#i wish i could go back and reread this arc again for the first time. fuck.

[shigayokagayama]

i have no idea if or not it was a parallel experience for people who watched the anime first but the combination of dimple seeming to die permanently in broccoli arc, then learning teru's backstory in an omake, THEN reading the teru part of the confession arc really had me fully geared up for confession arc to be an arc where ???% one by one went through and actually for real killed every member of the cast and i dont think the sheer level of panic i felt reading that arc has ever been matched by anything else ever. i was like

[micamicster]

HII MICA i just wanted to ask your thoughts in the new season now that youve finished it, especially your favorite moments, episodes, and songs!!

Ok here are my long awaited (sorry babe!) season 2 thoughts! This really got away from me haha but long story short: I loved it ❤️

Long story medium: Nida Manzoor has done it again—beautiful, vibrant, funny, and poignant. A season 2 that succeeds in expanding the world and deepening our understanding of the characters. And the songs are great!

Long story LONG: under the cut <3 (and also I’ve reread this and i have managed to avoid any major spoilers so if you haven’t watched yet this post should be safe!)

I went into this season VERY apprehensive. I think the first season is a practically perfect season of television, and over the last few years I’ve had plenty of time to think of all the ways a second season could fail to deliver. But as the credits rolled on season 2 episode 1 my sister and I just sat there grinning at the screen like you guys we are SO back!!!!

Some thoughts, in no particular order:

The writing: Nida Manzoor has a knack for putting her finger right on the sore spot—right on the place where the show is most likely to receive criticism, and digging in. Not in a gotcha, bad faith sort of way, but by pulling those issues apart and showing how painful and complicated and nuanced these questions of representation and responsibility really are. Not to give too many spoilers but whew. Her episode fives! Other people can speak to this better than me but this seasons episode 5 was raw, painful, pointed… simultaneously a criticism of art and representation as political commentary, and like the only possible political commentary that could be made under these conditions. Fictional battles with censorship, identity, representation, and responsibility meet the very real world, where Nida Manzoor is producing a real show. To quote manzoor herself, “i don’t want to give the answer to the audience because i don’t have it—I don’t want to ever feel like I’m preaching or delivering a sermon about anything; instead, just posing the question.” It’s such a good show guys.

Character Arcs: The arcs given to the band members who were secondary characters in season one were executed beautifully. Getting more insight into Taz, Ayesha, and Bisma (and giving more to do to their incredible actresses!) was exactly what I’d hoped for from a season 2.

God I Wish The Show Was Longer part A: While I loved (and badly wanted!) more time with the other girls, I did miss the tight focus on saira and Amina as narrative foils and drivers of each others character development that season one had. Not just from a shipping perspective! (although we all know I’m guilty of shipping for sure lol). But I did miss their relationship, and a longer season would have given us more time to spare from the other important arcs going on to return to things I loved about season one.

Compared to season 1: One difference I noticed was how the surrealist elements aren’t only contained to Amina/her narration anymore, but that other characters have them or interact with them (Bisma pausing her arguments, Ahsan trying and failing to interrupt the spotlight on Amina and Billy). I thought it was a great way to show how much closer the characters have become (that Ahsan would even notice Amina’s little fantasy!) and also as a way to give narration over to different characters (Bisma being the clear pov in those fights as compared to Amina narrating things she’s only heard about in season 1). Another difference is how each episode of season 1 is so well-contained and precise, while I feel the show sprawls more in season 2 as a result of expanding the world and becoming more of a true ensemble show. This isn’t a criticism—shows need to expand in order to continue to grow! Just an observation, which leads us to:

God I Wish The Show Was Longer part 2: Around episode 4 and 5 I wondered if they were going to be able to tie everything up, given how many complex issues and conflicts had been raised. I had no reason to doubt—Nida Manzoor brought these conflicts and arcs to deeply satisfying conclusions, without feeling like these issues lost nuance or were reduced in complexity for the sake of a finale. It’s incredible what all she managed to achieve in 6 episodes! That said, I would have loved to have been able to see more of the characters journeys, and one or two more episodes would have given things more room to breathe. I would have loved to see more of Taz’s work with other artists, or Saira becoming more comfortable with the idea of herself as a mentor. Bisma’s arc in particular I thought could have used more time, although Faith Omole’s stunning performance of Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood does beautiful emotional work for her arc (and tbh for everyone else’s arcs—it’s a centerpiece of the episode and a great example of what a song can do for character, emotion, and arc in a musical narrative). Which brings us to!

The performances/songs: Putting these two together to say that every actress delivered an incredible award-worthy performance, juggling comedy and dramatic acting skillfully. And the songs! Villain Era is on fucking repeat in this house. Already said Misunderstood is amazing but it should be said again. Nina is pretty much the toughest act in the world to follow but Faith fucking does it. Stunning ❤️ Speaking of Faith her doing the voices in Oops I Did It Again was the happiest I’ve been all year oh my god this show is so much funnnnnnn everyone watch it it’s so! fun!

[mmpookie]

ARCANA TWILIGHT FLOOR 13 REACTION SPOILERS ‼️

I. AM. NOT OKAY.😭😭 BRO I AM ON MY. KNEES. PLEASEEE GIVE US A SEASON TWO STORY TACO OML 😭🙏🙏

OKAY NOW FOR DISCUSSION:

FIRST SHOUT OUT TO CONFRONTATIONAL ARKY GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE GENDERS 😩🙏

OK

THE THE. THE FRICKEN POLLUX IS CASTOR PLOTTWIST⁉️

I SAT OVER HERE DRAWING THE POLLUX BDAY ART .JUST. COMPLETELY ABSENTED MINDED OF THE FACT THAT POLLUX AND CASTOR LITERALLY PULLED A TWIN SWAP CLICHE ON US THAT IS SO FUNNY TO ME.

HE'S SO TRAGIC ☹️

BTW I ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR READING THIS I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS THE CASE THE ENTIRE TIME OH MY GOD

I MEAN THINKING ABOUT IT I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED IT BUT STILL (EVEN SIRIUS WAS STUNNED)

Also teehee the dots are connecting with mythology again UGH it's so smart with what they pulled off I loved this closing arc for pollux

or I mean castor???

I'm not stretching right???

Also did they ever clarify what castor's fate of misfortune was? Unless I missed it, it's gotta be referring to his death right? Deffo gonna reread the story for when my arcana twilight withdrawals kick in to reanalyze EVERYTHING bc that will be fun

MORE MYTHOLOGY‼️

I've would also love to shout out how much of Arky's role of guiding us out of the Boundry can be paralleled to the greek god Hermes and what he symbolizes BUT BRO

CAN YOU HEAR MY UTTER ANGUISH?????? MY UTTER DESPAIR?????? I AM UNCONSOLABLE

I DUNNO IF I'LL EVER RECOVER FROM THIS LINE 😭 SORRY IT'S JUST ME PARALLELING SUMMONER AND VEGA TO ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE AGAIN. AND. AND. HOW RELEVENT IT IS TO THEIR BACKSTORY AND VEGAS TRAUMA OF BEING ABANDONED BUT

THIS IS SUCH A PERFECT LINE. THE BOW ON TOP OF HIS CHARACTER ARC. I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER

THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH A HADESTOWN FAN I AM SO IGNORE ME

Ok so at the end I was like NERVOUS bc there was the chance they could have MAYBE pulled off two different endings depending on whether summoner personally wanted to stay or go back to Mid Earthium- which would have been a cool opportunity that Storytaco could have pulled,, but I guesss instead they did the thing where the choices triggered the same response, but this time in the sense that the rest is left to your imagination:

*you turn around = you stay back at the Boundry with the boys (this is because if you turn around the portal magic thingy won't work)

*or you listen to arcturus = keep walking until you arrive back home (earth)

Personally I chose to turn around bc ,one, the story never really gave me TOO much reason to want to go back home- however it was back there- and two I WAS YELLING THROUGH THE SCREEN NOO I DONT TO LEAVEEE 😭😭 THE WHOLE TIME

Also the voice we hear at the end says

"Can you hear? I have a story I desperately want to tell."

And I?? Can't exactly tell what it means?..OTHER THAN A TEASER FOR MORE CONTENT?? MAYBE PONTENTIALLY?? But if it's actually obviously something else I missed please tell me 😭

Anyways end of lecture:

Pollux and vega ending arc top tier.

Arcturus hmm I wish they didn't gloss over the void arc so quickly ����

If they could have fitted it in there I would have loved if they had just a BIT more of a satisfying conclusion for spica and alpheratz yknow? :( just me??

And finally. I can be slow,,, so if there's anyone out there that can explain Sirius's whole spiel with polaris and everything with the time travel.,,,,,,, I really would appreciate it bc I'm still trying to understand 😭

(Story taco if you're reading this please make more story I love these characters too much ☹️)

[bayofwolves]

Rereading Against the Tide

After two months... we're so back.

Apologies once again for the impromptu hiatus! I'm excited to get back to these rereads. It's been a while, so I'll explain the purpose of these posts again: This is not a full analysis, but rather a compilation of details I find interesting or missed when I was a younger reader. I'm rereading the whole series to gather information for A Revised History of Erdas, so there may be some commentary from time to time on how I plan to change or expand on certain plot points.

Let's find out what horrors are in store for our heroes this time!

Finally, Abeke gets her own cover! My girl!! They change how Uraza looks on every cover, but I like how she looks here. I especially love the purple wisps coming from her; how cool would it be if that happened every time your spirit animal appeared out of passive state?

Erdas has the Fahrenheit scale, apparently. Well, that's gotta go. The top of Muttering Rock is about 200 degrees, or 93 degrees Celsius -- leagues hotter than anything ever recorded on Earth.

Abeke seems to have scar tissue pain, possibly due to nerve damage, from the stab wound Tahlia dealt her in Fire and Ice. She mentions that even though it has mostly healed, she still experiences pain there, particularly in colder weather. If only this hadn't been forgotten by the next book -- it would have been super interesting, in my opinion, to see one of our protagonists deal with lasting effects from an injury they received.

Meilin referring to Shane as Abeke's "Conqueror boyfriend" has been occupying space in my head since 2015. We should have had more of this energy. (I need to have one of the Conquerors or Redcloaks call Abeke Shane's Greencloak girlfriend in return. Drina most definitely would.)

Kalani and her people share similarities with the Māori of Earth. They have the same tattoos and concept of tapu.

Tangaroa is the name of the Māori atua (god) of the sea. I love finding little references to the Earth culture a region of Erdas was inspired by. They did the same with Tiddalik, Tahlia's water-holding frog, who shares a name with the real-life Australian legend he is based on.

I wish Abeke had gotten the chance to see Leopard, the baby orangutan, again. They were so sweet. Also, the authors should have kept this habit she has of rescuing baby animals going for longer. Picture this: She encounters something a little more deadly this time. Dotes on it for a bit and nurses it back to health or helps it find its way back to its family. It remembers how Abeke helped it, and in her hour of need comes to her rescue.

At least there's a cleansing ceremony (this presumably refers to noa) to rid someone of tapu. Now why didn't the authors have Kalani do this for Rollan in The Evertree instead of having her go against her beliefs for his sake? Man... I should have been in the writers' room.

"This quest is leaving a lot of burned bridges in our wake. I fear we, and perhaps all Greencloaks by extension, will no longer be so welcome afterwards in places like this." YES! Finally, someone considers the consequences of their actions. It's back to "the ends justify the means" in the next paragraph, but at least there was this fleeting moment of realization.

Nightshade Island was wiped from the world maps after the First Devourer War, along with Stetriol. I wonder if there were other places associated with the Conquerors and/or Kovo and Gerathon that were deemed "tainted" and erased from the history books. This also prompts a nitpick from me -- I wish the maps shown at the beginning of each book were more tailored to the book/arc. They added the Evertree and the Petral Mountain range in the second arc, which is great, but I want a whole lot more of that detail. In the first arc, the map could have had Stetriol missing from it. We could have had its first appearance on Immortal Guardians's map, once the Greencloaks could deny their existence no longer. Other important locations deserved to be on there too, maybe being added book by book. Glengavin. The Lake of the Elephant. Samis (perhaps disappearing without further comment after Fire and Ice). Cabaro's oasis. Muttering Rock. Zourtzi. The Place of Desolation. The list goes on. They all deserved to be put on the maps! I rest my case!

Meilin casually saying "I can still control Jhi" sent a shiver down my spine. It's so out of place. Like, how can she have spent so much time with the Greencloaks and still be so fundamentally wrong about the spirit animal bond?

So Timote was the heir to the Hundred Isles before the Conquerors captured him. And knowing how male-dominated monarchies work, the other brother, Piri, would likely have taken the throne before Kalani even if he is younger than her. The Conquerors knew what they were doing by killing the previous rulers and taking their two male children hostage. They wanted to leave the Hundred Islanders leaderless. To totally incapacitate them. I bet they were in for a shock when Kalani proved her capability as queen.

Feliandor is wearing a red cloak in Rollan's vision. Most certainly a throwaway detail, but it didn't stop me from sitting up and pointing at the page when I read it.

Rollan sees something vaguely familiar in Feliandor's face, and we have to wait an entire book before learning that he must have been reminded of Shane, his descendant. Seriously, the foreshadowing for multiple big events in the first arc is really well done. I love discovering all the little hints pointing towards Shane being the true Devourer, or Meilin being the mole. This is one thing the many authors successfully worked together on.

While the vision on Nightshade Island is one of my favourite parts of the book, something bugs me about it. Why did only Rollan have this vision? Despite Tarik and Meilin being right beside him as it happened, neither of them saw what he did. It would have been a lot better if they all had the same vision at once. If the echoes of what happened on that island centuries earlier still linger, shouldn't they appear to anyone who visits? Why would it only be one person out of three?

Peleke, the Komodo dragon, poses a brief threat to Abeke, Conor and Kalani on Sunlight Island. Except... his species should go by a different name in this world. Komodo dragons were named as such because they originate from Komodo Island on planet Earth. This is such an easy fix. Just name any one of the Hundred Isles and have the species come from there.

Abeke instinctively knows how to ride Uraza, despite it being her first time doing so. Was she Tembo in another life? Kidding. She is his direct descendant in ARHoE, though.

God, the scene with Tarik saying goodbye to the Four and begging them to come back to him haunts me. Tarik will never see Abeke or Meilin again, and he will die not knowing if they are alive or dead. He will die believing that he failed them.

I'm really glad to see some development of Tarik here. For all his appearances and importance to our protagonists, he is quite a flat character. But here, we get a good look into his headspace. He loves the Four deeply, like a father should love his children. He doesn't want them to go where he can't protect them. He wonders if the Greencloaks are doing the right thing by sending such young people into battles they might not return from, still thinking about what Barlow said all the way back in Wild Born. I need to see more of this Tarik.

I've talked about this before, but I love all the moments that suggest the Four Fallen will one day return to their old forms. I don't believe this would happen in their human partners' lifetimes, but in any case, it would be cool to see it come to pass.

Despite both Mulop and Briggan being visionary Great Beasts, neither of them foresaw Kovo using Feliandor to start a war. How convenient for him.

Abeke is able to spot Shane in the mass of Conquerors by his blond hair, which makes me wonder: What if blond people were considered a rarity in Erdas? What if golden hair was a trait exclusive to Stetriol, and most of the world had never seen it before? That would be kind of fun. (Yes, I know there's Conor, but he's more of a redhead in ARHoE.)

"Not far below her, Uraza was grappling with a huge doglike creature that Abeke thought might be a dingo." I know it's mentioned a few paragraphs later that Tarik used books to teach her about animals that were foreign to her (which is really cute), but dingoes are native to Stetriol, which the Greencloaks effectively erased from existence. There are probably no encyclopedias still in circulation that include Stetriolan flora or fauna. My headcanon is that Shane told Abeke about the animals that are native to his homeland, and that's how she knows about dingoes.

"She drew her bow back and aimed, trying to ignore her thudding heart. The man stood on an outcropping, shouting orders at the fighters scrambling up behind him. Her sharp arrow tip was pointed directly down at Zerif's heart." The way this scene directly parallels Abeke's attempt to shoot infected Zerif in The Burning Tide... wow. Ignoring canon and thinking of ARHoE where she does kill him in the end, this was written in the stars. It is her destiny.

"Stabbing, scratching pain seared through her, but she gained control of one hand --" So resisting Gerathon's mind control can cause physical pain. Interesting.

I know Rollan was kind of forced to leave Meilin, but couldn't he have swooped in on Great Essix and carried Abeke out of there AT LEAST? Not even Meilin can fight a giant gyrfalcon.

Gerathon is not any good at controlling people, damn. Maybe she's rusty after so many years.

This was a great read, as they all are. It was a nice refresher after Fire and Ice, with all the callbacks to what our heroes had faced in the previous books. Seriously, Fire and Ice was a mess in terms of continuity. But Tui understood the assignment. My favourite parts of this one were the beautiful butch lesbian that is Kalani, Abeke becoming mom to another baby animal and riding Great Uraza Tembo-style, the Feliandor vision and Mulop, ever a delight to read. I really enjoyed the people and culture of Oceanus; so excited for Kalani to reappear in the coming books. And, of course, the reveal of Meilin being the mole all along was utterly perfect. The amount of thought and planning that went into this decision, the layers of foreshadowing building up to this horrible truth... it deserves all the praise.

We're at the lowest point we've ever been, and it's about to get even lower.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[the-lunar-library]

I wish I could read my books.

Right now I'm on the fourth draft of the Next Book, which I love -- so far, it's my favorite thing I've ever written. At this stage, despite the work of editing, reading it is very much a pleasure to me.

Going by history, that won't always be the case.

Part of the process of editing, for me at least, is getting fed up with reading and rereading the same words. That's not what I'm talking about. That's a passing thing, temporary.

What I've found, having published the first two books, is that I can't pick them up in their lovely book forms with their pretty covers and their nice formatting and all of that and sit down and read them. As books, not manuscripts.

Which is sad, because I feel like that was part of the fantasy pre-publishing -- here's my book, finished, I get to relax and read it the same way I relax and read other people's books. But I haven't even attempted that. Even the idea of it just drives that hope of relaxing right out of me.

Rereading the manuscript? Relaxing. Rereading my fanfics once they're posted on AO3? Relaxing. Rereading my published book? Not a chance, move along, brain, it's time to think about something else.

I'm guessing as to why, but I think it's two factors.

The first is that the books are more personal to me than the fanfics. This isn't a judgment on quality or work involved, but just how personal the story is to me. I think detaching is often a big part of relaxing, escapism, so the books' intimacy with me makes that harder.

The second, and maybe the bigger thing, is the feeling of permanence. The manuscript is, by definition, something I can still change. A fic on AO3 can be edited in less than a minute if there's something I need to change, and it's not a big deal.

But a published book? Granted, I'm self-published. It's still possible to edit one of my books, though it would involve a lot more steps -- it's not a matter of opening one file and making a change and pressing Post.

But by the time a book is published, I've finalized characters and arcs I've been working on for years, I've formatted everything, I've bought the ISBN and slapped it in place. Can edits still be made? Yes. It is in the realm of things that can be done. If the edit is small enough, the ISBN can still be preserved. Maybe I won't need to reformat the cover. I will have to adjust the manuscript again. But.

But by the time I publish, my brain is telling me the book is done. It's not going back. It's not being changed.

To me, it's very important that once a book is done, it's done. I'm free to move on to the next project. I'm not just allowed to let go, I'm supposed to.

And I think it's that feeling that I'm no longer creating the book, I'm not "fixing" anything anymore -- I'm no longer in control of the book? -- that makes it hard for me to just sit back and enjoy the end product.

I hope so much that other people can kick back and enjoy my books the way I kick back and enjoy other people's books. Even if I never have the opportunity to read my books like that, I would still want to write them. Writing them means so much to me.

But I do hope that, some day, years down the line when these books no longer feel so close to me, I can kick back and relax with them too.

[thezolblade]

rl and fandom update

Fatigue's been getting better in the last year or so, with at least one cause identified. Since I've gone from a few years of barely managing much, to gradually starting to get a bit more energy to walk around for a few hours per day, I keep trying to do things and tiring myself out, and then napping and zoning out rather than getting other things done too.

Switched my laptop and the old family computer over to linux, to avoid forced copilot on one, and make the other usable again after windows 8 end of life. I may have lost some files despite my best efforts. Backing things up and following the process took a lot of time despite the process being as straightforward as it could be, and I love linux but I'm still picking it up. I wish I'd had that time for other things when there was so much else going on. Hate windows so much for forcing all that bullshit, but at least I've gotten rid of it now.

Goal next year is to retain more energy until the evenings so I can really get back to fun things that require focus. Fandom's been partly on the backburner; on good weeks I've managed to focus on short projects, but I haven't been able to maintain a focus on long projects. The list of games/books/shows/writing that I want to get back to feels motivating, like I'm reminding myself that whenever I have any time, there are still lots of things where I can feel some enthusiasm, even if I can't get through them all quickly like a to-do list. Gathering thoughts on the main ones:

Disco Elysium

When I played it in 2019, it was really good, but parts of it were slightly too much in a grim way, like the death notice; I remember thinking that I wanted to replay, but I needed a gap first.

Heard about the Sacred and Terrible Air fantranslation this year and took that as a cue to replay, and this time it's been fantastic. Knowing what's coming takes some of the bite out of the rough parts, along with getting invested enough to want to explore all the dialogue options to see the characters from all angles. Kim gets so sassy and creative when Harry fucks up. The playthroughs are going slowly but I've seen almost everything that I kept getting spoiled on when I slipped into reading fic earlier in the year. I've made it through a few chapters of the book pdf, it's heavy going though. To be continued.

FFVII

Picked up the reboot, it feels odd to be so late to the party with my fave game. To play when I have the energy for sitting up with the steam deck, rather than resting with something turn-based open on a laptop.

TMA

So so many wips that I want to finish, but I'm still reeling from getting put off from season 4 onwards. That got pretty tangled with pandemic stress, at the same time it was getting unfun and I couldn't get another interest to catch alight the same way to take my mind off things. The wip files are long enough I need a bit of focus back to tackle them.

Now the TMP sequel's out too, and I lost all interest when I found out that Jonah Magnus is still a character, despite the show sounding at first like a universe where he was killed off for real and other characters actually, finally, get to drive the plot with their own character arcs in a cathartic way, instead of everyone just rattling around where they're trapped the whole time. I'll probably read a summary at some point, as it does stuff with characters from TMA, and falling out of date with the canon really shows in fanworks. Don't feel like it yet.

Golden Sun

Every few years I've gone back the to longfic WIP that's still on fanfic.net and spent a few weeks trying to reread/edit/get past the block point, before getting tired out and taking a break from it again.

Lately I'm thinking, I always had point A at the start and point C at the end planned out, but getting there with the long detour through point B, well, that's the part where I'm stuck, and where a lot of the old writing that makes me wince is, which I keep changing without quite being happy with it, and which I can't cut for the way the plot hangs together. So maybe I should just cut out the side plot that takes up most of point B, even though what's posted is all setup so far and it was going to be the payoff next, and there are parts I really like. It'd make the fic much shorter, to go straight from points A to C; chapter 4 or 5 would move on to one or two chapters of wrapping things up, in a relatively quick and easy way for the characters. No big parts for Sheba and Ivan, no flashbasks to the heroes' history from Sheba's pov. I probably won't manage to finish it otherwise, so it's worth a try. Need to wait until I have some time off work to take a run at it.

PMMM

I still need to watch magia record, and read some of the comics... It's been too long since I've rewatched my fave show.

Harvest Moon / Rune Factory / Stardew Valley / Pokemon / indie relaxing games

Relaxation. Gotta pick them up again before I forget where I was up to.

Slay the Pricess

Play the Pristine Cut, and try the Disco Elysium crossover mod.

Fallen London

Nice to have a browser game on my phone. I keep putting off progress with the stories that'll shed some light on the lore, for a better day. Intriguing world anyway.

Omori, Deltarune, Dredge

Play more when my sister visits, and when she's not tired out from work too. Good to have some shared activities.

Fire Emblem 3 Houses

Finish the last route... I don't have to replay the shared chapters again at this point, just finish the blue route...

Saiyuki

See how many more of the comics are out in English than, uh, more than 10 years ago.

Avatar last airbender & korra

Catch up with the comics.

Arcane

Almost through season 2, TV evenings with my parents. Pretty effects. Kinda makes me want to know more, but I don't think I'll ever play league of legends. Maybe something to expore via youtube someday.

Star Trek

I watched ToS with my parents last year. Next, time to watch all the next gen episodes that I somehow never caught when it was on TV growing up, even though watching whatever was on meant I saw some episodes 2 or 3 times. And there's that new short film going around.

[inukag]

Hi! I'm a huge fan of your blog. I'm new on tumblr and I couldn't be happier that I found you!

Anyway, I have just reread Inuyasha (this time more thoroughly) and it dawned on me that the story between Jinenji and Kagome was somewhat identical to that of Inuyasha and Kikyou.

I think Jinenji's feeling for Kagome can help explain well how Inuyasha felt about Kikyou.

Kagome was the first girl to show Jinenji happiness, his heart was warm when he was with her. I don't think Jinenji's feeling for Kagome was as intense as Inuyasha's for Kikyou, since Jinenji still had his mother around while Inuyasha had no one before he met Kikyou. Not to mention that Jinenji only spent like one day with Kagome. However, it was enough for Jinenji to admit that he wouldn't be able to go on living if he let Kagome die.

And the same goes for Inuyasha. He could never afford letting Kikyou die in his presence, just like Jinenji couldn't let Kagome die. Yet not only did Kikyou die, but Inuyasha was also TOLD that her death was partly his fault. Having seen how Jinenji felt, I can easily understand how depressed Inuyasha was about Kikyou and why he was always eager to know whether Kikyou was safe or not.

Inuyasha's feeling for Kikyou was not really... special or exclusive. Anyone in his position (in this case it's Jinenji) would feel the same way. I think it started out as affection and gratitude. However for Inuyasha it was coupled with the guilt that he "caused" Kikyou's death. All the more reasons why he wasn't able to forget about Kikyou. To be honest, I used to be so frustrated whenever he ran to Kikyou's side. But now, with the help of the Jinenji arc, his actions were quite understandable. I'm glad he'll always have Kagome by his side to heal his wounded heart.

Well that's my take. What's your thought on the Jinenji arc?

(So sorry for the very late response! thank you for the love 🥺 and welcome to tumblr!)

That's an interesting comparison, I never really thought of that because Inuyasha himself never seem to put that much importance to Kikyo being his "first". The only time I remember him mentioning it is when she dies, but even then most important factor that drives Inuyasha when it comes to Kikyo is his guilt (as you said, he was led to believe that Kikyo's death was his fault). Some people in this fandom do try to argue that since Kikyo is Inuyasha's first love, that makes her special and irreplaceable in Inuyasha's heart... but we see nothing of the sort in canon. Very early on in the series, back when Inuyasha still thought Kikyo had betrayed him, he promised himself he "wouldn't be swayed by a woman again" and we've seen him try to distance himself from Kagome by fear of getting hurt again, but him loving Kikyo before didn't stop him from falling in love with Kagome a mere few weeks/months after he initially found out that Kikyo was dead. He also never had any issue stating that Kagome was the first person he ever trusted, the first person to make him happy, the person he owes everything to and the person he was born to be with. In fact Inuyasha... never really says anything positive about his relationship with Kikyo. His best memory of their time together is him agreeing to be human to be with her, which we now know wouldn't even have worked because the jewel doesn't actually grant your wish. Kikyo was the first person to approach him and give him a chance, but at the cost of half of his identity. She gave him one option, the option to choose his human side, which he eventually realized wasn't necessary. That doesn't make his relationship with Kikyo insignificant of course, but there's nothing particularly special about it either that he can't get with Kagome.

Also, Inuyasha is extremely honor bound and despite his earlier claims that he "doesn't have time to save innocents" he is very much a savior who wants to help people in need. I raise an eyebrow when people claim that his dedication to wanting to save Kikyo from dying again is "proof" that he loves her "more than Kagome" because Inuyasha was also desperate to save Kohaku and he was heartbroken when Naraku seemingly managed to kill him..

He also felt guilty when Kagura died after he promised he'd tried to get her heart back from Naraku! Kagura, an incarnation of Naraku and someone who almost killed him before!

People who don't like Inuyasha and label him as a "two-timer" who "just can't get over his ex" don't understand just how good-hearted Inuyasha is. Inuyasha is a protector, that's his thing. His inability to protect Kikyo from Naraku is probably his greatest failure, asking him to just "get over it" because he has a new girlfriend is insane to me.

Anyway, I also wanted to mention that what I personally love about the Jinenji arc is that Jinenji's affection for Kagome and the way Kagome gained his trust pretty much parallel Kagome's relationship with Inuyasha. I mean, this arc was all about Inuyasha realizing that being by Kagome's side is were he belongs, and that he’s loved and accepted as a hanyo (something he never felt while being with Kikyo).

Kagome tried to befriend Jinenji and stood by him when he was called a monster, just like she did with Inuyasha:

Kagome asked Jinenji questions about himself and cared about what he wants to do, just like she did with Inuyasha: 

For both Jinenji and Inuyasha, Kagome was the first person to shed tears for them other than their mothers:

Jinenji experiencing warmth in his heart for the first time is very reminiscent of Inuyasha feeling relieved and content for the first time because of Kagome’s smile:

Like I said, those are not comparisons that can be made with how Kikyo treated Inuyasha, as she never really tried to learn more about him to understand what he truly needed and wanted. She never defended him against bigots who judged him, instead she thought changing him to fit human society would be easier. Inuyasha felt “like he did something wrong” at the sight of Kikyo’s sad face, he never felt happiness like he feels with Kagome and like Jinenji feels with her as well. 

So those are my thoughts on the Jinenji arc and how it parallels Inuyasha's feelings for Kagome!

[bbq-potato-chip]

What’s your favorite part of Demon Slayer?

OK SO

This is so hard because there are so many parts that are just so good but I’ll try to narrow it down!!!

(kny manga spoilers so watch out !!🚨)

I loved the part in season three where Nezuko conquered the sun and I lived the part when the Kamaboko squad worked together in the red light district arc, I loved seeing them work together when they were fight Daki n gyotaro!

but I’d say the infinity castle arc is just so good as a whole!!! That arc is so good I’ve reread it multiple times, from the kaigaku versus zen battle, shinobu death and the douma battle ,akazas backstory, and then genya…I remember reading his death scene and I started to cry…They weren’t kidding that backstory can tragic…

I really loved the Zenitsu versus kaigaku battle because my boy zen has GLOWED UP ⬆️ 💡🔪💛 but I’m always like WHERES THE REST OF IT WHY WAS KAIGAKU THAT WAY!!!GOTOGUE YOU GOTTA GIVE ME MORE !!! I need to back n read that again but that’s probably be one of my favorite moments even though I do feel like there could have been more! I just wish we could have gotten to see more of their relationship and what kaigaku’s whole Deal(tm) was (I have got to put an analysis post together about that battle. I will figure it out I promise you all I WILL connect those dots!!!) but. Still one of my favorite moments !

And of course the inosuke + kanao battle against douma! (GET HIS ASS!!!) It was such a good moment to see kanao rlly grow as a character as well as inosukes backstory which was neat! Kanao is probably one of the best female characters in shonen that I’ve seen (I will NOT stand for any kanao hate 🔫) I just. I love her so much one day I am going to write a post about her character arc I just. I could ramble on abt her but I am going to hold myself back atm

Anyway I know these are like. Multiple moments so I hope that’s ok!!! I just love like . The infinity castle arc like as one big thing I love how you can see how our characters grow (esp kanao n Zenitsu but the others as well!)

but also in terms of like. Just things that make me happy would probably be the first epilogue chapter, I just love the fact that our main guys get to be happy and live together…it’s found family at its finest…I remember when i first read it I went insane it’s just so important to me that they are happy in the end especially because of my lonely guy Zenitsu FINALLY finding people that care about him it’s just…so…I love it I love it so much!!!

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 30)

Today we'll talk about love and confessions and agency. More specifically, I'll discuss a little about Mikan's love for Natsume and her inability to voice it out loud.

This is my NM essay so there's no multi-shipping, in this part more than any other. I say that so y'all can know. In my opinion, this arc has Mikan making a choice and I respect that more than anything. I'm with Ruka about defending her agency and the fact that she does choose.

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Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Two

Hotaru tells Mikan to go on without her. She wants to stay there for Subaru, to ask him questions and find out more about him, to be siblings like he’d suggested before she went on her time trip. They hadn’t had the chance to really bond, since he’d been trying to protect her this whole time. This is her chance to support him and she can’t pass it up.

And yes, that means saying good-bye to Mikan, for who knows how long.

So Mikan and Hotaru hug, and then Hotaru kisses her, in front of everyone, and tells her she loves her. “More than you think I do.” 

Well, I guess I have to analyze this. I’m hesitant because I actually don’t know how.

When I read this the first dozen times, the kiss never came across as particularly romantic to me because I didn’t really see much suggestion that there was genuine romance between them--just jokes, especially in the earlier chapters. I don’t especially like thinking that Hotaru is in love with Mikan because that’s another person for me to feel sorry for, just like Ruka, and also because I don’t really like when stories have every character in love with one person. But! That seems to be what’s happening.

Mikan will receive a few love confessions tonight and she really only responds to one (though not yet). Again, I’m not a multishipper, but I’m genuinely sorry, Hotaru. I wish for nothing but your happiness. I prefer, personally, to read Mikan and Hotaru’s relationship as entirely platonic, kind of how I prefer Ruka and Mikan too. That’s just how I roll. It makes things easier on my fragile soul.

Mikan only reacts with confusion, so it seems like it came out of nowhere for her as well. For all her getting overwhelmed with romance, she hadn't expected any romance from Hotaru's direction. Generally, this moment passes and isn't addressed again.

Such a shame to always save your most important and genuine feelings for goodbyes. Take a lesson from this, kids. Tell people you love them, not because you're leaving or because they are, but just because you love them.

They have to teleport again, in any case, and Mikan has to leave her best friend behind. She can’t even hear everything Hotaru is saying, but she can’t go back. 

Mikan, having teleported once more, starts to cry. And that makes sense! Because the theme here is loss, and she keeps having to say good-bye to people she loves, not knowing when she’ll see them again. But despite her tears being entirely understandable, Mikan apologizes for always crying, like it’s weak of her to feel so much. She promises to become stronger, but that’s silly because she already is strong. She just witnessed so much pain in only one night and is still standing, still fighting hard, refusing to give up. Is that not strength?

Are you not strong already? I don't get it.

Even Hotaru was crying as they were separated, even though Mikan still wishes she could be strong like her, so is that not strength? 

Mikan loves Hotaru too and always has and promises to see her again, that their bond won’t break, echoing Hotaru’s same words. 

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Three

I regretfully won’t be discussing the Imai siblings’ scene, though I did just reread it and sobbed my eyes out as is my duty everytime I read this chapter. Mikan isn’t there, so. We move on.

Mikan’s having a rough go of it, but the night is not over yet.

Tono suggests they split up. It’s the best idea right now. Ruka and Mikan should teleport away, and with only one person to protect instead of many, the barrier alice stone won’t be as much of a burden on him. The rest of them will fight off pursuers and keep them distracted. It’s time. The end of the night is approaching.

There isn’t even time for a real good-bye, which is why they had the alice-stone gifting earlier, I suppose. They all knew there wouldn’t be much time later on. Mikan is sad to have to leave Tsubasa, Tono, and Natsume (!, which his name in a little bubble all its own so we know he’s different, yet again) without even saying a proper good-bye, but Ruka is already taking his duty seriously, pulling Mikan away so they can teleport. 

Don't save things for the last minute! Just love people just because!

But the telepathy alice comes in handy again. No, it’s not helpful in the battles. It doesn’t help with healing or protection. But Mikan can hear someone saying her name, and it’s not her mom this time.

Mikan is floored by this, her eyes welling with tears as she catches Natsume’s gaze. 

“A feeling so strong, intense, and painful… Almost like a scream.”

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four

At the start of this night, what feels like so long ago, Natsume told a room full of enemies that he loves Mikan. He proved it time and time again in the hours that followed. He confessed he wanted to stay by her side forever, that he’d always protect her, and he prioritized her safety all night. 

And she never said it back. 

But this is different. This isn’t just words; she can literally feel how he feels for her. She is overwhelmed by it, and saying good-bye while leaving it like that is now impossible. The fact that he has her pebble alice stone is no longer enough. “Me too” isn’t enough.

She still doesn’t say it out loud, but she admits it to herself and to us, for the first time in this whole manga, that she loves him too. And our handy telepathy alice conveys these powerful feelings to Natsume too, so that he finally knows her answer. 

It’s so interesting that Mikan only responds when she literally feels his love for her firsthand. It’s not his words or thoughts that break her resolve; it’s his actual emotions, and she’s able to answer only then, knowing now that their love for each other is entirely requited, when she’s unable to leave him without admitting it.

And that’s huge--obviously--because we’ve watched Mikan this whole time, watched her deny and push down her feelings for him, watched her skirt the subject, not even confiding to us how she feels. But she can’t keep it up anymore. His feelings completely shatter her resolve--his painful, sorrowful, powerful feelings, the ones she reciprocates.

Another favorite page of mine. I just love Natsume's heart-wrenching expression.

“I love you so much,” she thinks before teleporting away with Ruka.

Loss.

Mikan didn’t want to leave Natsume or her senpais, but she knows she has to, and it’s best to leave before she can’t will herself to anymore, after she’s done the difficult, vulnerable thing and confessed. She didn’t want either of them to suffer with the knowledge of her feelings, but it’s too late now. She had to let him know, even if it was only telepathically.

Whereas Mikan was able to swear that she and Hotaru would always be together, even if they were separated, Mikan’s parting thought to Natsume is the same thought that united them at the start of the night: “I don’t want us to be apart.” Mikan knows Natsume is sick, that he’s dying, that he’s careless with his alice. She doesn’t know when she’ll be free to see him again, and there’s a good chance she might never see him again, because he might die. She doesn’t want to part from him now, because if she does, it’ll probably be forever.

Mikan and Ruka have successfully teleported to a safe place, giving Mikan one more well-needed breather before the night gets even worse. Ruka is concerned for her, but Mikan can’t stop crying. But she gets up so they can keep moving until Ruka collapses. She suggests they rest for a while, but Ruka feels insecure, like a burden, like he’s holding not only her but everyone else back because he’s too weak to protect Mikan the way he should. 

Mikan doesn’t feel that way and is just concerned for his well-being. He’s certainly not weak. 

He's just the sweetest and most perfect of the main four, I think.

But it’s his turn to confess, telling her with his head in his hands that he loves her, and immediately following his confession up with an apology because he’d never meant to say it. Mikan is--again--touched and heartbroken for him, saddened because she’d always known, deep down, but didn’t know how to address it. But Ruka assures her that he will always be hoping that she and Natsume find each other again, that they can be happy together. He just confessed, but he needs her to know that he supports her and Natsume, that he holds no grudges, that he just wants both of them to be happy. 

(I can’t believe some fics have Ruka act entitled and jealous when this boy has always been a sweetheart. I’m so mad about it.)

Mikan may not love Ruka romantically, but she does love him, and, overcome with this affection, she hugs him. Though Ruka admonishes her for babying him, he clearly holds no hard feelings that she isn’t able to reciprocate. He’s energized by this, by the fact that he was finally able to say it, and he holds out her hand for them to finally meet Yuka after all this time. Mikan smiles as they go, happy to have his support and affection, even if it looks different from hers.

Mikan has been confessed to three times tonight. All verbally.

Natsume starts the night off strong, announcing his feelings to a whole room, including Mikan. He’s brave; he says the words.

Hotaru tells Mikan she loves her in front of their friends. She’s brave; after all this time where she kept her emotions behind an iron coldness, she says the words.

Ruka tells Mikan with his fingers hiding his face, but he still says it, even without an audience, even knowing she doesn’t feel the same. He decides to be brave and says the words.

I love the Mikan and Ruka friendship. I think they're superior with the platonic lens but maybe that's just me (I know plenty of y'all agree with me, actually).

Mikan couldn’t say the words; she only thought them. I’m not saying she’s not brave, because even just admitting it to herself took a lot, but it’s interesting that she doesn’t say it out loud. She has to be brave about so many things, but this heavily guarded secret, something so vulnerable and volatile she couldn’t even admit it to herself, is still too fragile to be spoken out loud.

Conclusion

I know I could include more but I'll finish this arc next time.

Mikan has been confessed to by three people tonight but only Natsume gets romantic reciprocity, even if it's telepathic. Going forward, Mikan's feelings and her struggle voicing them will be important thematically.

I'll see y'all next time!

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[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

ok trying to go over the year’s reads in chronological order i am just spitballing and none of this is good reviewwork

house of leaves — it’s house of leaves what do you want me to say. there was a house of leaves. genuinely really love it but i’ve started to form this semihearted grudge against it because it’s like The One Weird Book everyone recommends and it kind of clouds discussion of other ergodic lit LOL it’s for good reason though there’s nothing else quite like it

kafka on the shore — book that i need to finish actually i’ve still got a chunk of it undone…. honestly might just restart it altogether i don’t remember much of the plot since i started it in like february. but augh. i remember it feeling very smooth to read. pacing of it was extremely stilted in a way that like. i thought was quite cool actually. loved the way it split its perspectives

ulysses — read through a few chapters before i kind of just dropped it unintentionally. really want to get back to it it’s just. impenetrable if i’m not giving it my full and utmost attention lol

a streetcar named desire — reiterating something i said ages ago which is “i could not fucking care less about what tennessee williams’ plays are about but goddamn if they’re not extremely inspiring in the way they’re composed and conveyed” or something like that

the like first 2 books of the new wc arc go inbetween here chronologically…. they’re not as fun as the last arc enough so that i’ve decided i don’t care about those cats anymore lol. complete slog that makes me wish for the days of cat hell possession conflicts instead of weird love triangles or whatever

wonderbook — really good…. i mean it’s literally a “guide” but it feels much more like just a ‘manifesto’ of how a story can be good. it was a really fun read as someone who’s never really been too impressed by common writing advice and who has also never really gotten engrossed in writing circles with other people…. kind of book that feels valuable to both people who are freshly getting into writing and more experienced writers. definitely helped me name and put pressure on elements of my own writing and composition that was just fully instinct-driven prior. it’s good.

tainaron — aughhhh i’ve reread this one like thrice this year…. i’ve fucking yelled about it before on my blog so many times and i’m just restating what i’ve said before which is go look up tainaron and read it it’s like 70 pages it’s just posted online by the original author and it’s a wonderful time. bugs can be both scary and beautiful. you will realise this. ❤️

sphinx or robot — from the same author! this one’s also fun but just not as satisfactory or unified as tainaron imo. nother good short bout though

a midsummer night’s dream — i don’t like shakespeate. dint care.

if on a winter’s night a traveller — hol-like in that it kind of clouds discussion of ergodic lit but once again i kind of get it. honestly this feels like a really good digestible intro to such styles id definitely recommend it with the caveat of like. “be ready for useless background misogyny throughout”. the whole premise grants it a really slick pace love the idea of uniting unfinished ‘chapters’ of stories together…. will forever be thinking about leaning from the steep slope and wishing it was a fully fledged novel though

the castle of crossed destinies — another calvino work. once again love this guy’s prose although i wish he wrote women better LOL uhhh honestly just a really good bite sized bit of weird allegorical literature it’s so much more obtuse and “dry” than ioawnat but i feel like the framing device and style make up for the kind of nothing plot. i suppose that’s kind of the point of it as well….

strassburg’s tristan — currently reading through it and halfway across! specifically the hatto translation which i’m like most definitively marking as some of the most beautiful prose i’ve ever read LOL style of it feels like wading through water

shit that’s on my reading list and that i want to go through soon also….

already started vandermeer’s ambergris trilogy i think i just started and forgot to ever finish city of saints and madmen. fun style though

the complete cosmicomics — again sifted through a bit of the beginning it feels like an even more sludgy set of calvino works than castle of crossed destinies was. but it’s enchanting regardless and i’ll probably read it and like it. i’m lame!

this is how you lose the time war — been on my list for ages i’ve seen excerpts i’ve liked….

piranesi — when rocks have a shape they can be anything in the world or whatever i’m sure this book will say it in a cool way

the seagull — i’m really struggling to find interesting plays that are not about divorce or uninteresting melodrama and this one still applies im sure but from what i’ve read it does so in an interesting way LOL

pale fire — to complete the set of “weird books nobody will shut up about being weird” i need to get to this one. 👍

[psychewritesbs]

even though I do not mind the weekly or bi weekly chapter releases and enjoy them, I kind of wish I would wake up one day and the final chapter of jjk would be here lol

I mean this as like the time left with the series is fast forwarded. I don't like rushing in any context, but I feel like I want to know the ending before I fall out of love with the series. I've enjoyed what gege has given in the story so far, but there is plenty of choices I would say I do not agree with imo. He seems like he has a vision of how things need to go, but getting there seems to have some issues. I also kind of hate it when authors say they want to end the story especially when it feels like it will be rushed, and is JJK's case it's sometimes hard to enjoy the story after its been said bc I'm just wondering if we're spending too much time on one thing before we need to move to the next point, but I'll still try to see the story's good and the bad and enjoy what I can. I'm going to reread the culling game arc soon, but I feel like those first fights were about gaining allies, but I can say I wasn't expecting it to go like that if that was the intention. I don't mind kenjaku having secret plans bc it's obvious when it comes to them, but I feel as though that plan overshadowed the point of the cg?? I thought there would be more focus of to kill or not, etc and I see that the most for megumi and yuji (they had my fav colony battles), and I get it somewhat with yuta, but I dont see it too importantly with hakari or maki. I'm going to reread the arc regardless because I can always be confused or a bit slower in catching on so forgive me if my insight is lackluster. I liked the running themes during yuki vs kenjaku, but her "death" felt very unnecessary because she seemed really important in achieving a curse free world and idk about you but that seems like an important goal imo and yeah someone else could lead that charge but what was wrong with yuki doing that? I don't know, but I can only hope the remaining part of the story alongside its ending is something not only we can gain some satisfaction with, but the author too can look back and say, "hey it was pretty good at least"

Gege doesn't seem to drop the ball too much with Yuji or at least megumi too, and I'm not too worried since they're my characters of interest currently, but I want to reread this story and actually believe it when I say I thought all the cast was good and I believe the writing can be better or can get worse (idk) but time will tell it all. I'm a recurring anon, so I'm sorry if the apologies are constant and sound like emails at the end 😅

Dear Recurring Anon,

HOLA! Thanks for being my recurring anon and reaching out again!

Ok but listen... I’ve been sitting on your ask for a while thinking of what I wanted to say and how to say it. I’ve probably started 3 different drafts for my response. So thanks for your patience!

Truth of the matter is that when I read your words, what it comes down to is that, even though you don’t like the recent direction the manga has taken, Jujutsu Kaisen still holds an important place in your heart. 

So I think the most important question to keep in mind is that, in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the most overwhelming sense of self... where does your sense of self stand in all of this?

What do you want to take with you from JJK? 

The stuff you didn’t like because it didn’t live up to your expectations? 

Or the stuff you loved even though JJK was incredibly flawed?

Of course there’s more word vomit under the cut lol... you know how I roll.

I’ll start by asking you to forgive me if I’m wrong and you just really needed a container where your thoughts on the current state of JJK would be honored and acknowledged. The truth is that I totally get where you’re coming from. 

I do. 

I hear you.

It’s just that it’s in my perhaps annoying nature to be stupidly optimistic even when I am being a realist. There’s always a silver lining to everything if you are willing to make the effort to find it. 

So, yes, I agree, and I’m also going to challenge you to find a way to continue loving JJK if that’s what you want for yourself.

That said... lets get on with the bitching lol.

Problems with JJK, problems everywhere!

Your concern regarding the pacing in the story is something that I share with you. Most especially the concern that, moving forward, Gege is going to cut corners. I’d also say that at this point this “concern” is factually canon lol. 

I also agree so much with the sentiment of “is he taking too much time on this when he should be addressing this other plot point?” And I think nothing captures that dilemma quite like the Culling Game arc does--ESPECIALLY with the way he handled the chosoyuki ordeal.

Like we got pages upon pages of all of these characters and exposition and dialogue and like... wait, what was the point of the Culling Game again? 

Why has no one died yet?! 

Why is Yuta kissing a cockroach and why are Kashi-chan and Kin-chan trying to see who has the biggest ego (pun intended)? 

Like I swear for weeks I've been like “ok it’s going down!!!! yeah here comes the angst and the deaths aaaaaaand ok never mind then.... maybe next chapter? ok.... next chapter? ok next chapter for sure. no? next chapter?”

FOR WEEKS! It’s all recorded in my chapter liveblogs lol.

Truth is, to me, the Culling Game is a weird arc because I am still trying to understand its significance within the larger Jujutsu scheme of things.

Perhaps he bit more than he could chew with the Culling Game? And as a writer myself I find this kind of relatable. I’m actually seeing what is happening with JJK and taking note of how having too many themes and plot lines can ultimately be detrimental to a story if you can’t, or are unable to execute them all to a satisfying conclusion.

So to your point about re-reading the Culling Game arc... let’s hope that Gege manages to bring it all full circle. But as things stand right now, we’re in the middle of whatever Gege has in mind so it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

What I’ll say is that I have enjoyed parts of it with reckless abandon...

Literal picture of me reading through the absolutely ridiculous battle between Kashi-chan and Kin-chan:

I also think that, at best, we have gotten in-depth character studies (because Gege is harping on the idea about the sense of self being at the core of power in JJK) and needed exposition. 

For example, even though Naoya coming back was soooooo cringe to me, I can still see the purpose it served in the narrative. Did I enjoy the journey? Not really. Same for Maki’s development.

The thing is that even if I agree with you on everything I just mentioned... I can’t unsee the story written between the lines even if the execution of the panels falls short, because I am always reading at a meta level.

I am passionate about story telling and how stories move humans, so to me, now that I’ve seen and acknowledge these flaws in the work, reading JJK is less about what’s on the panels, and more about the story he is trying to tell on a meta level through the panels.

My chosoyuki meta is a great example of me recognizing the story being told between the lines. And once I went down all of the rabbit holes I went down, even though I agree wholeheartedly that the execution fell short, the story told in the symbols was amazing to me. It honestly made me wish that Gege would have had the patience, time, energy, and space to birth that side story into the world the way it deserved to be told.

To me, I want Gege to be able to ground his vision onto the page, but if he is not able to, I’m still there for the “story” told between the lines because there’s so few mangaka whose imagination has captivated me.

In the end, as you say, it does feel like Gege is struggling to ground his vision into the page. And it kind of does suck because we, as an audience, have to work that much harder to understand the story he is trying to tell.

But the story being told is still there... so now it’s up to you to decide what you want to focus on: the flop, the bad execution, the failed attempt, JJK not living up to your expectations, or Gege, the flawed human behind the manga, trying and showing up.

What is good enough for you? That’s something for you to decide. 

I’m not saying to ignore the execution. 

I’m saying to remember that this is Gege’s first manga and that JJK is not what it started as--but not because it’s gotten worse, but rather because JJK is now more like Gege than it has ever been... because in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... yadda yadda yadda.

Trust the process: life is a journey, not a destination

I think your concern that you want to experience the ending makes a lot of sense and feels very relatable even at this point in my life. 

But the truth is... 

Foregoing the journey in favor of the destination is a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction. Look at what happened to Denji after he finally got to touch boobs!

Ok yeah, there’s a lot more to it than that in this particular case but the concept still applies.

It also applies to JJK. Again, right now we can’t see the forest for the trees because Gege is executing a complex arc.

The timeline is confusing af, and I think it’s because he may be trying to pull a similar literary trick to what happened in Westworld’s season 1 and 2 where the timeline is scrambled out of order to purposely confuse and mislead the audience. 

Perhaps the timeline is out of order for another grand purpose. Perhaps he just thought it would be fun and wanted to try to execute a fun literary trick.

But we won’t know until he delivers--and delivering is a process, not a destination.

And you know what... if you still get to the end and realize that you didn’t like JJK and the latter part of the story ruined your love for JJK, well...

It’s personal

Dude like... I respect that people LOVE Chainsaw Man, and I also think Chainsaw Man is ridiculously overhyped. I’ve seen countless of videos with people hyping it as the all end be all of manga and that Fujimoto is a genius and...

I. 

just. 

don’t. 

get. 

it.

I am just not a fan of Fujimoto’s brand of navel-gazing existentialism. It feels so anti-climatic to me.

Does that mean that CSM objectively sucks and is bad?! No. It’s personal.

Similarly, I overhype the hell out of CLAMP manga, and I am also aware that people might read CLAMP manga and not like it. 

Even so, to me, the four women behind CLAMP are genius story-tellers.

Shameless Subaru and CLAMP plug because this is one of my favorite Tokyo Babylon panels.

It comes back to personal taste, right?

For me, I love JJK despite the flaws because I still love the story being told between the lines, I find Gege’s brand of ironic humor funny, and I like how the story has progressed. 

Say goodbye to mainstream, Gege’s work might become a cult classic moving forward

Now... I bring up Fujimoto and CLAMP to illustrate the idea that there are people who are going to be dedicated fans of a mangaka and their work, people who enjoy and appreciate their work but don’t necessarily love it,  people who are in it for the hype, and people who don’t like their work.

CLAMP’s Cardcaptor Sakura is mainstream hype. Tokyo Babylon and Clover are what you read when you’re a hardcore fan.

Fujimoto’s CSM is mainstream hype. Fire dude punch something something and Goodbye Eri is what you read when you’re a hardcore fan. 

Watanabe’s Cowboy Bebop is mainstream hype. Zankyou no Terror and Carole and Tuesday are what you watch when you’re a hardcore fan.

Akutami’s Jujutsu Kaisen is mainstream hype. 

Gege followed the Battle Shonen recipe, added his own twists, and created an accidental mega hit. In fact, oddly enough, JJK has always been known as a story that defies expectations and uses tropes in new and unexpected ways.

So what happened? Why are people not liking Gege’s current execution?

To me, there’s something about how JJK is written that has changed, and it has nothing to do with Gege’s ability to write, and everything to do with his sense of self, who he has become in the process of writing JJK, and what he wants to express through his work.

In other words, JJK is more like Gege than it has ever been. Some people are going to like that, and some are not. 

Truth is that Gege is one of the VERY few mangaka who can write beautiful, multidimensional, engaging and extremely human characters who are true to their nature and aspirations.

He also writes on a very meta level and you don’t see that very often... like at all. 

All this to say that I think this is why you see such vastly different reactions in fandom right now. 

Some people still think he’s a fantastic writer and that he’s writing a unique work that has transcended generic Shonen tropes (like yours truly), and some people think that the way JJK is right now is generic Shonen. I don’t understand this last take but...

Who is right?

Who holds THE ultimate truth?

It doesn’t really matter because it’s personal.

All I know is that I am going to keep up with anything Gege publishes moving forward because I like the story he is telling through JJK.

Above all, I’m curious to see what other stories want to be born through him into this world.

Now, I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this 20 minute Ted talk by Elizabeth Gilbert to understand what I mean when I say that Gege is giving birth to stories. Her talk is a mind-opening take on what happens to your sense of self when you accidentally write a mega hit, and how that in turn affects your creative process.

I don’t know that this is how Gege sees his work as a mangaka, but I have to wonder about the possibility that Gege, someone who has very clearly studied the psychology of Carl Jung, sees JJK as an exercise in creative imagination, and/or as a story he’s been handed from the collective unconscious.

His job as a mangaka is to show up and write, to play, to express himself creatively.

That means that sometimes what he writes is going to be magnificent in the eyes of others, and sometimes it’s going to fall short of everybody’s expectations.

And that���s what it comes down to... 

Expectations

I see a lot of people complain about JJK failing to live up to their expectations without acknowledging that their expectations are simply that, expectations.

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations per se, and it is also important to realize when expectations are defining what we think is and isn’t good enough. 

And let’s not forget that you too probably don’t live up to other’s expectations. Does that mean that your effort too isn’t good enough? Gosh now I sound like Lacus.

Again... who holds the ultimate truth?

In the end, Gege is the one telling the Jujutsu Kaisen story. 

I also cannot emphasize enough that Gege is also a mangaka in the very early stages of his writing career. 

I don’t buy that his writing was better in the beginning of JJK. 

Quite the opposite, I see his writing AND art in the beginning of JJK as having followed a recipe: the three man team, found family, the strong mentor figure, etc... all the tropes are there executed in fresh and unexpected ways. 

But that was 5 years ago. Again... in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... what does that mean for Gege?

That said, Gege isn’t following the same recipe anymore, he’s coming up with his own recipe and he’s learning how to write his own recipe.

This is not to make excuses for him, it’s just something to think about because most people aren’t born naturally talented at anything that requires mastery, and writing is a craft that requires mastery through execution. 

As a quick side note, if you read Tokyo Babylon and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP, the 10+ year gap between both manga shows a marked improvement in the writing. AND EVEN THEN CLAMP MANAGED TO FUCK UP THE TSUBASA PLOT!

In other words, Gege has to fail to get better. 

Now add to that the pressure of a weekly publishing schedule that dampens the creative process with tight deadlines, and then on top of that having to draw the whole thing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Gosh, if I had to guess, I would have to say Gege is ready for an extended vacation. 

But, as you say, I also just want for him to be satisfied with his story. 

As for us being satisfied with his story... well, it depends on what we choose to focus on.

Will you focus on how he failed at executing his vision?

Will you focus on the beautiful story he told between the lines?

Or will you focus on how how he managed to tell a beautiful story despite failing at the execution?

Can you hold the tension of opposites?

Ok SO SORRY this took me so long to get back to you my dear recurring anon. I just had so many thoughts because, like I said before, I agree with you, and I also wanted to challenge you to see things a little differently without being patronizing.

In the end, you want to continue to love JJK, right? 

So love JJK! 

Acknowledge its flaws and be at peace with them for the sake of that love. Nothing is perfect.

Anyways, I love that we can be in conversation about this and that you have come to me to share your thoughts on jjk. 

Merci beaucoup. 

[stareaterreads]

The Dallergut Dream Department Store

Book: The Dallergut Dream Department Store by Miye Lee

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Perfect for a good night’s dream and softly healing your heart.

DISCLAIMER: I want to thank Hanover Square Press for gifting this ARC to the bookstore I currently am employed. Because the copy I read is not the final copy of the book, I cannot directly quote anything. I was not paid to do this review, I have only received this free as a gift through my job as a bookseller in exchange for an honest review of the book.

I cannot properly communicate just how much this book has healed and helped me. I had recently discovered this year that I am far from the biggest lover of cozy fantasy - mostly having to do with being used to having some sort of tension present within the book, which cozy fantasy notoriously has comparatively low stakes.

I had initially thought that would be a real issue for me, except this book doesn’t lean much on ‘stakes’ more than it is just glimpses into the lives of other people. The writing - and I credit the flow to the translator, who did a magnificent job - is so peaceful and easy to read. It doesn’t feel like I missed out on any important details, and since my first reading, I’ve actually reread it and discovered it is just as healing upon a reread as the first. Watching each person feel some level of dissatisfaction with their life and sticking around to see how their dreams help guide them in the right direction, it was miraculous and felt as if we, as the reader, followed along their life with them.

I also really loved getting to meet the other Dream makers in the book and seeing how their unique traits and differences helped inspire their own crafts. Reading the synopsis initially, I wondered if the nightmare maker would be an evil force, but I was pleasantly surprised to see how nightmares can help us become better in our lives, too. There doesn’t seem to be any clear good or evil, it’s just life and us existing as people.

Following Penny through the story was also a brilliant choice to explain each aspect of how Dream making, Dream selling, and the entire department store works. Dallergut was always a fun character in each scene and gives such soft dad vibes (I know he’s her boss, but it’s that energy of a workplace being so close they’re like family). Everything about this book just leaves such soft energy in my heart, like a warm hug.

I have been seeing this style of following along everyday people and seeing how an outside element helps guide them back on the right path is becoming rather popular in the East Asian literary world. I actually really appreciate it, and in this particular form of dreams that we had the agency to choose, unaware of how much it’d end up helping us - it makes me think of a dream of my own, sitting down in a boba shop when a grandpa comes up and gives me a wise word before gently telling me I could wake up now. “This world is full of gentle things, but you must be gentle enough to see them.”

Nevertheless, I absolutely recommend this book. If you’re like me, not a big fan of a classically styled cozy fantasy, this may be what you’re looking for. Something that feels gentle and soft on the heart, and may just be the bit of book you’re looking for. I’d love to know what dream you’d pick. I know I’d likely go with something to do with making my perfect art piece or something like satisfying and gratifying like that.

I’d like to thank again Hanover Square Press and Edelweiss for gifting this healing book to me. It has softened my heart considerably. Thank you to Miye Lee for this splendid story being brought into this gentle world, and thank you to Sandy Joosun Lee for translating and helping bring this story to even more minds to dream. Finally, I would like to remind you, dear reader, that in this gentle and marvelous universe, you matter to me, and thank you for reading and supporting the blog. I wish you sweet dreams. Until next time, I’ll be dreaming!

If you’re interested in this book, buy it from one of these links here! Bookshop.org - Barnes & Noble - Libro.fm [audio] - or from your local bookstore!

[rosie-posie10]

just started watching hikaru no go and finally finished it

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

not enough words can be used to describe my love for this drama/live action adaption it's just simply beautiful

the characters all had great chemistry with each other, but especially shi guang and yu liang

like as soon as i saw those two on screen, after yu liang was back from south korea i was like "huh, they look kinda gay-"

there is just so much to scream about this drama, the writing, the characters, the overall just dynamic and vibe of this drama is irreplacable, i lowkey wish i could rewatch this the first time (so i will likely proceed to rewatch it)

chu ying is fricken adorable and all the way through like a mentor/dad for shi guang and i just love that

and he totally knew that yu liang and shi guang were gay for each other, his reactions/comments on the two are just "he knew all along"

just like yu xiaoyang (after he retired) who just like calmed down and had this all-knowing smile when asking yu liang about shi guang like excuse me-

anyways, back to yu liang and shi guang, they have this like not exactly sexual tension but tension as in "im obsessed with you and you are obsessed with me but we both pretend to hate each other-" energy and it lowkey like fills me with just ahsdflkasjdflasdjkfk like almost every other character could see how in love/obsessed they were with each other, lol and the episodes like 20ish arc with yue zhi and yu liang and shi guang, like yue zhi geting annoyed when he realized yu liang really does not care about him at all and is absolutely fixated on shi guang, yue zhi's face is just so "lOoK aT ME!!!"

another duo that i think was less hinted at, but still gave me "fruity" vibes was fang xu and bai chuan like they radiate "never actually dated but were definitely exes" vibes, the tension and looks, the sadness/disappointment in Bai Chaun when he found out why fang xu didn't sign yu liang at first into weida gc sigh omg and then fang xu buying his boyfriend a whole school lolol plus when they showed up for pair go, like ok get a room lol (same to yu liang and shi guang)

anyways i'll probably rant about them again later, cuz ive become like addicted to this show's duos and plot line, and will probably read/reread all the fics on ao3 about this pairing, so yeah!

:)

Thank you for playing Go with me for the last nine years.

棋魂│Hikaru no Go

[infizero]

pokespe reread: firered & leafgreen chapter - closing thoughts! 🔥🌿

we've come to the end of FRLG! i really like this chapter. its great getting to see these guys again when they're a little older, and seeing silver interact with the kanto dexholders outside of just blue; alongside everything with him and giovanni of course. let's get into it!

first off, i think this is the first arc where there's been such a clear overarching theme. im sure if i really sat down and thought about it i could come up with something for the other chapters, but this is the first one where it's felt so obvious. that theme of course being family - specifically family meeting either for the first time or the first time in a while

we start the story with blue going to finally reunite with her parents, who she hasn't seen since she was five. giovanni and silver are both looking for each other, having been separated when silver was only two. later we find out that deoxys' has red's blood, which connects them biologically and makes deoxys want to seek him out.

and in the end, the day is saved by mew, coming to the rescue of its offspring, which mewtwo appreciates bcuz it's never really gotten to meet mew before. there's also green and professor oak. other than those two, they're all people who are biologically connected and either haven't met or have been separated for a long time.

i just think it's really cool how pervasive this theme is, and how it manifests in different forms! specifically the fact that we get that kind of relationship between humans, between pokemon, and between both. i think thats cool

sort of going off of that, i think the flashback to blue and silver escaping in the beginning is a great opener, even if it takes a while to come back. i actually didnt know until this readthrough that that story was originally its own individually published thing and not technically part of the FRLG chapter!

i think even with that in mind, it serves the purpose of reminding the reader of their backstories, which is specifically important in this arc since both of their origins are explored. it reminds you just how much they've been through and how much reuniting with their families would mean to them, which makes everything that happens with that later in the chapter hit way harder than if we were only reminded of their past in brief mentions in dialogue or whatever.

silver's character in general is really strong in this arc, you really feel for him. and like i mentioned before, it's really cool getting to see him interact with yellow and green! i like both of their dynamics with him, and i think it's especially nice to see how green and silver are on better terms compared to the end of GSC lol

going onto his dad. i really love giovanni in this chapter. i love how he's still a villain but when it comes to silver he's actually like. a good dad? and super dedicated to trying to find him again and protect him etc etc.

also with all the talk of silver becoming the future leader of team rocket, it reminded me of how in RGB giovanni initially offered red a position in team rocket as his right hand man. back then i mentioned how perhaps in a way, he was seeking to fill the void his missing son left behind, and i definitely think that's true even if he wasn't consciously aware of it.

moving on, MEWTWO!! i love seeing mewtwo work alongside red and the others, and i really like its dynamic with deoxys, im happy they got to be friends in the end. i like how mewtwo fights giovanni bcuz it doesnt want another pokemon to suffer at his hands like it did :( i just really like how mewtwo is portrayed in pokespe in general

last note on the more minor characters in this arc before i get to the more major players - yellow finally gets to be an official dexholder!! yay!!

i will say that i wish they still looked more androgynous; yamamoto definitely draws them more overtly femininely in this chapter. but at the very least we got the "for some reason, she chose to hide her identity as a girl" line in their bio which is a massive win for me. i wont elaborate lest i ramble about non-binary yellow for 5000 years again

anyways. RGB BABEYYY

i love them sooooo much, i love how much they care about each other ToT seeing blue and green get to actually fucking talk to each other was very much appreciated. and the scene where blue talks to red thanking him for saving her and reassuring him was sooo sweet.

i already kinda said a lot of this, but i like how green and blue react differently to red's little crisis (we'll get there in a second.) blue's been through a lot of shit, of course she wouldn't look down on red for being scared and respect his decision to just stay out of it.

meanwhile green is more hotheaded and so when red, who never gives up, decides to just give up and not even try, green of course gets frustrated. he doesn't really think red is a coward or anything, he just gets frustrated when red shuts him down without even trying to hear him out.

on the topic of red and green specifically, i LOVEEEEEEEE their dynamic in this chapter. i love how much it's shown that they are best friends and they care about each other. even with them arguing, by the end you're never led to believe they're anything other than best friends. getting to see them smile at each other and hang out (and the implication that they hang out one-on-one a lot? at least enough that yellow just assumed that red would be with green) makes me so so happy

and i loveeee how green is constantly looking out for red in this chapter. there's like 3 separate instances where red can't stand and green supports him, and just in general stuff like green always making sure he's ok......... its really really sweet i love their dynamic in this arc specifically so much

alright and now we get to the big one. ohhhh red i love you you have so many issues

red's crisis in this arc is sooooo gifted kid core. like. he's been this fantastic trainer from such a young age, he became champion, he literally brought down a crime syndicate when he was 11, etc etc.

so of course when he loses to deoxys, he immediately spirals into "oh im a failure im washed up i actually dont deserve to be a dexholder im useless lol". he does not know how to deal with failure.

and the thing is, this definitely stems from his defeat on mt moon. these feelings aren't new, this is definitely something he's thought about before and this experience was just the breaking point. being defeated on mt moon was his first big failure but this one establishes it as a "pattern" in his eyes which is why he freaks out so much.

from the way he apologizes to his pokemon afterwards, it's also very clear to me that he still has a LOT of lingering guilt about what happened on mt moon. this was already shown in GSC when he left pika behind in order to protect him; he clearly felt extremely guilty about pika getting injured on mt moon and didnt want something like that to happen again. so obviously when something like that happens again here, he gets super upset.

speaking of what happened on mt moon, him being so open to working with lorelei feels a littleeee weird to me? but to be fair they are in a tough situation where they really need to work together and red is a very nice purehearted person so. shrugs. idk i can buy that

another thing about that is how easy it is to read red as still having lasting damage from being frozen in this arc. the instance i found particularly notable was when he and green are undergoing ultima's training.

they both go through the same amount of strain, but while green is just winded, red gets exhausted to the point where he can't physically stand anymore and has to be supported by green, which lines up with his issues with standing after being frozen which were explored in GSC.

it's never actually stated that red got fully healed at mt silver technically? iirc. but i feel like thats supposed to be the implication, since sabrina sends him to the extra special spring that's supposed to work more thoroughly and quickly, and we don't see him have any more issues related to that damage - at least that are pointed out in the story itself as stemming from that. but subtle stuff like this to me reads as him still having at least some damage even after mt silver

which also can tie into his whole gifted kid mentality in this arc. (this part is more interpretation, bear with me) it's not just about his battling skills, but also him being physically weaker than he was pre-mt moon. i can imagine that that would be something that would continue to frustrate him. even if he's able to know his limits (sometimes lol), he doesn't like the fact that those limits exist in the first place, yknow? he wishes he could just be perfectly able-bodied like before and the fact that he isn't contributes to the feelings of unworthiness he struggles with during this arc.

i guess in summary, as @/sugarglider-s put it. men will literally have a breakdown on the beach about not being able to beat deoxys and therefore deem themselves worthless instead of getting a mobility aid

on a lighter note. this blank tank top is the best and gayest red has ever looked 10/10 no notes

and that's about all i have to say for FRLG!! hope they're cool with just chilling in that stone for a while, because it'll be a lil bit before we get back to them. it's EMERALD TIME baby!!!

im excited for emerald purely bcuz. i get to see my little guy again. but also because it's probably the arc i remember the least? like i could tell you shit about the other chapters but i have literally no memory of wtf happens in emerald other than. well. emerald's there. so we shall see!!! see you then!!

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

3, 4, 24, 25 with Kyojuro, Mitsuri, and Obanai please~ (or if it's too much just pick one character for each question 💖)

It is never too much, not for you <3

From the Character ask game

Final arc spoilers and general manga spoilers for anime only fans

3. Least Favorite Canon thing about this character

Obanai - The fact he died. We barely saw him in the manga and only at the end did we see how complex of a character he is and how he truly deserved so much more. I think he was done so dirty.

Kyojuro - We didn't see nearly enough of him. Of course, the small amount of time we spent with him was so well written that you can't help but fall in love with him and just sit in awe of him but I just want to see him more.

Mitsuri - I would say her death but at the same time if I had to choose her or Obanai I would choose Obanai, they tie so closely together but if either of them survived I could see a beautiful story being created from that love lost. She was an incredible character and her strength amazes me. I'm glad she found love, even if it was late.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

I would put all three in a book, like a comedy/romance book. Kyojuro as the best friend of Mitsuri and her broodish quiet handsome love. I just wanted more of her and obanai but the secret friendship that isn't really addressed between Kyojuro and Obanai would also tie in so well.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

This is hard to answer because I've never seen characters so complex as them the lore goes so deep, I think about it so much when I'm not having a meltdown.

Mitsuri - i would say Mortal Kombat, weirdly Mileena. I'd like you to hear me out okay. She is insanely strong and beautiful but so misunderstood especially in the recent game where she is human but diseased and it takes over so she is seen as different and therefore ugly. Love both of those girls.

Obanai - My husband, no further comment.

Kyojuro - Bakugou from my hero. Their personalities are so different but I also see so many similarities and like fire goes hand-in-hand with explosions. They are very mission oriented, insanely battle-smart. I can go on...

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Kyojuro - I think because i read through the manga so fast i didn't really grasp his character because I read the whole thing in like a day... But watching and then going back and rereading I fucking sobbed, he was so good we didn't deserve him.

Obanai - At first i was like... What is his issue? but everyone else was saying the same things during the meeting so it wasn't like he stood out. And then again in the entertainment district his 5 seconds of degrading (love that for him) he just confused me. But by the end of the manga I was like I am holding him so close to my heart. I think because I see so much of myself in Mitsuri I just grew that attachment I was like that's her man which makes him my man. #logic

Mitsuri - I have always loved her, i love her design and from the start I was like, me. She has the same fucking body as me, her struggles with body image and love that I just related to... I love her so much. She's so cool and like if they made her a super hero I would worship her tbh. She grew that idgaf what you think attitude and she did her job like a badass and I love her for that, she was amazing and I wish things didn't end like they did but at the same time, without Obanai, I don't think she would be the same.

Excellent questions Birin, sending you all of my love <3

[elliepassmore]

What Feasts at Night review

4.5/5 stars Recommended if you like: speculative fiction, ghost stories, Eastern European folklore, fantasy horror

What Moves the Dead review

Big thanks to Netgalley, Tor Nightfire, and the author for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

TW imagined animal gore

I really enjoyed What Moves the Dead when I got an ARC of it last year, and I still enjoyed it when I reread it earlier this week. With the first book so fresh in my mind, I have to say I was a little disappointed that I didn't love this book as much as that one. There's nothing wrong with this one per se, it just has very different vibes from WMtD.

In book 1 we visited Ruravia and now we're returning to Easton's home country of Gallacia, which seems to be comprised of trees, hills, and more trees. Since Easton and co. are going to a hunting lodge, this is actually perfect for them. The forest itself is eerie, not because of any particular feature it has, but rather due to that uncanny silence. Easton clocks the silence as odd immediately, but it takes longer for them to realize it isn't their tinnitus acting up and is instead something more insidious. I actually really liked this interplay and think Kingfisher used Easton's hearing problems in an interesting way with the supernatural.

My main complaint is that I feel like a lot of nothing happens re: spooky for most of the book. Sure, there's rumors in town and the woods are preternaturally quiet, but nothing really happens. Plus, once things do start happening it doesn't feel as enmeshed in the world and the group's surroundings as things did in WMtD. In that book, the atmosphere and scenery and plot were one, you couldn't have that story set anywhere else. In this book, I feel like the story could take place anywhere with any characters, and I missed that singularity of the first book.

Easton talks a lot about Paris in this one. Or, at least they think about it a lot. So much of their energy is about loving Paris and wanting to be back in Paris and oh how used to Paris they've gotten compared to the countryside, and honestly it was a bit much. When they weren't thinking about Paris, however, I enjoyed being back in Easton's head and seeing them try to riddle through everything that was going on. We get to see a bit more of the impact war had on Easton in this book and I liked getting to know more about their background and how those things affected them. I also liked getting to see Easton interact with more people, since in WMtD it's mostly the Ushers, Angus, Ms. Potter, and Denton, of which three of whom were familiar to Easton and another one of whom is absent in most scenes. Here we're introduced to Widow Botezatu and her grandson Bors, as well as Father Sebastian, none of whom were previously known to Easton and so we get to see some new interactions.

Angus is back as his dry, no-nonsense self. His use of folklore once again comes in handy, though even he is somewhat skeptical of this new threat. He is, however, quick to remind Easton of their experiences at the Usher Manor whenever Easton is questioning what's going on. Angus and Ms. Potter get to interact more in this one, and their blossoming feelings have a chance to blossom some more.

Ms. Potter is also back and I adore her just as much as the first time around. I do wish we got to her more of her spiels about mushrooms and fungi, but understandably Easton is more than a little freaked out by such talk and thus it is limited. She is around to brighten the place up though and offer some comfort and advice from someone who knows things in this world aren't always what they seem. Plus, she's fairly unflappable and thus a good one to have around.

I did appreciate that the events of WMtD aren't swept under the rug, though they seem to have happened, at the very least, some months ago (perhaps years? I don't think so, but I'm sketchy on the timeline). The characters were impacted by it, and so it does get mentioned, but it isn't overly harped on, so I think there's a good balance.

Of the new characters, Widow Botezatu is in it the most and she's a likable-unlikable character. She does not like Easton in the slightest, though she adores both her grandson and Ms. Potter. The Widow is the kind of grumpy and gruff that's endearing, even if she never does totally warm to Easton. Against all odds, I do like the Widow and enjoyed her gruffness and eccentricities. I also liked her grandson Bors, who is generally a warmer sort of fellow.

Overall I did enjoy this book, but I missed the overall lingering weirdness of book 1. I would've also liked to have seen the atmosphere, setting, and plot be a bit more intertwined like in WMtD. That being said, I liked the characters and enjoyed seeing how everyone dealt with what was going on. I also did like the new 'monster' the group has to deal with and thought it did fit well with the Eastern European location of Gallacia.