#i wish it could’ve been different
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how am i supposed to accept that we went from sleeping with our lips together to being strangers with shared memories?
why were we a brief experience when we could’ve been long and drawn out like a supernova?
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“What’s this one supposed to mean?”
“Hmm..beauty or strength, sometimes.”
“Perfect.”
@sketchbookweek Day 2 - Wilderness / Witchcraft
going back to my roots of drawing sketchbook being gay in a field
#update I’m doing the silly coloured speech bc I realised i didn’t make it super clear who’s saying what jjghgd#Hilda sketchbook#sketchbookweek#hilda the series#sketchbook ship#art tag#sooo this was the first drawing I did for skbk week and let me tell you guys#it fought me. every. step of the way#i spent like 3 evenings working on the sketch just to scrap it and redo it on the next one#I’m so rusty with art I haven’t been able to do anything remotely ambitious in so long sooo yeah :’)everyone lower your expectations please#however I do think this came out kinda nice#spiritually I guess it’s a redraw of that drawing from 2020 so seeing a bit of improvement is nice anyway#i love these prompts btw I wish I could’ve done both#the flower is a jasmine btw. every website on the internet had a different idea of its meaning so I picked the ones I liked 😌#is it worth mentioning that I had some doodles I wanted to post for day 1 but I literally could not get them done on time :’)#an attempt was made but ah well. onto the next
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the thing about nate ford is he’s unpleasant, unlikeable, and uninteresting. but his importance to the other core four, his relationships with them and the way he helps them grow, is SO GOOD.
#and killing him off only made that all the more compelling#leverage#Nate could be SO GOOD#but between t hutton s odd acting#and weird writing choices#he just wasn’t#emily and i often talk about different casting choices that could’ve made him better#funniest choice was fred armisen#other choices were peter krause and hugh laurie#laurie would’ve just been a really actor and able to sell what the writers intended#and with krause it’s that bobby nash is what nate ford wishes he was#which is why i have a 911 leverage au that haunts me unfinished
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relationships that result in intertwining with the other, becoming similar or indistinguishable from your partner.
the bigger stuff obviously like hannibal pushing will to cannibalism and murder, but also small scale stuff; smelling like one another, subconsciously moving like one another, matching one another’s breathing, dressing the same way, doing your makeup the same way, using the same words, feeling the same feelings.
(*watches the unnatural closeness of blorbos in my mind* *cheers pathetically*)
#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal lector#will graham#relationships#short rant#blorbo#i’d go so far to venture#tomarrymort#tomarry#harrymort#harry potter#i wish the horcrux made harry more like tom#i wish it made him look different#and talk different#i wished it changed his magic#and fundamentally made him ruined from the man he could’ve been#from the CHILD he should’ve been#idk
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Okay, and so what if I genuinely really like SAO? It was one of my first anime and means a lot to me, okay?? And, maybe I like analyzing how female vs. male characters are portrayed, and talking about the flaws of media with my friend and SAO is a really good example of that? Maybe I think Asuna and Kirito are a good example of a healthy and meaningful relationship, and what of it? SO WHAT, If I wrote a whole ESSAY about Kirito and Eugeo’s relationship? WHAT IF I do really like this show???
#I’m a little tired of the past SAO bashing#it’s still a really good show and has an AMAZING idea and plot#also I kinda suck at hating on media….#sword art online#SAO#sao eugeo#asuna yuuki#kazuto kirigaya#Kirito#kirito x eugeo#kirito x asuna#I’m rewatching the show currently and am halfway through GGO rn#I’ve been talking my friends EAR off about this show for the past week#a lot about the incest arc… ugh#I wish we talked a bit more about that one tbh#I have a lot of ideas on how that arc could’ve been written differently to not be weird but still encompass relevance….#anyway
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i think the reason i’ve had to give up on watching hotd is because i can’t separate it from fire and blood.
i enjoyed fire and blood, fell in love with those characters, and was so excited to seem them brought to the big screen and yet it’s too different. and yet it’s still based on fire and blood so i should technically love it but it’s different and therefore i’m always disappointed because hotd could’ve been and should’ve been something amazing to me, and yet it’s not because it’s not fire and blood and therefore i can’t enjoy it in its own right because it’s not fire and blood and it’s not those characters stories it’s something different using those characters names so i end up feeling disturbed and disgusted by hotd…
does anyone understand?
#it’s too different#wish they just changed the names of all the characters then maybe i’d be able to watch it without feeling sad#i just can’t enjoy it :/#and it really does sadden me bc it’s not like this show is terrible … but i’m always burdened by what it could’ve been#tho some of it is simply bc the writing makes me go wtf were they thinking?#hotd critical#fire and blood#anti hotd#i fell in love with the original so i hate the poor copy#in my sad girl era rn#i can’t appreciate hotd in its own right bc im always comparing it to fire and blood#hotd will never be a separate canon to me it’ll always be fire and bloods loser copy :(#yet i want to love hotd so badly 😭😭😭#BUT I CANTTTTT UGHHHHH
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they are similar
#painting is Interlude by Jeremy Lipking#my beautiful Neki#I must tell you all how beautiful he is waking up in the morning.#he tries to blink the drowsiness from his eyes but he gives up so quickly#he isn’t fully awake for another half hour or so!! but I rush ahead#he’ll sometimes do some stretches when he gets out of bed#common one is the Touka Stretch! he reaches his arms over his head and grabs the opposite elbows!#he has very pretty arms. pretty muscles. his complexion is very even but his skin is a little dry#Kaneki likes to leave the curtains undrawn overnight so when the morning comes it illuminates him so wonderfully!#I love how he looks bathed in light he is truly a marvel#I love when he wears t shirt and shorts or briefs to bed unbeatable boy combo#anyway when he leaves his room he might go take a pee or splash his face or something (usually it’s bathroom time) but immediately after#he sets up the kettle to boil so he can have his morning coffee#the coffee is extremely important!!!!!! it is what will actually wake him up!!!!!!!!#until this point his house could’ve been moved to a different planet and he wouldn’t even notice#this is a secret but sometimes while waiting for it to boil if he’s leaning against the counter and no one else is up#he’ll start drifting off again…… don’t tell anyone 🤫 it’s really cute#and when he sips his coffee.. he may do a little sigh…#he’s only up that early when he has somewhere to be though otherwise my boy will sleep in so late#and then he goes to sit with his friends or somewhere where he can watch them a bit while he gets himself together#maybe Banjou will look at his bed hair and say “huh. you look like a dandelion”#and it’s true he is the most wonderful dandelion there is because you don’t even have to make a wish#he alone is like every wish come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my Kaneki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🌱🥰#kaneki time#kaneki ken
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pov: I have just experienced something that changed my life forever (I just watched Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio)
#everyone needs to go watch this movie and I cannot stress that enough#it is so so so good and it is so easily the best adaptation of the story#Disney wishes they could’ve made it this good#easily one of the best films I have ever seen EVER and it ranks very highly on my list of favorites#and that’s not even mentioning the animation and music#as well as the voice acting!!! it’s truly a work of art and I promise I’m not exaggerating#genuinely made me cry quite a bit#I feel like if you loved The Little Prince you will also love this#it should also be noted that it’s much more faithful to the original story than other adaptations have been!#and it has a different setting that works excellently#guillermo del toro’s pinocchio#pinocchio
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every time i play dai and talk with sera i just. want to be nice. Why is this an impossible task
#look. Look#i love sera dragonage. Sera dragonage is my beloved#but GODS did i wish she had a different writer because What#some things could’ve been so cool and interesting w her like her obvious internalised racism is an interesting character arc!#sera dragonage i wish you a thousand years of not being written by lukas kristjanson#not that he cant write characters well. This is just not a great example#roscoe rambles#not going in the dragonage tag i trust my mutuals and followers with this only ‼️
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ZACH TAYLOR & DARYL HARPER | HOLY GHOST BY MODERN BASEBALL
#my zach & mobo agenda strikes again#super dark times#zach taylor#daryl harper#charlie and josh are there briefly but. this is largely abt The Dream#sam edits#tw blood#tw stabbing#or well. pulling the blade out after a stabbing#also to ramble a sec bc i think using the ‘third wish has always been three more’ bit with the flashbacks may be confusing#using ‘a third wish to wish for three more’ feels like a plea for more chances to change things—smthn about#regretting the choices you made and wanting the opportunity to make better choices or#fix the previous ones. like… it feels like a line about hindsight/regret/wasted opportunity & chances#which to then apply that to Zach here—that is certainly the sort of stuff plauging his#subconscious in relation to how he handled the Daryl situation. even though awake!Zach is#obviously struggling to deal with The Guilt/the role he played in things (see: my post about#’blood on hands’ from the other night) his dream here literally SHOWS that this situation#with Daryl is crushing him (see: Daryl sitting on top of him) and a part of him KNOWS that#he is partially at fault (see: the copious blood all over him but the FOCUS on it on his hands)#+ the idea im getting at is: he not only wishes things could’ve gone differently but that HE could’ve DONE things differently
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God i miss her so much. I wish I could go back in time and find her before she died. She was so young
#I really thought she’d be okay#you hear about people finding thier cats after weeks and them being fine#*their#I just wished I’d looked where she was before she died#my friend says there’s nothing I could’ve done and a lot of the time I think I understand that but I can’t help wishing and wondering#I just wish it had been different
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whenever i think about the bad batch i just get sad. it could’ve had so much potential. it could’ve fixed so many things. it could’ve fixed the whitewashing already going on in the clone wars, but instead it made it worse. it could’ve stopped the stereotypes of body types and facial features, but it didn’t. it could’ve had more expansion on characters with disabilities, such as echo, and how they live their life with their disabilities, but they just completely dismissed it and moved passed it like it was nothing. it could’ve portrayed black/poc characters, such as saw gerrera or sid, in a more positive light and show their truer intentions, but it just made them seem more violent. so many little details are so icky about it, it’s just sad. it’s sad because it had so much potential and only did more harm than good.
the characters are cool i guess and the concepts and the plot is cool but there were so many things just Wrong with it, it’s upsetting. and like… couldn’t they just have the decency to unwhitewash the characters?? it surely can’t be that hard… considering they’re a billion dollar company 😐
#i just think omega is so cute and sweet and the fact that she is directly related to only being in the bad batch is so sad#because i don’t like posting about the bad batch in a positive way but i just wanna reblog some art that i like yk#without having to be accused of being a bad batch supporter#like the show could’ve been so cool and so many concepts are so interesting#but it’s just out of taste to show positivity over the show until lucasfilms addresses all those things#and it’s like. ughhhh#i like some things about it but i obv don’t support it and i just wish things were different because so much about it could’ve been so good#it’s just sad#star wars#oil.#the bad batch
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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#I’m going to properly celebrate one year of no contact#get a cake dress up cute#maybeeee go out 👀#I can’t believe it’s about to be an entire year#I still love him but moving on is getting a little easier#i wish it could’ve been different but I can’t control what happened between us#and I like to believe I made the right decision by letting him go
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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