#i work 12 hours again
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how has your day been frens? :’)
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life trying to force me to take a break by shutting down my laptop while i'm in the middle of work, as if i'm not going to just turn it back on and go right back to what i was doing
#vu talks shit#i had a friend over yesterday so i feel human again#i think i deserve to go back to working 12+ hours a day again#as a treat#crow's gonna see this and tell me to take a break i can fucking feel it in my bones#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bbgirl (gnc)
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Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!
It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!
I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!
See you then!
#i still have to finish book 4#soooo iiiiiii will do that... this week...#really trying to be done with it but this one is taking so long for all the changes!#hoping to have an update on that soon too#might have taken on a few too many projects#but yay! return!#yippee!!!#i would say sorry its been so long but theres no way it could have been shorter and other people are gone way longer#i tried to leave things on a nice note so itd only be missed for wanting more#and not missed for feeling abandoned#ok! time to get up for another day of work! really need some things off my list so my days can be like.#9/10 hours instead of 12 LOL#im so tired. im legitimately extremely overworked it's a problem#ok bye back to work for me#return#hiatus stuff#time and time again#announcement#use this post to talk about how excited you are and make guesses and shower me with praise :-)[-[#LMAO
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"nobody wants to work anymore" but a low paying casual retail job wants you to travel to a capital city you don't live in, which is a considerable distance and time travelled from you (when you actively have a branch of this shop in your LOCAL shopping centre, 15mins down the road); for a group interview assessment centre. they then make you CONGA LINE into the said group interview with party poppers and streamers. like ma'am. I don't care how "ironic hipster millennial and 90s nostalgia" and "life of the party" this brand is supposed to be. but I ain't conga lining into this interview like a fucking clown. fuck some hiring managers and HR depts, honestly.
#life#about me#shut up ilona#ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes lol#ilona's work thoughts#ilona's work dilemmas#ok i know i wrote a post on this a while ago but hopefully this'll go further lmao#and also i know it was 10 years ago but i still cant get over how embarrassing this fucking was#and then i got understandably rejected for 'not being bubbly enough'#like i came here for a JOB INTERVIEW not streamers and a fucking conga line#which is what this was experience was like since you shared the bistro of miranda rsl (a southern suburb of sydney) with 100 other applican#and your group was made up of like 8 to 12 people (i think mine was 10 maybe??]#again sydney is up to an an hour/an hour and a half to 2 hours north of me and is like 100kms away (dont ask me in miles)
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𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫)
for @chronicowboy - happy birthday to my wife of ten years, 3 dogs, and 4 cats (who also found this song and planned out like half this edit but is too lazy to learn to edit herself so I had to realize the vision for her. Sad!) love you soooooooo much sami have the best day
#motherFUCKER is the audio too loud again???#have your ears blasted off your head for your birthday cheers sami#i was gonna post this tomorrow but im gonna be working in the morning and my tolerance for how long i can wait to post an edit#once its finished has a 12 hour threshold at MOST#911 edits#weewoo brainrot#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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Newsies feeling a bit like a warm familiar blanket rn. Need to be nuzzled in that shit
#newsies#jack kelly#crutchie morris#been thinking about them again#just had a 12 hour work day and I want my comfort musical#have another longer day tomorrow#need my comfort musical
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And what if I wrote a soup group secret/wildlife drabble full of angst as Gem deals with the fallout of her breakup betrayal from Pearl in Secret life and coming back to find her ally from secret life (both really but shhh that's not the point here) is now teamed with Pearl and Gem is missing her soup group :(
#geminitay#soup group#angst#pearlescentmoon#impulsesv#shinyduo#do gem and imp have a duo name?#like platonically#bc in my brain that IS her dad#i might actually try to write it#maybe starting tonight#but i also worked like 12 hours today#and do it again tomorrow#i need sleep#but also#want to write angst
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5-STAR STRAY KIDS
#stray kids#skz#createskz#*m#*gfx#long post#chan#minho#changbin#hyunjin#jisung#felix#seungmin#jeongin#tears and a thumbs up i guess..#idk what to really say#how long did this take me...#12 hours.. i worked for p much 12 hours straight#im going the fuck to sleep#if this flops.. youll never hear from me again im so incredibly serious abt that#i hate this but at the same time im like lol . its ok right?#idk i just can never be satisfied with anything i make i know that much but fawk man#12 hrs and im disappointed in myself????#LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT !!! FAWK YOU MISS LI !!!!!#whatever i just need to sleep#if theres typos.. spelling erros ill kms <3 so .#anyway... enjoy eye guess#i shouldve just slept but ehheawifejoiawefoija fuck#why am i so fawking nervous what the fawk
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#it was a hard day today.#sometimes you just gotta cry for an hour about requiring significant assistance to do basic stuff that you don't actually have help with rn!#(my wife is working 6 12s at a job we had to move across the country for)#(which means 1 she is *exhausted* at *all* times and struggling to even meet her own needs)#(and 2 our other partner and all our family and friends are. multiple days away by car. so they can't come help.)#it's getting hard to even stick leftovers in the microwave for myself but no one else is able to cook for me.#it sucks.#(we're moving again in june because this was a 1-year position from the beginning)#(and the idea is for our other partner to move in with us which will help a lot)#(plus my wife should be switching to a reliably 5-day week at that time)#(but we don't know where we're going for another month and a half.)#(so we can't really do any groundwork or anything to make that happen.)#(and having zero agency other than sitting and waiting and getting worse alone Really Sucks!)#I guess this is a bit of a secret part two to yesterday's meducation lol#favorites
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if you accuse my art of being ai i am blocking you lol
#like. the hysteria around ai art has come full circle and people are throwing it around like 17th century peasants crying witch#every time they see something vaguely painterly with a couple of awkward mistakes#i do this because i love it but that's still 12 hours minimum of backbreaking work don't insult me#peeked into the world of open asks again and got scared
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Somebody, help him right away... (^^♪
#mia winters#ethan winters#resident evil#resident evil biohazard#resident evil 7#re7#mesmerizer#This Is My Mithan Mesmerizer#Friend Vio Showed Me Mesmerizer And Said It Was MithanCore And I Once Again Opened CSP#Actually I Started This Before Other Mithan Post But This Took A While Bc Yeah <3#Anyways I Am Now At The Marguerite Section In My First Playthru (Actually Restarted To Play On Normal And I Regret It A Little </3) And bug#I Had Thoughts On How Mesmerizer Is MithanCore But It Is Past 2 AM Rn And I Have Work In About 12 Hours So Perhaps Later HELP#my art
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Life Tracker updated for Episode 7! This one is much quicker than Episode 6 on account of not being on holiday at the time, even though there were two thirds more deaths this time. Previous posts: Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. Also Session 8 (finale) post!
As usual, close ups and commentary below the cut. I’ve also added another graph for the average time of each team, which will also be below the cut.
There was so much carnage! 45 whole deaths in a single session! Not all deaths were awarded time during the session, but Scott’s video advised that it would be added by next session, so I have taken the liberty to add all the time as I see fit, hence why Scott is back to 7.5 hours. I haven’t seen every episode yet (in fact, other than Scott, I’ve only seen those that have perma-died), so I’m not sure if anyone else’s time is a mismatch, but if so I’m happy to explain where I’m getting my time additions and subtractions from!
Now for some close ups.
First, there was enough chaos that I decided to take a close up of Session 6 and 7 together so we can properly appreciate it:
And a close up of Session 7 by itself:
So many people lost major time, so it’s interesting to see Scott’s uptick of time at the end - he ended on only 30 minutes less than he would have been if he hadn’t died at all this session. Pearl didn’t die at all, and got the kill credit for Martyn blowing himself up in a trap, so she actually ended the session 30 minutes better than she started it. Grian also did very well for himself - he killed and died so many times, but somehow ended on the exact time he would have been on if he had experienced a peaceful deathless session.
BigB, Cleo, and Martyn all ended the session 1 hour poorer than they started, and Bdubs and Scar ended 1.5 hours below where they would have been. Nosy Neighbours are thus doing super well, with Mean Gills and Clockers not too far behind, in terms of maintaining position from the start of the session.
TIES had an awful time this session, with Impulse and Tango both losing a net 2 hours, and Etho and Skizz losing a net 2.5 hours - and obviously Skizz entirely died.
Joel possibly had the worst time, losing a net 3.5 hours this session - though it didn’t help that 5 of his 7 deaths were all caused by the one person. Technically Jimmy didn’t do too badly, given he only lost a net 1.5 hours... but given that he was out of the series only an hour into the session, and also the first out entirely... it really didn’t go well for him either
I also find it interesting the sheer number of vertical lines this graph, the ones representing a death immediately followed by a kill or vice versa. I would love to figure out a way to show only one line at a time on the graph, so we can more easily see someone’s journey, but I haven’t had time to look into it yet.
Now onto the graph of the average times per team.
This one is super interesting to me, especially TIES’s line - they had the lowest average life right from the start, but somehow by Session 4, through Session 5, and for most of Session 6, they were the team with the highest average time, and then it quite literally went downhill from there. The only thing saving them from being last now is the fact that the Bad Boys are down to only a single living player, and even then Grian is doing far better than most of TIES.
It’s also interesting to me how Mean Gills had a significant time uptick at the end of both Session 6 and Session 7 (the first due to Martyn and the second due to Scott). Scott’s time was so high that it kept Mean Gills’ average time as yellow for all of Session 6 despite Martyn being red for most of it... and Martyn then got enough kills to keep it there. Mean Gills is also the only team in the entire graph to anywhere gain such consistent significant time.
These averages also coincide with the comments I made above about the time offset difference for each player from the start to end of the session. Mean Gills are doing well, but they’ve been doing well for so long that I’m sure most players are aware that they need to be a target. Nosy Neighbours are also doing well but I feel like they’ve flown under the radar, and are not a significant target right now.
Here is a close up of this graph with Sessions 1-4:
And the close up for Session 5-7:
And the Session 7 only close up:
I kept the dead players in the teams’ averages, since I think it is a better reflection of the teams’ strength as a whole, but I also created a version that excluded dead players. In those screenshots you can really see Bad Boys’ and TIES’ time jumping up at a death, instead of falling as it did here.
Here are the alternate averages graph:
And close ups:
This makes Bad Boys look a lot better, because Grian does have a lot of time... but he is also alone. And there is definitely strength in numbers. Two players at an hour and a half each can fend off an attacker more easily than a single player at three hours can... unless nerves and panic get to them, as we definitely saw this session.
Wow and I almost forgot to include the raw data for this session!
The first hour of the session:
The second hour of the session:
There is just so much death! Look at all the box outlines!! I could barely fit this data on two screens on the zoom I was on, and I did not want to zoom out further.
I also obviously have data for the averages, but it was too far away from the column with the times on it that I wasn’t sure if it would still be useful on its own? Let me know if you want to see it!
This has once again been fascinating to see, and I cannot wait to see how Session 8 will go. Will it be the last session? Will they go until everyone is dead? Will they somehow have enough people with enough time to get to Session 9? Will Mean Gills be the final two and get to play fun relaxing games like Scott was suggesting?
Only time will tell.
#limited life smp#24lsmp#limlife#once again i hate trying to work out what tags for a post#i got to this point in the tags before i realised i forgot to add the number data#i still love that impulse accidentally killed scott and became yellow again#and that scott also became yellow again#so there was less than 14 minutes between there still being two yellows on the server... and jimmy permadying#thirteen minutes and 41 seconds exactly by my calculations#which is crazy given we had whole sessions of yellows only#which meant it was hours between last green and first red#so less than a quarter of an hour between last yellows (and two of them!) and first permadeath is crazy#i always ramble in the tags bc i dont know how to wrap the post up#why do i always post these as im going to bed#its after midnight and im yawning now#anyway enjoy!#very glad i got to post this before the weekend ended this time#well it was still sunday when i started writing the post#its 12:15am on monday now. technically#my spreadsheets
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Having to micromanage your entire physical battery day in and day out is so exhausting, especially when your ability fluctuates without rhyme or reason with every single day. I'm starting to have to reframe how I view and tackle my task lists because otherwise the grief and frustration becomes so much that I get nothing done. I'd love to complete the entire list today, but I'm gonna have to limit myself to ticking off two tasks just so I don't burn myself out to the point of being unable to do anything later...
#and even then thats no guarantee since i could feel super sick later without warning#OR maybe i feel superdupergood and can do them all no problem and THEN some#but then i also have to prepare for being bedridden after if i dont keep track of how much energy i burn#the event horizon of which ALSO changes daily lmfao#meanwhile people assume youre lucky or even privileged for this#as if being homebound for your safetys sake and spending most of the time being unable to really do anything#is anything worth envying. people assume youre resting when frankly youre just keeping your face above the water#i dont have a choice either. i gave up all my dreams and ambitions just for the sake of trying to survive for once#i WANT to have a life i WANT to have the power to be independent and not be at the mercy of others until the day i die#god sorry URGH its so hard to not feel sad and hopeless and almost bitter about this sometimes#its so hard not to feel alienated and embarrassed by the fact that you practically live in a different reality to people#people whose lives revolve around careers and working to the point where they cant comprehend you as a disabled individual#and what that means beyond the assumption that being chronically ill and overall impaired is a choice and moral failire#whether or not people are aware of that baseline assumption concretely#and i feel stupid and annoying for whining about this when i have so much to be grateful for#just. guhhhhhhhhh idfk. i SHOULD get started here but i can barely move out of bed#exhaustion is killing me i miss going on daily walks my house feels like a prison#i need to stop moping im already spiralling lmfao#trying not to close my eyes lest i pass out yet again despite having gotten more than 12 hours of sleep#cause apparently to my stupid body thats not enough to even stand up#silvi talks
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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The two Suns I drew during @daycarefriendpickup's Magma this past weekend. This was my first time doing an event like this and it would not have been possible without the encouragement of the faz-errific @littlechinaaru and @lil-lemon-snails. The second picture is my part of the collaboration I did with the two on Sunday (you can see the hands they drew on the left and right respectively). Check out the official posts by the dfpu tumblr to see both drawings in full.
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#dca fandom#that first Sun is tiny and was a pain to draw#biblically accurate dca's are not meant to be depicted on such a small scale and I would not recommend you try it#I can't believe I spent 12 HOURS on the collab-slow drawing strikes again ;_; I started working on it and just kept going nonstop all night#ngl it got kinda dicey those last few hours but hey it got finished in time to get posted to the dfpu tumblr#thanks Snails and Fire for spending your free time drawing with me instead of sleeping you're both swell and I had a great time#also thanks to the server in general you folks are all very supportive#edit: fughhhgh I just noticed I forgot to draw in several details why didn't I notice this sooner
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Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
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