#i will also say that wyll's part in all of this has been Very lacking because he truly needs more content in comparison to astarion

[allegorism]

while i think it's fair to worry about how much they're going to change certain stuff, i also think there's Way too much doomposting surrounding bg3's changes in characterisation

[barbatusart]

adding on to the initial evil wyll post here, messy thinking outloud below the cut lol

one thing i really like doing with characters that feel underwritten is taking that nebulous quality at face value & as deliberate authorial choice. i also feel that in this light, it was no accident that wyll went from boisterous & egotistical to a more gentle & humble demeanor yet still retained the entire warlock pact backstory (which again if a character is in a warlock pact at all that says something about them imo)

mixing this all together for myself - the humble & charming persona, the “blade of frontiers” spoken of like he’s talking about someone who isn’t himself, the scorned boy striving to become the hero arguably to try & fill that psychic wound hole his father’s rejection left in him - im left with a portrait of a man with a nature steeped in a strange breed of the duplicitous. the nature of his pact with mizora demands secrecy to begin with (the reason for his banishment in the first place when he physically couldn’t speak a word of it to his father to explain) but i feel this motif goes a few steps further - on a surface level one could argue that he feels he needs to (for lack of a better word) “trick” those around him into believing he is heroic, he is chivalrous, he is kind, he is gracious, because he cannot attribute those qualities to his own self. which is wild because wyll IS heroic, chivalrous, kind, gracious, & all of these good qualities, he’s inarguably a very gentle & sweet man. i think that’s part of what “duplicitous” means here, but i feel the real core of it is something way harder to get his hands around than a lack of self esteem

to me, any time i run into a character that feels underwritten or nebulous it becomes an opportunity to consider them as a character who is ignorant of their own motivations. with the prior paragraph of needing to fill that void with other’s approvals to try & manufacture self worth, i think that’s what he’s doing & simultaneously is 100% unaware that he’s doing it on any conscious level. but take all that a step further into an evil wyll playthrough, the void of self worth is still present & he still is unaware he is trying to fill that hole, but leaning harder into his pact it becomes not only trying to fill that void with approval (to become the blade of frontiers) but with power. if he’s aware of trying to glean self worth from others’ love, it’s only on a subconscious level & therefore completely obscuring the real darkness of an evil run of that self worth manifesting as power - denied from his exile, arguably hunted for in his making a pact at all. a simultaneous “people will adore me” and “the people Will adore me.” acknowledging that At All however would completely fly in the face of the cover of wanting approval for approval’s sake, & in the same way he can’t bear to speak of himself as the blade i feel he certainly couldn’t bear to speak of himself as any kind of egomaniac, or anything Genuinely negative that would make him have to look at himself

and ultimately that’s what’s really interesting to me about my character interpretation of what we have of wyll, this subconscious damnation of the self for what amounts to extremely normal human things to want. everybody wants to be loved, everybody wants security. it’s not bad to do good deeds because they make you feel good, it’s not bad to enjoy praise & a pat on the back for a job well done. designwise if the eyes are the window to the soul & one has been clawed out and replaced with stone - outside of other people no longer being able to “see” the full picture of the bearer (lacking that window), what would a stone make of that self. i think if a stone could speak or think, it would be very black and white, rigid, and demanding of itself to be cold calculating perfect stone.

sloppy as always but still, much to think about

[ryttu3k]

Having some Thoughts about Astarion and his perceived intelligence, or lack thereof (it was largely in the tags of this post, which I absolutely recommend reading, but it was getting overly long).

Astarion is perceived as… not very bright. Like it's kind of a running joke in fandom at this point, and it's been bugging me for a bit, so…

INT 13 isn't actually low

INT 13 is actually a fair bit above average! Of the main six Origin characters, only Gale has a higher INT score at 17, which is what you'd expect from a wizard and Actual Nerd (complimentary). Wyll has INT 13 as well, Lae'zel and Shadowheart have the average score of INT 10, and Karlach has INT 8. Of the secondary companions, Halsin and Minthara also have INT 10, and Minsc and - interestingly - Jaheira both have INT 8.

So, far from being one of the dumbest companions, stats-wise, he's actually one of the most intelligent.

Poor planning skills aren't a reflection of intelligence

Yes, Astarion is notoriously terrible at coming up with long-term plans. You know what he also hasn't been able to do for two hundred years? Come up with long-term plans.

He spent about forty years living a normal life, then five times that duration as a slave, being punished for any show of thinking for himself. He tried to make a plan that went against his master's orders, and he spent a year buried alive for it. His only purpose was "to seduce anything with a pulse"; thinking outside of that wasn't just discouraged, it was punished. He's out of practice!

Also, there are a lot of incredibly intelligent people who can't make plans for Assorted Reasons, even without two hundred years of being a puppet to someone else's will. Dyspraxia, ADHD, all sorts of things.

The whole smooth brain thing

This one does bug me, but I also suspect it was a nod to fandom perception. The epilogue has Bing-Bong in it, there were at least parts written well after the game release, and the subsequent fandom response. It's entirely possible, if not likely, that parts of the writing were influenced by fandom perception.

He had low INT in early access

Yes, and they changed it, and he no longer does. Wyll was essentially rewritten between EA and now. Karlach wasn't even a main character in EA. The Dream Visitor was extremely different in EA! Astarion was below average intelligence in EA, and now he's above average ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Neil Newbon says Astarion is intelligent

"I see him as being very intelligent — very erudite — and highly manipulative when he wants to be."

From this interview. I figure he'd know better than anyone save Stephen Rooney, y'know?

The trauma

I mean we can't understate the trauma. The trauma would do a number on your cognitive abilities (and your everything else lbr). And on top of two centuries of going through The Horrors, Cazador repeatedly belittled and infantilised him, hard not to internalise that when Cazador had complete control over his entire existence.

This isn't really meant to be an essay or aimed at anyone in particular and also quite possibly my 'burnt-out gifted kid who valued their intelligence above everything else' is showing but that may be more a Gale thing! Just that the whole 'lmao Astarion is so dumb' trope was bugging me for this, that, and the other reason, so. A post.

[waterdeep-weavemoss]

I just read your 'Dark Gale'/Just Gale analysis and wanted to say I heartily agree. I have profoundly enjoyed a lot of fanfiction about Gale but I have felt a good portion are missing that darkness. I think somewhat ironically, people are inclined to believe what Gale says about himself as fact when he contradicts his words with his actions constantly. I personally think he refuses to acknowledge that part of himself because it contradicts how he views himself. I think he wants to be viewed as Wyll is viewed. But his own motivations counter that. Love to hear your thoughts, and do you have any recommendations of fics that incorporate more of the darkness. Also obligatory, I love love Gale such that I think all aspects of him should be considered when your character romances him.

Hey anon, thank you so much! It’s so sweet that people like you are engaging with my silly little metas. 😊

I totally agree that people go with what he says and not what he does; I adore him so much, and part of that is because he can be a little mean and sulky sometimes. It’s very human of him. His arrogance is super compelling because while it is earned (being a former archmage) it’s also a mask! He has so much bravado because he just doesn’t believe he’s enough as he is at all. I just went through his act 3 scene in the astral plane last night and my heart went out to him so much. He thinks the only way he can be of value is to be more than human, and that makes him do incredibly questionable things. It struck me how aware he is about the pitfalls of godhood- the lack of feeling, the lack of care, their innate apathy- and yet still in the same breath he desires to be one of them. God!Gale is such a different beast from the mortal man. He has none of the warmth in his eyes, his voice is more impersonal even, his skin is silver. He dehumanises himself completely, and in a completely different way to, say, Ascended Astarion.

God!Gale isn’t evil. He’s just self absorbed and treats Tav kind of like a plaything almost, exactly like Mystra did with him. It’s taken as a given that Tav will be his chosen (in my case, that playthrough he was Tav’s ex and she went with Halsin instead) and that she just couldn’t understand or comprehend what was going on. He’s aloof and cold.

Gale’s deeply insecure, but over the course of his romance you can insist that you just want him how he is, and he says he can live without godly powers, because Tav is everything to him, and he sees that ambition isn’t worth losing that… but it takes so much. Left to his own devices he would ascend and he wouldn’t have enough humanity left to regret it. It takes someone grounding him and validating him to talk him down from it.

I think ultimately his less than savoury actions are born of the abuse he endured from Mystra, never being able to measure up to a literal goddess, desperate to be more than that. He has selfish intentions for sure, but in his heart he’s crying out to be loved and just seen by someone who will understand him as the human man he is, not the god his ambitions push him to be.

In terms of Dark!Gale fics, if I may, my masterlist is here. The first two, Permeate and Possession, are probably closest to that darkness, though I am planning to write more and please do send a request if you have any for me!

I’d also like to open things up to my lovely mutuals: please reblog this with your own fic recs for anon, because in truth I’ve been here less than two weeks and have been writing more than reading!

Thank you my lovely! 💜

[slothquisitor]

Invisible String: Chapter Eight

A Baldur’s Gate III Modern AU.

Chapter Summary:

In which Astarion hurts his own feelings, and he and Liv have an important conversation. CW: Discussions of past abuse.

Read from the beginning.

Read on AO3.

Petras sleeps until almost noon. Vampires don’t need nearly as much sleep as mortals, so the fact he’s resting this long tells Astarion that things really had been bad wherever he was. He doesn’t exactly feel bad for Petras, but he does….understand. He wishes he didn’t. He wishes Wyll hadn’t asked him to do this, to stare his past so plainly in the face. 

He’s not worried about Petras being a danger to himself or anyone else. Not really, but still, he keeps some measure of watch over him anyway. 

Liv had been exceptionally understanding about the whole thing. And he’s grateful, even as he knows he’s made a rather grave error with her. He’d kissed her. It hadn’t really meant anything, it was simply a means of distraction. But she just wants to pretend it never happened, as if he could be so forgettable! And why should they forget the whole thing? Kissing her had felt nice enough. She’d seemed to enjoy it too, and well, he can’t remember the last time he’d just kissed someone and it hadn’t gone further. 

This is the part of his life that’s so tricky to navigate these days. He’s free, has been for two glorious years, but in some ways, he hasn’t ever left his old life. He’d paid for blood with sex for a very, very long time, either for himself or for Cazador. Being unwilling had only gotten him beaten or starved, Cazador used both rather ruthlessly. Sex wasn’t about pleasure or enjoyment…it was a transaction, a performance, a necessity until it was so divorced from his wants that his body didn’t feel like his anymore. 

The insidious bit of it all was that Cazador had made every boundary crossed, every limit pushed feel like it had been his choice all along. Afterward, when the guilt and shame kicked in, it was only ever his own damn fault. Cazador loved to point out how deviant trading sex for blood was, so quick to tell him that no one outside his club would ever understand, could ever let that little fact about him go. And even though he hadn’t wanted to so much of the time, he hadn’t realized that feeling as though he couldn’t say no also meant he couldn’t say yes. Even two years free and he can’t quite break out of the habits and spirals created in that damn club. 

He’s gone out with people, of course. There never seems to be a lack of interested parties. But it’s his interest that forever seems to be the problem. Though in fairness, he’s never bothered spending a lot of time getting to know anyone. Perhaps that’s what made things with Liv different. They’re…friends. He knows her, and she knows him or the parts of him he’s allowed her to see anyway. Perhaps that’s why it hadn’t felt terrible when she touched him. 

And she just wants to forget it? It’s utterly unfair. What he needs to do is figure out how Liv really felt about the whole kiss before he had to run out the door to retrieve Petras. What changed in the time they were kissing and the handful of hours before he’d returned home? 

“I can’t sleep if you’re going to sigh to yourself every five seconds,” Petras says. Or more specifically the pillow-shaped mound that is Petras says. 

“I am not sighing,” Astarion protests.

“You’re right. It’s more like huffing.”

“We don’t even need to breathe.”

“And yet,” Petras flicks a hand in his direction.

“You should get up anyway. It’s nearly noon.”

“And?”

“And we have things to do today.”

Petras sits up, his hair a wild tangle, but he does look a bit better than last night. “What major plans could you possibly have for us with the sun shining?”

“You need necessities like clothes and whatever you use to make your hair look better than it does right now,” Astarion replies. 

Petras laughs. “I don’t have any money. I figured it would just be like the old days and I’d steal all your good shit.”

Astarion pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s what I’m trying to avoid. Now get over here, did Alkham allow you to have access to the wonders of same-day delivery?”

“No, just like Cazador, he didn’t allow us tech.” 

It doesn’t mean that Petras doesn’t know how to use it though. Astarion had gotten very creative in his years under Cazador, and also very good at guessing the phone passwords of clients while they were sleeping. For a long time, the whole wider world was only the glimpses he could steal from a stranger’s phone screen. He navigates to the local store’s website and then hands his laptop over to Petras. 

“Buy what you need, and I’ll work on getting you a phone.” 

Petras stares at him. “You’re being nice.”

“No, I’m being practical. There’s a difference,” Astarion replies as he begins searching for prepaid phones and which stores he knows will deliver here. 

“Liv is nice too,” Petras says. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can tell that Petras isn’t looking at the computer at all, instead, he looks rather lost. He saves them both the indignity of meeting his gaze and keeps staring at his phone. “That does appear to be her default setting, yes. What’s the problem? You’re here freeloading off of me and complaining about it?”

“When Wyll told me he was calling you, I hadn’t realized you’d really gotten out. I thought you were like the rest of us. Just jumped from one bad club to another. I asked him what the difference was, and he said it was that you had help. That you weren’t alone. He did this for you, didn’t he?”

The simple answer is yes. Wyll had taken him in, supported him, and gotten him help through various organizations. And he’d needed the help rather badly. The world had seemed so overwhelming to him then, and he hadn’t accepted any of the help with gratitude or grace. He wasn’t alone in that. At the group therapy class Karlach had dragged him to, and Wyll had all but mandated he attend, he’d discovered that suffering doesn’t save anyone. It certainly doesn’t make them kind or good. The only impulse he’d escaped years of abuse with was to avoid being under the power of anyone else ever again. It had only been Wyll’s goodness and Karlach’s patience and Shadowheart’s persistent kindness that had dug him out of that particular endless pit of bitterness. 

He won’t tell Petras any of this; he doesn’t owe him that explanation. “Yes. He wasn’t an asshole about it either. Which I’m realizing now was probably a lot harder than it seemed.”

“I don’t want to go back,” Petras says. “I just want to be free.”

Astarion knows that feeling well. “Well, you’re free now, and as long as you continue not being the worst, I probably won’t turn you out.”

“Your generosity knows no bounds.”

“I know. I’ve even got a lead on a job for you. It’s an old gig of mine. Both of our resumes are a bit lacking in practical skills, but I’ve got a friend who works at the Elfsong, and they always need someone to babysit the VIPs.”

Petras' eyes look rather dead. “And what does that entail?”

“A lot of smiling and agreeing and making sure they always have drinks. The Elfsong isn’t like…that. Besides, it’s just until you figure out something else.”

“That…doesn’t sound that bad, actually.”

“Good.” Because the organization Astarion gets to hand Petras off to has a requirement that Petras have a job first, so that had been his first concern. 

Petras puts in an order, and an hour and a half later he has a small collection of things to call his own, including his own clothes because Astarion wasn’t about to let Petras loose in his closet. He goes to shower, and Astarion remains in the living room sitting in a chair and watching the sun filtering in through the curtains. He wants to talk to Liv and types out an entire text before abandoning it and jumping over to the Weave instead. He’s willing to admit this truth, but perhaps not entirely. 

FangtasticLover: Have you ever looked at someone and realized that you’re looking at your past self?

Books>People: No, but I think that’s how my sister sees me. Why?

FangtasticLover: Just ran into someone I used to know, and I don’t know that I like what I see of my past in them. 

Books>People: But isn’t that a testament to your own growth more than anything?  

FangtasticLover: I suppose you’re probably right. 

Books>People: I usually am. 

And just like he knew she would, Liv somehow knows the exact right thing to say. He is miles away from what Petras is now. And it still rankles a bit acknowledging that, but there’s a bit of pride there too…in just how far he’s come. And he absolutely shouldn’t, but he can’t resist trying to get Liv to talk about the kiss. He wants to know what she really thought of it if it really meant so little to her. But he’s not sure how to ask about it without giving himself away. So he can only hope she’ll mention it herself if he presses a bit about how she’s doing. 

FangtasticLover: I haven’t asked about your roommate in a while. You’re not still fighting are you?

Books>People: Definitely not fighting. Actually, I sort of need some advice on that front, but I don’t feel like I can tell anyone else because I don’t want to violate his privacy…

Here it is. Gods, it’s almost too easy to get her to tell him things. 

FangtasticLover: Happy to provide advice. After all, what else are pocket comrades for?

Books>People: I’ve discovered a secret my roommate is keeping. And it feels dishonest to not say something as it’s a pretty big deal, but at the same time, I don’t want to force him into talking about it if he doesn’t want to. Does that make sense?

Astarion feels as though a bucket of ice water has been dumped over him. She knows? About what exactly…clearly not the app she wouldn’t be doing this about the app…would she? 

FangtasticLover: I guess that depends on what exactly you’ve learned. 

Books>People: Well, he’s a vampire apparently. Which is fine! I don’t care. I just wish he’d told me, you know? 

Well, shit. How long has she known? 

FangtasticLover: Well, that’s quite the revelation. And it’s really fine with you? You really don’t care?

Books>People: Of course it’s fine. It’s just part of who he is. I admit that it shocked me a little when I realized it last night, but he’s still him. I know that there’s plenty of rumor and prejudice out there, so maybe that’s why he didn’t tell me. But I trust him…and maybe it seems like that doesn’t go both ways? I don’t know. All of this is further complicated by the fact he brought home another vampire who is currently crashing on our couch for an undetermined amount of time.

Was that what had changed? She had kissed him, realized what he was and decided she didn’t want him? Well…that’s…usually the opposite of how that works. There’s a sort of sinking feeling in his chest, but he doesn’t dare name it. Instead, he keeps messaging, very much against his better judgment. 

FangtasticLover: So you’re currently living with not one but two vampires? 

Books>People: Apparently? The second one is temporary. Probably. But what do you think I should do? I don’t like feeling like I’m lying to him, but I also don’t want him to feel as though he has to tell me anything he doesn’t want to. 

And now that he knows her, he knows he should have just been honest from the beginning. He wouldn’t have had to tell her everything, wouldn’t have had to explain, but now he knows he’ll have to. Because he wants her to understand why he didn’t tell her. And it feels wrong to be asked about this, to provide advice on something so deeply entwined with him. It doesn’t stop him from replying. 

FangtasticLover: I’d give him a chance to tell you. Maybe he has a good reason for not sharing. 

Books>People: I’m sure he does. I’ll keep it to myself.

He’ll need to tell her soon then. Sit her down, make a big deal of the whole thing. Act surprised when she inevitably tells the truth about already knowing. It’ll be a relief to be out in the open about that at least. Still, some part of him is disappointed…as though he’s read the last pages of a really good book and spoiled the ending for himself. 

***

True to Astarion’s word, Petras is a constant, but mostly unobtrusive presence in the apartment. Both he and Astarion seem thrilled when she arrives home from work, no doubt glad to be passing the time with someone other than each other. But there’s something amusing about being met at the door and immediately inundated with demands for attention from them both. Petras slots into her and Astarion’s established routines rather easily, joining them for games and evenings watching Crown of Shadows, only half paying attention as he scrolls enthusiastically on his new smartphone almost as if he’s never had one of his own before. 

But on Thursday evening, Astarion texts her and asks if it’s alright if he goes into the office for the evening. She knows what he’s really asking is if she’s comfortable being home alone with Petras, and she’s unbothered. So that evening after dinner, she invites Petras to join her in watching her favorite baking show. 

He seems strangely fascinated by the whole thing, particularly interested in the different baking techniques and adding his own nonsensical commentary to the judging of each. 

“You know, we could try making something from the show this weekend if you want,” Liv offers. 

Petras looks genuinely excited at the fact before reigning it in. “I don’t….I don’t really eat sweets.”

Right…vampire. She has so many questions about that. She’s seen Astarion eat, and now understands why he didn’t seem to enjoy it or ever have any opinion on where she ordered them food from. So can they eat and just choose not to? The internet had been no help in that regard, insisting that they only drink blood when she’s definitely witnessed otherwise. 

“No worries, if you change your mind though, it could be fun,” she says. Some part of her, probably the part most like her mother keeps moving into hostess mode with Petras. Concerned with his comfort, and wanting him to enjoy his time in their apartment despite the fact that Astarion has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t necessarily want Petras here a moment longer than he needs to be. 

“I’m a little surprised Astarion has a roommate whose idea of fun is baking. How did you meet him anyway?” Petras asks. 

“Astarion didn’t tell you?”

Petras shrugs. “He’s a bit tight-lipped when it comes to you and pretty much everything else in his life.”

Well, that’s very much true. “We were introduced through mutual friends. I was looking for a place, and he had an extra room. I didn’t actually meet him until I moved in.”

“Wow, that uh…must have been something.”

Liv laughs. “Yeah, well, I was sort of desperate. I thought he didn’t like me for the first few days, actually.”

“He doesn’t exactly make it easy.”

And she knows they’re not talking about her anymore. The words are said with a laugh, a conspiratorial wink thrown in her direction, but there’s an undercurrent of something there. “Has he always been prickly?” 

She keeps the question vague, sure that asking anything deeper than that is likely to result in a side-step or a change in topic. Whatever else is happening here, she knows Petras has likely been instructed to keep Astarion’s secrets and she doesn’t want to unravel whatever promises Petras has made. 

He considers her question, tapping his chin dramatically. “Prickly is a nice word for arrogant asshole.”

“And yet despite all that…he’s still helping you.” 

Petras sighs. “Wyll said he would. I didn’t believe him, and now I sleep on his couch and have my first shift at the Elfsong tomorrow night.”

“You excited?”

Petras shrugs. “Sure. It will be nice to do something for myself and Astarion says Karlach and I will get on like a house fire. Whatever that means.”

“I haven’t met Karlach, but everything I’ve been told makes me believe she gets on well with everyone.”

“That’s good,” Petras says, glancing away. “I just…I…don’t really have any schooling or qualifications or anything. I feel like I’m supposed to have dreams or goals or something, but everything just feels out of reach.”

She wants to ask him more, but she knows this sliver of vulnerability is all he’ll be able to offer her without revealing his and Astarion’s secret. “I’m sure it feels that way right now, but give it some time. You don’t have to figure it all out in a day. Work this job, get on your feet, and then you’ll figure out the rest.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s not, but it is possible to start over.” She’d know. 

Petras lets out a sad laugh. “I’m not entirely sure about that.”

They don’t talk about it again, and the next evening Petras heads out the door just after sunset with a cheerful goodbye, leaving Liv and Astarion alone in their apartment for the first time in days. As usual, Astarion is mostly absent while she cooks and eats dinner, only reappearing once she’s begun cleaning up. 

“Could we…I was hoping we could talk?” Astarion says, gesturing towards the living room. He looks a little nervous and keeps adjusting the hem of his black cashmere sweater.

She turns the sink off and dries her hands. “Alright.” 

He’s standing somewhat awkwardly next to the couch but offers her a strained smile as she approaches and he gestures to the other end. She takes a seat and waits. Is this it? The moment where he comes clean? Or is he going to broach the subject of that kiss again? Some part of her can’t shake that just days ago they were kissing on this very couch. She feels her cheeks warm, but she tries to punch down the feeling. 

“I think there’s something I should tell you,” he says. “Nothing big or terrible! Just a small little detail about me that hasn’t come up naturally.”

Ah, here it is. Liv does her best to keep her expression unchanged, but there’s a little thrill in her chest. He trusts her. 

“It’s just that I happen to be uh…well…a vampire.” He rushes the last words, tacks on a slight laugh that seems more nerves than any real humor. There's a practiced air to it, as though he'd rehearsed this whole thing. “Petras too,” he adds, belatedly. 

The lack of surprise must show on her face because he sighs. “And you already knew. Did Petras say something?”

Liv puts her hands up. “No, no, nothing like that. I just…I put the pieces together a few days ago. I didn’t…I didn’t want to force you to talk to me about it though. I’m sorry.”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, what gave it away? I thought I was being quite thoroughly mortal.”

“Do you want the list alphabetically or chronologically?” 

He glares at her. 

“You can probably stop buying groceries you don’t use…”

“Oh yes, that will be nice. Well, good talk.” He stands to go, clearly frustrated. 

She grabs his hand. “Come on, don’t go. I have a million questions.”

He looks down at her in surprise, and then at her hand on his. She pulls her hand back, feeling her face warm. But he does sit back down. 

“I won’t answer a million questions, but I will answer a few,” he says, words careful. 

“What do you eat? I’ve seen you eat food, but I assume that there is also…you know.”

His eyebrows raise. “Blood? Yes, of course. I have a freezer hidden in my closet. Speaking of, can I move my blood back into the kitchen now? Free up some closet space?”

A freezer in his closet? What in the hells? “You want to put humanoid blood next to the pizza rolls?”

“Of course not. I want to put animal blood next to the pizza rolls. Those things are absolutely vile by the way. I can eat food, it just…tastes like ash.”

“So you don’t drink humanoid blood?”

He shrugs. “It’s not exactly easy to come by. What do you know of vampires? I’m not talking about the folklore and the scary stories, but how they live in a city like Baldur’s Gate.”

“They tend to live in covens, right? Night clubs are popular - pay your way with blood.”

“Have you ever been to one?” he asks. All the joking is gone, his crimson gaze is steady, somber. 

“No. Shockingly, the club scene wasn’t really my thing.”

He smiles slightly at that, but it falls away into a grimace. “I was at death’s door when Cazador turned me. Offered me eternal life while I was bleeding out in the street - a mugging where I didn’t have the good sense to hand over my money and keep my mouth shut.

“I was angry and afraid to die. That was a long time ago, things were different then, but being a vampire was still half a life. Not quite alive, not entirely dead, and entirely dependent on the blood of others to survive. Back then we had to survive in secret, but Cazador had money and connections and I had nothing and no one.”

Oh. So this isn’t really about him being a vampire, but whatever else it means. Whatever else is connected to it. She doesn’t know quite what to say, so she just lets him keep talking. 

“Eventually, he opened the club. It sounded like a sort of paradise. Endless partying, willing people coming in begging to be bitten. A little bit of danger and the forbidden for a bit of blood. After all, what’s more desirable than a vampire? But Cazador was greedy, and people wanted more than booze and a moment with my mouth at their neck. It happened slowly…pushing my limits until suddenly it was the norm and I was trading sex for blood. For him, for me…and if I didn’t acquiesce…well…” He trails off then, letting her fill in the blanks.  

“Do you know what the worst part was? I could have left at any time. But that was the danger of Cazador…of men like him. They make you believe that what they’re offering is the best you’ll ever have. That there’s nothing else outside of what they offer.”

No wonder he didn’t want to tell her this. Everything about this breaks her heart. It also fills in so many of the questions she’s had about him and his past. “Where is he now?”

“Rotting in prison. My friend Wyll, he was the social worker who came in to talk to us after we got pulled out. He took me home and helped me figure out how to live a life outside that club.”

The pieces slide together. “And that’s how you know Petras.”

He sighs. “Unfortunately.” 

“I’m so sorry, Astarion.”

He grimaces. “I don’t want your pity. I didn’t tell you all of this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I didn’t even really want to tell you at all. I don’t like…being thought of like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like a victim! Like someone who believed the lies of someone so terrible and didn’t simply walk out the front door!” He’s retreated inside of himself, his eyes hard, his shoulders tight. 

She knows she needs to say the right thing here, so she begins, words careful. “It’s not pity, Astarion. You are my friend, and it makes me upset that you went through that because no one should have their trust and boundaries violated in that way. I don’t think any person is defined by what other people have done to them. When I look at you, all I see is you . And now I just feel like I have a fuller picture of what that means, and I’m grateful that you shared it with me.”

His eyes widen, but there is still a hint of suspicion in them. “You’re not upset I didn’t tell you from the beginning?”

Not at all. “You don’t owe me or anyone else explanations about your past.” Especially when they’re rooted so deeply in trauma and violence. 

They sit in the silence of that statement for a moment. He fumbles a little with a series of beginnings. “I…thank you. I appreciate that. The world isn’t often an understanding place.”

She looks at him then, her roommate, her friend. She sees the whole of him now and understands his obfuscations and why he felt like he needed them. “No, but people might surprise you.” 

“Well, you’re certainly full of surprises, anyway,” he says, offering her a faint smile.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hello! I keep browsing the tavstarion tag and asks from you blog keep coming up, and every time they do I enjoy the hells out of reading them. All the Astarion asks got me thinking though, and as I'm in the process of writing a fic, I figured I'd ask your thoughts (out of curiosity).

First thing's first: I understand Astarion's trauma responses are very... prickly, for lack of a better word. My question is how you think he would deal with a Tav who has a very people-pleasing response. For example, focusing entirely on anyone else's problems and completely neglecting their own, or only being able to say "no" when in such acute distress that they physically cannot give any more.

The second part (because I am guessing his response, based on how he's reacted in-game and also from reading your analyses) is how he might react to learning that that people-pleasing response is because of trauma they went through, either in their teens or young adulthood. How might that recontextualize some of his earlier assumptions? Do you think he would have any mixed feelings?

I wanted to write a Tav that's internal and solitary, who thinks they're "over" the trauma that happened to them. I thought the dynamic of someone who's been coping for years and has distance in comparison to Astarion who literally only just got out of his situation was interesting.

Hiya dear!

I'm happy you like the asks, haha, although I must admit hearing that they're very noticeable amongst the Tavstarion things is making me self conscious! 🫠

When it comes to people pleasing - or fawning, as it's also called - I think we can all sort of guess how Astarion would react. The boy isn't secretive about his displeasure regarding all things "noble" and I'm sure that, at first, the respect he holds for your Tav will be very low.

The thing is: When we see someone whose initial response is to fawn, we don't automatically default to trauma. Most people are far more likely to just view them as a really good and kind person or, especially in work settings, as a suck up. It takes time to realise that, hey, maybe Jeff from accounting actually just can't say no.

I don't think it will be different with Astarion. (In fact, out of all the companions, Wyll might actually be the most likely to notice that your Tav is having a hard time saying no.)

Depending on your Tav's general attitude, Astarion might default them to yet another kind hearted do-gooder that runs around the world with childish naïveté and that? That is a sitting duck.

To act 1 Astarion, kindness relates to weakness.

And weakness is something he can exploit easily.

As we all know, Astarion craves safety, which is why he latches onto Tav to begin with. And if Tav's someone who others listen to AND who seems easy to manipulate? Fuck yeah. That's an in if he's ever seen one.

If Tav is prone to saying yes to anything and prone to avoiding conflict, he won't even need to do much to get them to do his bidding. The right words, some puppy dog eyes and a hint at what he wants done, and they'll go and do it without protest. Add a couple of compliments, and he'll have them wrapped around his finger. That is exactly what he needs to be safe, and he'll not be shy of making use of it.

And I think it would be somewhat amusing to him, to see Tav try that hard to make everyone happy because he, quite plainly, doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why someone would care that much about others because to him, his own survival and happiness is what matters the most. Everyone else be damned if necessary.

(Just a tad bit presumptuous, seeing as he himself tends to salute and follow orders at the cost of his own personal boundaries if the person he deems the leader demands it - i.e. the Araj Oblodra bite - but let's let the poor guy have his delusions.)

Once he grows closer to Tav, his former amusement will likely quickly turn to frustration. In Act 3, we learn that Astarion is extremely loyal and, apparently, rather protective.

Part of why he insists on ascending for so long is not just for him - he wants to be able to protect Tav, and he thinks his spawn self is not enough to accomplish that. (This is highlighted by the fact that romanced Astarion is much more insistent on ascending than one you're only friendly with.)

Tav is important to him. They're his person and watching them bend over backwards for everybody and their mothers prostitute before thinking of themselves is probably not going to sit well with him.

He doesn't care about other people, but he cares about them, so he wants them taken care of.

BUT Astarion is not versed in the art of caring for others, not the best at communicating - he's trying, we can see that over the course of the game, but it'a process that takes time - and he is very prone to frustration, so I wouldn't be surprised to see his worry mostly expressed through sniding remarks, sarcasm and arguments.

Once he realises WHY Tav is the way they are...well, that is a bit difficult to pinpoint down, because it has a lot to do with his own mental state at the time. How he views himself and his trauma will reflect on how he views them.

An act 1 Astarion who is still very raw, very afraid and very much in pain might be somewhat disgusted and deny the very obvious similarities between the two of them.

Tav was hurt. People had hurt them and yet they're still trying to appease everyone. They're always doing whatever anyone asks of them without hesistation, even when they clearly shouldn't. How much of a pushover can one person be? Don't they have any self respect? It's pathetic.

It sounds cruel - it is cruel - but, in th end, he's not truly talking to Tav here. He probably sees part of himself, the part that jumped when Cazador said so, the part that listened to every order just so that he wouldn't have to suffer. He sees the part of him that grovelled, the part that gave up.

The part he hates the most.

(Fun fact: My least favourite state of healing to work with, because clients can actually be really difficult during that time.)

A more stable Astarion, however, could actually reevaluate a lot of Tavs behaviour. He might see them less as a naive child and more for what they are: Someone, who's trying to live.

They don't want to get hurt again, so they try to not offend anyone. They'd rather be stressed and tired and overworked than suffering again. They're not uselessly kind, they're not stupidly selfless - they're scared.

What he does with his body, they do with acts of service. They're protecting themselves in the only way they know how.

That realisation could somewhat mellow him and, most prominently, it can give him a sense of community.

It's a bit difficult to explain, but people who have experienced abuse and are now in the process of healing might start to experience a sense of community with those who had similar fates. Not in the sense of: "Let me bare my soul and dump my trauma onto you now - so when I was 12, my dad..." but in a very specific, comfortable way.

It creates a sense of understanding, if you will.

It means that the other person understands, even when you don't say anything. You don't need to fight; to explain yourself - they understand. They might not understand all of you, but they understand enough not to let it cloud their judgement. You'll be alright and they understand.

So Astarion won't need to tell Tav every little thing, he won't need to explain every reaction, every misbehaviour, every slip up. He won't need to fight for his right to be quiet, sad, angry or sulky.

He won't need to explain because even if he doesn't, they'll know that he has his reasons, and they'll be there when he's ready to talk.

Anyway! Those two options are really just a few of all the reactions he could potentially have, because, as I said, it's so hugely dependant on where he is mentally and how he views Tav, himself, his past, etc... It's really difficult to narrow down properly.

The dynamic you have chosen is really, really bursting with potential - both for drama and healing - and I hope it's as fun and rewarding to write as I imagine! ✨️

[mybg3notebook]

I know you have not uploaded in several years and might not even see this, but I wanted to say thank you SO much for your amazing explorations of Gale. He is a very complex and often misunderstood character and I think your meta posts on him hit the mark perfectly. If the spark arises I hope you will return after the full release :) Thank you again for all your wonderful posts! Have a nice day!

Hello!

Thank you very much. I am still around, it's simply work and other games have got my attention, and after playing EA so many times, I am already burnt out to the bones. I am also deeply disappointed with Larian's latest changes.

Hopefully, after release, I will continue with more analysis if the game is worthy of that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how well these analysis of Gale will hold with the apparent rewrite of his character. If the new description of him ends up being true and it's not a terrible lie to the player, since nothing of that was shown or hinted in EA, these analysis will fall apart. In fact, if he ends up being another boring, overused, cliche wizard who wants power because he wants to be the biggest wizard of Toril :rolling eyes:.... I may lose any interest in him. All what made him interesting and a bit "original" within the context of Forgotten Realms has been erased completely with that new description.

I'm also disappointed with Larian in general, because it's obvious their two fave chars are forced through the player's throat like Liara was in Bioware's case. You don't care about them? It doesn't matter, they will always take priority in conversation and scenes, they will be key in showing another side of the main plot (as it was Fane in DOS2) and the rest of the companions become secondary or forgettable.

And Karlach's final face is a horror. It's a variation of Shadowheart's face, a barby-Karlach, because clearly Larian feeds bro gamers who want yet another doll-faced woman. I find annoying that nobody complained for this change: her first potential face (not the placeholder), with half face burnt and scarred, hard eyes, and a longer and pronounced nose, was the face of a warrior who went to hell and back... now you have the baby-doll face, Red!Shadowheart, almost, lol. It's a bit unsettling. It reminds me when Larian made their big-boobs lizard women in DOS1.

At least they did what I thought it was a must: to truly write Wyll, because that char was inconsistent, lacked of depth in comparison with the rest of the other companions, and was, basically, a future Beast (dos2) in BG3. That's why I didn't even bother to write a general overall analysis of his character. I suspected he had to be written at some point because it's was a cardboard character in there, just there to be your black char token. You know, the black char we add to a game so we look "progressive" but still has bad development as a char or it's simply shallow when compared with the depth of the other chars. Pretty much like Larian does with their lgbt representation too.

Larian's lgbt representation also bothers me. It is mostly hidden in books and lines of text in this world (yes, yes, Astarion is the only char shown and written lgbt openly, but the rest of the world has no lgbt integrated chars, or the few two couples we saw in EA are unhealthy and horrible-the gnome lesbian-or absolutely hidden in one single line that, if you miss it, you can confuse them as brothers -the husband gnomes-). We can have a long discussion about how Larian does playersexual characters that are not any representation of lgbt, because they are not written like bi but hetero, and their "bisexuality" only appears when you romance them (and this was done in DOS2 too, with barely a line or two hidden in Lohse's origin to show some potential, little bi inclination). It's so strong how they write their characters as hetero, that even in several parts of the romances of DOS2 you have descriptions where it shows that the default was clearly "man tall and woman smaller", even when in DOS2 world that may not apply to some hetero couples (elves and lizards). But all this discussion about playersexuality is a long one I'm not even sure the fandom can have at this point. I wish to be wrong and see more lgbt characters naturally integrated to the world, and not reduced to short stories in books or to whom you romance with your Tav. But I doubt it. Larian follows the masses. And Masses care nothing about this. Thank you for the ask, and have a nice day too!

[hard-boiled-criminal]

Social Anxiety Really Ruins the Isekai Experience

Previously known as: Brimstone from the Throat

Chapter 5 - Why You Shouldn't Plague Your Patron With Your Earthling Pickup Lines

< Ch 4 | Ch 6 >

>Ch 1<

Masterlist

Ao3 Mirror

I think this is fun, so here’s a link to a youtube playlist of the music I listened to while writing this chapter: BftT - ch5 

If you want, you can think of these as the songs our isekai protagonist attempts to play.

Also, it’s time to play spot the reference~ If you spot any, congrats, you win bragging rights.

Also fuck tenses. Present and past tense are getting jumbled.

The three of you head back up the stairs to the tiefling’s area as the grove, for lack of better terms to call it, new lute in hand. You pass by the young tiefling girl, safely reunited with her parents who smile at your group as you approach. 

Gale stops in front of them and asks them for a bit more information on the gnolls after they thank your group for helping their daughter.

At the top of the staircase stands the rest of the group. None look impatient, save for Lae’zel, so it’s probably safe to say they only met up here recently. The rest shuffle around a bit,   making room for the three of you to join the circle they’ve already made.

“Now that we’re all here,” Tav begins after everyone settled, “Let’s discuss what we’ve found.”

“Chk! There is no need,” Lae’zel states. “The tiefling-” she emphasized her correct pronunciation “-has marked on the map where they came across my kin. We must head there to find the crèche!”

“Lae’zel, I understand your eagerness to go, but we should still hear what everyone else has to say,” Tav tries to placate her. “There is also a chance they were a scout, so the crèche may not be in that direction. The more information we have on the surrounding area, the easier time we’ll have pinpointing its exact location.”

Lae’zel crosses her arms and scowls. “I am loath to admit it, but your words have sense in them. Very well. We shall do things your way.”

“All right,” Tav smiles and walks over to a nearby crate, the rest of you following. There she spreads open a map on the crate’s surface, an area to the far northwest circled in charcoal. “This-” she points to the circle “-is where Zorru spotted the githyanki. And here-” she points to an area south of the githyanki sighting “-and around here is where the adventurers were attacked by goblins and the First Druid, Halsin, was captured. It seems the reason the adventurers were headed that way in the first place was to find a treasure called the “Nightsong” that’s hidden in the temple located here. A wizard in Balder’s Gate is willing to pay a great sum to whoever retrieves it for them. What’s everyone else found out?”

“There’s a pack of gnolls also to the northeast, and their numbers seem to be quite substantial,” Gale states your group’s findings. “I think it’s safe to say there’s at least twenty of them last seen in this area,” he points to an area northwest of the grove, closer than where the githyanki was spotted. “We also heard a small bit about some ruins to the south that might be occupied, but we didn’t get a chance to ask exactly where that was.”

Wyll points to an area a short distance south of the grove. “That’s probably around here. We found out there have been sightings around here of multiple people unaffiliated with the grove, but we’re not sure how many. The ruins are where they are probably camping out. I want to investigate as soon as possible. I’m not comfortable having others so close to the grove without knowing if they’re hostile or not, especially when there’s a chance that devil could be there. There’s also a harpy nest near the beach you can reach by going north through the part of the grove the druids are currently occupying, but as long as we don’t approach, we should be fine.”

“We have three options then: northeast, east, and south,” Tav gestured to the three areas discussed on the map. “Where shall we head?”

“We head northeast to where the other of my kind was spotted. We need to head to the crèche for purification!” Lae’zel says, resolute in her decision.

Wyll shook his head. “That area is a day's walk from here, and there’s no guarantee they’re even still there. I’d like to check out the ruins south of here before anything else. It would be remiss of us if we were to go elsewhere while a potential threat lurks near the grove.”

“We should probably head to the temple sooner rather than later. The likelihood of the First Druid’s survival falls with each passing day, assuming they’re still alive,” Gale offers his opinion. “That temple is probably the goblins’ camp as well. Scouting parties are usually smaller than the one we fought at the gate, so there’s a good chance that group were something like perimeter guards of their camp.”

“I’m for the temple and goblin camp. Since we gave our word to rescue Halsin, along with the fact he may be able to cure us of our tadpoles, I think we should head there first. 

“Hmm, goblins and musty decrepit ruins aren’t all that appealing to me,” Astarion grimaces. “I’d rather take my chances with the gith.”

“I’d rather not,” Shadowheart scowls at the thought of agreeing with Lae’zel. “The ruins are nearby and might have something useful in them.”

It’s a three-way tie. Two votes for each option. Their gazes fall on the tiebreaker: you. 

You point to yourself, [Me? Really? The person with decision paralysis has to make the choice]? {Performance = 17, Success}.

“We’re at an impasse and you’re the only one left to vote,” Tav says. “So, where do you think we should go? Which reminds me, if you have anything else to add,” she reaches into her pack and pulls out a book and a charcoal pencil wrapped in cloth, “you can try to write them down to communicate.”

You take them gratefully and open the book to show nothing but blank pages: a notebook. The thought is sweet, even though you know writing things down won’t help. ‘I guess it’s up to me then.’ You look at the map and bring your hand to your mouth in thought. ‘If we were to go towards the githyanki, we’d also have to be prepared to fight through gnolls. If we don’t know the numbers of the people in the ruins, it could be dangerous, but there’s probably fewer than twenty if there’s only been minimal sightings… Since this is D&D, It’d probably be better to go there for exp to get strong enough to take on the larger amounts of enemies. Plus, it’s close to camp where we can rest if there’s more of them than expected and we have to rest.’ You quickly write down your reasonings for going to the southern ruins, minus the bit about exp, and show it to the others.

You already knew they wouldn’t be literate in your language, but watching their faces twist in confusion was a bit funny. Besides, even on the off chance someone recognized the letters of the English alphabet, your mix of cursive and print in handwriting shitty enough to confuse a native reader would throw them off any trails.

Gale’s expression untwists from confusion to one of realization. “Perhaps I had it the other way around. It’s not that you've lost the ability to speak Common, but that you’ve gained the ability to understand it.” His eyes flicker from your notes to you, full of intrigue.

[Exactly.] ‘Not like I even want to tell them the actual truth so let’s go with that.’

“These tadpoles are truly out of the ordinary. In a different circumstance they would make quite the interesting study.”

“Either way, none of us can read this, so can you point to where you decided on?” Tav asks, steering the conversation back on track.

You point to the southern ruins.

“It’s decided then. Let’s stock up and prepare, then head out.”

A huff of annoyance from Lae’zel was the only complaint from the group, relieving the pressure you felt of being stuck with the ultimate choice of where to go. Wyll volunteered to get more supplies, seeing as he was already acquainted with the traders in the grove. Tav, being in charge of inventory and distribution, went with him.

‘What am I supposed to do now?’ You thought as you watched the two of them leave, the rest of the party staying nearby, but not striking up conversation with each other. You look at your hands, one occupied with a book and pencil, the other a lute. ‘I should be able to fit the lute in my bag even if its neck is sticking out, right?’ You place down your things on the now map-less crate, followed by your bag. Your bag was empty save for your tent and bedroll, which luckily attached to the outside of the bag anyway. You carefully place your lute in the pack in a way that will allow the neck to stick out without preventing the bedroll from being attachable. Your notebook–or would it be more apt to call it a journal?- and pencil are stuffed into f your pants’ empty front pocket, just big enough to fit both items. 

‘Whoever designed these pants, I love you.’

“What, are you not going to pass the time with another one of your incredible tunes?”

You jump at the sudden voice and turn around to see Astarion, much closer than you were expecting. ‘Why is he so good at sneaking up on people?’

Narrowing your eyes in a pseudo-glare, you wrap your hand around the neck of your gifted lute. [Have you already forgotten the chord I played for you? I can make you suffer again. Don’t tempt me.] {Intimidation = 11, Success}.

“I was only joking, it’s not like I want to hear that horrid noise again,” he quickly backpedals. “But you must admit it’s strange that you carry around instruments and take every opportunity to not play them. With the way you avoid attention rather than attract it, it makes sense you can’t be a bard: you’d be awful at it.

Your gaze sharpens to a full glare. You make no movements. Just stare. ‘He’s doing this because he’s bored and wants a reaction out of you. Don’t give the bastard the satisfaction.’ You turn around and start affixing your bedroll to your pack. 

Disappointed at your lack of reaction, Astarion frowns with a quiet “hmph” and walks away.

You turn and watch him approach his next victim, who looks to be Gale, as you hoist your pack onto your shoulders. A single thought crosses your mind at the sight of his stupid back: ‘I wish I had tape so I could stick a note to his back that says “cuck me.”’

Wyll and Tav returned a few minutes later and passed out their spoils to the others. You receive two healing potions, which you store in an easily accessible area of your bag, and a torch.

“Here, you should change into this,” Tav hands you a set of padded armor, much like Wyll’s, except dyed blue instead of red. She also hands you a set of underclothes to wear under the armor to prevent chafing. 

[Cool. So, uh, where should I change]?

Donned in your newly acquired set of uncomfortable clothes and armor, you rejoin the rest of the group. Your notebook is stowed away in your pack and your phone is safely tucked away in your new pants’ pockets. 

“Everyone ready to head out?” Tav’s question receives affirmations from everyone and a nod from you. “Then let’s get moving.”

The wooden gate separating the grove from the outside world doesn’t budge right up until you’re close enough to touch it, and it closes as soon as the tiefling handling the winch confirms your entire group has left. Your group walks in mostly silence, with one or two quips here and there, everyone focused on keeping an eye out for any unwelcome travelers. It’s boring and you find yourself reaching for your phone multiple times right before you stop yourself each time.

‘Am I really that dependent on instant gratification? I really do just reach for my phone when I’m bored, don’t I?’ You remove your hands from your pockets and grasp the straps of your pack. Hopefully, keeping your hands even somewhat occupied will help prevent any slip-ups. ‘Just, think about something- anything- else. Like, that song you’ve been listening to a lot recently.’ You let the melody from your memories flow into your head. Your footsteps are quick to move in sync with the imaginary beat, your head soon subtly bobbing along too.

And then it happens. The melody gets stuck at that one part where it loops endlessly in your mind and you can’t move on. You’re stuck. The only way to get unstuck is to listen to it, but you can’t. You’d need your phone. Not even the gods know when you’ll escape the loop.

‘...Astaroth, you’re so lucky you’re not here right now to experience this torture, this curse I’ve been burdened with…If you can hear this, for your own wellbeing, don’t come back yet. You will regret it. You don’t have to suffer with me.’

Your group travels back along the path you had followed the previous day, Tav leading the way through the natural rock arch where you had originally found Lae’zel suspended in the air. Oblivious to your suffering, everyone continued onward towards the gray stone pillars you just barely caught a glimpse of before Tav came to a sudden halt and crouched, then motioned for everyone to do the same. She slowly inches forward and beckons everyone to follow. {Stealth = 19, Success}.

You stay near the back of the group and watch as Tav peers around the stone and underbrush. She lifts up her hand and raises four fingers. Four people. Supposedly deeming it safe, she stands out of the crouch and signals the rest of you to stand and follow. She strides into the stone ruins with confidence. A short man, a gnome by the looks, standing on a stone half-wall comes into view as you pass the stone pillars of the ruins. The half wall overlooks a substantial drop to a staircase leading towards a door to the ruins, and an identical wall across from that with a human standing guard there. The construction of the ruins makes it feel like a canyon with stairs instead of a river running through it. 

The gnome whips around when he hears your group approaching, “You! Not another step, hear me? Boss! Got company up here,” He calls out to his left, where you can see a human and another gnome down a flight of stairs, standing near a statue.

Immediately taking notice, the two of them clamber up the stairs until the other gnome stands in front of Tav, “What’s this then–trying to creep around us and loot the crypt? Not happening. Or is it the ship you’re after? Don’t matter either way–it’s ours, all of it.”

“Your loud words hide fear, confusion. Looting that ship will bring you no peace,” Tav states with a steadfast authority you weren’t expecting.

“Well, uh, in that case… C’mon you lot, no point in gettin’ killed. Second worm gets the cheese, an’ all…” The gnome quickly acquiesces, his bravado having vanished to leave naught but nervousness.

“Uh, second mouse gets the cheese, no?” The human man corrects him.

“Nobody’s getting any damn cheese! Now move it!”

The four people, looters you guess, are quick to scurry off.

“It would have been quicker to kill them,” Lae’zel comments once they’re out of earshot.

“Maybe, but we need to conserve our energy,” Tav explains. “If the devil Karlach is in the crypt, we’ll have an intense battle to fight. The less strength we waste, the better.”

“This devil best put up a good fight, if nothing else, to be worth the time we are wasting.”

Tav leads your group down the stairs, around the crumbling area in front of the statue the boss gnome and human were loitering around earlier, and down the next flight of stairs through the manmade canyon, stopping in front of the heavy-looking door. She puts her ear up to the door for a moment. You watch her eyes narrow before she takes out her staff and pulls away from the door to over at the rest of the group. You watch as the others around you pull out their weapons.

‘Oh, uh, okay,’ still not used to your powers, you fumble a bit as you summon your violin and bow into your hands and get in ready-position.

Slowly, Tav reaches for and grabs the door ring. She pulls it taught, careful to not cause the metal to grind against each other and make any loud noises. With a step back she yanks on it. It doesn’t budge. She pushes at the door. Doesn’t budge. Locked. She opens her mouth to speak but another voice cuts her off before she can begin.

“That you, Gimblebock?” A muffled voice echoes through the door. “Everything all right out there?”

“Gimblebock triggered some trap,” Tav improvises, voice frantic but her expression says otherwise. “He needs help- now!”

“I told him it wasn’t safe out there. Get inside, and I’ll rustle up some bandages…”

You hear the click of the door being unlocked. Tav nods to the rest of you and opens the door. You all step inside. Hearing more footsteps than he was expecting, the man who unlocked the door turns around.

He takes a step back, “Who the hells?” Torch in hand, he quickly brandishes his sword with the other. “You’re dead!”

Tav is quick to rush in and strike him with her new quarterstaff she picked up from one of the merchants in the grove. As he stumbles from the impact, you clumsily place all four fingers down on the e-string and screech out a note, firing an eldritch blast at him. {Attack Roll = 17, Hit}, {Force Damage = 3}. He staggers, but doesn’t fall. With a snarling face he rushes towards Tav but doesn’t get very far when Astarion appears behind him and sinks a dagger into the side of his neck. He uses the blade to basically flick the man to the ground as he removes the dagger. You watch as the man sputters and gurgles on the floor, blood oozing from his wound in a steady stream and dripping from his mouth whenever it opens. He stops moving. He’s not conscious, but he’s still alive– the blood is still pulsing out of him, his heart still beating, working to pump blood and keep its body alive if only the blood wouldn’t gush out of the wound with each contraction. It won’t be long before he’s dead.

You take in a deep breath through your mouth as you look away. ‘Inhale… One… two… three… exhale…’ You breathe out through your nose, slow and controlled. ‘Seeing somebody dying is way worse than seeing a body that’s already dead.’ You carefully step around the soon-to-be-new-dead-body and down the half-flight of stairs.

«Would some good news help?»

‘Oh, hi… You know, when you said you were going away for a bit to recharge your powers or something, I was expecting longer than half a day.’

«I thought so as well. I’m not sure if it’s a side effect of the tadpole or that your body is now able to tap into magic or something else entirely, but you’re gaining power at an incredible speed. Your body seems to absorb the traces of mana in the world around you, including the runoff of spells that have been cast not just by you, but by others as well.»

‘So I’m a mana vacuum? Does this mean I can just keep absorbing and never run out of magic? That’s broken.’

«Well, not exactly. At the moment, your body isn’t able to accommodate such high amounts of mana. I’ve been siphoning the excess as it enters you for your own safety, but it has turned out to be enough to allow us to converse freely without depleting any energy. In fact, your intake is high enough where I’m still gaining a small amount as we speak.»

‘“For my own safety?” What would’ve happened if you weren’t taking the excess?’

« Much like water, it would travel through you like a river and find the path of least resistance where it could escape. If you don’t consciously let the mana out of you, it will erode at the weakest point until it makes an opening to escape from. Based on your memories, I think an apt analogy is if you were a balloon and mana is there air getting pumped into it. After a while, you would burst.»

‘...Fun.’

«On a lighter note, you’ve grown stronger and have new abilities! Hence, the good news I previously mentioned.»

‘Ooooh, a level up? Perfect timing! Now I don’t have time to think about things too deeply and have an existential crisis!’

«…We're going to have a talk later because I am very worried for your mental health.»

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine; I’ve dealt with worse.’

«…» Astaroth spoke no words, but the silence that felt like a leveling stare said enough.

‘...ugh, fine, we’ll talk about feelings and unpack this at camp.’

«Good.»

‘Soooo, what are those shiny new abilities you mentioned?’

He sighs softly «Since you’ve given your word, I suppose we can change the topic now. I have granted you a new invocation and spell. You can now read all writing and can cast the spell Illusory Script. The spell, while active, will allow the intended meaning of whatever you write to be understandable by any parties you choose.»

‘So it will auto-translate my writing? Cool, I’ll make sure they don’t know I can do this for as long as possible, but–’ you interject before Astaroth can say anything– ‘I’ll make sure to use it when necessary. I won’t let my anxiety be the reason my party members get hurt. So, thank you, Astaroth. Really.’

«Don’t worry; I won’t push you on the matter. In the meantime, I’ll be working on getting us a gift.»

‘Ooooooh, a gift? What is it?’

«That’s for me to know, and you to be surprised with.»

‘Awww, c’mooooon, just a hint?’

«Nope.»

‘Booooo! ‘

«Just go have fun exploring and watch out for traps.»

‘Fiiiiiine… Let’s listen to some music tonight.’ You smile.

«I’d like nothing more.»

You tuned back into your surroundings, seeing everyone carefully rummage through the boxes and other storage containers scattered about. To the left is a door. Straight in front is a long dining table with food and drinks left on it, a fireplace in the wall behind the head of it. The walls are wood in some places and stone in others. Your gaze is attracted to a metal plaque hanging crookedly on the wall to your right. Shadowheart and Tav are standing near it, looking at it as well. You approach to get a better look. She looks at you out of the corner of her eye when you stop next to her.

“Who were those prayers for?” She asks. “Normally the patron god is obvious– not here.”

You watch the letters on the plaque tremble and warp until they reassemble themselves into English: Hear my words as they might be your last. Be careful. ‘Ominous.’ You shrug in response to Shadowheart. You don’t know enough about the Faerûnian deities to know if these words are a catchphrase of sorts for one of them, but you weren’t about to expend a spell slot to ask. ‘Still, no matter how I look at it, this doesn’t read like a prayer.’

“A dead tongue,” Tav states. “Whoever worshipped here must be long gone,” She walks away after a small shrug of her own, off to investigate the rest of the room.

‘Wait, a dead tongue? But I can read it now… Holy shit, I am an archaeologist’s wet dream. Or philologist? Archaeological philologist? Ah, whatever.’

Tav soon gathered everyone together to approach the door across the room from the plaque after everyone had rifled through the supplies and grabbed what they deemed necessary to take. “Everyone ready to keep going?” A round of nods ran through the group. “Good. Let’s move.” Tav approached the door, and just like before, she put her ear up to it and listened. Her eyes glanced over to Astarion. “How good are you with the bow?” she whispered.

“Very,” Astarion whispered back with a smirk as he pulled out his bow and notched an arrow.

“Alright, everyone else, back up and get low.” 

The rest of us did as told, everyone in a crouch with only Tav and Astarion near the door. With a nod from him, Tave pulled the lever on the wall and the door swung open. Astarion took aim, pulled back and fired, all within the span of a high crouch jump.

‘Oh, he’s a rogue! Yeah that makes sense. Sneak attack damage is crazy good.’

“How’d you get past Andorn?!” the human woman Astarion had shot cried out. She didn’t get to say much before Gale hit her with a Ray of Frost and Tav rushed her and struck with her staff. As quickly as the fight had started, it was over. 

The threat gone, everyone raised from their sneaking poses and took a look around the room. To the left there was a door that was opened after Tav did her routine check. There wasn’t much inside but there was some sunlight that leaked through the gaps in the ceiling. To the right of the main room was a door with neither lock nor handle. You gave it a slight push, but it didn’t move. The last door, on the far wall across from where you entered, was the group’s next target. Tav didn’t even need to put her ear up against it; you could hear the loud conversation happening as you neared. Nobody needed to be told to ready their weapons this time. 

Astarion took to the front with Tav again. As soon as she pushed open the door, Astarion let loose the arrow on the first person he saw. Everyone rushed into the room after the first shot, taking advantage of the surprise attack. Tav rushed the man astarion hit, striking him in the stomach with a jab as soon as he turned around to face your group. Lae’zel leapt down the flight of stairs and sprinted to the left towards a duergar, hitting them with a mean downwards slash of her flame-wreathed blade she must have picked up from the fiend on the nautilus. 

You began to play the song you had stuck in your head earlier and took aim at the already wounded man in your direct line of sight. Another eldritch blast fired from your instrument. {Attack Roll = 6, Miss}. The man, seeing your magic projectile, ducks, the blast going past him and into the floor. Gale fires a ray of frost towards someone on the right– you glance over and see a tall man, but afford him no more time than that. Wyll runs down the stairs and throws his momentum into a lunge towards the man you missed, stabbing him in the chest with a rapier. The man falls to the ground, incapacitated. Shadowheart moves closer to the action, but stays out of direct contact, ready to sling healing spells at whoever needs them.

Target down, Wyll moves to the right and hexes the man Gale had hit. Tav runs towards the back where a human in robes readies her quarterstaff behind a statue of a robed figure. Astarion darts towards the duergar Lae’zel is in combat with, flanking them. He stabs them from behind with his dagger, and they fall  to the ground as soon as it is removed. Tav makes a strike against the figure in the back, who retaliates with a burst of ice, the sharp spikes cutting into her. You move your gaze to the man Wyll hexed. The statue provides too much cover for the person Tav is fighting for you to hit them. You’re now six seconds into your song and you’re able to fire off another blast. So you do. {Attack Roll = 6, Miss}. Your face scrunches into an annoyed scowl as you miss again.

Gale’s fire bolt hits the man you missed in the face, causing him to cry out and not notice Wyll in time before he’s stabbed with a rapier. Shadowheart moves close enough to help Tav with a healing word as Lae’zel dashes around the right of the statue and pulls out her bow, firing an arrow at the mage engaged with Tav, Astarion in quick pursuit. The man, after shaking off the two consecutive attacks, releases a thunderous warcry and slams his spiked club down on Wyll. The blow forces Wyll down, but he’s quick to roll away and get back up on his feet, thrusting at the man again. The raging human goes down. Astarion, having sprinted towards the mage alongside Lae’zel, was quick to rush in with another stab as soon as Lae’zel’s arrow hit its mark. The mage’s cry is silenced as Tav finishes her off with a brutal blow to the head with her staff.

Another round of everyone looting bodies and chests occurred, you sticking to looking in the chests only, and was interrupted by a ghastly shriek and rapidly clicking metal. 

“Wonder what that did,” you looked over to Tav when she spoke, seeing her hand on a metal pull bar held in the jaws of a humanoid skull.

“The sound came from the last room we were in,” Gale said. 

[I’ll go check it out], you mime. {Performance = 20, Success}. ‘I’ll gladly take a room with one body over one with four.’

“All right, everyone who’s done looting go with them,,” Tav says as she looks at the others. “The rest of us will follow soon after.”

Shadowheart and Astarion end up joining you, neither of them interested in rifling through the bookshelves in search of any magic scrolls or potential hidden passages after they finished looting the corpses. 

You don’t hesitate to leave the room, eager to escape the stench of iron growing more pungent by the minute. As soon as you crossed through the doorway, you didn’t have to go far to see the change: the immovable door was now open. Curious, you head in and see an altar devoid of anything except candles, two more headless statues and a tapestry hanging on the far wall where another door resides. 

‘It’s just an airlock, or well, a vestibule, technically. Kinda disappointing, not gonna lie.’

You decided you’d better do what Tav had been doing and put your ear up to the closed door. [Nothing,] you shake your head and lean your back against the door. [Guess we wait, then?] {Performance Roll = Natural 20, critical success}.

“I’ll go let them know what we’ve found, I suppose,” Shadowheart exits the room, leaving just you and Astarion.

 It’s silent, the two of you just waiting. Astarion flips his dagger out of boredom. Not much to really talk about when one of you can’t talk and the other isn’t striking up conversation. 

‘But (y/n),’ your mentally exhausted mind self pipes up, ‘what if we spoke anyway?‘

‘But I don’t want to talk, that’s like, our whole thing?’ You reply to yourself.

‘Okay but hear me out. If we do, it could be funny to see the bastard man so confused. Could be fun. Also, since he can’t understand us: no repercussions for what we say.’

‘You make a convincing argument, (y/n).’

‘Thank you, (y/n).’

“So, I, uh… heard you had twelve terabytes of pornography.”

“...” Astarion stops playing with his stabbing instrument and turns to look at you, not amused.

‘(y/n), why’d you open with that of all things?!’

‘I don’t know! I panicked and I thought it’d be funny and it just slipped out. Besides, you said this is a no repercussions discussion; I’m sure everything will be fine. Just be glad it wasn’t the Mississippi pick up line.’

‘Mmm, fair…’

«The “Mississippi pick up line?” Also, why are you talking to yourself?»

‘Oh no.’

“I hope you’re not using the fact that I don’t understand whatever it is that you're saying to say something foul to my face,” Astarion pulls you from your mind conversation.

[No, no no no, that’s not it, don’t worry.] ‘I mean, I’m not lying. He is trying to ask if I’m insulting him, right? Yeah.’

The room falls to silence again. 

«So, would you like to start with Mississippi or why you were talking to yourself how you talk to me?»

‘I’ll have you know that having conversations with yourself in your head is very normal where I come from, thank you very much.’

«I suppose I’ll take your word for it. And why’d you say “oh no” when I asked about Mississippi?»

‘Okay, so pickup lines. They’re a form of flirting that takes the structure of a question followed by the reason why you asked. For example: Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see. Probably doesn’t make sense since you don’t have cultural context but you get the point. That’s the structure. Now, Mississippi is a place from my world. And, ugh, I can’t believe I’m saYing this to my patron, but the line goes like this: Are you from Mississippi? ‘Cause you’re the only miss  whose piss I’d sippy.’

«…That was vile.»

‘...I know, and I’m deeply ashamed by how funny I find it.’

«I’ll forgive you if you say that to the next devil we come across.»

‘Bet.’

«That was merely a jest, but now I’m looking forward to it. Make sure you have Illusory Script ready to go.»

‘...Well fuck me, I guess. If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s the opposite of stubborn, so I guess I’m doing it.’

You then remember that the next devil you’ll probably come across will be Karlach. You know. The really handsome brain lady.

‘Oh no, she’s going to hate me! And I was so ready to flirt with her using Johnny Bravo lines, but now I’m doomed to make her feel disgusted by meeee-hee-hee-heeeee!’ You sob in your mind. ‘But mama didn’t raise no pussy. I said I’d do it, so I’ll do it, goddammit.’

«I don’t care who or what you’re attracted to, but please, no. devils.»

‘Isn’t like I’m gonna get anywhere with her when that’s what I’ll have to drop on her, but okay. No devils. I can work with that.’

The rest of the party is quick to arrive, spoils of gold coins, weapons, and some low-level spell scrolls taken off the corpses of your adversaries. Tav leads the way through the door into the next room” a large, open chamber.

“A crypt,” Lae’zel observes. “What riches might it contain?”

‘Oh no, are we gonna have to fight a necromancer? Everyone knows necromancers love to hang out in crypts.’

The room has two sets of large double doors on the left and right walls, parallel to each other. Your party goes through the door on the right. There is very conspicuous sarcophagus in the center of the room, and a few against the walls as well.

“A trap,” Astarion points out once he nears it. “Someone doesn’t like visitors.”

“Can you disarm it?” Tav asks.

“Easily.”

As he works on that, the rest of the group rifles through the other sarcophagi, which are thankfully not trapped. This room, like the others, is quickly looted, the only things of note being a magical spear given to Shadowheart, an old key, and a strange black coin. There’s also another door, locked until  it isn’t by Astarion’s deft hands, which leads back to the beach Tav and Shadowheart woke up on. Nothing more to find here, the group goes back to the previous room and approaches the other doors. 

After hearing no sound, Tav inserts the key taken from the sarcophagus, which thankfully unlocks the door. Another open concept room with an underground version of a sunken courtyard in the center with a large stature identical to the ones you’ve seen throughout the crypt, except this time with a head.

“Look at that!” Gale exclaims once he sees the statue. “Jergal, the Scribe of the Dead. This chapel must be ancient.”

‘Guess nobody worships him anymore, then?’

«Correct. He stepped down from his seat of godhood more than a millennium ago.»

‘Oh wow, then yeah, this place is old.’

“Armed scribes- but no sign of a struggle,” Tav mutters as you all pass by some clothed skeletons lying about while you walk through the room.

“The bones are intact,” Lae’zel comments. “Would not scavengers have disturbed them?”

‘Oh yeah, there was definitely a necromancer here before. I guess they’re not anymore?’

The wall on the right has collapsed, allowing some outside light to leak through, but it seems to lead to a cave that was likely carved out by the river running through it. You all head to the left, where the only door, besides the one you came through, stands. This one is luckily unlocked. There are more sarcophagi within the room, inside one you found another of those black coins. Against the same wall as the door is a stone shelf upon which a book with a massive metal lock resides.

‘What kind of diary has secrets bad enough to warrant that kind of lock?’ You think, as you pick it up. ‘Whatever it is, it’s gotta be juicy.’ You pull on the lock and it doesn’t budge. ‘Seriously? A thousand years later and you’re still keeping your secrets? How dedicated are you to your job that you haven’t rusted into nothingness already?’

“Would you mind if I took a look at that?” You turn to see Gale next to you, looking at the book. “There’s some magic involved in that book, so I’d love to take a look. Can probably knock the lock open with some magic of my own as well.”

[Knock yourself out,] you hand him the book.

One magical hand motion later and the lock clicks and the book practically bursts open, as if it wanted someone to look at a specific page. You hover next to Gale and watch as the words on the page morph themselves into letters you recognize. The words, however, even once settled, don’t make sense to you. 

“They’re names,” Gale explains, seeing your confusion. “These pages are recording gods, entire pantheons even, that have dwindled or died or have been reborn. What a fascinating tome.”

‘Huh. Neat.’

And then you’re back to exploring the main chamber. Down the steps and into the courtyard you go, where you spot another skeleton and a plaque at the base of the giant statue. The words read the same as the first one you read. The words carved into the stone scroll the statue is holding is the same as well. More stairs sit on either side of the statue, both seemingly lead to nothing. On the left side though, atop the stairs along a pillar on the wall, you spy a button.

‘Oh no. The irresistible urge is encompassing me. Oooh, that button is so tempting.’ You quickly climb the stairs and stand in front of the button, barely keeping your impulsive want to press it at bay.

“Tav!” You call out, gaining her attention. You point to the button. [Can I?] {Persuasion = 7, Failure}.

“Hold on, let me take a look,” She climbs up the stairs and stands next to you, looking at the button. “Well, I don’t see anything else,” she says, glancing around.

[OK.] You press the button.

The section of the wall to the left underneath the the arched bevelling slides away, but as it does, you begin to hear ominous gasps of breath resound from the rest of the room. You and the rest of the party, all huddled on our around the staircase, look back. The skeletons become animate, rising from their collapsed positions, their bodies coated in a green glow of necromantic magic.

“Hells, they’ve woken!” Tave yells as she and everyone else readies their weapons.

“Let them come,” Shadowheart says, a fierce determination in her voice. “The darkness can be to our advantage.”

Tav rushes forward into the courtyard and a whip of water sprouts forth from her arm, grabbing onto the skeleton in between the opposing staircases of where you stood and pulling it until it is within melee range of her. Astarion is able to quickly flank it and hit it with a devastating sneak attack with his dagger, but it isn't enough for it to go down. Your eldritch blast hasn’t been kind to you today, so you switch towards the other cantrip you have: a Vile Fire Bolt. You ready your violin and begin playing {Attack Roll = 15, Hit}. {Fire Damage = 4, Vile Damage = 3}. The skeleton collapses into a pile of bones. On the mezzanine surrounding the courtyard, another skeleton stands near the brazier, almost directly behind where the skeleton you just took down originally stood. Gale readies a Magic Missile spell, all three missiles hitting the skeleton. He ducks behind the short tree standing next to the statue.

A skeleton standing near the door where the book of dead gods was found casts Fog Cloud on the stairs where you were standing, obscuring your vision in the haze, along with Lae’zel, Wyll, and Shadowheart who had not yet left the stairs. You can’t see what’s going on, but you can hear three sets of footsteps run forwards. You hear a chant and blast when suddenly the fog dissipates. You look to the right and see Wyll up on the mezzanine, facing the downed skeletal mage. He must have shot his own eldritch blast and defeated it, dispelling the magic. Lae’zel and Shadowheart ran forwards and up the other flight of stairs, approaching the skeleton Gale had hit.

That skeleton cast Fog Cloud on Lae’zel and Shadowheart, stopping them in their tracks before retreating. Another skeleton that was between the double doors and the collapsed wall ran forward and cast another Fog Cloud, encompassing Tav, Gale, and Astarion. A third skeleton ran from the left of the collapsed wall and fired a Ray of Frost at Tav. Tav ran towards where the ice spell came from. Noticing the retreating skeleton passing by the stairs to the right, she hurls a streak of fire from her staff at the skeleton, causing it to collapse in a burst of flames, the fog around Lae’zel and Shadowheart dissipating. You take the stairs at a time as you descend into the courtyard, your bowing turning into a natural staccato at the movement. Keeping out of the fog, you aim at the frost-wielding skeleton and shoot another bolt of vile flames. {Attack Roll = 23, Hit}. {Fire damage = 3, Vile damage = 2}. Lae’zel runs to the other skeleton that cast the fog around Gale and Astarion and lands a diagonal slash against it, breaking its concentration. Now able to see, Astarion and Gale turn their attention towards the frost skeleton you hit. Astarion fires an arrow while Gale sends his own Ray of Frost at it. Both hit their mark and the skeleton goes down. Shadowheart charges forward with her new spear and thrusts into the skeleton Lae’zel is in melee with, taking it down.

The threat neutralized, your party gathers back up in the courtyard and heads towards the wall that opened up. You head in and see a room with a chest, some pots and vases, some benches, and a single sarcophagus surrounded by unlit candles.

“A lot of effort to hide one sarcophagus,” Tav comments.

As Tav loots the chest, you approach the sarcophagus and notice a plaque on the ground at its base. It morphs into a readable scrawl: “Here lies the Guardian of Tombs. Through knowledge comes atonement.”

‘...Is this the necromancer?’

Tav, finished with taking the valuables from the chest, walks past you and right up to the sarcophagus. She barely touches it before it begins to move on its own, sliding towards the back wall away from you. It moves slowly until an emaciated hand shoots up and grabs the edge, causing you to flinch back in surprise. With a swift flick of its arm, the heavy lid of its tone coffin is practically flung off.

‘Holy shit, I did not sign up for mummy brutes. That arm has no muscles in its arm, where did it get that strength?!’ You quickly back up some more. 

A mummy, dressed in tattered robes, loose bandages, and gold refinery limply raises into the air. Its bones creak as its head raises and its eyes open. Arms outstretched, he floats towards your group. Everyone backs up as it lands in front of what was supposed to be its final resting place and walks forward as soon as its feet touch the ground.

“So he has spoken, and so thou standest before me. Right as always,” the mummy speaks before pausing in front of Tav. Its voice is rough and masculine with an odd whispering echo surrounding every word. “What a curious way to awaken. Now I have a question for thee: what is the worth of a single mortal’s life?”

“‘So he has spoken’? What ‘he’ are you talking about?” Tav asks.

“An arbiter of certain matters. But that is not important now. Wilt thou answer my question?”

“Yes. Ask away.”

“So I ask again: what is the worth of a single mortal life?”

“Mortal lives are not ‘single’. They are part of a great whole- a path to enlightenment.”

“Few strive for such balance. Fewer still achieve it. Very well. I am satisfied.” He looks over at you, locking eyes.

You purse your lips and break eye contact. ‘Why is he looking at me?’

I was not expecting to meet one of you in this age. Curious indeed. We have met and I know thy face. We will see each other again at the proper time and place. Farewell.”

Your eyes widen and you look back at him. You open your mouth to ask just what he was talking about, but don’t get the chance before he speaks again.

“We have nothing more to discuss. Continue on thy way, as if I were not here. I must attend this place, after so many years away. We will see each other again soon.”

“You seem very certain of that. How?” Tav asks, glancing between the two of you.

“The mechanics of fate would be difficult to explain to one such as thyself. Regardless, it will occur.” And just like that, he walks off.

Tav looks at you. “Do you know what he meant by ‘one of you’?” 

You shrug. He could’ve meant where you’re from, your patron, or any number of things.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter too much–that skeleton was being too cryptic for my tastes: no straight answers at all. Well, since we’ve cleared out this place, let’s take a short rest. Get ready to move in half an hour.”

The group breaks, most preferring to leave the musty room you were in, all except you, that is. Though it didn’t smell the best, it was pretty comfortable in all other ways. You take a seat on one of the benches.

‘Astaroth, do you know anything about whatever that was.’

«They were probably talking about me. I think that mummy, as you referred to it as, is a chosen of Jergal. He might have been able to sense I am your patron, and seeing as I perished many millennia ago, most would not expect my presence anywhere.»

‘Isn’t that, y’know, kind of bad that he knows about you?’

«As he has remained silent about my identity, I don’t believe we have anything to worry about.»

‘That’s a relief.’

«Yes, it is.»

True to her word, half an hour later, Tav rounds everyone up and leads you through the entryway into the cave made by the collapsed wall. There must have been a door there at some point, seeing as around a column of stone was a lever that lowered a ladder. You all climb up the ladder and through a trapdoor, leading to the outside cliff of the crypt.

Once everyone is out, Tav starts forward again. “Well, we’ve cleared out the crypt of any threats, but no Karlach was to be found. For now, let’s head back to the grove and go west. We can decide if we go further west or north as we get closer to the points on the map.”

Nobody could complain, so forwards you all went.

“So,” Astarion starts, “You know about these parasites. Will we survive them?” He asks Lae’zel.

“Only if my people extract them,” she replies. “The only other cure is the blade.”

“Okay. Wonderful.”

‘...I almost forgot I had one of those things in my head and now I can’t stop thinking about it and I swear I can feel it squirm, blegh. I’m gonna be sick if I think about it any longer. Quick, think of something stupid-we’re great at that. Um… we know it takes a lot of slaps to cook a chicken, however, with my new vile burning hands spell, would it only take one slap? Or would it take more?’

You all reach the entrance to the grove in fifteen minutes' time. Tav gives a nod to the lookouts as you pass by. They nod back in acknowledgement while your party continues west. Not a minute's walk later does Wyll stop you in your tracks and points out footprints heading seemingly into the cliff.

“Tracks like these puncture the soil across the Sword Coast: Goblins, of course.”

‘Into the cliff? What, do we have ghost goblins now?’ You step forward and examine the vine-covered cliff face. {Investigation = 21, Success}. It’s another of those sliding stone doorways you saw in the grove. You easily locate the activation mechanism in the form of a hidden button along the frame and press it, lowering the door. [Voila,]

You peer into the doorway to see an earthy tunnel, a mix of natural and manmade. There’s some other natural light pouring in from the ceiling deeper in, but you can’t make out too much besides that and two other ominous sources of light: a pinprick of glowing red and a faint glow of blue light. [So. Are we going in]?

“There are at least four sets of goblin prints,” Wyll states, examining the cave as he walks up next to you. “Seeing how close it is to the grove, there’s a good chance these goblins know where it is. I don’t see any prints exiting at least. That means we can still intercept them and make sure the grove’s location isn’t leaked to their camp.”

“As long as that means we get to go kill something, a little chase wouldn’t hurt too much,” Astarion smirks.

“Chk,” Lae’zel scowls. “Goblins are hardly worth fighting.”

“Let’s go,” Tav decides. “If we wipe them out now, we can avoid a possible pincer attack later if they end up taking the same path as us after they leave.”

You and Tav front the group, slowly sneaking in as the others follow suit. The tunnel slightly curves to the right, and a few meters into it, you can already see the cavern it widens out into. Your eyes adjust to the dim light fairly quickly, thankfully. Once they do, you can see a large, ivory statue of a bird of prey, an eagle or hawk, or something of the like. They eyes of which you notice are the source of the red light you could just barely make out from the entrance. You’re also able to notice something else: voices.

“Glowing eyes are rarely a good sign,” Tav whispers, pointing towards the statue and drawing everyone’s attention to it. “It’s probably a trap; best be careful- Astarion, do you think you might be able to disarm it?”

“Well, glowing-eyed statues aren’t exactly my forte, especially when we have company,” he flicks his head in the direction the voices are coming from.

You sneak a few steps forward to get a wider view of the area, ‘there’s usually some clues of how to solve these puzzles in places like this.’ A few meters in front of the statue lies a natural stone column with an unnatural white stone panel, matching the bird statue in make and tone, with a glowing blue symbol, the source of the blue glow you saw. You nudge Tav and point to the panel. 

[That looks like a button, doesn’t it? If we push it, it could disarm whatever trap that statue is.] {Persuasion = 8, Success}

“It’s worth a shot,” she says. “We can’t throw something at it or shoot it if we don’t want to draw the attention of those voices’ owners, goblins, presumably. We need somebody who is quick and quiet to press it and abscond.”

Everyone looks at Astarion.

“I suppose I am quite talented in those aspects. Very well, if you insist, but if you’re wrong about this,” he briefly narrows his eyes at you.

In a split second, he’s gone, already three meters ahead in a silent dash. He runs with noiseless steps, body low to the ground. In three seconds he had crossed over to the pillar and placed his hand on the panel, pushing it in. As he does, both the blue light of the panel and the red light of the statue's eyes are snuffed out. As quickly as he crossed that distance the first time he did again on his way back: a round trip in six seconds flat.

“Hmph, easy.” He gloats. “Also, I took a small glance around. There is a goblin right around the corner, but I didn’t see where the other ones were.”

“Looks like we’re in for a fight. No time like the present. Let’s go,” Tav leads you around the bend until the goblin comes into view. Tav flicks her hand forward. [Go.]

Astarion makes the first move, darting up to the goblin and stabbing it from behind. It lets out a guttural shriek that dies out quickly as it dies itself. The other goblins, who you can now see on the floor level with the bottom of the cliff, notice the sudden attackers and reach for their weapons. They don’t have time to do much when Tav, who was right behind Astarion, uses Rush of the Gale Spirits, forcing two of the three goblins back a few meters and knocking them off balance. She scales down the cliff using the stone shelves, some of which are too flat to have occurred naturally. Astarion is quick to follow behind her.

Your violin is resummoned and readied. You approach the Edge of the cliff and find your target: a goblin archer further right than the other two. You start your new song with a Vile Fire Bolt. {Attack Roll = 11, Miss}. The goblin ducks, the attack whizzing over its head. 

“Glacies,” Gale, having come up to the cliff edge, stands left of you, casts Ray of Frost, hitting the goblin furthest away. Glancing that way, you also notice a man lying on the floor, unconscious, surrounded by the goblins.

Wyll, now also at the edge but further to the right, aims at the same goblin who dodged your attack. “Maledicus… Dolo,” he casts both Hex and Eldritch Blast. The spells hit their mark and cause the goblin to stumble, but it stays standing.

“Incende!” Shadowheart steps up between you and Wyll and casts Sacred Flame. The goblin nimbly steps back, dodging the sudden burst of white flame.

Lae’zel leaps down the stair-like stone shelves and fires an arrow at the nearest goblin- an archer. The arrow pierces its leg and it shouts in pain. Tav moves up to hit that same Goblin as Lae’zel but misses. Astarion fires an arrow at the goblin archer, who is distracted by Tav enough that it doesn’t see the arrow coming. The arrow sinks into its neck and the goblin falls. With one archer down and another to go, he moves to the hexed goblin and tries to stab with his offhand, but misses. He goes in with another swing and hits, but doesn’t kill. 

The goblin archer jumps back from Astarion and shoots an acid arrow at Wyll once it gains some distance from Astarion. The arrow misses and strikes the cliff face right in front of him, however the acid vial attached to it bursts, splashing onto Shadowheart next to him. She grunts in pain and steps back, flicking off as much of the acid as possible onto the floor.

Your gaze is still honed in on the hexed goblin. The sixth second comes around, a full round of combat having passed, and another Vile Fire Bolt is shot. {Attack Roll= Natural 20, Critical Hit}, {Damage = 4 Vile, 4 Fire}. It screams as it perishes in black and red flames.

Another Ray of Frost, Hex, and Eldritch Blast come from Gale and Wyll, aimed at the last remaining goblin, who is unable to withstand the barrage of spells and succumbs to the cold embrace of death.

The fight is over, and everyone sheathes their weapons, your violin absorbed back into its pocket dimension. The party goes to rejoin Tav, who is checking on the unconscious man on the lower level. You however, see a couple of crates to your right next to a standing torch that look like the perfect place to take a break. Your stamina is not like the others’, and that short rest in the crypt was nowhere near long enough to soothe your aching legs. You can’t resist the temptation and take a seat. {Contested Roll: Perception = 18 vs. Habit = 17, Success}. Your hand reaches for your pocket out of habit, but you notice before you pull your phone out and move your hand away. ‘I gotta break that habit.’ 

You close your eyes and stretch in an attempt to soothe your sore body somewhat. You crack your spine with a satisfying pop and relax your muscles. You open your eyes and see Astarion, walking right in front of you. You almost jumped; you didn’t hear him at all. He passes by you, walking into the dark alcove to your left.

Curious, you follow him up the roughly hewn stone steps, clearly man-made compared to the rest of the cavern. It was unexpectedly dark, and you could barely make out Astarion kneeling down in front of some large mass, the details of which you couldn’t make out. You take a step forward to get a better look at what he’s doing.

He whips around and you briefly see a glint of metal in his hand, his entire body tense, as if preparing to lunge at a moment’s notice. “Oh, it’s just you,” he says, his hand moving back, pushing what you now realize is a dagger back into its sheath. 

[Whatcha doin?] You ask, trying to ignore how close you came to getting stabbed. {Performance = 20, Success}.

“Taking my reward, obviously,” he gestures towards the dark mass behind him.

‘Reward?’ You lean forward and squint, and you can just make out the true form of that mass: a chest. ‘Ooooh, fun.’ [So, what are we looking at here]? {Performance = Natural 20, Critical Success}.

“A very considerate setup of traps and locks I’ll have to get through,” he replies, pulling out the respective toolkits to undo each. 

[Won’t it be hard with how dark it is? Here let me–] You almost reach for your pocket again- ‘not grab my phone,’ [let me get you some light.] {Performance = 12, failure}. Astarion doesn’t acknowledge you as you turn back and leave the alcove. You take out your torch and head over to the standing torch that was near the boxes you sat on earlier. You light yours with the flame and head back over to Astarion, who had already begun fiddling with the trapped chest without you.

He doesn’t glance over at you, despite the sudden increase in light, too focused on the chest. You watch him work, his hands turning his tools slowly and precisely, his hands steady, never shaking. 

‘...He’s got some pretty hands.’

One minute and two clicks later, the chest is disarmed and unlocked. He pops open the lid and you step forward to take a look, your torch illuminating the insides. There’s a twisted staff and a small pile of gold coins.

“Better than nothing,” he says as he pockets the gold. He grabs and takes a look at the staff and frowns.

[Tav could probably use it]. {Performance = 3, failure}.

“It was locked in a trapped chest, so it’s probably at least somewhat valuable. Maybe we could sell it to the druids. It looks nature-y enough for them to be interested. Here, hold onto it,” he passes it to you. “You don’t have to carry around your instrument anywhere because of your magic, so you should be fine carrying it around.”

[I mean, I guess I could use it as a walking stick.] {Performance = 15, success}. You grab it and tap the base against the ground a couple times, just because it felt right. ‘I kinda feel like Gandalf. Fuck yeah.’

“Yes, well, have fun with that.”

As you both step back out into the main area of the cave, you see the others reach the top of the cliff, climbing up to the same level you are on.

“There you both are,” Tav comments upon seeing you. “There are two more doors leading into the grove, and we’ve confirmed there are no other goblins about. The man was just fine and returned to the grove. What do you have there?” She looks at your Gandalf stick.

[A big stick. Wanna take a look]? You hold it out to her.

She grabs it and tilts it back and forth as she examines it, her eyes briefly glowing. “Interesting. Looks like it’s been enchanted to entangle creatures it hits. I prefer the staff I’m using now, so we should probably sell this one when we get the chance.” She hands it back to you. “Find anything else?”

“No, only that,” Astarion answered before you could.

‘Oh, he’s pocketing the gold. I mean, that is classic rogue behavior.’ You go along with it and nod. {Deception (with advantage) = 16, success}.

With nobody having anything else to add, you all make your way back towards the entrance and continue westwards towards your original destination. You squint once you leave the cave, having to readjust to the outside sunlight. You quickly glance at the sky, noting the sun’s position. It’s definitely late-afternoon by now. You quickly come across a fork in the road: the main path continues west, but a smaller path breaks off to the north.

Tav’s attention snaps towards the northern path. “People up ahead. Something’s wrong.” 

You focus for a second and hear the voices Tav must have noticed. And on the northbound path you go. You soon see the source of the voices: Two humans hovering over an injured dwarf lying on the ground.

“You’re a True Soul,” the woman says to the dwarf. “You can’t die. Please stay with us.”

“I don’t think he’s conscious,” the man says. “Can you hear us, Ed?”

Tav boldly approached, the human woman’s attention shifting from the dwarf to Tav, and then towards your group as a whole. “You!” She holds out her hand in a warding motion. “Not a step closer.” She glares at your group when suddenly you see a glowing red mark over her right eye suddenly appear. The glow soon fades and the mark disappears from view just as quickly.

‘...Um… okay?’

Tav glances down at the fatally injured dwarf, then looks back at the woman, her eyebrows raising in a worried manner. “His wounds look deep. I might be able to help.”

“He’s hurt badly. An owlbear got him deep. If there’s anything you can do…” The human man pleads.

“I’m watching you,” the woman allows Tav to approach, but her eyes never relax from their glare.

Tav kneels down next to the dwarf and locks eyes with him. They’re silent for a few seconds before the dwarf speaks.

“She is a True Soul. Mind her. She will- she- she…” His words lose their strength as he runs out of breath and fully goes limp. He’s dead.

“Edowin,” The human man collapses to his knees. “Ed! Please!”

“He’s with the Absolute now,” the woman’s gaze turns sorrowful, no longer focused on Tav or your party. “You’re…” Her gaze remains soft as it goes back to Tav. “You’re a True Soul. Edowin, our brother- he was chosen. Like you. Do you have orders for us? We were reporting to Edowin.”

Tav raises from her kneeling position and looks her straight in the eye, “Why are you out here? The wilderness is dangerous.”

“We know that all too well, ma’am, but… the Absolute sent us here.”

“We’re looking for fugitives,” the man explains. “Survivors from that ship that crashed farther west of here.”

‘West? Does that mean there was a second ship? Or maybe half of the ship crashed in the west, and the second half was where we crashed.’

“These fugitives- tell me more,” Tav commanded.

“We don’t know what they look like, but anyone who survived that crash is bound to be injured. That’s enough to get us started. The Absolute wants them found at any cost.”

“True Soul?”

“What…? Are you… are you testing us?” The man asks, taken aback. Tav remains stoic, giving no indication of her intentions.

“A True Soul-” The woman begins- “like you- has been chosen by the Absolute. You speak with Her voice. Your words are Her command. She grants you the power to enforce Her will. And when the time comes, the True Souls- you- will rule.”

“Oh, I like these two,” Astarion whispers next to you. “All zeal and no brains.”

[These two reek of cult.] {Performance = 19, Success}.

“Yes, but is it really a problem when we’re on the receiving end of their devotion?”

[Well, I’ve got anxiety, so… yeah, it’s not for me. You do you, though.] {Performance = 7, Failure}.

He frowns at you and crosses his arms. “It’s not like you’re a paladin who swore an oath to get rid of all cults or something, so don’t  ruin it for me. I’m intent on milking this for all its worth.”

‘Not what I meant, but sure, go off, I guess.’

“A crude summary,” Tav lightly berates the woman. “You have more to learn of our faith, novice.”

“I’m sorry, True Soul,” she immediately concedes. “I… only repeated what I thought I knew. It seems the Absolute still has a great deal to teach me.”

“Perhaps you can be of help to make up for it- I’m looking for the druid Halsin.”

“I apologize, but I don’t know any druids.”

“Very well. Now for your orders: Return for now. Forget the owlbear. You’re still alive- so go.”

“And just… leave Ed?” The man looks torn between following Tav’s orders and avenging the dwarf. “I suppose… I suppose he’d want us to go on- find a way to honor his sacrifice.”

“May the Absolute guide us,” the woman says in place of a farewell before the two of them travel down the northbound path.

As soon as they’re out of earshot, Tav speaks, “They spoke of the Absolute- same as that goblin, Sazza. Curious.”

“Seems as though the Absolute’s attracting followers from all kinds of places,” Lae’zel comments.

Tav approaches the corpse and flinches. Her head and arms jerk awkwardly, as if she was fighting against her body’s movement. When her left arm raises, the body does too. You take a step back in surprise.

‘Holy shit, she’s got telekinesis!’

Her hand snaps shut into a fist as the dead dwarf’s neck snaps in a clean break and a tadpole crawls out of his eye. You grimace in disgust. The tadpole floats over to Tav and lands in her hand. As soon as it makes contact, Tav’s body relaxes and the corpse drops to the ground. She stares at it as she evens out her labored breathing, then stashes the tadpole away.

“Umm…” [Why are you holding onto that instead of, oh, you know, killing it]? {Performance = 4, Failure}.

“Don’t worry, it’s in safe hands,” she reassures, mistaking your question for a statement of worry.

[No, that’s not what I-] a frustrated sigh escapes your mouth. [Nevermind].

“Well, thankfully those two weren’t being very careful and left clear tracks. If we’re lucky, we can follow them back to their base,” Tav turns towards the way the pair went and waves for everyone to follow. “Come on. We should cover as much ground as possible.”

The trail slopes downward and twists to the left, leading  towards a river. You notice a coffin sitting in the middle of the river, propped up against some rocks.

‘Why is there a coffin here?’

The river here is shallow and Tav leads you all across. You glance at the coffin as you pass it and are relieved to see it empty save for a wooden spoon, for some reason. A massive cave entrance looms on the other side of the river, an animal-made path leading to its maw.

“Owlbear tracks,” Tav informs the group. “Best not go inside- its nest is probably there.”

Instead, a natural ramp of dirt and stone shelves to the left leads upwards, out of the river bed. The footprints lead that way too. The first stone step is taller than half your body, and you grunt as you pull yourself up, your muscles complaining at the strain. The path evens out once the ground is level with the area on the other side of the river where you met the three cultists. The tracks head left, but a dog’s bark sounds out from the right, diverting your attention.

‘Is that a pupper I hear?’ Nobody can stop you from going to meet that dog. “Tav,” you get her attention. [Dog! That way! We gotta go!] {Persuasion = 20, Success}.

“A short detour wouldn’t hurt, I suppose,” she acquiesced to your request. “Lead the way, then.”

You take off in the direction of the barking. It’s not long before you smell iron-blood. ‘Oh no, please be okay mystery dog!' You follow the footpath around a decently sized tree and some small boulders to see two things: a white dog and a very blood corpse. As you approach, the dog growls at you, standing in front of the corpse protectively. You stop and kneel down before the dog.

“Hey there, pupper. It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

The dog doesn’t relax at your words. It only barks and growls some more. Tav, now beside you, leans to the side and squints.

“It’s alright, Scratch. we’re not going to hurt you,” she says. At the mention of its name, the dog, Scratch, relaxes and begins wagging his tail and whines. He looks over to the corpse and barks a couple times.

You can’t resist the urge and reach out to pet him. He lets you for a bit, but ducks out of it to whimper next to the corpse. He doesn’t want to leave the dead man’s side. You reach out your hand in an offer for if he wants more pets. He sniffs at you, but doesn’t do more. 

“When you’re ready, you can follow our scent back to camp,” Tav tells Scratch. Whether the dog understood or not, only time will tell.

“Is that smoke?” As you were about to go back to the trail, Shadowheart turned your attention to the north.

Small pillars of smoke could be seen in the near sky, as if a bunch of small campfires had been lit close together.

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and where there’s fire, there’s Karlach,” Wyll spits out the devil’s name. “We have to go stop her before she wreaks havoc!”

He doesn’t let anyone get a word in before he’s dashing to the north. Everyone is quick to catch up to him, except you. You’re stuck in the rear, body tired and muscles complaining. You’re quick to come across a river, but Wyll is quick to jump from stone to submerged stone to make it across. Everyone was quick to jump across, leaving only you on the other side. You lifted your walking stick so that it wouldn’t touch the water and made your way to the edge of the boulder, even as it began to submerge, leaving you in ankle deep water. The gap looked to be about a meter. ‘I’m sure I can at least jump that far, right?’ You take a few steps back to get a running start. You charge and leap. {Athletics = 9, Failure}. Your foot lands on the opposing submerged boulder on the other side. You’ve made it! That is, until your foot slips and you fall backwards, into the water. A hand is quick to enclose around your forearm and yanks you back up, but not before your entire backside hits the water, leaving you dripping and cold.

“Do not slow us down, istik,” Lae’zel reprimands you as she lets go of your arm, having been the one to catch you.

[Sorry.] {Performance = 13, Success}.

“There’s a blood trail along the river bank,’ Wyll, having climbed out of the river, points out , now able to see the surrounding landscape.

You climb up more rocks to get on the same level as him, though he’s already started moving, leading the party to where the trail of blood goes. The river bank trail is soon headed off by a cliff, but the trail instead continues across the river via a fallen log for a bridge. That’s when you see her. The stunning woman whose visage your tadpole downloaded from Wyll’s brain straight into yours.

‘She’s here in person. She won’t disappear like smoke in the wind this time. I can stare all I want!’ She’s beautiful and looks strong enough to break you in half with her thighs alone. You’re enthralled. And then you remember your deal with your patron. ‘Nooooooo, I completely forgot! Aww, man. Well, a deal’s a deal.” You balance your stick against your shoulder and get ready to summon your instrument to cast Illusory Script.

«You’re lucky.» Astaroth’s voice halts your movements. «She’s a tiefling, not a devil. You don’t have to use your pick up line on her.»

‘Oh thank fuck!’ You practically sag in relief, grabbing back onto your staff with both hands.

You watch as Wyll and Tav cross the log and approach the tiefling woman, who does seem to be the source of the smoke. Afterall, she’s completely engulfed in flames, now crouching down and hunched over, head clutched in her hands, her back facing you. She looks like she’s in extreme pain.

“One horn. The stink of Avernus. Advocatus diaboli,” Wyll says as he stands over her curled form.

“Well I’ll be godsdamned,” she looks over her shoulder at him. “The Blade of Frontiers. Thought I’d shaken you for good. That’ll teach me to underestimate you.” The flames coming from her sputter out, leaving only small bits leaking out of her skin and licking her fingertips as she stands up to look Wyll in the eye.

‘...Tieflings don’t normally secrete fire from their pores, right?’

«No, they normally do not.»

‘Well, I guess that makes her even more hot, don’t you think?’

«…You know what. Just for that awful pun, I think you should still use that spell for her. Don’t worry, you don’t need to say that vile line, but with how much you’ve been, how do you say it? Simping? For her? How about you just flirt with her anyways.»

‘What? I can’t do that! I’ve never flirted with anyone before!’

«…Pft…Heh… Haha… hahhaha!» Astaroth tries to stifle his laughter, but he fails in the end.

‘Hey! Shut up! My anxiety isn’t my fault!’

«Sorry-ha - sorry, you’re just very fun to tease and I haven’t had a chance to banter like this in a long time.»

‘You’re lucky I like you,’ you’re quiet for a moment, then sigh. ‘But, I suppose there is something I can say to her. Not gonna use a spell though. It’ll be embarrassing if she understands me.’

“You’re the devil we’ve been hunting: Karlach, right?” Tav joins the tense conversation between hunter and not-actually-a-devil quarry.

“Bloody right,” Karlach confirms. “An honor to be chased by the Blade of Frontiers, but- agh!” She’s cut off by the pain of the tadpole acting up, her memories being shared with you.

It’s an intense, fiery heat, mirrored in the images of the hells flowing into you. You see armies of demons, a landscape of fire and blood, her read hands holding a great axe, tearing through body after body of the foes coming towards her.

«The Blood War.» Astaroth explains, his voice leaving a residual emptiness, the tone of someone who has been emotionally and mentally exhausted to the point of numbness. «A war between demons and devils that has been ongoing for eons.»

Karlach shakes her head as she’s freed from the tadpole’s sudden activness, “What was that?”

“Evidence. Proof that you’re a devil, a gladiator in the archdevil Zariel’s army,” Wyll pulls out his rapier and points it at her before falling into a battle-ready stance.

“I can explain, but it’s a whole situation. If you would just hear me out-” Karlach is cut off by her tadpole connecting with everyone else’s again.

You see her slicing through devils this time, not demons. She’s frantic, looking for a way out. She’s just a victim.

“She’s trying to trick us,” Wyll says. “Don’t believe her lies.”

“You saw the truth. I never wanted to serve Zariel. I was enlisted in her army against my will. Forced to fight, and fight I did.” Karlach’s eyes turn sad and pleading. “When I saw an opportunity to get away, I took it. I’m finally home- or near it, anyway.”

“You served her,” Wyll remains adamant on his position. “That’s enough to damn you.”

‘Woah, hey, let’s slow down a bit. This is sounding a whole lot like victim blaming and we’re not into that.’

“Stand down, Wyll,” Tav places a hand on his arm, enticing him to lower his sword. “You saw what I saw.”

He turns to Tav, not relaxing just yet. “You don’t know what your saying! You’re asking me to trust a devil!”

“Gods, you’re stubborn. Karlach’s not a devil, and you know it.”

“Listen to some sense, now,” Karlach adds. “I don’t want this to end badly for either of us. You know monsters, right? Better than anyone. Look into my eyes. Can’t you see I’m not what you think?”

“Shit,” He curses as he puts his blade away. “You really are no devil, are you? I’ve… I’ve been deceived.”

Karlach sighs out a breath of relief, “Thank the gods. Thought I was going to have to take your head.”

“You would have died in the attempt. But- there have been enough threats today.”

“Truce then, hey?”

“Aye. Truce.”

Karlach addresses the rest of your party, now that the tension has diffused. “I’m Karlach- but you already knew that. And you are…?”

Everyone states their names one at a time. You do as well, but add a little more.

“Mama warned me about women like you… I was hoping she was right”

Karlach looks at you confused, “Sorry soldier, but I won’t be able to remember all that.”

They’re (Y/N),” Tav explains. “They can’t speak common though, so I hope you're good at charades.”

“You can’t speak common? Not everyday you meet someone like that. Either way, well me. Nice to meet some friendlies around here. It’s been tough going so far. I may not be a devil, but I can put the Blade’s reputation to work. How would you feel about helping me kill some evil bastards? A little background, if your moral compass needs something to point at: You already know I fought in the Blood War. I was good. Really good. Turns out I’ve got a knack for killing demons. That made me a valuable asset. Zariel- the archdevil herself- made me as her personal attack dog. I played along until I could get the fuck out of there, but devils don’t like to lose their assets. Zariel liked it so little, she sent a bunch of goons, so-called ‘Paladins of Tyr,’ to take me back. Problem is, I’m not going.”

“Let’s send them back where they came from,” Tav accepts Karlach’s proposal.

“Fuck yes. They cornered me outside the tollhouse just up the hill. Doubt they’ve gone far after the scorching I gave ‘em. Then we can work on evicting this parasite and take Faerûn by the short hairs. Sound good?”

“She’s almost as scary as you, Lae’zel,” Astarion comments with a smirk. “So naturally she gets my vote.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tav agrees.

“I’d hug you if it wouldn’t scorch your skin off,” Karlach grins brightly. “Phew, I’m getting all het up. Let’s make tracks!”

Do you guys like the battle descriptions, or would you prefer I only do them during significant fights, like boss battles/fights with significant story consequences? Take the poll here: Click me!

We’re doing contested rolls to see if our protag is aware of their habitual action of taking out their phone when they're bored. It’s a perception roll vs. a straight roll. Whenever I, as the author, stop writing and habitually reach for my phone for no good reason, I’m going to roll some dice. Be prepared, our protagonist could be found out at any time.

[random-introverted-blog]

Read your answer the second you posted it basically! I meant to answer but mulled over nicknames. Used a thing to make your account name  Anagrams. It’s in the end.  This has been living in my head rent free. 

Shadowheart def deserved more cute assist lines. Yeah, they all deserve causal flirting. Wyll and Karlach are the cutest! 

Post game definitely works for them. Slowwwwburrrrrrrrn. A lot of stuff goes ‘lemme go back to a previous save real quick, bae.’ XD

Bending things for canon is really so entertaining. 

AA would really be an ass bout it but would take you back. He does say he misses Tav in epilogue. He is still pretty obsessed. Also there was another thing that says he thinks about Tav a lot but is too prideful to seek them out: 

Asty and SH having Tav as a shared ex would be so crazy. Them being like ‘We’re so happy without Tav’ (at first. Pettiness) . Then them being ‘surprise pikachu face’ when they actually do get over Tav and fall for each other.

I have so many work in progress fics. SH deserves more fics l! 

I just adore chatting with you! You’re so fun and sweet. Might actually just dm you one day but let’s see!

Get you a couple that can do all three! I love the random funny bits that can ensue. They think they’re all that but would do cringey and funny stuff too.

The ‘I mentally plotted and planned a lot but didn’t see this coming at all’ is so funny to think about. 

Asty would be like why did this happen again (his track record of accidentally falling for Tav before). He’d be extremely possessive and extra. Definitely would be like ‘You won’t be getting rid of me ever, Jen.’.

Both are will try and avoid making the same mistakes.

Batstarion shenanigans and him just being even more chaotic and silly and just trying to accompany her ‘undercover’ though it’s like it’s a dead giveaway and everyone’s ‘that’s your vampire boo isn’t it?’. 

Also the trying to be suave and being silly and caught off. 

Astarion would have a rivalry with Shar in a way ngl. He’s like that’s my girl just so we’re clear. Vampire Bride! Dark Justiciar! SH would be soooo extra. SH would find a way to keep power over him too somehow. A and SH would have a super back and forth, push and pull dynamic. They’d really have a long game. Super powerful both of them. Accidental equals and evil power couple.

The possibilities are truly endless. It’s great to speculate and indulge in what ifs! You’re very inspiring.

A song that suits both of em is ‘Can’t fight the moonlight’ by LeAnn Rimes. 

‘Can’t remember to forget you’ by Shakira suits em too (plus the players who can’t get over em. It’s like let’s do a new route! Gravitates towards Asty and SH still. Shame you can’t poly with them together. But I get it would be a lot of work and that’s why). 

That’s so nice of you. To be like ‘the stories I want aren’t out there’s gotta make them and cater to other fans too’. Your ideas are so fun and smart. Your writing style is so engaging. The angst and  potential and exploring stuff is everything.

Congrats on the followers and you deserve even more! It’s so cool to think bout! 30 people is a lot! 

For the nickname, I settled on Wenona!

I hope you don’t mind it? Hawthorne, Arya, Honey, Heather, Wendy, Dorothy, Howard, Shanon, Anthony, Reyna, Thea, Ashton, Rosanna, Rowena, Sandra, Sherwood were the other options. All of them are so posh! 

- bloodmoon anon

Always a pleasure to hear from you, bloodmoon!

I'm flattered you put so much effort into coming up with a name! I'm used to the only flattery coming from my partner, but they're biased. I could write the equivalent of Mirkons story when you save him and they'd still say "that's beautiful, my love" yes I'm calling you out, babe, I know you're reading this.

THAT SAID.

The lack of cute/sassy assist lines is part of why I wrote Deny Me Not Your Heart. The other part is I see all this hurt/comfort/injury stuff and no one is writing these for Shadowheart SHES THE HEALER GUYS, THINK ABOUT IT.

I think a post-game slow burn is the only solid way for an Ast and SH fic, at least for me. I'm sure you or others are more creative in that regard than me.

You don't want to know how many saves I have stacked up on my PS5 only to do it all over again to my Xbox now lmao.

Bending canon is what makes us fanfiction writers, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. It's an art of balancing canon and the characters to what your vision is. A well done fanfiction is one that is almost indistinguishable from the actual story. That blurs the lines between canon and fan content. I wrote a whole speech that I had to cut to keep this from getting too long but short version, yes it is very fun bending canon!

I heard about the too prideful thing but I believe that was a cut epilogue card so whether it's canon is up for debate. But yes, he is pretty obsessed and I'm here for it.

A story with Tav as a shared ex would be very interesting! That's sort of the concept behind my longfic but instead of falling in love with each other, Ascended and Dark Justiciar end up having a Yandere 1v1 over their ex. But for the sake of discussion, let's say Astarion and Shadowheart end up fake dating to spite Tav but end up falling in love together instead. Sounds like an interesting prompt!

I'm more of a Tav shipper myself, if my content is anything to go by. But I agree, Shadowheart deserves more content!

Aw, I enjoy chatting with you too! My DM's are open if you or anyone feels like hitting me up and discussing fanfic, if you'd rather not send it as an ask that gets posted to over 30 followers. I'm getting busier lately, so my responses may be slower but I'm always trying to respond to things asap! So if you or anyone else wants a more private conversation to discuss bg3 ideas or some such, don't hesitate! I'll bounce ideas back as best I can. I will say my ideas/concepts are primarily Astarion and Shadowheart though.

Ascended and Dark Justiciar accidentally falling in love due to not planning for the outcome is hilarious and, for Astarion, very much in character! It's established several times that intelligent as he is, he's not the greatest at planning ahead so him catching feelings for Sharran Shadowheart after manipulating her into a tactical alliance (spongebob fish anchor voice: when will he learn?) rings of...

And after losing Tav, he definitely would be way worse in the possessive department of Shadowheart.

"Is that your vampire fiancee, Mother Superior? He's quite adorable!"

Angry chirping translation: ADORABLE? NO, I AM VENGENCE! I AM DOMINATION INCARNATE! I COMMAND THE NIGHT!

Shadowheart: he is, isn't he? And he's all mine.

More angry chirping: YOURE MINE! MINE, I SAID! MINE!

So with Shadowheart having access to memory magic, she would need to subdue him, tie him up and laser guide amnesia his ass. You can even manipulate or modify his existing memories, if you go by Shadowheart initially believing the Sharrans saved her from that wolf and didn't abduct her from her loving parents.

Aww, I'm so glad I'm inspiring you guys! This is the reason I started this little blog and to see it helping people in any way is what keeps me going! Thank you so much for your support, I really am beyond words for how grateful I am for you and the others!

I discovered many years ago that if there's a story you want to see, sometimes you have to create it yourself! And if you want it, other people do too! So you sort of bring together your own little club of likeminded people! Case and point, us and this blog! It's always reassuring to hear my writing is engaging, I'm one of countless writers who always feels inadequate and insufficient, especially after I read other people's work.

You can call me whatever you want within reason, of course. So long as it's nothing malicious, harassing or bullying. My partner may have some choice words about people calling me honey though 🤔 Wenona and Hawthorne are nice too! But really, it's whatever you want. My blog is to serve. Not the other way around.

And if I take a little while replying to your asks please don't think I'm ignoring you. I try to set aside enough time to fully read and respond whatever I see posted/replied somewhere when it feels appropriate!

Think I replied to everything in your ask... Sorry if I missed something!

-newly named Wenona/Hawthorne/Whatever else you wanna call me! ❤️

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

for Majexatli

lae'zel 5. Did your character influence Lae’zel into staying loyal to or rejecting Vlaakith? How did this affect their relationship with her? shadowheart 4. What did your character think about Shadowheart’s devotion to Shar, including her memory sacrificing? astarion 4. Did your character help Astarion uncover the nature of his scars through Raphael? Why or why not? gale 3. What did your character think about Gale’s romance with Mystra? wyll 3. What did your character think about Wyll’s relationship with his father? Did they help Wyll save his father and repair their bond, or did Duke Ravengard die? karlach 4. How did your character feel about Karlach using soul coins? Did they give her any? halsin 3. When Halsin asked your character to share something personal, what did they say? minthara 1. What motivated your character to initially spare or side with Minthara, then later rescue her from Moonrise Tower? jaheira 2. How did your character react to Jaheira attempting to get your character to drink truth serum? minsc bonus. What did Majexatli think of the guardian spirits of the Sleeing Lands Minsc described? What about his opinions of their Baldur's Gate equivalents?

Did your character influence Lae’zel into staying loyal to or rejecting Vlaakith? How did this affect their relationship with her?

I don't think Majexatli tried to influence Lae'zel, honestly, they let her decide and process things and just was there alongside her for it. Before meeting Lae'zel, Majexatli didn't know like, anything about the Githyanki or Vlaakith, and they're mindful of their lack of knowledge. From the beginning, they've been very supportive of Lae'zel and whatever choices she makes and thinks is best--they agree to go to the Creche, they are very respectful and interested in what Lae'zel shares about her people, they have no reason to be hostile or wary of it all, especially when Lae'zel is so strong in her beliefs.

When the things unfold at the creche and in the prism and Majexatli sees the whole picture, they're actually quite sympathetic towards Lae'zel. Majexatli has some experience with being abandoned/forsaken by a god, given their history with Silvanus. They understand devotion and how Majexatli trying to argue with her wouldn't help things, so they allow Lae'zel to take charge and decide what she wants. And, as they expected, when left to decide for herself, Lae'zel eventually realized the truth and rejected Vlaakith, though she I think relied on Majexatli for some support.

As for how it affects their relationship, I think it's part of the foundation of their relationship. Majexatli being there to support whatever choice Lae'zel makes I think is what helps change their relationship from "allies that hook-up with no strings attached" to something deeper and more complicated.

What did your character think about Shadowheart’s devotion to Shar, including her memory sacrificing?

From the beginning, Majexatli wasn't really opposed to Shadowheart's worship of Shar. I mean, Majexatli themselves worships and Evil god, so they aren't about to judge. Especially when for Majexatli, worshipping Malar was important to their freedom and survival. And I think that Majexatli is slightly biased to look at Shadowheart's worship of Shar in a similar war at first, or at least that they assume that is what's happening and look for confirmation.

The memory sacrificing I think is like, a bit borderline for them. Because on the one hand, they also know what it's like to have a religious practice other people think is extreme or wrong, so they sympathize there. But on the other hand, I think the combination of the memory sacrificing and the wound on her hand uneases Majexatli a bit. After everything with Althyran, Majexatli struggles to find anything holy in suffering. That along with seeing Shadowheart's memory (and recognizing the potential Selune connection) and seeing Shadowheart herself seem to hesitate or question her faith I think eventually solidifies for Majexatli that Shar worship might not be the best path for Shadowheart, but like with Lae'zel, they don't want to make decisions for her.

Did your character help Astarion uncover the nature of his scars through Raphael? Why or why not?

Yeah, they did jsdjlflsdlfks. Majexatli was able to translate them a bit, enough to recognize that it was part of an infernal pact (though their infernal isn't the best). And for better or for worse, Majexatli respects everyone's autonomy and ideas. With Astarion especially, I think they know that if they tried to say no that it wouldn't change his mind. While Majexatli is wary, they really do want to help Astarion, so when be brings his plan to ask Raphael, Majexatli is a bit wary but agrees. And they help him kill the devil for Raphael (and die in the process, which adds some fun angst to the whole thing).

What did your character think about Gale’s romance with Mystra?

Man.

I think Majexatli is uncomfortably reminded of Althyran. Because... I mean, while Althyran wasn't a god, he was their mentor when they were a teen who eventually became their lover in a way that felt Wrong and Manipulative. So I think Majexatli has a negative view of it and sees it as Mystra doing something kinda fucked up and manipulative and taking advantage of power dynamics.

What did your character think about Wyll’s relationship with his father? Did they help Wyll save his father and repair their bond, or did Duke Ravengard die?

Answered here!

How did your character feel about Karlach using soul coins? Did they give her any?

I don't even think it really crossed their mind not to give Karlach soul coins, honestly. Mechanically I always forget to use them while playing, but they don't see any issue with her using them. I suppose someone could have objections, but Majexatli doesn't always have the best morals, given that they're a Malarite. The souls are in the coins whether or not they're used, if Karlach didn't use them, the coins would still exist with the souls trapped inside them, and Karlach is using them for a good reason to do good.

When Halsin asked your character to share something personal, what did they say?

I think Majexatli tries to be honest but is also avoiding speaking about you know, the fact that they aren't a druid really or the fact that they're a Malarite.

So I imagine they say something along the lines of "I've spent more of my life in wildshape than I have outside of it, being in my own skin so often and around so many people is something new and a bit uncomfortable for me,"

What motivated your character to initially spare or side with Minthara, then later rescue her from Moonrise Tower?

Despite the Everything about Majexatli, they went into the goblin camp not wanting to kill any people more than necessary. With Minthara I think specifically they spared her for a few reasons maybe. One being that they confronted her after they had the first Dream Visitor dream, which Really Fucked Majexatli Up. So they were quite out of sorts, and I think having some doubts in their mind about what they were doing. Their dream visitor took the form of Althyran, which was a good tactical choice for the most part on its behalf, but it also came with the fact that 20 years down the line, Majexatli is sometimes able to recongize just how messed up their relationship was and that Althyran was Not a Good Person.

So I think sparing Minthara was a moment of hesitation on their part, mixed with dealing with complex emotions and already having decided to only kill when absolutely necessary.

As for why to save her at Moonrise, I think. Well, Minthara failed the Absolute and Kethric because of Majexatli. And they see that sparing her just means that now she will meet a crueler end. And when they see how she gets punished, being completely erased and having her mind broken until she's a husk, they really don't think anyone deserves that fate. And, tactically, they know that she would be a powerful ally and could come to their side now that the Absolute has turned on her.

How did your character react to Jaheira attempting to get your character to drink truth serum?

Oh they 1000% thought Jaheira was trying to poison them because of the fact that, you know, they're a malarite which is kind of an enemy of Harpers and Druids, not to mention the fact that they have a mindlflayer parasite. So when they realize she's just giving them a truth serum, they're surprised and a bit relieved, especially because just... they're a terrible liar anyways. They have 10 charisma or smth, they don't have any skill there until they take the Actor feat in Act 3 iirc.

For as bad as a liar they are, Majexatli is skilled at talking around the truth, so I think that was also a source of relief, in knowing that even being forced to tell the truth they could avoid telling the truth still.

I do imagine later on though, that Jaheira singles them out one-on-one and tries to pry more information out of them because it's clear they're hiding stuff.

What did Majexatli think of the guardian spirits of the Sleeping Lands Minsc described? What about his opinions of their Baldur's Gate equivalents?

Majexatli has spent most of their life far from cities, and has a druidic background, so I think they are 🫱🏾‍🫲🏽 on the idea that there are spirits in every rock, root, and tree and the fact that Baldur's Gate feels quiet in that sense. They also have spent their life much further north than Baldur's Gate, so I think they kind of can relate to the difference between Home and Baldur's Gate.

I honestly haven't interacted too much with Minsc so I unfortunately don't have that much to say lmao

[bloodweavefangnatic]

BG3 Headcanons

Each companion becomes a surrogate family member to the others, taking on sibling, parental, or even older cousin roles. For example, Wyll acts as a protective big brother, while Karlach might become the encouraging, slightly chaotic aunt.

Post-game, the party might start researching mind flayers to try and help those who’ve been transformed. This could involve trips to ancient libraries or hidden cultist lairs in search of lore or magical artifacts.

Post-game, the party might start researching mind flayers to try and help those who’ve been transformed. This could involve trips to ancient libraries or hidden cultist lairs in search of lore or magical artifacts.

The group has a secret, harmless “roast night” ritual. Every week, they do a humorous impersonation of another party member’s quirks and combat style. Gale’s dramatic spell incantations, Astarion’s vampire theatrics, and Shadowheart’s stealthy one-liners are all top-tier material.

Everyone who ever has/had a problem all turn to Astarion for legal assistance (which he “annoyed” with reminding them that he WAS a magistrate- the word being past tense 🤣)

During Act 2 because of the lack of blood sources all 10 companions chipped in to help Astarion with his “dietary requirements” (meaning everyone pretty much offered their veins for him)

Gale:

• Temporarily took up druidic magic whilst dealing with the Absolute cult (yes I made Gale part druid so he could do the Rite of Timeless Body 🤣)

• Most likely is on the autism spectrum (more so on the Aspergers side rather than the autism side- considering he’s intellect is much higher)

• Has a type for immortals and those who can cast magic 🤣

• He definitely joined The Society of Brilliance (post game) as a hobby

* Has daddy issues (and is a mommy’s boy)

• Elminster is secretly Gale’s father (I mean wizards can live a VERY long time and was most likely called away from his family to do Mystra’s bidding as her Chosen)

<> Not to mention his personality is very similar to Gale’s; the way he pauses when reluctant to say something, both do a head tilt (either they’re related or Gale has just copied his mannerisms 🤣)

Also they’ve got very similar eye shape

• Definitely has a magic kink when it comes to sexual activity 🤣 (this is somewhat confirmed canonically — or at very least heavily implied )

• Is forced to learn Druidic Magic when Arabella accidentally shapeshifts (?)

<> Either that or she gets into trouble for stealing something enough to make the place go on lockdown (so yeah worse than stealing the statue of Silvanus 😂)

• Whenever he starts pining for his ex-girlfriend (pre-relationship with the player) he always delves himself into knowledge or fictional books

<> I can confirm because I’ve done/doing the exact same thing whenever I don’t want think about unpleasant memory I always distract myself with my interests 😭 (which is probably why he regales — pun intended— with the whole “I can’t sleep with you because of the orb” excuse, when really he did that exact thing in Act 2 😂

Astarion:

• He was a wizard (necromancy) before he was turned into a vampire and converted to being a rogue

• Eats - drinks - intermittently between “meals” (I’ve noticed when playing the game 5% of the time the option of “You can feed on me if you like” doesn’t come up so either that he’s full or it’s just a bug - I like to think it’s the former lol)

Theory: Maybe it’s because he’s worried about the player’s declining health - from blood loss - so he “skips” a few days at the very least

• Due to trauma has dissociation disorder (more canon than hc)

Trigger: If the player sleeps with the drow twins, Halsin or Shadowheart (determinant) as well their partner

• Born into nobility before being turned into a vampire and was forced into servitude for two centuries

• He’s afraid of clowns / stage fright (either that or he was just irritated by the player asking him to go up on stage 😂)

• Has a soft spot for animals, — even if he won’t admit it — especially stray cats. They’re kindred spirits to him; independent, nocturnal, and resourceful. (Which means he’d most likely get along with Tara really well 🤭)

• He made up with his spawn-kin and promised to keep in touch for business — leading the other seven thousand spawns in the Underdark — to begin with before slowly building an authentic familial bond

• Doesn’t actually remember his real birthday so picks a day (most likely picked a day either after the Grand Design was destroyed or the day he defeated Cazador but stayed as a spawn — giving a whole new meaning to the word “rogue” lol 😂)

• Whilst under the servitude of Cazador; Astarion was forced to help him with legal matters (and if he said ‘no’ he’d be severely punished)

• Post game Astarion gets inspired by Jaheria’s Harper cavalry so in the Underdark he creates one of his own called the “Nightshades” (you know because they’re vampires 😂)

<> The only way this would work is if he stays a spawn but is the leader of the other vampires.

• Likes to have slow tantric sex (especially after he had healed his trauma), and becomes less and less performative in bed; learning to just be with his partner without requirements in return

• During the interaction between the Emperor and the player. Astarion immediately knew that the former was similar to Cazador (minus the physical side of things but verbal or physical abuse is abuse regardless) and started to become apprehensive— you can’t see him in the back of the party if you have more than 4 people for your mod — around the mind flayer etc

Conclusion: I mean I wouldn’t put it past Astarion since he straight up picked up Malrus Thorm’s sadism in Act 2 acknowledging that and I quote “he’s just like Cazador” so I guess the same thing could apply here? I mean his INT is 13+ for a reason 😂)

• Most likely was just straight before turning into a vampire and being forced into servitude

• Would like to keep his surname especially when it comes to marriage (which make sense because he has lost everything to Cazador except the clothes on his back and his surname)

Shadowheart:

• She would pick up small, random items she finds on her journeys. They remind her of places she’s been or people she’s met, like tiny shells, feathers, or peculiar stones.

• To process her complex emotions and internal conflicts — between Act 2 and before entering Act 3 — she writes poems in a hidden journal. They’re dark and mysterious, like her, but sometimes reveal a longing for peace and love. (She hides them from Gale in particular knowing he’s a sucker for poems and doesn’t want to strike up a conversation about it 😂)

Wyll:

• Even though he had a complicated relationship with his father, he still pens unsent letters to him. Full of the things he wished he could say — apologies, updates on his journey, and occasional expressions of pride. (Let’s say Mizora allowed him to do this purely out of entertainment if nothing else)

Halsin:

• He is a great storyteller about his time in the Emerald Grove (like a doting grandfather 😂) — exaggerates particularly when it comes to the mention of his allyship with his companions when dealing with the Absolute

• He was possibly a Barbarian (or something similar with the same strength) in his past life before turning to Druidic magic

Karlach:

• Like Gale — she feels she’s not “mother material” (despite compromising with the player to get a really mean goat) she’s always wanted to be a mother and has a soft spot for children deep down

• For morning rituals she is the workout queen of the group, and often drags Lae’zel into sparring practice at the crack of dawn.

• Her influence encourages the creation of a sanctuary specifically for tieflings who’ve been wronged or marginalised , turning a piece of the world into a haven for infernal-touched outcasts looking to reclaim their identities.

• Ever since getting her second upgrade she was definitely living up to her belated “slut era” 😂 🤭 (even though canonically she’s monogamous)

• During her time in the Hells she adopted a habit of collecting things (particularly teddy bears) so she would feel that little bit less lonely — now she brings one after every adventure for a souvenir

• Ever since escaping Zariel’s service she decided to enlist as a Harper (both so she could do some good and hang out with her favourite hero)

Lae’zel:

• With her rebelling against Vlaakith and Orpheus dead — both determinant — she challenges the goddess’s for the throne (without evil ascension involved 🤭)

• She enjoys hearty food and drinks, especially after a battle. It’s new for her since Githyanki doesn’t usually indulge. She wouldn’t admit it, but there’s a hint of happiness when she digs into a big meal, like it’s another kind of victory.

Jaheira:

• Due to her druidic nature she sometimes uses traditional medicinal remedies to those who are hurt (she shares her time between herself — as a herbalist —, Shadowheart, and Minthara (so there’s more than one healer in the group)

• She self-assigns herself as “mother-hen” of the group and would often support or oppose the idea (depending what the leader of the party is doing) and would give motherly advice to regardless who it is

<> I’m aware that this is already heavily implied canonically but wanted to extend it further

• Post game she decided there was enough druids in the group so she takes up being a witch (which really suits her, her energy, and witch-esque personality 🤭)

Minsc:

• Boo is actually like Tara (only the owner can understand, but all the others hear animal noises)

Ships:

Fieryblade (Karlach x Wyll):

• Karlach definitely learnt and used Mage Hand

• They both role play their first encounter as a form of foreplay (which actually looks semi-canon — determined on your choices — in Karlach’s original run🤣 )

Bloodweave (Astarion x Gale)

• Gale and Astarion definitely adopted Arabella - post game- and officially “moved in” with them (possibly as Gale’s apprentice) after her parents died 🥹

• Astarion loves (and prefers) Gale’s updo hairstyle — so he can have the excuse to put it out when in a heated kiss 🤣

• Gale eats more salt (cons to being romantically involved with a vampire 😂) to make sure his blood pressure so it doesn’t go down too low

<> Background: After a misfortune event that happened and because as an autistic one can become a people pleaser (and he definitely is canonically) he allowed to be sucked dry to death and had to be brought back by Withers

• They often play strip chess (like a tantric version — due to Astarion’s trauma — of Strip Poker but with chess 🤣) - which kinda fits with both of their personalities

• Gale often annoys his husband/boyfriend (determinant) deliberately by doing an Transylvanian accent much much to Astarion’s chagrin

[yourfavsinbg3]

Honor Mode Live Blog Part 3

Late night update!! wooo!! (part 2 here! go catch up, you!)

This update is slightly differently formatted than previous, because this is when I fought my first Honor Mode Boss (TM). The Phase Spider Matriarch has always been a scary fight for me because I have a habit of rushing in too early and very unprepared. This time, solidly at level 4, with an abundance of supplies, I figured I was ready to take her on.

Jesus christ was I wrong.

See, this being the first Honor Mode Boss means that it's also my first encounter with legendary actions. And the Matriarch's legendary is fuckin scary, y'all.

I also didn't realize that the spider's were able to see invisibility in honor mode. I'd like to say my lack of research and out of game preparation is me purposefully adding an extra layer of challenge, but really I'm just lazy. (This also means I'll be going into future boss fights with the same amount of fear and anxiety! Thank god for stealth scouting.)

The plan was to set up three people with alchemists fires, lob that onto the the eggs, and take care of all three groups before the queen realizes what's happened. A nice bonus would've been burning the web from under the Matriarch and dealing shittons of falling damage. So I got Lae'zel, Wyll, and Lyra set up with the potions, Shadowheart on standby with her IGNIS to take care of the web where the Matriarch patrols. I sent an invisible Shovel down to take care of the closest phase spider, aaannnd immediate initiative rolls. No surprise round. This was when I realized they all had see invisibility, and the panic set in. See, when the Matriarch joins combat, she makes her eggs hatch. I would not win a fight where I'm that throughouly outnumbered, and panic swiped at one of the hatchlings with Shovel. (The other party members were still on standby; ngl, I think I forgot about them for a second in the panic.) This, in turn, triggered 'Gossamer Tomb'. I had a rapidfire rollercoaster of emotions over the next few rounds of combat; first, relief that my party could still throw fire on the other two clutches of eggs. Then, elation I'd made the Matriarch waste her legendary action. If she didn't do that, I'd be okay! Then, the horrible realization: it refreshes.

Most of the fight is a haze from there; Shovel got webbed and exploded, panic made maneuvering Lae'zel tricky, Shadowheart went down twice, Wyll could not hit an eldritch blast to save his life... I came out of the haze almost half an hour later, having spend six total alchemist fires, my own spider egg, two potions of haste, too many health potions to count; but, critically, I also used a Sleeping Potion.

See, I forgot I had the potion so I didn't bother considering it in my preparations. Reader, that damn potion saved my life.

I was cornered by the last Phase Spider and the Matriarch. The Matriarch was low on health, but not enough to be killed before her next turn. The Phase Spider was a breath away from death, but out of range and ranged attacks kept missing. I couldn't move anyone far enough to be out of the range of their venomous discharge and both Lyra and Shadowheart (our dedicated healers) were on their last legs. In a panic, I threw the potion of Sleep on the Matriarch; and out of all luck, she failed her constitution save.

Three rounds. I had three rounds to kill the other spider and heal up. This turned out to be more than enough. When not being chased by a giant Spider Queen from my nightmares, it was much easier to kill a single spider. From there, it was simple enough to gank the Matriarch and claim a victory.

Miraculously, everyone survived. Protip: getting the entire party as close as possible before throwing a haste or health potion at their feet is a game changer. Up to four people hasted for the price of one! What's not to like?

But yes. After this fight, I was exhausted and headed off to a well earned long rest. And took a BG3 break for a couple days. I'm not even sure where I plan to go next; I was going to do Ethel, but now I'm terrified.

[bloodandscreaming]

I wrote some soft p0rn of Astarion and one of my tavs Ornvyr, if you don't want to read some smut keep scrolling. Also pls don't come for me if it's bad, I haven't really worked on writing anything in a long time, I just got high and was thinking about them in the graveyard after Cazador.

INCLUDES SPOILERS!!

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"Ornvyr, I want this, I want it with you." "Astarion, I want this, too." I leaned forward to caress his cheek, no longer able to contain the smile on my face. "I knew from day one that it would be you, it's always been you." "Somehow I knew it, too. But I was hesitant to admit it. Then you chose me over Wyll, I could hardly belive it. Why would someone as wonderful as you choose me over him, someone who could give you a much better life than I, the life you deserve.. and I want to thank you properly for talking me down at the ritual. I wasn't truly myself, I wasn't thinking properly but as always you were there to help show me what was best. You've truly had the best intentions for me at heart and I'll take the next century thanking you for standing by my side and believing in me." "'Star, I've never been as skilled with words but I knew from the day we met, that despite your apparent willingness to stab me before even asking my name, that you'd be different. I won't even attempt to say I understand your pain and awful things you've been through but I do understand pain and I understand difficult times and what it means to struggle. I've never been very understood but you understand the unspoken things, the things that we're too afraid to speak about and that's the connection I've missed all my life. Choosing you over Wyll should mean nothing to you because to me there was never a choice, it's always been you. I frankly didn't realize our little dance under the stars meant something more to him, maybe a lack of insight on my part but I was just enjoying some time with a friend. I do feel for Wyll but he's more of my brother, there's no one in my past or my present that I've ever held such feelings for, they're unlike any I've experienced before. I love you, Astarion, and there's no one I'd rather have by my side."

For a second I thought I could see a tear in his eye. "V, I love you." He leaned in and pressed his lips gently to mine. It had been a bit since we'd been intimate, the looming threat of Cazador had had us all on edge but now that he was taken care of we could relax just a bit before continuing on with mission to finding Orin and getting her stone before going after Gortash. Maybe we couldn't take a long break but we all deserved at least one good night's rest before continuing on again. My blood was boiling and my skin on fire the moment he touched me. I instantly moaned into our kiss and then pulled away. "I'm sorry, you're just too perfect every time, Star." He chuckled and caressed my cheek with a whisper light touch. "It has been some time, I apologize my love. But you've done me a great service in aiding me in my fight against Cazador, let me repay that service with one of my own."

He gently pushed me towards headstone and laid me on the dirt. Straddling me he laid feather light kisses along my jawline and down my throat. He licked the still healing bite from the last time I'd let him feed. I nodded and stretched my neck in invitation. He kissed the bite before gently sinking his fangs into my throat once more, quickly moving his hand to cover my mouth and stifle the moan that I failed to contain. Chuckling, he sat up, "You must be quieter than that my dear. We're in the graveyard after all, not the middle of the woods." I shrugged, "I'll try better but you drive me insane and I'm dying to have you."

He licked the blood trail that had formed on my neck and then nipped at my ear. The action sent shivers throughout my entire body and I bucked up against him. Even the smallest amount of friction was almost overwhelming, my erection strained against my pants and was very obvious. "Star, I'm going to be honest in saying that I'm not the gods' strongest barbarian tonight and I'm not going to last very long." "Oh my dear there's no shame in that, it's quite flattering frankly that you're so desperate for me." "Astarion I am starving for you." "Oh V, then let me devour you."

I don't know how he removed my clothes so quickly but I was very thankful for the blanket I laid on. The air was quite warm but the fire in the pit of my stomach burned hotter than any fire spell you could cast. Before I could beg he stuffed my underwear into my mouth, laughing at my surprise. "Hush now dear, we can't have you alerting the night guard, now can we?" Trailing kisses and little nibbles down my abdomen he moved closer to my proud display of physical hunger that stood tall for him.

I almost lost control the moment my dick was engulfed in his velvet mouth. I moaned against my gag and bucked up into his mouth. He placed his hands on my hips to hold me down, never once quitting the steady bobbing motion he had started. I tangled one hand into his soft curls and gently tugged, the moan that followed vibrated around my cock and again nearly sent me over the edge. I dug my other hand into the dirt and struggled to contain myself. I tried to think of anything else, tried so hard to distract myself from how perfectly his lips wrapped my cock and how beautiful he sounded as he gagged and moaned, enjoying the pleasure he brought me almost as much as I did. I removed the cloth from my mouth and looked down at him. "Star I'm telling you," I paused to hiss threw my teeth as he purposely took me deeper to gag himself, "if you keep this up I'm gonna cum. I can't control it anymore."

Squeezing my hips tighter and increasing the pressure to keep me pinned, he picked up speed, drool leaked from his mouth and dripped down my balls. I bit my lip so hard I tasted the iron filling my mouth but it was all I could do to stifle my moans. Breathing heavily I managed to harshly whisper out his name, "Astarion.. I'm gonna.." I never finished my sentence because the next moment was an explosion of bliss I've never experienced before. My vision went white and in that moment nothing else mattered. We connected with our tadpoles and I could hear him in my head, "Oh V, you taste wonderful.." I lost track of the time in which I laid there filling his mouth, lost in the pleasure he'd brought me once again. Eventually I regained some of my senses and looked up at him sitting over me. "Star, you are perfect every time." "Oh I'm not done yet, darling. Now it's my turn."

He flipped me over onto my my hands and knees and trailed kisses from the back of head down my spine while shuffling out of his pants. Coating his fingers in spit and seed that had been spilled he teased my asshole. "Did you think that tonight would be all about you my love? Listening to you make such sweet sounds has me desiring my own release and I'm going to get it." Gently he slipped two fingers into me and I could feel my dick harden again. "Oh you're so greedy tonight."

Once he felt I was ready for him, and by that I mean I was begging for him to take me, he pushed deep into me. "Fuck Ornvyr, you take me so well" I never stood a chance once he began pounding into me. The sound of slapping skin quickly filled the area as well as our combined grunts and words of pleasure. His fingers gripped my hips tighter as his pace began to falter. "V, I'm close darling." "Give it to me, Star, fill me." It was all the permission he needed, his fangs sank into my neck as he buried himself deep in me and came. I stuttered out a few words that sounded something like "Oh fuck" and came for the second time.

We stayed there for who knows how long, him inside me, both of us panting from the experience we'd just shared. Slowly he fell to the ground next to me and opened his arms for me to lay on his chest. We laid there together, naked under the stars, catching our breath for several minutes before either of us moved again. "Astarion, thank you for tonight. I am so in love with you and am prepared to spend my life with you once all this elder brain nonsense is over. You mean so much to me and I'm very thankful for you." "Ornvyr, you are my world and I love you dearly. I'm quite hopeful our life together will be remarkable, but even these days of combat are enjoyable with you by my side." We kissed, jumping apart at a shuffling sound a couple meters away.

Hurriedly we dressed and gathered up our blanket and the remnants of our picnic. Sneaking back into camp went almost flawlessly until I stepped on a branch and the shadow still sitting by the fire raised his staff in our direction. "Easy, Gale it's just us." We eased into view and he lowered his staff. "Out having a little late night adventure?" His eyes raked over my poorly tied pants, the fresh bites on my neck, and our ruffled hair, my bun barely holding together. He understood where we had been but was too polite to outright ask us. Astarion answered before my brain registered a response, "Just out having a little picnic under the stars and having a chat. But now we're off to bed. Wake us should you need us." He waved and pulled me along with him to his tent. We laid in each other's arms and quickly drifted off, hoping to get at least a little rest before the sun rose in a few hours.

[ryttu3k]

Ship it meme, Crossover Edition: Astarion/Beckett.

[ship meme]

Ohoho, interesting! Let's go with this AU for it, where Astarion is a Lasombra Embraced around the 1290s, who got involved with the Anarch Revolt and later rejected the Sabbat to stay with his coterie of fellow autarkis.

How would Beckett meet him? Well, there's some interesting figures in their coterie. I think he'd be pretty fascinated in particular by Halsin (a Gangrel who's also a Gurahl kinfolk; a) it's unusual for kinfolk who are Embraced to stay in contact with their packs, but Halsin has, and b) Gurahl are thought to be extinct), Shadowheart (also kinfolk, was part of an Abyss cult), Wyll and Karlach (involuntarily involved in infernalism), and, if he knew about them, Aylin (Salubri. Just… Salubri). Astarion might get some attention due to Cazador's attempts at infernalism, especially if he actually is Azanaeli/Angellis Ater.

So, that's how they could meet in the first place! From there…

Don't Ship It

1. Why don't you ship it?

I feel there'd be some irreconcilable differences in opinion. Beckett, for instance, is very open to using seduction as a manipulative tactic. See: the Dracula thing, where he specifically seduced Dracula to get information and access to his library. I feel that would rub Astarion the wrong way in a bad way, because even if it's been five centuries since then, I don't think he'd be able to just disregard the prior two centuries of Cazador using him for the same purpose. I could see Astarion being a little disgusted by Beckett's tactics just because it is something he used to be all for.

Like I don't feel it's just casual sex that Astarion has an issue with. So long as everyone is consenting and not trying to control him, yeah, he might be fine with that. It'd specifically be the seduction for an ulterior motive thing that would make him go, "…no thank you."

Other than that, they just really don't have a lot of interests in common. Beckett is obsessed with uncovering The Truth and knowledge in general and routinely throws himself into peril for it, Astarion wants to live a comfortable, safe life. His top priority is not being controlled or manipulated, and Beckett has got himself in multiple situations where he's being messed with due to his thirst for knowledge. Astarion would just be. Ah. No. You go throw yourself into the lion's den, I'll stand back here, thank you very much.

If I was to ship Beckett with any of the BG3 characters? It'd be Gale. Both seekers of knowledge, whatever the cost. Of Beckett's coterie, I feel Astarion would be most drawn to his clanmate Lucita. A certain level of sophistication + badassery + willingness for bloodshed + has relatable sire-related trauma. They could sit at the back of the room and snark about the others.

2. What would have made you like it?

I feel if Beckett made it very clear he was into Astarion because he was very attracted to him, and that any sex would be solely due to that and not to Get Something Out Of It, Astarion would be more into the idea? Like so long as it's not transactionary, it'd be much more palatable. I can't see an actual romantic relationship developing, but friendship / maybe FWB could work.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

If Astarion could be persuaded to go on an adventure, the sheer amount of Chaos these two could get into would be incredible :D Their alignments at this point would just be. Chaotic. Yes, I know True Chaotic doesn't exist but it does now. (No but really I feel Astarion starts out Chaotic Evil due to sheer... lack of knowing how to People otherwise, but is much more Chaotic Neutral by the end of the game. Beckett I see as Chaotic Neutral-Good. So even if their interests and personalities clash, their alignments aren't too far off, at least.)

[chronurgy]

#i have SO many issues with karlach's story#as a character she's great but as a piece of the narrative she is... not#her personal plot is just a slightly altered and less relevant rehash of gale's with the whole bomb thing#everything she has to say about the villains is overshadowed by durge when they're present and adds nothing new when they're not#and her whole backstory makes no sense when you actually think about it#larian please she didn't actually need to be tied to gort#keep her being an escapee from zariel being hunted by wyll. scrap the rest#i really do love her as a character#but she's a side quest character forced to play main companion and looking at her story i can REALLY see that sometimes#karlach would've been better as a recurring npc and that's my unpopular opinion for the evening (tags via @crossdressingdeath)

Yeah, the problem is that you're right. The main centerpiece of her story (the infernal engine) was a late addition, plus her main character status was also a late addition to the game as a whole and you can really, really tell. As a character she's great and I love her, as a storyline she leaves a lot to be desired.

Her story is just full of contradictions and holes. If you can sell your employees to the devils, why aren't more people doing it and why aren't corrupt kings selling their subjects every 15 minutes? Why on earth would zariel trade unlimited infernal iron for one girl? Was it part of a larger deal? Where there other things involved? That could at least explain some stuff, but they just never seem to realize that it needs to be brought up? (I know that games aren't going to be able to address everything, but this is such a big important thing I wish they had!) She still has two timelines - in act 1, she moved her parents to a nicer neighborhood with the money she made working for gortash, but in act 3 they died before she met him (augh). Her quest basically drops off in act 3, right when it should be picking up (I think larian confirmed that they basically ran out of time to add them). Karlach has no more dialogue about the fact that Durge is Gortash's bestie than any other companion, despite the fact that seems like it would be pretty important to her! She basically doesn't react at all. There's no confrontation, no nothing, not even if you agree to ally with him. Honestly I think everyone needs some more dialogue there, but her story suffers the most for lacking it. It kinda cheapens the whole reveal.

You're also right that her relationship to Gortash is completely overshadowed by Durge's when they're there. That's partially due to her not having any real interesting response to the whole thing, but also because, well, Durge's thing is just waaaay more dramatic. And that's reinforced by the way she has nothing to say about her thing. I think there is some utility to having her be this very real reminder of Gortash's cruelty (apparently lots of people don't read the in game notes!) but he's also the act 3 villain you're going to have the most contact with no matter what. He gets a fairly solid chunk of development even for people who don't read with his coronation, the steel watch factory, and the iron throne - all of which make it pretty obvious that he's a rat bastard. So I think you're right that she doesn't necessarily add anything there, though I think she could if she had ANYTHING to say about it and there was actually some tie in to the hells (okay so that's asking for a lot of content actually). Her whole story (from her backstory to the stuff in game) just feels incredibly bare bones and I'm less and less convinced that the bones are good!

I think her story runs into a lot of the same issues as Halsin's - they're both fan favorite late additions and so their act 3 stories suffer for it and aren't as coherent as the characters that were intended to be involved all along. And maybe they could have gotten there with more development, but they just didn't have the time! And it shows!

I don't really know how to fix her. The problem is that act 3 is Durge's act, really. A tie to either villain would always be overshadowed by Durge's tie to them. Either tie her to Orin to toss her some development on a Tav run (no idea how though) or maybe just completely distance her from the main storyline like astarion? Tie her to Durge? I don't have a lot of good ideas here, mostly because her story really needs some pretty massive rewrites, like why she was in hell to begin with.

Ugh the thing with Gortash selling Karlach to the devils is.... Why isn't everyone doing it? Why isn't everyone selling people that they don't like to the devils? Why isn't Bob selling his neighbor who plays loud lute music at 2 am, why aren't politicians constantly selling their enemies, why hasn't Susan sold Janice to the devils for book club crimes? Generally most universes will say that you can only sell your own soul to devils. But if you CAN sell random people to the devils why aren't more people doing it?

[redstaratmorning]

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Astarion

Ahoy there me hearties! It is time to embark on yet another long voyage into the seas of discovery and character exploration, to fill in the details of the blank map with speculation and musings alongside the occasional sea serpent drawing! Tonight we are once more focused on Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3, and we set sail with navigation logs that include Scents And Sensibilities, or more specifically how both taste and smell might impact Astarion as a vampire and his perception of the world. The second major topic of speculation would be the one that gave this post its title: amnesia possibilities with speculations on the influence of torture and starvation for induced memory loss. This is of course all speculation based on early access content, so beware of spoilers upon the horizon! Content warnings include discussion of food items, consumption of food, consumption of rotting food, graphic descriptions, maggots, insects, emetophobia, vampirism, blood, dark backstories, abuse, torture, horror, and other themes typical of the Baldur’s Gate 3 setting. Spoilers for both Baldur’s Gate 3 and some spoilers for Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Amnesia: Justine included. Google story details of the Amnesia series at your own risk, these tags are intended to be reflective solely of mentioned elements in this essay, not of all potentially disturbing content in those games.

So with the starting fact of how closely the senses of taste and smell are in real life, what does this mean for Astarion and other vampires in DND when it comes to how things smell versus how they taste? Referencing another of Pjenn’s fine posts regarding everyone’s favorite local vampire spawn, Astarion has a line regarding consuming a treacle tart from Auntie Ethel’s cottage: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [click here for a link to said post]  Now this could just be because Auntie Ethel is a hag and cooks horrible food, and according to tumblr there are poisonous apples to be found at her place as well. [Alas no post citation to confirm the poisonous apples.] If Astarion’s reaction isn’t due to Ethel being a terrible cook, and is more to do with the fact that he’s a vampire, then that’s a horse of a different color. Presumably, through speculation based on his surprise and lack of disgust prior to consumption of foodstuffs, standard humanoid foods likely still smell or at least smell similar to how they used to smell to him when he was alive. An apple still smells like an apple, as it were. It may just be that instead of Astarion feeling hunger at the smell of an apple, it might be more akin to smelling pleasant like apple-scented perfume or such though for him...curiously, that would suggest that he did not try or more likely could not try to eat anything of the sort under Cazador’s rule. On that note, it would be a certain flavor of tragedy for regular humanoid foods to still smell appetizing and edible to Astarion but taste like ash in his mouth, or worse. But how does food fit for vampires smell to Astarion? Namely, blood, of course. Though one might wonder at rare steak or other cuts of meat still bloody to the taste—could he eat beef tartare and enjoy it, for example? Sashimi or other raw seafood? That’s straying into headcanon territory though. Back on topic, in the one camp scene where everyone is feeling ill with the beginning sensations of ceremorphosis, he mentions “I can smell the blood in your mouth” on one dialogue branch. It could be that the two are standing awfully close together while discussing matters, and/or the MC’s bleeding a pretty significant amount and the scent is quite noticeable, or Astarion’s got a pretty keen sense of smell, or a combination of the above. It probably smells pretty good if it tastes as good as Astarion’s reactions and comments would strongly suggest, and if we’re going to go wild with fun fantastical interpretations, I’d put forth the idea of Astarion being able to smell the difference between different people’s (or animals’) blood at close range. If Larian puts the following datamined not-present-in-game-yet scene in, the former idea would tie in very nicely with how Astarion speculates on how the different companions’ blood might taste, from this datamined text post once again kindly provided by Pjenn. [click here for text post link, bottommost “tastingparty” section] Transcription of some of the possible lines in question (not in the game at time of writing, and possibly may not appear in the final game): “Take Gale, for example. He strikes me as someone whose blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy.” “Take Wyll, for example. A man of the people, very palatable, like a sweet cider.” Above lines chosen for their more descriptive wording, thus why the other party members (both current and future as of this time of writing) are not added in the above examples. Astarion is quite colorful in his descriptions of how he thinks some of the companions’ blood would taste, based off of their personalities. So what does everyone’s various MCs’ blood taste like? There could be delightful variety based on the details of the various MCs’ personalities and personal life histories, I’ve seen some explorations on the dash here and there which is delightful, and I’d shan’t say no to seeing more. It is a beautiful opportunity for character exploration regarding the MC, Astarion’s perception of them, the reality of who they are (and perhaps Astarion shifting said perception of them), and all around a great potential moment to have some fun writing descriptive prose if one is so inclined. One internet search later, I will say that it appears that reddit and other google search sources do seem to suggest that in real life the blood from various different species of animals looks and tastes different from one another, even without going into factors such as age and health’s impact on blood. If we as normal humans are able to tell the difference in that, it seems reasonable to think Astarion would be able to do that and more with supernatural augmentation as the basis for that line of thinking. What do people smell like to him? Different from one another one might suppose. Is that part of what informs his imaginings and wonderings about how their companions’ blood might taste? Individuals tend to smell unique to some degree, due to body chemistry among other factors. One would expect blood to be a factor in that, seeing as that’s how many hormones and such get sent about the circulatory system—which might mean Astarion (and our potential future weregnome companion) may have more of a time having to deal with the whole party foregoing soap for better or for worse, unless Gale or Shadowheart have a Summon/Conjure Soap spell, or perhaps the MC is a ranger who can find a soap plant. Not a great time to have a sensitive nose potentially, though foregoing soap and thus additional layered scents like floral infusions and such might be beneficial. One can only imagine hunting might turn out better for the entire party’s dinner-scrounging efforts by not alerting the local wildlife that there’s someone about who smells like a potpourri bowl...though that’s another idea, does Astarion volunteer to go hunting moreso for the party in order to be able to drain blood from the kills? One would bleed and gut a carcass anyway as part of the processing, so who would know if he drank it dry versus bled it out with a knife from a tree? Moving on though, imagine what it must’ve been like the first time after he rose up from being turned and he smelled another living person’s blood, only to feel his mouth suddenly start watering. Was he confused? Repulsed? Horrified? Startled, but accepting? There’s potential ripe for the picking to interpret that in any number of ways, including conflicted and complicated in multiple directions all at once, which his actions and emotional depictions might suggest so far in early access. Imagine the torment of being ravenous every night—and I am personally impressed that Astarion actually can keep his mental faculties and presentation together well enough to seduce someone given potential speculation of his physical state,—and knowing only a meager portion of the most putrid, rotting rat flesh awaited him back at Cazador’s mansion, while he had to interact and seduce with people who smelled just so good to his vampiric senses. Consider the added twist of the knife in Cazador’s torment of Astarion with the fact that one can consider saliva to be filtered blood—if one headcanons Astarion as actually being quite physical with his seduction up to and including kissing of any kind. Consider also, the fact that if Astarion has shared a kiss with one of the unfortunate victims-to-be, he might have more of an idea of what they might taste like but must also now sit and SMELL their fresh-spilled blood right from the vein, right there in front of him, and watch while Cazador enjoys his own supper, while being forced to down a disgusting rotting carcass under threat of punishment. [in-post content warning: Graphic description of rotting dead rat carcass, food, maggots, etc in the next paragraph] Did Astarion throw up the first several times? Cazador would’ve surely punished him for so “rudely” rejecting a dinner all set out especially for Astarion and everything. To get to the point where one can consume let alone look at and smell a plate of rotting food,—specifically a dead rat with the fur still attached, the guts bloating up and putrifying from within, that very well might have live, wriggling maggots in it,—and not vomit? It must be one hell of a potent cocktail mix between primal hunger-driven desperation and fear of punishment applied over a prolonged period of time for Astarion to actually be able to consume that, let alone look upon it. This essay by the by will not be doing any in-depth exploration of the overarching situation relating to the victims’ point of view, as I feel that’s been implied in previous meta posts by both myself and others on Astarion, in the “Clearly The Other Victims Have It Bad Too And No One Deserves To Suffer Cazador” thread of implications.  We are however acknowledging that all of this experience for everyone else, aside from Cazador, is Fucked Up And Very Very Bad. Continuing past acknowledgements of the large moral cluster of ideas over yonder, let us move forward into the “present” time when Astarion has joined the party, and no one is as of yet aware that he is a vampire. Consider the scenario where he can smell their individual scents, but it’s nothing he hasn’t handled before, even if he seems to be...curiously free of the immediate need to get back to Cazador right away, while still wrapping his head around this bizarre new reality of walking in the sun. The inescapable reality of how different everything looks bathed in the all encompassing colors of sunlight, compared to moonlight and lantern light. Be it the blinding yellow, white, and blue of the noon time sun, or the violent golds, oranges, reds clashing against the violently deep blue shadows of night’s approach during the fall of twilight, or the brilliant and mellow pale grandeur of all the world’s color coming to life as the dawn breaks forth...it has been so long since last he saw any of that. Do you think he sat up specifically to watch that first dawn, while the other companions slept? It’s a beautiful thought. But I would follow that with the unfortunate potential consideration that he is starving—and when hunger eats away at one’s mind for long enough and in a demanding enough fashion, it can be remarkably difficult for a person to feel much of anything save very faint echoes of emotions or on the other extreme end only the strongest emotions, and more often than not those emotions are very likely to be the negative ones. Just about nobody’s happy when they’re starving after all. Astarion may very well feel awe at seeing the dawn again, but how deep does that feeling go, when instinct is screaming and gnawing at his very bones to insist that he is hungry? Famished. Starving. Appreciation for beauty is a privilege that is hard to enjoy at all in any degree of depth when the basic needs are wailing inside one’s head so loudly.  And he can smell his companions’ blood, even when they’re not bleeding. He has also smelled their blood spill out into the open air too, during fighting. How does that eat at him, how does that sharpen his appetite so? Does it make his stomach twist in pain to smell what his senses are clamoring for and labeling as food so close, so near, as he slowly loses his mind waiting all day for the party to break camp so he can try to slip away and hunt? Does he catch anything? He does find some animals canonically in some encounters, but there is no guarantee he will find enough without expending strenuous effort, assuming he finds anything at all on a given night. And his luck does run out eventually it would seem. One night he just doesn’t have any reserves left in him to go hunt down another animal, to take another gamble that’s stacked even higher against him with how badly off he is. Does he feel an uncomfortable chill set in, cooling his blood and rendering his flesh even colder than his normally low body temperature standards as his undead form slips just a little bit closer to a semblance of true death, whether or not he can starve to death as a vampire? Do his hands shake? Can he think at all as thoughts fade in and out from hunger-induced weakness? Can he think through the haze of sensation and awareness if he breathes in through his nose, his open mouth, inhaling a lungful of the smell and taste of living blood right there? The smells that he’s grown familiar with over these last few days? The companion origin for Astarion definitely seems to spin it towards needing to know if he can resist Cazador’s orders now, but consider this thought: imagine the progression of realization that Astarion might have as he considers the idea that he could resist Cazador’s rules, with the lack of magical-compulsion to return to Cazador’s side right away. That if Astarion himself is no longer bound by those supernatural, unyielding, magically-enforced laws, he can also drink the blood of thinking creatures. He can drink the blood of people. He can drink the blood that he’s been smelling the enticing scents of this entire time. The blood that is right. There. And he is starving. Imagine how that must feel, that pupil-dilating moment of realization as muscles tense and the next breath comes in as a sharp inhale at the instantaneous, primal understanding that you can have food, real food, good food, right then and there when you feel like you’re dying for something, anything to stop the hunger from eating you alive from the inside out. And all you have to do, is take it. Humans in real life can potentially have very predatory responses to hunger at times, especially when it comes to hunting down prey animals, and when it comes to spotting an easy meal when one is working on empty reserves. Imagine how that can scale up for a vampire...and for Astarion, this is the first time he’s been free to actually choose to act on those instincts. Cazador’s rules have always been the backbone holding him in place as surely as the mindflayer prison pods kept everyone well and truly trapped—until our merry lot was broken free. Now though? The only thing standing between Astarion and his sleeping, delicious-smelling companions’ blood, is his own will and choice. That has to be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He’s never been free like this—free, with vampiric needs clamouring for his attention. Free, as a vampire, spawn or otherwise. But does he want to? I would actually suspect he feels conflicted about that on multiple levels, given a possible line Auntie Ethel might say should you fight her. ”You’re one thirsty night away from betraying everyone!” [One of Auntie Ethel’s taunts when using Vicious Mockery during her potential fight, linked here in astarions-ears’s post.] On the one hand: the power to take what he wants, what he needs, is at his fingertips. Much like how the power of the tadpole is. It could help him protect himself, be stronger, do whatever he wants...just like the tadpole power. This whole situation is a mess of temptation in the long term for Astarion in so many ways. On the other hand though...I suspect based on that line from Ethel above, assuming it makes it into the final version of the game, given that it’s used during a casting of Vicious Mockery, I would say there’s fair grounds to assume Astarion does have at least reservations about betraying the party, at the very least with the hesitation given rise from self-serving desires such as wanting to have a group of people in his corner. I would say though, it wouldn’t cut so deep, and wouldn’t be so vicious a mockery, if he didn’t care that it was betrayal. I think it safe to say that if he truly didn’t care in some shape or form, Ethel would’ve ended up mocking some other aspect of Astarion’s personality or insecurities, likely something along the lines that everything he does is futile as he will still end up killed or enslaved by either Cazador or others (such as the party and MC having so much sway over his life and choices), rather than needling him about betrayal of all things.  Another reservation he might have from lack of experience is that he’s never hunted other people for his own food before. He might never have hunted for someone personally of his own free will before this point, either. That little nuance could be a hook on which he hangs onto for dear life—or unlife—in order to keep what remains of his perceived identity. Who does he want to be, and among those details, what must he be, in order to survive? What can he avoid doing? Does he want to be what he perceives as a monster? Is he hoping not to become a monster, to validate that he isn’t one already, based on his conversation after you catch him trying to steal some of the MC’s blood? “I’m not some monster!” There’s also the line from the post-Raphael first meeting, “If I keep the tadpole, I risk turning into a monster.” which all seem to imply that Astarion draws a line between what he thinks is and isn’t monstrous, much like in the first meeting with Astarion where if you tell him about the tadpole, he laughs bitterly and goes, “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster.” Isn’t that an interesting turn of phrase? It implies so much fertile ground for speculating on what he thinks of both his own vampirism, and what precisely makes someone or something a monster. The MC has come into Astarion’s life at such a fascinatingly crucial point in time, beyond just Astarion’s sudden new freedom, however fragile, from Cazador. Because of that freedom, this is also the time of exploration and self-definition for Astarion to decide who he is, and who he will be, a coming-of-age if you will, which is hysterically ironic and well-played by Larian Studios in my opinion given that he is almost assuredly going to be the chronologically oldest member of the main party. This dovetails so very neatly into the MC’s already obvious potential influence on how Astarion views his condition, other people, the world around him, his own self and morality...it’s really just so rife with potential. This particular part is nothing too new, just added detail and layering on top of previous musings in past posts, but there are elements of interest to examine I think. Personally, I was inclined to guess Astarion as being older, even as elves go, based largely on the fine lines one can see upon his face when he’s emoting, some elements of his attitude and dialogue—(“A fine effort, but I’ve seen it all. I was walking this land while your ancestors were learning to crawl.” - said if you fail a skill check during his recruitment scuffle)—but looking at some of these other elements has me reconsidering that. Perhaps he was more on the young adult side of the elven age range, rather than middle aged prior to being turned? If he can retain scars as a vampire under the living conditions Cazador subjected him to, perhaps he also has stress-related aging tells, since it seems from other DND materials (Curse of Strahd I believe has a vampire locked in a basement that’s largely starved of blood if I recall correctly? I am uncertain of the details regarding the situation unfortunately) that vampires can at least show physical deterioration when it comes to being starved for blood. It would be an entertaining take in my personal opinion to see an older character having a coming-of-age growth type arc, since those are almost always strongly associated with a relatively narrow range of ages from teenaged-to-middle-twenties-ish protagonists and characters. Whichever way Larian goes with it though, it is looking quite promising just based on the overall quality of the various game elements so far. To build on that possible theme interpretation though, there is another element that I think ties into Astarion’s uncertain age as well—how much he remembers of his life before Cazador, and how much life there was to remember to begin with. One might generally presume that the older a character is, the more time they’ve had and thus more opportunity to learn, to be exposed to life experiences, to garner wisdom. Often, this also tends towards a certain amount of cementing of a person’s outlook, personality, and other core traits along with potential varying levels of self-awareness regarding those elements. It goes without saying that people do still change sometimes dramatically other times gradually over the course of their lives, but typically the more easily-influenced vibes commonly go with younger and/or more naive character builds, though not always of course. Without addressing significant or otherwise notable exceptions, specific nuances or variations though, there is something of a vague expectation and template starting-base that older characters and personalities are typically more “put together”, “collected”, and less likely to be outright mutable. Astarion though? As a character in an RPG that is built upon the foundations of choices, in a DND world where choice IS the defining feature in both character expression and storytelling? His core will remain as himself I’m sure, but by the very nature of the game attempting to make this an enjoyable experience for the audience, odds are very good that Astarion will be heavily influenced in his outlook into a set number of branched endings based on what the MC chooses to say and do. But I have some potential suspicions now that Astarion might actually be a touch more malleable in some parts of his outlook and manner beyond the influence of just the aforementioned elements above. Consider the following lines Astarion currently has in Early Access, including one mentioned previously: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [Said in the previously posted link above when eating a treacle tart for presumably the first time, stolen from Auntie Ethel’s before illusion is lifted.] “I’ve seen so little of the world. Still, there’s time now.” [Looking at a globe, post linked here, from Pjenn’s blog] “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies. Was that normal?” [If you kill Mayrina’s brothers and Auntie Ethel disappears into thin air. Video from Danaduchy on youtube linked here] “Probably wise. No one gets that old and crooked playing by the rules.” [Same conversation as above mentioned in the video regarding Auntie Ethel if the second option “I’m not sure. We should watch ourselves around her.” is chosen in response to Astarion’s question.] While one could certainly retain youthful or what one might call immature or dramatic inclinations even through to one’s golden years, I am on the fence on how far Astarion’s presentation is strictly personality-based versus influenced by a possible lack of diverse life experiences. Nature versus nurture, as it were. The first of the above quotes seem to suggest he hasn’t done much traveling, and may have some wanderlust in him (potentially hinting at moon elf wanderlust leanings?), but then why wasn’t he out traveling? Why did he become a magistrate? There is much life to be lived in great depth and diversity when one stays in one place, true. But we really know so little about Astarion’s past before Cazador, all in all, and that intriguingly puts him back in step with most of the other companions at this point of backstory reveal, I’d say. If we include Cazador’s influence, I’d say we’ve seen quite a bit more of his story than most of the others because there’s a lot more visibility and immediately-threatening emotional tension in his story, even when compared to Gale’s, surprisingly, followed by Wyll’s, Shadowheart’s, and then Lae’zel’s as of what I personally have seen of their stories (my knowledge may be lacking, even as far as Early Access content goes.) To be fair though, Astarion is the one who thus far shows the most visible, dramatic expressions of fear and trauma regarding his backstory than all the rest, so that would be a major factor as to why it feels like we’ve seen more of his tale, among other factors. Regarding life experiences within a more geographically limited area though—that puts some of Astarion’s comments as even more markedly odd to me. Specifically those comments of his after Auntie Ethel poofs away into thin air, should the party slay Mayrina’s brothers for Ethel, “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies.” Perhaps his specification is the helpless part, but even if he was spending time with powerful old ladies, who asks “is it normal for the elderly to disappear into thin air like that?” He must have met some older people, ladies included, as Baldur’s Gate is not a strictly elven city, according to the wiki its demographics are mostly human but widely diverse. [Link to wiki page here.] This is especially strange if he’s of a noble background and was ostensibly working with other government officials, one would expect a range of ages with plenty of older individuals present both in his work and social circles, even if only in passing. That’s just not adding up, especially if it’s a genuine question, which his expressions and tone of voice during his inquiry in addition to his responses afterwards to the MC’s various dialogue options all seem to suggest if not confirm. If that question was coming from a young character who hasn’t seen the world, one would assume they were just incredibly sheltered. What does it mean coming from Astarion? What’s even stranger is that Astarion is the one who baits the MC into a trap using a similar disception upon meeting—”Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered!” One would think Astarion would recognize a ruse like that as one of the oldest tricks in the book: pretend to be helpless to get someone else to do the dirty work for you. Such a trick often is pulled off well especially when the pretender is either a) pretty/handsome, b) innocent looking (young or otherwise), c) dressed in a uniform or clothes that have helpful connotations for snap judgements in one’s favor (e.g. wearing good-aligned clergy garments), d) helpless looking (young, old, specific subgroups depending on culture, disabled, etc), or has other elements to their advantage there. If Astarion doesn’t recognize that particular ruse, which he doesn’t seem to, that has additional implications going on for him. If he did recognize the ruse, one would expect his reaction to be much more in line with Shadowheart’s. If he recognized it and was hiding it, one would think he wouldn’t want to play stupid, if only for pride’s sake—for all that Astarion has done things that have unquestionably humbled him, his penchant for verbal wit and criticism (various insults aimed at the MC and others regarding their intellect/stupidity) and touchy ego makes playing stupid seem like a very emotionally taxing and potentially painful thing for him to do, and thus not worth the mental/emotional effort in what looks like a very low-stakes situation. He seems too impulsive and reactive to be planning out a long-term con of hiding his intelligence, he makes far too many quips to pull that off at this point. Assuming Astarion does indeed not recognize the ruse beforehand, some of the possible implications for that could speculate on his overall awareness of his techniques when it comes to deception and manipulation. He definitely can spot it on occasion based on a narrated internal monologue line presumably from his origin— *I gave her a hard look. Never play a player.* [Linked to the audio of this line here from scionsandsinners’s blog] That he spots it in the potential origin line above, but presumably not with Auntie Ethel, might suggest that his experience is likely limited to within certain restricted lanes of behavior, likely seduction were one to guess based on what we know of his backstory and some datamined emotional directions/descriptions for voice acting, along with speculation based on his in-game behavior and demeanor. That would potentially push him moreso towards appearing when being manipulative to be doing so out of either self-perceived need (e.g. defending personal interests, inquiring after information of interest, etc), learned response, social norms, and other short term motivations that are more situational than long-term planning. I admit I’m still personally not of the opinion he’s playing a long-term game, and is playing it by ear as he goes—both honestly and not-so-honestly, as mentioned in previous posts on the subject. [Mentioned past essay post of mine linked here] In regards to short-term machinations, I think they’re all largely emotion or survival driven, as far as we’ve seen. I would include the voice acting direction for the romance scene where it’s noted that this is a power game for Astarion and that he’s an old hand at seducing others. Specifically from the synopsis: “For Astarion, this is a game of power - one he’s played many times before in the taverns of Baldur’s Gate, trying to lure people back to his master. He’s an old hand at seduction, very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” [Link to Pjenn’s post here.] I’ve seen intriguing, angsty, and fun takes on what this might mean all around tumblr, so allow me to offer up an additional one that might either compliment some of the already circulating pre-existing ones, or stand on its own depending on personal preference. Consider what power means to Astarion in the context of seducing someone specifically when it’s to lure them back to Cazador’s mansion under orders. It truly isn’t power in the sense of anything one might consider meaningful even under broad definitions. It’s a short-term deception, appealing to someone enough to get them to do what he wants for a short time, likely just enough time to flirt and then bait them back to Cazador’s estate (we’ll be skipping over speculation of anything else Astarion and company might get up to between point A and point B in this essay for simplicity’s sake, though there is much to consider on how it might impact his behavior and outlook there.) One of the specific words of interest I would say is the use of “script” in there. I’m sure others can hear it too when they listen to his dialogue during the party romance scene, but it really does sound like he’s putting on a tried-and-true act that might come across as a little over the top in romantic-dramatic-flair. One potential inference that can be gleaned from this might be some of Astarion’s expectations regarding how people perceive him, and most specifically how people perceive him in a desirous way. I will admit, Astarion’s romance scene makes me laugh, I'm impressed he and the MC both can avoid laughing at his lines in-scene, no disrespect intended. To me, he sounds like he ripped those lines straight out of a torrid romance novel, the kind where women might have a momentary description of heaving, delicate bosoms barely constrained by their bodice laces, while the men have had their shirts ripped open to display rippling muscles in a moment of romantic daring do. It makes me wonder if someone will go with a modern AU idea of BG3′s main crew that includes Astarion moonlighting as a much beloved romance/erotica writer under a nom de plume—the man has lines and characteristics that would shift well in such a verse-transposition. With that comparison in mind, I would suggest that Astarion is very, very used to playing the role of the illicit lover, the tempter of passions and other archetypes wherein he is the one confidently enticing people to cross the line of propriety with him for the implied, unspoken promise of a night filled with unparalleled ravishment. It might be he is fully, intentionally playing up to people’s fantasies about the passionate lover who falls madly in love with them at first glance. The fantasy of being so madly desired, as put forth by some romance stories. Then we have this other portion of the acting direction for the scene, “... very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” Isn’t that interesting? “Very self-assured at first,” why only at first? What changes? Does he have little doubts springing to mind then, because the realization that he knew, but didn’t really know until this moment when he feels the difference, that this isn’t just another routine night like all those other countless nights over the past two centuries where he had to tempt some poor, unfortunate soul back to Cazador’s waiting clutches? That this is someone he’s picked to spend the night with, solely for his own motivations, with no one else pulling the strings? Is it another moment of the realization of freedom, wherein he feels a touch terrified? Suddenly there is no script, there is no expectation of what he’s seen happen time after time after time after time to each person who’s looked at him the way the MC is looking at him now. Is it anxiety? Is it trauma? Is he feeling a moment of distant, cognitive dissonance that this time, this time, this person whom he’s picked, won’t be dead at the end of this? That he doesn’t have to hold them at arm’s length with the they’ll be dead soon or worse mentality he may have had previously...but can he afford to care? Does he dare? Whether he does or does not, it could be such a scary little moment of epiphany, that he even has the option to do so without immediate, horrendous repercussions. But can he really care, even without Cazador looming overhead as an immediate threat? Even if Cazador is slightly more distant now...there’s still the matter of the tadpoles. There is so much uncertainty potentially. Could this be the last chance he gets at having as close to a normal night of fully consenting, fully aware, mutual passion with another person as he can ever have, as a vampire spawn? Astarion could be interpreted as a character who is very strongly ruled by his emotions, in particular his fears and his desires. Does it befit his fears or his wants more to engage as he does in the romance scene? I’d guess moreso his fears, but it’s a fun back-and-forth he’s got as a character, zigzagging between those two extremes. He fears trusting as denoted in the dialogue from him if you fail the persuasion check asking him to trust you and to talk about who he dreamed about, but since you can persuade him...does that mean he wants to trust? If he speaks truthfully in this following scene, he does trust the MC to some degree out of necessity and/or the want to trust, as mentioned if you use the illithid powers in the camp bite scene where he’s revealed to be a vampire. He has likely been alone among the crowd of Cazador’s other spawn, given the lack of mention of anyone else, friend or otherwise, in his banter with Shadowheart regarding if there was anyone waiting for him back in Baldur’s Gate and other general conversations and discussions. That’s rather concerning truth be told, to go two hundred years with what might be a complete lack of positive or healthy social connection. Another thing Cazador has ripped away intentionally, it would seem. Does he want connection, meaningful friendship or otherwise? The fact that his approval rating has an impact on his manner of address of the MC or other selected origin character seems like it could be read as a suggestion that he does show whom he likes and dislikes openly in fairly standard socializing behaviors. That he does want to spend time around people whom he likes, who like him back. What would’ve been terribly clever of Larian (said without being able to compare all the different levels of approval shown via dialogue general greetings from the different companions), is if they had a character whose greeting was still amicable, polite, and most importantly friendly even when their approval of you was low. What if such a theoretical character’s greetings never changed, or changed very little aside from some variation at higher approval levels? That could be a great little twist of game mechanics to show either Something Isn’t Right, or that the character is a great liar, through meta knowledge on the player’s part of comparing all these disparate little details to compare and contrast. That kind of tell could be used to show that a character lacks either a degree of empathy and care for the main character, or that they are keeping the MC at arms’ length regardless of what the MC does (barring some potential high-approval impact and side-quest-completion that leads to influencing such a character, who might otherwise be a betrayer, into remaining loyal.) Seeing as Astarion lacks those major tells as of yet and that he does engage honestly either through persuasion or eventual revelation (such as if you fail the first dream-convo persuasion check, you find out from when he wakes up from nightmares regarding Cazador “reading poetry” what his dreams really were about), one could assume he does, in spite of all he’s been through, despite all the reasons he’s been given to fear, all the repetition beaten into his head to never trust another person ever again or to ever be trusted ever again... ...in spite of all that, perhaps a part of him still wants to reach out and engage with others. That some part of him still wants to interact as most if not all people do, in an emotionally meaningful and honest way. He says to the MC that he thinks they want to be known—and as I’m sure many of you clever lot who are in the shipping business alongside the rest of us have already thought or written out into fic, it very well may be that Astarion wants to be known too. Not just in the romantic or impassioned-love-affair manner of speaking, but simply for who he is, with both the MC and the rest of the group too. Accepted. Does he enjoy the little quips and barbs (assuming he actually is allowed to drink humanoid blood) such as from Shadowheart regarding his vampirism? Does that feel like a new, pleasant normal to him that he likes after a while? A joke between friends? Like the line “You know? I’m a little proud none of you were stupid enough to trust him!” [Linked here from scionsandsinners’s blog] while definitely still sporting his current insultingly low bar of expectations, it could be a nice potential build towards actually getting attached to the group on the whole as friends. Did he have that before he turned at all? Did he want that before? It seems likely given what we’ve seen of his raw emotional drive, that his potential desire for meaningful connection however obscured behind quips and barbs, that those elements were always a part of him in some way, shape or form. Does he remember, though? Or is it potentially something he’s forgotten, to some extent or other? Does he remember vaguely what friendship was like as another hollow memory among many, after so many years of torment wearing away at his mind? Do his friends from life if any still live? That could be bittersweet, if he did leave someone behind from when he was alive, that we might meet in Baldur’s Gate. He calls that Before—that time when he was still alive, before he lay dying and accepted Cazador’s offer of eternal life and was thus turned into a vampire spawn—so long ago it’s ancient history. “Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history and everything that came after…well uhm–I’d rather not reflect on it.” [Link here, from scionsandsinners] In some lines, tentatively guessed as post-vampire-status-reveal casual dialogue regarding his past before Cazador, relating to his days as a magistrate, he says he can’t remember what happened too clearly. “I…can’t remember much, truth be told–centuries of torment will do that to you.” [link from scionsandsinners blog]  According to google searches on the internet for DND rules regarding the turning of vampires and vampire spawn, they do seem to retain the memories of their life even into undeath. Astarion certainly could be obfuscating and lying about how much he remembers from back then...but consider this alternative as a possibility: What if he isn’t? [Spoilers for some of the Amnesia game series ahead, specifically Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and the DLC Amnesia: Justine.] What if he does have a certain degree of memory loss? Enter the comparison of Daniel and Justine both from Amnesia: The Dark Descent and the game’s DLC. Astarion, unlike the main character for Amnesia’s main campaign Daniel, did not technically volunteer for memory loss...unless one counts agreeing to take Cazador’s deal as volunteering, specifically without full and knowing consent of what he was getting into. Daniel in comparison knowingly and willingly ingests a potion to erase his memories, and leaves a note to motivate himself and thus the player to follow the course of ensuing events that make up the game. Justine does so in a similar fashion to Daniel, but her memory loss is intentionally temporary, whereas Daniel seems to have meant for it to be of a more permanent fashion. What if part of Cazador’s intentions regarding torturing his spawn, including Astarion, was to break down memories of happier times until those spawn could only remember that they had ever been happy once, not the actual memory, not the actual feeling—only the bitter, hollow forgetfulness and knowledge that they had known, once? Starvation is devastating in many, many, many ways. Ways that are so rarely fully explored in fiction beyond the feeling of extreme hunger. Few, after all, would consider the impact of malnourishment or a constant caloric deficit upon mental faculties unless they have observed it, experienced it, or studied it. It is possible to suffer actual physical brain damage from starving, so one must ask is it so surprising that the ability to think, comprehend, and process information, memory or emotion also falters when under the very real physical stress of prolonged famine? The brain eats up at least a fifth of the baseline caloric intake required for the average person’s bodily needs. It does not compromise well for less without the person in question suffering consequences for most if not all individuals. We know Astarion has not had more than enough to barely survive under Cazador, and the quality has been well below subpar at best. What if, after all he’s been through, with the exhaustion of constant fear and extreme pain, of unending ravenous hunger, and so much more...what if Astarion can’t remember much of before at all? What if he has forgotten chunks of his past? He does remember large, broad brushstrokes yes, the shape of ideas and what he once knew. The home he might long to see that he has not laid eyes upon in centuries [mentioned in the conversation with the Ornate Mirror if Astarion is the one talking to it (or does it require he be the chosen main origin?) I have no source available at this current time alas.] How much of that home does he remember in full? I’m sure he can recall some details...but are they the abstract knowledge of those details of what he knew they were like, or the actual memory?  Can you imagine the added layer of pain for an elf, if Larian is working with any of the racial features involving trancing, or the Reverie, if it’s built based off of the 2e DND Complete Book of Elves excerpt as mentioned in the following linked thread? [Posted by Remathilis, key word phrase is “The Reverie” or “The reverie is akin to sleep”, linked here] Specifically if these elements are at play:  “The reverie is akin to sleep, yet is very much unlike it. When elves enter this state, they vividly relive past memories, those both pleasant and painful. Like the dreaming of humans, elves have no control over which memories rise to the fore when they relinquish their bodies to the reverie. Occasionally, elves do actually dream, but this is not a frequent occurrence and mostly occurs only when they truly sleep.” “Although the reverie provides rest, it is primarily an important memory tool that helps the elf maintain a strong sense of identity. Since their lifespans are so great, elves must periodically recall the events in those hundreds of years that were integral to the making of their personality.”  This is from older versions of DND rules it’s true, but if it still applies, and applies to Astarion? This man has had over two hundred years’ worth of memories full of suffering and torment that, if he’s having traumatic PTSD nightmare episodes also helping to induce a higher frequency of recalling his torment at the hands of Cazador both during those centuries and afterwards, are potentially shaping his personality not only through the channels we can recognize in both fiction and the real world in psychological and physiological terms, but also supernatural or magical influences due to his being an elf and potentially shaped by the influence of what memories his reverie might dredge up. And the larger the number of traumatic, dark, fearful memories he has, the more likely he is to encounter them, especially if they’re coupled with a constant, ongoing fear of knowing these memories will be made anew each night unto infinity if he is stuck bound to Cazador’s service forever. Who wants to bet Cazador knew about this aspect of elven psychology/biology? Or at the very least speculated it, as far as having elven vampire spawn went? It will be interesting to see if there are other elven vampire spawn among Cazador’s underlings—either for the route of Cazador taking a particular extra pleasure in breaking elves because they are supposedly harder to influence in such a manner if he had others before Astarion, or if Astarion was the first elf Cazador turned, then perhaps Astarion received particular, special attention for being seen as an added challenge due to being an elf. Alexander from Amnesia however had to use a slightly defter touch to manipulate Daniel, having not so concrete a hold over him as Cazador over Astarion. But the torture of others, of fleeing to Alexander’s or Cazador’s promise of safety from an impending horror or threat of death, followed by a descent into the dark, unyielding despair of what Daniel or Astarion have done to survive? They do have potential parallels enough to make for a possible AU exploration in fics, certainly. One question that arises in this scenario of comparison though, is how much is Astarion aware of? How much of Cazador’s insidious influence does he recognize, in particular the more subtle parts that have seeped in over the years? Consider then the added layer of stark, blinding contrast, that he now has new memories, of new people, new experiences, in particular ones that are not torture or the anticipation of said torture, and it’s all in the daylight. Memories of daylight the likes of which he’s not had in two hundred years. Consider the mere color contrast from the lighting difference of daylight versus night time, like in the line where he asks  “Was the sky always this blue? It’s magnificent…” [Link here to the audio, presumed triggered after vampire status reveal] If he dreams in reverie and the memory that comes to mind is set in the daytime...would he feel a bit safer in hoping that it will be a safer, better dream, than if it’s set in the night time? Consider how much of a horrible, terror-inducing surprise it might be to dream of a sun-filled garden, only to see an idealized version of Cazador show up, a la the tadpole. That has to be the meanest surprise-twist Astarion could have for a dream setting there. But on other nights if he does not have memories of Cazador or tadpole dreams plaguing him, does he dream of the camp, the companions, the MC, the actions their group has undertaken? What does he think of those dream-memories? Are they only relatively restful compared to the other dark memories lurking in his head, or are these new daylight-filled memories actually objectively restful for him? Perhaps one additional group of reasons he’s willing to join up with the party, is to get away from the memories. With people, there is the added unknown factor of complexity and chemistry, of lives and histories not his own added to the mix of any situation they come across. Of interaction. Of not being left alone to his own thoughts and nightmares. This group’s members aren’t victims meant for Cazador’s fangs and thirst, nor are they Cazador’s spawn, fellow damned souls and torturous devils both who alternate suffering upon the rack and potentially being the ones to turn the rack’s wheels for whoever is tied down upon it that night. Mayhaps Astarion wants to remember more of the things he’s forgotten in the darkness of all the years he’s suffered under Cazador—to make new memories of things he would associate with living, with being free. To fill in the hollowed out abstract memories with fresh, new details of life lived in the sun, in the here and now. Is he aware of just how much he’s forgotten? Even if he isn’t fully cognizant of the full tally of all that he’s potentially lost...it must still hurt to have an idea of how much he’s lost even if he’s only partially aware. In this, he might hold more comparison to Justine from Amnesia’s DLC moreso than Daniel, depending on what choices Astarion makes if he’s the chosen origin, or on the MC’s choices if it’s a custom origin playthrough—with Justine, her choices are all setup and intended to be an exploration of who she is as an exploration of character, to find out if she is capable of mercy and compassion still—while exercising a great deal of monstrous cruelty for her own amusement. With Daniel there is still the solid comparison of thematic elements in that his quest is a desperate pursuit of revenge while trying to outrun a great evil, all while acknowledging that he himself is horrifying as well. Justine’s story would parallel Astarion far more so on the dark path through Baldur’s Gate 3, naturally, whereas Daniel, if one selected the Revenge Ending at the end of Amnesia, has more in common with Astarion’s tentatively projected good route—revenge, while also ending a greater evil than himself. The parallel with Daniel may possibly even include a comparison to Amnesia’s Good Ending depending on what direction Larian takes Astarion’s story in. I doubt Larian would have Astarion become self-sacrificial, but I could see him potentially becoming much more inclined towards helping his friends and party members on a good-aligned path, as he seems at least not entirely unwilling to engage in do-goodery, particularly if bribed enough. There’s also certainly the idea of comparing Daniel being “tainted” as Alexander put it by the Shadow to Astarion’s potential point of view on his vampirism, given some of his expressions at times in emotional scenes relating to it. Then also the comparison of all the horrors Daniel has inflicted upon people, as have Justine and Astarion, and the fact that after the amnestic-influence of their specific story elements in this build, they are ultimately all able to be influenced towards better or worse endings dependent upon more immediate influences, namely the people surrounding them, and less so from long-standing influences of their past such as tradition, upbringing, and other core elements of identity that memory so often brings to the table, or at least helps formulate the detailing of. Justine admittedly does not really have “better” endings, but her horror story’s core could be interpreted as “was truly a monster at heart all along” from start to finish. Will Astarion prove to be similarly corrupt at his core, something that had always been true deep down regardless of Cazador’s influence on him, ultimately sowing harm and ruin upon the world and people around him, like Justine? Or will he turn out to be leaning towards being more of a good-inclined, flawed character with a bloodstained history he regrets and seeks to overcome, like Daniel? As a disclaimer though, Daniel is not a Good-aligned personality. He did many horrifying things to preserve his life, and Astarion certainly has done terrible things canonically under Cazador’s direction, though we still wait to see what Astarion did back when he was free to choose. With the attention to detail Larian Studios is applying as is to just what we’ve seen in Early Access, I would expect a fairly nuanced backstory for Astarion with murky morality, based on what we see of his opinions and character traits now. Another idea just to let loose an additional fox among the chickens: Consider the added layer of potential morality conflict in the scenario where Astarion might actually have very well been pursuing his idea of justice as a magistrate— coupled with his low opinions of others which he may have had before Cazador turned him, along with his racist/discriminatory comments and behaviors (re: Gur, Goblins, Gnomes, Kobolds, etc), likely suggests he could very well have been very biased in his perspective on how he meted out justice. I would not be surprised if Larian Studios kept the story idea that he was selling criminals off, but I also would not be at all shocked if they added details where it made what Astarion was dishing out closer to overly-harsh street-justice—he makes a fine murder-hobo adventurer as it is when the watchword of the day for many an adventuring party is “Murder Is An Acceptable Solution If Words Aren’t Working.” I also wouldn’t bat an eye should we find out he was as judgmental and cynical before Cazador as he is now, albeit perhaps with a different bend to his outlook from life experience influences. This all really ties in well with the usual game build of everyone starting at level one, as brand new, green adventurers—barring past adventuring experiences for backstory like Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart do or potentially have—at the start of their journey, off to explore the world and grow into the world-savers (or world-enders) they’re destined to be in a given campaign. Astarion fits this very well on many levels, among them given the fact how new everything is to him with this sudden change of the rules altering the very fabric of his existence. He has to deal with figuring out how to deal with his vampirism under his own agency and all the ensuing complications that come with that, has to figure out how to socially interact with others in all new ways, has to level up to go on his personal quest to save his own hide and eventually his friends’ and the world—it’s all so new and different, even the things he’s experienced before with such a drastic perspective shift and a change in power. It ties right back into his tagline so nicely too if that ends up being a possible theme of his, the whole memory-loss/memory-informing-his-identity element of being an elf: “ Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” Can he leave those memories behind and forge himself into a better version of himself, if that is what he wants? What choices will Astarion make, if he does indeed have warped memories due to Cazador’s corroding influence to the point of some degree of memory loss? How will this flood of new sensory and social experiences change him as he goes forward? Who will Astarion choose to be, at the end of the day when they reach the road’s end? Will he let those dark memories twist and shape him, or will he try to make new ones among new friends, and follow their lead back into the sunlight? So many potential questions! Speaking of potential good-versus-bad-paths, this line isn’t in the game yet, but I feel it suggests Astarion might have a certain tolerance or perhaps even willingness to at least consider going out and saving the world, beyond lines we’re all familiar with already at the Tiefling celebration party: “Don’t you think we have other priorities right now? We need to save ourselves before we can save the world.” [Link here from Pjenn’s datamined post, dialogue theoretically occurs after a currently locked-off from Early Access encounter with a drow servant of the Absolute in the Underdark] It makes for a lot of intriguing possibilities, I dare say, all of which could make for marvelous variations in core character trait builds and influences for different interpretations of Astarion as a character. So many choices and gradients to play with, he and all the rest of the main cast have such nuance, it’s fantastic. The cast of characters all so far seem to have a wide variety of wants and motivations, and Larian seems like they might be quite determined to blur the line and inspire more rich exploration opportunities regarding perceived morality among many other potential topics of discussion—we have good characters with on-going flaws and darker motivations, evil characters with recurrent virtues and sympathetic appeal, and quite a few in-between when non-party-member NPCs are included in the mix. I do think Astarion along with all the rest of the party fit into those kinds of complicated-morality situations we’ve seen play out and be hinted at so very nicely, and it will be such fun to see how they grow through these experiences! It’s marvelous writing, directing, animation, acting, and just straight up work all across the board it looks like from over here. Anyway, thank you all for coming along on this literary ramble with me, I hope you had a fine time and that you all have a lovely day or night as befits your current timezone. Happy tidings to you, and stay safe everyone, and see you next time! :D