#i will NOT use alcohol to self-medicate. i will NOT become reliant on alcohol as a day-to-day reliever

[vulpinesaint]

ohhhhhhhh alcohol is so yummydelicious

[nikoofdeath]

So! Well I'm working on my tfw comic here's some info on the characters! Mostly red unless marked otherwise.

Spy: is tough love, he keeps others at a distance. But truly cares for the younger ones on the team (scout, runt, demo, sniper. [He isn't sure of pyro])

he will train them but push them to their limit. Rarely swears, but when he does it is in French.

Scout's mom is the only person to ever see through every disguise he has. She knows his body language and calling cards or quirks. When he would disguise himself to see Scout against his contract. She knew it was him every time and always found a way to kiss him.

Sniper: social to learn what the others quirks are. Would in theory betray them for half a peach.

Will steal items of the her mercs and hoard them. Can become obsessive sometimes.

Isn't interested in romance or sex, he'd rather observe others than get his hands dirty. But has strong friendships he refuses to admit are friendships.

Reads alot of books.

Climbs trees to get away from others will sleep anywhere. Has a habit of passing out in the middle of the day due to a poor sleep schedule.

Forgets to hydrate and eat, drives medic nuts.

Soldier: the only man to ever scare this brave American is heavy, has a respect for that man and will not cross him.

Made his wedding ring out of shrapnel from battles he and Zhanna have been in.

Speaking of Zhanna he loves her more then anything. If anyone slanders her they are dead. Very. Very. Dead.

His raccoons are his children. He thinks Pauling doesn't know about them, but Pauling is the oen that feeds them food that keeps them from getting ill form the poor diebt soldier gives.

Soldier can speak at least one other language, but no one knows what it is. He rather use it to easedrop on others then use it.

Collects things that remind him of his childhood and his wife for the possible prospect of children. "They will grow up as I did!"

Engie: when higher had a beard, pyro makes him shave it though as the comic gose.

Met Pyro before Pyro was given thr job. Was the one to tell Pauline about them.

Grew up with Leo in bee cave. Got him the job when Leo ran out of money for med school.

When is mad gets loud and stomps. Will drown self in work jf stressed.

Uses ductape for too much. Atheist 40% of his tech is reliant on duck tape somewhere on its body.

Pyro: is female.

Was daughter of someone who gave her skills to run a company.

Is very smart along the lines of Dell, tarvis, medic and Leo. But dosenr flaunt it. Sees it as nothing.

Has panic attacks. The mask helps with them liking being held tight and in smaller spaces.

Can read people well. Has those who are therapist of the crew check on those who are not ok. Knowing they are scary.

Collects taxidermy, runt gives them the failures if hers. Decorates the taxidermy in hats and doll clothing.

Can set anything on fire.

Demo: has made his own alcohol it sadly if touches the air will explode so uses it in bombs.

Loved Hawaiian shirts. Has always wanted to go but never had the time.

Is the one that tends to thr guardens of the base. Won't let pyro touch them after thr incident.

Is the therapist's friend but also the trouble maker will give you good life advice but also tell you to do something stupid. Thare is no invtween.

If it wasn't for heavy he would be the glue. Will talk to anyone. And helps cook most nights.

Has tattoos and feckless.

Scout: keeps a plush bear his dad gave him. Him. The others tease him but spy struggles not to tear up when he sees it.

Has a baseball his mom gave him when he got the job. Dosent know spy is the reason he got thr job. His mom begged him as their wasn't any Jobs for him.

Is forced to mentor runt. Iant a big fan of this but dose it for pauling.

Is more respectful than he acts. He acts loud and rude to seem cool. But his mother put a strict respectful streak in him.

Gave his dad a feather when he was 4 he doesn't remember. But Spy keeps it in his hat.

Heavy: is quiet gentle gient.

He is very smart and rather watch then talk.

Is very loyal and has had a..talk with soldier that if he ever hurts Zhanna he is a dead man. Soldier now refers to him as Sargent. He won't tell the others what he said.

Cooks well, but rather not do it. Not something he enjoys.

Is a artist. Paints in his free time.

Sings alot as well and plays five instruments.

Medic: is of Jewish descent. Doesn't..talk about his family or what happened in the war.

Has a gold ring he wears at all times on a necklace.

Dosenr talk much. Unless you get him talking about science. He loves to learn.

Is older than everyone. Rumor has it he knew the original mee teams. Uber has some interesting effects on life expectancy.

Guilty pleasure is anything chocolate.

Has money insecurities due to past. Will do anything for a bigger paycheck....anything

Leo: is medics apprentice. Has been working for 3 years.

Is quiet but loyal.

Has a gf back home. Sees runt as a little sister.

Runt and he have been pen pals for over ten years. A school project is how they ended up sending letters.

He knows what happened to Runt. He is the one who convinced Pauling to interview her.

Is shocked runt got the job was fully ready to tey to blackmail Pauling.

Runt: the youngest of the group. Only having a year of work under her belt.

Was trialed for six months before first battle.

Has alot to learn. But wants to do everything perfectly. Is rough on herself for this reason.

Can't lose this job. If she does she is sent back home or die. Has hallucinations so fears will be put into a loony bin if family finds out.

Is eldest of six. Loves her family.

Spy teaches her how to torture people. She enjoys it perhaps too much. For her she likes to know how people tick.

Blu engie (G): is quiet bur social.

Has a sadistic side. Will gutt you if given chance.

Second in command of Blu.

Was born without left hand, when engie lost his right he'd make jokes to his short cousin about it.

Is Dell's cousin. He is younger but taller.

Is patient and if mad gose silent. He dosent emote much unless he's with someone he likes or trusts..oddly enough..runt of red is one of those people

Pauling: finds scout cute but puts job first.

Is nerdy type. Has played dnd at least five or seven times.

Loves to collect rocks. Has a few scout and the mercs gave her.

Loves to read.

Has coffee more than anything else. Her hands shake because of this. Still is one of the best shots of the whole crew.

Teaches scout to read when they have days off.

Runt and her go out to get coffee and Runt gives her info she already knows but likes having a female friend.

Well that's it suffer I guess idk I got a comic to make!

[elizastarling]

About Eliza

( sarah gadon, 33, cisfemale, she/her, march 31st ) Was that ELIZA STARLING née DUNN  ? I heard a rumor they work for the FAUST family, but who knows for sure ? They can be a bit SELF-RELIANT & IMPATIENT, but I also heard they can be ASTUTE & LOYAL. You’ll usually find them at FATES in their spare time, when they’re not being an EMERGENCY PHYSICIAN. You may want to keep an eye on that one ! ( jas, she/her, 24, gmt+1, trigger: OOC drama, april 15th )

Biography - death tw, pregnancy tw, miscarriage tw, alcohol abuse tw

Full name: Dr. Eliza Jane Starling née Dunn

Nickname: Lizzy (which she disapproves of)

Date of birth: March 31st, 1987

Age: 33

Zodiac: Aries

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Gender/pronouns: cisfemale, she/her

Eye/hair color: Blue, dark blonde (dyed lighter)

Occupation: Emergency physician

Gang affiliation: Faust

Hometown: Aurora, IL

Nationality: American

Relationship status: Widowed, single

PAST:

Childhood to college: Eliza grew up in Aurora, IL, with an older sister and a younger brother. She had a picture-perfect childhood, her parents were both teachers who encouraged their children to essentially be whatever they wished to be as long as they were kind and compassionate. Eliza was always an exceptionally good student, bright and naturally curious, she made it through high school with flying colors. For as long as she could remember, Eliza had a desire to help people and animals alike, but she eventually chose to pursue a medical career specializing in emergency medicine. Alternatively, she would have gone to veterinary school, but something about working in such a high-pressure environment simply drew her in.

College, marriage: Eliza had never given relationships much thought before she met the man she would marry at a much younger age than anyone expected of her. Her goal was to focus entirely on her career, but the day she met Michael, on the very same path as her to become a medical doctor, something about the combination of his rugged handsomeness and his brain had Eliza hooked instantly. They were inseparable throughout college, painting their future while others devoted themselves to partying and flings. Among their peers, the couple stood out, but it didn’t bother them for both simply knew they had found their perfect match. They got married in their mid-twenties, their wedding taking place on a whim but deep down, both knew it was inevitable, so they simply gave into their love and shrugged off what others had to say.

Moving to Chicago and working for the Faust family: Moving to Chicago and working for the Faust family was entirely Michael’s idea. Initially, Eliza was more than against it, not wanting to risk what they had worked for, both professionally and personally with regard to their marriage. Michael eventually talked her into it, he’d always had the gift of persuasion and ultimately, Eliza was always inclined to put her faith in her husband no matter how insane his plans sometimes seemed. Eliza insisted on continuing what she considered not only her job, but her calling, being a medical doctor, while Michael also worked as a crimson for the Faust family. For the most part, Eliza asked few questions about Michael’s work, knowing that if they broached the subject of killing and whether or not it was ever justifiable, it would most certainly chip away at their relationship.

Michael’s death (death tw, pregnancy tw, miscarriage tw): A few months prior to Michael’s death, their relationship had started to become more strained, in particular because both had agreed long ago that should they find themselves in the fortunate position to have a nice home and a financially stable background, they would like to try for a baby. What was lacking according to Eliza was safety, though. Despite the fears and doubts Eliza harbored, she agreed to it, once again putting her full trust in Michael and praying that the strain on their relationship would be cast away by a new addition to their little family. Michael was killed on the job on in January 2020 by a member of another gang. Two weeks after Michael’s death, a pregnancy test taken alone in what used to be their home confirmed that Eliza was eight weeks pregnant. She was able to listen to the baby’s heartbeat once before she suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks pregnant.

PRESENT DAY (alcohol abuse tw):

Eliza still works as an emergency physician for the Faust family. Coming to terms with Michael’s death has been a whirlwind of emotions on some days, on other days, she feels nothing but sheer and utter indifference towards the things she used to enjoy, only her work giving her peace of mind. (That, and she also finds solace in alcohol, but she wouldn’t admit that to anyone). She still lives in the house she shared with Michael, not much of it has changed other than that she removed all pictures of them as well as Michael’s belongings. One day after the first anniversary of Michael’s death, Eliza stopped wearing her wedding ring.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

Work colleagues, Faust affiliates, Faust family members. Basically anyone who knows her and knew Michael.

Friends. In particular: Support system. The friend who is there for her during her darkest moments, of which there are a lot.

Potential love interest/initial attraction. Eliza knows deep down she hasn’t lost her faith in love, but she is very much scarred by what she went through. This connection would basically be at the very start of something that could lead to romance. However, in spite of her loneliness and desire to love and to be loved once more, Eliza would be very hesitant for part of her feels that pursuing another man is in some odd way a form of cheating on Michael as she has not dated anyone since his passing.

[citrineghost]

Can we stop romanticizing caffeine addiction?

I’m not saying people shouldn’t enjoy coffee. By all means. But, can we stop normalizing the reliance on caffeine to get by day to day? Can we stop pressuring other people to use caffeine to get by? I feel like this is something that has slowly become pervasive in, at least, American society.

I have a lot of important stuff to say on this, but I want it to be clear that it’s mostly observation and based on things I’ve heard with no source. I skimmed some articles for this to check if I was off-base, but most of them were about chemical effects, rather than social effects. If you follow me, you know I tend to have a lot of opinions about sociological matters, and that’s what this is. I don’t have a degree. I’m not a chemist or a doctor. Take what you read with a grain of salt. If anyone has further information or sources on these topics, I highly encourage you to reblog and share them, both for my own research and for others’ education.

Before reading, please consider taking this survey I made to further study how people consume caffeine. Every response helps! If I get enough survey responses, I’ll create an addition to this post with a breakdown of the information I’ve gathered.

Analysis under the cut

It’s treated almost like how young people treat alcohol.

You’ll see teenagers and college students who go out drinking every day they don’t have school the next morning, take shots on weekdays, and drink alcohol from water bottles when they’re stressed. As long as they’re not drunk 100% of the time - as long as they aren’t a 40 year old surrounded by empty beer bottles and a stack of divorce papers, they can’t be an alcoholic, right? While a lot of people might grow out of their abuse of alcohol, all of those teens and college students who don’t end up growing into those miserable middle-aged people that they felt so separate from - so superior to - as young adults.

The same way alcohol is treated as a solution to stress, caffeine is treated like a solution to fatigue. Again, I am NOT saying that drinking some coffee when you’re a bit tired is some kind of moral dilemma. What I am saying is that, while it doesn’t have the same effects as alcohol, caffeine is an active substance that affects how your body functions. It increases your heart rate. It makes you feel more alert. It is a stimulant.

To get an idea of how caffeine affects the body and mind, consider for a moment that people with ADHD frequently self medicate with caffeine without realizing that’s what they’re doing. The stimulant effects of caffeine do very similar things to what amphetamines do. For someone with ADHD, this can be helpful in focusing. Ask someone with ADHD if caffeine energizes them and many will tell you that it actually feels calming. I know, as a teen, coffee was a before bed treat for me. That’s because, with ADHD, the brain is understimulated and overcompensating for it. By stimulating it, it stops working overdrive and chills out because it’s getting the stimulation it should be producing by itself.

However, when non-ADHD people drink caffeine, it amps them up. It gives them energy and they become chemically dependent on it - i.e. addicted to it. You can see evidence of caffeine addiction by stopping drinking it. If you drink coffee every single day, try going without it for a week. You’ll probably start getting aching, throbbing headaches.

Don’t forget that caffeine is an addictive substance, even if it’s normalized.

“Oh, it’s just a caffeine headache. That’s normal.”

Caffeine headache. Do you know what that is? That’s the normalized term for withdrawal from caffeine. As in, the kind of withdrawals someone with a chemical addiction has.

Most things can be used safely in moderation. That’s the exact reason amphetamines, like Adderall, are safe to use in controlled doses, but methamphetamine is dangerous and becomes immediately addictive. For that reason, drinking caffeine and reaping the benefits of its stimulative properties can be fine if you’re doing so every few days to pick up some slack from a late night or to keep you alert during a roadtrip. However, when you get to a point of using caffeine every single day, or multiple times a day, you are reaching a point of abusing it.

Obviously, abusing caffeine is not the same as abusing something like alcohol or hard drugs. However, it does have negative impacts on the body and psyche. For one thing, your addiction to caffeine makes you dependent on it. Instead of being able to wake up and shake off a little bit of tiredness in the morning, you suddenly feel sluggish consistently until you ‘have your morning coffee.’ Your body has become so accustomed to having its stimulation delivered to it out of a mug that it has stopped doing the work to keep you awake on its own.

Your morning coffee turns into morning coffee, lunch break coffee, Starbucks on the way home, and an extra shot on days where you’re feeling a little extra tired. Again, this isn’t about shaming people for liking coffee. Coffee tastes great. Starbucks is delicious. 

The point I’m trying to make is, are you consciously aware of what you’re doing to your body and mind? If you are, it’s your decision to make. But, I know there are doubtlessly countless people - teens especially - who copy mom and dad, buy coffee for the taste and don’t think about the caffeine contents, or rely on energy drinks to get through finals. For those who haven’t really thought about the extent of the effects of caffeine, I want to provide an opportunity to realize that it might not be just a fun, cool thing. It might actually be doing you harm.

How does caffeine cause someone harm?

When I say that caffeine can end up causing you harm, I don’t mean it’s going to cause liver failure or something. I mean that the way we have normalized caffeine addiction is inherently unhealthy. The way it has become something a large percentage of people have, rather than those who might genuinely need the assistance of caffeine and find the minor addiction worth it, is not okay.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by slowly reducing a person’s ability to sleep, long-term. There are some studies that suggest people with caffeine addiction can develop an inability to get the sleep they need over time. This may be caused by waking up too soon due to the body’s craving of caffeine or it can be caused by difficulty falling asleep from the residual caffeine effects.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by creating a disruptive habit. Consider: do you feel good about the fact that you can’t function without caffeine? Do you get frustrated by the fact that you have to spend money on your lunch break to top up or risk crashing in the middle of work or class? The fact is, the average person doesn’t need to rely on caffeine every morning - they have only grown to rely on it due to a routine that became an addiction.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by amplifying certain medication side effects, which makes getting a proper medication dosage impossible without the side effects taking over. This is true of stimulants, like those used to treat ADHD, among other things. Rapid heart rate, anxiety, and psychosis can be developed or amplified when taking both stimulants and overdoing it with caffeine.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by amplifying existing conditions, such as anxiety, psychosis, insomnia, and so on. If you have any symptoms of mental illness, you are likely making them more pronounced by drinking caffeine.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by permeating social environments. Back to what I said above about people treating caffeine the way young people do alcohol. There is a massive amount of peer pressure surrounding caffeine. And no, I don’t mean coffee in general, I mean caffeine itself. 

People (in the US, specifically - idk about everywhere else) will mock people who don’t like coffee. 

Teens form brand loyalty to energy drink companies and pressure friends into drinking the same things as them. 

If you don’t drink coffee every morning, people act like you’re not really a working adult. There is something about coffee and caffeine that has become synonymous with maturity in our culture.

If you like coffee, but you opt for decaf or half-caf, people treat you like you’re pretentious, childish, or weak in some way, even if you do it for reasons other than an aversion to caffeine dependency. (like medical reasons)

If you go to a coffee shop with friends and order tea or something else uncaffeinated, you may become the butt of jokes. (“What’s the point of going to a coffee shop if you’re drinking hot chocolate?” /scoff/)

Teens are pressured by peers to drink coffee in the morning just like adults do. If your parents don’t let you drink coffee, or you just choose not to, your classmates think you’re lame for it, or some kind of goody goody.

The parallels to alcohol use are startling. Reread that list and imagine it’s talking about alcohol. Every bulletpoint in the list can be translated perfectly.

This social stigma around caffeine and the choice not to consume it is harmful to a person’s psyche and can lead to caffeine dependency that otherwise would not have developed.

And the ultimate question: Why do we feel the need to become caffeine dependent?

Is it all peer pressure and the joy of a hot cup of coffee? I don’t think so. If we take a look at the bigger picture, like most things, it can be blamed on living in a capitalistic society. Caffeine consumption is largely caused by the desperation to rid yourself of exhaustion - to give yourself an energy boost. 

Why do we need to do that so much that we form an addiction and become reliant on caffeine? It’s simple: we are overworked, pushed too hard in school, and are forced to take on a fast-paced, stressful schedule just to keep on top of bills. Coffee becomes one of the only reprieves from a life of fatigue and burnout. If we don’t have the energy to spend three hours on that paper, we fail out of college and lose out on thousands of dollars in student loans - lose out on the opportunity to get a job that will pay enough to live on. If we don’t show up to work with a smile and a spring in our step, we get fired for not representing the company positively enough. 

We aren’t allowed to be tired. We aren’t allowed to rest. It drives us to self-medicate with caffeine so that while we’re working ourselves into an early grave, we can at least ignore the exhaustion that comes alongside it.

The takeaway: Are you actually happy with how you consume caffeine?

Take a moment to ask yourself, do you drink caffeine because you need to to sustain your lifestyle (working night shifts, traveling long hours very frequently, etc.), or do you drink it because you started and you don’t know how to stop? If the answer is that you like the taste of the drinks or you’re not really sure, it’s time to consider healthier-for-you alternatives. You can:

Drink decaf coffee, decaf teas, decaf sodas, and replace energy drinks with something else carbonated that isn’t based around caffeine consumption

Give yourself a withdrawal break for a couple months to allow your body to get back to normal and then limit caffeine consumption to once every few days or less

Find other drink alternatives that don’t generally have caffeine to begin with

If you’re drinking caffeine to survive the type of life you’re forced to live under late stage capitalism, it might be time to start pushing back so that you can remain energized and happy without having to resort to self-medicating. We shouldn’t have to do that. We should be able to live happy lives without caffeine.

[dietsauthority]

Can Health Food Be Addictive? Orthorexia Nervosa`s Risks

We consider dependency in the many standard terms: Fascination. Vice. Bad for You. And a lot of the moment it holds true. Drugs, cigarettes, high levels of caffeine, alcohol-- the most typical compounds we link with dependency-- have a history of primarily adverse results on the body. Yet it doesn't stop there. Current research study has actually linked processed foods-- especially those high in trans fats-- to likewise having addicting homes. Of course, things typically aren't so basic. Can brown rice be habit forming? What about carrots? An apple? As well as if so, is that truly a bad thing?

Addiction is specified as a physical and/or mental reliance on a (normally) psychoactive substance like drug, heroin or cigarette, in spite of the negative price of continued use. There was most likely once a sensation of pleasure or satisfaction, as the addiction become more powerful, the compound only provides a feeling of 'typical' as well as no much longer provides its reliant much pleasure.

Eating problems have plagued the Western globe for years-- both over- as well as under- eating-- while having two greatly different unfavorable impacts on the body, cause a likewise distorted mental connection with food. That is, the patient detests its results. The morbidly obese insurance claims he or she can't quit consuming foods they understand misbehave for them, while the anorexic or bulimic is so scared of foods impacts on their body image, they'll most likely to life-threatening sizes to avoid or evacuate binges of it from the body.

So where does a natural food addiction entered into the photo? Isn't healthy food constantly great for us? According to Dr. Steve Bratman, author of the book 'Wellness Food Junkies' who coined the term for the problem orthorexia in the late 1990s (and asserts he additionally experienced from it), 'orthorexia appears to have elements of OCD [obsessive compulsive problem] It may likewise have components of common anorexia nervosa. It is often not very much like common OCD or typical anorexia nervosa.'

In a 2004 research study entitled, 'Orthorexia nervosa: an initial research study with a proposal for diagnosis as well as an attempt to gauge the measurement of the sensation,' Italian scientists at the University of Rome wrapped up that 'The orthorexic topics attribute features that show their certain 'feelings' to food (' hazardous' to define a saved item, 'artificial' for industrially generated items, 'healthy' for biological fruit and vegetables) and also show a strong or uncontrollable need to consume when really feeling worried, ecstatic, delighted or guilty.'

The medical diagnosis of orthorexia (' ortho' indicates 'right' or 'correct') was not recognized as an eating condition for nearly a years, and even today, its ramification is regularly tested. We are after all, a nation suffering from significant gaps in healthy and balanced consuming, kids under age 4 are developing diabetic issues as well as coming to be seriously overweight together with their parents. It would appear that no amount of healthy consuming might ever before be way too much. We are additionally a varieties prone to complicated answers.

Perhaps you understand (or are) a fitness-obsessed person. The I-go-for-a-morning-jog-in-a-winter-blizzard-or-die-trying kind. It's the addiction-overrides-logic (shoveling all the snow will certainly be a significant job out per se) habits that separates the healthy from the addicted. While externally, the uber-athlete could appear more self-displined and regimented than those of us that need (or manage with) much less exercise, yet the addict stresses, needs the adrenaline rush from an exercise and also punishes himself when it's not accomplished by stressing as well as frequently increasing up at the following workout opportunity.

Similarly, inning accordance with the Eating Disorders Assist Overview, 'An individual with orthorexia will invest simply as much energy and time considering food as a person with bulimia or anorexia. They might not think of calories, but they think of the total 'health benefits', just how the food was refined, prepared, and so on' As well as furthermore, when something 'unpure' gets on their mouth, the subject could consume over removing it from the body a lot like a bulimic should remove. The fixation and also addiction has actually led researchers and also physicians to change their viewpoint in the last few years, now recognizing the occurrence of the disorder as different from other consuming or obsessive-compulsive disorders.

While not almost as dangerous as anorexia nervosa or bulimia, the fixation with a regarded 'pure' state thought to be attained by obsessively controling the quality of food, orthorexia is currently viewed as a feasible 'entrance diet' to the even more serious consuming conditions or the advancement of other obsessive-compulsive actions. Like the anorexic, the orthorexic has a tendency to be excessively self-critical, obsessed with body photo, focused on the foods, and one of the best difficulty: a rejection that the actions is in and also of itself, paradoxically, unhealthy.

But what about the rest of us?

Avoiding hazardous pesticides, chemicals and dangerous genetically customized foods is a reputable way of living choice. There are several recognized risks to consuming chemicals, BPA and also fabricated sweeteners like aspartame. And also, we are undoubtedly a nation obsessively over-eating, especially refined processed food. Making conscientious selections for on your own and also your family have actually possibly never ever been extra vital. Know the distinction between analysis tags to stay clear of high fructose corn syrup and also avoiding certain foods with a militant stringency, cooking in your home since it's affordable and healthy and balanced versus consuming details foods prepared in a particular way, checking the look of active ingredients (like fresh or tidy) versus looking for out the viewed 'healthiest' choice. And always talk to a medical professional if you feel you could have any type of sort of consuming disorder.

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ���emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 

[howlongdoesalcoholstayinbody]

How to quit alcohol

I used to wonder if I could ever quit alcohol, sometimes I just couldn't afford to drink and the thought of going without for a few days would instill me with panic. I would drink the cheapest, strongest and nastiest alcohol, so that gives you an idea about how desperate and financially dire my situation was! I was addicted for nearly thirty years, started the day with a drink and alcohol was never out of my system.

If you're serious about quitting, you could do it today, right after reading this article you really could make the decision to stop and never drink again.

Stopping drinking is easy, the hard part is getting motivated to do it.

How do you get to be motivated? It took me a long time to find the answer to that question. The problem is when you are an alcoholic you put alcohol before everything else, your family, friends and your health.

It doesn't matter how much damage your addiction causes, it's your best friend and confidante, remaining faithful to the grave. Could any other area of your life ever be so dependable?

How the hell can anything break such a strong relationship? You may well be aware of how much your habit is costing you financially, physically and emotionally...but you continue to drink, where is the logic in that? The reason you continue to drink is because your addiction has become a survival instinct.

The Method

* List the negative consequences of your addiction. The first step towards stopping drinking is to look at the damage your addiction is causing. Make a list of all of the negative things that have happened to you whilst drinking, the times when you put yourself or others in danger, the blackouts, the times you embarrassed yourself, lost control of your bladder, hurt anyone else or did anything you regretted in the morning. If you are a problem drinker you'll most probably have a very long list. Do you really want to continue adding to the list? It's only a matter of time before you really do yourself or someone else some damage.

* Stop making excuses for you addiction. Accept the possibility that you can live without alcohol. If you really want to quit, you have to be honest with yourself, because whatever problems you have can be tackled effectively without alcohol.

* Seek medical advice. If you are physically dependent on alcohol, quitting can be dangerous and can result in death. Your Physician can provide you with advice and medication to help you to quit. You may also get the incentive to stop drinking when your Physician reveals what damage alcohol has already done to you. He or she may also be able to arrange counseling for you and detoxification if necessary.

* Beware of Alcoholics Anonymous. Think carefully before going to Alcoholics Anonymous for help. Alcoholics Anonymous recovery statistics really aren't that great, their 12 step program is not flexible and will strip you of your own personal power and identity. There are better alternatives, Rational Recovery (in my opinion) is by far the best option available for the alcoholic.

* Develop an ongoing strategy and discover alternatives. Staying off alcohol really isn't that hard, since I quit I've had to deal with the death of someone I loved dearly and drinking alcohol never even crossed my mind. I live in a house where I am the only person who does not drink (there's always alcohol in the house). Alcohol is always around me, but luckily so are non-alcoholic alternatives. Non alcoholic beers are available in most bars and restaurants and there are plenty of non alcoholic drinks to choose from. On my Stag night I drank orange juice and watched with amusement as my friends got incredibly drunk and made fools of themselves whilst I managed to retain a sense of dignity. (It was a great feeling!)

* Try self hypnosis and meditation. You may find it useful to write some affirmations, affirmations will make it easier for you to deal with recovery. The biggest problem I had was with my self-confidence and self-esteem. I recommend reading "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. I found this book was a lifesaver during the early stages of my recovery. I would also recommend that you look at cognitive behavioral therapy. I found CBT was an effective way of dealing with my core beliefs about myself and life.

* Give your life a purpose! If you've lived solely for alcohol, there is going to be a large gap in your life and you may well experience all of the sensations you'd associate with the loss of a lover. I launched myself into work and made a considerable amount of money online. I also personally felt a desire to help other people overcome their addiction and that is why I set up Addictvoice, I also became drawn towards spirituality.

Quitting drinking is not going to be an easy ride but in doing so you will become a much stronger person. You'll become more confident and not reliant on alcohol every time you face a problem. You will never suffer from those terrible hangovers which make you unable to face work. You'll be in complete control of your faculties and will never embarrass yourself in public. Your close relationships will become stronger and you will get a great deal of respect from the people you love. You really do owe it to yourself to stop drinking, but you can only do so if you are prepared to change and to take responsibility for your life, and only you can do that.

[braverydefined-blog]

important thing that i’ve been meaning 2 talk about for forever  :   john’s ptsd !!   because pretty much no matter the verse ,   if it’s after his brother dies   (  when john’s 20 in main verse or 17 in modern verse  ) ,   he has it.   i’m no expert   &   don’t have ptsd myself ,   so pls let me know if i get something wrong here ,   but i have done my research ,   so hopefully everything’s alright.   (  tw for mental illness / suicide / death.  )

001.  JEMMY’S DEATH.

i feel like everyone expects that a post - war verse john would have ptsd ,   but he has it before the war even starts   (  and in modern verses too ,   but i’m gonna focus on canon verse   &   post - war au’s in this post  ).   when john’s 20 ,   his little brother   (  james ‘jemmy’ laurens ,   9 years old  )   dies in his arms after falling from a roof when john was supposed to be looking after him.   this is the start of everything.   after this he tends to detach himself from others   (  leading to his breakup with francis kinloch a bit later   &   his ensuing one night stand that gets martha manning pregnant and causes a whole other slew of problems for both  ) ,   and his depression gets way worse.   at this point ,   he’s in london studying law ,   and doesn’t have many friends thanks to his father’s influence on his life ,   so there’s no one to pull him back from this depression or try to help him cope     –––––     his only friends at the time ,   francis kinloch and louis de vegobre ,   are still in geneva ,   leaving john 100% alone.   this only makes everything worse   (  my headcanon is that during this period is one of the two times john actually attempted or came close to attempting suicide ,    the other time being when he was a prisoner of war in philadelphia.   both are times when john is isolated from those who care about him   &   has just experienced some kind of trauma.  ) 

already ,   even before he goes to join the war ,   this affects his life in a lot of ways.   he becomes more afraid of attaching himself to people ,   scared that they’ll somehow meet the same fate as his brother ,   and that it’ll be his fault.   he blames himself entirely   &   thinks he should’ve been able to save jemmy ,   somehow ,   and feels incredibly guilty over it.   he develops a fear of heights ,   not for himself but for others     –––––     if someone he knows is ,   for example ,   climbing a tree ,   john’s likely to be having an anxiety attack on the ground until they get down.   he has frequent nightmares about jemmy’s death ,   to the point where he often forgoes sleep and decides to read or work instead.   he doesn’t experience flashbacks ,   which i feel might be an important thing to note since it’s the most commonly thought of symptom ,   but there’s plenty of other ways it impacts his life.

now let’s talk about the affects of jemmy’s death on john during  /  after the war.   during the war ,   his ptsd from jemmy’s death only gets worse.   in addition to the things he experienced before ,   his nightmares now meld the jemmy incident with scenes from the war ,   making them even more persistent and even more terrifying.   he’s reckless ,   nearly suicidal in his quest for glory ,   and sees it as some kind of penance     –––––     if jemmy hadn’t died ,   john wouldn’t be nearly so eager to follow in his footsteps   ;   his self - blame from jemmy’s death is a major part of why he thinks he deserves to die before the war’s end.   it’s even easier for him to avoid sleep during the war ,   claiming he has some writing to do for the general or that he needs to go over his battle strategy one more time     –––––     he sleeps very little until he’s too fatigued to do anything else ,   and only then will he get a full night’s sleep.   finally ,   he doesn’t tell anyone about the reasons behind why he acts this way.   he fully believes if he told someone of jemmy’s death ,   they would see that it’s his fault and hate him     –––––     very few people could get that information out of him   (  if hamilton   &   lafayette were persistent ,   they probably could ,   but i doubt he’d trust anyone else enough to tell them ,   especially given the aforementioned issues with attaching himself to people.  )   

002.   MORE PRE-WAR SHIT. 

another thing that’s important to mention here is my headcanons for what john does just before the start of the war   (  because historically he joined up after the war had already begun ,   but since the musical places him in nyc before the war i go with the musical canon.  )   he was a mercenary ,   almost ,   for the sons of liberty     –––––     he killed brits they needed taken out ,   basically.   kept the tories from getting suspicious of their operations.   and he was good at it     –––––     but he was also only 22 years old ,   and had never killed anyone or been to war ,   so in summary it fucks him up.

he tends to hide it ,   as he tries to hide all of his symptoms ,   but this develops in slightly different ways than his trauma from jemmy’s death.   he’s hypervigilant     –––––     his recklessness may look like he doesn’t care enough to notice what’s going on around him ,   and he tries hard to create an air of nonchalance when he’s not too busy being angry at the british government ,   but he’s also jumpy as hell if startled.   he has angry outbursts ,   sometimes at the slightest of things.   there’s also breakdowns sometimes     –––––     he makes sure he’s alone when these happen ,   but they’re not pretty ,   and usually involve a lot of tears   &   eventual dissociation.   the effects of this are louder than the effects of the jemmy incident ,   and tend to be more aggressive.

003.   WAR SHIT. 

ok now the part everyone would probably expect.   at this point it’s pretty much just additions to the same symptoms he’s had for years     –––––     some of them change with the addition of the war ,   but for the most part they just shift slightly.   like ,   his nightmares start featuring both jemmy   &   the war   ;   even after the war is done in verses where he survives   (  which is the verses i’m gonna focus on for this part  ) ,   he hardly sleeps.   it’s easier for him to sleep if there’s someone else there   (  which sucks for him since in main post - war verse he’s lonely as fuck ,   unless elams or some similar arrangement happens  ) ,   but that also runs the risk of him waking up   &   dissociating   &   his jumpiness making him see the other as a threat for half a second     –––––     it’s only happened once ,   probably with alexander during the war ,   but he’s terrified of the possibility of him hurting someone he loves.

also ,   just as how things were the loudest ,   metaphorically speaking ,   during the pre - war shit ,   things are the quietest in their manifestation now.   this doesn’t mean they affect him any less ,   but he’s more withdrawn in how he shows them.   his recklessness isn’t as strong after the war     –––––     and during the war it could be disguised as just a soldier doing his job ,   but after ,   when he is reckless   (  in bar brawls  &  etc  )   it’s very clearly apparent as a suicidal act.   he doesn’t make as much effort to hide that fact after the war     –––––     in most verses he doesn’t think anyone would really care either way.   his angry outbursts all but stop as he gets older and further from the events ,   but much of this is because his depression only gets worse ,   and tends to overrule most everything else.   

given that treatment wasn’t really ,,   a thing ,,,,  back in the 1700s ,   he’s left mainly to deal with this on his own.   he tries to use alcohol to self - medicate but that doesn’t tend to make it any better ,   so he never really reaches a point where he’s reliant on it  /  never ends up full - on alcoholic.   if he has people in his life he can lean on ,   that makes it somewhat better ,   but as i discussed in this other longass meta ,   in most post - war verses he doesn’t really have anyone     –––––     and even if he does ,   he’s not open about his issues   ;   he doesn’t talk about it ,   and tends to shut himself away when things get too bad.   i do think that ,   if he does have people who care about him   (  poly elams!!!  )   &   that are willing to help him through it ,   he could work to make things more manageable with time ,   but in most verses he doesn’t have that   &   he’s left alone to work through it all.

i was gonna also include a part on reincarnation verse   (  summary  :   he has almost all the same symptoms but with no idea why until he starts to get flashbacks of his previous life  ) ,   but lbr this is already like 1.5k words long and that is way more than i intended to write here ,   so to sum this up  :   john’s life is tragic and he needs a therapist really badly.

[pinkbiscuits-perks-and-curses]

this is a year by year telling of my life, it is by no means complete and only lists what i want out there yet is probably not suited for everyone, check the tags and please don't over react

(i have a terrible sense of time and almost everything is an approximation of the time it happened, this post is also very long)

2001: October 4th: the day of my birth, born as the second child to two people that didn't want any kids, (but hey, they had been together for 13 years, never used any contraception and only had 2 kids 9 years apart, pretty good odds if you ask me) i was born 3 weeks to early, had a misshapen ear, sported a full head of black hair and had bright blue eyes

2001 -2004: normal baby stuff, my dad got a vasectomy (don't want a third unexpected child), my black hair fell out and blonde hair grew in it's place, eyes became less bright (life never set well with me, so no surprise there)

2004-2007: kinder garden was pretty normal, i wasn't allowed to ride a bike because i was shit at it, so my mom had to drive, i was bullied a bit, made friends, the normal things

2007-2008: changed schools to start basic school, made new friends, learned how to read and how to write, never in a good way however since my handwriting is shit,

this is also the time where the concept of death started to make sense to me, now normally that wouldn't have been a problem, but my parents where very much spiritualists, not to mention never really teaching me anything i wasn't required to know, being of the mind set that letting a child learn it themselves allows them to express themselves how they want, (this probably came from the fact both my parents were sheltered as children not having much freedom), however i was a child that needed support, i wasn't given that by my parents so my grandfather tried to see if he could help, but it was to no avail, at the moment my grandfather realised i had already developed abandonment issues

now, the way i saw death was as a form of separation, they weren't gone, they where simply on a different realm of existence, (spiritualism 101), this made me think of death as a form of abandonment, this fucked with what i perceived as life, making it so i believed the meaning of it was to let go, this pretty much made me feel alone at all times to a point i had night terrors of my family abandoning me, but remember abandonment was pretty much equal to death for me at that point, i had night terrors on a weekly basis for a rough 5 years, still having them occasionally now

2008-2013: the rest of basic school, pretty normal all things considered, hair became brown, however patchy, meaning i had brown hair in certain places and blond in most others, so my family decided to dye my hair an even shade of brown until it became brown completely when i was around 10, my eyes became more greyish,

at school everything was fine, a bit isolated because of my personality and the fact i was rather tall, but i always had some friends

i should mention that my parents took me to the bar ever since i was like 3, but this is when i became aware that it wasn't such a normal thing, my parents where acrobatic dancers performing once a week as practise, this was at the back of a bar so it was kinda inevitable, it just became a habit to bring me and my sister along, even if it wasn't for a performance, my sister eventually started practising herself, i was an introvert, so this constant public interaction kind of clashed with me, but it was not a bad thing, just grew up that way and ended up being rather socially out going even though i still prefer being alone

was nearly choked to death by someone because "i was being a brat", don't remember when exactly but should've been around age 8 or 9

my adoptive grandpa died, even though he lived with me at home, i never really had much of a connection with him, however i did see my father and uncle carry his corpse down the stairs, so that was another experience

started swimming as hobby, around age 9 i started being forwarded into competitive swimming, however this made me incredibly stressed, basically i had no free time, i had swimming practise Wednesday evening and on Saturday, i would visit my maternal grandparents on Sunday, and Friday evening i would be in a bar with my parents, so i stopped swimming around age 13

i started drinking alcohol on a weekly basis since around age 8, my grandparents would give me a glass of wine when we came to visit, my parents would give me alcohol as well, i distinctly remember having a bottle of a type of pasoa in the fridge that i would mix with my fruit juice and drink while watching tv,

2013-2015: started high school, very new, very stressful, but alright, puberty was in full swing, started coming to school using a bike to disastrous results (scars for days) was still swimming at this point so i had no free time, was allowed to stay at home more often and no longer had a fixed bed time, but since i had a ton of homework and had to wake up early every day it changed very little about my life

started becoming more self reliant, started doing less for school, and just lazed around more but never in a way that was obvious. realised i was bisexual.

my sister's boyfriend started living with us

a peaceful time not much happened that is noteworthy, the calm before the storm as you will find out.

2015-2016: my house burned down, no one was injured, yet when this happened i was on a school trip, so that was the first thing i was faced with the moment i came back, i lucky thing in disguise, because this meant that i still had some of my clothes.

luckily for me and my family we owned a second house, a shoe store my family runs, so me, my sister, her boyfriend, my parents, and my grandparents lived in this house that was just large enough, my uncle and aunt moved to another house owned by my aunts parents.

this made me depressed as shit, i no longer did anything for school, started sleeping every moment i could, became suicidal, and started separating myself from my family

so i started drinking, a lot, it was always in the house and as long as i was smart about it and took only a little from each bottle, then my parents wouldn't notice, this became worse over time, mostly because the alcohol actually helped me get my thoughts together, but soon enough i was not content with just drinking every now and then, and so i started sneaking out of the house to get drunk, and this lasted for 2 maybe 3 months and then what little money i had was gone

at this moment i would still sneak out, i would try and get people i knew to buy me a drink, many did, and this got me in contact with people i shouldn't have had contact with, i started doing odd jobs at first, cleaning, going to the store, doing laundry, even cooking, however it soon became quite clear that i needed money

people were all to keen on having me do work, and then it happened, a friend of mine introduced me to two people, they needed someone that knew a lot of people, and i knew almost everyone at that point, so i became a drug dealer, well, more of a delivery boy, i would get stuff from point A to point B discreetly, i mean who suspects a 15 year old boy on a bike to be carrying an entire backpack full of drugs.

a lot of shit happened in this time, but to sum it up, i got to know my 2 "employers" and actually became friend with them, this would get me better jobs, and eventually i would not even have to do any as they just paid for my share when we where out an about anyway, basically they adopted me,

2016-2018: okay, so here it gets a little muddled, mostly because i wasn't in a state to remember things, i want to mention that i still went to school almost daily, mostly showing up drunk or high, but i never actually skipped school in a meaningful way, even though i was late nearly every day

i went to the hospital because i had drank myself into a coma, no surprise there it was bound to happen, but it became a bit more problematic i was diagnosed with a rare type of blood disorder, requiring me to take medication, medication that if taken with alcohol have some serious side effects, not taking the meds would put my organs under pressure risking internal bleeding, so i had a choice stop drinking or not take the meds risking my life in the process

so i stopped drinking as much as i was capable of, now by this time i had already started smoking, both tobacco and weed, and doing drugs like lsd and schrooms, (never did hard drugs, i saw pretty early on what happens when you do so i stayed clear of them), so even though i (mostly) stopped drinking, i was still having the same life

and so it came, a big chance, a big job, we would smuggle a large amount of cocaine over the German border, this was not the first time we did such a job, but this was the first time it was Germany, a country who's border is a bit less open, yet we thought nothing of it, it wasn't the first time and no way we could get caught that easily

but big surprise we got caught, and i was fucked, there was no escape from this, i was arrested before sure, but i was a minor so i was let go, but this was no underage drinking, or plain vandalism, so i did the only thing i could even think of getting out of this

a lot of the jobs we did, and especially i did, where ordered from the port mafia, i never did anything mayor, but i knew that they always needed more people, so i asked them for help, and fucking got it, they would get me out of the shit, and i would be in debt, it did help that i wasn't short on money during this time doing all of this, but it wasn't enough

so i worked for them, for 2 years, i did whatever they told me to pay off my debt, i don't like going into detail what i did, but basically i would clean up, do odd jobs, and transport stuff, again no one really suspects a 15 year old on a bike with a backpack, clean up was the worst, you either had to scrub blood from walls, floors and clothes, or you had to get rid of things, burn them, bury them, just get rid of em, seen my fair share of shit working for those fuckers, but no complaining while you're the one that owes them money

anyway, during this time my sister got married, my old house was rebuilt and my family moved back, later my sister had her first child

2019: i got arrested for the last time on drug possession and was let go after disclosing the names of several people i had worked with in the past, all of which were bastard i would deck in the face if i were to ever see them gain

after that cut as many connections with that part of the law as i could, and tried to get my life in order, this was a lot of trouble, and i will not talk about it, because it costed me things which might not have been worth it

finished high school, i don't know how either

decided to spend more time with certain friends

2020-2021: started college in 2020, and dropped out in 2021

sister had her second child

started this blog as a form of therapy

started redecorating the garden, buying a trampoline and a swimming pool

started a relationship with one very much in the closet himbo

changed medication and (mostly) stopped smoking,

things that either don't fit a specific time or are more anecdotal:

my family went on vacation almost every year from 2001 to 20012, i've been to many countries, all of them were nice but nothing really happened just family time

the relationship between me and my parents has gotten better since i was a child, and even though they didn't teach me a lot of things i might have liked them to, i know now that this wasn't done because they didn't care but because they wanted me to have the freedom they never had

my family has owned many pets throughout the years such as: horses, dogs, cats, chickens, pheasants, parakeets, peacocks, and cranes

my family's internal relationships have been weird throughout the years, my aunt and uncle weren't officially married until 2019, all 4 of my grandparents are alive, yet for a time a i had a 5th one, this is do to my father, uncle, and aunt being adopted because of the inheritance of the man my grandmother was having an affair with, this is the reason i have 2 last names, yet my grandmother and grandfather are still together now, this affair was very much open as well

my blood disorder is very complicated, it makes it so my blood is either to viscous or too liquid, when too viscous my heart needs to pump harder, this can sometime cause my blood pressure to be high enough to rupture small veins, and when too liquid it can force my heart to beat unnaturally fast yet still incapable of putting my blood under enough pressure, causing a lack of oxygen, my medication can only dampen this and not stop this completely, my given lifespan if nothing changes should be 45-50

i went to therapy between 2015 and 2019, yes, while i was working for the mob and being an alcoholic i went to therapy, i've had 3 different psychologists and they have helped me process a lot of things

both my original house and the shoe store are believed to be haunted, my family are spiritualists so this is not out of the norm

in 2017 i had a 3 month relationship with a British woman who cheated on me with a friend of mine, she was not aware that she was my girlfriend at the time and was the first one to tell me

all of the criminal information in this post is known by the police of my country

you can ask questions if you want

[thingsihavelearnedadvice]

Things I have learned 2021

The Self

Figure yourself out

DNA

Genetics

Culture

Where you were raised

Political compass

Economic (left-right)

Social (Authoritarian-Libertarian)

Big 5 Personality Traits

Openness

Inventive/curious vs consistent/cautious

Conscientiousness

Efficient/organized vs extravagant/careless

Extraversion

Outgoing/energetic vs solitary/reserved

Agreeableness

Friendly/compassionate vs critical/rational

Neuroticism

Sensitive/nervous vs resilient/confident

Myers Briggs

Extroverted vs Introverted

Sensory vs Intuitive

Sensory:

Realistic, facts, and details

Apply common sense and past experiences for problem solving

Intuitive

Possibilities and big picture

Easily sees patterns, values innovation, seeks creative solution to problems

Thinkers vs feelers

Thinkers

Decisions using logical analysis

Feelers

Sensitive and cooperative. Decides based on their own personal values and how others will be affected by their actions

Judgers vs perceivers

Judgers

Organized, prepared, sticking to plans, comfortable following most rules

Perceivers

Prefer to keep options open.

Like to to be able to act spontaneously

Morality test

Care/harm

Fairness/cheating

Loyalty/betrayal

Authority/subversion

Sanctity/degradation

Liberty/oppression

Values

Pick from a list

Love language

Words of affirmation

Physical touch

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Attachment style

Secure

Trust easily, emotional attuned, can communicate upsets directly, cooperative and flexible behavior in relationships

Anxious

Sensitive nervous system

Struggles communicating directly

Tends to act out when triggered

Avoidant: Dismissive

Downplays importance of relationships

Extremely self reliant

Can become more vulnerable in a big crisis

Avoidant: Fearful

More dependent on relationships than dismissive

Strongly fears rejection

Has low self esteem

Has high anxiety in relationships

Happiness and its components

Momentary mood

How you feel right now

Life satisfaction

Your evaluation of your life

Assessment of specific life domains

Work, relationships, finances, health, etc

People

Be aware of narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths

All of these types of people are devoid of empathy

Narcissistic: 1% of general population

Sociopaths: 4% of general population

Psychopaths: 1% of general population

The dark Triad

Narcissism: grandiosity, pride, and lack of empathy

Machiavellianism: manipulation and exploitation of others

Psychopathy: antisocial behavior, impulsivity, callous, selfish, and remorselessness

Borderline personality disorder

Fear of abandonment

Unstable relationships

Unclear self image

Impulsive, self destructive behaviors

Self harm

Extreme emotional swings

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Explosive anger

Feeling out of touch with reality

Relationships

Marriage is sacred

Red Flags

Difficulty being yourself

Not for you

No trust

Low communication

If they cheated once, they are 350% more likely to cheat again.

In order to be in a relationship you need to be free of major flaws.

Controlling, abandonment anxiety, physical abuse, addiction, etc

Choosing a Partner

Must be at least compatible in the Big 5 Personality Traits (within 50%)

Must be at least compatible in the Myers Briggs personality traits test (within 50%)

Empathy

Trust

Physical attraction

Emotional depth

Intellectual compatibility

Shared activities

Productive conflict

fight, flight, or freeze vs solving problems and letting go. Attacking the argument, not the person. While angry love is still clear. It gets better with time.

Affection

Similar financial values

Commitment

Spending time together/effort in relationship

Positive to negative ratio should be between 5:1 - 11:1

Any more and any less is not good because it's too negative or the other person doesn’t contend with you and doesn't help you grow.

Clear guidelines for a relationship

It is almost impossible for relationships to work without the proper social guidelines

Attraction

Similarity

First and foremost we select individuals who share characteristics with us.

Self disclosure

We connect deeply with those we can share our thoughts without reprisal, acceptance, and low risk. Trust.

Proximity

How close they are to us matters in the frequency we come into contact with them.

Be with an XNFJ

Raising Children

Preventing Spoiledness:

Wait one year to buy them ANYTHING

At 16 years old stop buying them nonessentials

Essentials: clothes, food, school supplies, hobby supplies

Reward failures when they try

Critical Periods and Teratogens

Neural development is the first to form, even before heart and limbs.

1-2 weeks the child is likely to be lost if abnormalities occur.

3-8 weeks abnormalities will be major.

9-38 weeks abnormalities will be minor.

Teratogens: environmental factors that could lead to birth defects.

Alcohol

It affects the development of the nervous system. It can get through the blood barrier of the placenta. The alcohol cannot be metabolized by the fetus, thus it stays longer.

It affects neuron migration the most. This condition can cause cortical dysplasia, this happens when neurons fail to migrate.

Cortical dysplasia: makes it so the affected area of the brain is lacking the neural connections to function properly. This causes SEIZURES.

Tobacco

Prescription and over the counter medications

Illicit drugs

Pollutants

Toxoplasmosis

STDs

HIV

German measles

Mothers over 35

Teenage pregnancy

Gestational diabetes

High blood pressure

Rh disease (type of anemia)

Weight gain

Stress

Depression

Paternal impact

Advice/Tips

To be a man means to have self control

Don’t allow anger, sadness, or even happiness to take hold of you and allow you to get carried away

Don’t allow sexual urges to have dominion over you, but have dominion over it.

There usually is no right or wrong, just differences

So find those who are like you.

Trade pleasure & materialism for responsibility

Dopamine: pleasure seeking chemical in the brain

Serotonin: content feeling chemical in the brain

Dopamine and serotonin are inversely correlated. Chase responsibility and self improvement in every sense.

Frontal cortex vs limbic system

Frontal cortex is decision making, self control, and intelligence

Limbic system is more primitive, it wants and craves pleasure like food, sleep, and sex

Listen to the frontal cortex!

Control your urges, or become a slave to them.

Strive to be your best

Intellectually

Emotionally

In intrapersonal relationships

Body

Spirit

If you are upset and overwhelmed leave the situation/environment

Empathy is beautiful but you need enough logic to leave a person that is abusing your empathy.

Don’t do drugs or alcohol.

Earlier the initiation of drugs and alcohol the higher the chance for addiction.

Drugs and alcohol permanently affect neural development which occurs from birth to 30 years old.

There are large changes from gray to white matter during the developing years.

This change allows for:

Enhanced information processing, which is required for complex cognitive abilities

This development generally begins from the posterior regions to anterior regions of the brain. Limbic vs prefrontal cortex.

Increases frequency if risky behaviors

Contributes to adult health problems like:

Heart disease

High blood pressure

Sleep disorders

You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

There is nothing more important than relationships, so choose wisely!

Happiness: Perma

Positive emotion

What we feel (happiness, warm, etc)

Engagement

Being absorbed by stimulating activities

Relationships

That are positive, nurturing, and rewarding

Meaning

Serving a purpose larger than oneself

Accomplishment

Pursuit of achievement and mastery

Happiness strategies

Focus on problem solving, not just venting

Take time to make quality relationships with good people

Practice gratitude

Random acts of kindness

Attend to others mindfully and practice compassion and empathy

Be kind to yourself and not too perfectionistic

Set goals that provide structure and purpose

Build motivation from within and not from the environment

Seek healthy challenges, to push you past your boundaries

Focus on what you have instead of what you desire (anti-materialism)

Avoid temptation to complain and instead be optimistic

Curing depression

give someone structure. Have them create all the pillars necessary to build a foundation for a happy life. (Job, gf, friends, etc)

Responsibility vs no responsibility

Responsibility causes suffering but gives meaning to life

No responsibility causes no suffering but gives no meaning to life which then causes suffering

The point is to live life in a way that it is worth suffering

Those with a moral structure are happier.

Those with less options are happier. When you have too many options you cannot decide. When life is too good it becomes unclear on what to do with your life.

Sleep schedule, regular circadian rhythm

Don’t get overwhelmed by the scale of things. Just focus on finding your community.

Save more than you spend

If you have no problems, you will create your own suffering

Do not give your children everything. According to their age, support them less and less and only support them emotionally.

Practice admitting you are wrong. Don’t let anybody make you feel bad for it

Health

Diet

Avoid: sugars, gluten, processed meats, fast food, too many carbohydrates, and antibiotics

It causes inflammation in the body, fat, and lowers good hormones.

Exercise

Cardio and weight lifting

Rest

3 days of rest a week

7 hours of sleep. At the same time everyday.

Hygiene

Showering

Trimming

Soap

Deodorant

Cologne

Skin care

When things are overwhelming, do what you are willing to do no matter how small.

Does the environment affect you, or do you affect the environment?

You can validate someone’s feelings and not justify someone’s feelings.

Focus on the things you can control.

You cannot control people

Find those who are like minded

Ignore those who are not.

So you don’t get upset or emotionally drained because you can’t change people to think or believe the things you do.

You have to have purpose. You have to have something you believe in. You have to follow your values and morals. You have to have goals.

If not you will be lost, get hurt, hurt others, be depressed, and your life will have no meaning.

Create a lineage of XNFJ

Don’t trust anybody without them first earning it

Define social constructs/biology

Gender: social characteristics of sex

Sex: biological determinant for female and male

Practical Facts

Happiness is dependent on

Genetics 50%

Circumstance 10%

Sex, ethnicity, income, education

Intentional activity 40%

Behavioral choices and thinking patterns

Positive emotion makes people impulsive.

The impulsivity can ruin your life

Impulsivity does not affect IQ.

Happiness should be balanced because it should reflect the state of the world.

The world is not puppies and rainbows, if we are only happy then we will be ill equipped for the world.

Compiled data on human development and genetics

1. Haplogroup R1b is the biggest determinant for human development

Brain Develops from birth to 30s.

Limbic system: reward center of the brain. Regulates emotions.

Prefrontal cortex: executive functioning and decision making

You cannot create your own morality. You can co create and discover your morality.

If you could then you wouldn’t ever be bothered by your conscience.

Feeling guilt, hurt, sad, etc are signs that we are most likely not doing the right thing morally.

[michellelewis7162]

Mushroom Developing

Mushroom Developing

 There is a very big variation between the farming or even expanding of environment-friendly vegetations and mushroom expanding. While the green plants are actually furnished with chlorophyll for getting the nutrients they need for development, mushrooms carry out not have chlorophyll which has made it powerful for all of them to get their meals via reliance on other vegetation components. The main body of the mushroom is made up of the mycelium which is really the little strings which grow on the plant product (the substratum) whereby they acquire their required nutrients. Mushrooms are understood to grow on diverse vegetation products. Magic Mushrooms Canada

 It is actually prudent that a person that is planning on entering into the growing of mushroom should recognize rather about the fungi life process. Illustrated listed below are the things that will assist one aiming to enter mushroom increasing to know the many things he or she requires to be productive in the project of mushroom growing Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 As soon as one acquires a common knowledge worrying the various fungis life cycles, the person is going to after that move on to comprehending the criteria required for the growth and well being of any one of the varieties of mushrooms the person is desiring to grow. Outdoors mushroom expanding in the form of a yard is actually one that requires really little bit of initiative once the person has actually provided the necessary shot to the logs or every other materials with mushroom give rise to. The only work left behind for the person to carry out is monitoring the humidity and also managing the mushroom give rise to in regards to fruiting. As quickly as the mushrooms show up sensibly, they are at that point picked and sold.

 There is actually likewise the in the house mushroom increasing which often tends to fill up any kind of area left behind due to the outdoors mushroom growing. Every function that relates to growing mushroom is actually executed within. It in fact gives really good end results however this is simply reliant upon the individual's know-how, endless oversight and also proper management of the whether health conditions.

 In mushroom developing, the adhering to steps are taken as well as it can last for approximately fifteen full weeks or even lower depending exclusively on the particular specie of mushroom being developed.

 One has to pick the channel by means of which the mushrooms will definitely be actually expanded, disinfecting the picked tool of farming, injecting the chosen medium along with mushroom generate, keeping the best feasible temperature, humidity and various other setting that will definitely not inhibit the development of the mycelium as well as assistance to a wonderful degree in the mushroom generate creating excellent fruits, tweezing or even collecting of the mushrooms, packaging as well as sales of the accumulated mushrooms, clean up of the farming establishment and resumption of yet another period of mushroom farming Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 Exactly How to Grow Mushrooms From Mushroom Growing Kits

 Mushroom sets have in fact had a fair quantity of flak in latest times along with many critics claiming that they provide very inadequate worth for money when reviewing the yields of the mushroom sets along with the genuine cost of the mushrooms in the shops. I locate this a really unjust evaluation as well as experience that it is wrong to merely review the 2 with the quantity of mushrooms that they generate.

 You may buy mushroom expanding kits for only a few various varieties of mushroom - you can receive button mushroom increase sets and you can obtain shellfish mushroom expand packages. These two are actually one of the most common and could be purchased at most garden facilities as well as usually on backyard center internet sites. You can easily also develop various other varieties coming from even more professional web sites, permitting you to increase your very own mushrooms like Shiitake, Portobello as well as more. These kits usually cost around ₤ 5 to ₤ 10 as well as are going to perhaps deliver you along with around ₤ 5 really worth of mushrooms (if increased in the most ideal possible setting, and also depending on the range as some mushrooms cost additional after that others in the outlets) Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 I do not understand why folks groan when it sets you back more to get a mushroom expanding package then it does to acquire the mushrooms on their own. The majority of the food store mushrooms are actually developed enormously wholesale and are normally expanded in other countries and also imported all over, where it is a lot less expensive for them to grow them. Theres the fact that in a kit you receive a carton as well as acquire the substrate (compost or straw) as well as a small bag of spawn. When you acquire mushrooms coming from a shop you aren't left behind over with superb compost for your yard (mushroom garden compost is just one of one of the most nutritious and also expensive kinds of garden compost as the mushrooms break as well as reprocess lots of nutrients existing in the substratum). And afterwards there is actually the truth that you are developing mushrooms your own self - definitely the excitement and also fun factor are worth spending for as well.

 In my point of view mushroom growing packages are actually an outstanding technique of increasing your very own mushrooms and also even when occasionally they don't give impressive value for loan when matched up to the shop price you will discover a lot coming from performing it your own self as well as is going to most likely take excellent satisfaction in developing and after that consuming your own mushrooms. Maybe even the moment you've found out a little even more regarding growing mushrooms you can eliminate the intermediary and also discover your own substrate (straw, newspaper, manure) and buy or produce your personal mushroom generate. This is actually where you can receive real worth for money also, growing hundreds of extra pounds worth of mushroom coming from actually a couple of extra pounds expenditure Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 The Magical Mushroom

 Mycology, the research of mushrooms, is taking brand-new fans to the 'fungus one of our company." Already being used for a variety of medical explanations all over the world, the humble toadstool might be slung in to the limelight soon as an effective, substitute treatment for some persistent inequalities.

 Mushrooms are actually valued through vegetarians due to their higher nutritional value.They manage to make vitamin D when uncovered to direct sunlight. Mushrooms have B vitamins, vitamin C, blood potassium, phosphorus, zinc, salt, as well as calcium.

 Medical mushrooms possess lots of substances as well as nutrients that are actually health-strengthening. Eastern medicine, specifically standard Chinese process, has used mushrooms for centuries. In the U.S., studies were actually carried out in the very early '60s for feasible techniques to modulate the immune system and to prevent cancerous tumor growth with essences Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 Mushroom seeking is actually preferred, but it is certainly not secure. Some edible mushrooms are actually just about similar to poison ones. It takes a specialist to tell the difference. Additionally, mushrooms behave like a sponge and effortlessly take in toxic substances coming from dirt as well as sky. However, mushrooms are actually conveniently thought about a 'organic food.'

 Without the method of photosynthesis, some mushrooms acquire nutrients by malfunctioning raw material or by feeding from much higher vegetations. Yet another market attacks living vegetations to eat all of them. Poisonous and eatable wide arrays are located near origins of oak, yearn and fir trees.

 Mushrooms were actually made use of ritually by the locals of Mesoamerica for countless years. They were actually extensively eaten in spiritual events by cultures throughout the Americas. Cavern paintings in Spain represent ritualized intake dating back as for 9000 years. Psilocybin usage was actually decreased until Western psychiatry rediscovered it after World War II.

 The questionable place of research is the use of psilocybin, a naturally happening chemical in particular mushrooms. Psilocybin has been actually shown to become successful in addressing dependency to alcohol and cigarettes.

 New research studies present the psychedelic medicine could alleviate stress as well as depression in some cancer cells individuals. State of mind raising effects that lasted a minimum of several weeks after eating the fungi were stated in some studies.

 While fungus has actually fascinated individuals for centuries, it may finally be entering a brand new time where its recuperation electrical powers and unknown premiums are being actually uncovered. The mushroom could well store the secret to some long ago locked illness and also puzzles.

 Perform you desire to expand good quality shiitake mushrooms for your small business? You can easily possess nutritious enhancement to your assortment if you fruit product your logs. These exquisite, fleshy fungis may include a scrumptious touch to your dishes. The taste you will obtain will definitely surpass any other recipe that makes use of other sort of mushrooms. You can easily also keep these new shiitakes in the refrigerator for two to three weeks. Regardless of whether they dry up, they will certainly reclaim their original texture if you saturate all of them in water. The process of blanching and afterwards cold will certainly help in always keeping the shiitakes in usable condition for many months.

 Beginning your company along with these suggestions

 You might be actually pondering over the idea of right now starting your growing. If you have a rewarding creation, you may also consider starting your own organisation on a small scale. Acquire mushroom logs for sale from distinguished suppliers and also obtain a clean supply of mushrooms. Find out a few of the general tips so that you can find yourself along with a nourishing yield Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 1. Frequent routine maintenance

 You must buy mushroom logs up for sale from the marketplace as well as take adequate steps to sustain all of them on a regular basis. These chunks can be kept well-balanced through saturating them after a space of two full weeks. For this purpose, you must make use of only non-chlorinated water. The sources might be filteringed system, bottled or rainwater.

 2. Living living thing

 You should recognize the truth that the log you are dealing is a living body. Sky, water, and also sun light are actually the elements essential for the growth of mycelium. You can easily consistently oblige fruit your log after a gap of two months. This purpose may be obtained through soaking those blocks in non- chlorinated water for a whole day. These will definitely lead the portions to feel that the autumn or even the spring time is actually merely close.

 3. Forms of woods

 The blocks which work absolute best are actually oaks, ironwood, difficult maple as well as wonderful gum. You may achieve faster end results by utilizing lighter hard woods. Nonetheless, they are not that heavy duty contrasted to denser styles. The visibility of fungicidal resins creates softwoods unsuitable for mushroom growing. You can easily consistently rely on a reliable vendor for offering you along with the correct selection of logs.

 4. Industrial operators

 The office drivers are specialists that generate logs by producing them go through different temperature level setups as well as submersing all of them in amazing water at proper intervals. The greatest quality portions are actually offered to the ranches as well as local organisations.

 5. Various elements possessing an effect

 You can enjoy cultivating new mushrooms for 4 years or two if you take enough care of your logs. The elements that possess an influence on the fruiting of the logs are actually the amount of humidity, volume of sun light and also proper temperature level. You should regularly remember that a well-rested log generates the absolute most effective end results.

 Increasing Button Mushrooms Using a Mushroom Growing Kit

 The button mushroom, or even Agaricus Bisporus, is one of the best cultivated mushrooms on earth. In the wild this mushroom appears in areas and has a darker, brownish cap along with darker gills as well. They are actually recognized in bush as field mushrooms yet they are actually usually labelled as the switch mushroom or even the Portobello mushroom, although the Portobello varieties are often larger in dimension.

 Mushroom developing sets have ended up being significantly preferred in recent years as the general public opinion as well as perceptions towards fungis seems to have unwinded a little - no longer are individuals scared of mushrooms and rather are actually readied to make an effort and also try at expanding their personal in the house Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 Although mushroom grow packages are actually confined in fungi species currently (I've just seen switch, Shiitake and Oyster grow sets), the switch mushroom is actually without a doubt one of the most extensively on call develop package. A lot of gardening stores market mushroom growing sets, and also these shops seem to be to concentrate on the most popular, thought about as being "more secure" mushrooms - the Button mushroom.

 The Button mushroom increase packages are actually really straightforward to use, also a little one can efficiently grow their personal plant of mushrooms in only a couple of full weeks! You just require to clear the substrate right into a compartment and leave behind in a trendy damp location till the mycelium expands fully by means of the block (transforming it white colored) and after that cover it with the studying garden compost provided. Relocate in to a cooler place and also spray with water on a regular basis to always keep damp. Little white circular blobs will definitely seem which will definitely turn into mushrooms after simply a number of times.

 The Secrets to Mushroom Growing

 Definitely if you are actually a mushroom fanatic, you would like to know just how to develop mushrooms. Normally, you would wonder about mushrooms.That is actually perfectly regular. If experienced mushroom eaters will wish to grow their own mushrooms, it will to no surprise. Mushrooms are actually great resources of protein.

 As opposed to the common knowledge that mushroom expanding will include a massive amount of skill-sets along with a focused type of technique in growing these little bit of jewels, mushrooms are the no-frills kind. AS long as their food items is actually given plus all the necessary needs are actually gotten to, all the raiser must do is actually to stand by until it is actually time for harvest. Real, when you reside in the country side, you can expand as many as you can. Just because you reside in the urban area carries out certainly not suggest you might certainly not have the ability to grow your own mushroom backyard. Long as you have the room, your channel and also some spores, you can easily create mushrooms by batches. Similar to the countryside, you primarily allowed all of them be, Making sure that they have enough food to eat and also humidity and the temp is actually just enough, your mushrooms will certainly come like little bit of white colored globs on your tool right just before your eyes!

 Did you recognize that the tip to developing mushrooms is certainly not a great top secret? Perhaps when you ask a mushroom raiser what the tip to a wonderful tasting mushroom is, all he answers is a smile on his skin. Probably you might conclude that it must be a long-kept secret that just a handful must know.A handful, alright. Yet the technique is actually not really that fantastic Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

 Are you curious what that is actually? All you need to possess is actually to give rise to or even possess spores when you really want to develop great mushrooms. You don't need to take care of it either. Don't consider this as some amazing vegetation that has some exclusive demands. Ever before become aware of the words "Popping up like mushrooms along the railroad"? Effectively, that is actually basically it. Mushrooms essentially merely turn up.

 In addition to spores as well as the likes, what perform mushrooms require?

 For sure, mushrooms carry out certainly not need to have light therefore much better maintain them somewhere where light can certainly not trickle through like in a closed package. An additional necessary element to note is actually the temperature. You need to have a dependable one. Attempt certainly not to hit 50-600F at this point.Be certain that you maintain the humidity level constant. You do not would like to have perished -appearing mushrooms.

 These are the necessities, or even should our experts state, the technique to mushroom expanding. As you could have discovered by now that the secret performs certainly not feature some unusual compound or even anything; instead, the trick concerns possessing the ideal mix of all the mentioned variables. The moment you receive the correct formula for a particular mushroom varieties, your endeavor will definitely expand significantly.

 Outdoors mushroom expanding in the type of a yard is actually one that requires very little bit of initiative once the person has provided the proper vaccination to the records or even any type of various other products along with mushroom give rise to. You may buy mushroom developing sets for only a few different species of mushroom - you can obtain switch mushroom grow sets and also you can acquire oyster mushroom expand packages. When you purchase mushrooms coming from a store you aren't left behind over with great garden compost for your landscape (mushroom garden compost is actually one of the most nourishing and pricey types of compost as the mushrooms damage down as well as reprocess many nutrients found in the substratum). In my point of view mushroom expanding sets are an excellent way of developing your very own mushrooms and also even if at times they don't provide outstanding value for cash when contrasted to the shop price you are going to find out therefore much from performing it your own self and also is going to probably take terrific pleasure in developing as well as then consuming your own mushrooms. They are actually understood in the crazy as area mushrooms but they are commonly classified as the button mushroom or the Portobello mushroom, although the Portobello varieties are generally larger in dimension.

[ladystylestores]

‘I Can’t Turn My Brain Off’: PTSD and Burnout Threaten Medical Workers

The coronavirus patient, a 75-year-old man, was dying. No family member was allowed in the room with him, only a young nurse.

In full protective gear, she dimmed the lights and put on quiet music. She freshened his pillows, dabbed his lips with moistened swabs, held his hand, spoke softly to him. He wasn’t even her patient, but everyone else was slammed.

Finally, she held an iPad close to him, so he could see the face and hear the voice of a grief-stricken relative Skyping from the hospital corridor.

After the man died, the nurse found a secluded hallway, and wept.

A few days later, she shared her anguish in a private Facebook message to Dr. Heather Farley, who directs a comprehensive staff-support program at Christiana Hospital in Newark, Del. “I’m not the kind of nurse that can act like I’m fine and that something sad didn’t just happen,” she wrote.

Medical workers like the young nurse have been celebrated as heroes for their commitment to treating desperately ill coronavirus patients. But the heroes are hurting, badly. Even as applause to honor them swells nightly from city windows, and cookies and thank-you notes arrive at hospitals, the doctors, nurses and emergency responders on the front lines of a pandemic they cannot control are battling a crushing sense of inadequacy and anxiety.

Every day they become more susceptible to post-traumatic stress, mental health experts say. And their psychological struggles could impede their ability to keep working with the intensity and focus their jobs require.

Although the causes for the suicides last month of Dr. Lorna M. Breen, the medical director of the emergency department at NewYork-Presbyterian Allen Hospital, and John Mondello, a rookie New York emergency medical technician, are unknown, the tragedies served as a devastating wake-up call about the mental health of medical workers. Even before the coronavirus pandemic, their professions were pockmarked with burnout and even suicide.

On Wednesday, the World Health Organization issued a report about the pandemic’s impact on mental health, highlighting health care workers as vulnerable. Recent studies of medical workers in China, Canada and Italy who treated Covid-19 patients found soaring rates of anxiety, depression and insomnia.

To address the ballooning problem, therapists who specialize in treating trauma are offering free sessions to medical workers and emergency responders nationwide. New York City has joined with the Defense Department to train 1,000 counselors to address the combat-like stress. Rutgers Health/RWJ Barnabas Health, a New Jersey system, just adopted a “Check You, Check Two” initiative, urging staff to attend to their own needs and touch base with two colleagues daily.

“Physicians are often very self-reliant and may not easily ask for help. In this time of crisis, with high workload and many uncertainties, this trait can add to the load that they carry internally,” said Dr. Chantal Brazeau, a psychiatrist at the Rutgers New Jersey Medical School.

Even when new Covid-19 cases and deaths begin to ebb, as they have in some places, mental health experts say the psychological pain of medical workers is likely to continue and even worsen.

“As the pandemic intensity seems to fade, so does the adrenaline. What’s left are the emotions of dealing with the trauma and stress of the many patients we cared for,” said Dr. Mark Rosenberg, the chairman of the emergency department at St. Joseph’s Health in Paterson, N.J. “There is a wave of depression, letdown, true PTSD and a feeling of not caring anymore that is coming.”

____

Screw all of you now I see exactly why the only thing left to do is suicide. — a Facebook post by a St. Louis paramedic in April

After Kurt Becker, a paramedic firefighter in St. Louis County saw that post, which included a profanity-laced screed of frustration and despair over the job, he sent a copy to the man’s therapist with a note saying, “You need to check this out.”

“I’m reading this, and I’m ticking off each comment with, ‘stress marker,’ ‘stress marker,’ ‘stress marker,’ ” said Mr. Becker, who manages a 300-person union district. (The writer is in treatment and gave permission for the post to be quoted.)

The paramedics are part of a “warrior culture,” Mr. Becker said, which sees itself as a tough, invulnerable caste. Asking for help, admitting fear, is not part of their self-image.

Mr. Becker, 48, is himself the grandson of a bomber pilot and son of a Vietnam veteran. But his local has been hit by a dozen suicides since 2004, and he has become an advocate for the mental health of its members. To maintain his equilibrium, he works out and sees a therapist.

“The virus scares the hell out of our guys,” he said. “And now, when they go home to decompress, instead, they and their spouses are home schooling. The spouse has lost a job, and is at wit’s end. The kids are screaming. Let me tell you: The tension level in the crews is through the roof.”

Many besieged health care workers are exhibiting what Alynn Schmitt McManus, a St. Louis-based clinical social worker, calls “betrayal trauma.”

“They feel overwhelmed and abandoned” by fire chiefs who, she said, rarely acknowledge the newly relentless demands of the job.

Many paramedics, she added, are “aggressive and depressed. They are so committed to the work, they are such good human beings, but they feel so compromised now.”

Brendan, who asked for his last name to be withheld to protect his privacy, is a 24-year-old paramedic firefighter who works 48-hour shifts on the tough north side of St. Louis. His unit has been so busy running calls that he goes for long stretches without showering, eating or sleeping. He is terrified he might infect his fiancée and their daughter.

“We got a letter from our chief saying that there’s a national shortage of gloves, gowns, masks and goggles because the public is taking them,” he said. “Then we walk into Walmart and see that 90 percent of the people have better masks than we do.”

With no end in sight to the crisis, Brendan sought out a therapist.

“We are a lot quicker to be angry with each other,” he said. “Any little thing sends us over the edge. But among the older guys in their late 30s and 40s, it’s not OK to talk about things. So all anyone talks about is alcohol.”

____

“They were coming in very sick and deteriorating so fast. I was carrying a lot inside me, and I was very sad when I came home. I was feeling like I wasn’t doing a good job. My mother-in-law is a nurse, and she saw I needed help so she connected me with a therapist.” — Kristina, a nurse at Long Island Jewish Medical Center in Queens

Therapists around the country, many affiliated with the Trauma Recovery Network, which includes a large New York team, have been lining up to offer free treatment to medical workers. But the number of requests for help has been modest.

“People are nervous that if they pause to get treatment, they’ll crash, ”said Karen Alter-Reid, a psychologist and the founder of the Fairfield County Trauma Response Team in Connecticut, who has treated disaster-relief workers at school shootings and hurricanes.

The reasons to offer front-line workers specialized trauma therapy now are both to forestall destructive symptoms from settling in long-term, and to patch up depleted people so they can keep doing their jobs with the intensity demanded of them.

Since mid-March, Dr. Alter-Reid’s group has been treating dozens of emergency medical technicians, doctors and nurses. What distinguishes this pandemic as a traumatic experience, she said, is that no one knows when it will end, which protracts anxiety.

Medical teams, she noted, keenly miss the familial, visceral contact. They are used to hugs, backslaps, and sharing beers after a rough shift. Now, safety strictures have shut all that down.

Through Zoom group therapy, the crews have been regaining some semblance of solidarity as they unburden with each other, unmasked, through a computer screen, hearing everyone talk about similar struggles: Living away from families, to keep them safe. The smell of disinfectant in their clothes and hair. The clumsy haz-mat gear.

As they tap, which can sound like group drumming, she asks them to recall a challenging case when they each prevailed, and to share it.

Through these sessions, she tries to help them subdue memories of fear, failure and death so they can summon their innate resilience: Remember what you can do.

____

I have nightmares that I won’t have my P.P.E. I worry about my patients, my co-workers, my family, myself. I can’t turn my brain off. — Christina Burke, an I.C.U. nurse at Christiana Hospital, Newark, Del.

A nagging detail sticks in Christina Burke’s mind like a burr. Not only is hers the last face that patients see before they die, but because of her mandatory mask, all they glimpse are her eyes.

Her identity as a compassionate nurse feels diminished. She longs to lift up her mask and reveal her full self to patients.

At 24, Ms. Burke has already worked in an intensive care unit for three years. She has loved the connections she made with patients and their families, but those experiences are now largely gone.

“I can’t imagine one of my relatives on their last breath with a stranger,” said Ms. Burke, who is close to her own family but hasn’t been able to visit them for two months.

One recent day, overcome with sleeplessness and despondency, she contacted Bridget Ryan, a member of the hospital’s peer support program. In Ms. Ryan’s office, she tearfully unloaded.

A March study in JAMA Psychiatry looked at the psychological impact of the epidemic on health care workers in 34 Chinese hospitals, reporting that nurses, especially women, carried the heaviest burdens. They had elevated rates of anxiety, depression and insomnia.

The prevalence of burnout and suicide among medical professionals has been widely studied. As the pandemic invaded the West Coast earlier this year, Stanford psychologists gathered focus groups in their medical system to explore how to shore up mental health.

Researchers flagged workers’ limited capacity to manage Covid-19; their fears of contaminating family members; the moral code-bending decisions about when to use limited, life-saving resources. But much distress could be headed off if hospital leadership created a proactive, supportive culture that included ways for workers to express concerns and feel heard, the researchers wrote in JAMA.

ChristianaCare, a four-state health system, began assembling such a protocol five years ago. The program provides group support and daily inspirational texts. Twice a week, doctors and staff meet senior leaders. It set up designated “oasis” rooms, outfitted with low lights, massage chairs and meditation materials, where stressed workers take a breather.

“We’re trying to provide them with psychological first aid,” said Dr. Farley, an emergency medicine physician who directs ChristianaCare’s Center for WorkLife Wellbeing.

Peer counselors are quickly available. “No one else understands what we’re going through,” Ms. Burke, the I.C.U. nurse, said. “It doesn’t sound like much, but that program has changed the world for us.”

At the end of her meeting with Ms. Ryan, the two women, both in surgical masks, shared a social-distance-defying hug. Ms. Burke said she emerged refreshed. For the first time in two months, she slept through the night.

To address safety fears, ChristianaCare offers disposable scrubs, which workers tear off at the end of a shift. It also has a gratitude program, in which former patients return to thank their healers. At a time when so many Covid-19 patients are dying, such exchanges, said Dr. Farley, reconnect demoralized staff to “why we do what we do.”

Dr. Farley and her team check on hospital crews, pushing carts loaded with hand lotion, anti-fog lens cleaner, protein bars, chocolate and solace.

Every time, Dr. Farley said, “There is someone crying with me, and it’s 3 a.m. They’re exhausted. They need this.”

____

I see all these people coming in to the hospital now who are really sick, and I’m wondering, could this be me one day? There are a lot of unknowns. And the anxiety is amplified, knowing what happened in my household. — Dr. Andrew Cohen, an emergency medicine physician at St. Joseph’s University Medical Center, Paterson, N.J.

When Dr. Andrew Cohen, 45, is working his shift at the hospital’s emergency department, he is fine. He has the thick emotional skin characteristic of his high-octane profession. He dons his gear, turns his adrenaline up to a quiet, steady hum and focuses on saving lives.

But hours before the shift starts, he becomes foggy, anxious, hesitant. And as soon as it ends, he performs a cleansing ritual that even he labels “over the top.” That is because he has discovered, in a brutal manner, that he cannot leave the job behind.

For nearly a decade, Dr. Cohen and his wife shared their home with her parents, a practicing pulmonologist and a retired nurse, who often babysat for the Cohens’ children, now 8 and 11. But in March, both in-laws became ill with Covid-19 and were admitted to the hospital within a day of each other.

Dr. Cohen’s mother-in-law, Sharon Sakowitz, 74, died first.

On the day of her funeral, the hospital called the Cohens: now the father-in-law’s organs were shutting down. The Cohens rushed to the hospital. Dr. Barry Sakowitz, 75, died that morning. A few hours later, they buried Mrs. Sakowitz.

Still mourning, Dr. Cohen wonders, “Did I bring this virus into my house?” As he prepares to go to work, “My son says, ‘Daddy, be very, very careful,’ and I know what he’s thinking.”

The guilt threatens to swamp him. What if he is the third person in this household to die?

After the shift, Dr. Cohen photocopies his notes, so there’s no risk he leaves with paper that might have coronavirus on it. He cleans his stethoscope, pens, goggles, face shield and the bottom of his sneakers with antimicrobial wipes. He does a surgical hand wash, up to his elbows.

He changes into a clean set of scrubs, putting the dirty ones in a plastic bag, and walks through the hospital parking lot. Sitting in his car, he sprays the bottom of his shoes with Lysol.

At home, he removes his sneakers and scrubs, leaving them in a box in the garage, and heads to the shower. Only after will he allow himself to embrace his family.

How long will Dr. Cohen march through this meticulous ritual? When will fear loosen its grip?

“We’ve always been told to suck it up and move on,” he said. He wonders: When his own emotional crash comes, when colleagues start unraveling, “Will there be people there to help us?”

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[winterpart3-blog]

Volunteers needed for caffeine and mood study

Researchers from our Department for Health need volunteers to help them explore whether caffeine and physical activity might be useful tools to help people manage their mood.

The focus of the study is bipolar disorder, but it will also include people with depression and a control group of people with no mood disorder.

The call for participants coincides with World Mental Health Day - Wednesday 10 October 2018.

PhD student Samantha Eden who is leading the work explained: “Caffeine and physical activity are often used for the management of mood or energy level by people in general, including those with mood disorders such as bipolar.

“What we eat and drink and how much activity we do have important effects on our mood, but there hasn’t been much research into the interplay between caffeine, activity and mood.

“Caffeine is the most widely used psychoactive substance in the world, but because it’s so commonplace it’s often not seen as a powerful drug. It can be perceived quite negatively and some people with mood disorders have been advised to avoid it, but we don’t know enough about the real risks and benefits.

“Knowing this could help to understand whether it could be used as a cost-effective self-help technique – alongside medication and psychotherapies – for people with bipolar.”

The researchers need volunteers for three study groups: people with bipolar, people with depression and people with neither condition – so anyone aged 18 or over can apply. After screening interviews, participants will take part in an individual interview and/or seven days of lifestyle monitoring – wearing an activity tracker and completing daily questionnaires and diaries.

Find out more about this research

To take part or for more information, email S.L.Eden@bath.ac.uk or call 01392 724595.

The research is supported by the University's Alumni Fund.

James, 26, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II four years go. He noticed a connection between his diet, physical activity and his mood. He now takes steps to help manage his mood symptoms through these.

He explains: "It was through trial and error really that I found out that caffeine and the physical activity I was or wasn’t doing influenced my state of mind. It’s taken some time, but I’ve finally managed to work out what works for me. On a day-to-day basis I use caffeine as a motivator, giving me some get up and go, but not to the point that I’m reliant on it. It increases my focus and gives me energy and it’s something I really enjoy. I eat really clean and healthy foods – no fizzy drinks and very few sweet treats and I don’t drink any alcohol.

"For me, I think caffeine kind of replaces those ’naughty’ high-sugar things that make my thoughts go into overdrive, make me more anxious and irritable. I don’t measure things out but I know 1-2 cups of coffee spaced throughout the day, one in the morning and one in the early afternoon is my limit. I know if I have had too much caffeine as I struggle to sleep and my body becomes quite twitchy. I’m also a very active person. As I work as a landscaper/gardener – I’m always on the go and I also try to go to the gym most days. I find that I feel at my best when I am really active.

"When I spend a large percentage of the day sat down and I don’t go outside it really affects my mood in a negative way. I become irritable and fidgety and overthink everything and can easily fall into a bad place. Don’t get me wrong, some days I do find it hard to be motivated and active but even something as small as taking the dog out for a walk really helps lift my mood. So yeah, caffeine and physical activity are really important in the management of my moods. This is what works for me but I can’t say it’s a rule of thumb, as everyone is different, but I think it’s really important for all of us to look closely at simple things we often forget about, such as how food and drink can have implications on how we function day to day."

Source: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/volunteers-needed-for-caffeine-and-mood-study/

[centuryassociates]

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report

The Oregon legislature has been grappling with cannabis for five consecutive years. Talking with those in Salem trenches, one senses some fatigue. At this point, over a month into the 2019 session, a preponderance of legislators appear vaguely inclined to “let it ride” and drop the big ideas when it comes to cannabis. This means we are unlikely to see a full-scale merger of the medical and recreational cannabis programs in 2019 (too bad), and that most of the legislation will be maintenance oriented and reactive.

How did we get here? When Oregon representatives first met in 2015 to codify Measure 91, there was tremendous buzz. The Joint Committee on Marijuana Regulation was convened, and for three consecutive sessions (two long ones and a shorty) Oregon passed bill after bill (after bill) to stage and shepherd its cannabis programs. Following the 2017 session, however, the Joint Committee was dissolved, on the inclination that Salem would start treating cannabis more like a standard policy issue. The 2018 short session therefore saw comparatively limited action, consisting principally of a non-emergency gut-and-stuff marijuana bill, and an omnibus hemp bill to build out that program.

Today, we are aware of just two marijuana lobbyists in Salem, down from 25 or so in 2015, and a dozen or more just two years ago. Some of the trade groups have gone quiet or faded away entirely. Fortunately, legislators like Floyd Prozanski, Ken Helm and Julie Fahey remain with their extensive experience on cannabis policy, and Governor Kate Brown is still here to sign all the bills (she has never vetoed a cannabis bill). All in all, though, there is less energy and probably less expertise for this stuff than before.

Still, industry watchers should still expect a few noteworthy developments in the coming months, after committee work is done. Some of these laws will arise out of necessity, such as to accommodate the 2018 Farm Bill. Some may be out of near necessity, such as addressing oversupply in the OLCC system. And anything else would be either housekeeping or progressive new laws, like social consumption framework, or protecting employees for off-work consumption.

Today, there are 22 or so early-session bills on any number of cannabis issues, kicking around committee. It’s probably not worth getting too granular or even excited about the bills before crossover day, which is the date at which bills die if they haven’t moved out of their respective committees of origin to the floor (or to another procedural or joint committee). Legislation that crosses over and passes into law will likely look different—perhaps drastically so—than currently drafted. Crossover day happens in a couple of weeks.

Given the foregoing, this blog post is not going to examine the draft bills in detail (if you’re interested in doing that yourself, they are available here). Instead, I’m going to outline a few topics getting some discussion, and a few others with a shot at clearing committee and becoming actual laws.

Hemp. There’s almost nothing filed on hemp right now. The sole, skinny bill is HB 2740, a placeholder establishing an Oregon Industrial Hemp Commission and not much more. Rest assured, though: there will be more. Oregon must shape its hemp program for certification to the federal Department of Agriculture as per the 2018 Farm Bill, which will take some preparation by the legislature to ensure that Congressional guidelines for hemp economy states are met. Drafting is happening as we speak, and we expect a fuller hemp bill to pass this session.

Limits on Marijuana Production.  There is too much marijuana in Oregon, inside and outside of the state-sanctioned systems. This was the finding of the Oregon State Police Report, the HIDTA Report, the recent Secretary of State Audit, the recent OLCC Report to the Legislature and probably anyone who has spent a little time on the back roads of Jackson or Josephine County.

In a recent blog post, I mentioned that Governor Brown recently weighed in on this vexing issue, requesting a pre-session filing of Senate Bill 218, which would allow the OLCC to refuse to issue marijuana production licenses “based on market demand and other relevant factors.” This would give legislative backing to the slow-walk OLCC already has commenced on license curtailment. Will the Governor’s skeletal proposal stick as written? It seems unlikely. The big consideration here is how (and not “if”) the legislature will protect those who have already invested resources into an application. OLCC may also push back on the Governor’s approach, and request that the legislature take care of any moratorium itself, rather than delegate this problematic task. All in all, though, the smart money says a cap on production is coming. The theory is that processors, wholesalers and retailers are already self-sorting in the free market, but production needs guardrails. Cut off the head of the snake.

Interstate Compact and Sales.  This relates to oversupply, and kudos to Adam Smith and the Craft Cannabis Alliance for pushing the exchange idea so hard for so long. But are we going to see licensed marijuana export anytime soon? Probably not. The legislature could start down the path, though, by adopting suggestions and language from this issue’s work group, which seems to have traction. If we get legislation, it will likely be a gut and stuff of Prozanski’s pre-session filed SB 582. There are two big questions here. The first is the scope of whom is allowed to export and import, with possible consensus consolidating around “almost everyone”– licensed producers, processors, wholesalers and retailers. Another big question is: what will the “trigger” look like, allowing these sales to commence. For example, will sales be allowed if and when Congress re- or deschedules? Or when we get another federal tolerance memo? Technically, Governor Brown could enter into an interstate compact at any time, but if sales commenced before the federal door opened significantly, Billy Williams has pledged to shut it down. This means that any bill we get on export will be to tee things up and nothing more.

Social Consumption.  Every year, we see social consumption bills. Every year they fail. Typically, these bills are overbroad in that they seek to legalize cannabis cafes and indoor smoking lounges, which would require an exemption to the Oregon Clean Indoor Air Act (that law is slowly phasing out a few grandfathered cigar bars and smoke shops). Do Oregonians want to return to the days where employees and others sit in rooms filled with haze and smoke? Although there are compelling arguments to be made in support of populations who live in Section 8 housing, tourists, etc. (some of which were made in yesterday morning’s hearing), we don’t see it happening. This means the two bills on tap, SB 639 and HB 2233, probably need excision of the lounge licensing concept if they are to advance. Permits for temporary (outdoor) events, on the other hand, might have legs as long as alcohol isn’t present. The public tours for cannabis businesses contained in both bills could definitely work. All in all, chances are probably 50-50 that some version of one of these bills passes.

Local Grow Tax.  You can find this concept enshrined in HB 2382, which would allow for county taxation on both recreational and medical production, based on canopy size. This bill is a natural extension of the Southern Oregon Marijuana Initiative, a logic model produced by the estimable Rob Bovett at the Association of Oregon Counties. It is probably dead as written: industry will step on this hard. This means that additional tax revenues to counties would need need to come through reallocation, which means that the Joint Committee on Ways and Means must be convinced to move $30 million or so from the General Fund to various localities. Not happening.

Off-Work Use.  This should have happened already. Let’s hope Oregon gets it right in 2019, so that cannabis consumers are treated like alcohol consumers, and patients have access to medicine without fear of job loss. The hope is that HB 2655 crosses over and the legislature looks at reasonable carve-outs for safety and employers reliant on federal grants. It needs to get done.

We will keep you posted with insights and developments on the current session as things move ahead. Until then, if you’re interested in learning how we got here, below is an archive of “round up” posts on the Oregon marijuana legislation going back to 2015.

Oregon’s New Marijuana Laws: The Last Word on the 2015 Legislative Session

Oregon Opens Its Cannabis Industry to Non-Residents (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: The Banking Bill (2016)

Oregon Cannabis: The Merger of Recreational and Medical Has Begun (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: Many More Changes with the Christmas Tree Bill (2016)

Oregon’s 2017 Cannabis Laws: The Definitive List

Oregon’s New 2018 Cannabis Laws

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report posted first on https://centuryassociates.blogspot.com/

[jodieshazel]

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report

The Oregon legislature has been grappling with cannabis for five consecutive years. Talking with those in Salem trenches, one senses some fatigue. At this point, over a month into the 2019 session, a preponderance of legislators appear vaguely inclined to “let it ride” and drop the big ideas when it comes to cannabis. This means we are unlikely to see a full-scale merger of the medical and recreational cannabis programs in 2019 (too bad), and that most of the legislation will be maintenance oriented and reactive.

How did we get here? When Oregon representatives first met in 2015 to codify Measure 91, there was tremendous buzz. The Joint Committee on Marijuana Regulation was convened, and for three consecutive sessions (two long ones and a shorty) Oregon passed bill after bill (after bill) to stage and shepherd its cannabis programs. Following the 2017 session, however, the Joint Committee was dissolved, on the inclination that Salem would start treating cannabis more like a standard policy issue. The 2018 short session therefore saw comparatively limited action, consisting principally of a non-emergency gut-and-stuff marijuana bill, and an omnibus hemp bill to build out that program.

Today, we are aware of just two marijuana lobbyists in Salem, down from 25 or so in 2015, and a dozen or more just two years ago. Some of the trade groups have gone quiet or faded away entirely. Fortunately, legislators like Floyd Prozanski, Ken Helm and Julie Fahey remain with their extensive experience on cannabis policy, and Governor Kate Brown is still here to sign all the bills (she has never vetoed a cannabis bill). All in all, though, there is less energy and probably less expertise for this stuff than before.

Still, industry watchers should still expect a few noteworthy developments in the coming months, after committee work is done. Some of these laws will arise out of necessity (such as to accommodate the 2018 Farm Bill). Some may be out of near necessity (such as addressing oversupply in the OLCC system). And anything else would be either housekeeping or progressive new laws, like a social consumption framework, or protecting employees for off-work consumption.

Today, there is are 22 or so early-session bills on any number of cannabis issues, kicking around committee. It’s probably not worth getting too granular or even excited about the bills before crossover day, which is the date at which bills die if they haven’t moved out of their respective committees of origin to the floor (or to another procedural or joint committee). Legislation that crosses over and passes into law will likely look different—perhaps drastically so—than currently drafted. Crossover day happens in a couple of weeks.

Given the foregoing, this blog post is not going to examine the draft bills in detail (if you’re interested in doing that yourself, they are available here). Instead, I’m going to outline a few topics getting some discussion, and a few others with a shot at clearing committee and becoming actual laws.

Hemp. There’s almost nothing filed on hemp right now. The sole, skinny bill is HB 2740, a placeholder establishing an Oregon Industrial Hemp Commission and not much more. Rest assured, though: there will be more. Oregon must shape its hemp program for certification to the federal Department of Agriculture as per the 2018 Farm Bill, which will take some preparation by the legislature to ensure that Congressional guidelines for hemp economy states are met. Drafting is happening as we speak, and we expect a fuller hemp bill to pass this session.

Limits on Marijuana Production.  There is too much marijuana in Oregon, inside and outside of the state-sanctioned systems. This was the finding of the Oregon State Police Report, the HIDTA Report, the recent Secretary of State Audit, the recent OLCC Report to the Legislature and probably anyone who has spent a little time on the back roads of Jackson or Josephine County.

In a recent blog post, I mentioned that Governor Brown recently weighed in on this vexing issue, requesting a pre-session filing of Senate Bill 218, which would allow the OLCC to refuse to issue marijuana production licenses “based on market demand and other relevant factors.” This would give legislative backing to the slow-walk OLCC already has commenced on license curtailment. Will the Governor’s skeletal proposal stick as written? It seems unlikely. The big consideration here is how (and not “if”) the legislature will protect those who have already invested resources into an application. OLCC may also push back on the Governor’s approach, and request that the legislature take care of any moratorium itself, rather than delegate this problematic task. All in all, though, the smart money says a cap on production is coming. The theory is that processors, wholesalers and retailers are already self-sorting in the free market, but production needs guardrails. Cut off the head of the snake.

Social Consumption.  Every year, we see social consumption bills. Every year they fail. Typically, these bills are overbroad in that they seek to legalize cannabis cafes and indoor smoking lounges, which would require an exemption to the Oregon Clean Indoor Air Act (that law is slowly phasing out a few grandfathered cigar bars and smoke shops). Do Oregonians want to return to the days where employees and others sit in rooms filled with haze and smoke? Although there are compelling arguments to be made in support of populations who live in Section 8 housing, tourists, etc. (some of which were made in yesterday morning’s hearing), we don’t see it happening. This means the two bills on tap, SB 639 and HB 2233, probably need excision of the lounge licensing concept if they are to advance. Permits for temporary (outdoor) events, on the other hand, might have legs as long as alcohol isn’t present. The public tours for cannabis businesses contained in both bills could definitely work. All in all, chances are probably 50-50 that some version of one of these bills passes.

Local Grow Tax.  You can find this concept enshrined in HB 2382, which would allow for county taxation on both recreational and medical production, based on canopy size. This bill is a natural extension of the Southern Oregon Marijuana Initiative, a logic model produced by the estimable Rob Bovett at the Association of Oregon Counties. It is probably dead as written: industry will step on this hard. This means that additional tax revenues to counties would need need to come through reallocation, which means that the Joint Committee on Ways and Means must be convinced to move $30 million or so from the General Fund to various localities. Not happening.

Interstate Compact.  Kudos to Adam Smith and the Craft Cannabis Alliance for pushing the exchange idea so hard for so long. But are we going to see licensed marijuana export anytime soon? Probably not. The legislature could start down the path, though, by adopting suggestions and language from this issue’s work group, which seems to have traction. If we get legislation, it will likely be a gut and stuff of Prozanski’s pre-session filed SB 582. There are two big questions here. The first is the scope of whom is allowed to export and import, with possible consensus consolidating around “almost everyone”– licensed producers, processors, wholesalers and retailers. Another big question is: what will the “trigger” look like, allowing these sales to commence. For example, will sales be allowed if and when Congress re- or deschedules? Or when we get another federal tolerance memo? Technically, Governor Brown could enter into an interstate compact at any time, but if sales commenced before the federal door opened significantly, Billy Williams has pledged to shut it down. This means that any bill we get on export will be to tee things up and nothing more

Off-Work Use.  This should have happened already. Let’s hope Oregon gets it right in 2019, so that cannabis consumers are treated like alcohol consumers, and patients have access to medicine without fear of job loss. The hope is that HB 2655 crosses over and the legislature looks at reasonable carve-outs for safety and employers reliant on federal grants. It needs to get done.

We will keep you posted with insights and developments on the current session as things move ahead. Until then, if you’re interested in learning how we got here, below is an archive of “round up” posts on the Oregon marijuana legislation going back to 2015.

Oregon’s New Marijuana Laws: The Last Word on the 2015 Legislative Session

Oregon Opens Its Cannabis Industry to Non-Residents (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: The Banking Bill (2016)

Oregon Cannabis: The Merger of Recreational and Medical Has Begun (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: Many More Changes with the Christmas Tree Bill (2016)

Oregon’s 2017 Cannabis Laws: The Definitive List

Oregon’s New 2018 Cannabis Laws

from Canna Law Blog™ https://www.cannalawblog.com/oregon-cannabis-2019-legislative-report-and-forecast/

[kerrischutt1407-blog]

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