#i wish i could just catch a break
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wow im having the absolute worst tjme on “vacation” what a shitty way to end my ultra shitty year who even gives a fuck
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Leaf-bare again and we're already off to a bad start :')
#clangen#clan generator#warrior cats#warriors oc#sporeclan#my poor girl finchpaw cant catch a break ever she keeps getting ill </3#btw with petunia. the reason it says he got better was because literally in the game his infection WAS cured#and then the literal message after that was that his wound got infected AGAIN. sigh#sc:fennel#sc:fennelacorn#sc:finchpaw#sc:fadedtuft#sc:petunia#sc:cliffthicket#sc:dawnpelt#sc:mousegrove#sc:spottedfrost#sc:puddle#sc:crowstar#yall im so sorry ive been so slow with the updates i wish i could say im busy but really ive just been gaming this whole time#ive blazed through like 2 and a half f!re embIem games in like a month and a half. plus i read all of dunme5hi#plus i did take a lil break to draw other stuff than cats for a bit just so i didnt burn out#ive been looking forward to the next moon for a while so hopefully it'll be up fairly soon#sc moons#tw blood#tw injury#tw illness
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some asshole tried stealing a car that had a baby in it at walmart today so me and the dad hung onto the car, him trying to get his baby out of the carseat and I broke the idiot's nose while hanging onto the driver's door
ya girl dislocated her shoulder and wrist, got hit with butt of a gun on my face and sprained my leg so I'll try my best to still gif gay shit LOLOLOL
#I WISH I could mind my business but my body moved before I could think ugh#can't catch a break this weekend it seems#now the police wants a statement while I just wanna dose off from pain meds#sped off 3 blocks down at 40 mph while trying to wrestle his gun away from me#idiot got scared when he finally realized there's a baby in the back and the dad was yelling something in spanish#the local news now wants more details from me too and I just wanna be left tf alone#personal
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every day i wish that Rats SMP was a cartoon bc it would make the greatest show ever i think
#I've been watching Arietty and the Rescuers a lot lately;;;;;;;;;;;#i just think it would make the cutest fucking cartoon with the funniest plotlines#it would be so perfect#with the ensemble cast you can swap out characters as much as you need/want to#the different animals breaking into the house later in the series would make a fucking BANGER season 2#(like can you fucking imagine. season 2 pilot. theres a BADGER IN THE HOUSE NOW?)#they've even got a halloween special AND christmas special episode it's PERFECT#the whole first season could cover the rats getting used to the house and getting settled in#maybe the season 1 finale is the mum and others coming home#I would absolutely fucking want Owen to be played by David Tennant bc his tenth doctor voice gives me rat owen vibes#rats smp cartoon would be so so so good#cannot fucking WAIT for Rats In Paris#i have a whole scene in my head of like. that episode where Jimmy gets locked in a room all night and is miserable abt it 😭#where he's trapped in the room with the son and the boy is just chasing him around the room for hours#set to the song A Haunted House! from the totoro soundtrack#trying to catch jimmy in a little bug net#there's also this whole wild chase scene in my head with one of the cats chasing Owen Martyn and Scott and the janitor gets involved as well#set to Cat Chase from the Suzume soundtrack#i actually have a whole spotify playlist titled Rats SMP But As A Wholesome Kids Cartoon it has so many ghibli movie songs#(willing to share if anyone is curious i love sharing playlists)#i fucking LOVE imagining Hey Let's Go from the totoro opening credits as a Mitchiri-Neko style marching rats credits sequence#with each verse more characters join the march until all the animal guests and humans are there too#Do the Impossible from Chicory would make such a fucking cute anime style opening showing little clips of all the chaos of the house#i love this idea so goddamn much i fucking wish i could animate ;-;#i would infodump about this idea for hours if i had infinite tag space but alas. maximum of 30
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girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money
#this is a joke i am not excited#i am very much in pain#we cope with laughs#i hate the gauntlet of holidays and special occasions from december through to march#it's christmas then it's new years then it's valentine's and my husband and i's anniversary merged together and then it's my bday#all of that's done with now but both our wallets are hurting lmao#and worse yet i still can't even catch a break because now i need to prepare for conventions and tax season#at least one of those expo's will definitely pay for my taxes#and i'm thankful this year i have three to attend so i get to actually earn money from them LOL#but man the winter season this year was one of the worst i've ever seen for tattooing#it's starting to get a little bit back to normal now but i'm still on edge because it could go back to being dead again at any moment#i got this#i just wish i could breathe lmao
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I’ve spent all day in my room, I ate two meals, drank one cup of water, and have been staring at a tiny screen inches away from my face all day. Now why on earth do I have a headache?
#I also just need to go to sleep#I’m still trying to catch up with one piece#(thought I would take a break by now but I’m not)#and so I’ve been doing nothing by watching one piece all day#and I forgot to eat lunch#that’s my day in a nutshell#kinda wish I was employed again so I could have some structure in my life
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Miguel defending Peter Parker got me feelin some way.
#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderverse#spiderman#I recently finished the original series#comic Miguel grew on me#He's just a sad little dude who can't catch a break#kind of wish ATSV Miguel could Meet comic Mig
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they fucking killed him..................
#scavengers reign#scavengers reign spoilers#ifkyk#I CANNOT get over this#i finished the episode and cried and continued to say they fucking killed him for like an hour#my mans could NOT catch a break#:( i was hoping somehow they'd save him or he'd become part of the ecosystem like levi did (via corpse flower) but no#they gave him the kindest death they could. by his own hand. making sure someone made it safely to the ship so they could save the crew#in his place#a death that isn't shown grotesquely on screen. just something quiet#im happy he got a kinder end. but i sure wish he could've had a kinder run too
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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How do you see Sasaki’s first chat with Donato going down now that Amon’s present?
Ooh okay I have a few thoughts about this (I wrote a response for this earlier and then tumblr didn't save the draft *explodes*):
First of all Amon would obviously be super weary of Haise talking to Donato in the first place. He doesn't like the sound or idea of it at all. He's likely already certain that the "Alice" that Donato alluded to all that time ago was Kaneki/Haise, and look where it's gotten him now (wading into dangerous waters about CCG corruption, or really just. Everything about him and 'Eyepatch' in general), and there's no reason to believe he can't cause equal trouble with whatever he tells Haise. He absolutely knows things he Shouldn't, and that's dangerous.
Haise isn't so concerned, however. Donato seems... nice? In his weird, unconventional Donato-way. Donato speaks to him in a very friendly manner, and hears him out (in canon he says "You always help organize my thoughts. I appreciate it..."), obviously with Amon's disdain towards him he didn't really mean to have his guard so low like that, but it ends up happening away, because Donato seems to like Haise and having these conversations to kill the time. And at least he's more helpful about passing on information to Haise anyway. (He also probably occasionally prods Haise for info on how Amon's doing too LOL)
Regarding the fact that Amon was raised by Donato, now that gets complicated. Haise knows, obviously, and he wants to know more, but he likely thinks it both isn't his place to ask more about it and just, is hesitant to for a multitude of reasons. Asking Donato probably feels a bit like an invasion of privacy (if he did ask though, Donato would probably laugh about Amon as a kid, like about his sweet tooth), and obviously that would be a super touchy subject to ask Amon about. Honestly discussion about Donato between them is probably pretty strange in general, considering they both clearly have contrasting feelings about the man (and they're both complicated in their own ways (though Amon's are obviously moreso)). They probably try to keep it professional, discussion just the intel/info that he can give on cases, though maybe a few times Haise asks how Donato is like to other people, or something equally general (since asking why Amon has such disdain for him would be too obvious, and asking about his past upfront would be too direct).
As for Haise and Donato's conversations: Since Amon is here now, Donato obviously doesn't need to tell Haise to seek out a certain ghoul or anything. However, I think he would still be somewhat cryptic about it. Maybe he would hint that the "key" to his memories is much, much closer than he may think. That it's sitting within arm's reach, really, if he so chooses to pick it up and actually try and find out what was in his past. He would probably feed hints that point towards Amon, but leave it up to Haise himself to actually ask/remember anything, he's probably not just gonna spell it out for him. Maybe one day Haise recounts all the inexplicable feelings from his first encounter with Amon to Donato. Maybe Donato tells Haise that Amon may be more important to him than he realizes. Maybe he tells him that it's about time that he tries to figure out why.
#asks#amoneki ramblings#amoneki#amonsasa#amonsasa ccg au#haha i could also see some shenanigans#like amon visiting donato again and he jokingly tells him how haise's been telling him alllll about him. oh dear#also i somehow never made the connection#with the parallel of donato telling amon to seek out “alice”/a half-ghoul#and donato telling haise to seek out the “key to his memories”/also a half-ghoul (in canon)#donato wishes he could see his beloved son and spouse- i mean coworker together#but alas. he enjoys speaking with haise at least and at least he visits every once in a while. unlike a certain someone#also sidenote but SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING FOR A BIT#i just got on break with school but i'm still so exhausted guhh so i've accidentally let quite a few asks pile up#i think i ahve a couple asks and drafts that need responding/finishing#but i WILL get to them !! (maybe it's about time i start using the queue function) i'll catch up :pray:
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#hi back for now bc it's fall break and I'm stuck on campus#trying not to complain about it but I've been having stomach issues for at least the past couple of weeks#it's been acting up since I got here but the past few weeks and specifically the past few days it's become a lot more intense#I made an appointment with the medical clinic here on campus and they're treating me with something for a possible stomach ulcer right now#I have a follow-up in a couple of weeks#I'm struggling to keep on top of all my thoughts and feelings and emotions right now too#which may be causing or compounding the stomach issues. honestly who knows.#all I know for sure rn is that I feel very tired and worn out despite it being fall break#and I wish I didn't feel this way#kinda sad and very tired#it's a perfect opportunity to catch up on school work that I've fallen behind on. and yet I feel completely unable to even think#about school. hhhhh. 🙃#it's been such a hard year guys. and I don't want to complain or wallow but I wish I could just break down have a good cry#or a screaming fit if needed#just get it all out#and then maybe I'd be able to cope a little better#unfortunately I'm not sure that's how it works. so I guess I'm stuck feeling like this for now.
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kinda funny in a sorta sad way how people will be calling a character trash before they're even out and then upon release when they realize the character is actually good they start comparing them to earlier units and calling THEM trash
#honkai star rail#yes this is about argenti#and now that they realized that argenti is in fact good jing yuan is getting called trash again he cant catch a break for real#but i remember people were talking shit about luocha as well before he was released#like idk maybe wait until you can actually try a character in game or smth#wish people could accept that diff characters have diff playstyles and some are harders to build then others#that doesnt mean theyre bad#normally i wouldnt care about this its just gotten too much and i had to go on a little rant#anyway my advice is ultimately just pull for and play the characters you like#hsr#my post#forgot to add and cant move tags so here it goes: when i said diff playstyles#i meant that even characters who are on the same path tend to work differently (and this is something i really like about this game)#dude im so tired i cant even convey my thoughts properly i hope this post makes sense
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if i had a nickel for every time my flatmate came into my and roommate's room at 23:30 to hang her laundry i would have two nickels
#i don't even have energy to get upset#but i just don't think it's okay#she's a stranger to me so why half of my room is occupied by the clothes dryer with her wet pants and bras#roommate allows her to do whatever she wants so she does whatever she wants#but i wish i also had a say in this#i mean ive lived here for a year and she moved in last month :(#ok update#i tried talking to roommate if we could find a different solution for this and she said no 🙂👍#i suggested 3 solutions and she said it's stupid and it's not a big deal#well it is a big deal to me because a stranger is constantly in my personal space pretending im not here#literally can't catch a break here
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Obiyuki playlist - Before Dawn
It's a clear, cold night in the wilderness of Lyrias.
Best listened to at night over earphones ✨🌕✨
#hope you like - these songs get me so emotional and have such a specific nighttime obiyuki feel to me ;-;#I will warn that song 3 (Geyser by Mitski) has a sudden loud start after the first two songs being more chill#and the lyrics!!! so many good obiyuki lyrics in some of them (esp 'poor song' 'flatlands' and 'my best friend is you')#the song '7:pm' transports me to another dimension which is - despite the song name - at the break of dawn#and it has all the passionate intensity of the apex of a period drama where the two characters are - say - running to catch a sunrise#whilst also realising their feelings for each other#wish I could make this pic the cover of the playlist it's just the vibe I was going for#(manga panels from chapter 101)#obiyuki#akagami no shirayukihime#snow white with the red hair#obi#shirayuki#my edit#my playlist#playlist#before dawn
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being an introvert w social anxiety who also loves socializing is so annoying bc i need to find the perfect combination of social interaction vs energy levels vs going insane w anxiety. the balance act is almost as exhausting as the social anxiety aeofijai
like. i so desperately want to make more friends. i'm so bad at talking to people one on one bc it drains my social battery way quicker than group convos. but i also get really anxious in groups, especially if they're new groups or i'm new to the group. but if i don't socialize, my mental health goes in the gutter. if my mental health goes in the gutter, i isolate myself. and then it's harder and harder to deal w my social anxiety bc i've been avoiding it for a while lmao
WHY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS.
#tbh even my 'safe' social places lately have been causing me so much anxiety bc of various factors and i'm just like aoeiwfj#i wish i could catch a break from being in my own head#*dykeposting
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IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn
#being sick and in pain is like…. i can stand it for a couple hours#but then i legitimately become‚ like‚ suicidal#im like. this sucks so fucking bad actually i cant take it anymore. id legitimately rather die than be in this much pain for a second longer#of course i have to keep taking it cause theres nothing i can do and im just generally pretty overdramatic when it comes to pain#but laying there with all my. fucking. pains and whatever for hours on end#the only thought on my mind was how badly i wish it would just. stop. so i could catch a BREAK#so now the only thought on my mind is how happy i am i dont hurt anymore ^___^#like i forgot how great it feels to not be in agonizing pain. lmao#ANYWAYS!!!!!! again im just being really dramatic it sucked but genuinely it wasnt that bad but still im glad its over#and like i said i got hella sleep to catch up on so ill see yall later ghehehe
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