#i was unfortunately raised by very funny and clever people

[kaurwreck]

the vast majority of jokes that y'all insist are jokes are evidently jokes. but they're the same joke, scraped from surface impressions and regurgitated iteratively. there's humor beneath the outermost layer, too, and you're allowed to be clever, it's not illegal.

[yanderes-galore]

Can you do Mike afton with your prompts 57, 53, and 10? Also can it be romantic?

Sure! I'll see what I can do :) Been a bit since I've done this AU. This is a new take on it.

@okchijt helped me with this so this is mostly their take while I filled in the plot they gave me. Requester wanted FLS AU.

Yandere! FLS! Michael Afton Concept

What is the FLS AU?

Yandere! FLS AU! Michael Afton Prompts 57, 53, and 10

"You're stuck with me, like it or not."

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?"

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Violence, Breaking and entering, Manipulation, Kidnapping implied, Forced relationship implied.

The phone rings on and on as you type away at your keyboard. On screen is an email soon to be sent to your boss, Henry. You were nearly at a breakthrough on an important case.

Incriminating evidence filled the email. Many documents and notes were attached all about two people behind a long list of murders. The case of The Aftons was very important to your employer.

Your job was to play detective. You were meant to work for them at their Pizzeria, collect evidence, then leave. That was it... that was the job.

Then one of them, the son, got attached.

You had a feeling he caught on to you. Even now as you type away and prepare to send Henry your evidence your phone rings. You knew it was him, the voice mails were endless.

You hadn't bothered to listen to them. Instead you focused on your email by putting on the final touches. Then your mouse drifted to the send button...

Only for the power to cut.

You go silent, eyes blown wide and looking at the computer in shock. There wasn't any storms. Did you flip something by accident?

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up? Are you ignoring me?"

The voice echoes from close by and you feel the hair on your skin shoot up. You spin your chair around and search the darkness for answers. Unfortunately... your questions are answered.

Michael stands in the doorway of the room. His posture is confident and he stares at you like you're his newest prey. You can only stare as he blocks your exit.

"Don't you know how much I've done for you?" Michael sighs. "I've been protecting you from my father as I already know your plans. I could've just killed you... but now I like you too much for that."

The man in front of you does a fake pout while leaning in the doorway. The fact he knew everything made your heart drop to your stomach. He's more clever than you thought.

"I've already sacrificed so much by allowing these games to play out. However, this still means I have to prevent you from exposing the family business, y'know?" Michael sighs, playing with your emotions to satiate the sadism within him.

"You're a monster for doing all of this!" You yell at the man. You can see Michael feign shock and surprise before chuckling.

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!" Michael accuses in a playful manner before turning serious. "I could've just killed you, but I'm nice enough to protect you and let you live!"

You quickly stand up to keep distance as Michael walks forward. Despite the situation you manage to keep yourself calm. It's in the line of work, after all. Yet you still find yourself shaking when he gets close to you.

"I've been so patient with you. I think things should go my way for once, shouldn't they?" Michael hums towards you. You try to run around him but he catches you with ease. It's funny to him... did you not think he was an experienced killer?

You feel your chest hit the desk hard as your arms are held behind your back. The resulting impact causes the computer to crash onto the ground, the email and evidence now long destroyed. Panic sets in as struggle and fight against the killer behind you.

Said killer only appears excited by your fate.

"I think it's time you rest, dear. Isn't it getting late?" Michael coos, raising the knife in his hand. You suddenly feel a blunt object smack into your head before your vision darkens.

"You're stuck with me, like it or not." Michael whispers with a giggle before your vision fails you.

[mandy4ever69420]

ikr. Cannot wrap my head around people calling mickey an abuser

it's very like. patently ridiculous as a claim. unfortunately i can wrap my head around how people gain this perspective though i don't agree or even sympathize with it because a lot of what goes on in some of the themes in mickeys plot are exactly what people are prepared to miss -- mickeys existence is here to show you that you cannot be too tough or too clever to be abused, that abuse victims aren't going to be as easy and palatable as you might like, and, crucially, that criminals(!) who actually have committed the crimes for which they're accused are still people. maybe even nice, likable people, that you feel for, that you want to root for

people who know american media know characters with lives LIKE mickey, but they're not as sympathetic! or even if they are, it's some glamorous tragedy mob shit. notable: in a lot of tv, The Mob with money is an edgy cool villain, poor drug dealers are dangerous condemnable and uninteresting.

it's very easy to be an american and see someone standoffish, loud mouthed, violent, and dealing coke, shoplifting, in and out of imprisonment, and dismiss them as being flat out dangerous. people think "criminal" is a moral condemnation. what's especially distressing to me is i see people view juvenile convictions as like, evidence someone's sooo bad because they were even scary and dangerous as a kid. when they're just kids who are being imprisoned. idc what they did, what kind of carceral drivel do you have to be guzzling that that isn't just extremely tragic on its face

^obviously this is all much harsher on little kids of color. the american legal system particularly is built to control and terrify Black people. btw nick season six i love you i'm glad you had carl to offer protectiveness even if just for a minute 💔💔💔 oh i have to go bawl my eyes out. excuse me.

peoples ideas of what abusers and victims should look like are really heavily racialized, show class bigotry, etc. i thought it was kind of a nice touch that sandy's inappropriately older husband who kept showing up where she didn't want to see him looked so clean and put together and skinny and white. this is somewhere shameless missed the mark with mandy's abusive boyfriend. of course though some people let their eyes lead them to dismiss a clean and handsome guy as possibly mistreating a homeless(!) younger(!) lesbian he's married to & instead make weird accusations about her disinterest in raising the kid she had with him at 15(!)

anyway, yeah, mickey is on an emotional hair trigger, he only really "speaks" violence fluently because it's what he's familiar with. this is actually the sort of stuff that leaves childhood abuse survivors extremely vulnerable to DV later in life. especially because of the ways that being considered criminal lead people to disbelieve that they're being abused. he's still kind of a big sweetheart. i do think it's intentional that this is a central theme to mickey. he's also like... charming and funny and good looking. so sometimes people who don't pick up on everything being shown there will grow attached to him & not notice all that. ah c'est la vie

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobody33333333, I finally did it!!!

Alrighty, it has taken me ages to get around to finishing all of this, because of unfortunately unavoidable things, but I am done with the semester now and so ready to spew all of my thoughts on the unsuspecting audience of poor people who follow me.

So, without further ado, I present:

Sophie's Unhinged and Excessively Hyperactive Word-Vomit "Review" of Chapter 11 of S.O.S.

Ooooh, Curtain’s evil villain motivations for tipping the boys off balance is so sinister. It’s interesting, because he is using the same tactics he used on/around Nicholas when they were children. Just. The narrative parallels.

Garrison!!

She’s so funny. Even with all she’s been through, she sees right through Curtain to his theater kid core.

(It’s still really sad, though, because she doesn’t get why he’s trying to get her opinion and he keeps forcing her)

“For someone who was fine bypassing ethical standards to rush their timeline, Curtain still put a ridiculous amount of effort into aesthetics. Not that any of this would matter if his new messengers didn’t adapt to The Whisperer.” It just hits so hard, for some reason. Maybe because you can really understand the difference of perspective between her and Curtain.

Oh!! “psychics or telepaths”, we’re getting somewhere!

It makes a lot of sense that the Whisperer tech would pick that kind of thing up!! That’s so clever, and very much something Garrison would take into account. You are so good at putting these little details into it that give the story so much more dimension and open up a lot more paths for the characters to take.

Lindsey!!! Lindsey gets a part and can do things!! I’m so excited for her :) 

Aaaaand she’s got a crush on Isaac. I can’t believe you’ve gotten me extremely invested in this as soon as I got to that line. She’s so sweet, though! I’m excited to see more of her.

And you can tell Garrison is trying to be nice, even though she’s having a breakdown fifty percent of the time and doesn’t really want to deal with teenagers.

It cracks me up that they made a full model of Reynie. Why. Just, why. Did he leave some of his clothes behind? I feel like it would have been better to make one of Kate. You can’t tell me they looked at Madge and went “Yes. I am certain that Reynie, our resident soft-hearted child who’d probably cry if he saw this bird eat a live mouse, he is the one who will be most in-tune with this child. Not Kate, no. There’s no way that the girl who was raised by a circus would be the one who will volunteer to handle the actual falcon we’re about to send to them”

I’m so proud of Number Two for breaking Madge out of a terrible zoo. 10/10 No Comments, one of the best plot points I’ve seen.

Also, this Madge perspective is so cool! Omniscient narrators don’t always remember that they can do anything, but this was a fantastic usage of it.

She’s trying so hard. Madge has made no mistakes ever she’s beautiful.

MISS PERUMAL YEAH

““Oh, Hello.” replied Nicholas awkwardly, hoping that this woman, who clearly cared about Reynie, wouldn’t notice the newly destroyed dummy that happened to be wearing one of his sweater vests.” Ajasdjgadskjl What even. He’s so silly, but that is certainly not a situation you want to be in with Miss Perumal.

I’ve said it before, but the little descriptions and dialogue tags you add to the lines from the show are so good!!! Just tiny things, like calling her “the woman” and then immediately switching to “Dipika” when she introduces herself make it so incredibly amazing. You don’t have to worry at all about it being “boring” or “redundant” because people have already seen the show.

And now we’re sad again because of Milligan. I love him but he is so full of melancholy right now :( 

I love how you’ve been incorporating Mr. Benedict’s tendency to just adopt every single child into Curtain’s character. He may not be going about it properly, or for the right reasons, but he’s just as inclined to take in (abduct) children as his brother.

Isaac cameo!!

The details in how you explain all of the tech, from the Whisperer to the Waiting Room, is ingenious and thrilling to read and I am loving it!!

It just repeats people’s thoughts!! It’s not really like an AI, more of an echo chamber that can project into people’s minds, that is so neat!

Of course, Reynie is able to distance himself by thinking about Miss Perumal, that is such a good paragraph.

And the Curtain/Nicholas parallels are back again!! He’s such a contradiction; He misses his brother and wants him back, but he also can’t stand when things remind him of Nicholas. Oh boy this man needs so much therapy goodness gracious.

Good job, Reynie for being cautious!!

Oh. Oh no this is one of my least favourite bits it’s just so awkward aaahhhhhhh

“The first thing Number Two had done was quickly search Miss. Perumal’s bags for weapons, which was fine with Dipika, since she knew that Number Two wouldn’t find anything (no one ever did).” This is why she’s one of the best characters ever. I did really like the book version, of course, but I also love the way they changed her into Pink Biker Vigilante Mom.

AAAHHHH YOUR WAY OF DESCRIBING HER THOUGHTS IS SO COOL. “Dipika Perumal had met people who wanted to hurt children. She had met people who hated children, who even enjoyed hurting them. She knew what that looked like in a person, you could see it in their faces. And she could see that Mr. Benedict and his companions were not those people. But just because they didn’t enjoy hurting children didn’t mean they wouldn’t use them, and it didn’t mean they weren’t up to anything nefarious.” YES. OH MY WORD SO GOOD.

Also Mr. Benedict being like “Yes, if I tell this lady that my recently discovered twin brother is behind all of this, it will definitely give me credibility. This is the best option”

There’s something about Number Two fixating on the food as a way to enter the conversation/be sure that if something goes wrong she’ll be there that rings very true to me. She anxious about this, and she wants to protect Mr. Benedict and exert some kind of control because she couldn’t keep the house from being broken into and now they’re in the woods and she can’t keep Rhonda from wanting to quit and she couldn’t keep Miss Perumal from finding them and the only thing she can control right now is the stuff she makes with her own hands and she’s scared that she’s falling behind because of all her failures and you can feel that she just needs to do something. You do a good job of portraying that.

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING ME CRY OVER THESE CHARACTERS????? FOR FIVE SECONDS???? OH MY WORD

And poor Sticky is ashamed of admitting that he’s afraid of not being wanted, like he thinks he isn’t even worth being upset about how he’s been treated.

It’s been kind of intriguing to see Curtain’s feelings about Reynie and Sticky slowly switch.

And now we’re back to Mr. Benedict’s questionable attempts to explain himself. Why on earth would she need background for the information you just dropped on her about your brother? That certainly wasn’t something to be expected.

AKJFshad;asdfg Number Two just casually going “He’s narcoleptic, it’s fine. Please continue to enjoy your food” and the way you write Miss Perumal’s reaction!! She’s so baffled but she adapts, as she does.

Oh goodness, she thinks he’s crazy. I feel so bad for him because he’s had such awful experiences with that, but also from her perspective it’s totally justified.

I love how she initially was trying to be nice and not trigger him but immediately forgoes this to yell at him about sending children into an underground secret tunnel.

HILDEGARD

NO, OH, HILDEGARD. Sad :( 

“Garrison tried to believe that it was for the best. The helpers were happy at the Institute, which was more than she could say for herself.” Please, I will bake you muffins if you stop destroying me like this :((((

AND SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS THAT SHE’S HURT PEOPLE (And herself) IN THE PAST. BUT SHE CAN’T REMEMBER.

Oh my. He feels so guilty about how they might have hurt Milligan. And he’s so alone in that.

AND SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS THAT SHE’S HURT PEOPLE (And herself) IN THE PAST. BUT SHE CAN’T REMEMBER.

Oh my. He feels so guilty about how they might have hurt Milligan. And he’s so alone in that.

She knows!! She sees the button and that whole paragraph looking into how she feels about the situation and how she fought Curtain to avoid brainsweeping the children is bone-chilling I don’t know how you managed to make us feel that way when I know what’s going to happen it’s nuts how good at this you are.

Their decaying dynamic is driving me up a wall. She doesn’t get why Curtain cares about her, but she’s using it to her advantage, all the while Curtain’s still manipulating her, but he’s trying to do it in the least malicious way possible. (And he’s failing)

“the shock of Curtain realizing the situation she was imagining. A world where they were actually held accountable for what they were doing.”

Garrison’s little dive into Curtain’s weird delusions is very interesting. He really is unsettling, because he isn’t some mastermind who spends all his time distracting people from his real intentions, he’s spending just as much time trying to convince himself of what he’s telling others that he can’t see clearly anymore.

I really appreciate how you give Miss Perumal her own opinions and personality, but you keep her thoughts directed at Reynie. That’s a tough balance.

The narrative tension in the details of how Dipika leaves thinking that Mr. B and Co aren’t intentionally hurting people, but should be stopped nonetheless, and she doesn’t see how badly she’s shaken him is so good!!

More Perumal backstory!!!

SQ!!!!

Oh, this is one of my favourite scenes in the show, just for the lines and the mirror shots and everything, I’m so excited to see your take

Aw yeah, this is brilliant.

Let him go to college!!!! Let him do the things!! Let him do his art!!!

He wants his dad to be proud!! He’s trying so hard to frame it positively, but Curtain’s a wacko and he isn’t going to let him :( 

Let him have his confidence!! He could so definitely do it, I’m so sad :(

Garrison: “Hmm, I’m going to have a look at my readings, so I can maybe hypothesise about how I could possibly find the child” The Readings: “She was in your lab, you weirdo”

Wait. WHAT????? WHAT IS THIS, BODS????? EXCUSE ME???? I MEAN, I KNOW THIS FIC IS AMAZING AND I LOVE IT BUT WHAT????? I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT TO COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

Please don’t go and put your liver in jeopardy again, Doc. I don’t think anyone can take much more of that.

AJKSFhakjsgh You always manage to come swinging out of the blue with your chapter conclusions. Goodness. I think I need to go sit down, but I still have another chapter to read and I don’t know if I can wait!!

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

More thoughts on these guys.

The demons that Cas makes are exceptionally loyal to him, Crowley is kind of the exception to this because he's been around long enough and gotten enough insight into how Cas works to realize his love is entirely unconditional. All these other demons worshipping Lucifer as their creatorfathergod and trying to prove they're loyal enough and strong enough and clever enough to witness his coming and receive their rewards when really they're insects to him. But Crowley knows the thing that made him just wants him to exist, so he's fully justified in doing whatever he wants and looking out for number one always. Unfortunately he does have a soft gooey center that craves affection and sometimes cares about people a little bit and EXTRA unfortunately Castiel knows about this and is most pleased with him when he gives into it. This is endlessly frustrating because being nice and caring about things is super fucking embarrassing. I like to imagine they do have something of a familiar snark filled dynamic just bexause Crowley's like that and Cas finds it funny, but if the conversation goes on for too long Cas will gradually grow more openly indulgent an affectionate an Crowley wi have to escape before he gets his hair ruffled and his cheeks pinched.

Bela is fun to make one of Cas' demon children bc her hell deal came out of her being in an abusive family situation and now she gets handed to a new parent/creator who loves her unconditionally and happily gives her all the power she has ever needed to protect herself, with the steep price that first she has to be vulnerable and in terrible pain while he holds her hand through it. I feel like this would both fix her and make her worse. She's still a very new demon when she gets the mission to help pull Castiel out of hell and she hasn't quite wrapped her head around this being something other than a dangerous quid pro quo that she needs an escape hatch and contingency plans to get out of alive. The Winchesters find her when she's in the process of putting together the plan to raise Cas and it's possible she conspires with them to doublecross him, or at least she puts them in his path to buy herself time to escape. This fails and she gets caught but Castiel forgives her instantly and because he's on this new, if you love something let it go kick he even figures out that eating Bela so that she's safe and understands that he loves her might not be the best solution and lets her go. Being allowed to leave with no conditions messes with her head a bit and she's back helping Cas again within a month.

This decision comes right on the heals of Cas doing something similar with Jimmy, who had to be like. Way more altered to hold Cas and coerced into a yes to get him there in th first place and so has Been Through It. There's like. A confrontation with his family I think and Jimmy obviously yearns for them so Castiel's first impulse is like. Oh okay I'll go get them for you. But Jimmy pleads with him to let them go/leave them in peace. And Cas is like. Wow 🥺 you would want them to be away from you even though you love them? If it means a better life for them? That's amazing I should do that for you too Jimmy, because I love you. And then he like. Gives them Jimmy's soul. Since he needs to use his body. He gives him like additional power/energy so he's stronger and more stable than your typical ghost and tied to his family so he can't ever be taken away from them. A perfect solution that will have no consequences.

Also an incomplete list of demons with a connection to Cas in this au:

Crowley: Goes without saying that the king of the crossroads would be one of his. Makes sure that Castiel gets enough souls to keep him satisfied and has a particular skill for picking out people that will make truly exemplary demons once Cas is through with them. I actually did see this in a fic exactly one time and the idea of Cas creating Crowley is both hilarious and compelling.

Meg: One of the few who's been down to meet Castiel and made it back up. The reason that Azazel knows that Castiel is still alive down there. Made it out because her love for her father was strong enough to pull her back but she catches herself thinking of the thing in the pit and how it made her feel more often than she wants to admit even to herself.

Bela: Yeah what I said about Crowley specially selecting people he thinks Cas will make into exceptional demons. Bela is one. She becomes a driving force of the plot because Castiel sends her topside with instructions to complete a special summoning that will free him from the structure of hell and pull him into a suitable vessel. One unfortunate Jimmy Novak.

[lovelybarnes]

dumb jokes- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, platonic!sam wilson x reader, platonic!bruce banner x reader, mentions of other avengers warnings: language but pure pure fluff about: prompt generator: bucky telling y/n a dumb joke just to see her smile.

bucky is surprised at the ugly feeling that fills his stomach when he sees you laughing at sam. your hand is on his forearm, lightly squeezing as your sweet laughter makes his senses go into overdrive. seeing you so happy usually raises his spirits, but, he realizes, he doesn’t like it all that much when it is provoked by anyone other than him.

possessive and irrational, yes, but bucky is set on the next time you laugh, it’ll be at something clever he’s said. he rolls his eyes when sam says something- probably stupid- else and you laugh harder, promising himself you’ll laugh even more when he’s the one causing it.

unfortunately for him, he completely underestimated your beauty, because the next time he sees you, every joke he asked friday to tell him disappears from his mind, only one, ridiculously dumb one left. his brain can’t seem to work when your eyes and kind smile are directed at him. when there’s a pause in what you’re saying, he blurts the beginning of his joke, “talking about pigs-” you were definitely not talking about pigs, “what do you call a pig that does karate?”

your head tilts in confusion at his random addition, but you play along anyways, “i don’t know, what do you call a pig that does karate?” bucky swallows, “a pork chop.” the joke is even more absurd when he hears himself say it, about to cringe when your lips break out in a grin and you begin to laugh. “oh god, bucky,” you manage, catching your bottom lip between your teeth to try and calm yourself down. bucky wants to tell you to not- to please, please never stop laughing. “i think my nephew would appreciate that one,” you say, still chuckling. tony calls you over, and you look back at bucky with an apologetic look, remnants of your laugh still shown on your face through your small smile and crinkled eyes. “thank you for that, bucky,” you say, then press a kiss to his cheek, lighting him up bright red.

sam suddenly claps his back while he stares at you walk away, still snickering softly. “you’ve got it bad. a pork chop? seriously?”

bucky can’t find it in himself to care.

-

the next time, he swears he had an actually smart joke, not at bruce-level, and not pork-chop level, enough to not make him sound like he spends most of his time with three year olds. he searched it up on google, next to other ones he didn’t particularly prefer.

he repeated it to himself enough to make him forget about his current mission, but he considers it worth it if he’ll get to hear you laugh again. however, the moment your tired self leans your head against his shoulder, he blanks. “tell me something, bucky,” you request softly, the effects of the mission clear in every way. “uh- what do you call a fake noodle?”

“what?”

“an ‘im-pasta,” he replies sheepishly, pleased to hear you laugh when he does. “like imposter, that’s funny,” you say, still blessing him with light giggles. “you have the best jokes, bucky,” you compliment, pushing yourself closer to him while you yawn, smile still on your face while you drift to sleep, “im-pasta,” you mutter softly, chuckling quietly.

sam shakes his head in front of bucky, exasperated look in his eyes.

-

bruce is with you the third time, easy look on his usually stressed features when you push him gently with your shoulder, talking to him about some fancy equation. bruce says something else to you that bucky can’t understand, the sentence too jumbled with gamma radiation jargon for him to completely understand. it’s a joke that you chortle at anyways, making that jealous feeling crawl into his gut again.

bucky is smart. he knows that, but every time your pretty eyes look up at him, he feels every ounce of that fall out of his ears. he has his bearings enough to call you, though. “y/n?” he starts. you look up at him, “hey buck; yeah?”

“why can’t you trust an atom?” he asks, barely noticing the flicker of recognition on banner’s face while he shakes his head, tiny smirk still on his lips. “why?” you question, “because they make up everything.”

you laugh loudly, as expected, and a lovesick smile spreads on bucky’s face. bruce remains quiet, silently observing a frustrated sam behind bucky.

-

sam decides he’s had enough after bucky tells you a joke about a used tissue and you actually laugh, sick with both the reciprocated pining neither of you seem to grasp and the horrendous jokes bucky is pulling out of the internet.

as easy as it should be to get two people who are very clearly in love with each other- bucky, who tells you moronic jokes just to see you smile and hear your laughter, and you, who laughs at said moronic jokes because anything that comes from bucky is akin to a priceless, precious diamond to you (because there is no way anybody older than ten actually enjoys them)- it really is not, considering your whole “love from a distance” thing that drives absolutely everyone insane.

well, insane no longer, because sam wilson, as always, is to the rescue.

he finds himself looking up “cheesiest pick up lines,” making himself cringe immediately when he realizes those words will end up in his history and available to stark. he finds a suitable list of lines he can imagine coming out of bucky’s mouth, even if those occurrences are in his nightmares, and writes a couple of them down, leaving the choice of which one to bucky.

the super soldier is horrified when sam shoves the small piece of paper into his chest, jamming a finger in his flesh arm while he threatens to hurt him if he doesn’t end the dumbassery and just asks the girl out already.

sam will take full credit at your wedding, you’re sure of it, when you see him smile and nod proudly from his place in the doorway when you accept bucky’s offer of a date.

[harrysweasleys]

save me a dance // n.l.

summary: Hi!! Could I please request a Neville x Slytherin! Reader? She has a kind soul and became friends with Hermione (who’s the only person that knows about her crush on Neville), but she kept her distance because she knew about what happened to his parents. She goes to the Yule ball with another Slytherin that eventually ditched her, so she sneaks into the kitchens and hangs out with house elves until Neville comes by (knowing that she always hung out with them when she felt sad) and he confesses ^^

warnings: very brief mention of unwanted sexual advances if you squint, mentions of food

word count: 5k

a/n: my first neville fic!!! i’m so excited for you all to read it, i had so much fun writing it :)

[i do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other platform]

For what felt like the hundredth time, you woke up to the same view; your Yule Ball dress hanging loosely over the four poster bed, the sunlight streaming through the fabric and onto your chunky bed sheets.

The dress was quite stunning, but Godric, did you dread wearing it. You didn’t exactly feel like dancing the night away alongside some Slytherin bloke while you looked around at all the happy couples, wishing ever so desperately that that could have been you. That you could be the one dancing the night away with the person who had captured your heart effortlessly.

Unfortunately, that plan hadn’t exactly fallen into place. Hermione had done her best to help you out in getting him to ask you, but you ended up being put on the spot when a Slytherin boy named Jasper had asked you during Transfigurations. So, you had said yes, but deep down, that regret was starting to multiply by the second.

You let out a groan, tossed your head back against the pillow, and lifted the warm comforter off of your body. The fireplace in the centre of the room was still crackling away, but within the stone walls of the castle, the cold seemed to never fully fade.

So you threw on your house sweater, your scarf, robe, and a pair of trousers, before heading down to start the day. The snow was accumulating rather quickly outside as Christmas drew nearer, rendering you quite glad that you brought your scarf.

“At least you’re prepared,” Hermione mumbled as the two of you made your way to Divinations, “It’s always freezing in Professor Trewlaney’s room! Oh, how I wish I could have brought mine. Rather silly of me.”

You chuckled, keeping your eyes on the long winding staircase as you responded to her, “Not to worry, I’m sure Ron has a sweater you can borrow.”

Though you weren’t facing her, you could practically feel her eye roll as she scoffed, “Very funny. Such a clever idea. You really are filled with those.”

“I’m just saying,” you turned back to face her quickly before pulling down the ladder to the Divination classroom, “I’m sure he’d think you look amazing in it. Isn’t that what guys like? When their girlfriends wear their clothing?”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” she shushed you as you climbed up, “Be quiet!”

You apologized with a laugh as you climbed into the classroom and made your way to your usual seat at the front by the window, Hermione coming over to join you. Harry and Ron were seated not too far away, but that didn’t really matter to you. From across the class, you spotted Neville.

He was accompanied by Seamus — who seemed quite interested in the tablecloth at the moment — but you so wished that you could be the one sitting across from him.

His vest hung loosely against his body and his dark hair was littering his forehead, eyes scrunched shut as he let out a yawn. As he opened them, you noticed they darted in your direction before snapping away.

You felt a frown form on your lips. Why did he look away so fast? Instinctively, you raised a hand to the top of your head to check if there was anything in your hair.

“What are you doing?” Hermione asked as she dug through her bag, placing the heavy Divinations book on top of the circular table. The book, with its golden lettering, seemed to twinkle under the pink hues of the morning sky.

You shrugged, “Nothing.”

Her eyes followed to where you had previously been looking, and she let out a sigh, “Relax. You look wonderful. There’s nothing to fix.”

You sulked back into your chair, “Hermione, he asked Ginny to the ball. Don’t try to continue your matchmaking.”

She leaned forward on the table, pushing her thick hair behind her shoulder, “Doesn’t mean you don’t stand a chance. Look, I like Ginny, but maybe they’re going as friends. Like you and Jasper.”

“I think Jasper has more than friendship on his mind,” you muttered under your breath, thinking back to the way his hands lingered on your lower back a little too long after you agreed to be his date.

She gave you a sympathetic glance, opening her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by Trewlaney announcing her presence. The class began shortly after, and you spent the time reading Hermione’s palm and deciphering what your own dreams meant.

According to the textbook, you were going to stumble upon a lot of money as well as possibly fall down a sewer within the next week. Nothing new, really. It was better than Harry’s, who once again, was told he was doomed for death in the coming months.

As the class ended, you stuffed the books and parchment into your backpack and thanked Trelawney for the lesson, following Hermione out of the room. As you made your way to the ladder, you spotted a little red ball on the ground.

You crouched to pick it up, immediately recognizing it as Neville’s remembrall. How oddly convenient that it land right at your feet.

“Oh, thanks,” he muttered as you turned to hand it to him, fingers brushing against his as you placed it in his palm, “This thing likes to try and escape.”

You grinned at him, “You should keep it safe in your dorm.” You tried your best to keep your voice steady as you spoke to him, which was odd, really. Why did you always become so nervous around Neville, who was one of the shyest, kindest people you’d ever met? Crushes were quite strange.

He gave you a small smile and a shrug, “I like to carry it on me. It’s from my nan. I don’t want to leave it behind.”

Your chest felt like it was going to swell at his words, “That’s really sweet. I’m sure she appreciates that you care for it so much.”

As you turned back to face the ladder, Hermione gave you a quick wink and a thumbs up before darting away with Harry and Ron, clearly insinuating that you should walk with Neville. You mentally scolded her before making your way to it, Neville not far behind.

“She does,” he said, fondness clear in his voice, “It’s not like I get anything from my parents, so I cherish anything I get from my family in general.”

Your heart sunk in your chest. Neville had always been very closed off when talking about his family — especially his parents — so the way he mentioned them so casually had you doubting what to say next. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by continuing the topic, nor did you want to brush it off like it was nothing.

“I’m sorry,” you said, facing him once the two of you began going down the spiral staircase, “I can imagine it’s difficult. But your nan clearly cares a lot, and she’s lucky to have you.”

His ears turned slightly pink at your words and you had to fight a grin.

The next few minutes were silent until Neville once again turned to face you. There was something about him that always seemed optimistic, despite the fact that he had just spoken a bit about the difficult situation with his parents. Whether it be the smile on his face or the sparkle in his eye, you couldn’t be sure what it was. But Merlin, did you ever adore it.

“She sent me my suit for the Yule Ball, actually,” he said, a bit of a hop in his step as he said the words, “It doesn’t fit perfectly but I’m sure it’ll last the night.”

You let out a small laugh, “That’s awfully sweet of her. I’m sure you’ll look dashing.”

As you said the words, you regretted them instantly. Well, not so much regretted — you meant every syllable — but more so, you wished you could currently fall into the sewer that Trelawney had predicted you’d stumble into.

Throwing out a compliment like that was quite possibly the last thing you wanted to do. Would he react badly? Would he think you were coming onto him? Would this change things?

Were you overthinking?

The corners of his lips curled up into a shy smile and he gave you a nod and cut you short of your internal rambling, “Are you excited?”

Yeah, definitely overthinking.

You let out a sigh, trying to move past your embarrassment and continue your walk to your next class, dodging a few passing students, “Kind of. I’m excited for the music. Not so much the dancing. I’m not very good at that.”

He chuckled, “I wasn’t either. I taught myself, actually. In my room. The lads loved to make fun of that.”

The image of Neville dancing away in the cramped boys’ dorm brought a smile to your face.

“You’ve already got a step up on me, then,” you faced him, “Get ready to watch me humiliate myself on the dance floor.”

You stepped a little closer to him as a group of Ravenclaw pushed past in a rush, and Neville’s hand reached for your arm to help steady you.

“Sorry,” he muttered, pulling away and avoiding your gaze, “But anyways, I’m sure you’re not as bad as you think. Ginny has never danced either, so you won’t be the only one.”

You tried your best to push past the surge of jealousy that washed over you. You already knew he was going with Ginny — hell, you’d know for a while now — but it did not make it any easier to hear. Especially coming from him.

“I didn’t expect you’d ask her,” you admitted, “but I’m sure you’ll both have a wonderful time. She’ll have a good leader to help her maneuver the moves.”

You gave his shoulder a small nudge, trying to act like you weren’t drowning in your own feelings. The thought of Neville holding Ginny close to his body as they swayed to the romantic music nearly made you sick. You liked Ginny a great deal, she was such a sweet girl with a fierce attitude that you admired, but you really wished Neville had asked you instead.

“We’re just going as friends,” he said, “I was going to ask someone else but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I’m pretty sure Ginny was also interested in another person in the first place.”

You tried your best to hold back a sigh of relief. They were going as friends. That didn’t mean it would make it easier to see them together, but maybe you could push past the jealousy you felt about seeing them as a couple.

But then the next thing he said hit you; he wanted to ask someone else. Someone he was interested in romantically? Perhaps he actually did like someone, even if that someone wasn’t Ginny. Who could it be? And why were you so irritated? You didn’t even know them.

“Well,” you said, unsure of how to change the topic, “I’ll be looking out for you two on the dance floor.” You wanted so desperately to no longer speak of the Yule Ball. The thought of the night was now dizzying and had you feeling a little faint, to be completely honest.

It was going to be a long day.

— —

You were honestly quite surprised by the appearance of the Great Hall. Usually filled with long tables, chairs, and candles, it was now glistening like a winter wonderland. There was fake snow falling from the ceiling, but it never touched the ground. The room smelled faintly of pine trees and sweets, and you figured that there had to be at least seven Christmas trees littering the room.

To put it simply, the space was beautiful.

Music played softly from the dance floor ahead, and to your right, there was a small table with a few snacks and drinks. There were also quite a few seats around, already occupied by couples and friends.

“What do you want to do?”

You turned to face Jasper, who was waving over at a group of Slytherins further on the left.

“We can go dance,” you suggested, praying he wasn’t going to drag you over to his housemates. Jasper seemed alright enough, but you weren’t a fan of his obnoxious friends. You could very well go the night without hanging around them, thank you very much.

He shrugged, “Sure.”

He linked his hand in yours and tugged you along behind him, bringing you over to the dance floor. Once you got there, you noticed a few familiar faces.

Hermione and Viktor were not far away, and she gave you an excited grin before pointing at her date, who was obviously making love heart eyes in her direction. You couldn’t blame him, honestly. Further along you spotted Fred and Angelina, dancing away as if they were the only two in the room. It caused you to chuckle.

“So do you want to dance, or…?” Jasper asked, placing one of his hands on your waist.

You shivered under his touch. It wasn’t a good shiver, it was discomfort. You wanted more than anything to be dancing with Neville — who you currently spotted over with Ginny, his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders.

“Yeah,” you squeaked, awkwardly stepping closer to him before putting your arms around his neck. Your throat began to sting as you watched the two of them glide across the floor, laughing as they spoke to each other. It felt quite juxtaposed to the uncomfortable, weird situation that you found yourself currently in.

You began to sway to the music, trying your best not to dart your eyes to Neville every couple of seconds. Jasper was clearly not enjoying this, but you honestly couldn’t bring yourself to care what he wanted. He wasn’t going to get what he came here for and you weren’t going to be guilted into it either.

You honestly couldn’t be thankful enough as the slow song ended. You quickly pulled your arms away from him and you crossed them over your chest.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” you said, not waiting for his response before taking off to the table by the entrance. You heard him call your name as you pushed your way through students, holding the skirt of your dress in your hands to avoid being stepped on, but you didn’t look back.

There was a clearing near the table and you took a deep breath, dropping your skirt and letting out a sigh. Your shoulders slouched as you walked over and grabbed a small glass, not even sure if you were thirsty. The excuse was simply to get away from Jasper. You were regretting your decision to come here more than ever.

“I recommend the punch.”

You spun on your heel, nearly coming in contact with Neville. He was standing behind you, taking a step back after realizing how close he really was.

“Oh—,” you nodded, “Thanks.”

The punch bowl sat in front of you, glistening red under the shimmering lights. You grabbed the spoon and poured yourself a little bit, enjoying the scent of the fruity drink.

You turned back around, giving Neville a forced smile, “I’m sure it’s delicious.”

His eyebrows furrowed and he fiddled with his waistcoat, “Are you alright? I don’t mean to prod or anything.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, “Yeah, I guess I’m alright, really. Just not having a great time.”

Neville’s eyes scanned the dance floor where he spotted Jasper’s familiar blond head scanning the crowd, “I’m guessing it has something to do with your date.”

His eyes found yours again and you nodded, placing the glass down on the table behind you, “My situation is kind of like yours, I guess. You wanted to ask someone else. Well, I wanted someone else to ask me.”

You could see his shoulders sag before he frowned, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I’d say anyone would be lucky to have you as their partner, but something about him tells me he’s not enjoying himself the way he should be, being by your side and all.”

You had to fight a grin at his words. How Neville could be so awkward, yet so effortless in his words, you’d never understand. It was one of the reasons you knew you wouldn’t be getting over your crush anytime soon.

“Thanks,” you gave him a smile, looking down to the ground before meeting his eyes again, “You should go back. I don’t want to keep you from dancing.”

You could see the hesitation in his eyes as he scanned your face, but he gave a slight nod, “If ever you want to get away from him, I’ll be there to help you.”

“Thanks, Neville,” you smiled genuinely, maintaining eye contact. He stood there for a moment, looking into your eyes, and you could practically feel how reluctant he was to walk away.

As cliché and typical as it sounds, it almost felt like you were alone in the room, completely lost in his gaze. His eyes brought you comfort that nothing else could provide, and you only wished you could look into them more often. Like dancing, for example. How easily you’d find yourself lost in his eyes if you were dancing.

“No worries,” he gave you a small smile, scanned your face once more, and took off into the crowd. As you watched his head of dark hair vanish, you let out a deep breath. If life could go your way, he’d have his hand linked with yours as he led you back to the dance floor.

But life wasn’t fair like that, was it?

You completely disregarded the punch behind you, stomach feeling like it was in knots, and made your way back to where you left Jasper. Only, you couldn’t find the familiar mop of blond hair anywhere. He was rather tall, so it wouldn’t be difficult to spot him. And yet, somehow, he was nowhere to be seen.

Until you looked to the entrance door and saw him hand in hand with a ginger Slytherin girl, both of them stumbling over their feet as they made their way out.

“Well, that was fast,” you mumbled, a frown on your face.

You stood alone on the floor, couples swaying to the music around you. It kind of felt like a movie — the kind of movie where the girl gets her heart crushed by a guy, and then is ditched by another guy, and then is left alone in the end. A crappy movie, you thought, but one that seemed to fit really well right now.

The music was practically taunting you, so instead of staying put or going to finish your drink, you once again gathered your dress in your hands, and made your way out of the room.

The hallway felt a lot fresher compared to the Great Hall, but that was understandable. Hundreds of bodies in one room compared to the corridor with an open doorway to the winter air.

Though, that wasn’t where you were going. You decided you’d go down to your usual escape spot, and now that all the teachers were chaperoning the ball, you would make it there with minimal interruption.

You spotted the familiar painting by the kitchen entrance, the bowl of fruits, and raised your hand to tickle the pear. The painting swung open and you crawled through the little stone passage, making sure your dress wasn’t going to get caught, before landing on both feet on the tile floor.

“Oh! Miss Y/N!”

Dobby, donned in a little scarf and hat, waved at you from a tabletop.

“Hey, Dobby,” you grinned, “Sorry to interrupt your quiet evening in here. I didn’t know where else to go.”

He patted the table next to him, “Why did you leave so early? Dobby heard the ball was lasting all night.”

You gave him a little smile, sitting down on the stool in front of him, “Wasn’t as fun as I expected. I’d rather spend my evening here. Where is everyone else?” The stool was rather small for a human being, considering it was most likely made for an elf, but if you leaned forwards against the table and kept your feet plastered to the ground, you managed to balance just fine.

He gave a little smile and looked at you with those big eyes, “They are all tired! We have been putting the ball together for days now! They all went to bed.”

The corner of your lips curved up, “Well, now you have company, Dobby.”

He clapped his hands together and let out a little laugh, “Let me show you what Dobby found today. It was in the Gryffindor common room!”

You nodded, knowing that it was most likely a knitted hat. Hermione had been leaving those scattered around the room for a little while now. Little did she know Dobby was the one collecting them all.

As you watched his little body disappear through a small doorway on the far wall, you took a look around the kitchen. Despite the fact that you were certain they had been working non-stop in here for days on end, it was nearly spotless. Pots and pans shimmered under the candlelight, tabletops were clear, apart from a few fruit bowls and snacks. The counters were clean, as well as the floors.

If this place had windows, or maybe a little more light, you felt it would be quite nice.

You sat there silently for a little while, already beginning to feel the sadness of the evening creep in. It was quite a bummer, really. You didn’t know if you wanted to go back to your own dorm tonight or stay out wandering the halls, mind running through all the scenarios on how tonight could have gone differently, how it could have been better.

The only sound you could hear was a light creak, which you eventually realized was the painting swinging open to let someone in.

Panic began to settle in and you stood off your chair, moving to the other side of the table. You would still be very much visible if you ducked, so there was no point in doing it, but you did it anyways.

The last thing you wanted was for Snape or Moody to catch you where you shouldn’t be.

Except, the person that crawled through and landed sturdily on their feet wasn’t Snape or Moody.

It was Neville.

You popped your head back up, eyes locking with his. He looked a little disheveled in terms of his hair, and his bow tie was slightly off centre, but the smile on his face showed relief.

“Neville?” you asked, already feeling a little less panicked. You only hoped Neville was alone. The last thing you wanted was for a girl to crawl in behind him. He wasn’t that kind of guy, you knew that, but your mind went there anyways.

Thankfully, he was alone. The painting swung closed behind him and he gave you a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, walking back around to the front of the table, this time deciding not to sit on the stool.

His cheeks turned a little pink but he brushed it off and shrugged, “I saw you rush out of the room. I wanted to see if you were okay. I remember you once told me you come here when you’re upset, so I gave it a shot.”

Your mouth felt like it fell open so you shut it quickly, blinking rapidly, “I’m surprised you remembered. Only you and Hermione know about my little escape spot.”

He gave a small chuckle, stepping a little closer, “Are you alright, though? I saw you leave and I didn’t see your date anywhere.”

You gave a shrug, averting your eyes, “He left. With another girl. I wasn’t interested in him that way, but it still sucks.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and gave a shake of his head, “You’re better off without him,” he stepped a little closer, catching your attention once more, “But I get why you’re upset. Funny story, the same thing happened to me. But not in the same sense. Ginny managed to get a dance with Harry.”

You were close enough to put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

Realization caught up to you and you noticed how stupid this gesture probably was, so you snatched your arm back and held it against you. Neville noticed your quick reaction and you could see his gaze fall down to the ground before meeting yours again.

Just like at the punch table, it felt as if time stood still while you looked into his eyes. You could see he looked like he wanted to say something, his stare darting back and forth between your lips and your eyes, but he didn’t say anything for a good moment.

Until one of his hands reached across and held yours. His skin was warm, and you could feel his pulse against his wrist. His heart was beating fast, and if he could feel your own pulse, he’d say the same about you.

“You look—,” he took a deep breath, “You look beautiful tonight. Well, not just tonight. You look beautiful most of the time. I’m just saying, it’s — never mind.”

Your heart seemed to stutter in your chest, goosebumps rising on your skin at his words. They had caught you so off guard that you couldn’t find a way to respond. No words seemed to find their way into your mind. All you could do was smile. A bright, genuine grin that hurt your cheeks.

“Thanks,” you let out a small laugh, linking your fingers with his, “Also, you look pretty dapper yourself. I told you you would, and I was right.”

He stepped closer, his other hand locking with your free one. It wasn’t an overtly intimate gesture — people held hands all the time — but Merlin, did you ever melt into his touch.

“Do you — Can we have a dance?”

You bit your lip to hold back your smile. How you went from standing alone on the dance floor, starring in the most depressing teen flick you’d ever heard of, to standing alone in the kitchen, your hands locked with Neville’s as the candles flickered around the two of you, you’d never know. But you were so, so grateful. And happier than you can ever remember being.

“I’d love that,” you nodded, stepping closer and resting your head against his shoulder. His hands let go of yours and went to your waist, and it felt so right. So right that you completely forgot about how it felt when Jasper was holding you instead.

Your hands went up to his neck, draping them around him and leaning into his touch. There was no music, but it almost didn’t feel necessary. The two of you began to sway slowly back and forth, the only sound being the click of your shoes as you took your steps. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care about whether Dobby would walk back in any second now.

He rested his head against yours as he led the way. It wasn’t much of a dance, but it was quite possibly the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to you. You wished more than anything that you could freeze this moment and live like this forever.

“A hat! Dobby was left a hat — Oh! Hello!”

Neville pulled away instinctively and grinned awkwardly, taking a second to process what had happened before nodding his head in the direction of the house elf, “Hello, Dobby.”

You fought a grin, turning your head back to face Dobby, who was awkwardly looking between the two of you, a large knitted beanie in his hand.

“Dobby can sense he is intruding,” he muttered, giving a little bow before backing up through the door he left through before, “Good night!”

The moment had sort of been interrupted, but you didn’t move away from Neville’s touch, resting your head against his shoulder once more as your laughter died down. Of course, the curious little elf would walk in at the worst moment.

“I knew that would happen,” you laughed, tightening your grip around him a little more. He chuckled, head falling against yours. You could feel his hair tickling the side of your face, the strands unruly and curly as they brushed against your skin.

The night ended up being way better than you expected.

This one you would never forget.

——

taglist

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[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Din Djaren x force sensitive reader - A Moment Of Bliss

Summary: You’re trying to meditate but your boys have other plans for you.

Warning: child being cute, fluff, SMUT, Din being the best space husband

Side note: wrote this before I learned the child’s name is Grogu, that is all.

Masterlist

You and your small clan of two have been stationed on a beautiful rolling grassland of a planet, ginormous stocky umbrella like trees sprouting from the flat land every couple miles from one another. They’re honestly quite the sight to behold, and something that you’re grateful for considering there’s no sand in sight. Honestly the most blessed thing of all that this wonderous planet has to offer, you can’t say you’re a real fan of the desert by any means.

Although you’re not exactly fond of the real reasoning why you’re here, it just so happened that Mando had gotten himself into some trouble when he captured the last bounty. A trafficking lord who just wasn’t as clever as he thought, earning himself some chains and a go around in a fun little thing called carbonite.

Nonetheless, his minions had tracked you two down after the bounty had been cashed in, slightly damaging the Razor Crest before Mando was able to lose them with some quick witted maneuvering. But you’re certain they’re still hunting you guys somewhere close by in the galaxy. 

So for the time being, Din has decided for your band of three to lay low on this beautiful planet until he’s sure that the petty criminals have given up, or until you both get bored enough and decide to finish them off yourselves.

Which is all fine for you, what could be better then a tiny vacation away from shady scavengers and untrustworthy pimps? Nothing really, so to make the most out of your fortunately unfortunate escape/ temporary vacation. You’ve chosen to spend your afternoon helping the child practice his growing powers. Although it appears the little guy is more interested in a shiny purple crystal that he found minding its business on the gravely ground.

Sitting yourself in a criss cross position upon the soft grass, you close your eyes as you prepare to meditate when suddenly the child makes the most adorable babbling sound, with an amused smile you open your eyes to look down at him, “I’ll let that slide.” He gurgles while tilting his head to the side, his big green ears flopping ever so slightly as he possibly considers your comment.

Watching him decide to sit down and instead play with the purple crystal, earns a little smirk upon your face as you shut your eyes once again. This time he doesn’t do anything to break your concentration, so taking the blessed opportunity you’re finally able to zone in on the force. Laying your arms onto your folded legs you open your palms, feeling the world around you, sensing the energy flowing in as you begin to rise from the ground.

The child watches in silent awe as small fist sized rocks begin to float and flow in circles around you, your contact with the grass no more. For a couple minutes you’re able to sustain your deep meditation, then a tiny little coo is heard from below as it shuffles in the dirt. You almost lose focus at the intruding noise, but your zoned out enough to come back to the welcoming bleary void of the force.

Another couple minutes go by before an adorable noticeably louder coo pricks at your ears, letting out a huff, you remain in the air, the pebbles and rocks around you keeping themselves suspended just the same. You focus even harder, letting yourself feel weightless and in control as you levitate above the grass, the child deciding to coo and babble once more.

“Shut up you’re gonna break my concentration,” You whisper softly as you carefully continue to levitate mere inches off of the ground. Just then the child suddenly lets out a loud messy sneeze, your face falling in irritation, “Aaaand it’s gone.” You deadpan before falling on your butt with a hmph, the little guy giggling in amusement. You fake glare at him before falling back into the soft grass as you look up to the blue sea of sky when suddenly a dark shinning shadow towers above you.

“How’s the meditation going?” Wonders Din as he joins your little party from where he once was, tending to the ship that is.

Sighing, you pull yourself up from the grass and into a proper seated position as you turn your attention to Din, “Not terribly.” You reply with a love struck grin as you lightly pat the grassy spot next to you, “Sit with me?” He looks at the area before bringing himself down to your level.

“Couldn’t hurt to relax for a minute.” Inquires Din as you roll your eyes.

“We’re being hunted Din, I think this little get away vacation of ours calls for a bit more then just a minute of relaxation. Don’t you agree?” He turns his helmet to you, the black T of his armored face showing you back your own distorted reflection.

“Gives me time to work on the ship.”

Nudging his arm that’s mere inches from your own you look at him with a smile, “Okay so that’s how it’s gonna be, you’re just glad to be working on the ship?” You muse with a fake scoff while shaking your head at him, “I should have known.”

“What? No that’s not...that’s not what I meant Y/N.” He rushes worriedly as you scoot yourself closer to him.

Softly chuckling at his quick reaction, you lean into his side as you casually lace his gloved hand with your own, “I know what you meant. But just cause I’m me, I’d rather have you in my arms then fiddling with that hunk of metal.” You explain before setting your chin against his beskar covered shoulder. You can’t see it, but he’s smiling underneath that helmet of his, looking deeply into your loving gaze.

“Likewise.”

Snaking your arms around the one closest to you, he ever so slightly leans into your touch, “Please take off your helmet so I can see those enticing dark eyes of yours. Please?” You urge with a light squeeze of his arm, “I can’t exactly kiss you like this...no ones around to see anything....and anyways we’re married so I automatically get a free pass.”

He gently squeezes your hand before reaching his arms up to his head, you hear a soft click and a whoosh of air as he pulls off his helmet. A blissful smile breaks out onto your beaming face as his fluffy brown locks appear before you, styled every which way as they embrace their new freedom.

He sets his shiny silver helmet to the side before pulling off his gloves as his dark irises find your face, you’re unabashedly biting your lip while you take in every single feature of his handsome face, “It’s a good thing you wear that helmet of yours,” You lean in close, “cause all the ladies would be fighting each other for a chance to get with you. There’s no doubt in my mind.” You muse as the most adorable of smiles graces his stunning features while he leans his head against yours, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“I have a great suspicion that you’d fight them before they even had a chance to breath in my direction.” Retorts Din as his hands gently grasp your own.

“What? No way.....okay....maybe yes.” He smiles brightly before pulling back, only to let go of your hands as he engulfs you into a giant hug. You quickly squeeze back as you push him into the grass, laughing as the both of you fall onto the soft earth.

Your eyes find his shining dark ones as you lean in close, “We should stay here, disappear from the rest of the galaxy and go M.I.A forever.” He kisses you in reply, his lips are soft and inviting as he holds you impossibly close, the scruff of his day old unkept facial hair scratching your cheek.

He slowly pulls away, earning a pout from you once he’s able to see your face again, “That does sound appealing, but I know you’d get bored with the calmness. You like adventure too much to stay in one spot for very long.” He says with a knowing look as he leans in to plant soft kisses over your cheeks, “I know you Y/N.”

Rolling your eyes you lean down to kiss his nose, “That you do, Din. Sometimes annoyingly so.” You reply before breaking out into an abrupt laugh as you watch him study your face lovingly.

Suddenly you feel a little nudge by your boot, shifting your gaze away from Din you look over to your feet where the little womp rat is. He’s smiling adorably as he babbles some more, stretching his little arms out for one of you to take, making a cute grabby motion with his hands.

Heeding to his silent yearning you sit up to gently pick up the beaming child, “Oh and how could I forget you, my little green bean....you can have all the cuddles too.” He squeals in delight as you hold him close in your lap, Din scoots over so his head is by your thighs as he gently pets his little green son on his wrinkly head.

Running your fingers through Din’s helmet hair you make a funny face at the child causing him to laugh, “I guess staying here for another week couldn’t hurt. I’ve got my two favorite people in the whole galaxy....no need to rush things.” Mutters Din as he looks to you with the biggest heart eyes while you stick your tongue out at the child.

“I’d like that very much, our little green boy....you and me, alone, a ship all to ourselves...no one to bother us.” You add, a suggestive tone laced throughout your sly voice, Din’s eyebrows raise in interest at your intriguing words, much to your amusement.

“And I have time to work on my ship.” Replies Din, side eyeing you to see your reaction to his lackluster comment.

Shaking your head you lightly tug at his tangled hair while he laughs, “You little shit. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you...you fucker.” A giggle escapes from your lips as you try and keep a serious face, Din attempting to do the same, though you’re both about to crack.

The baby starts to babble, as he wiggles his little body from side to side in an attempt at gaining back the both of your wandering attentions. Not being able to handle the sheer silliness in the atmosphere you let out a loud burst of laughter, Din following suite.

You watch as the sides of his eyes crinkle in joy, his belly rippling with each new inhalation and exhalation of air, “Din, would you like to see what we’ve been practicing on?” You ask as he finally calms down again.

“You’ve been practicing with him?” He asks with a smile, “I’d love to.”

Turning to the child in your lap you grab his sides before gently setting him onto the ground, “Okay little guy, remember you’re training....what we we’re doing yesterday. First we stick our hand out....and then we focus really hard on wanting to lift up the rocks. Okay.” The child coos in excitement as he lifts his clawed hand out to mirror your own, “Now close your eyes and feel...feel the power around you, the wind, the earth...call to it, let it flow.”

He suddenly lets out a little tut of determination as he does his best to focus, Din watches silently in anticipation for what may happen next. A beaming smile breaks out onto your face as a couple tiny pebbles begin floating off of the grass, the child lets out an excited babble as he celebrates his achievement, “You’re doing fantastic my little love, I’m so proud of you.” He coos even more as you gush in amazement, the pebbles falling to the grass as he gets distracted by your words of encouragement.

“But can Y/N lift some little stones?” Jokes Din as he gently nudges your arm, you raise an eyebrow to him before using the force to lift him a couple inches off of the grass. His eyes go wide for a second, clearly not expecting you to mess with him before you drop him onto the soft grass once again.

He lands with a dramatic huff, you look to him and your heart skips a beat as he eyes you up like a wolf to his prey, you swallow just as he suddenly tackles you into the soft green grass. You fall back with a yelp as your Mandalorian pins you to the ground, his beaming face so close to your own as he stares into your eyes with his dark ones.

“You think you’re real funny, hmm Y/N?” His voice is low and husky, his breath fanning your smirking face as he attempts to take the upper hand, “Cause that kinda hurt my arm.”

You simply roll your eyes, “I’ve seen you get swallowed by a Krayt dragon, you reckless man. Tough it out my love, you don’t want to make a bad impression on the little guy now do yo...” His soft lips are suddenly on yours as he shuts you up with his soft plush lips. The child waddles over towards the Razor Crest, uninterested with training and with whatever wrestling game you and Din are becoming entangled in.

You smile into the kiss as Din rests his weight in between your opened thighs and stomach, he rests his forearm upon the grass as his other hand caresses the side of your face. You bask in his body as your hands feel through his soft wavy locks, he moans into your mouth at the pleasant sensation, earning an amused chuckle from you.

Your opened mouth giving him enough space to stick his tongue into it as he teases you, you answer back just the same, your tongues dancing in the dark as he consumes you. He feels rather nice, you can’t help but to begin feeling a bit heated in your nether regions from the close proximity in this compromising position he has you in. Your body erupts with electricity as he starts to grind into you, the slow small friction against your clothed womanhood sending you into another realm of pleasure, and he’s not even inside you yet. 

“Right in the grass?” You mumble against his lips as he bucks against your hips, the sensation driving you insane.

Knowing exactly how it’s making you squirm, he feels rather proud of himself, “Ships too far.” Mutters Din between kisses as he reaches down to unclasp his belt.

Your lips stay locked, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth as Din tugs down your own pants. He sits up and quickly makes haste with discarding his armored torso, flinging off top clothing and undershirt as you lift up your arms for him to pull off yours. The fabric falling to the grass as the both of you take in each other’s nearly naked bodies, your thin undergarments the only pieces keeping you away from total bliss.

He rests himself upon his bent knees while dark pleading irises stare into your own, he’s asking silent permission to disrobe you of all clothing. A smile breaks out upon your flushed face, nodding in a silent yes, his eyes flash with excitement and lust as he reaches over to tug at the edges of the tight fabric, he gently pulls off your bra. Your breasts bounce once they’re free from their constraints, Din’s brows raising in excited surprise before leaning down to kiss each one before he captures your lips with his once more.

Din you have no idea what you do to me.

Deciding you’d quite like it if both of you were naked, you pull away, Din’s face following yours as he pouts. In reply to his protests you fall back into the grass, “My undies aren’t gonna take themselves off.” You muse with a lustful gaze upon your man, god you already feel so wet, Din’s most obviously hard and you’re so ready for him.

His cheeks are flushed as he gently grasps the hem of your underwear on either side of your hips, you lift your bum up when he slides them down your legs, abandoning them in the grassy field. Your heart soars when he leans down to plant a kiss on the inside of your bare thigh, then another and another as he trails up to your knee. He pulls away to look at you once again, his face a mask of pure love and adoration as he shimmies out of his bulging boxers.

Biting your lip, you lean up to meet his lips, he kisses you deeply as he rests his calloused hands into each one of your knees, ever so carefully he parts them. Your nerves sending a wave of heat into your core for the anticipation of what’s to come, both literally and figuratively. If not for the current events you’d be laughing, your wandering thoughts quickly dissipating away once he pushes you back so that you’re laying in the soft earth as he locks eyes with you.

Giving you the most beautiful of smiles he kisses your abdomen, then below your bellybutton, up to your stomach, and in between your breasts. He’s hovering annoyingly close to you. You arch into him, the skin of his torso meeting your exposed womanhood, a moan escapes him from the wet contact against his stomach. You let out a breathy laugh as he squeezes and kneads your left breast, his mouth consuming the other one, his tongue working wonders as he sucks and licks at your perked nibbles.

Your hands tangle in his wavy dark hair as he continues his pleasurable assault in your breasts, his fingers may cause a little discomfort as he squeezes but you’re enjoying it too much to give a shit. His hot wet tongue dances in circles around your skin, he lets go of your breast to then lick up your turned neck. Doing everything in your power to keep it all inside, you bite your lip in an attempt at suppressing a moan, your voice breaking free once his hardened member rubs past your entrance without warning.

“There’s that pretty voice of yours.” Mutters Din before capturing his lips with yours, his hands held firmly against the ground as he holds himself up inches from you.

How annoying you can be, Din. Just get closer you idiot. 

You feel so warm and fuzzy, his body mere inches from your wanting skin, your legs already open and ready as his length stays firm only centimeters away from your lower abdomen. Tugging at his hair, he parts from your lips as a confused expression crosses his features, you simply chuckle, “Stop making me wait my love, I’m ready for you.” His eyes closing in bliss as you purr sweetly into his ear, “I need you in me, now.”

Heeding to your straightforward command, he reaches a hand down as he guides his hardened cock to your awaiting entrance. He rubs it against your clit in a teasing manner before he slowly pushes into you, your hands flying to his muscular back as your walls adjust to his length. With a soft moan from his sweet lips, he fills you entirely, for a couple seconds does he pause. Letting himself enjoy the sensation of his cock inside you as he presses butterfly kisses all over your face.

Yes, fucking finally.

Not being able to stand it anymore, you buck your hips into him, this giving Din the cue to start working his magic. He completely pulls out of you before slamming himself into your slickness once again, a gasp leaving your lips as he does it again and again and again. Until he decides to keep himself flush against you, his new close contact vigorous thrusts sending more waves of euphoria coursing throughout your entire vessel. All that’s heard in the breeze is the sounds of your moaning and the slabs of skin on skin as Din pumps relentlessly into you.

You’re honestly rather glad that those bastard scavengers ran you into hiding on this planet, it had been a while since you and Din had had any real intimate time together and this was the perfect opportunity. Humming in pleasure, you kiss his scruffy cheek as his head falls into the crook of your neck, “Din I fucking love you so much, you have no idea.” More deep strokes are thrust into you as he kisses the side of your head.

“Y/N ni kar'tayli gar darasuum.....” His all he manages to mutter as another satisfied moan escapes him. You chuckle at how absolutely adorable and hot he’s acting right now, another thrust into you emitting a moan from your lips. He feels so good with how he’s treating you in this special moment, your two bodies colliding like stars in the sky.

You suck in a breath as a warmness builds in the pit of your stomach, you can feel your orgasm slowly rising with each and every pump into you. Din hums as he pushes you into the grass even more now, you can tell from how much more rigorous his thrusts are becoming that he’s on the edge of paradise. 

And soon after he grunts, does he spill into you, the new added sensation enough to drive you wild with bliss. Your own high finally reached as your body shakes with euphoria and the last sloppy thrusts that he’s giving you freely.

A whimper escapes from your mouth as he enjoys himself inside of you for a couple more seconds before he slowly pulls out and flops by your side on the soft grass. He’s breathing heavily as you let the cool breeze fan over your sensitive swollen womanhood, the wind doing wonders for your hot sweaty skin as you try and calm down from your buzz. You close your eyes with a satisfied smile upon your content face as Din turns over to you with an equally joyous grin.

You listen and feel as he scoots himself against your side so that he can rest his arm over your stomach, his scruffy face inches from your cheek as he gently kisses you before resting his head against your temple. You lift your arm up to lay it over top of his as he hugs your side, doing his best to keep you as close to him as physically possible.

A pleasant sigh departs from his pouty lips, fanning the side of your face as you smile, “Y/N, you are very special to me...I just thought that you should know. Incase you ever forget.”

A small chuckle escapes you at his soft words, “Din I don’t think I could ever forget, you mean more to me then all the stars in the sky...more than the most valuable gems to ever exist or even my lightsaber.” He kisses your temple once again, “I believe the force has brought me to you my love, and I’m forever grateful for that.” You voice is a soft whisper on the breeze, yet he hears it all the same.

“Y/N I love you more than life, you are too sweet my beloved.” Your heart skips at his truthful reply, a small lump in your throat forming as he presses his nose against your hairline.

You turn your head to see his face better, he locks eyes with your own as a shy smile appears on his face, “Din Djaren you’re going to make me cry, shut up.” You muse with a quick kiss to his lips, looking into his dark brown irises like they hold all the answers to the universe.

He smiles against your cheek, kissing you there once more, “Never.”

[rhenuvee]

PDA pt2 (Fred Weasley x reader)

A/N: No story line, just moments :P

Warnings: The gif... + it’s in the title, George having enough of your bs again, mention of the booty, suggestive moments

Link to pt 1: PDA pt1 (Yeah so there’s 500+ freakin notes on it holy crap)

Yeah so I just kinda wrote this during my English class...

--------------------------------------------

You always enjoyed the free days you got from work. You usually helped out in the shop when you weren’t working your regular job. Fred insisted you relax in the flat, but you wanted to spend more time with him, which meant working. 

You didn’t mind it really. His shop was full of excitement, you’d take it over a boring office job any day. 

“Love! Where’d you go?” called his voice from the top floor. You were sitting on the counter on the bottom floor already ready, and taking a sip of your tea. Your ears perked as you watched your boyfriend fiddling with his tie. As soon as he spotted you, a toothy grin came upon his face but quickly disappeared once he saw you on the counter.

“(Y/n)...” he sighed quickly trotting down the stairs while fixing his tie up and heading towards you. You hopped off the counter and leaned your back on it, knowing he was going to say the same thing again.

“Why don’t you go back up and rest?” he asked rather quietly while stroking your cheek. You put down your teacup.

“Freddie, you don’t need to worry about me, I’m wide awake.” You were hoping your cheerful voice would convince him- you were telling the truth after all. He sighed again, crossing his arms.

“I don’t want you to work on your free day.” 

“And I’m not. I just want to spend more time with you.” 

Yours and Fred’s relationship consisted of lots and lots of affection- George was unfortunately a witness to it. You loved the cuddling after a long day after work, the tight hugs once you came home, the silly kisses when Fred was hyper... Maybe it was just missing him after your hours apart during work, or purely being so proud of what he accomplished. 

“Addiction? That’s not very good, love.” he teased, smirking. You gave his arm a light push and shook your head. A tease he was. “And I offered you to join me in the shower, but you said no.”

“Because every time you ask me and I say yes, your hand is on my butt before I even step foot into the shower.” He laughs at this, which you push him a little harder for. You pause and turn your head to the front of the shop, where the ‘No PDA’ sign sat in all it’s cardboard glory. 

“Are we being too much? I don’t like being annoying to George.” you said biting your lip.

“Hm? Don’t worry about George, he’s just being crabby. And I thought you liked breaking the rules.” The shit-eating grin on his face made your face hot. He pinned you against the counter, hand brushing your waist.

“Well, I don’t, until you rubbed off me.” You poked his chest playfully.

“Did I?” He asked teasingly and getting closer to you. Before you could answer, the door flung open and a few customers entered. 

You quickly pried yourself off your boyfriend and fixed your shirt which was ruffled by the counter. You glared at him and scrunched your nose. He in turn winked and stuck out his tongue at you. Fred chuckled at how frantic you looked, compared to the customers who were too late to notice the PDA that was about to happen. 

---

There weren’t any problems with customers, and the day seemed to be passing slowly. It wasn’t until there were only a couple of people in the shop at the moment, and your boyfriend decided to walk towards you. He wrapped his built arms around your waist, and his chin rested atop your head. You were a bit surprised, but smiled when you felt the familiarity of his touch.

“Fred, you almost scared me.” You said putting one hand atop his, and the other pushing the skiving snackboxes to look nice. He didn’t say anything.

“What is it Freddie?”

“Nothing...” he mumbled. “Just- you gotta stop being so bloody cute.” He took your free hand and rubbed it with his thumb. His head was in the clouds lately, you noticed. You remembered that was the same hand you had the scars from the blood quill. Your heart swelled at how sweet he was being.

“There are people still here.” you whispered. “Merlin, no wonder George can’t stand you.” you scoffed. He unwrapped his arms around you to turn you to face him.

“But that’s because we broke the no PDA rule...” You noticed that he mumbled the last bit, trailing off a little. You were left speechless as his hand was brought up- his index finger to tilt your chin up and his thumb to trace your bottom lip. You never realized when he got so close to you, but you did now as he leaned in and-

“Excuse me, Mr. Weasley!” You quickly coughed and pulled away. A small kid about eight years old tapped Fred. The little boy cocked his head in confusion as he saw both of you in an- *cough* interesting pose. Your boyfriend, quick and clever as ever, pretended and made an excuse.

“Hello, sorry I was fixing her... apron!” He said quickly bringing a hand to your back and fiddling with the tied string. You rolled your eyes, the boy giggled at how silly Fred’s tone was. 

“You know how clumsy she gets- now what did you need help with?” You glared at him as he was whisked away by the kid, but also noticing that your apron strings were now undone. You shook your head at how much of a troublemaker Fred was.

---

As soon as Fred was done recommending a product to the boy, he walked over to where you were standing with your arms crossed. You were lucky that the last few customers had already exited before this. Surprising as well, since it was just before your lunch break.

“Yes?” He asked. You stayed put in your crossed arm form.

“’Yes?’ You call your girlfriend clumsy and you say ‘yes’?” 

“Well, you didn’t let me finish, darling.” Fred leaned against the shelf slightly and threaded one of this hands through your loose hair. “She’s a little clumsy, yes- but she’s also smart, funny, kind, drop dead gorgeous...” He placed a kiss somewhere on your face for each thing he listed. You blushed at his words and placed your hands on his forearms. 

“And sometimes she looks like a pygmy puff early in the mornings, but- hey! Ow!” 

“Well then I think you’re just a right prat.” He gasped dramatically at your statement which made you laugh. 

“That hurts...” he said softly with a pout trying to sound in pain. “Care to make it up to me?” And just like that, his cheeky nature returned. He asked the question while tapping his lips with his index finger- you knew what he was implying. 

“You, Fred Weasley are too much for me.” You sighed bringing him in for the kiss he was wanting all this time. He happily leaned in as well, connecting your lips together and moving in sync. 

You couldn’t even focus, let alone control where those hands of his were touching you; one on the nape of your neck, and the other on your waist. He purposely backed you up a little against the shelf, careful not to knock any of the products over. It caused him to push his lips more, and soon slipped his tongue in your mouth.

“Fred. (Y/n).” called George quietly from just outside his room. You heard him, but Fred didn’t seem to.

“Fred...-” you said in between breaths, hardly able to say his name. You tapped him on the shoulder to signal him to pull away. He groaned as he listened, not wanting to stop.

“To be fair she was staring at my arse, first.”

“Fred!”

“Ew... fix your clothes wouldn’t you, children.” said George putting the jacket he was holding in front of him to cover the view of you. 

“George, where have you been, mate? Haven’t seen you much this morning.” inquired Fred. He was right now that he mentioned it. You only saw George a bit this morning, but he often seemed like he was rushing.

“I have a date.” He said. You and Fred’s eyebrows raised. You were all living with each other yet he gets a date out of the blue?! 

“Georgie, that’s great! Who’s your date?” you said happily before your boyfriend could spit out something offensive.

“I have a date with Angelina.” He said pursing his lips and nodding his head. His behaviour was oddly monotone despite having a date. You squealed in excitement for your two best friends who have finally got the courage to make something happen.

“Oh bloody hell, I have a date with Angelina... what am I going to do, what do I say?” Turns out George was just a little nervous. You and Fred both giggled. You bid George goodbye as he walked out the shop door. You were happy for him, and Angelina- you noticed the shy smile on his face as he walked out. You knew it was going to go well for them.

Just as a short moment of silence came over, Fred suddenly had a thought in mind.

“Wait, does this mean that ‘No PDA’ sign is no more?” He asked with a large grin upon his face. Oh god, you knew how this conversation was going to end.

“We don’t know if George’s date is going to go well.” You said shrugging. You knew it would, but you were trying to counter him. Fred’s eyebrows raised as if to say, ‘really?’ 

“Well...” he started with a smirk appearing and his hands reaching to your hips again. “Why don’t we find out? Test out its limits?” 

You shook your head, both at how sneaky he was being, and to also try to mask the red on your face. 

“Frederic Gideon Weasley...” you said in a tone attempting to be demanding. You watched as he bit his lip, clearly knowing what you were going to say. Why did your boyfriend have to be so attractive? You were also leaning into his touch, and that’s how he knew he had you.

“You are way too much trouble.” you said pointing a finger to him.

“Was that a yes?” he asked cheekily. He knew you were trying to avoid his question.

“It wasn’t a no.” you said trying to supress the smile on your face as you were whisked away to your bedroom by your loving boyfriend.

-------------------------------------------

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[catchester]

Guardians of the Galaxy, Ragnarok, and Classic Loki

I was discussing Classic Loki's costume with someone online and I admit, in the small teaser, I was really disheartened.

Yes, it was a faithful copy of a classic Loki costume, but comic book costumes are ridiculous, especially older ones. And if that wasn't bad enough, his pants looked like a nappy.

I'd been mostly impressed with the mixture of drama and comedy but this outfit was just a step too far for me. I was not confident in where the series was going.

Then in the next episode, they took this walking visual joke and gave him not only a full, but a fulfilling character arc.

I admit, Classic Loki is my second favourite variant, just pipped to the post by alligator Loki.

And isn't that weird? Alligator Loki is objectively more ridiculous, not in his costume but in his whole character. He's a freaking reptile FFS! But I love him.

And that reminded me of a discussion I'd had with a Ragnarok fan who would hear no wrong said about her movie. The points i brought up with her had nothing to do with Loki, I chose the slavery

It's on Sakar

Valkyrie is a slave trader selling people into certain death because no one wins forever, but somehow a hero,

And that Odin build Asgard using slave labour.

And there's the colonialism, related to the third point.

Both of these issues went totally unaddressed in a movie that didn't even need them. They could have written it a different way and still had a good movie.

I mentioned how T'Challa went into the afterlife to berate his father and ancestors for their wrongs and promise to correct their mistakes, while Thor went to his colonising, slaver father and... asks for advice? Really? That's like showing Thor asking Robert E Lee for advice.

She of course, argued that they were making entertainment, not the colour purple or 12 years a slave. Of course that's a straw man argument, but I reminded her that Black Panther had plenty of humour, and GotG literally sends itself up all the time, and even has a goddamn dance off with the villain, yet it still made me care enough to cry about the death of a tree!

Ragnarok had me wondering why Thor tortured his brother, do heroes do that now? Thor isn't even an anti-hero, he's just straight up hero. That scene just left me cold, it wasn't funny and because it was played for laughs, I didn't empathise with Loki. I mean, he just looks constipated.

You all know how much I love Loki, I've written enough stories about him, after all, but Ragnarok Loki is just meh. I care that he was being tortured from an intellectual perspective, because it feels wrong for the hero to do that, and his betrayal of Thor cam out of left field, but I don't feel sympathy for him. I can't relate to him, I feel neither love nor hate for him, I'm just indifferent (to all the characters actually).

The only thing that rouses any emotion in me is Taika and the rage his mishandling of important issues and dismissal existing character arcs brings out in me.

Contrast this torture scene with GotG, which had me sympathising with Nebula while she was being tortured because, sure she's a bad guy, but she's also a well rounded character and her torture wasn't being played for laughs. We know she's been tortured, in one way or another, her whole life. Yes, she's bad, but I can relate to her because I understand her.

Then this Taika fan said something that was more telling than she knew, and was actually 100% correct. Taika thinks comic books are ridiculous, and he's out here making a Road Runner movie.

And it suddenly hit me, she was right.

Everything in Ragnarok is treated the same way an anvil falling on Wile.E.Coyote's head is treated. There are no consequences. There are no lessons learned. There are no character arcs. At the end of the Road Runner series neither the roadrunner or the coyote had changed in any way. They were 2 dimensional, both literally and figuratively.

Unfortunately for her argument, 30 years ago we had what is still arguably the best cartoon Batman series ever, Batman the animated series. It took it's two dimensional animated characters and gave them three dimensional personalities. 30 years later it's still hailed as brilliant.

And I think that's why Classic Loki and GotG can take utterly ridiculous characters (let's face it, all superheroes are ridiculous to some extent) but while some even acknowledge how silly their comic book heroes are, they actually take the characters, the story, and the issues raised seriously.

Yes, Classic Loki looks like a joke, but he's never viewed as one from the crew's perspective.

Alligator Loki is even more preposterous! Who even made his horns, and who puts them on for him? But while the show acknowledges how silly he is with our Loki's questioning, he's a Loki and everyone treats him as a Loki. Yes, he injects some comic relief, but the laughter is never at his expense. He's even shown to be able to hold his own in a fight.

Rocket is a talking raccoon, but he's never laughed at. In fact he's even pitied once you learn what happened to make him that way. He's ridiculous, but he's not a joke. And yes, he makes jokes about how ridiculous they all are (bunch of jackasses standing in a circle) but while a comedic character, the joke is not on him. He's a fully formed, well rounded character. We care about him.

Yes, Star Lord is an idiot at times too, but his heart is in the right place and he wants to do the right thing. So you think he's gone mad when he has a dance off with the villain, but you quickly realise he's being an idiot for a very good reason and is playing to his strengths (and using idiocy as a strength is clever). I think we also understand, because he's a fully formed character, than his humour is a defence mechanism. He plays the fool because that's the niche he's carved for himself to help him cope, but that doesn't mean he is a fool.

Ragnarok wanted to be GotG, but Taiks forgot the part about while it's ridiculous and fanciful, the characters aren't a joke.

To Taika, if it doesn't get a laugh, it's not important. The few serious or touching moments we get are as a result of the MCU bigwigs forcing changes in reshoots, or forcing Taika to stick to the script.

There are no character arcs. You could argue that Loki goes from villain to hero or anti-hero, but he's already been through that journey in Dark World. Why did he regress? Who cares, it's not funny, he's just a bad guy again, forget about the plot holes and just laugh at the guy being killed smelling like toast!

Thor turning away from his father's teachings, like T'Challa did, would have been a wonderful character arc. Seeing his dad, realising his dad was wrong that and he needs to do better, and calling on his own inner strength to protect his people. That would have been a fulfilling arc. Instead he still needs advice from his colonising, slaver father. And this is actually one of the few scenes that wasn't played for laughs. It had so much potential, yet Taika just didn't care enough to reach for it.

Ragnarok is a road runner movie where our heroes toss a series of ACME anvils and dynamite at each other and the bad guys, but like the RR cartoon, there are no consequences. Just like Wile.E, they get straight back up again and lob another anvil at someone.

Hulk has been murdering innocent slaves for quite a while now, but he doesn't care. You'd think Bruce Banner might care about what his alter ego has been up to but no, this good, gentle, introspective, intelligent and caring man doesn't give one single fuck, because it's ACME Hulk and murdering innocent slaves has as many consequences as crushing them with an ACME anvil.

And I think that's the difference. Yes, your characters can be utterly ridiculous, but the crew must take them seriously and make them fully rounded characters who face consequences. Consequences are how we learn and grow.

And if they don't take the movie or characters seriously, you end up with a 2 dimensional story that no one cares about, because you haven't given them a reason to.

I don't care why Wile.E is trying to kill RR. I don't care what his motivation is. I don't care when he gets squashed or blown up, or falls off a cliff, because he's not a character, he's a caricature.

Ragnarok is just a collection of caricatures.

[wri0thesley]

This is gonna sound so stupid, but the idea of a new La Squadra member who is book smart but a complete dumb ass at everything else gets to me. Like they can do math and have so many science/history facts and could probably recite Shakespeare by heart. But the moment you ask them when the last time they ate was they just blank out. They are fully capable at their assassin job, but they can't tell if the guys hate them or not because what are social cues. Like. I would love to see how the boys react to that type of a person. I don't know it that made sense at all.

under cut for length!

♡ Risotto honestly kind of gets this himself. He’s the kind of man who throws himself whole-heartedly into the one thing that he thinks needs to get one, at the expense of all of the other things - up to and including remembering to do things like eat. He’s not particularly good at social clues either; he kind of makes up for not knowing these things by being so tall and broad and intimidating, so people don’t tend to bother him. He still sometimes wonders, when the rest of La Squadra aren’t around, if his team actually like and respect him. They do, of course - but Risotto still feels like he’s wading through syrup around them. So he understands this new recruit better than some of the others do - although he’s a little baffled by their spouting of random facts when they get nervous. He’s much more likely to go all-over quiet than he is to ramble. 

♡ Formaggio likes to poke and needle at them, because he thinks it’s funny when people blow up. He reads social clues really easily; he’s a people person. But, as the ‘heart’ of the group, he’s good at watching out for when he might be pushing them too far. If he notices they haven’t eaten or haven’t slept in a while, he won’t go out of his way to cook for them or push them into bed - but he might offer a slice of the cold leftover pizza he’s eating, or move up on the sofa and say ‘hey, come and have a sit down, I’ve got a blanket!’. He wouldn’t like it if you pointed it out, but he’s actually surprisingly caring. 

♡ Illuso, like Formaggio, likes to poke and needle. Unlike Formaggio, he’s not quite as sweet about it - he may very well push you too far because he thinks it’s funny. He’s learnt social cues by watching people and he can tell when you’re uncomfortable or at your breaking point, and he’ll continue to push it just that little bit further until your eyes fill with tears. He tries to laugh it off as just normal team stuff; it’s actually just that he’s kind of an asshole. That being said, though, he’s actually very impressed by your intellect. Intelligence is something that he values in other people. You’ll know he trusts your smarts, at least, if he comes to you for help trying to crack some patterns or puzzles in a mark he’s working on. 

♡ Prosciutto is frustrated by you. You clearly have plenty of talent; your work as an assassin leaves a favourable impression on him. He appreciates people who are whip-smart and clever and subtle when it comes to the art of murder. He just doesn’t understand how you can be so bad at everything else. He tries to take charge of you, barking orders to remind you that you should eat and sleep and don’t forget to stretch before going out in case you end up in a fight! If he sees someone who has potential and is at risk of not using it to its fullest, he can’t help but want to make them be better. Congratulations; you’ve received a mentor in life skills and human rapport. Unfortunately, Prosciutto isn’t the most patient mentor to be saddled with--

♡ Pesci’s scared of most new recruits of La Squadra, and you’re no exception. He finds your intellect frightening and intimidating. Prosciutto never outright says that he doesn’t think Pesci is smart, but Pesci picks up that feeling from the raised eyebrows and sighs of the other members of La Squadra. Still. Pesci will make friendly overtures to you if he notices that you seem out of place in La Squadra - he remembers being the newbie all too well. He’ll listen to your facts and be dutifully impressed by your skills. Pesci wears his heart on his sleeve, at least, so you’ll know that he doesn’t hate you. If you can befriend him, he’s a loyal friend to have. 

♡ Melone at once has similar problems to you and very different ones. He tends to be overbearing; he doesn’t quite understand other people so he tries to be overtly friendly instead of pulling back, often making him come across as creepy and unhinged. Whether he is those things or not is up for interpretation - whichever it is, you’ll soon find that (like Pesci), he’ll be very friendly towards you and seemingly wear his appreciation for you on his sleeve. He’ll be even more friendly as he finds out that you’re good at your job, as he sees how clever you are. The two of you are very likely to find a common ground in facts and numbers and figures and debate, all of which Melone enjoys immensely. Surprisingly, he also cares about the mundane things like if you’ve gotten a good night’s sleep - that kind of biological process to do with the running of your body is of an especial interest to Melone! And woe betide you if you’re a good candidate for his Baby Face; you might not even understand what Melone is asking until it’s too late. 

♡ Ghiaccio is a very difficult case. He’s frustrated by people who he thinks do not act cleverly or intellectually - and you clearly have the capability for it, even if when it comes to social situations you falter. He tends to get very angry at you for exact same kind of stuff that he does himself. Only, where you’re shy at hold back for fear of offending someone or your teammates hating you, Ghiaccio is physically incapable of doing something such as ‘holding back’. Expect your relationship with him to run hot and cold, depending on what the current thing he’s steamed up about it - but when it’s running well, the two of you make an amazing team. 

♡ Sorbet and Gelato like to watch you trip up, because it’s funny. They don’t go out of their way to bother you too much, though - the two of them know that the way they are with other people is hardly what most people would call normal. If they have to work with you, they roll their eyes at one another and harshly correct you when you look about to make a social faux pas that’s going to cost them the target, but otherwise they’re very likely to let your existence peacefully happen. They’re glad that you’re a competent assassin, but they’re not the kind to throw out praise for no reason. They’re a little too concerned with one another to be too bothered about your little foibles. 

[chrichri-chan-18-love]

Predator’s heir (Yandere Warrior King Katsuki x Hybrid Dragon Reader x Yandere Prince Charming Izuku.) Bonus.

Things after that fatefull encounter were anything but simple. 

The Warrior King had told his parents about his discovery and about his desire to have you as his wife. They saw no reason to refuse but his mother warned him not to push his luck when dealing with a dragon.

Izuku had also spoken to his family and advisors... and those old greedy goats were at first fearfull of what such a woman could do if displeased... but that changed as they realized that they’d have one of the most powerfull breeds of dragon on their side and thus wouldn’t have to fear other kingdoms ever again.

As for you....well, you had been going from one kingdom to another and had been meeting with other dragons in hopes of finding a suitable mate. Unfortunately, the only male that had caught your eye already had a mate and the rest were brainless idiots or stuck up divas, treating dragons of lower ranks like trash and being the definition of disgust.

Now, once you actually took a small break from all this search, some interesting news reached your ears... some humans were after you. They wanted you as their mate.... and that had the word “trouble” written in giant, bright letters. 

“A human... mate?” You mumbled as you rested inside a cave, still in dragon form and hoping that seeing you as you were now would make any unwelcomed visitors leave. It wasn’t unsual for dragons and humans to become mates at some very rare cases... but usually humans hunted anything that was alive for their own personal gain. And that didn’t only involve supernatural beings such as yourself, they’d even hurt their own kind just so they could gain more power, it was disgusting and insane.

As you began to relax, you heard hooves approaching the cave, raising your head you managed to see the same two males that you had met at the lake a while back. You began wondering how they found you, given that you mostly flew high above the sky, making sure that humans wouldn’t be able to see you clearly. They had no humans escorting them, it was just them and their horses. However you could feel the power of enchanted items... meaning that they were prepared to fight, kill or capture any supernatural being that came too close. 

You reversed to human form and came closer to the cave’s entrace, not close enough to be seen but you were able to hear the blonde one shout about how annoying it was that he couldn’t find you.

“She’s a giant flying lizard! How the hell is it so hard to find her?!”

“Kacchan! I won’t let you insult her like that!”

“You wanna fight you useless piece of shit?! Huh?!”

“You said we’d fight only when we’d have her with us!”

Then it dawned on you, that these males were the ones that wanted you as their mate. You slowly looked at them, starting from the blonde one.

 You had to admit that he was quite handsome and seemed like a strong mate, his attitude was less that appealing. And he didn’t really look smart, which could lead to more problems than what it was worth. 

You then looked at the green haired male. He didn’t seem strong and thinking back to the moment he and this blonde male talked to each other, it felt like you’d most probably end up protecting him without even realizing it. But he seemed quite clever.

You sighed and decided that resting in this cave was not the smartest idea. You got closer and jumped off the entrance, landing a few meters away from them. They both looked at you and were shocked by your entrance, you didn’t even turn to look at them, stretching your arms and slowly walking down the road.

Then they threw their enchanted items on you.

“She’s fast.” The blonde one said.

“Of course, she’s perfect!”

“Not only do you humans not introduce yourselves but also have the nerve to attack me? I ought to tear you to pieces.”

The two males looked at you shocked... they had seriously forgotten how lovely your voice had been, after all you had only said one sentence back then... but now that they got to hear it again...

“Oh! I’m sorry! My name is Izuku Midoriya! I’m the prince of a nearby kingdom!”

You nodded and then turned to look at the blonde one, he smirked and looked at you proudly.

“I am Katsuki Bakugou, the Warrior King! And you are coming with me!”

“Ha ha, no.” You said in a stoic, cold tone.

“Then would you please come with me? I’m sorry for attacking you but I was scared you’d leave before I could talk to you!”

“And tell me what?”

“Please marry me!!!”

You blinked and raised an eyebrow, you’ve heard that humans “got married” as proof of becoming mates... so you assumed that he was asking you to become his mate.

“Fuck off Deku! She’s mine!”

“She rejected you!”

“She didn’t agree to marry you either loser!!!”

“Both of you, shut up!”

No sooner had that command left your mouth that they literally stopped talking and looked at you. They seemed surprised but one look on their pants and anyone could see the effect your tone had on them.

“Please, I promise I’ll be a good hus- I mean mate!” Izuku pleaded, his eyes growing wider as he stared at you adoringly.

“Ha! I’d be a better match for her, any day!” Katsuki said and the two glared at each other.

“Why on earth do you want me to become your mate?”

“Too many reasons and I keep finding more right now!” Izuku said and Katsuki nodded.

“Yeah, no. I’m searching for a mate from my own kind.”

The two looked at each other and before you could so much as blink, they had jumped on you, forcing four metal bracelets on your arms and legs. They had the power to keep you docile for a total of seven hours.

“Sorry, darling... but we can’t let that happen! I promise I’ll do my best to make you happy!”

“Yeah right, she’s mine!”

“So who exactly is supposed to be my mate?” You asked and they glared at each other. They moved away but made sure to trap you in a magic circle to ensure that you’d go nowhere.

“It’s time to settle this Deku!”

“Actually Kacchan... why don’t we just share. If one of us dies, there will be war. Your people are strong and brave but my people are more advanced. Either way, it’d only lead to disaster.”

Katsuki stopped and seemed to think about it. He looked at you and then Izuku.

“And what about her?”

“We can both love her, besides she first needs time to get to know us better. And hey, whoever charms her first, can be the father of her first child.” Izuku said and that got Katsuki’s attention...his family and Izuku’s had been on friendly terms... so they’d definetely alter a few laws if it meant keeping the peace between them... and Izuku’s idea of that harmless little competition sounded like fun.

“All right then,Deku. But if you even try anything funny, I’m going to rip your heart out and feed it to wild animals.”

And now, without really knowing how or why, you found yourself with two human mates... and judging by the way they were eyeing you, it wouldn’t be long before you were with young. 

This was going to be the beginning of a nightmare.

[melrosing]

It is so weird watching the show and seeing how much they lionized/whitewashed Cersei, Tyrion, and Tywin while dragging Jaime through the mud. It’s so weird because by removing Jaime’s actual love story and growth, removing Tyrion’s darker impulses, skipping the fallout from Tysha reveal, eliminating fAegon & Stoneheart, elevating Cersei’s role in the story, they basically left nothing for either of the Lannister brothers to do besides stand around, make speeches or go on pointless side quests.

Yeah, I’ve been wanting to go into the whitewashing of certain Lannisters for a while because it’s so plainly a thing they’re doing, but I can’t quite put my finger on why? Because I think the reasons kind of vary depending on which Lannister you’re looking at.

Like in Tyrion’s case I think it’s pretty straightforward: he’s a fan favourite, the good guy on the bad side - I think the popularity Tyrion had at the time (dude was iconic whilst early GOT was airing) was something D&D were unwilling to compromise, and they felt GRRM’s shades of grey would do just that. So they made the bizarre choice to leave him completely stagnant, just sounding a little more tired as the show went on. I mean, they were so desperate to keep Good Man Tyrion that they made Shae’s murder an act of self-defence (...and then never really raised it again because turns out fans still weren’t really okay with it either way).

Tywin and Cersei is... a weirder case? Like D&D’ve full on come out and said they consider Tywin ‘lawful neutral’ (Tywin? The guy who ordered the gang rape of a child purely to hurt his own?? Are you sure about that???), and I think it’s obvious they think of Cersei somewhere along the same lines, but with a whole lot more gendered ‘but she’s just a girl! just a lady! just a mum!’ thrown in. D&D wrote all these kind of nurturing moments for both, where they try and make out that all the extremes the Lanns go to, they do for the love of one another - and I think they think they’re doing something clever like ‘humanising the bad guys’ with that. But in Tywin’s case it’s senseless considering what this man has done in their own show, never mind the books... and in Cersei’s case it results in a fuck load of misogynistic bs that I ranted about the other week.

Thing is, I think they do extend this to Jaime, in a strange way. I’ve heard people say they think Jaime in the books is meaner and crueler than Show Jaime, to which I just have to ask ‘where?’ because Book Jaime has a sharper tongue, sure, but Show Jaime has a way higher crime count, along with no clear desire to actually improve himself (Brienne is the one who has to keep reminding him to do it). I think these additional crimes are included to keep Jaime on Cersei’s moral level if I’m absolutely honest, because D&D do genuinely believe they’re only as bad as each other (à la ‘she’s hateful and so am I’). 

And yet at the same time, this Jaime kind of acts soft when he’s not doing Cersei’s bidding, so the audience goes ‘oh, he’s not so bad!’ Even though... he’s not so good, either. But what ‘Soft Jaime’ does is bring ‘softness’ to House Lannister. Because this isn’t really supposed to humanise him, it’s supposed to humanise them. It’s used to make the family behind the atrocities look like ‘just normal people fighting for their family, albeit on the wrong side of things’. He’s used to make Cersei more sympathetic, because through Jaime we get to see this vulnerable, motherly Cersei that D&D came up with. He’s used to make Tywin seem like a more fatherly figure, too i.e. through the reading lessons, the father-son chats, plus Jaime actually managing to get teary-eyed over the guy’s death in S7 lmao, none of that’s in the books but it’s in the show. 

The second Jaime departs from KL, Team Lannister becomes entirely unsympathetic (and no, D&D, the baby isn’t helping), so he’s sent straight back to bring some of that back, because D&D do believe that somewhere deep down, the Lannister cause is about love and family (it isn’t), and they needed the twins’ soft basement death to communicate that. Cersei by herself is a villain fighting for the throne and for power (book Cersei, in short), but Cersei combined with Jaime is ‘just parents trying to protect baby uwu’. Look! Sympathetic villains! For your consideration! 

So ultimately Soft Jaime is there primarily to provide a sympathetic lens for the bad guys i.e. his dad and sis, because see what Jaime sees! Cersei’s just a lovely mum, Tywin’s just a strict but otherwise loving dad, and hey, they all love each other even if they’ve got funny ways of showing it! (congrats on missing the point of the Lannisters completely!! congrats on missing how GRRM actually uses Jaime to show how cruel and unpleasant Tywin and Cersei really are, even to the person they supposedly love most!!!)

What does it all mean?? no fucking idea, I think D&D were just very taken with the idea of ‘grey characters’ but had no clue what it means to explore the darker shades - in their mind, it’s about finding a justifiable reason for everything their villains do, and trying to make them out to be otherwise almost decent. Why is this such a big thing with the Lannisters and not... Ramsay or Euron or something? Probably just because the Lannisters were popular and the actors were amongst the strongest in the cast and so they devoted their best character writing to them, only unfortunately their best character writing is um... shit!!!

tl;dr honest to god can’t summarise this, just purging my brain of some thoughts that I hope at least distantly relate to your message

[just-jordie-things]

Meeting JJ at the midsummer party and slipping and falling into his arms?

You lived on the Figure Eight, much to your dismay.  It wasn’t as luxurious as literally anyone made it out to be.  You hated it here, every part of it.

You hated the yachting, you hated spending all day on a boat sitting around or playing cards.  You hated golfing, you once even hit your own foot as hard as you could manage with a club just to get out of it.  but most of all, you hated your poser of a family, and their poser friends.

Everything was always about appearances.  Appearing wealthy.  Appearing happy.  Appearing well mannered.  It was all bullshit.

And right now, you hated the Midsummer Party.

You hated it every year it came around.  Nothing made you more uncomfortable than this stupid fucking party.

You’d spend all day getting ready, prettying yourself up to your parents standards.  Caked on makeup, hours of perfecting the braided crown around your head, and even making sure every loose curl that fell around your face was perfectly bouncy.

You’d wear a dress that wasn’t your style, even if it did kinda accentuate your curves...

And then you’d sit around all night, dying of boredom.

Your parents would mingle with their fake friends, brag about you where they could, and you’d wish that you could drink yourself to death.

This year however, you had the privilege of watching a certain blonde waiter make his rounds with drinks and hors d’oeuvres.  You didn’t know he was a server, usually you knew all the servers because you’d spend more time talking to them than any of the Kooks. 

But it was a pleasant surprise.

You'd maybe had a crush on JJ Maybank since grade school.  Even though he was a Pogue and pretty well known for hating Kooks.  You couldn’t help it.

He was so cute.  And he was funny.  And you’ve had this dumb crush on him for the longest time.

You spent most of the night just watching him with heart eyes.  He looked good in a vest and slacks.  Real good.  It made the night a little easier.

However your legs were stating to fall asleep from sitting around all night, and it wouldn’t kill you to do a lap around the party.

Of course as soon as you caught the attention of Rafe Cameron, your mindset changed.

He let out a low whistle, his hand grabbing onto your wrist before you could keep walking.

“(y/n) (y/l/n),” He greeted, eyes raking over your body.

You couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your throat.

“You look good.  Have you been here the whole night? I haven’t seen you around” 

“Yeah, that’s cause I don’t like you” You reminded him, and snatched your hand out of his hold.

You often had to remind Rafe of that fact, but it never seemed to do the trick.

“You want a drink?” He asked, already taking a glass off of a passing server’s tray, handing it out to her.

“No, thanks” You shook your head, and turned to head off in any other direction.

He stopped you again, this time his grip on your wrist tighter than before.

“Rafe cut it out-”

“You know, I don’t get why you don’t just chill out and give me a chance” He said, like it annoyed him.  Your brows furrowed, and you rugged on your hand again.

“Rafe, listen to me when I say this, never in a million years” You said as seriously as you could.

“Jesus Christ! Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time!” He yelled loud enough that he was gaining the attention of Kooks around them.

However, instead of realizing something shady was going on, they all juts walked away in embarrassment.

“Rafe, let me go,” You told him, trying to pull out of his grip again.  “You’re acting like a crazy person” You hissed.

“And you’re acting like a stuck up bitch! Can’t you see that I just like you?” 

Yeah right! You thought, and kicked him in the shin so you could finally yank your arm out out of his slightly threatening grip.

You were successful, for about two seconds.

Because you put too much force into shoving him away from him, you tripped over your heels, and next thing you know you were being sent full force into a server behind you.

Lucky enough for you, that server was quick to react, and suddenly you’re not crashing onto the floor, but you’re being held in the arms of- of course- JJ Maybank himself.

You think this might be more embarrassing than falling on your ass.

“That did not just happen” You mumbled, in shock that you even fell, but that your crush of six years is literally holding you in his very strong arms.

He chuckled, mistaking your comment as a compliment of his grace and swiftness.

“Charmed?” He asked teasingly, and then helped you back to your feet.

You were speechless as you adjusted your dress, and still a bit embarrassed by the whole thing.  JJ didn't seem to mind though.

“Are you alright, though?” He asked, now glancing over to Rafe, who had stupidly stuck around, probably to bother you some more.

“She’s fine, she just tripped” Rafe answered for her, again, stupidly.

JJ already had a bone to pick with Rafe Cameron, but to see him hassling some poor girl who clearly had no interest in him would have been icing on the fucking cake.  So he glared at the Kook before looking back at you.

“Are you alright?” He asked you again, his hand resting on the small of your back.

You could only manage a small nod, because he had very beautiful and very distracting blue eyes.

But when you turned back to Race, you swore you could have swung at him right then and there.

“You son of a bitch-!” You shot forward, about to slap him, or maybe grab him by the neck, you weren’t sure.  But before you could decide, two hands wrapped around your hips and pulled you away.

“Woah there firecracker,” JJ laughed at your outburst, then a bit by surprise. “Let’s not make a scene”

You ignored him, for once, trying again to lunge at Rafe, but two arms wrapped around your middle, pretty much trapping you in place.

And then you were being dragged away completely, because JJ was starting to get the feeling that you were more of a fighter than you seemed

“I swear to god Rafe, if you ever touch me again I will hit you with my car!” You screamed after him, despite JJ dragging your ass away from him.  “If you even look at me again I’ll do it! I will!” 

“Okay, calm down princess,” JJ hushed once he got you around a corner, away from the prying eyes of the Kooks.  

He finally released his hold on you, and despite really wanting to, you didn’t make a break to finish what Race started.  You stayed put in front of him.

“The hell was that about? He bother you often?” He asked, his hands on his hips like he was scolding you.

Well, he was scolding you.

“Often? Try every day.  It’s Rafe.  You know Rafe, right?” You scoffed.

It dawned on JJ that he didn’t know you all that well, which was odd, because your personality was bursting at the seams, and so far you seemed pretty cool.  For a Kook.

“Right,” He chuckled.  “Something tells me though that you’ve never tried to kill him before” 

He was still laughing, and your brows furrowed, before you crossed your arms.

“Are you making fun of me?” You asked, making him laugh more.

“I mean, you’re kinda hilarious”

“Hilarious? You think I wouldn’t hit that asshole with my car? Because I will- I’ll run him down-”

“I believe you, I believe you,” JJ cut you off before you could say anything too incriminating.  “You’re just, a Kook, is all” 

That didn’t seem to help, as now you were leaning back against the wall you were standing at, and your brow raised.

“And what makes you think that makes me any less murderous, hm?” 

He laughed, and was about to say something stupid, probably.  Some off handed flirty remark that usually worked on the girls around The Cut, but before he could pick one of the lines, a security guard was grabbing him by the back of his vest.

“You’re not a server here, are you?” The large man asked.

“Ooh, tough question.  Am I serving the people? Yes.  Am I being paid? Unfortunately not.  I’d like to have a discussion about a raise though!” 

“Alright, can it Maybank” The guard muttered, not amused one bit by JJ’s clever banter.

You watched with great amusement as JJ was dragged away, similar to the way he’d just dragged you away from Rafe.

“Doesn’t feel too good, does it?” You called with a shit eating grin, following next to the guard.  

Darryl was his name, he always worked the Midsummer Party.

“I like you.  We should hang out” JJ replied smoothly.

You giggled, and tapped Darryl on the shoulder.

“You can let him go, he’s with me” You said in your sweet Kook voice.

“This guy?” Darryl asked, looking down at JJ unsurely.  “Thornton and Cameron just told me he was causing some trouble-”

“Don’t pay them any mind Darryl, they’re just jealous,” You replied, and wrapped your arm through JJ’s as casually as you could manage.  “You know they’re always up to no good” You added for good measure.

The guard still seemed unsure, eyes sliding between you and JJ.  Something didn’t add up.

But he wasn’t paid enough for this.

“He’s your date now?” He asked, mostly because that’s what he would say when inevitably some high ranking Kook got upset at the presence of a Pogue at their party.

“Sure is” You replied confidently.

And just like that, he was heading off, not bothering to ask any other questions.

You grinned, and pulled your arm out of JJ’s.

“So, you want to hang out now?”

___

a/n this was longer than I planned but I like it :3

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

How would describe shameless to someone who never heard of it? How would you describe the specific characters?

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these super fun asks, but thank you so much! :D It’s funny that you sent this because I did actually describe the show to someone not too long ago, and I didn’t like how I did it in hindsight. I felt like I didn’t do it enough justice. So, I get a second chance to try again!

“How would you describe Shameless to someone who never heard of it?”

Shameless is a show about how life doesn’t always go our way, we don’t always do the right thing, and we’re all imperfect beings—but we still deserve a chance regardless. The Gallaghers begin the series nearly at rock bottom, doing anything they have to for their literal survival, but also to keep their family together. Sometimes that means supporting each other when they’re in a difficult spot, banding together to help their neglectful father even though he doesn’t deserve it, or even committing petty crimes to sustain their meager way of life. As they get older and have more agency in and control over their lives, the nature of their problems shifts, and they learn from their own mistakes rather than reacting to their parents’. The same trends unfold for the people and families in their orbit, showing that various trials and tribulations can impact anyone of any social standing. Not everyone gets a happy ending; not everyone gets what they want. However, they grow and learn how to manage both the hand that they’ve been dealt as well as the bed they’ve made for themselves. That, after all, is life.

Shameless is a “dramedy” where the comedy elements utilize primarily satire, which sets it apart from the popularity of slapstick and dry comedies over the last decade. By nature, the show therefore addresses difficult, uncomfortable, and controversial topics in manners and utilizing methods that are designed to make us laugh at the absurdity while forcing us to think about these topics in ways that we may have avoided otherwise. This format has been established since the pilot episode and certainly is not to everyone’s taste. I wouldn’t recommend this show to anyone who prefers that such issues be addressed with a deeper analysis on the part of the characters rather than the audience, which is the general tendency in drama pieces rather than shows of this genre.

“How would you describe the specific characters?”

For this, I’ll focus on the main Gallagher family, Kev, V, and Mickey, as they’ve been the constant presences on the show since the start. I’ll also keep it relatively short since I could write essays on each one, and that would bore anyone who hasn’t heard of Shameless (and 95% of those who have) to tears.

1.      Frank Gallagher is the stereotypical “deadbeat” who plays the system for every penny so that he doesn’t have to work, choosing to fund his addictions rather than support his family. He will go to any lengths if it means preserving this lifestyle—mild, absurd, and even heinous. He functions as something of an anti-hero, being more a threat to the family’s stability in early seasons than a boon and gradually sinking into obscurity because of his children’s growing indifference as he burns one bridge after another with them. Frank prides himself on espousing only the values that will get him what he wants in a given circumstance. In specific instances, that has meant showing a measure of love and affection for his children that evidence has proven exists deep, deep below the surface. In others, he’s a wild card. Frank’s various fatal flaws have included arrogance, addiction, selfishness, and an avoidance of any and all responsibility.

2.      Fiona Gallagher is the eldest and began the series as the rock of the family because, to put it simply, she was the only person able to do it. She selflessly cared for her younger siblings so that they wouldn’t be scattered into foster homes or adoption thanks to her parents’ neglect, even to the point where she gave up portions of her life and blurred the lines between her roles as sister versus caregiver, which became a sticking point in later seasons when her siblings didn’t need or want a mother-figure anymore. While Fiona was initially very responsible with regards to raising her siblings, she therefore sacrificed a lot of opportunities that were important for her development as a young adult and exhibited an immaturity typical of people her age that impacted other arenas of her life, especially relationships. As her role as caregiver dwindled, that immaturity and the norms prevalent in her environment became more pronounced with her newfound freedom, and she struggled greatly in the face of what she viewed as making up for lost time. Fiona’s various fatal flaws have included ambition, a “martyr complex,” and viewing her family as an impediment to her ambitions later in life instead of a support system.

3.      Lip Gallagher is the oldest son. He began the series with a hefty chip on his shoulder. Intelligent, quick-witted, and calculating, Lip was constantly referred to as a sort of diamond in the rough and clearly came to believe it. This led to a very fascinating dynamic within the family and his other interpersonal relationships as his love for and desire to protect his family was balanced by a sense that his way was the best way—the only way, really. A combination of poor choices and unfortunate circumstances beyond his control resulted in a very real “fall from grace,” by South Side standards, and Lip has worked hard to claw his way back from where he was in the middle of the series. Where Fiona spiraled further as she withdrew from her family, Lip leaned on them and others in his support system—and it saved him. Lip’s various fatal flaws have included arrogance, contempt for power structures in which he is not at the top, and trying to solve other people’s problems at the expense of dealing with his own.

4.      Ian Gallagher is the middle child and something of an outlier in his own right where his family is concerned. He began the series seeming to have his shit together: he balanced school, ROTC, and work, excelling in all three at just fifteen years old. He was plagued by his status in the family at times, not old enough to have more control over his situation while not young enough to shrug off a lot of it on Fiona and Lip, and wanted something for himself more than anything. It’s that combination that put him in an extremely vulnerable position, because while he was the picture of responsibility and didn’t orchestrate as many scams as his siblings (though he was involved in plenty—he is South Side and a Gallagher, after all), it gave him—and his family—the false impression that he was more mature and in control than he was. Multiple older men preyed on him because of that, and in his thirst to find something that was solely his and someone he could care for outside his household, he viewed them as relationships rather than abuse. Like Lip, Ian truly hit rock bottom in a different manner, although the causes of his descent were more heavily skewed beyond his control. In true Ian form, however, he remains driven to find the straight and narrow—and stick to it as much as he can. Ian’s various fatal flaws have included ambition, a “hero complex,” compartmentalizing to the point of narrowmindedness or naïveté, and ignoring his own needs in pursuit of fulfilling others’.

5.      Debbie Gallagher is similar to Lip in that she has always been clever, cunning, and driven to get what she wants. Debbie began the series in a difficult position, going to school and contributing to the household while ultimately not in control of anything that was going on. From the start, all she wanted was a functional family, and it colored her behavior throughout the first six seasons of the show. In many cases, that meant doing whatever she could to hold everyone together: investigating Fiona’s lying boyfriend, running a daycare so that Fiona could work all night and still find time to sleep, prompting Fiona to more actively worry when Ian ran away and helping Lip locate him, and caring for Liam a lot of the time while he was a baby. Over the years, as the dysfunctions racked up, she sought an escape through boyfriends and a baby of her own. The means by which she attempted and ultimately failed to achieve these goals were at times reprehensible and spurred on by both her immature ignorance and the culture in which she was raised. Debbie’s various fatal flaws have included self-centeredness, envy, manipulative tendencies, and not thinking or caring about the implications and consequences of her actions for herself or the people involved.

6.      Carl Gallagher began the series as a real mess. The word “sociopath” comes to mind. He was the stereotypical “wild child” whose behavior embodied the dysfunctional nature of the family and their environment. He destroyed toys for fun, tortured animals, physically bullied children at school, and was held back multiple times for poor academic performance. Carl was never as academically bright as the other Gallagher siblings, but his street smarts were nigh unparalleled and, like Lip, he could probably survive anywhere. Over time, Carl underwent a remarkable transformation: embracing the negative stereotypes of his environment, he dove towards rock bottom with gusto only to realize that the thug life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Once again, he paralleled Lip and Ian’s trajectory in leaning on his family when it became too much, and he’s turned his entire life in the opposite direction to pursue a path that he hopes will lead to helping people rather than hurting them for his own gain or reputation. Carl’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, a penchant for violence, and ignorance.

7.      Liam Gallagher is still very young and therefore tougher to fully characterize as his development isn’t as extensive. Right now, he’s the same age Debbie was when the show began, and we’ve seen just how far she’s come. So, for the time being, Liam is extremely bright and has grown up with a great deal more privilege than his siblings. He doesn’t remember saving for the squirrel fund with fears of not being able to eat all winter in mind. He doesn’t remember what it’s like to worry about Frank or Monica’s actions having an enormous and lasting impact on them. He doesn’t remember Lip dropping out of school and moving out of the house, Monica’s actions at Thanksgiving, Fiona crying over crumpled bills from working at the sport bar, Ian going missing for four months and coming home a different person, or Debbie lying about Patrick just so they could keep a roof over their heads. Liam didn’t grow up with those things, and so he has the luxury of being a kid a bit more of the time. However, because his parents aren’t around and Fiona left the house a long time ago despite being his guardian, he has matured quickly in lieu of any real supervision.

8.      Kevin Ball and Veronica Fisher have been the Gallaghers’ closest allies in the neighborhood all this time. Kevin isn’t the brightest academically or in terms of common sense, but he has a good heart and makes the best decisions when he uses it. He has been through a lot, between foster care as a kid, a crazy ex-wife, trying to keep the Alibi afloat, and raising twin daughters that they definitely didn’t have the means for when they discovered that they were expecting two kids. And Veronica… Well, she’s quite literally his other half. She’s savvy and smart, intelligent and assertive—they complete each other. They began the series as an established couple experiencing some growing pains, especially when Veronica was giving the Gallaghers everything from use of their shower to their toaster while Kevin insisted that they needed to focus on themselves before they could help Frank’s kids. (He talked a good game, but when the chips are down, Kevin has always been there for them too.) They’re good people who’ve been given a few bad shakes and taken a few wrong turns, but their love for each other, their kids, and the Gallaghers has made them a surprisingly strong heart of the show. Kevin’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, ignorance, and not standing up for himself. Veronica’s various fatal flaws have included avoiding communication about her feelings and indecisiveness.

9.      Mickey Milkovich is the stereotypical personification of their environment. He began the series as a poor thug—and a dirty one, at that—who exuded such a presence in the neighborhood that he instilled fear at a mere glance. His family functioned as a foil to the Gallaghers, perhaps what they would have been if Frank had been a different person or they’d fallen even further. Mickey didn’t benefit from an emotionally supportive family that banded together to provide for more than merely monetary concerns, not to mention that his father was openly and violently homophobic, so it took a great deal of time and overcoming numerous internal and external hardships for him to come to terms with who he is on many levels. Over the years, Mickey was self-employed or acted with his family as a drug dealer, a pimp, and a prison hitman; worked for a drug cartel; and has engaged in any number of other scams and illegal activities in order to make ends meet—and he has been quite happy to keep doing so as it plays to his strengths. Mickey is remarkable, however, because he has always been a multifaceted character whose problematic decisions, abrasive mannerisms, and questionable lifestyle didn’t and don’t negate that he cares very deeply and will do literally anything for the few people he allows to get close to him, specifically Ian. Mickey’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, avoiding communication about his feelings, and not reaching out for help when he needs it.

~*~

That was quite a bit longer than I initially intended, but I had a great time putting this together. Thank you again for the ask! 

[lassieposting]

Hey, I saw you did a hc thing for Scaracen/Dexter and I was wondering if you could do one for Ghastly/Skulduggery?? (I love the pairing but there is no content and it makes me sad) Hope you are having a good time :)

I genuinely thought I had done this for ghasdug but apparently not? I can't find it anyway

There is content in my ghasdug tag but tbh in my experience the ghasdug shippers are on discord mostly...hit me up

ANYWAY

So. Ghasdug. Ghastly wants skug from the start.

They're 16 when they meet. Ghastly gets a bit seasick and doesn't really want to go anywhere by ship, but his mama tells him he needs to, there's something important for him on that ship, that one right there, and he trusts her enough to know that she's clearly foreseen something and to just go with it.

By the time they get back to shore, he's already thinking, it's you. I was supposed to meet you.

They head back to Dublin together. Ghastly's mama takes one look at this awkward, skinny, skittish child and decides she's adopting him, and skug moves into their farmhouse and is subsequently freaked the fuck out by his very first experience of A Loving Family. Ghastly's mother like, hugs him and reminds him to wear a coat and clips his ear for swearing and makes sure he eats breakfast. He is semiferal and not used to any of this.

For a few months they settle into a comfortable routine:

- Ghastly's father spends the week making clothes, then does commission deliveries one day and takes hats and boots and suchlike to the market the next.

- Ghastly's mother has a job as a barmaid, where she gets to regularly crack some skulls and socialise, which is great for her because she is both a short-n-stocky powerhouse and a giant extrovert.

- The boys spend most of their time together, and they're supposed to do the bulk of the chores. It's not a large commercial farm - they have a vegetable garden, and some chickens, and an old carthorse, and maybe a couple of goats or a cow for milk and cheese. Ghastly and Skug are supposed to cut firewood and feed the animals and fetch groceries from the market and milk the milkable animal and fix this and repair that. All the things the parents dont have time for

Which. Is great in theory but skug has never had to do a hard day's work in his lazy aristocratic life, and develops a severe and immediate allergy to manual labour, so actually ghastly tends to do most of the chores while skug skives off and naps in the sun or chats up the girls who live on the neighbouring smallholding over the fence

And like, therein lies the problem, because they are both solidly in the grip of that cruel mistress called puberty and like. Skug was a fuckin weird-looking child. He had big ears and a sharp nose and a bunch of missing teeth and his limbs were all too long for him. But he's now rapidly growing into all the features that made him an unfortunate child, and it's already clear that he's going to be one of those people who will, inevitably, grow into handsome young men.

Which is like. Fine. Ghastly doesn't care. He's not jealous or anything. He doesn't feel a twinge when the neighbour girls only speak to him to ask about Skulduggery. Nobody here is bitter.

It's a good thing, he tells himself. Nobody will want to marry him anyway, so he's glad skug is around now so Mother can harass him to meet a nice girl and give her grandchildren. At least someone will probably want to have children with skug.

He has a dream about skug not long before his 17th. They share the attic room, and when he startles awake, skug is smirking at him from the opposite bed and asking "who is she?" and ghastly thinks oh no. He's painfully embarrassed and awkward about it, and skug rolls over and stretches and says, "relax, bespoke, your secret is safe with me" and all ghastly can focus on is that he's actually been putting some muscle on lately and when he stretches like that it does funny things to ghastly's insides.

- they start riding into town in the evenings to meet up with hopeless at the tavern, play cards and flirt with pretty girls. Or rather, skug flirts with pretty girls. He's all legs and freckles and elegant clothes, and they hang off his every word. Ghastly knows they will never look at him like that. He's Skulduggery's ugly friend. Girls only approach him to ask about skug

- and he gets it! Skug is unfairly attractive! And he's witty, and clever, and sometimes when ghastly wakes up first he stays very quiet so he can watch skug sleep, the way the dawn turns his hair to burnished copper, the way his curls fall across his forehead and the patterns his freckles make on his skin. Skug is an affectionate, tactile drunk, and hopeless looks at ghastly with something like pity whenever skug rests his chin on ghastly's shoulder or leans his head on ghastly's knee or wants a piggyback back to where they tied the horse, and ghastly takes what little he can get and says nothing.

- they're coming home drunk in the pouring rain one night, later than usual, riding doubled up on ghastly's carthorse. ghastly is behind, loosely holding on around skug's waist, and the whole way home all he can think about is how close they are and how much he wants to lean in and put his mouth on skug's neck, and by halfway home he's reduced to silently begging his semi not to pop a full on hard-on until they're home, when skug will crash like always and ghastly can take care of himself in private

- when they get home, they're locked out, which is what they get for coming home well after ghastly's parents are asleep, but this isn't a one off and ghastly's mother always leaves blankets for them to sleep in the barn. so they put the horse away and give her a rub-down/groom together and skug's shirt is practically see-through and his hair is plastered to his skull and ghastly can't take his eyes off the visible jut of collarbone where the neck of skug's shirt is undone and skug makes a couple jokes about it when their eyes meet, how ghastly has been brushing the same bit of horse for as long as it's taken skug to do half his side, but then the third time he laughs and teases, "if i didn't know better, bespoke, I'd say you wanted me" and ghastly will forever blame the alcohol but he doesn't even think about it? It comes out before he can stop himself, before he has time to remember what it could do to their friendship

- he says, "what if i did?"

- skug goes quiet for a minute, and it's a tense sort of quiet, not the thick, cloying tension that comes before a storm or an argument but the light, vibrating tension that comes with standing on a cliff's edge or drawing a bowstring, and then he ducks under the horse's head to come around to ghastly's side. He's still a little shorter than ghastly, still has to look up ever so slightly to meet his eyes.

- skug says, "do you?" like it's still half a joke, and there's a chance to back out right there, to laugh and deny it and let this become an amusing footnote at the bottom of their friendship, but ghastly ignores it. "yes."

- skug shrugs, his lip quirking, and says, "so have me."

- ghastly learns a lot that night. he also accidentally blurts "i love you" when he comes, but nobody's perfect and he's...relatively...sure skug was too distracted to have been paying attention, so he'll count that as a massive win

- morning finds them in the hayloft, tangled up in the blankets left out for them, regretting their choice of tavern beverages and, in ghastly's case, sporting a classic case of morning wood. He's kind of hoping he'll get lucky again with sleepy morning sex but skug is disgustingly hungover and just wants to burrow his head into ghastly's chest to block out the light and go back to sleep so like, out of luck.

- when skug has slept off the booze a bit more, Ghastly awkwardly broaches the question of "just how drunk were you" and they establish that they both remember fucking, neither of them regrets it, and the attraction is apparently mutual? Which is a mindfuck for self-conscious teenage ghastly, because, like, why tho

- they both get to do the walk of shame into the house when ghastly's parents wake up. Ghastly's shirt hides the nail marks skug left on his back nicely; sadly, the same cannot be said for the giant hickey he left on skug's throat, and he is eternally grateful to his parents for not bringing it up (he'll allow his mother her raised eyebrows. She did it quietly)

- they just sort of? happen, after that. There's no conversation about what they are to one another, so there are several crossed wires and feelings get hurt, but they always move past it. They both have phases of going off with someone else - but they keep ending up back together regardless of how much they argue.