#i wish there was the other three in it too esp bc we have barely gotten joe in any smfs era mv but it’s ok

[josephtrohman]

jimmy and pete should have kissed at the end of the music video

[ciderjacks]

and actually like does anyone else notice how any other bigoted comment that gets called out is like, something mildly insensitive or close minded, but for a sexist comment to be called out it has to be some dude saying something like "I think all women should go back to being second class citizens also if i could I would murder every bitch i see. males are biologically superior, the only use a female has is being bred to make more men." and even then EVEN THEN its like "yeah this comment is pretty sexist...and worse is it also holds some pretty racist and transphobic implications!" like explain that to me rq. y'all never Layer shit when its any other form of bigotry, you understand that just being racist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever else is already bad on its own.

like im not saying other forms of bigotry are less serious, what im saying is that sexism is the only one you guys let get this bad before even acknowledging it! have the same standards with sexism that you'd have with anything else! if you wouldnt tolerate something if it was about any other marginalized group, why are you tolerating it when its about women??

maybe its because properly acknowledging sexism means having to realize how many things you like are bigoted...How many people you look up to are bigots.

it’s odd how with every other kind of bigotry, when a famous person is called out its usually over like. a few shitty tweets from 2014. But when it comes to misogyny/sexism it’s always like “yeah uh so he sex trafficked multiple underage women, killed his girlfriend, and raped his elderly mother. He’s been openly saying he hates women for years now and his whole platform is about hating women, but we sort of thought it was funny so we didn’t pay attention to it. Oops! He is still sort of funny though haha” And the guy still gets more sympathy than an otherwise harmless celeb who made a homophobic joke on Twitter at age 12.

[squilliamtriker]

just saw beetlejuice 2 lol time to have thots about it

so first off overall it was fun. i enjoyed that they centered a lot of the plot around the guy played by the pedophile actor getting killed horribly. it was very funny and we had a good time.

that said, i think it would have been a lot tighter if they didn't have three separate villains happening. either they should have focused on rory/jeremy as being parallels for each other, the different ways men manipulate and emotionally abuse women, OR they should have done dolores alone. i wish they had done dolores alone and then she won i think she should have won. i was looking very respectfully the whole time

but with three of them they all ended up kind of weak, and i know this is a Silly Goofy Film so i probably shouldn't look so much into it but idk they could have all been a lot scarier if they weren't all vying for attention the entire time. i think rory was the most compelling villain mostly bc we got to see him the most lol, but even then in the end he was very...toothless. like he was soooo sinister and again the parallel with jeremy if rory had also been some kind of murderer, if he'd killed his first fiance rather than made her up and then went on the prowl for another vulnerable woman to manipulate/abuse/murder you know??? esp lydia bc if he'd married and then killed her he could have gotten sooooo much money for it, and while that's not the most original plot idk it would have given his villainy more Weight i think.

and in that vein i think jeremy could have been more layered too/could have had a more poignant death than he did, especially if astrid was involved instead of betelgeuse doing it by himself. like he talked about his parents being neglectful and potentially abusive but to have killed them the way he did was INTENSE like there had to be some INSANE shit going on, either in his house or in his head. plus it was kind of dumb to have his death be that he fell out of the treehouse while it was surrounded by cops lol. i know they wanted something that would be easy to hide but like. he could've shot himself in the head and then just wore a hat all the time. like there are more interesting ways he could have died or killed himself that were easy to hide.

and lastly dolores was like......she felt wasted here. they introduced the soul sucking thing and built her up and then she barely gets to do anything at the end. i wanted to know more!!! where did the soul sucking come from? could she still do it while alive? it's a known thing so are there more? why wasn't she allowed to eat betelgeuse that would have been great. she could turn anything she touched goth WHY WASN'T SHE THE MAIN VILLAIN !!!!! it just felt like other than her killing bob she was just kind of Around being Menacing and didn't really have any real impact on the story lol like if you cut her plotline entirely the movie would essentially be the same

anyway all that aside like i said it was very fun. i love willem dafoe. rory's fucked up therapy speak straight guy incel shit was well done, even if his ending was kinda meh. the richard reunion was sweet tho idk what this movie has against protestors lol there were so many jokes about protestors being stupid weirdos who end up basically killing themselves for no reason

[roobylavender]

Definitely don’t have to answer this BUT If you wish...

What’s one thing you think people get so wrong about Dick Grayson and his relationship to Bruce? What is your interpretation of him? Should Dick work away from the Batfamily or it is it where he needs to be?

ok. continued saga of me saying i will be brief and being a blatant liar instead

if you migrated over here from my old account you'll know i'm not really in camp with most fans when it comes to their relationship. as i mentioned in the jason ask i pretty much stopped contending with canon the moment bruce condescended to stephanie about her having no skills or talent bc it felt like i was reading about an alien, and i had already begun to have reservations about bruce's characterization in works prior to that, particularly where writers like wolfman were involved. my general opinion when it comes to wolfman is that he will character assassinate or downplay whomever he wishes so long as it can benefit dick as a character. it's the primary reason i can barely stand to read his titans runs, even though they're what i look to primarily in terms of characterizing dick. reading his renditions of bruce hitting dick in that one new titans issue and then year three is just.. so awful and bizarre and i know a lot of people run with it but my question is why.. so many people will say they hate bruce on the grounds that he's physically abusive and that they miss when he was a better parent and it's like i miss that too but that's why my brain is forever entrenched in 70s/80s batman for the most part. like no one is holding my head underwater mandating that i continue to operate under the premise that all existing canon is gospel so i am not really sure why so many dick stans act this way esp when it's not like much of dick's modern canon is actually good

but to actually get into why i'm not a fan of those depictions nor of how their relationship with each other has come to be perceived, i think it's bc a lot of it feels counterintuitive in terms of how they began. what's fundamental to bruce's relationships with his adopted children in general is that he reaches out to them on account of compassion and empathy. he sees how isolated they are, he recognizes it in who he was when his parents died, and he takes them in bc anything is better than living with that loneliness and brooding in it and letting it consume you. he knows that intimately. we all make fun of yjtv and rightfully so, but i think it got bruce's aims with his children right on the nose. he allows them to use robin and their place in his home and their relationships with him and alfred as a conduit through which to channel their trauma. the job and the manor and the parental relationships are sort of like spring boards. they have something to bounce their emotions and behaviors off of rather than reacting into an empty void or simply going through the motions the way bruce did for nearly half of his life in the wake of his parents' death. they have purpose and connection. bruce would give them everything of himself that he has to give if it would guarantee their happiness and prosperity. they are the truest representations of his love for and belief in humanity and by way of that they should be the most important relationships he has with anyone, period

and with dick in particular i think it's special bc he's been bruce's partner for longer than anyone. there's an incredibly deep bond and dependency there and when dick leaves to go to college in the 70s you can tell it tears at bruce's heart a little bc he's learned to live with knowing dick will always be around and that they will always operate together in some capacity. but he's also respectful of the space that dick needs and i love the way a few writers explore how bruce can sometimes get in the way of dick's space and independence out of a sense of love and caring but when dick calls him out on it he steps back and acknowledges that dick is growing into a man capable of making his own decisions (mike w. barr is wonderful with this). there's a clear struggle within bruce to let go but at the same time he doesn't hold it against dick regardless of his own sadness about them potentially growing apart from one another. i think knightfall also explores this concept fabulously, bc we get that miscommunication between them where bruce doesn't call dick to replace him on the grounds that he doesn't want to disturb dick or hold him back, only for dick to feel upset by the idea that he wouldn't be bruce's first pick bc in his heart he knows he would do anything for bruce so long as bruce asked. they're constantly caught up in this complicated entanglement of love and respect and i think that's why it's so easy to blur the lines of their relationship between being a parental one or a brotherly one. on one hand bruce would do everything in his power to protect and care for dick but on the other he understands how impt it is to dick to be seen by him as an equal. so that's very interesting to me

only, what you get as canon progresses, esp from the late 80s onward, is this depiction of bruce that is oddly vindictive and spiteful towards dick for leaving (maybe the few exceptions to depictions like this are from writers like grant, moench, and dixon). there's that one post-crisis issue where dick discovers there's a new robin and when he goes to visit bruce to question him about it the narration from bruce is incredibly sour. like he feels threatened by dick's presence and doesn't want him to come in and dictate his decisions bc he is clearly the person in power. that issue is from starlin. we've already rehashed the basic summary of the follow-up issues by wolfman above. some people will say bruce's actions (even if they hate them) make sense in light of his grief whether it's got to do with dick leaving in context of the starlin issue or jason dying in context of the wolfman issues. but what doesn't make sense is that the issue starlin wrote recreated an earlier issue written by collins, infamously used to reintroduce jason and to restructure the way dick became nightwing. i know a lot of people hate that issue. i agree it takes away dick's agency in terms of him choosing to retire robin. but there's at the least a sentiment of compassion and parental fear to that issue that starlin failed to recreate in his own rendition. bruce nearly sees dick fall to his death and makes a decision (admittedly premature) out of fear for the life of his eighteen year old child. dick might not get it in that moment and it's true there were probably better ways to explore it but personally i don't think bruce is wrong there to have apprehensions. and he's clearly fine with dick eventually figuring out an identity on his own as a man, which he now respects dick to become. he's simply afraid to be the one to directly put dick in danger by asking him to continue being his partner, so he asks dick to let go. it's hardly perfect, but i think it's understandable and nonetheless emblematic of an undercurrent of compassion that starlin clearly fails to tap into when writing his own rendition of their relationship (which is odd bc there's a lot of compassion packed into his rendition of bruce's relationship with jason)

i truly have no idea why bruce would ever be vindictive of dick, let alone of any of his children. the steady undercurrent of bruce's character to me is that he is overly self-critical. he grows attached to people but he chastises himself for the danger he puts them in and for that attachment he develops bc he knows he cannot hold onto everyone forever. he would sooner let people walk away from him and hate him than try to hold them back for something that he believes is his own fault. i think it's realistic for people to be angry with bruce bc he doesn't stand up for himself and bc he can be prone to giving up in his relationships on account of how deeply he internalizes blame. he retreats into his own mind and sinks into his emotions and is prepared to take upon all burdens bc he believes that is his lot in life. that's how his whole crusade started. and obv, for a character like dick, who wants to be seen as a partner and as an equal, that's incredibly frustrating. it creates the perfect foundation for a long-term emotional conflict between them. but i don't think vindictiveness or condescension are necessary emotions to factor into that portrayal, and i don't understand why writers would want them to be, bc they indicate a fundamental misunderstanding of why bruce adopted dick and everyone else to begin with. he doesn't want to keep any of his children as prisoners to gotham forever. the irony is in the fact that the robins have all chosen to commit themselves to this crusade and that they would die fighting alongside bruce bc they love and respect him that much even if he does not always believe he is deserving of that love and respect. if you make bruce vindictive of them, how does that factor into who he is set up to be as a character, in terms of selflessness being his fatal flaw? the struggle has to be about the rift in communication between them, and how his children beg to be recognized and treated as equals despite the fact that bruce letting them go and taking all burdens upon himself is his deepest expression of love. which, to clarify, is obv deeply fucked up and needs to be properly addressed! but the crux to all of it is unequivocally love and i wish more writers remembered that

EDIT: i realized i forgot to even answer the last portion of this ask but since this is already so long: no, i don’t think dick should work within gotham personally. he’s very clearly meant for more than gotham and i think knightfall was the last arc that truly understood that about the relationship between him and bruce. imo he should be the guy who either leads teams or if you absolutely must have him go solo then have him travel the world with the circus while doing hero work on the side. i don’t think he’s the kind of character really meant to have a permanent home in terms of physical location but rather in terms of the people he surrounds himself with. his calling is being entrenched in the supers community at large and acting as a sort of binding agent to help unite people from all walks of life towards a common struggle and ideal and the idea of restricting him either to gotham or to bludhaven is like. useless to me 

[jiminrings]

cabin pressure

pairing: taehyung x y/n

glimpse: pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

wordcount: 17k

notes: this is my first bts fic im gonna post and for sentimentality’s sake, im paying homage to the bullet-point format™️ because this is the same thing i use for my reviewers and it’s v effective in making me focus and not lose interest!!! 

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

jimin really misses you :((

you’re his longtime friend!! someone who’s stuck with him even before he was famous!!

unlike tHose who suddenly appeared claiming that “aHHHHH jimin from bts aha actually we were friends even tho i have never spoke to him once hE’s actually asking me out and-“

and he loves u to death even the both of you fond each other annoying at times

like that one time he pretended he was sick with a bug just to get u out of your very important meeting just bECAUSE he wanted u to cook up a meal he missed

“hey why are u crying and also can you pls still cook why you’re crying”

“jimin i fucking hate you”

:((

and needless to say he really made up for it because he may have screwed up your job bc he wanted you to drop EVERYTHING to cook cheesy tonkatsu for him

so yes he really went up and above just to get you to forgive him

and u know what

jimin misses his best friend so much that he’s thinking of you in the middle of a meeting

and literally at the mention of bon voyage, the gears in his head start spinning!!!!

basically his thought process was:

bon voyage = abroad = y/n = oH DAMN OH RIGHT Y/N’S A PILOT = airplane whoosh = abroad = BON VOYAGE!!!!

“PD-nim!!!!!!”

“what”

and he’s really gonna make a leap for this because it’s given that him and the boys ride in private jets and first-class and all

literally everyone is looking at him now because his previous outburst of a call was surely attention-grabbing and it makes him shrink a bit because aha :D oops lol okay so what i was saying

“i-i was thinking uhm like since, abroad, right?? my friend y/n y/l/n is a pilot!! and the airline she-...”

“you know y/n y/l/n??” bang si-hyuk literally asks with his eyes wide and everyone could tell that it was the positive type of shock

wait

what

everyone in the room is like divided with some nodding and some clapping excitedly and some just with their mouths agape

and that confuses jimin because

“you know y/n??”

bang si-hyuk, ceo of big hit entertainment, his boss,,,, knows you, his childhood best friend-

and it’s not like jimin is territorial when it comes to his best friends and most esp you!!!! but yeah he realizes that he is now, especially because everyone in the room apparently knows you??? and he’s only ever introduced you to the boys???? briefly?? hope and jin have yet to meet you in person???

“how could we not?” jungkook interjects with a bunny smile on his face and everything is seriously confusing jimin rn because honestly

“do you like live under a rock” yoongi has the most confused face ever to jimin’s cluelessness, the situation being ironic because normally the hyung is slower when it comes to these type of things

“y/n went viral all over the news like last week!! up to now even” it’s no joke that namjoon knows everyone that his members know but for jimin to hear joon speak about you in THIS degree offends him

because wait he’s your closest friend he should know these things

he’d like u to know that he isn’t bitter :)

and his eyes go wide at that because oH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

everyone agrees to what namjoon said, still a bit dumb-founded as taehyung practically yanks jimin’s chair to sit closer near his and almost shoves his phone to his face

it’s you

in your pilot uniform with your luggage at tow

sunglasses at the top of your head and phone on-hand

your id still worn around your neck and

oh

jimin basically deduced all of these things with a couple swipes:

a) ok you look ethereal in those pics

b) it was supposed to be a stolen picture of this dude but you were in the background and you cOMPLETELY stole the show

c) someone zoomed in on you and edited so now basically your ethereal being got even more magnified

d) someone zoomed in on your id (he got a lil bit mad at that)

e) aha the internet loves you

f) edits and i have thirty minutes i am free this saturday retweets and digging into your images in social media EVERYTHING!!! the whole nine yards!!!!

when you woke up to that frenzy though

you literally couldn’t function for five minutes and then you started catching up and digging in on what was happening

“but i don’t look ethereal!! my skin is dry n oily at the SAME time because of cabin air and my eyes are stinging!!! i look ghastly and only a little bit fresh because of the air u get when you’re 50,000 feet up in the air!! but im-...”

oh that’s it you went viral completely on accident

you were just waiting for the free service back home your airline offers it pilots, because you brought your car to work but you were too tired to drive back home

but now you are viral in the worldwide interwebs with articles and twitter threads about you and multiple multiple DMs that make your phone freeze and

wait did your airline just email you about that :D

oh lol did beyoncé just follow you :D

basically jimin got his brothers giving him a three-minute crash course each about what happened with their managers even stepping in to gush

he basically can’t believe that he didn’t know that!! even if you didn’t mention it to him, he should’ve known because it was practically everywhere!!!!

bang si-hyuk is well-pleased and even got jimin to tell how he knew you and what you were like and he was very much :O when he got into the word that aish!!! his employee has really been living under a rock lmao

by then, the conversation about bon voyage has been slightly derailed to talk about you

who knew that jimin simply mentioning your name (lol he didn’t need to because the conversation about you was nearing anyway) would land the meeting to

“oh! actually! the airline y/n works at reached a couple of weeks ago about a proposal to get bts to star in a commercial for them!!”

and now they’re hyped because yes they endorsed clothes and food and malls and establishments but never did they endorse an AIRLINE!!! a damn airline!!!!

okay so now not only did they tackle that you would pilot for them in bon voyage

“ah! you could like also play games on the way there with y/n!!”

“wHO WILL PILOT THE PLANE THEN??? we’re gonna crash!!!”

“you’re thick, jungkook, and not in the way you think so lmao”

“maybe we could extend their vacation! shoot a skit or two with them being flight attendants for run!! one week for shooting, two weeks for resting!! two birds with one stone, really”

an airline commercial

a couple run bts! episodes

a whole season of bon voyage (with a longer production because they have longer vacation days)

more traction for them

more time than he ever wished for to be with you!! :D

soon enough the meeting is finished and it went so good that the boys were gonna be treated to a beef dinner so

everyone’s scattered and dispersed, some making small talk w him about you that makes him smile

taehyung’s lingering behind him with his hands on his back

“what is it, tae?”

the younger boy is just giggling and fiddling with his hands, a careless shrug to his shoulders

“can i have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

“aish!! if jungkook were to ask for her number, you would’ve given it to him in a heartbeat because he’s the youngest!! and-...”

“ya!! thanks for reminding hyung! jimin-hyung may i also pls have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

...

jin had to drag jimin with him bc he wasn’t done shooting the both of them glares and his cheeks were practically pink with how annoyed he was at the younger two

needless to say taehyung and jungkook didn’t have any extra portions of beef from him

he is very protective of you and even if he’s become closer with his brothers more than he’s been close with you he jUST can’t help it!!

not that he doesn’t trust them or anything

not that he doesn’t trust you either

but he doesn’t want figurative blood on his figurative ledger because he feels that it would be his responsibility if ever yOu and someone became a thing and HE was the one who inteoduced you both :(

it’s not just a him thing :( he can’t put it into words but he’s just looking out for both parties!!!

kinda figured out that taehyung may or may not have a shy little crush on you

spoiler alert: it was HUGE

for their entire dinner, every single time your name was brought up, tae instinctively has his ears perk up at the mention

simultaneously he shrinks to his seat and purses his lips and looks around to what’s being said

why are u mentioning y/n’s name?? what is happening??

and taehyung having a serious case of sweater paws doesn’t help him from jimin’s observing gaze

and yes he feels a bit sorry because taehyung kinda looks a bit upset; that little “oh :((“ on his face when jimin snapped at him so quick

he’s not gonna force him to tho,, out of respect since someone else is involved (and in this case it’s you and your number)

jimin nudges him by the shoulder to get his attention

everyone’s passed out at this point because the beef was so damn good

tae kinda looks spaced out so he turns his head immediately and he forgot for a second that he was supposed to be cold with jimin

“what?”

“..... do you still want y/n’s number?”

taehyung almost fALLS out of his chair as he nods eagerly, making jimin shake his head to himself as he hesistantly takes out his phone from his pocket

oh god jimin’s phone is on his hand now oh god that’s your picture oh god that’s your number oH-

“i’m not gonna text her tonight if that’s you’re worried about?? i mean we barely know each other!! consider me asking for her number to be used for future references only :D”

“what does future references even mean?”

...

“... luggage. i want y/n’s luggage bag.”

...

“i also want y/n’s-...”

“BUTT OUT JUNGKOOK!! BUTT !! OUT !!”

when you open up your company’s email to you, you really can’t help but to feel nervous

today was your off-day and they specifically requested that you come to the main office at 10 AM sharp

and in your off-day, you aren’t even awake at that time of the morning!!

it wss both a blessing and a curse that you slept early the night before so your body clock just went “lol u wake up early today get up at 6”

and not to mention the fact that it was the same day you learned that you went viral last night when you were peacefully asleep

so the last few hours have been WILD and it kinda put you into shock

the closest you’ve ever been to fame was having your pictures leaked with jimin when you were still kids!!

if you were lucky enough, your face would be covered by every possible animal emoji that was ever released

apart from that, it was the occassional mention of your name in stan twitter and that was it

but THIS type of fame is on a whole another level!! higher than being tagged as jimin’s best friend outside of bts!! higher than having your face covered with animal emojis

when you thought that you were gonna be fired over being viral for some reason unbeknownst —

even if you know that you haven’t violated anything and if anything, you were the one who got violated because someone uploaded a picture of you without your consent!!!

so when you learn that they aren’t mad at all and ecstatic in fact

because your airline basically got free publicity and promotion just because you looked so good in pictures that weren’t even intentional

and that there is a more than noticeable spike in the bookings of flights

and that people were cALLING to ask if you would be the one to pilot that flight

AND RIVAL AIRLINES WERE CALLING IN TO ASK WHEN YOUR CONTRACT WOULD EXPIRE

and that said rival airlines were pitching in salaries that competed with your paycheck now aND THAT THEY WERE EVEN higher

needless to say that your day was more than eventful

you don’t know how to cope up with it either so while the meeting drags on to talk about your newfound fame you’re just :O the entire time

“i believe that park jimin from bts is a close friend of yours, correct?”

wAIT what

you shouldn’t be shocked by now because practically everyone’s familiar with him and the rest of the boys

but it still takes you off-guard because as much as he is your friend

and as much you admit that you miss jimin :(

or that you haven’t talked to him as much these past few days

you genuinely don’t see the connection of why jimin would be brought up into this conversation that doesn’t involve him in the first place

there’s a self-pitying realization in between that it seems like your only determining factor these days was to be known as a best friend of a kpop idol and nothing else

:(

that’s a sad topic you’d rather not delve in at the moment

:(

“prior to you being catapulted into fame suddenly — we reached out to their company for them to become our endorsers. a commercial and a billboard and some other things.”

“and this is just the pERFECT timing because you’re famous now and people love you!!!”

this was it

the stars were aligning for you

not only do you get to hang out with jimin, but now you’re launched into much more job opportunities!!

when the meeting concluded, you narrow it down to the conclusions that:

a) you’re most likely to film a commercial and some adverts and perhaps be included in a billboard with them (their company has yet to confirm within the week but your ceo ji-eun is damn sure at this point or else she will flip

b) you’re now getting an agent :D because apparently offers have been waiting for you left and right and they already got you one before you even said “yeah sure i guess???”

c) you’re getting a RAISE

d) sooner or later you’re gonna do this photoshoot so your own company could post about you this time

e) interviews. you’re gonna be asked to chat your heart out intentionally. i n t e r v i e w s

and it’s a humbling moment for sure because it’s like 

oh. you didn’t mean for this to happen but it’s here now and you can make the most of this while it’s still here!! you get to do what you love and be with the people you love and basically get paid for it!!

oh is this what jimin feels like all the time then??

maybe you should apply as the 8th member of bts

it’s during an intentionally cold night in your apartment that your phone basically vibrates itself off the table

right when you were still in the bathroom taking your time because you were getting PR!! and the mask you just put on happens to be something you’ve been curious about but it was too expensive for you to be curious about lol

also: curiosity that leads you to buy either new skincare products or makeup are either a godsend or a godforsaken situation because 6 out of 10 times you do that, you breakout!!! 

the sound of something clattering to the ground immediately makes you scramble towards your living room, phone flipped over to see jimin up close, eyes even in a picture enough to intimidate you for not answering immediately

“Y/N!!!”

“JIMIN!!!”

the both of you put each other on speaker mode because while you didn’t want to risk ruining your mask, the rest of the boys wanna listen in

the entire phone call was so intense because even in speaker mode you were still yelling at each other

and it was spent with so much enthusiasm on trying to catch up with the past days and jimin apologizing profusely because he’s been living under a rock

“i can’t believe it!! I CAN FINALLY RIDE IN ON A FLIGHT YOU’RE GONNA PILOT”

what

wait

“... jimin what do you mean”

because as far as you knew, the airline commercial would be done with a green screen to ensure that it’s of the best quality

not a gopro type of thing because ur flight attendants would yell real-time to the camera crew and the boys when they try to do something and the seatbelt sign is still on!!!

“wait jimin i think y/n wasn’t supposed to know that yet”

you hear a voice in the background and it’s very much familiar and it’s now hitting you that there’s an audience for your entire call

“namjoon, is that you???”

“Y/N IT’S ME!!! NAMJOON!! OMG”

and then you hear this scuffle over the line and a very slight commotion

it’s jimin holding his phone away with his arm and the other fending off namjoon while hobi scrambles to steal it back

jin is helplessly saying hello to you in the background while jungkook is hopping around going all “miss y/n i am a fan of you!!!”

taehyung is going all sweater paws again while yoongi is desperately trying to shut them up because he’s still listening into yours and jimin’s conversation and he’s genuinely engrossed ok

and now everyone’s calm and collected especially since jimin gives them a death glare each and nobody admits but angry jimin scares the shit out of them

he’s back to being soft-spoken now because he realizes that he may have slipped in saying information he probably shouldn’t have yet, a sheepish scratch at the back of his head

“uhm well you see you’re gonna fly us over for bon voyage and uhm kinda stick around for some pieces here and there?? uhm that’s from what i know hehe”

right now you’re just blanking out and staring into the distance and you’ve suddenly gone awfully quiet

yoongi’s on the background like “yo i think you just broke her”

“is y/n’s cell broken? i’m gonna get her a new one”

“is she okay?? wHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???”

“jimin-hyung you said y/n sometimes forgets to lock her door right??”

it’s once again another frenzy and once you realize that you’ve blanked out, you immediately shush them and they miraculously do

it’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and disbelief because this is more than you’ve ever asked for

to think that just last week you were tired and was about to pull off an AWOL because your off-day couldn’t have come nearer

“i certainly didn’t know that”

and there’s a nervous chuckle and a nervous silence that encompasses and for a moment, jimin frowns because he thinks that this is all too much for you and you’re gonna turn down the offer even before it’s gonna be officially pitched to you at a meeting tomorrow (you have yet to know that there’s gonna be another meeting tomorrow)

“oh my god i get to be with the lot of you!!!”

one excited shriek from you and that’s all it takes for hell to break loose

“JIMIN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T WAIT TO WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAIN”

“i can fINALLY meet jin and hope!!”

“where’s namjoon?? this old lady from one of my flights own a stall at the airport and she’s afraid of riding in airplanes! and i was apparently so good and she wasn’t scared and that she waited for me outside the cockpit! she gave me a written note saying that i could come to her stall anytime and the bOOKS I’M GONNA CHOOSE WILL BE FREE OF CHARGE EVERY SINGLE TIME”

“yoongi if you’re hearing this; i heard kyle kuzma’s gonna fly first class next week and i fly that same aircraft do u want me to ask for an autograph”

“we have a boatload of dog treats we give for lil ones we have onboard so they stay behaved!! taehyung can have them for yeontan”

“tell jungkook that he can finally have my walkie-talkie he’s been bugging me about!! i have a new one anyway”

it’s official

they love you

they are practically swooning right now and are mad at jimin because wHY DIDN’T YOU LET US KNOW Y/N SOONER 

they only met you a couple times in the past and hobi and jin are jealous because atleast they got to meet you :((

and all of them are willing to take a splinter for you no doubt 

everyone goes to sleep that night all warm and fuzzy and content

not to mention taehyung being so giddy about what you said

not only did you think of him you also thought about yeontan aNd you haven’t even met the little devil yet!!

and he isn’t the only one who thinks of this but

there’s just something about you that is so warm and so genuine

like you could be as introverted as yoongi and be as much of a team player and and extrovert as taehyung is when needed be

but the point is that there’s always something about you for everyone that makes them gravitated towards you

of course jimin explains this to you and you basically shut him off

“aish don’t put me in a pedestal because i swear that i’m not that special”

“why won’t you believe me??”

“because it isn’t true now eat your cereal jimin i will pinch you thru the screen”

the meeting comes soon enough and you have to pretend that this was your first time hearing this bit of information

the pilot you were helping learn the ropes, hyunjin, will take over your normal workload for the meantime!!

in less than one week’s time, you have to pack your bags for three-ish weeks!! because as from what you can tell, things are gonna be a bit more hectic for you because you’re not only gonna fly planes

for a run episode, the boys are gonna be your flight attendants in a mock flight with the passengers as staff members

but the plane being in the air and them wearing flight attendant uniforms will be very much real

and then another episode to be squeezed in with them trying out flight simulators and quizzed with aviation facts 

and whether u did the best or the worst with the two-part episode

they’re still gonna go skydiving :)

they’re really milking out the sky motif but ok it wasn’t your show anyway and you were just gonna guest so they can go off by all means

after all that work, you’re gonna fly them off again but it’s for bon voyage this time!!

they basically res for two-ish weeks and you can tag along behind the scenes because i mean like you’re flying them home too so might as well

get some clips in between to be used for the commercial

and said commercial would be shot a few days after you all get back from said vacation!!

that’s it narrowed down and as you were taking notes, you can’t help but to feel very excited and nervous at the same time

a few days pass and it’s finally time!! yeah sure run episode but JIMIN AND THE BOYS CAN FINALLY SEE YOU NOW

you were supposed to reunite in the aircraft itself but jimin is an impatient baby which is why he’s called you insistently to say some excuse of “you have to go back to the empty boarding gate u need to meet your camera director”

lol but in truth you really don’t need to and where they are now is what you need to pass to get to said boarding gate

so when jimin sees you by the jet bridge they were all at, he sprints

like actually SPRINTS to get to you 

and he attacks you with a massive bear hug and sprinkles you with noisy cheek kisses

“Y/N *kiss* I *kiss* MISSED *kiss* YOU *kiss* SO *kiss* MUCH *kiss*”

no lie you really did miss him too

and once you get him to calm down because he was crushing your bones and you return his cheek kisses

the boys are all just looking at the scene in front of them with awe

jungkook’s looking at namjoon with his eyes saying “lol imma do that too” and namjoon’s staring back going “NO”

taehyung’s extra pouty right now

he didn’t conisder the fact that maybe you and jimin were an unspoken thing and that his crush on you is now something he shouldn’t hold onto

he got discouraged very quickly

hobi is waddling to you at full-speed and goes for a hug which is wild move for someone who he’s just met (but u don’t mind)

“you’re adorable your uniform is so cute omg”

jin goes in for a hug too and you say something along the lines of “i could see the handsomeness they were talking about” and he goes absolutely rED

he’s laughing uncontrollably like a seal 

namjoon was about to go in for a hug but then he sees your wrist and-

“iS THAT A KAWS WATCH???”

“OH MY GOD YOU NOTICED???”

“HOW COULDN’T I? THAT’S LIKE LIMITED EDITION HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“I HAVE A FRIEND THAT’S A COLLECTOR HE GIFTED IT TO ME I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED TOO”

you are now being wrapped with namjoon’s long arms 

he doesn’t seem to be letting go of you soon

yoongi just has his arms wide and his eyes in a faux irritated manner

“what are you looking at”

and then his gummy smile appears when you just cave into his hug and jin is like??? “aH! y/n’s power is unparalleled”

jungkook immediately goes in for an embrace and even twirls you around

“ooh!! you have more piercings now than the last time i saw you!”

“i can pierce ears now!!”

“jungkook can you really”

“lmao no”

and now that it seems like hugging is the new norm, and taehyung being the last in line for you to greet, that kinda burns your nerves becauseif you were to “admit, you may or may not have a little crush on taehyung ever since the first time jimin introduced the both of you to each other

so you do the sensible thing and don’t think about it

no thoughts head empty head first

“tae!!!”

“aha y/n :D”

you hug him and well

taehyung blanked at that and panicked internally

the stark difference of your enthusiasm and his timid response was cringeworthy and it makes you screw your eyes shut as you hug him

but the moment tae realizes this, he holds on as you were trying to let go of him as qUICK as possible because it was too awkward for you to bear

and a little crushing if you were being honest

taehyung now takes first place for wanting to be reincarnated as a rock in the next life

after yoongi seeing that interaction he was just like ᵒᵒᶠ

before it goes anymore awkward though and tae starts squawking, jimin thankfully whisks you away 

“you look so badass in your uniform will u let me wear it”

“let me wear your hoops and i’ll let u borrow”

“lol forget that i even asked”

no matter what, jimin doesn’t let you borrow his earrings!!

like even if the boys borrow some from him time to time

he absolutely does not let you borrow and when you ask why, he just rolls his eyes and smacks his lips and goes N-O

and then eventually he has to shoo you out because they have to film the intro at the jet bridge and you’re not supposed to be there really

jungkook excitedly squeezes you again and goes “see you later!!”

jeon jungkook knows what he’s doing

so right before the cameras start rolling, he’s just staring at the side of taehyung’s face in close proximity with a teasing smile on his face and then wiggles his eyebrows in the slightest when tae finally returns his stare with a knowing glare

“what was that awhile ago, hyung?”

“one more word out of ur mouth and i’m ratting you out to-...”

“i was just kidding hehe don’t rat me out to namjoon that i accidentally stained his precious table hehe pls”

and he blinks at that and is taken aback

because that was supposed to be an empty threat

and now that jungkook realizes he’s fallen smack-dab into the trap, he now wants to ignite himself

taehyung now has blackmail material :D

jungkook is now held captive by said blackmail material :D

they eventually get done with their intro and into the aircraft itself!! jimin is the one to introduce you and throughout the whole ordeal they’re just hyped-up bc it’s the first time they get to do this type of episode

and they’re doing it with you so that’s a plus

and they get changed into their custom flight attendant attire

snug pink get-up with a silk navy blue scarf tied around as the uniform’s collar 

and golden nameplates engraved with their names on it

and AIR BANGTAN embroidered into the breast pocket!!

they looked absolutely good

your work would be lighter if only they were your actual flight attendants

you’d work every single day

even though they could be tiresome at times bc they could be all over the place

taehyung was admittedly swooning the whole time

the production staff made you alter your speech a bit so you could insert air bangtan and introduce all seven of them individually for the skit

and then everyone’s briefed with what they have to do and how safety should be the no. 1 priority

and then it’s takeoff time!!!!

jimin is really really proud of you

he takes advantage of this as his bragging rights

“aha that’s my best friend who’s flying the plane we are in right now :)”

“lol i love y/n i was best friends with her first :)”

“best take-off ever in your life amirite :)”

“i’m friends with a pilot in case you didn’t know :) no big deal”

“technically that’s captain jimin to you too now :)”

it was a fun and a chaotic episode

a bit unsafe? yes

but then the icing at the top was taehyung swooning at everything you did and cussing at himself every time he remembers how he screwed up earlier

he is the most behaved person in this flight and he wants you to know that :((

yoongi’s mercilessly teasing him

“y/n’s gonna come out to do her landing speech soon; you should pretend reading the safety manual now”

“somebody give taehyung a barf bag and a pen he’s gonna ask for an autograph from y/n”

“ey jimin do they sell y/n’s perfume in this flight?? someone just wants to ask”

the episode wraps soon enough but not without jimin rowding everyone to CLAP FOR THE PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AHA EVERYTHING WAS SO SMOOTH SO COMFY QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME N MY PILOT BEST FRIEND :D

and there’s just this innate feeling everyone feels every once in a while

that everything feels so right and so complete

it’s like complete nirvana

and before you know it, bon voyage is already happening

a vacation with seven best friends (jimin insists that he has the superlative best when you’re talking about them as friends) 

(and maybe one of them you don’t see as a best friend and perhaps something more and that person really doesn’t show much enthusiasm for you as you do for him)

(it’s taehyung)

and it’s not like taehyung isn’t fond of you

in fact, he very much is!! believe him!!

it’s just that he’s paralyzed over his crush on you and the fact that he sees you often because of these circumstances and he can’t believe it

too paralyzed over the fact that he might and may have already made a fool out of himself

and that he’s afraid to make moves on you with the boys here because jESUS CHRIST

he knows he would be teased mercilessly or he would be teased mercilessly while they help him out but they would never let him live this down

and jimin

oh god jimin

because as much as jimin loves him, he knows that one wrong move on you and he knows he’s gonna yeet him to the han river

he doesn’t know either what would be jimin’s reaction if he knew of his crush on you!! will he flip? will he be happy? wILL HE FORBID HIM FROM SEEING YOU EVER AGAIN????

at times he could be very overbearing

and he admits that

but all for good cause as he tries to explain

oh and jungkook

damn jungkook

he’s caught on pretty quickly about tae’s crush on you

and kook likes you but not in the way tae likes you

it’s just a fuzzy, warm, and platonic type of like like what the other boys have for you

but with fLIRTINESS

jimin’s the same but it was natural since you’ve been friends for absolutely ages

jungkook’s however was very fresh and very aBRUPT

it’s him trying to get a rise from taehyung and urging him to just make a damn move on you

he hopes that his flirtiness with you would just intimidate his hyung to the point that “open your eyes!!! oh what am i doing?? don’t you feel that i’m trying to steal y/n away from you?? MAKE A MOVE!!” gets across

taehyung has yet to realize that though

bon voyage doesn’t really include you (as you also try to remove yourself out of the picture as much as possible)

the cameras aren’t always turned on and not all hours of the day are spent on filming

so they can still get to do things and activities without staff members flooding the house!!

the house you’re all staying at is a gigantic one

so it got divided into two wings and you can even close it off!!

one wing solely for the boys and the other for you and the production staff

you were at their wing more often than you are in yours though

and during these past few days that turned into weeks, you’ve been closer to them more than you could imagine

they were easy to get around with!! them knowing that jimin knows you is a plus factor if you think about it

and even if not for that fact, they still think not much would’ve changed in your present friendship dynamic right now

it was comforting to be with them, really

the other way around!!

and you could also hang out with them either individually or as a group and it wouldn’t be awkward!!

.. taehyung may or may not be a slight issue though

you honestly think that he hates you :(

and you’re trying to backtrack your actions to see if you may have done something to him

you always try to keep up with his energy

jungkook was fooling around with a drone and trying to experiment flying it

and then he suddenly had this idea of “tae do you think you could outrun my drone”

and kook’s whipping his head around for you as if in a silent question to ask “wait is that possible”

and you’re just over there narrowing your eyes like “jungkook just because i’m a pilot,,,,, it doesn’t mean i know every flying object in the air and how to operate it,,,,,”

...

“but y/n can you outrun my drone tho”

it’s the sudden challenge that takes you aback and makes your eyebrow raise

and then it’s become a cHALLENGE

taehyung’s competitiveness making him forget that you’re even there and that he’s not acting all conscious

so it’s literally all fun and laughter

and the both of you may or may not be so caught up into this stupid challenge you stupidly both participated to

you’re not even sure if there was a rEWARD for this

so stupidly caught up to the point that jungkook’s already led the both of you to the beach that you were overlooking from the house you all stayed at

(jungkook’s running with the drone and that completely destroys the purpose of the drone but he’s having fun too ok)

before you knew it, both you and tae are crashing full-speed into the beach and it takes a collective second for you to realize that you both were indeed wet when you’re hip-deep into the water

and it sends another burst of laughter and you’re just looking at him helplessly and out of breath

“oh my god i didn’t even-...”

it hits taehyung now that he’s having full-on eye contact with you on what the fuck is he doing

he just immediately tenses and all the alarms in his head are going off

‘hahahaha yes :)”

and there it is again

that noticeable shift in the air that makes your mouth dry at what could you have possibly done

he’s quick on walking himself out of the water, quite literally leaving you there

jungkook’s by the shoreline laughing himself to death and sees taehyung waddling himself out

“hYUNG OMG YOU DIDN’T EVEN-...”

ok what was that

what the fuck was that

he only gets a blank laugh in return and it’s a dampener for his mood right now

and it only sinks in now that why is taehyung returning by himself

“y/n did you drown????”

no you didn’t drown

but the idea did seem enticing because you felt so embarrassed and down with what just happened

so right now jungkook just has his arm around your shoulders as he’s trying to figure everything out

“did i -- did i do something wrong?”

and even if the context isn’t clear. he immediately says no

the both of you are just walking back to the house while the sun sets and he still isn’t sure of what happened but he knows that it’s enough to make you sad and most probably has something to do with taehyung

he just wants to cheer you up :(

so mid-way he kinda picks you up wordlessly and you don’t fight him about it

you’re completely drained of your energy both physically and emotionally

you melt into jungkook’s grasp on you as your way of thanks and he acknowledges it with a squeeze on your arm

by the time you get back, everyone’s just doing their own thing because it’s nearing dinner

kook kinda plops you into the couch yoongi’s sitting on

his eyes question that something’s kinda off but he doesn’t question it

and you just crawl the short distance so that you’re laying on his lap and be sad in peace there

all he does it just past your head once and that’s it

and he’s just watching a replay of a basketall game because he hasn’t had time to catch up with those championship games (even if he knows who won and who lost)

and out of the blue yoongi just hears you softly pipe in

“my ex is a professional basketball player”

“wHO’S YOUR EX WHAT KIND OF PROFESSIONAL ARE-...”

and you shush him bc you don’t want anybody else to know

“omg jimin doesn’t know this?? and i’m like the first one to know?”

“yes”

oh and he kinda huddles because after all, this is a secret and it does have something to do with basketball

“professional as in he played in this show you’re watching rn”

“is he in this game????”

“lol no from what i know, he got injured even before championship but yeah his team’s playing right now”

“what’s his name???”

“theo. i call him theo”

and then that name sounds awfully familiar and he’s specifically requesting to see what he looked like and even tries to get hobi to look for your phone

but your pictures with him are all deleted now so you just make yoongi search up his name and he’s like :O

“....... why did you break up then..,,.,”

and then you just gently explain that it was a mutual decision and that both your jobs were demanding

so yeah it was impossible to happen

and yoongi forgot that fifteen minutes ago, jungkook just plopped you here because you wanted to lie down and were too sad to function

and he made you retell what happened to you and your ex that only he knows about

so he feels a little guilty

“you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to :(”

and you just wave him off that catches him off-guard

“nah it’s all okay :)”

man were u selfless

yoongi now loves you more

jin and namjoon finish dinner soon enough and everybody goes down to eat

even taehyung who’s with jimin

and it doesn’t even look like something’s wrong

but jimin’s counting all the heads in the room and was like ‘wAit where’s y/n???”

he sees you getting yourself out from lying in yoongi’s lap and he’s there with you in a heartbeat cooing at you

“y/n baby what happened”

and you’re back to lying down again but this time it’s jimin pushing you to lie on his shoulder as he’s stroking your hair

you said “nothing”, you know...,,., like a liar

jimin throws yoongi a questioning look and the older boy just shrugs his shoulders because he doesn’t know either

taehyung’s abandoned at the edge of the stairs

and you were about to scoff but that obviously doesn’t hurt as much when he abandoned you hip-deep into the water

“mhmmm i see :D”

jimin most definitely knows you’re lying but he doesn’t want to prod into it because it’s obvious that you weren’t in the mood to be questioned

at this point he’s just trying to cheer you up but in the same time give you sustenance

he’s literally feeding you right now

jin cooked up a lot of box mac n’ cheese (he transferred it into actual bowls) from the conveniece store and you know what

he wanted to try it out

it is not the healthiest thing in the world but atleast it’s somehow foreign right???? 

as much as jimin loves you, he does want to eat though

so he asked jungkook to get him a big-ass bowl with a portion big enough for the both of you and he did just that 

but you aren’t that much cooperative because you’re not eating that much and jimin is really really enticed with the smell of the food rn and jungkook senses that

“i’ll feed her, hyung!! go get another spoon for you or something”

he is really thankful for that so he just pushes the bowl to kook and scrambles for a utensil and perhaps even his own bowl

jungkook’s feeding you now and without jimin sending you a questioning glance every two seconds, you’re more cooperative 

taehyung is sitting by the far corner of the couch parallel to yours and he is CLENCHING

and he’s groaning to his mac n’ cheese and namjoon is ??? why are you like this ???

“good. it tastes so good.”

he nods but he’s still sending tae a questioning look

you eventually gained the appetite to eat

but jungkook was in charge of the dishes tonight and he doesn’t want to wash one more spoon so he insisted that you just share one instead

taehyung is gonna COMBUST

he is now practically yelling into his mac n’ cheese

everyone is now ??? at him and he makes a show of just shoving the bits of pasta to his mouth

“jin-hyung :) namhoon-hyung :) this is so delicious :) how did you do this :)”

“...... taehyung that’s instant,,,, boiled water and the cheese powder...,.,”

“aHA so that’s why :)”

his actions are v fishy and v funny 

but deep down he is boiling angry and frustrated both at himself and a jungkook

kook is giggling to the bowl right now that you had to pry it away from him

you’re not even LOOKING at taehyung’s direction

usually you did

but your will to treat him like how he treats you is stronger

that’s it that’s gonna be the rest of the trip

if there’s any personality trait you’re gonna pick up from jimin from having been his friend for so long

it would be the stubbornness

you avoid taehyung like the flu

AND HE NOTICES THAT

AND THE BOYS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE IT TOO

jimin is the one most on-guard about that 

and he is whispering to everyone except taehyung 

“if you see something that relates to y/n and taehyung tell me ok tELL ME!!!”

and even tae feels sad about it to the point that he’s trying to make a conscious effort in making conversation with you

when you’re on the floor with your laptop turned on and they’re surrounding you trying to help you out with your emails

emails that don’t relate to aviation work and more-on to the viral side of things such as designer !!! brands !!! reaching out to you personally instead of your agent!!!

“mhmm they have really good shoes. what’s your favorite color anyway?”

and he says that in the midst of voices overlapping bUt the boys realized that taehyung gave input into the conversation and wAS LIKe wait wait tae’s speaking shut up shut up

but jimin answers for you in a heartbeat and hobi pinches his arm and he was laughing suddenly

he’s looking around trying to say something with eyes

“lol i’m sorry did i ruin his move on y/n”

and his subconscious-

“WAIT WHAT TAEHYUNG IS MAKING MOVES ON Y/N???”

it takes all four of his hyungs to plead him to shut up with their glares and don’t make this anymore awkward as tae wants to be swallowed wholly by the ground

your resolute will doesn’t crumble until jimin makes it his ultimate mission to find a drink that’s gonna sink you

because your alcohol tolerance was brought up again when they were talking about buying drinks

and jimin tells the story of how you outdrank him one night and didn’t wake up with a deadlier hangover than he did aNd he was still curious to how you did it

you don’t know either but you’re as interested as them in finding a drink that’s gonna sink you

hobi’s random pick in the grocery store did JUST that

you finally sunk

you finally got as drunk as jimin’s level

as in a shit-faced type and not just a happy buzz you usually felt

you and jin have been laughing without end for five minutes now

no one even joked

you just made eye contact with each other and you both immediately started to wheeze 

he was starting to get so red he looked borderline pURPLE if you were still seeing clearly

yoongi was laughing by seeing the two of you laugh because it was starting to get contagious at the point 

by now namjoon’s back was being slapped carelessly by yoongi who’s pleased with himself

taehyung has a grin on his face because you were so adorable

as if his cheeks weren’t warm enough just by seeing you so happy and bubbly

and the heat in his chest isn’t just because of the alcohol nor the warmth his sweater provided

maybe this isn’t a little crush anymore :((

while he’s ignoring that possibility, everyone else is considering it

everyone besides you :((

jimin’s on his feet at the moment because oh my god it’s happening!!!

good news because you’re drunk out of your mind

and bad news that you’re drunk out of your mind

so he’s tending to you with a glass of water and you won’t drink it

he’s trying harder this time by putting the glass to your lips but you were flailing around so much by laughing that it spilled some to you and jimin himself

he’s now looking for a straw

this one’s for boba but he has to settle for this now

and he’s trying to coax you into drinking it

hE’S EVEN USING A VOICE HE USES FOR BABIES

“but water tastes like nothing :((”

“which is exactly what you need”

“but i want it to taste like something”

he’s about to groan but then he sees your eyes glossing 

and oh god did he hear a whimper

“y/N BABY DON’T CRY OK OK WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

he’s now looking for an ice cold chocolate drink that isn’t overly sweet

namjoon has made it his personal decision to follow jimin around

and with his twofold clumsiness at this state, yoongi follows him but not without holding on to the back of jooni’s shirt so he could be slid around

jin stands up and follows them but he’s not sure why

“why are you all -- this is NOT a conga line!!!”

hobi’s staring into the distance turned into snoring

taehyung isn’t all that drunk

but you, on the other hand, are very much drunk

tae’s not sure to why you’re approaching him

maybe it’s because the hoodie he’s wearing now is jungkook’s

maybe it’s because jimin’s scent is on his hair from having borrowed his shampoo

maybe it’s because you’re drunk and your first thought is him even if drunk

but all his thoughts fly out the door when you’re squeezing yourself into the couch he’s lying on at the very moment

one that’s too small for the two of you and that he had to grab you split-second because you were about to fall out of the couch so hard if not for his strong grip that holds you

“y/n.”

taehyung’s not sure either to what his tone contained

whether it was for warning or for reprimanding, literally all his thoughts are crushed once again the moment you speak

“you’re voice is very deep.”

he’s not sure if you know this either but you were unconsciously cuddling up to his side, filling in the gap at the couch that just made you barely fit

you’re

cuddling

him

“a-and it’s very calming.”

he’s not sure to why but the moment you put your hand on his chest because you were basically almost lying on top of him

his first instinct was to put his hand on the small of your back

and the moment and the feelings were so warm that fuck this isn’t the alcohol anymore

nor the sweater

so warm to the point that the both of you don’t notice jimin’s :O and everyone else’s :D

because the make-shift conga line has arrived right in front of where you are and hobi just woke up

and right when everything feels surreal 

taehyung watches a split-second decision happen right in your eyes

you just kissed the tip of his nose

:’)

taehyung thinks he’s gonna ascend to heaven

it’s the softest moment ever because you pull away trying to gauge his reaction

he’s all red with his bottom lip in between his teeth and oh my god his eyes are so expressive

jimin steps in tho

and he clears his throat and taehyung iS SUDDENLY BACK TO EARTH

oh my god oh my god that just happened oh my god

this is a bit more scary and intimidating now

because jimin doesn’t look neither thrilled nor angry

he looks neutral

neutral blank-faced on the verge of who knows what jimin is the most frightening jimin

“hey baby here’s your chocolate drink you asked for :)”

and with just a head rub you immediately come to your senses and are already making grabby hands to the cold mug (with a straw!!) and you’re scrambling to stand up and jimin’s helping you to stay stable because you’re attached to him now

taehyung is now looking at his hands as if they were the most entertaining things in the world “wow look at my rings i have never seen them before so shiny so silver”

and he knows jimin can see right through him

jimin has the tiniest hands out of all of them while he has the largest

and u know what

he could be still strangled with those same hands 

and u know what too

maybe he’ll accept that wrath because he kinda deserves it  

he’s sent a brief look that’s enough to let him know that the both of them will talk

that taehyung shouldn’t leave this couch

nor leave this house

nor this country

you know what maybe tae better start timing his record on how long he can go without breathing

he can do that for a minute and a half underwater

soon enough jimin finally tucks you in with not much protest

much force from him tho but much more apologies and coos when he apologizes and you do as asked

got to make u brush your teeth and change into a fresh set of pajamas

he has to trick you into “seokjin would be mad at u when he learns that you went to sleep with dirty clothes on”

and him being the good friend that he is

since he also achieved of getting to sink you with a drink

he’s gonna go the extra mile

went so far as to wipe you with a wet towel and dry you off since you didn’t want to shower and he’s afraid ur probably gonna fall asleep not even midway

he even does your skincare routine for you

you kept giggling when he was patting your face so he did it more but now you were in the verge of tearing because in your drunk state you tHOught he was slapping you over and over again with both palms at the same time

and after all that

jimin finally gets around with taehyung on the couch and the younger boy just immediately straightens his posture

...

“...,.,., so you and y/n.,.”

there are literally no words in his mouth

“aha yes me and y/n :D”

and it’s a habit of tae’s to be incoherent whenever he’s flustered

that kinda doesn’t help his case because jimin needs ALL of his brainpower and coherence

“what are your intentions?”

“uhm i uhm aha :D great pilot. no jet lag.”

he’s nodding even there isn’t something to nod at

god he didn’t even drink much but he feels just as floaty and as spent

“calm down, taehyung.”

he SOBERS at that

jimin even pats at his knee to try and ground him

“y-you’re not mad at me??”

“lol i kinda am to be honest”

:(

“but i’m only mad because you treated her from the start as if you didn’t like her!!”

“but hyung you knOw it’s hard and -- wait was it really obvious??”

“there’s a difference between being shy AND being an insensitive ass that leaves the room whenever she enters!!!”

“but-...”

“and i know that people cope with things differently but your mechanism with your little crush on y/n was just kinda off for her, y’know? like this is the time she genuinely gets to know you and not just a five-second introduction by me!! and it’s just kinda a ballsy move because she just got to know you in this level and you’re acting like an ass and she doesn’t know why!!”

“ok but-...”

“and ok the boys and i aren’t mad that you kept from us because it was pretty obvious but i mEAN like you could have just went to us, ya know?? even if some would give poor advice, it’s the thought that counts!!”

“jimin-...”

“oH also what if y/n fell for jungkook instead of you, huh??? he has balls and he doesn’t even like her in that way!!”

this effectively shuts tae up because he hasn’t really considered that possibility

and it’s a dunk at sobering reality that each one of these days he let pass could have been the moment but it was just him hindering himself

because he is a shy boi for you and the crippling fear of rejection just always paralyzes him

aND NOW THAT TONIGHT HAPPENED!!!

with his nose still tingling and his cheeks still flushed because of that kiss

with somehow permission from jimin

with you in the picture now and everything in place

taehyung really can’t help but pout adorably and cry up tears of happiness a bit

jimin hugs him for that with a pat on his back

they both know though that even without any verbal warning that jimin will give taehyung hell if ever he breaks your heart

tae kinda pales at the realization because it may be a conflict of interest

and jimin would be like

lol :) why would you be afraid of me when you have no intention of hurting her :) 

tae SWEARS he could hear jimin in his head and he was about to reply but he realizes that he’s just a little bit worried and much more overwhelmed

needless to say that things really did do change overnight

you were trashed yet thankful that you remembered most of how the night went including that bit in which you were drunkenly topping and cuddling taehyung then pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of his nose

you could still hear your internal monlogue of “boop :D” when you kissed him

you’re woken up by the boys (yoongi included because it turned out you slept in for much longer) since today was a no-film day and they basically get to do anything in this vacation without it being documented and such

it was just a never-ending warm feeling with tae

throughout the whole day he was just grinning at you and maintaining eye contact and at times when you’re not even doing anything

(he’s glued to your side much to the grumpiness of jimin)

it was a slow burn at most

bumping shoulders and squeezing of wrists 

having his hand casually on the small of your back and around your shoulders

taehyung scrunching his nose SO MUCH

hobi is genuinely concerned

“tae do u have a cold??”

yoongi is fucking relentless

“what? what? what did the good boy smell???”

seokjin keeps pursing his lips intentionally after trying to gain tae’s attention and he = would shrug his shoulders excessively

“i saw that u little punk i SAW that”

namjoon would be on tune with how yoongi just won’t stop

“tie that bandana around your neck instead and sTOP sniffling”

jungkook would roll his eyes and scoff playfully whenever taehyung would glance at him

“do i need to kiss y/n so you’d be jealous enough to do so??”

jimin would be the mediator with all the teases but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s on tae’s side either bc the one time taehyung bragged that jimin was protecting him, he got whacked on the side of the head

“lol no this isn’t for u taehyung,, i’m just doing this because y/n’s cheeks are so hot and they’re burning a hole on my shoulder”

as much as your relationship was slowly but surely blossoming with taehyung

it happened for the boys as well!! even with jimin who you didn’t even think was possible to get closer to

bonding with jin was spontaneity and strict adherance to plans combined

“jin do u know milktpapi on twitter”

“bubble would have been a better name for that puppy”

following twitter recipes that are fast-paced and a little vague became a big hit for the both of you

he went on a watching binge one night and the morning after there were just paper bags on the counter of ingredients upon ingredients that he so sweetly asked the staff to get for him

DC CUPCAKES!!!!!!!

he liked that there has to be some type of drama between those two sisters

jin would just be ranting to you with no end

“they were on CONEy island,,, C O N E ,,,, and she made cupcakes in cONES but they still chose the sister who thought hAMBURGERS,,, in C O N E y island,,,, was a good idea!!!”

another inside game was to guess the personification of inanimate things but to food

“what must sadness taste like”

jin and you and the never-ending bickering between the two of you almost always fills in as white noise

yoongi and you are rather a quite dynamic duo

and as hobi explains that you could just really really catch on with his tempo

like at times they would just catch the two of you lying on the same couch but at the opposite ends with your feet meeting in the middle

awake and in complete silence

jungkook has his eyes squinted

“why are you texting each other????”

and it has him genuinely baffled but he’s just answered with a grumble and he CAN’T tell whether it’s from you or yoongi

just like with jin, there’s also a food approach

“that dumpling kinda looks like namjoon”

“i was JUST about to say that”

it wasn’t a showy type of friendship with yoongi; rather a more silent concern type of thing and the occasional hug

love language with him seems to be the both of you having a drum-off because he has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers

and he’s v thankful because oh :) you’ve just distracted me from that thing i was nervous about :)

also likes snoozing off so whenever you can, you squeeze in a pillow when his neck’s in an awkward position and when he wakes up and realizes he’s just like :) gummy smile :)

hobi is a force to be reckoned with

asking “hey r u ok” out of the blue even if you weren’t particularly sure how the other one felt and sometimes one of your heads would just whip and go “you noticed???? :(”

hanging with him whenever he scrolls at his phone and online shops

the only difference is that he buys what he wants

“you’re telling me that we scrolled for like an hour and you’re not buying any of the things you saw????”

and you just pass it off every time because although a pilot’s wage is above average salary, your future and earning isn’t as sECURED and SOLID as his was

that doesn’t stop him peeking at your cart when you aren’t looking and adding it to his and perhaps checking out :) i mean it’s definitely not from him when you see some parcels in your doorstep by the time you get home :) not from him :)

it’s become a constant thing to link your arms together!!!

even if you’re not necessarily walking, it is essential to link arms with you as he argues

one time jimin tried getting in between your linked arms with hobi bc he wanted to join

hobi IMMEDIATELY glares at him and jimin backed off like sheesh ok but u don’t get to do the things i do with y/n either

writing on each other’s forearms is a thing too

sometimes it’s to conversate when you’re not in the mood to talk verbally

sometimes it’s just about talking shit but don’t tell jin he has his coat on backwards he looks laughable

“can u choreograph something for twinkle twinkle little star”

“y/n i-...”

nAMJOON however feels like he should’ve met you earlier like WAY WAY EARLIER

he gets on with you so well and sometimes he just sulks to jimin

“why didn’t you introduce y/n earlier to me god what was life like before y/n”

brain talk is more prevalent than ever because there are thoughts that delve deep into your mind that sometimes only namjoon could get

noah fence but if you were to rant about this to jimin, he would just drone off and grumble and he’d turn to sleeping because he just can’t help it

movie symbolisms????? count that to him and jungkook

after watching parasite for the nth time, you’re sure all three of you had all bases covered but nO it was somehow bottomless

“isn’t it ironic and somehow oxymoronic that...”

he is eternally grateful for you because one night the boys wanted to have a seafood night and u may or may not have had some recipes sent in your airline gc with how your airplane food was made

(surprisingly it didn’t suck)

and you considered him since he hates it and you know what,, he gets something else cooked for him

god namjoon gets why taehyung is smitten with you

also joonie is a bit oblivious to this fact but the other boys notice that you always bring him back a trinket of some sort

you noticed (and jimin might have pointed out one time) that he tended to fiddle with things and do small tasks whenever he was ticked off or stressed out

you keep note that you should gift him one of those fun kiddie entertainment packs when you’re back to regular programming as a pilot

it’s also a constant thing for you to bury your head to his chest

for no reason at all

it’s really comforting to say the least

he could be preparing breakfast and you’re just trudging down the stairs still not fully awake

“hey. i’m making-...”

boop

“oh ok jus hang there if you want but u might get burnt by the pan but it’s ok it’s ur call”

jimin has become even much more of a precious being

gets in your nerves a bit more often than the last time but it’s normal at this point

head rubs that lull you to sleep are the best :((

taehyung sometimes looks to his hands because jimin got you to sleep instantly and he pouts

“how do you do that?? i wanna do that too pls”

jimin’s voice feels like a warm weighted comforter,, that you gotta admit

“your voice is very velvet-y and it’s unfair because i can’t stay mad at you”

“𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀“

you still make an awed face whenever jimin cracks his bones

you’re in the middle of being fond and being disgusted at the sound so it’s still a 50/50 whether you grimace or gasp at him

“can i pls borrow your hoops”

“you could ask a million times and i would still say no”

playing with his rings whenever you’re sad is a habit you would never grow out of

which is why you were attached to him by the hip,,, or rather hands ,,, when taehyung was in the verge of being an ass to you

jungkook is something ELSE

if you aren’t lingering around jimin or taehyung, you would definitely be around him

taehyung is most jealous with the two of you but no he didn’t say that :)

annoying each other is the no. 1 task 

but lately annoying feels like second nature now so it doesn’t seem like tradition anymore

you would be his audience whenever he’s drawing because you’re genuinely enthrilled with him and his work

“how are you so good at this”

you’re almost always trying to copy what he draws

“what were you attempting with this”

“i was attempting your drawing”

“lmao are you sure with that???”

jungkook likes playing with you by pretending that he’s annoyed

but when he sees that u made his art your lockscreen, he was so awed that he was literally about to BAWL

he pretends not to notice when you push your food to his plate because you either aren’t too keen with the dish or you’re just too full

when jimin calls you out for “y/n why are you putting ur food on jungkook’s plate” and jungkook with “and jungkook why are you accepting it”

kook just shrugs and comes to defend you

“nope i didn’t see anything hyung :D”

if you liked shoving your head to namjoon’s chest, you liked leaning on jungkook’s shoulder

seokjin looks most offended 

“not even half of me y/n not even H A L F of me”

this really warms taehyung’s heart

because not only are you close to him but also with his brothers!!

even if he wants to deck jungkook sometimes

and that he may need to work on his jealousy

but none of those things matter because he’s given the assurance that you’re exclusive

that he may be yours and you may be his 

as cheesy as that sounded

taehyung’s working on a plan to properly ask you out once bon voyage ends and not just steal cheek kisses from time to time

or hold your hand and avoid your gaze because he too will surely combust

or hug you from behind tenderly 

much to the teasing and the hoots of the boys

and jimin’s occasional scowls but that’s ok he’s moving on and slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t be overbearing this much anymore

bon voyage wraps soon enough

and truth be told you didn’t want it to end because you were in such bliss!!

it was a very memorable trip that you now carry close to your heart

and the fact that they still have a commercial to be filmed with you and some billboards to be shot makes you very :D

since the commercial was to be filmed tomorrow and you lived close to the airport, jimin initiated the idea of “hey what about if we just sleep over at y/n’s place??” which was very applauded

taehyung squeals the loudest when the idea was pitched in

“lol no you don’t get to sleep in the same bed as y/n”

namjoon shoots jimin a look that he was being overbearing again

“or you could just let her decide :)”

it’s only been four days since they last saw you but needless to say that it was borderline chaos when they met you at your apartment that was more on the spacious side

“y/n’s uncle kinda owns the building” jimin explains at first because the building did look more lavish than the average complex

“d-do i get to meet y/n’s uncle??” 

taehyung is a bit nervous because he didn’t know that fact obviously and now he’s meeting the family and he is unprepared jesus christ and-

“no he probably won’t like you”

“jimin sTOP making taehyung nervous because he’s gonna start sniffling again”

the lot of them get to your apartment before you because your flight got delayed and therefore jimin just had to whip out his key you gave him as an extra

he does it fast enough before taehyung takes a deep dive to how he doesn’t have an extra key from you or something like that 

jimin does feel like he’s being a bit hard on tae so he lays off of it for now

taehyung has the ultimate heart eyes for you the moment you come home

“i missed you” in the most adorable and heartwarming tone

and there it was again

a cheek kiss and not just a quick peck!!

a tight hug to your waist and a nuzzle against your hairline!!

MUCH WARMTH AND FUZZINESS

once jimin finally got to pry taehyung off of you because he claims that he’s hogging you all to himself, you’re met with very eager hugs and greetings

seokjin and basically everyone else are still in awe seeing you in your uniform so he squeezes in a quick pic in his phone 

you sent him a look and when you peered in, the picture turned out really cool with the nice lighting your apartment had

AND he’s really pushing it that it was good because of the app he downloaded that made pictures have a vintage film cam aesthetic to it

so you yielded and just told him to send the picture to you later 

aha ego boost :D

they insisted on cooking dinner since you did look a bit exhausted from your round of flights even if it was routine at this point (the highlight was when some people recognized you from the pics that went viral and asked to take a pic with you when you were greeting them out!!)

“are you really sure you’re gonna cook dinner, tae? i could always order-...”

“you don’t need to!! i wanna cook for you anyway!!”

that was heartwarming more than usual

jungkook clears his throat

“....,., and us”

“aha yes of course i meant for you and the boys as well :D”

you go to change clothes more than enthusiastically now

because things just seemed to be good with no complications at all

the idea of domesticity with taehyung makes you iMPLODE just by thinking about it

the thought was too soft and too fuzzy that you’ve become energized

maybe reading a couple of emails before taking a shower and cleaning up and getting yourself to look a bit more presentable isn’t a bad thing

it isn’t anything but sheer giddiness when you check your inbox and see an edited version of a run bts ep from a staff member you befriended during bon voyage!!!

you kinda get now what jimin was saying that you had the ability to have people wrapped around your finger

maybe it’s charisma you picked up from wanting to please people just so you could have extra credit???

anyways

it’s a run bts ep you get one of the first dibs on to watch so that’s always a reward

basically the context for it was that it was a hot tub confessions type of thing!! the twist was that they had to speak their heart out (their dislike is very much encouraged) over a certain someone bUT they had to rely on their ~telepathy because names wouldn’t drop

and it was a random selection to who would start the confession first and the others had to go with the flow and basically hope that they’re talking smack about the same person lol

only the name blank would be used and it for the pronoun!!

you were already making assumptions to who it would be about

it could be about jungkook because throughout the whole trip, he would literally gasp out of the blue and take the others in shock like seagulls going WHAT WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT WHAT

or maybe jimin because he’s a lil shit and would pull chairs and that hobi fell victim and was so annoyed because he fell on his ass so hard 

last prospect was seokjin simply because,, as jungkook emphasized throughout this whole trip,, “ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ” just because he complained about his lower back one time

speaking of jin, he gets chosen to open the game!!

and he buffers for a moment that gets another tease from jungkook 

“ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʰᶦᵐ ʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦˡᵏ“

“blank bought me an actual film camera!! bit more complicated than taehyung’s!! keeps telling me every five seconds about my settings and i!! i KNOW HOW TO WORK IT THANK U VERY MUCH!!”

although jin is a bit guilty about that because he admits that he has a more-than-sure feeling that most of his pics may or may not be either over-exposed or too dark

this reminds you of that time you bought a film camera for jin on a whim because it was on sale and you were talking about it the night before

lol what a coincidence

hobi takes second call

he is only about a quarter-percent sure to who jin was pertaining to so he trails around for a bit

“blank is like a broken kitchen timer”

he plays it safe with that one 

although there is some sort of edge with his bluntness because everyone might be a little drunk hehe 

“blank looks at things as if it was born yesterday!! literally goes :O”

even goes so far to imitate said expression and it makes everyone gIGGLE

yoongi snorts with that and now he’s a bit more feisty since he’s tipsy

“it joins me in my silence”

wait

“texts me even if i’m in the same room like wtf i can see you”

wait

hold on

“likes hUGGING ME TOO MUCH”

you really didn’t like making things about you because other people doing that makes you tick

but there’s this unsteady feeling in your gut

something that makes you think deep in thought and in doubt

jimin was next to speak so that calms your nerves

he would never, right??

maybe you’re just taking things to heart!! the boys really aren’t talking smack about you, right??

your breath is just held because jimin was surely taking his time in making a show with inhaling so deeply so he could yell a bit more dramatically

“DOES IT NOT HAVE ITS OWN CLOTHES????”

oh

your eyes flicker for a moment to the sweater that’s by your dresser

something of jimin’s that you forgot to return

oh.

“needier and whinier than jungkook”

it was the youngest’s turn to cackle

and at this point you’re only half-listening

you’re a bit too preoccupied with the hurt blooming in your chest

“i!! am!! not!! a!! baby!!”

jungkook’s meltdown makes everyone else laugh because right now he had his fists clenched and his face looking like a baby’s

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

there was just a little bit more hope lingering that this may no be about you at all

but god it was getting too specific 

too specific when it came to namjoon who was a bit more eloquent in speaking and wanting to get his point across

“.... trying to memorize my rap in UGH! .....”

fuck this really is about you

and it’s not just sadness that’s overtaking you

makes you more than deflated than you thought you could ever be

“at this point i sometimes avoid her”

and god there’s this more than familiar laugh that fills your ears through and through

“lol namjoon where do you hide?? i hide in the pantry”

taehyung even?

at this point you can’t even bear watching the video anymore

willing your laptop closed so forcefully that it bOUNCED back open but you can’t even begin to worry that you might have put a crack on the screen

shoving it to your desk with the screen facing anywehere instead of you being the best option

the hurt is painfully fresh and oddly felt so surreal

god were you really that intolerable?

you didn’t know how to cope with what you’ve just heard nor experienced

but the only thing you were sure about is that your situation has just been too good

perhaps this was the complication you were looking for because you weren’t used to things being so good

and you know for sure that this feeling isn’t good at all

and you hated it

at this point you’re just trying to go about your previous plans of showering and cleaning up but the eagerness isn’t there anymore

nor is the eagerness to see the boys

nor is the eagerness to see taehyung

didn’t even notice that you were taking up much time that jimin was at your door knocking, voice gentle and inquiring

“y/n did you fall asleep??”

you’re very much tempted to not go out at all because you lost your appetite for eating too

very much so that you make no move at all and actually think that jimin’s given up on knocking at your locked door

but then your phone rings and he knows for sure that you haven’t gone to sleep because it would’ve been put on silent

“are you hiding???”

you pretty much are and you don’t wanna go out at all

but you basically had no choice to

it was a pressure to wipe at stray tears and say “i’m coming” in an unwavering voice and even more-so pretend that nothing’s wrong at all

or the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you and jimin’s prodding makes everyone else wonder

“are you crying??”

the question doesn’t faze you but it does take you by surprise now that you aren’t comfortable with the situation nor the new attention

taehyung’s getting worried because now he notices the redness in your eyes and the bit of puffiness in your lips

“just sleepy. my eyes tear up when i’m sleepy, right?” you’re using jimin’s knowledge about you against him and he agrees to that almost instantly

can’t help thinking that something was fishy though

you weren’t telling him off when he was bickering to taehyung that he shouldn’t sit next to you for dinner

didn’t react either when tae let off a little victory giggle and grinned when he sat next to you not one bit of acknowledgement when a replay of cake boss was on your tv with jin’s eyes flickering over to you repeatedly but he doesn’t receive an excited glance back

even yoongi found you oddly too quiet and he was tempted to pull out his phone to text you

it’s weirdly off

there’s something missing

namjoon was starting to get worried because you aren’t really engaged in this conversation with a topic he’s direly interested about

“and something done to that degree would just be far too suspicious, right?”

“mhmm yeah”

:(

even jungkook who’s kinda throwing himself at you and you’re just barely responding

he’s wriggling himself to fit by your side and just curl up and when he looks at you expectantly to do something, he just gets a pat on the head

a pat??????

hobi’s being over the top with his reactions right now to try and gauge a reaction from you but to no avail at all

normally he would’ve made you laugh or atleast smile at this point

but there’s nothing

just nothing

taehyung gets you alone on the couch because everyone else was just dispersed at this point and are bumping into each other asking if they knew what happened to you

jimin himself is pressured because he prides himself in being your closest friend aND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU

tae is a lil bit more confident that he could coax out to why you were acting so differently

even gets far as to hold your hand and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck

“everything okay, baby?”

god and he’s only called you baby only for a handful of times

“yeah”

that didn’t hurt taehyung’s ego

not at all

or make him overthink to why you’re not all that willing to open up to him nor even look interested in this conversation he’s carrying alone on his back

no not at all

not even when jimin has the most balls out of the group and is the testing point to see how the waters would go

while the night’s coming to an end and everyone’s slowly starting to settle in

“aha so where are we gonna crash anyway?”

you know what he’s trying to get at 

but seeing to it that what you just watched prior to this and perhaps for even a longer period besides that particular episode you don’t even wanna watch

you might as well not give anyone the sense of satisfaction nor pride; even if the question took you by surprise with how bluntly he addressed it

“uhm well the guest room now has two beds since some friends come over from time to time”

“but-”

“yeah the huge couch could fold over as a bed”

“but-”

“i could also-...”

“but y/n you have a king-sized bed!!”

jimin blurts out and almost whines out, a frown evident on his face as you keep your will not to break

“oh. just wanna sleep alone, jimin, yeah? kinda tired because of work today.”

he almost always gets what he wants and this blooming feeling inside him isn’t because of the embarrassment that you didn’t grant his wishes of just plopping beside you on your bed 

it’s because he’s thinking of why not

taehyung tries his best to just swallow the lump in his throat because he may or may not have daydreamed that he’d get to share beds with you

nothing but cuddling in his mind and the tiny bit of friskiness but that’s beside the point

he doesn’t wanna think about how there are no goodnight hugs

the closest thing to it was jungkook receiving a pat on the shoulder

because it happened that his arms were outsretched awkwardly

no cheek kiss for taehyung either

yeah it’s perhaps just fatigue as hobi tried to reason

they don’t know if they’re convincing each other or just themselves

maybe tomorrow would be better :D

...

aha no 

in fact at this point of morning when everyone knows that you’d be awake and it happens to be your off-day before the shoot tomorrow

and that whenever they’re around, you’d rather linger around them than to stay cooped in your room because you would be too sluggish then go back to sleep again

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

yeah you’d rather keep your pride at this point

jimin knocks again and you know you have no choice if you wanted this to go as discreet and as smooth as possible without raising suspicions that you knew

jin panicked for a moment because he was making french toast that he saw from damn milktpapi to try and catch your attention so when he hEARD your door click he was rapping litanies faster than the rapline ever could

they unconsciously just gravitate towards the couch and are practically hovering around you

you’re awfully quiet and the only input you give is when you’re asked a direct question

the only noise was coming from them reminiscing about their bv trip 

namjoon keeps bringing you up with “yahhh do u remember when y/n-....”

yoongi makes a point to keep laughing and have his arms protruding and therefore nudging you each time

at one point he almost shoves you but he’s barely met with a reaction

goddamn does he need to throw you off a cliff or something just to get a rise out of you

they really think that there must be something wrong 

so right when they wanted to open it up, they literally get interrupted but this time with a doorbell

you practically leap at that opportunity because quite literally were you saved by the bell

you don’t know who’s ringing your bell and why but you’re willing to take it 

jimin knows that you aren’t expecting anyone besides them as he’s made you promise

he might as well square up right now and be huffy about it

you’re bordering on confusion and curiosity as you open the door and even more-so your audience behind you who may or may not be in the same state

“theo??”

yoongi’s ears immediately perk up at that while his eyes go the widest

he’s toppling over as he scrambles for a vantage point that would get to see theo but without neither you nor theo seeing him

oh my god is this really your prfoessional basketball player for an ex-boyfriend

the boys are panicked to how yoongi’s acting and they even help him adjust his position even if they don’t know what it’s for

“wHAT YOONGI WHAT WHAT WHAT”

“BE QUIET”

he’s racking his brain for the description you gave and the picture you showed him

tall? intimidatingly. shoulders? perhaps even broader than seokjin’s. muscles? even more defined than jungkook when he lived in the gym. fluffy and silky-looking hair? enviously so :((

oh god it is theo

is he supposed to fanboy now

wait 

what was your ex doing here anyway

“i’m just gonna be out for a second, yeah?”

you say aimlessly and yoongi catches your gaze and he pretends to eat french toast while he’s stretched out on the floor to not break his cover

no one even has a chance to question nor respond because you’re already shutting the door

“WHO WAS THAT”

“WHY IS HE HERE”

“i sWEAR i saw him on tv once”

“taehyung are you ok”

yoongi’s bombarded and even if he’s shocked at the the turn of events because one second ur eating french toast with them and the next you’re out the door; he does have a bit more of an idea

“oh that was theo”

...

“are we supposed to automatically know who tHEO is???”

“you gonna add more context to that or????”

“even jimin doesn’t know!!!”

“theo’s a basketball player”

there are a couple of awed reactions

even namjoon’s explosive “aHHHHH so that’s where he’s from”

but there’s this question that’s begging to be asked

jimin taking front line as he asks with so much spite

“why is theo here then??”

this baffles yoongi too

most times he just doesn’t sugarcoat things and his mouth speaks the truth before he could even think of something else

“aish i don’t know i just know that she’s y/n’s ex so stop asking me if-...”

jimin’s in the corner with his mouth dropped, tongue poking at his cheek

“oh uhm i didn’t know that”

taehyung is sat on the floor with his attention not on the french toast anymore

eyes distant and not blinking as he’s nodding

“i see”

both jimin and taehyung clearly need time to process this bit of information

the conversation ends at that and everyone else staggers around

jimin’s in thought because why didn’t he know that??

shouldn’t he know that?

and what’s it with yoongi knowing instead of him?

taehyung, on the other hand, is conflicted with what he should feel

he’s jealous that’s for sure

the both of you covered masses of topics during the outing

but it never came to the topic of past flames

were you meaning not to tell him? or theo wasn’t talked about because the topic never came????

is this insecurity that he’s feeling

jungkook has to hold taehyung’s head still because he’s still nodding while deep in thought

you really weren’t expecting theo to show up at your doorstep

it’s in good intentions and you remained as friends but he was just too unexpected

“didn’t you know?? i’m gonna be one of those extras tomorrow for your airline commercial and it’s just a lil cameo but still!!! i don’t know i just wanted to visit you since i was in the area too :D”

and that’s what ended up with you coming with him to the little cafe at your complex with the promise that it was just gonna be quick and you’ll show him out

and perhaps that you don’t wanna be in the same room as them either

avoiding is good

yeah it would be good

:)

jimin doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove either but there’s this tug on his chest that basically yelled at him that he was a shitty friend

hasn’t been an hour ever since you left but he’s kinda sitting there fazed, whatever the other was saying coming in his ear and going out the other

“i lost my charger :(((”

jimin’s mindlessly answering to a pouty namjoon

“y/n has the same laptop. you could just get the charger by her desk”

he says naturally as if it’s clockwork and only waves him off when namjoon asks if it would be okay with you

he smiles at that and practically bounces to your unlocked room

quickly finds your desk and looks for a familiar charger

oh uhm it’s still connected to your laptop

jimin already said it was no worries so namjoon sleekly takes it out of the port with little hesitation

why did your laptop turn on

wait

is that his face??

is that

is that them in a hot tub

jimin’s wondering why namjoon is taking so long

he himself hasn’t been in your room for a long time and the thought makes him spring up

“hyung??”

fuck

oh god

it feels like freezing cold water was just splashed onto their spines without warning

jimin immediately pales

it’s taehyung who piles in last to your bedroom with all the commotion he could hear

he wants to absolutely deck himself 

everyone’s just speechless when they clicked play on the video even when they had this underlying feel to what it was

there’s a collective intake of sharp inhales because they couldn’t even finish the episode in which they basically talk shit about you for a solid three minutes

jimin has his face on his hands and he’s visibly stressed as everyone else is

couldn’t even tell on which blow was the hardest because they were all so harsh in their own ways

basically hit where it hurts most 

they were drunk beyond their comprehension and weren’t necessarily thinking

the episode was filmed pretty much in the first day of bv 

and whatever circumstance that night was in, it was still no excuse

absolutely no excuse to how they acted

maybe they took joking and overexaggerating too far

but whatever route they took, be it honest or not, no doubt that they were sure it hurt you

god a mental breakdown is already creeping at the back for all seven of them

tAEHYUNG’S SOBBING

jimin’s shaking

jungkook’s rubbing his eyes

jin and namjoon are repeating themselves

hobi’s dead silent

yoongi’s hands are practically trembling

it’s when you go home that you’ve momentarily forgotten that everything was going downwards because you spent the last hour or two being distracted by theo in just your pajamas

but it’s when you know that they know

and some can’t even look you in the eye

jimin’s the first to shoot up from his seat and god he looks somehow wrecked

“y/n i-...”

“m’sorry for being introlerable and all of those things, yeah? won’t happen again.”

everyone tenses at that

you shouldn’t even be apologetic!!

in fact they’re the ones who fucked up and you’re the one who’s acting as if you did

this makes them even more guilty

they all pipe in and try to point that out but you just easily drown them out with a tilt of your head

taehyung who’s standing by your doorframe just buffers as if to reach out for you but he retracts it quickly

they’ve really done it this time huh

it’s all just in characteristically empty spirits

the shooting next day was painful

having to drive together and be squished in between yoongi and jungkook whose mouths were so dry and eyes glossy

“i didn’t mean it”

jungkook first says under his breath and it’s quite a hitch in his throat when he adds on to it

“we weren’t thinking at all”

it’s a quiet show as jungkook and yoongi try to apologize to you and you’re in the middle trying to just sit through it all

it’s a quick nod as you have for a response before you hurriedly go down the van in perfect timing

you did listen and the apologies were sincere and heartfelt

just not too keen on forgiving something of that gravity in an instant

even with their promise that they could work something out to have that bit cut out or even scrap the whole episode if necessary

you just couldn’t wait to get the day over

you’re rigid with them and them trying to get to talk to you in between takes

the skits required more of them than you anyway so you just sat that one out

all while they try to get genuine with the feelings and lines indicated in their script

taehyung was the most distracted

even if people expected more of him given his acting credentials

and when it’s your turn to be filmed at, he can’t help staring

you looked blank

there’s this certain hyunbin (and also to your surprise) that’s gonna act as your co-pilot that got to make you smile a time or two after making a fool out of himself

if only taehyung knew that theo’s gonna be here as an extra

he would flip and THEN bawl

and as if things wouldn’t get even more unfavorable for you, they decide to cram in the photoshoot for the billboard at this very day too

multiple shoots of you being in the middle of them with a commercial-like smile

you having a solo one

them having one too

the boys wearing your airline’s flight attendant uniforms

trying to have a candid shot but all of you should be laughing and smiling as per the director

that was painful

that was really painful for the staff to watch

most painful for the eight of you

they even had to count to three so you could laugh together even if that takes away the essence of a candid shot

jimin wants so badly to hold you and talk to you

taehyung wants to get on his knees desperately if it means earning your forgiveness

the shoot raps and you’re zooming out the set

tae breaks down yet again because they’re gonna be held up by your ceo for awhile

:(

things feel empty and slow

everyone got around to texting you their apologies because as much as they’re desperate to apologize, they’ve done enough damage and respecting your space is the least they could do

that doesn’t stop jimin dropping in from time to time to leave something by your door

nor taehyung who doesn’t give up with all his texting and calling and sometimes waiting on your door

jimin and him coincidentially went at the same time and they just teared up and sulked together

you weren’t even home at that time

of course you’ve read their messages

trying to talk it out too as you’ve refused to succumb into your passive-aggressiveness

admittedly

you don’t wanna lose what you have either

:(

it’s only been two weeks so far

progress as you reply to texts here and there

slowly warming up again!!

namjoon earning back his partner for talking about movie symbolisms and perhaps everything wrong in this barren earth

seokjin getting to send you incorrect quotes from cake boss again left and right

hobi gaining his online shopping partner back 

yoongi making you promise that you’d hug him when he gets to see you again

jungkook vowing to teach you how to draw and makes sure to send daily content so he could make you switch wallpapers

jimin

well jimin

jimin’s going over the top as he has a lot to mend

but forgiveness was clear in the path and when you finally agreed to meet up with him after your shift

(he’s made the effort to wait for you in your lounge hours before as he got to pull some strings)

and then when you have a drink over it and talk about what happened properly, it just ends in a massive hug and some tears shed :((

“i missed u so much”

“i know”

“i could really be a fucking asshole sometimes”

“you are”

“you are none of those things and i don’t ever wanna stop having you as my friend”

“aha yes”

“you love me too much and i love you too much and this is forever now ok pls don’t get mad at me ever again”

basically everything was slowly returning back to normal

taehyung hasn’t texted you for a couple of days

even if you barely responded and miss him as much

it’s something you still have to come to terms with because his blows hit the hardest

you’re losing sleep just by thinking about him :(

you try to get on with your days with the knowledge that you get on with the six of them

things becoming more hectic for you because sometimes you forget that you’re famous now

but sometimes it was just lackluster if you were to admit

you basically sprint at the chance to pick up a normal shift again because you’ve missed flying

you liked being pampered for shoots but being tired from flying is the ache you’ve been craving for :((

it’s when you’re briefed that the plane you’d be flying isn’t your usual aircraft yet you still have the clearance for it

it’s when you just had the kick to be extra punctual and jump at the chance to greet passengers boarding

it’s these little extras in your day that you were so eager for things

that things just seem to be aligning

:)

taehyung’s by the front-most seat

hyunbin by his side as he gets up and goes to the cockpit to do nothing but take your place

it’s oddly warm just by looking at taehyung

no apologies have been said yet and it’s when that hyunbin practically says over the mic that “y/n take a seat and put your seatbelt on jesus christ” you do beside tae

the atmosphere’s just a loving type of warm

you really can’t explain it

it’s the same type of slow burn the both of you felt in the outing

the same anticipation you had for each other even if the other was doing the bare minimum

“hi”

taehyung croaks out after an eternity, a grin he tries to earnestly keep as it breaks out

“let’s talk.”

he’s nervous as he sees you relax to your seat, knowing in routine that the plane was to take off 

taehyung ever-so slightly shifts in his seat, shoulders touching with yours and hand in an armrest as he flexes them so slightly -- only supposed to be an attempt at a loving tease but it’s when you shift towards him and have your hand skim his for the slightest fraction

:)

“let’s talk.”

[notnctu]

Hey how are you today ? :) I have a question but don't take it as a critic or anything, but, what is (are) the reason for your departure? Why do you want to log out forever from your blog ? Does your blog reminds you of negative moments who makes you uncomfortable? You don't have to answer tho, I totally respect your decisions! ♡

hello im good today ty for asking!!

let me put a disclaimer that there is nothing that makes me feel uncomfortable about being on here or that its something super serious or that i have issues with writing ff

im also gonna put it under the cut bc its super long and i overshare

reasons why i am leaving was that this blog has always been a temporary thing during quarantine, except I did not predict how big this blog would blow up to be, even surpassing the follower count on my main blog. i had left writing three years ago when i entered college because it was something that takes a lot a lot of my personal time. i only started it back up because we were all stuck at home and me and author xuxi got into nct together, started reading ff and reminisced about the 'old days' of when we would write on our separate accounts. and then we took it farther to actually just drabbling here and there out of boredom and wanted to share it with people. i fell back in love with writing after three years!!

but as you know, the world has slowly started opening back up again and some schools are reopening back to in person instruction, my school being one, and i already know that i would have no time to write. i could barely find time to write when it was online instruction lmaoo along with that, writing has become more of a chore than it being something light and fun, where i could write out my ideas for everyone to read. so i feel pressured to finish projects i promised, making it so its not something that i want to do anymore. like i always have it in the back of my mind, "fuck i need to finish ___" or "i need to write ___" :/ and so i feel like it holds me back from just living my life ig

for the reason why i want to log out and delete the app on my phone is because i chose to leave my blog up so my stories can remain. but i dont want to be on this blog or check it. as long as the app remains on my phone, i would want to click on it to check it routinely on a daily basis. i went on hiatus from feb - april? but i still checked notifications daily in the small moments i had (like lounging around, when i went on my phone before bed, when i checked my notifs when i wake, in the silences during car rides) like checking stats for this blog is so obsessive, im proud of where it has become but i guess im always checking to see if a reader left me kind words on my fic or if i received an ask from one of my anons, i just want to know all the statuses that go on lol and i feel like it distracts me because i can't let go of it. me logging out and deleting the app is my form of letting go, it's my own deactivation of the relationship i have with the blog. i just want to stop dedicating so much of my focus into it? if that makes sense

a small part of me too wants to put writing in the past... i love writing, i say that its a hobby of mine, but like seriously i love writing, it's my way of art expression bc i cant draw or paint for shit lmao i have been writing ff since i was in the 6th grade!! all throughout middle school and high school, and now some parts of college. and i just feel like i love it, but i dont want to pursue it anything more than a hobby and i also dont want to write original characters. i havent really explored writing og and i wouldnt really care to tbh and i feel adrenaline when im writing a passion piece, but i would never write if it wasn't for purpose of publishing it and esp fanfiction, i just want to conclude this part of me.

i know this was super lengthy, but ive kept my reasons of departing to myself, not because its anything incredibly personal, but because my thinking process is long when it came to this decision. i chose the date sep 12 because its the start of training for my club, which requires 100% of my time and so i found that it was just a good marker of when i should take my leave.

i appreciate and i wholehearted love every aspect of this blog; my followers, my works, my mutuals, everyone's feedback, everyone's sweet and kind messages, all the interactions, the aesthetic, all of it is something i thoroughly enjoyed and actually made me so incredibly happy. this blog was my safe haven, which is the reason why i can't deactivate it. there are so many parts of this blog that i come back to just to smile (my birthday wishes, my mutuals' support, feedback on stories i worked my ass off for, stories that i am genuinely so proud of, my own shit posts sometimes lmao) this blog is a time capsule of a moment in my life where life was paused and i could literally pass every day as if they were all the same and i could write with no other distractions. and i want to come back to it someday, although it would be long forgotten and untouched, but just to look back and reminisce (again) about the 'old days'.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[tirednotflirting]

darling, you're the one i want

hi i wrote merrikat. based on paper rings. it’s pretty cute i’m pretty happy w it. esp bc it’s the first thing i’ve managed to start and complete in uhhhh over a month : ) sooooo yeah

here it is on ao3 if that’s more ur jam

Jack didn’t know love could feel like this. So loud and quiet all at the same time. So careful and turbulent and everything in between. He considers how something like that can be as he takes a sip from the wine he had found waiting for him on the kitchen island (accompanied by a sticky note with Zack’s messy handwriting telling him for you :) sorry about the long day xx). He lets his head rest against his palm as he leans against the counter, a small tired smile pulling across his cheeks as he catches the cologne on the sleeve of the hoodie he’d found waiting for him on the bed after changing into something comfier. (Another sticky note with a lopsided smiley face had been sitting on top of the soft, worn hoodie.)

There had been a third sticky note (this one with just a heart drawn in the center of it) on the box of takeout waiting for Jack in the fridge after he had come downstairs from the office after a long afternoon of livestream interviews with Alex. He always felt a lot of something in the direction of guilt when there was work to be done on his visits out to see Zack despite the teasing remarks he would receive reminding him that we are literally coworkers, Jack.

But now it doesn’t matter because the day is done. Any kind of negative feeling Jack had felt prior to coming down to the kitchen dissipated the second he saw the glass of wine and Zack’s patient face looking down at whatever book he had picked up to read next. From Jack’s spot at the island he can see his boy settled into the couch on the back deck that sits just in front of the big window in the kitchen.

Another paradox from the seemingly endless list of them comes to mind then as he watches the sun slip toward the horizon, the sky a swirling mix of oranges and pinks. He feels like he’s loved the man sitting on the other side of the window for both 20 minutes and 20 years and again, he wonders how that can be.

He’d loved Zack since they were teenagers and yet the relationship they had now had somehow still snuck up on them both. Drunken cuddles at parties turned into sober cuddles before soundcheck. Giggling kisses against cheeks while they ran around on stage in the middle of a show turned into Jack in Zack’s lap while making out on the tour bus couch. (Jack laughs to himself at the memory of Alex rolling his eyes while Rian was cracking up as he accepted a $20 bill after they’d wandered into the back lounge that night. Jack and Zack had only blinked in confusion at each other as they heard Alex grumbling that you guys just had to figure your shit out on a Tuesday, huh? as he went off in the direction of his bunk.)

It wasn’t how Jack was used to a relationship happening. It had felt so easy. He didn’t know it could be this easy. When he tried questioning it early on, Alex had only laughed. You’re best friends, what did you expect? Nothing ever felt complicated with Zack. Jack found himself thinking it was something he could get used to, something he wanted to get used to.

Three years in and they’re something in the realm of settled down despite the nature of their career never really leaving them in one place for too long. It had been Zack’s idea for them to spend the couple of weeks off on this tour at his place before catching a flight back to LA for more rehearsals. Time felt like it moved slower on the island (though if Jack’s being honest, anywhere moves slower than LA) and it was something he was thankful for. Every moment with Zack was something to be savored.

He picks up his glass and heads in the direction of the back door. After shutting the door behind him, he turns back to see Zack marking his place in his book with a receipt before dropping it against the coffee table sitting in front of him. Jack takes the spot beside him and smiles into the kiss he’s pulled into before settling against the cushions. With his free hand, he traces along the tattoos around Zack’s shoulder in the fading sunlight. “How was your afternoon?” Jack asks, finally breaking the comfortable silence, as his fingers trail down Zack’s arm to tangle their fingers together.

Zack smiles down at their joined hands before lifting them to press his lips against Jack’s knuckles. “Productive,” he hums with a smile. “Rearranged some stuff in the garage, went to the store. Found this plant while I was there that looked like it needed some love. I��ll show you in the morning, the flowers are a pretty color.”

Jack smiles brightly. Regardless of how long he comes out to visit, they settle so quickly into domesticity. It’s overwhelming, he thinks, but not in a way that scares him. It’s always felt easy to fall into a routine with Zack.

“Looking forward to it.”

Zack asks him about his day and Jack recalls on the afternoon of answering the same four questions over and over again for different radio stations all across the country and the way he basically had Alex’s answers to them memorized by the end of the day. He tells him about the story one of the interviewers told them about their first All Time Low show (Zack had thrown them a pick in 2010 and they apparently still had it inside a box of concert memories from over the years) and the cat that had wandered into the frame on one of the calls.

Eventually they settle back into another comfortable, lazy quiet. Their joined hands sit against Zack’s thigh, his thumb tracing circles in Jack’s palm, as they watch the sun take its time saying its daily goodbye to the world. A light breeze picks up, just enough to keep them cool. Jack takes a deep breath and despite the fact that his entire adult life has been spent quite literally living out his wildest dreams every damn day, if he was asked to stay stuck in one moment forever, it would be this one.

“I wish everyday could end like this,” Jack sighs as his head falls to rest against Zack’s shoulder after taking another sip from his glass. “This is really nice.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I would mind if forever had this view,” Zack answers. Jack assumes he’s referring to the last bit of sunset playing out before them over the mountains but then he feels a pair of lips press against his hair and he looks up to meet Zack’s tired eyes looking down fondly.

“Forever is a big word, mister,” Jack jokes with a blush, his eyes blinking up at Zack’s. Though he hopes it doesn’t come out as though he’s disagreeing.

“You’re right,” Zack laughs while tossing an arm around Jack’s shoulders to pull him closer to his side. His eyes pull away from Jack’s to look back out at the sky and they’re both silent, their breathing and the buzz of the approaching dusk becoming their evening soundtrack.

Jack lets his eyes fall shut, the calmness surrounding them making him sleepier than he felt before coming out to join his boy. He’s seconds away from the short sleep that Zack will allow him before dragging them both back inside to watch one of those documentaries they’ve been watching after dinner for the last few weeks.

“Marry me?”

Jack’s eyes shoot open as he turns his head up to face Zack whose eyes are still trained on the pink-purple sky rapidly shifting to a dark blue. “What?”

He shifts to sit up and Zack turns to face him then while the last bit of light adds a sparkle to his eyes. He smiles lazily as he lifts a hand to cup Jack’s cheek. Jack barely notices the way he instinctively leans into his gentle touch. “I want every sunset with you,” Zack whispers into the space between them. “I want every sunrise with you, even if it’s just you whining over how early it is.” Jack softly laughs as his mind briefly drifts to thoughts of clingy, early mornings before speeding back to the present.

“I want forever with you. Longer than forever, really. But I’m not sure that’s real.”

Jack laughs again while his vision blurs and lets Zack wipe away the single tear he feels starting to fall down his cheek. “Who cares if it’s real? That was so fucking romantic, you sap.”

“Are you going to give me an answer or do I have to wait until I get a ring for that?”

“Zack, babe, you could propose with one of your sticky notes and I’d say yes every damn time. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Zack pulls him in by the waist to press their lips together. As his eyes flutter shut, Jack feels another tear roll down cheek and when he pulls away several moments later, he can’t help but laugh at the watery eyes looking back at him as well.

“That could be arranged, though,” Zack says suddenly before quickly leaning across to kiss Jack’s forehead before pushing up from the couch and slipping inside. Jack is left with a confused smile pulling at his lips as he’s not entirely sure what Zack could mean by that.

Only a couple minutes pass before Zack returns, a folded sticky note and a roll of tape in his hands. He takes his spot back on the couch and looks up to meet Jack’s eyes, his blush just barely visible in the twilight.

“Okay, give me your hand,” Zack instructs. Jack starts catching on then what he’s doing and laughs as he lifts his left hand up in between them. Zack’s bottom lip gets caught between his teeth as he delicately wraps the bright pink paper around Jack’s ring finger and secures the loop with a small piece of tape.

“There,” Zack smiles, admiring his work before looking up to meet Jack’s eyes. “Perfect.”

“You really are,” Jack mumbles as he gently shakes his head at the man in front of him.

Zack laughs, the blush still painting his cheeks as he rolls his eyes. “Okay, Mr Cheesy. This will work until we can get you something shiny.”

“I don’t need shiny, Zack. I promise.” Jack replies.

“If we show up back in Baltimore to celebrate with everyone about this and you have a sticky note wrapped around your finger, both of our mothers and Alex will kill me,” Zack counters.

“Alright, you’re probably right,” Jack shrugs. “But just for the record, this is fucking adorable regardless.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Zack smiles as he moves to link their fingers together again before standing. “Should we go Facetime the boys and the fam to tell them?”

“Of course,” Jack nods as he lets himself get led back into the house. “Do you think they bet on this too?”

“Oh, I’m sure they did,” Zack replies as he reaches for Jack’s glass and a second one from the shelf for himself before opening the fridge to find the bottle of wine. “I’m sure Alex is going to lose again, too. Rian is too good at this kind of thing. Let me go grab my phone.”

Jack takes a seat at the counter and watches Zack jog up the stairs. He smiles down at the paper wrapped around his finger and sighs. His mind wanders around what forever will look like, what it’ll feel like with a big party and vows and an added weight on his left hand. As Zack reenters the room, the brightest smile pulling at his lips as Jack hears a shy voice excitedly stumbling through an introduction to their best friends followed by so we have some news, all he can think about is how he can’t wait to get used to this too.

*

[teamjacobthot]

twilight saga character tag!

thank you sm @softtwihoe for tagging me <3 i feel like im still new to the renaissance fandom on tumblr even tho i never stopped being a twihard so shit like this warms my heart <3

now my spicy twilight takes………………...

1. Character you find most relatable to you as a person?

the love of my life, without a doubt, 100% leah clearwater. mfs tried to make her feel bad for feeling her feelings but she was valid in all of them. also its canon that shes a scorpio but yall aint hear it from me

rosalie bc we have similar trauma (lmao :/) and like to disagree with people. i also love big dumb men

edward. as a fellow whiny musical pissbaby who cant let shit go, i get it

2. Character that didn’t have a POV in the books or certain unfinished manuscripts, but you wish did?

ok maybe this is super underground but sue!!! mf!!! clearwater!!! she had allllllll the tea on the pack and tbh i really wanted to see how she and her family were before and after harry’s death. that event was a really big deal (outside of just bella and edward) and set shit OFF in new moon

billy bc he also had hella tea and i bet he was super fucking conflicted during the ENTIRE saga bc he couldnt say shit to charlie!!! that shit sounds rough!!!!!

quil bc he was the last to phase and i just wanna know what he was going thru. he would’ve had hellaaaaa jokes too but smeyer doesnt care abt nonwhite characters so :/

charlie, assuming he supports the black lives matter movement

i guess overall i just wanna know how EVERYONE was doing in new moon bc that story ran DEEP. i want a midnight sun for new moon but for every character

nobody asked but new moon is the best in the saga and new moon stans have the best pussy

3. Character that’s underrated and deserves more recognition?

the entire wolf pack but wbk

riley but tbh i think its bc i just loved xavier samuel in the eclipse movie

the denali coven!!!! their story was incredible imo and while irina was a snitch, i understand why she snitched. she didnt deserve to die. the denalis deserve so much better and while garrett is cool to have around, that doesnt fill the void that irina left bc the volturi decided to be a bunch of haters. i want them to heal so bad. 

tanya gets a bad rep for having a crush on edward but she deserves better too

i’d like to read abt the vacations that the denalis with the cullens too

oh and all thats just BESIDES the succubus legend that tanya and kate and irina started in canon!!!!!!!! like??????????????????? they fucked and killed human men??????????? thats the story i wanna READ bitch!!!! thats my jennifer’s body (2009) fantasy!!!!! smeyer is a coward tho

btw carmen and esme are girlfriends :)

4. Character you thought was unnecessary for the story?

ok besides the obvious, and nobody drag me for it, but bree tanner. I get she was there to show us how fucked up the volturi are and to sorta predict bella as a newborn but……...we already knew the volturi kill mfs just for fun. if the cullens werent gonna adopt her we really didnt need many details on her. and regarding the newborn thing, bree’s role as a newborn didnt really mean shit bc bella ended up being ~the perfect newborn~ anyway!!!! smeyer tried to sell us the short second life of bree tanner as if there arent other worthy characters of having a spinoff novella about like leah or seth or rosalie or emmett or charlie or resume from bella’s ovary. that being said………..

resume, for multiple reasons including:

resume literally shouldnt exist. vampires shouldnt be able to have working sperm and even then, edward shouldve pulled out. he could barely even tongue kiss bella so wtf made him think he could cum in her????? whyyy didnt he use his big vampire brain to consider that????? 

resume seemed totally unwanted and unthought of??? bella and edward were so mf absorbed in each other like regular teen couples (with 1000x the intensity but still) that it didnt seem likely that theyd want a baby after fucking like three times anyway. miss bella “fuck them kids” swan also gave no indication of wanting children. ever. EYE would have simply aborted and went on to live my best vampire life :)

resumes existence defeats the purpose of imprinting bc theres no way she’d be able to conceive with jacob. at all. but we know smeyer doesnt think shit through

smeyer writing in resume ruined jacobs character even more esp coming off the shitshow that was eclipse. periodt

5. Top 5 female characters?

leah <3

rosalie

bella

sue

angela

6. Top 5 male characters?

jacob (pre-eclipse but that’s implied)

emmett

seth

quil/paul (i love them equally)

edward’s dumb ass <3 sometimes

7. Character interaction that didn’t happen but you wish it did?

rosalie and edward but only under the condition that he finally stops being a misogynistic pissbaby towards her and accepts her for the sexy legend that she is. i feel like they’d get along well but smeyer is anti-hottie and anti-talent so i guess we’ll never know :/

leah and someone who loves her and respects her and validates her feelings :)

JACOB AND HIS SISTERS. OR EVEN JUST RACHEL. she literallyyyyyyyyyy came home after YEARS in breaking dawn but he was too busy simping over bella to acknowledge her??? huh???

bella and a licensed therapist

edward and a licensed therapist

8. Character that deserves more development?

the whole entire wolf pack but wbk

more specifically, embry. whooooom is his father???

emmett. like we get it hes funny and hot but like……….spare depth maam? any spare depth????

9. Character who is your total opposite?

jasper bc he fought for people who look like me to be ENSLAVED and the fandom lets it slide for whatever reason :|

10. Character you warmed up to after experiencing the Renaissance?

edward, in some ways. i relate to him when im feeling extra self-loathing but then i get over it lmao. he’s still stupid tho

i used to think alice was annoying af (and i still kinda do tbh) but as a fashion hoe, i get it

charlie, sorta, even tho he’s a cop. i wasnt there for the original conversation on here but do yall think he supports black lives matter? idk tbh but we’ll never know bc smeyer probably doesnt know what police brutality is. anyways ive really enjoyed the discourse on his relationship with bella and how he doesnt trust edward

jacob <3 he’s always been my heart, my soul, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple, etc. but i love the posts that other fans/nonhaters have been making abt how warm and kind he was before smeyer fucked him over and how he deserves so much better. its like yes im glad youre seeing all the things that make me a team jacob thot :)

idk if yall have already been tagged but im tagging @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahclearvvater and @bellas-dumptruck-ass! also anyone can fill this out and say i tagged them <3

[alextriestowritestuff]

Mark of Athena Re-read

Hey guys! If you’ve been keeping up with my last couple of posts, you’ll know I’ve been re-reading the Heroes of Olympus (HoO) series by Rick Riordan, starting with the Son of Neptune. If you want to my thoughts on it (spoilers included) and my background with the series, click here. I made a little bit of rant post about my feelings about the HoO series overall so far and you can find that here! This post will be about the Mark of Athena (MoA) and as always, spoilers abound.

Soooo y’all...I think this book is worse than the Lost Hero. I feel so bad for saying that bc I hated tLH (Like I’d give that book 2 stars) but god, this was so bad. No wonder I forgot what happened when I originally read it. Before I get into it, I will say I’m usually not negative in my ‘reviews’-I’ll give credit where it’s due (I did that in tSoN with Hazel and Frank who weren’t really my fav characters to start with) but this book has very little redeemable aspects imo. So I’ll start with the thing I was most irritated about: Piper.

Piper...Piper...Piper. Gods, none of her chapters ever passed the Bechdel test. I DESPISE her and I hated every single one of her chapters. With characters like Frank, I admitted that sometimes his chapters were a bit boring but I never hated the guy’s narration. Piper, however, is an insecure hypocrite. Let me show you.

So at one point, Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel meet up with Aphrodite. The POV is Annabeth’s and while Aphrodite is talking to them, it seems like Piper is just embarrassed to have her around. 

“Mother!” Piper said. “You’re embarrassing me.” “Well, I don’t see why,” the goddess said. “Just because you don’t appreciate my fashion tips, Piper, doesn’t mean the others won’t. I could do a quick makeover for Annabeth and Hazel, perhaps silk ball gowns like mine—” “Mother!” 

And a few lines later she says again “ ‘Mother, Piper said, “is there a reason you’re here?’” (30). 

Okay so someone tell me why this girl says 10 pages later “But also, Piper was secretly hurt not to have her mother to herself. Aphrodite had barely looked at her. She hadn’t said a word about Jason. She hadn’t bothered explaining her conversation with Reyna at all. It was almost as if Aphrodite no longer found Piper interesting. Piper had gotten her guy. Now it was up to her to make things work, and Aphrodite had moved on to newer gossip as easily as she might toss out an old copy of a tabloid magazine” (40). LIKE GIRL MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Do you want your mom’s attention or not? But I’m highkey interested in what Aphrodite said to Reyna tho.

Let’s talk about Reyna for a second. First off, I feel so bad for her?? Percy turned her down-fine, he has a gf. Then I thought Jason had feelings for her but he says this in MoA, page 19: “It’s just…I never felt that way toward Reyna,” Jason said, “so I didn’t think about its making you uncomfortable. You’ve got nothing to worry about, Pipes”. Like damn can Reyna get any love?? I get that he doesn’t like her anymore since he met Piper but to have never liked her? That’s rough. And notice how this quote is from page 19, but again on p. 40, Piper is still so insecure in their relationship. I don’t she’s listened to a word he said at all. Then towards the end of the book, she says oh I love you but she literally didn’t know the man’s age prior to that. Like what?? Did they even kiss this book? I think like once lmao. Also speaking of the birthday thing, Piper says this while she waits for Jason to blow out his birthday candles.

“Well?” she urged. “Blow out the candles.”

Jason did. Piper wondered if he’d made a wish—hopefully that he and Piper would survive this quest and stay together forever. She decided not to ask him. She didn’t want to jinx that wish, and she definitely didn’t want to find out that he’d wished for something different. 

Me @ Jason: This your girl? Come get her. Because Imma hurt her feelings. What do you mean you want him to wish to stay together forever? He should wish for Gaea to you know die so everyone can be safe. If I ever met Piper in person, I’d fight her. ON SIGHT. 

In a related note, I’ve got nothing to say about Jason. He was fine. He passed out alot during this book, didn’t do much for how hyped his powers are supposed to be. I will say when he and Percy were possessed and they fought each other, Percy totally won that fight. He knocked Jason the hell out and was about to end his whole career until Piper got Blackjack to knock him out. But overall, I think Jason’s rather bland and him and Piper have NO chemistry. But I don’t think he deserves insecure Piper as a girlfriend. She’s a whole ass child of Aphrodite and she’s worried about her relationship...let me move on.

My main issue with the book lies in the structure and plot. The previous two books had 3 narrators and each set of trio had a specific prophecy assigned to them-i.e: Percy, Hazel and Frank had to free death, retrieve the eagle. The prophecies are a catalyst to get them to go on the quest. And then obviously, we have the overarching prophecy of the seven that will come to fruition in small chunks until the last book of the series. That’s fine. So the issue with MoA is that now Rick is handling seven characters + Coach Hedge (like why was he necessary??). He has 4 POVs which threw me the hell off bc we had 3 in the previous two books and honestly, I think we could’ve gone without one of them (Percy’s actually). As a writer, it’s hard to balance multiple characters in the same setting constantly. If they have a conversation, one or two of them will have less lines because other characters have already said them. Therefore to give everyone adequate ‘screen time’, Rick had to separate them by keeping groups of three or two on their own side quest. As a result, however, reading the book felt like I was being brake checked constantly. Ex-We follow Percy, Frank, and Hedge to an Aquarium then we follow Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper to meet Aphrodite, then they encounter the Romans, then Piper and Jason meet Hercules and get the horn and so on. Like they’re constantly shifting and doing stuff but not going as a group so it feels like I’m constantly trying to catch up. There’s too many pit stops for my liking. And I deadass have no idea what most of it had to with the MoA prophecy. 

This disjointed-ness is what makes me rate it lower than tLH. Because while I didn’t like Piper or Jason in that book, it was still cohesive. There was a plot and it was followed. Another reason I might feel this way toward MoA is because Rick has a formula and it’s starting to be predictable. Think about the original Greek myths-there’s one main demigod like Hercules, there’s a quest, there’s godly interference so it makes sense the the PJO/HoO characters have the same thing. But all this talking to gods (esp gods we’ve already met like Aphrodite) is taking up so much space and slowing the plot. It also didn’t help that the minor villians in this book are all unlikeable?? All they did was talk. Otis and Ephialtes. Porchy and Keto. Arachane. All they did was talk. Here’s how to defeat a PJO/HoO villain: con them to help you/let you go or fight them. That’s it. 

This book is where I started to really regret reading the series. Like I was just over it. The plot was somehow slow and all over the place at the same time. The last couple of chapters were good because I was like finally, something relevant to the prophecy is happening. 

Let me leave you guys with some positives about this book though:

1. Annabeth’s POV. What a gal. When she faces Arachane, Annabeth mentions that she doesn’t have an active power like the other Seven but she has her intelligence. And I’m like yes girl, you are brave and everything I want to be. I would read the PJO series from her POV over this series.

2. Percabeth. They kept promising to come back to each other and my heart melted. Percy was so worried about letting her go follow the Mark but he knew it’s what she had to do and he let her go. And ugh, them falling got me all over again. And like just their chemistry is off the charts. Piper and Jason could never. 

3.  Percy’s comments about Luke. Percy realizes that he’s around Luke’s age when Luke went all ‘Gods are bad, their children are pawns’ and like I get chills from reading that passage because you can tell Percy’s tired. He can’t have a life because of these quests, he’s constantly moments away from dying. He never really got a chance to be a teenager. And I get he wants to help people and keep the world from being taken over by bad guys but he’s also human. He’s seen demigods die...he’s traumatized. Like Percy, I really understand Luke better now (right idea, wrong execution) and l see how tired Percy is. 

4. The Leo/Hazel/Frank disaster of a love triangle. Like I’ve mentioned before, I want Hazel, a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD child, to be left the hell alone when it comes to romance. But because Uncle Rick insists on pairing up everyone, I have to oblige. So here I am. The amount of times I cackled at Frank and Leo’s digs at each other is astronomical. Like shots were fired, no one held back. I was like is this even MG/lower end of YA anymore with all this salt?? Over the years I’ve been spoiled about the series so I know that Leo somehow ends up with Calypso so I know nothing will come out of the love triangle (and it seems to be wrapping up bc Leo and Frank complimented each other’s abilities toward the end there) but passive aggressive-ness was peak. 

5. Every single conversation between Reyna and Annabeth. Like two powerhouses talking about wanting to save their camps and the world. I loved it. Hands down. I hope they can be friends when this is all over. 

6. And lastly, the reunion of Percabeth. The Judo flip. The fact that Percy talked about having a future with her. 

Thanks for reading if you made it down here and I’ll see you guys in a couple of days with my House of Hades update. This book and the one after it I’m reading for the first time ever so I’m going in semi blind (like I said, I know some spoilers). I’m currently on chapter 2 or 3 of that and ermm, it was a weak intro but I’ll keep going :) rooting for Percabeth to make it through. 

[jennycalendar]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[psi-psina]

Namba Hatch 25/26 ♡

04/25

00. SE

01. 谿壑の欲 

02. Downfall 

03. 人間を被る 

04. 理由 

05. Ash 

06. Rubbish  Heap

07. DOZING GREEN

08. 赫 

09. Celebrate Empty Howls

10. undecided 

11. Ranunculus 

12. Devote My Life

13. 軽蔑と始まり

14. Values of Madness

15. 詩踏み 

16. Followers 

17. 鬼眼 

18. Revelation of mankind

19. THE DEEPER VILENESS 

20. 冷血なりせば

I’ll get straight to the point, Kyo was very disappointed tonight and he ended the show really pissed off. He didn’t go very crazy during encore and at the end of Reiketsu he just leaned on his crate for a moment and then turned around and walked off, well before it was all over. 

Kyo visited kamite during Values of Madness, and according to a couple of people there, there were a couple of idiots goofing around chatting with each other and taking photos of the show. Kyo very abruptly stopped singing and he did shout at them (“You fucking idiots/jerks” - obviously not with the mic) and REALLY threw down the mic, and retreated, showing us his back for a number of beats before picking it up again. I only actually saw from when he threw down the mic because I had been headbanging and had an obstructed view so I didn’t know what had caused him to react like that until after the show. And it’s been well reported already that there was also an obnoxious group up on the balcony who were apparently drunk, and also just standing around chatting and causing problems. I had a fairly obstructed view for parts of the set last night and in shimote at least the crowd was very energetic, so I had trouble taking everything in. 

Overall the crowd tonight was definitely a mixed bag and also a bit of a mess, right from the start. During the rush forward I fell due to like 3 people stacking it in front of me and one girl losing her shoe. I hope no one was badly hurt, I got a scrape on my knee weirdly, and also hurt my right foot. 😂 

The sound seemed a liiiiiiitle bit off for a Hatch show tonight? I don’t know if that had anything to do with the poorer impression of the show.

The other guys were pretty normal but were not as energetic as they were in Nagoya, especially Toshiya. Kaoru went over to kamite I think twice and Toshiya maybe 3 times over the whole night and I also don’t recall any of them visiting Shinya tonight, which they have been doing at least once at the other shows. Kyo and Die did not visit shimote ONCE the whole night. :( Overall they were not very active. But honestly, with all that being said, I gave everything I could and I still had a fantastic live. There was just a bit of an awkward feeling at times.

They opened with Keigaku again and I didn’t get to writing about this in the Nagoya report idk I just forgot but can I just say….Keigaku live is just on a whole other fuckin level…the sheer extent of how EPIC this song is live and how good those SUCCULENT transitions are without TIW’s mix dampening them is BEYOND, GUYS. IT. IS. BEYOND. Absolutely lap. that. shit. up!!! Also, Keigaku is SUCH a good opener like ARGGGG I love it sooo much. AND THEN DOWNFALL AND NINGEN TONIGHT AHHHH!!! Such a response, I could just let all my feelings out. 😭 I wanted to try to pay more attention to what is shown on the screen during Downfall and Rubbish Heap tonight but I utterly failed. RUBBISH HEAP tonight was THE BEST!! I didn’t see shit because I was too busy headbanging and jumping and screaming!

Celebrate Empty Howls did not land tonight, there was a weird shift in the mood during this song because the crowd tonight just didn’t really connect to it imho. I blame this on it’s placement in the setlist again. It genuinely felt like no one, not even particularly Kyo, was really in the mood for Celebrate tonight after Aka, esp because Dozing and Aka were so so spellbinding, everyone was deep in this atmosphere and then Celebrate just didn’t really work with it (that was my feeling). Tonight I probably felt Celebrate the least out of any night. undecided and Ranunculus followed and Kyo again cried horribly when he sang undecided, but this performance also had a…different feeling. Tonight he had this hopelessness when singing undecided that I have't seen at the other lives….during the previous lives even when he wept he sang with this strength and soulfulness that completely broke my heart and made me cry. Tonight it was more broken. 

When Kyo spoke to us during encore, he spoke us very roughly and also largely without the mic. He snarled and truly riled us as much as he could, he also growled “BOBOZAGA” twice. 

The Deeper Vileness went beyond my wildest dreams and I managed to get a look at Kaoru during the PITCH and oh my god his expression. if the sentiment of “i am a fucking GOD” could be distilled into a single expression, that was it. He looked so fucking satisfied and honestly I just lost it. Also had a spectacular time of Reiketsu, truly, it was overall a fantastic live and I’m genuinely sorry that Kyo's impression of the night was turned to shit by various things. He didn’t headbang Reiketsu but left the stage almost immediately after the final “SUCK ME” (fitting final words…) and that was when his displeasure became extremely clear to me.

04/26

00. SE

01. 赫 

02. Downfall 

03. 人間を被る 

04. Rubbish Heap 

05. Ash 

06. Values of Madness

07. DOZING GREEN

08. 谿壑の欲 

09. Celebrate Empty Howls

10. undecided 

11. Ranunculus 

12. Devote My Life

13. 軽蔑と始まり 

14. 獣慾 

15. 詩踏み 

16. Followers 

17. 鬼眼 

18. Sustain the untruth

19. GRIEF 

20. 冷血なりせば

Tonight was a true Namba Hatch show from start to finish. It was ROUGH in the pit and the intensity of the fans was totally consuming. Kyo’s words after the first day had a very, very clear effect. I ended up being in the Kyo pit after two crushes and the absolute fervor to give him satisfaction tonight was extremely palpable. You could feel it from all sides. And despite not containing Vileness, this setlist is also at least 70% better than the other variation; Celebrate was a BLAST tonight and works a thousand times better following Keigaku, and Juuyoku bests Wake at literally any table. (I kinda wish they’d left out Wake entirely on this tour tbh, it’s not that I haven't appreciated the song itself, there are just songs that’d work soooo much better in it’s place…especially bc it’s still weirdly paired up with Ash).

I truly can’t write much about this night due to the sheer intensity of it. Words are lacking and I’m also still physically recovering from it. During Juuyoku I was having abdominal pain from the exertion and I was pretty dizzy for most of Utafumi. It was like the 2nd night at Shinkiba with the intensity dialled up by 1000%. We were packed together and while it was violent, the violence arose from the sheer intensity and VOLUME of energy everyone was giving, not from being selfish or inconsiderate; no one around me was treating other people like an obstacle, the overall feeling was remarkably supportive.

I will say that this was genuinely Kyo’s night, it was his finale. I don’t know why, but like on the first night, the other guys were not even trying to compete with him for attention and really seemed just….pretty chill. Toshiya came to the middle once or twice but didn’t go to kamite at all and Kaoru and Die really only moved around the stage during Sustain (far as I can remember). They weren’t particularly working the crowd but just gave pretty normal performances. This ain’t no criticism!!!! I’m just not used to having such a lack of impressions from the other guys, but it definitely didn’t help that I was in Kyo pit.

Kyo absolutely SHOWERED both sides with attention during Sustain, he was absolutely LIVING ♡ and holy shit I could not BELIEVE the sound that went up from shimote when he went over there, the roaring was drowning out the instruments for me. 😁 I distinctly remember Kaoru coming over to stand in front of us during Sustain and I was about to go crazy but a;skjdnf Kyo was distracting LITERALLY EVERYONE over in shimote, and no one really shouted, and my “KAORU KAORU KAORU!!!!!!!!’s” were totally drowned out by everyone else alskdnf and he just stood there chillin’ staring off into the middle distance, I was like ALKSJND BITCH! I’M LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE FOR YOU!!! UGH! I miss you, I just want one ROAR face!! KAJNsdljn

There was only one damper on the atmosphere during the whole night and it was during undecided when about three people in the Kyo pit needed help from staff, I think they needed water and at least one person had to be pulled out. People were definitely trying to disrupt as little as possible but, it can’t be helped. So undecided was a little bit muted because of this distraction but everyone remained gracious. Kyo’s performance was more sedate, but he still wept.

I wept during Ranunculus, again. Not as badly as in Shinkiba (day 2), which was UGLY. Ranunculus never fails to bring tears but obviously some nights are a lot worse than others. Hearing Kyo’s heavy/shaking breaths at the end/throughout the song is also just too much to bear.

Followers was absolutely wonderful tonight, it’s truly a song you wanna be in front of Kyo for ♡ and oh man the feeling that was given tonight…I can’t put words to it 😭

There was one song…I think it was Ash, at the end of it Kyo knelt on his crate and mussed up his hair so it stuck out everywhere and bared his teeth at us in this very mischievous grin. ♡

Kyo spoke with great passion during the encore, he told us to fucking lose our voices, lose our necks and i LOVE seeing him headbang like this again! Bobozaga did not make another appearance.

He collapsed after Reiketsu and then made it over to the drums where he lit a cigarette and took a moment and then came back to the front with a water bottle. He looked extremely replete ♡ He splashed us with water a bit and threw the bottle in, and he also went to shimote and splashed two girls on the rail with water and gave one of them the bottle 🙏🏾 He came back to the centre and threw in his towel after wiping his face with it. He put his hand on his heart and called out “Osaka” and also blew us a fox kiss before he waved bye-bye. ♡♡♡

these are extremely incomplete but it’s basically all I can manage ♡ I met so many people on this tour and there are a number that I am extremely thankful for, I’m looking forward to the autumn tour and hopefully a number of reunions very, very much ♡

I love Dir so much ♡

[kitherondxle]

quoaad review there are only spoilers you’ve been warned

first of all i didn’t really like the book, i dont think it was bad per se i think it’s been a year and a half and a lot has changed in my life esp preference wise so i think the excitement was a little more gone than i realized

its weird because this book took a year and a half to complete, but it still felt rushed? unedited? there was repetition in some parts and some reveals were thrown in there so casually that it almost seemed as if edited in as an afterthought

i’ll use kit’s reveal as an example. jem told emma about kit at the start of the book yet emma literally did not think about it ONCE until the end. i’m not just saying this as a kit fan, she was in faerie and saw the whole royal drama and even at the mention of the true heir kit didn’t cross her mind? emma isn’t stupid how did she completely disregard all that? it felt unprofessional on cassie’s part

so. much. romance. oh my god. we get it ! people have sex ! listen i don’t really care about any of these pairings other than kitty and sizzy, maybe that’s why it bothered me, but i thought there are much larger things at stake and all the romantic drama was just annoying.. i’m sorry... i just didn’t care about any of it except for kit and ty but i’ll talk about that later. 

jace and clary... hunnies..... not your fault but i’m tired of reading about them and the epilogue has clary’s name again... she had her series, by now she apparently had all tmi/tda just for her and now another one? i’m tired of reading about her and jace felt dead this book other than the times he spoke to kit which i really appreciated actually. 

the end was so dramatic and a little underwhelming too. emma and julian turning into huge all destroying angels that shine gold? first of all, we’ve seen that before. second of all. it was dumb. im sorry. maybe im older and that’s why all of these themes bothered me but i felt like the whole plot was dumbed down which is upsetting cause tda’s set up was the most intricate out of all of cassie’s books so far 

kit and ty.... kit herondale saved the book for me and ty disappointed me although i kind of get where he’s coming from and his character is complex in more ways than one so i cannot as easily predict what he’ll do. i really hoped kitty would be an angst-free cassie clare ship but clearly that’s impossible and i’m so annoyed we have to wait another three years to see them interact after the horrible way they left off too... i’m just sad okay. they’re sweet. kit fucking yelled that he loves ty in his face... i get why he was upset after but i just wish they’d talk........ idk if ty has the mindset to really like kit back which is the only reason i kind of forgive him but when kit disappeared and ty didn’t even react and didn’t ask about him in the next scene? it just felt ooc... disappointing. 

KIT HERONDALE. i love you. that’s all i’ll say about you for now. he’s the only pov i looked forward too and ngl the only pov i was reading instead of skimming by the end of the book. he’s the best character cassie’s ever created and i will love him forever. can’t wait to see how he’ll grow up with tessa and jem i have really high hopes for him and his powers are too much fun. a little op but .... if it’s kit i forgive him for anything i love him THAT much. 

also povs... sooooo manyyyyy fuckingggg povs!!!! i dont think i actually read one diego chapter im sorry like i just DONT CARE!!! helen povs are valid though. lesbians always win. 

overall... haven’t even rated the book yet because i wanted to love it soooo bad i promise.. but it just. ugh. it was disappointing. it felt rushed even though cassie had a year and a half to write it and really really underwhelming. i think part of the reason i lost so much patience was the million povs and the constant romance and all the fucking !! maybe its because her previous books were so pg but it felt out of place and unnecessary.. im not against sex in books but here it was like every pov at one point. relax. or skip it. give me more kit chapters instead. 

few more things:

i love ash, so excited for more of him, his dru fixation is a little annoying to me though because it seems too love at first sight but im curious to see where it’ll lead. 

helen and aline, i love you two!!!!! GO GO LESBIANS ! 

idk why i expected more from diana’s reveal... it felt like the kit reveal earlier. just thrown in there because cassie suddenly remembered she should include it

livia... it was too sad seeing her. the whole thule or whatever that place is called im sorry it was interesting? but kind of ..? idk it just felt really awkwardly described especially ash??????? wasn’t ash in their world????? how is he also so involved in thule?????? julian and emma landing on the beach and conveniently the whole army is there????? it just felt badly written

i dont care abt the tmi characters im sorry except simon and izzy bc we barely see them but the rest slkdfjkdsfj i get they’re the foundation of cassie’s whole shadowhunter world but i’m much more interested in the current characters

the kieran/cristina/mark situation.... felt zero chemistry there and i really didn’t like it but glad polyamory getting representation but sighs. more reason for cassie to write sex. 

julian.. my anti-hero........ you had so much potential 

kit herondale. once again thank you for saving this book. i love you forever

im still excited for the next series but i’m just a little upset right now. i was really looking forward to this and i spent most of the book annoyed. sighs. i’ll still read her other books because a) daddy will herondale b) i have high hopes for kitty

the end

thank you for reading i love u all

please let me know thoughts whether you disagree or not

id actually love for people to give me reasons to love this book bc i really really wish i did

(also didn’t reread this cause its so long im sorry if there are mistakes/some parts dont make sense)

[kyunsies]

Hi angel!! I glad that you had a good day today! You deserve it after how stressful the past like week and a half have been. I also had a pretty chill day of just finishing up assignments and filling out some forms, and I got to sleep in a little! I don’t know why but I’ve been so tired this week, I slept through my alarm three different times and barely made it to class 😴 I had 2 exams yesterday which was kind of stressful, but I feel pretty good about both of them and I’m hoping to get my grades back tomorrow 🤞🏻 I’m going hiking on sunday morning with a club that I’m considering joining and I’m super excited because I’m trying to get out of my dorm and meet people more! I’m also considering going to a cat cafe that’s pretty close to my dorm tomorrow, but I haven’t officially decided to go yet. I think it would be fun though! Have you ever been to one? I feel like cafes like that are getting more popular. I think I’m a little late for the ask game, but what is your favorite animal? (Mine is possums, I think they’re so cute 🥰) Hope you have a good day tomorrow too!! 😘

-💜💜💜

hi sweetheart !!!!!!!!! i had every intention to answer this last night and then I totally forgot and fell asleep 😭😭 sorry about that !!!! but yes yesterday was nice bub :) and I even got my flu shot too !!! i’m glad your day was chill as well we both deserve it for working so hard 💕💞💖💓💗💘 also wishing you the best of grades back for your exams !!! i’m sure you did well bc you’re so bright <3 YOURE GOING HIKING TOMORROW WITH A GROUP that’s literally so exciting !!!! AHHH !!!! i only went hiking once and it was when we were visiting family in vermont a king time ago 😭 i would love to go hiking again 🥺 and omg A CAR CAFE you are doing so many exciting things 🥰 have u decided if you’re going to go today bub? let me know if you do !!!!! i’m getting coffee today as well and i’m gonna go grocery shopping bc i have absolutely nothing to eat in my room LOL

as for my favorite animal angel !!! it’s an elephant <3 esp baby ones 🥺🥺🥺 they’re so cute and they look after each other very well :( have a nice day bub !!!! i love you so much 💗💘💖💕💓💞💗💘💖💕💓💞

[ghostfront]

to the surprise of absolutely no one especially myself i have been awful at keeping up with actually writing things on here but i’ve got a lot on my mind right now and no one i really feel like i can talk about it with so i’m dusting off the cobwebs of this dumb page i guess at least for tonight

i think that one of my biggest flaws is definitely like. idk if i don’t experience immediate consequences to my actions the consequences basically just don’t exist to me? like i know that they do exist, i know what they are, but they don’t feel real and i have so much trouble like... letting them keep me from doing things, or even more accurately, make me do things. like this is so gross and i’m so ashamed of it but i went YEARS and years of just not brushing my teeth. at all. ever. and i knew i should, and i knew it would probably eventually come back to bite me in the ass bc that’s what always happens, and i kept telling myself i was gonna get better about brushing them and then i just kept not doing it. and i haven’t been to a dentist in like five years bc i kept telling myself, oh, i’ll go once i’ve gotten better about brushing my teeth again. and it just never happened. well the past like month or two i’ve FINALLY started brushing them more regularly, usually only once a day but i’m trying to get myself back up to twice, and... now one of my teeth hurts. so i have to go to the dentist and i’m fucking terrified of what a nightmare i must have turned my teeth into and what they’ll have to do to fix them and how much it’s probably gonna hurt and how much money it’s probably going to cost and it’s all my own damn fault like i fully did this to myself lmao

because this is what i do, what i always do, i put things off and say i’ll deal with them later and don’t care but eventually that vague nebulous “later” catches up and i don’t know how to handle it? like i just end up with so much guilt for putting things off or not doing what i should have been for so long, and so anxious about whatever bad thing is going to happen as a result of my action or inaction, like it literally makes me sick. i need to go to the regular doctor too, which is another thing i’ve been putting off because it’s so easy to just find excuses and say i’ll do it later, but usually by the time “later” finally rolls around for me it’s because something really bad has happened that i probably could’ve prevented and i KNOW i could’ve prevented if i’d just like. done it sooner. idk

i’m so so so scared for this dentist appointment and wish i could’ve gotten one sooner than three days from now bc now my obsessive tendencies are kicking in and i’m just an anxious wreck and have barely been able to focus on or do anything bc i just can’t stop thinking about how they’re probably going to have to rip all my teeth out and i’m gonna have to pay like thousands of dollars for it or something and it’ll all have been my fault

i hate it here haha

and whenever i’m not obsessing over my teeth i’m obsessing over the fact that i’m hopelessly in love with my best friend and have absolutely no idea what to do about it and it’s making me feel like i’m losing my mind a little bit

like idk. i think it’s mutual. i’m pretty sure it’s mutual but i’m way too scared to ask and i know she’s had issues before where like people have had crushes on her a lot when she wasn’t interested and it was kind of uncomfortable and i’ve been trying to fight the feelings off for so long because i so didn’t want to be just one of those people but like

we call each other babe and i don’t call anyone else that and i don’t think she does either, and we talk about living together, and she always says she wants to see me so bad and like hug me and stuff, like we’ve known each other for over two years and we’ve never even met in person and i’m so in love with her haha

but even if it is mutual like... idk there’s a million and one reasons why we can’t be together right now, between her family and job situation, and my job and health situation, because like even if she does get the job she’s waiting on she’ll be closer to where i am now but still a good four and a half hours away and honestly i’d move to be with her but that feels like getting sooo ahead of myself like i don’t even know if she’d want that or wants me

like there’s enough stuff to make me wonder if she feels the same way and to make me think she might but i’m really not sure at all and i feel like lately i’m trying to read into every conversation we have and look at it under a microscope to try and figure out if i’m the only one feeling this way and i really just have no idea

but even if she doesn’t i’m kind of okay with it you know? like it would be sad and idk how i’d ever get over her esp bc i don’t even want to at this point but like. i dunno she deserves to have someone love her unconditionally, even if she doesn’t reciprocate in the same way. and i do love her unconditionally in every way, like i already loved her in a friend type of way for a really long time before the other feelings became a factor, idk when they came into play bc i was definitely in denial of it and trying to fight them for a while but like. idk how to fight them anymore i really want to be with her that much is undeniable

and yeah that’s been the entire contents of my brain lately. teeth and in love with my best friend. that’s all that’s goin on up there what a fun time haha

ugh it’s 2 am and i should’ve gone to sleep a while ago but what else is new. this was so many words and i’m not sure if getting them all out made me feel any better or will once i post this but maybe? idk who knows. my brain is dumb and weird and i kinda hate it most of the time. it’s the menthol illness, luv x anyways good night internet wish me luck for my dentist appointment i’m definitely going to need it

[riskeith]

i couldn’t stop smiling reading your last message i’m literally so happy atm. you’re so cute and i’m SO happy. i reread it three times and giggled so loud my brother asked why i was laughing... 🥺 he’s in the next freaking room 🥺

sappiness aside: YES!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE? i wish i could give my luck to you as you deserve it much more ): it’s true but it’s still important if you wanna do well in combat sadly haha dhdydbjdnd like you said it’s very inconvenient to have a unbalanced team but i decided that i’m just gonna switch around with the characters i have when it’s needed yk? they’re all mostly around the same levels so it works fine rn.. or it will until i have to focus on who i want to focus on ascending when i get to higher levels bc payments and materials and all.. sigh there’s so much to think about with too many cute characters... anyway how many rolls have you done since you started playing? do you remember?

OH???? is it easier on pc? i’ve always enjoyed smaller consoles tbh (like switch or even phone) bc it’s easier to focus so it wasn’t that difficult for me. but like you said it might just be a ‘getting used to it’ thing. also now that you’ve seen both; which differences are there in the game? are you gonna have two different accs?

i did restart it from the first ep!!! i figured i might as well get the ~full~ experience. it’s been a while too so it’s like a new experience but not rly? it’s like traveling back to your home country and you’re like wow... i belong here even if i’m not here all the time dhsjsjdhfh bad example but you know what i mean?i’ll keep you updated! rn i’m at training camp part of s1 and it’s great!!! just having a blast tbh. needed this especially now that school is back... :(

i guess we are talking about voltron in 20fucking21. i don’t know if i love that for us or not.... (our honeymoon can be whenever you want babe pick a date and i’m There 😏)

pls unrequited love is soo good. it hurts but it’s good too? haha, maybe if one has experiences with it it just hits different yk? but i’m with you—watching voltron i always always had the headcanon that keith first started to feel smth for lance in the ‘we did it’ scene and actually thought ‘i’m in love’ during the black lion scene. like the proof is all there... s8 and the sunset scene just proves his longlasting feelings nobody can tell me otherwise. keith is the type to cherish the people he loves a lot because he barely has anyone and that means putting their happiness above anything else and lance’s happiness was allura for a while and he just... accepted that despite yearning . god . i always think about is bittersweet smile while having his speech. it’s like; i know that you’re great and you should know that you’re great too and if she can’t see it she doesn’t deserve you.

you freaking out over the leave the math to pidge scene... losing my fucking mind. girl they’re literally in love fuckinf crying 😭😭😭😭😭 they depend on each other SO much like the show runners always push the ‘hunk and lance bffs’ agenda ok sure but in the show hunk was never there for lance the same way keith was. they just eased each other’s anxieties without having any expectations on each other at all? yet they surpassed all of them. the other was just.. there. always. remember the ‘we all miss shiro’ scene too???? the entire team looked at lance and wanted him to step up!!!!!! like HELLO??????? and the second lance spoke keith just calmed down... kill me now. if that doesn’t show much trust and appriciation and respect there was between them idk what does. and the fact that the others know that despite their differences they still need each other just..... yeah. *cries*

YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD. i get you tho klance is just... comfort ship but the ship that leaves you depressed too. i’m sure you could still write them perfectly but i’m absolutely in no way pressuring you at all you truly don’t have to if you can’t. i know how hard it can be to write when the motivation is just not there... :/ anyway idk what i’d prompt i just love your fics babe hsjdhdjdjdk. that’s so boring of me to say help but everything you write i love so.. surprise me? i can’t believe you have a final klance fic tho that sounds so sad.... ): i’m curious what it’s about but maybe it’s better to keep it hush hush.. hm?

i hope you’ve slept well!! you make me so happy!! kisses! xxxxxx

FHSJFKDS that makes /me/ so happy to hear!!! i was sitting on my bed smiling like a FOOL reading this ahahahaha. and soz to your brother but what can i say 🤪🤪

nooooo im so glad you got a 5 star already pls it’s fine im just gonna use all my primogems on xiao banner and it’ll end up okay fhskjdfds. yeah just switching charas in when needed totally works too! it’s just annoying when you accidentally get caught up in combat and it’s just ‘oop im level 1 against level 50′ AHAH. (tho i guess you won’t run into that issue yet?) honestly yeah there’s so much to do with the characters like ascending, constellations, talents, weapons, it’s just like.. what do i do first.... and who..... afhdskjfhsjf sometimes i just want to use character bc pretty and that should be enough 😔

hmmmm for the character event banner I believe i’m at 60 or 70 rn? so i’m reaaaally close to pity which is why when xiao comes 🙏🙏🙏 and for the standard banner i have no idea, maybe 40? so yeahhhh LOL... i keep saying this (and i better not be jinxing it BUT) im hoping it’ll all pay off...... i hope it’s all been building up for xiao... c6 xiao.. come home FHDKSJHDS

i definitely prefer it on PC! controls aside i just like the bigger screen tbh (my laptop is 15″). mostly the differences are the controls/buttons! since you can’t hold down multiple buttons at once on mobile, they’ve got more to cover all the functions (pc doesn’t have an extra dash button, we just right click or press shift; if we’re in the air i think one of the buttons turns into the drop down/plunge, rather than showing like 3 on mobile? i can’t remember precisely but yeahhh; there’s also the joystick on the left side of the screen on mobile that obviously isn’t there on pc bc we have the keyboard. it’s also harder to move the camera around whilst doing things on mobile i feel?) 

and nah i don’t think i’ll make another acc, esp since i’ve gotten so far into game already but i did definitely think about it as a possibility ahahah (bc of my bad luck... i was wondering if i did a reroll (second) acc i might be able to get diluc FJKHSKDFS)

omg it feels like coming home what a good description 😩😩 haikyuu is just such a fun warm experience! legit so comforting and light-hearted but also get deep when it needs to be. oh yes training camp <33 gosh they were so young then :’) HAHAAH. and noooooo school has started up for you again? rip i wish you the best of luck 😔💪

maybe 2k21 is the year of revisiting old things...... god voltron ended in 2018 can you BELIEVE that (😏😏😏 i was gonna mention playing genshin co-op together (even back when you first started) HAAHAH but i assume you play in europe server? im asia rip 😥)

WE DID IT WE ARE A GOOD TEAM!! THE FUCKING PURPLE AROUND THEM!!!! THE SMILEEEE OH MY GOD THE BONDING MOMENT THE. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk every time you mentioned a single line or scene im just. all the memories come flooding back fhdsfkhsdjf. hang on a second.. they are red and blue.... the scene was purple... surely i knew this back then but im thinking about it now and?????/ oh my god

the sunset scene!!!!!!!!!! that is Peak pining keith unrequited love and pain scene... my goodness. “that means putting their happiness above anything else” NOOOOOOOOOOO you are so right tho 😭😭😭😭😭 please keith deserves the univerise <333 :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( the fact that lance seeked him out for that too.. just like old times.. “you can sure be a hard guy to find when you wanna be huh” the way i still remember that ugh they really were my everything 😔

YES!! like they pushed the whole lance+hunk+pidge thing but then in the actual show had hunk+pidge treat lance like shit and belittle him so often?? like ?????????? (once again where fanon saves us 😩) and oh my god yeah.. when everyone turned to him and lance like walked up to keith and then said all that.. we actually had so many moments?? god. *cries with you*

speaking of shiro.. s06e05 the black paladins!!! “shiro.. please.. you’re my brother.. i love you..” “just let go, keith” 😭😭 keith suffered so much AND FOR WHAT my god i miss him so much oh no

FSHFKJDS “surprise me” the only reason im asking is bc i have no ideas!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i shall think.. (and if you want to think and help me out too.. 👐) & i’ve actually posted about that final fic a lot! LMAO that’s how you know i know i’m never gonna finish fdskhfksjd but in case you do wanna see, here are some links: one, two, three

thank you!! i stayed up to 4am like an idiot LOL but i swear today.... and same 😭 im so so happy to have met you 🥰❣ muah! xoxoxox