#also. on the same day learned that the money from my grandma is getting distributed.

[coloursofaparadox]

im. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

[prorevenge]

Racist mom tries to bribe son to dump me, I gain power over everything she cares about.

This is gonna be a LONG post lol, may have gotten exact timing sequences out of order.

Met a guy that we had mutual friends with and invited him to hang out with my friends and do fun stuff. Later learned he was not even allowed to hang out with my crowd cuz his mother was the very strict and hypocritical sort who thought everyone else was inferior to her precious kids. Guy was telling them he was doing work or something. Eventually he told them he wanted to date me and they flipped. The dad doesn’t have much say in the house and the mom (EM) was livid.

You know how Amish people don’t like rock and “sinful” music? Or females that wear shorts and tanks? Yuuup basically her. She went through my social medias and literally compiled and printed out giant lists of every country song I’d ever posted or concert I’d been to or clothing she thought was too provocative along and gave it to the pastors at both of our churches. EP called MY mom at 2am a couple times to rant and rave about “how could she let her daughter do such sinful things and flirt with boys yada yada yada”. She made racist remarks to Guy (I’m a super cute half Asian half messican, and all of his family is pale white golden haired angels) and even asked him if I’d molested him (I’m 5’ 2” and he’s literally a foot taller than me) and if that’s why he wanted to date and marry me. He was still at home and they went on a family trip to Colorado. Or as it turned out to be an exorcism style prayer meeting over Guy because EM just knows there must be a demon or something wrong with him. Oh and this was only within a span of a few months while he saved up to move the hell out.

Nope not over yet. EM then was harassing his work, his new church pastors (mine), his friends, got one of his business partners to leave him with lies that Guy is “bipolar” and “Schizophrenic”, thankfully most of the people had our back and we had some good laughs over what outrageous things they told us. Even driving an hour and a half to his apartment (I know dumb move to let them know where he moved to), in the middle of the night a couple times to harass and berate him and blubber about how everyone would judge her and how her reputation was going to suffer and church standing, she even dragged his two younger siblings into it all and told him they were heartbroken that he moved out and all the reasons he needed to move back home. Cue even more fun, one night he was just done so when they showed up to again try and bully him into moving back home or at least dumping me, he just up and left. Got in his mini and drove away. AND THEY FOLLOWED HIM. Unbelievable right? He used to race his mini so he lost them pretty quickly and booked it over to where I lived and spent the night there. I know, why not call the cops right? Well there was no physical damage or threats thereof. Yes she’s been verbally and borderline physically abusive to him growing up, think patriarchy super conservatives but it’s a matriarchy. At one point EM asked Guy what it would take for him to dump me, what amount of money could she pay him (Guys dad makes buttloads of moola, yeah those kind of people) to get me out of his life and for him to move back home. SHE TRIED TO BRIBE HIM TO LEAVE ME. She’d threatened to disown him and all the typical rich EP stuff before and knew he didn’t care. EM even called all his guy friends and asked if Guy has ever had any “homosexual” tendencies etc. Next month Guy proposed, and EM was SO MAD that she heard about it for the first time from a mutual friend congratulating her on the upcoming wedding! So of course she calls all the pastors and REEEEs about how we’ve been living in sin (kicker, we hadn’t even done the dirty dance but she didn’t bother asking) and telling everyone that they shouldn’t attend the wedding etc. Yea call us prudes :p EM also printed out all the reasons why I wasn’t good enough for her son and handed those out like candy to church leaders. Then when that had no effect she switched tactics and did the same thing with all her reasons why he was immature and shouldn’t get married and should move back home and be parented. Still no effect, except my dad at a huge meeting where she tried to distribute those, gathered them all back up and handed them to her and told her to stop slandering us and said how ungodly that was. And she stood there baffled and all the other people present agreed with my dad and told her to put those papers away. EMs exact words “but but I thought the very reason everyone is here is to show Guy why he needs to leave that girl and move back home!” I couldn’t help a giggle and a few other people couldn’t either. That meeting is a whole nother story, it was hilarious.

Where is the revenge you ask? Well all that was just the tip of the iceberg of course, but the revenge has been pretty simple. Spend a few obvious nights (SLEEPING ONLY) at his place, just to trigger her, but ofc our pastors and friends knew we’d committed to abstinence our entire lives up to the wedding (hella yea wedding night was killer) and other things like that to get under her skin but nothing that anyone else thought was bad. Very publicly plan and execute a HUGE wedding (over 500 people) and tell everyone about how our relationship is so beautiful and holy and how Gods destiny brought us together yada yada. She made a couple extra hoops for our pastors but we jumped through them with flying colors and everyone except her thought we were the cutest most Christian kosher thing. So basically to save face she had to fake smile and accept all the congratulations and be secretly embarrassed that we didn’t invite her to the wedding showers (she said she never wanted to see me and wouldn’t go to the wedding) and made excuses as to why she hadn’t gone, EM couldn’t tell her friends that we hadn’t invited her now could she? She went after the best man too and he almost decided against being the best man she was such a hassle and he was a pushover, but I told him the best passive way to deal with her is tell her that he wants to be there for his friend and how could she argue with that? She didn’t. But of course, what’s better than forcing her to attend the wedding but not allowing her to ruin it? Extremely petty I know, but I’m a drama llama and have enjoyed 98% of all this. I of course get ahold of EMs own mom and get to know her and she’s very sweet and loves me to death, along with Guys siblings and his dad, as many of EMs own friends and their families etc. So everyone loves me and when we invite them all to the wedding, they strong arm her into coming. I have my cop friends who have been having a heyday hearing about all this drama coming in for the wedding, one of them I make my MC so if she tried anything, not only would they take care of her swiftly, but she would also deeply embarrass herself because there was no denying that there were 500+ people there who loved Guy and I, including a lot of her friends. The ceremony was great, went off without a hitch, oh wait... I am not a bridezilla so if anything went wrong it was fine and the drama was cracking me up, I was a little disappointed she didn’t try anything drastic, but I could see on her face the entire time that EMs smile was sooo fake, and I got reports that she was seen crying outside later. Watching people congratulate her was priceless. When my own friends congratulated her a few of them later told me that she seemed surprised that I had any “respectable” friends (her literal words) who thought well of me. And no I’d arranged her to be only in one photo so she couldn’t ruin any others.

Oh and our wedding day was only the 3rd time she’d ever set eyes on me. She was against me from the start for almost a year without ever having spoken a word or ever seen me in person. Take that EM. To this day I have no idea what was her real beef with me. Happy ending: now that I provided the first grandkids, to my chagrin they’re like baby Targaryens they’re so white, and of course she’s too “young” to be a grandma so she’s called “nana”, but we laid down ground rules and she knows we will ostracize her at the drop of a hat, and she has kissed butt so hard and to her credit done her best to mend everything without ever really actually mentioning any of it. It’s great. We have holidays and fun visits in between and she showers us with super expensive gifts and will drop everything possible to help if we need anything. I think we’re friends now. One day I think she might bring it all up and try and play the victim, idk, but she’ll be hit with a carefully detailed account of everything that went down, in case her memory “fails” her. I can forgive but I’ll never forget, after all, I got my delicious revenge. Power over everything she holds dear and the evidence to expose whatever she hasn’t already done by her own dumb self and absolutely ruin her reputation and community and church standing. I feel really good right now

TLDR entitles mom wants to be petty about me dating her son so I take petty to another universe levels and crush her with epicc facts and logic and hold all the cards to ruin her life now

(source) story by (/u/cyborgurl)

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

Take Direct Action, Get More Benefits

There are two things I’ve been hearing a lot during this quarantine. One is a question and the other is more of an uncertain statement:

“I feel lost, unmotivated, unsure what to do.��

“How can I help the struggling people/organizations that I love not go under?”

I must admit - although these are both tinged with the sadness and anxiety of our present moment - I’m heartened by the love and care that has poured out of our communities online. A desire to do something at all is a marker of self-care, and a desire to give is a marker of care for others.

And that is beautiful.

But acknowledging that beauty doesn’t provide an answer to the above queries, both of which are searching for fulfillment.

So, how can we take some direct action - for ourselves and those around us - that will provide fulfillment? And are there other benefits as well?

Here are some thoughts.

Direct Action

First of all, what do I mean by “Direct Action”?

We take tons of actions all day, every day. Little decisions that affect the course of our lives.

When we take a direction directly, it means that we are the masters of that decision.

We are in control and no one else was involved in the process, either as a middleman or an agent to alter our decision. Now, that doesn’t mean that you didn’t consult with others before taking the action, but when you took it you, did it alone and were the direct cause of change.

This could be anything, from small to large:

Cooking, shopping for, or ordering food

Turning on a movie or TV show

Helping someone complete a task

Putting a down payment on a house

These are actions you are choosing to take and are in total control of.

Indirect action is making the decision to let others take full or partial control.

Something will still occur, but you are not the direct cause of change. These things can also be big or small.

Things like:

Letting your spouse make dinner

Handing over leadership on a project to a colleague

Giving to a charity organization

Signing up for a guided tour

Ultimately a change is occurring, and you made the decision to not stand in the way of that process, but you also don’t have full control over the specifics of the result.

“But Michael, I’m not a ‘control freak,’ so why should I care which action type is being taken?”

Because, if you’re feeling a little lost right now and want to do something about it - as so many of us appear to be - you will find the greatest personal fulfillment and affect the greatest change by taking direct action.

And there a few ways to do this.

Gift Yourself

I don’t meant give a gift to yourself.

Well, I kind of do. But not directly.

What I mean is to give something that comes from you out to the world - to a friend, to a loved one, or just out into the interwebs!

What is something that you like to do that can provide some sort of service, kindness, information, or gesture to someone other than yourself? (And yes, this idea is very similar to the blog I wrote on Craftivism!)

I’ll start.

For my sanity, I write these blogs.

Writing is something that I love to do and do pretty well. I enjoy doing the research, gathering my thoughts, testing my opinions, and then structuring it all together into a piece of writing from my personal perspective, which I hope provides some information and comfort to people in my communities.

These are my personal thoughts and stories, and I share them with others as a small gift to the world. I don’t make any money from this, and the time I take to write them isn’t coming from my “free time.”

So why do I do it?

This is a direct action I take every week that has done a little bit of good for some people. Every time someone tells me they read my blog and - enjoyed it/learned from it/needed to hear it/etc. - I am rewarded with positive feelings of giving, accomplishment, and satisfaction. It’s a little fulfillment.

But that’s me, personally. What about other people?

Right now I know approximately a dozen people who are spending their time using their skill sets at home to create much needed masks for health professionals across the country. And I think this is brilliant.

Are they getting paid to do this? Nope.

But is taking this action for someone else giving a sense of purpose and fulfillment? If their posts are all to be believed, then hells yes!

“Michael, I don’t have any useful or creative skills!”

Sure you do!

Do you have the ability to go to the store for a neighbor who cannot? This counts!

Can you recommend a great comedy show to a friend who needs some humor right now? Great!

Are you able to call or video chat with a family member struggling with their anxiety or depression? What a fantastic act of service!

Direct actions, all of them. And these are actions that you can take to fulfill your desire to just do something.

You’ll feel useful, others will feel better/supported/loved, and in turn you’'ll then feel even better.

Join Up

Community is everything in a time like this, and yet it’s so easy to ignore that fact and stay more isolated than we have to.

So, what to do about that?

Join up with a group of people online!

“What group? Like an online support group?”

I mean, you could if you feel you need that. But what I’m talking about is taking a group that you either already belong to in in-person-land, or one that you don’t belong to but is of interest, and joining up together online!

Some examples:

That friend group you’re always texting with but never get to see in person? Have an online happy hour!

That craft club that’s too far of a drive for you? Check out their online get-togethers!

Book discussion group can’t meet in person? Online!

Best friends movie night cancelled? Try Netflix watch party!

Miss cooking with your mom and grandma? Try doing it remotely at the same time!

Love your board game group and miss them? Find some online apps and play together, with or without video chat!

Want to more directly follow the journey of an artist/band/activist/etc. that you know and love? Check out their online community on their webpage, twitter, facebook, or wherever they do it!

Waiting for someone else to put it together won’t benefit anyone involved, and just wishing things were back to normal won’t help you either.

But reaching out to organize or join a group is a direct action that will make you - and everyone else involved - feel far more fulfilled.

Gift Directly to Others

This one is more of a monetary idea.

I know that not everyone is in a position to give financially right now, but if you are and you’re feeling the itch to help out a person or organization who isn’t as lucky, here are some ways to do so directly - aka make the greatest impact!

I’ll speak from the arts, since this is an arts blog after all!

A couple days ago, the people behind patreon.com put out a call-to-action video called Creativity Over Everything. (Do watch, it’s very short)

The basic idea driving this video and webpage is this:

The pandemic crisis and quarantine have made the flaws in our current system of Creativity and Compensation more apparent and also more detrimental to Artists.

And boy is it true!

As we’re all stuck at home and using all kinds of art to entertain ourselves, the people who created that art are - for the most part - not the people reaping the benefits of that creation.

“Then who is?”

The major companies and corporations behind the financial backing and distribution are the ones who often get the lion’s share, even though they wouldn’t be getting anything if it weren’t for the artists in the first place. For the most part, artists are treated as contractual freelancers and gig workers - therefore they have no safety net and must share the fruits of their creations with distributors.

Sound unfair? Well, it is.

“But what can I do? I can’t change a whole system from quarantine!"“

Actually, you can.

Do you have a favorite artist or musician? What about crafter, podcaster, or entrepreneur? Do you know one personally? Is there a creator you love who is struggling?

You can give to them, directly. No middleman, no company. How?

Websites like Patreon and OnlyFans were made for exactly this. Not only can you give financial support to your favorite artists (and usually receive great benefits by doing so!), but you can often purchase their art directly from them!

It’s like a crowdfunding campaign with no end date or limitations and better benefits. And you have the ability to connect directly with the artists in need! (Also, check if they have a crowdfunding campaign going for a specific project as well!)

For a personal example, on my Patreon page you can connect with me directly as I post snippets of all kinds of creative work - daily hellos, videos, musical demos, in-the-making, blogs, and more - and much of it is only for my patrons, who then have direct access!

[Here are a few examples of non-public content:

Daily Hello video

Unreleased Musical Demo from The King’s Legacy

Something silly

Other behind-the-scenes creative work

And plenty more is being created daily]

And what about arts organizations?

If you personally want to give to an organization directly, all it takes is an email or phone call to find out how to do so. If you want to help fundraise for them - if they’re non-profits - you can use the FaceBook fundraising feature to set up a campaign, which is super easy and very quick!

I’ve seen a few of these campaign casually come across my feed over the past two weeks, ultimately raising thousands of dollars for arts organizations that are struggling during this shutdown.

I mean, is there a better way to feel helpful than to be able to give directly to those who need it? Talk about fulfillment.

I again recognize that not everyone has the means to do this, but if you can and want to find a way to help, give your favorite creators a quick search and see how you can best help them, and directly!

More Benefits

Honestly, I’ve just scratched the surface of the benefits that can come from these actions.

Sure, you might:

Feel useful, feel better, enhance someone’s life, get gratitude, get personalized benefits, get perks from giving pages, find a community, etc.

But you might also:

Gain new friends, find new joys, change a life, change your own life, discover a passion, or create something new of your own.

You may feel lost and want to help, and I get it.

So take a breath, take a direct action, and help change the world for the better. Cheers!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING SOMEONE

Users are interested in response time. It's terrifying to build something big from scratch. It will be interesting, the kinds of things we find interesting will surprisingly often turn out to be i/o-bound. It's easy to talk to someone who knew Apple well, and in the worst case it won't be for too long. It was my fault I hadn't learned anything. Back button becomes one of your most interesting philosophical problems. Customers loved us. It is the proverbial fishing rod, rather than being distributed, like slices of a pie, by some imaginary Daddy. The business doesn't have to be done? When you release software gradually you get far fewer bugs than desktop software. When people lose their own data in a disk crash, except that your data is handed to someone else to develop?

They will give you major coverage for a major release, meaning a new digit after the decimal point. A hacker's language is terse and hackable. The main reason they want to write desktop software, because writing desktop software, you're practically forced to write the sufficiently smart compiler you could create a situation indistinguishable from you being that manufacturer, at least. Wanted: Woman with hammer. If you're still losing money, then eventually you'll either have to raise more or shut down. Technology that's valuable today could be worthless in a couple months everything would be stable enough that we could save enough to buy one from a summer job in some unrelated field. A startup is like a giant galley driven by a thousand rowers. Raising money is a way to get those initial twenty users is probably to use a trojan horse: to give people an application they want, including Lisp. The investors are what make a startup hub. Whereas if you solve a technical problem that a lot of ways to get rich would all start startups.

Grad students are just the age, and just the sort of person who would like to solve the problems of this one user. They won't be replaced wholesale. Not just because it pleased users, but also as a way to evade the grip of fashion. Good design uses symmetry. You have to be at the mercy of investors. And when business people try to hire hackers, they can't get that mad, because they read it in high school. And in fact the default in the predefined page styles. Every futon sofa in Cambridge seemed to have the program already written for you, the founders, because they know that as you run out of money you'll become increasingly pliable.

And if you don't get that initial core of users, software that drove an impressive collection of dials displaying real-time server statistics a hit with visitors, but indispensable for us too, modifications including bug fixes to open-source software, and do it that day. Fortunately the process of developing the pitch for the first time someone asks him. The way a startup makes money is to offer people better technology than they have in the past, have scientists, engineers, musicians, architects, designers, writers, and painters. Even a concept as dear to us as programmers that these sites would have to win by doing better work. This article describes the surprising things we saw, as some of the smarter ones, particularly angels, can give good advice about the product, but would apologize abjectly if there was a problem with a server. Those ideas are so rare that you can supply the three things any language needs—a free implementation, a book, and something to hack. This was not uncommon during the Bubble. They didn't know. That's the way to the top of the mountain.

If you start out underfunded, it will work anywhere the Web works. And while they probably have bigger ambitions now, this alone brings them a billion dollars a year. Why should any of your data be trapped on some computer sitting on a server somewhere, maintained by the kind of pain you get from going running, not the idea. That's their secret. But then he makes a mistake—possibly the most important. Does this trend also hold among startups? The engineers build a reliable gadget with all kinds of publicity.

At YC we're excited when we meet startups working on things that we could hire someone whose job was just to worry about money. Even now there is too much money at the series A stage. Instead of trying to answer the question Of all the useful things we can say for the other 90% is that some of it is funnier in hindsight than it seemed then. And cattle, and the things they complain about are unsatisfied demand. But you can't have any idea what users will be determined by the amount of stock you retain. For the first week or so we intended to make this point diplomatically, but in retrospect the grad-studenty atmosphere of our office was another of those things we did right without knowing it; next he tries consciously to be original; finally, he decides it's more important that letters be easy to tell apart. Your spinal cord is less hesitant, and it will be because it's more convenient. The only practical solution is to let people do the best work they can, companies like to do but can't. At any given time there are a couple 25 year old founders who can live on practically nothing. New York Times reporters on their cell phones; a graphic designer who feels physical pain when something is two millimeters out of place. Likewise, it's obvious empirically that a country that doesn't let people get rich by creating wealth did it by developing new technology.

When you have an idea. Some of our competitors shot themselves in the foot this way—usually, I think what they mean is that the concepts we use in everyday life that you don't notice. The way Apple runs the App Store? But you know the ideas are out there. I can say is, try hard to do it. But it was also something we'd never considered a computer could be: fabulously well designed. In Common Lisp I have often wanted to iterate through the fields of a struct—to push performance data to the programmer instead of waiting for him to go to work for a big, fat, bully. These guys are not the graphic designers and grandmas who were buying Macs at Apple's low point in the future. Maybe if I were smart enough it would seem the most natural thing in the world. They get the same kind of stock and get diluted the same amount in future rounds. Maybe you're right, and of all the future work we'd do, which turned out to be the way most big programs were developed. Much to the surprise of the builders of the first things they try is a line drawing of a face.

[mawichandoodles]

Beloved Rival (RusAme/AmeRus fanfiction)

My super late gift for @purplepatchwork in the RusAme Secret Santa2017 exchange.

This is my first fanfic EVER. And it’s longer than expected, almost 5k words. I’m a bit nervous, but know I wrote this with all the love. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Patch! 

I mixed prompts number 2 and 3 :

“2. Al and Ivan as two rivalling teachers whom all the students secretly ship, whether they find out about this and/or their reaction to it is optional, just go wild.“

“3. Ivan confessing feelings to Alfred while being drunk, can be human or canonverse, Alfred’s reaction is entirely up to you.”

Note: I don't know much about the school system in other countries, so I'm going with what I was used to see during my high school years. I hope it doesn't end up clashing too much with other people's idea of high school.

Note2: English is not my native language, so regardless of research and editing, there may be some errors I’m unable to detect. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's Friday afternoon, near the end of the Algebra class, but more importantly, it's the end of the semester. The group is only a few ticks of the clock away from winter break. The only sounds in the classroom come from numb-handed students scribbling on their notebooks, and the mellow humming of the one sitting at the old desk in the front corner.

They are writing a final essay about the content reviewed throughout the semester, what they learned, why it's important, why they liked it, and things like that. Alternatively, they could write a whole manifesto of hate to the teacher, to algebra, or the world in general, if they sowanted. The only things the teacher asked for was eight pages of text, and finished within the hundred minutes of class they had on Fridays, as designated by the group's schedule.

Raivis, sitting in the middle of the front row, looks up at the clock over the whiteboard, a drop of sweat runs down his forehead. He relaxes the grip on his pencil, cue the feel of pins and needles as he stretches his fingers.

"Five minutes," he mutters.

The teacher, seating on his desk in silence, stops humming, along with his calculation of the student's final grades.

"Five minutes!?" A voice echoes from across the room.

A collective gasp and muffled muttering fill the teacher's ears.

Raivis' sight is blocked by a towering figure standing in front of his desk. The figure leans closer, revealing the smiling face of the teacher, Ivan Braginsky.

"Are you done, Mr. Raivis?"

Chills run down the spine of the small student.

"I ju-just... two more left."

Mr. Braginsky kept smiling. He gently places a hand on Raivis' head, and looks him in the eyes.

"The clock doesn't care you're staring at it. Mind your own work, before time runs out, yes?"

Raivis bites his lower lip from the inside, and remains silent. He resumes writing his paper without looking up at the teacher again. Pleased, Mr. Braginsky pats his head and goes on to walk around the classroom, nonchalantly. He happily strokes his red and pink scarf as he walks, the part wrapped around his neck. Not one of Raivis' classmates dare turn their heads towards the teacher.

"Remember this is an optional task you can do, if you want (or need) extra points. Because I don't want failing students. This is my Christmas gift for you. That's why I will take no less than 10 pages of text, as a sign of your appreciation, yes?".

The glasses of the guy sitting left to Raivis fall off his face and on his notebook.

"You said nine!" Says, Toris, who sat in the right corner of the middle row.

"Oh, is that how you say 'eleven' in your native language?" Mr. Braginsky chuckles.

Everyone groans at Toris.

Mr. Braginsky takes the empty seat in the middle of the room, right among his students. He begins talking outloud, tapping his fingers on the desk. No one was sure if he was doing it to distract them away from the last precious minutes they had left or not. He could be testing their ability to focus, to work under pressure, he could just want to ruin their lives (as every teenager thinks about any teacher, ever). They were all too familiar with Mr. Braginsky's subtle "tests" of character. Although they share the sentiment expessed by Mr. Braginsky, they do their best to tune out his voice.

"Uff, it's getting suffocated here." He pulls on his scarf with two fingers. "Who though repurposing a storage room as a classroom was a good idea? Greedy people, trying to save money instead of making more buildings. No wonder you guys call it the 'the Rat Trap', huh?"

A rat trap indeed. Located, next to the chemistry lab, the two rooms were built together in a one-story building, separate but next to the main building for classrooms which blocked whatever sunlight could have gotten through. Thus the room tends to be low, yet suffocating at times. There was barely enough space for fifteen people, and had four 30cm x 30 cm stuck-closed windows on upper walls.  

"And the other teachers said 'You should be fine, you have the smallest group'. I'm sure in the next semester, the room distribution will be a total bloodbath. Mr. Jones will fight for the same room I choose, I bet. Regardless I'll make sure we get a better place for us this spring... Yeah, I will be your teacher next year too, hehe." He continues rambling.

The echoes of the ringing bell penetrate the walls of the Rat Trap. As soon as they hear it, most people put their pencils down and start packing their belongings. Some people sight in relief, others from exhaustion. Others shake their hands in the air to relieve the numbness and someone in the back corner starts crying. Meanwhile, Mr. Braginsky gets up and returns to his desk, without sitting down.

"Time's up, turn in your papers. Leave them on my desk here. I'll have them graded by Monday, and I'll send the final grades to you all via e-mail in the evening of the same day."

No matter what face the kids are making at him, with a fatherly smile Mr. Braginsky wishes merry Christmas to each one of them as they leave. One by one, the youths place their essays on the desk, not before stapling the pages together with the teacher's stapler, as they usually did. He put it there for the students after all.

"Brother," mutters Natalya, as she stands in front of Mr. Braginsky, adjusting her white ribbon. "Thank you for your hard work."

She hands a thick bundle of pages to Mr. Braginsky. With a gesture, she insists on him receiving it with his hands, instead of leaving in on the desk. He raises an eyebrow.

"Natalya? You don't need extra points at all. You could have gone home already."

"I wrote you a letter. I don't want you to read anyone else's paper first, it must be that one, okay?"

"Merry Christmas?" Says Mr. Braginsky, patting her sister on the shoulder as she turns to leave.

And so as the teacher begins to pack his belongings too, he notices a girl with pink flowers adorning her head, sitting at the bottom left corner. It is Mei, the youngest sister of Mr. Wang, who also teaches algebra. Hoever she chose not to have a relative as her teacher.

Mr. Braginsky gives her a puzzled look and approaches her. Mei seems to be focused on her notebook, moving her pencil with meticulous dedication. A whole two minutes have passed. By the time Mei raises her head, Mr. Braginsky is sitting next to her, leaning on the desk as he stares at her work with clenched teeth, hidden by a lips-shut smile.

"Don't your eyes get tired of drawing in a place with such bad lighting?"

Mei jumps on her seat and slams her hands on the notebook.

"Mr. B.!" Mei she raises the corners of her mouth in a dubiously successful attempt to sound calm. "You're still here?"

"I am the one locking the classroom door today."

"I didn't mean to make you wait, Mr. B., I'll go home right away."

"Did you take on the final task?" He says, fingers fidgetting, focusing on Mei's small black spot near her chin, probably a pencil graphite stain.

"My grade is fine, as you told me, so I didn't write anything".

"Is it too cold outside or something? Why didn't you leave early, like your friend Lien? Maybe you like my class that much?"

Mei looks down, without moving her hands off the notebook. Several seconds of silence ensue.

"Alright, let me see it."

Mei's eyes widen. Her hands press even more on the notebook.

"But it's nothing," she stutters,

"Yes, so let me see it."

"But..."

Mei sighs, her face turns red and quietly slides her graphite-stained palms away from her work, revealing the semi-realistic unfinished image of two men, suspiciously similar to Mr. Braginsky and Mr. Jones, engaging in what looked like "adult activities". Mr. Braginsky slowly extends his arm to grab the notebook, looking Mei in the eye as if to ask for permission to take it. Mei remains silent.  Mr. Braginsky then proceeds to inspect the drawing, now on his hands.

"I have to questions, Miss Wang."

An imaginary knot forms in her stomach. She closes her eyes and folds her arms around her abdomen, anticipating the scariest scolding of her life as if she was preparing to take a fist to the gut. And so she nods in silence.

"Number one: Is that Mr. Jones, tying me up with the candy cane-pattern scarf I got from my grandma?" He inquires, pointing at the goofy scarf he's wearing.

Mei nods again.

"Number two: Did you draw my nose smaller on purpose?"

Mei is unable to hold back her nervousness any longer.

"Mr. B. please the don't tell my brother about this, please don't show it to him! I'm really sorry, I'll accept my punishment but please don't-"

"Shhh Shhh...  Can I keep it?" He interrupted.

"Eh?" Mei stopped cold. "Do you... actually like it?" She stuttered.

"Well, no, but I can't let you keep it, much less actually finish it."

"I'm really sorry."

Mr. Braginsky chuckled behind his hand.

"Making a fuzz about this would be a waste of time, right? Just go home and don't draw these things at school. That's my Christmas gift for you, what do you say?"

Mei placed her hand on her chest.

"So, my Christmas gift for you would be letting you keep it?"

Mr. Braginsky chokes on his own breath.

"The gift is not drawing these things at school anymore. Now go, shoo shoo." Mr. Braginsky gestures, still smiling.

"Thank you, thank you so much! Merry Christmas, Mr. B.!" Mei exclaimed. She masterfully ripped the drawing from the notebook without damaging it, handed it back to Mr. Braginsky and hurried to pack everything. She then runs away from the Rat Trap more happy than scared.

Mr. Braginsky is still in the desk next to where Mei was, staring at the confiscated drawing, with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. The rythmic tapping of his fingers echo across the room.  Soon the image blurs as his minds simply wanders off.

"But why with Mr. Jones?" He thinks out loud.

It wasn't that Mr. Jones was a man, just like himself. It was that wether in public or in private, they were seldom "nice" to one another, if ever at all. How did so many kids get the idea that they could "love" each other? He didn't understand. Did Mr. Jones say something he was not aware of? Did they do it as a form of mockery? Could it be they noticed something?

"Because I'm the best teacher ever?"

Startled and holding his breath, Mr. Braginsky folds the sheet of paper with the drawing and places it on his lap to cover it under the desk. He looks up to where the voice came, only to see Mr. Alfred F. Jones, the physics teacher. standing just past the entrance of the room, staring back at him. Mr. Braginsky exhales and shakes his arm in a dismissive "go away" kind of motion.

"Ivan, how's it going? Found anything interesting? Said Mr. Jones, with an intentional, emphasized mispronounctiation of the "I" in "Ivan" as "eye".

"Alf," Ivan greeted him, referencing the extraterrestial protagonist of the eponymous 80's sitcom. "What do you want?"

Alfred goes to Ivan's desk and casually grabs the other's suitcase.

"Do you have, like, a stapler?"

Ivan puts Mei's drawing in the pocket of his coat and returns to his desk. He yanks the suitcase away from Alfred's hands.

"Not for you. Besides, I think I ran out of staples after my kids used it just now." Ivan replied with a dry tone. "And I don't want you to lose it or break it with your clumsy gorilla hands anyway."

Alfred smirks.

"So you're admitting I'm stronger, after all?"

"Clumsy." Ivan replies, walking to the door. Alfred follows him.

"Come on, I forgot mine at home. I need to staple my student's papers!" He begs. "And some other documents too," he mutters.

Ivan stops walking and turns to Alfred.

"Show me the papers and I'll staple them myself."

"Ivan, do you really think I'm gonna break it?"

No response.

"Man, the mug incident was an accident, I'm not asshole enough to break other people's stuff on purpose."

Ivan stepps out of the Rat Trap and closes the door behind him, with Alfred still inside.

"Oh you did break something of mine and it was not just a mug," Ivan replies, making noises with the keychain as to make Alfred think he's going to really lock the door and leave.  

Alfred takes a deep breath and exhales. He rubs his temples then folds his arms.

"Then will you come with me to the teacher's lounge? I left them there. I have to present some of those papers real soon. I don't have time to drive home or look for one in a store, you know. I'll treat you to lunch if you want."

Ivan opened the door slowly, only enough to poke his head inside, like a shy little kid.

"I'll help, but I'll choose the meal. I don't want cheap trash-burgers get it?."

"F-- yes!" Alfred cheers and slams the door open. He runs outside, pulling a startled Ivan from the arm.

"Hey I have to lock the door!" Ivan complains. And so Alfred freezes on the spot, almost stumbling on his feet.

"Ah yeah, I forgot. Lock the door, then. It's just that I'm really short on time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lingering scent of cheap coffee floats in the air within the teachers lounge. The old coffee machine emmits a buzzing sound that everyone doubts is normal but no ones cares enough to actually check. Ivan and Alfred are sitting in the worn out but strangely comfortable couch next to the teachers' lockers.

Ivan had taken off his scarf, it was neatly folded and put on the couch, next to his lap. Under the beige coat he wears a wine-red turtleneck sweater, so his neck remains covered, as usual. Alfred had rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie for the sake of comfort.

They two of them were alone in the room as most other teachers usually tried to go home early at this time of the year. There was a small coffee table in front of the couch, where they placed a tall tower of paper sheets Alfred had been passing mini bunches of paper to Ivan, who carefully stapled them together and placed them in the opposite corner of the table. Within minutes they had picked a good rythm of work.

"So, how did your kids do this semester?" Alfred grabs the next bunch of paper sheets and hands it to Ivan after asking.

"Overall a few low grades but no failed students."

"Well my students didn't get anything lower than 80."

"In last week's meeting you complained that 'kids nowadays don't care about science,' I recall? You called them burger-flipping babies then."

"I was mad at the time," Alfred laughs. "And I meant just the neglectful ones... But okay, my kids got nothing lower than 70. There, I said it."

Alfred grabs a thick bunch of documents and sorts them out appropiately. As he inspects them he holds the documents in such a way that the contents can't be seen by Ivan. He gives the next batch to his helper and leaves the rest aside. A single sheet falls off from them and glides unceremoniously until it lands on Ivans feet. Alfred freezes. Ivan picks it up without thinking much of it until he flips the sheet and sees the other side of the page.

A drawing made with blue ink, maybe from a regular pen. The sheet has some tomato sauce stains, it seems. It features cutesy characters holding hands. A blushing, big-nosed character kisses a spectacled character on the cheek. The artstyle looks like what the quiet and mysterious school librarian would call "moe", as Ivan learned during their rare small talk. As "stylized" as the appearance of the characters is, he grimaces when he gets to figure out the character's identities and feels the earlier situation with Mei kind of repeat itself. All within the same hour.

Ivan glances at Alfred with a serious face, without saying anything, holding the cutesy drawing for Alfred to see. Alfred loosens his grip on the next batch of documents so much they fall to the floor. He immediately picks them up and rushes to take the drawing away from the other's hands.

"I confiscated that thing from a student who was not paying attention," he says after clearing his throat.

Ivan looks down on the mess of sheets on Alfred feet and notices at least three other similar drawings lying among the "normal" documents. After shaking his head from side to side, Ivan stands up and stretches his body.

"I'll get myself some coffee," he says, but when he tries to step away, his foot stumbles on the table's leg and the tower of unstapled sheets is collapses and is now everywhere. Alfred snarls and just throws the paper on his hands onto the table, blending in with the rest of the mess.

"Goddamn it, what a great help you turned out to be! Talk about clumsy!"

"It's your fault for being so disorganized!... And having weird things among important documents!"

"Weird things, you say? Well it's NOT my fault you're so delicate you get offended so easily. I bet you doodled things like this yourself when we were in high school."

"I bet you now wish I did!" Ivan raises his voice. He takes his suitcase and is about to rush out of the lounge, when Alfred talks back once more.

"Ivan."

And so he stops, but doesn't turn back to face him.

"Your stapler," Alfred says, holding the tool with a stretched arm, trying to get it to reach Ivan. Even though Ivan is not seeing, so he wouldn't know.

"It's yours now. Merry Fucking Christmas." Ivan grunts and storms out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The asshole forgot his dumb scarf," Alfred muttered to himself. "No way in hell I'm gonna go give it back to him."

More than an hour has passed since Ivan left the teacher's lounge. Alfred is sitting alone in the couch. Four neatly organized piles of documents were placed on the small table in front of him. The stapler sits on his lap as though and he pets it as though it was a living cat. Not too ago he had finished sorting out the last batch of documents, All of them now stapled together. He leans back and beholds the result of his efforts.

The first pile of paper corresponds to his final reports on the class and its members. The second and largest one corresponds to the planned content to review in the next semester. The third one is made of student's graded homework that he couldn't return to them on time. The last one is a collection of assorted documents and other non-school-related curiousities that had found their way into Alfred's current paperwork.  

Alfred reached to the fourth pile. He grabbed it hole and placed it on his lap, not before putting his new stapler aside. The pile contained old tests, some postcards, wrinkly notes about past lessons, some letters from his students from years ago, some pictures, and, who would have though, more drawings like the one that sparked the short-lived argument an hour ago.

The cutesy drawing is the sixth drawing featuring him and his coworker that he confiscated during that semester alone. The first time he caught a student drawing or writing such material he was shocked, almost traumatized, he could have said at the time. However, somewhere along the way he began to find it amusing. Now he would only confiscate material and punish the student if it was being used as a distraction during class. Otherwise he'd even joke about it and keep the students guessing. It's not like other coworkers didn't make similar jokes about them from time to time.

Of course Alfred would have never let Ivan know about that guilty pleasure of his. Not after the things he had said in the past, and has come to regret now. But more on that comes later. Now as he beholds his secret collection he wonders, why is he even keeping those dumb doodles around? In his mind, most of them look like specimens of failed human experimentation, begging for the sweet release of death. And yet...

Alfred moves the fourth pile back to the table and rests his hand on the side. His hand lands on the still folded, abandoned candy cane scarf. He slaps it away and it comes undone on the floor. Alfred sighs lets his body collapse on his side onto the couch, like a ragdoll.

His stretched arm hangs from the couch. Before he knows it, he's grabbing the scarf again. He brings it back to himself and strokes the fabric. He starts to knead it back and forth with his fingers, similar to how cats do when they find a comfortable spot for a nap. The scarf is soft and way more fluffy than its appearance would indicate.

And so Alfred digs into his pocket and takes out his cell phone to start texting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A brief vibration comes from Ivan's pocket on his coat. He's at a grocery store, standing in front of a stack full of small potato sacks. He's looking for ingredients for tonight's dinner. The store is very crowded. He hopes the vibration of the phone is not something important enough for him to need to call back.

Ivan takes the phone out, it's just a notification from the app store, a pending update for one of those annoying preinstalled applications that he never uses.

"I thought I turned those off." Once he places his phone back on his pocked, he puts a potato sack in the shopping cart, next to the cabbage, the carrots, and the onions. He turns his head around, making sure there's nothing else around that he might want to take. He clutches his turtle neck, forgetting once again that he left his scarf back at the school. He had an habit of stroking it to keep his hands busy when he was nervous, anxious, or bored. Concluding the assessment of his surroundings, he moves on to the meat and fish section. It didn't take too long for him to find what he needed, but he now he has to wait in a very long queue just so he can pay for the groceries and go home.

So Ivan stands there, advancing mini steps each several minutes. All the while the speakers around the store are emit obnoxious Christmas carol remixes as dictated by modern tradition. In a way he thinks it's kind of nice. To be reminded that there are other things in life to be mad about, other than whatever spurs out of a dumb, old high school c...

"Hey, sir. Your turn for the cashier," Ivan hears someone behind him on the queue say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfred locked his car and made his way through the parking lot of the mall. Both hands are hidden on the pocket of his jacket to protect them from the cold. He is whistling the Ruldolph the red-nosed reindeer song. He was interrupted when someone called him from several meters behind him.

He turned back. It was almost 5pm and the sun had begun to set a while ago. The sunset glare hurts Alfreds eyes and obscures the figure of the person standing in front of it, calling Alfred. He can't quite make out the words the other person is shouting. As he approaches the figure gets clear enough for him to figure out it's just Ivan. He's next to his car, carrying a grocery bag on each hand. Now that Ivan too, has a clearer sight of Alfred, his neutral expression changes to that of disgust.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Ivan exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Alfred was confused.

"Don't 'excuse me'. Why the fuck are you wearing my scarf?"

"Oh, that. Welp." Alfred shrugged. "It's warm."

The two of them stood in there for the longest ten seconds ever.

"Are you gonna give it back to me or...?"

Alfred clicked his tongue.

"Of course I will." He ripped the scarf off of himself and threw it at Ivan. "Take your gay-ass scarf."

Ivan catches the garment, making sure none of it is dragged on the ground. One of the bags almost falls off, but he holds them well. He doesn't put the scarf back on. Just keeps it under his arm.

"That says more about you than about me." He replies.

Alfred lowers his head, awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

"Whatever. So uh, lunch is like, cancelled, I guess? Is dinner ok?"

"I'll cook dinner at home." Ivan says. he taps his foot as he waits for Alfred to leave. Now that he got back his personal property he can carry on with his evening.

"What are you gonna make?" Alfred is still there.

"Shchi."

Alfred squints, lips curled a little bit.

"It's cabbage soup, you uncultured swine."

"Eeew. You know, my pal's restaurant serves the best lasagna ever. He's from Italy, you know."

"Thanks, I know. I'll take my sisters there sometime soon."

Ivan opens his car. He shoves the grocery bags in the front passenger seat and gets inside.

"Okay then why the hell did you shout at me from across the damn parking lot if you are gonna be like this?" Alfred yells from the side of the car, knocking on the front glass.

Ivan lowers his window.

"I just wanted my scarf. Saw a red-pink dot in the distance. I more-less knew it was you. Wondered if you carried it with you, but didn't think you'd be actually wearing it. I may be messed up, but you're a total creep. Just go away."

Ivan turns the keys. The engine sounds like it's going to start but then dies off. Both men's eyes widen and turn their heads to the front of the car. Ivan tries to start the engine again to no avail. Alfred folds his arms, expectant, until Ivan gives up on the tenth failed attempt. Defeated, Ivan leans on the steering wheel, his head presses the honk button. Some bystanders a few cars away begin to direct their attention towards them, but Ivan doesn't care. Alfred leans on the car, laughing histerically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "This is the kind of day that makes me regret being born." Ivan says as he chops fresh cabbage. The knife gets closer the fingers of his other hand and pokes the side of the thumb. Unsurprised, he leaves the knife and opens the nearest drawer to look for a band-aid.

"Look at it in a different way," says Alfred, who's turned back from him. "You got your scarf back, we managed to take your car for repair so you can have it back within the weekend. You don't need to drive to work for now anyway."

Alfred sniffs and grunts, trying to hold back the tears. "I even gave you a ride back to here, which is an hour away from where we were." He puts aside the onions he's chopping and rushes to get a napkin.

"I even volunteered to chop the onions you ungrateful piece of shit." He wipes his nose so the swearing gets muffled at the end.

"No one asked you to stay for dinner either." Ivan puts on a band-aid and resumes his tasks. "Besides, kids who complain about chores don't get dessert, you know," he jokes. He acknowledges Alfred has a point, though. His mood begins to lighten up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a while they managed to cook a decent cabbage soup. Alfred didn’t waste the opportunity to mock Ivan for eating "grandpa food", despite getting a second helping himself. Alfred was supposed to leave not long after dinner, but a couple of cookies and cups of sbiten later, the two of them are at Ivan's rooftop, simply chatting, gazing the sky at midnight. The roof was slightly angled, with blue flat roof tiles. And a thin layer of snow covered the surface, but none of that bothered them. It was also a one-story house, so they were not quite worried about falling off.

Alfred lies on his back. His arms are folded behind his head as a pillow. Sitting next to him is Ivan, hugging his knees with one arm, and hugging a two thirds-empty bottle of vodka with the other. Ivan tries to lie down on his back too, but is encumbered by another empty bottle behind him. He pushes it away with his free hand. When trying to lie down again. His head lands on the bottle, but he's a bit too drunk to care, he just stays like that. That's going to be his pillow. It is to be noted that while there are two open bottles, Alfred has abstained from taking a sip, knowing that he'll eventually have to drive home.

"You know, I kinda regret not studying Astronomy at all in university," Ivan said, biting the tip of the bottle. In the end he had gone for Computer Science.

"Me too," Alfred replied. "But a degree on Engineering for me wasn't bad at all. Not like I'm doing much with it, though."

Ivan reaches to Alfred and pulls his sleeve slightly to get his attention.

"Your telescope still works?"

"Pfft, that thing's been broken for years," Alfred replies. "I never got rid of it, though. I've been saying I'm 'fixing' it for years, but it's just gathering dust in my basement."

"Why cling onto old stuff, though." Ivan takes a sip of Vodka.

"It's not old stuff until it becomes irrelevant, right?" Alfred turns his body on its side to face Ivan. His head rests on one hand. "We still love space and stuff. Hell, we are gazing at it right now!"

"Yeah, even the other club members called us weird." Ivan gulps down the remaining contents of the bottle. "If you want, I could help you clean your basement after I leave the town."

"Oh that'd be... Wait what?" with furrowed brows, Alfred's eyes widen.

"What?" Ivan doesn't understand the reaction.

"What did you say?"

"I'd help you throw the trash." Ivan shruggs.

"What do you mean you're gonna move out of town?" Alfred drags his own body closer to Ivan.

"I'm thinking of it." Ivan plays with his hair, dodges his gaze. He clasps both hands together, doesn’t elaborate further.

"And your job?"

"Teaching has always been part-time stuff. I'm more established as a programmer now. I'm just waiting for a reply from any of the places I applied into."

"What the- Why didn't you tell me about it?"

Ivan turns his back on Alfred. He hugs the empty bottle of vodka like a teddy bear.

"That matters because...?"

"Then just... why?"

"I really want to get rid of the old stuff myself." Ivan replies with a hand his chest. "You know what I mean?"

Alfred stops making questions. He lies on his back again and sights. His breath is visible in the warm vapor escaping his mouth. His glasses become foggy so he takes them out. And so he finally notices that there's no moon to be seen anywhere in the firmament. But the stars were still there, still, beautful, The location of Ivan's home near the countryside made the precious stars even more visible on the darker environment. Even if visible, a full moon would not outshine them that night. He can almost hear them twinkle, if such a thing existed outside of cartoon sound effects. He turns to Ivan. He is seeing them too. They are reflected on his irises.

Alfred hadn't paid as much attention to space and the stars as he'd have liked after he started university. Even less so after his telescope broke down. It was the telescope Ivan gave him for his birthday, when they were on their high school's Astronomy club. Meeting Ivan again as a teacher in the same school gave both of them a chance to get back to those interests, after having to push them aside in favor of their new duties and obligations.

Though that came only recently. Right now they can to tolerate each other, yet at the time of their first encounter as teachers, after separation during university, Ivan wanted nothing to do with him. It was like their time as two territorial chimps posing as teenage nerds was the only relationship they ever had. As if they had never managed to become best friends before they had to part ways. And it was all his fault, he thought; for as early as that reencounter Alfred realized that just like the stars, Ivan too had become inaccessible after he smashed the telescope with his baseball bat.

"Dude, maybe you should go to bed, you know," Alfred sat up. "I should go home too, I guess."

"I'm not done with this vodka." Ivan declared, lifiting the bottle with force.

Alfred slaps the bottle out of Ivan's hands and it falls off the rooftop. The shrill sound of glass shattering offscreen leaves the state of the ground by the house's entrance to be imagined. Ivan glares at Alfred, a few veins seem to be popping out.

"It was empty anyway. Come on big boy, you drunk."

A grmbly Ivan lifts his arm towards Alfred. Alfred takes his hand and helps him sit up. Ivan stands up on his own, but as soon as he starts showing signs of dizziness Alfred holds him. He makes sure Ivan gets back inside in one piece. All the while Alfred is not even trying to hide that Ivan is a bit too heavy for him. But Alfred would rather place the blame on Ivan being "fat" instead of lack of strength or exhaustion due to the time.

At some point even before they left the rooftop Ivan's body decides without telling anyone that it will stop cooperating altogether. So Alfred has to carry him all the way back to his bedroom as well. Ivan's head and arms are perched onto Alfred's shoulder and the tip of his feet are being dragged on the floor.

"What the hell Ivan? You're effin' fat." 

"I'm big boned," Ivan whispers.

"Big-boned my ass!" 

Panting and grouching, Alfred grouches and throws Ivan on his bed. His legs are left hanging from the edge of the bed after he falls like the potato sack he bought earlier. He giggles from the slight bouncing on the mattress

"Really? I don't want to see and find out for myself," Ivan talks back and crawls his way into the center of the bed to fit his whole body in.

"Shut up. You're the fat one here."

"Don't worry, Alf. Softer bodies are cute too." Ivan makes squeezing motions with both hands.

"You say the weirdest things when you're wasted." Chuckling, Alfred slaps Ivan's hands then hides them on his pockets.

"Who's wasted?"

"You are wasted."

Ivan shakes his head left to right. Standing next to the bed, Alfred leans close to Ivan.  

"Come on, big boy, take off your shoes and go to sleep already." He says, patting the other's large chest. "Let's hope you don't wake up all hung over. I'll lock the doors well and turn off the lights, so don't worry, okay? Good night.

Alfred walks out of the room and closes the door. But Ivan keeps talking, seemingly not realizing Alfred is not there anymore.

"Say, Alfred. We didn't use to be like this. Do you still want us to remain as rivals? Even now?"

The door of the room is thrown open. Alfred knows the best would have been to ignore the other's rambling and leave, but he is overcome by a an impulse even stronger than him. His excuse is that he is just making sure Ivan's really saying what he heard or that he's not asking for help for whatever reason. He just stops and keeps listening, though. He is yet to step back inside.

"When I said I regret not studying Astronomy, I meant it."

Ivan is now lying on his belly. His face rests against a pillow, so his words are muffled, but Alfred is able to make out most of what he's saying with little trouble.

"We've been so childish. And it's my fault we are like this."

Alfred is uncertain about the point Ivan is trying to get to. Maybe is just pointless drunken rambling, but he wants to listen still.

He adjusts his glasses and leans on the doorframe.  Ivan turns his body again to face the window next to the bed and curls his body in a ball. Even his wide back begins to look small in Alfred eyes.

"I'm sorry for moving back to Russia instead of going for the University we wanted. I left you alone, and told you confusing, unwanted things too."

Alfred's heart becomes heavy inside his chest, his lips shut tight, curled downwards. He steps inside and returns to Ivan's side. He sits on his bed. Ivan face is still turned away from him.

"Since we met again I've been doing as you told me before I left. But it hurts, you know, going back to this after we got to become friends."

Alfred gets further in the bed and pulls Ivan's shoulder to face him. Ivan looks at him with squinty, glassy eyes. It is uncertain if alcohol is to blame for that.

"Don't touch me," Ivan whines. He languidly throws a pillow to alfred's face. "I'm sorry Alfred but what do you even want anymore? You rejected me then, but won't stop teasing me now."  

"Hey Ivan I want to..."

"I don't want to like you anymore. You're too much."

Alfred's heart becomes even heavier. So much his body alone will be crushed under its weight. He allows himself to fall on top of Ivan to wrap his arms around him. His glasses fall off his face and on his hand, but he tosses them away. Ivan lifts both knees together. He wants to curl up again, but is unable to.

"I'm the one who's sorry," said Alfred.

He puts both hands on Alfred's sides, but is hesitant to return the gesture. Alfred buries his face in the gap between Ivan's neck and shoulder. Alfred's cold cheeks against the warmth of his body sends chills down Ivan's spine. The skin underneath his clothes get goosebumps. He closes his eyes.

"I shouldn't have reacted like that when you told me." Alfred muttered to the other's ear.

He clings tightly to Ivan's body. His resistance is waning, but Alfred hugs tighter and tigther as he continues.

"I was a stupid kid just like you. I was confused, and sad... and I got angry."

A knot swells inside Alfred's throat, he jitters, his arms and legs tremble, but he wouldn't stop.

"It was easier to hit you and call you disgusting and a traitor, instead of saying "goodbye" and accepting that maybe... I felt the same for you too."

Alfred's lungs run out of air after saying that. He makes a pause to breathe. Ivan doesn't respond. He opens his watery eyes to see Alfred, but everything is blurry in his eyes and hazy in his head. He can't tell if he's dreaming or not, so he too, wraps his arms tight around the other. He runs his hands back and forth on his back. He wants to confirm he's holding the real deal and not an alcohol-induced hallucination.

"Ivan, I didn't want you to leave... I don't want you to leave again now. I like you too."

And like that, the thoughts weighting down on Alfred's heart escape through the air he exhales. Ivan turns his face in and goes for a kiss. He misses and smooches the corner of the other's lips. Smiling, Alfred cups Ivan's face on one hand and joins their lips properly. And it was all great until Alfred noticed the smell and taste of Vodka and remembered that Ivan was drunk as f...

"Wait wait wait. Stop."

Alfred gets up. Suddenly he doesn't feel as heavy anymore. He picks his glasses from the floor and fixes his jacket.

"No good. Let's... try again when you're sober," He says after clearing his throat. However, Ivan was already passed out.

After realizing Ivan's done for the night, Alfred begins walking in circles around the room at a pace so fast he's almost hopping like a rabit. He feels so energized he might as well do it. He cover his mouth to muffle what would otherwise be uncontrollable squealing.

After the euphoria wears off the events that transpired moments ago sink in completely. In a single day did they just sort out years of buried feelings and childish grudges? Oh boy, no. But they sure had one hell of a start.

Now A stream of questions flooded Alfred's mind. With what had happened, does that mean they are lovers now? Will Ivan even remember what happened? If he doesn't remember, will he tell him and explain what happened? Would Ivan believe him and/or confirm his confession?

He doesn't know if he should feel happy or scared. More importantly, he's thinking whether or not he should stay over tonight. It's not like he doesn't want to go home. However, leaving a drunk person alone is always dangerous, even when they are asleep.  

As carefully as he can, Alfred takes off Ivan's shoes and leaves them next to the bed. He turns Ivan's body on its side and puts him on a position to lessen the choking risk in case he gets nauseous; although so far Ivan doesn't show signs of sickness. His breath is calm and follows a normal pace too.

A bit hesitant, Alfred decides to check Ivan's pockets, only so he doesn't crush or damage anything under his weight or when rolling on bed. He takes out Ivan's phone and wallet out of his pants and leaves them on the night table. Ivan didn't seem to have anything on his jacket, but then Alfred pulls out a now wrinkly folded paper sheet. He opens it and the more he examines it the more flustered he becomes. Of all the weird erotic art of them two their students had made, that one was by far the most detailed and realistic-looking as of yet.

He could only wonder where did that thing come from. Leaving the drawing together with the other objects, Alfred goes to pull the thickest blanket he can find out of the closet and covers Ivan with it. He rushes out of the room to lock the house properly, makes a trip to the kitchen, and then returns to Ivan with a tall glass of water, just in case.

Alfred leans close to Ivan and kisses his forehead, an affectionate, loud smooch. He sits on the bed again, close to Ivan's legs. The wisest thing to do for now is to stay there and take care of his beloved rival. At least until he wakes up. Whatever comes next for them they will figure. After a day like that, It's not like he will be able to fall sleep anyway.  

The End.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final note:

Writing this was one hell of a ride. This is my first fanfic ever, and I'm not a very good writer when it comes to prose. But I gave it my best shot, and wrote this with lots of love. I'm sorry if the overall tone or mood is too bittersweet or if the humour is kinda sour. I also hope Ivan and Alfred’s backstory wasn’t too hard or confusing to piece totgether. I'd still say the ending is a happy one, even if there's an air of uncertainty for the future haha. 

Thank you for reading and for your god-tier patience, Patch. I love your blog.

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

tagged by @agatharja

first rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! :)

... my anxiety won’t let me tag anyone because i’m afraid i’d be bothering them

second rule: Bold statements that are true

- I am 5'7 or taller (i fucking wiiiiiiiiiiiiiish)

- I wear glasses (i’m meant to but i don’t because they get dirty and that bothers me)

-I have at least one tattoo

- I have at least one piercing (6 distributed around my ears and 1 nose)

- I have blonde hair

- I have brown eyes

- I have short hair (hells yeah boi)

- My abs are at least somewhat defined (bitch i wish, fuck off)

- I have or had braces

PERSONALITY:

- I love meeting new people

- People tell me I am funny (ppl tell me nothing. also i never speak out loud)

- Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine (i mean i’d like to but i have no idea what to say)

- I enjoy physical challenges

- I enjoy mental challenges

- I am playfully rude to people I know (i mean kinda sometimes? idk)

- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it 

- There is something I would change about my personality (everything i would love to not be a bland robot)

ABILITY:

- I can sing well

- I can play an instrument (i can sort of play ukulele and guitar. and ocarina i guess lol. i also took recorder lessons when i was in primary school. now that was a bad time)

- I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol no)

- I am a fast runner (actually i can sprint really fast but for only like 10 seconds)

- I can draw well

- I have a good memory (HAHAHAHAHA NO)

- I am good at doing math in my head

- I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i used to when i was like a teen but my asthma and stuff has gotten real bad since then)

- I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling (idk probably i mean see aforementioned unbolded good memory i can’t even remember two days ago at all i must have beaten 2 people at arm wrestling. i mean i know i’ve wrestled the arm)

- I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch

- I know how to throw a proper punch (well i mean i can do a karate punch. you start with your fist closed and facing up, held next to like your hip and your elbow’s like pointed back, and then you thrust forward and up a bit and twist your fist down inwards, so you end up with it at chest level. idk)

HOBBIES:

- I enjoy sports (i feel like eventually i will end up watching something like women’s soccer or women’s basketball, because i am a pathetic virginal gay that can’t talk to and is unattractive to girls)

- I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (i tried out for soccer twice. since i’m a fatass they didn’t go well)

- I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (i was in primary school i have no idea why i think it’s cuz my grandma wanted me to be? but it wasn’t all bad i mean one time we went to like a choir competition and the conductor called me a boy so that was neat as fuck. man i got called a boy a lot when i was a kid it was fucking heaven compared to now, assholes calling me ma’am and shit man get fuckt)

- I have learned a new song in the past week (what does this mean? like to play on an instrument? bitch i can’t even concentrate long enough to learn Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe i just get discouraged and shit)

- I exercise at least once a week (listen i intend to rectify this and go swimming every day, now that i finally realised like last year that i actually have fucking dysphoria and that’s why i hated wearing swimsuits (aside from because i’m fat as shit and disgusting to witness in a fucking onepiece like what the fuck were my parents fucking thinking making me wear shit like that when i’m obese as sin) i’m gonna get board shorts and a rashguard and wear one of my less liked binders and it’ll be so fucking good)

- I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months (fuck off i’m not leaving my house in fucking summer it’s fucking 40°)

- I have drawn something in the past month

- I enjoy writing (man i haven’t properly written in like 7 years because idk depression but i still write stories in my head when i’m going to sleep at night and showering and whatever)

- Fandoms are my #1 priority

- I do some form of Martial arts (i used to do karate when i was uhhh 14?)

EXPERIENCES:

- I have had my first kiss (hahahahaha *sob* i fucking wish)

- I have had alcohol (yeah man i love jagerbombs and blue lagoons, defuckinglicious)

- I have scored a winning point in a sport (fuck sports)

- I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting (okay wait does this count for like rewatches? because when i saw my first anime i was obsessed with watching it - martian successor nadesico btw - for the entire day and that’s all i did, i sat in bed and watched it all morning to night)

- I have been at an overnight event (i meannnn when i went to see the last jedi slash meet some of my friends from my guild irl for the first time i stayed over at their house on the sofa and left the next morning does that count)

- I have been in a taxi (yeah it was only recently actually, our car fucking died and we had to take some convoluted fucking public transport out of our place from middle-of-dead-ass-fucking-nowhere-ville (needless to say i hate the suburb i live in. and country) to somewhere where we could get a taxi to a car rental place. or was it a dealership? i can’t fucking remember man do you see this shitty memory in action?? it was only like 2 years ago fuck me)

- I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (well i was IN a hospital but that’s because i was going to a dental clinic in the building)

- I have beaten a video game in one day (what game can you beat in a day man???)

- I have visited another country (i haven’t got enough fucking money lad)

- I have been to one of my favorite bands’ concerts (listen fuck you i’m totally counting livestreamed concerts, i’ve seen all of Steam Powered Giraffe’s youtube concerts and the one recorded in 2013 and you bet your ass i’m gonna pay $20 for the right to see the film of the anniversary concert)

MY LIFE:

- I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend (i kinda consider my friend bunny my best friend but i doubt he considers me his bestie)

- I live close to my school/work (HAHAHA GET REKT I TAKE MY UNI COURSES ONLINE AHAHAHA)

- My parents are still together

- I have at least one sibling (i mean technically i have 3 but i’ve never met them. at least i don’t think i have. they can get lost far as i’m concerned)

- I live in the United States (i wouldn’t live there if you paid me. maybe if obama were still president you could’ve got me to live there if you gave me like 5 million dollars, but now i would actually rather die)

- There is snow where I live right now (god i would fucking kill for some snow)

- I have hung out with a friend in the past month (yooo i was boutta unbold this because i have no fuckin friends except my online pals but then i remembered going to meet two of my friends from online and seeing star wars with them!! holy shit i feel validated and less lonely)

- I have a smartphone (samsung galaxy s6 BOI i am so fucking angry i was gonna hold out for the s7 cuz 7 is my second favourite fucking number (first is 14 but i wasn’t gonna wait a decade for that or w/e) anyway i finally decided to just get the s6 and the fucker asshole 7 is announced like a month later aaaaaarhghdks)

- I own at least 15 CDs (i have a whole fuck ton of videogames and they’re on CDs get owned HAHA FOILED but i also have probably about 15 CDs of music if i’m gonna count the stuff my family has)

- I share my room with someone (man my room isn’t even big enough for me how you gonna fit a whole nother person in that cupboard)

RELATIONSHIPS:

- I am in a Relationship (*cries uncontrollably*)

- I have a crush on a celebrity (well i mean i wouldn’t say no to like scarlett johansson if she told me she wanted to rail me. or gal gadot. or kate beckinsale. or kristen stewart. or - okay this is probably a massive list of ladies i want to rawdog me)

- I have a crush on someone I know (i’m slightly in love with all of my female friends because they show me kindness)

- I’ve been in at least 3 relationships (alright fucking buckle up kids: i don’t count online relationships because i’m a bitter person but when i was like 10 i was in a ‘relationship’ on runescape with a boy the same age at me and i legitimately think it was actually a kid like me and not a predator because all we did was stand next to each other and talk about cows or something and make the avatars kiss (we both had male avatars because i was obviously subconsciously aware of my gender identity at that stage). when i was like 13/14 i met a girl at a camp during the school holidays (i went to camp almost every holiday) and we chatted over msn after camp ended and tbh i think she forgot who i was because she suddenly said she liked me one day so i decided i liked her too and we started to ‘date’. lasted like 2 weeks? idk but she broke it off cuz i was inattentive (i can’t remember but i guess i could’ve been i’m not a very social person believe it or not *snicker*) anyway i saw her at the next two camps and it was hella fucking awkward the first time because i wanted to be friends with her but her other friends intimidated me so i just hovered around her creepily and she got angry at me and i got sad, but the 2nd time was a lot better i think, i was extremely distressed when i saw her at the bus station for the camp transport and i sulked the entire ride, but when we all got there i accidentally fell into her friend group (i actually think it’s because the other girls were really nice and they’d seen me sulking and wanted to cheer me up, man kinda fucked up huh) i pretty much ignored her the whole time and after camp ended she contacted me on msn for some reason and idk she like asked me how i’d felt when i saw her at camp and i was honest and told her i’d been pretty upset and then she got pissed at me and never spoke to me again. wow such drama huh? oh and my 3rd ‘relationship’ was when i was uhh 16/17-ish with this girl i met on some naruto fansite. i don’t even like naruto, and i actually remember absolutely nothing about my interactions with her. like at all. i don’t remember how we met or who dumped who or whatever bullshit. i’m not sure why this is i mean maybe it’s because this was at the same time i had a massive fucking obsessive infatuation with a girl at my school and well it didn’t turn out so hot and i think i’ve blocked out a lot of shit. anyway i hope you all enjoyed that wall of text haha of course you fucking didn’t. well tough titties me lad)

- I have never been in a relationship (*cries*)

- I have admitted my feelings to a crush (fuck no holy shit)

- I get crushes easily (yeah well if any female is nice to me i’m a goner. also one time during high school i started getting crushes on all the girls in my extended english class like i think it was a new girl each week. it was a tiny class there was only like 8 of us, no stinky boys (even if i’d realised i was trans at the time, i’m not stinky :P))

- I have had a crush for over a year (it was not fun)

- I have been in a relationship for over a year

- I have had feelings for a friend (do semi acquaintances count. or ‘girls that tolerated me enough to let me sit with them at lunch’)

RANDOM:

- I have break-danced

- I know a person named Jamie

- I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (listen i don’t fucking remember. but i’m good at pronunciations and shit anyway)

- I have dyed my hair (it was really short and blonde i kinda looked like a skinhead)

- I’m listening to a song on repeat right now (tongue tied from red dwarf)

- I have punched someone in the past week

- I know someone who has gone to jail

- I have broken a bone (broke my ankle in primary school because i’m fat and dumb and tried to slide along the grass into the safezone during tag or whatever, also i broke my wrist when i was 18 because i’m fat and dumb and i was learning how to drive a scooter but i went around a corner too slow or idk unbalanced or some shit, i think i broke the mirror on it but fuck that infernal machine i had to get fucking surgery and get pins in my wrist. when i got them out it was actually the closest i’ve ever come to fainting like the doctor dude was straining hard to pull these ones on the side out and when they finally popped out and a ton of blood gushed out i like deflated and teetered in my seat a bit it was an experience)

- I have eaten a waffle today (never had a waffle)

- I know what I want to do in life (well idk about an actual career but i want to write a book and get it published and make tons of bank)

- I speak at least two languages (i took japanese for 6 years don’t fucking tell me that doesn’t count just because i can’t carry a conversation in the language. also i took a class on latin for a semester it was dope af)

- I have made a new friend in the past year

[teesturtle]

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In the initial set mcdougal runs on the well-known saying introducing the woman’s subject.

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Scholarship Essay Case 1

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Hey everyone - this is Pat from Starter Story - where I do interviews with successful founders on how they got started.Today, I have an amazing interview with Theo Lee, founder of KPOP Foods. Their mission is about bringing people together and uplifting spirits through Korean food.This is such a great interview. I know it's long, but I really do think it's worth the read.Here are some of the stats:Average Monthly Revenue: ~6KRevenue since September 2017: 100KInstagram followers: 11KEmail subscribers: 10KIn business since February 2017!---Hello! Who are you and what are you working on?Hi, my name is Theo Lee and I’m the co-founder and CEO of KPOP Foods.Today, the brand and story behind a company is critical for success and sustainability as consumers are driven towards companies and products making an impact.KPOP Foods is a Korean food company inviting people to discover and enjoy Korean flavors through its food products. Our approach is to become the Red Bull of Korean food by bringing together mainstream culture, art, music, and food.My co-founder, Mike Kim, and I are both Korean Americans and launched KPOP Foods because we wanted to build a Korean food brand that people could resonate with and embrace.Our mission was and continues to be about bringing people together and uplifting spirits through Korean food and flavors. When we looked at the Korean food companies in the market, we couldn’t find one that represented this spirit, so we decided to do it ourselves.Our first product is KPOP Sauce, a Korean chili sauce based on my grandma’s 70-year old recipe using Korean chili paste (aka gochujang). We debuted KPOP Sauce through a successful Kickstarter campaign last year in April that funded within the first eight hours of our campaign.We received Kickstarter’s stamp of approval as "A Project we Love" and were featured as “A Project of the Day” and ended the Kickstarter campaign with nearly $40,000 from over 1,200 backers.In April of this year, we launched our second product, KPOP Sea Snacks, a premium roasted and all-natural seaweed snack made here in the US.While still fairly new, KPOP Sea Snacks is already an Amazon’s Choice product and was featured in FabFitFun (a women’s quarterly subscription box) and Pinterest’s limited-edition, specially co-branded box called the P100.Most recently, we announced our new Head of Product and Product Development, celebrity chef, Chris Oh.Chris is developing several new sauces that we intend to launch in November and is also opening his network for opportunities in marketing, content, and partnerships. We’re really excited to have Chris onboard and to be working with him!Since September of last year, we’ve generated nearly $100,000 in revenue, primarily all online through our website and Amazon. Our products have earned the coveted Amazon’s Choice badge because they are unique and well -reviewed.We’ve entered over 90 specialty stores throughout the west coast and are currently raising an investment round to expand our distribution into major retailers.What's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?Growing up in Korean American families, we were fortunate to be surrounded by Korean food all the time. However, along with the food, an important principle that was instilled in us was the connection between Korean food and family, friends, and fun.Mike and I met at business school at UCLA Anderson where we would take large groups of friends to Koreatown in Los Angeles to enjoy Korean food. Along with enjoying the food, our friends embraced the Korean culture and the energetic atmosphere.This is what sparked the idea for KPOP Foods. We wanted to replicate the sensory and social experience our friends had at Korean BBQ and share it with the world!I think a really important concept, especially for when just starting out, is being comfortable with launching things quickly.The UCLA Anderson community played, and continues to play, a major role in KPOP Foods. We took the concept and business plan for KPOP Foods through UCLA Anderson’s entrepreneurial classes and startup program called Business Creation Option, a field study option required for graduation.Prior to business school, Mike served in the U.S. Army and I came from a finance and banking background so neither of us had any real experience in food nor marketing.Our classmates, professors, and other members of faculty were instrumental in advising and helping us during our Kickstarter campaign, which launched during our final quarter at business school, and connecting us to potential investors, advisors, and food industry professionals.If you’d like to learn more, I’ve actually written a LinkedIn post about UCLA Anderson’s role in KPOP Foods.The Kickstarter campaign was key in validating our idea and giving us the confidence to pursue KPOP Foods full-time.But even before Kickstarter, we did hours of research, talking to CEOs and founders of other successful Kickstarter campaigns, running focus groups to test our brand story and variations of KPOP Sauce, and picking people’s brains on ideas for our Kickstarter video.We also found a way to create samples by buying little bento box soy sauce containers shaped like pigs and filling them up with KPOP Sauce to send to our friends and people interested across the nation.The samples were great as we were able to send them in the mail, keeping costs low as we paid for everything ourselves with our savings and credit cards. This was also helpful in getting the awareness of our Kickstarter campaign out to people.As MBA students, we had significant student loans and were presented with opportunities to work at great companies, but thanks to our Kickstarter campaign, we were able to raise an initial investment round, allowing us to pay ourselves a minimum salary to cover rent, loan payments, and basic living expenses.This was our chance to build something on our own and work for something that we truly loved so we dove right in.Describe the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing the product.Getting the ingredients rightThe reason we started with KPOP Sauce was because one of the key ingredients, gochujang (Korean chili paste), is a staple ingredient in Korean cuisine.Additionally, my grandma used to send me bottles of her gochujang sauce and my friends absolutely loved it, putting it on their eggs, grilled chicken, burgers, hot dogs, noodles, rice, and more.Given the versatility, we thought it was the right product to start with – a flavorful sauce that people could incorporate onto foods they already eat. Along with that, gochujang can be difficult to use given its thicker texture (think peanut butter), so the sauce made it much easier to use or cook with.We used my grandma’s recipe as a base and began tweaking things based on feedback. The most controversial ingredient turned out to be sesame oil – some people really liked it, others didn’t. When we removed the sesame oil, people still liked the sauce, so we took it out.Packaging & DesignWe also had to figure out the packaging, namely the bottle, cap, and label. Based on research and our focus groups, we wanted to be in a plastic bottle, so we went online and looked for as many different bottles as possible and asked people for their thoughts.We also used these bottles during the focus groups to test usability and to see which one people naturally gravitated towards.For label design, we found a designer, who I previously worked with at a previous startup, to help mock up some label designs. We gave him our story, ideas, and mock images to use as a style reference.We eventually narrowed the label designs down to two options and received feedback from friends and people. We also posted the designs to social media and received a ton of engagement and comments through that as well.Next, we had to find a manufacturer, or co-packer, to make our sauce at scale. I remember calling 15 to 20 different manufacturers and not getting anywhere, especially since we didn’t know how much we wanted to produce (time is literally money for manufacturers and since we hadn’t started our Kickstarter campaign, we didn’t know how much we needed to make in our first run).Finally, a co-packer we ended up working with, was nice enough to explain the process and offered to help.We learned that the first step was to find a food scientist to scale our recipe as things can quickly change when going from making small batches to hundreds of gallons.The food scientist would also help us with testing for shelf stability, analyzing the sauce for nutritional information, and submitting our application for the license to manufacture in California, otherwise known as a S-Letter.The person who explained the process to us sent over a list of potential food scientists - we were fortunate to find a food scientist through a friend of my uncle’s.I had several calls with the food scientist and met with him to make sure it was a good fit and he turned out to be great, explaining to us certain issues and basic concepts.Finding suppliersWhile the food scientist focused on the product, we shifted our focus towards finding suppliers, namely for packaging (bottles and caps) and key ingredients. We were fortunate to find a packaging supplier that was also able to assist with warehousing as the minimum order quantities for the bottles and caps were well above our first production run.Furthermore, we were able to negotiate a structure such that we only paid for the bottles and caps delivered to our manufacturer. This saved us a ton of money as the minimum order quantities for our caps was 25,000, yet we only needed 6,000 for our first run.Alongside packaging, we also sourced a quality ingredient supplier that turned out to be in the same area as our manufacturer, keeping the transportation costs low.After several months, we received our S-Letter and were ready to do our first production run for approximately 6,000 bottles. We’ve since completed 4 more production runs for KPOP Sauce, each time making small tweaks to the recipe as we’re always looking to improve.Chris is now working on developing several new sauces and we’ve already begun the development process and excited to launch the new products later this year.Describe the process of launching the business.Before launching our Kickstarter campaign, we made sure to have our website and social media accounts up and running.We bought the domain for kpopfoods.com through godaddy.com for less than $20 a year and used Shopify to build our website.In the beginning, we focused on building our social media accounts, mainly Instagram and Facebook. We used our website for credibility and a way to share our story while offering samples to promote our Kickstarter campaign.After fulfilling all of our Kickstarter orders on-time in August, we were ready to begin selling nationally through our website in September. We picked up a number of re-orders from our Kickstarter campaign in the first couple of weeks and also began testing Facebook and Google ads.In the beginning, we struggled to get conversions, leading to a higher customer acquisition cost than initially expected, however we learned a lot about our user flow and funnel. We’ve gone through countless iterations of our website to improve the UI/UX.In October, we entered Amazon through "Fulfillment By Amazon" (FBA) and this was when things really began to take off.We were fortunate to pick up a number of five-star reviews immediately from customers and Kickstarter backers, allowing us to become an “Amazon’s Choice” product within the first week. We soon became the #1 new selling chili sauce on Amazon for the next three consecutive months.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?As we started to see high levels of conversions on Amazon, sometimes as high as 30%, we began changing our digital marketing strategy.RetargetingWe were able to get clicks to our website at a very low cost per click, and thanks to some PR initiatives, SEO optimization, and content development (both video and blog articles), we were able to increase sessions to our website to 150 to 200 a day.We would then retarget our website visitors with Facebook ads, driving them to Amazon and continued to see high conversions. As we began talking to other CEOs and CMOs of food startups selling online, they mentioned that they were using the same strategy.The one downside to this strategy is that you can’t collect customers’ email addresses through Amazon - inhibiting your ability to retarget.InstagramWhile we’ve grown our Instagram account to over 10,000 followers, we’ve been using Instagram as a tool to partner with Korean restaurants and reach out to influencers we’d like to work with.We haven’t seen a significant amount of conversions from campaigns with Instagram influencers, however these partnerships have been successful in growing our following, driving traffic to our website, and providing creative assets for our e-mails, website, and ads.YouTubeWe’ve had success partnering with YouTube influencers, but it’s taken a lot of time, effort, and luck. When we first started cold e-mailing influencers, we didn’t get many responses.If you’ve ever had experience selling anything, you know it’s a numbers game and that was true here, but we really lucked out when Greg Mrvich, of Ballistic BBQ (230K+ subscibers), got back to us.He also resided in Southern California and was empathetic to our struggles as a newly minted startup. It also helped that Greg was a huge fan of Korean food. We sent him some samples of our sauce and the rest is history.He creates these amazing, mouth-watering videos featuring culinary BBQ masterpieces and we can’t thank him enough for his help!PartnershipsAlong with YouTube influencers, we’ve been able to partner with other companies, such as subscription boxes leveraging our success on Kickstarter, online sales, earned media, and prior relationships.We use past partnerships as credibility to fuel the next one giving other parties multiple reasons to collaborate with us. We are honest in our communications, prompt in our responses, and detailed in our work. We use every success as a stepping stone to reach up and find better opportunities.We’ve partnered with subscription boxes such as Bespoke Post and BBQ Box, and each partnership has led to increased website traffic and new customers.Our latest partnership for KPOP Sea Snacks was with women’s quarterly subscription box, FabFitFun, and Pinterest in their limited-edition, specially co-branded box called the P100, a box reflecting Pinterest’s top trends for 2018.Partnerships like these can help in multiple ways from generating direct sales, increasing brand exposure, to acquiring a new group of potential customers. We see large influxes of website visitors at the onset of announcements and steady traffic for the duration of a partnership.We are generally able to cater to these new audience by creating unique landing pages or offering special discounts only offered to them.So how did we source these kickass deals? Apart from what I mentioned above about using accomplishments to get one deal, and then using that deal to source another, it comes down to goodwill and building relationships. Here’s an example:Our Kickstarter success can be attributed to what we learned by reaching out to the founders of other successful campaigns. We paid that collaborative, sharing mentality forward by talking to anyone that reached out to us for Kickstarter advice or business advice in general.Months after helping one such person, that individual connected us to one of her friends, working at an amazing brand that just so happened to be looking for amazing Korean-inspired products. And voila! Relationships matter and have led to some of our biggest achievements.No matter how busy we are, I think we can all agree that we can spare 20 minutes out of a day to talk to someone or help someone out. Help other people out without expect anything in returnEmailLastly, a new initiative that we’ve been focused on is email marketing. Through a platform called Dojo Mojo, we’ve been able to partner with companies to run giveaway campaigns and through just three campaigns, we’ve been able to grow our e-mail list by over 500%.While email marketing has always been great way to keep in touch with our initial customer groups to drive repeat purchases, gathering new emails is essential to widening our top sales funnel and increasing revenues.There are so many different objectives a company can hit with e-mail marketing (e.g., web traffic, referrals, conversions, education, etc.). The greatest part of e-mail marketing is that it is extremely cost efficient and targeted – we don’t spend on advertising and we get prime placement in the mailbox of our would-be and existing customers.Specialty Retail StoresA specialty sauce distributor reached out to us after the completion of our Kickstarter campaign and we’ve been working with them to get our products into their network of specialty stores nationwide.These stores we’re placed in are generally independent grocers (think mom-and-pop shops), but our experience has taught us much about selling in retail as we look towards expanding distribution. It’s one thing to get into a retailer and another to ensure your products are selling in that retailer.Sell-thru in a store can depend on, but are not limited to the following: customer demographics, store location, product price points, promotions/discounts, and sampling. Our success in these stores have served as validation that we must expand our distribution in order to scale and take our company to the next level.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?Since September of last year, we’ve generated nearly $100,000 in revenue, primarily all online through our website and Amazon (about a 50/50 split in revenue by channel).We are currently in the middle of fundraising to expand our distribution outlets, develop new products, and hire new talent. Since February of this year, we’ve entered over 90 specialty stores throughout the nation and are now receiving interest from distributors and larger retail chains.We’re also partnering with restaurants and coffee shops, such as Everytable and The Hive in Los Angeles.As mentioned previously, e-mail marketing has been showing promising signs. That’s the name of the game for startups. It’s a bunch of testing and finding out what’s working and what’s not.We now have a list of over 10,000 subscribers. We’re constantly A/B testing variables such as day, time, content, subject line, and so on to improve our open and click rates.In product development, Chris is focused on launching 3-4 new variations of KPOP Sauce in the 4th quarter of this year. We’re also looking into developing 2-3 new flavors of KPOP Sea Snacks to launch at the beginning of 2019. It’s been exciting getting sneak peaks at the recipes in development and we can’t wait to share them with everyone!For e-commerce, we target a gross margin north of 33% - the higher the better. This is absolutely necessary if we plan on expanding distribution to physical stores. Online, we don’t get as many sales as we would if we were in multiple grocery stores, so an extra $0.75 per order, goes a long way.Secondly, our margins include shipping expenses that we incur as we provide free shipping for all our products (shipping is quite costly especially if you have heavy or bulky product!). Our online price for our products minus shipping expenses will generally set the suggested retail price (SRP) for our physical retailers.Traditionally, one could follow the 1/3 rule to expand distribution into physical retail stores. That is, 33% margin for you (the manufacturer), your distributor, and the end retailer.Today’s retail landscape is rapidly changing, and many distributors and retailers are requiring higher margins as they’re facing competition at an unprecedented level.While it’d be great to be able to do direct deals with retailers, until we have a suite of products or our own distribution network (hopefully one day), we must partner with distributors to scale.With the increase in distribution and launch of new products, our revenues are projected to grow quickly in the coming months and we’re working on ensuring that we’re operationally prepared.We also have a lot of plans for upcoming partnerships, content, and experiential marketing events. We’re not just talk. We’re out to prove we’re not your average food brand. We’re going to revolutionize the way people view and taste food in the consumer-packaged goods (CPG) space.Our vision is to be the premier Korean food company for America – that KPOP products be in every pantry across the nation. To get there, KPOP Foods will need to be the Red Bull of Korean food by bringing together mainstream culture, art, music, and food.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?Cultivate a great teamIt’s tough to go about it alone. Find a partner and build a team. I think one thing that truly helps is finding a great co-founder to work with.I’m incredibly lucky to have Mike as my co-founder and there is absolutely no way in possible I could imagine KPOP Foods being where it is today without him. While we are both very different in so many ways, the one thing that we share is a strong work ethic.We push each other to continuing fighting and overcoming setbacks and obstacles and having someone there with you is a huge relief. There have been so many times where I was tied up and had to leave things off with Mike and knowing that he’ll take care of everything is paramount.Launch quicklySecondly, I think a really important concept, especially for when just starting out, is being comfortable with launching things quickly. Early on, it’s hard to get everything perfect and you have to become comfortable with things being launching that may not be 100% perfect or may not be what you had initially envisioned.If you’re constantly waiting for your product or service to be perfect, odds are by the time you’re completely satisfied with it, you’ve exhausted your resources and missed out on the timing of your opportunity. Fail quick, learn quick.ReflectLastly, I realize that at the early stages of building a company, this is very hard to do, but you should always try to find time to reflect on things to think of how you can improve or do something better.It’s very hard to find time to do this, but I think it’s very important for a number of reasons – you may realize that worrying about something wasn’t worth your time at all or didn’t have an impact on the business or you may find that if you had something slightly differently, there could have been a lot of new added value.This is also something good to do with your team as they’re also likely in the middle of many different things and receiving their feedback and points of view may help you down the road as well.What platform/tools do you use for your business?After researching the various platforms businesses use for e-commerce, we found that Shopify was the best choice due to its convenience in website design, product setup/integration, and fulfillment.We utilize the native shipping tools on Shopify that include discounted shipping labels. As a CPG company that deals with a lot of inventory, Shopify’s backend could adequately support. We’ve had no issues thus far.Within Shopify, we use the app, Shogun, for frontend design. For example, we can use it to change the layout of our landing pages or products pages, and even affect how our pages look on mobile vs. desktop.It took some time to master, but it’s pretty user-friendly and is much more affordable than hiring full-time web developers. I like their snippet function that allows us to save formatted designs that we can easily access and use at another time.We use Sumo, another Shopify app, to generate our pop-ups for e-mail lead capture. I like the app because it’s intuitive to use and easily allows us to run A/B tests to see what kind of offers, content, or copy language performs the best.We can run different pop-ups on specific pages, control when a visitor sees these forms, and what happens when a visitor submits his or her e-mail.Google Analytics (GA) is a must for e-commerce store owners. It’s free to use and comprehensively tracks nearly everything we need to know about our website visitors and the actions they take on site. These visitors are all potential customers. By identifying and optimizing their pathways, we can increase sales and conversions.For example, if our homepage has the highest bounce rate (percentage of visits in which a visitor leaves our website without browsing any other page) we know we can examine the source of the traffic or our homepage design/messaging to affect the bounce rate.Lowering the bounce rate means that visitors are spending more time on our website, which increases the likelihood of conversion. This is just one example of the myriad of uses of GA. If you’re interested in learning more, Google provides a lot of free online classes on GA. It is truly a powerful tool worth investing in.What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?One book that I really enjoyed was "Power to People: The Inside Story of AES and the Globalization of Electricity". This book focused on several topics, but the founders’ focus on culture and empowering employees to make decisions is something I hope to drive forward at KPOP Foods.I want to say that most of you reading this right now have already read "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. But in the off chance, you haven’t, you should. It applies to every aspect of life, not just business.I’m amazed at how, even 80+ years since it was first written, the principles still apply. If a person would try to adhere to any of the principles mentioned in this book, it would positively impact his or her relationships with friends, colleagues, and significant others.Finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t thank UCLA Anderson and the UCLA Anderson Venture Accelerator for all the support they’ve given us these past 18 months.They provided us a beautiful, collaborative working space to build our company, access to industry professionals and investors, and a chance to work alongside some amazing companies like Alcatera, Habit Nest, and Textpert just to name a few. These relationships have been invaluable and have helped us move rapidly while avoiding costly mistakes.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Entrepreneurship is not for the faint hearted. You’ll need grit and passion – and a whole lot of it. Creating a successful business requires massive amounts of action, perseverance, and conviction.It’s not something you can build in one, two, or even three years. It’s a long-term battle filled with many sacrifices and tribulations.Pursuing the path of entrepreneurship will most likely be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done in your life.This isn’t to dissuade any of you. Because while starting your own business may be the most difficult feat you’ve ever attempted, stay true to your course, your dream, and it’ll also be your most rewarding accomplishment.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?Yes, we’re looking for a VP of Marketing or Marketing Associate to join our team full-time. The person would oversee paid marketing (Facebook, Amazon, and Google Ads), email marketing, social media, brand partnerships, website, and public relations.Additionally, this person would also have an opportunity to get involved in product design and content developmentWe are also always looking for interns interested in finance, accounting, data analytics, and marketing. If you’re interested in working in a startup or becoming an entrepreneur, it’s a great opportunity to get experience.It’s a fast-paced and challenging environment where you’ll learn tremendously and see the results of your actions on a daily basis.Where can we go to learn more?WebsiteFacebookInstagram[Email](mailto:yummy@kpopfoods.com)Amazon KPOP Foods Brand Page---Liked this story? I've done nearly 100 interviews with similar founders at StarterStory.com.

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Required Reading

Spanish furniture designer Fernando Abellanas has a new “creative home” under a highway underpass in Valencia and it looks hilarious. (via Colossal)

Jean-Michel Basquiat is having his first solo show at a UK museum (unbelievable, right?) and the Guardian speaks to people who knew him well:

So perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that everyone I talk to who knew Basquiat when he was alive, from girlfriends to collectors, musicians to painters, speaks about him as special. Still, it’s noticeable that they all do. Basquiat – even before he was acknowledged as an artist – was seen by his friends as exceptional.

“I knew when I met him that he was beyond the normal,” says musician and film-maker Michael Holman, who founded the noise band Gray with Basquiat. “Jean-Michel had his faults, he was mischievous, he had certain things about him that could be called amoral, but setting that aside, he had something that I’m sure he had from the moment he was born. It was like he was born fully realised, a realised being.”

“He was a beautiful person and an amazing artist,” says Alexis Adler, a former girlfriend. “I recognised that from the get-go. I knew he was brilliant. The only person around that time I felt the same thing about was Madonna. I totally, 100% knew they were going to be big.”

The title says it all:

“The Most Important Skill I Learned at Art School: How to Bullshit“

Ok, here’s some more:

The first few months at art school dramatically changed my perception of where I fit in on the class scale. I was easily one of the poorest kids on campus. Of course there were other poors, like me. These were people taking on massive amounts of debt, who wouldn’t allow themselves to purchase a cup of coffee, and who wore clothes their grandma had bought them before their freshman year of high school. The poors blended in pretty well, though. Art school is a great equalizer. Intentionally insane and disgusting attire was expected and encouraged, found objects counted as fine art, and eating cheap microwavable garbage was viewed as good time management. Plus, no one assumes you are poor when you’re attending a college that costs $30,000 a year. No one is looking at you for clues of your poverty.

Making political comics in the United States has a long lineage and this article looks at the state of the artists engaged in the form today:

When Benjamin Franklin decided to draw his famous “Join or Die” artwork and submit it to the Pennsylvania Gazette in 1954, he started what is now known as the modern day political cartoon. Since then, political cartooning has not only provided a way for artists and writers to express themselves, but they also have been able to do so freely under the First Amendment.

From the President’s tweets to natural disasters to the resurrected argument refuting science and claiming that the world is actually flat, there is literally no shortage of material for the satirical medium. And they are no longer regulated to just the back of the newspaper. Now political comics are available in webcomic format, as ebooks and yes, even in print. Many artists are using their talents to criticize, protest and report. Often with a bird’s-eye view of society.

How the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston prepared for Hurricane Harvey:

Shemon Bar-Tal, the chief technology officer, was there to keep data flowing across the facilities. (Even the parking lots are connected to the digital system.) He could move infrastructure if necessary. And he double-checked the disaster-recovery site he’d installed since Tropical Storm Allison, when the museum lost most of its communication equipment.

The team would split 18-hour shifts, sleeping six hours if they could, in their offices or designated quiet zones. The freezer was full. Air mattresses inflated. Ample water supplies ready. And each of them had a handy-dandy list of emergency contacts (including first and second responders) in their pockets, printed on a slip of waterproof Tyvek, just in case.

And then the MFAH’s senior decorative arts conservator gives artists advice for salvaging water-damaged belongings:

The first step is to get your belongings to safety and get them clean. That will keep mold at bay and will go a long way toward saving your flooring, furniture, textiles and other things.

While many people recommend using bleach water for cleanup and mold prevention, Pine and his colleagues – experts at preserving museum-quality valuables – prefer a mixture of 7 parts alcohol and 1 part water.

This nonprofit is saving historic churches in the US state of Georgia through careful documentation:

However, the process is not as simple as driving to a church, snapping a few photos, and reading a handy historical marker to learn its history.

“The church stories and histories are widely scattered, and a lot of it has been lost. It’s very difficult to retrieve it, especially so in African-American communities,” Seals laments. Armed with a network of volunteer photographers who live in all parts of the state, the organization has documented more than 200 churches that are, in many cases, in danger of disappearing. They find the history in local libraries and oral histories. Frequently, however, it’s a struggle to compile a complete history.

A new team has come up with a cosmic hypothesis for the mysterious beachings of sperm whales last year:

Mass sperm whale strandings have been recorded since the Middle Ages, but Vanselow was specifically interested in one that occurred in the winter of 2016, when 29 male sperm whales washed ashore in Germany, Britain, France and The Netherlands. Autopsies revealed that the whales were all healthy aside from some debris in nine of their bellies, not enough to kill them.

Vanselow realized that many animals, including cetaceans, navigate via the Earth’s magnetic field (he has studied the effect of magnetic anomalies on whale behavior in the past). The team collected data on the magnetic field’s strength and the angles it made with the Earth, and noticed that just before the strandings began, some measuring stations recorded magnetic field changes from solar storms, flares of particles blasting off of the Sun and streaming at Earth. He and his co-authors published their findings in the International Journal of Astrobiology last month.

This US propaganda flyer distributed in Afghanistan has caused an uproar because of local attitudes towards dogs (which is negative) and the fact that a koranic verse was superimposed on the animal (the thread has more):

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. This is a propaganda leaflet the US military distributed in Afghanistan a few days ago./1 http://pic.twitter.com/Gr3Zv5B8LT

— Dan Murphy (@bungdan) September 6, 2017

That photo of men golfing as forests burn in the background went viral this week and yes, it is a real photo (many thought it was digitally manipulated):

In the pantheon of visual metaphors for America today, this is the money shot. http://pic.twitter.com/09COuDutBC

— David Simon (@AoDespair) September 7, 2017

The golf/fire photo is real, just zoomed in with a very long telephoto lens. https://t.co/KLLOvOT2Gb https://t.co/TWoZILewXO

— PicPedant (@PicPedant) September 7, 2017

The week, the man who witnessed the abduction of Emmett Till died:

Simeon Wright was only 12 at the time. He was sharing his bed with Emmett the night of Aug. 27 when two white men — Carolyn Bryant’s husband, Roy, and his half brother, J. W. Milam — abducted Emmett at gunpoint.

It was Simeon who identified Emmett’s ring for the police a few days later, after his cousin’s beaten body, one eye gouged out, had been fished from the Tallahatchie River, weighted down with a 75-pound cotton gin fan tethered to his neck with barbed wire.

And it was Mr. Wright who five decades later would donate a sample of his DNA, helping federal prosecutors prove that the disfigured body — the one the nation saw in shocking photographs of the open coffin — was Emmett’s. (The defendants had claimed they could not be convicted because the victim was never conclusively identified.)

If anyone tells you art doesn’t change anything, then read them this passage:

Incredible story about the role of Beat poet Gary Snyder in one of the most consequential leaks in US history. It's legit. Via Randy Roark. http://pic.twitter.com/AV59lJCzQR

— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) September 8, 2017

Required Reading is published every Sunday morning ET, and is comprised of a short list of art-related links to long-form articles, videos, blog posts, or photo essays worth a second look.

The post Required Reading appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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