#i will probably make more posts in the future where i talk more about caleb and zarina bc i have so many thoughts about them

[garden-of-infinity]

And maybe I'm being irritating with two asks, lol, but I'd love to hear about some of your favorite platonic pairings—and if you're so inclined, some headcanons for said pairings! I'm always a sucker for them and never see enough of them, in my humble opinion. love your writing, by the way. Your ideas are lovely and spark inspiration for me, and they're always so fun to read. Even the ones I don't always expect give me another angle to look at things from, and it's all around a very, very good thing. 💖

You're not being irritating at all! It's always a delight to receive asks from you. And thank you so much! You have no idea how much that means to me. Seriously, thank you. 🖤💖

I have so many platonic pairings I love. It was hard picking who I wanted to include for this, but I decided to go with the ones I have the most ideas for.

The pairings featured blow include Caleb and Zarina, Susie and Joey, and Kate and Jeff.

Caleb and Zarina

I've gone through many different ideas of how I wanted them to start off, but the version I'm sticking with for now is this:

It didn't take long for Zarina to piece together that the Deathslinger was the outlaw she had been researching before she was taken by the fog. Ever since she figured it out, she's been trying to get through to him. The few times she tried to reason with him in trials ended… less than ideally. It was like there was some barrier between them that kept her words from reaching him.

She tried confronting him at Glenvale in between trials, but the only answers she gained from that experience was what happens to a survivor when they die outside of a trial. Zarina was so shaken when she awoke back at the campfire that she almost considered calling it quits, but later as she was digging through her belongings in her tent, she rediscovered the wrench she had found in Caleb's cell and it gave her new idea. 

Zarina headed back to Glenvale for one last attempt. This time, when she was face to face with the Deathslinger, she presented him with his lost wrench. He stared at her for a moment before lowering his gun and snatching the tool out of her hand, inspecting it for his father's initials engraved on the handle. When his gaze had once again settled on Zarina, she noticed his eyes had lost their ghostly glow. 

Caleb didn't understand who she was or where she came from. A moment ago, it had been Bayshore standing before him. Zarina theorized that it was the Entity's doing, and at first Caleb was so enraged by the idea that he nearly forced her out of his realm, but then he realized she was right. He'd been conned yet again. 

Caleb was angry, but he wanted answers. He invited Zarina into the saloon to talk and she explained how her research led her to the realm and what she described as the barrier when she had tried to talk to him before. It was the start of their friendship and many of Caleb's disputes with the Entity. 

I think that in order for the Entity's manipulation to work successfully, the killers need to be either emotionally or mentally vulnerable. This makes them more impressionable and therefore easier to control (sorta like jedi mind tricks? Sorrt but that's the only example of what I'm trying to get at that comes to mind rn). Once a killer gains awareness of the Entity's tricks and learns how to defend against them, it becomes a little harder for the Entity to control them. Caleb's mostly free from the Entity's influence thanks to Zarina, but there are rare moments in trials where his anger gets the best of him the Entity is able to regain its control. This has unfortunately put Zarina on the receiving end of his wrath because he didn't realize it was her and not Bayshore he was hunting. (I have SO MUCH angst in store for them)

They agreed not to let their friendship interfere with trials, but that doesn't mean Caleb feels any less guilty when he spears her or has to hook her. And it doesn't mean Zarina doesn't worry for him when she can tell his leg is giving him trouble and he keeps missing his shots because it's slowing him down. 

These two love to bicker back and forth. They have their own nicknames for each other they like to throw out, too. Zarina frequently calls him "old timer," to which Caleb is quick to quip back with one of the names he keeps in rotation. (Jackass, numbskull, and dimwit are along the lines of what he'd call her)

Caleb asks her a lot about modern day technology and how much the world's changed since he left. The first thing he ever asked about had been her equipment. Zarina was delighted to show him her camera and recorder and answer his questions about their inner workings. Those had both been easy to explain given the fact she had an on hand example. Explaining the internet and how it worked, however, was another story. 

If the killers and survivors ever were to escape the realm, I like to think Zarina would help Caleb adjust to the modern world. The mental image of her teaching him to drive and introducing him to the internet is very funny. I imagine she'd drag him into a cafe too, just because she loves them and wants Caleb to have the experience. He'd end up getting whatever she got because he trusts her judgment, but it would end up being waaaay too sweet for his liking.

More about the wrench thing: The wrench holds a lot of symbolism for me. Caleb's wrench was passed on to him by his dad when he was a young boy, so to me it's a symbol of his youthful innocence and his potential as an inventor. He lost that wrench when he was taken by the Entity, quite literally leaving that part of him behind. BUT Zarina finds that wrench when she goes to his old cell and she gives it back to him in the realm, freeing him from the Entity's manipulation. She's the one who brought back that forgotten piece of him and helped to restore his humanity. 

ANYWAYS, enough with my chains of hate ramblings and on with our regularly scheduled program.

Susie and Joey

These hcs come from my friend @s-b20. I've pitched in with ideas here and there because Joey's my favorite Legion member, but she's the Legion Expert™. So huge thanks to her for letting me include them. <3

Susie and Joey were more friends by association than actual friends, but their younger siblings and being a part of the Legion helped bring them closer together.

Joey's little sister was best friends with Susie's brother, so the two knew each other long before the Legion ever came to be. They often ended up chaperoning their siblings' play dates when their parents were too busy to take them.

Susie helped Joey watch his sister and did all the 'girly' things with her when it was just Joey watching her while his mother worked late into the night. She gave Joey's sister a lot of her old toys from her childhood that she just couldn't bear to part with until then.

Frank and Julie weren't too interested in video games, but Susie played with Joey whenever he asked. She was pretty bad at it, but he appreciated how much she tried for him. Maybe he purposefully lost a few times, or maybe it was because his controller "got jammed" as he liked to claim whenever it happened, but seeing the look on Susie's face when she won was well worth losing his winning streak over her.

Joey agreed to teach Susie to play video games if she'd help him with his art. So when she wasn't learning the different combo moves and how to use them, Susie was leading sketching classes with Joey. She patiently worked through the steps with him and showed him the tricks she learned over the years.

Susie found out why Joey wanted to develop his art skills when he shared his ideas for an original video game with her. He opened up about it after she found him working on a design for one of his characters. She received it so well that he started asking her for feedback on his designs and sharing his ideas with her.

Joey was the one who taught Susie how to scale walls when they would do late night vandalism with Frank and Julie.

Joey helped Susie let loose and come out of her shell. He was much more patient with her than Julie or Frank and made sure to not push her too far too fast.

The first time Joey ever stood up to Frank was when he went too far with Susie. He privately confronted Frank after he made a series of comments over criticizing Susie's style and outfits (most of which she had made by hand, upcycling the clothes herself) and told him to knock it off. They came to blows when Frank put in that Susie was being too sensitive (Joey has a strict "talk shit get hit" policy) that ended with Frank getting his ass handed to him and the two of them not speaking for a few days. But when Joey had finally hyped Susie up enough to wear one of her outfits again, Frank's comment on how nice it looked seemed to resolve things.

While Frank and Julie enjoy the chaos of the realm, the fun of it quickly faded for Susie and Joey. Neither of them could believe it when they found themselves missing Ormond. The bland, boring everyday life of home seemed like paradise compared to the hell they found themselves trapped in.

They're each other's confidants in the realm. Both of them harbor the same resentment towards Frank for being trapped in the Entity's realm (they realize they played their part as well, but it's easier to hate him than have to reflect on their own actions). It's a frequent topic in their venting sessions, as well as their regrets over how things played out and everything they took for granted back home.

Me and her are super excited for the upcoming Legion comcis! I might end up adding onto these in a other post with more hcs later once we've read them. (BHVR PLEASE LET US KNOW JOEY'S LAST NAME I BEG)

Kate and Jeff

Their desire to help their fellow survivors is what brought Kate and Jeff together. They coordinate all kinds of activities outside of trials like story nights, impromptu concerts, and painting classes to help take everyone's minds off the stress of the realm.

Although they have opposing tastes, they both share a deep passion for music and love sharing songs with each other. They could talk about their lyrical interpretations of their favorite songs for hours.

In addition to music, they both love tattoos! They've shown off their tattoos to each other and explained the meanings behind them (which vary from sentimental value to aesthetic reasons, or, in one of Jeff's cases, losing a bet). Jeff's been working on the designs for the matching ones they plan to get when they make it out of the realm.

Kate still writes songs during her free time between trials. Some of her newer ones have taken on a darker tone as she writes to help process her experiences in the realm, and others carry a sense of nostalgia as she reflects on the life she left behind, but hope is still a recurring theme in most of her lyrics. When she needs help finishing a song, she'll pitch it to Jeff and they'll bounce ideas off of each other until Kate's finished composing. (Her darker themed songs stay private. Not even Jeff has heard or read them).

While they're a shining beacon of hope among the survivors, it would be a lie to say that their light doesn't flicker from time to time. When they find their own hope is running low or the pressure of keeping the teams' spirits high becomes too much, that's when they turn to each other for comfort. They're all each other has since they feel compelled to put on a strong face for everyone else.

Kate promised Jeff that when they get out of the realm she would commission him to do the cover art of her next album.

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[welcometogrouchland]

for the character ask, Willow and Amity!!!

Willow!

favorite thing about them: I love a lot of things about her! But for now I'll be a bit general and say her arc of continuing to get back up and prove people wrong. I wanna call it perseverance or strength, but it's more like stubbornness lmao. In the early episodes she's prone to defeatism and that's such a far cry from who she is now. She gained hope and belief in herself and leant into the righteous anger she felt watching people she loves be treated like dirt! AUGH I love her

least favorite thing about them: ooh not sure. Maybe that early episode defeatism? Both in an encouraging way where I want her to get back up but also in the sense of "GIRL THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT NOR THE END OF THE WORLD. TALK TO SOMEONE ABT THINGS!!!" You can see it a bit in for the future too where she interprets hunters ambiguous response ("I don't know") as negative. It's the warped self perception for me /j

favorite line: GRRR THAT'S HARD!! I'm not in encyclopedia mode rn but rn I'm thinking of some lines from Understanding Willow ("you said I was hurting Willow? I was just finishing what you started!" And "it's...a start"). uhh there's also "not if I never look down!" and "it'll be 52 weeks before Caleb's next day off"

brOTP: JUST ONE??? SHE HAS SO MANY GOOD FRIENDSHIPS MAN!!! But either her and Luz or her and Gus

OTP: sigh. Huntlow (I am predictable)

nOTP: her and Boscha. I wasn't in the fandom much during season 1 but I really never got it even back then. That is not a girl who's mean bc she likes you that is a highschool war criminal

random headcanon: OUGH I'VE HAD SO MANY OVER TIME AND NOW I'M BLANKING! Uhh would like magical girl anime (cardcaptor sakura and sailor moon specifically I think). Likes hyperpop and riot grrrl bc it releases her repressed rage and scratches her brain

Unpopular opinion: OKAY I get it. I also want willow to go apeshit, to have her catharsis and maim and kill. But some people characterize Willow as a lot more bitter than she is to compensate for this and I personally don't care for it, lol. It's Awful or anything it's just Not My Girl. She would not fucking say that

song i associate with them: CRIES. SO MANY!! Mona Lisa my mxmtoon

favorite picture of them:

^ this Dana pic!! There's more but I don't wanna make this any longer

Amity!

favorite thing about them: probably how far she's come from being a lonely, image obsessed girl who lashed out at others to a pretty silly but ultimately very emotionally mature person. She takes care of people more often now, while still having learned her lesson about respect and boundaries from labyrinth runners. Also her design/aesthetic

least favorite thing about them: bit wishy washy but a lot of the early season 1 scenes of her bullying Willow, Luz and Co are like. Hard for me to watch sometimes lol. Same with her and Willow in labyrinth runners. Mean girls just hit too close to home sometimes lol.

favorite line: ECLIPSE LAKE SPEECH HANDS DOWN!!! "There are people out there who won't make you feel worthless" SO PROUD OF HER. CRYING RN

brOTP: probably her and Willow since they have the most developed platonic relationship! But also her moments with Matt in for the future lmao (also Gus and Raine. In my head)

OTP: sigh. Lumity (I am predictable. Again)

nOTP: ooh I'm not sure I really have one! At least one that's based in personal squicks/opinions and not stuff like. Shipping her with men. If that's the case though, Amity/Hunter. Gag

random headcanon: she used to play piano as a kid! Was decent at it too even if she only got to play classical. But when she committed to abominations her mom cut her off of her lessons and pushed her away from it since there was no "practical use" for it anymore, not like Amity was going into the bard track. She gets back into it post-canon though :] would also like to jump off that starting point and play bass

unpopular opinion: hhh okay. While I think they could've made things more explicit/dwelled upon/whatever in order to communicate more clearly to the audience, I'm overall fine with the direction they took in Amity's "redemption arc". Bc like. She's just a highschool bully who's already being punished by her family when the audience can't see her. The solution to this would not be to punish her more. Maybe she should've gotten to talk things out more, somebody once pointed out that, in the main big redemption arcs in TOH, nobody really says sorry (ON SCREEN. Apologies are very much implied), just makes a gesture and does better, which I understand but also I like apologies they give closure. But overall I prefer them just giving her the chance to follow through on her promises.

song i associate with them: Babyface by fresh maybe?

favorite picture of them: I DONT HAVE IT RN BUT THE FACE SHE MAKES WHEN BOSCHA GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE IN FOR THE FUTURE AND SHE GOES "heh????" IT'S SO FUNNY

[1legitconnor]

Blog Introduction

Hello! I’m trying to use Tumblr as more of a platform for my writing stuff, so I decided to make a blog for just that to be separate from my more fandom/meme/generally all over the place blog that is my main.

My name is Connor Fitzgerald (he/him). I’m in my mid/late 20s. My default genre is fantasy, but I’ve been known to branch out into plenty of other fiction genres as well. My true base is the comedy genre, which has evolved to mean that most of my writing involves some level of trope de-construction. (One of my favorite things I’ve written was a tragedy because it was written to “parody” a comedy that someone else had written. More on that later.)

A lot of my writing in influenced by D&D, which I play very regularly as both a player and DM. So I do steal from myself on occasion if a character or storyline plays really well at the table or if I think there’s more to them then the game allows us to dive into.

A lot of the short stories and such that I post here will probably feature some of my OCs in unconfirmed canon or AU settings. I’ll try to remember to keep them tagged and organized appropriately.

I’d love to connect with other writers and readers on here as critique partners, accountability partners, beta-readers, etc. Really just the whole writing community experience.

Writing Prompt Stories

I’ve challenged myself to write at least 1 short story per month based on a writing prompt that I will post here and link below. I’ll also be tagging them under #writing prompt. I’ve compiled these below as well for easy access.

Unconfirmed Canon for My OCs

-Shipwrecked Villainy (featuring Caleb)

-Finding Home (featuring Caleb & Shelby)

-Plus One (featuring Mallory & Alifras)

-The In-Laws From Hell (featuring Caleb)

-For Our Future (featuring Caleb & Shelby)

AUs for my OCs

-A Stranger’s Smile (featuring Abigail & Tessa)

-Retired in Peace (featuring Alifras, Amara, and Joy)

-A Minor Inconvenience (featuring Alifras, Lyla, and Joy)

-Heroic Oversight (featuring Joy, Amara, and Lyla)

-Android Affections (featuring Abigail & Tessa)

-Culling of the Clones (featuring Marcus)

-Survival of the Strongest (featuring Marcus)

-Fisticuffs (featuring Marcus)

-Tyrannical Redux (featuring Alifras)

Other Stuff

-Unfamiliar

-The Salesman

-Space Bards

-Invasive Maneuvers

-To Justify the Means

-Leveling Up

My WIPs

My current WIP is a high fantasy that is in the late phases of editing and which I am planning to grow into a 9 book series. The book is called “A Legally Mandated Adventure.” I don’t have a set name for the series as a whole yet. All the same, I think I’ll be talking about this one under the #the winning play series tag. Because the first book in the series is inspired by a one-act play I wrote in high school that ended up winning my school’s annual play competition. (I also named it the Winning Play shortly after I had started writing it because I was a cocky little shit. (But I was right, so I guess it was justified?)). If I post excerpts from my WIP, I’ll try to remember to compile them here:

-Dialogue Scene 1

-Excerpt 1

-Excerpt 2

-Excerpt 3

WIP Summary:

“A Legally Mandated Adventure” is about a young man, named Timmy, who learns that his grandfather’s will dictates that he must go on an adventure to prove himself worthy of his inheritance. His grandfather, who is still alive, will accompany him, as will his grandfather’s lawyer, to make sure the terms of an adventure are met. Along the way, they find friends, enemies, and (wouldn’t you know it) adventure.

Writing for a Visual Medium

If you’re at all interested in seeing where I first started writing, here is the sketch comedy group that I was essentially the head writer for in high school. Also on this channel are 3 short films that I wrote and directed in college. (Not everything on the channel is written by me, but much of it is. Send an ask if you have questions, I guess.)

A lot of my current strengths I think can be seen in the fact that the first several years of my writing journey was meant to be for a visual medium. If I can humblebrag here for a second, I think my dialogue and staging is pretty solid on the page. The things that I need to think about more actively in my process are descriptions since when it’s for video or stage, I don’t need to really describe past a reference point of what I need to look for from a setting/prop master perspective.

You can also definitely see the evolution of my writing style (specifically comedically) from the early more ridiculous stuff to trope parody bits to the short films which actually tell a full story while still getting into more subtle trope de-construction elements.

(If you’re wondering what my favorite thing on this channel is, it’s this 7 minute short film. It was a direct parody of a romantic comedy someone else had written for our school’s film festival the previous year. Like a reverse Airplane. I wrote the script in a single all-nighter and shot the first draft and it turned out EXACTLY the way I had imagined it, which isn’t easy when you need to shoot around class schedules and have no budget. Huge props to my friend who played the main character as well because he absolutely crushed that role.)

[shirtlessfelix]

I have zero idea if your requests are open, I hope that they are...

My boyfriend just broke up with me, and I'm feeling really down, can you do something with the reader getting drunk or something and admitting their feelings for Leon? I've become a simp for Leon again, since the re release for dbd. It's okay if you change it up! I don't know your guidelines and I hope this doesn't go against them.

They're open! You can see that and my guidelines in my pinned master post for future ref :) But I'm sorry to hear about your breakup :( Hopefully this will make you feel a little better <3

Drunken Confession to Leon

659 words

While the Entity is mostly unforgiving, Her killers aren't always as rugged as they appear to be in trials. Caleb doesn't mind leaving the saloon unattended in case anybody needs to unwind; he needs to more often than he'd like to admit. The saloon is something you take advantage of when you're worn down, but you go alone most of the time since the quiet Glenvale atmosphere helps you relax. Several servings of the Entity's bitter drinks later, you're enjoying the woozy feeling in your head.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath as your mind wanders back to the campfire, to Leon's face illuminated in the light of the flames. A smile tugs at your lips at the thought of him that warms you more than the alcohol does. Part of you hopes that he's thinking of you too, but you know he's probably out being heroic like he always is, saving somebody else or wrapping bandages around their torso. Another swig, another warm feeling in your chest that makes you wish even more that he were here with you.

And suddenly, it's as if the crows heard your thoughts, as a flock of them fly up in the distance. You lose your balance when you try to stand up to see who might be coming, and to your shy excitement, it's exactly who you were hoping for. "Oh, Leon, what brings you here?" you ask with drooping eyes, words slurring together. He laughs and tries to sit you back down, fully aware of what brought you.

"Wanted a drink for myself," he says with a smile and walks over behind the bar where he pours himself something sweet and sits with you. "Why, should I go back?"

"No, no no no, stay with me," you insist, grabbing his wrist that sits on the table and swaying in your chair, completely oblivious to the implications of your advances. When you don't let go, he asks what you're doing in a playful manner, and you lay your head down and tell him, "You have pretty hands."

Leon laughs and looks at his other hand, holding it freely in front of his face, and asks, "You think so? I don't know, they've roughed up since I've been here." You smile and sit back up, resting your chin in your hand, staring at Leon with adoring eyes that you'd hide if you were sober, but you're so lost in his that you don't realize.

"Don't look at me like that," you say lightheartedly since his eyes won't leave yours for a second either. Immediately, his cheeks go red, but you chalk it up to him being drunk already even though he's hardly started his beverage. "Leon, can I tell you a secret?"

"What secret?" he asks back softly. You lean in close to his ear, taking your hand from his wrist and holding it beside your mouth so nobody else will hear you even though nobody else is in the saloon.

"I really like Leon," you confess to him, forgetting for a moment who you're talking to. "Don't tell anybody, okay?" Cheeks beet red now, Leon pauses and stammers out any kind of meaningful response.

"But you just—"

"No, shh, don't tell him!" By now, you're giddy and absolutely shameless, growing more and more tired by the second. Leon suggests that he help you back to the campfire, and you agree, letting him walk back with you with his arm around your shoulder. If you weren't walking, you would fall asleep in his hold right then and there, but being so close to him is something you want to be awake for whether you're aware of it or not.

When you return with him, he sits you down and brings you some water away from the group so the noise doesn't bother you too much. Before he goes to join them, he whispers, "Leon said he likes you too."

[princessamericachavez]

I am, again, thinking about Fjord’s protectiveness and where it’s rooted. 

Like, I already talked about Jester’s POV and how on her side it’s probably nice to have someone nurturing and protective step up their game for her and allow her vulnerability and give her a safe harbor... but I wanna talk about it in terms of Fjord too

Because, look, we know that Fjord never had a family or a home before —even though they are both things we know he actively craved and values so much— and the closest thing he ever had to getting these loving ideals was ripped away from under him by Sabien. And he was powerless to stop him. Like all of his life, he had no control to intervene or protect what little he had. 

So, yes, of course it makes sense that Fjord is hyperprotective of Jester. She’s the person he loves the most in the world right now. She is both home and family to him —as are the rest of the m9, don’t get me wrong, but he does feel stronger for her than he does for anyone else and that also translates into more protectiveness. It makes perfect absolute sense that Fjord is protective, like a zealous knight, like a guardian watcher, like he’s protecting the most precious thing in the world —because Jester is that to him— but he still risks taking it too far. If he is not careful, if his actions are motivated by fear rather than love and understanding, he can fuck it up (and I find that fascinating). 

Last night’s scene was a perfect example for that. Jester steps up towards something that could probably be dangerous and Fjord’s immediate reaction is “No. I can do it. You don’t really- Maybe not you.” Because, fuck it. It’s Jester. He loves Jester. And Jester’s had a pretty shitty time in Eiselcross so far so of course he is immediately stepping in and saying “i’ll take whatever damage comes, but please not you this time” which isn’t even new or rooted in the fact that they just kissed, okay? These two have a very clear “as long as you’re safe, the world could burn” vibe that could very easily go to very dark places. “Just don’t turn evil to me” and “I don’t care about 200 people, I do care about you” come to mind, plus every time they’ve protested when the other puts themselves in danger... like Fjord intervening when a plan required Jester to get too close to the laughing hand or Jester complaining and calling after him everytime he pushes a button or walks into an illusory wall and out of their sight... So this is to be expected from them, it’s fine. It’s part of their dynamic 

But Jester is an adventurer, too. She isn’t some dainty princess that needs Fjord’s protection at every turn. She is, first and foremost, his partner in crime. And so, she argues: “I’m really strong, Fjord” (and what a joy that they can argue and disagree so soon after kissing and yet later cuddle and be alright because they are friends). And Fjord knows she’s right. He knows she’s making sense. He knows that they get in and out of danger all the time and that Jester is extremely capable and powerful and strong (and has expressed his admiration for this traits of hers multiple times so if anyone wants to shit on him over this, I will fight you —and direct you to a bunch of video compilations to prove my point—). So, he knows. HE KNOWS. And yet, he stumbles over his words as he tries to mend it and justify himself. “No, I- yeah- There is- there is no doubt. S- Sure.”

Because Fjord knows he’s not being logical. He’s just afraid. Afraid to lose her, to fail her, to have to watch as everything is yanked away from him again. 

And while it’s a completely logical reaction from his side, I think he’s going to have to deal with it. He’s going to have to face his fears and accept that he can’t control everything, not even when it comes to protecting those he loves —this has always been a struggle for Fjord, think about the post-Iron Shepherds arc— and accept it’s okay. It’s part of the deconstruction of toxic masculinity he’s already on the road for, and it’s part of the vulnerability he’s been slowly working on... and I think he just needs someone (my money is either on Caduceus or Beau or even Jester herself) to talk to him and reassure him that he doesn’t have to hold on to this for dear-life... he’s not alone, and his friends (Jester very much included) are capable of defending themselves —and him. 

He just has to let go of his past trauma (and this is PTSD 101 so I do hope people cut him the slack they do for other nd characters like Caleb) and begin to heal those emotional scars. I’m so excited to see him grow this way in the future. The character dynamics and emotional bits are surely going to be delicious. 

[heniareth]

I was tagged by @scribbledquillz for this ao3/fanfic author meme. Thanks so much for tagging me! Now, there’s only one thing (I’ll explain as soon as I answer the first question). But first, tags. I’m gonna tag @yukichouji and @the-iron-lion because I know you write and post, but I also know you’re busy, so please, only do it if you want to and have time ^^ Apart from that, if anybody who sees this wants to give it a go, consider yourself tagged! I’d love to read your answers, so feel free to tag me back

How many works do you have on AO3?

So, here’s the thing: I’ve never posted anything I have written XD One day, I will, but until then, I’ll answer the questions I can answer to the best of my ability ^^ I’ll modify some questions and keep the original ones for anybody who wants to answer those.

What’s your total AO3 fanfic words count?

123.211 words total (not counting one absolutely massive collaborative fanfic that I’m not gonna count rn)

More under the cut!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Funny thing: thanks to this question I’ve rediscovered like ten folders with the beginnings of different fanfics I’d not opened in years. Thank you, @scribbledquillz for making me find my old writings! My main work rn is a Dragon Age Origins retelling (featuring Astala Tabris of course, though I have decided that the other origins--Surana, Amell, Brosca, Mahariel, the whole gang--also survive because yes.) I also have two separate unfinished pieces on Caduceus and Caleb of the Mighty Nein (Critical Role) respectively. Equally unfinished are one fanfic with Loki and his Jotunn heritage, and another about the extermination of mutants in the X-Men universe prior to X-Men: Days of Future Past. Both projects were ambitious, but exist mainly as ideas now. The longest (and oldest) fanfic I’ve ever written is a collaborative super self-indulgent self-insert fix-it fic for The Hobbit. I am quite proud of my younger self for pulling through with this one and sticking to it over such a long time. It is, sadly, also unfinished.

Do you Would you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I would definitely respond to comments. It’s polite. I’d also want to mirror back the joy a comment has inspired in me.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The X-Men fanfic ends with the events of X-Men: Days of Future Past, which (spoiler?) means all the characters were going to die. But it’s okay because the movie fixes that ^^ But generally speaking, I’m not big on angsty endings. Angst is fine anywhere else.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think it has to be either the The Hobbit fanfic or the Dragon Age Origins retelling. Characters I strongly identify with tend to get the happiest endings. Oh do I ever wonder why that is so

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve never written a crossover, but I’ve read some really cool ones. There was one featuring the Mighty Nein in the Undeadwood setting (both by Critical Role) that I wished had gone on longer bc it was so cool.

Have you ever recieved hate on a fic?

One of the good things about not posting anything: you don’t subject it to judgement ;D

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have... never finished writing a smutty scene.

One day. One day. Zevran might be the push I need, who knows

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Another one of the good things about not posting anything.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I started translating several of them myself! :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh yes! It’s an amazing experience. The creativity is squared. It is important though that all collaborators are on the same page about where the story goes, how the characters will be portrayed, etc. Especially if you give somebody your own OC or self-insert to write about.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

There are a few that have a special place in my heart. Shadogast comes to mind, or Percy/Vex (from Critical Role). I love the Zevwarden ship because it’s a story about allowing feelings and romance and being stronger because of them (at least in my mind). I’m scared of what Fenris/Hawke might do to me when I get around to play DA2 XD

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitely the The Hobbit fanfic. It is a glorious mess, and from time to time I go through the documents again... but it’s just a really big project and my collaborators are busy

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Banter! I love it. I absolutely adore it. I make it way too long but it’s so much fun. I’m very much character driven I think, which is also why fanfic is so appealing to me. Actions speak louder than words, but characters shout through a megaphone. I also like pairing dialogue with very day-to-day, down-to-earth actions (like folding laundry). I feel like it allows me to convey so much more about the caracters than only through the words they say and the dialogue tags of “he said, she whispered”. Another thing I consider myself strong at is worldbuilding and generally keeping the practical things in mind. If it’s autumn, it’s probably gonna rain, the ground will be wet, they’ll sleep poorly and that’ll be reflected in heightened tempers and therefore more drama in the next scene. The fact that in canon a town has a harbor will have impacted this character who was born there. I like the details and puzzling the pieces together to make a world really come to life XD And, last, I have also recently learned that I write best non-chronologically, and to just write it all out and edit later. It does wonders to advance a project

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I hardly write any at first. I normally see scenes very clearly in my head, but I... don’t communicate it XD I’m so character-driven that I kinda forget about the rest. I also tend to get too bogged down by the mundane? The fact that I like to play around with details of the worldbuilding and have it all make sense means I’ll write that scene where they break up camp even though it... doesn’t really add anything to the story apart from the fact that it happens and they indeed do break up camp. Things that I should tell, I show. It reflects in my wordcount.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! I find it really interesting. I might even listen to the spoken dialogue via Google trnaslate XD The only reason it might bother me is that there’s just no elegant way to integrate the translation into the text on AO3. In a normal book, I’d go for a footnote, but in AO3 and with my chapter length, I won’t make anybody scroll down, read the translation, and scroll up again.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first ever fanfic before I knew what fanfic was were things I wrote age 11 with a friend about the cowboy stories this German late 19th century writer Karl May wrote. We were obsessed with those novels

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I gotta say the Hobbit fanfic. It was melodramatic, it was self-indulgent, it had everything. I remember staying up with my friends way into the wee hours of the morning discussing how we’d save Thorin and his nephews from certain death and why Kili was so obsessed with Tauriel after talking to her once XD

And here we go! Thank you so much again for tagging me, this was a lot of fun (and it makes me want to post something. Maybe the Dragon Age Origins retelling will make the cut? I do hope I finish it in the next months)

[gaawachan]

Caleb, Trent, Trauma, Abuse

So, three things before I start.

The first is a trigger warning.  I’m not saying anything explicit but I don’t want to hurt anyone.  There will be statements on abuse (emotional, physical, sexual), trauma, avoidance/deflection, etc.  Please don’t read this if you think you might find it harmful.

Secondly, I don't consider myself even remotely qualified to talk about this but I'm concerned because I don't see people examining it much, and I think it's important.

Thirdly, here are some time-stamps from CR2 and Talks Machina that I will be using in this post: CR2 40: 2h35m - Caleb indicates that Fjord should "do what he has to" with regards to Avantika. CR2 41: 2h30m25s - Fjord and Caleb talk about Avantika CR2 43: 2h37m16s - "This is going to be very hard for Fjord"  "he has compromised himself" TM C2E111 - New Homes and Old Friends: 53m20s - "Caleb understands that he was abused and manipulated." TM C2E111 - New Homes and Old Friends: 1h26m45s - "it was subtly encouraged, suggested, or baked into them" that the Blumentrio were to use sex in the name of empire. I believe there was a previous Talks Machina in which Liam stated that Caleb was trained "to be charming" and maybe that there was an occasion where he didn't think that weaponizing sex was a big deal but I can't find those.  If someone can find that I'd like to add it to this post.

...

Let's talk a little more about Trent, Caleb and the Blumentrio, trauma both stated and unstated, and abuse.

I have seen a lot of people say that Trent Ikithon was mostly emotionally manipulative, treating the trio as if they were special and therefore he wasn't "overtly" physically cruel or abusive.  I think that this is a deeply flawed understanding of how Trent goes about abusing people.  Certainly, Ikithon starts with "you are special even as you come from the unwashed masses," "I will make you strong so that you can serve the empire you love," "the pain I cause you is for your own good," etc.

However, this does not boil down what he does to being purely emotional manipulation- that is the means to the end of forcing the children to be complicit in their own physical and sexual abuse.  Let's use what we know of the Residuum mutilation to examine how it is that Trent treats the Scourger children.  I am of the opinion that even without manipulation, the things Trent made them do were things that children are not really capable of giving informed consent to, so when I use the word consent, keep that in mind. 1. Trent frames everything he does as being for them and the empire, simultaneously devalues their roots while uplifting their work, and after doing so gets the children to "consent" to do what he wants- in this case, physical mutilation of their bodies. 2. However, in the event that they withdraw their consent, he ignores them.  We know this because of Caleb's nightmare of being strapped down wherein his explicit withdrawal of consent was disregarded.

The Residuum implantation in and of itself is a gross violation of bodily autonomy, and it always had an element of "does this remind you of anything?" baked into it.  I think Caleb's very obvious trauma with respect to how he obtained the Residuum implants is indicative of how Trent "taught" them in general.  First, he gets them to agree via emotional abuse.  Then, if they wavered, he forced them to comply either through physical restraint or magic.  And of course, the longer they endure this, the more compliant they get over time, be it with respect to his direct abuse of them, or his having them abuse others (a little bit of torture, a little bit of murder).  As we do not have the full details of the sequence of their training progression, it is difficult to say, but I am quite sure that Trent used the same methodology he did with the Residuum to break the three in BEFORE he had them start victimizing others.

On the statements and behavior of Astrid, Eadwulf, and the Rosohna Scourger.  The Rosohna Scourger was interesting because she did not mince words about what the training had done to her; her heart was "beaten out of her." Astrid and Eadwulf, being in their mid-thirties, are outright terrified of Trent, with both of them desperately avoiding confrontation at the dinner in different ways: Eadwulf by keeping his mouth shut on most things that seem potentially unsafe to speak on, and Astrid by parroting what she thinks Trent would want her to say.  Interestingly, Astrid also did this when Caleb visited her earlier, suggesting that she has deeply internalized Trent's world view at least in some respects, but none of this has eased their fear of what Trent will do to them if they say or do something he disapproves of and one must wonder if it is punishment or modification they fear.

It should be pointed out that the scourger training even before Caleb broke consisted of active participation and experience.  The Blumentrio actively tortured people, they actively murdered people.  This serves multiple purposes: it breaks them down so they feel like they can't leave, it simultaneously traumatizes them and makes them think their trauma is invalid or deserved, and it desensitizes them and makes them more compliant.  It makes them feel like abusers, twisting blame onto them.  We can see this in all of the scourgers - "you don't know what I've done," "I am a disgusting person," "I'll go to work if I have to," "It doesn't matter because I wanted to do it when I did it."

Caleb is just starting to process the fact that he and his friends are victims, particularly with respect to the Residuum, but he ISN'T to the point where he is of this opinion with respect to the whole of their training and he still chafes at the idea of thinking in any way that would deflect blame for what happened from himself.  I think that there is no clearer example of this than Caleb's statements over the course of the series regarding sex and relationships.

Caleb's relationships with Astrid and Eadwulf were very obviously romantically charged.  During the MN's interactions with Avantika, Caleb encourages Fjord to "do what he has to" with respect to Avantika, but later seems to regret it, expressing concern for Fjord's emotional well-being.  Caleb also struggled for a long time with not being transactional and manipulative in his interactions with others, weighing the need to survive and fulfill his goals vs his desire to do better.  Caleb often makes flippant off-hand remarks about sex, and while it could be argued that this is just Liam/Caleb being silly, it could also be viewed as deflection.

I think that Caleb is currently in a state where he is just barely starting to come to terms with the abuse that was dealt to him as a child and that he was forced to participate in, and considering how damaging that trauma has been, it could be argued that the avoidance of admitting that there was (at best) dubious sexual aspects to his scourger training is an attempt to avoid pain.  I want to be very clear here.  Even if the Blumentrio did not even once physically engage in sexual acts/seduction as children during one of their "lessons" on how to complete their missions, the very suggestion that their sexuality is a weapon to be used in their work is sexually abusive to these manipulated teenagers.  Caleb recognizes that such a thing IS hurtful... when it comes to the adult Fjord.  Not himself.  But not addressing it is doing more damage; it's going to interfere with Caleb's ability to have healthy relationships in the future, and this is clearest in his dynamic with Essek.

I think that Trent overestimates how much of his own world view Caleb has internalized long-term, as evidenced by his brazen flippancy about Caleb's parents, but I fear that on this point, Caleb HAS internalized the idea that he should use his sexuality in such a way.  That THAT is one of the most deeply ingrained behaviors that Caleb slipped into after meeting Essek and clearly hasn't even begun to question or shy from is, I think, evidence in and of itself that next to the murder of his parents, THIS is the thing that Caleb will struggle the most to address about his traumas.  It indicates experience.  It screams of abuse.

It is obvious at this point that Caleb and Essek are attracted to each other, but they got off on the wrong foot right from the start.  Framing their interactions as doing "favors" for one another, the overt manipulation and the ease with which it is done is going to have to be addressed at some point if only to preserve friendship.  In order to do that, I think Caleb is going to have to face that aspect of his trauma, and I do not think he can do that alone.

I think the saddest thing about it all is that in-game, none of the characters seem willing to sit down with Caleb and have frank talks about his Scourger training and what it entailed.  To a degree, it's understandable; they're probably worried about hurting him by doing so, and they've seen him deflect questions out of fear of judgment, self-loathing, and discomfort.  But Caleb is already hurting and struggling to process his past by himself.  If the 8th floor is a sign of anything, it's that Caleb (like all people) is not going to be able to fully come to terms with his trauma by himself.  Worse still, I am concerned that if it ever does come up, it will be between Caleb and either Astrid/Eadwulf, and they will end up reinforcing the idea that it was "no big deal" to each other.

From a meta perspective, I worry that it never will be addressed at all.  The cast may not be comfortable with going there in detail; I already got the impression from Liam in Talks Machina that he was struggling to figure out how to phrase the sexual exploitation of the Blumentrio without it being too overt - "it was subtly encouraged, suggested, or baked into them" - as though he couldn't decide what was most appropriate to say.  And there has been no indication that anyone else in the group in-game even suspects such a thing.

I do fear that if Caleb cannot at some point acknowledge that his abuse is undeservedly hurting his ability to connect honestly with people that he is genuinely attracted to and, as Liam says, "wants to be with," he may not be able to maintain a romantic relationship.

...

Anyway, that's all I've got for now.  Here's a question to ponder.  Which character do you think Caleb should show the 8th floor of the tower to first?  If you could pick which characters Caleb would open up to with respect to his trauma, which would it be?  Veth?  Beau?  Caddy-kins?  Essek?  Also, let me know if there’s anything I could add to this to improve it. :)

[zersium]

Cloak & Dagger Update — Status and Future Plans

So, it’s been a while, huh? Read below regarding Cloak & Dagger’s current status, plus a more detailed breakdown of changes made to the first instalment, from a certain point of view!

Hello and welcome! Today marks Cloak & Dagger’s fourth anniversary (isn’t that just nuts?) so today I’d like to talk a bit more about my plans for the series, and to expand upon my answers to recent asks on the subject.

from a certain point of view, 2.0

Before you read any further, you can find the updated from a certain point of view here on AO3. The rest of this post contains spoilers, so if you haven’t read it be sure to do so! 

Below are my comments on a few of the changes I’ve made (which might clue you in on possible future events):

Conclusion of Anakin vs Obi-Wan ➤ Obi-Wan leaving Anakin whole was always something that I’ve stayed true to—suitless Vader is simply too good to resist—but this ambiguous approach to the conclusion of their fight is unique to the revision of the fic. At the culminating moment of their fight, Obi-Wan doesn’t reach far enough to maim Anakin, and thus Anakin doesn’t fall by the bank. This is something I believe could have happened in canon had Anakin been more in control of himself, as his fate here hangs on his ability to make the right call of judgement. In canon, he is unable to do so when consumed by the Dark, but C&D Anakin can sense the danger of his darker emotions, to a point where he knows to twist out of the way when he leaps. 

Obi-Wan’s Dark Side ➤ The ambiguity of my previous point lies with the hint of Obi-Wan’s own weakness, and the recollection of TPM. This aspect of his character is not something I initially thought to explore, but seeds of the Dark appearing in Obi-Wan’s most desperate moment is definitely plausible. Here is a man who has lost everything, who has been given an impossible task—and though he is a perfect Jedi, what is a perfect Jedi when there are close to no Jedi left? This is a recurring theme post Order 66—a Jedi’s place in the world without the Order—and that all begins here, in Obi-Wan’s darkest hour.

Caleb and Grogu ➤ Four years ago, Mandalorian did not exist. Yet, with the ever-evolving SW canon, and with my own returning interest linked in part to the show, Grogu’s existence was a point of particular interest in the context of the alternate Temple attack. Plus, I think Kanan is rad, and since the Ghost crew appears later on in “revelation”, well. (Another surprise sometime down the line? Perhaps!)

Padmé’s Funeral ➤ Anakin feels?? Hello??? In all seriousness, this scene is something I wanted to include as a way to expand upon Anakin’s emotional state, and the effects that the duress of the mission have had on him so far. C&D Anakin is a lot more in control of his feelings than in canon (and for this there’s a reason!), so he doesn’t succumb to acting on anger as a first resort. BUT, this transition to a hollow state is a lot scarier for him, as it forces him to further come to terms with the weight of his responsibilities in this assignment. Sorry, not sorry. Anakin suffering is in and of itself a recurring theme ;)

Closing Scene ➤ For readers familiar with the original conclusion to this fic, the ending on Anakin finding Ahsoka’s shouta is new! As you can probably gather, it’s for the same reason as above—TCW season 7 was simply not a thing in 2017, and since its release I could not stop thinking about the absolute desolation this scene portrayed. It’s a perfect cinematic conclusion to the era, and a perfect transition for this verse’s Anakin.

These are all the major changes I made that I’d like to touch upon! There’s a few more tweaks here and there, of course, but these 5 in particular I feel warrant a full explanation for those that would like to read it. 

The Future of Cloak & Dagger

Regarding the future of this series, for the moment I’m working on a revamp of the other published works ahead of starting any new ones. The truth of the matter is that most of these fics are pretty dated, and my writing has changed a lot over time. As such, there’s areas of the series that I’d like to restructure and new details I’d like to add for the sake of cohesion and an improved narrative. Evidently, this’ll take time, but I’d like to extend a shoutout to those who’ve stuck by me throughout and continue to do so—your support over the years means more to me than I can adequately express. 

If you’ve made it to the bottom of this post, thank you so much for reading through my ramblings! I have a lot of thoughts about these changes, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed the updated from a certain point of view. If you’ve got any more questions, or would like to share your thoughts, feel free to shoot me an ask!

[ghoularts]

Let’s talk about the future chapters and fates of some characters!

Oh boy so this is gonna be a long ass post but I just wanted to discuss things about the ‘war arc’!

First, I’ll start off with Hawks/Keigo Takami.

Status: Unconscious/Severely burned, escaped to the forest away from the mansion

Hawks has become quite the controversial character in the fandom. It’s up to the reader to decide whether they believe his actions was right or wrong. There is no correct/clear answer here. I won’t dive into any of that right now, instead I’m going to focus on what his arc holds in the future.

Since he hit his head on the concrete, he was knocked unconscious and could possibly go into a coma. (Because we know Horikoshi likes to drag things out when it comes to the possibility of Dabi being Touya.)

I do not believe Keigo will die. Especially now that he holds important information about Dabi. We also don’t know Keigo’s whole backstory yet nor do we know what really happened with Jeanist. The recorder he had got burned up with his jacket or was destroyed by Dabi in this panel:

You can see a little piece go flying from his hand just above his staples.

What I do believe is Hawks will die. His hero persona. Now that his wings are gone, the Hero Commission will most likely drop him just like that. Keigo will live on with the guilt of killing Twice. He really wanted to save Twice, trying to get him to surrender, only aiming to incompacitate him until, well... you know.

When Dabi calls him dirty, he doesn’t deny it. It’s probably going to impact him a lot when all this is over. The best direction for him is to have a talk with Tokoyami about his actions and break away from the HPSC. He should expose them since they groomed him as a child into a weapon, sent kids into a war, etc.

Personally, I’d love for Keigo to become a vigilante. It suits him much better at this point. I don’t think he’ll be able to regrow/regenerate his wings. There’s nothing left, plus he could only regenerate the feathers when there were his little stubs left. Also if you remember Endeavor talking about his blue flames it makes sense; “Carbonized cells can’t regenerate.”

Next up we have Tokoyami!

Status: Alive, slightly burned, escaped to the forest away from the mansion

I’ve seen many posts about how Tokoyami was brainwashed. This is simply not the case. The Hero Commission seems to kind of despise UA or doesn’t have all to that much influence with the school. Except for the time they didn’t want the cultural festival to take place (at least that’s what I remember). Many of the teachers have their own thoughts about the Hero Commission such as Midnight in the teacher’s conference saying that the kids shouldn’t be put in battles like this. Aizawa has his suspicions about the organization as well.

Tokoyami respects his mentor because Hawks taught him many things about his Quirk and gave him good advice. (“If you’ve got wings, you should spread them out and fly. Don’t be confined to the ground.) Hawks means a lot to Tokoyami so of course he’d come to his rescue. When Dabi points out Twice’s body, Tokoyami looks horrified. When flying away and telling Hawks he did the right thing, he was running on emotions and shock. His mentor needs medical attention and fast. Caleb, a translator for the manga, notes that Tokoyami drops his edgy tone when he says these things to Hawks. Tokoyami is panicking. He just wants Hawks to be safe.

Also, his experience/interactions most likely play a role in his thinking. These villains tried to kidnap him, kidnapped a classmate, killed multiple people and plan to kill many more, and attacked his class on several occasions. Why would he believe Dabi right away when Dabi has burned alive dozens of people, thugs and innocent heroes like Snatch, and is trying to actively kill his mentor and Tokoyami himself?

Again, I think Hawks and Tokoyami will have a talk after this and Tokoyami will have to question Hawks’ actions. Keigo will probably tell him something along the lines of ‘Don’t support what I did’ or ‘Don’t follow in my footsteps.’ Call me crazy, but there’s actually the possibility that the HPSC will take notice of Tokoyami’s power and the risks he took to save Keigo. They might offer him training to be a ‘special hero’ like Keigo was. 

Miruko!

Status: Missing arm/part of leg, bleeding severely, in Jakku Hospital

Oh man where we last left off with the rabbit queen herself was her bleeding on the floor out of energy. Endeavor cauterized her wounds so at least it stopped most of the bleeding. It is worrying to know that she’s still in the hospital when Shigaraki is about to wake up and destroy everything. 

Though I don’t think she’s going to die. Especially since that color page showed mechanical limbs in the same spot where she lost them. Horikoshi also loves drawing her, so let’s hope he likes drawing her enough to keep her alive lol. She’ll probably be in recovery for a while before resuming her hero work with her new prosthetic limbs. 

Endeavor

Status: Alive, in Jakku Hospital

Endeavor was taking on Nomu with Ryukyu in chapter 269. He is also in range of Shigaraki being in the hospital with all the other heroes. Many people believe he has huge death flags, but I seriously don’t think he’ll die this arc until we know what happened with Touya. Hawks might ask him about Touya if the black speech bubble was Dabi saying that he’s Endeavor’s son. This will both crush Keigo’s admiration for the flame hero and make Endeavor realize just how badly his abusive behavior affected his family. Perhaps he’ll go public with it? Or maybe the villains will use it against Endeavor one day and the public will turn on him? 

Gigantomachia/Kirishima/Ashido

Gigantomachia is truly terrifying. He could wipe the floor and completely wreck the heroes. He has finally stood up and will be on the move, heading in Shigaraki’s direction because of his ‘Master’s Scent.’ Since Shiggy now possesses All for One, Giganto will follow his orders.

What’s even scarier is that this guy was introduced way back in Kirishima’s and Ashido’s backstory. Which means those two could possibly face this giant. Kirishima wouldn’t be able to make a dent, but Ashido could wear him down over time with the exposure to acid. I’ve also seen theories floating around about him being Crimson Riot. So Kiri facing his idol?

I’ll touch more on other characters later (Deku, Shiggy, Dabi, Mic, Aizawa, Kaminari etc.) but I’ll tell you guys which characters I think will die:

Xless (I mean, come on, Shiggy’s gonna kill this man)

Crust (we have no attachment to him, plus he hasn’t been fairing well with the Nomu. Not to mention he’s near Shigaraki as well)

Anyways, what do you guys think? Have anything to add like other potential outcomes of their arcs?

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hawks’ performance review

So now that a certain super long arc or Hero Academia’s is finally done, I wanted to give 1 final review to the actions of easily it’s most controversial actor (which is an accomplishment to say the least); Hawks. Go over everything, get it all out, & use this as a way of resolving my thoughts on his influence on the arc.

A warning going in; while I consider myself a Hawks fan, I have no intention of going easy on him in the slightest for when he messes up. And spoilers: he didn’t do so hot. So if you’re the kind of fan who doesn’t like a fav getting smack talked, no judgement but this may not be the meta post for you.

Pre-planning:

Now despite my known opinions of his conduct, there is good to talk about; fittingly enough at the very start of the arc with his pre-planning. Hawks did do objectively excellent in gaining the needed information from the PLF and passing it along to his allies. This not only included locations & important dates, but base layouts and enemies of interest. Additionally: his recruitment of Jeanist, while using questionable methods (I still don’t know why he drew a weapon on him), did end up being quite a smart move. I honestly want to give him full marks...however, it was his idea to bolster the invading hero army’s numbers; an idea which became using child soldiers. His roll in that war crime, as well as another point of pre-planning we’ll discuss later, well be held against him; but hey, almost full marks in this category is still kinda good.

But we must also talk about his actual field work; which means we must discuss, one last time...the incident. The bad incident. The society damaging incident. The incident from which his carrier, his dignity, and his respect as a hero can never recover. That incident. This is where the good stops.

Field work/The incident:

See, for all that Hawks did his dirty deeds for the ‘greater good’ no good has yet come from it. The heroes he saved from Twice immediately had to go up against Gigantomachia (just as unstoppable, far more murderous), his actions inspired Toga to kill an old lady, and Dabi used him as evidence that all heroes suck actually. And on a personal level for him (which I do care about, as his fan, make no mistake); he killed one of his only actual friends, burned all his bridges out of the HC’s grasp, and paid for the fuel with his wings. Like, unless the HC drop him for being quirkless, he might be trapped now that he’s shown complete loyalty to their interests. In other words, the direct results of his course of actions were 100% devastating consequences.

Though to be honest; that’s probably how it should be, narratively. The murder of Twice was a failing on Hawks’ part on every level. 1) He broke one of the rules a hero must never break by committing murder. 2) He did this because he failed to non-fatally apprehend a villain, despite that being his job which he is the 2nd best at in the country. 3) Evidence suggests Hawks went in planning to kill Twice if he didn’t take his offer, and in during so let opportunities to apprehend him slip by (for example, by letting him get his last words in instead of retraining or knocking him out. This was before Dabi’s arrival). 4) As a result of his actions, his friend in need of saving died right in front of him.

A failure to save, a failure to apprehend, a failure as a moral guardian, and actions that are the complete antithesis of “Plus Ultra”. (Though I suppose is his defense, he never did go to UA.) While his fans like to portray Hawks’ actions as a “tough call” he made, the fact is that moral & professional failures like that narratively shouldn’t see results.  Any of these would warrant serious reprimands for heroes with 4-digit ranks or 1st year hero students; so for the no.2 hero to perform all 4 failures is unforgivable.

Risk Assessment Review/Was it actually worth anything?:

And see, I’ve been trying my best to keep track of what things would be like if Twice were alive, so I can tell you they haven’t seen results. Nothing major changes if Twice were alive. Despite Caleb’s “points,” Jin couldn’t clone super Shiggy without a chance to get his data, and it’s unlike he was able to clone Machia either given that he didn’t, so he wouldn’t have had a huge effect on proceedings. Likely, he would’ve chilled with Spinner & Compress ‘till capture. He wouldn’t have been able to escape Jeanist either if he was retrained properly (which he would’ve been, as Jeanist is actually good at apprehending villains), since his clones would break before putting any real strain on steel cables.

It’s only after Compress rescued everyone cold a case be made for how Twice might’ve changed things. But that case could not be made easily, as the events following Compress’ escape act were shaped largely by the whims of AFO. So...*shrug*. We have no idea if Twice would’ve been taken or left behind, or if he’d have been in shape to do anything if he was free to act. Though it is worth restating that Jeanist, like Hawks, had the skill and the quirk to counter Sad Man’s parade.

(And of course, all of these assumptions are made going along with the belief that Twice would be free if Hawks hadn’t killed him; which I believe to be a false dichotomy. The reality is that Hawks’ favorable quirk match-up against Twice should have allowed him to apprehend him had Hawks conducted himself as a proper hero. Oh and did I mention he keeps his wings in that scenario? Because he does.)

Conclusion:

Well I think my most surprising finding is that Hawks might actually have a good future in some kind of hero-adjacent desk job since he seems better at that kind of stuff than field work. His main strengths seem to be in long term planning, and secret communication. (Although he did also encourage a war crime, so let’s not give him too much credit here.)

But reviewing his hero work plainly shows that did not go well, to put it lightly. To reiterate his main 4 mistakes that would result in serious reprimands for 1st years; he demonstrated a complete lack of faith in his own abilities to carry out his duty as a hero, he resorted to immoral methods to make up for this, resulting in him not only failing to apprehend a villain, but save a friend in need of help. This resulted not only unnecessary deaths and societal damage they’ll be feeling for a while, but Hawks also might’ve ruined his life in all kinds of different ways.

Overall; yeah he didn’t do so hot, and it’s really changed my opinion of the character from before this arc (back before I was even posting, God this arc was long). I mean, I still enjoy him; but I do now think less of his moral character, and also now enjoy ripping into how bad he is at his job. Regardless, this is all my thoughts on the matter, so hopefully this is the last time I write meta about Hawks for a while...well except for the post I’ve been meaning to make predicting what the future & the HC has in store for him. (Although if that interests you...get comfy waiting; I’m pretty slow at these things.)

[cronni]

a three-act review about Compress on 294

[This meta, obviously, will have spoilers about the most recent officially released chapter, 294, from BNHA. Consider yourself warned.]

Another chapter that goes to the list of "big revelations" from this arc. The war is near it's end and, with everyone at their physical and mental limits, sacrifices are being made.

So I wanted to ramble for a bit about the main character of chapter 294, Mr. Compress. Talk about his possible death, his reveal, what it means for the future and his legacy towards the League/Shigaraki.

First things first, hi! My name is Kat, and I'm bringing to you my half meta-analysis half opinion-based-review about Compress, during chapter 294, on this makeshift imaginary stage. Take a seat.

Act I: it's in the blood

We had a lot of big moments during this arc. Some more expected than others, but still as important as everything else... Probably.

If you had "Compress bloodline/face reveal" on your bingo card, though, I need to congratulate you. And also ask where are your last braincells. You should find them (or you shouldn’t).

Great-great-grandson of the Peerless Thief, Oji Harima. Do you guys remember him? From Gentle's arc? I won't blame you if you don't.

(Just let's take a second to agree that he looks pretty cool. Another nice design, Hori.)

I feel like a portion of this fandom already saw it coming. Maybe since Gentle’s arc, maybe since Compress’ line during Dabi’s reveal. Or maybe you just looked at Compress and thought “this guy seems like the type to have a mysterious and important connection to someone”.

And yes, I do agree that we’re having a bit too much during the end of this arc, especially regarding the sequenced revelations (5 chapters, 5 reveals. Hori, please, calm down. Let me breathe). 

This reveal, however, is not meant to be a big surprise - not for us, not for the heroes.

It’s a show. Compress’ show. We’re not meant to be surprised, but excited. This is his big moment. His first big moment.

And probably the last. So let’s enjoy while it’s here.

(There’s a bit of talk that can be made about Harima and his true ideals - since this is being spoken by Compress so expect a biased opinion - and the parallels between him and Compress, but this would be more about Harima than Compress himself. Let’s focus on our favorite showman for now.)

Act II: a once-in-a-lifetime performance

We don’t know what his plan is, yet, but he’s reuniting the League so they can leave without him. He even gets Skeptic (hey there, I didn’t see you for like 2 chapters in a row, are you ok?) as well. However, Mirio, Iida, Nejire and Jeanist are still up and fighting (and we still have Bakugou and Deku around that could, maybe, do something. They’re crazy enough to try).

Whatever he plans, needs to be executed with precision. He already sacrificed enough. It needs to work.

Since not only he lost a part of his right side (+ a part of his ass, sadly), but a part of his left shoulder, left side of his torso and left leg are also gone, as you can see in the panel below.

(Thanks for pointing this out, Caleb.)

The whole chapter is constructed to make us enticed by his show. From the paneling and angle choices to the dialogue lines. It’s, indeed, a big show. We’re meant to sit and enjoy.

There’s still a whole discussion about Compress’ death - mainly about if it’s better for him to die here and if it makes sense in the first place (hey Compress, couldn’t you just have compressed yourself free? Why you did it with only a part of your body now?), but we don’t know about his quirk outside of what it’s shown. We never got the exact description of it.

(If I can give you my honest opinion about it: I don’t want him to die. I don’t think he should. His narrative ending now feels... Weird. But if he dies- Well, I’ll enjoy every moment before I have to say goodbye to him.)

Act III: after the curtains close

Well, so far I talked about the obvious. Time to put the theorist braincells to work (I don’t know where they are, but they’re working. Hopefully-) and think about what comes next.

For now, I’ll be talking about exclusively about the aftermath in which Compress ends up not surviving this whole Houdini-like show. There is still the chance of him surviving, but I feel like it’s more interesting to think about the what if he doesn’t.

And why do I think that? Because of the following lines:

(Couldn’t make a less obvious death flag, could you, Hori?)

During the story until now, Compress was never really in a spotlight. He had his moments in a more background role. But, more importantly, is the fact that even if only in the background, Compress was always there. 

Helping the League. Supporting them, so they could be able to achieve their dreams.

Now that he himself will probably not be able to achieve his, he hopes that, at least, Shigaraki can achieve Harima’s dream. Reformation.

However, we know Shigaraki’s (and AFO’s, by some extent) objective isn’t exactly reformation but more like... Eradication. And, honestly? I think Compress is very aware of it.

“From destruction, comes creation.” (That phrase is probably not the exact one, but you get what I mean.) For Compress, Shigaraki and the League (note that he separates the League from the Paranormal Liberation Front. An interesting choice of words) are going to change society.

Even if that means that everything needs to end so something else begins in it’s place. Something that, maybe, is better than what’s gone. Maybe.

Compress is a character that, from what we saw so far, was very liked by the League. Even Mr. Touya I-don’t-care-about-anyone Todoroki seemed to have some bit of respect towards him.

He’s going to leave a mark. As he should. After all, this is quite the show, isn’t it? It can be forgotten that easily.

some last thoughts

Another interesting thing (that I didn't put with the rest because it’s more unrelated) is that, if Compress dies, that makes Shigaraki holding an even bigger responsibility than before: not only he has Destro’s ideals trusted on him through ReDestro, but now he’ll have Harima’s ideals trusted on him through Compress.

And we still have Twice, Toga, Spinner and Dabi. Each once with their own dreams and ideas of a “better future” for them.

Let’s see what Hori has for the future of this story. This chapter brings a good breather after the past 3 chapters. I personally enjoyed it a lot.

---

Just a reminder that this is all based off my views and thoughts about the story. If you have something to say about it, feel free to do so! Also you can ask me anything about this as well :)

Like I said before, here’s more stuff that didn’t make into this post - Harima’s ideals, the parallels, the whole “could’ve Compress used his quirk on his whole body instead of only a part?” talk - because I feel like I’d go too off the road in this post. Maybe I’ll talk about it in the future. I also didn’t talk about other characters in the chapter since, you know, I wanted to focus on this beautiful magician instead ;)

That’s it for now. I’ll see you in the future. Be safe out there!

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

CR2E76-Refjorged

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE HAD EVERYTHING. WHERE DO I EVEN START?? This is gonna be a long one for sure.

The spontaneous Mead Pong game was so fun. I love how they all just went for that, and Caleb getting a perfect shot only when nobody was watching? Priceless.

They haven’t really done a heist w/ Caduceus. have they? Unless you count boarding that one ship, but I don’t think you can since that wasn’t a stealth thing. It’s weird, but that detail felt like almost a mark of how far the Nein have come already

I’m sure people have written a lot about this (I’d love meta recs if anyone has ‘em), but that makes me think about what may have changed about the m9′s path if Molly had stayed alive. Clay has been such a huge force in pushing the nein to do good in the world, and although he has plenty of his own issues, I think the fact that he believes in everyone’s ability to be good people has really had a huge impact. This may be a Hot Take, maybe I’ll regret this cause idk what Molly fans are like, but I really don’t think the group would have made nearly as much moral and emotional progress w out Caduceus. They would probably be at least a lot closer to crossing over that line into Bad People.

THE BREAD. This is another famous joke that I new existed, but had no context or knowledge for. I was so excited when I heard it come up! Caleb and polymorph is such a delightful combo. The dumb brain really lets him escape his misery I think, and he had such a gleeful face and relaxed posture for that whole scene.

“Last time we did this, you put a sword to my throat”. Whatta callback! Despite how much everything has changed, Fjord and Caleb still have this interesting intensity to their relationship. The moment when they start a mysterious blood ritual and Caleb’s accent confrontation come to mind. I hope we get more in the future about how these two interact in a more casual setting, tbh, because at this point I have a hard time pinning down their dynamic. The trust is definitely there now, and all the Nein obviously love each other, but in many ways it feels almost delicate? Like in the scene from this ep, I think both of them probably reflect on that day thinking they were in the right, even if they’ve moved on. Interesting stuff!

The reactions when Nott murdered that guard were so priceless. Little moments like that are kinda sobering reminders of how broken she is. Since probably the moment that Veth killed that Goblin leader with a vile of acid, she’s led a life that seems to have been very much kill-or-be-killed. Empire people aren’t taught to see Goblins as much more than kill-on-sight monsters, and in a self-defense situation Nott is so small that she would really have only one chance before getting overpowered. It’s upsetting and definitely bad, but I think it makes a lot of sense that her first instinct when panicked is to go for the throat.

Caduceus is truly such a dummy and I love him for it. The man knows two things: Death and People. Nothing else. Strategy? Never heard of her. High-stakes stealth mission with an important decision to make? “it’s always nice to see my friends :)”. 

Whats in the book they stole! We didn’t find out for the entire episode if I’m not mistaken! Caleb just gave to Fjord with some cryptic comments! Wtf kind of book isn’t useful/ interesting to Caleb? This is going to drive me insane.

The pack-rat elf lady wearing Reani’s crown finally was v sweet. She was a character that Matt seemed to hint at a lot of depth for. I wonder if we’ll ever get back to Uthadorn? I’d like to see her again

The dusts are also a bunch of npcs that I kinda wish we’d gotten more time with! The way that Matt had the whole family and their personalities mapped out makes me feel like there was a lot that didn’t get explored there. Clay has a tendency to minimize his own priorities and as much as it’s a neat character choice, I wish it didn’t mean that we see less of the neat stuff around his arc!

Fjord’s dream sequence had me tearing up. Matt’s writing is just so emotionally intelligent and deep. The specification that the Wild Mother can ease the pain but the wound will always be there? That hit me so goddamn hard. I love this character. 

If I think too much about what this sword-collecting arc means for Fjord I’m gonna start crying again. Here’s a guy that grew up unloved, with nobody that ever cared enough to give him anything. He was so recently convinced that the Nein only cared about him while he was useful. And what happens once he looses all utility to the group? They give him magic weapons, and circle around to protect him, and face down a fucking ancient white dragon, all just to get him a gift from the Wild Mother. What does that feel like to a man who’s never ever had a family before? Can he even really recognize the kind of devotion the m9 just displayed? I hope once he has a quiet moment he can do some reflection and appreciate how much he is just unconditionally supported now. I want him to understand that he is loved.

Beau and Reani! I did remember right! They are adorable and everyone’s reaction at the table was priceless. That moment had a neat meta-level feel to it w/ the addition of Mica as a guest character. I could tell she was feeling out if this was a role-play boundary or not, just like Reani was feeling out if Beau was interested. Beau going in for the kiss out of nowhere was also Marisha signaling “yes please bang my hot gay monk”. A perfect ending for a wonderful character!

Jester and Caduceus almost judgy convo was actually fascinating to me, because it kinda highlighted one of my favorite things about Beau in that she breaks the norms arounf sexualy agency that you usually see with female charecters. She’s an action movie protag, casually banging hot ladies and hiring sex workers, and she’s celebrated for it like you would celebrate that behavior in james bond! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a female character that does that before.

I could talk about Caleb and Nott’s conversation here for fucking hours, and I think I’m gonna actually do a whole separate post about it so this doesn’t get too long. Why is every interaction they have just the most poignant beautiful incredible moment ever committed to film?  What did the world do to deserve this? Nothing. We do not deserve them. 

Fjord getting his powers back and celebrating and the callback to Nott turning into a tiny Fjord and Eldritch Blaaaaaaayyyst returning and being wrapped up in seaweed and awkwardly objectified by Jester and Caduceus big goofy grin and all of it was such a joyful, hopeful note to end on! More than ever the Nein are feeling like a family, with all the wonderful messy things that entails, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m going to go watch Nott and Caleb and cry again.

[tmp-jatp]

Okay, so I have three that I really wanna know whatever you can tell me about them:

1) Ghosts at college - !!!!!! Tell me more, tell me more 🎶

2) juke the little mermaid au - YESSSS!! Gimme gimme gimme *grabby hands* 🧡

And 3) spy!alex au - HELLOOOO!!! I didn't know I needed this until now, but omgggggg 😍

I'll take whatever you can give me and I'll wait patiently for the fics 🥰 shskdhdjsksh

ahhhh ok so you picked some of them that will almost definitely never be finished (maybe i should move them out of my “wips” folder and into an “abandoned” folder of things i can recycle in the future...) but i’ll share some of what i have for each of them :D

ghosts at college - basically it’s a bunch of fluff where julie graduates high school and goes to college. there’s not a lot of plot, mostly it’s a few ideas tied together with fluff and one scene as well. anyway, julie lives in a dorm and her roommate, anna, slowly becomes aware that julie’s weird. weird things happen around her. sometimes anna overhears that she’s having conversations on her phone but when anna unlocks the door julie’s phone is on the table. reggie and alex are around sometimes but luke is there almost all the time. here’s an excerpt:

luke likes to spend all his time with julie even if they’re not interacting. he likes to be in the same room as her. he’ll be writing or humming or playing and she’ll be working on homework and only she can see and hear him but she’s got this little smile on her face

anna knows julie’s in love with *someone* but she doesn’t know who

sometimes anna heard talking through the dorm room door but as soon as she starts unlocking the door the talking goes quiet

one time julie and luke are having an argument about something. anna thinks it’s a phone call with the elusive boyfriend and she either walks away to give privacy or she opens the door and sees julie facing away, red in the face, yelling at air, her phone on the desk.

band cuddle nights on julie’s bed while anna stays out late or after anna is in bed/asleep. julie laughs at stuff they say. they watch movies on julie’s laptop without headphones and it kind of annoys anna but she puts up with it

julie will lay her hand on alex’s shoulder or curl into reggie or wrap her arms around luke when anna isn’t there or julie thinks anna can’t see her

julie is careful to not talk to air when anna is around

but she does take a lot of phone calls with her airpods in

that elusive boyfriend

hmm

and then julie gets sick (not angsty sick fic sick, it’s fluffy hurt comfort sick) and luke cares for her. that’s when he and anna “meet” for the first time. i have other more general stuff that i might recycle for some other fluffy canonverse post-canon stuff, who knows. 

juke the little mermaid au - julie is ariel and luke is eric. dirty candi and flynn are julie’s “sisters”, ray is triton. caleb is ursula. here’s literally everything i’ve written for it 😂

Julie wants to see the world, because anywhere is better than down here. Her mother was everything to her, and her dad is kind and loving, but he keeps pressuring her to sing again and it’s too much. Julie just wants to be free from that pressure. She knows he does it because he loves her, but she doesn’t know if she’ll ever sing again.

Luke doesn’t want to get married. He shouldn’t have to, yet, he’s only 17 for God’s sake! He just wants to play music and spend time with his friends. But his parents want him to get ready to rule. His coronation isn’t until he’s 20, he has time, but he has much to learn bc he’s avoided it until now and 3 years isn’t much time to learn all it takes to be a king. Luke also wants to run away. He goes sailing alone, to try and go somewhere away, he doesn’t care anymore. He plays music to himself with his guitar.

Julie sees him while he’s out there. A storm rises which he wasn’t prepared for. His boat capsizes. She saves him and brings him to shore. Julie is curious about him, and now that she’s seen the land, she wants to go there. The land is somewhere where people aren’t pressuring her to sing. She’ll be free there.

Julie visits Caleb who will let her be human in exchange for her voice. He wants to use it at his club, the place she’s been warned never to go and where only crooked people are. But it’s actually a pretty cool place. This one guy, Willie, is really nice to her, but so are other people too. Julie makes the trade with Caleb, she won’t need her voice anyway.

She meets Luke’s friends on land. They introduce her to Luke. Julie’s never experienced her hair being so light and fluffy and bouncy before, it’s incredible. Julie sees Luke playing music with the boys. She at some point sees her “wake up’ song that Rose left for her and suddenly wants to sing again. But she can’t, because Caleb has her voice. Something something, jolts, something something 3 days to true love’s kiss?

lastly, spy!alex au - this was from a prompt that will sadly never be finished (sorry, tiger). the prompt was: spy au, childhood friends, “you had no idea, did you?” and i tried to combine those and make it willex but i had had nearly no experience writing jatp at that point and i also am more of a juke person than a willex person so the fic just wasn’t vibing. but here’s my back-of-the-napkin pitch for you, copy pasted directly from my doc, if you’re interested:

spy!alex finally cracks the case he's been working on for years: the hollywood ghost club. it's an elusive black market that deals in the worst of the worst but it always changes locations. the moment he thinks he's pinned it down, the whole operation disappears like a ghost. anyway, he finally catches the ringleader, the infamous caleb covington. willie, caleb's sort-of assistant and alex's something watches from the sidelines, having been tricked by caleb into thinking that they were just running a cool club.

thanks for the ask, vi! i appreciate it <3 these fics will probably never ever get written in full but they’re fun ideas and not every idea can turn into a masterpiece. sometimes an artist just needs to sketch and doodle instead, and that’s okay. but there’s value to recording and saving your sketches and doodles bc maybe one day you can recycle them into something greater, or you’ll come back to them and be inspired to continue them or to create something entirely new. 

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[interestray]

it’s always a good moment when I see a critical role episode with so many things happening that my adhd can’t help but develop a mind of its own, so now that my hyper-fixations have stopped beating the shit out of me theres a couple things I wanna bring up most of it theory stuff and the rest personal things. btw its a long post be warned.

SPOILER ALERT- I’m talking about ep 117 of critical role and its a doozy.

 I’ve doing my recent posts in a different format and I’m liking it so I’m gonna use it here. btw I gonna mention some ship stuff I want to make clear I have no hate for any ships mentioned but unless I say I like the ship just assume I’m indifferent.

1. I gonna say I called it because even if I’m wrong about about future stuff I was right that it’s not just Lucien in that body, even if Lucien is completely right about molly as the group knew him is gone forever Molly (which I don’t believe at all) is still a fragment of lucien’s soul. now past that I do think molly as a conscious being is still in there and trying to connect with his friends. why? because theres this weird disconnect with how lucien acts communicating with the m9 from a far vs in person, in person it seems like he had his guard way up but when they scry or message him the barrier is lowered a bit I think when his guard isn’t up Molly bleeds into his actions and mind more. I personally see Lucien at being 130% whole because Molly grew into his own thing.

2. regarding my predictions for this episode I’m gonna give myself 2 points (with 1 of the points being made up of half points) I was hoping for flirting and I think we definitely got some version of flirting between Lucien and Caleb so I get a half point for that, not gonna lie I was a little freaked out (in a good way) how fast Lucien zeroed in on Caleb, I hope if things don’t go pear shaped we get to see those two interact more.

3. Personal thing I really wanted to smack Fjord and Veth for most of the episode like they both had moments of being rational (fjord more so) but for the most part i just want to slap them.

4. it was kind of hilarious to see how freaked out Lucien was of the m9, like there was a little of the bad kind of freaked out feeling I think it was mostly like how Ludinus felt meeting Jester. like poor Lucien he’s just doing his thing and suddenly this group of puppies imprints on him and follows him around poor guy. Seems like Lucien has so distrust towards the tomb takers with the whole ‘we are one’ thing, it seemed to be a recent development. I’ve seen people talk about whether the tomb takers/Cree will backstab Lucien I think it’s possible.

5. I think some members of the m9 have realized Caleb’s not doing ok, most likely from the corpse scene and him talking over Beau (bad caleb bad). what they do with this info is gonna be interesting I personally think Cad should talk with him in private maybe have yasha there as well (also hugs please someone hug the sad wizard man him and Yasha both need it).

6. personal thing I don’t understand jester x Fjord as a possible canon ship at this point in the story like i got it in early campaign but I think they’ve both grown and changed to the point where a relationship between the two would end quickly after starting (whether in tears or not). the only times I like seeing their romantic interactions is when Laura and Travis bleed through and at that point its nots really jester and fjord. again no hate you do you I just don’t understand the appeal.

7. I’ve not watched campaign 1 for a few reasons yet but I’ve done research on some of the bigger events one of which was Percy’s resurrection where Taliesin watched how everyone was acting to decide whether to come back or not. I think Cad’s whole talk about what the rest of the m9′s goals towards Molly/Lucien is first Taliesin’s way of deciding whether Molly will be a npc after this arc or if he picks up playing him again (this all of course depending on whether the m9′s stupid actions don’t get Lucien killed), second I think this is Cad’s way of deciding whether his “debt” is payed and if it’s time for him to leave. To be clear I don’t think this was the final decision I think it was the first step to see whether anyone could say they want their friend back and we had two (almost 3) say yeah they do so I think it was a good start.

8. I can totally see Lucien kidnapping some of the m9. this sounds weird but stick with me, it looks like the tomb takers as a whole have a few important spots missing in their mission like they (probably) have a blood cleric in Cree the goliath and halfing seems more strength based I’m not sure about the human and Lucien is filling spot of a little bit of everything. Lucien has already pointed out Caleb as being curious and smart so I think out of the party is Lucien steals any of them it will be Caleb, if not Caleb tho I think Yasha could also be one that gets his attention (especially if Lucien ever sees them fight) I don’t he would kidnap anyone unprompted but if they go through with their stupid plan I’m sure he’ll want payback.

9. I get a full point for crying at both the Yasha clover scene and Molly’s card about Caleb. 

10. So my best friend is also a fan of critical role but he always works Thursday’s so he’s behind on actively watching the shows, but I can watch them so I take notes of all the funny, interesting, and weird shit that happens then I call when he gets off work to tell him everything that happened then we talk about what we think will happen next. why does this matter? because before the molly reveal when we first heard about them going to aore (I don’t know how to spell the ruin place) I said I had a feeling Essek would probably show up and run into the m9. well I was right so i’m supper happy, hearing floaty bois voice was awesome I hope Essek and Lucien meet at some point (hopefully not while trying to kill each other that would be sad).

11. Caleb’s eighth floor is so interesting like I hope we get to see all the rooms at some point, I think the room we saw this episode was his room at the asylum (mostly from it’s disarray and how drab it was) as for who he was talking to? I’ve seen a lot of people says its Essek or Astrid (I can smell the incoming discourse) I think it’s neither, it’s probably the simplest answer himself or more specificly Bren. I think he was talking to the Bren that spent years in that bed and chair wasting away.

12. wtf do you mean the big snow worm has a double reason for hunting the party Matt?! (I have no clue what that means).

13. the m9′s decision to try and get to A2 before Lucien and take whatever is there is such a shit idea, why did he kill Vess because she was a traitor she betrayed him what are they m9 about to do betray him even after the warning about straying from the path (which btw I think was molly warning them). If they actually go through with this plan I hope Cad is right on Lucien getting amused at them instead of fucking pissed. good news is that even if they get there before Lucien they could still salvage the thing with Lucien by saying they wanted unbiased answers. I get they’re grieving and in a bunch of pain but use the common sense I know you have and learn more about whats happening before fucking it all up. (also I get half a point from Lucien kicking Vess’s body)

14. I will say I mostly loved this episode (except for the ending) but them talking about possibly scattering Lucien to get Molly back no matter how brief did unsettle me a lot. no matter my feelings about Molly this is Lucien’s body when he was scattered molly did have the right to the body so I don't think any of his actions were wrong or bad but now that Lucien is whole again his bodily autonomy should not be violated just for a unsure chance Molly would come back. As it is Lucien seemed already uneasy and annoyed with stuff molly did (ex-tattoos).

15. I originally wasn’t gonna put this point but I think I should. when Taliesin said “he thought they would be on the other side of this” I think most people thought it was in reference to how it seems like Lucien is evil (I still don’t think he is) but what if he meant Molly’s arc. think of it wouldn’t it make sense for Molly’s arc to focus on his past coming back to meet him what if they always intended for Lucien to become whole again and it was suppose to be Lucien’s thoughts/feelings bleeding into molly’s. but Molly died so instead we’re getting the inverse Lucien has to come to terms with his past as Molly and the people Molly left behind coming into his life. I think it would be a good arc him learning that you can’t run from or ignore the past no matter how much you want to it can and will come bite you in the ass. would also make sense why Lucien and Molly both have that attitude towards their pasts (you know other than being pieces of the same person).