#i will be there opening day regardless !
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Possibly The most surprising thing I have discovered on the internet is the number of people who will unironically refer to others as "degenerates" without expecting anyone reading this to immediately assume that they are a straight-up fascist
#i don't mean the actual nazis though alas there are an eye-opening number of those on the internet too#i mean the 19yo purity wankers who will vaguely gesture at lefty talking points while freely tossing around 'degenerate' as an insult#apparently without recognizing that this sets off like 1000 warning sirens for anyone w the slightest familiarity w fascist rhetoric#bonus points if they actually use the phrase ''degenerate art''#genuinely i have spent my entire internet life immediately blocking anyone who does this on the assumption they are an Actual Nazi#only to discover an alarming number of Kids These Days doing it????? to a point i don't think it can just be undercover fash?????#obviously the purity wank is itself concerning regardless of what political talking points they have learned to parrot but i just.#the multiple overlapping layers of accidentally-right-wing lack of self awareness are. TRULY incredible to witness.#my posts
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fingon, who was left behind and abandonend by just about anyone in his family at some point, who died alone because maedhros did not return to him in time either. how many times can you be second choice no matter how little it is about you and not have that fester into bitter, bitter anger. how much worse does it get, at some point, that it isn't even about you but you simply matter less than whatever else was more important just then. how long can you cling to the rationale before you always see everyone with one foot already out of the door. how long can you keep loving and loving and loving despite,until there is nothing left to give. and then keep giving anyway because, after all, you know what it's like to be abandonend
#*mine#mona rambles#tolkien#silm#fingon#anyway i'm fine why do you ask#like. important to me that this is not a judgment of the reasons why people left him/didn't return/etc#in most cases it really wasn't anyone's want or even decision#and obviously there were times where fingolfin crossed the ice for him! turgon opened gondolin!! and yet.#and YET. how many times until it starts scraping you raw regardless you know#i just think fingon. the complexities. the nuance. the anger and the abandonment issues and the pretending and!!!!#do you get it. shaking you. god. goddddddddd. my GUY#great wednesday night to have yet another breakdown over him end the day how you started it i guess
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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People on this fucking site: Hey I got this this this and this on my dni if you are one of these STAY AWAY
The same fucking person: *keeps liking and reblogging from things on their dni list*
#like#HELLO??????????????#stop being a fucking clown for fucks sake#anyway good afternoon this keeps happening whenever I first open tumblr the first time for the day#what a great fucking time its been lately#almost as if most of the new crowds of bloggers regardless of age HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE DOING
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i'm not gonna be able to handle it if the supergirl: woman of tomorrow movie is bad. last time kara got a bad movie they killed her for 20 years.
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More progress being made. I finished re-reading The Illusion of Living this past Friday. It's a nice book. 👍 This was the last of the Bendy books in this "marathon" that I'm doing which I had already read previously and now I'm rereading, meaning that I'm kind of up to date when it comes to rereading all the books that were released until December 2021. But the race is not over yet. Soon I'll start Fade To Black, and (technically) I'll finally be up to date.
Just to continue my chain of posting about the books I finished (at least, the main ones that I really wanted to read) here it is…something I did at the beginning of March, on the night when shit went down. (I hope you know what I'm talking about). I saw the tweets first hand, I was there! Right at the damn moment. And it was..something reading those tweets alright. If the image above doesn't show it, my mood that night and the next 1-2 days wasn't so… great. You might read this and think I'm exaggerating, but that night especially I, uuhhh, I didn't feel good! And this image (and maybe 2 more posts I made that night) are the results of that. (And to think that a week before this happened, I had finished rereading DCTL after a long time. Talk about better/worse timing than this)
At least, if you want the bright side of this, it's that even after that day, I decided to continue with my book marathon, and I don't regret it. I was down that day, but I wasn't out yet damn it!! and I'm still not. (I don't know if this sentence makes a lot of sense, but you get my point)
As a bonus, here's something I did the night I got to the part where Henry is first mentioned in the book (you can consider this as a representation of my reaction when he's first mentioned, both for when I read TIOL for the first time in 2021, as now in this rereading)
Feat. canon Henry design and my fanon design for him (I wanted to include him here + I still read this book with my fan-designs in mind)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#crookedsmile open his mouth#crookedsmile open his mouth;bendy#ABBY LAMBERT; IN MY HEART YOU ALWAYS BE CANON TO THE GAMES; I DON'T CARE WHAT THE OTHERS SAY#also;i'm a Henry Stein fan;could you tell#re-looking at the first image and realizing that I will probably have to change my Abby design eventually;specifically; the hair.#I'm sure this hair doesn't match with what was described in DCTL or TIOL;#It's going to be a little strange; I'm so used to drawing her like this; but hey; every now and then we have to make sacrifices#To summarize my thoughts on TIOL: it's a nice book! Although it is not my favorite among the other Bendy books written by Kress#It's great to see more of Joey; delving deeper into his character and seeing how he thinks and seeing more of his life before the studio#is an interesting read! but I still prefer stories like DCTL and TLO; you know;especially because these two also have the horror factor in#which;considering what TIOL is; it doesn't have it. It's still a good book tho. It's just not my favorite#and re: the whole book canonity thing: I was not happy! Wow; what a surprising thing to say#as someone who enjoyed the books;I was disappointed with what I thought was expanding the games universe;In the end;just wasn't doing it#like;ok;sure;that doesn't mean the books aren't worth reading; I'd say they are! but still;*points to the last tag*#Maybe; one day; in the future; I can even accept this decision and move on with life; you know. understand the why of this.#but in the current present? yeah;no. I will continue to ask myself why#I would say more; but Tumblr has a tag limit apparently so I'm running out of time. as a last message: read the books#regardless of what the devs say; I still think these things should be recognized.#that's all; peace
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IF I WERE WOY CREW I WOULD ALSO FIGHT FOR THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING THE LESBIAN FLAG SOMEWHERE ON OR NEAR DOMINATOR IN JUST ONE WHOLE SCENE IN THE SHOW SEND TWEET
#(maybe at the end of her character arc to avoid any unsavoriness / unfortunate implications about her feral ass idkidk hmhjujjnfgs)#Wander Over Yonder#Lord Dominator#granted that's in the scenario where say craig is fine with ascending her lesbianism to official canon status#(currenlty it's abt on the same level of canonicity as wander's logevity/immortality. as in they're written as being but it's not OFFICIAL)#but like i feel kinda strongly about um. it's great to leave characters fully open to interpretation so that all takes can be valid#BUT i think that if the crew sees a character as one thing and goes so far as to write them as being that#then it should 100% be made official official canon bc um HEY ahjaghjsdnmds. like atp the collaboration the silent agreement THE CODING#that's!!! a lot!!!! atp it's important to confirm the rep as being meaningful to the show canon and make it official ygm#and when it's like. when it's as tiny a thing irt the overall plot/character development. you don't have to go crazy with that confirm#SLAP A FLAG DOWN & CALL IT A DAY WHO'S WITH ME haha#TOH DID IT OK K.O. DID IT NIMONA DOES IT!!!!!!! DO YOU SEE THE VISIONN#oh but speaking of making canon rep explicit. if dom were to be confirmed i would also push for a super lesbian coded NON-villain#yk just to avoid. a certain disney trope#same with the aro coding like idk if she's meant to be literally aro or not but regardless#i think woy could really use an unequivocably do-gooding good guy character who is as romance repulsed as dominator is#bc i think the show does a fine job of separating her disinterest from her evil - doing evil is evil. not liking romance is neutral#THAT MESSAGE IS THERE IMHO!!#but it doesn't do a fine ENOUGH job#i think the character who is hella unparalleled in her evilness n all that shouldn't be the only character in the show who's No Romo#anyway im getting way too rambly about.. what is literally just the discussion of TINY THINGS YOU CAN DO TO DO GOOD BY LGBT REP BUT AAAA#as much as i have to say about them in practice these would all be very tiny things and i just love how much you can say with a little#if that all makes sense#❤️
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truly nothing like the girl i had a crush on in college (and in two separate conversations i suspected it might be mutual) posting from the beaches concert that leandra is an icon and also i found out s few days ago she and her bf just broke up
#what do i DO#in case it's not clear talking about leandra means she is in fact bi this is akin to drunk girl from party posting about chappell#(gayer actually bc everyone's loving chappel now)#the answer is that i like the leandra post and do nothing else and i wait longer than i did w my ex after her breakup#(though i was still waiting she's the one who started things) but regardless. going insane here !!!!!!#shes a tattoo artist now and she did one of mine and i had some completely unfounded hopes for that day until i found out about the bf#but now that it's over...............#vie#fuck it her name is dani her tattoo account is dose.of.dot#wait i actually am coincidentally about to make the slightest move bc my next ig post of my scrapbooking style photo dump catch up includes#the day i got the tattoo and i'll be tagging her#open to ideas to makey caption the slightest bit flirty somehow?? probably wont do it#it was going to be 'november 2022: new tattoo by @dose.of.dot 🖤 and uoft engineering tour with matt (he starts this fall!'#i was deciding between the heart and 🌿 bc the tattoo is literally that but the black heart is kind of her thing#wait. i just went on her ig again and we have the same favourite emoji it seems bc she has her name as Dani✨ and i changed mine bc i was#annoyed that john associated it w me but mine used to be sierra✨#........i think im gonna change it back it's not obvious enough that she'd think it's weird right? it literally used to be that for ages#im doing it#ok i did it and i'll make the post tomorrow and that's all
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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Oh………….. 😵💫…
#nbs don’t touch#let me get off of Twitter man#the qrt is a joke obviously the girl also has a septum but overall#All skinfolk ain't kinfolk…….. like most definitely#and sm of them would say stuff like this and go ‘it was a joke-‘ but as a black person why even post this online for the world to see anyway#like that video tha went viral the other day of the black dude walking and running like a silverback gorilla….. why post that ☠️…….#sm of these people are literal agents of white supremacy bro#and I’m not saying all of this in a ‘omg i don’t want wp to have anything to say about us 🥺-‘ kinda way I don’t gaf what they think they’re#going to be racist regardless#I just wish that these kinds of black ppl had enough integrity to at least keep the coon shit to themselves but these are the ppl who will#do anything for the approval of wp and attention regardless so it doesn’t matter man#thinking about that buff nigga that goes around opening his mouth up super wide before he chomps down on food talm bout some ‘SHARK BITE’#and dancing and doing too much for white attention 😭…. and the other coon who eats his food as if he’s never eaten food before like an#idiot making animal sounds like a monkey and so on in public bro#sm of these mfs will happily buck dance just for wp ppl to pat them on the head it’s crazy#rambling
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Also it brings me zero pleasure to be Cassandra here, but “mass deportation” is a synonym for murder. I need you all to understand this. Even in the absolute best case scenario, it means large numbers of people being warehoused in slapdash facilities where illness spreads quickly and medical care is inadequate. It means government contractors providing food, trying to make a killing, and inevitably cutting corners on costs/quality/safety. It means police violence against people being rounded up. It means US citizen children being removed from their families or deported with them. It means people being returned to countries they fled in fear of their lives, and killed by domestic abusers/gangs/governments. It means bureaucratic mixups (/apathy/malice) that result in people getting dropped off in dangerous cities that they’ve never even visited late at night.
It means all of this and more, and if the government comes for your neighbors you should respond as if you are witnessing an attempted murder.
#lines on a map#us politics#usa continues having an extremely normal one#my posts#and while i’m here i hope biden harris et al go to sleep every night with the knowledge that they ran hard to the right on immigration#for absolutely ZERO gain except fox news calling them unhinged open borders leftists every minute of every day#regardless of the fact that they were running a lightly airbrushed version of the stephen miller playbook#why yes i’m full of white hot rage about this how could you tell
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ooc. slides this onto the dash bc it looked fun
#★ | ( memes ) – ❝ 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒇𝒚 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒆!#it looked really fun and i think its a good way to say “hey our characters might mesh!”#or “i'm interested in trying to ship!”#doesn't have to be that context but yeah! just fun to fill out regardless#gonna do lucie and caspian on another day#open to mutuals
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Just thinking about how being in pain so much you believe you're Literally Falling Apart is not a normal experience
#jasper rambles#sincerely the worst of my migraines genuinely convince me my skull is going to burst open#between that being the best descriptor for the level of pain id be in + the hazy brain fog of pain#tha k god im on migraine meds now dude idk how i was living like that#like that level of pain is. to my understanding. something very few abled people experience outside of a life and death sort of situation#meanwhile me and my fellow disabled people. have this pain as part of our lives. for some of us it's just our worst days. for some of us#it's even more often than that. regardless its still too much and too often#disabled#disability
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We have sent the response.
Granted, it was not entirely me who wrote it. I know I am not fully front; I must not be, surely. But I know I gave input when some words did not sound fitting (for me, at least). But we have sent in the response email.
Prior to, we went out for a walk, confirming the location of the work site. A mix of an excuse and an actual desire to, we also called our grandmother while we were out. We generally prefer to not be in the apartment when we call anyone, anyway, and stay in our room or out in the stairwell if we stay.
Oh, also. I felt greatly inclined to sign off with my name, instead of the collective name. Neither felt entirely comfortable so one must compromise regardless.
#I believe it is a strange mix of co-hosts? The one we base our singletsona on and I.#Regardless; I do hope we are able to land the job. 'Bestie' said that he would go with us if he was not working that day (he does not know#- when he will start working so that alone is a tad uncertain for him).#Being able to see the store open was nice. {We should go inside at some point} <- not entirely my desire.#I do agree though. It would benefit us greatly to have even a small ounce of familiarity with the location we will hopefully work at.#bespoken wishes
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MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT ARRIVED AND IT'S SO COOL!!!!!!! BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS
I'm SO happy. They are such pretty books. I've had them for 10 minutes and I love them so much already. One of the Shadows of Almia ones even had a poster still inside.
#thank god the seller was having a sale right around my birthday AKNDJBD there was one i didn't get because this was already a lot#there's at least one in these sets that i know i'm missing bc they didn't have it but it's pictured in one of the dustjackets#so maybe one day i can track that down too#but regardless i feel VERY DELIGHTED WITH MY BOOKS#all the japanese books i've gotten (which was like 2 until now but anyway) have been so pretty i love them sm#ooc ✻ who opened the box
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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