#i was typing on my phone the whole time

[wishchip106]

watching dark pheonix rn live commentary

charles hair looks wacky af girl get a fringe cover the forehead or something

he’s signing the adoption papers thats his daughter 😿

it said it was 1975 this does NOT look like the same school from dofp 🤨

WHERE DID ALL THE TREES GO???

ok now we’re in space huzzah 1992

uh oh the rocket broken

HE’S BALD

he got the president on speed dial damn

RAVEN WHAT IS THAT HAIR COLOR fuckass bob

no one getting that basketball back damn

nyoom

charles really needs to get side rails in cerebro other people go in there too they gonna fall off

he connected to nasa

yikes ominous space dust ☹️

raven is literally the leader of the x-men

ITS THAT WOMANS FAULT FOR MENTIONING THE CAPTAIN

how tf is jean breathing??? 🤨

that blast should’ve killed BUT ALSO HOW IS SHE CASUALLY FLOATING IN SPACE??

that part of the pheonix force or something?

the xmen got fans thats crazy 🤨

charles keeps canceling classes does anyone actually learn in this school?

RAVEN UR THE ONE WHO STARTED THE XMEN

“i actually can’t remember the last time you were risking something” saying that to the man who is bald and in a wheelchair???

idk whether this is bias or not but honestly charles doing stuff with the press and getting people to like mutants and the xmen is a good thing???

i get raven is upset about risking their lives and such but its honestly that or being persecuted and hunted down daily 🤨🤨

pissing me off

dinner party wowie

intro to the most forgettable xmen villian ever

fucking tree aliens what the flip

oh damn his chest constricted

dazzler!!! 🤯🤯🤯

jean thirsty damn

why is raven hiding still i thought mutant and proud meant something

raven if ur upset go to genosha or something

charles is besties with the president lol

jean needs to get a new skincare routine her skin cracking

charles dad senses starting tingling (despite being a shitty dad 👀)

does no one else get that if charles didn’t put shields in place in jeans mind a lot more people would be dead??? like obviously he could have slowly taken them down over time but still 🤨

one of the writers might have beef with charles

jean going after her deadbeat dad but she doesn’t know that

they planning to manipulate her

yikes flashbang

how tf jean get there so fast

knock knock its me ur estranged daughter

bro does not look happy to see her

raven clearly has beef with charles

this a “lets all blame charles” movie

struggling forreal i’m defending him every five minutes

jean realizing her dads a deadbeat blaming her for her moms death damn

if he had to pick between saving his wife or jean he would pick his wife

charles wearing his ex’s clothes 🤨

scott being like “i love you pookie dont leave me 🥺”

the girls fighting

raven being the one who steps up

ah shit she dead ☹️

jean really flew outta there

sad moment r.i.p raven

hank is angry

“is it true? jean killed her? 🤓” BRO SHE JUST DIED SHOW SOME RESPECT

girl going straight to the alcohol, some habits dont die

“its your fault she’s dead” BITCH THAT WAS HIS SISTER

you cant expect charles to admit when he’s wrong thats what he and his ex-husband have in common

“no civilians past this-“ ”fbi” “oh okay” can anyone just do that? walk up to a crime scene and say you’re fbi

bro killed him

GENOSHA

jean going to her stepdads house

ERIK HELLO

bro why he fly like that 🧍

did he really make his furniture really low down 🤨

waiting for his husband

wouldve been better if he had white hair 😔

damn military

jean in a killing mood

magneto saving human lives 🤨 never thought i’d see the day

bro looks so stupid oh damn he was flung

“i am protecting them, from you” DAMN no one wants to help her

the president revoked his bestie privileges after one incident

charles struggling

girl are you drinking age 🤨 i sure hope so i’m a rule follower

yes who are you jean

OH DAMN DIDNT NEED TO GO THERE

heheh charles sleepin

biggass binoculars

“what? no charles?” girl i think ur a tad bit obsessed

he yaps about him to anyone who listens

his bestie dead oh no 🙁 give him a sec

welp time to kill her that’s totally what raven would’ve wanted

damn those aliens got a nice place what the heck

woahh space and shit oh wow the milky way

the aliens were lurking

she is special yeah

she lying girl don’t listen she gonna kill you (although that wont really stop you)

whats this bald lady’s name?

i wanna see all the other stuff erik keeps in that box

i can see charles actually descending into depression this is crazy

lol they all putting him in place give him a break 😢

boutta reconnect with my ex wish me luck 🤩

erik trying to act cool in front of his friends

woah f bomb

charles im gonna kill ur daughter sorry not sorry 😁

hair whip

“ur not the only one who can control minds 😏”

girl this is the worlds most powerful telepath maybe think about this for a second

the girls fighting again

bitch pulled a train out of the ground tf did you need that for???

making a grand entrance

damn getting his skull crushed like the first people he ever killed

he got throw out the window ☹️

yeah girl thats ur dad

NAH WHY DID THEY DO THIS

MAKING THE DISABLED MAN WALK WTF

that alien really got her claws in her

yes please see that charles still loves you (AS A DAD)

thats her dad 😿

i hate this alien ur ruining the moment

no don’t give it to her ☹️☹️

scott to the rescue

THEY TAKING THE XMEN TO THE POUND DAMN

oh damn charles admitted he was wrong good job

maybe bring these guys to therapy or something

erik thats ur stepdaughter chill

the aliens have hijacked the train 🙁

once again humans being stupid

he clearly just healed from those bullets why are you still shooting

hell yeah train fight scene

LMAO SHE JUST DIED

anyway moving on 😁

kurt’s angry now

WHAT WAS THAT EVIL GRIN

honestly feel like charles could do a lot more

yay magneto being cool as fuck

okay all the lackeys were defeated onto the main boss

oh damn storm got blasted

“you wanted her dead” “i had a change of heart” bro never decides whether or not to be evil

dad-daughter moment

at least they’re all still on the train

“i know what you did, you did out of love” THANK YOU JEAN

hell yeah marvel girl

we nearly at the end guys 🤯 (talking to myself)

damn she disintegrating all of them thats cool

she got stabbed ☹️

nvm she good

final boss moment

cgi hair battle which one looks more like its underwater

oh no don’t disintegrare ur bf

go to space you’ll be fine girly

lots of cgi going on

she died 😔

its fine she come back

thats a cool looking bird

you’ll be fine scott she does this from time to time

girl lost his sister AND his daughter someone check up on charles

bro completely erasing charles legacy damn 😔

its time for the gay people 😁

gonna appreciate this scene hold on

god these guys are so gay

bro staring at him with love in his eyes

IM SICK OF THEM RAAHH

love you cherik

and thats the movie

my dad told me the aliens were supposed to be skrulls but since captain marvel came out earlier in the year so they had to change it lmao

anyway go home the movies finished

[justsalpals]

Me, staring at the ceiling: It's silly how much I'm getting caught on that one line from Verosika in House of Asmodeus. She very firmly claims Blitzø "did no reciprocatin'" and from her attitude seen in Apology Tour I don't believe she would lie about that. At first glance this lines up pretty easily with what we know of Blitzø, namely his selfishness, disconnect with relationships, and tendency to push everyone away in his self-loathing. Aligning these known behaviors with Verosika's testimony of his sexual habits does track, however-

While we can gather that Blitzø has had many a sexual partner in his time, likely communicating poorly with all of them, the one we have the most window into his sex life with is Stolas. And they pretty explicitly have a BDSM relationship wherein Blitzø acts as dominant, quite often featuring restraints, blindfolds, and gags. A role which would require a lot of work and focusing on his partner, and always seems to leave Stolas quite satisfied in the end. These two views of Blitzø seem contradictory: is he the self centered imp who won't go down on his girlfriend, or the attentive dom whom Stolas can trust to surrender control to for their full moon trysts?

My cat: :3

Me: I've come to the conclusion that he is indeed both. Think back to Blitzø and Stolas' first encounter as adults. As we all know, Blitzø did not enter that interaction with a genuine intention to fuck that bird. He was purely seducing for distraction and thievery purposes, tying Stolas up only for the sake of absconding with the grimoire. The blindfold, the biting, it was all a ruse that he just sort of stumbled his way into in the moment.

I'd go so far as to argue: this is not the typical way Blitzø had sex up until that point. While indeed being the more experienced of the two, I believe in that moment Blitzø was just as clueless about BDSM as Stolas.

My cat: -screaming for food-

Me: shush shhh wait a sec I'm going somewhere here.

In it's own way though, isn't that beautiful? Even though their relationship started as strictly sexual, through each other Blitzø and Stolas both discovered a new side to themselves that they hadn't considered but clearly enjoy. Blitzø was put into a position where he had to consider his partner to a degree he hadn't in the past, had to have someone put their trust in him, knocking him out of his comfort zone and into something more vulnerable than he'd let himself express in the past. While I doubt they've been entirely SSC or responsible with each other along the way, I think them both fumbling into this dynamic and trying desperately not to appear inexperienced to the other is a beautiful mirror to their later romantic relationship and in this essay I-

[neutralitymybeloved]

When you're reading Ao3 in a public space and someone notices you and asks, "Is that fanfiction?"

[dustyspines]

i step up to the mic. i say: the actual cursed child is cedric. the crowd boo and throw tomatoes at me as i leave. they don’t know i’m right.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 20 thoughts

oh man! i really loved this episode. no aliens, no overarching plot, just some silly shenanigans and yeah, some murder, but in a far more lighthearted fashion than in other cases. filler episodes i love you soooo much <3

from the beginning, i thought the prompt sounded really good... shoutout to people who work in sideshows and other touring entertainment industries, y’all are real for that 

we open with some kids laughing under a full moon… nothing could be scarier… except SOMEONE WATCHING THEM!

and whoever it is, they are approaching the pool with feet out. where are their parents to safeguard them from stranger danger, i ask into my screen!

OH he is the dad!! what was once scary has now turned heartwarming. he splashes about in the pool with them and says they need to get ready for bed. aww. 

BUT NOW SOMEONE IS WATCHING HIM IN THE POOL!! NOOO the heartwarming session HAS BEEN CANCELLED... is he being EATEN???

(as he is killed, the camera shows a van with the words “alligator man” on it... at first i'm thinking that the alligator man was the creature who just Ate this guy, but turns out the father WAS alligator man, so named for his skin condition. rest in peace mister alligator, the world is a worse place for ur loss)

and now the agents are looking into his murder :(

(also, in the opening credits, we see that one of the guest stars is named “the enigma”... I’ll have to look into their work)

mulder says there have been a lot of murders in this fashion over the last 28 years, and they have been going all over the country!!! it seems to involve some sort of round bite mark. must be time to go investigate.

they roll up the the alligator man's funeral. honestly it is sad! and we see that the widow slash mother of the kids is a bearded lady and she is absolutely serving but this is a very sorrow-filled moment for them all

and interrupting the moment in which his community remembers the warmth he brought to their town, his casket starts moving… and someone emerges from the ground… and stabs himself in the chest with a spike???? HUH???

so the deceased was an escape artist but was forced into the sideshow circuit because of his skin condition… scully says she didn’t know sideshows were still a thing… which is honestly fair because it is a very vintage sort of entertainment. and they have a Not So Great history.

BUT if the people who live in this town in the summer are all traveling performers.. and if they have been touring for years... and the murders go on for years… hmm, it seems things are starting to add up

mulder notices a drawing of a creature on the menu of the restaurant they are sitting in, and he asks who drew it. why, the sheriff says, it's the artist named hepcat, of course! cut to him tending to his freaky mermaid. he describes his scary maze business as “a tabernacle of terror” 

mulder asks what the drawing on the menu was, and i was thinking, hmm, looks like the fiji mermaid, and hepcat says it is the fiji mermaid, and mulder doesn't seem to recognize it?? i assume this is one of those situations where he acts like he doesn't know what is going on to get more information because i feel like that is Exactly the sort of thing he has read about at length. like i had him pegged as a guy who could write a dissertation on the subject at the drop of a hat. so i think he's lying but narrative wise it isn't fully revealed. 

scully: “what’s the fiji mermaid?” hepcat: “it’s the fiji mermaid!” <- thanks this clears up a lot <3

mulder is acting surprised to hear that the top half of the fiji mermaid was a monkey, which i again assume to be an act? but he says that the tracks at the murder look monkey-ish. so perhaps there is a correlation...? between the very active murder case and that time PT barnum sewed a monkey and a fish together? hey, the dots aren't connecting for me, but i don't work for the fbi so what do i know

they go to get a place to stay and the guy operating the rental place, a kind and verbose fellow with dwarfism named mr. nutt, gives them their keys. and mulder asks if had worked in the circus, (and since everyone they have met so far has in fact done so, i feel that this was a fair question, but maybe i also deserved what follows), and mr. nutt really lays into him about making judgements, and maybe some people with dwarfism want to manage hotels...

and as all of this goes down scully just observes. wow. she let him flounder. lmao.

the man carrying their bags is named lanny, and he has a conjoined twin sort of situation, it's not entirely clear- but he says mr. nutt got him to work there because he believed it was undignified to work in the circus. hmm.

back to hepcat at his studio… listening to some groovy music... and something crawls in his window… looking like the fiji mermaid. and it BITES him.

next morning. mulder going for a jog. in a sweatshirt and sweatpants in florida heat. what in the hell was he thinking??? let’s analyze that while a man chomping a fish emerges from the river. we receive no real clarification on what is going on in either of their minds.

scully in bed. alerted to a murder by lanny. still in a robe. we get a shot of her chest and also lanny's brother that felt mutually uncomfortable. SMH no rest for her!

okay, examining the scene of the murder. mulder notices some blood on a little window and WHY DID HE TOUCH THE BLOOD NASTY!!!! NASTY!!!

they deduce that to fit in the window, the suspect would have to be a contortionist…. and they walk out to see a contortionist. it’s the spike guy that so disrespectfully ruined the funeral!!

he puts a nail up his nose in front them. and mulder pulls the nail out. probably to get some blood. not an easy watch still.

we learn here that the guy with the puzzle tattoos who was eating the fish in the river earlier is called “The Conundrum”, and the spike guy slash contortionist is dr. blockhead

dr. blockhead gives the conundrum a bunch of crickets and he gulps them up; then he offers crickets to the agents and scully TAKES one, says thanks, eats it, and leaves LMAOOO????? never let them guess your next move....

mulder is staring at her trying to figure out if he is in love with a woman that just ate a cricket and if this is something she does regularly and JUST KIDDING!!! she didn't eat it silly!!! she "reveals" the lil cricket behind mulder’s ear awww... her uncle was a magician <3

(he also does a lil slight of hand trick and pulls out the bloody nail, saying "everyone's uncle was an amateur magician", which i am sure they can bond over at a later date)

scully goes to a museum that says "freaks free, everyone else leave a donation" and she puts in some money… publicly declared non-freak 

this guy at the museum is touching her. don’t care for that. but I like that he knows lots of random information. and he won’t show his whole face, we as the audience only see him through mirrors. very cool framing device.

he says he will take her back and show her something of barnum’s for another $5 and sworn secrecy. good luck bucko; last time she was told to keep a secret (affair baby) the SECOND she was reunited with mulder the tea had been spilled LMAOOO. he hands her a paper featuring jim jim the dog faced boy, who, dare i say it, seems to be a king.

he leads her into the back rooms… scary. but her trench coat is serving though

okay, deep in the back is a trunk. and it’s empty and opens an exit door. NOOO she was scammed! it’s all part of the hustle. 

(well, that is what i THOUGHT, at least, until she realizes it leads to the sheriff's house, and things are adding up...)

mulder sees something crawling about. it’s the guy who owns the rental space, mr. nutt, under scully's trailer! he asks why he is under there and mr. nutt says he is NOT being creepy. mulder flirts with the man and he runs away LMAO... weaponized bisexuality 

agents are in the trailer having a nerd off and it’s not clear who is winning and there is romantic tension. sheriff hamilton used to be jim jim the dog faced boy???? what a reveal!!!

we are watching them watch the sheriff dig a hole during a full moon. average agent bonding activities. he buried something in the ground and goes inside. 

they are in his yard digging up what he was just digging and mulder has taken his earlier roasting to heart and says “we’re being highly discriminatory here” and clarifies that’s no reason to suspect him of being a werewolf and it’s like well. i don’t know that we both thought he was a werewolf. they pause to consider the moral weight of their actions then keep going.

uh oh! sheriff catches them!!! not a good look being caught digging something up. “We’re exhuming… your potato” is the best line that usually quick-tongued mulder could come up with, which had me losing my MIND and i proceeded to write a very long keysmash to express my amusement

“may I ask why?” (she starts monologing about serial killers taking positions in law enforcement and needing to monitor him as as suspect, and it’s convincing) (he cuts in: “we found out you used to be a dog-faced boy” STOP THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY) and she looks soooooo guilty!!

he doesn’t deny it and says he started balding on his head which put him out of a job. fair enough, gotta pay the bills.

next genius dialogue exchange: “that doesn’t explain the potato” “I got some warts on my hand” “...that doesn’t quite explain the potato” 

(i kept having to pause in rapid succession to write these lines down because i was laughing SO hard)

has anyone thought that maybe a man wants to bury a potato in his yard in peace…. like that’s how we get more potatoes…

“to get rid of warts you rub a sliced potato on your hand and bury it under a full moon” <- new life hack just dropped!!

nooooooo the conundrum is chasing the dog… dog escaped. everyone is pleased. he brings a check to mr. nutt and it’s rent!! king of paying his bills on time. but dog is still barking... NOOOOO MERMAID ATTACK ON MR. NUTT!!!

someone with bloody hands bursts into scully’s room and she must have her gun right by her pillow, and she gets it so fast, but it’s just lanny, saying he found mr. nutt dead... they truly hate to see a hard working entrepreneur in the field of hospitality winning 

the pin at the scene looked like something from dr. blockhead, so they go to his house to investigate and he is full of hooks. i made a noise like whAUUUWAUUHWAUH and mulder is looking intensely at what's going on there. blockhead goes on some cultural appropriation bs. um sir this is weird timing bur you are under arrest.

he gets out of the handcuffs- contortionist and escape artist! but the sheriff catches him by the hooks. what a KING! shoutout to this sheriff, formerly jim jim the dog faced boy, can we add him to the team? skinner are you hiring?  

just as our agents apprehend their suspect, we see that the mermaid creature is in the room with lanny!!! but... he isn't hurt?

OMG the twin inside him IS THE MERMAID??

lanny confesses to this when he asks how it would be possible to turn his "brother" in without turning himself in...and he thinks the mermaid fellow hates him and is looking for another brother which is so SAD but he says he’ll come back

is anyone concerned about the twin crawling out of lanny? well, mulder knows he isn't the man in charge here: “scully, you’re the medical expert… I believe you” yessir it's good to remember that!

the mermaid brother appears to have run off into the "tabernacle of terror" and mulder trying to hold a little evil mermaid at gunpoint is SO comical

their asses are lost in the maze!!! scully pulls a gun on a rubber skeleton that fell from the ceiling!

she's trapped in a mirror room to serve infinite looks in all directions, and it looks like mermaid baby is caught... she fires.. but it hits the mirror!! baby mermaid brother escaped!!!

at this moment, mulder slides through a trapdoor... and it was SO funny pls tell me there's a gif set of that somewhere because i need it...

baby on the loose... bad news!!! conundrum is being eaten by the baby twin…. but what if he eats him FIRST, i ask myself, and received an answer in the form of baby being gone and conundrum rubbing his stomach!!!! yassss!!! diva down!!!

the next morning, while everyone is searching for mermaid brother, we learn lanny died that evening of a condition related to alcoholism. we learn this while dr. blockhead and the conundrum are getting ready to leave.

and dr. blockhead's going on about the future, and how nature needs freaks, and in the 21st century everyone will look perfect… "just like him" (points to Mulder majestically posing by a trailer) LMAOOOOOO “imagine going through your whole life looking like that!!!” <- yeah it must be really hard....... /s

at last, conundrum and blockhead are taking off into the great unknown... scully points out he doesn't look too good…. CONUNDRUM TALKS???? “probably something I ate", he says. LMAOOO his voice is sooo normal 😭😭😭

this episode had me laughing. we really had it all: exhuming a potato, scully's valiant attempts at lying, mulder hitting on a guy, lessons in ableism and judgement, a man who eats crickets and fish, flirting over case details, a dog, scully doing magic, mulder running in the florida heat dressed like it was a new england winter. truly i have nothing that could be added.

and did i have a secret evil mermaid twin on my list of probably monsters of the week? no, i cannot say that i did! was it the most compelling or scary of creatures? not really! but i was filled with whimsy. cannibalism saved the day. an excellent episode, and a perfect contrast to earlier in the season when scully was literally About To Die and i was crying a lot over the whole thing. ah, the duality of TV shows!

[insanefastone]

it was a lot easier to ask for things for christmas when i was younger. i was five, so if i was shown a toy i probably would say i wanted it. being a five year old, i mostly cared about the receiving part - a stuffed dog, a bucket of tiny horses, a playmobil train, didn’t really matter, it was mine now. a few years later pokemon began airing on tv and anything with pikachu on it was guaranteed to be a hit. im unsure of the occasion but i remember being given literal math practice books at some point and loving doing my additions and multiplications because they were pokemon themed. it was truly so, so easy.

then i got a little older and my desires started to get a little more complex. pikachus were still pretty cool and all but i wasnt happy with just any toy anymore: i cared about my cartoons and the things i saw in commercials, and so i would ask for those things. i knew about super soakers, and nerf guns, and moon shoes, and sock ‘em boppers, but i also knew the difference between, say, a stuffed animal of a brown dog and one of scooby doo. i knew disappointment, too, because i could tell when i was handed something in lieu of the other. at the time i couldnt have possibly understood why the substitutions got made, but i could see when it happened.

then i got a little older and developed hobbies and preferences. i had opinions on things, i had feelings, and i started to learn how to express these ideas. i could articulate why one thing could not be a substitute for another, and how i felt when it was handed to me anyway, and also what i thought about being given a great many things i did not ask for instead of those that i did. i became frustrated with clothes and socks and other such things because i knew that when i needed them we could go get them. they didnt feel special or thoughtful. they seemed like an excuse to have one more box to hand me, one more thing to play coy about, one more thing to ooh and aah at and take photos of when i eventually held it up. and so the ideals of gift-giving began to erode.

of course, i hadnt quite learned of the whys. they were specifically kept from me, and from my sisters, so we could play family (as it were). theyre pretty evident now, knowing what i know as i type this, but at the time things kind of just. crumbled away. there were some nice surprises where the spirit felt alive and real, like the year we received ipod nanos. (3rd gen, i think? they were skinny but still had a touch wheel with the button in the center.) i remember crying incoherently as i held mine, and i also remember my entire family being stunned and confused (they clearly hadnt expected that reaction either). i think i was simply overwhelmed to have been given such a nice thing after coming to expect disappointment.

there was also the year we were given the gamecube, and our game boy advance sps, but they didnt feel as special because we knew it was mostly since an older cousin had given us her super nintendo and our parents wanted us to entertain ourselves. it actually led to a lot of frustration that our parents didnt attempt to understand, because you cannot do ‘similar to’ with a video game unless you actually bother to find out what it is. which really started to highlight what felt weird about the gift-giving all those years: whose thoughts, exactly, have gone into this ‘thoughtful’ gift?

it’s a hard question to answer, and really depends on who you are talking to. this being tumblr, i can assume someone reading is familiar with ‘i see a cool bug/rock/blorbo’ -> ‘i send it to my cool bug/rock/blorbo friend’. it’s kind of ingrained in the culture. but we also (largely) understand that theres variance and specialty within these categories, that not all blorbos are the same, and that most blorbos are very different, actually, to the point where people debate what constitutes an ‘actual’ representation of the ones they care about. but theres also people that dont care that deeply and are mostly only there because their friend is, or because they like the character’s design, or any number of other reasons, and knowing where to meet them on their interest kind of requires knowing more than just ‘oh they like this’.

and so we get disconnects, and misunderstandings, and disappointment, and frustration. and we get not knowing why one thing is ok but another isnt, or why you can interchange two things but this third one is unacceptable, it seems like theres no way of knowing but could you have known? was this there all along? did i skip i question or, more importantly, pass on an answer i was given? and so i think upon such things. and i see where things could have diverged, or evidence thereof. and i consider that to give and receive not only requires two, but also a connection to have been made. ‘oh!’ you might say, ‘that mug has a pikachu and some snowflakes on it! i always send something with a pikachu, this will be that this year!’ and you mail it and it sits on my shelf, unused. collecting dust. i dont even use it to store anything.

and so i began seeing what the thoughts were. i saw that i was given twelve balls of yarn in six different colors because theyre fun and aesthetically pleasing, but the thought did not contain ‘this is not enough of an individual color to make anything larger than hat and scarf’. i saw i was given a shirt that says ‘# serf life’ on it because it was meant as a family joke and i do think it is a funny shirt to wear, but the thought did not contain how i felt about what the joke references at the time it became a ‘joke’. i saw i was given some books i had asked for by title and volume number because i have been trying to get the entire out-of-print series, but the thought did not contain ‘i wonder why candy only ever asks for these specific books’. over several years i saw i was given many books that are similar to but not within the series (or even genre) i was obsessed with because they get sorted together as ‘humorous coffee table nonfiction’ at bookstores, but the thought did not contain what i liked about that series (trivia compilations), why i stopped reading that series (poorly verified), or why i had nothing to say about most of the previously gifted books.

and it goes on. years of this. we even do a grand show of sharing our christmas lists with each other, and fussing about getting under one roof to share them, and making a whole ceremony (complete with photographs) of opening everything, and sharing ‘oh i was at this place and thought of you when i saw it’, and it goes round and round and round and i am always just sitting there wondering if the next thing thats handed to me will actually have me in mind or it will simply be ‘thoughtful’.

i just dont know what to ask for christmas anymore.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[copia]

TICKETS ‼️ BUT AT WHAT COST

[onyourstageleft]

[moonstandardtime]

fun fact loop calls the "call loop" craft a ritual. so that has some interesting implications

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[fragmentedlegends]

Different cooking styles of the muses—

Astor: The best way to describe it is elegant? Akin to food served in fine dining, Astor likes to take his time with proper brining, seasonings, particular cuts of meat, plating, etc. Everything he does is very intentional and builds off his knowledge of food and cooking.

Ganondorf: Efficient. While Ganondorf has the knowledge and ability to cook, he prefers to spend his time elsewhere. So if he is cooking, it’s to fuel and sustain. Expect a one pot meal that’s packed with protein and spices.

Rhoam: Camp-style. Most of his cooking days were spent in the army and it shows in what he likes to cook with lots of simple, but yummy, recipes. He loves cooking with fresh protein and produce most.

Sonia: Cozy. She’s one for cooking soups, porridge, pudding, rice and chicken dishes—the sort of thing you would want to eat after coming in from a cold rain. As a midwife, she always had fresh sweet rice porridge ready for the new mama to enjoy post-birth.

Revali: Simple. He never really learned to do any complex meals himself. He knows some standard basics and just rotates between them, things like easy stews, rice paired with a simply seasoned protein, etc.

Link: Mobile just deleted the entire section for this so rather than type it all back out I will simply say—he’s an amazing cook and he’ll cook whatever sounds tasty regardless of how inconvenient it may be.

[brightwoods]

Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?

Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too

Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift

Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now

Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC

Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead

(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)

And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later

I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff

And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together

And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC

Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?

And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation

Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?

[rimouskis]

sigh someone on twitter extolled the virtues of furiosa and said it was better than fury road. I just saw furiosa. they are wrong.

[merge-conflict]

Do you remember the first cell phone you had?

Yes, although I can't for the life of me remember the brand or anything. It was a hand-me-down from one of my siblings or maybe my parents, a little gray flip phone that fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Had a little antenna with some cat chew damage, and the outside also was a little battered from me dropping it. And maybe a few of my teeth marks from that time when I hung up a call and was very very angry (you remember how you used to be able to snap shut a cellphone when you were done with a call and it felt soooo satisfying? (I remember putting the phone in my mouth and biting it but I can't for the life of me remember why. teenage breakup?)). Don't think I ever texted on it, or that I had texting since it was expensive. It was basically just a tool to call my parents to pick me up because they'd taken pay phones out of the school around the time I got it. I remember being exceptionally envious of my friend who had a job and bought an iPhone when they were new.

My next phone after that was another hand-me-down– a Palm Pre which I still miss and was a surprisingly sturdy phone with a flip out keyboard and survived being accidentally dropped in a snowbank and then dried out in rice (a myth which somehow worked? I guess it didn't get that wet) and was found by my coworker who brought it to me the next day when I had just realized it was missing. Ahhh... simpler times when my phone wasn't constantly glued to my side. Then I got a Samsung Galaxy S4, which is one I still actually have and I think is flashed with some weird custom OS with an octopus splash screen.

[razorsadness]

the night before last, i felt better, and i went out to paddy o's. drank streams of whiskey, and - there was a boy. (there is always a boy. my heart quickens so quick, and then just as fast it all fades.) this boy, this boy. i will call him the circus boy. because, see, i played tom waits on the jukebox. "gun street girl." he called from across the room - who played tom waits? i raised my arm. fuckin' awesome, man. (all this said with hints of southern accent.) not so long later, he joined myself and levi at our table. (of course this was all a problem, because levi was there, so i couldn't really flirt, but i couldn't stop myself from flirting, either, and sam gets upset which is ridiculous because we're not even together anymore, goddamn.) the circus boy. it had already been established he is a tom waits fan. & then, i found out he's from asheville. & then, he made some offhand comment about have you been in the circus or something?, i'm not even sure what it was in reference to. yes, actually i have. really? - eyes lit up like a christmas tree - i just came from the circus. oh.

(and then, yesterday, online messages from him, about how much he loves my songs - especially "the show is over," he said, because it sounds like an old pirate shanty. - and to say we should play music together sometime. he is a musician, too. of course.)

and who knows if anything will come of it, and maybe that doesn't even matter. i always need a little yearning in my life, and sometimes i think the yearning is better than the actuality. the german romantics called it "the blue flower" (blaue blume) - it stood for desire, love, and the metaphysical striving for the infinite and unreachable. rebecca solnit calls it "the blue of distance" - something is always far away. when you get whatever that yearned-for thing is, it loses some of its mystery, and you start to yearn for something else. when you finally pluck the blue flower, it begins to wilt.

[from a journal entry, 12/14/07]