#i will love to see my grandma again

[ihavebrainworms]

if i do not find a job before the end of september i will most likely have to move back in with family down in florida for the first time in 5 years which is crazy

[mandalora]

Stolen from amidonexor, no one asked me either

[todayisafridaynight]

Is that character gay? *points at Mine*

Allegedly.

[puppyeared]

Hero of drivers license

[polaroidcats]

I just want to crawl into bed and hide underneath my duvet for like a month but I have to go be a functioning caregiver in like half an hour, I have no idea how people do this full time when it's already breaking me to be a part time caregiver

[ginnyrules27]

You know how people say 'write what you know'? Yeah, sometimes writing what you know might seem completely insane and completely implausible.

Take for instance using things that happened in my family. If I were to have a scene where characters got into a feud over one character using another character's enema bag, people might think that would be too out of character for anyone to be that stupid. Such a thing has happened in my family's history. It devastated my late-Great Aunts because you can't get rubber-tipped enema bags anymore, only plastic.

Or if I were to have a character sneak out in the dead of night to save a china cabinet from other characters who wanted it for themselves even though said cabinet was several miles away, it might seem insane. My father drove from Fairfax VA to Buffalo, New York to claim my great-grandmother's china cabinet that my grandmother wanted my mom to have but my great-aunts also wanted it and my grandmother sobbed on the phone to my mother about it.

Or if I were to have a character shout 'dad, dad, mom's gonna show her feet' when her mother is about to show her gnarled, bunion and hammer-toed ridden feet to her daughter's boyfriend who was there for the second time...yeah I don't know how people would react because it seems like something no one would do, doesn't it? Replace 'character' with 'my mother' and you have the story of the second time my dad met my mom's parents.

I have more stories about how out there my extended family is but this post is getting long enough. So if there's a moment in my fics where a scenario seems unlikely to happen to someone in real life...I give you my real life lol :D

[boxwinebaddie]

HE JAS A PROSTHETIC LEG OMG? WHAT HAPPENED

hoooo...so *looks away because god is about to smite me for this and i really can't take any more abuse, but i'm a loose cannon, baby!*

sooo uh...hypothetically speaking...

toolshed mechanic stan's grandmother might have been a really famous female drag racer once upon a time and stan may have been a Really REALLY GOOD Driver...oooonce...upon a time...

-- because i'm not saying there was an Incident, buuut...

but if there was an incident about a year or so ago, toolstan and the boys ( kenny and butters, holla at them ) may have been on some late night Degenerate Shit ( drinking, smoking that good tegridy weed, getting dummy stupid and schwifty ) and small town hick nowhere mechanic stan maaaaay...may have been driving them back DRUNK!!

AS! ALL! FUCK!! ( it used to be his favorite party trick; he used to say he could do it with his eyes closed or steer with his feet/use his legs where his arms were / drive backwards...that joke Did Not age well.

and...hypothetically speaking, he may have actually physically humored that joke, or regardless was prolly doing donuts and stupid ass shit ( butters was throwing up and kenny was having a blast ) but uhhh...it's very possible that things might have been going very well...

( as well as driving your friends home blackout drunk can be -- which is never a good idea even if you live in a tiny rural colorado town that doesn't even make the map most years, have done it a million times and there is never anything in the road... )

because HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING!!! THERE WAAAAAS SOMETHING IN THE ROAD!!!! it was a deer, toolshed stan SWERVED HARD, they hit a massive tree and...Sigh...

hypothetically speaking, mechanic stan only really remembers it in horrible mercurial ptsd flashes and is extremely haunted by it...but in the accident, i think stan's leg got crushed between some part or the car or idk, maybe it had something to do with the handle he was drinking ( yikes super best friend ), a massive shard of glass got butters in the eye and he literally lost his eye and kenny???

so...they never found kenny's body...but they did find...

His Severed Right Hand.

[asmallcafethatslove]

I just want to let you all know that I have a stupid little silly crush on a friend’s acquaintance and I haven’t had a crush in a looooooooong time like seriously it’s been a decade I swear but I think it’s so fun and refreshing and thing is we have only met once and introduced ourselves very briefly bc I had to leave but other than that 👍🏻 like with all this information I really don’t know what to do with it

[coloursofaparadox]

im. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

[this-doesnt-endd]

I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors

[sparklesmaug]

Thinking about non-verbal expressions of love and getting emotional

[ohraicodoll]

Thank you so much for Red. It’s crazy how much I relate to her. We don’t live in a post apocalyptic world but we all live in our own worlds and sometimes it can feel like us vs them which Red helps me to navigate. She has helped me to feel less ashamed about the way my brain has turned out.

She’s so cathartic and has shown me that even when someone is as rough and ready, or completely rejecting of anything good that comes their way because they ‘don’t deserve it’ or that they will wreck it that some people could them her regardless. If that makes sense.

I especially love the new Tommy x Red friend post that just made me feel so fucking validated again! The way that Red has unusual ways of showing her love/gratitude and the people in her life just try to understand it until they do with no questioning!? To be loved in a way that is so accommodating and significant blows my mind. I know you’re writing fiction but sometimes discovering that this very specific thing is addressed and taken care of by another human being in the world is insane and has given me a bit of hope for my future.

It’s so soothing and Cathartic to read your work . I spent some of my childhood in survival mode and it never truly leaves you. You’ve written it so realistically I am in amazement with every piece of the puzzle you post.

I wish I had an ounce of your talent so that I could explain my love and gratitude for you in a way that was comprehensible. I’m sorry, I just had to say something now though, I’ve been having a weird couple of days and your writing is one of my only forms of escapism.

I am so interested in what inspired you to create such a specifically complex female character like her. I consume a lot of media, have read and literally studied the new era of woman (still hard to give them a specific name) and no character has ever come close to Red. Your talent blows my mind.

Thank you Sam.

Oh goodness, did you make me cry ❤❤

I'm so glad you feel seen and feel a bit of representation and catharsis with her. That's just all I can hope is that you all love the characters I create and the stories as much as I do. You've all kept me motivated and inspired to write her (especially as fast as I have haha).

The idea about Red came because I kinda got tired of only finding pure smut or timid characters in the TLOU fic tag. I love both but Tess was not timid and was more the dominant in the relationship. And I fully get that Joel radiates "I'll take care of you" dom energy but at this point in the apocalypse I doubt there would be many people left that didn't have some aggression in them or that need taking care of. I love character analysis too much to do the same type of character.

I've always been drawn to rage characters. I wrote a whole book series when I was a teen centered around one. And I think I wanted to go back to that since my character in my Sandman series is the opposite. Dahlia is an exploration of trauma responses, especially around acts of anger because that's what I experience. But I started writing with action and violence and someone who is angry all the time and motivated by rage and I wanted to go back to it because writing a character that lacks the moral responses to killing is fascinating. So often we get characters that regret or are remorseful around killing and I don't think that's Joel.

So it was a combo of just writing someone who doesn't regret her violence, doesn't regret killing, and has been alone in the wild for a long time focused only on surviving that they never thought they'd get more. Someone who is accepted for their violence and rage. And that's Red. She is a bunch of fractured pieces held together with string with no coping skills and Joel and Ellie love her either way.

There's the her before the Outbreak, the her that was broken by her sister (who she sees in Ellie), there's the her that was with her group, the her after being alone for years and years, and then the her with Joel and Ellie. Joel never shies away from her and may actually be drawn to her more because of it since there's a piece of that in him. This story is about being seen and accepting your ugliness.

I think being able to jump all over her timeline and continuously build her has been so wonderful and fun. Requests and prompts have been great in building her (though I do change some to make sure they fit the world and who she is). I fully acknowledge she's not a reader but an OC but I cannot write a character who is a blank slate because your past and history dictate your personality and actions (and tbh, most Readers are actually OC's without names or descriptions. I'm old, the x Reader/You thing is new but also just a relabeling of OC's)

I don't know how other writers write, but these characters fully inhabit me when I focus on them. It's why it's hard to switch between stories and characters at time because I can only see through their eyes. I feel their natural body movements, their conversations flow in my head and usually I have to race to write them down somewhere for later. Red is very much a part of me and it's been a joy to explore her and bring her to you all.

So much love and thankfulness to you all ❤❤

[iguessitsjustme]

For the "Talk About" meme: 15 and 24 💖

Oooohhhh these are good ones. I'm gonna have to think about them for a bit.

15. Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Other than now, which is probably the most content I've ever been in general, I'll tell you about a specific time I was content. I think I was about 17, maybe 18, and I was with my family visiting my uncle and his family. We were at some cabin, I think my uncle rented it or something, I'm not sure. I'd never seen it before and I haven't seen it since. So this was my dad's side of the family and we aren't particularly close to my dad's side of the family. Well my siblings and I aren't. My parents are a bit more. I've described the disconnect that us siblings have with our cousins as "they are hinged and we are not." My older brother says it's because they had a stable and stationary home life and we have not. ANYWAY. We were at this cabin and it was on the river and after a long day of boating and playing in the river and being incredibly self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit and being around people/strangers (since I didn't know my cousins well at all, they were basically strangers), everyone was chilling at the house, getting ready for dinner, playing games, etc. I went to the dock by myself and just sat and stared at the river as the sunset. That was probably the most content I've ever been. It was also probably the most at peace I've ever been. Which was nice because immediately after that moment, when I went back, my grandma started quizzing me on my plans for the future and I had none which did not help my anxiety. But being near water and just getting to sit and watch the waves is always what makes me feel the most content.

24. Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

There are so many things that people have told me over the years that have meant a lot to me but most of them are incredibly personal and I can't share with anyone but they meant a lot because those people felt safe enough with me and trusted me enough to share those things. BUT if I were to choose a specific thing, it was something that one of my good friends from college told me once about myself. So my friend is the type of person that everyone goes to with their problems and they all kind of expect them to kind of fix it for them. Or give them advice (which they always ignore but I digress). And one time, when I was stressed and needed to vent, I called them and I vented and they let me go on for quite some time, even though I knew that I was the last in a long line of people to dump on them. When I was done, I said "I'm sorry, I know everyone's been coming to you with their problems lately and that you have your own shit to deal with. Is there anything you need to vent about, you can dump on me if you need to." And my friend, said one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me, "Rae, don't worry. I know you're not venting and expecting me to fix it. You're not just dumping your problems on me and leaving me with them. I never have to worry about you. You might get stressed and vent, but you always work it out yourself. And you don't ignore me. I'm not worried about you." And I almost cried. To know that my friend, who carries so many burdens from other people in their life, did not consider me to be their burden in any way and to trust that I would be okay, it just meant a lot. Cause I had another friend (we aren't friends anymore though this isn't why) who was the exact opposite. This friend didn't trust me to be okay at all. She constantly nagged at me even when I was doing fine and it made me doubt myself and my ability to be okay. Which is actually something I've worked very hard on. If there's one thing you can count on me for, it's that no matter what, I will be okay. It was nice to have my friend recognize that.

Make me talk about myself

[hakugreenfinch]

not to be a lonely single asshole on main but. what if someone sang a song to me. what if someone asked me to dance even though i cannot. what if someone took me to see sharks

[erynriryn]

im back in my hometown, back in bosnia

how do i get out

[girlscience]

the fact it's been five fucking years and i still sob like a baby any time some character comes out and their parents accept them fucking sucks