#i will try to. do the work i havent done in weeks right here right now

[kokolattx]

i am rabid i am frothing at the mouth, college is ending me but the semester is almost over!! the moment it ends im going to draw so much my hands will fall out!! also v happy here :] good vibes despite all the fictional murder going around

[afternines]

I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH

[garlicgh0st]

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my gf's son not to call me dad?

I (22M) have been dating my gf (24F) for 4 years now. She has a 7 year old whose dad isn't in the picture anymore - he hasn't been since the kid was born. My gf says he was abusive and I think there are some charges against him but as far as I know, nothing was proven. He has other kids too who he does have a relationship with but he doesn't have custody rights with my gf's son so they hasn't been allowed to have a relationship.

My gf and I live together and are both in college. I am going to be a surgeon and she wants to study science but she hasn't decided what to do with it yet. Because we're both busy with that, her son doesn't live with us full time. He stays with her parents during the week. This means that we have to dedicate our weekends to looking after the kid. I didn't really mind this at first but her parents are really pushing for her to look after him during the week now too, which we don't have time for. I hear how that doesn't sound great but the plan has always been that her parents will take care of the kid until she finishes with school. She has classes for 4+ hours from Mon-Thurs, plus she needs to spend a few hours studying every day, then she has labs on Friday for most of the day. I have classes all week for fewer hours each day but next semester I'll probably be doing an internship so I'll have more work to do. Then we pick up her kid on Friday evenings and spend the whole weekend with him. There's hardly any time for us to spend time alone together. I like her son and he's usually fun to have around but both of us are obviously stressed from having no down time so most weekends my gf and her son get into an argument or something and things escalate. I try not to get involved when that happens. Sometimes my gf and I are the ones who end up arguing and in that case, I usually go to my parents house.

Basically, I'm not super involved with the kid. Her parents want us to spend all of our free time on parenting despite originally agreeing that it was better if my gf focused on school. He has a dad who could probably be more involved but my gf and her family don't want him around. I've suggested that maybe it would be a better solution for her son to live with his dad full time, that way she can focus on school and then her career and still have time for herself and for us. I love her but she doesn't really have maternal instincts and she doesn't actually want kids, she has said a lot that she regrets not giving him up for adoption.

Recently, we were out for dinner with my gf's sister and kid, and the kid called me his dad. He's done this a lot and usually I just kind of ignore it, but no one else corrected him this time and I felt like the kid deserved the truth. I asked him then and there not to call me dad because he has a real dad who probably wouldn't like it. He didn't seem upset by it but my gf's sister lost it. She thinks I don't want the kid around and that I'm the reason my gf doesn't spend more time with him. She also thinks this was the first time my gf's son heard about his bio dad. Total conjecture, but she won't hear my side of it. The kid knows I havent been around since he was born so he obviously knows someone else must be his dad. I told my gf I don't think it's fair to let the kid call me dad when he has a real dad out there and she sort of agrees. She told her son not to call me dad anymore and they had a long talk about it. She still doesn't want the real dad involved but that's a whole other battle.

Here's why I think I might be the asshole: I said this to the kid in a moment of annoyance, which probably wasn't the way to bring it up. Like I said, he didn't seem upset by it but I wasn't there for the longer conversation so I don't know exactly. I think he's old enough to be allowed to know about his real dad in a more serious way. It's kind of messed up that he could run into his dad in the street (we live in a pretty small town) and wouldn't know it. I'm not his dad and for the foreseeable future, I won't be responsible for him as a parent because he still lives with his grandparents. I think it's reasonable to say that he shouldn't call me dad. So, AITA?

[wcnderlnds]

whats left of me | kai anderson

✧ fluff/angstober day two | "i cant believe i wasted my life on you" ✧

・❥・warnings: kai himself is a whole warning... but other than that theres maybe one swear word. ・❥・ authors note: i havent watched cult in like a year but i hate to love this man.

Before things had changed, Kai had been your everything. The two of you had grown up together – seen each other at your best and worst… or so you thought. Little did you know Kai’s worst had yet to come. Things at home were never great for Kai but you had been his little ray of sunshine in those dark days. The nights you spent in the basement cuddling on the couch with him were what had got him through most of the time. It always gave him something to look forward to. But, of course, most of the time you were over his parents could be heard arguing upstairs. Kai had always pretended like it didn’t bother him but you knew it did. You always knew.

Kai had never truly explained to you what had happened to his parents - just that they were gone. It was something you never questioned, especially when he’d made you pinky promise not to. If there was one thing you never did, that was break a pinky promise. That was something the two of you had done since you were kids. The one time you had broke one when you were five, Kai hadn’t spoken to you for a whole week so you’d never done it again.

The more time passed, the more Kai fell off the deep end but you were determined to stick by his side. It was how he was coping with his trauma. Everyone processed things differently. You told yourself that he needed you, that deep down inside there was still the Kai you knew in there despite all the horrible things he’d started to do. There had always been hope inside you that he’d find his way through the other side.

“You’ll always love me, right?” He asked one night, his blue hair falling into his eyes as you sat with your pinky hooked with his.

“Yeah, always.”

“And, you’ll never leave me?”

“Never.”

The plan was to always stay with him, to always be the support he needed but that got harder and harder as time passed. He became cruel and manipulative especially towards you. So many times you had tried to leave but he had always made you feel bad, always made you feel like you owed him something. So, you stuck by his side. Everyday your heart broke a little bit more as you realised the boy you had once loved was gone; now replaced by this… awful, disgusting human being. There was no way to describe how much that hurt. How every single sharp word he spat at you made you curl up and cry yourself to sleep every single night. 

Things took a turn the night he called you out right in front of his cult members. He absolutely embarrassed you and made you look stupid. That was when you finally snapped. The second you were alone you let him know exactly how you felt. There was no holding back now. Enough was enough and you’d really had enough.

“How could you do that to me?” You cried, pushing him slightly. He didn’t even stumble.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you acted like an idiot and I had to put you in your place,” Kai shot back.

“All I did was suggest that maybe you calm down a little bit and you had to call me out in front of everyone like that? Call me all those names? Say all those horrible, disgusting things?”

“Idiots get punished.” That floored you. Tears brimmed in your eyes causing him to scoff. “Grow up. Tears don’t work on me. You know that better than anyone.”

“What happened to you? What happened to my Kai?” You had to bite back a sob as he just shrugged his shoulders. He really didn’t give a damn about you.

“Nothing. I’m right here.”

“No, you’re not and you haven’t been for a very long time.”

He took a step toward you, grabbing your wrist to pull you closer to him. His hot breath fanned your face as he looked down at you, tucking your hair behind your ear. It was almost a soft gesture but you knew it was just a way to try and get you to calm down. He knew how to make you putty in his arms but it wasn’t going to work this time. “I’ve never left. You’re the one that’s turned into a whiny little bitch.”

At that you pulled back and did the one thing you never thought you’d do and slapped him straight across the face. “I can’t believe I wasted my life on you.”

You headed to the door almost in a run. Kai stood in shock momentarily, his hand on his cheek where you’d slapped him. The sting had almost woke up him but it was fleeting when a thunderous look plastered on his face. He ran after you. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I’m leaving.” The sob you’d been holding back finally escaped. It felt like someone had ripped your heart from your chest and stomped it into a million pieces.

“You promised me. You said you never would!” Kai yelled. Why was his heart aching all of a sudden? Why did it feel like the world was spinning?

The tears were falling freely down your face now as you spun around to face the stranger in front of you. “Sometimes promises are meant to be broken.”

“You can’t leave me!” Kai reached out to grab your arm but you were quick and took a step back, hand on the door handle as you took one last look at him.

“Goodbye Kai.”

Before Kai could even react, you were gone. What did it matter anyway? He didn’t need you. He really didn’t.

…except he did but he’d never admit that.

[axelsagewrites]

Could I request Alpha!Rhaenyra x omega!handmaiden!reader where they’re drawn to each other from the moment they meet and bond over their mutual trust issues regarding losing loved ones while slowly falling in love on Dragonstone? Like Nyra is cold and distant with everyone else, hesitant to let anyone in, but she just clicks with reader and whenever they’re alone, Nyra just melts and goes all soft, all affectionate touches and sweet nicknames and tender looks? (Two of my fav nicknames she’d call reader are: my little one, and Perzītsos (little flame) Maybe even some soft smut? It doesn’t have to be omegaverse if you’re not comfortable with writing it

Rhaenyra Targaryen*Perzītsos

Pairings: Rhaenyra x handmaiden!f!reader

Warnings: mentions of loss, family death, grieving, smut, fingering, f!recieiving oral, nipple play, pet names, soft smut 18+

Word count: 3110

A/N: trying to pick between emma and millie for a Rhaenyra gif is a near impossible decision

also i wouldve done the omega and alpha things but i havent really read much like that so i didnt wanna accidentally butcher it so i hope this was okay!

Masterlist Here

Translations

Perzītsos (little flame) ñuha dōna (my sweet)

All the servants had lined up, backs pressed against the stone walls of the corridor, waiting for the princess arrival. Heads bowed, hands whipping sweat on their skirts, hushed whispers to see if anyone had caught a glimpse of her yet. The sound of dragon wings batting through the skies alerted you all to her arrival.

Rhaenyra barely looked at anyone, let alone the servants as she walked the halls of her new home. As she spoke to the lords of Dragonstone at the entrance you took the moment to take her in. Her long silver hair was windswept from the fight, cascading down her back, yet somehow not tangled from the flight. She didn’t wear what you would expect of a princess, instead clad in leather and bright red cloth for ease of riding. Her eyes were the softest of lilacs, staring at you like flowers.

Oh fuck! You thought as your eyes snapped to the ground. She had caught your stares and you could only hope from this distance she did not see your embarrassment. What you hadn’t saw was the slight smirk on her face or the way her eyes lingered on you as she passed you by. Your new boss had told you yesterday you would be one of her many handmaidens and not to expect any great things out of washing the princess delicates so to keep your head down. You’d only arrived last week, and you had already made the first mistake.

You had hoped to spend the rest of your life with your family in Old Town even if only as a servant, but a fire had made that impossible. You escaped with your life but had lost it at the same time. One of the lords of the manor you worked in took pity on you and had you sent here so to not have to suffer the memories. Yet Dragonstone was cold, its walls empty and dark, and its people sombre even when greeting their princess.

The princess had been practically locked in her chamber for the past week, barely saying two words to her servants at a time. her eyes would always watch your every move as you cleaned her room. She never even let you do half your tasks and wouldn’t allow anyone to touch her. she was cold but you could not blame her since you too missed home, even if home was so different for you both. “Take these to the princess for her bath,” the head maid shoved a small chest into your hands before stacking towels on top. “She’s in a right grouchy mood for someone who has everything,” the woman muttered as she stomped off.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you set off to the princess’s chambers. they had made you walk this path till your feet felt like they were going to crack to make sure you never got lost however as you stood in front of the door you kind of wish you had got lost. Taking a deep breath, you steadied the chest on your hip and knocked on the heavy wooden door. a moment passed before someone called out, “Come in,”

When your hand took the handle, you hadn’t expected the door to be so heavy. You shuffled forward, shoving the door open by your shoulder as you struggled to move the wood while balancing the chest. When you finally got in the room you were met again with those violet eyes. Rhaenyra smirked as she watched your head drop in embarrassment as you quickly shuffled in the room.

“Need a hand?” she asked as she stood from the bed she had been sitting on.

“It’s alright my princess I’ve got it- “you started to say as you placed the towels on the table beside the steaming hot bath when crash. The chest slipped from your hip and hit the ground, the wooden corner splintering and the top breaking over. “No,” you gasped as you knelt down to try put all the bath salts and fragrances back into the chest.

You heard footsteps but didn’t look up till Rhaenyra’s hand shot out to pick up one of the bottles, “Let me help you,” she said softly, ignoring the way you gaped at her. up close those eyes seemed even more magical, “Are you okay?” she asked, her eyes meeting you.

You realised she had picked up all the pieces and quickly went to stand, “Yes princess, thank you princess, princess I- “

“Rhaenyra,” she cut you off.

Pausing for a moment, eyes scrunched in confusion, before you nodded, “Princess Rhaynera I- “your sentence was cut off by her soft giggles.

“No please just call me Rhaenyra. In my chambers at least. Id like some form of normalcy at least,” Rhaenyra said as she stood up, but she did not move back as you began to lay out the bath supplies on the table. It seemed almost that she stepped closer. “What is your name?” she asked, her breath brushing the back of your neck.

You turned around, trying to stand tall, as you told her. “A beautiful name,” she said, her lips finally curved into a smile. It suited her face far better than her usual melancholy. “Are you here to ready the bath?”

“Yes pri- “you said, stopping suddenly with an awkward smile, “Rhaenyra. It will only be a few moments longer,”

“Thank you,” Rhaenyra said, a slight laugh in her voice as she stepped away to begin taking her jewellery off.

As you poured the salts in you decided to try actually speaking to her, perhaps she just missed conversation you thought. “I can help you with that,” you said causing her to spin round, “if you give me a moment of course,” you said as you stirred the salts in before picking up the bottle of fragrance the king had sent in spades for her.

“I know how to take my own jewellery off,” she said, turning away again.

“I did not mean to offend you,” you said quietly as the sweet smell filled the room, “I just like to be of help,”

Rhaenyra chuckled as she sat her jewels down, small things that cost more than your life, “I don’t think anyone could help me truly,” she said as she began to tie her hair up.

“Maybe,” you said as you laid out the towels, “but you never know till you ask. My mother always told me that,” you said, pausing for a moment in the sweet memory. She had always been so positive.

Rhaenyra paused briefly before finishing her hair. “Mothers always seem so wise,” she said as she looked out the window, “Till they die that is,” she muttered as her hands moved to try unstringing the laces behind her back.

“You don’t miss the fire till it’s gone cold,” you said as you checked the waters temperature, deciding the bath was in fact ready. Rhaenyra turned round with a questioning look, abandoning her futile attempts to undress herself, “That’s what my lord told me when I lost mine. Would you like me to get the laces princess?” you asked, somehow managing to stay calm as you spoke.

Rhaenyra nodded and you moved to stand behind her, gently loosening the dress, “Do you miss her?” Rhaenyra asked as the dress was loose enough for her to slip off her shoulders.

“Everyday,” you said as you picked up the heavy fabric and attempted to fold it.

“Me too,” she sighed as she moved to help you fold the dress, “Does it get easier?”

“No,” you said honestly as you bundled the gown into a drawer, “but it hurts less, in time,”

Rhaenyra didn’t say anything as she walked towards the bath. You silently helped her slip into the hot water, her shift going see through in the water, but you quickly averted your eyes. “Goodnight Rhaenyra,” you said as you bowed your head and went to leave.

“Wait,” she called out as your hand rested on the door handle, “Could you stay?” she said, her voice going quiet as she averted her gaze, “You could brush my hair?” she asked with a hopeful smile.

“Of course,” you smiled back at her, “It would be my pleasure princess- “

“Rhae,” she said cutting you off. “Call me Rhae,” she said as she settled back in the water.

“Okay Rhae,” you said as you moved a stool to sit behind her bath and took a brush in your hand, “Lean back,” you said as you took down her hair and began to brush.

Rhaenyra began requesting you daily for certain tasks. You would be the one to brush her hair, help her dress, arrange her bath. At first Rhaenyra would listen to your stories as you did your chores. She was nearly always silent when you did so, asking maybe one or two questions the whole time but always insisting you continued when you stopped.

Then she began to tell you, her stories. About her first time on a dragon, about her father’s new wife, and her mother’s death. Slowly she opened up more and more. You began to see her outside of chores. She’d have you sneak out to join her dinners or even a few times let you meet her dragon with the promise of a ride on it one day. Your meetings got longer and her words sweeter. Her hand began to linger when she would pass you the brush or your hands rested a moment too long on her shoulders until the day you kissed her without even thinking.

You had been helping her dress and had moved to her front to adjust the material. “All done,” you said, suddenly looking up from where your head had been tilted down to fix the bodice when your nose brushed against hers. Her lips brushed yours as your head moved up, her eyes gazing into yours and without a thought or a word you leaned forward closing the gap. It was a short but soft kiss, and you pulled back, wide eyed and almost teary as you expected to be scolded when Rhaenyra stepped forward.

Her lips crashed onto yours, her hands moving to hold your back and press you into her tighter. Your hands had been trapped between your bodies and snaked up her front to rest on her shoulders. This kiss was desperate, hungry, and so needy that you didn’t part for air till your head grew dizzy. “You shall dine with me tonight,” she whispered, her forehead resting on yours, “and I will count down the minutes till I return to find you in these chambers,”

That had been weeks ago. Now you lay in a bed of fine silks and furs, a silver haired girl laying with her head on your chest as you stroked her soft strands. “Rhae?” you asked quietly, “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” she whispered back. You couldn’t help but smile at her voice, “I’m just enjoying your company Perzītsos,” little flame, she whispered still in the quiet room only lit by a few candles. She had given you one of her shifts to wear as you settled into the bed with her, and it felt like clouds on your skin. “Is that wrong of me?” she asked as she brought your hand to her mouth to kiss.

“Not at all zaldrīzes,” you said, kissing the top of her head.

“Your Valyrian is improving,” you could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

You smiled down at the girl curled in your lap, “Only because of my teacher,” you said.

Rhaenyra shuffled and moved to sit up, her legs draped over your lap as she curled into you, her head resting on your shoulder, “It is easy to teach such a willing student,” she praised, kissing your check.

You turned your head, resting your forehead on hers before capturing her kiss. Her hand moved to hold your cheeks while yours softly squeezed her hip. Without a word Rhaenyra moved to straddle your legs before crashing her lips back to yours, holding your face gently. The kiss was comfortable, the type of kiss you melt into. Your hands moved from her hips to her back, pressing her chest into yours as she led the kiss.

Rhaenyra’s hands slipped down from your face between your bodies, resting over the thin fabric covering your chest. “Patience little one,” she giggled as she pushed back, “Good things come to those who wait,”

“I’ve been waiting for someone like you for a long time Nyra,” you panted before rejoining your lips, your hands slipping down to squeeze her ass over her shift.

Rhaenyra’s hands slipped off your body but only for a moment to pull off the thin fabric covering her body. “That’s better,” she said as she as she placed your hands back on the soft flesh of her ass as her hands began to gently squeeze your chest.

Her lips became more feverous, but Rhaenyra was careful not to burn you, always going softer on her favourite hand maiden. Rhaenyra’s hips began to grind down, signalling to you without words. One of your hands slipped from her back to her front, moving between your bodies to run a finger up her cunt, “So wet for me,” you praised with a slight smirk.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she giggled as she pulled you back in.

Your fingers trailed up and down her wet folds for only a few moments before slowly pushing into her entrance. Rhaenyra moaned into the kiss as your fingers slipped in, your thumb positioned to rub slow circles into her clit which you had worked over so many times now. Rhaenyra began to slowly buck her hips on your fingers, fucking herself slowly as your fingers curled.

Her moans were soft and mixed with gasps as you began to kiss down her jaw and neck. The soft skin was like a drug as your lips moved down to nip at her collarbones. Your spare hand moved from her ass to her chest as you began to kiss her chest before taking one of her hardened nipples into your mouth, sucking on it gently, “Yes,” Rhaenyra moaned softly as your fingers began to trace her hardened bud, “Don’t stop,”

“Whatever you want,” you whispered before lightly biting the bud with your teeth.

“You,” she gasped, “I want you,” she moaned as your fingers curled into that all too familiar spot. The way her hips began to buck was a familiar sight. your hand moved from her chest to her hips to hold them in place as you helped her moan out in ecstasy, curling your fingers still as she rode out her orgasm before collapsing into your arms.

Rhaenyra’s head rested on your shoulder for a moment as she caught her breath. Your hands moved to rub soft circles into her back, holding her close. After a few moments Rhaenyra lifted her head to leave a soft kiss onto your lips, “Your turn,” she whispered.

“It’s okay princess- “

“Let me take care of you,” she interrupted, brushing your hair out of your face, “Lay down little one. I want to hear you,” she said as she moved to let you lay on the soft sheets.

Her eyes raked over you body, the shift doing little to cover your modesty. Rhaenyra sat next to you, reaching out to trace your hardened nipples over your clothes, “So pretty,” she muttered before she moved lean over your body. She kissed your lips before trailing down your body, leaving kisses down your skin till she reached your thighs.

Rhaenyra left several kisses up the sensitive skin while you shivered from her touch. Her soft breath fanned over your wet cunt, already making your body tense. You breathed in sharply when she placed a sudden kiss to your clit, your hands gripping the fine sheets. “Relax,” she whispered with a teasing tone, “Trust me little one,” she said as she moved your thighs over her shoulders, “Let me hear your sweet sounds,” she said before licking a soft stripe up your folds.

Your hands tightened around the sheets as Rhaenyra began to lap up your juices, softly at first but with growing hunger. She moved her head till her nose brushed your clit, making your body jerk. Rhaynera hands wrapped around your legs, squeezing the soft flesh of your thighs as she began to fuck you with her tongue.

You could feel the knot growing in your stomach and you did your best to stay quiet, but Rhaenyra was not making it easy. One of her hands released your thigh only for her to begin teasing your hole with her fingers. Rhaenyra slowly eased two fingers into you, curling them slowly inside you as her mouth moved up to place open mouth kisses to your clit. Her tongue massaged your bundle of nerves while her fingers began to brush over that one particular spot.

Your soft moans filled the chambers and the fear of someone entering didn’t even faze you as your body tightened. When you felt her begin to lightly suck on your clit you could feel your peak ready to tip so when her teeth grazed the bundle of nerves you began to crash on her tongue, your knuckles turning white as you gripped the sheets.

Rhaenyra didn’t stop even as your thighs tightened around her head. You felt your body might break in half as her mouth seemed to get more determined to milk another out of you. it didn’t take long till your body was jerking as you tried to almost fight off the second orgasm, but it was futile once her fingers curled to hit your sweet spot and you came again on her face.

This time Rhaenyra came up for air as you lay in bed, half dazed as you stared at the ceiling. “You were so good for me,” Rhaenyra praised as she lay beside you, brushing the hair out of your face, “Can I hold you little one?” she asked, raising your hand to her lips and to kiss your knuckles.

You nodded, shuffling slightly so that Rhaenyra could lay behind you, her arms wrapped around your front while her head buried into the crook of your neck. “Get some sleep darling,” Rhaenyra said, kissing your shoulder, “I’ll be here in the morning,”

“Okay,” you whispered as you felt Rhaenyra shuffle and suddenly a thick blanket fell over you both, “Gnight Rhae,” you said, already half asleep,”

“Goodnight Perzītsos,”

Taglist @clairacassidy @starkleila @valeskafics

[sigsfigs]

hi everyone!! this is a little bit of a more personal post but my financial situation has gotten quite dire so i am opening up heavily discounted emergency commissions! if you cant commission me thats 100% okay but i would really really appreciate your support in sharing this post!

payment up front through zelle (preferred), paypal or venmo! dm me here on tumblr to reserve a slot :) i expect approximately two weeks turnaround time but i'll try my best to get them done asap!

+$10 per extra character and prices might change if the concept is very complex! everything is negotiable so dont be scared to ask questions u_u

if anyone would like to hear more about my situation/why i need to open up emergency commissions, i will explain under the cut! <3

i dont want to share too much about my life on here but i do think its a bit important to give context as to why its so important for me right now !!!! i moved across the country recently to live with my friends but i managed to get a job only very recently . since i started working in the middle of the pay period i havent been able to get paid yet despite it being the end of the month when bills are usually due !! i had my savings of course but i had to chew through pretty much all of them in order to pay rent/groceries/living necessities so all this money will go directly to my survival . i suffer from a ton of chronic physical illnesses which affect my day to day life so along with bills i have been needing to buy medical supplies/aides so i can live independently in a more comfortable way . i will be getting paid eventually but for now i can only try to rely on commissions so again any support is very much appreciated! i will probably never get this personal ever again i am not a very public person at all v_v));

[ewyband]

EWY BIG Q&A

hi!! recently i did a q&a on instagram about SLAD. unfortunately (or fortunately?) there were too many questions to answer purely on instagram stories without spamming. here's the ones i couldn't answer on instagram, answered here!

MERLOT, both in terms of my favourite composition and performance

my partner and i were on a break whilst they were studying abroad ("we're only on month 1 of 4"). I just kinda word vomited my feelings. I was feeling pretty depressed at the time I wont lie.

yes i DID!!! this EP was MADE for fun. i wrote the songs specifically to make fun songs to play live. (aside from HOLLOW DRUG)

"And I could be displaced from my home And it could be seen on all your phones Is it real? Or is it fake? Look close, do my arms look like legs?"

probs the most lyrically dense I've been?? i'm not sure.

first of all, thank you so much!! second, some songs i write it all in one day but others can take a week or so before i'm fully happy with how its sounding. that being said, i always end up changing something before recording (usually around a month after writing, but in the case of MERLOT, that was recorded only a week after writing).

if i had to just name one, it'd be Nirvana. I wrote a 3000 word essay on In Utero for uni and that genuinely inspired me to make these songs. I really loved how Nirvana performed and I thought 'man, if only I had songs like that where I'd have an excuse to go crazy' other influences would include Jeff Rosenstock (my #1 fav artist) and PUP (greatest live show I've ever been to) btw, thank u sm!!

yes,,, very much

unfortunately i havent learnt proper scream technique so all of my screams were done at the very very end of my recording sessions. i think it worked out because that meant i had a lot of pent up frustration

i will start by saying my uni lets me hire out all of these microphones for free (if you don't count the student loan) vocals: SM7b & RE20 (only on sociopathic leech) guitar: AKG C414 matched pair (acoustic and electric) bass: my takes were originally done with an RE20, pretty sure fern just DI'd drums: Audix DP7 + SM57 (for hi-hat) + C414 for room mic's

i'll try get this done tomorrow!

i was in a guitar lesson at uni and we were talking about chromatics in the blues scale. my guitar teacher suggested i try to make a riff using the blues scale and particularly the chromatic part. that riff ended up being the middle 8 section of RIGHTS TO MY WRONGS. the rest of the song basically acted as a vessel to transport this breakdown middle 8 section. hopefully it doesn't come across that way !!!!!! but that was the main idea.

it felt very natural. i'll probably continue to go this direction in my future releases.

its mainly a reference to SOCIOPATHIC LEECH! 'i could beat you with a bat'. i just wanted something that felt visceral and angry and i feel like izzie really captured that.

yes and no! brett romnes is a super nice guy and very fun to work with. i obviously had my own mixes so he could see what i preferred and essentially made it better. i think there ended up being 4 drafts before we reached a final master.

these were my original mixing notes! i think the only thing that really got lost in translation was i added some really subtle vocal distortion at the end of HOLLOW DRUG in my original mix. in the end, i feel empowered by brett because he made it sound like what i felt it should sound like in my head (DOES THIS SENTENCE MAKE SENSE!?)

after i wrote SOCIOPATHIC LEECH and RIGHTS TO MY WRONGS, i was like 'okay, this is the style we're going for, lets do some sort of project in this particular style' i was pretty dead set on an EP since i'd just done an album. so to answer your question, yes and no!

i wish i could put something significant here. im sure theres some psychologist out there who could tell me that the song represents something about me. i was feeling alienated at the time, hopefully this helps? "confess your sins to the crowd, no-one can hear you when you're talking so loud" is definitely about my frustrations with song meanings though

hi mikey!

this person was the GM for a cyberpunk TTRPG game i played in. i wanted to write a cyberpunk themed album at one point but i guess that one merlot line is the closest we'll get.

i have semi answered this question but I WANTED TO WRITE SONGS THAT WERE FUN TO PLAY LIVE !!!!! and i think it worked out in the end

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO WROTE IN !!! MY ASKBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN!!!

[saffronwritings]

❄️Bad Timing❄️

An Albedo One Shot

Wordcount: 4.9k Content Warnings: Making out? A/N: So I've been getting back into Genshin Impact more recently and I hate how much I simp over some of the men in this game. I don't know why i thought of this, but here we go. I have no idea how to write some of these characters so I'm sorry in advance, but I hope you enjoy <3

It had been over two weeks since Albedo had holed himself up at his campsite up in Dragonspine. It was deep in the snowy mountains infested with hilichurls and Fatui cronies alike. You knew why Albedo had always escaped into the mountains as he enjoyed his solitary research conditions. Sometimes he brought Klee along with him to help with experiments. Sometimes you’d even be invited to come help him with his many experiments. It was unusual to go this long without hearing from the alchemist himself.

You had volunteered to go up to the campsite to check in on your recluse alchemist friend. You had become him assistant after continuing to show up to his workshop in Mondstadt and showed interest in his experiments. You had also quickly gotten along with his younger adoptive sister, Klee. You had not gotten upset at her when she tried to blow up your cooking and he had asked if you were looking for work. He offered you a position as his assistant and the rest was history. 

Sucrose and you had been back and forth on whether or not to go out to the mountain campsite to make sure Albedo hadn’t frozen over. She had claimed he was fine and that he didnt want to be bothered. However, you knew how he got when he was on the verge of a breakthrough. He rarely slept and he also rarely ate. This was your opportunity to just go check on him, see how things were going, eat a meal together, ask when he was coming back down to Mondstadt, and head back. It was a days journey to get to his spot on Dragonspine, so as long as you left before sunset you’d at least reach the bottom of the mountain by nightfall. 

You had checked the weather before you left and decided against bringing the coat Sucrose insisted you bring with you. You scoffed and had let her know that the cold was never really an issue with you. Your electr vision had usually done a good job at keeping your body temperature regulated in the cold. However, as soon as you had reached Albedo’s campsite, you were a chattering shivering mess. “Y/n! What on earth are you doing here?” Albedo asked when he turned around and saw your shaking figure.

“You hadn’t been back to the workshop in a month and we havent heard from you for about two weeks. Everyone was starting to get worried about you.” You pouted, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to get some body heat back. He quickly made his way over to you and shrugged his jacket off. “No no its okay! I’m okay!” You replied through chattering teeth. He smiled at you in the way that made butterflies go wild in your stomach. As if he was fond of you and the way you were a shivering mess right now.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can heat myself with alchemy. You on the other hand cannot.” He chuckled while shaking his head. He wrapped the warmed jacket around your shoulders. You tried hard not to blush at the action. You’d be lying to yourself if you tried to say you didn’t harbor feelings for Albedo. 

It was always so easy to talk with him about anything. The topic didn’t matter. There were plenty of nights when you had spent your time up here in the mountain that the two of you would sit under the stars and talk about nothing until the sun rose. Everything felt natural with him by your side. Although, Albedo was a bit of a social pariah. He didn’t showcase his emotions as easily as any one else. He showed adoration and caring moments with his adoptive sister, and occasionally would embrace you in a hug.

However, you weren’t going to try and ruin everything you had built because of some silly feelings that managed to blossom over the time you’ve spent with the Alchemist. His hands lingered on his coat for a moment before he swiftly turned back to the beakers that were on the table he was working on. “Have you made any new discoveries in your time up here?” You had asked after a moment. You didn’t want to break his concentration or even be a hindrance to his experiments. He flashed a smile as he wrote something down in his notebook. 

“Not quite yet, although the seclusion definitely helped quiet my mind.” He said as he glanced over at you and you sighed. “Have you eaten?” You pressed on, making him stop in his tracks. “I eat when I need to.” He replied in a more quieter tone. A huff of frustration exited your lips as you dropped your pack onto the open space of the table he was working on. You pulled out a takeout container of some food you had snagged in Mondstadt. 

He smiled up at you as you passed over the food to him. “Were.. you worried about me?” He asked suddenly, looking at you with an intensity you couldnt define. You smiled at him while another chill ran down your spine. “Of course, I’m always going to worry about you. You’re my friend, and when youre gone up in the mountains for weeks at a time, I tend to worry about you.” You admitted, avoiding his gaze by looking over the beakers filled with mysterious liquids.

You looked up over at him when a few moments of silence had passed. There was a faint blush spread across his cheeks that took you by surprise. Was it a blush on his cheeks or just the cold wind kissing his cheeks red? “Thank you. You really didn’t have to go through all this trouble. I can take care of myself just fine.” He started, a small pout on his lips. “The atmosphere and scenery here are excellent for inspiration. And if I spend an extended period of time up here, I can get a better understanding of the geography of the area. Plus, I get to enjoy the isolation.” He explained, opening the container and sighing at the smell of the food. 

“I understand, thats why I wait to come visit you. I never want to be a bother, but I still want to check up on you to make sure you’re at least doing okay.” You responded as he took the plastic utensils and dug into the food. He scooped a few mouthfuls of the food into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully at your response before swallowing the bites he had taken. “I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing. I enjoy seeing you as well. Even though I know that I’m capable of handling things by myself, sometimes I do feel comforted by having someone visit me like this.” He explained, wiping his mouth with a napkin that was next to the take out box.

You smiled at him, your heart warming at the idea that Albedo enjoyed your visits. Friendly visits. These visits were friendly. Nothing more. Another chill ran down your spine as you looked up at the sky. “When do you think you’ll be heading back down to Mondstadt? A few of the others have also been asking about you.” You mentioned, trying not to stare at him while he was scarfing down his food. He had finished up his meal when he took a sip of his water. A content sigh leaving his lips as he smiled at her.

“I’m planning to stay here for another three days. I’ll be completeing a few more projects by then. Once I’m finished I’ll return to Mondstadt. I know that everyone there worries about me being alone up here, but I hope they don’t worry too much. I am doing just fine.” He said, chuckling at the end at my raised eyebrow at his sentence. He had just scarfed his food down without even blinking twice. Yes, he could take care of himself, but he was always second to his research.

You smiled softly at him and nodded. “We know you can take care of yourself, but we are still your friends and colleagues and we still worry about you.” You mentioned, walking towards him. However, you were taken off guard when a few heavier snowflakes hit your nose. You looked up at the sky and instantly froze seeing the sudden heavy snowfall. A slew of curses flew out under your breath. “I didn’t know it was supposed to snow today…” You whispered as you weighed your options. 

“You should head back to Mondstadt. I can handle myself in this environment,” He stated looking over at you with concern in his eyes. “Youre shivering. You shouldnt stay out here in these conditions.” You hadn’t broken your eye contact with the falling snow getting denser by the minute. “Do you really think I’ll make it down the mountain before the snow gets worse?” You asked in a hushed tone. 

He looked out at the snow and waited a moment before responding to your question. “You might find it difficult traveling in these weather conditions…” He started. You were able to take care of yourself. You had time and time again with the hilichurls and the fatui lowlifes. However, finding yourself stuck in a snow storm, traversing these dangerous mountain slopes you weren’t so sure it would be the smartest idea. “Would you…” He started to say, trailing off as he watched the snow continue to fall in even heavier clumps. “Wait here with me for a while.” He finally finished saying to you as he turned towards you.

His full attention was on you and the offer was ringing out in your ears. You hadn’t brought a tent, you hadn’t brought anything. You hadn’t intended to stay with him. “Are.. are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden to you or be a distraction from your research. I could find caves along the way back to Mondstadt to take cover in.” You suggested and his mouth instantly turned into a frown. He instantly shook his head to your suggestion. 

“You are no burden to me. If anything, you are doing a favor if you stay.” He said, making you raise an eyebrow in question to his statement. “The snow is starting to pick upm and returning to Mondstadt in these conditions would be rather dangerous. You wouldn’t want me to worry, would you?” He asked, a smile softly crossing his lips. Your face instantly burned at that sentiment. He would worry about you? 

“I suppose thats fair..” You nodded, wrapping yourself in his coat. It smelled of campfires and various spices. He did cook for himself when he wasn’t fully indulging in his research. His cooking always made your mouth water. The smell of his jacket was intoxicating and you were embarrassed at how happy it made you being wrapped up in it. “The winds are picking up, we should head into the tent for shelter.” He said, grabbing your hand gentled and guiding you towards his tent. “Besides, your safety is my priority.” He smiled before entering the tent. 

Your head was spinning. Was it the storm or the forced close proximity you were about to enter with Albedo. You had spent many nights talking on the floor of his tent just talking about the universe and theories with him. For some reason, this had felt more personal. You were wearing his coat and entering his tent. “We will be waiting out the storm in here for the time being.” He said behind the flaps of the entrance of his tent.

You had been in the tent a plethora of times. You weren’t sure why you were so hesitant. “Only if you’re sure you wont mind.” You said, pushing past the tent’s flaps to enter the tent. The tent itself wasn’t huge like some other travler’s would take. Albedo was able to fit a small blowup bed, a small cushion that acted as a seat, a small table with a few important items on it, and a lamp that was off at the moment. You had sat yourself down on the cushion next to his bed where he was currently sitting. “I don’t feel uncomfortable at all with you being here. In fact… if I may say so.. But I really enjoy your company.” He smiled at you, making your heart stop in its tracks. 

“R-really? I also enjoy your company. I love learning from you and your experiments. And even when we’re just talking about life and things that bother us.. Sorry I’m rambling.” You muttered. You felt your face get even hotter in embarrassment. He had turned away and you werent sure if you were seeing things but it almost looked like he was blushing as well. There were a few moments of silence before he had said, “I do find the time we spend together refreshing. Especially since I keep to myself most of the time. That’s why having you here is.. a new experience.”

You had looked up and over at him. He was staring at you with a gaze you couldn’t decipher. You felt the air get knocked out of your lungs. You had taken a moment before repeating back, “A new experience?”. He had looked away, looking slightly embarrassed. “I’ve never really spent too much time with a companion, if that makes sense. Not until you came along.” He chuckled in that nervous way he only did when he felt awkward. He looked back over to you with a hint of sadness in his face. “I feel…guilty that I made you wait outside for so long in those conditions. If i knew you were planning on coming here today…” He looked away, anxiety filling his voice. “I… I should have warned you earlier that I would have been gone this long.”

You shook your head and immediately grabbed his hands. “This is not your fault. I didn’t warn you ahead of time that I was coming. I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn’t want to bother you so I hadn’t planned on staying long. I should have stopped and asked Mona or even payed more attention to the weather conditions up here. My plan was to stop by, drop off your food and return back to Mondstadt so I didn’t take up too much of your time.” You explained to him. You didn’t want him to feel guilty for YOUR mistake.

You were the worry-wart who had panicked when you hadn’t heard from him in two weeks. It was the longest he had gone without communicating back down to the workshop. Sucrose had indeed told you not to worry but he was your friend and you wanted to check in on him. You probably wouldn’t have come if you had known he was returning in three days time. You didn’t regret it because you always enjoyed his company. However, you felt bad for impeding on him and now forcing him to host you because of your ignorance and impatience.

He squeezed your hand to grab your attention. He smiled softly at you when you had finally looked over at him. “It would not have bothered me if you had decided to stay intentionally. I am quite fond of your company. It was a nice surprise to see you traveled all the way here just for me.” He explained, that faint blush crossing over his cheeks. You hadn’t imagined it but it was still hard to tell with the light dimming from the storm. The torches outside would soon go out with the force of the cold winds about to stir across the mountains. 

“I’ll stay with you until the storm passes. The last thing I want to do is worry you. I’ll get out of your hair at the first sight of the storm lifting.” You nodded and he had smiled back at you. The wind howled and lashed at the tent. Within twenty minutes since you had gotten there, the storm had started to rage over the cavern. The closest torch to the tent had gone out, making it dark inside of the tent. There was a faint glow coming from the torch closer to his work table outside. You hadn’t even noticed that the two of you were still holding onto one another’s hands until he had tugged you a bit closer to him.

A little yelp had escaped your lips in surprise. You had looked over at him, your own blush returning to your cheeks at the close proximity. He had stared at you and examined your face for a few moments before lowering his gaze to your lips. “You know, I was just thinking. As much as I enjoy your company, I’m not all that happy we have to stay in here until the storm passes.. It’s more enjoyable when I can see your face.” He started suddenly. Your head was spinning in confusion. What on earth was he going on about? “Is it possible… for me to… maybe… look at you a bit closer?” He asked, leaning towards you slightly. Your face had burst into full color with his request. You felt his hand in yours and your heartbeat had quickly fastened itself to mockspeed. You weren’t sure if you heard him correctly, but he was staring at you with an intensity that you knew you would have to answer. “You.. you’re more than welcome to.. Look closer if you so wish..” You answered, feeling your heart beating against the wall of your chest. 

You weren’t sure what was happening. However, he had pulled you onto his bed to sit next to him. He had wrapped his arms around your shoulders in an attempt to keep your shivering form warm. “You know.. You’re rather attractive.” He had started, making you snap your head in his direction, seeing the smile spread across his lips. You felt yourself trapped in his eyes, looking back and forth from his eyes and his lips. You couldnt think straight with him so close to you.

You and Albedo had talked about everything from science to the little things that Kaeya did that irritated the both of you. You knew of his background, you knew him to the depths of his core. He knew things about you that you hadn’t told anyone. He had never once made a comment on your appearance. Let alone one that was in your favor. You couldnt think of anything to say. You were stunned silent. He had caressed your cheek with his hand as he continued, “You’re also very pretty… and lovely. Your personality is also very charming.”

He slew of compliments had your head spinning. What had gotten into him? This wasn’t his usual shy and laid back demeneor. Your cheeks must have been the same color of an apple at this point. Your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest. You were waiting for him to say he was joking and to chrush every single one of your feelings for him into the ground. He had gripped your chin lightly between his thumb and pointer finger to gently lift your head to look at him. His eyes flickered from your own eyes down to your lips. He had licked them anxiously after doing so. 

His breathing was ragged and fast. You couldnt tell what was going on with him but you secretly didn’t want it to stop. “Do you think… do you think I could…” He started, stuttering and stumbling over his words. His face was also tinged red with every word that escaped his lips. “Do you think I could try and have my first kiss with you?” He finally finished out his sentence. It felt like he had just punched you in the gut. You felt the air leave your lungs and you stared at him in confusion but also in excitement. “I… I think i like you.. I’m not entirely sure what I’m feeling, but I have never felt this way about anyone before…” He admitted. 

You stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to say he was just kidding or something hurtful. It wasn’t his usual character, he was never one to play pranks on people. Yet, you couldn’t figure out what had brought this out of him all of a sudden. The two of you had plenty of opportunities like this over the past year you had gotten to know him. Stolen glances and shy smiles that turned into constant conversation. Nowhere along the way had you noticed the boy you had been harboring feelings for had been harboring feelings for you right back. You felt like this was a dream you didn’t want to wake from.

“You… you want to kiss.. me?” You managed to stutter out after realizing you hadn’t said anything back to him. He had nodded and looked away with that blush still spread across his face. “Y-yes... I do. I... I am not sure if this is a feeling that you share... but... you mean... everything to me, Y/N. You are the one person who I can trust and truly care for. When I'm with you... everything just... makes sense.” He stammered out, unable to look back at you from his embarrassment.

You had noticed the way he had been speaking extremely nervously, the only time you’ve heard him be this unsure or nervous around you. You felt your chest tighten with the anxiety of speaking your feelings out loud. If Albedo wasn’t serious, this would change the entire course of your friendship together. You just couldn’t pass on the opportunity to get everything out in the open. You had squeezed his hand to make him look over to you.

“I.. I've.. I've had feelings for you for a while.. but as your assistant I never thought we'd be together..” You finally admitted. You had closed your eyes for a moment to catch you breath and were met with his lips meeting yours briefly. You had let out a squeak in surprise and when he had pulled away, you had opened your eyes to meet his stunning teal eyes. It was like you were seeing him for the first time again. There was longing and adoration in those eyes of his now and you leaned into the gentle touch of his hand caressing your cheek. “I... have always had feelings for you, Y/N. Even if you were my assistant, I have never looked down on you or considered you any less than an equal. I… I know that we are both... somewhat inexperienced in matters of romance, but it's something that I... I really want with you for some reason... something that I have never wanted to pursue with anyone else before.” He admitted, pulling your hand with his free hand to his lips. He gently brushed his lips against the back of your hand and you felt your whole body light on fire. You could swear there were drums in your ears from how hard your heart was pounding. 

Albedo wanted you.  

Your eyes darted from his astonishing teal eyes to his lips and you wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. He was staring intently at you and your motions. You met his intense gaze and nodded your head. That was enough for him to crash his lips onto yours once again. This time, you reciprocated the kiss. Fervently kissing his back with the same passion and same intensity. The two of you kissed passionately for what felt like eternity. You were the first to pull away, panting at the interaction. You felt like you couldnt get enough oxygen. Your head was spinning trying to grasp that had actually happened. You placed your forehead against his gently, smiling as you tried to catch your breath. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.” You had both said at the same time, making you both chuckle out. You had lovingly caressed his cheek as he had stared at you with such passion and intensity. “Our connection has always been so.. easy..” You continued. During the passionate kiss, you had somehow ended up straddling his lap. You don’t remember how you got there, but in the heat of the moment the two of you must have tangled up like this. You didnt mind being this close to him now that both of your feelings were out in the air. 

“Your warmth… I want to feel more of it.” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist. He had placed kisses to your forehead, your temple, your lips and your jaw. “Your embrace... I crave for it. Your touch... I need to feel it. Your love…” he trailed off, kissing down your neck eliciting a soft moan from your lips. “...I want to possess it.” He said before attacking your neck more passionately with his hands moving down to your waist. Little mewls and gasps escaped your lips at the sudden attention to your neck. 

“You are all I have ever wanted and more, Albedo.” You whispered before catching his lips with your own, running your hands through his hair. The breath caught in his throat, his breathing heavy and he continued to kiss you more intensely. He broke the kiss to caress your cheek, his eyes gleaming with passion “You… are the most.. The most..” he started to say before encapturing your lips with his again. He couldnt keep his hands or lips off of you. 

He deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip begging for access. You obeyed quickly and felt his tongue slowly swipe against your own. You felt your body light on fire, you felt like every touch was incinerating you. He parted from the kiss to once again press tender kisses to your neck, trailing up to your ear. “I… I love you.” He whispered, making you freeze instantly. You had pulled away from him momentarily to look at him in the eyes. You waited for him to say something but his embarrassment was apparent.

He had meant that. You stared at him intensely for a few moments before you were able to gather the courage to ask, “You love me?”. You felt him stiffen at the words but you saw how his face turned a deeper red. He was looking down at you with a shy look on his face. “ I... I feel a sense of love for you. Do I truly love you? I'm not sure... but... these feelings…” he trailed off, brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear. “ ...are something that I have never experienced with anyone else. I've never felt this way before with anyone else, and... I think I want more.” He continued, once again gently grabbing one of your hands to interlace your fingers together. 

He had avoided your gaze, and you could tell the tension was thick in the air. He was worried he crossed a line and you had lifted his head to meet your gaze. “I have loved you from the moment we met. I fell harder for you when you would come to me excited about a new breakthrough you found. I think I have always loved you, Albedo.” 

His eyes turned from shy to passionate within a moments time. He still was caressing your cheek, the adoration pouring from his actions. “I... I love you more than words can express. You are the only one... who knows me... and yet doesn't judge me. You are the only one... who does not run away in fear when I show the truth of my form. Thank you... for being my first love... my assistant... my everything.” He mumbled, kissing you inbetween sentences and running his hand through your hair. 

It almost felt overwhelming. This was not how you expecting this visit to turn out. It felt like your wildest fantasies were playing out right in front of you. You’d pinch yourself but you were afraid that you’d wake up from this blissful event unfolding in front of your eyes. “No.. thank you for allowing me to become your assistant.. for letting me into your very secluded world.” You paused to press a soft kiss to his lips. “You are no monster, you are the most wonderful alchemist I have ever met. laces her fingers into one of his hands you gave me purpose.. so thank you for loving me.” You admitted, tears streaming down your face. Albedo wiped them away from your cheeks with tender love.

You two spent a moment just holding each other in both each others arms and in each other’s gazes. You flicked your eyes to his neck that was out on display and latched your lips onto it. Making your way slowly up his neck like he had done to you. A small whimper left his lips as you continued your onslaught to his skin. He tried to mumble out a few words but was too intoxicated from the affections. It wasn’t until you had pulled away to notice some marks left on his neck that left you smiling in satisfaction. 

His eyes were dark with desire and you felt yourself squirm with his gaze. He once again captured your lips with his, kissing you fervently. In between kisses he managed to get out, “I cannot.. express my love for you in words..”. He had broke the kiss completely and hovered over a spot on your neck before saying, “Let me show you with my actions.”

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

4 the fic ask thing if u want to share info on any or all of them I would clap and cheer

fuck yeah

emunene little mermaid au: ive talked about this like once, but it's basically what it sounds like. emu is a princess; nene is a mermaid

plot stuff, emu goes on a ship, emu is saved by nene when her ship goes down, and she's very !!!! when she realizes that nene is the one with the singing voice she'd been hearing right after her grandpa died. unfortunately she is half delirious when she's saved and doesn't remember how nene looks. emu vows to look for the beautiful lady with the beautiful voice....

ruinene and emukasa would be the platonic pairings in the fic. i considered having tsukasa be emu's fiance? if only to parallel the original story. nene won't stab tsukasa. probably. but she does find him deeply annoying at first. he and emu might be close enough to consider a marriage of convenience...still havent figured that part out yet. nene gets less annoyed by tsukasa when she sees why he's emu's friend

rui is the sea witch, and he helps nene become temporarily human.

i dont have any of it fleshed out but i want to do something with the idea so bad. emu dragging nene to see the sights of the human world and to socialize.......nene being emu's company for longer than either knew. nene realizing the value of her voice when it's gone....she thought being silent wouldn't be any different from normal, but emu made her want to talk, and to sing, to yell and laugh. she wants to have an our happy ending moment with emu but she can't

rui angst fic/TtSaB/Working Title: "When faced with the unthinkable, Rui struggles to navigate old feelings and new fears. Fortunately, he has his friends by his side... it's just a matter of letting them in."

this is a fic ive been chipping at had since curtain call came to en LMAO. i asked 'hey can i have curtain call rui please please please ill write and post that fic idea i have' and rui came home in a single pull. so im legally bound to write and post it eventually. here's some of the scenes ive done

actual dogshit writing lmao. but yeah this fic is more serious than any of my other prsk ideas. i wanted rui to have at least one important scene with each wxs member, because their friendship is at the core of this. also wanted to include the vocaloids bc it's not project sekai without them....even if the idea of talking about your personal problems to hatsune miku is. well.

the plot and title is under wraps for the time being, but here's my notes on how i want to characterize rui

the fic should be 8 chapters. It's teetering between a Teen Rating and a Mature Rating, but I should probably write the rest before deciding anything...

other:

whenever im bored, i format unwritten fic ideas into stories on ao3. ive written absolutely almost nothing for either of these, but it's nice to imagine i have lmao

But I'm Still Here: Saki goes invisible, and everyone around her proceeds to freak out as they search for the 'missing' girl. includes tsukasa ping ponging between 'we'll find her, we have to' and 'it's so fucking over', leo/need trkes and failing not to fall into depression, and saki feeling guilty that Everyone's lives are put on hold for her. the original idea was set before they debut, but maybe it should be after (so toya would have surpassed rad weekend already lmao).

everyone who adores saki makes themselves sick with worry. especially since it lasts about a week. tsukasa has not been that anxious in his fucking life. he's coping...fine. he's doesn't throw himself down while wailing at least. and he doesnt vomit from stress (preventing both takes a lot of self control). leo/need try to be strong for each other, but they are all sad shivering dogs. shiho wants to punch to be useful but knows she can't do anything. ichika tries to stay hopeful, like saki would want. honami tries to be their calm leader...but theyre like, 16/17, so theyre all just anxious.

Phthonus: Rui is envious and sad the fic, rip bozo. it'd be an introspective fic. i'd want rui to subconsciously compare and contrast himself and bakuno, and come to the realization that tsukasa (romantically) likes the parts of bakuno that rui doesn't have (bakuno's timidness, his lack of confidence, his acting, his ability to not annoy tsukasa lmao). but he also has traits that rui does have (his passion for theatre, obsession with writing stories, talent above his age range, the ability to bounce ideas off of tsukasa)

tsukasa still loves rui, but he never saw him in a romantic light. if he ever did, then it's too late....tsukasa set his eyes on bakuno and went "i can fix him". and unfortunately, tsukasa isn't polyamorous. rui deals with the heartache every time he sees tsukasa, even though it hurts him. he loves him too much to ever look away

uhh other stuff without titles-

bakuno/tsukasa fic, maybe a kotaro/akito fic. they would be in a series about the npcs waxing poetic about the ocs. throw in some pairings like miyake & rui, otori siblings & emu, yukki and mizuki, nagi and an....but the first fic would be bakukasa because i like them a lot lmao

Another rui is jealous fic, but it ends in rks- bakuno and tsukasa sign up to be gay lovers in a short film and rui's clenches his teeth and tries not to mope over it. (he is the one that asked them to do it) he does not know why and thinks there's something wrong with the film/acting rather than himself. he's stupid. meanwhile tsukasa is slowly realizing he likes men bc of gay research he did... and while he thinks bakuno is cute, he's immediately hit in the face that he likes rui a Lot.

saki in mogami land fic- saki gets isekaid in a hell world where everyone hates her/doesn't know her. i cant decide yet. maybe both. tsukasa and her parents say mean shit to her, ichika avoids her, her favorite idol doesn't even know who she is. the ending is her going back to her normal world, where she proceeds to be crushed by tsukasa and her parents (she went missing for a week. tsukasa cries the hardest at her reappearance... though her parents aren't too far behind) this is another "i want to show saki how loved she is by taking it away from her" fic

ruikasa are fucking dumb fic - tsukasa confesses to rui, they get together, and then things go down hill because neither know how to act in a new relationship. tsukasa wants to be a good boyfriend, so he treats rui differently (in a way that bothers rui). he's probably sweet and nice and doting, which rui like, but it feels more like a role tsukasa wants to perfect. rui wants tsukasa to be himself. at the same time, rui also wants to be a good boyfriend, but becomes aware that he has no idea how to do that...so instead he subconsciously tests their relationship, wondering just how far he could push tsukasa to get him to go back to "normal". the conclusion is that theyre stupid and just needed to adjust and realize nothing changed

future wxs meets present wxs - there r so many ideas i have for this it'd fucking ridiculous. the most prominent one is future rks meeting present wxs. another one is 3rd anni tsukasa meeting pre wonder magical showtime tsukasa

wxs takes care of child wxs - due to sekai bs, there are teenage wxs and child wxs. they all take turns and interact with the kids...tsukasa and baby rui & nene and baby rui would be cute i think. my ideas are

1) baby rui getting sad that tsukasa said his ideas are too dangerous (he's literally five and wants to jump from a high place). tsukasa feels guilty about his sad little face and offers to do it for rui. cue rui's excitement that an adult wants to try his idea

2) baby rui looks at grown nene like a proud parent and says 'i'm so proud of you nene' and nene goes 'you're literally five. also youve told me that before.' she still says thank you though, bc it's cute and she's fond

child/middle school wxs meets emu's grandpa - rakunosuke shows up during difficult times in tsukasa/rui/nene's lives and helps them smile. none of them remember him, but during that moment, he's a bright light. maybe some emu/rakunosuke parallels?

kamiyama group during mizuki5 - i made a post abt this already, but a silly fun fic to what fun everyone had at the festival. nobody knows mizuki is suffering. very bittersweet

saki helps tsukasa get ready for a date with rui - saki gives tsukasa questionable dating advice and tsukasa ends up botching date with rui (rui doesnt care). includes tsukasa trying to be a gentleman, saki getting love advice from manga and magazines, and rui having a good time watching tsukasa fumble be a gentleman

arcland rui - canon rui wakes up in universe where he joined arcland and asahi. it shows an alternative path rui could have taken, and how that path would have been every bit as valid as keeping wxs together

...unfortunately, rui isn't happy with this because wxs disbanded and he doesn't talk to them as often. he doesn't even go to school with them anymore. (also he has a situationship thing with asahi And tsukasa but he doesn't notice either of them lmao)

i probably have others but these are the ones that come to mind first...hope this is all okay!

[ficyorick]

i havent done this in a while !!!!! *puts a hand into the deleted scenes file, rummages around*

this is a very short bit buuut originally i was going to have kessler fuck around with billys memories about ryan as well, to make sure he was going to finish the job and kill him too. and i wanted homelander and butcher to have a little confrontation about it but i couldn't find a Good place for it... and then i realized he wouldn't have enough motivation to protect ryan at the end of ch8 ... and and it might've cheapened the Hughie Reveal

also i believe homelander adopted a strict strategy of not bringing up ryan ever to butcher, just in case he doesn't suddenly remember he's supposed to be hunting him instead of doing all sorts of weird shit to homelander. so in the end i said SNIP THIS SHIT!!!! ✂️✂️✂️✂️

"Butcher. William." Homelander started, very cautiously. "You spent… almost a year hanging out with Ryan. After… you know. Becca." He winced uncomfortably.  "Don't say her name. Don't fuckin' say her name." Billy couldn't look at him, he wished he didn't have to listen to him either. He stepped closer toward the couch and the cunt raised his arms defensively, trying to stop his advance. "Okay. Okay!" Homelander listened immediately, pacifying him, even dropping his gaze to the floor. Anything to keep Butcher away from him right now: "But I'm not fucking lying to you. I wish I were! All you needed was a year with him and he's been talking about you ever since—!"  Billy stopped his heavy steps towards the thing on his couch. He was silent. And then, he admitted hoarsely:  "I don't—I don't remember."  What he remembered of Ryan was this: Becca loved him. He was Becca's boy. He promised to protect him. He killed Becca, and it was sad, because it wasn't his fault, really. It was his blood's fault, going all the way back to the Soldier Boy. Then Ryan had to be kept away from Vought. That didn't work and now they were here.  He didn't remember a shared year, let alone a week. "I visited him when he was still living with that CIA crone—" Homelander seemed to think that it was his words that were keeping him in place, so he continued explaining.  "Mallory? Ryan fucking killed Mallory." That, he remembered. Homelander blinked, slowly looking up and sounding genuinely confused. "Oookay, that's news to me. Are you … sure?" "Yes! Yes, I was fuckin' there!"

[hypogryffin]

genuinely curious by what you mean by "jewish (factual)" in your tier list. i can assume for a couple what you mean (sophia as an example) but i dont see how the others could be like jewish-coded! interested in hearing your thoughts

link to the first post for claritys sake, but this is the tier in question:

ok so for clarification: i made the tier list a little while ago and then scheduled it for later to keep uploads consistent, something i usually do all the time but am not for this discussion for now. this means that by the day the tier list posted, i was already a few weeks or so divorced from the actual creation of it, so some of my opinions have changed (as i said in the og post, i was unsure on a good portion of the characters even when i first queued the list), and some of my reasonings behind placements have been lost to time and my silly little goldfish memory.

bc of this, as of now as im trying to find a distinct line between "jewish (factual)" and "jewish (based on vibes)", the criteria for "factual" is sort of murky. some placements in the category were serious, but a lot of them were also entirely for joking reasons, and i had moved on as soon as i was done laughing to myself without coming back to it.

all this is to say, i have no idea how to summarise it, so im going to explain everything i can remember about my thought process at the time so you can see where i was coming from.

SOPHIA:

yup 👍.

ok so for the uninformed, sophia is the name of a gnostic figure and the specifics change depending on the context of which ur referring to her in, but in judaism specifically sophia was given as a translated name for chokmah which is like a being thats like really important in kabbalah and considered like. this sort of i guess personification of divine wisdom?

anyways this is a concept that i doubt im anywhere near the first person to bring up, so im not gonna spend a lot of time on it like i will the things i havent heard other people talk about. like the whole "good friend of humanity" thing! judaism puts a lot of emphasis on kindness and care for other people and i think its important that thats so big for her character and for how jewish she can be read as. she is also jewish because i like her :^).

TATSUYA:

suffers endlessly because g-d hates *him*, specifically, and he hates g-d right back. jewish.

that was a joke. ok so right out the gate i think the whole "fighting hitler" aspect of IS should count for something during the discussion of which characters are jewish. like just putting that out there. anyways tatsuya is jewish because of eternal punishment. specifically, you know how hes like super into "atonement" and repentance? bro would really have benefited from going to a high holidays service lemme tell you. and he does it in a specific way thats like. his atonement is actively trying to repair what hes fixed right like hes not doing what hes doing to be redeemed, hes doing it because its his responsibility to fix whats been broken. i just idk how to explain it properly but thats a thought process your rabbi talks you through in jew school yknow?

also theres this thing called tikkun olam, which literally translates as "repairing the world". so it means more like. doing ur best as a citizen to improve community and country, or general social work. but just considering it as taking the literal translation, then its just like... yep. that sure is what hes doing isnt it

also, killed hitler. hashtag work

KATSUYA:

placed here mostly because being tatsuyas brother, theyd probably be at a similar "level" of religiosity. however there are some unique things i want to point out here;

katsuya like embodies the idea of "tzedek tzedek tirdof" like. its unfortunate hes a cop but for a cop hes a pretty good person? hes pretty uncompromising on right and wrong, and in a way that totally lines up w tzedek tzedek tirdof as its described in the torah.

extra emphasis on his compassion, as in theres like that core facet of judaism, the tikkun olam, where people have a moral obligation to help others; not just do good as oneself, but also stop other people from doing bad. that last bit doesnt really matter, cuz im bringing it up so i can talk about katsuya as a police officer to clear his dads name and try and ensure a better future for his brother. he gave up his dreams for them.

i mean, when i say "giving up his dreams", im kinda laughing to myself bc theres no way he ran it past his parents bc if he looked his jewish mother in the eye and said "i want to be a pastry chef" he would not make it out of the room alive. hed go "my dream is to become a pâtissier" and his mom would immediately be like "no its not its to be an accountant" and that would be the end of the discussion

also, i think he would make some of the best fucking challah in the world. hed make matzo ball soup that could make you jizz your pants just looking at it. look me in the eyes and tell me that he doesnt actually go nuts at rosh hashana when he gets to make the round challah with the raisins in it and stuff or whatever else. there is such a crystal clear vision in my mind of him rocking this apron my dad used to have that says "real men make latkes". it was pink and ugly as sin and i think it would be katsuyas most prized possession.

LABRYS:

her name is fucking labrys obviously shes a jewish lesbian. next.

/j i will actually talk about this. like not mentioning the only survivor of her upbringing, which isnt a one to one considering the death match portion of her backstory but still close enough to feel um. relavant to jewish culture. she acts very...stereotypically jewish?

its not entirely the accent, but it is...part of it. so like i know its like a new jersey accent and that the stereotype is new york, i guess? but im not american and i dont rlly know the difference. they look close enough to each other on a map tho so i think it counts

but also shes like kinda confrontational in a way i specifically associate with jewish people or jewish characters? like not really bitchy but argumentative right, shes got this really sarcastic or mocking sense of humour. and girl kvetches with the best of them.

(also, side note: since i made the original list, i found out that the voice actress for aegis in p3 reload, dawn m bennett, is actually jewish! if i were to remake the tier list, aegis would be moved up from "vibes" to "factual" because of this. mentioning that here because of the sister thing :).)

JOKER:

kills g-d which is the jewish dream. this is a another joke.

someone in the replies of the tier list said something abt a possible reason being that he has an "abrahamic figure" as his ult. persona, which could be a good point if satanael was actually an abrahamic figure! but it is not. like ok im not a history guy but satanael is a name used in the 2nd book of enoch, which arguably could be part of jewish "canon" (i know this is actually the term for it but fandom has rotted my brain and it sounds terminally online to use it in terms of real life religiosity) but most rabbis agree it like is not, and theyre kind of who im listening to on this, and quick google search says even in christianity, enoch is debatable? idk

so like satanael isnt in the torah. and if anyone says "oh its just like another name for satan so technically--" shut up i know. satan isnt real in the torah either. ok like "satan" is used as a term, but not as like the specific dude that like rules hell. hes just like at most a specific dude who is not a devil/cast from heaven or whatever, but instead is a lawyer. more often its a concept, something representative of like the urge to go against g-ds will or a kosher life, this "evil inclination" which everyone is born possessing and grapples with when trying to be a good person. NOT THE SAME AS THE CHRISTIAN SATAN. WHICH IS WHAT P5 WAS GOING FOR. SATAN IN JUDAISM IS NOT A "super demon lord" or whatever they call it in the text of the game

satanael isnt an abrahamic figure and i dont think satan is either cuz its so different between religions and honestly i think calling things abrahamic religions, at least w the context i hear of it, is like kind of a misnomer or just kind of generally misleading cuz judaism christianity and islam are all so different and if were talking about this i think whoever invented the term judeochristian should eat a sheet of glass for it because whenever i hear those terms its very clear the person saying it means just christianity but theyre trying to be inclusive without actually putting the work in and thats not the point of this.

ok if im honest, as i think abt it joker isnt like. really... super jewish, in a way that you can point out? its just like... this overall vibe im having trouble explaining which is probably also like super influenced by how much i like him. i want to say that this strict sense of right and wrong that remains uninfluenced by the rest of society is something that clearly creates or maybe just intensifies this like. empathy for other people that reminds me of this concept in judaism which i cant remember the hebrew name of rn but i think its most commonly translated to english as "lovingkindness", one word? or that the whole idea of the phantom thieves can be contributed to tikkun olam. but, on the other hand, even if lovingkindness is what i personally consider one of jokers core character traits, the other one is pure, blinding rage.

im not going to go super into it, because im a few years rusty of torah study bc its only really consistently done in my community for kids preparing for bnai mitzvah cuz of how few people we have in our congregation. but from what i remember, my interpretation of the exact limit between righteous and sinful anger is a bit more... lax than the average jew's, or at least the average rabbi's, meaning mine, lol. either way anger is almost always seen as sinful because its an emotion that can like. turn you from g-d, its the same thing that invokes that "evil inclination" we just talked abt. so, joker textually feels this rage that arsene, his other self, literally refers to as "sacrilegious", something that very clearly states that he is willing to *knowingly* commit sins for this rage and is perfectly capable of causing undue harm to others for it, which is exactly the reason why judaism warns of anger. this means jokers anger is distinctly against jewish teachings.

again, im really lax, my familys reform (/lh) and i think there are some parts of this characterisation that make me feel this rage is overall constructive, especially considering that is what feeds his constant practice of lovingkindness and tikkun olam, but it being such a huge facet of his personality (made worse bc as a silent protagonist, you really have to search to get away from this trait) brings him down on the Jew Scale(tm).

in short, now that im really discussing this id probably move him to incredibly jewish based on vibes or even to just "jewish" no further classification. but even w the undying sinful anger thing i cant not think of him as jewish and i dont think its just bc hes one of my favourite characters of all time.

also that hair texture looking really familiar is all🤔🤔. all im saying that is in the tutorial, instead of "frizzy hair", morgana deffo should have been calling them blondie and jewfro /j /j /j

EDIT AND JOKERS KITCHEN!! JOKERS KITCHEN!! FOOD AS A LOVE LANGUAGE!! IN P5 YOU MAKE FOOD FOR YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU PUT LOVE INTO IT

MORGANA:

i know i put morgana before joker in the tier but i think in order to rlly discuss morgana we needed joker first bc part of my reason for putting them in the same tier is because they really are a pair, do not separate.

anyways, morgana does have a lot of the same problems as joker when it comes to being difficult to pin down. his inclination to tikkun olam is similar, sort of even greater than jokers depending on personal characterisation of joker, but instead of this discrepancy of his jewishness being anger, the ethical conundrum with morgana is sort of. arrogance? like, i have trouble figuring out how to really put into words how i feel abt morganas "lovingkindness", because it is so hard to understand where hes at in terms of empathy?? like. fucking. idk hes definitely a very caring person but its not exactly like

ok i cant figure out how to say it moving on. i used the word arrogance even though i dont really think thats right, because morgana has never seemed haughty. his "arrogance" is really just him making up for an inferiority complex caused by the amnesia thing, its not as if he genuinely totally believes himself to be above the others. but like no matter what it stems from, the way he behaves and his personal pride hurts people. ie the okumura arc, or his entire relationship w ryuuji. he speaks ill of others, belittles them to bring himself up, etc. arrogance and excess pride is as condemned as anger in judaism if not moreso, since its even less useful/constructive to be "arrogant" than it is to be angry. OH ok so what i meant with the hard to figure out his empathy thing is this actually!! hes very caring and has a really notable respect for human life but its always at war with his need to prove himself, so even if when you think about it its like Oh Morgana Is A Really Caring Person, which makes sense because he was created from human desire and as such is really in touch with what people need, the desperation he has to be seen as "worthy" comes off as wanting to be seen as "above", even if it means trying to get the people around him as being considered "below" him.

tldr so if it was just those two traits i think id have to move morgana lower on the list, alongside joker.

HOWEVER. speaking directly to the other jews in the crowd, but morgana is totally textually a golem, right? like not exactly, obviously, but think about it. morganas a being of the velvet room because he was created from "the dregs of human hope" (canonical line from yaldaboath that i think about more than what can be considered healthy tbh), whose job is was and always will be to protect and guide the trickster and his community, the phantom thieves. hes a golem right? am i insane? am i seeing things? i dont care, im not giving up on this interpretation, so morgana is factually and canonically jewish cuz of it.

ZEN:

i do not remember.

as of today id probably move him to either jewish no other classification or not jewish. my b guys. anyways

JUN:

life is indescribable torment, and then hes also got additional, mostly unrelated, mommy issues. judaism 101.

also his suspenders when he was a kid are the most young jewish lad shit in the history of ever like i have seen that exact outfit on a young boy every time i go to temple, and each time it is a different kid

ok more seriously, i really do think juns story-- specifically his relationship with memory-- can easily be extracted into a jewish narrative. like nyarlathotep messed with his memories and convinced him that the other members of the masked circle killed maya right. and so the way he fanatically reminded himself of the past was a mix of trauma and active manipulation. but if i think abt it a certain way i also can see it as like. ok so in judaism memory is really important and like a lot of the time during for example passover, youre meant to refer to yourself as being a jew in egypt, saying "we" instead of "them" and such. but im specifically meaning how important memory/remembrance is in grieving. jun in his grief for mayas perceived death "kept her alive" in a way. she was never forgotten, and so she never died. even though the entire masked circle forgot, from trauma or fear or guilt or whatever, jun held on, remembering her, and so she survived. joker took peoples dreams but his actions also caused them to be completely be forgotten. they were alive, but they were robbed of their ability to be remembered at all, and so they were as good as dead even still breathing and talking.

retroactively, this idea enforces tatsuyas jewishness, considering the entire story of eternal punishment. he refused to forget the masked circle, even though it hurts.

anyways back to jun, i also think the whole repentance thing is important too. he hurt people in his anger and sorrow and spends the rest of his life (until the world is reset at least lol) atoning for his wrongdoings.

also, i know i said kid him is super jewish looking, but he has not gotten better as hes grown up. 17y.o him is exactly the guy your bubbe will pull up on facebook and be like "this is the grandson of my friend or whoever! you should go on a date with him, hes your age! he looks a bit gay but hes a very successful doctor! ...and hes JEWISH YAKNOW...." and ur like "ok bubbe"

ERIKO:

i actually do not recall exactly why she is in this tier specifically. the only thing i for sure remember was that i at least partially placed her here bc of her fascination with the occult.

HIKARI:

ok this one was kinda me goofing. its the whole extended family thing like whats more jewish than being actively discouraged from a creative career for something "safe" and "normal?" bro the aunt might as well have dropped the "being a doctor is very respectable" line in the song.

but like even without that, wanting to be a director or associated with film? hitting her with the jew beam. mazel tov babygirl.

[lemon-wedges]

Just wanted to ask (and feel free to not answer), but how do you draw so much so quickly? I'm always impressed by how fast you doodle or paint. Also, wanted to say that I appreciate your Barok and DGS art as a whole.

and with this ask i have finally reached an artist milestone 😭

Well theres a short answer and a REALLY long answer (which ill put under cut when i get there).

short answer: practice + refs

which.....can be an annoying thing to hear. And as someone who studies art and has bought a LOT of online courses trying to figure out how industry people can just churn out work like nothing. it feels like a let down every time i find out their big secret. just practice and photo refs. Every. Single. Time.

LONG ANSWER:

its how you studying your refs. heres how i do mine

sorry if this is rambly. but ill try my best to at least be clear. BUT THIS is the EXACT way i taught myself how to be quicker.

I do not know if youve taken any art classes but essentially one of the ways to study gesture drawing is by first tracing ur photo ref to get a sense of the flow/proportions of the body. youve probably seen a billion of these tutorials floating around:

So last year around hmmmm june/july? i was NOT looking to get better at my anatomy or gesture. i was actually trying to get better at clothes. but my problem was it took me so long to draw out a figure (which i was fine with cause i liked how my people looked at the time) that i could never really just focus clothing part.

So i told myself look. ur not looking to draw in this style like this forever. so for now SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY!!!! I WANT THE BAREBONES OF A HUMAN HERE TO MAKE A MANIQUIEN FOR CLOTHES OK

but how do i do that....

Im gonna use this piece as an example from my rise and yosuke fashion palooza month. FIRST u see i got all my photo refs together. i like those poses on the right and i want to switch out the clothes for the other ones i picked out. i trace out my poses. kind of like the tutorial up top but since this is about draping i was focused the exact places their waist/arms/legs/etc would bend.

and like the tutorial u turn off the photo ref and do a drawing based off that traced piece.

then i would turn on my refs and add on my clothes

And after a month of just doing that over and over and over. i was surprised to find that figures and poses were so much easier to understand when i would break them down like this. and once u get familiar with them the faster and more confidently you'll draw them.

I and still do this btw. heres my otasune from the last week

i used photo refs for all my sketches. if i cant find anything online to match what i want i just take photos of myself. and some might say well arent u just relying on reference TOO much?

AND AGAIN take it from someone who has spend a lot of money buying classes from their fav artists in the industry. The Secret of how they churn out so much cool work so fast always turns out to be this. practice and photo refs.

Every. Single. Time.(tho this is omitting a lot. im not getting into like they way they stylize their art work. that actually the fastest and funnest thing to do once u have ur base down)

Now PAINTING

The thing is, i dont actually post up all my work on this blog. So theres a ton of stuff you havent seen me do. These are some paintings i did 2 years ago for a class.

I already know how to pick my values and set up lighting. When you see me painting my figures now. i am not focused on learning these basics im actually just honing a technique.

you might see me post readmores with these kinds of wips. I lay in all my colors and lighting with the lasso tool. ALL THE MAJOR DECSIONS ARE DONE HERE

(the little miniature i add on the side basically tells me what the overall feeling is going to be when i blend in the lineart to be cohesive with my colors) ( also if you had any questions on my prepainting process tho. feel free to ask!!!)

and if you compare this wip to my finished piece youll actually find that i dont stray that far from what i've laid in.

everything happening at THIS stage is about feeling out how i want the textures to blend with one another and getting funky with some brush strokes.

and thats it? im not sure if any of this is helpful but if anything. i hope you come away from this feeling like what ive been doing here is nothing special. "THATS IT???? THATS ALL THERE IS??? well i could have done that :T"

exactly man. you can do ALL OF THIS aND MORE!!! I BELIEVE IN U :D

but ill let this be the last thing i leave u with my friend: my barok sketch and the refs i used for his boobies

[osarina]

hi carina !! havent been in ur inbox for a while, hru :)) i hope ur well >^< !!

i'm mainly here to ask if u have any writing tips/advice bc ur lit one of my fave bsd writers ever i adore all ur works sm and recently i've hated everything im writing ajkrnjekncvej SO IM WONDERING IF U HAVE ANY ADVICE CEJFCNJ (hopefully this isnt strange eabfihri)

you dont hafta answer this is u dont wanna btw !!! have a great day mwah <333

REDDDDDD MY SWEET LOVE BUG i've been doing okay!! work hasn't been as awful as i expected it to be, i rlly got lucky with my boss HAHAH - how are you doing?? you had exams right?? i hope they all went well!! sorry it took me so long to answer this one, but i wanted to actually be able to give u a good response so it had to wait until i had time i fear

IT'S NOT STRANGE, ur so sweet im giving u the softest forehead smooch. i'm sorry to hear you've been feeling that way about your writing though - i get it, trust me i do LOL, i go through days and weeks where i literally am revulsed by every word i put down in a doc. actually, i just went thru it like 2 days ago while writing the first chapter of civilian dazai so it's all fresh in the head LOL

honestly, i think the most important tip i have is really basic but u should never force yourself to write just for the sake of getting something out. like, i've done it before and whenever i do, i'm soooo unhappy with the results that it usually makes me go through a huge writing slump -> this happened with uu6 actually, i was so busy but i was trying to force the chapter out on time that i ended up rewriting it like 3 times because i hated it so much. finally i decided to move on to write some pmzai drabbles to clear my head & then came back to uu6 when i started feeling it again and behold, it came with ease. sometimes when i want to write but none of my wips are doing it for me, i'll literally conjure up a huge list of tropes and just read through it until one pops out to me LOL and then ill work on that

another i think basic piece of advice is reading. whether its fanfics, or novels, or whatever. whenever i have trouble liking what i write, i find something to read. reading is actually how i taught myself to write HAHAH my go tos are fantasy/scifi- tolkein, martin, herbert, rf kuang, i've been meaning to read sanderson but haven't had the time yet. honestly, in general, if i have free time and i'm not writing something, 9/10 i'm reading something.

i think plotting is also really important!! even for like one-shots, sometimes i get so lost in the writing that i lose focus of what the fic was originally supposed to be about and that frustrates me into deleting everything i've written. so something i do is i list out all of the scenes i want to see in a chapter or a one-shot before i start writing it so that i don't lose focus.

dialogue is a huge hurdle for me - sometimes i struggle to figure out whether or not my dialogue is realistic, so LOL sometimes i just sit there and speak it out loud, acting out a conversation with myself to see if it flows properly and then adjust accordingly. sometimes i do it for like descriptions/narration too if i think the narration isn't flowing or is too clunky. reading things out loud is a go-to way for me to figure out what's wrong with my writing.

and then lastly, this is more of a mental thing than anything else, but i've just slowly had to teach myself not to be too hard on myself. like i'll get so mad if something doesn't come out exactly how i envisioned it, and it used to genuinely make me so disappointed that i couldn't bring myself to write for days. so i've just slowly been working myself into a mentality telling myself that it doesn't have to be perfect to be great, yknow. and ten times out ten, you're seeing faults in your writing that no one else will take notice of.

so the whole tldr:

only write what you WANT to write, dont force urself to finish/write something

read when you can, whether its fanfic or novels or whatever u can get ur hands on

plot things out so you don't get lost

read things out loud that aren't making sense

work on not being so hard on yourself

[future-dregs]

Ep. 1 & 2 Bullet Points

I was gonna post my thoughts about the episodes in real time, but then I got caught up in it and didn't do that. So now, I'm summarizing.

------

Sam had houseplants in his windowsill.

Can't decide if Dean was pacing around and making noise to test Sam/give him a heads up and see how he'd react, or if that was just him being a kinda inexperienced kid.

I like that Sam was fighting with his whole body. Like, he brought his feet and legs into it. Comes across more genuine that just punching. (Also his little end of spar pat on Dean's arm? Mwah. Falling back into the rhythms already.)

Sam kept his hand scythe. In the house. Didnt leave it as far behind you claimed baby. Because as Dean said, you know what's out there.

That's two "Sammy"s, an arm across the back of the diner booth and an in unison talking moment in close succession. Dean's playing for keeps.

John fucking Winchester. Freaked out by a vengeful womans spirit for real, or ninth level cat and mousing your kids?

Dean getting thrown and pressed over the hood of the car and his "squeal like a pig" comment are stacking up in my brain. Debating about if I wanna make a sexual abuse post or not.

Also, people have been saying from the day the show aired, but that is the second time Dean carried him out.

I dont want to talk much about Mary right now, theres some episodes in later seasons with her that I havent seen, so I dont feel I have enough contact to say something accurate. But I will say this- she knew better, and she should've done better, cause it ALL comes back to her and what she did and didnt do. She doomed her family, and everyone who touched them.

I think Dean was circling around to try again. In hindsight we know he was hanging out for hours before coming in (and oh how bitter bitter it is to see him young and "careless" like that, and have to amend it knowing how very very frightened he actually was) so I think it stands to reason that Dean would skulk around a little longer afterward as well.

Episode 2!

First off, really like that Sam's dream, though still with that beautiful early season low saturation, has more color, and brighter colors (pink in the bouquet, red candles, ect) than the real world does.

Also very funny to see Dean being the one who wants to open up and talk about feelings, and dealing with loss in a healthy way.

Also Dean offering the car to Sam for comfort because that's how Dean feels in control and comforted is killing me.

"Lookit this friggin bear!" My love my love I'm kissing you on the face.

Y'know you never see those shell necklaces anymore? But they kinda rocked.

Also I'm not gonna get pedantic about them getting the mythos wrong (don't get used to it, I LOVE being pedantic, esp with things I actually know about), so I'm not gonna mention it again, but oh! they got the mythos wrong.

Now. I've mentioned this briefly before, but its intriguing to me that in an episode about a corrupting hunger, we see Sam start down the path of vengeance AND get horny over his brother. He's growing enamored with Dean again, and he's watching him when he interacts with other people, looking for threats. Both physical, and not.

(I have a whole separate post in the works about Sam standing bodily between the victims and the threat, but suffice to say, babydoll I love you and you chosen efforts towards goodness from the bottom of my heart.)

Back to above point. Girl of the week kisses Dean's cheek, Sam comes over, sits on that side of him, and stares at that spot on Dean's cheek until he gives him the keys.

Fly by night away from here/change my life again/fly by night goodbye my dear - they knew how to use their music for effect. Also my introduction to Rush, years ago. Thanks guys.

So I think that about covers the thoughts I thunk while watching. Next time I'll try to at least make active notes if I'm not live blogging through it.

[babeydollx]

4k Followers Celebration | Maybanks-Luver

Celebration is: closed.

4k Followers Masterlist

Wow, I cannot believe that I have made it to 4k followers! Thank you guys so much for supporting me and reading my work, I really appreciate it so much! Y'all mean the world to me and I love you guys so much. So, of course as promised about a month or two ago when I originally hit 4k followers, I said I do a celebration with prompts and now it's finally here. So, I'll only be writing for the people on the characters I write for list right now but, new fandoms are coming really soon so, stay tuned for that too! Now for the prompts, you can only pick two, if there is more than two then I'm only going to use two of the however many prompts there were requested because at the moment I can't put a lot of prompts into one fic. So please, respect the two limit rule but, I am sure you all will 🥰💛

Characters I write for here (its not added yet but I also write for Mike Schmidt, William Afton, Michael Afton, Henry Emily and Vanessa Monroe from FNAF just havent been able to add it yet.)

Request Time: February 11th to February 18th 2024

💛💐 Smut Prompts 💐💛

"Do I look like I'm messing around? Do I look like I won't punish you?"

"That's it princess, take it all."

"Hands behind your back."

"Open your mouth for me, baby."

"You can take it, you've done it before."

"I won't apologize for marking you up. Everyone should know you're mine."

"Keep those pretty eyes open. Look at me, baby."

"Swallow. All of it."

"Come on one more time for me, I know you've got it in you."

"Spread your legs for mommy/daddy, I want to see you."

"Slowly, baby, I'm not going anywhere."

"What makes you think I am going to fuck you?"

"Holy shit, you came pretty quickly."

"Show me how much you missed me."

"Don't think so much, just let your body take control."

"Shall we put that mouth of yours to better use?"

"Looking at you, moaning like a fucking slut for me."

"You know what happens when you misbehave."

"No one's ever touched me like this, fuck."

"Oh, baby, you're drooling everywhere."

"I want it. I want to taste you."

"Again! Please, again!"

"So good for me, look at how much you came."

"You like it that much, hm?"

“You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”

💛💐 Fluff Prompts 💐💛

"You look really good in my clothes."

"You look so adorable, baby."

"I just want to relax in your arms."

"Make a wish!"

"I could just stare at you forever." "Creep."

"You are the most beautiful being on earth."

“What are you doing?” “I was trying to make pancakes but it didn’t exactly work."

“.... Sorry, I talked too much.” “No no no not at all. Keep talking.”

"Get on my shoulders, you'll see better."

"Is that- is that a dog?"

"Let's go and look at the stars."

"Oh my god, you never told me you could cook!"

"I never thought I could miss someone this much."

"You're my new pillow."

"Wow, you are absolutely breathtaking."

"Yeah well, you're short."

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"You're such a jackass." "But I'm your jackass, baby."

"You are the only thing that matters to me."

"I just want to protect you from everything."

"You're going to be such a good mom/dad."

"If you even try to tickle me one more time I swear you will not get a kiss for a week."

"I don't want to forget this moment."

"Here's a concept... me and you married."

"I bought you dinner, baby."

Again, thank you all so much for getting me to 4k followers! I appreciate you all so much!