#i will genuinely be upset if you pick the mean option tho

[luffyvace]

STRAW HAT HEADCANONS

YUP YUP

as a thx for being patient for me not posting all day-

you get the whole crew!! :)

(some of these are based off true stories i’ve heard of from my friends 😭🧍‍♀️)

Luffy

never a peaceful day goes by

hes the type of guy that has to make noise if it’s “too silent”

like bro can’t we get some peace and quiet??

thrives in chaos

his eye to hand coordination is on point bc this man doesn’t think before he does ANYTHING

steals things from his crew even

if he sees something he likes he just takes it

he goes into the bathroom, puts boogers on the tissue then leaves

doesn’t even take it off or flush it

the next person who has to use that bathroom is mortified

when nami finds out and holds a whole meeting to find out who did this terrible act of crime

they find out it’s him he just laughs

per usual

stop this madness.

(he doesn’t)

Zoro

also a menace

not as straightforward with it though

its more like if he gets water everywhere when washing his hands

or spills his drink when pouring it

or pee all over the toilet

he’s kinda like oh whoops

(for future reference- my apologies for who ever you simp for here bc these headcanons don’t hold back)

anyway

sometimes he doesn’t shower after he trains

and just walks in the kitchen full body REEKING 😭😭😭

seriously dude take a shower

”i’ll cool off eventually”

THAT AINT GONNA GET RID OF THE STENCH

it makes me doubt he changes his underwear often enough

he leaves empty water bottles everywhere

it’s worse in the crows nest trust

Nami

thankfully this poor victim isn’t nearly as much as a menace

as long as you pay your beli

is genuinely willing to wait as long as it takes to get that money

and if you die she’s taking your life insurance

if your a pirate and have none she probably just takes whatever money and belongings you own

if it’s gems she’ll keep them but otherwise

she sells your clothes and other stuff that’s not worth much

smells like flowers

yes i said it

every time she comes out the shower something chaotic has happened

ah what a refreshing shower..

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUFFY UPSET ANOTHER GOD 😱

😡✊ 🤣 💥 😓 😑

you can guess what happened

Usopp

his luck heavily fluctuates

sometimes he can get away with stealing. from. nami.

wow.

to other times getting blamed for farting

by luffy

and no one likes that feeling

has a better fashion sense but just chooses to dress how he does

no reason really

he can do hair and paint nails

nail painting he learned from kaya

would love horse back riding if he tried

he would suck at first tho

likes little children but they always end up beating him up for some reason

‘his cooking isn’t that good!’

‘let’s jump him!’

‘yeah!!’

besides the usopp pirates—they just do

Sanji

he could pull if he just stopped simping so hard

opla sanji is proof

his favorite thing to cook is spicy foods

him and chopper bond over spices bc some are good for your health and all

chopper sometimes recommends new herbs to put in foods

and vice versa for medicine

he helps chopper shop for herbs and such

if zoro wasn’t his big brother it was def be sanji

i love this duo it need more screen time

Sanji is a natural with children

which is why i wanna know why he ain’t wifed up yet?!

still hasn’t had his first kiss

prob would’ve genuinely married pudding if she was regular girl or at least not a big mom pirate

Chopper

sweetest person ever

looks up to all the straw hats

so he picks up bad habits from them

and is influenced by them easily

they use him as a tie breaker for stuff

they all bribe him to picking they’re option

usually robin, nami, sanji or zoro wins

robin bc she uses her psychological knowledge

nami bc she offers to buy his doctor stuff (which is rare)

sanji bc they have a close bond and relate to each other

and zoro bc they’re bond too (and bc he scares him sometimes- like that time in water 7)

asks people to help him with his doctor research

everyone was willing until the time usopp had diarrhea

then he could only convince luffy to do it 😭

Robin♥︎

her stare scares the rest of the straw hats

if it’s not a genuine smile and more like a distant stare that is

shes always observing and watching

theres no hiding secrets from her

she’s knows all

she actually reminds me of a friend i had irl and idk how to feel abt it

she wasn’t a bad person

she was just

just like robin 🧍‍♀️

anyway

i wonder if robin would read stephen king?

she would prob big up the book

only for them to find out it’s pretty dark

she prefers tea over coffee any day

its healthier w more health benefits

it just suits her taste pallet more

plus it doesn’t stain your teeth yellow n stuff..

Franky

SO LOUD

the second he gets up-

SUPERRRRRRR

its kinda annoying

he doesn’t care much if you don’t like it

Luffy is louder ok

your fine

wants robin to think he’s cool

if you don’t get something he said he doesn’t feel like repeating himself

either leaves out more details the more he explains it

or stares at you until you get it

constantly requesting american food for dinner

he doesn’t mind noodles and other around the world dishes

but can he get some pizza??

is that too much??

actually such a kind and considerate person

can relate to sanji on his kindness and empathy being his superpower

♡♡BROOK♡♡

needs so much more attention

the only one who still laughs at his skull jokes are luffy and chopper

sometimes usopp if it was a good one

loves to exchange books with robin but..

sometimes they’re a bit scary

(dude your a skeleton…YOUR SCARY-)

robin listens to him well bc he has a wealth of knowledge

he is 90 after all

maybe brook gets his clothes tailored??( bc who makes clothes so skinny a skeleton could fit them?!)

can play instruments no ones ever even HEARD OF before

randomly re-realizes his generation of people is dead

like now he has to accommodate with the youngsters 😭

i mean people in one piece live pretty long

but still they’re not out here kickin it n allike they used to

like rayliegh-

except he’s younger-

way younger-

ok so maybe whitebeard

but he was still jukin-

IDK MAN

one piece people are weird..

JINBEI

idk much about him especially but imma try

he’s so cool

he can prob cook really well

has very good survival and leader skills

plus instincts

wait how old is he??

ok

looked it up he’s 46

so he’s the 2nd oldest

technically would be first if brook wasn’t a moving pile of bones

yohohoho!

my apologies your right this is jinbei.

ok

i feel like he can dance

like he knows traditional dances of all sorts

i mean he could travel under water pretty fast

he should be able to visit different places right?

besides, he was a warlord

of course he did!

i feel he wouldn’t be a simp

as in for boa specifically

like he’s like i got too much going on to simp over some youngster

ik he ain’t real old or anything

but my dude a grown man

bro ain’t got time

he’s too busy being himothy

i feel he’d like poems

jinbei’s was like the most serious one. and that was still all over the place itself-

i take it back probably chopper or robin

this was fun but it took so long. it’s ok u guys enjoy :). i’m off to watch some anime 🏃‍♀️

oh my GOODNESS. so many tags 🤓

[modernghostfare]

okokok. so jealousy romantic jealousy. general jealousy would take like 500 essays. this is super fucking long btw i would suggest ctrl+f and search for characters you want to see

#1 worst w jealousy gotta be ghost bc he gets jealous and immediately seeks to make his partner jealous back instead of handling it like an adult. he will also Conjure Up things to be jealous of.

meanwhile price is the hardest to make jealous he genuinely does not care if someone fucks around. he doesn't. he is also fucking around.

soap doesnt care. he rly doesnt. he can get his feelings hurt if he feels like the less preferred option but its not really jealousy. he just doesn't want to feel like second best.

gaz is very confident in himself and his worth and he really does not like to feel as if that's being ignored so yes he gets very jealous. but hes also willing to talk it out and come to an understanding after a few quick snips. he's a cunt to the person he's jealous of tho

golem Can get jealous but its not very deep. it's like an eyerolling moment to him then he gets over it bc hes a busy man. lot to do. he Does Not like when people get jealous at Him though its just like a pet peeve. he expects the same placid response he gives so when someone else gets defensive he gets defensive back.

otter isn't jealous. what do you mean he's jealous. he couldn't be jealous did you hear him say he likes you 🙄🙄 i don't think so 🙄🙄 but like why aren't you paying attention to how he likes you. not that he does. (so. in a way, no, but he does get mad when people dont pick up on his cues bc he does not know how to communicate)

griggs isn't completely the jealous type but thats because hes very trusting of his partner. he doesn't like to have to deal With jealousy either. hes a busy man.

wyatt just. genuinely truly does not care. hes really not ever in a relationship or looking for one so he has no one to be jealous of. he HATES when people get jealous at him tho bc then it means he has to ghost them. he is not dealing w drama like that its not FUN.

mace is easy to make jealous but hes very aware of his reaction and his response is a lot more Reasonable bc of that. typically he just gets touchy and sort of overprotective.

nikto is uhm fucking atrocious. its not just jealous its being territorial for him. its a combination of him feeling not Good enough for someone to care about and him not respecting his partner's own autonomy bc he's just An Asshole he was genuinely born this way.

rodion gets jealous bc he Wants Attention on Him. not that he would word it like that. but thats what it is.

Kreuger is also mainly just territorial. hes also underhanded so he typically wont say hes.. upset (feeling affronted) outright he will imply it and later on outright threaten the offending party.

syd loves jealousy bc she thinks its so fun of her to make others jealous. she typically does not get genuine crushes but if she does jealousy is suddenly not as fun anymore

yegor gets jealous. hes almost never home and doesnt call often but if he Is home with a girlfriend hes touchy. mainly he’s fussing going “i dont get why you talked to that guy like that”

[og-danny-dorito]

[ 𝕊𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕 ]

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heyyy i'm back with more content :) also trying out different fonts n formats??

⚠𝕋𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤⚠️: mentions of sexual content but other than that none this shit wholesome

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𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕙𝕞𝕤: - forehead kisses are pretty regular before you meet him since it's mandatory to give him a goodnight kiss

- it's only when brahms starts demanding them AFTER he revealed himself that they probably get less frequent and thats because the forehead kisses get replaced with cheek and mouth kisses

- or sometimes full-on makeout sessions

- kissing him on his forehead is usually something he gets as a reward for doing something good like picking up after himself or helping you around the kitchen

- it becomes so normal to give him a forehead kiss after he does good that every time he completes a task he leans down/leans forward and taps his forehead so you can give him a kiss

- he just wants your love and approval don't @ him

- 10/10 needy boy

𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕖𝕝: - how tf did you get up there - no seriously he's almost taller than a door how did you...? - okay well, regardless of how you reached this bitch's head your forehead kiss is most likely going to earn you a rough grip on your arm if you don't warn him - the most likely situation that this would happen is late at night when you haven't fallen asleep yet with mikey curled up to your side with your head in his chest - if it weren't for the fact that he sleeps like someone's going to attack him in his sleep you might've been able to get away with it, but the rough hand on your shoulder preventing you from moving any closer is proof of being caught - he eventually lets go and lets you kiss him because he's too tired, but he isn't too cool with intimacy that he doesn't initiate - if you've been together for a while and you do it it's cool, but your best bet is to do it while patching him up form being hurt or when he's too tired to deny you

- 8/10 you might get your throat crushed but its cool 𝕁𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟:

- i don't know how you got up there but he is WRAPPED around your finger - like he already loved you more than his undead heart could manage but when you tenderly kiss him on the forehead so casually while ya'll are just laying around or doing normal tasks? yeah mans might shut down

- nonsexual intimacy just makes his heart explode PLEASE - if you pull this shit on him you're gonna ether get attacked with kisses in turn, forced into a bearhug, or all of the above - 100/10 do it all the time please he loves it 𝔹𝕦𝕓𝕓𝕒:

- P L E A SE GIVE HIM KISSES

- give him ALL kisses he gets so upset if you don't give him at least a thousand a day

- like it's started to become a game to him. where are you gonna kiss him next? the temple? the hand? the cheek? he gets so excited just thinking about it!!! - kissing him on the forehead while bringing down some food and sweet tea while he works will make him a blubbery and squealey mess - like you love him that much that you'll just kiss and love on him whenever?!?!

- he starts doing it in turn because it makes him so happy when you do it to him. that or he starts hugging you and babbling happily whenever you're within 5 feet of each other - 1000/10 loves all affection 𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 & 𝕊𝕥𝕦:

- billy pretends to hate when you do it because he's "not a fucking kid" but he starts to get upset when you give stu kisses and don't give him any like a jealous child

- stu will literally take any sort of positive contact with open arms but he makes it weird by saying "thanks mom/dad/parental figure" - billy's kinda hesitant with being affectionate since he's kinda traumatized but after a bit of warming up to it he actually kinda likes random acts of affection?

- like he has this mentality that if you're being affectionate you want sex but after he realizes that you can be intimate without getting down and dirty he ends up liking it more than he likes sexual intimacy since it means more to him

- stu will literally kiss both of you any chance he gets with no hesitations

- and he will kiss EVERYWHERE. like don't be surprised if this man just kisses the back of your neck out of nowhere okay he has no self control

- its good there are three of you because just one person wouldn't be able to handle all of the love stu has to offer

- 7/10 for billy since it needs progress but 8/10 for stu since he makes dumb jokes but means well

ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕟:

- he's so awkward forgive him

- no like he literally doesn't know what to do when you first do it so he just kinda stands there for a second before nodding a "thank you" and leaving the room to recuperate

- on the outside he's all but on the inside he's like - he likes it but like? doesn't know?? how to ask for more??? - you can usually tell that he wants more because he starts nudging his head into your shoulder and waiting for you to give him kisses - a better option is to give him kisses on his mask filter! it's kinda like a lip kiss but not quite, and it's wholesome enough to make him have a good mood for the rest of the day

- like he might let a few victims die faster just because you gave him mask kisses before he went out - 6/10 he's awkward as all hell

𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕤:

- bro,,, thomas is so sad bro

- like,,, he just doesn't feel like you really care about him a lot of the time and doesn't feel like you deserve him and it gets him down so PLEASE show him affection

- like on the outside he may seem scared of it and might push you away, just be patient with him

- thomas ESPECIALLY doesn't like his face so kissing his face and telling him he looks handsome kinda makes him want to break down in tears right there

- like bubba he loves affection, but he's more timid and nervous about asking for it

- you can usually tell that he wants your attention from his nervous glances at you across the room and his sudden close proximity when you're walking around, so just turn around and hug him every once in a while!! or give him some smooches

- he might not offer them back but he returns the sentiment by nuzzling into your neck and humming if you play with his hair

- 9/10 just because he's super hesitant but needs it regardless

𝔽𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕕𝕪: - y'all bacon bits cannot take one fucking thing seriously

- SKJDFN like if you give him a forehead kiss he'll try to lick your chin or push you away he's such an ass

- it's honestly just because genuine heartfelt affection brings up emotions he's not good at dealing with so he avoids it by counteracting with stupidity but whatever

- do not give him forehead kisses or you'll get your neck bitten i mean it

- 2/10 he's a dumbass

𝕍𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣:

- this man is BUILT for forehead kisses. look at that forehead. look at that sittable lap. look at those hugging arms.

- vincent will literally accept any sort of positive contact as long as you warn/ask him beforehand

- asking to kiss his forehead will earn you a shy nod, and doing so will result in a very blushy and embarrassed wax man

- FR THO like he will still get flustered and loose track of what he's doing if he thinks about it for a month after

- the fact that you kissed his face really sells it considering (like thomas) he's never liked his face

- kissing his BARE face for the first time though? oh my god he's going to start crying

- NO BUT FR SKJDFNK

- 10/10 he just,,,, loves you so much PLEASE

𝔹𝕠 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣: - c'mon now y'all really think he's gonna let you do that

- as soon as you lean in to kiss his forehead he's gonna push you away like "what are you doing" and go back to his business okay this man doesn't do intimacy

- unless he's in the safety of his room though

- if y'all are 100% alone it's okay even though he's kinda hesitant, but he's awkward and doesn't know how to return it in a way that isn't sexual

- like everyone paints him to be smooth n shit but i know for a FACT he doesn't know how to deal with genuine intimacy and it's because he's never had a healthy relationship in his life

- so you presenting that is weird and foreign and will take a lot of time for him to get used to

- 4/10 don't do that unless you're like a few months in

𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕖! 𝕐𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕛𝕒:

- what are you doing

- why are you doing that

- wait no don't stop-

- yeah soft intimacy is something he's still kinda getting used to. he doesn't hate it, but it still catches him off guard since he doesn't?? really know??? what to do????

- kinda just coos affectionately into your chest and holds you there for a second before placing a kiss (or like the closest he can get to one with those tusks and lack of lips) on whatever exposed area of skin is the closest but he gets an A for effort

- 9/10 doesn't know what to do but still enthusiastic!!

ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪𝕞𝕒𝕟:

- while he PREFERS hand kisses cause he's classy, he doesn't mind forehead kisses at all

- in fact, if he's taller than you they're really common for him to give!

- if you return them he's pleasantly surprised and can't help but get all soft because of it

- 11/10 not much else to say here just a wholesome man

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[ 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘! ℝ𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕. :) ]

[maschotch]

@arsonhotchner has been begging me to post the fast food headcanons we were talking about..  since they finally got around to making the dessert post with significantly less explanation mind you!! i guess it’s only fair to write this up asjhlgfdjk

one thing that im almost genuinely upset we didn’t get to see is more scenes of the team eating together. they’re gone for days at a time, most of which is spent working on a gruesome case, with breaks few and far between. they’ve gotta eat at some point, and its just efficient if they all eat together 

we see them order takeout sometimes so they can eat at the precinct, and they occasionally go out to restaurants (they stop doing that on cases tho when they always end up getting pulled away). but what about when a case is over and  it’s 3am and everywhere’s closed and they havent eaten in days and they just want to get a bite to eat and fucking relax? they either want a place where they can crash for a while and decompress while they unwind from whatever shitty thing happened that day or somewhere they can pick something up to bring back to the hotel. sometimes they just grab some fast food since it’s readily available and easy enough to get. but different people like different things, and they each have their favorites

emily likes mcdonalds. not necessarily for the food itself, but for the consistency. and she has fond memories of hanging out at mcdonalds in other countries she’s lived in, so there’s also a nostalgia factor. it’s kind of exciting to see the different menus. she knows it’s not the best so she’s rarely adamant about going, but it’s a chain that’s basically everywhere, so they inevitably end up going occasionally. it’s no one else’s favorite, but no one’s strongly against it either. a pretty neutral choice!

morgan likes five guys. he likes the sesame buns, he thinks the fries are good, and he loves snacking on peanuts while they wait. the group is pleased with this decision and they go as frequently as they can—even though it’s not always available.

jj likes cici’s pizza bc she’s insane. it’s mostly nostalgia—after games her soccer coach would take the team there for the buffet. the euphoria of eating a shitton of food after working to the bone assuaged any reservations they had of the taste/quality. it didnt matter how gross it was, to them it was delicious. but it does mean that jj rarely gets to pick where they go eat. she cant be trusted 

morgan likes popeyes. jj likes kfc. it’s a point of contention between the two and at some point they look to the team to settle the debate. with some sighs and grumbled apologies, everyone unanimously sides with morgan. it’s a popular option and they go often, and morgan will always have a smug look on his face when they pull up to the parking lot. 

rossi likes wendys. it catches them off guard and they don’t quite understand it, but rossi says he admires the moxy of a fast food chain that puts baked potatoes on the menu. and he likes the square patties. no one’s upset about it though—the food’s not bad and they like the cheese fries. hotch likes their frosties, so wendys becomes part of the regular rotation. 

hotch likes whataburger. dairy queen used to be his favorite when he was a kid, but at some point he decided the blizzards weren’t worth the shitty food. he doesn’t always eat when they go out, but he’ll get at least get a milkshake if the place has them, and whataburger shakes are his favorite. the group likes it, and they like to indulge hotch when he lets them. usually someone else will suggest it so he won’t feel bad for taking a turn at picking

jack likes pizza hutt. the stuffed crust is quite alluring to a six year old. every day hotch prays that his son will get some fucking taste and ask for dominos instead. one day hotch just makes the executive decision to get dominos. the cinnamon twists win jack over

reid likes chipotle. this comes as a shock to everyone. he rattles off about the quality and the health benefits etc etc but still nobody understands why. they don’t stop staring as he eats his little salad bowl.

penelope doesn’t get to eat with them as often since she doesn’t travel with them, and when she does it’s usually homecooked at someone’s house or at a restaurant. her favorite is sonic. not for the food, but for the drinks—plus she thinks there’s something classy about pulling up to a drive-in with her convertible. sometimes she’ll pick up drinks for everyone when she knows they’ve had a rough day. other times, she’ll be working late at the office and it’s getting late (or early) and hotch is the only one left. she’ll drag him out and insist on driving them home, but they’ll stop by sonic on the way to get some drinks and maybe some tater tots or something  if he’s up for it. 

alex likes panera bread. she’ll go pick up coffee and pastries in the mornings sometimes, but every once and a while they’ll go as a group to eat lunch or something. it’s inoffensive and they’re able to bring back a little snack for later, but it’s not as traditionally “fast” for fast food, so it’s mostly a morning stop. 

tara likes panda express. the others tease her a little for it, but she says there’s something comforting about shitty americanized chinese food. they’ll go every once and a while if they’re ever tired of burgers or smth.  

walker likes subway. he likes picking out the ingredients in his little sandwiches and he says there’s something about the system of the line up that’s oddly comforting. they’ll go for lunches sometimes, but they don’t go often. not necessarily because of the food, but because usually everyone’s too tired to have to make decisions/talk to someone through the whole process.

luke likes in and out bc he has taste. it becomes a quick favorite for the others and it becomes a frequent stop. 

sometimes they’ll eat at the restaurant. they’ll squeeze in a booth or drag some tables together and camp out for a while. it’s usually when it’s late and they all know they’re not getting any sleep that night. sometimes it’s quiet and they sit in silence mulling over whatever case they were working on. its enough to just.. be in the presence of others who understand what they’re going through. there’s no need to explain--they all get it. other times it’s easier to distract each other and it’ll be much more lively: joking around, goofing off, prying into personal lives, kicking under the table, etc. it’s a way to take their mind off things, and laughter over a meal with people you love can be so healing.

sometimes they’ll pick something up and bring it back to the hotel. this tends to be a little more chaotic.. one suv heads to the hotel while the other gets the food, and the accuracy of the order greatly depends on who’s in the car. hotch and reid are the most reliable at remembering what everyone wants, but they’re the least likely to speak up at a drive thru; jj tries but sometimes she’ll forget someone entirely; emily and morgan are liable to change your order if they think its gross or they just want to mess w you. either way its pretty much a gamble.

they’ll usually eat together in someone’s room. it’s a pretty big sacrifice since the smell of fast food is never getting out of there, and it’s not something any of them wanna volunteer for. more often than not it ends up being reid’s room: his protests are easier to ignore. they’ll gather on the bed or the desk or the floor--wherever there’s room. this is the setting where they tend to be more casual. they try to keep their mind off work and talk about other things, but sometimes it’s easier to brainstorm when they’re not at some police precinct. one by one they’ll trickle back to their rooms feeling more settled than they normally would be. family meals are nice like that      

[vampdeathbystereo]

Match-up please? (Preferably which male vamp) I am pansexual, female, and 5.3. I have brown shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes with glasses. I am shy and quiet at first and may come off as rude, but the more I know a person the more I open up. I am protective, sassy, emotionally guarded, stubborn, clumsy, tough, touch starved, and introverted. I like the paranormal (even tho I am a skeptic), the 80's, superheroes, videogames, horror movies and true crime. I like any metal, rock, punk or alternative band. I am a major bookworm, collector of anything. I do embroidery, baking, painting, and I am a self taught SFX artist. I have an anger issue, I make stupid jokes at wrong times. I am a tomboy, a farm kid and I have huge wanderlust. Aspiring horror writer.

Thanks I appreciate it. Sorry that I am kinda all over the place

Ahhh no worries homie! I can get like that too so I feel you, Plus nothing’s bad about being all over the place, Just means you wanna give me the best explanation you can and I wholeheartedly appreciate it! <3 :) ALSOO: You sound like a really cool person to vibe with, So don’t let anyone tell you otherwise bud ;D 

I match you with: Paul!! 

Lucky you! Paul’s a great guy and would absolutely adore you! Head over heels!!

He’s 0.7’’ taller than you, Expect him to fiddle with your hair and MAYBE lean down and steal your glasses. He’ll give you them back, don’t worry. But not without a kiss 👀 ( not that he would force you. It’s just the quickest option )

Enjoys your sassy remarks a lot, Gonna maybe expect a lot thanks to his flirtatious remarks but he enjoys them a lot, they add spice! Your rebuttals are always humorous to him! 

Touch starved? o h that will not do. Paul is gonna give you all the physical affection you could ask for! Probably goes to hold your hand a lot, slink his arm around your shoulder or waist. 

Did I mention this guy is like??? THE BEST FUCKING SNUGGLER?? He’s going to snuggle you for the rest of his unlife so if you don’t suffocate between his chest then uh, Yeah your living the life. 

Out of all the vampires, Paul is the friendliest. So being emotionally guarded or introverted won’t stop him from getting to know you. Do what you want but if Paul loves you, He’s not going anywhere anytime soon, even if you don’t feel the same. He’ll put in the effort because in the end, He knows you're worth getting to know, even if it's just as a friend. He wouldn’t be infatuated if you weren’t.

Your into Paranormal things? You're very lucky to have a vampire boyfriend right? ( Vampires are kinda paranormal right?? I mean they do stupid mind tricks?? Look I don’t know but Paul would probably say that ). He’d probably use this to try and convince you to become a vampire and join him in the wondrous party of the undead. 

He’s not one for comics, let alone books, But if you like it. He’ll try to get into it. He wants to be genuinely engaged in your stuff so he can have a conversation about it with you. He just really struggles with focusing and staying still for prolonged periods of time. 

You and him and the rock box? He’s here for it. Please listen to the rock box with him. He’ll let you pick the song just please listen and dance with him, p l e a s e 

Probably goes through all the bands you enjoy just to find a song you guys can call your song. Then proceed to play that hit 24/7 because he thinks it’s very romantic

Loves all your creative creations. Paintings, Embroideries, They’re all amazing to him. Your so talented and he loves it!!! Gonna try put your creations all over the cave, fuck what the others say, He’s going to flex on how cool and creative you are! 

Though I wouldn’t use him as a model because he probably couldn’t sit still long enough

Please don’t freak him out too bad with your SFX, Especially if it’s gorey. He’s a little drama queen and will probably scream in a mix of fear and confusion.

How the fuck did he not smell the blo- oh its fake!

Then proceeds to ask you if you could do some for him because he wants to freak out the rest of the boys with your talent and basically flex like: HI YEAH, MY STUNNING PARTNER CAN DO THIS LOOKIE. Probably gave the others a heart attack because it’s not everyday a vampire is harmed but as soon as they understand it’s fake. Marko is next on the list of “ please make me look gorey “. You're gonna be getting a lot of practice that week. 

Sadly, Paul is kinda sensitive / a drama queen. He might upset you, and if your anger issues come into it he might get hurt emotionally. He loves you genuinely and when you are angry, He does try his best to calm you down and make sure your okay. But he knows that showing emotion and getting your anger out is important so he encourages you to come talk to him.

He makes stupid jokes at wrong times too, what a coincidence. You two probably upset so many people without meaning too but that’s okay, You never have the ill intent to after all. 

He really enjoys your tomboy style and finds it very flattering to your physique. Farm kid?? That’s awesome! Paul is constantly asking questions about farm stuff because he’s genuinely never been too one and since he can’t really go out during the day, It’s not like he could go visit one. 

You sadly can’t travel with him however for the same reason. Unless you're really careful. Like, it can be done but if you're taking him, you're taking them all. At this point the lost boys are all conjoined at the hip.

Your a horror writer? Well good to see you have all the inspiration you’d need from good ol’ Paul. Need to get some gritty descriptions for a book? Better yet images. Paul would never say any of this regularly but if you want him to talk about it, You came to the right guy. He gives very in depth and fun descriptions of things. Whether they actually help with your book? Eh. However he swells with pride when you ask him because if he can, He wants to help you with everything he can! :)

All in all, he loves you dearly and will do his best to make it known your loved and appreciated. He won’t have anything other than that 

I did a lot of thinking on this one, especially since this is one of the first matchups I’ve written and I hope you like it! If not, let me know why. I tried to go over everything. Remember this is just my opinion. You can date / ship yourself with whoever you want. This is just my opinion! :)

Also don’t mind some stuff about Paul, I just kinda hc him to have undiagnosed Adhd because we act very similar in some regards ,so like, Yeah relatability.

[twilightofthe]

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE 9 BENEATH THE CUT.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

S O . . .

Honestly I’m kinda really glad I spoiled myself for this movie because I got really really upset by the reviews and went in with my expectations basically on the floor, so I was actually able to be pleased and happy with a couple things in the movie, so I will start off with the few things I did like.

I loved the Rey/Finn/Poe dynamic.  The actors’ chemistry works sooooo well together and I loved their adventure through the first two acts.  You can see how much these guys all genuinely like each other-- even tho the script seems to try VERY HARD to stick Poe and Finn with the worst case of “NO HOMO NO HOMO”-ing I’ve seen in Star Wars since Anakin and Obi Wan in The Clone Wars lol.  Seriously, the script is trying so so hard to pick fights between Poe and Finn, but blessed amazing Oscar Isaac and John Boyega manage to play it so the entire conflict reads more like Poe is jealous of Finn’s feelings over Rey, they act it VERY MUCH like quarreling lovers and it is completely 100% the work of John and Oscar and I love these two so much, I owe them my life.

I adore Rey and Finn’s chemistry too, they spend the entire film with Finn desperately worrying over Rey and Rey confiding her worries and fears to Finn and constantly giving each other looks and ugh, I love them so much.

Force Sensitive!Finn!!!  Just for a second but it happened!  They should have been more blatant but I like that he canonically is!!!

Just in general, I’ve always been a Jedistormpilot shipper, and I feel the ending really leaves that as an open option I will happily take.

The bits with the Resistance and Leia did the best they could with Carrie’s footage.  It was choppy and kinda obvious that footage was all they had to work with, but they tried their hardest and given what little they had to work with, I will unhappily accept it and the fact that Leia had little to no role in the story.  I’m still really upset about it and her character’s death was so damn anticlimactic, but it was what happened.

Billy Dee Williams was charming and awesome as Lando, I loved seeing him, and he did a wonderful job, even if he was just a nostalgia cameo.

3PO was entertaining as ever!  I liked him!  They definitely sidelined R2 way too much, but I was glad to see 3PO and I was glad that he didn’t permanently lose his memory!  The only thing I was kinda ehhh about was the bit with the dagger and the Sith language because the way he was suddenly able to translate it after not being able to translate it?????  Did not make sense at all???????????

Abrams fucking got me with the nostalgia for a second during the Luke Force Ghost scene.  I’m sorry, but I was so happy to see that Leia had done a bit of Jedi training then chose to give it up, I loved the callback to Yoda lifting the X-Wing but then Luke’s ghost did it-- COMPLETE WITH THE OG MUSIC!!!!!  Mark knocked it out of the park and I just love seeing him.

Same for Ian and Sidious!  While I personally did not like the Sidious plot at all and I will expand more on that later, I loved seeing Mr. McDiarmid again and he always just fills me with a bit of glee being his dramatic Palpy self because he’s just as good and as hatable as he’s always been and I thank him for it.

I think that was about it for what I liked, and honestly that was all the work of the talented actors and me being happy to see them pulling off their characters to the best of their abilities.  The plot itself???  Ehhhhhhhhhh.....

Look, as I mentioned before, I liked the Jedistormpilot mission.  That was fun.  

The entire Resistance plot?  Way way way too staggered and jumped around too much, not going into detail, felt a lot like it was trying to cram in everything with little payoff and not much emphasis placed on the importance of its plan so the audience really doesn’t get time to register everything that’s happening with them, let alone care about them

Naomi Ackie did a charming job with Jannah, I would have liked it if her entire plot didn’t kinda invalidate Finn’s overall story arc.  I get they were trying to say “oh look!  Finn’s not alone!  There are other ex-stormtrooper rebels!  Just like Finn!!!”  Instead what it looks like is saying basically that Finn isn’t special, Finn’s defection wasn’t important overall, literally everyone does it, and it means nothing.

(Also going off of this, it really felt like JJ caved to the TLJ hate and totally sidelined Rose, she did like jacksquat in this and I’m mad)

The thing is, I don’t think the Resistance plot and the search for Palpy mission would have been as scattered and rushed and disorganized IF: Rey Palpatine wasn’t a thing, Reylo wasn’t a thing, and Force Ghosts were utilized more.

Look, I was fine with Palpy coming back (on a condition).  Someone had to be the big bad and Disney is too worried about toy sales for it to ever be Kylo, so I knew Sidious could work-- provided they brought back the Skywalkers whose stories were intertwined with his and involved them in his ultimate downfall somehow.

I was fine with Rey Nobody. I was a little mad all the Skywalker legacy was going to her without her earning it really, but I figured that if the final film connected her with the Skywalkers properly, it would be fine, she had time to earn it.

Instead, we got little to no Skywalkers-- one Luke scene that meant nothing to the plot, scraped together Leia footage they could only take so far, and a fucking muddled voiceover from the man who Sidious screwed over the most, the one who originally killed him, the one who should have been THERE.  Look, I should have known they would never actually bring Anakin back, but dammit, he SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.  HE SHOULD HAVE.  This was his story originally, like it or not, and the entire goddamn Sequel Trilogy never so much as said his name, even when they brought back the creep that destroyed his life and he was supposed to give his own to defeat.

Literally no one asked for the Rey Palpatine plot.  It made no sense, you feel nothing for her “heroic” parents because you know literally nothing about either of them, the convoluted logic on why/why not Sidious wants her alive makes no sense.  His goal makes no sense, it’s confusing, so he wants Kylo to kill her but he also doesn’t, he wants Rey there so she can kill him and he can transfer his life force into her and then he’ll bring the Sith back somehow with all that hooded crowd on the bottom of Exetor???  Where did they even come from??  What happened to the canon saying all the dead Sith were on Korriban?  How is Palpy even gonna use Rey to bring back the other Sith????  When can his ghost/zombie corpse/whatever the fuck he is just fucking pull life energy out of people’s chests?  

What they should have focused on instead of the timeline devoted to Rey Palpatine was keep Sidious as the threat, keep all his other “raising the dead Sith” stuff-- just move his hidey hole to Korriban dammit --and have all the Rey’s parents plot shift to scenes with her interacting with Luke and Anakin’s Force Ghosts trying to figure out how to take down Palps together once and for all.  Let her get adopted into the Skywalker family by the only two who actually carried the name, not just have her randomly take it at the end after interacting with Luke freaking once.  She has seemingly close relationships with Leia and Ben, dammit, in that case she should have been Rey Solo or Rey Organa.

Also have Luke’s Force Ghost replace the nonsense with whatever guy Luke was apparently working with to track down Sidious on Exetor-- we never saw all of that and having aaaaaall of that background wordvomited onto us by 3PO at once makes it jarring and confusing and forgettable.  Literally just have Luke show up and tell them!!!!  

Han’s appearance to Kylo on whatsitsname Endor water moon???  Also should have been Anakin if they really wanted to show Kylo/Ben’s beginning to turn (really it should have been Leia but again I get why they couldn’t) back to the Light via a convo with the dead.  Like omgggg let him finally talk to the grandfather he was trying to impress!!  The opening was right there????  But nope, Han is there, and I guess whatever he says is suddenly enough to turn him good again???

(THIS ALSO MEANS MY FUCKING FANFIC WAS RIGHT.  HAN SOLO IS A FORCE GHOST.  WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.  THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ONE THING I PROCLAIMED WOULD NOT BE CANON.  I’M THE NEW ORACLE OF DELPHI BITCHES.  WHAT THE FUCK.)

Aaaaand this brings me to the romance.  The fucking romance.  Look, I’m sorry if you guys all do, I really am, and I respect if you want to unfollow, but I never have been able to stomach Reylo.  Ever.  I never saw the romance.  I saw pain and abuse and one-sided obsession.  Check that, I will admit that I always saw some sort of want from Kylo.  Adam played him very much being obsessed with having Rey with him for some reason throughout all the films, but it also always played as toxic, and him not knowing what to do with that want, and just lashing out and abusing and forcing himself on her at every turn.  It never played as a healthy relationship and it never played like Kylo should be rewarded for it.  And this entire film????  I see still no romance????  Like the first half is just Rey being damn furious at Kylo, hating him, literally wanting nothing to do with him.  I think another part of it is that I have never in the films seen Rey as having romantic or emotional feelings for Kylo, not ever.  Not consistantly.  It’s always just been an entire film’s worth of her despising him-- no not in an enemies to lovers UST despising, like actual hate and frustration --and then one singular bizarre scene that sticks out like a wart on a face where she suddenly does a 180 and is soft with him, like in the elevator scene in TLJ or the ending scene of TROS.  I wouldn’t even say Rey feels soft for Kylo the first damn time she stabs and kills him before healing him.  That to me seems a lot more like guilt to Leia her mentor over stabbing her son, and healing him for Leia’s sake than Rey actually wanting him alive.  Maybe that’s just because from what I’ve seen, Daisy isn’t the biggest Reylo fan and just didn’t play it with her heart.

I’m glad Ben was redeemed, after what Sidious put that family through, I would have been upset with the last Skywalker descendant dying in Dark disgrace.  But I’ve never been able to like his character really because they never fully let him be evil or an intriguing villain character, but they never showed him as good.  I’m sorry, but the comics don’t do it for me either because it seems they’re just trying to slightly alter Anakin’s issues and problems and stick them onto him and go “see they’re the same!” and it just rings fake and irritating for me, and his sudden turnaround does not have the same weight behind it because I don’t even know what he really turned back to the Light for.  Was it for Rey?  That obsession didn’t look like love.  Was it for Leia?  We never got to see him speak two words to her.  Was it for Han?  Possibly?!?!  That scene was not clear?!??!?!!?!  It sure as hell wasn’t for Anakin or Luke because they weren’t allowed to interact with him at all.  His return to the Light made no real sense because there wasn’t a clear motive besides “plot says so” and I Could Not See the logic in Rey suddenly wanting to make out with him, whether he saved her or not.  Really the one good thing about it was that their lack of chemistry throughout the film means that if I ignore the fact that that kiss happened, it’s pretty easy to pretend they never got together ;D  Plus, that Jedistormpilot hug at the very end tho, like I said, possibilities........

AND ANOTHER THING (god I really am a crotchety old lady), THE ABILITIES OF BEN AND REY TO BRING EACH OTHER BACK FROM DEATH.  Rey effortlessly healed a straight saber wound through the gut that has fucking killed multiple trained Force users dead and even more non Force users, healed it in seconds.  Now I probably seem like the biggest hypocrite here as I’m planning on having Anakin survive that same exact type of wound in a fic I’m writing (spoilers for those reading it lol but not really, did y’all actually think I was gonna kill him like that xD  And that in no means says he’s gonna recover completely...), but the difference is that I’m not having him survive through someone else effortlessly curing the wound.  If Ben survived that gut wound by healing himself, using his raw energy that all Skywalkers are supposed to have, I would be able to believe that.  Self preservation will to live saved Vader on Mustafar, saved Luke, saved fucking Sidious.  

But the matter is, if Rey was so powerful that she could just heal Ben from dying like that, why the fuck in the prequels is Anakin so panicked over his loved ones dying ever?  He’s supposed to be the most powerful Force user in existence, more powerful than Rey, shouldn’t he have been able to do that for say, Shmi??  One might argue, “but Rey’s had training!”  Who trained her?  Leia, who learned from Luke, who learned from Obi Wan and Yoda, neither of whom knew how to fucking do that and pass it down, don’t tell me they did.  The other option is that Rey did it untrained on natural talented instinct, which again, in that case, why couldn’t Anakin figure that out?  Why didn’t any Jedi?  Rey worked off of emotion healing Ben, Anakin should have been able to figure that out too.  I will accept Ben’s energy transfer to Rey saving her after she died later as that literally killed him, that makes sense, trading energy at an equal point-- and further canonizes my theory that Sidious was able to steal and drain Padmé’s life energy through her bond with Anakin to save him after he burned, which was the actual reason Pads died in Ep 3.  But Rey effortlessly bringing Ben back like that????  I just can’t, that just doesn’t work for canon for me.  I’m sorry, but no.

My final issue is the sheer amount of ignoring this trilogy did of the prequels.  I’ve already ranted about Anakin not showing up when he should and I will not repeat myself, this rant got long and I’m getting tired, but he should have been there, dammit.  He really should have.  Luke should have had more screentime.  That bit at the end where Rey hears all of the other Jedi’s voices speaking to her???  I’m sorry, but that really does break canon!  It was supposed to be only Qui Gon’s line, or those he taught and could pass it down, who could become Force Ghosts, and as delighted as I was to hear Kanan again and Windu and Luminara and everyone else, their voices should not have been there as they are not Force Ghosts! (and this is only partially me whinging over the fact that in my Force Ghost fic I have already stupidly proclaimed that only Qui Gon’s line has become ghosts and now I somehow have to fix that o_o)

(ALSO also the appearance of Ahsoka Tano amongst the voices means that she is dead which means they had the actual audacity to fucking kill her off OFFSCREEN with no explanation which grrrrrr)

One last whine about the romance, everything with Zorri Bliss and Poe seemed really forced and just another way for the script to blare out “HE’S NOT IN LOVE WITH FINN HE’S NOT HE’S STRAIGHT SUPER STRAIGHT LOOK LOOK LOOK”, tho Zorri’s character herself was fun without the forced romance.

Look, overall, I really liked the characters of the sequels, but I felt the plot was really poorly executed, and I really felt that this was not the “Skywalker Saga”.  The Skywalkers felt cast aside and put in the background and ignored and totally invalidated.  They were my favorites and I feel the narrative let them down and it makes my heart unhappy.  It really feels like abusers like Palpatine and Kylo got to win at the expense of their victims, and that really makes my heart unhappy.  That’s just my personal feelings.  Nothing wrong if you did like it, but it’s just me.  I miss my Skywalkers and their happy ending and I probably always will.  I probs won’t ever really be satisfied with what happened to them, tho I will work my hardest on it.  I guess that’s it.

[fairycosmos]

chloe im so stupid im tired and I don’t feel well but here i am at school bc even tho my parents offered several times for me to stay home i have such a guilt complex about missing school that i pretty much just always go but i don’t know what’s wrong w me like im just sick and i keep crying and im just so STUPID i should’ve just stayed home in the first place but esp now that im here i feel like i can’t go home (im sorry I’m r

hey angel. it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. you’re having a really tough day but you’re getting through it, you’re trying your absolute best and that counts for so fucking much, i mean it. i just want to say that i’m super proud of you for making it to school in the first place, seriously. it seems like you care a lot about your education, and that’s extremely admirable. way more than i cared about mine when i was in school anyway. i cant tell you how many days i missed - but i was always able to catch up on the work and to find a way around it. you don’t have to be perfect all of the time, you dont have to constantly over exert yourself. you and your health are way more important than your grades. you can always fit studying into a schedule, but you can’t do that with your own comfort and happiness. it’s hard to accept that as a fact, but it’s the truth. if you need some time, a day or an afternoon for yourself, to recover from the fuckin stress of being a person - that’s alright. you’re entitled to that. everyone needs a break sometimes. 

when you’re feeling so depressed and upset and fucked up inside, it’s very easy to turn to self hatred. you’re trying to make sense of things, and if you turn against yourself, then at least you have someone/something to blame, right? but the thing is, is that these thoughts aren’t accurate or true. they’re coming from a very sad, panicked part of your brain. you’re not stupid, you’re not what you think you are. you’re just going through a tough time. the academic system is literally built to make you feel inadequate. your stress isn’t a reflection of you or you ‘failures’, it’s a reflection of your environment. look, it’s okay to process negative emotions, and it’s definitely okay to cry when you need to. it’s healthy, even if it’s painful. let it out, let it wash over you and then try your best to let it go over n over again. of course, it’s a lot easier said than done. but it’s still possible, if you want it to be. there’s comfort in pain, but holding onto it for longer than you need to is pointless. you can make the active choice to just let it be what it is, for now. 

it’s completely up to you what you do next, and how you go about dealing with the rest of the day. find a quiet place, like a bathroom, and sit down for a while. take a few deep breaths. maybe cry again if you need to. and then think objectively about what you need to do for YOU. i know there’s some sort of complex in your mind that is forcing you to believe that going home now that you’re already at school would be some sort of unforgivable crime, but i swear it’s not. it’s not a big deal, even if your brain is making you feel like it is. if you want to ask your teacher to call your parents to come pick you up, if you feel like that would be your best option deep down, then that’s your answer right there. there’s no shame in at all, babe. looking after yourself is actually more productive than completely exhausting yourself. take today to recharge and rest, and then you’ll be more capable of actually focusing on your work when you return to school, you know? you’re only human, and you’re at the end of your limit. it happens sometimes. and it’s nobody’s fault. after some sleep, some food, and some peace and quiet, you’ll see the temporariness of it all. 

if you dont want to go home, it may be a good idea to go to your school counselor/nurse to see if you can talk to them about what’s going on. i KNOW you don’t want to, and i know it literally seems like the worst idea in the world - but at the end of the day, leaning on other people is one of the healthiest ways to cope with what you’re going through. if you feel like this a lot, there may be an underlying issue that you can get real help and support for you. where you’re at right now isn’t where you’re always going to be, and if you genuinely feel like you need some guidance, then there are so many people who are willing to give you it. i promise. talk to your parents about it, or your doctor, or someone at school, or even a hotline if you’re too scared to reach out to anyone in person at the moment. you’ll see that there are so many resources and avenues of support available, so many ways to change your perspective so that it doesn’t feel as heavy and as bleak. there are coping mechanisms, thinking patterns, forms of therapy and counselling that will help you figure out the root causes of why you think the way you do, and how to calm yourself down when you get overwhelmed. of course, it’ll be a process. i’m not saying that talking to someone is going to instantly solve everything. but it’s a really wonderful place to start. and i honestly believe with all of my heart that you can do it, love. you don’t have to fight this all on your own. others understand more than you realize at the moment. like i said before, it’s easy to turn to self hatred and destruction. but if you’re aware that that’s just a defense mechanism, then you can start acting against it - you can start putting your mental health first. please at least consider it. and for today, just find some privacy, breathe and decide what you need to do. that’s more than good enough. you wont feel like it is, but it is. i’m sending you so much love and again, i hope you know how proud i am of you. i’m rooting for you so fuckin much. i’ll be here if you need a friend or if you want to talk properly, just let me know. 

[bb-bigbang-org]

EPISODE 3 - “The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes.” - CODY

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 10:

Parting Words: Before the eviction, Ashley DMed me with some parting knowledge. She said she knows she is being evicted, but to make sure I watch out for Joe because he is well-liked and a "wild-card". She said he's close with Brooke, Kayla, Mandi, & Frosby and they may feel like they owe him. None of this surprises me, it is similar to what Austin told me yesterday. I do wonder if there's another alliance that Frosby is in with Joe. I do still trust Frosby and I believe that he has my best interest at heart, even if there is something else going on. I may just ask him straight up if there's another alliance.

Eviction: Ashley was evicted on a unanimous vote. I don't have much to say about this. She must have gotten herself in a bad position with both sides of the house. That's unfortunate. I wonder what's going to happen with her dying star. She messaged me before leaving so maybe she likes me, and she might give it to me. But I don't necessarily want it because I have a chance of getting the disadvantage too…

AUSTIN

Omg yessssssssss! Lukas winning is one of the best outcomes that could ever happen for me this week.  Having a second alliance with mandi and drew I feel will be good for me long term in the game as well. I like everyone in the game but they are some ppl I dont trust.  Brook, joe,frosby,and katrina are ppl I'm watching out for. ik trying to keep brook close to me tho just incase maybe she actually does wanna work together.  

CODY

I’m loving this idea that Lukas has come up with about getting the house to cast votes on who they want to go. Because my blow up with Drew I think did plant some seeds that he’s not really an asset in this game. And from what I’ve heard people are looking to throw some votes at him, which means that if he finishes in the top 2 of this. And Lukas is a man of his word, then Drew goes up on the block

The downside is that I’ve been the biggest character so far in this game. It’s been majorly impossible for me to slide under the radar though I have tried ever since I got saved. After Austin saved me I’ve been trying to be super chill and I think I’ve done a good job at it so hopefully people will realise that there’s bigger fish to fry in this game than myself. I actually think the fact that I’ve been on the block twice in this game could be something that people won’t respect and I might be able to twist it in my favour and say that I’m not going to win because everybody keeps nominating me “I’m such a joke”, who knows it might actually work. Will just have to wait and see...

Lukas did express interest in wanting to save me last week had he won power of veto however he did approach me after the blowup with Drew saying it probably wouldn’t be a smart move for him however my argument would be that if Drew is truly playing a bad social game I don’t think saving me would have been that big of a hindrance in the game

The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes. He’s my biggest liability in this game and has no allegiance to me or any of my people. And the longer he stays in the worse off myself and my people are....

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 11:

HOH Strategy: I am wary about winning the HOH this week because I feel like I am sort of sitting in between two sides of the house. Austin seems to trust me and come to me with information, but I have an alliance with Cody, and they are enemies. For the comp, I tried to get decent scores that I didn't think would win. Last time I tried that, I placed 2nd out of 16 players though... I'm nervous!

HOH Results: Lukas won HOH again. He is probably putting a target on his back winning 2/3 HOHs, but that's not my problem. I'm okay with this win. I don't think he'll come after me because he talks to me fairly often. He may go after Cody because he's already put him up and it'd be safer than putting new blood on his hands. But I think we'll have to just see what happens. He just said "This HOH is going to work a little different, so stay tuned!" What does that mean??

Lukas's Announcement - Lukas has decided to put his nominations up to a house vote. That's probably the smartest way for him to mitigate risk from being HOH twice already. I feel even more okay after this because I feel like there are definitely bigger targets in this house than me. I feel pretty safe from nomination this week...

Andy's Realization: After discussing the nomination votes with the Syndicate alliance, Andy brought up a really good point about this Lukas thing. He may be trying to put a smaller target on his back by asking the house who they want out. But really he's gaining a lot of information from everyone about who they want gone. He could figure out what the alliances are based on who answers the same. So, we are going to each put slightly different votes to try to deflect suspicion.

Brooke: Apparently Brooke messaged Cody saying she's going to suggest that I go up because I never reply to her DMs. I want to be upset by this but she's kinda right, I don't really answer her DMs because usually she doesn't say much so I don't have anything meaningful to respond to…

ANDREW

I’m going to start with this. I hated Lukas “google form” on how he’s going to make his decision. Nevertheless, He was “a man of his word” and made his decision based on how the house voted. I’m really surprised with the results. Or am I? 

I got 0 votes, that is wonderful, my under the radar (UTR) strategy is going great. SYNDICATE is my main alliance, but I know it can die. WHATS THE TEA is my spy alliance, I want to keep Brooke close, I trust mandi 100%, she talks straight up, but Brooke is very calculated with her words, I can’t trust her, so I need someone I can trust with someone I don’t, to make them feel comfortable, and when I have the opportunity, strike. LONG CON. FUNFRESHFAB is my underdog alliance, I’m very certain this two girls are alone in the game, and if not, is good to have all wild cards in one room. I like small alliances, right now. With these two alliances. I can pick off at least KAYLA  and DREW. 

More later.. xoxo 🥥 

DESIREE

I keep losing track of if I submitted...sorry if this is a duplicate

Daily Thoughts for Day 12:

I was nominated over Cody...are you freaking kidding meeeeeeeeee? Ugh I'm super annoyed right now. I hope that I'm not the target here. Lukas's HOH strategy is just a mess, and if the intention was to stay without blood on his hands, it really backfired. We see through this strategy and recognize how much information he just collected. I don't know what I'm going to do, though... I just have to try hard for POV. If Austin wins, I wonder if he would use it, and if so on who? I'm guessing he's closer with Kayla than with me, but we do still talk game often...so I don't know..

CODY

Well shit I got put on the block for a second time in this game

And I genuinely don’t have much hope whatsoever that I’ll be saved sadly...I am still trying to scramble however it’s just not likely and I’m at peace with it. It does suck that Drew is gonna get the last laugh on me I really wanted to send that guy home after he screwed me and then went on to alienate himself from me and my people

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

POV Competition: That competition had me majorly stressed. I spent hours preparing and I still didn't do as much as I would have liked. If time was a factor, I'd be screwed. But, overall I think I did okay. My strategy was to try to cut the pool in half with each question.

Pre-POV Results Thoughts: Austin said he would use the POV on me if he wins because he wants to work with me. I'm not sure if he actually will, but if he does win I need to prepare my allies for the possibility of him using it on me, so they don't think I'm doing something sneaky behind my back. I never approached Austin to work with him, but he messages me every day telling me his plans and now wants to help me, so why would I turn that down? I could use that to my advantage and help my allies.

POV Ceremony: I was sooooooo close to winning that POV and that frustrates me a lot. Brooke won, who is buddy buddy with Kayla, so it was obvious that she would take Kayla off the block. My only saving grace is that Cody was the replacement nominee and I think it's pretty obvious that he's a bigger threat than me.

Campaigning For Votes: I have talked to the other members of the Syndicate alliance and they have both agreed to vote Cody out instead of me. Austin also messaged me and said that he is for sure voting Cody and he is pushing for others to do the same. Kayla told me even before the POV ceremony that she would vote for me to stay over Cody if she had the option. I have also heard that Chloe and Katrina are voting out Cody as well. So, if everyone is telling the truth, then I'll be safe. I won't feel safe until the votes are read, though.

FROSBY

So ya with Cody and Desiree up on the Block for this elimination this just fucking sucks for me right now. Like really is the worst for my game. I mean I knew Cody would eventually go, that's why I was keeping him around was to be a vote shield for as long as I could keep him around. Now it looks like he is gone for good which I mean is better than seeing Desiree go, and I mean at this point with how many people voted for Desiree she might just become me and Andrews new vote shield. All I know is Andrew and I were sitting pretty in our 4 man alliance with Cody and Desiree and now this whole vote thing Lukas did really screwed over the Syndicate alliance. The good news is the alliance is designed to be the under the radar players all teaming up and working together without anyone knowing about us. That plan can still work without Cody, it actually might be a lot easier to work without Cody, because if Desiree can slide back into the shadows after this vote us 3 can quietly make a Final 6 if we play our cards right and not make any enemies and I know Andrew is good at not making enemies as for Desiree, seeing 6 different people vote for her in the Lukas poll makes me think she isn't as Under the Radar as I thought.  Oh well we will see how this vote goes, I'm thinking about making a play to just vote against Desiree with Katrina, just to make the vote 9-2 but then both of us just deny it like crazy and act like we have no idea who those 2 votes are and create more chaos in the house that I, Katrina and Andrew can all use to hide under. (again this idea is in the back of my mind but I probably won't do it idk yet, I might feel a little silly when I cast my vote this afternoon so we will see)  

MANDI

i wish we could get the votes to flip again. that would really stir up the house.😂 but only 2 other people are on board with me.

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

Smear Campaign: I woke up today to the news that Cody has been running a smear campaign against me. He is telling people that I was the one pushing to vote Kayla out. Meanwhile, Cody was the one who first mentioned targeting Kayla. It seems like they aren't believing the lies, which is great, but I wonder what else he's saying that I haven't heard about...

Eviction: So, the vote was 10-1 and Cody was evicted. Thank goodness. I mean, I figured it would go that way, but you just never know. Before Cody left, he said he was lying about it being his birthday. What a piece of work... Getting to know him he seemed like a good guy, I just wish he didn't play the villain so much.

HOH Competition: That competition was so hard and I need to work on my typing skills. Pretty sure there's no way I'm winning this one.😞 Hopefully one of my other alliance members wins…

WEEK 3 CAST ASSESSMENT 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u39yg_9iHUQ

[artificialqueens]

Hey (Trixya) - JJ

AN: Hi hello there this is my first-ever fic and I am freaking the fuck out but hey it’s 3:30AM and I have the rest of the night to regret every decision I’ve ever made.

Short lil’ Trixya thing I’ve had in my mind for a while now (even tho there’s barely any Trixie in it LOL). A lil' angsty. Mostly Katya-centric and Katya/Violet friendship-centric. Drag names are used but with male pronouns (except Violet, of course, has gender-neutral pronouns).

If people are interested I’ll do a follow-up.

I welcome (and would actually really appreciate) any and all constructive criticism, please!

Thank-you so much for reading!

XOXOXO,

~ JJ

“Okay… so… how long, EXACTLY, has it been since you last spoke to him…?”

  Katya sighed and refused to look at the computer screen where Violet’s no-doubt judgemental face could be seen.

  “I dunno. Little while. Not that long.” He dared sneak a glance and immediately regretted it as he was met with one of Violet’s admittedly perfect eye rolls.

  “Bitch you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday. The entirety of the Internet freaked the fuck out. I was surprised some dumbass hashtag wasn’t trending because of it. #RIPTrixya or something. #KatyaKilledTrixya. Endless possibilities.”

  “Hey!” Katya gasped indignantly, “Just because I didn’t wish him a public happy birthday on social media does not mean I didn’t wish him a happy birthday at all! I sent him a lovely text right at midnight.

  “And besides!” he continued, “Fans are so over-dramatic. We have a show coming out soon. How can anyone think we had a falling out. Jesus.”

  “You done yet?” Violet asked. Katya shot them an annoyed look.

  “I am just saying,” Violet continued, “that it’s a little suspish. And I mean, really? A text? Not even FaceTime or a phone call? Seriously, Katya, what’s wrong?” Violet’s voice betrayed their stone-cold bitch persona, genuinely concerned for their friend.

  Katya started to deny any reason for concern but stopped himself. Shoulders slumped and looking totally defeated, he looked away from Violet’s prying eyes and focused on picking a hangnail.

  “It’s hard now.” He whispered.

  “What’s hard?” Violet prompted.

  “My dick,” Katya replies instantaneously, always turning to humour when the things get a little too serious for his liking.

  “Katya I swear to God…” Violet sighs impatiently.

  “Okay okay sorry.” Katya giggles nervously, eyes darting all over the place.

  Silence.

  “Katya if you don’t start talking soon I swear to God I will—”

  “Okay!” Katya snaps, cutting Violet off. He takes a deep breath.

  “It’s hard now—”

  “You already said that.”

  “If you don’t let me finish I am ending this call right now.” Katya threatened.

  “By all means, continue.” Violet says, smirking.

  “It's… like… ugh! I don’t know!” Katya growls, frustrated.

  “Just do what you always do and let the word vomit happen. I’m sure I’ll catch the gist.” Violet suggests.

  “Okay. So. Like. You know how part of our whole dynamic is that ongoing joke about me wanting to fuck him and him always denying me? It’s fun, right? I always thought so. Going off on those tangents was always such a gas and one of my favourite parts of all my sets. But like. Lately I don’t find it so much fun. It’s like I feel sick every time I start and then I end up going off of my usual script and saying stupid shit like ‘I wish he were my boyfriend’ or something and JESUS. I don’t know. It makes me upset now. Like we’ve gone from ‘ha ha he’ll never fuck me but I’ll sure die trying!’ to ‘wow this is really never gonna happen huh I wonder why I’m not good enough.’” He finishes with a deep sigh and waits for Violet to respond. He fully expects for them to laugh and comment on how silly this was and tell him to just get over it and move on.

  What he’s not expecting is for Violet to remain quiet and stare intensely at what he assumes is his face on their screen. There’s a bit of something (excitement? hope?) in their eyes and Katya doesn’t know what’s happening. If it weren’t for Violet’s chest moving as they breathed he would have thought the connection had been frozen.

  “Vi? You gonna say something?”

  “You’re not done. I’m waiting for you to finish.” Violet replies quickly.

  “Um. What?” Katya asks lamely.

  “Your word vomit. You’re not done. There’s more. I’m waiting.”

  “No? There’s not?” Katya is desperately trying to figure out what’s happening but comes up blank.

  “Jesus Christ do not make me spell it out for y—” before they could continue, someone calls out Violet’s name and they look over their computer at whoever it is.

  “Listen, I gotta go. I’m up soon. Call me back when you figure your fucking shit out.”

  Before Katya can even begin to formulate a response, the call is disconnected.

  ***************

  Katya tries his best to go to sleep, but it turns out to be impossible. He keeps going over his conversation with Violet in his head, trying to make sense of it all.

  He sighs deeply and turns over in his bed, reaching for his phone. Normally, when he couldn’t sleep, he’d text Trixie a multitude of weird facts and random thoughts. The other man would usually be sound asleep but would always reply as soon as he woke up, usually with a simple “Katya what the fuck” before individually commenting on every text he received.

  Normally.

  But try as he might, Katya can’t bring himself to text Trixie. Hasn’t been able to for weeks now. It’s weird. He’s used to texting back and forth every day, even when they’re on opposite sides of the world. Sure, replies may be hours apart, but they still make it work.

  He wonders if Trixie realizes they haven’t texted about anything other than the necessary reasons (such as their upcoming show) for going on three weeks now.

  Probably not.

  Katya opens up their conversation thread and types a simple you awake?

  He quickly deletes it, sounding too much like a booty call.

  hey Tracy it’s your mom

  Delete.

  you would not believe what I saw this afternoon walking down my neighbourhood

Delete.

  are you still being a good person and honouring your NDA or can we talk about AS3 now

  Delete.

  I miss you.

  Delete.

  do you miss me?

  Delete.

  you know it’s weird it’s like I can’t breathe lately and I wonder if it has anything to do with us not talking ha ha ha

  Delete.

  do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve spoken

  I don’t really know how to live my everyday life when you’re not a part of it

  Jesus Christ do you even care

  fuck you

  I hate you

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  DELETE.

  He turns his phone off and shoves it underneath his comforter, deep at the bottom of the bed.

  And suddenly breathing is very hard.

  He tries to catch a breath but finds it impossible. He realizes he’s shaking and tries even harder to calm down. It’s been a while since he had a panic attack. He’s not sure he even knows how to deal with a panic attack any more.

  Because he always calls Trixie whenever he thinks he can feel one coming on.

  But that’s not really an option at the moment.

  “Come on, Katya, put that fucking yoga training to use.” He tells himself, trying to take deep breaths.

  It takes a while, definitely much longer than in the past, but he finally manages to calm down. Well. His breathing is still shaky and his hands still tremble slightly, but at least it no longer feels as if he’s about to die.

  He turns his computer on, opens Skype, and hopes Violet is available.

  Violet Chachki is offline.

  Damn.

  He types a quick 911 in the chat box and, almost immediately after hitting “SEND,” hears the familiar tone of an incoming call.

  “What’s up, slut?” Violet greets him, a light teasing tone to their voice.

  “Figured it out.” He replies numbly.

  “Mmm figured what out?”

  Okay now they’re just being a little cruel.

  “That um. That. That I…”

  “…are stupidly in love with one Trixie Mattel and want to father his biologically impossible babies?” Violet offers helpfully.

  “Yeah that’d be it.” Katya whispers.

  “And what are you gonna do about it.”

  Katya snaps his head up so quickly it’s a miracle he doesn’t cause whiplash.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am going to bury this deep deep DEEP down and never mention it ever.”

  Violet rolls their eyes.

  “So you came to this grand conclusion for what, exactly?”

  “Well now I know. So I can hide it.”

  Violet is about to reply when Katya cuts them off.

  “We have a show coming up, Violet. We’ve built this little niche together. We are a business. I can’t let anything get in the way of that. I can’t do that to him.” Tears prick at his eyes and he can feel his breathing becoming elevated once again.

  “Don’t you fucking dare freak out on me.”

  Well. That’s certainly a different approach from Trixie’s gentle comfort. But if it works it works.

  “Listen to me, Katya, because I am only going to say this once. You’d have to be fucking blind to not see the way Trixie looks at you. Like you hang the fucking moon. And yes I am aware of the fact that platonic love is very real and platonic soulmates are a thing but TRUST me when I say you two are so much more than that. It might’ve started out platonic, sure, but it has definitely grown into something so much bigger. You just weren’t ready. And now you are. So I am going to ask you one more time. What. are. you. going. to. do. about. it.”

  Katya takes a deep breath and lets it out, slowly and shakily.

  “Something really stupid,“ he replies.

  Violet grins.

  “That’s my fucking girl.”

  ***************

  Okay so in retrospect hauling ass to Trixie’s place at four o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best idea.

  But here he is.

  He’s been ringing the doorbell and knocking for the past seven minutes and is seriously considering just hunkering down against the door and sleeping until Trixie finds him later on in the morning when he hears his angry voice from the other side of the door, closer with every word.

  “I swear to God this better be a fucking emergency or if you’re here to murder me you better get it right on the first try because I am pissed the fuck off right now and could probably kill a man!”

  The door is swung open angrily.

  Trixie’s angry face quickly turns to one of shock.

  Katya smiles shyly.

  They stare at each other.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

[chloe-elizabeth-price]

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height 

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

 I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”)   which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..   

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM. 

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry 

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that! 

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these! 

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

[royalboybun]

here are my aaa/chadley headcanons because I’m a nightmare shipping monster and I’m in hell

1) chadley and aaa are similar opposites when it comes to their perceptions of themselves and the world, if that makes sense. aaa internalizes everything and thinks he knows himself (he totally doesn’t), whereas chadley externalizes everything (he tries to hide everything with a cool front but fails miserably) but is surprisingly in-touch with his own emotions once he actually thinks about them

2) that means aaa doesn’t quite realize what drives him to be the best gamer in neopia. generally people play for the love of the game, but he’s gone past that to a need to be above everyone else. he was naturally talented at games and spent a lot of his time in the game room because he never really had any friends (being the quiet nerd that I imagine he was in early childhood) and the arcade kept him occupied and made him feel a little less lonely. but he garnered attention with his scores as he got better and better and now there are people that look up to him??? people expect things from him???? so he wants to keep getting better to a. not let those people down and b. prove that he really IS special in some way by being the best at something...so at this point it’s what keeps him confident in himself and feeling like he’s worthwhile

3) aaa is a repressed nerd and loves the control he feels when he knows exactly what he’s doing and exactly how to move forward, a feeling he doesn’t have in other aspects of life like social interactions. games allow him that control which is something he generally doesn’t have?? not physically strong, not popular, and being a social recluse can make you feel pretty dang powerless/insecure so games help him with that because games are logical and make sense and don’t change wildly out of nowhere like real life tends to

4) chadley’s main beef with aaa isn’t that aaa is better than him??? it’s that aaa doesn’t like him AND that aaa doesn’t care about the people around him. chadley tries SO HARD to get people to like him and aaa just gets popularity and loved ones handed to him on a plate (being the games master and whatnot and having a wonderful little sister), and he doesn’t show appreciation for any of them??? it infuriates chadley tbh

5) aaa’s beef with chadley is that he thinks chadley is full of himself and arrogant and an oblivious idiot. ironic coming from aaa who is literally all of those things and doesn’t think he is ANY of those things…..

6) if we’re diverging from canon here tho aaa’s big beef with chadley is more along the lines of chadley being a huge dick to aaa in school. chadley couldn’t win aaa over and turned to being an asshole instead, and aaa was prime material for being picked on.

7) because…while aaa is a nerd, not all nerds get good grades…..aaa has difficulties focusing on studying and classwork when it doesn’t directly relate to his interests. video games are quick enough to keep him interested and engaged and so he excels in that field, but paper is another story. he just doesn’t care about stuff that he doesn’t feel a need to know??? he’s one of those “smart but doesn’t apply himself” types that teachers despise lmao.... somewhat poor grades combined with being generally reclusive and non-social and scrawny and a lil bit Greasy makes aaa Prime Bullying Material

8) but going back to source material and going to a lighter topic. chadley is the Combination Jock And Nerd. perfect in every aspect!!!! he's the type who aces his algebra test, then wins the dodgeball game in gym, then helps u with chemistry, then plays his solo perfectly in band, then recites his lines with Incredible Emotion in theater after school, and still finds the time to keep his hair looking flawless throughout the day......a jack of all trades!!

9) however I feel like that perfection doesn't come as easily or naturally as he likes to lead people to believe. he stays up late to study and wakes up early to get himself looking Perfect, and he tries his hardest not to let anyone know that he actually REALLY tries hard to be as Perfect as he is. I also get a feeling aaa can see right through it? as unaware as aaa is of himself he can absolutely tell how hard chadley tries bc aaa does the exact same thing when he has to be in games master mode

10) which is another thing. aaa probably has mixed feelings about being games master. on one hand, huge ego boost!! popularity!! doing nothing but playing games, which he loves!!! on the other hand, pressure...publicity...social obligations. so he has this overly arrogant persona to kind of boost his confidence and shield himself from that pressure, at least In My Headcanon

11) but yeah aaa can see right through chadley’s bullshit and it makes him mad that this Total Douche gets to win at life even though everything about him is super fake and super cheesy and this dude totally gets away with it

12) and so diverging from canon once more, I feel like it would take some Realizations And Character Development for them to actually get along. one option is for chadley to see that aaa...does care a lot about the people around him?? and that he feels a pretty heavy amount of stress as games master......like if chadley saw aaa freak out after losing a game I feel like he’d lighten up on aaa a lot and apologize for being a dick when he realizes that aaa absolutely DOES care about his fans and keeping up appearances and he worries about letting everyone down and being...not good at the one thing he should be good at. aaa would be upset about losing a game because he’d feel worthless, and if chadley saw that side of him, at that point they may start getting along. basically chadley needs to realize that being a petty jerk to aaa is Actually Really Terrible, and he needs to apologize and prove that he’s grown bc I imagine it would take a fair amount of time before aaa would be willing to consider chadley his friend

13) I love this ship

14) I honestly don’t see them getting along until they’ve both grown and headed to college though tbh. they meet by chance later and think back on all the Bullshit and they’ve both changed a little (for the better. they’re less insecure now and have found themselves a bit more so they don’t have all those Teen Issues) and chadley apologizes for the past. he’d still have to prove to aaa that he really HAS gotten better but I think in the end they’d get along a lot better after growing up some

15) their first date would totally be a night out at the arcade trying to beat each other’s high scores (obviously aaa beats all of chadley’s scores in the end but chadley can always dream) and then that night they head back to aaa’s house and play smash bros meepit vs feepit until like 5 AM and then crash with the tv still on and the game still running

16) I’m wildly diverged from canon now so I will end this but that’s what I got rn. thank u for reading and I Love You???????? I have a lot of unironic and genuine feelings for these gay furry boys and I apologize for being such a Dweeb

[chxrimoya]

ok i guess i’ll finally get around to typing this whole journal post i meant to for the past damn week lmao.

so it’s tuesday night and i’ve ditched class last wed, this past mon and figure drawing today. i just ain’t up for it. for some reason my sleep quality is so poor, even with a full night’s sleep, i can’t stop myself from napping for 3-4 hours. it’s getting in the way of me doing stuff honestly? i get home and want to clean up my room, play some persona, or draw or SOMETHING but sleep is obviously a priority. it sucks but i gotta do it, lacking sleep just makes it so much easier for me to get into a depressive episode. maybe it’s the irregularity of my sleep? for a long time i didn’t sleep past 2am but i slept at like 4am couple of times in the last two weeks or so.  

this past week or two i’ve slowly progressed from one thing bothering me to another and now i can’t even place my discontent. general malaise, as i’ve been telling other people. hopefully writing this helps me find some fkn way to articulate myself? lmao. honestly i don’t know why, talking to other people helps me cope but hasn’t helped me confront the feelings. they’re still there, bothering me, and i would like them to go away? but they won’t anytime soon i’m sure. and i, as usual, am invalidating myself and how i feel so megakek

so i’ll talk to my journal like i’m talking to someone. 

so recently, i introduced my friend, let’s call her Nu, to my regular group of friends who i usually play games with. i invited her to a bbq at J’s house, and it’s all good and stuff, day passes. I tell her before anything, these lot of men aren’t good at all as dating options but i wouldn’t judge her otherwise, because you can’t rly help who you pick. the only two dudes that day available were J and H and both are kinda shitty, but H is way more shitty than J is; J just got his issues to work out. but fast forward, H messages me about wanting to pursue Nu, and was convinced on trying to be a better person, bc one night on discord we were talking about art and things in general, and i just flat out said i don’t think he’s a good person and he has a lot to work on? so after he says to me on FB, hey thanks i needed someone to say that to me and seemed genuine, so my kind ass heart is like ok sure i’ll help you. he asks me genuinely if it’s ok for him to ask me for help so i say yeah, ofc. he realizes hes being selfish pursing this girl because he’s never had a gf, and that J was also interested but he values himself over J. this was mean of me, but i said frankly to H that i agreed, J is in no place to have a relationship because his life is a fucking mess at home; no school, no work, car’s not passing smog and his dad and mom are still shitty as always (his dad can die for all i care). later tho J agreed with me bc i brought it up with him. anyway, couple days later me and H talk and this guy, he’s probably the shittiest offender i know, because he says autistic, retarded, faggot, gook, all in jest and i HATE him for it. i’m not gonna pick a fight because his dumb conservative ass can choke now, for all i care. i have depression and triggers that send me into episodes, so he keeps using “triggered” all casually and it bothers me. it’s disrespectful. so i ask him if he could avoid using it around me, and i see the typing bubbles for like 4 minutes and this guy is typing an essay about how i’m wrong. deletes it, sends “Lol alright” but goes onto his stupid shpiel anyway even though i wanted to drop it. accuses me of “artificially killing the word” even though i just THINK it’s disrespectful, talking to me in a know-it-all fashion because fucking men always do this. so i remember, this entire time, why i didn’t like him, so i decide this bitch is on his fucking own. but me, being the soft-hearted individual i am, didn’t get mad till couple days later and indignant about the whole ordeal. before my anger, Nu and H and me went to eat and shop a little so fucc everything seemed fine and dandy!! and even now i still help this disrespectful child because i care for Nu, even though I don’t know her well enough to be super comfortable with her. I’m naturally an open person, but the comfort i’m talking about comes with time and i just haven’t known her that long. but Nu, she’s had a bad history that ended only recently, and i honestly would kill for her bc she deserves to be happy. not being pushed around by men who vy for her attention? she deserves someone who cares and validates her, but can still set her straight bc she’s a stubborn girl. the men in her life haven’t been good to her, and she hardly had friends before i met her at work? so i want to be someone she can rely on and talk to but i don’t want her withdrawing into the comfort of a man that can’t even comfort and face his own issues without his toxic pride getting in the way. because that what H is to me. 

he calls me saturday before mothers day, 9amish and tells me he accidentally stood Nu up. he obviously feels guilty. but maybe he’s only guilty because he’ll lose his chance with this girl if he fucks up. i’m tired, i comfort him telling him it’s not his fault, because apparently he overslept his alarm and didn’t wake up until Nu called him. Nu also told me that she had been waiting for an hour for him, showed up 30 minutes early to look nice and surprise him, but when she called 30 minutes after the meetup time, she just wanted to go home. she had limited time that day so she wanted to do breakfast at 8. he wants to make it up to her with a gift, but she doesn’t want a gift, so i tell him to draw something for her bc it’s more sentimental. after the call i talk to Nu about it and she seems pretty upset actually, and after everything, she just tells me she feels “jaded” but she’ll get over it.

i don’t approve. i really don’t. i hate this guy but i can’t really be consumed to even be marginally mean to him because Nu is interested, but even she acknowledges maybe she’s been starved of proper affection that she’s just reveling in it. if this guy can’t be bothered to do me a favor, when im trying to be his wingman and get him on good footing with this girl, i’ll fucking light the bridge on fire. but it’s not my choice to make, Nu’s happiness is what matters more. but it exhausts me? i’ve been there, done that with toxic guys and it’s so exhausting. i have issues i still carry and struggle with to this day because i was manipulated and did manipulate other people, for the sake of a guy. and it’s really not worth it. as i talked to her, the friday before, we hung out and spent a whole day with each other... she has a lot of baggage. stuff she doesn’t wanna bring into a relationship. and we shared a lot of similarities with the people we’ve dealt with. i tell her, friends are here to help you carry that baggage. she doesn’t have to carry it on her own. relationships should be always mutually beneficial to both parties. why invest yourself in something you’ll never get shit out of? you end up empty and pining, and anything will satisfy you. it’s not a good cycle to enter. ive been there!! and fuck man, im still recovering. my value is in myself, not in others. and i love to help people because... simply i wish people would have helped me when i needed it. so i help others because they need it. but i wont help people at the expense of myself, at the expense of people i care about. 

but also, i just... dunno if i feel right, being some sort of arbiter for their relationship. i don’t feel like i should have this power to judge, i keep telling myself i don’t know either of them that well so i really shouldn’t be doing the things that i’m doing now? like who am i to get in the way of their happiness, judge that someone isn’t good, and say yes or no to them entering a relationship? for all i know, it could turn out well. i doubt it, because H has never had a gf and i feel his selfishness extends beyond ignoring J, and more of “finally i can get a gf and not be lonely anymore” bc i want someone to value Nu for who she is. 

maybe i’ll write more when i get to to it but this is way too long already lolol