#i will put as many tags as i want its my art and im proud
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art yay I drew elijah for @clock0fmeantime
astounding to me that it took over 8 hours to finish i dont even sleep that long!!!
her tiara's jewels are the colour of her mask ^_^ and the metal is the stars of her robe and the feather(?) is the robes base yay
#i dont go here i just like my boyfriend :3#i will put as many tags as i want its my art and im proud#artfight#af 2024#team stardust#elijah volkov#my boyfriend is so cool#self-ishposting#boyfriend mentioned#chnt#ch&t#fanart#ch&t fanart#camp here and there#camp here & there#chnt elijah#dont bring up the transfem elijah drama in my art i dont care i dont go here shes transfem because my wife says so and hes always correct#she/her elijah volkov for president 2024
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hiiiii im garrett (but you can also call me sterling, lamb, or sour!) this is my main blog 💕
🔞my bsky is here- NO MINORS! some tags:
🎨#g.png (art tag) / 🙏 #they of salvation au (mainline COTL au) / ☠ #divine parasite au ('bad end'/evil lamb au)
🌟i have a billion sideblogs but i never use them- as a result this blog is a big melting pot of interests and other posts! if you want only fandom content you may want to look elsewhere
🌟my current hyperfixation is cult of the lamb but i have many other interests! namely pokemon, d&d, fnaf, alien, sanrio, animal crossing, etc etc if i listed all of them this post would take a thousand years to read
🌟feel free to spam me!!!! i mean it. i love getting my notification box full of likes, reblogs, asks, mentions, anything! mutuals can also dm me if they'd like
🌟i don't give out my discord to non-mutuals sorry
🌟i self reblog a LOT!!! i like to bump my art in the timeline so everyone can see it! if you're wondering if ive posted sometimes this pin will be replaced with art im proud of 💗
🌟if you want to make fanart of my ocs or designs i would love to see it!!!!
✖ some boundaries;
do not ask for art requests unless ive made a post asking for them, please! this is just to prevent me from feeling overwhelmed
no asks about pregnancy or anything related please. asking for pairing babies is a different story though!
do not use they/them for me. my pronouns are it/its, friends and mutuals can also use he/him but i GREATLY prefer it/its
minors ignoring my many 18+ warnings are getting hard blocked sorry, it's to keep everyone safe!
my fandom art can be used elsewhere but PLEEEASE credit me with a link back to this blog!
i dont have other social media and i dont plan on making any, tumblr is the only place you'll be able to find me (aside from archive profiles) i caved and now i have a bsky for my nsft stuff-
do not use any feminine terms or pet names for me At All ever please-
putting some of my refs ive made under the cut for ease of access! [only my lambs and my main fursona atm-]
#like if u read it if you want to but ur not obligated <3#g.txt#g.pin#<- so i dont lose this#i like to make my pinned new art so ppl can see it when they check my blog-#but i like having a good place to put everything!
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twenty questions for writers
thanks sm @swifty-fox for the tag!! i love things like this.
tagging @magneticghouls and @onyxsboxes and literally anyone who fancies it
how many works do you have on ao3?
33!
what's your total ao3 word count?
155,902
what fandoms do you write for?
whatever tf the current fixation is. i've written for rooster teeth, our flag means death, buzzfeed unsolved, masters of the air, the eternals, and challengers! currently got a slow horses fic in the works :))
top five fics by kudos
i like the way your words taste - a fluffy druig/makkari oneshot with 860
wild things - a western gale cleven/john egan au with 849
the art of consumption - a smutty art/patrick fic with 780
make you feel alive - another gale cleven/john egan oneshot with 633
hitchhikers - a serial killer ryan begara/shane madej au with 485 (the first multichapter fic i wrote that got me an audience it was wild)
do you respond to comments?
ofc! i try and respond to every single one with at least a thank you
what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
a fic called stay with me, which ended in MCD.
what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
i end most of my fics happily!
i think the happiest is probably wild things. everything works out for the better in that one
do you get hate on fics?
i dont! very grateful that everyones always so nice, makes me feel like the are you winning son meme
do you write smut?
i used to never write smut but something this year just had me writing so much of it and whilst it feels mostly awkward to write, people seem to like it!
craziest crossover?
i've never written any kind of crossover, and i don't like to read them either. i guess MOTA in the western genre is the closest i'll come.
have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of!
have you ever had a fic translated?
nope!
have you ever co-written a fic before?
also nope!
all time favorite ship?
ive been in fandoms since i was like 12, there's no way i can pick an all time favourite. it literally just depends on what im into at the time.
i really like inej/kaz from six of crows. i think scully/mulder is great. hannibal/will. ellie/dina. willem/jude.
off the top of my head i would say i'm most fond of the tenth doctor/rose. that one gets me.
what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i'm really starting to doubt my ability to finish seven miles out of freedom town. im gonna try my best but the hyperfixation has moved on and it feels more like a chore than something im enjoying rn. im really sorry to anyone that disappoints, it disappoints me too, cos wild things was genuinely some of the most fun i've ever had writing fic and interacting with a community. i'll try and get it finished, it might just take me a while.
what are your writing strengths?
i think im pretty good at dialogue, making it sound like something a real person would say.
i think im fairly decent at dramatic writing, at making things sound flowery and poetic and theatric. thats my favourite way to write.
dont think im too bad at characterisation most of the time.
what are your writing weaknesses?
i suck at worldbuilding. i think its boring and i dont care for it, i just want to write about the characters. planning bores me. i just write things and go back and fix inconsistencies later.
wild things is the most effort i've ever put into a world. i was googling locations like a mofo to make things accurate.
thoughts on dialogue in another language?
i think its great! one of my favourite fics has a character that speaks french and he uses it to tease other characters who don't know what he's saying. its done so beautifully.
first fandom you wrote in?
if we're talking actual first fandom it was probably one direction or creepy pasta when i was like 13.
the first fandom i ever wrote for seriously was buzzfeed unsolved in 2018.
favorite fic you've written?
im very proud of washed clean, an angsty oneshot about gale/john. i really like the writing in that one.
i dont think i can pick a favourite, i have like three. hitchhikers and the axeman of new orleans were my starting points and really showed me the joy of writing fic that other people were going to read. i had a lot of fun writing those and i love me some dark themes.
wild things consumed my every thought for like, the 11 days i was writing it. ive never been so obsessed with one of my own fics before, it still blows me away how well it was recieved and i met some great people through it so im eternally grateful for that.
yeehaw, y'all.
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Fanfic self-rec!!
So a while ago I got tagged by @forest-falcon (im 99% sure), and I didn't get to it at the time, but I really wanted to do it! So here it is, very belatedly and based entirely off my memory of the post because I don't have the energy to conduct an archaelogical excavation of my blog as I can only hope I tagged it well.
~very paraphrased~ rec five(?) of your works and why you are proud of them. Then tag x amount of people. (I think it was also for art not just writing?)
Probably the most chaotic way of answering this. Also turned into a bit of me reflecting and musing over my writing.
But in no particular order as I'm proud of them for different reasons :)
----
Blue Skies- tumblr Ao3 Scott and Bereznik with Gordon too. Very whumpy, then hurt/comforty. I am extremely proud of this one, like so so proud. There is a massive amount of emotion in it, written all in one go and I stayed up to 1 am to finish it. It is a lot about trauma and honestly a lot of putting feelings onto paper. But all the details, the parts I think i did a really good job of viscerally showing instead of telling, the blue skies theme. It's intense and there are many awful, painful things, but there is also hope. That's definitely a main theme of my writing: no matter what I put them through, they will come out of it and there will be hope again.
Bruised- tumblr Ao3 Earth and Sky. Hurt/comfort. Some Virgil worrying over Scott, a bit of classic Scott-angsting, then lots of brotherly affection between them. The end is very Soft. Everyone gets a hug and then to sleeeep.
Squid Hug- tumblr Ao3 FishTanky fluff with lots of cuddles. Makes a good comfort read, with a bit funny, a little silly, and a good dose of hurt/comfort leaning heavily to the comfort. Did I mention the hugs?
As Sure As The Stars- tumblr Ao3 trans Alan! A realisation of it, and a coming out. And Alan and John together stargazing and a conversation on the roof. I poured alot of growing up queer experiences into it for myself and it also seemed to resonate with others too.
Pride Paint And Rainbow Pins- tumblr Ao3 My first Thunderbirds fic and for Thunderpride too!! Its short, fluffy and sweet! Some artist!Virgil plus a few puns. (And I really wish I had all of those pride pins, because I made the designs of nearly all of them up and I love them). And the pride themes! It really makes me happy in itself. But as well for being my jumping off point in Thunderfam. It has many of my queer headcanons for everyone when I'd been too shy (and anxious about being welcome) to make them into my own post.
Bonus points to the numerous WIPS I am working on that are as yet unfinished but I am still very proud of and can't wait till I do!
The Blue Blanket Fic!! I can't not mention it! I'm working on turning it into a full fic, which the first part of is here. But look at what @edutainer2022 and I already wrote. There be feelings, there be Scott whump, there be the blue comfort blanket!
:D
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tag game: stranger things edition 👻
tagged by @ratbastardbilly and @intothedysphoria (ty guys xx)
1. ride or die ship (your otp): CUNNINGWAY!!! They’re my girls. Chrissy and Heather my beloveds. I have never been so hyped for a ship before and this is the first time I’ve put this much effort into one, but if I don’t advocate for this rarepair then who will? (the answer is bambi. bambi will. but whatever, you get the point)
2. most annoying ship: there isn’t really a ship i find WHOLLY annoying. stancy maybe. i also think jancy and mileven have ran their course and jopper gives me a lil bit of the ick. obvi no hate to the ships or those that ship it!!
3. second favourite ship: ima have to say harringrove, but there are others i like a lot too!!
4. favourite platonic relationship: heather, chrissy & billy. the chaos trio. more should be done with them <3
5. underrated ship: there are so many!! argyle/chrissy (which i am lovingly referring to as pompompinapple, just try and stop me)? byergrove (billy/jonathan)? calicheer (billy/chrissy)??? how can i possibly choose????
6. overrated ship: uhhhh this feels dangerous. but steddie. dont get me wrong, i love this ship, but the boom in works for them was INSANE cause i dont think they have TOO MUCH chemistry in canon (tho there 100% is a good bit and it makes sense)
7. one thing i would change in canon: the blatant lack of care the main cast have for characters outside their group. no empathy for billy, barely anyone looking into heather, characters dying that no one mentions again…
8. something canon did right: I really liked steve and dustin’s dynamic. like, a LOT. they cocked it up a bit in s4 for the sake of ‘haha, dumb steve’ but yeah. theyre sweet :)
9. a thing i’m proud of creating for the fandom: my sideblog @poolsidepanic . i know that its a niche ship but i hope i help other people who love them as much as me actually be able to enjoy their ship and not just… be disappointed when they come up empty handed. the art and little fics and such i make over there make me so happy <3
10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldnt change a thing): heather. sassy, bitchy, yet kindhearted lifeguard? yes. the only thing id change is the DISSERVICE THE DUFFERS GAVE HER WHEN THEY KILLED HER AND IGNORED HER EXISTENCE.
11. the character i relate most to the most and why: steve. just how he responds to the offhanded comments the people he cares about make to him, that they never seem to realise hurt.
12. character i hate most and why: neil, karen, brenner. no explanation needed
13. something ive learned from the fandom: idk. ive always wanted to be a positive person but seeing some of the toxicity in the fandom has made me really want to keep my little blog as positive and safe as i can for everyone. some things we see SUCK but if i can make someones day a lil better id like to? so not really a learn but an encouragement to be nicer wherever i can
14. three tags i seek out on ao3: i dont read a lot of st fanfiction, actually. i havent been in the mood for it for AGES!! but in general im a slow burn, hurt/comfort, angst kind of person. i love the occasional, agonising right person not enough time or some character bashing for the sake of compelling suffering (if done right!!!)
15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: ooooh fun!!! ‘Groan’, ‘Wet’ and ‘Maggot’ by Dazey and the Scouts are so Billy. ‘Drunk Walk Home’ by Mitski gives me Chrissy vibes, and ‘Maggot’ again for her tbh (billy and chrissy, my sad beloved blorbos). there arent any songs i associate with cunningway yet tho 😔
tagging: @bigdumbbambieyes @hargrove-mayfields @billyhargrovesupsidedownshadow @every-dayiwakeup and anyone else interested in sharing :)
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tags for the memes i made based on pokespe or gameverse / stuff made with mmd
helloww (*´ー`*).. you can call me anything like tofu, vee, twiflo or my other names (if you know them) as long as ik youre talking to me, i cant decide on a consistent name so i have a lot lol, or you can give me a nickname i dont mind
Trans guy 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️❗️❗️❗️ Im slowly becoming more normal abt this fact but yar. I'm just a normal silly guy other than that. well not normal in any way but i am a very silly guy :3
i know fluent english chinese and some 日本語 i dont know why is this relevant or why am i putting it here. my englsih is decently good i just like typing bad english whenever i can its funny. I dont know how to type chinese i can only use the handwriting board :smile:
i post stuff im interested in, reblogs of art n stuff and sometimes funny/unfunny shitposts too so its just easier to have these tags for my memes.
>boundaries/limits
I’m a multishipper and I fall into ship rabbit holes really easily; just once piece of art that’s good and I will fall like a motherfucker but I’m also weirdly picky. I don’t like certain straight ships of red green gold silver (eg red & yellow, gold & kris) but pretty much everyone else im open with anything. Like sapph ruby plat dia pearl (eg sapph & blue, sapph & ruby). Okay ill be honest this is a very short list but i hope you get what i mean by being multishipper but picky.
I'm a proshipper but thats just bc Im very fucked up in the head so i like fucked up shit, but just fiction tho. i think anything that happens with real people is weird as fuck, it’s just that im fucked in the head so i like to see weird unreal shit thats all. And i think people who are antiship are fucking stupid bc these are fictional characters. pixels.
No strict dni list but I hate genshin/anything related (eg honkai. Garbage ass disgusting named games) so just don’t purposely shove any of those stuff in my face or youll be blocked. I don’t care enough to check if you like them or whatever, you can like them just don’t talk to me abt them. I also don’t like roblox but not to the genshin point bc i downloaded it some times to play with somone if im very good friends w. I just dont like many of the copycat games n like just gacha or stupid games, some very original roblox games are cool tho. Ye.
<end
uh yeah. if you wanna chat my dms n asks are open. i dont mind.
#tflo arts if you want to check out my art/doodles. Im not too proud of my stuff esp if theyre not tagged with character tags so you can just search it up if you really want to. you can request me to draw stuff if you wanna lol...
miner in the gungeons ill be 18 next year im old i dont really want to be 18 i hope i die might kms before then breakdance sorry i meant breakdance sorry i meant breakdance sorry i meant
hey wow you read it to here. im actually just a really mentally ill kid that gets physically sick really easily and often and im not good at anything so i make memes. Well i say im mentally ill but my parents dont believe me bc theyre asians so i never saw any doctor to have any proof lol
Hrmm. My main interests are Pokemon Splatoon Vocaloid (Kagamines). I guess. I also like Pjsk Persona 5 Gundam Build Fighters Macross Delta Jewelpet Shugo Chara Henry Stickmin MahoAko Madoka Sky(COTL) Kirby n foxes/crows/cats in general. Just off the top of my head im adding stuff to this list when I remember. I dont space anything bc iykyk them. if you wanna check them out then you can just search them up
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OOP IM SAUR SORRY tags did not load for me with my prev ask - 47, 51, 59 for satine, the loveliest rose satine 🥺🌹🎭
sixty-nine more questions for your ttrpg characters! / ask.
weuben!!!!!! (picks you up and spins you) TY TY!!!
47. what could they talk about for hours on end?
presentation! the presentation of something, especially wrt creative projects. the way an artist painted something, the way a musician composed something, the way a stage director asked for things to be done, like... because of his theater background both in the last life and in this one, he is really obsessed with the deliberate composition of things. not necessarily the way something looks per se, but just like. the way someone decided to put something together and show someone else, it's like casting your soul into light.
so like, especially with artists, satine can listen to (and talk about) why he chose to do something for a long time. reasoning, justification, meaning, you know? but this applies to things that aren't art-related too... like, talking about gender! he could probably talk about the fun about gender and what it means to him and how he presents, too. theater!!!! the self! presentation. what we present to the world and what it means to show something that we want to be seen (or better yet, recognized).
51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?
AHH maybe the doppelganger element... it's been a couple years now that i've wanted to play the second version of someone, whether someone who died or someone who was artificially made (to be in the shape of someone). in 2015 i wrote smth with a friend that was like "guy comes back from the dead and feels like something other than himself, wants so badly to be seen as himself still, knows and is continuously traumatized by the fact that he both is and isn't"
and that's a narrative i've been exploring in characters for a while now, from a ton of different angles. but i don't think i've had a character who actively is the second-following incarnation of someone yet, so i'm excited to have finally followed through on the desire to play someone like that! especially since satine doesn't really have a complex of "please see me as the self i was" and is rather earnestly like, "i am in some ways that person, truly, but please see me as someone with my own life to live" and stuff.
it's a lot of like, navigating the urge to let go of people pleasing in/of making sure she doesn't drive herself crazy trying to perfectly be what everybody wants from her - letting go of trying to be a self that people knew, too, so it's an arc i really love and find personal for many reasons and i'm proud of its execution so far!!! so happy to be playing it in out a longform campaign.
59. what’s an element of their philosophy that you disagree with?
ohhh! well let's see. satine is .. really forgiving. and i don't think i would agree with some of the things she can forgive with enough context. this is super thought-provoking because satine has a gentler perspective of the world than i do, he's more like... lenient about rolling with the punches. i'm more indignant
i guess the obvious answer is "satine can forgive pretty lightly depending on the person, he could even forgive murder if it was explained well enough emotionally" and you look at me and the characters i like and we both laugh but you know, in real life, in practice. G:LSJDKGLSDKSDG:L maybe it's just that satine doesn't hold grudges when people hurt him but i do.
satine also probably doesn't see the point of revenge for any reason and holds no pettiness. there is like negative twelve pettiness in satine's body, he doesn't see the sense in revenge at all. i, revenge arc enjoyer, do. i definitely think it's fun to have a really forgiving character who is learning what is more forgivable, and forming stronger opinions about what to forgive and what not to the longer he lives in the real world. mind you, satine has only been conscious in this life for 3ish years. ;LGJKSHLDGL;F Oh she's got planny of time.
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izzy intro ✨✨
alright hi bitches its me /lh
if ur new, hi! im izzy! im a bmc enthusiast and a proud member of the squip inc rp !!
BASIC INFORMATION
• she/they
• biromantic demisexual
• i do rp, art, writing, and animation.
MY FANDOMS
• be more chill/squip inc
• splatoon
• heathers
• six
SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION
• i am a certified hydra hivemind and squangbanger (anony + foxxi + spirez + cowboy + oli + jo + will + izzy) member <3
• i get a little silly sometimes especially on vc/if i grow closer to u
• i am EXTREMELY sensitive. like. i will burst into tears if i think that you're mad at me /neg
• i constantly use tone indicators
• i am likely the biggest riverway (BMC) shipper ever
• i always spell things wrong, but it's kind of turned more into a comical thing rather than a problem :]
DO NOT SEND ME THE FOLLOWING:
• unsolicited nsfw or nudes (im a minor bitchass)
• graphic violence and gore (please put a TW, this stuff will literally make me pass out so NO !!)
• anyone else's personal information without consent (doxxing is a no-no <3)
SQUiP INC STUFF
first of all, what is squip inc?
• squip inc is a discord and tumblr rp that began with a simple anon ask on @anonyb0b's blog!! soon, everyone started creating their own squip ocs and now we have a full-fledged rp that we plan to turn into a web comic. in fact, we even have our own growing wiki!
my character
• in squip inc, i play a major character named unit 6339, or better known as mio, and a minor character named izzy (basically just myself but in the rp form) !!
• izzy's lore began as me joke-flirting with @a-superquantumunitintelprocessor and fighting a love war with my friend spirez. after i lost the love war, i felt anger and envy mixed with the curiosity of the side effects, and thus, i took a squip. that squip ended up being mio.
• mio is judgemental, rebellious, salty, and pretty gay ngl. however, her life is cut short when she is corrupted and killed by a virus. but let's be honest, the story would be pretty boring if it ended there. mio is brought back to life using an interesting method and returns with a... rebooted personality. if you want more details on mio and the other characters in squip inc, make sure to check out the wiki and dm me for any extra information !!
mio's blog -- @mio-chxrry
who all is involved in squip inc ?
• oh, tons of people. in the official discord server, we currently have 35 members, and that's just in the discord server! we have many more active members on tumblr. it's honestly such an amazing thing! and i am totally invested in anima's group's lore.
MY TAGS
art -- #izzy art
writing -- #izzy writes
rp lore -- #squip ocs, #jeffrey moments, #squip inc, #the squapocalypse, #squangbangers, #squolive garden, #mio moments, #anima, #cowboy's ranch, #the jeffrey lore, #squip rp
old miscellaneous tag -- #anyways
ooc -- #ooc jeffrey lore, #ooc squip rp
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I wanna say... thank you for your super odoroble, fun, versatile and colourful 100 drawings, they are so much fun, I wish I was as talented 😢 Blease, you put so much work into them it's uhmazing. They are so pretty I could go through them daily and never get bored. I lurked around on twitter (more stalked you) and on tumblr and gosh I love them all so darn much, but especially D-81 for some reason (ok maybe because it captured his cuteness so well) and D-18 because I love a cute catboy with a fun outfit and cool pose. Always love your humour and love reading your opinion in the tags... it's 3 am here, if it's incoherent I blame it on that. Sorry I just wanted to express my gratitude and have you heard SHINEES BACK BACK BACK BACK !!!! xjdkfkfk sorry I have so many Taemotions in me, legit teared up seeing him, I missed him so much I can't describe it. Anyway take care, stay healthy💙 thanks again💙
omg 🥺 !!!! i cant even say youre welcome lol, thank U for saying this 🥺 yeah i did put a lot of work i cant deny 😭😭 i feel so accomplished but its the kind of thing i dont know if i would ever want to do again... i hate sticking to one thing and repeating myself (just like taemin fr) so that made it even harder 💀 (but even more fun) tbh coming up with 100 ideas was just as hard as the art itself !!!
those 2 are also some of my favorites :D i actually made a little thing of my 10 favorites and least favorites when i was processing the whole deal, so i might post it 🤔 im glad people like clown taem, im unexpectedly rly proud of the design so i might draw him more in the future !!! (im glad/surprised ppl think im funny too 💀 i thought i was my own one man audience lol) thank u so much this means a lot u have no ideas 🥺🥺
and HELLYEAH :D SHINEES BACK FOREVER !!! NO ONE LEAVE AGAIN !!!! tonight i rode in the car with the windows down blasting sherlock so loud and pointing to the full moon ^_^ SHINEES BACK !!! 💎💎💎💎💎
#save#this is one of the nicest things for reals ^_^#im so surprised how many ppl like my art suddenly and how many nice things ppl are saying.... im so grateful every time#i think i make kinda weirdo art that doesnt have the Mass Popularity easy listening aspect but i think ive found my kind of people ykno :D
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Süßer (making candy apples can be distracting)
(buy print)
#i have many things to say ill put then after the important tags#shadowgast#sgtober2021#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#critical role fanart#critical role#mighty nein#c2#my art#ok#im really excited to share this! its been a long time since ive used brushes that are more paint-y digitally#i think this is the best sg piece ive done so far im so happy with it#the theme candy apples called to me i love them so much and the potential for romance is there along with melted sugar or caramel#somehow im both really proud of this and also i see so many things i want to change already but im ignoring that for now#and this is a print you can buy!#and also a thousand other products redbubble automatically creates idk about those but#art print!#if you buy one send me a pic when it arrives id love to see it
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RIGHT okay uh so imagine meeting the god of time and theyre wearing a sleeveless argyle sweater. what would you think
#my art#artists on tumblr#it's always the art tag#lampposts#time tayvel#ok hold on let me ramble a little#sorry for putting this in the Tags tee em but You Know What im bringing time tayvel out here!!! (icoherent)#on one hand proud of myself on the other hand holy shit i Never want to draw again lmao#not canon to interstellar bus by tha way#violated SO many personal drawing morals for this but thats okay. its okay <3
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i um. guess i just realized im practically nonverbal online. ive been trying to socialize more, especially cause i want to promote my art because life is very not easy right now. i have so many mental illness, trauma, and fear of basically everything that i dont even leave the house. but im crippling shy over text because i cant see other people's expressions. i really do most of my talking in the notes. because its like voicing my own thoughts, people dont need to hear them, but people who're interested will know. so its comfortable rather than putting this out here for anyone to see.
and then i get an ask
i know theres a large group if people who dont like me. someone in my past, someone i can't remember because ive mentally blocked years 2014-2017. its all a void....but my friend who was closely aware of what happened has told me that people dont like me because of something that happened.
i have severe PTSD, i hallucinate people coming after me anytime im alone in public. i go nonverbal around strangers. i used to be...different. i want to be that way again. i want to know what happened to the me from 5 years ago.
the aforementioned ask: "you sure are proud talking to yourself"
as someone who's had this current blog for 10 years and only recently hit 1000 original posts, its a big deal for me to add my "voice" in the tags.
i know im talking to myself.
i dont care that i am. but i want to know why you wanted to ridicule me? i have 112 followers, most are bots that i never deleted because i wanted to think i had more people who liked me...
what i want to know, is why you came to say that shit to me? dont be mean. i want to end all strife. whatever the world sends me, i want to end amicably. ive been making my amends in the world. what did i do to you? why cant i remember it? why cant i remeber you? why after 5 years are you still angry with me? or is it spite? do you hate me despite how lowly youve made me? Please. Whoever you are, move on. Leave me alone.
(this is long and im stupid, so im sorrey for making you read all this. i don't understand computers at all otherwise id put a read more on it)
#this person ruined me. im glad i don't remember#ive always been an abrasive person#but i was friendly with everyone in school#people came to me to mediate things in all my clubs#so i really cant imagine what i did....#but seriously spread love come clean to the people around you#people will appreciate apologies for things they let slide#apologies are not a sure fix but it will absolve you of your negativity to humble yourself#seriously though#whoever it is leave me alone#please
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tagged by @tearsofgrace @dreamnovak (and possibly others?? sorry if i missed you but i definitely saw the tag at some point lmao!!)
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!
oh god. here goes nothin’...just,, a lot of these are from suptober bc that’s when i was Least Busy and wrote a lot so!! yea
get it out - a ficlet i did for suptober20 where dean and cas go on a case and have some serious ust in a bathtub, covered in gross goo and water. (wc: ~1k, teen & up)
melt the ice - hurt/comfort ficlet (also for suptober20 lmao) wherein dean has a panic attack in the middle of a winter storm over a fight he and cas had had. (wc: ~1k, teen & up)
to switch places - 15x15 coda (sort of) in which Dean accidentally flips a switch that puts him in Cas’ body, and vice versa. (wc: ~2.1k, teen & up)
because without you, i’ll unravel again - my most recent poem, which, i mean. it’s better than some fics i’ve written, so i’ll include it on here for that reason. dean’s pov, destiel, angsty !!
not just a gift - Sam finds out about the mixtape Dean made for Cas and thinks he might just lose it because of how clueless those two are. i do like this one solely because sam is two seconds away from smashing his head against something (wc: ~1.5k, teen & up)
saving grace (and staying put) - i think this might be my most popular ficlet...which is...insane?? it’s a christmassy one, with some presents exchanged, and i’m proud that i was able to actually write some okay fluff! so! (wc: ~1.3k, teen & up)
empty bottles, broken time - 15x19 coda, angst, dean prays to cas, but of course!! (wc: ~850, teen & up)
left ajar - 15x18 coda. dean’s pov and jack’s pov, angsty, but i like my writing in this one, i think (,: (wc: ~1.1k, teen & up)
i actually forgot that a wrote a lot of these, so seeing them again was a trip!! i’ll upload the ones that aren’t on ao3 yet to ao3 soon, if you want to read them there instead!! ♡ enjoy! i’ll add my tag list just for funsies-
@castiels-a-lamp @jellydeans @writtenmemxries @cestladean @randomblabbling @fluffiestlou @dreamnovak @weird-dorky-little-d @depressivedemonnightmaredean @castiels-pussy @friedchickenangelwings @galaxycastiel @destielle @dickspeightjrs @on-a-bender @organicpurplepants @casbelieves @samuelswinchester @spacegirlstuff @seffersonjtarship @winchester-novak @professorerudite @squintingg @holmesemrys @imnotrevealingmyname @mishha @good-things-do-happen-dean @angxlsgrxce @casandeans @castielscrookedtrenchcoat @destiel-in-its-natural-habitat @gracelesschoice @superduckbatrebel @iheardyourprayer @top13zepptraxx @that-one-fandom-chick @scoobydean @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh @maxguevra @cursed-or-not @i-think-im-humanbut-cant-besure @mirrorsball @madilineskingdom @awolfnamedaliac @castee-yel @tearsofgrace @credentiast @fivefeetfangirl @my-favourite-hellatus @gray-is-neutral @sunflower-vol-28 @ensignabby @ar-bi-trary @lulu-zodiac @y-yo-a-ti-dumbass @castielology @nguyenxtrang @destiel-bitches @supergaycas @deancasology @miadeline @save-the-sloths @goblinwritergay @theroguetranslator @imals18 @downtherabbitholeproductions
#tag game#my other poems are ok too im just a wee bit insecure about em#rambleoncas writing#my post#destiel#fic recs#masterpost#roc original#b*destiel
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I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?
scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!
for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)
anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)
derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.
i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!
i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.
dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).
i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.
all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.
date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.
4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.
3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)
3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.
dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah
nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!
i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.
oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.
#meta#derena#dair#date#anon#this is SUCH a gushy essay but like. what did you expect#how else could i have answered this#this took. an embarrassingly long amount of time#but i had SO much fun so#citations for my ships#don't mind me *whistles under my breath*
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So I was tagged by @cynthi-universe, go check em out they’re great
But yeah here’s -
8 Favorite works of the year (in no particular order)
1.) Alphonse from Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood
I had fun using medibang’s pencil tool and im surprised by the result! Drew this from a reference of course but yeah, pretty darn good if I do say so myself!
2.) A HTTYD SU AU fanart for a friend
Yeah I drew this for a friend... Looks real good and simple. Love the moon and the necks of those beasts.
Friend if you see this ur awesome
3.) Vonvon but they’re a dragon
It stems from the SU AU from 2.) but I love how I drew the head and the small details on the body. I just love scales man.
Also since it is Vonvon, yeah Im gonna say it here. Vonvon is also one of my fav works as a character. I just love them, so tiny, so bright.
4.) Boneless Connie UWU
This artwork and including the character I’ve established i love. Despite its cursed nature, there’s a cute energy to her that’s just H to me. She’s adorable.
Also ive heard she’s a meme at this point. Im proud.
5.) Comfort in the rain
just love this piece, the soft light, the rain (that I copied and pasted cuz I was lazy) the softness AUGH! I love it!!
6.) Kenji’s I Am My Diamond (Draw in Your Style Challenge)
What I loved about this piece was the play of watercolor and lighting on the hair and cape. So satisfying and so good. I love how it turned out and I love the big baby boi.
7.) Dadgem glow
Had to put 2 here cuz they’re both good and their kinda the same thing; I loved playing with that soft pink glow. Its cold and warm at the same time, just like our pal pink papa steven over here!
8.) I Am My Diamond in the style of Save the Light
this was my second attempt at making a save the light style character, and I gotta say this one looks legit! its got that cuteness to it along with the menacing look in Diamond’s eyes
But yeah, I have SO many more works I’m pretty proud of so far, but I chose these ones cuz why not
I tag @kenji-arts @rannvadraws @raisansgrapeon @disaster-mouse @rubixdraws aaand whoever else wants to join!
#long post#my art#dad gem AU#i am my diamond au#steven universe au#vonvon#boneless connie#alphonse elric#connverse
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Very Late End Of Year Review
tagged by @scilessweetheart thank you so very much!!!
fandoms you wrote for?
Teen Wolf, but i do have a few unpublished fics written in other fandoms.
how many works did you make (fics, edits, moodboards, etc)?
Oh god… give me a sec… 58 fics published (61 originally but I unpublished some fics of a series i wanna redo), 18 fanart, once again published, 60 fanworks as in edits, moodboards, picsets, gifset (only one of that), shitposty content, etc etc. bro i just keep making things.
what are you most proud of?
Hmmmmm.. Probably the scackson 6k smut thing in my docs, because the sheer amount of work i put in finishing the first draft of it in 2021 for 3 months straight (oct-dec) says something about me.
any stats you want to share?
Well, stats are that im a pure content farm because 139 complete fanworks of all kind in a year sounds fine but when i say that its a year where i had 4 months of continuous exams, grade school graduation and getting into uni in a course that is a’level (advanced level) science when i didnt even learn o’level (ordinary level) science in school, it sounds wild.
what inspired you?
Sheer willpower and raging flame of love for my ships. And mutuals and friends I found along the way. Oh and because when i want [insert very specific plot arc story fic thing] i have to make [said specific plot arc story fic thing] so i roll up my sleeves and do just that.
what did you not think you’d create? why?
I dont know to be honest because i dont set expectations for myself or expectations that expect me to not make a specific thing. I did not expect spending the last few months of 2021 writing a scackson self indulgent 6k smut thing. Nor did i actually think it’d snowball into something big, i just wanted to get out of a writing block by writing some smut.
what are you most looking forward to for next year?
In fandom sense: writing more fics, making more art (once my comp is fixed because im having a withdrawal from not being able to draw digitally, the symptoms are drawing cowboys nonstop on a cheap sketchbook), ooo and i hope to write another long fic! Preferably more than 15k. But something big, yknow, more than 10k words
In non-fandom sense: im looking forward to starting my bachelors degree in the later half of this year!
tagging: anyone who wants to do it because i dont know which of my mutuals has already done this one!
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