#i wonder if people will be sad over this
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Just talking with an old friend.
#i love this quote so much i needed to draw this out but my mind said i should also animate it#it took two days#osomatsu san#osomatsu-san#mr. osomatsu#karamatsu#karamatsu matsuno#18!Karamatsu#animation#animatic#anime#the boy the mole the fox and the horse#reference#i wonder if people will be sad over this#i picture it like this is a conversation after the events of the movie#where its after they get their photo with Takahashi and Karamatsu gets to really sit with his younger self and reflect#fanart#my art
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#kim kitsuragi#harrier du bois#harry du bois#this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game...#sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy?#comics#comic art#trans#cw blood#blood#cw smoking#my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao#ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name#im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too#cause its a *seolite* name#another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian#and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too#i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas?#im definitely *not* projecting haha#i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young#10/10 fic made me cry#thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise#he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over#sorry for rambling#my art
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even though i know the leverage team gets back together as soon as season 2 starts and we barely see any time of them being apart, it makes me unreasonably upset that they not only spent six months apart, but that they didn't know they'd all join back up eventually!! like wdym hardison spent months trying and failing to track down parker?? wdym parker gained a family and then spent half a year alone again?? wdym eliot had found a way to do some good or have some kind of purpose until it was suddenly over?? wdym nate & sophie had finally caught up with each other but came to realize that neither of them were in a place to have that relationship and spent months not knowing if that had been their last chance??
#leverage#leverageposting#especially parker and hardison. i get sad thinking about how she had adapted to maybe finally having people and then it was over#only for 6mo but as far as she knew it was probably forever#and then for hardison like. trying to track her down and failing. desperately trying to figure out how to find her. wondering if shes upset#that he hasnt contacted her. but also wondering if maybe she doesnt want to be found. maybe shes over him? maybe shes gone.#sophie at least evidently spent some of that time devising a way to get the team back together (and putting on a play)#the fact sophie managed to get an invite to parker while hardison couldnt find her is funny tho. i imagine soph had a different strategy.#trying to track her down means always being a step behind. id like to think soph instead predicted where parker *would* be.#wherever the shiniest thing to steal is. or that she set up a whole grift to both steal from a museum herself but also to entice parker to#steal from the museum and find a note hidden in the back of the most theft-worthy painting etc. idk.#but anyway hardison also looked so sad in the stork job when they briefly thought parker had run off ('trust me she is gone' 'whos gone?')#so actually losing her for 6mo + assuming it was probably forever is SO SAD#and parker not having her 'more than a team' team OW OUCH IM IN PAIN
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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight
#radio rambles#i should go to bed but. it is on the mind#isat spoilers#<- for the . wall of tags to come#imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be#i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat#and probably the intention#but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ‘do u hc this character as a system’ post abt siffrin#and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF#it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young#splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdp’s whole thing#a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone#many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family#mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to#a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared#its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it#uhm. ok well#so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery#now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and#wow christ im upset#also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics here….. sillies…..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body#the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair#think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace#SPEAKING OF LOOP#i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well#and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf#im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT#thinking. always thinking
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I hate that I have reoccurring themes in everything I make. YES this guy has a complex over the fact that everyone prefers his sibling AGAIN. YES he was ostracized by his peers since he was in primary school and never knew why until years later. URGH
#i dont know why the siblings thing ends up coming up as often as it does (read: i know exactly why) but uuurggh#do you ever. have an inside joke with your sibling that your abusive dad prefers you over them and it's so established it's casual banter#but everyone you've ever tried to be sincere with (your mother; your peers) have consistantly preferred your sibling over you#even your own friends and kids who were closer to your age range than theirs#do you ever have a conversation with your best friend where they tell you that at first they didn't want to be friends with you#because you were ''too Weird''#do you ever get praised by a friend who says she envied you in middle school because you ''never cared about being different''#meanwhile you had no idea you were different and just couldn't fucking fix it#it took me that to understand that people avoided me because i was Weird. i thought the reason i had no friends was bc i was shy#that and the fact that i Didnt Know What Was Socially Acceptable Or Not and other kids were scared of me bc i was ''to blunt''#i have learned to value honesty over nearly everything else but that's only because i wish everyone else did the same.#literally everything i write has a main protagonist with low to no emotional empathy. like. ok#every character i write has that thing where they always felt like they were a monster for not feeling the right things. mh#i wonder how that might reflect on how my whole world came crashing down once i realised emotional empathy is A Real Thing#and not just a lie people made up for virtue signaling#''there's no way people /literally/ feel sad /for/ other people. they just know rationally that it's bad'' deep sigh.#anyway thats why i will never shut up about the fact that empathy is morally neutral and not a prerequisite for being a ''''good person''''#emotions are morally neutral. thats why we say all emotions are valid. thats why thought crimes aren't real#in short: you will pry human!au no empathy janus and autistic remus from my cold dead hands#i have. so many fucking thoughts.#janus is literally JUST like ME for REAL#except for the lying mostly because i !!! taught myself out of that#THE AMOUNT OF WORK I HAVE DONE ON MYSELF. I HAVE CLAWED MY WAY OUT OF THE TRENCHES OF MENTAL ILLNESS ON MY OWN AND I AM PROUD OF THAT#MAYBE it's because i can never open up to anyone ever BUT it's also because im SKILLED and SWAG and SELF-AWARE and THE BEST EVER. and MODEST#rant#the tag rambler strikes again . apologies
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i used to have a good friend whose entire personality was being a passive aggressive pleaser. this good friend took it personally the fact i didn't like their favourite novel so they read my favourite novel on x2 speed on youtube in order to tell me in the morning they didn't like it, as if i would change my mind about dostoevskij just 'cause someone who mocked me for liking dostoevskij for something like one year and a half by then said they didn't like a book. crazy.
#imagine to have a spine and allow yourself to have tastes outside people's approval#they also thought it was so cool to make fun of my interests and then turn them into their own personality and wondering why i didn't#appreciate this sort of behaviour (especially the making fun of me part)#anyway#wild is life#notes of a countryside dandy#also a fun fact: i was living in austria and got into a real bad depressive period for over a year but they found it funny and to this day#they still joke about being sad in austria?? ok
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im ngl i think my favorite headspace to be in is "want to be annoying"
#i am also really low energy today so i cant really do my normal expressions of it#(spam messaging Everyone i want to talk to at any given moments notice; sending random pictures/asks/etc to ppl)#but i also like. love being annoying. idc how others feel about it. there's something so wonderful to me about being such a nuisance to ppl#u like that they roll their eyes when you post your random thoughts AGAIN#there's something so lovely about pushing peoples buttons (within reason)#there's something just so fun about being ANNOYING!!!!!#ugh#i think it may genuinely be impossible for anyone to make me hate myself with mean words now#i think about it a lot and ppl can be really mean and it'd make me sad ofc if people were mean to me#butalso like#every person who is mean to me for silly reasons or bc they wanna take me in bad faith; every hateful thing thats been said to me - its all#jokes. my screen name on discord in a couple different servers is nicknames over stuff thats ACTUALLY been said to me#i think weirdly fondly of the man who yelled out to me on my birthday last year “fat bitch” fromhis car not bc he's a good man (fuck him)#but bc yeah that hurt my feelings alittlein the moment - and then after i was like wait why? i AM a fat bitch! its one of my favorite thing#and every time soemone hates something abt me i just kinda learn to love it out of spite#anyway all of this is 2 sy: mutuals if u read this im holdin my finger 2cm frm your cheek going “IM NOT TOUCHING U” & giggling abt it c:
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#feeling Sad#just thinking about the past 10+ years ive spent rping on here#and all the amazing writers ive seen coms and go#i very often think about people i wrote with many years ago and wonder what is going on in their lives#some i think have died which crushes me#idk im just getting sentimental and sad here#im wondering should i give up rping for good#its always felt like a guilty pleasure hobby that takes up all of my time#time that i should be spending on something more productive idk#this blog is hitting on 2 years old now which boggles my mind#maybe i should be giving rping a break#anyways rant over sorry guys gals and non binary pals#idk about abandoning this blog altogether yet im just ruminating#ooc
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it makes me SO sad that it’s hard to go through Samwise’s tags or find people for whom he is their favorite that don’t put down Frodo. I’m thankful that the number of those who truly understand him and love both him and who he struggles for is greater than it could be and has been in the past, but it’s still so heartbreaking to see, because I love Sam so dearly, and he’d never want this. It’s such a disrespect of Sam’s character to think that the only way to praise him is to undermine or insult Frodo. And it’s a disrespect to the narrative of Lord of the Rings as well. People constantly reference a cherry picked and out of context piece of a letter Tolkien wrote, desperately trying to claim that Sam is The Singular Hero of the story, when that wasn’t even remotely the context of the letter, yet its been used for years to undermine all the other characters of the series and erase the well rounded character Sam is to shave him into some one dimensional He-Man. Sam is undoubtedly one of the chief characters of the story, THE chief character of the story alongside Frodo. Without Sam the quest would not have been fulfilled. Yet Tolkien makes it clear that Sam could not have done Frodo’s job— especially not on his own. Just as the Ring broke down Frodo, it would have done for Sam— especially by the point of Mordor. That isn’t where Sam’s strength and value lies. It doesn’t lie in being the sacrifice. It lies in being the hope, the support, the utterly maddened loyalty and stubbornness and love that overcomes and strengthens. As I have come to say, Frodo carried the world, and Sam carried Frodo. People seem to think that as lesser, and I find that insulting. Would you find a friend that supported you in dark times lesser? Are they not your world in those moments? Do they not hold up the world for you yourself, as you struggle to carry the weight of it, and remind you that whatever suffering, you will never be abandoned or alone, even if both of you endure the fires of hell and no brightness shines through. It will not be alone. That is the beauty of Sam, and the people that treat that role as though it was not enough or that he should have had more on his plate show their lack of understanding of the very character they claim to praise.
#samwise gamgee#frodo baggins#I was just thinking this bc i realized I didn’t have as many Sam posts on my blog and I began to wonder why since he is one of my favorite#characters of all time#and then I remembered that I have learned to avoid diving directly into his tag without screening the poster first#because most of the content for Sam is just treating Frodo as a burden or useless or weak and Sam as though he had no weakness#and that always hurts because it’s such a disrespect and pity to two of the most wonderful characters ever written#to erase Sam’s struggles and faults and weakness is to reduce him and the very reason he is such an amazing person.#that Sam pushes through and becomes the hero he does despite his flaws and weakness is the very point#the fact that neither Frodo nor Sam could accomplish the quest without the other is the very point#putting down one over the other is such a gross simplification and misunderstanding of the text#and oh I am SO tired of the ‘Sam is the real hero Tolkien said so’ misinfo#I don’t know who started that whole thing but if I ever met them they would get a black eye or a lecture and maybe both#I’ve looked up that letter and it is not at all what people make it out to be.#the general group that spreads that shows they have zero critical thinking or reading comprehension or even media literacy.#it’s sad to see such a valuable story and lesson and narrative be bastardized and trampled on#I love Samwise so deeply. he is undoubtedly the reason Frodo makes it as far as he does#I am lucky to have friends like him. their worth cannot be measured.
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So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."
But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️
So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to
And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to
Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!
#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this#i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry!#i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc-#-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to#but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)-#and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult#and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back??????#we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro....#and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP#NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL#i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess#this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed#and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end)#but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ#he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT#not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ#i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider)#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts#duncan grimwater#im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us
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You know my life loves to orbit around inconveniences and I think it would be so funny if Veilguard was released on September 13th because that’s my brother’s wedding which I’m being forced to go to (I don’t like my brother and have no desire to go)
#I’m in the middle of my 20s my mother is still forcing me to do shit wow that’s kind of sad of me#ugh I just wanna know when it comes out#I also don’t want it on the third of September because that’s when I have to fly back to the states never to return to where I am now#September still count as summer doesn’t it???#Ideally for me it’s August 21st but that’s a month away and there’s no way they’re doing that#The 21st is also the 10 year anniversary of Inquisition#Which would be fun#ugh this sucks I wanted it to be before I have to move back in with other people#Selfishly I wanted after October 24th because that’s what my Visa expires#Even though I’ll already be in the states for several months at that point#it would make the move hurt less#sorry guys I’m rambling I’m sad right now#I really don’t want move back#Like it was rainy all day here and it was wonderful#You know what the weather was like in California? Over 100 fucking degrees fahrenheit#I’m going to be miserable#sorry sorry!! thank you if you read these tags
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Unpopular opinion: The ending of Mario Odyssey is amazing and one of the best Mario games endings.
First off, it’s hilarious. Between Mario being pushed out of the way, Peach low-key considering Bowser when he gives her flowers, Mario and Bowser fighting like idiots, their faces when Peach rejects them, Mario comforting Bowser, Peach trolling Mario with the Odyssey, Cappy and Tiara just watching the chaos unfold, all while there’s a music playing that doesn’t even sound like a Mario song... All of it is just so good!
Second, about the way Mario acts, it actually makes sense. Something random I noticed a while ago is that, when Mario and Bowser are shouldering each other, Bowser barely looks at Mario and remains focused on Peach, while Mario looks more pissed and glaces at him more than once. And in general, that’s the whole vibe of this scene. Bowser is still genuinely trying to court Peach, while Mario is instead fully focused on his rivalry with Bowser, completely forgetting to consider Peach’s feelings as a result. It was definitely a shitty move from Mario, but he’s not doing it to impress Peach, he’s doing it to one-up Bowser.
On that note, this scene is great because it helps in giving the headcanon of this game taking place very early on in the Mario timeline (or is that just me?), I’m talking a year and a half into Mario and Luigi being in this world. As a result, you could see Mario being a bit too caught up into the fantasy of being the hero saving the princess, and this game would give him a reality check. You could also imagine that, once they get back to the Mushroom Kingdom, he and Peach have a talk, basically starting their friendship all over again but this time on better terms, with Mario having no expectations of a romance and Peach being more open to him about who she is as a person rather than keeping up her royal appearances around him.
Third, I love that Peach is allowed to be angry at the situation. She has every right to say no. She doesn’t owe Mario a romantic relationship, especially when he’s acting exactly like her captor does. I especially like how we see her take a breath when she gets on the Odyssey before bringing her smile again. It shows that she’s still angry but willing to put it on the side for now.
This scene also shows what I talked about in previous posts with Peach being sassy in a playful way. It’s obvious she has no intentions of leaving Mario behind, but also she’s mad at him so she only calls for him after starting the Odyssey, forcing Mario to run and jump to get on. And she does it all with her usual smile, showing even more that it’s playful rather than petty.
Oh and for those worried about Bowser “being left behind”, he literally came to the Moon by airship, airship he spent the whole game in and that Mario never destroys in any way. He’ll be fine. I’ll be more concerned for all the kidnapped guests who have no way home and were inside the church when shit went down. Speaking of which, are the guests the characters looking at the Earth at the end? No because that also implies they don’t really have a way home unless the Toad Brigade helps them. Or the taxi.
#Super Mario#Super Mario Odyssey#Mario Mario#Princess Peach#Bowser Koopa#Flor talks#got thinking about this ending while working on a fic and felt the need to talk about it#I actually wonder if this is really an unpopular opinion#it feels like most of the people who dislike this ending are either shippers who are sad Mario got rejected#along with being disappointed in how he acted#or are this brand of gamers who just don’t like Peach’s character#or this minority of assholes who see her as an ‘ungrateful b’ bc god forbid women do anything#personally I love Peach taking the Odyssey and forcing Mario to make a run for it as a small revenge#she was so real for that#(intended on posting this in december but then I got sick)#(and then I kept pushing back posting things on my blog for over two months for literally no reason...again)#(gonna start posting and reblogging a bunch of stuff since I never use the queue thing; putting stuff in bookmarks instead)
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wish I could just let go of things but I can never!!
#this ks about the most silly thing#applied for this one job and i knew they had some automatic tests to do after#but i though theyd all be just like clicks and written answers#but theres a freaking video one :/ which i assume is to answer the questions#like why can't i fucking type it out!!! i dont want to record a freaking video into a freaking database when the odds of me getting picked#are low#like i know my complaints are very silly but yeah if i have to answer things out loud id rather actually do it over an interview... not me#recording and speaking to no one#and i could just ignore this shit and just ignore it as my app gets automatically declined bc i didn't do any of the assessments but i know#ill keep thinking about it and wondering and ughhhhhh i hate everything#the majority of the people doing this fucking shit did not go through this. they had it fucking easy#and now we have to suffer bc someone thought this was smart#im so tired of this i may genuinely try to ignore the job search until next year which does make me sad#like i want to get out of the not so good situation at home but at this rate that will never happen
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i know in OBT, damini is clearly the worse parent because she didn't even attempt to raise dielle and clearly sees her as a failure, and she wouldn't have been a good parent even if she stayed.... but damn it, the deviantart comments are so annoying about mateo that i'm this close to stanning her anyways. very epic of her to subvert gender roles by being the deadbeat dad. hashtag feminist icon.
#tbf it seems like other sites are more nuanced and sensible#but people on da straight up insist mateo did nothing wrong and even if he did do wrong... uwu its okay bc he has a broken heart#he couldnt helppppp but hit and neglect and abandon dielle because shes soooo out of control like her mommmmm#and hes just so saaaaaad... he did nothing wrong you guys he only fucked up bc his BITCH EX screwed him over.... hes a good boyyy :(#.... if i catch any of you saying that shit about bruno when we get to him....... it wont be pretty........#hate hate haaaate this attitude that shitty dads are given all the excuses in the world but shitty moms are not allowed to be nuanced#that one atla post that was like ''uwu bad moms are different from bad dads bc bad dads are normal but bad moms are UNIQUELY awful''#did so much damage to fandom discussion#tbc dielle's wish itself and obt are great about mateo. none of this is on woo herself. she did a great job at making him a nuanced#and tragic guy while still making him a good source of tension and hurt and trauma in dielle's life that still haunts her#this is exclusively frustration towards other comments that wont stop defending him and saying he did nothing wrong#hey i wonder why we're being much harsher on the female characters here than the male character who did the same thing. hm.#echoed voice#also having a sad reason for doing what you do isnt an excuse to be shitty to your kids. this is like. parenting 101 you guys
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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