#i wonder if the clowns blood tastes funny to them

[jennycalendar]

2, 5, 8, 11, 15, and 16 for my special little cryptid girl Evie!!

gabby i love you ,,,,,

2. what would their blood taste like to vampires?

within the timeline of the fic, evie’s blood tastes strangely electric and arcane — not in a way that suggests it contains power but in a way that suggests there is something wrong. wonder what that’s about 🙃 without that situation, though, i think her blood would taste kinda fruity. somehow simultaneously sustaining and light.

5. what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

oh man uhhh does evie even HAVE a tent? she’s a ranger, she’s metal, she tries to travel as light as possible so she can always pick up and run. she sleeps either under the stars by herself OR as close to the tent of the person she’s watching over as possible. guard dogs don’t need tents (real evie riverborn sentence & sentiment)

8. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

evie is barely literate tbh. she sometimes gets a little jumpy when someone is talking to her in such a way that it’s implied she has to sit still and pay attention, so reading aloud doesn’t always work great for her either. that said, i think after some time if astarion starts loudly reading aloud to no one at all, she will sit nearby like a little cryptid and pretend she isn’t listening. she likes learning things.

11. what are their thoughts on clowns?

evie was actually in a circus for a few years!! she has a higher tolerance for weird clown shit than most people specifically because of this. clowns to her are just that guy you see at the grocery store sometimes. they do not register as anything unusual to her. she will not find them funny but (i cannot stress this enough) this is because, in her eyes, laughing at a clown is like laughing at some random normal man on the street. why would you do that. he’s hardly interesting enough to merit a giggle.

15. what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

“Amara’s Pants: Tight and well-worn. The only real clothing Evie seems to own.”

(worth noting also that evie would not have a necklace slot—she’d have one unremovable necklace instead.)

16. what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

“Evie’s Corset: Black lace and frills. It doesn’t look like anything Evie would have picked herself.”

[fuzzydreamin]

Porter Gage Voice Lines

“Blammo!”

I got your "sensor anomaly" right here!

Keep your irradiated ass away from me!

{throwing a grenade} Blammo!

Shit, that's bright. Some people have no manners.

Aw god, I think I just went blind in one eye...

Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up.

You think the maid service here is taking on new clients? They do a bang-up job.

Yeah, this is fine. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.

You, uhh, you getting the creeps? Yeah, me neither.

Well, this is filthy. And not the fun kind.

Ever seen a dust angel? Bet you I could make one.

Somebody really needs to work on their redecorating skills.

Ever seen a grenade shoved up a brahmin's backside? Kinda looks like this...

I can't lie - I've made messes bigger than this in my day.

Nope... Just... nope. Nasty.

I may not know what any of this shit does, but I know if it's shiny, it's worth somethin'.

I ain't ever been much good with machines, or tech, or... whatever the fuck this all is.

We ain't dead, right? I'm actually seeing this?

Well, shit. Guess I needed a bath anyway.

You get caught, there's liable to be a fight. I ain't complainin', just sayin'.

Look, I know I complain about stuff but, do we really gotta go in there?

Well, this beats hoofin' it. Let's fly.

Can't lie - if you break something, I'm likely to laugh.

You need that? I could always hold on to it for you...

Blammo. That's what you get for pissing off the Overboss.

You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up yet.

You look like shit. More than usual, I mean. Took a few too many rads...

Heh, most folks I know can't even read. Glad you're not most folks.

Why don't you just chop your arms off and give those away, too?

Need a bandage for that bleeding heart of yours?

Why not invite 'em over for dinner while you're at it. Maybe hand 'em a knife and ask 'em to stab you in the back...

Even if it don't get you anywhere, it's funny as hell.

Here? Like, right here? I'm kidding. Go.

And that's why you start off by shooting them in the face.

So many chumps, so little time...

Oh man, good thing this place exists. Our rock shortage is solved!

On the good side, this is where they keep all the fun toys. On the bad side, everyone else knows it too.

Believe it or not, this is still more civilized than some places I've lived.

Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the Institute hasn't tried to replace you with a synth? I mean, c'mon, I'm important... I'm worth replacing.

I always thought it was better to take hostages for ransom, rather than, y'know, eating... but to each his own.

Hey, what do you know. Another big monument to shit that doesn't matter anymore.

Oh, great. These clowns again?

No question that some shit was built to last. Maybe the wrong shit, but still.

What do you call it when this thing is still around, only there ain't no one to remember what it's for? Is that what they call irony?

Yeah, suppose I needed a break from actually having a good time anyway. You know where to find me.

Looks like someone forgot to spray for bugs...

Get your blood somewhere else, vermin!

Dog(meat) got his ass kicked, didn't he?

You ever wonder why these things got so damn big? Like they weren't disgusting enough...

One of these bugs ever takes me down, you tell people I died from tripping over my gun, falling off a cliff... Anything. It'd be less embarrassing.

I ain't saying I've been desperate enough to eat mole rat, but... well, I ain't sayin' it.

Cook anything long enough, and it doesn't taste so bad. Molerat might be the exception to that.

Hope you can hold your liquor, 'cause I ain't carrying you.

I've seen too many guys get wasted because they were wasted. You get me?

Think about it - if beer is still good after 200 years, is it really something you want to be drinking?

[ikkaku-of-heart]

When the news had gotten out that the newly-formed Cross Guild had put out bounties on Marines, naturally the Hearts had jumped on it. Not because they needed the money, as they had full access to any riches beneath the ocean that most pirates could only dream of reaching, but out of the petty desire to make some Marines suffer. To put the shoe on the other foot, as it were, and give the Navy a taste of their own medicine. That, and after the clusterfuck that was Wano, they needed something light, easy, and fun that would let them relax a bit. Dealing with not only the Straw Hats, but going up against an army led by two Yonko, had sent their collective blood pressure skyrocketing. Marine hunting sounded like a grand old time, regardless of any monetary gain.

Still, despite knowing that they were on a pirate-friendly island where they were relatively safe for the first time since Zou, Ikkaku wasn't exactly thrilled with the situation. Mostly because they were basically in a circus and surrounded by clowns. That, and Crocodile pulling Law aside for "a chat" had her wondering if they'd be getting pulled into more trouble instead of heading to some tropical paradise like she'd hoped.

So, spying Mihawk perched up and away from the commotion, she decided she'd join him and see if that might help her relax. He was pretty good company, regardless of Kogatana being held to her throat that one time. He was an interesting man who was capable of making her think. She liked that. And his fashion sense was a breath of fresh air after the gaudy costumes of Buggy and his crew.

Funny how such a dangerous man seemed to be the closest she'd be getting to her desired vacation.

"I am rather slighted," Ikkaku grumbled, plopping herself down on the other end of the couch. It was big enough to fit them both, and frankly, she wasn't worried - if Mihawk wanted her dead, he could have killed her the second she scaled the loft. Resting her head against the plush, cushioned back, she sighed. It was a comfy couch. No wonder Mihawk had decided to roost up here. "On my home island, we set circus tents and clowns on fire on principle. Instead, I'm sitting in one while my captain talks business with a clown's so-called subordinate. This is not how I expected my day to be going. Nor yours, I'm guessing."

Turning her head, the engineer raised a sassy eyebrow at Mihawk as she pointed at him, tone somewhere between playful and accusatory. "Speaking of, don't try and tell me you and Crocodile down there actually work for Buggy. I ain't buying it. You both have way too much self-respect for that. He's riding your coattails, and you're letting him, otherwise he'd be long dead by now." Her assessment came from a mix of respect for the two ex-Warlords and a lack of it for the "genius" jester. The former had to be playing the long game or something to put up with this.

Looking at the World's Greatest Swordsman up and down, Ikkaku did manage to smile a bit. "At least he's not making you dress up in some ridiculous circus getup. Then he'd definitely be dead. Or at least I'd hope so. I refuse to live in a world where you lose your excellent fashion sense."

@ikkaku-of-heart sent:

"There are hypocrites everywhere" (for Mihawk?)

It had been quite awhile since Mihawk had encountered Ikkaku. How times have changed since they had crossed paths . The dismantling of the Warlord system had overthrown his life-- and the world into a completely new direction. While Mihawk still had his reservations about the Cross Guild, it somehow had brought him out of his routine way of life and provided him some entertainment. Mihawk had lived comfortably, and alone, at the top of the ladder for so long that at some point he had forgotten that he could keep climbing higher.

The Heart Pirates had arrived on Kari Bari to turn in some bounties-- perhaps they were a bit down on their luck? Regardless, the Cross Guild gave the crew the bounty payouts they were owed and with Kari Bari being a pirate island, the Heart Pirates were also welcomed to stick around for as long as they didn't stir up trouble. In fact, it seemed that Crocodile had sat Law aside to have a conversation Mihawk didn't care to know much about or be involved in.

Mihawk sat on a large, plush couch, up a level and away from the riff raff below. Perhaps Ikkaku had the need to escape as well, as she had found her way to his loft, and quite honestly he didn't mind the company. For as brief as their interactions have been-- one involving a knife to the throat, he actually quite enjoyed her. He found her amusing in the way a cat would a mouse. His lips quirked upward at her comment, "You sound rather slighted."

[katkalis-the-fanartist]

how do the Vampire watchers interact with the other monsters if they had too?Got any headcanons?

I actually do have a few, yeah 👀

Vampire watchers interacting with:

Murder monkeys: They know that murder monkeys are made of gears and gadgets and have no blood, but sometimes a super feral vampire may swoop at a murder monkey if they're super thirsty because they may mistake it for Emmet at first glance, whom a good few of them know has tasty blood.

Agatha: One tried to prey on her once, pulling the whole "keep prey calm by acting nice" method and waiting for a chance to bite, but Malak ended that sucker fast. That vampire watcher no longer exists nor does their soul, and they all definitely avoid Agatha now. Also Agatha has dull, tar-like "blood" anyhow, which isn't nice tasting at all.

Dread duckies and Doom ducky: None of them are even a small bit tempted to go after any duck. If they did, for one there would be no blood, and for two, they'd be an annoyance with their pesky inner mouth. With doom ducky, hell they may even be grabbed and slammed around. They know not to mess with it.

Clown gremlins and goliath clowns: Alright, if vampire watchers made it into the carnevil somehow, those little nuts better run because they look like colorful assorted candy to these guys. Easy pickings. Goliath clowns however, those are a threat, since they can easily grab a vampire watcher and throw it. A goliath clown and a vampire watcher is like a human and a...big, armored mosquito? Though sometimes, if a goliath clown is asleep, and a vampire watcher is super quiet, they may be able to get a feeding without it noticing. The same way vampire bats feed on livestock: their fangs are so sharp that the cut they make on the large entity isn't even noticeable. Of course with smaller prey, this isn't the case at ALL.

Reaper nurses and the Matron: Vampire watchers know that there's blood in the hospital, in bags AND in the nurses. Nurses sometimes have to fight to keep vampire watchers from entering, any normal gold watchers in the hospital at the time assisting in defense as well. They can usually fend them off, as the vampires eventually leave and search for an easier meal. If one happened to get inside, they'd still be attacked by the hospital residents, and if the Matron is nearby, unless there are multiple vampires to distract her, they're gonna die.

Joy Joy Gang and the clones: Animatronics with no blood, yet sometimes the crazier, more desperate vampires may snatch an animal up and bite it, either breaking it or severely damaging it. They always make more, so this isn't a huge deal, but sometimes it still bothers the original three animatronics, and they'll order clones to overwhelm any vampiric attackers if there's a bothersome ruckus going on.

Mama bear and the trigger teddies: Only a STUPID vampire watcher is gonna get anywhere near MAMA BEAR. Her power is well known, and if a vampire watcher were to even stare at one of her precious babies, it's getting smashed. Besides, if they bit a teddy, they'd get a face full of explosion. It may not hurt them too terribly, but it's quite a nasty surprise nonetheless. If one tries this and gets this trap, they probably won't make the same mistake again.

Malak: Simple. They don't mess with him. If they see him, they flee. Or ignore him if he isn't specifically trying to kill one of them.

Bierce: She's able to damage them and defend herself with magic, to the dismay of the vampire AND Malak. But maybe someday, one of them will be able to outsmart her...

[blueeyedangell]

!!! SPN SPOILERS AHEAD !!!

hey clowns! so i’m here to hopefully give more affirmation that cas is going to be coming back in 15x20. now- i’m in no way saying that we will 100% see cas in 15x20 but i will give you said information and allow you to come to your own conclusions.

i’ve noticed since 15x19 i just can’t stop feeling very unsatisfied and overall bad about the ending. after watching it there was a pit in my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth, and it just didn’t feel like a real ending. not an ending to a show that has 15 years worth of build up. i have to agree with what i’ve seen on here since then, that 15x19 was meant to leave a bad taste in your mouth. from dabb himself he said:

 “For the most part, we wrap up a big chunk of our mythology in Episode 19…Episode 20 is more character-based and is more concerned with Sam, Dean and this family they’ve built around them than it is with figuring out the Case of the Week.”

from this, i take that 15x19 wasn’t meant to seal the bookends of our favorite characters. 15x19 was meant to seal the end of the mythology, the end of their fight with god they built up, what would happen to jack and amara, etc. in episode 20, we will see the family that they have around them, and cas was recently just carved into the table at the bunker and officially made apart of the family (take that as you will). 

from a story perspective, there is nothing else left to wrap up. chuck is human, jack has restored humanity, and unless we’re gonna see a filler-hunter episode of two bros for the very last episode of a show that’s been airing for 15 years, just doesn’t make any sense. i know the writer’s of supernatural can be ignorant and bad, but that bad? to ruin the last episode of a historic tv show and leave one of the biggest plot holes probably ever? maybe so, and if that happens, then it does. but, let’s move on to happier things!

as we can all probably agree, 15x19 didn’t feel like the ending. but this is because it isn’t supposed to! looking at some photos we have from this season, this was a promo poster for season 15, sam and dean driving off into the sunset in a field but there’s a giant ring of fire. not to also mention they’re driving off on a gravel road through a field, and if you know about the barn promo photos (keep these in mind) and the photo of misha in an onion field, as well as the photo misha took with robert wisdom (uriel), they were in field locations. could i be giving the writers too much credit? maybe. am i gonna believe that? probably not.

now where have we seen this before? well, a few place a matter of fact. the first one that is probably most similar to the promo is this:

okay, i know this is a lot of information to take in, so let’s take a break, breathe in, breath out, think of something that makes you happy, and let’s get back into it.

now i don’t know about you but those two look pretty similar, and the gif quality really doesn’t do the real scene justice. but as we see, this is the scene when ruby is pulled out of the empty to talk to cas; i already did a whole post about how she plays into cas coming back here. 

another place we’ve seen the fire aspect is, again, in the season 15 title card. i know i haven’t shut up about it, but it really makes no sense for them to use the empty as their major theme, especially with it burning up on the title card, and really have so many open-ended, untied bookends with such a major aspect. not to mention dabb created the empty, and he also wrote the confession as well as 15x20, would he really leave a vital character to this season’s story unfinished so messily?

remember those barn promo photos i was telling you about? well i looked at them for the longest time and even edited the photos to get better lighting, and either that is the exact same barn from 4x10 or they built a replica of that barn. in 4x10, we see castiel and uriel (wink wink), and it’s also the famous moment when they’ve come to take anna from dean and sam. dean and anna have the big kiss and of course the whole, *cas looking down sadly even though he barely knows this human and he’s a strong angel solider*. then again, the empty is angel and demons worst regrets and sorrows playing on repeat. it’s funny that we would have so many coincidences adding up, but of course, it really could just be a coincidence (excuse the bad image quality, it’s 2008 style).

i mean the little things of course like the barn door and the pillars, but i mean the stair case in the exact same place? i’m not sure who the masked men could be, it could either be just a monster hunting case, or it could be monsters who are from the empty or demons helping them or who knows? all i know is their placements looks like it mirrors the placements of people in 4x10. 

plus in the photo of misha and robert, what looks to be behind robert through the window of the truck? is that... house?? that maybe has a barn?? okay maybe that’s a stretch.

to sum it all up, it’s a lot of speculation from everyone because we really just don’t know right now. we can guess, we can look into what they’re giving us, but we’ll just have to wait until thursday to come and show us what the ending is really gonna look like. but- i have hope that the writers, cast, and crew know the show, and it’s fans. we just hope that that is enough to take us through the home stretch and bring us back home to the main point of the story; that it may have started out as two brothers but along the way, after fifteen years on the road and so many wonderful people, they’ve learned that- well, “family don’t end in blood”.

[thefreakydeaky]

"Another?" Simon made to pour you a shot of rum.

You covered your glass and shook your head.

Dwight's hand landed heavy on your shoulder.

"Come on, Y/l/n. You gotta be able to hold your liquor if ya wanna run with this crowd." His thin lips were pulled up in an uncharacteristic smile.

You chuckled lightly and held your cup out to Simon.

"I get the feeling, I'm being tested."

Simon only smirked.

"Well y'all sons of bitches are in for a surprise. My blood used to be 90 proof."

Dwight snickered.

You couldn't help but turn your gaze in the direction of the man who's approval you needed the most.

Negan watched on, not the barest hint of a smile on his lips. You sat up straight as you held up your glass.

You gave Negan a nod of respect, "To the good health and prosperity of El rey del sur, Our King of The South."

His dark eyes narrowed at your words.

The men around you remained half frozen, unsure how the enigmatic man would take your speech.

The corner of his mouth twitched. It was the closest you'd ever gotten to a smile from him. He nodded and the celebration resumed.

Your eyes followed the movement of his body as he stretched out his long legs, crossing them at the ankle.

There was only one thing Negan had that you truly envied, the luxury of being his authentic self.

Hazel eyes glared right at you. You looked away.

As the night wore on, the saviors began to trickle out of Negan's sitting room and into the adjacent rooms with some of the wives.

Crude sounds and lusty moans pervaded the air.

And then there were three. You thought sharing an awkward laugh with Dwight.

"Welp," He said standing. "It's getting late. I better turn in."

Your gaze strayed to Negan and found that somehow you were only the width of a sofa cushion away from him.

Your shoulders tensed.

His olive and honey eyes met yours, a dare in their depths.

"I'll walk you." You offered to Dwight and started to stand.

You swayed and would have lost your balance if Negan's hands hadn't suddenly been there to steady you.

"He can walk himself. Can't you, D?" His husky voice interrupted. His hands on your hips eased you back into your seat.

"Uh, Yeah. Thanks, Y/l/n, but I'm good."

You frowned, but didn't protest.

"Night." Dwight said again and left you alone with Negan.

Although he was no longer touching you, you could feel him staring.

You uncrossed and recrossed your arms over your chest.

"You are so tense right now, I bet if I stuck a lump of coal up your ass, I'd have a big fucking diamond by sunrise."

"What're you gettin into the jewelry business?" You huffed.

"Your little comedy act might work on my saviors, but it ain't getting you anywhere with me. So you might as well cut that shit out."

Your mouth opened in surprise.

"Why the fuck do you try so hard? What do you get out of being a fucking clown?"

You pursed your lips.

"I want to be liked."

Negan snorted in derision. "Being liked is of absofuckinglutely no value."

"Well, it was valuable enough to get you to the top." You replied morosely.

"Are you serious? You mean to tell me that after everything you've fucking seen, you think being liked is what got me this gig?"

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him.

"From what I've seen, it's a balance. You are feared, because you aren't afraid to get violent." You fixed your eyes on the empty glasses scattered across the coffee table.

"You are respected because you take the responsibility of protecting the weak. You charm people with your joking and teasing."

Negan scoffed.

"Not everyone can be naturally attractive and charming. Respect, I can earn by doing my share and having their backs when we're out there doing pick ups. Will they fear me? Probably not, but I am smart and I know how to be funny. God willing making people laugh will make me well liked enough to bring me opportunity."

He became quiet.

You groaned internally.

Had you been too honest?

"Opportunity for what?" He gazed at you intently.

"Opportunity for advancement of course." You said evenly.

“Are you fucking flirting with me?”

Your eyes widened.

" You are aren't ya? You're fuckin flirting with me." He grinned.

"I was just being honest with you. How is that flirting?"

Negan smirked.

"Well let me fuckin see here, you called me naturally charming and attractive. Add to that the many times I have caught you eyefucking me."

Your face became hot with embarrassment.

"Unless you're looking to challenge my leadership, the only opportunity you've got is filling the recently vacant position of wife number seven."

You looked over your shoulder at the door and cursed yourself for letting Dwight leave without you.

Negan stretched his arm over the back of the couch and leaned in close.

Your pulse quickened.

"Look at me." He commanded.

You wondered not for the first time, why his husky voice had such an effect on you.

Regardless of what he was saying, the sound of him always made you think of sex. It also made you want to do everything he asked.

You turned toward him, slowly.

Negan cupped the side of your face, stroking your cheekbone lightly.

You gasped at the unexpected gentleness of his touch.

He leaned in. You felt his warm breath on your skin. He smelled like a combination of aftershave, sweat, and the whisky he'd been drinking. Unfortunately for you, you found the scent alluring.

He tipped your face up toward his.

You half wondered if you had passed out on the sofa. Perhaps this was a bizarre alcohol induced wet dream.

He licked his lips.

You swallowed nervously. He seemed like he kissed well. You hadn't been kissed in such a long time. You worried that you had forgotten how-

"You implied it."

"I-what?"

"Your reaction to me invading your personal space is proof that you meant it."

Your gaze slid from his olive and honey eyes to his lips and back again.

"You find me attractive and charming."

You could see by the smug smile already forming on his ruggedly handsome face that he wasn't going to let you live this down.

This could not stand. You made the first counter move you could think of. You slapped him.

Negan's eyes widened in surprise as your palm hit his cheek.

"ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I'm so sorry!" You covered your mouth with your hands.

A smile that was as dazzling as it was dangerous spread on his face.

Your breathing excelerated at the thought of what he might do to you as punishment.

Your mind flipped through the horrors you had witnessed at his hands, the iron, the smell of burnt hair and burnt flesh, His fists pounding relentlessly into a guys face, the sharp smell of blood, lucille coming down on some poor sonofabitch's skull, making it rain skull fragments, blood, and brains.

"I am going to make you pay." His tone was filled with promise as he yanked you to him by the collar of your jean jacket.

Your hands went to his shoulders with the intent of pushing him away.

Negan was on you in a heartbeat stealing your next breath with a brutal kiss.

He left you no choice but to mold your mouth to his. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and found yours.

You attempted to take control of the embrace.

He nipped at your lower lip in warning. His tongue delved once more tangling with yours in a battle for dominance.

You refused to submit.

His fingers hooked their way into your belt loops. Strong hands pulled you by the waist, propelling you forward, effectively forcing you to straddle the erection straining against his pants.

Your hips ground against his. He sucked at your lower lip and rocked up against the apex of your thighs.

Your breath hitched.

"I knew you were into me."

You turned your head to prevent him from kissing you again and rolled your hips.

He groaned.

"I am not into you."

Negan held onto your hips, threw his head back and laughed.

"Well I'll be damned. You finally said something funny."

He ran his hands over your ass, kneading your ample cheeks.

"I think we should fuck. Are you interested in the full experience or are you gonna settle for just a taste?"

"I wish you would stop saying shit like that. It makes my pussy go dry."

His jaw clenched in annoyance.

"You are a much better listener than I thought you were."

Rather than fly into an angry rant riddled with 'fuckyous' his hand shot out, pressing at your throat.

"Why is it you think you can get away with saying whatever you fucking want?" His fingers applied pressure to the side of your neck.

Your pussy clenched, dampening your panties in anticipation.

"Answer me." He demanded, pressing harder still.

A dulcet moan passed through your lips.

Negan's eyes narrowed.

He brought his other hand up to encircle your neck and squeezed experimentally.

You couldn't help the needy whine you emitted. The tension in your shoulders began to melt away as his thumb stroked along the curve of your neck.

"Ho-o-ly shit, You're really fucked up aren't ya?"

"You have no fucking idea." You purred.

[scenariosbutmakeitgay]

Data of Young Khun Eduan and Young Jahad x reader? 👀✨

the more I write for Eduan the more I love him I swear

-

Silence wasn't too common on the Hidden Floor. At least not when there were Eduan and Jahad involved. From a simple mockery coming from Khun's lips to clanging of Lecalicus – no place for silence no matter what. You liked it that way. Constant noises were reminding of battles that either have already happened or were about to. The sounds of chaos liked singing ballads about people that once were just like you. In the same place in life, with similar strength, and identical committed sins buried deep down in their hearts. The Tower made even saints lose their innocence with a taste of tainted blood, because of a temping promise of eternal bliss. You wondered if this was ever going to change. Some people spent their whole lives chasing the unachievable, and never once thought about slowing down to stay with the people they cherished. Until it was too late, and the only thing they could do was watch as the Tower slowly devoured them.

“Oh dear, lost in thought again?” a familiar figure asked, and sat next to you. Even though his eyes looked as if they were made of ice, the man's warmth was too well known for you.

“Weren't you in the middle of bullying Jahad just a few minutes ago?” you questioned, and Eduan snickered slightly. After all, he was just a data. His actions here didn't affect the reputation of the real head of Khun family, so why bother acting like a respectable adult? And bickering with Jahad was his favorite part of this.

“It's not bullying if he fights back, sweetheart,” Eduan said in his defense. A sly grin made its way to his lips, when he remembered how annoyed the king was the last time they met. It's not like Eduan's snarky remarks had anything to do with it. He was the nicest person in the world when he wanted something!

“Sure,” you knew that Eduan and Jahad didn't really dislike each other, but their arguments were quite amusing nonetheless.

The company of both men was enjoyable. Listening to Jahad's stories from his adventures always made the day a little more interesting. Especially when a certain blue haired grape lover tried to talk over him, and bring your attention to his perfect self. Before you met them, you hadn't even thought that two clowns could do the job of the entire circus.

“Where is Jahad now, though?” you asked. “He usually doesn't let you go that easily when you get on his nerves.”

Eduan sent you a disappointed look.

“Why do you bother with him, dear? Isn't my company enough?” he teasingly cupped your cheek, and brought your face closer to his. Maybe if it was the first time it happened you would be shocked. But now? Everyone who knew Eduan considered him a flirt. A few compliments here, a seemingly innocent touch there, and half of the world ends up drooling. Khun knew how attractive he was, and how seductively desirable his presence could be. After all, he always took full advantage of that. You weren't an exception. The urge to melt into his touch was tremendous, and almost inevitable. Suddenly, a powerful aura pulled you apart. You could feel it with every inch of your body, and it was a clear sign of who was nearby.

“Some people just have a good taste, Eduan,” Jahad's voice had a rougher tone than usual. He didn't sound too pleased. “Anyway, I was looking for a training partner. Mind joining me?” he offered his hand to help you get up, completely ignoring the blood-lust that appeared in Eduan's eyes.

Before you could answer, Khun wrapped his arm around you.

“Actually, we were about to leave. There are better things to do than collect bruises for no reason. Right, dear?” Eduan waited for your approval.

“What kind of warrior says that?” Jahad was visibly irritated. “Every training is a good opportunity to improve your abilities, and only a moron could be blind enough to disagree.”

You sighed. Why was it always adults that acted the most childish?

“Can't I spend time with both of you, though?” you asked. Their bickering was entertaining sometimes, but right now it only made you mentally exhausted. “Without arguments.”

Eduan clicked his tongue, and directed his gaze at you once again.

“I can't promise anything, dear, but–,” Eduan said as if he was making the hardest choice in his life. “As long as he acts bearable, I might sacrifice myself for you.”

“That's funny, because as far as I remember, it is always you who wants to annoy me,” Jahad interrupted his dramatic speech. “I'd be glad to spend some time with both of you when your mouth is shut, Eduan.”

“That's exactly what–,” Eduan started to yell, but you had no intention for this argument to continue. Their behavior was absolutely nerve-wracking.

You pulled the blue haired man closer to you, and, to make Jahad's wish come true, shut his mouth with a kiss. That was one of the rare moments when the Hidden Floor was nothing but silent. The other man looked at you uncomfortably with a bit of jealousy in his eyes. As you pulled away from Eduan, Jahad was just about to say something. Grabbing him by the shirt, you quieted his complaints the same way as you did with Eduan. If you knew that something so simple could ensure the peace you wanted, you'd do it much earlier.

“Now, can we hang out without fighting?” you asked, and looked at both of them.

Still proceeding what had happened, they just nodded. Silence could be the most beautiful thing in the world – if you knew how to obtain it, of course.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Your first Halloween spent with Arthur

Arthur never celebrated Halloween before, so you try to give him the best Halloween experience possible.

Apartment 8J seemed different today. The room was filled with the delicious smell of pumpkin spice and scented candles. Countless of them burning in every corner of the room, drowning Arthurs home in golden light. Warm blankets and cushions helped to create an cosy atmosphere while the ceiling was decorated wth all kinds of Halloween images. Self made pumkin lanterns standing on the floor....

You took a step back to get the full view of the apartment. This was perfect. At least ypu hoped so. You tried to see your result through the eyes of someone who had never experienced Halloween before, thinking this was pretty impressive.

The last pumkin was still waiting to be carved. But that was for Arthur only. You couldnt wait to see what kinda face he would choose for that little guy.

A quick look into the mirror left you wondering if he would like the costume you choose for tonight. You wanted it to be perfect. You wanted him to look at you with his big puppy eyes and melt. The black cat costume was pretty tight and not as comfortable as you hoped for, but if he thought it was sexy it would be worth it. You knew from the images he glued into his diary that he was very much into cat costumes. So why not give it a try on Halloween? Its the perfect night to be his black kitten.

You smiled at your own thoughts and made your way into the kitchen. The pumpkin soup was finally done, so as the self baked spooky muffins. Hopefully the smell of it would make Arthur hungry. At least a bit, since his meds made it difficult for him to eat . You placed the food on the table in front of the couch and lit another orange candle before you left him a little love note "May your first Halloween be just as magical as our love for each other". You drew a little pumpkin with heart shaped eyes and stuck the note between the muffins.

Done.

Now everything you had to do was wait until Arthur would be home.

You checked the clock. He`ll be back from the childrens hospital soon.  You sat down on the couch and sighed. Your love for him was immeassurable. Just thinking of him making the kids at the hospital smile with his little dances and magic tricks made your eyes water. He was the purest soul wih the biggest heart you have ever met. All he wanted in life was to see people happy. And all you wanted in life was to give those smiles back to him. He needed it. He needed smiles and love and happiness so desperately and he deserved all of it and more.

You knew for a fact that Arthur never experienced halloween before. Or christmas. Or his very own birthday even. His so called family would have never done anything for him. Not even when he was little. Especially not when he was little. Arthur grew up unloved, which created a huge hole in his heart only you were able to fill. And you filled it with your unconditional love every day. You filled it with warm and cosy light until he was radiating it on its own.

And tonight you would give him the most memorable Halloween ever. He would tell your kids about it some day, if you would ever have kids together.

A noise. Keys turning in the door lock. He was back. You checked your hair to make sure to look perfect for him and headed to the door. Arthur was falling into your arms, realizing that something was different. His puffy Carnival wig felt tickelish against your cheek.

"Y/N?.....let me take a look at you....wow...you`re.....wow. Oh my god...." if he wasnt wearing his clown make up you would have been able to see him blushing. Cat costumes really did a lot to him. "Thats just...." his eyes started glimmering "You`re a cat!"

You took off his big clown nose to kiss the tip of his own nose  before you put it back on, laughing "Yeah....I guess I am. Do you like it?"

Arthur wrapped his arms around your hips, staring at you with love "If I.....Like it? You are kidding me right? This is making me wild....Oh my god. I need to kiss you."

You couldnt help but laugh at his cuteness "So what are you waitng for?"

Arthur pulled you closer and pushed you softly against the wall. His hands all over you while he kissed you passionately. You could still taste the cigarette he was smoking before he got into the elevator. He grabbed his wig and threw it on the floor. As soon as his brown curls got exposed you put your hands into them. Oh how familar they felt between your fingers.

"My sexy, little kitten" he whispered into your mouth "I`m so glad to be home with you. I missed you so much. " His hands wandered down your legs. You wanted him. Now. But this had to wait. Time was running out. The kids will soon be ringing the door.

"I missed you,too, darling. "You held his face between your hands "But you gotta wait until tonight to see this kitten get undressed".

Arthur frowned "Baby?"

"We`ve got a lot to do today. Look!"

You turned him around to show him what he haven`t seen yet.  Arthur glanced at the living room "Oh my god. Y/N! This is....this looks wonderful. You made all of this by yourself?"

"Sure. Everything for you, Arthur. I know you never celebrated Haloween before. I just wanna make sure today is gonna be your first".

Arthur walked through the room, observing all the details of your decoration. "I love the candles and it smells so good. I love everything. This is amazing. Thank you so much!" He sat down and lit himself a cig, noticing the bowls on the table.

"You made pumkin soup and muffins! Oh baby, I dont even know if I deserve all of this....you`re the best." he inhaled the smoke and leaned back on the couch "I dont even know what to say".

You sat down beside him, toching his colorful tie, kissing his white cheek "I`m glad you like it. We gotta hurry a bit, the kids will start with their trick or treat tour soon!"

"Ohhhh! I`ve always wanted to give them sweets but I never had the money to buy them anything..."

"I got some goodies for them. You can hand it to them when they`re at the door."

"Awesome!" he smiled "Do you think they would like to hear some jokes? Or see some of my magic tricks?"

"Of course, Artie. I´m sure they will love it. You will be the only one showng them some tricks. They will tell all their friends about you. I am sure."

Arthurs eyes started to shine thinking of this "I will show them some of my best tricks, I swear.  But.... I`ve got no time to change my outfit. I`m just a regular clown right now." He put his cig into the ahtray, looking worried.

You grabbed his hand and lead him to the make up table in the bedroom "Dont worry, we will change Carnival to be a little bit scary".

Arthur sat down and closed his eyes "Thats a good idea! I know you`ve got some great make up skills. "

You started to cover his face with a bit of fake blood and gave the whole face paint a darker look to it. Arthur didnt moved through the whole process. Painting his face made you fall in love with every single wrinkle over and over again. His facial features always managed to drive you crazy, even when most of them kept hiding under all the make up. You could still see it through. You knew exacly where his birth marks and spots were hiding. Feeling the urge to kiss his make up off and taste his bare skin underneath.

"Finished!"

Arthur took a close look into the mirrow "Thats great. Now I look like a Halloween worthy clown. Do you think I should put the wig back on?"

"No I think it looks darker this way."

"Okay" Arthur watched you getting the paper plates with the candy, feeling nervous for the first kids to arrive.

"I hope the kids will like me as a spooky clown,too"

"Of course they will. Kids love you eighter way. And they want to see something spooky today, you know?"

"Yeah. I guess you`re right Y/N"

10 minutes after you got ready the first group of kids was ringing the door. Arthur opened it and waited until they got out of the elevator. You handed him a pile of goodies.

"Hey kids! Looking good" Aww look at this scary skeleton boy right there!" The little boy giggled "Trick or treat Mr Clown!" he yelled.

Arthur frowned "Ohhh I sure dont wanna get into trouble today.....but I dont have any candy I´m afraid"

The kids made long faces.

Arthur pulled his magic wand and made a little dance. The kids looked at him with curiousity. Suddenly all sorts of candys fell out of his sleeve "Ahhhhhhh look at that! I guess I was wrong!"

The skeleton boy laughed "Hey, how did you do it? We wanna know!"

"Yeah " a little girl in a zombie costume said "We wanna know".

Arthur picked up the candy and handed it to them, blinking "Shhhht....Its magic!"

"Wow!" the smallest one of the kids said "Thank you so much Mr Clown."

Arthur smiled at you as he closed the door again and fell into your arms "Did you see that darling? They loved it. They loved me. "

You stroke his sweaty hair "I told you so!"

Seeing Arthurs face light up meant the world to you.

Another ring of the doorbell.

"Ohhhhh more kids, Artie. Grab your stuff!"

Arthur grabbed the candy and opened the door again.

A scary pirate and a bloody meremaid stood in front of him "Trick or treat!"

"Ummmm......" Arthur  acted like he was thinking hard "Not sure if I got something for you. At least you can tell me why the clown got to the doctor?"

The little pirate was looking overwhelmed "What?"

"Why did the clown go to the doctor?" he repeated.

The meremaid whispered something in the boys ear "Ha! I know it! Because he felt funny!"

Arthur clapped his hands "Thats was the right answer! So this is all for the both of you" he handed them two plates of sweets "Ohhhhh , thats a lot. Thank you Mister!" the girl giggled as they left.

Arthur closed the door and felt more than happy "It feels so good to see them smile" he sighed. The next group of kids got their candy for singing "If you happy and you know it" with him and you couldnt help but crying a happy tear while watching it. Seeing him with kids made you think that he would be the best dad ever. Maybe you should ask him what he thinks about being parents.

After it started to get too late for kids being out on the streets Arhur fell back onthe couch. Happy about the outcome of the evning.

"You did great, Arthur. You made a lot of kids happy today"

"You think so?"

"Yeah"

"Thank you!"

You grabbed the last pumpkin "So Artie, its your turn now. I will tell you how to do it and you will carve this little guy. Better think about what kinda face you want him to have".

"Oh I never did this before."

"We`ll do it together" you said, helping him to cut it open and take the guts out. Arthur couldnt help but laugh "This feels funny to the touch" .

"I know. Okay so now that its hollow you can start drawing a face on it and then you take this and start to cut it out."

Arthur drew a big smiling clown face on it and took the tiney knife to carve it out. The result looked pretty good. He took a tealight and placed it on the right spot.

"My first pumpkin lamp ever".

"Its a great one. I love that you choosed a clown face."

You placed it right in front of the couch so you could see it for the rest of the night.

"Now its your turn to eat something. Wanna watch a scary movie together and get comfortabe?"

Arthur looked at the Muffins while you put a tape in and started the movie.

As soon as you got back on the couch you covered him with his fave blanket and crawled underneath. He immediately took you in his loving arms.

Arthur grabbed a muffin and took a bite. You ate one,too.  "I love those little  sugar spiders you put on top of it. " He now noticed the little note you write to him. "May your first Hallooween be just as magical as our love for each other....oh god, you`re the cutest catlady out there!" He took another bite.  "Its delicious. I wish I had an normal appetite. I think my stomach cant handle more than two of them at once."

"I know, darling, dont worry. Go slow okay. Maybe I can feed you some soup?"

Arthur nodded after he finished half of  the second muffin and let you feed him the warm pumpkin soup. "It tastes so good, its impossible to say no to this." He licked his red painted lips. His hair looked like dark gold in the candle light. Arthur was so focused on the movie and how well you treated him , he wasnt even aware that he managed to eat the whole plate.

"I`m proud of you, Arthur. You just finished your soup."

"Oh, really? Well thats on you. Thank you. Tonight I dont have to go to bed with an empty stomach. "

You put the plate away and rested your had on his tummy before you pulled up his vest to kiss his lower belly , which was now sicking out a tiney bit.

Arthur started to stroke your hair in the most gentle way "So.....what are we gonna do now, Miss kitty cat?"

You slowly started to unbotton his shirt, grinning.

"Oh I see you`ve got something on your mind" he chuckled, wrapping his hands around your waist to turn you over. He was now on top of you, smirking. "Are you afraid of the scary clown? And what he could do to you?" he chuckled.

Your opened the botton of his carnival pants "Um......maybe a little bit?"

Arthur leaned in to kiss you as the weight of his body was covering you like the most comfortable blanket in the world "You better be. Tonight  I`m gonna make you purr!"

[gorogues]

Spoilers for Flash #761!

You can see the first few pages here.

Well, we certainly can't say nothing happens in this issue; I think everything happens here.  Fortunately the missing members of the Flash Family do appear to help in the fight, and the one who's notably not here (Wally) speaks to Barry through space and time, presumably setting up their reunification in the Death Metal series.  But Jenni, Irey, Jai, the Renegades, Barry's Forces friends, Meena, Krakkl, and some multiversal Flashes join the party to fight against the Legion of Zoom while Barry fights Eobard.  It turns out that Eobard didn't bring any speedsters (ahem, aside from Roscoe) because all of his crew is time-displaced and speedsters' vibrations would interfere with that.  The Flash Family mucking with their vibrations sends them all back to their proper time periods.

And it was me, Barry, meeee.  Eobard's been using the heretofore unknown ability of hypnosis-via-the-Negative-Speed-Force to steer members of the Flash Family into dysfunctional decision-making, and this explains the poor choices many of them have made since Rebirth began and why they've been pushed apart.  It's a good explanation for stuff like Wally's choices during Heroes In Crisis and the hostility between Barry and Wally during Flash War, and helps make those things more palatable, but I do feel somewhat annoyed when a previously unmentioned power is unveiled to explain things.  I don't hate it, but don't love it either.  We did see a hint of this earlier during Flash #750 when Eobard whispered to Jay that he'd be forgotten, but nothing that suggested it was hypnosis from the Negative Speed Force...it just seemed like his usual trolling.  But something that helps explain Heroes In Crisis is always welcome, so you take the good with the bad.  And we already knew Eobard was responsible for giving the Clown the gun and killing August's brother, so that isn't new; I'm glad those were seeded earlier during this run on the book.

Anyway, Dr Wallhattan intervenes during Eobard's attack and leaves him discombobulated enough to disrupt his plans.  Unfortunately this sets up the ending of the issue, in which Eobard and Barry are inside the timestream when the Legion is sent back and are sent on a hellish race of being up to no good.  Eobard's looking pretty maniacal even by his standards, while Barry's in a fury and threatening to kill him.  There's only one issue left in Williamson's run after this, and we'll have to see whether Barry can resist the temptation to kill, or if he gives into his dark but understandable impulse as the next cover suggests.  We know Barry strongly disapproves of killing, but Eobard has been deliberately pushing his buttons with the understanding that he'll probably come back soon after -- it's certainly easy to provoke someone when you know death is just an inconvenience to you, particularly if it will really mess with the person you're provoking.  So Eobard knows exactly what he's doing.  I'm curious if he's solely trying to get Barry to kill him or if he's got other goals, and obviously we'll find out soon.

It's darkly funny that Len takes the opportunity in the chaotic fighting to try and kill Roscoe again, just as he did in Rogue War (also drawn by Howard Porter, so almost certainly a callback to that).  Hopefully they were both sent back to their proper timelines before Len caused any serious damage!  Obviously the bad blood between them still exists, and I have to wonder at what point in time this Roscoe came from.  

So it was a pretty good issue and there's definitely a lot to take in here.  It's good to see the Flash Family reunited and the return of some missing or mostly missing members, and nice to see some lesser-used villains get some airtime even if they're just fighting in the background.  I'm less keen on Eobard getting a new power behind the scenes as noted above, but there are good aspects to it too, such as helping to explain Heroes In Crisis.  I'm also a bit leery of 'everything is because of Eobard', but that's been going on for quite a long time and seems to be his schtick now.  Whether a reader likes it or not probably comes down to personal taste.  However, thus far this arc has been a rather epic wrap-up of a very significant era on the Flash book, and this was an enjoyable issue.

[darknessisafriend]

Reader is student who on a good day receives lots of candy and shares one with Carnival. When Arthur as Joker has shot Murray and escapes, he spots the same student among the crowd, trying to escape the rioting going on around her. He goes after her and avoids being captured again. Instead, he follows student to her apartment. (I am all up for dubcon smut, but might as well end in sweet fluff)

Ok I didn’t planned it to be fluff but it turned so soft like I was cryin’ and melting at the same time!!!! I hope you’ll like it ^^

Sweets

You were used to see him you see him every day doing his gig when you come back from college, you never really stopped but you always slowed down, you liked his dynamism, he was always smiling. And you didn’t dare to admit it out loud, but you had a little crush on him, maybe you were just into clowns, who knows…more seriously he had some serious moves, always dancing on the rhythm of the man playing piano, and he had gorgeous eyes, you’d love to be closer to memorize their details, but you never dared. After all you were just a student, the guy had a job and was probably 10 years older than you or more, so either he would never be interested in you or he’s already taken.

One day you had received lots of sweets in class, you had this cool professor who always distributed sweets to the whole class before Christmas holidays. And yeah you were finally in holidays, you were super excited to sleep and do nothing, literally. As you took your usual path to home, you reached the place where the clown performed, you had learned that his name was Carnival when one day a little kid had interacted with him. And this time you stopped to watch him, you stayed a bit far so he would not see you. At some point he stopped he was probably finished, he went to the side in your direction actually ‘oh shit did he see me?’  but apparently, he didn’t, he leans against the wall not far from you, taking out of his pocket a pack of cigarette, he brought one to his lips, lighting it, he took a long drag, he looked exhausted.

He turned his head, his eyes landing on you, and oh gosh they were gorgeous, this light green was something you had rarely seen, so deep and attractive… that’s when you realized you had been staring at him the whole time, you opened and closed your mouth several times before muttering “sorry” he continued to look at you a small smile forming on his lips. You didn’t know what to say, if you had the money you would have given him a tip for his hard work; you suddenly remembered you had a whole bag of sweets, it was better than nothing you thought. So you quickly reached for it in your backpack, took a nice handful of them, and took a few steps towards him, a kind smile on your lips and offered him your hand full of sweets.

“Want some?” you asked him. You could tell he was honestly surprised by your gesture and looked at you for a bit, then he nodded taking only one candy.

“Thank you…” he smiled, he unwrapped it and put it in his mouth, briefly closing his eyes at the taste of the sweet. You blushed, happy to brighten his day. But now it was time for you to go, let’s not bother the man any longer.

“I should go…have a nice evening Carnival.” You said in a sympathetic tone, giving him a bright smile as you left to go home.

What you didn’t see is that the clown eyes were following you, he had pushed himself from the wall, he had wanted to ask for your name and maybe even get a coffee together, but he never dared to catch you…

As days and weeks passed you never saw Carnival again, even though you passed in the same street every day. Maybe he was working in another place, but you missed his presence, his dancing was the ray of sunshine in your day. At some point you just avoided to go out, because of the things happening, the murder of these Wall Street guys which you didn’t really care about because people were dying every day, especially the poor, disabled or even students like you and nobody ever mentions their names. What worried you the most were the riots, of course people needed to be heard, but the chaos and insecurity these riots were generating was scaring you.

And with time it only got worse, especially tonight, you went to the supermarket, and suddenly outside it was chaos, people started to come in the shop, breaking the windows and stealing. You quickly escaped the shop, and, in the streets, cars were on fire, people screaming and chanting slogans, the police was clearly outnumbered. You looked around trying to find the best way to get home safely. You decided the walk fast home, not look at anyone, just walk fast. As you past by a an electronic shop, from the corner of your eyes you saw a TV broadcasting Murray Franklin Show, you never watched this but some friends of yours had told you about it, apparently, they had showed the video of a guy doing stand up comedy but having some sort of nervous laughter attack; you didn’t get what was so funny about this, you briefly stopped at the title of the news ‘Murray shot dead on live show by a clown’ you frowned at this, ‘was this guy some sort of symbol of the riots out there?’

A loud noise made you jumped and yelp in surprise, it seems a car crash had happened, you hoped the people in there were okay…but now something more important was in your mind than check, get out of this mess alive. You started to walk again but you were a bit lost, the chaos and destruction had completely changed your surroundings, you looked around trying to distinguish something familiar. You were panting, ‘what if I couldn’t go home?’ you started to think panicked. You closed your eyes trying to focus on calming your breathing, it was the only way you were able to think. When you succeeded, you opened your eyes and finally recognized where you were, nothing will stop you, you will go home safely no matter what.

Joker’s side

Fog…fog everywhere…everything hurts…there’s noise all around him, what’ s going on? He wonders, the noise grows stronger making his whole-body tremble. Suddenly, a rough cough erupts from his chest, he can’t contain it, as he coughs, the back of his head hits something metallic, increasing his headache, he feels warm liquid on his lips, the taste like iron. When he finally open his eyes all he sees are people, people gathered around him, lights everywhere in the night, they are wearing clown masks, he hears them calling his name, his stage name ‘Joker’. He wonders what’s happening why people are calling his name? suddenly everything rushes back to his mind, his mother, Murray, how he got arrested until he lost consciousness. He painfully gets up to look around, he sees the police car he was in, collided by an ambulance, how ironic…

But people are cheering for him, he can’t believe it, they’re finally seeing him, they love him…he wants to see if it’s really happening, so he poses and then starts dancing on top of this police car, he spins and people cheer even more, yes, he’s loved, finally…he feels tears prickling in his eyes…

He feels more blood in his mouth, his blood, crimson red just like his paint, slowly he puts his fingers in his mouth, gathering blood on it, and traces up from the corner of his lips to his cheekbones, forming a smile because he is happy now, it only costed him everything and to kill his own mind, now he’s happy, he can’t help but laugh.

Suddenly he hears sirens coming closer, he has to get out here, he won’t be caught again, not now that he’s free. His eyes are searching the crown looking for a path where he could escape, unnoticed. He gets off the car, and pushes through the people, now some of them are running away, other running towards the police to fight them.

As his eyes look for a way to go, he spots a young woman, who’s apparently looking to go away too, her clothes, her hair somehow looks familiar to him, he squints his eyes to try to recognize her, when finally she look the crowd, he remembers, the sweets girl! He thinks quickly, you’re the only way for him to hide, when you will recognize him, you will help him! He’s sure of it!  

He starts to run after you, but then he realize that you might have heard of the murders and Murray…what if you’re scared of him or repulsed and doesn’t want to talk to him? To this thought he slows down. He’s going to follow you, to your place, and away from the cops, he will try to talk to you, explain everything and you’ll understand.

 Your POV

You were getting away from the riots easier than you thought, the streets were empty, most people in the main avenue. You were almost home, you sighed in relief, but you suddenly turned to look if someone had followed you; everything was empty apart from rats in the trash bags, everything was silent apart from the muffled roar of the riots. For some reason you thought that someone was following you, you shook your head a continued your way home. You were living on the first floor of a small building, mostly occupied by students which meant it could get pretty noisy at night especially week ends, but other than that it was safe, it’s all that mattered.  You finally entered the building and walked straight to your door, your searched for your keys and paused, you swear you’d heard something, so you just don’t move and do as less noise as possible, listening for anything, that’s when you heard it again, it was someone breathing behind you! You jumped and turned, you’re back hitting your door, you yelped in anticipation, squeezing your eyes shut briefly seeing the shape of someone.

But nothing came, your heart was beating so fast that it was the only thing you could hear.

“I’m…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you…” the voice said, it’s tone strangely apologetic and soft. Slowly you opened your eyes, trying to calm down your breathing. Your eyes landed on a man wearing colorful costume and a clown makeup, it reminded you of something, you opened wide your eyes as your remembered that you had seen him on TV, the killer.

“What do you want?” you shivered, looking at your feet ‘please don’t hurt me’. The man took a deep breath, and shuffle like he was unsure.

“It’s me…Carnival…” he lamented, his sad tone struck you, until you processed what he had just said, ‘Carnival as in the happy clown down the street?’ you finally looked up to meet his eyes, you instantly recognized them, those beautiful green eyes, they were wet and there’s was glow of hope in them. You realize he was probably looking for your help.

“But…you killed someone.” You replied disappointed by what he had done. He nodded not trying to hide it from you, you realized he had a big gash on his forehead still bleeding.

“I did but he deserved it, you’ve seen what he did to me right?” he asked, his voice surer, showing he didn’t regret it.

“No, I…” you admitted confused.

“Then please just let me explain…” he pleaded, almost reaching out to touch you, but he refrained when he saw you flinch. You passed a trembling hand on your forehead, you didn’t know what to do, even in this moment he looked pure and nice just like the Carnival you used to watch, but you couldn’t help but think he might hurt you too. He seemed to understand what was going through your mind.

“I won’t hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you…I need your help.” He added, lifting his hands in sign of peace. Suddenly on your left you heard the noise of someone opening its door, without thinking you quickly opened yours and shoved Carnival inside, as you were entering the voice of your neighbor called you.

“Y/N is everything alright? I heard screaming” he asked.

“Oh yeah, yeah…it’s just my boyfriend he surprised me and with what’s happening outside I’m a bit jumpy that’s all.” You jabbered, scratching the back of your head, giving him a small smile.

“Oh ok then…goodnight.” He wished you, you quickly closed your door, sighing in relief and looked for the clown. He was watching you curiously, with some sort of admiration, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Your boyfriend?” he hinted, teasing. You retained a laugh and rolled your eyes.

“Seriously?” you replied, slightly amused that it’s the only thing bothering him. You put your bags on the counter and took off your coat always facing him just in case he tried something. He looked around you small studio, slightly fidgeting his hands. You watched him, apart from the blood he looked perfectly normal, what exactly happened?

“Oh my name’s Arthur.” He told you, walking towards you, extending his hand to you. You looked at it for a moment then took it.

“Y/N” you replied. He nodded, and repeated your name, softly chuckling.

“So care to tell me what happened?” you asked him, you were curious but also afraid to discover that you let some sort of psychopath in your studio. He sat on your chair, he seemed to feel a bit weak, probably due to his wounds. Then he started from the beginning, his life, his condition, how people treated him like a freak, then the murder of the 3 guys in the subway. However this time you weren’t scared because you understood that he simply defended himself and knew he would be sent to prison because he wouldn’t be able to get a good attorney. Then he told you about this Murray mocking him.

“So it was you on the video?” you asked pained to imagine what he went through, he nodded “Have you seen it?” he asked you.

“No, I don’t watch this show…but I heard about the video…” you explained feeling empathy for Arthur.

“They just wanted to make fun of me” he snarled, his eyes feeling with hatred “I won’t ever again be mocked or beaten, they will die” he declared deadly serious. You swallowed feeling the strength and level of dangerous nature he could reach. But as you’ve heard once ‘all it takes is one bad day’ for someone to let go and give in to insanity.  Honestly you didn’t know what to say about all this, you simply understood how he ended up this way and there was nothing really to do about this, deep down you wished you had been there for him, if only one single person had cared for him, things would be different and you couldn’t help but think you could be there for him now? Could it help? What about the consequences?

“I’m gonna get some compresses, we need to clean this…” you declared motioning to his forehead, giving him a compassionate smile.

You came back with everything you needed, you approached him, not so afraid anymore and he was actually calm, he didn’t look like he was having a psychosis episode or something like that. Delicately you brushed his hair out of his forehead, and carefully applied the compress, cleaning the cut, you also took care of smaller cuts, Arthur was watching you work on him.

“Why did you come to me?” you asked him after several minutes, this question was burning your lips since the beginning; he had seen you only once and he had followers in all Gotham now, surely somebody would have hidden him…he let out a small laugh.

“I saw you, among all the people there, you caught my eye, I remembered that offered me sweets…” the tone of his voice changes, strangled with emotion “you had looked at me so nicely and gave me something without expecting something in return”. His eyes were nostalgic, remembering this moment, you smiled at this memory.

“You know, I actually watched you every day…I just…for some reason was hiding, I didn’t want you to see me, that’s how we met actually I was watching and I didn’t expect you to come next to me and see me” you confessed blushing and chuckling at how ridiculous you had been. You positioned yourself between his legs to clean the blood around his lips, your fingers delicately cupping his jaw. Your thumb soothingly caressing his cheek; while you cleaned his lips, he stayed silent, still watching your every movement as if you were fascinating, in fact he was actually entranced by your beauty and your care for him. When you finished, you didn’t move, your thumb softly caressed his lower lip, your eyes looking at them, then you looked back at his eyes, they were looking at you with adoration.

“I have to confess something too.” He started with a low voice, intimate “when you left, I wanted to run to you, ask for your name and offer you a coffee, a date actually.”

“Really?” you reply surprised that he was actually interested in you.

“Yes” he cooed, a beautiful smile forming on his lips “I loved you the second I laid my eyes on you.” He added slowly lifting his hands and resting them on your hips. You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, you genuinely smiled at his confession and softly bit your lips.

He studently brought you closer to him, pressing your body against his and crashing his lips against yours, you tasted his blood, metallic, his tongue was soft against yours, you buried your fingers in his green locks, the both of you releasing the restrained desire you had for each other.    

“We must make up for lost time kitten…” he purred against your lips, smirking. Oh yes you will and even more…

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 2

Boggy the Froggy!

Welcome back, ya’ll! We jump back in with our Bad Kids (or 4/6 of them anyway) the very next day. Fabian sends Gilear out on a coffee run on the threat of bodily harm. His mom–who, if you remember is low-key a total badass–tells Fabian that if Gilear doesn’t come back from the quest alive, she’s going to duel him to the death on top of the house. Yikes. At Chez Thistlespring, Gorgug’s parents give him another very detailed sex talk and then remind him that he lives in a world where magic is very real so any and all dreams he remembers should be treated as omens. 

At the haunted house, Adaine wakes up having had portentous dreams like everyone else which is doubly concerning I have to imagine considering (1) she is the eleven oracle and (2) as a full elf she’s supposed to trance, not sleep and dream. Luckily for her nerves, she cast Find Familiar the night before and summoned an emotional support familiar which she gave the amazing name Bogariel Frogariel aka: Boggy the Froggy. 

Meanwhile (and I needed to switch paragraphs because Kristen is doing the D&D equivalent of playing Twister while everyone else is playing Checkers as she is wont to do) Kristen is talking to Tracker about changing Yes? again because she is filled with doubt about her god of doubt but the one thing she clearly doesn’t have doubt about is her relationship with Tracker because it’s been less than a year and she already sees wedding bells in their future. Wild. She also invites Tracker on the quest, rectifying what I thought was a wild oversight last week. 

Everyone meets up and they realize Fig and Riz are missing. They (specifically Fabian) can’t get Riz on the phone (which has never happened before) and all of Fig’s stuff is missing. They head over to Riz’s office to see if they can find him but, before that, Tracker cancels the church of Yes? because, sure. 

There are signs of a struggle at Riz’s office, but no blood. They find a picture of Riz’s super-spy dad (Pok) with his arm around someone who appears invisible to them (though the spot is circled in red). They also find claw marks going up to a mirror. Adaine stops Gorgug from touching the mirror which would have driven him insane and had him attack the group. She sees a twisted version of Riz in the mirror which no one else can see until she describes it (suspicious). Then, she dispels magic and the Riz appears in the room…and attacks them (roll for initiative baybee)!

Fabian is flipped the F out. Kristen decides to chill out and drink Riz’s coffee–much to the incredulousness of everyone else (she’s on those chill existential dread vibes). Adaine and Gorgug are stricken by fear but they’re able to snap out of it quickly. Once they’re sure it’s not Riz (the doppelganger is going full creepy horror movie monster with the head twisting and biting and junk), they start going full throttle but Kristen gets a clutch roll and lands a banishment on Nightmare Riz (who was invisible at the time). Also, Adaine finds a gun but no one is down with her packing heat without proper firearms training so she reluctantly puts it back. They confer with Sandra-Lynn and they find out Fig has, for some reason, gone to Bastion City (the capital) and Gorthalax is missing. Also, because Emily is Emily whether she’s present or not, they find out that Fig has decided to multiclass and she is now a bard/warlock with her demon dad as her patron. Those might be connected because, as her patron, Gorthalax can now find Fig at all times.  

Sklonda, in the meantime, has been investigating a robbery at the mall. They end up there too because Gilear (who is back from his coffee run) said he saw Fig’s bus in the area. They tell Ragh to meet them there and then head over (Gorgug in the old family car which he buys from them for 30 gold (the cost of a pony)–the amount Adaine suggests after the Thistlesprings reject his insane offer of 1000 gold). Also, Kristen leaves her brothers some gold secretly which is sad and also I think not the best way to handle that, but the intention is good. The robbery was of a gem–non-magical I believe–called the Devil’s Heart. [Edit: And apparently Fig’s doing.] Fabian shows up, tries to be helpful, and then eats glass. Normal stuff. 

The group tries to figure out what’s going on with Fig by calling the hotel she’s at and basically doing a straight improv comedy routine, each passing the phone around with a bad story until Adaine just hangs the phone up. Then, they find out from Sklonda that Pok’s partner is a tabaxi (cat person) named Kalina and she is in the empty space in the photo. Sklonda and Sandra-Lynn can see it even though the Bad Kids can’t. 

With that information gathered, the group leaves Elmville for the first time on the way to the Hotel Cavalier in Bastion City and, hopefully, Fig. 

Detention

Fabian for Intern Abuse

Poor Gilear. Fabian solicits increasingly complicated coffee orders from his friends to make Gilear’s job harder and tries to get them to threaten Gilear on their behalf. Even Sandra-Lynn was like, bro. Lay off the guy. Bad form, sir. (Hilarious, but bad). 

Honor Roll

Adaine for Rocking Her Portent Rolls

Adaine had a 19 and a 4 for her portent rolls this session and she used them very judiciously. The first was her 19 which she gave to Gorgug who was about to fail his saving throw and touch the mirror which would have led to him attacking everyone (she has a vision of his beheading her in a rage–sidenote love that Brennan makes her portent rolls actual visions instead of just having the mechanical effect of changing the roll happen). The second was a 4 which she gave to Brennan who was rolling for concentration on Nightmare Riz’s fear spell. What a power move to stare your DM in the face and say, “You roll a 4.” Amazing. Portent rolls are so good you guys. Also, bonus points for coming up with the name Bogariel Frogariel. 

Random Thoughts

Fabian’s response to his mom’s ultimatum that she will fight him if Gilear doesn’t return alive? “Damn, guess I have to fight my mom.”

“MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG.”

Brennan describes Boggy as just the most archetypal looking, round, squishy frog and I want a plush of his yesterday. Or a stress ball! It would go with his whole emotional support thing in game. I love that Siobhan picked not the potentially “useful” or “cool” animal. She went full Marie Kondo and was like, “What’s gonna spark some joy?” Boggy also can give her the help action, which is great!

The episode was great even 2 cast members down, but they were missed. On more than one occasion, I was like, “This is more quiet than usual. I wonder why–ah Emily.” We better get her reaction to Boggy as soon as she’s back.  

Kristen brings up the concept of patenting a god which is wild. We also get an answer to the question I had last week about Tracker’s cleric status–she still is a cleric of the moon goddess. The moon goddess is just chill with her followers not being exclusive. 

Fabian sans Riz is a hilarious mess. For anyone who likes them together as friends and/or romantically there was a lot of Content. Fabian being like, “Idk about Fig but something is def wrong with the Ball because he always answers on the first ring when I call  him.” Him canonically forgetting that he has a name other than The Ball (that’s the name in his phone, obv). And, the coup de grace, him investigating RIz’s office, but only for signs of his name. Him trying to Investigate like Riz, rolling a nat 1, and literally eating glass (“I thought I could taste fingerprints!”). 

“Coffee’s ordered, is the Ball dead?”

Adaine as everyone is clowning on Fabian for possibly making out with the Hangman: The Hangman is much more human than my bitch sister. 

Nightmare Riz, who they still think is actual Riz at this point, pops out of the mirror and Fabian and Adaine’s reactions respectively are, “You can’t do these things!” and, “It’s like 60% of our grade.”

The idea of Gorgug going from a terrified scream into a barbarian rage scream is very funny. Where are the animatics people?

Oh, speaking of people, Fantasy High was trending on tumblr the morning after this stream. Nice job, guys! 

The talk that Gorgug’s parents give him about all dreams being significant is something I always say in movies/books/shows like this. You have protagonists who *know* they live in a magic world and they have weird dreams and it’s not until 2/3rds of the way into the story that they’re like, “Wait. My dreams…mean something?” Bitch, what?

Gorgug’s initial coffee order is Hot Chocolate with a shot of decaf.

Everyone is very chill with Tracker coming onto the quest. Adaine just has one rule: No sex in the tent while they’re also in the tent. Kristen asks like she’s offended Adaine would feel the need to say that but like…come on. 

At first, I thought the invisibility in the photo was similar to the non-Adaine bad kids not being able to see Nightmare Riz until she described him but they still couldn’t see the woman in the photo after Sklonda described her so not sure what was going on with the mirror. 

I went back to the episode where Riz finds the photo of his dad (First Kisses and Last Words at around 1 hour, 27 mins in) and in that photo it’s of his dad and his mom. So either (1) it’s a different photo, (2) Brennan forgot/retconned something, or (3) something seriously screwy is going on. I will also note two observations here. Sklonda mentioned that Kalina doesn’t drink but was holding up her hand in a toast like she was drinking in the photo. That seems too specific a detail to not mean anything. And the second thing is, last ep, we did learn about a servant of the Nightmare King called the Shadow Cat and Kalina (if that is her real name) is a tabaxi so that’s something to think about. 

With all the complicated coffee orders flying around, Adaine just changes hers to a black coffee to try and make Gilear’s life a little easier (her original order was a Peppermint Mocha–sans the threat of violence to Gilear Fabian was offering). I do really love that Adaine seems genuinely concerned about the guy. SOMEONE should be. And it’s consistent with her characterization of just being generally well mannered and empathetic. 

Kristen getting the banishment on Nightmare Riz is something she did after Ally asked for it and Brennan was like, “lol, sure on a 19 or 20.” Boom. Rolled a 19. Just like in the prom fight. So the lesson here folks is don’t give your players a conditional yes and then expect the dice to bail you out. 

Kristen’s existential crisis is so crazy to me because she’s having, like, a prototypical Crisis of Faith™ (and pretty realistically) except, unlike in real life, she has certain knowledge about the existence of gods, life after death, and the means to communicate with those deities in the present day like…I feel like you’re crisis-ing wrong, girl. She’s crisis-ing like she just deconverted from Christianity when I feel like what actually happened is closer to, like, quitting a sorority or realizing you hate your major or changing political parties.  

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents homestuck helioism again

Ragh had a dream matching up with Gorgug’s (but he didn’t realize it was Gorgug in his dream) which means something and I’m sure we’ll figure out what soon enough. 

The Fabian eating glass scene is another one where you truly need to see it to understand how great it is. Lou is equally game to have Fabian be the coolest person who ever lived or a huge baby and Fabian running away crying because he has glass shards in his tongue is incredible. Hilariously, he runs into Ragh in the food court who has also eaten glass in the past (“Glass is literally invisible.”) and they bro bond over it so hard (“That’s my boy!”) that Tracker and Kristen are like…are they a thing?

The other crazy scene is the gang passing around the phone trying to convince the hotel receptionist to give them info about Fig. Kristen comes up with the name Teddy Guyger (and Zac and I at the same time are like, “Did you get the name Teddy because you have a teddy bear in your inventory rn?”). Fabian tries to drop his dad’s name. Their first move for some reason isn’t to give the phone to Gorgug who is also a part of the band. Adaine just hangs up the phone like Peppa Pig. Exquisite comic timing. 

“I cast bane on Gilear.”

I love the running joke of Adaine having visions throughout the day of her friends in the process of doing dumb BS.

Nightmare Riz going after Fabian’s good eye was big gross. Thanks Brennan, I hate it.  

I wonder if what’s going on with Fig is completely different than what’s going on with Riz. Just because they’re gone for the same reason irl, doesn’t mean they’re gone for the same reason in game. Nightmare Fig could be a fun fight though.

As someone whose fave thing in D&D is not combat, I thought the fight in this episode was great. Interesting concept, good chance for in-character reactions, not too long . 

Ragh upon meeting Tracker: Check it out: I’m gay. (Tracker: Tight.)

Fabian, who has known Cathilda his entire life: Do maids dream?

In this ep, Kristen and Adaine rolled 2 nat 20s each (Kristen rolled one for initiative also but it was lowered by her modifier), and Gorgug and Fabian each rolled 1. Fabian also rolled a nat 1 (which, again, led to him Eating Glass).  

[longassr1de]

Heaven

Pairing: Mark x fem!reader

Genre: Smut/fluff

Work count: 4.2k

Summary: In which pretending to get laid actually ends with a good lay. or In which you spend more than just seven minutes in heaven with your crush.

Warnings: oral (female receiving), fingering, riding/cowgirl. can’t think of much else tbh, it’s pretty tame. not yet proofread, i apologize.

A/N: This turned out a lot fluffier than originally intended ..but hey, that’s what happens when you write while you’re in your feels :,) side note, I think I finally wrote smth that isn’t a pwp so..yay! though i was sleep deprived when i wrote this & it’s like 6am as i’m posting-

Ah, the sweet stench of sweat, alcohol and vomit. Typical traits of a college party, and if you were being honest, you weren’t all too sure how you allowed yourself to be persuaded into attendance. It could have been the fact that you really needed to let off some steam after finals, it could have been that you were bored at home and needed a change of scenery, or perhaps it was because a little birdie had informed you that your crush was likely to show up tonight. But surely, it was because of the free booze, no?

Lying aside, it wasn’t as large as a typical frat party; a fairly average one as far as you could gather from your experience, given that it was being held in someone’s home. Your friends had split in all directions almost as soon as you’d arrived, looking to find drinks or companions or old friends, of which you weren’t very concerned with. Jelly shots and heavy bass EDM wasn’t your ideal Friday night, but it would have to do for now.

After your fair share of drinks (a beer, some jello shots, and a supposed margarita that tasted more like tap water than alcohol), you decide to venture inwards, trying your hand at a spot on the makeshift dance floor. You’re having fun in your own little world until you accidentally bump into someone while trying to break free for some fresh air, almost spilling your drink over the unfortunate passerby. Turning to apologize for your inebriated clumsiness, you’re greeted by none other than your classmate, Mark.

“Oh hey,” Mark calls out to you, smiling at a familiar face, “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Neither did I, until tonight,” you joke, but there’s a hint of truth behind your words.

“Did you also happen to be abandoned by the people you came with, or are you lone wolfing it?” You chuckle at the way he words his question, not missing the way he tries (and fails) to subtly check you out in your gorgeous emerald dress.

“Lone wolfing it after my abandonment, if they left me, they can stay gone.” A smug grin plasters itself on your face as you take a sip of your drink.

“Ahh, I feel you. The guys ditched me the second they found the cheerleaders and beer pong.” Mark rolls his eyes, following suit and taking a swig from his beer. Leaning closer to him, you find yourself having to speak up due to the music.

“In all honesty, this conversation is great, but I can barely hear you,” Mark’s eyes crinkle as his telltale laugh lines form, “so if you’d like to continue, can we move somewhere quieter? Unless you were just saying hi, that’s fine too.”

“Someplace quieter sounds great right now, after you,” he gestures vaguely, insinuating that he would simply follow your lead. You try your best not to let yourself linger over his appearance, but you know damn well that in the back of your mind, the image of Mark in a button down and jeans will be embroidered there for the better part of the next month. Minimum.

Conversation flows smoothly as you both enjoy the breeze on the balcony, catching up on life events, intermittent with preposterous tales and the silliest of jokes. That’s how it always felt when you were around Mark though, like you could be yourself without a care in the world, his free spirit and funny personality letting conversation flow through so easily you’d hardly noticed how long you’d been missing.

The balcony door suddenly swings open, making you pray it wasn’t some horny couple trying to get it on in the fresh air. Instead, you’re met with one of the friends you came with, claiming she’d frantically been searching for you everywhere. When you ask why, all she answers with is that they need people for truth or dare, to which you roll your eyes at but begrudgingly accept your fate. As you’re dragged by the wrist, you shoot an apologetic glance at your companion; he only shrugs in response, opting to tag along due to his unwavering curiosity.

The game commenced after the first person volunteered, and whoever was seated clockwise from them had to go next. So far: someone had revealed they were secretly a porn actor, someone had to lick the bottom of someone else’s boot, someone had confessed they once had a wet dream with a clown, and someone was dared to prank call the local pizza joint asking if it was the krusty krab. Not too far out of a game, but also not exactly anything normal, as far as you were concerned. You find your heart starting to pound, hand sweating as your friend goes, watching as she does a belly shot off one of Mark’s friends; perhaps his name was Johnny, but you’re not too certain. All you can hear is the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears, immediately regretting picking dare when you see the way your friend’s eyes light up with malicious intent.

“I dare you... to a round of seven minutes in heaven,” she pauses for dramatic effect, effectively jamming your heart into your throat when you notice where her eyes land... to the boy sitting right next to you. “With Mark Lee.” Everyone in the circle cheers, having only witnessed a reluctant make-out earlier, they were ready for some fresh blood, and it would appear you were the sacrificial lamb.

You swallow hard, the way Mark stills in his spot going entirely unnoticed. He stands up first, trying to act unfazed as he holds out his hand to help you up, walking over to the closet with you in tow, hanging your head low. You damned the drinks for starting to wear off, knowing you were much shier without the alcoholic assistance, and much better off with it.

“And the timer starts... now!”

your friend yells as she locks the closet door, leaving you both in a relatively dark, cramped space. You swear to get your vengeance on your friend for tonight, she knew damn well about your crush on Mark, and she was going to force it out of you one way or another, it would appear.

“God, I’m so sorry you got dragged into this,” you run your hands through your hair, once again failing to notice as Mark’s throat runs dry, eyes raking over your appearance with heavy gaze.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says after clearing his throat, “it’s not like any of this is your fault, anyway.” Even in the pale glow of the light through the lines of the closet door you can make out his beautiful smile; it’s a smile that you would know anywhere.

“So... seven minutes locked in a closet. Hope neither of us are claustrophobic,” you try to make light of the situation, pretending that you can’t feel the heat radiating off his body. You try to raise your hand to find the wall, instead finding Mark’s chest, apologizing as you pull your hand back as if it had just touched a hot iron. He laughs at your reaction, finding it adorable how opposite your actions were to your appearance tonight. A tight emerald dress paired with black heels and smoky-eyed makeup to complete your ensemble had you looking like you’d devour the first person to speak to you, but instead, here you were blushing at every slight action. The boy had no idea that was all his effect on you, thinking you were just very shy all the while.

“Hey, I just got an idea,” Mark grins deviously, causing you to furrow your brows in concern. “Hear me out, ok? Have you ever seem Easy A?” You nod, wondering where this was going. “Do you remember how she would pretend that she slept with someone, just faking the noise?” Your eyes widen as what he’s hinting at registers in your brain, elevating your nerves and skyrocketing your pulse. The mere thought of it had you feeling a little damp, wondering what pretty little noises would be leaving his mouth.

“I’m... not too sure about this,” you start off, chewing on your lip. He assures you that he won’t force you into anything, just found it to be a fun, harmless prank to play. “Yeah sure, let’s get on with this, then,” and you pray that for the second time tonight, you don’t regret your decision.

It’s a lot harder than you initially thought, you ponder, trying not to laugh as you both slap the walls and make the most absurd of noises. If that was really how he sounded, you don’t think you could ever sleep with Mark without laughing your ass off; but then again, you certainly weren’t true to form with your overly exaggerated fake moaning either.

It’s when he suggests that you both make it sound more real that things take a turn. You suddenly find yourself all too close, drowning in his scent, tempted by his presence and tainted by desire. You’re all too tempted to just lean up and kiss Mark’s beautiful pouted lips when he catches you staring, stopping dead in his tracks mid-fake moan.

“Something tells me that look on your face definitely isn’t fake,” he whispers, voice a hushed whisper lulling past the dull thudding in your eardrums. “Please tell me it isn’t fake, that I’m not imagining the way your eyes are just eating me up.” Mark sounds breathless, almost as if incredulous at your attraction towards him. You can’t help but think he must be dense to not have noticed by now... but so must you if you never caught his shy glances or lustful staring.

“Oh it’s real alright, and so could these noises if we just stopped playing these games already,” you hadn’t noticed you’d said the second part aloud until you saw firsthand the shift in his demeanor. Mark’s entire face screamed want as he brought a hand up to cup your face, the other landing on your waist.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks, searching deep into your eyes as if to find out that this was a bad joke all along.

“About as sure as the fact that I’m glad my underwear is matching tonight,” you tease, unknowing of where this sudden urge of confidence was coming from, entirely grateful nonetheless. Mark leans in softly, slowly, as if worried he might scare you away, and it takes everything in you not to drag him to you by the collar in one hurried tug.

His plush lips feel wet, likely from running his tongue over it one too many times, and slightly cracked, probably due to chapping. But that’s the least of your worries as it feels like he’s sucking the air out from your very lungs, pausing to nip or suckle on your bottom lip before losing it entirely when your fingers tug at his hair, slipping his tongue past your lips. You’re startled by the sudden noise, followed by more light than your eyes could properly get used to on such short notice. There stands your friend on the other side, the room mostly empty now, with just a few stragglers.

“So did you two fuck all that tension away yet or was that all just for show?” She quirks a brow at your bruised lip, wondering if you’d been kissed anywhere else tonight.

“Was working on it, til you showed up, actually.” Mark’s brazenness leaves you floored, but surprisingly only serves to fuel the fire he’d ignited deep in your belly.

“By all means then, don’t let me stop you,” she leaves you with a wink, mimicking a phone with her hand as she tells you to call her tomorrow with the details. After she disappears from view, you feel Mark’s hand slip though your tresses, bringing you back to reality.

“Hey, I was totally joking to get her to bug off, but... the offer stands,” he lets out hurriedly, almost as if he was scared you’d shut him down.

“Well, what did you have in mind?”

“We can either go grab a late dinner and pretend this never happened or we can go back to my place? And I’ll treat you to breakfast. It’s all in your hands though,” he smiles nervously at you, eyes pleading what his heart is too scared to show.

“You must be confident,” to which Mark quirks a brow in response, “assuming I’d stay until morning come.” You jest, watching as his mouth gapes but fails to come up with an actual reply. “I’m just kidding, lover boy. Let’s get back to your place then, I’m sure you’d like more than just an answer in my hands.” He audibly groans at that, feeling his pants tighten as he follows you out the front door of the party residence, calling for an uber as you trail a line of teasing kisses across his jaw.

The ride back to his apartment is filled with mindless conversation, neither of you daring to go farther than sneaking kisses or placing a hand on each other’s thighs. The moment of arrival, you swear you could’ve kissed the pavement from how relieved you were. You both made out for the duration of the elevator ride, with your hands in his back pockets as his find purchase at the base of your thighs, just under the hem of your dress. When the door opens, he walks backwards with you in tow, stopping to suck a lovely bruise into your collarbone before slotting the key into the lock.

No sooner than the door shuts behind you are you being pressed up against it, jumping up to wrap your legs around Mark’s waist. It’s the first time you come into heavy contact with the stiffness in his jeans, letting out a muffled noise into the heated kiss. He’s stumbling to carry you as he blindly makes his way around, nearly tripping over a cord as he opts to set you down until you’ve reached the safety of the bedroom. Laughing it off, you follow Mark to his quarters, taking in the sights of his room as you wrap yourself into his backside.

“Time for you to put your money where your mouth is,” you tease, spurring him on to turn around and run his hands down your sides.

“Oh, there will be plenty of time for me to put things in my mouth, baby. But for right now, as gorgeous as you look in it,” he stops to stare at the way it hugs your curves, “I just want you out of this damned dress.” You chuckle at his impatience, turning around so he can tug the zipper down, feeling Mark place kisses down your spine as the dress pools around your legs at the floor. He pulls back only to be pleasantly surprised by your earlier statement, you actually were wearing matching underwear, and white lace at that.

“I can’t tell if you’re an angel who’s come to me or the devil who’s luring me,” he sighs, breathless, “but either way I’m worshipping you tonight.”

“Does that mean you’ll be on your knees for me?” your tone flirty and light, taking note of the way your words have such a hold on him, the way his face gives away every one of his emotions.

“If that’s what you want, I’d be more than happy to oblige.” And so you find yourself sitting up against the headrest, Mark’s button down joining your dress on the floor as he tweaks your nipples, kissing his way down your stomach. His hands slide to part your thighs, taking in a deep breath at the scent of your arousal as your underwear joins the heap. He spends countless minutes pulling sounds from you with his tongue and fingers, not failing to let you know how mesmerizing he found you (and your moans); all the while not so subtly humping the bed to help give some friction where he needed it most. You’ve already come once and feel yourself starting to build up to a second when Mark pulls away, drawing out a whine from you as you tug at his hair.

There’s an almost sleepy smile on his face, no doubt tired from a long week of finals as well. “Tell me to stop at any time and I will, ok?” he says as he places multiple kisses on your lips, still in disbelief as to how he managed to get you to come home with him after weeks of being unable to work up the courage to just ask you out. He’d have to thank liquid courage for that one, actually.

You lean up on your elbows to watch as Mark undresses, then produces a condom from his nightstand, pinching the tip and rolling it onto his length.

“You ready, sweetness?” Unable to help crinkle in your nose, or the giggle that bubbles in your throat at the name, you lean up to tug him down to you; taking the time to enjoy his slow, deep kisses before moving on to the main event, uncaring if you could taste yourself on his lips. As you two part, a trail of saliva follows, which he wipes at with his thumb, rubbing it across your bottom lip gently.

“You’re absolutely sure about this?”

“I’m sure, Mark. No regrets,” you mutter more to yourself than to him, wondering how the human brain can choose to psych itself out at the worst of times. He flips you both over, having you straddle his lap as he places both of his hands on your sides, pausing briefly to litter your neck and chest with butterfly kisses, half of which you’re sure will blossom into a constellation of love bites.

“Feeling lazy now, are we?” you attempt to tease him once again to help settle your oncoming nerves.

“I’d rather you take it at your own pace, babygirl,” one of his hands moves up to run across your jaw, “I wanna learn what you like, what you don’t like, what makes you tick. If tonight’s the only shot I have at impressing you, so be it, but I’d love to take you out sometime... maybe do this all again someday.” Mark’s confession flows out naturally, but it’s obvious you’re not the only one feeling like you’re in over your head here, which makes you feel much more at ease.

“Look at you, Lee, I didn’t peg you to be someone to do things so out of order,” you tsk. “Isn’t it supposed to be a date first and then sex?” He unconsciously pouts at your teasing, bringing you to press another kiss to his lips, this time with the sole intention of pulling his jutting lower lip with your teeth.

“We’ll go out on a date wherever you want tomorrow, I promise,” he slurs into the crook of your neck, almost shy in his words now. It’s as if the admittance of feelings has made the night much more personal than either one of you intended, and yet, neither of you can find it in you to complain.

You slowly lower yourself onto his cock, shutting your eyes at the sheer pleasure beginning to build up again. Mark lets out the softest of whines despite his deep voice, absolutely enamored by the way your warm walls seem to just trap him right in, making him never wish to leave the paradise between your legs.

You start to find your rhythm the more you bounce yourself in his lap, shifting from grinding down slowly to humping into him with fervor. Mark tries desperately to quiet his moans by meeting your lips with his, only for it to not work out quite as intended when your noses bump into one another. You two simply laugh it off, his hands sliding down to your thighs and back, head falling back as it resonates with the headboard.

“Fuuckk,” the word escapes Mark’s lips in a drawn-out drawl. “You feel so good baby, so.. so fucking good,” he grunts as he thrusts up into you, checking for your reaction until you nod, giving him the green light. Mark doesn’t hold back anymore after that, meeting your hips with his own, hitting even harder now, much deeper than before.

“Looks like I might be staying until breakfast after all,” you pant, dropping yourself into his lap, exhausted. Mark chuckles into the break he’d been sucking at, nudging at your chest with his nose to get your attention.

“Want me to take over if you’re too tired?” His voice was far too sweet for the way he was still shallowly thrusting into your heat, too needy to think straight but still focusing as much of his attention as possible on your own needs. You nod before leaning to place your forehead on his shoulder. Duly noted, don’t skip leg day.

Mark picks up speed with renewed fervor, holding your hips in place as he thrusts upwards at an angle that fills you up deliciously. He thumbs at your clit, eager to get you off before he cums, already racing you towards your orgasm whether he wanted to or not.

“Ok this is going to sound kind of embarrassing but you’re so fucking hot and you feel amazing, I don’t think I can last much longer,” Mark admits openly, honestly.

“That’s fine by me, I’m fucking exhausted,” you two stop to laugh at the double entendre before rutting yourselves into one another in search of release. You’re only allowed a quick warning before you feel him cum into the condom, the pulsing of his cock being the final trigger to your orgasm.

You whimper and whine in his lap as Mark keeps rubbing your clit, eventually stopping him when it gets too much, feeling too sensitive for any more. He tilts his head to press a kiss onto your forehead, cradling the back of your head with one arm as the other encircles your waist. Both of you start to slip from your current position as Mark slowly slides down, pulling out with a hiss and parting from your entanglement of limbs to dispose of the used condom.

“Man, that was lame,” Mark breaks the silence, almost making you worry before adding, “I wasn’t supposed to come before you did.” He drapes an arm over his head after his statement, rejoining you on the mattress now. It’s adorable how he’s beating himself up over something you found so trivial. After all, it wasn’t like you didn’t come, in fact, you’d come twice tonight.

“Mark, please don’t worry about that. It’s fine, baby,” you coo at him, leaning up on an elbow to play with his hair. “You did wonderful, and it’s not like I was dissatisfied, so please, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Mark, ever the perfectionist, opts not to answer, but rather vows to do better next time. Oh, how he hopes there’s a next time.

“So, about that date tomorrow...” he changes the subject, falling hard for the twinkle in your eyes as you two discuss your plans for the following day. He’s almost shocked at himself with how domestic he was already acting around you, how gentle he was and how carefully he wanted to treasure you. You stop halfway into your rambling when you notice the silly grin plastered on Mark’s face.

“You haven’t heard a damn thing I said, have you?” You stop stroking his hair, nose huffing as you realize you were wasting your breath. Mark simply pulls you down into his chest, wrapping you tight into his embrace, too bashful to say things like these to your face.

“I was just busy thanking all the divine beings for shoving us into that raggedy closet tonight,” he muses, mulling over his words carefully. “You know, I’m not so sure I would have had the courage to finally ask you out if it wasn’t for that little stunt tonight.” You’re almost shocked at his confession, but find you can only nod as you’d been in the same predicament just hours prior.

“My friend is never going to let me heat the end of this,” you groan as Mark laughs at your pathetic struggle. He brings his hand under your chin, tilting it until you’re looking up at him.

“Those were definitely more than seven minutes in heaven,” Mark purrs, “and these moans were definitely not fake,” he smirks at the light rose color dusting on your cheeks. You slap weakly at his bicep, it’s all you can do to stop yourself from spontaneously combusting.

“And I’d like for nothing more than several years in heaven with you,” Mark thinks to himself as you snore softly in his arms, blissfully ignorant of the lovesick look in his eyes yet again.

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Stuff: Close Enough: Logans Run’d and Room Parents

IT’S FINALLY HERE, PERFORMING FOR YOU. Seriously I have waited 3 years for this. And while yes thanks to a combination of a french animation festival and HBO’s own oopsie doodle I was able to watch 3 episodes already, and review them, it dosen’t make this any less sweet.  The fandom can finally come togehter as a whole and enjoy the hell out of the series. And doubling my excitment is the fact that HBO Max dropped 15 episodes! 14 episodes bundled into half hours and one extra long episode that seems to feature one of the greatest musicans and comedians of all-time, a man who needs no introduction but hell if i’m not giving him one. WEIRD, AL, YANKOVIC!

I could not be more excited if I tried. And yes that’s with full awarness my pre-amphibia and owl house workload just became at LEAST 4 times what I expected and this may be all there is. Having to review 12 episodes still means getting to WATCH 12 episodes of a show I truly adore. It’s an easy trade off. So with that out of the way, we can dig into close enough’s second two episodes and see if the show can keep the momentum from the first pair! Door’s open, let’s do this! The full review and spoilers under the cut. 

Logans Run’d   With Candace having her first sleepover Josh and Emily (Who apparently aren’t on good enough terms with their parents to have them watch her something I hope they explore later in the series), have their first Candace free evening and spend it as you’d expect for a 35 year old couple: Pelvic thrusting to turn down to what while doing general errrands then planning to have a nice night in of tea and the great british baking show, which continues this show’s hard to get used to trend of using actual brand names.  The two invite Bridgette to join them which she scoffs at saying the pair, and Alex who is not only delighted to join them but is in an old timey sleeping costume with listening horn which, no joke, is his profile picture on the show’s website, which feels perfect honestly and I love everything about that. 

The three soon realize to their horror through flashback that they indeed are old (Hilariously alex’s is literally just his introduction in this episode), and beg Bridgette to take them along to a club, Logan’s Run’d. What follows is the three of them getting hard core drunk all the way to 9PM while  Bridgette flirts with a younger guy and youtube sensation and who looks like the earth 3 version of hank venture.. until it turns out he’s actually a toddler wearing some sort of robot suit because of course.  Things go south however both as our heroes realize their running out of steam.. and as another 30 something is made VIP>.. which in this club is being murdered to death by a giant fan. With blood which I”m sure JG was giddy to do first chance it was approriate given he did 8 years of a show on a children’s network and children’s networks hate blood as much as they hate actually letting shows mention the concept of death directly by name.  Naturally the four of them want to book it out of there: While Bridgette , if she wasn’t lying about her age to the toddler, isn’t in the danger zone, she still just hit on a toddler and is naturally afraid of going to prison, but get stopped by the bar guy. Alex, in a supremeley sad yet badass moment, pulls out his blockbuster card and prepares to sacrifice himself for his friend’s sake: Partly because he cares about them and candace and partly because he’s worried he has nothing left to live for now he’s old, something I myself worry about going into my 30′s next year. Josh (Emily takes a second to join in) rushes to save his best bud and the two reassure Alex he has a future, a future of not having to get new music, of having nights of just relaxing and watching tv and getting pepper in your beard for , as Alex puts it “That george clooney look” Bridgette was the last one and guards her friends from being murdered for obvious reasons before breaking the fan.  Our heroes are saved, alex and me honestly as all of that sounds really appealing to be honest and I live 2/3 of it already, are convinced that growing old is pretty sweet. Oh and the owner turns out to be an old guy, as Alex realizes when he refrences logans run and is murdered by the crowd. Our heroes enjoy pancakes, Bridgette still finds the guy cute which.. no no bridgette just no, and Alex muses about them having seen a man die.  Final Thoughts: A decent episode.. while not as good as 100% no stress day ahead of it or the previous episode, i’ts a simple episode with good gags, an utterly great character moment for Alex which shows that despite his weirdo exterior he’s a damn good guy and he has something to live for. Also the toddler subplot was stupid and kinda creepy. A decent gag filled episode withs ome great ones and some really good animation. Also the opening is utterly iconic, easily one of the shows best jokes so far and probably in total and still works despite the use of turn down for what being slightly dated, but it works because it’s just really damn funny. Not the series best thus far but it’s still okay if a standard episode is this enjoyable. 

Room Parents: Now this is the good shit. It’s parent meeting time at Candace’s school with Me Daughter Teacher having one last announcment while Josh is about to pass out from having to hold in 3 powerades... dude should’ve gone for gatorade.. it still goes through you it just tastes objectivley better. Anyways me Daughter Teacher locks the room for the announcment because he needs a room parent and things quickly turn to purge as everyone is either fleeing or trying to murder each other to avoid it. While i’m not a parent, I can at leat understand not wanting to give time to do this when your schedule is likely already a hellscape. Josh (Who wonders if they got a purge going, got a good laugh out of me. ), being basically what if Mr. Peanutbutter had an illigitmate son he dind’t know about, and i’m still not convinced he’s not his dad until the show proves otherwise, happily volunteers to Emily’s horror.  Josh however.. is entirely game. He even makes a dad joke calling it a “Fun Raiser” to emily’s annoyance. It’s a nice show of just HOW opposite the two are: Emily being more stressed, as 100% stress day proved/will prove given it’s after this episode even though i’ve already seen it but it’s set later but...

The point is she’s a ball of stress while he’s a ball of enthusasim just like his dad, who i’m now just.. 100% convinced is his dad and dosen’t know it. Prove me wrong. Anyways Josh meets Nikki another parent whose own son is ominously framed in shadow because of course something weird about her who offers to pitch in.. and is also transparently intrested in josh.  The next day Josh and nikki talk on the phone and Bridgette and Alex instantly pick up that she’s into him and that josh is the kind of guy every girl wants, with Bridgette sighting the look when he inhales mustard and Alex, being the objectivley best, citing his thin papery jack of clubs body type. I’m now 100% convinced they all had a foursome at some point before the divorce which Emily tries not to think about and Emily isn’t convinced.. until Josh, in another great gag, says Nikki said “wash your balls, so random”.  Emily, now panicked, enlists Pearle who gladly volunteers her spy van, because Pearle is also objectivity the best, to go spy on alex in a montage set to heart’s crazy on you were we get our image for this episode which is a great gag.. especailly Emily mouthing “Wait afterwords’ and it being followed by them going to the sex hotel.. which is actually the essex hotel.. which is for affairs as it’s sign says. It’s hard not to just list gags for this show because it’s damn good but i’ll try.  Emily then confronts Josh that night (doing the dramatic light turning on thing by holding the lamp another great gag), and Josh explains no he’s not cheating on her because he’s a pure boy, and he aquises to her, also finally realizing Nikki’s been transparently trying to seduce him.  Naturally their attempt to uncoroomparenther before the Fundraiser goes pear shaped as it turns out Nikki is a con artist who pulls what professionals call a josh , scam a stressed parent, tie him up or kill him and then steal the fundraiser money for a school, for a living (She has another one cooking at the moment) and leaves them. Emily orders a knife via a delivery service, while a waiting Pearle wonders where they are.. which raises a lot of questions. WHy pearle is there is easy, she’s supporting Candace and her friends/tennants. That part is easy. Why she brought Randy, who at least at this point is objectively useless and why Alex and BRidgette AREN’T there I can’t explain. Maybe mecha pope garfield rose from the grave. Maybe Bridgette’s fucking that clown again. Maybe Alex has more garifled theroies to bust out. Actually those last two answer my question for me.. I mean someome’s gotta reveal Garfield was a founding member of the Justice Society of America. 

Our heroes arrive however to Foil Nikki , who thent ries to escape on a children’s train.. which being a children’s train Josh and Emily just hop on and in a hilarious bit slowly remove the kids before ending up with Candace, who says “daddy’s girlfriend is getting away”. Jessica DiCiccio is a delight as Candace and her delivery is impecable here. However Nikki switches tracks and cranks up the speed. Thankfully while Emily and Candace fall off the train pearle and Randy, who I STILL don’t know why he’s in this episode he has no lines and does nothing, catch them, leaving it to Josh to fix his mess. After a breif fight and a nut shot Josh sucesfully swaps the money for Nikki’s fake son/dummy who she chokes bart style before both explodes when they hit a thermometor factory.  Our heroes win, the fundraiser is a sucess and the teachers have elected Josh room parent for life (”That can’t be legally binding” “IT’S LEGALLY BINDING!”)  Final Thoughts: A great , really damn funny episode with a great premise. While Emily being worried Josh would cheat seems weird given he’s a nice enough guy, it’s sometimes understandable to be panicky about that sort of thing and her worry is warnated given one party is trying to seduce her husband, josh is just too stupid to realize, which makes for a lot of great gags. It’s a really tighly done episode that like the above is more pure comedy and just hilarious, but has even better jokes and a much better executed premise to work with. And no weird toddler things. So overally a slam dunk.  I have more close enough reviews coming today, obviously though i’d rather watch the rest before reviewing them, but while I do you can shoot me an ask to talk more close enough, and in more serious matters... One of my best friend’s cat’s cancer has come back and being out of work and just having moved into a new appartment, he needs help paying for it. You can find the go fund me here.  And as always until we meet again, later days. 

[spitfirs]

┆ ——  did you hear about how RICHIE TOZIER moved to sinking rock ?  HE is 20 and i get the feeling that you could best describe him with the ache in your eyes after keeping them open too long, the click of buttons in an  arcade, the bitter taste of sarcasm, the smooth roll of curses slipping through your lips, the feeling of laughter bubbling up in the back of your throat, an endless stream of pop culture references, the careless ease of riding a bike down an empty street, the rush of performing for your friends, the satisfaction of making them laugh....  the last thing he remembers was MAKING A BLOOD OATH WITH THE LOSER'S CLUB.  

THEN ---

richie tozier is a trashmouth. that’s a universal constant. 

he was born in derry, maine in 1976. he was an only child.

his mother always wanted a girl but his father accepted his son with open arms and even encouraged his impressions and comedy

growing up, richie was bullied because of his glasses. 

he had a few friends who also weren’t very popular. the group grew to be called the loser’s club. 

when he’s 12, the losers first encounter IT: a child-eating clown creature in that lives in the sewers

they fight It and eventually send it back into the sewers, weakened. 

richie’s first memory of this life, his past life, is after the battle, when the loser’s club makes a blood oath to come back and defeat It when It comes back to haunt derry once more. 

NOW ---

all of his memories from before that summer was over have come back to him in pieces. he remembers his parents, the clown, the club, the bullies, his friends, the violence, the horror. but they’ve all come as dreams, which makes him less than inclined to believe them. he’s still not sure how real they could be. he just knows he recognizes some of the faces from those dreams....

still, not much has changed with richie, other than the shift in which time period he lives in.

he is still a loudmouth who thinks he’s funny and, sometimes, he actually is funny. 

depending on how you feel about people who don’t shut up, can’t sit still, and try to make a joke out of everything, richie is either the best or worst person. you choose, i guess.

has adhd but isn’t medicated for it.

wears contacts now! the big bottle cap glasses rarely see the light of day anymore, rip.

he is gay. it’s kind of a secret though, shh. 

interests include: rock music, awful patterned clothes, doing often unsuccessful impressions, video games, & scary movies, among other things.

the song that best describes him is TYPICAL STORY by HOBO JOHNSON 

i don't think i know much but i know i couldn't take a good punch. so if you feel like i've been talking enough, just tell me to shut up and i will gladly shut the fuck up!

... and last i knew, he was working as a COMMENTARY YOUTUBER. 

richie’s always been good at impressions and at making people laugh pissing people off. so, after high school, after dropping out of college, he combines both his talents to critique videos on the internet. he’s somewhat successful. he doesn’t let it go to his head though, it was already big enough to begin with.

i wonder how he’s going to cope with the oncoming disasters considering he tends to CRACK CRUDE JOKES. 

he earned the nickname trashmouth for a reason --- he can barely speak without throwing a curse or a crude joke into every sentence, even when it’s a stressful situation. and he is, despite everything, a coward. whoops.

plots ideas!

childhood... crushes? exes? --- i imagine richie trying to date girls at one point in his childhood. imagine... little kid dates! going to dances together! hanging out at the park! stuff like that. but it never ended well because... richie was well on his way to realize that he didn’t like girls, full stop. 

crushes/exes... but this time men --- when he hit his late teens, he started accepting that yeah, he liked men. so he started dating some... in secret. he’s not very open about his private life in general but even less so about this.

siblings? --- it would be cool for him to have siblings @ sinking rock. he’d be a nightmare of a brother, though, so, y’know. apply at own risk.

an enemy? --- like i said, he’s either the best or the worst and for this person? richie is the worst. can’t even stand to look at him. maybe connected to the next connection, which is....

people who know him from his youtube --- he’s semi famous, maybe about 800k subs? enough to be recognizable to certain circles. it’d be neat if people were either fans or hated his videos. maybe he reacted to your character’s video & it was either a good-natured roast or it was mean-spirited. this one’s rly open!

anything else & everything else! childhood neighbors, high school friends, college roommates from that brief time he was in college before he dropped out!! just connect w this trashmouth & i will love you!!!

[gothamgroup]

Reflections

It was a heady, humid day when the Valeska twins first snuck into the Hall of Mirrors by themselves. 

The day had been a wet one, a ferocious outpouring of rain spilling from the clouds that menaced in the sky and the sun blotted out by a steel grey. The heat had remained though, due to the nature of summer and as such Lila Valeska was lying on a rickety sun chair, in the middle of the day, an umbrella stuck into the ground to prevent her from getting soaked if the heavens decided to crack open again. She stretched and heard sounds from inside the trailer behind her, causing her to scowl. 

“Stupid fucking brats,” she thought to herself, “always getting in my goddamn way! Can’t a woman drink a little in peace around here?”

A little in Lila’s case was around 2 and a half bottles of the strongest anything she could get her hands on, and for the most part of the day she drank in peace. However, a minute or two after she’d decided to rest on outside, Jeremiah, her oldest - or was he younger? She could never remember- slipped and fell on the trailer steps. He was trying to get outside to count how many cars were on the Ferris wheel as it went around and round again, the lights flickering brightly against the dark sky. Because he was only a small child, or in Lila’s opinion a little brat, he promptly burst into tears. He was far too noisy, and as such Lila abandoned the deckchair, rising and slapping him across the face. This only made him cry louder and Lila began to throw punches, in her drunken attempt to make her child shut the hell up.

The unmistakable sound of his brother being abused brought Jerome outside, who attempted to shove Lila away. He was no match for the weight of a fully grown woman however, and he slipped, nearly cracking his head on the concrete paving at the bottom of the steps. 

All of this seemed terribly amusing to Lila, who was floating somewhere between her abusive drunken state and her abusive sexually promiscuous state, so she threw back her head and laughed. An ugly laugh, tinged with malice and whiskey, showing her bright white teeth she’d paid $300 for and driving Jeremiah, who she’d paid around $50 on in his whole life, to leap up - and bite his mother hard on the hand. After the first bite, the tiny redhead didn’t stop there. Jeremiah clawed, scratched and bit while Lila let out a series of high-pitched squealing noises, unable to pull back as her child kept his iron strong and hateful attack focused on her.

Jerome, nursing the headache he had sustained from falling, wondered if this time Lila was going to finally be taught a lesson, as it seemed as though Jeremiah was about to bite her whole hand off. But just as the small redhead let his hopes up, he saw the main figure of his nightmares stalking towards the trailer, and those hopes promptly perished.

“What is the fucking meaning of this?” shouted the burly aggressive figure, known only to Jerome and Jeremiah as the Snake Man, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, boy?”

Jeremiah instantly dropped hold of his mother’s arm. He too recognised the voice and his heart sank into the ground, burying itself 6 feet deep. He turned around slowly, his thin frame trembling, only for Snake Man’s fist to make solid contact with his face. The punch stung viciously, and he fell once again, but only this time onto the ground with a sickening crack noise. 

Jerome screamed in horror, but was instantaneously smacked by Lila, and the cry turned to a whimper. He stared disbelieving at the twitching figure of Jeremiah, who was whining faintly, his leg dislocated at an unnatural angle. A gash had formed where his glasses had cut into his face, a small trickle of blood dripping slowly down, mixing with the rainwater on the ground.

“Babe,” drawled Lila petulantly, giving Jeremiah’s fragile body a kick in the ribs to check if he was still alive, “why’d ya have to go and do that? Now I gotta pay for the brat’s knee to be put back in, or whatever.”

“Never mind him,” Snake Man dismissed, “I heard you got yourself some good liquor in.”

At this, Lila grinned wickedly. “Yeah, well maybe that’s true. What do you want if it is?”

Snake Man’s arm wrapped itself around Lila’s waist predatorily, and Jerome held back the sudden need to throw up. “I was thinking maybe we could get really drunk... and maybe do something fun?” 

Lila threw her arms around his neck and purred. “What counts as fun for you then, handsome?”

Pulling his regular hook-up a little closer, the snake tamer hummed a creepy low “You, baby” which caused Lila to burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Why don’t we go and do that then,” she chuckled, before turning an ice-cold glare on Jerome. “Take care of your useless brother, d’ya understand?”

“I don’t know, I really think he needs a hospital- “Jerome began to protest but the words died in his throat when his mother raised a fist into the air as a warning.

“Do not test my patience, you wretch,” Lila hissed, “Now. Do. You. Understand?”

Jerome nodded weakly. “Yes ma’am.”

“Fine,” Lila allowed, lowering her hand and turning back to Snake Man. “C’mon, honey, we’ve got a lot to do,” she hummed, and with that, the two abusers turned and entered the trailer. 

 Jerome waited until the door to the trailer had completely shut, before scrambling to pick his brother up off the ground. His haphazard attempt elicited a few suppressed groans from Jeremiah, who knew that if he shouted out, he would only have to face the wrath of Lila again.

The two stumbled to their feet, with Jerome’s arms wrapped tightly around his brother’s waist for support. “Where do you wanna go?” Jerome started, looking over his shoulder at the trailer, “Cause I really don’t wanna stay here.”

Jeremiah took in a few shallow gasps of air, before murmuring, “The hall of mirrors. You’re going to need one if you’ve got to put my leg back in place.”

Jerome frowned worriedly. “I dunno if that’s such a good idea, what if I end up making it worse? That’s what mom says I always do.”

“Nobody else is going to help us Jerome. C’mon. It really hurts, please!” Jeremiah begged, his white face turning paler by the second and Jerome sighed.

“Okay, just hang on- “ 

“Agh- “Jeremiah’s face contorted as he hobbled forward, Jerome’s hands around him the only thing keeping him upright as he fought the need to fall and scream in agony. 

The two passed the bright red circus tent and the stalls selling food they’d have to steal scraps of later, until they reached the large neon sign proclaiming “House of Mirrors! See into your past! See into your future!”

Jerome pushed the vinyl sheet that posed itself as a door out the way, and the twins entered a hallway decked with shining mirrors. Their reflections gazed back at them - two small redheads, one with a visibly dislocated leg and both with bruises littered over their faces. 

Jerome led Jeremiah forward through the mirror maze, until they reached a room where he felt that nobody was likely to walk into. Gently, he helped Jeremiah onto the ground, avoiding touching his sore leg. 

Jeremiah gestured to Jerome. “I need you to put in back in.”

“How?” Jerome asked, equally disgusted and intrigued by the way his brother’s arm twisted at an angle. “What do I have to do?”

“I read about it in once, in a book someone left behind the tent. You gotta grab my leg with both hands and twist it the right way, pushing down, I think. You’re not supposed to, but Lila will kill us both if we call an ambulance.”

Jerome wrapped his arms around Jeremiah’s leg, which was incredibly tense. “Hey, Jeremiah, why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”

Jeremiah’s face screwed up in confusion. “Jerome, what? Just put my leg back in place!”

Jerome pouted. “C’mon! Just ask me why!”

“Okay then. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”

Jerome grinned. “Because they taste funny!”

Jeremiah stared at his brother, until he began to laugh. “Jerome that is such a stupid jo- “

Taking advantage of his brother’s distraction, Jerome pushed and twisted down on Jeremiah’s leg.

Jeremiah screamed loudly. Jerome began to panic.

“Oh god, did I do something wrong? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to! Can I fix it?” 

Jeremiah shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It just really, really hurt. I hope there’ll be no permanent damage,” he grimaced, running his fingers over the hopefully relocated joint.

“Okay,” Jerome sighed in relief, before slouching down onto the ground. A few minutes passed in silence, Jerome fiddling with his own fingers, until he turned over to face Jeremiah. He found his twin staring intently into one of the floor length mirrors, one hand extended forward, as if he expected his own reflection to reach out and touch him.

“Jerome,” he began.

“Yeah, Jeremiah?”

“Do you wonder what you’ll be like when you grow up?”

Jerome blinked. “Sometimes, I guess. Why?”

“Do you think we’ll turn out like Lila?”

The sentence shot a chill down Jerome’s spine. He’d never admit it, but becoming his mother terrified him more than anything else. She was truly his worst nightmare. “No way.”

“Are you sure? Because, when I look in the mirror sometimes, I see her looking back at me. Her eyes. Her grin. Plastered across my face, and I can’t get it off.” He swivelled and looked at his brother. Tears were welling in his eyes. “I don’t want to be like her, Jerome.”

A beat passed, one that hung heavy in the air like the heat outside, until suddenly Jerome wrapped his arms tightly around Jeremiah, hugging him close.

“You’re never going to be like her, Miah. She’s a bad person. She’s evil and vindictive and – and you’re good, Miah,” he whispered to his brother, burying his face against Jeremiah’s threadbare cardigan. “You’re great Miah, and you’re nothing like mom.”

Jeremiah weakly smiled against Jerome’s arms, and reciprocated the hug equally as hard. “You’re great too, Jerome. And Lila’s wrong. You don’t mess everything up.” 

They held each other for a little while longer, in a rare moment of sibling solidarity, until Jeremiah pulled back.

“Do you wanna be in the circus like Lila, though?”

“Nah,” Jerome said decidedly, “I want to be a solo act. Maybe stand-up comedy if I ever leave this place.” He looked at his own reflection and saw himself as a grown-up dressed in a good suit, telling jokes to an unseen crowd who were roaring with laughter.

“Makes sense. You’re good at making people laugh.” 

“Gee, thanks Jeremiah. What about you?”

Jeremiah studied his reflection again. He could see the Ferris wheel and the carriages he was trying to count as they went around and round. As soon as they finished a rotation, they morphed into a gleaming rail system. He could imagine all the parts in expert detail, and himself standing and watching as his work helped the daily commuters of Gotham city.

“An engineer. I like knowing how thinks work and I really like putting things together. And taking them apart again.”

“Alright. What about getting married?”

Jeremiah gawped at Jerome. “What do you mean, marriage?”

“I dunno,” Jerome responded, awkwardly pulling at his shoelaces, “I was just thinking. Mom never got married and I don’t think I want to be either.”

“So, you won’t be in a relationship then?” Jeremiah pushed, now curious about his brother’s opinion. 

“No, I think I’d like to meet someone. I just don’t want to be married. Too much fuss and it’s only some paper,” Jerome shrugged. 

“I want to get married.”

Jerome looked surprised. “Really? You always seemed so, an- ane- anel- “

“Analytical? I suppose,” Jerome conceded, “but I’m a bit of a romantic at heart.” His face took on a dreamy look as he spoke. “I want a big wedding. A proper one with lots of flowers, and a big cake. I want you there, obviously, and a huge reception too. You can do stand-up if you want, and it’ll be a nice cool night, with loads of stars out.”

“And you’ll want a pretty wife in a wedding dress?” Jerome interjected.

“Uh! I-I don’t know.”

Jerome grinned “or a handsome husband in a nice suit?” 

“Maybe...” Now Jeremiah looked embarrassed.

“Thought so!” Jerome teased.

“Well, what about you?” Jeremiah retorted, still blushing. “What type of person would you want to marry?”

Jeremiah shrugged. “I don’t really care. It’s not important to me. As long as they’re fun and they care about me.” Another moment passed.

“Do you think Lila would mind?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, because I’d prefer to marry... And because you don’t care either way. Would she get upset?”

“I don’t care what mom thinks,” Jerome spat, his voice suddenly slipping into an unknown raw anger. “Her opinion is worthless. She’s just a stupid fucking- “His voice stopped when he realised how livid he was. His hands were shaking, his face was hot with rage and Jeremiah was gaping at him in shock.  “I’m sorry, I just- “

“No, I get it,” Jeremiah returned. “She’s the worst.”

Jerome cracked a lopsided smile. “Yeah. She’s the worst. How’s your leg now?” 

“Still stings awfully, but I’ll get over it.”

“Okay. I’ll see if I can get you any medical supplies for when it’s healing.”

Yet another moment passed. Until-

“Hey Jerome?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being such a good brother.”

“It’s nothing. Really.”

“Still. Thank you.” 

Another moment.

“Hey, Miah?

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jerome.”

[realisationanddoubt]

The binary: realisations and rants

Can we talk about the gender binary a bit? Of course we can. It’s my blog, we can talk about Naruto or the impossibility of clown cars if I wish. So I’ve been thinking a lot about me after my break up as, I suppose, is normal. Thanks to this I’ve stumbled across an identity crisis I’ve been putting off for years. I’m non-binary and that’s a weird thing to just non-chalantly write down for me. See, I’ve spent years talking about how I don’t really care about gender. As a bisexual, I’ve had the conversation numerous times. As a stereotypically effiminate person I’ve spoken many times about how I’m comfortable in myself acting however I want because the gender stereotypes hold no interest to me. But I’ve never really bothered to delve into why.

It’s taken awhile to come to terms with being non-binary. It’s like coming to terms with my sexuality all over again. As usual, I’ve been presented a choice. The sexuality and identity fairy came to me twice now and happily asked “men or women” and I, in classic me style, didn’t really pay attention to the fact that there was a clear binary choice and only half listening just replied “Oh, no thank you!”

It’s difficult to live in a world defined by binaries and then realise you’re not really interested in participating. When I very first realised I might be non-binary a couple of months back, I got lost in a strange narrative. Do I need to start wearing make up? Should I make myself more androgynous, shave my beard? How do I present as non-binary? Of course the answer (For me) is you don’t. I should have really known that from the start because I had to do the same thing with my bisexuality. It took many years to get from “How do I let everyone know I’m bisexual?” to “I don’t really care who knows what my sexuality is and I have no desire to share that information.” I’ve approached being non-binary much the same. I get that people are proud of their sexuality and identity and seriously, good for them. That must be a nice thing to have. Thing is I’m not particularly proud. Let me see if I can put this into words.

So for me, sexuality and identity are both very matter of fact. I’m not proud of either of those aspects of me but don’t get me wrong, I’m not ashamed. The idea of being proud of either of those things is, for me at least, the same as being proud of having curly hair or brown eyes. Sure, there was some emotional turmoil coming to terms with my sexuality and identity but it’s not like these are things I had to strive and work for. They’re just facts. I don’t really care if people call me he or they. They feels a bit more natural I guess but it doesn’t particulalry bother me being called he. And note, I get called he because I have a beard and a masculine build. When I was a teenager with heavy eyeliner and long flowing hair I got called miss and she a lot and that never particularly bothered me either. I’ve never particualraly felt some kind of rage at being misgendered. I don’t really care that people assume I’m straight (I kind of care in that way of, Jesus dude open your mind and stop making assumptions but not enough that I’ve felt the need to correct anyone.)

Though I wonder how much this is a story I tell myself. Just like it’s difficult telling yourself actually, you’re not any of the traditional genders, telling yourself you don’t really care about presenting and pronouns in a community that’s so fired up about them feels weird. 

“Welcome to the queer community! Would you like to be angry about misrepresntation of your sexuality or your identity?” The queer fairy politely but firmly asks.

“Ah, no thank you, I’ve already eaten.” Josh replies, not really paying attention to the climate or the question.

I even considered whether I’m supposed to change my name. Am I supposed to change my name to something a bit more androgynous? Maybe start calling myself Alex or Frankie or any other name that could be either gender? But I don’t want to. I’m just Josh. I’m a bisexual, non binary mess and Josh is my descriptor. 

Should I care more? Should I be fighting some war against ignorance? Am I somehow doing a disservice by not participating?

Not participating is basically my default. “Here lies Josh, they didn’t participate.”

I kind of make life more difficult for myself by not divulging these things. People have asked me before “Are you gay?” and I just reply “nope!”. Then I get annoyed that people just assume I’m straight despite literally never giving any evidence to the contrary. I guess it’s just a problem with the system. My sexuality and identity are improtant to me but they’re personal. I’m not going to talk about them to work colleagues or friends anymore than I’m going to talk about my kinks. 

“Hey Josh are you gay?” My well meaning but misguided colleague asks.

“Oh no, I’m bisexual, non-binary and I like scratching and biting during sex.”

You really going to just out your kinks like that online huh my dude? It should say enough about me that I feel a swell of anxiety to putting a fairly vanilla kink on a personal blog no one I know will ever read. Do I really want Tumblruser420 to know I like biting in bed? Feels like an overshare. 

This really became a bit of a deep dive into gender identity huh? I guess I’m just going through some stuff. 

Quick tangent, whenever I hear a noise in my house, despite having two cats that are always the cause, I need to check every room just in case. I even check the bathroom which only has one very small window next to the door. Just in case some sneak thief broke in through the plughole I guess. Some S’wit. Some N’wah.

God I’m just going through some Stuff y’know? I worry how much of my outlook might be down to internalised shame and not just non-chalant IDGAF attitude. I haven’t put Non-Binary on my tinder profile. I mean I have but I’ve set it not to show. I don’t know if that’s out of fear of being judged for it or simply because I haven’t come to terms with it myself. To be clear, I definitely haven’t come to terms with it myself yet. I have bisexual on my profile but I guess I’m still kind of ashamed of that.

Is it shame? I guess it’s more fear. Not like a fear for myself or my safety or anything. More a fear of people’s perceptions. It’s not even that I’m scared people will be shitty to me because of it. If that’s the kind of person they are, fuck them. I just don’t want to be “That queer one”. Does that make sense? I kind of hate to term cishet because it only seems to be used as derogatory but I need to use it a sec. I think the main reason I’m happy to just pass as cishet is because then I’m allowed to be a person. The second you’re something different that’s it. That defines you. I get it needs to be a conversation so people stop being ignorant and hateful but at the same time even just the discussion about it feels like it’s pushing me into this definition. Like being bi or being non-binary means I’m a certain kind of person. 

I guess it’s the classic tale of any ism. Racism, sexism, homophobia...ism. I am bisexual. I am non-binary. But I don’t want to be the bisexual. Being defined by something like that, something so out of your control... It feels so... dismissive? I’m not a person anymore. I’m not Josh. I’m a bisexual. I’m non binary. I’m white. I present as a man. All that shit. This is starting to become a rant on the construction of society as a whole and the role of privelege and what that means huh?

I’m creative, emotional, witty. That’s what I’m defined by. That’s who I am. I’m not just some pigeon hole word. Define me by my facets, not my facts.

Realisations are a funny thing. I have a lot of realisations in my life and mostly I like them but this one leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It’s not that I don’t care, that much is apparent after this rant. I’m just so tired of it. I avoid all the discourse and conversations about any kind of identity issues because I’m tired of defending myself. It doesn’t matter where you fall on the spectrum. These kind of labels aren’t useful. They’re just a method of pinning something to someone that says “Can I just hate this person out of hand.” and it’s rife. It’s everywhere and it’s all the same. I don’t care if you’re having a rant about black people or a rant about cishets. It’s all just vicious hate. We live in a world where people are so desperate to have someone to hate because they’re different. Whether that difference is in the majority or the minority it doesn’t matter. Hating all men or all straights or all whites is no different from hating all trans people or all queer people or all black people. Hating all millenials because they’re special snowflakes is no different from hating all boomers because they’re not progressive. It’s just pure hatred because they’re different. Just blanket statements attached to something someone can’t control to give you a reason to say “Oh don’t worry, I’m allowed to hate them”.

Maybe keeping my identity or my sexuality to myself makes me a coward. Fine. I refuse to participate in these wars of hatred. I just want to spend time with my cats, fall in love, help people and laugh. 

As always, as will be written on my gravestone one day, I refuse to participate. To all those people who fight for my ideal world on my behalf, thank you. To all those people on either side, progressive or traditional, just to hate one subset of people, go fuck yourselves. I’ll just be over here, trying to make the dying smile and trying to give people a little longer in this world to spend with the people they love.

That’s it. Rant over. I’m going to try and get another hour or two of sleep before work. I know it’s customary to drop the mic after a big speech but know if it felt like I did, I just fumbled putting it back into the mic stand and I’m trying to own it. If you look closely you’ll see that the blood has drained from my face and perspiration is clear on my forehead.