#i weirdly struggled with this for a bit which was why it was originally stuck in the wip folder for a bit

[nessypanda-art]

Albus York; Patron Saint of Bastards, the Sightless, and the Wanderers

Please accept some Albus with religious undertones! Ness doesn't feel like adding color at the moment. Hopefully, they will add it later.......maybe.....they don't want to make those kinds of promises.

Thank goodness GB posted a .png of the bastard's mark because I would have never drawn it by hand, even if it's mostly obscured by Albus.

[mandrakebrew]

Over The Board

Pairing: Sk.ull Fa.ce x Dr Palmer Words: 1,280 Rating: General Content Warning: oc x canon

Masterpost

Summary: The XO visit's Dr Palmer's apartment for the first time, and learns a bit more about them.

Palmer walks through the front door of their apartment, followed by their commander, Skull Face. They had been speaking in Palmer’s office when they noticed it was time to clock out. Instead of ending their time together, the doctor suggested that they continue at their home.

A gray and white cat comes prancing up to them, letting out a meow.

“Hey Sasha, you hungry?” Palmer speaks to it as if it were another human being. It just lets out another meow in response.

“One moment,” They tell Skull Face before they walk over and open a cupboard door to get to a bag of cat food.

The apartment is small, kitchen and living room having no separation at all. Aside from the dishes in the sink, the place is spotless and organized. He notices a pleasant smell, like a mix of smoke and flowers, incense, maybe. Dark paintings decorate the walls, both in terms of color and subject. One appears to be a depiction of hell, in fact. He then spots a large bookshelf over to the left, which held some books, but also held a collection of oddities.

He walks closer and sees what they actually are. Animal skulls, jars with preserved organs, along with preserved tapeworms and roundworms.

Under the shelf of dead things, there sat an impressive display of knives. Including everything from small pocket knives to large combat knives. He picked one of the larger knives up, recognizing it as a soviet NR-40. Skull Face remembers having one stuck in his gut once.

“Do you like that one?” Palmer’s voice brought him out of his reminiscing.

“You collect knives?” While it made sense to him for a doctor to have preserved specimens, everything else struck him as a bit odd. Not to say he didn’t find it interesting himself.

“I do. Not sure why, I just like them.”

“And the dead things?”

“Well, I love insects, and like how skulls look. I also find parasites weirdly fascinating, too.”

Of course they’d have an interest in parasites. He placed the knife that he’d been holding back on the shelf. Then he asked, “You don’t like taxidermy?” He’d seen plenty of deer heads stuffed and hung on walls, along with other animal trophies. There was nothing of the sort here.

“Not really. I adore animals when they’re alive, of course. But there’s something about seeing just their skulls, with everything else striped away.”

“That explains why you took an interest in me, then.” Skull Face says.

“What? No, that’s not- Oh.” They smile, realizing he meant it as a joke. They open their mouth as if to say something, but apparently decide against it, instead glancing back at their shelf. Palmer gestures to a cat skull which sits balanced on its jaws. The bone between where its eye and nose used to be is clearly fractured. “I actually met the cat, who this skull belonged to. It was a stray. Before I could actually do anything for it, a car hit it.”

“And you kept its skull?”

“It was such a sweet kitty. I guess I just wanted to keep it with me.”

It reminds Skull Face of young children who don’t understand death yet and who continue to play with a corpse. The doctor understands, certainly. He just struggles to understand the sentimentality of it. “You collected all of this yourself?” He asks.

“Only some of it. Some were gifts and some I bought.”

He studies the collection again before picking up a small glass jar with a cork stopper. Inside was an insect roughly three inches long.

“I found that cicada in a parking lot of all places,” Palmer explained.

They continue to explain the origins of the rest of the collection. During this, Skull Face glances around the room some more. It was then he notices something. He doesn’t see any pictures of people. It was possible there were some in their bedroom, but knowing about their name change, he was starting to suspect they didn’t have contact with their family. If they have one at all. If that was the case, they both have that in common.

He looked over towards the coffee table that sat in front of the couch. On it sat a black and carmine chessboard. All the pieces set up for a game.

Palmer follows his gaze, and their eyes light up when they realize what he’s looking at. “Do you play chess?” They ask.

“I never had a chance to learn.”

“I could teach you, if you want.”

Skull Face nearly declines, before realizing they probably don’t have anyone to play with. The board being in a place that would make it awkward for two people to actually sit and play. Right now, it looks more like a decoration.

“Very well,” He answers.

Palmer smiles when he answers. They walk over and lift the board, careful of the pieces on top, and move it to a small round table in the kitchen.

Both seated, they begin to explain the names of the pieces, how they move, and the object of the game.

“Want to play now? That’s all the basics and I can explain more as we go. Oh, and the black pieces move first, if you want them.”

“Do you not?”

“Honestly, I prefer to move second.” Palmer admits.

“Alright then,” He gestures with his hand for them to turn the board so the red pieces are in front of him.

Both are silent as they play, save for his questions and Palmer’s explanations. He must not be bad at the game, judging by the looks of frustration Palmer occasionally had. He also notices that when they are focused, they twirl a bit of their hair that wasn’t tied back with the rest.

In the end, Palmer wins. “Want to play again? You did very well for your first time.”

The XO agrees, and the doctor sets the pieces back to their starting positions. He tries to have a plan in mind this time around, moving pieces quickly as he already decided where they’d be going. Palmer takes their time, reading the entire board before making a move. Acting in the short term. This forces him to adapt his strategy as they play.

“Check mate.”

Palmer blinked when he says this. “Seriously?” They scan the board before saying, “Damn, you learn fast.”

He couldn’t help but smirk at their reaction, pride welling within him.

“Buuuuut, you might just have gotten lucky this time.”

“Oh?” He takes their obvious challenge. “Set the board again, then.”

Skull Face tries another plan, while Palmer seems to stick to reacting to his moves as they go. The game went longer this time and left next to no pieces on the board for them to play with. Ultimately, he won this game too.

Palmer put their hands up in surrender. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t a fluke after all.”

He let out a small laugh.

“Thank you, by the way. It was nice to play again.” Palmer says, smiling.

“You’re welcome, Doctor.” He glances at the clock on the wall. Wait, had that much time really passed?

Palmer turned and looked with him. “Oh, wow.”

“I suppose I should be going.” Skull Face stood up. They both have work the next day, after all.

“Well, thanks for visiting. We should do this again soon.” They rattle off formalities. The XO feels like they actually mean it.

“Of course, Doctor.”

Palmer follows him to the door to see him out, handing him his hat once he finished putting his jacket back on. They say their farewells, and Skull Face steps out into the warm night.

[the-mspfa-200-favourites-project]

HACKBENT

Now, for the big reason why I wanted to do this “going back and recollecting all the fanadventures that I hadn’t yet covered in my original journey.” The year is 2013, the big hits of the fandom are still GuideStuck and Heinoustuck, and the juggernaut that Vast Error would become is still a tiny little sapling, wandering around playing with Darts. HACKBENT is the one glaring ominious at my original journey, so glaring I made a small post about it back in the halcyon days when nobody really cared because I had only just started getting to the real heavy-hitters of MSPFA. So, let’s do it. Let’s fix this glaring hole. Let’s read HACKBENT. Which apparently was created by a person who now works at DREAMWORKS???????? Crazy.

Alright, already I’m noticing a couple of tropes that gained traction afterwards, but I guess started here (or was added to the Homestuck Formula by this comic). Mainly, mysterious narrator intro that tells us that, hey, hold on to your hats. We’re not just going to do Act 1 of Homestuck. It’s gonna be a totally different thing. Then immediately after that, the comic THROWS you into a Pesterlog without any warning. “You’re here to see Trolls, Let’s get you straight to the trolls” the comic seems to be saying. Okay so the comic’s like, paced weirdly so far, but I’m kind of getting into it? Mainly because like, wow, there’s so many favourites here and it’s so early in MSPFA’s career as a website that there must be SOMETHING here worth remembering and capturing. But the weird pacing is like, all over the place. Obviously shadowy, mysterious narrator, then immediately pesterlog with two characters that you don’t anything about, then an introduction, check the computer, and suddenly we’re the other character from the initial conversation. It’s…a bit all-over the place, in a way that even Homestuck’s early acts weren’t like (trust me, I checked) and even, like, the other contemporary (relative to this comic’s initial posting, at least) comics aren’t like. Like, Guidestuck mainly stuck to one character at a time. That’s the main formula for most MSPFAs, you stick with one character until you get far enough into their introduction that you introduce another character, and so on and so forth. I guess this is a different way of doing it, and you know what, now that I type this out, this kind of pace of like “introducing characters rapid-fire” is EXACTLY the pace of Homestuck Act 5 Act 1, without the framing around that act of course. So I mean, who am I to complain. If you want to get your audience to meet all your characters and get to the “good stuff” of your comic, this is a pretty nice way of doing things.

You know, I wouldn’t be shocked if HACKBENT was like, around when Vast Error started conceptualizing it’s characters. I’m seeing so many character concepts that would later show up in Vast Error, and reading Hackbent is like the missing piece of the puzzle. “Aha!” I’m saying to myself. “So this must be what all the fanadventures were like back then, before Vast Error rose to prominence.” I mean, I know what they were like back then, I’ve read them. But you know what I mean. Like I said, it’s the missing puzzle piece.

Or maybe it’s just a correlated variable that I’m picking up. Maybe this is just what webcomics in general were like back in 2013. Back before MSPFA really had it’s own vernacular and language, and thus whatever MSPFAs were there were either borrowing from Homestuck’s vernacular or from other works. Whatever. Maybe I’m overthinking this too hard. It doesn’t matter, what matters is that this is very evocative to me and I’m struggling to I guess get a clear picture of where this fits in on the “impacting MSPFA” timeline. Because, like, to sort of quote a cliché, “they don’t make MSPFAs like these anymore.” Because, like, I feel like recently there’s this, almost obessive fascination with OG Homestuck, as people are rediscovering that, hey, Homestuck isn’t all that bad. But back in 2013, people weren’t quite in the “Homestuck sucks” phase that the fandom would later find itself mired in, but people weren’t like, obbessed over the structure and trying to recreate it. It’s more like, “how can we make Homestuck into a model that’s more traditional, more accessible to the general public, more like the other webcomics one might read on the internet?” HACKBENT is very accessible, and wears its heart on its sleeve. You don’t have to guess what archetype each character is, because it’s easy to tell-the pompous one, the conjoined one, the one that’s a ticking time bomb, the dirty one, etc. idk. It’s interesting to see how a niche community grows, is I guess my ultimate point here in this paragraph. I feel like I’m not quite communicating that point as effectively as I might like, but…I’ll stop now.

Okay so Hackbent is fascinating to me in like, pacing and what it wants to do, because it’s so unlike what the other big fanadventures were like at the time (with the exception of Guidestuck, but even then, Guidestuck had a much slower pace to it’s sequence of events, from what I can remember at least), and yet what it’s trying to do would be emulated many more times in the coming years. In Other Words, I really recommend this fanadventure, and I enjoyed it overall! Give it a try.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[adhd-ahamilton]

I got to see Hamilton in Sydney!!

It was a seriously, seriously amazing time – I was always worried that by the time I finally got to see Hamilton on stage (I was even supposed to see it in America last year lmfao) it wouldn’t mean the same anymore. And like, obviously it’s not my hyperfixation anymore. But even like this, it was still an incredible experience! I always figured that the recording would focus more on close-ups and the like because you can’t really see that on stage, but you really can see so much of what’s going on when you see it live and the whole stage is full of things to notice!

I have a lot of thoughts about it (mainly about the Australian cast, though some of these things could just be live performance things)!

Firstly, only two lines had their wordings changed:

* ‘John Adams doesn’t have a real job, anyway’ → ‘Vice president is not a real job, anyway.’ This got a good laugh from the audience; obviously it was changed to preserve the joke, since most Aussies wouldn’t have a good idea of who John Adams was. (I explained the joke when I watched the recording with my parents.)

* ‘Weehawken. Dawn.’ → ‘Jersey. Dawn.’ This was a bit of a surprise, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Aussies also wouldn’t know Weehawken (I didn’t even get that he was referring to a place when I first heard it), while Jersey is very clear because they already made a joke about it. (That one didn’t get much of a laugh though, ofc lol) And it’s actually more consistent because later they do say ‘we were near the same spot my son died, is that why’ so they drive that connection even deeper.

I don’t think there were any other music/staging/choreography differences from the recording – just the acting. But ooh, this really was differently-acted!

Hamilton

I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love his energy and enthusiasm and intelligence and his optimism. But while I loved his dorky version of Hamiton, I have to admit, I didn’t always think it matched up with even the musical’s script, let alone the real person. This Hamilton, though? I kept thinking about all the ways he felt different from the original, and almost every time, it was like ‘yeah, this feels more like what I know of the real Hamilton.’ (Or at least, the Hamilton we wrote about in fic.)

This Hamilton is aggressive and prickly. Up until Helpless, we don’t really see him smile – which makes sense, y’know, with ‘talk less, smile more.’ When he confronts Burr at the beginning of the play, he doesn’t have Miranda’s overly energetic and talkative air, he’s more pushy and too intense. You really feel like, oh, yeah, he’s just walking up to someone on the street and badgering them into telling him about their life story. When he says ‘God, I wish there was a war’ he’s less naive and more so hyperfocused on his goal he doesn’t notice he’s said something super insensitive. When Burr says ‘You wanna get ahead?’ his ‘Yes’ isn’t quiet and firm, it’s more ‘yes obviously, nobody would not want to get ahead, so just hurry up and tell me already.’

And that’s just in the first couple of songs! He continues on like this, with that kind of burning intensity and hot temper, through the musical, though ofc it softens at important times. Importantly, his relationship with Burr is largely based in frustration. When he does ‘My Shot’, it honestly feels less like he’s singing to impress the guys and more like he’s challenging Burr and everything he just told him; I’m sure I saw him glancing back at Burr several times. Likewise, when he tells Burr to go get Theodosia, it’s not questioning – he’s outright saying that if he really loved her, he’d take any risk for her. And in Schuyler Defeated, his ‘Burr?’ isn’t questioning there, either – he’s already angry, he’s just demanding his attention. He genuinely seems to like Burr in a weird way that even he might not understand at times, but for the most part he just seems to find him really frustrating and is always trying to incite him to do more.

This Hamilton also feels very independent, and even aloof. In The Story of Tonight, while the other guys are totally sincere and moved by it all, Hamilton feels sorta… distant. At one point he half walks off until Laurens brings him back, which I think happens in the recording as well, but here I especially felt like that was how he was ‘really’ feeling. Not that he was being manipulative or lying in any way, just that he couldn’t be in the moment because he was still stuck in his head thinking about the future. And the whole way through, he very rarely seems to properly open up – my friend said afterwards that Hurricane hits so much harder when it’s the first time he’s really vulnerable in the entire musical. Which is basically how it happens.

It’s funny – you think of Hamilton and Burr as being contrasting this way, with Burr keeping his cards close to his chest and not revealing what he really wants until The Room Where It Happens, but this Hamilton doesn’t feel far off. But rather than keeping a secret per se, it’s more… he has such an incredibly strong, intense drive, and you’re never super certain where it comes from. And in Hurricane, it suddenly becomes clear – all this time, he’s still caught up in that trauma, and still feels like he needs to fight and scrape just to survive, even when it turns into this self-destructive impulse. Honestly, Hurricane has always been kind of a weird song – he’s been corrupted and is not the most sympathetic beforehand, but then you get this grand slow inspiring song talking about how he suffered in the past and overcame it, but THEN you cut to an almost comedic number about how he fucked everything up for himself and his family. In Miranda’s version, that mood up-and-down always felt a little too jarring. Here it made perfect sense – it was so shocking to see how vulnerable he was at the beginning, and then the song isn’t just repeating what we learned in the beginning, it’s explaining what he’s been keeping deep down all along, but also making it clear that this is manic and awful and destructive.

Part of that is the singing, too. This Hamilton can rap really well, but his singing voice is startlingly gentle and beautiful. It really helps to get across the sincerity of his feelings in Helpless, Dear Theodosia, and as I said Hurricane. On the other hand, there are also times his voice just goes flat, like there are so many emotions he can’t process them – you see that a bit in My Shot when he gets worried (‘I never had a group of friends before’), but it REALLY stings when he says ‘I have so much work to do.’ That hit me way harder than Miranda’s version :(

However, when you combine this Hamilton’s aloofness with that certainty and intelligence, you also get a version of him that is particularly… ironic? He’s always crossing his arms (when he’s not rubbing his face with a palm; those two gestures repeat constantly through the play), and kinda stepping back and Watching people, with a bit of a sense of self-important and even patronising judgement. This is very much ‘So quick-witted!’ ‘Alas, I admit it.’ He definitely does come across like a dude who thinks he is ‘smartest in the room,’ and puts way too much stock in his own opinion. Particularly with Burr whenever they were getting along there was a distinct sense of ‘You know what? I actually think you’re pretty interesting. And my positive judgement is hard to come by, so that’s a big compliment.’ (Burr does not seem to get this weirdly condescending vibe though, lol.) Honestly…. I gotta admit: I really don’t like people like that, haha – though I can’t say it’s entirely inappropriate for Hamilton characterisation. This Hamilton genuinely feels difficult, and that matches up to what happens in the script.

But, the consequence is that after Hurricane, some of the later songs didn’t have quite as much of an impact on me as in the original. In It’s Quite Uptown, I could somehow never quite lose that vision of Hamilton as a bit sarcastic and superior – the way he rubs at his face in grief still just felt a little… put-on and theatrical, like you can hear the frustrated sigh underneath. And this is a song that demands complete, total, unrelenting vulnerability – Miranda’s Hamilton sounds like he’s dying the whole time and that makes the emotional stakes really felt. Maybe it’s that his voice was TOO gentle in this song – Miranda’s more awkward voice actually adds to the exhausted brokenness of the situation?

And finally, when we got to The World Was Wide Enough… Miranda’s speech there in the silence might just be my favourite sequence in the entire musical, so I think anyone else would have struggled to match up to that. It doesn’t help that I was distracted trying to figure out Burr in this scene (which I’ll get to later). It was still beautiful, of course, but ‘What is a legacy?’ just feels so so very Lin-Manuel Miranda and anyone else singing that just doesn’t feel the same.

Overall, I really really enjoyed this version of Alexander Hamilton – as I said, he felt much closer to the actual characterisation I always imagined for him. And this one showed some really fascinating vulnerability in unexpected places, even if the ending didn’t quite land as well for me.

Burr

This Burr was really, really fascinating as well – an interpretation that feels different all the way through, but really pays off at the end with something very striking.

So, something the group of us all agreed was that this Burr felt a lot more like the ‘trust fund baby’ he calls himself. There’s something elegant and refined about him, a rich person who is used to moving through the world as a person to be admired. He’s actually quite graceful, somehow, even though he barely dances? But that also really brings to the fore one particular element – entitlement. (Seriously, my mum is physically incapable of bringing up Burr without mentioning the word ‘entitled’, lol.)

This is a Burr who is used to not having to work for things. He just sort of expects things to fall into his lap, eventually, in contrast to Hamilton. The world will eventually shape to match his desires – that’s how things work. Even in the latter part of the musical, it doesn’t so much feel like he needs to fight and scrape like Hamilton to get ahead, but more like… getting ahead is his birthright, and he just needs to effect that inevitable change into the world. But I’ll get to all that later.

The other thing my friend said was that this Burr feels very much like a preacher’s son, and the more I thought about that the more I agree. There’s something almost… toxically positive about him – the smiles don’t feel two-faced and manipulative so much as maybe like, wilfully ignorant? There’s a very ‘Don’t fret, God will work things out in the end :)’ feel about him, actually. But there’s also something deeply naive in him. Leslie Odom Junior’s version also had some of that genuine lack of understanding – when he muses in confusion over Hamilton in Wait For It, or when his face scrunches in confusion when he says ‘I don’t see why that has to end’ in Schuyler Defeated, and this one does all that, but it feels like an even more inescapable part of his character.

Like, there’s something about this Burr that is just a bit… lame. A bit ‘Hello Fellow Kids.’ But, intentionally!! As I said, he’s a preacher’s son. When he tries to act kinda cool or badass, it just doesn’t quite work. When he interacts with the other guys, even as he smiles wanly and shakes it off when they insult him, you feel like he does still want to be – or even think he is? - part of that group of cool young men. He’s just too… nice, almost. I felt a little more bad during The Story Of Tonight (Reprise) and all. And he seems to take it really earnestly that Hamilton likes him, even if, like I said, there’s a sorta superior quality coming from Hamilton.

He just comes across more naive. Rather than a manipulator, this Burr comes across as more of a shameless Yes Man, who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing. But I also sort of felt like other characters easily saw through him, and Burr didn’t quite realise that. Like with Jefferson, it sorta felt like he thought he was being really strategic but Jefferson was just like ‘sure, this guy works as an ally, even if he’s kinda annoying.’

And when it comes to Wait For It… the song makes it clear that bad things have happened to him – he hasn’t gone through life without suffering – but he hasn’t had the same reaction Hamilton has had. While Hamilton learned nothing will come to him unless he takes it, it feels like Burr learned that things will just… happen to him, good or bad, and he can’t control it. Nothing that has ever really affected Burr has been of his choice – he inherited his position, and then his parents died, and  all of that was just the uncontrollable whim of the universe. Leslie Odom Junior’s version emphasised the ‘I am the one thing I can control’ aspect a bit more – you feel that that version really had worked hard and struggled for the sake of his studies and job, but this Wait For It gave me a very uncomfortable feeling of being trapped. It’s as though everything about him is already decided, and even his efforts aren’t personal decisions so much as just what was natural and expected of him to do.

And that makes the second half of the story feel very different for him. In Leslie Odom Junior’s version, we see him take that self-control to new levels – that realisation that there is something that means as much to him as all of that drive and intensity Hamilton puts out, and it’s his own ambition. That he does want that, and he will have to fight and get his hand dirty to make it happen. As the story goes on, he becomes increasingly desperate and fearful, understanding more and more what it was to be that kid in the hurricane, becoming viscerally aware that terrible things can and will happen to him unless he stops them.

This Burr doesn’t feel like that. His downfall isn’t frantic. It’s very very cold.

In The Room Where It Happens, yes, his ambition crystallises and he changes strategy. But it feels less like an electric jolt, or an earthquake, and more of an epiphany. It’s okay for him to do these things. It’s right. He belongs in the room where it happens. Whatever he does to bring him there is by definition right and good.

He honestly seems to be feeling good through much of it. He’s so smiley when he comes up to Jefferson. He seems even more confused than Leslie’s Burr when Hamilton is actually mad at him for unseating Schuyler. And in The Election of 1800, there’s nothing of the original’s tired, manic energy, like he’s pushing himself to the brink and plastering on a smile to get through it. When this Burr campaigns, he’s energized and charismatic and friendly and filled with almost a kind of serenity. Like this is what he was born to do. His future is almost here – he just needs to reach out a little and it will be in his grasp.

Which, brief aside here while I analyse this haha – so, in Australia, a big part of our culture is what is called Tall Poppy Syndrome. i.e., an instinctive bitterness and hostility towards those who are perceived to stand above others. It’s often described as an aggression towards successful people, but I think that’s only part of it. Australians would describe their culture as breezy and casual and relaxed, but there’s also something disaffected about it, IMO. You’re not meant to ever take anything too seriously. Yes, we all take the piss out of politicians, but it’s sorta ‘lame’ to really seriously oppose them, too. It’s like our culture is stuck in the mindset of a self-conscious fifteen year old, where we’re all sorta lazily cynical and ‘bluntly honest’, but you’re not supposed to ever actually do anything about it all. Caring too much is kinda embarrassing. You’re just supposed to make fun of people and keep living your life. We don’t get the same fundamentalist groups intent on forcing their viewpoint on society like America does, but we also don’t get the same idealists who fervently believe that if we work hard we can make things better. They exist, for sure. But… well, it’s hard for me to imagine an Australian Leslie Knope, you know? (Who, btw, is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time, for reference.)

Watching Burr in The Election of 1800, I was struck by a memory. It was an Australian season of The Amazing Race, and on top of all of the typical relaxed Australian reality show contenders (seriously, I don’t know what the fuck Drag Race Down Under is on, that is the most un-Australian reality show I have ever SEEN), there was one couple that were I suppose Go-Getters. The type who eat healthily (probably vegan) and get up every morning in their athleisure to work out at the gym or go for runs. They were peppy and enthusiastic and they announced with huge smiles that they were going to WIN this! And the other contestants absolutely despised them. At one point, they did something to attract specific ire – honestly, it was probably nothing more than just not helping another duo who were going the wrong way, because in Australian reality shows everyone helps. But after that, multiple groups all ganged up to sabotage them. They took such delight in watching these two cheery people’s optimism flag, so very self-assured in having taught them to ‘not take yourself too seriously.’ Burr, as he was campaigning, reminded me of them.

It’s really telling, I think, that Burr is the one who reminded me a little of Leslie Knope, here – albeit obviously a much darker version. The kind of person who dorkily believes in the system and puts himself out there unselfconsciously, whose wide smiles are unironic and unmocking. In the original, Lin Manuel Miranda actually compared Hamilton to Leslie Knope at one point, with Hamilton’s ‘thirty years of disagreements.’ It’s a very Australian thing, to make Hamilton less earnest and more aloof and sarcastic, to make his anger as much about frustration with other people as about believing in something himself, and to make Burr, by comparison, sincere. Australians don’t really trust sincerity. Honesty is to be framed as an insulting joke, and Burr is just too polite to do that.

When the results come, Burr’s serene smile only very very slowly fades. Before his expression really drops, he turns away. When Your Obedient Servant starts, he’s quiet. The whole time he sings, he’s measured and controlled and entirely certain of himself. He doesn’t have LOJ’s grit or spikes in volume on ‘just to keep me from winning.’ He’s unnervingly quiet.

Even into The World Was Wide Enough this continues. In the original, Burr is outright frantic. He’s desperate and shaking with anger and fear, and when he points at Hamilton’s glasses and the like, you can feel that he actually isn’t sure of himself – that he’s trying to justify this to himself and knows he sounds crazy, but he just can’t pull back now. His voice shakes and goes up and down. When he says ‘we were near the same spot his son died, is that way?’ it rises and when he says ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’ he cracks in real tears, like the mention of Philip reminded him of what’s at stake here, like that really is the reason he’ll kill him. This Burr stays quiet and cold. He doesn’t waver.

If that Burr was desperate, this one feels… and I hope this doesn’t sound like a joke: like a thwarted rich nice guy. The other Burr learned from Hamilton too well, and is replicating his self-destructive energy. This Burr hasn’t learned anything at all. Winning is still his birthright, and Hamilton has stolen that from him. Burr deserves it, and he deserves to punish Hamilton for this. It’s not an explosion of shock, a scrabbling for purchase in this new chaotic world that will doom them both. It’s vindictive. Burr knows what he is doing and he wants to hurt Hamilton for all Hamilton has hurt him.

After the shot, I was surprised to find myself not tearing up as I expected (usually, these two last songs always get me). With the original Burr, his singing is laced with pain as much as regret. When he repeats ‘death doesn’t discriminate’, we feel his sorrow as he fits Hamilton into the same kind of category as his parents and wife, as someone important to him who died. When he says ‘he may have been the first one who died, but I’m the one who paid for it,’ we understand that he’s referring to the depth of his grief. That having to live with knowing he killed Hamilton feels, in this moment, worse than death.

This Burr is still cold. And when he finally gets to it, and says ‘I’m the one who paid for it,’ he looks away. He almost spits. His face is contorted in bitterness. It’s rough and gritty, for the first time in the entire musical.

I can remember it vividly – it was shocking to see, and sends shivers through me to remember. I’d been waiting for that cathartic sadness, but it wasn’t here. This Burr, deep down, didn’t feel for Hamilton, at least in the end. He was pissed off because for once in his life his actions had consequences. Because of Hamilton, he had fucked up his life forever. His worldview had been shattered. And at that moment, that was all he could think about – that resignation and bitterness and anger. All along, maybe, he had been nice only because he’d had no reason not to be. Once it didn’t benefit him, and his pride and entitlement were damaged, he showed who he truly was.

It… was an experience, lol. Honestly I think it was partly lost on me because I so loved the original version and was like working myself up ready for a good cry here, so I didn’t get to just sit and take the full impact – I kept searching for a grief or fear that wasn’t there. But I don’t think this version is bad! It’s a very valid interpretation of Burr, and it was extremely fascinating to see unfold.

If I have one critique, it’s that one kind of problem with the whole Australian show is that the performances lacked grit. I really wanted more edge, more aggression, more intensity of those emotions – something more sharp and shocking. Hamilton delivers this kind of thing at times, especially early on, but ofc it fades away in the end. Jefferson, as I’ll get to, is too smooth-talking while also having that cold serene kind of anger. When we lack both Hamilton’s broken It’s Quiet Uptown and Burr’s frantic ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’, we don’t get those life and death stakes quite as highly. By focusing all of Burr’s anger in one line, I think the rest of the songs didn’t have as much of an impact as I’d like.

But!! I really enjoyed this interpretation, and I’d love to see it again knowing what’s coming!

Eliza

OKAY nobody else is going to get those huge walls of text lmaoooo

Anyway this Eliza wasn’t a super different interpretation than Phillipa Soo’s, but I think she pulled it off at least as well, if not even better?

So, the really big obvious thing about this Eliza is her smile. Her actress has this amazing, big toothy grin that feels so lacking in guile, but also still so comforting. It’s so attention-grabbing and almost impossible not to be affected by. It just screams ‘hey, things will turn out okay, so cheer up! :)’ And it’s something that just comes out on Eliza as if on instinct – she’s wearing it through most of That Would Be Enough, and at the end of Take A Break when she escorts Angelica away, and even in Blow You All Away when she’s comforting Phillip or in flickers when describing Hamilton’s old letters in Burn.

The thing about Eliza as a character is that she’s basically defined by her emotional intelligence. She feels as strongly as Hamilton, but where he is uncontrolled and reckless and both self and other destructive, she is the opposite of all of those things. She’s measured and practical and knows exactly who she is and what she wants at all times. She will sacrifice for others, but it’s because she decides to, and if she is hurt, she will not keep herself in harm’s way. It’s an interesting kind of competence and I can understand in theory why it’s cool to have a female character like that even if I, as a neurodivergent mentally ill woman cannot relate in the slightest and feel sorta awkward to be judged against.

This Eliza nails all of that perfectly. She’s effortlessly charming and soothing whenever she wants to be – in That Would Be Enough, when Hamilton is turned away and putting up all of his sharpest bristles, you can feel her become something soft and liquid and find her way up against him regardless without getting hurt. It’s that strength of character that makes their relationship really work – it’s not necessarily that she completely understands him or is good at ‘handling’ him, but that her certainty of purpose and deliberate, skilful compassion make her perfectly suited to calm Hamilton’s deep down insecurities. She loves him entirely and makes him believe that. And when Hamilton responds with his own intensity, she loves that, and believes in that.

And all of that makes it mean so much more when she steps out of that natural mediator role for a moment. In Helpless she’s adorable, so giddy and excited and so clearly crushing on Hamilton with a youthful energy that somehow doesn’t feel all that naive. As she sings she’s constantly glancing back over at him, it’s really cute haha. But she does feel a bit more vulnerable here – it does feel like she’s silently asking for help from Angelica when they talk. More startlingly, there’s Non-Stop – when she calls out ‘Alexander’, it is SHARP. It’s the same kind of tone Hamilton takes when he calls out to Burr in Schuyler Defeated. It’s a bit startling actually, but in a good way.

That tone, I think, foreshadows Burn. Again, I think this Eliza takes the same tone as Philippa Soo, but this version (maybe just because I saw it live!) embodied it even more – she talks about her own desperation to understand, re-reading their old letters, and cites Angelica as back-up, but when she reaches the mid-point, she stops and seems to think. She weighs up the situation and her emotions. And when she says ‘I’m erasing myself from the narrative,’ it is very deliberate and conscious. She is in control of her fate and she can see herself objectively and this is what is just. Her moral core is impenetrable. She sees long arc of the future that Hamilton and Burr are so obsessed with and she says, yes, this is what should be done.

And then in It’s Quiet Uptown, that same self-certainty is there from the very first word. This whole musical, even at her lowest, Eliza has instinctively brought out that comforting, wide smile. Here, her face is expressionless. If Hamilton’s acting here didn’t quite hit my mark, Eliza’s was spot on. The withdrawal of that earlier warmth is all the colder when there is no doubt within her about it, and nobody can argue she’s wrong in that. When she takes Hamilton’s hand, she still doesn’t smile. It’s sad :(

Of all of the final songs, Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story hit me closest to the original. It’s actually almost jarring to see Eliza ask ‘have I done enough?’ This whole song, we hear a hasty energy to her she’s lacked all musical – the first sign that Hamilton has rubbed off on her, too. But when she asks ‘Will they tell your story?’ it’s still Eliza – this isn’t about a legacy, it’s because she’s still that giddy girl from Helpless who loves him and wants to do everything she can for the people she loves.

(Whenever she and Hamilton see each other but appear to walk past one another, only to circle around and meet in the middle again, I cry lmao;;)

Her gasp at the end is soft and quiet and delighted, as though she just spotted someone in the crowd who she hasn’t seen in years and can’t wait to catch up.

If I have one critique, it’s the lack of grit again. Her scream at Philip’s death wasn’t as wild and destroyed as Phillipa Soo’s, and while I like her gasp, I prefer the original’s shocked, overwhelming joy.

Overall though, she was extremely good! Her charisma was just blinding, but it was in that perfectly ‘mundane’ way you’d expect from Eliza. But that solid, immovable core always shone through. They really sold her relationship with Hamilton, too!

Angelica

This is the one I feel like I have the least to say about. My mum said she was the only character who just couldn’t quite match up to the original, and I don’t really agree, but I don’t have a huge amount to say, either.

This Angelica felt a bit older and more mature than Goldsberry. The original Angelica has a bit of brashness and vivid emotion to her – a bit more out there and exaggerated in her actions and expressions. More bold but also more chaotic. This one was a bit more quiet and considering. Diplomatic, maybe?

I actually worried when I first saw her that she wouldn’t be able to carry Satisfied because she was too confident and capable I wouldn’t be able to believe her vulnerability, but no, she pulled that off perfectly. When she was standing in the dark there in the end, the sadness radiated from her.

I actually got a lot more chemistry between her and Hamilton this time; I always thought I disliked the relationship in that canon because of my grudge against how LMM wrote it, but maybe it’s just that LMM was too old for her lmao. You’d think her quietness would contrast with Hamilton’s pushiness, but if anything it feels like she can just eyebrow-arch off his usual way of getting under people’s skin – when she says ‘you forget yourself’ it’s subtly disapproving, then when he delivers the punchline, it’s like he proves himself enough to earn her respect. Indeed, their mutual aloofness actually suits them both really well. You can just imagine them working together, quietly sharing their judgements on everyone else in the room around them. They’d be a terrifying power couple, and that really connects up to her advice in Take a Break.

I don’t have as much to say about the rest of the musical though. (actually IDK if that’s all partly just because by the end my ADHD brain had to work a lot harder to keep up, lol.) Her piece in The Reynalds Pamphlet did the job, and her singing in It’s Quiet Uptown was beautiful.

I guess, if I had to contrast them, the original Angelica felt more spirited and aggressive – very ‘you want a revolution? I want a revelation!’ - while this one felt more like the settled head of the family who already had her place but understood the world perfectly and knew she’d have to pick and choose what she wanted most. (...spoken like that she sounds like a big contrast to Burr, funnily enough?)

Lafayette/Jefferson

So not too much to say about Lafayette – the guy pretty much did him the same as Daveed Diggs, and pulling that off is very impressive but there isn’t too much to analyse here. If anything the Lafayette felt slightly less bright and cheery than the original, which may have been done to contrast with Jefferson.

Jefferson, on the other hand, was quite different. Diggs’ version is very loud and kinda abrasive and arrogant – always smiling and bouncing but with something clearly malicious lying behind all of that. He’s got a harshness to him, deliberately intimidating and surprisingly authentic in what he reveals of himself. He’s a villain character who’s fun to watch because he’s having fun himself and you gotta admire his balls.

This Jefferson is much more smooth and manipulative – maybe taking over from what Burr sometimes delves into? When he first appears, he plays to the crowd, encouraging the cheers, but it’s less arrogance and more like, he’s a celebrity putting on a show. He’s friendly and cheerful all through What’d I Miss?, disarmingly enjoyable to watch. He’s someone who knows the crowd and likes the crowd and is very very good and getting what he wants from the crowd without making it obvious he’s doing that. He’s definitely the type of #relatable celebrity fans would really want to defend.

But Hamilton represents a very clear change to his status quo. He starts off singing What’d I Miss? just in a fun, conversation-starting way as a rhetorical question, but after Hamilton introduces himself, he seems genuinely taken-aback. His last ‘What’d I miss?’ sounds like a genuine question, like, ‘wait wtf what’s going on here all of a sudden?’

And then we get the Cabinet Battles. Despite the above, Jefferson starts off his argument oozing with relaxed confidence. He doesn’t need to take any of this seriously – it’s already in the bag! Everyone loves him and as long as he makes some nice jokes and smiles disarmingly enough, he’ll always get what he want. And then Hamilton starts talking. And he’s pushy and hostile and sarcastic and mocking and angry and superior. And the whole time, Jefferson stands straight and Stares at him. We get none of Diggs’ ‘Haha, this guy is a riot! :D’ type of energy – this Jefferson is deeply displeased, and he is watching very, very carefully to take stock of the situation so he can put an end to it.

It’s actually really well done IMO – when the crowd oohed and ahhed, it felt like a 50/50 of ‘what the hell, people aren’t supposed to DISAGREE with Jefferson!’ and also ‘holy shit this guy is acting like an actual obnoxious child who needs to stfu right now.’ Both Jefferson’s easy entitlement and Hamilton’s unhelpful abrasiveness really got across.

In the second battle, Jefferson is much more careful. Whether it’s because he isn’t underestimating Hamilton anymore or because he cares much more about this, there’s an unamused urgency underlying everything he says. He still tries to be friendly and charming and diplomatic, but his smile drops often. This issue is important and he is not going to back down on it. It’s actually still not quite as immaturely insulting as Hamilton – more like, ‘can we stop humoring this asshole kid already and do something we very much need to be doing?’

(Also fun fact: in The Room Where It Happens, when we get to Jefferson’s version of events, Hamilton’s ‘I had nowhere else to turn’ is SO fake and sarcastic it was really funny, like even the Hamilton in Jefferson’s head can’t bring himself to actually say that sincerely.)

So, when we get to Washington On Your Side, he’s cold. At the time, he contrasts well with Burr, who is all smiles and surprisingly relaxed. This Jefferson is more like Angelica, quietly analysing the situation and slowly coming to a plan. The difference between cold, planning Jefferson and smooth-talking Jefferson is also great.

Because of all this, he has less of the really comedic stuff the original Jefferson got, with the exaggerated expressions and movements – in We Know, he’s more struck dumb by everything than the more over the top reactions Diggs did. But the controlled coldness contrasts with Hamilton better – it makes sense that he was the one who successfully connived himself to the top. And we get much more of that contrast between public and private Jefferson that is one of the interesting real-world meta statements, where who is was to the people and who he actually was were very different.

…….I think I had some kind of impression of ‘because I’m the president’ but I can’t remember what it was anymore. Hrm.

Anyway: enjoyed!!

Mulligan/Madison

So, how I’ve been saying the show lacked grit? I honestly think it might’ve all just collected in Hercules Mulligan lmao – obviously his parts are meant to be bold and brash and powerful, but these ones hit even harder than usual. His part in The World Turned Upside Down was just so Loud I could feel it in my chest! Great performance, I loved it!

Madison was very very different naturally, but also very different from the original version? While the original Madison felt tired and a bit disgruntled, like he was exhausted by Jefferson’s in-your-faceness and just wanted to get this done so he could get back to his work, his one felt much happier to be there. This Madison felt like he actually saw himself as Jefferson’s teammate, like he considered himself part of the show and was happy (even smug) to be helping out. When Jefferson passes him the microphone, rather than say ‘France’ with an irritated expression as if to say ‘everyone already knows this, just get on with it already’, it feels more like this Madison already rehearsed this with Jefferson deliberately. He calls out ‘France,’ as though it is some incredible zinger, like he’s been given the mic drop here. It’s pretty cute haha!

Overall this Madison felt a lot younger. Talking afterwards my mum mentioned that Mulligan’s role is hard because he has to switch to playing ‘an old man’, and was pretty surprised when I said Madison was actually the same age as Hamilton. This version felt a lot more age-appropriate. He still gets sick and starts coughing (and it feels a lot meaner when Hamilton makes fun of him! The dude was just so happy to be here – let him have his zingers!!), but aside from that he thrums with nervous energy behind Jefferson, like he’s ready to help out anytime he’s needed.

In all, he kinda feels like he fulfils that certain comedic henchman trope a bit? It really comes together with the ‘Can we get back to politics?’ ‘:’( please!!’ exchange. Madison isn’t made fun of, per se – it’s not like he really does enough in the script to get that kind of attention. But he’s just a bit funnier and more sympathetic, while also strangely feeling more like he and Jefferson are an actual team. (I mean, Jefferson hands him the mic as though he’s setting up a zinger, too. They’re both a bit ridiculous!)

Laurens/Phillip

Okay, this was one I was really curious about, for obvious reasons – LMM always sorta made it out that since he never included any of the Hamilton/Laurens stuff in the script, he kinda tried to act it in there more. In Story of Tonight or Ten Duel Commandments, or even briefly in the opening song, there’s meant to be a closeness that hints, however subtle, at that relationship.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get that at all here.

Laurens’ casting surprised me at first – he’s super short and extremely baby-faced, to the point that I wondered if he wasn’t played by a cis man. (His actor is a man, though, though ofc I wouldn’t know if he’s cis or not.) I was kinda confused about that all through the first act… until I got to the second act and, uh, remembered. But despite this – perhaps because of it? - he is an absolute firecracker. He’s hot-headed and rough and determined and every bit the young impassioned soldier.

He’s a bit more naive in the early songs – he seems genuinely friendly with Hamilton in The Story of Tonight, and you feel like he really does just like him from the moment he hears Non-Stop – but like I said, Hamilton is still pretty closed-off through all of that, so… it doesn’t really feel mutual. Hamilton likes him fine, but it doesn’t feel like he cares as much as Laurens does.

In Satisfied, he indeed seems super drunk, but it’s more like he’s just too young and drinking too much at a party than anything. The only time I really felt any particular chemistry between him and Hamilton actually comes from Story of Tonight Reprise – when Hamilton wanders off to speak with Burr, in sincere friendship, and Laurens comes over and starts ribbing Burr about his girl with almost malicious energy, it did sort of feel a little like he was jealous, if only that Hamilton and he had been talking so easily.

Finally, we get to Stay Alive. There, Hamilton and Laurens are just so angry and disgusted with Lee that they don’t really have room for anything else. It’s all very focused and determined and Manly, without any time for something softer or close between them. And I’m not sure how to feel about that. Laurens’ revulsion for Lee is historical record, and it says a lot about him and his values that that was so important to him. But there are other important parts of Laurens – that worry and fear and insecurity inside him, that ended up being so damaging to him. In such a limited script for him, ‘Alexander, you’re the closest friend I’ve got’ is really his one chance to show some of those emotions before he dies. Instead, Laurens never really gets to show that vulnerability, and I worry that it makes him feel too much like a ‘generic soldier character.’

I wonder if it’s because this Laurens looked so youthful that they sort of overcompensated, and felt the need to make him extra manly to make it clear he belonged there despite his appearance. But it sort of felt a bit too… macho for me. Nowhere to be found is that 18th century romantic friendship. Instead, it’s been replaced by a more WWI era Comrade and Comrade type deal. They’d die for each other, but would they write romantic letters to one another? And I think this is also unfortunately pretty Australian – real emotion is lame!! The only acceptable emotion is fucking hating your boss, and challenging him to a duel with your squadmate to get him what he deserves.

Well, I’m reading too much into it all, lol. But I always felt like the original Laurens barely got to show much of himself as it was, and this one felt even less so, unfortunately.

His final scene – is it We May Not Live To See Your Glory? - is done well, though. Again, Laurens just sorta feels like a generic young soldier, but ‘idealistic soldier who died too young’ is moving enough on its own. And in one of those rare moments, Hamilton really does feel shaken and vulnerable. ‘I have so much work to do,’ as I said, hurts – so lifeless and unlike him. Like nothing could process those emotions in him now, or express them.

Philip, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. First of all, yeah – having a shorter, younger-looking actor makes that Take a Break scene WAY less awkward, haha. It wasn’t even funny, it was just like ‘oh huh this just kinda looks all right?’ And the actor did really well playing a kid! He looked like a completely different person there, which is really good.

And then we get to Blow You All Away, and hoo boyy. If Laurens had been excessively confident, Phillip oozes uncertainty with everything he does. When he flirts with the girls ‘when I come back we’ll all strip down to our socks’ he manages to pull off the cocky act but in basically every other line you can see and hear the ‘a-am I doing this right? I’m not screwing this up, am I?’ radiating off of him. He definitely believes he’s doing the right thing – when he says ‘you talk about my father I will not let it slide’ there’s no hesitation – it’s just that he very clearly isn’t sure if he’s up to the task of doing it.

It was sorta interesting, actually – I think the original Phillip was more naively overconfident and reckless, and only had an attack of the nerves after he got himself into the duel. But – and this might just be me projecting here, lol – when this Philip confronts Eacker in the theatre, I got a real sense of like… ‘??? can I do this here? Where are you meant to threaten duels???’ and when Eacker is like ‘piss off, I’m watching this show now’ he seemed to wilt a lot, and straight up froze for a second or two, like he really didn’t know what to do at that point. And then of course when he talks to Hamilton he’s really worried…

And then his death. Somehow, I never used to cry much when this happened – it’s obviously very sad, but it didn’t manage to hit the right heartstrings to make crying, even in the recording. But oh god, this one was just awful… Even as he’s dying, Philip is still just so desperate for approval, like he’s so scared his parents will be mad at him for screwing it up, and Eliza is trying so hard to reassure him before he dies… I cried a lot :(

So overall, I really liked this Phillip, even if I don’t necessarily think it’s an improvement to the original. Laurens I kinda preferred the original, though this was still an interesting interpretation that gave me a lot to think about!

Washington

The guy did well! He has what Washington needs, and that’s a stature. When he’s on stage, your eyes are just naturally drawn to him. Even when he’s not doing much, he’s still a little intimidating. He has presence!

And in fact, this actor had an interesting quirk where the whites of his eyes could be seen easily? In Right-Hand Man, as he’s striding around at the center of the stage, his eyes just looked white, and it drilled in that slightly manic, crazed intensity underlying his strict, rigid rapping and self-control. It have the whole thing a really great effect.

But this Washington also had a sort of almost… slight fem-ness to him, that I didn’t get as much from the initial? It’s funny how during One Last Time, I suddenly got this vivid though, ‘oh, it’s like he’s a cool supportive teacher.’ Which… obviously?? Haha. Like he’s clearly a mentor to Hamilton all the way through! But it’s that specifically teacher description I really felt all of a sudden, that he was warm and approachable and gentle at heart, despite everything I said above lol.

Like, I feel like this Washington was just a bit less stoic than the original? Slightly more expressive and less stern. When he says ‘I’m from Virginia, so watch your mouth,’ in the original, it sounded like he was genuinely kinda offended? It was ‘watch your mouth’ as in ‘don’t disrespect my home state.’ But in this one, Washington sorta grimaces a little theatrically and says it more incredulously, like he’s actually saying ‘you wanna maybe try thinking about who you’re talking to before you say that shit, son?’ It’s more of a warning – less that he’s upset and more that other people would be, so he should really try thinking before he speaks.

He also still does the part in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story when Eliza says she spoke out against slavery and he kinda stumbles and stares and then looks down in shame, given the real Washington’s actions.

I liked him! I felt a little more warmly to him in the end than the original, but that might just be a product of seeing it live.

Peggy/Maria

Okay so I don’t really have anything to say about Peggy, which had basically always been the case, hah. :’) I mean, I think this version made the transformation between her initial wariness vs her later excitement more clear? But that is very likely a live show thing.

Maria, though!! Honestly? I was never really a fan of the original Maria’s performance. She just feels too much like a cliched seductress archetype, and while you can argue that that’s the role she plays in the story, especially since there’s the uncertainty over whether or not she was deliberately setting Hamilton up, it just feels too on the nose. It makes it harder to believe Hamilton didn’t know what was up the moment he saw her, which I don’t think is intentional. And it makes me feel bad for the real Maria Reynolds.

But this one was very different – much more vulnerable. When she first talks to Hamilton, she’s not doing a sexy pout and throaty singing, she’s just sorta… quiet and monotone and lost, much like Hamilton gets when he’s too emotional as well. Like she’s in shock and truly has nowhere to go is just sort of crumpling as a person. And when she propositions Hamilton, again it feels sincere – she just wants him to stay.

And after he talks to James Reynolds (just as perfectly, theatrically assholish as in the original), that continues. When he confronts her, she genuinely seems desperate and scared and upset. I felt so, so sorry for her that I was yelling in my head right then ‘you can’t just leave her now!’ at Hamilton – and then immediately remembered what that’d mean… it’s a much more gripping situation.

And then in the end, James Reynolds walks off and claps, and Maria just stops, face and body entirely stoic, and follows after him in silence… Is that an indication it was all an act from her? Or is it that she’s so scared of him that she totally closes up and can’t cry, can’t show any kind of emotion or weakness around him, and just has to try and be a silent and flawless wife? No matter how you interpret it, it’s chilling.

Oh, and IDK if this is done in the recording, but in The Reynolds Pamphlet, she gets given one, too, and her look of just… upset/disgust is also really painful. At the end they say ‘his poor wife’, but who thinks about poor Maria?? :(

I still wouldn’t say that this is an accurate adaptation of the real events, since I think that gets right into the script and structure of Hamilton in ways that a regional performance just can’t really make better. But this version is at least better. It plays Maria with more dignity, I think, than making her into a sexy bombshell, even if that bombshell act does get subverted in the original as well. This one feels significantly more sympathetic.

King George

He was great!! He was played by an older actor who seems to have done a lot of serious Shakespearian plays, which of course makes him absolutely perfect – both in that he could flawlessly depict that pompous old privileged Brit, but also in that he probably has a good backing in comedy and political satire :P He was clearly having the time of his life playing to the crowd – throughout all his time on stage he was constantly alternating between doing one or two lines very serious and mostly straight, before doing something absolutely hilarious. That back and forth worked extremely well!

Also I never saw it properly on the recording but when he gets up and dances in the middle of the stage during the Reynolds Pamphlet?? AMAZING.

Obviously, Johnathon Groff is his own personality and is friends with LMM and brings all of that unique stuff to the table that nobody could replicate. But this actor was just as much fun to watch, and does have the added benefit of really looking and sounding the part.

Final Thoughts

I’d really love to hear other people’s thoughts on this run, especially from the perspective of it being an Australian cast/audience – I really hoped the booklet would include at least a piece or two from someone who worked on this run, but it did not. (In fact, it was one of the scantest musical books I’ve seen? I don’t regret buying it as a souvenir of course but usually they have at least one or two interesting pieces of new content aside from just backstage pics…)

What really sticks out to me is the structure of it all. Hamilton is definitely the central character that brings everything together through the first ¾, but around The Room Where it Happens Burr starts to take over bit by bit, allowing him to keep up the energy as Hamilton falls back further and further into becoming both less of a hero but also more quiet and passive. By The Election of 1800, Burr is giving us all the energy – until the end of The World Was Wide Enough, when he too falls back and Eliza takes over.

Given this, this Hamilton did an incredible job throughout most of the performance – he had amazing chemistry with every other character and really exemplified that scrappy, intelligent, driven, but aggressive and difficult character that never quite shined through in LMM’s performance for me. Burr’s more subtle performance complements that well, and he even arguably outdoes Leslie Odom Junior in The Election of 1800. However, after that I think his quieter acting and singing sort of fails to fill the hole Hamilton left behind, reducing the climax a bit of its energy. Thankfully, Eliza was able to bring that all back for her final number.

It also strikes me that this performance is a bit less teary, at least from the men. Eliza, Angelica, and Maria all bring out that vulnerability and the sadness of their positions wonderfully – a great improvement in Maria’s case, for me. However, Burr’s The World Was Wide Enough severely downplays the sincere regret angle, while Hamilton never quite hits the right notes on It’s Quiet Uptown. However, Hurricane and Phillip’s performance in Blow You All Away definitely hit that fear and panic leading to self-destruction. (Interesting I guess that Burr doesn’t also seem more fearful in The World Was Wide Enough?) Is that also a gendered expectations thing, perhaps?

Either way, I’m extremely glad I was able to see it if only for Hamilton’s performance – honestly, maybe the reason it seemed to lose a lil steam was just that Hurricane was so good everything else failed to follow it, haha. Burr also absolutely fascinated me here, too, and that was so much fun to see play out in real time!

Hamilton will be coming to Melbourne next, and I’m not sure yet if I’ll be able to go there but I’d really like to! It’d be really fun to test out these expectations/conclusions of mine with a fresh viewing, as well as see any other new cast changes/interpretations…!

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 4.8}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.6k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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It was the middle of April when Robin finished the very last of Snape's book collection. The day she returned the very last book to him was both a sad and an exciting one, for Robin wasn't entirely sure what he would give her to do next. To her disappointment, he merely remarked that she had read everything he could give her at the present time, and then continued with his work as if it was nothing special. Maybe it wasn't… but somehow Robin had hoped for a little praise at least, if not a prospect of what to do next. Thus she stuck to doing class assignments and readings for a while (she managed half a week, which was already more than anticipated), until at last she just couldn't handle the lack of private studies anymore.

She had already finished most of the library books about potions, herbology, and magical creatures, which is why she decided to find a new topic to read up on rather than trying to find more books on the topics she already had studied profoundly. Thus she started reading all the books about the dark arts the library had to offer, but more out of interest in the mysteries that hid behind the generic title than out of preference for the correlating class. And really, it was a weirdly broad topic. Everything that wasn't allowed or was dangerous to use fell into this category, but more often than not Robin wondered why exactly something was considered 'forbidden' or at least unappreciated to use. Sure, most of the things described in her newest reads were potentially harmful for someone involved, but honestly, so were kitchen knives, or golf clubs, or cars. And nobody bothered forbidding them either.

That's the only revelation she's had by the time exams rolled around, and the exact point where she found herself stuck at now as she sat in the potions classroom like always, on a Friday evening in the second week of June. Not even a week before she would have to go back to her parents' house for the summer.

"Do you have a minute?" Robin asked as she looked over at Snape to her right with an inquiring expression. Some time in March she had started sitting at the side table next to his desk rather than at her usual seat in the students' rows when she came here for coffee and work at night. Admittedly, she'd occasionally been sitting there way before March already, whenever students were in the classroom for detention, but somehow after one particularly detention-heavy week in March, she hadn't bothered going back to her original seat, and he hadn't bothered asking her to. That's how she came to sit at the table next to his desk permanently now, in the evenings at least.

"Of course. I wanted to talk to you about a certain issue anyway, but feel free to start." He replied and closed the book he'd been reading for the last hour to meet Robin's gaze.

"You probably noticed that I've been reading up on the whole 'dark arts' thing over the last weeks, except for the week studying for my exams that is, and well… I just don't understand why there is such a thing as dark arts in the first place." Robin shrugged and closed her own book as well. "It's just more spells that happen to be a tad more dangerous than others. But the danger is just a potential, isn't it? I mean… the magic isn't good or bad in itself, it's the person using it who determines that. And calling it 'dark magic' is kind of taking the responsibility of making this choice from the witch or wizard who makes it."

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean…" She sighed and paused for a second to think of a good example. "Take a kitchen knife, for example. It's just a tool in itself, and only because some people use it to stab others doesn't make it inherently bad, nor do the people who use it to chop vegetables make it an inherently good thing. It has the potential to be both, and if one isn't aware of that, there always is a danger in its use."

"I agree."

"So why do we learn in school that there is good magic and bad magic? Why don't we learn to work with the responsibility of dealing with a neutral magic that leaves it entirely up to us how to use it?" That was the actual question Robin had been meaning to ask, but it had taken a while to find a way to phrase it.

"Because it is easier to keep people on a predetermined path if you map it out in front of them. Tell them what you think is good by giving them something that is bad in contrast, and the majority will let it guide them according to your very wish. That is how politics work, and as despicable as it is, the school is a political issue no matter what the headmaster says. Also, the dunderheads we teach couldn't deal with such a responsibility."

"That doesn't sound like an answer a professor would normally give." Robin smiled in amusement at his last comment.

"Your questions aren't something a student would normally ask." He returned with a shrug and an expression that made Robin chuckle.

"I guess you're right about that. And I do see your point. Thanks for the honest answer." She sighed and felt like he was probably right. What is taught and what isn't was all politics… and that meant it didn't always make sense. Huh, what a sad end for her private studies of the mysterious dark arts.

"Of course I'm honest with you, there would be no point in anything else."

"So… what issue did you want to talk about?" Robin inquired a few seconds later and tried not to showcase her curiosity all too much.

"There have been rumors for a while now…" He started, and Robin grew nervous immediately. Rumors were always bad, and somehow she always seemed to be entirely oblivious to them. Most of them at least.

"If it's that one that I failed transfiguration, that is entirely made up! I got an 'Exceeds Expectations' on this year's exam, and McGonagall was merely making a joke when she said she would give me a 'Dreadful' if I kept going over the maximum essay length!" Robin blurted out before Snape even had a chance to continue with what he meant to say.

"That is a rumor I have been entirely unaware of, but seeing as I know of your grades, it is also entirely irrelevant." He replied with a doubtful expression. "Is that the only rumor you have heard of?"

"Well, yeah…" Robin shrugged and looked down at her table as she bit her bottom lip. "Recently, yes." Maybe she shouldn't be so exclusively concerned about her own issues and actually start taking notice of the real world more often.

"There has been talk for a good two weeks about an unofficial end of term celebration. A party, hosted by a group of sixth years for the entire house and whoever is invited. Obviously the professors are not to know of this happening, but I like to pay attention to the ongoings within the student community. You don't happen to know anything more about the issue, do you?" His eyebrows rose in question, and for some reason Robin felt as if he seriously expected her to know what he was talking about.

A Slytherin party everyone was invited to… well, everyone except for Robin as it seemed. She didn't usually care about these things, but somehow it hurt a little nonetheless that absolutely nobody had bothered inviting her. Did her roommates know about this? Or were the first years generally excluded? She had absolutely no idea, she hadn't even heard of it at all. Hell, even Snape knew more about it than she did! A burning shame with a hollowing tail of pathetic sadness crept from the pit of her stomach up to her heart and wrapped it in a veil of unwanted shadows.

"I… didn't even know there was a party at all. This is the first time I hear about it." She finally managed to reply, but her voice was way too quiet for her own liking. Really, this shouldn't even be bothering her! "I would tell you if I knew anything about it, I promise. I'm sorry…"

For a moment, Snape actually looked fairly uncomfortable upon her words, and Robin wondered if she had said anything stupid yet again. But she had no idea what it could be, and therefore she simply looked down at her book in silence. She would like to help him, really… but there was little she could do now.

"Do you even speak to the people in your year at all?" He asked after a moment, honestly inquiring rather than scolding her.

"I do talk to Theresa usually…" Robin shrugged. "Only about class issues though. Some other people outside of my own house too. But the only students in Slytherins I talk to are Cas and Jorien, and while they're both extraordinarily bright and truly lovely girls, they're far from being familiars to me. Maybe they know more about the party than I do though. I could ask them, if you would like."

"There will be no need for that. I was hoping you knew about it, but otherwise I have no intention to intervene."

"You don't?" Robin looked up with a frown. "But aren't they breaking a bunch of rules?"

"I would assume so. However as long as they stay within the castle and do not wander… I usually ignore occurrences like this."

"Why?"

"Because there isn't even half a week of term left, and I would rather spend that in peace and quiet than with fifty students in detention. As long as they do not cause or suffer any harm, I let them proceed and get it over with."

"Then why did you ask me about it in the first place?"

"I was wondering what kept you from attending, seeing as you still were here and not on your way. And I was curious about the specifics of the event, which I unfortunately have not had the luck to overhear."

"Even if I had known about this stupid party, I probably wouldn't have gone anyway." Robin shrugged with a badly feigned indifference. "I'm no fan of those events, nor would I have been appreciated there as it seems."

"Then why does it upset you that you were previously unaware of it?"

"I'm not upset." Robin shot right back, but upon his 'who are you kidding' expression, she rolled her eyes and gave a truthful response. "I mean… yes, I'm inattentive to these things sometimes, as I don't particularly care about the students' world, but if even the professors know about this stupid party… I just can't imagine that I merely missed the talk about it, which obviously has been going on if you could overhear it. Which in return means that I was intentionally excluded. That's just… I don't know. I shouldn't be upset about it, I don't even like these people. It's unreasonable to be sad about it."

"Emotions usually are unreasonable." He mused in return and Robin found herself nodding on instinct. Emotions are unreasonable, but they are an unavoidable pain in the butt nonetheless.

"So… that party is tonight?" Robin asked then, for she didn't know what else to say.

"It should be happening right now, however I am unaware of the specific location. You are intelligent though, certainly you could find out where it takes place."

"Oh, I wasn't asking because of that. I know when I'm not welcome. And as I said, I don't care about parties. Or crowds. Or other people. I'm quite happy with the company I have." She stated and hoped that it wouldn't make him uncomfortable again, but he just listened to her words with the usual undivided attention, which brought a small smile to Robin's lips as she added, "The only thing I miss is the-..."

"Music?"

"Yes!" Her smile widened to a visible degree where it reached her eyes as well. "How did you know?"

He didn't reply, and only kept looking at Robin for a moment in silence accompanied by an expression of contemplation. Finally he turned away, and stood up. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Robin frowned as she complied though and followed Snape out of the classroom, which he locked behind them before heading down the hallway.

"You will see." Was the only and very much cryptic reply he gave, and somehow Robin didn't feel as much nervous about the situation as purely excited. She didn't bother hiding her smirk, and only ignored the renewing waves of pleasant tingles on her skin as she followed him up the stairs and through the empty castle.

They passed by any location Robin could've imagined Snape to lead her to, and only moved from one story up to the next until they arrived on the seventh floor. What the hell was he up to? Robin didn't have an inkling, and only grew even more confused when he told her to stay standing in the middle of a random crossing of hallways. But she obeyed without questioning him (he wouldn't have given an answer anyway) and stood frozen to the spot as she watched with a humored frown on her face how he paced up and down the hallway in front of her. Upon her chuckles however, she received a small glare that made her bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from straight out laughing. Whatever he was doing, it was both irritating and amusing.

Both sentiments faded from Robin's mind in a moment's notice however once a large door started materializing in the very wall she stood facing. It was almost as large as the one leading to the great hall, but undoubtedly more ornamented, and Robin's lips parted as she stared at the unusual occurrence in awe.

"After you." He said in manner that for him was unusually smug, and Robin's heart skipped a beat as she moved to open the door indeed.

What lay beyond it was undoubtedly the most peculiar and yet the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. A room larger than she could fathom currently, larger than she ever would've imagined to be found inside this castle, filled with mountains upon mountains of various objects stacked upon each other in complete randomness. The things found in here were absolutely overwhelming in their incredible amount and diversity, and Robin didn't even know where to look first as she stood helplessly frozen in the doorway. It was rather overwhelming indeed.

"Welcome to the room of requirement, or in this instance, the room of hidden things." Snape said in a more quiet tone now, as he steered Robin further into the room by her shoulders so that he could close the door behind them.

"What on earth is this?" Robin wondered as she let her eyes travel over the mountains of objects. There was one of everything in existence in here, she was absolutely sure of that. Maybe she was just dreaming all of this. She didn't care to wake up though.

"A mystery, and a secret. The room of requirement is a peculiar piece of magic, as it turns into whatever someone needs the most in the instant. It can be made to appear in the way you just witnessed, by having a clear picture of what it is one needs in mind. The room of hidden things is one of the countless forms the room of requirement can take on, and it has been used to hide and store any kind of thing for centuries."

"It's absolutely incredible, it's…" Robin replied quietly, too awestruck to even bother hiding the sentiment, and finally unfroze enough to saunter through the mountains of things. "Something so entirely impossible that it just has to exist."

"Indeed. It is almost impossible to find by accident, and the vast majority of people is unaware of the existence of this room in the first place. I would like for it to remain that way."

"I won't lose a word about it. I promise." Robin finally could tear her eyes off the room to look at Snape once more. "Why did you bring me here though? If it's such a secret, why take the risk?"

"You are no risk, I am well aware of that." He replied easily, and Robin felt an immediate sense of pride in that. "I brought you here because in a place where there is everything, there is always what you are looking for."

Before Robin could ask what exactly he meant by that, he spoke a few more muttered words and then the deep silence of the huge hall was replaced by a crackle, and finally by the sound of music. Robin looked around to find a possible origin of it, but the source remained hidden from her sight. The sound alone sufficed to brighten her smile though, and she closed her eyes to simply listen in contentment. It had been so long since she had gotten to enjoy music without the disturbing sounds of people talking or dancing or moving… and music at Hogwarts generally was scarce anyway. So now, for a long while, she simply stood there in between the mountains of fascinating things with her eyes closed and let the sound wrap around her senses. She breathed in the music like the cold air of the night that didn't exist in here, for time wasn't a dimension of relevance in this place. Everything about this room was timeless, ancient and modern at once, and Robin felt like she had entered a different reality beyond the limits of imagination. An impossible reality indeed.

It was one of those rare moments where she felt flooded and filled up by an infinite number of highly intense emotions that blended together like colors to form a blinding white light. A moment where an unimaginable intensity of feeling didn't cause her to implode into darkness but to explode into blissful light. A moment she wouldn't forget. At last she opened her eyes again, and found that Snape was looking at her with a doubtful expression yet again.

"What?" She asked with a smile, frowning at him in return.

"Are you alright?"

"Are you concerned?"

"Yes."

"Wow… good to know that me being happy is such a scary sight." Robin let out a laugh she couldn't help and shook her head to herself. "Sorry, sarcasm isn't an appropriate answer to honesty. I'm very alright, actually. As close to perfect as I could be, I believe. Thank you for that."

"Get over it already, will you... It was merely music and a dusty old room, hardly something to be so very delighted about."

"You cannot seriously deny that you did something nice by bringing me here. It's not even possible to deny!" Robin laughed again and didn't even care if he scolded her for it.

"I can try." He replied with a glare and a scowl, and Robin smiled to herself as she looked down at the ground in a defeat as feigned as his distaste. Maybe she should help him with the trying.

"So, if you didn't bring me here to be nice, what did you hope to find in here then? Maybe I could help looking for it." She suggested with an innocent smile she actually could convey for once, even if only due to the fact that she would seriously love to have a look around.

"I shall see to that myself. Go ahead and look around if you wish to though, but I ask you to be careful and not to touch anything. Many of the objects in here are more harmful than they look."

"Well, if something happens to me, you could just leave my body in here and nobody will ever find it. Problem solved." Robin shrugged with a nonchalant expression, but a smirk came onto her lips nonetheless as Snape rolled his eyes in return.

"If you keep sassing me, I might actually consider that." He replied and turned to walk off without another glance, and Robin's jaw dropped in sheer amusement. Then, with the biggest grin on her face, she went to take a look around at last.

… … …

It was after almost an hour of searching through stuff by herself that Robin found something that made her stop and stare. Not because it was particularly noticeable or interesting in itself, but because it existed in the first place. That was odd enough to give Robin some serious chills. Maybe she should tell Snape about it… or better yet, show him. Because nobody would believe it otherwise.

"Uh, professor?" She called into the open room in the hopes that he would hear her, wherever he might be. "I… found something you should take a look at."

"Is it urgent or merely interesting?" He asked from somewhere off to the left, and Robin thought for a second.

"Well, urgent is the wrong word, but I don't think I want to leave this room without you seeing this. It's… remarkable." She finally replied with an insecure frown to herself, and at the object in question.

"Could you be even more imprecise than that?" He sounded annoyed, but was getting closer at least.

"It's no threat, if that's what you mean. Just… eerie." She finished the statement in a tone too quiet to be heard far, but a mere few seconds later he was standing next to her already.

"Now, what is so remarkable that I needed to see it?" He sighed with a look at Robin instead of the pile she stood in front of, but his eyes followed her line of sight even before she could answer his question and he froze at the sight just like Robin had. "That… is remarkable indeed."

"Told you so." She replied before she could decide better not to, but he let it slip anyway.

What they were both looking at now was a large, framed, but unmoving portrait. A portrait of a young woman who looked exactly like Robin, only perhaps a few years older. But the similarity was undeniable.

"Did you touch it?"

"Of course not!" Robin protested immediately. "I actually do take advice when I deem it useful!"

"Did anything else happen that might be considered unusual?"

"No… I was just looking at all the things, and then I saw this. Nothing moved, or glowed, or changed or whatever it could have done. A perfectly ordinary painting." She shrugged and finally averted her eyes from the image.

"Perhaps it is only a coincidence. Over the course of the centuries there surely have been a few people who look like you." He tried to reason, but also didn't sound too convinced about what he was saying.

"That would explain the similarity between her and me. But then how do you explain this?" Robin asked quietly, and pulled her necklace with the locket on it over the collar of her shirt into the open. "Look what she's wearing around her neck… A different necklace, admittedly, but the locket is the very same as mine."

For another two seconds he inspected the painting, then stepped so close to Robin that he could take the small piece of jewelry out of her hand and study it with the same intense gaze. Bloody hell… she would've taken the necklace off if he had just given her a moment longer to do so. Instead, he now stood so close that every single sense of hers was heightened to the unbearable. Hopefully he couldn't hear the ridiculous pace of her heart as it almost leapt out of her chest with every beat… if he did, she might just have to blame it on her scary similarity to the painting.

Somehow, the more she tried to ignore these things, the feelings and tingles and thoughts, the stronger they came lashing back at her in the end. It really was unfair. She didn't want to like him so much… and she didn't want to enjoy it. Hopefully this stupid teenage-crush thing would be over soon; she's had enough after a full year of repressing it.

"You have had this for a while, haven't you?" He finally spoke up again before he looked Robin in the eye for a few silent seconds, then dropped the locket and took a few steps backwards.

"What?" Robin's mind was in a minor haze, and she needed a second to remember how to breathe. Gods, this was ridiculous. It was torture and bliss at the same time. Maybe she could blame it on hormones, or something likely unlikely.

"The locket has been in your possession for how long?" He repeated, but without the feigned annoyance Robin had expected.

"I… bought it in an antiquity shop in Diagon Alley during the Christmas break of my first year here. That would be three and a half years ago." She finally got her brain to work again, and shook the unnecessary feelings out of her otherwise functioning system.

"And you have been wearing it ever since?"

"Yes."

"Anything unusual?"

"No. Not at all. I put the same charm on it as on my backpack though, but it has never caused me any problems." Robin shrugged with a calm expression. "Do you think this portrait is anything more than just a big coincidence?"

"I have no idea. But I have seen coincidences far stranger than this one, so it is very much possible that it is nothing more."

"I mean… last year, when we made that potion to see which spells had affected me, there was no influence of another kind on me other than that prank thing, right? So this shouldn't be affecting me, seeing as I've had the locket for far longer than that."

"I hadn't considered that, but I do agree. Perhaps it is merely a coincidence. Still, I-..."

"You expect me to tell you immediately when or if something odd occurs." Robin added before he could.

"Indeed." He replied with a small glare in return, but Robin didn't let it fool her at all as they left the portrait where it was and made their way back towards the doorway back into the real world.

"Did you find what you were looking for, by the way? The reason we came here?" She asked with a new smile, looking up at Snape once they stepped through the doors and into the dark hallway.

For a moment he simply returned her gaze in silence, giving her one of those enigmatic looks that said everything and nothing at once, until he finally replied with words once they started making their way back towards the dungeons. "Yes, I believe I did."

And yet, he hadn't taken a single thing out of the room he hadn't brought there himself in the first place; it was only Robin, and the very smile on her lips.

______________________________

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[whoknowsbud]

Stand Mutation AU DiU

Again, this is FILLED with body horror and somewhat loose connections to the recent epidemic but they are there. There’s also a massive amount of angst around the Nijimuras.

See the first post & explanation here

Morioh is under a sort of quarantine. Due to not being contagious, it may be more of a research center, to keep research subjects in one place. When people start getting infected again (from the arrow, of course) there’s a pretty massive panic, from people assuming the virus must be evolving. So, aside from finding Josuke, the Speedwagon Foundation has Jotaro there to find who’s using the arrow.

Josuke is pretty much Crazy Diamond; his pompadour is basically a massive diamond helmet, with a heart-shaped front, a few thorny details from dad. Skin might be a little shiny, or sparkly.

Okuyasu begins as extremely feral and rather monstrous, but over time becomes more human. His form becomes smoother, until the infection becomes localized on his right arm. He has the common headlight eyes and his normal hair, but with the black mark covering above his eyes & reaching the tip of his nose, in addition to his scar.

Keicho is also fried, and is basically something of a human-transformer mix. Green camouflage body, bandages around his head, gun arm, helicopter blades in his back… Looks a little like something you’d expect to see if the Terminator had real flesh, with additional machine parts..

Koichi gains the common headlight eyes and starts turning green first. Following, not overnight but still fast, comes the beak, tail, and his lower legs become wheels. He does not lose any of his ability or evolve in the same way, but does change. As ‘act 2’, he regrows his legs (the wheels now his feet), his beak becomes more of a reptile snout, and he’s more armored. As ‘act 3’, he’s back to looking more human. The wheels are now just his heels (yes, heelys), and his tail is shorter.

Yukako… maybe fully made of hair? Or just the same as canon...

Tonio can just imbue his food with the sort of healing power. That or he grows the Pearl Jams on his body, which is very disturbing, so we'll probably go with the first. His power is extremely limited with this infection, which upsets him quite a bit. He can strengthen your body and all, but what can it do with stand shit? This isn't the flu.

Rohan’s arms are like heaven's door's hat; just the yellow lines outlining them. Depending on mood, desperation, & writers block, his sketchy-ness spreads more through his body.

Shigekiyo is a bunch of Harvests in a trench coat! Original Shigechi is essentially the ‘queen bee’ so to speak.

Mikitaka is an actual alien (cause fuck you, we do what we want). Planet was probably overrun by the virus, and he left to… either help other planets with it or prevent it or something… That or just. To find somewhere he can live a better life.

Tamami… probably just about the same, but creates locks on himself as well, for each victim currently affected - not because of guilt or anything, just to make sure they’re still in his control should they separate.

Hazamada is pretty much just Surface.

Akira is, basically, a toxtricity (amped, of course.) But yea, basically take RHCP, give it rocking hair and music ability, and there ya go.

Yuya basically sends his own feet, which gains a vague body to go with them.

Kanedaichi is SuperFly. A few bug decals on the tower maybe… He uses radio waves to communicate, and an unsettling doll to make himself known… Tickle me Elmo.

Terunosuke appears to be origami, with his face drawn on. Despite this, he can’t actually change his overall form.

Yoshihiro is probably the same as canon...

Kira’s mutation is much more subtle than most. His skin is pink, he has Killer Queen’s eyes, and very sharp and stiff ears. He hides most of this with makeup, contacts, and clips his own ears, to live under the illusion that he's 'just a normal guy'. When he feels stress, his face starts turning translucent, so you can see his skull - which reveals that his ears are more part of his skeleton. His hands frequently explode, and his sweat is explosive.

Stray Cat is just the same as in canon.

As mentioned earlier, the Nijimura’s story here is (I believe) even more upsetting than it is in canon. Though Angelo doesn’t happen, Josuke’s grandfather is dead.

Keicho finds the arrow, as he did in canon, but nicks himself in the process. He (somehow) hears the Speedwagon Foundation is looking for it and, realizing the arrow played a big part in the infection, panics. This makes his infection, which was already starting to mutate him, go wild. He turns feral in a different way than most; he guards the arrow, obsessing over it - like their dad over that ripped picture. Okuyasu, of course, tries to get through to his brother.

His body isn’t completely developed; the helicopter blades are half-stuck in his body and his gun doesn’t work. So, when Okuyasu tried to reach him, Bad Company only understands that someone is approaching the arrow, and attacks him… With the arrow. Fully aware of what the arrow did to his brother, Okuyasu is at peace with what’s going to happen to him. His only family is like this, and they don’t even remember him… How much worse could losing his own mind be?

The house is said to be haunted, so when Josuke and Koichi pass it, they stop to look. Koichi mentions, now that he understands a little of the infection, that he wonders if the ‘ghosts’ ‘haunting’ it are just more victims. Josuke realizes it's likely, and tells him to call Jotaro and wait outside.

Koichi calls Jotaro and does not wait outside; he goes in after Josuke, gets lost, and ends up finding the room Bad Company is in.

Meanwhile, Josuke’s struggling against Okuyasu, who may or may not be crying. Josuke realizes this guy really is a victim, and thinks he must be able to help. So, when he does take him down, he tries to fix this, only to feel terrible because this is another thing he can’t fix. But he can’t stay, because Koichi screams, so he has to run.

He finds the room, but it’s obvious that whatever attacked Koichi hasn’t left, and he’s worried this’ll go horribly wrong if he runs in, but if he doesn’t, Koichi’s probably going to die. This is when he hears the bass boost ‘bbbvvvrrrrrrrrr’ and he spins, ready to fight, but Okuyasu’s already erasing the space between them and Koichi, and now he’s in range for Josuke to heal him. Josuke’s not sure what’s happening, but it’s obvious Okuyasu isn’t going to attack. So, Josuke’s healing Koichi, and trying to figure this all out, “so do you… have a sibling here?”

He nods, looking at him with pleading eyes, begging for something. Josuke starts thinking aloud, “they must be infected, too… uh, you... want me to fix them?”

He's nodding so vigorously it looks almost painful, and this is when Koichi wakes up, and he shrieks because what the fuck is that. Josuke makes sure he's okay (Koichi's irises are turning bright yellow, but he can't worry about that right now), and has Okuyasu watch Koichi.

Okuyasu is surprised that he's being trusted like this; but Josuke's already ripping the door off the frame, holding it in front of him like both a shield and battering ram, and he's charging in.

Koichi is far, far too tired to move himself, so Okuyasu carries him away from the fight. But Okuyasu starts fidgeting, worried. He's hearing shots, explosions, and yelling, and there's a lot of smoke. Obviously Koichi's worried too, so they kinda sneak back over to get a look, and what koichi sees is... alarming, to say the least.

Uninfected, you don't see the full quality of his skin, and his helmet just looks like a weirdly solid block of hair. But now koichi's getting the whole picture, and… He's gorgeous.

His body is suddenly shining and sparkling from the armor, his skin almost glittery, and the massive diamond form encasing his head reflects light like a goddamn disco ball - it's all almost blinding

Sexuality crisis ahem so anyways

Josuke eventually gets Bad Company down, and he's trying to heal him, but the light suddenly comes on. They all know someone else is here, so Okuyasu - not wanting anything to keep his bro from getting fixed like he was - runs in to intercept the form coming fast, but Keicho's a little faster

But instead of going for the arrow, it's Okuyasu he targets.

Okuyasu and Josuke are alarmed at this; he'd shown that he only cared about the arrow, why do this? Why go after Okuyasu, before he even got the arrow back?

But Keicho's looking at him - even as this electric being's arm goes through his stomach, his eyes are focused on his brother.

"I act on my orders," he says, whereas before the only thing he ever said was "the arrow", "follow orders"... things like that.

Because Bad Company had been ordered to protect the arrow at all costs

But Keicho Nijimura did that to protect his brother

Which clearly worked against him but moving on

Okuyasu makes this cry, this wail, and Koichi can feel the hurt echoing in him and wishes he could've done something as the being takes the arrow into the light

But Josuke realizes there's a fuse box in here, and its being overloaded, and they need to get out right now, so he grabs the two survivors and jumps out the window.

He ends up being hurt pretty bad splinters of wood dig in his calves and his back, but he's gotta make sure these two are ok.

Josukes not sure if that actually helped, because he's crying so so hard now, and the three just sit there for a while

Okuyasu looks at josuke, crying, pleading... Josuke knows what he wants

"I saw it," he chokes out, "you should know.. Ididn't bring him back, I barely reached him… You did."

Jotaro spots the building when the room explodes and comes running, of course relieved to see these kids are sitting outside, safely... Well. Not dead. Josuke asks about Okuyasu.

"Yea that happened to me, he'll be fine. It's pretty common."

Then he sees Koichi's eyes are a little different and just fuckn grabs the kid and stares super close for a few minutes

Irises are yellow, but more important, the whole ball is getting kinda... segmented? Like... there are creases forming. W/e - they're slowly becoming headlights.

It's an uncomfortable minute for these children, until Jotaro lets him go and says (usual deadpan), "you've been infected."

Then jotaro sets him down and says, usual deadpan, "you've been infected." And Josuke freaks out, assuming he was the cause.

So, Jotaro has to explain that - no, the only way to become infected is if you or a (close enough) relative is injured by the stand arrow. Okuyasu jumps on the phrase, practically barking with desperation. Jotaro, having gone through a rather similar stage, figures it out pretty quickly, "you know about it… where is it?"

“Is that what that weird arrow was back there," Josuke wonders around, jumping when Jotaro focused on him, "well, uh… some electric thing took it… after killing this guy's brother."

Jotaro can't really do much with that, so he moves on, "alright, you three get to the Speedwagon building, I'm gonna do a walkthrough."

They agree, but Okuyasu's looking at the house & not moving Josuke & Koichi try to reassure him about keicho, while Jotaro just walks right in to investigate.

After a minute he comes out carrying Weird Frog Dad who's holding the ripped picture, "what is this." Okuyasu makes this "aa!" sound while the other 2 are Shook.

Okuyasu's looking at Josuke, though he's already moving, but Jotaro stops him, "this can't be fixed." Josuke's like "but i gotta try" and does, and newsflash it doesn't work, but he sees the picture and fixes that and at least that's sweet

So, nearly on the opposite side of the emotional spectrum, the next day we see Koichi skating to school. At first he's very weirded out, tries to hide it, but then he realizes "wait. The town's full of infected people, this isn't that bad." His mother and sister, of course, freak out, but Koichi knows enough to explain it all and put them a little at ease.

Also he does not end up with Yukako, they both deserve better. Like, yea she probably still has her obsession, but it gets handled after the first time. It takes a little while for her to adjust to... not.. doing any of that. But they're both way healthier for it. Not cool or healthy to date your fixation or stalker

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.6.2 “How Jean Can Become Champ”

I’m sorry if some of this is muddled, I wrote some of this post to avoid doomscrolling yesterday (not that it worked). It’s also long.

First of all I gotta say, I do love how Hugo manages to get everything to slot into place, when he doesn’t use his handwavy magic. The chapter opens with Madeleine settling some “pressing business of the mayorality” just in case he decides to go and collect Cosette from Montfermeil himself. Obviously this doesn’t happen, but the fact that he’s arranged stuff in advance means he’s able to go to Arras etc and mayoral matters are settled even when he’s revealed his true identity.

Hugo calls Javert “this savage in the service of civilization, this odd mixture of Roman, Spartan, monk, and corporal.” I’ve always assumed the term “savage” was another reference to his Romani ancestry, as well as his origins within a jail. The rest of the references have to do with different types or levels of self-discipline and sense of duty. Essentially, this phrase is saying that Javert carries his sense of duty with him everywhere and rarely strays from it. I’ve nicked this straight from the wikipedia page on Roman pietas, but I feel like it fits so well: “A Roman with the virtue of pietas did not leave his religious duties at the door of the temple, but carried them with him everywhere, following the will of the gods in his business transactions and everyday life.”

"His whole being expressed abasement and steadfastness, an indescribably courageous dejection.” Weirdly I love this description. Javert hates being wrong, but to admit it is to  act justly and according to duty, so he does it. Which is just so interesting because he could easily not even bother to tell Valjean about any of this, and just go on with his life as normal, and Valjean would be none the wiser. But that’s not how Javert functions. The difference between himself and other cops is that his sense of duty and justice extends to himself, which he says much more directly later on in the chapter. I just like that this description includes both his steadfastness to duty and his humiliation and self-frustration at being wrong and admitting it. “Courageous dejection” is such an interesting phrase, but it makes sense. It takes courage to admit you’re wrong, and even more when it’s something as egregious as informing on a superior.

Javert interrupts Valjean here, which I can’t decide what to think about. Part of me assumes that he interrupts Valjean because Valjean hasn’t even started to speak, so it’s still sort of....socially allowed for Javert to tack another bit of explanation onto what he just finished saying. Part of me wonders if Javert feels okay about interrupting Valjean either because he assumes he’s going to be dismissed anyway, and so this small rudeness of interrupting a superior doesn’t really matter, or because despite his sense of duty, he still feels quite a bit of aversion towards Valjean (which Hugo tells us a paragraph prior) and so is less bothered by interrupting him due to his dislike. Either way, it’s interesting that Javert is so keen on duty and correct conduct and yet he interrupts Valjean here.

“...you were severe to me the other day, unjustly. Be justly so today.” Wow okay so. Javert directly disobeyed and contested authority, argued with Madeleine and attempted to undermine his command to let Fantine go. Madeleine reacted accordingly, sending Javert away. And yet Javert feels that this treatment was unjust. I think the reason he sees it as unjust is because he sees himself as defending the honor of a mayor or authority figure (as well as a well-to-do citizen, Bamatabois) against a lowly prostitute. Despite the fact that Valjean specifically defended Fantine and offered her help, he’s still going to see his defense of authority and justice as being in the right over Valjean’s empathy towards her. (Sidenote: I love that he says “the other day” even though Fantine’s arrest was almost two months ago.)

Again, we get another concrete passage of time. It’s been six weeks since Fantine’s arrest. She’s still in hospital. Hugo isn’t huge on indicating exact passages of time. Lots of “eh, about three weeks later” or “maybe four months ago” in this book. Also the absolute mess of the Thenardier boys’ timeline. Anyway, these continuous references to how much time has passed is important. Hugo wants us to know how long Fantine was a sex worker for, and now how long she’s been languishing in bed, still sick.

Javert lists off things that he recognized in Valjean. All of these make sense to me except “information you obtained at Faverolles.” When has Madeleine ever mentioned being from or going to Faverolles? The Hapgood translates this as “inquiries which you had caused to be made at Faverolles.” This makes it sound like he actively tried to find his family. Hugo specifically tells us that by the time Valjean left prison, he had forgotten his family entirely. And yet, it seems here as if he made an effort to find them, or find out what happened to them, once he had the means. What’s interesting to me is that Valjean would do that at all. Part of me says, well of course he would, he still cares about his family, and probably wants to know what happened to them, not to mention he has this thing about rose-colored glasses and probably was hoping he’d get some information despite knowing deep down that they were lost to him. But another part of me wonders why he would do that, considering that it could compromise his identity. Also I can imagine he might associate his past self, even his pre-bread robbery self, with his convict-Valjean self and his past as a “Bad Person,” so I’m not sure he would want to think about or associate with his convict self in that way. Just the idea that he maybe sent to Faverolles for information about his family is an interesting little piece of information.

We also learn that he has a leg that drags a little (and at the very end of the novel we learn it’s because he spent 20 years with a chain on that leg). Something that I’ve sort of written about before, when I reread the book in February last year, is how much information about Valjean we don’t get from Hugo’s narration. Despite much of the book being from Valjean’s POV (or Hugo looking over Valjean’s shoulder, which is how I always imagine it), Hugo always stays respectfully distant compared to his narration of other characters. The post I wrote was mostly re: Valjean’s true Thoughts And Feelings, but it also goes for a lot of his physical aspects and actions as well. Hugo doesn’t tell us about Valjean’s dragging leg when he describes him, Javert has to reveal that to us. We are told a lot of his aspects or actions through other characters interpreting him to him (wow jesus does that phrase make sense?) rather than Hugo showing/telling us while narrating through Valjean.

“He was very poor. Nobody paid any attention to him. Such people get by, one hardly knows how.” So my first thought is that this line is sort the opposite of what I talked about above. Javert knows how such people get by. Partly because he sees it every day, and partly because he grew up like that. While we just got evidence of Valjean remembering his past, this is evidence of Javert rejecting and forgetting his own. And my other thought is again how applicable this is to modern day. Cops, rich people, etc turn away despite knowing how hard poor people struggle. They know “how these people get by,” which is barely, and they know why and they know what can help or fix it, but they turn away and absolutely refuse to see it.

“Such people, when they are not mud, are dust.” This is such a pretty and poetic way of declaring such a gross opinion. But also it’s such an interesting pair of descriptors. When you’re poor the way Valjean was, or the Thenardiers will be, you are in a position to be blown away by society and by poverty, to be dirt that disappears and spreads far and wide with the gust of wind, and if you’re trying to locate a certain speck of dirt that you had been looking at before the wind blew, you wouldn’t be able to identify it. Or you’re in a position to be bogged down, to be stuck packed together, trying to survive, begging and stealing off of others around you because there’s no other way to survive, being stepped on and scoffed at by people in a better position than you, and then scraped up and tossed in a gutter or the galleys when it gets to be too much.

We get an age! Valjean is fifty-four. I feel like this is important mostly for his hair later on. Fifty is old enough to be greying but I think this makes us aware that he’s not yet old enough to be totally white-haired, and the change is a shock for that reason as well.

Holy shit this is the most adjectives I’ve seen used to describe a single character within a single chapter so far. Words describing Javert or Javert’s actions in this chapter: respectfully, conscientious, clearheaded, straightforward, sincere, upright, austere, fierce, violent, soldierly, cold, patient, genuine humility, tranquil, resigned, serious, calm, gloomy, sad, abasement, steadfastness, courageous dejection, solemnity, incorruptible, supplicating, simplicity, dignity, unenlightened, stern, pure, desperate, resolute, bizarre grandeur, oddly honest. The biggest takeaway from all of these, I think, is how much Javert’s pious loyalty to justice and morality is not corrupt, at least in the usual sense. It’s misguided, it’s unsympathetic, but he genuinely believes in his own actions. He is aware of his severity, but he doesn’t see it as cruelty, he sees it as justice. He doesn’t acknowledge the evil of his actions because he doesn’t see them as evil. He is (and I want to go into this later for 1.8.3) a personification of the “evil of good,” and an illustration of how justice can go too far. But he does everything with that air of honesty and cold dignity, because he genuinely believes that his morals and his dedication to justice is in the right.

“And now that I see the real Jean Valjean, I do not understand how I could have believed anything else. I beg your pardon.” So we’ve already established that Javert does not change his mind or admit wrong easily. We also already know he doesn’t like Valjean anyway. The only reason, it seems, that he is admitting to this mistake and asking for dismissal, is because of Valjean’s position of authority. Javert does not do mercy; once he believes someone is bad, they are forever bad. The exception is those in power, those who he sees as authority figures, even when he questioned them just a chapter or two earlier. His sense of duty overrides his morality. Which I think is a major point for him. This is what screws him over later on at the end of the book. When his morality drastically changes, he can’t change his sense of duty to fit it. The issue in this chapter a mistake which is fairly excusable: there is another person he can transfer that moral judgement onto (Champmathieu) and Valjean’s position as an authority figure overrides any of the moral suspicions Javert had about him before this transfer of moral judgement. If Madeleine-Valjean had been just a regular merchant, I wonder if Javert would have admitted to his identity mistake but also continued to be suspicious, simply because his instincts told him that if you think someone is bad, they’re probably bad.

Oh okay so this actually potentially answers my question from last chapter. Javert says “Scaling a wall and theft includes everything. It is a case not for a police court but for the superior court.” So does that mean the police could just toss people into prison for however long they liked if the crime was a misdemeanor?

Javert mentions that the police have not found Petit Gervais. I mostly want to note this because Hugo told us earlier on that Valjean gives money to every Savoyard that passes through M-sur-M and asks their name, and it seemed to imply that in doing that he’s maybe secretly hoping Petit Gervais will turn up. If Valjean hasn’t found Petit Gervais yet, I doubt the cops will.

Javert fundamentally misunderstands how Valjean is sly and cunning. Because Valjean is quite clever and cunning, but the difference is nearly all of his cunning comes not from direct lies or playing dumb the way that Javert is implying, but by using his surroundings and other people’s assumptions to his own advantage. (Plus disguises and wigs, but we don’t see that until Paris.) He buys himself time through things like the fake address trick during the Thenardier encounter, or wandering and disappearing into the woods like Boulatruelle observed, or taking advantage of incomplete information, like becoming Fauchelevent’s brother or burning his passport and becoming Father Madeleine. Valjean’s whole thing is being able to very quickly scan a room, register things, and then adapt and/or react to his situation quite quickly. (Side note: What’s interesting to me is that he’s great at adapting and acting when it comes to action but he is rather stilted and slow when it comes to emotional reaction or adaptation.)

“...tell her to make her complaint against the carter Pierre Chesnelong. He is a brutal fellow, he almost crushed this woman and her child.” Whenever Hugo mentions carts there’s usually symbolism there. In this case it sounds to me like a parallel of Javert, Fantine, and Cosette. At this point, Fantine is still alive though very sick, and Valjean is planning to go to Montfermeil himself to get Cosette. Javert’s imprisonment of Fantine would have destroyed Cosette along with Fantine, just as Chesnelong’s cart nearly crushed Mme Buseaupied and her child. She gets to make a complaint, she has the potential for Chesnelong to be punished. Fantine doesn’t have that, not to the same extent. She dies before it could happen anyway, but even if it could, she’s a prostitute who would be complaining against a cop, there’s not a lot of power on her side, even with Valjean vouching for her. But at this point, she’s only been “nearly” crushed; her child will be with her soon, at least she get that reunion despite being mortally ill, and Javert’s punishment for nearly crushing Fantine and Cosette is, weirdly, Valjean’s refusal to acknowledge his sense of duty and dismiss him.

“Besides, this is an offense that concerns only me.” This almost exactly parallels Valjean’s comment on Fantine insulting him: “The insult is to me. I can do what I please about it.” This is the second time that Valjean has denied, to his face, Javert’s sense of justice and duty by claiming offenses as a personal matter rather than a judicial one.

“In my life I have often been severe to others. It was just. I was right. Now if I were not severe toward myself, all I have justly done would become injustice. Should I spare myself more than others. No. You see, if I had been eager only to punish others and not myself, that would have been despicable!” I mentioned it above, but this is just so telling. Javert knows how severe he is, but he doesn’t see it as cruelty or lack of empathy, he sees his severity as totally in the right because it is for the good of justice. He especially sees it as good because he is willing to treat himself in a similar way. But this does make me wonder, like, would any treatment he got be as callous as the way he treats others? He’s a cop, and while he’s not the favorite of the other cops, he’s still an authority figure. So if he asked for others to be severe to him the way he had been severe to others, would they be? Or would they treat him better because he is or was an authority figure? Anyway, this line really establishes how entrenched in his own morals Javert really is. I feel like these lines here are the entire setup for his conflict and death at the end of the book. If he didn’t believe in treating himself with the same severity as others, the stakes wouldn’t be as high re: the consequences for letting Valjean go free.

Javert calls the defense of a lower person against a higher-up “ill-begotten kindness,” which I think is a really good indication of the way his view of justice works. Defending someone like Fantine, who has been beaten down and nearly broken by the system, isn’t empathy or charity to him, but kindness that shouldn’t be. He seems to think that in situations like this, the person who is being pardoned or defended shouldn’t be, and is sort of like gunning for special treatment by accepting that kindness.

“Good God, it is easy to be kind, the difficulty is to be just.” Maybe this is a weird way to look at this line, but I can’t help but think about Valjean’s conflict after leaving Digne when I read this. At that point, for Valjean, the difficult was in choosing to be kind, rather than choosing to continue to ride his old instincts that would lead to more crime. Javert learns at the end of the novel how difficult it is to be kind when all you know is being “just,” and it kills him. But here Javert equates kindness with moral leniency or maybe even moral abandonment, rather than with empathy and aid. To Javert, people who have done something criminal or morally bad cannot change and cannot be rehabilitated and will always be bad. Which makes me wonder what he thinks kindness actually is. What is Javert’s version of kindness, since he sees kindness in the form of aid or sympathy as reprehensible?

I wonder if Javert is thinking of Fauchelevent when he says, “I have hands, I can till the ground.” Would Javert have changed if he’d gone into labor work for a while, like Fauchelevent? Would work as someone who has no power over others have changed him?

Javert describes himself as a spy in a derogatory way. I think this is the only time he ever references spying in a derogatory way towards himself. However, he has been described as a spy or having spy-like qualities more than once by Hugo. For just a moment, he agrees with the narrator and reader about what he’s like, only it’s from a completely different angle. We can see that he’s “like a police spy” because he’s merciless and inflexible and generally unwilling to change any of his ways at all. He sees himself as “like a police spy” because he has breached a social contract and not only falsely suspected but reported on a superior.

A thought on Tome 1.6: I find it really interesting that despite the fact that this tome is titled “Javert,” it doesn’t include 1.5.13, which contains more of Javert’s narrative than 1.6.1 does. In 1.5.13, we see the drastic effect Valjean’s actions have on Javert, and the emotional turmoil he goes through in questioning authority the way that he does. And yet, that chapter is contained in “The Descent.” Instead, the Tome starts with “Now, Rest,” and Javert’s only role in this chapter is to write the letter to the prefect of police. So despite the Tome being titled after him, Javert is really only emotionally and narratively relevant for the second chapter. I would think that it might have been better to bookend the Tome with two chapters that were most relevant to him, 1.5.13 (which would be 1.6.1 then) and 1.6.2. Instead, 1.6.1 focuses more on Fantine’s condition which, though caused by Javert, doesn’t actually include or affect him at this point. At the same time, the last Tome was titled “The Descent.” This descent of Fantine’s levels out once she has fainted, which is a good transition into the next Tome.

[haberdashing]

Unraveling All The Mystery

TMA mental time travel AU; Jon gives the rest of the original archives crew an explanation for his erratic behavior. Inspired by this post and this fic of it.

on AO3

“Jon...”

“...this is an intervention.”

Jon couldn’t help but burst into laughter when he heard those words.

He’d known something was up when all three archival assistants had joined him at once in his office early that morning, had half-suspected that they were going to ask in unison about how he had been acting different ever since he had the memories of his future self (well, of his no-longer-future self, hopefully) dumped into his head, but that phrasing...

It reminded Jon of an entirely different “intervention” directed his way, and while he knew he needed to take this situation seriously, it was still a far sight for being confronted for stalking his coworkers and accusing them of murder.

(To be fair, two of the four people he’d seen as murder suspects at the time had in fact killed someone, but Jon knew well enough that that didn’t entirely excuse his actions.)

Martin’s brows furled together in that way Jon had always secretly found adorable as he asked, “What’s so funny?”

Jon tried his best to school his expression back into something approximating neutral before he replied. “It’s... it’s a long story.” Technically true, that, though he knew it wouldn’t get him far to say that alone, knew he wasn’t the only one here hungry for answers (at least metaphorically speaking). “Never mind that. What is this... ‘intervention’ regarding?”

Sasha, Martin, and Tim all exchanged a look that Jon couldn’t quite decipher for a silent moment before Sasha spoke up.

“All three of us have noticed that you haven’t been acting like yourself lately.”

And of course it was Sasha telling him this. Sasha who he had two sets of memories of now, one of the real her and one of a being that had taken her place, the two already starting to blur together in his mind when he wasn’t face to face with the real thing.

Jon knew that her point was a fair one, but he still wanted to know more, wanted to know what exactly had changed, what had revealed to the rest of the world his internal change, wanted to know if it was something Jonah Magnus might have already noticed, so he raised an eyebrow and asked, “How so?”

Tim blurted out “weird” right as Martin blurted out “nice,” with Sasha waiting a beat before adding, “Weirdly nice.”

“...fair enough.” Jon could feel a smile sneaking back onto his face as he spoke. “I do know what you’re referring to there, and I, I do want to explain it all to you, but... do you mind if we take this conversation- er, this ‘intervention’ elsewhere?”

“...this is your office.”

“Exactly. Hardly neutral ground, is it?” Especially with Jonah Magnus doubtlessly watching their every move from his office, but Jon wasn’t very well going to mention that bit... “How about we go to that ice cream parlor we went to for Martin’s birthday? My treat.”

Sasha eyed Jon warily. “I had breakfast two hours ago.”

“Are you really going to turn down an offer of free ice cream and answers because of that?”

The three assistants exchanged a few pointed glances and slight shrugs before Tim said with a wide grin that may or may not have been entirely genuine, “You had me at ‘free ice cream.’”

“Glad to hear it.”

Jon got up and grabbed his bag, but before he could finish leading the way out of the Archives, a thought occurred to him. “Somebody bring a digital recording device with--laptop, phone, whatever, just so long as it’s digital. This won’t be a statement per se, but talking about it all will probably mess up the recordings as badly as the real statements do, and maybe that’ll help prove that this truly is the supernatural at work.”

There was a brief silence for a moment before Martin asked, “Jon, what d’you mean by real statements?”

“You know what I mean.” Jon sighed softly. “The ones with something solid to them, the ones you can’t easily rationalize away... not that I haven’t tried. They never record digitally.”

“I’ll go get a camera then.” Sasha darted away, and as she did, Jon could practically feel Martin and Tim’s gazes boring into him.

“So you do know there’s a difference.” Tim said.

“I didn’t think you believed any of them!” Martin added.

Jon sighed again. “I’ve... I’ve always believed in the supernatural. Well, perhaps not always, but for decades now, long before I got hired by the Institute. That’s why I wanted to work here in the first place. The skeptic act was always just that. An act, because it felt safer than the alternative.”

The awkward silence that followed was broken only by Sasha returning triumphantly, camera in hand. “Got it!”

“Great, let’s go.”

For a moment or two, as Jon’s feet obediently traced their way towards the ice cream parlor despite part of his brain insisting that it’d been years since he’d been to the place, Jon thought that was that.

Then Martin spoke up, his voice tentative but clear. “Care to share why you started believing in the supernatural, then?”

“Not particularly.” Jon paused, considered his options a bit more. He needed to be open with them, to trust them, he knew that, but... but that didn’t make talking about supernatural childhood trauma any easier. “Let’s just say it has to do with my distaste for both Leitners and spiders and leave it at that.”

Martin scrunched up his nose, and Jon’s heart ached at the sight of it. “Fair enough.”

The ice cream parlor wasn’t terribly busy this time of day, which was probably for the best, as Jon figured the less chance of being overheard, the better. After a bit of teasing and decision-making, Jon paid for the order as he’d promised, with both him and his assistants getting one scoop of ice cream each (though Tim had jokingly threatened to buy a scoop of every flavor the place had to offer just because Jon would have to foot the bill).

“What’s with you and rum and raisin ice cream, anyway?”

Jon glared at Tim. Tim glared back.

“What do you mean? It’s good.”

“If you’re eighty years old and have no taste buds left, maybe. Seriously, if you made an objective ranking of ice cream flavors-”

“That’s literally impossible, Tim, everybody has different preferences-”

Tim raised his voice a bit as he spoke over Jon. “Then you know that in dead last would be-”

“Anything with marshmallows in it?”

Martin looked up from his scoop of rocky road, pointing his spoon at Jon accusingly. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Jon couldn’t quite look Martin in the eye as he continued, so he focused his gaze on Tim instead. “The texture is all wrong for mixing with ice cream, they’re disgustingly sweet, and do you know what marshmallows are made out of? Because I don’t consider that appetizing, especially in a dessert context.”

Martin scrunched up his face again. “...I try not to think about it.”

“So we’ve established that Jon’s taste in ice cream is just wrong in general, I see.” Sasha chimed in.

“Exactly! We weren’t discussing Martin’s taste in ice cream here-” Tim started to gesture wildly with his own spoon, flecks of moose tracks coming perilously close to falling off as he flailed it around. “We’re discussing Jon’s, and specifically how horrible it is.”

“Technically, we didn’t come here to discuss anybody’s taste in ice cream.”

“Said like a man who still hasn’t explained what the deal is with him and rum and raisin.”

Jon weighed the pros and cons of trying to change the subject more forcefully versus just flat-out telling the truth before settling on the latter.

“My grandmother used to buy it for me as a treat. We’d sit side by side on the couch and share a pint as we watched nature documentaries on the telly. It was as close to a family tradition as we had, I suppose.”

“Oh.” Tim’s gaze softened a bit. “Alright, I’ll give you that one.”

“So it’s not because you’re eighty and have no taste buds, it’s because your grandmother was?” Sasha added.

“Hey!”

Sasha stuck out her tongue, turned bright pink from the strawberry ice cream she was eating, her expression clearly unapologetic.

“Can we talk about what we’re actually here to talk about now?”

Jon’s voice came out a little louder than he had intended, and his near-shouting seemed to shut down the friendly banter that had been surrounding him in one fell swoop. Sasha closed her mouth, a few awkward glances were exchanged (none of which were directed at Jon himself), and silence fell.

“...sure thing, Jon. Go right ahead.” Martin eventually replied.

“Start the camera, please?”

Sasha futzed with the camera for a few seconds before nodding and shooting Jon a thumbs-up. Before Jon could speak up, though, Tim beat him to the punch.

“Statement of Joe Spooky, regarding-”

Jon pressed one hand against his temple, though he was struggling to hold back a laugh as he did so. “I told you, Tim, this isn’t a statement. Not a proper one, anyway. We’re damn well not going to be filing it away in the archives, at least.”

Even with his hand half-covering his eyes, Jon could see Tim’s raised eyebrow and amused expression clearly enough. “Not even going to mention the Joe Spooky bit?”

“Wasn’t planning on it, no.” Though Jon couldn’t help but think of the other time Tim had grabbed a recording device and made a joke about the statement of Joe Spooky... but that was why he had to explain all of this, so that they could work together, so that they could prevent Prentiss’ attack on the Archives and all the horrible things that had followed it the first time around.

“Smart man, knows better than to quibble with some quality wordplay.”

“That’s not wordplay, Tim.” Sasha interjected. “That’s not even a pun, just a first name and the word ‘spooky.’”

“Like I said, quality wordplay right there.”

“Please let me actually talk about this?”

Once again, as Jon spoke up, the others went eerily silent. Jon set his hands on the table as he weighed his next words.

“So, do you want to hear my explanation first, or the proof I have to back it up?”

Tim spoke up first. “Proof first. Given how much you’re building this up, I doubt I’ll believe any of it before you’ve given me a reason to believe this isn’t just some elaborate prank.”

“Usually you’d be the one pranking me, not the other way around. I’m not exactly the pranking type.”

Tim shrugged slightly. “Well, maybe you’ve finally snapped, decided to get your revenge by launching a prank for the ages.”

Jon thought about disputing the idea that he would ever prank one of his assistants, let alone Tim--Tim who he knew from back in Research, Tim who was his friend, Tim who probably knew him better than anyone in the Institute (Jonah Magnus notwithstanding)--but decided against it. “Fine, so that’s one vote for proof first. Anyone else?”

Martin raised his hand before speaking, as if he were still back in primary school, and Jon knew that there had been a time not that long ago when he would have made that very comparison in an attempt to dismiss Martin, in an attempt to prove that at least he was more mature and competent than one of his coworkers. But that time had come and gone now, and Jon was just grateful that Martin was willing to take turns rather than everybody trying to speak over everybody else all at once. “Er, I’d rather have the story first, personally. Hard to establish proof if we don’t know what’s being proven to begin with.”

“Alright, well, that leaves you with the deciding vote, Sasha.” Jon pointed at Sasha, using his finger rather than his spoon for the gesture.

Sasha shoved a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth right as Jon pointed her way, dramatically drawing out her consumption of it before finally swallowing and saying with a mouth still tinged bright pink, “I say proof first. Between working in Artefact Storage and in the Archives, I’ve heard more than my fair share of horror stories; I’d like to know we can trust you, trust that you’re not some creepy doppelganger or something, before we get to the meat of whatever this is.”

Jon nodded. “Very well. Proof first it is.” Jon drummed his fingers on the table for a moment as he thought. “I can’t directly prove what’s happened since there’s no physical evidence, but I can prove that I know things about each of you that you haven’t told me, things that I have no way of knowing unless something supernatural is going on.”

“Go for it, boss.”

“Tim, I... god, there’s no easy way to say this, is there... I know what happened to Danny.”

Tim’s whole body tensed up at the mention of Danny’s name, and he glanced over at Sasha briefly, the two evidently having a silent conversation through facial expressions and minute gestures. Once, Jon would have been able to Know what it was they were saying, Know the meaning of each wink of the eye or tilt of the head, but now he could only make a few educated guesses.

“I know the whole story about your trip to Covent Garden Theatre, and your run-in with Joseph Grimaldi there. I know you want revenge on the circus more than anything in the world, even your own life. I’ll make sure you get that revenge, that the circus is destroyed, though hopefully this time you won’t be lost in the process. And I’m... I’m sorry for your loss.”

Tim blinked rapidly a few times, shifting his gaze from Sasha to Jon. His spoon fell from his hand into his cup of ice cream, though he didn’t seem to notice it, even when a few flecks of mostly-melted ice cream fell onto his shirt. “...shit.”

“Wait, you know about that?” Sasha said, tilting her head slightly to one side.

“I do now. Due to... well, I’ll tell you the story, but I don’t think I’m quite finished with the proof bit yet.”

“Right. Well, keep at it, I suppose.”

“Of course. Sasha...” Jon reached out to grab his own hair, but ended up with more empty air than actual strands of hair in his grasp. How had his hair ever been this short? “I wish I knew more about you, the, the real you. Besides arguing about how to pronounce calliope-”

“Cal-ee-OH-pee.” Sasha corrected, a weak grin on her face.

“Ca-LIE-oh-pee-” Jon returned Sasha’s grin with one of his own, one that he wasn’t sure he could stifle even if he tried. “And your distaste for Artefact Storage, though that apparently won’t stop you from going there in an emergency... Terrible idea, by the way. Don’t go in Artefact Storage, and especially don’t go check out that web table alone.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Sasha shivered exaggeratedly at the thought.

“But I, I do know, actually, that you and Tim have talked about how you’re more qualified to be head archivist than I am, that you should’ve been the one to get the position instead of me.”

This time, Sasha was the one to start the silent conversation between her and Tim.

“And honestly? You’re absolutely right. I came across a tape Gertrude left for her successor--far too late for it to help me directly--and she made it very clear that she expected that successor to be you, Sasha.”

Sasha stopped her silent conversation with Tim to stare at Jon. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. And based on what I now know, it’s entirely possible Elias chose me in part because you really would have been better at this job than I am.” Jon punctuated the statement with a sharp, bitter laugh.

“Why would Elias do that, though?” Martin asked.

“That ties in to the bigger picture stuff a fair bit, but suffice it to say that when Elias was looking for an Archivist, he had a lot more in mind for the position than actually taking care of the files in the Archives. There’s a reason Gertrude left it in such disarray, and there’s a reason he has so many inane rules about how to go about organizing what remains.”

“So he’s sabotaging the place?” Tim looked a little less shaken than he had been a moment ago, though he still hadn’t cleaned up the ice cream staining his shirt and was now fiddling absentmindedly with his spoon, half-eaten ice cream forgotten.

“Essentially, yes.”

Tim snorted. “Explains a few things, actually.”

Martin raised his hand again. “D’you have any spooky impossible knowledge about me, then?”

Jon laughed, loud and long. “Martin... the question isn’t whether I know anything about you, the question is where to start.” Jon shook his head, rapping his spoon against his cup as he considered what to say next.

“I know... I know you lied on your CV to get in here, that you don’t even have a degree, let alone the Master’s in parapsychology that you claimed to have. I know that you don’t have a middle name, middle initial notwithstanding. I know you’ve got a second tape recorder stashed away in document storage, that you use it to record poetry you wrote, because you think it gives a, a certain lo-fi charm to the recordings...”

“H-hang on a minute!” Martin’s face was red, but Jon didn’t think it was entirely out of embarrassment this time, and Tim and Sasha had their shoulders raised, as if they felt they were being attacked somehow...

“...oh, that sounds bad, doesn’t it? I promise this- this isn’t me calling you out, or, or attacking you, you don’t need to get defensive about all this-”

“Really?” Martin sounded skeptical; Jon couldn’t really blame him.

“For one thing, I couldn’t fire you even if I wanted to. And for another, I absolutely, positively don’t want to. Martin Blackwood, you’re stuck here with us for the long haul.”

“Great.” There was a sharp sarcasm to Martin’s tone, but Jon elected to ignore it.

“I also know that... that you notice a lot more than people think, that you do a lot more than people give you credit for. Including me. Especially me. I’ve taken you for granted... all of you, really, but especially you, Martin. And I’m sorry about that, I really am. I know better now, I swear.”

“...thanks?”

“Don’t mention it. Literally, don’t mention any of this when we’re in the Institute. I don’t want to risk Elias overhearing what I’m going to tell all of you.”

“Elias doesn’t come down to the Archives that much...”

Jon shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Still don’t talk about it.”

“Fine. Won’t mention it.”

“Good.” Jon took a deep breath and let it out before saying, “Proof?”

A few more glances were exchanged between the three assistants before all three nodded in agreement. “Proof.”

Sasha adjusted her glasses slightly before asking, “So what exactly is it you’re proving to us, then?”

“I, uh.” Well. No use beating around the bush. It was going to sound ridiculous no matter what, but hopefully he’d done enough to establish beforehand that he wasn’t just imagining things or making things up. Hopefully he’d done enough that they wouldn’t dismiss his experience the way he’d dismissed so many others.

“I have memories of the future.”

“You’re talking about time travel?” Sasha says, the bright gleam of her eyes visible even though her glasses.

“Not exactly--I didn’t physically go back in time, just, just mentally, just the memories I shouldn’t have yet.” Jon stared down at his hand, the same hand which he clearly remembered being covered in scars from worms and flames and stabbing, but was now utterly unblemished. “And they’re not... not memories of this future. I mean, I didn’t have this conversation before, it doesn’t work quite like that. I remember a future where I didn’t have these memories to work with--so it’d be some sort of changing or branching timeline, not, not a stable time loop...”

“I see.” Tim’s expression suggested otherwise, suggested that despite what his words might suggest he was caught somewhere between confusion and disbelief.

“I suddenly got these memories overnight not long after Martin...” Jon hesitated, unsure how to delicately phrase the next bit of what he had to say, how to refer to Prentiss’ siege on Martin’s flat without risking upsetting Martin in the process.  “...started living in the Archives. So I imagine that’s when I started acting weird, or, or nice, or weirdly nice, or however you want to put it. I don’t know why it happened then, exactly, but maybe it has something to do with me growing into my role as Archivist--late enough that I’m already getting comfortable in the position, but hopefully early enough that I can prevent the worst of it from happening all over again.”

Martin held up his hand, though less in a way reminiscent of a primary schooler and more in a way reminiscent of such a child’s crossing guard telling an oncoming car to stop. “I’m sorry, I was trapped in my flat for almost a fortnight, under siege by, by some sort of flesh worm hive thing--are you honestly saying that’s not ‘the worst of it’?”

Jon laughed and shook his head brusquely. “I wish it were, Martin, but unfortunately that’s just the tip of the iceberg here.”

Sasha tilted her head to one side, some strands of hair falling into her face as she did so. “What’s the iceberg then?”

“Well, there’s a lot of it, as the metaphor rather implies, but I’ll try to keep it short... Prentiss attacks the Institute-”

Martin’s face visibly paled at the mention of Prentiss’ name, and Jon scrambled to reassure him.

“Even in the future I remember she didn’t directly kill anyone, and I’ll make damn sure she doesn’t get a chance to do so this time around, but, well, that is what happened. And when Prentiss attacks, Sasha runs over to Artefact Storage, messes with the web table when nobody else is around, and gets killed and replaced by the monster bound to it.”

Jon started to put one finger out for each major event he lists off, as if keeping a tally, though he has no idea what the final count should be.

“Martin finds Gertrude’s body in the tunnels. I accidentally release the thing that replaced Sasha when I meant to kill it, and it almost kills me in turn. I get framed for murder, get kidnapped three separate times within a few months. Tim stops the circus from completing their ritual, but blows himself up in the process. Martin almost gets lost to the Lonely. I accidentally end the world, try to make it better, can’t make it better, send my memories back right as everything’s entirely going to shit. There’s more to it, but those are the most important events, at any rate.”

At least, they’re the most important events relating to Martin, Sasha, and Tim. No need to tell them about things like Melanie getting shot by ghosts in India, or Daisy getting stuck in the Buried. The big picture is complicated enough as it is.

“...I know you’ve made a few cock-ups in your time, boss, but ending the world is a new one even for you.”

Jon couldn’t bring himself to laugh, or even to meet Tim’s eyes, instead staring down at the sad dregs of his ice cream, long since melted. “It’s really not funny. Billions of people--just about everybody in the world--were suffering, stuck in a seemingly-endless torment, and it was all my fault.”

Martin bit his lip anxiously for a moment before speaking up. “I’m sure it wasn’t all your fault.”

Martin’s words brought a slight smile to Jon’s face, but he still shook his head in response. “It was. Trust me, Martin, it really was my doing. We had this argument enough after it actually happened... rather than discuss that further, I’d rather focus on preventing it this time around.”

“Do you have an actual plan for making sure the world doesn’t end for us, then?”

Jon looked up, looking into Sasha’s dark eyes, before breaking into laughter and grinning.

“What exactly do you think I’ve been doing all this time?”

[kenzie-ann27]

My Obnoxiously Long Analysis of Danny Torrance and Richie Tozier

I have thought about this particular analysis for a while, and this has been a really fun thing to write, but at the same time, I feel like I am missing a large part of the story because I am struggling to figure out why? I know these characters are connected in some way, that part is obvious, but I am unsure of the significance. Why are these two characters so similar yet so different? This isn’t a case of the Stephen King self-insert where every male lead is an author but grew up in a weird place and lost a family member that causes him great distress even in his adult life (looking at you, Bill Denbrough and Gordie LaChance). The case of these two characters is different, as their personalities and lives are so different as to not have them be carbon-copies of each other, but at the same time they share so many traits and they have this connection that is interesting to me (though not as interesting anymore, thank you so much, Mike Flanagan).

First, I will talk about the gifs, since I think that’s probably the best place to begin. That quote by Dick Hallorann is so, so interesting to me because it directly relates back to It. Towards the end of the book, Richie recalls a very distinct moment when Bill killed a mosquito that was on the back of Richie’s neck, and he talks a bit about it and how bugs were often drawn to them (though he uses pheromones as an example). Leeches are also mentioned quite descriptively in It as well, them being Patrick Hockstetter’s fear and what kills him in the book. The other gifs are mainly a visual comparison, as I think that the way those two moments were carried out was pretty interesting. I was going to make another visual comparison with the weird cloudy eye effect that both films utilize very well, but that part in It: Chapter Two with Richie does make me pretty uncomfortable. In both movies, essentially, characters’ eyes get clouded over when they get into someone else’s head: Danny Torrance does this to Rose the Hat, while It does it to Richie.

To start off, both Richie and Danny grew up as only children in a family where they had close relationships with their parents despite them having a hard time understanding their children. They both felt closer to their mothers, as their fathers were often busy with work; both Maggie and Wendy seemed to ensure that Richie and Danny grew up with strong moral values, and both of the children were affected greatly when their mothers died. As children, they are forced into an environment where they deal with a supernatural evil, though they are not in any real danger unlike other characters until the end of the story (when Jack chases Danny and when Richie and the other Losers fight It for the first time); all other times, they mainly see things that make them aware of the danger that is present. Notice that with Richie, unlike the other Losers, is not physically affected by It really at any point. This is very different from how It works with the others because that danger is still there even after the event has passed. The blood in Beverly’s bathroom is still there even after she leaves and goes back. But with Richie, in the park, he is able to make the danger go away, he puts those glasses back on and everything goes back to normal (the others physically run away from the danger, but Richie is psychologically running away from it by telling himself it isn’t real). Anyway, this event stays with them long after they’ve grown up and moved far away from the place where the trauma occurred: Richie moved from Maine to California (Chicago in the film) while Danny moved from Colorado to Florida (later to New Hampshire). They then, turn to drugs and/or alcohol, which is said in Doctor Sleep to sort of repress the ability to shine and keep those negative past memories at bay; Richie seems to lean more towards drugs than alcohol, and vice versa for Danny. When they are 40, they are drawn back to the place where they were mainly abused as children and are able to use their abilities to destroy the evil thing finally before returning back home to their pets and their co-workers that they have weirdly close relationships with and all is good. That's essentially their main stories, but I'm also going to talk about a few specific connections that I think are cool to see.

Both Danny and Richie use their hands as the main source of their shining abilities. This is not obvious with Richie in the movie, but it is for Danny with him and Tony. However! In the book, Richie's main goal in life as a child is to become- of all things- a ventriloquist. You know, a person that uses their hands a lot like how Danny does to make it look like Tony is more than just a voice. Speaking of voices, that's Richie's main thing. Who is to say all those voices aren't like Tony in that they're a personification of the shining? (more on this below) This is also a connection between the two because neither of them is particularly good at doing voices, they essentially still just sound like themselves; this doesn't mean that those voices don't represent other people, though, even if they do come out of Danny's and Richie's mouths. The whole hands thing also works for the other members of the Losers Club, with each of the Losers relying on their hands for their jobs, just like Danny, who, in Doctor Sleep, is mentioned as being a janitor before becoming an orderly at a hospice (I would classify him more as an unregistered nurse, as he does say he’s had medical training). Hands and arms in general play huge roles in these two stories, which I think sort of puts the nail in the coffin of this argument. As a child, Danny Torrance gets his arm broken by his father, which is the moment when he starts talking to his imaginary friend/personification of the shining, Tony. While nothing huge happens to Richie’s arms in the book or movie, I would go as far to say (I am aware this goes off-topic, but bear with me here) that in the hierarchy of who shines the brightest of the Losers, Eddie is up there since not only does he get his arm broken twice in the book, it’s also what causes him to die because he gets his good arm bitten off and he bleeds to death. Eddie in his final moments is so strange to me, and I think the reason why that is is that he physically cannot shine. His only arm left is broken. Of course, It would want to take that away from him because it’s aware that Eddie has the ability to kill it.

Both Danny and Richie rely on the guidance of an old (dead) friend to keep them on the correct path. For Danny, this is Dick Hallorann, as he appears in Doctor Sleep to guide Danny to return back to the hotel. For Richie, this is Stanley, as a memory of Stan keeps Richie from going back home.

Both Danny and Richie are able to form a connection with the dead/dying. For Richie, he's mostly connected to those who have already died, while Danny seems to help more with people who are dying. I mostly noticed this in It after realizing the voices of people (rather than original characters) Richie seems to do more often- Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, and Pancho Vanilla (based on Pancho Villa, the Mexican general)- are all people who have died before 1958. I like to imagine that this is just Richie flexing with his shining ability and him being able to form those connections with those people by taking their voices and making them his own. Notice that in the book, “voices” is usually capitalized, as if it represents something a lot more important than just a kid doing an impression.

Both Danny and Richie have confusing relationships with others, specifically their bosses. This is more a personal thing rather than a fact, but I have realized that these characters do have rather strange relationships with others. With Danny, he meets Billy after taking a bus to New Hampshire, and Billy gives him a job and a place to stay. They become fast friends, though I mainly attribute this to their shared ability to shine (yes, of course, I’m going to mention that Danny often sings along to YMCA while working). Danny eventually tells Billy about what’s going on with the missing kids, and Billy is just unusually calm with the situation and agrees to go with him to Idaho to find Bradley’s glove. With Richie, however, I would say the strange coworker comes in the form of Steve, who is his manager in both the book and the movie. Obviously, if you have never been to my blog before, I really like Steve. He’s a fun character to look at not only because of the way he interacts with Richie but because I am willing to bet that that’s who Richie ends up with (at least, in the movie, since that was the plan in the 2010 script). Like Danny with Billy, Richie wants to tell Steve about the crazy stuff that’s happening, if he remembered what happened at all. I know this isn’t really a good explanation for the comparison between Danny and Richie, but I feel like their relationships with Billy and Steve are just really interesting and something that stuck out to me in the books and the movies.

Of course, now, I feel like I need to justify all of this. I need to come up with some reason why these two characters are connected and why I felt the need to write all of this garbage. And for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why these two characters stick out so much in this universe.

And then I rewatched It: Chapter Two.

Richie sticks out the most in that movie because of the way he acts is so different from the others. He feels distant, almost. From the minute I see him on screen I am able to look at him and say “that’s Richie”, but at the same time he feels so different to me, as someone who has looked at this character for a long time to try and dissect him. In his opening scene, for one, unlike all of the others, Richie gets a moment on stage where he stares out blankly and he hears these voices, memories from his past (I don’t remember the exact things they said, but essentially they were the voices of himself, Stanley, Eddie, and Henry). That sticks out to me so much because he is the only character that that happens to, even after he drank a glass of bourbon like a minute beforehand (of course, this also can sort of be explained as the shining is dulled by alcohol, not always taken away completely). To be honest, all of the Losers tend to turn to alcohol when faced with stressful memories throughout the movie. But it wasn’t until later that I realized that Richie was seen differently by the Losers. In the Neibolt House, I feel like the Losers tend to somewhat overreact when it comes to Richie after being attacked by the spider-Stanley (like… when Eddie broke his arm, most of them were focused more on Pennywise rather than helping Eddie). And later after Eddie got stabbed, he looks to Richie as if Richie is going to help him.

This goes back to my hierarchy statement before, but essentially, what I’m getting at is that Richie shines the most. Like… Danny Torrance levels of shine. That’s why they are connected. It’s shown in Doctor Sleep that those who shine the most tend to connect to each other, so who’s to say that Danny didn’t know about Richie? In my hierarchy, by the way, I would say that the order of who shines the most would be: Richie, Stanley, Eddie, Beverly, Bill, Mike, and then Ben. Of course, this would bring up the issue of “if Richie shined the most, then why didn’t the Turtle talk to him instead of Bill?”, and that can just simply be put down to the fact that Bill is the leader. That came to be not because of his shining, but rather simply because of the way he looked; the other Losers (I believe it was either Eddie or Richie) mention that they look up to Bill, mainly because he is taller and stronger and more handsome. Why would the Turtle go to Richie for help with this when Richie has been running away from himself his whole life? Bill was the logical reason because he could lead them in a way that Richie never did.

Overall, I feel like both Richie and Danny have these super similar qualities that are hard to ignore. I love both of these characters, so writing this long piece of garbage was a lot of fun. It was also fun to rewatch these movies and see that there is just this big connection that is there for fans of the books, so I am dying to see where it goes. It feels like they are waiting for The Dark Tower to bring them together with the mentions of the Turtle and Ka and space and all of that, but I feel like a whole new story would be really interesting as well. Plus, you know, I am dying to see a teenaged Abra trying to explain to shining to Richie.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Juliet

Writing Blog URL(s): @wonderlustlucas

Nationality: American

Languages: English, beginner level French, teeny tiny bit of Korean

Star Sign: Virgo

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Favorite color: Pastel yellow

Favorite food: My mom’s Sunday gravy

Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle (The Lion King is a close second though)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Specifically Turkey Hill’s Double Dunker (get it— it’s so good)

Favorite animal: Humpback whale

Go-to karaoke song: She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Neurosurgeon! Or a Twitch streamer HAHA

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?  Ahhh probably coffee, I love tea but I need my coffee </3

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting! Clearly the superior superpower I don’t take constructive criticism.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? This is weirdly specific, but I would love to be in Scotland during the 1700’s. Alternatively, the 1980’s.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 100%. I know everything happens for a reason but getting a redo and being able to fix all the big mistakes I made would be pretty nice.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken! 100 tiny horses would be crazy tiring.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I would probably be the gay side character that gives good emotional advice but is hella lonely LMAO

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes, both!

What are some small things that make your day better? Driving with the windows down and music blasting, picking up coffee, playing video games, & talking to my internet friends on Discord.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I discovered my love for writing through Warrior Cats roleplay😭

What fandom(s) do you write for? Right now, only Kpop, but I wouldn’t mind writing for 5SOS or some of my other fandoms!

When did you post your first piece? On WattPad, December 2015. On Tumblr, April 2018 :)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write everything! Fluff/smut/crack is my favorite and slight angst (usually just slow burn though cus I’m soft).

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? Again, I write anything and everything! Currently, second or third person reader inserts are my main style, but I also do ships and would love to write more OCs.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Before Tumblr, I was on WattPad for different fandoms but eventually fell off. Then, when I got into Kpop in 2017, I found that urge to write again and decided to move to Tumblr since WattPad was becoming… weird. Plus Tumblr was a better fit for me!

What inspires you to write? To be completely honest, it’s the little things throughout the day that inspire me. For example, “Honey” was inspired by me not being able to open my locker in high school. “I Hemoglobin You” was based off my friend giving me a head rub while I was donating blood. Kpop idols just so happen to be my muses that I like to put into random moments of inspiration!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? High school or college AUs are my favorite, along with some good ol’ friends to lovers slow burn. Angst isn’t my forte so I usually just stick to fluff, smut, and some crack. I haven’t written any but fantasy AUs are some of my favorites too! (RIP to my League of Legends AU that I started and haven’t touched in months.)

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Just like other fanfiction authors inspire me, I hope some of my work inspires others. Considering fanfiction is free, there is so much out there to read and when I find a good story that inspires ME to write better, I’d love for my writing to do the same.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 3 options: 1) Skip that scene and jump ahead to one I’m excited to write; 2) Erase what part I’m on and completely redo it; or 3) Drop it. The majority of my works usually take a few months to write as I will completely stop working on it until I find the right inspiration again. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? “Four” is definitely my favorite work. It’s one of my longer pieces and there was a lot of raw emotion in there on my end. I love the relationship between Hyunjin and the reader and especially love the ending. “Greatest Gift” for Chanyeol is my most successful, and one of my other favorites!

Who is your favorite person to write about? Easily Hwang Hyunjin. It’s so easy to place him in any of my works, and sometimes it’s a struggle to NOT write him. It sounds stupid but sometimes I really feel like I “know” him so being able to describe him physically and mentally is easy for me.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. Yes, because most of the time, fanfiction is totally original as well and requires just as much thought as a 400,000 word novel. No, because fanfiction uses a specific person as a muse.

What do you think makes a good story? Detail and realistic dialogue! Of course, everyone has their own style of writing, but detail is especially important to me. Sure, you can have a great plot, but having concise, detailed writing to get immersed into makes a story so much better. I also find realistic dialogue to be a big deal— I hate when teenage characters are speaking in deep analogies because, if we’re being honest, my daily language is 95% just “Bruh.” If you’re like me, I’d actually prefer realistic dialogue over anything else.

What is your writing process like? Process… yikes. Sometimes… I have a random thought and then I’m like… hell yeah let’s write that. I actually have no process. I don’t outline, I just start writing and keep writing until I’m finished. Then I’ll read it all over to make edits, then I’ll use the Read Aloud feature to catch any mistakes I missed, then I’ll run it through Grammarly before posting!

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Hm, maybe? In the future, possibly, but as of right now I wouldn’t use any of my fics to do so.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Oh, gosh, tropes. Gotta love them. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, stuck together (AKA forced to share a bed), and fake relationships are my favorites. They may be corny, but I also love truth or dare or 7 minutes in heaven games in fics cus… they’re just classics. Also love fics with a popular x shy pairing. I can’t say I dislike many tropes, but I definitely have a love/hate relationship with vampire and werewolf tropes because of how romanticized they are.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Hm, to be completely honest, only a little bit? I mainly write for myself, it’s like a guilty pleasure to just get all my thoughts and desires out, and then I just so happen to make it public on Tumblr. Nevertheless, receiving comments and asks actually make my day, and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around people enjoying my writing! So, thank you to everyone who has ever left me a kind message, I truly appreciate it ♥

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Getting involved! I think one of the best ways to grow is to join networks, which not only gives you the opportunity to share your work on a greater scale, but also allows you to make connections. Like real life, making connections and making friendships with other writers can play a huge role in growing as a writer and growing your account.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes :( As someone who’s involved with other fandoms, I’ve heard the way some people think of fanfiction and it’s really sad. People do not know how much goes into writing and just see it as cringey and disgusting when it’s just… not.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Yes! In all its forms, art is something a creator can use to influence their audience (in a good way, hopefully).

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Like I said in #40, I mainly write for myself. Even when I’m writing a request, chances are if I like the request enough I’m going to create a story out of it that fits my personal desires the most.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  No! However, I’d still consider myself a small account and do not have TOO many works posted. But so far, I don’t think I’ve faced this problem :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Only a few! My best friend Maggie is on Tumblr with me and only 2 of my other pals know I write fanfiction.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? How much I love each and every one of them for supporting me and sticking around even when I won’t post for months🥺❤️

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t psych yourself out! In the time I’ve spent on Tumblr, I’ve never received any substantial hate. My main advice is don’t write fanfiction to get popular on the app, write fanfiction because you love to write and love your muses!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? No, as much as Tumblr can be annoying at times, I love the people I’ve met and the content I’ve found and wouldn’t have wanted to use any other platform.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? @pinktea99 — Mo, you’ve been around since the beginning honestly, and without you I wouldn’t have been able to come out of my shell! Thank you for all your love & support & for being my SF9 buddy❤️

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“Like mate, stop procrastinating.” — 3RACHA

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis]

Caught In Between: 05. Dinner Party

IMPORTANT!!! This is content from my original blog @hyperion-moonbabe​ . It’s being reposted here as this is now my main blog.

Summary: Athena Dumont has finally found a place to call home after many years of foster homes and traveling. She had finally tamed her supernatural side and just wanted to live a normal teenage life. She quickly discovers that there is nothing normal about her hometown, Mystic Falls and gets sucked right back into the supernatural world.

Post Date: 04.03.20

Word count: 3k

Based off: 02x15 “The Dinner Party”

Masterlist

I wake up to a loud knock on my door, “What?!” I sleepily ask yelling from my bed.

“Damon just wanted me to make sure you’re up, so you can come with us to the grill,” Damon’s new personal blood bag, Andie Star, said politely from the other side. I do have to say Andie is very nice and I really don’t approve how Damon is using her, she doesn’t deserve it. I just ignored her and turned to go back to sleep. A few minutes later I heard the door open but ignore it.

“Hey, sleepyhead you’re coming with Andie and I to meet Ric at the grill,” Damon says clearly annoyed. The only response I give him was a pillow thrown to his face.

“Come on, get up,” Damon says struggling to lift me from the bed, but I just ragdoll.

“I don’t wanna,” I pout like a five-year-old. “Why am I always stuck with you?” I ask finally lifting my own body weight.

“Because you just are. Now get ready we’re leaving in 10,” Damon leaves without shutting my door, forcing me to get up if I wanted any privacy.

I get dressed and meet Damon and Andie downstairs. We make our way over to the Mystic Grill and find a table to sit down at with Alaric. I take a seat next to Alaric while Andie and Damon sit in the booth, we start to take about how Elijah had a visit with Elena’s aunt, Jenna, “Other than your lecture on the history of Mystic Falls, did you get anything out of Elijah?” Damon questions Alaric.

“No, it was boring. Of course, Jenna thinks he’s charming,” Alaric responds annoyed at Jenna’s opinion on him.

“You sounded jealous. Sound a bit jealous?” Damon asks turning to Andie. I just roll my eyes at how he has to point out everything.

“Kinda do,” Andie agrees.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this here,” Alaric says and glances at Andie slightly.

“I can agree with that,” I glance over at Andie as well.

“Andie, she’s been compelled not to divulge my secrets. Haven’t you?” Damon responds putting his arm around her back as they kiss. I just silently gag to myself at how gross they’re being.

“Mmm. My lips are sealed,” Andies says with a slight baby voice.

“This is just gross,” I say and glance over at Alaric who has a disgusted look as well.

“Ah, there’s Jenna with her new boyfriend. Hi.” Damon says as he catches Jenna’s and Elijah’s attention.

“Hey, guys,” Jenna says as they make their way over to our table.

“So, I hear you two had quite a meeting of historical minds today,” Damon states.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Jenna says clearly not knowing how to respond and Elijah just smiles trying to act well, not him.

“Well, as much as I’d like to continue this, I’ve got papers to grade,” Alaric says as he puts some money on the table and starts to get up.

“And I have better places to be, Damon you’ll be handling my bill, right?” I say and start to get up as well.

“No, you know what? We should continue this. Let’s have a dinner party,” Andie suggests.

“Ooh, my girl. Full of good ideas. I’ll be happy to host. Say tonight. Maybe?” Damon suggests even further.

“It’s good for me. Jenna?” Andie questions.

“I don’t know if tonight works–” Alaric starts.

“Yeah, I’m free,” Jenna interrupts not wanting Alaric to answer for her.  She and Alaric make faces at each other.

“It’d be a pleasure,” Elijah says accepting the invite graciously.

“Well, have fun. I’m sure, you being adults, won’t want a–” I say before I’m interrupted.

“No, I think it’d be great for you to join us, Athena,” Andie adds.

“Another good idea from my girl. Great,” Damon says not letting me out of it.

Damon, Andie and I head back to the house, “Now how about my two girls prepare for the party tonight and get to know each other. I need to make a little visit to a very unpleasurable doppelganger,” Damon says as he gathers some items up.

“I’m not your girl,” I respond and roll my eyes at him. Damon continues to gather stuff up and head out the door.

“You know as much as Damon teases and is mean to you, he does care about you,” Andie says as we make our way to the kitchen.

“Says the blood bag, no offense. I mean you really don’t deserve this,” I say back.

“None taken. But I do care for him actually, he does need someone there for him. I wanna be that person. He may compel me but he can’t tell me what to think,” She explains.

“I see what you mean. I was in the same boat with him two years ago. I just don’t want to see you hurt,” I say as I start to prepare some food.

“Thank you,” She responds as she helps me prepare the food.

Andie and I continue to talk, prepare and cook food. A few hours pass and we hear the doorbell ring, I go to open it to find Alaric and Jenna at the door with a half-done dessert in hand. Andie and Jenna go to set up the dining table while Damon and Alaric talk in the library. I go upstairs to prepare myself for seeing more of Andie and Damon together, that and make myself a little more presentable.

I make my way down to the dining hall, “Anything I can help with?” I ask looking between Andie and Jenna, and take notice of John Gilbert.

“Nope, everything’s all set up,” Jenna responds clasping her hands together.

I smile at both of them and make my way into the great room and find Damon there. The doorbell rings once again and I go to open it up with Damon following close behind. I find Elijah standing in the doorway and feel Damon’s presence as he stands right behind me.

“Good Evening,” Elijah greets.

“Thank you for coming. Please, come in.” Damon says unnervingly pippy.

“Just one moment. Can I just say that if you have less than honorable intentions about how this evening is going to proceed, I suggest you reconsider,” Elijah states coldly.

“No, nothing, nothing dishonorable. Just getting to know you,” Damon responds in a weirdly nice tone.

“I made sure of it,” I reassure Elijah and smile at him, hoping it lessens the tension.

“Hmm. Well, that’s good,” Elijah says and enters the house as Damon and I move out of the way. “Because, you know, although Elena and I have this deal, if you so much as make a move to cross me, I’ll kill you and I’ll kill everyone in this house. Are we clear?” Elijah states with a colder voice as I think that he would actually kill me, but I guess I could never know.

“Guys lets just get to know each other and enjoy the wonderful dinner Andie and I prepared,” I say annoyed, looking between them as they glare at each other from either side of me.

“Crystal,” Damon responds sounding a bit scared and ignoring my comment.

I walk away and towards Jenna who’s waiting in the hallway. Elijah greets her and we all make our way over to the dinner table. I lead everyone into the kitchen to serve the food and we all settle back into our seats at the table. Jenna, Andie and I on one side, Alaric and Elijah on the other, and John and Damon each at the ends of the table.

“I hate to break it to you, Damon and Athena, but according to Elijah, your families are so not founders of this town,” Jenna says as she pours Damon a glass of wine.

“Hmm, do tell,” Damon says but clearly not interested.

“Well, as I mentioned to Jenna earlier, A faction of settlers migrated from Salem after the witch trials in the 1690s. Over the next hundred years, they developed this community where they could feel safe from persecution,” Elijah explains to all of us while we begin to eat.

“Hmm. Because they were witches,” Jenna adds.

“Yeah, but there’s no tangible proof there were witches in Salem,” Andie says disbelievingly.

“Andie’s a Journalist. Big on facts.” Damon says trying to boast her while making a face at Elijah.

“Well, the lore says that there was this wave of anti-witch hysteria. It broke out in the neighboring settlement, so these witches were rounded up. They were tied to stakes in a field together and, uh, burned. Some say you could hear the screams from miles around us. They were consumed by the fire. Could you pass the…” Elijah explains.

“I wouldn’t repeat this to the Historical Society,” Jenna chuckles.

“I don’t think they’d enjoy Elijah’s story, going back on their history,” I chuckle.

“It’s starting to sound a little like a ghost story to me,” John Gilbert says.

“So, why do you want to know the location of these alleged massacres?” Damon asks trying to get information out.

“You know…a healthy historian’s curiosity, of course,” Elijah responds not giving any information up.

We continue to make small conversation and finish up our meal. As we start to clean up Andie suggests that the guys should drink in the library, which makes me think they’re up to something. But not wanting to cause any problems with Alaric and Jenna or be wrong about anything, I keep my mouth shut and help clean the table. After we finish cleaning up, Alaric comes up to me with information from Stefan.

“Athena, Damon’s going to try to kill Elijah tonight, with a dagger and some white ash. We need to stop him,” Alaric whispers to me urgently.

“That asshole, I should’ve known. Even though I have some care for Elijah, I know this needs to end. I don’t want any of you hurt, Let’s go.” I say and we start to head to the library.

We hear Damon and Elijah talking as we walk into the library, “Gentlemen, we forgot about dessert,” Alaric says making his way over to them, making a cover.

“Elijah,” I say as I hold my hand out to him, to lead him back to the dining room.

“Athena,” Elijah says handing his drink to Damon. He comes over and takes my hand and pulls me towards the dining room.

“So have you thought about my deal?” He asks quiet enough so Damon couldn’t hear.

“Yeh, and I can’t risk my friends here. I want to protect them, they’re like my family,” I respond.

“I understand, but I’m your family too,” Elijah says, but I don’t respond as we make it back into the room where Andie, Jenna, and John were.

“Sorry, guys dessert is taking longer than I thought. I usually just unwrap food,” She says while pouring a cup of coffee.

“Let me help you,” I say as Andie, Elijah, and John take their seats at the table and I follow Jenna into the kitchen.

We make some small talk while I help Jenna finish the dessert. We walk out of the kitchen with the dessert to find that Elijah was gone, “Where’s Elijah?” I ask looking at Damon, suspiciously.

“He had some work to attend to,” Damon says, but I give him a look that tells him I don’t believe him.

“I forgot my drink in the kitchen. I’ll be right back,” I say and nod my head for Damon to follow.

I make our way into the kitchen and wait for Damon to follow in, “What did you do?” I whisper upset.

“What do you mean?” Damon dismisses my question.

“I know Elijah, did not just leave to do work. So… what… did… you… do?” I ask him one more time more upset.

“Ok, fine. You caught me. I and by I, I mean Alaric may have given Elijah a little poke with a dagger,” Damon finally gives up after a few moments of silence.

“Did you guys happen to leave the dagger in? Because if you want him actually ‘dead’ then you need to leave the dagger in,” I explain to him finally feeling the info I had was helpful. He just makes a ‘really’ face at me as his phone starts to ring.

“What Stefan?” Damon answers his call. “Yeh, I know. Athena just told me,” He hangs up and starts to rush off.

I follow him into the cellar, which is where they stored him, well, tried. Once we make our way down to the cellar, we find it empty. Damon just looks at me with an upset face, “We need to get to Elena and Stefan now. If Elijah’s going anywhere, it’s wherever Elena is,” I say walking away from Damon.

We quickly get rid of Alaric, Jenna, John, and Andie but try not to raise any suspicion. Damon grabs the dagger off the table and we drive over to the Gilbert Lakehouse to warn Elena and Stefan, “I can guarantee that If Elijah has witches that he’ll be making his way over here right now,” I tell them.

“Well, there’s not enough time to leave,” Stefan states.

“What if we draw him out so we can dagger him again? Athena and Damon hide, so he only thinks Stefan and I are here. I can try to reason with him and since he’s mad at Damon, he might not comply. I’ll tell him that if he doesn’t I’ll stab myself… ” Elena starts to explain.

“What? Not an option,” I say turning to her.

“I’m gonna have to agree,” Damon says.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Stefan adds.

“Just listen, I’ll tell him that I’ll stab myself, Stefan would heal me and then I’d kill myself to become a vampire. Rendering me useless to Klaus and therefore Elijah. I can then stab myself to make him agree to a new deal, then once I can get close enough, I’ll stab him with the dagger, killing him,” Elena finishes taking the dagger from Damon’s hand.

“And how can we be sure that he’d fall for this plan of yours?” Damon questions.

“Well, I know Elijah. He needs Elena so it’s pretty soundproof in my mind,” I state looking at Elena upset, not wanting her to put herself in harm’s way.

“I trust Athena. If she thinks its a good idea, then we should go with it. Anyone got any better ideas?” Stefan asks looking between us.

“I mean I don’t, Damon?”  I ask in response. But he just sighs and walks away as I follow him.

I follow Damon into another room, “We’re just gonna let her sacrifice herself?” He asks me distressed.

“It’ll all work itself out, and if it doesn’t I’ll go with Elijah,” I explain trying to calm him.

“That is not an option either!” He yells at me getting right up to my face.

“Well, it’s the only other option I can think of. I mean he wants me–” I start before I’m cut off by Damon covering my mouth. Elijah must be here.

Damon and I head upstairs in order to keep ourselves from being found. As we continue our way up the stairs we hear a loud noise of the door being torn down. We listen to the conversation that Elijah and Elena are having as we wait upstairs for the plan to be finished. We hear Elena scream in pain as we can hear her stab herself. And the next thing we hear is Elijah screams in pain as he is stabbed with the white oak dagger. Damon and I quietly but quickly make our way downstairs to make sure Elena was ok.

“Little tip. Don’t pull the dagger out.” Damon says stating the obvious.

Elena and Stefan pack up their stuff as Damon and I figure out how to get Elijah’s body in his car. We all make our way back over to the Salvatore house. Damon and Stefan take Elijah’s body downstairs to the cellar as Elena and I follow close behind.

“Are you ok?” I ask her.

“Yeh are you? I mean I know you guys are like fam–”

“We did what we had to do. I’m not letting anyone hurt you guys, you’re my family” I interrupt her. Damon and Stefan put Elijah’s body on the ground, as soon they set him down, Damon searches Elijah’s pockets.

“What do we have here?” Damon says while he pulls the moonstone out of one of the pockets. “A little moonstone bar of soap. I’ll hold on to this.” He says getting up from his crouched position.

“So that’s it. I mean, as long as we keep the dagger in there, then he stays dead.” Elena states.

“As far as I know, yes,” I respond.

“Okay then, good night,” Elena says and starts to walk out before she turns around and looks at Stefan and Damon, “You know, you guys want me to fight, Fine, I’ll fight. But if we’re gonna do this, you can’t keep anything from me anymore. From this moment on, we’re doing it my way.” Elena protests.

“That seems fair,” Damon says, but I can tell he could care less about doing it her way.

“Okay,” Stefan agrees.

I follow Elena out of the cellar, “You know I had nothing to do with Damon’s little plan until it happened right?” I ask her making sure she knows I won’t try anything.

“Yeh, I know,”

“Hey, I know you want to do this your way. But if it comes down to it and the Originals need or want me. I don’t want you to get hurt trying to save me. I’ll fight them your way, if you respect the way I wanna fight them on my own battlefront, Okay?” I stop Elena halfway in the hall.

“Okay,” She says, hesitantly agreeing to my terms.

I head upstairs to “my bedroom” and try to get to sleep early knowing that I have school tomorrow, which I dread over all this other stuff.

A/N: Here is part 5, based on 02x15 “The Dinner Party”.  I know this was a big-time jump from the last part, but episodes 12-14 seemed like filler to me, and I didn’t want to spend time writing those parts, so here we are. I know Athena kinda seems like she’s in the background but she’ll get her spotlight soon. I may skip another episode or two, but I’ll have to see how I wanna plan things out. Please let me know what you guys think of the series so far, any feedback is great. Also, let me know if anyone would like me to start a taglist. I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading. Stay safe and healthy!

Bonus Content~ Here is a screenshot of Ian/Damon while I was going through the episode. I thought it was worth sharing:

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 34)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33

Part 35: here

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A dismissive hand is waved in Vivi’s direction, “I swear sometimes it’s like listening to a broken record with you people. Why do you think yelling commands at me will do anything? What’s in it for me?”

“Is he okay?” Lewis interrupts what was sure to be a longwinded spiel of thinly veiled insults aimed at Vivi and humanity in general. If there’s one thing Arthur understands about the entity controlling him, it’s that its opinion of humans is damn low.

“Who?” The demon taunts, attention moving off Vivi to Lewis, grinning, sounding several times more patronising than usual.

‘No. I’m not okay…nothing is okay.’ Arthur answers quietly, staring longingly at Lewis’s profile.

Lewis clenches his jaw and Arthur can almost hear his teeth grinding together.

“Arthur. Is Arthur okay?”

“OHHH. That ‘he,’” An exaggerated eye role follows, and Arthur feels a creeping disgust directed towards Lewis’s display of concern. “You should be more specific.”

The demon leans forward, putting pressure on the knife, smile falling, “I’d worry more about yourself. Arthur’s not the one with a knife in his side.”

Lewis winces, shying away as much as the knife allows, eyes shining with worry and slight fear. Arthur watches helplessly, wishing Lewis were anywhere else. They’d been so close to just running away and leaving this all behind.

‘Why are you here? Lewis why?’ He can’t kill Lewis. Not again.

“Is…is Arthur still there?” Lewis continues, freezing when knife twitches as the demon inches in closer. A warning growl from Mystery has the bastard hesitating, pulling back again, licking its lips in frustration. The nervous tick must be from a previous host because it’s not one of Arthur’s habits.

Addressing both Mystery and Lewis, the demon raises its free hand to make a loose ‘calm down’ motion accompanied by a disarming smile.

“Whoa. Hey. Chill. I’ve done nothing…Yet. Nothing at all. Me and Arthur? We’ve been getting along swimmingly. The best of friends.”

Disbelief is reflected across everyone’s face, even Mystery looks unimpressed.

“You expect me to believe that crap after stabbing my boyfriend!” Vivi yells in indignation, “You’re the one that attacked Uncle Lance, aren’t you.” Her expression darkens with visible rage, eyes narrow.

“You possessed that leather-wearing, biker-weirdo and threatened Arthur for…” She hesitates, “…some reason, I don’t know why, but you’re the reason he’s been nervous and jumpy recently. Then you got tired of waiting for whatever, and you attacked Uncle Lance and jumped into Arthur when he came to check up on him. After that, you tried to kill both your previous hosts.”

The accusation elicits a spark of surprise which is one part his own and one part the demon's. For someone Arthur assumed to be entirely in the dark, she is surprisingly accurate. An edge of wariness creeps in amongst the surprise which is accompanied by a more appraising once over. The demon’s focus moves entirely off Lewis.

“Viv, can I call you Viv?”

“No.” Vivi snaps, glaring.

“Viv it is!… You’re more right than you think and also waaayy off the mark,” A smirk is thrown at Mystery, “I’ll admit, I did do a bit of jumping around before landing in Arthur here, and there are some very interesting circumcises surrounding that. However, I’ve only been around these parts for a day or two at most so any odd behaviour before that can’t have been me now can it.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Psh. Why would I lie now of all times? And if I'm not lying, it begs the question…Why was Arthur acting so strangely?”

The demon is searching for something, Arthur realises as it scans Vivi, taking in how she falters ever so briefly. Whatever it wants, it’s probably nothing good. ‘Leave her alone!’ He tries interrupting, and only gets the barest of acknowledgements, leaving him to anxiously watch.

“Don’t you want to know why Arthur’s been acting so out of character? Like someone’s flipped a switch on his personality… Like he’s not quite himself…forgetful even. Because now is the only chance you’ll get to discover the truth.”

“You do want to know why, right?”

Lightning forks through the clouds, closer now. A light wind is beginning to kick up swirls of dust. That storm they’d left behind back at Kingsman Mechanics is catching up to them. Vivi’s hesitation transitions into disquiet, and she squints at Arthur. He can see her processing the information, analysing it. Arthur’s not sure what she already knows, but going off how easily she’d taken the whole ‘possession’ thing, it’s probably something substantial. He has no idea how, but she does. It is such a classic Vivi thing. She just has this habit of figuring things out, attracting information and fitting clues together. That’s what he loves about her, even if he wishes that, right now, she wouldn’t.

It takes Vivi a second as she struggles against her blatant curiosity, but eventually, her expression clears.

“No. I don’t.” Vivi declares, pointing with great vigour, “Not from you, you parasite. Arthur, he’s been a bit odd…but he’s still Arthur, and I trust Arthur more than I trust you. Until I hear it from him, I’m going to continue thinking that. So how about you get out of my friend before I exorcise the crap out of you!”

Arthur aches at her words. Why’d she have to go and say that? It makes him feel even worse for lying and not telling her the truth right away.

“A shame,” Some of the demon’s interest fades to exasperation, and it nods to Lewis instead, “What about you big guy? Do you want to know why your best friend is terrified by your mere presence? Last chance to find out.”

Lewis, who has been mostly still, trying to examine Arthur, takes a short breath. For a second Arthur can see the need in his eyes before a quick glance at Vivi seems to snap him out of it.

“Arthur.” Lewis says deliberately, “If you can hear me. It’s okay. I don’t care what secrets you’ve been keeping. You can fight this.”

‘No. I can’t.’  

“Oh, please.” Arthur doesn’t like how dark and hateful his voice turns, lowing to become more threatening. “What do you think pathetic Artie’s been doing all this time? Honestly, I think you should let the girl talk. All this Lewis hype I’ve suffered through being stuck in his head, and you’re a complete letdown. I should do us both a favour and kill you now. In fact, I think I will.”

Lewis recoils and, for a horrible second, Arthur thinks the demon is going to go through with the threat.

/Enough!/

The sharp command echoes about Arthur’s head, made magically loud, ringing comfortably in his ears. He’s never heard Mystery that angry. Not that he’d had too many conversations with Mystery in the original time-line as the dog has always made a point of keeping himself reserved and distant. Right now, the telepathic voice is cold, brittle with contained rage. Mystery’s eyes flare when he speaks, and the air hums with latent supernatural power, prickling along their skin. Of course, the demon doesn’t share in Arthur’s gut fear reaction, even if it remains apprehensive.

“Finally. I was beginning to think you’d just let this shit show go on forever. No offence,” A glance at Vivi, “You're fun to mess with, but I’ve got places to be.”

/Be quiet. Abomination. Your words are poison. /

“How about you make me, mutt. Go on. I dare you.”

The wide-eyed, confused expressions being shared by Lewis and Vivi tells Arthur that it is only him and the demon who are hearing Mystery’s voice. To Lewis and Vivi, it probably looks like Arthur is having a one-sided conversation with thin air.

Vivi voices her confusion, raising a hand. “Ah? Who are you…” She gets cut off.

“Hey. Don’t interrupt. Mum and dad are talking.” The demon orders, keeping its attention on Mystery’s angry glowing eyes, “Kids, so needy amiright.”

Mystery growls again, and the sound is lost when thunder rolls through the clouds overhead. Arthur’s teeth rattle. The fur along the dog’s back stands on end, also beginning to radiate red energy.

/Release Lewis unharmed, and I will see that you are sealed painlessly so that you may sleep away the rest of your unnatural existence./

“You’re a bit rusty at this whole bargaining thing, aren’t you? Why the hell would I give up one of my best chips for a dud deal like that?” A scoff.

/If you do not accept I will do my very best to rip you into so many pieces, that you’ll have barely the strength to possess a fly./

“Big words from the dog, but can you back them up?”

There is an elongated pause after the taunt. Vivi has fallen uncharacteristically silent. With his eyes locked onto Mystery, Arthur can’t see either of his friend’s expressions but he’s sure it’s nothing good. Way past the point of panic, all he can do is sit, frozen into a tight ball of wound up tension, like any move he makes might get Lewis killed.

“I didn’t think so,” The demon sneers when Mystery doesn’t respond, “You guardian spirits, you talk a big game but when one of your wards is threatened you go all soft. So weirdly attached. It makes you weak.” That feeling of disgust returns.

“How about I make a counter deal. Obviously, my original night’s itinerary isn’t going to fly right now so how about this: You keep the big idiot and the girl, and I pop on off, bide my time, and attempt to kill you all later. I’ll call it a reschedule.”

/Unacceptable./

“OOORRR! I kill Lewis right now, and you’ll what, exorcise me? Seal me up?  You’d have to extract me first. That would be a lot of soul digging because I’m pretty much settled now. Poor pathetic Artie wouldn’t survive it,” A dark grin, “I’d make sure of it.”

The dull red glow outlining Mystery intensifies, shimmering like water. Arthur wonders why he hasn’t transformed yet. It definitely looks like he wants to.

“Two out of three humans is pretty generous in my books.”

One part frustrated, one part scared, Arthur churns anxiously. Yes. Take the deal. Let him go. He isn’t worth all this. Honestly, just the fact that Lewis and his family might survive the night is good enough for him. The silence flowing stretches, broken by another low rumble of thunder further off in the distance. Come on Mystery. Take the deal

/What are the terms./ Mystery finally spits to Arthur’s immense relief and the demon’s satisfaction.

“I have till sunrise to get as far away from here as possible. No pursuit. I won’t take any action to harm a human for the same duration, excluding possession of course.”

“NO!”

The shout draws their attention to Vivi who lunges forward. Mystery snaps at her legs, baring his teeth.

/Stay back Vivi!/ The dog orders and Vivi stumbles, alarmed. Her alarm shifts quickly into a scowl, obviously having heard Mystery's voice that time.

“What are you doing! You can’t let this thing go!” She tries to argue, voice strained, but Mystery has already swung his head back around to stare at the demon again.

“Clocks ticking…” The demon prompts, jerking the knife in an abrupt movement. Lewis gasps, almost doubling over, his eyes closed in obvious pain. He is pale, and Arthur can now see red blood seeping through his shirt, darkening the cloth.

/I accept, on the condition that I can talk to Arthur first. /

“Ha! Deal!"

An odd jolt of something akin to electricity shoots through Arthur's chest, constricting above his heart. The demon shakes the unpleasant sensation off with a practised ease, motioning impatiently.

"Well, hurry up, I’ll give you a minute. I’ve wasted enough time tonight.”

Mystery shoots the demon another furious glare before his expression softens marginally. Arthur, still a frozen ball of anxiety, waits, wondering what the next step of this is going to be. Is he going to be put back in control? Arthur’s not even sure if he wants it now. Not in front of Lewis and Vivi looking equal parts angry, scare and horrified. He’d probably just start crying or something equally embarrassing. Uncertainly, he shifts about, testing the metaphysical walls around him.

/Arthur?/ Mystery’s voice tickles the edge of the barrier separating him from his body, causing odd waves to ripple out towards him. When Arthur looks out to meet the dog’s gaze, it’s like Mystery is seeing past the demon and staring right at him.

‘Yes?’ Arthur tries. About him, he feels the demon’s idle amusement as it watches.

‘You can hear me?’

There is a definite tone of relief in Mystery’s next sentence. / You are still there. Thank goodness. I feared the worst./

It throws Arthur for a second. Why does Mystery sound so relieved? In this time-line, Arthur’s never treated him as anything but a dog, so there’s not really a reason for Mystery to sound so worried and upset.

/I know this may be confusing, but understand that I am profoundly sorry and I will do everything in my power to come for you.../

‘No!’ Arthur interrupts sharply. If Mystery comes after him then Vivi would as well. ‘Don’t. Just protect Vivi and Lewis and keep them as far away from me as possible.’

/ Arthur…/ Mystery tries to continue, more confused now.

‘Tell Vivi and Lewis I’m sorry,’ Arthur rushes to get through all the stuff he will probably never get to say, ‘I’m sorry for lying and hiding stuff. I’m sorry for worrying them. I’m sorry for all the trouble. Tell them it’s not their fault, and I’ll be fine.’ There he said it.

/You can tell them yourself. I will come for you Arthur. Do not give up hope./

‘It’s better this way,’ He says softly.

The connection is cut, and Arthur barely pays attention to the demon as it speaks out loud, “There you go. I told you we were the best of friends.”

/I will rip you apart. /

“You’re welcome to try dog breath. Just…not tonight,” A sly wink.

/There will be no hole on this earth deep enough for you to hide in./

“You can’t…” Lewis starts to protest, and the demon rips the knife out, cutting him off. The lager man groans and falls to one knee, reaching back to put a hand on the wound for pressure.

An energetic wave of farewell is directed at Vivi, “It’s been fun, but I think I’ll be on my way…” They step out of the torchlight and into the night so the dark folds in on them. Slowly, still facing the furiously snarling Mystery, they inch away from the Pepper Diner.

Vivi rushes forward to Lewis the moment Mystery lets her, helping to support his weight, checking his side. She rips the scarf from her neck and proceeds to wrap it around Lewis’s torso. 

“I’m fine,” Arthur hears Lewis pant, “Stop Arthur.” But Mystery has repositioned, blocking the way for both of them. Good.

It is almost a clean getaway. But, before the dark can fully envelop them, a harsh third voice interrupts the retreat.

“THINK AGAIN ASSHOLE…”

The unexpected shout has everyone jerking. 

“YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.”

The demon snaps Arthur’s head around so fast he feels his neck crack.

“Nobody move!”

Arthur stares at the bedraggled man limping out from behind the building, shot-gun raised pointed right at him. It takes a second, but Arthur recognises the scowly face of Micky. One of the supernatural hunters to threaten him way back when he had first arrived in this time-line. That seems so long along now. A lifetime away.

Irritation and annoyance overtake the demon’s smug satisfaction, turning to anger. There is recognition and Arthur realises that the shot-gun is his Uncle’s. Well, that explains one mystery. By this point in the evening, Arthur is too worn-out and frazzled to figure out why and how Micky is here of all places, but the man’s sudden appearance has drawn the demon’s full and undivided attention. For the first time since the start of this nightmare, Arthur finds himself completely free of surveillance.  

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NOTE: The gangs all here. Time for tense standoff no.2.

Also, sorry this took so long to complete, I’m getting my ass kicked by the education system.. Anyway, the next part is gonna take another 2-3 weeks so apologies in advance for the wait. I can say the next part is planned to be a Lewis POV. 

Part 35: here

[countessrivers]

do you have any headcanons for Bruce and his (many) father figures? would love to hear them if you do!!!

Canon era:

The first one, and it’s not so much a head canon as it is just canon but some people are idiots who clearly didn’t watch the show, after his parents’ death, Bruce got 2 new dads who co-parented him over the next 6-7 years. Their names are Alfred Pennyworth and Jim Gordon and they explain so much about who and what Bruce Wayne turns out to be.

They both parent/treat Bruce quite differently. Alfred very much treats Bruce like an adult. He lets Bruce take charge of his own life and make significant decisions about his health and well-being on his own (decisions that arguably 12 year olds, especially grieving 12 year olds maybe shouldn’t be making but w/e). He encourages Bruce to take responsibility for his choices, and for the consequences of his crime-fighting, and often focuses on the practicalities and limitations of what they’re doing, and in a wider sense, how Gotham and the world works. Things like trying to keep Bruce focused on preparing for Ra’s, rather than helping the city, warning him against getting other people involved and that it will be on Bruce if they’re hurt helping him, scepticism that anything good can get done within the law with all the corruption in Gotham, telling Bruce to buck up and move on after Selina lies to him/hurts him, letting Bruce reject therapy and grief counselling, etc. I think this stems at least in part from Alfred’s role as the family butler for the first 12 years of Bruce’s life. Bruce is both his ward and employer, there is a distance and a formality there, and this idea that Bruce is in charge of his own destiny as it were, and should be treated as such, with all the responsibility that goes along with that.

Jim, for all that he sees Bruce as a kind of moral true north, someone that he looks to for guidance and a purpose, views Bruce very much as a child, and treats him as such. And it’s probably because Bruce is a child, but maybe also, as the years go on too, because he’ll never get the image of 12 year old Bruce, in that alley, out of his head. Jim sees Bruce as someone who should be protected from the worst of the world. He’ll be honest with Bruce, but he’ll also try and shield him from as much as he can, like when he hesitates over him not being long for this world because Oswald is alive and Falcone/Zsasz are after him. Bruce will often ask or demand the truth, and while Jim often caves, he does what he can to protect Bruce from the harsher parts of reality. He clashes with Alfred quite regularly over this - over Bruce being exposed to the idea of killing Matches, over Alfred letting Bruce run around and put himself in danger (Jim actually tells Alfred that he’s the adult, and so he is allowed to search his son’s room and go through his stuff and read his diary if it keeps him from getting into trouble), things like that. He’ll often try to alleviate any guilt Bruce might be feeling, particularly when it involves someone getting hurt helping them, insisting that it wasn’t Bruce’s fault. I also see Jim as encouraging Bruce’s more idealistic side - he often tells him not to give up hope when they hit a wall and things look bleak, and their talks often involve the idea of the good that can be done, and how Gotham and its people can be helped, because I think that’s what drives Jim too - ideals, and a devotion to helping people, rather than practicalities. And these “parenting styles” kind of balance each other out, or at least Bruce picks up bits and pieces, and they noticeably shape him, but I actually find it hilarious that the show has multiple scenes, across multiple seasons, of Jim and Alfred arguing over how best to parent Bruce. 

Jim had a troubled youth after the accident/losing his father, and coped with it even worse than Bruce does, which is why he gets it. He looks at Bruce’s coping mechanisms, the way he’s hurting himself, his breakdowns, etc, and he gets it. He wants Bruce to stop, wants him to get help, to do better than he did, but he gets it. He knows how it feels. He did all of that, and more, and he knows you can’t just flick a switch and be better. He knows that the guilt and the anger and the pain eats away at you. He also knows that there’s a light at the end, and that’s what he tries to give Bruce from the start. Hope, and understanding that Bruce is struggling, desperate to feel or not feel, and it may be unhealthy, but Jim at least understands why.

Harvey’s not entirely sure when he started looking at Bruce as more than just that random kid whose parents died and that Jim was weirdly fond of, but at some point he did. The kid’s sweet, if a bit odd, freakishly smart, and all the worst best parts of Jim. He’s a good kid, and Harvey sometimes worries about what Gotham’s going to do to him. He worries about that goodness being ground out of Bruce, the way Harvey’s seen it ground out of so many people.

Lucius loved Thomas, and that’s not the only reason why he helps Bruce (Lucius himself is a good man, who wants to make the city better) but it’s part of it. He wants to keep Thomas’ boy safe, wants to help him grow up into a strong, beautiful, good man. Sometimes he looks as Bruce and he’ll see Thomas, sometimes he’ll see Martha, but he knows that both of them would be so proud of who Bruce becomes.

Jim and Bruce try as much as they can to get together for lunch or dinner or something, just to catch up (Jim eventually made it over to the manor for dinner at some point in S4). Alfred and Harvey meet up for drinks on the regular.

During No Man’s Land, Alfred, Harvey and Lucius took turns dragging both Jim and Bruce away from work to get them to eat and/or sleep. They’d work themselves into the ground if they could. They’d also both insist on the other getting some rest, even as they stubbornly tried to carry on themselves.

Idk who gave Bruce the sex talk, but I know that whoever it was, it would have been terrible and awkward (was it Jim and did he warn Bruce about the perils of falling for beautiful people who were also crazy and/or evil and at least a little homicidal? Not that Bruce, or Jim for that matter would ever take the advice).

When Jim tells Bruce off for risking his life or putting himself needlessly in harms way, Bruce has to try really hard not to shout “I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU DAD!”

The show kind of dropped the ball on exploring this, but there’s no way Bruce  didn’t pick up at least a few detective skills from Jim.

Bruce and his various father figures are just basically that one cartoon where two people are stretching and bending over each other to put themselves in front of a gun.

They all miss Bruce terribly when he leaves.

Bruce would have liked the moustache.

Future (Batfam) headcanons:

Babs feels like she knows Bruce long before she meets him because she’s spent the first 9 years of her life hearing Jim talk about him.

Bruce comes over to the Gordon-Thompkins for dinner not long after the finale, meets Babs properly for the first time, and immediately falls in love. Barbara Lee Gordon has Uncle Bruce wrapped around her finger (she has them all wrapped around her finger).

Jim knows Bruce is Batman, that’s established in the finale, but for a while they dance around the subject, not saying anything outright. He talks about it a bit more openly with Harvey, Lucius too maybe, but both him and Bruce avoid talking about it directly. He does thank him though, to his face, for saving Babs.

That night at the circus, Bruce tells Dick the same thing that Jim told him. He sits down next to him, tells him his name, tells him he understands, and tells him that one day, there will be light.

I can’t decide who ultimately puts the symbol on the floodlight, but Jim’s the one that starts using it to call Batman.

Bruce has stuck tracking devices in all of them, long before he starts doing it to his kids. Jim in particular is prone to kidnapping, and it’s honestly such a time saver.

Jim and Bruce both start not so secretly planning the wedding once it becomes clear that Dick and Babs like-like each other. They’re thrilled about it (if the wedding does happen, then Harvey’s officiating).

The cops, especially those that work in whatever building the Commissioner’s office is in, know the various Wayne kids about as well as they know Babs, because they’re in and out and always hanging around. Particularly Cass, who splits her time mainly between Bruce, and Babs and Jim.

There are regular dinners over at the Manor. The Waynes and the Gordons, usually, but often enough Harvey or Lucius will be there too. For any big holiday they celebrate early, given that they’ll all need to be ready and on hand because of course the Rogues are going to try and ruin Christmas by poisoning the water supply or something else over the top and ridiculous. 

So much of what Batman is stems from that original conversation with Jim. Bruce never forgets, never stops thinking about those words. The trauma of his parents’ death shaped him, but he was shaped just as much by a single cop sitting down next to him, being kind, and promising not just justice, but light and hope as well. Bruce wanting to be that, whether as Batman or Bruce Wayne. Offering it to the city, the victims he saves as Batman, his own children.

They’re family okay. They’re all just one big loving family that also happens to fight crime, sometimes while wearing a cape.

Bonus: Oswald is by no means a father figure to Bruce, but he’s undeniably fond of him, admires his good, kind heart. He sees a lot of Jim in him, which is part of it, but he also, for everything that he himself is, just appreciates that in others (it part of what has always drawn him back to Jim).

[jaqfms]

there's     jacques    ‘jaq’    daingerfield   !     though     on    their     socials     they     go     by     @thedangerousq     .     i     heard     he     is     originally     from     paris     ,     france     ,     but     made     the     big     move     to     los     angeles     to     join     TWENTIES     .     you     haven't     heard     about     it     ?   well     ,     apparently     their     dream     is     to     design     his     own     video     game   ,     but     they     have     no     chance   unless     they     quit     being     so     cocky     &     lazy     .     that     said     ,     those     behind     the     scenes     have     said     they     can     be     witty     &     charismatic     too.     guess     we'll     have     to     watch     and     find     out     !     ━     &    laughing     until     you     cry     ,          a     cartoon     theme     song     paired     with     a     hip     hop     beat     ,     a     juul     behind     your     ear     ,     vines     quoted     in     a     thick     french     accent     .    (     timothee     chalamet     ,     cis male     ,     he/him     )   (     pepper    ,     she/her + they/them     ,     est     ,     twenty four     )

ABOUT THE MUN.  are ya in a relationship? you think i can convince someone to do that?

hello, it’s me again. i tired myself out with haisley’s so jaq’s if going to be considerably shorter. let’s go. 

BIO.  aaaahhhhhhhhhh shhiiittttt *begins understanding things*

jacques daingerfield was born in france to two very average parents. like his mother was a teacher and his father was a financial analyst. nothing wild or crazy going on there, and to top it off he was the middle child, and well, you can tell. 

he has four siblings. he was the third kid, and well, he spent most of his childhood fighting for any kind of attention, usually by making inappropriate little jokes or you know, fart noises. yes his parents were generally exasperated with him, but that behavior made sure they paid attention to him. and honestly that was all jacques wanted. 

again, jacques had a pretty average upbringing. he went to school, he was actually pretty popular among his peers despite being so annoying (definitely very unpopular amongst his teachers for generally that class clown that sat in the back and always interrupted), and he excelled academically without really trying too much. well, in every subject but english funnily enough. jaq always struggled in english, which is why it was incredibly ironic that when his parents separated they decided to move to uk with his father. jacques was ten at the time, and he still doesn’t understand the decision.

so yes, jacques was the kid in class with the weird name and weirder accent who could barely communicate with his classmates. it didn’t take long for them to stop really trying to pronounce ‘jacques’ properly. jacques became jack without much input on his part, and by the time jacques had got enough of a handle on the english language to correct them the americanized name had already stuck. even at nine jacques was smart enough to know that insisting on the correct french pronunciation of his name just kind of made him sound like a pretentious french asshole, so instead he spun it. he embraced it. started signing all of his papers and assignments with ‘jaq’ with a q like it was his brand or something. even as a child jaq will give himself credit for being clever af. 

it actually worked pretty well honestly. the older jaq got the more he grew into himself, and the more comfortable he got with the english language. honestly a lot of how jaq learned english was through video games and youtube videos and cartoons, like those were some of his go to resources. spent a lot of time playing games with strangers and tested his english out with colourful trash talk. actually started his first ever youtube channel was basically that as just a way to practice his english a bit. all he did on there was play video games, and honesty he didn’t even show his face. the channel wasn’t that popular, but he had fun making it. 

jaq on the other hand had gained popularity by the time he was in middle school. granted, that popularity was mostly due to the fact that he had a popular older brother and sister, was french and therefore ‘cute’ (jaq didn’t pretend to understand how girls brains worked then, and he still doesn’t now) and his family always had the newest gaming system at their household, and even then it wasn’t wild popularity. but it was enough that barely anyone teased him for his thick french accent anymore, and yk what jaq would take it. he weirdly got even more popular with the guys in his grade when they found out about his youtube channel. they found it funny, and they would generally watch his videos and come tell him about their favourite parts later, ask him about how he got past a certain level or learned a certain cheat. jaq soaked up their admiration like a sponge, right into his ego. they were the beginning of jaq getting the big head he proudly sports today. 

that said for most second form jaq’s youtube channel was just a hobby. something he did for fun. like i said earlier, jaq actually did really well in school and his parents always expected him to follow in his father’s footsteps and go into something in business. after all, it would be an easy transition with both french and english under his belt. they knew he would excel. 

but then he met madi. and somehow the two started doing videos together for fun, and it quickly expanded into something a lot bigger. something that jaq wouldn’t have even dreamed of doing before. suddenly the picture perfect future he had planned for himself just seemed boring in comparison to what he and madi had going on, and so jaq easily picked that instead. his parents weren’t all that happy about it, of course, after all jaq had full scholarships to some schools just waiting for him to accept and he ignored all of them in favour of making videos of him playing games online. they still don’t understand, but jaq doesn’t really need them too. he’s happy with what he’s doing and he figures he can always go into business when he’s old and boring. 

he moved out of his parents house straight into an apartment with madi when things between them started getting really tough. they can’t really speak without the whole ‘we’re so disappointed in you’ conversation coming up so jaq doesn’t really speak to them unless he has to. both of his older siblings went into business like their parents wanted, and his younger siblings are on the same path. his little sister wants to be just like him though, and that warms his heart tbh. 

has come to TWENTIES to have a good time! wants to break into the acting industry like dylan o’brien and maybe show his parents that a ‘real’ career can come from something like this. his parents begged him not to come on this show and embarrass them so that is definitely what he’s about to do. 

HEADCANNONS. there are a lot of people who need to shut up.  not me though 

thinks he’s funny! sometimes he is

will answer to jacques, jaq, jaqi, or q! you can call him daingerfield if you want but not many people do

fun fact, made his instagram handle as a joke, much like awkwafina. was just supposed to a little dig about how many times he has to say ‘jack with a q’ whenever someone spells his name. but now the dangerous q is his brand, and just finds it really dumb and funny. 

a bit of a kleptomaniac. will swipe something he thinks is cool mostly just to do it. has very little impulse control. loves to pull pranks and generally make trouble, but not in a way that will ever actually hurt anybody because he’s not a whole idiot. not the biggest fan of cops. 

is an artist. will spray paint your walls and probably has spray painted the walls of his apartment. will doodle weird things all over napkins or receipts or whatever he can get his hands on. has drawn out little video game characters he wants to be in his future games, and actually is considering going to school for a video game programming degree just for that. the funny thing is with his grades he could probably do it. is teaching himself coding in the mean time. 

 the type of person to start drumming on the counter or desk with his hands or like pencils or pens when he’s bored. will make up fun little raps on the spot. 

incredibly intelligent but doesn’t like to talk about it. would much rather act dumb than act like he has any braincells. he doesn’t want to give anyone expectations. 

all the youtube success has definitely gone to his head in the way that?? he just thinks they’re untouchable like he cannot compute the concept of their channel failing or their future endeavors failing. definitely thinks that TWENTIES will lead to much bigger things for them. will walk into his future acting auditions like he’s the shit. 

an introvert with extrovert tendencies. needs to be by himself to chill out and recharge but can like work a room honestly. can make friends pretty much everywhere he goes. a bit of a charmer when he wants to be. 

a smoker unfortunately. also a bit of a stoner. definitely has a juul on him at all times, like i said he tends to keep it behind his ear and then be like ???? where’s my juul. 

needs glasses but refuses to wear them. is very stubborn about it tbh. does not want to get contacts because he hates the idea of putting something into his eye. so you can catch him squinting sometimes like a fool. 

one of the first things he treated himself to with his first big youtube check like outside of rent was a tattoo! it’s on his ribs and it’s just a drawing he did himself but he loves it and it was the start of an addiction. he has about five. also has a few helix and orbital piercings on his left ear. 

another muse of mine with a tiktok, but jaq just uses his to make music for the most part. will turn the mickey mouse club house theme song into bars! (if you’ve seen that tiktok,,,, ily) 

a big nerd. reads comic books. watches anime. will get very reasonably upset about the avatar the last airbender movie whenever it’s brought up.

can cook really well, but whenever he does it it’s pure chaos. like julian/brad leone in the kitchen for sure. but the food comes out tasting really good, so???

is jewish af. knows a bit of hebrew and a bit of yiddish because of his grandparents mostly. is kind of ??? a lot more lenient with things now that he’s not around his parents as often i’m ngl. 

brings his ds everywhere and you can literally catch him on the bus vaping and playing animal crossing because he hasn’t bothered to get a american license yet 

is always willing to take a picture with a subscribers and they’re always the weirdest thing. there are pictures of subscribers like pretending to stab him in the eye. prom pose pictures with subscribers. the weirder the better tbh

has gone to vidcon a few years in a row, always has the wildest time. there is video footage of him waking up in some strangers bathtub with a feather boa around his neck. it’s probably on instagram. 

is also bi af. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  very proud to announce that i am officially a lost cause! 

BEST FRIENDS.

A BROMANCE. 

FWB/EWB.

EXES. 

FANS OF HIS YOUTUBE VIDEOS. 

and here’s his wanted tag, i forgot to do the same for haisley so here is her wanted tag. 

and many more, y’all this took so long and i’m so tired but like this and i will slide into your dms for plots!

[spaceskam]

Moirai (4/7)

yep guess who updated for once 

[ao3]

(part one - part two - part three - part four)

Michael woke, startled and out of breath for the umpteenth time since they discovered Felicity.

He looked over to see Alex sound asleep and cuddled up with a pillow in his arms and another between his knees. Michael’s head was still fuzzy with his dream and he couldn’t offer more than a hand in Alex’s hair before turning his gaze to the fancy baby monitor that Isobel insisted on getting them. It had a camera and it showed Felicity asleep inside the mosquito net-esque thing they’d constructed around the bed to make sure she didn’t take herself anywhere or hurt herself. She seemed fine tonight. So did Alex. So why did he feel like he was on fire?

The dreams had originally started the first night of having her and they were nothing more than hazy images that left him confused and sweaty. Over time, though, they got clearer and clearer. Now, four weeks later, he was getting vivid images of shadows calling his name, luring him to the underground tunnels of Pitlochry. He knew logically he should stay away, but he couldn’t fight away the feeling that he needed to go back.

A few days prior, he’d subtly asked Alex if he thought they may have left something back at Pitlochry. He’d said no, that he’d grabbed everything they saw and that there was no reason to return, but it still didn’t shake the feeling. Even if he found nothing, he needed to go back there whether Alex wanted him to or not.

“Hi.” Alex’s groggy voice tore his eyes from the baby monitor. His face scrunched up through a yawn, his hand reaching out to stroke Michael’s arm lazily. It managed to coax a smile out of him.

“Why are you awake? Your alarm goes off in an hour,” Michael said, forcing himself to lay down. Alex replaced his pillow with Michael’s body.

“Then why are you awake?” Alex whispered. His voice was always much higher when he was waking up or almost asleep. It was a sweet little tenor that typically had Michael reeling. This morning, however, he was a bit preoccupied with trying to figure out how to get back to Pitlochry without him finding out.

“I don’t know. Thought I heard Fiz,” he murmured, finding the lie believable enough. Alex thought so too.

“Did you want me to bring those papers to Kyle?” he asked as he snuggled a bit close. They were almost done completely registering Felicity’s existence, Alex’s computer skills and ties to the military helping out on doing things in a slightly illegal way. All they needed now was for Kyle to sign off, saying he did indeed see the mother who had abandoned her at the hospital. Then she would be all Michael’s for real.

He knew Alex didn’t mean to give him an idea on how to go behind his back, but he did. Michael couldn’t go back there by himself. There was a chance that his trance-like state had to do with the pod as well as Felicity and he didn’t want to risk getting stuck where no one could find him because he got mentally sucked into nothingness. But Kyle could be of assistance.

“Nah, I’ll do it, gotta talk to him about something anyway,” Michael whispered. Alex shifted, pressing a soft kiss to his chest.

“About what?” he asked softly. Michael didn’t answer, letting Alex’s palm glide over his body before resting at his hip. “Just wondering why you’re willingly going to see Kyle.” Alex tacked on, a small smile on his lips as he continued to kiss up his chest.

“Can’t say,” Michael said, trying to give a smile. He’d just have to come up with something he could plan for Alex that would require Valenti’s help. Maybe a birthday party.

“Alright, be cryptic,” he said, moving to catch Michael’s lips in a sweet little kiss. Michael pulled him closer. What better way to get over that mindfuck of a dream than a little bit of Alex in the morning.

Their lazy morning sex was kept short. Alex’s alarm started blaring just after mutual lazy handjobs, their foreheads meeting in the middle to gather their breathing before they reluctantly climbed out of bed. It was one of those days that Michael really could’ve slept in since he didn’t have to be at work until noon, but he didn’t see the point in it when Alex had to get up.

Alex went to take a shower and Michael stepped under the water for a few seconds to wash off, leaving him with the promise of washing the sheets since they hadn’t been careful in not getting shit everywhere.

Michael fell into their normal morning routine with a little bit of lightness now that he had an idea on how to try and make the dreams stop. He made coffee with Felicity swinging herself in the doorway, he kissed Alex goodbye while handing him the lunch he’d packed, and he sat on the back porch while feeding Felicity and drinking his coffee. It was a good routine. A comforting routine.

One that would be better if he wasn’t so bitter from the way his nights always went.

He didn’t waste much time after he finished his coffee. He got Felicity dressed, threw the sheets in the dryer, and locked up the cabin before heading for the hospital with the papers in hand. He shot Kyle a text before taking Felicity out of her car seat.

Michael found it weirdly easy to slip into a life where he had someone to care for. Sure, it helped when he was able to catch a break here and there and his friends had been great at assisting, but he enjoyed doing most of the work. It was cathartic in a way. All the bullshit in his life was worth it if it meant he found her before someone else, someone dangerous, did.

“I need you to do me a favor and I need you to not tell Alex,” Michael said the moment he walked into Liz’ redone lab. Kyle was already there waiting for him. A look of annoyance crossed his face at his words.

“What are you trying to keep from Alex?”

“I’m literally not going to tell you anything until you promise me you won’t tell Alex,” Michael said simply. Pitlochry was all he could think about. He needed to get there, figure out what was calling him back. As much as he didn’t want to go with Kyle, he was also his best bet next to Alex. Alex, who had made it very clear he didn’t want to go back there.

Besides he had seen Michael breakdown before they went the first time and he had seen how he had been effected when they actually went. He didn’t have to be a genius to know that, even if he tried to bring it up to Alex, he would not be a fan of the idea.

Kyle eyed him for a minute before reaching for Felicity. She went to him easily and Michael wondered if that was her silent way to get him to comply. The only human she ever willingly went to was Alex. Yet, today, she curled up against Kyle with her fist wrapped around his thumb. She was staring right at Michael.

“Okay, fine, what?” Kyle sighed. Michael grinned.

“I need you to go back to Pitlochry with me.”

“What?”

“I’m, like, 99% sure we forgot something by the pod. Like, I think we were distracted by her and distracted by whatever it was doing to me to check out the area, so we need to go back and check it out,” he explained. When Kyle didn’t look too convinced, Michael continued. “I’ve been getting these dreams since we went and they’re just getting more intense. I need to go and see if that’ll make them go away. And maybe it’ll explain something about why she was there. You know I wouldn’t be coming to you if it wasn’t seriously fucking with me. And, fuck, you were there, you know I can’t go by myself.”

Kyle sighed slowly and looked down at the baby in his arms. The tail of his lab coat slowly started lifting, fluttering in the wind that wasn’t there. She smiled. He caved.

“Just, why are keeping it from Alex? Wouldn’t he be helpful?” Kyle asked, trying to hide his amusement at her mentally playing with his coat. She was good. Michael would have to bring her around when he was trying to convince other people of things too.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to go back there. And I get it, I do, but I don’t want to worry him. It’d be easier to just go ourselves. If we don’t find anything, then there’s no stress on his part. If we do… then I’ll tell him, but that’s afterward and he won’t have anything to worry about,” Michael promised. He knew he’d really have to play his cards right considering Alex was too smart for his own good, but it was worth it.

“Fine, fine, you got a point. The guy doesn’t need more shit than he’s got. What day did you want to go?” Kyle asked, carefully eyeing the empty beaker that slowly but surely started to push its way towards the edge of the table.

“What day do you have off?” Michael wondered. He grabbed the beaker.

“Thursday’s the only day I’m not on call until the weekend.”

“Perfect, Isobel’s already watching her that day. I’ll just tell Alex that I have to work late and we can leave early,” he explained. Kyle’s eyes skirted across the room as he nodded.

“It’s a date.”

-

Alex’s leg throbbed as he climbed out of his car in Isobel’s driveway. It had been a long ass day at the base and while he technically could take as many breaks as he needed, he didn’t like to take them. It was bad enough when he relied on his crutch, the last thing he wanted was to have someone ask if he needed help. They didn’t seem to understand that if he was struggling that bad, he would’ve just gone home. Now that he was off, though, he was limping just a little and he was more than ready to get home.

“I’m about to lose it, I swear,” Isobel said the moment she opened the door. Alex grinned and stepped inside.

Isobel’s entire living room looked straight out of a movie. Every object had floated off the shelves and was circling the room. Felicity was levitating somewhere in the middle of it, smiling widely and kicking her feet in celebration of her little magic act.

“Does she do this all the time? How do you deal with it? How do you make her stop? I can barely even get to her without bumping into a million things!” Isobel complained, groaning. She looked a little more disheveled than usual which probably had everything to do with this being the first time she watched Felicity alone.

“I mean, kinda. Never this much, though,” Alex acknowledged, slowly plucking things out of the air and putting them back where they belonged. Isobel started following his lead.

“Yeah, well, it started out with just a picture of me and Max and I told her to put it down because I didn’t want her to break it, but then she just did it to something else. It was like every time I told her to stop, it got worse,” she grumbled. Alex could picture the proud little smile on Michael’s face. He would’ve thought it was as funny as Felicity clearly did.

“Yeah, no, she was doing that specifically to piss you off. You kind of just have to catch stuff and put it back and she’ll usually leave it alone.”

“Alex, she is going to be the actual worst when she gets older, you know that, right?”

Alex snorted, heading for Felicity this time. “Oh, I’ve already told Michael that as soon as she’s able to completely comprehend, that we’re going to start teaching her what she can and can’t do and control.”

“Seems like she has a ton of control already.”

“Not really. Micahel helps level her out a lot, but sometimes when it’s just the two of us, she’ll throw shit when she’s crying or something,” Alex admitted, bringing her to sit against his hip. “Sorry, she was a lot, though.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. We were good for most of the day. Also, like, do you know where Michael is?” she asked. Alex blinked a couple of times before he raised an eyebrow.

“Work. Where else would he be?”

“Okay, well, hate to break it to you, but he’s not at work,” Isobel scoffed, collapsing into her couch. Alex stared at her hesitantly for a moment before following her. What the fuck did she mean he wasn’t at work? “He has never not answered me before. I even tried to call him, like, mentally and he straight up ignored me. He must be doing something super fucking serious if he won’t answer me. He’s literally stopped having sex to answer me before.” That was true, he was there.

“I mean… he told me he was at work. I don’t see what he has to lie about,” Alex said. The look on her face was anything but comforting. He shifted in his seat.

“I mean, maybe he is. I just… You know what, I’m sure he’s at work. Don’t mind me,” Isobel said with an empty laugh, waving it off. Alex sat there and mulled over what she had just said.

By the time he did leave, he had already decided he wouldn’t be going straight home. Michael was at work. He had to be at work. So, Alex picked up some late lunch/early dinner for them and headed towards the junkyard. When he got there, Michael’s truck wasn’t in sight. He even asked Sanders only to be told he had called in.

Alex’s first thought was that something bad had happened. He tried not to let himself get too nervous but still took it upon himself to drive around town to see if he spotted him anywhere. He wasn’t at the hospital, the Crashdown, the Wild Pony, Max’s, or anywhere else it seemed. As a last-ditch effort, he went to Kyle’s.

He didn’t know what to make of it when he found his boyfriend’s truck in another man’s driveway after having lied about going to work. It reminded him of earlier in the week when Michael had been pretty insistent on meeting Kyle himself. Alex tried really hard to keep his thoughts positive. Maybe there was an explanation. None of them would be good enough to explain him fucking lying, but maybe it existed. He would just go home and wait.

“I’m gonna kill him,” he said through a smile as he looked at Felicity through the rearview mirror. She smiled at his tone.

At least someone found this amusing.

-

“Guerin!”

Michael wasn’t sure how long Kyle had been screaming at him, but he knew it was at least a good while before he noticed. Assumption had proved right and something had overcome him, leading him to ignore Kyle in favor of heading down into the tunnels. Only this time it was past the pod.

“Guerin, I can’t see shit!”

Michael didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer.

Then his feet stopped moving. Michael’s eyes slid closed without much of a warning from his brain, staying shut tight. His hand moved out in front of him, concentrating on… something.

“Guerin. Guerin. Oh my‒Guerin, what the fuck?!”

That something slammed into Michael’s hand with a force that rivaled his own, throwing him to the ground and leaving him out of breath. His eyes still wouldn’t open, instinct moving to cradle the whatever to his chest. What little part of his brain that was in his control told him it was some type of stone.

“Guerin, are you okay? Hey, talk to me, talk to me,” Kyle urged. Michael could vaguely feel hands on him, but they felt like they were touching him over 5 different layers of clothes. He knew it was skin to skin, but, god, it didn’t feel like it.

Then he was being dragged.

He didn’t really catch anything in between that. All he knew was that eventually, somehow, he started regaining clarity. His eyes opened to see Kyle leaning over him in some form of light, huffing and puffing as he pressed two fingers beneath Michael’s chin. He blinked a couple of times.

“Hey, are you okay? Are you with me?” he asked. Michael groaned halfheartedly. He was exhausted. “Michael, I just spent 30 fucking minutes dragging you through a dark tunnel and then up a flight of creepy-ass stairs, you can at least talk to me if you’re with me. Seriously, if you’re hurt, Alex is going to kill me.”

“What happened?” he asked groggily, trying to lift his head only to find that to be too much work. Kyle got in his face, holding open his eyes to check his pupils or something. Michael did his best to swat him off but found that his hands didn’t actually move.

“Well, we got here and it was fine, then you stopped talking midsentence. Then you were like fucking speed walking down the steps and through the tunnel. And you said we were gonna look at the pod, so I stopped around there, but you just kept fucking going. Kinda lost you for a minute until you turned into the human torch,” Kyle explained, still checking over him to make sure he was okay.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, dude, you lit up. I guess it was just your hand or something, I don’t know, but it was bright. Then this tablet thing came, like, flying towards you and you hit your head pretty hard when you hit the ground.”

“Tablet thing?”

“Yeah, this thing,” Kyle said and patted his arm. Michael used all his energy to look down to see his arms had a death grip on some stone slab. He furrowed his eyebrows before letting his head fall again. Kyle’s hand stopped it from hitting the ground again. “I swear to God, you want to give yourself a concussion.”

“Mmm, what’s on it?” he asked. Kyle sighed.

“I don’t know, dude, I can’t see it. Look, can we leave? I want to get out of here. Besides, we have about two hours to get you back before Alex starts wondering and it’s a three-hour drive.”

Michael did his best to help Kyle carry his body weight, but he felt like nothing more than a sack of bones. Everything ached and his legs seemed to weigh a ton each, dragging on the floor even when Kyle was supporting him for the most part.

“Thanks,” Michael said once they exited the prison. It felt like a weight was lifting off of him already. His mind felt a little clearer.

“Yeah, well, I’m only doing this because Alex would probably be sad if I left you to get mind warped,” Kyle grumbled. Michael managed a smile as he got dumped into the passenger seat of Kyle’s car.

“Yeah. That’s why.”

It took him no time at all to go straight to sleep.

-

Michael still felt heavy with fatigue as he climbed out of his truck and trudged towards the cabin. He was more than ready to just curl up against Alex and sleep for a million hours before trying to figure out what the tablet was for. It had only a few inscriptions on it, none of which he couldn’t read, but they didn’t seem to be too different from the ones on the console glass. So, clearly, it was something he was meant to find. He still needed Kyle to tell him exactly what happened because he was still fuzzy on the whole thing, but that could wait. Even if he was super intrigued to know how his hand lit up.

He entered the cabin with a yawn, fully expecting Alex to be sweetly curled up on the couch in his comfy pajamas. Except, tonight, Alex was sitting in the kitchen, staring at nothing and still in his uniform. Okay.

“I’m home.”

Alex looked up with a level of stoicism that made Michael feel nauseous. Man, he could not catch a break today. Alex tilted his head.

“How was work?”

Michael slowly sat across from him. “Fine.”

“Yeah, I bet. ‘Cause I went to bring you food and you weren’t there.” Uh oh. “And so I was really fucking worried and searched the town for you because I thought something happened, but then I found your truck at Kyle’s. You hate Kyle. I can’t think of a goddamn reason why you would be with Kyle and then neither of bother to answer your phones. Can you explain that to me?”

He was not rested enough for this.

“Look, just tell me. Are you sleeping with Kyle?” Alex asked, resignation in his voice. Michael’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“Oh, oh my god, ew, no, what? Alex, what? No! Why would you even think that?” Michael sputtered out, a new level of disgust at the idea. Valenti wasn’t as bad as he thought, but he definitely wasn’t about to sleep with him. Much less cheat on Alex. Fuck all of that.

“Because you lied to me and I thought we were done with lying. I thought we were being honest and talking things through and trusting,” Alex explained. Michael could see that he was hurt and that was a lot worse than the aching feeling in his head or how tired his body was.

Still, he sighed and bowed his head. “Okay, I’m sorry I lied. I just… I knew you didn’t want me going back to Pitlochry.” This time it was Alex’s turn to look incredulous.

“I’m sorry, what? You went back to Pitlochry? For what?”

Michael reached in his bag and shuffled around before he brought the tablet to the table. It looked bleak and plain, but Michael knew better than that. Something about it was special and it was calling to him. He could feel it.

“I know you said you got everything, but I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something there. And, yeah, it fucked with my head again, but that’s why I brought Kyle. I should’ve told you, I just didn’t want you to worry. But I guess I should’ve figured out that you would’ve pieced something together,” he admitted. Alex let out a breath of relief, leaning back in the chair and he brought the tablet with him. Michael watched his fingertips glide over it, his eyebrows furrowed as he took in the admission. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be. What happened?” he asked. Micahel huffed a dry laugh, shrugging his shoulders.

“Couldn’t really tell you. Something got in my head to find this thing and then I hit my head and it was like that plus something in my mind and I kinda shut down for a bit. Kyle tried to explain it to me, but I wasn’t exactly coherent, so we’re just gonna have to talk to him tomorrow. And, don’t worry, he checked to make sure I didn’t have a concussion, like, eight times, I’m fine. Well, I’m fucking exhausted and am like two minutes away from passing out, but I’m fine,” Michael assured. Alex nodded slowly, concern still on his face as he stared. Michael could tell he had a million questions, but, in true Alex fashion, he chose to ask no more. “I can’t believe you thought I was sleeping with Kyle.”

“I didn’t really, I just couldn’t fucking think of anything else. This… makes more sense and I am pissed at you for not telling me, but it’s better than you being dead or fucking Kyle, so I’ll be mad at you when you’re less tired. We’ll work on the tablet and what happened at Pitlochry tomorrow,” Alex said. Michael nodded and slowly let his head hit the table.

Except that really fucking hurt, so he picked it back up.

“Do you wanna go take a bath? I’m sore, you’re sore, and I was still worried about you for the last five hours, so I’d like to cuddle with you if that’s okay,” Alex said softly. Michael grinned sleepily. If a healthy relationship meant discussing your issues calmly and ending it with cuddles, he kind of regretted not trying this out before.

“You really wanna sit a pool full of my filth? Kyle dragged me across the floor,” he pointed out. Another wave of concern hit Alex’s face, discarding the tablet to reach across the table and grab Michael’s had. Michael stared at the tablet for a few seconds before forcing his eyes on Alex.

“Fine, we’ll wash off in the shower first,” Alex said, “How’s that sound?”

Michael brought Alex’s hand to his lips and gave the tablet one last glance for the night before he stood up. It could wait. Alex deserved his attention much, much more. It would have to wait.

“Sounds like the best thing I’ve heard all day.”