#i wont lie to u this gif doesnt fit i just wanted to use it

[stigmvtas]

( @laughstrack )

He always found himself hanging around Freya more than most others; nothing about her was outwardly soothing - but she'd still felt like a well - worn flannel, cigarette smoke clinging to the sleeves. It was familiar - in the oddest sense, she felt wholly familiar; and Ducky couldn't help but cling like smoke to her too. Even now, half - choking down a half - chewed grape - there was a sense of ease to his actions. "Wait - who is that for?" Spoken with the crunch of broken skin - he shifted beneath Freya's weight, hand grappling thigh then arm as he sat up, the bunch of grapes sliding down from where they sat cold against his exposed stomach and into their laps. "You're not posting me on some sort of fucking, uh - fruit kink site, are you? That's fucked - I'm, uh - vulnerable, here - all exposed. Are my nipples in that?"

[huellitaa]

𖹭𓂃 ࣪˖ saying no

something ive struggled with for pretty much my entire life 😭

𐙚๋࣭ people pleasing:

a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.

trouble with saying no to people often comes from insecurity. when you feel bullied into things or backed into a corner too often it can lead to agreeing with everything and anything just so people will like you.

1. take small steps

getting out of habits like this are not easy whatsoever and take lots of time. taking small steps to implement getting rid of people pleasing tendencies is the best way to go about this; for example, just blocking someone who bothers you and starting from there.

2. fake it till you make it !

confidence is something absolutely essential but not easy to attain; thats where this skill comes in handy. ive been doing this since i was little and i wont lie and say it melts into real confidence because it doesnt, its just a shield to hide behind until your are genuinely confident and id definitely recommend this 100% to anybody starting or struggling to try and break this habit. act like youre fine & unaffected in front of the people who put you in this position even if you arent. dont show your weaknesses when you know they can be used against you.

3. valuing yourself

value yourself over all else. you are the most important person in your life. validate, support, and value yourself. trust your judgement is right and prioritise the protection of your peace above all else because that is the most important thing.

4. body language

ok as a girl with an incredibly infuriating tendency to turn red over the tiniest thing i feel a little bit of a hypocrite writing this but this is very very very important. if you find yourself in a position where you feel unable to refuse something or anything of the sort you do not show that.

🩰 ─ even if your cheeks turn red act like they arent. ik its sosoosos embarrassing n ur screaming inside but act like its nothing. bcs it is nothing. ok so theres a tiny bit of colour in your cheeks. and? stand your ground.

🧸── back straight, shoulders high, face blank. you dont show anything on your face. show you are completely stubborn and set on your choice/opinion.

🎀 ── if they try to embarrass you or say smth what i do is i literally just blink at them like okay. i dont care. do whatever bro idgaf

5. no hesitation

for the love of god do not second guess yourself. if something makes you upset or uncomfy or anxious or anything like that you leave them you walk away from them you block them you do not second guess yourself and think "but what if" no idc. if it costs you your peace its too expensive.

6. does this help me?

ok obviously when i say to say no i dont mean to like everything. only to the things you do anyway even if you dont want to. if youre not sure what to do when faced with the option to do something you ideally wouldnt really want to the first question you should be asking yourself is "does this help me?" think of it only from your perspective and how it would help you. ask yourself if its really necessary and if its serving you in any way to do this. if its just to fit in with someone else even if you dont really want to then do it then dont do it. why isnt your own presence enough? your peace is the only priority you should have here. what would you tell someone you love in your position? think about it for a sec instead of panicking.

conclusion; people pleasing is useless. you are the centre of ur universe. your peace is the only priority. people are stupid. you can do this. dont let anyone make you feel less than you are. i love u 🫶🩷