#i will use this info for good i swear!!!
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jouno is ticklish.....
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How many shots would it take for you to sleep with @twcfaces ?
at the time that barton was asking this question, both him and matilda were about to enjoy some popcorn as a snack — you know, because it's delicious — but after hearing the last word? he stopped what he was doing. and coincidentally enough, so did matilda because she was about to grab some popcorn. but she heard all about what he'd told as well as tried to do to barton. which was almost kill him.
but anyways (LOL), you could practically feel the judgment coming from the both of them even though they weren't saying a thing: the best way to describe the stare they were giving the anonymous person who asked the question is that it was kind of like the, 'really? right in front of my salad?' glare, except if they were just exasperated instead of angry.
a few beats of tense silence passed, then before barton turned to matilda and was about to speak to her. though, it seemed she had guessed what her father was about to say already and left the room. that way, he could 'deal' with this anonymous person. barton cleared his throat then and faked a smile towards them, ❝ ahh — you know, i really didn't want to have to do this, anon. but you've forced my hand now... and i was trying to quit too, ❞ an overexaggerated sigh left his lips as he pulled a cigarette out of a pack he pulled out of the most random place ever (in a compartment in the cabinets that were too high for him, which he'd put there on purpose so he couldn't reach them easily. though he was lying about quitting so don't feel bad about that anon JSJSJ LOL)
barton stepped out onto his porch then and lit it, looking a bit like this sullen cat as he appeared to have lost all of the will to live. but he was really just being overdramatic.
❝ alright, who sent this in, hmm?! are you purposely trying to make me throw up in my mouth a little? because if so, then you succeeded, ❞ barton rose his voice but not enough to be considered yelling after saying this. a shiver ran down his spine just thinking about it. i mean, it wasn't that harvey and two-face weren't attractive in a general sense, but he literally told barton that maybe jim should've 'finished the job' whenever his father was killed by killing HIM too, and he also tried to shoot him (though he did technically provoke him, that was besides the point in his mind)!!
❝ i honestly can't believe that someone would ask this. i mean, part of me actually can, but you know what i mean. i'm not attracted to him at all, so i'm afraid i would have to take like... however many shots i need to not just get drunk BUT black-out drunk. like, i wouldn't remember anything of what happened between us, kind of black-out drunk, ❞ an incredulous laugh left his mouth while he put down the bowl of popcorn he was carrying.
barton narrowed his eyes at the other in suspicion before doing the ' i'm watching you ' motion with his fingers. ❝ alright, so i can't pretend to know why you saw it fit to put me through the terrible ordeal that is imagining me being with them, but just so you know; once i find out who you are... because i WILL find out, i'd watch your back. if this is the man himself though? i've got a special thing for you, and it's this star. ❞
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#AHHH i swear i don't mean any ill will towards you anon!! barton is just a big Meaniehead and doesn't like harvey / two's at all -#even though he honestly kinddd of deserves to be held accountable for his actions OFC but since he never matured emotionally...#well at least completely he often blames things on other people or things but you didn't hear that from me 🤧 LOLLL#and also no cats actually smoked a cigarette during the making of this page so don't worry about that y'all. it's just a funny meme i found#hahah BUT it's the way that i made a whole new hair filter to put on characters just for this in regards to matilda for me JSJSJ#and also just pretend that the hair is a lighter blonde (i honestly just couldn't find any good pictures with her FC to crop the hair out o#that were completely blonde so... yeah) and OFC no hate towards twcfaces as well as i think they are lovely and you should-#absolutelyyy check out their harvey / two's account if you haven't already. barton's just got some serious beef with them BC of what i said#and also because he's a serial killer meaniehead who literally STOLE one of jim's kidneys but of course this man would omit that info-#from this because if barton is one thing... it's an unreliable narrator 💀 but yeahhh i hope y'all liked the pictures in here as well as-#the star because the instant i saw it i was like 'this. THIS is the one' because it's just such a goofy insult that barton would use it LMA#tw: mentions of murder
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girl help I’m considering fix it fanfic writing
girl I swore I’d never write fic that messed with canon it’s simply too deep I’m not that nerdy
girl I just spent eight hours researching pre-80BBY Star Wars politics
hELP
#Star wars#fanfic#plz send help#Clone wars#ive got a main character and a plot and everything#Like#what if I just made an escaped Tatooine slave with a lil bit of force sensitivity#And put ‘em in the lower levels of coruscant as a textile worker#Because I know far too much about handmade textile manufacturing#And then she ran an information trading buisness#And then she used the force to vet what info was true or not#And in her spare time explored the lower levels of coruscant bc that place is Dark and probably doesn’t feel good#Let Jaster Mereel See His Son Grow Up I Swear To The Force
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help my tolerance for frustration is exactly zero and I have no idea how to make google docs do something
especially since it turns out I have no idea what a header is after all
I just want
-for each chapter to always start at the top of a page
-for there to be a spot (on the first page? to the left of the document?) where I can show the list of chapters and click on the one I want
at this point I'm real close to doing what I *used* to always do and just make each chapter a separate doc but UGH
bc yeah at this point it's like 25 pages but finding the START of any given chapter just means scrolling and hoping I don't miss my little bolded "chapter 3"
You will literally have to show me screenshots btw because I never know what anything is called or how to find it :(
#'oh gen x'ers/millennials are good with word processors'#HAH#i am in fact a fucking moron#also don't let me near excel i swear i *will* fuck up your spreadsheet and have no idea how to fix it#'just google it' everyone always says#yah I don't know what words to use to find the info I want???
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i’m begging you for some nsfw hcs with wade & logan
i NEED more info about jealous sex with them specifically
please and thank you 💋💋
Jealousy Sex - Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson
Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader (no pronouns are used but has a pussy) x Wade Wilson
Genre: smut/nsfw
CW: poly! relationship, jealousy, possession, scent kink/scenting, taunting & humiliation, oral, double penetration, unprotected sex, creampie, AFTERCARE
omg of course!! the two of them being jealous over you would be such a handful >~< id love to write a full length of this sometime too!! thank you for the request lovely 💓
these two are such a handful when they’re jealous
Logan has no patience for other men getting in your personal space
if some other guy is talking to you too long or starting to get a little too close
he comes and stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your neck
he’ll make a big show of it too, sucking at your skin and breathing in your scent
“d’ya smell that? hm?”
you scrunch your eyebrows together, wondering what’s about to come
“that’s my scent. mine. all fuckin’ over ya.”
he’s dragging you upstairs to the nearest locked bedroom before you can even react
sex with him while he’s jealous can go either way depending on just how riled up he is
sometimes it’s deep and intimate, going until you’ve forgotten the rest of the world
or it’s rough and hard and biting, until your head is spinning and his name is the only thing you can remember
he’ll have you face down in the pillows, his grip on your hips so tight you swear he’s using his claws
his cock bullies so deep inside of you that tears form in your eyes and you have to wind your hands into the sheets to keep from screaming
and once you throw Wade into the mix…
Wade does NOT get jealous easily & even if he does, he just jokes it off
it would take a lot to get him going & god help you if he does
he’ll swoop in when someone’s hitting on you and press himself in real close
not nearly as showy as Logan but he’ll make real good eye contact with them and call them out for it
“i know i know” he’ll kiss the side of your head. “so fuckable, right?“
he’ll have you propped on the counter of the nearest bathroom, his face stuffed between your legs in an instant
he’s holding your legs open with ease & relentlessly licking your poor, overstimulated clit
every time you try to shuffle away or close your legs he’s pushing them further apart
“ahahah, not yet baby. if you can still move then I haven’t done my job right.”
when they’re together & jealous?? you’re not leaving that room for hours and they’re going to fucking ruin you
they’ll have you whining and overstimulated long before either of them slip inside of you
they take turns over who gets to eat you out, the other holding your legs open and mumbling a tantalizing mix of praise and degradation in your ears
they’re both dirty talk kings
by the time Logan slips his cock through your folds, your legs are already shaking
you’re moaning so damn loud that Wade has to shove his cock in your mouth to keep the people at the party from hearing
the two of them can go for hours thanks to their regeneration and if you think you’re getting out anytime before that…
once you’re nice and fucked out in Logan’s arms, Wade’s sliding his cock inside of you and then they’re both fucking you
they get SO caught up in the moment trying to one up each other too—the only thing they can agree upon is that you’re theirs
when the night is over, you’ll be stuffed to the brim with cum and half-conscious, fucked out on the bed
they’ll clean you up nice and good though
Wade is the best ever at aftercare, he’ll always have water and a warm cloth for you (or in this case, a tshirt he stole from the closet)
meanwhile Logan will massage your aching muscles and shaking limbs, kissing your feverish skin
masterlist | marvel masterlist
if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! i appreciate every like, comment & reblog i receive ^^
#deadpool#Wolverine#deadpool and Wolverine#Deadpool x reader#deadpool x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#Wade Wilson x reader#wade Wilson x you#Wade Wilson#logan Howlett x reader#logan Howlett x you#logan Howlett#deadpool Headcanons#Wolverine Headcanons#Wolverine smut#deadpool smut#logan Howlett Headcanons#Wade Wilson Headcanons
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[Touchy feely] [tf141 headcanons]
(Romantic impied Task force 141 boys x gender neutral!reader headcanons :))
Summary: Being the sweetheart of the task force means the boys are not shy about the fact that they're all simps and always want some sort of contact with you at all times.
Consists of romantic/suggestive headcanons for each of the guys and little things they do with you <3
Words: about 1.5k (this was supposed to be short, whoops)
Warnings/Info: Can be read separately but it is intended that they all harbor feelings for you at the same time, possibly out of character for everyone, some swearing, the guys manhandle you, as always, let me know if I miss something!
Thinking about how each of the boys is so touchy with you, it doesn't matter where you are or who you're with, they're shameless.
Other units and teams who will sometimes share the base with 141 know better than to ask questions or directly say anything to one of the guys or you for that matter. Not that they could anyway, seeing as you always have at least one of them attached to your hip.
Price:
Anyone who walks into Price's office late at night to turn something in is used to seeing you next to the Captain on the little dingy loveseat he has in there.
John is usually smoking a cigar, taking care to not blow smoke your way while your head is resting on his shoulder. Your eyes closed as you hum at his words. It's terribly domestic for a military base.
John likes to gently play with your hair while he speaks about missions he's been on, always somehow trying to braid despite not knowing how to for jack shit, whether it because it's you or just the mindless motion, he's not willing to say.
John will usually walk you back to your room after dinner or time in his office unless he's swamped with work.
A small hand on the small of your back while he leads you. It's always a respectable touch, though he tucks you into his side, nodding at everyone you may pass.
If you're comfortable with it, he likes to press a kiss to your head, smiling that goofy ass smile, and tells you to get a good night's rest.
He lets you help him trim up his beard, he won't let you do all of it but he likes the closeness of it, him sitting down while you gently shape it up, tilting his head up and he tries his best to not stare directly at your chest.
The fact that he's letting you this close to his neck with a razor is a sign of trust, maybe small for others but for a man that doesn't drop his guard and doesn't truly trust others, it speaks volumes.
The first time he let you, you were barely putting any pressure and he grabbed your hand in his and showed you. "You're not gonna hurt me, put more force into it, yeah?"
Don't get me started on going out on walks in London with Price, he wraps you up in his beanie and some big leather jacket he has that dwarves you, helping you move through crowds by once again holding the small of your back, or taking your smaller hand in his. (He doesn't correct anyone if they mistake you as married)
He likes to kiss the back of your hand and laughs when it makes you blush and sputter out that his beard is scratchy.
Ghost:
Ghost is a subtle one, he won't actively reach for you or your hand but he does have some part of him against you most times.
Whether it be his leg, arm, or thigh, anything works. A normal place yall will be seen together is in the dining hall, you've both learned to ignore the stares from everyone else.
Simon never eats there, just sits with you until you're finished and then you both move on to either his quarters or somewhere else so he can peel his mask up to eat a bit.
However, while you're eating and telling him about anything under the sun, he'll lean over and wipe some crumbs off of your mouth with his thumb softly, which again, you're used to so okay whatever but Recruits always are taken aback in their seats.
Ghost's reflexes kick into overdrive with you. His hand going to cover a corner of a table 9/10 times before you completely wreck your shit, but when he does miss (sometimes on purpose).
He'll bring a hand up to rub at your head for you, chuckling under his breath before cooing down at you "That hurt pretty? Sure look like it did."
Whenever you two specifically are paired onto a mission, doesn't matter if any of the guys complain, he will share a cot/tent with you. He claims he runs the hottest (he doesn't, it's Johnny but he will not lose on this) and can keep your body the warmest.
He pretty much lugs you on top of him and wraps his arms around your waist, he'll press a hand against your head if you keep fidgeting, rasping at you to go to sleep. He takes great pride in the fact that you're usually out like a light very shortly.
I've said it once and I'll say it again, Ghost likes to hook a finger into your body straps and pull it really hard and let it smack you to get your attention if you're not actively paying attention to him, he'll soothe the area but he's smirking behind that fucking mask.
On that note, he definitely does the "You got something right here." And points at your chest and immediately pull up to flick your nose hard as fuck, he KNOWS his own strength but sometimes your eyes water and he immediately feels bad.
Ghost rests his head on your chest a lot, he finds your heartbeat to be soothing and reassuring, also grunts if you don't wrap your arms around him in return, bro literally shoves his head into you and groans
This is a grown man but it's cute so you let it slide bc he'll never ask for it outright, he just assumes you'll cradle his head.
Soap:
Johnny is the most shameless motherfucker here, I'm talking about draping himself over you, grabbing at your cheeks, ruffling your hair, kissing you dangerously close to your lips (it drives the others mad), he's the most unapologetic about it and will gloat to the others.
Manhandler #1, isn't above grabbing you by your hips and picking you up to move you somewhere, he's literally gone and grabbed you from some rookies side to come stand next to him with a smile and you're just so used to it that you just shrug and go along with it. (He gets slightly jealous, why would you stand next to some random ass dude and not him??)
Throws you over his shoulder, or likes you to cling to his front or his back and just carries you, he says it's a comfortable weight. If you ever dare say you're too heavy, he's gonna go to the gym and work out even more to PROVE to you that he simply doesn't care, he will carry you.
Extremely bad habit of sneaking into your room to fall asleep with you, Price has come into your room many times to see Soap sprawled on top of you, he's drooling and snoring and you're knocked the fuck out (he's like a glorified weighted blanket).
I've touched on this before but he only wants you to cut his hair for him, yeah he can go to the barber on base but he much prefers you and loves it when you scratch at his scalp. He also likes to just have his head in between your thighs but that's something else for another time-
Soap specifically slings you over his shoulder a lot, especially off base where he truly doesn't have any fucks to give.
You're not going to bed because you have other work?? Too bad, shoulder time you go. You're not willing to get up and make yourself food? Good thing he's here, either pick what you want from the kitchen or throw some clothes on bc he IS dragging you out of the house.
Johnny likes to draw on you a lot, it ranges from scribbles, to sometimes his name if he's feeling cheeky (he's drawn it on your thigh before and you didn't notice until Gaz shot you a look), to intricate drawings of whatever he can think whether it be a landscape or an animal.
He always holds you steady and it isn't uncommon for your limbs to fall asleep but it's worth it, if only to see him smile.
Gaz:
Gaz is probably the most secretly clingy person out of the four, he CAN function without your touch but does he PREFER to? No.
His first instinct in any situation is to grab you and shield you, he's the fastest of the four so his body moves without thinking and it's saved you more times than any of you would like to count.
The one mission where you both fell out of a moving truck, he tucked your body into his despite it costing him his shoulder popping out of the socket, you couldn't help but freak out while Ghost moved to pop it back into place.
"Why the fuck would you do that? Look at your arm!" "It's nothing." "Garrick what the fuck-"
When you're out anywhere off base, he's holding your hand, good luck trying to pull away bc he is not letting go. Too bad so sad, resign to your fate.
I think Gaz is definitely good at dancing, at least with you and when the right music is on, you cannot tell me this man wouldn't twirl you around and shit-fight me on it. He'll even lift you off your feet, laughing when you scramble to grab at his shoulders.
He goes stark still if you rest your head on his shoulder, not because he's nervous but because he's worried about waking you up when he knows you deserve a rest.
He'll usually wrap his arm around your shoulder to hold you in place so the heli ride doesn't jostle you so much, gentleness rubbing his knuckles along your arm to soothe you.
Gaz is the one who holds you when you have nightmares, on rare occasions when Soap isn't in your room and you just need to be held with no talking, you always without thinking find yourself in Kyle's room, his arms wrapped around your waist as he tucks your head under his chin, no questions asked.
He'll maybe hum a tune to help you relax but other than that, he lets you lead the way.
#im so tired oh my god#i hope yall enjoy kissing yall on the forehead#ghost <3#soap <3#price <3#gaz <3#kayla writes <3#call of duty#call of duty x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#john price x reader#john mactavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#john price#gender neutral reader#john soap mactavish#john mactavish#call of duty headcanons
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Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?
I swear to God, it was an accident.
My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.
The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.
Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.
My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.
He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.
They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
#aita#am i the asshole#fandom aita#unreality#i never know how to tag the bible ones#also i don't think this is explicitly jesus christ superstar but for some reason it put me in mind of it#so that's where the extra option is from idk#specifically in my head is one particular production of it that a friend showed me when we were like. 17#anyway i'm in love with how this one plays with modern language#good enough to post on purpose
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laundry and chemistry (starring: coin cleaning chemicals)
so i saw a post on here about laundry stripping and i wanted to try it out as i live somewhere with really hard water and can’t use very strong detergents day to day as i have very sensitive skin, so it seemed like an interesting thing to try and see what happened
(my suspicion is, it will leach the dye and i’ll have to redye the towels but thats no big issue as i kinda feel like a new colour anyway and am gonna make sure i only put the same colours in together during my trial)
anyway so immediately, i read the instructions and know that some adjustments are gonna have to be made, as borax isnt sold here (banned) so i’ll need a substitute for that at the least. the post directed me to use borax, laundry SOAP not detergent, and washing soda
now straight away i know i need to be on my guard here as a lot of stuff like this will have the same name as an american thing, but be a whole different product. (cleaning products are very different here, in part cause of different regulations, but i think a big factor is actually how we clean stuff? american washing machines tend to be a lot bigger, and with toploaders you can soak stuff/have cold cycles which allows you to use laundry bleach which isnt really used so much here) when i visit my family (non us country but american appliances are common) i have a complete nightmare finding like for like laundry stuff i’m not allergic too
anyway, i’m not so worried about allergies here as after the soak i’ll be rewashing anyway. so laundry SOAP i figure they mean plain soap, like castile soap; washing soda, i figure is likely the same as the soda crystals we use for cleaning, which brings me to the borax. now this i know i definitely cant get here, so i find out that i can make a borax substitute from soda crystals and bicarb of soda, as i’m already using the soda crystals, this seems like a good option.
so i go to buy myself some bicarb, and the shop are selling a product called ‘borax subsitute’ so i decide to pick up this and the bicarb and compare the two.
so soda crystals= sodium carbonate
bicarb of soda= sodium bicarbonate
borax substitute? that’s sodium sesquicarbonate
now i’ve got the borax substitute the bicarb seems a little redundant, however. if i’m mixing any kind of chemical i want to make sure i know what i’m going to end up making, and make sure i’m aware of any risks.
leading me on the the chemistry of this all. i find myself on a coin collecting site, where they explain that by mixing sodium bicarbonate (NaHCO₃) and sodium carbonate (Na₂CO₃) with water i can make sodium sesquicarbonate (Na₃H(CO₃)₂ ) AND CO₂ (so i need to ensure i have good ventilation!)
however i clearly have no need to make my own sodium sesquicarbonate as i have ready made borax substitute. which made me wonder, as i am using sodium sesquiocarbonate rather than borax (sodium tetraborate decahydrate) is the addition of soda crystals (washing soda) (sodium carbonate) now redundant? in fact, why did the original recipe say to mix washing soda and borax, when the washing soda is made of the same components as borax (minus the borate), is there a secondary reaction involved here, or is it a case of overengineering the recipe? and what about the laundry soap? will that react as well?
when i tried to investigate further i stumbled upon sodium percarbonate, otherwise known as oxygenated bleach, and made by mixing soda crystals and hydrogen peroxide. now, while i am willing to risk the dye in the towels somewhat by stripping, i’m not looking to bleach them, so i realise pretty soon that sodium percarbonate is to be avoided
i’m not intending to add any hydrogen peroxide (don’t have any, not very common here), but i do need to make sure that it isnt in any soap that i may use. i know that castille soap is made from olive oil, water, glycerine and potassium hydroxide (lye), so i need to check that mixing the lye and the sodium sesquicarbonate is not going to make anything a) dangerous b) bleaching (like sodium percarbonate). when i tried to research this, i came across a very alarming chemistry forum post in which someone mixed the two, and it lead to a exothermic (hot!) reaction producing a mystery chemical, which they poked??? noting ‘I touched the tip of my finger to it and didn't get any chemical burns.‘ i mean i know this isnt labwork, but have some awareness of health and saftey! don’t tocuh mystery chemicals.
anyway, this reaction turned out to be a one off, likely caused by the soap they’d made containing soy oil, which introduced acid in to the mix, luckily i am not at risk of this as i have a deadly allergy to soy, so no soy oil is in the building. anyway.
by this point i’m really starting to doubt the need for additional detergent, when there is already sodium sesquicarbonate and possibly, washing soda, in the mix. i’m also starting to think that american ‘laundry soap’ is not pure soap as i’d assumed, but maybe something else entirely. looking up american recipes, they all seem to mean something different by laundry soap and some of them are using detergents, honesly i’m still a little unclear on the benefit of combining washing soda and ‘borax substitute’ when washing soda is used to make ‘borax substitute, it seems to me that changing the proprotions of ingredients is unlikely to be helpful (or may be more helpful if it makes something better i guess, but this i doubt) i’ve been hoping i might come across an old web style forum or webpage, where a chemist might explain the benefit of using 3 ingredients rather than one, and explain what is being created when they are all mixed. as i’ve yet to find this, i’ve decided to go with equal amounts of all 3 and then i will experiment with removing one ingredient at a time and comparing the results, in the future.
by comparing the various laundry detergents in my house i have found that they actually vary quite a bit ingredients wise, even tho they are all sensitive non bio detergents, one of them includes optical brighteners including oxygenated bleach, so we will not be using that one with the coloured clothes (funnily enough this is actually the one that i avoid using and only use for rugs and sofa covers and stuff as my skin plays up with it. the other ones don’t seem to have anything major that’ll react with the rest, so lets see
i have also learnt that borate requires hot water to activate it, so the americans i saw using it without hot water, probably arent getting much benefit from it
#while on the topic of laundry#(again!!! i know. i swear i'm not laundry obsessed irl ppl never hear about laundry from me)#(apart from my vindication over the washing line but that's a lot more to do with being pleased i'd won against the landlord & also#found a small way to make my life easier/improve it. (my clothes smell so good now and that does make me happy.)#anyway. generally i do not talk about laundry a lot. however. as a human on earth. laundry does take up quite a bit of my time#(also cause i'm clumsy as fuck and have to wash things way more often than most ppl lol.whenever i see ppl not washing their jeans i am like#we are not the same. i wish a wet cloth would do it mate. my jeans get washed when they visibly have food/whatever else on them and that is#always within a weeks wear. ppl washing them annually are evidently a lot more careful than i am (or maybe they cook less?))#cooking and gardening make me so much laundry. not to mention all the stuff i spill constantly. i have removable sofa covers for good reason#anyway. irl i do not spend a lot of time talking about laundry. but like most ppl doing their own housework a lot of my time is#meaning that while i dont bring it up. i do have a lot of laundry opinions. (i am fucking good at it tbh#my clothes last a fucking long time and look good. in spite of me spilling everything on them all the time and also. chronic nosebleeds#so when laundry gets brought up on here. i do need to correct ppls misunderstandings ok. it's just background info to me. but it is info#that i have a lot of. just by. osmosis. so thats why i had to get in to laundry history a few months back ok. i do love a good museum#and uk museums love love love displaying laundry equipment over the years (i'm guessing. they last long and ppl kept using them even as#of mine. but learning? chemistry research? experiments. those i admit i do love. thats why i garden lol.#i live for any opportunity to experiment and learn the theory of stuff. anywayyyyy#now i've told you all i'm not obsessive about laundry. have a unrelated laundry opinion nobody asked for. i hate using vinegar#i will allow it as a prewash.but as a rinse.smh.i know none of you can smell it but i absolutely can.#you can tear my scented fabric conditioner from my cold dead autistic supersmeller hands. i know the build up creates more work. i dont care#also. everyone all like 'use less soap' has no understanding of hard water. ppl should use less soap but the amounts you are suggesting will#literally not clean a thing in hard water areas. one final unasked for opinion: soft water tastes like shit and makes my mouth feel weird#i love my heating element destroying. pipe blocking. shower head defeating liquid calcium. theres a reason i've never broken a bone!!!#(apart from a few toes probably. but thats because i am clumsy as hell and keep things on shelves way way above my max reach.)#i've never broken a real bone and thats what matters. and you know my calcium slurry tap water and all that milk helped those toes heal#oh and you're all saying that fabric conditioner ruins your clothes while you use tumble driers??? and iron mixed fabrics???#the fabric conditioner doesnt get a chance to ruin your clothes! you've already made it holey with the heat long before it can impact
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Why does she give a damn about me? | Spencer Reid x Reader
cutesy, cheesy fluff
In wich Spencer thinks reader is out of his league but she could not be more into him.
Content: Garcia is a queen as always, sunshine!reader
Warnings: Maybe some light lack of self steem from spence, but nothing crazy!!
He was used to it at this point. Being the weird kid in high school and college, Spencer never really expected anyone to be into him and, after being rejected a couple of times, he had practically closed himself off in that sense. But then, you came into the picture.
You are one of those girls that everyone seemed to gravitate toward, not only because of your beauty but because of your essence. You were genuinely kind, smart and good with people in a way he wished he was, maybe that’s why he was so drawn to you, you had all the qualities he wished he had and being close to you made him feel complete.
Needless to say that he was in love with you, it had started as an admiration and when he realized he was thinking about you all the time, but he was sure you would never be into guys like him, he was sure you’d never see him as more than friends.
–
You had joined the team a few years ago, you were excited to finally be doing what you really wanted when you joined the BAU, going out in the field and being on cases instead of just working a desk job all the time. When you first met the team, everyone seemed very welcoming but you felt yourself especially drawn to Spencer out of all people, at first he seemed distant but with time you noticed how sweet he was and how much he cared for everyone around him and god that man was so funny, you loved his weird science jokes and his magic tricks. How were you supposed to not fall in love with him? You asked yourself that question every time he brought you coffee in the morning or went on his rambles about some random thing.
After a particularly intense inquiry from a very drunk Garcia in one of the girls' nights she organized at her home, you told her your feelings for Reid and she made you swear you would act on it.
“Garcia, I'm not confessing. He's not into me like that, i’ll just ruin our friendship”
“Oh honey, he practically kisses the floor you walk in, he follows you around the office like a lost puppy and practically kills any officer that dares to be the tiniest bit mean to you. There’s no way he’s not into you, at least try pretty please” She says, doing puppy eyes at you. Garcia took her job as a cupid very seriously and was not going to let this be her first fail.
“Alright, i’ll try but if he ends up hating me you’ll have to bake me cookies everyday until i die” You say rolling your eyes and finishing your glass of wine.
“Ohhh i’ll be cooking cookies for you guys wedding!”
–
So, here you are holding his favorite order from the local coffee shop and gathering the courage to press the button to the elevator
“Hey are you fine?” A familiar voice calls you, when you turn around its spencer.. Great, guess you’ll have to do this right now
“Oh hi yeah, I was just um… meditating”
“Did you know meditanting has been proven to increase your memory and is also great for reducing anxiety. I really should start doing it, what method do you use?” Spencer says while pressing the button to the elevator
“Ummm breath in, breath out i think” You say, unsure how to respond
“That's actually one of the best ways as it oxygenates your brain and helps it work better, it can also help you feel more calm since deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system that sends a signal to your brain to tell the anxious part that you're safe and don't need to use the fight, flight response” He says, doing the little smile and head nod thing he always does after info dumping.
You smile back at him, as you both enter the elevator and press the button to the BAU floor.
“I brought you something” You say, handing him the coffee shop bag
He opens it and smiles at you “I can’t believe you remembered my favorites, thank you so much” You love that smile so much, all you can think about is how perfect he is and how there’s no way you can continue on without dating this man.
“Actually, I need to tell you something spence… I was thinking, maybe we could go out together as like, a date or something” You say, already blushing from the embarrassment you felt and how scared you were that he did not reciprocate the feelings.
“Really? Of course i want, to be honest i’ve wanted to ask you to be honest but i thought you’d never see me like that”
“Are you kidding me spencer? I’ve had a crush on you since we first meet”
The elevator gets to the office, and you both walk in blushing and joking about how you two were so blind to each other's feelings. As you get in, garcia passes by you two stopping to stare
“There’s something happening here…” She says, pointing between you two and pressing her eyes together as if she’s profiling you two
“I asked him out”
“Oh my god finally, you see? I’m always right, I don’t even need to ask what he said, look at Reid, he’s glowing, ohh i’m so happy” She says, walking out to probably tell the news to everyone on the team.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x bestfriend!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x self insert
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HELLO I'm in love with the way you write for Cooper 😩👏💝fix idea: I was thinking he's DEFINITELY somebody who doesn't care who he looks anymore, but is still aware that he's got that CHARM yano, but maybe the reader is just "wow your eyes are so pretty" and he fuckin BLUSHES (Mr cooper Howard aka Mr ghoul cowpoke absolutely keels over cus somebody said he was puuuurrtty) 💥💥💥🔫 just all "shut your pie hole girlie" and shes 😏😏😏 ok handsome
Can Ghouls Blush?
Cooper Howard x GN!Reader, word count: 1k aaaaah thank you ;-; also i love this, i love the idea of flustering that horrible boy omg 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some threats (imean it's cooper), guns, mostly fluff though!
“I know time means very little to someone who has been around for two hundred years, but how much longer are you gonna be?”
Cooper’s voice echoed out from the main room of the abandoned building you had slept in. From the bathroom, you could hear the frustration, despite his attempts to soften it up. He had no time for fun, no time for relaxing. It was survival and sweating, or nothing at all. But you could tell he had tried to soften it up a little, just for you. His irritation was still so obvious however, even as he offered you a playful roll as he approached the door, catching your eye in the reflection of the cracked mirror.
“Just a sec, then we can head out.”
The old hairbrush you had found by the sink was a well-received miracle. A little bit of normality, a chance to tidy yourself up somewhat.
“I just think it’s a waste of time is all. Preening for the Wasteland. I mean, who are you trying to impress out there? You already got the best catch.”
He flicked the brim of his hat with his gloved fingers, grinning wide, yellowed teeth bared at you as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip.
“That’s exactly the problem. I have to make sure I look good to keep up with you, handsome.”
Your hand stroked along his cheek, a brief moment of eye contact as you walked past him towards the door of the bathroom and back out to the front of your temporary shelter.
“Handsome, huh?”
His voice seemed so much lighter now, more so than you had ever really heard before. And as you turned, you noticed the slight smile on his weathered lips, cheeks pulling up at the corners, eyes glinting as he stared straight back at you.
“Uh… yeah. You’re a very handsome guy, Coop.”
You almost had your fingers on the door knob, ready to leave for the start of your day, when you realised that you couldn’t feel Cooper’s presence behind you. Turning to see what was holding him up, you caught something in his eyes. A look of confusion, almost. Surprise. Disbelief. And a little bit of what you could swear was embarrassment. All this time together. Sleeping in each other’s arms, protecting each other from danger. Had you really never expressed to him your attraction? You had just assumed he knew. You spent long enough staring lustfully at him, it was surely a given. So you worried there was something else to it.
“What’s wrong, Cooper?”
“Nothing, I just… I was used to being called handsome, long time ago… not so much these days.”
As you stepped back towards him, closing the short distance, you could make out his expression much better, realising how astute your previous observation had been.
“Oh my god… Coop, are you blushing?”
He raised one finger, narrowing his brows as he tried to hide the endearing glee, offering you a forced stern look as he spoke.
“Don’t start playin’ stupid with me, you know I am not.”
Biting your lip, a mischievous smile forming, you gripped the lapels of his duster, teasing him as you stroked your thumb along one of his ridged, warm cheeks.
“Why, I didn’t even know big tough cowboys could blush, especially not the more ghoulish ones.” Can they blush? I'll need a closer look."
His fingers were tight around your wrist, gripping you fast and firm. He was trying so hard to maintain his tough exterior, but you could tell there was something softer in there that longed to come out, or at the very least, was desperate for someone to notice it. It was so obvious, even as he lowered his voice and growled at you.
“You turn around right now and start walkin’ out that door.”
Cooper took a step forwards, an attempt to regain his control of the situation, to push you towards doing his will, but you brought your hand up and laid your palm against his chest.
“Wait, just a second…”
It was nice to see him in this light. His confidence was always the dominant feature in his peronality, and it rarely wavered, if at all. But to know there were aspects of himself that he wasn't as sure of, and to know you could render him a little flustered just by complimenting them, made you smile. A grin that was returned by Cooper as you gazed into his warm, brown eyes.
"What is it you're lookin' for now, huh? You find it?"
"Yeah... turns out they can blush."
You turned quickly from him, practically skipping back towards the door of your temporary shelter, ready for another day of survival, this time tinted with a little more joy than usual. Your smile only grew wider as you heard Cooper, catching up with you, still trying to cover his embarrassment with the strained, empty aggressive threat that he chased you with.
"Now I will shoot you, you know that? You're pushing your luck today and we ain't even done anythin' yet."
But when he was certain you weren’t going to turn back around, he let himself smile a little. A soft glow in his eyes as he allowed himself to remember who he was, really. The kind of man that resided deep down inside, buried by years of solitude in the deep, dark ground, of struggling to adjust to the world. And struggling to adjust to himself. Even just a tiny reminder that, despite his charms and the charisma that tended to pull people in, that there was a bit of his old self left. That despite everything, despite who he had become, both physically and emotionally, someone might look at him with something other than fear first. With kindess, or lust. Or even love. That was enough to help him cling to the memories and look to the future with just the tiniest bit of hope, something he hadn’t felt in such a long time.
“You comin’, handsome?”
He smiled, biting his lip to curtail the spread of the easy grin.
“You bet.”
#fallout#fallout amazon#x reader#finnie writes#cooper howard#the ghoul#fallout fic#cooper howard x reader#the ghoul x reader#cooper howard fanfiction#cooper howard one shot#cooper howard smut#cooper howard imagine#fallout tv#fallout tv series#walton goggins#cooper howard x fem!reader
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Hmmm I’m kinda curious on how Francis would be like as a dom in bed!
Ohhhh definitely!
I feel like Francis def is too tired to dom most times, but omg, when he isn't tired for once....
This was uhm
Harder to write than I thought! It probably really isn't good so I slapped some headcanons at the end to make up for it a little
Tysm for the ask though, Anon!
WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Porn with minimal plot, established relationship, GN!Reader, Dom Francis, Francis has vacation and uses it properly
NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!
If you were serious, you barely know how you ended up in this situation. You started today thinking it'd be just like any other day, your boyfriend coming home really late from work, so you'd have the apartment to yourself until he returned. Contrary to that belief, Francis had instead taken a day of vacation. He had grumbled something about it being long overdue.
From then, you had thought he'd lounge around all day. He'd probably just sleep a bit more, lay on the couch, maybe help out a little with chores - that's where you were wrong again.
Once the two of you had finished the chores around the small apartment, he grabbed you by the hips harshly. "Francis -" you yelped out, but he already pressed his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. If it was up to him, he'd have you right here, in the middle of the hallway. That's just the way Francis was, when he did have the drive to fuck you, he'd barely even think about where.
In the end, you were the one to drag him to the bedroom after he had already pulled off your top and discarded it somewhere. He trailed kisses down your neck and over your collarbone, nipping at the skin softly. "Want you s'bad..." He groaned, grinding his growing erection against your crotch. "Bet you want me too, hm? Can feel how needy you are." He adds, chuckling as he rubs small circles on your waist. You huff and pull him down towards you, kissing him feverishly.
The rest of your clothes are soon discarded - Francis rarely took his time with you. He watched the way you squirmed and whined as he slowly pushed inside you, though. He knew you just wanted to feel him. When it came to teasing, Francis had probably won a gold metal in it at some point. "So good for me, hm? It's always so tight..." he sighs lazily. His hands rest at your hips, pushing you down so you can't grind against him. You whine in protest. "Francis, please.. don't be mean.." You mumble, and he just chuckles as he presses a kiss against your cheek. "Just taking my time, love.. weren't you just complaining about me being too fast?" You scowl at him, but Francis just grins as he keeps pushing into you ever so slowly. Surely, this had to be torture for him as well? If it was, he didn't let it show one bit.
After taking his sweet time, Francis made it up to you by being way too goddamn rough. He practically abused your hole while muttering and groaning praises into your ear. You desperately held onto him, nails scratching his back. "So good, hm..? God, swear you feel heavenly..." Francis groaned into your ear, trailing kisses over your jaw. He placed hickeys and bite marks all over your neck, and you were sure with how he was treating you right now that a few on your thighs would follow soon.
As always, Francis couldn't help but finish inside you after you had reached your climax as well. He watched your slightly fucked out expression and the way his cum slowly flowed out of you, leaving kisses on your thighs, marking you up just like you thought he would. "Always so good for me, baby." He then hummed, placing a soft kiss against your lips while you snuggled against him.
I just really think Francis is a tired man and therefore rarely doms. Just takes too much of his energy.
However, I think he really really loves marking his partner. Like full-on hickeys all over your body, especially your thighs, though (he definitely is a thigh guy). Also very big on praising, though he would degrade you if you asked him to. I just think that in his mind, it's like "in love with my partner, have to tell them how much I appreciate them, especially when I'm literally taking their ability to walk!" Because I just KNOW he likes being rough. He just can't help but love the way your face contorts in pleasure at every thrust.
Francis would also 100% hold you down so he could have his way with you. He'd also slightly choke you because he holds you down by your neck when he wants to watch your reactions (this is totally not because I think that'd be hot. Nah uh.)
Also, I don't really think he is actually that kinky (or he just doesn't know that what he likes is considered a kink because that man has never spoken to anyone about it). I think he always makes sure you cum first, either makes you cum all over again before properly fucking you or denying you an orgasm as he tests how long he can hold one back himself.
Also, with a fem partner, he is so into eating them out. Genuinely obsessed with it.
With a masc partner, I think he'd be the type to touch them while just watching their expressions
he is so big on watching his partner. He just wants to make sure he's making you feel good still, even though he definitely has your favourite spots memorised by heart.
Anyway! Really short omg I'm sorry. I'm currently obsessing over School Bus Graveyard, so uhm! Not many Francis thoughts in my brain. I hope this isn't as bad as it looks to me (it's definitely worse, but I will not be bothered (I will panic about it))
#francis mosses#francis mosses x you#thats not my neighbor#x reader#milkman that's not my neighbor#milkman x reader#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses headcanons
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STILL IN LOVE! #11 — TOJI FUSHIGURO
SYNOPSIS...after still messing around with your ex husband, you began to wonder if you’re still in love with him after finding out about his new girlfriend…
INFO...ex husband!toji x fem!reader, reader & toji have two kids, megumi is readers bio son, nanami x reader, nanami acts ooc for the plot, jealousy, smut, angst, arguments, alcohol, drinking problem, family problems, arguing in front of kids, toxic behaviors, crying, mentions of divorce, not proofread
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
series masterlist
The smell of food filled your nostrils as you stirred in your sleep. The softness of the sheets wrapped around your skin, only tempting you to stay in bed longer. A soft groan left your lips, prying open your eyes to find the sun shining through your room, peeking through the curtains. A yawn escaped your lips as you stretched, sitting up in bed to find that you were completely rid of your clothes. Events from last night played back in your head like a movie, reminding you of the confession you shared with your ex husband. A small smile plastered on your face when you looked over to the other side of the bed only to find it empty. Brows furrowed, quickly whipping your head to the other side to find it was nine in the morning, way past the kids time for school. “Shit!”
You scrambled to your feet, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you snatched your robe from your clothes, tying it around your waist while you practically ran out the room. “Naya, Megs!” You yelled, knocking on their bedroom doors before opening it. You stopped in your tracks when you were met with a neatly made bed.
“Hey,” a voice called out to you. You turned around, there standing before you was a shirtless Toji, a plate of food in hand along with a glass of orange juice. “Good morning.”
“Where are…where are the kids?” You cleared your throat, slowly shutting Megumi’s bedroom door. Toji looked at you for a few seconds before laughing. “What?” You asked, confused.
“I brought them to school this morning. Got ‘em up and everything. Don’t worry, mama.” He licked his lips before letting out a sigh. “Come eat, will you?” He turned away from you, heading towards the kitchen table where he had his plate of food ready.
You breathed in deeply, the scent of freshly cooked eggs, waffles and syrup made your stomach rumble. “Thank you, Toji. You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.” He slides his hands over your waist, pulling you into his chest, hands now resting on the small of your back. He stares into your eyes for a few moments, getting lost in them before speaking, “are we gonna talk about last night or…?” He says in a playful tone, dipping his head into the crook of your neck.
“What about last night?” You let a small giggle when he presses kisses against your skin. Your arms naturally found their way around his neck, pulling his larger figure closer.
“I want you to know I meant every word. I swear to you.” His tone is serious and empathetic. A small sigh escaped his lips when he lifted his head to look at you, taking in your beauty even if you’d just waken up. One of his large hands cupped your cheek, the pad of his thumb caressing it. You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage, butterflies in your stomach like you were some high schooler with a crush.
You don’t understand the relationship between you and Toji, you don’t know why you two are always so drawn towards each other no matter the obstacles that get in your way. Just when you think it’s over for good, it not. It’s either you or him clawing your back up the walls that you both build until one of you are finally ready to give in. But you can’t deny that you love him—you always have.
“I missed these type of mornings with you, mama. I just want us to be a happy family again. Wanna do right by you and the kids, you understand?” His brows pinch together. His kisses your forehead as you both embrace each other, enjoying the silence.
“I understand, Toji,” you mumble into his broad chest, closing your eyes, rocking back and forth on your feet. “But I need you to understand something for me.”
“Anything,” he’s quick to respond, rubbing your back.
“We can’t just rush into the whole process. Trust me, I’d like too, but I think taking things slow and working everything out will help us realize what we need to fix,” you explain.
“Yeah,” he nods his head, “yeah, of course.” He takes in a deep breath. “Why don’t you go and freshen up before we eat?”
“Good idea.” You look down at the robe that was barely covering you, and you were afraid to look at your hair. He watches as you walk into the bathroom, smiling to himself. Ever since yesterday he can’t stop smiling like a kid in a candy store. He’s finally making progress, showing you that he can be better, that he’s changed. It’s all he’s ever thought about since the divorce, and quite frankly, he’d never thought he’d see this day come. He’s a lucky man, all thanks to you. He doesn’t know why you even still give him the time of day with the way the end of the marriage was going, but he’s grateful you’re still here.
Toji grabs two sets of forks, setting them down at yours and his plates. He could hear the faint sound of water running in the bathroom before the doorbell rang. His eyes wandered over to front door, confusion plastered across his face. He made his way over to the door, unlocking it, expecting it to be a package maybe or a salesperson, but no, it wasn’t anything like that. It was Nanami.
Toji finally got a good look at the man, the scar on his lip quirked when he saw how put together the man was for it being so early. Hair neatly place, business casual clothing, and gold watch adorned his wrist. Just as Toji was taken aback by Nanami, Nanami was taken aback by Toji. When he knocked on the door, he didn’t expect a shirtless man who looked like he had just rolled out of bed to open your door. “Uh, good morning.” Nanami awkwardly cleared his throat.
Toji leaned against the doorway. “Morning,” he simple responded.
“Is y/n here?” Nanami asked, raising a brow.
“She is.” Toji gave blunt answers, eyes narrowing as he wondered why he couldn’t possibly want to talk to you. He couldn’t be trying to win you back? Right? Unwanted jealously bubbled in his chest, his jaw clenching at the feeling.
“Can I speak with her?” Nanami’s questions sounded unsure given Toji’s attitude.
“She’s busy.” Toji went to shut the door before Nanami spoke again.
“Well can you tell her to call me?” Nanami was becoming irritated. He couldn’t quite place it but the man standing in front of him sounded familiar, looked familiar. Though they’ve never properly met, was this Toji?
“She won’t be doing that—”
“Toji, who’s that at the door?” You walked up behind him, the cold air from outside sending chills through your body, goosebumps littering your skin. Over Toji’s tall stature you could see familiar blonde hair and you got closer it felt like your heart dropped. “Kento.” Slightly shock riddled your voice.
“Y/n, can I speak with you?” So that is him. His eyes shifted from you to Toji, glaring. “Now, if you don’t mind.”
“I, uh…” You blinked, stuck on what to say or even do. “What would like to talk about?” You crossed your arms over your chest, Toji standing behind you like he was some sort of assigned bodyguard.
“Our last conversation. On the phone. I…I shouldn’t have been that harsh about it. I regret what I said to you,” he sighed.
“What exactly do you regret?” You shrugged your shoulders.
“How I…ended things,” he admitted. “It was a heat of the moment type of thing—”
“Kento,” you held you hand out in front of him, “I appreciate you coming to speak me in person, I really do. But, I think it was better thar we ended things. You made me realize the truth about—”
“So you are still in love with him.” He interrupted, sharing looks between you and Toji.
“I am.” You nodded.
Nanami let out a scoff, shaking his head in disbelief. He didn’t want to believe he was right, maybe he was just overthinking, seeing too much into it. But no, he wasn’t. “So you were just using me?”
“God, no! You’re a great guy, and I enjoyed the moments we spent together, I didn’t want to end things with you, but when you ended it with me, said those words to me, I started to think that maybe you were right. He was my husband for years, the father my children, I can’t just forget about that so easily.” You nervously bit the inside of your cheek. “I’m sorry, Kento. There’s still so many things I need to work on within myself, I wouldn’t be right for you.”
“And when things don’t work out between you and him? When he ends up treating you the same way? Then what?” His tone was harsh.
“The fuck are you talking about?” Toji moved you to side, a mix of confusion and anger in his voice. “Wanna say that shit again?”
“You’re telling her what she wants to hear and she’s believing it. You’re so fucking predictable, it makes me laugh,” he chuckled.
“Kento, I tried to be nice about it, but now I need you to get off my doorstep. Right now. I’m not doing this. I don’t need no one fighting at nine in the fucking morning.” You stepped between the two. “Get inside, Toji.”
“You already let him fuck you, right? That’s all he wants to keep you around for—” Your palm connected with Nanamis cheek.
“I tried explaining to you, I tried asking nicely, and you still have the audacity to speak to me like I’m not gonna do shit about it.” Your nostrils flared in anger.
“I feel bad for the kids, truly.” Barely even two seconds after those words came from his mouth, Toji pushed you aside and swung at Nanami, his fist connecting with his jaw. Nanami fell back on the floor, grunting when his back hit the ground. You didn’t dare to step in, afraid you’d accident get hurt in the process.
Toji kept swinging, taking a few hits himself but was quite literally unfazed. “Don’t ever mention my fucking kids again!” He shouted.
You anxiously looked around, your neighbors running outside to see all the commotion, a few of them already on their phones—most likely with the police. “Toji, they’re gonna call the police!” You shouted. Your words went in one ear and out the other. “For fucks sake,” you mumbled under your breath when you heard the sirens approaching in the distance. “Toji, stop already!”
The cars came to screeching halt, police running into your yard and dragging Toji off of Nanami, forcefully pushing him into the ground. “Get the fuck off me!” He yelled as they placed the cuffs around him.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” you sighed deeply, running your hand over your face. Nanami stood to his feet, blood trickling from his nose and lip. Another police over came rushing over to him, asking him if he was okay.
“Ma’am, can I ask what happened here?” A police officer walked up to you.
“Um, he,” you pointed at Nanami, “came to my house this morning to have a conversation about our relationship—he’s my ex and—”
“He’s your ex?” He pointed to Nanami.
“Yes,” you nodded, watching as he scribbled down words on his notepad. “The other man, he’s my ex husband and me and him are on the verge of working things out and it’s just they both were here at the same time, and…and”
“It’s okay, take your time,” the officer assured. “So you and your ex husband are working things out…okay. Was this a jealousy thing or what?”
“Well before me and him,” you pointed at Nanami, “ended things, he said I still loved my ex husband. So he did end things and he showed up to my house this morning trying to fix it but I explained that I couldn’t personally because…you know.” Your voice was shaky.
“Okay,” the officer nodded. “Anything else.”
“He started making weird remarks. Saying thing are gonna end the same with me and him, that he only wants me for sex, and then he mentioned my kids—”
“Your kids?” The officer furrowed his brows.
“Yeah, me and my ex husband have two kids.” You pursed your lips.
“And that’s when the fight broke out?” He asked, clicking his pen. You nodded, glancing over at Nanami who was getting his nose cleaned up.
“Alright,” the officer sighed, “so we are gonna have to take both of them in for questioning, your ex husband might even end up in jail for aggravated assault since he started the fight.”
“What?! I’m sorry, but he mentioned my fucking kids! Do you have kids?!” You angrily shouted.
“I do, yes,” he responded.
“Then you should know what I’m feeling right now, what my ex husband is feeling right now. He’s talking about our relationship, about me, trying to belittle me! It’s fucking ridiculous!” You shouted, eyes wide in disbelief.
“I understand your anger, ma’am, but there’s not much I can do besides my job. I can’t just go off one side of the story. But I will keep in contact with you just in case. Name and number?” He casually asked.
“Y/n l/n, 234-567-8910.” You rolled your eyes.
“Thank you.” He walked away, getting into his car, driving off with Toji in the back of it, the others following behind shortly after.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” You stormed back in the house slamming the door shut. Your eyes landed upon the now cold and uneaten breakfast Toji had prepared for you. What a great start to your morning.
a/n: aye long time no seeee pookies!! Yes I know I made Nanami act so out of character but it’s for the plot yk lmaooo
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Homecoming (one-shot)
Synopsys: When Y/N goes missing during a simple supply run, she comes back with world-shattering news for Astarion. News he never thought to hear, and now he has a decision to make, one that will shift his life on its axis once more.
Set after the main events of BG3
Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader
Genre: angst, fluff, a bit of SMUT, but nothing explicit
Warnings: talks of blood, injuries, swearing, mentions of abuse, but nothing explicit, kidnapping
Word count: 8397
A/N: I have not played Baldur's Gate 3 (I don't own a PS or a PC where to play it. all of this is based on the info gathered online and through Neil's own gameplay etc. Please be kind :) )
Part 2(ish) - Love Conquers All (one-shot)
A home was not something to ever be taken for granted, that much they had learned during their adventures.
A home was a fire slowly crackling in the hearth, warmth expanding through the living room. A home was Astarion sitting on a loveseat, a book in his hands while he waited for his love to finish puttering around in the kitchen. A home was drying tea leaves and making preserves for the coming winter as she shooed him out, saying that his fussing would only hinder her process.
He’d huffed, puffed and whined, trying to make Y/N pull away from her plans just so they could curl up and read together, but she was adamant.
“I’ve already started.” She dropped an orange peel and pressed some lemon juice into the steaming pot. “It’ll be wasted produce if I just leave it now.”
“But it will take you hours!” Astarion whined like a child and even stomped his foot, making her snort.
“And it will take me twice as long if you don’t stop annoying me.” Y/N threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder, batting her lashes at the pouting vampire. “Now, be a good boy, and quit pestering me. We’ll have all the time in the world, once I’m done.”
Astarion just groaned, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, the incisors he usually sank into her neck now nipping at her lobe. “I can be a very good boy if you only let me prove it.”
“My love, you will be getting absolutely no sex from me, if you don’t let me at least finish this batch.” A shiver rushed down her spine as he licked at her neck, so close to that sweet spot he always used as a place to bite and drink from. But she had to be strong. The jams wouldn’t make themselves. “Every additional minute you keep me from this will be an additional day of your dry spell.”
The vampire spawn jumped back from her as if he’d been scalded, scarlet eyes narrowing in on her. “You wouldn’t dare. You wouldn’t last an hour!”
Y/N turned around, crossing her arms as a devious smile bloomed on her lips, a brow raised in challenge. “Would you like to test those waters?”
Astarion stood, staring her down. His crimson gaze was blazing from underneath his lashes, but she didn’t budge. They’d played this game for close to three years as a couple now, and she’d learned very quickly – Astarion was very much so a cat. But especially – he was a cat that liked to knock things over while keeping direct eye contact with you, though the second you placed a palm underneath whatever it was he wanted for to fall, all his need for chaos disappeared. It just wasn’t fun anymore.
For twenty long seconds, Y/N and her pale elven lover didn’t break, hoping the other would crumble and be announced as the loser, but part of what he loved about her, was her stubbornness. It was because of that part of her personality, she’d stuck by him when his doubts had crept in, when his own mind called him worthless and not good enough for her, almost as if to spite those vicious words in his mind. She didn’t give up on the people she loved, and as luck would have it, Astarion owned her heart.
But Y/N also knew how to handle a cat like him, so just after a few more tense moments, his eye twitched, and he huffed in defeat.
“Fine,” he scoffed. “But if you are not done by sundown, I shall have no other option but to drag you away from the stove. Kicking and screaming preferred.”
Y/N simply shook her head, and went to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the man into a deep, breathless kiss, but not before nipping at his bottom lip, dragging the piece of flesh between her teeth and making him let out a desperate moan. “I’ll even let you tie me up if you wish to do so.”
Astarion’s pupils almost swallowed the red irises in a matter of seconds, as he threw his head back in a groan. “My love, you’re absolutely killing me here.”
“Then I hope whatever punishment you deem fit for me, will be just oh, so sweet.” Y/N stepped back, untangling herself from him, but the mischievousness in her eyes didn’t lessen.
She could see how the words tortured him, how it took every single last piece of his fraying self-control, to not rip off her apron and the clothes underneath and just lay her down on the kitchen table, legs spread with his mouth licking into her until she orgasmed.
With eyes holding nothing but pure lust and hands clenching and unclenching, Astarion retreated. Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t hot and bothered and absolutely dripping between her thighs, and the thought of finishing those jams was the last thing on her mind, but she did have to do it. If only to keep him waiting longer, knowing whatever his beautiful brain was cooking up would leave her screaming and shaking for hours.
They’d been growing their own vegetables and fruits, Y/N tending to them during the nights to spend more time with Astarion as he fussed over his flower gardens, so it would simply be wasteful to leave their berries to rot. The year had been very generous and offered a variety of things to gather, so a while back, she’d decided to pickle some of the tomatoes and cucumbers, turn another batch of peppers and tomatillos into sauces while the sweeter things would be turned into syrups and jams.
Y/N shook her head, trying to clear it from the haze of lust, as the aroma of lemons and cranberries, raspberries and oranges wafted all around, encasing her in the scent. She was just about to add the sugar when the tin rattled with the sound of the last grains left.
Her brow furrowed as she opened the lid and looked inside. Sure, enough it was empty.
The woman huffed. She was absolutely positive she’d gotten the right amount during the last trip, but somewhere along the way it seemed a miscalculation had happened, and now she had to get more. Y/N would have asked Astarion, and had the sun dipped below the horizon, he would have jumped at the request, but alas his little vampiric predicament forbade him from walking during the day, the sun still high in the sky from what she could see through a tiny slit in the shutters.
Quickly, Y/N snuffed out the flame below the pot, untied her dirtied apron and grabbed a basket from the pantry, tying a pouch of coins to her side. She only needed sugar, but maybe she would grab some other necessities as well. They were low on Astarion’s favourite wine, one he claimed didn’t taste like vinegar at least.
“I’m off to the market really quick,” Y/N announced as she peeked into the living room, taking in Astarion as he flipped a page in a book. “Do you want anything?”
“No, my love.” He looked at her like a love-sick puppy. “Just your darling self back as quick as you can. I have picked up some… inspiration for your punishment if you will. Just as you suggested, of course.” He closed the book, showing the cover to her.
Heat crawled all over her body as she read the title, one of her smuttier romances she had started to read, and when she could do nothing but gulp and nod, his smile turned from a sweet one into a wicked-fanged thing. It was all she needed to know whatever awaited her once she was done would leave her unable to walk. Gods, she needed to finish this whole thing up as quickly as she could.
Y/N was out the doors like the wind, the usual stroll to the market cut from half an hour into a brisk fifteen-minute jog, the thoughts of the man waiting back home for her at the forefront of her mind.
The needed sugar, some coffee beans, a loaf of fresh bread, Astarion’s wine and some sour cream were all bought in quick succession, Y/N didn’t even try to haggle. Her eyes drifted across various stalls and merchants and she almost deemed it done when her gaze caught onto a rose seedling. It was a beautiful bloom with blood-red petals that whitened at the very tips. She smiled and went to buy it. Astarion would love the symbolism even if a bit too on the nose.
Once satisfied with everything, Y/N marched across the market and was back on the road to home. It was a humble little house they’d purchased with whatever had been left in their pockets after all was said and done with the tadpoles, but Astarion had bigger plans. This was only a temporary situation.
“I want a whole room full of books. Nothing but books from one end to the other and then some,” he’d confided in Y/N one night after both were panting and spent from multiple rounds of bringing the other to ecstasy.
“And a large ballroom,” he continued, and Y/N couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped her.
“A ballroom? And what will we do with that?”
“Why, have grand balls, of course!” He threw his hands up in the air as if her question was preposterous.
“Star…” Y/N tilted her head to look up at him from where she was lying on his naked chest. “You hate people. A ballroom full of them – it would be your literal nightmare.”
“I don’t hate people.”
“I don’t count.”
“Alright,” he conceded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Y/N placed her palm atop where his heart was and rested her chin on it, looking deep into his eyes. “I hate most people, simply dislike them, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a get-together, from time to time. Maybe… maybe see our friends. Catch up on how they’re doing. I absolutely despise to admit this and will say you are lying if you ever mention it to anyone, but I – I miss them… even Gale…”
A gentle smile lifted her lips as she brushed a wild curl out of his face and tucked it behind his pointy ear. “I think I’d really like that too.”
His eyes were so soft and full of love, that Y/N swore she could feel his heart beating once more in his chest, thudding against her palm in a confession of adoration.
She was almost out of the city by that point, already on the small, secluded road leading to their house which lay on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate right by the edges of the woods, so Astarion had easier access to game in between feeding on her when her attention was drawn back by someone calling out.
“Miss!” the voice, male she made out, yelled after her. “Miss, please wait!”
Instantly, her guard was up, but when a breathless man, looking to be in his late sixties appeared from behind a copse of trees, she somewhat relaxed. Y/N was still cautious, but if anything, she had a dagger holstered against her thigh. She was always prepared.
“Miss,” he gasped out, leaning his hands against his knees to catch his breath. “Miss, you are a quick one. I’ve been calling for you since by the rose stalls."
“Oh, I – I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you!” Y/N said but didn’t move forward. “How can I help?”
He huffed, as if regaining her breath, before fishing out a piece of fabric from his pocket, and extending it towards her. “You dropped this by the flowers.”
When she took a closer look at what he was holding, it seemed to be some sort of a silk scarf. She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t own silk scarves and definitely hadn’t worn one on such a warm day. “You must have mixed me up with someone, as it’s not mine. Sorry, for you to have troubled yourself like this.”
“No.” The man furrowed his brow, taking a step closer. “I am fairly certain I saw you drop it. Such a fine piece… didn’t want you to lose it.”
Y/N took a step back, angling herself in a defensive position with the basket in front of her. She didn’t like the tone he was speaking in, nor the way his eyes seemed to be appraising her. “No,” she asserted. “It’s not mine.”
His back stiffened, eyes growing cold, the grip on the scarf tightening as he hummed. “Well… a pity then.”
She took another step back, but he was already lunging at her.
Dropping the basket to the ground, she reached for the knife strapped at her thigh, but he was quick as a viper as she hadn’t even noticed when a rope appeared in his hands, lashing it at her. Years of having fought had kept her agile and aware, but years of domestic bliss with Astarion had dulled her senses a bit.
The rope caught and wrapped around her ankle, knocking her to the ground. Y/N’s teeth clattered and snapped, her tongue almost in between them, but as he rushed to pin her down, she twisted her leg around the rope and pulled, making the man lose his balance and stumble.
It was enough for her to swipe her leg underneath his, and send him sprawling. It was enough for her to untangle her legs and roll away as he snapped it at her head. Her clothes were dirty as was her face, but it didn’t matter. She’d cover herself in blood if needed.
It was almost animalistic how she pounced – teeth bared, a snarl ripping from her throat and hands forming claws as if she would gouge at his face with just his nails, but as her palm brushed her thigh, unclipping the holster for her dagger, Y/N didn’t see the man had crouched on his knee and swung the cord.
It knocked the air out of her, as it wrapped around her chest, and he pulled her down, hard. Her ribs were screaming as the tether tightened and tightened with every pull, but as she thought this would be it, something strange happened – instead of offering her the killing blow, he opened a palm, now covered in a leather glove, and blew the contents of it onto her face.
Y/N coughed and sputtered, but whatever it was, was fast-acting and her lungs, still incapable of proper breathing due to the rope couldn’t expel it. In just a few seconds, the bright day around her turned into darkness.
She didn’t know how long she was unconscious for, but enough time had passed to dry out her throat. Or was that a side effect of whatever was blown into her face? In any case, as she slowly came to, Y/N noted there was a soft mattress under her body, which was an oddity for someone kidnapped. She could even tell the dagger was still by her thigh, the comforting weight of the blade pressed under her. Even weirder, if you asked her, to not disarm your victims.
Darkness still encompassed her, but the soft cloth against her cheeks told her she hadn’t permanently lost her vision, but with her sight obscured, she had to rely on her ears. That’s when voices invaded her senses.
There were three people somewhere further away, most likely in a different room if taken by how muffled the words were. She focused harder on what they were saying.
Two men and a female, Y/N differentiated, when the woman spoke.
“This is not what we agreed upon!” she hissed, and a grumbly-sounding man scoffed.
“You said to get her to you. I did. You never specified how.” It was the same man who’d knocked her out.
“We want her to help us!” A different male voice, this one softer, even kinder, rebutted. “I highly doubt kidnapping is a good incentive for that!”
“Look,” her assailant said. “I fulfilled my end of the deal. She is unhurt, maybe she'll sport a couple of bruises and a headache, but that is her own fault. She could have come willingly but didn’t. Other than that, though – she is completely fine. Now you do your part!”
As the trio argued between themselves, more angry whispers than shouting, Y/N started to shimmy her hands which had been bound, out of the restraints. She had a good inclination they needed her alive but had no want of staying as a prisoner.
Though her fighting skills seemed to have mellowed, which she was not happy about, even a couple of years without mortally dangerous adventures, hadn’t changed how quickly she could slip her wrists from their bindings. Astarion might need to get more creative during their debauchery.
Y/N froze the second she heard a door open and shut, two pairs of footsteps moving closer and closer to where she was. Her breathing was shallow and almost imperceptible, as she tried to make it look like she was still unconscious.
She could sense two bodies enter the room and one move to stand where she faced, the other going to her back.
Y/N tensed. In just a few moments, whoever was behind her, would notice her undone binds. But she’d be ready.
“Darling, please be careful,” the woman said, a tremble in her voice.
Good. Let them be scared.
“Don’t worry,” the man replied. “I’ll just make sure she’s – what in the -”
But Y/N was already up, the blindfold off and ready to pounce. This time, she’d have the upper hand.
For a second, the light in the room blinded her, but her sight refocused fast enough to take in her captors’ faces.
The woman was beautiful, with high rosy cheekbones, and jade green eyes so vivid they looked like actual gemstones. Her hair was long and dark, down to her waist while grey strands seemed to have invaded the brown tresses in some places, but she was still ethereally gorgeous, her pointy ears covered in piercings.
Y/N snapped out of the shock quicker and using this to her advantage, she was behind her in a matter of a blink, her dagger pressed tight against her throat.
A gasp entered her ears, but she just pressed the blade harder, making her whimper.
“Please!” the man made her look at him, but instead of bracing for an attack, he had his hands up in surrender. “Please don’t hurt her! We just want to talk.”
“Funny way of having a conversation you’ve got there.” Y/N tightened her grip on the knife, surveying the man. Again, those same pointed ears, but his eyes were the most brilliant blue she’d ever seen and his face was marred with more age lines than the woman’s, yet he still was as gorgeous as she. “Typically, only my enemies would knock me out and tie me up before spilling their grand plans. But I will be kind and give you a choice – what would you like to be – friends or foes?”
“Friends! Friends! Please! We – we’re looking for our son!” the elven man pleaded. “And we – we heard a rumour that you might know him. Have even seen him.”
Y/N narrowed her Y/E/C eyes, piercing his with her gaze. “I’ve known and seen a lot of people. Usually, others just ask me about them, they don’t have someone kidnap me.”
“And we’re sorry, we’re so very sorry, but we had to make sure you came. It went too far and we apologise, but please…” He took in a deep breath, worried eyes flipping between his partner and her. “Our son – his name is Astarion. Astarion Ancunin. Have you – do you know of him?”
Hearing his name, knocked the breath out of her as if they’d snapped a rope around her chest again, making her stumble back. Her grip on the woman released, and she used the moment to leap over to her partner, using the bed as a buffer. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her half behind his back, but not before checking if Y/N’s dagger had pierced the skin.
Tears brimmed in the eleven woman’s green eyes as she looked at her, not even caring that just a moment before she was so close to having her blood dripping on the floor. “Please,” she whispered. “I – I know we didn’t go about it the right way, but please… is it true he’s alive?”
"I,” Y/N stammered, her gaze snapping back and forth between the two.
Astarion.
They were Astarion’s parents.
Even after all this time, they were searching for their missing son.
Y/N should have noticed the details – how the woman had a small mole on her cheek right where Astarion did, how the shape of the man’s eyes was the exact same as his son’s. Astarion even had the same high cheekbones as his mother while his sharp jaw was that of his father.
What had his eyes been like before? Green like his mother’s or the sky blue of his father's? What had he been like as a child? No doubt as mischievous and scheme-prone as he was now, but who had he gotten it from? So many different questions rattled through Y/N’s brain as she kept glancing back and forth, before shaking her head and pulling her out of the shocked stupor.
“You – you’re Ancunins?” She had to ask. Had to make sure she hadn’t overheard them or maybe hallucinating because of the powder she’d inhaled.
“Yes.” The woman nodded, brushing tears from under her eyes. “Our son has been missing for more than two hundred years, and we almost lost hope until… until we heard about you and your company a few years back. How one of the party members resembled our little Star so much.”
They hadn’t been inconspicuous, though they had tried, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that tales of their adventures had gone far and wide, especially after saving Baldur’s Gate, killing Cazador and the absolute, and Gods know how many other evils along the way. But she never thought Astarion’s parents would have heard of it.
In fact, Astarion had barely even mentioned them over the years, and, for whatever reason, Y/N had concluded they must have passed, despite knowing elves lived extremely long lives. Had he maybe tried to find them on his own and couldn’t? Or had he forgotten about them?
Until Astarion and Y/N had become an official couple and she’d commissioned a portrait of him as a gift on an anniversary, he hadn’t even seen himself in two centuries. He’d forgotten what he looked like. It didn’t seem too crazy to assume, the memories of his parents’ names or their faces, might’ve slipped away as well, or even the love they had for him. Especially knowing how deeply Cazador had ruined that notion for him.
She needed to get home. She needed to see Astarion, and then she could figure out what to do.
“I need to go.” Y/N nodded to herself, muttering under her breath. “I need to think.”
“No, please!” the woman lunged, trying to grasp at her, but she had a knife pointed at her chest in an instant, making the elf shrivel back, but still, she pleaded. “Please help us. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate! If you can’t help, who will?”
“I promise I will do my best,” Y/N said. “But I need time… I – I need to figure all of this out.”
Her mind was swirling like a hurricane, but the man interrupted her breakdown as she realised how pretty much her in-laws, had kidnapped her. “At least tell us this – is – is it true he is alive? Or have we travelled across Faerun under the pretences of false hope?”
In truth, Y/N wanted to take them by the arms and drag them to her house, but whether Astarion wanted to reach out and reconnect, was up to him. That sort of a choice was not hers to make, but she could grant them this one request.
“He is.” Y/N nodded.
And then she left as quickly as she could because if she had to stand there and watch as the elves crumbled into one another, cries of relief and joy escaping into the slowly setting day, she would crumble too. Their faces were already permanently burned into her mind, and she needed a moment to process everything.
By a stroke of luck or fate, Y/N instantly recognised she was in the woods on the other side of Baldur’s Gate, so retracing her steps to the market was fairly easy even though the whole way back home, she was pretty much stumbling around in a daze, knocking into people and tripping over her own two legs.
Her discarded basket was right where she’d left it, gold coins scattered around it. The pouch must’ve broken during the struggle. Y/N made sure to pick every single piece up and was more than relieved to see, that the rose bloom was still intact.
By the time she arrived, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and as the last rays warmed her back, she extended her palm to open the door, though she didn’t even get to touch the handle as it was ripped open by a visibly distressed Astarion.
His eyes looked like he’d been crying, his hair as if he’d been relentlessly raking his fingers through the locks and his lower lip so bitten, there was a small hole where one of his incisors had gone through.
“Oh, thank the Gods!” Astairon instantly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in a bone-crushing hug, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. “Thank the Gods!”
Y/N dropped the basket over the threshold and closed the door with her foot, her own arms weaving around his middle, a palm soothingly brushing along his side, as he soaked her in.
“I’m alright, Star,” she said, kissing his temple and didn’t even make a noise as he gripped her waist tighter, right where bruises were forming. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, but I’m alright.”
“What happened? You said you’d be quick, but you were gone for hours! And you know what the worst part was – I couldn’t even go out looking for you because of the damned fucking sun!” Astarion cupped her face, turning it this way and that way, trying to find any injuries, but the biggest one would be in her head as she tried to figure out how to explain to him what had happened. “Gods, I am never letting you out of my sight again!”
Y/N indulged the vampire in the hug he pulled her in, holding him against her chest, trying to comfort him, but she was way too consumed with her new findings. Too quickly, as evident by the frown on Astarion’s face, she untangled herself from the embrace, anxiety immediately flashing over his handsome features.
She slid her arms from around his waist to take his palms into hers. “I – I don’t even know how to say this… How do you say something like that?”
Worry instantly marred his brow, and Y/N pressed a practised thumb between them, trying to soothe them away.
“Shit…” he muttered. “Did I do something wrong?”
“What? No!” She cupped his cheeks. “Astarion you’ve done nothing!”
“Then – then what?” He was tentative, still, scared Y/N might be angry at him. Or worse – wanted to leave, but her next words erased all that doubt.
“I…” She took in a deep breath. “Astarion, I met your parents today.”
Whatever he had expected, clearly that hadn’t been it. Probably a confession she’d met a past love, that their feelings were reignited and she wanted to go with them. But definitely not that.
He blinked once, twice, trice, completely and utterly stupefied before a small whisper of “What?” passed his lips.
“It’s why I’m so late,” Y/N explained. “They’d heard a rumour, that I knew you and had travelled with you during our tadpole situation, and came to me. Astarion, your parents are looking for you…”
A million thoughts seemed to swirl in his head, but Y/N held onto his hand through all of them.
“What,” he cleared his throat, “what did you tell them?”
“That I’d find them once I figured out what to do?”
“Which means?”
“Which means I would come home, give you this information and let you figure out what you’d like to do…”
So many emotions flashed across his face, but Y/N no longer needed that mind flayer tadpole connection it created – Astarion was an open book for her to read.
Joy. Such indisputable joy shone in his scarlet eyes before being consumed by confusion. Then anger and disgust and love, but by the end of it all his heart settled on one feeling – fear.
It’s what it knew best, though Y/N had tried her hardest to reduce it to ashes, yet still it lingered. She understood it, despite not being happy he ever had to feel it.
He feared what to do, what would be the right choice to make, he feared their reactions and what they would say of his disappearance or of his newest… condition. Would they accept him? Or would they be repulsed by him?
“What – what would I even say to them?” Astarion searched her Y/E/C eyes as if they held an answer, but when one magically didn’t appear, he hung his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I can’t even remember what they looked like. Their names, the house we used to live in… it’s all a fog.”
Y/N tried to give him an encouraging smile. “Well, your mother – she has the most beautiful green eyes. Like that dress you made for me for Summer Solstice, that same shade. And – and she has a little beauty mark on her cheek.” With a gentle thumb, she brushed over the mole. “Right in that same spot.”
His brows furrowed in concentration; his lips pinched tightly. “I – I remember blue eyes. Not green.”
“That might be your father's. His are azure I’d say. Like the summer sky. Gods, Astarion,” Y/N breathed out. “You look so much like them, but… honestly, the only thing you need to know right now is that they looked relieved.” Her voice was soothing as he tried to find lies in her words, but there would be none. “I didn’t tell them anything apart from the fact that you’re alive, and all I saw was complete and utter relief.”
Y/N placed a strand of hair behind his ear as he pondered. His carmine eyes slid to hers. “Do they want to see me?”
“Yes. It was the whole reason they sought me out because I might have a single scrap of information on you.” She’d mention the kidnapping later. Or maybe never, depending on how everything went. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.
“Is it,” he hesitated, as if ashamed to be asking such a question. “Is it alright if I think this over for a bit? I’m just – there’s so much going on in my head…”
“Of course, Star!” Y/N cupped his cheeks and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. “Take all the time you need.”
“Thank you,” he sighed, his shoulders dropping, but she just shook her head.
“Nothing to thank me for. Not for this.”
And so, they continued on like that for a few days – Y/N didn’t bring the subject up, but she made sure Astarion knew, she’d be there whenever he needed to talk. Yet her mind couldn’t help but worry about the two elves in that little cottage on the other side of the town. How horrid it must be to wait for an answer that might never come, but her love was her first and only priority. When he decided it would be time, she’d support him no matter what.
It was a week after the revelation (and subsequent freakout on Astarion’s part when Y/N had removed her clothes before him, and he saw the raw skin and bruises on her ribs. She spent the whole night convincing him it was fine and talking him down from hunting the mercenary and bleeding him dry. She didn’t mention it had been his parents who’d hired him but rather said it had been an unfortunate coincidence), when Astarion awoke with a certain determination, shaking her awake.
She swatted at him like an insect buzzing by her ear. “Leave me be, you blood-sucking, elf!” Y/N grumbled, burying herself under the duvet. “It’s too early. And stop hogging the covers!”
She was just about to elbow him in the ribs if he didn’t let her sleep more, but what he said was like cold ice being poured over her, waking her up completely.
“I think I want to see my parents.”
Y/N was sat in a second. The sheet dropped down, exposing her naked chest, but she didn’t even feel the chilly air biting at her skin, even though Astarion’s gaze immediately dropped down to her breasts, eyes blazing with want.
Rolling her own eyes, she pulled the cover so that it obscured her indecency. Though it was his favourite outfit of hers, they needed to focus on the important things. “Are you sure? You can take all the time you need. There is no rush to this, and it’s a huge decision to make.”
“I’m sure,” Astarion sighed, running a hand through his moon-white locks and dropping back onto the pillows. “It’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about.”
Y/N worried her lip before sliding back down next to him, letting him wrap his arms around her body. She knew in moments like these, Astarion needed reassurance, and he craved being close to her. Holding her grounded him, and made his scattered thoughts into something solid.
She kissed right above where his heart lay. “If, you’re sure.”
“I am… I just… Will you be there?” Astarion looked down at her.
The woman gave him a smile. “Nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.”
Gently, he brushed a finger against her cheekbone and leaned to kiss her, thankful he’d found someone to walk the world with, especially during the moments he feared he might break.
The day before they’d decided on meeting, Y/N ventured out to the cabin to inform the elven couple of Astarion’s decision. Once they’d seen her walking up through the window, they were out before she even managed to get to the door, faces full of hope.
“Astarion, he wants to come and see you, but there are some… conditions…”
His mother’s brow furrowed, the grimace so familiar it sent a pang through Y/N’s heart, but she swallowed it. “Whatever he needs. Whatever you both need. Anything for our little Star.”
“So… please just don’t question this, but umm… physical contact – I know I can’t possibly understand how you feel, but let him come to you first. It might not make sense, but it’s important that he is the one to make that step.”
“Of course,” Astarion's father nodded, his mother eagerly agreeing.
“And umm… he’ll be different. He might not look like the elf you remember him being. The world wasn’t kind to him for a long time… Please don’t mention this.”
Pain flashed across their faces at her words. They must have assumed something horrible had happened to him, but to have it confirmed was a different kind of agony. But as Y/N had asked – they didn’t question, simply nodded, holding onto one another a bit tighter.
“Alright.” Her heart was somewhat settled. “Thank you. We – uh- we’ll see you later tonight then.”
And with that, she left only to find Astarion pacing the inside of their hallway upon her return.
“Is it sundown already?” He snapped his neck to her as she removed her cloak, visibly upset when Y/N shook her head.
“A couple more hours, I’m afraid,” she said, taking his hand and kissing his palm, placing it against her cheek. “Please stop worrying. It will all be alright.”
“But what if I’m making a mistake?”
She raised her brow. “Do you think you’re making a mistake?”
“N-no?” Astarion huffed. “I don’t know. I know I want to see them at least once, but what if it’s best to leave the past in the past? Why torture myself and exhume it, so to speak?”
“You can leave it all behind if that’s what you wish. But, Star, you also have the rarest of opportunities people get – a second chance.” She stepped close to him, pulling his head down by the nape of his neck so they could rest their foreheads against one another. “But you can always leave. You can always say “no.” And if someone doesn’t get that, no matter who they might be, I will gut them navel to throat.”
Astarion chuckled, brushing his nose against hers. “My knight in bloody armour, always ready to ride into battle for me.”
Y/N pecked his lips in response. “As long as I get my kisses at the end of it – without a second to spare.”
They spent the couple of hours waiting until the sun went down cleaning up around the house and then it was time to go.
As Astarion took a deep breath before closing the door, Y/N squeezed his hand. “We can turn back whenever you want to.”
But he seemed determined, only giving her a reassuring smile and twining their fingers together, her hand in his solid hold.
They walked slowly, enjoying the warm night gracing Baldur’s Gate, and soon enough they were through the city and past the woods, a small log cabin coming into view.
He stopped them a few feet away, taking in a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions.
Y/N glanced at him encouragingly. “Are you ready, Star?”
Astarion took in a deep breath, held it in for a moment and then exhaled, nodding. With this confirmation, she released his hand and ventured to the door, gently rapping her knuckles against it, immediately returning to stand beside her lover.
Instantly his palm was back into hers, as if he needed her to ground him, reassure him everything would be alright as nervous energy coursed through his veins while they waited for the inhabitants to come and see them. And though it was probably no more than ten seconds since she’d knocked, it felt like time had stood still. Once the doors opened, even nature quieted down.
The breeze shushed the tweeting birds and seemingly even the worms digging underground stopped their burrowing as finally, after two hundred years, the lost Ancunin son returned.
They stood like that for what seemed like ages, just taking one another in, before a small sob of Astarion’s name from his mother’s lips broke the spellbound silence.
It’s when he rushed for her, the elf already on her feet, meeting him halfway. Her arms wrapped tight around his body, hands smoothing down the back of his head as all the while she kept whispering “My Star, my little Star, you’re home.”
Y/N was on standby, ready to rip her away if Astarion became overwhelmed. She’d asked them to allow him to be the one to make the first step, and they had, but with such all-encompassing feelings, she just wanted him to be safe.
Though all that anxiety dissipated like ice under the blazing hear of the sun when Astarion practically melted against his mother, his fingers digging into her shoulders and back as if he never wished to be let go, both of them crumbling to their knees, still in each other’s embrace.
Tears welled along Y/N’s bottom lashes and when his father joined them, wrapping his arms around his family, they fell like rain on an autumn evening. She had to press a hand against her mouth to not sob out loud, but it didn’t seem like anyone would care, as Y/N noted Astarion’s shoulders shaking while his mother and father were freely crying, all the while touching and caressing his face, trying to ingrain the memory of having their son back in their arms.
She couldn’t imagine that feeling, didn’t ever want to, of finally being reunited with a family which you were so brutally ripped away from. Y/N almost wanted to resurrect Cazador, just so she could drive a stake through his heart again, but that might’ve been a bit too morbid of a thought in such a tender moment.
“You’re home.” His mother pulled back, cupping Astarion’s cheeks and smiling from ear to ear. “Our little Star is back home.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he choked out, but his father shook his head.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re here. That’s enough for us.”
Y/N watched as he took in the people who’d searched for him relentlessly. He never knew they’d never given up. She wondered if there would be a time, he’d believe he was worth all it. She certainly hoped so.
“Thank you,” the elf with eyes like jade said, snapping her eyes towards Y/N. “You have no idea what kind of a gift you’ve bestowed upon us. We will never be able to repay you.”
She could only wave them off, a knot in her throat. “You owe me nothing. Seeing this – this is enough for me. I’ll – uh – I’ll leave you to it then.”
Just as she was about to turn around, Astarion jumped to his feet, untangling himself from the limbs of his parents, eyes full of concern. “What? Why? What’s wrong?” He was by her side in an instant, pulling her hand to rest against his chest.
“Nothing!” Y/N shook her head. “I just – I just think maybe I should take my leave. I can be back in a few hours if you’d like, but this just all seems like – like a private family reunion.”
Astarion scoffed, his free arm weaving around her waist, completely offended. “And what exactly do you think you are to me if not family, my love? Arguably, you might be the most important part of it.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that -,”
“Hush now!” he scolded her. “You promised to be by my side through everything. Are you breaking that promise?”
“No, I just,” she stammered. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave you to it? This just feels awfully personal.”
“My love, you are the keeper of my heart. You are my true home.” Astarion cupped her cheek, resting his brow against hers, chest against chest, not caring who might see. “Without you, none of this would have happened. I could still be on that beach with a mind flayer tadpole wriggling behind my eye.” He took her hand, and kissed her knuckles, sighing as they brushed against his jaw. “I don’t want to do this without you. I want to relearn who my parents are, and I want them to get to know me, but a non-negotiable part of that is you. That is if it’s alright with you?”
A tear slipped down her cheek, as she looked deep into those ruby eyes that once held nothing but fear and pain, only to now show love and compassion and happiness. When she smiled, her grin could have rivalled the sun itself. “I’d be honoured.”
When they glanced at the two elves by the threshold of the house, they noted the horrified looks on their faces. Astarion’s guard was immediately up, but his mother beat him to it.
“My Star, I am so sorry!” She put a hand over her mouth. “We swear we didn’t know you two were lovers! We just...” She glanced at her husband in desperation, but it seemed the little scene they’d put on had rendered him speechless. “Had we known, we would have never…”
Astarion squinted at her, a dangerous note appearing in his voice. “Never would have what?”
“Oh Gods, we had your partner kidnapped,” his father finally got out, eyes only widening in more shock as it settled that Y/N wasn’t just a travelling companion or a friend, but just what she really meant to Astarion.
“You did what?!” His head snapped to Y/N who now retreated to stand between the two shocked elves, and her quite furious boyfriend.
“Astarion, it’s alright,” she tried to calm him down. “They didn’t know! Besides, I heard them arguing with that mercenary. They didn’t hurt me. In fact, I,” she let out a nervous chuckle, “I held a knife to your mother’s throat. So, call it even and let’s move past it?”
His gaze was hot like the flames, as it burned into her. “We will discuss this later.” He pointed an accusatory finger at her before taking a deep breath and exhaling. “This is absolutely not how I ever imagined a family reunion to go, let alone the introduction of my partner.”
Y/N’s shoulders dropped as he broke the settled tension, but something in his eyes told her she’d pay for her omissions. And oh, how delicious that punishment would be.
His mother still seemed to be all nerves as she invited them inside, spouting apologies in Y/N’s direction, but when she took the elf's hand in hers and gave a comforting embrace, she relaxed a little. “Let’s let the bygones be bygones.”
“I’d appreciate that,” she smiled, and wrinkles of age and time appeared around her eyes.
It was awkward at first, two centuries of hurt laying between them, two centuries of torture on Astarion’s end, of lost love and people, but slowly they opened up. And when his mother mentioned how he always used to bury his nose into strawberry fields, because it reminded him of his mother’s hair care products, it was like a damn had been opened.
The memories were still there, buried under layers of pain and horrors, but there. Maybe a little jumbled up and out of sorts, but with every hour spent together, locks were being broken and a light long lost lit up again.
Astarion had changed, but so had his parents. He let them know of his adventures, how he met Y/N and how she had turned his world upside down but abstained from the more gruesome parts. He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but if he so wished, she knew his parents would be there to listen and welcome his vulnerably with open arms.
An hour before the sun resumed its place in the sky, Y/N nudged Astarion, telling him it was time to leave. She had little doubt in her mind, his parents had caught onto what he was, even if they hadn’t mentioned Cazador. If not for the shape of his elongated canines, or the colour of his eyes, which Y/N had found out had been a beautiful shade of pale green, then because of the brutal scars on his neck. But they still pulled him into a hug with such vigour, it was like they feared they’d never see him again, which was probably a thought always haunting their minds.
“Would – would you like to come over to ours?” Astarion asked, still holding onto his mother’s hands. “It’s a bit of a mess, our place, but if you come after the sun’s down, I’m sure we can have it proper enough to take on guests.”
It was an odd request, but thankfully, neither his mother nor father said anything about the specific time request, simply hugged him once more and promised to be by their door the second the sun dipped, wine and lemon cakes in hand.
As they waved their goodbyes, Astarion slipped his palm into Y/N’s and made sure they walked all the way back like that. Once behind a closed door, he pulled her into his chest relishing in the way their bodies melded together – two puzzle pieces finally connecting and forming the most magnificent picture to exist.
“What is it like to be finally home?” Y/N asked as he swayed them to a tune only, he heard.
Astarion shook his head, pulling slightly back so he could cup her jaw. “My love, I have been home for a long time now. I’ve been safe and cared for, all thanks to you.” His eyes were so full of love and adoration, she almost choked on a breath. “Now… now it just feels complete. So thank you… thank you for being my home,” he muttered that little confession against her skin, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”
“Always, my love.” Y/N didn’t hide the tears rolling down her face and he brushed them away with a soft thumb. “Always.”
When their gazes locked, all she could see was excitement for what the new day had to offer, and she knew whatever was in store, as long as they were by one another’s side, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.
But for all that, there was an important thing she was unaware of.
As Y/N entered their living room, talking to herself and making a list of what they had to do before his parents arrived, Astarion stood and watched her, leaning against the doorframe, all the while his hands rested in his pocket, where in one of them, a beautiful ring was being twirled between his fingers.
Before they’d left, his mother had slyly pulled it off her own hand, pressing it into his palm, and whispering to him while hugging that she didn’t want to see Y/N without it the next time around.
Astarion had no intention of living his life without Y/N as his fiancé for a second longer.
When she turned around to find him on one knee, he didn’t even get to ask the question before she responded with a shout of “Yes!” and jumped on him, pulling him into a kiss he swore breathed life into his still chest.
He couldn’t wait to reintroduce Y/N to his parents as his intended.
Now all was as it should be. He was finally home. And somewhere in the garden, a rose bloomed in full.
Tags:
Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue @im-squished @strangersstranger
Astarion tags: @spacebarbarianweird
A/N: This idea was inspired by that one post of a painting Astarion's parents probably had of him, but had put away somewhere just so they didn't have to look a the son they lost, so I rectified it (Link to the inspo pic :) :( Now they have a portrait of Astarion and his love right above their fire place :)
P.S. my tags are always open :)
P.S.S. please don't plagiarise or repost on other platforms.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion imagine#astarion x reader#astarion smut#bg3 astarion#astarion my beloved#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#bg3 fanart#astarion x reader fluff#astarion x y/n#astarion x tav#astarion x you#astarion ancunin x reader#astarion ancunin x you#astarion ancunin imagine#astarion angst#astarion romance#astarion bg3#neil newbon#astarion fluff#astarion fanfic#astarion fanfiction#bg3
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Still thinking of this guy
I just saw a Gojo-like guy in a store. He was eyeing those purple shampoos for white dyed hair, I think. He had the height and the round glasses and all. It was uncanny, truly like out of the anime. Never had seen someone pull a character's look as well as this guy. I was this 👌 close to approach him and ask him to read Georg Cantor, like a cultist stalker, but fortunately (for him) I was with my mother so I behaved
#Hilarious. No L or Misa lookalike I've ever seen has been as well made as this guy#But also#I should have told him about Cantor like I told that one guy in the bus about Byron's Cain#I wish I were young and unabashedly annoying again. I guess I'm growing old because today it felt too stalkerish to me#And now I regret it#Fake Gojo please read Cantor#Gojo fans please read Cantor#There's two articles he published as one book that are so good and that don't have mathematics hard to understand#It's really pretty#There's also traditional ideas of the concept of infinity and so on at play#such as some play on concepts Giordano Bruno or Nicolas of Cusa do#Those too are so good and Gojo's powers in particular his domain and I suspect Hollow Purple (I haven't reached that yet xD)#are so juicy to read under those terms. As a super fast/couple of paragraphs long approach you could read Pascal's Sphere by Borges#Cantor mentions some of the authors mentioned there too. Pretty please it's super cool and beautiful I swear#Then there's the transfinite numbers and what they do to the infinity as understood by traditional conceptions of infinity#In the example of Zenon's paradox‚ transfinite numbers and the Continuum hypothesis sort of ruins that paradox#So Gojo's powers are faulty! But also! They could perhaps be saved by some argumentation! Like the human vs. divine plane#But still nonetheless the Continuum sort of ruins that AND ISN'T IT COOL?!!#Isn't Sukuna's domain limitless? Boundless? Isn't it cool to read it in these terms? Conceptualising it this way?#Isn't it cool to see Gojo's powers bending to that in this context?! Ajdknsns it's so cool and so juicy *sigh*#Do I think that's what the author is doing/thinking of? Not necessarily! But it plays with a tradition of some concepts#that can be read this way! And it works so well with some of what happens! It's so beautiful and poetic and cool and juicy!#The first thing Cantor does in this work in talking about is taking about the birth of the concept of infinity as the ápeiron#and thus as something boundless. Isn't it cool to think of Sukuna and Gojo in these terms?#And yet that's but the beginning. *sigh* so cool#Anyway hit me up if you want the texts and can't find them. You can use yopmail or something to receive the texts#No personal info needed#I would love to comment afterwards though if someone reads these texts haha#No pressure though! But really give it a chance. JJK is even better with these ideas in mind.There's so many fans someone must be interested#I talk too much
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Hiii!! I was wondering if you could “I can’t stop thinking about you” with Jade? If ur prompt things are still open of course! If not that’s totally okay too!!
o7 anon
summary: "I can’t stop thinking about you" type of post: short fic characters: jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, not proofread and maybe a little ooc a part of this event
"And don't forget to lock the doors when you leave,"
Azul sighs, hovering in the doorway of the Mostro Lounge with his hands on his hips.
"Luckily, nothing was stolen last time I let Floyd take the closing shift, but luck is fickle,"
He pauses, turning to you. "I'm sure you, at least, will be able to handle something so simple."
You salute the tired-looking merman before the soft swoosh of the kitchen door interrupts the conversation.
"My, you have such little faith in me, Azul. I'm wounded," a smoother, much less tense, presence follows it.
You'd always wondered how Jade is able to sound imposing without ever actually raising his voice.
Azul huffs. "I clearly was not addressing you. Good evening to the both of you... Don't stay up too late,"
And with that, he's gone.
As soon as the door is closed and Azul's inky silhouette has vanished, you turn to look at the gentleman behind you.
"I didn't even know you were here,"
"I'm not supposed to be," Jade smiles, offering little explanation.
By now, you're sure he does that on purpose.
You don't feel like being baited into a conversation, but when your only other option is silence with Jade...
"So?"
"I was taking stock," he says. "Both metaphorically and literally. We're short on limes."
His strangeness radiates off of him like a mist. You narrow your eyes at him; he's hiding something, you're sure. But what are you supposed to do- interrogate him?
"I'll leave a note," you mutter, turning your attention back to sweeping.
This is your very first closing shift at the lounge; no customers, no Azul, no sounds except for your own breathing.
And Jade's.
He smiles again. "Shall I help? You'll be done faster with another set of hands,"
He could just leave. He's not even on the clock... if this is him looping you into some ploy to get overtime, you swear...
"If you would like,"
"Excellent,"
Jade disappears into the kitchen, taking that strange air of tension with him, and returns with a rag and cleaning solution.
He's completely silent, perusing the lounge as if it were an art museum, admiring the specks and stains on each table before wiping them down.
"You seem nervous," he says merrily, not even looking at you. "Are you afraid of the dark?"
"No," a half-truth. "I'm just tired." a lie.
"I've read that many human children develop a fear of the dark. What's more, is that it's not considered irrational. How fascinating,"
You focus on the bristles of the broom in front of you. The Mostro Lounge does get rather dark at night... all of Octavinelle does.
"It's not irrational," you mutter.
"Perhaps for you. But in the sea, a child being afraid of the dark would be as silly to us as a child being afraid of sunlight would be to you,"
You pause to look out one of the windows in the lounge, the thick pane of glass separating you from the inky depths. It's almost pitch black at this hour.
Ugh. You're letting him get in your head.
You hum. "Is that why you're here, then? Protecting me from the dark?"
Jade smiles, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. "No. I was only making conversation. You seemed uncomfortable with my presence,"
"I just was expecting to be alone,"
"So was I,"
You pause, turning to him with a questioning glance.
As vague an answer as ever, you think, though there's a certain gleam in his eye that's daring you to find out for yourself.
He meets your gaze. "You interest me,"
Jade says it plainly, his tone soft, as if he thinks he might scare you away with any sudden movements.
"I can't stop thinking about you," he hums. "And I hope you understand my meaning... I do not seek to make you uncomfortable."
You set the broom against the wall. "You're not,"
He mimics you, setting the rag and bottle aside. If you didn't know any better, you could've sworn you caught a look of relief on him.
"Good. I have no malicious intentions... This time,"
You take that as a joke. It's not very funny.
Jade chuckles. "Ah, don't roll your eyes at me. I'm only lightening the mood... I would like to get to know you better, after all," he pauses. "As a confidante."
There's something oddly genuine about this.
He's as calm as ever, but you can tell there's a current of vulnerability hiding beneath the surface.
You can't help a smile at the thought.
"Not an informant, then?"
He smiles back. "Not with you, no,"
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Jennifer, I'm hearing from creators that some publishers either are or will require authors to disclose if they used AI in any way to write their book. Even brainstorming. Is there any truth to this?
I use AI to help me plot out my stories (I'm Horrible at plotting, honestly) and to help me battle writers block. Not to generate my stories!
will people look down on me for this? I'm definitely not going to lie, but some part of me wonders why it's their business if I'm not using AI to generate text. I feel so conflicted.
Well, yes and no?
Short answer: Just don't use AI to write your book. You will probably have to sign a contract that says you didn't use AI to write your book, and you shouldn't anyway, for lots of reasons. However, using AI tools is not the same thing as AI writing your book, so relax.
Long answer:
There are two (main) ways AI might come up in a contract. One is in the Warranties clause** (which I'll explain in the footnote below), and the other is in an AI clause -- not all publishers have them (yet?) but generally the AI clause has some wording like, neither the publisher or author can sell or license or give permission for the text to be "Scraped" by AI technology -- additionally, something like either the publisher or author may use AI tools in the course of normal business, but nothing in the text was generated by AI, the editor will be human, not AI, etc.
You'll notice here that both the author AND the publisher are held to the same standard -- that's important. And you'll also notice that it acknowledges that AI is a tool that MAY be used in the normal course of business. Zoom, google/gmail, adobe photoshop/acrobat, microsoft outlook/office-- all programs that publishers and authors use every day, any of which might have AI things woven into them. Autocorrect? Spellcheck? Grammarly? The thing on my tumblr RIGHT NOW that is highlighting words I should have capitalized in the sentence above? That's all AI technology. Obviously you don't have to "disclose" that you use normal tools of doing business.
If that includes "give me a list of girls names popular in the 1970s" or "what are some accidents that could happen at a skating rink" or "give me an example of plot beats in a mystery" -- OK. I still consider that a TOOL.
As long as you, a human, understand that generative AI technology uses other people's words to "create" -- so for fiction, OK if you want to brainstorm names or beats or whatever as above, as long as you are NOT USING IT TO WRITE THE BOOK -- YOU MUST WRITE THE STORY AND THE WORDS IN THE STORY.
And for nonfiction, AI makes up answers to questions that SOUND good but are actually just lies -- so PLEASE don't use AI technology to do actual research -- do your due diligence, make sure that any research you do online in any capacity (including Google) is factual, has primary sources to back it up, etc, etc. It's not actually a useful shortcut if all the info it gives you is straight up bad.
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** In all publisher contracts there's a clause called Warranties and Indemnities. In that clause, you are warranting (swearing) that you have not plagiarized your book, that you personally created and own the rights to the book so you have the ability to sell/license them, that you have full permission for anyone else's work that you have quoted in the book, that nothing in the book breaches the law, yadda yadda.
IF ALL OF THAT IS THE TRUTH, and somebody sues you for plagiarism or copyright infringement or whatever, and you really didn't do it, the publisher will defend you and you won't have a problem. If, in fact, you lied in the Warranties section, then the publisher will not defend you and will cancel the contract and you'll be liable for whatever happens and can twist in the wind as far as they are concerned.
Some publishers are adding / have added / will add something in the Warranties clause where you also attest that the text is not generated by AI. (This is for several reasons aside from the fact that AI generated stories are crapola -- 1. AFAIK, AI generated text cannot be copyrighted, and 2. AI generated text may be plagiarized, soooo you'd be in danger of being in breach of your warranty even if it DIDN'T specifically call out AI!)
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