#i went to a knitting group regularly

[grunge-mermaid]

re: last poll reblog

I just went through the community centre events calendar from September to December to see if there's anything I missed

for all the events at the location in my town: I'm under 65, I don't have diabetes, and I'm not a recovering addict

for the all but one of the events in the next town: I'm under 65, over 30, don't have diabetes, I know how to crochet granny squares, I'm not a mother, and I don't have specific chronic illnesses

the one event in the next town that I'm eligible for? "colouring for adults 16+". colouring...

[fratttymatty]

Grown

(All characters are 18+)

Riley Grant had always been comfortable in his own skin. At 20, he was confident, passionate, and deeply rooted in his liberal values. He was a proud gay college student studying political science at a progressive university, spending his days debating everything from human rights to climate change. He had a close-knit group of friends, a boyfriend named Jonah, and a future filled with dreams of activism and social change.

But one day, everything changed.

It started innocuously enough. Riley had signed up for a strange elective called "Theories of Identity," a course that promised to delve into psychological and philosophical ideas about the self. The professor was eccentric—Dr. Jonathan Rivers was a tall man in his mid-50s with wiry glasses and a perpetual half-smile, as though he knew a secret the rest of the world was oblivious to.

One day, during a lecture on the nature of personal transformation, Dr. Rivers handed out strange, leather-bound journals to each student. "This," he said, "is an experiment. A test of your ability to reinvent yourself. To become someone else, entirely. This journal will guide you. Write in it, follow its instructions, and you might experience something... unexpected."

Riley, curious but skeptical, took the journal with a raised eyebrow. He wasn't one to believe in metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, but he liked the challenge. That evening, he opened the first page of the journal, where it instructed him to write about his deepest desire for personal change.

"I wish I could be more confident in my future," Riley wrote, his pen scratching across the paper. "I want to feel grounded, more sure of who I am, and find a place in the world that feels... stable."

It was a simple wish, something Riley had been pondering for a while. He didn’t expect much to come of it.

The next morning, Riley woke up feeling different. His usual morning routine—checking his phone, scrolling through social media, texting Jonah—felt strange, almost foreign. When he looked in the mirror, something was off. His face appeared… older. His jawline was sharper, his cheekbones more defined, and his eyes had a new hardness to them, as if they had seen more of the world than they should have for someone his age. He ran his hand through his hair and froze. His normally messy, untamed curls had been replaced with short, tousled waves that felt oddly natural.

But that wasn’t all.

Riley glanced at his phone, but when he read the notifications, a sense of unfamiliarity washed over him. Instead of messages from his college friends or Jonah, there were calls from people he didn’t recognize, reminding him of meetings, appointments, and a gym schedule. His inbox was filled with emails from work, and most disturbingly, there was an invitation to a family dinner later that evening.

Confused and unsettled, Riley stood up and stumbled out of his apartment to the bathroom. That’s when he noticed the changes in his body. His frame was broader, more muscular. He had the chest of someone who worked out regularly—and his arms were solid, like a boxer’s. He even felt a strange pull to the idea of boxing, something that had never crossed his mind before.

In a haze, Riley went to the living room to check the journals again, but they were gone. He only found his reflection staring back at him, a man he didn’t recognize.

The first few hours after his transformation were a blur. Ryan felt like he was waking up from a long dream, disoriented, his old identity slipping through his fingers like sand. Eventually, the reality settled in—he was no longer a college student with a boyfriend. He had a wife, kids, and a whole new set of beliefs.

When he checked his phone, he saw that his calendar was packed with meetings, family events, and even training sessions at the gym. Ryan glanced at a picture on the kitchen counter—there he was, smiling with a beautiful woman and three children in front of a well-kept house. The woman’s name was Jessica, and she was stunning, with long blonde hair, a radiant smile, and a grace that made Ryan’s chest swell with pride. His two sons, Ethan and Luke, both 18 were both healthy and active, always eager to play sports or spend time with their dad. And then there was Olivia, his sweet daughter who had Ryan wrapped around her finger.

Jessica was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, and Ryan couldn’t help but feel a profound sense of responsibility, a desire to protect and provide for them all. The future, once so uncertain for him as Riley, now felt crystal clear. It was his job to take care of his family, and nothing else mattered.

His phone buzzed again with a message from Jessica: “Can you pick up the boys from school? I have a doctor’s appointment today.”

Without thinking, Ryan grabbed his keys, changed into a comfortable hoodie and jeans, and headed out to the minivan. He noticed the way his hands gripped the wheel with confidence, the ease with which he navigated the streets. He was a man in control.

At the school, Ryan was greeted by a friendly teacher who called him “Mr. Grant” with a warmth that seemed so familiar. As he loaded the kids into the car, Ethan, the older son, turned to him with a grin.

“Hey, Dad, don’t forget—my first match is Saturday. You’re still coming, right?”

Ryan chuckled, ruffling Ethan’s hair. At 18, Ethan was already a towering figure, well on his way to becoming a star athlete. “You bet I am. Just try not to knock your opponent out too quickly, alright? You’ll leave me without much to watch.”

Ethan rolled his eyes playfully, but there was no mistaking the bond between them. Ethan was more than just his son—he was his teammate, his training partner, and his co-conspirator in the gym. Ryan had been coaching him in boxing for a while now, and it was one of their favourite activities.

Later that evening, as he sat down to dinner with Jessica and the kids, he noticed something else: his worldview had shifted. The conversations were different. He wasn’t debating politics with friends; he was talking about the importance of family, the value of hard work, and the role of faith in the home. He found himself nodding along to Jessica’s thoughts about raising children with good moral values and emphasizing respect for authority. It all felt right, the way life was supposed to be.

When the conversation turned to their growing family, Jessica smiled at him, her hand resting on her swollen belly. "Can you believe we're about to have two more? I think the twins are going to complete our family perfectly."

Ryan leaned over, kissing her on the cheek, and felt a deep sense of contentment. This was his life now. He was a man who was proud of his role as a father, someone who loved his country, his family, and his way of life. His new identity was firmly in place, and as he watched his children laugh and play, he realized he wouldn’t change a thing.

In the end, Riley Grant—the passionate, liberal, gay college student—was gone, replaced by Ryan Grant, a 36-year-old conservative father with a strong sense of duty and an unwavering commitment to his family. The transformation was complete.

Riley’s journals remained locked away, their purpose fulfilled. But for Ryan, life was just beginning. He had a beautiful wife, wonderful children—including a 18-year-old son with a promising future in sports—and a future he could be proud of. And as he laced up his boxing gloves that evening, ready to train for a fight—whether in the ring or in life—he knew one thing for sure: his new life was exactly what he had always been meant to have.

As the presidential election approached, Ryan could feel the weight of it hanging in the air. It wasn’t just about voting anymore; it was about the future—the future of his children, the future of his country. Ryan’s political transformation was complete, and it was clear where he stood. He had become a staunch supporter of the Republican Party, and this election was pivotal.

The conversation started over dinner one evening, as the family discussed their plans for Election Day. It was the first time in a long while that Ryan and Jessica had discussed politics with such intensity, and the shift in Ryan’s perspective was unmistakable.

“I’ve been reading a lot about the candidates,” Jessica said, her voice calm but firm. “It’s clear the Democratic Party has lost its way. Their policies are dangerous for our future—socialism, open borders, and government overreach. We need a leader who will make this country stronger, not weaker.”

Ryan leaned back in his chair, nodding thoughtfully. The person he once was—the liberal Riley Grant—would have debated Jessica fiercely, maybe even argued for the Democratic Party’s platform. But now, with his focus on his family, his home, and his new sense of duty as a husband and father, his beliefs had aligned with the Republican Party in ways he hadn’t imagined.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Ryan replied, his voice steady. “The Republican Party stands for the things that matter most to me now: personal responsibility, a strong economy, and making sure our kids grow up in a country that respects traditional values. The Democratic Party has pushed policies that are more about entitlement and less about the values that built this country.”

Ethan, their 18-year-old son, who had spent the last few months keeping up with the election, was quick to chime in. “I’ve been hearing a lot about the Republican Party at school, and I’ve been doing my own research too. I think the Republican Party is the right choice. They’re about securing our borders, strengthening the economy, and putting America first. I don’t want to live in a country where the government controls everything.”

Ryan couldn’t help but feel a rush of pride. Ethan wasn’t just agreeing with his father; he was forming his own opinions, thinking critically, and seeing the world in a way that reflected Ryan’s own values. It was a sign that Ryan and Jessica’s influence was already taking root in their kids.

“That’s exactly right, son,” Ryan said, looking at Ethan with approval. “This isn’t just about politics—it’s about making sure we have the freedom to live our lives without the government telling us how. The Democratic Party has been pushing all these policies that take away freedom and responsibility. The Republican Party understands that the best thing for this country is self-reliance and the strength of family.”

Luke, at 18 years old, was just like his twin, Ethan, listened intently. “So, we’re voting for the Republican Party, right, Dad?”

Ryan smiled at his youngest. “Yes, buddy. The Republican Party is the party that stands for what we believe in. They want to keep us safe, protect our rights, and make sure America stays strong.”

Olivia, also agreed, it was clear to Ryan that she was growing up in a household where their values were firmly rooted. This was the world he wanted for her—a world where she could grow up surrounded by the freedom to make her own choices, secure in the knowledge that her family was protected and valued.

On Election Day, the entire family gathered together in the living room, their eyes glued to the TV as the results began to roll in. The tension in the air was palpable, but Ryan was confident in his choice. He had voted for the Republican Party, knowing full well that the future of the country—and of his children—was at stake.

Jessica sat beside him, her hand resting gently on his knee, as they watched the numbers tick across the screen. “This is the future we’ve been working toward,” she said quietly. “It’s about securing a better world for our kids. A safer world, a stronger country.”

Ryan nodded, his chest swelling with pride as he looked around the room at his family—his beautiful, strong, and intelligent wife, his two sons, and his daughter who would grow up in this new world they were helping shape. It didn’t matter where he had come from, or who he had been before the transformation. The man he was now, the life they had built together, felt like the right path.

Ethan leaned forward, watching the election results unfold with a sense of excitement. “I really think the Republican Party is going to win. I just don’t see how the Democratic Party can push forward with everything they want. The country needs a strong leader.”

Ryan felt a deep satisfaction in his son’s words. It wasn’t just about the politics—it was about the way Ethan was embracing the values that Ryan now held dear: individual liberty, family, and national pride. Ethan was becoming the kind of young man Ryan had always hoped to raise.

“I think you’re right,” Ryan said. “This country needs a leader who understands the importance of tradition, of family, and of putting America first. I’m proud of us for making the right choice.”

As the night wore on and the election results became clearer, Ryan knew without a doubt that he had made the right decision. His world had changed—he had changed—and in this new life, the Republican Party was not just a political choice. It was a way of life.

Jessica smiled, squeezing his hand as the final votes were tallied. “We did it, Ryan. This is the future we’ve worked for.”

Ryan looked at his family—his wife, his children—and felt an overwhelming sense of pride. They were safe. They were strong. And they were ready for whatever came next.

[brellafaun]

assorted small town au ramblings

all the hargreeves kids grew up in different houses with their birth moms but still went to the same schools together. lila was a transplant from the burbs and she was dying of boredom her first year there

a small mountain town just feels right. lots of woods to explore, plenty of places to hike- small enough that everyone is close, but spacious enough that it's not suffocating

i can picture some of the boys going hunting when the season comes around. diego would probably get really into it and five would be the best with a crossbow. everyone is down for fishing and screwing around at the local lake, though

speak of, hargreeves family cookouts monthly. everyone brings something and the kids run around while the adults just chill. either hosted by diego and lila's place or at the lake's shitty park tables

Luther is a math teacher at the local middle school (he is so smart. i will die on this hill) and adores his job. all the kids think he's the coolest person they've ever met. Sloane is the geography/history teacher down the hall. they make lunches for each other and spend their prep periods together. their students FREAKED OUT when they found out they were married. he works with the local scout troops over the summers and likes canoeing the best

Diego works with the local fire department (i can't make him a cop i'm sorry) and loves it. got really into axe throwing and wanted to teach Stanley, Grace, and the twins how to do it before Lila vetoed it. deer hunts in the fall, fishes as often as possible. epitome of girl dad, those kids have him wrapped around their little fingers. best bass player in town and avid enjoyer of the local bars' battle of the bands

Allison works with local government. amazing public speaker. lives in the heart of town with Ray and Claire, happier than ever. always the first to volunteer for Claire's school events- coaches for the high school volleyball team and is the best drama coach they've ever seen. surprisingly, loves camping the most out of anyone in the group. points out every constellation (she and Luther compete to see who can name the most) when they're outdoors and makes the best s'mores

Klaus sells the crochet and knit goods they make at local markets/the town festivals. has immaculate reviews on his etsy store. somehow pulls the best thrifting hauls with Allison and Claire. goes to the lake the most out of the group- loves to swim out and relax in the water. doesn't go on the hunting or fishing trips but does know all of the edible plant species they can forage locally. roomies with Ben and has a cat named Tango. keeps picking up DIYs in order to have excuses to visit Dave down at the hardware store

Five is the group cryptid. has a cabin in the woods somewhere. almost a full-on survivalist, bound to actually go feral someday. works with the town's historical society and archives. gets lunch with Herb and Dot semi-regularly. Mr. Pennycrumb accompanies him everywhere, and nobody argues with it. cans his own food and has bees on his property (he regularly leaves jam and honey jars on the others' porches and denies doing so). either the best dressed one at the function or wearing an awful fishing/hunting pun hoodie, no in-between

Ben is a librarian, and a kickass one at that. the best at story hour (his puppeteering skills with the octopus are immaculate) and incredible with multitasking. handles a bunch of finance stuff behind the scenes (diego and klaus are hopeless with taxes, five has almost been arrested for evasion). works on his motorcycle when he has free time and rides down to the valley to visit his girlfriend. presses wildflowers and helps at the community garden

Viktor works at the local music shop, Icarus Records. Luther is his most frequent customer and has probably bought at least half of their stock at this point. he's got more music knowledge than anyone else in town. loves going out on the hiking trails to play at the peaks- it brings him a sense of peace like nothing else. volunteers with the schools to teach music. still in his teenage band with Diego and Lila. visits his mom every week and sits out on the porch with her drinking sweet tea. budding romance with the newest transplant- a recently divorced woman from texas. (her son adores him already)

Lila also works with the historical society, but as the chaotic social media/marketing manager. she gets paid to meme and that's probably her dream career. attends every PTA meeting purely to psych out the other moms. drums whenever she gets the chance, absolutely demolishing everyone at the battle of the bands. chaotic evil driver- she learned with city traffic and assumes it makes her immune to the super windy roads. steals Diego's flannels and denies it

might make a separate post about their teenage years,,,

[myseungsunglove]

Don’t Mess with a Good Thing | Hjs

Pairing: Jisung x Reader

Warnings: All the fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: You’ve loved your best friend Han Jisung for as long as you can remember. Really there has only ever been him, but neither of you have ever owned up to it. Until one morning when everything changes.

A/N: I adapted this fic from many years ago when I used to write very regularly. Hope it works okay and that you enjoy it as much as I do.

◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈

Feedback Welcome

「© July 31, 2023 by mysweethannie」

You sat on the balcony of the condo you shared with Jisung, Changbin, Chan, and Hyunjin watching the sun rise. Han Jisung had been your best friend since you were fourteen. The last nine years had been some of the best times of your life as well as some of the most trying and confusing.

When you first moved to Seoul to train at JYP, you didn’t really know anyone. At least not anyone training. Your family had moved away from South Korea to the States when you were five. You’d spent most of your formal school years there but always went to Seoul to visit grandparents. You spent every summer in Seoul and every summer your grandparents made sure your music lessons were always a priority and continued while you were with them.

Fast forward and it was 2014. You impulsively auditioned for JYP over the summer and got accepted into the training program. The entire trajectory of your life shifted in that moment. On the first day of training, you met Han Jisung. Somehow, over the course of the next three years you’d find yourself friends with Jisung, Chan, and Changbin, helping them produce music and lyrics for songs as you all trained together at JYP. It got even crazier when JYP himself allowed Chan to form a group of self selected members for trial debut and Chan pulled the biggest surprise on JYP he could have managed. He picked you along with 8 other guys. 1 girl, 9 guys. It was something JYP had never even thought to try. He made it pretty clear from the beginning he thought it’d never work when he decided to allow your group to compete on the Survival Show Stray Kids. He even eliminated members from your tight knit group in effort to derail your hopes of debuting as a unit, but you were dumbfounded that you were never in danger. When Minho and Felix had both been eliminated, you’d all been floored. Devastated. When they came back in the end, it was like you were whole again and gave one of the best performances of the show with all of you together. The rest was history. you’d all go on to debut as Stray Kids in 2018. During all of that, 3Racha1 was a constant and important pillar in your life. They had added the one to 3Racha when it was clear that you were an extremely important part of their unit and they wanted to move forward with you, whatever the cost may be. And of course the other members of what would become known as Stray Kids became like family as Chan intently and purposefully picked each one.

Han Jisung was the best friend you had ever had, though. You shared things with him that you wouldn’t dare tell another living, breathing soul. You were fairly certain that door swung both ways. You knew secrets about Jisung that you didn’t think any of the boys knew about him. That only seemed to strengthen your relationship and bond with Jisung. He was the most important person in your life. You lived with the boys so that you weren’t excluded from bonding with the group simply for being a girl. It worked out better than anyone really could have expected. When the one dorm was just too cramped for the nine of you after four years and it was time to split into two groups, the natural order suggested that 3Racha1 stay together. You guys would drag poor Hyunjin along for the ride, but you knew he secretly loved the chaos. Deep down. Maybe way deep down but it was there.

You sighed contentedly as you sipped your coffee, reminiscing about the last nine years and how the hell you had gotten to where you were in 2023, two days shy of leaving for fucking Paris to headline at Lollapalloza. It really all felt like a dream, but with the boys and especially Jisung by your side, you know it was all worth it.

You realized that you were in love with Jisung about a year and a half ago while prepping for the Oddinary comeback . You were always stubborn about admitting your feelings and letting yourself actually feel. If truth were to be told, you’d probably been in love with him most of your friendship. Who could blame you, really. The two of you acted like a married couple. You did everything that couples did short of making out and making love. Some days you desperately longed for that element of your relationship to blossom, but you were never sure if Jisung saw you as more than a friend or not. So you kept it strictly platonic. Ish.

He took you out on surprise date nights to quite corners where no one could find or bother you, you cuddled up together in bed and watched anime and Kdramas for hours on end on your days off hiding away from the world. He’d occasionally make you breakfast in bed which was always entertaining because he wasn’t the best cook, but he still liked to spoil you all the same. He’d often surprise you with plane tickets home when you had longer hiatuses, always insisting that he come along too. All of your friends at home would joke with him about when he was going to get you a ring and make it official. He’d laugh and say that you would never see it coming, winking at you as he pulled you into his side right where you belonged. It was the running joke every time you brought him home with you.

You weren’t really sure you were ever going to get the chance to tell him how you felt. You worried about the dynamics of the group and the viability of 3Racha1 if he didn’t return your feelings. Your mom always told you, “Don’t mess with a good thing, Y/N.” And who were you to screw up nine years of friendship? You cared about Jisung too much.

You took another sip of your coffee, pulling it close to you for warmth. A smile broke out across your face as the sun peeked out over the horizon. The warm golden yellow filled the air suddenly, taking your breath away.

“Beautiful,” Jisung said from the door behind you.

“It is, isn’t it?” you replied, turning and expecting to see him looking out at the gorgeous sunrise. Instead, his eyes were trained on you. He smiled at you as you cocked an eyebrow at him suspiciously. “What are you up to, Han Jisung?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he started, but you cut him off.

“Uh oh. Stop the press. Ji is thinking. We’re all in trouble!” you laughed as he sat down beside you.

“Seriously,” he chuckled, stealing your coffee from your hands and setting it on the coffee table, but not before taking a long drink from your cup and sighing contentedly.

“Hey! If I don’t drink that, I’ll be falling asleep on any surface I set foot on in the studio this morning. Give it back,” you whined, jutting your bottom lip out in a pout.

“God, I love you,” Jisung laughed, pulling you close into the crook of his side, right where you belonged.

“Damn straight you do,” you giggled as you wrapped your arms around his waist and snuggled into him, your face pressing close to his neck, your head resting gently on his broad shoulder. The air suddenly felt a little chilly and you burrowed closer to him, thankful that, for such a small person, he radiated heat like the sun.

Jisung kissed your temple, lingering longer than usual, inhaling deeply. You sighed. You really could stay like this forever. He spoke aloud what you were thinking.

“I could stay here just like this forever,” he said, pulling you closer, the tips of his fingers ghosting your skin where your shirt was riding up slightly. You shivered in response and his fingers dug into your bare skin lightly. “Only one thing would make it better,” he mumbled.

You placed your hand on his chest and pushed yourself up, so that you could look into his beautiful brown eyes.

“What could possibly make this better, dude?” you glared, pretending to be insulted that you weren’t enough to make the moment perfect. In truth, you were a little disappointed.

“This,” Jisung answered, his free hand landing on the base of your neck, pulling your lips to his. A jolt of electricity shot through you. You had only dreamt of this moment. Was this a dream?

His lips moved against yours with reverence, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip and daring into your mouth.

You pulled away, breathless. “Ji,” you whispered, your fingers running along the base of his hairline, the muscles in his neck responding to your touch.

He reached for his pocket, pulling something small from it. “That and this,” he said with a smile, holding the most beautiful ring you had ever seen.

You were speechless. Tears pooled in your eyes as you tried to process what was happening. Jisung spoke before you could form a sentence.

“I love you. You’re my best friend. I tell you everything. You are the person I spend 99% of my time thinking about. I think about how I can make you laugh. How I can make you smile. God, I think about what your lips would feel like against mine and damn if I wasn’t right. I’m cursing myself for not acting sooner,” he said, kissing you deeply once more. The connection was real and intense and you’d never felt anything like it before. The way his lips moved against yours, it’s like they were meant to be yours and yours alone.

He pulled away hesitantly, you chasing after his now kiss swollen lips. He chuckled softly.

“I think about how I’ve been madly in love with you for years, and how I think you love me too. I think about how you are the person I want to come home to everyday for the rest of my life. I think about what it would be like to make love to you, and I lose my mind. You make me lose my mind in the best way possible. That’s when I realized I wanted you to be my wife. What we have right now is a thousand times better than most couples I know, and we aren’t even dating. We’re better. I finally figured out the only thing we were missing was you having my last name and me knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are mine and I am yours. From the moment I met you, I knew there wouldn’t be anyone else baby,” Jisung finished, smiling at you, wiping away the tears that were steadily falling down your cheeks.

“Ji,” you whispered, pulling his lips to yours with passion. Once you were both rendered breathless again, Jisung pulled away hesitantly, not wanting to let you go now that he really had you for the first time.

“Y/N, will you marry me? I know we’re skipping a few steps and the boys will have to adjust, but this couldn’t feel more right,” he said, taking your hand and holding the ring in his other hand, looking at you like you held his entire world in your answer. In truth, the guys all treated you like you were together anyway. This wouldn’t really change anything except making it official. Sure you’d have hoops to jump through with the company, but you knew Chan would help you guys navigate those waters. Since he was like a big brother to you and Jisung, he was more than aware of your feelings for each other, both of you having confided in him over the years.

“Jisung, I love you. Yes. I’ll marry you. It’s always been you. It will always be you,” you said through tears as he slid the perfect ring onto your finger. You were marrying your best friend. The love of your life all without the pressures of dating.

“I told you you’d never see it coming,” Jisung smiled, kissing your temple.

“I always thought you were joking,” you grinned, beaming from ear to ear.

“I’m glad. If you thought that I was serious it would have ruined my plan. I could not have been more serious, baby.”

“My family is gonna to be shocked,” you laughed, staring at the ring as it sparkled in the morning light.

“I don’t think so,” Jisung smiled. “They saw the way I looked at you when you weren’t looking. Your dad told me the last time we were there that I better take good care of you. That he knew where to find me. Said he would be proud to have a son like me. Someone who loved his daughter so unconditionally,” Han confessed.

Your hand flew to your mouth. “He didn’t,” you gasped with a giggle.

“He did, but Y/N he couldn’t have been more right. I had the ring then. I’ve had it for almost a year,” Jisung revealed.

“Wow,” you managed as Jisung’s lips fell on yours again, his hand roaming your sides hungrily, slowly pushing the fabric of your night shirt up. His lips traveled down your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The way his touch set you on fire only served to confirm that being with him was always meant to be. You were on a collision course to this moment and neither of you had known.

Jisung was your best friend. Now fiance. You couldn’t wait to call him your husband, you thought as his lips traveled your body, showing you just how much he loved every inch of you.

“Is it done?” A chorus of voices rang out onto the patio, startling you and Jisung apart.

“Oh god!” Hyunjin cried when he saw Jisung’s hand up your shirt, laying across you on the bench.

“My eyes!” Chan mocked, covering his eyes.

“I think it’s done,” Changbin laughed.

You sat up, straightening your clothes and easing a very reluctant Han off of you as he settled down by your side.

“You’re looking at the future Mrs. Han Jisung,” he boasted, his hand holding yours as he showed the boys your ring.

“Bout fucking time,” Chan laughed which made all of you laugh in turn. “We should all get moving along. I’m pretty sure the early bird house is probably all already ready for the celebration breakfast. They actually sleep at night, unlike us,” he chortled with a yawn.

“Celebration breakfast?” you questioned, looking at Jisung. “Did everyone know about this?”

He smiled mischievously. “Maybe,” he admitted.

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “How did Jeongin not spill the beans?” You laughed. “Hell, how did you all keep this locked down so long?”

“Chan, Minho, and Seungmin are the only ones that have known longer than a week,” Jisung laughed. “The rest of these knuckleheads couldn’t have been trusted to keep their mouths shut.” He glanced at Hyunjin.

“Hey! I resent that,” Hyunjin pouted.

“You know he’s right,” Changbin laughed, clapping Hyunjin on the back.

You smiled fondly at them, leaning in to kiss Han once more. His hand came to rest on your cheek as he pressed closer to you once more.

“Alrighty,” Chan said, clapping his hands together and walking back inside, dragging the other two with him. “Don’t get too handsy, you two. We should probably leave within the hour before Minho shows up at our doorstep,” he warned with a chuckle.

“Shit,” you mumbled against Jisung’s mouth. “Can’t have that. Between him and Seungmin, we will never hear the end of being late even if this is all about us,” you laughed.

Jisung tossed his head back, a belly laugh emitting from him at the thought.

“You’re so right. Better get moving,” he agreed, jumping up and offering you his hand, the most beautiful smile on his face. You took it, the stupidest, happiest smile plastered on your own. He pulled you close, kissing you slowly once more. “Damn,” he sighed. “Why haven’t we been doing this all along? I’m never gonna get enough of you,” he admitted with a low growl against your lips.

“I’m all yours, Han Jisung. Tonight I’ll show you just what that means,” you promised, running your hand along his chest as you walked past him back into the house, heading for the shower.

“Fuck,” he whispered, watching you walk away, daring a glance back at him with a wink. “How about you show me now,” he teased, chasing after you which caused you to take off toward the bathroom. You reached it before he could catch you and closing the door and locking it behind you. “Sorry, babe. Guess you’ll have to wait,” you teased. You heard him sigh and moan, slumping against the door momentarily.

“Just you wait, y/n,” he warned. “Just you wait,” he repeated as he trudged down the hall to his own room to get ready.

You leaned against the door with a happy sigh. You couldn’t believe how much your life had changed in the last hour and you couldn’t be more excited for the changes it meant for the future. You were engaged to Han Jisung. You were the luckiest girl in the world.

[44-mr-midnight-44]

To spread my HMS-don't-live-in-a-headspace-but-rather-Earth-like-everyone-else AU propaganda, as that's the case for every AU of HMS I write primarily for (and always will), I can share some headcanons that can pretty much only happen in this type of AU:

-Heart and Mind went to Catholic school per Cameron (Whole)'s parents demands; Heart was definitely a popular kid, the kind where he could make a really bad joke in-class and everyone would laugh anyway just because he said it, while Mind was an awkward, shy little fella who occasionally got picked on (often taking years to realise he was being picked on at all) and only had a small, tightly-knit friend group of fellow nerdy friends.

-The perks of having nonhuman characters (in this case, a species called ids) in an otherwise fully-human world means you got the brilliant interactions of "hey… did I just see you bleed blue?", "hey, did I just see you land in-front of the restaurant…? with wings…?" "hey, uh… did you just summon that Trident out of… literally nothingness?" and it makes for a fun time of HMS (moreso HM) casually talking about how fusing with your "family" and becoming one whole person and losing all individuality and consciousness to become working gears in someone's brain again is one awesome dream, and the others being… weirded out to say the least!

-I get to think of each of their separate jobs!! Heart in my AU is only blind so long as he's still traumatised from the event that made him blind, so I like to think he works as both an art therapist for foster kids and also educates at a planetarium. :3 Mind works with cars, and Soul? Oh, Soul. He works at McDonald's his entire life.

-They can play with each other and have a good time in the real world as each of their own beings!!!!!! They can go to the beach and splash one another, they can go to the mall and hold a bra up to their chest and go "how do I look?", they can go to a diner and casually ask for uncooked venison while Soul goes "{no, you can't say that! They're gonna think we're–}" but it turns out they already regularly ask this…

Please enjoy my non-headspace HMS propaganda.

(Also pls pls pls pls don't reply/reblog this post with why headspace hc is better/why you prefer it I wanna keep this positivity for this hc bc it's so so niche!!!!!)

(Reblogs > Likes)

[wjehfshs]

Reader who is very sweet and kind, his vibe is " :D ", he is so happy that everyone likes him even valeria, secretly gets special treatment from everyone but doesnt realize it. Also goes along with anything, you just casual lift him up and take him away when he was having a conversation? Ok! Plans change at the last second? Sure, doesnt bother him. Bakes and crochets during his free time and gives the things he created to the people in base. Loved by everyone, everyone also loves him. (Baby of the group, and babied by the group)

Thank you for reading this, take your time, rest if you need to♡

Omg just :D reader

Hyper happy reader, a lot of COD MW/MW2 characters and COD Ghosts characters are in this don’t ask why, even Valeria likes reader, oblivious reader, fluff, platonic, male reader, readers babied and compared to a fairy at some point

On the field you where like any other soldier

But off the field you where the definition of confetti as a person

Everyone just felt this need to protect you

They knew you could take care of yourself but they couldn’t help it

Valeria and Alejandro would regularly argue over who got to pamper you that day

“Ah [name]! I was wondering if you wanted me to run you a bath?”

“Don’t listen to him he would do it right, it would be gross and cold. Let me do it for you!”

For the next 15 minutes they argued in Spanish over who got to run the bath for you

God even Graves loved you

You where the only one who was allowed to cuddle with Ghost and play with his hair

König would let you climb him (maybe or maybe not inspired by another one of my fics lmao)

The thing is you didn’t even realise how much everyone loved you

You knew they loved you, and you loved them but you never knew the extent of it

Normally people would just sit wherever they could during their meals but you had a saved seat

“Leave room for [names] seat”

“Is that seat taken?” “Yeah [name] is sitting there” “what? But he’s in the shooting range?” “[name]. Sits. There”

Keegan would let you use him for piggy back rides

If you wanted you could bother Price all day in his office and he would be more than happy to let you ramble on

Hesh would let you paint different patterns on his face each time he had to go out on a mission

Stars, hearts, stripes, dots, whatever he didn’t care if you pained it on he was wearing it

If someone was mean to you Roach would sign to them, chewing them out for being rude to you, his hands where going so fast you couldn’t even read them

You and Soap where a chaotic duo

Screaming, running around, laughing, and doing stupid shit

Once you where talking to König in a crowded situation, he was starting to get stressed out so he just picked you up, threw you over his shoulder, and walked off with you

You didn’t even stop talking, it was like you didn’t even notice you where now basically 7 ft in the air on a man’s shoulders

Gaz would send you a stupid amount of Tik Toks daily, you would always watch them and get excited

Once for Christmas you went out of your way to knit scarfs for everyone. Like quite literally EVERYONE. You explained you spent the past year on this project

Some of them started crying with how sweet you where

On multiple occasions you would just be in a chair knitting something random

You also crochet most of your own accessories and clothes

“Ah this is so pretty [name]!” Farah told you, feeling the fabric of your crocheted beanie “May I please have one? I’d love to match with you!” She asked

You happily agreed, ecstatic to start the new project

You skipped away to grab your materials happily

You also loved to bake things for people

When it was Soaps birthday you made a cake for him, decorated with sugar flowers and leaves

It was so cute

Everyone was hesitant to eat it because they didn’t want to ruin it

They opted for all taking like 50+ photos each

You where literally a fairy in their eyes

[harrisonarchive]

George Harrison at Silverstone in July 1987; photo by IMAGO/Crash Media Group.

“There were two television programs that regularly enthralled [George]: motor racing and fashion shows, where long-legged models balanced along the catwalk for hours. George had taste.” - Klaus Voormann, translated from Warum spielst du Imagine nicht auf dem weißen Klavier, John? (2003)

Q: “Many people don’t entirely understand the fascination of Formula One. What does it for you?” George Harrison: “It’s the many different, amazing people and their ongoing soap opera that I can view closely without having any direct responsibility for. It beats Coronation Street.” - The Times, March 2000

Last month, this fan page took a look at George’s Desert Island Discs, and Harrisongs chosen by others (see George's jukebox feature). On that note...

Kate Moss: “Oh, ‘My Sweet Lord’ by George Harrison. I was shopping with Anita Pallenberg and Marianne Faithfull, and we were buying last minute Christmas presents. And I went, ‘Oh, my God, is that George Harrison?’ And he came out of the shop, and said, ‘Is it you?’ And I said, ‘What?’ And he went, ‘When I’m not watching Formula 1, I watch fashion TV. Are you… Kate Moss?’ I went, ‘Yeah, I am. Are you George Harrison?’ And he went, ‘Yeah!’ (laughs) And I was like, ‘Oh my God.’ And he said, ‘Come in, come in, I wanna buy you a Christmas present.’ And he wanted — he tried to buy me this… well, he, I wish I’d let him buy it for me, but I just couldn’t let him because it was so disgusting, this jumper — but it would have been, like, my jumper from George Harrison.” Lauren Laverne: “(Laughs) Christmas jumper, Kate! Sometimes taste has to go out the window.” KM: “I *know*, but it was cable-knit, batwing — cable-knit, batwing pink sweater, and I was like, ‘Please, I can’t let you buy that for me.’ But I loved him so much. And ‘My Sweet Lord’ was [re-]released the week he died. And I couldn’t stop crying. I cried, I was sobbing. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I mean, it’s upsetting, but I mean, I could not stop crying. And I found out I was pregnant with Lila. So that’s my song with her — and for George.” - Desert Island Discs Podcast, July 2022

“[George] was a big part of my life growing up, too. And [‘Something’ is] just, for me, one of the most beautiful songs, it makes me want to cry every time I hear it.” - Stella McCartney, Desert Island Discs, June 2017 (x)

"My Sweet Lord," as selected by Kate Moss (the video) "Something," as covered by Phyllis Dillon, and selected by Stella McCartney (listen)

[aziraphales-library]

hello, i was wondering if you perhaps knew of any fics that involve crowley and anathema being friends? ive just always felt like they would get on well, they're both similarly odd and prone to ranting about the sizes of animals brains

thank you so much for all the work you all do btw!!

Hi! Here are some fics which feature a friendship between Crowley and Anathema...

You've Got a Funny Way of Making Friends by ellbie (T)

Anathema swirled her drink in her glass. “Then what?” “Er, then… I don’t know. I didn’t see him again until the Great Flood.” “Well, when did you start, y’know…” Anathema waggled her eyebrows. Crowley flustered. “Mind your own business, witch.” “Hey, you’re the one that agreed to talk to me about all this stuff. You can’t be mad that I’m asking questions.”

Friendship is Demonic Magic by Shadow0kana & whtbout2ndbrkfst (T)

After Crowley interrupts Aziraphale and Anathema’s phone conversations one too many times, Aziraphale suggests the two have their own meetups to discuss what they have in common. Cue monthly coffee dates between a witch and a demon who can passionately discuss (debate) anything from Halloween to Astronomy to Hamlet… while also conspiring to form a book swap aimed at getting Aziraphale to read anything written after 1950.

The Nice and Accurate wedding of Anathema Device, Witch, which went just as expected by Nenchen (G)

Wedding planner Anathema Device is the Number One. She can organize anything for a wedding, flower arrangements, catering, a marching band or an emu. The name Device is a guarantee for a picture perfect wedding - and the perfect pictures will be taken by her top wedding photographer, and best friend, Anthony J. Crowley.

Both of them see weddings mostly as business, until Anathema meets Newt, Love of her life, walking natural disaster extraordinaire, and very much not a person it’s possible to have a perfect wedding with.

Which is perfect since Anathema frankly never wanted one for herself. She just wants a fun party, good food, and all of her friends to attend - including Crowley. For whom this might just as well be the apocalypse because no, he is not allowed to work on her wedding. Strictly invited only as a guest, Crowley finds himself at a loss. What the hell do you do at weddings? Well, if you are Crowley, the answer is some James Bond-like action, some worrying about fly swarms and their sources, having a lot of emotions, drinking some very funny wine, putting your foot in your mouth and just maybe meeting someone to share all of that with. Oh, and there’s always cake, isn’t there?

Healing by AppleSeeds (M)

After Crowley sustains an injury, his friend Anathema persuades him to come with her to the spiritual centre she regularly attends so that he can receive some spiritual healing. Crowley doesn't expect the healer to be quite so attractive, and certainly not that he'll end up developing a crush on him. As their sessions together progress though, Crowley starts to wonder whether Aziraphale might actually have feelings for him too.

Thrown for a Loop by MickyRC (T)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a large amount of yarn will be assumed to be a knitter.

It is a truth universally acknowledged among crocheters that this is annoying as hell.

In his many years crocheting, Aziraphale has never been one to let that assumption stand. But faced with an opportunity to join a knitting group run by a very sweet new shop owner, he decides to play along. Even if it means he has to pretend he wants to learn how to knit. Even if it means he has to hide his skill with a crochet hook.

It’ll be worth it to get to know Crowley better. Probably. Hopefully.

(It will.)

secondhand smoke by PaintedVanilla (T)

you're second hand smoke, second hand smoke i breathe you in, but, honey, i don't know what you're doing to me mon chéri

the year is 1990, and anthony crowley is looking for a church in london that might be tolerable. the one he winds up attending isn't exactly such, but he decides to stick around for one reason. said reason happens to own a bookshop that crowley begins to frequent, much to the surprise and delight of anathema device and newton pulsifer, who seem quite convinced that crowley could use something else to focus on besides gardening, their campaigns, and visits to tadfield.

- Mod D

[gbearyacorn]

Black Coffee 🔞

Chapter 7: Dad Bleat Dad

Summary: Guess who’s coming to visit?

“Mmm, morning dearest,” you giggled and arms tightened around you as lips trailed the curve of your neck.

“Good morning, my darling,” Alastor replied groggily.

You turned to face your lover, heart melting at his love struck expression. A soft watery smile, ears flopping over messy bed head, and glowing eyes met yours before your lips connected. You sighed in contentment and wrapped your arms around his neck as he carded his claws through your hair. You brought a hand to rub at his ear and he gave a happy bleat against your lips, a soft blush rising in his cheeks.

“That feels lovely,” he sighed and leaned in to your touch. Your heart swelled and you scraped your claws gently through his hair, rubbing his ears as you went. You stayed there for a moment, soaking in each other’s presence as you snuggled close.

“Ready to start the day?” You asked, a soft smile playing on your lips. You knew the answer as soon as the question left your mouth- it was a resounding no, but yes.

You laughed when his brows knit and pressed your fingers to the crease, rubbing small circles as he relaxed under your touch.

“As much as I’d like to stay in bed all day, I suppose we do have responsibilities.” He sighed at the inconvenience and kissed you once more, rubbing his nose against yours. “Would you like breakfast?” You smiled and nodded at his offer before you both got up to get ready.

When you entered the lobby, there was a huge commotion. Alastor looked over the railing and his eyes hardened for a moment before he continued on his way. You looked over the rail and saw the residents getting ready for what looked to be a… well, you weren’t really sure what kind of party they were preparing for.

A large ‘It’s a boy!?!’ banner hung on one wall and you saw two little dragons working together to hang up a ‘Wellcum Daddy’ on another wall. Maybe someone was expecting? You would feel terrible for whoever was- hellborn, be they from sinners or sins, demon or angel, were killed far too easily in the pride ring. Cannibal Town was the only place you could regularly see children, and even then, you still lost many to exterminations.

When you reached the foot of the stairs you noticed Nifty popping out of an oven with some fresh cookies. She really did enjoy pain; you giggled and accepted one of her treats when she zoomed over to you. Alastor also accepted one, but discreetly handed it to you- could he ever refuse something from the adorable little demon? Probably not. You shoved the whole thing in your mouth before she had a chance to notice.

“Who’s having a baby?” Your question seemed to confuse the group, but Charlie clarified the situation for you. You learned that the young woman was running the hotel by herself with no help from her parents or other family. Everyone was preparing for King Morningstar to arrive and hear her out to get a meeting with Heaven.

“So, you’ve been running this hotel completely on your own? This whole time?” You were shocked, to say the least. You knew the Morningstar family were reclusive, but you hadn’t expected such a sweet woman to come from such a neglectful home. ‘You know better than anyone what kind of a person can come from a painful background. Some of the most beautiful art passes through a crucible,’ you thought. But so many break under that pressure- you hardly thought it a good parenting strategy.

“Well, I have Vaggie; she’s been so supportive and helps any way she can. And Alastor, of course! Along with Nifty and Husk, we all do the best we can!” Charlie rubbed the back of her head and looked to Vaggie nervously. It was then that you saw her jump at a knock at the door.

You wished you could just leave, but it would seem that you were too late for that. You went to stand next to Angel and grabbed the drink he handed you. The last thing you wanted was to intrude on this poor woman when having to face her father. You hoped she would succeed in her endeavor- Charlie was so brave to face her fears head on like this. You had no idea what to expect from the king of Hell, but you couldn’t imagine him being pleasant. Curiously enough, you couldn’t feel any aura outside- how powerful must one be to hide themselves completely?

When the door opened, you were surprised by the adorable happy man crushing Charlie in a tight hug. What confused you even more, though, was Alastor’s reaction to the affectionate greeting. His eye twitched in seeming irritation as he looked down on the shorter man; had they met before, or perhaps he was upset that Charlie was doing everything on her own as well. Too many questions for just waking up.

Alastor introduced himself and you cringed as they began butting heads. Did he have a death wish? Surely he knew not to mess with a literal angel. The sheer sass of the man would impress you if you weren’t afraid for his life.

Charlie introduced everyone else and you were grateful for the distraction. The king was definitely not impressed with his daughter’s project, but was trying (and failing miserably) to keep a positive disposition. A large chandelier suddenly dropped before the king burst into song.

He seemed to want to help, which was a relief, but the way he was going about it was all wrong- the man hadn’t even waited to hear her proposal. And why the fuck was Alastor busting in for a dick measuring contest? What in the heavens was he thinking? Your jaw dropped when he suggested to Charlie she could almost call him ’Dad’. If he wanted to double die so bad, there were easier ways to go about it!

You were marching your way over to tell them to just fuck and get it over with when the whole number was interrupted by a short blonde bursting through the front doors, declaring herself to be ‘Mimzy’. You thought you remembered Alastor mentioning her last night as the owner of the club you visited. You could kiss the adorable woman for her perfect timing. Their friendship was confirmed when the man called out to her and gave her a warm hug. Well, thank Satan for beautiful little miracles.

If only it would have been enough to keep him in the lobby. Your day had started off so well. You sighed and joined Angel at the bar to listen to Mimzy tell Alastor’s story. You weren’t surprised at all when she said he turned into a kitten if you just put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye. You wondered where Husk had wondered off to, but the way he acted around Mimzy had your warning bells ringing loud and true.

It would seem Mimzy had gotten herself into trouble again; a small group of loan sharks were trying to beat the doors down. Why didn’t they just walk in- you didn’t think anyone had locked them.

A portal opened up to your side and out stepped Charlie, Vaggie and King Morningstar. Where had Alastor gotten to? He shadowed in just as Vaggie was about to go out to defend the hotel.

“No, my dear, allow me. It’s time I remind everyone why I am here.” His eyes flashed with sadistic glee as he rose up on his tentacles. “A reminder to all not to mess with the Radio Demon.”

Your breath caught as he threw himself out the door, his form growing to the giant who’d flayed you just yesterday. Was it only yesterday? You felt like there was far too much commotion for you to process. Especially when your lover (who had previously been frustrating you with his petty behavior) was slaughtering all those loan sharks outside. It didn’t matter how annoyed you were with him; his sadistic horror show soaked your underwear.

You were saddened to see Mimzy go, but proud of Alastor for setting firm boundaries. That woman was a riot!

You were eating popcorn with Angel, Husk and Pentious to enjoy the show. Your heart swelled when Charlie and her father sang to each other- it was adorable! You realized that Lucifer must have some sort of angelic depression from his fall. That helped explain his masking behavior at least. You wanted to know more about the family, and perhaps you could learn more. If this meeting with Heaven went well, you would offer your services to the princess. The amount of heart and strength in the young woman was positively inspiring!

When Lucifer finally left, Charlie had secured her meeting, and secretly your loyalty. When Alastor came back to your side you gave him a look- one he would eventually understand to mean he was in trouble.

“Darling, would you mind escorting me home? I believe there has been enough excitement for one day.” Your voice was definitely showing your irritation by the way his ears drooped and his smile almost falling as he offered you his arm.

When sufficiently far away from the hotel you looked around to confirm there were no prying eyes before bothering to speak.

“You wanna tell me why you were acting so childishly to the king of Hell?” Your side eye gave him pause. ‘Hmm, perhaps he was acting unconsciously’ you thought as you watched his brows knit.

“I’m sorry, Vixy. That… I lost control of my temper. I… can we talk about this when we arrive at your home? There is an explanation, but it is not easy to talk about.” The look in his eyes gave you pause and you nodded your affirmation before his shadows swallowed you up.

You stepped though your entry and sealed the dimension before walking to the kitchen to make some coffee. The way Alastor was sulking was honestly adorable, but you did your best to keep firm as you handed him his drink.

“So, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I hope you realize you scared the shit out of me today. You were lucky the king wasn’t feeling murderous after those stunts you pulled.” You watched the demon before you deflate, his ears drooping and his smile waning. You waited for him to form his thoughts before he sighed.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to scare you, I… Ugh! Why is this so vexing?” He growled out his frustration and rubbed his hand through his hair. You sat silently and watched him struggle- at least he was trying.

“Some of this I can’t talk about,” he said, pointing to his throat and you realized quickly what he meant. Someone owned his soul. Someone acquainted with Lucifer perhaps.

“A lot of it is my own personal failings… I told you that my mother was attacked by her employer?” He was looking for confirmation, so you nodded, your own posture deflating. This was something that had triggered his past. You were slowly working to put the pieces together.

“Well, you know what it was like back then. She was hurt, and my dear ol’ man took it as his tragedy. Like she cheated him somehow. The only consolation is knowing that she’s in Heaven and somewhere down here is where those despicable creatures landed. I still hold onto the hope that I’ll recognize them one day, and make their souls mine.” His eyes were hard, his hands clenched tight.

“What happened?” Your voice was soft as you placed your hand over his, but he pulled away. He didn’t want to be touched right now, so you pulled your hand back and tried not to take it personally. You had just scolded him like a naughty child.

“Mama was always working so hard. Papa worked too, but again, you know how it was back then. Women were slaves to their husbands; she did everything at home after working long days. She never once complained, always so joyful and with a song in her heart.” His eyes turned soft as he spoke.

“She never let anyone get her down. She had the strength of her ancestors and faith in her. I never could understand her strength, but I always did my best to emulate her. She would laugh at me anytime I tried.” He laughed at the memory before sighing.

“She was a black woman in the South, she was used to being put down and yelled at, threatened in all sorts of ways, but it never actually happened until she started working for a wealthy white family. The patriarch set his vile sights on her and he raped her.” He paused to collect himself, and your heart clenched. There was such pain in his eyes.

“Afterwards she came home just… completely out of it. It took hours to get her to speak, and she began having… panic attacks… whenever papa touched her. Most men, and women, as you yourself know, were not very sympathetic to rape victims… especially when they became pregnant and needed help, not judgement.”

Alastor paused to sip at his coffee before looking back to you.

“Would you mind very much if I asked for some of your weed?” You nodded and went to grab your stash before handing him a lit blunt. He took a few hits and seemed to relax a little bit, but there was such tension in his shoulders; you knew the worst was yet to come.

“She was hospitalized for two months. ‘Feeble minded’ they called her.” He scoffed at the memory, his ears downturned.

“It was all just an excuse to turn away from what happened. An excuse to end… An excuse to sterilize her so she couldn’t produce anymore bad stock.” He ground out the last part and you felt a knot tightening in your throat. “Alastor…” He looked back to you and his eyes were watering.

“She was never the same when she got out. She needed help and they only hurt her more. But that wasn’t what broke her. She never really broke. She just… stopped being there all together. Years went by without her songs. No, it was dear ol’ dad who did that. I’ll never understand why people feel the need to hurt and blame those of fairer means. You told me you formed a hatred in your heart?” You nodded in understanding.

“He beat us, but she would always do her best to defend me. He took her tragedy and made it all about himself, taking to the drink and always insulting us. It was a slight against him that she could no longer reproduce. Hell, I was so pale, maybe I wasn’t his either. Why take care of a bastard who wasn’t his?”

“He was my first kill…” he finally said. Your eyes connected and you couldn’t help the demented smile that grew. How in the seven circles did you end up with the perfect mate? You did your best to keep your hands to yourself, but his confession made your soul vibrate with the want to take him. You wanted to find these souls and present them gift wrapped and hog tied to your love and watch him tear their souls apart.

“So, basically what you’re telling me is that you have daddy issues,” you said, grabbing the blunt from him to take a hit before handing it back.

He laughed at that and nodded, leaning back against the couch and offering his open arms. You scooted next to him and let him wrap his arms around you. “I’m sorry about earlier, ma chér. I’ll try to do better, but I can’t make any promises. When I see a dead beat dad I just want to wring their necks.” He sighed out his frustration and you hummed in thought.

“I have no wish to defend a fuck up father, but in this case, I don’t think that’s what’s going on. He certainly seems neglectful, but I believe he stays away because he sees himself as a failure, not out of contempt.” Your words seemed to have him humming in agreement.

“I believe you may be correct, but in that case he shouldn’t be the one ruling Hell.” Those words gave you pause.

“And you think you would be a better candidate?”

He looked down at you, his eyes flashing. “Clever girl, but not quite. That’s all I’m able to say.” He kissed the top of your head and you snuggled closer against him.

“Well, I can’t say I’m impressed with your earlier behavior, but I certainly understand. Maybe try to work through these feelings a bit more. Have you talked to Rosie or anyone else about this?” He nodded.

“She knows a little, but not the whole story. She knows I have a certain bloodlust for unsavory characters.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. I hate that you and your mother went through such horrific circumstances. It wasn’t fair to either of you.” Your words helped to deflate the demon, and his arms tightened around you.

“You know, it scares me how easy it is to divulge my innermost secrets to you.” He nuzzled into you and you snuggled in.

“Well, my darling, you’ve certainly given me quite the ammunition,” you teased, a sly grin on your face. “I will keep your secrets.”

You heard him chuckle at your reply and turned your head up to look at him. “I’ll tell you a secret in return.” Your predators eyes flashed as you grinned up at him. “My father was my first kill as well.”

Alastor’s breath hitched and he stared at you for a long moment, his eyes bleeding red to black. He said nothing as his arms tightened around you and his shadows swallowed you up, depositing you on your bed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, a break in his voice. You looked at him, confused, and he laughed, tears beginning to leak from his eyes.

“Try your best not to be, love. I find it quite endearing that of all the demons in the pentagram, we seem to have so much in common. You have no idea how much joy you brought me with such a confession.” You smiled, turning over to face him and cupping his cheek.

He stared into your eyes, not bothering to wipe his tears, and you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling under his chin. “Cry all you want, my love,” you said.

He made such little noise, but you felt his body begin to shake and every so often, he let out a sniffle or sob as you held each other.

“Stay with me tonight. I don’t want to let you go.” Your request brought another sniffle before you felt him nod silently. You grabbed your blunt and offered it to him after he calmed down a bit. He took a couple of hits before handing it back to you. You took a couple of hits as well before setting it back down, turning back to wrap your arms around your beau.

You stayed awake and watched over your darling that night. You thought to yourself how you would go about finding the two men- you could put in a request with Ozzie or Stolas. Hell, even Blitzø might be able to help track them down. You hoped that if they didn’t own their souls, that you’d be able to trade for them.

As Alastor snuggled into your warmth, you wrapped yourself around him and purred. You smile grew wicked, thinking about all the ways you could gift the beasts to your darling. Perhaps you could make him his own torture marble, that way he would always know where they were, paying for their crimes in a tornado of pain.

You finally drifted off in the early morning, dreaming of the pain you would bring for your love. You were so looking forward to it.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

haedcanoms ..... fro anyome yuo can thimkdj of 🙏🙏🙏🙏💥💯💯

this is gonna be. a big block of text. uve enabled me and now im gonna talk for forever. uh. :3333 (also a shit ton of my hcs are just me projecring shjt so.)

okayyyy uh. dave went to private school for like. 4 years. he didnt follow any rules and wouldve definitly gotten expelled ljke 2 weeks in but bro strider is. so fucking rich so he just payed to keep him kn. he still had to wear those stupid ass uniforms tho and now he absolutely hates wearing polo shirts. fuckinf despises them.

sollux??? massive h*r fan he makes a shit ton of uber obscure references that like no one gets but him and he makes liek anyone hes ever had a positive interaction with watch it. aradia also likes it bc he made it like impossible not to if youre close enough to him. he kinda got terezi in2 it and she really likes trogdor.ike REALLY likes trogdor.

speaking of aradia and sollux aradias like a massive goth music fan and they listen to that stuff together like all the time. he listens to more,,, mainstream ig stuff regularly but then aradia makes him listen to her entire collection whenever theyre together

Jane can speak french,,, shes not french or anything in thr SLIGHTEST but she learned it bc like. idk desserts are french sometimes. and she just randomly starts speaking french to be annoying n fuck with ppl. roxys learned a little bit from her so sometimes she does too but. rarely.

terezi sollux and feferi friendship 🙏🙏 thsyre so. important to me. i dont remember how much they imteract all together in canom ik jts at least once but... theyre literally a version of the primary colors please thsyrs so friedn group that youd think would hate eachother but they surprisingly dont

jane crochets also alongside baking. she makes people shit like. all the time and probably spends way too much on yarn. she does it while watching all those dumb sitcoms??? whatever theyte called (like parks and rec and arrwsted development and the good place. that stuff). she also sometimes hamgs out with rose and they crochet/knit together

dirk and roxy make like the most shitpost stupid meme references (more often roxy) and like no one else gets them or rreally finds them funny bc theyre all from like. 2009. or ehatever while roxy n dirk are from. the future (i forgot when and no im not lokking jt up) roxy especially has like. dumb tumblr humor and will say the weirdest shit and no one will get it except dirk

feferi sends sollux videos like "t)(is reely reminds me of you ♥️" and then its a 5 minute jerma laighing at car crashes compilation or some shit.

dave makes that type of music that either sounds like actual shit or really good depending on the person. like uber expirimental fucked up random sfx dumbest lyrics ever etc etc (idk how to describe it but like. if uve listened to like.... queef jerkey thats what im imagining)

if were imagining that quest for the missing spoon exists in homestuck (since the comics do, plus theres other stuff like movies and plushes) dirk definityly had the pepsi blue chilis centerfold cutout on his wall. i also think him and maybe roxy??? quote that shit like not even on purpose CONSTANTLY since it was such a big franchise. also i think itd be funny if people talked ab it like how they talk ab harry potter and shit like "oh my god im SUCH a geromy."

aradia plays cello. like this absolutely fucking massive one too thats like deep reddish wood and its heavy as hell and it shouldnt be feesibly possible for her to carry it around but she can skmehos??? and shes really fucking good too. she likes 2 play for fer friends n partners

feferi adores tmbg esp their earlier stuff but she likes it all. shes got a playlist of every single one of their songs she could get ahold of and badically only listesns to that one playlist. she also knows a shit ton about the band itself and knows fun facts about like every song and will NOT hesitate to infodump whenever something slightly related comes up in conversation.

sollux LOVES classic tetris hes extremely fucking good at it and knows how to do all the weird shit w/ the controller like hypertapping and rolling and honestly probably made up something new. he basically only plays past killscreen (he found an nes somehow and hacked jt to let him start anywhere) and is the type of guy to be like "Oh yeah thii2 2hiit2 ea2y here II'll giive you a begiinner level two." and then. start you at level 29.

i have more i think but i cant remember any besides like "__ is a fan of "__ !!!!!" bc i just live projecting my interests onto characters. again sorry for so many words um. 💔

[b-sai-des]

An Interview with Lilith a.k.a nicho santos is dead (pt1)

Earlier this week I had a really in depth and insightful conversation with a good friend of mine from high school, Lilith Santos (they/them), an experimental hip-hop producer studying music production at Berklee College of Music in Boston. They’ve been doing a lot of really interesting work with their solo albums and collaborations with different artists, and I was really grateful to hear from them about a variety of different topics like their collaborations, their personal journey as an artist, elements of their particular approach to production, and their personal philosophy as an artist and a person. 

We started catching up on what we’ve been up to. Lilith said that they’ve been busy with a lot of classes, but they’re doing some upcoming shows in Boston as well.

I’ve gotten to know Lilith pretty well these last few years, and one of the things I’ve always admired about them is their authenticity and sense of community. In our big and close-knit high school friend group I’ve definitely felt this, and Lilith spoke a lot here about the way that they look at things and how that’s shaped and been shaped by their journey with music. 

I know you've been working with a lot of different artists lately, like Annie Elise, Maz, Ghais Guevara, and asoookha. Is there a particular story when you met one of these artists? What was the start of one of those creative collaborations? 

Oh, for sure. I could give you the answer right now. I could do it for all of them, actually. It's not that deep. If we're thinking chronologically, then the oldest person that I know from these two, it has to be Annie, Annie first. Annie is someone that I met online during the peak of the COVID pandemic and all that whole jazz and stuff. And it was a Discord server that I would regularly flock to because I did moderate in that (laughs) as lame as that sounds. Jokes aside, I am very proud of doing my role in the community for that amount of time. And actually, Annie is the person that convinced me to go to Berkeley to begin with. 

Oh, wow. 

Yeah, she was the person that was actually willing to encourage me to audition, do all the stuff that I had to. But it kind of just started off on like a very mutual basis. Like we had friends of friends, she was at Berklee at the time before she dropped out. And, you know, we would talk a lot, but nothing really would suffice until I really got into Boston.

Now, maybe it was like a couple months before I got to Boston. And keep in mind the mindset that I was, I just had gotten out of like an eight-month relationship and she had just gotten out of like a three-year relationship. I told this story to a lot of people because it's really funny how we ended up coming with this idea [their music project, The Heartmenders] to essentially cope with our loss of partners, but also the gain of our fruits of a new life, essentially. And what happened was I was visiting Boston beforehand, just to kind of check out the school, visit Annie and all that. And I remember the first night that I arrived there, I'm driving over to her place, I'm trying to find parking and I get a text and she's like, “Sorry if I seem upset today. I just got broken up with.”

And I'm like, holy shit, that couldn't have been more insane timing than what happened to me. So, you know, being a friend first, I listened to her. We went out to get pizza,  it was like this whole, it was a really nice night. I look back at that night with such fondness and joy, but in retrospect it really was the start of everything. 

Cause I remember she would text me two months later, on and off talking. This was after I got into Berklee. After she helped me with my audition process, the year prior, she was like, “You know, well, since my ex doesn't have the performance privileges to be with me anymore, do you want to perform with me?” Already getting a gig opportunity before school started was crazy to me, and I'm so fucking grateful for this moment in our friendship. I'm very grateful for her in general. I can tell you that I'm grateful for all these people. When I got that opportunity, it was such an easy thing to say yes to, and I'm so glad I did. 

It was at Bill's bar, for a Breaking Sound showcase. And it seemed like the biggest thing in my life. Now it's like, you know, footnote of the past, but it's like one of the biggest things that happened to me. And in that period of time of moving in, getting settled into school and figuring stuff out before the show, we were like, “Hey, let's just make some music together so I don't have to just perform like all your stuff – no offense, I just want to be able to perform some of my stuff as well.” And she’s like “Yeah, sure!”

I feel like we were super lucky in how we caught lightning in the bottle that day when I was making beats over at her house and we were laying down vocals. She was so easy to work with. She really knew her way around the DAW [digital audio workstation], I was still more or less an amateur. I'm still a student in my craft, I'm still learning how to do all of that stuff, but, you know, seeing her work inspired me to figure out a work process on my own, work harder on my stuff. And we would just end up sending a bunch of shit back and forth to each other from the summer before I moved into Boston. 

I think the important thing was that the relationship, the friendship, was already established. So that made the work 500 times easier. Being able to work with her on that, get like devil's advocate on certain inputs, but also just being able to rock out and like have no stress and making shit with was probably one of the biggest blessings I could ever receive, and it definitely did carry into how I treat a lot of my collaborators and like, you know, how much I want to do, see the chemistry, you know, whatever's up with that.

And, you know, Annie and I have been like really close friends since I still keep up with her from time to time on the phone. She's super busy nowadays, but she always makes time to respond and do all this stuff with me, so I find myself grateful.

Annie Elise and Lilith Santos are The Heartmenders.

We're working on a new album right now. We're taking our time with it.

That gets me excited, because the first EP – I was blown away by that.

And that was like, those are really old tracks. Actually, I'll send you the old demos right now, I think it was on a fucking Medium article. I wrote about it in the Medium article. I do talk about the entire story in a lot more depth. I'm really glad I wrote about it. It was a really fun exercise (laughs). Yeah, it was just a fun time. It's really funny looking back at my previous heartbreak, and I don't feel so strongly about it right now. You know, it's just kind of funny knowing a time where like I deadass wrote about it, and it was so cathartic for me for no reason. 

I can give you another collaborator too, which one are you the most interested in? I could do all of them. 

Yeah, whatever you feel most interested in talking about. It sounds like you have a really good repertoire and a good relationships with all these people. It's cool to hear that kind of camaraderie that's there that you have with all the people that you're working with, and it sounds like a really nice community there.

Oh, for sure. For a lot of things, especially in school, the one thing I have to remind myself at the beginning was that I'm here for the school. Obviously, I'm here to make my parents proud. And it was already a crazy journey, becoming a musician, taking it seriously, and then actually going to a school for it. But the more important thing that I'm here for is the community. I mean, I've made some amazing friends. I could like, talk so much about them, you know, just how true to themselves they are, and how much they inspire me to keep working on things and do things a different way or see things a certain way. It's honestly super inspiring. 

One of those people is Maz. Now, Maz is someone I met recently in the whole grand scheme of things. I became very good friends with him like a year ago. He's like one of my closest homies I ever made at the school. And we met off of a beat battle for the Berkeley Hip Hop Club that I was recommended to do when, you know, everyone was still trying to find their friends for college, their roommates, and be like, “oh, like I have this thing in common, too.” I didn't meet him there, but a friend of mine was like, “Yo you should join the beat battle. The guy who runs Berklee Hip Hop right now is judging it, and I think he would be really cool for him to see your work.” I took him up on the offer. He really liked my work! 

And we kind of knew of each other, but it was really when we met in person – a lot of the stuff, especially for all these collaborations, except for one, really blossomed after meeting them in person after they're really getting to know them as a person. I'm a very social person. I try to be at least, and, you know, (laughs) it definitely shows. 

Now, the funny thing is with Soul Snatchers, that whole EP was just tracks made for fun. And we somehow just worked our way into a really nice, concise circle full of ideas and such. it's just really easy to just make something, put down vocals, and then be done with it. The surprising this about this was I exclusively produced it. Another great thing about the collaboration was that I had Maz there helping me with the beat as well. Maz already is like one of the greatest working producers I know at Berklee. Like, he knows how to mix, he knows how to engineer, he knows how to experiment just enough, but also keep it in the realm of like, digestible. You know, for someone like me, that's a bit of a task! So seeing Maz do it and also being a part of his band helps too. It's amazing. And I think the main thing I got from this was that we were just having fun. A lot of the music that we make is never really that deep.

There are certain things in the production that Maz wants to fulfill every time we have a session. And whenever those prerequisites are filled up, I get to do whatever I want. So it's kind of taught me a lot about restraint. He's very set on what to do. He's very clean, thorough, efficient with it. It inspired me for my own production, just kind of honing down my process even more to like almost on a molecular level, especially for just like basic ideas.

It's really nice. I have like a mini Maz in my head sometimes telling me to make split decisions or not, and then just sticking with them until the end of the song. 

It seems like from all your collaborations, you kind of picked up things from them, and you've learned from each of them. I was also wondering, for your most recent album, distant benevolence – I was struck  when you released side B, because I could definitely see how you and asoookha had two distinct styles, but they kind of came together on both side A and side B.

Yeah! Ah, oh, man, ah that collaboration was a lot of fun! So they mentioned this in their YouTube description of the actual tape itself. They literally uploaded it like a day ago. In the comments, he does recall the story of when this first happened. Originally, we were friends of a friend. Shout out to TEYO. If you're reading this, what up? That kid is fucking talented. And amazing.

TEYO! on Spotify

He was the one that brought asoookha and I together. I remember hearing off of one of his tracks. I think it was "the lights dim as I live." It's a good song. The production on that was like, absolutely stellar. And like hearing that come from an 18 year old, right? Fucking wild! Like I was making stuff at like 18, but I don't think I ever sounded like that good. So I was like, okay, I had to see what was up with this guy. 

I get invited to the discord server and I immediately make friends with this dude. Asoookha is awesome. We have a lot of the same interests. We're both into the same, like DJ and HoloLive, VTuber shit. It's a, it's a really funny thing to bond over. But at the same time, like our shared love for these like weird ass interests, like anime and like VTubing and like just weird fucking unplayable video games, it really brought us closer.

Youtube upload of Distant Benevolence Side B by asoookha.

And this guy's in Australia. Now keep in mind, this is not my first rodeo with a long distance friendship– I have this friend named Allanah, crazy voice actor, who I met a couple years ago over the internet and across the sea. So awesome. Like just such an awesome individual– Asoookha lives all the way in Australia, so I know how this shit works already. I know what kind of times to be up at. I know when to hit them up, when to not hit them up type of deal. And it was just really easy for us to get along. 

And one day, I think it was like maybe a couple of months ago, they were like, yo Lilith, do you want to just like make a collab album? That would be really funny. And I was like, as funny as that does sound, I think it would sound pretty good. So I went along with it. And I think for the entire time, asoookha was just not expecting for this to work out. Like, it was just going to be like another, like, “Oh, like, you know, we'll say we'll do it, but we're never actually going to do”, but we, we kind of came in and swept! It was such a crazy display of a two way street I've ever seen, especially from Boston all the way to Australia. We were really on top of our shit.

And that's what was like, so surprising about it. And, you know, our styles are super different. I'm very – I don't think my stuff should be perfect at all. I don't want it to be perfect. That's against my whole being as a producer, my style. Just having the weird dichotomy of like, super clean, nostalgic beats from asoookha and like this dirty but like raw and emotional stuff coming from me, it was like magical to me, hearing everything front to back. We thought about the track order and stuff together. And we just realized like, it would sound good if we just went from one emotion to the other, just like quite literally had two sides of the tape dedicated to each of us. It was kind of easy from then on.

I'm very thankful to call myself his friend. He's probably one of the craziest, talented producers out there in terms of sampling and finding stuff and getting really deep, like deep into that pocket.

I was surprised to hear “X-Wing” being sampled in one of the asoookha tracks on side B.

“video games SUCK?” 

Yeah! The way he utilized Denzel Curry's vocals from X-Wing and kind of just completely flipped it.

The band [CENSORED (sorry, no sample snitching)], I think it’s a flip of them, if I recall correctly. But like, no, they're just, asoookha’s kind of crazy with it. Like they, like a lot of people just kind of slap on rap acapellas onto beats, and they’re the only couple of people that I know that can do that super well. But it surprised me to hear asoookha just threw their thing on that. Like, I mean, I don't do that a lot anymore as much as I used to, but I've been thinking about it more and more now. It's just kind of inspiring. A lot of the people I'm very grateful to. I'm so fucking grateful to be in this position that I'm in. They just kind of proved me wrong in a lot of ways. That's really all I can ask for from people! Like just prove me wrong! Show me I can do something a different way. That's really it.

I could definitely see both of your styles, there's such a beautiful synthesis on the final product. So yeah, I definitely, I definitely see the fruits of that labor.

For sure. Oh man, I'm gonna have this new whole list of shout outs right now. Shout out to Eli. Shout out to VVN. Shout out to Kyle, my boy Kyle. Shout out to Maz. Shout out to fucking Nate, man. Shout out to Quinn. Shout like, I got so many people to shout out. I don't even know if I can fit this shit in. I got so many people to thank for like, in terms of music stuff. Cause you know, it's just you know, this industry is already hard as is, as an artist being solo. Having a community just to kind of back you up and uplift you when you need it, but also being able to give that energy back and uplift that back to them: that is like one of the things I live for. Friends and family are awesome.

As for your upcoming shows, where are you going to be playing at? 

I'm doing something for the Women Producers Showcase at The Loft at Berklee. It's going to be a nice little show, not too much. Then I got like a little thing going on at Bencils Live. It should be on the 18th, if I recall correctly. it's going to be like a whole 30-minute set party kind of vibes. But I'm just going to be doing my thing. I don't know. It's just going to be a bit hectic in terms of preparation. I just go by feeling to be honest (laughs).

One of the things that's clear with Lilith is the sense of gratitude she has for the people she works with and have friendships with and the opportunities she's had. Lilith really values the nature of collaboration, and they've learned from each of their projects with different artists and friends.

After this point, our interview turned more towards Lilith's personal journey and their specific style. Lilith explains the significance of their artist name and their journey of coming out as nonbinary along and their personal philosophy which carries over into their personal style. Go to part two.

[theretirementstory]

Good morning, it’s Christmas Eve and it’s a cloudy 7c here this morning. Who cares? It will soon be Christmas Day when you can eat your body weight in chocolates before breakfast (with any luck 😂😂).

The amount of baking that has been done in this house lately, you would think I was going to be feeding the five thousand, but no, I have been preparing to give homemade food gifts to friends and neighbours this year.

After the open invitation I received last week, to visit a friend in a nearby village, I received a message from the friend in town where I spent “Réveillon” four years ago. She said that her daughter was coming from Nancy to spend time this Christmas and that there would be 11 at the table she was sorry that she couldn’t invite me. She did say that when her daughter leaves (27 December) I can go to eat with her and her sister. I did reply saying that as I still have low immunity I am wearing my mask and being very careful and avoiding large groups. I guess going to her home with just two people there could be ok but of course they will have been with nine other people themselves. Well we will wait and see.

It has been mince pie making, date stuffing, peppermint cream making, cake decorating, meringue making, baking other cakes and a first attempt at making sage and onion stuffing balls. I am still not finished, I need to marinate goats cheese to have with endives, pears and walnuts as my starter tomorrow. Monday I will be making another “first attempt” this time it will be bread sauce, I can but try these items which in the UK are readily available in a packet and only require the addition of water or milk in the case of bread sauce.

Monique came to visit and forgot the glycerine! She brought it down the following morning, unfortunately I was out shopping so she left the bottle on my kitchen window sill. In the afternoon I went to meet Claudine at the stained glass workshop to collect the bottle of glycerine she had bought at a pharmacy. One thing is certain I have plenty of glycerine I will probably be making Xmas cakes regularly to use it all up!

I went to the cinema with Pauline again, we saw “La Tresse” (The Braid), what a moving story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Pauline is leaving this morning to go to Lille to spend Christmas with friends. We will meet up after Christmas. She has been visiting McDo in the afternoons (it’s quiet then) and she said they have been selling two macarons and a coffee for €2,90.

I went to see my friends Marlene and Manu on Friday taking foodie gifts for them. I came back with a beautiful Christmas card and a homemade gift with chocolates. I also received the most heartwarming message when I got home, not just thanking me for the gifts.

The cleaner was ill on Monday so didn’t come to work she was better for Thursday and I had a present for her. She asked if she could open it and was so moved by the gift that she hugged and kissed me. Well I didn’t see that coming!

Had a video call on Thursday evening with a friend in America. We have both been receiving treatment for cancer, she is still receiving the treatment so most of our conversation was around treatments however as her home is actually in Bar-sur-Aube she likes to catch up on activities in town.

I messaged Josette, a lady from the old knitting group. She had moved from Urville to Troyes a few years ago as her husband was on dialysis and they moved nearer to the hospital. Sadly she lost her husband back in May. She said she is finding it hard to adjust and will be spending her Christmas with her children.

It is so funny that when I was coming to France one of my criteria was to be in a town with few English people as I wanted to integrate with French people. When I arrived I believed I was the only English person in the town, I have since heard that there is an English man married to a French lady who has lived here for a lot of years, however, I have never come into contact with him. What a surprise though to now have among my friends, Portuguese , Finnish, American, Dutch, Afghan, Romanian, Turks, Georgians, Nigerians and Syrians, as well as French! The doctor I had when I first arrived was Equadorian now that was a first for me 😂.

I have decided that my taste in music is quite eclectic, so let’s have a look at my choices this week. The first one is back to 1971, it is “Tap Turns On The Water” by C.C.S. It always brings to mind my Godmothers house that I had known from being a very young girl.

The second song is “Trapped” by Colonel Abrams which dates back to 1985. Memories of this song are from dancing the night away in “La Grotte” disco in Sousse Tunisia.

“The Photographer” messaged me last night saying the bar he was in had a bottle of champagne which came from very close to me. The champagne was £64 per bottle in the bar. Turns out it was a bottle of Drappier Champagne. the champagne house is 4.5 miles from where I live, situated in the village of Urville. I wonder how much that bottle would cost here?

“The Trainee Solicitor” has finished work for a break over the Xmas period, he said he will be “popping in” to catch up on things. Well I hope he is going to take some time to rest up as he has been feeling “not too good”.

“The Ex-Graduate” has been working her socks off and the work doesn’t ease off over Xmas for her. She has the Bank holidays off but then is working 5 days/nights in a row including New Years Eve! Roll on a start date for the full-time job in her chosen profession.

I imagine that my gorgeous grandchildren are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus. They are celebrating their Xmas Day with Daddy on the 26th December. What fun, two Xmas Days 😁, hopefully there will be time for a video call with Grand-mere in France not on their Xmas Day but one day that they are with Daddy.

So now, when Pauline is preparing to travel to Lille for Xmas, Anie is safely ensconced in Indonesia, Darcy is ready to enjoy Christmas in Florida, I am ready to enjoy my Christmas here in my home. I have chosen a bottle of champagne, it is a rose and is my last bottle of Cudel. There won’t be anymore of that for me as the champagne house was sold a few years ago. Never mind I may have a bottle of Drappier another year, who knows!

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas, hopefully catch you again before the New Year.

[forbidden-spaghetti]

Geogradient Shawl is complete! I slowed down a lot at the end, but I accidentally added two extra rows between dip rows on clue 4. Looks like it blocked out alright and I honestly don’t mind how it looks so I’ve decided to keep it. I’ll add fringe once it’s dry and call it complete!

Anyway, more thoughts about this project under the cut

SO!

The pattern is.. not my favourite from Westknits, but definitely not a bad one. The pattern itself was decently written but there was a discrepancy between clues 1 and 2 regarding which colours to use. I’m not too upset about that because of the shitshow that was clue 1 but I do hope it gets updated eventually. Subsequent clues were updated, but I mostly went by the pattern and didn’t check the ravelry group all that much so I ended up using less colour C and D in the design as a result. Another part of the pattern that irked me somewhat was the right handed language used. This is pretty standard for knitting patterns but idk I was hoping a big designer like Stephen West would at least be able to use more neutral language so as to not confuse me lol. The original clue 1 was especially confusing as I had to construct it in the opposite direction.

The first two clues were a bit boring tbh. Westknits MKAL patterns always seem to be full of wacky stitches and cool colour play but this one felt like a slog until I got to clue 3. Again, I blame the part 1 shitshow for this and I do understand that it’d be a huge pain to have to rewrite an entire part of your pattern in a few hours. I adore the Granny Square alternative clue 1 and honestly wish I had seen it before deciding what to do with mine but oh well lol. Overall, pattern is ok. I already have a triangular shawl so I was hoping the would be a different shape, so clue 4 was a pleasant surprise!

Now when I got up to the horizontal floats and dip stitches, I was a bit wary because while they look pretty, I feel like this shawl is going to catch on eeeeeveeything. I don’t know how much I’ll wear it, it might be a special occasion kinda shawl.

The yarn I used was too thin. The result was nice and airy with a good drape, but it does make the floats and dips a little less impactful than I’ve seen on other finished geogradients. I didn’t buy a kit from my lys but my lys was selling kits of this yarn. Otherwise the yarn is lovely and soft. I have about 150g leftover (not including the scraps I plan to turn into fringe) so I’ll have to think of something to do with them. I don’t think they’re going to play ball with my other fingering weight scraps. It was also a bitch to frog and would get fuzzy at the drop of a hat thanks to the alpaca content.

Overall I enjoyed this project though. Would I do another MKAL? Probably not. At least not for a while. I think I’d rather wait for the design to be released first. But who knows? I am a slave to my FOMO and there was a lot of that in my geogradient shawl.

Would I make this pattern again? Honestly? Yeah. I think I’d do it with a thicker fingering weight yarn and probably with a proper merino (or merino/nylon at the very least) I’d also do the granny square variant clue 1 and probably the optional mohair part in clue 2 as well. I was a little peeved that optional mohair wasn’t listed in the initial materials but apparently that a weird unwritten rule of an MKAL- Stephen is just happy to drop this info mid project and assumes that every knitter has an extensive stash of yarn they can pull from. Especially mohair, which isn’t something that’s regularly produced in Australia (except for one farm in QLD) so it’s all imported and all expensive.

It’s a pity, because the mohair dares I saw looked gorgeous.

Anyway, I’ll add the fringe once it’s dry and probably won’t touch it again for 6 months. That’s another lesson learned: all the trendy patterns on ravelry are seasonal for the northern hemisphere so it’s not worth keeping up with them.

[necromatador]

📖, 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 (particularly the latter bit), 🥰 for Rok!

📖: Describe your ideal character arc for them. How do you envision them changing by the end of the story?

Ideal character arc, hmmm... Something like "becoming a hero"? Or more the vibes of "filling the shoes/role" where he actually becomes the folk hero instead of just the guy who knows all the folk hero stories. Personally, by the end of the story I think he'll have learned to function in a group better instead of being more of a lone agent and he'll be less in it for the chaos and more in it for helping people (not that he isn't already in it for helping people but like...that can get overshadowed by the opportunity to cause a little mayhem when it really shouldn't and he definitely focuses a lot on taking on the Nobles head to head).

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦: What is their family like? Are there any family members that are particularly influential and/or important to them (whether in a positive or negative sense)?

Oh boy the Merla family sure is something. They're big, chaotic, and very influential in the politics and community of the Undercity. In general they're pretty tight knit and would kill for each other. Mama Merla probably already has tbh. As for the members most important to Rok, she's is pretty close with her oldest brother Aeron, but all the siblings are because Aeron basically helped raise all his younger siblings. She's also pretty close to his mom, as they all are. After the most recent adventure to the Crooked Palace, Rok has grown a bit more semi-belligerent respect for her older brother Corbin. They have a very affectionately antagonistic relationship. She's also pretty close to Carey and Vaughn, the youngest two members of the family who can't work and don't go to school just yet, baby-sitting them a lot when Aeron isn't able to.

Oh oh! For a negative family member there is her dad! Obvs most of the siblings have different dads from one another, and while some have neutral or even positive relationships with their fathers, Rok is one of the few Merla kids who doesn't. Her dad is your stereotypical idiot meat-head and even Mama Merla couldn't fucking stand him for long, not to mention he bullied Rok back when Mama Merla tried to let him be a part of their life so they went as no contact as possible and even now Rok longs to beat him to a pulp. That is also why Rok's the only rook sibling. (Rok dislikes Aeron/Fionnuala/Vaughn's Dad for similar reasons.)

🥰: Who do they currently consider to be their best friend and why? Has their best friend changed over time?

Currently? I'm not certain if they consider anyone their best friend. They've got friends; the party and some of the folks they work with regularly especially in the Ballpeen Union, but they had a really rough falling out with the last person they considered their best friend (you know you grow up together, you join a pyromaniacal cult together, you find out they really just like burning books and destroying information and that your friend has no problem with that but you do, so you have a huge fight when you try and get her to leave with you, and she threatened to burn down everything you love, and you tell her if she ever tries then she will learn definitions of suffering she'd never thought possible, that old chestnut) and they're hesitant to trust someone again.

[maryellencarter]

still alive. found out that if you tape an n95 (or equivalent) to your face with paper medical tape apparently you get like 99.6% filtration, which stacked with a vaccine booster even at the discouraging 70% efficacy rate for the badassfullest variants gets you to like a 0.35% chance of catching the covids, and (if my math is math) a 0.35% chance of *that* of both catching it and then passing it on, which is something like one in 80,000 odds. which is within a serious significant figure range of it not actually making a difference whether you go out to things or not, you still won't get anybody else sick. (don't make me figure out the probability. i slept through stats class. got an A, but like fuck do i remember it. i can do percentages and multiplying fractions on my head though)

anyway. so that happened. and then there was an email newsletter of all the weekly happenings in town. and i went a drag show and a drag queen recommended me a queer yarn shop, and i'm going to a knitting group tomorrow for the first time since lockdown. also there's a coffee shop that is also a bookshop, and a place specializing in anime merch (no lupin iii but i did find leia some cute original art), and a japanese botanical garden that i haven't been to yet, and a geology club that meets on monday evenings once a month and now that i can actually get out of work on time i can plan to go to there regularly hopefully maybe

christ, i literally haven't spoken to a geologist since i left indiana that i can remember

anyway so then i was slightly less depressed and went to work today and promptly spent seven hours before lunch dealing with shit because my job is still what it is, but it's a little better when it's not the only thing i will ever have again

at some point i need to make a proper donations post because missing three weeks of work from one of the worst depressive episodes i've ever had does bad things to my ability to make the rent, but i'm pretty sure i don't have the math brain to do the math on that right now. i think i'm gonna be a couple hundred short but right now i'm just trying to decide whether to take a bath first or fall asleep and bathe later

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

I’m not a girl anymore but I remember lonely wandering around the playground. It was a decent first school, so if I went up to a group and asked to join their game I was usually allowed. But I was never invited, and always felt like I was intruding. I had one friend but that was more circumstances than actual friendship. She was genuinely a lovely person, who got on with everyone, very smart, the perfect little girl. But I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t have even noticed me in the first place if our parents hadn’t been friends. My favourite playground memory is when a teacher, not another student, a teacher, taught me how to bend a certain plant so you could fire the head off of it. I spent hours making daisy chains and walking up and down the playground.

In middle school (year 4-year8) I spend my breaktimes in the library, and lunchtimes in weirdly niche clubs (Latin, knitting) with only a few other students. I never had classes with my one friend from first school, so I felt I couldn’t hang out outside of lessons. I did manage to join one group of friends, on the outskirts. But looking back none of them were very nice, they clearly viewed me as the annoying tag along.

When I got to senior school (9-13) I joined cadets, from that formed a friend group who hung out at breaks and lunches. But again I hung out on the outside. There was only three people who I really cared about in that group, but those three were all close friends and I hung around the outside of them. The big group eventually split into two smaller groups and I stuck with those three friends. Then two of them had a falling out and that group dissolved. And I was left alone again. I spent many hours in the library throughout all that, and even more after it fell appart. Year 11 I started hanging out with my cousin and her friends. They were a sweet bunch, but I was still obviously an outsider. 6th form (years 12&13) saw me find a group to hang out with during free periods. But the group had formed years before, so I way again an outsider. Then later I hung out with another group, but again I was an outsider. Because I hadn’t been there when it formed, and I was splitting my time between two groups.

Year 13 it finally improved. I became part of a friend group where I felt I finally belonged, and I was part of the main group, not hanging on the outskirts. All of them were year 11, but I still got on well with them and love them all. I had the other two groups to hang with during frees, but breaks and lunches I spent with the group I was actually part of, not just hanging on the edge of.

Even though I’ve left school, that group is the one I still in contact with. Even if I don’t see one of them for a couple of months there’s no awkwardness in meeting up. We just hug and say hi. And I do regularly meet up with several of them outside of school.

I know most of them are of tumblr, so if you guys see this, thank you for showing me what proper friendship is like. I love you all so much. ♥️