#i wont be making more discourse posts like this its genuinely not my thing and i dont care abt this kinda stuff half the time but

[98chao]

just read a post by someone who saw my recent vanilla milkshake art talking about how it's "sus" people make more AU's of mlm ships like pureshadow than wlw ships like seamoon... like. i'm... sorry??? i guess?? i can't help that i have an extremely strong attachment to them much more than literally anything else in this game (aside from sugarberry but i'm holding out until eternal sugar gets released to draw art of them).

i'm not saying misogyny doesn't exist in fandoms because it absolutely does, you can see a lot of fandoms where mlm ships overshadow wlw ones even if the cast is predominantly female, but like. I'm a lesbian friend. i like a lot of wlw ships. that issue has nothing to do with me and i don't like how you're trying to involve me in that. please keep the fandom drama away from me

[iintervallum]

some tma and tmagp meta and thoughts, disclaimer that this does contain some more negative critique

i think i realized why i still think about tma despite not actually fully loving the podcast. i like a lot of the lore and the workings of the avatars and the meta narrative around power structures,and many of the themes it discusses and disects through the subtext are intriguing, it has a very interesting tapestry of the inner workings of it's universe

but the actual way the podcast tells it was, at some points, repetitive and a little bit boring, i would have to relisten sometimes to episodes just to remember what was happening even though i was listening to a lot of it in the same time span and should have remembered, i havent felt as much of a need to revist the story as i have with other audio dramas ive listened to. I do want to say that i genuinely enjoy tma its just not something that ive latched onto as i have with other shows.

side tangent -> and seeing how volatile the fandom was in its peak i don't want to be involved further lol. I'm someone who has a bad habit of looking at discourse and critical tags because i like fandom history and I'm nosy, and seeing posts about jmart being "too fluffy" and the ending of tma having "no impact" and how they were "pandering" right next to posts about how "traumatically tragic" the ending was and how jmart was "extremely toxic" and they made them "do terrible things how dare they" was really funny. there were legitimate critiques of things there as well but the divisive nature of s5 is amusing to me as an outsider that came in late additionally some stuff with how fandom centers whiteness and white narratives, as nice as it that there is a widely adopted fanon of Jon as a person of colour, specially a brown asian man, i think the fandom still didn't really decenter whiteness at all, like sure you're solving the sexy man problem by making them non white but have you done...any thinking into the deeper implications of it? i have, being south asian myself makes it impossible not to. tangent over

I guess some aspects did not feel as tight as they could have been, with some themes the show deals with being hits and misses. i think the structure and the statement format as iconic as it is, restricted the way the story could be told, if i'm making sense? (and the decision to go with more realisitc and more grounded horror that intersected with real world issues are a part of said hits and misses from my perspective, some things i feel didnt fully work from a narrative standpoint but thats a subjective thing that i wont get into)

thats why i'm enjoying tmagp a little more, i think they took what worked well with tma and expanded on it with a fuller cast from the offset,the inclusion of the non statement parts that tma had (the interpersonal relationships and conflicts) and intergrated it without fully losing what makes tma intriguing to listen to. tmagp so far seems to balance the cases and the character interactions well. it doesnt feel like we're just going with the same format and its not too unfamilar either.

like one thing i'm looking forward to is the guest writers, specifically a few of them since ive listened to their work and loved them, and it will be really interesting to see how their writing would work within the tma universe.

and an aspect which makes tmagp intresting as well is if you have proior knowledge of the tma universe, we know much more than the characters, and have our own perceptions of what is going to happen to them based on our previous understanding of the series and the events that transpired. we're just waiting for the characters to catch onto what we know, and all the foreboding tragedy and devastation that will come with it.

some part of me wonders, if this season will be about how tragedies like the universe ending in the way it did in s5 are unavoidable, how even in an alternate universe where the circumstances are different the same things are bound to happen again. no matter what its inevitable, the mark of what transpired cannot ever be reversed,

like there are parallels to be had with how jon was ultimately pulled into everything against his will and had not that much agency in what happened to him, even if he did make the decision to use the power he had(for both good and bad reasons), it was forced onto him in the first place. meanwhile we have sam who is desperate for a connection to something greater, as a part of his self worth is tied to being chosen, even if we know that being chosen is not what it seems, hes willing to endanger himself if it means finding out more with his curiousity overpowering the risk factor. i wonder if the outcome of it all will be the same because that would be very very interesting.

either way the tighter nature of tmagp seems to work well for it and i hope that the momentum continues till it's conclusion, and even if not I had a decent time with it so it still would have been worth it

[gibbearish]

every time i see discourse about fundraisers go by on here im just fully struck with the realization that not a single one of you people have either taken a cybersecurity fraud prevention course or bothered to take one singular second to consider the website youre on. this is the broke bitches website. none of us can afford to fund our mutuals' grocery bills, much less entire evacuation funds, and CERTAINLY not FAKE evacuation funds taking advantage of genocide victims. all this shit abt how people are deliberately choosing not to fund every post that passes their dash because they hate palestinians literally just does the work of actual scammers for them by laying the high-pressure sales tactics groundwork, and the "do you guys have any idea how hard it is to keep coming up with new attention-grabbing fundraiser posts?" ones just ring EXTREMELY hollow because YEAH! YEAH I DO! and so does everyone i follow! and everyone they follow! because all of us are FUCKING BROKE and surviving on crumbs! i just saw one that said "i make sure to keep $40 in my wallet at all times so i can give $20 to any panhandlers i see, this is the same" and its like!! good for you, thats very nice, but like!!! you need need NEED to take a step back and realize that /being able to do that/ is a position of privilege, not the default setting to be a good person. i wont discount that some people do ignore fundraisers specifically because of racism because Of Course, but like. a) yelling at them isnt gonna make them stop, or more accurately yelling at /everyone else/ isnt gonna make those people stop, and b) trying to apply that as a blanket motivation for everyone just. realistically doesnt work. not donating is a nonaction, it is the literal default status, and while in specific situations you can use CONSISTENT absence of SPECIFIC actions to track a person's motivations SOMETIMES, broadly speaking that just. doesnt work.

there are 8 billion people on this planet. most of them will never know you exist. of the ones that do, most will not be able to help you. of the ones that can, most will not be on the broke bitches website passing the same communal $20 around. consider your audience and stop shitting on fellow poor people for having the gall to need to be careful with their money. and if you are genuinely only posting your fundraiser to tumblr, like. im sorry, but you need to anticipate not reaching your goal and prepare accordingly. theres a reason the last big scam scandal people talk about actually getting the money is like. all-or-nothing era, as a website none of us have the funds to make that kind of thing happen anymore or the security to risk it. a fundraiser not meeting its goal on here is not a personal sleight against whoever made it, its just how life goes sometimes. and it's unfair and it sucks and we should help however we can, but. sometimes you just arent able to help someone else, and continuing to feel responsible serves only to torture yourself. and blaming OTHERS serves only to move that guilt from yourself off onto another person. i imagine that has to be where a lot of the vitriol comes from, is people who cant afford to donate more getting pissed at people they see as having the funds but choosing not to share them, but again, sometimes you just are not able to achieve the goals you set out towards, through no fault of the specific parties involved.

people on tumblr choosing to buy groceries rather than potentially donate to a scam are not your enemy and are not the ones facilitating a genocide. we're all victims of the same horrific system, the question is just how that system manifests its influence on each of us. poverty kills just as thoroughly as a bomb. everyone is just doing their best to survive, and as much as we like to pretend that everyone should be a perfect selfless angel that puts others before themselves no matter what, humans are by default a selfish species, and it is a lot easier to say what youd do in theory than actually do it. and there's a reason you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person beside you, youre of no help to anyone if youre too dead to do anything.

[jones-friend]

I have finished playing yet another game and I have some thoughts I wanted to share!

This is one I’ve been wanting to post on bc I’m not the biggest fan of the game’s discourse. I’ve been playing pokemon since Ruby/Sapphire. I have completed gen 2 remake, gen 3, gen 4, gen 5, gen 6, gen 8, and now gen 9. I have attempted gen 1, gen 2, and gen 7 without completing them.

I want to start with that I believe this is the best pokemon game. I’ll explain in full, but upfront this is the best time I’ve had playing a pokemon game.

Another thing I want to get out of the way is the game’s performance issues. When I see the game discussed this is the only thing I see being discussed. Yes I agree the game shipped unfinished, there are many performance issues. Its easy to go online and google silly glitches. I played both this and Cyberpunk day 1: this is nowhere near as bad as Cyberpunk. In the time I’ve played this I have not experienced any bugs that forced a restart. You’ll see NPC’s taking a walk at a brisk two frames per second, windmills tick like clocks, and sometimes Fuecoco slides into the abyss but nothing I encountered broke my forward progress. That’s why this recommendation comes with a “yes if you can set aside performance issues” because they are present and they are serious.

I’m going to move forward from talking about the game’s performance issues now.

The game takes the three plotlines of the 8 gyms, legendary pokemon, and an antagonist team and fractures them into bite sized pieces. You set out and find new wild pokemon to add to your team and shape your team through the course of the game.

Theres a LOT to love here. We’ll start gameplay. I have never cared about filling out the dex until this game. Hunting wild pokemon is easier since you can see them all before you encounter them and this gen serves a wide and intriguing variety of types from across nine generations of pokemon games. I never felt walled into a single or small set of typings and I was consistently finding stuff I wanted to try. TM crafting is very helpful, most necessary items can be bought, and terastalizing is the best version of mega evolution the series has made since gen 6.

Each pokemon has a tera type, typically the typing they are. When you terastalize you shift into that tera type and moves of that type become more powerful. The kicker is your tera type doesnt need to match your type. Through raid battles and a special process to change it you can receive different tera types. I cleared the elite four with a banette that shifts to fairy. You can only terastalize once between pokecenters making it much clearer than gigantomax. Its huge for pvp play and I’m excited to tinker with it.

Pokemon has also struggled with difficulty often opting to go too easy. To me this game hits it just right. Some fights were easy but some really wrung me out. The team star fire and fighting leaders in particular gave me a run for my money. I has two pokemon left after the dragon elite four trainer. Granted I did remake my team at lvl 60 for all the path finales, it was exactly the level of difficulty I want out of pokemon that made me engage with its typing mechanics.

New pokemon are also delightful, lots of exciting type combos, cute new designs, there’s a ton of hits this generation and fantastic new evolutions.

The story is much improved as well. Essentially you have a rival per story line and they all function differently. At the conclusion of all three paths the next story is unlocked where you and your three buds you’ve become friends with over the course of a typical pokemon game go on an adventure. I wont spoil this section, but genuinely this is the strongest part of any pokemon game I’ve played. It made me feel the themes the game wants to reinforce. A+.

Also shoutout to all the team star fight themes all three are bangers.

So is this a good game?

If we’re judging by pokemon standards its incredible. To me its the closest the series has been to what the premise promises. If this gets remade I think fans will be stoked. Its absolutely one of the strongest entries.

Is it a good game divorced from the pokemon legacy? Yes*. Its got a great finale, great art direction, engaging battles that never felt too easy, the GAME here is very strong. The performance can be a real problem and if the performance of a game can make or break it for you I cannot recommend this one. You need to be able to let a lot of aesthetic performance issues slip by, sometimes daschbun just goes into the stratosphere. Sometimes Jeff from Biology walks through your pokemon battle. But if you’re able to set these issues aside I think you’ll have a wonderful time.

I think gamefreak is headed in the right direction with this entry and I hope to see more from them like this! A patch released the morning of posting this, and I’m hoping the performance issues settle to let what is a strong entry in the pokemon series get attention it deserves.

[dovveri]

Hi dovee how are youuuuu?

I actually feel rly bad for her cuz before they even found out she was trans, there were a lot of men who were being rly degrading to her in her comments and also threatening to start stalking her. Like she had to make a post about how she felt uncomfortable and for them to please stop making threats to her safety. This discourse of men and bear tbh gives me headaches cuz men are so butt hurt that they made a video (ai) of a zombie-like bear (slippery skin if I'm not mistaken) that would "definitely kill women" because its literal goal is to brutalize women but only those who chose bear over men. Like imagine having your ego so hurt that you make this as a response to a hypothetical question that was made to inflate the ego of a man who was trying to flirt. And again, because they fail to have any common sense they can't understand the question and why people answer the way they do😭 I saw a 3-minute long video of a girl explaining the answers so that that kind of men could understand and on the comments, there were still some guys who were like "oh, but the bear would definitely kill you!" like-

HIIIIII OMG my fav person to talk to abt 🤢men🤮 omg i didnt know they were saying that stuff to her even before they found out she was trans? thats terrible omg i genuinely think the less centralised womens lives are around men the more misogynistic they get like did u see the recent bumble billboards? a man HAD to have made that and crazy too as like a response to the 4b movement gaining traction in the west they had to be like “celibacy isnt the answer guys!” like what?!?! u can also be celibate and still date men?? and from BUMBLE too like the platform that was meant to champion women making the first move and everything its so disappointing

ok i recently also watched poor things and i DESPISED it like it got so much love and wtv from being a ‘feminist’ film but um????????? no absolutely the fuck not all it did was champion pedophilia like the director (A MAN) ltr just put all his kinks in one movie and called it feminist bcs it was ‘sexually liberating’ and GOD I HATE THIS ARGUMENT like i HATE that the only thing men have gotten out of the feminist movement is “oh! women enjoy sex too? amazing go women!” like NO SHUT UR ASS UP sexual liberation was important bcs it gave women autonomy about WHO they wanted to have sex with, if they even WANTED to have sex with people, it gave them more purpose to sex than just bearing children it allowed them to enjoy sex just as men have been able to for centuries. but feminism is SOOOO much more than that but ofc thats the only part that men pay attention to right? UGH i ranted abt this film more in my letterboxd review LMAO but i wont text dump here

OMG YES EXACTLY THAT LIKE THE MAN V BEAR QUESTION WAS POSED BY A MAN like exactly what u said he asked it bcs he thought it’d be an easy ego boost since in his head there was no way a woman would choose a bear over him. and this zombie ai thing?? wtf theyre literally going to show EXACTLY what we’re talking about bcs people that r making that are also the ones killing women in video games and normalising violence against women and combining it with sexualisation of women? so its rly if they had the tools to do it they would and THEY HAVE THE TOOLS so no wonder we’re terrified?

last point i swear but the line between lust and anger? is SO CLOSE lots of men dont realise it but they can go from being absolutely in love with someone and willing to do anything for them, to wanting them dead or worse (junko furata)

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[maschotch]

i know the discourse is done so you dont have to answer this if you dont want to, but i think the difference between people not reacting over your jj opinions and people reacting over your hotchreid opinions is when you criticized jj you didnt say people who liked her sucked somehow or that they needed "therapy" for liking a character but with hotchreid you didnt just say oh i dont like it for these reasons you added in "jokes" about the people who would disagree with you

im not even a hotchreid but i know some of my moots who are but don't like the creepy or inappropriate content have gotten anon hate for liking it at all or for not being as supportive of the others and that hate has said a lot of the same stuff you did (and worse)

im not saying that's your fault or that you have to like it or can never talk about it at all, but hopefully knowing means you can make a better informed decision on what to talk about or whatever because i really dont think youre a mean person and want to hurt people, but it's an issue that most people don't care about because they think those people deserve it or it's not a big deal

have a good day!

i hear you! i get why people who have been targeted by hateful anons because of their ship would be sensitive and hyperaware about jokes like that. but?? thats not really my problem?? im sorry people have been mean to you but that doesn’t mean that you guys have to come into my inbox and take it out on me when i was literally just saying my opinion because of an ASK GAME. like its not that deep.

idk if you can tell but a lot of my opinions in this fandom are pretty unpopular. my experiences in other fandoms (like star wars) has made me extremely wary and uncomfortable around people who like shipping young characters with their mentors, so i may be more sensitive than i should be about the topic. but i dont think the actions of other people who agree with me who do target people and send hate justify sending me anon hate saying what ive done is equivalent.

this is going to be the last i say on the matter because i think i was pretty patient yesterday explaining my position—probably more patient than i should’ve been. i really dont want to hurt peoples feelings, so i tried to be genuine and honest about what i meant and why i said what i said the way i said it. and as important as i think it is to be cordial and open to discussion—its very easy to misconstrue intent on social media because it’s not as easy to ask “what did you mean by that?” when something rubs you the wrong way—i also don’t want to let people walk all over me and insist that actually im bullying them for posting an opinion on my blog that they disagree with. if you dont like what i say? unfollow! block, if you must! im not forcing you to see my posts and im not saying everyone has to agree with me

at the end of the day, i keep myself isolated in the fandom. i dont really interact with people because i tend to disagree with a lot of people on a lot of things! so guess what? i dont interact. and believe if or not, but thats actually a great way to avoid seeing the things i dislike! i come here to make my little posts and post my little pictures of scenes i like and write annoying little essays in the tags. this is something i do for me, for myself, so i dont have to spam my friends with all my bullshit. its been great that some people like it, but it wont bother me or offend me if you dont.

[angel-archivist]

THANK FOR THAT POST god i feel the exact same way but i rarely see people talking about it? i also. dislike how the dsmp fandom in particular responds to criticism or negative opinions about dsmp so aggressively, like mate it’s not a personal insult against you because i’m criticizing the racist & ableist youtuber you love and it’s not an excuse to start throwing around terminology you don’t fully understand the connotations of

GOD ANON *SHAKES YOU* YES EXACTLY EXACTLY!!!!!! i can NEVER tell whenever dsmp discourse comes up on my dash if the fandom is reacting uber harshly to genuine criticism of their creators OR if there are people genuinely harassing the cc over nothing its IMPOSSIBLE!!! Like people will downplay EVERYTHING so long as they can continue to enjoy the content produced by their favs!! Like the fact the word hater is RIGHT there and they could 100% just use that??? but instead they take the word ANTI which is a notoriously proshipper associated term. (this isnt to say the suffix anti as a whole is a proshipper associated thing, like i said saying ‘anti- something makes your point more clear instead of vaguely gesturing anti)

Like i NEVER see the full story being told all i see are vague posts that clarify “yes our creator was in the right, no i wont link to what caused this controversy i will not provide an actual clip you have to hear me summarize and insert my opinion”

im super weary of any condemnation of people calling out content creators, especially since i still havent seen any criticism from within the fandom towards the cc and anyone who has so far criticized them is being “extreme or going to far” and there seems to be no?? middle ground. people are like: “i would criticize them if they did something wrong but they havent!” 

A-knee-way i am going 2 go back comfort show fanart 2 calm down!! ty u anon!!

[mariaiscrafting]

idk I think it's all about phrasing. there are certain conventions and expectations with how people interact on Tumblr that is very different from on Twitter. and given what happened recently on Twitter (doxxing, death threats etc) I think it's not weird at all that we think we're a bit better than that.

there are a lot of those welcome posts that I feel like moreso are the posters preference rather than a universal hard rule but ykno. I don't feel like picking a fight over it.

also I do think that mcytblr is aware of its own problems to a certain extent but like if we have newcomers of course we're not gonna collectively bring it up ykno

Hmm. This is a pretty good ask, and I have mixed feelings about it, so let's go through it systematically since what else do I have to do at 6 in the damn morning besides watch more SDV guides?

First, yeah, I guess, but those conventions and expectations are something that should be learned and naturally developed over time, not dictated. There has been a significant rise in Tumblr trying to codify its culture, humor, and types of posts, and frankly, it's kinda ruining the magic a little bit (a lot). A lot of the harmful shit that comes from Twitter that should actually be prevented is only perpetuated by the accessibility Twitter users have to content creators. Attempts to spread doxxes, start cancelling hashtags, and reply nasty things under CC posts are all things that simply won't happen hear, no matter how hard people try, because CCs aren't on here (Ranboo lurking, notwithstanding). Probably the only thing that should genuinely be prevented - because it isn't just an objectively harmless thing that some rando mcytblr user dislikes, and it isn't contingent upon the presence of CCs - has been the tip on not making callout posts. But to pretend that Tumblr is any different from Twitter when it comes to this practice is ridiculous and delusional. Twitter had its fair share of people who would point out how harmful and pointless it is to call out specific users, just as Tumblr throughout the years has had massive issues with people explicitly picking fights with others, and creating and circulating block lists. The latter was a particular problem in this fandom because of its response to EBblr, which has actually significantly grown because of the damned blocklists that were spread. Yes, dissuade new users from engaging in "cancelling other users" practices, but don't act like that is a solely Twitter problem. This kind of attitude is what obliterates the possibility of self-growth within this fandom, it's the same kinda stubbornness that pervaded the homophobia and fetishization discourse from back in January and February, and just as it did then, it will result in very little growth on the greater fandom culture or individuals' actions.

Second, I've come across at least twenty of these posts in the few hours since I logged onto Tumblr tonight, and I think one of them worded their "tips" as things that specific user preferred/would've like to know upon first entering Tumblr. Again, because mcytblr has this superiority complex at its core, it's very easy for that complex to seep into every facet of people's posts and interactions with others, and this is perfectly exemplified in the many posts where personal preference are phrased as objective truths/rules.

Third, good. You are a better person than me, then. I kinda pick fights about everything, it's my thing 😉 (/nm)

Fourth, I think that in many ways, mcytblr was aware of it's own problems. But lately, with the response to the sleepytwt callout thread, the Dream Reddit posts, and the fundamental misunderstanding and ignorance on the part of most of mcytblr on both matters, I'm becoming more and more skeptical of mcytblr's own self-awareness. The fandom is becoming more and more of an echo chamber, and I think that's likely a natural result of that aforementioned superiority complex and the practice of blocking anyone with undesirable opinions. While I much prefer Tumblr's practice of blocking people on sight, to engaging with every person you disagree with just to yell hateful vitriol at them, there's no denying that a distasteful side effect has been the creation of a pretty hardy echo chamber for most of mcytblr. When you never see anyone's criticism, constructive or not, of the media you consume, the creators you adore, or your own practices and actions, there is very little chance you will realize there's something wrong that you need to change in order to grow. I used to like how dynamic and ever changing this fandom space was because it was refreshing; while most Tumblr fandoms I've been a part of since 2014 have been fractured and wont to stay stagnant, this one seemed like one open to self-critique and self-improvement. But as it has continued progressing, we've moved into this stagnant, liminal space that all Tumblr fandoms seem to edge into eventually, and it's pretty disheartening to see. Maybe the newcomers will help kickstart a reversal, maybe they'll only reinforce this shift in mcytblr culture. I have yet to see.

[trashcatsnark]

What’s your opinion on Kerry being available to only male V when it’s mentioned in-game that he’s bi (correct me if I’m wrong, I have terrible memory)?? I feel like they should’ve had bi romance options if they were able to implement both gay and straight ones.

Oh anon, oooooh anon. I love you dearly, but you intentionally or not might as well have thrown lit dynamite in my ask box. This discourse has been such a strange beast within this fandom and I have definitely shared some vague thoughts about it before. I’m putting everything under a read more, to help stave off some....harassment or putting it in people’s lives who may not want it. 

 I still remember I was frankly heartbroken and upset when I first learned Kery wasn’t romanceable by female V when the game first officially came out, but before I played it; River and Panam weren’t even really known about, cause they weren’t talked about much in the promo material,  plus Kerry was shown in romance scenes with what looked to be female V. So, if you go back far enough you’ll find me in December cope posting and being the saddest and angriest of beans, because other than Johnny who I knew was likely off the table. He was one of the only characters I wanted to potentially romance. Now, I’m further away from it, have  processed my feelings regarding it and am more rational I believe regarding the issue. 

But, that being said, a large issue of this sort of discourse is that; no matter what anyone says, someone somwhere is upset. I’ve been insulted, blocked, accused of fetishizing gay men, and so much over my opinion regarding this matter. I’m still currently debating if I even wanna tag this, cause the issue almost always brings negativity to my blog and to me. I have very little interest in being berated for this, so we’ll see how I feel after I finish typing this all out. I’m going to try to go through all my issues, my points, my troubles and feelings about the matter. But, at the end of the day, it is merely my opinion. If someone disagrees, fine, just don’t attack people or berate them over pixels in a video game. Just dont. That’s all I ask. Okay, so I’m gonna divide this into talking points and whatever, now. 

Firstly, Kerry is bisexual. Point blank, period. I’ve seen folks try to argue that his wife was like comphet, which if you dont know means that sometimes exclusively homosexual people will try to force themselves into heterosexual relationships because society has conditioned them to believe they have to be straight. While, I’m not negating the fact that this happens, as a bisexual/pansexual (I use the terms interchangeably to define my experience and feelings)  person I’ve struggled with it when making sense of my attraction to women. It genuinely is something that happens. This is not the case for Kerry; he doesn’t ever hide his attraction to men, between TTRPG lore and the video game he has had two wives , and he is stated by game developers and TTRPG creator to be bisexual.He is bisexual. Getting that out there, saying other wise, in my opinion is a level of bi erasure. That being said, I do still have my grievances with how the game chose to handle his bisexuality and bisexuality as whole, also imo, the game generally doesn’t seem...to treat players who are attracted to men well… 

But before I get into that, I wanna make clear, I feel like Cyberpunk 2077 should have had more romance options for every orientation. If you’re not going to create a player-sexual style of romance; ie where every romanceable character is attracted to the player regardless and wish to focus on each character having their own predetermined sexuality; only have one character for each sexuality is kind of bullshit. If you’re a lesbian player and you’re not into Judy, you get nothing, except a fuck around with Meredith (who I will get to later). You’re a straight woman, but not into River, shit out of luck. You’re a gay man who’s not into Kerry, sucks to suck bud. You’re a straight man who’s not into Panam (kind dont get how you wouldn’t be but who am i to judge), well, you can fuck Meredith… so woooo. Oh also, if you’re not attracted to women, you will still be forced to watch in first person pov a sex scene with Alt and if you want Johnny to like you, you gotta date a girl. Also, all the male love interests will be sidelined mostly…. Hooray… But I digress, either go in with all romance options bi/pan/player sexual, or give more options for romance. Cause now you have the issue of people not getting the partner they hoped for and not liking their only option. Now, you got people trying to make the Judy  bi, which is lesbian erasure and lesbophobic, along with people saying Kerry isn’t bi and can’t be with women which is bi erasure and biphobic. Whereas, if you had just gone in from the get go with either more options or a player-sexual romance system; we wouldn’t be here, CDPR. 

Okay, so next thing, now that I’ve addressed my issues with the entire romance system and that yes, Kerry is bi. Should Kerry have been able to be romanced as female V? Yes and no. Which sounds vague, but I’m going somewhere. With the current set up of it; Kerry being romanceable to a female V would have unfairly given female players an additional love interest over male players. Female V would have the option of Judy, River, or Kerry. And Male V’s would have the option of Kerry or Panam. That’s not fair. I get that, inherently. CDPR painted themselves into a corner, by only letting there be two romances for “each” gender, one for “each” sexuality, and then using a canonically bi character for one of them. They played themselves, they were either gonna have to give an unfair amount of love interest to one side of their gender system or make a bi character who will only pursue one gender. So, they went for the latter. 

Now, some people feel thats fine, because Kerry having a gender preference is fine and its okay for bi people to lean a certain way in regards to gender and its okay for them to not be attracted to people. And that is true. I am a bisexual woman who leans a little more towards men, I get that. However, I have only been given one reason for Kerry’s preference for male V over female V. And it was by a developer of the game who stated that Kerry pursues Male V and not Female V because Male V reminds him more of Johnny… And I hate that. I personally, hate it so deeply, because to me it does a complete disservice to Kerry and V’s relationship and Kerry’s arc. Because even with female V you see him being preoccupied with Johnny and V’s connection to Johnny, then you see him move past that. So, to then state, its still a deciding factor in him romancing V is so wrong to me. Like why???? Why would you do that to people who like Kerry??? Why would you put that in their heads, that Kerry on some level, subconsciously or not, was thinking about Johnny when he decides to romance V. Cause that’s not in the game, in the game you get the vibe he’s moving on past Johnny, like he’s growing, developing, genuinely likes V. But that stupid tweet, just radiates rancid vibes, whyyy???  

And then, outside of that nasty tweet, I have to ask what other reason is there for why he prefers male V over fem V.  They’re...the same characters essentially, just with different pronouns and body type. They also can look like whatever you want; they’re completely customizable. So, Its based off of what the game associates with  gender characteristics and nothing else, meaning, his attraction is rooted solely in their gender and he turns down fem V by virtue of them being a woman and nothing else. Which, yeah, bisexual/pansexual people have preferences but when that preference completely excludes a gender based on nothing but gender…. Uhh????? See my issue???? 

And I’ve seen people saying, well, its better than CDPR playing into slutty will date anybody bisexual stereotypes. But, the thing is...THEY STILL DO THAT which is what drives me up the god damn wall; they managed to do slutty bi stereotypes and I don’t even get kiss the boy, which again, I get the need for fairness but wow, just wow. And lemme explain. 

Meredith is the only character, other than joytoys, whom you can have sex with regardless of gender, body type, etc. She is the only character who shows that she is attracted to V on some level regardless of gender. 

She is a one night stand. Her sex animations are the same as joytoys. She treated like a promiscuous love phobic woman.  And having characters like that is fine, my own V is promiscuous and love phobic. But, we can acknowledge that in a video game by a AAA game company having the only character who is at least physically attracted to the player no matter what, be nothing but sex fodder...isn’t great bi representation, right? 

Oh, and Kerry himself still is a promiscuous bisexual man, he just won’t romance female V because apparently, according to a dev, they don’t remind him of Johnny enough. AND THATS THE DEVS WORDS, NOT MINE, I HATE THAT. Like, Kerry is shown to have people’s lingerie around his house. He’s stated by Johnny to be someone who fucks around. He gets a blowjob from a man in a stairwell. 

The two most blatantly canonically bi character in this game are promiscuous; one wont romance V at all and just wants sex, the other will only romance a male V because at worse, he’s comparing them mentally subconsciously to his dead friend and at best….because….reasons…. Literally, from what I understand for Kerry to romance V, they have to have the “male” body type and “male” voice. Meaning, fem V could literally by all appearances look like masc V, body type wise, but because she uses female pronouns and has a feminine sounding voice...no… the stars say no… 

In my honest opinion, it is bad bisexual representation and a not so well thought out romance system for a game. 

But, that being said, I literally never romance anyone, because I’m a Johnny simp. So, the fuck do I know.

oh god do i tag this.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[vampire-crimson]

Does anyone have the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" post because ive been seeing a lot of that in the past few days

[quarktrinity]

Thank you for your Rich post. I think you added a lot to the fandom. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the Fandom Discourse comes from the source itself. As much as I love BMC, I felt it bit off more than it could chew. Jake's own traumas would take an entire musical itself to truly address; same thing for Rich, Brooke, Christine, etc. Musicals only last for 2 hours or less. [1/4 tictac anon]

“They can only truly address so many things, and it certainly cannot resolve everything it brings up, esp if it's heavy things in a musical such as BMC. Imo, we really shouldn't pretend otherwise. But your Rich post brought up some interesting points. You're right; ultimately, Rich DID decide to light himself on fire inside his friend's house with TONS of classmates inside. And he DID choose to bully Jeremy and likely others. [2/4 tictac anon] However, we see that Jeremy could not see Michael or his messages and was constantly bombarded with distractions. Plus, at the end of the musical, Jeremy's movements were starting to get controlled by the SQUIP! Therefore, it doesn't seem quite black & white. Freewill being compromised due to technology is an uncomfortable subject, but I believe it's something the musical DOES address. [3/4 tictac anon] 

After all, the creators did confirm that the theory of the ending being planned by the SQUIP all along was an intentionally valid theory. Not canon but a possibility. "A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you... hate who they hate." -- when the SQUIP looked like a common bad guy and gave Jeremy more friends in the end. What are your thoughts on that? [4/4 tictac anon]”

----------

this is all very thought out! im impressed, tictac anon!

i understand the feeling that bmc bit off more than it could chew for character complexity, as it would introduce concepts and not have time to follow through on them. however, i think that this is actually a good thing in a way (while it is fair to criticize), because bmc isnt really about those kids, its about jeremy and his navigation through this social world. 

when his peers are introduced, they appear very one dimensional, simple, cartoony almost, but in sync up, jeremys view of them gets turned upside down as the squip reveals to him that theres more to them than meets the eye. throughout the rest of the musical we see, through his perspective, that all of these kids have a lot of baggage, and its never quite dealt with within the story, but thats not why the story revealed the baggage. their baggage isnt dealt with because its not their story, its jeremys. instead, were shown the complexity of these characters solely for the sake of jeremys understanding of them, not for any character arc they might have. this is actually used when jeremy takes advantage of jennas insecurities in “the pitiful children” to get her to take a squip. he tries the same with christine, but fails. the supporting characters are given depth not to develop them, but to show jeremy and the audience that no one is quite as simple as theyd like you to believe.

on the subject of free will, i think it is an interesting topic the musical discusses (i even consider it psychological horror in a way), but i genuinely dont think that rich was always forced against his will to bully kids. he mightve been a few times, but its definitely not a constant. the reason i think this is that from jeremys experiences, the squip mainly gives him advice, and uses brute force to prove a point to him (see: when the squip forces jeremy to say “my dad drinks too” to show that lying is often the best way to make a friend). brute force is used to establish a cause and effect for jeremy, so he can initiate the process on his own in the future. people might wonder why jeremy snapped at michael at the party, but its really quite obvious: jeremys been conditioned by the squip to engage with that behavior. even when its shut off, the lessons the squip taught him remain. i believe the same process occurred with richs bullying. his squip, at first, mightve forced rich to bully someone, only to show rich that it would result in people liking him, so hed do it on his own later. the squips seem to only resort to brute force when being threatened by their hosts, so i doubt hes just a puppet in strings all the time.

and, as a person whos written 4 musicals (humble-brag intended), i can say with confidence that people can come up with interpretations or theories about your work that you definitely didnt intend, but wont reject because, as any playwright knows, all of what you know about the story is whats in the script. there are no secrets here, no hidden lore, everything in the script is what the story is. so when joe tracz was approached with the “the squip intended the ending the whole time” theory, he probably thought “oh shit! thatd be so cool! cant confirm nor deny that, regardless of my intentions, because technically it would work within the script!” in fact, with any particular production, the director might actually know more about the story of their specific production more than the writers, and the actors will definitely know more about their characters than the writers do. thats something i find really beautiful about theatre as a story-telling medium.

so that theory probably wasnt intended, but that doesnt mean its not true! the events behind the script are always up to anyones interpretation, whether thats the writers themselves, the directors, the actors, or even the audience!

thanks for sending me these asks, they were really fun to answer!

[littlebabycrybtch]

no offense but. ofc exclusionists hate ace teens, they literally run on the idea that it’s somehow harmful to support groups that they can deem ‘don’t need it’ as an excuse to not have to care about certain groups struggles. they’re not gonna be able to get the concept that its healthy to give somebody (especially young people) support and a safe environment and how this can benefit them while they’re experiencing something alienating, Even if they change their mind later. a lot of them are also brainwashed into genuinely just assuming our community is this toxic little bigotry hellhole or w/e even though,,,,, literally most of us are minorities and lgbt+ oriented aces make up the Largest percentage of our group by a Mile and all we do p much aaall the fuckin time is try and support each other, make cute harmless ace content that’s Cringey(TM) at Worst and attempt to discuss how bad rape culture is but. nah too late the ones that already Know that and still benefit from this harmful idea are also pissed that we’re trying to be a positive accepting community that continues to grow and better ourselves bc then it makes them look worse for all the horrible unnecessarily hateful shit they say bout us and try to excuse it as ‘aces bad’ of course lmao. 

so anyways tbh, if you’re an adult literally no matter What your sexuality is you have no, None, 0% say in what a child gets to identify as unless you’re providing support for them. signed an ace that had figured it out as a teen who’s literal only downside to this realization was being Constantly harassed by exclusies as i was trying to understand myself like. goddd it didnt fucking hurt me to see a goddamn cake meme or an ace icon man, but Boy it sure fuckin did to get called ableist slurs by grown ass adults for thinking im allowed to know what my identity is a little earlier than most people !! and ffs yall Stop tryna dictate what my pain was from, im not asking, it was you, you were the only thing fucking me up in this equation and you can fuck All the way off if you try to tell me otherwise or make Any more ace teens go through that for the sake of having ur shitty fuckin discourse. cuz if all you see this post as is ‘annoying’ and not something important that makes you look at your actions critically, then its really not about ‘protecting the kids’ is it, its about getting to hate the adult aces and not wanting to Worry about traumatizing kids in the process, but alas they exist and you telling them Not to wont lessen their suffering from you hating them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[19possums-blog]

On tianshan relationship and their fandom, i guess ?

hello there @nightfayre !! Im the 5asks anon lol (the one abt the last chapter of tianshan). I wanted to thank you for your answer and continue to rant in your askbox but i figured it was so long that mb it would crash ur box lmao, so I... kind of created a blog..... hm. well theres no bad reasons to create an account is there lol ?? (also is there no way to send a long ask ?? why is it so limited :(( )

So once again thank you for anwser, and what an answer ! You raised many points i didnt think about and that was very interesting. I knew i would be glad to hear your thoughts ! the rest under a read more coz i think its going to be looong lol

(( To do a sort of disclaimer : I despise fandom discourse and im more of the mentality “let ppl enjoy what they want as long as it dont hurt real life ppl”, and “dont like dont interact”. So everything im going to say is not an attack against anyone, but just a way of prolonging a manhwa that i like. Most of all, i want to emphasize that at the end of the day, its just a manhwa : it doesnt justify being mean or aggressive towards other real life ppl. If you find yourself raging while reading fandom wank, just stop reading, block, and go outside a little. My way of enjoying the manhwa is to be analytical, to criticize (positively and negatively) and to look at the material source as well as the fandom in itself ; if its (understandably lol) not your definition of fun, this post may not be for you !))

Ur totally right in saying that the hardest thing is separate morality, reality and fiction. I hope my asks didn't come across as a 'u shouldnt like tianshan bc its not morally good'. There is a lot of puritan push back on tumblr lately, and im totally against it. Everyone is free to like/ship what they want ; reading only ‘morally good’ literature wont prevent you to become a nasty person - i would argue itd be the exact opposite, as your spirit wont be trained to think critically or to evaluate a situation (and every situations is always grey) by your own means. Also, its important to separate fantasies/what you like to read and who you are/what you do. To be embarrassingly honest, and like many people, one of my sexual fantasy is rape ; but in my real life, im in a queer anarchist collective that actively fights against rape culture and defends rape victims. That is why i dont have a problem with SheLI/Mo shippers (or even HeCheng/SheLi shippers) even if its not my cup of tea, but i would have a problem if in real life (irl) ppl would say to irl Mo that irl SL is good for him (or if they wouldnt find it wrong that a irl 30yo Cheng is involved wt an irl 15yo Li). I digress.

But then again this confusion about fiction/reality/morality is at the core of the tianshan fandom -and many fandoms. I dont know about you, but i grossly see 3 types of ‘trends’ depending on how ppl interact with the source material  :

1.The ones who think you cant like something while being critical of it. I love 19 days but I think there are flaws in it, beyond tianshan dynamic (like how OX handles the transition between funny and dramatic moments –I think its badly done). It doesn’t mean I personally hate OX and wish harm to their family oc. Worse than this, the ones who, because they dont like certain things in 19 days, feel free to harass OX on their social media.  Here its a confusion between fiction and reality and a lack of critical thinking.

2. the ones that loves Tianshan because they think it fits the trope “Dark, handsome, tortured violent boy who is violent towards fragile, sweet, pure cute boy because he loves him” and the typically associated trope “the pure boy will change the violent boy by the pureness of his heart”. Aka the most common yaoi trope. Again, if it pleases people to see Tianshan like this, good for them and i hope they have a nice time reading 19 days. Lets face it, I love really bad yaoi and books. Its just not how i see tianshan at all, but to each their own. I just have a problem when these ppl insist that its an ok behavior to have in real life and say things like “possessiveness is a proof of love” uncritically (hint : it isnt). For me, its the difference between enjoying fast food (thats okay), and wanting to force everyone to eat fast food and to find it pleasurable (not okay).

3. the ones that think what you like in literature defines who you are, and so in order to be a “good person” you have to only like “morally good litterature” -there are the ones I personally find the more interesting bc they can ask good questions. But alas, in most cases its just puritanism badly disguised and currently they are in all fandoms. Lets not delve into the issue of this statement : what is ‘morally good’ ? who are in the authority to proclaim what is good ? how can you recognize what is ‘morally good’ if you dont see what is ‘morally not good’ ? is it literature’s responsibility to educate its audience ? do literature have to point out “watch out audience what just happened is not okay” as if we were brainless children ? whats more important : what you like reading or what you do irl ? .... Okay i totally delve into this lmao. Here its a confusion between fiction and morality and a rejection of critical thinking : we could say its like when the Catholics prohibited women from reading bc it would pervert them and think of the children).

Returning to the specifics of what we've been talking about  : so in this last case, you (generic ‘you’) think that you are a good person ; so you have to read morally good literature. So in this case, fandom isnt just a harmless hobby, but a proof of how you are morally good, imagine the stakes ! But alas, you happen to like 19 days and most specifically tianshan. You said (@nightfayre​ ) that you judge Tianshan unhealthy as they are now, and i wholeheartedly agree with you, so im not going to discuss why since you already explained it so well. So, what happens when you like a morally not good ship, but you think liking morally dubious things makes you a bad person ? You bent over backwards to explain that, in fact, this ship is morally good, to protect your integrity. And thats why, in 19days fandom since the last chapter (and its the same thing with every chapter where flaws of HT are revealed!), there are many posts going around “hm, in fact, what He Tian did is good ! i know it can seems like hes a violent asshole who dont respect MGS because he punches him, threatens him, and dont listen to him, but hm.... in fact its because he’s nice...” and then they do mental gymnastics to justify what is, obviously, not morally justifiable. And i find its a pity because, my guy, my buddy, nobody is going to throw you tomatoes if you like a morally dubious character, and also bc nothin is morally good ! everybody does what they think is the best in ‘problematic situations’ ! and thats what make life interesting ! and so, 19 days interesting ! The flaws of HT (and MGS) are what drawn ppl to his character, bc it makes him real, its makes him contradictory, we can project ourselves in him, and we can see a complicated character with awesome latent potential. And yes, treating someone like a territory bc you care about them is a flaw lol. (on this subject : i saw ppl saying that its protectiveness and not possession : if you protect someone like you would protect a territory, then its not a healthy protection. you deal with a human whose agency you must respect, contrary to a territory).

MGS and HT are the product of what happen to them in their early childhood and then their adolescence. Like you said, they grow up in a violent, twisted world, where being emotionally distant is the norm. I would even say that they are expected to conform to the standards of (toxic) masculinity : channel all your emotions into anger, caring is being weak and feminine, prove your worth by your physical strength, be in control in all ur relationship, etc. I would say thats why Mo is so hostile towards HT : HT challenges his masculinity, by seducing him (everyone know that the biggest fear of macho men like HT and Mo is being considered gay -_-) and being stronger than him. Lets face it, Mo has kind of a homophobic issue, like all the boys. Between JY who tells HT its disgusting being told hes handsome by a man (at the beginning of the manhwa, i hope by now he had grown out of it), or Mo who tells HT he isnt happy that a guy is on his bed or who desperately wants to prove his heterosexuality by saying he likes all cute girls to his baldy friend... HT is more nuanced, but at the end, when he ‘seduces’ Mo, its always predatory. He doesnt let himself being vulnerable and he aggressively touches Mo even without his consent. For me, its a way of proving his domination, not his interest (and when i say that, i dont mean that HT is not genuinely interested in Mo -just that his actions dont translate this). ZZX is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with his masculinity lol, but then hes the healthy one in all aspects (thats why i dont like his character and am not invested in zhanyi, even if irl i would love to be his friend).

With all that being said, oc HT wont know how to adequately express genuine concern and interest in Mo ! This sort of social interactions is not something you just know, its smth you learn. And in HT and Mo’s cases, nobody was there to teach them -we could even say that ppl in their life made them unlearn caring behaviors. So HT does what he does best : he fights and forces, and is surprised when Mo thinks (obviously) HT is evil. And also, like you said, Mo will never be (at least how he is now) a driving force in their relationships bc he will always run away from bonding with ppl. So here we are, HT being the only driving force in their relationship, the same HT who only knows violence. No wonder that their relationship is like this...

As it is, i feel like tianshan is kind of in an impasse right now. One or the other is going to have to evolve if we want to see their relationships changing. Either HT learns how to care without being violent (seems complicated if Mo doesnt challenges him, bc HT isnt going to realize this without feedback since its how he has always functioned), or, more likely, Mo is going to be honest with him and tell him that his behavior is hurting him. Though more probable, I dont see it happening anytime soon : for one, Mo isnt capable of seeing when he is hurting emotionally and what is hurting him ; and also, bc Mo doesnt know any other language than violence, not unlike HT. I think its smth most of the fandom ignore, how violence is smth that HT and MGS both have in common, and how if HT wasnt violent, MGS certainly wouldnt consider him at all.

Anw im excited to see where OX is going with all this ! Like you said, the forced kiss was pivotal to their relationship, so im kind of hoping it would be the same here ! I just hope they wont... do like usual and just put a funny chapter and ignore this latest development.....

OMG i wrote soo much and there is so much i still want to say.... i think im going to do a second post... sorry about the spam lmao

( @nightfayre : i dont know how this site works yet, is @ you alright ? will it show you my post in your notif or should i send an ask ?  bc i want you to see my answer, but i dont want you to feel pressurized to respond or interact or anything !! above all dont feel pressurized, i was sad last night when you wrote ‘im sorry to not answer more quicly’ bc you should answer at your own rhythm or not answer ! your blog is a hobby, not an obligation, so dont feel bad to not do more when yo already do much !! )

[theorderofthetriad]

okay, I actually just wanna make my whole own post for the tags I wrote on this post:

#there is a mega-extreme left that wants all the crazy things the right is scared of #but its literally just me taking everything to the extreme #in part bc of Hari Kondabolu's bit about how if Obama had proposed something more extreme than medicare for all #then we would have medicare for all right now #the problem is the reasonable leftist demands need to be paired with completely fucking erroneous far leftists demands #that even the moderate left thinks is extreme #and those demands will pull the discourse further and further left #which by the way this is exactly what the right has been doing since i was a fucking kid. #currently we think of bernie and aoc as far left as the political discourse goes and thats exactly the problem #we need people even further left than that because bernie and aoc need to be seen as moderate by comparison

Here's the Hari Konabolu bit I was referencing.

Now some of you might be thinking "Well, Hari Kondabolu, that proposal sounds so unreasonable." Yes, and if we had started with it, we'd have the Public Option by now.

This is a tactic I've grown up watching the right using, and it's fucking worked. The political discourse has swayed so much further right because we have republicans so unreasonable that the democrats have had to compromise further and further to the right. There is a reason the right has these politicians that to the left seem like complete fucking jokes that make these absolutely batshit statements and have seemingly absurdly extreme positions.

Political discourse has been so warped towards the right that there are people who genuinely believe Joe Biden is far left. Joe Biden.

Honestly, we need people to bring actually extreme leftist ideas into the political discourse, ones that will make a pearl-clutching right-winger literally shit themselves in fear. I've been on tumblr for over ten years I know you freaks have some out there political opinions. Well it's time for you to take those opinions on your tumblr and bring them into more public forums like town halls and city council meetings and letters to your politicians. Hell, if you're up for it, run for fucking office (though I would do that with caution because you might split the vote and cause a conservative win, or you might actually win.)

Not sure what sort of extreme position you should be touting? Think about what you want and make it a notch or two (or three, or four, or five...) more unreasonable.

For instance "I want medicare for all!" could become "I want to completely dismantle the private healthcare industry and built a government run system from the ground up. Also I want every current and former private healthcare executive to be charged for the murder of every patient that died because they could not afford care."

And if you read the extreme version nd thought "Well, actually I do want that." Perfect! Go out and preach that shit from your heart!!!! You wont get it, at least not this decade, but it'll bring us all closer to something better than the now that sucks.

And ya know what? The right is already making extreme accusations against us for having reasonable views like "lgbt kids should be supported" so we can actually just spout our extreme views with impunity because they're already calling us the worst possible things they could. The right is wasting their hard hitting insults on moderate positions (which is literally just another example of being extremist to pull the discourse further to your side) so when they call you a marxist p**o you can just be like "yeah but you also called Joe Biden that so... *shrug emoji*"

[pclungs]

ok talked to a friend abt the pan stuff i think ik how i feel now. the pan label has an inherently biphobic past that im angry about but if you are someone who agrees that bi/pan mean the same thing and ID as pan, i need you to understand that bi ppl have the right to be angry about the label and you should not speak over them. at the same time it sits wrong with me when i see ppl harassing ppl who use the pan label like suibaiting or clogging up their asks/messages because the whole point is to discuss its problematic nature isnt it? like i get it im angry too i would talk about this more if it didnt make me feel gross but what are you really doing whats the end goal ? just like express that anger through your own posts and if ur able to, discuss to pan ppl why the label is an issue. it can uproot a lot of uncomfortable biphobic stuff so ik thats hard to do at the same time esp if ur like me and having to discuss ur own rights feels degrading. and you should be allowed to be openly angry but harassment is a waste of ur own time that ur spending on someone you dont like! take care of yourself instead. im ok with ppl who dont like the pansexuality label following me. if you're pansexual and following me i still recognize you as another queer person and i'm not gonna run you off for that ONLY if you agree that bi/pan mean the same thing. and even then you need to look within yourself and ask if you are choosing that label because you think it is somehow better than bisexuality in any way. and if at the end of the day you are truly a loud advocate for bisexuals then you can stay but im still side-eyeing you for your choice. i'm not going to talk shit about pan ppl as a whole personally because i would feel like i am talking behind the back of ppl close to me like my brother who i genuinely believe actively helps bi ppl speak out for themselves. he's like my best friend and he was the very first person to not only accept me as bi but to encourage me to talk about it and in turn i unintentionally helped him come out to my parents. im not here to spend my whole discourse online esp if i got loved ones who ID as pan. you can talk shit abt pan ppl you have right to that anger but i wont participate in it myself