#i wish i had the words to express how much i love and how proud i am of systems the resilience in the face of trauma oh my gosh mwahhhh
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Separate anon here... we love and care for you too, we had things happen to us too and can only pray karmic justice be done upon them. <3 u
hello angels !!!
i read this on the day i saw [redacted] so thank you so so so so so much.
itâs is incredibly special to hear from folks who understand in such a way. thank you all for your love, care and time.
iâm sorry that knowledge of what could be described as, âhell on earthâ is something that we have in common. my hope is all of you are taken care of in respects to your health regarding such evil.
you are all survivors! adapting to allow continued existence despite what has happened is incredible and shows the strength you all share.
đŻïžfor the safety each and every one of you and unending justice for us all.
again thank you guys for reaching out. itâs always amazing to hear from others, to have confirmation that we can live despite it all.
it also helps me gain the confidence to be more candid about my own existence. mwah mwahhhhh <333
#evidence of life#waaahhhhhhhhhhh iâm literally so weepy /positive about this plural folks are literally the nicest people in the entire whole wide world#we give each other the biggest group hug the world has ever seen i love us alllllllllllllllll#i wish i had the words to express how much i love and how proud i am of systems the resilience in the face of trauma oh my gosh mwahhhh#literally what would i do if i get sweet messages from the loveliest people on the planet every once in awhile#if i didnât get*#i wasnât there for all of it but i met a sweetheart whose hms get to express themselves through ttrpgs and if i was p******g iâd probs cry#sheâs transfem !!! and i was literally like LEY MEHTOUTTTTT itâs okay tho iâll see them again :â3 was the first known multiple iâve seen#idk it was the breath of life i really needed wahhhhhgggggggggghhhqwahhhwwahhsuhghdaaaauuhhhhwahhhhhhhhhhooughhhoughhasawahhhhhhhheahhhwahhe#anyways tumblr quits when i write long responses and this is like the third time i tried answering this <3#same in dms so trust im getting back to you i just have to type in outside of the app then copy paste which is ridiculous#like this app is soooo broken omgggg i want my money back and itâs free lol#message in a bottle
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How to liven a marriage.
Cregan Stark x wife!reader
SMUT SMUT SMUT SO MUCH SMUT
Summary: Cregan and the reader's marriage is dull, purely for duty. When the reader finds a book in the Winterfell library depicting just how pleasureful a man and wife's sex life can be, she takes it upon herself to introduce such a thing.
Warnings: p in v, fingering, making out, washing bruises (from a battle), riding, studying the scientific parts of a vagina, foreplay, etc
A/n: based on a reallllly good ask. I think this is my longest fic and I have no regrets. Except that I haven't proofread it yet. That's a later problem.
Masterlist
.......................................................
She felt her stomach drop to her feet when she saw the drawings in the book. Her cheeks became a flushed red, completely embarrassed to have stumbled on something so⊠private. She shut the book with a thud and cringed at the loud sound that echoed in the library.
She heaved the book back onto the shelf and brushed off her skirt, as if trying to completely brush off the experience itself.
Once she had pulled herself together, she decided she'd had enough of the library. Enough scavenging and prodding at the books. Especially one like that.
Be even so, she felt herself stop halfway to the door.
She was a married woman. The act of sex itself is no crime to a married woman. Nor studying various positions of it.Â
It felt dirty to do so. Very wrong. Like her old Septa would appear and scold her ardently over it.
But her Septa wasn't there.
No one was there.
Just her and the book.
âŠ
Cregan was sure to arrive within the fortnight.Â
She wished to be happy about all of it. The return of her husband was good. It had been a tough few weeks to rule without him. After all, she was still new to the North.
But she couldn't find it in her.
Cregan was harsh and cold. Never happy, never caring. Duty and honor. How the words were stamped across their foreheads.
They had married out of duty, and that is all they had of one another. They were awkward and lacked the eagerness to spend time with one another.Â
She had heard stories of great marriages of love that whisked away all problems and only left a man, a wife, and their love. That was not this marriage.
So the return of Cregan meant the return of a duty that she had started to dislike: Their attempts to conceive. She knew once she gave him a few sons, they would be rid of the need to conceive, but that day was far away.
And Cregan surely drew closer to Winterfell.
âŠ
Perhaps the book- Forget about the book, she told herself. A proud man like him would never agree to look at such a thing.
Her fingers grazed over one of the drawings as she read the contents next to it. It was confusing to try and follow such a strange topic, but still she tried.
Women may experience intense pleasure of their own. It is most easy to start at the clitoris. It is located above the vaginal opening. A gentle circled rubbed at the area w
"What are you reading, my lady?"
She slammed the book shut with a thud and a gasp, her head snapping to the side to see Winterfell's maester standing with a curious expression. She held a hand over her chest. "Do not sneak up on a woman."
"Forgive me, my lady. I thought myself being rather loud in my steps." He gave her a chuckle. "It seems I was wrong."
Her shock was turning to embarrassment as she tried to slide the book further behind her back on the table that she leaned again. "You're forgiven, just go."
"Ah, I've come for a reason," he countered. "News of Lord Stark's return is at hand. He should be here by sunset tomorrow, gods willing."
She nodded, trying desperately to get him back out. "Right. How fortunate. Thank you. You may go."
"My lady, if I may," he continued. "You look rather flushed. Are you feeling ill?"
"NO!" She cringed at her outburst. "No, I'm quite well, thank you."
The maester gave her a strange look. He clearly didn't believe her, but he wasn't going to push it. "Right. If you need anything, only say the word." He dipped his head and hurried off, closing the door behind him.
Her entire body relaxed at his leaving. She ran a hand over her face in an attempt to physically remove the heat from her cheeks.
She had been so close to getting caught with this.
Too close.
When she was sure there weren't footsteps in the corridor, she turned back, opening the book once more and reading further.
It gave her an idea.
She grabbed the book, carrying it to Cregan's desk and setting the heavy thing down. Her fingers sprawled over the page once again, careful to not continue the tear that went down the side. She slowly sat down as she continued to read.
A gentle circled rubbed at the area will increase pleasure during the act of sex.
She looked over her shoulder to check one last time before her hands began to bring her skirt up. The fabric was quickly pooled around her stomach and her legs were exposed. Her right hand shook as it brushed the small piece of fabric still guarding her most intimate parts from the cold air.
But the most important part of a female's genitalia to understand is the vagina. Located between the clitoris and the anus lies the vagina. Though different in looks, all women's perform quite alike.
Her breath caught as she gained her last bit of bravery, and her fingers pushed the fabric to the side. The cold air made her hiss, as did the coldness to her fingertips.
The labia majora protects the vagina from foreign particles, the labia minora after that.Â
Her fingers explore the very area, the cold digits skimping past the skin until she knew her middle finger grazed the inside of her vagina.Â
She should have known the territory well. It was her own body and still she found herself unsure of where everything laid.
And above all else, she felt filthy for it. This was for her husband, not her own gain. Her own pleasure has nothing to do with making an heir. But she wouldn't stop now.
Her eyes grazed over the page again as she pushed her middle finger deep inside her. It caught once or twice, the lack of moisture causing a small discomfort. But once her second knuckle disappeared into her, she recalled the feeling.Â
She remembered this now: the feeling of something inside of her. Though, this was one finger and nowhere near as intruding as her husband's cock. And only then did she begin to understand how a man could fall apart from this feeling. Her walls seemed to not want her finger to part from her. She pumped it in and out a few times before daring to turn the page with her left hand.
âŠ
Cregan returned as promised, with the sun beginning to set behind him- though it was covered with the thick clouds of the North.Â
Standing on the stairs to the castle was his wife. He had long awaited to return home. To continue his duties to her? No. But home meant warmth and small comforts and he would take that every day he could.
He dismounted his horse and took slow steps to her. He forced a small smile, more for the sake of everyone else than the two of them. "My lady."
She gave a polite nod of her head when he grew close. "You've returned safely."
"I have." His gaze wandered around the area in an attempt to ease the awkwardness.
"I⊠I've missed you," she muttered.
His eyes looked to her and his brows pulled together. "Have you?"
"WellâŠ" She looked down at her shoes. Was that even true? She didn't miss him. Not really. Well, she did in a way. Waiting to talk about the book. "Well, I found myself wanting to be with you as soon as I could." She swallowed and looked up at him. "Would that be considered missing you?"
" 'Being with me,' " he repeated as he thought it over. He squinted in contemplation before trying to clarify. "As in speaking with me or⊠other things?"
Her face flushed and her eyes looked right back down to the ground.Â
He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. His tongue ran along his teeth before clicking as he came to a conclusion in his mind. "An hour. My chambers."
It was a soft command. He never ordered her around. And if she chose to voice an opinion ever, she knew he'd consider it. He was a forceful man, but not like that.Â
But when she made no motion against it, he chuckled. One of his hands came up to her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze. "An hour. I'll even wash for you first." He pressed an emotionless kiss to her lips and stepped away, grabbing his horse's reins and beginning to speak to one of the other men.
An hour. That felt like too long to sit with her thoughts. But she'd manage. Somehow.
âŠ
An hour later, she opened the door with her heart beating wildly.Â
But upon seeing what laid inside, it died down.
Cregan laid in the large copper tub, his head laid back against the rim as he bathed: fast asleep.
She leaned on the door and studied him for a while. How easily the rough man became just as soft as anyone else. He seemed⊠at peace for once. That large crease that always laid between his brows was gone as he softly snored.
It's hard to make an heir like this. But he'd journeyed so far, and something like sex seemed dumb when he needed rest this badly.
She stepped in and closed the door behind her, careful not to make a heavy sound. Her steps were quiet and careful, quickly guiding her to him and now she kneeled at his side.Â
Her fingers dipped into the water. It was beginning to grow cold.
And judging by the light pruning of his fingers, he'd been there for a while.
Cregan often took his baths alone. He always refused the help of servants, even his wife, rather wishing to have this as his alone time.
She grabbed the cloth that lay over the side- unused, judging by its dryness, and dipped it in, beginning to lightly trail it over his chest.Â
She took the time to study every scar across him. There were many and she had no doubt that he'd won each battle they belonged to. She had seen him sparring- she knew how formidable she was with a sword in his hand.
The water ran down his chest and dripped into the tub again. The sounds echoed in his room. Each seemed loud compared to the utter silence of the air.
She moved to the other side of the tub and cleaned him, now noticing the deep cut on his shoulder. Deep purple and green bruising laid around it. It looked quite painful. When she ran the cloth over it, he hissed and his eyes finally opened.
He took in the room, a sharp gaze that would make most men fearful. Once they set on her and he completely came to, they softened slightly. She saw the way they flickered from her eyes to the cloth in her hand. She waited for him to inevitably shoo her from the room.
"Has it been an hour?" He quietly asked. "I apologize. How rude of me." He pulled the rag from her hand. "And I've made you feel as if you have to clean me to make up for time lost that I now owe you. Well, sit and I will hurriedly finish, wife."
His words and movements caught her off guard. She was unsure what to say.Â
"Go on," he motioned with a hand. "Sit and wait for me. Like you so patiently have."
"No," she finally countered. "Y- your shoulder. It looks painful. Let me."
Her hand grabbed for the rag, brushing his. The two seemingly froze in the moment. Cregan's deep eyes stared up at hers, as if taking her in for the first time. Finally, he shook his head. "It won't take long."
"I know. So, let me," she argued again.
He looked down to their hands, their fingers touching just barely. Slowly, his grip loosened and she was able to slip the cloth from him.
Silently, she took the acceptance and began to wash him again. She took extra care around the bruises now. When the cloth ran over them, the fingers of her other hand followed and paused. "Does it hurt?" She softly asked.
Cregan's eyes were glued to the water now, his fingers dipping in and out and watching the droplets fall back into the tub. "They always do."
"It didn't go well, I take it?"
He held water in his palm, cupped carefully as he studied it. "It went very well."
"This is very well?"
He tilted his hand and let the water escape down his arm with a sigh. His head tilted and he finally looked at her with a firm gaze. "The Wall is harsh. Even on its best days."
Having him stare at her so deeply made her chest flutter and she suddenly imagined how he might look at her while doing things from the book in the library.Â
She dared a thought, bringing a hand up to his cheek. He watched her carefully. To think that she did this of affection was a ridiculous one. He must have something on his face.
But when her palm rested there, on his cheek, he began to think differently. It brought a strange feeling to his stomach.
Her hand rested there for a while and the two were unmoving. But when she brushed her thumb over his cheekbone, he pulled his head away.
Her fingers pulled to her palm as she accepted the rejection and blinked away all thoughts. "Lean forward," she gently commanded.
He raised no fuss, pulling himself forward with a small groan. No doubt his muscles protested with each movement.
She focused now, trying to ignore the way the muscles in his back flexed and contracted each time he moved.Â
The cloth ran across his back and few times, and he eventually sighed at the feeling. Her hand somehow applied just enough pressure to his aching back. And when she noticed and focused just above his shoulder blades, he let out an audible groan.
"Tense, Lord Stark?" She almost teased.
He didn't catch the teasing part though, too relaxed in this state. He only nodded and prayed that she'd continue.
She abandoned the cloth and began to fully massage his shoulders with her hands. It put the powerful man in a relaxed trance, and not one he cared to come out of anytime soon.
"I've been thinking," she spoke. "Well, do you think that⊠" she hesitated. "That maybe⊠maybe there's more to conceiving a child than⊠what we've been doing?"
There was a silence. It was suffocating and she was sure that she'd said the wrong thing. She would have swore he hadn't heard her, but the sudden tension in his back said so.
Finally, his head turned just a bit, revealing half of his face to her and he barely looked over his shoulder. "I think," he drew out, "you've been reading."
Oh. So he knew of the book.
She pulled away, as if burned and began to wring her hands as her nerves took over. "It was there⊠and⊠And I only thought⊠maybe-"
He laid back again the tub again to look at her. "Is that something you want?" He calmly asked.
Her mouth went dry as she tried to speak an answer.Â
"Wife," he voiced a little sharper. "I asked you a question."
She forced herself to take a deep breath. "Yes."
The corner of his lips tugged up and leaned his head back against the rim as before, closing his eyes. "So be it."
"W-" she stopped herself before creating any problems she didn't need. He'd agreed, and that was that.
With her confused presence, he opened his eyes and lulled his head to the side. "I'll apologize again for taking our time." His hand came out of the water to her, mimicking the way she had cupped his cheek early. "But after the feast?" His thumb ran over her lips, catching and pulling down her bottom lip. "You are mine to have."
âŠ
She remembered something in the book about this. Foreplay, she recalled. Like dangling a bone in front of a dog and seeing the way it would drool in anticipation.Â
Like quick glances, small touches, things that would signal to a partner that you wished to engage in sexual activities.Â
Doing such things during a feast felt scandalous. But it filled her heart with a fire that she knew was traveling between her legs as well.
She had started it, brushing her hand with his as they ate. Then wiped at a bit of wine that had dripped down his chin. Then even daring to brush a hand across this thigh.
But that was earlier. Now, across the room from each other, she took other tactics.Â
When she wasn't looking at whoever she spoke to, she looked at Cregan. Her eyes would wander from his face to his feet, a long gaze that took its time, and enjoyed every moment of it. And he was quick to notice it. When she was caught and his eyes were on her, she quickly looked away in mock embarrassment.
It worked wonderfully.
The rest of the evening, she felt his eyes on her and when she'd look back, he'd have a look that said he was ready to devore her whole. She felt her core almost drip with the adrenaline rushing through her.
Now, to act on it.
She caught his gaze again, keeping it and taking slow steps to the high table, hoping he'd get the hint to follow her.Â
And perceptive he was.
She stood in front of her chair and reached down to her cup when his chest warmed her back. His hand reached over hers and seized her chalice as his voice spoke lowly in her ear. "Bid them goodnight. We are retiring."
She craned her neck to try to look at him. "We are the hosts-"
"-two minutes, and I'll carry you myself if I must."
His warmth disappeared, and he set her cup back down to the table.
A wide grin came to her lips.
âŠ
The moment the door to his chamber closed, he pushed her against the wall. His lips chased her with a heat like she was the air he needed to breathe. His hands pulled at the fabric on her shoulders, so eager to undress and ravish her.
Her hands did the same, pulling at the strings of her doublet. But it was hard to do so through Cregan's heavy hands tugging her this way and that.Â
Soon enough, cold air rose goosebumps across her skin. Cregan paused, only for a moment, letting his eyes wander over her. And for the first time, lust was evident in his pupils.
His lips consumed hers once more, his tongue delving past her teeth to hurriedly explore. His hands and hers both pulled at his clothes.Â
With his chest bare, he deemed that enough for now. He picked her up and took her to the bed, dropping them both to it and holding himself above her with one hand. His lips moved to her neck now, sucking at the skin. And her small hitch of breath encouraged him.
Soon he pulled away and stood at the foot of the bed, pulling down his trousers and throwing off his boots. His eyes never strayed from her body. How beautiful she was. Now he really noticed.
His hands found her ankles. He pulled her down to the edge of the bed.
She began to notice how he'd began to go back into their routine from before.
He stepped between her legs and propped her hips up a bit, lining his cock with her cunt and beginning to force his way in.
Her jaw clenched and her nose inhaled sharply. She was never used to that first push.Â
Her mind wandered to the night before with the book. She had went on to get three fingers in and without pain. She knew it was possible to avoid this if they went slowly. And the pleasure she had felt yesterday was inexplainable.
"Cr-Cregan," she panted out.
His eyes snapped up to hers. They never spoke during this. There was never anything to talk about.Â
"I want to⊠to do it differently," she managed out.
He pulled out from her, holding her legs steady as he gave her a questioning gaze. "What did you read in that thing?" He finally asked.
"I want⊠I want to be⊠above," she tried to explain. "You lay down and I⊠I will do the work."
He was hesitant, understandably so, but he was hard enough now that he didn't quite care how it happened. He just needed a release.
So he laid himself on the bed, his eyes almost bulging out with the way she straddled him so confidently.Â
She brushed against his manhood, and he couldn't take it anymore. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he tried to take back control. But her own hands pulled his away. She gave him a look that warned him to let her try it.
She sunk down onto him this time. The pressure was there, but it was different. More bearable this time. And at her own pace, she took her time to adjust to him until his pelvis met hers.Â
Cregan's eyes were closed in bliss, and she took that as a sign to continue. She pulled her hips up and sunk back down, and a whine left her mouth without realizing it. It felt⊠good. Sex with Cregan felt good.
His hands trailed back up to her hips, more gentle this time. He guided her hips in a back and forth motion and a sinful moan escaped from him.
She continued it as he wanted, leaning down to brace herself on his chest. With this new motion, she could find a little pressure to her clit, and it brought a whole new wave of pleasure.
The motions quickened as the two began to explore the idea that maybe⊠just maybe⊠they liked this.
If their moans had any indication.
She felt a tightening in her lower stomach, something she remembered from yesterday. She wondered if Cregan could feel it from inside.
And he could. It created a resistance that had him almost drooling with how well it felt. How good she made him feel.
"Let me fill you," he voiced in a beg. It hadn't intended to come out that way, but it did. Cregan was begging.
"I w~" the words caught in her throat. "I want you to fill me," she managed. "Give me a child, Cre~"
The words died altogether on her lips as her orgasm washed over her. The one from her fingers yesterday was nothing compared to this. She felt it throughout her body like spring that had finally snapped.Â
Cregan's eyes were open and wide at the feeling of her cunt around him now, spasming with the aftermath of her orgasm. It felt amazing, and he had cursed himself for never discovering it before.
And now that he had, he wouldn't forget it.Â
Her cunt milked him for all he had, and he happily gave it to her, releasing himself with a heavy groan.
The two slumped on the bed, Cregan's arms wrapped around his wife's frame. Neither were eager to move from their positions, not even as he softened inside of her or the liquid ran down her thighs.
Before, Cregan had held her up and made her keep it in.Â
Now? He didn't care. He could always just fill her again.
He'd do anything to see the way her jaw dropped and her eyes glazed over again.Â
"Thank you," she breathed against his neck.
There was a comfortable silence from him. Then finally, "I'll have that book read within the fortnight."
..........................................
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MISS YOU BABY | MV1
an: i need a hug from max verstappen stat, based off this request! thank you for sending it :)
summary: max thought his girlfriend was missing his final race during his triple header, little did he know she'd planned to come and visit all along.
wc 3.6k
The hotel room she was in was quiet.
She sat cross-legged on the bed in a dark hotel room that mirrored his, only three floors below, making sure he couldnât see her surroundings. Her phone was propped up against a pillow, and Maxâs face filled the screen, his hair still damp from the shower, tousled and messy. He looked worn-out but managed a small, tired smile just for her.
"Iâm sorry, Max. I really tried to get time off, but there was just⊠no way," she said, the fib slipping from her lips with surprising ease. "I wanted to be there with you. Especially now."
Max exhaled, leaning back against his headboard. âI know. Itâs alright.â His voice softened. âI just miss you, is all. Itâs been a rough couple of weeks.â
She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek, wishing she could reach through the screen and wrap her arms around him. "Youâll get through it, though. You always do."
"Doesnât feel that way." He laughed, but it was brittle around the edges. âI feel like Iâm letting everyone down. The team, the fans⊠you.â His eyes searched the screen, as if he might find a solution hidden somewhere in her gaze.
"Never me." She leaned closer, her face so near to the camera that she could see her reflection in his eyes. "Iâm so proud of you, Max. Always. No matter what."
For a moment, he just looked at her, his expression softening, and the tension sheâd seen in his face for days seemed to melt, just a little. "I wish you were here," he murmured. "I swear, youâre the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes."
She swallowed, feeling her heart pull toward him with a force that was hard to resist. "Soon, Iâll be back with you. Just⊠hold on a bit longer, okay?â
She gazed at his face on the screen, her heart swelling as she watched the way his eyes softened every time he looked at her. She knew he was tired and worn down, but in this moment, he looked at peace.
"I love you, Max," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.
He closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him, and when he opened them again, there was a warmth there that seemed to cut through the miles between them. "I love you, too," he replied, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "More than you know."
She tucked her hair behind her ear, feeling her cheeks flush, and nodded. "Get some sleep, alright? Big day tomorrow."
He grinned. "Yeah, yeah. You, too. Dream about me, okay?"
She laughed, rolling her eyes, but her heart skipped all the same. "Always. Goodnight, Max."
"Goodnight, love."
With a final smile, she ended the call, letting the screen go dark as she leaned back into the pillows, her heart fluttering with anticipation. Sheâd hardly been able to sleep on the plane ride here, and she could already tell tonight would be the same.
Still, the thought of finally seeing him in person tomorrow kept her too giddy to care. Sheâd surprise him at the track, slipping through the garage just as he arrived, or maybe even at breakfast if she could manage it without spoiling the surprise. Her mind spun with ideas, each more elaborate than the last, but all she really wanted was to see his face light up when he realised she was there.
Pulling the covers up to her chin, she let her eyes drift closed, replaying the moment over and over in her mind, savouring the thought of his reaction. She loved him fiercely, and she knew that being hereâno matter how much of a secret sheâd had to make itâwas exactly where she was supposed to be.
As she finally began to drift off, her last thought was simple but bright, shining like a promise: Tomorrow, heâll know.
And while she was glad she held onto the secret.
The following morning she wished sheâd told him earlier.
She woke to the faint glow of her phone on the nightstand, her morning alarm. Blinking herself awake, she squinted at the screen and saw Maxâs name, followed by the timeâ5:02 a.m.
Heading to the track early today. Miss you already, wish you were here.
She smiled, feeling that familiar warmth spreading through her chest. But then her heart sank a little. Sheâd been hoping to catch him in the hotel this morning, maybe surprise him over breakfast. Now, with him already gone, she'd have to adjust her plans.
Throwing back the covers, she got up and went to the window. Rain streaked down the glass in thick, heavy drops, and the sky was a murky grey. The weather was only supposed to get worse throughout the day; she knew thatâd make things complicated, especially for an outdoor track. She had no clue if her surprise would even be worth the stress of navigating the drenched, crowded paddock.
After a momentâs hesitation, she tapped her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she reached the name she wanted. She dialled, and after a few rings, Maxâs assistant, Sophie, picked up.
âHey!â Sophie greeted, sounding pleasantly surprised. âWhatâs up? Did you make it in?â
âYes, Iâm here!â she whispered, unable to contain her excitement. âI wanted to surprise him before he heads out on track, but with this rain⊠do you think I should even bother?â
Sophie sighed sympathetically. âHonestly, itâs a mess out here. Theyâre saying the rainâs going to be even heavier by the time qualifying starts. Heâll be in back-to-back meetings until then, and Iâd hate for you to sit in the rain, just to get a few minutes with him.â
She nodded, glancing out the window at the sheets of rain. âSo you think I should wait?â
âIâd say hold off until right before the race,â Sophie replied. âHeâll have a short break, and I think heâd love the surprise then. Plus, everyoneâs less frantic between qualifying and race prep.â
âGood point,â she agreed, a little disappointed but knowing Sophie was right. The track on a rainy race day was chaos, and if she could avoid it until the right moment, sheâd have a better chance of actually spending time with him. âThanks, Sophie. Let me know if anything changes?â
âWill do! Heâll be so happy to see you,â Sophie said warmly. âHang tight, okay?â
As she hung up, she couldnât help but feel a twinge of excitement, knowing the surprise would be even more perfect with the wait. So she ordered herself a coffee, sat by the window, and watched the rain pour down, imagining the look on Maxâs face when heâd finally see her just before the most important race of the weekend.
The rain hadnât let up by the time she arrived at the track, the skies dark and moody, the air thick with humidity. Sheâd navigated her way through security and weaving lines of drenched fans, her heart racing as she got closer to Maxâs garage. But by the time she finally made it, he was already in the car, helmet on, visor down, his focus entirely on the track ahead.
Her heart sank a little as she scanned the bustling garage, hoping for some last chance to catch his eye. But he was already strapped in, a crew member leaning in to give him a final check before he rolled out. She spotted Sophie in the corner, scribbling something down on a clipboard, and made her way over to her.
âHey,â she whispered, feeling the dampness of the rain still clinging to her hair and clothes. âI⊠I just missed him, didnât I?â
Sophie looked up and gave her a sympathetic smile. âYeah, he was swamped the moment he got here. They barely had time to get him settled with all the delays.â She gestured to the grid display above them, where Maxâs name glowed beside the stark âP17â position. âRough start, but heâll be glad to know youâre here.â
She nodded, feeling a pang as she glanced at his car just as it rumbled to life. His fingers flexed on the steering wheel, even from a distance she could see the tension there. She let out a breath, feeling a swell of pride and worry all at once. âWell, Iâll be here watching, then.â
Sophie handed her a headset, which she slipped on just in time to hear his engineerâs voice crackle through with the first instructions as they prepared for the start. The rain was relentless, turning the track into a slick, treacherous maze, and she felt her stomach twist as the cars peeled out onto the track for the formation lap. Maxâs car trailed near the back, but she knew heâd fight, as he always did, with a ferocity she both admired and feared in moments like this.
The race began, a chaotic blur of spray and metal, the cars kicking up rooster tails of water, visibility nearly zero as they fought for position. She gripped the edge of her seat as the laps ticked by, heart pounding with every close call. It quickly became clear that the conditions were only worsening, drivers struggling to keep their cars on track, a few even skidding off into barriers with loud, bone-jarring crashes. Her hands tightened around the headset as Max navigate his way forward, battling his way to P10, then P6.
And then, just when the tension seemed to reach its peak, there was a deafening crash, followed by a sudden hush as the red flag went up, halting the race.
Her breath caught in her throat. The screen above replayed the incidentâa skidding into the barrier that had caused an emergency stop. The seconds felt like hours as she waited, desperately searching for a glimpse of his car on the feed. Finally, there it was, intact, safe. Relief flooded her, and she felt her shoulders sag.
The race restarted after the delay, and she watched in awe as Max took advantage of the reshuffled positions and tire changes, surging forward with a newfound intensity. Lap by lap, he clawed his way through the field, passing car after car with a precision that made her heart race. It was as if heâd transformed, harnessing every ounce of his frustration from the last few races, channelling it into something extraordinary.
The garage erupted in cheers as he moved into P3, then P1. She stared at the screen, hardly daring to blink, her heart racing as he crossed the finish line in first place, drenched in rain and glory.
She could hardly believe it. From P17 to P1. Heâd done it.
Forgetting herself, she laughed, a sound of pure joy, her heart swelling as she watched him slow down, the victory finally sinking in. She couldn't wait to see his face when he finally realised she was here, to be the first person heâd see when he stepped out of that car, soaked and grinning, finally at the top.
Ripping her headset off, she followed the crew as they ran out to parc fermĂ©, her heart racing as fast as the roar of the crowd. The team, buzzing with excitement, parted slightly as she joined them, nudging her to the front so sheâd be the first face he saw. She could barely breathe as she caught sight of Maxâs car, now still, the rain glistening on its blue-and-red bodywork.
With all the force he had he climbed out, pulling off his helmet to reveal damp, messy hair and a face lit up with exhilaration and disbelief. For a moment, he simply stood there, taking in the shouts of the crowd and the blinding flashes of cameras. And then, his gaze landed on her.
His eyes widened, his exhaustion and surprise giving way to pure joy. Without hesitation, he broke into a run, crossing the slick tarmac with the kind of speed and determination that made her heart leap. She barely had a second to react before he wrapped her in his arms, his lips crashing against hers as he pulled her close, his hands pressed firmly against her back, as if he still couldnât believe she was real.
âYou came,â he murmured breathlessly, pulling back just enough to look at her, his face filled with awe and happiness.
âI wouldnât have missed it for the world,â she replied, her voice trembling with emotion, brushing a wet strand of hair from his face.
He smiled, a bright, unguarded smile that melted her heart. âGod, I needed this. I needed you.â
And then he kissed her again, a kiss filled with all the missed moments and the words they hadnât been able to say, the thrill of his victory mingling with the fierce love they shared. She felt the rain soak through her clothes, the crowd and the noise around them fading as they held each other, his arms wrapping around her as if he could protect her from the rest of the world.
âI still canât believe it,â he whispered against her lips, his forehead resting against hers, his hand gently brushing her cheek. âP1. And youâre here.â
She laughed softly, her eyes shining. âYou deserve it, Max. I knew you could do it.â
He held her close, a triumphant laugh bubbling from his chest as he buried his face in her neck, and they stood there in the pouring rain, lost in each other, savouring the victory and this long-awaited moment they both knew theyâd never forget.
As the noise of the cheering crew and fans started to swell around them, Max pulled back slightly, brushing his thumb across her cheek, his gaze lingering on her face as if he was trying to commit every detail to memory.
âI have to go,â he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. âThe interviews, cool-down room, podium⊠but wait for me? Iâll meet you in my driverâs room as soon as I can.â
She nodded, understanding but already missing the warmth of his arms. âIâll be waiting. Go,â she whispered, giving him a small smile. âEnjoy every secondâyou deserve it.â
He pressed one last, lingering kiss to her forehead, then turned and jogged off to join the waiting crew, helmet in hand, while she stayed rooted to her spot, watching him disappear into the crowd. Her heart swelled with pride as she trailed after the team to watch his interviews, his beaming, breathless face glowing with pride and energy as he spoke about the gruelling conditions and the unbelievable climb from P17 to P1.
Then came the cool-down room, where she watched from the sidelines as he bantered with the other drivers, sharing exhausted smiles and congratulatory claps on the back, the weight of his achievement settling in as he finally let himself relax a little. She couldnât help but smile, feeling as though she could burst with joy just watching him, his eyes sparking with energy even as he looked ready to collapse from exhaustion.
And finally, the podium. She felt the crowdâs excitement echo through her as she looked up to see him standing tall, drenched from head to toe, a bottle of champagne in hand. When he raised it in victory, the crowd erupted, and she joined them, cheering at the top of her lungs as he sprayed champagne with abandon, laughing as he celebrated with the other drivers. His eyes swept over the crowd, and when they found hers, he gave a subtle nod, a silent promise that heâd be back with her soon.
After the podium, she made her way to his driverâs room, her heart fluttering as she paced the small space, the thrill of the day lingering in every fibre of her being. And then, finally, the door swung open, and there he was.
He looked completely worn out, his hair still damp and messy, his fireproof undersuit clinging to his skin. But his smile was bright, and his eyes lit up the moment he saw her.
Without a word, he crossed the room, pulling her into his arms, his lips finding hers in a soft, exhausted kiss. She melted into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as he held her close, the adrenaline and joy from his victory radiating between them.
âI donât think Iâve ever been this happy,â he whispered against her ear, his voice low and hoarse. âWinning today⊠and having you here with me. Itâs everything.â
She brushed a strand of damp hair from his face, smiling as she traced her fingers along his cheek. âYou did it, Max. Iâm so proud of you.â
He took her hand, pressing it to his heart, his eyes never leaving hers. âNone of it would mean anything without you,â he said quietly, his voice steady.
She felt her eyes sting with tears, overwhelmed by the depth of his words. âIâm here,â she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. âIâll always be here.â
They stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world slipping away. He stroked her hair, pressing gentle kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, as if savouring each moment.
âLetâs get out of here,â he finally murmured, his voice warm and soft, âcelebrate somewhere a little less chaotic.â
She laughed, nodding. âAnywhere, as long as itâs with you.â
They headed back to his hotel, hand in hand, a peaceful quiet settling over them as they left the track behind. Once in the privacy of his suite, he gave her a lingering kiss, then smiled, nodding toward the bathroom. âGive me a few minutes to wash off all the champagne and⊠probably half the track dust,â he said with a laugh.
She grinned, watching as he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling the suite a moment later. While he showered, she took the opportunity to pack up her things from her own room, gathering her scattered belongings quickly. The thrill of being close, of finally sharing a space for the night, filled her with a warmth that had nothing to do with the tropical heat outside.
By the time she returned, he was out of the shower, towelling off his damp hair, his expression softening as he took in the sight of her standing there with her things. Without a word, he crossed the room and took her bags from her hands, setting them by the closet as he gave her a smile that made her heart skip.
Once theyâd both changed into fresh clothesâsheâd opted for a simple dress, and he in casual jeans and a loose shirtâthey slipped out of the hotel through a side exit, making their way to a tiny, tucked-away Brazilian restaurant that had been recommended. The place was hidden, small enough to be missed by the crowds, with soft, low lighting that created an intimate, cosy atmosphere. A few locals lingered around tables, but they paid little attention to the couple as they took a corner table in the back.
They ordered caipirinhas and he reached across the table to hold her hand, his fingers tracing gentle circles on her skin as they laughed over silly little things, shared stories from the past few weeks, and spoke of things beyond racing, beyond work, just slipping back into the easy flow they always shared. The food was rich and deliciousâsmall plates of feijoada, grilled meats, and pĂŁo de queijoâeverything flavorful and homey.
He leaned across the table, his eyes warm and filled with that familiar spark, as he watched her speak, clearly savouring every moment. âYou know,â he said softly, âI think this is the best victory celebration Iâve ever had.â
She squeezed his hand, smiling back at him. âSame here. I missed just⊠being with you like this.â
They stayed until the restaurant closed, lingering over the last bites of dessert, letting the night stretch out as long as possible. Eventually, they headed back to the hotel, the city streets now quiet and still beneath the soft hum of streetlights.
Once back in his room, Max changed into a pair of soft pyjama bottoms, leaving his chest bare, his skin still warm from the shower. She slipped into one of his t-shirts, the fabric soft and oversized, the scent of him comforting and familiar. When she stepped out the bathroom, he was already waiting for her by the bed, his gaze softening as he took her in, a gentle smile curving on his lips.
Without a word, he reached for her, lacing his fingers through hers as he pulled her close, guiding her to the bed. She sank into the mattress beside him, and he wrapped an arm around her, drawing her against his chest, his fingertips trailing absently over her shoulder. She nestled into him, feeling his warmth seep through her, a cosy silence wrapping around them.
They lay there, tangled together, her head tucked beneath his chin as he gently traced circles on her back, his breath even and steady. He tilted her chin up, his eyes searching hers for a quiet moment before he leaned down, capturing her lips in a soft, lingering kiss, filled with a tenderness that said everything words couldnât. She kissed him back just as gently, savouring the intimacy of being close like this, the world beyond these walls feeling miles away.
When the kiss ended, he pressed his forehead to hers, a soft sigh escaping as he held her close, one hand settling over hers, fingers intertwined. They stayed that way, her head resting against his heartbeat, lulled by the steady rhythm.
Finally, they drifted off, still tangled in each otherâs arms, wrapped up in the warmth and comfort of just being together. As the night settled around them, Max couldnât help but smile, holding her a little closer as he slipped into sleep, his heart full and light.
Max couldnât have wished for a better weekend.
the end.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fanfic#red bull racing#formula one#f1 2024#f1 x reader#x reader#reader insert#max verstappen imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 one shot#formula one x reader#formula 1#ann speaks#ann talks
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think about things â fushiguro toji.
âI donât want to mess this up, babe.â he finally admitted, the words coming out in a low, almost reluctant rumble. âI donât want to mess him up. I donât want to be like my father, babe. I wanna be a good father to him. I want to love him so much and I justâŠ.â Your heart ached at the rawness in his voice, at the vulnerability he rarely let show. You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around his middle and pressing your cheek against his chest. For a moment, he stiffened. He always did, as though he wasnât quite used to comfortâbut then he relaxed, his arms circling around you. âYou wonât mess him up, baby.â you said softly. âYou love him. You wonât end up like your father. You love Megumi, he is our treasure. Thatâs why you love him. Thatâs what matters most. And youâre trying. Thatâs more than enough.â
GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence;
WARNING/S: intense fluff, romance, mild-angst, pet names (baby, babe, treasure etc), love, humor, light-hearted, parenthood, married life, healthy relationship, newborn baby, being in love, slice of life, domestic life, family, anxiety, emotional trauma, emotional suffering, self-doubt, encouragement, depictions of anxiety, depiction of healthy relationship, depiction of married life, depiction of parenthood, depiction of self-doubt, depiction of emotional trauma, mention of familial issues, mention of childhood trauma, mention of emotional suffering, mention of breast-feeding, husband! toji, mamaguro! reader, baby! megumi, normalize having a proud house-husband and father at home, ladies, gents and non-binary friends!;
WORD COUNT: 7k words
NOTE: after writing so much sad stuff, i knew i had to write something really cute and something relatively happy, for the most part. i asked my beta reader what they wanted to see from me - toji or gojo and they said toji. and well, here we are. the song this is based off from is called think about things by daĂ°i freyr.
also what megumi accidentally said was ăŽă which expresses waste/garbage, encompassing things made by human acts. precious little megumi intended to say ăăŸ which is sesame. megumi is still only a few months old!!! he's still learning how to speak!!! in any case, i hope you enjoyed this. i love you all!!! see you in the next one <3
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ââââââââââââââââââ
FUSHIGURO TOJI THINKS HEâS NEVER BELIEVED IN WONDER. From the moment he was born, such a thing did not exist. Not even his mother believed it. Not even when he was born. But he thinks that after her sufferings, he wouldn't doubt it that he too inherited such grief and pain too.
Even having grown up in a sorcerer clan, where he saw things that could make anyone go in awe â nothing about it had made him feel like there was anything worth the thought. Nothing about being a Zenin was worth wondering or for that matter, worth remembering.Â
But everything after that, especially when you came into his life, did he think they were possible. That wonders did exist in this life and he could have it. He was worth having. He was worth giving such wonders to.
And everything about wonder, he had learned from you. Every sense of the word, the texture, the taste, the feeling. Everything started when he met you. Every good thing sprung into life, like spring, when he met you.Â
Fushiguro Toji believed that each person has only truly had three special wonders in their lives, nothing more and nothing less. It was almost something out of a genieâs lamp. Three wishes, three gifts, three wonders.
And Toji likes to think that heâs used up all his three wonders. But he was alright with that. He liked to think that he was content with having used it up. Because everything about his life now consisted of those three wonders.Â
The first was when he first saw you, and then smiled at him so warmly. The second was when you agreed to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him. And the third? Oh, nothing could ever beat the third. That day when you made him a father, the day when your precious son Megumi was born into this world.Â
Toji couldnât help but stay there for a moment, his large frame silhouetted against the soft light spilling in from the hallway. He didnât dare move too quickly or too loudly, worried that even the smallest disturbance might wake his precious son Megumi. And yet, despite the quiet, his mind was anything but still.
He had fought the worst of the worst in life, faced death more times than he could count, and lived a life dictated by survival. But none of that had prepared him for this: the weight of fatherhood.
Not the kind of weight that came from responsibility or the logistical burdens of raising a child. No, this was heavier. This was the realization that he was holding the entirety of someone elseâs future in his calloused, scarred hands.
When Fushiguro Megumi had first been placed in his arms at the hospital, Toji had frozen. The baby was impossibly small, a bundle wrapped in a soft blanket that felt foreign against his skin.
Toji had stared down at the little face, this precious little face and saw that little face be endlessly red and then pale. He saw that face turn red again as the features scrunched up and echo into those heart-wrenching fits of crying.Â
For a split second, all he could admit to was his heart racing so fast against his chest. He was nothing but panicked. Toji never thought he would ever end up finding himself terrified of something.
He was terrified that he couldnât stop his baby from crying. He was terrified of how small he was, and how big his hands could be to hold something as precious as this little boy. Just as fast, Toji had ended up thinking about all the things he didnât know: how to soothe him, how to feed him, how to even hold him properly.
He didnât know how to. How does a father look tenderly at his baby son and tell him itâs going to be alright? How does a father let his voice be the calmest and quietest comfort in the world? How does a father have soft kind hands with such scarred, brutish hands?
Toji couldnât help it but he stood there, holding the most precious wonder in life and had just as quickly thought of all the ways he might fail â panicked and afraid, wondering if there was ever going to be a chance that heâll end up doing well. That heâd end up doing right by this precious wonder, this precious treasure.Â
But now, almost eight months later, Fushiguro Toji stood here watching his son sleep, something shifted.
His little Megumiâs tiny fingers twitched again, his expression relaxing into something peaceful. He was so precious in this way, Toji thinks. The world stops and becomes a bright wonder for his son.
Tojiâs lips quivered into a crooked smile, a tender warmth spreading through his chest that he hadnât known ever existed before heâd had his little boy, his precious treasure. He crouched down, resting his forearms on the edge of the crib, and let his voice drop to a murmur, as though speaking too loudly might shatter the moment.
âYouâre so small still, hm?â he said softly, almost as if confessing to the baby. âSmaller than I thought. And yet you are growing so much. Even bigger than back at the hospital, when you were born. But... I guess itâs cos youâre a big boy already, arenât you? Our Megumiâs already growing, huh? Doinâ everything you could to be stronger.âÂ
For a moment, he couldnât help but hesitate as his fingers brushed against Megumiâs back. His little son moved slightly, against the touch. He must know his father was here. But Toji felt weary about waking his little son up.
He was up for a while, and only just fell asleep a while ago. But Megumi went back soundly to sleep. And Toji felt some relief. His precious boy is going to get some rest tonight.
âHey âgumi. Iâm gonna be here, okay? Not like my father.â His voice felt thicker at those words, despite the fact that Every step of the way. I donât know if Iâm good at this... but Iâll try, kid. Iâll always try.â
The words came out unpolished, unpracticed, but there was a rawness in them that surprised even him. Toji never thought of himself as the sentimental type, but Megumi had a way of drawing things out of him that he didnât even know were there.
Maybe it was the way your little son had come to look like you, or maybe it was the undeniable fact that your precious treasure named Fushiguro Megumi was part of himâa part he didnât know he could love so much.
As he continued to watch, Megumi stirred again, this time letting out a tiny sound that made Tojiâs chest ache. He reached out hesitantly, his hand hovering over the crib for a moment before finally brushing against the babyâs blanket-covered chest. It was a small, tentative gesture, but it felt monumental.
âI donât know what youâll think about the world, or me one day, you know?â Toji murmured, his voice almost a whisper now. âBut I want to know. Someday, when youâre big enough to talk, Iïżœïżœïżœll listen. To every little thing. And until then... Iâll keep trying to figure this out.â
The babyâs breathing deepened, a soft sigh escaping him, and Toji let out a breath he hadnât realized he was holding. He straightened, glancing down at Megumi. The truth was, Toji had never expected to live a life where someone else depended on him.Â
Heâd grown up in a world where strength was currency, where attachments were liabilities, and where survival meant keeping your guard up at all costs. That was how it was when you were born a Zenin. No ifs, no buts.
He had lived in the shadows of loss and anger for so long that the idea of something so beautiful and uncorrupted and pure, something as delicate and innocent as his precious treasure Megumiâfelt almost impossible to comprehend. And for that pure existence to be born from him, because of him.Â
Toji couldnât help but feel like it wasnât real. That something with such a cursed existence as him could ever have something like happiness. And yet, here he was. His precious son, born out of love between you and him. And he could see him.Â
Even now as heâs standing outside that room, chest tight with a strange combination of fear and determination â he convinces himself that his son was here, his precious son was here, because he loved him. Because he loved you. And he deserves this. This was the life he deserves. He always will.Â
For a moment, he closes his eyes and takes a breath. Before long, he whispers a good-night to his little one and flees to the living room, just near his sonâs room. If Megumi gets hungry, heâll bring him some of your milk stock from the fridge. There was no reason to wake you. You still had work later. Â
He goes to the couch and closes his eyes again. He had to go and get some rest here. If he comes back to bed, he might be too loud when he gets back in. And heâd want to be there quickly if Megumi needed anything. Thatâs what he was here for, as your loving house-husband. But he finds that he canât sleep.Â
Even now, he still canât help but feel restless. What if he gets too much sleep and he doesnât wake up? He had to make you and Megumi breakfast in the morning too. He opened his eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling before a soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.
âToji? Baby?â
It was you, standing a few steps away, wrapped in the oversized robe you always wore around the house. Your hair was slightly mussed, your face soft with the haze of sleep, but your eyes were sharp, focused. You must have noticed the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw clenched and unclenched as though he was wrestling with himself.
âIs everything okay?â you asked, voice gentle but edged with concern.
Toji turned to look at you, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, with a small, almost sheepish shrug, he nodded. âYeah. Heâs asleep.â
You stepped closer, your hand finding its way to his arm. Your touch was grounding, and Toji found himself leaning into it without realizing. âYouâre sure? You look... tense.â
He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. âTense, huh? Guess thatâs not wrong.â He glanced back at the door, his voice dropping to something softer, more vulnerable. âI was just... thinking.â
âAbout?â
âAbout him.â His blueâgreen eyes met yours briefly before flickering away, as though the weight of his thoughts was too much to share directly. âI donât know what the hell Iâm doing, you know? I look at him, and... heâs so small. So... breakable. And Iââ
He stopped, biting back the words, his brows furrowing. You squeezed his arm gently, waiting for him to find the rest of his sentence. You knew that your husband has had a lot of concern about being a father.
Heâs told you some of what heâd experienced as a child, and sometimes about his father. But not everything. So, this was the first time youâve heard things from him personally, this loud and this vulnerable. Your face contorts at his pain.
âI donât want to mess this up, babe.â he finally admitted, the words coming out in a low, almost reluctant rumble. âI donât want to mess him up. I donât want to be like my father, babe. I wanna be a good father to him. I want to love him so much and I justâŠ.â
Your heart ached at the rawness in his voice, at the vulnerability he rarely let show. You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around his middle and pressing your cheek against his chest. For a moment, he stiffened. He always did, as though he wasnât quite used to comfortâbut then he relaxed, his arms circling around you.
âYou wonât mess him up, baby.â you said softly. âYou love him. You wonât end up like your father. You love Megumi, he is our treasure. Thatâs why you love him. Thatâs what matters most. And youâre trying. Thatâs more than enough.â
He let out another shaky breath, his chin resting lightly on the top of your head. âTrying doesnât feel like enough,â he muttered. âNot for him. He deserves... more.â
âHe deserves you, baby.â you corrected, pulling back just enough to look up at him. âThe you whoâs here, whoâs holding him, whoâs promising to be there. Thatâs all he needs. Thatâs all we both need.â
For a long moment, Fushiguro Toji just stared at you, his blue-green eyes searching your own bright orbs as though trying to find something he couldnât quite name. Finally, he nodded, a small, almost imperceptible dip of his head. His face looked a little bit more relaxed, with your reassurance.
âYeahâŠ..â he said quietly. âOkay.â
You smiled, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his face. âCome on. Letâs get some rest. Youâll need your energy when he wakes up in the middle of the night.â
âBabe, I should stay hereââ
âNo, no. You have super hearing, baby. You can get up when he wakes up. Come on, stop being a helicopter parent already and let our son sleep.â
Toji groaned softly at your words, but there was a faint smirk tugging at his lips as he let you guide him down the hall. For now, he would take things one moment at a time. One step at a time.
Because for all the uncertainty, for all the fears that lingered in the back of his mind, one thing was clear: he had a family now. A real one. And for them, Fushiguro Toji would do anything.
ââââââââââââââââââ
YOUR MATERNAL LEAVE IS FINALLY OVER. So in a way, the house was quieter now. Quieter than Fushiguro Toji had expected it to be with a growing baby around, though the stillness wasnât something he disliked.
And with how youâd gone back to work today, leaving him to take care of Megumi for the first time on his own. So Fushiguro Toji was certain, he was going to have all hands on deck.Â
Heâd joked about it before you left, tossing off some comments about how hard it could be. But now, standing in the living room with his tiny son in his arms, he was realizing it was more daunting than he let on.
Heâd had you around the house for a long while and he had gotten used to it. He had become a rusty houseâhusband and more so, an already rusty father.
Fushiguro Megumi couldnât help but fuss a little, with his little face scrunching up in that telltale way that meant a cry wasnât far behind.
Toji sighed a little, looking softly at his precious boy as he shifted him gently, cradling him against his chest and bouncing on his heels like heâd seen you do a hundred times before.
âHey, âgumi. Easy, okay?â he murmured, his voice low and soothing. âI gotcha. No need to get all worked up.â
Megumi quieted, though his tiny fists still curled and uncurled against Tojiâs shirt. Toji looked down at him, his expression softening. Tired as he was, he was always content when he looked at his son. Everything pays off.
It wasnât often he let himself feel thisâthis quiet kind of contentment. But when he was holding Megumi, feeling his warmth and hearing his little breaths, it was impossible not to. Everything Toji does, everything you both do; itâs all for Megumi.
âToji?â Youâd asked that morning, lingering by the door as you prepared to leave. âAre you sure youâll be okay?â
âMe?â heâd scoffed, smirking. âIâve handled worse than a baby, you know. Iâd be fine with our son, babe. Trust me.â
But now, hours later, Toji found himself pacing the living room, humming softly under his breath to keep Megumi calm. A melody came to him,something his mother used to sing. It was very rare for his mother to hold him for that long, that heâd remember. But sheâd held him enough to hum melodies to him. Those were Tojiâs first memories.
They werenât overcomplicated tunes, if one was to hear it. If anything, they were the kind you donât think about too hardâsomething simple, warm, and steady. But sometimes, heâd remember the lyrics. And Toji would find that those words would stir something in his little son, as much as they do for him, remembering his own mother.
Toji didnât know if his voice was good enough to be heard, or to be enjoyed in a song. But Megumi seems to not mind his voice. If anything, little Megumi seems to be fond of his voice. And Toji relished that thought. He might not be the best in the world in singing, but heâs glad that at the very least, it comforts his son.
âWhen we are togetherâŠ.â he sang quietly, his deep voice surprisingly tender. âThere isnât anywhere that I would rather be.â
Megumi stirred, his dark blueâgreen orbs tiredly blinking up at his father, and Toji couldnât help but smile softly at the sight. He kept rocking his little boy gently, the words of the song coming easier now, as though they belonged to this moment.
âThree birds of a featherâŠ..â he continued, his lips quivering in a half-smile, memories of his mother flooding his mind. âI just hope you enjoy our company.â
His little son couldnât help but gurgle softly at his words, and Toji took that as a good sign, his confidence growing. He walked to the large window overlooking the bright flourishing garden he had planted and let the beckoning sunlight spill over them both.
âItâs been some time and though hard to define, as if the stars have started to alignâŠâ He continued to sing softly. Toji looked down at Megumi again, his expression uncharacteristically gentle. âWe are bound together, now and forever. And I will never let you go.â
His little baby boy cooed, his little hand reaching up to grasp at the fabric of Tojiâs tight shirt. Toji stilled, staring at the tiny fingers that clung to him as though Megumi understood every word heâd just sung. He couldnât help but snicker.
âYeah, you and me, kid.â he murmured. âAnd mama, too. Never forget your precious mama, hm? Weâre always going to be three birds of a feather, okay?â
The quiet stretched on as Toji carried Megumi back to the couch, easing down into the cushions while keeping the baby close. He thought about you, about how hard it must have been for you to leave this morning, even though you tried to hide it. He thought about how much you trusted him to take care of Megumi, how much faith you had in him to do right by your son.
And as the baby drifted off to sleep in his arms, Fushiguro Toji felt it againâthat strange, overwhelming sense of belonging. It wasnât something heâd sought out, and it sure as hell wasnât something he thought he deserved. But as he sat there, holding Megumi, he realized that this was it. This was everything.
When you returned home later that day from work, you were tired. But you couldnât stop smiling. As you got closer inside you found them both on the couch. Your husband Toji was leaning back, his head tilted to the side, dozing lightly. Your treasure, little Megumi, was nestled against his fatherâs chest, his little hand still clutching at Tojiâs shirt.
You stood there for a moment, your heart swelling at the sight, and whispered. âThree birds of a feather, all three of us. Just like you said, huh, baby?â
And though Toji didnât stir, a faint smile tugged at his lips, as if heâd heard you all the same. You stepped closer, the quiet creak of the floorboards barely stirring the peaceful scene in front of you. Tojiâs chest rose and fell steadily, his broad arms wrapped protectively around Megumi.Â
Your heart swelled as you watched them, a moment of stillness in your otherwise chaotic world. It wasnât a sight youâd ever imagined when you first met Toji, but now, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Careful not to wake either of them, you crouched by the couch and reached out, gently brushing your fingers through Megumiâs soft hair. His tiny face was relaxed, his mouth slightly open in the kind of sleep only babies seemed to achieve. Your gaze shifted to Toji, his sharp features softened by the faint glow of the setting sun spilling through the window.
âToji, baby.â you whispered, keeping your voice low. âIâm home.â
His bright blueâgreen eyes cracked open, the colors of his irises catching the light. He blinked slowly, as if pulling himself out of a dream, and then his gaze landed on you. He processed the world and it stopped when he looked at you. Like when he met you. A small, lazy smile crept onto your husbandâs beautiful lips.
âHey, babe.â he murmured, his voice rough from sleep. âYouâre back. Welcome home.â
You nodded, your fingers still brushing over Megumiâs hair. âHow was it? Your first day as the primary stay at home parent for the first time?â
Toji huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly without jostling Megumi. âDidnât burn the place down, did I?â
You grinned, leaning your chin on the edge of the couch. âI donât see any scorch marks at all, baby. Iâd say thatâs a win.â
He snorted softly, but there was a flicker of something deeper in his expressionâsomething vulnerable. âHeâs⊠a lot quieter than I thought heâd be. Iâd always thought that young kids would be like that butâŠ.Megumi spent most of the day just watching me like I was some kind of puzzle he was trying to figure out.â
âThatâs Megumi for you, you know?â you said, your smile softening. âHeâs always been observant. Like someone else I know.â
Toji raised a brow, but he didnât argue. Instead, he looked down at the baby in his arms, his hand shifting to rest against Megumiâs back. For a moment, he was silent, and then he spoke, his voice quieter this time.
âHeâs a good kid, our little âgumi.â he said, almost to himself. âHe doesnât even cry much. Just stares at me like heâs waiting for me to say something smart.â
You laughed softly, careful not to wake the baby. âAnd did you?â
âCourse not, babe.â he muttered, though the corner of his mouth twitched. âBut I⊠I talked to him. Sang, too.â
Your eyes widened slightly. You slowly smiled. You loved your husbandâs voice too. And you were certain that your love for his voice was transported to your son too. âYou sang to him, baby?â
Toji rolled his eyes, though a faint blush crept up his neck. âDonât make a big deal out of it, babe. He seemed to like it, thatâs all.â
Your heart melted at the thought of Toji singing to Megumi, his deep voice wrapping around words meant only for his son. You reached out, your hand covering his where it rested on Megumiâs back.
âYouâre doing great, baby.â you said softly. âYou know that, right? Iâm so proud of you.â
He glanced at you, his expression guarded for a moment before it softened. âIâm just⊠figuring it out as I go. Donât wanna mess this up.â
âYou wonât, baby. Iâm certain about your success.â you assured him. âNot with how much you care about him.â
Toji didnât respond right away, but his grip on Megumi tightened slightly, as if to anchor himself. After a moment, he nodded, his gaze dropping back to the sleeping baby. He lets out a relieved sigh before letting a small smile echo on his lips.
âYeah, I guess so.â he murmured. âWeâre figuring it out. The three of us.â
âThree birds of a feather, you told me before.â you said quietly, the words slipping out before you could think about it. âWeâll figure it all out.â
Tojiâs lips echoed into a bigger smile, and he glanced at you, his green eyes warm. âYeah. That sounds about right.â
As the sun dipped lower, casting a golden glow over the room, you stayed there by the couch, your hand resting over his. It wasnât perfect, and it wouldnât always be easy.
But as you looked at the two of them, your husband and your son, you felt the stars aligning. You were bound together, now and forever. And none of you would ever let go.
ââââââââââââââââââ
TODAY WAS A DAY OFF. So Toji had let you doze off for a little while longer. He thought that with how you were trying to still settle with balancing life as a new mother and also a career woman, it takes a toll on you.
And more than anything, you deserve a chance to have some chance to just relax. So, you hadnât noticed how long you had actually slept until you saw the clock by your bedside table. 10:30 am. You sat up immediately.
The moment you stepped out of your room, you tried to be as quiet as possible. A smile echoes across your lips as you find yourself stopping and listening for a moment. You could hear Tojiâs deep voice coming from the living room.
It had that playful lilt he used only with Megumiâlow and teasing, with just a hint of childish mockery. You smiled to yourself as you moved toward the source of the commotion.
In the living room, you found the two of them on the floor. Your two boys had a little bubble of their own. And you suspect that they've had that bubble since before dawn. Megumi gets angsty and wakes up at that time, wanting some milk.
Your husband Toji was sitting cross-legged, Megumi perched in front of him on a soft play mat. Your sonâs little face was scrunched up in what could only be described as a glare, his tiny fists clenched at his sides. Your husband Toji, still rather oblivious to the budding storm brewing in his child, was grinning like an idiot.
âMegumi, hey..... kidâŠ.whatâs that look for?â Toji was saying, leaning down so their faces were at the same level. âWhatâs with that intense focus, huh? You pooping or what? You gotta let papa know, so he can prepare. Your poop goes nuclear, you know that? Papa smells it on his hands even after he washes, hm?â
Megumi let out a frustrated sound, his little glare intensifying, which only made Toji laugh harder. âYeah, youâre definitely working on something, arenât you? Whatâs it gonna be, huh? A big one?â
âGomi!â Megumi suddenly blurted, his little voice sharp and determined as he glared daggers at his father.
Fushiguro Toji couldnât help but freeze up. He found himself blinking in surprise. For a moment, the world stood still as he tried to process what his little son just said, as perhaps â his very first word. Â
âWhat?â he asked, tilting his head like heâd misheard. âDid you just call me gomi?â
You couldnât hold back your laugh anymore, clutching the wall for support as you doubled over. The absurdity of the situation, paired with Tojiâs stunned expression, was too much.Your son was always so full of surprises.Â
âOh my god, babyâŠ..he called you trash!â you managed between laughs.
Toji turned his wide-eyed gaze to you, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to figure out how to defend himself. âHey, wait a minute! I donât think he meantââ
âGomi!â Megumi said again, louder this time, pointing a tiny finger at his father. His glare hadnât wavered in the slightest, his baby cheeks puffed out in sheer indignation.
âI swear to the heavens aboveâŠâ Toji said, now more flustered than youâd ever seen him. âIâm not gomi! What the hell, kid?!â
Still laughing, you finally found your balance from the laughing fits. You walked over and lowered yourself as you scooped Megumi into your arms, kissing his head as his tiny arms flailed indignantly. Your husbandâs frown was evident frustration.Â
âI donât think our sonâs not calling you trash, baby.â you said, wiping a tear from your eye. âHeâs trying to say goma. Sesame. Heâs been seeing it in TV commercials when I feed him some milk these past few nights. He might have caught up with it and babbled it andâŠit just didnât end up as translated.â
Toji stared at you, then at Megumi, who was now nestled against your chest, still glaring at him like heâd committed the ultimate betrayal. âSesame?â Toji repeated, frowning. âWhy the hell is he glaring at me, then?â
âMaybe because you keep asking him if heâs pooping, baby.â you said with a grin, bouncing Megumi lightly to calm him down. âHonestly, baby, would you want someone to do that to you?â
Toji groaned, dragging a hand down his face. âGreat. First real word he says to me, and itâs calling me gomi, babe. Kidâs already taking after you.â
You snorted, pressing another kiss to Megumiâs cheek. âDonât blame me because heâs got taste, baby. Our son takes after his mother well!â
âYeah, yeah.â Toji grumbled, though there was a hint of amusement in his tone. He reached out and ruffled Megumiâs hair, despite the babyâs continued glare. âFine, kid. Iâll let it lose this time okay? You win this time, hm? But papa is not a gomi, got it?â
Megumi didnât respond, but the glare softened just enough for Toji to let out a relieved sigh. âThatâs what I thought. Just like your mama.â he muttered, before looking back at you. âAre you laughing at me the whole time?â
âAbsolutely, baby.â you said with a grin. âAnd Iâll be telling this story forever.â
Toji groaned again, but you caught the corner of his mouth twitching upward, unable to hide his fondness as he watched Megumi settle back into your arms. Even when his son thought he was trash, Toji couldnât help but adore him.
As the laughter subsided and your little Megumi relaxed in your arms, you couldnât help but keep grinning at the ridiculous scene youâd just walked in on. It was like your husband found himself in outer space. And he was still debating whether aliens were real.
Fushiguro Toji sat back on his hands, still looking flabbergasted as his blue-green eyes darted between you and Megumi. HIs eyes narrowed for a moment and then a short breath releases from his lips. He shook his head, muttering under his breath.
âUnbelievable.â he grumbled, though there was a clear hint of amusement now in his tone. âFirst words. Gomi. What are the odds?â
You chuckled, bouncing Megumi lightly on your hip. âOh, donât be so dramatic. Heâs been trying to say goma all week, and you just happened to push his buttons at the wrong time.â
âPushed his buttons?â Toji said, straightening up. âAll I did was ask if he was pooping! Thatâs fair game when someoneâs giving you that face!â
You couldnât help but laugh again, glancing down at Megumi, who was still sporting a little frown but had mostly calmed down. âMaybe heâs tired of you questioning his dignity, baby.â you teased. âHeâs got standards, you know.â
âStandards?â Toji repeated, narrowing his eyes at his son. âThis coming from a kid who tried to eat his own foot this morning?â
âGomi!â Megumi declared again, his little finger pointing accusingly at Toji, as if to double down on his stance.
You burst out laughing, nearly stumbling as you tried to hold Megumi steady. âOh my god, Toji, baby. It's rough! youâve been officially labeled. Thereâs no coming back from this now!â
Toji let out a long, exaggerated sigh, dragging a hand down his face before flopping dramatically onto his back. âThis kidâs out to get me. This is just....ugh.â he mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. âFirst itâs gomi, next thing I know, heâll be telling his teachers Iâm a garbage dad.â
âYouâll survive, baby.â you said with a grin, moving to sit beside him on the mat. Megumi squirmed in your arms, reaching out toward Toji with his chubby little hands. âSee? He doesnât mean it. He loves you, trash talk and all.â
Toji sat up just enough to take Megumi from you, holding the baby in front of him at armâs length as if inspecting him for further insults. âYouâre lucky youâre cute, Megumi.â he said, narrowing his blue-green eyes towards his little boy.
Megumi stared back at him, his lips twitching as if he was trying to form another word. For a moment, both you and Toji held your breath, waiting to see what would come out next.
âGooooo-ma.â Megumi finally said, his voice softer this time, and he clapped his little hands together as if proud of himself. "Go-ma!"
Toji blinked, his expression shifting from stunned to triumphant. âThere it is! Goma! Thatâs what you meant, huh? Not gomi. Goma! Great job, âgumi!â
âGood job, my little treasure!â you cheered, clapping along with Megumi.
Toji puffed out his chest, grinning at you like heâd just won a major battle. âSee? I told you the kid doesnât think Iâm trash.â
âOh, donât act like you werenât sweating there for a second, baby.â you teased, nudging him playfully.
âWhatever.â he said, pulling Megumi closer and nuzzling his cheek, much to the babyâs delight. âThis little guy knows his old manâs the best out there, hm? Donât you, kid?â
Megumi giggled, reaching up to grab a handful of Tojiâs hair. Your rather contently resigned husband snickered, taking a deep sigh and letting his son do as he wished.
You let out a small laugh, your heart warm. Life was great like this. And you were truly grateful, as much as you know Toji was, that this was your life day to day.
âYeah, yeah, baby.â you said with a fond smile, watching them. âFor now, at least. Just wait until he starts picking up on all your bad habits.â
Toji shot you a playful glare, but there was nothing but warmth in his eyes as he cradled Megumi against his chest. âBad habits, huh? Iâll teach him the important stuff. Like how to dodge a jab andââ
âAnd maybe not how to taunt people until they call you garbage.â you cut in, smirking at your husband.
Toji groaned, but the sound was filled with affection. âFine, fine. You win this one. But just wait. Next word he says is gonna be dad. Calling it now, babe. Third timeâs the charm!â
âWhatever you say, gomiâkun.â you teased, unable to resist one last jab.
He shot you a look, but the soft laugh he let out was enough to tell you he didnât mind. In fact, you could tell he was enjoying every bit of thisâyour teasing, Megumiâs growing personality, the quiet chaos of your little family.
And as you watched him hold Megumi, the baby now giggling uncontrollably as Fushiguro Toji playfully poked his chubby cheeks, you knew there was no place any of you both would rather be.
Especially your beloved husband. Even if Megumi decided to call him gomi again tomorrow. That all didn't matter. As long as you were together, happy and content.
ââââââââââââââââââ
epilogueÂ
The next morning, after breakfast and while you were doing the laundry, the air was thick with anticipation. The kind of anticipation that only a determined father can have when his child is on the verge of accomplishing a great featâlike calling him "oto-san" or "dad".
Toji, sitting on the floor cross-legged like he was preparing for a life-altering event, had a ridiculous amount of hope in his eyes. Megumi was seated in front of him on the playmat, his big bright blueâgreen eyes wide and serious, as if he understood the gravity of the moment.
âOto-san.â Toji said, his voice impossibly soft, practically dripping with encouragement. âSay it with me, Megumi. O-to-san. You can do it, little man.â
Megumi, who was sitting cross-legged just like his dad (it was adorable how he tried to copy every little thing Toji did), looked up at him, his tiny face scrunched up as he processed the words. He was staring at Toji like he was decoding some ancient language, his eyes darting from Toji's mouth to his eyes, clearly focused.
Toji waited, leaning in a little closer as though the two of them were sharing a secret. âOto-san. Come on. Say it.â Toji repeated slowly for his little son. âO-to-san.â
Megumi blinked once, twice, and you could practically hear the little gears turning in his mind, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was exaggerated. âGomi!â
You couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. The way your Toji looked completely deflated at the sound of the wordâagainâwas too much. He had been trying so hard to do what he could since this morning and so far, Megumi hasn't been cooperating.
He slumped back onto his hands, shaking his head in mock exasperation, though you could see the smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite his best efforts to act annoyed.
"Not again, kid!" Toji groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. âIâm not gomi! Iâm Oto-san! Youâre really gonna call me trash again, huh?â
Megumi, blissfully unaware of the comedic frustration he was causing, grinned up at Toji. His tiny face lit up like a lightbulb, pleased with the attention, clearly proud of himself for having mastered the art of taunting his father in a single syllable.
âI swear, kidâŠ..â Toji muttered, but his voice was full of affection. âYouâre gonna be the death of me.â
You leaned against the doorframe, watching the whole thing unfold, utterly charmed by the two of them. Toji, the intimidating figure who was capable of single-handedly taking down enemies twice his size, now reduced to a pile of goo over his sonâs simple interactions.Â
And Fushiguro Megumi, with his wide, innocent eyes, staring at his dad like he was the most important person in the world.
âLetâs try again, okay?â Toji said, his tone shifting back to encouragement. âCome on, Megumi. O-to-san. You can do it.â
Megumi was still focused on Toji, his big eyes narrowed in thought, like he was really going to work for this one. And for a moment, Tojiâs gaze softened, watching his son struggle so seriously with something as simple as a word. There was no trace of impatience on his face now, only patience and quiet joy at being in this moment with his son, who was so determined.
âO-to-sanâ Toji repeated slowly, the words rolling off his tongue like they were sacred, full of meaning. âO-to-san.â
Megumi blinked again and then, just as you thought the whole thing was going to repeat itself with another triumphant âGomiâ â your little treasure of a son did something that was rather unexpected, even for his own father.
He looked down at his little hands for a moment, and then, in a burst of focus, he looked back up at Toji. This time, his little mouth formed the word slowly, with effort. âO...to...san.â
Toji froze. His entire body stilled, as if the universe itself had shifted. He blinked, then blinked again, his eyes wide with disbelief. âDid... did you just sayââ His voice was breathless, almost as if he couldnât believe what he was hearing. âDid you just say... Oto-san?â
Megumiâs face lit up with an innocent pride, a mischievous little grin spreading across his face as though he knew heâd just done something monumental. He reached up, patting Tojiâs cheek, as if confirming what had just happened.
Toji, his heart swelling with emotions you didnât even know he was capable of, immediately scooped Megumi into his arms. The baby squealed, giggling in surprise as he was lifted up, and Toji held him close, pressing his cheek against his sonâs own chubby ones.
âYou did it, kid. You really said it. O-to-san.â He repeated it like he was relishing every syllable. âDad. Otoâsan.â he whispered, almost in awe. âYou said it.â
You couldnât contain the warm laugh that bubbled up from your chest, a soft, happy sound that filled the room as you walked over to them. You bent down, brushing a hand through Megumiâs soft hair as he clung to his dad, who was still holding him in a vice grip, clearly elated.
âOh my god, Toji, baby.â you said, grinning from ear to ear. âYou did it. Youâre officially Oto-san.â
Toji looked up at you, a grin breaking across his face, his eyes shining with joy. âYou hear that? Oto-san! He said it!â His voice was practically vibrating with excitement.
You leaned in to kiss Megumiâs cheek, and he responded by beaming up at you, his tiny arms reaching toward both of you as if he was basking in the love that was flooding the room. "Heâs got his first word," you said softly, holding him gently. âOto-san.â
Tojiâs expression softened, his hands tightening around his son as if he were trying to hold onto this moment forever. âMan, I never thought Iâd get to hear that. First âgomiâ and then âOto-sanâ... Iâm already getting my father of the year award.â
âDefinitely, baby.â you teased, sitting down beside them. âFirst he calls you trash, now heâs calling you dad. Youâre on a roll!â
Toji grinned widely, holding Megumi up like heâd just won a trophy. âYeah, well, Iâm Oto-san now. All the âgomiâ in the world canât take that away from me.â
Megumi, as if he understood the gravity of the moment, raised his hands in a victorious gesture, causing both of you to laugh. Tojiâs joy was practically radiating off of him, and you could tell that, for him, this moment, this small, perfect momentâwas everything to your husband.
As you all sat together, with Megumi snuggled between you and Toji, you couldnât help but smile at the scene. Toji might have started this whole "Oto-san" lesson with a bit of desperation, but now, he was on top of the world.Â
The way Megumi had slowly figured out the word, and the way Toji had been so patientâthere was a deep love in the room. It wasnât just about the word itself; it was about the bond they were building.
âI think heâs got it, baby.â you said, watching as Toji continued to whisper the word to Megumi. âOto-san... your first real word. Heâll be saying it a lot from now on.â
Toji, still holding Megumi close, sighed happily, a sense of peace settling over him. âYeah.â he said, his voice full of warmth and affection. âOto-san. Iâm good with that.â
And in that moment, with the three of you together in the warmth of your home, everything felt right.
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I'm proud of you - Jude Bellingham
Summary: Comforting sad and defeated Jude after England's loss. Warning: Sad moment, comforting Words: <1k
The referee blows the final whistle.
It was over. England lost. It all happened too quickly. Spain scoring in the last minutes didn't even give us time to process the situation.
I was sitting in the stands with Jude's family. We all shed a tear once the Spanish players started celebrating. Seeing Jude go off to the bench and kick something was a heartbreaking yet scary sight for me. Instantly, I knew that was going to be a sight for the media.
He's not like that at all. He just really wanted this win. With people being all over him, critiquing him, he really wanted to prove them wrong, to make England proud. I couldn't be more proud of him, though. He achieved amazing things in this competition.
As I watched him from afar, I wished I could just run down and hold him, tell him it was okay. I knew how much he had invested in this tournament, how much he had sacrificed. His dedication and his passio were the qualities that made him extraordinary. Those were the reasons why I fell in love with him.
Feeling an overwhelming urge to be closer to him, I excused myself from his family and made my way down to the lower stands, closer to the field. As I approached the edge, I saw Jude pacing back and forth, his frustration evident in every step. When he finally noticed me, our eyes locked. He hesitated for a moment, then walked over.
With his help, I crossed the barrier and immediately fell into his arms, holding his head tightly into my neck. I could feel him shaking from all the emotions he was going through.
"I messed up," he muttered, his voice muffled against my shoulder.
"No, you didn't," I said firmly, my hand gently running through his hair. "You were incredible, baby. You gave it your all." He pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with tears. "It wasn't enough. It wasn't fucking enough." "Hey," I cupped his face gently, putting my forehead against his. "Listen to me. You were amazing out there. You fought so hard, and everyone saw it."
He didn't know what to say. I could see he wanted to let go of everything he was feeling, but the words wouldn't come.
"Just stay calm, baby," I tried to comfort him, reminding him that losing is part of the game and keeping his composure is important. "You can use this to come back even stronger."
I knew my words might not have a big impact on him in that moment. It was all still raw and fresh for him, so I simply held him tighter in my arms. He pulled back slightly, his eyes still glistening. "I have to go, baby. They're going to do the ceremony."
"I know," I said softly. He kissed my forehead.
"I'll meet you afterwards," I told him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
He nodded, giving me one last look before turning and walking towards his teammates. As I walked up the stands to where his family was, I felt a mix of pride and heartache.
After England had their moment, Jude walked up to us and hugged his family. They all expressed how proud they were of him, trying not to show any sadness in front of him.
He sat down with his head low. I gently lifted his chin, earning a small, faint smile from him.
"I'm sorry for disappointing you guys," he managed to say to them.
I sat on his lap, holding him close to my chest. It pained me to see him like this, unable to erase his sadness.
"You never disappoint us, Jude," his mom reassured him, holding his hand tightly.
I arrived at my hotel room feeling exhausted and heartbroken for Jude. He had to return to the hotel with the team. There was nothing I wanted more than to have him in my arms and try to ease his sadness, even just a little. I was about to get into bed after finishing my nighttime routine when I heard a faint knock on the door. I opened it to find Jude standing there, his shoulders slumped and a tired look on his face. "They told me it's okay," he said quickly, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed.
He took off his shirt and sweatpants and collapsed onto the bed, pulling me with him. His head immediately rested on my chest as he hugged me tightly.
"It's going to be okay, baby," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his head and kissing his forehead repeatedly. "These bad feelings will pass, trust me."
I ran my fingers through his hair, knowing it helped him relax and fall asleep. I kept kissing his forehead and cuddling him until I felt his grip around my waist loosen slightly, indicating he had fallen asleep.
"You'll always be my champion, baby," I whispered softly." I love you so much, Jude Bellingham."
#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x you#footballer imagines#football#football imagine#football players
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A Husband's Duty
Summary: The day Aemond Targaryen wields power over the Realm has finally arrived | Word Count: 2.4k~ | Warnings: semi-public sex, oral sex (m recieving), rough sex, degradation
She knew the moment Lord Wylde and Lord Lannister filed out of the Small Council Chambers, chest puffed out like prize pigeons and an inflated sense of male ego what had transpired. She was no fool to the endless politicking her husband had been involved in of late. And such that he was embroiled with his mother, the Dowager Queen Alicent.
Maester Orwyle merely followed, head lowered as if he were tired of listening to such ruinous plans for the Realm. Endless murmurs swirled, all with her husband's name on their lips.
Her mother by marriage did not even raise her eyes to her when she passed. At least Ser Criston had the decency to lower his head in greeting, but it mattered naught to her. She herself did not pass a single glance to Lord Larys, despite feeling his gaze on her as he limped away.
No. She was here to see what her husband had always felt destined to become.
The air crackled with tension once the door was closed behind her, leaving them both alone in the vast space where her husband would now command. He stood proud, and no crown adorned his brow, but he appeared as if he had one. Envisioning hin in the Conquerorâs Crown, Targaryen locks falling around his shoulders, was enough for her lips to quirk up.
Seeing him poised for power made her heart race with excitement. His single eye glinted with satisfaction, but she saw the restrained hunger she knew well beneath even that. She had always adored the way his gaze would rake over her, with that alone, he possessed more power of intimacy over her than some married couples saw in a lifetime.
âYou wear it well, my love,â she mused, rounding the table to step closer to him, her fingers trailing over the fine embroidery of his tunic. âThe weight of the Realm suits you.â
The sharpness in his usual expression softened for her. âDoes it now?â he murmured, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He stepped toward her, his tall, imposing frame did not shadow her confidence. âThe Realm bends to me. As it should.â
âAnd it pleases me beyond words,â she whispers, carrying a teasing lilt, âI wish to show you how much.â
Her words were a promise, and Aemond's pulse quickened. She had always admired his strength, his cunning, his ability to wield both sword and strategy. But now, as Prince Regent, she was more than willing to worship him in a way only she could.
âYou were made for this, Aemond,â she whispered, her lips now at his throat, kissing a trail of heat against his skin. He was warm, his scent curling around her pleasantly, feeling the familiar thrum of his pulse. âThe crown. The throne. And me.â
Gently, but with purpose, she guided him down to his seat once more with a firm hand on his chest. The air between them crackled with anticipation as she knelt before him, her fingers deftly working at the laces of his trousers. His breath hitched, his hands tangling in her hair as she sank to her knees before him. She looked up at him, eyes full of devotion and raw hunger.
"Let me honour you as my Prince. My King."
He felt the rush of power and pleasure mingling in his veins as he looked down at her, his queen in all but title. He felt the very ground fall beneath him as her velvety hand took his length into her palm and worked him to arousal. Aemond hissed through his teeth, jaw tense, even before her at this moment, he had no desire to fall completely to her mercy. At least not yet. There was something in her tone, a hint of playful challenge. He could feel it, the way she always liked to push him, even here, even now.
âYou speak of honour,â he murmured, his voice low, edged with warning and yet noticeably shaken by the way her small hands worked him to hardness. âAnd yet you toy with me.â
Her smile widened, her fingers brushing lightly over the tip, watching the way his brow twitched. âAnd what if I crave to see you undone?â
His grip in her hair tightened, and she gasped softly, though her teasing look didnât falter. His eye blazed down at her, the pleasure mixed with the irritation she stirred in him. "You are bold tonight. Perhaps too bold for your own good."
As if by way of confirming, Aemond watched her tongue slide between her lips, painting a soft, and entirely too gentle line from the base of him to the very tip. She did not miss the way his hands tightened around the arms of his seat, the tension in the muscles of his thighs.
Her lips quirked upward, a glint of mischief in her eyes. âBold enough to know that you do not wish for me to stop.â
Any smart reply Aemond had was quickly swallowed by the heat of her mouth on him. His breath left him in a sharp exhale, his head tilting back as she worked him with slow, deliberate care. With a slow, careful rhythm, her lips wrapped around him, tongue pressed to the underside of his length, feeling his pulse throb with arousal beneath it. The musky, pleasant scent of his wanting skin wrapping around her.
Her hand remained, stroking what she could not fit into her mouth. And even with his cock, hot and heavy on her tongue, her eyes briefly flicked up to meet his gaze as she dragged her lips along him, humming contently and sending white hot pleasure right up his spine.Â
âYou test me,â he finally rasped, his voice rough, though the authority in it wavered.
She pulled off him purposefully slowly with a soft pop, stroking her palm over his achingly hard length with a sense of both amusement and pride, just enough to murmur, her breath ghosting over his skin. âWhat is a King if he is not tested?â
His lips parted as if to scold her, but the words caught in his throat when she resumed, her mouth working him with a fiery intensity that sent a tremor through him. A low, almost involuntary groan escaped him, and she knew then that any protest he had was slipping from his grasp. The hard line of his jaw flexed as he fought to maintain some semblance of control, but his bodyâs response betrayed him, the tension in him giving way to desire. His breathing quickened, rough and uneven, and she smiled inwardly, knowing she had him exactly where she wanted him, her other hand seeking to cup his stones, her desire to send him hurtling over the edge outweighing any consequences.Â
âDamn you,â he growled, his voice thick with both frustration and pleasure, punishing her with his fingers tightening at the roots of her hair, pushing her mouth down onto him as far as she would go. Her whimper made his cock ache in her mouth, his hips jutting up to hit the back of her throat, his lips parting at the way she tried to suck in air around him.
For a moment, she yielded, letting him guide her, knowing how much it pleased him to feel like he had the upper hand. But she wasnât done yet. She wasnât one to be so easily subdued. With a quick, daring flick of her tongue, she made him shudder, a brief tremor running through his body, and she could feel it, the edge he was teetering on.
She pushed back against his hand, trying to slow her movements, taking her time, her lips working him expertly as she attempted to unravel him. His grip in her hair faltered, just slightly, and she smiled inwardly, sensing his undoing was near. His breaths had become ragged, uneven, and she knew if she just kept going, just a little longer, she could make him fall apart completely.
But Aemond wasnât so easily conquered.
With a rough, guttural sound, he yanked her back, pulling her mouth from him. Her lips were glossy, swollen, and bruised from her efforts, but she didnât miss the way his chest heaved, or the flash of raw need in his eye. He had been close. So close.
âEnough,â he rasped, his breath heavy but resolute, his hand still fisted in her hair. He forced her up, and before she could catch her breath, he spun her around, pushing her forward. Her hands braced against the cool surface of the Small Council table, the polished wood smooth under her palms as her body pressed against it.
She gasped softly, a thrill of excitement racing through her as his hand pushed down on the small of her back, bending her further over the table. His fingers slid along her waist, possessive, commanding, as he leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of her ear.Â
âYou forget yourself,â he growled, his hand moving down to bunch up the fabric of her skirts, hiking them up with a sharp, decisive tug.
She tried to glance back, her lips still tingling from where they had been on him, but his hand on her back kept her pinned in place. He leaned down, lips brushing the nape of her neck as he whispered against her skin. âAllow me to remind you, wife.â
The sharp, initial pain she felt was nothing. Nothing compared to the way Aemond felt her soft, silky walls yield to him. Pushing himself into her as far as he would go would rival the Seven Heavens, he would wager, her soft, delicate skin pressed to him, all bent over and willing to his needs in the Small Council Chambers of all places. And all she could do was choke out a quiet, almost swallowed moan as she felt him fill her, his thrusts immediately hard and unrelenting. A reminder perhaps, that no matter how much she tested him, that he would always crave control.Â
Each thrust was deliberate, claiming, his hips snapping against her with the raw force of a man who refused to be tested. The sound of their bodies meeting echoed through the otherwise silent chamber, in a place usually quiet with authority, there was a thrill knowing that their acts were debasing the very purpose of the room.
She whimpered as his hand tightened on the inside of her thigh, pushing the supple flesh aside as if to glimpse upon the way he drove forcefully into her. She struggled somewhat to keep her head from falling upon the varnished table, instead her breasts bloomed from the top of her dress, sensitive against the smooth furniture.Â
"Do you understand now?" Aemond growled lowly, his voice a dangerous rasp against the back of her neck, his fingers digging into her hips as he pulled her back onto him with each thrust.Â
She couldnât respond, at least not with words. Her body, trembling beneath him, spoke for her. Every sharp intake of breath, every involuntary shudder as he filled her, was an admission. But even in her submission, there was something in her that refused to completely yield. Her walls clenched around him, the warmth of her body trying to coax him deeper still.
And Aemond felt it, and his grip tightened, feeling her resist. âYou still think you can fight me, donât you?â
Without warning, he pulled her upright, his arm wrapping around her waist as he pressed her back against his chest, bringing her knee to rest against the table, her legs wide and eager for him to continue. The new angle sent a sharp jolt of pleasure through her, and she gasped, her legs trembling beneath her.
He thrust into her again, harder this time, and she couldnât hold back the moan that tore from her lips. Her hands reached back, grasping at his forearm, trying to ground herself in the overwhelming pleasure and pain that blurred together into one intoxicating sensation. Aemond chuckled darkly at her helplessness, his grip never loosening, his pace never faltering.
"Say it," he demanded, his voice thick with lust and command. His arm snaked up, between her breasts for his hand to hold her neck. "Say who you belong to."
Her breath hitched, her mind clouded by the rush of pleasure. "You," she managed to gasp, her voice barely a whisper.
He gave a harsh thrust, making her cry out this time. "Louder."
Her body buckled under him, her breath ragged as she finally choked out the words he wanted to hear. "I belong to you, Aemond."
The raw pleasure tore through her, and her entire body trembled, collapsing against him as she cried out his name. He groaned low in his throat, the sound primal as he released into her, his forehead resting against the curve of her shoulder as he let himself come undone.
Aemond's pulse thrummed against her skin, his breath warm as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. She remained still for a moment, her mind catching up to the rush of sensation. Her body hummed with the aftershock of what had just transpired, her skin flushed and damp. But secretly, she felt victorious.
He slowly pulled himself from her trembling walls, his touch lingering on her skin as he helped her stand, righting their clothes to decency once more and turning her in his arms so that they were face to face. His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb gently brushing over her bruised lips, swollen from the force of their passion. She could not help herself but smile at his insatiable nature. And hers as well.
âI am as much yours as you are mine,â Aemond uttered, his fingers threaded through her hair, smoothing it where he had earlier tugged so fiercely. His gaze lingered on her face, drinking in the sight of her, flushed and breathless.
âCome,â Aemond said softly, his voice attempting that familiar coolness, though his hand remained firm at the small of her back. âWeâve lingered long enough. Theyâll be wondering where their Prince Regent is.â
âIâm sure theyâd be scandalised to know how youâve spent your first moments as Regent.â
Aemondâs smirk mirrored hers as he adjusted his tunic, his eye gleaming with amusement. âLet them wonder,â he replied, his tone dripping with satisfaction. He bent down, kissing her temple with a possessive finality before pulling her toward the door. âTâwas merely a husband fulfilling his duty.â
...
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sensational
6.9k | joel miller & f!innocent!reader part two
this comes from this request. a few liberties were taken with the details (the reader knows that sex exists, but not much else), just fyi!
summary: thanks to becoming an orphan at age 13, you've lived the rest of your life oblivious to all the world can offer. now that you're in jackson, joel miller ignites something in you that only he can give answers to. warnings: slight angst (mentions of parent loss), innocent!fem!reader, age gap (joel is 56, reader is 25), kind of pervy!joel, smut (18+, mdni!!!), fingering, grinding, reader watches old pornos with joel, slight praise kink, no use of y/n. note: i planned originally to have this be just one part, but even though it ends in a way that i like, i could maybe be convinced to write a second part teehee (part two coming soon!)
You used to love the rain. The way it cascaded down your skin in little droplets, cleansing your body from a hard day's work, and the way it made your hair look so perfectly disheveled.
You craved the rain, until it became nothing but a reminder of the night your parents died.
It had been years at this point, but you would never quite forget how young, and small, and unsuspecting you'd been when they told you to run. How cruel, that time might pass, you might change, but with one smattering of rain, you returned so swiftly to the worst night of your life.
The three of you had been living alone, making your way...somewhere, but they never told you where. Your parents' only wish was to keep you safe, that much was clear. So it shouldn't have been a surprise that upon an ambush by at least ten clickers, after both your parents had been infected, that they'd insist that you run.
"Please, darling," your mother had pleaded, a lump in her throat as she formed the words. "Don't make me beg. I need you to run. Promise?"
Your father was somewhere else, but you could hear him yelling in the distance, in a fight for his life. You were too young, even at thirteen, to understand that those were the sounds of a dying man.
"I'll be right behind you," she'd choked on the last phrase, and in hindsight, you knew she was lying. But in the moment, you'd believed her. You couldn't see the bite she was hiding on her arm, her fate already sealed. "I'll come for you, my love," she insisted, "but I need you to go. Head for the woods."
It was the last time you saw her. You'd turned tail and had run as fast as you could for the woods.
The last thing you heard was a gunshot. A single shot, echoing around you in the trees. It may have been impossible to know, but you didn't need to turn back. Your parents were dead.
If you hadn't found Jackson, who knows how long you might have lasted. Nearing your twenty-first year, you'd proven valuable to the community, and they'd welcomed you in. Jackson was the first home you'd had since you were five.
It hadn't occurred to you that you were years behind your peers in terms of...well, everything, until you met Joel.
Rugged, tan, and sporting a perpetual frown paired with an ever-present crease between his brows, Joel Miller was your patrol partner. You weren't exactly sure why, and he didn't seem particularly pleased about it, but then againâhe never seemed particularly pleased about anything.
It hadn't struck you as anything to be proud of, or to boast about to the other young women in Jackson, but they certainly loved coming up to you and expressing their jealousy when they felt so inclined.
"What's he like on patrol?" they'd ask, their eyes wide and lips curled in smirks as they waited for any insight you could give them on his mysterious personality.
All you could ever say over the next four years was a quick, "He's quiet."
Maybe that was why the two of you worked well. He wasn't much of a talker, and after you'd lost your parents, you hadn't been one to waste any breath on conversation, especially when you had survived alone with your own thoughts for almost eight years.
Silence was your mutual understanding. No talking meant no questions, and no questions meant no problems.
And this worked. Until it didn't.
-- -- --
It started like anything started. Quietly, hardly a bother, until it sank into the marrow of your bones and demanded that you address it.
More literally, it started in your shoulders. You'd been on patrol with Joel, a quiet, "Let's go," his only words to you that morning. They were his only words to you every morning, and that day was no different.
Patrolling with him was easy. Like you'd saidâno talking, so no problems. You rode next to each other on your respective horses, and there was nothing more than a glance or two toward each other when necessary. It was the only form of communication that the two of you shared.
His big brown eyes had always startled you, looking so inviting in the contrast of the white snow during the winter, but they never showed you more than he allowed you to see. And all you saw of Joel was his dedication to sleep, patrol, eat, and repeat.
You hadn't felt the desire to look that closely at him until some of the girls in Jackson asked you how big his hands were, or what he looked like up close.
"You know," one of them had crooned, not realizing you were unsure of their intentions, "what does he look like without that big old coat on?"
You'd shrugged. "Why should I know?"
Another one wiggled her eyebrows. "Doesn't it get...lonely out there? Nothing but you, the snow, and a big man like Joel to keep you company?"
The faces of those girls, the glint in their eyes, it was something you couldn't quite decipher, as much as you wished you could. So one day, you'd asked the man himself what it all meant.
When you said it for the first time, it was so quiet that you could hardly even hear yourself.
Joel grunted, the only indication that he'd heard you.
Your cheeks burned, but you couldn't find a reason why. This was just Joel. He seemed to know everything there was to know about life; surely he could help you understand this. "Why do the girls in town keep asking me what it's like to patrol with you?"
He didn't answer for a second, but then shrugged. "They botherin' you?"
"No." You weren't quite sure that was true, and knowing him, he could probably hear the lie in your voice. "They're just kind of...belligerent."
His eyebrow cocked. "S'a big word," he mused. "Sure you know what it means?"
Your cheeks grew hot. "Yes," you insisted sharply. "I do read, you know."
He murmured a response, but the wind carried it away from you. You rode in silence for a bit longer before he said, "Don't let those girls get in your head. I think they just wanna get a rise outta you."
"A rise?"
Joel nodded and brought his horse to a routine stop. This was where the two of you always stretched your legs. He reached up to help you down your own mount and set you on the ground gingerly. "You know," he said, as if you should know, but with no regard for the fact that you didn't. "You're still kinda new here. Seems they're still pretty dead-set on embarrassin' you."
"I'm not embarrassed," you insisted again. "I just...is there a joke I'm not getting?"
"Any reason you chose to talk so much today?" was his only answer, which made your stomach clench.
There was no reason for you to be offended, as it was your typical routine to remain quiet unless absolutely necessary, but you couldn't help the way your lips curved downward. "Sorry," you mumbled, "forget I asked."
He was quiet again as the two of you walked at least two hundred paces, stretching out your sore muscles in the snow. It used to be comforting, the silence. It wasn't maddening, it didn't ever bother you if Joel was in his thoughts. You weren't even sure at times if he had any. But all that had changed now; his brow creased more than it usually did, and you wanted nothing more than to ask him what he was thinking.
Joel was the one constant in your life now. Maybe it was aâwell, probably it was a trauma response from losing your parents, but you couldn't help it. You didn't need much from anyone, just someone to stay. Joel was strong enough to take care of himself and was smart enough not to make any rash decisions. As far as you could tell, he'd stay.
So how could you be so embarrassed by asking these questions?
"I forgot how long you said you were...alone out there," his grunting voice filled the space between you once more. It was quiet, and he sounded hesitant, as if he wasn't sure how to speak.
"Since I was thirteen," you said mechanically, so familiar with others in Jackson asking the same question.
"Shit," he cursed under his breath. "And you're how old?"
"Twenty-five," you said, feeling oddly small in his presence.
He shook his head. "That's a long time to be alone," he muttered, blowing out a breath.
You huffed. "Yeah, well, I survived. And besides, I've been here for four years now, you know."
"I know."
Again, the silence. Infuriating.
Then, you couldn't help it. "What's...'spooning,' and why do those girls ask me if we've done it?"
Joel stumbled, reaching out for balance. His hand found purchase on your shoulder, and you caught him awkwardly. "You don't even know what spooning is?" He sounded incredulous, as if you'd asked a juvenile question.
The warmth from his hand was astonishing, and distracted you from your embarrassment, if only for a moment. It sank through his glove into your coat, and down toward your skin. Something about the weight of his hand on your shoulder, even for a second as he removed it quickly, was enough to send you spiraling.
Your face burned. "Never mind," you said quietly and mounted your horse again. How stupid could you get? You scolded yourself. You'd ventured too far into this conversation, and now you didn't know how to get yourself out of it. "I was just...never mind. We should get back."
He nodded, but his face still looked somewhat pinched. "Yeah. S'getting dark."
The sun was still up. No intention of sinking beneath the horizon for at least a few hours. You rode again in uncomfortable silence, this time letting it fill the space. You foolishly thought that maybe if you were quiet long enough, he'd forget that you'd made a fool of yourself, that you'd exposed yourself to the truth: that you knew hardly anything about...anything except for survival instincts.
When Joel spoke again, it surprised you. "I didn't mean to tease ya," he said. "It's just kind of a surprise that you're not...that you don't..." he looked over at you, and there was some type of pleading in his eyes, as if he were begging you not to make him say it.
"That I don't what?" you said dumbly, hoping you didn't sound as childish as you felt.
He pondered his next words carefully, and then he hummed, "If you want, I could...teach you some stuff."
"Like spooning?" You felt a warmth in your face as you watched his shoulders hunch with a soft laughter. Your own shoulder burned where he'd touched it, and something bloomed in your gut.
He chuckled. "I don't know about all that," he said, "but I'll help you get...back on track. Would hate for someone to take advantage of your...innocence." It sounded sinful, the way he said it, and the something in your gut pulsed.
"You don't have to," you shook your head, but you didn't even believe the words as they came out of your mouth. "I'll just ask someone else."
"Darlin', don't trust anyone else to give you straight answers. I'm older'n half of everyone in Jackson, anyway." He flashed you a look. "I'll help. Whatever you want to know."
You bit the insides of your cheeks, your stomach turning strangely. "Anything?"
He nodded dutifully, but his eyes had already left yours. Joel Miller, ever the professional. "Whatever you want."
-- -- --
Joel liked to consider himself someone who would never again suffer the shock of surprises. After having lived through and seen more shit than any normal person could, he thought he'd experienced it all.
That is, until her pretty lips had opened and asked him to teach her about all she'd missed. Until she asked him to teach her.
He hadn't really seen her as the picture of innocence until he'd heard how long she'd been alone, surviving with no one and nothing besides her own thoughts and the clothes on her back.
The least her parents could do was teach her how to shoot, he'd thought when he first met her. It was a curiosity that was quickly resolved, as she'd proven herself valuable to Jackson.
Tommy had wasted no time putting them on patrol together. "It'll be good for you," his brother had reasoned when he brought up concerns. "You know, to talk to someone out there. I know she's on the young side, but you don't gotta fall in love with her." He'd flashed an apologetic smile when Joel had scowled. "You're scarin' everyone, Joel. Bein' all quiet and shit...it'sâ"
"It's what?" he'd asked gruffly. "I don't do it on purpose. I'm a grown man."
This was all true, and he very much didn't do it on purpose. With no one around whom he deemed worthy of his conversation, Joel Miller had become the quiet, introspective version of himself that everyone decided to become scared of all of a sudden.
The way he saw things? It wasn't his fault everyone in Jackson was boring. Or childish.
But her. With her unmistakable will to survive and those eyes that could burn fierce with ire one moment, and soften with curiosity the next...it was only a matter of time before he agreed to do whatever she asked.
He should have seen it coming, especially considering her past. Every time he thought of just how...unsuspecting she was about...everything, he had to shake his head, clearing it of any thoughts that threatened to take advantage of her.
But being ignorant of spooning. He had to clear his throat every time he thought of what that might mean for himself in this particular arrangement. If she knew nothing of something so...palatable, he could hardly help himself when thinking of what else she might be unaware of.
He tried to be patient, and he tried to be respectful, but at the end of the day, he was Joel Miller. From the moment she looked at him with those wide eyes, he was lost.
-- -- --
"What I would give to give that man the ride of his life," one of the girls next to you hummed at breakfast the next morning, her eyes presumably glued to Joel, who'd just come into the cafeteria. You didn't look up at him, instead casting a confused glance toward the girl who'd spoken.
"Ride where?" You cursed your quick instinct to ask questions, as the girls erupted into a fit of giggles. Face burning, you looked down again at your plate. "Never mind," came your almost instantaneous response. You were getting used to having to apologize for your ignorance, and people rarelyâespecially not these girlsâoffered their kindness.
One of the other girls snickered. "Why don't you ask him? I'm sure there's nothing much to talk about out there anyway," she said, smiling widely. Her next words were nothing short of a drawl, the complete essence of mockery. "'Joel, what's it mean to ride?'" she pinched her face in what you assumed was an impression of you, and it only made your eyebrows furrow despite your stomach sinking in utter horror.
And then there he was. He'd called your name, and now he was standing behind your left shoulder, hand outstretched to save you.
You were sure his hand had never looked quite as appealing as it did now. The calluses on his palm were raised and visibly rough. For a moment, you stared at his fingers and wondered what they might feel like against your cheek.
Swallowing a lump in your throat, that something arose in your gut once more before you heard him murmur your name again.
"Come on," he grunted, but there was a gentleness to it that made the hair on the nape of your neck stand on end. "Time to go."
The girls at your table were silent when you took his hand gingerly and let him lead you from the cafeteria. You noted the swift wave of cold that hit your hand as soon as he dropped it, just a second later. Clasping your hands together, you hoped in a fit of desperation that you might preserve some of the weight and warmth of his touch on your skin. It failed.
"Thanks," you said later, when the two of you were outside the community's borders. Jackson felt a bit too stuffy for any real admissions of gratitude, you'd decided. It turned out to be a good conclusion when you felt the delicious churn of your stomach at the idea of being alone with him once more.
I'm sure there's nothing much to talk about out there anyway, one of the girls had said. Doesn't it get lonely out there? You were reminded of another's teasing, and this time your cheeks burned at the memory. Nothing but you, the snow, and a big man like Joel to keep you company.
He was big, you considered. When he stood next to you, his frame was almost larger than life, and his shoulders were sinfully broad when you watched him walk in front of you on previous patrols. The sheer size of him was enough to send you into a heady descent.
As usual, Joel didn't answer for what felt like ages, and you'd begun to wonder if he could see where your train of thought had led you. Then:
"You could have told me they were bein' that outrageous," he grunted, keeping his eyes forward. "I woulda helped you out sooner. S'no fun feelin' left outta everything."
It was...odd to hear such words come from a man like Joel. Although, you reminded yourself, you'd hardly spoken to him in the four years that you'd been in Jackson; who was to say he wasn't normally like this? A quiet, brooding older man, yes; but maybe he was naturally like this. One to offer his help.
"If you wanted to help, you would have made an effort four years ago." You let your words hang in the air. You didn't mean for them to come off sharp; it was simply the truth. "I don't need your help," you added, tightening your hands on the reins of your horse and swallowing roughly. "It was fine. I am fine."
He flashed you a look as if to say, is that so? You couldn't help but notice the way the corners of his eyes creased, the only sign of amusement. It was all you could do to keep your eyes on him, although you weren't sure how you were going to explain the way your mouth went dry at the sight of his big brown eyes.
"Besides," you insisted quietly, "you're not my dad."
Joel cleared his throat. Looked down, shoulders tense. Inhaled. "No," he said decidedly. "No, I'm not."
Emboldened by this clarification, you inquired, "So what did those girls mean earlier? Riding, I mean?"
If you could have guaranteed the image of Joel's eyes going wide in surprise to remain in your head for the rest of your days, you would have done it instantly. His forehead was creased as his eyebrows lifted, and despite his position facing away from you, you could see it all.
The way he seemed to wrestle with himself before answering, the way his hands seemed to clench in his gloves. "So, uh..." he started, and then paused again. Mustering up whatever courage he needed, Joel finished, "Well, ya see, when a man and woman love each other very muchâ"
"Joel." Oh. You couldn't help it when a breathless chuckle left your lips.
He was silent, and when he finally answered, it wasn't a question. "What."
"I'm not fucking stupid. I know how reproduction works."
Joel's chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, and you couldn't ignore the look of complete relief that washed over his rough features. "Thank fuckin' Christ. Didn't know if I had it in me for another sex talk. I'm too old to be doin' this."
"Believe it or not, my parents did leave me with the basic information." Swallowing roughly, you continued. "And I know...I know that men usually...take. It's an assertion of power, from what I've...seen."
He shook his head. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised that you've run into your fair share of dirtbags, even in the middle of the world goin' to shit." He ran a gloved hand through his hair, and you secretly enjoyed the way it stood up. "Anyone ever, you know...take...from you?"
Hearing your own words regurgitated back to you left you feeling fluttery. Shaking your head, you got down from your horse; you'd reached your typical resting spot. "No," you said firmly. "They never wanted me."
Joel nodded. "S'good," he said, and it bothered you to no end that you couldn't understand the emotion in his voice. "So..."
By now he was standing next to you, closer than you were used to, judging by the way his coat sleeve bumped yours as the two of you walked, stretching your legs. "So," you said, thinking up a way to make this conversation less awkward. "I just hate feeling like a kid again. I'm twenty-five, for fuck's sake. There's more than just survival when it comes to living. I just want to know what I'm missing out on," you confessed with a hand on your stomach.
When Joel brushed by your side again your stomach flipped. And what the fuck is that about, and why do I keep feeling it? You asked inwardly, but you were too nervous to ask. Bombarding Joel with questions, especially after you'd just started talking to him on patrol after four years, seeming to be the wrong path to take.
He shrugged, eyebrows still furrowed in thought. "There's nothing to miss if you don't know what you're missin'."
"Yes," you admitted, "but that doesn't stop any of those girls from making me feel like I'm..."
"Innocent?" he murmured, and you thought you weren't meant to hear it until he turned to look at you.
Those big brown eyes, they just won't quit, a voice nudged you in your head.
"I don't want to be innocent," you groaned, throwing your head back. "God, not in the sense that they see me in. Sounds like a damn curse."
The sound of his rumbling laughter, however quiet, sent a shock down your spine and you nearly tripped in the snow. "There's pros and cons, I s'pose," he offered. "It's like I said: I'll help you get back on track. If that's what you really want."
"It is." You stopped walking, took a look around at the landscape, otherwise empty with the scattering of trees. You swallowed, pressed one. "So...riding. It's a part of reproducing, then?"
He chuckled again, but this time it didn't come off as demeaning. It was like he was teasing you, but good-naturedly. "Let's not jump too far ahead of ourselves, yeah? Start with somethin' smaller. Then we'll work our way up."
Joel's eyes were piercing when he held yours in his gaze. If someone watched this conversation, you were sure they'd be able to see the blush blooming on your cheeks.
"Learnin' takes time, ya know," he mused, his growling voice nearly a hum that could have warmed you from the inside out.
You'd made it to the edge of the woods now. This was normally where you turned back, heading for home. But neither of you moved. The bubble of something pulsed again, and you swallowed roughly before whispering hoarsely, "So where should we start?"
-- -- --
If Joel were a better man, he might have warned her what the curse of innocence in a young woman could be. He might have shook his head, stepped back, and told her to ask someone else. He might have taken the reins and turned the two of them back toward Jackson.
If he were better, he wouldn't have stepped closer to her. If he were a better man, he wouldn't have looked into her sparkling eyes and let the question slip. Fuck it all.
"You ever been kissed, darlin'?"
-- -- --
You swallowed. Don't make a fool of yourself, you begged yourself before answering with a quiet shake of your head. "Not many contenders out there. Not any good ones, anyway."
He'd leaned closer to you with his question, and now you could practically see each line of age in his face. Joel's expression was unclear; he could have been pleased with this information or...or maybe there was pity in his eyes. "No," he said with an understanding nod. "No, I suppose there wouldn't have been."
He lifted a gloved hand to his mouth and you watched as he traced it along his lips. The gray strands in his hair glinted off the sunlight, blinking pleasantly in your eyes. That something pulsed once more in your stomach, and there was a sort of realization that came with it.
Joel, you thought. Joel is making me feel like this.
"Will you kiss me?" The words were out of your mouth before you could reel them in.
But instead of laughing, or scoffing, or giving any sign of mockery, Joel Miller inhaled quietly. "You know how much older I am than you?" he asked.
You nodded. "We're both adults, Joel. Besides," you felt a ghost of a smirk come to grace your lips, a feigned confidence coming to save you in this moment of truth. "I thought you told me to ask you these questions."
He sighed. "You're right."
"So? Will you?" you asked, with a small, "please?" coming out afterward.
He moved slowly, something you were equally thankful for as you were frustrated with, but his forehead met yours soon enough. His eyelashes brushed against your cheek, and he let out a shaky breath, letting it fan deliciously across your face. The knowledge that he was just as nervous as you were was not only a comfort; it was perhaps the most attractive thing you'd ever known.
And when you lifted your chin, just a hairsbreadth from his lips, your eyes fluttered closed, waiting for him to meet you in the middle. It only took a moment before he was closing his mouth over yours, and Joel Miller was kissing you.
He was gentle, of course, but there was something restrained about his kiss, the way he slowly slotted his lips over yours as if you might crack under any more pressure. It only made you want more, more, more...
You pressed your hands to his chest and curled them into fists, tugging his jacket to lessen the distance between your bodies even more. You didn't know how you were doing this, how you'd managed to find confidence in what could have easily been a humiliating experience. Your first kiss at twenty-five? With anyone else, it might have been a nightmare.
With Joel, it was turning out to be the most delightful dream.
"So soft, baby," he pulled back to whisper against your mouth. "These lips are so soft for me."
You hummed your response and pulled him back to you, letting him see that you wanted more. That incessant pressure was building, and it wasn't until he had his arms sliding around your waist that you forced yourself to pull back, head spinning. "Joel."
He blinked. "What? Too fast?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, darlin', you're just soâ"
"No, that's not it." You managed a weak smile, but the look in his eye, the question and the undeniable desireâis that what it looks like?âquivering in his brown irises, nearly made you collapse. He waited for you to continue, his hands never leaving you, a courtesy you were grateful for. "I feel...hot." Your cheeks warmed. "Um, there's this...pressure."
His lips closed in a tight smirk, and he squeezed your hips. "Where, baby?" he murmured, and you could have sworn you saw stars outlining his head at the sound of the pet name. "Show me," he cooed.
"Um." You paused, unsure of just how. But with his hands on your waist, his heavy, warm touch melting you on the spot, you took one of his gloved hands in yours and guided him to your stomach. "Here. Kind of."
"Yeah?" he said, and you forgot about the cold. About your horses waiting to be mounted, about your other responsibilities in Jackson. All you could see were his dark eyes that had somehow grown darker as you pushed his hand down, down, down...
"Fuck, babygirl," he cursed, and let his hand rest on the crux of your thighs, just barely pressing on the source of the tingling sensation. If anything, it made it worse, and you let a breathy whine fall from your lips. "You're gonna be the death of me, huh?" he groaned.
You couldn't form words. Just one kiss (a very good kiss, mind you) and a heavy hand on your core was all it took, apparently. You could hardly look anywhere but his face, your mouth dropping open as your hips moved of their own accord, grinding into his hand before you realized you were doing it. "Joelâ" you whimpered, and he pulled his hand away.
There wasn't enough time for you to feel jilted, as he tugged you back to your horse and practically launched you onto it himself. "We're goin' back," he said firmly, "now."
Swallowing, your throat dry and rough, you pressed a hand to your cheek, feeling the heat swimming under your skin. "Did I do something wrong?"
You could hardly see him shake his head as he mounted his own horse, looking back at you to make sure you were following him. "'Course not," he called over his shoulder. When you caught up with him, the two of you shoulder-to-shoulder, he continued. "Look, darlin', f'I'm gonna be givin' you your first kiss and makin' you feel that good..." he sighed, his dark eyes finding yours. "I'm not doin' it in a fuckin' snowbank."
-- -- --
The entire ride back to Jackson was painfully long, silent but for Joel's mumbled directions, despite the fact that the two of you had taken this same route countless times in the four years that you patrolled together.
Your eyes were trained forward, and you knew his were as well, but it took everything in you not to glance at him even for a second. If you did, you were afraid that the pressure building in the crux of your thighs would never go away.
It would be unfair to say that you were completely unaware of what might happen when you got back to Jackson, but you still didn't know much, which left a nervous bubble rising in your gut. It wasn't like there were any books left in Jackson that you could read about it, or any movies that Maria would allow to remain in the community's borders.
Again, you got a wave of feeling like this should have concerned you, or at least made you a little anxious. But with Joel pulling ahead, his strong back the only thing you could look at, you felt the knot of tension release in your stomach. This was Joel. After four yearsâeven four mostly silent yearsâof working together, you felt like you...knew him, somehow. That he couldn't possibly lead you astray.
Sure enough, when you were both within the borders, horses returned safely to their stables, the tension returned. Or had it ever really dissipated?
Joel hovered close to you as you left the stables. "Let's go, darlin'," he breathed, a gloved hand on your lower back as he guided you.
"Where?" you said, and you hoped it didn't sound as desperate as it did to you, the pressure getting worse. "I needâ"
"I know, baby, I know," he cooed gently, his head on a swivel as if looking for anyone who might stop you. "We're goin' to mine. I've got the perfect lesson planned for ya, alright?"
It was all you could do to nod and let him push you forward through the snowy streets. If only those girls could see you now.
Once inside, you took a breath. There was no one around, and once the door closed behind you, the silence felt all the more heavy. "Ellie?" you asked, if only in courtesy.
He shook his head, and you bit your lip when you saw him smirk. "Just us, doll."
Joel shed his outer layers, and when he stood in front of you, you realized that this was the first time you'd seen him without his coat. Without his gloves, aside from that morning.
Your eyes snagged on his fingers, and you swallowed roughly when you saw the way they twitched, as if in anticipation for something. Or maybe he was holding himself back, you considered. His jaw did seem to have an impatient clench to it. Hands rough like you knew they would be, it didn't take long for your mind to wander into thinking of what it might be like to feel those hands on your skin.
With any luck, he'd give you the sweet release you craved, however it would unfold.
"See anything you like?" he teased, and your cheeks warmed.
"Sorry," you fumbled for a response, your eyes dropping. You'd meant to clear your head, but then your eyes were caught on his thighs. Specifically how hard the seams on his jeans were fighting to remain unripped. "Um, a lesson, you said?"
He nodded, reaching out a hand to take your own coat off, leaving you in the sweater and pants you'd had on all day. You were sure your hair was knotted and would be for days, but he only smoothed a hand down your face, letting you lean into his touch. His fingers were still cold, but your face was hot and it offered a dizzying sense of relief.
"I could never teach you all this," he murmured, his thumb rubbing back and forth in an absentminded swipe across your cheek. "Not without getting...distracted," he finished, pressing his other hand to your waist. Underneath the thick layer of your coat, his hand felt like a hot iron scorching your skin, despite there still being a few layers of clothes between your bodies.
"Distraction is okay," you breathed, lifting a hand to cup his on your waist. "Right?"
He shook his head, a chuckle lifting from deep in his chest. "Not tonight," he whispered. "Tonight, I want to stick to the plan."
"Which is?"
Wordlessly, he removed the hand on your waist and entwined it with your own, tugging you toward the living room where an old television had been placed on a rickety-looking shelf. "Sit," he directed, and you did so without hesitation. He paused, biting back a smile at your eager cooperation, and adjusted himself.
It occurred to you that as much as you were affected by him, he was experiencing a similar effect from you. His pants, already tighter than sin, seemed to have become even tighter, as a bulge began to grow while he stood just a few feet from your face.
"Joelâ"
"No, no," he waved a dismissive hand and went to the television to grab something. He came back with something you recognized: a VHS tape. "Don't worry 'bout me, sweets. Tonight's just for you."
"We're gonna watch a movie?" you asked, trying to ignore the way your heart sank a little. You had been hoping that the two of you would kiss some more, and maybe even...you didn't even know the name for it.
"Not just any movie," he grinned, putting it in to watch. The video started. "A special one."
When the scene opened on a man and a woman in the throes of passion, you gasped. "No way," you whispered. "I thought Mariaâ"
He shrugged, sinking down on the couch beside you, his knee bumping yours. "She must've missed this one," was all he said.
The woman looked to be enjoying herself, as her scene partner kissed her neck, dragging his tongue from the dip in her clavicle to the curve of skin where her neck met her ear. A cartoon-ish moan left her lips, but you didn't pay it any mind. The sight of it made your thighs clench together subconsciously, the lick of pressure rising again in your center.
"Joelâ"
"Shh," he said gently. "C'mere, darlin'." With no more than a heavy hand on your waist, he tugged you closer to him, situating you over his lap. "Comfortable?"
You almost said no; you knew that this wouldn't be an acceptable seating arrangement in the cafeteria (or anywhere public, for that matter), but when his hands landed on your thighs, you nodded swiftly. His fingers curled around your skin, and you could feel every pulse of his heartbeat through his fingertips, poised as if he might spread your legs from where they were squeezed together between his own thighs.
Something hard and solid nudged at your core, and you couldn't help it when you leaned back into his chest, head tilting back to rest on his shoulder. A breathy moan tumbled from your lips, and your stomach fluttered when you felt his chest rumble with a chuckle.
"That quick, baby?" he whispered, his breath fanning over your neck. "You really are a sweet young thing, aren't ya," he teased, pressing his nose to the joint between your jaw and your neck, "fallin' apart for me already?" He rocked his hips forward, his bulge pressing harder against you, and it nearly sent you into a spiral.
You swallowed, your throat dry. The sounds of the movie seemed far away as you opened your eyes and looked at his beard, peppered with gray and scratching at your chin when he leaned over you. "Joel," you whispered, bringing your hands to cover his own on your thighs, "I-I want to know everything." You'd never meant anything more fervently, more desperately, than this.
If you'd known how addicting this could feel, being so close to him, feeling his hands on you, perhaps you would have been embarrassed at the way your hips began rubbing yourself on his lap, hoping forâyou didn't even know what could be after this. You just knew that the way you felt was the most intense thing you'd felt in your entire life, and you wanted to keep feeling this way, as long as you could.
Joel tutted, squeezing his hands on your thighs. "Oh, look at you," he groaned, a deep, carnal noise that made your chest constrict, "you're a natural, doll." His lips brushed your shoulder, and he darted his tongue out to lick a small strip up your neck.
Your heart swelled with the praise, and it was all you could do not to squeeze your eyes shut. "Please," you begged quietly, as if someone might hear you.
"I know, baby, I know," he crooned, dark eyes locked onto your own as his hand crept closerâto your waistbandâcloserâunzipping your pantsâcloser...there.
Your hips lifted from his lap with the heady sensation of his fingers pressed to a bundle of nerves between your legs. "Joelâ!" you squeaked.
You felt him smile against your cheek. "So wet," he murmured, "so slick for my fingers, baby." He began rubbing that spot in tight circles, a slow, torturous pace. "Let me know when you're gonna come, yeah?"
"When I..." you trailed off. You'd never...how would you know? "I don't..."
Joel hummed in your ear, rocking his hips again and releasing a guttural groan. "S'okay, pretty girl," he reassured you, "I'll be gentle. Lemme know when it feels like it's too much. "I've gotcha."
You were too far gone to doubt him. This was Joel. He wouldn't let you fall, as much as you felt like you were going to slide to the floor at the feeling of his hand coming up from your leg to caress your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingertips. A strangled mix between a cry and a moan left your lips, and with one more kiss to your brow paired with a quick swipe of his finger over your ever-sensitive budâ
Something gave way and you jerked your head back, digging into his shoulder. Your legs spasmed and you squeezed your hand over Joel's, holding his hand in place underneath your panties.
"Fuck, doll, just like that," he encouraged you. "Look at you, eyes rollin' back for me. Shakin' like a good girl." His hips tensed beneath you and you felt his chest shudder as he released a punishing moan. "Got me feelin' like a damn teenager, comin' in my jeans."
His fingers stilled, but his hand didn't move. Your legs slowly stopped shaking, and the solid mass beneath you was softening. You let out a sigh, your eyelids fluttering closed. Your cheeks were flushed, you could tell; but this time, it wasn't embarrassment that brought the warmth to your face.
"You okay?" he murmured, carefully removing his hands from their places on you. "Feel alright, darlin'?"
Your head turned, nestling into the crook of his neck. Nodding quietly, you shifted in his lap. "I...I didn't know it could be like that," you shivered.
Joel paused the video, the living room falling quiet around you. Swinging a hand under your legs and tugging you to a more comfortable position over his lap, he raised his fingers to his lips, glistening with the remnants of your desire. Your jaw slackened when you watched him open his mouth, lapping at the tips of his fingers.
"Trust me, doll," he said with a glint in his eye. You whimpered in anticipation as he reached to brush a strand of hair from your face. "I've got so much more to teach you."
tysm for reading! you made it to the end! part two is in the works posted!
#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#pervy!joel#innocent!f!reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller#joel miller tlou#tlou smut#tlou fic#tlou joel fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fic#the last of us#the last of us fanfic#the last of us smut#jackson!joel miller#joel miller x innocent!f!reader#fem!reader#joel x fem!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n
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Caterpillar (Prequel to âButterflyâ)
| Prequel | Part 1 | Part 2 |
Summary: Before you were Aegonâs cherished little butterfly, you were nothing more than an insect he wished to crush under his shoes. Over the years his feelings grew from hatred, to indifference, to friendship and to the beginning of a young love that was doomed from the very moment he first laid his eyes on you. This is the story of how the young prince and the princess slowly began to fall for each other.âšPairing: Young!Aegon II Targaryen x Strong!Niece!Reader âšWord count: 5936 wordsâšWarnings: incest, Reader is described of having Strong features, Reader is Aegonâs niece and Rhaenyraâs second child, enemies to friends to lovers, young love, brief mention of abuse from Otto and Alicent, fluff, longing, hurt/comfort, bittersweet ending, no mention of Y/N âšNotes: I AM BACK! For the lovely anon who requested a prequel to âButterflyâ. This is my first requested fic and I had much fun writing it. Enjoy đ
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Aegon, second of his name and a proud boy of almost four years, stared with an expression of disgust and disinterest at the small newborn babe in his half-sister's arms, who was still lying exhausted in bed, sweat dripping down her forehead and neck, while you screamed so loud as if there was no tomorrow.
Next to him stood his father the king, staring down at his firstborn daughter with an expression of pride - an expression he had never seen in his eyes whenever he looked at him. His own mother was not here with them and he wondered why. Where was she? Did she not want to meet you?
"Would you like to hold her?" Rhaenyra asked the king exhaustedly, holding out her newborn to him. It was a little girl who was actually only due in a few weeks, but you had apparently decided to come earlier than, for example, your brother or Aegon with his own mother, which is why you were smaller and more delicate. At least that's how the midwives explained your delicacy.
"I would feel honored," said King Viserys the Peaceful with a little laugh and took you in his arms while he gently rocked you back and forth.
Aegon had actually just wanted to play, but he had been sitting in the library with his Septa earlier, who chatted far too much and whom he could hardly listen to properly, which is why it was just right when a guard asked him if he wanted to meet his niece, who had just left the womb at that time. Of course he had ran off immediately, but you were somehow... ugly. Your loud crying and screaming hurt his ears and he had to hold back from making a face.
Suddenly his father leaned down a little so that he could get a better look at you, whereupon his half-sister sat up a little in bed as if she didn't trust him, even though he was only a little boy and didn't know what kind of burden he would one day carry on his shoulders. The king's firstborn son, but he was not the heir to the Iron Throne. He was a prince who inherited nothing. A life without meaning. Of course, he didn't realize that at the time.
"Look... it's your little niece."
Rhaenyra whispered your name once and the young prince nodded and tried to remember it. Another face had seen the light of day and another sound of happy laughter would soon echo through the cold corridors of the Red Keep.
Of all his half-sister's children, you were by far the one he disliked the most. Aegon came to this realization when he was almost ten years old, when, out of boredom, he asked you instead of your older brother Jace if you would like to play with him, but after you tripped and accidentally fell you immediately started crying as if you had been impaled with a lance, and his mother later gave him a slap in the face behind closed doors that he could still feel on his pale cheek days later.
You had simply fallen over the ends of your dress when you were playing a game in which he had to catch you, but hitting your forehead on the hard stone floor of the Red Keep was definitely too much for a delicate thing like you to bear.
But while you, at the age of six, had already stood up for him and assured your mother several times that he had not pushed you on purpose, Queen Alicent forbade her eldest son to play with Rhaenyra's only daughter again, not because she really cared about your wellbeing, but because in her eyes you were nothing more than a bastard who did not deserve to be called a princess.
Instead, the silver-haired prince had taken to annoying his younger brother Aemond and called for the help of his brown-haired nephews, always excluding you and Helaena.
To the world you seemed like a happy girl, always friendly and always carrying a smile on your face, but you too secretly felt lonely. You never really understood Helaena and you were very afraid of everything that crawled and had more legs than four, which is why you avoided the other girl rather than spending the day with her. Aemond was the same age as you and you liked reading books with him in the library, to be engrossed in thick history books with him and your nose being buried deep in a fairy tale, but at least you could talk to the younger Targaryen prince and share some nice moments.
At least until Aegon and your brothers started making fun of you, which had quickly made your only friend leave your side, as he had already heard enough jokes about how he hardly spoke a word or especially about how he did not have a dragon.
Neither did you, but that didn't seem to interest either of them, except maybe sometimes Jace and Luke, who at the end of the day from time to time apologized for their statements and also for Aegon's taunts. The prince, however, never apologized.
The hatred that you believed your uncle had for you was about to change on a cool summer evening on the day of your eighth birthday.
Dressed in a yellow gown that reminded you of the petals of a sunflower and with your brown hair intricately braided, you sat alone in the garden of the castle, leaning against the Weirwood tree that had probably been growing here for centuries. On your lap lay a new book about fables and songs from the distant lands of Essos, which your "father" Laenor had given you.
You were not stupid. Of course you were aware of the fact that Laenor could not be your father, since you looked too different, but your mother had forbidden you to bring up the subject. She hadn't even answered your question about who your real father was and what the deal was with her and Ser Harwin.
Completely lost in thought, you hadn't realized how a person had slowly and quietly approached you from the side, until he suddenly grabbed you by the shoulders and made you scream loudly.
"Aegon!" you shouted angrily, while the boy just held his stomach in laughter, a full cup of wine in his left hand. When had he started taking his drinks with him?
"Oh, come on! It was just a harmless jest, niece," he answered you, giggling, while he collapsed onto the grass a little further in front of you, which was still glistening with dew, the action not looking particularly graceful. He seemed slightly drunk, which made you wonder why no one took the cup away from him if you had noticed it yourself. Why didn't his mother, the Queen, pay attention? Or his grandfather, the Lord Hand?
"Jest or not, you scared me," you grumbled, folding your arms in front of your chest, while a pout formed on your face that even he couldn't miss.
"Hey, don't pout. Today is your name day, remember?"
"Yes. And you have not thought of giving me a gift, Uncle," you noted in a slightly disappointed tone, while your dark eyes searched his.
"Yes, I did," Aegon countered and threw something at you that you were only able to catch so quickly thanks to your reflexes. "Here you go."
"What is this?" you asked him, confused, as you took his gift in your hands and examined it curiously. You had already wondered why he was the only one in the family who hadn't given you a gift when even the queen had entrusted you with a bracelet from her hometown.
In your delicate hands was a small wooden box, which you did not open yet in fear that it might be one of his jokes again and that there would be something disgusting in it. Hopefully it wasn't a spider...
"Open it. The woman I got it from told me girls like that kind of stuff," Aegon said with a shrug, as he brushed his long wavy curls out of his face.
Carefully and with an expression of suspicion, you opened the small wooden box a crack and stared at its contents with wide eyes. Inside was a beautiful golden brooch in the shape of a coiled dragon, whose eye was represented by a fragment of a pearl. It was beautiful...
Aegon looked at you unnoticed as you looked at the brooch he had given you in awe. He had not thought that this little piece would impress you so much. The best thing was that he didn't even have to pay gold for it, since the old woman had just given it to him when she saw his silver hair. He himself didn't wear such junk, but you in your pretty dresses and shimmering earrings and necklaces would certainly appreciate the piece of jewelry and apparently he was right.
With eyes sparkling with joy and a wide grin on your lips, you took the piece of jewelry out of the box and immediately put it on your dress right above your heart and when you looked at him, he needed a moment to come to terms with his thoughts.
It was probably the wine that was clouding his senses, wasn't it?
"And? Does it suit me?" you asked him excitedly in your normally gentle voice.
He swallowed. "Yes... it's pretty. You are pretty.â
For a moment you just stared at him, unable to believe that he-of all people!- had just called you pretty and given you the most wonderful gift of the evening. You liked the dragon brooch even more than the book and also much better than the wood carvings that your brothers had given you.
"I-I think I'd better leave you alone again now," the prince said suddenly and began to stand up, whereupon you quickly shook your head and instinctively reached for his hand in the hope that he would stay and maybe keep you company for a while. He might annoy you sometimes, but you certainly didn't hate him for that.
"Stay! Please..."
You batted your eyelashes and if Aegon had been stronger, he might have been able to resist. But he wasn't.
With a sigh, he let himself fall back into the grass, whereupon his cup tipped over and the dark red liquid soaked the ground next to you, but for some unusual reason he didn't care.
"And what do you think we'll do, princess? I see neither dancing fools nor musicians for our amusement.â
You seemed to think for a moment, then your gaze fell on the book, which was now lying neglected on the ground next to the tree. You picked it up and held it right in front of his nose.
âI could read to you! It is a collection of legends and songs from Essos. Perhaps you will appreciate them more than your brother.â
His shoulders sagged a little and a quiet sigh escaped him, but he nodded his head anyway, because after all, you were the one who had the special day and had turned a year older. Today was your day to make decisions.
âFine. Read to me then,â said Aegon, leaning against the bark of the old tree that had stood in the courtyard of the Red Keep for generations, a face carved into its center that sometimes seemed to stare at him judgingly. He didnât like it.
His little niece immediately moved closer to him, almost snuggling into his side, and opened the book to the page she had stopped on before he had interrupted her. Appropriately, it was even a legend from Oldtown, the home of his mother the queen.
Her soft voice immediately enveloped him like a warm blanket as she began to read to him and his initially stiff posture eased as he began to allow himself to relax.
He hated to think about it, but maybe you weren't as bad as he had thought.
The first time he thought about kissing you was on a quiet evening when nothing really special had happened except that you, now a girl of almost eleven, had secretly gone riding with him.
Sitting on your snow-white mare, your long brown curls blowing in the wind, a wide grin on your pretty face, and your arms stretched out to feel the headwind, you looked like a midsummer night's dream. The brooch he had given you a few years ago hung on the fabric of your coat.
It was early in the morning and the two of you had sneaked to the stables before anyone else but you and a few guards had walked through the corridors, but he had managed to get you past the watchful eyes of the King's Guard unnoticed. You had mounted your horses as quickly as you could and ridden together into the King's Wood until you found a clearing that seemed good enough to rest for a while.
You sat on the grass in the shade of a tree and ate cakes that he had secretly stolen from the kitchens before as a surprise for you. You had managed to talk him out of the wine.
Crumbs were lying on your lap and you held your hand over your mouth to hide your laughter after he had been frightened by a bug that had crawled onto his arm, causing him to screech as if he were the girl and not you.
His usually pale cheeks were red with embarrassment - as red as the ripest strawberries you loved to eat for breakfast - and he crossed his arms grumpily in front of his chest, but he couldn't blame you for laughing. After all, he often made fun of you because he loved to see you sulk.
But suddenly your happy laughter froze when you felt something on your head. A small white butterfly had landed on your hair and was slowly flapping its wings up and down. Your laughter disappeared and you looked at him with wide eyes. Aegon's heart skipped a beat.
"Aegon... what is that?" you asked him fearfully, not moving a single muscle.
"Well... it's huge. Horrible. The biggest bug I have ever seen," he lied with a mischievous gleam in his purple eyes, causing you to whimper softly and he could swear tears began to form in your eyes. How sweet.
"Make it go away. Help me." You begged him with a trembling voice. Apparently you had actually believed his lie, which made him feel proud.
Very carefully he slowly moved closer to you until your elbows brushed, which made him feel hot on the inside, and you felt the same, even if you didn't notice it, too afraid of the monster that had settled on your hair. You had no idea what innocent creature had chosen you as its resting place.
The prince stretched out his hand and very carefully approached the butterfly with his fingers. He felt you and the little insect looking at him, and it was then he did notice that you were just as delicate and lovely as the butterfly. Perhaps you had been born into the wrong house? You were not at all a dragon.
The butterfly fluttered its wings and hopped onto his index finger, which he held in front of your nose with a wide, triumphant grin on his lips. A sweet blush immediately spread across your cheeks and your slender shoulders sagged as you realized that you had made a fool of yourself.
In front of him of all people. In front of the boy you had secretly admired for several weeks at this point.
"Oh..." you murmured quietly to yourself and looked down at your lap while the butterfly continued to rest on the tip of his finger.
"Look how small and delicate it is... just like you."
You blinked up at him again and at that very moment the little insect jumped off his finger and fluttered away until it finally disappeared behind a nearby rose bush and you were both alone again, your only company being the birds that flew over your heads or nested in the nearby treetops.
"That was not funny, Uncle," you grumbled quietly to yourself and crossed your arms in front of your chest once again, while a small pout adorned your lips, which he found absolutely adorable.
"I thought so, little butterfly," he replied with the hint of a smile on his face, which was slightly tickled by the warm rays of sunlight that fell through the canopy of leaves - at least his nose was.
"Little butterfly?" you repeated the nickname he gave you with a wrinkle of your nose, because you yourself didn't know whether you should feel flattered or insulted. How did he always manage to make you question your feelings over and over again? It was a phenomenon.
"You heard me."
His smile widened and you couldn't help but try to smack him on the arm as best you could, but he just chuckled at your efforts, because it felt like anything but a punch. In his eyes, you were a butterfly, sweet, pure and innocent, deserving to be protected as far away from the scum of House Targaryen, Hightower and Velaryon as possible. You deserved better than this. At the same time, the thought of you leaving him and living somewhere else made him furious.
He wanted you to be happy, but he also wanted you to stay right where you were and where you were comfortable - with him, your annoying, drunken uncle who couldn't wait to see the girl he was sitting with grow into a mature, beautiful woman he could claim for himself.
And hopefully, when the day came, you would want that too.
Laena Velaryon was dead and House Targaryen had gathered for her funeral on the island of Driftmark to mourn the loss. At least those who knew her, which the young children did not and therefore stood rather bored to the side.
Heleana was talking to a spider, Aemond was standing around alone, and the sons of Rhaenyra stood with the daughters of Daemon. Two, however, had sneaked away from the funeral and sat down on the beach, a jug of wine in one hand and a plate of cake in the other.
Aegon, now sixteen years old and almost a man grown, sat to your left on the white sands of the island. He was dressed head to toe in green - on the orders of his mother and grandfather the Hand - and his hair now fell to his chest, even though he secretly wished it were shorter. He didn't really like the length and the tradition behind it. The expectations.
You sat next to him, now almost thirteen, and you were getting more beautiful by the day. Your brown hair, the proof of your mother's shame, now fell to your elbows and your petite body was wrapped in a purple dress and black cloak, due to the grief you had to pretend to feel, even though you had never known this woman. Your mother had wanted to force you to wear red again, but you had stood up to her and bravely confronted her, telling her that this constant hostility was foolish.
Such disagreements were becoming more and more frequent between your mother, your brothers and you, because you and the eldest prince had become truly inseparable in recent years. The bond that bound you together was strong and apparently unbreakable, because even though he continued to make jokes and antics and you mostly felt insulted and hurt as a result, you still felt this feeling. This warmth around your heart, this tickling in your stomach that felt like little butterflies that were locked inside you like in a chest.
You had learned to love him and without your knowledge he had learned to love you too.
"She told me again today to stay away from you," you told him, staring into the horizon and hoping that fate had other plans for you.
"I know, sweet butterfly. Just don't listen to her. What does she know about us anyway? Nothing. She knows nothing.â Aegon replied, instinctively holding his cup, which was filled to the brim with Dornish wine, tighter in his hand. Actually, he felt no hatred towards his half-sister - your mother - but he disliked the way she told you over and over again that his company was not good for you, that his ways were spoiling you like a worm spoils a ripe apple.
Perhaps his own mother was right and Rhaenyra would seek his life at some point. He would not be surprised, as much as she seemed to despise him. What had he ever done to her? Or was it his very existence that she detested?
You stared down at the cake that was on the plate you held in your hand. You had been hungry a moment ago, but now you were not anymore.
âI donât understand why we have to be here at all. None of us knew this woman." The prince grumbled, swirling the wine around in his cup, slowly moving it back and forth.
"She was my aunt-"
"But did you know her?"
You shook your head, one of your brown curls falling over your face and hiding half of your features from him like a veil. Sometimes he caught himself imagining a life with you, and lately his thoughts were not so innocent anymore. More and more often he woke up in the morning, desire burning through his veins, and he thought about you, how beautiful you were and how much more beautiful you would become if your curves continued to develop.
Criston had told him such desires were normal for a young man, but if the prince had admitted that you were the one who kept him awake at night, the man who was a second father to him probably wouldn't have understood either.
He carefully reached out his free hand to you and gently tucked the wild strand of hair behind your ear so that he could once again look into your dark eyes, which had always reminded him of a young doe. "What's going through your mind, niece?"
"Nothing. But... won't the others wonder where we are?"
Aegon was about to contradict you and tell you that you had absolutely nothing to fear when he suddenly heard his grandfather's loud, stern voice echo across the beach: "Aegon! Come here. Now."
You watched your friend anxiously as he straightened up and walked with slumped shoulders to the stone steps that would lead from the beach up to the fortress where the funeral was being held. You couldn't see exactly what was happening, but you swore that the old man grabbed his grandson's arm hard. The words he spoke to him did not seem particularly kind or compassionate, as the young prince quickly pulled away from him and disappeared in another direction.
However, he did not come back to you. He left you sitting alone on the beach with nothing but a glass of wine and a piece of cake. Now you had lost your appetite once and for all.
It was evening when you saw him next. The sun had long since disappeared behind the horizon and most people had returned to their chambers for the night or were getting ready for bed.
You did not know where your mother had gone or why there was suddenly no trace of Prince Daemon when he seemed to be in such a good mood at the funeral, even though he had just become a widower, but you were sure that you could not go to sleep without knowing where your friend was and how he was doing.
You found Aegon on the stairs that led to the beach behind. He was leaning drunkenly with his back against the cold, wet stone and his eyes closed. Next to him lay an overturned gold cup from which a small puddle of red liquid was running.
You had never seen him so drunk before.
Had he drunk himself to the point of unconsciousness?
This was the first time. The previous times you had seen him very drunk, he had at most strolled through the corridors slurring his words - or rather stumbled - and you or Aemond usually had to lead him back to his chambers, where he usually immediately fell onto his bed and sank into a deep sleep. But he had never fallen over because of the alcohol. You wondered what his grandfather had said to him that his first reaction was to get so drunk that he simply fell over.
You approached him carefully and knelt next to his sleeping form. Slowly and careful not to startle him, you reached for the now empty wine cup and put it to the side before gently placing a hand on his shoulder in the hope that he would open his amethyst colored eyes again. But he didn't.
"Uncle? Uncle, can you hear me?" you asked him timidly, leaning closer to him, so close that if he were awake he could feel your warm breath on his snow-white skin.
A mumble was all you got in response, but you couldn't understand any of the words or even guess what he was trying to say. Maybe he shouldn't drink so much... That couldn't be good for him in the long run.
When he didn't answer the second time either, you gently shook his shoulder and then finally his eyes fluttered open again and he blinked a few times in a row, as if he didn't understand where he was or why you were sitting so close to him, almost as if he couldn't remember what he had done before.
"What... what happened?" he asked you dazedly and sat up a little, whereupon a small, tortured groan escaped him.
"I was just about to ask you that," you replied with a smile on your soft, rosy lips. "You suddenly disappeared."
The older prince shrugged and stretched out his arm as if he wanted to reach for the wine cup that he assumed was at his side, but he only grabbed for air, as you had fortunately put it away a few seconds ago.
"I wasn't well. Nothing to worry your pretty head about, darling."
His answer wasn't enough for you, as the memory of Otto Hightower grabbing his arm and whispering angry words to him had not yet left your mind. There was more to it. You knew not what it was, but you suspected that it had something to do with you - or rather your features.
Your mother didn't want to name it, but you knew what you were. A bastard.
"You know that you can always be honest with me, Aegon. You don't have to hide anything from me. I am not your enemy."
At your words, his shoulders sagged and he felt a cold shiver run down his spine, but at the same time a warmth spread through him that he couldn't control and that burned in his eyes like the fire of his young dragon. He would not cry in front of you. He wanted to be strong for you.
"What was it?" you asked him again carefully, stroking his silver curls over his shoulder with one hand so that he would not be able to hide his face from you. You were already well aware of his tricks and you could guess what storm was sweeping through his head and throwing his thoughts into disarray like a hurricane over the sea.
"Did he scare you again? Told you you would be king?"
With every word you spoke, his heart tightened more and more in his chest and he could feel the tears burning hot in his eyes, ready to roll down his cheeks and disappear under the green fabric of his coat. You were too good for him, far too good. You were innocent and pure and he was corrupt and filthy. What had he done to deserve your affection? No one else seemed to think like you.
"Did he tell you to stay away from me?"
Without him being able to stop it, the first tear fell, then the second and suddenly he was sobbing bitterly and you could do nothing but take him in your arms and let him lay his head on your shoulder while you laid your cheek against his hair. He held on to you as if you were the last thing that bound him to life, as if you were the Mother herself who had wrapped her protective arms around him.
"He... he said the future king doesn't bother with the likes of you and that... that I would soon be married anyway and you too..." he sobbed into the fabric of your dress, while his arms wrapped themselves around your slim body and he pressed himself tightly against you, like a plush pillow he could bury his face in.
"That's not true and you know it. Mother would never give me to a man as a bride just yet. She wouldn't do that." You assured him while gently stroking his back. However, you didn't understand why this fact hurt him so much. One day, each of them would be married and bring more heirs into the world. That was the order of things, as the Septa's had taught you.
"But I don't want you to get married. I don't want you to be taken away."
More and more tears fell from his eyes and he couldn't help but tell you all the things that had been going through his head for weeks, months, and maybe even years. All his deepest desires, all the thoughts he hoped would never come to light, he laid at your feet like on a silver platter.
He only hated himself all the more for it.
"Why would they take me away from you? The Red Keep is my home. Mine and yours." You tried to talk to him, keeping your voice calm and collected, but you could feel yourself becoming more and more confused with every second that passed and with every word he whispered. He was falling apart in front of you and yet there was nothing you could do to ease his pain. You felt powerless.
"I don't want to marry just any woman," he murmured, hoping that you would recognize the pleading in his tone and understand what he longed for without him having to say it. He couldn't.
"She will be beautiful, Aegon. Beautiful, kind, smart and witty.â
Your list didnât make it any better, because in his eyes you embodied all of those things. You were the woman you described, the one he wished he would marry sooner or later, but how would you know? How could you even guess what a bad friend he was to you. He was a bad man, a bad prince, a bad son, a bad brother and now a bad friend as well.
You listed other attributes that you hoped would calm him down, because what prince wouldnât want a woman like that? Sometimes you wished you could be that one woman for him, the one he would spend his life by and learn to love. One who could call him âhusband.â But that would probably never happen. You were just a foolish girl with equally foolish dreams.
âBut I donât want just any woman. I want⊠I wantâŠâ He couldnât say it. He couldn't bring the words out of his mouth and instead he just clung to you tightly, burying his head even more in your shoulder before he managed to actually whisper those words that would haunt you from now on.
"I want you."
For a second it felt like the world stood still. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore stopped and the cool breeze of the evening wind only felt like a gentle touch, a light pat. There was a chance that you had misunderstood him, but you knew what you had heard. You knew it exactly.
"Uncle..."
"No, no, please listen to me," he begged immediately when he felt your arms, which were wrapped around him, loosen just a little and you tried to wriggle out of his grip. It was very important that you listened to him now.
"My little butterfly, you are the only one who sees me for who I really am and I know that I am not always easy, but you have to understand that you are the most important thing in my life. You mean everything to me."
You leaned back and let your eyes wander over his face, hoping to find a sign that this was just another one of his jokes and that he wasn't actually pouring his heart out to you. It reminded you of the books you loved to read. The poetry and the romance.
He wasn't lying. His eyes were honest and from the way he looked at you, as if you were the most precious thing to him, you knew that your relationship would be even more difficult in the future than it already was. The friendship between you two was not accepted by your family, but love? Like in the stories, this love was also forbidden, but in all the books the couples always had a happy ending with each other. Maybe everything would turn out well for you in the end too?
"My mother... she would never allow it," you muttered, shaking your head. and now you were the one who could feel your heart tightening painfully.
The prince shook his head firmly and he placed his hands on your cheeks, cradling your face in his palms while his thumbs gently stroked your cheeks, which were red from the cold and his words.
"I don't care. I promise you that one day I will marry you. I will take you as my wife, no matter the cost."
Without thinking, you closed your eyes and gently pressed your forehead against his. Your breath mingled and he closed his eyes too, continuing to gently hold your face in his hands. It wasn't a kiss, but for the two of you this moment had about the same meaning. It was the start of something new, something wonderful.
At that point, none of you could have guessed that not far away from you, a young, brave Aemond was approaching Vhagar with the intention of claiming the old dragon for himself. You did not know that he would soon lose his eye at the hands of his brother, nor that a discussion would then take place in the halls of Driftmark that would tear the two sides of your house apart, forever.
You could not have known that the very next day he would see you one last time and that you would then be torn away from him for six long years. How could you have known that beforehand?
But in that moment, in that embrace, everything was fine for you and you imagined together what your future might look like.
It would certainly be different than you had hoped, but your story would also come to a happy end eventually.
The dragons would dance and yet your souls burned to become one with each other.
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#house of the dragon#hotd#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon ii x you#aegon x reader#aegon targaryen x you#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii fanfic#tom glynn carney#ty tennant#hotd fanfic
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"the moment the f1 boys realised you were the one"
Charles Leclerc
being able to cry around you: charles has a bad habit of bottling everything up. it was three months into your relationship when he had a particularly bad race, a stroke of bad luck. he was met with pats on his back and mutters that he would do better. numbness flooding his veins, they did nothing to ease the anxiety in his chest. he met your eyes across the room and watched as you stepped closer. with extended arms, you'd told him to let it out. never once has anyone ever told him that before, and so he had instantly broken down, exhausted from having to hold it all together. there was nothing needed but your presence. he sobs messily into your shoulder and the next morning, he had wished that he'll always have you around.
Carlos Sainz
when he realised you knew him better than he did himself: "how did you know?" were his first words, when he came home one night, only to come face-to-face with a pair of Airpods on the nightstand, addressed to him. he had sorely needed a new pair after losing them on the plane but hadn't had the time to purchase them. "because i know you" was your answer, beaming up at him from the side, where you were preparing dinner. you had missed the deep look in his eyes, rambling on; first his sister's wedding anniversary present in the coat closet, then the watch his father had wanted mended for a while now all fixed. and there it was: that was the moment where carlos finally understood the fluttering in his heart.
Danny Ricciardo
making the best out of life: when you had agreed to go out with danny solely because he made life feel that much brighter, but what you didn't know was that he felt the same way about you. you were always up for anything, the easygoing aura you carried with your being influencing him, especially when he had suggested sharing the singular umbrella left in the store â the unexpected downpour having caught you both off guard. nonetheless, you huddled under the umbrella, both your shoulders getting soaked the second you left the safety of the grocery store shelter. eyes meeting across the umbrella handle, you both break out into chuckles at your plain misfortune. that's when he realised â there was no one else he wanted to be stuck in a bad situation with.
George Russell
inside jokes: it was a small thing, minuscule even, the earliest memory of the joke being one of your first few dates, before you were even official. it was just a simple coincidence that the situation you were called for it. in the group dinner with your mutual friends, george's eyes had shot to yours, searching for the only being who could possibly understand him. and in that flash of a moment when his blue gaze met yours, your bodies had naturally leaned towards their other halves, giggles muffled into your hands. if your friends were surprised at the sudden laughter, he doesnt even notice, too preoccupied with how gorgeous you looked in the candlelight and how fast his heartbeat has gotten.
Lando Norris
shared comfortable silence: your boyfriend loved people, befriending strangers and great conversations. it all came easy to him, possibly due to growing up a middle child, he mirrored a little ray of sunshine. but as much as he adored socialising, lando found that he equally enjoyed quiet time with you, especially on lounge chairs by the beach while you flipped through your book, absolutely taken by the words. lando admired the expression fluttering across your features with each passing page. something strange settled in his tummy as he continued staring, something he could only allude to how peace might feel like. perhaps this is how life was meant to be lived, he thought.
Lewis Hamilton
sharing tattoo meanings: lewis has had a lot of art done on his body over the years and he's proud of all of them; memories and meanings forever part of him. with the orange glow of your nightlight at 3am, he watched as you traced the patterns on his skin, telling you stories and what each of them meant. you had soaked up the words, mesmerised by the deep lull of his voice as he opened up his heart to you. never has anyone been so interested in him as a person, all they wanted to know was his career and business and he appreciated it. to you, he was just a man â someone you wanted to know more about.
Max Verstappen
his pets greeting you: as the provider for his cats, he expected a touch more loyalty from the feline beings. still he remained seated, fixated on how jimmy and sassy nuzzled at your calves, the warmth of their tiny bodies against his legs previously lost. the silence was broken by the sound of grocery bags tossed on the kitchen counter as you stooped down to scratch their fuzzy chins. a light purr emanated from sassy while jimmy rolled over, also meowing in a bid for attention. his heart strangely light, he watched you indulge them like the spoiled brats they were. was it because of how much love was within you or the care you held for the things he held dear? either way, max couldn't tamp down the urge to cross the room and wrap you in his arms, much like you did with his pets now, the three little words in the back of his throat.
#f1 imagine#f1 headcanons#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz x reader#daniel ricciardo fluff#daniel ricciardo x reader#george russell fluff#george russell x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#lewis hamilton fluff#lewis hamilton x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x reader#my writing#itsvelyria#formula one fluff#formula one x reader
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âI love you.â
Various jjba characters and how they express their affection for you
Content: lots of fluff and physical affection, inclusion of Dio being shallow and manipulative, alcohol and alcoholism mentioned, slightly suggestive
Written in headcanons style
Characters: Joseph Joestar (part 2), DIO, Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati, Leone Abbacchio, Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli
-Joseph Joestar: You will be drowning in his loud affection one way or another. Such a physically affectionate partner, his lips pressed all over you, a constant flirt with wandering hands (and sometimes wandering eyes). He always aims to impress you or show off, and makes an effort to remember your likes and dislikes. He might tease, but heâs usually careful to not push you too far. Always jumping in to defend you; your sad face cuts him deeper than you know. You shouldnât ever have to cry out of anguish, it is something he simply wonât stand for. If you do cry around him, you can guarantee he wonât be resting til youâre smiling again. He puts every effort into making you feel better when youâre down; itâs one of the rare moments you see him choose to behave seriously in front of you.
-DIO: LoveâŠWhen youâre around him and he says his affection for you is deep and endless, it is very believable. He had such a way with words he could convince you of most anything, honestly. He could tell you you were the only one he ever saw, his favorite, he wishes he could spend his eternity by your side and of course he would if it wouldnât be so cruel to take your humanity by turning you into a vampire. Or so he says.
It sounds ridiculous when you reflect on it when youâre away from him. Of course heâs just telling you what you want to hear, why do you keep coming back?!
And yet you return and return and return. Even though it was only shallow lust, if it came from Lord Dio it felt like you were with your soulmate. Maybe thatâs the limit of the affection he will ever feel for you. A lust, a desire just deep enough that he will put some effort into taking care of you. His âloveâ comes from words, waxing empty poetic to you. And, of course, promising to give you whatever it is you truly want. He will make it happen. All you need to do is swear your loyalty to him, and he will grant you any desire you seekâŠ
And if that desire is him? You can have your fill whenever you please~
-Rohan Kishibe: He is not a subtle man, nor does he try to be. A mere glance will show you the true impact you have on himâŠafter allâŠyou so often appear in his works. And so blatantly too. This character has your eyes. That character has a birthmark just like yours. One says things you would say. One dresses in your style. A piece of you, each time. It is how he wants it. He is proud to admit you are his ultimate muse, his favorite inspiration. Whenever heâs fighting art block, he turns to you.
Though, he is not so good with actually verbalizing the depths of his affection for you. Heâs not the best at physical affection either. He wonât hold hands for long, he often doesnât know how to respond to kisses and hugs, and usually he doesnât get too close at night, if he even comes to bed at all.
It is enough for you. It doesnât matter so much to you that he isnât an expert in verbal or physical affection. You feel every ounce of his passionate love for you when he asks you to model for him, even though you know an exceptionally brilliant artist like him doesnât need you to do a basic pose for him. And it does not go unnoticed to you that the poses he requests are always very comfortable for you to hold on the couch.
-Bruno Bucciarati: He takes care of you. It is what he does, and it is how he shows his love. Youâre eating at a restaurant, he will pay the check. Stuck in a crowd? His hand will be on the small of your back, maybe subconsciously, or maybe deliberately, so he wonât lose track of you. Heâll drive you home at night, and wait til he sees youâre safely inside. He is a sanctuary.
Though he is not the most in tune with his emotions, and clear communication is difficult for him sometimes, but damnit if he doesnât try for your sake. Heâs very busy, but he makes an effort to carve out some time for you where you can both have some peace and quiet, and a heart-to-heart.
When itâs just the two of you, heâs able to lower that guard of his. You can always tell heâs tired. But he puts you and everyone else he cares about first, every time.
You lean against his chest. He is so tense, but he allows himself to slump his shoulders and hold you close. He talks for a bit, just being honest with you, vulnerable. And then he goes quiet, his chin resting against the top of your head.
His breathing is soft, his hands gently slide down your armsâŠhe had fallen asleep. A rare opportunity for you to take care of him without him protesting has finally presented itselfâŠ
-Leone Abbacchio: Sure he is a jaded and broken and horribly grumpy man but he is also very capable of affection and care, even if heâs not the best at showing it. Despite his crass personality, he has suffered so much, so he can also empathize much more than youâd initially think. Though that doesnât make him great at giving you comfort or affirming speeches. His love comes from reassurance; usually words are unnecessary. Heâll always sit beside you wherever you go. If someone tries to take his spot next to you at a restaurant, heâll drag them out of that seat if he has to. What is his is also yours. You want to drink his wine? Sure, donât mind the purple lipstick on the rim of the glass. The depth of his physical affection is deepest when you share a quiet evening together. His hand on your shoulder, face pressed against your neck. Whether itâs him taking a quick moment to reflect (youâre his pillar, and heâs reminded of it especially when his troubles seem to melt away when he presses his forehead against the back of your neck), or heâs a little drunk and trusts you to straighten him out (his pillar, his pillarâŠeven when heâs indulged in too many bad habits and slurs his words and stains your neck with purple lipstick as he falls asleep nestled against you, you are always so kind and patient to him, but always firm). He is broken, his regrets follow him like a vengeful ghost, he will never be good enough for you in his own eyes. But damn it if he wonât at least try.
-Guido Mista: His hand in yours, quick kisses up your arms all the way up to your cheek. His bullets swirling around him constantly gushing about how nice and amazing you are and begging Mista to go see you again so they can Also see you. The mercilessness when he digs his fingers into your skin and tickles you until he ends up getting hurt from your elbow hitting his nose on accident from your squirming.
He calls your name just to get you to look at him. He thinks you smell SO good, especially after you freshen up with your favorite scent, but he actually worries about looking weird around you so he might not say anything. Guess he doesnât realize itâs much weirder to silently sneak in sniffs instead of telling you he likes how you smell. Heâs even more impulsive than usual when youâre involved. If he has money in his pocket and you seem slightly interested in something you can bet heâs opening up his wallet and buying it for you.
You do a lot for him, a steady and familiar comfort in his crazy lifeâŠso let him blow a couple bucks on you when he wants to. Seeing you happy when he manages to get you something you like is one of his greatest joys in life.
-Gyro Zeppeli: Watch his hands, heâll put them all over you when the opportunity presents itself. Heâs not a gentleman, you already knew that. He doesnât even try to talk like one. He loves how you feel in his lap, and heâs not shy about saying it out loud. One of lifeâs greatest joys is a drink in one hand, and his other hand supporting the back of a cute thing like you sitting on his thighs. If you walk by him, you Know that man is gonna try and playfully spank you. Put your hands in his hair, he loves when you play with it, but choose your timing because it might put him in a mood if you tug on it. And of course heâll delight you with the spin, if you let him. He uses it so gently with you, easing your sore muscles after a long day, or sending pleasant sensations rippling across your skin. Or using it to cause a bit of mischief. A sudden jolt through your body when he wants your attention, or a relentless tickling that has you laughing and writhing and begging him to knock it off.
He holds onto you like a teddy bear when the two of you snuggle up for the night. His muscular arms wrapped around you, clinging to you, snuggling his face against you.
It can be suffocating at times. Heâs just so. Big and strong. But damn do you feel safe, and you havenât the heart to push him away when he wants to hold you at night.
He does this thing where he gives you something he values, so you can hold onto it for him and give it back to him later. Itâs how he shows his trust for you. Hold on to one of his belt buckles, or his goggles, or his hatâŠgive it back at your leisure. He insists. He knows youâll keep it safe, and itâll remind you of him if you hold onto it. In his eyes itâs a win win.
#jjba x reader#Jojos bizarre adventure x reader#thus wrote Mrs Zeppeli#Joseph Joestar x reader#dio x reader#rohan kishibe x reader#bruno bucciarati x reader#leone abbacchio x reader#guido mista x reader#gyro zeppeli x reader
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hey!!! Ugh I just love your account! I have a request for Spencer Reid x fem reader!! Can you do one where he is always working and it makes the reader upset bc he is cancelling dates and coming home late and kinda neglects her feelings and doesn't really notice how much it affects her and how sad she gets and then he misses their anniversary dinner and she breaks and tells him that it makes her upset when he's gone all the time and he just feels so awful bc he's so in love with her and never wants her to feel that way because of him and apologizes and reassures her and makes sure she feels loved!!
ty for the request and i loved the idea for this one!
wishful thinking.
pairing :: spencer x fem!reader
warnings :: angst with a fluffy ending; very mild makeout session at the end :3
word count :: 2.4k
authorâs note :: i kind of giggled at the ending as i was writing it, but iâm pretty proud of how this one turned out!
accompanying song :: neverthere by xander
spencerâs phone is quite literally the bane of your existence.
you know what to expect whenever it rings, so you hate when it actually does â its earthquaking vibrations and trilled beeps tear the happiness straight out of you.
itâs the second date in a row that heâs had to pass, and you wonder if you should just stop trying so hard. was it selfish to want to have him all to yourself, to have him seated right across from you, sharing your laughter as you pass him his plated pasta? were you expecting too much, imagining a serene life with him ten years down the road, perhaps with kids or pets of your own? was it unfair to think that you could craft a lie, telling him your stomach hurt really bad, so bad that you would have to curl up on the floor and pray heâd stay by your side just this once to comfort you?
all you ever wanted was spencer. more specifically, you wanted spencer during your first three dates, when heâd silence all of his phone calls, and wave them off like nothing even though you insisted he take them. maybe if you didnât bring up the importance of taking work calls, none of this would have ever happened. maybe it was all coming back to bite you for your non-confrontational nature, since you could never plead him to actually stay.
but heâs your boyfriend⊠and thatâs all that matters, right? after all, he has lives to save â people whose names are called out during prayers day and night by their loved ones as they cling on to the sliver of hope that your boyfriend and his team promise during the darkest hours. granted, spencer would drop everything if you were in a similar situation, but none of your problems have actually been life-threatening. but a girl can dream, canât she? your first anniversary date was when spencer promised to make amends, a formal compensation for all of the past dates that he missed and left you feeling empty on your shared bed, stains of mascara chalked up on your dry cheeks.
âiâm so sorry, honey, iâve just been⊠called in for work,â spencer stands, dusting the napkin that was folded nicely on his lap. you watch as he takes a sip of his glass of water, then walks over to you to plant a kiss on your forehead.
he runs his fingers along the velvety texture of the sleeves of your dress, and you offer him a weak smile.
âitâs okay, duty calls, right?â you feel the tears surfacing and you have to fight yourself to not blink. itâs too early to cry.
âi-itâs a really bad one this time, and i hate to do this on such an important day-â spencer begins to apologize frantically, and his face marks an expression of genuine concern with his brows furrowing and lips twitching.
âitâs okay. you need to go, i understand.â you state plainly, and you immediately feel shameful â your words are too assertive and snarly for how you normally respond.
spencer pauses briefly, fidgeting with his fingers, before he gives a slight nod in your direction. he then walks over to the couch, grabs a book, and tightens the clasps on his bag.Â
âiâll be back as fast as i can,â spencer utters quietly and walks out of the door. when the apartment door locks with a click, you break down immediately.
at first, the tears fall one by one. but then, a salty stream evident of pure emotional wreckage makes its way into the slight gap of your lips, and itâs an unstoppable domino effect. your shoulders shudder and heave as you struggle to catch breaths in between, and you splutter cries of your boyfriendâs name.Â
maybe it wouldâve been better to just stay as conversational partners, to exchange updates once in a while when heâd actually commit to a time. it was your fault for getting your hopes up high, and all of this â fanciful dinner and dressing your best for the occasion â was wishful thinking. you just didnât want to admit it.
ây/n?âÂ
you look up to see spencer in front of the doorway, and his bag that was barely holding on to his shoulder drops to the floor with a thud.
you quickly look away, brushing the tears away with one arm and sniffle before choking out a response.
âi thought you left already, why are you here?â again, your words come out icier than you had hoped and hit you with a sharp pang of guilt.
spencer narrows his eyes ever so slightly as if heâs scrutinizing you, observing your body language. it doesnât take a genius to know that youâre upset.
âi was going to. realized i forgot-,â
he clears his throat when you raise your eyebrows and proceeds, "i misplaced my wallet."
he slips out of his loafers, shoving aside his pair of converses that lie adjacent to your pretty pair of heels. he walks over to you, and you realize that youâre still seated at the dining table. you must look so stupid right now, waiting as if heâd just be returning from a bathroom break.
âi need to head out, but i promise⊠i promise weâll talk about this really soon. weâll have the anniversary dinner and-â
âdid you even try?â you blurt out, and you look up at him with your puffy eyes glazed with tears.
a deathly silence clouds over the entire apartment, and youâre thinking of two options: leave the apartment and go run to a friendâs place, or confront him and see whether making amends â again, wishful thinking â would be possible.
ây/n. please believe me when i say that iâve tried to, iâve tried-â
you slam a hand to the table before standing up, your face twisting into an expression of outrage.
âno, because then you wouldâve silenced it. you wouldâve cut the call, just like you used to.â you fire your words at him as your hair sticks to the drying tears on your cheeks, and you begrudgingly wipe at your face.Â
a slow sigh escapes from spencerâs lips, and he looks at you with those eyes â the eyes that seemingly warn you, saying you donât want to go there. not right now.
but you double down on him, the rage fueling your words as you lash out.Â
âit was just this one time. i only wanted you to stay for dinner just this one time.â you helplessly drop your hands to your sides, the tears landing on the floor with soft plops.
âi know. and iâm terribly sorry.â spencer bites his bottom lip and takes a step toward you. but you take a step back, and maybe that pulls a string between the two of you, because you can see how his shoulders tense up.
âlook, can we talk about this when i get back? iâll make it up to you, i swear.â he combs through his hair, the stress almost palpable as it leaks from his shaking fingers.
while you know he has to head out again, the way he so easily brushes off the conversation like itâs something he doesnât even want to think about feeds into your disbelief. soon, however, your anger subsides into a tired frown.Â
âi donât know, you might come home late⊠when iâm asleep or something.â you look at the wall where a photo of the two of you is framed, and you weakly smile at how happy you seemed then.Â
âiâll give you a call, is that okay?â he searches your face for any signs of approval, but youâre zoned out thinking about the past, of how everything used to be.
âwhatever, just go.â you wave him off and walk to the couch, where you lie down and turn against him to face the plush fabric.
spencer sighs, and his hand looms over your head momentarily before he grabs his wallet from the table. you hear a faint sorry trail from behind as he leaves the room, and your nails claw at the arms of the couch before the darkness cradles you once again.
itâs 10:30 pm, and you hear the doorknob click again. you had just cleaned up the dishes after eating dinner alone and left his portion in the fridge. you were now changed into your pajamas and getting ready for your night routine.
you peep out of your bedroom door to see spencer, his suit all wet. he looks at you as he takes off his shoes, and a sullen expression paints his face. did it start raining after he left? you realize that you were mostly cooped up in the bedroom since his departure, so you wouldnât have known.
bravely looking up at him in the eye, you state: âyou came back early.â you hate how unwelcoming you sound in his own home.
he pauses before he sets his wet bag on the floor and removes his blazer jacket to throw over a chair.Â
he approaches you, hands in his pockets and hair twisted in matted curls.Â
âhm.â he grabs a towel from the closet and makes his way to the shower, brushing past your shoulder. you feel an icy shudder spread through your spine after he closes the bathroom door.
was he giving you the silent treatment right now?Â
you hear the water start from the bathroom and you sink into your bed while turning to twist the lamp lights on.
after all that torturous waiting you went through, he was giving you the silent treatment?
fifteen minutes later, a knock reverberates from the other side of the bedroom door, and even though you donât respond, spencer steps in. heâs changed into a t-shirt and black pajama pants, and he drops next to you on the bed.
âiâm taking the week off.âÂ
the sentence startles you, and itâs something so unexpected you choke on your own saliva.
âwhat, what do you mean youâre taking the week off?â you ask him, finally turning to face him in the eyes. his brown irises blaze into your own.
âiâve been pushing off everything you wanted to do with me â things that I wanted to do with you â and iâve just beenâŠâ he turns away to play with the wrinkles on his pants as he speaks, picking out the dust that lies embedded between the folds.
he pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a deep sigh. he continues, âi donât know if itâs all worth it.â
silence casts a blanket over the two of you.
âspence,â you say after a while, and hesitantly lay a hand on his thigh.
ânothingâs more important in the world to me than you. you and your happiness. i know you love this job and i know you love helping people. youâre such a kind hearted man, and itâs why i fell in love with you in the first place.â
when spencer gives you no response, you confess: âspence, i get jealous sometimes.â
this time his eyes widen, and he looks at you.
âyou do?â he asks softly, peering into your eyes and you cave instantly.Â
âof course i do. itâs⊠everybody wants you, spencer. we all need you, whether we realize it or not.â
he scoffs.
âbut i only want you.â
his voice is raspy yet mellow at the same time, the smoothest stream of sweetness seeping through your eardrums. god. you can never stay mad at this gorgeous man, the same man that made you cry on numerous occasions just counting the past week.
âyou need to do more than that, if you⊠you know.â you quietly murmur as you fidget with the hem of your nightgown.
âi know,â he speaks with a hushed tone. âi told hotch, and i told him it was going to happen whether he liked it or not. the demands of this job are⊠tough, but i donât want to miss out on all the things we planned together. i wonât.â
you start bawling right when he delivers the last word, and all the tears that you were holding back spill over your flushed cheeks. your boyfriend immediately leans in to console you, pulling you into a tight embrace as his chin rests on top of your head.Â
itâs okay, he murmurs reassuringly. you ease into his touch, and you realize how much you missed this. how much you missed spending time with him.
his left hand tugs lightly at your soft hair while his right rubs your back in smooth circles.Â
âi missed you,â you speak with a hushed voice, looking up into his eyes as a glassy coat of tears blur your vision.Â
he cups your face with his hands before whispering, âi missed you too.â
you continue to blabber words of love-stained anguish but he cuts you off short, pulling you in for a short kiss on your lips, which are now tainted with your tears.
âyou taste⊠salty,â he whispers, giving you a slight smile as he brushes off the rest of your tears that weigh down on your eyelashes.
âitâs because of you, silly,â you drawl as you taste the salty residue of your tears.
yeah, spencer responds hesitantly. but heâs wearing a small smile, tilting his head to one side as his eyes emit a glint of tranquilizing peace.
he reaches into his pajama pocket and takes out a piece of candy. you curiously watch as his fingers quickly remove the wrapper, revealing a glazed cherry-flavored sphere.Â
âmay i?â he asks, and his faint voice is a gravitational force that you canât resist.
you briefly respond with a lazy hm? before he plops the candy into your mouth and kisses you again. the sweetness explodes like fireworks with his warm breath, and the sticky layer of sugar melts like acid on your intertwined tongues. you let out a satisfied hum when you pull back, and itâs undeniably attractive the way spencer licks the corner of his lips.
a tear falls from your eye again, and this time, itâs not out of sorrow.
#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic#mgg x reader
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i bet on losing dogs
pairing: cairo sweet x fem reader
summary: in which cairo's obsession for mr. miller drifts you two further apart, and you can't do anything about it.
word count: 4.2k+
warnings: angsty (not proud of it) toxic cairo, mentions of sex, mentions of teacher/student relationships
based off request!
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Hey... Can I have a request?! Cairo Sweet x Fem!Reader
"I'm done waiting for you, Cairo."
Credits to: urfriendlywriter
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Cairo was.. Honestly, you didnât know how to explain to her. Thatâs just exactly how to describe her. She was indescribable.Â
One moment in a day would you be like the teenage girl you are, in love. The beat in your heart would race, fluttering in your chest as she bit the eraser on her pencil, looking at you with eyes that made your legs feel like mush.
Then, another day you would feel hopeless. Helpless. Because the beautiful brown-eyed girl would leave you in the dust.Â
She would sweep you off your feet, but never care enough to really catch you. Maybe thatâs why you kept going back. To feel the thrill, to be loved for just a little moment with the girl youâll love no matter what happens.Â
But you had no cure, because she was so contagious. Addictive. She was like a drug that you couldnât get enough of, yet there was no cure to make you stop. Cairo Sweet. It was in her name. Her genes. She was so syrupy sweet, you just couldnât help it. You were too blinded to think properly.Â
The amount of times Cairo swept your feet, you grew tired. Tired of her games, of her love that began to come off as a hoax. As much as youâd want to holler it out loud, you couldnât say you were tired of her. Never.Â
The countless moments where you were left in the dust, the rain. No seriously, the rain.Â
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âIâll be there!â Cairo smiles, your grin wide. âI just need to discuss the essay for my final to Mr. Miller real quick. It should only take 8 minutes max.â The girl assures, rubbing your shoulder as you two e spend our lunch together. You lean into it. A part of you now wishes you couldâve changed it. Maybe youâd feel better not feeling the stabbing pain in your stomach.
âOkay,â you respond softly. âI canât wait to work on that project with you! I think weâll amaze her with our studies, then after you can spend the night and we can have ice cream!â
She laughs.
You canât stop looking at her eyes. Syrupy sweet, not a hint of hesitance. She lifts a cigarette to her mouth, a soft smile on her face. Cairo nods, âWeâll outsmart the whole class with someone as smart as you,â she gives your nose a little boop with her finger before the bell rings.
Quickly, she packs her bags, stopping to look at you from time to time as she stuffs papers in it. Your eyes filled with expression, it comforts her to see the happiness that shines through them. It makes her smile too.Â
..
The bell had rang, echoing through the hallways as the doors of classrooms slam open. The empty, hollow hallway is now bustling with everyone chattering and speaking to each other, giggling and laughing.
Winnie is by your side, the wavy hair girl walking with your arm linked to hers. âCairo seems so into her final for Mr. Miller, donât you think so?â She has the slightest accent, you slowly nod.Â
âI guess so. She is a writer after all. Not to mention a talented one.â You go through the exits of Tennesseeâs high school, stopping at one of the benches right at the exit. âIâm waiting here for Cairo, weâre going to finish our project, adding all the important stuff.â Winnie nods, handing you a lollipop as you take it. âThanks.â
âSee you, Y/N!â
You give her a small wave, watching her leave.Â
âŠ
It had been ten minutes since the bell rang, the students slowly beginning to die out. Youâd call your mom once Cairo would come, you liked having conversations with her anyway. Chatters of students still quietly linger. You stand up, peeking through the gates, theyâre closed.
Thirty minutes pass and a sigh escapes your lips, bored. Maybe Cairo is just having more questions to ask, like she always does. You plop the lollipop that Winnie gave you into your mouth, stuffing the wrapper in your jacket.Â
It had been officially an hour and four minutes. You donât even know why you waited this long. As if it couldnât get any worse, rain begins to drizzle down, damping your hair. For the first time, Cairo left you out there, in the rain. You stare at your phone, gripping it so tightly that your knuckles spread to white. You try to wait for a text, anything so Cairo makes it aware that sheâd be a little late, but it never comes.Â
You call your mom, sniffling as you press your ear to the phone, kicking your feet across a puddle. You wipe your eyes,Â
By the time your mom honks, waving you with a smile on your face, you weakly give one back, walking up to her. Wet clothes stuck to your figure, drenched and shaking. The look on her face gives it all, your mother sees through you no matter what.Â
âHi, honey. Whereâs Cairo? Didnât you say that she was going to come to ours today?â
You stiffen, throwing your soaked backpack in the backseat. Cairo didnât even live that far. She always walks to school. âSheâs busy,â you reply, turning away from her. You look out the window, sinking into your seat. âLike always.â
âBut didnât you two have that project, itâs due tomorrow, no?â
âWell she canât make it, okay?â You mumble.
âOh, well maybe she can come over some other time,â she leaves it at that.Â
The more you think about Cairo, the more you feel sick, the lollipop disintegrated in your mouth.
You canât help but feel the sweetness of the lollipop leave a new awful taste in your mouth. Your mouth fills with saliva, how it always does whenever you are upset. You swallow it down.
You did almost the whole project by yourself, you were up till 2AM.
So when school arrives the next day, youâre barely awake, turning it in and tired eyes completely avoiding Cairoâs gaze.
â8 minutes my ass,â you mutter while slamming the project into the turn-in basket.
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From that day on, it just kept happening.
Like always, you somehow always manage to come back to Cairo. You canât help it. To turn away those doe-like eyes makes you feel like you just murdered an innocent creature.Â
Cairo Sweet.Â
Sourness coats your tongue when her name rolls off of it.Â
After countless stand-ups and sobbing in bed, even when you forgive her, you can sense that you two are drifting further apart. Sheâs been snapping at you a little more often, ignoring you sometimes, it makes you feel unloved. You donât like it. You really donât like it, yet you canât stop it.Â
âItâs that stupid final sheâs doing, Winnie. Ever since Mr. Fucking Miller assigned to her, itâs like she hasnât had time for anything. She only has the time when it comes to him, â you rant, wiping your mascara stained eyes with your fingers.Â
Winnie looks thoughtfully at you, a small frown tugging at her lips. She sighs, patting her thighs, âCome here, sweetheart.âÂ
When you crawl in between her and her comforter, she cuddles you. âSometimes people are like that. They abandon things when they find a new thing to obsess over. Even when the things are the most important to them. Itâs like they forget about what the thing did to make them feel so special and go running off to a new one because it makes them feel good.â
She strokes your hair as you sniffle into her neck. From her eyes, you looked so vulnerable. Like how you did when you first got into arguments with your parents. âIâm sure once that final is over, you two will be back into two peas in a pod. Three, including me at times,â she cracks a smile at you.Â
You donât respond, looking away, before mumbling, âWinnie, I donât think itâs that final.â
âYeah?â
âCairo was writing about a prompt to answer what love was,â you look up at her, trying to make her understand. âI read some of it, and it was straight up smut, Winnie.â
You couldnât believe it when you first read it. The way your eyebrows contorted, lips pursing into a tight line. You memorized one of the lines she wrote as you recited it out loud. âHis fingers, long and ribbed, glistened with the arousal that gushed out of Aliceâs heat like a riverbed-â
âOkay fuck that shit, whoâs âheâ exactly?â
âThatâs the problem. Itâs about a student-teacher relationship Winnie. The final isnât the issue. Sheâs trying to convince herself that there's some connection between her and Mr. Miller.â
âThat man is at least 80 years old-â
â50.â
âWhatever, but if Cairo is trying to experiment how far she can go with her charms. Iâm going to be proud to take the trophy for who has the most reasonable crushes.â
âYou cannot be talking right now Winnie.â
âBoris is a different story! But like, for anyone else, Iâm an equal opportunist. Iâd fuck you.â
âI know.â
âSee, reasonable crushes.â
You roll your eyes, it doesnât really make you feel better.
Winnie thinks for a moment, itâs silent, until you almost see a lightbulb flash above her head. âCairo loves lantern festivals. She wouldnât miss one for the world, what about this?..â
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Your knee bounces up and down, waiting in your usual spot after school for Cairo. Itâs the first bench under the tree. As you see her, youâre about to wave, until you see him.Â
Mr. Miller walking Cairo out of his classroom, patting her shoulder before making eye contact with you briefly. You narrow your eyes as he gives a disgustingly sweet smile to her before turning away. You flip him off, like a fire burning behind your pupils.
Tell your baby that I'm your baby.
âY/N!â she shouts, grinning as she walks up to you. âHey!â
âHi, Cairo.â you greet, offering to take her books, which she thanks.
âIâm almost done with my final essay for Mr. Miller. I think heâll be able to write my letter of rec for college in the future. Probably going have to meet with him after school on some days.â
âSounds fine,â you plainly respond, holding her books. âBy the way, I was thinking that next Saturday we could spend some time together. Maybe Winnie can come too.â
The writer hums in contentment as you keep going, âIâve never gone to a lantern festival before, and theyâre holding one next week. Itâs like 2 hours away and I really wanted to go with you.â
A flutter in your chest erupts as you see your favorite brown eyes shimmer. âYeah,â she says, âYes, Iâd love to go with you!â
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After the slow ticks of the clock and marks on the calendar, getting closer to the countdown, Saturday finally comes.
You hate the way it feels so long when youâre in school, waiting for the weekend, but it dashes by when summer break arrives. You especially hate it when youâre waiting for an event, it makes the time go by even slower.
Winnie kept patting your shoulder and teasing you about it. âProbably because youâre looking a bit too forward with spending time with Cairo.â Sheâd say. âI mean, I love lantern festivals! But you seem so much more excited than I am.â
An oversized tee gets draped over your figure, pairing it with blue jeans as you try to look decent before dashing out the house.
Your mom drives you, in which you're happily hoping to spend the night in Cairoâs bigger car. She told you she brought blankets and stuffies and everything. When you think about it, you grin through the refreshing breeze that blows in your hair.
âYou seem extra happy, Sunshine,â your mom notices, smiling at you. âJust how I love you, always so bright.â
The afternoon sun illuminates through the city as minutes and hours pass, changing into a grassy meadow. You stick your head through the window, feeling alive every time the wind hits your hair. Everytime you close your eyes, you see the picture of endless floating lanterns lighting up the night sky.Â
Like a scene out of Tangled.
You have to actually turn on the radio and sing your feelings out.
âNow she's here, shining in the starlight, Now she's here, suddenly I know. If she's here, it's crystal clear, I'm where I'm meant to goâ
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Two hours pass by, and you hop out of your motherâs car. âIâll stay nearby, okay? Your aunt's house is only 25 minutes away.â
You nod, kissing her cheek goodbye as the clock hits 5:45. The grassy meadow surrounds you, slightly swaying from the breeze and glowing from the setting sun. You see people setting up their tents, so you lay down a towel and send Cairo a text.
y/n: hey! iâm here, i got us a seat. canât wait to spend the night in your car!
Birds chirp along with the chatter of people around you. It soothes your body a little as you lean back and take a nap, your mind only on the excitement that you get to spend this moment with Cairo Sweet.
-
You wake up from the sound of fire crackling, your eyes adjusting to the lanterns that people are preparing to let go in about an hour and thirty, when the sun will completely set. The weather is cool, breezy, sunny, and the light blue sky plastered with fluffy clouds. You head to get some floating lanterns, noticing that Cairo isnât here yet. Maybe itâs traffic.
A nagging feeling tugs in your gut as you hear the giggles of couples decorating the lanterns together.
As you head back with three large lanterns in your hand, you check your phone. No new messages, your shoulders fall to their sides, sighing.
âY/N!âÂ
You immediately perk up from the call of your name, turning around and seeing Winnie, a bright smile on her face. You wave her over.
âHi,â you say, looking at her hair thatâs put down.
âHey, cutie, whatâs with the sour face?â
The silence is really all she needs as she goes, âOh. Sheâs still not here? I thought I was really late.â That made you feel a little worse.
Cairo wouldnât abandon you, sure she has canceled plans last minute thousands of times, or made you wait longer than usual, but not in the dark. Not in the dark knowing how much you looked forward to this. Your heart tugs again, your breath getting stuck in your throat.
Itâs the same feeling your tiny self felt when your childhood best friend moved away, or a thousand times worse than realizing that the tooth fairy wasnât real.
y/n: where r u? the festival is going to start soon.
Really hoping youâre not going to stand me up again, like the plenty of other times you did. You really wished you could have added that phrase.
6:30 and still no sign of her. You know youâve cried like a little child because of her, youâve tried to avoid her in every way possible. Yet no matter what, it always seems that the sweet girl youâve known comes back to you moments later.Â
Sheâs just running late. The tiny voice in your head says, to somehow calm your nerves down. Winnie squeezes your hand, urging you to decorate your lanterns together. So you force the growing lump in your throat with a painful swallow, nodding and beginning to draw flowers that somehow are Cairoâs favorite ones. âItâs going to be okay,â she softly coaxes, and you feel like crying into her arms.Â
You really thought she wouldnât do it this time. You really started to believe that she was good at heart for you. Maybe she could be. But you didnât want to give her the chance anymore, you were officially drained.
The sunset envelopes you and Winnie in its eternal color of the sunshine, though the warm feeling is rather cold. Cold and ugly. You wouldâve been used to it, but you drove 2 hours for her. You knew you could count on Winnie, but you traveled so far for Cairo to be able to spend time with her. Now it just seems like sheâll throw you away whenever Mr. Miller is around.Â
-
Sheâll talk about him almost anytime she can, it makes you feel insecure. Sometimes, you wish you could just shake her brain and tell her, âIâm right here.â You were there all along. You would be there when she needed it, but she was never there when you needed her. A moth to a flame.
Even when your heart cracks more and more, to love is to sacrifice, your broken hand is still holding on. Cairo is the only thing youâd ever know about love.Â
Even when you tell yourself to get over it, to ignore her, you canât help the way your heart turns into goo when she smiles at you. I wonât let go yet. You promise to yourself as she crashes her lips to yours, alcohol coating her tongue as you have the need for more.Â
Take me, your heart sings as Cairo, drunk and wanting, tears the bottom of your blouse, the room filling with your breathy moans.
You need to let go, Your brain pounds against your forehead as youâre left in the dark of the movie theater, an empty seat next to you. A seat that was meant for your hand to hold hers.
Why do you manage to always forgive her? Believe that sheâll be âokayâ this time? Why did you always let her in knowing that she would do the same thing once again?
-
7:30, the lanterns begin to lift off, your eyes half-lidded with unshed tears as you hold onto your floating lantern. Winnie turns to look at you, but you donât look back, the small ember glistening against your glossy eyes.Â
She was just late. Sheâd come. Your heart grows a little heavy.
âHey,â she says softly, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder, âItâs going to be okay. Cairo is just stupid, sheâs been stupid ever since Miller. But I donât want to talk about her right now, okay? Letâs spend the night together and weâll see what to do when itâs over.â
You still avoid eye contact, can you really just feel okay if someone tells you? Thatâs never worked for you.
A floating lantern symbolizes the hope of the moments ahead and being able to move on. To mark the start of a new beginning. Your eyes flicker to all the children with their family, smiling happily, the couples who are cuddling together as they prepare to let go of their lanterns. Every time you saw something like that, you thought of Cairo. You wondered if she ever thought of you.
I guess fate brought me here, you tell yourself. When your favorite person turns into a memory of a lesson. Gosh, you hated when you saw quotes like that, even worse now that you understood it with each tear that poured out of your eyes.
You cling onto the lantern like itâs the most important thing of your life as you shut your eyes. You think about Cairo, your best friend, someone that you always told yourself loved you. You hope she still did. Winnie feels your head placed on your shoulder as you finally let it go. Finally let her go as it flies away with the specks of others, lighting up the night sky. It was like a reminder that she was slipping away.
Tonight, you thought it wouldâve ended differently as you watch it mix in with the glow of other lanterns, other wishes, other endings.
All those times you look into these eyes, even the ones that arenât hers, you remember that her eyes that once admired you are gone. Youâre watching her watching him.
Youâre standing here, waiting for something that you knew for a long time might never come. Loveâs a game of heartbreak. The latest you could do is slump down to the blanket and toss your body into Winnieâs, closing your eyelids and letting yourself relax. It was cold, yet you didn't bother to ask for a blanket.
âY/N, baby. We gotta get going.â A voice, soft and sweet coaxes you awake. You're no longer on Winnieâs shoulder, but a lap that you know all too well. You scramble off of Cairo with your eyes wide, blinking, adjusting, before letting yourself cry.
Cairo hasnât seen you cry in almost ages. Well youâve never cried in front of her, but knowing that she stood you up again, arriving almost 3 hours later, it tells her a lot of how much you did when she wasnât there.Â
Her eyes look at yours that are closed, sniffle, âHey, donât cry. Why are you crying? Iâm so sorry I missed this-â
âYouâre never sorry!â You hiccup, forcing your shut eyes open, âIf you were in all the times past, you wouldnât have left me here again! I had my mom drive me 2 hours just so I could picture myself wishing you were beside me!âÂ
âI-â
When was the last time she made you feel like she actually loved you?
âIt seems like you donât need me anymore, Cairo. You find something else to obsess over and run away when I need you.â
âI do need you,â she argues, looking at you in disbelief. Yet you can see that a part of her knows that youâre right.
âOnly when Mr. Miller isnât here to make you feel good.â
âT-thatâs not true!â She stammers, âYou arenât understanding what youâre saying-â
âI always want you when I'm finally fine, Cairo! Thatâs the problem with you! I canât stop crawling my way back to you because my heart canât beat without your reassurance, even if itâs just a sweet glance. But every time Iâm standing here, youâre turning me away. And the only way for me to stop loving you is when Iâm here, telling you how Iâve felt every single time youâve left me in the dark for the attention of a 50 year old man that Iâve given you since the start! Iâm not some toy that you need at moments- I-I needed you too.â You murmur, looking down, ashamed with the hot tears leaking out of your eyes.
It takes Cairo a moment to pull you back onto her, âIâm sorry,â she tries, her hand around your cheek. âI just.. I didnât⊠He failed me on that final and I just needed to know why and I guess-â
âItâs okay,â you say, finally looking into her eyes while you put your hand away from your face. âI tried thinking that maybe it was that final for Miller, that you needed time to write something amazing for your final, like I knew youâd always do. But instead, you made your assignment obsessing over him.âÂ
Gosh you felt so stupid looking back at your naive self. âTo see him in the hallways and talking to him while I stood there waiting for you, forgetting that I was even here in the first place.â
Cairoâs silent, eyes pleading as she tries reaching out for your hand, but you pull away. âIâm done waiting for you Cairo. Maybe you can pursue focusing on him more and donât have to worry about focusing on me.â You bite back a shiver, your body shaking slightly.
She watches you turn away as Winnie wraps you in a blanket. Disappointment flickers in her best friendâs eyes as she helps you walk away. Cairo wishes, oh so terribly that you would turn back, to look at one more time, but you donât.
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down.
You stop for a brief moment, about to hop into Winnieâs car, before turning to her, looking down at her shoes. âIâm sorry I wasnât enough, Cairo. I love you.â
âI love you too.â
âIâm sorry it ended like this, I never met to hurt you.â She wants to say, but bites her tongue as your body slips away from sight, Winnie starting the engine. It was too late now.
Cairo made you wait, made you see a flicker of hope in her candle and she blew it. She made you wait in the cold.
-
She really wrote her story on your heart. But was it ever a good one? Maybe there were some that lingered freely in your heart, but her story wouldâve never lasted like you wanted.
It was rare, she almost never saw you sitting on the same first bench. There were days where she immediately ran out of Mr. Millerâs classroom to push through the students just to go to that bench, to be reminded that you werenât there to wait anymore. There was no one to wait for her anymore. The spot was always empty.
Youâll always want her when you are finally fine, even when youâd feel like your heart healed, it never would. Because you always needed her. You canât heal without her.
Now every time your eyes meet in the hallways, youâre the first one to tear your gaze. Maybe it was just for the best. Tear your eyes away from her pretty ones before she tears your heart apart.
You wish that one day, when you meet her when you two are older, sheâll be the person you once knew. Your Cairo Sweet. The one that didnât leave the sickening taste on your tongue.
#Spotify#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem!reader#cairo sweet x reader#cairo sweet x y/n#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x reader#cairo sweet#vada cavell x reader#vada cavell x you#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega#jenna ortega imagine
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ROMAN HOLIDAY
PAIRING: jake x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, slight fluff, protected and unprotected sex, (donât be silly, wrap your willy!), cunnilingus, marking, creampie, mentions of petnames (princess, baby, darling, daddy), lots of kissing and brief mentions of smoking, stealing, running away from cops, drugs, somnophilia (consensual), etc.
WC: 10k words
SYNOPSIS: visiting your grandmaâs place was more or less your entire plan for your summer vacations and only break you get before your university starts, although, meeting your neighbour, bickering with him and clutching his hand while running away from cops wasnât in your bucket list.
PLAYLIST: welcome to wonderland by anson seabra, movement by hozier, if you let me by alina baraz, how to love by jen z, roman holiday by halsey.
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
A/N: hihi, my sweetest angels <3 i'm finally here with a jake fic which was long due! i hope you guys like it <33 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated :D loveyou all <3
Bagging a window seat for a day-long journey sure is a blessing, peculiarly when you have to stay sitting at your spot in a train for a sum of six hours. Nestled in your seat, you sit straighter when the scenic view of the sea water meeting the sky graces your eyesâwhich you capture on your phoneâs camera with a soft smile.Â
It felt as if it had been ages since you got out of your room, where you used to be cooped up during the entirety of your day, studying for your final year of school.Â
Your parents were concerned. They were highly proud of you for achieving top honours, yes, but it was about time you went out and cherished your life a little before you got winded up in the stress of University yet again, which was to start in one month.Â
And whatâs a better place to spend your vacations at if not at your grannyâs home?Â
It was a few minutes past six when you finally reached your desired destination, dragging your luggage behind you as a swish of cold breeze hit you. It looked straight out of a movie with how the train station was lit up by old-fashioned lamps which radiated warmth just by glancing towards them. Â
You hugged your cardigan tighter, walking out to find the taxi stand just outside the exit area of the station, pulling out your phone to show the driver the address youâd be meaning to go to. He was a kind man, helping you put your luggage into the trunk of his taxi. Your curious eyes looked out, observing how much the town had changed over the years.Â
You were seven when you last visited her hometown. Ever since then, your grandma used to be the one who visited you in the city, at your place, however she did not wish to leave her town and move in with your family. You could see why she chose to stay hereâthe serene view, the freshness in the air, the tranquil surroundings, it made the corner of your lips curl up into a smile.Â
It only got wider once the driver stopped his taxi in front of your grandmaâs house. It was exactly how you had remembered it to beâa small but two story house with a big veranda which was lit up by fairy lights on the big bushes. The back door connected the path towards the small pool and then yet another door linked the beach from your backyard.Â
Your grandma stood by the door with the fondest smile gracing her ever so beautiful face, a few grey strands fell on her face and you couldnât help but get out of the taxi and run towards her, capturing her in an embrace. A hearty chuckle filled the air, the scent of your favourite cookies encapsulated you, making you wonder if she had baked a batch just for you as you snuggled further, her hand patting your head exactly the way she used to do ever since you were a kid.Â
âI missed you, grandma.â Your expression said it all, and she looked more than happy to usher you in the house, saying how chilly the night was and you made sure to pay the driver, thanking him for his service as you dragged the luggage in.Â
A wave of nostalgia hit you as your eyes wandered off to observe each corner, but your grandma didnât hear any of it, making sure her granddaughter was well fed and rested after the long journey.Â
She spent a good while telling you embarrassing stories of your father during dinner, which you listened to with delight, sharing your own stories with zeal before you climbed up the stairs, opening the door to the room you used to use each time you stayed over as a child.Â
It didnât change, the bed was still too big for you, the windows were spotless as if it had been cleaned frequently and the scent of old books paired with a tinge of vanilla filled your senses. Your body felt calm and you couldnât remember the last time you had felt this way.Â
Calling your parents, you updated them by telling you had reached safely as you walked in the balcony, feeling comfortable in a sweatshirt and cotton shorts. The night sky resembled a velvet blanket full of glistening stars.Â
However, a figure clad in all black captured your attention. It was a bit beyond one in the morning, which is why it was unsettling to see someone walk in such dim lights. The stranger made his way towards your neighbouring house, making you wonder if he lived there.Â
Shrugging, you sighed. Sitting at one place for hours does tire your body, so you proceed to finally get into your cozy bed, setting an alarm before your grandma comes in to check if you require anything.Â
âSweet dreams my little peanut,â your grandma smiled, closing the door behind you as you replied back with a gentle voice.Â
âSweet dreams, Gigi!â It was a nickname you used for her, she found it lovely.Â
The placid atmosphere and the distant sound of waves acted as a catalyst to your sleep, and you slept soundly, not knowing that the calmness was just a start to your inevitable ventureâsomething no one could have prepared you for.Â
You found yourself walking alongside your Gigi to visit the lady next door in the afternoon. She was a kind soulâas stated by your grandma, not to mention that she treated her like her own family, making sure to provide help whenever she could and thatâs the reason why you were going to meet her.Â
It wasnât the first time; apparently you used to play in their veranda a lot as a child, which again, you didnât remember. However, when the ladyâMrs. Sim, opened the door, the memories came rushing back to you. She was jolly, almost as if she was waiting for your arrival and soon, you were engulfed into a sweet hug.Â
She called out your name in sheer excitement, leaning back to take a good look at your face, which sported a silly smile due to embarrassment.Â
âAw, love. Youâve grown into such a pretty young lady,â she gushed, ushering you both inside and into the living room area.Â
âAnd you donât look a day over twenty, Mrs. Sim,â you replied, not lying considering how youthful she appeared to be.Â
Her smile only widened at your comment, ânow, another word and Iâll be floating in the clouds,â she said, making you chuckle as you got engaged in a conversation, sipping on the cranberry juice which Mrs. Sim had so kindly offered you.Â
It was decided that youâd be having lunch together, and you tried your best to help the two women in the kitchen but you were soon shoved out, saying you donât have to do a thing and restâthatâs the purpose of your vacations.Â
Which made you sit down and use your phone, scrolling through random apps and replying to all the texts.Â
âY/n!â Soon, you were called into the kitchen, and you poked your head in with a smile.Â
âYes, Gigi?âÂ
âOh, peanut, can you please go upstairs and call Jake for lunch? Itâs almost done.â She asked.Â
You tilted your head in confusion, mind wandering back to the guy you had seen last night and you came to the conclusion that Jake might be Mrs. Simâs son.Â
You nodded, heading up the wooden staircase. Would you have to introduce yourself to him? Would it get awkward? You had no clue.Â
Knocking on the door twice, you took a step back and patiently waited for the door to open and so, you tried again to no avail. You wondered if he had his headphones on, which left you with no choice but to open the door, peeking in slightly only to find the room empty.Â
âOh,â you let out, closing the door behind you for the sake of privacy.Â
âHeâs not in his room,â you informed Mrs. Sim.Â
She sighed, serving a good portion of food for all of you, âI could have sworn he didnât go out,â she shook her head as you three sat down. You let the elders start eating first and only then you picked up your chopsticks to do the same.Â
âI havenât seen him in a while, whatâs the tough guy up to?â Your Gigi asked.Â
âHeâs busy enrolling himself into universities,â Mrs. Sim says, a sad smile taking over her face, âhe says he doesnât want to leave me and is aiming for nearby universities.âÂ
âMy my, isnât he a darling boy?â Your grandma praised while you chewed on your food, which melted right in your mouth, silently eating while hearing them converse.Â
It didnât take long for your grandma to ask them to come over for dinner the very next day, âitâs only fair that I cook for you too,â she argued when Mrs. Sim told her that she shouldnât bother.Â
This time, your grandma let you help with the cooking, and of course, you were sent to invite the Sims over for dinner. You hugged your white cardigan close to your bodyâthe nights tend to get chilly. Walking over to the neighbouring home, you rang the bell and were greeted with the sight of Mrs. Sim, who actually dressed up for the little dinner party.Â
âOh, darling. Can you please call Jake down for dinner too?â She asked you as she was busy tidying up her own kitchen.Â
âOf course,â you smiled.Â
It was the second time you were heading up the stairs. This time, you were sure youâd be meeting the said boy. You found yourself standing right in front of his room yet again, gulping down your nervousness. It wasnât as if you werenât used to introducing yourself to new people, school made sure you knew how to do that, however, your nerves were acting up.Â
With a deep breath, you knocked on the door, twiceâjust like the last time. The difference, however, was that the door was opened in this instance.Â
The scent of an intoxicating blend of masculinity and sophistication announced his presence, undertones of musk and wood laced up, providing him a complex aura altogether.Â
A tall guy with parted black hair leaned against the doorframe, eyebrow perfectly raised in question, his arms folded as his honey brown eyes with the slightest speckles of gold stared your way, his plump lips soon curling up into what seemed to be an assortment of a smile and a smirk.Â
âYou must be Y/n,â he stated, standing up straight, which caused his muscles to flex enough to the point it was visible in his white button up.Â
You licked your lips unknowingly, moistening them up before you nodded, extending your hand for him to shake, âpleasure meeting you, Jake.âÂ
His eyes travelled down from your face to your hand, a low chuckle left his mouth, him opening the door and stepping out, coming closer to you as he grabbed your smaller hand in his bigger, warmer ones in a firm handshake.Â
âI can see why my mom canât stop talking about you,â he said, making you tilt your head in question, eyes never leaving his face which was captivating.Â
âAnd why is that so?â You asked, stepping back slightly as he leaned in to whisper in your ear.Â
âBecause you seem to be a good girl,â he breathed, making you go still as he leaned back with the same smirk, leaving you behind, walking down the stairs.Â
Now, you didnât expect the situation to turn out this way, yet you knew that talking to him further would only cause your head to hurt.Â
What even made him think about you being a good girl?
Is it your outfit? Plain, loose jeans paired with a pink top and cardigan. Itâs basic enough not to be categorized so easily.Â
You scoff to yourself, already hating the situation as you walk downstairs, only to find Jake with a smile that genuinely looked sweet while he talked to his mother, helping her lock the door.Â
âI see you met Jaeyun,â she smiled, and you nodded, sitting alongside her, not sparing a glance at the said boy as you didnât even know his real name was Jaeyun.Â
The table was set for four, which made you sit right across from Jake, whoâs demeanour had changed as he complimented your granny, who laughed at his sweetness.Â
âHere, have some more,â he says, serving another portion to your grandma, who cooed at his kind conduct at the table.Â
He made sure to be on his best behaviour, only in front of others but when his gaze fell towards you, a bored expression overtook his features, which no one paid attention to.Â
You rolled your eyes. It hadnât even been a whole day since you met and yet the boy made you dread his presence. He wasnât being straight up rude per se, however his actions werenât subtle either just like how he completely ignored your existence during the entirety of the dinner.Â
He offered to clean up, which included him having to clean up your plate as well, which was something he did with a frown on his face as Mrs. Sim endorsed that he should help with the household work.Â
Both ladies were in awe of how well mannered Jake was, and it left you irritated to no end before Mrs. Sim called out your name softly.Â
âJakeâs been acting distant lately,â she told you in a soft voice, making sure the said boy doesnât hear you both, âand comes home late from his part time work, doesnât share a lot these days too,â she sighs before looking at you softly, âyouâre such a lovely girl, Y/n. Iâm sure Jaeyun would love to have you as a friend he can rely on. Will you please look after him?â She asked, eyes sincere with worry for her son.Â
Now, you were provided with two choicesâone to say yes and agree, but youâd have to be in Jakeâs proximity for that. The second one would be a plain no, which would sound disrespectful and insolent.Â
So you put on your most convincing smile, which turned into an unadulterated one when you saw her being concerned about her son, âof course, Iâll do that, Mrs. Sim.â
âOh please! Call me auntie,â she swatted her hand at your formal usage of name and you laughed, agreeing.Â
Since the dinner was summed up now and the dishes were done, courtesy of Jaeyun; you were asked to walk them back home, which wasnât even a two minute walk, however you couldnât say no to your grandma and hence, you agreed.Â
Mrs. Simâor your auntie Sim, thanked you for the dinner, and proposed to at least have one meal of the day together each day, which you thought was a lovely idea given that you had grown to like the lady.Â
You were just about to leave when she went inside but a firm grip on your wrist stopped you right away, making you look up at Jake in question.Â
âYou donât have to bother being my friend, youâll only be a hindrance in my way,â he says smoothly.Â
Your expression turns sour, almost as if you were bored, âwhy? So you can keep your fake good boy persona up and going?â You said, mimicking his tone.Â
Not expecting such a reply, he let out a surprised scoff, mixed with the slightest chuckle, âso what? It doesnât concern you. Or are you offended that Iâm not actually good, like you,â he whispered, leaning close, which made you realize how tall he actually was, âyou know nothing about me, princess.â
The nickname rolled off his tongue seamlessly, sending a shiver down your spine while you kept a straight face, trying not to seem affected at all.Â
âNeither do you know about me, Sim. So stop making assumptions and just because Iâm nice doesnât mean Iâll take your bullshit.â You rolled your eyes, saying it all in one go before turning around to leave.Â
âYou should be scared of me,â he chuckles behind you.Â
âIn your dreams,â you retorted, not sparing him another glance as your heart palpitated.Â
You had never talked to anyone in such a manner before, it gave a sense of newfound confidenceâwhich you needed.
Jake simply watched you walk back to your place, shaking his head once you disappeared from his eyesight and still, a humorous smile never left his face.Â
You had updated your parents about your three days here and later called your friend to do the same, who was also busy with her own vacation bucket list, yet it was a refreshing talk given that you currently did not have much to do to entertain yourself.Â
Which left you to grab your swimwear and go for a swimâutilizing the pool in your backyard.Â
Gigi loved to sit by the pool and made sure that it was cleaned every now and then. She had gotten it cleaned right in the morning today, which also gives you an opportunity to use it.Â
The sunset casted a warm glow on the calm waves of the pool, the slight breeze in the air making it serene as you immerse yourself in the water, it closing you right in, feeling like a warm hug.Â
You started slowly with effortless strokes, enjoying the feeling of lukewarm water on your body. You stopped after a while, resting as you let your body float with your eyes closed.Â
âEnjoying ourselves, are we now?â A voice broke your state of tranquillity, your eyes opening in a swift and the water sloshed with how fast you turned around.Â
Of course, it was none other than Jake sim who sat on the pool lounge chair, arms behind his back as if he was sitting to enjoy the view.Â
âThe fuck are you doing here?â You breathed out in question.Â
He looked at you, feigning disappointment as he leaned to look down at you, âoh, princess. Didnât they teach you not to use such filthy words?â
His condescending tone only riled you up, âdidnât they teach you not to show up at someoneâs place unannounced?â You mocked, getting out of the pool and trying to find your towel, only for you to realize he was sitting right on it.Â
âIâm simply here to get cumin from your grandma, we ran out of it, you see,â he explained, not sounding sincere as he let his eyes wander all over your wet body, barely covered with your bikini.Â
Your eyes, however, focused on the cigarette he took out from his pocket, making you gasp as you made your way towards him in an attempt to snatch it off his fingers. Â
Nevertheless, Jake was quicker to get up, grabbing your hand which was extended and pinning it up against the wall, his body pressed up against yours, successfully making your body go still with shock.Â
Yeah, you didnât really adore your bodyâs fight or flight response.Â
âFuckââ your eyes widened, yet he wasnât the one to give you even a second to complain.Â
âShh, princess. I donât want a single bad word coming out of your mouth now, is that understood?â He asked, using his condenscending tone again.Â
You could feel every ounce of confidence which you had yesterday leaving your body as you stared into his honey eyes, an unconscious slight nod betraying you. Â
That satisfied him, although he didnât bother changing his position, nor did he mind your wet body as he took out a lighter from his free hand, lighting up the flame, keeping it close to the cigarette which was pressed in between his lips.Â
Your eyes were transfixed on his face, observing how swiftly he closed the lighter, stuffing it in his pocket right before he looked away, blowing smoke into the air, giving you the greatest opportunity to stare at his consummate side profile.Â
He took the joint back in his fingers, returning his attention your way, âever smoked before?â He asked, tone seemingly raspier.Â
Not trusting your voice, you simply shook your head as to provide him an answer.Â
He snickered, âof course you havenât. It goes against your good girl rulebook, doesnât it?âÂ
âShut up!â Your sudden outburst of anger only humoured him, even more so when you tried to snatch the cigarette from him using your free hand to prove him wrong.Â
He didnât let it happen.Â
Instead, you found yourself looking right into his eyes with his slender fingers holding your chin in place. His breath was cool with a lingering smell of mintâwhich was probably due to the flavour of cigarette.Â
âWant it that bad now?â He raised his brows, âopen your mouth,â he ordered, not giving you a second to comply, his thumb parting your lips as he desired.Â
He took a drag, inhaling the smoke deeply as you gulped, you could hear your heartbeat, or maybe that was simply how aware you were of your surroundingsâyour proximity with Jake.Â
Tilting his head, he leaned in again, mouth parted just the right amount. He let the smoke out and into your mouth in an agonizingly slow fashion, his lips on the verge of touching yours.Â
Your subconscious took over once you inhaled the smoke and it hit your throat. The burning sensation caused you to push him off as you coughed out in distress.Â
âGuess you canât handle it, princess,â he clicked his tongue in disappointment.Â
You glared his way, composing yourself enough to actually snatch the cigarette from his fingers and take a deep puff, ignoring the way it burned your throat. It was your turn to surprise him by pulling him closer, grabbing his collar.Â
Your eyes were closed when you leaned in, blowing the smoke right into his mouth, causing him to take it all in, him never once closing his eyes. He stared at you with such intensity that you could feel it, despite your eyes being closed.Â
Once you were done, you breathed deeply, throwing the cigarette on the ground, âdonât get ahead of yourself, Sim,â thatâs all you said before walking back into your home, rushing up the stairs and into your room just to avoid running into him again.Â
Only when you were in the safety of your room, you let out a frustrated scream right into your pillow.Â
Three days in your vacation and this boy had already driven you insane to the point you had smoked right into his mouth.Â
You took a warm shower before taking a napâsomething you required to calm your heart before you saw him at dinner, again.Â
In contrast to yesterday, when he didnât provide you with an ounce of attention, his behaviour had done a solid one eighty as now, he provided you with his utmost attention, passing you subtle smirks during the entirety of the dinner.Â
You were more than glad when auntie Sim distracted you by indulging in random conversations, and you can easily say you enjoyed the information she was providing you with at the given moment.Â
âAnd, and!â Auntie Sim said full of excitement, âOur Jaeyunie was four and you were three when it happened. He was so curious about you playing on the beach building sandcastles alone, he wanted to talk to you and so he collected flowers from our garden and gave them to you,â she cooed.Â
You looked at the boy, surprised with the information of him being a sweet baby. Now, he was the one who tried to stop his mother from spilling the stories any further, averting his gaze but you didnât let it go.Â
âAw! Thatâs so cute Jaeyunie. Where are my flowers now?â You asked, voice annoyingly high to bother him.Â
Your grandma laughed as auntie Sim only urged Jake to get some for you. He looked your way, annoyed and you only passed him a sweet smile.Â
You couldnât deny, being a menace did feel good at times and the dinner wasnât so bad after all.Â
Yet, the events of the evening didnât let you sleep, causing you to walk on the balcony yet again and you couldnât miss the figure clad in all black leaving your neighbourâs home yet again, at two after midnight nonetheless.Â
It wasnât something you should be indulging in yet you couldnât help but wonder.
What exactly was Jake up to?Â
In these ten days of vacation, you had done quite a few things which included learning a few recipes with your grandma, bickering with your neighbour, minus the proximity as you made your mission to stay away for the sake of your poor heart. Majorly, you had grown to adore the beautiful beach which was right behind your home.Â
Seeing how you had nothing to do in the given moment, you found yourself sitting on the warmth of the sand yet again, close enough for your feet to touch the water which was cold, juxtaposing the temperature of your body. Â
You didnât know how long you sat there dazed, watching the never ending blue waves stretching as far as possible, till you gasped and got taken back into reality once a hand on your shoulder shook you in annoyance.Â
It was none other than Jake, who stood there with his jaw clenched, a bouquet of flowers resting in his right hand, causing you to raise your brows at him.Â
âMom forced me to do this, okay?â He huffed, handing you over the multicoloured bundle of happiness.Â
It didnât matter that it was Jake who gave you the flowers, it still made you happy, a smile growing on your face as the scent infiltrated your senses.Â
This certainly wasnât the kind of reaction Jake was expecting from you. He was sure youâd throw a snarky remark or maybe simply not take the flowers from him, but even you couldnât deny the beauty of nature.Â
âThank you,â you whispered under your breath, surprising him even more.Â
It was one of the days you felt calm, not wanting to channelize your energy into something as useless as picking up a fight, however, Jake wonât leave without that happening.Â
âThatâs it? You just need flowers to shut up?â He tantalizes you to answer back.Â
You only give him a sour look in return, wondering what heâs even doing on the beach wearing shoes, clad in leather jacket as if he was going for the clichĂ© illegal races you see in movies.Â
âYou should go, Jaeyunie,â you nodded with a fake smile.Â
Your phone started ringing just then, and Jake caught the display name right before you picked up the call.Â
It was Lee Heeseungâthe guy who was your study partner in school and also the guy who was your competition when it came to academics.Â
The call wasnât long, he had simply contacted you to inform you about the university he got into as you also filled him up with the university you got accepted into.Â
You assumed that Jake would have gone back, which wasnât the case as he stood behind you, eavesdropping shamelessly. His expression turned into one of realization when he saw you actually smiling and talking sweetly to whoever was the guy who had called you, a scoff leaving his mouth on its own accord.Â
âYeah! Yeah, of course. Will text you later, goodbye!â You smiled, concluding the conversation only to find Jake still standing at the same spot, making you look at him in question.Â
âDidnât know you had a boyfriend,â he said, seeming bored.Â
A sigh left your mouth, Jake was great at making assumptions, âwhy do you care?â You asked.Â
âI donât,â he replied, not missing a beat, âI should go, I have work to do,â he said, walking back to his place.Â
Your lips worked before you could process anything, âyeah? Like you do every night?â You asked.Â
He stilled, turning back in a second and crouching down to your level, grabbing your nape, pulling you close to him, âdonât get involved in my matters, Y/n. Iâm saying this for your own fucking good,â he seethed out, causing you to gulp, your heartbeat rising up due to the proximity again.Â
âWhat are you up to, Jakey?â You asked teasingly, trying to diffuse the tension.Â
âNothing that concerns you, princess. Iâm being serious, okay?â He held eye contact, repeating the last word again, and you nodded.Â
âOkay,â you mumbled as you felt him caressing your nape gently before he got up, leaving you there wordlessly.Â
You didnât realize how hard you were clutching the flowers while watching his walking figure. The sudden mood switch made you curious, and despite him warning you, it was something you wanted to see for yourself.Â
Was he in trouble? Was he caught up in illegal activities? Or was he simply out partying somewhere?
Another sigh left your lips.Â
You shouldnât get involved in his matters.Â
You got yourself involved in his matters.Â
Sneaking out of your home was easy and you made sure to grab your jacket as the night got chillier than usual. All this to follow Jake.Â
It was easy since he didnât use any cars, walking towards his desired destination. It almost felt comical how you tried to tiptoe for a total of fifteen minutes, hiding in random alleyways whenever you made even the slightest noise of stepping on a pebble.Â
For a second you even regretted coming out and spending so much energy on this, till you saw Jake actually stop and get inside an alleyway, which you approached exactly two minutes after he went in.Â
Peeking in, you noticed how wide the way actually was, people clad in black and hoodies which hid their faces were present all over, more than thirty people youâd estimate.Â
You squint your eyes to get a better focus of what they were up to, only for them to widen in realization when you found them exchanging packets and smoking what looked like drugs. Jake was also engaged in a conversation with a guy, purchasing drugs from him, which caused you to gasp slowly.Â
âLooking for something, kid?â A deep, hoarse voice spoke near your ear, causing you to flinch and move away, turning around to see a guy full of tattoos smiling down at you, which disgusted you.Â
âFuck,â you muttered under your breath, looking towards your right to see Jake looking your way, eyes full of shock and worry as he whispered your name under his breath, not believing that youâd actually follow him there despite him saying a firm no to you.Â
Maybe he was right, maybe you shouldnât have come here.Â
âUhm, IâI lost my way back home. Iâll get going now, I didnât see anything I promise! You guys please continue,â you said, trying to sprint but the guy was quick to hold your jacket, making you stop as Jake rushed your way, leaving whatever he was up to.Â
Before anyone could take up any action, the sound of police sirens alerted everyone in the vicinity, which was more than enough for all the guys to scramble as you stood there with panic, trying to move your body seeing how the guys were climbing up the wall full of graffiti on the other side as it was the only way to their escapade.Â
âRun,â Jake breathed out, grabbing your smaller hand in his without any notice and running towards the same way, his jaw was clenched.Â
You followed wordlessly, mouth open with how deeply you were breathing, chest heaving up and down while you ran and reached the wall.Â
The sirens got closer as if someone had tipped the cops to search this particular area and you were worried if you both would get caught up in this mess.Â
âJump,â he commanded and you stared at the wall, shaking your head.Â
âIâI canât,â you stuttered, watching how the others claimed itÂ
He pulled you closer, picking you up with ease as to provide you with some kind of elevation, which definitely helped when you grabbed on to the top brick, pushing your body up and jumping to the other side, stumbling slighting as you fell down.Â
Jake was swift, landing by your side before he grabbed your hand again, pulling you up with him to run again. Your legs hurt yet you didnât stop till he pulled you by his side, getting a bobby pin out of his pocket to unlock the door, which he opened in a go and pulled you inside, locking the door.Â
Silence.Â
Your breathing is all you could hear, but Jakeâs eyes were louder than anything else, which scared you even further.Â
âI specifically told you to stay out of it, whatâs so hard to understand here?â He more or less shouted, pushing you against the wall.Â
You gulped, not looking at his face but he wasnât having it, he grabbed your chin and forced you to look his way.Â
âWhat if they did something to you? What if the police caught you? What if something had happened to you?â His voice got smaller after each sentence, more breathy and desperate, making your heart break when he genuinely made it seem like he cared about you.Â
âIâm sorry,â you muttered, which probably wasnât helpful at the given second, âI thought that you were in trouble and,â you whispered, not having more to say.Â
He sighed, resting his forehead on yours as his eyes closed to get some rest. You couldnât move, your whole body felt more alive than ever, maybe it was the adrenaline rush, or simply Jake being so close to you.Â
He stepped back after a few seconds, âgo change,â he said, and thatâs when you looked around to find yourself in a boutique full of clothes.Â
âWâwhy?â You asked.Â
âBecause the cop saw us, he knows what weâre wearing,â he answered, trying to find clothes his size.Â
Maybe he saw you when you were climbing up, meaning that you barely escaped him.Â
âBut surveillance cameras? Technically, wonât this be considered stealing?â You bit your lip.Â
âThere are none,â he replied, âand we have more pressing matters than to sit and worry about stealing.â
You nodded even though he wasnât looking your way, trying to find some outfit, or rather, you were stealing it given the circumstances.Â
âSo, why were you out there?âÂ
âI should be asking you that, Y/n,â he said when you went into the changing room.Â
âYou had drugs with you!â Your voice boomed from the stall and he simply took off his shirt in the store.Â
âSo what?â He uttered, pissed.Â
âDid you smoke drugs that day too? Did you give me drugs?â You screeched while asking and he opened the curtains, seeing you soothing the top down.Â
âI donât fucking do drugs,â he groaned, âI buy it and sell it to the guys next town at a higher price,â he explained.Â
The dim light from the changing stall only enhanced Jakeâs shirtless body, his abs full on display alongside his torso, which was well built. Your eyes settled on the tattoo he had on his left side of the rib.Â
Taking a step further, your fingers gently traced the intricate design, making him shiver without you knowing, his fingers clasping around your wrist to keep it away again.Â
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â He whispered.Â
âIââ you started speaking, looking at him with wide eyes which shone of innocence and worry, lips jutted in the slightest pout and hair slightly messy.Â
âYouâre driving me crazy,â he breathes out, not letting you complete your sentence, coming closer to your face, âwhy do you have to do everything I tell you not to do?â He asked, however his tone wasnât filled with anger.Â
It was something you quite couldnât pinpoint yourself.Â
He sighed, âletâs get you home.â
âAre we gonna walk back? Isnât it too dangerous?â You asked as he turned around to put on a shirt averting your eyes from his back which flexed with his movements, your body felt warm and throat parched, especially when he turned around with a smirk.Â
âWeâre driving back home.â
You soon found yourself on a lookout at the garage entrance of what Jake called an illegal garage which was used for repairing old racing cars. The place wasnât authorized, which is why stealing from here would work perfectly.Â
âHow do you even know this?â You asked, exasperated as your nerves got the best of you.Â
It certainly didnât help that the place was dark, and Jake wasnât replying as he was hot wiring the car without a number plateÂ
You had no idea where he learned that from.Â
âYou need to learn things if you want to survive in this world, darling,â he said, focusing on his work, not once thinking how youâd shiver with his use of nicknames.Â
Heâs glad itâs not some new high tech car, which he wonât be able to hot wire as they contain ignition immobilizers, which makes it impossible for it to happenâyou nodded as he explained all of this, your focus elsewhere.Â
âLetâs go,â he said after a few minutes, seemingly done with his work.Â
You rushed to get into the car, a scream leaving your mouth as he started driving almost instantly, his fingers gripping the steering wheels hard enough for his veins to pop out as you struggled to put on the seatbelt.Â
âI canât believe this is actually happening,â you let out in half a scream.Â
âWhy? Not having fun now, princess?â He chuckled as he changed the gear, resting his hand on your thighs right after which caused you to squirm around in your seat.Â
Your body was extra attentive when he was around, and you werenât sure how to control your heart anymore, so you closed your eyes.Â
âWhatâs so fun about this?â You asked, clutching the seatbelt.Â
âYou,â he confessed, messing up with your brain even further.Â
âI hate you,â you mumbled, looking elsewhere.Â
You didnât trust his driving despite it seeming effortless, he was over speeding after all.Â
âNow, we both know thatâs not true, princess,â he stated and you huffed, knowing that he was right ignoring the fact that he was insufferable.Â
His pace ensured you to reach home in record time, your legs felt wobbly the second you stepped on the road.Â
âStay here, Iâll be back in a second,â he rushed, leaving you standing alone as he parked the car outside a random garage two minutes away from your place.Â
It was hard to believe how you got chased by police, stole clothes and a fully functional car all in one night.Â
You saw him jogging back to you after a few minutes, standing right in front of you, âI think I should get back now,â you started to stay, however he stopped you.Â
âYou canât do that, your gateâs got a surveillance camera so we need to go from the back side,â he stated, his hand automatically reaching for yours as you started to make way towards the back side, on the sand.Â
All of a sudden, you felt smaller, heat creeping up your neck due to the body contact and you let him guide you wordlessly before you realized something.Â
âWait, how will you go back? Your place doesnât have a back door,â you asked and he shrugged.Â
âIâll just jump to the other side of the garden wall, princess. You donât need to worry about me,â he teased and you pushed him away, the warmth of his hand leaving yours.Â
Tiptoeing into your home, you shut the back door as silently as possible before you rushed up the stairs and almost into your room, only to find Jake coming up with you.Â
âWhat are you doing?â You whisper asked, eyes wide.Â
âIâm curious about your room,â he answered with that usual smirk of his and you wanted nothing more than to slap it off his face.Â
âYouââ you tried to say, but stopped the second you heard another voice.Â
âOh, Peanut? Youâre awake?â Your grandmaâs voice called out from the balcony, and your mouth hung open as you shoved Jake into your room in an effort to hide him.Â
âYâyes, Gigi! I woke up to get some water,â you lied, wincing slightly as she acknowledged it and wished you a good night in her soft tone.Â
You rushed in and locked the door, only to find Jake getting cozy in your bed.Â
It was one of those days when your grandma missed your grandpa, and she spent hours on the balcony, looking at the glistening stars to find solace. You felt sad but the more pressing matter here wasâhow to get Jake out of your room?Â
He canât leave from the back door, he canât go out from the front door as Gigi would see him, your room windows werenât the opening type which left you with no option but for him to spend the night right here, with you.Â
âNow what?â You asked, hand on your forehead while you paced around the room.Â
âWhat? We sleep together, of course.â He had a cheeky smile on his face.Â
âAre you crazy?â You almost screamed, but you didnât wanna alert your grandma, which made you repeat it in a hushed tone.
âWhy? Too scared to sleep with me? Youâre the reason weâre in this situation, princess,â he smirked.Â
You sighed. He was right about that part but you werenât willing to sleep with him, so you proceeded to ignore him as you went into the bathroom to change into your comfortable clothes for the night.Â
Jake simply patted the bed when you came out, silently asking you to sit next to him, and suddenly you realized that youâre locked up in a room with him, which didnât help your nerves as you sat down with him.Â
Somehow everything was rebellious against your rules when it concerned Sim Jaeyun.Â
âCanât you sleep on the floor?â You almost whined.Â
He cocked his brow, âis that what I get after helping you escape?â
âThatâs not itââ
âSo? Is it the boyfriend?â
âI donât have anyââ
âThe guy you were talking to in the morning.â
âHeâs a friendââ
âThen thereâs no problem, right?â he rasped.Â
You didnât realize your lip was bitten till his thumb brushed against your bottom lip, tugging on it gently to free it, caressing it while looking into your eyes.Â
âRight?â He repeated.Â
âYeah,â you breathed, nodding ever so slightly.Â
âAtta girl,â he chuckled, flustering you as you tried to look away, which wasnât something Jake allowed, his fingers gripping your chin now, âgod, you look so fucking innocent.â
âIâm not!â You argued.Â
âYeah? Have you been kissed before, princess?â He asks, amused.Â
His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine, to the point you almost whimpered out loud, but you were glad you didnât, âno. But that doesnât mean I havenât fucked anyone before.â You confessed, eyes on his plump lips.Â
âOh? Whoâs the loser who fucked you without even kissing your prettiest lips?â He asked, frustrated that someone even dared to touch you, even though his words said otherwise.Â
You gulped, âwe were drunk,â you whispered, remembering your graduation party and how the guy had failed to please you.Â
âDid he make you feel good?â Jake asked, expression serious.Â
âWhat?â You were surprised by his question.Â
He wasted no time in pulling you to his lap, your gasp only made him smirk wider, his hands resting on your waist, squeezing it lightly.Â
âDid he satisfy you, princess?â His voice was an octave deeper, giving you goosebumps.Â
âHâhe didnât,â you stutter, which pissed him further, his jaw tensed.Â
âSo youâre telling me that some asshole was deep inside you and didnât even bother making you feel good?â He scoffed.Â
âJakeââ
âYâknow what I would have done instead?â He asked, caressing your cheek, his thumb resting on your lips right after, âIâd kiss your lips till you get obsessed with mine.â his hooded eyes lured you in.Â
His fingers travelled down to your neck, rubbing circles just above your clavicle, âIâd kiss you till my lips memorize every inch of your body, till your mind goes blank,â he whispers, biting your earlobe.Â
You breathe in deeply, a whimper leaving your mouth, Jakeâs name rolling off your tongue in a whisper right after, making him groan in response.Â
âIâd ruin you, princess,â he breathes, eyes meeting yours.Â
âPlease.â You struggled to breathe, his pointy nose brushing against yours, lips threatening to kiss.Â
âSay it,â he urged you, pulling your body impossibly closer on his lap.Â
There was no denying that Jake made you lose every sense of rationality and morals in you, it almost felt as if you were intoxicated in his presence, your heart raced, thumping faster than ever, urging you to say yes.Â
âPlease ruin me, Jake,â you whispered, giving in and looking at him with innocent eyes.Â
âThatâs a good girl.âÂ
He was swift to push you down on the mattress, getting on top of you with hungry eyes to the point you almost felt as if you were a prey, and you liked it.Â
His cold chain brushed against your clavicle, making you shiver as he leaned down to press his lips against yours in a fervent kiss, a groan leaving his mouth as he finally had you so close to him.Â
Your fingers held on to his shoulders desperately, he was difficult to resist, and who were you to resist such pleasure? His plush lips moulding against yours, his hand squeezing your waist as you allowed yourself to get immersed into him.Â
You could feel the warmth spreading in your abdomen like wildfire, a gasp giving him the perfect opportunity to taste you, sliding his tongue down your mouth to deepen the kiss, the taste of chocolate lingering in his mouth and you let yourself moan into his lips.Â
You tugged on his hair, realizing how correct he was about you being obsessed with his lips as you found yourself chasing after it when he broke the kiss, making him chuckle at your desperation.Â
âSo fucking pretty,â he muttered, staring at your slightly swollen lips, which glistened with the mixture of your spit.Â
He wasnât the one to waste time, his tongue licking your neck, placing kisses all over it, causing you to squirm and pant till he found the spot which had you rolling your eyes with sheer pleasure.Â
Placing a hand over your mouth to silence your moans, he felt a feeling of possessiveness take over him. You looked so fucked out and he hadnât even done anything to you yet, he wasnât sure what heâd do if he sees someone else with you.Â
The mere thought had him biting and sucking on your skin in an attempt to mark the very spot which had you shivering and your toes curling. He slipped his other hand inside your flimsy tee, and in your bra, feeling your hardened nipples which he flicked between his fingers.Â
Your body felt more awake than ever, each touch of his getting a reaction out of you, âso responsive, have you been waiting for this, princess?âÂ
You could only nod in desperation, trying your best to keep your moans at bay, not wanting to alert your grandma. He kissed your cheek before he got up to get rid of his own clothes, giving you a few seconds to stare at his faint abs, highlighted by the dim lights along with his tattoo, which you so desperately wanted to kiss.Â
The image of you looking his way with such big eyes, chest heaving up and down only ignited the carnal feeling of him wanting to be deep inside you.Â
It all felt new to you, being aware and not drunk this time, however it wasnât just thatâJake made you feel this way, your thighs closing when you felt a fluttering sensation down your abdomen.Â
âUndress,â he ordered.Â
âWhatââ
âUndress for me, darling,â his words were smoother than the melted butter, making you work upon it instantly.Â
His eyes were fixated on your figure the entire time you took to get your clothing off, feeling shy under his gaze, not to mention the outline of his cock in his boxers intrigued you even further.Â
âFuck, youâre all mine,â he said under his breath.Â
His plush lips were soon on your tits, his other hand fondling and caressing your nipple while he worked his tongue, swirling it ever so perfectly before giving it a soft bite, making you arch your back as you bit on your discarded clothes, tears forming in your eyes with these euphoric sensations.Â
Heâs giving you all you could ask for and you? Youâre a mess with your lipstick smudged and ragged breathing. Just when you thought that Jake couldnât get you anymore wilder, he stuffed his hand down your wet panties, which brushed against your extremely sensitive clit. Even biting your clothes couldnât stop a moan coming out of your mouth.Â
âYou like it, baby? Thatâs my good girl. So pretty and wet all for daddy, yeah? Daddyâs gonna taste you now, princess,â his spoke, his accent deep.Â
âDaddy?â you asked, whimpering right after when his lips touched your bare pussy, pressing a kiss on your clit.Â
There was something in the way he addressed himself so confidently which made you want to submit yourself to him fully, only pushing yourself deeper into sub space as he worshipped every inch of your body.Â
âThatâs right, baby,â he spoke against your, sending waves of pleasure through your body as his strong hands held your thighs open.Â
Obscene noises of him licking and sucking resonated the room as you bucked up your hips unconsciously, desperate for friction, making his cock twitch while he licked languid strokes up and down your cunt, his hot breath fanning your folds, wishing to hear you moan despite the circumstances.Â
âShh, princess. We donât want your grandma to know now, do we?â He smirked.Â
Your hand slithers into Jakeâs hair, tugging on it as you convulse in pleasure, letting him continue his ministrations on your leaking pussy, his lips soft unlike his actions, which were rushed and aimed at your pleasure.Â
Your eyes roll back, arousal reaching its peak at the unadulterated pleasure as you repeated his name when he moved down to shove his tongue into your cunt, lapping at your juices when you reach your orgasm.Â
Yet he doesnât stop, inserting his slender finger in your tight hole, pumping it in and out gently at first while you whine and he gets up, wetness coating his lips. He lets you taste yourself by kissing you yet again, his fingers entertaining your cunt.Â
Your breaths are heavier, louder and you canât wait to have his cock shoved into you. You werenât the one to have lewd thoughts in general yet here you were, moaning into Jakeâs mouth, clenching around his two fingers which thrusted into you at a newfound speed.Â
âYes, daddy! Yes, oh god,â you mumbled to yourself, letting the lust consume you.Â
His fingers curled inside you before he decided that you were ready for his cock.Â
âLetâs see how desperate you are, beg for daddyâs cock, princess,â he demanded.Â
Now that his cock was in view, you stared at it dumbfounded. It was veiny and stood hard and leaking, the tip was red and ready to fuck you dumb, it pushed you over the edge.Â
âPlease, daddy? Iâll be a good girl for yâyou please fuck me?â A tear left your eye, tainting your image even further which aroused Jake as a sadistic smile overtook his face.Â
You continued to beg him, and he gave you no warning as he lined his tip on your entrance, coating it with your juices, almost pushing it all in but instead, he gave you just the tip, which made you beg out of frustration.Â
âTell me about your darkest fantasies,â Jake teased, seeing you pout and whine, âdo it baby, only then youâll get this cock into you.â
You were going crazy, âIâI want to be fucked awake,â you confessed, hiding your face.Â
âIs that so? How cute,â he commented, pulling your body flush.Â
Within a second, he thrusted into you sharply, your wet juices acting as the perfect lube to suck his cock right in as he bottomed out fully, cussing at the feeling of your walls clenching around him.Â
You could feel the imprint of his dick on your lower abdomen, and he pressed on it with a proud smirk, only to make you whimper lowly, your voice quivering with deep he was in you, âbigâso big.â
You laid beneath Jake in such a way that the sight was captivating for him, your vulnerability paired with his ignited primal hunger.Â
He firmly wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling out slightly before he thrusted into you again as you were clinging onto him.Â
He had never found anyone like you before, it was as if you were the only one for him, the one who reacts to his touch in such ways, the one who drives him insane to the point he has to rile you up just to get you to talk to him.Â
His slow thrusts soon turned into relentless, pleasure inducing thrusts, and you found yourself bucking your hips up to meet him, helping him reach deeper spots in you, his tip hitting your g-spot.Â
Choked moans escaped your lips, reaching the point of complete incoherence as you got drunk in the intensity of Jakeâs presence, your senses overwhelmed as he fucked you without any interruptions.Â
âDaddyâplease!â
Sensing that you were close, he thrusted harder, twitching inside your pussy, his lips capturing yours as you both cried out, reaching your climax in harmony, breathing in deeply before he filled you up with his warm cum, which mixed with your own juices.Â
âFuck,â you breathed out, causing him to laugh and pull you in a sweet kiss.Â
You could see the clear switch in his demeanour when he cleaned you up, asking gentle questions about how you felt or if he went overboard.Â
He was perfect.Â
Something had changed in the air, and you both were aware of it, but rather than verbalising it, you slept in each otherâs arms, Jake staying up a few minutes just to see your peaceful face.Â
âGood night, princess.â
Jake woke up early despite not getting enough sleep, still not believing that he fucked youâthe prettiest girl he swore heâd ever laid eyes on.Â
And he was sure to make your desires come true.Â
You wore nothing but his shirt to sleep, which made your pussy accessible to him, his fingers playing with your folds ever so gently as he didnât wish to wake you up, not this soon at least.Â
He continued to do so for a remarkably long time, smiling each time he saw you stir in your sleep, his lips leaving kisses on your neck and shoulder blades till you were fully wet for him.Â
Jake was shocked when you revealed that you were into somnophilia, but who was he to deny his girl some pleasure?
His other hand was busy taking care of his raging boner, seeing you dressed in his shirt, your scent mixed with his only drove him crazy.Â
His grip on your thighs was firm when he straddled you, pumping his cock a few times before he pushed it in you with a few thrusts, the stretch being enough to wake you up with a whimper, your state disoriented but the second you realized that Jake was making your wish actually come true, you moaned.Â
His dick throbbed inside you and you were still not over last nightâs adventure as curse words filled the air, along with the mist of your unholy activities and fervent longing as he thrusted with a groan, kissing and nibbling on the skin of your neck.Â
You were sure you had bruises forming on your clavicle by now, which also extended down your breasts and inner thighs, Jake being particular about having you marked through and through.Â
You could only sigh and plead for more, beg for more, the word daddy coming out of your mouth effortlessly, which was effective to the point it made Jake fuel with desire as he provided you with the most overwhelming, ecstasy filled orgasm, him coming all over your pussy, pulling out this time.Â
âI like you,â he revealed all of a sudden, his smile the epitome of boyishness which made you chuckle with your newfound happiness.Â
Thatâs one good way to wake up in the morning.Â
âGuess what, Sim. I like you too,â you confessed, growing shy by the last word and he pulled you in a sweet hug, swinging your body along his, your laughter filling up the room.Â
You gasped, looking at him with wide eyes. Â
You had forgotten to help him escape without your grandma knowing.Â
The escape was successful, and so were your holidays which were nearing. Your sadness was apparent on your face, having no desire to go back leaving your grandma and aunt Sim.Â
More importantly, Jake.Â
It has become a routine for him to slip into your room ever so professionally to sleep with youâsome nights you did sleep, other nights he gave you every reason to be awake.Â
Which also served as a solid reason for Jake to stop indulging in the so called drug trade, one instance of almost being caught was enough for you both, not that you were involved in the first place.Â
He opened up to you, actually acting like a goof at times, juxtaposing his usual bad boy demeanour. He provided you with the best of both worlds.Â
Your feelings for the guy you used to find annoying were increasing at record speed per day, and now that it was finally one day before youâd leave, you couldnât help but be bothered by Jakeâs absence.Â
Heâs always around, which made you wonder where and what he was up to, especially when you wanted nothing more than to spend your time in his arms, lip quivering at the thought that he might not wish to see you anymore.
However, that wasnât the case when he showed up in the doorway, huffing and hair messy as if he was running.Â
âJaeyun,â you whispered, letting him pull you in the comfort of his warm arms.Â
âIâm coming,â he breathed, making you look at him with wide eyes.Â
âWhat?â You blinked, almost stuttering.Â
âIâm coming to Seoul with you, princess. I got into the same university,â he chuckled as you snatched the envelope from him, jumping with excitement as tears filled your eyes, hugging him even tighter.Â
You felt like your heart was going to explode with the excitement, which Jake found heartwarming. He had planned this the second he saw you and got to know you. It was a given that he wanted to be with you.Â
âWhat about your mom?â You asked softly, realizing that sheâd be alone.Â
âSheâs gonna stay with Gigi. Our ladies are strong women, right?â He asked, caressing your lip, which you had noticed was his habit.Â
âWâwhen did you even applyâthis is so amazing,â you went on rambling, which was something he adored, but kissing your lips to shut you up was his favourite thing, especially when he got to see your shy smile right after.Â
âSo, weâre gonna be together?â You questioned, shyness taking over.Â
âYouâre wrong if you think youâll ever get rid of me now, princess,â he smirked, teasing you again.Â
This side of him made you faux scoff, âbut what if I want to get rid of you?â You challenged, knowing well you werenât capable of that.Â
He took a step closer to you, his broad smile illuminating the room, his hand resting on your waist pulling you closer, âIâd like to see you try and escape me,â he retorted.Â
âYou want me that much, huh?â Your smile was coy.Â
He brushed your nose tip with his, making you chuckle with joy.Â
âIâll always want my princess.â
THANK YOU FOR READING!
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#fic : roman holiday#enhypen hard hours#enhypen smut#jake smut#jake hard hours#enhypen imagines#kpop smut#jake x reader#enha smut#jake#enhypen scenarios#jake sim smut
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Tattoo
Pairing: Wolfstar x reader (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Reader)
Summary: You wanted to get your first tattoo
Word Count: 2k
Notes: fluff, fem!reader, no use of Y/N, language, English isnât my first language, lmk if I missed any
âI wanna get a tattoo,â you mumbled with food in you mouth, looking at your plate of spaghetti, but the boys didnât seem to hear you. Sirius was too preoccupied inhaling his food and Remus was looking at him in bewilderment, he could never understand how he could eat like this and not suffocate himself.
âIâm sorry dove, what was that?â Remus turned his gaze to where you were sitting right in front of him. But before you could say anything he turned his attention back to Sirius. âSiri, youâre gonna choke, if you keep eating like this, my star,â he tried to get Sirius to stop but the boy in question just playfully winked at him and kept eating. You took a deep breath; you knew that it was now or never. You swallowed your bite and said out loud.
âI wanna get a tattoo.â That has finally gotten the boys attention. Sirius choked on his food and started coughing loudly, Remus just rolled his eyes, before patting his back and shooting him a look that said I told you so. When your boyfriend finally stopped coughing and could normally breathe, his whole attention went to you, as did Remusâ.
âYou wanna do what now?â He almost yelled, looking at you stunned, matching Remusâ expression. Both of them knew how much you loved their tattoos, how could they not, when you told them almost every day and you ogled them every time, they were visible. But neither of them had any idea you wanted one as well.
âIâve been thinking about it for quite some time now, to be honest. I think it could look pretty and, well you know, badass. Plus, you look so cool with yours and I wanna be more like you, get out of my comfort zone as well,â you admitted shyly, not looking at them. Remus noticed your sheepishness and decided to approach it more calmly than his boyfriend.
âThat sounds really lovely, sweets. But you know itâs gonna be permanent right? I donât want you doing something you might regret. Iâm all for getting out of your comfort zone but do it only if youâre really sure.â He said sweetly, but all he could think of was what design youâve chosen, imagining wild things in his mind.
âSirius has tattoos he regrets, and I bet you do too, so what if I do as well?â You asked, finally looking up from your plate but your gaze stayed on Siriusâ bicep, where he had Remus has a big dick tattooed. He doesnât really remember getting it done, he just woke up one day, after a crazy party, with sore arm and a new tattoo. He blames James and Marlene for it. You know he secretly likes it (because itâs true) but regrets it because Remus gave him a really hard time about it, when he found out. He secretly likes it too and it boosts his ego, but he would never admit it.
âSirius is an idiot who gets every stupid shit tattooed on his body. You canât compare yourself to him, doveâ Remus also looked at Siriusâ bicep, blushing a little bit.
âHeyy, you love my body with every stupid shit on it, and we all know it.â Sirius imitated him, playfully looking offended before continuing speaking. âYes, I wish I didnât get some tattoos done and thatâs okay, Iâm fine with it, we just donât want you to make the same mistake. Especially with your first tattoo, thatâs a big deal. You never forget your firsts.â Sirius winked at you, proud of his innuendo. You blushed, knowing damn well it was true, the memory of your first time with your boys came to your mind. You quickly blinked to get the image out of your head, looking at the smirking boys who knew exactly what you were thinking about.
âIâm not gonna regret it, Iâve gave it a lot of thoughts and I already know what Iâm gonna get.â You smiled at the idea of you finally having a tattoo, just like your lovers.
âOkay then, Iâm gonna book you with my favorite artist, heâs amazing and always does an amazing jobâ Sirius beamed at you.
âI thought I was your favorite artist.â Remus pouted at his boyfriend playfully. He was responsible for at least half of Siriusâ ink and Sirius was always bragging about it to everyone who cared to listen.
âAnd you are my love, I just think that your first tattoo should be done by a professional.â Sirius tried to defend himself, even tho he knew his boyfriend was only joking.
âAre you calling me unprofessional?â Remus teased him more, âAnd wasnât your first tattoo done by James?â You added into the teasing, grinning wildly. Sirius gave you both the middle finger, rolling his eyes before continuing to eat, not having anything to defend himself with. Remus laughed loudly at his defeat, looking at him with love.
âI think thatâs a good idea actually, to get it done in a professional salon. It could also make you feel more comfortable than one of us doing it.â He shrugged his shoulders, starting to eat as well, but in a much slower pace than his boyfriend, who stuffed his face with spaghetti again.
âI could never feel more comfortable with someone else than you, my loves,â you stated strongly, looking at them with big smile in my face. You were happy that they supported your decision and were happy for you.
âââ
True to his word, Sirius booked you with his tattoo artist and just in two weeks, you were walking to the salon, with your boys by your side. You couldnât keep the excitement at bay, as you were almost skipping on the way. You couldnât be more excited to have a tattoo on your own. People always saw your two boys with tattoos on almost every inch of their bodies, especially Sirius, and gave you weird looks when you admitted you didnât have any. Now you could finally show them as well as have something new to bond over with Remus and Sirius. They kept asking you about the design you decided to have permanently inked on your body, but you were adamant on it being a surprise and didnât show them, no matter how persistent they were.
They insisted on going to the salon with you and as you stepped inside, you were glad. The tattoo artist sat you down on a chair as he went to get everything sorted and the fear of needles suddenly hit you and you gripped both of their hands. Both of them immediately noticed and Remus placed a soothing hand on your cheek.
âAre you feeling okay, dovie?â He asked gently and rubbed your cheek soothingly. You swallowed the lump in your throat before answering. âYeah, Iâm fine. Just a tad bit nervous.â You bit the inside of your cheek, looking at their tattooed hands and wondering how much it had to hurt.
âYou know, you donât have to go through with it, if youâre not sure. We can walk out right this second.â Sirius lifted your chin so you could look o his serious expression.
âBut I want to have a cool tattoo and be hot.â You whined slightly and Siriusâ eyes widened.
âWoman, your are the hottest person to ever live! Youâre so hot, I can't believe we havenât melted yetâ He shrieked and in the corner of your eyes, you could see Remus rolling his eyes at Siriusâ loud proclamation but he smiled nonetheless.
âHeâs right, you know? Youâre smoking hot, with or without tattoos. If you donât wanna do it, or youâre not sure, we can get out and youâd still be the hottest, more beautiful person to ever walk this earth.â He stated, giving you his most sincere look so you knew he wasnât joking. You giggled, all the anxiety leaving your body.
âThank you, but Iâm sure. I wanna do this, I really do.â You breathed in and with that, the artist joined your and asked the boys to leave so he could tattoo in private. They both gave you a last look, silently asking if you were sure and when you gave them a nod and a big smile, they both kissed your cheeks and went to sit in the waiting room.
After an hour, the guy was wrapping up your new tattoo. The pain wasnât even that bad, and the man was talking to you the whole time, helping you with distraction. You put on your (Remusâ) sweater, not wanting the boys to see just yet, and went to the reception to pay and leave. He gave you a huge discount, thank to Sirius, and with a promise to see him soon, you left to get your lovers. The second you walked into the waiting room, Sirius jumped to his feet, rushing to you.
âShow me, show me, show me.â He begged like a little boy who is waiting to get a present. Remus walked slowly to the two of you and once again, placed a hand on your cheek.
âHow are you feeling, sweets? Are you fine? Was the pain okay?â He asked, wanting to make sure you were okay. You smiled at them, the smile hurting your cheeks as you took both their hands in yours.
âIâm amazing. It was fine, didnât hurt that much and we talked the whole time.â You calmed him down. Remus looked like he wanted to say something but Sirius jumped in.
âThatâs amazing, love. Now show us!â He really looked like a kid, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
âI wanna show you when we get home.â Sirius looked like you took away his favorite toy, pouting. Remus laughed at him and went to the exit, holding the door open for you and your whining boyfriend.
âYouâre killing me, you know that? Iâve been waiting for two whole weeks.â He trailed after you, like a dog with his tail between his legs.
âSee, youâve waited for this long, youâre gonna survive the few extra minutes.â Remus gave him a kiss on the cheek, taking his hand and you all walked back to your shared apartment.
The second you arrived home, Sirius insisted you show them the tattoo. Iâm gonna throw myself out the window if I donât see it this second, were his exact words. Surprisingly, Remus agreed with him, proclaiming youâve teased them long enough, with a smirk on his face. You took of the sweater as well as your shirt, taking a deep breath. You were a bit nervous about their reaction. Their eyes fell on your collarbones where the new tattoo laid.
Canis Major (the constellation Sirius was named after) on one side and the Lunar phase on the other. Both boys had their mouth wide open, staring at the ink on your body.
âIs- is it real?â Remus whispered, like he wasnât with you at the salon. Both him and Sirius walked closer, wanting to have a better look. You nodded, too nervous at their silence to speak out loud.
âI canât believe you did that.â He said quietly and softly, his eyes never leaving my collar bones.
âYou donât like it?â You asked meekly, scared that they hated it. Sirius whipped his head to look you in the eyes so quickly you were surprised he didnât break his neck.
âAre you kidding? Iâve never seen anything more beautiful. Itâs just..â he said but trailed off, fishing for words. He looked almost insulted when you suggested they didnât like it.
âWe absolutely love it, my sweet girl. We just canât believe youâd tattoo something with a connection to us.â Remus added, looking at you gently, his eyes full of love. You looked at him in absolute shock.
âOf course Iâd tattoo something with a connection to you. Youâre my whole world.â Sirius and Remus looked at you like you hung the stars for them.
âAnd you are ours, our lovely girl. Itâs fucking perfect, just like you. I couldnât love you more.â Sirius said kissing you deeply, before passing you to Remus who did the same thing.
âI canât believe you did that, my love. Thank you.â He leaned his forehead against yours, his love for you radiating off of him. You basked in their love before Sirius gasped loudly.
âWait! Youâve let a stranger look and touch you without a shirt on?â
#marauders era#marauders fluff#marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x reader#sirius black x you#the marauders#fluff#marauders x reader#remus lupin x you#harry potter#wolfstar x you#wolfstar x reader#wolfstar#remus x sirius x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#poly!marauders x you#marauders fanfiction#sirius being sirius#sirius black x remus lupin
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when you know, you know â hwang hyunjin.
hyunjin x gn! reader. fluff. hurt comfort. no warnings.
wc: 800 words.
song: margaret by lana del rey.
in the darkness of the night, he asks for your reassurance. super soft hyune.
âWhy do you love me?â
Hyunjin whispers, his voice hushed akin to a nightingaleâs, it blends with the darkness of the night. You feel his body shift closer towards you, his warmth blanketing you better than the cotton duvets could.Â
He waits, and you swallow as you try to put your words together. Hyunjin hasnât been feeling the best, constantly letting his mind drift as his eyes stare at the wall. You know that with the right words, heâll hopefully pull away from the awful headspace.Â
âWell,â you mumble, inching closer towards him to the point he could smell the mint in your breath. âI like the way your eyes light up whenever we visit your favourite bakery and you see that your favourite baguetteâs fresh from the oven. When you run around with Kkami in your backyard and desperately try to get his kisses.â
You pause, looking up at him to catch sight of his softened expressions.Â
âI like it when we visit your parents and your mom lets you taste her food. You tend to dance around and giggle. Itâs cute. I also love the way your eyebrows scrunch when you observe your painting. Or when you spill coffee on your shirt and pout at yourself.â
All of the words spill from your mouth in one breath â seamlessly, like youâve memorized all of them and have been waiting for someone to ask. It leaves Hyunjin speechless.
âSo,â his voice trails, âYou love me for just me? Not for what I can give, but for me?â
You nod, reaching a hand out to push his bangs off his forehead, then lean in to kiss.Â
âOf course, I also like you for what you have to give. Itâs like an added bonus. Ultimately, I love you for you and your little things.â
Hyunjin could only weep. A rivulet of tears traces down his cheeks as he sniffles. Through his tears, he tries to speak.
âI thought,â he sobs, âIâll only be loved if I give something â if I keep giving. I didnât know I could be loved for just me.â
The confession has your heart aching â like somebody had ripped your heart from your chest and squeezed it dry. Your hands reach to his face and wipe away his tears, but the tears keep coming. So, you wrap your arms around his neck and cradle him, and he nuzzles his face into your shoulder like he wants to hide away from the world.Â
âMy baby,â you comfort him. His demeanours since the past week suddenly made sense â the extra hours heâd spend in the studio and coming home long after dusk. Seungmin telling you that heâd been staying back even after all the members had left. âIs that why youâve been working so hard?â
You could feel him nod, and so you reach to his nape and gently massage â an attempt to comfort him. You wish you could do more. Youâd take away all his pain and endure it by yourself if you could.
âYou donât have to push yourself too much, my baby,â you whisper, âIâm proud of you even if all you did was breathe.âÂ
At that, Hyunjin pulls away. He looks into your eyes, his own a pale red.Â
âHow did you know that you love me?â
You smile. Gently, you squeeze his shoulder. He could feel the affection in the action.
âI just knew.â
"You... just knew?" he repeats your words like a pre-schooler learning ABCs for the first time.
A fragment of your memory comes into mind â of the first time you told him you love him. Hyunjin was biting into a footlong baguette in his favourite cafe, happily dancing in his seat. The smile that plastered across his visage at the time was huge, it reached his ears and formed crescents under his eyes.
People say that itâs not hard to realize that youâre in love with someone. The feeling either hits you hard, or it seeps into your bones gently. Either way, youâd know.Â
When you know, you know.Â
You knew, then.Â
âWhen you bit into that footlong baguette in the cafe, I just knew. I was in love with you.â
This time, Hyunjin smiles. Like moonlight that brightens darkness, he smiles. Like you just put up stars in the sky for him.Â
Hyunjin remembers it too. Itâs not easy to forget the memory, of how he stopped in his tracks and stared at you. How his heart fluttered in his chest and realization seeped into his bones, prompting him to tell you that he loves you too.
Another tear cascades down his cheek but this time, itâs from happiness. You giggle, reaching out to wipe the tear and to press a kiss on his nose.Â
âI love you, Hyunjin.â
Hyunjin looks at you like it's the first time someone has ever told him that.
âSay that again, please.â
disclaimer â © 2024 hyunverse on tumblr. all rights reserved. authors works are protected under the copyright law. do not plagiarize or translate my works. tumblr is my only platform.
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Secret (blurb/headcannons) // Alexia Putellas
a/n: based off this request :)
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
-
getting permission
"I was thinking" you started, turning the volume of the tv down, "Frido and Ingrid- theyâre my best friends-" you didnât know how to approach the situation, being back together with Alexia was heaven on earth but parts of you felt like you had betrayed your friends by not telling them about everything thatâs happened.
And they literally knew everything about you, so it was weird to let them in the dark about such a massive part of your life.
"Tell them, itâs okay" she smiled, already knowing what you were trying to say as she leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, "do you want to invite them for dinner? Iâll cook something and then go to mama"
"Youâre just fine with it?" you asked, lifting a brow.
"SĂ. You should have done that way earlier" she whispered, "while I respect it so much that you didnât, you had every right to. I wonât stop you. Whatever you want, Iâll support you" your heart melted at her words, "forever"
Alexia wasnât the same anymore - she wasnât the girl who was afraid to show her love. She was the woman who showed every form of affection and love - not caring about teammates teasing, media comments or haters.
She loved you, that was all that mattered.
"Are you sure sure?" you asked again.
"SĂ" her expression was firm, letting you know that she was indeed more than sure before a gentle smile took over, dreamy eyes looking at you with so much love.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
-
telling Ingrid and Fridolina
The three of you sitting in your local café
Build up conversation
"How are things with Alexia?"
long story time
Ingrid and Frido more than shocked
Asking many questions
Offering money??!!?!?
513 flowers? How much did they cost?
gasps
"The audacity"
coffee and biscuits turning into drinks and dinner
Analyzing everything
rage in their voices
anger, irritation, confusion in their expressions
disappointment in their eyes
commenting on situations and actions
They expected more from someone like Alexia
Both of them very disappointed in Alexia yet partly understanding her reasons.
Ingrid about to have a very long conversation with her girlfriend at home
Apologizing multiple times for not telling them earlier
Your friends understanding in every possible way
The two of them forever having your back and defending you
proud of you for not giving in and forgiving her straight away.
happy for you that everything has changed for the better
Appreciating how Alexia treats you and shows you off now
Ingrid and Frido having a shovel talk with Alexia the day after
Alexia not dreaming of hurting you - now even more.
Intimidated by the Scandies
Alexia starting to copy romantic gestures from the countless of books youâve read
Alexia continuing her 'diary', also known as the 'why I love you'-book which she gifts you at each anniversary
Your friends teasing you when they see the books in one of the shelves of your shared home
Ingrid and Frido becoming bridemaids at your wedding one day
happy end - an end you always wished for
till death do you apart
#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#woso fanfics#woso x reader#woso#woso image x reader#woso imagine#fc barcelona femeni#fc barcelona women#barca femini x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#barça femeni#barca femeni#barcelona femeni#barca women#barcelona women#espwnt#espwnt x reader#ingrid engen#fridolina rolfö#maria león
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