#i would like to write any of these
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ive got too many wips to work on this is a cry for help
#zero thoughts#project sekai#proseka#pjsk#prsk#do i tag everyone.... nah#im so indecisive#for context: first 2 are polysquad#knightwhale + akitoya wips are akty#au drabbles are an assortment of au requests#(shizukasa mizuena minokana minokasa minoshiho kaimeiluka minokoha airikasamafuemu mikurin mafuena shizumafu nenekasa ruikana kailukamiku)#(can you tell someone really likes minori from these requests)#and both tymfs are toyamafu#i would like to write any of these#more leaning towards like fire dance but thats just bc brainrot Strong atm
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Shipping is fun and all but I swear every single time someone makes a comment, whether as a joke or in a legitimate analysis, about there being "no other explanation" for a pair's interactions, I lose just a bit more of my sanity
Like, no, you guys don't get it. Romance is not about the Amount of devotion, it's about the COLOR. the FLAVOR of it all. a character can be just as devoted to their platonic friend as they are to their romantic partner, and they don't love either of them more, just differently.
But because the majority of people still have it stuck in their minds that romance exists on the highest tier of love, I'm stuck seeing endless takes that boil down to "these two care about each other too much for it to NOT be romantic" as if that's the core determining factor to how literally any of this works
In conclusion: stop telling me that I don't understand the story if I don't interpret the leads as romantic, I am TIRED
#analysis#meta#miscellaneous#fandom#shipping#media discussion#amatonormativity#lgbtq#I feel like tagging any of the fandoms I was thinking of when writing this would be a little mean-spirited potentially#Disclaimer: no one has actually been telling me personally that I don't understand any story in particular#It's just that the way people tend to phrase their analyses feels unnecessarily targeted at the reader and that's just. not great#even if I agree with every other point they make
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.
Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.
Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:
What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?
What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?
And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?
Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"
Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."
Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"
It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.
Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.
#It's such a funny situation to imagine as well#Dazai doing the most out of pocket shit and Chuuya being like “It's okay. I'm here.”#and everyone else going like: ?????#I'd like for everyone to imagine weird Dazai quirks and how they relate to his true feelings#maybe even take moments from the manga that would be so cool#imagine the out of pocket things he does had just been him processing his feelings this entire time??#and there was no Chuuya to tell us#I mean seeing Dazai roll around with any ADA member would have made that a “haha quirky Dazai moment”#Instead of. Oh. He's *actually* worried.#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd hcs#bsd headcannons#bsd analysis#J's post#J's writing ✍🏽#Edit: as one tag said I just described autism lmao
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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how seb and clora get together in my fic 💕bc what better time and place to confess and share your first kiss than around a bunch of inferi + the dead body of a man you just killed?? 🥰💖
#and they say romance is dead#i remember how excited i was when brainstorming this scene LOL im still so happy with it/how i wrote it and glad i finally drew it#when i got the idea of seb using the relic to make an inferi army and save her BAHHA like...i get it clora. i get it.😔✊#id ALSO confess on the spot after seeing that LMAO like it could have been ANY man at that point and id be like... marry me???#obvs i had to shorten it and cut out some stuff BUT i got the gist of the scene#sad i didnt manage to include some stuff but it would have ruined the flow.....c'est la vie#god they really just make out for the entire beginning of that chapter tho LMFAOO god i had so much fun writing and posting every week#those early fandom days........(sighs wistfully and stares out the window like an old man)#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#clora clemons#choccyart#victor rookwood
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soulmate au where your soulmate's thoughts appear on your skin except your soulmate has adhd and your body becomes a living canvas of nonsensical, never-ending, constantly entertaining trails of thought
#like out of all the soulmate aus i always found the 'thoughts on skin' one most unrealistic#because my damn brain never shuts up! there's no way my soulmate would just be getting one random thought appear on them 😭#imagine your otp#soulmate au#writing prompt#drarry#wolfstar#jegulus#buddie#lestappen#maxiel#landoscar#sebchal#martian#sambucky#sterek#IF ANYBODY WRITES OR FINDS A FIC LIKE THIS FOR ANY OF <<THESE SHIPS PLS PLS SEND MY WAY 🙏
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Now that you're gone
#*guy who just spent a full month selling 60 pages worth of comics voice* i should write another comic#this is part 1 of 2 btw. i have another one scripted from aryll's pov LOL#anyway. the concept for this has been in my head for like. years. finally decided to actually write it tho lol#the thought of his family after the initial calamity strike makes me crazy. they lost him. but he was already gone.#he was gone the moment he picked up that sword. could they have stopped it? should they have?#would things have ended any differently if they'd tried? or would it only have been worse for him?#ANYWAY. hi everyone new black and white zelda comic from the black and white zelda comic guy#skribbles#botw#loz#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#totk#tears of the kingdom#OH SHIT. TRIGGER WARNINGS#tw gore#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#<sorry 4 forgetting at first LMAO
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i have many thoughts on lee gilyoung and kim dokja but i fear i may explode if i try to articulate them fully
there is something to be said in the way kdj and orv as a whole really tends to sidestep lgy. like kdj cares about lgy of course. and orv obviously wants us to care about lgy or else they would have killed him off for shock value or fridged him way earlier than they did or something. and yet he remains in the main story but still on the sidelines
i think there is something very sad to be said about how kdj very openly tends to love on/lavish attention onto sys and like consciously acknowledge that she is, in many ways, his daughter, yet doesnt really do the same for lgy. there is something very sad to be said about the way kdj tends to refer to sys individually, but only to lgy in the collective "kids." there is something very sad in the way kdj saw himself in lgy the first time he saw him on the subway and saw him both as a boy to be saved and a tool to be used and i dont think their relationship ever really recovered from this.
like he cares about them because he doesnt want to be a shitty father-figure but hes a shitty father-figure because he cares. and while sys is saved from the brunt of this to a degree because shes a character so he can just mimic how yjh treats her in worldlines where she's saved and get by on that, lgy doesnt have that kind of support. lgy is not a fictional wunderkid or pitiable, fragile little girl (however true or false that assessment of sys is). hes a snot nosed foul mouthed violent boy obsessed with bugs and death and kdj, i think, knows he ought to care for him but he doesnt know how and doesnt bother to learn and that, i believe, the not-bothering that is, is what truly incriminates him as a shitbag father. hes afraid so he doesnt try and lgy spends 90% of orv being terrified kdj secretly hates him and the worst part is hes almost right
#kim dokja when i fucking get you when i fucking GET you kim dokja#because it doesnt matter if he loves lgy or not. lgy doesnt feel like he does and the instant you fuck up so bad#your kid starts sobbing because he cant come up with any reasons why you would love him#that is the instant where you lost!!! you lost you fucked up!!!#i need to kill kdj with my bare hands.#orv#omniscient reader#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kdj#kim dokja#lgy#lee gilyoung#sys#shin yoosung#bard writes#do i tag this meta....#what the hell sure.#orv meta
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There's this weird take I've seen floating around on TikTok that Bill doesn't actually care about his family/dimension or Stanford at all; that we're supposed to take everything in TBOB as non-canon basically because he's lying to garner sympathy from reader to make a deal with them. I'm all for having your own interpretations of media, but I just don't think this idea that Bill is a completely heartless unfeeling creature is supported by canon at all. In fact, it kind of feels like the opposite of the point of the book.
Like, yeah, most things Bill says should be taken with a grain of salt because he lies a lot, but he's not actually a very good liar? It's usually pretty easy to clock when he's full of it. But okay, even if we assume every word Bill says while trying to recruit the reader is a lie, there are three major things that this doesn't account for.
Bill is not the only source in the book. The lost Journal 3 pages were written by Stanford, we only know about the interdimensional Taco Bell incident because of an included police transcript, etc.
Even once he's lost any chance of making a deal with the reader to escape, Bill is having a complete breakdown and mentions all the people he so totally doesn't miss for real you guys. Why bother with reverse psychology double-lying for sympathy once his shot at getting the reader on his side is already gone?
Trying to garner the reader's sympathy makes sense to a certain extent, but why go out of his way to make himself look pathetic? Does revealing that he got drunk and cried over his ex in a fast-food drive-through really help his cause if that cause is to convince the reader he's still a powerful being capable of starting the apocalypse again so they can rule with him?
And that's all without even mentioning that, as previously stated, I think the entire point of the book is missed if we're interpreting Bill as having no genuine feelings or attachments. The book ends with Stanford healing from his past by being open about what he went through with his family and accepting their help, while Bill insists he doesn't need anyone and refuses to heal, actively making himself worse in the process. The clear theme imo is that accepting your past and accepting help from people who love you is essential to healing, while denying those things just makes everything worse. If Bill doesn't actually care about his family, his dimension, Stanford, or anything/anyone else, he has no trauma to heal from or regrets to learn from that he's refusing to accept and deal with, and the entire meaning of the book is made moot.
#tbob spoilers#tbob#the book of bill#bill cipher#billford#also it's just dumb bc like. the book did not invent these concepts.#there are clear implications in other sources that he regrets what he did to his dimension and that he genuinely cares about Ford.#anyone remember “saw his own dimension burn/misses home and can't return/says he's happy he's a liar blame the arson for the fire”?#and the “obsessive ex who still has feelings” dynamic he has w Ford is not new to this book it's just expanded on in it#also WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF WRITING A BOOK. IF WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE ANY OF IT AS CANON. THAT'S NOT HOW UNRELIABLE NARRATORS WORK.#this is rly long whoops can u tell how annoyed i am by this take#gravity falls
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Currently, my favorite potential Forgettable!AU Gaster and Papyrus dynamic:
My personal favorite interpretation of what Papyrus and Gasters relationship (whether it be (grand)father/son, or just mentor and trainee) would be like, is them both being equally as enthusiastic about everything, and in general just matching each others energy 100% 😭 ITS SO AMAZING ITS ALWAYS A TREAT WHEN A COMIC PORTRAYS THEM AS SUCH
“GASTER!!!!” “PAPYRUS!!!” “GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY!!!!” “WHAT DID YOU DO MY SON?????” “I FINISHED THAT PUZZLE I WAS WORKING ON!!!” “OH MY GOD!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!!!!”
and sans sitting on the couch like: :)
Its just so pure….
SO ANYWHO, taking that dynamic and shoving it into this AU is currently my favorite thing to think about
Then its even better with Wingdings being canonically unnerved by Papyrus, and being (ID IMAGINE) not too thrilled with being in the same room as Gaster for too long.
I wanna make a Seinfeld ass sitcom series of all 3 of them living in an apartment together and also Sans and/or Alphys visits periodically
Gaster and Papyrus are like staring daggers at the newspaper puzzles tryna solve em, and Wingdings comes in all tired with a cup of coffee and as he’s about to greet them they both go “SHH!!!”
They’d kinda be like Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward
There would be a running gag where they would always find clearly unintentional hidden messages in the horoscope because of the letters that they correspond to in the wingdings font
Gaster would just randomly talk in like jokerman font because he can
LET ME COOK 😭😭😭😭 id go on. And i probably will on my shitpost account
They should all have a group name like- “Papyrus and Co” or “The Three Skeleclones”
#I love them all so much all for very different reasons#seriously debating making a short comic#sans would come in and wingdings thinks hes gonna resolve the conflict#thats been going on the entire episode#but he just makes it so much worse#and wd has to call alphys who fucks up so bad it brings them all closer and ends up resolving everything#LET ME COOK#oh yeah and im writing all of this COMPLETELY ignoring how impossible it would be for any of this to happen#LIKE MAYBE GASTER AND PAPYRUS#OR GASTER AND WINGDINGS#not Papyrus and Wingdings#if that happens in the comics id be shocked#cause as far as I know#dead people cant talk to their replacements#EY IM OPEN TO IT IF IT HAPPENS#i just dunno how
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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I… don’t really see myself continuing with the Amazing Digital Circus anymore.
#txt#it’s not a bad show#the recent episode was also pretty alright#but I don’t know. it’s just not clicking for me ya know? even though I really want to#I love the designs and the premise. I love that it has girls that are weird in not that condescending modern writing kind of way#the last episode just confused me. it felt purposefully aimless and then the last 3 minutes suddenly it was about Gangle wanting to be like#but… has anyone explictely shown any dislike for her other than Jax? everyone seems very friendly with her#I feel like it would have made more sense if Gangle felt mistreated or neglected#because a lot of terrible shit does happen to her (specifically from Jax) and nobody intervenes#whatever. I’m happy that other people are enjoying the episode though. I’m just not feeling this show anymore
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