#i will die on the hill of non-sexual intimacy

[bloo-the-dragon]

waffl

(this is platonic)

[saturnville]

Voting for more hamilton content!!!

wash day, l. hamilton

pairing: he (lewis hamilton) x she (black fem oc) content: non-physical intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy. warnings: none. an: the girlies want lh content, so here we are! likes are cool, but we love reblogs and comments! let me know what you think <3

The soft pallets of her fingertips danced along his scalp. Her manicured nails brushed the sides of his temples, swiping away any beads of stress and insecurity that might have lingered longer than needed. Her gentle actions pulled a moan from his throat. She smiled softly.

A soft hum from the fan in the bathroom was the only sound that could be heard. That and the sloshing of the water in the tub when they moved ever so slightly. 

She combed through the beautiful coils upon his head with her fingers carefully. With ease, the knots and tangles broke away. Strands of his hair fell upon her wrist as she raked through his locks. 

Wash day was her favorite as much as it was his. It was a time for intimacy between them that did not require any sexual activity. Non-sexual intimacy was important. She stood by the sentiment and was willing to die on the hill most desired to climb upward in competition. There were important things, she noted, that deserved cultivation and just as much attention as learning her partner’s body. If she was honest, she felt closer to him in moments like these compared to when his body was pressed against hers.

She easily remembered the first time she participated in wash day with him. She came over one Sunday afternoon and found him in the bathroom scrubbing away at his scalp with his shirt drenched in water. She vividly remembered giggling at his state and offering to lend a hand, which he desperately needed. Sure, some people did his hair for him, but he figured he’d try it out himself. He did learn, however, he enjoyed it when she did it. There was something about being trapped between her legs as she wrapped his ringlets around her fingers, that he couldn’t get enough of.

“My hands are starting to prune,” she admitted as she dropped her hands into the water. She swished her hands to remove the remnants of deep conditioner trapped between her fingers. “You let this sit for a few minutes. I’m gonna rinse off in the other shower.”

She pressed her hands against the floor of the tub to push her body up, but his hands against her thighs halted her movements. “Mhm, stay.” His fingers danced along her calves. 

“By the time you get out, I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t want to shrivel up,” she replied, tapping his shoulder. With a dissatisfied groan, he released her body from the trap he had her in. She pecked his neck as she stood to her feet. 

His eyes were on her as she walked towards the rack that held her black towel. His eyes followed the droplets of water that slivered down her chest, to her hips, and down her brown legs. His tongue grazed over his lip. She sent him a wink before exiting the bathroom and starting towards the other one. 

He joined her hardly ten minutes later. She jumped when she felt his hands on her hips. She turned in his arms, gently shoving his shoulder as a repercussion for scaring her. The playful scowl on her lips did nothing but only egg on his desire for her. 

“Sorry, baby,” he mumbled, drawing her wet body close to his. She hummed in response, allowing her lips to brush against his. Her teeth gently nipped along his bottom lip before capturing his mouth completely in a steam-filled kiss. She swallowed his quiet noises and broke away before his wandering hands spurred her on. 

The warm water beating against them only intensified the heat burning between them. By the time the fire was extinguished, the water was as cold as a winter day, probing them to exit the shower.

“You don’t make yourself discreet at all,” she said while looking over her shoulder at her lover who smiled innocently. He was perched against the doorframe, a gray towel tied tightly around his waist. His damp hair leaked small droplets of water that slid down his bare chest. He smiled at her. 

She shook her head and continued to moisturize. She slid on a clean shirt and underwear. She sat on their shared bed and ushered for him to get dressed so she could finish his hair.

“You want two pieces left out or not?” she trailed off once he sat on the floor between her legs. Beside her was the “hair bin” filled with the creams, serums, gels, and oils they used on their thick locks. 

“No,” he replied, lifting his arms to place them on her thighs. His fingers drew imaginary doodles on her skin. Mumbling a quiet, “Okay,” she retrieved what she needed from the hair bin and began combing his hair softly.

Small conversations and little comments were made, but, a comfortable, silence dawned over them. She was focused on parting, moisturizing, and braiding his ringlets,  and he was basking in the relaxation he felt. He nodded off a few times, only to be awoken by her giggles.

“I’m almost done, baby,” she assured. She took a nice amount of oil in her palms and rubbed them together, taking the time to massage his scalp softly. She ran her hands over his hair, watching as the curls jumped under her fingertips. She wiped her glistening hands on an old towel and then patted his shoulder. 

“You’re good to go. Tie it up.” She tossed a black durag at him, which he caught with easily. 

“Thank you, baby.” He kissed her gently. She smiled and pushed the hair bin to the side, making a mental note to put it away in the morning.

Tiredly, she pushed her body up the bed and swiped her scarf from underneath her pillow. It was silk and smelled like a variety of oils. She tied the fabric around her twisted hair and laid against the pillow. Just moments later he climbed in bed next to her. He was quick to engulf her in his arms and press a gentle kiss against her forehead.

“You know I love you right?”

“Mhm,” she hummed. “I love you too. That’s the only reason I’ll spend four hours doing your hair every month.” 

“I’m lucky to have you,” he said in response. His words were muffled as his lips moved against her neck. She sighed softly at the feeling of the open-mouthed kisses against her neck and his hands against the flesh of her thighs. 

“I’m lucky to have you,” she replied quietly. “and also lucky that wash day is over. I’m going to bed; cuddle me.”

Lewis hummed and slid his hand beneath her shirt, palming the heavy flesh of her chest. “Yes ma’am.”

[drdtnsfw]

I hc that Charles is rlly into non-sexual intimacy,, Like, I will die on the hill that physical touch is his #1 love language. Once Charles becomes comfortable in a relationship, he is a huge cuddle bug. That man wants to hug, spoon, hold hands, have his hair played with, etc etc. but ofc he’s still a massive tsundere abt it, and will almost only exclusively show affection in private (avoids PDA like the plague lol)

sorry this is kind of the opposite? of an nsfw ask lmao but i wanted to share this anyways. But i do actually have a ton of nsfw charles/whit hcs that i wanna send in eventually so maybe expect more of that. i have no one to talk to about my insane fujoshi-ing out moments so this account is a godsend thank yew drdtnsfw mods

-anon

No need to apologize! I haven't asked the others but I'm pretty sure completely sfw asks are fine too, we just don't want to make it a super regular thing since there is an entirely separate sfw drdt headcanons blog.

I agree with a lot of this! He seems like a very intimacy starved character who has a hard time being vulnerable out of fear of being rejected or made fun of for his inadequacies. So once he trusts someone, even if he's mouthy about it, he'll be all over his partner. Snuggles abound!

Thanks for the ask!

[seeingivy]

Hii!💕 Do not worry about writing smut! the way you write the sukuna fic is perfection already! There is already so many fics with smut or is pure smut (no hate on smut tho), IT'S JUST SO NICE TO SEE INTIMACY WITHOUT SMUT, AND YOU WRITE IT SO WELL! (this is a hill I am willing to die on) Keep writing the way you want and are comfortable with, no matter what that is! 😚

HI ANGEL FACE!

dude. I got so nervous because I usually don't toe smut with my writing in general but it's such a focal point of the story that I was scared that i'd let people down if I didn't write it, since I seem to be building it up so much.

BUT THANK YOU! I love the non-sexual intimacy aspect of writing the story and writing about it in the kind of roundabout way that I do. it makes my little heart warm that it resonates with other people too!!!! (and for supporting me as a writer regardless)

(and this is just a random comment but I think it's so funny. there's like a thing that once in a while someone will post in like the satoru x reader or the eren x reader tag and be like GUYS this is all smut does anyone know any good fluff and without fail one of my followers or mutuals always tags me and it makes me laugh but also my heart warm!! that like people just know that's not my thing but read my stuff anyway! I know smut is really popular on here, and for good reason like I literally read it myself + it takes a very specific talent in writing that I just lack to suspend the character but also write that type of heat, but I like that people just read my little sillies and make space for that too!)

[wegonbealright-09]

https://x.com/teamcalicocat/status/1254793246036779008?s=46

i’m here to wax poetic about jimin bc im tired of only hearing about non-jimins and today’s discourse is enough to last me a whole year

i love this thing jimin does when he plays around with feminine sultriness. the video above reminded me of that so i wanted to talk more about it. i wish we could get that more often but i think he really likes switching back and forth and likes keeping people on their toes.

i think a great example of this is the dynamic between SMF pt2 and LC. while the lyrics of SMF pt2 are super queer coded (my personal favorite is “i wont hide anymore even if it hurts”), the delivery is actually more on the masculine side (e.g., baggy clothes (with cunty skin-tight tops underneath lol) and an intense hip-hop sound). on the other hand, the delivery of LC is super queer while the lyrics seem to specifically refer to a woman who is distracting him from his emotions and his chaotic life.

there’s obviously many theories about how LC may be queer coded. for me, the queer coding lies more in the performance and not the actual lyrics. when the mv came out and queer fans began to theorize how the woman that he appears to look for is a reflection of him there was immediate pushback only for the choreography to show exactly that. also, the fact that the korean male dancers were also meant to touch him in the beginning (as we can see on the dance rehearsal bangtan bomb). the fact that that specific detail was “toned down” in the korean performances but not the american one is really interesting to me. (i will die on the hill that the Fallon performance is unmatched, the dancers not only matched his dancing style perfectly but also perfectly captured the sultryness and intimacy of the song).

additionally, throughout the choreography it almost looks like the female and male dancers are in tug of war with him, pushing him in different directions. there’s two instances where he is literally tugged or pulled by a female dancer and then a male dancer. then the resolution is that the dancers are all paired up and he’s quite literally “alone again” and then we transition into Alone where we get answers to what the real underlying problem is which is his loneliness and what keeps him in that vicious coping cycle until he sets himself free from that.

there’s so much to unpack about FACE. i will always be so proud for what he was able to achieve on such a brief record. he really did THAT.

i think that doing that back and forth between masc and fem is really gratifying for him bc he clearly doesn’t like putting himself in a box. that duality is also sort of liberating bc it puts him in a sweet spot where he doesn’t come off as a queerbaiter but also gets to express himself authentically. personally, i think the photofolio, the self-drawn “tattoo” of the male and female symbols, and that time he painted a bi flag out of nowhere are signs that i find it really hard to believe he’s not throwing hints put here lol.

hints about what? his sexuality?

[ifthepuppetmakesyousmile]

my masters thesis on how to determine the horny level of a bee gees song or, how to tell if you need to throw a bee gee in horny jail.

horny bee gees songs come in a couple of flavors. for the most part, when the bee gees sing about love, they’re really singing about love. but sometimes when they sing about love, they are really singing about Fuck, and Fuck and love are different. in order to properly evaluate a bee gees song for its horny factor, we must consider both the lyrics and the complete musical presentation. what does the song SOUND like? what do the instruments do? how fast, how slow, what tone of voice are they singing in? all of these things affect how horny any given song is. first, we examine the lyrics, looking at the meaning of the text. is it to be taken at face value, is it metaphorical, is it autobiographical, is it fictional. then, we examine the sonic presentation. how do the rhythm, instrumentation, and vocal delivery affect the text? where does the primary horny energy in the song lie? i might not be able to analyze every single bee gees song for its horny value, but we can extrapolate and use these criteria as a guide to determine the horniness of any bee gees song.

for instance, “how deep is your love” is very much really about love in general. Fuck may be part of that love, but it is not the primary focus of the song. with a gentle delivery, soft instrumentation, and lyrics that show a deep connection between the singer and their partner, “how deep is your love” is very decidedly about affection and emotional love rather than physical sexual intimacy.  “love you inside and out” is lyrically mostly about love, but it’s also very much about Fuck. it is sneaky. it is musically, especially rhythmically, an extremely humpy song. from the opening bass line, the vibe is set. barry’s delivery is more urgent here. we hear him pretty much parked in his falsetto for the entire song, singing with an urgency we simply do not hear in the album’s other big hit, “too much heaven.” lyrically, we hear the emotional toll of a relationship that lacks equal commitment--she just doesn’t feel what he feels, and it devastates him, but it also sounds like he is crying about this while poundin’ that pussy. through these two examples, we can glean a lot about how to determine the horniness of any bee gees song.

in direct juxtaposition to “love you inside and out,” we find a later bee gees song off of the remarkably horny 1997 album “still waters” called “alone.”  “alone” is musically a pretty gentle song. it’s upbeat, with bagpipes (notoriously unsexy in nature), accoustic guitar, and snare drum as the main instrumentation. lyrically, the overall message of the song is “i have done a lot of fuck, but i maybe should have done a little more love, because now i am alone, which is something i dislike.” though a cautionary tale about the importance of finding the right fuck/love balance, the opening lyrics are perhaps the most explicitly about a sexual act of any bee gees song. “I was a midnight rider on a cloud of smoke, i could make a woman hang on every single stroke” announces a 51 year old barry gibb, terrorizing me. in the following lyrics, he notes how his partner’s body began to tremble. though the text eases up on the direct references to sex, these opening lines have left their horny mark. vocally, this is not one of barry’s strongest performances. delivered in a hushed falsetto on the verses with occasional supporting harmony from his brothers, he just manages to sell the introspection, but the choruses by robin deliver a large amount of the emotional weight of the song. this sets the tone for the rest of the album, however, as even the songs on this album that are primarily about love seem to be about a very sensual, sexual love and above an emotional interpersonal romantic love. following a rejected acoustic cover album, the brothers appear to have focused on writing more mature music that they felt would feel fresh and contemporary in the late 1990s. they’d also undergone an image makeover, as 1997 was to be a very big year for them. a very big, very horny year, with their induction into the rock and roll hall of fame and the 20th anniversary of saturday night fever relaunching them into the public consciousness in north america. it was time for the bee gees to be adults, and they opted to do so by wearing black and singin’ about fuckin’.

the third variety of horny bee gees song is a song that is horny both in text and in musical presentation. songs of this nature pair sexual lyrics with sexual musical delivery. i think as humans we all instinctively know what music sounds horny--we all respond to it differently, but we can all identify that a smooth bass line, cool, relaxed beats and instrumentation, and a slow but deliberate tempo indicate a certain amount of intended sexiness. this may attract or repel us, but at the very least, we notice it. this is the kind of song of which brother maurice is most typically guilty--”dimensions,” “closer than close,” and “house of shame” all fall under this category, easily diagnosed as horny in both meaning and sound. lyrically, mo is the most explicit about his own body and sexual desires in song (the mo penis forecast for today is rock hard with a chance of drip), and his delivery is probably the sexiest and most masculine, lending even non-horny songs a bit of a sexy vibe. his solo performances were rare for the group; some albums would go by without a single mo-lead song. the relative scarcity of his songs makes their unique horniness and sexuality more noticeable. barry has hundreds of songs. if some of them are devastatingly horny, it hardly matters compared to the plethora of story songs, love songs, and songs about the invention of the lightbulb with which he has provided us. a horny barry lead is a drop in the bucket--a horny mo lead is 1/6 of his catalog. robin has very few truly horny songs, as most of his leads are a bit more introspective, melancholy, and full of longing. his voice was very well suited for conveying complex emotion. there’s a reason “lamplight” was the hill he was wiling to die on and not, say, “sensuality,” a horny disaster cut from the 2001 album “this is where i came in”. sensuality is perhaps the best...worst...strongest example of a song that is horny in both text and composition. it’s the kind of song you’re afraid of your parents catching you listening to. it’s the kind of song that i personally have to actively endure. the lyrics are deeply sensual, as could be inferred from the title, but even with the warning of the title, perhaps one is never really ready to hear robin gibb say “body worship.” recorded in 1998, this was hot off the heels of the uber-horny “still waters” and the structure of “this is where i came in had not yet been determined. i don’t know how this song eventually found its way to the public--i assume it just slithered out on its own, determined to be heard. the musical backing brings all of the horniest sounds a late 90s pop track can bring--creamy vocal harmonies straight out of a backstreet boys track, a hip-hop styled breakbeat, and sexy key-change at 4:30, all delivered with the confidence of a horny 48 year old who has seen a fuck or two in his lifetime in one convenient slow-jam. lyrically, it discusses thirsting and hungering for your partner's body, body worship, finding the “center of your universe” which i assume is code for “the clit”, mentions being a slave under an evil spell, compares sex and love with their partner to religion, and then says in no uncertain terms that god is on his side giving him the power to Fuck Good (very well, even.) it is clear to see that both musically and lyrically, this song is about fuck with a side of love, rather than love with a side of fuck.  this song is horny.

with these categories and criteria in mind, we are now free to consider the horny weight of any bee gees song. “country lanes?” not real horny. “all this making love?” incredibly horny. “one?” hornier than you’d guess on first listen but barry says he’ll be your slave. “wish you were here” is definitely hornier than a song i’d write about my baby brother but because it was styled to be more relatable and so posed as a more general love and loss song, we can consider it very low on the horniness spectrum. “esp?” that’s psychic horny. do with this cursed information what you will. i literally can’t think about this any more today or i will rip my own eyes out. the bee gees can be horny if they want and boy do they want.

[floralege]

ship meme thing for allllllla our ships xoxo orumad

omg  the  whole  SQUAD  let’s  fuckin  DO  THIS  !!!   @orumad

who is the most affectionate ?

cilla  and  daisy  are  EXTREMELY  affectionate,  they  just  love  holding  hands,  kissing,  just  being  close.  mick  loves  having  his  arm  around  del’s  waist,  and  he  gets  progressively  more  affectionate  as  the  drinks  go  around.  pru  is  affectionate  with  bee  in  a  very  Horny  Girl  way  24  /  7  so  her  affection  actually  becomes  very  sweet  when  she’s  drunk  /  high.  we’re  not  at  all  surprised  that  caia  and  lauren  are  the  queens  of  affection,  but  mostly  to  each  other.

big spoon  /  little spoon ?

considering  that  she’s  a  vampire,  elliot  needs  SOMETHING  to  feel  like  a  Big  Man  (  ugh,  boys  )  so  he’s  def  got  big  spoon  energy.  liam’s  big  spoon,  but  he’s  always  poking  fern’s  back.  romy  is  big  spoon  for  molly,  but  that’s  probably  an  ego  thing  because  she  def  bottoms.  WHY  am  i  soft  about  duffy  platonically  cuddling  vee  their  whole  lives  until  one  day  it  doesn’t  feel  Very  Friendly  ?  big  soft.

favorite non - sexual activity ?

hunting  sport  (  re:  stupid  humans  )  for  gid  and  rome,  but  at  some  point,  that  turns  a  lil  sexual.  before  he  got  swept  up  into  work,  grady  loved  watching  tracy / hepburn  films  with  cecile.  liam  and  fern  genuinely  loving  jamming  and  shit  talking  together,  cilla  and  henry  love  spontaneous  date  nights,  emmy  and  dom  drink  and  plot  together  that’s  almost  foreplay.  emile  and  marilyn  taunt  each  other  mercilessly,  but  they  really  do  enjoy  getting  to know  one  another  without  that  pressure.  camille  and  emile  are  the  masters of  non  sexual  intimacy,  so  they’ll  just  stare  at  the  sky  or  make  more  awful  bets  with  one  another.

who is most likely to carry the other ?

Big  Ivor  carries  Little  Cecile  and  yes,  we  love  it  !  dusty  probably  carries  vee  and  lucas  around  constantly.  in  a  sad  way,  molly’s  probably  carried  romy  out  of  many  bars  :(  johnny  drags  cam’s  tiny  ass  out  of  clubs,  sadie  and  del  are  both  going  Through  It  so  they  carry  each  other  out  of  many  los  angeles  night  clubs  where  they’ve  started  shit  and  don’t  want  to  deal  with  it.

what is their favorite feature of their partner’s ?

gideon  fully  believes  that  rome  is  the  most  beautiful  creation  of  all  time,  though  he’d  fuck  himself  with  a  chainsaw  before  ever  acknowledging  it  aloud.  hannah  is  genuinely  attracted  to  freddie’s  inherent  goodness  and  idk,  probably  feels  some  connection  with  that  sort  of  brokenness,  too.   pru  loves  bee’s  nose  and  will  do  the  bradley  cooper  nose  touch  thing  from  a  star  is  born  when  she’s  drunk,  probs  to  bee’s  annoyance.  jack  literally  believes  is  kimber  is  SO  fucking  cute  and  wonderful,  it  aches  her.  mick  is  obvs  taken  with  the  eyes  AND  the  boobs.  call   it  fucked,  but  emmy  loves  when  dom  goes  ice  cold  on  someone  ---  just  not  HER.

what’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other ?

johnny  and  cameron  likely  bickered  more  often  and  tbh,  i  feel  like  one  mick  realized  he  had  legit  feelings  for  delphine,  he  acted  super  weird  and  the  whole  family  noticed.  fern  was  probably  very  gentle  about  it  but  liam  went  full  tf  is  up  with  you,  kid  ?  cameron  and  freddie  always  inherently  had  feelings  for  one  another,  so  it  was  just  there  from  the  get  go.  

nicknames  ?  and  if  so,  how  did  they  originate  ?

most  of  the  nicknames  are  just  ones  everyone  sort  of  had  growing  up  ?  pru,  bee,  vee,  mickey,  duffy,  del,  etc.  like,  i  don’t  know  if  any  nicknames  are  singular  to  any  particular  ship  tbh  they’re  free  for  everyone.

who worries the most ?

fern  worries  about  liam  more  than  she  lets  on  and  it’s  probably  her  inner  saboteur  that  has  her  cope  with  that  by  drinking  with  ethan.  gideon  worries  about  lauren  CONSTANTLY,  because  he’d  legit  die  if  anything  happened  to  her  or  caia.  he  doesn’t  worry  about  rome  necessarily,  but  he  gets  wind  of  her  endeavors  without  him  and  hopes  she’s  staying  safe.  jack  wonders  if  she’s  going  to  fall  into  old  habits  the  longer  she’s  around  pru,  del,  and  co.,  so  she’s  worried  about  disappointing  /  hurting  kimber  because  of  that.  arlo  knows  coco  has  her  shit  together,  but  he  can’t  help  but  worry  !!!  she  doesn’t  need  his  concern  and  he  knows  she  can  handle  herself  but  he  does  !!  want  to  help  !!

who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant ?

bee  probably  remembers  the  food  at  fancy  restaurants  that  don’t  make  pru gag,  so  she  always  reminds  her  what  to  get  ;  dom  can  be  upsettingly  charming  when  he  remembers  what  daisy’s  favorite  dessert  is,  and  she’s  never  convincing  when  she  pretends  to  be  annoyed  that  he’s  already  ordered  it.  on  the  flip  side,  emmy’s  known  dom’s  drink  order  since  they  were  sixteen.  grady  remembers  the  gist  of  cecile’s  favorite,  but  ivor’s  always  the  one  who  rushes  to  the  kitchen  to  let  the  chef  know  exactly  what  her  preference  is.  simon  has  em’s  thai  takeout  order  MEMORIZED.

who tops ?

shocked  to  learn  that  bee  wasn’t  kidding  about  the  occasional  topping  !  though  daphne  def  topped  her.  mick  physically  tops,  del  does  it  emotionally.  molly  tops  romy  which  is  amazing  for  their  height  difference,  and  olivia  and  esme  def  battle  it  out  every  time,  LOVE  that  for  them.

who initiates kisses ?

cilla  is  big  on  kissing  often,  so  henry  tends  to  arrive  at  parties  with  some  trace  of  her  lipstick  on  him  every  time.  with  everything  going  on  in  the  press,  dom  and  emmy  are  wise  to  play  up  their  affection,  but  behind  closed  doors,  he’s  definitely  the  one  to  initiate.  dusty  probably  drunk  kisses  lucas  every  time  and  it’s  just  never  mentioned  ever  again.  jack’s  horny  on  main,  so  she’s  always  all  over  kimber.  meg  initiates  kisses  often,  though  mostly  as  a  power play.

who reaches for the other’s hand first?

cameron,  always.  johnny,  freddie,  cecile,  etc  ---  doesn’t  matter,  she’s  holding  their  hand.  duffy  gets  VERY  excited  about  holding  vee’s  hand,  so  he  tries  it  often.  jimmy  probably  tried  to  hold  sadie’s  hand  once  and  she  elbowed  him,  but  caia  loves  all  form  of  affection,  so  she  got  very  flustered  when  he  first  grabbed  hers.  simon’s  learned  to  place  a  hand  at  the  small  of  em’s  back  when  they  attend  events  together.

who kisses the hardest ?

unless  she’s  drunk,  pru  has  no  idea  how  to  be  soft  so  she’s  always  kissing  with  a  bigger  plan  in  mind.  liam  probs  kisses  rough,  too.  simon’s  big  on  heady  kisses,  and  if  ivor  ever  gets  the  chance,  HELL  YEAH.

who wakes up first ?

cilla’s  only  an  early  riser  if  she  hasn’t  gone  to  bed,  so  henry’s  usually  the  one  trying  to  make  sure  she’s  up  before  noon.  dom’s  always  up  early,  and  while  daisy  was  the  type  to  mumble  sweetly  for  him  to  stay  longer,  emmy  usually  doesn’t  stir  unless  she  wakes  up  in   a  Mood  and  pulls  at  him  to  stay  behind.  bee’s  always  up  before  pru,  and  pru  thinks  that’s  a  complete  crime.

who wants to stay in bed just a little longer ?

gideon  obvs  doesn’t  sleep,  but  when  he  allows  himself  to  rest,  he  demands  WEEKS  of  going  undisturbed,  so  imagine  a  pale,  lonely  freak  vampire  sitting  in  the  woods  and  staring  at  the  sky  motionless  basically.  meg,  unlike  bee,  happily  sleeps  in  late  and  takes  her  sweet  fucking  time  to  do  it,  though  with  sid  she  always  skips  out  before  morning.  ivy  doesn’t  believe  in  anything  before  one  pm,  so  surprise  surprise  that  nora  started  suggesting  breakfast  dates  for  nik.

who says i love you first ?

since  they’re  all  stupid  soft,  gonna  go  out  on  a  limb  and  assume  it  was  mostly  mine  idiots  who  said  it  first.  except  for  obvious  ones  like  sadie,  who  ran  to  the  hills,  and  gideon,  who  believes  love  is  too  weak  to  encompass  it.

who tells their family/friends about their relationship first ?

listen  EVERY  CHARACTER  IN  EVERY  GENERATION  IS  TOO  CLOSE  so  nobody  needed  to  be  told.  someone  gets  together,  and  by  the  time  they  home,  the  information  has  fully  been  spread.  

what do their family/friends think of their relationship ?

each  ship  has  their  own pros  and  cons,  and  while  certain  people  have  LOUDER  opinions  (  fern  loves  bee,  doesn’t  understand  why  pru  let  her  go  ;  if  cameron  were  alive,  she’d  be  politely  and  quietly  apprehensive  about  camille’s  friendship  with  clem’s  son, the  same  with  daisy  and  henry  /  cilla,  etc.  )   but  it’s  usually  either  we  hate  this  (  meg  @  pru/bee,  sadie  @  mick/sadie  )  or  we  love  this   (  fern  @  pru/bee,  mick  @  jimmy/caia,  dusty  @  duffy/vee  )

who is more likely to start dancing with the other ?

lauren’s  always  the  one  who  gets  elliot  dancing,  grady  would’ve  sat  in  the  corner  at  his  own  wedding  if  not  for  cecile  while  simon  LOVES  to  dance  and  always  guides  em  and  asha  out  to  the  floor.  pearl  will  pull  ANYONE  out  to  dance  with  her.

who cooks more/who is better at cooking ?

cameron  is  a  horrible  cook  and  has  set  freddie  and  johnny’s  respective  kitchens  ablaze  many  times,  marilyn  has  specialty  dishes  but  she’s  too  lazy  to  cook  often.  ivor  knows  the  basic,  but  he  whips  them  up  for  cecile.  nora’s  excellent  at  cooking,  but  for  some  reason,  only  nik  and  coco  have  ever  tried  it.  

who comes up with cheesy pick up lines ?

simon  is  often  too  hetero  for  his  own  good.  clementine  is  guilty  of  this,  too,  but  she’s  cute  enough  to  get  away  with.

who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times ?

BIG  ROME  AND  GIDEON  ENERGY.  also  big  dom  and  emmy /  daisy  energy.  jack  and  kimber  are  definitely  guilty  of  this,  too.  jules  probably  whispered  something  indecent  to  bella  at  cecile’s  wake  (  big  ow  typing  that  !  )  and  it  made  bella  feel  so  normal  for  five  seconds  that  she  was  sort  of  always  endeared  after  that.

who needs more assurance ?

given  their  history,  hannah  and  freddie  need  a  lot  of  reassurance  from  each  other.  that  was  obviously  a  problem  for  mick  and  look  how  THAT  turned  out.  immediately  post  rehab  romy  needed  a  lot  of  validation  from  molly,  which  became  messy.

what would be their theme song ?

MOST  OF  THEM  HAVE  SOUNDTRACKS  AND  SONGS  BUT  THERE  ARE  A  LIL  TOO  MANY !!!!!!

who would sing to their child back to sleep ?

cameron  could  NOT  sing,  but  did  it  all  the  time  for  daisy  and  henry,  so  bless  freddie’s  patience.  fern  walked  in  on  liam  softy  singing  one  of  his  inappropriate  songs  to  pru  once  and  loved  it,  a  la  baby  emma  and  baby  got  back.  duffy  does  this  constantly  for  his  daughter,  and  vee’s  definitely  caught  him  a  few  times.  emmy  would  never  sing,  but  she  def  played  medieval  choir  music  over  bastien’s  baby  monitor  and  dom  was  full  ????  over  this.

what do they do when they’re away from each other ?

most  of  the  time  they  literally  do  not  shut  up  about  the  other  person,  for  better  or  worse.  or  it’s  messy  and  they  don’t  consider  them  enough.  it’s  VERY  one  or  another,  which never  turns  out  well.

one headcanon about this otp that breaks your heart.

AGAIN  too  many  to  choose  from  but  the  way  we  wrote  charlie  out  and  put  johnny  in  as  daisy’s  father  ?  astounding,  10  /  10  because  that  works  a  little  TOO  well  for  the  dynamics  that  played  out  with  gen  two  and  makes  cam’s  death  hit  a  little  HARDER.  also  we’ve  been saying  this  for  years  but  ivor  /  dom  interaction  pls.  the  scandal  of  it  all.  

one headcanon about this otp that mends it.     

soft  concept  is  the scooby  gang  (  there’s  no  freddie,  just  gay  daphne,  a  shaggy  and  scooby,  and  velma  )  having  elaborate  halloween  plans  every  year,  even  if  it’s  just  to  have  a  movie  marathon.  costumes  are  often  required,  and  dusty  LOVES  some  good  riddles,  so  she’ll  get  every  stoned  and  hide  clues  around  the  apartment  that  lead  to  the  snacks.

[pixiemunsons]

harry holland alphabet

this is an apology for not uploading any one hundred years recently! i’m v sorry they are coming but i’ve had a lot of personal stuff going on right now. i hope you understand, and i’ll have the 1920s installment soon. until then, i hope you enjoy this

a = aftercare (how they are after sex)

so sweet and lovely, it’s like the second you finish he becomes a new person- he just wants to look after you and make you comfortable

b = body part (their favourite body part on them and you)

i feel like he really loves his own hair, like he never cuts it and i feel like he really enjoys when you play with it and pull it during sex

on you- harry is an ass guy and i will proclaim this until the end of time, boy loves resting his head on it, grabbing it, playing with it he just loves your ass okay

c = cum

harry would love to come inside you, whether it be your mouth or your pussy. he loves claiming you as his own, and thinks that that is the best way to do it

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i don’t think you and harry would have that many secrets, but i think that he’d definitely keep it to himself that he wanted a threesome. not that he thinks you’d disagree- quite the opposite, actually. as much as he loves the idea of fucking you alongside another man, he’s way too possessive to ever let it happen

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing)

i don’t think he’d have been with loads of people before you, but definitely enough to know what he was doing and make you feel good

f = favorite position

i 100% think harry is an ass man so maybe doggy or missionary but with you on your front. i don’t think he’d be into reverse cowgirl but that’s only because i think he’d like to be in control

g = goofy (are they more serious or humorous in bed?)

harry would be serious until he had a reason not to be if you know what i mean? like i think he’d be really into it but if you accidentally hit heads or something you’d end up laughing and you’d have to stop for a minute

h = hair (how well groomed are they)

i think he’d be the same as anyone in any relationship, like keep it up for the first few months but i think as you become more comfortable with each other it wouldn’t be that much of a deal to either of you how either of you groomed really

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment)

i think he’d be really focused on getting you both off, honestly. i think he’d be really caring and sweet but that he’d want to finish you off before him every time, and i think he’d prefer it rough and hard

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i feel like harry would have to let you know whenever he jacked off, including sending you which photos of you he was using, the ideas he had for the next time he saw you and, on the odd occasion when he felt especially cheeky, he might send you a video of what he was doing

k = kinks

harry seems like someone who is very open in the bedroom, and is up for anything you want to try. however, i do feel like he’d be really into light bdsm stuff like spanking, hair pulling, light face slapping etc. his kink is honestly making sure you’re both enjoying it as much as possible

l = location

a n y w h e r e he feels like it. obviously, if you’re not into it, no big deal, but i think he’d try his luck anywhere. tom’s trailer, his living room, the back of the tour bus, a bar. most of all though, he’d just love having you in his bedroom, where no one will disturb you and you can go as long as you want

m = motivation (what turns them on)

he’s a young guy so i don’t think it would take much, but harry seems like the sort of person who gets turned on by a lot of non-sexual stuff as well as sexual things. for example, he’d love red lingerie and you biting your lip but he’d also love when you ran your hands through his hair or when you adjusted your jeans

n = no (something they wouldn’t do)

probably not any really intense kinky stuff. like i think he’d be really open to most stuff, but things like knife play and wax just don’t do it for him

o = oral (preferences in giving or receiving)

obviously most everyone prefers receiving oral, but i think harry would enjoy giving just as much. for him, there’s nothing hotter than knowing that you feel good and it’s all because of him

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

definitely sensual and caring, but rough and fast at the same time. i think harry would be very good at switching his style up, and adjusting to suit the mood of the sex, whether its a quickie or a long love making.

q = quickie

living with five other people in his house, the two of you get very used to quickies, grabbing a quick five minutes whilst everyone is out or ten minutes while they’re in the back garden. he’d always make up for the short sessions when you had more time though

r = risk

harry’s definitely the sort of boy that would fuck you with one hand over your mouth as he replies to his mother through his bedroom door and that is a hill i will die on. as i mentioned earlier, i also don’t think harry would care if you were in public, so he’s definitely a risk taker

s = stamina

depends on the situation. if you both want a quickie after not seeing each other for months, it would be a few minutes of really intense, passionate sex. However, if you wanted to spend time with each other and draw it all out, he could go for hours

t = toy

he’d probably find your toy by accident and he so intrigued by it that he’d want to use it straight away. like if you’d gone to grab some water and came back to find him sat on your bed with your vibrator in his lap, you’d probably blush bright red at first. that is, until he’d look up at you with a little smirk and ask for a demonstration

u = unfair

he doesn’t seem like he’d ever be unfair. he’d want you to enjoy every second as much as he did, and he never understood those boys who were okay knowing that their girl wasn’t happy with their sex life

v = volume

ya boy is LOUD. like, loud. even though you were constantly shushing him and telling him that the whole of london could probably hear him, he still kept up the volume. he knew you loved it secretly, even if it led to a few awkward moments with his brothers

w = wild card (get a random head canon)

can you imagine the first time you slept with him? you’d maybe been seeing each other a month or so, and you weren’t expecting much from the first time because it was never amazing with someone new. however, the first night you slept at his house is what some would call a sexual awakening. despite having previous sexual partners, the way harry used his tongue and fingers on you had you falling apart before he even got inside you. each orgasm would be punctuated with a cheeky smirk, and before you knew it, you were both hooked on each other

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

he EXHUDES big dick energy on a level seen in few. the way he speaks, smiles, talks, the way he holds himself. all these things honestly just lead me to believe he’s packing a good 7.5 up

y = yearning (how high is his sex drive)

like i said earlier, he’s a young man, barely out of his teen years really, so his sex drive is likely huge. wear his shirt? he wants to fuck. walk past him and wink? he wants to fuck. you could probably fold his laundry and he’d want to fuck

zzz = (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

you’d probably both fall asleep really quickly, because no matter how rough or gentle, fast or slow the sex is, it’s always really intense

bonus: he’s small spoon 90% of the time, because he just really loves a cuddle

[destinychose-a]

name :   kirishima eijirou

nickname :   ei-chan, kiri, shitty hair

gender :   male

romantic orientation :   homoromantic

preferred pet names :   he’s not so sure he has one ( at the moment ), but any shortening of his name is a sure-fire way to make him stupidly fond, particularly  ‘ ei ’ . the likelihood of him casually calling his significant other  ‘ babe ’  is pretty high, though.

relationship status :   single & not actively looking, but he’s more than open to any possibilities that life decides to throw his way.

favourite canon  /  fandom ship :   at this point, i’m pretty sure i’ll be standing on my kiribaku hill until the day i die ( although i despise how the fandom portrays them and i refuse to make kirishima’s character all about bakugou and/or their relationship ) as their dynamic is one of my all time favourites in canon due to the mutual respect they have for one another, even though horikoshi seems to have forgotten that they’re friends.

i’ve recently come to adore and appreciate kirikami so much after years of never really having the opportunity to explore their dynamic on the rpc scene. as they already have such a solid friendship at the foundation of their relationship, they have the potential to be so cute romantically, a little boisterous but incredibly supportive and physically affectionate.

outside of those main two, i can see potential in ships ( both romantic and platonic ) between eijirou and basically anyone in 1-A and other first year students given his personality, so i’m pretty much open to anything at this point!

favourite crossover ship :   i don’t have one at the moment! but, as stated above, given eijirou’s personality i wouldn’t rule anything out!! so long as they’re not an adult, obviously.

opinion on true love :   while eijirou isn’t exactly a romantic at heart, he wants to believe there’s someone out there for everyone, even if it’s not something he personally dwells on. he’s very much a  ‘ go with the flow ’  kind of guy and doesn’t worry too much about whether or not he’ll find himself a long term partner  —  he imagines it’ll happen one day, and looks forward to meeting them, but he’s in no rush as things stand.

opinion on love at first sight :   he’s somewhat sceptical of this one, particularly after spending a lot of time around peers who are constantly proclaiming they’ve fallen in love with someone based on a brief first meeting. he doesn’t tend to look at someone on a superficial level and fall for how they look  —  while he can appreciate a good looking person, it very rarely goes beyond  ‘ oh, they’re pretty / handsome / good looking ’  before his thoughts drift elsewhere. for eijirou, falling in love is a slow, careful, virtually unnoticeable thing, and while he doesn’t judge anyone who falls in love in a different manner, he doesn’t really understand this whole  ‘ falling in love at first sight ’  thing.

how  ‘ romantic ’ are they? :   at first? not in the slightest. eijirou has no real concept of how relationships work as he lacks a lot of experience, and as he’s already a very physically affectionate individual, the leap between friendship and romance might seem nonexistent. he has a habit of treating the relationship similarly to a friendship, with the tentative additions of hand-holding here and there ( although he gets a little nervous and his palms will sweat a lot, don’t judge him ), but as he and his partner spend more time together and feelings ultimately deepen, the shift will become more noticeable. especially after a first kiss happens, in which case the affection will increase tenfold. expect him to be all over his partner at any given moment ( hugs, hand-holding, kisses, draping himself across his partner’s lap etc ) and be the most sappy boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

while he can be oblivious and completely miss the subtleties of a moment, he’ll remember the most obscure things about his partner ( spoken absently in conversation, or noticed ) that other people might usually overlook and go as far as to treat his partner to their favourite food that they mentioned in passing that one time. he’ll never forget a birthday ( anniversaries are another thing entirely ). he never lets his feelings go unexpressed or let things pile up to the point of an argument. he’ll send his partner  ‘ good morning ’  and  ‘ good night ’  texts every day without fail. he’ll make sure to set aside time for his partner if he notices they’re sad or in need of some extra attention, but he can be a little overbearing and fail to understand when his partner needs space. ultimately, he’s a very affectionate, loving, supportive boyfriend, but is rarely ever intentionally romantic. he just wants his partner to know that he cares and that he’s been thinking of them.

ideal physical traits :   eijirou doesn’t particularly care so much about physical traits  —  no matter what they’ll always come second  —  but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to preferences. typically, he loves muscles and strong arms, but he also loves softer bodies that are super huggable and longer/soft/fluffy hair that he can sink his fingers into/play with.

ideal personality traits :   in broad terms, eijirou has a habit of seeking out passionate people who know what they want out of life and are doing everything in their power to get it. he likes people who are laid-back, who know how to have fun and share a similar personality to his own. he likes people who are kind, generous, outgoing, who have a strong set of morals that they adhere to. if a person encompasses any of the previous points, it’s likely that he considers them  ‘ manly ’,  a term that applies to people he admires, regardless of gender.

unattractive physical traits :   eijirou doesn’t have any. looks aren’t a game changer for him in any instance and he doesn’t find anything physical about a person  ‘ unattractive ’.

unattractive personality traits :   people with the kind of personalities who intentionally go out of their way to harm  (  physically, mentally, emotionally  )  another person for their own sadistic enjoyment. eijirou can be extremely forgiving and laid-back, able to look past the surface of how a person acts if there’s some goodness nestled beneath an egotistical, brash personality, but if someone enjoys the act of hurting another person and actively seeks out the chance to do it, he wants nothing to do with them.

ideal date :   eijirou loves high energy dates. going to an amusement park, hiking, rock climbing, paint-balling, even sparring  —  of course this depends on his partner, but he loves going out on dates that involve having fun, even if they aren’t necessarily romantic. he enjoys the typical chill-out indoor dates, too, such as ordering takeout and watching a film together or playing video games. he likes being able to make a whole day out of a date, so if he can find a way to combine a high energy outing and follow it up with something more chilled out, you can bet he will! 

ultimately, he’ll throw ideas out there to his partner, make compromises as and when is needed  —  he wants his partner to enjoy themselves as much as he does, and is always more willing to scale things back and focus on something they’d prefer to do instead!

do they have a type? :   typically anyone who embodies the points listed under  ‘ ideal personality traits ’  which tends to encompass a lot of different people, so it’s difficult to pin down his  ‘ type ’.

average relationship length :   currently unknown. however, it’s likely they’ll be longer term relationships, as he’s not the type to do anything by halves.

preferred non-sexual intimacy :   he loves holding hands with his partner. however, he’s a serial cuddler, especially when asleep.

commitment level :   as mentioned earlier, eijirou doesn’t do anything by halves. he doesn’t think about how long the relationship will last  —  instead, he focuses on how he feels. to that end, his commitment to his partner is unshakeable. for as long as they’re together, his partner won’t find a more loyal, committed, loving boyfriend than eijirou. 

opinion of public affection :   a lot of things depend on the comfort of his partner, but as far as his feelings on the matter go, he doesn’t mind it so much. hand-holding happens all the time, and if he’s not holding their hand, eijirou will often lean against his partner’s side, drape an arm around their shoulder, sometimes lie with his head in their lap or even pull them back against his chest so he can hold them. kissing is typically a private thing.

past relationships? :   he’s never been in a relationship before.

tagged by :   @doltage​  (  this was a while ago but thank you, marina! this was so much fun!  ) tagging :   @cursecloud​  / @twnkling​  /  @yeonban​  /  @fukenzena​  +  anyone else who wants to do it!

[foteina]

lil facts about stella's sexuality in honor of pride month:

stella has never had any issues regarding trying to find out her identity, probably because her brother came out pretty early in life and spent a lot of time on educating both of them through books he'd find about the matter.

solaria doesn't really face any discrimination of sorts because romantic & sexual identity are not perceived as treats, so yeah, one can come out without fearing for their life unless specific cases ( y'know, specific people particularly narrow minded ) in that case the government offers help to those in need.

after luna ànd radius' divorce stella wasn't really into the idea of dating anyone, to the point she thought she might as well be aro/ace. it turned out it was more of a fear that her relationships could turn out like her parents and she would have had to pick up failure after failure. she started recovering from these thought with the help of therapy.

still, stella considers herself demiromantic, and in a sort of way i can see it being more than an hc because in some cases, while the girls would comment on whether random guys were attractive, she'd comment on their fashion sense--- that's a thing she tends to do a lot, she's completely disinterested in people unless there's some sort of bond already created. she's also bisexual, with a preference towards women.

on liking robby: he was her classmate, they were seated together in class. we can assume she spent enough time around him to develope some kind of crush. then again i think stella really just wanted the attention of the cutest guy in the class so that she could make a point about her popularity and things escalated, she didn't really like him. on liking diaspro: i have already talked about this somewhere but yeah, i think in my canon d would be the very first person stella ever loved. they were childhood friends, had a lot of common experiences as crown princesses etc. i think her very first heartbreak was also when diaspro didn't think twice about chosing sky over her. on liking brandon: well, as i already mentioned, in my canon they met when they were around 10/11. with sky being her closest cousin, stella would spend a lot of time with b as well. he understands her, stands by her without pressuring, knows when to speak up and when to stay silent, is literally the missing piece to stella--- he has what she needs and vice versa and that's why the work so well as a couple. falling for brandon is easy, because that level of intimacy developed with him through the years, she's got it with nobody else. on liking bloom: i think in some aspects she is like diaspro, but also on a whole spiritual level, you feel? like, stella and bloom are bonded by a common fate / destiny / prophecy--- that stuff is weird. also they reflect each other despite their different upbringings. winx club had always been conceived as a bloom and stella story, the hero and her "sidekick" who lead her to a whole new life, saved her from the boredom of a world too mundane for her. stella and bloom's friendship is one of the most iconic things in the history of cartoons and i wish we had more alternate universes to see their relationship ( wow stella is in love with bloom and i'll die on this hill, i don't care )

in her non-winx verses she's probably had a couple of one night stands. even in that case, her night partners are always people who she's had a conversation with prior to the sexual encounter and usually has common interests / quirks / particular stuff in common with. however these encounters are very very very rare.

[hidetothink]

can white cis gays like you stop trying to act like you're the only part of the community

Dear Anon,I apologize, but you will have to be more specific? What community do you mean?Do you mean the communities of gays and lesbians in the U.S which formed in the 1950's as solidarity among same sex attracted people fighting against the brutalization and legalized oppression of homosexuals and homosexual love? Communities which risked everything to fight against institutionalized homophobia when homosexuality was viewed as little more than a mental illness to be beaten, electrocuted, raped, or sterilized out of someone? Perhaps you mean these communities of people experiencing same sex attraction who build the foundations for the soon coming, and more well known, gay rights movement?Somehow I doubt you mean those communities.So perhaps you mean the "LGBT community," originally formed in the U.S. following the increasingly influential gay rights movements of the 70's and 80's? A community formed of L: (exclusively same sex attracted females), G (exclusively same sex attracted males), B (persons who experienced same sex attraction alongside their opposite sex attraction), and T: (same sex attracted persons, the majority males, who worked to pass as members of the opposite sex).You may note, dear anon, that there was a surprising connection among these groups! Though it may deeply surprise you, this community was formed FOR and BY persons who experienced same sex attraction, and by extension, the brutal results of homophobia. They were not separated and unrelated groups who came together for no reason. They were people united by their same sex attraction and the oppression they faced from it, and fought against this persecution.Somehow I doubt that you mean this community. Perhaps you mean the "LGBTQA community"? An evolution of the LGBT community which worked to include both "questioning" and "allied" persons who were not necessarily same sex attracted. This change gave plausible deniability to those who wished to interact with the greater LGBT community in the U.S. while maintaining the ability to claim heterosexuality as "questioning" or merely "allies." This was merely another form of the LGBT community protecting same sex attracted people in a violently homophobic world. Once again, community focus was on same sex attraction and its demonization in society. As with every incarnation before it, the LGBTQA community remained BY and FOR same sex attracted people and their fight for equality.Somehow I doubt you mean this community.Perhaps then, you mean the more modern "LGBT community." A community no longer focused on homophobia or same sex attracted persons due to changes in its definition."Gender identity theory" (a concept no human has yet to explain to me in any sensible, non-sexist form), the automatic inclusion of non same sex attracted individuals, and a litany of other ideological mutations have skewed what it means to be LGBT. Today, it has nothing to do with being effected by homophobia, nothing to do with same sex attraction, but rather with "failing to fit the cultural norm." Consequently, any community of people, from quirky heterosexuals to "socially outcast" kinksters became part of the "Queer Community."Perhaps you mean THIS community? One which has evolved into the increasingly homophobic and misogynistic community of people pushing for the dissolving of female exclusive spaces.Pushing for the redefinition of sexuality into a nonsense term which not only lacks function but also threatens to undermine the laws which protect those of persecuted minority sexualities. Pushing for the co-opting of oppressed minority identities on the basis of....whether a person really REALLY wants it?Pushing ideological legitimacy by abusing and stealing the concepts, cultures, and histories from people of color.Pushing ideological legitimacy by using intersex people as nothing more than a tool to be thrown away and ignored when failing to fit a narrative.Pushing for an oppressing class to be given the right to "reclaim" the slurs of those they hold privilege over, again, on the basis of how BADLY THEY WANT IT and how willing they are to misconstrue the facts.Pushing for children to be given untested medical procedures, children who are unable to give consent, children who will by the majority grow out of their dysphoria, and children who will most likely grow into same sex attracted adults.Pushing for sex based oppression to be replaced with gender ideology, which either falls apart when critically examined for more than a moment, or is outright defended as a belief system morally above both the need for proof or criticism.Pushing for oppression based on same sex attraction to likewise be replaced with nonsense gender theory which cannot be criticized without being labeled a murderous, bigoted, hate-monger worthy of death and rape. Or at least threats of such punishments.Pushing for a modern, liberalized conversion of homosexuals into heterosexuality by insisting lesbians and gay men open themselves to relationships and intimacies with those of the opposite sex simply because these individuals "identify" as members of the same "gender identity" or even sex. So, dear anon, which community do you refer to?The community which fought, suffered, and died for my right to live as a gay man more free and equal than ever in the history of the U.S.? The community which was created by and for same sex attracted people to protect and empower them? The community which concerns itself with actual reality and institutional oppression? The community which cares about homophobia even after the "cis gays" got their right to marry and everyone else decided the hill to die on was the right for males to enter female protective spaces, for "queer" to become a catch all for any societal divergent rather than a historic and disgusting slur, and for cis gays to "get over" their "transphobia" and stop being so frustratingly exclusively same sex attracted?Or perhaps you mean the community which is pushing for exactly what I described above? A community which is, in the eye of history, a mutation of its foundations so diametrically opposed to those foundations that I'm pressed to wonder if it's even worth being considered part of its lineage.I wait eagerly for your response, dear anonSincerely,A "white cis gay" who will not shut up and sit down when my identity and my history are attacked by my oppressors simply because members of "the community" demand it.

[copiosis]

How To Create An Economy That Works. Even if People Don't.

COVID-19 this year shook the world out of complacency. We see with clarity that our economy doesn't work if people don't.

That makes human beings slaves to the economy. So much so, some willingly will die for it.

That's crazy. It also literally means humans are cogs in the economic wheel. We here at Copiosis hear this sentiment often. People say "how can you create a society where people won't work when so many things we need, need people working to provide them?"

That, dear reader, is a kinder way of saying, "people must work for me whether they like it or not."

That is slavery.

But we can have a vibrant economy, even if people don't work. Just because you might not know how that can happen doesn't mean it's impossible. What we're creating with Copiosis is opportunity for all. Not just opportunity, truly unprecedented, first-of-its kind opportunity: Freedom and Wealth For Everyone in an economy that works even if people don't.

When we use the word "freedom" we mean something specific:

^^We mean something specific when we use the word "freedom".

Opportunity, wealth, freedom

When we combine opportunity, wealth and freedom together, we mean something specific too. What do we mean by this?

We're creating societies that thrive on moneyless economies. Talk about an economy - let alone a society - that thrives without money. You'll be met with blank faces or rolled eyes. Humanity and money have been together for so long, we can't conceive what society would look like without it, even though there was a time when human societies used no money.

Common belief suggests no civilization can survive without a thriving economy and economies can not function without a viable exchange medium.

Our almost religious belief in money as the sin qua non of functional economies, brings with it a panoply of problems.

"Those problems will intensify until we kick existing structural systems to the curb, replacing them with something better, including a better way to reward those who produce value."

That quote was the original paragraph of this post that went here. As you can see, way back in 2014, years after we published the original, societal problems HAVE intensified. With that intensity come calls for running society differently.

Eliminating money from civilization is a grave issue. Money is not the root of all evil, but for many reasons, money causes nearly all problems we see today. Eliminate money and virtually all these problems disappear. No endeavor holds more promise.

More of us are discovering the theory of how moneyless economies might benefit humanity. What it would look like and how it would function are different matters.

Let alone how we might pay for such a transition. Copiosis answers both the what and the how, including the part about paying for it. Without these answers, such societies will remain merely theoretical.

How does this equal opportunity, freedom and wealth, for everyone?

Look at the one percent. Opinions to the contrary, the majority of these people, especially the newer ones, have far more in common with the 99 percent than not. A common thread running through these multimillionaires' experience is...well, here's what they say:

...you will never have to worry about things like retirement, being able to send your kids to college, paying for catastrophic medical problems, working if you don't want to.

...well, I can basically do anything I want. So what do I want?

I knew it meant I'd never, ever have to work again unless something went terribly wrong.

The only thing I really desire nowadays, is for "self actualization". How do I leave a legacy in a short life?

What is real wealth?

Being wealthy is less about money and more about what money allows.  Wealth = freedom. Remember Abraham Maslow?

He wrote a paper a long time ago called “A Theory of Human Motivation.” The paper later became a book “Motivation and Personality”. You may not remember the writings. I’m sure you remember his famous Hierarchy of Needs.

To review briefly, Maslow asserted five motivations behind human action.

Psychological - Satisfying survival needs (breathing, food, water, sex, homeostasis, etc)

Safety - Gaining security: physical, resources, health, property

Love/Belonging - Satisfying needs in sexual intimacy, friendship, family

Esteem - Gaining respect of others, respect by others, achievement leading to confidence

Self-Actualization - creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, acceptance of facts, etc.

The five motivations above are written in backwards order. They really look like the pyramid below, with step five representing the pinnacle. The others come underneath it.

^^By User:Factoryjoe - Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs.svg, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7964065

People generally strive to climb the pyramid, the goal being Self-actualization. Some people, most people, get to level three or four. Few reach level five.

The main thing about being wealthy is your priorities. With wealth, priorities shift up the pyramid. Radically different life experiences result. No, not flying in private jets and screwing the 99 percent. But taking time to completely understand oneself, then achieving those things that add to one's self-worth, -esteem, and the higher states of being human.

This is what Copiosis offers everyone. How?

By replacing money

Copiosis replaces money with Net Benefit Reward. Net Benefit Reward is not money. Some of its functions are similar to money in appearance. Yet, Net Benefit Reward is limited in ways money is not.

Net Benefit Reward, like all rewards, represents an expression of a society’s gratitude to an individual whose acts benefit society and the planet. This is a critical difference between Net Benefit Reward and money. Any reward is a gift. It is not something the recipient expects in return for something. Nor do they earn it.

Typically, rewards are awarded after the fact. Sometimes, the person or organization offering the reward is a third party to the act itself.  Recipients of said rewards are usually not expecting such recognition. They are instead performing acts of their own volition for purposes other than receiving the gift of recognition.

For example, a Marine receives the Medal of Honor, the greatest wartime distinction in the US Armed Services. Did the Marine commit his act of bravery in order to receive the award?  Of course not.

He didn't say to himself: "If I do this, I may win the Medal of Honor! Semper Fi!!!!" then charge the hill. When he returns to the rear after single-handedly saving his platoon, he doesn't walk into the Platoon leader's tent and say: "Where the hell is my Medal of Honor? I earned it!"

^^Coast Guard/Navy/Marine Corps Medal of Honor[/caption]

Instead, such men are thinking (in the moment): "We're pinned down. If someone doesn't do something, we're all gonna die." Or, more likely, he just takes action because that's what he does.

In the rear, he'll explain it this way:

"Hell man, I was just doing my job, protecting my fellow Marines."

If you read such accounts, this invariably is the "hero's" response. It is the Staff Sergeant, the Platoon commander and their chain of command - the Marine's "society" - that responds to this Marine's "just doing my job" - his act - by rewarding him with the Nation's highest honor...after the fact. After all the details are in, often after several months go by, maybe, even years.

This is how Net Benefit Reward in Copiosis works too. Producers act. They act because they are passionate about what they are doing. They are doing that thing as an expression of their passion. They do that thing because they can't think of anything else they'd rather be doing. If they could be doing something else, they'd be doing that.

They could be doing it because their passion is to make society better in a way they know how, in the way that fulfills them. They could be doing it because they just love doing that thing and they'd do that thing if society was around or not.

A Copiosis society responds to Producers' "passion expression" by rewarding them. Producers can then use that reward to access certain other rewards. Things that are only accessible....not through reward....but through acts.

There is no exchange going on. There are only acts. Society rewards desirable acts by making accessible certain tangible rewards. Incidentally, Medal of Honor recipients, once rewarded can use that reward to access other rewards not accessible to others. Net Benefit Reward functions similarly. In a Copiosis economy, "certain rewards" are luxury goods and services.

Necessities (food, clothing, shelter, education, healthcare) are provided to all at no cost. Producers who make necessity goods are acting. Action which produces Necessities are rewarded by the Copiosis society with Net Benefit Reward. That is how Consumers receive Necessities at no cost.

Is Copiosis akin to that fabled "gift economy" people theoretically talk about? Or is it an exchange economy?

It doesn't really matter. This is how Copiosis works.

Shortly after the transition, producers may feel they are owed this reward like an exchange.  Such feelings don't describe how Copiosis works.  Copiosis doesn't "make" people feel this way.

That feeling is an artifact of a system where people needed money to buy things they needed to survive.  The way they got that money was to earn it (through work). Debt fostered expectation—if money didn't come, one risked loss. The longer the delay between work performed and money paid, the stronger the expectation. Foiled expectations lead to anger, workers' rights and labor unions. After all, work in the old days was often dangerous, life-threatening and extremely physically demanding. Creditors were unforgiving as well. Fail to pay your debts and you could lose all your possessions, even your children and your wife.

This doesn't happen in Copiosis. Everything you need is provided at no cost to you. Society covers the "cost" as an expression of gratitude (Net Benefit Reward) towards producers. With all Necessities provided, everyone instantly experiences wealth unparalleled. The first two levels of Maslow's hierarchy - where most people invest their time achieving - are instantly covered.

But it doesn't stop there. People now are free to do whatever they want in pursuit of climbing the pyramid.

Freed from earning a living, it's natural that people will perform acts best-suited to their talents. Now they have time to discover who they are, what lights their fire. Contributing to others and to society then becomes natural.

Copiosis creates a functioning economy with no medium of exchange. That same economy overflows with acts at all levels and in all sectors. Acts creating tremendous prosperity. No money required.

COVID-19 showed us how crazy we've become about money, economics and systems we use to run those economics. Let's enjoy a vibrant economy, but let's not give our lives to it. Economies should support us living. We don't know about you but living isn't worth living without freedom, wealth and opportunity.

Copiosis offers all three. To find out more about Copiosis, visit Copiosis.com.

[meganmazing]

fics i read while on vacation

I went to australia to visit family last week, and boy oh boy are layovers and delays a joy - especially when you are not a person who easily sleeps on planes. To cope, I ended up downloading a bunch of long fics and binge read them all. The hardest part was just picking a few (lol) of what I read for this list.

Here are some of the ones I loved the most. They’re mostly cherik but there’s also a klance, a drarry, and a stony or two (or three) because those pairings are like my comfort food when it comes to fanfiction, and I needed that the past two weeks (hello, canceled flights and difficult support staff). These are also all rated either Mature or Explicit, so if that’s your thing, join me. This is a long one.

As always, if you want more recs from a whole host of pairings and more nonsensical gushing about why I love them, check out my bookmarks on my ao3: megamazing. All links below go to the ao3 version of the work. Click the titles for the link even if the little line doesn’t show up under them. And don’t forget to leave kudos for the authors and share the love!

CHERIK

No Longer in Silence by Black_Betty  26k  Rating: E

It has been eight years since Charles has seen Erik. Eight years since they parted under unkind circumstances and Erik went off to sea. The boy he once knew is Captain Lehnsherr now and they are as known to one another as strangers, and yet--Charles finds that eight years has done nothing to diminish the feelings he had when he was 16 and in love.

It's unfortunate then that Erik doesn't feel the same way.

(Persuasion AU)

The writing in this is incredible, truly. It’s in Charles’ perspective and the emotion coming from him throughout this one kills me in the worst and best ways. And Erik, my utter love. It’s based on Persuasion, so it’s Jane Austen, so you know damn well that there will be misunderstandings galore, and yet...

I usually avoid non-powered AU like the plague, but I gave this a shot and I am so, so glad that I did. Regardless of whether you like/know the story it’s based on, you will fall in love. It is heartwarmingly romantic, and still earns it’s rating in the end. This is a forever-rec, fit for everyone, and i will be shouting it from the rooftops forever.

Tessellation by nekosmuse  116k+  Rating: E

He had been following Xavier's career for years. He had read and reread and reread again everything the man had written. He had tried, on more occasions than he could count, to recruit Xavier into the Brotherhood, but each request for a meeting had been denied. Aside from his work, no one knew anything about Xavier. Not what he looked like, not the full extent of his power--though from what little they did know, he was by far the most powerful telepath in existence--and not what his intentions were.

The man was a recluse. As far as Magneto knew, Xavier had never once stepped foot outside his impenetrable Westchester manor. And now he was scheduled as the keynote speaker for the largest pro-mutant conference in the world.

This is the novel length cherik AU fic you didn’t know you needed. To be fair, I do not read many fics involving Genosha, but I may be reconsidering my preferences after this one because I WAS IN LOVE. It deals not only with all the romance/love/fluff/banter I adore with cherik, but it really gets into Charles and his disability as well as his relationship/history with alcohol. The relationship feels so genuine and believable that I was smiling and aching for these two by turns. I also love Emma in this? More Emma in fics, please.

Mutually Beneficial Transaction by Pookaseraph  41k+  Rating: E

In his sophomore year at Columbia University, Erik, feeling slowly strangled by his mounting college debt, places an add on a sugar daddies website. He doesn't know exactly what to expect from it, but when he's contacted by a man named Charles who seems less creepy than the other people who have responded to his profile, he decides to give it a shot. Charles is nothing like what he expected, and Erik finds himself slowly falling in love with his sugar daddy while trying to find out exactly what caused this amazing guy to buy his emotional and sexual intimacy when he clearly deserves so much more than that.

Pulled straight from the highly emotional comment I left on the fic immediately after reading: “This story is fucking fantastic. In every way. I usually steer clear of non-powered AUs, but holy shit I am so glad I clicked on this one. I'm in love with their love and you wrote this so fucking beautifully my emotions are all over the place. I will rec this until I die. All the love and kudos to you <3″ Here is me, holding up my end of the rec’ing bargain. I was in A State after finishing this story, if you couldn’t tell. The relationship between our boys here is so complicated and vastly different from what I've read before.  

If you are looking for sexy humor and angst for days, then look no further. I wanted to hug them both, constantly. They needed it.

Urban Legend by toesohnoes  10k+  Rating: M

They say that if you stand in front of a mirror and say his name three times Magneto will appear. Charles has never believed in urban legends and he's never been capable of turning down a dare.

Urban Legend was downright mesmerizing. It reads kind of like a campfire story (but with M rated bits, so maybe not one for the kiddies), and the atmosphere it created was elegantly creepy. Because i came in already loving Eric, part of me was rooting for him and Charles, while the other half was screaming for Charles to GTFO.

You Know My Name by dvs  11k+   Rating: M

Erik and Charles are spies with something in common.

Look. I know this isn't a Man From U.N.C.L.E. fic, but it gave me MFU feels and it does the Cherik relationship beautifully, so it pretty much has it all. Erik is Bond, Charles is charming, and I am craving more of this universe. It’s fast paced and from Erik’s POV, and tbh I just found the whole thing dangerously sexy. Plus, the plotty bits were right up my alley.

Tale As Old As Time by madneto  44k+   Rating: M

Charles is a bibliophile living with his stepbrother in a remote village. Erik is a lonely prince with an affliction he doesn't know how to control. Logan is the greatest hunter in the whole world.

Pretty much what it says on the tin. If you've seen Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" you know pretty much exactly what you're getting into. Lots of fluff.

So, you may or may not know I love Beauty and the Beast. And yet somehow, despite that, I wasn’t totally convinced that I was going to love this fic. WRONG. I was so wrong to doubt. It was everything you want out of this kind of AU, while still holding true to Charles and Erik. The story feels very much like it’s own thing, which is so important to me in AU stories. I also love the way the author played with mutations and the curse. I desperately want to give more specifics, but I feel like it would spoil things? Which is weird for a AU this well-known, but I really felt like this author made it their own.

Final quick mention: Love Runs Out by ikeracity   24k+   Rating: M

Just yes. This is one of my absolute favorite modern!AU with powers fics. It's just so sweet and loving and it makes me happy. Apartment complex neighbors, a whole host of mutants, and a community center that made me smile so much. You need a good, fluffy read every once in awhile, okay?

STONY

Rom-Commed By Fate (Or JARVIS) by leashy_bebes   14k+   Rating: E

The best thing about being an Artificial Intelligence is the ability to parse, filter and modify the things people say until you've got the cause to do exactly what you wanted in the first place. Or, in which JARVIS cock blocks Tony into having an actual relationship.

This has everything I love about stony in one form or another, and I was so jazzed to see that I hadn’t already read it! How I missed it, I have no idea. Steve’s characterization in particular really hit the nail on the head for me. It is so sweet (I am seriously understating the fluff here, trust me you will melt) and sexy, and like I said before, we all need some good, happy fics once in awhile. Break up the angst-fest with what I pretty much consider required reading for fans of stony. It’s like a little taste of everything there is to love, with minimal angst.

JARVIS is an honorary Avenger in my book, and I love the Avengers fam dynamics. Fight me.

Any Other Way of Loving by brandnewfashion  27k+   Rating: E

In which Steve is bad at dating, Tony isn’t, and neither of them are as subtle as they think.

I have re-read this one multiple times. Not even on purpose, just because I keep gravitating back to it somehow, and I love it more every single time. It’s fake dating, but is it? Totally. Maybe. Our boys are a bit slow on the uptake. I love their dialogue in this one. Bants for days. I will die on the hill of Tony Stark, and this fic has great Tony POV. Also, great pinning on both ends. (that sounds dirty, but I don’t actually mean it that way this time)

The Last Love Song of Anthony E. Stark by jibrailis   42k  Rating: E

After contracting an Asgardian virus, Tony starts forgetting things. And people. And Steve.

So if you read that summary above, you can probably guess that this one is not fluffy. There are wonderfully heartwarming and heart-wrenching moments that make you feel all the things, but I don’t think I would call it fluffy. It’s Tony POV all the way, and that makes the pain even worse! This story is so good. The writing is spot-on, and the style of storytelling had me hooked.  

Wanna feel pain and sadness and read a really moving story that has a genuine plot? What if I told you that there are also sexytimes, and pinning, and on-point jokes and moments that hurt my heart and melted it at the exact same time? Not convinced? Asgard roadtrip. With Loki and Sif. Also, Steve loves Animal Crossing. Did I mention the sexytimes?

Specifically, I found the way that Tony dealt with everything happening to be completely accurate for the character, and the same goes for Steve, Loki and Sif. And stony low-key feels until they are very much no longer low-key. But the memory loss hits you harder every time, and the aspect of unreliable narration absolutely killed it.

DRARRY

Reparatio by astolat   17k+   Rating: E

Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”

“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—

“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”

It’s that thing that looks like fake dating, but is really, really not. You know what I’m talking about. It also looks like friends with benefits, but who are they kidding? Not me. Barely even kidding themselves, and even then it’s not for very long. Draco and Harry banter fuels me. This one is Harry POV, and it’s very well done. Draco is also cunning and strategic, which so many people tend to drop off in favor of just making him just a sassy prick, and I was so here for all of that. Pretty sure Harry was too, deep down.

The one thing that had me going, hmmmm, is that Ron and Hermione are not together, but there is no drama there so it’s really not a big enough deal to make me put it down. No character bashing, which is a must for me.  

KLANCE

Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend   38k+   Rating: M

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet goofball continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him...at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith. Summaries are not my strong point, alright?

aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

Maybe no one asked for it, but I certainly needed it. This was one of those “why-not” clicks for me, since I don’t usually go for this kinda thing, but WHERE HAS THIS FIC BEEN ALL MY LIFE. I loved every second. The humor, the banter, the perfectly written sexytimes, and the awkwardness you just knew was gonna happen the minute you read the summary, were gorgeously timed and executed.

This is a rom-com in fic form, but a bit more graphic. Lance and Keith being happy and smile-y with each other is my kink. This fic also reminded me that phone sex is a great, great thing indeed. Not to mention, Lance has a bit of a praise kink? Sort of? Say what you want, I’m here for that.

[dryctarth]

“Tales of Wedding Rings” A Manga Review

Spoilers for this manga! (MLA style)

The front cover has an enticing image of Young Anime Woman looking up at the reader in a gaze of love, the wedding ring of the title glowing on her finger. Not the worst pose, but it sets up the tone of the story as something to be slightly disappointed by: this is a high-school boy sex fantasy (feel free to self-insert). This is accentuated by her ample bosom on display through a school uniform (complete with a hint of lacy bra) framed by an Inexplicably Loose Tie And Unbuttoned Shirt. There isn’t a good reason for this except BOOBIES! And while there are many people who appreciate them, the story never seems to set up whether the MC Girl is willingly displaying or if it’s just the author/male gaze, so the cover is odd right away. But the Medieval Fantasy Cloak and intense stare make it worth picking up, especially since “Wedding Rings” are uncommon title words.

The synopsis on the back makes it seem like Hime (the MC Girl) is very aware and clever, manipulating her Hot Childhood Friend (Satou) into marrying her and taking on the role of hero. This is a lie. It is very disappointing.

Inside Cover: Another shot of Hime, in full color (nice) and in what is soon-to-be-revealed standard school uniform, plus a fantasy cloak and staff (foreshadowing as the justification in the story is just as silly as the outfit itself). 

The story begins with Hime’s arrival (in full color) as a young girl of 7-8 (looks at least 10) and an Old Wise Grandpa in front of a young boy who’s all like, wtf mate? She tells him to forget he saw her being all magical and stuff. This is good (1). Then he comments on the next page (full-page color inked spread) that he fell in love with her instantly. The spread is defined by an image of her as a young girl on the right and her in her current age in standard revealing outfit to the left (actually takes up 1.5 pages) looking all shocked and scared. This is weird since her breasts are heavily emphasized, sexualizing her next to her younger self. A bit creepy (2,3). 

The story actually begins by fast-forwarding to present day where She Wakes Him Up (but with an onigiri instead of toast, realistically wrapped in plastic-wrap, also the wake-up is in color) (4,5). From here MAYBE establishes that she and her grandpa moved in nextdoor to Satou and he’s in love but they’re Best Friends and so Cannot Sex. Luckily they go to school, where Male Friend #3 says, “You’re so lucky, Satou. Guys with girlfriends can be so chill.” (11) to which Satou correctly says they aren’t together. His downplay of the situation is really offset for the reader since in every shot of Hime we’ve seen so far she’s got the girls out in a short skirt and acts like Teasing Anime Totally-Don’t-Like-You-Baka-Girl. Also she wears a pair of wedding rings on a necklace and they’re Really Important and as kids they promised to get married, cuz kids are dumb (7-9). So at school she texts him from two feet away and they go to the festival!

This is where the problems really start. While it doesn’t make sense for Hime to dress like that in school, it’s not that weird for anime/manga. But then in the festival scene she dresses up in a nice yukata while Satou is in Regular No Effort Boy Clothes (with the Untucked Shirt mod for variety). Background characters are portrayed similarly, but it’s weird that he didn’t dress up at all. OR change clothes at all. Or put any effort into an event where he can reasonably expect Hime to dress up and plans on confessing to her. 

Of course, before he can, she says she’s leaving to go away forever. He gets glum and they go home. Then there’s a light on a hill and he runs at Plot Speed for her to say she’s getting married and then he hops in the portal before it closes. Note, the portal is good as it keeps to the symbolism and themes we see later on around her (manga are bad at page numbers). He appears in the middle of court in a wedding ceremony where Hime is being married to Mr. Anime Prince. Immediately. Like, the portal led right to the center of court where everyone was waiting for her to pop out and immediately marry her off without even changing or brushing her hair. Really? 

Then Satou appears and then a monster attacks. And everyone’s all like, “Quick, marry the prince and Do The Thing!” And so Hime looks around and kisses Satou and slips the ring on his finger. Bam! Magical wedding. This is super-super-very-horribly-bad-and-dumb.

Everyone is all like, “WTF! Foreigner!” but Old Wise Grandpa is like, “Cool, also oof,” and Mr. Anime Prince is like “Thank goodness it wasn’t me, here’s a sword, don’t die!” After saving the day Satou passes out from the exhaustion of being kissed and swinging a sword.

He awakens in the Royal Bedchamber to another kiss. He’s still in his school outfit for some reason. At this point I think the author was just too lazy to draw multiple outfits. Hime appears in a Low-Cut Royal Dress and they go out to a balcony to make a Heroic Speech About Saving The World. In his school uniform even though everyone is calling him the “Ring King” (I give up on page numbers). This is dumb. 

There are some shenanigans in the bath and we see the usual “Don’t look! We’re just friends, right?” “Yeah.” “Ok good, (darn it!)” This is dumb since it puts the characters in the situation in which they are married (though Hime says it’s just ceremonial) and thus should be allowed to Have Sex, but since they’re Just Friends and Cannot Sex and they haven’t had enough time dating to ease into intimacy, they Cannot Sex for no reason other than to preserve their Non-Slut status (he must be virtuous and good and she must be pure). While it makes sense for them to be awkward, the plot doesn’t focus around it as a point of lack of experience, it’s clearly for the pretend sake of their virtues. 

Then a monster attacks, we learn that Hime powers up the Ring King (with kisses, of course) and the heroes flee with Gramps and Mr. Anime Prince, who is very relieve to not be in Satou’s shoes, all because the monster is too strong. This is ok.

They find an inn where Gramps explains the Creation Myth: The Abyss King was bad, so everyone made magic rings of five elements which were symbolically given to the Ring King, who beat up the bad guy. Then the rings were split up and given to mortal men, doomed to die. Except actually they are princess, doomed to be forced into a ceremonial-but-totally-not-because-their-relationship-powers-the-rings polygamous marriage. So yeah, doomed to die. This is kinda dumb, but has the potential to be interesting if it were handled maturely. Considering that the other princesses are shown as naked shadows, this will not be the case. Meanwhile, Hime is unhappy since she and Satou just had a surprisingly mature declaration of love and commitment to each other that was refreshingly straightforward and cute. This is good.

They still Cannot Sex. This time it’s because they haven’t eased into intimacy, which could have been good until Satou says something dumb and Hime reveals on a chapter end-note that she’s scared of His Massive Manliness (because obviously He’s A God Among Men, which we actually see earlier when, after the bath scene, she remarks to herself that he’s big and holds her hands apart suggestively).

From here they vow to go out and get the other rings so Satou can save the world. The elves of Wind are next and Satou imagines them to be super sexy. The last page suggests the princess is xenophobic instead (though probably naked).

The author’s note indicates this is MAYBE’s first stab at fantasy and is thus too simple. This is true, but it doesn’t excuse the work. This should have been fixed by the editor. The whole thing is a sex fantasy where the boy is trying to pretend to be A Nice Guy and therefore gets married and waits slightly so they can become more comfortable. But it’s so rushed that the focus isn’t on actually being nice and caring, it’s just on preserving that perception so he can Bang The Girl.

The whole thing could have been improved so much, though, if Hime had been as manipulative as the synopsis suggested. During the wedding she’s timid and weepy and picks Satou out of love, desparation, and fear. She wasn’t set up with him originally, he was just the first familiar face. Instead, she should have been planning this, telling Satou about the leaving and marriage to trick him into chasing her out of his unconfessed love. Then she could have kissed him right away, given him the ring and sword, and said good luck in front of everyone, being confident in the whole thing. Later she’d confess that she was secretly nervous and scared and had to appear confident for the people’s sake. She could have told him the whole thing about his role and the ceremonial nature, saying that she was sorry for using and deceiving him, sorry for being selfish, but she wanted this sham marriage to be with someone she at least loved as a friend, if not truly romantically. That would have set up a much stronger character for her as well as significant inner conflict for Satou. Does he forgive her? Does he resent her? We’ll never know.

Ultimately I wish it were better. It could be, but it wasn’t due to negligence of both the author (in never changing their outfits and making them dumb in the first place) and the editor (in not suggesting better characterisation). It is adequate, but not much more. It is predictable, and I wish it were better, but I probably won’t go look. If you just want boobs, look elsewhere. If you want fantasy heroes, look elsewhere. If you want cheap manga versions of Harlequin romance, here ya go.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Why are People So Threatened by Open Relationships?

http://fashion-trendin.com/why-are-people-so-threatened-by-open-relationships/

Why are People So Threatened by Open Relationships?

I

 got married recently. The wedding was, if I may say so myself, almost criminally perfect. There was very good wine and everyone cried. I spoke about luck in my vows — the luck that webbed its way between us, that brought us to the same place at the same time — but I could, I suppose, have also been talking about the luck that allows us to speak freely about our love, to express it in a way that raises few eyebrows. We are a monogamous, heterosexual couple, and despite our racial differences (my husband is Indian, and I am a ghost), our relationship looks and feels like one that mainstream society can easily understand.

There was another lovely wedding I attended a few years back. Electric blue fish darted around glass bowls on each table, and both my friend and her soon-to-be husband were surrounded by their loved ones — loved ones that included their secondary and tertiary partners. Theirs is a mostly closeted, consensually non-monogamous relationship, each of them engaging in at least one, often many, romantic and sexual relationships alongside their own. They now have a beautiful baby who recently learned how to eat broccoli one tiny flower at a time.

We’re both ordinary and in love, my friend and I, but I get to talk about my love more freely than she does, and when I tried to explain their arrangement to another friend, that friend (also married, generally very loving and accepting) protested the very idea of non-monogamy so violently that she burst into tears.

All of this is to say that romantic love is wild and varied and looks very different to different people, but consensual non-monogamy — a relationship in which one or both partners carry on other romantic and/or sexual relationships with the full knowledge and consent of the primary partner — remains a marginalized and stigmatized form of love, filed away by many as an incomprehensible kink, disrupting mainstream society’s understanding of what a loving relationship should look like.

While exact numbers are difficult to pin down (especially since many are hesitant to reveal their relationship status), researchers estimate that “4-5 percent of Americans participate in some form of ethical non-monogamy” — and those numbers are growing. Yet two recent studies revealed that the majority of Americans view non-monogamous relationships significantly worse than monogamous ones when it comes to trust, intimacy, respect, honesty and closeness; another showed that consensually non-monogamous relationships (CNMs) were perceived as “dirty” and “immoral.” It seems an odd hill to die on when you consider that a survey of 70,000 Americans found that one in five had cheated on his or her current partner. Monogamy is somehow both a necessary virtue and one that many people struggle to uphold; remove it from the equation entirely, however, and the relationship gets tagged as obscene. So why is society so threatened by non-monogamy?

“These days, if you have two temporary relationships sequentially, you are normal. If you have two permanent relationships simultaneously, you are a ‘degenerate, herpes-infested whore.’” Those are the words of philosopher Carrie Jenkins, who has written openly about her polyamorous marriage. She’s become accustomed, if not inured to, the abuse lobbed at her, her husband and her boyfriend. In her book What Love Is: And What it Could Be, she investigates the shifting nature of romantic love and the various arguments for and against monogamy.

“Non-monogamous love,” she writes, “poses distinctive destabilizing risks that strike directly at the heart of romantic love’s social function.” Many of us are incapable of conceiving of a model of love that so assertively deviates from that which places the nuclear family at its center; this makes poly love, according to surveys, the subject of more vitriol than same-sex or interracial marriage.

Dr. Sharon Glassburn, a family and marriage therapist in Chicago, believes some of her poly clients are “more stigmatized and closeted” than some of her gay and lesbian clients. “These relationships smash apart false securities and binaries,” she says — the societal rules we depend on to create a structure in which we can feel secure.

For Laura, 34, getting involved with a married man in a CNM meant confronting her friends’ attitudes. “The people who were usually rooting for me and checking in about my relationship status were suddenly absent,” she told me. “My married friends, who love living vicariously through my single girl life, were completely silent. When we did talk about it, they just seemed very confused, projecting their own understandings and arrangements around fidelity onto the situation. There was a lot of, ‘I just can’t understand how that would work,’ or ‘I would never want something like that.’” Laura’s own reservations lessened dramatically when she met her partner’s wife.

“It was clear to me how much his wife’s opinion of me mattered to him,” she says. “We met for a drink near their house, and afterward she gushed about how much she liked me. I could see the change in him immediately. He was almost giddy. He became much more sweet and excited about our relationship. It was almost as if her approval made him like me even more.” This openness, and the clear respect he had for his wife, brought him and Laura closer.

Their meeting also refuted what Laura’s friends had been telling her — that this dude was clearly lying about his wife’s feelings; that he had been the one to instigate opening the relationship; that his wife was “the long-suffering one, alone and insecure.” In Susan Dominus’ lengthy 2017 New York Times piece on CNM, only six of the 25 heterosexual couples she interviewed were opened up at the man’s suggestion, and, in general, the women were more sexually active outside the relationship. This is supported by a 2012 study of 4,062 poly-identifying individuals: 49.5 percent of respondents identified as female, and 35.4 percent identified as male (the remaining 15.1 percent either declined to choose or wrote in other genders).

The fact that more women appear to be both the instigators of and the more active participants in CNM is counter to traditional beliefs about gender divisions, an understanding that has itself been shaped by centuries of conditioning about the position of women as child-bearers and homemakers. Esther Perel’s work draws on studies that demonstrate that women are not, in fact, biologically conditioned for monogamy: They are much more likely than men to experience a loss of sexual desire in long-term relationships and are more aroused by novelty than men. And while the historical conception of polyamory tends to be that of a polygamous structure in which men are religiously or culturally empowered to take multiple wives (leading many to feel that poly relationships privilege men), many of the earliest proponents of contemporary non-monogamy (such as philosopher Bertrand Russell) believed CNM would destabilize traditional patriarchal relationships, which he believed were created to give men reproductive control over women.

Erica and her partner were monogamous for eight years before she began dating another woman. She had been clear with him since the beginning about her queer identity, and “it was always on the table that I might feel the need to explore that someday in the future.” His ability to accept that possibility, she says, was one of the reasons she felt comfortable choosing him as a partner.

“I tried very hard to accept the societal standard of ‘mating for life,’” she tells me, “and it caused me a lot of stress. Investigating the religious and biological background of the idea made me feel even more like it was not what I wanted. Unlearning the unfair ideals that society sets up for women and the ideas about love that are taught to us from birth is a huge challenge, one that I am constantly working towards.”

Their marriage has evolved since they embraced nonmonogamy. “I think we both feel a lot more independent and able to express our needs in respectful ways. It has become more important to see each other as individual people, rather than place expectations on each other as romantic partners,” she says. “He has other partners, romantic and sexual, and tends to have involved relationships with women that last a long time. I have found that I am more of a free spirit. This has allowed me to really strengthen some of the other types of relationships in my life and explore new ways to connect with people outside of the realm of what is considered dating. Our intent has always been to make strong personal connections and have more loving relationships with people. If sexual connections happen, great, but it’s not the main goal.”

And while they have been open with their friends and family about their relationship dynamic, they’ve faced skepticism. “My family’s reaction was somewhere along the lines of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ though they made sure to let me know that this did not align with their religious beliefs,” she says. “Some of my husband’s male friends reacted with a sort of, ‘Hey, now you get to sleep with whoever you want!’ kind of attitude, which is really not what he wanted from this change at all.”

Erica and her husband are, for the time being, “platonic partners,” no longer sexually involved with each other. She’s unequivocal in her belief that an open marriage was the right decision. “It makes me very happy to see my partner grow as a person, be better able to express himself and to feel more confident. I feel like I have also grown and become happier, and learned a lot about myself. The duality of having your own independent self-worth, and also the ability and freedom to explore your own needs and desires in turn, gives you a sense of security that I think a lot of monogamous couples lack.”

So what’s so scary about that?

“I think it comes down largely to the science of human attachment,” says Dr. Sharon Glassburn. Romantic bonds — their inherent vulnerabilities and the intensity of emotion they involve — draw on primal feelings of safety and trust, and yet the structures society has created to shore those up (monogamy, marriage) are neither biologically- nor historically-informed. “Permanent monogamy” is unique to both our species and our cultural moment. Additionally, says Sharon, most people don’t make it through their 20s or 30s without encountering infidelity, either by experiencing it themselves or watching it destroy other relationships. “The idea of non-monogamy summons a very visceral and protective response, not to mention a PTSD response if prior infidelities were in the equation,” she says. “These protective or trauma responses put us in our ‘lizard brains’” and make imagining a relationship structure in which our partner doesn’t solely belong to us entirely difficult and frightening.

“Nearly everyone has feelings for other people,” says Sharon, “but an open or non-monogamous structure brings repressed or suppressed feelings up that some folks would rather compartmentalize.”

Erica agrees: “I think jealousy comes from fear and insecurity, and people would rather project that onto others than face what they are really afraid of.” In fact, studies have found that people in CNM relationships experience lower jealousy, higher trust and higher sexual satisfaction with their partners. Which is not to say that non-monogamy is for everyone, but rather that those who have found it right for them have found something very good indeed.

Interrogate each of the arguments against CNM (the high rates of infidelity and divorce in monogamous couples; the research demonstrating a wide-ranging social community leads to greater happiness and a longer life; the fact that a collective approach to child-rearing has historically been the primary model of family-building) and it begins to seem as if a fear-based moralizing is at the heart of why those committed to the current model of monogamy are so bewildered by or opposed to poly relationships. But if “love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love” — why not be greedy for more of it? After all, no one can reasonably argue that having more than one friend diminishes the love you’re capable of giving each. Why can’t the same be applied to relationships?

The truth is, partnership is tenuous, and the current prevailing model was constructed only after thousands of years of different examples, most completely unrelated to a modern understanding of Western marriage, and which for a long time excluded interracial and queer couples. My in-laws, together over 45 years, were brought together by their families in an arranged marriage, and their version of partnership, love and happiness is very different than my own. They have raised two children and still hold hands when walking over uneven terrain; who’s to say their love is less than mine or yours? Who’s to say that any love isn’t worthy of awe?

When my now-husband and I were in our early days, I told him I’d been cheated on in the past and that infidelity was, for me, a deal-breaker. While I have no desire to bring non-monogamy into our marriage as it is now (after 5+ years of online dating, I want only one man, one contractually obligated to listen to my weird dreams), I want, above all else, a marriage that thrives on honesty. And to me, being honest requires acknowledging the very real possibility that at some point in our (hopefully long) life together, one of us will want something that the other person can’t give. When that happens, I told him, I want there to be a window, not a door: a space through which we can look, together, at another shape our relationship could assume. Accepting that possibility means being excited about, and not threatened by, the mutability of love, its expansiveness and strength.

Illustrations by Cynthia Merhej.