#i will never be independent or self sufficient. i will never be able to live alone. i will.never escape this place.

[queerlyglittering]

everything is fake, nothing matters, i will and should be alone for the rest of my life. what is the fucking point

[nightcolorz]

It only just occurred to me after reading one of your posts how devastating it is that the shifted timeline means armand just never gets to grow up and move on to his own adult life like the other boys because Marius owns him so he's just a whole ass adult stuck as Marius' "boy" while all of his peers get to grow up and have lives of their own 😭 I hadn't thought about that before but I i can't stop thinking about that

I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THIS!!!

I loooveee the implications of Armand growing into an adult but having much the same backstory with Marius bcus the implication he is that he is basically infantilized so throughly and deprived completely of an adulthood to the point where he is socially and mentally stunted and functions as he if was a boy who never grew up. Armand isn’t sent to university and given the tools for an adulthood bcus he’s Marius’s kept boy/slave, so as he watches his brothers grow into men he is stuck playing the role of Marius’s sweet little Amadeo, and is being treated as if he’s still that lost fifteen year old being molested in Marius’s tub while he’s growing chest hair and developing a personhood. I hope that amc includes Armand’s conflict in the book where he is insisting to Marius as he grows older that he’s a man who deserves respect while Marius deprives him of the chance to have that independence and self sufficiency, bcus ughhhh in this new context the image of Armand nearing his 30s begging Marius to see him and respect him for the man he is while Marius clings to him as his forever child slave is horrifying.

it says a lot about why Armand acts like that, the fact that he was as an adult forced to play kept boy and rely completely on his master to the point where he was never able to learn to live a life of his own before he was forced and tortured into a cult where he was taught to comply or die. No wonder he does horrible things that seem irrational and cruel to us!! He is like a forever baby taking his first steps. His perception of what it means to be a person and more importantly, what it takes to survive, is completely warped

[itgirl-111]

THE BEST MONEY AFFIRMATIONS (aka facts)

(this is gonna be the only money Affirmations you'll never need lol)

I am rich

I am financially stable

I'm secure in my financial state

Money is safe

Money is good

Money is here to stay

I'm a money magnet

I have the perfect money mindset

I have the perfect self concept on money

I love money and money loves me

Money is the easiest thing to make

I have multiple sources of income

I am wealthy

I genuinely believe I deserve a lot of money

I deserve a luxurious, comfort, fun filled, lifestyle

I am worthy and deserving of having lots of money because I exist

I get money everyday

I get paid to exist

I am worth every cent I get

I get money quickly and easily

People always have enough money to give me

People bend over backwards to make sure I'm getting paid enough

Nobody goes to sleep unless and untill they make sure I'm getting paid enough

Everyday I just make more and more money

Me and the people i love are rich af

My bank account never stops getting fatter

I am so rich i make Elon Musk look poor

I am so rich my hands are starting to smell like money

I wake up every day and go to sleep stress free knowing that I don't have to worry about money in my life

I am living wealthy and abundant life

I keep finding money everywhere

No matter where I go money always keeps chasing me like a lost puppy

If I were to count the amount of times I got a huge amount of money out of blue, I wouldn't be able to count it cuz it's too much

My fingers are starting to hurt because of the amount of times I counted my stacks and stacks worth of billions of cash ugh 😫

I have so much money in my bank account that the value of pi π looks small

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 7 OUT OF 7 days I get money.

12 OUT OF 12 months I get money

there's not a single day that goes by without me getting money

Any amount of money i spend comes back to me tenfold

I walk into a shop knowing damn well I could buy the entire shop if I wanted to

I have so much money I can use it instead of a toilet paper (jk i don't do that)

I have so much money I can make origami out of it

I have so much money I'd buy the biggest companies and still remain rich as fuck like?

I am the definition of LOADED 💵

I am independent, successful, wealthy, rich, self sufficient, financially secure, debt free, stress free, yep I identify with those things.

My notifications are flooded with me receiving payments constantly

If anyone is a FATASS it is my wallet

Money is so desperate to stay in my life

Every where I go even to the damn toilet I still can never escape from lots of money😔

Money keeps flowing to me like a river

My bank account digits are the most groundbreaking, immense, tremendous, huge, back arching, toe curling, digits ever known to human kind😞

If i spent a whole day counting my stacks of cash, i wouldn't be able to cause that will take atleast a million years...oops...😳

Whether it's expected or unexpected, whether  I'm happy or sad, sleeping or awake, working or not, money comes to me all the time and In all the ways.

[elysiansparadise]

Hi Elysian,

I'm so grateful for your posts! I gain so much insight and depth from your interpretations. I wondered if you could interpret natal Sun in the 1st house?

Thank you!

Hello love, I'm so glad you find them helpful in a way. And of course I can interpret this placement.

Sun in the 1st house

Life has taught these natives that the love that matters most is self-love. Throughout their time on earth, they have faced constant battles to find themselves again, to see love when they look in the mirror and to recognize their value. Many of them are attracted to everything that allows them to have a better notion of themselves, to find what things make them happy and to not lose themselves on the path to achieving everything they want. Endowed with great magnetism, charm and charisma, these natives leave their mark wherever they step, easily attracting attention, even if they describe themselves as introverts. They have a beauty that does not go unnoticed, from the fire in their eyes, to their striking and stunning features. They have self-confidence, yes, but it is one that they have struggled to build and work on. Many of them are able to bring light to the lives of others without trying too hard, from their kind and warm attitude towards those they love, to their sense of humor. They have a strong need to define who they are and not let anything or anyone change them or make them feel bad about it. In addition to this, these natives will always seek to be true to themselves, since self-expression is fundamental for them.

They give the impression of being dominant and assertive, likewise, there is a natural tendency towards leadership and the willingness to take the initiative. These people are often seen as natural leaders and can feel comfortable in positions of authority. In the same way, they very easily influence other people, being able to attract people who see them as roles to follow in some way.  These people have a lot of energy and ambition, they know how to make their ideas come true and they fight until they get what they want. Natives with this position tend to be active and dynamic, with strong physical and mental vitality. They are people who stand out for being very independent and preferring to do things their own way, they will never allow themselves to be controlled or bossed around by other people.They have a very strong ego that they will always take care of tooth and nail. The positive aspects favor a healthy and high ego, while the tense aspects can lead to being seen as egocentric. Many of these people will not give importance to other people's gossip, because they are busy with their own affairs and hate not only getting involved in topics that do not concern them, but also when people do not respect their privacy.

They tend to be very creative people from childhood, with a strong temperament and a very well-defined character. They have a strong tendency towards popularity. They may find comfort or happiness in things that they associate with tender childhood memories, from scents, movies, or even music. These people present themselves to their environment as confident, self-sufficient, charming and authentic. They hate the idea of ​​looking weak or too vulnerable, so they will proudly and firmly carry the strong and reliable attitude. The figure of the father can be very decisive in the native's life, from positive to negative perspectives. Whether their issues with him have led them to develop that need to assert themselves and not back down, to a close relationship, or even to be very similar to him physically or in temperament.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[choco-froggie]

In his late twenties - Sebastian Sallow

Headcanons below

I want to start a series of my headcanons about what kind of person the HL characters would have become in their late twenties. Also I know next to nothing about the 19th century and don’t have the dedication to learn about it so in these, they’re just set up in our time. 😅 Bear with me

Work Life

I love the headcanon that Sebastian becomes a Curse Breaker. It fits his personal story AND personality well.

But he wouldn’t be happy working for a big corporation or the government. He is too much of a free spirit who needs to be allowed autonomy. So he would work in a small structure, a bit like a private investigator agency.

He loves his job and pours himself in it, resulting in a lot of overtime work. His boss has to throw him out of the office some days.

His home

He doesn’t need a big place so a small flat with two rooms is more than enough for him.

But he is prone to clutter and his place is full of books and things he thinks might be useful someday.

His flat is located in a big city, probably London. He needs to live in a place buzzing with life because he is easily bored. He needs a place where he will never have seen everything, with lots of things to do like exhibits, museums, libraries, pubs and restaurants,…

He doesn’t care for decoration but chooses his pieces of furniture with care. Decoration is usually taken care of by his partner.

He doesn’t own a pet, he is not at home enough to care for one and doesn’t feel the emotional need to have one.

He has a picture of his family in every room, even if it’s a small picture, but he wants them close everywhere in his place.

Social Life

He kept in contact with a lot of his former friends back in Hogwarts. He doesn’t meet them every day but is happy to have a drink with them when the opportunity rises.

He is outgoing and comfortable in social settings. He is able to come to a party where he knows no one and blend in with ease.

Despite being quite extroverted, he doesn’t form a strong bond with just anyone. Even though he is friendly with everyone, it’s mostly superficial and his true friends can be counted on one hand.

He doesn’t enjoy being alone so is often meeting friends after work, several times a week, and shares activities with them on the weekend like playing quidditch, go on small trips, game nights, watching quidditch games,…

Love Life

He has dated but has never had a « wild phase ».

He needs an independent partner. He is very busy with his work and all the things he has in mind, so he really appreciates someone who is likeminded. He can’t deal well with needy people. Being in the same room or space is already great to him for most evenings.

Actually self sufficient and people who are their own person attracts him.

He also needs someone with patience. When stressed or tired he can become a bit grumpy or moody, so he needs a partner who won’t escaladate. But he knows he is wrong and will come back and apologize once he is calmed down.

As said, he is a bit busy, but his partner is the person he wants to spend all his relaxing time with. Whether it is by cuddling after a long day in bed, or by exploring the city together, trying new activities, strolling in museums, or trying new food.

He is independant and self sufficient, as a partner he doesn’t slack off around the house and shares the mental load. He is reliable, he is used to live alone and gets things done without being babied.

Quirks

He hates doing laundry and doesn’t tidy his place as much as he should be but it’s always clean.

He can’t handle silence, even when he sleeps. He is always listening to something, most of the time it’s documentaries or podcasts about things he wants to learn about.

What would yours be about adult Seb ?

[very-grownup]

NUMBER 4

Do you hate cooking but love eating? Then Sui Zhou is the man for you.

Yes, Sui Zhou clearly has severe PTSD after being in the war and spending a night buried in the dead bodies of his comrades and therapy would be good for him, but in the absence of therapy during the Ming Dynasty, he pours his free time into cooking which is far from the worst coping method. His passion and skill for cooking also demonstrate that Sui Zhou can take care of himself. This is a man who has not been made slovenly by bachelor life, living on takeout and his mother's cooking. He does not need you to be his mother. In fact, he'd prefer you not to be his mother. He has a mother and keeps her and the rest of his family at arms' length.

Sui Zhou is not concerned about what the rest of society thinks but will adequately fulfill its requirements. He is filial enough. He is loyal to the emperor, but his loyalty doesn't override his own moral code. He obeys his superiors but will push back when necessary. Under his stoicism and uniform, Sui Zhou is an independent thinker who is not easily swayed from what he believes.

Sui Zhou may be the rare resilient good apple in the rotten barrel that is policing.

While he is used to being self-sufficient and a bit of a lone wolf, Sui Zhou is not opposed to romance. He's simply disinterested in romance being thrust upon him. When the right person catches his eye, Sui Zhou will move quickly. Dating Sui Zhou means being cared for; he will keep you safe, he will keep you sheltered, and he will keep you fed. While this care may come off as overprotective, ask yourself: Have I been kidnapped recently? Am I too quick to trust schemers? The partner who demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the dangers in the world will probably be able to ease Sui Zhou's concerns, but Sui Zhou will never stop being a bit of a mother hen, especially with food. Let Sui Zhou cook for you, it's good for his mental health, it's good for your physical health, it's how he shows he cares, and it will be some of the best food you've ever eaten.

A problem you will encounter with Sui Zhou is communication.

He doesn't.

Sui Zhou is taciturn. He doesn't like unnecessary things, or the space conversations leave for deception or evasiveness. Even if you are his favourite person, he keeps things short and to the point. If he's upset with you, he's not likely to say it. If he's having personal problems, he'll keep them to himself. If he's in love with you, it will be a long time before he says the three little words. But if he needs you to get groceries, he will tell you clearly. Provided you don't have a history of poor financial management.

It's important to Sui Zhou that you've thought about the future, especially if you're together.

Sui Zhou is a catch and, as long as you don't mind long periods of quiet, dating him will be a serious but pleasurable experience.

If you are already living with Sui Zhou and co-parenting the same orphan, congratulations on the marriage you'll realize you've committed to in five years.

Go on to Number 3?

Go back to Number 5?

Skip to the end?

Or return to the beginning?

[mamadarama]

What do you think about Niki, like, in other ways then his food obsessive way-

His character can be deep but I can't make a connection here, help.

you mean like , what are other important parts of his character ..?

id say besides his chronic illness , the biggest thing that defines him is that the later part of his childhood was a bit weird . after the tv show incident with his father , his parents decided to move away so his father would be able to escape his ruined reputation as a chef. niki didnt want to leave japan, so his parents didnt force him to go. he knew this would mean hed be living alone at >14 years old but stayed in japan regardless . in most cases this would cause someone to be forced to grow up too quickly (like in the twins situation for example) but in nikis case he wasnt forced at all , it was all his own choice . he was incredibly self sufficient living on his own and seemed to be content with his atypical childhood , so he never really "lost" any of it . of course his parents were still doing what they could to support him from overseas though. usually when kids say theyre "mature for their age" its not true . but niki ..... actually was. he was doing so well for himself that he was even able to take in rinne off the streets .

i think this says a lot about how his mind works . despite him constantly seeming to have his head in the clouds (or kitchen, rather) he has an unbelievable amount of emotional maturity and self awareness . thats why hes able to be so independent . he only cares about two things: the people he loves, and cooking . if its not related to either of those things , he doesnt care about it. this simple minded thinking pattern effectively separates whats important to him from what isnt worth worrying about , so hes able to focus only on what matters . a good example is him being an idol.... he doesnt like idol work that much , but he does like rinne and working at the es cafes , so even though idol work isnt directly something he cares about, it still counts by association .

so yeah. hes an interesting guy and the most mature character in the whole game . i hope this answers your question !!

[thedawningofthehour]

Honestly, with that last bit of the latest chapter, I kept thinking about that time Galois was talking to one of the turtles (I’m not sure who anymore) about how corporal punishment was bad for child development, hence why his father Draxum didn‘t discipline him that way and how interesting it was that Splinter did smack them once in a while. It really paints Splinter as the worse parent between the two…until you remember how ‚Galois‘ came to be

I've mentioned this before, but this is really where both their backgrounds and knowledge come to a head. Draxum is Norse, born after the Viking Age-but as we've seen, the Yokai are typically slow to change with the times-and I picture his childhood and culture to be pretty similar to that of Viking-era Scandinavia. And Viking children were actually very gently-raised, despite the reputation of Viking warriors. (I realize that Vikings refer specifically to the warriors and everyone else would be Viking-era Scandinavians, but considering the Faroes aren't technically Scandinavia I'm just using it as a catch-all term) They were mostly raised by their mothers, and while they worked like any other non-aristocrat child would in that age they understood the importance of play and allowing kids freedom to grow and discover themselves, and corporal punishment was not common. They were usually quite close with their parents as well, despite their fathers being away from home so often-Viking warriors would wear necklaces made of their children's shed baby teeth for luck in battle.

Add to that, Draxum is highly educated and child development is one of his areas of study-not what he specialized in, but it was relevant to his work in public health-and the Yokai were more advanced that humans in many subjects for most of history, so the lack of benefits of corporal punishment has been known the the Yokai for a while. (the Yokai also didn't really have Dark Ages or periods of religious fanaticism that choked progress-they had some, but they weren't as widespread and their ability to remain connected through magic negated a lot of the repercussions and allowed the rest of society to keep progressing while they got that out of their system) And, to be completely fair here, Draxum has one kid. That he kidnapped as a teenager, already fairly self-sufficient and didn't need to be taught how to take care of himself. He was able to give Bella and Pax back to their parents for the hard stuff, and by the time they came to live with him full-time Bella was seventeen and Pax just kind of did his own thing, they were both very independent kids who didn't require a lot of hands-on parenting. So he was extremely well-prepared for this fatherhood thing, and got to skip the really tough stuff to boot.

Splinter, meanwhile. Hamato Yoshi was raised with the belief that the world would literally end if he didn't dedicate his life to fighting, if he wasn't willing to die and sacrifice those he loved for the cause. And he was primarily raised by his grandfather, so assuming Yoshi was born somewhere around 1960-65 (which would make him early forties in 2005 when the turtles were 'born' and he was mutated, fitting in with his decade in the Battle Nexus and his acting career spanning from his late teens to early thirties) it's likely that Grandpa Sho was born 1900-1920. So...pre-WWII Japanese guy, in a rural area. Obsessed with tradition and willing to sacrifice his own daughter for the clan. I think it's a pretty safe bet to say he was a proponent of physical discipline, and Yoshi was raised pretty harshly.

He's uneducated, having dropped out of high school to move to the US and pursue his acting career, and never expected to have kids. He wanted his line to end with him, I even mentioned that he got a vasectomy when he was with Big Mama because he didn't want any surprises. He did tons of drugs, lived a violent life even before being forced to fight in death matches, and never once gave a thought to how he'd parent. Until he suddenly became a single father of four.

And he did it with zero help. He didn't have the knowledge Draxum had, no social services that would give him free diapers and no babysitters to let him catch some sleep. He didn't even have a home at first, he had to search for a place to keep them safe and hidden and scavenge for food and toys, all while juggling four kids. His kids were super-soldiers, designed to hurt people-and when they got old enough to rough-house, it became very clear that they could hurt each other. And Splinter had to stop Raph from putting his brothers through the drywall because god knows he can't take them to a hospital, and a quick slap hurts less than if Raph had to live with accidentally maiming or killing one of his brothers.

So to me, it was less of a choice and more that corporal punishment was the only way Splinter really knew how to parent. He was exhausted and didn't know how to talk to kids and if he didn't get his point across it could have disastrous consequences for them. So he raised them much in the way his grandfather raised him. It keeps them alive, and Splinter doesn't really have the luxury of prioritizing anything else. After a while he becomes numb to it. So the O'Neils criticizing his use of corporal punishment makes him mad, because it's real easy for them to say that when they hadn't gone through what he had. He did the best he could. How dare they say it wasn't good enough.

[nightcolorz]

Since the show goes about a little differently with armand’s past, how do you think amc Armand will feel about Marius, after he realizes marius is alive?

I’ve talked a lil bit about how my ideal Armand reunion with Marius adaptation would go: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/755289596376530944/i-hope-that-whenever-amc-iwtv-introduces-marius?source=share , but to elaborate a little: The crucial differences I think between Armand in the books and Armand in the show at this point in canon is that while book Armand would not fall back into his relationship with Marius, I think that show Armand would 😭. Especially at the place that he’s in post season 2, I could easily see the reason Armand disappears being revealed to be bcus he went back to Marius in desperation.

My theory is that show Armand is going to react similarly to book Armand. He’s going to be frightened of Marius and feel uneasy around him but consider his own unease irrational dramatics. Unfortunately, i think that show Armand will be mostly favorable towards Marius if they are to reunite. I think that the revelation that Marius has been alive this entire time and has chosen to abandon Armand could easily cause a mental break when he’s already fragile. I also think that show Armand is much more fragile emotionally then book Armand, bcus the abuse he endured was more prolonged, and bcus he never got to experience the growth book Armand does in queen of the damned (which im inferring based on his behavior), where Armand learned to integrate himself into the world and was able to for the first time learn to be emotionally self sufficient and independent, and in many ways break himself of the Marius trauma inflected “I need a god or a daddy to give me purpose so I can live” complex. Amc Armand definitely seems to still have that, and definitely seems to feel completely lost if he isn’t attaching himself to a relationship or a hierarchy. So I think that it’s very likely that amc Armand could very well be convinced to rekindle his dynamic with Marius, which would be horrible and tragic but unfortunately very in character 😭.

it’s part of my own personal wishlist also that the amc show follows in the Lestat’s musicals footsteps, and they add a scene that wasn’t in the books where we get to see Armand’s reaction to finding out Marius has been alive. In the musical Lestat tells him mockingly, and Armand immediately goes into denial and refuses to believe that Marius would ever abandon him bcus he loves him. I think smth like this could rlly work in the show, and paired with the way I suspect Armand will be easy to manipulate back into a submissive dynamic with Marius, it could fit together perfectly

thanks for the ask!!

[luxe-pauvre]

Do not despise your inner world. That is the first and most general piece of advice I would offer… Our society is very outward-looking, very taken up with the latest new object, the latest piece of gossip, the latest opportunity for self-assertion and status. But we all begin our lives as helpless babies, dependent on others for comfort, food, and survival itself. And even though we develop a degree of mastery and independence, we always remain alarmingly weak and incomplete, dependent on others and on an uncertain world for whatever we are able to achieve. As we grow, we all develop a wide range of emotions responding to this predicament: fear that bad things will happen and that we will be powerless to ward them off; love for those who help and support us; grief when a loved one is lost; hope for good things in the future; anger when someone else damages something we care about. Our emotional life maps our incompleteness: A creature without any needs would never have reasons for fear, or grief, or hope, or anger. But for that very reason we are often ashamed of our emotions, and of the relations of need and dependency bound up with them. Perhaps males, in our society, are especially likely to be ashamed of being incomplete and dependent, because a dominant image of masculinity tells them that they should be self-sufficient and dominant. So people flee from their inner world of feeling, and from articulate mastery of their own emotional experiences. The current psychological literature on the life of boys in America indicates that a large proportion of boys are quite unable to talk about how they feel and how others feel — because they have learned to be ashamed of feelings and needs, and to push them underground. But that means that they don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, or to communicate them to others. When they are frightened, they don’t know how to say it, or even to become fully aware of it. Often they turn their own fear into aggression. Often, too, this lack of a rich inner life catapults them into depression in later life. We are all going to encounter illness, loss, and aging, and we’re not well prepared for these inevitable events by a culture that directs us to think of externals only, and to measure ourselves in terms of our possessions of externals. What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings. Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories — in literature, film, visual art, music — that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world. So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love. In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.

Martha Nussbaum, Do Not Despise Your Inner World: Advice on a Full Life from Philosopher Martha Nussbaum

[spacedustmantis]

the year is coming to an end. and what a fucking year it's been. i feel more comfortable in my skin and more myself than i ever have, my relationship with my family is steadily getting better, i now have a boyfriend who i love very much, but at the same time it took a lot to get through this year.

i have never felt more aimless than this year. and not only do i have no idea where to go from here, i'm also starting to wonder if i'll ever even be able to find a job and work. i don't know if i'll be able to drag myself out of this hole and live independently and self sufficiently. it's a really scary thought, one that i've always dismissed as irrational and baseless, but over the course of the last few months i've had to grapple with the fact that it might actually have some truth to it.

regardless of if that's a realistic fear this year has been scary and uncertain. which is exactly why i'm so unbelievably grateful for all the friends i've made over this and last year for giving me a sense of stability and belonging. especially big shoutout to the mutuals discord, you fucking rule and i've never felt more at home anywhere than with you guys.

and of course, the biggest thanks i can muster to my wonderful boyfriend, the handsomest wife, the love of my life @aesrot. without you i would've gone fucking insane. you give me so many things, from a distraction when i'm in dire need of it, to a (figurative) shoulder to cry on, to a place to talk about my brainworms with all of my autistic might. you kept me stable and safe through this year and i couldn't love you more, meu amor.

i cannot wait for all the love and joy and exciting memories to make that are coming this next year. and when it gets rough i'll make it through day by day, step by step, with the support from my lovely girlfriend, friends and internet siblings, just like i did this year.

thank you all <3

[nanistar]

How did you go about making your story Saltburn's Clan? I really love how fleshed out and interconnected things are, it's really good! I want to make my own story, too, but I'm struggling to know what steps to take to get there and where to start. So, how did you go about it?

this one is really hard. i get a decent amount of people asking me how to start/how to write a comic, but never how to start/write a story.

truthfully, i don't really know. i have always been a more oc oriented person rather than fandom oriented. when i was in middle school i tried writing fanfiction but was never as attached to the canon character as i was with ocs. now oc x canon, however, i could roll with. all this to say, i have always had oc stories floating around in my head, so starting a story itself is easy for me. following through is not, i have to really hit a vein early on.

so when it comes to story, what do you like? i like 70s and 80s grungy sci-fi and gory/campy horror (alien, event horizon, the thing, evil dead) niche and hostile biomes with highly adapted creatures (like deep sea or deep desert) and i love specbio, even if i'm far from an actual scientist. i also love bastardizing Christianity because the themes and motifs are. (chef kiss) Delicious. (a lot of these inspirations don't come into play for SBC but since i was 15 or so i've been working on another story, starting the comic, cancelling it, rewriting it, completely wiping everything but the core characters. most of these themes are more appropriate for them)

and what sort of character tropes do you like/don't like? i personally am uninterested in writing stories of younger people discovering the world around them and discovering who they are. i love to read them, but i've already lived through that situation and don't want to have to work through it again. another thing i'm personally bad at writing is will they/wont they romance stuff. that's why i like established adult characters with established relationships. Saltburn and hollowspur are both 5 years old and have been dating for about 4 of those years. we know that they love each other, as they visit and play around, and sleep over often, but we also know that they are independent and self-sufficient without each othersince we know that they live apart and have no interest in moving in together. (this is all shown, not told, in chapter 1) i did not start saltburn's story and setting with the intention of making it into a comic, or even to share it with tumblr or anyone other than my friends, outside of drawings that i did for myself and posted. she was just a little kitty cat who lived in my head for a while. i talk a bit more about it here, but basically when it came to actually coming up with the setting, i knew i wanted it in the desert so i researched biomes and found ones that would be good for clans.

warrior cats in particular lends itself to a really good jumping off point for stories, as it already has an established hierarchy and society so you dont have to think TOO hard about it. but also you can modify it to your own discretion. i'm personally sick of starclan's interference so i didn't want them to have anything to do with the story, plus there are a lot of better "starclan is evil/fucked up/has bad intentions" stories out there than i could do (@the-exiled-comic, the dog star, ect) . i also didnt want any clan v clan drama because weve had enough in canon. from there i established that cross clan relationships are fine and joining a clan that fits you better is okay too. then i filled out the clans, i started with sunclan and did marshclan last. through drawing that huge list of characters i was able to set them up with families and histories along the way because i could look at similar coat patterns and stuff and assign them as family. briskwater and hollowspur were always siblings, but hawkwasp being from briskwater's litter came a bit later. i knew i wanted flickerstar to have exes and a lot of kids so i came up with a bunch of names first and figured the rest out later. having these established histories that go back helps make the world feel lived in.

saltburn's unusual design came before the creation of moonclan, though i knew i wanted a 4th clan at this point. i decided there would be a clan that lived in the mines and came out at night, and then eventually worked them back so that they were instead banished away deep into the mines. there is a lot of moonclan lore that i have not revealed yet (we will learn all about them this upcoming chapter) and most of it has stemmed from the question: If life is so bad for them down there, why hasn't anyone left yet? because a major plot point form moonclan is that nobody knows they exist. SO there has to be something, physical or otherwise, keeping them down there. when you build a world you gotta ask yourself WHY a lot, and figure that out too. why are the surface clans so friendly with each other? because they don't need to compete for resources and are able to spare some. why hasn't anyone left moonclan? well...

anyway a lot of these things will come naturally the more you think about it. and tbqh, i did not go into the comic with all this lore and stuff planned. it has come to me as i work. moonclan's [Redacted] has been rewritten like a dozen times as i come up with cooler ideas. when i plan a scene, i usually wrote a short kinda vague script for it, and then work through it as i do the pages. an 8 page scene takes a month to do, so I have a lot of time to mull over the dialogue, so i don't worry about writing it all down ahead of time.

but beyond all that. i personally can't go "i want to write a story" and then do it. i have to work it over in my head and as doodles for a long time before i get anywhere that i'm happy with it. it comes naturally to me i just sorta zone in and focus on stuff.

[blue1amory]

A cute blind soul

bts ot7 x reader

PROLOUGE - CHAPTER ONE

～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～

Living with her aunt proved to be an unconventional experience for Selia. Strikingly, her aunt's voice exhibited an uncanny resemblance to that of her mother, eliciting a sense of familiarity within her. However, Selia's sight impairment prevented her from visually confirming whether her physical appearance mirrored that of her maternal figure. It is noteworthy to mention that Selia is legally blind, impeding her ability to perceive familial similarities.

Despite these challenges, Selia quickly established a structured routine within the initial days of her arrival at her aunt's residence. Determined to acclimate herself to the new setting, she navigated through each room she had acquainted herself with, methodically endeavoring to visualize the spatial arrangement of furniture. This process entailed mentally mapping out the placement of each item, thereafter actively engaging with the physicality of these objects. For instance, Selia purposefully sought out the couch and carefully seated herself upon it as a means of refining her understanding of spatial placement in her aunt's residence.

Consequently, two weeks elapsed, during which time she made significant progress in her mobility. She achieved the remarkable milestone of being able to navigate her way to both the kitchen and the toilets unassisted, without relying on her white cone for direction. Equally noteworthy is her newfound independence, as she no longer requires the constant guidance of her aunt. This transition towards self-sufficiency was crucial for her personal growth, as she recognized the importance of acquiring the necessary skills to navigate her surroundings independently.

---

"Are you experiencing a sense of anticipation and joy, Selia?" her aunt's voice resonated within the confines of the room. Selia let out a deep sigh, her response tinged with weariness. "Aunt, my birthday is merely a week away, and I must confess that I do not feel the anticipated excitement. The loss of my parents still weighs heavily upon me, and it has not even been three weeks since their passing," Selia retorted, her words laced with sadness rather than anger. Her aunt, undeterred by Selia's somber state, responded with an optimistic tone. "I understand the immense pain of their departure, Selia. However, as you turn twenty, you will receive your first glimpse of your soulmate, and that prospect alone should ignite a sense of elation within you. It is a remarkable occurrence." Selia emitted an odd sound before inquiring, "What exactly is a soulmate?"

Selia's aunt sighed softly before proceeding with her explanation, her tone carrying a mix of concern and empathy. "Selia, it appears that your parents never shared with you the story of their profound soulmate connection. Allow me to shed light on this concept for you. A soulmate, in essence, represents an individual's complementary counterpart. It denotes an extraordinary and deeply meaningful relationship that surpasses superficial attractions and chemistry. Instead, it is founded upon a profound bond rooted in shared values, beliefs, and experiences."

She continued, emphasizing the significance of understanding and acceptance within a soulmate relationship. "This connection is characterized by a mutual understanding and acceptance of one another. A soulmate becomes the person with whom you can be most authentic and true to yourself, free from any inhibitions or pretenses. It is within this unique relationship that trust flourishes, enabling individuals to confide in their soulmates with utmost confidence."

Selia's aunt sought to convey the depth and significance of a soulmate connection, highlighting its capacity to empower individuals to be their most genuine selves.

Selia posed a question to her aunt, her curiosity evident in her tone. "Where is your soulmate?" Her aunt, overcome with a tinge of melancholy, released a sorrowful sigh before responding. "I once believed that your father was my soulmate, as we dated for two years. However, it turned out that my assumption was not true."

Selia, grappling with the practicality of finding a soulmate, expressed her dilemma. "How does one actually go about finding their soulmate? It's not as though I can venture out into the world and proclaim, 'Who is my soulmate?'" Her aunt emitted a soft chuckle before providing an answer. "On your twentieth birthday, a tattoo bearing the name or symbol of your soulmate will manifest on your skin. Moreover, on the day you encounter your soulmate, certain inexplicable occurrences may transpire. For instance, you may notice a shift in your favorite color or experience a peculiar sensation of tasting what they are eating. These signs will manifest multiple times until you and your soulmate finally cross paths, serving as guideposts in your journey towards finding one another."

Selia found herself contemplating the words her aunt had spoken regarding soulmates. The timing seemed peculiar - why did she have to discover the whereabouts of her soulmate after her twentieth birthday? Overwhelmed by the recent loss of her parents, Selia had secluded herself within her aunt's house for the past two weeks, engulfed in sorrow. In this state of isolation, she pondered how she could possibly find her soulmate while hiding away from the outside world.

She mused that it was unrealistic to expect that they could communicate by simply speaking their address aloud, as if their souls would guide them to each other. Such a notion seemed implausible. However, Selia also believed that having a significant other was an unattainable dream. Despite her doubts, she hoped that her soulmate, if they were to cross paths, would accept her blindness and choose not to abandon her.

In an optimistic anticipatiion, it is hoped that Selia's endeavors will transpire seamlessly and devoid of any complications. This positive outlook stems form the expectation that all aspects of her undertaking will transpire in a smooth and faultless manner. May Selia's journey be met with uneventful progress and accurate executauin, ultimately leading to happiness. 

[mbti-notes]

Hello. I'm an INFP girl and I've always had problems with my INTP mom. She's always been emotionally absent and distant and that has always bothered me. We don't understand each other at all, for example I'm trying to tell her my problems and she just wants me to look for a solution, which makes me feel worse and very lonely. Other times I have cried a lot and she just stares at me like a robot, or sometimes she even explodes and acts like a 3 year old throwing and angry tantrum. Why is she like that? Yes, I know she has inferior Fe, but her behavior is very offputting to me and her cold stare triggers me. Is it possible for INTPs to give you emotional support or that would be to bizarre and illogical for them? I crave for her emotional support but I don't know if she can give me that. She has never been there for me in ways that truly matter, it's like she lives in another universe detached from everything.

I have discussed before that parent-child relationships are the most complicated and difficult relationships to sort out. What factors make them complex? Communication issues, role issues, behavioral issues, dependence issues, power differential issues, moral issues, personality issues, adjustment issues, developmental issues, projection issues… to name a few.

You didn't mention your age, so how old are you? Age is important because it will directly affect your ability to comprehend the above issues. It sounds like you are full of blame and anger, which is counterproductive, as it leads you to mischaracterize and misunderstand your mom. Are you able to step back from your personal feelings and get a more objective view of the situation?

Generally speaking, the younger you are, the less time and opportunity you have had for healthy ego development, and the more likely you are to be dependent on others to fulfill your needs. Adolescence (12-18) is the time when people should be gradually learning independence and self-sufficiency in getting their needs met. Young adulthood (18-25) is the time when people should be letting go of the last vestiges of dependence on parents/caregivers. However, in reality, ego development doesn't always proceed in an ideal manner. There are many factors that can slow or impede an individual's development.

One factor is personality. It is not uncommon for Fs to be slower than Ts at becoming independent. Due to having a higher F function, they tend to have a higher need for emotional and moral support from others (and then falter without it). Due to having a lower T function, they may experience more difficulty analyzing and solving problems on their own (and then repeat mistakes). This is not to say that they are doomed to struggle with independence; it is only to say that they may be late bloomers when compared to Ts.

However, before you go lamenting the fact that you are F, remember that all types are equal, in that they all have their fair share of burdens to carry. Due to having a higher T function, Ts tend to have a greater need for independence and freedom from emotional burdens. Due to having a lower F function, they may experience more difficulty learning how to recognize emotional needs and fulfilling them, both in themselves and others. This is not to say that they are doomed to struggle with emotional fulfillment; it is only to say that they may be late bloomers when compared to Fs.

Is it not reasonable for people to get frustrated when they struggle with learning something that they have less aptitude for? It's important to recognize that you are both struggling in the same way, just with opposing aspects of personality development. And this internal struggle will inevitably reveal itself externally, in the relationship, every time you press on each other's sore spots. You are confused about why your mom can't offer more emotional support? From her perspective, she is just as confused about why you can't be more independent and self-sufficient, which she likely was at your age. You blame her, which implies you think she is in the wrong and you are right, but is that really true? This brings us to the next point…

Another major factor that impedes ego development is persistent egocentrism. Egocentrism means that one's vision does not extend beyond oneself and, as a consequence, one treats other people merely as objects to satisfy one's own needs rather than as unique subjects in their own right. While all people are naturally egocentric to a certain extent because of the basic need for physical survival, persistent egocentrism is maladaptive because it blocks empathy development and healthy relationship formation. In extreme cases, persistent egocentrism can morph into destructive narcissism.

Generally speaking, children start off very egocentric because their world is very small and their needs are very immediate. But as one gets older and more independent, one gains more and more experience of the world that should gradually broaden one's perspective. As such, one's concerns ought to eventually expand beyond oneself into the external world at large. However, this progression doesn't always go accordingly for a variety of reasons.

One big reason is growing up in an unsupportive environment. When children don't have their physical and/or psychological needs adequately met by caregivers, they, quite reasonably, become very preoccupied with their unmet needs. This can manifest as overdependence or "craving" (desperately seeking fulfillment from others), anxiety (always fearing that one's needs will never be met), withdrawal (resigning oneself to always having unmet needs), aggression or hostility (always blaming others for one's problems).

No matter how it manifests, the key point is that the child remains persistently egocentric into adulthood, excessively preoccupied with their unmet needs. Most importantly, since they didn't learn the right lessons about how to get their needs met in childhood, they develop unhealthy patterns of seeking satisfaction in all the wrong ways in adulthood.

A rational person would understand that it is illogical and futile to seek emotional support from a person who is incapable of providing it, not unlike trying to extract blood from a stone. However, an egocentric person isn't rational. Since they are self-preoccupied, they inadvertently treat their own needs as more important than others'. And since they view people merely as objects for personal use, they place unreasonable expectations on others to fulfill their needs. Such self-absorption is a common cause of relationship conflict.

With all that in mind, if you truly want to address relationship problems in the right way, here are the steps you ought to take:

1) Empathy: Have you taken into consideration the perspectives of everyone involved in the conflict (or do you insist on believing that only one party is to blame)? Have you objectively analyzed and identified the underlying factors/causes of the conflict (or do you insist on believing that "personal moral failure" is the one and only simple explanation)?

2) Needs: Everyone has the same psychological needs, but not everyone ranks their needs in the same way. For example, Ts rank independence higher than emotional support when compared to Fs. Have you identified and understood the unmet needs of both yourself and the other party (or do you only care about your own needs)? Have you understood exactly which unmet needs are coming into conflict in the relationship? Have you properly considered whether you are capable of meeting their needs AND whether they are capable of meeting yours? Reciprocity is necessary for a relationship to be healthy and grow over time.

3) Communication: Have you communicated your needs in a neutral and objective way that helps the other party recognize and understand what they are? Have you communicated your needs in a way that properly instructs the other party on the best way to meet your needs, in the event that they don't know how to proceed? Have you really heard the other party when they express their capabilities, with regard to being unable to meet your needs?

4) Alternatives: If, through good communication, it has been established that the other party is unable to meet your needs or even meet you halfway for whatever reason, have you considered other healthy, possibly better methods of getting your needs met? Have you considered ALL your options and do you know how to choose the better option? (I.e. Have you developed Ne enough to be a creative problem solver?)

Yes, it is a sad fact that many children grow up in unsupportive homes. Such children are more likely to develop maladaptive attachment styles and suffer from mental health issues like depression and anxiety. However, suffering privation in childhood doesn't have to stop you from developing into a healthy adult. The key is that you have to take your development into your own hands.

It is important to address the challenges you have with your parents, otherwise, those unhealthy relationship dynamics can easily carry forward and recur in your future relationships. Today you are desperately seeking validation from mom, tomorrow it might be your boss or your spouse.

The way to resolve relationship problems is to learn how to put relationships into the right perspective, i.e., to go beyond the egocentric perspective and be more objective. Parents are human beings with their own unmet needs and developmental issues. The sooner you can acknowledge and honor their humanity, the sooner you can have empathy for them and then free yourself from them, to become your own person.

If you really care about personal growth, you should want to outgrow things like egocentrism and overdependence. You can take the initiative to learn the knowledge and skills you need to overcome the challenges you've faced at home. It's not a crime to need emotional support, we all do at times, but you have to get smarter and discover better ways of obtaining it.

[mynonclicheblog]

There was an absolutely beautiful Holmesbury analysis (here) by @ginarickys that made my brain go BUZZ BUZZ with more thoughts on the way these two characters contrast and enhance each others' lives, development, etc... so... um... hello there 👋

Not to start on too much of a personal note, but I generally dislike the idea that a strong/independent female character "shouldn't" have a love interest on the principle that it "weakens" her story - and as a result, I think a lot of why the Holmesbury relationship works so well for me is because Enola's entire lesson/arc in the 2nd movie is dismantling exactly that. It applies to far more than just romance in Enola's case but that makes it even more beautiful.

In the beginning of EH1, she and Tewkesbury exist on opposite ends of two extremes: Enola never ever relies on other people for anything. She was raised to be self-sufficient and break the rules and make some noise, to forge her own path in life. Tewkesbury comes from a world where he's inevitably relied on his family's status and wealth. He was brought up to follow societal rules, to do what is expected of him.

They represent the balance that the other needs. The things they lack individually, the other possesses in spades.

Tewkesbury needed to learn that there are people out there who are unafraid to make a stand, to cause chaos, to fight for what's right. He's always had a bold and virtuous heart, but felt so overwhelmed by his family + societal position that he preferred to run away from it all. He is immediately drawn to Enola because he sees her doing the things he wishes he were brave enough to do for himself. He admires her for it. Eventually, he starts to emulate those traits in his own life as he grows into his duties. It's easy for him to embrace these things and fall in love with Enola, because he is self-aware and soft-hearted and open to such emotional experiences.

Enola, on the other hand, needed to learn that her independence will not lose its value or impact if she does open herself up to emotional partnership with others. Admirable as she is, Enola has a tendency to be stubborn and resolute almost to a fault; it takes the most self-reliant, influential figure in her life (her mother) to make it sink in that she CAN have both. She is not impeded by love, love has the power to make her STRONGER. It's difficult for her to shed her old mindset and fall in love with Tewkesbury, but he is so transparent with his feelings and she eventually realizes this can be a good thing, even something she could benefit from.

They teach each other how to exist more fully and authentically within the lines they're given. It's not about the complete rejection of everything you were born into; it's not about the absolute refusal of help or vulnerability; it's about the balancing act of who you are /=\ who you can be. Accepting that sometimes, "both" is an okay - or even ideal - answer.

Tewkesbury is able to let his guard down and catch feelings for Enola so quickly because from the time they meet, she encompasses everything he already knows he wants, but doesn't have in his life. Rebellion, excitement, chaos, fighting the good fight - he thinks she's a fucking rockstar! He has so much fun on their little overnight adventure that he suggests they continue on their journeys together. It takes Enola longer to reach a place of acceptance regarding her feelings for him because, in her young eyes, allowing herself to fall for a boy would be incongruous with what she's always thought her life should look like... until EH2 (and Eudoria in particular) helps her understand that she doesn't have to sacrifice any of her ambition or independence for love, when she has already found love with a boy who accepts every part of who she is - no conditions, no strings attached.

[therianimal]

On Disability And Dependence

I've found that as a mentally ill disabled person, therapists often treat my dependence on my partner (and parents) as a disorder rather than a natural consequence of disability itself. In one case an assessment center that was supposed to be testing me for ADHD suggested I had Dependent PD based on a 20 question Personality Disorder questionnaire (which is less effort than I've put into SELF-diagnosis in the past!). It didn't occur to them that I don't just THINK I can't live alone - I really CAN'T live alone.

I can't drive (who will take me places, including medical appointments?), clean certain things, particularly dishes and bathrooms (who will help me not live in filth?), work a job (who will help make sure I'm not homeless?) or accomplish more than a couple basic things per day (who will motivate me to manage necessities when I can't do it by myself?). I can't even manage my sleep schedule without prompting.

A therapist may easily recognize this as a trap (it IS, no one knows this better than me), but acting like the solution is to "realize" I don't need other people is so missing the point it's almost funny. The actual solution, in theory, is to work to increase my self-sufficiency and learn to manage my emotions and behavior better on my own. But I will never be 100% self-sufficient. If that is the expectation I place on myself, then I will never be happy either.

I live in a situation where I NEED my partner. I try to keep our relationship as romantic and non-caregiver in nature as I can but ultimately we are strung together in a way that can be called "need". And that sucks - I love him deeply but I'd rather CHOOSE him than have no choice. That's the more socially normative, romantic, therapist-approved, and "healthy" option. But that is not a fully accessible reality for me, and following abled people's advice like "choose to be single, learn to live alone!" would be destructive to me.

And while we're here, I want to point out that acknowledging this is not "giving up". I can learn and grow - I believe that, of course I do. But for me, that requires a prerequisite of accepting that to one degree or another I am disabled. If I ignore that I will push myself too far and end up hurting myself - end up hating myself, even. So I build a life and relationship within this reality, knowing that no one else's life is perfect either. Self-acceptance is needed for healing and happiness, and that requires acceptance of unfortunate realities like the fact that I am not capable of complete independence, and that I will be disabled for the rest of my life.