#i wish i was joking about this

[dteamain]

[f-a-b-l-e]

My sleep times the past few days:

Today 1:15

Yesterday 1:30

Day -2: 2:00

Day -3: 4:00

Motherfucker. I'm improving according to a geometric sequence.

[mkorpse13]

The random urge to have a Rolf cardboard cut out in my room, and full on wall filled with pictures of him, and a plush of him is crazy rn.

trying to fight the urge to do all of that..

[edwardnashtons]

you know it's bad cause i'm just leaned over watching the washing machine run

[dead-twink-storage]

Watching a guy try and kill his boner before going into work by thinking about spiders biting his dick only to immediately think about Blackarachnia from Transformers biting his junk, thus failing miserably.

[humanrinds]

you will never have as big a kink for bathroom related things than a deranged terf on twitter does

[dark-elf-writes]

Did everyone’s high school have a teacher that everyone swore up and down was a pornstar in the seventies or was that just mine?

[starknesskenobi]

My mom: “How do you know about all these limited edition breakfast cereals coming out are you in a cereal fan club or something???” 

Me literally following breakfast cereal blogger’s: “ Well funny you should ask...” 

[ministarfruit]

day 18: once upon a time ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[earth-orbit]

MEN BE SO GOOD AT WHIMPERING I NEED TO STUDY HIM IN A LAB!!!

[mylittleredgirl]

on april fools i click on every rickroll i see no matter how obvious it is, it just feels like a cultural activity that requires my participation. as a citizen of the internet in good standing it is both my honor and a privilege to hear those opening notes and go "OH COME ON" but with the pure joy of childhood in my heart. imagine going through a whole april 1 without seeing rick astley.

[ascensabyss]

my internet dad is quitting youtube…

[shy-raccoon]

The damsel in distress slowly starts getting more and more unstable from the unaddressed trauma of being frequently kidnapped. One day they completely snap and the villains start being found mysteriously murdered with increasing brutality.

[aenslem]

The 10th Kingdom (2000)

[obscureenthusiast]

-Brutus and as many as 60 co-conspirators, circa March 14th, 44 BC

[zorionbbq]

party chat #56: nanba's transformation

(transcript both in alt text and below)

[image description: five-page comic of a "party chat" conversation from yakuza 7.

beneath the scaffolding of a construction site, nanba holds a bottle of tea and asks "hey, you think i've changed at all since we met?"

the rest of the party, standing or crouching on the side of the path, turn to look at him.

"hm? have you?" ichiban tilts his head, hand on chin, and lets saeko pick from his chip bag. "i dunno, lemme think..."

adachi leaps to his feet, splashing his can of beer and surprising saeko. "got it!"

adachi snaps his fingers with a triumphant smile. "you changed how you part your hair!"

"huh?" nanba reaches toward the back of his own head. "nope, it's still the same..." adachi sheds a single tear.

hand raised high, saeko announces "right! your prescription changed!" ichiban taps a canned coffee on his palm in an "i get it!" motion. "what, are you trying to be funny now!? and that's wrong, too!" nanba retorts.

"okay!" han looks serious. "you changed the frames on your glasses!"

"you started wearing contacts instead of glasses!" zhao finger-guns with a grin.

"will you quit it with the glasses thing!?" nanba snaps at an unfazed, juicebox-sipping han. "and does it look like i'm wearing contacts!?" he gestures at himself. zhao smugly bites an onigiri, still squatting on the ground.

adachi frowns around a pocky. "huh? then what's changed?"

"never mind... sheesh." nanba turns his back on the group.

a view of the vending machine and soccer field across the way. "i just thought maybe i'd grown a bit cheerier since i met you guys."

"that's all." nanba doesn't see the party staring in shocked silence.

saeko, han, and zhao exchange fond looks.

nanba chugs his tea as ichiban approaches.

ichiban bumps his drink hand against nanba's.

"well, we already knew that, man." ichiban grins so wide his eyes shut.

"yeah, you smile a lot more than you did before, nan-chan." saeko concurs, offering him her chip bag.

nanba looks up, eyes wide. "ichiban... you guys..."

a hand lands on nanba's shoulder.

arm slung over his friend's back, ichiban cheerfully assures "and i noticed that you got some new lenses on your glasses, too." nanba's face falls.

the party loses it. saeko collapses on adachi, both doubled over in laughter, zhao cackles as his glasses fall off, and han clutches his head in despair.

"i didn't change anything about my glasses!" nanba roars. on the ground, a plastic bag of leftover snacks reads "#56 nanba's transformation".

end image description]