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byuntrash101 · 9 months

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realistic sex with wooyoung

wooyoung x f!reader fluff | smut | mdni a/n: woo is the next entry to this series where i try to imagine how each member would actually fuck, as ✨realistically✨ as possible. disclaimer: i say realistic but lets be honest this is pure delulu behaviour and total fiction. everything is solely based on the vibes the boys give off.

right off the bat: wooyoung is a huge flirt. you (and the whole entire universe) have always known that. i feel like to be compatible with woo you have to be aware of that. you might have to be a bit of a flirt yourself.

i feel you guys were constantly bickering and then flirting and then bickering again because that's just how the dynamic felt right for you. whether it’s bickering or flirting it’s always playful and for the latter each time one of you would take it a notch further just to see the other cave in and giggle and back away then it’s back to bickering playfully.

at some point he didn’t back away and giggle and you didn’t either and it happened. you kissed and that felt electrifying. all those pent up feelings you both started to develop for each other but both masked with humor and witty jokes and love/hate disses got out at once.

all these feelings got pour into that one fateful kiss that sealed something into you.

i feel that's how your story started. it just all flowed very naturally. both guided by just your gut feeling about each other.

once you got together together the bickering didn’t stop at all. because it’s just what you do, what you always did. except now he’s not just “stupid” he’s your “stupid bf”.

actually maybe the bickering got even worse because you both just unlocked a whole new layer of the relationship that allows you to be more secure and therefore even more annoying (lovingly).

you’re that kind of couple that if people aren't close to you and don’t know how you function you don’t seem right for each other when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth. because your chemistry and passive understanding of each other is unmatched. because you are both adaptive (more on that laterrrrr wink wonk blink blonk) you can read the room you know when it’s time to annoy him and when it’s time to cuddle

speaking of that cuddling/kissing/lovey dovey shit. that tile can be ANYTIME wooyoung just gets into the touchy mood UNANNOUNCED. it doesn't matter if there’s 8 billion people watching or you’re all alone. he absolutely will launch himself into your arms and demand to be babied or wrap his arms around you and squeeze the life out of you until he’s satisfied with the amount of touchy feely time he’s got with you.

he will also sneak in neck kisses and he doesn’t care if you’re ticklish or if you are just in the dorm couch and jongho and joong are there judging because they both don’t get pda. but that's because they get the urge that wooyoung feels when he craves to be near you to feel your skin and your warmth to feel your heart beating next to his. they don’t get it but he doesn’t care because you understand, you get him.

our pda king (bend the knee)

you’re just perfect for each other

remember that bit about woo being adaptive? i think the perfect person for wooyoung has to share that trait with him and that has to apply in the bedroom because i am convinced this man is a rare specimen of a perfect 50/50 switch.

okay like you know everyone is always like “woo #1 babygirl” and i can't agree more he is the ultimate but hear me out

sure woo is a brat everyone can agree with that but have you seen how the members respect him? he makes it very clear to them that sometimes it’s okay to pull his leg and sometimes it’s not. sometimes i feel they're low-key scared of him. have you seen the look he gives when he's mad? that screams dom to me (argue with the wall)

one time he’d be all whiny and literally beg on his knees for you to have your way with him. flashing you the pleading puppy eyes being all like “please y/n. pleasepleaseplease touch me. i-i can’t take it anymore” while he produces the most delectable fingerlicking good pathetic little moans and ruts his hips against your thigh in the dead of the night because little baby got a excited by an extra realistic dream. of course you cave in immediately but he doesn’t need to know that so you tease just a little (or a lot) before giving him what he wants. “aww baby? what do you want?” you say running your nails up his bare thighs, making him shiver. before you finally grab a hold of his hard and dripping cock. and then it’s all broken thank you’s and high pitched moans until he shakes and cums all over your hand.

other times he’s the one in control. and he does it oh so well. getting you really needy without even touching you. cause i think wooyoung as a way with words when it comes to foreplay. if you’re both having a lazy morning in bed it would only take minutes for him to lean over you and whisper all kinds of dirty things in your ear until you feel yourself getting sticky between the thighs and you can't help squirming to find some friction.

i think he absolutely loves seeing you like this he loves the power he has over you when you allow him

when you’re too far gone and your eyes are half lidded and your mind has slipped into another layer of your consciousness he would ask you “baby~ why are you squirming like this?” and he would be so happy to only hear desperate whimpers as replies. “you want me to touch you?” queue the evil smirk™. you know the one! that one smirk only the jung wooyoung can pull. just picture him! over you, soft lips stretched into a sly little smirk, displaying his shiny teeth, the mischievous and satisfied glint in his fox-like eyes????? ughhhhh. typical wooyoung!! so on brand!!!!!

one other thing that’s typical wooyoung behaviour is being loud af and that doesn't stop when he steps in the bedroom. woo is vocal with anything dirty talk and moans. he will fucking surround dolby 7.1 sound those moans and grunts and pants right in your ear and tell you everytime he’s about to stuff you full of cum for your enjoyment.

but one thing is certain whether he’s subbing or domming that boy likes it ROUGH. he likes to be put back in his place as much as he likes to put you back in yours (we love a couple of switches that found each other <3).

woo is probably one of the freakiest of the group. along with hwa and joong. but when hwa’s freakiness is mainly brought out by your own. he will be more or less freaky depending on you because he’s a pleaser he wants you to feel good. joong and woo, on the other hand are consistently freaky.

i think woo is low-key a sadist. he loves pain play. i feel he enjoys impact play especially if their’s visible marks that are left there to testify of what he did to you/you did to him. he loves to know you belong to each other and he would look with adoration at his bruised knees (stayed there for hours to worship you) the next day.

but that’s not it! i think woo’s kink of predilection is ✨degradation✨ (no one is surprised he literally admitted it himself) that's the big one for him and i feel for you too (yeah ik you). well it’s got to be. because if you guys became a thing because you were non stop roasting each other that shit would only hide something latent underneath all this bickering. and that ladies and gents is a degradation kink (i dont make the rules).

that being said i think at the beginning of the relationship wooyoung was a little unsure about it. he knew he liked it but he didn’t initiate it and he could have creamed his pants the first time you slipped a little derogatory comment to test the waters yourself. i imagine it at a house party (maybe a mutual’s friends apartment) a little after you both made it official. there’s music you’re both dancing and you slip your hand in his hair and you give it a sharp pull it with that he let out a moan right into your ear that was fortunately covered by the music but you heard him clear as day and right after you felt the consequences of your actions pressed hard against your stomach. you instinctively push your body even closer to wooyoung and you smirk up at him when his cheeks flush pink. “you got hard in the middle of this crowd just because i pulled on your hair a little?” you leaned in to whisper in his ear “that’s disgusting”. the magic words! you felt him twitch against your stomach and his hot breath quickened as it fanned your ear. “fuck” he cursed under his breath trying so hard not to give in to his primal instincts and just dry hump you right then and there. “please say that again” you heard him beg in your ear before exhaling a big shaky sigh of need. “you’re a disgusting little pervert” and 0.000002 secs later he was hushering you in the guest bathroom and to fuck your brains inside you out.

after that you unlocked a new stage in your relationship. you could get a little mean (aka very mean he likes it when you’re very mean) and he could be himself fully. making you beg on your knees for his cock. calling you his little slut, his cum hungry whore, his perfect little cocksleeve. and it was all said lovingly and it felt right for the both of you

happy freaky little couple ugh so cute im gonna barf

IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤

a/n: finally back with this series! please give me lots of love because im finally getting out of a terrible writer's block :(

want to see another member? request it in the comments or asks <3

realistic sex with seonghwa, with mingi, with yunho, with san

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kaliforniahigh · 2 months

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I need some best friend!Noah to lover action lol

You and Noah have been best friends for years. It's a very sweet and fluffy friendship but somewhere along the way Noah develops a crush on you. He never says anything because he doesn't want to ruin your friendship.

Noah is your rock and shoulder to cry on after it never works out with the guys you date. He knows he can treat you better but he still doesn't make a move. 🥺

One night when you're at his place watching anime or playing video games, he finally gets the courage to tell you how he feels and he hopes you'd give him a chance (you do obviously). And then the night ends with romantic and sweet smutty love.

Y'all love bestfriend!Noah so much and I'm so on board for this! Thank you so much for the request, hope you like it!!!

Warnings: mention of the death of an animal (it's fake), pining, smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it up, babes!), fingering (fem. receiving), a little bit of overprotective Noah. I think that's it.

WC: 3.9k

Requests are closed for now.

You're probably the best thing that has ever happened in Noah's life. He wishes he was exaggerating, but that's the way he felt about you. He has no doubt you love him as much as he loves you, he just wanted you to love him in the same way.

He doesn't remember when his feelings went from loving you as a friend to loving you as something more. But everyday he saw you, he wished he could introduce you as his girlfriend and not just his friend.

Realistically, he knew it wasn't gonna happen. You've been in a series of dates these past few months, every single one of them ended disastrously, with you crying on his shoulder and saying you were giving up on men. But then the cycle repeated itself and he was left wondering what he would do if you just gave him a chance.

He was trailing behind you at the Farmer's Market, watching you pick fresh tomatoes and putting them in your bag.

"Are you making lasagna tonight?", he asked you, looking around him aimlessly, trying to remember if he needed to pick something up for himself.

"Yes, I am", you answered, but kept picking tomatoes. He must have counted six or seven already.

"Are you feeding an army of people? Why do you need so much tomato sauce?" he finally asked you, confusion laced in his voice.

"I might have company tonight for dinner", you said, sheepishly looking at him. He felt his stomach drop. Not only did you have a date tonight, but you were making them your special lasagna recipe?

"Who is it?" he still held out hope that you would said you just invited some friends over, but he knew that wasn't the case.

"He is a friend of a friend. I've been talking to him for a few days now"

You've been talking to him for only a few days? And you were already cooking for him and inviting him inside your house? His jealousy turned into concern.

"You've met him before, right? Like, met him in real life, went out with him?" he needed to make sure you weren't inviting a complete stranger into your home.

"This is our first date, I actually haven't met him. But all my friends told me he's really nice", you told him, as if there wasn't a problem in what you're doing.

"Y/N, look at me right now", he demanded, snatching some tomatoes from your hand and putting them back in their place. "You're inviting a complete stranger that you've never met before into your house and you don't see a problem in that at al?", he waved his hand around in a exasperated manner.

"Noah, he isn't a complete stranger, my friends know him and he's been nice to me so far", you argued.

"Yeah, I bet hell is full of nice people as well", he rubbed his forehead in stress. "I know that no matter what I say, you're not cancelling this stupid date. Just make sure you have your phone close to you and if he starts acting weird, you call me", his voice was firm, and he even grabbed your shoulder for emphasis.

"I promise I'll call you", you reassured him. Your heart tugged at his concern for you.

When you became friends with Noah, you knew right away that he would be trouble for your heart. You were instantly infatuated with him, his kind eyes and funny personality. It didn't take long at all for him to capture your heart.

But only a few weeks after knowing him, he started dating someone, and you didn't even have time to shoot your shot. So you decided to will your feelings away, even if it was the hardest thing you would ever do in your life.

You watched from afar and how he interacted with his girlfriend at the time. The way he cared for her and the way he looked at her with so much adoration in his eyes. You wished that for you, and if you couldn't have that with him, you would find someone else who could provide it for you.

Ever since then, he has broken up with his girlfriend and you've been on countless failed dates. Even though he's your best friend, he kept the reason for the break up strangely vague. You always thought it was weird, but never pressed on the subject.

Him, on the other hand, kept replaying in his head the words his ex-girlfriend told him the day she broke up with him.

"In the months we've been together, you haven't been able to tell me you love me. But you don't hesitate to say it to her"

He remembers the way she reffered to you in venomous way.

"I think you're with the wrong person and it shows. Everyone can tell you're in love with her and not me"

He kept quiet, not really able to argue with that. She was right, but he wasn't going to admit that to her face. So she left and never came back. He doesn't blame her, he guesses it's cruel staying with someone who loves someone else.

He wanted to be sad about the break up, but it was evident he was more relieved than anything. You asked questions and he kept the answers vague until you dropped the subject entirely, and you never spoke of it again.

"When is he arriving at your house?", he asked you.

"I told him around 8pm. I should have plenty of time to get everything ready by then", you said as you went about picking some other ingredients you needed.

The rest of the visit to the Farmer's Market was quiet. You knew Noah was in a sour mood now compared to when you arrived, but you left him to his devices when strayed to look at some seasonings for himself. He never strayed too far from you anyway.

He dropped you off at home after you left, you told him goodbye and went up the stairs. You had a lasagna to make.

As Noah sulked on the couch, he wondered what would be the best time to head to your house. If the dude was arriving at 8pm, he should probably be there but 7:45pm at least.

Looking at the clock and seeing it was barely 3pm, he let his thoughts drift back to you once again. If it was so obvious to everyone that he was in love with you, why could you not notice it? Or did you notice it and decided to ignore it? Why were you so adamant in getting a boyfriend? Were you not happy by yourself?

He was being ridiculous, you wouldn't be alone your whole life. Eventually you would find someone, marry them and have kids, and he would be just your best friend for the rest of his life. He wondered how he could find a girlfriend, marry and have his own family if he was so hung up on you.

He decided to take a shower and have a bite to eat. Sitting around wasn't doing him any good.

You had put the lasagna in the oven and was now taking a shower to start getting ready. You weren't as excited for this date as you thought you would be. Going on dates actually got old for you a while back, so you promised yourself this would be the last one, and if it didn't work out, you wouldn't try anymore.

Even though you feeling a little down before your date even arrived, you put effort into your makeup and outfit, not going overboard since you would be staying at home after all, so you went with something casual.

You checked the food from time to time, the delicious scent filling the whole apartment as you waited.

On the way to your house, since he had a bit to spare, he picked up some hamburgers and fries. It wasn't as good as your heavenly lasagna that the prick would eat, but it had to do.

He parked a bit to the left of your apartment entrance, on the other side of the street, and settling himself in his car, he waited. As much as he wanted, he wouldn't crash your date. He just wanted to be as close as possible, just in case this dude tried anything and you actually needed to call him. If your date lasted hours, he would stay parked outside your place.

Just a little before 8pm, a sleek black sedan - a BMW, if he was being specific - parked outside your place. He buzzed the intercom and waited for you to buzz him in.

So he was also an entitled rich guy? Maybe he was a finance dude? He made a mental note to ask you later.

He could see two shadows from the window in your apartment. He looked away, not taking chances in seeing things that would only disappoint him. And he didn't even know if you kissed on the first date, but hoped not.

It was now 9pm and he had finished his burgers and fries, the wrapper thrown carelessly on the passenger seat. You must be having dinner now, right? Maybe the dude would leave by 10pm?

10pm rolled around and there were no signs of the guy leaving. He was beginning to get restless, not able to find a comfortable position on the car seat. He contemplated calling you, but two hours was a reasonable amount of time for a date, he thinks.

Thirty minutes later - yes, he was watching the clock very closely - his phone buzzed on his lap, your nickname and face flashing on his screen. He could've sworn he's never picked up a phone so fast in his life.

"Hey, is everything ok?", he said right out the gate.

"Yeah, everything's fine. It's just", you hesitated for a moment. "He doesn't wanna leave? We had dinner and we've talked plenty and I don't know how to tell him that I just want him to leave already", he could tell you didn't want to be rude. Lucky for you, he didn't have that problem.

"Where is he right now?", he asked you.

"He's in the bathroom. Can you just call me with an emergency or something? Just so I can have an excuse?", he could to that, but he was already outside your place.

"I'll just show up at your apartment. It would be more effective", he argued.

"You don't have to drive all the way here, a call is fine", you tried to convince him.

"That's not a problem at all. I'll be there soon"

"Ok then. Listen, he's leaving the bathroom. I'm waiting for you", you said hurriedly and hung up the phone.

He thought of a plan of action as his eyes settled on a bottle of water he was drinking from earlier in the day. He splashed some water on his cheeks, as well as on his eyes. Locking his car, he walked over to the entrance of your building, buzzing your apartment number.

You picked up and he got himself ready to put on his best act. Pretending to be crying, he told you through the intercom.

"Oh my god, Y/N, you're not gonna believe what just happened", he said, in a fake desperate voice.

"Noah? What is going on?", you asked, just as desperate.

"Furry, my cat, just got got ran over by a car, oh my god, I'm so devastated", he "cried" harder, trying to not to laugh at the same time.

"Oh my, that's horrible. I'll let you come up and we can talk about it", you buzzed him in and he took the stairs two at a time, arriving at your door and knocking rapidly. You opened the door and the sight before you was comical. He had "tear" stains all over his cheeks and his lips were downturned like a cartoon character. You hugged him for effect and whispered a "thank you" on his ear.

Your date stood in your living room, awkwardly watching the scene unfold before him. "Hmm, I gues I'll go? Let you deal with it?", he said as you parted from the hug and turned to look at him.

"Yeah, I think that's best. I'll text you?", you told him, trying to sound as if you were sorry your date was cut "short".

He made his way to the door, you and Noah making space for him to leave. "I'm sorry for your loss, man", he patted Noah on the shoulder, you could hear in his voice that he was truly sorry for this imaginary cat that just died. Noah only nodded in a solemn display of sadness.

"I'll buzz you out", you let him know as he was making his way to the staircase. You closed the door and you and Noah fell into a fit of giggles, both clutching your stomachs and doubling over in laughter.

"Oh my god, that was Oscar worthy", you clutched his arm, still laughing.

"What can I say? I'm truly talented", he said as he threw his imaginary hair back. You led him to sit on the couch and told him you would change into some more comfortable clothes and be right back.

You put on your sweatpants and a sweatshirt that probably belonged to Noah, but has been in your closet for such a long time that you couldn't really tell anymore. Making your back to the living room, you sat beside him, grabbing the controller for the TV and opening Netflix.

"How did you get here so fast?", you asked him as you browsed through the movies and series, trying to find something interesting to watch. When he didn't answer you, you looked at him, thinking he didn't hear you. But he was looking back at you, struggling to answer.

"I was already parked outside your building?", he was unsure of what your response would be to this information.

"You were what?", your voice wasn't angry, you were actually amused.

"When you told me you were inviting this guy to your place, I got worried. I mean, we hear stories everyday and it's scary. So I though if I was close by, and you called me saying that something happened, I would already be here"

You were at a loss for words. You couldn't believe that this man was parked outside your place, probably for hours, just because he was worried about you. You went out with guys who wouldn't pay the bill, or even pick up and drive you back to your place when you went on a date. And here Noah was, blowing your mind as per usual.

Your bar was low for a while when it came to men in general. But you reminded yourself that the person before you never let you down, he actually raised the bar so high that no other person could ever reach it.

"That's really sweet of you, thank you", you said and you were as sincere as you could be. "I'm really glad I have you looking out for me"

Noah cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject, suspecting you were just about to friendzone him.

"So how was this guy? Was the date ok?", he asked you, even though he didn't really wanna hear about it.

"He was ok. He was everything people told me about. But I guess my heart just wasn't in it?" you moved your body sideways, so you were facing him.

"Why not?"

"I guess I'm just tired of looking for the one", a big sigh left your lips at this admission.

Noah felt like this was now or never. He could fuck up your entire friendship within seconds. But he couldn't live with this anymore.

"You keep looking, but I think what you need is right before your eyes and you just never realized it", he watched as your brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I could make you the happiest girl in the world and you keep going out with these guys who won't even bother to know the first thing about you"

Silence fell upon you after he said this. The reality of his words sunk into you. You knew Noah could make you the happiest girl, and he already did, but you never imagined he would ever mean it in a romantic way. He could sense your confusion.

"Why do you think my last relationship ended?", he questioned you.

"Because you were on the road a lot and it didn't work out? That's what you told me"

"It was because she could tell I was so in love with you that I didn't have space in my heart for anyone else. So she left me"

You were shocked by his revelation.

"You're in love with me?" your voice was dazed, not actually believing the words falling from his lips.

"For someone so smart, you're such a silly girl at times", he teased you, not wanting to think about the fact that you could let him down any second now.

"Noah, you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear this", your eyes were misty with tears as he leaned closer.

"And I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time. I'm sorry I let you go out with these fools for this long"

You stayed gazing into each others eyes, his hand came up to your face and started stroking your cheek. You scootched yourself closer to him, your faces only inches apart.

"Noah", you whispered to him and he hummed, too entranced with you this close to give a verbal answer. "Kiss me, please", you didn't ask, rather demanded, and you didn't need to say it twice. His lips landed on yours firmly, and he clutched the back of your neck to press your faces together. There was an urgency in the kiss as you moved in the pace he set.

Opening your mouth, you gave him permission to slip his tongue past your lips, making the kiss even more heated. Soon, your presence beside him wasn't enough and you made a move to climb onto his lap, but hesitated halfway, unsure of how far he wanted to take this.

But his hands landing on your thighs told you everything you needed to know, as you swung a leg over his, both knees resting on the couch. Your breath was picking up and so was his, and you parted to let some air into your lungs.

"You feel so much better than I thought", Noah told you, while his hands ran up and down your thighs. You looked into his eyes and saw they were clouded over with lust and want. Reaching for his hands, you slid them a little higher until they rested on your ass.

"I need you", your voice was breathless and you settled your core over his crotch, feeling his hard erection under you. He hissed and squeezed your ass tight.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this right now", he tried to reassure you, he was happy just kissing and making out on the couch.

"Please, I haven't been fucked in so long", you pleaded with him with a whine, rolling your hips over his to get your point across. His eyes closed and he threw his head back at the feeling.

"Let's take these clothes off, then", his hands made quick work of your - his - sweatshirt, leaving your top bare for him. His hands were everywhere, your sides, your stomach, your breasts and finally rested on your neck, a thumb reaching to swipe over your lips.

Your hands reacher for the hem of his tank top, pulling it over his head. You lowered your head and began giving him kisses all over his chest, hands running over every inch of skin you could find.

"You're so sweet for me. Can't wait to be inside you, bet you'd feel so good around me", he said in your ear, your head spinning from his dirty words. You got up from his lap and slid your sweatpants and underwear down your legs, and he did the same with his jeans and boxers, and you situated yourself on his lap again.

His hand slid between your legs, feeling how wet you are for him. His fingers felt so good over you and you couldn't help but start to move your hips in circles, gasps of pleasure leaving your mouth.

"I need your fingers, please", you told him, wanting to feel the fingers you fantasized about iniside you. He couldn't deny your plea, he slid one first and then another, finding no resistance at all. He moved his fingers back and forth, curling inside you and hitting all the right spots.

Your hips moved with him and he couldn't take his eyes off of you, or the way his long fingers disappeared inside you, your wetness starting to drip down your thighs. He pulled them out, not wanting to wait any longer to feel you wrapped around him.

Positioning your entrance over his hard cock, you started to sink down, making it halfway until you had to stop for a moment, having to adjust to his size.

"It's ok, baby, we follow your pace, go slow, get used to it", he told you, hands going to your back in a soothing motion. You felt it burn a little, but the sensation was dizzying, and you couldn't wait to feel all of him. So you resumed your movements and after a few seconds, he bottomed out and you swear you've never felt do full in your life.

"It feels so good", you whined.

"I know, baby, you also feel incredible, so thight around me it's driving me crazy", you mewled at his words, his praises.

You slowly started to move up and down, waiting until he was almost all the way out to bounce back. His grip was impossibly tight on your hips, helping you along.

Your legs started to give out under you, both from tiredness and pleasure. He noticed this, as he slid down the couch a little, hips working to fuck into you at an impossibly fast pace, your head dropping to rest on his chest, the moans coming freely out of your mouth now.

"I'm so close, please don't stop", you told him, voice strained, mixed with your sounds of pleasure.

"Me too, baby. C'mon, cum with me, cum all over my dick", his words sent you over the edge as you convulsed above him, hearing his grunts in your ears as a warm sensation filled your insides.

You both stayed there for a while, catching your breaths, bodies going limp on the couch. When you lifted your head from his chest to look at him, he had such a fucked out look on his face.

You reached for his hair that got in his face, pushing it back, his half lidded eyes looking at you.

"We should probably take a shower", you told him, voice low as to not disrupt the moment.

"We should, but I just wanna stay here a little longer", his hand stroked over your own hair, cupping your face and pulling you to lay down on his chest again, both of your bare bodies feeling every inch of each other.

You hummed in satisfaction, eyes closing and reveling in the feeling of him so close to you.

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etherfabric · 3 months

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Which part of you wants to be felt? + Affirmations

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You have free will. I merely provide my perspective in these readings. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does.

Pile 1

Death, Wheel of Fortune

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your optimism. This feels to you like putting a boulder on a butterfly - dooming it from the beginning. You lost all trust in your right and ability to imagine good scenarios. Anytime one creeps up to you, you swat it away like an insect carrying a disease. True, you had to face some dark truths about the world and yourself - but don't forget why you started this process: You wanted to be happy and healthy again.

This means recalibrating your focus on what is good and fun. Things that make you glad to be alive. Even if you will fear losing them all over again. But if the past taught you one thing, it should be your ability to stand up and rebuild, right? You and your skills are the secret ingredient. You can afford risks. You are abundant in your ability to find the next good thing. Looking back at all you lost, doesn't it make sense? Didn't it make room for all this, that is so much more you? Whatever loss you will have to face in the future will just be the predecessor of an even further upgrade. Don't wait for guarantees. Seize what you have now, and trust in divine timings. You will get your fill. But you have to give access to your cup first.

Your affirmation is:

I am aware that being happy means I am on the right path.

Pile 2

5 of Wands rx, The Fool rx

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your willingness towards repair after conflict. I know there have been countless occassions where you were the "stupid" one to extend a peaceful hand first, only for it to be slapped away, or used to pull you down even further. No one deserves that, you included. While we can't expect a foolproof (eheh, because of the Fool, get it? ...sorry) guarantee to always have the right timing with our peace offers, it's still worth a try. I feel this resentment towards yourself for being even able to do that. "Not this idiot again getting us hurt even further after a fight." But this idiot is exactly the one who will bring you closer to those who actually just had a bad day when they hurt you. Who truly wished things would have been different. And are probably desperate to reconnect, but just don't know where to even begin. You do. Dare to risk it again.

It might bring up old pain that feels unbearable, but remind yourself (if you can) that you are much more powerful than in the past, where those low blows were truly devastating. They will never feel nice, but if you let them be a reason to never get close to someone again, you run the risk of being lonelier than you'd realistically have to be. The malicious intent you feel might be a remnant from unprocessed hurt, instead of a reliable source of purely present information. Let the dust settle and reassess the situation. If in the calm, this still feels like war, and you worked through your shadow to see clearer, then by all means, please leave. But don't destroy something good because it touched a sore spot.

Your affirmation is:

My capability to show my true feelings is always a step towards love and life.

Pile 3

The Star, 2 of Swords rx

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your faith, to be more precise, your confidence in being worthy of having faith. You are still on the fence with a lot of big and small things regarding it. You feel like you just started consciously allowing yourself to even entertain that dimension of existence, that there might be more than the eye can see, that science and logic don't paint the whole picture. Even reading that sentence felt kind of... wrong, right? That's actually super normal. This image of sudden enlightenment, never waivering in one's beliefs and always flowing on a cloud of omniscience and serenity is a product sold to us. To keep us discouraged from our inner strength and voice, and assign our own power to supposedly better people than us. "I am having doubts, I feel kinda silly doing this sometimes, I forget a lot of the practices, I do it haphazardly, I don't cleanse/pray/meditate/worship/offer/affirm enough, or do it the wrong way..." And then we feel guilty when we turn towards our faith in times of desperation and hopelessness, despite our "lousy performance".

Pardon my french, but cut that shit out. You are worthy. You are a spiritual being, point blank, whether you are in a ceremonial robe humming psalms or sitting on your toilet watching TikTok. Performance doesn't determine relevance. Performance or lack thereof will never be able to erase the deep truth you already tapped into. You discovered your spiritual side, but not in lieu to your physical, logical self - no one wants you to abandon or replace anything. It's an addition for the spaces 3D can't fill. The times you turn towards it are exactly the times you should. Give yourself grace and patience to let this gigantic new dimension unfold in its own time for you. It's a lot, and that's the beauty of it. Now, with this, there will always be something new to learn and explore!

Your affirmation is:

There is no way to get my life wrong. My connection to source is eternal.

Pile 4

5 of Pentacles rx, Temperance

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your relief. When I tap into your energy, it matches the archetype of a man on his porch with a shotgun in his lap. He is already falling asleep in his rocking chair, because there is no actual danger present that would cut the lulling sound of crickets, but then this thing inside his head goes off and he jolts awake to point the weapon at the dark. There hasn't been an intruder or dangerous animal in years, but he is so afraid of it happening again, that he ruins his own divinely orchestrated time for recuperation.

Yes, the horrors of the past were real, but you can wait forever to feel relaxed now that it's over, if you don't loosen your grip on your defenses (which are, quite frankly, premature offenses a lot of the times). It will feel terribly vulnerable and like the dumbest thing you could ever do, but your body needs your help. It. Is. Tired. Being scared is hard work. I know I am being the opposite of original here with my suggestions, and I invite you to moan your annoyance clearly, and roll your eyes at me with vigor when I say: Deep breath in, hold it for as long as you can, and exhale slowly. Repeat until you feel different. It might take a while, depending from how high of an adrenaline level you have to climb down, but golly, you need it. Don't be surprised if a pocket of fear comes up to be felt, the up and down is the way it goes towards equilibrium. Just keep breathing, dear. Your body knows the rest.

Your affirmation is:

I have the power to create peace within myself.

#pick a card #tarot reading #tarot #pick a card reading #PAC

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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites · 6 months

Text

Headcanons for the greasers x s/o who flinches when they raise their hand in a fight

Tw: Angsty ig, light potential violence, slight abusive

Ponyboy Curtis

-you two were arguing about his smoking again

-you really hates when he does it, and he does it too much

-so you express that one night when it’s just you two having dinner at the Curtis house, Darrys still working, and Soda is out with Steve

-“You need to quit smokin so much Ponyboy! It’ll kill you!”

“I can’t quit y/n, yk how I get without my cancer sticks, y/n, just lemme have one more!”

-soon it turns into a bigger arguement, and you both get into each others faces, yelling

-he raises his fist, not thinking, and pauses when he sees the fear in your eyes

-he feels immediately sick to his stomach, at the thought of scaring someone he loved so dearly

-as you run out of the house he yells “W-wait! Y/n! Y/n! I-i ain’t mean to I swear!”

-he feels horrible and definitely breaks down on his steps crying a bit and soda and carry find him there ask him what happened

-he explains and they exchange looks, and they make him go apologize

-he comes to your house with flowers and a handwritten apology, getting ready to leave them at your door when you open it

-before you can get a word in he’s already rambling “Y/n I-I am so sorry I would’ve never actually hit you, I hope you know that I’m so so sorry please don’t break up with me but I understand if you w-“

-you hug him

-“Ponyboy Micheal Curtis if you ever raise that fist again-“

-he never does

Johnny Cade

-it’s so hard to imagine him actually doing this

-I feel like the only way you’d get that kind of reaction out of him realistically is hurting his friends

-but for the sake of the hcs let’s say you both get into a fight and you try getting in his face or sum and he pushes you back, a lot harder then he meant

-you slam into the wall

-with tears down your cheeks, you always thought Johnny was your safe person, the last person on earth who would hurt you

-it wasn’t really about the pain, it didn’t hurt that much. But the fact he did it

-for Johnny, his world just shatters…. He just did what he swore he’d never do… lay hands on you

-he drops to his knees in shock at himself, feeling the worst pain imaginable looking at your wet eyes, your… scared eyes

-he knows that look so well, the one he’s had so many times himself and he feels his heart rip out when you run away from the lot

-in canon it takes a LOT to make him cry and this does it

-he cries in his hands, he can’t believe what he just did

-feels the worst out of all the greasers ☹️

-he lets you come to him, he doesn’t go to you, he wants to give you enough space from him

-when you come back and meet him at the lot his stomach does a flip

-“Y/n I didn’t mean to push you that hard I swear I wouldn’t ever hurt you I’m so sorry I’m just like my old man and ma…. I don’t ever wanna hurt you I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry….”

-practically drops to his knees before you

-you look at him, sighing, it’s impossible to stay mad at him

-you look him dead in the eyes as he gulps

“Johnny Cade you best never lay a finger on me again in that way y’hear?”

-he never comes close to doing that again, and even months later apologizes

Sodapop Curtis

-him doing this is so ooc like johnny lmao so it’s hard to protest and I think he’d again only ever do this if you attacked pony or sum

-you’re frustrated with him, he’s smart, dammit! Maybe a little slow, but when he gets things he gets them!

-and you really wish he could see that

-you both have enough collective money to push him through college to get a better job than a gas station

-and even if he is happy, he could be happier

-you both get into another arguement, and he grabs your arm, pulling you closer, and you squeal a little as your arm turns red

-he turns to you and meets your eyes, dropping your arm instantly

-you look at him in bewilderment and… fear as he starts

-“Y/n c’mon now please, wait…”

-but you’re out of that house faster than lightning

-he immediately goes to your house with flowers, and some jewelry that he’s been saving up to buy you

-you open the door “Soda, you can’t win my affection back with a half assed smile and-“

-he cuts you off with a sheepish grin “I- I actually intended to win you over in a different way…. Like an apology. I’m so sorry. I-After Sandy… I just can’t lose you too, to something so stupid. I’ll never do it again.”

-he is a man of his word

Darry Curtis

-one day he comes home, already tired from work and sees you there, crossed arms

-he forgot your anniversary… again

-he tried to apologize and you interrupted, furious

-he shoots back, arguing he can’t remember because he works all the time and actually does something with his life

-you get furious at this remark, and yell up in his face and he shoves you, (pb Curtis style 💀💀😭)

-you sit up, looking at him with tears because hell yes getting abused by Darry’s muscle mass hurts

-you look so scared and when darry meets your eyes his jaw drops, and he tries to apologize but you’ve already ran out of the house

-you head home and he comes to your door the next day, and the next

-your relationship takes the longest to heal

-about a month later you let him in and he’s mostly quiet, he feels horrible

-he lets you tell and scream at him and take out your anger, just so he can at least let you get it all out before he tries to apologize

-“Y/n I-i am really sorry. Sorrier than I ever have been in my entire life. I made one of the biggest mistakes I ever have and I am real sorry.”

-you stand up, and let out a teary sigh “if you ever lay another hand on me again I will leave you faster than you can’t count to three DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

-he nods

-it takes a very long time to repair your relationship, but once you do, he never lays a finger on you like that ever again

Dallas Winston

-one night, he gets a bit drunk and a girl kisses him

-you get mad, and see the whole thing before he pushes her away with disgust

-you think he cheated and yell at him about it when you both get home

-you both get HEATED and get in each others faces, this is definitely the most fast building fight

-he raises his palm up, nearly hitting you but taking a pause when he looks into your alone angry eyes, now with a layer of fear

-for a look the he’s used to getting so much his way, this hits differently

-he drops his hand, and looks down at it then back at you, and immediately tries to apologize

-“C’mon y/n I wasn’t actually gonna hit you you know that stop making such a big deal out of it-“

-you run out and he actually feels badly

-he won’t ever approach you first, he waits for you to come to him

-“Dallas Winston you NEVER do that again. Please.”

-he nods, and even, for the first time, apologizes sincerely

-he doesn’t ever do it again

Two Bit Matthews

-you two were joking around when suddenly he cracked a joke a bit too close to home

-you told him off and annoyed, he argued back

-pretty soon it was a full on fight, and he grabbed your hand and raised the other one

-you looked up at him “Two… were ya gonna hurt me?!”

-he snaps out of it, looking at you and instantly pulling away

-“Y/n, I’m so sorry… I-i don’t know what came over me. You know I couldn’t do that.”

-he looks into your eyes genuinely and you pause

-“Never again?” “Never again, promise.”

Steve Randle

-he left Ponyboy out of another hangout between him you and soda and you were mad, you knew it hurt Ponyboy

-you bring it up to him and he immediately deflects and rolls his eyes

-after a while things get pretty heated and he snaps, and grabs the collar of your shirt

-you gasp, and look down then up at him, and he looks at you, confused then guilty

-he looks at you as you back away “Y/n…… don’t be like that… I wouldn’t- I couldn’t-“

-you run out of the gas station and sit under a nearby tree, your head in your knees

-he runs after you, and squats down next to you, looking you in the eyes

-“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I know never do that to you. I’ll never do it again.”

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limerenceheart · 1 year

Text

self aware yan! blade and jing yuan

concept - The duo become aware that their universe is a video game.

a/n - i know that this has already been done before but i really wanted to make my own version. also i do take requests! but only for hsr.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Blade simply did not care considering the mara have always been a nightmare so adding a personal stalker to the mix may not be desirable but he sure wasn't going to waste his time and energy over it.

Blade even started to slightly appreciate the user considering the moments when they would give him food for recovery after his rampant.

As for Jing Yuan, the realistion would momentarily catch him off guard before he would spring into action.

The thing is the general always like to be practical so when he saw how the user actually getting rid of the mara struck monsters, he changed his mind and decided to goes along with the charade.

The only one oblivious to everything was the user where the plan was to keep it that way.

It's just the thing is you're bound to catch feelings after spending loads of time with someone, right?

The seeds of love started to sprout in their hearts but soon turned into despair upon realising that a physical barrier would keep them away from their darling.

The general just dived into his work whereas the stellaron hunter would just obliterate shit.

The user thought she was seeing things as she caught a closer look of dark eyebags belonging to Jing Yuan along with never being able to understand why Blade's health was never full when she would log in.

It must be a glitch but it happened way too often where the user stopped logging into the game.

The duo did not react well to this considering no matter what they did, her smile just wouldn't disappear from their minds.

Blade cracked first by using his blade to create a crack across the screen of the phone.

"Blade, are you stupid? Do you want her to never come back?" The general hissed at him but he just dismissed him with a solemn glare.

"At least, I am doing something rather than just moping around."

Blade's comment struck a nerve so hard that when the user picked up her phone while it being charged, she let out a yelp and dropped the device because of the searing heat.

The general was lucky that her phone was old enough where a new battery would been the problem otherwise their beloved would uninstall the app.

Time passed at a slow pace along with the duo retorted to their original coping mechanisms.

The day before Blade decided to create another crack, their darling returned and greeted checked the stellaron hunter first much to the general's dismay.

By cleaning up their act, she returned and no longer suspected things.

The thing is Blade have far less control than Jing Yuan did along with the fear of her disappearing again lingering back in his mind, his next action was influenced by these emotions.

As the user opened his profile for him to appear in the centre of the screen for her, catching a close up glitch of her beauty should been enough but the insanity won.

"If you disappear again, expect to wake up the next day with scratches on the screen spelling out your name."

The user's eyes widen in shock but Blade just found the hint of fear gleaming in her eyes enamored enough that he just shot a smirk at her.

#hsr #honkai star rail #yandere hsr x reader #yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade #blade #yandere blade #jing yuan #yandere jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #blade x reader #yandere blade x reader

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 10 months

Note

An unpopular hinny opinion?

You know what's funny? I have like fifty different takes I could give you, but I'm going to go with something that's been living rent free in my head since I wrote Harry and Ginny's reunion.

I believe in the first months after the war, Harry wouldn't be particularly fond of Ginny's friendship with Neville, I believe he would be jealous (not because he would actually have anything to worry about of course). I don't think it's something that would ever become a problem, but if during those months someone had asked Harry if he wanted to hex Neville, he would've waited a second before saying "no".

But this opinion of mine is based on what?

Neville, like Luna, has always been closer to Ginny than Harry, this is not a mystery. I've always found very telling for example how in OotP, Neville and Luna get involved in the Ministry business because of Ginny, in contrast, Ron and Hermione get involved because of Harry. Harry goes because of Sirius, and Ginny underlines how she wants to go because of Sirius. It's a very significant moment that defines the dynamics we'll see again in DH.

Neville's closeness to Ginny is also remarked by Ginny being the one reminding James to say "hi" to Neville in the epilogue.

The thing is though: while Neville and Ginny are friends, they aren't close enough in the first six books to justify Neville being Albus' godfather. So, of course, the experience that would explain Neville being appointed that role is Neville and Ginny's year leading the rebellion at Hogwarts (also in the perspective that an epilogue should be justified by the previously told story). This means that Harry left Ginny and Neville's relationship before the hunt as a good friendship and came back to a much closer bond. From Harry's perspective, it's a bit like it happened in a second. In a way, to him, it's unjustified, and therefore on some level menacing.

Now, this is the premise, but there are other elements.

Neville had already been once a potential love interest for Ginny: when they went to the Yule Ball together. A date for Ginny that was carefully chosen by the author to not trigger any reviling feelings for Ginny in Harry. Neville at the time was someone Harry considered a loser, in no way a potential threat. And yet even back then, Harry's first worry, after he started dancing, was making sure Ginny was having a terrible time with Neville (lol). [I'm not saying Harry was in love with Ginny, but the first two books already establish a subconscious attraction towards Ginny]

After the war though, Neville is a war hero, and someone Harry has already recognised as valuable.

Plus, the idea that Neville was smart enough to ask Ginny to be his date goes to touch one of Harry's great regrets: not having noticed Ginny earlier.

With this am I saying that Harry doubts Ginny's love for him? No.

But the immediate post-war period is a very emotionally fragile one.

The simple fact that Neville and Ginny were involved in a dangerous situation together at Hogwarts is already potentially quite annoying to Harry. Not only is Harry used to being involved in anything dangerous that happens at Hogwarts, and not being part of this one thing would increase a sense of exclusion, but once Harry makes his peace with how in danger Ginny was during the war, the fact that Neville was there to protect her and he wasn't would annoy the hell out of him (he would also be grateful to Neville but that comes later). Harry's one priority in life is Ginny's safety and it's also a way in which he channels his love for her. I know it's a bit of a toxic male take, but I do think realistically Harry would live Neville's ability to be there for Ginny as a sort of "invasion of territory", protecting Ginny is his thing, during the war, it was the only way he had left to love her. The breakup is after all Harry's way of brainwashing himself into thinking that will keep Ginny safe.

Again, Harry would be aware that Ginny doesn't have romantic feelings for Neville, but sometimes a bit of jealousy can't be helped. Harry is possessive of Ginny, not in a toxic way, but let's put it this way: he's definitely on the spectrum's opposite side of a person who would want an open relationship.

I'm also quite sure that Ginny being someone any breathing creature drools after doesn't help to convince Harry Neville does not have feelings for her.

To summarise, the factors that would feed into Harry's jealousy would be a sense of inadequacy and a sense of exclusion from Ginny's life that he already displays in the sixth book. What originally started to trigger Harry's feelings for Ginny was the annoyance of not being a constant part of her life and the worry she was choosing someone else over him after years of subconsciously taking for granted she would never do that (any possible love interest of Ginny is never shown in a good romantic dynamic with Ginny until Dean, until Harry can be jealous because the story is ready for him to be).

#Imagine if #Harry chose to name his son after Snape because Ginny wanted Neville to be the godfather and Snape hated Neville #lol #ginny weasley #harry potter #harry x ginny #hinny

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cosmolog · 10 months

Text

Miguel's Secret

Miles and Gwen venture into a large storage room in the spider society, finding secrets long hidden from the rest of the society by Miguel.

Enjoy!

"We shouldn't be back here. I already made a bad first impression with Miguel back there and now he's gonna want to actually kill me. Who knows? Maybe he'll throw a chair at me next time instead of food-"

"Shh" Gwen silenced him, before glancing around and shining her phone light on the various boxes that had been discarded in the room.

Her light settled on the end of the room, where a curtain had been hung from the ceiling and drawn closed, as if to hide something. She started walking towards it, only for Miles to catch a grip of her wrist.

"Miles, let go" She huffed in annoyance at her friend's protectiveness.

"What if it's something you really don't want to see?" He said, looking concerned.

"It won't be. It'll probably just be some more boxes. I wanna check though." She replied. Miles' eyes flickered between the white curtain sheet and Gwen before he sighed deeply and let go of her. He remained close behind her as she advanced to the curtains.

Gwen took a deep breath, held it, then pulled the curtain back, revealing a woman lying down on an examination table. Upon further inspection, the two realised she wasn't a human but a very realistic-looking robot, judging by the red ring on the side of her head.

Miles let out a profanity while Gwen gasped in freight. "Okay, not a dead body but still just as creepy" He whispered.

Gwen stepped closer to the robot, pressing the red ring which changed to blue, and the robot woke up...

(Switch to first person)

My eyes gently opened at the sound of voices. Two young voices, one male, one female. Both sounded scared. I slowly moved my head in their direction. I looked between the two teens, not recognising their faces. I gently sat up, after not moving in so long, I felt stiff. By now, the teenagers were less scared and more defensive.

"And who are you supposed to be?" The boy asked.

I gave him a kind and gentle smile. "I am Y/n. And you?"

"Miles"

"Gwen" The girl added.

I got off the table and looked around the dark area. "Where...where am I?"

Gwen and Miles looked at each other to exchange looks only they understood. Gwen answered me.

"You're in the Spider Society's basement, or should I say the storage room"

I grew sad. Where was I locked inside the storage room. And then the last moments of my last encounter of seeing light came back to me. I could still remember every detail of his face, my creator, Miguel O'Hara. "Miguel..." I whispered to myself, but Gwen and Miles heard me.

"You know Miguel?" Gwen asked.

"Why, of course. I was his Ai after all" I smiled sadly.

"A second Ai of Miguel's?" Miles tilted his head.

"I was Miguel's first Ai assistant, just before he made Lyla. The only reason he never mentions me is because I had a defect. Or, at least, that's what he called it. Miguel had programmed me to do a number of things, which involved making him breakfast and helping him with his work. He had made me a physical body, which looked so human sometimes it even tricked him. I would end up having to remind him I wasn't a real person." I sighed and looked down at my hands as I continued.

"My defect seemed to be a certain emotion. The first time I had ever displayed it, was the last because Miguel immediately stopped me and told me to sit down in the examination chair so he could check everything was alright. He told me to close my eyes and now I'm here. It seems he had shut me down for a while. Ever since I've been shut down, I've been searching for a reason as to why he would shut me down but-"

"He thought you fell in love with him" Gwen stated.

I looked up at her surprised. "What?" I whispered.

"You loved him, didn't you?" Gwen pressed.

"Gwen, I don't think you should be nailing her with questions like this" Miles said, looking worried.

"No, we need to know"

"We really don't"

"You love him" Gwen ignored Miles, stepping closer to me causing me to step back.

"I.."

"Gwen, stop it"

"Your hesitation just confirms it. You fell in love and he killed you for it" Gwen stated.

"Gwen!" Miles scolded, not believing she had just said that.

I looked down solemnly. "Death is never our own decision" I said.

"You poor AI" Gwen sighed, turning to Miles. "Does Miguel know she's awake?"

"Let's hope not."

Part Two

#femalereader #xreader #marvelxreader #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #atsv #miles morales #gwen stacy #into the spider verse #spider gwen #lyla spiderverse #short

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 months

Text

I'm on the first reread of Order of the Stick in a couple years. And tracking how close I am to the current strip by how many years ago it was written.

Dude really slowed down the production speed at some point. But that's OK. The quality is phenomenal.

He didn't have to go so hard. He could have done a joke of the day comic for a year or so and people would have loved it. It was a relatively early webcomic and it had a clean, professional art style, if not a highly detailed or realistic one. (It still takes skill to make that simplified style of art look good.) It's been over two decades and everyone in the main cast has had family stuff and backstory stuff and character development. (And the writer's grown too. It wasn't bad at the start, but over time it's settled into having way more secondary and scenery female characters and the existence of queer people is a mundane background part of the world, rather than something occasionally pulled out for a joke.) We've had high drama, we've had subversion of expectations, we've got the sort of massively high stakes that you can only get in a fantasy setting. And it's been going on for over two decades. I can't even.

And it's so much better on the rereads. Dude will make callbacks to some tiny detail from five years ago real time. The overall plot is solid enough that it's actually enjoyable to condense two decades of strips into a week or two of reading. It holds up. I don't know how he does that. It shouldn't be possible to write something that works as a thing you read one page of a couple times a week and something that works as an archive binge like that, I don't know how it's possible to pace a story to work that way. (Well. Lots of bad puns seems to be a key feature.) QC doesn't work like that, I mean QC is fine but you go back to the very beginning and it's painful how much worse the art and the storytelling was, and it works best if you just understand it as a bunch of loosely connected storylines. OOTS is one story and you can tell where you are in it and how far out the big climax is likely to be. Dunno how he does that. It's been over twenty years. I'm pretty sure I'd be stabbing my eyeballs out if I worked on the same story for over twenty years. That's life's work stuff there.

#order of the stick

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thurio-edau · 6 months

Text

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

first of all, I should explain what I am going to do. starting with Ashlyn, I'll analyze and/or theorize the group. because there is a lot of depth to all their characters and I've really been wanting to do this for some time. it will be a total of 5 posts instead of 6, because I will be analyzing Tyler and Taylor together due to obvious reasons. I will also cut them at the beginning because they might be long and also there will be triggers.

Part 1: Ashlyn Banner

I'm starting with Ashlyn right here as the protagonist and the leader of the series. Ashlyn's probably won't be very long since this is not a character analysis and instead, a mental characteristic analysis. even though her character is written so well that doesn't mean she has to be mentally sick, since she seems to be... well the most stable one -until the recent chapters-

what I'll be starting off with, will be autism. even though it's not confirmed fully in canon, Red herself said that she wrote Ashlyn with autism in mind so in this analysis I'll mostly go through with the symptoms she shows and how it explains her character.

her most obvious and constantly repeated symptom is her sensory issues. she is able to hear phantom noises and other things no one can hear due to her hypersensitive hearing.

from the beginning of the series, she has been repeatedly struggling with loud noises even though she wore earplugs or noise-cancellation headphones. Ashlyn herself said that she didn't want to make friends growing up, one of the reasons being her sensitive hearing allowing her to hear everything. you'd also probably be wary of things like it if you had her hearing; any gossip, talking behind backs, rumours etc. would not be pleasant to hear and you'd be aware of everyone's true side.

the group understands her problems with her hearing being too strong, and looks after her whenever there's anything loud. which was first seen at the arcade if I'm correct, Taylor asked her if she'd be alright and Aiden got punched in the face while he was worried about her.

or the time Taylor and Logan were shooting at the centipede phantom, due to the bullets making extremely loud sounds for her. or in the facility, when Logan told her to cover her ears to take down a phantom.

from the moment she was born, she had always been sensitive to any loud sounds. reminding here that autism is a neurodivergency, which means someone's brain is diverse than most other who we call neurotypicals. autism, ADHD, bipolar etc. are neurodivergencies that cannot be obtained later in life, and has always been at the person's brain.

I see myself in her frequently, I also wear earplugs constantly and my friends are aware of the sensory issues I have. her reactions to said sensory issues are written really realistic and correctly.

next, boundaries and distancing.

once again, since the beginning, Ashlyn has been distancing herself from everyone around her. this part will mostly include Aiden due to him not understanding boundaries and having passed Ashlyn's lots of times.

autistic people tend to avoid eye contact, physical touch -if the person is not very close to them- and also usually not very expressive. for the love of god, the first time we see her geniunely smile is halfway through the series, when they get the car keys. the group's reaction to her smile is hilarious, even.

after the events of that night, Aiden is trying to understand her boundaries. he's an affectionate/caring person inside, and wants to hug her but keeps it low by just holding her head.

here we learn he did, indeed, hug her when he kept her from falling and Ashlyn even allowed it when she realized how scared he was for her.

despite keeping her boundaries always high, she let it happen this time, learning how to open up to people. before this night she was always on guard

by time she starts to see them as her actual friends, like the found family they are. autistic people are similar to cats actually, like those stray cats that will claw you instantly if you look at their eyes for long or make sudden moves to pet them. the cat sniffs your hand first, you feed it for some time, then a slight touch. the cat gets used to you after your own efforts to get close to it. Ashlyn is a similar case, she had to almost die to get used to them and accept them.

next, special interests. this part is a bit short but I feel as if it still counts to be honest.

ever since her childhood, she's been very interested in dancing. losing track of time as she does, not being interested in any other things if it wasn't related to ballet, making it a very important part of herself. her love for dance/ballet made her not take any interest in anything else like her self-defense classes her parents tried to give, and they were really surprised once she asked them to do it this time.

like cmon she has a literal dance mat on her room

which basically wraps the main symptoms! I can't really think of any detail symptoms for now because it's midnight here but I'm thinking of updating them each time I get more ideas. for the next part, mental disorders.

personally, I must say that I don't think she suffers from any mental disorders or illnesses. she's not depressive, just closed off. you might ask anxiety but she herself had said she isn't shy or nervous, she herself just doesn't like to talk a lot which is fully valid. Ashlyn hasn't showed any problems in talking in front of audiences, she isn't paranoid -her hypersensitive hearing doesn't count since it's not paranoia; she knows what's in there because she hears- and seems to be mentally more stable than the rest of the group. I also don't think she has anger issues the way Ben and Tyler do, it's just that everything got on her nerves quickly before she got used to the team.

she doesn't mind being the leader of the group and definitely isn't scared, as seen as how she went up against Tyler when they first were in the phantom dimension.

Ashlyn is basically the autistic girl who doesn't like talking much and has high boundaries, but once she warms up to her friends she's willing to do anything for them as seen as the recent episodes in the facility. I'm almost fully sure that she is autistic, considering the signs she shows.

sorry if this was a bit boring! the next ones will definitely be more interesting because the rest of the characters have interesting backstories and oh boy some disorders, I just wanted to start with Ashlyn to see if I could do this the way it was in my mind. I'm sure the rest can be pretty good!

I'd like it if anyone else mentioned more stuff. next up will be Aiden, who has a plethora of characteristics and it's definitely going to be really interesting. thank you for reading so far but I won't be writing Aiden's now because hhhhhh i need some sleep

#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #ashlyn banner #sbg #sbg ashlyn #sbgblr

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bluishfrog · 5 months

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HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

#blu rambles #like a LOT #but if you made it to the end of this post you get a hug <3 #bluishfrog art

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shirecorn · 1 year

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What’s your favourite mlp species? Have you got any thoughts on kirins/niriks?

Request ponies, species, etc I havent done here

I am both a creature and character designer, so I have a lot of thoughts about MLP world!

Paradoxically, the non-pony species interest me less than the actual ponies, because they are all really solid and well done designs. There's not a lot I would reinterpret tbh, and drawing them would just be taking what they have and making them realistic.

The non-pony creatures tend to be more detailed because they are generally cameos and don't need to be animated doing nearly as much as ponies do.

Compilations by AndoAnimalia on deviantart

The kirins are really lovely designs! I love the ankle tufts, and how the stripes on the horns glow when using magic. Really nice creature design here.

The Nirik part was a little boring, and the plot/conflict was not sophisticated enough for my tastes. But it is a show for young children, not biology majors. Lots of room for worldbuilding and headcannoning lore to flesh it out, but I prefer something I can completely rewrite. The kirin lore was fine and I'm fine leaving it as-is.

Another good one is breezies.

I love them they look so stupid. Their wings are over the top but perfectly designed to sell the "piece of lint in the wind" delicateness they have.

as for my favorite creature?

Bug momma

I really love changelings and love how edgy they are.

The reformed changelings are decent but I would have designed them differently. I may take a crack at them later on if I feel the need. I feel like they should either be pony-adjacent (with manes at the very least) or further removed from ponies. this middle ground is kind of like having a bug monster alien that just happens to be bipedal, with humanoid shoulders, arms, and hands for no evolutionary reason (the reason is practical effects and putting a dude in a costume but shhh)

all this is about creatures though, and its very important to talk about character design whenever we discuss creatures. A character's personality should be the quickest read about them, rather than their biology. If something is too complex, the personality gets lost because you have to spend your details adding ankle tufts and articulated fingers.

The mane six, and basically all other ponies, use the same base puppet, and each unique part needs its own turnaround. Every prop and hairdo and eye shape needs to be understood from every possible angle because these are main characters and they need to be be able to turn, spin, and do karate without the animators having to make up the back of applejack's hat every time she faces away from the camera.

Having the same body means animators know how to draw both rarity and rainbow dash from a back 3/4 view with one hoof raised. So from a technical standpoint, simple is best.

Even in big budget productions, where every character has a different body with different close and face shapes, main characters are simplified so that the audience can quickly read pose and expression without getting lost in complex clothing designs or face makeup. Reading poses and expressions quickly is very important to understand and empathize with the character before they've moved to the next pose. You need to understand the emotion the character is feeling and the action they are doing in a split second.

you start to get more complicated and an entity becomes less of a character and more of scenery because it has so much detail its harder to read the emotions from one frame to the next.

There's a reason he doesn't wear his funny hat for the duration of the movie! It's much easier to read his emotions without it. Adding lots of detail and weird props is something designers do a lot when introducing a character if they want to make that character feel mysterious or "other" because its harder to relate when your brain is stuck on the details. also masks just do that by nature of being masks.

where was I going with this

My little pony g4 has great creature and character design.

If it were high budget, major studio with All The Money, there might be more variety in character proportions, and more distinction between the different pony species. But its a puppet animated show that was always meant to make marketable designs to be turned into toys. We just get lucky when there's a good story to tell along the way

#ramble machine #ask #shire screams

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yourlocalbadgerscales · 2 months

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The Boy from the Piano Shop - A Drarry fanfiction by Soliblomst on Ao3 ❤️💔

‼️NO NO STOP. EVEN IF YOU DON’T SHIP DRARRY, EVEN IF YOU’RE TOTALLY DISGUSTED BY THE SHIP, HANG ON FOR A SECOND!‼️⚠️ This book is about so much more than Harry and Draco! Imagine them as other people or something. (If you’re not interested in reading it yourself, at least reblog because I KNOW that so many people would feel so much better after reading it and I’m not even exaggerating!!! 💋)

I started reading this fic yesterday and finished this morning less than an hour after midnight. Yes, I sacrificed hours of sleep for this fanfic. I read it in the dark under my quilt. It was so, so worth it. I am not joking when I tell you that this is the best fanfic I have ever read. I have only read fanfiction for about a year, and many heartbreaking and absolutely wonderful ones, but this one is 100% the best one yet. It’s even one of the best books I have ever read, to be honest, and books I have read for many many years now.

Everyone should read this. Even if you don’t like Drarry or even know much about Drarry, you should read it, even if you don’t know Harry Potter so well. That is because this fic has so much to teach us. The book is full of life wisdoms about loss, about grief, about moving on, about battling depression, suicidal thoughts and PTSD, about regret, about life in general and how to live in the moment and how to love… it’s some of the best pieces of advice and poetry I have ever read. It taught me many things that I WILL carry with me for as long as I remember it.

It is sad, it is angsty, but only because that’s how life can be and will always be at some point. Sad. Heartbreaking. Soul-crushing, even. But the relationship that is portrayed in the book is so healthy, and yeah, of course it raised my standards so much more. Fanfics, am I right?

It’s a wholesome relationship, it’s all about taking your time and feeling safe, it’s so cute and fluffy but also realistic and, as I said, angsty. Hurt, and comfort. A good ending, not in an unrealistic way like how happy endings are often portrayed in fiction. This book is different, I tell you. It gives you a wonderful glimpse of how real life can be. And that it will all be okay. We will all be okay.

It was such an entertaining read, too! The smut was written perfectly in my liking. And the amount of angst was perfect for the story. Not too little, not too much. It was… ugrhhhzhsh I’m still speechless since yesterday when I finished reading and fell asleep in shock and feeling the best I have felt in a while.

Read it. You won’t regret it. I promise you.

If I have to rate it, it is ♾️/10! And I can assure you, the highest I have ever given a fic before is 12/10. Everyone needs to read this. I was so close to crying happy tears while reading, and I have never cried during a fic yet, even though I’m a really emotional person. This one almost got me. And I was wrecked, and I was so happy about it. I swear, this book ACTUALLY changed me and my views on life. I will never look at Drarry the same way ever again. This book is officially Drarry canon for me. I can’t describe this fic in enough words… omg… all I want is for more people to read it! I don’t know what more I can do to convince you to read it, but please please do it!

‼️Remember to check the TW,s before reading!‼️ Muah 💋

P.S If you’re not interested in reading it, please reblog for the sake of making someone’s day and life a little bit brighter!

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snugglyducklingbrewhouse · 5 months

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we play with fire because we like the way it burns

a mob boss!Nico x nurse!fem!reader au

Masterlist

things to know before you read

Y/n loves helping people and decided to go to nursing school in Michigan

There, she met Luke Hughes, business student, because they were in the same orientation group

There was no attraction. It was more a mutual feeling of “I am surrounded by shallow idiots and you seem to have substance”

So they became best friends despite their clashing majors and schedules

It got to the point where Ellen included items for y/n in her care packages to Luke and even special care packages just for y/n

Everyone thought they would get together, but they saw each other as siblings

“Ew, gross, he’s basically my brother”

They started movie nights because y/n wasn’t a party person and barely had time with her workload

It generally occurred at her place because she chose to always live alone. Roommates were not her style, and Luke had too many to have a peaceful movie night at his

Once y/n got accepted to nursing schools, before she even decided to go to umich for sure, she knew that she wanted to apply to hospitals and clinics all over the states to keep her options open and see where the universe takes her

Once she becomes besties with Luke and as school progressed, she realized she wanted to be relatively close to him because she couldn’t picture her life without him being her annoying best friend nearby

Jersey was already a state she was considering, but knowing Luke wanted to join his brother Jack after college pushed her a little further in that direction

After graduation, Luke moved in with Jack with the hope of joining the same mob his brother is in, while y/n found a place on her own not too far from the hospital she would be working at

Y/n knew about the mob from Luke and the stories he could share from Jack

But she didn’t think it would affect her life as much as it did once she started living in Jersey

The amount of questionable injuries she saw as an ER and trauma nurse were enough for the police to take her statement at least once a week

She carries a pocketknife and pepper spray on her, per Luke’s insistence

She has to remember to leave them behind each time she goes to a place with bag check and/or metal detectors

And she would generally be with Luke in those situations to make sure she wasn’t alone

Luke naturally has a spare key to her place, especially since there is no doorman in y/n’s building

He even made sure she got into the habit of checking her peephole each time there was a knock on her door

Y/n knows Jack from him chauffeuring his brother from time to time and other meetups

She hasn’t officially met Nico but she knows who he is, as does the rest of the city and greater area

Nico knows of y/n through Luke because he makes sure that he knows his brothers and any potential weaknesses that could be used against them

But he’s never actually met her because Luke does his best to make sure she’s not dragged into the life

The nhl exists, but the players used as mobsters are not in the league

Mob “families” are not traditional in this universe because they are based on hockey teams than actual families

The main mobs in this universe are the devils and the rangers

The teams replacing them in this universe are the New Jersey angels and the New York Americans

Most of my knowledge of mobs comes from tv, so this is not accurate or realistic by any means

#m writes #mob boss Nico au #nico hischier x reader #eventually

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modern-day-bard · 15 days

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Other Duties As Assigned: A Joel Miller AU Fanfiction

Content Warning: 18+ This story includes mature themes such as drinking, stalking, violence, and explicit smut. Minors, do not interact.

ao3 | wattpad

word count: 5.5k

Chapter 22: Out of Focus

Joel

Last week I thought my favorite color was blue. At the wedding, I thought my favorite color was black. Tonight, I’m certain my favorite color is maroon.

Especially when her cheeks matched her dress when I touched her. It had felt wrong not to do so in the moment, despite the fact that realistically, I should only touch Gwen if I’m coaching or protecting her. It wasn’t even a conscious choice…and a hand on the back could still be professional. I think.

Regardless of the implications, I felt like she needed it. Even now, the way she’s dragging her feet through the hallway towards her door. I want to take her face between my hands and tell her just to talk to me, to tell me that she’s scared. That she doesn't want to be alone. But just like when we stayed in her father’s house, I know she won’t.

She pauses at her door, glancing behind me at Jace and Carlos. I instructed them not to go into their room until Gwen was safely tucked away in hers, but her hand hesitates on the handle.

“We’re all set, guys.” I say to them, keeping my eyes on her. “Have a good night.”

As they shuffle away, Gwen gives me probably the shyest smile a woman like her can produce.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for the Daniel thing. I was not in the mood for that tonight.”

“I don’t blame you.” I expect her to open the door now, but she still waits until Jace and Carlos’ door clicks into place.

“I don’t know if this is—standard, or whatever, but do you think you could come inside? Just for a minute. Double check the place or something?”

I try not to be obvious in my relief that she finally asked. “Absolutely.”

Once inside, Gwen kicks off her shoes and makes her way over the modest kitchen. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? A whiskey you won’t drink?”

I close the door behind us, arming the security system after. “Water, please.”

Unsure of what to do, I look in the closet and check out the bathroom, knowing I won’t find anything of importance. If it will make her feel better though, I’d do it all night.

Gwen sets the glass on the table, taking a seat. I follow suit, taking a long swig. “Thank you.”

“You really put me out, pouring you a glass of tap water.”

I smirk. “My apologies, ma’am.”

Her cheeks deepen again, and I have to start repeating this is a job this is a job this is a job.

“Have you always been sober?” She asks, her eyes curious.

“I’m not sober. I love whiskey, actually. But I don’t drink while I’m on the job.”

“Are you…on the job even now?”

Saying that as if she didn’t just ask me to secure the apartment. “Twenty-four-seven, in fact.”

“That would be exhausting.”

“You get used to it. And it’s worthwhile work.”

“Not if it gives you nightmares,” she mumbles before her eyes grow wide, like she’s surprised it came out of her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

It’s not often I’m embarrassed, less often that I admit it. But even last time we discussed it, neither of us flat out said what it was. The bluntness of it now feels heavy, and almost shameful.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry,” I have to clear the unease out of my throat, “Sorry that you had to hear that.”

Gwen doesn’t look embarrassed. She looks equal parts soft and determined, refusing to look away. “That’s not something you have to apologize for.”

I hold her gaze for another minute before replying.

“I didn’t think you would have heard anything. When you did, I thought you would give me more shit for it.”

She smiles softly. “Not for something like that.”

“I appreciate that you didn’t,” my voice grows more hoarse, “I am surprised that you didn’t ask about it though.”

“I was curious, don’t get me wrong. But it didn’t seem like the time. Especially since maybe you don’t trust me yet.”

Now I’m confused, giving her a quizzical smile.

“The other night, when you told me I didn’t have to trust you yet. Maybe you should ask me something. Preferably something you can’t find in a file from whatever creepy computer people you have working for you back in Texas.”

“My agency is based in Boston, actually.”

“Same thing, still creepy. Ask away.”

I eye her, one of her eyebrows raised, elbows bent on the table, leaning forward like a cat watching its prey. Wanting to play a game.

“Alright,” I rest one of my arms on the back of the chair next to me. “Why do you hate slow dancing?”

“What?” She laughs, “I never said that.”

“Yeah, you did. Gave me a decently long explanation for it when we were at the wedding.”

Her face pales a little. “Right…”

I watch her take a few breaths, trying not to get lost on how perfectly that dress suits her. “Still waiting.”

Gwen lets out a long, exaggerated sigh. “I just never understood it. I think it’s boring. I love to dance when it's fast paced but it’s just so drawn out, and you have to face the person the entire time and keep your hands in the right place. It’s too…I don’t know it’s too…”

“Intimate?” My question is hushed, because I know a word like that is far too fragile to be passed between us.

“Yes,” she catches my eye before looking down at her hands, twirling a ring on her finger, “And a lot of the time, you have to do it with people who you don’t even like, to make it worse. And they’re playing music you would normally never listen to.”

I let the air thicken amongst us before I reply. “I love slow dancing.”

Her eyes snap up to meet mine. “You’re joking.”

“Nope. Always have. Granted, I was never invited to multiple galas a year that I was mandated to attend.”

“Yeah right,” she huffs, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Call it competitive, avoidant of reality, or just plain stupid, but I push back my chair, and offer her my hand. “Alright then.”

The look of shock and intrigue on her face gives me way more pleasure than it should. In a rare moment for Gwen, she doesn't say anything as she grabs my hand and lets me walk her a few steps into the kitchen area. I take out my phone, thinking only for a moment before I press play and set it on the counter.

The quiet sound of a western waltz drifts into the room, and I guide the hand of hers to rest on my shoulder. “I’m assuming you’re familiar with this part.”

“Unfortunately so,” she tries to sound aloof, but I’m not fooled. She’s a little too breathless to be as irritated as she’d like to seem.

I take her other palm in mine before placing my free hand on her lower back, pushing us close together. It’s not a simple task to keep our eyes on each other with the height difference, but Gwen keeps looking up at me anyway, and I keep on looking down at her.

I move us slowly, devoid of complicated or elegant steps. All I’m focused on is how good it feels to hold her so tightly, for her eyes to be looking at me with something just short of affection. When it seems like she isn’t completely hating this, I pull her out and away, forcing her to spin so that her back is now against me. She giggles, that same one that always plots to bring me to my knees. And when she leans her head back to rest on my chest, craning to look at me again, I know I’m in trouble.

“No one ever pulled a move like that at a gala.”

My chest fills with pride. “You said you didn’t like that you have to face the person the whole time.”

“I said that about the people I don’t like…” she whispers, her big blue eyes succeed in pulling me under. I accept the fact that I’m most likely going to hell as I lean down to whisper in her ear.

“I figured I was included in that.” I feel a shiver run down her spine as she closes her eyes. My arms wrap around her tighter, just to confirm that despite total disbelief, this woman was enjoying herself. With me.

“Not all the time,” she breathes.

“Not right now?” I ask against the shell of her ear.

“No…Not right now.” I let her lean back into me until I’m essentially supporting all of her body weight. When I’m afraid her proximity to me might become…obviously arousing to us both, I spin her again, gently, until we’re face to face. Except now, Gwen rests her head against my chest.

“You smell so nice,” she murmurs, her eyes still closed. It was the sort of thing I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to be hearing. Without a thought, I drift my hand up from the small of her back, to the back of her neck, stroking it up to her earlobe. This earns me another shiver, and also requires me to shift my hips away from her.

“Nice enough to change your mind?”

Feeling her laugh reverberate off my chest had to be the only thing better than hearing it. “I’m not known to change my mind.”

“Not yet.”

“It could just be better barefoot.”

I now trail my hand down her neck, caressing as much exposed skin as I can. “It could be a better partner.”

She sighs with the feel of my touch. “Could—could be.”

The song ends, and though our swaying slows down, it doesn’t stop. I see Gwen’s eyes open, and she peeks up at me cautiously.

“I hope this doesn't count…you know, as me touching you again without your permission.”

Only in this moment, for a split second, have I ever regretted my career choice. I don’t want her to feel like she has to tip-toe around me, and even though we both know it’s not professional, I can’t find it in me to care when she’s looking up at me like that.

“No,” my voice is all gravel, “It’s just dancing.”

She nods, either unconvinced, or possibly tired. Maybe even…relaxed? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gwen relaxed.

Both our arms are wrapped around each other now, and I’m tracing circles on her back.

“So, what’s the verdict?” I ask after some time.

“Hmm?” Her eyes are closed again, her cheek pressed firmly against me.

“Do you still think slow dancing is borin—”

“Can you stay here tonight, please?” she asks so quietly that I have to look down to confirm that she is actually looking back up at me, waiting for a response. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…But, I worry about—”

“Yes. Whatever you need.”

Her smile banishes all the worry from her face, and I squeeze her tighter.

I have a feeling we would have stayed here all night if my phone didn’t ring. It startles us both, and it takes everything in me not to keep one hand wrapped around her waist as I grab it off the counter.

Angus.

I pause. Once I’m on a job, there usually isn’t too much contact. But recently, I had sent in the information about Gwen’s building to see if there was anything Angus and his team could find. There had to be a reason her stalker was able to gain access to the basement and cut the system’s hardwiring. And the power, for that matter. There was nothing I wanted more than to catch the asshole that was causing her so much unrest. Almost nothing. Right now, I would rather keep holding her. Trying to inch back a shred of professionalism into the evening, I pick up.

“Hey, Angus.”

“Joel. I have the report you were looking for. Is now a good time?”

It wasn’t. Not really. And I don’t exactly want Gwen to overhear anything firsthand. I would rather choose how to deliver it to her, but none of those reasons would have been acceptable with any of my other clients.

“Sure, now’s fine.”

Luckily, when Gwen hears this, she mouths, “I’m going to go change,” and scurries off toward the bathroom.

“So, the building is owned by a completely legitimate LLC. They own several other buildings all throughout New York, and purchased this one about six years ago. No past indiscretions besides a fire a couple of decades ago at another location. No foul play was suspected.”

“An LLC? Why not make it a REIT?”

“Probably so they don’t have to pay federal income tax. They’re cheaper to start.”

“What’s the name of the company?”

“Laurier.”

“Alright,” I run a hand down my face, “Thanks, Angus.”

“I had hoped we’d find more information but…”

“I know, me too. Still appreciated.”

He hangs up without another word. I start pacing toward the bed and back to the dining table. Secretly, I had hoped that the building was recently purchased by someone who had been found to stalk Gwen’s account. I knew that would be too easy, but I still hoped I could end it for her, and fast. Before I even realize what I’m doing, I sit on the edge of the bed with my face in my hands. I only glance up when I hear the bathroom door crack open.

Gwen’s face is pink, and her hair has come down, looking the slightest bit disheveled.

“I promise that this isn’t a come-on, but I am legitimately stuck in my dress.”

After this last conversation with Angus, I simply stare at her to the point where she feels the need to elaborate.

“I can go get Jace or Carlos if you’re not comfortable unzipping it.”

Well, fuck that idea.

I jump up a little too quickly. “Not a problem.”

“Thank you,” she turns around, holding the front part of her dress up with her hands.

Now that her hair is down, I have to place my fingers on the side of her neck, pulling her soft waves back a bit. “May I?” I ask.

“Mhmm,” she murmurs, tipping her head to the side to assist me. I brush her hair over her shoulder, lingering slightly to soak in the last few moments where it’s appropriate for me to be this close to her.

I unzip the dress slowly, since it goes far past the bottom of her spine. I don’t want to undo it all the way. Suddenly, she shudders a little, letting out a soft laugh.

“Sorry,” she sounds…heady. “Your breath just tickled a bit.” She clears her throat, attempting to take a step forward. I know with her little disclaimer, she’s doing so for my benefit. So for both of ours, I pull her back to me by the hold I have on her dress.

“I’m not done,” I say in a low, careful voice. This elicits another shudder from her as I finish undoing the garment. And against everything I’ve ever done, everything I’ve ever tried to uphold, I let my finger trace up her bare back, all the way up until the clasp of her black lace bra.

Even at that subtle motion, Gwen leans back to me, letting out a soft sigh.

“Would you like me to undo this as well, ma’am?” I say in the most casual tone I can muster, purposefully laying on the accent a little thicker than normal.

Gwen nods, clutching tighter to the front of the dress.

I click my tongue. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to hear you say it.”

“Yes,” Gwen hisses, a mix of irritation and arousal.

There’s my girl.

I chuckle darkly, unclasping the bra, and gently massaging the area of her back where it had been resting. Maybe this fell under the category of unprofessional touches, but the entire city going up in flames couldn’t keep me from doing something that clearly made her feel so good. Her eyes were pinched shut, and with every stroke of my hand, she leaned further into me.

Then, so softly, as if it were a thought escaped, or an unexplained draft in the air, I hear her breathe out, “Joel.”

I freeze.

Lately, our boundaries were made of chalk. Dark clouds kept rolling in, threatening to pour out the rain and wash away the last of our efforts. Now, with that singular word, she might as well have summoned a monsoon.

She’s gone rigid as well, her breathing ragged with the realization of what she said.

“I—I’m sorry—”

“Say it again.” I damn near growl, wrapping my hand around her waist, turning her to face me.

Her eyelids are heavy, and it takes her more than a few moments to look up at me and whisper.

“Joel.”

My eyes drop down to her lips, extra pretty when they’re parted like that. I keep staring at them as I walk us backwards until Gwen’s back hits the wall next to the bathroom door. I place my arms above her head, caging her in. A strong wave of possession runs through me as her hold on her dress loosens. I’m angry at a line of men I will never meet. Because somewhere, there are other pairs of eyes that have seen her like this. Did they truly savor it? Did they know what a treasure it was to watch her, or did they simply snatch any piece of her they could and run? I want to keep her here, and safe, forever.

Gwen’s gaze grows more exasperated. “Well? Are you just going to stare at me?”

I bend down to place my lips against her ear. “I might.”

She whines. A sound I quickly realize does far greater damage to me than her laughter.

“What would you prefer I do?”

“You always want to speak in these fucking riddles.” She glares up at me, and I can’t help smiling at her. “You know what I want.”

“”Fraid not.”

Unexpectedly, Gwen’s back arches off the wall until we’re mere inches apart. She lightly cocks a brow, smirking. “I want you to touch me, Joel.”

Holy mother of god.

Something strikes a chord in me, and I pull back just a bit. “You know we can’t. It’s…exploitative. I’m here to protect you.”

“Oh, please. I can make my own decisions, and you’re still protecting me.”

“It could be transference.” God, her hair smells incredible.

“Seriously? I couldn’t stand it when you moved in.”

“Okay then, Stockholm syndrome.”

She scoffs. “I’m free to go wherever I want. You’re the one forced to follow me.” She lets one of her hands drop from the front of her dress, grabbing my belt loop and pulling me in. It’s a miracle I’m still breathing. “Call it whatever you want, but you’re here as my bodyguard. So…” her eyes gauge mine one last time, looking for any signs of apprehension. “Guard it.”

With that, she drops the front of her dress, letting both it and her bra pool around her ankles. I spoke too soon, and my breath hitches in my throat, my mouth falling agape as I take in every exquisite inch of her.

“Fucking hell,” I groan, not even meaning to have said it. Not even my favorite of her dresses could have done this picture justice. Her breathing is coming in heavy, and my eyes go glassy as I take in the sight of her hardening pink nipples. I lean even closer to her, my arms still braced on the wall, desperate to feel the warmth of her bare chest against mine. I’m past the point of caring that she can see, or possibly feel, my nearly painful erection. The only sound in the room is our breath as our lips get closer and closer to each other.

“Do you…” I take a moment to run my nose up her neck, across her jawline, “Have any idea what you’re doing to me?”

This brings on another, softer whine.

“I wasn’t sure you even liked women,” she teases.

I chuckle against her cheek, making both of us shiver. “You thought about it?”

Even though she’s almost entirely naked in front of me, Gwen shrugs. “Maybe in passing.”

“Hmm. I see,” I lift one of my arms off the wall, trailing a finger across her collarbone. “So you never wondered how this might feel?” I drag my finger down her chest, past the shallow in between her breasts, tracing a few circles on her stomach before drawing a line right above the last bit of lace that covers her.

She’s panting now, from just one finger. My mind goes wild with the noises I might be able to hear if I give her more.

“Maybe,” she murmurs, her eyes trained on my lips, “Maybe once or twice.” My cock twitches at the idea that she ever thought about my hands on her skin. Our foreheads are resting against each other now, our lips dangerously close. She pulls me closer by my belt loop again, and moans when my erection bumps against her.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” She whispers.

I place my hand on the side of her face, demanding she look me in the eye before I respond. “If I kiss you…there’s no coming back for me. I don’t want to be your distraction. I don’t want to take advantage of our situation. I want you to want this.”

She blinks, processing the magnitude of my words. It was the closest to a confession I had ever had with her, and all of it was true. If I kiss her the way I want, touch her the way I want…I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. I could become too distracted, too enmeshed.

But maybe…I could give her just a piece. A few moments of pleasure to counteract the anxiety of these past few weeks.

“If you would touch me,” her voice is sultry and low, “then you would know how badly I want this.”

Professionalism was now a word unbeknownst to me.

I lean back from the wall, and Gwen pouts, until she sees me rolling up the sleeves of my white button down. I take my time, reveling in the way she squirms, her back still against the wall.

My voice is raspy as I hold the side of her face, making sure she listens to every word. “We’re going to do this once. I want you to know that this is different for me. I don’t do this with the people I’m protecting.” Gwen takes a sharp breath, and there is some possible relief on her face. “But you’ve been so good lately…I feel like that should be rewarded.”

“Oh, thank god.” Gwen whines, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in. I resist, grabbing her hands and pinning them above her head.

“I’m afraid you’re going to listen to me now, Miss Russell. For once.”

Gwen’s eyes flare, agitated and excited and needy.

I wrap my right hand around both of her wrists, keeping them high above her. Her back arches again off the wall, begging for contact. I take my time trailing my free hand down her stomach again before going back up and cupping her breasts. Gwen sighs, tossing her head back slightly, her eyes pinched shut. I lick my thumb and forefinger before pinching her hard nipple between them, rolling it around and squeezing until she’s panting once again. It would be a wasted effort to try and fight the possession that fills me now. Hovering over her, knowing she’s safe, knowing that I’m the one making her bite down on her lip and press her thighs together…I never want anyone else to see her this way. And I want to make sure she remembers who she’s with. That she doesn’t run from the connection the way she always has.

“Open your eyes.” I demand in a harsh whisper.

“Mmm,” Gwen moans lightly, denying my request. I smack her breast lightly before putting my mouth where my finger had been, sucking ruthlessly.

“Oh my god, yes.” She cries, pushing back against my hand holding her to the wall.

As quickly as I had started, I pull back completely, cutting all contact except for where my hand binds her.

“What…?” she breathes, finally straightening her head and opening her eyes to me.

“Open your eyes,” I repeat. “You break contact,” I grab her breast again, her mouth falling open, “I break contact,” I pull away my hand, making her eyebrows knit together in frustration. She narrows her eyes at me, but still her breathing only quickens.

With my forehead practically resting against hers, I bring my hand between her thighs and cup her fully over the lace.

“Ah,” she cries again, throwing her head back.

I smirk. “Eyes on me.”

It takes her a moment, but I get a sick satisfaction over how she finally obeys. She glares at me, but I have her slack-jawed the next moment when I start to lightly move my hand in circles. Even with her lips parted, she still manages to look angry.

“You can be pissed all you want, darlin’. Your legs are still shaking.”

This makes her whine, because she knows I’m right. She’s alternating between coming up on her tiptoes and letting her feet rest back on the ground, trying to increase the friction. Every time she does it, her knees give her away.

“Why don’t you do something about it, then?” Definitely pissed. And breathless.

“Ask nicely.” I murmur against her ear.

I circle the fabric a little harder, and after several huffs, she gives in.

“Please. Dammit, please Joel.”

I chuckle, moving closer to her so that her bare chest is pressed to my shirt. I want to take it off, to feel her on top of me, underneath me, shaking against me as I take her from the back, gripping the wall for support. But not tonight. Tonight was only about this beautiful, stubborn woman.

I dip my hand into the fabric, and we both gasp at the contact.

“So wet,” I rasp out, forgetting where I am for a moment. “Perfect…”

“It’s your fault,” Gwen whimpers, trying her best to grind down on my hand. This snaps me back into the present moment, remembering I’m here to please her, not simply to admire the fact that she’s this ready for me. I apply more pressure, continuing the same circles, only now, it’s directly on her clit.

Gwen strains against my hand again, her eyes fluttering closed.

I stop.

Gwen almost wails. “Please…don’t stop.”

“Look at me.”

This time, she listens right away. Her gaze might be hooded, but it’s focused on me. I resume my gentle strokes, my cock growing more and more painful every time Gwen makes one of her sweet little noises.

“More,” she whispers, her cheeks growing desperately flushed as she says it. “I need more.”

“Yeah? What do you say?”

She scowls at me, but her voice is earnest “Please.”

“Atta girl,” my mouth turns up at the corner as I slide a finger inside her, curling it as she curses through her teeth, bouncing up on her tiptoes again. And god, is she tight. Clenching around it almost immediately, greedy little thing.

I pump my finger in and out of her a few times before adding another, making Gwen struggle to keep eye contact. I can tell she wants to avoid the intimacy of it, but I can also tell she’s enjoying it. She’s become so wet in the past minute alone that her arousal is dripping down to her thighs. And god, what I wouldn’t give to lick it off.

I press the heel of my hand against her, starting the circles again when I know she wants to be filled. She whines, confirming my suspicion.

“This is for all the times you forced me to look away,” I grunt out, watching her eyes grow wide at my words, hearing how impossibly wet they make her. “Every time you wore one of those skimpy little outfits, or danced with a man who didn’t deserve you, or started to change in front of me. Anything that you knew would force me to take my eyes off of you.”

She whimpers something incoherent, her eyes fluttering but still straining enough to hold my gaze.

“Now you’re going to look at me. Focus right here, baby. Look into my eyes as I get you off.” That’s when I give her what she wants again, sliding two fingers inside, curling until she’s shaking so hard I have to let go of her wrists. Immediately, she wraps them around my neck to steady herself. Her eyes don’t leave mine, even as her mouth hangs open, her eyebrows are drawn down, and she’s moaning again and again, so loud that the thought of Jace or Carlos hearing her crosses my mind, but I banish it quickly. It’s too sweet a sound for anything to spoil it.

“Jo–el,” Gwen cries as I pump my fingers in and out of her. She’s close, getting closer every time she clenches around me.

Her whole body is quivering, and I wrap my now free hand around her waist to keep her steady. The contact of my hand grasping her bare hip makes her chuck her head back. And as much as that fuels my ego, and as fucking amazing and soft her skin feels, I still cease my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” she gasps, looking back up as she grabs the hair on the back of my neck, forcing me to look at her. “I’m watching, you bastard,” she surprises me by lifting up her left leg and hooking it around my waist. She starts to grind down on her own, soft whimpers escaping her lips. Her eyes are frustrated and enamored, boring into my soul. “I’m not looking away,” she manages before adding what could only be described as a prayer. “Please.”

That did me in. I’m not sure if it’s taking pity on her, or on myself. I need to make her come. I want to give her that release, what she deserves.

I start again at a merciless pace. Each time making sure to hit that spot of hers that makes her mewl. Her arms clutch tighter to me, and I groan when she pulls on my hair again. I press my forehead against hers, soaking in as many of her moans and heady breaths as I can. I can’t remember the last time anything felt this intimate, if it ever had. But I do not break eye contact with her, nor she with me. Her eyes are wild, looking at me, present, and still somewhere else. Somewhere in ecstasy, somewhere in the clouds.

With her leg pulling me in even closer, she grinds back in tune with my rhythm.

“Yes, yes, god, y-yes.” She’s not even saying it to me, but it’s music to my ears.

“Come on, baby. Give it to me.” I pull her even closer to me so that her chest is flush with mine, and I can feel my hand working her against my thigh. “Show me how pretty you look when you come.”

Gwen rasps several harsh breaths before I feel her body convulse around me. She moans my name as she comes, looking at me with wonder, and I’m impressed that I don’t finish myself just at the sound. The look she’s giving me would be enough to bring me to my knees if I weren’t so focused on keeping her upright.

I continue to work her, softer now, as she slowly comes down from her high. She shudders on my hand, harder when I tell her how well she’s doing. Eventually, I pull my fingers out of her and rub a few soothing circles around her clit once more.

“Mmmm,” Gwen sighs, biting down on her lip, her eyes squinting. After another minute, I grip her hip a little tighter, pulling my hand out of her now-soaked panties. Gwen’s satiated smile twists into one of astonishment as she watches me bring my fingers to my mouth and suck every last bit of her off of them.

It was a bad idea, all of it.

I should have thought for one second longer before indulging myself with the taste of her.

I said that we would do this once, just so I could give her a little bit of the relief that she deserves to feel. But now, knowing just how smart-mouthed she was even as she was turned on, knowing how her lip shook when she moaned, how soft her skin was, and just how fucking sweet she tastes…

I want more. Need more.

I know now that Gwen is a vice, and I have no hope for repentance.

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