#i wonder if she ships sambucky thought

[duquesah]

Found out my crush's favorite mcu series is tfatws, let's fucking gooo

[cobrafantasies]

https://www.tumblr.com/merakiaes/648669262112751616/tfatws-ep5-spoilers-below-the-cut-do-you-know

I want to hear your Sarahbucky thoughts! I was reading this post and it was making me think about how this point in time Bucky is in a better place mentally and when he is, he starts flirting with Sarah and we get to see some of that old Bucky come back. I guess I keep wondering if I’m the only one who thinks that this might not have happened a week sooner for him. Am I the only one who thinks that Bucky couldn’t have and wouldn’t have flirted with anyone until his therapist got through to him and his relationship with Sam repaired enough for buck to decide to start letting people in? I stand by him not being interested in Leah, which is why he didn’t flirt her up like he did with sarah, but i wonder if maybe i’m the only one who reads bucky’s character as someone who wasn’t developed enough to make moves like this until arc reached the ‘turning zemo over to the wakandans’ point in his story. I don’t know, do you think Civi War!Bucky and/or Wakanda!Bucky would have also turned on the charm with Sarah if he had met her back then?

Hi there! I'm surprised I was asked this since I don't actively write/repost SarahBucky but I'm happy to share my thoughts anyhow. I completely agree that it's very possible Bucky wouldn't have been ready to flirt with anyone (Sarah included) even if he had met her any sooner. I think working with Sam and specifically the time spent in Louisiana were major factors in Bucky slowly lowering his defenses and opening back up. I think a huge reason the real, flirty Bucky Barnes is able to reemerge might be because Sam and Sarah already know who he is, parts of what he's been through, and the mere fact that he has a prosthetic arm. I believe that was part of why Bucky seemed uncomfortable with Leah, she asked about his gloves and he lied to her, understandably so, but he felt the need to hide himself. He doesn't need to hide in front of Sam or Sarah. Specifically, I think CivilWar!Bucky had way too much to process and recover from and then proceeds to go through yet another traumatic event. Then Wakanda!Bucky has his first real chance at healing. I do believe he experienced some peace in Wakanda but he was still adjusting to so much. And then he immediately needs to fight in the war against Thanos. In TFATWS, I personally don't think his mandated therapy (as it was shown in the show) was helpful to him at all but oppositely, being accepted by the Wilson family changed everything for him. I will say I'm a SamBucky shipper at heart but that first meeting of Sarah and Bucky when Bucky introduces himself, smiles at her like that, and the way he repeats her name like he needs to hear it again — I swear that nearly tempted me to write SarahBucky many times back when the show first came out. And I have read a handful of wonderful stories on them. I fully support them as a couple even if I don't actively ship it. Anyway, thanks for the ask!

[wenellyb]

Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

1.

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “  - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

[booksandabeer]

For the fic rec asks: 😂, 🛳, and ✨️ please 🥰🥰

(Hope you're having a great day 🤗)

Hello, lovely Tessa! I’m having a great day today, I hope you do, too! Thank you so much for sending this in! 🥰

🛳️ A fic that brought you aboard a new ship

You know I kind of have a one-track mind when it comes to shipping, so it's mostly SteveBucky for me. The only other pairing I started to read regularly over the past year is SamBucky (I might make a separate rec post for that one day because I've since found some really excellent fics). I think the first SamBucky story I read that really convinced me was this one:

Muscle Memory by seapigeon | 13K, 3 parts in series, rated Teen-Explicit

Starts mid-season of TFATWS and then moves beyond that. This is only 13K but it packs such an emotional punch. This is Bucky and Sam dancing around each other, and away from each other, and then finally with each other. Also, I highly recommend everything else written by this author (including a fantastic WIP).

😂 A fic that made you laugh out loud

While we’re at it, let’s do another SamBucky rec:

we're awesome, totally genius by napricot | 4K, Teen

A short and sweet Modern No-Powers AU, in which hot teacher Bucky rescues Sam from a bad date with Tony Stark’s "evil twin". It is wonderful! Napricot is another one of those authors where I can wholeheartedly recommend everything she’s ever written. She has a special talent for taking the crackiest of premises and turning them into something moving and emotionally sincere. And still keep it hilarious! 

✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time

Hmmm...I think I would like to get the chance to read some of the “big ones” again for the first time and really savor them this time around. When I first read a lot of them, I was just gorging myself on all things Stucky I could find at the time and so some of them kind of tend to bleed together or I can hardly even remember anything other than...they were really good? But since I want to give some love to lesser known fics, let’s go with:

As Time Goes By by Trouble_With_The_Snap | 66K, Mature

This is a tough read--there are no happy endings here--and I realize that this is not a fic for everybody. In fact, it might not appeal to most people. However, it is one of the best fics I have ever read. I’ll just copy here what I wrote in my bookmark because I think it sums it up best:

A smart & thoughtful investigation into how Steve's Endgame choice would realistically play out. Brutally honest and absolutely devastating without being pointlessly cruel or wholly lacking in compassion towards the characters. Masterfully set up, patiently developed, confidently structured, beautifully written. And the payoff! I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop - and BOY, did it DROP. 

Like I said, you'll need a masochistic streak a mile wide to do this to yourself, but holy shit, it is so, so good. I realize that this may seem like a strange choice for the “I want to experience this all over again” question, but the feeling that came over me when I started to realize what the author was doing here and where it would inevitably lead was just...I was floored.

This was fun! Let’s do it again some time! You can always ask for more recs outside of this ask game.

[sambucky4everlark]

Now that I watched Shang Chi it got clear to me that when the character isn't white Marvel/Disney doesn't bother to give them an official romantic partner.

I thought it was great that they didn't forced a relationship between Shang and Katy, and (considering that tfatws writers are insisting that Sambucky isn't canon) I confess I didn't miss a romantic plot for Sam, because it's ok not to have one, there are more important topics the story needs to address.

What infuriates me is the proportion, because we already don't have enough poc relevant characters or heroes and within the ones we have only T'Challa and Okoye has an official romantic partner.

Rhodes and Nick Fury are present since phase one and they didn't bother to even briefly mention that they have a wife or something like they gave to Hawkeye and that cop in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Luis from Ant-Man can't have a girlfriend but Darcy from Thor can date her intern. Maria Rambeau has a daughter but she's obviously a single mother, and Monica Rambeau when an adult is too busy with her work to thought about dating.

The Dora Milaje are treated more as a weapon than people so I don't know if is even fair to expect romance for them.

Sarah Wilson is also a single mother but in her case she's a widow and she's the luckiest one of this squad and got flirted twice.

No I haven't forgot about MJ, Spiderman's romantic partner. I really love this couple and I absolute worship Zendaya but I think is important to note she's a light skin person and the fact that Michelle and Peter are the only interracial couple in the mcu speaks a lot about colorism.

Before watching Captain Marvel and tfatws I thought they would pair up Carol with Nick and Sam with Sharon, and after I watched I was glad they didn't, but now wonder why they didn't.

For sure Carol doesn't need a romantic plot, and a story about a woman that doesn't revolves around a man and or love it's actually refreshing, but I can't help wonder if it would continue not having romance if the people around her (the ones who are not aliens) were white, and I dare to say that at the very minimum would be much more people shipping it on internet.

As for Sam and Sharon they barely interact so it would be really weird and like I said before they had more important things to deal with, I get that, but the thing is that every hero has a lot to deal with, but if the hero is a white man, Marvel always finds a way to still add romance to their story.

Don't get me wrong, I really like the majority of the couples from the mcu. Tony and Pepper, Steve and Peggy, Peter and Gamora, Wanda and Vision and a lot of others which the relationship with it's partner are important to their development.

But then there's couples like Steve and Sharon, Bruce and Natasha and more recently Loki and Sylvie that are so poorly developed and came out of nowhere making it seems that Marvel desperately needs to pair those characters when is actually really unnecessary.

Every time someone suggest two characters of the same sex may be a couple Marvel screams at our faces that is platonic, but they only remember that this word can also describe relationships between people of opposite sexes if one of the character is not white.

[cuntyqueerleondraisaitl]

Sambucky confession post #279

Ship: Sambucky

Fandom: Marvel

Warnings: Some mild description of gore

Fluff level: OMG

Summary: Sam is spending some quality time with his family, but a distressing call from Clint may just change his life forever

Note: Sorry for spelling errors. I've had this idea for a while and I thought it would be nice to get it out there. Sorry for any inconsistencies.

Sam chuckled, he didn't know why. He was just so happy. It had been only a month since he had last seen his sister, but it felt like forever. “Good morning“ Sarah walked into the small kitchen and placed a loving peck on his forehead “You look like you slept well”

Sam nodded, he had definitely had a good night. No nightmares, no waking up for no reason, He'd had slept for a solid, uninterrupted 10 hours. ”Any news from your boyfriend?” Sarah asked

Sam laughed again “He's not my boyfriend. Bucky and I are best friends but I just don't like him like that.” Sharon rolled her eyes. “You’re in denial, “ She said, but too softly for Sam to hear,. “The boys will be back in a couple hours, they're staying at a friend's house tonight.” He nodded.

His nephews were the closest thing he had to kids of his own. And Sam loved them like it too.

”You've got a call from Clint,” Sarah said, handing Sam his ringing phone. ” He probably just wants to give me some more information,” Sam said, still grinning “there was something about another Captain America meeting. They keep inventing more forms for me to sign.”

Sam tapped to open the call. Clints face appeared, it was choppy, like there wasn't service wherever he was.

"Sam, get here right away, my place. It's Bucky, I don't know If he'll make it. He was shot-" The connection fizzled out. Sam shot up out of his chair, crashing his bowl to the floor. "I have to go" Sarah looked concerned. "What happened?"

"I have to go RIGHT NOW." Sam had tears in his eyes. "Bucky- I can' lose Bucky. Not another one." Sam never even got to tell him- No. Bucky was going to live. "I need a way to get to Missouri fast."

Sarah tilted her head at him. "Oh. right." Sam ran up to the room he had slept the night before and took his wings out from underneath his bed. As he soared off into the early morning sun he wondered if Bucky would still be alive the next time he saw him.

Sam burst into Clints house, his face covered in sweat and his eyes brimming with tears. “WHERE IS HE?” Sam yelled it as loud as he could “I NEED TO SEE HIM.” Clint nodded, unfazed by Sam's yelling.

“Sam… You have to understand. He's only alive by a miracle really . The bullets, six of them, managed to miss his spine and his organs. He lost a lot of blood. You have to understand…�� Clint didn’t finish his sentence. Sam ignored him, and pushed his way to the back room. Bucky lay face up on the bed, the blood of six bullet wounds apparent through his bandages. Sam gripped Bucky's limp hand, and shut his eyes tight. Throughout the next few hours Clint described what happed, and Sam had to admit, if the situation had been different he would have been quite smitten with what had happened. Clint had gotten a choppy sounding call from an unknown number. The person claiming to be Sam. The impersonator claimed to have been tied up in a warehouse a couple hours away from Clints place. Bucky had not taken any extra time and rushed in immediately, blinded by ”some unknown desire to save his teammate“ as Clint called it. Following the callers instructions he had walked all the way into the back of the warehouse where he had been ambushed by a lone person and shot six times. Clint had shot an arrow at his feet and asked him who he was working for, to which he answered for nobody. Clint threw him off the balcony and killed him, before taking Bucky back to his place. Sam stayed by Bucky's side until late that night, when he drifted off, still gripping Bucky's hand he was only woken by a faint groaning sound. “Bucky” Sam sat up, peeling his cheek from Bucky’s sheets “Are you awake? Oh god, I have to go get Clint. Aw man this is-“

”No, Sam listen to me. I can't stay awake much longer. Listen I don't know if I'm going to make it. I just have to tell you-“ Bucky took a shaky breath, his face contorte, he was obviously in intense pain. “I have to tell you, I love you Sam.”

Sams eyes widened. Ok Sam. Calm down. He probably doesn’t mean it like that. Don't jump to amazin, wonderful conclusions. “I love you too Buck, you're a great friend.”

”No, not like that. Ever since I met you, ever since we started being, you know, friends. Sam, I wanted to be more. The only reason I'm telling you this is I don’t know if I'm gonna make it through this, but-“ Bucky never got to finish his sentence. Sam pressed his lips to his, letting him feel Bucky’s warmth and them merge into one.

Sam didn’t remember falling aslee, all he knew was Clint shaking him awake. “Sam, SAM.” For a horrible , horrible moment, Sam thought Bucky was gone. But then he saw Clints face “It’s a miracle, I think he's going to be ok. What did you do to him?” The memories of last night came flooding back. Sam looked away, embarrassed. ”Nothing, nothing at all.” He could feel the color rising in his cheeses, and also somehow felt the peircing of Clints eyes bearing into his neck. He knew, but somehow, he didn’t care. All that mattered was that Bucky was going to be okay.

Part 2? Idk, maybe it would be cute.

[b-u-c-k-y-b-a-r-n-e-s16-12-1991]

Back In The Day

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes know who they are. Heroes. Avengers. Saviours of the universe. Full-time frenemies. Here they discuss love, sexuality, and homophobia through the years.

Rating: Teen

Content: Homophobia mention, Hydra mention

Ship: Sambucky (alluded)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers (dw they just say 'Steve' like twice)

Word count: 1.8k

Tagging: @marvel-mushroom @lesbians-love-samwilson @purelyutilitarian @kiras-sunshine @daddypickle @icarusfellintomyarms @space-and-ace @fenny2613 @your-genderfluid-parental-figure @purple-cactus-cat @burntout-bi @classified-bluerose @disasterbionlineround2

——————————————————————

"Alright. When was the last time you kissed anybody?"

He and Sam have been sat here looking out over the water for an hour now, coaxing each other into talking about things they don't want to talk about. Trying to get to know each other. For Steve's sake, they say, in honour of their old friend. For the mission's sake, so they can work better together, more in sync. Not because they're curious. Not at all.

Bucky considers for a minute. When was the last time he kissed anybody? Were there some with Hydra; ones that he can't remember, didn't want, didn't choose, women that had to be seduced before he could put a bullet through their head. And then there are the ones that don't count, the ones he doesn't want to acknowledge...

"I don't know," he replies eventually. It's complicated. Everything's complicated. How old is he? Mentally? Physically? Legally? He doesn't know. Who is he? He doesn't know.

"Come on," Sam says, in a joking way that shows maybe he doesn't understand the mental gymnastics required to try and work this out. "What, have you never been kissed?"

"Course I have," Bucky mutters in response. "I don't know, it was..." He counts for a minute, remembers some things, forgets others. "Forty-one."

Sam's eyes get wide. "Forty-one years?" He sounds incredulous. He'll sound even more incredulous when he learns the truth.

"Uh, nineteen forty-one."

"You haven't been kissed for eighty-two years?" Sam says, disbelieving. "There are people who don't even live that long."

Bucky shrugs. "I can't help it. Trust me, if I had my way I'd be wrinkled and grey right now. Old. Normal."

Sam smiles weakly, and Bucky can see he's contemplating. Wondering what it must be like. To be so lonely for so long.

"So you really haven't..." Sam starts talking, then stops. Sometimes Bucky forgets he's technically old enough to be Sam's grandfather. It's times like these that he remembers. "Not even late nights in the army?"

Sam's teasing. He means well. He always does.

Bucky sighs; he says nothing but in less than two seconds Sam has picked up on it. Although he might act like it at times - jumping out of planes, not doing things early enough, never moving the seat up - that man is not stupid.

"Alright," he says carefully. "When was the last time you kissed a girl?"

"Nineteen forty-one."

"And the last time you kissed a guy?"

Bucky shuts his eyes, remembers Wakanda, the heat, the deep marron light of the setting sun, the peace, the distant sounds of rushing water and birds. A place of safety and calm and freedom. For a while. "Two thousand-eighteen."

Sam says nothing for a minute. Bucky hates this part. The telling; then, the waiting. Is he judging? Does he hate me? Does he see me any differently? Truth be told, he's never told anyone, but he's considered it a thousand times. Tell Steve. Tell any of the other Hiwling Commandos. Tell Hydra in those brief, flashing moments of clarity - maybe they'd have been so disgusted they wouldn't want him any more.

"And the first time?"

"Nineteen thirty-three."

Sam says nothing again, looking out across landscape before them. The water is gentle, a mirror, a mass of flaming reflection.

"So did -"

"Sam," Bucky interrupts before his friend can even begin. He offers a smile that just feels false to wear. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright."

Then, less than a minute later, "But -"

"Sam."

"Okay."

They're silent for a while.

"I just -"

"Oh my God, Sam," Bucky says. He's not irritated, per se, he just doesn't feel this is something he needs to discuss. "Can you not?"

Sam seems a little bashful. He looks out over the water as if it might start talking to him instead. "I just always thought you were, you know, the ladies' man."

"Well, maybe I'm the ladies' man and the man's man, alright?"

"But what was it like, you know, in the thirties?"

Apparently they're talking about it.

"I don't know, Sam," he replies, and he doesn't. He's lived so long and been told what to forget and what to remember that his memories of the thirties could be memories from two years ago, and his memories from two years ago could be fifty years old. "We didn't talk about it. It wasn't like anything, because it just wasn't acknowledged. And if it was... It was brushed under the carpet. A whisper about the weirdo neighbour. A funny look when you talk about certain people."

"But how did you know?" Sam asks, insistent. Bucky looks at him, confused, trying to ignore the way the light shines on his friend's face. "If no one talked about it, how would you know if you were... Bi, gay, whatever?"

"Well... How do you know you're attracted to someone?"

Sam raises his eyebrows, his mouth curving into a smile. "Well..."

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly. He should have seen that one coming. "Well, you know, I mean... Whatever. But, you know you're attracted to someone, right, whether you ignore it or ashamed of it or not - because you're aware that you feel shame or regret or something, I don't know. It's just..." He shakes his head, trying to find the right way to explain this. How do you explain something that just is? How do you explain that the sky is blue? It just is. How do you explain that you feel nervous? You just are. How do you explain feeling attraction? It just is.

"It's like, the minute you asked yourself, 'do I find guys attractive?' the answer had to be, 'I don't'. And if you had to actively tell yourself that, odds are, you did."

Sam nods, but the expression on his face is distant, contemplative. If he looks out at that water any longer he might just fall into it.

"You know," Sam says finally. "Growing up, in the eighties, there was this, uh, disease -"

"Sam, I lived through the eighties. I probably remember them better than you do."

Sam smiles. "Well, anyways, you hear about this disease on the news, and it was the only time you'd hear about gay people. I asked my mom once, 'what's a gay person?', and she told me, you know, in a sensible way, that it's someone who loves someone like them. For a while, I thought that meant, like, two black people, two white people, not two men or two women. Kinda traumatised me, to be honest," he adds with a sad-sounding laugh. "I thought it meant my parents would get ill, too, and I got so upset about it my mom had to explain what it really meant... I don't know, even for a straight guy, if the only time you hear about gay people is in conjunction with sickness, it scares you a little, because eventually, you think gay, you'll think disease, too."

A straight -? Right, Sam's straight. Bucky has to try and remind himself for a minute. Sam's straight. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter to him.

He nods. They didn't have this disease when he was a kid - or they didn't know about it - but he knows what Sam means. If you only heat about something in a negative context, it becomes negative in your head.

"They thought it was a disease when I was younger," Bucky says. "Just, in itself. A mental one. People tried cures, they weren't -" he looks down at his hands, unsure of whether he wants to think about this, talk about this. "They'd probably kill you. And when the war started, you know, you weren't supposed to enlist if you were having these 'inappropriate feelings and desires'. I was so confused, man," he says, and Sam looks at him because now he's really getting into the conversation, recalling how it was, and it still gets a little exciting when the memories piece themselves together properly. "They had this psychiatric test to see if you were mentally fit enough to join the army. I'd already, you know - what's it they say? - experimented at this point, so when I passed I really didn't know how."

"They say people don't care about it anymore," Sam says, and shakes his head with a bitter smile. "They do. They just aren't allowed to be so loud about it."

They stare out over the water now together, just watching the waves as the sun sinks beyond them, bathing the world in orange and inky blue. Bucky forgot he was supposed to hate this conversation. He forgot he doesn't get on with this man.

"If you could go back and tell them," Sam says, when the world has finally submerged itself into nighttime, and they really need to be getting back. "Your mom and your dad and your sisters. Would you?"

Bucky thinks for a minute. There's so much he wishes he could tell all the people he left behind.

"I'd tell them everything. All the little things and the big things. You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more."

-----

That night, Sam sits awake in his room. It's late - it's been late for hours - and everything is shrouded in shadow and the faintly distorted shapes of the night.

He can't get the conversation with Barnes out of his head.

You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more.

What would Sam say? What does he have to say? Who would he say it to? No one. Nothing. It's nothing. But how much of a nothing is it if you've been thinking on it for thirty years?

It isn't like his family should be going anywhere any time soon. They're all healthy, live safe lives, none of them are ridiculously old. But in his line of work... Any day could be his last. A well-placed bullet, a neatly-thrown knife, a bomb, malfunction in the suit, that's it, Sam Wilson no more. And he's told nothing to his Mom or his Dad or his sister, people who he loves more than anything in the world.

He should do it. He should call one of them. Now? He checks the time. It's nearly twelve, but his mom stays up late. Worrying about her boy, she says.

In the darkness, the blue light from his phone is as bright as a blanket of snow. Blinding. Disorientating.

He dials her number, and she, as always, picks up immediately.

"Honey, how are you?"

His mom sounds worried. She sounds worried every time he calls. This is it, she thinks, he knows she does, this is the time when it's not Sammy, it's one of his super friends, delivering the bad news that someone's finally done it. They've got the Falcon. It's the end of her beloved son.

"I'm good," Sam says with an uneven sigh, preparing himself. "I just have something I need to tell you."

[vidavalor]

Can we talk about how Sam is as useless at this as Bucky is, really, and it’s massively sweet?

Yeah, I’m writing about Sam because we all love us some brainwashed, century-old assassin endless array of hurt/comfort here but this idea that Sam, because he’s a therapist and not always a crying, nightmare-sweat-drenched mess, is Captain Got It All Together is not truth... because this poor broken-hearted kitten absolutely does not and it makes him so much more of a better-realized, fuller character... 

I’m not trying to wade any ship wars here or any fandom strife over the Bucky slant to fic/sometimes erasure of Sam here... I love both of these characters equally and ship them but my point here is that I think that because Bucky’s trauma is more well-documented and, for lack of a better word, “flashier”, that some people might think Sam looks perfectly well-adjusted. By comparison, he probably is but this other, quieter story happening with Sam is necessary reading here if you’ve been sleeping on the complexities of one Sam Wilson that aren’t the ones the show is focusing on more explicitly relating to his lived experience as a Black man in America. (They’re not completely separate either but not only this part of his life.) What do I mean, exactly? 

Been wondering how these two are falling in love but can mainly just get it from Bucky’s POV because Sam is awesome and Bucky is sad and need love? Not sure what Sam is getting out of his relationship with Bucky? Not totally sure you ship it but leaning that way? Yeah, pull up a seat because this thing I wrote after Ep 5 here (so spoilers through that) is basically an old-school ship manifesto at this point but comes at SamBucky/WinterFalcon from Sam’s side, rather than Bucky’s. (I have nothing *against* Bucky. I just think you’re missing half the goodness of this show and half the surprisingly tender romance of all of this if you are not focusing on Sam as much as Bucky.) If this interests you, then read on, being forewarned that it’s a little long...

So... Sam Wilson is a sweet, kind, warm-hearted, empathetic, drop-dead gorgeous superhero soldier flying military veteran therapist... whom the canon suggests is Bucky Barnes-level obsessed with his dead former partner (in some sense of the word), Riley. You thought it was just Bucky with the angsty past love? Oh no... oh, no no no....

Consider that Sam’s been back in Delacroix twice now in TFATWS and not once has his sister-- who adores him and who knows everyone in town-- suggested that she call up any one of the at least ten decent single people she has to know who live in the area to take her f*cking *dreamboat* of a brother out. Forget the show putting Sam in like twelve pieces of canon and not throwing a single human (not named Bucky) at him and what that implies-- we all know that Sarah wouldn’t care what kind of human her brother was attracted to and yet she and the entire community of Delacroix can’t seem to find this guy a date. He’s sweet and hot and an Avenger but our Sam’s a monk, you guys... More to the point... they don’t even try. They know better than to try anymore... which says a lot.

Going back awhile now, when Sam met Steve, he was still this equally dreamy and he didn’t even have any Avengers-related problems getting in the way of his potential dating life. He had a normal job working for the VA in DC. Yet, he clearly was seeing exactly no one and while I am willing to admit that pretty much any human would drop everything and follow Steve Rogers around the world, it’s clear that Sam wasn’t seeing anyone at the time because his life was able to be dropped in a second and he also had that file with Riley’s photo at the ready, man. At. the. ready... 

He responded to the opportunity to follow Steve with no less need when it came to his own post-trauma-of-war identity as Bucky does. This isn’t to say that Sam is *as* lost as Bucky because it would be hard to out-do the once-brainwashed assassin who has been alive for a hundred years but Sam saw all sorts of hell. He’s a therapist for veterans because he’s had to get beyond *his own* PTSD and he’s really aware of how that is a journey that doesn’t exactly ever end. It gets significantly better and he knows how well it can-- that’s why he can tell Bucky that there is hope of that-- but it is very clear that Sam Wilson is still suffering his own kind of PTSD and his own grief for the death of a guy who likely couldn’t love him the way he needed him to. 

I know we don’t know a ton about exactly what Sam and Riley were but I think there is enough to infer that they probably actually weren’t a couple. For one thing, Sarah never mentions him and even if the show wanted to be vague about things, they could phrase it like “it’s been forever since you brought back someone to the house, haven’t met any of them since Riley” or something. There are ways to infer that they were a thing and the nature of it, if the show wanted to do that but all they have suggested so far is that Sam was in love with Riley. We know he and Riley were friends and worked on the Falcon suit project together but what we are getting out of what they are giving to us is that Sam loved him but it’s not clear that they were even a couple. I’d even say the picture of them that he shows Steve and Natasha is supposed to evoke that they weren’t a couple-- it’s of Sam looking at Riley, smiling like he’s the moon and the stars, while Riley is smiling but just a bit and he’s looking at the camera, not at Sam. 

In other words, remember Miller’s analogies from school? Sam is to Riley as Bucky is to Steve. I just offended every person reading this who thinks that Steve and Bucky weren’t an unrequited thing *ducks* but I feel like we’re supposed to take from what they give us that Sam knows a little something about being mad for a guy who thinks you are his best buddy but doesn’t look at you in a romantic or sexual way and you feel like you’re dying over it. Sam gets Bucky because Sam *is* Bucky when it comes to this. 

If Sam and Riley were just the best of friends, Sam still would have mourned him greatly but it would not necessarily have impacted his love life the way it seems like it might have. I’m not necessarily saying there was no one but this is a man who even when it felt like Steve Rogers-- whom Sam obviously found attractive-- seemed like he was making Sam question whether or not he was coming onto him or just super-nice and making a new fellow veteran friend... even when that was happening, Sam’s response was that he didn’t hate it or anything and he was willing to help Steve with what he needed in this friendly, advice-giving sort of way and maybe they had a thing, who knows, but it was clear that Sam-- a guy who has to be hit on *all the time*-- wasn’t really used to the idea of there being someone in his life. So, he wasn’t letting anyone into his life. He would have had the chance, no doubt. He was choosing not to. Why would you choose not to? If you were grieving the loss of a man you couldn’t get over and you thought that you weren’t ever going to love anyone like that and maybe having someone wasn’t going to happen for you.

Like, imagine Sam’s surprise when The Winter Soldier turns up, nearly kills them all, disappears and they go on the run and he starts hearing Steve’s confessional stories about the guy who was his best friend and in love with him and Steve has literally never said those words aloud because they’re from the *1940s* and he’s felt guilty all this time for hurting him. Steve’s the kind of guy who would feel guilty for not being in love with someone who was in love with him. That’s when Sam, who thought he had more in common with Steve, realizes he’s actually *Bucky Barnes* in this story. He’s the damn Winter Soldier in the Steve-and-Bucky version of him and Riley. 

That is how Bucky evolves from “the kind of guy you have to stop” in Sam’s mind to the guy he’s hanging out with in every fight and snarking over the car seats with. He’s like yeesh, I thought I had a few years of this ungodly pain and that was bad... this poor bastard’s been in love with a Riley who could and probably will live until he’s a hundred and thirty. Sam starts getting into this whole antagonist origin story of The Winter Soldier here because he realizes that one wrong move-- one case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time-- and he could have been captured during the war he was in. He could have been tortured like that, so easily, and he knows what it’s like to be tortured by love in that way. 

Bucky, for his part, when he begins to get his mind back and more fully remember Steve and his past, takes one look at Sam and is thinking like... that poor SOB... oh, look, it’s 21st Century Me. So, you fell for Steve Rogers, huh? Welcome to the club. We meet every Tuesday at two to discuss being the pining best friend in love with a guy who, in all likelihood, is attracted to both of us but unless Tony Stark can shake loose a bit of the freak in The Star-Spangled Man With a Plan, we’re not getting anything but a most earnest and sincere friendship out of this (and if Stark can’t, no one can....)

Like, Bucky’s Steve love is pretty pure. He wants him to be happy. He’s hurt that Steve doesn’t love him the way he loves Steve but he does love him as his best friend as well and wants him to have what he wants out of life. If that’s going back in time to Peggy Carter (who wouldn’t, really?) and leaving him behind then, fine. He wishes he were still here but he’ll deal but he’s going to be keeping an eye out for the other guy left behind-- Steve’s new modern era best friend person. Bucky’s so gone over keeping Steve safe that he can’t even resent Sam’s presence-- he’s thrilled he exists. Someone good to look after Steve when Bucky couldn’t! Sam Wilson is heaven sent and must be protected at all costs! So frequently from some kid with webbed fingers, apparently! 

Sam, meanwhile, is challenged by the dilemma that Bucky appears to think that they’re in the same boat while Sam, who for sure had a little crush on Steve as who doesn’t, has really come to realize that he is far, far more into the tragic one here. He’s so irritated about it. It would be simpler if he just fell for another blond soldier with red, white and blue blood who couldn’t love him. At least he’d just be completely hopeless then but the brainwashed one? The one that thinks he’s horrid but is so good that he can’t even bring himself to be that jealous of Sam when he clearly thinks Sam is sleeping with the guy he’s loved for years? 

Oh, Sam’s gone on that one... 

Bucky’s still a mess then so it’s harmless enough to just pretend he’s not writing himself into touch-starved Bucky fanfic in his own mind here but when Bucky keeps saving him in different fights? When he catches him looking once or twice. When the bickering is really flirting and Sam knows he means it that way, too? When the poor guy just gets his mind back, they all reunite and go to one battle and then the two of them disappear and miss *five years* of their lives? When then, soon after, Steve is gone, too? 

When it begins to feel like *they* are now the story and meant to go through the rest of these things together? I mean, when everyone else is all on about the fate and destiny of it all-- Stark’s big sacrifice being the one way to save everyone, Doctor Strange going on about all the possibilities of the universe on a saving the world level but it so personal to the people Sam and Bucky know, Steve choosing to go back in time because he can and be with the woman he loved and never got to have... 

...standing there in the funerals and aftermaths of all of this together, by virtue of being Steve’s Friends Who Aren’t Really Part of This Gang Exactly... are Sam and Bucky. What are the odds that they are supposed to be the rest of one another’s story? Sam was wondering it. He for sure hadn’t felt like this since Riley... he might not have really ever felt it at all before. 

Can we just admit that while there’s been some guys in the past-- and it could be rephrased as ‘some people’, as while Sam is written to suggest he’s at least into men, he could be into people who don’t identify as men as well-- but there’s not been someone who has been able to love him the way he’s loved them. 

He’s from the South and Black and the show taps into the racism he’s been through as a result. Not obviously in Delacroix, where he feels safe and seen, where people care about him and don’t care that he is not straight, but in other parts. He’s been in the military, where homophobia is still pretty rampant and it’s a culture of a lot of heterosexual machismo. (Hell, the show even has a kind of walking, talking example of a guy everyone knows was the epitome of that kind of culture, even if he’s been broken by that world, too-- John Walker.) It’s not even really clear if Sam is out and, if he is, to whom. He seems to be the kind of person to want to be himself as much as possible and Sarah likely knows because they are close but I’m not so sure that a lot of Sam’s military buddies actually did. He really strikes me as the guy who gets along with everybody and whom everybody loves-- but whom few people actually *know* because he keeps himself (all of himself, not just his sexuality) private from others...

...which is also a hell of a lot like one Bucky Barnes. 

Guaranteed they became such fast friends not just from being sort of left with one another in the aftermath of Steve and their attraction but because Sam was amazed to find that Bucky was actually pretty funny and Sam just kept talking to him because while he has-- or had, anyways, before he ran off with Steve-- a ton of people he’d consider friends, he doesn’t really have anyone he’d consider to be a close friend and hasn’t since Riley. Bucky, just still stunned to be free of mind control and that there was another human being talking to him instead of looking at him as a weapon to program to kill, was eager to listen to and absolutely thrilled when he could find something sarcastic to say to make Sam laugh that surprised laugh and light up. 

These two damaged couple of guys spent most of this show and the months before it just terrified by how much love they were feeling for one another and were very happy to let any conflict they could get in the way of it-- any excuse to claim they weren’t feeling totally seen and run for the hills back into their own trauma.

It’s not just Bucky doing this. He might have been the one not returning the texts at the start, the one who seemed to be withdrawing more, while Sam was texting him still to check in on him but how quickly that began to flip around by Episode 5. 

Suddenly, the brave one is Bucky. It was Sam for the first few episodes-- he was stil trying and so hard, despite not getting what he needed in return and Bucky still sending signals that he wanted him but was happy to still revel in being too damaged and scared to try harder. By Episode 5, though? Bucky’s not only learned to trust himself again, it is proven to be what he was afraid of: not being able to protect and love Sam the way he wanted to and that Sam would leave him. Triggered by the shield as a metaphor for not caring about Bucky, not having a reason to still pursue him, Bucky thought he had successfully pushed Sam away and that Sam would really stop texting because to not do so would be to admit to one another that they wanted to be around one another and this wasn’t just about Steve/Captain America. By Episode 5, Bucky shows up in Delacroix not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but with eyes only for Sam and is every one of Sam’s favorite Bucky Barnes fantasies come to life. 

It’s now Sam flipping out. Would you have expected the Sam of the first two episodes to be a babbling mess in the face of a flirty Bucky stretching and claiming it’s time for him to go get a hotel room? To try to be playing it cool but winding up asking him to stay forever and telling him he likes his tight t-shirts in the middle there? To get so nervous that he suddenly is babbling about six toes and flirting with Sarah, showing how jealous he was of Bucky just... smiling and being this guy Steve had said was under there but that Sam had only had small glimpses of so far? If he was gone for the broken Winter Soldier... he’s wrecked by a single smile from this Bucky. 

This is the same guy who spent the first few episodes confident to a point of near-cockiness, loving flirting with and teasing Bucky, the one that seemed more well-adjusted and in control of himself. Overall, he is but there’s something there when Bucky shows up and White Wolfs Sam into a sputtering mess who is sending him little glances, as if they’ve switched bodies from the first few episodes. It shows *just how much* Sam is comfortable with Bucky and how rare it is for him because he would react differently to Bucky’s more overt flirting of Episode 5 if how he is with Bucky was his default in life. Instead, we see that some of it is posturing-- it’s the Sam equivalent of lifting heavy things and using power tools. His is the humor (what’s a better aphrodisiac than making the Winter Soldier laugh or flirt back or blush?) and the bicker-caring. We even see where it comes from, in a way. Sam is a soldier-- he knows how to help other traumatized soldiers and when we saw him in his VA group session when we met him, we saw him using that kind of machismo world and its language to communicate with the soldiers in the group. The difference for him with them versus him with Bucky is that he’s also flirting with Bucky. The buddy cop thing is intentional-- it’s Sam’s strategy, it’s been Bucky’s choice to respond to it and they’re playacting it as how they talk because it’s been easier than admitting that they are completely gone on another and just want all the soft things. 

Up until recently anyway and now Sam’s reeling from a man he’s fallen in love with showing up and loving him back. Don’t think for a second that Bucky doesn’t know enough by now to know that it’d totally undo Sam but the surprise of it to the audience only really exists if you don’t think Sam and Bucky have anything in common besides their now-gone mutual friend. In reality, they’re endgame. 

[the-magic-lava-lamp]

Harvest Moon

Summary: {A light sequel to: Unforgettable}  They laughed, sort of sadly. The full night sky enriched them with gentle peace, strengthened by the soft light of the stars. The temperature dropped considerably since Sam had initially come out. But he didn’t mind the nice chill, it braced his skin and left him with tingling goosebumps. It reminded Sam how real the moment actually was. Paying less attention to the hearty sloshes of water, Sam picked up his radio.

Ships: SamBucky 

Word Count: 5,285

The light from the orange sunset flushed Sam Wilson’s cheeks, encouraging the spread of an internally hot blush. Color blossomed under his soft complexion with all the grace of the water rings rippling under the rocks skipping on the lake. Though the sweat was just beginning to puddle in his palms and drip down his temple, Sam was only focused on the fevered senses of comfort which had been deep-rooted in his chest since arriving back home. 

The babbling waters had called him out to the docks just the same as they did when he was small. And following that nostalgia, Sam felt the ghost of supper on the stove. Turns out his fucked up Avengers mind could still remind himself to be home before the porcelain plates hit the table. No longer his Mama--but Sarah who would be annoyed with him and that was perhaps more threatening. He thought as his tiny radio played on. 

AJ and Cass had fallen asleep with the gentle nudge of a fuzzy re-run of ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’ and the promise of a hot meal when they awoke. Sam’s absence would be noticed very soon.

‘Sittin' in the mornin' sun

I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes

Watching the ships roll in

Then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay

Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh

I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay

Wastin' time…’

He swiped salty sweat from his brow and found himself dwelling on the evening, wanting to change the direction of the souring sun. No matter what, Sam always began to mourn the day at around 5 p.m. Everyday could’ve been better. The threat of night’s permanent closure and the bearer of nightmares fermented him with anxiety. He was working on that issue with his therapist. 

‘Now I'm just gon' sit, at the dock of the bay

Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh yeah

Sittin' on the dock of the bay

Wastin' time…’

Otis began the famed whistling as Sam leaned back on his hands, palms flat on the warm dock. He felt the movement just before a voice began whistling along behind him. It chirped delicately in Sam’s ear, until the song faded and with it--

Sam turned--Bucky Barnes sing-along.

Bucky grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Nice to see you so…” He craned his neck and squinted his eyes. “Lazy.” Even he looked a bit confused by the word choice. 

“Thanks…” Sam chuckled. 

“I just mean--” Buck paused, scratching down from his chin to his neck. Sam saw that he did that often enough to earn patches of grainy red skin under his facial hair. 

Sam smirked, pulling his left thigh up and around from the edge. His eyes simmered Bucky’s blush. 

“Have you ever had the time to laze around?” Bucky asked, amazed at his own wondering. “To sit and watch the sun on the water?” He gestured frantically outward. “You’ve been a busy guy...not that I helped you with that any…”

Sam shook his head. “Nah, man. Tracking your ass for Steve reaped some rewards.” He gestured for the man to rest his old bones down next to him and Bucky hesitantly took the offer. His knees cracked with sharp pops all the way down. 

“No old man jokes, I swear-” 

Sam held up his hands. “I wasn’t planning on it, Bucky.” He glanced at Steve’s old friend and for a moment, couldn’t believe the man of history books and horror stories was ‘sun-setting’ in Sam’s home-town. The orange light caressed his face in the same eerie way it’d done way back at Tony’s funeral.

“Thanks for letting me stay-” Bucky went to rub his chin again. “Not quite separate vacations but…” He chuckled, fading off. It was subconscious, the way Bucky led in with no follow through. He wanted Sam to be the one to initiate the conversation. 

But Sam bit his tongue. He deserved to hear what Bucky had to say without having to pull it out himself. 

Bucky turned with those doe eyes, tired but with enough energy left to admire his partner. “I hurt you....” He frowned, bitter with himself. “I know that and I’m damn sorry, Sam.” His voice was crisp and steady but his eyes wavered. 

Sam sighed, eyes back on the water. “We were getting somewhere, man. And you just…” He flicked his hand out. “Disappeared on me.” He paused. 

“I shouldn’t have left you...especially at such an ambiguous time for us.” Bucky stumbled slightly on his words. 

Sam took a long blink, remembering the ‘unforgettable’  feeling of being held again. “I’m more hurt by the fact that I got nothing but radio silence from you-” He swallowed. “Past that-” He glanced at Bucky “Thing we had just started. I thought we’d reached a point where we could communicate.” He shrugged with muted emotion. “We were friends.” He added with a slight question in his voice. He watched Bucky’s eyes flicker with guilt.

“If you had given me a heads up, maybe. That’s all.” Sam patted his thigh. “I can understand needing space. I understand that even answering texts can be difficult as hell when your mind feels sick. I’ve been there, Buck. Shit’s hard.” He felt a dark twist in his stomach and tried not to dwell in his own memories. “I don’t hold this against you. I know you’re a good guy.” Sam made sure Bucky looked him in the eye for that particular sentiment. “But you should know how I felt about it. Whatever relationship we end up having; Friends, co-workers, partners-” He flicked his fingers. “I’d hope you’d think about how your decisions affect me.” 

They held the next silence for a few minutes, Bucky seemingly taking in what he’d said. “For me, it was like I blinked and you were gone with the wind. I didn’t know how you were doing for months--if you were even okay. But then, out of the blue, you come back and you’re pissed about something that wasn’t about you.” Sam shrugged, feeling a bit lighter for every word he’d been simmering on for weeks. 

Bucky grimaced, looking extremely pained. “I’m really sorry, Sam.” He repeated himself with genuine regret. The light around them bled darker. “I let a lot of my intrusive thoughts control me.” He hissed at his own words but quickly moved on. “Part of me let it happen because I’m not sure I could handle a competent hand on the wheel. I’ve lived as the...Winter Soldier longer than Bucky, you know-? And Holy shit that’s something I try not to perceive.” He turned, hoping he wasn’t over-sharing. “It’s terrifying to think it’s just in my nature...being destructive. I’m always nervous-” He paused again. “Not that I’m going to hurt someone--but the feeling that I need to will bleed back into me…” His voice faded off again as he picked at a loose string on his jeans. 

“This is something you’re talking about in therapy, right?” Sam quirked his brow, needing the answer to be yes but the distant pain in his head reminded him that he dodged plenty of shit from his therapist. 

Bucky nodded and before Sam could speak again, asked the question he’d been aching to for months. “I want to go back to you-”

“Of course you do.” Sam chuckled. 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “How have you been, really?” 

Sam thought for a minute. “Working myself to death, mostly.” He laughed, though it didn’t sound happy at all. “Been seeing Sarah and the boys as much as I can…” 

The sky purpled, darkness bleeding into the orange hues. The stars would soon be visible and Bucky was almost positive Sam would now push the question off, neglecting the details. For as much as he complains that Bucky doesn’t talk about himself enough, Sam often avoids voicing his own feelings. 

“Sarah was swamped and anxious, despite what she says-” 

“And what were you feeling, Samuel?” Bucky playfully tapped his friend’s knee with a smug grin. 

Sam rolled his eyes but grinned slightly at the familiar teasing. He wasn’t sure how to put his thoughts into words so he turned back to the water. “Thought a lot about the soul stone, actually.” The sentence rolled casually off his tongue but did nothing to relieve the stress it’d been causing him. 

Bucky tried to remain stoic but a glint of concern shined over his eyes. The infinity stone felt somehow personal between them. Though nobody had memories of their time dusted, Sam and Bucky came out with a new sense of intimacy for each other. It was as if something happened in those 5 years, which felt like only a brief nap to them and in that blip, they’d connected. Falling together was comfortingly natural after that. 

“My last thought before I...dusted, was ‘Maybe I’ll get to see Riley.’ ” Sam whizzed his palm in the air, voice breaking slightly and definitely against his will. 

Bucky’s heart twitched. They’d gone dancing in the evening after Tony Stark’s funeral. It was the most blissful Bucky’d ever been and he’d spent the night in Sam’s hotel room doing the most talking he’d ever spoken. Nothing physical happened nor did either man think of it, they were too busy soaking up all the information they could get from the other before the night ended. They could truly get to know each other for the first time. 

Bucky went on about his family, as much as he could remember anyway. Sam talked of his parents; Paul and Darlene and eventually trailed his way to Riley. 

Sam halted his next thought for a few minutes because it was damn hard to illustrate. “I know we weren’t actually dead-” He rolled his lips together “Or maybe we were, still not clear on all that.” He sighed into another little laugh. “But I just want a few more minutes with him...you know?” 

Bucky nodded, giving him a ‘go on’ expression. 

“I guess our souls were floating around in the stone but--” He broke off, looking down at the water. “For five years, Both our names were on gravestones and in all that time, I couldn’t just see or feel him one time?” Fists now clenched into tight fists. His body language was horrifyingly angry, contrasting the deep despair that was the expression on his face. He was almost sure that none of his words made sense, they’d been jumbling around in him for months like a virus and to be regurgitated so suddenly felt...messy. 

The radio, which Sam had long forgotten about, continued to roll-out soft volume static above glimpses of songs. “Fuck, Sam--” Bucky squinted towards the sky, taking in the brief glance into Sam’s head. “I know exactly what you mean…” He turned quickly, admiring Sam’s presence as his adoration for the man thumped like the heart-beat in his chest. “I always figured I’d never get that peace with my family...but I always assumed it’d be for some iteration of Hell.” He rubbed his palm against his neck and laughed. 

Sam elbowed him lightly, forcing Bucky to find his words again. 

“Knowing--through you and how I feel about you--” Bucky gestured between them. “That I had a mellow...impermanent afterlife(?) yet still didn’t get to see my family...well it feels like I was cheated.” He shrugged.

“I don’t think your soul’s going anywhere bad, Buck. Don’t know what happens after we’re gone for good but you’re not ditching me again.” He drifted off, feeling a sudden unbearable disappointment. “Nat’ll be there too.” 

Bucky took in a breath, enjoying the tickling static of Sam’s hand. “Riley too, don’t worry about that, ok?” He tapped Sam’s hand. “I think, when we go back into the weeds and the dirt--”

“That’s a tender way of putting it, Bucky.” Sam blinked, trying not to put himself in an internal coffin because he was significantly chilled now. 

Bucky smiled. “I think we get the peace of nothing. Just a return to nature with the souls of those we loved.” He rubbed his finger into the corner of his eye like a grandpa and sighed. “I’ve seen and experienced a lot of the Heaven/Hell folklore in my life and I’m not crazy about it, Sam” He wagged his finger and Sam pushed him slightly with a nice feeling of content. 

“We can only comfort ourselves, nothing greater will do it for us. So we write ourselves a multitude of fiction that may, or may not, ease us into accepting death.” Sam bumped their elbows together and eyed a distant bird as it darted across and just above the water. 

“I’m glad whatever it was that happened between us in that stone, happened.” Bucky added sheepishly. Turning to look at his partner under the increasingly vivid stars, Bucky hiccupped as a huge wave of affection hit him. “Cause I really like you, Sam.” 

"But don't discredit yourself. It wasn't just the stone that magically brought us together--" Bucky lightly pushed Sam's bicep. "I-...I can't begin to explain how much it means to me that you made an effort to be my friend...even during the last few months of me ghosting you and not listening to you about the shield. You didn't have to do that." 

Somewhere supper was threatening to get cold and Sarah was playing their meals with a concerned frown, Sam just knew that sister of his too well. He hoped to scrap together just a bit more time. "What can I say?" He smiled "I like you too. People need people, Buck. I wasn't gonna sit back and let you cut yourself off." 

Bucky laid back on the dock, laying his palm flat to his chest. He repeated the phrase over and over in his head. 'People need people.' "Goes both ways, you know Sam?" He spoke with deep confidence but continued to laze on the dock, trying to find an angle where the sun was blocked and he could stare up at Sam. “Meaning, I hope you’ve been letting Sarah help you out...and seeing your therapist.”  

Sam gently smacked his hand atop Bucky’s like a comforting beat of thunder. “Giving my best effort.” He nodded thoughtfully. 

Bucky fluttered his eyes with the pace of his heart. “This is the first time I’ve seen you so...still, Wilson.” 

Sam tossed his head back and laughed, knowing Bucky had hit the nail on the head with that one. The back of his neck cooled as he watched the slates of wood under them pale. The glimmers of tired orange light died and vapid pastel-white tones took their place, nestled in the cracks. Part of him wanted to disagree though he hadn’t the spirit. “I don’t like relaxing because it gives me too much time inside myself.” 

Bucky nodded, encouraging Sam to go on. Fearing the man would never pick it up again if he suddenly decided to close himself off again. 

“There’s too much to do...I feel like I don’t deserve it.” Sam shrugged, a clear illustration of his frustration. He’d definitely pulled this thread a few million times in his life. 

“Don’t deserve it?” Bucky sat up just a little, resting on his forearms, he slanted his head as if the adoring smile was just too heavy. “C’mon Doll--” He cut himself off a bit too late. 

“Slipping back into old habits, huh?” Sam rolled his eyes but waved a dismissive hand. “You’re cute.” He teased, shoving the guy gently. 

Bucky played along, pretending Sam had used enough of that strength of his to knock him back onto the dock. “I think now is a great time for a few days off Sam.” 

The man hummed, thinking about the public...what they expected of their new ‘Captain America’ and what the flicker of the new spot-light in his favor revealed about those who loved Steve for all the wrong reasons. Knowing, as a black man, he’d have to go above and beyond all those assumptions just to garner the same amount of respect they gave Steve. The anger he felt from that was righteous but god forbid he show any sense of hurt because then he’d just be labeled ‘ungrateful’ and ‘giving people grief’. He rubbed under his eye with a longing sigh. “I can’t really afford that right now, Buck.” 

His body shivered as he tried to push away the intrusive images; Walker slamming into the man over and over without hesitation, thick puddles of blood covering his shield, carrying Karli’s lifeless body over an audience where half of the people celebrated her death...perceiving and exploiting her as another ‘super-villain’. 

“Hey.” Bucky softly sat up and pulled Sam’s elbow until their eyes met. “I’ve been told I’m a great listener.” He didn’t pull away, instead hesitantly he curled his hand around Sam’s arm. His fingers pressed dimples into Sam’s skin. Bucky nestled there and his friend exhaled a little, unclenching his body. 

“It’s daunting.” He nodded to himself before tipping his chin to face Bucky. “A bucket doesn’t hold a tidal wave but that’s all I got.” He shrugged, noticing Bucky’s quirked brow. “Something my dad used to say...meaning there’s too much to say so I gotta give you a shitty summary, you know?” He shook his head. 

“I know I’m one to talk but try using more words...buzz-words if you have to.” Bucky looked momentarily proud of his modern vocabulary and squeezed Sam’s arm tighter. 

Sam chuckled. “Let’s say...nerve-wrecking.” He added, bumping his elbow into Bucky’s side. “With all that’s happened...I’m worried--” He landed on a word he felt comfortable with. “Being Captain America...it’s heavy on my shoulders, man. I know I can do it, I trust myself when it comes down to the wire. I hold myself to my standards.” He trailed off again, listening to distant sounds of kids skipping rocks across the water. “I know where this job’s going to take me and I’m ok with that, glad to do it.” He looked back at Bucky with determined eyes. 

“I’m not concerned with my fate.” Another deep breath racked his body, he wasn’t used to being so utterly serious with his current company. “I think about how it ended for Tony and I worry about the kid--” 

Bucky nodded, He’d only briefly been aware of Stark’s ‘surrogate’ son and spoke a handful of words to him at the funeral, Sam and Wanda at his side. 

Sam rubbed his neck with his free hand, feeling intense pressure all over his body. All his limbs tingled as if they were asleep. He’d not realized the true extent of how much this had been eating away at him. Speaking of eating, dinner was for sure cold by now…“Met his Aunt at the funeral.” She’d been proud of her boy but behind her eyes lived guttural fear, Sam knew that much. “I’m thinking about Rhodey because I sure as hell know the pain of losing your best friend.” 

Bucky tightened his grip on Sam even further. He’d lost Steve so many times but the time had come for the permanent end and by then...well had they even felt like best friends anymore? 

“I can’t even figure out what’s going on with Wanda.” Sam clicked his tongue with a bitter chuckle. “Girl’s doing her best to stay off the grid and I can’t imagine that’s good for her. I know Torres can handle himself but I wonder if I should be helping him more. Not to mention Bruce. What the hell is his mental state right now?” He added with a confused wave of his hand. “I’m even worrying about Scott!” Sam rubbed at his eyebrow and sighed. “This is all beside Sarah and the kids, who I’m constantly thinking about.” He laughed, voice strained and tired. 

Bucky waited a few seconds, just to make sure Sam had finished. In that short moment, his heart swelled for him. “You’re a good person, Sam. But you’re only one man.” He shook him just a little bit. “Truthfully, You’ll always be concerned for them. It’s just in your nature. Don’t fight the intrusive thoughts...accept their presence and remember you’ve got a team.” Bucky trailed off, going over what he’d just said again in his head. 

Sam’s shoulders sank with another deep sigh. “Thanks, Buck.” He swiped his hand down his face and noticed how much lighter he felt. 

Bucky responded physically. He tugged Sam down with him as he laid back on the dock, shoulders bumping together harmoniously which sent chills through Bucky’s entire body. The good kind...maybe the amazing kind. Hell, they tingled under his skin just about every moment he spent with Sam. That deeply buried fear that he might spend the rest of his life making himself excruciatingly uncomfortable in his own body, trapped under his skin which was always crawling,  faded from the realm of possibility each time Sam’s presence flushed Bucky with comfortable jitters. 

“You’re getting good taste, by the way-”

Bucky only squinted at him, still half in deep thought. So Sam started Otis’s whistling again and watched his friend realize what he was talking about. His nose scrunched up while he nodded. 

“How do you decide what to listen to?” Sam turned, they were nearly nose-to-nose. “I mean, how do you narrow it down when you’ve got decades to catch up on?” Sam’s mind flickered through artists like a jukebox--which was 1 thing he’d always wanted to buy, a real old school one. 

Bucky shifted his jaw, making an eerie click, a precursor to his amused grin. “I made a list of artists I remember liking before…” He waved his hand, turning slightly to watch the dewey clouds cover the moon. “And the periods in-and-out of being frozen...I have a list of what I remember by decade-” He chuckled. 

Sam sat up on his forearms. “I’d like to see these lists. The record set-up in Sarah’s living room is not a decoration, you know? It’s almost as great as mine back in D.C.” He grinned, thinking about the days, so far gone now. Mama and Sarah dancing around the kitchen. 

“It really faded off during the 80’s.” Bucky pushed up to level himself next to Sam. “And not that I’ve had much time, mind you--” he laughed. “But from there, I just follow what I’m fond of like family trees and consider the few recommendations I’ve collected.” He trailed off, starting to do the Otis whistle again. 

Sam let him follow through to the end, anticipating the tender connotations of the song to come after this day ended. “Out of all these decades...who are your favorite artists? Just curious.” Sam grinned. The answer to this question spoke loudly about a person, in his opinion. 

Bucky looked thoughtfully content with the question, grin cocking a bit to the right as he held out his fist above him. “I’d have to say...Ella-” He flicked out a thumb, no last name necessary. Sam knew that woman like the back of his hand. 

“Nat King Cole-” Bucky softened his eyes, searching again for that unforgettable memory in Sam, and smiling when the expression was reciprocated in his eyes which shimmered like sunlight through the trees. “Roy Orbison.” Two more metal fingers curled down. “John Denver and Billy Joel.” He let his hand fall back to his chest, satisfied for only a few seconds. “But I really love Judy Garland too.” 

“So you like the mellow ballads--” He hummed. “Slow and kinda sad, huh?” Sam bumped his arm lightly. It made good sense to him. Bucky enjoyed the peace which came effortlessly from lone singer-songwriters. His five--or rather six--showed a natural progression. 

“What about you?” Bucky asked, in a calm tone of voice though his eyes read eager. 

“Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, The Drifters…” Sam paused, really thinking over his picks. “Earth Wind and Fire, Linda Ronstadt and since you got a bonus...Billie Holiday.” Sam rested his palm flat on his chest, content to feel the steady beating that let him know he was still alive. A rich sense of comfort rushed over him as if a fresh load of laundry had just been dropped on his still body. There’d been too many days in his life where that buried thumping was only a reminder of non-stop existence, like a neverending rollercoaster. Installing him with dread, guilt and panic. He was glad to find those days fewer and farther between. 

“You make me feel like I’m livin’ in a Drifters song, Doll.” Bucky was only half teasing, for he was speaking a genuine thought but wasn’t sure how welcome it’d be.

“I like that one.” Sam hummed, turning his cheek once more toward the man beside him. “Tell me how you really feel.” He hiked himself up fully to return to his seated position, legs dangling over the side and casting faint shadows of foot-steps on the water. 

Bucky paused with concern, not sure he understood the reply before he processed it fully. He wanted to smirk but the sentiment out-weighed the amusement. He sat up too, pulling one knee up to rest an arm over while the other dangled next to Sam’s. “I got it bad, Sam.” He made their wandering eyes meet. 

“Me too.” Sam nodded with that dazzling grin. “You’re under my skin, what can I say?” He shook his head and tried to let his smile fade, finding he couldn’t. 

“If they weren’t gone...I’d be buggin’ you to meet my family.” Bucky ignored the twist in his gut because Sam’s reactions were his comfort. “Though who’s to say how they’d feel about the….” He trailed off and Sam nodded. “You being a fella part of it--”

“A fella of color, too.” Sam added with a bit of a smirk. 

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed quietly and playfully tugged Sam’s hand. They curled their fingers together in an exquisitely natural way. “They loved me…” His face stilled with longing. “I’d like to think--But maybe it’s best not to go down that road. I don’t believe I turned out how they’d wanted anyway.” He chuckled, pitfully. 

Sam tightened their grip on each other for a minute. “I know what you mean.” He bumped their folded hands onto Bucky’s thigh. “I’m always wondering what my parents would think of all this…” He flicked his free hand. “My career?” He almost wanted to laugh with astonished pride. Never had he expected to grow up to be a superhero. “Riley too.” He felt there was more to say but his mouth fell shut. 

“Just a way to hurt ourselves, I guess.” Bucky shrugged. “And we sure as Hell love to do that.” 

They laughed, sort of sadly. The full night sky enriched them with gentle peace, strengthened by the soft light of the stars. The temperature dropped considerably since Sam had initially come out. But he didn’t mind the nice chill, it braced his skin and left him with tingling goosebumps. It reminded Sam how real the moment actually was. Paying less attention to the hearty sloshes of water, Sam picked up his radio. 

‘Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleepin'

We could dream this night away…’

He might have heard the song before, couldn’t be sure, and if he was alone he might have continued flipping stations just in case an older favorite was slipping through his fingers. But Bucky began to hum with the tune. 

‘But there's a full moon risin'

Let's go dancin' in the light

We know where the music's playin'

Let's go out and feel the night…’

Sam gathered himself up from the creaky dock, stretching his body little by little and watching Bucky’s wandering eyes. He gently held out his hands which was enough of a sign for Bucky to happily grab them and pull himself up. 

Sam shoved the radio in his pocket with a smile and though Bucky was more than just pleased to see him so jovial, he also felt a flicker of nervousness. “Man...for the first time in a while, I feel lucky as Hell.” 

‘Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I'm still in love with you

On this harvest moon…’

Sam raised his brow and initiated the first few dance steps with his partner hardly noticing the movement at all. “How’s that?” 

“I’m lucky to be in love with someone I like so much.” Bucky puffed out a relaxed sigh with his words and finally leaned into the dancing with real vigor. “Sam, I’ve never wanted to spend my life with someone as badly as I do with you.” 

Wind whistled past their shoulders but Sam felt perfectly warm. He let Bucky take the lead and allowed himself to be spun. The cool light of the moon acted as a highlighter, beams of translucent white caressed the shape of Sam’s body. Following the curve of his hips and sliding down the length of his legs. “Growing old with you...becoming a cranky old man couple, that sounds like fun.” He spoke as if he hadn’t had true fun in years which was probably true. 

A bush fondly bloomed under Bucky’s skin. Behind his fluttering eyelashes, Bucky indulged for once in his life. To drink in all that was this man in front of him. 

However Sam’s eyes were now focused on a cupped hand, which had somehow slipped from Bucky’s, where a yellow toned light would flicker every few seconds. Whenever the yellow light skimmed his face, he would grin with pure joy. 

“You never caught a firefly before, Sam?” Bucky asked in jest, with a huff of amused laughter. 

Sam gently guided the bug into Bucky’s face.

“Oh, fuck! You asshole” Bucky scrunched up his nose and swatted dramatically at his nose. “I change my mind, cancel my idea. Gonna crawl back into the absolute hole that is my apartment--” He playfully backed away from his friend. 

Before Bucky could slip the last inch of his skin from Sam’s hand, the man used the full strength of his extended arm to fiercely pull him back and into his chest. Like a damn professional dancer. “I’ve been seeing myself from grief’s eyes for too damn long. Think I’m ready to take control of my own life. I want to be with you.” He playfully grinned. “What about you?”

Bucky glowed in Sam’s arms. “For a long time, I lost my sense of self…” He scratched behind his ear. “But never my fuckin’ point of view.” His voice broke just a little. “I had to see and feel every horrendous thing the Winter Soldier did. “I’ll bear the consequences for the rest of my life and I accept that.” He shook his head. “But I’m ready to accept happiness too. I really want to be with you, Sam.” 

Sam nodded, content as he’d ever been. “I think we should get our dinner before Sarah comes to drag us by our ears.”

Bucky pressed a sweet kiss, full of longing and fulfillment. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” He laughed, taking Sam’s arm and pulling him down the dock with a spring in both their steps. 

‘But now it's gettin' late

And the moon is climbin' high

I want to celebrate

See it shinin' in your eye’

 ‘Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I'm still in love with you

On this harvest moon’

[areiton]

End of Year Recs - 2019

It’s the end of year fic round up time--and this year I’m doing things a little different. I’m gonna do my favorite two fic for each ship or gen pairing I really enjoyed this year, and then (up to) five honorable mentions. 

So here--without particular order, my faves from the year!! Also this is long as hell so hit read more for...more... 

Irondad

we’re gonna have to do this together by edibna (Irondad | MCU)

Being a superhero sometimes means you forget about the small dangers in the world, like disease. For Peter, this means he loses May to natural causes, not something he could ever save her from.

Unknown to him, May left custody of Peter in the hands of Tony Stark, who, even though he wants kids, has no idea how to actually raise one. With a grieving superhero teenager on his hands, Tony is going to have to figure it out quick, if he wants Peter to ever be able to move on and be happy.

Webcams and Webshooters by losingmymindtonight (Irondad | MCU)

Once Peter's relationship with Tony gets out, the public can't get enough of their new favorite father-son duo.

So, naturally, they monopolize.

(Or: Tony and Peter's relationship, as seen through videos.)

Honorable Mentions:

Put out every star

Holdfasts

i'm the satellite (And you're the sky)

stars, hide your fires

miscommunications

 ~*~*~ 

Winteriron

fractures (filled) with liquid gold by itsallAvengers (Winteriron | MCU)

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

illuminate me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory (Winteriron | MCU)

Tony isn't a healthy man. He's fine with that, really. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, he has a job to do that kind of has his health as a major requirement. So he unmakes himself, remakes the Accords, protects every single child super that enters his field of view, and hopes ferociously that the Avengers never come back to the US. He doesn't spend any time at all rebuilding Bucky Barnes' life. Not a single second. Anything he does that contributes to him is simply an accident.

Bucky is a patient man. It's ok if Tony wants to ignore him for now. He won't be able to forever.

(Somewhere in the world, a sense of dread crawls up the back of Tony's spine)

Honorable Mentions:

a street corner in Cambridge

does it hurt

the road less traveled at the end of the line

scars

looking at you

 ~*~*~

Sambucky

winter, sweetheart by wilsonsnest (Sambucky | MCU)

To know the Falcon’s identity feels surreal to Bucky. It means nothing. As far as Hydra was concerned, Sam Wilson was erased. He has only ever been The Falcon and to Bucky he’s always been Sweetheart.

we could jump state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard (Sambucky | MCU)

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

Honorable Mentions:

seek out hidden places

not an end, but (the start of all things)

cancel all your reservations (no more hesitations)

they gave you a heart, they gave you a name

you touch me within and so I (i know I could be human once again)

 ~*~*~

Starker

Stipulations by anonymous (Starker | MCU )

Peter Parker’s longterm dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in...

And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

mr. hurricane by spqr (Starker | MCU)

Peter makes it to the ripe old age of 26 without anyone finding out he’s Spider-Man. And then he falls asleep during a B&E at Stark Tower, and the rest is—well, the rest is this.

Honorable Mentions:

Both Ways

breaking point

velvet elvis

the leash

left hand free

~*~*~

Thorki

along a deserted highway by trieduntrue (Thorki | MCU)

The events of Thor (2011) take a different turn when both Thor and Loki are sent to Midgard without their powers as punishment for their misdeeds. With nothing except each other, they go on a journey to reclaim Mjolnir together.

soft shocks by stereobone (Thorki | MCU)

"And why," says Thor, "would I need to come with you to Jötunheim?"

"Ah, well," Loki says. "They may be under the impression that we're married."

Honorable Mentions:

How Long We Were Fooled

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon

~*~*~

Ironhusbands

touch the sky by scrollgirl (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Jamie Rhodes wouldn't be who she is today without her friendship with Tony Stark. The flip side of that is Tony Stark wouldn't be Iron Man without the twenty-five years he's been in love with her.

twenty five years by Not Applicable (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

Honorable Mentions:

a date on the moon

home for the non-holidays

reconstruction

pretend we're in love (the heartache still hurts)

i place your hands around my neck

 ~*~*~

Winterhawk

silhouette by mariana_oconnor (Winterhawk | MCU)

After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.

On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated.

nameless by AvaKelly (Winterhawk | MCU)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Honorable Mentions:

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars

clint barton's super secret snipers' club

lucky in love

i'll keep you safe here with me

complications

~*~*~

RPF

the end of the missing by eadunne2 (Evanstan | MCU RPF)

Sebastian remembers this from before, Chris’s physicality, remembers shoving and tripping one another, and hugs that lingered. It had been silly, friendly, until some vague, unspoken moment towards the end of filming when their relationship had changed again - Chris circling Sebastian’s wrist with his hand, or a palm to his lower back, only on rough days, only when Chris noticed him tensing up against unpleasantness in his own mind. At first Seb wanted to apologize, brokenness is a tiresome trait, but the actions seem to calm Chris too, ease his busy brain. When they lost touch Seb pretended not to miss it; he wouldn’t have had a chance to anyway, right? - with two dozen excellent fuck buddies all over the globe. Weird how they all had blue eyes though.

I would lose my decadence (for your love) by deadhearts (Stackie | MCU RPF)

The thing of it was that Mackie had just been trying to make a point. He'd just been trying to shut him up, or to make something clear, and he'd done what he'd set out to do. Sebastian had been well and properly put in his place. He'd been put in his place so well that Mackie had never touched him again, not in that way, because he'd never had the need: whatever question he'd been asking had been so thoroughly and roundly answered that there wasn't any need to ask it twice.

Honorable Mentions:

Like O, Like H

when you kiss me i just gotta say (baby i love you)

cross the line

fine until you're not

 ~*~*~

Stucky

ain’t no grave (can keep my body down) by spitandvinegar (Stucky | MCU)

It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

there should be stars by childhoodinfamy (Stucky | MCU)

“All memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.

But sometimes there were good times.

Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep

beside me and never dreamed afraid.

There should be stars for great wars

like ours. There ought to be awards

and plenty of champagne for the survivors.”

- Sandra Cisneros

 Or, it takes them decades.

Honorable Mentions:

This, you protect

little animal lives

the long game

a long winter

the art of cooking for two

 ~*~*~

Stony

never too late for love by Sineala (Stony | MCU)

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

wait and sea by lenalena (Stony | MCU)

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Honorable Mentions:

celestial navigation

the song without words

dear mr fantasy

slipping off the page into your hands

the twice-told tale

~*~*~

Stuckony

hide a heart of war by  Hummingbird_52 (Stuckony | MCU)

“You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

the stories we write by NotEvenCloseToStraight (Stuckony | MCU)

A question at an interview leads to Steve and Bucky discovering fan fiction, and after piles of coffeeshop au's and fake dating tropes (and screaming over ABO fics) they find an author that writes some of the best fics they've ever read-- reader inserts starring a dark haired, dark eyed male reader as their shared love interest.

The platonic fics are heartfelt and sweet, the smutty fics have them tearing their clothes off to act out scenes, the soulmate fics have them crying over the true love that so often ends with the Reader passing away and Stucky being left behind.

Then one day, a fic posts with a scene taken right out of their lives, one that happened right there in the Tower, entirely the same right up until they take the Reader to bed.

Bucky is the one to realize the writer is Tony.

Steve is the one to suggest writing fics of their own to show Tony they return his feelings.

Writing fics to show an author you're in love? What could possibly go wrong?

Honorable Mentions:

eagles

branded

imagine you and you (and you) and me

[mcu-headcanons]

Can I Talk to You?

Ok, so, I wrote a thing. It's kinda sad on the low, but not really. The main relationship is Carol & Bucky friendship, but the background ships are Sambucky and Carolmaria

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I know what it's like." Carol says softly as she approaches the love seat on which Bucky is sitting. "To have all these foggy memories in your head and not know what's real and what's not. To be taken apart and put back together like a lab rat."

Bucky straightens and wipes the stray tears from his face. When did those get there? "I-... y-... sorry."

"For what?" She tilts her head and cocks an eyebrow, the two longest strands from her short blonde hair framing her face.

"I just... I try not to let people see when I get... I don't know. I just get overwhelmed sometimes. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." He confesses.

"Being overwhelmed is natural, James. You've been through a lot." When Bucky doesn't speak for a while, she starts again. "It makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

He turns to look at her.

"You think about all the things that you went through and you can't help but wonder what you did to deserve it. You search tirelessly for an answer that isn't there."

"Ye-" he clears his throat as his voice is hoarse and wipes the new tears that have formed. "Yeah."

"And then there's the flipside. Y'know, I sit at home with my beautiful wife, and our beautiful daughter, our perfect little family- I love the two of them more than I thought it was possible to ever love anyone, and yet, I can't help but think about all the innocent people - mostly Skrulls - that I hurt while I was with the Kree." She pauses. "I just think 'Why do I get to live this perfect life when my own two hands ended theirs?'"

Bucky can only nod. He's scared that anything he says will just come out as a sob. How can she put so perfectly into words what he'd been trying to work out himself for years?

Carol continues "But then I talk to Maria, and she reminds me that it wasn't me who did those things - it was Vers. Just like it wasn't you who did the things that you think about, it was the Winter Soldier." She waits. "Do you talk to Sam? About this stuff, I mean."

Bucky shakes his head. "Maybe I should."

"Well, you don't have to. That's your decision, but I think he would really like it if you did."

"Yeah" he nods.

"Well, I have to get going now. It was nice talking to you, James." Carol stands

"It's Bucky. And, thanks... for this. It helped a lot."

Carol smiles. "Anytime, Bucky."

As if on cue, as soon as Carol leaves, Sam walks in the door. "Hey, babe." he greets and kisses Bucky softly on the lips. "Sorry I would come sooner, but Natasha and Peter wanted my help with-" That's when he really looks at Bucky, more specifically the tear tracks and puffy eyes. "Oh, honey." he sympathizes, cupping Bucky's cheek as he sits. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm um... Can I talk to you?"

[chicklette]

I’ll pick you up (so you can fall)

Title/Link: I’ll pick you up (so you can fall)

Square Filled: SamBucky

Ship: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes

Words: 4560

Rating: M for language, themes//No explicit sex

Major Tags: terrible pick up lines, Post CW; Not Infinity War compliant, mentions of Steve/Tony, Steve Rogers is a good bro,

Summary: Bucky asks for Sam’s help with some pick up lines.  Sam wonders who exactly Bucky’s trying to pick up.

Created for @mcukinkbingo

Sam’s sitting on the couch in the living room at Avenger’s tower, flipping through TV channels and periodically checking his phone.  They all have their own private spaces, and he could be doing nothing there, but whether he’s willing to acknowledge it or not, he’s…waiting.

He looks up from his phone when Bucky walks in the door.  “Well?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.  “How’d it go?”  A year after coming home from Wakanda (and getting the okay from his therapist), and Bucky’s been dipping his toes back into the dating pool.  Steve’s been relentless in suggesting various men for Bucky to date, and Natasha’s been relentless in vetting them.  Still, nothing’s clicked so far.

Bucky groans as his lip curls into a snarl.  “Don’t ask.  Can you believe I used to be good at this shit?”

“Actually, no, but if you say so, man.”

“Oh, fuck off, Wilson.”

Sam has to fight to hold back his smirk.  Bucky’s only serious when he calls Sam by his given name.  Wilson out of Bucky’s mouth means everything A-Ok.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Sam replies.

Bucky gives him a deadpan look.  “The waiter dropped a stack of plates and I pushed my date down onto the floor and covered him with my body.”

“Ouch,” Sam hisses.  “Still, at least he knows you’ll protect him if shit gets weird.”

“Yeah…he did not see the chivalry aspect of that particular move.  It probably didn’t help that I’d already insulted his mustache.”

Sam’s lip curls.  “He had a mustache?”

“What’s that look?  You have a mustache.”

Quirking his lips and raising one brow, Sam says, “Yeah, but I look good.”

Bucky heaves a sigh as he falls into the armchair next to the couch.  “Why did I think I could do this?” he asks the ceiling.

“Look, aside from that whole brain-washed assassin vibe you’ve got going on, I don’t see the problem.  You clean up okay, and I hear man-buns are in.”

Without taking his eyes from the ceiling, Bucky flips Sam off.

Letting out a chuckle, Sam leans forward.  “Seriously though,” Sam begins, and then startles when he realizes he’s about to make a sincere offer of help. Breathing deep, he forges ahead. “What’s the objective?  You just trying to get laid, or are you looking for Twu Wuv?”

“You think you’re hilarious, but you’re not.  So sad.”

“Hey, at least I haven’t been dating my right hand for the last seventy years.”

“Not just the right one,” Bucky says with a smirk, and Sam can’t help the chuckle that it pulls from him, even as he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.  Well, you want any pointers, you let me know.”

“Yeah, full offense, but isn’t the reason you’re hanging out at home on a Friday night is because you struck out with that girl from HR?”

“Excuse you, I did not strike out.  She thought it would be awkward to date since we work together.  I respected her decision.”

“Hey, man, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Sam smiles, but he hears the hidden commiseration.  It’s not hard at all finding someone who wants to date the Winter Soldier or the Falcon.  However, it’s turned out to be harder than expected to find someone who wants to date Sam Wilson, or Bucky Barnes.

“Of the three of us, how is it that Steve is the one in a successful relationship?” Sam asks.

“I think it’s that whole ‘shared life experiences’ thing,” Bucky replies.

Steve and Tony had quietly started dating a few months after Bucky came out of cryo for the last time.   They still bicker endlessly, but there’s an affection there that makes everyone who watches them smile.  When Sam had asked why Steve and Bucky never got together, their responses were equally horrified.

“Whaaaat?” Steve asked, his face a study of “Do Not Want.”

“Gross,” Bucky replied, looking so distraught that Sam dropped the subject and never asked again.

“Seriously though,” Sam says.  “What’s your best line?  Lay it on me.”

“Line?” There’s a little crease of confusion between Bucky’s brows and it’s definitely not adorable.

“Yeah, like, “If looks could kill, baby, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.”

Bucky blinks at him.  “I am a weapon of mass destruction.”

Sam glares at him until he starts to look sheepish.  “Sorry,” he says, running his hand over the scruff at his jaw.  “I’m a man, not a weapon.”

Sam gives him a look that says ‘you’re damned right,” before taking another pull from his beer.  “Anyway,” Sam says.  “Sorry ‘bout your date.”

Bucky shrugs.  “Wanna order a pizza?” he asks.

“Didn’t you just eat?”

“And?” Bucky asks, looking confused.

“Yeah, alright.  No mushrooms.”

“You got no taste, Wilson,” Bucky says, and pulls out his phone to place the order and let security know about the incoming delivery.

Later, once they’ve demolished a couple of pizzas, a side of breadsticks, and a family sized salad, the two of them hang out on the couch, watching TV, engaging in a little gentle ribbing.  It’s not until Sam’s in bed and about to drift off to sleep that he realizes it’s one of the best nights he’s had in a long time.  He tries not to examine it too much.  It’s one thing to be bi.  It’s another to be kind of gay for a hundred-year-old former world’s-deadliest-assassin.  He rolls his eyes at himself and turns over to go to sleep.

.

The next morning, Bucky sidles up to him while they’re making coffee in the main kitchen.  Sam’s been for his morning run with Steve, and from the looks of things, Bucky’s just rolled out of bed.

“Hey,” Bucky mumbles.

“Hey,” Sam replies.  He might hate running, but at least it’s the kick in the ass he needs to get his day going.  He’s got a group to lead at the VA in about an hour, and he’s supposed to do some training with Wanda in the afternoon.  Avenging’s a good life.  He could be doing a lot worse.

“Wilson,” Bucky says, and Sam snaps out of his reverie, realizing that Bucky’s been trying to get his attention.

“What’s up?”

Bucky opens his mouth to say something, then closes it and looks away.  “Nothing.  ‘Morning.”

Sam arches an eyebrow.  “Okaaay.”

“Just, uhm, you know how you said you would help me?”  

Looking Bucky over, Sam sees the way that Bucky’s shoulders are hunching, a sure sign of his discomfit, and Sam considers himself lucky to be seeing it.  Lucky that Bucky trusts him enough to show his anxiety, rather than hiding behind the façade he wears like a second skin.

A quip is on the tip of Sam’s tongue, but he can’t be sure how Bucky’ll take it, so he holds his tongue and nods.  “What’d you have in mind?” he asks.

“IreadthisthingontheinternetandIwantedtopracticeonyou, he says, all in one breath.

“You what now?”

“I read this thing on the internet,” Bucky says again, “and I wondered if I could practice on you?”

Sam smiles, slow and easy.  “And what’s this thing you read?”

“It’s a – uhm, line?”

“You want to try a pick up line on me?”

“Forget it,” Bucky says, and turns away.

“Hey,” Sam says, and reaches out for Bucky’s arm before he can get too far.  There was a time when Sam was acutely aware of touching the metal arm.  Now, though, it’s just another part of Bucky Barnes.  He’s not even aware of the difference most of the time.

“Come on,” Sam says, when Bucky finally turns around.  “Lay it on me.”

“Just, um.”  Bucky walks over to the dish rack and pulls out a bunch of forks and knives, then walks back to Sam. “I – I have all.”  He stops himself and looks down, face pinking.  Taking a deep breath, Bucky looks Sam in the eye and starts over.  “I have all these forks and knives, baby, but what I need is a little spoon.”

Sam stares for a moment, slack jawed, before busting out in the biggest grin.  “That was fucking terrible,” he says, a giggle rising in his throat.  As he stands there, he’s sure that the response he’s having – heart beating fast, warmth creeping into his face – has nothing to do with the way Bucky’s looking at him, eyes wide and hopeful, a light blush across his cheeks, and his lips curving into one of the most sincere smiles Sam has ever seen.  No, his response has to do with the absolute awfulness of that pick up line.

As he gives in to the giggle, Bucky starts to grin.  “Hey,” he says, raising his eyebrows.  “Made ya laugh at least.”

“Yeah, you keep working on that,” he says, turning toward his coffee.   He looks back up just in time to see Bucky give a mock salute.

“Sir, yessir!” he says, and walks away.

Looking back, Sam can say one thing for sure:  He has no idea that he’s just unleashed a monster.

.

A few days later, Sam’s heading down to the training room and Bucky, soaked in sweat and red-cheeked, seems to be coming back from there.  They’re about to pass one another on the stairs when Bucky pauses, and bends to look at Sam’s pants.

“What…?” Sam asks.

“Are…are those mirrors on your pants, Wilson?”

Sam hardly has time to process the words before Bucky’s standing upright again, and right in Sam’s space.  “Cause I sure can see myself in them,” Bucky finishes and continues his trek upstairs, leaving a baffled Sam in his wake.

.

About a week later, there have been no additional forays into the world of pickup lines, and Sam starts letting his guard down.  It’s another quiet Friday night:  Steve and Tony are trying out a new sushi place, Nat and Clint are doing recon in one of the countries that end in stan, and Wanda is in California, visiting Scott and Luis.  Sam’s not exactly sure where the world’s deadliest assassin is spending the evening, and he tells himself that he doesn’t care.

Still, when the elevator pings and Bucky steps into the shared space, Sam can’t help but feel a little bit more at ease.  They choose a movie, Bucky orders Thai food, and the two of them settle into a comfortable silence, punctuated by quips aimed both at one another and the film.

.

Bucky and Sam are in the training room, going over the latest set of simulations.  Sam swoops down, picks Bucky up, and then drops him down onto a platform, where he rolls and comes up firing.  At least, that’s how it’s meant to go in theory.  In reality, Sam drops Bucky, Bucky rolls…and rolls himself right off of the platform, falling about two stories onto the padded mats below.

“Shit,” Sam swears as he comes to land next to Bucky.  “Shit.  You okay?”

Groaning, Bucky rolls onto his back.  “My appendix,” he moans, and Sam���s eyes widen.

“What?”

“I think…I think you’re my appendix,” Bucky says, his face lighting into a grin.  “I’m not sure what you do, but I’m pretty sure I should take you out.”

“Man, fuck you,” Sam says, turning away to hide his grin.  “I thought you were really hurt.”

“Aw, were you worried about me Sammy?”

“No.”

“Aw, you were, weren’t you?  That’s so sweet,” Bucky says, rolling up to his feet and shaking off the fall.  “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Sam says.  “They made sure I’m damn near indestructible.”

“Yeah,” Sam says.  “Alright.”

.

It shouldn’t be a surprise when Sam walks into the common room a few days later and Bucky looks at him and winces.  It shouldn’t be, but….

“Did it hurt?” Bucky asks, when Sam gives him a questioning look.

“What?”

“Did it hurt?” Bucky asks, getting up and stalking toward Sam, and damn.  He looks really fucking good in black jeans and a dark blue Henley.  Really fucking good. His hair’s up in a loose bun, but strands of it are falling down around his face, and his cheekbones, Jesus.  No one should have cheekbones like that.  It’s just not fair.

“When you fell from heaven, sweetheart,” Bucky says, getting close enough for Sam to smell him, clean and a little earthy, warm.  “Did it hurt?”

“I will fucking end you,” Sam says, but there’s no bite to the words.  In fact, if he’s being honest (he’s not), they come out maybe just a little bit breathy.

“Promises, promises,” Bucky says, then walks away, all fluid grace and swagger.

Sam lets out a heavy sigh and leans against the wall.  “That fuckin’ guy,” he mutters to himself.

.

It’s gotten to the point that Sam starts dreading being alone with Bucky, in part because he never pulls that flirty shit when any of the team are around, and in part because…because…because Sam’s maybe, kind of, just a little bit falling for it.  Maybe.

It’s just…Bucky’s really attractive.  It’s those high cheekbones and all that hair, the way his lips curve at the corners, and how he lights up when he’s happy.  Sam never thought he’d be looking at Bucky with anything like want, but, here they are.

He’s not entirely sure what to do with his crush.  For the time being, he decides to let it sit.  After all, Barnes probably doesn’t mean anything by it.  No sense in letting a dumb crush come between them.

And if he lets himself hope a little, well, that’s just his business.

Still, that sliver of hope that he’s allowed himself crumbles a few days later when he’s running with Steve.

“Hey,” Steve says, slowing up his regular triple time pace to keep pace with Sam.   “How’s the project going?”

“Project?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, Buck said you were helping him out with something.  He was really excited about it, but now he won’t say a word.”

“Oh,” Sam says.  “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna laugh,” Sam says, feeling protective of Bucky, and hey, that’s new.

“I won’t.”

“It’s – it’s ridiculous,” Sam pants.  “He asked me to help him learn how to flirt.”

Steve coughs out a laugh, then stops jogging when the laugh overtakes him.  He’s doubled over his knees laughing when Sam’s about had enough.

“It’s not that funny,” he says.  “I do have some game.”

“No,” Steve laughs, holding a placating hand up.  “No, it’s not that that – it’s just – Sam, Bucky’s the biggest flirt I know.  Always has been.  He said he learned growing up with three sisters, but man, he could charm the socks off of anyone back in the day.  Still can, from what I’ve seen.”

Sam shrugs, feeling…hurt?  Defensive?  He’s not sure.

“Well I don’t know what he’s playing at, then,” Sam says, and Steve straightens at his tone.

“Hey,” he says.  “Come on.  If he asked you for help, he must need it.  I think he still thinks you don’t like him, Sam.”

“What?” Sam’s thinking of all the Friday night’s they’ve spent together, how Bucky knows his orders for Thai, Sushi, Chinese, Japanese, and pizza, and how he knows that it’s Star Wars and not Star Trek, thank you very much, Tony Stark.

Steve shrugs. “Anyway, I do know there’s someone he’s been wanting to ask out for a while now, so maybe it’s just nerves.  Either way, thank you, Sam.  I know you didn’t get along at first, but I’m grateful that you’re willing to help him now.”

“Pfft,” Sam says.  “He is my friend, too, you know.  It’s not like this is some big favor.”

Steve smiles, then starts jogging in place.  “Last one to Harold’s buys the donuts,” he says.

“Oh,” Sam says, making a face.  “I better put in my best effort.  Maybe today’s the day I beat you.”  His tone is dry and flat.

“This is why you never beat me,” Steve yells over his shoulder.  “Too much yapping.”

“I hate you,” Sam yells, but picks up the pace nonetheless.

.

That evening Sam’s mulling over his delivery choices in the common room when Bucky gets off of the elevator.  He’s clean shaven and his hair is pulled back, off his face and in a neat bun at the base of his neck.  He’s wearing dark jeans and a soft blue Henley, with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows.  He looks – he looks good, and Sam has to remind himself not to stare.

“Hey man,” he says, and tries to keep it casual.  He feels ready for whatever Barnes is going to throw him.

“Hey,” Bucky says.  He walks to the fridge and grabs a couple of beers out, handing one to Sam.

“So,” Bucky says.  “Chinese?  Italian?  What’re we doing tonight?”

“We?” Sam answers.  “And here I thought you had a date, looking like that.”

Bucky colors slightly.  “Nah,” he says, and goes for his hair, pulling out the tie that’s holding it in place.  It falls around his face and Sam suppresses a groan.  His long, wavy hair throws the sharpness of his jawline and cheekbones into sharp contrast.

“Oh,” Sam finally says.  “You looked nice.”

Coloring further, Bucky moves to wrap his hair back up, but Sam stays him.

“Hey,” he says.  “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, but slips the hair tie around his wrist.  He comes around to stand next to Sam, looking over his shoulder at the take out menus.

“We could go out,” Bucky says.  “There’s a new steakhouse that Steve was talking up the other day….”  Bucky trails off and kind of shrugs.

Sam feels like he’s losing his equilibrium.  He can’t help but feel that he’s missing something, and something big, but he’s not sure what it is.

“A steakhouse?” he says, and Bucky brightens, smiles.

Sam’s starting to feel like he’s in pretty big trouble here, because he finds himself agreeing just so Bucky won’t lose that look on his face.

“Okay,” he says.  “Just let me get changed.”

Bucky shrugs and smiles and waits.

By the time they get back to the tower, they’re both stuffed to the gills.  The steakhouse was excellent.  They’d both ordered the tomahawk cut rib-eyes, with a bevy of sides to go with.  When the bill came, Bucky insisted on paying, and once or twice, he’d put his hand at the small of Sam’s back when they were walking.  It gave Sam that feeling of everything being off kilter, like a room where all the furniture’s been moved just a couple of inches to the left.  

“Now what?” Sam asks, and all but throws himself on the couch.  He’s giving serious thought to going upstairs to change into sweats, but thinks he can probably get away with just unbuttoning the top button of his jeans instead.  

Bucky comes to sit beside him for a moment, before he jumps back up and grabs a couple of beers.

“I don’t know where you think I’m gonna put that,” Sam says, wondering if he can get away with undoing that button without Bucky noticing.

Shrugging, Bucky sets Sam’s beer down on the table, and perches at the edge of the couch.  Sam’s just about to ask him what’s up, when he turns and looks at Sam and it’s - it’s devastating.  

Bucky looks young and innocent, and absolutely breathtaking.  Whatever Sam was about to say catches in his throat as Bucky looks at him, licks his lips then bites his bottom lip.  Sam can’t tell if it’s a nervous tick or something he’s doing for show, but whatever it is, it looks good.

“I need some advice, Sam.”

“Alright, whatcha got?”

“There’s this guy.  He’s gorgeous, smart, funny.  He’s maybe the best person I know,” Bucky says and thats - that’s saying a lot.  “He’s probably way out of my league, but…” and Bucky hunches his shoulders.  “I don’t know what to say to him, and none of my lines have worked so far.”

Oh, Sam thinks, as he tamps down the hurt.  Oh.  Whoever this guy is, Bucky’s pretty clearly…pretty clearly in love with him.  Oh.

Okay.

“You know,” Sam says, and suddenly he wants to be anywhere but here.  “Just, you know, walk up to him, introduce yourself, tell him you’d like to take him out.  Can’t win if you don’t try,” Sam says.

“Okay,” Bucky says.  “So….”  He stands and comes around to the side of the table where Sam is.  “Hi.  I’m Bucky,” he says, putting his hand out.  “I think you’re so great,” he says, and there’s this gorgeous earnestness in Bucky’s eyes.  Sam’s heart keens a little at that.  “I was just hoping...would you let me take you out sometime?”

Sam smiles, but it feels like a fraud on his face.  “That’s good, Barnes.  Just like that, and he’ll be putty in your hands.”

Bucky looks startled for a moment, before he blinks and takes his hand back.  That beatific smile from a moment ago is gone, and Sam can’t help but feel jealous of the guy that Bucky’s gonna aim it at next.

“Okay,” Bucky says, taking a deep breath.  “Okay.  I gotta - I’m going to bed,” he says, and quicks as that, disappears.

.

In the weeks that come, Sam hardly sees Bucky outside of their schedules sparring sessions and missions.  There’s a group movie night, but Bucky sticks to Steve like glue, offering Sam nothing more than a smile from across the room.  Sam smiles back - he’s genuinely starting to miss the guy, but he figures that whoever Bucky was working up to asking out must have said yes, because he’s been scarce at the tower.  Sam might have dropped by his rooms once or twice on a Friday night, but his knocks went unanswered, and Jarvis was mum on the subject of Bucky’s whereabouts when asked.

He finally can’t take it anymore, so the next time he and Steve are running, he brings it up.

“So,” Sam says.  “Barnes.”

“Yeah?”

“Guess it’s going good with that guy he was trying to ask out?  Haven’t seen him around much.”

“Huh?” Steve says, and that asshole isn’t even out of breath.

“Have you met him at least?” Sam asks.  

Steve stops jogging and drops down onto a grassy patch next to their usual path.  “I don’t - Sam,” he says, and he’s got this look on his face, like he’s trying to figure out what to say.

“What is it?” Sam asks.  As close as he and Barnes have gotten, he still counts Steve as his best friend.  

Steve gives Sam a long, speculative look.  “Bucky did ask someone out.  Someone he really likes and admires.  Someone he’d been getting close to.  But the guy didn’t take him seriously,” Steve says, and he gives Sam a hard look.  “So Bucky retreated.”  

At that, Steve stands up and stretches an elbow up over his head.  “I”m gonna head back to the tower.  I’ll...see you later.”

Sam blinks and watches as Steve stretches the other arm.  Is he...did he just…?

“Steve,” Sam says, because he feels like he’s finally getting a clue.

“See ya, Sam.” Steve turns and begins to jog away.

“Steve!”  He watches as Captain Tiny Ass jogs away, leaving him on the grass to think.  

He goes over the last few months in his head, how Bucky was at turns awkward and suave, how he always seemed to have time for Sam, until he didn’t have any time for Sam.  Their dinner out.  The way he’d put his hand on the small of Sam’s back to steer him.  His earnest smile when he’d asked Sam out.

“Aw, fuck me,” Sam groans and flops back onto the grass.  He gives himself a full minute to wallow in his own dumbassery, before pulling out his phone.

.

A couple of hours and one bodega stop later, Sam is haunting the common room when he’s supposed to be in the training room.  He hopes that Bucky come down, thinking that Sam won’t be there.  He hopes that what he’s doing will be enough.  

He hopes.

The elevator pings and the doors slide open and Bucky steps out.  He only takes a step before he notices Sam, and Sam watches as his posture goes rigid.  Sam comes from around the counter, his arms full of limes, and takes two steps toward Bucky before the limes start to fall, cascading onto the floor and rolling everywhich way.

“Shit,” he says, and bends to retrieve them.  Bucky joins, chasing a few down before returning to hand them over to Sam.

Sam looks up at him, gives Bucky his very best grin, and says “Hey, thanks, man.  I guess I’m really bad at pick up limes.”

Bucky stares at him a moment, eyes wide and unblinking.  Sam stands resolutely in place, smile fixed on his face.

“You…” Bucky starts, but trails off.

Sam’s grin deepens.

“Holy shit, sweetheart,” Bucky finally says, a wide grin splitting his face.  “That was the worst!”  It’s followed by a disbelieving chuckle and Sam’s pretty sure he’s more than halfway home.

“Did it work?” Sam asks, with a slow blink.

“Goddamn,” Bucky says, dropping his limes and sliding an arm around Sam’s waist.  “It took you long enough.”

Sam drops his limes and steps into Bucky’s embrace.  “Well, you know I’m not as fast as you.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart,” Bucky says, and presses a small, soft kiss right behind Sam’s ear.  “I’ll wait up.”

Sam nearly melts then, because Bucky’s pressing a line of kisses along his jaw, and calling him sweetheart, and holding him like he’s afraid Sam will fly away.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says, and then: “I’ve missed you.”

Bucky snuffles something into Sam’s neck, then holds him tighter.  

“Sorry I made you wait so long,” Sam says, and presses a kiss against Bucky’s cheek.  

Bucky pulls back to look at him.  His eyes are clear and bright, that blue-gray shade that he’s missed so much, and Sam’s fingers tighten on Bucky’s shirt because this is - he gets to have this.  

“Worth it,” Bucky says, and leans in to brush the softest kiss against Sam’s lip.  “Totally worth it.”

As the afternoon slips into the evening, their kisses grow for frequent, then more lingering, then more heated.  When Sam takes Bucky by the hand to lead him to his rooms, he pauses and asks, “Is this okay?”

“More than,” Bucky says, and kisses him long, and deep, and hot.  “Besides, I gotta show you all the other tricks I’ve learned from the internet.”

Sam only has a moment to worry before Bucky’s manhandled him into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Should I be worried?” Sam asks, tugging his t-shirt off and tossing it near the hamper.  

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky says, and Sam thinks that that particular endearment will never get old.  “You have no idea.”

As it turns out, Bucky’s right.  

And as it turns out, Sam doesn’t mind in the least.  

AN: shoutout to @jinojiboundagain for the inspiration and @rainbowwisher for being the best ever.

[wenellyb]

My journey in the MCU fandom on Tumblr: Sharing my thoughts on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, racism in the MCU fandom and the best and the worse of the fandom

I wasn’t going to write this much but here I am… I don’t even know where I’m going with this but since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just recently came out, I wanted to share some thoughts.

I joined Tumble because of a show I loved but most of you don’t know it “ Hit the Floor”

I stayed on Tumblr for two reasons only, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan.

Before the Captain America:Civil War premiere, a friend sent me the link to the Sebastian and Anthony ET interview, and I was hooked. In just one interview. I discovered Anthony Mackie. The guy was hilarious!!! I just couldn’t get enough and I knew I had to know more about him. How could he improvise so many funny lines on the spot? He was just amazing.

I had pretty much watched all the avengers movie but that was it. I was not involved in the fandom. So I knew Sam Wilson’s face, but I couldn’t even remember his name if my life depended on it. That’s how much the MCU treated him as a side character.

I was like how the f*ck don’t I know this guy?

His talent reminded me of Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, like yes they can make some emotional or serious movies, but when they want to make you laugh, you will laugh. Whether you want it or not.  I kept wondering how this guy wasn’t more famous.

And the banter with Sebastian Stan? Wow, you could tell their friendship was strong, the way Sebastian lighted up when Anthony was talking, and keep bouncing off his jokes. It was art. the way Sebastian said “ I love you” at the end of the interview. Pure gold.

I then started to watch some of the interviews and boy was that a mistake!!! I literally couldn’t get enough. So I watched all and I say all their interviews, it was the best. We got some gems:

“Why aren’t you looking at me as much”

“Which way is the beach Seabass”

*Them saying nonsense in Spanish and then Sebastian Saying Papi Chulo*

 ¨And so many more, ....

I watched other solo Anthony interviews and he was still HILARIOUS, but you could also tell he felt a little bit more at ease with Sebastian around. I won’t pretend I know him or his personality, but Sebastian seems like a little bit more of an introvert and looks like he doesn’t enjoy the interview experience unless Anthony id around him. Just my thoughts

I watched the interviews before I went to see the movie, I even cosplayed as the Winter Soldier to the movie premiere and I was IN!!! When I saw Captain America Civil War, I became a SamBucky shipper, these two were hilarious and I really so the potential for a great realtionship I love enemy to lovers stories.

I also shipped Stucky because, to me, the trope of the movie was Superhero gives up everything to protect his long term friend” Hollywood movies have some codes and if Bucky were a female character, there is no doubt in my mind that the movie would have been marketed as romance.

Stucky really was an easy ship! But then the MCU fandom of Tumblr fandom messed up everything for me. You see I really liked the CACW and I I liked Stucky, I liked Sambucky, and I loved the introduction of t’Challa’s character, but one of things that affected me the most in the movie was that it was the first blockbuster I watched with 3 black main characters, Rhodey, Sam and T’Challa. That, and the fact that they were planning to realease a Black Panther movie in two years, I was super excited, and that’s the main reason I got involved in the MCU fandom so much, when before, I was just a casual watcher.

If this seem weird to you, then you have no idea how we were only getting crumbs before. For me it was soo huge, I even told all my friends, and they were laughing at me. But usually blockbusters, especially superhero movies get one black character and that’s it, usually the best friend or something and never the leads. So, for me it really was a big deal. How sad is that by the way…

I became more involved in the fandom and, at first, I wasn’t focusing on anything special, Sambucky, Stucky, Stackie, the Black Panther, and even Zemo, whose character I really liked.

But soon I noticed that the CACW tags were always flooded, and I mean flooded with the same two white characters: Steve and Bucky. I told myself, ok that’s fine Steve is the lead after all, but it would be good to see the other characters too.

And then I noticed another interesting trend: Evanstan…. Wait what?

Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan… did I miss something? Listen, obviously I’m sure they must be friends or something, but you’re going to tell me you watch all MCU the actors and you’re going to focus on Steve and Sebastian? I’m sorry what?

Sebastian and Anthony are right there… Or Chris and Anthony, they even have a secret handshake, only the 2 of them do… what more do you want?

Tell me one iconic Evanstan moment… go ahead tell me… See??? There isn’t.

Because of this and because of how badly some Stuckies were treating Sam and Anthony. I became less and less of a stucky shipper . I mainly focused on SamBucky, Stackie and the Black Panther,

And then the Sebastian Stan stans saw how popular Stackie, Sambucky, were becoming and I started to see some problematic stuff in our fandom too.

I don’t want to generalize, but when you go into the Stackie tag, and you see cropped pictures of Sebastian without Anthony, it’s easy to assume that a Sebastian fan did that. And we know damn well you cropped out Anthony because we watched all Stackie interviews and know exactly which interview your picture was taken from. We know that Anthony was sitting right next to Seb.

You post a picture of Sebastian laughing but you crop out the person who was making him laugh??

“but it has nothing to do with race” How do you know that?

“Sebastian had more screen time” More screen time than Anthony in CATWS or CACW? I don’t think so.

“I have been a fan of Sebastian for longer”, that’s fine but don’t go out cropping Anthony, just post gifs of Seb in his usual, sad, and Anthony-less interviews, not the ones where he’s smiling because his best friend is next to him.

Some of you really are the worst. And just so you know, your fave Sebastian is Anthony’s biggest fan, if he saw pictures where you cropped out Anthony, he would block you on the spot.

When I realized that Anthony Mackie would be the next Captain America I was screaming, no actually, I was crying, Sam Wilson will be Captain America, and Anthony would finally get the recognition he deserves.

You would think that the MCU fandom would focus on Captain America or at least one the two leads, instead of just Sebastian? Right? Right? WRONG.

Anthony is handsome, he’s funny, he’s a great actor, he went to freaking Julliard, he’s at the top, I don’t see what else the man can do??? He should already be a superstar, but no, you will side-line him even to he is the lead of the show.

Even when they are the actual leads, you guys would do anything to bring up the White characters even if it means ignoring the Black characters.

I remember I was having a conversation about Black Panther with my friends and I asked one of my white friends who was his favorite character in BP was and he told me Martin Freeman (don’t even remember his name in the movie) Martin Freaking Freeman, there are half a dozen of great characters and your fave is the only white man??? Ok, ok, that’s great.

Don’t give out automatic reply like “It has nothing to do with race, if you haven’t thought about it first”, because there’s a high probability that it is indeed about race. Stop saying it isn’t, sit down and ask yourself, “Am I biased?” “Why am I reblogging only stuff related to the white characters”.

One of these days you guys are going to make me hate Sebastian with the sh*t you are pulling.

I looove the Stackie friendship and the Sambucky dynamic but after seeing the way some of you treat Anthony and Sam’s character, it make me want to focus on Sam’s character and forget about the rest.

 I remember they were some posts about how Anthony was problematic, and I just lost it. Apparently, there was an old article that resurfaced were Anthony was making a joke about women making sandwiches or something.

If you were offended by the sandwich joke, that is totally ok, and I can understand that.

But if you were offended by the sandwich joke, and saying Anthony is problematic BUT you still stan Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, ScarJo or even Sebastian Stan, just know that there is a high probability you’re racist.

They have all said or done problematic stuff, and people only seem to remember stuff related to Anthony, which was probably just a joke by the way.

Chris Evans and Jeremy called Black widow a wh*re, ScarJo took roles that she maybe shouldn’t have and I didn’t forget Sebastian shady Instagram post, when Kaepernick was kneeling. There are so many more things to be said about Jeremy Renner but google is your friend.

Anthony also got hate for hating on Tom Holland? Like what? Do you guys even hear yourselves? Don’t you have any friends you like to tease? If you hate someone, do you go around talking about him every chance you get? It was obviously friendly banter but some people wanted to turn it into something it was not. Sigh.

I really cannot with this fandom

 The stackie fandom was small at the beginning and the Sambucky fandom even smaller, but we were there and it was amazing. Sebastian and Anthony received the same amount of love from the fandom and I wish we could go back to those days.

Stop pretending the fandom isn’t racist. Stop saying “it isn’t about race” when you haven’t even thought about.

Saying “it has nothing to do with race” only shows that you haven’t thought about anything but don’t want to be called a racist.

There is racism in this fandom and it will always be there, but if you guys want to do anything about it, you have to acknowledge it first.

You can’t be pulling off stuff like “I don’t see colors”, “ it has nothing to do with race”. Stop, sit down, think about it and then we can have a conversation.

If you’ve made it till the end, I apologize for the typos and grammar mistakes, I wasn’t planning on writing this much.

[the-magic-lava-lamp]

Caught Up In You

Chapter 1 - Hop To It

Summary: A story revolving around a group of teenage friends, their mishaps, their relationships and their coming of age. 

Watch as they navigate through the highs & lows of high school relationships and learn to grow up as most of them are approaching the end of their Senior year. 

Ships: SamBucky, ThorBruce, Stony, ValJane...(More ships & characters to come)

Word Count: 9,774

{Tuesday Night}

“-Stop screaming and turn left at the light.” Tony mumbled miserably in the passengers seat of his fathers car. He was trying desperately to sink into the material of the seat and ignore the horrid expression on his fathers face. It helped to rub his palm harder into his eyes, it earned him the fuzzy kind of vision that usually only got when he was drunk. The different kind of streetlights bled together and he could almost pretend he was in any other situation. 

“I’m not screaming. Trust me, you’d know the difference if I was-” 

His father paused just time to catch Tony mouthing those words along with him in a mocking gesture. 

He did one of those half-chuckles of disappointment and tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Tony wanted nothing more than to escape the scene entirely. It wasn’t fun to admit but he was highly embarrassed and angry with himself just the same as he was pissed at him. He shuffled in his chair and lifted his legs to tuck them under his body. His knees hit the door with a loud thump which sounded eerily close to an angry reaction and maybe it was. For a few painful seconds, it made the air even more awkward. 

That was a common thread pulled between them. Most of their fights now consisted of long, horrid silences that would only break when Tony decided he wanted to really make a scene. Sometimes it was on purpose and other times... a little more subconscious. 

“Don’t make this into a fit, Tony.” 

“I’m eighteen, Dad.” He spit. “I’m not having a fucking fit.” He dug into the bag at his feet and pulled it onto his lap. Logically, he could get out of the car so much faster if he could gather all of his crap ahead of the parking lot cruise. 

“You sure about that? Because to me, it looks as if my seventeen year old is pouting in my car even though he damn well could be driving his own car if he-”  

Tony leaned over and turned the radio back to F.M. to avoid conversation even further and block out whatever shit he was gonna say next. 

The car rolled to a complete stop at the next red-light. Tony’s head thumped softly against the headrest, nails dragging painfully hard into his lip. 

“You always said The cards would never do you wrong The trick you said Was never play the game too long...”

“I work Tony. This is a huge waste of my time-” He glanced at his son and waved a spare hand off the wheel, Tony ached to slap it. 

“Eyes on the road, dad. If we get into a car accident, that’d be on your head.” Tony pursed his lips and chuckled a little as he curled his body forward. “What would your co-workers think, huh?” He put on a scandalized voice and felt a little proud when his dad gripped the wheel harder. 

“-And you're still the same I caught up with you yesterday Moving game to game No one standing in your way...”

“You’re such a smart-mouth brat, Tony.” He scowled and Tony moved his eyes back towards his window. 

“Wonder where I get that from...” He rolled his eyes. 

“I want you out of my car right now.” He heard his father mumble mostly to himself but he couldn’t help but notice they’d slowly turned onto a quiet side-street. There weren’t many passing vehicles and an open sidewalk wasn’t far from his view.

“Fine.” Tony reached out and grabbed the passenger door handle and cracked it back, sending the thing flying outwards. He attempted to unbuckle but there wasn’t much more he could do to escape after his father swung his arm over his body and reached for the door handle. 

The car swerved but luckily the road was completely empty. The tires skidded, wind blew heavily and for a moment Tony thought he might actually fall out. But the car door banged closed next to him and made him jump as he recovered from sensory overload. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” His father screamed as soon as he centered the car and pulled into the Theater parking lot. 

“There you stood Everybody watched you play I just turned and walked away I had nothing left to say...”

Tony swallowed and collected his bag. “That’s a load question, pop.” He rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth and nodded. “See ya afterwards.” He gestured to the doors and didn’t stay to hear anymore. 

Tony fell out of the car and hightailed it inside, hoping he wasn’t edging it too close to late. 

He pushed the heavy doors and slid the stupid visor onto his head. The neon lights buzzed as he steadied his hands and regained his way of walking with purpose. He held firmly onto that argument though. There was no way that was leaving his mind anytime soon. 

The red concession stand counter glittered under the burning neon and he kept his eyes centered there just in case boss-man was around. 

He punched in, took a moment or two to calm down and went to his station. 

“Hey Tony, I re-stacked the candy tree thing cause some guy fell on it earlier which was amazing, you should’ve seen it-” His co-worker had a habit of appearing out of nowhere and scaring the absolute shit out of him. But he was slowly getting used to it. He leaned over to put his forearms on the counter and look right at Tony. “You havin’ a bad day or something?” 

Tony smacked his palms down onto the glossy counter and sighed. “Yeah. You could say that. Old man took my car away so I had to put up with his...” he gestured his hand out and let it fall “crap the whole way here.” 

“Well, I know something that’s gonna make you feel better.” He grinned and his grins were always unsettling. 

“What’s that, Bucky?” Tony mumbled, not that interested as he went to work on refilling some of the popcorn. 

Bucky merely tapped him on the shoulder and he glanced up just in time to see Steve Rogers strolling in, ticket in hand like always. The tiny red stub stuck out from his clutched fist and Bucky knew it was because Steve would lose it otherwise. 

Natasha strolled in at his side and threw a knowing smirk Bucky’s way. 

Tony’s expression suddenly changed from dim to flirty in a matter of seconds, he was good at that. “Steve Rogers. What chick-flick are you seeing today?” he smirked and went through the motions of preparing Steve’s usual order. 

Steve opened his mouth to answer but had to take a quick glance at his ticket to actually provide an answer. Natasha beat him to it anyway, maybe to save some embarrassment 

“Some spy movie.” she shrugged, taking the candy Bucky handed from over Tony’s shoulder. Steve wasn’t the only one who came in quite often though he was the most painfully obvious. “Steve here is really into the tight outfits.” She tilted her chin towards him and that earned her a gentle shove of his elbow and a blush. 

Tony ate that shit right up. “Kinky.” He threw him a wink and did the tiniest of hair flips that he could manage. His hair was getting pretty long and he had to admit to himself, it was really working for him. 

Steve took the bag of popcorn and tried hard not to keep eye contact, he was far too embarrassed now. “See ya after the movie, Tony.” 

He started to walk off, Natasha following close behind. 

“Steve!” Tony basically skipped over to the other side of the circular counter with the happiest of smirks. “Please try to keep the excitement about the outfits in your pants. Some of us have to clean up that theater when the credits roll.” He tilted his chin up and swiped his tongue across his bottom lip at the last word. 

Steve nearly slid on the smooth floor and his blush couldn’t get any deeper as he quickly sped off to the sound of Nat’s laughter. 

Tony lingered in that happy state for a few seconds, still on his tip-toes and his palms flat on the glitter again. But soon after the two disappeared into the theater hall, he fell back onto his flat shoes. 

“That cheer you up?” Bucky grinned, shoving some popcorn into his mouth and Tony rolled his eyes.

He threw his hands up in ‘I don’t even know’ kinda way and went back towards the cash register.  

“You don’t get it yet, do you?” His annoying friends voice came again while Tony thumbed through a magazine he kept under his customers eye-line. 

“Get what?” He asked, not interested at all. Smug Bastard was such a know-it-all. Bucky could tell just by his tone that Tony didn’t find any value in what he was about to say. There was nothing the ‘Great Tony Stark’ didn’t already get. It only spurred Bucky on though. 

“Steve.” He clicked his tongue. “The guy’s gotta a major crush on you.” 

That got him. Tony spun around completely and leaned backwards on the ledge. “No he fucking doesn’t.” He growled, not finding this the least bit funny. Bucky was a jerk who loved to torture him but he was far from being in the mood for it. Especially not with a topic like that. 

“Why do you think he comes in here like every day?” He gestured with his hand. 

“To see movies. I don’t know.” 

“Tony. I dare you to ask Steve anything about these movies that he’s been seeing. He literally doesn’t retain any information cause he doesn’t actually give a shit about them.” He pinched Tony’s arm and got a nice slap for it. “I’m his best friend, asshole. He tells me stuff.” He threw a piece of popcorn in the air and caught it with his mouth. “The only thing he gives a shit about is seeing the handsome brunette behind the counter...” He winked “Oh and his major crush.” he slapped Tony’s arm and walked past him. 

“He doesn’t have feelings for me...Steve’s a total-” He took in a breath “Jock. I’m not even on his radar of people he could sleep with.” He shook his head and Bucky rolled his eyes this time. 

“Believe it or not but Steve doesn’t get around as much as you think.” He chuckled. “And he’s got his eyes on you, idiot. And I know you got eyes for him.” 

Tony seemed more insulted by the word ‘idiot’ than Bucky’s assumption. It was laughable and one of the many reasons Bucky was amused yet annoyed by the dude. “Shut your mouth and get to work.” 

“You should take my advice and ask him out, Lord knows he won’t ask you. I landed an excellent fella so you can trust my advice.” He swirled the damp towel over the selection of stains littering the counter though it was hard to find them with the shadow of his stupid visor. 

“Ah, your allusive boyfriend.” Tony mumbled. 

“Don’t start with me, Stark.” 

“All I’m saying is...” He turned to his long hair co-worker. “I’ve never seen him. For such a swell guy-” He mocked Bucky’s outdated language habit. “He doesn’t ever come to visit you or for a quickie in the bathroom?” 

Bucky growled. “He comes when I’m working my Tony-free shift, I’ve told you. It works better for his schedule.” 

“Ah, that’s when he comes.” Tony put a dirty emphasis on the word. “So what I’m hearing is that you did have a quickie in the bathroom?” 

Bucky blushed and shoved past Tony to do some other odd job that didn’t really need to be done yet. 

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Wednesday Morning}

“-I told him to fuck off.” 

“No you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t.” Bruce rubbed his hands together and followed Tony to his locker. His mind was still reeling from Tony’s dramatic story and he was desperately trying not to make it obvious that he was stealing long glances to the clocks. 

“No. But the trying to jump outta the car stuff is true.” Tony pursed his lips together and dug out his books. Bruce fell against the metal lockers and sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. “I didn’t get hurt, ok? But wouldn’t that have made him happy, huh?” 

Bruce gently thumped his hand atop Tony’s which was curled around the locker door. “He doesn’t want that, Tony. You know that.” He swallowed. “So what exactly led to that fight?” he was almost afraid to ask and it didn’t help when Tony physically cringed. 

“I went to a party, stayed past curfew...got drunk. The usual.” He shrugged like that was nothing and Bruce tried to remember that Tony didn’t respond well to rants about safety. 

“And what else?” There was more, it was obvious. 

Tony heaved a sigh and slammed the door closed when his Chemistry book slid free. “I came back home and...” he rubbed at his neck. “I was drunk so I was just saying shit to bother him cause he was yelling, right? Y’know I’m good at that.” the book slipped a little from his grip. “I told him that I was with some guys and I may have accidentally come out of the damn closet.” 

Bruce frowned. Tony had been struggling with that idea for a while now. 

“And he said he was taking my car away so I accused him of being homophobic as shit and that was the real reason he was punishing me.” Tony suddenly looked really pained. “But you should’ve seen his Goddamn face, Bruce. I was drunk and I still can’t get it out of my head. He was fumbling through an explanation about how wrong I was....” He shrugged and started walking down the hall again, Bruce following like a puppy. 

“Tony, I’m sure he was just shocked.” 

“Can you please just be on my side, Bruce?” Tony shook his head and Bruce sped up to his side. 

“I am on your side.” He scowled, fumbling with his hands again. “I’m just trying to be logical about this.” 

“No, you’re being hopeful. I know better cause he’s my dad. He wasn’t just shocked. He was pissed.” Tony growled and took off down the hall, leaving Bruce in the dust. 

He stepped slowly to follow but looked up at the nearest clock. 

“My brother is waiting for you in the library.”

“Jesus!” Bruce jumped in the air and nearly fell onto the glossy floor as he turned to face Loki. The greasy and terrifying man was smiling at him in that smirky way, hands behind his back.

 "He asked me to come collect you. But it seems you were busy with whatever Tony was bitching about.” He gestured gently to the open space where Tony had been. Bruce would roll his eyes if he weren’t so afraid of the man. “Tsk, tsk, Banner. You should take this tutoring gig more seriously.” 

And with that, Loki elegantly walked right past him. Just like any other time they’ve interacted (Which was like twice), Bruce took that time to shake his body free of the chills he’d acquired. 

He quickly made his way to the library. 

              Thor was sitting atop one of the long tables in the library, legs curled into the criss-cross position to keep his book still. His pen dashed furiously across the paper as he attempted to finish the load of homework he’d completely forgotten about until this morning. 

He glanced up just in time to catch a glimpse of Bruce strolling in and his heart momentarily stopped. He was in no mood to get scolded today and if he could just finish the last two problems before he came over, he just might make the day without it. And if he was lucky enough, Bruce might beam at him again. 

Last Thursday had been the best fucking day of Thor’s life. Valkyrie had switched lunches with him, Loki had managed to make it the full day without getting into trouble and Bruce had given him the biggest grin when he reported back with an B in Chemistry. 

“Hey-”

“Bruce!” Thor happily greeted him, already scooting over to give him some room. Bruce awkwardly hopped onto the table next to him with much more hesitance. 

“I told you, I don’t think we’re allowed to sit here-”

Thor shoved his pen behind his ear and showed off his work. He watched while Bruce momentarily forgot his hang-up and slipped his glasses on to look over the papers. “This is good work, Thor. You’ve really improved. I told you that it was only a matter of time.” Bruce pulled back and wiggled the book in front of him. 

“Thanks...” Thor had come into this session with one goal and just because of one compliment, he was flustered into forgetting. He beamed back at Bruce and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t totally used to being on the other end of this. “But um...Y’know, I’m still struggling with uh-Math. So, I came back to the idea that it might be beneficial if I had the ability to contact you outside of school. Just to um, help y’know?” 

Thor tried his best not to embarrass himself but was finding it mighty difficult with Bruce staring up at him like a little puppy. 

“So, about that phone number-” 

Bruce swallowed and started playing with his hands. “I told you, I don’t know about that.” He shrugged and faded that off with a nervous chuckle. But upon seeing the way Thor’s face fell, he rushed to explain again. “This isn’t because I don’t like you, Thor. It’s just...we’re good like this, right?” He pushed his glasses back up his nose and gestured at the books between them. 

Thor nodded back, licking his lips. “Yes, of course we are.” He quickly put the smile back on his face and it wasn’t even a chore. Anytime he spent with Bruce was special to him. He wasn’t about to ruin that. He scooted closer and found that his buddy moved in as well, their laps now supporting the open Math book.

This was fine.  

                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valkyrie was having a pretty shitty day and the sight of a pouty looking Thor was going to be no help unless his problem was more interesting than her test crisis coming next period. She threw him a smile and leaned on her locker. “What’s the matter with you, big guy?” She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. Thor looked embarrassed which wasn’t such a common trait for him. “Is it Bruce again?” 

He deflated. “No.” 

“Convincing.” She shrugged and turned back to grab some of her junk, arm sliding painfully against some metal. “When are you going to tell him that you don’t actually need the tutoring?” 

Thor shrugged and that was answer enough. 

“How long have you known him Thor?” 

Her friend paused and shifted on his feet. “Basically since first grade but we only sort of became closer friends during Sophomore year.” 

She hummed. “I’ve only known him since the summer so I can’t give you much that you don’t already know, bud.” She shrugged. “But either he’s interested or he’s not...” She glanced over Thor’s shoulder as she thought on it. “I know Bruce is a little off-beat and...not the best at making decisions or voicing his entire opinion...and his crippling fear doesn’t help that....” 

her tongue clicked and Thor jumped like a man half his size. 

“Am I just freaking you out now?” 

“No....” 

She stared him down. 

“Ok, a little bit-actually-yes you are. A lot.” 

“Ooof.” Valkyrie smacked her palms together and slammed her locker door shut. “Maybe you shouldn’t come to me for advice then, huh?” She shook her head and began to try and walk off. 

She’d met Bruce over the Summer just before the big Senior year. He’d been working at her favorite, favorite Diner in town. It was one of the few Drive-In places left and man oh man, the burgers. Valkyrie licked her lips. 

Bruce new her order by heart within his first few days there and could have it whipped up in no-time if he knew she was coming. So she’d given him her phone number just for that purpose. Which, Bruce was incredibly reluctant and all twitchy about it until she clarified that she didn’t give a shit about anything other than just getting her burger a bit quicker. 

Somehow, Bruce just became her good buddy and through him, she met Thor just a couple days before school started. He was one of the few guys in Bruce’s ‘group’ that he introduced to her because; ‘I think you’d get along great with him! You actually remind me a bit of him.’

“Wait!” Thor suddenly came up next to her again and it was her turn to jump. 

“Shit, you scared the hell outta me!” She smacked his arm, hard. But Thor didn’t seem to mind at all. 

“I forgot the good news!” 

Disinterested again, she shoved one of her ear-buds into her ear and waited. “That scares me. What is it?” 

“I set up a date for you-” He held up a gentle hand when she opened her mouth with a grunt. “I know, I know-that last one kinda suck BUT...” He flashed a very charming grin. “I know the perfect girl and I know you’ll love her. I’m really excited about it.” He patted her gently on the shoulder and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t smooth a little at that last part. 

“What’s her name?”

“Jane. Jane Foster. She’s one of the smartest people I know and surprisingly strong-she slapped me this one time and it stung for like-” 

“Why did she slap you?” Valkyrie raised a brow but was getting an idea of how Thor might know this girl. 

“Well...” He scratched behind his neck and looked off at the posters behind her head. She kicked his shin. “Ow! Ok ok, she might be my ex-girlfriend.” 

Valkyrie sped up but he only chased her down again. 

“Wait! Valkyrie, trust me, Jane’s amazing. A good match for you, I think.” He waved his hand out and she shifted her weight to the other foot. 

“You’re asking me to trust your taste in woman?” 

Thor shrugged, puppy-dog eyes and all which had her blowing air between her gritted teeth. 

“Fine. Send me the details, you big sap.” With a roll of her eyes, she finally took off for class. 

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Friday Night}

“I think he had a fight with his old man or something. It doesn’t feel right to tell you this.” Bucky shook his head and stared at Tony from over Steve’s shoulder. The boy was curled over the ticket booth with the most miserable expression on his face. He’d had that same dead look since their last shift together on Tuesday. Plus, ticket service sucked so that probably wasn’t helping him any. 

Steve hummed into his palm and slid a couple bucks over the counter for his usual movie snack. Bucky thumbed with it a little and danced his fingers across the green. “Do you think...?-” His friend trailed off and he tried not to roll his eyes but it was getting way too difficult these days when it came to this dramatic bullshit. 

“That he likes you?” He whistled, throwing a red cup into the air. It flipped against the glaring yellow lights and landed perfectly in his hand. Cola spilled effortlessly from the machine and bounced a little of the lip of the cup, Bucky licked it off his finger. “Yeah. He does. And I know this because he’s so fucking obvious and basically told me so.” 

Steve’s eyes lit up like they always did at the idea but there was no follow-through of belief. Just sadness. Damn. 

“Well from what I gathered from you, Tony hates you.” Steve started and Bucky nodded. 

“And I hate him too.” he snapped his fingers over his shoulder and shoveled popcorn with his spare. 

“-So I doubt that he talks to you about feelings.” 

“You’re right, he doesn’t. But-” He poked the tiny metal shovel into his friends cheek, giving him a impermanent dimple. “He doesn’t explicitly have to. It’s all on his face every-time you come in. Which, is so damn obvious too Steve, you have no idea.” 

“If it’s so obvious than Tony must have picked up on it and he hasn’t made a move sooooo....” 

“Now you’re just being difficult which I hate so...” He wiggled his hand out. “Go see your stupid movie.” He turned away only to have Steve reached out and pull him back. 

“Has he said anything about me?” 

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky would slap Steve if he wasn’t his best friend-’actually.’ 

Bucky reached out and gently slapped him. “Here, this shouldn’t be too difficult even for a punk like you.” He ignored the fake hurt puppy look and slammed a pen and napkin down onto the glittery counter. “Phone number goes there.” He pointed. “And you can slip it to him on your way to the movie room.” 

Steve sighed and rubbed his palm down to his chin. 

“Hop to it, soldier.” He winked and turned on his best friend. 

There was some shuffling and lingering as far as Bucky could guess from his hearing. He heard the pen drag across the flaky napkin and then footsteps. For a moment, he let himself celebrate a victory. 

He turned on his heels only to find the napkin still sitting on the counter. It was decorated with a small drawing of Bucky standing next to the popcorn machine which was overflowing, sending the snack everywhere. Little pieces of Steve’s hand-drawn popcorn fluff littered the paper and Bucky felt like a fool for believing Steve would actually go for it. 

He scoffed and shoved the paper into his pocket before going back to work.

And he made it through about 17 flawless minutes of restocking the candy shelves when he felt Tony’s presence at the head of the counter. “Hey asshole. What do you want?” He mumbled, scooting a bit on the glossy floor so he could look at him. 

Tony was slouching over the red strip of glittery hell, forearms pressing heavily into the counter and wearing a painfully obvious look of drowsiness. His visor was in his hand rather than burrowed somewhere in his flippy hair. That was Del Costa’s least favorite thing to see of his employees, not that either of them took that to heart. Del was a grumpy little old man with soft eyes for a few employees which just happened to include them. 

“I’m gonna walk out the door, right now. I swear to God.” He rubbed his face and Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“You go ahead and do that. Dare ya.” He scoffed and stood to continue his busy work. They were having an very slow Friday night and he blamed the shitty movies that were currently out. That and the fact that the place was tiny and not too far from a much larger theater that was in the next town over. 

“I would and you know it.” 

Bucky shrugged. “I honestly don’t care and it’d probably make my life a lot easier if you weren’t here so...” He waved his hand towards the double doors and gave him a smug smile and Tony immediately responded by throwing his visor at him. “Why are you so miserable anyway? It’d drag me down if I wasn’t in such a good mood.” He emphasized that just to rub it in a little before lifting Tony’s arms to swipe the cleaning rag under him. 

He held Tony’s arms at the wrists and scrubbed the counter which didn’t even seem to bother him. Instead, Tony went completely boneless and allowed the action with ease. “What’s with that good mood anyway, Hot Topic? It’s freakin’ me out.” He wiggled his fingers and Bucky dropped his hands, they slammed down. 

“I can’t just be in a good mood?” He rolled his eyes. 

“I’ve literally never seen you smile the entire time that I’ve known you, and you’ve done it at least ten times today.” Tony pursed his lips in thought. 

“Get back to work before Mr. Costa sees you.” Bucky tipped his chin towards the incoming group of customers and Tony sighed dramatically. 

“Whatever. I’ll get it out of you sooner or later.” He threw a wink and wandered off, the picture of misery. That was of course until he hit the half-way mark and turned on a flirty smile. If Tony was in the mood for it, he could really play the part of a happy worker well. Even if he was just about quit. Bucky could never even attempt that. Hiding his irritation was one of his weakest points these days. 

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, you weren’t at your post. Bucky said you were....” Steve paused mid-sentence as he came down the concrete steps. His index finger was lazily slipped into the small bag of popcorn which he had to admit was a bad idea. 

His finger was greased, making his skin filmy and liable to have something slip through. When Tony flung his head his way, Steve suddenly plunged his finger deeper inside like the crisis of spilled popcorn was the most important thing in the world right now.  

Tony was gripping his phone with such intensity that his fingers were curling over the screen and it almost looked as if he were trying to crush the damn thing. “Hey, something I can do for you?” he scratched behind his ear and looked frazzled. Which, in truth, wasn’t that uncommon. 

The flashy lights from the gigantic sign were reflecting nicely into Tony’s warm brown eyes and Steve found himself frazzled now. Tony moved, coming to lean on the blue railing just a few steps down from him. This was the moment that he realized Tony had changed out of his work shirt and was sporting his regular work jeans but with a band t-shirt that was...-'For the love of all that is good and pure in this world, it’s cropped’ and in that lazy casual way that made him want to tilt his head for a better look.  

‘Never seen that much of his skin before...God, was that a dumb thought’. Steve would kick himself if he weren’t standing right there. He’d never seen Tony in a get-up like that before. Not that he stereotyped him but Tony was quite the little...nerd. 

“Chicks dig it.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows and Steve rolled his eyes out of habit. “I spilled-no, your friend ‘spilled’ a large soda on me like ten minutes before my shift ended.” He scowled, looking back towards the building over Steve’s shoulder. The retro blue and red lighting now framing his jawline. “So how was your movie?” 

Tony topped that off with one of those closed mouth smiles that made Steve’s knees weak. 

“Good, good.” he mumbled. “A little much but...that’s kinda what every movie is like these days.” The shrug rolled off his shoulders like 2nd nature. 

“You don’t seem to be that picky these days. You come in just about every other day.” Tony chuckled and swiped his hand under his nose just as fast as the chill that passed through the air. “Your film of choice this time was one of those action flicks. The saucy criminal couple running from the cops and having the best sex of their lives....gotta love it.” His grin widened and Steve was far too nervous. 

“Yeah. There was a surprising amount of layers to it though-”

Tony snorted but he ignored it. 

“Really. The main girl, Natalie, had this whole side story-line about her broken family. It was actually done very well. There was this one scene that-” He felt a tangent coming on but was shortly interrupted by Tony shoving his hands into his pockets.  

“You must’ve really enjoyed it then, huh? You gonna spare me the details?” The skin around the bridge of his nose crinkled with that snide comment. 

Steve bit his lip, not sure what he’d said wrong. 

“I forgot my jacket. But I’ll see ya next time?” He thumped Steve’s shoulder and jogged back into the theater, leaving him confused and with a lot to think about on his ride home. 

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~

“-I thought you said that he doesn’t really watch these movies?” Tony shot up, completely out of nowhere. Bucky would have jumped if he weren’t used to that shit. 

Again with the eye-rolling but he couldn’t help it. “He doesn’t.”

“Well, he was basically spoiling the entire plot of this movie that he really seemed enthused about watching.” Tony shrugged, like he knew it was a stupid thing to complain about and was already embarrassed about it. 

"His whole world isn’t about you, Tony. He just came out of the theater so of course he’s talking about it. Steve likes to share-and hey, where’s the rest of your shirt?” Bucky teased as he turned to find the guy’s midriff exposed more so than usual. 

Tony looked less than impressed and turned away, eyes drifting towards the glass doors where he could spot Steve’s car driving off. A sigh escaped his lips and Bucky wanted to scream. 

“Did I ruin that good mood?” he edged off into a new subject and Bucky would be glad for it if the new one didn’t involve himself. 

“No.” Was all he intended to say but Tony very clearly wouldn’t be letting it go any time soon. He should have left around twenty minutes ago but here he was, leaning up against the counter like a patient customer. Damn, they needed more of those these days. 

“Come on, tell Daddy what it is.” He wiggled his fingers for a few seconds and his shadow glazed over the counter. 

“I hate that nickname.” He scowled. Tony had been using that for nearly his entire work career at the Horizon Theater and he’d be lying if he said it hadn’t slipped out of his mouth a few times just from hearing it so often. “And please leave before Mr. Costa kicks you out.” 

Tony only gave him a pleading look. 

“Fuck you.” He chuckled because although he was irritated, he’d been dying to tell someone about this all day. He licked his lips and turned his chin down to the counter to stare at the individual glitter pieces behind the glass. “Um...-” shoving some hair behind his ear, he tried not to get embarrassed. “My boyfriend told me he loved me today.” The tone he used was very clearly trying way too hard to come across as indifferent. But his heart was pounding when he thought about it again. 

Tony stepped back, looking impressed. “Wow. Big step.” He nodded but added a small frown. 

“Oh you’re jealous, huh?” Bucky was going to seize anything that would turn the attention off himself.

“Why would I be jealous of your imaginary relationship, Barnes?” 

Bucky slapped his arm but before the fight could really start- 

“Boys!” 

They both jumped this time and from their far right, Mr. Costa strolled over with a large smile. He was a tiny old man who almost looked like he was being swallowed by the dark hallway. He opened his arms and slapped a hand onto Tony’s back. “Why are you still in my theater?” 

“Well I was just-” He lifted his hand only to have Mr. Costa lower it for him.

“You’re off the clock, go home and leave my worker alone, huh?” He grinned with genuine cheer and Tony sighed but turned to leave. 

But not without giving Bucky the finger and yelling a loud goodbye to both of them. Mr. Costa waved back and leaned his bent elbow on the counter. “So, how are we doing today?” 

Bucky rolled his lips together. “Fairly well. Better than last Friday. It’s a real gas here tonight.” He tipped his chin to the small crowd of teens leaving theater 1.

He was rewarded with the nod of acceptance that Mr. Costa was the best at giving. Bucky took in the fact that he was making casual conversation. “Not here to bust my chops, huh sir? What’s your ulterior motive?” He asked, refilling the tiny cup of soda he was allowed. 

“Bust my chops...” He repeated with a shake of his head. “That’s why I like ya, son. Talk just like me.” His hand swiped down his mouth and Bucky grinned. “You tell your little friends about that deal we’re offering soon-on the tickets?” 

Bucky’s shoulders dropped just the slightest at Del’s soft tone. “Yeah-yeah I did, sir. I spread the word.” He took a long sip of the fizzy, burning pop. “I’m sure business will be booming soon.” 

Del Costa nodded once more and gently laid a hand atop Bucky’s before he wandered off, mumbling to himself about the things he had to remember. As he headed over to where the ticket guys were, Bucky let out a long breath. 

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Monday Morning} 

“I honestly just don’t get it.” 

Loki quirked his brow from over Thor’s shoulder and if he wasn’t so happy that his brother was enjoying his company at school for the first time in ages, Thor might’ve shoved his elbow into his stomach. 

What he actually did was groan as he turned to his locker once more. 

“I’m just saying...that guy, really?” Loki pointed with his chin to where Bruce was chatting happily with Valkyrie. He seemed rather enthusiastic as he made some explosive gesture that almost had him fall backwards. He had such a habit of stumbling over his own feet...

Thor grinned impossibly wide. “Yes.” 

“Why?-You know what actually never-mind-” 

Though Loki had changed his mind and was already starting to walk off because he remembered exactly the type of person his brother was, Thor launched into it. “He’s the most...genuine person that I’ve ever known.” His voice turned small and earnest. “He always gives me the best advice, he’s so smart and.....” 

Thor trailed off as Bruce made another gesture that had him bouncing like an excitable puppy. Instead of finishing his sentence, Thor just threw Loki another grin and happily bounded over to his friends. 

Valkyrie smiled at the way Bruce perked up with the added company. “Hey, big guy.” She glanced over her shoulder to where Loki was lingering. Looking a little awkward as he hovered. “What’s up, moody?” She reached over to smack the dude’s arm. 

Loki rolled his eyes but didn’t miss the way Thor’s lit up at the idea of him getting along with his little friend-group. He gave the girl a small smile though he wasn’t entirely sure he could pull off the friendly kind. 

“I’m gonna grab my books from my locker-” Valkyrie tried to throw Loki a hint to make himself scarce as well so the two idiots might have a shot in explaining their feelings. But she wasn’t sure he’d care that much. 

She was about to push past him when Bruce grabbed her arm excitedly. “Hey! Wait, you gotta tell Thor the good news!” 

“Ooooh, what is it?” 

‘Oh, if they only knew what she was trying to give them’. She frowned, letting her arms fall limply in front of her as she reluctantly turned. “It’s nothing. Now if you don’t mind-wait a minute-I don’t care if you mind. I’m leaving-” 

Valkyrie tried to escape again only to have Thor reach out for arm again. 

“Oh come on, you have to tell me now.” Thor demanded and she decided she might as well give up. 

Valkyrie turned and gave Bruce a heated glare before she spoke again. “I had my date with Jane on Friday-” 

Thor lit up. “Oh yes, yes. How did it go?” He gently pat her arms. 

She must’ve accidentally let a smile through there because Thor looked positively excited as he shook her arms. “Good. Great-” She rolled her eyes when the blonde lit up again. “It was fine. Now I’m gonna go-” 

“Wait! Tell him the best part!” Bruce slapped her arm lightly. 

She sighed and collected herself to look at Thor’s happy little face. “We’ve got a second date-But, don’t let this go to your head. I don’t want you thinking you’re the perfect matchmaker.” She shook her finger in his face. 

“But I so obviously am the best.” Thor dropped her arms and spread his own out with a wide grin. She tried not to laugh at the way Loki stepped back to avoid getting hit like it was second nature to him. “I told you that Jane was great for you!” 

Valkyrie pursed her lips. “Uh-huh, you also set me up on four other dates that were...” She wiggled her palm “Not the best.” 

“Well, I was just excited.” He shrugged. “Fifth times a charm, huh?” He reached out once more but she only threw him one last smirk before taking off down the hall. She may or may not be on her way to find Jane’s locker. 

Once she was off, Loki decided that he was done as well and glided away with that elegance of his. 

The air softened from the noisy laughs of their classmates nearby and was suddenly very quiet. Thor spun on his heels to face his much tinier friend but found himself (yet again) extremely and uncommonly nervous. Bruce, though small and nowhere near intimidating, could send him into such a dazed state. 

The light above Mr. Hammonds English class door was flickering as it always would. It shined in Bruce’s eyes each time it caught on again. 

“What-um...what’s your first period again?” Bruce did that nervous tick again (the scratch behind his ear) and bounced his weight from leg to leg. 

“Astronomy.” Thor grinned just thinking about that class. It never failed to keep him interested. “-We just had this whole project about whether we believed in life outside of Earth...” He shoved his hands into his pockets to avoid making more large gestures but the smile was just going to stay-put. “We got assigned a side that we had to defend, right? So luckily, I got the correct side.” 

Bruce nodded, happily listening though he hadn’t really asked for all this information. “That there is life?” 

“Yes, of course. Don’t you think so?”

“Yeah-Yes, I do.” Bruce shrugged. “There’s no way that we’re alone in the universe, that’d be a very...ignorant way of thinking.” He pushed his little glasses up the bridge of his nose. This had been one of his late night discussion topics with Tony just some weeks ago when he’d stayed the night to work on some designs for his father’s company. 

Thor’s smile got brighter which didn’t seem possible. But Bruce only loosened his own smile to a very-near frown. 

“I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that, Thor.”

That sentence stunned the blonde for a moment. “What’s wrong with the way I look at you?” 

Bruce blushed though he tried to hide it. “It’s like...-” He took in some air. “I dunno...like you got real feelings...” ‘For me’ was implied but Thor knew Bruce well enough by now to know that he was far too embarrassed to say something like that.

“I do. Have I not made my feelings clear enough?” He was genuinely baffled. Thor made no attempt to hide anything he felt. He’d asked Bruce multiple times to hang-out past school, complimented him, and tried to get his number at least four times now. 

“I know that you-...well, I know you’ve said that you...” Bruce sighed, tilting his chin up to Mr. Hammonds light. “Might wanna ‘hang-out’ but...I don’t think that’s the type of thing I’m cut out for.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I just mean...a relationship with you-which isn’t an insult Thor. I would never say something to hurt you.” Bruce quickly rushed over to pat the guy’s chest. He could be so oddly touchy-feely without noticing even when discussing something like this. “We just don’t...-We’re very different people.” 

Thor licked his lips and nodded. “I think we’re more similar than you think. Like all the times we get sidetracked in conversation when you help me study. During tutoring? And we’ve become so...in sync. You really helped me out when I was having my family issues, we don’t mind when the other goes off a long ramble about a topic, we make each other laugh....and even Loki likes you, not that he’d say so-” 

“He does?” 

“Oh yeah, he said that you amuse him. Which, is a compliment for Loki at least.” Thor shrugged. “Anyway, I think that if you gave me a shot, you might feel something?” He pawed at his hands as his nerves rose from his stomach to his chest. 

“I dunno, Thor-” 

“That’s ok. You don’t have to say yes. You don’t even have to give me an answer at all. I reassure you, I’m fine with just friends as long as I get to be around you.” Thor gently pat down on Bruce’s shoulder. 

Bruce looked down at Thor’s hand and became lost in his own head. Overthinking. He was especially good at that. 

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Monday Night} 

Bucky was being particularly insufferable. Tony was doing his best to give the guy the benefit of the doubt because he’d done his fair share on the other side. And Bucky may have complained but he always allowed Tony to have his little rants and such. 

But Bucky was just parading around with the hardest looking frown that Tony had ever seen. It was very scary when a customer approached he just switched the damn thing to a bright grin with such speed that it knocked the wind outta Tony. 

Plus, Bucky could be a little destructive when he was angry though he suspected it wasn’t totally on purpose. It just seemed to be on those kinda days where the guy would run into displays and knock them over. His mumbled swears could be heard from the other side of the counter but almost nowhere else in the place. Just his luck. 

“Hey, what’s the matter with you?” Tony gently pinched his arm only to get slapped away. 

“Nothing just-Oh shit. No way.” Bucky’s eyes widened as he raised his arms in mock defeat. Tony stepped back and craned his neck to see what the guy was so suddenly worked up about. 

Walking up to the counter was a harmless looking guy around their age with a smirk on his face. “Hey, Buck.” 

“I’m don’t have the strength for this guy today. Nope. Tony, you take care of him.” Bucky shook his head and turned away. Honestly, Tony sprinted to the counter because he’d had enough of angry Bucky today. 

As Tony rung up the guy’s choice of two hot-dogs, he and Bucky seemed to communicate over his shoulders. He could tell by the way the man lazily shot up the finger with a glowing smirk. Bucky’s groan was loud and full. 

Tony wanted to get in the middle of the drama immediately, planning to bother Bucky about it as soon as the dude left. 

The guy collected his little paper trays of greasy food but instead of walking off to either of the hallways of theater rooms, he smoothly glided around the red counter. He kept a dog in hand but slid the other across the glitter to Bucky’s waiting hand. 

Tony couldn’t help but wave his hand with confusion from his place far across the wide circled counter. 

The brunette smiled, the first genuine kind of the day, and mumbled a thank you that was kinda muffled against the other guy’s cheek in a greeting kiss. 

“Well I’ll be Damned! You weren’t lying.” Tony chuckled but he was either too far away or the two idiots were too far off in their own land. He suspected it was the second because the counter was nowhere near that large plus he could delightfully hear everything they said, if he listened carefully. 

“I’m picking you up after work today at nine, right?” 

Bucky nodded with a small hum as his mouth curled around the hot-dog. The guy watched Tony’s co-worker with an amused yet maybe aroused kind of smile. “Seriously, this is hot to you, Sam?” Bucky chuckled, swallowing his mouthful before sticking his finger in his mouth and sliding it back out with a pop. 

Sam licked his lips but rolled his eyes. “You’re an asshole, you know that right?” 

Bucky nodded and gently smacked Sam’s cheek. “You love it. Where are we going?” 

Sam took a quick bite of his food and looked off towards the front doors. “That is for me to know and for you to find out later.” The comment ended with him poking his finger into Bucky’s arm. 

Tony hadn’t ever seen his co-worker so ok with being touchy-feely. In fact, he seemed more than just ok with it.

Bucky wasn’t even hesitant about snatching Sam’s hands away from his hot-dog and curling their fingers together, elbows resting on the counter as they swayed. “So you don’t know what we’re doing, that’s what you mean. Right?” 

An annoyed sigh broke free from his partners mouth. “I have plans. I always have plans. You’re the one who just makes date night up as you go along.” He pointed one of his fingers to the best of his ability with Bucky’s gripped nearby. 

Sam pulled away slightly but gave Bucky’s hands one more playful squeeze. “Anyway, I gotta go but I’ll see you later. Love ya, B.” He quickly gave Bucky a kiss on the cheek and started to let go his hands. 

“Love you too.” Bucky’s response was far more mumbled and shy than Sam’s. Tony figured that he might even be blushing from the way he tried to linger their grip as Sam took off with his own hot-dog. 

With Sam gone, Tony slid his way over with the biggest smirk. 

“Shut-up, Tony.” 

“I haven’t even said anything.” 

“Keep it that way.” Bucky shoved past him and began his routine with the broken butter dispenser. It had been funny for the first half of their shift but now it was just sad. 

“That’s pointless and you know it.” Tony rolled his eyes and shoved Bucky away with his hip and finally got his hands on the machine. “Listen, I won’t say much but...that soft little ‘I love you’ was a new side of cute for you.” 

Bucky growled. “Stop talking.” 

“Are you embarrassed?” Tony teased, turning around to face him. “What was with that stunt show, anyway? I thought you hated the guy when he walked in. You managed to fool even me.” His arms crossed. 

“It’s just something we do.” Bucky shrugged, not knowing how else to explain it. The thing he had with Sam was so unlike any other relationship he’d ever experienced and he’d like to keep the details to himself. So, he would just have to do what he does best. Which was deal with his annoying co-worker in the only way possible, shift the attention away from himself and onto Tony. 

“You’re just jealous cause you’re alone and sad.” He mocked a pout and flipped one of the flimsy red & gold cups in the air. “-And don’t you dare get all mopey about it cause you sure as hell could do something about it but you don’t.” He spoke just before Tony could open his mouth to complain and smacked the cup mid-air to whack him. 

The empty theater memorabilia bounced off his head and thumped against the glossy floor with a satisfying hollow pop. 

Tony didn’t seem to have any more energy left as he stared at it for a solid thirty seconds of silence before walking off. Defeat caved his back in slightly and slouched his stance as he went off to bother someone else. 

Bucky felt conflicted but decided to look forward to his own date night rather than take on Tony’s issue just yet.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony was equal parts excited and horribly confused when Bruce Banner rolled into the theater, alone and on a Monday night. His brows shot into the air and hid behind his falling strands of brunette hair. 

Bruce approached with slow caution and with his usual confused expression. “I thought you didn’t work Monday nights?” 

“I always work Monday nights, genius.” Tony chuckled and fiddled with his fingers. 

“Oh shit.” Bruce smacked his forehead and began to rub his fingers against it with intensity.  

“Woah, woah-buddy.” Tony wagged his hands around. “Why were you trying to avoid me? Is it about our last conversation because I’ve been meaning to talk to you-” 

“No, no. It’s not that, Tony!” He interrupted his friend with a genuinely kind grin. “You know that you can always talk to me about your problems with your dad, right? I didn’t mean to make you think that I was on ‘his side’. I was just trying-” 

Tony felt that familiar rush of embarrassment that came with talking openly about his problems but he smiled. “I know, Bruce-baby.” He reached out to pinch his cheek and got smacked away. Bruce’s face begged him to actually be serious. “I know. I’m thankful.” The tiny towel flung with his hand gestures. 

“Anyway, I’m surprised that you left your house. Why is Bruce Banner showing up to the theater? And alone?” 

Bruce opened his mouth but never got the chance to speak because a happy looking blonde darted up behind him from the direction of the ticket stand. 

‘Thor?’

“Thor?” Tony was beyond confused now and Bruce had taken to hiding his face in his hands when the blonde bounded over. 

“Stark!” Thor tipped his chin in greeting. 

Tony had basically known the same group of guys since he was little. First grade was when he palled around with Bruce, Thor, Clint, Natasha and Steve. They were each others ‘classroom’ friends. 

Tony had Rhodey, who was his best friend that got put into a different class.

Steve talked about his best friend Bucky nearly every day who had tragically gone to a different school. 

Thor used to just talk to everybody. 

Clint & Natasha had been the only two ‘real’ friends in that group. They were scary. Like twins. Tony got chills just thinking about it. 

Since the 1st grade, they had all just grown-up around each other & in the same schools. Some stayed kinda close and others didn’t. Tony wasn’t bitter about any of it, not at all. 

He had not been aware that Bruce was even regularly speaking to Thor again. 

“Oh wow.” He blinked slowly and habitually started preparing the usual snacks ordered by their customers. Two sodas and a large popcorn. “What are the two of you doing here tonight?” He attempted to throw Bruce an amused look but the guy was too embarrassed to make eye contact. 

“We’re on a date!” 

Tony nearly choked. 

Thor’s voice was laced with excitement until he glanced down at his partner. “Unless...you didn’t want to call it that-because then of course, we’re just hanging out or..?-” 

Bruce tried to be subtle about the way he tugged gently on Thor’s sleeve but Tony was just able to catch it. “No-um....yes-yeah.” Bruce struggled through his words at first but finally glanced up. “We’re on a date.” 

Tony would literally applaud Bruce on his ability to overcome his habit of anxiety over such things but he didn’t think Bruce would like that very much. 

“Why don’t you go get our seats and I’ll bring back the snacks?” Bruce tugged on Thor’s sleeve again and the big dork nodded, patting his friends arm as he left. 

When the blonde was a good distance away, Tony leaned over and shook his friend by the shoulders. “Look at you! Wow. I’m so proud...yet so...” He leaned back with his arms crossed “Jealous.” 

His friend blushed and slapped his hand against his cheek to cover it. 

“And not to mention, confused?” He added. 

“I’ve been tutoring Thor.” Bruce tried to clarify. “Since the end of Junior year.” 

“Why didn’t I know this?” 

“I don’t know! I just didn’t...-I...” He shrugged. “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal but then Thor...” He looked in the direction the guy took off in. “Well, he’s expressed an interest in...me?” 

“Don’t sound so confused Bruce. You’re a catch.” Tony winked but tried to get his point across with honesty. “I can’t say this hasn’t completely thrown me off but don’t sell yourself short. You’re a great guy. Hell, I would’ve dated you Freshman year if you asked.”

Bruce rolled his eyes and stole a piece of popcorn from the container Tony slid over. “That’d be a disastrous relationship.” He chuckled and Tony pretended he was offended. “I just don’t know.” Bruce laid his chin in his hand and sighed. 

“You’re on a date with a wonderful, blonde, jock. who seems to really like you. Just enjoy it.” Tony thought it best not to let his bitterness drip into his tone at all.

Bruce shrugged.  “How are you doing?” 

‘Typical of him to switch subjects’. Tony didn’t feel like masquerading with dramatics, so he gave an honest sigh. “It is what it is, Bruce. The old man...” His sentence faded into a far off thought while his hand hung loosely in the air. “Will be here to pick me up after my shift and for the first time in a long time...I don’t even feel like gettin’ his goat. I’m too tired to argue tonight.” 

Bruce’s face suggested that he wanted to talk some more but it also expressed a loud eagerness to return to Thor. So, Tony shoved the snacks over and cracked a small smile. 

“Enjoy your date.” 

Bruce wandered off with a mixture of emotions brewing but that was nothing new. ‘God, just hope the guy lets go and has some fun.’ Tony wished Bruce well but couldn’t help but feel hopelessly jealous that everyone seemed to be getting into a relationship but him. 

The blonde jock that he had his eyes on was never going to make a move. 

Life sucked.