#i will beat you with a metal bat

[navree]

ok if you know me you shouldn’t be surprised to know that i really don’t like bridgerton (i know, shocking, a history buff and writer who openly despises bunk theories and shoddy worldbuilding doesn’t like the show predicated on a bunk theory followed by shoddy worldbuilding, stop the presses), but i have watched it, mostly for background noise, but watched it nonetheless, and i think i finally figured out what irks me not just around season 2 of the dumb show but also the fandom response and reactions to the dumb show. 

the show, to my understanding, said prior to the season 2 release that they were treating the story between anthony and the sharma sisters as more of a love triangle (which made a lot of fans mad because edwina’s supposed to be one of those characters who exists solely to cheerlead a different character even if it’s at their own expense which is just the worst kind of character), and so fandom is reacting accordingly by treating this as if it were a “team edwina” and “team kate” situation that you see in other tv show love triangles and the like. but here’s the thing. a love triangle, as understood in most media, is that characters a and b like character c, who likes both of them and is torn for a while before realizing that they like character a/b more and thus ends the love triangle. 

except that’s not what season 2 of bridgerton was. it’s not that anthony likes both kate and edwina but ends up choosing edwina for a bit before finally realizing his true feelings lie with kate. anthony doesn’t like edwina at all. i’m fairly convinced that he couldn’t differentiate edwina from eve. anthony shows no care or concern for her at all not even as a love interest, but barely as a person, and has no regard for her personal feelings or wants or objectives or desires or literally anything about her. i’d be genuinely surprised to learn that he’s ever felt anything for her beyond the standard feelings we have towards humanity as a whole in knowing better than to do shit like punch randos on the street. this isn’t necessarily a solely anthony problem, the narrative appears to treat edwina exactly the same way which is bad writing because yes, she’s not one of the Main characters of the season, anthony and kate are, but she’s still a major player nonetheless. nor is this necessarily me writing anthony off, there’s a reason for his asshattery that’s been well established both by backstory and by the canon of the show itself back in season 1. the issue for me is that it doesn’t seem that anyone realizes that this is why anthony and kate were in the wrong with the marriage thing. 

edwina got a lot of flack from the fandom for being upset at kate and anthony about the whole wedding fiasco, and for holding a grudge for a while afterwards, and a good chunk of that seems to come from that old gripe i mentioned earlier about how edwina wasn’t following her book characterization of being kanthony’s number one cheerleader. but a lot of it is that i genuinely don’t think people understand what the issue is here. yeah, anthony deciding to marry edwina for shallow reasons even tho he knew she wanted a happy love match, while also being into her sister is bad, and kate knowing all of this and still deceiving edwina is also bad. but the core “this is a fucked up thing to do” element in her anger at kate is that kate is very aware of the fact that anthony literally just does not care for or about edwina in any capacity whatsoever beyond what he would care for, like, a lady passing on the street, and she was still willing to lie to edwina and let her enter into a marriage with someone like that, not only not giving edwina the full information to make her own informed consent about whether she wants to be in this marriage, but also just letting her walk into a situation like that knowingly. like, imagine how psychologically damaging it must be to be married, shackled for life, to someone who probably wouldn’t even remember your last name if it wasn’t the same name as the lady he was actually into. that’s a very valid reason for edwina to be mad at the two of them, especially in being mad at kate, considering that a guy screwing you over is one thing, but a close sister doing the same is a whole other level. and if edwina lashes out because that’s a fucked up thing to do, even for the “right reasons”, honestly that’s fair and valid. i love my sister to death but if she was egging on a marriage between me and someone whose only concern about whether i lived or died would be how it affected my sister, i’d be pissed for a really long time. 

(and no i’m sorry the “kate was doing it for edwina’s sake like she does everything” doesn’t really fly, you can’t pull the “i do everything for everyone can’t i do this one thing just for me” excuse out when the person you’re “doing everything for” a) never asked you to do it b) never had any expectation for you to do it and c) would have been perfectly content and likely even happier if you hadn’t done. kate’s reasoning is something that needs to get brought up with mary and with idk her regency era version of a therapist, not edwina. that’s not edwina’s responsibility, because most of us generally learn the concept of having to handle our emotions and that how we react to things is on us alone by age ten generally.) 

and the worst thing about it is that it’s never resolved. edwina is justifiably angry at the people who hurt her, the fandom’s mad because it’s viewing the situation through a love triangle lens and not the “two people who refuse to admit they wanna fuck and also the poor innocent who got dragged into and very nearly got screwed over as a result” and also because edwina’s being Mean to the primary couple and isn’t hopping up and done in ultimate ship mode for them. and then kate hits her head and that’s it, the justifiable anger is over and done with. i don’t think that edwina should have still been holding a grudge while her sister was dealing with a serious head injury that could have killed her, but that shouldn’t have been the end of the situation. none of edwina’s concerns got addressed or even understood, it’s just that the narrative wanted us to view it as edwina being unreasonable and coming to see the light and the glory of kanthony after nearly losing kate, which makes no sense. as mentioned, edwina’s anger is justifiable, because when you actually look at what happened and not the “love triangle” angle, it is an entirely reasonable anger. that edwina was willing to put it aside when kate was in trouble, because she loves her sister and obviously doesn’t want her dead and is relieved that she’s okay, that works. edwina being immediately over it does not work; her grievances aren’t addressed and it doesn’t seem like the narrative, let alone the characters themselves, understand why she was upset, and thus any reconciliations ring hollow. i mean hell, she doesn’t even get a scene where anthony, like, openly admits that this whole situation was a dick move on his part and sincerely apologize for his behavior and what he put her through, which really only cements how little, if at all, anthony cared about her in any way. 

edwina should have been allowed to take her time on forgiveness, and the way that she and kate especially built back trust and rapport should have been vitally important and deep character work, not just for edwina herself and the satisfaction of her arc, but also for kate and for her own development. but instead, edwina’s over it, she’s the cheerleader at long, and she gets dangled the possibility of a consolation prize as her reward for no longer being upset at her fiancé for being an ass and at her sister for violating her trust and nearly putting her a deeply unhappy situation for the remainder of her natural life. it’s bad writing to the extreme and it also makes kanthony both as a ship and as individual people seem like jerks and the total misread of the situation and the hate edwina got for her reaction just makes the fandom seem borderline illiterate. 

anyway this is rambly and not very eloquent and likely riddled with spelling errors but i woke up at 5am and made myself mad about this while getting ready for the day so this is my two cents on a specific element i hate about the dumb bridgerton show and its dumb ways.

[killing-machine]

happy madness day you freaks

remember to do what comes natural

[tenderlambkin]

*squints*

and they both bleached their hair too

[tom-0]

why do you beat everything/everyone with metal bats. this is an intervention.

when something makes me feel joyful or it’s funny to me i will beat them with a bat. Nobody can stop me…

this is my bat

[unlikecharlie]

I hate the non-argument of "it's just ragebait" as if that is supposed to placate me?? As if that absolves the statement or action of its inherently morally reprehensible nature?? As if it's still not batshit insane or so far removed from reality and reason it might as well be a fairy tale??

[beesvines]

Deleting 10 year old me’s animal crossing new leaf save file my sophomore year of high school was like burning the library of Alexandria

[muchmossymess]

I need to stop sleeping all day its giving me wild as fuck dreams

[canine-teethed-sheets]

*me looking desperately for crumbs on the ground* uh huh...... uh huh...... aH HAH!!

low quality Faiyaato <3

[doctorjohcoy]

i cant comment on like posts on subreds where its like 'my husband/boyfriend/boytoy is doing this and that' because my answer is always ohh. kill him

[martyrbat]

having muscle spasms and chronic pain is funny sometimes because it's just my body saying actually fuck you personally and im just ((: welp okie. fuck me i guess

[solrin]

Original is Kiss Day by ぴよ吉

[trashyp]

I think the funniest thing about Majora’s Mask is that it really presents itself as a challenge, like having to do things at really specific times and such— and it is, it’s incredibly difficult when you don’t have a guide or know what you’re doing, but the final boss takes about ten seconds if you do all the work.

Iydk if you collect all the masks, you get the Fierce Deity mask, which allows you to absolutely fold the final boss like a piece of paper

Source: I’ve beaten Majora’s mask like five times and this is the case every single time

[aquaticmercy]

Hot Chocolate?

Summary: Bucky wakes up from a nightmare and can’t find you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her)

Warnings/tags : PTSD, nightmares, panic. very slight cursing. hurt/comfort. Very much an angsty fic.

Requested by : myself again 

Word count : 1.4k

Note : As someone who has struggled with sleep disorders, writing this helped me reach a strange catharsis. Since today is World Mental Health day, please check up on your friends, my loves! Oh and I am still accepting requests, I just have enough prompts for the rest of this week and will be replying to your asks at the start of next week! Also, do Americans use electric kettles? Sincerely, someone who lives in England.

Requests are open!

○ buy me a ko-fi ○

Bucky shot awake. He shuddered, trying to bat away the lingering visions of his nightmare that clung to him like a drenched blanket.

He found his lungs grasping for air with panic gasps as his eyes darted around the bedroom. The shadows casted by the starlight filtered through the curtains took shapes that made his heart race. For a split second, he thought he wasn’t in his apartment anymore. He was back in the Siberian Hydra lab, cold metal restraints nipping into his skin. He heard his handler’s voice speaking Russian, echoing the room with his old trigger words.

He forced himself out of this terrified state, grounding himself in reality. His chest was heaving, his eyes were bleary. Instinctively, his hand reached for the space next to him. 

It was empty.

You weren’t there.

A wave of panic crashed over him, and this was far more constricting than the terror of his nightmares. His heart started pounding more violently in his chest. His fingers grazed the sheets where you should have been. You had at least been gone long enough for the pillows to grow cold.

He could feel his pulse in his veins, each beat hammering the insides of his skull. His mind spiralled uncontrollably, thoughts feeding off the remains of the nightmare and twisting them into something much worse.

Had you left him? 

What did he do? 

Had he driven you away?

Was this it?

Bucky hastily threw off the covers, sprawling it all on your bedroom floor. He stumbled out of bed, mind clouded with fear and panic. The apartment was eerily quiet— too quiet for him to handle on his own. Too quiet for his overwhelmingly loud thoughts.

He waded through the hall as if he was four feet deep in muddy waters, his bare feet softly thudding against the floorboards. The faint sound of water boiling reached his ears. His breath hitched, his heart racing.

Emerging into the open space, his eyes darted around the dark living room, his gaze finally landing on the soft glow of the kitchen light.

He walked towards the kitchen.

There you were.

You were standing by the kitchen counter, a mug in one hand, the other resting on the kettle. You were so beautiful. So perfect, compared to him.

You looked lost in thought, your posture relaxed. It was a stark contrast to the storm raging inside him, though you were unaware.

Bucky’s feet stayed where he was for a moment, as if ice had frozen over him. Relief washed over him so fast that it nearly knocked all the air out of his lungs. 

You were here. You hadn’t left. 

The relief was quickly replaced by the gnawing ache of guilt, the kind that made his chest feel tight and his head swim feel like it was underwater. He’d thought you were gone, and the mere thought of it had sent him into a spiralling depth. How pathetic.

He couldn’t help it. He constantly felt like teetering on the edge of losing you. Like every day with you was borrowed time. Like he had already stayed his welcome. Like he wasn’t worthy of holding you in his arms.

Perhaps the reason he was so jaded sometimes, was that he was sure you’d wake up and realise he was too broken, too damaged. 

When he played this scenario in his head, you’d walk out the door, leaving him a shell of the man he is now. He thought about it more that he’d care to admit.

His heart was still pounding in his chest as he moved closer to you. His footsteps were slow and uncertain. Your eyes lifted to meet his stormy blue ones as he entered the kitchen, your brow furrowing in concern when you saw his pale, shaking face.

"Bucky?" your voice was soft, just barely above a whisper. 

He shivered a bit, unable to form words for just a second. The ache in his stomach and the ball in his throat made it impossible to speak. His eyes dropped to the floor, shame curling a painful knot in his core. 

“I woke up, and you weren’t there,” he finally muttered, struggling to get every word out, as if he was swallowing glass. “I thought…” He trailed off, the rest of the sentence too painful to say out loud. Instead, small sobs escaped his lips.

You set the mug down on the counter and closed the distance between the two. Your hand found his arm, your fingers warm against the cool vibranium. 

“Hey,” you said gently, willing your voice to be as soothing as can be, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just couldn’t sleep.”

Bucky’s gaze stayed fixed on nothingness. You could hear his jaw clicking nervously, like a man terrified for his life. 

“I thought you’d left,” he admitted in a cracked whisper, sounding as fragile as he felt. “Thought I’d… driven you away.”

Your heart broke at the pain in his voice. He sounded like a whimpering puppy, begging to be held.

He had such a raw, vulnerable nature that he tried his best to keep hidden all the damn time. You moved closer, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as he allowed you to. You needed him to know you were never letting him go.

At first, his body was frozen like a petrified statue— he wasn’t sure he deserved the comfort. But slowly, his muscles relaxed under your touch.

“I’m right here, darling,” You whispered. Your words were firm but gentle. “I’m always right here.”

He let out a shaky breath. His forehead dropped to rest against the top of your head, breathing on your scent— the scent that always brought him a sense of calm. “I don’t… I don’t know why I keep thinking you’ll leave.”

“I’m not.” You pulled back slightly to look up at him, your hands resting on his chest. “I’m not,” you repeated again, hoping that if you said it enough times, he’d finally believe it.

The sincerity of those two simple words made his throat tighten, his chest constricting under the weight of emotions he had always struggled to fully process. He had never ever wrapped his head around how you could stand here, looking at him—someone so broken and damaged—with such gentle desire. He had never believed he deserved it.

But he wanted to believe, to trust that maybe he wasn’t as alone as he always feared. That maybe, just maybe, you weren’t going to leave him behind like he feared you would.

The faint shimmer of tears fractured the soft kitchen light. He was at a loss of words at how you were holding him together, when he couldn't even do it for himself.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I keep putting you through this.”

Your hand found his, fingers intertwining with his. Your grip was warm, It was reassuring and steady. “Don’t be,” you said softly. You could tell that he had a nightmare. You learned the signs— the shaking, the sweating. The look of restlessness despite being asleep for the last several hours. “You just had a rough night.”

Bucky trembled against you, feeling him unravelling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. His breath was short and it came in shaky bursts. Tears streamed down his cheeks, hot and heavy, soaking into your skin. They started quietly, a gentle release, but soon turned into shuddering sobs that echoed against the kitchen counter, the walls, the floors.

His grip tightened, fingers twirling into the fabric of your shirt as if you were his anchor in this reality. Each sob was raw, steeped in guilt and in the fear of losing you.

No matter how vulnerable he felt, he knew that in your embrace, there was no judgement. You held him tighter, whispering soft reassurances and sweet nothings— promises that you’d stay with him forever and ever. Until the end of time. Until your heart gave out.

“Do you want hot chocolate, too?” you asked softly.

For the first time in what felt like forever, he let out a small laugh, your words a shocking catharsis, bringing him out of the spiral. 

Oh, you always knew how to say the right thing at the right time.

He nodded, squeezing your hand one more time, just to reassure himself that you were real, that you weren’t slipping away.

You smiled gently at his quiet laugh, slightly reaching out to turn the electric kettle back on again without letting your grip on him falter.

As the kettle hummed in the background, Bucky held you close, finally convincing himself that no matter how dark the nightmares were, you would always be there when he woke up.

-end

[supershot73199]

Dpxdc demon siblings au prompt

So standard demon twin/sibling setup where after dying for dissapointing Ras Danny is thrown into the pit where he doesn't surface. Damian mourns his brother but never tells the bat's at first because it's to painful but then because he doesn't want to cause his family pain with the knowledge that they have a brother/son/grandson respectively. (I personally like Danny being the older one in this whether it's just the first born twin or he's a couple years older is up to you all)

The rest under a read more.

So we cut to an older Damian as Robin and the batfam are fighting a exiled member of the League of assassins who wants revenge on something Ras did and decide that they will hurt Damian to hurt Ras.

So this exile uses a magical ritual to summon the ghosts of every assassin Ras turned on and killed (its a lot of them) so the bat's are not able to stop the ritual in time because they couldn't get a skilled enough magic user to Gotham in time (is there some other threat? Just out of contact? Performing at little Jimmy's birthday party? Who knows.)

So the bat's are getting what anti ghost gear they can (nth metal weapons magic doodads whatever) when the last and most powerful ghost is pulled through. Damian freezes because he knows that face, he's older and he has an unnatural glow, but Damian will never forget his brother.

The exile is laughing taunting the Bats about the dead son come for revenge on his brother who betrayed him Damian is emotionally distraught crying, apologizing, telling his brother that they tried to bring him back but the pit took him from them.

The other bat's are freaking out in their own way because holy shit this is true?! Meanwhile Danny is staring silently at Damian face completely blank. While the feral ghosts of the assassins are trying to break out of the summoning circle.

One ghost manages to find a crack from where it was weakening from the thousands of ghosts trying to break it and rushes to attack Damian who is too distracted and too far from the others to react. He throws himself back scrambling for his sword as the assassins lunges forward to rip his heart out with his bare hands.

Yet as is seems he's about to meet his doom the assassin jerks to a stop before his momentum is reversed and he's thrown back into the circle. Everything is silent because the one who saved Damian was his own brother who was not even slowed by the magical protection (because he's half ghost not that anyone knows this but him)

The insane assassin starts going on about clearly his betrayed brother has decided that only he is worthy of striking down the heir to the demon. Except as he's mid monolog a ice knife is thrown into his leg missing all the arteries but causing a lot of pain. Then Danny speaks.

"I never blamed you little brother. Now dry those tears and Al-Ghul never shows weakness to an enemy."

As he says this for the first time since he's summoned Danny no longer has that blank face instead he has the most affection filled smile you can imagine while he wipes his brothers tears before he turns to the massive swarm of ghosts.

"Any who would seek to hurt my brother must first go through me, The Phantom, Pariah's bane, keeper of Balance and guardian of the mortal realms, but if you think you can take me by all means just do me a favor, let some other poor sap try first."

Now if the ghosts heed his warning or not is up to you if they do then Danny just opens a portal to the ghost zone for them to flee into, if not then he proceeds to beat the unliving shit out of them before tossing them through a portal anyway.

After everything is said and done Danny goes over to Damian talking about how proud he is to see him growing into such a good person and how it's so wonderful to see him again after all these years. Just really heartwarming stuff there's hugs Dick is crying into Jason's shoulder everything.

Then Danny says it's time for him to go he can't stay forever. Damian is upset saying he can't lose him right after he gets him back. Danny then laughs and says..

"This isn't a goodbye Damian it's just a see you later, I promise we'll see each other again before you know it."

And the batfamily are all crying thinking this is him saying that he'll be waiting in the after life for Damian. Before he goes through the portal closing it behind him

The bat's all handle the clean up and police for the crime scene before returning to the manor and getting explanations from Damian.

After all that the family come together to make a shrine to their departed brother with Damian being the last one to walk away to get some sleep.

The next morning everyone feels lighter with this secret no longer between them as they chat and laugh as they get ready for breakfast.

As they are all sat together ready to eat one of Damians siblings asks if there are any pleasant memories about Danyal Damian wants to share and Damain decides to tell a carefully edited version of one of their escapades (conveniently leaving out that he was responsible for the situation in the first place) only right as he finishes a voice chimes in.

"That's not how I remember it little brother." And standing there leaning against a wall is Danny himself.

[emacrow]

When Danny's core cracks while escaping into gothams, he doesn't disappeared or dies, but accidentally split his personalities

He accidentally multiples into tiny misshaped pieces of his own personalities that became tiny lil baby ghostlings the size of a toddler.

Which they all scattered and ran, spreading around gotham like they were running from the devil(GIW) themselves were after him.

While main piece human formed danny with barely his conscious left is stuck with the only piece of his core as his main personality.

The feral back off if you love your fingers and I will beat you into the grave while i spew comback puns at you personality.

Not even 7 minutes in gotham, he already attacked 39 strange strangers, fourteen people in clown masked, torn some messed up rejected clown apart, a guy in a green suit and ? Staff, ate some buffguy ectoplasmic injectors tanks, only to now being held by the scuff of his itsy bitsy white and red nasa shirt by a bat furry man in black, who had several bite marks dents all over his suit, arms and torn on his cape while he still biting the bat shaped metal thingy. .

Meanwhile near crime alley, red hood had found 3 tiny white haired toddlers, one even more paranoid then tim if possible, one clingy onto him saying I love you, and another one follow around crying a lot calling out for someone named jazz..?

Sequel here <-

[heartfullofleeches]

Timid Reader: Gah!!!!! It's on the kitchen table! Aspen!....Get it, Aspen!

[Femboy Housewife Yan brushes the spider onto a newspaper and carries it to a window, ushering the small creature outside]

Femboy Housewife Yan: It's gone, dearest. Out of sight. Out of mind.

Timid Reader: T-thank you.... [starts to tear up] What have I become.... I'm a coward compared to how I was when we first met...

Femboy Housewife Yan: Darling! Don't beat yourself up like that. I love the shy you as much as the old you. Besides, we both know that wasn't the real you back then. Just like me.

Timid Reader: Yeah... You're right....

-

[Femboy Assassin Yan hisses as he's harshly yanked by his hair - hands bound behind his back]

Femboy Assassin Yan: Where are they? [spits out blood] If you hurt them I swear I'll-

Kidnapper: Relax. Your little pet ran into the basement when I broke in. I'll deal with them after I'm done with you....

Femboy Assassin Yan: Basement?.....

[The Basement door creaks open - Reader rushing out with a dented metal bat they batter against the intruder's skull]

Former Gang Leader Reader: You come into my house. [whack!] Attack my wife. [bang!] Force me to resort to violence. [crack!] I just want a normal life! Why can't you just leave us alone!

[Reader pants as they drop the blood and brain matter covered weapon - fat tears pouring down their cheeks as they untie their spouse]

Timid Reader: I-I'm so sorry you had to see that, Aspen. I knew it was too dangerous for me to get married.... Are you okay?

Femboy Housewife Yan - a dreamy smile plastered on his face: Just fine~ Heavens, that was better than sex, Darling... Though, you may need to carry me up to our bedroom now so I know for sure-