#i will not reblog the post and argue with the op. i will not reblog the post and argue with the op. i will not reblog the post and argue wit

[vim-flam]

always kinda baffling to me whenever you encounter a post where someone's getting picked up on their rudeness online, and their response is just to be like, "free speech I can say what I want/that's the risk of posting on a public forum/and anyway I didn't think you'd see this, so actually I'm still right". like, Anything but "my bad".

I mean, I get it. usually this type of response is a way of trying to save face over the embarrassment of realising you probably came across harsher than intended/offended someone. if I just cover my ears and repeat "it's the internet, it's their own fault", then I don't have to think about how I was the one who could've handled that interaction better.

and I also get that, when putting your thoughts out into the wider world, not everyone is going to agree with them. and yes, not everyone is going to be polite about it. but don't you feel like you need to take accountability for your Own behaviour, at all? come away from that interaction and reflect on being a little bit nicer and more understanding? realise that. altho it Was shared to a public forum, it was more accurately posted to their own personal space within that forum first and wasn't intended for you specifically?

[misspermitted]

I wanna say that I totally get Xuening’s decision to break Zhang Zhe’s heart. I would’ve done the same thing. She knows he’s going to let himself die. She knows hes breaking. She manipulates the situation the only way she knows how, and it goddamn works. He starts eating. He hates something else.

It’s tragic but call it fate or just personality, they’re not suited. She will ask him to compromise his morals more, he just wants peace, and all of it came to a crescendo.

[lottieratworld]

whats with ppl that reblog a post just to disagree with it completely in the tags. like not reblogging someone who reblogged with their own comment, just... writing your own rebuttal in the tags.... its weird....

[snoopyfan1283]

🧍 randomtumblrguy Follow

man does anybody else think this thing s ucks :/ lol

(REPLIES 🗨)

🧑 replyarguer

Um, NO? What is actually wrong with you? This thing doesn't suck at all. I think you're fucked up for even thinking of writing this, let alone posting it publicly.

🛀 squeakycleandisagreer

^^ Yeah, I agree with @replyarguer. Bad post, OP. You didn't even consider the reasons why the majority of rational people might like this thing in the first place?

🐼 panda-pwns-bad-posts

This thing doesn't suck. Maybe YOU suck. My gods, you are so stupid that it hurts. I'm going to lose so much respect for my mutuals if they reblog this post.

(REBLOGS ♻)

🦷 rebloggingperson ♲ the-reblogger-reblogs

#yup :/ it sucks lol

🩵 reblogspositively ♲ agreeableandy

#yup :/ it sucks lol

🧑‍💻 the-reasonable-responder ♲ reblogsgoodposts

#yup :/ it sucks lol

[athetos]

If you’re going to be a jerk and harass someone because you thought their joke post wasn’t very funny enough can you at least have the decency to not do it on my reblog of the post because I don’t know why losers think they can start fights with random people over literally the most banal shit ever in my notifications you’re just getting blocked.

[clouds-of-wings]

I would actually argue that great art accomplishes both - it is skillfully done and has some kind of deeper meaning. In that regard, the image on the left is perhaps a bad example since it "only" looks pretty (apparently, I haven't looked at a zoomed in version), and also the idea that art in general is somehow worse today is not true. There are people who make art that is both intelligent and skillfully executed today as well. But I suppose the meme is more about what is seen as "high art", what gets into reputable modern art museums, what the "elite" values. And the stuff that is stock-market traded and which I sometimes get ads for (link is in German but you can see the artwork and the current value, about 23k€).

I don't want to be mean about abstract art, but I really haven't seen any so far that sends any kind of deep message. The meaning that OP sees in the painting on the right is - forgive me - a meaning that could be found in any kindergarten level book. It's not particularly sophisticated or thought-provoking. I follow some contemporary artists like Herta Burbe and Erik Johansson (NOT saying those are the best or most intelligent in the world, but they appeal to me and are the first that come to mind since I see their work in my feeds a lot) who do representational art of different kinds and whose caricatures/photomanipulations, respectively, often have meanings that make "Things aren't always what they appear" look like the platitude that it is by comparison.

To me it's really hard to see anything particularly deep in the abstract or experimental art that is hailed as such. I don't say this as someone who's simply too close-minded to appreciate this art form, I hope, and I have explored my own emotional reactions to abstract art on my blog before (x), but visual allegory can only be as complex as the things that you are able to actually show visually. If all you have is coloured blobs, it makes it really hard to say anything particularly intelligent. If you have all the phenomena of the material world at your disposal, you can create much more meaning because you have more to recombine and play with. Then, the more skill you have, the better your message comes through and the more attractive your work looks.

An additional problem (maybe this is a bigger problem than the one I mentioned above) is that the more abstract your art is, the more varied will be the things that people read into it. Which can be a good thing, but at a certain point it's questionable whether there is still any actual communication happening between the artist and the audience or if everyone just reads something random into it that was on their mind anyway, like with a Rorschach blot. That would, once again, make it hard for that artwork to have any kind of message.

I would really love to be wrong about this because very simple-looking abstract art that ostensibly is super deep is of course popular among people who see themselves as modern art connoisseurs and/or scholars, but I haven't really found anything that disproves this viewpoint. Art is of course more than just an intellectual exercise, but since this is what this post is about and what OP claims is the point and the great thing about the painting on the right, I dare focus on this aspect for the moment and say - actually, from what I've seen, representational art tends to be far better equipped to make complex, interesting statements about life, and additional skill seems to also broaden the palette of what you can express with your art.

So somebody on my Facebook posted this. And I’ve seen sooooo many memes like it. Images of a canvas with nothing but a slash cut into it, or a giant blurry square of color, or a black circle on a white canvas. There are always hundreds of comments about how anyone could do that and it isn’t really art, or stories of the time someone dropped a glove on the floor of a museum and people started discussing the meaning of the piece, assuming it was an abstract found-objects type of sculpture.

The painting on the left is a bay or lake or harbor with mountains in the background and some people going about their day in the foreground. It’s very pretty and it is skillfully painted. It’s a nice piece of art. It’s also just a landscape. I don’t recognize a signature style, the subject matter is far too common to narrow it down. I have no idea who painted that image.

The painting on the right I recognized immediately. When I was studying abstraction and non-representational art, I didn’t study this painter in depth, but I remember the day we learned about him and specifically about this series of paintings. His name was Ad Reinhart, and this is one painting from a series he called the ultimate paintings. (Not ultimate as in the best, but ultimate as in last.)

The day that my art history teacher showed us Ad Reinhart’s paintings, one guy in the class scoffed and made a comment that it was a scam, that Reinhart had slapped some black paint on the canvas and pretentious people who wanted to look smart gave him money for it. My teacher shut him down immediately. She told him that this is not a canvas that someone just painted black. It isn’t easy to tell from this photo, but there are groups of color, usually squares of very very very dark blue or red or green or brown. They are so dark that, if you saw them on their own, you would call each of them black. But when they are side by side their differences are apparent. Initially you stare at the piece thinking that THAT corner of the canvas is TRUE black. Then you begin to wonder if it is a deep green that only appears black because the area next to it is a deep, deep red. Or perhaps the “blue” is the true black and that red is actually brown. Or perhaps the blue is violet and the color next to it is the true black. The piece challenges the viewer’s perception. By the time you move on to the next painting, you’re left to wonder if maybe there have been other instances in which you believe something to be true but your perception is warped by some outside factor. And then you wonder if ANY of the colors were truly black. How can anything be cut and dry, black and white, when even black itself isn’t as absolute as you thought it was?

People need to understand that not all art is about portraying a realistic image, and that technical skills (like the ability to paint a scene that looks as though it may have been photographed) are not the only kind of artistic skills. Some art is meant to be pretty or look like something. Other art is meant to carry a message or an idea, to provoke thought.

Reinhart’s art is utterly genius.

“But anyone could have done that! It doesn’t take any special skill! I could have done that!”

Ok. Maybe you could have. But you didn’t.

Give abstract art some respect. It’s more important than you realize.

[kiyomitakada]

i know its a classic. possibly cliche already. but i do wonder about Tumblr In The Death Note Universe probably more than i should

2 notes

💅 toxicbff Follow

if i see one more post attributing kira's powers to ~supernatural powers~ instead of the obvious fact that the cia is doing a coup I'm going to start giving You the heart attacks

💅 toxicbff

of course i saw the news how does that not prove my point further

the idea that all the police around the world could be mobilized by one single person is ridiculous (just look at this list of how many civilian militia there are globally)

heart attack victims don't seize the way "lind l tailor" did

i don't know how to tell you that You Can't Kill People Just By Knowing Their Name And Face because this is Real Life and not the newest grimdark marvel villain

people need to stop being scared of the ~bogeyman in the closet~ and wake up to the fact that usamerica is trying to take over the goddamned world

💅 toxicbff

im going to kill you all and nuke this website

#sayonara you weeaboo shits

2,925 notes

👾 lets-go-geeks Follow

DO TRUMP NEXT

🕵🏾‍♀️ penny-penelope Follow

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

16,375 notes

❤️‍🔥 lovesickened Follow

i know its stupid but im so fucking scared for my brother i heard that seven people died this week at the prison he's in and iinjust dont kenow what to do ihate him for ehat he did to mom but i never wanted him to die

#vent tw #delete later

0 notes

🏎 fastandyurious Follow

if i get a single more comment about why i don't tag "genderbend" on my kiratective fics i'm going to blow up the entire building. we don't know EITHER of their genders. why don't YOU tag your mediocre yaoi genderbend instead

🔆 sparkling-world Follow

…OP, you realize the news reports all consistently use "he," right?

🏎 fastandyurious

of course i do???? just because you see something on the news doesn't mean you have to believe it?????? they don't have any information on kira yet but i'm supposed to believe the fbi knows their gender already??????? also kira is literally a fucking girl's name my classmate in elementary school was called kira

🔆 sparkling-world

Kira comes from the Japanese romanization for "killer," it isn't gendered whatsoever.

Also, evidence shows the majority of serial killers are male, so I'd argue that the statistics favor the fujoshis here.

🏎 fastandyurious

well evidence shows that female serial killers are just more fun to write about and I'd argue that you're ignoring my fucking POINT which is that we DON'T KNOW KIRA'S GENDER and if people don't want to read lesbian kiratective they can FUCK OFF MY BLOG

🥚 i-offer-eggman Follow

I offer you an Eggman in these trying times.

🔮 I-stands-for-le-gay Follow

@lashitpostcalligrapher yo can i get "the statistics favor the fujoshis" on my tombstone

#fandom: kira rpf #ship: kiral #never heard it called kiratective before… #also uh. prayer circle for op's classmate lmaoooo

2,107 notes

💃🏻 modelingmadness Follow

BOYCOTT EIGHTEEN MAGAZINE

THEY ALLOW KIRA-SUPPORTING MODELS AND ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS MASSACRE

SOURCES HERE AND HERE (TRIGGER WARNING: KIRA DISCUSSION)

PUSH BACK AGAINST HEART ATTACKS

🧚🏽‍♂️ harubaru Follow

golly gee ^_^ suddenly i feel like taking to the high seas in a way that the eighteen company cant get profit from. oh no ! who left this link here

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

thanks for the link but jesus fucking christ man what happened to free speech. misa-misa's parents were killed by a burglar who kira punished. did you all expect her to just sit there, look pretty, and say nothing about it?

you people only like models when they're nice pictures for you to consume. you only like them two-dimensional and smiling and hot. the second a woman actually speaks her mind she's thrown to the wolves

💃🏻 modelingmadness

DID YOU NOT SEE MY BANNER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

#BLOCKED

140 notes

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

lol. lmao even

#they blocked me but whatever #official eighteen site just said misamisa wont be in the next issue #(eighteen sucks but i kind of want to use it more out of spite now) #so much for apologism huh? #god. i feel sick. #hasn't she been through enough.

1 note

🥷🏻 kira-imagines Follow

Imagine you're going home after a long day. Suddenly there's a sound. "Huh? Whose there" you ask, dropping your keys on the floor. Then you feel it. A knife pressing in your neck.

"Don't move kitten" Kira purrs behind you. "You're all mine now…"

#kiraxreader #kiraxoc #kira #kira rpf #kira investigation #kira fucker #kira fudger #kira lover #kira haters dont touch #kira haters please touch #kira supporters please touch #l

5,733 notes

asahi-the-student-deactivated201

Hello, everyone! My little sister told me about this microblogging platform (I admit, I'm a Twitter refugee) and that many of you are discussing the Kira investigation on here. I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts are!

💋 sunny-sayu Follow

let the record show he lasted like. a day

#i think it was the imagines that did him in #bro is so sensitive :p

15 notes

kiyomitakada

the world could be beautiful

[ @deathnotetober day 14: trigger ]

[solar-nightengale]

@lizardthelizard You wanted my thoughts, you're getting them 😏 Three and a half weeks later but you're still getting them ehehehe 😌😌😌 (Idk what to make of them so have fun with that word wall of mayhem)

August 2.18 | Zelena 3.16

[notaplaceofhonour]

I get significantly less hate online than I did in the year after October 7th and I wish I could attribute it to the hate just fizzling out, but I know that’s not the case.

here’s the things that have made tumblr more livable for me to deal with antisemitism:

anon is off. if you want to say something to me you say it to my face. plenty of antisemites are more than happy to be terrible with their full chest, but a lot of them are chickenshit. this filters out a lot of hate.

the block button is my friend. if I see something hateful, I block. if it’s overt enough (saying “I hate the Jews” or “the Jews are like XYZ”) I report it. I also sometimes go into the notes to see who’s sharing these hateful posts and block a bunch of them preemptively.

don’t reward them for being hateful. they want the engagement, they want the reblogs & likes, they want the persecution complex of “(((the zionists))) are after me”, they want a lolcow to milk; don’t give it to them. if you get in a back-and-forth with them, their followers will jump on you too. if you give the post any notes, tumblr will recommend more like it. don’t reblog unrepentant bigots just to dunk on them or convince them they’re wrong.

don’t be quiet about it either. it does help to still push back, if you do so strategically, in ways that make it unrewarding to get into a back-and-forth with. screenshot it, dunk tank it on your own post rather than giving their post engagement. I do this in one of two ways:

if there’s anything productive to say about it, use it as a learning opportunity. don’t try to convince op they’re wrong. provide a better argument for other people that will inoculate them against op’s bad arguments; save the vitriol & justified anger, just show them how op is wrong & give a more grounded answer so people can avoid falling for it. don’t assume motive. stick to the facts. provide receipts. (if op is too all over the place to make screenshots readable & you paraphrase their argument, only do so for brevity; don’t rephrase “what they really meant”; try to keep their phrasing & work from there to unpack it) (sometimes it works to reblog a bad response to your own post, if you can respond to it in a way that reinforces the point of your original post)

if there is nothing productive to be gained from arguing and it’s just a stupid, truly rancid take, mock the shit out of it on your own post. don’t reach, don’t put words in their mouth, don’t make it about who they are. just show what they said and make fun of it. if it’s stupid enough it’ll stand on its own. don’t do this with takes that are complicated to unravel; that’s what the previous bulletpoint is for.

don’t take this as prescriptive; i’m not saying “this is The Right Way™️ to do it”. but it’s my own internal guidelines for a strategy that’s working for me. feel free to use it if it will help.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

So, today I reblogged someone with "Jewish" as part of their user name, and I did not add anything to their post. This person was saying "You can be Pro-Israel AND Pro-Palestine because it's about human beings, not little dolls for you to play with." And, I thought this was a very succient way to explain the issue.

Literally not five minutes later, someone reblogged my reblog to argue that it isn't antisemitic to be against Israel because Israel is on land that should belong to Palestine.

Keep in mind: The person I reblogged from was NOT saying a fucking thing except that Israel and Palestine both have a right to exist. In fact, I have made at least a few posts from this here blog making the exact same point. That both countries have a right to exist.

But no one's ever tried to ride my ass on me saying that.

And yet, I reblog a person who clearly identifies as Jewish, and suddenly, oh, someone's got THOUGHTS. Antisemitic thoughts. Because the actual OP said Israel and Palestine have a right to exist, and this person turned it into "You're fine with Israel occupying territory that isn't theirs" which is literally NOT what was being said.

I blocked the person instantly because that's what I do when bigots show up in my feed. I wish I hadn't though. I wish I'd paused just long enough to reblog and point out how fucking antisemitic it is to see "Israel has a right to exist" and immediately turn it into how Israel as an idea and a country are untrustworthy and dangerous.

But I didn't. And OP turned off their reblogs, so I can't reblog the post and add this to it. But I'm adding it here. Because if you see someone say "Israel has a right to exist" and someone else immediately go into a whole little rant about how no, it doesn't, one of these people is a fucking bigot. And it's the fucker who said Israel shouldn't be allowed to exist.

[pissditching]

as much as i preach learning when to reblog posts on here i would argue learning when Not to reblog without having the op explicitly say "don't reblog" is equally important

[brenatto-apothecary]

Listen Ik I said I was going to step back from talking about c3 for a bit and I'm trying to stick to that but I will point out shitty behaviour. What is with c3 defenders obsession with reblogging posts saying that op is wrong, insisting that's fine, and then calling people doing the same to their reblog an attack!?!? What the fuck? Why do you get the special privilege of being able to argue with people but anyone who argues with you is harassing you?!!? I don't understand how these people are tolerated. If I see anyone, and I mean anyone, even people in my circles act that entitled, they get blocked immediately. C3 fans please please start holding your community accountable.

[syn4k]

if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM

🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow

oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys

9 notes

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?

🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow

OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

western mezalea?? lol

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

well that explains a lot.

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

Can I Help You

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

ain't emperor joel dating a fish

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????

#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry

11,798 notes

🌸 prismarined Follow

...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what

🦦 i-like-otters

yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7

#reblog

2 notes

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE

🐟 kelpieselkie Follow

I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit

237 notes

🐠 fishfucker997

this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg

🐠 fishfucker997

have you people never heard of references in your life

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio

🐠 fishfucker997

my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??

🐠 fishfucker997

they blocked me lmao

#how is this post only 2 days old

197,233 notes

🐪 camel Follow

she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear

elvfish-deactivated-20210503

who the hell let a camel onto this site lol

🐪 camel Follow

You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.

#911 i just witnessed a murder

87,546 notes

🌻 helantheia

anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0

0 notes

📷 desertphotography

West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria

2,307 notes

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Dune dashboard simulator

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🤖justice-4-machines Follow

friendly reminder that the butlerian jihad was an atrocity and violation of human rights :))

🌌spice-snorter2828 Follow

Tell me you know nothing about the Butlerian Jihad without telling me you know nothing about the Butlerian Jihad

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��imperial-bussy Follow

I know I know eat the rich and all that but have you SEEN Shaddam IV in his 20s????? we didn't stand a chance

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🐛shai-hulud-bignaturals Follow

🌏idont-likesand Follow

...fellas is it time for a second butlerian jihad yet?

🤺weirding-gay Follow

I'm crying didn't he literally purge his 30th planet TODAY?? you're sick

🦠 gaydi-prime-ribs Follow

ppl saying kill as if they could even if they tried lmao

🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow

"people are choosing fuck when he doesn't even fuck his own wife??? as if" skill issue. im here & im pegging him.

🧿realwormrider Follow

Okay in all seriousness this is fucked up. I know people cope in different ways but he is LITERALLY a dictator and a colonizer. People like you who make light of that is the REASON SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS!!! Maybe YOU haven't suffered at the hands of his holy war yet but ffs have some compassion for those who have

🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow

or you could just...block the emperor muad'dib tag?? the best you can do in times like these is curate your own life to the best of your abilities my dude

🧿realwormrider Follow

Or OTHER PEOPLE could just NOT SEXUALIZE DICTATORS!!!! Also - what about the WOMEN in his life who are currently also suffering because of him??? no love for them I see??

🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow

ok im gonna sexualize him though

🐛shai-hulud-bignaturals Follow

@/realwormrider make your own post why don't you

🏄‍♂️surfin-thedunes Follow

@/realwormrider wants to fuck him so bad it makes them look stupid

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💧freminomenon Follow

Sigh. some idiot brought a fucking shield into the Sietch. time to evacuate while a motherfucking grandfather of a worm demolishes it ig.

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🍝sandworm-spaghetti Follow

*reminds a kindergartener to use their indoor voice but they're the kwizatz haderach and use their Indoor Voice From The Outer World to yeet my ass into the maw of the Maker*

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🎆arena_girllll Follow

Once again because apparently this HAS to be said: REGULAR FETISH GEAR IS *NOT* GEIDI PRIME APPROPRIATION!!!! There is a world of difference between our traditional clothing and bondage stuff. I'd argue that insinuating they're the same thing or even similar is far worse. If you want proper examples of GP clothing my ask box is open, if you're going to "defend" a culture from appropriation get your facts from someone WITHIN THAT CULTURE for fucks sake

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💋tleilaxu-catgirl-meow Follow

Heard Thufir Hawat had to milk a cat to get the poison out of his body...not to be That Girl but hmmm could've milked me instead and I wouldn't be mad

👽simpin4sandworms Follow

Where's that guy who calls for a second Butlerian Jihad on cursed horny posts?

🐮tired-ass-bullfighter Follow

hate to break it to you op but i'm pretty sure this didn't happen and is actually just harkonen propaganda

not saying it couldn't happen though live your dreams

🌵bless-themaker-bless-hiswater Follow

by the Mahdi you people are dogs. i will reblog as usual.

🪐ix-the-tenth Follow

none of these words are in the oc bible

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🐀muaddib-did-nothing-wrong Follow

PAUL ATREIDES IS LITEARLLY DISABLED YOU GUYS!!! I CAN'T STOP YOU HATING ON HIM BUT ABELIST "JOKES" HAVE NO PLACE HERE!!!!!

🌺settler-of-kaitan Follow

...since when tf is he disabled

✋i-must-fear Follow

He literally has??? no eyes????

🌺settler-of-kaitan Follow

Ok but he can still see though

✨not-a-fedaykin Follow

sigh. not me being the one to explain AGAIN that his oracular vision is a disability aid, not something that erases it entirely. from what I understand he sees a couple seconds into the future by use of prescience, it's not the same thing as Actual Sight. (not a supporter, just someone with an unfortunate hyperfixation)

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🏞 caladan-fake-news Follow

Shame Paul Mudad'dib Atreides became a Spice-addicted despot bc I bet he would've made some sick podcasts if given the chance

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☢️blessthecumming&goingofhim Follow

THE MUDAD'DIB WAS AN IMPORTANT FREMEN SYMBOL *LONG BEFORE* YOU-KNOW-WHO . ME HAVING A MOUSE TATTOO DOES *NOT* MAKE ME A SUPPORTER OF P*** A****** OR HIS GOVERNMENT. I HATE ALL OF YOU.

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🪰 melange-maxxing Follow

soooooo apparently there's a stone burner on arrakis now :) if I don't post for a while its bc i'm on the waitlist for tleilaxu eyes fyi

💧freminomenon Follow

this post is 8 months old should we be worried?

✨not-a-fedaykin Follow

Not true op. pls stop spreading incorrect information without a source, you're no better than the people who claim they brought back duncan idaho

🌴fear-is-the-dick-killer Follow

ummmmmm they literally did bring Duncan Idaho back???? don't claim information is false when YOU haven't done your research maybe???

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♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow

Guys....I know I said I wouldn't do rpf but the new transcript of the conversation before Paul's ascension that just came out??? I'm tempted to jump on the threesome train and write Shaddam/Paul/Feyd-Rautha it's actually destroying my sleep schedule.

In this translation the term Shaddam uses to describe Leto I COULD translate to "honorable" but some say it COULD translate to something closer to "beloved"????????? I'm???

So it got me thinking...if..you know...he and Leto I....what would he think of Paul, his only living descendent? (and don't come at me with the "he's underage stuff", HE WAS 18) ahhhhhhh idk maybe I'm too deep into this but I wanna see the 3 of them together so badly 😭😭

♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow

OKAY OKAY I DID IT! I GAVE IN

Last Drop of Blood

Shaddam IV/ Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen/ Paul Atreides, 9K, Rated E [WILL CROSS POST TO AO3 LATER]

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🧿realwormrider Follow

@/shai-hulud-bignaturals told me to "make my own post" so here it is 🙃

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Irulan Corrino

(answer in tags bc my polls option got fucked)

👾shy-hulud Follow

your polls option getting fucked was a sign for you not to make this post

🌆lurkin-inthe-blackgoo Follow

Lmaooooooo as if she's any better she's the daughter of one emperor and wife to another. idc how much she's "suffered" by being married to mudad'dib she's still immensely privileged and a fellow colonizer. you are not morally superior for being horny about her instead of her husband lolllll

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🧠spice-sexual Follow

kinda want to fuck a guild navigator who's stopping me

💋tleilaxu-catgirl-meow Follow

^^^

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🧿realwormrider Follow

You thought this was fucking over?

Her Desires

Irulan Corrino x Reader, 12K

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♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow

Omg

I'm in tears of ???? joy???

literally my hands are shaking you never miss op 🥵

[nyhti]

Batman Rogues Tumblr AU:

Jervis:

-Joined Tumblr in 2009, has had the same blog all this time -Has a big follower count, but most of those blogs have long since been abandoned -Is very active -No sideblogs, everything from kink to cute animal pics is on the same blog -Has witnessed or been involved in every single major event in this site's history -Attended Dashcon (he was the one who pissed in the ball pit) -Involved in some sort of petty drama on a daily basis -Has a 20km long post of just going back and fort arguing with some random user. This argument started in 2016 and neither remembers what it even was about. He gets worried if the other person hasn't responded in a while. -Gets at least 3 callout posts a week. Always makes sure to reblog them and adds an essay underneath defending himself no matter if the callout post was about liking the wrong pony in MLP or murdering someone in cold blood. -Kinnie drama the likes of which you've never seen before -And in general just discord you never thought anyone could ever come up with -At this point you wonder if he's even having fun on this site, but he just keeps on reblogging bunny pics like it's nothing -Has a Wacom drawing tablet

Jonathan:

-Joined in 2011 after Jervis introduced him to the site -Has some really tacky theme he hasn't changed since 2013 -About a couple hundred followers, but they are very devoted. Lots of mutuals -579257405547 blurry photos of Nightmare -Post fics and essays on various topics he's been thinking about lately -Of course reblogs every single spoopy art piece he finds -Definitely does fic request -The most fucked up smut you've ever read -Like smut you don't even know is smut, because it's just that confusing -Most of his post don't get past 50 notes, but he has made a couple of post, mainly of the: ”Here's how you write x, y and z...” and ”As a Professor of Psychology, I can tell you...” variety, that have about 10 000 notes -Has a chill time on Tumblr -Only uses Tumblr on desktop. Has never even seen the app. -Completely unironically reblogs every cool skeleton on a motorcycle pic

Joker:

-Joined in 2013 -The only reason he joined is because he once came across a horny drawing of Batman and searching for the artist led him to Tumblr. -Starts writing a post, gets distracted mid way though and starts doing something else. Comes back to Tumblr 3 hours later, notices he was making a post, doesn't even bother rereading it despite not remembering what it was about and just hits posts. His blog is full of completely incomprehensible post that just stop mid way through -Makes a couple post that get so popular they are still making rounds today. They will always have additions like: ”I still can't believe this post was made by the fucking Joker” and ”Joker had a Tumblr?!” -Forgot his password a month after joining and never visited the site again. Barely remembers he ever had an account -Those true crime people still harvest his 20-post-pathetic-excuse-for-a-blog-blog for content to this day all the while completely ignoring all the rogues with still active (and better) blogs. They are saying things like: ”Ooohhhh, it's like a deep dive into his twisted mind :00” and are always trying to find some hidden symbolism and meaning behind all his ”just farted so loud it scared the neighbor's cat” kinda posts.

Eddie:

-Joined in 2011 -759752974576 sideblogs, 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts -When he's really low he'll post a poll like: ”Be honest, am I cute? Yes/No” and then has his 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts hit ”Yes” and somehow ”No” still wins. He deletes the whole post. -Posts the most obvious ”and everybody clapped” Tumblr fake stories you've seen. When he gets called out, he pretends you were supposed to figure out they were fake -Has an awful time on Tumblr, but can't delete, because he's addicted to getting notes -Always falls for every one of those post where OP pretends to be stupid on purpose (i.e. smooth sharks, putting fingers in guns etc.) -Posts riddles everyday that even his biggest haters cannot help but try and solve -Sends himself hatemail so he can post the witty comeback he just came up with. Forgot to hit anon once and people just won't let it go

Hugo:

-Banned for posting cock :/

[darlingofvalyria]

❝—Aemond, just shove your fist up my skirt!❞

part 02 | baby, all you gotta do is trust me

chapter summary:

[ Cregan is a menace in bed (sexily), Aemond is a menace on social media (derogatory), Helaena is a menace (lovingly). ]

[ 4,715 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— smutty beginnings, a bit angsty, mostly fluff - nsfw: p & v sex, orgasm denial, degradation kink, mating press - lemme just introduce you to firefighter!cregan stark ahe - toxic alysmond but both of them are at fault, fwb situations, fake dating, slow-ish burn - sad sack aemy is a pathetic meow meow - viserys i has a spank kink, no i will not elaborate further - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.

a/n— it's entirely my fault, i know. i made cregan too hot. aemond might be a bit op w/ his relationship with reader, but he & her have a comfortable past...soz. comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

There's this thing that Cregan does with his hips.

It's always that sweet spot when your legs are either over his shoulders or haphazardly splayed against his waist, wide open as he drilled into you like a miner trying to find gold (and he would argue that in fact, your orgasms are gold to him)—

There's that moment when he feels you clenching, when you're so close to the precipice of seeing heaven that the motherfucker of the North slows down, sweat-slicked and breathing hard, he slows down enough at the haze of you reaching orgasm where he just.

Produces waves across his body, keeping a slow, toe-curling momentum with his hips, body-waving his dick in and out of you in a slow but purposeful movement— and he's smirking down atyou're fucked out state growing irritated doing something for him.

And before you're truly out of that orgasmic state, about to curse his entire bloodline of ruined orgasms forever or push him off his own godsdamned bed and break his stupidly good penis, he's bracing himself against the side of your head, laughing— not meanly, just amused, the asshole —and asks, almost like he's just asking you for the weather, "Does the pretty little slut want to cum?"

And he's not really asking, because he's grasped your thighs, shoving you into a mating press, and having you see stars in seconds.

"You think my neighbours called 911?" he muses, fixing his hair while in front of the floor length mirror in his room as you lounge about lazily on his bed, already washed and dressed for your own shift at Meleys, sans your pants. That's still in the living room from where Cregan yanked it.

"Hm?" you ask idly, not really focused on the conversation as you scrolled through IG, rolling your eyes at Aegon's post; Hel's big brother was in Ibiza getting sun-tanned in the morning (as much as his pale as fuck skin could tan) and getting it down at clubs at night, liking it nevertheless.

"Your scream at the end there was so loud, I'm pretty sure you broke Mrs. Beesbury out of her coma." You look up at Cregan's menace of a grin, playful and goofy in his tight shirt and thick work pants for his shift at the fire station. "I might be expecting five jars of honey from Mr. Beesbury as thanks."

You roll your eyes at him, laughing. He always got like this post-orgasm; loose and goofy and prone to making the dumbest jokes. It's cute, and on a good day, it does it for you.

It's not like you don't find Cregan attractive. It's how you got into this FWB situation with him in the first place; the dark hair, the scruff on his face, the firefighter bod— and by the Seven, what. A. Bod — when he and his co-workers stumbled into Meleys two months back, seeing your former high school crush aged up and hot had you on your knees for him in the back alley faster than he can hold you from the roots of your hair and grunt.

On a good day, it's easy to see getting past the easy arrangement of sending emojis to alert you wanna get dicked down and him sending a tongue and a heart, sending memes just for the hell of it at random parts of the day— breaking the easy friendship, the nice arrangement, and see where it gets you two, with Stark. On a good day, you can be submerge in the what-if, cute couple-y scenarios and giggle.

But despite the orgasm that could shatter a septa's vows quicker than you can say 'Oh holy Mother', your good day was tentative, broken with a click.

Aemond had made his first social media post since breaking up (the latest one) with Alys.

A darkened bathroom with explicit, orange-glowed lights that covered most of his person but not the slick show of water, freshly showered, against his torso, his chest, his abs. Droplets clung in places one would imagine licking him all over.

You know that bathroom to be the one in his high class gym, one of his favourite places. Since the toxic cycle with Alys started, he frequented it more. Aemond Targaryen was a man of routines and sharp o'clocks, so you know this isn't particularly off-key for him. But the posing (mostly) completely bare with water on his wiry muscles?

"Oh, this whore." You can't help it, as much as it irritated you— because it is clearly a means to get it across that he is newly single without actually saying anything, you can just imagine his DMs firing up with notifs — you couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity.

Aemond Targaryen. Publicly posting a thirstrap.

As public as his social media can get, it's a private account with less than 200 people.

A call rings in your phone, Helaena's face flashing, and you're still giggling when she half-shrieks, "DID YOU SEE HIS IG STORY OH MY GOD."

Your gaze meets Cregan, his bushy, dark eyebrows firing upward upon being able to hear Hel's voice while you winced. You put her on speaker as Cregan giddily comes closer to the phone.

"Good evening to you too, Helaena," you say warmly, giving Cregan's arm a light kick, mouthing, 'Don't you have work?'

Stark had the audacity to shush you, pressing a finger against his lips. You mouth, 'Gossip.' In a mature response, he stuck his tongue out.

Truly a wonder that not twenty minutes ago, this man had you keening over an orgasm.

Helaena continues on, "— I've had enough of this. I already have one slutty brother, I cannot have another one. There can only be two sluts in this family and no more. And that backlit? Seven hells, the whorishness."

"Hel, babe, you are not a slut." You meet eyes with Cregan who waggles his eyebrows, pursing his lips in an air kiss. "Trust me."

Hel snorts. "I know that, I meant my father. The whore of Babylon got nothing on Viserys first of his name, spank king extraordinaire."

If you could simultaneously choke on air and saliva, you would. "Helaena Targaryen!"

Cregan smacked his entire face down on his bed and ate his covers to muffle his laughter, his body shuddering as he did his best. His ass did look good in this view.

"What? Stranger may have mercy on me, but I tell you, before he died and before their marriage imploded, and at times traumatically problematic, they sure did get it freaky when they could. They gave it a good run and traumatised me in the process. I shouldn't have insisted my room was that close to them, maybe I would have ended up being an upstanding citizen of the community."

Cregan flips up, giggles spilling him as he muffled it with his hands. You kicked him again, trying to keep him away from your phone lest Hel figure out where you were again.

"Helaena, my love, compared to your brothers, you are such an upstanding person of the citizenry, the mayor should be giving you an award at this point."

"Right? Maiden have mercy, how busy do you think your shift is going to be tonight?"

You bit your lip guiltily while Cregan smirked, standing up as he finished lacing his boots. Hel thought you had gone straight to work, making up excuses about trying out a new recipe for next month. "Um. Not sure? Probably not by much, it's a weekday."

You don't lie, not really. Cregan mouths 'liar' and throw a pillow at him.

"Good, I'll send Aemond to you tonight. I already told him yesterday and he kind of just made a noncommittal hum— praise hands for another traumatised child of Alicent Hightower who has his own brand of communications issues —" You can just see Helaena's hard eye roll, and you massaged your lips to keep your laughter. The first time you met Hel, you never would have thought she slapped-back self-deprecating jokes out of her pockets faster than you can think a response to the last one. She was sweet, kind, a floral, bohemian girl with her pastel lavender pants and daisy flower clips.

And then you met her, vibed, and there was a dark funny humour to Helaena Targaryen that you always fought just bursting out laughter at the most inopportune of moments.

As sweet and floaty as she appeared, she was a menace.

"— anyway, Mr. Social Whore is going there later tonight, I made him promise. I said if you don't tell me he didn't come, I'm posting every photo I have of him from his naked baby pics to pre-pubescent Teen Teeny-Weeny Aemond, I do not care."

You whistle. "Damn, Hel, okay, I'll tell you when he comes."

"Good. OPLAN Get Aemond Out of This Bad Track Before He Fully Becomes Aegon 2.0 has now commenced. I love my brothers, I truly do, but I can only handle one Aegon at a time. I cannot be scrolling through social media in fear for my life times two, bestie, I refuse." Hel's voice pitches. "I'll talk to you later, bye, babe."

"Bye, Hel!"

Before you could put the phone down, she calls out, teasing, "BYE CREGAN!"

Silence. Then Cregan laughs, calling out, "Bye, Hel!"

The last thing either of you heard is her tinkling giggle before she drops the call.

"Fuck," you mutter, call finished.

Cregan wolf-whistles. "She's good."

You throw another pillow. "It's because you kept giggling like a schoolgirl!"

"Excuse me, that was a manly schoolgirl giggle, I'll have you know." He picks up his keys, winking. "Come on, I'll drop you off at the bar before I pole dance the night away to my job."

You cracked, snorting through the mental image of Cregan Stark, Lead Firefighter of the Ice Wolves Division, shaking his ass on the pole. You pad to the living room. "I'll give you a dollar for your troubles."

"Cheap ass!" he shouts after you.

Aemond arrives two hours into your shift, a little awkward— no doubt remembering your silent judgment of him the morning of his post-break up affair as that has also been the last interaction you've had with him before this, almost a week ago, and now here, meeting you at the insistence (and plotting) of his sister.

Your eyes meet ice water blue. He freezes, then straightens up, giving you a shrewd tilt forward. A nod. It's jerky, mechanical. You roll your eyes, mouth twitching, before you motion him over.

You are already making his favoured drink starter, Sazerac, when he slides into an empty seat on the bar. Your back is to him, refusing anymore interaction, and you know the usual comfort he finds in the eased silence you provide is nonexistent.

Out of all of Helaena's brothers, you've always liked Aemond the most. You teased him it was because the others are Aegon, duh, and Daeron, still in high school and never really around you "old people", but it's also because it's so easy to be around Aemond. When Helaena introduced you to the tall, lithe man who hummed politely at his sister's introduction of you, you found him intriguing.

It's not just the scarred eye, or the pretty, almost marble-statue visage (because by gods, seriously. The Mother took her sweet, loving time crafting the fourth Targaryen, bloody hell— like those cheekbones? With that cupid's bow lip? Okay, Mother, you have your favourites, we get it), or that he tended to keep himself in the background, let everyone else stretch into the conversation.

He often dipped in and out of the social pool like a mirage; a trick of the eye. A nod, a hum— almost, always an answer to someone else's direct question or someone— usually Aegon — dragging him into the conversation with an anecdote needing an input, not matter how inane.

And it intrigued you.

You took yourself and your drink of choice at the time— a Shirley Temple — and sat right beside him. He looked up at you, that one eye of violet widening slightly because you had just. Plopped beside him, thighs touching, before he smoothens out his expression, shifting at your direct eye contact and small smile.

"Can I... help you?" he finally asks, thoroughly waylaid but trying not to appear so.

"The scar." You nodded to his face as he froze. "Tell me about it."

His face had been so controlled, so guarded, when he tersely said, "My sister didn't tell you?"

"Nope. It's not something for her to tell me, isn't it? It's a personal thing. Most scars are." You shrugged. "Even if they aren't, I'd prefer if you tell me. It's your body. Your body your story."

He stared at you for a quarter of a minute before he asked, "Are you drunk?"

"No, why?"

"You're too... forward."

You smirked. "I've been told. So are you telling me or nah, pretty boy?"

And he stared at you for a minute longer, or two, or three— the stare flickers to emotions so fast; shock, confusion, flatter, his own intrigue — before he told you about a stupid fight between children, about a stupid reason par another, and though his words had been concise, obviously keeping a hell of a lot more between vowels and tightened jaw, you don't press him. You let him talk.

At the end, you said, "Badass. Definitely less of a lame reason than what I was imagining, but 9/10 story. Your voice really sold most of it. It's good for telling stories."

In his brain, you could just see the click when his eyes flicked to his sister and back to you. Ah, so that's how they're friends. And he hums, truly, more than anything, stumped by you. And you smiled.

"You're definitely going to be my favourite Targaryen Brother."

It's no wonder then, that you two had gotten close. You had forced a friendship out of him, and the very unattached guy to literally anything new— suspicious of offerings, angry at pity, wary of kindness — had taken into it with a white flag.

So when the whole Alys situation happened, things shifted.

"Sazerac," you announce finally, placing the drink in front of him. He thanks you with a quiet hum, having stopped fidgeting now that you've acknowledged his existence. You raise your eyebrow as his sips turns to gulp, crossing your arms.

Just because you had promised Hel you were going to help him, doesn't mean you were going to make it easy for him. He knows you're pissed; despite the calm structure he had composed himself in, you can see the twitch in his fingers, the way his eye turned away from you the moment you refused to project your normal, warm aura with him.

He settles his drink down, watching the rim of the glass for a minute before he speaks, low and steady. "You're angry with me."

You snort softly. "Wonder why you think so?"

He sighs. "I didn't mean to. To let it get this... messy." He winces at the word, hating it.

You sigh. "Aemy." He comes alive at the familiar nickname, sitting straighter, a relief on the edge of a cliff. "Honestly, I don't give a shit. You want to be trapped in this mess? You don't want to listen to other people tellign you, 'hey dude, maybe no?'"

He winces, remembering the third time he and Alys had broken up. The police car, Aegon vomitting, Hel crying. It makes you roll your eyes.

"Sure, have at it. Have fun, in fact. There's only so much sympathy I can give you for seeking out the problem that you know is a problem before I get tired. Before I stop giving a shit, because there's someone else I love that is starting to get hurt by it. I can only love you enough as much as you are willing to help yourself." Your eyes then narrow, half-glaring into him. "But what I'm truly getting angry about is how much this is affecting Helaena."

"I understand." He sighs again, calling your name but you raise a hand.

"Hold on, I have a bone to pick with you."

"Okay."

You look at him. A second. He waits. And waits.

He speaks up. "Yes?"

You sigh. It's hard to stay mad at him, you've always found so. "I don't know. I had paragraphs to say to you in front of a mirror, but now that it's you I'm looking at, everything just went away." Under your breath, you mutter, "stupid pathetic meow, meow face."

His mouth twitch. Ah. The familiar Targaryen smugness. Pinch Cocky Aemond is back. "Did my face distract you too much, ñuha riña my lady?"

You roll your eyes, unable to hide your own smile. If you called him Aemy, he called you the High Valyrian, his ancestral tongue, my lady. To tease, to establish comfort. You've always liked this better, being closer to Aemond than despising him for his stupid choices and big feelings he has a hard time unraveling, so he makes said stupid choices.

It's ease, it's familiarity, and you both fall into a high step.

"Okay, nerd, so what did Hel—" A customer calls you. "—One sec. Sorry about that, what can I get you? Ooh, nice choice, alright give me a minute." As you pulled a measuring cup and gin, you nod back to Aemond. "What did Hel tell you we're doing exactly?"

"That you're helping me... with Alys." A hesitance. "I know you don't like her—"

"— whoa, hold up, Aemy, I like her. I like her very much. I think she's a bad bitch, absolutely sexy, and clearly, she has good tastes which I respect her for." He had the good graces to blush, still sort of unused by the compliments you so freely give him. "What I don't like is how your relationship with her— here, hey, you're welcome! — has evolved. You were so good with each other, Aemy. And then..."

You mimic a sound of a crash and burn, and a tiny person screaming. He huffs out a laugh before sobering.

"I know." He sighs. "I don't... I don't understand it myself. There's a part of me that recognises I should walk away. And then there's another part that is just... it's Alys."

His palms, open and upturned, falls on the counter. Pensive. Begging. A confused, wanting penitent looking up at a god asking for direction. "I've loved her for so long." His voice quiets, like the words are sacred.

"I've loved her for so long," he repeats as if the words have worn itself out on his tongue, "it's hard to see past her. Ñuha riña, she has always been my future. It's all her. I don't know anything else outside of her."

You pour an Arbor Gold in a stemmed glass and pushes it to him. It's his favourite drink and he smiles at you, at the care, at the memories.

"I understand that," you say carefully. "And I already promised Hel I'd do it, whatever you need of me, to make her see you. But you should know that I'm doing this more for her than for you because... Aems, I believe you deserve so much more. A love that's exciting without it being harmful. A love that's pretty, as easy as breathing. One that doesn't hurt at the edges and pinches like a barbed wire."

"Is that possible for me?" he asks ironically, trying for a joke but you catch that lilt at the end. At that exhale. So much of his history had been broached by pain, borne from it. There are injuries that run so deep, they continue to bleed.

"Honestly?"

He places the wineglass down. "Yes."

You smile. "Yes."

You don't know if he believes you, or if he just indulges in your starry-eyed view of his future, but he smiles nevertheless, as best as he can and murmurs a gratitude.

It's pacifying, insecurity. You let it go for now because there's nothing you can say to a person truly down to trust your words.

"You're going to do this, then?" he asks. "For Alys and I?"

You shake your head. "I'm doing this for Hel and no chores for a month." And you, to show you that there's more past a future that you and I both know doesn't exist anymore. That if you prolong it, ignore how deep the barbed wire has gotten into your skin, it'll be too hard to untangle it when you realised you've bled out enough.

So will you just wear the pain proudly after that?

You shake another order in place, pulling ice and mint. You raise an eyebrow. "I've always known I was going to help. Are you willing to do this? Honestly Aemy, this can go two ways. One, she'll realise losing you is the worst thing that can ever happen— truly losing you to someone else, or two, she thinks you're truly moving on from her. And that's assuming she even thinks it's real, like I mean come on, it's me and you."

He arches a perfect silver eyebrow. You had already asked him if he gets his eyebrows done, and apart from Helaena messing with him back in high school, has been all natural. You think he's lying.

"And what is me and you?"

"Aemy, come on. I'm your sister's best friend. We're like... I dunno, family? She's always known that."

"Doesn't mean she's never felt jealous of you," he hums, swirling his wine with pinch fingers. It's elegant. Entrancing. The red liquid swirls and there are knots and strain in his hand, going through his arm.

And despite the bags under his eye, he still looks so good. Silvery blond hair wrapped in a low half updo, the shirt that hid nothing of his muscled chest.

His words sink in, breaking you from the hypnotizing reverie of looking at a marbled statue. "What? She felt jealous of me?"

He smiles gently, a little bit cockily. "Ñuha riña. Of course she did. Just because she understood your place in my life, in Hel's, doesn't erase the fact that you're gorgeous and we get along well. She liked you, truly, but she isn't blind. It's nothing that you've done, even she knew that. You're just too perfect."

You blink at him, unable to stop yourself from blushing. He chuckles meanly.

"Shut up."

He exhales a laugh. "I didn't say anything!"

"You know what you did." You give him the stink eye before you serve two more customers, thanking at a pretty hefty tip from one of your regulars, bidding him goodnight as he left. It is a slow night, you didn't lie to Helaena.

You almost don't catch Aemond murmuring, "I've missed this. I've missed you. I never like it when you're pissed at me."

"Good," you joke. "So you can watch yourself better. But yeah, I've missed you too. So how are we doing this?"

"I thought you had an idea, having agreed to Hel's plan before I even knew there was a plan."

You roll your eyes. "Well, I've had a few ideas here and there... it's more your comfort I'm worried about."

He frowns, pouty lips pursing. "My comfort?"

You place your palms behind the bar and hitch yourself up by your physical strength. He leans forward, confused still. You smirk. "Well, Aemy, I'm wearing a skirt."

"I... I don't know what that means, ñuha riña." He blinks his one good eye. "Nice skirt? You look pretty."

You force a pout instead of getting flustered by the compliment out of the blue. "I forgot you weren't all that popular in high school."

"No need for insults," he deadpans.

You laugh. "We're going to make Alys jealous, right? It'll be too much to hard launch my new status of existence in your life when you just broke up... but... if we can allude, at least..."

"I-" His frown deepens, the skin on his other eye, the scar, pinches as you see his mind whirr and whirr where your mind was reaching. "I'm still confused."

"Gods, alright, I'll just show you."

"Dude, bro, just put your hand under my skirt—"

"Ñuha riña—"

"Yeah, you know what, godsfuckingdamnit, if I alienate you that bad just shove your fist up my skirt, yes, Aemond, just shove your fist up my skirt!"

He calls your name, tips of his ears beet red, as a few patrons turn to you two, bewildered and a little amused. You wave at them but you sigh noisily at him. You're sat beside him on the counter, your phone on one hand with the camera app open, and you're glaring at him.

"Are you seriously telling me you've never placed your hand on Alys' thigh?"

"Of course I have!" He lets out a strangled sigh and groan.

"What's the difference?"

"I've never done it so publicly," he explains as calmly as possible, as if he's talking to a child. "And with the idea of posting it for everyone else to ogle. I've always just done it... under a table. Or. On her knee..."

"You're blushing so hard, you look like a tomato?" You snort. "I'm your fake Alys now, and we're soft launching an intimate relationship. This is basic."

"You're not my fake Alys. You're not my fake anytihng and you're not Alys." he says seriously, frown sharpening into a point before he exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can't it just be my hand over yours?"

 You frown, forgoing the uncomfortable twinge from not my anything and not Alys. "Is this uncomfortable for you? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"It's not that, never that." He purses his lip. "It's the opposite. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my touch."

"Aemy," you say softly, smiling slightly. "I am giving you permission. Wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. And you touching me has never made me uncomfortable. Now, come on. Hand on my thigh, pretty boy, so I can take this pic and get the ball rolling."

There's a second more of restraint, of holding back, and before you sigh and suggest something else— maybe he is truly uncomfortable with you, with you not being anything to him, and not being Alys, but is too polite to say anything — he places his palm, warm and heavy, against your exposed thigh.

It's a... new sensation. You've held hands with Aemond before, smacked it a few times even, but it's different when it's on a more... well, when it's not on a non intimate area of your body. New skin, new nerve endings to his familiar warmth and crease.

It makes you swallow how big his hand is compared to your whole ass thigh. Thumb to pinky and he nearly swallows the gaps.

He really has pretty hands. Knotted veins twisting upward to muscled arms.

Both of you nestle in the quiet, just staring at his hand over your thigh.

"Okay," he says, voice even. He's taller than you, always taller even when you're both sat down, and he's closer to the top of your head at this distance, his breath flutters against your hair. "What now?"

"I... take the picture." You blink, shaking your head slightly, as you take his drink and add your hand within the frame so it looks like you mean to take a photo of your drink and not the glaringly obvious hand on your thigh, before you you angle it. You take one, two, three. A few different angles before you feel you've got a few nice ones. "Okay, done."

It feels cold when he takes his hand away, giving your thigh a soft tap before it's back on the counter. He hums.

You get back on the work, choosing one and posting it promptly on your stories. You place Meleys' location and a kiss mark emoji before you post it.

"It does look intimate," Aemond hums, observing the story from his own phone. "But why did you post it on your account and not mine?"

"She's your ex, Aemy," you say, hopping off the chair and moving back behind the counter. The world re-orbits. Everyone back in their positions, the lines clear. The planets move in their normal trajectory again.

"She'll know it's your hand. And if we post it on mine, it has more of an impact, don't you think? We're friends on IG. She sees it on my stories, a man's hand on her thigh, in a background that's no doubt a bar. The hand is sorta familiar. And you posted that slutty mirror pic earlier tonight."

He blushes, you smirk. Planets and moons orbit back, their pace slow, their lightyears fast. Best friend's sister. Sister's best friend.

"If she doesn't recognise your hand at first, your story will prompt it on her brain. It's not a hard connection, you've been together for years. It's a girl thing. An exes thing. Bingo bango, the brain is running. Surely it isn't Aemond's hand? Even if it is... is it truly romantic?"

He exhales. "You're... kind of an evil genius."

"Just kind of? Damn." And you smile because he laughs, the sound spreading warmth across your chest.

Yeah, this is better. It always feels good when you and Aemond are on the same team, when you're not mad at him and vice versa, no matter how stupid the reason.

Saturn rings snap, black holes sink and swim in galaxies so far, far away.

You put your phone on DND as soon as the first five notifs pop up, prompting a barrage of other notifications. When you took a glance at it, it's all a varying degree of 'WHAT THE FUCK', 'WHO THE FUCK', and 'GO GET THAT DICK, GIRL OMG!!'

Only Helaena's message matters, and it brings a smile on your lips.

 'Noice'.

Another ping.

'Also— what a bunch of harlots'.

You show it to Aemond and both of you burst in stupid laughter.

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