#i will tho i always do
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honestly thinking i might not make it to the new year
#the parasite talks#i will tho i always do#cuz im a coward who only self harms and doesnt do anything else#i just need to male peace with my mediocre life and actually make it work#dont mind me this is just my insomniac rambles#too tortured by everything i need to do but unnable to get out of bed with my anxiety levels through the roof#a whole year gone to waste everyone is moving forward so i might just kill myself so i dont tie them down
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happy booping! 🐾
#and happy halloween!! 🦇#dick grayson#damian wayne#daminyan#dynamic duo 2.0: what would you do without me?#booping and kneading are v different things but. kneading cute 😔#felt fitting to do beast world art for this year and the return of boops was perfect timing 😭#will return to my vampire Damian roots tho haha i miss him!!#also first time making a gif so not sure if the quality is just always Like That lol
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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'what do u want to draw' 'idk, megumi?'
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk megumi#when in doubt . megumi#almost drew more free i was *this* close to a makoto or makoharu sheet u have no idea the effort it took pls applaud my restraint#regardless tho im having lots of fun w this way of doing hair#fr the longest time the heavy chunked layers were always a look tht i could never get right#but i think ive gotten there finally!! or am getting there#it was easier w haru than with megu but ! still pleased#also idk if i will have time to draw anything else before i leave so i rushed a bit 2 get this up#maybe ill have time fr another sketchy doodle in between packing and prep dgsdfj who knows !! i will try tho
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I love when sdv spouses r like "babe I watered the plants for you 🥺🥺" "I fed all the animals for u 🥺" like awh babe you shouldn't have. Really. its all automatic 🤗🤗 but thanks anyways
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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I've been collecting pottery shards from the fields and woodland since I moved to the countryside a few years ago, I have so many now that I think I'll relocate them to containers, but it's nice to get a proper photo first.
#before this it was seaglass lol#the population of my village is like <200 and most of them are over 70 and don't go out so there aint much on the floor#its slim pickings out here for things from the living#but the dead leave plenty...#I find (animal....) skulls quite often but it's a bunch of effort to clean them but man if I had time#I do have a couple tho!#I also found a couple horseshoes out here which is always exciting
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whos he texting?🤨
#up next on top ten worst type of people you could ever meet……#also thanks for all the sweet asks and stuff it really makes me happy that people enjoy my art 🤗 if theres anything u think would be fun lmk#always open for requests!!!#do not excpect too muxh from me tho…… hopefully i dont disappear for another year like last time 😅😓#just kidding#my art#obey me#omswd#obey me!#levi obey me#omswd leviathan#obey me leviathan#obey me levi fanart#levi om#omswd levi#levi#leviathan
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OBI-WAN KENOBI (2022) Cinematography by Chung-Hoon Chung
@pscentral event 26: minimalism
#swedit#starwarsedit#star wars#kenobiedit#kenobi#kenobi series#kenobi show#obi wan kenobi#darth vader#userlumi#starwarsblr#*mine#*2024#*gifs#[cinematography]#pscentral events#1k#it's been a Hot Minute since I've giffed sw omg I've missed it I've wanted to do a set like this since like 2022 haha#when I think of minimalism this is the sort of shot I think of these are some of my favourite shots#cannot be normal giffing this show there's always a emotional devastation breakdown 😮💨#also peep the new watermark I should have changed it ages ago lol there's still a pre-made set with the old one tho rip
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I'm pretty sure this would be Godzilla's reaction if he saw Baby Kong.
Also, I really gotta get used to his new design....
If you know the reference, you have my utmost respect
#godzilla#kong#godzilla x kong: the new empire#baby kong#it's always sunny in philadelphia#meme#godzilla's new design....#i seriously need to get used to it#idk if I like or not tbh#but it looks cool tho#so guess i'll like it#also baby kong is so random#he's gon be a lil gremlin#hehehehhehehehehjwehdJ#do not repost#my art
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and i got eyes on the back of my head, i got eyes everywhere so i know where you go
#yrdnzz art#blue lock#blue lock fanart#isagi yoichi#isagi#bllk#artists on tumblr#hey#been a minute.... sorry fazgang#I FEEL LIKE IM ALWAYS APOLOGIZING IN THE TAGS my fault#ill do better mb yall i just graduated this month and ive been just chilling doing fuck all bc ive been artblocked AYE EFF#big thank u to jamie for talking me thru this piece even tho its sooo simple#just having someone to talk to about how i feel abt my art was very helpful bc i was definitely stuck on how to start drawing again#what graduating with a bs in comp sci does to a mf i guess#anyways hope yall like this one LOVE U ALL MWAH
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seb and clora working on baby #1 👶 🔞🔞!! NSFW !!🔞🔞
[poipiku]
[twitter]
#celeste is technically in this picture💀 almost tagged her just to be truly unhinged LMAOO#im working on a oneshot rn where they finally do the deed without any contraceptives/actually try to get pregnant#surprisingly it wont have THAT much smut tho its just gonna be a small part of it I SWEAR!!! but then again we'll see#cuz seb always takes the reigns once i start writing him LMAO#the main focus is gonna be seb super excited/distracted leading up to the day and he cant pay attention to anything else BAHAHA#and then afterwards how even tho its too early to test he'll already be convinced clora is pregnant bc ITS HIS SWIMMERS CMON!!! no doubt#and then overprotective seb with preggo clora NATURALLY...even more insane than he usually is#and lawley will be making an appearance🥰to congratulate them ofc🥰🥰hes soooooo happy for them!!🥰🥰🥰#and theres gonna be a teensy bit of dad seb at the end hehe...honstly i wasnt planning to write any stuff with the kids#but i wrote a brief celeste/seb interaction and i was like aw wait this is cute?? i want more....so maaaybe there shall be more dad seb#hogwarts legacy smut#sebastian sallow smut#clora clemons#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow#choccyart
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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#for fun!!!!!!!!! btw!!!!! pls dont fight over a silly poll ok#the rest will be made next time and theyll be on my to do list just a lower prio#if cait gets a thirsty expedited gifset vi gets one too bc i will always be biased for them LMAO#also depending on what people pick the uhhhhh number of gifs will prolly change...... i think we only get to see her arms in act 3 so yeah#i'll always be a vi's ass truther tho lol#vi#vi arcane#arcane#arcane vi#type: polls
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I try to pretend redemptions in reach | prints
#art#my art#pepijopa#arthur morgan#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#thought abt how arthur keeps killing himself and the end is unavoidable and threw up<3 so have this#i wanna do more finished proper pieces and i am !! but also its always cowboys- i think ill try more illustration types again tho next#unless i draw my cowboy from rdo#rdr2 fanart#red dead redemption 2 fanart#rdr#red dead redemption#fanart#arthur morgan fanart#painting#cowboy#western#cowboy art
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