#i watched a movie about a female snake demon and went “Maybe this was actually just an autistic woman that was really into snakes irl”

[ablanktechpriest]

How many "demon" stories of old could be explained away with someone just being autistic and into some unusual stuff?

Ok, i know this questions SOUNDS bad but hear me out: Imagine some autistic woman in central asia being really into snakes and everyone thinking "Snakes are evil and demonic! She must be possessed by a demon or a demon herself!" or similiar stuff like that and often around that time maybe the autistic people started buying into that stuff too. I mean, this might also work with the more messed up stuff like someone trying to find out how the body works but due to the limit of their technology it basicly ends up killing most people. It would also explain the reason why demons seemed to be always more knowledgeable compared to normal mortals: Its just hyperfixaction in a time were morals were mostly optional

[just-a-sleepy-idiot]

Valak Imagine: Him seeing you for the first time

Content/Warnings: Nun!Reader, Female!Reader, Blaspemic stuff since it's written out of a demons perspective after all, Based of the movie 'The Nun', Major Spoilers for the Nun!!, Kinda soft Valak

He had paced these holy halls so many times, disguised to sow fear in the nuns that lived here- showing them that evil was among them looking like one of their own. He mocked them with this form, and soon enough death had grasped all of them, all up to one last woman.

Valak wished to take over one of their bodies, but he couldn't deny the satisfaction when the last one chose to commit one of the worst sins the Bible knew, taking her life rather than letting him take over her mortal existence. He thought it was quite funny, to see one of gods devote believers choosing to do this to oppose a demon. He wondered which outcome would have taken on worse judgement- taking her own life or letting her precious little body get taken over by a demon?

He already waited, yearned for others to come which they eventually would. Toying with their sanity and their beliefs, he already felt the arrival of two devote believers coming close.

Eventually you were here- first a priest, and Valak could look deep into his heart and see his guilt haunting him, guilt that the demon would use to torment him later on- this priest and you.

You were wearing a dress, but you might as well have worn the white robes because you emitted something.. pure. No human was ever fully pure, not like they wanted to be, and you too had your yearnings and troubles of course but he saw purity because you were fully aware of them and faced yourself with clarity and judgement.

You weren't a blind follower of the book, driven by blindness, guilt or foolishness.

Valak huffed in contempt, instantly feeling how the opposing nature of his origin and your devotion was stirring up inside of him. Like magnets, wanting to draw each other away.

You stayed now for two nights, and he had already begun playing his schemes with the priest but you.. he still only.. watched. He still only observed you, and he wasn't sure why he was so hesitant.

You were only a mortal after all, you would tremble at the mere sight of him. He felt no fear, so maybe it was.. curiosity?

His demonic nature longed to corrupt you, to teach you fear and see you scream like the other nuns. He was the defiler, the profane, the Marquie of snakes. He wanted to mock and corrupt and watch the ones who serve god crumble in their beliefs.

So why did he keep his distance with you?

A few days went by, and both you and the priest slowly begun to understand what had happened here and how it was tied to the evil that was roaming this place.

Valak had shown you images of the nuns that lived here, and you were believing everything as if it was actually happening. He watched you interact with your environment and with the shadows of the ones that were gone already.

And one day he decided to show himself. Looking like the nun he chose to torment the others with but a little.. softer, a little bit more disarming. With features that he guessed would invoke trust from humans.

When he approached you, you felt someone looking at you without hearing a single step. When you turned around, you were met with green eyes and looked up to a tall nun. There was something strangely.. intense about her, yet you had a feeling like you could feel safe despite of that.

"How do you like it here so far?" How long has it been since he had used words of the human world..

"I like it a lot. I've been treated very well here, the only thing that worries me is the wellbeing of Father Burke. He had horrifying things happening to him."

Valak suppressed a smile, yes he did indeed. "I see."

He continued on talking to you, spying on what it was that a nun like you was thinking by conversing with you.

"Have you been taught about demons, Sister Y/n?"

This question.. had something off-putting, as if you felt like despite her calm and cool expression she was very interested in whatever you might say next.

"Of course, Sister Val." You fumbled with your hands, "Although none of my fellow sisters ever seemed to really take matters of evil very seriously." They concentrated so much on the good that they didn't seem to take the bad forces in the world seriously. They felt too secure.

Valak knew how easily everyone wanted to forget what was waiting outside of their churches, their holy little homes that they felt so safe in. "And what do you think of them?"

You looked up into the green eyes of the tall woman, frowning at that question. No one ever asked about.. an opinion of these things, because it was taught that everything unholy like the creatures of hell were bad and there was no other way to see them.

"The forces of god as well as those of evil are constantly opposing each other. They are bad, they are destructive and against every living being." Your gaze dropped, "But.. I think that is part of the balance, the way it naturally has to be. Of course we have to fight evil, but I don't think just like evil neither does good is supposed to win. And therefore demons are.. just like us," you looked up again and smiled shyly, "something like soldiers?"

Valak stared at you without saying a word.

Just like them?! No, no you were just a mortal, just a flesh puppet. He was above the pity skills of gods creation! There was no way you were alike.

How strange it was to be thinking that while he literally looked like one of them, using the human tongue to communicate and observing this woman instead of following the unholy urges of destruction that were given to his very existence.

And suddenly, you were pressed against the wall, held high up by the nun who's expression now cruelly turned into something demonic. You gasped, unable to look away as he growled darkly at you. He was done playing, he should just snap your neck right there.

But.. he didn't- he couldn't! The demon growled in frustration, harshly pressing you against the wall even more before suddenly letting you go.

"Your foolish beliefs will not earn his favor, little one. You should go back to blindly being his devoted sheep."

You hurried to stand up again, leaning against the wall for stability after your fall with rapid breathing. The green eyes now begun to glow, almost like gold, and Valak loomed over you.

"Leave, leave and send someone as blind as the others, you are not amusing anymore."

You begun to run, candles lit along your way and blew out after you passed. You looked back as you sprinted through the stone corridor and saw the outline of a horned figure watching you go.

You were carrying a forbidden truth with you, something that he did not wish to defy. He wanted you to live, he wanted this truth to blossom within you. Maybe it would corrupt you.. but maybe it would make you even surpass all the others.

Valak would find a way to cross paths with you again.

- - -

I hope you liked it! If you are offended by the religious stuff please know that this is based off a movie and what is written in here is fiction and not a reflection of my actual beliefs so pls don't rage in my comments

[marnie1964]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

i'm gonna consider myself tagged

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.

*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.

my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.

also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!

Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)

Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!

i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.

from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).

it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.

(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)

What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?

better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.

(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)

Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘

[zoud]

Not So Green With Envy

Beetlejuice x Reader

Word count: 2,675 / Warnings: bondage but no sex, abandonment, angst

____________________________

You and Beetlejuice were not dating. He made that fact very clear to you every time you even thought to use the "b" word (boyfriend) around him, once going as far as to snap your mouth shut with a bit of demonic flare that had your guts coiled tighter than a set spring. 

     It didn't bother you enough to cut off the relationship, however. 

     Beetlejuice liked you, and you liked him; at least in a sense perhaps more complicated than the typical mutual reception of romantic feelings, given how he responded to titles. You could come home from a long day and say his name in the same cadence as any familiar mantra is said, and he would hang out with you, watch a movie, eat pizza, and/or roughly pin you against any and all surfaces in the apartment. For him, you supposed, it was all fun and games; low risk, high reward. 

     But you wanted something more than that. He might have an eternity to blow, but you had just graduated college and your life wasn't exactly set on a path ad infinitum. It didn't feel so wrong, then, to accept the pitch of a blind date from a coworker—to search for something more sustainable in the long term. That was how you ended up with date plans on a Wednesday night, with work in the morning, and Beetlejuice angrier than the time you threw his suit jacket in with the wash and "ruined its vintage feel." 

     You and your mysterious date were set to meet up at eight o'clock that evening in front of a local movie theater, and you arrived at a quarter 'til.

     Sitting on a bench outside while waiting, you rubbed the sore circle around your wrist where Beetlejuice had grabbed as you tried to leave. It was impossible not to notice how upset he was about the prospect of your date, but he was upset by a lot of things and you knew if the date didn't go too well he would still be home for you to return to. It wasn't fair for him to be upset, anyways. He had gone to great lengths to make it clear he "couldn't be tied down," but all that meant to you was there were some cracks in your relationship he felt the need to fill elsewhere. 

     You slouched on the bench and rested your chin in your hand, elbow propped against your knee. The date had seemed like a good idea, you had fought for it, but now that you were actually here, the static buzz of anticipation had dulled into stale acknowledgement. You checked the time, 8:05, and wondered how much of tonight was just you trying to get petty revenge. If you weren't enough for him, then why should he be enough for you? 

     "Hello?" You shot up, startled, and the man in front of you tensed. "Oh, sorry; I thought you might've been my blind date."

     You smoothed out your top and laughed in a way you hoped was apologetic. Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you blinked slowly and looked up to meet the man's eyes. 

     "Adrian? It's nice to meet you! You didn't make a mistake, don't worry, I guess I just zoned out."

    He smiled and nodded once, seemingly in contemplation, before turning and walking into the theater. You were surprised he hadn't wanted to chat a bit more, but he was a little late and the movie was going to start soon. Instead of dwelling, you followed suit inside, a little put off as the door nearly closed on you.

     The movie was loud and boring, an action flick that felt more like an attempt to make money than contribute anything culturally significant or genuinely entertaining to the franchise. Still, you kept your eyes on the screen, choosing not to fight your brain when it tried to carry you away. 

     You wondered what Beetlejuice was up to. After he had grabbed your wrist, which you were back to rubbing idly, you had sent him away to make your life a little easier. He had mentioned a sort of other world he lives in sometimes, boasting proudly about dual-citizenship and green cards, but all you knew for sure was that wherever that was, it wasn't here; as your date made a snide comment about one of the female leads, you sort of wished it were.

     The movie ended about an hour too late and it was clear your date disagreed. He seemed to have enjoyed the movie well enough, but was having even more fun complaining about aspects of it you would never care to notice. 

     "-and what was with that girls outfit?" he droned on, "What's the point of casting attractive actresses and then making them cover up all the things that make them attractive. Like, seriously, she was in jeans half the movie."

      You looked down and your outfit uncomfortably, running a hand absentmindedly against the blue denim of your own jeans. Adrian might've noticed, but didn't say anything about it. 

     "Well it's getting late, I should probably get home soon," you said, taking out your phone to check the time so you wouldn't have to look at him while you said it. 

     "Oh?" He was smiling now, somewhere between happy and unsettling. "I should walk you; it isn't safe for a fine young lady to walk home alone." 

     One hand grazed your upper arms and the other went straight to your ass, which you shifted quickly away from. He couldn't possibly be serious, and you gave him a dubious look that hopefully said as much. For as thick as Adrian seemed, he caught on quick, if his anger meant anything. 

     "Oh, seriously? I should've known you were a prude." He was sneering now, leaning over you as if to emphasize the height advantage. "I should've left the second I saw you. All I was looking for was a good lay, and what? You seriously expected a guy like me to be interested in you for anything else? Wake up, bitch." 

     With that, he stalked away. 

     You didn't remember the walk home by the time you got to your apartment door, and you counted yourself lucky for it. Your date might've been a misogynistic asshole, but he was right about one thing—the door clicked when you locked it, and your bed squeaked beneath the weight of your back—you really weren't good for anything but a quick lay. 

     Your eyes stung, but the pain was dry, and although your uneven breathing suggested otherwise it was easy to tell yourself that you weren't bothered; to dismiss the guy as just another asshole in a too-small town. Still, your ego writhed as it shrunk, and you weren't in the mood to contemplate how worthless a single comment could make you feel. Instead, you rubbed your eyes a little too hard and opened your mouth to speak.

     "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

     And with that, he appeared. 

     His hair was darker than you would've liked, a little on the brown side as red mixed with green and created a murky swamp of obvious discontent. You did your best to ignore the pit in your stomach as he looked down at you with a deep frown. 

     "Hey, Beej," you tried weakly, only a little surprised by the cold greeting, more so by the silence. 

     "How was your 'date'?" He spat, choking out the word as if it were a damnation aimed in your direction.

     "Fine," you brushed off, not wanting to admit that maybe he was right, maybe had been all along. "How was your night?" 

     Beetlejuice climbed into bed with you and planted a knee on either side of your torso. He licked his lips as he leaned down to graze your ear. 

     "Better now." 

     You smiled a little, relieved he wasn't giving you the silent treatment or putting a hole through your wall. Still, red peppered the tips of his hair and you tentatively reached up to touch it. 

    "Ah, ah," he grabbed your wrist again, action a little too rough to match the soft manner in which he scolded you, and with even less care, yanked the wrist up to your bed frame. 

     "Beej-?" you began to question, tugging gently at his grip, more to test the strength then try and escape. Iron-clad. You gulped. 

     He laughed and snapped with his free hand; suddenly you were bound to the bed, hands high above your head. It wasn't the first time, but you still struggled a bit.

    "I don't know if-"

     He cut you off with his lips over yours, licking a small stripe across your bottom lip. 

     "Come on, babes," his voice was low; measured and calm in a way that felt exceedingly unfamiliar. "Trust me." 

     It was silent for a minute. You tried to think, but your brain was radio static. If it really was all you're good for, there wasn't much to lose. You nodded. 

     Suddenly, your feet were spread apart and given the same treatment as your hands, stretching you near the full length of your bed. Beetlejuice still looked above you, the calculated smile he wore increasingly disconcerting as time went on. You tugged at the restraints again. They had no give to them, taut even as you shifted. They were metal, a realization you made rather quickly, the cold surface unforgiving as it bit into your skin. You stopped wriggling and returned your attention to Beetlejuice.

     "You look amazing tied up like that babes," his voice was raspy—even more than normal. He pulled two strips of cloth out from his jacket and you probably would've been impressed by their cleanliness were you not preoccupied. He snaked the fabric under your head and brought the strips around, one at a time.

     The first piece went around your mouth, friction mildly uncomfortable against your chapped lips. He kissed you through the fabric and laughed when you tried to reciprocate. The sound brought some semblance of comfort, and you didn't fight it when the second strip was tied over your eyes. 

     The last thing you saw as Beetlejuice finished the knot was red hair. 

     Your bed shifted as Beetlejuice stood up from it, mattress groaning until it had the opportunity to settle out again. What felt like a couple minutes passed silently, and you strained to hear the demon breathe. It seemed, however, he was deciding not to. 

     Thinking you had been left alone, your heartbeat quickened and suddenly being tied up wasn't quite so bearable. You tried to take a deep breath and calm yourself, but the cloth restricted your breathing just enough as to make it uncomfortable.

     "I know babes," you heard a mockingly happy voice announce from across the room. "I don't like being hung out to dry either."

      Panic quelled in your chest as your bedroom door clicked shut, breath quickening to the point of burying an ache deep in your lungs, dry and scratchy as you inhaled the lingering dust ingrained in the fabric against your mouth. You rubbed hard at the restraints, knowing full well they wouldn't give in for you, not if Beetlejuice wanted them to stay in place. 

     The metal wasn't quite so cold anymore, having sucked warmth from your body to heat the surface, but it bit all the same. You stilled your wrists to prevent the skin from actually breaking, eyes moving rapidly from behind the blindfold. 

     You should've known better than to expect anything else. The man you summoned today wasn't the Beetlejuice you knew, at least, not a part of him that you had ever met before. You had seen him mad, hair fiery red and practically glowing with the heat emitting from his usually cold body, seen him scream and shatter mirrors, punch holes in walls and leave singed footprints in your carpet that smell like burned fiber and sulfur. You had gotten the silent treatment before, only once, when you hadn't summoned him for a week because of final exams, wanting to give you a taste of how it felt to be ignored. But not anything like this.

     Realization dawned on you and settled as an additional weight against your stomach that only made it harder to breath. That's what he had meant; left out to dry. Tears gathered in your eyes and dampened the fabric against them. You wanted to be angrier, but this really was your fault, wasn't it? You left him alone, trapped wherever the hell he was, and he was only returning the favor. 

     It was getting hard to stay awake, exhaustion and panic blending into a sickening paste that caught in your throat and had lights dancing in your vision: or lack thereof. 

     The last thing you remember thinking before passing out was whether restricting your breathing was accidental, or just another part of him showing you how he feels. 

     Waking up didn't dawn an acceptance for your situation, but rather renewed the initial panic of being bound and abandoned.

     You woke with a start and tried to shoot into a sitting position, but succeeded only in tugging your shoulder so hard it might as well have dislocated. You screamed in pain and shock from behind the gag and gave another sharp tug at the metal cuffs stupidly, as if it proved anything. The metal was almost slick now from your sweat, near hot to the touch, and you wondered helplessly if you could slip out. 

     Trying to remain otherwise still and failing miserably, you pulled hard on the arm that didn't quite hurt so much, nearly sobbing in relief when you felt the smallest hint of give around your hand. Slowly, painfully, you worked your hand out, moving carefully until the metal decided to bite back. 

     A particularly sharp edge sunk its teeth into your hand, pinching the skin back and tearing it messily. You made another sound, quieter still as adrenaline pumped through your body and made the pain bearable. Blood—slick like motor oil and equally metallic—dripped from the cut and to your morbid delight, allowed you to slip your hand free easily. 

      

     Just as soon as your hand was free, you heard your door fly open and slam into the wall. You heard drywall break and pieces of it fall back into the hidden space between rooms. You heard breathing, labored and panicked, and genuinely struggled to tell whether it was yours. 

     God, Beetlejuice was mad wasn't he? He had set up a punishment for you, drastic and over dramatic as it was, and caught you in the act of breaking free. You quaked against your mattress, free hand dripping and shoulder aching, tears soaking through the blindfold. You heard footsteps approach quickly, tensing before a thud sounded next to your bed. 

     Suddenly, hands were working at the fabric around your head and you could breathe again. You gasped for a full breath of air and a moment later you could see. 

     

     Beetlejuice was on his knees beside your bed, pale as snow and hair so blue it was practically black, deep like the jagged chasms lining the ocean floor. You screwed your eyes shut, the dawn blue light filtering in through the window too much for your eyes. The bed sunk with a sudden excess of additional weight and as a snap sounded, your tense limbs sagged bonelessly onto the mattress for the first time in hours. 

     "...babes?" 

     You opened your eyes, and hated yourself for being relieved his hair was still blue. The demon shifted so he was straddling you, all gentleness and caution until you flinched away from him. Beetlejuice laughed; an awful, watery sound. He looked at your wrists, skin red and angry, then at your blood-slick hand.

     "Oh, I've really fucked up this time, haven't I doll?" He shifted a little further away but didn't get off the bed. From how he was looking at you, it might've been impossible for him to do otherwise. 

     You cradled your bloody hand close to your chest and saw the Beetlejuice you knew sitting close enough to touch, though you'd never quite felt further away. 

     He was on his knees now, taller than you but not towering, and clearly at a loss for what to do. It was silent, but only for a minute.

     "I could smell him on you."

     You smiled weakly. Your shoulder didn't ache quite so much any more and although the adrenaline was wearing off, your hand didn't hurt unbearably. Looking at the cut, it really wasn't all too bad, not enough to need stitches anyways. You scooted closer to the wall your bed was pushed up against and patted the spot next to you. 

     The demon didn't miss a beat. He was beside you in an instant, dirty hand hovering just above your uninjured one. He cleared his throat and moved to place it next to yours on the mattress.

     You forced yourself to lean into him a little, let him know it was okay, but it was obvious he could feel how tense you were. 

     "It's okay that you don't want to date me," you whispered, trying to keep dejection from leaking into your tone.

     He didn't respond verbally, instead sitting up straight and stiff like a soldier called to attention. With a sigh, you lay back a bit more, relaxing into the demon's side. 

     "I wouldn't want to date me either." 

     Getting pulled fully into his chest wasn't a memory you had as much as the knowledge that it must've happened given how you were suddenly sat in between his legs. 

     "Babes, you know I don't hate you, right?" 

     Instead of responding, you looked dubiously at the bright red rings around your wrists and tried to ignore how you shoulder twitched. Feeling defeated, you let your forehead fall against Beetlejuice's chest and took an uneven breath. 

     "Yeah," he mumbled into your scalp, letting his chin rest atop your head. "I guess I'm not making too good a case for myself, am I?" His tone lifted at the end as if to imply a joke, but his voice shook with sincerity. "I wanted you to know what it felt like to get left behind. I guess I was hoping you'd see how bad it was and…" 

     He trailed off and you mumbled into his chest, "And never do it to you again?"

     Beetlejuice pulled back a bit, separating your head from his chest, and took hold of your chin. The move wasn't quite so suave, rough around the edges and a little awkward because of your position, but he craned his neck and kissed you anyways.

     "You're too good for me, ya know that?" 

     Feeling a little less uneasy, exhaustion began to nibble at the edges of your consciousness. You tried to kiss him again, but missed just so and caught instead the corner of his lips. 

     "More than a fucktoy?" 

     If you were thinking a little clearer, those words wouldn't have left your lips. You wouldn't have seen Beetlejuice look down at you with shock scrawled around his widened eyes or the guilt and concern that creased the space in between his brows. For a second, you thought your slip up would be the start of a conversation you absolutely didn't want to have right now, and relief flooded your body when instead of taking the comment and running with it, the demon just curled around you a little tighter. 

     "Of course, doll," he mumbled softly. "More than that. Always." 

      You fell asleep soon after, and the last thing you remember thinking was how badly you missed when his green hair.

[c-atm]

Halloween tradition

Welcome, hunters! Defenders! Protectors! Human and not! Singled and partnered! Welcome to the Halloween Hunter Horde!" The master of ceremonies, a large, snow skinned person dressed in a ringmaster attire, yelled from their balcony perch to the crowd below, getting cheers and lift of wine glasses in their honor.

As was the tradition of the 'Hunters Horde.'

An annual party for hunters by the 'powers that be,' as the hunters recognized them. Truthfully, they were those who provided hunters help and assistance through various means.

Shops to exchange gems for standard currency, buy gear and accessories, and even buy domestic items. They provided information on hunts, places for hunters to exchange information, and settled disputes, and every year they did this.

Why?

Demon hunting is a lucrative business.

For the 'powers that be.'

Dressed in a purple-and-red, tattered coat with a frilly shirt, pink vest, pair of black pants, leather boots with metal soles and toes, a pair of gloves, a diamond necklace; Steven sighed as he looked at the drink in his hand, a cranberry wine, very sweet and tangy, the velvet red color was pleasing to the eye, but it wasn't his taste. Symbolic of his feelings towards this event.

There are a million things he wished he could be doing right now. All involving his firey mistress right now. Hunting with her, trick-or-treating with her, which was fun last year, dressed as Mirai Kuriyama and him, Akihito Kanbara from beyond the boundary.

"Simply adorable, she was." He mused, thinking of how excited she was to do something so child-like. How her face glowed with pride every time they were stopped for a picture or got a statement on how cute their couple cosplay was. The times when she acted in character, reciting the characters' infamous 'unpleasant' line as she adjusted her red frame glasses. She was entirely in character that year...a little to perfect.

"Still cannot believe she learned a bit of enchanting magic to create a blood blade," He muttered with a loving smile, "though she's also done one who learned demon transformation magic, so in retrospect maybe it's not insane." He shook his head; he was talking to himself, literally as violet was out on the floor, either watching and dancing with Ames or about to cause havoc with Ames. Either would be fine at this moment.

"Where is she?" He wondered as he looked around the room of their peers, hoping to see if his lady was still present, as she arrived before him from her day job or if she completely bailed and went home, leaving him alone in this...Networking event.

"No...she's still here. Just hard to tell with these senses diluting glyphs in place." Steven whispered, but he still felt her presence in the manor, scattered but there. 'Concerning in a way. Though, doubt anyone here would do anything that might put them in opposition with the 'powers that be.'' Steven thought to himself.

Still, he was expecting more... chaotic entertainment with a name like a hunter's hoard, so far everyone was tamed-chatting, dancing...info gathering.

"Well, if it isn't the flames witch's devil." A female voice said from the left of him.

He turned his head to see a demon hunter that they've come across a few times. Snow blonde hair, dark skin, voluptuous form dressed as a sexy witch, a small split skirt, tight corset top, purple silk cape, and black witches hat.

"Sarah did your 'nun' drag you here as well," Steven smirked as the witch nodded with a sigh.

"Yup, my sweet demoness thought it would be fun, plus networking is my forte, supposedly." She rolled her eyes while crossing her arms.

"Aren't you the top manager in an electronic insurance firm?"

"Aren't you a bisexual in a seemingly heterosexual relationship."

"Well, damn, who shit in your wine." Steven yielded with his hands up.

"No, I'm sorry." She sighed, "Just being here and not being able to feel Alicia's presence....Being so close to... ' Them.'

Steven nodded. He got it; the 'powers that be' are strangely intimidating, especially since no one knows precisely who they are...That, coupled with the sense dampening spell, would put any right partner on edge.

"Did you come with Alicia?"

"Strange question." Sarah arched her eyebrow, " but yeah...Of course."

"Hmmph. Well, at least you saw your partner."

Sarah's eyes widened at that before she smirked. "You didn't see trailblazer , huh..or what she was wearing."

"You have?" Steven took a sip of wine.

"Oh yeah." She tittered, "Actually, her and Alicia were sticking close to each other, talking with some other hunters."

Steven released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He was more relaxed now that he knew she was at least with a trusted ally. A demoness, yes, but Alicia's a fan of his firey lady and has been one since the azurite case; Where she saved the duo and a few others from a very oppressive spell. She's even the one that dubbed her 'trailblazer' for her aptitude with fire magic and her fierce attitude.

"So... How does my lady look?" His curiosity and enthusiasm in his voice.

"I can not say when you sound so ecstatic. It's like spoiling the climax of a movie."

"Fine, fine. I'll let myself be surprised. Can you at least tell me where you last saw her?"

Sarah was about to point left when it all happened. A body sailed across the sky, above the crowd, landing right between the two hunters.

Looking down, they saw the body was that a man with tan skin, a deep brown comb-over, and a broken, singed nose and cheek, dressed as speed racer; he groaned before losing consciousness.

"Where is that grabby little snake!"

A voice yelled within the crowd, a familiar voice.

A fiery voice.

Steven smiled as he watched the crowd all but part to give room to his blazing contractee as she marched her way through towards her victim and assailant, and his jaw dropped when he saw her.

She was dressed in a steampunk styled costume her consists of a purple and red-trimmed leotard with matching hot pants, a deep blue pleated skirt, black thigh-high socks, white boots, a pair of red mid-finger gloves, a headband, a pink diamond barrette, and ribbon around a lock of her hair. The costume, while not revealing, showed all her curves and brought both her charm and charisma to the surface.

"My Connie." He expressed in a daze getting her attention.

"Steven?" Her eyes expanded as she saw her partner, instantly forgetting the handsy little perv, in favor of her beloved demon embrace. Laughing as his hands found themselves at the curve of her back and her palms found his shoulder blades as she kisses his gem under his shirt. Getting a small shiver of appreciation.

She climbed out his arms, reluctantly to take a look at her partner in his outfit." So it's a costume party, and you came as a demon?" She teased, "a little on the nose there, don't you think."

"Ah, but you see, I'm now a love demon, all for you," he whispered, pulling her back into his hold.

"You gotta show me your credentials, later then."

She giggled, feeling his gentle lips on her shoulder. "So, you didn't say anything about my alchemist costume." She mumbled into his ear.

"Do I have to say how bewitching and tempting you are?" He teasingly admitted as he kissed her blushing cheeks.

"You just did, silly " She sighed, holding him close. She turned to Sarah and pointed toward the crowd, "Alicia's near the punch."

Sarah gave the two a grin before disappearing into the sea of people, leaving the two of them alone.

"So, having fun?" Steven asked, against her collar.

"Yea, it's been a blast." She started sarcastically, "talking shop, exchanging war stories and info about demons sighting called 'slashers'..." She sighed, "all while having people gawk at me with lewd eyes." She huffed.

"Well, you can't blame them. You make such an alluring alchemist." He moved his lips to her ear, "you'd have willing volunteers to experiment all across the land." His teasing cold breath tickled her ear, causing her to giggle.

[[More*]]

"Oh! no doubt," she carried on their play, nuzzling close. "Unfortunately, I have such a terrifying territorial terror as my partner. You'd chase them all away." She clicked her tongue in faux reprimand, kissing his temple. "Scientific succession stopped by my stingy Steven."

"I was yours first. Science can suck it."

"You're mine now."

"I'll be yours forever."

The earnest way he said it made her heart thumped and urged her to give him a tender kiss, humming throughout.

"Can we go somewhere more...Secluded, like.." She nodded her head towards the western wall, where there was a large enough balcony behind two glass doors, and no one was on it. Connie only giggled as Steven scooped her up and moved like a wisp of smoke towards their destination; unseen, and unnoticed by all.

They reappeared on the terrace almost immediately, Steven walking out of the smoke with Connie, still mid-laugh. He sat her down on her feet before watching her walk to the edge and sitting on top of it, facing him. "You'd catch me if I fall, right?"

"Of course, my lady. I am your partner." He smirked devilishly as he glided up to her, resting his hands beside her hips and his torso between her knees. Looking up at her somewhat mischievous face shining in the moonlight. "Are you planning a daring escape?" He teased.

"Actually, I might have...Sort of...Put one into action, already?" She confessed sheepishly.

"Huh?" Steven looked dumbfounded at his love. " What do you mean?"

"You'll find out."

"Does...does it have anything to do with that fool you laid out." He asked.

"Oh, gosh, no!" She exclaimed. "I put this into action, way before he grabbed my and Alicia's butt." She clarified, almost nonchalantly. She pulled him into a hold, feeling the rage from her best friend and partner, "No, we already handled it." She confirmed.

"But he..." Steven began only to be silenced by a small glare.

"It was nothing, my dapper demon. I promise. He touched and was punished for it..." she grimaced" Licia, just about ended his bloodline, if you catch my drift." She said, flexing her fingers as if she was holding something.

"Ooh." Steven breathed out, shaking his head." Still, wished that didn't occur."

"Yeah, cause only you can be perverse with me." She teased.

"Now, is it really perverse when it's with your lover, I prefer, intimate." He spoke in that devilishly dapper tongue that used to (and still at times) make her a blushing mess.

Connie, red face and eyes glowing by another emotional heat, chuckled. "Intimate, huh?" She pulled him closer.

"Yup." he rested his head on hers. "My actions are based on my love for you, my flame ."

"I never doubted that, my gem .." She chuckled. "Speaking of intimate...How long are you gonna keep your lady waiting?"

Steven didn't need anymore coaxing as they shared a deep kiss. Her hand holding his cheek, as he held her seat, her hot tongue twist, caress, and danced with his cooler one, creating a moment of warming love between the two. However, anyone else would see a small purple heart of flame around them.

Then a crash resounded from the inside along with the yells and laughter of Violet and Ames, causing general chaos.

"That's -chu- your -chu- plan?" He smirked through their kiss.

"Um -chu- hm !" She nodded, "let's go get us some candy -chu- get us a demon -chu- get a little hurt, -chu- and then spend the night dressing each other wounds, love demon. "

"Now, That's a plan fit for an alchemist." Steven said, deepening the kiss. " -CHU!- I missed you."

"I missed you too...Nothing like being able to sense you." She sighed as the kiss gain more depth.

-CRASH!-

" Let's not waste their hard work."

Steven smirked as he lifted his lady from the railing holding her in his arms, resuming their kiss as they sank into the sweet shadows that filled their flaming heart.

Off to spend their Halloween, their way.

---------;;;

For @meku95 Halloween contest

[spookysweet-heart]

A Spooky Night With You

Request: “You're like my new writing hero. Maybe planning/spending Halloween with Lydia, please? Like, if you'll do matching costumes and what they are, what you'll do together the night of (movie night, party, school dance, whatever you think would work for you best honestly), things like that? Preferably for a female reader?”

Pairings: Lydia Deetz x Fem!Reader

Fandom: Beetlejuice! The Musical!

Warnings: None

A/n: Let’s kick off this spooky season on this blog with something scary(ish), something sweet, and pretty gay. Hope you all like it! (Collage was made by me!)

      “(Y/n), C’mon we’re gonna be late!” Lydia shouted up to your bedroom window.

Popping your head out your window you looked down at your girlfriend and waved off her concern. “I just need to get my bag and I’ll be right down!!”

Ducking back into your room you double-check your face paint one more time and grab your bag rushing down the staircase. Giving your parents a quick wave goodbye you bolt right out the door smiling wide when you look over at Lydia wearing her black and white outfit and matching Skull make up. She decided to do her whole face while you only did half of yours. 

Lydia held up her finger, as you got closer to her you held up yours and intwined your fingers together like a pinkie promise. Smiling at each other you couldn’t help but giggle at how silly the act was, You couldn’t help it either since you two agreed to do that instead of actually giving each other kisses while you both were wearing facepaint.

Taking her hand in yours you two started to walk to school. It was pretty fun walking by the little kids when they would look over at the two of you with amazement and sometimes terror in their eyes.

Once getting into the school you two looked around at everyone’s costumes and complimented some of them while getting compliments on your own.

The day went on as usual and nothing out of the ordinary. So it was pretty nice to just see everyone being spooky and having fun. Especially Lydia, You know Halloween is her favorite Holiday and seeing her light up at everything creepy and spooky was so cute since it was rare the rest of the year.

At the end of the day, you were hanging around Lydia’s locker when someone came up to the two of you. “Hey, are two going to Amys Halloween party tonight?”

Lydia smiled and shook her head. “No, we’re gonna be giving out candy at my house.”

“Your house? Isn’t it haunted? Are sure any kids would show up?”

“I’m pretty sure they will, kids love all spooky things so why not get a thrill of going to an actual haunted house?”

“That’s true...maybe we’ll stop by before to party for a bit if that’s okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine. We’ll see you later then.”

You both waved goodbye to them as they did the same while walking out of school.

You look over at Lydia and raise an eyebrow at her. “Are you really sure it’s okay for them to stop by? I thought you never wanted anyone else from school at your house?”

“It’s Halloween, might as well let Beej have some fun too right?” Lydia gave you a knowing smile and took your hand leading you out of the school, and on the path to her place.

---------

Setting up the two huge bowls of candy on the two chairs on Lydia’s porch, you were quick to slap Beetlejuice’s hand away from the bowls. “Why do you want any of the candy? You can’t even eat it anyway.”

“Just because I can’t really eat doesn’t mean I can’t taste it (Y/n).” Beetlejuice placed his hand on his hips trying to intimidate you. 

“Yeah, no. why did you want the candy?”

“...I wanted to chuck it at the kids nearby.”

You sighed and shook your head. “You can do that with the last of the candy at the end of the night, not in the beginning.”

“Fiiine.” BJ grumbled and floated back into the house passing Lydia as she was walking out.

“Is he still bummed about not being able to do anything till it’s actually nightfall?” She looked over at you while you fix one of the scarecrows. 

“Yeah, but you told him about the plan right?”

“Of course, He’s just excited and bummed cause he wants to start now.” Lydia giggled and sat on one of the chairs.

“Should’ve seen him right now. He wanted some of the candy just so he can throw it at some of the kids nearby.”

 Lydia rolled her eyes and shook her head before smiling at all the decorations. “It looks great out here.”

You smiled as you got the scarecrow to stand upright on its own. “How are Adam and Barbara?” You smiled over at Lydia and took a seat next to her.

“They’re doing great, they’re decorating the attic and keeping an eye out for kids so we can be ready.”

“So what did you tell Beej to do when the group comes?”

“I told him to go wild if there are no kids around.” You smiled getting excited to see what will happen later.

Hearing the attic window open you and Lydia looked up to see Adam smiling and waving. You both waved back and he shouted down, “There's kids coming! They’re rounding the corner now!”

“Thanks, Adam!!” Lydia yelled back and grabbed her candy bowl getting ready.

----------

The night went one without a hitch, passing out candy and taking a few pictures with the kids that also had skull costumes.

Most of the candy was gone and it was getting pretty dark. You walked into the house and got your sweaters giving Lydia hers as you sat back down outside with her.

Barbara poked her head out the window smiling at you two. “There’s a group of teens coming our way! Are they your friends?”

“Yeah! They said they were stopping by for a bit!” You smiled up at her as Lydia opened the front door. “Hey Beej! Get ready!!”

In an instant, Beetlejuice was at the door grinning from ear to ear. “This is gonna be so fun!” He giggles and hides in the shadows when he sees the group of teens approaching the house.

“Hey, Lydia, (Y/n). Hows the night going so far?” Hannah, one of the main girls smiled over at the two of you.

“Good! The night has been pretty good. We’ve had a bunch of kids come by so far.” You smiled back at her and waved to the rest of the group. 

One of the other girls smiled back and asked. “So everyone here knows your house is allegedly haunted.”

“It is.”

“It just kinda looks creepy. If there are ghosts here can we see them?:”

“I’ll do ya one better girly. How about a demon?” BJ was suddenly by the girl's side causing her to scream.

One of the other girls raised an eyebrow. “You’re probably just some creep in a costume.”

“Costume? I’ll have you know these are my actual clothes.”

“We should get going…we’re going to be late for the party”

Beetlejuice smiled at the girl who was genuinely scared. “So soon? I thought you girls would wanna come hang out with us. I hoped you wouldn’t mind that I brought a couple of friends with me.”

“F-friends?”

“Fellas...It’s Showtime!” with the snap of his fingers, Beetlejuice took out all the lights as purple and green replaced the bright yellow ones. The girls felt strange like they were being surrounded, Shadows popped up around them only to be revealed as clones of the first man.

“Wh-whats happening?!” Shrieks and screams could be heard but Beetlejuice wasn’t done yet.

“Don’t go away just yet girls! You haven’t even said hello to our dear friend Sandy!” With a motion of his hand, the girls looked into the doorway and they were shocked to see a giant black and white snake slither its way to them.

Frozen and shaking each girl held on to one another for dear life. One gasped as the snake lifted her head above them. There was a pause, pure silence. None of the girls dared to move. Beetlejuice gave Sandy a wink and that signaled for the Snake to open it’s mouth revealing rows of teeth and little Sandy inside hissing at the group causing them to scream at the top of their lungs and bolt out of there as fast as they could.

Beetlejuice and his clones laugh in unison until in a flash they’re gone leaving you and Lydia bursting with laughter in your seats petting Sandy. Beetlejuice goes over and takes a few candies from one of the bowls making his way inside. “Thanks, Lyds, that was amazing!” 

Sandy slithered back into the house. You and Lydia stayed outside a bit more just admiring the night sky and enjoying the cold air.

“We still have some candy in this bowl.” Lydia smiles and sakes the bowl a bit. “Let’s go get rid of the paint and we can go watch some scary movies in my room for the rest of the night.”

“Please! I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day!”

Lydia giggles as she stands up and takes your hand in hers leading back into the house being careful not to knock over the jack-o-lanterns you two made the day before.

---------

Sighing as you and Lydia settle into her room after cleaning your faces you make yourself comfortable in her bed. Lydia lights a few of her candles, one being a scented candle to fill the room with a pumpkin scent.

Lydia blows out her match and leaves on her desk for it to cool off before she throws it away. “So what should we watch?”

“I was thinking of either Halloween or Trick ‘r Treat, to start us off.”

She smiles as she reached for both movies from her bookshelf. “Looks like we’re watching Halloween first.” putting on the movie Lydia grabbed the bowl of candy and made her way to her bed. “Scoot over babe.”

Scooting a bit closer to the wall you wrapped your arms around Lydia once she got comfortable and turned her face towards you, kissing her and giggling a bit at the fact that she tasted like chocolate.

[tokumusume]

tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1.      Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2.      The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3.      Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4.      Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5.      Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6.      Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7.      Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8.      Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9.      Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10.  The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11.  The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12.  Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1.      River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2.      The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3.      Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4.      Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5.      Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6.      Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7.      Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8.     The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9.      Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1.      The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2.      The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3.      The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4.      Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5.      SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1.      The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2.      Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3.      Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4.      Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5.      Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6.      The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

[diamond-song42]

The Nonsense Thing in Diamond’s Head Today 4: My Favorite Pokemon

*Lusamine header for no reason whatsoever*

Diamond here with another weird thing. To further expand into Pokemon-related topics, I thought I’d teach you a bit about me and direct your attention to my header photo. That is a grid of my favorite Pokemon of each type. Why did I choose those? What significance do they have? You’re about to find out! I will list these in order by type - I have no real order for which ones I like more than others. Let’s get started!

GRASS: SERPERIOR. Serperior is the final form of Snivy, the Gen 5 Grass starter. I pick Serperior for two reasons. First, its Hidden Ability. Contrary is one of the best abilities in the game. Serperior uses it masterfully. It has access to Leaf Storm, a move that usually lowers the user’s Special Attack. But with a Contrary Pokemon, that Special Attack is going straight up. Yes, each turn a Contrary Serperior uses Leaf Storm, it will only get stronger. If that’s not fabulous I don’t know what is. Reason 2: It just looks so cool. It’s a 10'10 snake. It could literally kill and eat you. So regal and snaky.

FIRE: INFERNAPE. Infernape, the final form of Gen 4 Fire starter Chimchar. Infernape holds special significance to me. I started my Pokemon journey with Pokemon Diamond, knowing nothing about the game or creatures within. Chimchar was my first. Yes, Chimchar is my equivalent to Ash’s Pikachu, Brock’s Steelix, May’s Blaziken, Dawn’s Piplup, Serena’s Braixen, and Lillie’s Vulpix, Snowy. Infernape and I went through a great journey together and I couldn’t ask for a better partner.

WATER: SHARPEDO/MEGA SHARPEDO. Though Infernape might be my first, Water is in fact my favorite type. Sharpedo, Archie’s partner, wasn’t a Pokemon I gave much thought to until Gen 6. Gen 6 gave it a pretty great boost with a Mega Evolution. There’s a combination I like to use with my Sharpedo. First, I protect it for a turn (or two if I’m lucky) and let its Hidden Ability Speed Boost bulk it up a bit. Then I Mega Evolve it and let Jaws tear up the field. It’s a Pokemon that can use Strong Jaw to its advantage! Not to mention the Mega Evolution is sick. It’s super big and has spikes protruding from its nose. You are not safe. I’m still waiting for a Pokemon parody of Sharknado with Sharpedo. It is my first and favorite choice of Mega.

NORMAL: SILVALLY. Here’s another one falling into the “Cool Looks and Ability” category! It’s Gladion’s best buddy and discount Arceus. The discount Arceus factor is part of my reasoning for choosing it. The other is its utter versatility. All its stats are equal, meaning it has ground as a Physical Attacker, Special Attacker, or maybe both. Its signature move, Multi-Attack, will always be STAB, Memory or not. And have you seen Gladion’s Silvally? So cool.

ELECTRIC: LUXRAY. The electric lion of the Sinnoh region takes this slot. I’ve always liked Luxray’s appearance. That jet black fur with the gleaming eyes is really intimidating. Speaking of Intimidate, it has the ability going for it (even if its stats are trash). Not sold on why you should like Luxray? Look at Clemont’s. He’s so cool. He’s Clemont’s war beast that lights up the field with Electric Terrain and jumps on Ash. “A Campus Reunion” is one of my favorite episodes of X and Y, and Luxray is a big part of that.

PSYCHIC: MEOWSTIC. Oh yes, I am choosing the advanced version of demon spawn cat Espurr for this one. Meowstic has a unique concept in that both genders have different appearances, movesets, and abilities. Females go on the offensive (which is awesome in itself), while males stick to defense. The male sticks out here for me because he has access to Prankster, a great ability that gives priority to status moves such as Swagger, Taunt, and Torment. The female has access to Competitive, which is okay but not as great as Prankster. The male also just looks cooler. The vivid blue with white stripes just feels better to me than vice versa.

FIGHTING: LUCARIO. The Pokemon that helped decode the mystery of Mew! I love Lucario. It has reached the iconic state shared by Pokemon such as Pikachu, Charizard, and Mewtwo. While it may not be the best stat-wise, its character makes up for that. It’s a loyal puppo that can throw Aura Spheres and make bones in its hands. I mained it for a while during Smash. And can I add how cool it is in the anime? Maylene’s Lucario takes no shit from her because it knows she can do better. Cameron may be a pathetic rival, but his Lucario is really tough and relatable (seriously… have you seen it eating ice cream?). Korrina’s Lucario is loyal and truly wants to improve when it can’t control its Mega Evolution. Lucario’s Mega is cool, but underwhelming compared to others. I will always stick with my original Fighting-Steel puppo.

ROCK: LYCANROC MIDNIGHT FORME. In case you didn’t get the hint from my Lucario analysis, I love dogs. Lycanroc is an awesome dog. Three forms, all with different strengths and cool links to the elements. None of them are the most superior in competitive play, but they’ve already become infamous among Pokemon fans. I choose the Midnight Form as my favorite because it’s an awesome rock werewolf. It just looks so cool! It also executes its special Z-Move, Splintered Stormshards, the snazziest. Midday Lycanroc is a standard loyal Poke-doggo, but it doesn’t have the same charm as Midnight Lycanroc for me. Dusk Lycanroc is a fusion between the two, but my OCD will not ignore that blue and red do NOT make green. I’ll battle with my loyal, badass lycanthrope any day!

GROUND: MUDSDALE. THE GORGEOUS HORSIE OF THE ALOLA REGION! The minute I laid my eyes on Mudsdale, I knew it would be awesome. I doubt you’re surprised if you read my content. I love how it’s based on the Clydesdale horse, which can get HUMONGOUS. (Google them!) I’m 5'9 and I could ride this if it was real (unlike Charizard)! Its Stamina ability is superb and has helped kick my ass many times. Plus it has cool dreadlocks! Not to mention its connection to Hapu, a perfect cupcake of a Pokemon character. I fully expect that Pokemon theme park that’s opening in 2020 to have a Mudsdale merry-go-round. I NEED TO RIDE MY PONY.

FLYING: DRIFBLIM. Gen Z, a long time ago when we played with Wiis, we had a game called My Pokemon Ranch. The game allowed you to watch Pokemon up to Gen 4 and transfer your own Pokemon from Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum. You can also visit other people’s ranches, and when you do, a Pokemon close to you follows you. That Pokemon for me was Drifblim. The dopey-looking balloon thing from Gen 4 was glued to my side when I visited my friends. I’m amused that it’s gaining some viability in tournament play now with Tapu Lele and Unburden. My choice is less about the tournament play and more about how a balloon was my best friend in a cheesy Pokemon spin-off.

BUG: SCOLIPEDE. The largest Bug-type in the Pokeverse. I was still a little naive when I got Pokemon Black. Scolipede was one of my first captures in the game and became a staple of my team. I love its design. Most Bug-types are pretty small and don’t intimidate the opponent too much. Scolipede does this. It’s even larger than Buzzwole and Pheromosa! The stats and abilities got a mild boost in Gen 6, with the Attack gaining an additional 10 points and its Hidden Ability becoming Speed Boost. I do believe my wonderful horror movie beast is underrated and should get more appreciation instead of being delegated to an antagonistic role in the anime.

POISON: MAREANIE. James’s latest crush also has a spot in my heart. Mareanie has a wonderful design. A blue and purple color palette that can poison a person with less effort than Nililego. Mareanie and her evolution, Toxapex, have access to two boss abilities, Merciless and Regenerator. Toxapex is cool, but it’s a theory I have with Mareanie that causes the pre-evolution to win me over. If Mareanie can fully wrap herself around James’s giant head, it could wrap around my torso and carry my necessities in its tentacles. It’s a companion and a backpack! Thank God for Mareanie.

DARK: WEAVILE. Another Pokemon I have fond memories of from my Diamond and Pearl days, Weavile is the long-awaited evolution of Sneasel from Gen 4. I caught a Sneasel and played around with her for a while… AND THEN MY NAIVE BUTT LEARNED HOW YOU EVOLVE IT. I patiently waited until it became dark outside and I leveled Sneasel up and BAM WEAVILE. Weavile became one of my most used Pokemon in that game. For tournament play, its stats are actually pretty good, and both its abilities (Pressure and Pickpocket) do damage in different ways. And it just looks so menacing! That’s what a Dark-type should be.

GHOST: MIMIKYU. I mean… what’s not to love about a Pikachu clone? Okay, it’s not a clone in the essence of Pachirisu or Togedemaru. The concept around it is so heartbreaking and creepy and lovable. Unlike most Ghost-types, Mimikyu just wants to be your friend! It’s super powerful, too. Its Disguise ability is amazing and can change the dynamic of a battle in seconds. Its typing also gives it few weaknesses and THREE immunities. And need I mention the Z-Move? It’s the best Z-Move I’ve ever seen. Splintered Stormshards is cool, but you really need to look out for the dreaded Let’s Snuggle Forever. Mimikyu just wants to do its best for you and you should love it.

ICE: ALOLAN VULPIX. Yes, Snowy is in on this! I’ve always loved the Fire-type Vulpix. But when it gained the Ice-type, it became 10 times fluffier! It’s a walking cotton ball! I’m disappointed Build-a-Bear only has the Fire variant because I want to get the Ice variant and hug it and love it and pet it and squeeze it. And y'all know by now how I feel about Lillie and her family. Snowy is so supportive of her! Even though she’s the youngest Pokemon of the main characters, she clearly understands Lillie’s past and trouble with touching Pokemon. She gives Lillie a nice distance while staying close. One of the most supportive Pokemon I’ve ever seen. And I want one as a pet. (Oh yeah and it and its evolution have access to Snow Warning which is also pretty fab.)

STEEL: EXCADRILL. I have a special relationship with the Subterrene Pokemon. The minute I saw Iris’s Excadrill, I wanted to train one. It looks awesome! A badass drill mole with a ‘tude. And it can hold its own in tournament play! Defensively, its typing is awesome. The Steel-type can resist so much and switch into Toxic without fear. It can learn not one, but TWO OHKO moves (Fissure and Horn Drill). And the three abilities it has access to are all great. You could go for pure power with Sand Force, get the upper hand on speed with Sand Rush, or negate abilities like Levitate and Fur Coat with Mold Breaker! Its small size doesn’t do it justice considering how big of a threat it is.

DRAGON: DRAMPA. FALKOR. At least that’s what I thought when I saw Turtonator’s Moon counterpart for the first time. Believe it or not, Falkor actually has some things going for it! Two out of its three possible abilities are amazing. Cloud Nine removes the effects of weather, while Berserk shoots that Special Attack up after HP is halved. Plus, it’s so fluffy! Lana and Mallow playing with this guy gives me all the feels. You do you, Falkor.

FAIRY: PRIMARINA. I end this list by fawning over the final form of our beloved Popplio. I was hesitant as to what the clown seal would evolve into. But this thing just straight-up Neville Longbottomed. It is beautiful! It looks like it came out of a Disney movie. Its battling skills aren’t too shabby, either. Sparkling Aria hits everyone on the field and heals burns for some reason. But it could help heal a partner with Water Absorb or Dry Skin. The Z-Move this can turn into, Oceanic Operetta, just blows my mind with the animation. If you want a reason to use Sparkling Aria, the Z-Move is a good reason. But let’s get to the best part: Its Hidden Ability, Liquid Voice. HYPER VOICE IS WATER NOW. 'Nuff said.

And now you know my favorite Pokemon. My team and I would love a battle sometime. Diamond out!