#i wont forgive her
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I feel this quite a lot.
Anger, resentment, malice, sadness, loneliness, neglected and spiritually taken away from faith.
It hurts a lot. I've watch my mother slowly ripping my relationship away from God.
They were my freedom and that inner child of mine was taken away.
I forgotten to act like a child again.
For the first time in my life, after I turned 18 years old, I finally ended my words with a simple answer:
"I wish my mom died, my love for education and learning wouldn't be this detrimental."
Three Years Lost to Depersonalization— a eulogy.
All these years.. I've let You bury ME
I watched as You possessed ME
You stole MY mind, MY body
You took ME
Made ME weak, made ME small enough to fit inside Your cage
and then You threw away the key.
I'm sure You thought it was easy…
Truth is, it was.
Not because You were stronger, but because I let You…
I was tired of fighting.
How was I to know You'd be such a fucking bitch?
You turned me into someone I hate.
You tortured ME.
Drowned ME in shame... guilt… disgust
You filled MY life with such putrid misery, and enjoyed every second of it.
But guess what?
All those years, I was sharpening my teeth.
Leathering MY skin.
Breaking MY bones—
turning them into weapons.
Planning Your execution.
You thought You had won
But I was never fully gone. You never fully had ME.
It just took ME a while to catch MY breath.
So... I hope You had fun while it lasted…
Cause now?
Now… You die
I’M the monster You thought You were.
I’M the one to fear.
#i wont forgive her#my relationship with people are ruined thanks to her as well#my childhood was mostly living in my confined room#finding many ways to cope myself in the internet#i chose that path selfishly#i am highly aware what im doing#books were my first friend at the age of 7#i know this one is not subject related but at least i have to say it#my birthday is always empty#i dont remember having a cake or anyone celebrating my birthday#i celebrate them just to be with fictional characters#cats are usually my friends as well#struggling with bpd and did#an absolute nightmare#yuukoku no moriarty was my comfort series#that series alone made me feel validated and acknowledged the pain I've been through#this is more of an venting out post#narcissistic abuse in asia was looked down and never been taken seriously
99 notes
·
View notes
Photo
the ginger ever and her trashcan best friend
#i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her#UGHHHHH cant WAIT to start back up on my rewatch#she!! her!!!!! queen!!!!! i love her smmmmmmmmmm#if she had a billion fans id be one if she had one fan it would be me#LOVE HER TO PIECES UHKHKHKKHKK JUST. OBSESSED#the only ginger ever <3#ignore how everytime i draw it gets messier soon u wont be able to tell whats going on#but until then#tmnt#tmnt 2k12#tmnt 2012#whats the difference???#anyway#april o'neil#tmnt april#if u have smth to say ab her say it to me i fight back without consequence#queue it up loser#ft a casey jones and the one scene in 2012 i will never forgive EVER#casey jones#tmnt casey#dont talk to me every again#i love going through my files i love seeing my queen april o neil many many times over again
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
@val-the-bun hits me with a padded sledge hammer in the feels with the wereharpy vaggie au thanks for that once again i inflict this ask on others as a coping mechanism >:C
val-the-bun asked:
Charlie can see the claw marks on Vaggie's side, golden blood, *angel* blood, dripping onto the floor... Her grip on the spear is shaking.
'Did you ever believe in me, Vaggie?'
Another shriek, weak and *crackling* is her only answer. Vaggie's talons fall, and she almost *leans* into the point of the spear. She can see the tears streaming down Vaggie's face.
The spear slips out of charlie's fingers. Her hands are shaking too much. She grabs Vaggie by the feathers, glaring up at her.
'Do you?'
Vaggie is *shaking*, taloned hands curling around Charlie with a *whimper*.
Charlie is clinging to Vaggie as the monster *buckles* around her. She lets out another whimper, nuzzling against her face. She cant keep her tail from curling around Vaggie, burying her face in those feathers she knows so well.
'Oh Vaggie...'
I am picturing a lot of comfort after this
Like just
Vaggie all bandaged up
And just curled up with Charlie in the lobby. And she's just gently brushing Vaggie's feathers.
'So uh, does anybody wanna explain why Vaggie Tales is doin' a heavenly werebird in hell?'
'I... I dont know. Maybe this is just... Maybe this is what happens if an exorcist stays down here?'
Eventually Vaggie starts changing back. Which, ya know, yay!
Aaaand also oh shit. Because uh. *She kind of shredded her outfit in her transformation*. And her spare one is back in what's left of the room she was holed up in.
'Oh, fuck. Uh. Blanket? Quick? PLEASE???'
Queue a very embarrassed and kind of ashamed Vaggie curled up in a *huge* blanket. But...Charlie's holding her. Vaggie may not think she deserves it, but she is.
'Please tell me I didnt try to eat anybody...'
'Oh, no my dear. Shreading on the other hand!'
Charlie gives Alastor a glare that surprisingly shuts him up. Meanwhile Vaggie has basically disappeared into the blanket, save the barest hint of white hair.
'Dont worry about it Vags, your aim was pretty shit.'
Queue a jab in the side from Husk.
'What! It's true! She missed!'
(Aaand that's all i got for this for now. Might do more in the future. Might write a fic. Who knows!)
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#charlie morningstar#chaggie#angel dust hazbin hotel#husk hazbin hotel#WELL AT LEAST YOU LET THEM /HUG/#vaggie cocooned in blanket and hug scared she hurt ppl...#CHARLIE WAS SNUGGLING HER AGAIN WHILE SHE WAS STILL MURDR BIRD PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LET VAGGIE REMEMBER THAT#im not surprised charlie's glare shut alastor up he's quippy not an idiot and charlie's gf is kinda BLEEDING at the moment#angel dust and the “i cope with near death with humor” trait ayyyyyye#but he also tying to reassure vaggie ;_; he's just kinda shit at it#BUT I WONT FORGIVE YOU FOR#VAGGIE ALMSOT LEANING INTO THE SPEAR#DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCHING UCKING tRAUMA THAT'D GIVE CHARLIE????#her gf almost fell on her own spear WHILE CHARLIE WAS HOLDING IT#FUCK#FUCK OF COURSE SHE DROPS THE DAMN THING#IS SHE GLARING AS SHE GRABS VAGGIE BC OF THE LIE AND FEAR EVERYTHING WAS A LIE#OR BC VAGGIE ALMOST PULLED THAT SHT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER#IS SHE HOLDING VAGGIE TO MAKE HER GF SEE HER GLARE#OR TO KEEP VAGGIE fROM FALLIGN??#charlie asks a question but she's not really looking for the answer to it right now feels like#she's looking for vaggie to trust her NOW#and wereharpy vaggie collapses#trusts charlie to take her weight (or accepts it if charlie drops her)#that's all charlie needed#to be holding her gf so tight again#you#monster
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
the transfem tavros thing is great and intriguing and I'm so glad to see Homestuck^2 actually going somewhere with its story for what feels like the first time ever. And I'm just gonna say it now. I will forgive the new Homestuck^2 team entirely of the sins of the past Homestuck^2 team if it means seeing her again
#homestuck^2#upd8#vriska#(vriska)#I miss her so much dude#and it feels like the story is going there#i wont forgive the jade stuff though they still have to earn that
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)
i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself
which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel
and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)
a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc
and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to
i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)
#i'm sorry if this is like kinda not srs enough for this topic just know that this came from a place of genuine relation to horror#his story resonates a lot to me about my own personal experiences and the anger and betrayal i felt myself#and i just wanted to point out the similarities i saw 🙁#i think that maybe even without realizing it that he might feel replused at sex and especially the intimacy part#touching his eye socket or head wound is like reliving the entire situation over again and he does NOT WANT THAT AT ALL#its a part of his body that he cant just get rid of because it's necessary which SUCKS#the snarkiness that horror has against undyne even after 7 years is so real#you NEVER forgive your abuser in that situation. i know damn well that the grudge will continue to last on for many more years to come#one day horror and undyne might be able to make up and coexist but horror wont ever be able to TRULY forgive her#a part of you changes viscerally for the worse when you go through something so traumatic#and i think horror's outburst fits that change a lot. it seems almost sudden how quickly he goes from sans to horror#and even though he was still spiralling before the CORE he probably wouldn't have changed so drastically without a betrayal THIS bad#he better get the BEST potential ending in horrortale or else i will RIOT#if aliza doesnt save horrortale and give them all the freedom they DESPERATELY NEED#SAS pls SAS pls don't doom them even more than they already are thats all i need#this metaphor is made even worse with my idea that killer or dust pull him around by the eye or skull#probably not dust (when he's calm (when he's not all boundaries get thrown out the window)#but with killer probably. he doesn't particularly care about what horror wants or keeps to himself#if it gets a barely amusing reaction then sure whatever. horror gets unreasonably pissed anyway for someone who just got his eye taken#in fights they could make it a point to hold onto his skull near the eyewound as tightly as possible#just to make it HURT. dust wants horror to remember him with as much hate as he does for undyne#killer does it to get him to remember that moment except this time no he can't fight back. just to keep him in line#it sucks i know but this trio was never truly made to improve eachother. they were made to drag eachother down worse than they already are#tricule analyze#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).
I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".
#my characters#oops i fell in love#can you guys tell im stressed and hyperfixating on my own fucked up ocs cause i am#also brents nickname at work and in rights phone is fuckwad#and hes like yeah if im called anything else at this point by right its weird and uncomfortable#and when it is finally approached as if paul is only in rights phone as shitty-ex (answer) now that hes an excoworker#what was he in rights phone BEFORE the transfer#and right is like annoying dickwad ... karen is like oh i see thats why you call him a dick still#thats like a nickname from his phone name#and brent has to ask why fuckwad and dickwad and right looks at him and takes a deep breathe before saying#because i like the word wad and it is very comforting bc like a wad of paper ? you can throw it away#and so if i realize i gotta get rid of attachment i wad it up#also dont tell paul that dickwad was a form of attachment or he will never shut the fuck up about it#karen and brent both swear to never mention it to paul#paul is honestly such a weird anomaly in the plot bc he doesnt directly work at the same police station#but he is CONSTANTLY a topic of gossip or annoyance or updates#hes literally karens best friend! aside from chris he was one of the few right worked with who HAD touch privileges before right banned it#hes also just genuinely well liked but no one can actually tell him or he will become insufferable#which is a crime that rick is guilty of once when he meets paul and karen introduces him#and rick is just OH i know that name! youre her best friend#and she looks so betrayed and paul looks so delighted and stunned and radiant over this fact#and rick makes up for it before the night is over which is why karen forgives him - he made paul back in his place#anyway yeah right has lots of fears and hes my bundle of anxiety and i love him and his atrocious nicknames#i think i would die if i gave someone a rude nickname even affectionately irl#also also final note on this ig#since right is a detective and not always at the station its worth pointing out brent and karen just work taking calls and#doing misc other work at their desks which are nearby so they 100% bond and its wonderful#ok i lied final note on them is#for a very long time karen has to check with right to make sure she isnt annoying brent because he doesnt emote well#and shes scared she wont know if shes annoying him please help youre like the only one who reads his moods accurately
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
The way some people characterise Buffy in fics like you described genuinely put me off Buffy fandom for years, it was absolutely everywhere, in Spuffy fics, in faith/buffy fics, it felt like I couldn't read a fic without the obligatory 'Buffy apologises to whoever the fuck for being so mean' and I just stopped, it was so baffling
For real its so weirdly pervasive. It genuinely blows my mind bc I totally get the urge to use your fic to call out a character/plot point you don't like, more power to you. Like I'm constantly imagining rewrites of the scenes where Xander is at his most insufferable but no one in-show is verbalising obvious holes in his bullshit (my big one is that besides a one off line from Buffy that everyone in the show ignores and a DELETED line from Giles is that NO ONE calls him on his absolutely infuriating "I was jealous of Angel being with the girl I like and I'm gonna have the gall to pretend it was bc I saw him turning evil coming" BULLSHIT)
But like. Buffy? You came out of this show and the person you had beef with and want to call out is BUFFY? THE VAMPIRE SLAYER? The protagonist of all time? Bc she's mean sometimes :( people try to apologise for trying to kill her and she's so unsympathetic :( she carries out her responsibility as the Slayer whether she wants to or not even if the person she's targeting is a character I like :( why won't she apologise. why won't she apologise. why does she insist on taking up space. why can't she just be nice all the time. yes my ao3 tag is princessspuffy why do you ask. yeah I know their relationship is abusive but I think Spike would forgive her :)
#NONE OF YOU DESERVE HER. SHE SAVED EXISTENCE AND YOU SAY SHE SHOULD HAVE SMILED MORE KILL KILL KILL#anyway. normal about her.#buffy summers#buffy the vampire slayer#im not a spuffy hater i love their mess but spike is easily the most common Why Wont Buffy Be Nice To Him i see#even though SPIKE loves her bc she DOESN'T let him off easy#'im a monster but you treat me like a man' was about the kiss in intervention#he hit on her and helped her fight and played nice with the scoobs all season#but he was clearly doing it to GET something and buffy is obviously completely unresponsive to that#but he lets himself get tortured almost to death for buffy and dawn and doesn’t seem to plan on telling them about it until buffy tricks him#THAT was real. the first real selfless good thing he did for her. AND SHE KISSED HIM FOR IT.#buffy has IMMENSE capacity to forgive people who she can see are actually trying#she just has zero patience for coddling self pitying murderers bc she learned from her first boyfriend#if you choose to do wrong she'll stop you but if you choose to do right she SEES that and she remembers it#she responds to action not words. you are what you do. and even if you're a monster#if you try to do the right thing she'll treat you like a man
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rlly thanks doofus it does mean a lot to me
And I always need to hear it because the thought of me not forgiving her makes me spiral and think im a bad kid because she loves me yk and she tries doing what she thinks best
Lmao more venting sorry..
But she's too engrossed in her own reputation to do anything about it even when I tell her whats wrong and atp im tired of telling her
It hurt me when I was a kid but it hurts way more now that I'm (trying to be) openly queer and an independent person
She's already made ma paranoid about medication (only take it when the pain is unbearable or else you'll get addicted) and treats me like a child when I try to exercise my semi independence as an almost young adult but acts as if I'm supposed to be an adult when I can't/don't know how to do something I'm "supposed to"
Also I've had many universities call me from abroad when I was 15 freaking 15
I wanted to attend a design university in Germany but she said I couldn't go because "the Nazis will kill you on sight" because of my indigenous and african ancestry (I look white cuz of my dad and my english is almost at native level so her argument doesn't even apply)
I couldn't pick my clothes until recently and she guilty trips me into wearing what she buys me
She tried to force dresses upon me so so many times
I used to love dresses but her comments make me dysphoric as all fuck
And I'd think I could count on dad to support me but no he just also doesn't "think im trans" but doesn't gaf abt my sexuality so he just lets mum say whatever
And this whole.thing makes me want to tear myself into a million tiny pieces because all I could do is leave but I cant because they deprived me of being able to work until now and I don't have any money or experience to either move out or get a job without having to do a stupid 5 hour test with an essay
Theres so many fu ked up things abt my family omfg and im not even halfway done w mum if I ever talk abt dad I might break down
Curling up like a cat
I'm so tired
#cw: queerphobia#cw: gaslighting#cw: violence#rlly thank you though#i spiral a lot#and feel.guilty abt it even though it rlly isnt my fault at all#i wont forgive her#unless she shows shes sorry#not just cry once so i can hear#or say shes sorry#shes making me forgive a lot of people because theyre family and ill see them again#or bc theyre old and will die soon#and i decided im not doing it anymore#i kind if want to tell dad what happened but she kind of blackmailed me into not doing it#because its a “reason for divorce”#and if i told dad we would never go to my maternal grandma's house again#so shes making me feel guilty just by thinking abt it#this is so screwed holy shit
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm pretty much done with TOH lol.
A braver and more energetic soul can try giving this show a constructive critique... because I will actually, wholeheartedly lose my humanity while writing out the script.
There is like... a problem this show has that permeates the whole thing: It says its going to do one thing, but then does something completely different. Like how the first two episodes of the series make you believe Luz is going to learn how her inability to separate fantasy from reality is actually inhibiting her growth as a person... only to make her a chosen one and to give her everything she ever wanted without Luz changing the way she treats people.
#TOH critical#Reaching Out is my most hated ep along with the series finale bc of how guiltrippy Luz is in RO#Oh yeah Amity i know you have a very valid reason for hating me rn bc its my fault your abusive dad found out you skipped tryouts...#...but you cant be mad at me bc my dad died on your special day. Also I am jealous of you for having an Alive Dad#even tho i know your father is a horrible person and treats you like dogshit lol.#i can never forgive them for lobotomizing Amity's character#like Luz can lie to her face repeatedly and she'll be like... this is fine im sure it wont happen again...#still crazy to me how Amity gets the female love interest treatment you see with m/f ships... how could you do this to her#i want to see the Amity who actually had a spine and was willing to kill to achieve her goals#but no she gets reduced to ''bad but sad girl''... and i start fighting and killing
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
envisioning myself as the creator of my pride for a second… i feel like if i was setting up a pairing where one character has been systemically abused for being disabled and female most of her life, and the romantic interest was introduced to her by…. having said romantic interest mock her for being systemically abused…. i would not have that be the setup for an uwu true love prevails story. i would more likely portray that as nothing clinging onto hover because she’s got no support back home and she’s better than her abusive mother and sisters at least, but the relationship is still not great because both characters are incompatible and do not respect each other, and nothing has been primed to take abuse in all of her relationships anyways. its just another rough journey for nothing to clear, not her happy ending.
#like i get the point is that hover thinks the groups laws are stupid but cmon… there had to be a better way to show it than that…#and it falls apart anyways when hover is suddenly like omg i love your customs actually. why didnt you attend my ceremony you selfish bitch#i think hover should hook up with nothing’s shitty sister who was like ‘’im just jealous my mom was too busy abusing my sister to look at m#and they should just leave nothing alone#and nothing should get a better gf who wont lecture her about how shenhas to forgive her abusive family
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
SEASON 5 OF HOUSE IS SO FUCKING CRAZY
#ppl keep telling me theyre watching it now bc i wont shut up abt it and i cannot put into words how ECSTATIC that makes me#but im wondering if i shld tag spoilers now#ngl it’s such a good show even if you know things abt it it’ll still hit u#but i certainly wld rather be surprised#anyway. spoilers. season 5. the hostage situation. house handing the gun back. him nearly dying bc he’s taking methadone on top of the#vicodin. him throwing away his cane bc he’s not in pain for once. quitting the methadone bc he made one (1) mistake and can’t forgive#himself bc he has to be medically right or he has nothing.#also thirteen and foreman. im so bisexual.#cuddy and her baby. cuddy firing house for the methadone then seeing how much it helps him and offering the job back. her wanting him to#take it but house refusing#wilson and house. as always.#shoutout to kutner also. my beloved.#OUVGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I saw an image of Barbara with a skyward gun and it made me laugh since I built my Barbara to be dps since she was one of the only characters I liked the attack style of and I didn't understand what a dps or support was.
this is the original image
#barbatos may forgive you but my fucking gun wont#barbara genshin impact#dps barbara#art#genshin impact#genshin fanart#love barbara shes so sweet#so i adopted her
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
CAN I TAKE HIS PLACE TUESDAY
#seiusa#usagi tsukino#seiya kou#sailor moon#sorry this version of the subtitles doesnt even say that#so many things like:#the fact they are in their civilian clothes#the fact he goes down to her height instead of helping her up#i didnt want this clip to be long af but the whole thing before too#like if you hurt this girl i wont forgive you#even before that when rei comes and theyre looking for her and seiya is like 🏃♂️➡️#tuxedo masc😌#and seiya being haunted that usagi is so sad 😭#also im just gonna say it: the fact that usagi specifically brings up eating too much#callback to that earlier episode where she;s doing 'wife training' to be worthy o fmamoru#that like explicitly included trying to lose weight
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
"He hurts you because he loves you" classic excuse for abuse, not an interesting angle to go at a story with, boring, annoying, makes me hate anyone who says this shit. "He loves you but he still hurt you" beautiful, amazing, empowering. Love is not a pure, good, flawless emotion, actions matter more than intent, and caring for someone doesn't mean you can't or won't hurt them, and in my opinion, it makes hurting them worse.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#bruce wayne#not directly dc but i was def thinking abt this mf when writing it#like im sorry but narratives abt someone acknowledging their parent was rough/hard on them growing up bc they cared or whatever do Nothing#for me#i have NEVER ONCE seen the concept of ''tough love'' used in any context outside of trying to justify abuse.#like fuck off w the robins going ''bruce is hard on you cus he wants you to do your best'' or whatever I ACTUALLY HATE ITTT#''but he loves her'' ah yes. the most classic fucking excuse for abuse and mistreatment.#i don't care if there is love!!! i dont care if actions come from a place of care and love if the actions are fucking horrific!!!!!#like in my opinion hurting someone you love is worse than hurting someone you hate#i dont care about your intentions if you caused real harm#uegh this is a topic i feel very strongly about bc the bullshit narrative of a character#forgiving someone for hurting them bc they learn they love/care is so prevalent and has never been done in a way#that doesnt make me seethe w fucking rage!!!#gaa >:(#anyway. narratives about acknowleding they loved you and cared for you and wanted the best for you#AND STILL HURT YOU are so good to me#you can hurt someone you love. loving someone doesnt mean you wont hurt them. and love is not an excuse to hurt others.#seems like such basic 101 understanding of the world but apparently not 😒
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
I WAS WAITING 🥳🥳🥳😈😈😈 QUESTIONS FOR MIRUKU!!
All under Catmint - Ferocity, Courage and Quarrelsomeness!!
█ 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐂 ��𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⸻ ( ⚝ )
Here we go again with my ridiculously late answers, but thank you for always humoring me and sending questions in, Melon! I hope your day is going well !
╰┈┈➤ 𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒕 - 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔.
─── 01. How quick is your OC to anger? Can they fly into a fury, seemingly out of nowhere? Or does it gradually build like a gathering storm? Infrequent & quick to relinquish. By default, Miruku is not an angry person nor does he have the capacity to hold onto anger. It's an emotion that is more often than not replaced by dejection and despondency, he's more likely to express disappointment and sadness rather than anger. He also values his comfort enough to not gather and bottle most negative emotions he comes across, this side of him helps relieves his displeasures.
However, person as he is, some disturbances cannot be avoided, the handful of times he had been truly angered were moments that debilitated him wholly physically. It is a foreign emotion he does not really know how to handle, it makes him physically ill as a result.
─── 02. What motivates your OC to be courageous? A sense of honour or duty? A need to maintain a reputation for fearlessness? A bloody-minded refusal to be pushed around? A wish to protect the vulnerable? The need to win against all odds?
Miruku is not a courageous individual, though at first glance he may seem bold and fearless, his truth is stranger than fiction ! His fear response is thoroughly impaired, unable to properly react to danger cues. He could be aware that something or someone is dangerous but fear is alarmingly dulled, fortunately he was taught to curate his well-being and safety first and foremost.
This affliction, while worrisome to his love ones, had proven to be quite helpful in navigating the underbelly of the mafia system. This is likely why, in spite of being a civilian, Miruku was able to wedge himself into crime and violence, though because this is not at all normal or healthy, he ends up suffering else where.
─── 03. What subject is your OC most likely to argue about? And who are they most likely to argue about it with?
Miruku Osashima does not argue, he simply MANSPLAIN people into submission. He has this horrible way of completely ignoring what people are saying, talking over them without much of an 'anyway' to change subject. He knows what he is doing and he does not want to acknowledge your opinion whatsoever ; the subject ? Anything. ( He does this often to Momina, some kind of bullying tactic. He finds her frustrations cute. )
─── 04. Does your OC often bicker with others? Do they complain frequently? Is this due to genuine dissatisfaction or anger? Or is it done in a slightly tongue in cheek fashion?
He is pedantic without a cost, but Miruku would never claim he bickers. He banters albeit viciously in frustrating and ridiculous extent, he doesn't need to be right nor does he care to win, he only bickers and complain only to tease. He does it often enough that you'll get use to his misconduct, though admittedly if you're particularly sensitive, you'll likely feel like you're being tyrannize by a school yard bully, in some ways he is but the bully likes you a lot and things is sweet when you whine and cry.
His TORMENTOR LITE hobby however, will eventually blow up in his face. In his adulthood, this schemes hardly works with the three men that keeps him in check... Reborn, Takeshi and Dino has a special way of forcing him to behave, it's almost believable when he starts whining about how they don't actually love him and that they're sick and twisted for whatever totally reasonable thing they've put upon him. Suddenly, he knows how to bite his tongue.
─── 05. When was your OC the most angry they have ever been? What about this situation made them so angry? Was it the person who provoked them? The injustice of the situation? Or their own powerlessness in the face of circumstance?
It had been when Yuni returned with Byakuran, he didn't think he could have ever hated anyone more than he hated Yuni in that moment. Byakuran is a very unique pain that he could not begin to commiserate with. Yuni forgave Byakuran in their stead, as if she has authority to revoke the harm he had done.
His outrage will eventually melt into special ache. Yuni had made Miruku deeply and irrevocably heartbroken. He looks at her pained, but as he let goes of Byakuran, so does he with her.
#melonchanverse#𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄. ⸻ ◜ character analysis/ miruku◞#* I know people LOVE Yuni so much but I have a very different view of her and I think what she did was fucked up.#* imagine it this way : you friend brings your abuser to your home and say 'he's safe now i hope you forgive him. /i/ forgive him'#* that's what happened.#* I couldn't go into details of this tho since the ask is already so long#* but Miruku and Yuni's relationship is equally strained and interesting!#* they are both so removed from humanity that they act kinda wonky but they both try to endure#* Yuni is a strange girl whose emotions are equally questionable and unhealthy#* being jealous of her mother for example...#* forgiving byakuran without thinking about his victims...#* having to play a part and accept her death even tho she is scared#* she has so much problems djsakds#* i say i wont explain and i rambled...#* i could go on about yuniii
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vent
I'm so tired, like I'm tired emotionally, like not physically, I can run around and have fun and stuff but the millisecond I'm alone or no one is listening to me it's like I've never slept before and I've just worked a double, like I feel like I'm faking my mental issues because I don't have any diagnosiss and I don't know what they could be but I know they're there I know I'm not normal normal people don't cut themselves,normal people don't wish to die and normal people definitely don't lay in their bed unable to get up to piss because they're mindlessly scrolling through social media praying for their friend to actually respond to them with words other than 'oh','sigma' or 'im too busy'
I miss the girl who would run around the field with me talking about gacha life and LGBTQ, I miss the girl who would talk to me daily and joke with me and would giggle and tell me I'm sigma
I miss Stevie
I think I'm gonna throw myself off a bridge or Infront of a train, but first I need to see Stevie so I can give her my money, I don't want my family to have it, I want Stevie to
Her family doesn't have as much money as mine, like we're middle class but not like, posh middle class and we aren't like poor middle class we're just.... In the middle?
But hers is lower middle class and she loves being outside and hanging out with people and having fun and if she wants to have fun because of the capitalist hellscape we live in, she needs money, so I want her to have it so she can be happy when I'm gone.
I love Stevie more than she'll ever fucking know.
#cw sui mention#cw sh mention#cw vent#cw sui ideation#cw sui thoughts#cw sh#tw selfhate#tw mental health#tw vent#tw sh destructive behaviour#tw sh related#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#tw sui attempt#tw sh implied#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self destruction#tw self h4rm#tw s3lf harm#tw isolation#i miss her so bad i might throw up#shes my life#shes my light and i wont forgive myself if i cant say goodbye to her properly#no over the phone bullshit#i love Stevie-jane McFadden
7 notes
·
View notes