#i watched this show like 5 years ago and didn't care about it what happened
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leenfiend · 2 years ago
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tfw i thought this was gonna be a short lived obsession but now my whole blog is klance 
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mako-island-moon-pool · 1 year ago
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I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me
How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????
#I fucking hate this it keeps fucking happening#I have a fucking LIST of all the times it's happened this is not a one time thing it's fucking reoccurring#Nothing I say will ever fucking matter to anyone not even the people who are 'supposed' to care about me#Grumble grumble#Literally showed my dad a song and he was like 'well I preferred the one that came on autoplay after'#And I was like 'oh that song? Oh you mean THAT song? OH YOU MEAN THE SONG I SHOWED YOU MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED?'#THAT ONE? YEAH? YEAH???#Gee I wonder why you like it NOW and not when *I* showed it to you!#UGHHHHH#Begged my friend to get into OP and he would go 'no it's too long and the art style is kinda ugly'#GUESS WHO'S NOW ASKING ME TO GUIDE HIM THRU THE ANIME CUZ OP WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER OVER THE SUMMER#UGHHHHHHHHH#Begged friends to watch Trig/un for years it was always the first anime I'd recommend anyone when they asked and was always ignored#Guess what everyone did once stampede started *trending on Tumblr*?#They certainly didn't care when I asked or when I was hyping up the trailer for stampede or literally any point before then#Nobody would ever reply to me when I talked about it#But now that it's trending on Tumblr NOW they're interested. GJSGDHDJDJDK#Happened with Pe/rso/na and Ro/tm/nt too.#Begged my middle and high school friends to get into the per/sona series. Nooo never it's sooo lame#Get made fun of for being hyped for 5's release in Calc class#Man you'd never believe who I see on Twitter as the biggest fans nowadays!!#Same with ro/tm/nt begged my friends to watch it but was dismissed and the episode I showed them heavily criticized bc it wasn't 2012#Then learn the same friend who criticized it so heavily bc he *hated it* WAS WATCHING VIDEO ESSAYS EXPLAINING WHY THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD#And there's NEVER any acknowledgement like 'hey sorry I made fun of/hated on this thing I see why you like it now'#Am I actually mental?! Would that not be the polite thing to do???#I would do that if a friend begged me to watch something and I openly dismissed them or criticized it as my reason why#And then later on I saw something online and was like 'actually...'#I would GO TO THAT FRIEND AND BE LIKE 'hey sorry I dismissed you earlier man I get why you like it now' AND THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT#This isn't even about like distant acquaintences some of these people are my best friends and my roommates and my own fucking parents#People I talk to daily or near-daily. You're just not going to acknowledge what happened before??? Just expecting me to be fine with it????
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theyrealllesbians · 11 months ago
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Regulus was manically pacing around his room, playing with the cord at the base of the phone.
"What do you mean there's another one?" He asked in an exasperated tone, rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and fight the annoyed headache he could feel brewing.
"Another wedding invitation has just come for you, from Emmaline Vance? Wait was she the one who was obsessed with Peter and would try to dance with him at every party for like a year?" Sirius said, getting progressively louder and more excited as he carried on.
"Yes." Regulus bit out. He really could not be bothered to go to another wedding. Why did everyone want to get married all of a sudden, it's only been a couple, wait no 7 years, since he left high school. God, how had it been 7 years already? "Surely I don't have to go. I can just RSVP back saying 'thanks, but no thanks' that'll work right?"
Regulus didn't even really understand why he was getting so many invitations. He'd had 5 wedding invites so far, 2 baby showers which he was not going to and 2 reunion dinners. Of course his own brother's wedding invitation was not included in this list of grievances. He's never dare complain about having to watch the happiest day of Sirius's life. Even just hearing him and Remus try and sort out the last few details made his heart warm in a way that he would never dare admit to.
"Come on, you have to!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everyone will want to see you. Besides all of us," 'us' being Sirius, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas, "are going and I refuse to spend another evening answering a million questions about you when you could just get over yourself and come!!!!"
Sirius was referring to the last high school reunion that happened 2 years ago that he had refused to go to. Apparently, Sirius spent the whole night getting asked about Regulus's whereabouts and what he was doing, if it was true that he had refused to work in the family business, whether he was gay and if so, was he single?
"Ugh," he groaned, "if I do go, and that's an if! I'll need a date. Where am I supposed to get a date on such short notice." Regulus's head was now beginning to ache as it had threatened to do so at the thought of having to sit through a wedding with someone he barely knew just to show that he wasn't alone and that he was doing well for himself.
"I don't know, do I? I mean you don't have to have a date." Sirius suggested, speaking through a mouth of some form of food.
"I do though don't I, otherwise I'll just get pitying looks the entire night. Or worse, people coming up to me trying to ask me out." He shivered at the thought.
Sirius choked a little, "That's a bit cocky don't you think?"
"No I don't think it is actually, not after I had Gideon touching my knee last month asking if I'd 'be interested in a night to remember', I cannot do that again. I just can't," he whined. He may as well have stomped his feet to go along with the toddler type tantrum he was getting close to. But Regulus did not care, he was being entirely serious when he said he could not do it again.
"Fine then, go with Barty?" Sirius suggested.
"Can't he's already going with Evan." Regulus responded, damning them both because it wouldn't be a half bad idea.
"Act as if you're in a throuple, you could pull it off." Sirius teased.
"Sirius" Regulus whined again, he needed real solutions.
"Pandora?"
"Doesn't really work now that everyone knows I'm gay." Regulus was getting tired now, why did he call his brother again? Oh right he didn't, Sirius called him because Regulus is currently on a work trip and Sirius is watering his plants and clearly snooping through his post.
"Well, I don't have any other ideas. This is why you need more friends." Sirius said matter of factly.
"To have as back up wedding guests?"
"Yes, that's what we do all the time. I don't actually think that anyone really knows who is with who. Oh, you could go with James. I don't think he was planning to go with anyone."
"Yeah, pass." He would not go with James Potter. Not for any particular reason, he just couldn't.
"Right well, I can't help you"
"Apparently so. I'm gonna go" Regulus just needed to lie down and think about what he was gonna do. He still had a month to figure it all out.
"Alright, see you soon, call me if you need anything else." Sirius said, trying to maintain his 'helpful' older brother personality that he had built.
"Yep will do, bye." Regulus hung up.
He really hated wedding season.
Just had this idea, it will be Jegulus. Kinda fake dating/ friends to lovers type deal. I'm actually pretty excited to start writing it and have quite a few ideas already.
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nikkirando · 9 months ago
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I have an oc that has had a brush with death by tornado. Tyler was there and got her on his team, since her team died in said storm. What if they got separated during a tornado and Tyler has been worried about finding her because he cares for her and sees her as a good luck charm. I was thinking she would be someone in the rubble trying to help people despite being injured. Can you please write this no one else will?
One Last Dance
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Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader
summery; Pretty much the request
Warning: Blood, Language, Use of Y/N, Backstory of the reader (you), trauma, some mention of death, Let me know if I missed anything, and this is my first twister fic so it might suck,
5 years ago on this day...the day I wish I could forget but it's stuck in my mind forever. Every night and day ever since then. I sighed as I looked at the picture before setting the picture on the dresser and leaning back on the bed of the rundown hotel. As you slowly doze off, you hear it all over again.
"Come on Y/N! Don't be boring it will be fun!" Addy said with a smile "Ya come on," said Kate you sighed "Fine but only this once!" you said as the group cheered and you laughed "Well better start going? don't wanna miss a beauty" Said Javi as everyone got in their cars to go look for the big tornado.
You hear the door to your and Tyler's hotel room open. Your eyes quickly opened and look at the door and there he stood your famous cowboy. You smiled at him "Hey sweetheart did I wake ya?" he asked "No u didn't" you said. He takes off his hat and sets it on the chair before walking over to you and giving you a small peck on your lips "Ok but get sleep me you and the gang are gonna go to town tomorrow," he said as you whined "But-" "No buts" he cuts you off "I'm going to show then I'll join you," he said before kissing you again "Fine" you pout before watching him walk off to the bathroom.
You limp while holding your arm as you sob and look around you. Everything was destroyed all around you. You wrap your arm gently around Kate as she is limping with a big gash on your leg. "K-Kate...?" You said but no response. As you guys kept walking on the road limping, you heard sirens in the silence between you two. You look ahead and there they were.
Your alarm clock starts going off as you groan and sit up and look at your boyfriend who is already changed and ready to go. "Good morning sunshine~!" he yelled happily "You ready to come into town ?" He asked but something felt off telling you not to go and not the group to go and you should have trusted your gut "Sure!" you said before standing up "Gonna get changed first" you said as your boyfriend nodded "I'll be by the truck!" he said before walking out.
As you get dressed you walk out and walk to the truck. "There she is!" yelled Boone as he got in and you chuckled and got in as well as everyone else. The drive to town was short while Boone kept talking the most and making the dumbest jokes you find yourself laughing at. As Tyler parked it started to sprinkle a little then slowly turned more heavy as you looked up at the sky while getting out. It was like Deja Vu.
The more you guys were out the more heavy the rain and wind got. I looked up at the cloudy sky as my stomach started to twist around making me feel nauseous I looked at Tyler he also had a slight discomfort on his face like we were thinking the same thing. I grabbed his hand as we kept checking out the shops but my gut still told me to get out of there I was trying to push that feeling away...until the tornado warning happened on our phones.
Everyone around checked their phones before starting to freak out and rush to get somewhere to safety as everyone was pushing everyone acting like it was every man for themselves. Well, It kinda was. Tyler grabs your hand quickly as he pulls u away to another building "Stay here!" Tyler yelled at u as he started helping people into the same building. "Tyler hurry!" you yelled as he ran back and shut the door. "This place isn't gonna hold!" one of the stranger yells as he starts to freak out "We are gonna be ok!" Tyler says as he looks at everyone "Grab onto something!" he says as everyone follows what he says.
Just then the roof started to break in as everyone screamed and covered themselves as the roof kept breaking in. Just then the roof collapsed as everyone ran to find a new place to hide before almost (and some) getting sucked up by the tornado "Tyler!?" you yelled still grabbing onto a pole but no response "Tyler?!" you sobbed as you grab on tighter to the pole.
"Praveen!!" You yelled as he got sucked up as you, Jeb, Abby, and Kate kept running as you were sobbing. Something metal hit your arm cutting it deeply as you tripped and fell into a ditch where you curled up into a ball sobbing. In the distance, you heard screaming and wind. Slowly start to calm down after what feels like forever as you slowly peek out and look around at the destruction.
"Tyler!" you sobbed as you didn't see him. Slowly but surely the winds calmed down as well as the tornado. You let go of the pole slowly you look at your hands as they are shakey as you stand up slowly. "Tyler..?" you said hopefully but no response or sign. "Where...where did you go..?" you sobbed as you walked out and looked at the mess of the town and everyone was coming out of the building. "Y/N you ok!" yelled Lily as she ran to you and hugged you tightly you slowly nodded at her "Let me go get you some water," she said before running off quickly.
You sobbed more as there was no sign of Tyler 'W-What if he's dead' you thought to yourself freaking out as you kept looking and walking around "Ty" you said before starting to run around town "T-Tyler!" you yelled for him but no answer. "Omg..no...please no," you said sobbing and covering your mouth. it wasn't until someone wrapped their arms around your waist "Sweetheart what wrong ya hurt?" he said maybe you spin on your heel to see that cocky smile of Tyler. You sigh and hugged him you were happy before turning angry "You asshole! I thought you were dead!" you said hitting his chest multiple times.
"Woah woah calm down I'm still here," He said pulling you for another hug as you started to sob again and hug him tightly "I was scared you died.." you said "I'm sorry sweetheart," he said and he rubbed your back gently as to comfort you. As you start to calm down he says "Come on let's take you to the truck ok? You can relax in there and where I know you will be safe" he kisses you gently and you kiss back and walk with him to his truck.
I hope it's good! Lmkkkk please with is my first Tyler Owens fic hehehe @multifandomgirl12
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strawberryshortcake0413 · 7 months ago
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Last Hope chapter 4
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Hello everyone :D i have finally decided to upload a chapter i postponed for weeks. Hope yall enjoy it, lmk your thoughts and reactions
Characters:yandere Leon S Kennedy (older version) x reader
Disclaimer: This fanfic contains dark-themed topics, such as kidnapping, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-consent, unwanted pregnancy,etc
Warning: yandere Leon Kennedy, kidnapping, non-consent, depressed reader, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, unwanted pregnancy, emotional & mental abuse
Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3
God. 
You were crazy. You were confused and blind. You didn't know whether it was love or hate. 
Hating your kidnapper seems to be the logical explanation most people would come up with. But again, most of those people had not been kidnapped, nor was Leon S Kennedy the one who did it. 
A few days ago, you had played with his nerves more than ever.
You took a small knife from the kitchen when he allowed you to watch him cook. Trying to be sneaky was harder than it sounds. 
You have been his good girl for a whole month, yet trying to steal a knife to kill him. 
Little did you know, Leon had already noticed your little trick, sneakily putting it in your sleeve while you kissed him.
He was happy that you were showing affection without any fuss at first. But when he saw your true intentions, he was furious. 
That same night you tried to stab him when he was sleeping. Or pretending to be asleep, waiting for the right moment to give you what you were itching for.
To say the least, you got your punishment.
Even though you got him mad a couple times during the months you lived in the isolated house, it was never this bad. It never went as far as Leon refusing to acknowledge you or tamper you like his usual self. 
Humans are social creatures. Communication was the key to survival starting from the ice age to the modern world. People need love, someone to laugh and talk to. Without these, life was darker than the pitch of hell. This what you felt like was happening to you. Leon was the only being you talked, communicated, snuggled in for a long time. 
Now he was trying his hardest ignoring and giving you silent treatment. Thinking more about this situation, it was half funny, half painful. 
If you start from the funny part, he was childish. The one who made sure to comment about how stable and mature for a family was now acting like a spoiled, mad 5 year old. 
At the same time, you realized you were truly alone. Here, in this prison of a house, you at least had someone to give a shit about you at least a bit, even if it was toxic. But thinking about your past life, you had nobody for you.
Hell, if you made a bet with a stranger your mom would stab you from the back if she wanted to have your boyfriend in her bed, it was not a lie you would lose a few bucks. 
You are alone in this miserable life with no one except a mentally ill old man. You were sure he had an addiction problem before by the looks of his face. It's easy to tell when you grew up with one. And worked to help those people, sacrificing everything that had the curse to be yours. 
Guilt was filling the room, almost drowning you till you can’t breathe. Even if he was shit, he still cared for you. Were you this pathetic to try to crawl back in the arms of someone you attempted to murder? Yes, you were. But who cares? Who cares as long as he forgives you? You are just going to pretend everything is fine till everything is not and the cycle starts all over.
You felt even shittier when the memory of you holding the knife and sitting on his lap when he was asleep, ready to slice his throat. If your childhood self saw you like that, she would think you’re a monster. 
But in the end, you were one. That’s why you have no one good enough that is willingly to stay with you. 
You had willingly pushed away someone that actually cared for you without even thinking. How stupid are you to try to do that? You cared and craved the attention that came with him. You were just not used to love that you immediately persuaded it as poison.
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He locked you in the same room with no food and water for 3 days. No matter how much you pleaded, he wouldn't budge in. 
“Leon… Daddy… Please…” you begged again. You had already lost count of your whining and were begging for him to let you out. 
“I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please?” 
Leon signed hearing your whining repeatedly in the morning before he even had his first cup of coffee. Work was already harder these past few days, your whining made it even more irritating. 
Hell. He should even add a little bit of vodka in his coffee since destiny decided to play with him again. 
Leon had already decided the love of his life bumped into him at the hospital, but he was starting to realize it was an illusion his heart made to bear with the pain of real life struggles.
Leon was starting to see the truth that you will never be someone he wanted. All he ever dreamed of was the perfect american dream where he had a beautiful wife and a few kids running around his house. If the Raccoon city event never happened, he wouldn’t even have looked your way. 
You were rude, wild, inconsiderate, and lacked motherly instincts. Leon was not even sure if you thought like a normal person. He was not blind to your personality. When he was carefully selecting you as his future wife and the mother of his kids, he noticed quite a lot of details. 
The way you responded to children crying, someone immature, or confused people asking for help or getting unlucky in life, he took notes of how you stare at them and how you respond with your body language.
He knew you were not a good person. He knew you wouldn’t be a good, caring mother. 
Despite the fact he refused to acknowledge your real self, he had hoped someday you will grow to love him and want to have children of your own. Little did he know, he felt angry at himself for giving you too much hope. 
In his own delusion, Leon thought you completely had given up the thought to escape and run away. Never in a million years, he would have imagined you holding a knife and almost killing him. 
Now, he didn’t even know if you were the right choice to go with for the rest of his life. 
But listening to your pleas, apologizing, and regrets pulled a string in his heart he hadn’t acknowledged since he was twenty something. 
Maybe you realized you were nothing without him. You didn’t have the basic needs of a human if he didn’t bother to notice you. You should be grateful. You should be grateful he takes care of you better than he takes care of himself. You should be grateful he chose to save you from your miserable little life before him.
But hearing your cries changed his already made up mind. It was something he would only do for you. Something he hoped that would change your mind about starting a family. 
Leon stared down at you with a cold glare as you whined pathetically before crawling and hugging his legs as you sobbed like you’re at your father's funeral. 
As much as he loves his parents, only one memory is engraved on his mind from his childhood. He remembers that day, clearer than water. Holding a bare white rose while people stared at the big hole in the ground as his parents were put to peaceful sleep forever without anyone interrupting them again. 
Standing there alone and confused why his parents would never come back. What did his parents do to be killed like that? Still to this day, Leon doesn’t have any idea why his parents were targeted out of all the people in the world.
His main goal is to never let any of his children go through that pain. Not in a single day he had a moment of lasting peace. Why would he not deserve a little dose of happiness others knew the taste more than once? 
You were his last hope. Last hope for a new beginning. To something he can’t have again.
“I’m sorry. Please. Daddy. I love you. Please, forgive me” you cried, sniffing your runny nose while kissing his legs. As much as you would have loved to make comments about his hairy long legs, you were not in the right position to be sarcastic.
“If you try to pull that shit again, your “daddy, i love you” is not going to work again.” he muttered before grabbing your wrists, pulling you up.
“See what happens when you disobey me?” Leon eyed your tired figure from the lack of food, shower and him.  
“I won’t do it again. I promise.” you muttered, hugging him hesitantly. It was a strange feeling for you. Even before you were forced to show affection, you never felt genuine enough to hug a person before. Sometimes rare visitors would hug you, it only gave you ick.
Something about it made me want to cry, while something else was making you angry at Leon. Where did his promise of taking care of you no matter what went when he was mad? Were you just a little toy for him to abandon when life gives him something sour? Is he someone that would abandon you at your lowest just like everyone else?
Walking into the kitchen you were greeted with a vegetable soup with a slice of bread, poured in the plastic bowl he bought for you specifically. 
“Eat well.” Leon muttered as he sat next, watching you devour the food. 
“Slower. It's not good for the body”
After a few minutes of eating, he brought you into the bedroom, showering you carefully before helping you put on a fresh set of pajamas.
“Sleep” Leon muttered as he laid beside, kissing your temple. 
Warm, soft blanket made you feel like a newborn being swaddled in its mothers tight embrace. After spending 3 nights on the cold flooring of the house, the bed felt like heaven.
Not to mention the fact, after a while Leon would occasionally rub your clit through your pants or give your nipple a hard pinch enough to awaken something in your belly.
As much as he missed you, Leon quickly learned you were even worse than him somehow. The way you begged for another round at 2 am at night proved everything he needed to know. 
“My baby missed me so much. Huh?” the older man smirked, feeling you clench as his pace increased. Your hands went back to the bed sheets while you babbled nonsense.  
“You see how much I love you?” Leon muttered as he stared at your dilated eyes.
As you nodded, he felt a satisfaction he hadn’t experienced in a while. Soon he felt himself finish inside you. 
“Promise me. Promise me that you would love me forever” 
You took a long shaky breath, brain foggy from the your body was being warmed by his warm cum. 
“I will… I will as long as you do” you said as Leon captured your lips in a passionate long kiss. Spit connecting you two still as he pulled away. “Sweet dreams baby”
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Next chapter start: Leon grinned to himself as he started connecting all the clues God left for him. Your moody, bratty behavior, sweet cravings, morning sickness. He was trying to tell Leon his dreams are coming soon. 
Now that he knew you were with a healthy child, he was never going to let you go. If he had to fight for the sake of his child, he wouldn’t hesitate even if it’s you. After all, a child was more important than your temporary stupidity. 
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thinking about little kid me watching 11 regenerate and how he then refused to watch any Doctor Who that wasn't 11 afterwards, and then the interested started fading out over like 5 years. and then 2 years ago, something shitty happened to me and I was like "wow. maybe I should get back into Doctor Who" and it was perfect timing cuz they were gonna release the specials in a week! and then I watched The Giggle and I saw Ncuti Gatwa as 15 and instantly felt that spark of oh that's the Doctor. that's my Doctor again.
Ncuti literally brought me back to my CHILDHOOD FAVOURITE show in no time at all and he just LEFT in a SHITTY HALF ASSED FINALE with no care or concern given to his untied arcs and storylines.
I can remember how I physically didn't sleep AT ALL after Rogue came out, because I was so excited for what this meant for Doctor Who! I remember my own countdown until s2/s15 aired, and I can remember how hyped I was during RR because of the new style of shots they were doing, the cool animation in Lux, the fantastic character development in The Well, and how watching TS&TE turned it into one of my favourite nuwho episodes ever. I was so excited for what this season meant for 15 as a character, and I was even excited for what Wish World meant in terms of his character. when that promo photo of 15 and Bels at the club hit my social media, I had faith that it'd been a reclamation of the queerness he had to repress in Wish World. that he'd get to be himself, and the beginning of The Reality War even made me have faith in it when he took off the blazer and it turned into a kilt. and then I watched the rest of it, and this might be dramatic, but that GENUINELY felt like a stab in the back.
they turned the Doctor who was a big breath of fresh air for the show, with a brand new energy we hadn't seen before, and had potential for a serious exploration of the Doctor's trauma and repressed tendencies from the Time Lord Victorious days, and they made him go between two nostalgia bait castings. the first Black Doctor (not counting Fugitive considering she didn't have her own run) and they put him between two of RTD's favourite white callbacks. I wasn't too pissed with the bi-generation stuff, and putting Ncuti after David, because I had faith that they'd just sort of acknowledge that he's just a way for 15 to cope with his trauma (it doesn't work but that's for a different post). but to put Billie in a surprise regeneration in an episode that overall slaughtered so many good characters? to give him such a rushed regeneration?? to never give him a Dalek story, or even a Cyberman story??
the ONE DECENT THING I hope comes out of all of this is that Ncuti Gatwa knows that his time as the Doctor was most definitely not wasted. the amount of people who are clearly upset about this, for countless reasons, and I know there are so many people who have expressed gratitude for him getting them back in the show. (shoutout to the Timerogue server that literally gave him a scrapbook all about how much they love his era.) i'm not Black, but I have never felt so seen by a Doctor's era since I watched Matt's run as a little kid, and now here I am with Ncuti's run. I will continue watching the show, this isn't enough to make me quit it altogether - but honestly I don't think I'd blame anyone if they did. especially if RTD stays on as showrunner.
honestly we can only hope BF picks up 15's run, and Ncuti agrees to come back for audiodramas, because, that wasn't enough time at all.
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fleckficgirl · 11 months ago
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Heartthrob | Arthur Fleck x reader 💗 CHAPTER 12
Summary: Attempting to conceal her checkered past, a young dancer in Gotham (Y/N) lands a job at Ha-Ha’s and finds herself increasingly drawn to a shy, lonely clown named Arthur Fleck.
Warnings: sex, age gap, language, violence, mental illness, assault
Word Count: 2093
Chapter List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Arthur's Note (see what I did there?): Thanks every so so much for the kind words and encouragement. I didn't realize the new trailer was coming out today but I started writing this fic again about a week ago and I think I'm on a roll! I <3 Arthur Fleck so much and hope you enjoy!
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Arthur had insisted on walking you home, had kissed you again at the front door of your apartment building and promised to call you the next morning; you both had the next day off and planned to see each other.
When he pressed his body into you. You could feel he was hard, but restraining himself. Arthur was nothing if not a gentleman. It only made you love him more.
“I'll call you in the morning,” he hummed into your ear.
“First thing in the morning,” you corrected him with a sly grin.
Arthur smiled, blushing. “First thing in the morning.”
You hated to pull yourself away from him. It was crazy: You'd never cared that much about sex, but for the first time in your life, you understood what it felt like to want to ask someone upstairs, what it felt like to actually want someone to spend the night in your bed. But of course, you had your parents to think about and they'd never go for it in a million years.
Arthur watched you get into the elevator. When the doors closed, you felt like you might cry. Reminding yourself you were gonna see him again in twelve hours was the only thing that put your longing heart at ease.
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It was almost midnight, and your parents usually went to bed around ten, so you were surprised to find them both sitting up on the sofa in the living room, watching what had to be the last half hour of The Murray Franklin Show. They never watched Murray. They never even stayed up this late.
“What’s going on?” you asked as you locked the front door and hung your coat up.
“We’ve been worried sick!” your mother cried as your dad muted the television.
Oh boy. This was already off to a great start.
“Why?” you asked, cocking your head to one side. “I mean, I know it’s almost midnight, but-”
“There’s been another killing on the subways,” she continued. “They think it’s related to what happened to those three Wayne boys a few days ago.”
“You’re kidding,” you sat down on the sofa to face them. “Who’d they kill?”
“A man,” your father answered. “But they don’t know anything else yet. You were out all night and didn’t hear anything about this?”
You shook your head. “No. But it’s getting crazier out there.”
“What exactly did you do tonight?” your father raised an eyebrow.
“Met up with friends,” you answered breezily. Technically you weren’t lying. Arthur was a friend. Sort of.
“That’s interesting,” he continued, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Because those so-called girlfriends of yours called here looking for you. Two different times in fact.”
“They did?”
You gulped, trying to scan your mother's face for some kind of hint to help you navigate the choppy waters of your father’s suspicions. But her “worried sick” face had morphed into her “I’m just gonna stay out of it and keep the peace” face.
Typically a bad sign.
“First Tina and then that other girl…” your father said. “The one with the silly name…”
He looked to your mother who shrugged in response.
“Chantelle,” he finally remembered. And Chantelle said she was calling to find out how your ‘hot date’ went tonight.”
Damn that Chantelle. You knew she had a champagne-and-dial addiction - it was why she was still hooking up with at least five of her ex-boyfriends - but you could still murder her ten times with a hatchet. She had no idea how crazy your dad was.
“I told your father it must have been some kind of practical joke,” your mother finally interjected. “You know, those telephone pranks kids these days like to play on one another?”
You could see she was trying to help you out. And for one crazy second, you considered telling them the truth:
Mom, Dad…I’m in love with a beautiful clown.
No, that wouldn’t go over well at all. They’d hit the roof. In fact, they'd go through the roof.
The less you said about Arthur the better. At least for the time being.
“I did go out with friends,” you explained in as even a tone as you could muster. “I don’t know what Chantelle’s talking about.”
“Which friends?” your mother asked.
“Just some friends…from…from…” you struggled to complete the sentence. You never went anywhere besides work these days, so where the hell would you meet any other friends?
“Some friends from GU?” your mother asked hopefully.
It was perfect. You could have kissed her right then and there. Saved by the mama.
“Yes!” you nodded. “Yes, some friends from college.”
“Honey, that's wonderful!” your mother smiled.
Your father nodded approvingly. “Those are the kinds of people you should be spending time with. People who are serious about their future…as opposed to a couple of strippers.”
“They’re not strippers, Dad!”
He smiled at his own dumb joke and you pursed your lips. Your father never approved of anyone if he didn’t deem them “serious about their future.” The problem was, most of the kids you’d met at Gotham University were entitled assholes from rich families who didn’t actually care about their futures: no matter how badly they fucked up, their privileged parents could afford to yank them out of hot water and they knew it. Your dad had it all wrong. But you didn’t have the heart to correct him.
“How come you look so disheveled?” your father’s voice broke into your thoughts once more.
You blinked. “Excuse me?”
He pointed at your rumpled clothes.
“Your outfit’s wrinkled, your hair’s a mess. And your makeup…”
“Did something happen tonight, honey?” your mother asked. You could sense the growing concern in both their voices, and it brought you right back to when you’d started having problems at GU. Your poor parents had to watch as their star student daughter - who’d never given them a lick of trouble - suddenly turned into someone they didn’t recognize. Someone they were afraid of.
“Sweetheart,” your mother prodded gently. “You didn’t happen to get into a…a fight or an altercation with anyone tonight, did you?”
You shook your head and laughed, trying your best to put them at ease. “Not that I can remember.”
It was a true enough answer. More true than they needed to know, anyway.
“You can tell us if you’re…struggling,” your father added. “We want to know if something’s going on.”
You shook your head again. “What happened was, the subway was totally jam packed. Maybe it had to do with the killing tonight, I dunno. Anyway, we were stuffed like sardines. I got all pushed around on the train. You know how the people in this city can be.”
“Fucking animals,” he muttered under his breath. You glanced up at the TV where a still-muted Murray seemed to be delivering his closing words. “You’re alright though, aren’t you?”
“Of course,” you assured them both. “Nothing a shower and some shampoo can’t fix.”
You breathed a concealed sigh of relief as you watched your parents breathe one of their own.
You popped up from the sofa and stretched.
“Gonna get ready for bed,” you announced. “See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, sweetie,” your mom called out. “We love you.”
“Love you, too.”
You turned to go to your room and heard your dad unmute the TV, Murray Franklin’s voice ringing out over the orchestra as an organ struck up the groovy chords from his signature closing song:
“Goodnight, and always remember: That’s life!”
You laughed softly to yourself. “That’s life!” you whispered as you dance-glided down the hall and into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.
Life really was something, wasn’t it? Especially life in Gotham, a life like yours: one that now had a beautiful man named Arthur Fleck in it.
After the crazy night you’d had, the shower felt like a balm to your soul. You crawled under the cool covers of your bed, still giddy from your date with Arthur and the promise of seeing him tomorrow. As you drifted off to dreamland, you thought about even though your parents drove you up the wall, you loved them and would do anything for them. You hated the toll your problems at GU had had on them - how scared and defenseless they’d been, not knowing how to help you when the shit hit the fan. They didn’t have the resources and privileges of your ex-classmates’ parents, but they’d stood behind you when no one else had. You’d never forget that.
After the nightmare at Gotham U - after everything it’d put you and the people you loved through - you’d vowed to yourself that you’d never be powerless again.
Although you felt powerless to stop the freight train of emotions you felt for Arthur, you decided he was a worthy exception. Arthur also knew what powerlessness felt like. He wasn't like the rest of them. He was the salt of the earth, just like your parents. Just like you.
And as long as you and Arthur had each other’s backs, you told yourself as sleep enveloped your being, nothing could ever take either of your power away again.
Together, you were unstoppable.
***
The phone rang first thing in the morning, just as Arthur promised. Thank GOD your bedroom had its own phone line.
“Hey you!” you answered playfully on the first ring.
“There you are. We’ve been calling you, bitch!”
“Chantelle?” you paused, your breath hitching.
“And Tina’s here,” Chantelle said. “We’re at Ha-Ha’s. You didn’t call either of us back last night so we decided to ambush you first thing in the morning.”
��Oh yeah,” you shook your head. “And by the way, thanks a lot for telling my dad about my ‘hot date’ last night. He was real happy to confront me about that when I got home.”
“So you did come home last night!” Chantelle gasped.
“I told you a million times!” Tina’s annoyed voice rang out in the background. “She wasn’t gonna have sex with him on the first date.”
“So how was it?” Chantelle asked. “Tell us everything!”
“It was…great,” you answered. “He’s…wonderful.”
Chantelle squealed. “Y/N’s going out with a college boy!” She sang.
“Let’s not blow this out of proportion,” Tina countered. “College boys are a dime a dozen. And most of ‘em wouldn’t know how to please a woman even if they majored in it. Gimme the phone, Chantelle.”
You heard the receiver scuffle on their end and Tina’s no-nonsense voice rang in your ear.
“How was the outfit, hair and makeup?” she demanded. “Any mishaps?”
You paused. It would take too long to explain the whole blacking out thing to them, you reasoned. And you didn’t want them to worry.
“Everything went fine,” you said. “You guys did a great job. I can’t thank you enough.”
“I have some very exciting ideas for the next date outfit,” Tina said. “When are you getting here? I’ll fill you in. We’ll try on some samples.”
“I’m off today!” you sang into the phone. “And I’m actually seeing him again this afternoon.”
“What? You slut!”
Chantelle grabbed the phone back. “You’re seeing him again? So soon? Oh my goodness, Y/N, I feel like you’re gonna marry this guy.”
You heard Tina groan in disgust behind Chantelle before snatching the phone back again.
“Then my outfit ideas will have to wait for your third date,” Tina said. “Assuming there is one. What were you planning on wearing today?”
“I dunno,” you glanced around your messy room helplessly. “I haven’t even thought about it.”
“Okay, listen to me, Y/N. You’re an autumn. That means warm skin tones. Understand?”
“Warm skin tones,” you repeated back, even though you had no idea what the hell she was talking about.
“I’m talking greens, I’m talking yellows…come to think of it: do you have anything in peach?”
You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”
“Black is fine. Accessorize with those gold hoop earrings. A full face of makeup just like we showed you. But go easy on the blusher, for the love of God.”
“Thanks, Tina.” You laughed.
“Shit. Hoyt’s coming,” Tina warned. “Call us immediately after today’s date ends. We need a detailed play by play so we can mastermind the plan for date number three.”
“I thought you said these college boys were a dime a dozen,” you countered.
“Mastermind your outfit for date number three,” Tina corrected herself. ��If you’re gonna date a college douche, the least you can walk away with is a killer wardrobe.”
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mrnightingale · 5 months ago
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When I watch supernatural I'll be so insufferable... Like, most of my Pinterest feed is Tumblr screenshots. Superwholock screenshots of, like, 2015 posts. That's why I have Tumblr. So I can reblog posts from 10 years ago.
And I can't help but think that's the whole story of my life over and over again. When I was a child I used to read a lot. I read classic literature, when everyone else read Harry Potter. I liked classical music when people on the radio were playing old raggaeton and hip-hop rap. And now I listen to Hamilton and think "this is so cool" and it's 10 years old, people don't play that music anymore, and I watch Sherlock and it's 15 years old, and I think what the fuck I was doing back then and it's read Sherlock Holmes novels. I used to think a lot about adolescence and think I was going to listen rock rebel music and dress cool but I'm still old-fashioned and my music taste sucks sm I feel ashamed when I say "someone play music" bc no one wants to hear music half a century old. Nor one full century old.
And the thing is, I'm always too late. For everything. I used to think I was going to work as an artist and draw illustrations and all of that, but I'm not so sure anymore, bc in the last few years all the technology changed a lot and I know I won't be replaced by ai, but do I even know that? Is hope even an option anymore? I'd like to be an actor but I've never been a theatre child, it wasn't even an option to me, and the industry is dying. If we can't even save a wonderful show like dbda and make all these people keep their jobs now, what the hell would it be in 5 years? If people at Netflix already don't care anymore about Art but viewership numbers and money, what would happen in 5 years? I know the world won't end tomorrow. It never does. But sometimes I think the world ended a lot ago and I didn't noticed, I was too late.
I want to do something worthy with my life. I don't want to see Art die. But I don't know what to do, there isn't a clear path anymore. I was prepared for a future in a world that died 5 years ago, and I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be in the room where it happens. But I think that room disappeared 5 years ago. And I'll always be too late.
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waveridden · 2 months ago
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i would like to hear the more thoughts actually
slam dunking these under a cut because major spoilers for the new episode (also cw for discussion of alcoholism and suicide)
okay so tldr: bobby died. this actually leaked a few weeks ago bc someone stumbled on them filming his funeral, so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but there was a lot of speculation that it was a fake-out. it is almost definitely not. the actor posted his goodbye letter, people are making "it was a pleasure working with you" posts, the showrunner straight up said in multiple interviews that he's dead.
if you do not actively watch 911, the things you need to know are:
bobby was the captain of firehouse 118
he is a recovering alcoholic, and the son of an alcoholic firefighter
once, while drunk, he left a space heater on that started a fire that ultimately burned down an apartment building and ~150 people died, including his wife and kids
he was very suicidal for a while and planned on killing himself after he saved 150 people to make up for the ones he killed
he is estranged from his mother and brother
throughout the course of the show, bobby gets better. he struggles with alcoholism sometimes, he struggles with guilt (he is also very catholic), but he moves on. he remarries and adopts stepkids, befriends his wife's ex-husband, becomes the beloved captain and father figure and advice-giver for the whole station. he even becomes the pseudo-father to buck, who has a complicated relationship with his own parents.
the thing about long-running procedurals is that it is really easy for characters to stagnate, or to run out of things to do with them. 911 started in spring 2018; in the past 8 seasons (7 years!) they have had two main cast members join as first responders, one leave (in the first season) and one character become a first responder and then leave. that's it. that's all of the changes for the fire, police, and dispatchers.
so the question, right, is how do you move the show forward? there are a lot of ways, death isn't the only one, but you need things to change. there have been changes - bobby has been briefly ousted as captain twice, both times lasting 3-5 episodes - and it's always clear that he is incredibly central to the way the firehouse functions. he cooks the meals, he connects with his team on professional and personal levels, he cares so very much.
what are some interesting things you can do with bobby?
introduce someone who survived the apartment fire. i really didn't like this arc, because i think they fucking bungled it, but it's an interesting idea.
bring him to the brink of relapse, or of suicide, and walk him back, but after seven years, you need to do something new.
expose him to nuclear waste. talk about how his life is at risk because he wanted to save people. talk about what that means for him.
give him a happy married life, and friends, and good relationships with his kids.
give him a new pseudo-kid (which they even say in the show).
re-introduce his estranged mother and brother. make sure he says to them that they missed out on his life and they will never get it back.
make him die of a heart attack for 16 minutes, for some reason.
and the thing is - it's pretty unusual for procedurals not to change cast for this long. there are 7 main cast members. for comparison, NCIS has been running for 22 seasons, consistently with a size of ~9 cast members, and someone leaves/joins every few years. so this kind of change isn't unprecedented.
so what do you do to change things up? to me, the answer is so incredibly obvious. you pull out the keystone and you watch the bridge crumble. you have all of these people who rely on him for mentorship, for parenthood, for love, for whatever. what happens when you take that away? and not "he works somewhere else" - what happens when it's gone?
let me be clear, i love bobby and i'm going to miss him, and it's not that i think this was the only choice, or they had to kill him off, or anything like that. but it is a clear interesting choice to me! it is a way to change the status quo, one that has meaningful consequences for literally every other main cast member in one way or another. killing bobby doesn't just kill him, it alters the dynamics of the show.
moreover, i think they did a great job with it! the past two episodes have been about an incident at a biomedical lab with a highly infectious disease (sidebar, this has ruined a fic idea i really liked) where most of the 118 are trapped inside in various states of medical disasters, ranging from "infected" to "hole in chest." in these episodes, bobby does everything he can to save his team, only to reveal at the very last minute that he was infected and decided to use the one dose of antiviral to save one of his firefighters rather than himself. this is rounded off with emotional goodbyes with buck and with athena, his wife, and then he dies, having given everything to the job.
a lot of people on the internet, unsurprisingly, are pretty mad. they're calling it disrespectful or whatever because of his suicidal tendencies. i could not disagree more! first of all, because he says that he loved his life, and he wanted to live, and he is sad to be dying. and second of all, when you think about the specifics of it (wanting to die of penance vs. choosing to die because he loves his team) are very very different! it is done well, it is in character, it is beautiful.
there are three more episodes in this season, with next week being bobby's funeral, and i've gotta be real: i am so fucking hyped. i think that they did something interesting, and i think they did it well! i feel like it was rooted in strong characterization and i am really excited to see where this goes.
and most of all, i am excited that i have blocked so, so many people on twitter tonight. remember, kids, curate your social media experiences.
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abster05 · 9 days ago
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The Reality War
The floodgates are open now so the next few posts are just going to be rants becasue I've exhausted my options of who to talk to about this IRL, so here we go.
Why the hell did the Doctor not care about the Rani dying? Like yeah they were on opposite sides but that never mattered when it comes to the master. And I know they have a whole other fucked up thing going on with them, but are we really expected to believe that he sees (allegedly) the only other living member of his species, who he also was friends with as a child and just has absolutely no reaction to her death whatsoever? Yeah I don't buy it. I don't buy a lot of the lore they brought in this episode. Like I don't understand if the whole "Time lords are infertile" was just becasue of the Master's blowing up of Gallifrey or if it was supposed to include the Lungbarrow thing with looms and Susan being the last biological born Gallifreyan child? (Forgive me if it's wrong, I have only been able to read extracts because the PDF is hard to source) It just wasn't clear. Again, where the hell was Susan??? If the show goes on hiatus/is cancelled and they fucked what might (hopefully not) the last chance to see her played by Carole Ann Ford I will actually storm the BBC.
Also, Omega's return and defeat 5 minutes later (a generous 5 minutes) actually felt insulting. Like he is such a big deal and they just...wasted him? As well as fucking up the lore for no good reason. Like what actual purpose was served by them saying that he was a mad god who was banished rather than a hero to the, Time Lords who went mad as a result of being stuck alone in a universe of antimatter-the price to pay for giving the Time Lords time travel technology? There wasn't one. Because they did nothing with his chracter. Yeah it explains why he was a big CGI monster. Which they didn't need to do. None of it needed doing. They should have either had the Rani or or Omega as the finale villain. There wasn't enough time for them to do both. Correction, they could ahve gotten away with it if we didn't spend half the episode using Belinda's character to show women how we do really want children if we stop and think about it, and that if we don't then we'll change our minds when we get one and we won't remeber why we didn't in the first place.
After 30 or so years the Rani comes back and they do her SO bad. Like why is she lowkey flirting with Conrad (she said 10 minutes ago that she sees humans as insects, let's be so fr rn) and the Doctor? I had to turn to my family and friends SO fast to clear up the "lovers" comment. Like let's not please. She was a brilliant scientist, and we barely see any proof of it. No she's just evil and insane. Like I think they describe her as ammoral in this episode but she just wasn't? Like to me she just felt evil rather than ammoral. Like her not caring about the opression in Wish World because it doesn't affect her experiments? Fine. But some of the other stuff just felt like a female version of the insane villain we got in the Simm incarnation of the Master. And then she get sliterally eaten. By a fucking CGI skeleton Omega. Sure man.
Let's not forget that it's the South Asian incarnation of the Rani who gets eaten while the older (white regeneration) is the one who survives. Not hating om the actress at all, just on RTD showing of more racism and misogyny in a finale full of it.
It's crazy how in an episode seemingly dedicated to showing why racism, sexism and homophobia and ablism is bad, actually included some examples of all of those things either from the characters or the writers.
What the fuck happened to this show? Genuinely? TV can shape attitudes, especially if you're young and that's what happened to me watching this show (among others) Like of course it was never perfect (ie. Martha's treatment) but to me as a kid it at least got across that bigotry and violence are bad and are never the answer. Like I recognised pretty young some of the problems with Season 3 and more as I got older. And where has that show gone? Everyone says it's gone woke but that finale felt like the opposite. And it's really fucking sad.
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ladylooch · 3 months ago
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Bones - Part 21 [Mack x David]
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A/N: So sorry this didn't get posted yesterday! All is fixed, including the year this is actually happening, not what I had previously written. My rational brain hates that error, but I know you're all much more forgiving 😘 TBH, some of you might be mad at me for this one... I accept my fate.
Word count: 4.5k
Warnings: a lot of vomit talk, medical jargon, hospital situation... and pregnancy 😁
August 2059
Steam billows around Mack’s body in the enclosed glass shower as she turns the hot water off. Her skin is pink from the temperature and she feels loose for the first time all day. Her and David have been chasing their boys around the apartment. 3 year old Nicky has become a little hellion on legs, running around, jumping on furniture, crawling around to show 5 month old Knox he can do it too. Knox tries supporting his weight on his limbs, but isn’t quite there yet. But nobody believes in Knox more than his big brother Nicky.
Needless to say, things look a little different now that they are parents to two boys.
It’s been weeks since Mack and David had a date night. The last one was 5 weeks ago, back in Iowa, after Mack had finally started to feel better from the sinus infection she got following another round of toddler colds taking over their household. They went to a movie and had a late night dinner before coming home to take care of each other in bed. Nicky and Knox had stayed with Felix and Lorena for the night. It was amazing. Mack hopes the vibes will be similar, although the boys will be at home tonight. David heads back to Iowa this weekend to check in on the farm, so he wants to soak up as many sleepy cuddles as possible with the boys tomorrow morning.
Mack pushes open the shower door, watching the steam escape into the bigger room. The swirls wisp up to the ceiling as she dries off with the new, fluffy spa towels she found at a local home goods store. Their bathroom is still an oasis, even if the tub is filled with bath toys and alphabet letters now. The towel goes to her hair next, scrunching it a few times to get most of the water out then she begins applying her creams and oils. 
She reaches into the second drawer to grab her hair brush, seeing the pack of pregnancy tests she picked up earlier in the week. She is late and got the tests as an ease of mind. She had some spotting the following day and figured maybe it was light because of the antibiotics she had been on. And the stress of raising two, young boys.
Mack contemplates. It would be nice to take this and not worry about it for date night. She doesn’t really believe she is pregnant, but the peace of mind would be good. The potential keeps tugging at the back of her mind every time she feels slightly off.
So, she pees in a cup, dips the stick in, then heads to the closet to pull on her outfit. Even though it’s August and humid, Mack really wants to wear the new jeans she got from Levi when they returned to New York two weeks ago. Their family came back earlier this summer because Mack has an assignment in Greece next week, and she wasn’t able to find a trip itinerary that made sense from Iowa. Mack holds up her new jeans, comparing them with a short, black leather skirt. She scrunches her nose, going back and forth until she ultimately decides on the skirt. The jeans will have to wait until Fall arrives.
She puts on a matching underwear set in a cyan blue then the skirt. It’s a touch snug at the waist, but Mack knows it will stretch out some while they’re walking to dinner. She grabs a stretchy, white crop top she loves, putting it on as she walks back into the bathroom. When she gets there and sees her reflection, she frowns. What the fuck? This is not flattering on her. She turns to the side, looking at where the leather hugs at her lower abdomen. She looks extremely bloated, like she is about to start her period. How annoying for it to come right now when it’s date night. She adjusts the skirt so it isn’t as stretched to the side, then looks down at the pregnancy test.
Mack inhales, clasping her hand over her mouth. Her panicked eyes shoot up to her reflection then back to the stick. She didn’t read it right. Clearly.
Two magenta pink lines greet her again. 
“What the fuck!” She squeaks out. “Oh my god.” 
Mack freezes, eyes wider than dinner plates as she takes in the proof of her next pregnancy. She was not prepared for this. She did not think she was actually pregnant. She took this damn test for peace of mind. Not for confirmation! She picks the test up, scanning to look for any defects or faulty manufacturing. 
“This is not right.” She shakes her head, tossing it into the trash. She grabs another one, dipping it into the cup again. This time she stays rooted in place to see the two lines appear. “Oh…..” She blows out the rest of that breath with puffed cheeks. Her lips roll into her mouth, squished between her teeth. 
Don’t freak out, she tells herself.
But she’s already started.
She tosses the test back down on the counter. Her hands go to her hips as her chest begins to heave from big breaths. She looks up at the ceiling as her eyes fill with tears. She cannot be pregnant. She can’t possibly be pregnant again. She is still breastfeeding Knox. How is she going to grow one and keep one fed?
Too much, this is waaaaay too much. 
She rubs at the center of her forehead then flies out of the bathroom.
With each step she takes down the hallway, Mack descends more into her freak out. As she rounds the corner into the living room, her stricken eyes meet her husband who looks up from the book he is reading for Nicky while Knox plays under his enrichment arch. 
“The bear said…” David trails off when he sees his wife’s face. He arches an eyebrow at her then Mack starts to gasp, choking on air before a sob ribs through the room. “Oh-kay! What’s wrong!?” David stands up quickly, carefully moving Nicky to the side. He steps around Knox on the floor. 
“Ohmygod.” Mack shakes her head rapidly from side to side as she starts to sob harder.
“Baby, what is wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Mack can’t speak, she just continues to shake her head. The motion makes her dizzy until she sways into David’s chest, eyes squeezing shut. Mack starts to sob so hard she can barely breathe in between shudders. David holds her, unable to do anything else until Mack fills him in on what is going on. Behind him, Nicky senses the distress and begins to cry loudly. This sets off his younger brother until everyone in the apartment is wailing except for David. 
“Honey?” He pulls her away from his chest, trying to get something, anything out of her. “Breathe.” He quietly requests, cupping both her cheeks in strong but tender hands, trying to center her. Mack gasps, lips quivering the entire time.
David looks over his shoulder, taking stock of the boys being generally okay, then brings Mack over to the couch. She slumps into a sitting position, trying to steady her breathing while David tends to the boys. Knox focuses in on the spinning ball above his head when David taps it and Nicky accepts Daddy hugs immediately when offered. David rests his hand on Mack’s knee from where he is on the floor with Nicky. Slowly, she begins to calm down, suddenly feeling drained and tired. She swallows hard, leaning back into the couch cushions. She hiccups then looks at David.
“I’m pregnant.” 
David stares at her, unmoving for a minute, then his eyes close in understanding.
“How sure are you?”
“I’m really fucking sure after the two tests I just took in the bathroom.”
“Fuck.” He blows out a heavy sigh.
“Yeah fuck! Fuck me!” She exclaims, pointing her fingers at her chest. She then flings that hand to Knox. “He’s 5 months old.” David is quiet, but his face shows how hard he is thinking about what to say next. Mack doesn’t want to hear it. She wants to go curl into a ball and drown in her regrets.
It was that date night. The antibiotics. David not wearing a condom like they talked about because they both said screw that. What were the actual chances? Her begging him to fill her up. What the hell were they thinking?!
“I gotta lay down. I’m gonna pass out.” She says then starts slumping down to the floor next to him instead of laying across the couch.
“Honey, no. I’ll take you to bed, c’mere.” David gathers her up. Mack loosely folds her arms around his neck as he takes her back down the hallway. He lays her on the bed, then goes into the bathroom to examine the tests from the counter and trash can. “Yeah, there is no mistaking that, huh?” He says to her, scratching the back of his head as he walks into the bedroom again. His mouth slants to the side as their eyes met. Mack closes her eyes in devastation, rolling over so her back is to him. “I’m going to let you be alone.” He tells her, coming to kiss her head. “I love you.”
He doesn’t tell her he’s happy. He doesn’t tell her if he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t tell her it’s going to be okay. Instead, he gives her the grace and space to feel it all. And she needs that. He pats her thigh gently, then heads out of the room, softly closing the door.
It is hours before Mack uncurls herself from the fetal position she is in. The sun is setting over the city. It’s past dinner time and the boys’ bed time. She heard David putting the boys to bed, but couldn’t get out of her position to help. She was paralyzed in her feelings. Over the years, especially for the benefit of her marriage and children, she has worked hard on her mental health. She’s found ways to soothe the monster to avoid her destructive tendencies, but this is putting her tool box to the test. 
Her and David had said after Nicky that they wanted multiple kids. They never put a set number on it. They figured they could talk more about that as David got closer to retirement. Knox was a set forth plan too. Two kids while David was still playing felt like a good number. Maybe they would cap it off with a third when they moved to Iowa full time, post-retirement. But Mack never imagined this. Knox will only be about 15 months when this baby is born. He won’t even have hit his twos yet. How is she going to juggle all of this and her career? She is supposed to go to Greece on Thursday for two weeks. The thought makes Mack start to cry again. She rolls back into the fetal position and cries until pure exhaustion pulls her into a sleep.
When she awakens, the first thing Mack registers is fingers threading through her hair. David’s wedding band is cool when it touches her scalp. Mack rolls her face towards his warmth, letting her nose scrunch into his thigh. His fingers go farther into her hair, finger prints massaging as she wakes up more. It feels good against her pounding, post-cry headache. Mack sniffs, then clears her throat. One of her hands comes across his thighs, holding onto his opposite hip. 
David’s fingers come out of her hair for a moment, pulling some strands off her cheek that had stuck to her dried tear tracks. Her eyes are gritty, even behind closed lids. They feel impossible to open, swollen and red still. His hand moves from her hair again down her back, rubbing her there in big, wide circles.
“I love you.” Mack speaks first. “I’m sorry I didn’t say that to you earlier.”
“I know you love me, honey. No need to apologize.” He assures her.
“I don’t like being this way with you. It’s not fair.”
“Babe, you’re processing a lot right now. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect.” He soothes her. “I don’t expect that from you.” 
“I’m a mess and you’re calm as always.” She mutters.
“I’m also the one who doesn’t have to do this.” He reminds her. That’s fair, she supposes. She sniffs again, then pulls away from his thigh. She rolls onto her back, which causes his hand to shift onto her chest. “What do you want to do?” He strokes his thumb across her necklace with his and boys’ initials. Mack looks back at him, confused. “You don’t have to do this. It’s your choice. If now isn’t the right time, then okay. I support whatever you need. I’m with you.” That not what Mack wants to do so she dismisses it with a head shake.
“We’re having another baby.” She exhales heavily. 
“You know it’s going to be okay, Mack. Cause it’s me and you.” He tells her when her eyes meet his again.
“I just… I don’t even have my body back yet from Knox. I’m still breastfeeding and now I’m growing another one and it’s too much, David. It’s too fucking much.”
“I know. I’m sorry. We should have been more careful. We knew the risks and went for it anyway.” 
“I’m supposed to go to Greece on Thursday. I don’t know what to do about that.”
“We will figure it out.”
- - - & - - -
October
Hesitantly, Mack brings a cracker to her dry and cracked lips. The salt from the cracker burns in the spaces of skin that have broken open. The normally smooth and hydrated flesh is wrecked from throwing up for the past several weeks. She does her best to keep them lubricated, but Mack has been fighting a different kind of monster these days. She has a severe sickness in the form of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG). Essentially, it boils down to she is constantly throwing up or so dizzy and/or nauseous that she cannot sit up.
This did not happen with her previous pregnancies and although she is only at 10 weeks, she wonders if maybe this means their having a baby girl. She feels so different this pregnancy. Nothing is radiating. Everything is terrible. As if the hurdle of a surprise, third pregnancy wasn’t enough to handle. She now has multiple more weeks of this. The doctors told her it should go away in the second trimester, but there is no guarantees of that either. It could last up until the moment she is giving birth.
Mack timidly chews the saltine cracker in her mouth, closing her eyes as another violent crash of nausea rolls through her. David gets up from where he is feeding Knox from a bottle. She had to stop exclusively breastfeeding Knox because Mack isn’t getting enough nutrients in her breastmilk for him. Her body is struggling to support her and the baby she is pregnant with let alone a third. Knox is passed out in a lump in David’s arms. She tries to smile at her sweet boys, but can’t. Her hand goes over her mouth and she hovers over the kitchen sink for an emergency catch point. David’s defeated sigh sounds behind her before he kisses the back of her neck in an effort to show support.
“I’m gonna put him down.” 
Mack nods, keeping her hand over her mouth.
“Hang in there, baby.” He pleads with her. “I love you.”
David walks off. Mack pukes in the sink. 
She rinses her mouth then tries to eat another cracker. David comes out, frowning at how she slumps against the counter with zero energy. 
“Bone broth, maybe?”
“Gross.” She snaps. He opens his mouth, but Mack throws her hand in the air at him. “Don’t try to help.” Angry, frustrated tears spring into her eyes. She shakes her head, looking back down at the barely touched sleeve of crackers. Two tears dot onto the counter top between her hands.
As if this all wasn’t enough, Mack’s least favorite part of the year is happening: training camp. David has been in and out of town, off to the rink, doing charity events and team bonding, and basically barely home. So Mack has had to do a lot of this last month alone. Additionally, she has taken most of that time off work because of how sick she has been. 
To say resentment and anger are brewing would be an understatement.
“I’m really sorry.” He says, shaking his head. “I hate this, hon.”
“Well, I love it.” She sneers at him, rolling her eyes. She snatches the crackers off the counter and heads into the living room to lay down. Nicky is down for his nap. Soon, David will go off to his pre-game nap too. Must be nice to sleep; Mack wouldn’t know.
“Can I do anything?” He asks from the kitchen.
“No.” Mack snips back. “Actually, you can leave me alone.” David sighs.
“Okay.” He says as he leaves the kitchen.
She ignores him walking to the hallway and down to their room. Once he is gone, the familiar guilt eases into Mack’s mind. This isn’t completely his fault, but it feels like it. Sure, they were both reckless with this decision, but it doesn’t effect him like it does her. He isn’t the one who can barely eat, work, or take care of their children. Mack doesn’t really care to see this from his point of view either. Boo-hoo, he has to do training camp and lift a little extra with parenting. Cry her a damn river.
Mack falls asleep on the couch, finally, being put out of her misery for about two hours. When she wakes up, she tests her stomach with two crackers, grateful when they stay down. She eats two more, waiting five minutes between each one. Soon, she has eaten half the sleeve. With food in her belly, her anger and headache begin to lift. David comes out in a blue, plaid suit with a sleepy Nicky in his arms. He drops their oldest with her, then goes to grab the youngest for himself. Nicky is content to eat crackers with Mack and watch his cartoons. 
David walks around getting ready, preparing a dinner plate for Nicky that Mack can just reheat quickly, or serve as is. He does it all one handed while Knox works his next bottle in the other arm. He also drops some oatmeal into a mason jar then pours almond milk and protein powder in, which she knows is for her. Mack looks away, feeling tears grow again. She’s useless right now and yelling at him isn’t fair. But she is so unhappy.
After he finishes in the kitchen, David pops Knox down on a blanket with a toy in front of him to paw at.
“You good?” He asks her, flipping the spinning wheel so Knox fixates on it.
“Yeah.” She answers. He nods, then heads back down to their bedroom. She watches his retreating back, recognizing that he is upset. They’ve never felt this disconnected before.
Carefully, Mack untangles her arm from around their oldest, then follows David down the hallway to their room. He is fastening his watch to his left hand, then works his actual wedding band back on, over her tattooed initials. He looks over at her expectantly, but she says nothing. He waits for a few moments, then grabs his tie from the top of the dresser.
“I’m really unhappy.” She blurts out, watching him fold his tie together in front of the mirror.
“Ya, I gather that.” He responds shortly. “I’m at a loss here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this. I’m trying to show up and support you, make your life easier, and do all my responsibilities with the team, make sure our boys are taken care of. All you’re doing back is kicking the shit outta me.”
Mack folds her top lip into her mouth.
“I’m getting tired of this.” He frowns, turning to her with his tie done. “It’s like you’re punishing me for something we both agreed on that night. You were there.” He chews his gum harder. Mack nods. She was the one who cut him off by sliding him inside of her when he suggested the condom for a third time.
“I regret it.” She admits.
“I do too.” He shrugs his shoulders. “But what are we going to do now?”
A wave of nausea hits Mack so hard she sways. She hunches over, clasping her head as the dizziness hits next. David catches her, helping her to the bathroom. He holds her hair back for her the entire episode, which makes him the last Ranger player to arrive at the rink. Mack does her best to get through the rest of the night with the boys. When they go down for bed, Mack vomits more. By the time David comes home, she is incredibly weak. David finds her slumped against the bathroom wall, barely coherent, dehydrated and suffering.
Following a hurried phone call, Connor comes up to sit with the boys while David takes Mack to the hospital for fluids. They’ve done this twice before already. David holds Mack’s hand through the transfusion. This one includes electrolytes and other nutrients to help Mack sustain her weight. She’s lost six pounds in a week. The ER doctors have legitimate concerns and contemplate keeping her overnight.
After hearing that, David calls one of the Rangers doctors and they discuss what options they have for Mack. Ultimately, the Rangers medical team will call out to a few places to get Mack a daily, at home service to get her through the worst of it. They will also get a dietitian to supplement some smoothies as meal replacements until she can stomach proteins and healthy fats again. It’s time for the care to switch to more proactive than reactive. With this assurance, and a nurse coming to oversee Mack’s care for the rest of the evening, the ER doctors release Mack into the Rangers hands.
All this extra care and concern means Mack needs to go on an official leave of absence from work to improve her health. In her current condition, she can’t travel or exert herself beyond basic needs.
Silver linings gradually begin to appear as Mack transitions into her second trimester. She can begin to eat small bites of noodle soup until she works her way up to a full bowl. She starts to eat chicken breast and fresh fruit too. Oatmeal becomes her breakfast, helping even out her digestive system and add more fiber to her diet. One day, she finishes half of David’s sandwich and they both excitedly high-five. Mack starts to put healthy weight on and her Rangers care team celebrates by giving her a big, rainbow lollipop to have during her final transfusion.
In her 21st week of pregnancy, Mack calls Sonja for an update on her return to work status. Sonja has been so understanding and empathetic through this process, which makes what Mack has to tell her so difficult.
After ten minutes of catching up and sharing pictures of the boys, Mack inhales a deep breath. Sonja smiles sadly at her like she already knows.
“I’ve made the decision to not come back.” Mack tells her. “This has been a hard decision, but I have spent the last four months of my life absolutely miserable and I only have so much time left before my life changes again. I want to soak up these moments with my boys and husband. Be here for our family now that I’m better, so David can go focus on what he needs to. He deserves it after what he has been helping me through. We need consistency and stability right now and I’m going to make sure our family has that.”
“Okay.” Sonja nods her head as she was while Mack was speaking. “I understand. You have a beautiful life, full of two boys and another baby on the way, and you need to focus on the things that are most important to you. I support you 100 percent, but we will miss you. Dearly.” Mack purses her lips and nods, trying not to cry. She will too. Even though it’s the right decisions, it is still a hard one.
That was the easy conversation. Telling her husband tonight will be hard.
“So what’s the plan between you and Sonja? You thinking a couple weeks or…” David trails off as he hands her the wet baking sheet to dry. It’s the last one so David washes his hands, then rinses down the stainless steel sink. Mack intently dries the metal off, then walks over to the cabinet it belongs in. 
“I resigned from my position today.” She tells him. David startles, eyes wide. He inhales heavily to probably rattle off a bunch of reasons why she shouldn’t have done that. But Mack smiles, shaking her head at him.
“Honey.”
“I know.” She nods her head back to him now, then opens her arms. He rushes into them, gathering her up. “I thought I would be really sad and upset. Or like this would be an impossibly hard decision to make. But truthfully, it wasn’t. Our family needs this and I do too.”
“What about freelancing? She brought that up to you earlier.” He mumbles into her shoulder.
“Maybe someday.” She smiles assuringly at him as they pull slightly apart. “Stop worrying about it.” She shakes her head, reminding him she’s okay with this decision. He sighs heavily, closing his eyes for a moment, then he nods his head, trusting her that she made the best decision possible.
“The Carlson boys are so lucky to have you as theirs, honey.” Mack smiles.
“Yeah! Good thing this one is a boy too, huh?” She strokes over her belly.
“What!?” He exclaims, dropping his mouth open. “How do you know!?” 
“I called them and asked.” She shrugs. “After how different this pregnancy is, I thought it was going to be a girl and I had this whole idea of getting really girly things to put around here for you to find. But it’s another boy, so you get this instead.” She laughs harder as he widens his eyes at her.
“Three boys under four.” He nods his head. “Holyyyy shit, we did not think this through.” He turns back to her and snorts out a laugh.
“Best surprise. I’m so happy!” She cups his face as she says it. His features soften and he kisses her deeply. “And for the record, you can come in me anytime.” 
“Right now?”
“Yeah, why are your pants still on?”
“Oh my god!” He shouts excitedly. “Finally!” He turns her hips and nudges her towards their bedroom. “I’ve been so good, ya baby? So good for ya? Gonna give me some of the good stuff?”
Mack chuckles. He’s so horny she can already see his erection straining through his jeans.
Oh yeah, he’ll be getting plenty of the good stuff from here on out.
Read more Mack and David here.
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ebonysplendor · 10 months ago
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There's Something Wrong With Sunny Day Jack (Demo) Review🌤️
TL;DR: Sunny days, keeping the clouds awaaaaaay~! ... Okay, but like what if our cloud is the "sunny day", and it won't go away? Do we even want it to at this point...?
Game Link: https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sunny-day-jack
Game Link (classic): https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sdj-classic
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Notable Features: Gender Neutral language, Self-Insert, Yandere LI, Voice Acting, Create a cup of froyo ... yo Spiciness: 5.5/5 -- Let me tell you! It's a whole scene going down in this thing, okay?! FULLY delivered. The literal only thing that would've made this any spicier is if you saw it. You kinda do, but it's just out of frame. LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulation, possessive, lowkey obsessive, implied violence and possession, but like, I'm pretty sure I can fix him, so whatever, ya know?
Wanna know more? Lmao naaah. Not if you aren't at least 18, and I mean that. There is a WHOLE spicy scene in here. This one's for the adulty adults. Anyways, if you don't care about my yapping and/or you're in the 18+ club, let's get into it!
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Okay, okay, okay, I know, yeah, I know, but listen...I'm only getting around to making the review now.
Okay, okay, okay, wait, stop, listen. I know that this game is damn near two years old, but I didn't start getting into reading visual novels until last year, and I didn't start taking the plunge to make reviews until this year so... :P
ANYWAYS! I do have news that you may not know yet! When I was looking for exactly how old this game is, I stumbled upon a little news~
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As of me typing this (which was on the 28 August at about 9:30pm, but who knows when I'll actually post this review lmao), the game was updated an hour ago. I'm talking this shit is fresh out of the box! So, naturally, I went scouring for a download button...but then it occurred to me that that message said that it was for the $12+ tier of their patreon supporters. Not gonna lie, the spicy scene in that damn game has got a girl tempted, okay? But the way my bills are set up...
Okay, anyways, getting back on track because I've started yappin'. I'm going to go ahead and jump into this thing because, let me tell you, if you're like me, and you're late to this game, you've gotta hear about it! Granted, the download to the version that I'm talking about isn't available anymore (at least for the public/non $12 patrons), but the classic version is! I don't know how different it is though ^^;
Admittedly, because this game is almost two years old and because there's not a download link available currently, I might spoil it just a little so that you're not left too much in the dark about the game, especially since, again, the download link isn't available. That being said, it may still be spoiler friendly because habit lol.
But you get it by this point. Let's stop talking and start summarizing. Let's get into it!
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So boom.
Basically, we're being...haunted?, we guess?...by this very attractive, but frankly super cheesy, children's TV show host. How'd it happened? We aren't really sure. We just remembered that we got some weird tape and was like "Huh...okay", watched it, and boom, here he is. Speaking of "he" and "here he is", here he is!
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Everyone, this is the bae, Sunny Day Jack, but he doesn't mind being called just "Jack", so refer to him as such.
Jack has kind've been rocking with us for a few months at this point, and admittedly, it was very poor but really great timing. The reason why that is the case is because we had experienced something pretty tragic, and we were having a really hard time getting over it, but honestly? Jack's child-like explanation of working through problems and explaining emotions actually came in clutch, because we were lowkey able to get this far because of him. That being said...our relationship with him is getting a little blurred -- more than a little.
Ya see, things kind've...escalated between us, and we honestly aren't sure if we're glad that we got called into work or if we're pissed about it. Like, the undertones have been there for a while, but it was only today that those undertones became more pronounced and obvious. I mean, the man had his tongue-- ANYWAYS!
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So, we go into work where our asshole manager ditches us because apparently the things that he has to do is way more important than us having a day off from babysitting and picking up the slack of our lazy ass co-workers. The only upside to this is that the day is likely to be slow because of the rain and that we're alone, meaning that we can openly talk to Jack.
Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot something super crucial -- we can see and hear Jack. More specifically, we can touch him, feel him, smell him, fuck him, the works, but, for whatever reason, others can't do the same. I guess it's like...medium privileges or being a ghost's host perks or something? Anyways, I'm getting off track. Gonna stop it there before I start spouting some stupid shit.
We kind've flashback to what happened right before our boss called, and whoo boi, does that steamy feeling come back full force. It's weird, because it's like Jack can read our mind about how we felt so comfortable and so safe and so protected and, frankly, so curious about him and what all went down in that moment. Jack basically reassures us that the feelings that we have are okay, and what would be best described as "love". Oh...oh, haha, uh...
"Nah, dawg, it's not love."
"Well...do you love me?"
AYO? I beg your finest pardon, sir!? Like, he's just gonna come out the woodwork with that shit?!
Regardless, he's still reassuring us that, "It's okay if you see me as bae" and we're just "We're roommates, dude, and seeing someone as bae is way more complicated than you're making it sound!" He pretty much just laughs it off and is like "Well, either way, I'll be here. Always. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'll be anything and everything that you need". Oof, that is...a bold ass claim, and one that we're not so entirely sure we should trust...but damn does it feel good to hear those words and have some support...anyways.
Our work day continues, we run into this awkwardly cute guy (I'll explain more later), our whore of an ex-boyfriend called and ruined our fucking mood, Jack lays down some more heavy words of reassurance, and the day goes onto the next.
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Unfortunately, we land ourselves back at work, but fortunately without the "un-", we are alone and can freely talk to Jack again. Like mentioned, the guy is a ghost, but he's so very real, just not to others, which can be super disorienting sometimes; this is one of those sometimes. Jack wanted us to make him a yogurt and...oof, his reaction was...
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...less than thrilled. Disgusted, even. Horrified.
Now, this doesn't sound like a huge detail or issue, but he actually got a bit scary here because, what is this shit that he's spouting about us "not being that type of person anymore" and "being better than that, now"? Like, when I say that this man -- clown? ghost? -- had a full shift in personality, and it was just...fear in his eyes, desperation in his voice? Like, he looked and sounded absolutely haunted and terrified of something. Like, this was beyond the horror in a cup that we apparently made him experience; it only triggered it.
Thankfully, although awkward, he easily moves past this saying that the combination of flavors just threw him off, and a customer walks in to provide a diversion for an extra layer of safety.
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Oh! It's that awkward but polite cutie from the other day!
When we see him, or rather when we hear the door, we say our awkward ass, lame ass greeting, and it's kind've an opener for him to start some super brief small talk. He eventually takes the plunge and shoots his shot. Now, personally, I think the guy is damned adorbs, but at the same time, it's just...it's too soon. That mixed with this whole thing we've got going on with Jack...
We're pretty conflicted on how to answer, un-- Wait, huh? What did...?
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Did-- Wait, Jack wants us to tell him that we have a boyfriend? And what does he mean that "it doesn't even have to be a lie"? ... He said the thing again, too. That thing about being whatever he wants us to be.
This is so anxiety inducing, too, because it's like, first off, we weren't expecting to hear him talking to us, and second, we can't acknowledge him in any shape, way, or form. Jack is quite literally looming right behind us, whispering in our ear, and we cannot so much as look his way without the guy in front of us thinking that we've completely lost our shit. Even still, our feelings for Jack have been complicated lately. Should we even take that plunge? Something about doing that doesn't seem right, though...
...We tell the guy that we don't have a boyfriend. Before he gets his hopes up too much, though, we tell him that we aren't really looking for anything right now, either. The guy leaves. The store is quiet, and we're left with alone with Jack with that awkwardness from earlier back in the air at full force; he's the first one to speak.
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He apologizes and starts asking if he's pushed anything onto us that we didn't want. Before we can really answer though, he apologizes again. He explains that he thought that he was speaking in terms of what we wanted, but he keeps going back and forth like he's trying to find the right words but also figure out where he misunderstood; better yet, and more accurately, he's trying to figure out why he misunderstood in the first place. The poor guy is honestly so pitiful at this point, and we try to stop him from rambling and reach out for him... but our hand falls right through him.
Obviously, we start panicking, and Jack explains to us that he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want him to do nor feel comfortable with, and if it's him that we don't feel comfortable with and it's him that we don't want...this is what happens.
Okay, now, we're past the point of panicking; we're on the verge of tears because had we known us saying "No, I don't have a boyfriend" meant that Jack would start questioning if we actually wanted him around and fading away, we would've never said it. True to his optimistic nature, Jack reassures us that he's not "fading away" or "disappearing", and we're just like "Dude, piss off with that. Now, is not the time" because it's like, bro, this isn't a joke or us not wanting to get up for work; this is serious.
Jack chills with the reassurance and explains that he understands that we're serious, but that this isn't an issue that he can fix himself. Jack basically said that our words -- better yet our acceptance or denial of him -- are very weighted and that the only way to fix what's going on right then and there is to reaffirm that we accept him being there and truly meaning it, and that's only because he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want or need from him.
Even still, do we really trust him fully enough to do this? He's not the kind of guy to hurt us, is he? I mean, it's Sunny Day Jack. Then again, we also thought the same about---
"Hey."
"Yeah, Jack?"
"I know it's scary, I honestly do, but you can trust me. All I want is to be with you, protect you, and make you happy; that's what I'm here for."
All of that sounds so nice, too nice, but...
Can we trust him so easily...?
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We really shouldn't...
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But that horrible, heartbreaking moment...
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That pain that Jack somehow made bearable, took away even...
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That companionship he gave us in the place of loneliness...
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His comfort...
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His gaze...
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What's wrong with feeling good? Why doubt him, and why feel like this unique and irreplicable connection is a bad thing? It's like Jack said: these feelings are okay; it's normal. There's nothing wrong with this.
...Right?
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Y'all. You all. Guys. Gays. Theys. People. Friends. MY friends. SQUAD. (all right, enough...)
Hot and bothered, bothered and hot. Like, please allow me like 3 - 5 sentences of degeneracy. Between Jack and Ren (iykyk) ... Ren still laid down the pipe better but Jack?? Jack was a damned close second. Like, did you see the way that man was looking in our eyes and holding us? Then he's so big and masculine looking and ahhhhh~! That is BAE right there!
Anyways, getting back on track, when I had to go back and get those screenshots, what should've taken me like 5 - 10 minutes took me like 30+ minutes because I had to relive these moments. I had to relive this story! Like I mentioned earlier, the game is damn near two years old, but it reads like new, you feel me? The story, the implications, the art style, the scenes, the drama -- ahhh! I LIVE. I ASCEND. Like, when these developers hit the mark, they hit the damned mark with such precision!
I'm pretty sure that it's been mentioned at this point, but do you know what I loved the most about this visual novel (degeneracy aside, of course lol)? The subtle but oddly specific ass details that you're sure to miss or gloss over if you're not paying attention. I'm talking those details that you probably wouldn't catch until you've already read it once, seen how things have panned out, and then read through it again. Like, how it described us feeling cold whenever we thought about Jack leaving or fading away from us, or how the air would feel like syrup or cotton candy whenever he spoke to us, or how we'd get all warm in the most literal sense whenever Jack was near, or feel full, or completed, or -- the list honestly goes on. Like, there's a lot of allusion to being slowly corrupted/possessed by Jack, because this guy is a ghost, remember? Yeah, I had lowkey forgot, too.
Those specifically subtle details really made the story come together, and once I caught onto what was going on, I was just like, bro, the signs were there! I'd have to say that my absolute favorite "subtle" sign was when Jack always seemed to know exactly what we were thinking, almost like he was able to read our thoughts, but as soon as we started to "reject" him, all of a sudden he wasn't exactly sure what we thought. He went from responding to our thoughts to questioning what we may have been thinking about. Like, what? Go the eff off SnaccPop!
I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this frickin visual novel. I could ramble and geek way more but I'm gonna start wrapping it up before I start yappin' too, too much. Just allow me a few more sentences, a paragraph or two, please.
I. Cannot. Wait! For the full and official release! I am so excited to see how the team is going to mold this story and how things are going to pan out. I'm excited to see how and if we're able to get away from Jack because, at this point, he has a damned strong hold on us, but I'm speculating that our horror movie fanatic and director friend is going to come in clutch for this one.
If it was not obvious (and honestly, if you were somehow later to this game than I was) 100/10 would recommend, and I am recommending. It is so good, and I really hope that I'm not over hyping it, because the foundation that has been built for this story is so damned solid. Like I mentioned way earlier, unfortunately, you can't play the (free) updated demo anymore, but you can still play the classic one; I just don't know how different it is compared to the new version. Either way, I'll give you the link to both just in case (Update | OG). If you're able, definitely give them that monetary support and play the updated version. Hell, tell ME how it is because...I really don't want to put off my bills but, at this point, Jack has me in a fucking chokehold all over again. What's an extra, unplanned $12 at this point? Also, if able, visit the game's page and give SnaccPop that ever so encouraging but thirsty "NEED. MOAR. I mean, you take your time because perfection can't be rushed, and I know you all are people with a life and other responsibilities and such, BUT I NEED. MOAR. IT'S SO GOOD. STAND AND DELIEVER. ...please UwU I beg OTL"
Meh, that was highkey three paragraphs, but I'm not gonna split it so it can still be the two paragraphs that I requested. Lol sorry for pushing it there, but I'm done now! Promise. No more yappin'. The yap has been concluded, and I'm gonna go ahead and head out.
Big preesh for getting this far, and please, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!
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Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Updated; download not available to public)
Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Classic; download available)
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mooifyourecows · 1 month ago
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Feel free to completely ignore this if you've already answered it or something but!! I was wondering what your process is for developing AUs? Specifically for something like Bad Masters where you have this compelling world building and then fold into it complex relationships and dynamics and tropes etc etc I just loveeeee it and wanna pick your brain. thank you have a good day
i'm so glad you enjoy my AUs so much! honestly, I have a lot of experience writing original stories, so writing AUs feels very natural to me. when it comes to fanfic, i treat the characters like lab rats that i'm plopping into a new environment just to observe how they respond to said new environment.
i really like the planning stage of writing. i love going on my little dog walks, listening to the story playlists I've made, and thinking my little thoughts. it's so satisfying when an idea comes together in my head and inspires me to the point that i want to start writing RIGHT AWAY (which is probably why i have so many ongoing fics... new ideas steal my attention, rip)
i'm also not above admitting that i get tons of inspiration from other forms of media. i watch a LOT of movies and tv shows, play videogames, and read things that get my creative juices bubbling. hell, i watched a movie TRAILER that got me thinking new AU thoughts. I read the first chapter of a book, liked the setting, and immediately wrote 40k words of a fic set in a similar setting with a plot that's completely unrelated to the book that inspired me. (i think? i never continued reading after that first chapter so who knows what it's actually about lol i read 5 pages about a snowy mountain lodge and ran away with it)
For Bad Masters specifically, I think i was in the middle of a Futurama rewatch while writing, so i decided to make it futuristic. Bender and his robo puppy in Fry's dead dog episode probably inspired Amaya, though I def took her a complete different direction than my initial plans.
since my stories are more character focused, i try not to get too bogged down with the setting. i don't want to get stuck over explaining everything that makes the setting different from regular reality. and i know readers don't want to waste time READING a long explanation about the world. i also hate writing description, which limits me when it comes to establishing a unique setting. so i try to instead naturally include enough small details to give the reader an impression of what the world is like in a very normal, natural way, as if there's nothing strange and different about it.
instead of flat out explaining the state of things, i just plop some stuff in there every once in a while for readers to either care about or not. the People's Revolution of 2036 is mentioned but not gone into detail about because it's not important to the story. it's a thing that happened a few hundred years ago, no biggie. sure, it catapulted the world into what it is now, with the death of billionaires (at least domestically) and definitive action FINALLY taken to reverse climate change, but it's not important to Daichi and Suga falling in love, so we're not dwelling on that.
i didn't want the future setting to be TOO much, requiring way more effort to describe and explain things. so yeah, a lot is the same. they've got AI service animals, a light pollution curfew, safety fields around balconies, machines that give users the ability to feel things remotely, and street cleaning robots to sweep up all the extra pollen from new green corridors created to protect against climate change. but they also still use personal cell phones, the fashion cycle has come full circle and brought things we wear today back into fashion (though i do believe hoodies and sweatpants will never truly go out of fashion), and people have to deal with targeted advertisements, just now using more advanced emotion detection AI to better sell you shit you don't need.
It's not a utopia, but it's not dystopian either. there's good and bad, just like in our time right now. it makes it easier for me to write, but also easier to read and absorb.
and i feel like simplicity is really important when establishing an AU. you can't overwhelm the reader. i remember once trying to read a book back when i was a teenager and the first few pages were nothing but description of the setting. to the tiniest details like the types of plants that grow in the area and how they're used to make salves/etc. Despite being a voracious reader, finishing a book every few days, those few pages felt like hundreds. it was too much. i was so bored. i never finished the book.
there's this urge to explain EVERYTHING when you start an AU with what you feel is a super interesting setting/scenario. and as someone who has a problem over explaining already, it's like pulling off my fingernails trying to keep it casual and subtle. but it's super vital to learn patience and the art of revealing things gradually, as the story progresses. and the strength to eliminate excess information that just doesn't fit. like, i have a whole backstory thought up about Daichi's ancestor, Sawamura Kanae, who took control of Japan during the People's Revolution of 2036, but it probably won't make it into the story itself because it's not important, and would feel totally unnecessary and random to just stuff in there.
When it comes to writing AUs, know and understand your AU more than you actually intend to share. that way you can write little throwaway lines or references in ways that make the setting feel fleshed out without wasting time explaining every little unimportant detail. it's okay for your reader to wonder about stuff. it's okay if they don't know everything. if they come to your inbox and ask, hey, you got some fun little bonus information for them, but didn't have to sacrifice the flow of the story to give it.
remind the reader about the universe through small details. for Bad Masters, when things start to feel too mundane, I toss in mention of a robot or some other futuristic technology. it's simple. low effort. readers are smart, and they have their own imaginations that will fill in the blanks far better than your excessive description ever could.
i may not be very good at cutting out unnecessary dialogue, but i AM a master at leaving out unnecessary description. sometimes to my detriment, lmao
in the end though, have fun with it! i have so much fun coming up with AUs. I love fleshing out a world and coming up with rules. if you ain't havin fun, you aint doin it right!
ok idk if this is actually helpful, but there you go! don't worry about doing it well, just do it and have a blast while you do. writing is fun, from the planning to the sharing stage and don't ever forget it! if it stops being fun, you need to take a break. don't suffer for your art. make art to ease your suffering 😉🖤🌈
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orquidborgo · 9 months ago
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Well, I'm getting a fever and with a lot of ideas, so I'm going to write them here because I don't have anything better to do!
This are concepts/writing ideas I got that I have more or less the story made in my head but I never wrote it down because I don't have the confidence to publish anything (haha self esteem issues are so funny), so here they are:
Jake Muller, professional B.O.Wsitter
* I got this idea while reading a modern fantasy resident evil fanfic (where the wound drips venom from your soul), basically:
After the events of resident evil VI, Jake only accepted jobs that allowed him to fight B.O.W and protect people BUT that didn't get him a lot of money, with Sherry's birthday approaching he is thinking about taking a mercenary jobs that pays very well until he receives a call from Chris Redfield, go to the middle of nowhere in Nebraska(? I'm thinking about changing the location) on a mansion with everything paid to take care of 5 B.O.Ws, just not the way he though he would.
Perfect paintings
* I got this idea from reading a really short story from space marine husbandry (I think it was from @kit-williams, is a story about a custodes, idk I forgot, it was so long ago) but I never got the confidence to write it because I don't think I will write a good mystery piece that'll comply with my expectations:
Detective Arad Yilmaz approached the scene, this is the 4th murder this month, the murders follow a pattern: All of them were strangled to death, had long black hair, honey/light brown eyes, middle eastern heritage and where last seen interacting with a really tall astartes.
The location of the corpses leave a trail as if the murderer have been moving constantly, following the same movement as the chaos warbands path, now with this corpse being found by a Dark Angel the astartes want to take this matter in their own hands.
Will Arad be able to find the murderer, bring them to justice and avoid an all out war between astartes before is too late? The clock is ticking.
There is no home like the one your bonded is:
* After reading Cedric's story in space marine husbandry (I also forgot to say that Cedric belongs to @sleepyfan-blog, sorry) and watching the movie "Bolt" I got thinking, what happens when a space marine grows a bond with a human that lives in another country and is only visiting? So here it is:
Guillermo Testarossa is visiting the U.S.A for his winter vacation, following his aunt's advice to stave off boredom he ventures into the local astartes hospital with his aunt's bonded apothecary. There he meets an injured space wolf, the rest of his vacation he spends it talking and having fun with this astartes but not everything last forever and he has to comeback to his home country Argentina, saying his goodbyes and promising to comeback next year.
Unbeknownst to him, this space wolf will not wait an entire year, using a joke his brother-captain made as motivation, with a camera, a notepad and supplies on his back he embarks on a adventure walking from the U.S to Buenos Aires - Argentina to find his bonded, taking photos and recording everything he encounters in his journey. The only thing he knows is that his bonded lives in San Telmo, works in a coffee shop with private tango shows and studies electronic engineering.
Save us from ourselves
* I seriously need to read Magnus primarch novel because there is no way you are telling me a whole planet of highly trained psykers (this mfs have magic, mind you) with space travel technology didn't have a plan B to evacuate civilians in case of a invasion, and I also like Arknights a LOT so, this is kind of a crossover between 40k and arknights:
Rhode Island is an humanitarian/pharmaceutical organization that travels across space with the mission of saving psykers, protecting those infected with flesh change and find the cure of said illness, right know they have treatment and have developed technology to protect/stabilize psykers with it so they can live a normal life.
Marckus Ahriman is a young 16 year old field operator with signs of mutation and a big heart who wishes for a world where all psykers are free and flesh change is finally cured. In a fateful operation battling against a chaos incursion he finds a soul shard that "calls" to him, upon touching it he remembers: he Magnus the Red, primarch of the Thousand Sons and son of the Emperor of Mankind, or well... A shard of him.
My big... Primarch?: Friendship is Magic (this is a temporary title)
* I watched a few episodes of my little pony so this is a crack fic, don't mind it that much:
During her fight against Starlight Glimmer through timelines; Twilight Sparkle gets "knocked out", but when she wakes up again to try and stop Starlight, she ends up in Magnus's body as a baby. So is basically her dealing with 40k insanity, family issues and trying to go back to her home.
She would try to understand why the other primarchs are so apprehensive of magic and would try to befriend them: She would try and not use magic in front of Mortarion after knowing his trauma and help him through it the best she can, would cure Angron of his nails, Leman would finally like her because she gets tired of his bullshit and start throwing hands and things like that.
Magnus's regular day
* With how pridefull is Magnus about magic, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten in a lot of psychic shenanigans in "regular show" style, every chapter would be Magnus getting into a crazy adventure, sometimes pulling his brothers, any of his sons or a unfortunate custodes along the ride.
The Emperor, Malcador and Constantin are just... Done with his magical bullshit at some point and just let him be because they know that he'll somehow fix it at the end.
So... Yep. This is all I got.
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13thdoctorposts · 1 year ago
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I hate that RTD and Tennant and crew can't leave the show alone, that not only does RTD act like his formula is the only/best and not only is Tennant incapable of fucking stepping back from the role even after a grossly egotistical first run in the 00s, but a generation of fans only recognise/like Who when its in that image. And that hurts the show massively, it hurts other actors both in the sense that they aren't allowed from out of his fucking shadow and in that literal workplace abuse and media smear campaigns are excused when it happens around them.
Yeah, considering the most questionable things seem to happen under RTDs watch but the media never has anything to say negative about him compared to the level of shit levered at Moff but then even more so at Chibs, especially when Chibs seems like the most humble of the 3 is crazy.
I've read a lot of comments that Chibs wasnt good enough to Showrun as big a show as Doctor Who he didnt have the skills for it, but lucky RTD is back because he has the skills to do it, the cope from people is crazy!
Especially considering the shit show that seems to exist now, leaks, upon leaks, upon leaks, Ncuti's announcement almost instantly being over shadowed by Tennant's announcement, and the fact that Ncuti's happened on a red carpet... they would have known it was about to be leaked and couldn't have come up with something a bit better even if it was on a short deadline? Didn't really matter I guess Tennent coming back and being announced the following week seemed more important to them. The Bi-regeneration, which within the show lore I don't care about, do canon braking things, but of course that left the 14th Doctor out there doing his own thing with his own TARDIS completely overshadowing Ncuti, the number of comments I've seen about 15th not being the 'real' Doctor or being a clone Doctor etc. and for what to keep Tennent around off camera? So that people would question 15th legitimacy? To make sure Ncuti couldn't have his time alone to shine? Then we have the recent articles saying Millie was dropped/axed... with no evidence spread across the internet and front pages of papers across the UK saying she was dropped/axe for inappropriate behaviour with no elaboration, just trying to ruin a 19 year olds career with nothing to corroborate or evidence given and neither Bad Wolf or The BBC bothered to come out and clarify anything even though these stories also unofficially announced a new companion... one that even Mandip Gill said she has kindly messaged and Radio Times has spoken about, but Bad Wolf and The BBC haven't even announced her and given her that moment. And a side note to that is the new white companion got introduced with the TARDIS by the New Doctor as an official announcement the woman of colour companion got announced in a bunch of papers bad mouthing the former companion, guess like Ncuti not everyone gets to have the same treatment. So Chibs wasnt good enough to Showrun?! No one knew Jodies casting announcement that didnt get leaked, even Dan got his own video announcement as a new companion, nothing to do with his writing but Showrunning the show with the limited BBC budget he had even though he was able to keep his house in order for over 5 years while RTD, with his big BBC/Disney budget doesnt seem to keep anything in order, and Chibs is the one who supposedly doesnt have the skills to Showrun.
I think we really did need a brand new show runner and Tennent should have only returned for the 60th if it was a multi Doctor story, Multi, not as in just with 15 in the last ep but with previous Docs. All the 60th did was give the 10th Doctor a happy ending that was seriously weird for all the Doctors who came after him, so narratively was just a WTF, like you just told a companion you had feelings for them and couldn't settle down and 3 days later settle down with a friend from 1000 years ago (in the doctors time) talk about jarring to watch, the episodes were not celebratory in anyway, wasn't written any better then 13 era despite what we were told we would get and left 14 there so people could make countless videos and write countless blog posts about how 15 isnt legitimate. what a celebration!
I think we needed a brand new show runner, no having 10 and 14 to make Tennent even more special by putting him in every Doctor line up from now on twice and had Ncuti come in. I understand He couldn't film for the 60th, but they managed to put a Christmas Ep out with him 3 weeks later maybe instead of the 60th and Christmas ep it could have been a movie length ep with Ncuti so filming could have started later.
Thats a pretty long rant sorry. But in conclusion we should have just moved forwards instead of bothering to look back, and given the new actors the lime light in the way they deserved.
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athene-owl · 1 year ago
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Dream Video Bullshit
I decided against my better judgement to watch Dream's latest video. Here are the main things I wanted to say - if I don't mention something it's probably because I actually agree with what Dream said or don't know/care. A lot of this is rambling and venting because I'm annoyed and refuse to give him/his fans anymore of my energy or time to polish up this post.
1:16 - Dream says his accusers will make it harder for 'real victims in the future' to be believed and I just need to say that this felt like a really brash and entitled thing to start the video up with. Now you wanna care about victims Dream? After what happened last year? We'll get to that.
3:40 - This is a very small thing but Dream says here that in one video while he was playing Minecraft muted, he was being 'interviewed' by a SWAT Team member next to him in the room and I just can't help but question the validity of this because how did this happen? You were swatted and had someone in the room with you asking questions and you divided your attention between that and still playing Minecraft? You didn't just stop playing to focus on the SWAT Team? This barely matters but it fascinates me.
5:09 - Dream really goes out of his way here to point out that his speedrun cheating was discovered by a cheater and plays a clip showing how illegitimate this guy's speedruns were. This absolutely feels like him shifting blame and trying to paint this rando as a bad person to somehow excuse his own cheating which he says was unintentional. At 5:30 he says him and a developer had ruled out him using a mod - how did they determine this when he WAS proven to have used a mod and insisted he didn't realize? He doesn't elaborate.
6:30 - Here Dream acknowledges his behavior towards the speedrunning mods was bad and takes responsibility for it which is good but does not erase all the drama and bullshit he caused. When that whole thing went down, his stans passionately took his side but now that he's admitted to acting wrong they are fawning over his maturity - you guys sure didn't have a problem with it back then. At 6:40 he makes the point that the speedrun was 3 years ago and a lot has changed and I just don't see that change when he's still causing dumbass drama every week. Good on him for taking his videos down and apologizing to the mods but, again, his stans were all enthusiastically on his side then so I don't want to hear them now praising him for doing the right thing when clearly his behavior wasn't enough to turn them away from him 3 years ago. This is a trend with Dream's stans.
10:02 - Here Dream admits he was wrong to immediately and publicly disregard the info dug up about his domestic abuser friend which OK, good to admit, but 2 things - 1. Why, only a year ago, were you so quick and eager to disregard reports of abuse and 2. How did the fandom react to this. Again, if people took his side and disbelieved the victim, they can't now be so proud of him for admitting he was wrong. This does NOT instill confidence in me that him and his community would take later allegations against Dream seriously. Hot take, but I really think his initial response was despicable, irresponsible and I just feel sorry for the guy's victim in all of this. At 11:48 he pats himself on the back for how he handled the situation (besides initially brushing off the evidence) and ends with "I made it clear I didn't support domestic violence even at the detriment of one of my oldest friendships" and I'm sorry but given how Dream conducts himself, that feels like a manipulative little ploy to look good and garner pity for doing the bare minimum. Again, how many of his stans leapt at the chance to brush aside abuse reports and documented evidence and what did he do?
EDIT: Previously I thought the info on the friend was revealed by the victim herself speaking up but I was corrected on this and now know it was the friend's info being leaked and people snooping. Check my reblog for more info.
15:00 - He defends his Snapchat use with the fact that he promotes content on there but the photos consist of him doing random shit in his day-to-day life so I fail to see how that promotes his content rather than feeding his fans' parasocial relationship with him lol. At 15:20 he admits he isn't the one liking weird fanart on his account and 1. He's just admit he's been lying about running his own account for years and 2. Did he ever speak against the weird sexualisation in his community? Why did he allow his friend to keep liking weird shit, only messaging her to unlike it after the fact rather than laying the rules out? Idk this is just weird man. At 15:23 he shows a tweet by a defender of his stating that clearly he runs his account because if he had someone else running it, there would be a disclaimer. His fans gave him the benefit of the doubt and chastised others for not doing the same only to be proven wrong themselves lmao
17:08 - Dream claims he 'doesn't take himself too seriously' and I do not fucking believe that. This man has the ego of a planet and is lashing out at others every fucking week over it. Be fucking for real.
20:10 - Here Dream admits that him calling his fanbase 'kittens' was weird and he regrets it but also insists the whole 'Discord kitten' meme wasn't big back then and, this is purely anecdotal, but I absolutely think it was. Anyway, again, I wonder how many of his fans defended this back in the day and how many of those same people will now agree with Dream it was embarrassing and weird solely because HE now says it is and not because they can critically look at his behavior themselves. I'm skeptical of him insisting it wasn't meant in a weird way and he randomly chose the term 'kitten' because everyone back then instantly connected it to the Discord kitten thing but ok.
21:29 - Dream discusses the whole 'selling baby photos of himself' thing which I had never heard about before and am a bit gagged by. Anyway, here he specifically points out that celebrities have sold their baby photos before as if that helps his case at all, he explains the hard drive wristband thing was the product BUT it is still insanely weird and egotistical to me to include baby photos on that drive. He compares this to a biography but, again, this does not help the parasocial allegations because what the fuck has he done in his life to warrant a biography and what sort of audience needs this? I know this might be sacrilege to say but uhh this was objectively weird of him to do and he cannot sway my mind on that. Also for someone who doesn't take himself seriously, he sure was happy to quote himself on the hard drive???
36:09 - Finally into the more serious shit. Here, Dream points out the fact that Amanda was defending him when the whole face reveal happened 10 days before her allegations came out + liking his tweets 2 days before the allegations. I just wanna say this really means little, victims can be in denial or have complicated feelings. Also, at 36:18 he then says that she made her accusations because of the hate train following the face reveal and she wanted to get in on it even though he just said she was supportive of him and defending him? He's spinning this both ways - saying she was supportive to discredit her claim and then saying she suddenly hated him to also discredit her claim.
38:05 - He gets his mum involved to prove a point and I cannot emphasize enough how meaningless this is, even if its the truth you expect me to think your mother is unbiased and wouldn't lie to cover your ass?
40:06 - Bold of Dream to criticize Amanda for not treating the situation seriously when Dream stans are running around calling this shit a 'drontroversy'. At 44:20 he even says this isn't online drama. He also uses the image below as proof of her wanting him or whatever which 1. Doesn't matter when discussing underage exploitation because her behavior would never warrant her being taken advantage of and 2. Also shows him making weird sexual comments which he vehemently denied doing earlier.
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42:12 - Dream asks how, if Amanda is dishonest about some things, how can anything she says be trusted? Why can't that same logic be applied to Dream for things he has no actual evidence for? He makes this argument again at 43:20 - if she's lying about the photo, how do you know she's not lying about everything else? Not a great argument from Dream of all people.
44:00 - AGAIN this man relies on victim-blaming rhetoric to make his point - "Go to the police. Or sue me. The standard of proof for you suing me is only proving that it's more likely than not that you're telling the truth. 51%. Come take my money." The insinuation that it's easy or simple for women to take men to court and sue them for sexual crimes is laughable and shows a real arrogance and ignorance to Dream. Again, regardless of how true the allegations were, women have gone to court with every type of evidence under the sun and still got nothing so what makes Dream assume this is an easy process? Do victims need to sue their abusers to be telling the truth? With all of his money and privilege, would Dream not be at a huge advantage in court? Weak argument that really feels disrespectful. At 44:15 he makes a little remark about how in court, her 'weird comments' and 'character' would have to be questioned and answered for. Despite the fact that any comments she made as a minor would be irrelevant in this case, despite the fact that someone's 'character' doesn't automatically determine whether they're a victim or not, this is also a funny comment because he's right - yeah, in court the female accuser would be picked apart and judged for shit that doesn't matter. Good thinking there Dream, really making your case!
44:25 - Here he gives a little lecture to Amanda about her hurting 'real victims' and again, as a reminder, this man publicly disregarded those concerned about intricate reports of abuse, has watched as his fans doxed and abused countless people and yet positions himself as an authority on deciding who is a real victims and who isn't. What also makes shit hard for victims is highly popular men like him convincing people to instantly disbelieve women, send them endless hate and make ignorant comments about how victims act. I don't want to hear any moral lecturing from Dream of all people about others 'hurting real victims'. Argue with the wall.
He then has a whole section on Nick Cantu and let me make this clear - Nick being a violent asshole has nothing to do with Dream's behavior or the allegations so I don't care and I do in fact think he focused on it to make himself look better.
57:50 - Dream wants to talk about the dangers of swatting and doxxing. You know, his own stans have doxxed people and once endangered a black person by sending police to their house for a welfare check in an area where welfare checks had resulted in black people being murdered by cops. He says that he always condemned this behavior but shows no proof of this. What actions did he directly take to discourage and stop this and help the people his own supporters had hurt? If anyone has receipts on anything he's done to help, feel free to show me because he provides no evidence of doing anything and I am really not amused by him skirting around his own community's doxxing of people.
1:00:20 - So here he plays the infamous moaning video in it's entirety but has it muted? I get it's gross but when the audio is the whole point, it seems so useless to play it muted. Just a weird choice but it is easy to find elsewhere.
1:09:28 - Makes another statement here that if something is disproven in court then that means it didn't happen which is blatantly untrue, esp when we're talking about sexual crimes. Very ignorant thing to say and really annoys me with how much he's positioning himself as a champion for victims.
After this Dream does a lot more talking about how people treat victims and it's mostly good stuff but AGAIN this is coming from the guy whose fans have doxxed countless people and who instantly mocked people for caring about serious abuse reports. He never makes this parallel, he never points out that he has undoubtedly done more harm to victims with his bullshit, he just puts himself on a moral high ground and its really obnoxious. I cannot emphasize enough how fucking annoying and self congratulatory this man is holy fuck.
EDIT: Initially I had a point here about how little Dream went into the 24 page document released compiling evidence against him, but I was informed this came out right before the video's release, a day before or on the same day it appears. I thought incorrectly it had come out earlier, I will say I still believe he needs to address this in the future, check my reblog for more details.
1:17:00 - This is a doozy and will be my closing point. Dream spends a bit talking about 'false allegations' and calls it a popular trend, happening to hundreds of online creators. IRL, false allegations for rape are severely exaggerated and, if anything, rape is horribly under reported. Women are significantly more likely to be raped then men are to be 'falsely accused' and, when you factor in how horrible the justice system is towards victims, rape culture, how difficult it can be to prove something like rape and how low the rates of successful convictions are, the truth is that a lot of 'disproven' cases are true and were just brushed aside. Furthermore, all crimes have 'false allegations' yet the only one to ever be discussed is rape because it's an easy out. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that rape has comparatively low rates of 'false allegations' compared to other crimes but idk. I know the internet is different, I know people make up lies all the time but I am NOT fucking keen on how much Dream emphasizes false allegations as a common thing when IRL they are not. I am NOT looking forward to every content creator from now on claiming its just 'false accusations' and people falling for it because their favourite Minecraft YouTube insisted it was an epidemic. I am NOT keen for discussions of victims and rape culture to be dominated by this shit and for victims to continue to be silenced and disbelieved. I think you have to be very, very fucking careful when talking about 'false allegations' and I do not think Dream of all people is remotely capable of giving this the nuance it needs. This is gonna be so fucking unbearable in the future to deal with and every single fandom will latch onto this to brush off potential red flags, I guarantee.
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