#i will literally pay someone
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I need a good drastoria fic I'm actually going to die I'm being starved of them I want to consume them so bad but there's NOTHING THERE plz if any of you have found anything give it to me right now I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure this is literally me without drastoria
#if I just keep having to project them onto scenes of Cece and Schmidt in New Girl I may actually finally go completely insane#why 😭 is 😭 there 😭 nothing#harry potter has a massive fandom and for what??? for yall to ignore dracos wife and turn yourself into hermione self inserts???#someone just kill me#most of my hatred for dramione comes from the lack of drastoria ngl#if someone could feed me some drastoria i may shut up about dramione 🫶🏻🫶🏻#i will literally pay someone#does someone wanna write a drastoria fanfic and then i happen to give you money 😭😭#yes i could write it myself but im untalented and busy#i want a drastoria film someone make one immediately#god i miss them#literally my parents for realz#we deserved more astoria in cursed child like come on#scorbus#hpcc#drastoria#astoria greengrass#the light of my life
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i need someone to make a sfm animation of nick and ellis dancing to you can never tell by chuck berry and doing the dance from pulp fiction together
#l4d#l4d2#left 4 dead#left 4 dead 2#nick l4d2#ellis l4d2#nellis#nellis l4d2#it would be Perfect#i will literally pay someone#going to force myself to learn sfm just so i can do this
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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On one hand, Young Justice is kind of neglected by the actual superheroes that should be looking out for them in a lot of crucial ways and very much failed by the adults around them
But on the other hand Red Tornado straight up hosts a parent-teacher conference where their respective legal guardians all show up, barring Batman who’s in traffic so Nightwing fills in instead because Robin’s dad does not know he’s a vigilante which is objectively hilarious
#Superboy does not have a name and his ass is constantly getting groomed like Clark please take a more active role in his life#And all of these guys need a healthy interaction with their respective legacies that does not involve heroing#Take them out for lunch! Play a video game with them! Let them be a kid around you without getting criticized!#Red Tornado had barely reconnected with his own humanity and he’s taken a more active role in being like they are safe happy and learning#compared to the people who literally are the reason they exist in the first place#and is the only one who seems to recognize their potential and ability as a team! and he wants others to know that!#and it’s kind of heartbreaking because the JLA should be paying attention to them and noticing how they succeed and instead just show up#at the worst possible time and take things out of context and criticize them and bestie I bet you they are a lot better of a hero#than *you* were at 14-16 because they actually are going out and making a difference and saving people#but the ones who should support them the most are barely there for them at all#someone give these kids healthy and appropriate emotional support I am begging you#yj#young just us#young justice#yj98#bart allen#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#superboy#robin#dc impulse#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#cissie king jones#arrowette#greta hayes#slobo dc#empress#anita fite
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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I do want to say altho I'm very pro shoplifting it is not something to take lightly. it is something that can and WILL get u in a lot of trouble if you get caught at the wrong place and wrong time. I know a lot of people will get comfortable with it and not think much of doing it but u really do have to be careful and smart Abt it . The best case scenario of getting caught is u get banned from a store you probably really like and worst is you get arrested and have charges pressed against you
#best thing 2 do if u get caught play dumb liek 'oh my god i forgot!! im so sorry ill pay for this i didnt even realize i was holding it"#most places say we literally cannot make assumptions we arent allowed to accuse someone of shoplifting#and this isnt always like. a gaurentee most places arent allowed to prosecute u but some will#its good to always b careful and prepared
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like yeah obviously legality does not correlate to morality and i personally do not think ip laws should exist. however the reason i find it relevant to emphasize that selling fanfiction is illegal is not to make some moral stand about the sanctity of ip so much as to be like. hey this is the way it fucking is and if u break the law by selling fic u run the risk of creating larger legal troubles for entire communities of fic writers who just want to share their work for free. also more to the point the reason selling fic is so shitty is that it is a question of labor exploitation. i spent hundreds of hours creating something which you are now packaging and selling to make a profit without compensating me for my labor, which is not only exploitative but spits in the face of the spirit in which this fanfiction was shared—as a labor of love, meant to be free to anyone who wanted to read it. and the gag is that if u did want to fairly compensate me for my labor it would literally be thousands of dollars (assuming i’m charging even minimum wage for time spent writing & editing) which is why it isn’t fucking possible to sell fanfiction for a fair price!! all that on top of the fact that i (and many other fic writers) explicitly say “don’t sell or buy bound copies of my fic” just makes it flat-out undeniable that this is a fucking shitty thing to do, and i genuinely have no sympathy for people who go “wait what i’m not supposed to sell or buy fanfiction 🥺🥺🥺” like shut the fuck up i hate u
#literally plagiarize the shit out of my work i don’t care hell u can copy and past my fic and repost it on ao3 under a different title and#i’ll probably just shrug. but once money starts exchanging hands it ignites a visceral rage in me#also the fact that i found out about this while working at my shitty job i hate bc i have to pay my fucking rent#meanwhile there’s someone on fucking etsy selling my hours and hours of labor for hundreds of dollars. ok#ranting and raving#txt
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If I had a nickel for every time I had an alien with a portable pocket dimension who's likely the last of their kind as a comfort character, i'd have two nickels. /ref
#wander over yonder#woy wander#woy fanart#monkey wrench#shrike sanchez#this is the most niche drawing ive ever made gat damm#going from drawing wander to drawing shrike gave me whiplash lol the styles are so different#also drawing shrike was LITERAL HELL i cant imagine BUCKIGN ANIMATING HIM---MONKEY WRENCH ANIMATORS WHAT ARE YOU ON????#i would pay someone to make a comic of these two interacting (i could do it but im way too lazy)#i cant believe i spent so much time on this stupid doggarn thing im gonna cry /lh#also the height difference between these two is insane I made shrike kneel and wander is STILL barely in frame HAHH
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This family dinner is gonna fucking suck
#'ox-eyed' is a term I stole from Homer (along with 'dog faced')#In this cultural context the term is used to compliment brown eyes. Not just applied to brown eyes in general but to describe#someone's as uniquely pretty (usually with the implication of a soft or calm gaze). Applied more frequently to women than men.#I've gone over Ganmachen before but that one refers to the ox birth sign and is a mostly complimentary epithet for people who#have the associated traits. It literally means 'ox faced' but the mache/machen word for face doesn't refer to the anatomical face#rather some perceived essential/fundamental aspect of one's nature being their 'face'#There's a ton of other '-faced' epithets both in regards to birth signs and not#and adding the -machen suffix to a description of a person emphasizes the quality being described#Like calling someone 'brave-faced' would be a bigger compliment than just 'brave'- describes this bravery as fundamental to their being#(I don't write this kind out in-text though because the concept of 'faced as descriptive emphasis' doesn't work in english)#(I'd just say like 'very brave' or etc)#'braileig' is the term for a horse foal in the western Highlands dialect. This started as Brakul insulting Janeys with the descriptor#'little lost foal in a blizzard' (which more biting than it sounds- describes someone as pitifully helpless). Janeys was paying#more attention than he thought and had picked up enough to recognize that he was being called a horse baby. Brakul eventually#started using just 'braileig' as a nickname
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UMMMM
WHAT? IS??? THIS??????
THIS TIK TOK WITH A BEAUTIFUL EDIT JUST DROPS A BOMB SAYING THERE’S A BIRTH CERTIFICATE ON TWITTER AND I FIND THIS????? WITH NO EXPLANATION????
SERESHAWS YOU CANT JUST DO THAT TO ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
HIS MIDDLE NAME IS JACOB?
HE WAS BORN IN HONOLULU??
I AM UNWELL
#UPDATE: not real v sad#honestly saw it coming let’s be real#SOMEONE EXPLAIN#MY HAWAIIAN SUN KISSED BOY#MY PEARL HARBOR MILITARY BASE BOY#I AM UNWELL#no srsly pls#pls help me what is this?????#how has no one told me about this???#MY SURFING VOLLEYBALL PLAYING HAWAIIAN????#HAWAII?!?!?!#IF YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS YOU MUST COME FORWARD AND PAY FOR HIDING INFORMATION FROM ME#I’m not mad I promise#I’m literally ecstatic#top gun#tom kazansky#top gun: maverick#iceman#top gun maverick#top gun iceman#pete mitchell#icemav#my boys#ron kerner#everyone needs to see this#tgm#tgm 1986#top gun 1986#sorry not sorry for all the tags#I can’t rn guys
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i hate j*lian b*shir fans. he's like the spock of DS9 in the sense that literally all of you vote for him in polls no matter what the question is just because you wanna fuck this out of character version of him you made up in your head
#censoring his name because you know someone's gonna be like ''UM DON'T PUT YOUR HATE IN THE TAGS BITCH!!!!!!"#i literally LIKE julian i just think 99% of people whose favorite DS9 character is julian are annoying and mischaracterize him like crazy#julian fans don't pay attention to literally any other character except maybe g*rak and they do the same shit but even worse with him#anyway the biggest wet cat of DS9 is NOT julian with a 20%+ lead above everyone else. it's ODO. what the fuck are you TALKING about
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Blocked for blazing
literally someone else blazed that post and I only saw it while checking my notifications. i don't know what to tell you.
#someone gifted me premium last year it literally ends at the end of this month#why would i would pay for no ads when adblock exists
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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100,000 dollars is not a lot of money.
it is also a lot more money than i will ever have. my student loans make up half of that - they're coming back, i'm told, like we all bounced back recently. the other day while paying for gas to go to work, i overdrew my account without knowing it.
i sat in the car and looked at the charge and tried to do the math. where the fuck is the money even going? i don't live extravagantly. i live in a hole in the ground, in an apartment the size of a sneeze; covered in ants. yes, i wanted to live close to a population center. maybe that's my fault. i've downloaded the apps and i've spoken to the experts and i've cut back on excess. i can't help the pharmacy bills or the medical debt.
i have a good, well-paying job. when i googled it to see if i was getting a fair salary, i found out i'd be making "upper middle class" money. which doesn't make sense - is "upper middle class" now just "able to afford a one-bedroom without a roommate". when i was younger, upper-middle meant a nice big house and a backyard and vacations and not flinching about eating at a resturant.
i was talking to my friend who is a realtor. he said 100,000 dollars is extremely cheap for housing. he's not wrong. 100,000 dollars would change my life. 100,000 dollars also won't really buy you anything. it could get you out of debt, potentially, if you were lucky and had a certain amount of scholarships to tack onto your degree. you could pay off the car and then have enough left over for "spending" money. how fucking amazing. one vacation, maybe two if you're thrifty. and then - like magic - the money would evaporate into nothing. people would sigh and tell you see, you should have put it into savings! like "upper middle class" people can't afford to value "actually living" over squirrelling wealth. you should spend your life only in scarcity. like that is what made the rich people all their real "actually a lot of money".
100,000 dollars would literally set me free. it also would just set me back to "earning normally" instead of paying down debt into infinity. god, do you know how many of us just want that? that our first thought is we could stop scrambling and just be free of debt if we won the lottery? that we don't even necessarily need to stop working - we just wouldn't have to worry about failing or falling?
and. at the same time. 100,000 dollars is next to fucking nothing.
#writeblr#me paying my taxes this year:#haha good to know im literally doing more for my community out of my tiny apartment#than most corporations will do in their entire scope! :) these motherfuckers will NEVER pay taxes!!!#bc they lobby others to be sure we CHOKE :) !!!#i hope this is clear like. this isn't someone being like ''haha if i got 100k it wouldn't be a big deal''#it's more like. the gap between corporations and the ppl WORKING in those corporations#has become HORRIFIC. 100k to the company i work for is like. pocket change to them.#and it is LIFE CHANGING for me.#they could cut me a check for 100k tomorrow and not even budge their margin of error
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Post-Crooked Kingdom Kaz having to reckon with the fact that his life long quest for revenge on Pekka Rollins has actually just made him more miserable, and even though now it’s fulfilled and Rollins has paid for what he did, Kaz is still right where he was at the start: an angry, abandoned boy who misses his brother, except now he’s no longer alone is something that can be SO personal actually
#thinking about Kaz hours………..#I start 🚬🍷🤠#no but literally like#him thinking in the harbor ‘he had to live. someone had to pay’ and now Rollins has paid and his entire goal in life is fulfilled#what do you do now??? how do you go on#I need SOC III NOW#Leigh please 🙏#six of crows#betsey rambles#kaz brekker
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au where the el tigre tiger spirit is an ancient and sort of prehistoric spirit in the wildest reaches of the ghost zone, and the belt allows it to like... 1/4 possess someone (just giving them some extra powers [including retractible chain hands?? ghosts, idk] without affecting their personality)
#el tigre#nicktoons unite#as a result of this El Tigre is very hard to possess. theres already someone in there. get your own meat puppet skulker#mannys still 100% susceptible to overshadowing lol its a nontransferable skill#man i just think danny n manny should get an Explore the ghost zone episode#maybe precipitated by the belt not working.. manny grappling with the possibility that he may never be able to be El Tigre again...#or manny getting 100% possessed channeling the tiger spirit..something that existed millennia before good and evil..super powerful but fera#but also if normal El Tigre possession gives you just like a scoch of tiger spirit. like youve had a single shot of whiskey#el tigre is just a little more intense focused and scary than manny.. not enough to really notice unless you pay attention#also i had literally nothing else i wanted to work on so i put hours of sauce into this while staying up for work OTL#i wayyyy overdid it lol i shouldve quit an hour ago. so it goes#please admire my badly drawn tiger and excruciatingly drawn stripes... please clap
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