#want to beat myself with a metal bat

[beesvines]

Deleting 10 year old me’s animal crossing new leaf save file my sophomore year of high school was like burning the library of Alexandria

[thefrogman]

Froggie's Mailbox Adventures

I have been wanting to tell this story for a while now. This all happened right before my birthday and then I got sick for 4 weeks and didn't have the energy to talk about it.

So let us take a trip into the recent past to hear a tale of woe and triumph with a bunch of extra woe interspersed throughout.

It all began on the 4th of July.

Some neighborhood rascals ruined my old mailbox with a baseball bat.

They also destroyed my brand new mailbox sensor that lets me know when there is mail so I don't have to make multiple trips to check.

(Ring replaced it for free, so that was nice.)

Originally, I was going to hire someone to replace the mailbox. But I was not having much luck finding someone who could do that specific task. (I've been having trouble finding help in general due to living in a supposedly "dangerous" area.)

So I decided to try and install the mailbox myself. And I had no idea how much of an adventure that was going to be...

My first step was tearing off the old one to see how it was mounted.

I got some paper and a sharpie and noted where the holes were. And, of course, they didn't line up with the new mailbox.

Which is a really nice mailbox. I mean, it is solid. Check this bad boy out and please don't notice the dirty clothes lying on the floor in the background.

It is always so tempting to save a few bucks and get the cheaper thing, but I am so glad I splurged on this. It looks nice. It functions well. It has magnets. And I don't think it can be baseball-batted without some instant karmic retribution from Newton's third law.

My next step was to get a new mounting plate. And even though I try not to go to Home Depot because it is run by a bunch of conservative religious bigots... I went to Home Depot.

I was a little nervous about leaving the house at the time because I was still struggling with my heart issue (which I think is mostly resolved now). I was trying to be very careful about how much I exerted myself. I really didn't want to have an episode while I was out and about.

After searching for a while I discovered they had a mounting plate and a pressure-treated mounting board. I could do wood or metal. And they were located on completely opposite ends of the store because of course they were.

I had both items in my hand and I did that thing where you just keep staring at something hoping a useful thought will pop into your brain. I had no clue which one was better for my needs. There is surprisingly little information regarding mailbox installation on the internet. YouTube really let me down on this one. I was just kinda winging it and solving problems as I went along.

I stared for for a little while longer and no useful thoughts happened.

I was tired of staring so I just said, "Fuck it" and made an executive decision.

Then I almost passed out in Home Depot.

I spent too much time walking around that gigantic monstrosity of a store and my heart started beating super fast and my legs felt like jello and I started getting quite dizzy.

I was in rough shape.

So... I had a little lie-down next to a wall of tape measures.

I just stared up at them thinking about all of the things I could measure.

I could measure a dog.

Or a horsie.

Or a horsie the size of a dog.

Then I thought, "Ooh, that one has lasers! I NEED IT."

My brain was not functioning at 100% in that moment.

After about 10 minutes of thinking about lasers and things I could measure with lasers, my body seemed to reboot and I was able to get up. Thankfully no one saw me and thought there was a dead body in the aisle or something. But that was still embarrassing all the same.

Once my heart slowed down I was able to pay and make it out to the car. I headed home and saw one of the most unusual sunsets of my life. The sun was dim and a shade of orange I have never seen in nature. It was like, cheeto orange. Not only that, it was a perfect circle with a super crisp outline. It didn't look real.

I tried to get a picture of it but when I looked at the picture later, the camera didn't capture anything like what I saw.

This is the best approximation I can manage. But it still doesn't do it justice.

I was hoping I could get home in time to grab my real camera and capture this strange setting sun, but it dipped below the horizon just as I pulled into my driveway.

I then started problem solving how to get the new mailbox in place with the items I purchased. And I was on a deadline because I have no clue what happens when the mailperson arrives and they don't have a mailbox to put the mail in. Do they just throw it on the ground? Do they get to keep the mail? Are they going to use all of my grocery coupons?

And for some reason, my post office does not keep a consistent delivery schedule. I've been trying to figure out a pattern for weeks and they just seem to come "whenever" and that is about as close as I can pin it down. Which is why I got the mailbox sensor.

Due to my near fainting episode in Home Depot, I was in no shape to be handy, so I was trying to think of a temporary solution to put the new mailbox on without properly mounting it. At first I was going to just wrap it in packing tape a bunch of times. But then I noticed I had a bunch of string. And I decided that was a more interesting solution... for reasons? My brain was still not doing well. But when I tried to tie the new mailbox to the post with the string it failed miserably. And I realized the packing tape wouldn't work either. The mailbox did not sit flat on the post and it wiggled. However, because I tried the dumb string method, I discovered this wiggle issue and it actually helped me figure out how to mount it.

I gave up for the night and decided to hope I could install the box in the morning before "whenever" happened. The next morning I started drawing dots on boards and comparing my old holes to my new holes and measuring clearances. (Measuring without lasers like a chump.) I needed to elevate the mailbox in order to mount it and that's when I thought to combine the board and the plate. I could screw the board into the old holes and then create new holes in the board for the plate to attach. And the plate lined up with the holes in the bottom of the new mailbox.

EASY!

It was a pretty big brain moment for me and I felt like I just solved quantum physics or something.

You're probably pretty confused because you are not as smart as I am.

Here is a diagram to help.

The board mounts to the post arm. The plate screws into the board. The mailbox screws into the plate.

Or just use string.

Also, how fortunate was it that I stared for all that time and got frustrated and just bought both things?

My next problem was that my drill wouldn't fit inside the mailbox and I couldn't screw the screws in place. So I drilled pilot holes in the board so I could manually screw in the screws with a ratcheting right angle screwdriver.

And the only reason I had one of those is because I use it as a fidget toy. (I like the clicky sounds.)

Another lucky happenstance!

I tried to prepare as much as I could in my garage before dragging all of my tools to the end of my lengthy driveway. I brought along my dad's old rolling walker so I'd have something to transport everything.

But also so I'd have something to sit on while I was installing the new box. Then I wouldn't have another heart episode and need another lie-down.

Seriously, how big is my brain?

I am like the smartest person alive.

So I got to the end of the driveway with all of my tools and my board and my plate and my templates and I realized something was missing.

The new mailbox.

I am like the dumbest person alive.

After a quick back-and-forth to retrieve the mailbox, I got started on my master mounting plan.

I screwed the board onto the post arm.

Then I screwed the plate into the board.

Then I lined up the new mailbox onto the plate.

But as I was doing this, I was kinda sticking out into the street a little bit. And usually that isn't a big deal. Cars can see me from very far away and they were just steering around me. But then two cars came from opposite directions at the same time and I was in a precarious position where I could not move. One car steered wide to avoid me, and for some reason, the other car decided not to slow down but to drive off the edge of the street.

And as they pulled this maneuver I heard a loud thump, followed by a loud pop, and then the sound of hissing getting farther and farther away.

Like a snake version of the Doppler effect.

They drove directly into this and popped their tire.

On the one hand, I felt a little responsible and guilty. On the other, it is not my responsibility to fix the street. And on a third hand, that was silly driving behavior and perhaps they will see this as a learning moment.

After processing what just happened I got back to the task at hand. To my delight and surprise, all of my planning and problem-solving was working. Everything fit together perfectly. The right angle ratcheting screwdriver was screwing in the screws. And after I tightened the final one...

I had successfully installed a new mailbox, on my own, without any jankiness or tape or string.

Like, I did this legit proper.

Tons of pure endorphins rushed into wherever endorphins go. (Again, I am very smart.) That feeling of accomplishment was pure ecstasy. I had no idea how to do this and in less than 24 hours I was basically an expert mailbox installer. I took some shots of my work on my phone so I could brag to Katrina, packed up all of my tools, and began to walk back to the house.

And... my heart started beating fast again.

And... I needed to have another little lie-down in the grass next to my driveway.

I stared up at the sky and was frustrated and proud simultaneously. A weird mixture of emotions. At the time I didn't know if my heart could be fixed. But thankfully I had my sense of accomplishment to temper my heart sadness.

And then I thought, "I should get a new address sign."

Epilogue time!

I got on Amazon and started looking up new signs. And I found one that was solar powered and lit up at night. So clearly I needed to have that one. My midnight food delivery people will never struggle to find my house again!

And it actually looked pretty neat.

(My address is not actually four 0s, but you are free to try sending me something.)

The sign was very easy to read... if you were super duper close.

But if you were farther away...

You couldn't actually distinguish the numbers. And it kinda looked weird next to the mailbox. And headlights made the numbers even harder to see. Which was the opposite of what I was going for.

So I opted to get a more traditional sign.

(Please send items to the realm of nothingness. I am in the void.)

But this bugged me because the sign was a different size than the old sign and the connection points didn't line up perfectly.

I HAD A CATAWAMPUS CHAIN!

WHICH IS THE MOST UNACCEPTABLE KIND OF WAMPUS!

It was at this point that Katrina started making fun of my perfectionism.

But this wasn't perfectionism for perfection's sake.

My Dad was having trouble fixing things around the house. And some other kids knocked over the previous, previous mailbox. And he found the strength to go to the store, get a new one, and install it all by himself. He was at the end of the driveway, attached to his portable oxygen canisters, and fixing one last thing for this house.

And I guess I just wanted to get it back to perfect. Because he never did any handyman task half-assed. He was a full-ass handyman. Always.

So... I fixed the sign.

Perfectly balanced.

Again, feel free to send me stuff to 0000 Road.

I'm sure it will get here... "whenever."

[troyo-boyo]

Midnight Snack Adventures (KK Arnold x Reader)

Summary: A quiet night in the dorm takes an unexpected turn when KK’s midnight snack mission turns chaotic.

Wordcount:1k

The dorm room was quiet, the kind of quiet that settles deep and feels like a blanket. I lay in bed, wrapped in KK’s arms, her warmth lulling me to sleep. The faint hum of the heater filled the room, but it was otherwise silent. The moonlight filtered through the blinds, casting soft stripes across the walls.

KK shifted slightly, her breath even and steady against my neck. For a moment, I let myself savor the calm. It wasn’t every day we got to enjoy moments like these, away from the demands of classes, practices, and everything else. Sharing her dorm with Paige made privacy a bit of a luxury, but tonight, the stars had aligned.

Or so I thought.

A muffled thud jolted me awake. I blinked in the darkness, trying to place the sound. Another faint noise followed, this time a metallic clink. I turned over to find KK’s side of the bed empty, the blanket rumpled and cold.

“KK?” I whispered, sitting up. No response.

I swung my legs off the bed, my feet touching the cool wooden floor. Another sound, a muffled yelp this time came from the kitchen. My heart skipped a beat. What was going on?

I padded toward the door, squinting into the dim hallway. The dorm was pitch black, save for the faint glow of the streetlights outside. A crash echoed from the kitchen, followed by a hissed curse.

“KK,” I muttered under my breath. What was she doing?

I stepped into the hallway, the faint chill of the night air creeping through the cracks. As I approached the kitchen, another figure suddenly appeared in the shadows. My heart leapt into my throat.

It was Paige, clutching a baseball bat, her posture tense and ready. Her eyes darted toward the kitchen, then back to me.

“Stay back,” she whispered urgently, her grip tightening on the bat. “I think there’s an intruder.”

“Paige, wait—” I started, but she was already moving. I followed her as she crept toward the kitchen, her movements cautious yet determined.

The sound of a drawer slamming shut came from the kitchen. Paige’s shoulders tensed, and she raised the bat.

“Whoever you are, you better get out before I—”

She never got to finish her sentence. I stepped into the kitchen just as KK emerged from behind the counter, holding a bag of chips in one hand and a bottle of soda in the other. Her wide eyes met Paige’s, and she froze like a deer in headlights.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” KK exclaimed, dropping the bag of chips and raising her hands. “It’s just me!”

Paige lowered the bat slightly but didn’t relax. “What the hell are you doing creeping around in the dark?”

“I didn’t want to wake anyone,” KK said defensively, still keeping her hands up. “I just wanted a snack.”

“You didn’t want to wake anyone, but you’ve been banging around like a one-woman demolition crew,” Paige snapped, finally lowering the bat completely.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “Okay, everyone just calm down. KK, maybe next time you could turn on a light?”

KK’s sheepish expression made me chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, okay. My bad.”

Paige rolled her eyes, muttering something about “athletes and their midnight cravings” before heading back to her room. KK looked at me, her face a mix of guilt and embarrassment.

“Sorry I woke you,” she said, her voice soft.

I shook my head, stepping closer. “It’s okay. But seriously, what were you thinking?”

She shrugged, setting the soda bottle on the counter. “I was hungry, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Well, you’ve definitely kept things interesting tonight.”

She grinned, her earlier embarrassment melting away. “That’s me, always keeping you on your toes.”

We cleaned up the mess together, stifling our laughter to avoid waking Paige again. Once the kitchen was back in order, we returned to the bedroom. KK climbed back into bed, pulling me close.

“Thanks for not letting Paige knock me out,” she whispered, her lips brushing against my temple.

I laughed softly. “You’re welcome. But next time, just turn on the light.”

She nodded, her arms tightening around me. “Deal.”

As I drifted off to sleep again, I couldn’t help but think about how life with KK was never dull. Even in the quietest moments, she had a way of making everything feel like an adventure. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The next morning, the sunlight streaming through the blinds woke me. KK was already awake, her phone in hand as she scrolled through social media. She noticed me stirring and smiled.

“Morning,” she said softly, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

“Morning,” I replied, my voice still groggy. “Sleep okay after last night’s excitement?”

She chuckled. “Yeah, once my heart rate settled. Paige, on the other hand, might still be mad.”

I laughed, stretching lazily. “She’ll get over it. She’s used to your antics by now.”

KK pouted playfully. “My antics? That was a one-time thing.”

“Sure it was,” I teased, sitting up. “Let’s just hope she doesn’t bring the bat to breakfast.”

We both laughed, the sound filling the small room. It was moments like these that made everything worth it. No matter what chaos life threw our way, we always found a way to laugh through it together.

As we got ready for the day, KK’s lightheartedness was infectious. She danced around the room, singing off-key to a song stuck in her head. I couldn’t help but join in, our laughter echoing through the dorm.

When we finally emerged from the room, Paige was in the kitchen, sipping her coffee and eyeing us suspiciously. She raised an eyebrow but said nothing, clearly still recovering from the night’s events.

“Morning, Paige,” KK said cheerfully, grabbing a piece of toast from the counter.

Paige’s eyes narrowed. “Morning. Try not to scare me half to death again, okay?”

“No promises,” KK replied with a grin, earning an exasperated sigh from Paige.

I shook my head, hiding a smile as I poured myself a cup of coffee. Life with KK might be unpredictable, but it was never boring. And as Paige muttered something about “midnight snack disasters,” I realized that even the chaos had its charm.

[vampworks]

Satisfaction

Loki x Vampire! Reader

MINORS DNI

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Blood, Vampirism, Smut, language, angst

A/n: the first bit of spice I've written and omg I don't know how to feel about it. Anyway, vampires ima right?

Stalking the halls of the tower, I never felt so lonely until now. The thirst has all but consumed my nights. Sleep had long since been completely off the table as the hunger set in, leaving me with a pair of red eyes and a screaming pit in my core, slowly haunting the same rooms I used to run through with a smile.

Today’s failed mission flashes through my head as I pass the kitchen. Creeping into cabinets and the fridge as I remember the sheer joy ripped away from me as my “meal” escaped. I slammed it shut and heard Steve lecture me on discipline on the jet all over again. It’s like he actually wants me to starve. After all of Bruce’s testing and the grueling rules, my insides seem to rip and tear within me. This was my chance to finally feel even remotely full. All of nothing.

I heard faint snores, hushed voices, and the clink and clang of metal in the lab beneath my feet. One sound rang louder than them all whether it was a blessing and a curse, the soft beat of their hearts. It brought me closer to them most nights. It reminded me that they were all okay.

I found myself silently counting the beats of Bucky's heart on the roof. It was grounding whenever I heard it. His very presence was grounding. He looked at me differently from the rest of the team like he actually understood me. I knew I’d be able to rest with him. The team was still uneasy around me because of my new 'condition' but not him. Im tempted to join him until the sound of a familiar, honeyed voice filled my ears.

"Hello, little bat." He whispered into my ear. "L..Loki," I sighed. He lets out a sly smirk as I shiver. “Out for a late-night snack?" He teased. I can hear his heartbeat slow as he pulls away, but it quickens again when my eyes meet his. “Listen, I won't play games with you tonight. I’m starving and all I can hear in this damn tower is blood rushing through my veins, so please let me just wander around in peace.” I placed my hand on his chest to push him away, but he held it there. His face is void of emotion, but his heart betrays him as it continues to beat rapidly. My eyes trace his sharp features down his face and fall onto his throat. The thought of sucking him dry crossed my mind. Maybe I could play his game this once.

“You’re more like me than you think.” His words brought me out of my trance. “What’s that supposed to mean.” I hissed, and his grip on my hand tightened. “It means, My pet. Neither you nor I will ever be satisfied going on like this.” He cooed. Loki’s other hand traces down my arm, only to rest on my waist. His breath grows heavy and desperate now matching the loud drum of his heart.

I want all of him now. I knew it was the hunger speaking, but I will deal with my own heart’s desires later. I could tell his heart was calling out. Begging for an embrace or at least a source of warmth. He might just be right, satisfaction always seemed just out of reach. A single eternal moment passed before I gained the strength to respond. “What do you suggest we do about that then?” my voice dripping with need as I speak. Loki’s façade of excellence was falling, but the remnants stood fast in his posture and grip on my waist.

Ever the royal gentleman, even in such desperation. He stumbles on his word for only a second before proposing an exchange of warmth. "Genius, is it not?” He stammered. I stifle a laugh “It’s brilliant, Watson.” I tease. His smile was sickeningly sweet, but his dark green eyes begged for something more. I held my breath as I pulled him into me by his collar. "Jump.” He commands. I obey and am pulled into his arms. His heart beats as if it’s a heavy drum threatening to burst through his chest. I waste no time laying kisses upon his lips and down to his throat. The sound that erupts from him is heavenly. “You are mine,” I whisper into his ear. A jolt runs through his body as he takes off into a sprint to his room with me in hand.

In a second, my back falls into his black satin sheets. He quickly crawls on top of me with his left hand, caresses my cheek, and shifts his weight onto his right hand. His knee ever so gently pushed on my inner thigh just to be closer. My own hands wrapped around his neck. My fingers tangle in his long, dark curls. I swear I hear the slightest whimper as my rings tug on a braid within them. Feverish kisses linger as if the next could not come fast enough. His lips, raw with a crimson tint, now begged for me to bite them. My fangs nip at his bottom lip as his left-hand gathers my shirt up my back. The taste isn’t nearly enough, as my senses are clouded by him.

All around me is him. His honeyed voice rings in my ear while his touch burns like fire, despite his skin feeling like ice. My mind fogs as I slip from his grasp and flip him on his back in a single swift motion. I take my seat on his lap, looking into his dark green once more. I find his eyes blown wide, staring back into my red ones as our chests chase our breath in tandem.

“Dammit, every inch of you is breathtaking.” He says in a hoarse tone as his hand takes the purchase of my waist once again. My smile widens and I grind down into him. “God, I say the same for you.” My eyes trail down to his chest as my hands slide up his arms to rest on his shoulders. “Let me be one with you… Please, my love.” He pleads. I can only nod as a whine escapes my throat. “Not quite. Use those pretty words of yours.” He commands, his hand now holding my chin up to meet his gaze. “Fuck...yes, please, I want you.” I pleaded. In a green flash, all the clothes that withhold my warmth from him are gone, leaving only the two of us in a world all our own. “Perfect little dove, all for me.”

Shadows wrapped around my aching body, soothing and teasing anywhere they could reach. They slowly lifted me onto the tip of his length. All that can be heard throughout the room is a string of curses and gasps for air from us both as he sets a ravenous pace beneath me. “Such a beautiful little thing you are, aren’t you.” He rasped. I feel his entire body tremble, and my eyes squeeze as I slam down on him repeatedly. “Good, just like that.” He praises. “Give in to me.” The two of us grew delirious in the thrill of it all as we grew closer to release. "Loki, please” I begin to beg. “Please let me taste you.” My words were barely sensical as my body ached for him. “Oh God Yes, I am yours to devour.” The shadows dissipate as I nuzzle in his chest, and his pace falters as my fangs graze and puncture his skin. I fed from him feverishly as he ruts into me, his grip on my waist is so tight leaving dark red marks in its wake. I moan in pure ecstasy at the taste and feeling.

Time stands still as we reach the very end. A flurry of moans and whimpers ring between us while satisfaction finally sets in. Tears began to fall from my eyes as the hole in my chest filled with warmth. After coming down from the high, Loki begins to unravel the two of us from the sheets. He lays me beside him, only for me to burrow into his chest once again. His arms wrapped around me, and he hummed sweet nothing into my hair.

After a moment, Loki began to lift me into the air. “While I love nothing more than to stay here with you forever, I fear we must shower, my dear.” I only respond with a muffled whine. “My apologies, my sweet. A bath, then? I fear no one is sleeping anymore anyway.”

[lcvekatsuki]

. . c h a p t e r 01 . . .

“struggling to find my way”

The bus ride was shakey and bumpy as it swayed across the city of Musutafu, Japan. My hands clung tightly to the metal bar that was above my head. I could hear the beats of my heart pumping through my ribs.

I was going to the best police department in the world, UAPD ( U.A police department) it would be an understatement if I said I was nervous. I looked out the window seeing the sun beaming against the city’s tall scrapers. People bustling around and walking trying to find their purpose.

I always had a thing of wanting to help people or maybe even save them? But there was always one person in your life, you can’t save.

My phone rang from out of my purse, picking it up I see the caller id.

Akio.

My brother who’s been on the run for two years and I helped him. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t say no, he was my . . . Brother. But now im stuck in a rabbit hole because of him.

I swiped answer on the phone and lifted the phone to my ear. “Akio you know you can’t call me on this phone, they’ll track you and they will find your location.” I whispered my face filled with disdain.

If anyone knew about this, I could go to jail and I would lose my opportunity to be a cop.

“Sis c’mon , they probably forgot about me. It’s been two years, and relax this is a burner phone.” He chuckled causing me to glare.

It confuses me how calm he could be in this situation , he is a run away criminal. I took a deep breath and looked at the phone. “Okay, okay, just stay safe and stay indoors. I’m going to pay your rent and send you the money next week, kay?” I questioned leaning my head back further into the seat.

Since he was a criminal , he was also flat out broke and couldn’t get a job because it would alert all the high end police. Posters with his face were everywhere , so I took it of myself to pay his rent and give him money.

Which meant I had to work triple jobs, and it barely covered my small apartment as well. Thats why I want to become a police officer, it pays well and im doing something I love.

Greedy I know.

“Got it baby sis, thanks a lot for everything . Love ya !” He chimed causing a tiny smile to form on my lips. Waving goodbye to him , I close the video chat call.

The bus made an abrupt stop and i knew was my stop. I could see the UAPD’s huge building in the distance. Sliding my phone in my purse I walk out the bus.

Clutching it tightly my sneakers kissed the concrete as I walked towards the large building. Remeber when I said it was huge , yeah it’s bigger than that.

I breathed in and out as I looked at the large sign ontop that said UA police department. Opening the glass doors, collecting eyes from people waiting in the building. I lifted my ID that hung around my neck, letting them know that I now work here.

Entering the elevator, I was about to press floor number 2 until a girl with pink frizzy Afro hair and beautiful brown carmel skin ran to it sliding in . (yes i imagine mina black when its quirkless , im sorry if you don’t . just imagine something else)

She huffed and breathed loudly with her hands on her knees. “H…h..hi im Ashido Mi…Mina.” She managed to say lifting her hand up.

I was hesitant but I lifted my hand up to hers giving it a firm shake. “L/n Y/n.” I firmly said as I glanced at the necklace that hanged around her neck , a detective badge.

Mina giggled as she saw where my eyes landed. “Sometimes I don’t even know how I landed the job.” She teased. “Also , are you new ? I never saw you around.”

I nodded my head softly, pressing my palms together as the elevator started to move. “I’m a rookie in training… this is um, my first day on the job.” I sighed as I was token surprised my Mina’s arm being wrapped around me.

She squealed as she held my so tight I felt like my circulation was cutting off. “You’re such a cutie Y/n ! Oh wait I can call you by your first name right?” She questioned as her big brown eyes looked at me , batting her long eyelashes.

Mina seemed very nice, at the academy I had 2 friends. But they weren’t like Mina, Asuka and Kyoko would always make nasty comments on how I didn’t deserve to be at the academy.

And they were right.

“Um , yeah you can. Can… I call you also by your first name?” I squeak out nervously, maybe I was misinterpreting everything maybe she didn’t want to be my friend-

My legs felt like they were being lifted off the floor as Mina picked me up and spun me around, causing me to let out a little snort.

“Ofcourse you can girl ! We’re deft going to be best friends.” She giggled as she put me down , the elevator dinged and the doors opened. We both walked into room 1-A , it was surprising that we were both in the same zone.

Mina then paused as she face palmed. “Oh shit , I forgot my phone downstairs I’ll be back Y/n.” She yelled already taking off.

I couldn’t help but giggle quietly as I opened the glass door , the room was almost full with some seats empty . there were different officers from different branches present in the room , I could see from their tags around their neck.

I pursed my lips as I walk toward the back , sitting in an empty chair that was two seats away from a guy with an electric bolt in his yellow hair . Murmuring was present but I ignored it , already used to it , I plugged my AirPods in my ear as I waited for everything to start .

A few minutes passed by an empty chairs soon to be filling up . a large figure with red pretty hair sat next to me , I would steal glances at him admiring his hair .

I wonder if it’s soft or not .

Our eyes caught each others and he was about to speak to me until a loud voice and looming figure was in front of me. “The fuck are you doing in my seat?” Bakugou hissed , his crimson eyes looked down at me like I was the most disgusting thing he ever saw .

And that’s when it clicked , it was THE sergeant Bakugou Katsuki . The prodigy of the police academy , everyone knew his name . His remarkable marks on every test , outstanding skills, am-

“Do you fucking hear me you deaf extra?” He spat in my face , his eyes were scrunched like he was threatening me . I looked around and saw everyone was staring at me , I swallowed hardly , and gathered my stuff with a trembling hand and quickly walked upfront .

I could fear a tear forming from my eyes and racing down my skin . Why am I crying ? Why can’t I stop ? I quickly wiped the tear away as I lowered my head .

Soon the room was packed and chairs were filled , a commanding figure with bags under his eyes and black messy long hair . I could already tell it was Commander Shota Aizawa. He was the one who hand-picked me to join UAPD.

“Settle down and listen up , we have fresh blood joining us today . ” he crossed his arms with a slight smirk as he looked at me .

“Introduce yourself , rookie . ”

[a1307s]

Take Me From You #3

(Jason Todd)

[Art is not mine! Credit to Naijarski]

Requested by: ynight14  and RavenMoore7799

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 2,814

Warnings and/or Pre-notes:

Gets a little heated at the end

———————————————————————

     I can hear the blood beating against the veins in my ears, drowning out the sound of Y/N and Bruce yelling at each other. The scene is almost funny. A hysterical Batman screams at Y/N to not kill as Y/N yells at him for being a murderer. A poor drug dealer sitting between the two screaming adults, confusion and fear on his face. I can feel the laughter brewing in my throat from the scene in front of me.

     Even with the mask covering a good chunk of her face, Y/N is as beautiful as she was the last time I saw her. Though she's more filled out than she was when we were fifteen, that only makes her prettier and is expected. She's not going to look the same as she did four years ago. Honestly, she could be in a flour bag, and I would still think she's the most perfect person in the room.

     Despite the funny scene in front of me, my heart races. I haven't seen her in years. I didn't even know if she was still in Gotham, let alone still in contact with Bruce. Given, it doesn't seem like good or willing contact, but it's still contact.

     Y/N's hair bounces around as she yells, making my fingers ache with the want to run them through it. The want to touch her, hold her, and hear her voice is overwhelming. Well, hear her talk to me in a normal tone at least, but I'm happy to hear her in any way, even if she is yelling. At Bruce, of all people.

     "I'm done. I'm done with you, you're helpless!" Bruce yells, throwing his hands up as he parades himself in a little circle. Y/N must have been a big hell-raiser over the years to get a response like that. The bat grabs the drug dealer, dragging him away as he mumbles to himself.

     I watch as Y/N turns on her heels, tilting her head back and forth as she uses her hand as a puppet, mimicking Bruce's meltdown as she walks away. It's good to see that she still has her humor. Good to see that Bruce hasn't managed to get her killed yet either.

     I follow after her, staying hidden as she walks away. I should talk to her, tell her I'm back. Maybe she knows though. I mean Bruce and Dick know so I would assume Y/N and Alfred know too. Though, if Bruce and her are fighting like this all the time I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce 'forgot' to mention my revival. It's a petty move that would be right up his way.

     Y/N turns down an alley, so I wait a second, just in case. The sound of metal scratching concert fills the night. It's quickly replaced by soft clicks of boots against metal. I poke my head around the corner, watching as she climbs up the fire escape. I slide forward, grabbing a hold of the latter before it slides back into place.

     I don't know why I feel the need to stay hidden as I watch her slide open a window and crawl in. Well, I kind of know. I don't know if it's best for me to just pop back into her life. Maybe she has a boyfriend or a husband. Maybe she has a whole family. If she has settled in life, what gives me the right to tear that up?

     I know it's selfish of me to hope her life ended when I died. What kind of shitty person hopes that? Me. I hope for that. Given, I also hope she's had a fulfilling life since my passing, I just hope it wasn't with another man.

     As I climb up the fire exit, ideas of how to kill Y/N's imaginary boyfriend circle my head. Maybe Bruce is right, maybe I am crazy. I try my best to be silent as I follow Y/N's path. Once I'm on her floor level, I push myself against the brick wall, not wanting to startle her. Well, I'm doing it mostly to catch a breather and prepare for the worst.

     It takes a second, but once my courage is built up, I move, looking into her window, only to be met with a gun barrel in my face. "What the fuck Y/N?!" I yell, raising my hands in a sign of surrender. It would be pretty shitty to come back to life just for my girlfriend - ex-girlfriend? - to blow my head off.

     My eyes scan over her maskless face, taking in her bright eyes, her cheekbones, and her lips. God her lips. It might just be the horn-dog in me, but I've missed her kissing me the most. Well... I can think of other parts of her I missed more. Off-topic, very off-topic thoughts. My... Y/N is holding a gun to my face and my identity is still very much hidden in my helmet. I need to stay on topic.

     "Who the fuck are you?" She yells, her finger featherily light on the trigger. Her body shifts some, causing a small clinking sound.

     My eyes drop down to her neck, the direction the sound came from. Wrapped around her neck and resting on her chest is a black chain with two rings strung on it. One is a basic black ring, with a red band through it. Even from here, I can make out the words on it. Curved on the inner side of the band are the words 'Come home to me' with Y/N's name next to it.

     The other band is a copy of the first but with a small ruby held in the middle. 'Be safe for me' is curved into this one, my name next to the wording. It's the first thing I ever bought Y/N. I bought it when we were thirteen, the cheesy words curved into them being enough to back that up. It took three weeks of pickpocketing to afford, but it was worth every penny.

     "Who. The fuck. Are you?" Y/N repeats, empathizing her words more.

     "Um... Jason... Todd..."

     Y/N's face shifts to confusion and then anger. "Last time I checked, Jason Todd is buried in a box in the Gotham Graveyard. So, try again asshole."

     "Bruce buried me in the fucking public graveyard? Didn't even cross his mind to bury me in the Wayne Graveyard? What the fuck?" I say before I can stop myself.

     "What is going on?" Y/N murmurs, shaking her head some as her eyes widen. "Go... go away murderer," she says, pointing the gun down before slamming the window shut.

     Murderer? Like she wasn't just fighting with Bruce over her wanting to murder someone. I stand still, hands still in the air as I watch Y/N march around her apartment, panic-cleaning as she talks to herself. Her head keeps shifting around like she's trying to erase what just happened. Hopefully, this isn't how she would react if a different murderer appeared outside her window.

     Once my head is on straight again, I push the window open, the wood of it yelling in discomfort as it moves. Y/N keeps pacing around, muttering to herself about crazy people and leaving Gotham. I carefully crawl in, making sure not to knock into anything.

     I let myself rest against the windowsill, watching her pace around the small apartment. How has she lived this long if this is her response to a stalker? Maybe I caused her a mental breakdown.

     A small smile rests on my face as I tug off my helmet and set it on the side table placed next to the window. It's littered with loose change and bullets. Good to see she still has a careless air to her. I always found it cute when we were younger. It made me feel needed, knowing she wouldn't pay attention to the small details even if it would make her life easier. I liked doing those things for her, I like her needing me to do those small things, even if it's not things that need to be done.

     I snap my mask off as well, placing it next to my helmet. Y/N continues to mutter and pace, occasionally throwing a phrase or two at me as she works her thoughts out. I look around her space. There's not much of it, which I'm not surprised about. It is an apartment in Gotham after all. Her living space is filled with bookcases, all of them filled to the seams with books and movies. There's a big, overstuffed couch across from a pricey television, probably an apology gift from Bruce. He's good at replacing emotions with money, which is easy to do when you have enough for ten lifetimes.

     Y/N's kitchen is littered with recipe books, loose papers, random dishes, and spices all over the counters. Her fridge is littered with pictures and more papers. Her bathroom and bedroom doors are swung open, unsurprisingly. She sucks at closing doors.

     Just like Y/N's kitchen, her bathroom counters are littered with makeup. Her bedspread is a mess, but besides that, her room is pretty straight and tidy. Even the nightstand by her bed is item less besides a lone alarm clock. That's not usual for her, maybe Y/N does have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who doesn't mind taking care of the small details for her, just like I used to do.

     From here, I can see the edge of a small table, a deep green cloth drooping off of it, that's tucked into a corner of her room. I let my curiosity get the better of me and push myself off the windowsill, making sure to close it behind me or else it'll be left open for the next two to three weeks.

     I walk into the room, expecting a hidden mess, but there's none to be found. I let my gaze settle on the mystery table that's not so much a mystery anymore.

     In the middle of the table is a picture of me. Well, a picture of us. It's from our first date night at the manor. I'm stretched out on the couch, my head in Y/N's lap and her hands tangled in my hair as we both smile at the camera.

     On either side of the picture is a candle; A white one for peace and a pink one for love. Each is held in a gold candle holder. In front of the picture is a few things. One is a bowl of Skittles, my favorite candy. To the left is a small, blue, empty bowl, and to the right is a full, red bowl.

     In the full bowl is the jewelry I use to wear; my dog tags Bruce gave me, the pocket watch I got from Alfred, the matching Robin bracelet from Dick, and my family cross I got from my mother.

     "So... you are alive," Y/N says, pulling my attention from the altar to her, standing in the doorway. She keeps shifting her weight and her fingers tap against the wood. It would only be more obvious that she's nervous if the word was stamped onto her forehead.

     "So, you made me an altar," I tease, trying to help Y/N calm down and loosen up some.

     "Of course, I made you an altar, Jay. You're Hispanic, it's part of your culture. Just because Bruce won't respect it doesn't mean I won't," Her words come out hot and fast, like she's embarrassed that I saw her memorial of me.  "Dumb, stupid, ginger ass, Hispanic boy," she mumbles, walking into the room.

     "Not my fault a Hispanic woman fell in love with an Irish man," I shoot back, watching as she slides onto her bed, her eyes looking everywhere but me.

     "I know," she mutters, lying back on her bed. "So... you must have one hell of a story to tell me."

————————————

     Ever since my lap around the Lazarus pit, it's been weird waking up. Mostly because my body doesn't remember it's alive yet, and partly because my subconscious has the same feeling, which means it takes a second to remember to breathe in the morning.

     Just like every morning, it takes me a second to remember how to breathe along with taking some time to remember I'm not in a box in the ground. I can feel pressure on my chest. It isn't dirt, it's just my mind playing tricks on me. Just a PTSD attack. It'll clear up any second now.

     Except, it doesn't clear up. I debate on whether I should open my eyes or not. Sometimes opening my eyes makes the attack worse. I don't want to take that chance. There's nothing on my chest, I'm fine. I repeat the thought as I slide my head over my chest. Instead of coming in contact with myself, my fingers slide into a bundle of hair. Well, that's not dirt but the sure as shit is something or someone on top of me.

     I slowly open my eyes, being met with the sight of Y/N curled up on top of me. I can feel the smile crossing my face as I look down at her. She looks so peaceful, fast asleep, softy breathing as she clings to me. I've missed these peaceful moments with Y/N. Most days memories like these were the only thing keeping me going.

     I shift a bit, peaking at the alarm clock on her nightstand; Five sixteen. I didn't plan on spending the night, but there was a lot to talk about, and a lot of time to make up for. Most of the time was spent with me explaining everything from the past four years, my death, the Lazarus pit, my service in the League of Assassins, my reappearance in Gotham, and the newly forming hatred between Bruce and me.

     I guess we ended up falling asleep on accident, especially since my boots are still on. That, and Y/N is still in her spandex suit.

     I shift again, flexing my arm and fingers to try and shake the static feeling out of the arm Y/N's head is on. Despite my efforts to not wake her, Y/N stirs, shifting around on top of me. She whines a bit, her body scooting down my body as she moves. It feels nice having her weight on me, feeling her body heat crashing into me. "Good morning," I whisper, rubbing my hand through her hair.

     "Good morning," She whispers back, pressing a sloppy kiss into my chest. It's sweet, but I wish my shirt was off, I wish I could feel her lips against my bare skin. "You're alive," she adds, sleep still very evident in her voice.

     "I'm alive," I repeat, wrapping my free hand around her back. I pull her up my body, her legs squeezing my sides as her head tucks into my neck. I struggle with being alive again, a lot. It's hard dealing with Bruce. It was hard being in debt to Ra's Al Ghul. Despite that all, in this very moment, it's so worth being alive.

     I flip us over, Y/N's hold still strong on me as I do so. I prop myself up with my knee, not wanting to crush her under me. "I missed you so much," I murmur, sliding my hands under her shirt, the spandex clinging to both of us now.

     "I missed you too," Y/N answers, sliding her hands into my hair, her fingers twirling the strands around themselves. I push her shirt up, laying kisses across the newly exposed skin. It's been so long since I've seen her, smelt her, touched her. After four long years of nothing but my thoughts of her, I can finally play out all my fantasies. I mean, there's no better way to start the day than with a bang.

     Soft mewls fall from her, only encouraging me more. If I had my way, I would keep her locked away in this apartment. Just her and me, and my longing for her. Nothing but her begging for me and me answering her every beck and call.

     "Y/N?" I hum against the skin of her stomach. She tugs softly on my hair, letting me know she's listening. "We're going to stay right here, all week. Maybe even two weeks."

     "I... I can't. I have work."

     "Not anymore. You're not leaving this apartment until we play out every last thought I've had of you. All four years' worth." Her legs tighten around me, an easy sign of her getting needy, an easy sign of me getting my way. I smirk to myself, dipping my hands down to her thighs. "After all, making you feel good is the least I could do after letting Bruce take me from you." Y/N lets out a breathy moan, letting me know I won.

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

[callmelittlebuttercup]

Peace Offerings Pt.4

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Chapter Summary: Joel and Reader pack up Bill's truck and get back on the road. After Reader is hurt in a raider attack in Pittsburg, Joel attempts to comfort her. Then the two seek out a safe place to sleep for the night: on the 33rd floor of a high rise apartment building.

Series Warnings: Slow burn, 18+ Minors DNI, Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Four

The next morning, I helped Joel load up Bill’s truck as the battery charged. We took everything we would need, and everything we could fit. Joel started off the drive, and I was in charge of the map. I’d done this for my parents for every roadtrip since my brother couldn’t be trusted to pay attention. I stayed focused, making sure to not worsen the tension between us by steering him wrong. 

We approached the city. Its condition was almost identical to the Boston QZ, except for one thing: No FEDRA. “That’s not a good sign.” I mumbled to myself as Joel backed the truck away from the congested tunnel. “No shit.” He replied. We drove around the tunnel and through some smaller, more narrow streets. I could tell Joel was stressed, and he became even more so when a young guy limped out into the street while waving his hands and screaming “Help! Please help!” Joel sped up and I gripped the door handle and the center console, “What are you doing?” I asked panickedly. Joel pressed his foot farther down on the pedal and sped towards the guy. I closed my eyes and braced for impact, but it never came. I looked back to see the damage, but the guy was walking away without a limp. “Those were raiders.” I realized. “Yea, and we’ve gotta get the fuck out of h-” Joel’s words paused when he saw another man drop a barrel straight onto the windshield of the truck. 

“Belt off, now!” I heard Joel call as the truck crashed into a storefront. I looked down and saw shards of broken glass scattered across my abdomen. I gasped and moved to take my seatbelt off, but as I reached down I ran my hand straight into a huge shard sticking up between the seats. I yelped in pain, and saw Joel run to my side of the truck. He practically ripped the door open and leaned over me to undo my seatbelt. “You okay?” He asked as his eyes scanned my face. “My hand,” I said as I lifted it up to show him. “Shit. Okay come on.” He pulled away and helped me out of the truck. We covered our heads with our backpacks as we ran to the nearest source of shelter. My hand stung as I dug through my pack to find extra ammo while Joel kept a lookout. 

We heard men approaching and hurried to press our backs against the truck. I looked at Joel, his eyes were wild. They had the same look as when he beat the shit out of the FEDRA gaurd back in Boston. He looked at me and quickly looked back down to my gun. “Hey! We know you’re back there. You can come on out with your hands above your head.” A man’s voice called out. Joel looked at me and shook his head. I kepted still, and waited for my next demand. All of a sudden, Joel stood and began shooting at the men. I did the same alongside him, and took out two of the three. Once we thought we were clear, we turned around and headed for the door in the back of the shop. Before we could reach it, the door burst open and a teenage boy appeared screaming. He held a baseball bat above his head and wielded it wildly. He saw me and aimed, but a shot rang out, and more screaming filled the air. “Please! Please my mom will give you whatever you want if you don’t kill me. Please.” He begged. Joel stood over him, and I watched. “Joel, he’s a kid.” I whimpered. He looked at me, and his eyes widened. I felt two hands grab onto my shoulders and I was yanked back. My body slammed into a taller, more muscular form, and I felt the cold metal of a gun pressed against my head. “Let him go, or Kathleen won’t be happy.” the man holding me demanded. I struggled against his grip, but there was no point, I wasn’t getting out of his hold. The man’s hand moved from my neck, his fingers never left my body as he slid his hand over my breasts down to my torso, then settling it into the curve of my hips. “Got yourself a pretty one, don’t you? It’d be a shame if I took her for myself.” He purred. My stomach turned sour and my cheeks burned with anger. Joel’s face twisted in disgust, “Get your fuckin’ hands off of her.” He growled. “You get your hands off the boy first.” My free hand felt around my thigh for the knife I had strapped onto it. I breathed out in relief when my fingers grasped the wooden handle. I pulled it out slowly, then as soon as my grip on it was good, I jammed it into his thigh. He let out a gutteral scream, and his grip on me loosened. I jumped away from him, flinging my body to the floor. Joel fired two shots into his chest, and the huge man crumpled to the ground. 

I sat up and shook off whatever had just happened. Joel kept his gun trained on the kid who was slowly losing his strength, but his eyes were locked onto me. “You o-” He started to ask, but I cut him off as I stood up, “I’m fine.” He nodded and turned his attention back to the boy. His eyes had closed and his chest was no longer moving. I swallowed back the tears that were forming in my eyes and picked my backpack off the ground. “We need to move.” I said before opening the back door of the shop and exiting into the alleyway. Joel followed me. 

We broke into another vacant store to recuperate for a second. I slid down the wall and onto the floor, folding my legs against my chest and Joel sat on a desk across from me. He was checking how many bullets he had in his gun, but his eyes kept drifting over to my crumpled up form. I had been staring vacantly at the floor. “Better get that hand wrapped up.” He said as he gestured to my shaky, blood covered hand. I picked bit up and looked at it, reminded of the injury. My mind had been so focused on the way the man touched me. The places his hands violated, though not injured, hurt worse than the slice taken out of my hand. I wanted to shed my skin. Just slough it off in one piece and walk away. I nodded and reached into my backpack for a roll of bandaging that I’d stolen from Bill’s medicine cabinet. I sucked air through my teeth as I finally felt the pain of the wound while wrapping the bandage tightly around it. Once I’d tied off the wrapping, I shoved the roll back into my pack. My eyes lifted and met Joel’s. He was staring at me with a look I’d never seen before. It was soft, almost resembling pity. “Are you okay?” He asked again. I raised my hand in front of me to show him the bandage, “Yup.” I sighed. “No… like…” He groaned, clearly tripping over his words, “He shouldn’t have touched you that way. That’s all.” I swallowed, becoming uncomfortable with the vulnerability Joel had seen from me, then spoke, “Not much we can do about it now. After fighting for so long, women are back to being pieces of meat.” I mumbled. His brows furrowed, he wasn’t a fan of that sentiment, “That’s happened to you before?” He questioned, his eyes following me as I lifted myself off of the floor. “No personal shit. You said so yourself.” I grunted as I walked over to the window to peer out into the street. Joel remained quiet, tending to the bruise from his words being thrown back at him.  

The truck was not drivable. Kathleen’s men had looted it, leaving nothing behind. Joel and I decided to find a place to hunker down for the night while we figured out what to do next. We’d found what looked to be a high rise apartment building. We climbed 33 floors before we were both desperately gasping for breath. “Jesus, I thought I was in shape.” I coughed as we both sat on the floor with our backs to the wall. Joel was wheezing so hard he was unable to answer. I pulled my canteen out of my bag and handed it to him. He took a few sips and closed his eyes in relief before handing it back to me. I did the same. 

Once we had our breaths back, we began to make ourselves comfortable. I lined up couch cushions to act as beds, and Joel broke glass and sprinkled it all around the entrance of the room in order for us to hear any intruders. I laid down in the makeshift bed and sighed loudly as my aching back settled into the soft cushions. Sleep was not far away, but before my eyes fully closed, Joel spoke, “Make sure I stay on this side. I’m deaf as shit in my other ear.” I raised an eyebrow, “Uh…Okay?” He pressed his lips together, “From shootin’.” I nodded in understanding and returned to my back. Though the information was minimal, it was yet another peace offering. I decided to accept it and offer another in return, “G’night, Joel.” He opened his eyes and grunted, “G’night.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for the length of this one ! You know what that means though.... next part is going to be GIRTHY ;)

Next Part | Masterlist

[bulkyphrase]

I had every intention of updating my @ficreadingchallenge bingo card every week, but wow I definitely did not do that.

Here's the results of my June and July reading! Maybe I'll do this again next Thursday, or maybe you'll see it again sometime in September.

Details below the cut!

For square 3: vampire AU

Oh Negative by Ladyladylady (@ladyladylady1) (Winterhawk, Mature, 17,663 words)

Summary: “Well alright then. In case it wasn’t clear, everyone is welcome here, vampires included. Anyone who has a problem with that can kindly find a new bar to haunt.” Sam emphasizes his words by pointing the end of his bat around the room, making sure to stop at Brock’s old table. No one speaks up for a beat. Then they hear a throat clear. Clint and Sam snap their heads behind them to the door they’re still blocking. On the steps leading up is a shorter man, but he and Sam are pretty tall, so that’s nothing new. More noteworthy is his chiseled jaw, his tangle of dark, shoulder-length hair, his metal arm, and the fact that he is, unmistakably, a vampire.

there are a lot of things that go wrong for clint in this true blood fusion but he does get a sexy vampire boyfriend in the end

For square 4: fluff

Blossoms Every Day by fluffernutter8 (@theawkwardterrier) (Steggy, General Audiences, 1,961 words)

Summary: When you work at a flower shop requests for elaborate bouquets are just part of the job. Requests for bouquets this specific, on the other hand...

peggy and steve communicate via the language of flowers...sort of. very cute, and love the outsider pov

For square 5: fic written by someone who follows you

Treading Desire Lines by @fohatic (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 43,747 words)

Summary: Tony knows that his daughter can be difficult, but he really needs someone to do him a solid when an important opportunity arises. Unfortunately, word is already out: Morgan Stark is a real handful. Never one to shrink from a challenge, Steve steps in, hoping to shift the strained dynamic between him and Tony and having no idea how the course of his life is about to change.

i'm a little cautious with kidfic and endgame fix-its, but this one really won me over!

For square 6: enemies to friends/lovers

a falling star can't fall forever by Mizzy (@mizzy2k) (James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Teen And Up Audiences, 30,329 words)

Summary: Corporate espionage is a dirty job, but someone has to do it. When a recent job goes awry thanks to the Black Widow, Bucky’s team are demoted to babysitting duty: Howard Stark’s spoiled brat is studying in Cambridge and is completely naive to the dangers of the world. The mission isn’t the complete bust he’s expecting: while off-duty, he meets Natasha and it’s love at first sight. If only that damn irritating Black Widow wasn’t also around, determined to ruin his latest attempt to get a life outside of the spying game. Frustrated by her recent demotion thanks to the Winter Soldier and his irritating team, the last thing Natasha expects is to meet the charming Mr. Barnes. Being reassigned to Europe to assist on a honey-pot mission should be frustrating, but with an unexpected new love on the horizon, Natasha thinks this assignment might not be as bad as she’s expecting. Except then it turns out the Winter Soldier is also in Europe, and he seems determined to completely ruin her life… (An International Iron Man meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU.)

i 💕 rom-com, identity porn, and spy shenanigans

For square 10: fan art

Muzzled and Bound [!Art] by @darthbloodorange (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, words)

Summary: Greg doesn't approve of his brother dating that mutt, Rogers, so he captures the man to teach Tony a lesson.

i want to read the (nonexistent) fic so bad, but will console myself with this lovely art

For square 11: daring rescue

Die Hard (But Only If No Other Options Are Readily Available) by @jenthesweetie (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 23,915 words)

Summary: Tony hadn’t written off the Avengers when he ended up on the Raft. What he absolutely hadn’t expected was for them to show up to break him out.

this exciting post-age of ultron stony reconciliation fic features two daring rescues and several narrow escapes

For square 12: 5 + 1 style fic

Interruptions by mariana_oconnor (@mariana-oconnor) (Winterhawk, Teen And Up Audiences, 8,307 words)

Summary: Five times Bucky tries to tell Clint how he feels and one time Clint succeeds.

poor bucky (and clint) have the worst luck in this fic, but at least they figure it out in the end

For square 13: unfinished/work in progress (this was a WIP when I first added it to the bingo card, but it's complete now)

Factory Regress by SucculentHyena (@succulent-hyena) (Stucky, Teen And Up Audiences, 54,054 words)

Summary: A crashed ship, a mysterious device, and some unfortunate circumstances.

a very fun fic featuring age regression, magical space adventures, and protective husband bucky

For square 14: multiple authors

Never Surrender, Never Give Up by Loran_Arameri, Serinah (@loraneldin, @serinah80) (Stony, Explicit, 85,896 words)

Summary: It’s 2029 and aliens have taken the Earth. Steve is dead, and everyone who’s left of the Avengers is fighting for the last few thousand humans. They don’t have much time, or rather the energy: the last of the arc reactors will fail in less than a month, and Tony can’t make another one. Their base will fall.The Earth’s best defender is out of options. *** Years they fought against the Chitauri, and they have lost. Steve is sure that Tony would agree: only traveling back in time could save them now. But Steve wasn't sure if he should, and now he's out of time so he takes one last, desperate gamble. When will he end up?

beautifully angsty fic featuring the end of the world, time travel, double identity porn, and some very hot dom tony/sub steve

For square 15: crossover or fusion fic

Early American X-Ray Specs by aetataureate (@psychicrhubarb) (Steggy, Teen And Up Audiences, 23,183 words)

Summary: “I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence,” Steve said.

this hilarious fic is everything a steggy + national treasure fusion should be

For square 17: reread an old fave

If Through a Door by @jibrailis (Stony, Explicit, 44,036 words)

Summary: Tony is accused of murder on an alien planet; Steve marries him to bring him home.

this canon universe marriage of convenience story with a side of alien murder mystery is one of the first stony fics i ever read

For square 18: 5+ year old fic

Sea Stars by Muccamukk (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 41,960 words)

Summary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn't remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.

post-(comics) civil war fic where a magical resurrection meets tech-based amnesia

For square 19: mythical creature AU

Nights When the Wolves Are Silent, and Only the Moon Howls by Cluegirl, Defiler_Wyrm (art by @defilerwyrm) (Stony & Stucky, Mature, 77,612 words)

Summary: “Could you drop all that stoic shit and be my freaking-the-hell-out wingman for just like, five seconds here?” Steve wasn’t sure he could think of anything he wanted less to do than to freak out about his wounds just then though, so he reached across his chest and gingerly patted Sam’s clenched knuckles. “It’ll be fine,” he promised, believing it. “Serum’s handled worse.” “You know, I actually believe you,” Sam allowed after a long second of glaring. “Which is deeply alarming, considering how much of your connective tissue I’ve touched in the last 4 hours. Now you wanna tell me what Russoff’s men did to you that made it look like you got mauled by a bear?” Steve flinched, then breathed the memory down to size. “Not a bear,” he murmured. “Wolves.”

💖 werewolf (mcu) civil war fix-it my beloved 💖

For square 24: BIPOC main character

Fill Her (With Words of Hope For Her People) by sweetheart35 (@billyhargrovetrash) (Gen, Not Rated, 6,236 words)

Summary: Okoye delivers the news. Shuri had watched the two guards who had been assigned to guard her and the android disintegrate into dust in front of her. She had watched, frozen, as one had sighed before closing his eyes and the other turn to her and say “Princess -“ and take a step towards her before he simply collapsed, dust scattered across the floor. Shuri is a genius, the head of Wakanda’s research and development division and their outreach program but she cannot fathom what is happening.

an absolutely beautiful story about shuri leading wakanda after the snap

For square : Free space

Bird Set Free by mrs_d (Samsteve, Teen And Up Audiences, 15,361 words)

Summary: Steve thinks all hope is lost when he gets transformed into a helpless finch, but then he meets a man who smells amazing and, even better, can understand what he’s saying.

this super-cute fic features steve as a fierce but easily distracted finch and sam as a bakery shop owner who can talk to birds

[kurtc0ba1n]

I really wanted to share the rest of my shoes collection with y'all cuz I'm kinda silly about my shoes and I love sharing things I'm silly about!

just for you to know I do mention assault and sexual harassment in the 3rd / middle paragraph, its near the end, I did beat up a dude cuz he did some crappy stuff to his gf, ill highlight the first word of the paragraph in red so you know to skip it if it makes you uncomfortable, I want everyone to feel welcome and safe on my page.

top left: these were like 10ish bucks off Amazon that I got a year ago the glue that's keeping them tg is falling apart but their still functional, the spiderwebs I drew myself, I did them over a week or so ago the laces are also in the shape of a pentagram!

top right: these were my first pair of converse, they where a gift from my parents on my birthday/Halloween gift. they have small little flowers sewn on them, and the beads have my favorite bands at the time 'Green Day' (on the right shoe) and 'Mcr Frank' (on the left shoe) Frank is my all time favorite mcr member!

middle: these were a pair of Demonia I found at my local GoodWill, I bought them for 7ish buck (idk how I got them so cheap...) they are like a size or 2 to big but idc, I put the trans flag on bottom lace and often joke with my friends that its mcrs official colors lmao, my favorite part about these shoes is that there is a metal plate at the bottom of each boot, these are my go to riot boots/ fight boots, one time I beat up a kid in these boots for hitting his girlfriend an making her physically uncomfy, there's still some of his blood on there. These also aren't produced in factory anymore and cant be found on their official website and would easily run for 100ish bucks! (the condition of these are really really bad tho D: )

bottom left: these are my choir shoes/ dress shoes, I wear these with dresses and competitions or concerts (performance wise). I got these from old navy, I really wanna add a metal plate at the bottom or add a chain, but these are the only pair of shoes I promised not to destroy!

bottom right: I already talked about these, but I got these from GoodWill as well for a really cheap price, these shoes have had the most time and effort put into them, just today I put the bat wings on, theres lyrics on them from MCR sex pistols, and nirvana, the beads have my favorite punk bands at the time I got them, the left foot reads 'Blackflag' and the right reads 'Misfits'

Thanks for reading have a great day/night!!

-KurtC0ba1n

[sorenblr]

Well here’s the Camael event! Camael and his army of Powers invade the Cat Kingdom, an Aura Gate(basically the Domains of Dx2) where cat demons rule over their fellow cats and weaker demons lead by their King Cait Sith, his generals Neko Shogun and Ose, the lady he’s swooning over Nekomata, and one of the Liberators demons Kabuso(who forgot he’s a “dog” since he’s an otter). Conflict breaks out as Camael takes over the place to prepare for the demon Rahabs arrival, who appeared in a previous-

Man, you sent a lot of these. Putting the rest behind a break, but if you'd like a summary of the latest Dx2 event followed by one of my world famous rejoinders, read on:

-event where Rahab sought war against God, the angels recruited the Liberators as weapons of God due to their past Archangel events, ending with Rahab screaming revenge against the Liberators when they refused to join him after he beat the angels and wanted them as his own tools while acting like he’s different. Now the Liberators go to deal with the incident when they learned Rahab would return, and try to foster peace as Camaels forces suffer at the hands of Cait Sith and his defiant army.But-

-But even when the Liberators managed to convince both sides to cooperate against Rahab would kill all of them, Camaels soldiers executed the civillians of the Cat Kingdom after finding their hidden refuge for non-combatants, including the Kingdoms beloved Nekomata. Enraged Cait Sith and his allies retaliate with fury when Camael didn’t even bat an eye at the massacre of the civillians, with Rahab appearing just as both sides are fighting even more intensely than ever foiling any plans that-

-could stop Rahab. Ose and Neko Shogun die alongside the rest of Cait Siths soldiers, and when both Caith Sith and Camael had an opportunity to strike Rahab down, both stopped as they knew the other would kill Rahabs slayer afterwards, allowing the dragon to escape and plot revenge another day. Left with no one but his friend Kabuso, Cait Sith wanders off in despair at having lost everything, while Camael retreats stating that apologizing is an insult to his Lord and awaits the day they are of-

-of use to the Lord again. The Liberators are left with the reminder that their beliefs aren’t easy and that they can even be broken for perfectly rational reasons, they still have to strive for it if they wish to stop the Apocalypse of Vanitas.

The event comes with a stronger version of Cait Sith as well to signify that this Cait Sith isn’t your average saiy-I mean cat fairy warrior king too! And Camael proves to be metal as hell as his response to a Power complaining about an injured arm was to chop it off and say it no longer impedes the soldier.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that Camael's event would see him allowing a pogrom to occur in the 'Cat Kingdom'. The Dx2 writers are playing a different game entirely. I feel myself humbled.

[enriquemzn262]

I don’t think enough people understand how incredibly powerful Eminem is, which is strange because he has been constantly informing us of his capabilities for years

Let’s start with his healing factor. Eminem seems to be virtually immortal, capable of surviving all manner of fatal injuries unphased. In the song I’m Shady, he states sings “The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike/While I blow my brain out, just to see what it feels like.” This man mutilates himself recreationally.

This regeneration ability seems to have manifested in his early youth, as in the song Brain Damage, he recalls a time in which his brain fell out of his skull and simply and casually picked it up and put it back in his head (“She beat me over the head with the remote control/Opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull/I picked it up and screamed ‘Look bitch, what have you done!?’/‘Oh my God! I'm sorry son!’ ‘Shut up you cunt!"/I said ‘Fuck it!’ Took it and stuck it back up in my head/Then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck.”

He is also seemingly unaffected by the loss of limbs, being able to function perfectly with just one leg (“But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll/With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled,” As the World Turns)

Eminem seems to possess elemental abilities that could rival or even surpass those of X-Men’s Storm, considering that he’s “hot enough to melt hell and burn Satan too,” can “catch lightning in a bottle” and “set fire to water” (Cinderella Man). In addition, he is “cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain” (Bad Meets Evil)

If Eminem ever finds himself in a disadvantageous position, he can summon the power of his “Gadget Dick.” While the full capabilities of this appendage are unknown, it is capable of causing an earthquake and power outage upon being “whipped out.” So we can comfortably assume that his penis alone is a city-level threat at the very least (“Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick/Duh-dah-duh-dah-duh-duh! Go-go gadget dick!/Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it/It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage,” As the World Turns)

He has canonically killed Superman (“I killed Superman,” Rain Man), he possesses a “spider sense” on par with that of Spider-Man’s (“My spider sense is telling me Spiderman is nearby and my plan is to get him next,” Rain Man), he is capable of of destroying Iron Man’s armor with his acidic saliva, as well as turning Iron Man into plastic (“Salivas like sulfuric acid in your hand it'll eat through/Anything metal, the ass of Iron Man/Turn him into plastic so for you to think…” On Fire) and has battled the likes of Freddy Krueger and survived unscathed (“Walked up Elm Street with a fuckin' Wiffle bat drew/Fought Freddy Krueger, and Edward Scissorhands too/Then came out with a little scratch, ooh,” Underground).

He is capable of stealing other people’s abilities (“Have Michael Myers looking like a liar/Swipe his powers, replace his knife with flowers and a stack of flyers,” Underground). He also possesses the same abilities as the Hulk (“I’m unstoppable, Incredible Hulk,” Drop the World) and considers himself superior to Thor (“So you’ll be Thor and I’ll be Odin,” Rap God)

By his own admission, he holds the entire planet in the palm of his hand (“So tell Saddam not to bother with makin’ another bomb cause I’ve got the whole world in my palm,” Still Don’t Give a Fuck), implying that he is some sort of entity similar to the Buddha from Journey to the West. He could crush this world anytime he wants.

He is capable of surviving a fall into Hell, can withstand the heat of hellfire and casually manhandle Satan (“Splattered all over the entire state/and straight to hell, got impaled by the gates/Saw Satan, stuck his face in an ashtray/While I sashayed around flames with a match/And I gave him the gas face,” Wicked Ways)

He can manipulate time itself (“Smash an hourglass, grab the sand, takes his hands and cup 'em/Spin a rhyme to freeze the clock, take the hands of time and cuff 'em… Rewound the future to the present, paused it, don't ask how,” Cinderella Man), and possess reality warping capabilities that defy logic (“Fuck catchin' lightnin', he struck it, screamed, ‘Shut up’ at thunder/Then flipped the world upside down and made it rain upward,” Cinderella Man)

His very existence defies God (“Shit, I ain't even supposed to be here by the grace of God,” Cinderella Man)

And top of all that… he’s just straight up omnipotent (“I’m omnipotent,” Rap God)

So, sorry Goku fans, Superman fans, Rimuru fans, Ben 10 fans, Saitama fans, etc, Eminem stomps your favorite character

Now you made me remember why I stopped being an Eminem fan the moment I became fully bilingual.

[tylerthirst]

i started this month talking to this girl. ngl i didn’t really like her that much and i feeling kinda desperate atm, then like 2 days later, im assigned to this film group for one of my classes and right off the bat they’re just so rude for no reason. like literally every idea i had they shot down like “well we don’t need to do that 😐 personally i’m not gonna worry about it” they also made me reserve like 40 pounds of equipment and conveniently were unavailable to help me with it. i. don’t want to acknowledge any of them after this is project is over. then the girl i was talking to started being weird. ngl she was kinda weird since the beginning but i was trying to ignore it but it was too weird, we made out and her mouth tasted metallic, there was no metal in her mouth btw. she also took me to this church parking lot where she lost her virginity and tried to fuck me there. i told her that i wasn’t really feeling it. i told her that i wasn’t really looking for a relationship with her but that didn’t stop her from texting me every night about how much she missed me even though i barely talked to her after that 💀 i started talking to another shawty after that and it was going really good! it seemed like we had good chemistry but i guess we didn’t because they ended up ghosting me after our first date 😁 also while all of this is happening i applied to this job and they called me while i was infront of my suitemate and she decided to come with me to my job interview and now we have the same job. now the thing is, this is very annoying! because i see her literally every day and it’d be nice to have smth to myself, plus she’s been really irritating lately, she’s always talking about how much she hates lesbians and she gets jealous when i hang out with my friends without her, plus she’s been really fucking rude lately for no reason, like i’m basically the one that carpools her to work and when i parked she slammed the fuck out of my car door and went back into my building without me 😐 i wanna beat her ass so bad. also i don’t even like my job that much i don’t even remember applying to it but eh money ig, apparently some guy i was training with was recording me when i wasn’t looking and sent it to someone?? tbh i wanna quit that job so her getting to work can be her problem, im tired of people disrespecting me when i’ve been nothing but nice to them, im this close 🤏🏽 to smoking cigarettes i swear to god, if one more bad thing happens to me i’m blowing up a government building

[stabyou]

im just so embarrassing man. i know exactly why i avoid everyone and shove everything inside. im just so painfully embarrassing and unpalatable, every thing i do is all a reflection of how unlikable i am. i avoid everything that hurts, everyone that hurts me, but i can't avoid myself. im always here and i want to rip my brain out and beat it with a metal bat until it acts like a normal person worthy of love. until it fucking stops making everyone hate me

[godblooded]

"so, you are telling me the little bat put the cat on a leash? or rather—the cat handed over its leash to a bat? now, that is quaint," his lips are curled into a half-smile as the only visible part of his face. perched upon the fire exit, he looks like an apparition in black and pure white. "but i suppose i can hardly talk, considering the deal i have struck myself." no killings. no brutality. efficiency without bloodshed seems curious, but...

there is a pause, a beat, as if the ghost considers his wording, his options. from killer to killer, there should be little room for pleasantries, but he is trying to be more man than weapon. just this once. just this time, to see if it is worth the challenge.

"does the itch of yanking it all back into place ever die, kyle?"

“ no. it doesn’t. right now i want to go commit five murders, steal twelve cars, strip five bikes, and piss the bat off to the point of choking me to death. that’s usually my sequence. murder, theft, relief, death. in that order. problem: the bat won’t fucking choke me to death, so there goes the whole plan. ”

she isn’t funny, but @hamartiana​ knows the cat is harsh, hisses without meaning to hiss, bristles without meaning to bristle. every inch of her stands on end when it comes to any intronspection. the ghost and the cat have one major thing in common: their flaws are both glaring and visible to them with a clarity others can’t begin to see of themselves. unkindness is sometimes not unkind from selina’s mouth, but how else can she act? she’s kind to a very small margin. the percentage is probably single digits. 

“ don’t call me that ever again. if you’re going to use my name, it’s selina. do it again and i’ll bleed you in my bathroom. ”

her dad’s last name could make her chew her cheek open, spill metal onto her tongue for the rush of relief.

“ ..who the fuck puts a cat on a leash? the point of a cat is to not be on a leash. if you want that, you get a dog. the fuck? who walks their cat? ”

and, of course-- 

“ don’t be a hypocrite, spooky. that lead all the way back to wayne manor must have been expensive. he still working on the right shock collar? ”

[thelonguepuree]

A Bridge, a Remarkable Bridge

In between waters frozen or boiling, a bridge, a remarkable bridge that’s hidden, but it spans over its own handwritten manuscript, over its own suspicion of its ability to pilfer parasols from pregnant women, with pregnancy of a question conveyed on the back of a mule impelled to accomplish the mission that is to elongate or alter gardens into alcoves where children lend their curls to waves, because waves are as mannered as God’s yawning, like the games of gods, like the nautilus covering a village with its dice-thrown, half-scored inflection, and of animals crossing the bridge with the latest Edison safety bulb. The lightbulb, happily, blows out, and onto the other side of the worker’s face, I entertain myself by placing pins, for he was one of my loveliest friends and I secretly envied him. A bridge, a remarkable bridge that’s hidden, bridge that was a byway for drunks who claimed they required a diet of cement, while, lion-hearted, the poor cement surrendered its riches as depicted by a miniaturist because, mind you, on Thursdays, bridges busy themselves as crossings for deposed kings unable to forget the last chess game played between a whippet whose microcephalia is reiterated and a great wall that crumbles like a cow’s skeleton seen through a skylight, geometrical and Mediterranean. Led by astronomical numbers of ants and by a camel made of smoke, a great silver shark must now cross the bridge, in point of fact it’s only three million ants that in a momentous hernia-producing buoy lift the silver shark at midnight across the bridge as if it were another ousted king. A bridge, a remarkable bridge, hence it’s hidden, honey-colored armature, maybe it’s the Sicilian vespers painted on a small poster painted also with a great crash of water when it all ends in the saline silver we have to cross despite the silent swollen armies that have laid siege to the city without silence because they know I’m there and I saunter and I see my wounded head and the immutable squadrons exclaim: It’s a beating drum, We lost my fiancée’s favorite flag, I’d like tonight to drift into sleep poking holes in my sheets. Remarkable bridge, my mind’s matter, and the drumrolls nearing closer to home, thereafter I don’t know what happened, but it’s midnight now, and I’m crossing what my heart feels is a remarkable bridge. But the back of the remarkable bridge can’t hear what I’m saying: that I was never able to feel hunger for since I was blinded I’ve placed in the middle of my bedroom a great silver shark from which, meticulously, I break off pieces I roll into the shape of a flute that the rain amuses, defines, and congregates. But my nostalgia is endless, because such nourishment endures a stern eternity, and it’s likely hunger and jealousy can only replace the great silver shark I’ve set at the center of my room. But no hunger, no jealousy, not this animal, a favorite of Lautréamont, ought to cross alone and conceited over the remarkable bridge, because the goats of noble Hellenic descent displayed their flute collection at the last international exhibit, of which today an echo lingers in the nostalgic morning prone to pilgrimage, when the sea’s torso gives way to a small green bedspread and verifies its cabinet of pipes, where so many bats have been set aflame. Carolingian roses burgeoned on the edge of a crooked rod. In the fourth quarter of midnight, a cone of water formed by mules sepulchered in my garden reveals that the bridge wants to fashion such exquisite belongings. Little hands of ancient idols, absinthe infused with the rapture of high-soaring birds that mollify the part of the bridge supported over squashy cement, almost jellyfish-like. But now to salvage my head it’s time for metallic tools to be stunned mirroring the danger of drool now shaped into shellfish glazed by the acid of unpardonable kisses the morning tucks into a new change purse. Does the bridge, turning, only envelop the mistletoe and its olive-colored tenderness, or around the hump and scratched violin that grates the side of the leaking bridge? And morning’s campana can’t even transform the pink flesh of the unforgetting mollusk into dental notches of the glazed shellfish Remarkable bridge, unbridled bridge that nuzzles boiling waters, and sleep an onslaught to the flesh until it’s rendered soft and the edge of unexpected moons resounds to the end with mermaids oozing their latest seaside proclivity. A bridge, a remarkable bridge, it’s hidden, waters boiling, frozen, surging against the last defensive wall to ravish the mind, the single voice crosses the bridge again, like the blind king who, unbeknownst to him, has been deposed, and he dies mended tenderly to the allegiance of night. —José Lezama Lima, from Enemigo rumor (1941), trans. Roberto Tejada

[xratedpuppettheatreofthedead]

Cat abuse in the past.

I wish I was big enough to beat his ass when my biodad hurt Annie. He'd throw her outside and push her around and. I don't wanna talk about it no more but he was a small man wanting to feel big by kicking around his little boy's cat. I wish I was big enough to beat his ass now. He's frail and old now, not old enough to beat his ass by a landslide, but he's taken worse care of himself than I have of myself. I look at my girl Layla and I think, if I saw anyone kick her, I don't think I'd control myself. I've got a metal bat behind the closet door in my lil sisters room and I'd be lying if I didn't think of how bad I wish he'd break in again and I could be the one to defend myself this time.