#4k word

[camillamaecaulay]

graves grow no green that you can use.

gwendolyn brooks

[emmavakarian-theirin]

obsessed with the way lucanis just says "no." sometimes

[quirkle2]

scenes that make me wanna eat drywall dust

[deantfwinchester]

Love Me Right

Part 1: Henrietta’s

Pairing: ConstructionCEO!Joel x Waitress!Reader

She's eventually gonna be a teacher again bc let's be real, i'm a one-trick pony.

This is a Millionaire Joel AU x Most Eligible Bachelor Trope

Summary: Joel Miller, CEO and Co-Founder of Miller Construction, hasn't been dealing with an Empty Nest very well. His family and friends have tried their best to cheer him up since Sarah left for college in the fall, but the storm cloud above his head remains. On top of that (or perhaps because of it), he has just been named one of Austin's Most Eligible Bachelors.

What will that mean for the new-in-town waitress he meets in his favorite diner? As far as she knows, he's just an average contractor.

Warnings: age gap (reader late 20s, Joel late 40s); family-centered trauma and conflict; lethal levels of fluff otw

A/N: Bear with me for this one y'all. My imagination is ambitious and my brain is obstinate. Title inspired by Sabrina Carpenter’s Short ��n Sweet - bc i can’t stop fckn listening to Juno 🫣

Word Count: 4.6k

_______________________________________________

“Tommy, there ain’t a chance in hell that’s gonna happen. Why on earth did you bring this to me?”

“Well they talked to Joanna at the front desk first. She said wasn’t going to bring it up to you, but I couldn’t just let it slide,” Tommy raises his eyebrows at Joel, shooting him a mischievous look. “Because one - I wasn’t gonna pass up the chance to see this look on your face, and two - would a little publicity be so bad?”

“Who in their right mind is gonna choose a fuckin contractor from the goddamn ‘society pages’?” Joel bristles at his brother’s amusement with an unwavering scowl.

Tommy stares right back, but the playful nature of his expression is unmarred. “Most men won’t Joel - but their wives will.” Tommy’s salacious grin is damn near wider than Joel’s ever seen. Christ, he’s loving this.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” Joel says plainly, rolling his eyes.

“Come on brother, think about it - plenty of busy men in this city with bored housewives in need of a project. He tosses her a few thousand to redo the dining room - well who’s gonna do the job? She hasn’t got a clue where to begin and then BOOM! She sees the list of Austin’s Most Eligible Bachelors in the paper - where she finds a photo of the distinguished CEO and senior founder of Miller Construction—”

“Senior, seriously?,” Joel deadpans at him. Tommy ignores him, continuing to wax poetic.

“And can’t help but wonder if the rest of his staff is as dashing as he appears to be,”

“Flattery’s cheap Tommy.”

“Of course then she meets with me and the deal is sealed.” Tommy smiles smugly now that his story is complete.

“Boy can you paint a picture,” responds Joel, rolling his eyes at his brother’s antics. “So you wanna parade me around like a two-bit hooker, huh?

“Whaddya say — can I give ‘em a call?”

“If you’re so hell-bent on ‘marketing’ why don’t you do it?” Joel says flippantly.

“Well I’m not a bachelor anymore, am I?,” he grins brightly at him. This time, it’s sincere.

“Don’t break your arm pattin' yourself on the back, Tommy. Maria mighta said yes, but there ain’t a ring on your finger yet. She’s still got a few months to wise up,” Joel challenges, his tone playful.

Tommy glares at him, but then gives a sobered nod. “You’re right about that. I know I’m a lucky fucker, and I’m not interested in testing that luck - even for a charity auction. Sorry to the dogs, or the food bank or — is it old people?”

“Hell bent on it, and don’t even know what it’s for? Christ - it’s a Make-A-Wish thing Tommy, damn,” Joel replies, looking bewildered at his brother’s callous and cavalier response.

“And isn’t your attention and concern for the bigger picture just what they need in volunteers?” Tommy retorts, expression still smug but eyes hopeful. “What, ‘s it gonna kill you to go out for once? It’ll be a formality at worst and maybe even a good time if you loosen up a bit.”

“I can think of a number of other ‘worsts’ than a formality,” Joel muses

“You’re gentleman enough to handle it just fine,” Tommy continues.

It has been quite a while since Joel’s been out of his house for much other than work or routine, and even longer since he’s been out with anyone other than Tommy, Maria, and the guys from work here and there. He’ll admit, he hasn’t been dealing with an empty nest very well. He’s done a pretty terrible job of keeping busy since he dropped Sarah off at school back in the fall. She’d gotten in exactly where she’d hoped, and made friends fast - for this he was over the moon - but he misses her like crazy. He’s been swimming back and forth in swelling pride and stabbing grief since September, ecstatic and aching all at once. He knew Tommy’s intentions were relatively pure, business interest aside. He knows they’ve been worried about him for a couple of months now - they haven’t exactly been subtle — they’d started having him over for dinner damn near once a week.

This newfound hobby of Tommy’s, cooking like a grown-up, had become the ruse en vogue for getting Joel out of his house. As Maria’s caseload grew at the law firm, Tommy wanted to make sure she had a real meal to eat when she finally got home — so he started cooking. Joel had to admit it was real sweet, watching his brother dive headfirst into learning a new skill just to take care of his bride-to-be. He claimed it only made sense with his far more flexible schedule, but Joel knew it made Tommy proud to be able to do this for her, and the very fact he wanted to made Joel proud as well.

Once Sarah left for school, however, Tommy quickly discovered his brother’s less-than-satisfactory habits of microwave dinners or forgetting to eat in general. He was a fair chef in his own right once upon a time, but without his little girl there to feed, bothering to make a balanced meal fell by the wayside. Joanna, a kindly woman in her seventies, had been one of the first to notice the change in Joel’s demeanor and the drawn nature of his features. Not much younger than the boys’ mother would be today, Joanna worked at the front desk of Miller Construction, greeting clients with a maternal warmth that, Tommy had to admit, was in part strategic. Disarm a client while they wait with a smile and you’d be able to pry open their hearts and their pockets.

Joanna was not unaware of the role she played in this game, though she did not approve. She’d informed Tommy of her concern for Joel, and the regular dinner invitations followed suit. This, accompanied with Joanna’s tugging Joel along to a nearby diner for lunch a couple of times a week in November had practically pulled Joel through the fall slump and into the new year. The holiday visits home from Sarah had helped a great deal, as well.

Joel wasn’t blind to his friends and family’s kahoots to help him through this patch. Though he sometimes grudgingly obliged to Joanna’s pestering him out the door because she hadn’t “seen you eat a bite all day. Four cups of black coffee don’t count, and you know it. Up!,” or Tommy’s employing Maria to send a text herself inviting him to dinner after he’d tried and simply received the finger, he was grateful for their efforts and care. Sarah was too, but he didn’t need to know that. Those lunchtime diner visits soon turned into breakfasts — a preemptive measure on Joanna’s part to add some time out in public to Joel’s routine of home — office — work site — home. Eventually she’d pavolv-ed him into it, and Joel was at the diner for coffee, breakfast, and one of the only physical newspapers left in existence every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at first following behind Joanna and eventually on his own.

Joanna had been with the Miller brothers since the business was far smaller, just a few years after its inception, when they started needing a receptionist/secretary/assistant, just someone who knew how to manage their slowly growing demand. She’d been a friend of their mother’s and had taken up some of the slack when she’d passed, grieving alongside her friend’s sons and looking after them in her wake. She’d been one of the only reasons Joel and Tommy had been able to build the tiny Miller Bros. into its current position as Miller Construction, multi-million-dollar contracting firm, and the largest in the Austin Metro area. Joel’s practical thinking and creativity combined with Tommy’s ambition and idealistic hopes of grandeur got them into successful meetings with investors that Joanna quietly set up via her husband’s business contacts. Their vision reminded her so much of their mother’s optimism she couldn’t help herself. She’d keep an eye on Sarah when Joel needed and ensured they were taken care of in the moments they would have needed their mother around.

As the boys’ surrogate mother figure and Sarah’s Aunt Jo, it came as no surprise that amid Joel’s season of empty-nested loneliness Joanna had begun encouraging him to “get back out there” and claimed that she “won’t be around forever” and “would like to see him settled before I go.” Classic maternal guilt-tripping, and Joel told her each time that he hears 70 is the new 50. She told him to try that again in a few years when he hits the real 50.

Truth of the matter was, Joel had been alone for a long time. He’d seen people on and off while Sarah was growing up, but it was a rare occasion, and no fling had ever lasted more than a couple of months. With Sarah at home, it never mattered much to Joel — he had someone to care for who was the best company he’d ever had right in front of him. She’d needed him a little less as she’d grown up, but he always had a purpose.

Joel was a natural-born caretaker — between brotherhood and fatherhood, he took to it like a tadpole to water. With Sarah away at school and his little brother engaged, however, he couldn’t figure out where to put all that love, and so it crackled into grief like a blackening candle wick, blooming into a flower of ash that nestled in his chest. The cloud of soot hovered around him for a while as he went through the motions of his everyday. Tommy, Maria, and Joanna all wanted to see him find his way again, as did Sarah when she received honest reports from her family members after some prodding. He always put on his biggest smile for her, never wanting her to worry, but she could see something hurting in his eyes, just below the surface.

While it may have been blatantly out of his comfort zone, Tommy and Joanna jumped at the opportunity to convince Joel when the Most Eligible Bachelors’ Auction came knocking. He needed something to disrupt his routine, with the added bonus of his coming out into the social scene like a plaid-clad debutante with a few extra crow’s feet.

After rolling the last few months’ events around in his mind for a couple of minutes while Tommy answers a phone call, Joel is broken from his reverie. Tommy’s standing in front of him again, waving a hand back and forth.

“Hey ground control - you with me?,” he asks before Joel’s eyes focus on him once again. “Can I give em a call?,” and this time Joel notices the concern in Tommy’s eyes as his joking facade flickers with hope. It’s more than just publicity, and he owes it to them to give it a shot.

Joel releases a measured sigh, relenting. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but sure, fuck it. Call ‘em back,” he says rolling his eyes, resigning himself to whatever nonsense his participation will entail. He reminds himself it’s for charity, and returns to his computer, refocusing on his work as Tommy darts out of his office to return to his own, reporting his success to Joanna along the way.

_______________________________________________

You got lucky with this job at Henrietta’s, with its flexible hours and fairly livable wage, you had time to settle into your new place and get to know the city. You spend your off days wandering around, doing research on local schools and prepping your applications for summer school and the new year.

Never had you pictured yourself leaving students mid-year, and having to do it hurt like hell. You missed the kids you left behind every day, but when a friend caught wind of an acquaintance needing a subletter for a little studio within your price range, you didn’t have much of a choice. You needed to take up the lease starting in January, or you’d be starting over at square one. It had been a long time coming, this encroaching need to run and start over somewhere new. Staying in your hometown was no longer an option — work may have been a saving grace, but the other areas of your life were suffering. You knew healing couldn’t begin without separation. You needed to be far away from everything — it was the only way you could picture trying to feel whole again. Grad school had ended the previous year, so you fled.

With each mile you put between you and your family, you started to feel like your lungs could fully inflate once again. The oppressive air of scrutiny and memory that swam around you at home dropped off piece by piece with each passing mile marker. You’d put a few states between yourself and your parents once it was all said and done, and while it was scary, starting from scratch all over again, it was invigorating. You’d done it at eighteen when you left for college, you could damn well do it again with eight years’ more life experience under your belt.

You’d walked into the diner on your second day in the city. You had some money saved up from time living at home, but knew it would dwindle quickly with rent to pay and no salary coming in on the regular. You would need something to keep busy and pay for necessities until the end of the spring semester. When Diane, the manager caught sight of you, bright-eyed and looking like a deer in headlights, she welcomed you with a warmth you’d only read about in books. She interviewed you then and there and offered you a job on the spot, waiting tables on the breakfast and lunch shifts at least four days a week. She told you your “sweet smile and wide-eyed look will do wonders for you in tips, precious!” You think it’s probably just teacher face you can’t shake, and hope she’s right — maybe it could do you some favors until you get back in the classroom where you belong.

Diane’s rounded face was accentuated with wonderfully deep crow’s feet and smile lines that suggested a lifetime of sharing this warmth, and her dark hair streaked with gray around her hairline and temples rested atop her head in a frazzled bun. She made you comfortable out the gate, and had set you up with a uniform immediately. More aptly, she handed you a t-shirt and an apron to go over your leggings. You were thankful for the relaxed dress code, knowing plenty of other establishments required a much more specific ensemble. Once you’d changed she introduced you to your shift lead, Reggie, and the line-cook-on-duty, Tony, patting you comfortingly on the shoulder and insisting they welcome you, hoping to keep you around to solve their persistent staffing issue.

While Diane was quite a bit older than you, somewhere in her mid-fifties, Reggie and Tony were younger, floating between mid-thirties and early forties, if you had to guess. Reggie was a slim black man you’d put in his thirties, and he greeted you with a smile and an exclamation that he was more than ready to gossip ad nauseum with someone so much closer to his age. He’d been the one to fill you in on Diane’s immediate taking to you, letting you know with little ambiguity that you were just a few years younger than Diane’s daughter, who had moved out of the city about a year ago, and that you favored her to boot. Reggie had called this particular gossip session your orientation.

“Don’t get me wrong honey, Diane’s a sweetheart. But never have I seen her offer a position on the spot. I think having you here may do her some good,” he’d said, before turning to fill you in on Tony the line cook. “Yeah Tony’s hot, but he chain smokes like a chimney and doesn’t care at all when I ask him to keep his second hand smoke to himself on the days I have a performance!,” he shouted pointedly at Tony, who only looked up long enough to give Reggie the finger and wink at you. Tony was a muscular Italian guy in his forties with tattoos of a sort that didn’t quite match up with the gold chain and cross pendant hanging around his neck. When your eyes went wide at the wink, Reggie giggled a bit and leaned toward you. “Don’t worry, Tony’s a little sleazy but harmless. He’ll hit on anything in a skirt, but as soon as you tell him you aren’t interested he’ll back off and won’t bring it up again. He’s a good guy, but don’t tell him I said that.”

Over the course of your shift you discovered that Diane’s been at Henrietta’s for fifteen years, Reggie is a drag queen and lounge singer by the name of Wizz Tiria at a few different clubs around town, and Tony has a few other business ventures he mentions on and off (the details of which he keeps to himself), but never misses taking his Mom to church on Sundays. You share a good bit about yourself as well in exchange — what brought you to Austin, why now, and where you may go from here. It doesn’t take long for you to make yourself at home among this eclectic little bunch, and for the first time in a really, really long time, you’re content with the peaceful monotony of these early winter days.

_______________________________________________

It’s a brisk February morning when you walk into the diner for your shift. You’ve spent the last month working in the cozy little greasy spoon, so you’re still getting to know the regulars, but you’ve caught on pretty quick. You’ve been working the Tuesday, Thursday, and weekend shifts, but when Diane loses another server, you’re eager to pick up the slack — extra pocket change and keep your mind busy. The company’s pretty good too. Thus, you find yourself walking into the diner at 7 AM on a Wednesday morning with a hoodie over your t-shirt and a scarf to ward off more of the wind cutting into your cheeks. You head to the staff room to remove your hoodie and don your apron and emerge, finding the diner a bit colder than it had been up to this point. You’d kept a light jacket or a cardigan on you previously, but today’s need for something heavier led you to selecting a favorite hoodie to throw over your work t-shirt — which you didn’t quite think through until you came into the dining room and felt a chil run up your spine. Diane catches sight of you before you can still yourself.

“Sweetie, what on earth fo you think you’re doing?,” she asks like you’ve done something obviously egregious.

“Huh? What is it?,” you ask innocently, but you know the answer. She can probably see the goosebumps you feel rising on your arms.

“You need somethin’ on under that, you’re gonna freeze in here today!,” she chastises.

“Yeah, I brought my hoodie, but forgot I’d be taking it off. It’s not so bad in here, I’ll be alright,’ you tell her reassuringly.

“Absolutely not. Wait, hold on a second - REGGIE! We got any more o’ those long sleeve souvenir shirts in the case?!” she hollers after him.

“Hold awn!,” he hollers back, Southern twang taking center stage when he yells, just like the rest of them. After a few seconds he emerges with a few in hand. “Got a few left. Ugly as hell, probably why they’re still here. Watcha need ‘em for?”

“Sweetie, go on and change into that before the rush starts. Not the staff shirt, but the branding’ll be fine in case Jason drops by,” she says, rolling her eyes. She pats you on the shoulder, nudging you toward Reggie to take one of the shirts. They’re bright green with a gaudy design on them that makes you laugh when he hands it to you. Jason’s the owner of Henrietta’s, and so you’ve heard, the bane of Diane’s existence. You’ve only heard tale of this rotten Jason thus far, never quite laying eyes on the mythical beast. You really hope today in this goofy shirt isn’t the day you do.

You return to the dining room a few minutes later clad in the neon green monstrosity, tugging at it in a futile effort to make it look better. “Happy now, Diane?!,” you holler as you enter, only to find her standing directly in front of you at the hostess stand, face to face with a man you’d never seen in here before — who you almost run right into, not looking where you’re going. He’s tall and broad with dark brown curls laced with grey streaks, and gray patches in the short beard that frames his jaw. He catches you when you nearly bump right into him, and you look up to meet the deepest brown eyes you’ve ever encountered. Your cheeks go red when you realize what you’ve done.

“Whoa there,” he says, smiling down at you as you stutter out an apology. “It’s alright, no harm done,” he responds, voice gentle but deep. It’s true, he didn’t even budge when he caught you, and you’re fairly certain if you’d fallen, the outcome would’ve been the same.

“Sorry about that Joel. C’mon, your table’s ready,” she says, patting Joel’s arm and leading him forward, not before turning back to you and saying, “Certainly am. Now go grab some coffee for Table 7 for me, will ya sweetie?” with a smile. You’d just run almost smack into a customer, and she wasn’t upset with you or anything. You shouldn’t be surprised, that’s just Diane, but you’re used to much larger reactions to small mistakes. You just nodded and breathed a sigh of relief, but your eyes are drawn once again to the man she’s leading away. He’s looking back at you with a smile that sends a shiver down your spine, one you’re certain has nothing to do with the chill in the air this time. He’s wearing a plaid button-down and a utility jacket, with cheeks and a nose tinged pink from the cold. You tear your eyes away anxiously and head for the coffee pot.

You’ve got your hand around the decaf pot, pouring another cup for the regular at the bar counter, when your eyes find Table 7, your next destination. You see the man, Joel, Diane had called him, with his back to you, facing out the window, newspaper in hand. You steel yourself once again, switch coffee pots, and head for his table.

You approach from the side, hoping not to spook him as he’s engrossed in the paper he has in hand. Christ, when was the last time you saw a physical newspaper? It’s kinda cute, you think, seeing someone reading one on a cold morning with a cup of coffee. So picturesque. Especially someone as handsome as he is, and you find yourself staring at his broad shoulders and dark curls again before he looks up from his reading.

“Hey,” you start, a little shaky, “sorry again, about before. Don’t know what I was doing, not looking where I was going,” you smile a little, shaking your head at your mishap.

“Really, it’s fine. You seemed, uh, preoccupied,” he says, looking down at the offending design on the tshirt you’re wearing, before looking back up at you. “It’s certainly a change from the regular uniform, huh?” he says, smiling at you. The way his eyes crinkle as he does plants a warmth in your chest you aren’t expecting. It’s been so long since you felt it, it’s almost unfamiliar. Your cheeks warm as you smile back at him, hoping it comes off as embarrassment from your wardrobe rather than bashful attraction. You’re about to tell him it’s certainly not a permanent solution, when he speaks again. “So, Sweetie, huh? Haven’t seen you around before — that what they call you in here?” he questions, smirk playing at his lips.

You laugh in response and introduce yourself, and tell him this isn’t your normal shift, but you’ll probably be around for it moving forward. You take his breakfast order, and tell him you’ll let him get back to his paper.

You don’t converse much more when you bring Joel his breakfast, just quiet thanks when you refill his coffee cup. He looks so peaceful, you almost hate to interrupt each time. You ask Reggie about him when you both have a minute behind the counter.

“Yep, that’s Joel. Gorgeous, isn’t he? Started coming in a few months back with an older lady, then more regularly by himself. She’s with him once in a while, kinda seems like a mom vibe, but she doesn’t look like him. Anyway, I think he works construction or something, always coming in with those boots on looking like a lumberjack,” Reggie says flippantly. “Heard from the older lady one day when he was in the bathroom — his daughter went to college back in the fall, they’ve been trying to get him out ever since,” he said, looking sympathetic at the thought.

You feel your heart do a little squeeze at this newfound tidbit. A fresh empty nester. You know how hard it’s been for Diane, so much she’s taken to parenting the staff in her daughter’s stead. Staring at Joel’s back as his head is bowed reading the paper, you begin wondering more and more about him. His daughter’s probably around eighteen, so how old is he? You’d guess he isn’t married, and you didn’t see a ring. Who is he? Why does he come here to read his paper each day? And most importantly — how soon can you find out the answers to these questions? You don’t want to ambush him at all and scare him off, but you’re drawn to him, and so very curious.

Meanwhile, Joel is stealing glances at your reflection in the diner window in front of him, watching you laugh with Reggie and the customers at the bar, smiling sweetly when someone makes a request of you. He needs to get out of there before he starts feeling creepy, he thinks. He rises and walks to the counter to settle his bill with Reggie at the cash register, glancing at you when he does so, futilely trying to balance showing interest and being weird. He leaves a nice tip in the jar for all of you to share, but just before he turns to go, he looks back at you, locking eyes.

“Oh uh, Sweetie?,” he says, smirk on his face. He looks almost bashful when he speaks next, like he’s working up the courage. “Glad you’re picking up. Look forward to seein’ you again,” he smiles. The look on his face when he says it is so sincere, you could melt on the spot. He was nervous about his joke, you could tell, but recovered when you laughed in reply.

“Looking forward to it too, Joel. Enjoy your day,” you say, smiling wide in return. He gives a little wave to everyone before grinnig down at his shoes and walking out of the diner into the crisp February air. Your eyes follow him out to the pick-up he hops into, before looking back over to Reggie and Tony, staring at you devilishly.

“And I’m looking forward to seeing this story unravel,” says Reggie, looking over at Tony and grinning, like something juicy has just unfolded before their eyes. The two are laughing while you smile and wave them off, wiping down the counter. Diane emerges from the office at the sound of their hearty laughter, reading glasses slipping down her nose, notepad in hand, and stares back at the three of you.

“What’d I miss?!,” she asks. You’re smiling too much to respond with anything genuine, so you return to your wiping, and let Reggie take the lead.

[jeyunhos]

Reputation | jyh

pairing: professor!yunho x college student!fem!reader cw: power dynamics, professor x student, cunnilingus, 18+ minors do not interact. Summary: Your creative writing professor is so hot you're about to fail his class. Dying to help you, the both of you figure out a new method to increase your penmanship. A/N: glasses yunho is driving me crazy, you hear me, CRAZY

You ever had a teacher with a sort of reputation? The crazy one, the smelly one, the strict one... There's probably a repertoire of clichés and boxes you could fit every single one of this semester's teachers in, but recently, you had grown fond of one particular class: Creative Writing, with professor Jeong Yunho, the dreamy one.

Yunho had a reputation alright, a reputation as the one teacher every girl fell for. Leave alone his absolutely stunning looks, he was kind, patient, and gentle, an all-rounder of a teacher who could instruct a rock on how to write wonderful pieces if he put his mind to it.

One problem, you didn't care for his class at all. Sure, it was fun to try but you were close to failing due to your enormous crush on the man, and you figured your were doomed to continue that way, since the only way to get over him, was to get under him.

You were busy daydreaming about being tied to his office chair as you walked the corridors when you heard your name bounce off the walls and a light trotting behind you. You were snapped back to reality and turned around only to see professor Yunho himself joining you with a huff of his cheeks.

"Phew! I got to catch you." he said excitedly, panting lightly from the sudden outburst of energy he had used.

"Professor" you started, trying to hide your delight and surprise "Is something wrong?" you asked, wondering what he would probably need you for.

"Do you have ten minutes before you head home? I've got to talk to you about your recent piece." in between his large hand he wiggled a foldered set of printed sheets with your most recent submission written on them.

"Sure, right here?" you asked, looking around at the vast prying eyes around you.

He answered with a shake of his head "Join me in my office for a bit."

You followed behind the man through the crowded maze that your school was, he was fast due to his long legs, and hence you were walking slightly behind him. The breeze would carry a bit of his cologne into your nose whenever it blew, heightening the infatuation you already held for him.

Rumors were also true, he was a complete gentleman. The second you got to his office he opened the door and moved aside to let you past and held the chair out for you to sit.

"So," he started as he fixed his suit jacket the moment he sat down "I'm worried about your final grade." Yunho went straight to the tone, which let you know that whatever fantasy you were having about being bent over the desk was not happening.

"What do you mean?" you feigned innocence, knowing damn well that you were close to repeating the class. Well, not that you would mind staring at him for another whole semester, but it wasn't exactly something you could afford.

"Yes, however..." he started, pulling the file open to look at the printed version of your work "Despite having submitted every assignment, your scores have been constantly low and that's because," he cleared his throat, as if trying to find less harsh words to describe your work "the pieces are just not good."

You felt a blush, proof of your embarrassment, creep around your face through your neck, your sight lowered in shame, something he immediately noticed. Your final project was writing a short story about romance, with a twist, and an ending of your choice.

"Let's go over some lines slowly" he said with a gentle, charming smile "For example, this one 'in that moment they felt they were falling in love'" he explained. "Do you see what is wrong with that line?"

"They weren't falling in love?" you asked innocently, not really sure of what he wanted you to answer.

Your little joke caused him to laugh in the form of a chuckle. He was mostly amused by the hardness of your head. He leaned backwards and looked up at you.

"Have you ever been in love?" he asked nonchalantly, as if he was asking 'how have you been?' to an old friend.

With you, you thought to yourself, but of course that couldn't leave your lips.

"Not exactly sure." you admitted finally.

He let out a sigh and nodded mostly to himself .

"In writing, you don't really want to tell the audience what the characters are doing or feelings are experimenting, it reduces imagination to a mere instruction." he explained "You want to tell them about everything else but the actual feeling. So, say, if the characters were falling in love, instead of saying it straight out, you want to describe the way their hearts raced, or how they couldn't pry their eyes from each other despite the chaos around them, or how they longed for something so much more than a mere graze of their lips." he tried to explain to you, but in your face he could see you were not grasping it. "But I guess that's hard if you've never experienced it first hand."

You nodded along with every bit of his explanation, and there was a hint of disappointment and hurt on your face when he finally finished his sentence.

Picking up on this, he gently tapped his hands on the desk and reincorporated himself to lean forward "Let's try something else." he proposed, catching your attention "I'll give you a week, rewrite the thing, but don't do romance, do erotica instead." he asked with a smile on your face.

"Erotica?" you inquired, quite surprised by this new task.

"It's hard to say we have experienced love" he said "But we've all been aroused, it's in our programming as mammals" with a grin, he handed the folder over to you "All my notes are there, write some erotica, send it to my e-mail, and we can talk about your final grade, alright?"

With a swipe of his hand, he ended up dismissing you. You obliged and left the office, albeit reluctantly since being alone with him had been a delight, and headed home to begin working.

Not that you were foreign to fantasizing about sexual scenarios, especially involving him, but putting them into words was a whole other ordeal. 'We all have been aroused' these words resonated in your head, and so, you got all hands on deck.

Four days later, your final manuscript was in his inbox, and only a few hours afterwards you got another e-mail:

jyunho@school.com: Please meet me at 8:00pm in my office to discuss the grade.

8? That was kind of late, but you figured he was in a rush since the semester was ending soon and all the final grades had to be uploaded to the school online system. Plus, it's not like you were exactly in the position to refuse anything, your passing grade was at stake.

You dolled yourself up a bit right before the agreed time, just in case you figured, and went on your merry way. The university halls were creepily abandoned due to the late hour save for some offices with the lights still on, part of being the end of the semester you guessed, and it made you feel uneasy; said feeling disappeared almost immediately once you reached the right door. "Professor Jeong Yunho" it read.

"Come in" you heard a raspy voice call after you knocked.

He himself was a sight to behold. Hair slightly disheveled, suit jacket laid over the back of the chair, black turtleneck shirt on. He looked tired and felt like so.

"So?" you said with a cheery voice, trying to lighten the mood, as you approached the chair.

He let out a sigh, similar to last time but now more exasperated "Still not good." he blurted out.

You could tell his guard was down, because the Yunho you knew as your teacher wouldn't talk so roughly, yet there was something thrilling about said demeanor, something inherently hot to seeing him so worked up.

"You keep describing the actions, this is even worse than the romance one." he added some salt to your wound "'they kissed roughly and she was pinned down to the bed'? This is not a report, this is supposed to be exciting, where's the erotism, the magnetism, the-" as he was ranting on his own with you sitting across his desk, looking amiss of words to be honest, he stopped himself half way when he came to a sudden realization.

"The...?" you tried to ask once he was staring at you in utter silence.

"Close your eyes." he ordered.

"What?" despite your eagerness to obey him, almost naturally, you had to double check that you were listening correctly

"We're going to do a little exercise, close your eyes." he said once more.

You finally obliged and shut your lids. You weren't entirely sure what was happening around you, but promptly you felt a presence behind you.

"I'm going to do a couple of things, I want you to describe to me how you feel when I do them." you could tell he was the presence you had felt from the direction of his voice.

Fuck. You had to be careful, this was getting dangerous. Despite your eagerness to be his little toy, you knew if you didn't tread lightly you could find yourself reported or expelled if he didn't feel the same. So, you made a mental note to actually pay attention and figure out if this little predicament could work out in your favor.

As you were conjuring your evil plan in your brain, he began to work on his own. You felt the tip of his fingers on the back of your hands, slowly crawling up through your forearms, your biceps, and finally your shoulders.

"Talk to me" he urged when you didn't respond "How do you feel?" he repeated himself.

"Warm." you said out loud, your eyes still shut.

It's not like you weren't trying, really, but his touch had wiped your mind blank effectively.

His head shook firmly in disappointment, there was no getting through to you no matter how complex the method he was using, and how certainly... risky. But he couldn't deny this new way was getting him excited, possibly in ways it was not exactly code-of-conduct-appropriate.

"I'll help you." he leaned over further to repeat the movement he had done seconds before, his head hovering next to your ear. "When I touch your hand your skin feels soft, almost silk-like. I grow curious, so my hands travel further up, your forearm is delightful, it sets within me a hunger I can only sasiate with the subtle violence of a bite, but I can't bring myself to do it, not just yet, there's so much I want to explore, so I continue my path until I get to your neck."

His words were beyond arousing to you. The way his hands and body mimicked everything he spoke of was setting your skin ablaze. You wanted him badly, and you had made it your resolve to finally get him to sleep with you, you didn't know how, but you were determined to lead him where you wanted.

"Try again." he instructed, his hands moving away from your neck. "Tell me how you feel."

You were slightly disappointed at the lack of contact, and you were worried you might have missed your window. However, something else entirely caused a gasp out of you. His lips were now grazing the base of your neck and you could feel the hot breath that came out of his mouth straight onto your skin.

"My skin feels like crawling with heat," you began to say "A tingle travels from my hand, following your touch all the way up to my neck; my expectations grow and I wonder just how far you will take this. Your lips wake the goosebumps whenever they touch, and I crave to feel them over my body."

As you spoke, you could lightly hear his breath hitch and, for a second, you could swear he was going to do it, he was going to kiss your neck, but he stopped.

"Seems like you got it" he said as he pulled back after clearing his throat. He moved from behind your chair to lean against his desk, his rear almost laying on it; his arms were crossed over his chest once you opened your eyes.

"Hardly" was all you could say, and you stole a glance at how his pants seemed to have gotten tighter on the front.

"Hardly?" he asked, his head tilting "Is there anything else you're struggling with?"

It was going to be like that, huh? He was not going to drop the teaching charade. Well, you knew a thing or two about playing the student in despair.

You stood up from where you were sitting and walked over to Yunho, your hands hidden innocently behind your back. He was getting a kick out of it, you could tell, perhaps Mr. Jeong was a lot more sinful that he looked at bare glances; well, you'd indulge him.

"Kisses, for example, how do you go from 'looking at each other' to 'kissing' without saying something lame like, I don't know, 'they kissed'?" now you were guiding the situation to where you wanted it to go, you figured.

"Well, with kisses you want to start slow, not quite jump right to it." he began to explain, still keeping his intellectual facade "Like..." he continued, his hand slowly raising to land on the back of your neck, his fingers playing lightly with the back of your hair. His eyes landed on yours and you could finally feel the desire that had been pooling between your legs mirrored in the darkness of his pupils "...this."

Once he finished his sentence he leaned in closer, his lips brushed yours and you tried to close the gap, but he pulled back the slightest. 'Fuck' you thought, but the second you wanted to pull back the hand that was holding your neck forced you otherwise.

Your lips melted together with his almost immediately and he had to inhale a sharp breath; it was only innocent for a couple of seconds, because after his free arm snaked around your waist, his palm to your lower back, all logic fell off the window. From both parts.

The chaste, educational kiss faded quickly and was replaced by his tongue brushing against your bottom lip in attempt to ask for entrance, a permission that was granted immediately. He was exploring the entirety of your mouth, ravishing on the taste of your tongue against his.

It wasn't long before both of you were consumed by the unmistakable desire to break one sacred rule, of diving into unexplored taboo of sleeping with your teacher. He picked up on it rather quick, and shortly he was pulling away.

He bounced himself off his desk and his hands guided you by the hips to turn around, flipping your positions. His hand was certainly gentle, but with such sturdiness you wouldn't even dare disobey his silent commands. One of them held your hair and pushed it down, bending you over his desk with your clothes still on.

This last statement didn't remain true for long, as his needy fingers quickly dived on your lower garments, dipping roughly inside the waistbands and pulling down altogether.

His lips pursed at the sight of your bare ass and cunt all laid down for him, his right thumb trailing your slit and clit teasingly.

"I don't have to narrate what happens next, do I?" he asked. It was his own version of asking for consent.

"I'll still take notes." you teased back, looking over your shoulder.

He let out an amused chuckle and you saw him begin fumbling with his zipper. There was a rumor that he was packing down there, and you were now confirming it with your own eyes. Not ginormous, but certainly a bit above average.

From his pocket, he pulled out a condom which he carefully ripped open to roll it over his shaft; once securely wrapped, he positioned himself on your entrance and slowly began to push it. The slightly painful stretch was delightful, poetic almost, to you.

"You okay?" he grunted under his breath, trying his best to not start pouding right away.

You simply replied with a positive hum and that was everything he needed. With enough force he began to thrust into you, deep and sensual at the beginning, and you could feel him gradually getting rougher.

You were smart enough to keep your moans at bay, but when he started to push all the way in to the point it felt like rearranging you, it became harder and harder. He couldn't be sure that there weren't other teachers around, since it was still around eight thirty, so he had to help you somehow; one of his hands as kept on your hip as grip and the other one had to be pressed up against your mouth. The palm was so wide it almost covered your nose too, and he was extra careful not to accidentally suffocate you.

As a result, your head was pulled back and slightly to the side where he was pressing from, leaving an area of your neck free to his admiration. His thrusts continued to pick up the pace and roughness, and at some point they became so strong the desk began to slide backwards, making an annoying, dragging sound with every thrust.

Yunho was forced to let go of your hip and bend over to hover over you. He was tall enough that his head reached yours and his hand was able to hold the other edge of the desk to stop it from dragging on the floor. As a consequence, your skin was near his lips once more, and he decided to give in to his previous temptation and bite down gently on your skin, leaving a hot mark behind but not a bruise.

"I can't hold back much longer." he said into your ear in an almost apologetic tone.

Your agreement was muffled by his hand, but you let him know it was okay. He continued to grunt and pant heavily against your skin with rough, powerful thrusts into your cunt, but the rhythm was more erratic, and you could tell he was close.

Finally, with a moan of your name that he muffled with your neck, he came.

Being honest, you were a little disappointed that you hadn't gotten to orgasm yourself, but having fucked him was already prize enough, you were not about to get greedy on an already wrong and thoroughly enjoyable sexual encounter.

As you were sunked in these thoughts, he pulled out from you and began fixing his clothes rather quickly. Following his lead, you leaned back up and reached down to pick up your own until his voice stopped you.

"Woah, woah, what are you doing?" he asked, reaching quickly after putting himself back in his pants to avoid you from putting your own back up. "No, no." he continued quickly, his free hand bending you over once more. "Rule number one of erotica: the woman is never left unsatisfied."

You weren't sure what he meant by that, was he going to fuck you again? Maybe, but you weren't sure he could just right away, sure he was young but.. oh.

The long lap at your clit from behind surprised you greatly and caused a long, quiet moan out of you. You could feel him lapping and sucking at your slit with renewed energy, and it was driving you insane just how well he was eating you out.

As he continued his ministrations with his tongue from behind, one of his thumbs reached for your clit, circling it slowly and deliberately, he knew pretty damn well where everything was and he was not about to be shy about it.

Your legs began to tremble, and he was moaning into your womanhood with every taste of it which only added fuel to the fire within you. It wasn't long before you started to feel the familiar tingle on your stomach., and seconds later you allowed yourself to cum against his mouth.

Satisfied with his performance and having reached his goal, he helped you with your clothes back up and walked over back to his chair with you still bent over the desk as you regained your composure. His head tilted so his cheek was almost touching the wooden surface and he could be eye-level with you.

"I expect your story by tomorrow, okay?" he said with an innocent smirk.

"Yes, professor" you said in between pants before you raised to your feet again "And thank you, this was very useful." you added.

That night, you went back to your home and began writing in extreme detail everything that man had done to you; all while changing names, locations, and times, of course. Nothing more erotic than keeping a secret, after all.

The story came out naturally and easily, with a newfound talent that you could have sworn was not there before, somehow Jeong Yunho had managed to fuck it out of you, and so, when you began to struggle with the last lines of your work, the image of his smiling face gave you a strike of genius:

'..and as the young girl hardly waddled out of the room, feeling refreshed, brought anew, she came to the realization that some men really do live up to their reputation."

[jkvjimin]

I refuse to believe he's real 😩 cr. namuspromised

[cheese-n-crack]

doodles for an au that i may or may not ever post

[flovoid]

THE VALENTINO VAMP FAM

[starmocha]

Remember when I said the Grassland!Sylus childhood friends/arranged marriage/soulmates AU was at around 4.6k words?

she grew and I still have like three scenes I need to finish writing, but instead of doing that, I kept writing new scenes and...I think I lost control of the story and my life (╥_╥)

So I'm posting another snippet, because...my brain is tired and I really, really, really want to finish this by Sunday because I have another AU wip that I'm also obsessed with I mean I need to finish part 3 of that other Sylus breeding kink fic I promise it's coming

Reminder that this story will include light breeding kink, pregnancy kink, smut, body worship, gratuitous usages of terms of endearment ("my bride" and "my beloved"), Sylus being grossly in love with you, basically lots of fluff. Anyhoo...

The following morning you were lazing in the field as the flock of sheep grazed peacefully all around you. The warm sunlight had you yawning, already feeling yourself being lured by the tempting sun into drifting back to sleep. As the time passed, your eyes felt heavier, and you nodded off a little. Another yawn escaped before you decided a few minutes of rest wouldn’t hurt. Slowly, you closed your eyes, letting them rest for a few minutes. “Is this what you do when I’m not here?” You immediately opened your eyes when you heard Sylus’ approaching voice. You let out a soft surprised squeak when he knelt down next to you, his face looming just mere inches from yours. He was smirking. “Lazing around and sleeping? What if your sheep gets stolen by wild beasts, my beloved?” You glared at him. “I was not sleeping. I…was blinking.” “Your eyes were closed for far longer than a blink should be.” “I had some dust in my eyes.” “I’m quite sure I heard you snoring.” You blushed and shoved his face aside, glowering when he started laughing at you. “Did you come all the way out here just to tease me?” “Mmhmm,” he answered with a pleased nod as he sat back with his legs propped up. His elbow rested on top of his leg while he cradled his chin in his hand. You noticed in his other hand was a wreath crafted from leaves and berries. Your heart quickened and you gasped softly. You looked at him expectantly. It was at that moment that you noticed the dark bags under his eyes. You crawled over to him and he sat back, allowing you to settle in between his long legs. You reached up and touched his face. “Did you not sleep last night?” you asked him worriedly. He simply smiled and shook his head. Without a word, Sylus placed the wreath on top of your head. You reached up and touched it tentatively as you looked at him confused. “I wanted to finish this for you,” he explained, smiling, “Just as I had thought. This suits you.” “R-really?” “Mmhmm,” he hummed again, nodding. He leaned in to steal your lips. “You look beautiful.” “Sylus…” You could feel your cheeks warming up as he spoke. “Now everyone will know you are mine and I am yours.” You felt touched by his gesture. Without thinking, you threw your arms around his neck, surprising him into losing his balance. Sylus laid on the grass with you on top of him. You grinned and kissed him happily. He looked up, gasping softly when he saw the sunlight had formed a radiant halo behind your head. How…ethereal... He smiled, his hand gently grasped your chin, his thumb brushing over your soft, trembling lips. “We are already promised to one another,” he said, “but if I may be presumptuous, I would still like to ask.” You looked down at him confused. “My beloved,” he said, voice soft and sincere, “will you be my bride?” You stroked his cheek, and as you leaned down closer to his face, your wreath tilted on your head. “What do you think?” He smiled. “Your wreath is going to fall off.” “You’ll put it back on for me, right?” He huffed in amusement at your audacious question, but he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, reaching up to fix the wreath for you, “I will…my bride.” For that brief moment, you felt like your heart had stopped, and then you smiled again as you leaned in and kissed him, feeling his strong arms wrapped around you and holding you close to his body. “This is my vow to you, my bride” he said, “There is only you in my eyes. In this life and all of the lifetimes afterwards, I will always choose you.” “Same for me,” you answered, gazing back at him fondly. You stroked his cheek, letting yourself drown in those passionate crimson eyes. “I will always find you,” you promised, “In all of our lives together, I will always find you and choose you, my love.” Your ardent words beckoned his lips to yours, and for the rest of the day, you lay together under the warm morning sun on the grassland, lost in your own world of bliss.

[sollucets]

veiled zhou zishu

[vampiefemme]

having a full time job is so fucking homophobic, likeee what do you mean i can’t spend all day writing lesbian fanfiction? im gonna jump.

[ridingtorohan]

*slides in* hey,, :3 can you make some general relationship hcs for my man swansea, i love him so much <3

Swansea? In this household? It's more likely than you think. This one is more fleshed out just for all you starved Swansea lovers out there. Ended up more mature (not nsfw but just mature) than fluffy.

𓇻 ft. swansea x gn reader

𓇻 request. relationship headcanons!

𓇻 content. referenced age gap but in the context of "if you have an age gap". reader is not swansea's first spouse in this one. referenced ex-wife and kids. mention of drinking and recreational drug use.

𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, reblog, or send in asks!

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A lot of late nights just sitting out on the back porch, drinking sodas and shooting the breeze.

Swansea who holds your hands steady as he takes you out hunting, his burly hands over yours as he steadies the shotgun. He definitely gets your initials engraved in it at one point.

Swansea who sits through your drinking sessions and any recreational medicinal trips that you choose to take, who only sighs and holds your hair out of your eyes, pressing a cold cloth to your forehead. Swansea who always knows the best remedy for all of it. Who doesn’t shame you for choosing to partake in those activities but wants you to do it safely.

Swansea who carries your bags everywhere with a pinched face but never lets you take them from him.

Gets grumpy when he takes you fishing with him and you catch more, but fillets them and makes a subpar grilled fish but it’s fine because it’s him.

He slides any wine-cooked foods onto your plate with a surly look. No matter how many times he’s told that it gets cooked out, he doesn’t want to risk a relapse. Doesn’t want to risk you.

He prefers to sleep with you laying on top of him. He’s comfortable with his weight, so he’s actually fond of you sleeping on his stomach.

Above all else, his sons mean the world to him. So it’s a major relief when they either tolerate or accept you, especially if there’s a considerable age gap between you and him.

If you’re closer to his kids’ ages, he’s content with letting you three hash out shared experiences.

If there’s an age gap: he’s a little amused the first time someone assumed you were his kid. It becomes a little annoying after a while but he makes the dry comment of “yeah, they’re only with me until I kick the bucket and they get the inheritance” sugardad spiel and that shuts them up quick. He always finds great amusement in that.

Always has a knack for remembering the little details. He doesn’t do extravagant outings or presents, but remembers the shirt you liked in a store, or a dvd you watched as a kid. He’ll gift them to you later. He absolutely does not expect nor want reciprocation in gifts. Your company and affection is more than enough for that.

Are you in school, studying something? Swansea will sit down and go over your homework with you. In fact, he’ll learn your subjects so that he can help you better. He’s actually good at that. He may, in fact, enroll in a few classes to better understand.

Late night drives into the sunset in his beat up, vintage car, with the hood down and blowing through your hair. He’ll let you drive if you ask. If you don’t know how, he’ll actually teach you.

The hardest hurdle in your relationship would be that he’s harsh in his criticisms and tactless for it. His words can be nasty, and it’ll be a while before he realizes they cut you. He’s not prone to apologies but he’ll try to make it up to you. It’ll be an uphill battle to get him out of that habit.

Going to extended family barbeques. You’ll always get served first. Not prone to pda but will gladly kiss you whenever you want.

It’s a habit for him to wear his old wedding ring and he probably won’t even think to remove it until you mention it. If it’s an issue, he’ll swap it out for a different one of your choice.

Doesn’t initially think of marriage first so it’ll be something that you bring up. At this point in his life, he’s content being in a common law relationship with you, but will agree to marrying you. It’s one of those “he doesn’t feel the need to” but will gladly do it. I repeat: gladly. He wouldn’t do it just because you want him to. He wants to. He just doesn't mind if it happens or not.

Only wants the marriage to be a small affair with family but will acquiesce if you want a larger one.

Actually asks if you’d prefer a whole new wedding band for the pair of you. Again, he’s not overly attached to his old one, but it’s familiar to him. Definitely fidgets with the new one a lot until he gets used to it. You’ll have to bring up the topic of kids. May try to coax you into a dog instead. Still becomes the best dad ever if you two have a kid anyway. (He tries, anyway, and he has experience.)

Always awake during thunderstorms but will gently coax you back to sleep. Also a pro if you’re prone to nightmares. Somehow half asleep when he does it.

King of bubble baths. Knows all the perfumes, fizzing bombs, candles, etc that all compliment each other. Likes to either have you against his chest while you’re both in the tub OR him behind you (outside of the tub) while he pampers you.

If you’re multilingual, he’ll slowly learn your language then surprise you with it randomly. It’s butchered horribly and, honestly, if you laugh at him about it he may just give up.

Anything barbequed is his apology food. Sometimes, rarely, you’ll get a dessert that’s underwhelming (think cake that flopped in the middle).

Has the absolute most beautiful penmanship and he, without fail, signs each card as from the both of you. Also gives cards for anniversaries and birthdays.

He’ll stand behind you in the doorway as you’re watching a show. If it’s some kind of soap drama or reality tv, he seems to scarily know alot about it and will indulge you in all of the facts.

You two spend a lot of time with the neighbours. Not because Swansea introduces you two but because they always come around. The kids, especially, become increasingly familiar with you and refer to you two as their “grandparents” (regardless of how old you are).

Not an avid cuddler but will let you cuddle him. He’ll just drape an arm around you and, when you try to leave at some point, will tighten his grip just enough to convince you to stay.

While watching tv together, somehow, he always winds up with your feet on his lap. Swansea is pretty proficient at foot massages.

You two absolutely slay when it comes to the tango. He always has enough energy to go a few rounds and then some. He may grumble in protest if you try to pull him into a dance whenever any music comes on, but he’ll oblige.

Swansea leaves sticky notes everywhere for you; these can range from compliments, chore lists, to whatever feud you two are having (he’s humoured by the sticky notes during fights so he’ll break first in that case) to even little commentary like “watch the newest episode”.

Swansea is secure in the relationship in that he won’t bat an eye if your eyes linger on someone, but he’ll end up sliding up in front of you if someone tries to make a pass. You’re his, hands off, pal.

Simultaneously the best and worst person to watch a series with. He’ll nod off after a while partway through or stay up to watch a few more episodes before he realizes you fell asleep. If you both start a series that he’s already ahead of you on, he’ll inadvertently spoil it by going “is (name) still alive?”. He sometimes says it just to fuck with you. Watching new series together tends to be more golden though. He’ll be completely unphased if you spoil it for him.

Carries you to bed either bridal or piggy-back style. He will complain about it if you’re awake. Always seems to know when you’re fake sleeping just to have him carry you but it’s endearing. “Nice try, sweetheart. Don’t worry ‘bout nothing, though, I’ve got you.”

Really likes the look of you in his t-shirts. Something about seeing you in his clothes makes him feel so homey and softer. As if this is the sight he wants to come home to every night for the rest of his life. (It is.) He tends to wrap his arms around you and settle his chin on top of your head, just lingering. He'll grumble if you take his shirts but you'll always find a new one easily accessible.

Wakes you up with loud clanging sounds as he gets ready for the day. It’s all accidental, he’s just a loud individual; always putting a bit too much force behind closing drawers, rifling through cabinets or loud banging in the kitchen as he gets coffee ready. Grumbles an apology but kisses you good morning as he reads the newspaper.

He absolutely hates if you finish his crossword puzzle, namely without him. It's the one thing he won't share with you.

He either makes enough food just for himself or enough to feed an army. There’s no in between. He, however, doesn’t complain if you steal food off his plate aside from raised eyebrows and a long, suffering sigh. Willingly slides the food onto your plate if you stop doing it though.

Honestly, another sticking point in your relationship could be his relationship with his ex-wife. They’ve been separated for a long while before you two got together, but they have two sons together and raised them together. They still have family trips between the four of them (you’re invited, as well as his ex’s new partner). But it can feel especially chummy to those who are insecure about people being friends with exes. This will be one line he won’t back down from. There’s absolutely nothing romantic between them anymore but he’s not going to cut her out; they’re friendly and she’s literally the mother of his children.

Swansea takes photos of things that he thinks you'll like; usually, it somehow winds up with an accidental, unflattering frontal camera selfie (which you save anyway) or half-blurried shot. He takes the time to photograph you properly though, going as far as adding all the filters you like to it. He'll refuse any bodily changing ones (removing acne, making yourself skinnier, smoothing wrinkles, etc). He loves you just as you are and it's unfathomable to think that you don't.

Tends to pay for everything. Bills, dinner dates, gifts. It may lead to a feeling of financial dependency (despite having a job) and it’ll be a discussion to be had if you’re not cool with it.

Absolutely refuses to buy new clothes or retire aging items. He’s especially handy (being a mechanic has its perks) so he just repairs it. You’ll have to gift him new items and remove his old ones to actually get him to use any of it though. “They just don’t make ‘em like they used ta.”

While he feels formal clothing feels stuffy, he cuts a nice figure in his suit. But he absolutely cannot take his eyes off you when you’re all dressed up.

A proper gentleman. He opens doors for you, pays the dinner bill, arriving early, pulling out chairs for you. Also knows which fancy spoon or fork to use at important meetings. (He’ll cough slightly and look pointedly at you as he demonstrates.) It’s ingrained in his very soul. You’ll have to beat it out of him if you want him to stop. (Please don’t beat him.)

He keeps a photo of you in his wallet and on the vanity mirror. He invited you to join the Christmas photo for when his family sends out cards. He wears the most godawful ugliest Christmas sweater and looks terribly grumpy; but in each one, he can’t take his eyes off you. (That’s in most of the photos with him, actually.)

Swansea lets you rifle through his phone without complaint; you probably know a lot more about it than he does. He’ll bitch about it so hard if your contact photo for him is him in an absolutely weird sleeping position, but will grumble if you change it. Whatever contact photo you have for him, he’ll reciprocate.

While he can learn new things and will proudly show off his own expertise, if it’s something that you showed him, he’ll have you do it each time afterward. It’s not that he’s lazy, it’s just that he thinks it’s kind of hot and endearing to see you perform such tasks confidently.

Somehow, he ends up with the weirdest pets and names them the most diabolical thing like “Shizzlord 3000”. (Courtesy of his youngest son from an inside joke when the youngest was a kid.) (He'd actually choose something "classy" like Washington or Churchill.) They’re always raccoons, beavers or bats. Once a full on elk. He’s full on the animal whisperer and somehow has them docile towards both him and you. Although he’s fully prepared to full on yeet them out the door the second they harm you. Full on just chucks them out with surprising strength.

Swansea catches on quick if you find any action he does as attractive. Rolled up sleeves? He’ll be parading around like that all the time with a little smirk. “Don’t get yer knickers in a twist, I’m just washin’ the dishes over here.” It’s a bit of a playful game to see how long you’ll go until you lose it.

Swansea winds up with a tattoo of your name on his shoulder at some point during your relationship. The cheesy one that has the heart and a scroll, going “(name) 4EVER”. While he never tells you where or when he got it, he’s secretly very proud of it. He’ll also get your wedding date tattooed on him, alongside the date of when you first met, close to where he has his kids’ birthdays tattooed.

𓇻 tags: @jambalaya-enthusiast

[pangeen]

“ Wise Words From a Legend “ // Sir Christopher Walken

Via © Alpha Motivation

[jinxedshapeshifter]

Analyzing Klavier's Behavior Because I Am Nothing If Not Predictable*

*But also I made this post at 2am and am determined to see it through

Alright so a few days ago I posted this reblog of a response to a post I made mentioning that Klavier's behavior that is so commonly poked at as "Klavier, there was a murder" could very well be a coping mechanism. As you'll know if you've read the essay I wrote on the parallels between Ryulock and Homumiko, I really like to analyze fictional characters. So I have decided to analyze Klavier Gavin's behavior throughout his appearances because there's implications in there that I think aren't talked about enough.

(Also important to note because I feel like it'll come up; this is all my interpretation of Klavier's behavior based on a combination of personal experience and just how I read his behavior. I am not going to claim my analysis to be objectively correct.)

Part 1: A Brief-ish Summary of Klavier's Canon Appearances

Klavier's only canon appearances are in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney and Turnabout Academy in Dual Destinies (which is a shame but that's not my point). In the latter, he's not acting as Prosecutor Gavin, he's acting as Rock God Klavier. I still think, for the sake of context, it's important to go over these appearances and how he acts during each one.

Turnabout Corner

Our first introduction to Klavier is in Turnabout Corner, the second episode of Apollo Justice. He's introduced as a cool, suave prosecutor that likes to throw his weight around a little (as indicated by him overriding the police and allowing Trucy and Apollo to investigate People Park), and it's easy to (correctly) assume pretty early on that he doesn't really care about giving information to the defense like every other prosecutor in the series (something that will come up later). In Turnabout Corner, we also learn about Klavier's status as a rockstar, and how he usually acts during court proceedings. Apollo's first impression, which carries over into Turnabout Serenade and is still part of how he sees Klavier into Dual Destinies, is that Klavier tends to not take things very seriously.

Turnabout Serenade

Turnabout Serenade is... interesting. We see a side of Klavier that he seems to want to keep under wraps at first — he's a perfectionist when it comes to his music, and his focus is on Daryan's missed cue, not the fact that a murder happened at his concert; notably, he's focused on Daryan's fuck-up, when he's not the only one who messed up during the concert. He comes off as irritable during investigation segments, seeming to put on a mask of his usual confident and carefree attitude when Apollo and Trucy show up.

This is also the first time Klavier starts to get honestly pretty mean when even the implication that something he didn't want to be true is true is suggested. The second Apollo implies LeTouse was murdered during the second set (which is when he first presents the igniter) Klavier gets mean ("Herr Forehead, don't destroy what little respect I have for you!" which implies he never had much respect for him in the first place, which I'd argue is not the case but I'll get into that later). We get into Daryan's testimony once it's made clear that Daryan's a suspect, and at that point he's less mean to Apollo and tearing into Daryan instead. Turnabout Serenade alone shows that Klavier's views of people can and will change on a dime.

Turnabout Succession (2019 section)

I'm gonna get it out of the way now, Klavier is a brat during the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession. This is relevant; he seems to have grown out of this by Turnabout Corner, but he's still prone to being a dick. Klavier's also much more egotistical during the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession; most notably, he brags about the success of The Gavinners multiple times during the trial (which Phoenix describes as an "utter lack of humility"). As a 24/25-year-old, he's not normally an egocentric asshole; this trait only really shows itself during times where he'd be stressed. Again, we'll get to that.

Turnabout Succession (responses to Kristoph's involvement)

The first reaction to Kristoph's involvement is when Vera mentions the commemorative stamp with Troupe Gramarye on it, and he gets intense about asking Vera about what the first forgery she made was. He actually scares Vera and concerns the judge:

And this is where he first breaks down. Trucy gets concerned, Apollo has to tell him to calm the fuck down because he's badgering the witness (at which point Klavier calls Phoenix Apollo's "soiled, sullied mentor"), and then Vera collapses from atroquinine poisoning and the trial ends. I cannot imagine what the next span of time before the trial continued was like for Klavier.

Once Kristoph actually takes the stand, Klavier's quite quiet for a while, aside from defending Kristoph when you press certain statements (and even then, Kristoph will not hesitate to talk over Klavier). Apollo even mentions that Klavier's acting different, and decides it's because Kristoph's in the courtroom. Klavier gets so upset that he can't even function properly, which Kristoph blames on Apollo ("My, my. You've upset my poor brother to the point of uselessness."). Klavier does eventually snap out of it and accuses Kristoph of bluffing, and the rest of the trial he works with Apollo to convince the jurists that Kristoph is behind Drew and Vera's poisoning, not Vera (although he does tell Apollo he's leaving the case if he can't prove Kristoph is behind forging the evidence in the Zak Gramarye case).

Klavier's behavior in the 2026 sections of Turnabout Succession very much remind me of 17-year-old Klavier, and his breakdown sprite does not help this (which I've also done an analysis on. Parts of that analysis will be relevant later). Again, this will come up later.

Turnabout Academy

I personally think Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Academy is also similar to his behavior when he was 17, although in the complete opposite direction from Turnabout Succession. Looking at Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Succession's 2019 section vs his behavior during Turnabout Academy, I am immediately struck by similarities. Notably, Klavier exhibits some degree of inflated self-confidence (he calls his own voice "godlike" if you present the tape recorder to him, tells Apollo and Athena to find the Gavinners banner, leading Athena to wonder if he just wants his banner back, claims the burnt fragments of the Gavinners banner is a "challenge directed at [Klavier] and Gavinners fans everywhere"), which leads him to put down Apollo specifically (telling Apollo that the role of a fledgling lawyer is one he was "born to play," calling Apollo a wet blanket, "That feigned swagger does not suit you in the least," probably jokingly accusing Apollo of destroying the statues of Klavier and Phoenix).

It's all behavior that feels like it should come from 17-year-old Klavier, not 25-year-old Klavier, at least not under most circumstances.

Part 2: A Slightly More In-Depth Analysis of Klavier's Behavior

Klavier's behavior, notably, changes depending on the circumstances he's in. I think it's important to figure out what the baseline for adult Klavier's behavior is before we go any further however.

I, personally, think the baseline for Klavier's behavior is most clear in Turnabout Corner. He doesn't have any personal involvement in the case beyond Apollo getting Kristoph thrown in prison, and he's pretty chill the entire case. It feels like, at the very least, he's adhering to his rock god persona (and I don't think it's a stretch to assume that's at least partially what he's like when he's not masking anything). Turnabout Corner serving as the baseline for Klavier's behavior also makes sense from a writing standpoint. So, I'm going to use Turnabout Corner as a baseline for Klavier's behavior. Now that we have that out of the way, let's analyze Klavier's behavior.

Part 2.1: Turnabout Serenade

So, first of all, let's look at the transition from Turnabout Corner to Turnabout Serenade. Klavier's having fun, he's at a concert and performing with someone he looks up to and admires. Then, tragedy strikes. A murder happens during the third set. The pianist for the second set is arrested. Daryan missed a cue he shouldn't have missed. This is the first time Klavier is aggressive. It's the first time we see perfectionist Klavier. The second Apollo and Trucy show up, he starts acting like he did during Turnabout Corner. To be completely clear, I do think he was genuinely happy to see them. I don't think his behavioral change when Apollo and Trucy show up is entirely a front. At worst, he's pretending everything's fine by acting like he normally would. Two explanations I can think of for this:

Maybe he just doesn't want Trucy and Apollo to see him like that.

Maybe he doesn't actually care how Trucy and Apollo see him, and he pretends everything's fine by instinct.

Additionally, this is the first time we truly see the extent of how egocentric Klavier can get. He opts to completely ignore the fact that a murder happened at his concert and instead focuses on Daryan's missed cue. That's what we see, at least.

By the end of the case we find out that missed cue was crucial evidence. That missed cue had implications for the entire incident. It's also implied in Turnabout Corner that Klavier is always multiple steps ahead, and in Turnabout Academy he suggests that the missing Gavinners banner is relevant to the case, and it ends up being crucial to the case. Exactly like Daryan's missed cue.

I don't think Klavier was just being an egocentric asshole here. I think he knew that the missed cue was somehow relevant, especially if he noticed Lamiroir and Machi's mistakes during the second set. If he did notice the mistakes Lamiroir and Machi made, then noticed Daryan's missed cue, I don't doubt he'd think they were somehow related. The one thing saving him was that the entire case, both the defense's side and the prosecution's side, hinged on the murder taking place during the third set, so he gets fucking mean when it's implied the murder might've happened during the second set, because there goes any plausible denial. Once Apollo suggests the murder happened during the second set, Daryan's alibi goes out the window, and he becomes their prime suspect. Basically, Klavier's aggression in Turnabout Serenade, and potentially how set on figuring out Daryan's missed cue he was, was very likely him getting defensive.

Part 2.2: Turnabout Succession

Not gonna talk about the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession much here. Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Succession is very much like his behavior in Turnabout Corner. That is, until Kristoph is made a suspect in Drew Misham's murder.

Klavier's pretty much the same as he was in Turnabout Corner for most of the first trial of Turnabout Succession. He's enjoying himself (a fact Apollo and Trucy mention), he's having fun teasing Spark Brushel a bit.

And then Vera brings up the commemorative stamp with Troupe Gramarye on it. As I mentioned above, he gets so intense about finding out what Vera's first forgery was that he scares Vera, concerns the judge, concerns Trucy, and has Apollo telling him to calm the fuck down because he's badgering the witness. Even taking 17-year-old Klavier into account, that's incredibly out of character for him. 17-year-old Klav was a bit mean to witnesses, sure, but he never badgered them. This exact moment is where, upon replaying AJ:AA, I was like "holy shit, you can pinpoint exactly where and when Klavier realizes Kristoph's involved in this."

During the next trial day, he's out of character on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, by which I mean he's too quiet. Klavier's usually talkative and flamboyant. He likes to test Apollo and Apollo's theories. He likes getting under Apollo's skin. But the second Kristoph's on the witness stand we don't get any of that. He's just quiet and he lets Kristoph talk over him. Kristoph's presence is enough to make him uncharacteristically quiet (which makes me wonder what the fuck their history is, especially with Klavier's "Spinning out of whose control? Mine? ...Or yours?" line after Kristoph says he's spinning out of control and the fact that what triggers Kristoph saying that in the first place is Klavier saying "Let's clean out the family closet" and Kristoph claims Klavier's going to say something he'll regret, but that's a different post for a different time). Klavier eventually gets so desperate for proof that Kristoph killed Drew and tried to kill Vera that he literally begs Apollo to prove it. Once Klavier has seen evidence that would indicate that Kristoph is guilty of Drew's murder, he's mostly back to his normal self.

Part 2.3: Turnabout Academy

Turnabout Academy is interesting because Klavier's behavior still feels off but you aren't playing as Apollo; you're playing as Athena, who doesn't know what Klavier is usually like. Klavier's a lot nicer to Athena than he is to Apollo (he is still a bit mean to Athena at points, just to be clear). I personally think it's because Klavier knows Apollo but doesn't know Athena well, but that's just an assumption, I don't think there's really evidence to support it.

Anyway, Klavier's behavior during Turnabout Academy feels pretty similar to when he was 17 in my opinion. He is brutal with Apollo. Klavier:

Tells Apollo that the role of a fledgling defense attorney is one he "was born to play"

Calls Apollo a wet blanket

Calls Apollo a stick in the mud

Accuses Apollo of destroying the statues of Klavier and Phoenix TWICE (probably jokingly but that's still mean, Klavier. This is also, notably, reflective of Klavier accusing Apollo of setting his guitar on fire in Turnabout Serenade)

17-year-old Klavier, while he doesn't target anyone specifically, is a fucking brat. He's irritating and he likes harassing people (like how 17-year-old Klavier was ever allowed in a court of law is beyond me. Granted this is the same court system that let an 18-year-old with a whip prosecute cases but I digress). In some of 17-year-old Klav's dialogue, we also get a taste of just how egocentric he could get at 17. Some of 17-year-old Klavier's lines in the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession that had me like "wow, never has a more irritating 17-year-old existed":

"Herr Detective, this is my stage. Can the antics."

"And I haven't proven anything yet, beyond my good looks, and startling record sales."

"...Would you hold me accountable for a mistake made in my youth?" "That was just this morning!" "...I am still young."

"I would hope the defense refrains from its customarily broad, sweeping accusations."

"...Truly, there's no substitute for experience. Nothing blinds one to the truth so effectively."

I can 100% see some of those lines also coming from Turnabout Academy Klavier. That then begs the question; if Klavier had evolved past acting like this by the age of 24, why is he back to acting like that by the age of 25?

Simple; it's very likely the same reason his behavior was the way it was in Turnabout Serenade. Constance Courte had personal significance to Klavier and quite literally shaped how Klavier prosecutes cases. Klavier says this himself; "She may have taught the judge course, but she had a huge impact on me. She was fond of saying, 'The end is only justified through proper means.' She wouldn't tolerate dishonesty and always revered what was right beyond all else." From the beginning of the case, it's had more personal significance than any of the cases Klavier prosecuted (while other cases did have personal significance to him, it was only ever clear near the end of the trial).

The thing about Turnabout Academy is that, in terms of Klavier's role in the story, it is incredibly similar to Turnabout Serenade. Here's a list of similarities just to show what I mean:

Both cases involve Klavier having Apollo and the individual he's investigating with figure out something that doesn't seem to be significant to the case but is actually crucial evidence (Daryan's missed cue in Turnabout Serenade and the Gavinners banner in Turnabout Academy)

Both have personal significance to Klavier in some way (Daryan was the culprit of Turnabout Serenade and his mentor is the victim of Turnabout Academy)

You would not be blamed for saying "Klavier there was a MURDER" every time he shows up in both cases

Klavier's roles in Turnabout Serenade and Turnabout Academy are similar enough to me that it caught my attention almost immediately (in fact, I tagged the screenshot I posted of Klavier telling Apollo and Athena to look for the Gavinners banner as "turnabout serenade ass behavior"). That also means that his behavior is similar in both cases; the primary difference, in my opinion at least, is that Klavier's more intense and mean in Turnabout Academy (which was obvious to be quite quickly).

Part 2.4: Klavier's Shifting View of Kristoph

(This isn't important I just wanted to bring it up)

It's made pretty clear in Turnabout Succession's 2019 section that Klavier has a positive view of Kristoph. Klavier takes Kristoph at his word that Phoenix is going to present forged evidence and keeps him anonymous when he mentions that he gave him the tip that Phoenix would present forged evidence. He was excited to go against him in court (which just makes the fact that Kristoph forged evidence to beat him a lot more sad), something he even acknowledges when it's made clear that Kristoph forged the diary page that got Phoenix disbarred ("...Kristoph! We were supposed to face each other in that trial! A fair fight, brother to brother! I deserved that much! You let me borrow the victim's belongings... ...You showed me all your research on the case!").

We can literally watch this crumble during Turnabout Succession. He knows Kristoph is a good defense attorney; when Apollo first meets Klavier in court, Klavier says that he's prosecuting the case because he wanted to see the true strength of "the little boy who bested" Kristoph, which at the very least implies he respects Kristoph's skills as a defense attorney. That's completely crumbled by the end of Turnabout Succession, with Klavier literally telling Kristoph "You're not needed anymore." It's honestly really sad to watch too. It makes you wonder what was going through his head during that span of time during Vera's trial where Klavier's just not as talkative as he usually is and Kristoph's on the witness stand.

(To be clear, I think Klavier knew Kristoph was a piece of shit before Turnabout Succession. I don't think Kristoph's emotional abuse of Klavier started during Turnabout Succession, and I very much think Klavier knew that Kristoph was a piece of shit because of it. However, I don't really think he would've expected anything that came out during Turnabout Succession, which is why he reacts how he does. I also think it would be safe to assume that either Kristoph only started emotionally abusing Klavier after Zak's trial or Klavier realized that's what he was doing after Zak's trial, due to Klavier's attitude toward Kristoph holding the implication that if Kristoph was actively being abusive at that point in time, Klavier didn't realize it)

Part 3: What We Can Conclude About Klavier Based On This Information

I've mentioned it before (in fact it's in the Klavier breakdown animation analysis I linked earlier in the post), but Klavier's behavior comes off as him not having been able to properly grow up, whether because he became a celebrity when he was 17 or for some other reason. It's like he regresses back to 17 during traumatic situations, or possibly has some sort of relapse if we assume he got mental health treatment between the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession and the start of Turnabout Corner, and his behavior supports that, which is fucking heartbreaking. It's like he's putting on a mask of maturity because he was forced to. By who? Could be anyone. He could've felt obligated to do it by his status as an international celebrity. He could've been pressured into it by the Gavinners' record label (assuming they weren't indie). Kristoph could've pressured him into it because Klavier had eyes on his every action on a global scale. He could've experienced some kind of psychological trauma that caused it. There are so many potential explanations here and they're all fucking heartbreaking.

Part 4: Conclusion

So. 3.3k words later. This is longer than my Ryulock/Homumiko essay. Anyway, conclusion: I don't think Klavier's ever been flanderized. I think people are misreading his primary trauma response (that being, some form of regression or relapse). He's not even the only person this happens to in the series (*stares at Athena*), it's just not obvious with Klavier if you don't consider ALL his behavior together, including his behavior when he's 17 because that's really what explains his behavior in my opinion. Klavier's behavior isn't easily explainable in a nearly 3.5k word essay without knowing how he was at 17.

And yes, you could argue that this is all coincidence. You could argue that none of this was intentional, especially when you consider how Ace Attorney is written. Someone who goes into Dual Destinies without playing Apollo Justice first won't get the additional context required to recognize the full extent of Klavier's behavior.

I would beg to differ however. Some of Phoenix's bitchiness from Apollo Justice is still present in Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice, and I very much think that was intentional. Apollo's behavior in 5-4 and 5-5 are very much indicative of him having trust issues as a result of everything that happened with Kristoph and that's a hill I'll die on. Simon still acts the same as he did in prison, likely as a result of either trauma, habit, or both.

If you think Ace Attorney doesn't reference past games in characters' behavior, you're underestimating Ace Attorney's writing. I absolutely think Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Academy and his behavior in Turnabout Serenade are meant to be reflective of each other. I'd be genuinely surprised if that's not an intentional parallel and if it doesn't indicate something about Klavier's response to traumatic events. Even worse, I am quite sure that Kristoph has put him down over this. Hell, you could argue that his comment about Klavier being stressed to the point of uselessness is him putting Klavier down for how he copes with trauma. It explains why he was so quiet while Kristoph was on the witness stand, actually.

I also don't think Klavier's as egocentric and quite as much of a perfectionist as he lets on. I think it's part of what I referred to earlier as Klavier relapsing. I very much think he might've been like that at 17, but much like his other behavior at 17 it feels like he grew out of it, and he has a tendency to fall back into it during traumatic situations, whether it's as a defense mechanism or just how his brain responds to trauma.

Essentially this causes traumatic situations for Klavier to turn into him bottling everything up, which comes across to other people (including anyone who decides to play Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies) as irritability. This happens to me too; I'm prone to emotional overreaction but I've gotten to a point where I tend to bottle it up instead of doing literally anything else.

Capcom, please for the love of the Holy Mother give Klavier therapy.

[loveandleases]

🌶️ sneak peek for next week.

[mintaikk]

Artistic rendition of the time my sister accidently logged onto my ao3 account and saw the 2k+ worded monster-lover yaoi I wrote

(Art inspired by izbyzz on pinterest)