#i was trying to keep that from happening... so it was DEF NOT ON PURPOSE but yk

[justkpopjokes]

SVT’s reaction to your first kiss

A/N: Whoops I took 6 years to write this,,, Thank you to my mutuals who pushed me to do this all those years ago 😂 Kept this all fluff!! Requests open btw ^^

Ft. gender-neutral!reader

Initiates the kiss first: S.Coups, Joshua, Jun, DK, Mingyu, The8, Dino

S.Coups

Wants the kiss to be perfect and overthinks it a bit because of that

Keeps staring at your lips in the moments leading up to it to the point where you call him out on it

…Which prompts him to finally go for it and lean in and kiss you

Holds your waist to keep you steady (thank goodness because your knees are weak all of a sudden)

Pulls back quickly, not wanting to overdo it, and checks that your reaction is good before kissing you again

Joshua

Is super romantic about it!

He’d def be the guy who waits to have your first kiss until he’s 100% sure you’re both ready

He plans to kiss you after a date and makes sure it’s in a good place!! It has to be an appropriate setting where there aren’t people around to gawk at you both

Asks you if he can kiss you when you’re sitting close to each other

Smiles as he pulls away, watching your reaction to make sure you liked it

Jun

Your first kiss happens before you’re even dating

You watch him kiss in his drama and joke that he looks like a bad kisser just to get on his nerves

He gets (playfully) upset with you like “excuseeee me? I’m a good kisser! I’ll kiss you to prove it!”

Acts out the kiss scene from his drama with you just to show you how good it is

Is all cocky afterward because you’re so flustered LMAO

DK

His first kiss with you is out of excitement! No planning whatsoever

One of you had just gotten some good news—I say one of you because it doesn’t matter who; either of you could have something good happen and he’d be equally ecstatic either way

You’re both jumping out of joy and he decides on a whim to grab your face and give you a big kiss

It’s dramatic and his eyes are in crescents as he smiles at you and your cute reaction

Hugs you tightly right after since he’s happy he got to kiss you

Mingyu

Would kiss you first unless you purposely try to beat him to it lmao

But most likely he kisses you first because every time you even think about kissing him, he makes himself taller to joke about it

As in, if he catches you both standing or sitting really close, he’ll say “heh. Seems like a perfect time to kiss” and puckers his lips before straightening his back so your faces aren’t that close anymore

So he totally catches you off guard when he says it again but actually kisses you this time

Slides his hand into your hair at the back of your head as he tries to deepen the kiss

The8

You get a little tipsy while drinking with him one evening and ask him to kiss you

He laughs and brushes it off at first, but later notices you keep staring at his lips longingly

Is a gentleman and asks you if you’d really like a kiss just to make sure you consent to it

Doesn’t kiss you unless he’s absolutely sure you’re just tipsy and not super drunk (he wants you to remember it)

It’s not necessarily deep, but it’s a long kiss; he wants to take his time with you

Dino

Wants to kiss you first and tries to be all suave about it

Is suspiciously nice to you beforehand to ensure you won’t reject him when he initiates it

Gets lost in your eyes right before he’s about to kiss you, which makes you realize what’s happening

Manages to man up enough to hold your chin and press his lips to yours

Gets gutsy and doesn’t pull away for a while, wanting to kiss you for as long as possible

Is kissed first: Jeonghan, Hoshi, Wonwoo, Woozi, Seungkwan, Vernon

Jeonghan

Your first kiss with him is unexpected for both of you lol

He is quite surprised when you turn his head to kiss him before he can leave from your date

You do it on impulse, so it’s short and he has no time to react during it

You stare at him after you pull away to see his reaction so he stares back at you in shock for a moment before a smile spreads on his face and he asks if you’d like another

Smiles against your lips :))

Hoshi

Blushes really hard before getting super excited

He’s been waiting for it!!!!

Gives you a lot of smaller pecks all over your face as he hugs you because he’s glad he finally can

He might kiss you deeply later, but honestly, he just wants to give you a lot of them first

Absolutely over the moon and brags about kissing you to the guys

Wonwoo

Has been meaning to kiss you for a little while, he just hasn’t found the right moment

So when you kiss him and interrupt him while he’s talking one evening, he freezes and doesn’t know how to react for a moment

Gets a little shy when you laugh at him about his reaction

But he quickly recovers and quietly pulls you in for another (longer) kiss

Thank goodness you’re in private right now because he doesn’t hold back now that you’ve started it!!

Woozi

Your first kiss with him is super casual

(In reality he’s trying to hide how flustered he is)

You’re leaving the studio and he tries to give you a hug goodbye when you gave him a quick kiss on the lips instead

He has kissed your head before, so you don’t really make this kiss a big deal

He smiles and gives you another kiss on the lips to really savour your lips before you leave

Seungkwan

Asks for a kiss in a joking way, not really expecting you to agree

His heart starts racing when you get close and hold his cheeks to give him a kiss

Has a bit of a loud reaction out of shock but ends up giggling about it as he holds your cheeks for another

Has that adorable blush on his face as you exchange kisses for a bit

Asks you for kisses all the time after that day

Vernon

Maybe I’m just projecting…I don’t think he would think about kisses much, so he’s flustered af when you do kiss him

His face goes beet red and he wants to hide when you suddenly kiss him while sort of in public

He liked it a little too much and has a silly reaction as he tries to brush off how embarrassed he is about his reaction

Pulls you into another kiss the moment you arrive at your place, saying he wants to redo it properly

Keeps your noses pressed together after and gives you a satisfied gummy smile

[vaguely-annoyed]

well well well, if it isn't the feelings i said weren't that deep

[wren-kitchens]

something I Hate is when i’ve told someone that I don’t know what you’re feeling unless you tell me, I don’t know what tone you’re conveying half the time unless you tell me, then that someone getting annoyed because I didn’t know they were upset/didn’t know they were being sarcastic and acting like I should have known despite me telling them specifically on multiple occasions

[clownsuu]

Frank/Home anon here, again, with a new idea. we know very little about Home from the mob au, other than hes a god like figure who has immortal control over the family. and we know that Frank is trying to figure out whats happening behind the scenes, and is getting into places he probably isnt supposed to. i know you made a few drawings about Frank and Home meeting, but damn, being faced to face with a GOD has got to fuck you up, not only from their interaction, but the uncanny divinity as well. i like the idea of Frank, not so much falling in line to Homes control, but being so infatuated with him after that he keeps pushing and pushing his luck. imagine fighting against the control for so long, only to be caught because of your own untamable curiosity and need to have questions answered. not only that, but being in the physical presence of an entity whos basically bending reality to their own will? theres a comparison to a moth being drawn to a flame here (or an electric fly buzzer). how do you even recover from something like that, and go back to ordering supplies at your day job? (you dont, lol.) anyhow, you should def drop a few more crumbs of Home lore, to add coal to the train that is my ranting.

Very intriguing very intriguing, that would be the trope of “the most powerful god” x “some weak loser from across the street” HDHDHDH

cw minor spooki

Man art block is REALLY kicking my ass rn-

also a few more crumbs of (mob) Home lore? Well lemme seeeee-

-Home is a entity who works entirely alone (unless otherwise chooses someone)

-He answers to the most weak and vulnerable who calls for him

-he is not a demon (but can be considered a god)

-he is neither defined as good or bad

-Home and Wally are NOT related (home purposely takes a form who’d look like a father to him)

[starless-nightz]

I love your stuff girl and I’ve been on a sbg obsession again and I’m wondering if you could write an Ashlyn with an s/o who dyes their hair differently often (def not self projecting) either way I’ll be back to annoy you with other stuff love your stuff <3

Ashlyn with her S/O who dyes their hair often

note -> I'm glad you like my stuff!

warnings -> none.

content includes -> fluff, she loves your hair, helps you color it.

Every time you come around with a different shade, Ashlyn catches herself staring a little longer than she means to. She's interested in your choice of color and what that might mean, but she'd never ask outright—she'd much rather hear you ramble about it on your own time.

She'll offer to help dye your hair, even if she's not particularly good at it on the first tries, she'll take it seriously and try. You might end up with a few colorful streaks where they shouldn't be, but she'd laugh it off sheepishly and apologize. Plus, it's a good excuse for her to spend more time with you.

Ashlyn gets used to spotting you in a crowd by your hair, whether it's neon pink, rich navy blue, or even more subdued like pastl lavender. It is almost a game when a glimpse of whatever the new color happens to be makes her smile—just a little, because she knows it is you.

She's sentimentally in love with your hair dye choices. Every time you change it to some other color, Ashlyn likes to imagine that it is a mirror of how you feel or what you have gone through. And although it was just because that colour looked awesome, she finds herself wanting to remember every shade, like tiny chapters in your story together.

Ashlyn loves seeing you in bright colors. It contrastingly makes her darker, more reserved style pop, and she loves how you bring a little vibrancy with you wherever you go. Even on days when things feel tight or bleak, just the sight of your brightly dyed hair can make her feel like there's some semblance of hope.

She will take some of the extra hair dye bottles after you're done with them and store them in her room, like little mementos. She would never admit it, but she likes those little reminders of time that you have spent together, even if it's just a discarded bottle of pink dye.

When you try on bold colors, Ashlyn is your greatest admirer. She wouldn't show excitement, but she would give you a very genuine compliment that means so much if coming from her.

She likes running her fingers through your hair when it's freshly dyed. It has become one of those unconscious habits when the two of you are alone that her hand will find its way into your hair and softly twirl a lock around her finger. She likes it soft from a fresh dye, even when she acts as if it doesn't matter.

She is tactful in not making jokes about the color of your hair dye if you're sensitive about it. Even when you are all put together with your style, Ashlyn can find her way to be considerate of what is important to you. She respects that this is a form of expression for you, and she would never do anything on purpose to hurt your feelings with a comment like that.

Anytime you're talking about changing your hair again, she'll tell you colors that she thinks would look good on you, although she'd never come straight out and say it.

Ashlyn has been keeping pictures of all your hair colors. She keeps it to herself, but every picture holds a moment unique-your smile right after dyeing it electric blue, how the sunset hit it when you used that fire red, or going with a darker tone looking like you had stepped directly out of a dream.

[hijackalx]

MINTHARA NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

100% depends on how much she likes you LOL if you’re a one night stand you’re getting kicked to the curb 😹😹 BUT if you’re close enough i think she’s kind of sweet? she finds it a little embarrassing but she still wants to do it, so sometimes it might come off a little awkward lmao. kisses any marks/sore spots left on your body and tells you how good you were 💗

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i feel like minthara has KILLER buns like is it just me……….. she has a really muscular, perky ass lmao, and she’s definitely proud of it. OH AND HER BACK is a close second. i think her favorite part on her partner is their chest. AFAB or AMAB doesn’t matter she loves to mark it up and play with their nipples.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

lowkey has a doting/maternal side that she has to suppress during sex. but you didn’t hear it from me (call her mommy and watch how she short circuits)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

she’s super experienced. had one night stands all the time before you and isn’t shy at all when it comes to sex. also do we think she let the goblins that were obsessed with her smash? yes or no.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

face sitting. giving or receiving. also likes bending you over surfaces.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i feel like she tries to keep it serious but every once in a while something will happen/be said and she’ll break LMAO she can’t help it she is lowkey sillay 💗

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

y’all already know my girl is rocking a bush stop playing. she’s too grown to be worrying about pussy hair 😹😹 probably keeps it trimmed though, and i’d say it’s slightly darker/coarser than the hair on her head.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

okay i don’t feel like she’s PURPOSELY romantic. like she won’t consciously do things she considers romantic but some of the stuff she does instinctually is really romantic/sweet (holding your hand, brushing your hair out of your face, etc.)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yeah i can see minthara jerkin it LMAO. but only if she can’t find someone to sleep with/just needs a quick nut. like i said she’s not really ashamed when it comes to sexual matters so if she’s horny that shit will be dealt with TRUST 💯💯

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

DACRYPHILIA. your sniveling/whimpering gets her GOING. do NOT go to her for a shoulder to cry on YOU WILL GET FUCKED !!!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

she loves a partner that is typically strong and capable but can easily make them pathetic and submissive whenever she wants.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not a lot she won’t do. up for most things unless it’s like….. really, REALLY fucking weird 😹😹😹 also anything that feels demeaning is a no. will humiliate you but don’t try to do it to her.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers to receive here, but if you’re good she’ll put in the work 😼😼

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

almost EXCLUSIVELY rough. only slow and sweet if she’s tired and had a long day. but that just makes those slow and sweet moments more special ☺️💗

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

def a quickie queen. if she’s horny she will be on the lookout for somewhere to fuck. doesn’t care if anyone hears/sees either so the spots are pretty easy to find 😹😹

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

can go multiple rounds with an interval in between. don’t try to go back to back immediately or she will throw out HER back LMAO. a little recuperation first and then she’s good to go.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

hell yeah boy. she uses them on herself and her partner. sometimes it doesn’t even have to be an actual toy— if she finds a random object that gives her ideas she will be using it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

SOOOOO MUCH. will actually tease you to TEARS (she was hoping that would happen). even outside of sex she likes to touch you/whisper dirty things to you out of the blue. loves how she can fluster you, it makes her feel powerful.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

likes to talk but i don’t see her moaning super loud. if she moans she tries to stifle it by biting her lip, so they’re pretty grunty and groany. i think moaning loudly is a little too vulnerable for her and feels kind of awkward.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

SUPERRRRRR high. like i think it can be legit exhausting sometimes 😭😭😭

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

prefers to stay up and read or meditate or something. getting the vibe that she’s the type to smoke after too lmao. but occasionally she’ll be out like a light— you wear her out sometimes 😹😹

[xo-cod]

141 boys treating hyperfeminine!reader as goddess headcanons? 🩷

i got a little confused with what you mean lmfao, i hope this is what you wanted :') <3

ooc/rushed/can be read platonic or romantic 🤍

each of them are very territorial of you even if they don't mean it to be, it just happens especially because you're a precious thing they constantly want to shield away from the horrors of the job

even if you see it, they do try their hardest to limit the gory viewing of it

ghost grumbling about all your pretty items saying that it clogs the space but him secretly taking keeping a few to keep safe.

you know about it and he knows that you know but you never say anything about it

and he keeps them close to his heart on those days he's missing you a little harder <33

he's your handyman no matter what, has gone head to head with price on this

if anything is wrong in your apartment, he's there instantly fixing away with the tip of his tongue stuck between his lips if he's been at it for a while/lost in thought

he wants to do everything for you, has to hold himself back because he knows you're capable and very smart

but it's hard because you're a lil sunshine packed in a human that he can't help but want to squeeze

def gets cuteness aggression with you, cannot help it. will try his hardest to fight against it

gaz is so tender with you, he constantly appreciates every single little thing you do for him

could've bawled into tears at the time you cooked him breakfast complete with fresh hand squeezed juice and pancakes with syrup

and when you handed it to him with a sweet smile, he felt his heart crumbling into a billion pieces

bodyguard no matter where you're going, even if it's to the shop up the road he's coming along

soap has a small tendency to cling onto you whatever you're doing

it's not outright in a childish sense but moreso lingering touches and holding you subtly

it's just in his nature, he misses you so bad whenever you're gone on a mission and you're unavailable for however long that period is

fights price to come with you but gets shut down because he's needed somewhere else

could've cried about it, but he didn't ‼️

price didn't know how much he needed you until you came into his life

not only were you a competent intelligent technical analyst, the best he had on the team

but even off duty, how kind hearted and sweet you were with him

it opened a whole can of worms he thought hadn't even existed

they're all like little children when you're doing your own thing and they're just watching you

all of them being intrigued by your makeup, pointing at several things and asking what the purpose is

"why's is so pointy?" soap had found your eyeliner, looking in the mirror as he attempted his own liner but the poor thing ends up looking like a panda by the time he's done and awkwardly laughing as he hands you back an eyeliner pen that's a little broken now from how frustrated he got

"you waste money when you buy the same things. you just get one and stick with it" simon is loyal king to his own products, the same brand of shampoo he's been buying since the early 2000's is fighting for its life. will never understand why you buy so many blushes/eye shadows/lipsticks but likes watching you put it on

"i watched a video about this yesterday, here lemme help" gaz, always the perfect helper. because what do you means he's gonna let you struggle if your eyeliner is matching on both sides??? he's gonna help you with it ‼️

price, bless his heart just wants to be involved but he doesn't know how to. awkwardly smiling, nodding his head telling you, you did a great job and there's no flashback (learnt the word one time. doesn't know what it means but it sounds fitting)

them poking fun at the candles you used but buying the exact same ones to use at their own homes because it reminds them of you

soap and gaz love the scent in your home, always trying to recreate it in theirs but it never coming close to yours <33

if you're ever running low on anything, it's refilled the next day

yes they all have keys to your house

because why do you need to use your pretty hands when they're here to help you?

game over if you paint your nails in their favourite colour

soap is so proud, constantly showing your hand off and telling you that it should be a permanent colour

gaz being so smug about it, his favourite colour is the most superior therefore it needs to be permanently coloured on your nails

ghost doing a double take at your nails, his heart melting when he sees them, can't not resist touching them or trying to touch them lmaooo

price telling you outright that it suits you and him telling you subtly that it needs to be an every day colour

all of them fighting for their lives trying to pay for your nail appointment but the other trying to butt in

and when you have a bad day, working yourself to the bone all of them step up and intervene

"c'mon sweetheart, it's been a long day" price is very gentle with you, holding you up by your hips as he looks at you inspecting your fatigued state. it hurts his heart when you work yourself to death for this team

"there we go, bonnie. i made you a cuppa" johnny handing you his famous hot chocolates in your hands, helping you take a few sips as he holds you gently in his arms

"i'll run the bath for you, pretty" gaz kissing your temple before he plucks your towel and a bath bomb, determined to make the prettiest most relaxing bubble bath you've ever seen

"c'mere lovie, enough for today" simon holding you to his chest as he takes you put of your seat and helping you stand up. his thumb gently brushing over your cheek with a soft sigh, his affections practically radiating off from him in waves. he may not be a man of poetic words but his actions tell you what he says anyway

and if you have enemies, congrats they have four more

heaven forbid you ever meet kortac, especially könig. simon's got words to say ‼️

[quitealotofsodapop]

Of course! Luzhen has to be there to see everything! He doesn't get tto go into town much at all so everything is new and different! And he is very much an Explorer like his bug brother mama. Wukong kinda has to keep him up there or he'll bounce off and they'll never find him again!

The twins are, once again, tbe bane of my existence. This time the colors were what I struggled with most. They simply did not want to color. They're mischievous, but less so than normal. Rumble don't feel too food with all the noise even through the headphones so Savage jsut wants to stick close to their sibling and they both stay close to Mom, but they still throws bao at their big brother's head. Just to be stinkers.

Yuebei is very much staying close to Mama, but she's happy to meet Dinosaur Girl. Her hanfu is intentionally big because I imagine she's going through the first of many growth spurts, so she needs the room. Yuebei is the most excited about the parade because she likes fireworks like Mama does, but keeps trying to eat things she shouldn't.

Wukong is my pride and joy in that Pic. I tried very, very hard to make him look human but not too human while also not obviously being a monkey. Maybe they think he's a cat, idk, they jsut know that ain't a human. He's super tired with all the cubs but still very much a stern and loving mom, it's the experience with all the babysitting he does for his subjects. He is the first to drop his glamour and the only one to do so on purpose, dropping it pretty much as soon as Spider Queen's hive bots try to target one of his cubs to get them away. He meets up with MK somewhere in the middle and hands the babies over before going to do the monkey king thing. MK shortly hands them over to Sandy in turn to follow after but has to flee because gross spiders and his mom getting caught. I like to think thay while the interaction goes similar to how he got caught the first time, the actual capture happened because Wukong pushed MK out of the way and ordered him to run as soon as he realized LBD was there

referencing.

Luzhen is one misadventure away from Wukong making him a leash baby. He's so much like his big brother/adoptive mom that it worries Wukong sometimes. He just glad that his mini-me doesn't care for peaches XD

Rumble & Savage are so chaotic, they cause issues outside the forth wall. They def make a point of tossing bao buns at MK's head when he isn't looking - though he might just catch it mid-air with his teeth, he's had practice around these two. They likely try to avoid too much of the parade, but they still appreciate the visuals of the fireworks.

Oh gosh Yuebei hitting a (one of many to come) growth spurt and Wukong trying his best to find her nice day clothes that she hasn't outgrown. Yuebei hides behind her mama shyly before Mei says Hi, and suddenly the baby girl is excitedly pointing at Mei.

Mei: "Aww! Is she curious about me?" Wukong, sighs knowing whats coming: "Yes. She's fascinated with your skin." Mei: "No problem - these are my scale patches. I'm a d-" Yuebei, overjoyed: "Dinosaur!" Mei: "...Yep! I'm a dinosaur!" Yuebei: (*delighted giggling and bouncing in place!*) Wukong, whispering: "Sorry, she's in a big dinosaur phase." Mei: "Oh don't worry! I was a horse girl growing up! Gotta encourage her!"

Wukong is beautiful in the art. He's so soft and strong looking. I can imagine he steals MK away to see the parade for a bit (and ask him how well his experiences in the city are going), only to get blindsided by the Spider Gang's attack. A spider-bot scares the babies and immediately it's Monkey King-mode.

MK just gets handed his little siblings when it becomes obvious that MK is terrified of the arachnid enemies. Wukong knows MK isn't ready to take these guys on and doesn't want his eldest to lock up under pressure, so he tells him to take his siblings and get out of there. The twins argue that they want to stay and fight but protective mama Wukong ain't having it. MK runs to the Noodle Gang since Sandy is almost guaranteed to have a vehicle that can get them out of there (or barring that the HQ in the bowel of his ship).

And ofc as the pressure/severity of the situation increases, MK's own glamour falls apart - leaving a panicking monkey demon in the human's place.

Tang, triumphantly: "HAH! Told you! Monkey demon!" Pigsy: (*grumbling*) MK: "Huh?" Pigsy: "We sorta had this running theory that you weren't 100% human, kid." MK: "Since when?" Pigsy: "Since before you picked up the staff. I thought you were like, a human raised by demons or something." Sandy: "I personally thought you might have been part cat demon." MK: "...did anyone think I was just human??" Red Son: "I did." MK: "GAAHH! How'd you get on the ship!?"

Just a full chaotic New Years

[nqmonarch]

Thoughts About Being in a Relationship with HSR Characters

So like we all love to fantasize about being in a relationship with fictional characters but would we want to actually be in one? As a huge fan of the Aeons I did a quick overview. Even though getting into a relationship with one is widely unrealistic (actually impossible because they're video game characters but even in game it's unrealistic).

Warning: This is just for fun

Aha

Wow, Aha is such a goofy Aeon sure the chaos they cause is insane but there's never a dull moment with them around. But like imagine being in the HSR universe and being in a relationship with this Aeon. 99% chance of death (because of a prank), that 1% chance is saved if for some reason you can't be killed.

Literally miserable. You know how you try to have like a normal conversation with your dad, or guy friend, or boyfriend but they just don't take shit seriously. Like they avoid the topic 24/7 because of jokes. Imagine trying to have a serious conversation with this guy, actual terrible experience.

In a modern AU would be one of those prank YouTubers that like pretends to kill your friend as a prank but actually does kill your friend, it's not a prank. Why aren't you laughing?

0/10.

Akivili

If still alive 10/10 in the HSR universe, 9/10 in modern AU. I am down to travel all over the cosmos but since I have a normal life here on Earth I am perfectly happy staying in my room, writing, coding, and drawing. But Akivili would def bring back some banger souvenirs and pictures even if you're just a friend of theirs.

If dead then 10/10 in both.

Fuli

Okay serious question do you think they'd taxidermy their lover? Like I know in HSR there's not really that option (their lover could be one of the memokeepers I guess?) but in Modern AU I feel like they'd taxidermy their lover. I don't know if that's a plus or a negative.

Definitely the kind of Aeon to be hung up on their first love so you better hope you're that first love. Or else they'll be reminiscing over memories and old photos and old videos and constantly comparing them to you-- man that sucks. Probably would take you out to nice dinners though and give you lots of good memories.

In Modern AU I feel like the idea of Fuli gets 10 times more mystical and also 10 times creepier, like someone that tries to record all of the events in the world but also the events happening right now. So historian, journalist combo, except I feel like they would just appear out of nowhere and then just go back to the void and post a bunch of random photos online. They'd definitely have observed their lover before talking to them (likely several times) which is the creepy aspect.

7/10 for the memories.

IX

Actual 10/10 you cannot argue otherwise on this. Okay, you definitely can but 10/10 in my book aside from the fact you die but like you'll either be accepting your death and dying or spend the rest of your life trying to prove IX wrong about the purpose of life.

Wouldn't take you on dates, you'd have to take IX on dates, plan the whole thing out, really fluster them, give them the time of their existence. And IX would sit there like the gentleman... gentlewoman? Gentle creature it is. I feel like they would be very polite :)

In Modern AU I'm pretty sure IX is just your average office worker who hates their life and sees no point to it but for some reason can't die. 9/10. IX loses one point for no longer being a blackhole.

Lan

Honestly... another gentle creature, and like respectfully, very respectfully I would love to take them out on a date. Seems respectful, apparently pays close attention to mortals so there's a higher chance of Lan keeping their lover alive if they're (Lan's lover) a mortal. Pretty sure 90% of the Aeons would accidentally kill a mortal lover.

Just seems very obsessed with their goals and honestly I respect the grind. 8/10, your average grinder. That being said Lan is also absolutely beautiful but I'm not a big horse person.

In Modern AU Lan would be someone that's trying to change the world, one of those go getters. Again very respectful, and cool but would probably work 16 hours a day which makes holding a relationship pretty hard. 7/10.

Mythus

I haven't done Gold and Gears or finished Swarm Disaster but damn Mythus is really hot. Smash. Uh 6/10 because I don't know their personality or even what they represent but they are really beautiful. I like the jellyfish.

Nanook

Aw man, the moment I saw this guy I knew they would haunt my thoughts. And yeah they do. So beautiful from the molten lava, golden eyes, white hair, man if only they didn't have the personality of an absolute asshole. Like I write fanfiction about Nanook sometimes (pretty rarely) and I can say I am literally pulling every possible string I can to make this Aeon a good lover and somewhat in character.

This is just because I like writing lovers that are semi-decent, it's pretty hard when you get to people like Nanook but I do my best. There's no way a relationship with Nanook would work out feasibly because there's no way they'd love you.

But if they did... I don't know, Nanook is still a pretty bad person for trying to kill everything else in the world so I'm gonna have to dock some points for that. Reminds me of the brooding quiet, only soft spot is for you, male lead troupe except Nanook is trying to murder everyone 24/7.

In Modern AU, I don't even know what Nanook would be? An assassin? A serial killer? I can kind of see like a revolution leader cause apparently they were born from the flames of a world in complete destruction and they saw everything as ugly and destruction as the only possible outcome. I can see a twist with Nanook leading a revolution in hopes of creating a more beautiful world but finding destruction as the only possible outcome that will remove the plague known as life.

Even if they loved you, they'd be very busy with their revolution plans, and I feel like you'd probably be caged away somewhere far away from the danger so you'd barely see Nanook if they wanted to keep you alive.

2/10, 2 points for being so FUCKING beautiful. Thanks Hoyoverse for making a character so attractive.

Qlipoth

Okay Qlipoth would be like big puppy partner, you get me. Like golden retriever vibes or uh... that one person that watches over everything to make sure you're safe but not like in the stalker way. Like the government, y'know? Except the government now wants to make sure you're safe! :D

I am a bit thrown off by the fact Qlipoth is a rock but I'm even more thrown back by the IPC. Like they're really fucking annoying (not as individuals I love Topaz and Aventurine) they're like Qlipoth's lil fanclub. They'd also be Qlipoth's fanclub in Modern AU, I'd imagine and I will imagine.

Also they're a bit sus, like I know they're great, but they want to build a wall. What's the wall for, huh?

Anyway as a partner sure they're a rock, and have an annoying fanclub but they'd probably be really caring and would be able to destroy anything that threatens you. I'd imagine it's about the same in Modern AU but destroy anything with money.

Nothing is stronger than money, actually a nuke is but we're going to assume none of the Modern AU versions of the characters would have access to that or make their own because that would change the game.

I'd say 7/10 in both HSR and Modern AU, I don't know they're just kinda sus...

Tayzzyronth

I'm about half way through the swarm disaster and question time--

If insect, why hot? Like I hate bugs, mainly flying ones, but like why is Tayzzyronth half insect half human 100% beautiful? Anyway from what I know they basically became an Aeon because they were lonely and like the last one of their species and honestly, they deserve a hug for that.

Still absolutely terrifying and if you were in a relationship with them you'd probably be smothered with the Swarm which is beyond terrifying. Would be significantly better in Modern AU where they wouldn't have insects around them all the time. 4/10 in HSR and 7/10 in Modern AU.

Xipe

Don't know them but they're so beautiful and with a path like the Harmony they've got to be good, right? Right?

9/10.

Yaoshi

I think Yaoshi is the Aeon I most actively thirst for, like they're so beautiful, and they pull off deranged love so well. They would keep their lover alive until their lover goes insane because of mara. And they're super kind, and empathetic. The threat of becoming mara struck is one I would take just to be in their presence. 10/10.

In Modern AU! they'd be so beautiful, still, like one of those fragile looking beauties that would just approach you randomly and then ask, "Are you in pain?" And it'd be really creepy but because it's Yaoshi it'd be okay and you'd fall in love like instantly. Don't answer yes to the question though. I feel like they'd have mad scientist vibes, probably would do unethical experiments which doesn't really sit right with me. Again, would try to keep their lover alive no matter what but they'd be really nice. 9.5/10.

Alright so I did this in 30 minutes instead of working on my presentation which is due tomorrow and I haven't finished research for.

Again this was just for fun, all of the Aeons have super great designs and are super cool imo :) props to Hoyoverse for this

[captainuranium543]

Hi! I just wanted to know your thoughts on this post here: https://www.tumblr.com/yamishika/761491771751596032/something-that-has-been-bothering-me-regarding-the

Do you agree with this? Disagree with this? Was this just a light comedic moment? It def feels out of character for Jellal to a large degree. You have such great takes on Erza in general, that I wanted to check about this. I tried looking at your posts (now that I have better cell service) and didnt see this on your posts list. Apologies if you’ve covered it already. Thanks in advance!

the post in question^

thanks so much for this ask actually cuz I have been resisting the urge to yap about this forever and now I have an excuse ahaha.

honestly I completely agree, I've been saying it forever but as fairy tail has gone on Mashima has kind of stopped putting as much thought into it has he did early on. Early on the characters where the center of the narrative and honestly I think that's when ft is at its best because that has always been the best part if ft as a whole. The tower of heaven and the trauma Erza and Jellal faced along with countless others had so much impact on the story as late as season 6 because of just how massive a tragedy it was.

starting with Erza and Kiria, it feels especially disgusting for this to happen to specifically Erza because she has spent so much of her life being treated as less then human already. In the tower her purpose was literally to work herself to death, they needed sacrifices and lots of them. As soon as she wasn't useful to them anymore she would killed without a second thought and her life would only be another number added to the massive death toll of the r system project. she wasn't a person in there, she was a tool. Even after the tower she was still under someone else's control (on a leash you might say) with Jellal holding the lives of her friends over her head to keep her quiet, constantly taunting his power over her by spying on her with seigrain in the magic counsel. this is exactly what happens with Kiria and it feels genuinely horrifying to see it happen again but still its just played for fanservice and I find that incredibly irritating.

as for the Erza vs Jellal fight in the Aldoron arc, here we have a scene that is objectively horrifying to both of them. Erza and Jellal share INTENSE trauma associated with mind control and the loss of free will, and yet the scene is played for laughs and fanservice.

I do understand why Hiro did this, if they took the scene seriously it would probably set Jellal right back into his old ways again of avoiding Erza like the plague which he doesn't want because he's trying to push them closer together. I get that but its still feels like such a missed opportunity to give them some kind of emotional development which neither has had in so long. I'm gonna get into my own idea for the fight here so bear with me.

The fight begins and they intercut it with flash backs to the tower of heaven arc, or even further back to their actual childhood, showing how genuinely afraid of him Erza is right now while also trying to control herself and keep her "fight" instinct at bay because she doesn't want to hurt him. the fight from her perspective should be chaotic, rapidly throwing her between past and present while she desperately tries to hold onto a sense of reality and remind herself its not him.

now imagine this, at some point she loses control and really starts to spiral and he gets the upper hand. she's totally beaten and exhausted after trying to fight him and her demons at once and while she's on the ground he approaches her, lifts her up, and we get a call back to this scene.

throughout this fight we never really see Jellal's face, its mostly been from Erza's perspective and when we do see his face its a flashback to a different time while he was mind controlled. Now in the present jellal says something, idk what he would say exactly, but its something similar to the "it was the color of your hair" moment where it reminds Erza of something he said to her while he was himself. Erza finally snaps back to reality, she looks down at him and we finally get a clear view of his face in the present, and we see that he's crying.

that is enough to fully snap Erza back and finally give the fight her all, because its not just for her sake its for both of them. he would never forgive himself if he hurt her so she's going to have to be the one to do it even if it hurts because its the only way she's going to save him. and more than anything she wants to save him. (Again, call back to the tower of heaven, she was to late to save him then and it weighs on her to this day, she wont be to late this time.) anyway fight ends shortly after that she knocks him out and she's crying because obviously she never wanted to hurt him either she's just taking one for the team (like always but that's another rant). Just before Jellal passes out he looks at her and he thanks her for saving him (ONCE AGAIN CALL BACK TP THE TOWER OF HEAVEN but this time its not manipulation he's being fr showing us that its really him now). he passes out, erza gets up, looks back at him maybe one last time, says shes sorry, then goes off to go keep fighting. fight over

case and point I think this could have been sick as hell and i'm sad it didn't happen. its not that I have a problem with fanservice I just think it should be tasteful at least a little.

[yae-energy]

get in bitch, we’re going shopping

synopsis: my take on what it’s like going to the mall with saiki and friends

cast: kusuo saiki, shun kaidou, aren kuboyasu x shopaholic black fem reader (all platonic)

cw: theft (kuboyasu’s part) , cursing

a/n: this won the poll so come get y’all snacks ! this was also mega fun to write omg 😭😭😭

—

saiki - doesn’t even wanna be there

- bro just wants to stay home ong 😭

- def keeps that germanium ring on him cause he is not trynna hear everybody’s nasty ass thoughts

- sticks close to you if you’re in a group cause you’re the only one who isn’t stressing him out

- also cause you tend to wander off when looking at display windows

- has to keep you from going into every store y’all come across but man is that an exhausting job

- like he don’t wanna be there all damn day

- but having to stop you from getting pouty cause they didn’t have the sneakers you want is worse

- will literally use his clairvoyance to find the shoes in another store and then swap it with a different pair of the same value so you can shut the hell up 😭 (love a supportive king !!)

“they dont have the shoes?? i literally waited all damn day for those and they don’t even- …. huh? since when did these get here?”

“must be magic, now let’s get the hell outta here PLEASE”

- food court enthusiast !!!

- without a doubt his favorite place in the mall

- buys you both lunch

- also buys you a key chain as a gift cause he saw you eyeing it in one of the windows, and puts it in one of your bags so you’ll see it when you get home

- will not tell you he bought it

- you rambling to him on the way to school the next day about how you must’ve gotten it by mistake is a reward in itself

—

kaidou - shopaholic bestie

- just like you, kaido loves a good shopping spree !!!

- he’s gotta deck himself out so dark reunion knows who they messing with !!!

- they don’t call him the jet black wings for nothing 😤

- gives surprisingly good fashion advice

“this color brings out your skin tone you should get this”

“these shoes match that hat you should get these”

“gold accessories fit your skin perfectly”

- loves when you give him a fashion show if you’re trying on clothes

- will literally make you runway walk 💀

- hot topic king !!!!

- prob their biggest buyer tbh

- gets those corny graphic tees and you have to BEG him to not wear them in public

- like he genuinely thinks they’re cool and you’re like

“😬…lets not”

- goes straight to the bookstore to see if they have any new manga

- will be there for hours if you don’t pull him out

- like he dead read a whole book once while you were out looking for bags

- you bought it for him as a treat cause he carried all your bags for you

—

kuboyasu - a thief in the night

- im sorry y’all but this man def steals (same tho/hj)

- and doesn’t give a fuck either

- but most of the time it’s not even on purpose fr

- like he’ll pick up something and be like

“damn this shit cool ash”

- then will forget he has it in his hand and walk out with it 😭

- is banned from 3 of your favorite stores for doing this so he just stands outside like a club bouncer and waits for you

- best believe if someone tries to get at you he’s there to keep em in check !!

- once a cashier tried to get your number and he was not having it

“nuh uh”

- like 🤷🏽‍♀️ sorry but if they look like a loser he’s not letting it happen

- people assume you guys are dating cause he does that but he’s just a little protective fr

- he ain’t letting no scrub try to take you out, tf he look like?

- steals you that expensive bag you wanted

- goes with you into the makeup stores and lets you swatch the lipsticks on him if you run out of room on your hand

- will be mad if they don’t have your shade in anything and curse out the employees

- gets banned

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Follow up to my silly little Vees in Heaven AU that I might as well keep developing because people seem to like it lmao. This is my basic idea of how each of them individually would react to ending up in Heaven :)

Vox: Would probably behave like a normal person the longest because A; being in Heaven for an extended period of time could offer some Business Opportunites and B; he cares about his image so fucking much, and given that he was probably pretty well known while he was alive I don't think he'd want the people of Heaven knowing about all the evil business man shit like, at all. Though the monotony of Heaven would ABSOLUTELY drive him up the fucking walls. Nothing ever happens there. He can barely even network because Heaven doesn't have anything even RESEMBLING the overlord system down in Hell, there's no rank mobility for mortal souls. And that's assuming Sera even lets him DO anything because sinners ascending at all is a pretty fuckin new concept and she would at the very LEAST want to keep the news from spreading until she figures out what the fuck is going on. Either way it's not like he can do much because oh god what would PURPOSEFULLY going back to Hell do to his reputation!?!? He's stuck between a rock and a hard place and hating every second of it, but hey at least he can try to. Get some Heaven shit for Voxtech. And his head probably(?) isn't a TV anymore-

Velvette: Lasts for a couple months(or however long it takes her to get whatever information/materials she deems useful) before she starts causing problems on purpose. Think Respectless x100. It's even worse cause Sera has absolutely no experience dealing with this kinda shit. It's also terrible for Vel because nothing she's doing is getting her sent back down! As much as Sera wants to, she has to keep the "sinners ascending" thing contained until she figures out wtf is going on, which means no going back to Hell until Sera can discuss things with HER higher ups, which based off of how little Sera seems to know abt how Heaven works just. In general. Is probably nigh impossible. So Velvette's just stuck in Heaven, constantly attempting whatever she could possibly do to go back to Hell. Probably starts off small like just pissing Sera off on purpose every way she can, insulting people, etc because she also doesn't wanna do anything bad enough to get herself like. Executed or some shit. But as time presses on and shit just keeps Not Working she keeps upping the anti until she's wracked up several counts of arson and is being held in the closest thing Heaven has to a prison. Which she'll probably find ways to cause problems from there too Idk.

Valentino: He's in Heaven for like 5 seconds and then immediately just

Its like having Adam back only he's Worse and Does Not Want To Be Here.

Now I would like to note, all of this is very dependant on whatever plot points might be happening around them? Cause like I said in the original post there's def a lot of Heaven/Hell drama going on in the background that would definitely effect the plot of the AU, but I don't really know. What that is yet. Because it means doing more world building hcs then I am mentally equipped to make rn. So for now these are just what I think their ✨general reactions✨ would be + a stupid doodle of Val I did last night.

Also I need a name for this AU. My only real idea is Heavenly Vees? But that feels kinda basic idk. Maybe HeavenVee? Idk-

[satuwn]

i have decided to randomly infodump about my lab rats as a way to motivate myself to: 1) revamp existing characters old refs and 2) DRAW THE GD REFERENCES OF THE REST OF THE BITCHES (this will probably take me ages still. alas), more rambly details abt the story and characters under the cut

the main characters: Dr. Kitty Whisker and her twin sibling Happy(tbd), Dr. Brainworms, Gummi (comic relief character mostly), Prof. Fuzzybottom(tbd) and Prof. Snakebite (previously known as prof. pinky, i need to redesign him more heavily)

the side characters (these guys may have side stories of their own but theyre mostly just an excuse for me to design more weird lab rats): Prof. Smartypants - ref to be finished, ferret with a brain of a human, she is my 'authors blatant self insert' into my own story lol; Fishsticks (drawn, a dissected mouse/frog stitched together), (the rest of these dont have names yet) a rat/chick hybrid with funy lil chicken legs, a rat/gator/shark hybrid she is punk and goth and she Bites, a mouse/cat dna mix with a surprisingly tragic backstory that im still working out, more tba

each lab rat represents usually an amalgamation of different experiments as the lab they are in is 'cheap' with their test subjects and likes to Repurpose old, usually failed experiments and do other stuff to them! honestly even if theyre a success they still end up getting experimented on more lol but they are still unimportant enough and the lab big enough where they can hide themselves away and have their own space w/o being actively searched for. ofc the world of the setting is based on our own reality but way more Hyperreal, i dont aim to represent logical feats of science bc a lot of these guys would defs be revolutionary (and impossible) irl lol. i will briefly run down what each main character is a result of but ideally id like to go into more detail when i actually. make the story more visual in whatever format i decide to do (probably experimental and non linear snippets, i dont think im smart enough for a full comic)

Dr. Kitty and Happy are twins! they were the result of an experiment where the scientists were testing if one species of rodent could gestate a different species of rodent just thru a little genetic modification. and that was Happy! he is actually a bunny born from a rat mother and with all rat siblings (one of them being Kitty) hes a bit smaller in stature than a usual bunny being more rat sized but other than that just a bnuuy! further experiments on them was how well skin grafting would work between different yet similar species. it worked for Kitty (hence the bunny ear) but not so much for Happy... both of them had separate experiments done on them also, altho Kitty was more rebellious of the two earning her the shock collar. Happy also had experiments on his fur to make it color changing like a chameleon, as well as some experiments to his eye (tbd)

Dr. Brainworms is actually a sapient amoeba/bacteria type thing, attached to a host body(that happens to be a hairless rat), this host body is her most compatible one as she Can overtake and control other bodies but they start to decay pretty quickly. her history is something she herself is trying to find out as her host body is its own mystery.. is she just an amoeba that gainted sentience? is her mind really her own? was this body maybe always hers? who knows!

Gummi is a jelly belly gummy rat candy brought to life, pretty self explanatory... but shes got a few mysteries of her own! like, why was she even created, for what purpose, i mean who could even do such advanced science anyway to bring an inorganic candy to life, and Why does she keep talking abt a scientist with green gloves when there arent any scientists like that around?

Prof. Fuzzybottom is a rabbit! she used to be just used for breeding new test subjects which left her pretty traumatized not being able to keep any of her children, she became infertile from the stress so she was repurposed for other experiments, like trying to turn her fur to naturally be an unnatural color, and to be more synthetic like faux fur (aka a living plush) she was also blind so they replaced her eyes with a plushy sleeping mask that actually has LEDs inside that are hooked up to her brain to see if they could restore vision thru cybernetics. in her original iteration she was even supposed to be half rat half bunny buut i felt it too much, might still reuse the idea tho! tbh i just wanted a bunny with cute rat hands :3

Prof. Snakebite is not even a lab rat originally, he was simply a pinky rat used to feed the lab snakes, but due to freak circumstances he was actually still alive and after being bitten by a venomous snake, the stress hormones in his little body make him develop rapidly especially in brain power. as he was still very tiny and fragile, he wasnt the best subject to experiment on, but he was fitted with a brain chip originally just to read and analyze his brain development as he was much more advanced in mind than in body (of an almost newborn). after escaping he would upgrade his brain chip to help him utilize more brain power but also lessen the burden on his tiny body that could not handle the strain. he and prof. fuzzybottom are always hanging around each other, fuzzy very often babying him or just helping him out by carrying him and helping him reach places or handle objects, while he begrudgingly tolerates her as she is useful to his needs. also cant admit he appreciates her actually awww

the rest of the side characters are pretty self explanatory, theyre mostly just various animal hybrids and crossbreeds and splices! smh only the main characters get cool powers and shit -_- aside from Prof. Smartypants, after having a ferrets body fitted with a human mind(who doesnt remember the human part almost at all. its just the advanced intellect from it) tries to figure out the weird body dysmorphia with Science Potions aka chemisty. but thats mostly just to give another one of my sonas shapeshifting ablities (go figure) so yah if u read this so far Waow o_o Thank U and also Pls Send me asks abt this. if u want <3 can be questions or just ur thoughts ig!! id love feedback pleas please plea

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 5

Attack of the Rage Mages

Welcome back to the Report Card where the Bad Kids are ready to fucking fight dude! Even the battle episodes this season are super beefy and I am having a crazy busy week so I’m going to do my best to try and strike a balance between giving y’all all the key details and being efficient. 

To remind you guys of the setup: The Bad Kids have just been portaled to the Synod Mall by Adaine who was working there when Cassandra (there with Kalina to pamphlet) suddenly cried out in pain and started expelling crystal shards that are turning the mages that interact with them into beefy rage monsters who are attacking indiscriminately.

Also, a detail I didn’t mention last recap but is relevant in this one, hanging from the ceiling, kinda looking like the one in Grand Central Station, is a shifting interdimensional clock (since people visit the Synod from lots of places/dimensions and need to know their specific time). 

OK, that’s everything you need to know! I’m gonna do this fight in bullets and focus on just the key points, and then jump into the things that matter more in the thoughts section. Onward!

Adaine clocks the crystals as being from the school of Enchantment. She uses Dimension Door to get Kristen right next to Cass who is getting bigger and more pissed. She’s even MORE pissed when Adaine asks Kristen if she should hit her with her sword. 

Cass tries to cast Hold Monster on Kristen (ow) and Fig dispels it. Cass is also not happy about that and her skull flashes to her Nightmare King form for a moment. 

Fabian clocks that things are about to get real and then does a TON of very cool, very impressive combo fighter/bard stuff. Everyone is playing really mechanically smart this episode but I have to say, he especially impressed me. 

Riz checks the clock and sees that even though it’s only been a few seconds in the Synod, it’s been like 40 minutes in Spyre. Fabian checks in with the Hangman telepathically so he can do damage control and Fig wonders if they can use the clock to go back in time and not be late for the party. 

Kalina goes invisible but Adaine can see her with her Divination powers and can see that her eyes are slitted and narrow and her tail is twitching. 

Several of the red crystals have infected mages at this point and after Riz goes, using Tasha’s Hideous Laughter to distract one of the mages, the crystals whisper Cass’s name and the mages who aren’t distracted go for her. 

Fabian attacks one (an attack of opportunity I believe) and Brennan notes as he slices them that they seem to have way more blood than usual under a lot of pressure, which is odd enough that I wanted to note it. 

One of the mages does a whirlwind attack that hits Kristen, Adaine, Kalina and Cass. Cass and Kristen have at least this in common: they both fail the save and take the full 30 points. Cass yells for the mages to stop attacking and the red within her glows brighter.

Fig uses Suggestion to recruit one of the uninfected mages to help by Counterspelling anything harmful cast on Kristen. Luckily, Conor Counterpsell happened to be at the mall that day and is now at her service! She also hits Cass with a bardic saying that they’re there for her and that she doesn’t think she’s scared so much as pissed which is totally valid. Very rock and roll. 

Cass commands everyone to get back and does a wave of necrotic damage to everyone around her. It seems a bit indiscriminate–even Kalina is hit which she wouldn’t usually do on purpose even as the NK. 

Gorgug asks for an insight check to know if the crystals here are in any way related to the crystal in Lydia Barkrock’s chest that is keeping some evil at bay with her constant rage. Brennan gives a surprised but pleased Cheshire Cat grin. No roll necessary: they’re def related in some way. These pulse and move much more rapidly though. Hers pulses like a heartbeat. 

On Kristen’s turn, she gives Cass a heartfelt apology about dropping the ball in general and missing this meeting specifically. She says she didn’t realize she was supposed to be here this time and she understands Cass being upset. Because this is season 3, I don’t even need to tell you what Ally rolls on this Persuasion check. But I will, because that’s what a recap is. 

On Kristen’s Nat 20 (this is why she keeps getting gods despite her track record), Cassandra is instantly calmed and brought down to her regular size. She expels 7 more of those shatter star crystals and she’s bleeding and scared. She clearly internalized what Fig told her though because she also says that she’s pissed. All she wanted was to help! The red in her pulses as she says, “It isn’t f–” She doesn’t seem to be able to get out the word “fair”. And she sees that she’s freaking out Kristen with the red pulse so she tries to calm down. 

Round 2 (Breaking This Up Because Tumblr Hates Big Text Blocks)

Adaine summons a mall cop but even a wizard mall cap is still a mall cop and thus, useless. Adaine offers to Dimension Door Cass away but Cass wants to stay and fight. “How are they back here?” Cass says about the stars. “I thought you were dead.” (On an Insight check, Kirsten doesn’t think that this is NK related).  

Adaine has her coolest moment of the episode here (imo) where she casts True Strike and Steel Wind strike and then attacks again and again and again with her Sword of SIght doing 41 damage each to 4 of the stars. Brennan narrates it as the hits being foretold by her divination. It’s very cool and I’m glad Adaine can do melee attacks now. 

Kalina turns back visible as it looks like the battle is turning in their favor. She shoots Riz  a low, playful , “Hey Riz,” because of course she does. 

It’s now Cass’s turn. She’s back to herself, she’s a goddess, it looks like she’s about to end this fight super early into the runtime. But then…

OK, things go bonkers for a sec. Stick with me. 

Cass thanks Fig for the advice–seemingly utilizing her Bardic. She’s about to do some kind of Mass Dispelling. But then Fig starts to feel all weird and hot and her stomach gurgles. A fire elemental who I assume is on autopilot offers Fig a sample of shrimp and, for SOME REASON, despite her stomach feeling weird and them being in PITCHED COMBAT (Ally’s words lol), Fig takes a shrimp. The plate flips which starts a series of Rube Goldberg ass events that end with Cass choking on a piece of shrimp/having an allergic reaction (a thing that can apparently happen to a god) and going unconscious. At the table, the Intrepid Heroes are baffled except for Emily who is laughing hysterically. 

Riz notices a drip of tartar sauce on Fig's shirt and finally realizes that she’s exhibiting some real Gilear behavior. He puts together that the effect that Cass didn’t save from (hmmm) was somehow connected to Fig giving her Bardic. 

Fig quickly explains what happened with her unlocking something to help with the Night Yorb fight in ep 1 (she calls it an ancestral curse which is funny bc she’s not blood related to Gilear. Diversity win! This ancestral curse recognizes that non-traditional family structures are still just as valid!). Conor Counterspell is like Y’ALL there is a FIGHT happening to try and get them back on task. Before she does though, Fig (and Adaine) see a vision of the gleaming, golden Pride armor from the Bottomless Pit that Gilear wore back in SY. A voice says, “It was not yours to take” Ominous! Adaine’s vision has a fun Oracle bonus: Fig in the Pride armor, years in the future, causing Gilear-esque bullshit to happen on an apocalyptic scale. Goofy yet still ominous! 

Adaine almost gets all raged up by a shatter star but she saves. Conor gets hit (much to Emily’s dismay) but he doesn’t turn on them. Put a pin in that. 

Kalina yells for her mistress as she goes down but then also gets hit with a shatter star. Before the rage overtakes her she struggles to get out last words to Riz, “Ragh Barkrock.” And then she doesn’t grow, but she becomes very still. 

Fabian is still VERY shrimp party focused and wants to try and use the clock to turn back time or something similar. He climbs up and sees a vision of an old version of himself lamenting the fact that he never got to be a maximum legend. Now he’s even MORE party focused. He tries to get the wizards to fight on the premise that they finally have the chance to beat up some jocks but they refrain because they know the rage mage’s are possessed and not true jocks. Welp, worth a shot! 

Kalina gets the shrimp out of Cass’s throat to bring her back up which is enough time for Cass to give a hazy, “Kalina,” before her familiar says, “I liked you better as the Nightmare King” and slits her throat. Cass drops to zero. 

Riz casts Compelled Duel on Kalina and Adaine uses a portent roll to make Kalina fail her save. He then hides. Some attacks happen, Kalina vanishes–away from Adaine’s 10 feet of vision but still within range of Riz because of the Compelled Duel. 

The mages attack, dropping Kristen. Cass does a TON of saves and only fails one with a Nat 1. But that’s enough to trigger her partial transformation. She comes to, once again getting huge and riddled with red light through her veins. 

Fig brings up Kristen. Cass gets even bigger and redder. She’s furious, but not at them anymore. She looks like she wants to murder Kalina. Kristen, with decent Insight, sees that the Rage is giving her power but it’s making her unstable. This isn’t like healthy embracing of valid emotions, this needs to be stopped. 

She jumps on Cass’s back and says, “There's plenty of time to be angry! We can definitely talk this through, and your anger is not scary to me. I totally understand.” She casts Dispel Magic with her Staff of Doubt. A DC 23 is needed and she rolls with advantage. She missed by ONE. Brennan lets her roll again with advantage. Even worse rolls. She gets two more chances with Advantage. Nope. She rolls AGAIN, with an added d4. STILL NO. By my account that’s NINE rolls, none of them successes. Adaine tries as well and just misses. The dice REALLY don’t want this to happen it seems. 

Cass prepares to cast a 9th Level Circle of Death (14d6 necrotic or half on a save). Fig and Adaine both try to Counterspell it and Fig tells Conor to do it as well. He says he has bigger fish to fry. She doesn’t see how that can be possible, but they’re OK because Adaine succeeds. 

Conor then throws his staff at the clocks and shatters it, sending them through a trippy Labyrinth-esque (think Sarah falling out of the World Falls Down ball) scene that lands them back at Seacaster manor, ten seconds before they left. As they leave, Cass is getting bigger and bigger and she throws some kind of twilight energy spell at Kristen that follows them out. It seems like Conor saved them from something major that was about to go down. 

But now, they’re back at the manor, watching themselves about to walk into the Synod fight. They yell some advice and their doubles disappear. Fig rolls a Nat 20 to understand time loops. She’s been a secret honor student this whole time is what I’m getting from this season.  

Riz questions whether they won or not but this feels like a situation where if you have to ask, the answer is no. 

OK, phew. That was a lot, but we still have a bit more to go. 

Kristen tries to check in with Cass and she gets this ominous message: “She is at my side once more.” The Bad Kids try to parse that but don’t come up with a clear answer. The voice asks Kristen if she wishes for divinity and says they’ll give her the master she deserves. A portal opens and a slimy, rotted, Yes! slides out like a sick joke. Kristen dispels it and when the voice says, “I am coming for you. And when I find you, I will break you in a way that none who loved you will recognize the ruin I have wrought. Lean your soul in closer, that I might give you more than words,” she breaks the connection. 

She also gets some images of the shattered mall, the dead mages floating in Astral Space, and she puts together that the Astral Realm is both where the mall is (*was) and where dead gods go. 

Ragh shows up all buttered (sure) to tell them that the ramp is buttered (sure) and though Riz wants to question him right away (both because of Gorgug’s epiphany and Kalina’s last words), this party is HAPPENING so it’s gonna have to wait. They decide to go with the Fig Disguised As Kristen plan for the shrimp jump because Kristen is, very understandably, having an existential crisis. Riz makes her invisible and Fig goes to do the jump (much to the Hangman’s delight who likes her much better than Kristen). 

Everyone gives Fig buffs but she does need it as she rolls a NAT 20. She uses her leftover spell slots to do some flashy pyrotechnics and leaves the tartar sauce filled pooled “like Daenerys”. The crow is in tearful awe. They cheer, they cry, they declare Fabian a minimum legend. They know for a fact that this is gonna be a killer year. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Some Serious Sleuthing 

At least once per season Zac has a genuine Jimmy Neutron Brain Blast about a plot thing and this was it for Junior Year. What a pull. He def beat me to it by a WIDE margin. And it ties in super neatly to things Gorgug would notice and have a sense about since he knows Lydia and knows rage. I don’t care what any of his teachers say; he’s smart in all the ways that count. 

Detention 

Adaine for Poor Timing

Adaine I love you so much but mayhaps, “Your God is dying again, you’re gonna fail junior year” isn’t the most helpful thing to say in the middle of a traumatic life event that is also a life or death battle. 

Random Thoughts

Unironically the biggest W of this combat? Adaine losing her job. That was gonna cause more issues than it solved and she CAN get a better one. Or, you know, road trip with Aelwyn for some light matricide. Either would be better than her leaving school to work an 8 hour graveyard shift. 

I wonder if Brennan meant for that clock to have time traveling properties and the party just clocked it (ha) before it came up or if they said it and then he used it to snatch them out of the fight that it didn’t seem like he wanted them to auto fail because he gave them so many rolls to try and save Cass! I really badly wanna know what he was hoping for out of this fight. 

OK so I’m Pepe Silvia-ing a bit. In the previous episodes, there have been at least two moments where Brennan describes a character getting kinda hot under the collar. One is when Kristen is confronting her parents and the other is when Riz is mad about the Rat Grinders. And in the Kristen instance, she then got advantage on her next roll but Brennan didn’t say why. It struck me as odd both times and now I’m wondering if it’s related to whatever these shatter stars are.

Speaking of, we get a lot of tidbits about them but no real info. Cass saying, “I thought you were dead,” and also there’s a moment that didn’t make the recap where the stars almost go for something but then don’t because it wouldn’t be tactically the smartest and that feels like a level of active sentence, right? Plus the fact that they literally said Cass’s name to get the wizards to attack her. I wonder what a Detect Thoughts would have gleaned. 

Lmao at Brennan making Emily profile the minis. 

“By the laws of this ancient mall.” Bruh, it JUST opened! 

Shocked that when Brennan described the crystals moving like a flock of birds, he resisted the opportunity to use the word “murmuration”. 

Cass doesn’t seem able to get the word “Fair” out. She’s struggling like there’s a geas spell on her or something else compelling her. The obvious thing to jump to is KP’s campaign which emphasized “fairness under the rules” but it’s hard to see how those things are connected yet. Just throwing some stuff up on the conspiracy board for later.

Also, while pseudo-connections are being made, I wonder if Gorgug’s rage storyline is going to intertwine with whatever is happening with these rage stars.  There was mention of like rage that is helpful vs rage that makes you unstable and that reminded me of Porter talking about how Gorgug only really rages to protect his friends. I dunno. We’ll see if it ends up going further than just the parallels. 

My favorite moment of the ep didn’t make the recap but I wanted to highlight it here. When Adaine is targeted by the rage star, she saves but Brennan asks her what the world would look like if she was consumed by rage and she said Falinel would be destroyed as revenge and Sylvaire would be destroyed–not on purpose but as collateral damage in the quest to hunt her mother. I think questions like that for flavor and character insight are so fun! 

The Hangman’s adoration of Fig is so cute. He was lamenting his shrimp costume that he of course had to wear for the shrimp jump (shoutout Torek) but when Fig said she thought it was cute he got all blushy. I love him. 

I have to mention that Riz cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter by flossing (like the dance). Who taught that goblin how to floss? Is Riz on Fantasy TikTok?

Lmao at Kristen suddenly being like, Shh, don’t mention the arty-Pay in from of ass-Cay in this fight as if she hasn’t been putting her foot in her mouth for the past four eps. Took 5 eps but her tact finally arrived. 

“Your anger isn’t scary to me,” is a genuinely sweet sentiment in this context. 

When the Bad Kids are speculating about what the hell happened after the fight, someone asks Kristen if Cass has a dad or something she can talk to. Idk if she has a dad exactly but closest would be that Sol and Galicaea are her older siblings, right? (I thiiink that’s right. Def about Gal. Taking the wiki's word for it re Sol). I’m more and more suspicious about this turning into a family affair. And it would make sense for them to get involved right? It parallels Kristen’s relationship with her family coming back to the forefront. And Tracker is still in the mix as Gal’s cleric. I dunno, it feels like it’s gonna be important. 

It’s likely that Kalina prob met whatever fate Cass did but we’ve seen that Kalina can operate kinda separated from Cass (like she did in SY) and Brennan said that Cass can’t truly die unless Kristen and Craig do so I guess we’ll see where that goes. 

Are Fig’s Bardics now a game of Russian Roulette? If so, uh-oh! We don’t have a ton to go on for the exact mechanics of what’s going on yet, but it seems certain that a trip to hell is gonna be necessary to start getting this sorted (which she really needs to do anyway being an archdevil with responsibilities and all). 

These have been getting too long for Tumblr to handle lately so I’ll end on these last two bullets. In the AP, Ally said that Kristen really does want to be a cleric to Cass, she’s just suffering for lack of organization. And at least to me, that’s not how it’s come across so far, but taking that into account puts her actions in a different light. It’s still all irresponsible of course but if it’s supposed to be more just genuinely scattered than callous/indifferent then this feels more like a storyline about looking for middle ground than finding yet another new path whole cloth. She was for sure more in serious mode this ep than she has been the last four eps so we’ll see if this side of her sticks around.

I ended the last recap by saying I was worried for Cass and, guess what? Still am! Galicaea, help your sister!  

[mint-ty]

Mkaay, I'm still not done thinking about The Loundry Saga and what might have happened, since each option is so bonkers:

A. Bojan genuinely forgot half of his luggage of dirty clothes somewhere (options: tourbus, last venue, at Jere's). Which is by itself so weird, since it's not one set of clothes, he had to take out everything washable and..just forgot?? Why even take them out of the luggage? How far away did you put it? How do you forget behind all of your underwear??

B. Bojan agreed he'll leave his clothes for washing at Jere's for whatever excuse (to make space in luggage for gifts? Surely underwear takes least space??). Did they agree that "ok I'll wash" and then both of them forgot about it? But for a whole week? (Poor marinated synthetics, Jere was fully at fault there).

C. Bojan left them behind intentionally and didn't tell anyone (which, wow.). Leaving behind not one, but a full set of your used underwear is some power move. He could leave only the stage clothes behind, but he chose to go all out.

D.(rejected idea): What if everyone left their pair behind on the last day after they went to sauna? But I just can't see someone like Kris leaving loundry behind (or the rest of them, other than Bojan, tbh). And the hole-shirt wasn't from the last night.

E.(fantasy/criminal level of what if) Jere was the one that was messing with Bojan's luggage for whatever unhinged reason on the last night and his unconfirmed-adhd brain forgot to put it all back (AND to wash it for a whole week.). And then he framed Bojan on ig.

Also, now for the purpose of sending them back Jere def has Bojan's home address. I don't believe he'd send only clothes back. For sure he'd add a postcard with handwritten emojis, signed poster of himself or some other shit for funs and giggles. [Also: I'm sure Jere wouldn't do it (or would he??), but he'd think it's a good joke to send his own dirty underwear instead. Can't put past anything by him.]

I keep trying to decide which option is most likely, but they all sound so stupid 😭 Maybe I missed something?

[one-strugling-bean]

Update on my TMA binge: 1st season has been finished.

Below are my main sticking points:

The voice acting is so gooooooood!! Im loving everyone's voices - they all portray their characters emotions and personalities so well!

Jon kinda has the golden medal tho, since hes by far the most prominent voice

Abt the side characters - Martin took me by surprise so hard when he first spoke. I was expecting like..... A big, chill himbo. Kinda like Kronk or Launchpad but less loud, with a grave voice. (Ig part of me had imagined the Martin from Adventure Time?) I was def not expecting the voice of a prepubescent teen.

Anyway, he's baby. Precious to no end but also surprisingly useful and smart? He's an absolute 10/10 I mean. Would buy him sweets and listen to his rambles abt spiders (jon how can you call him a useless ass, he's so un-insultable??? q~q)

Sashaaaaaaa what happened to my favorite gurl???? And also the only one... She was literally the only reason everyone else escaped the worms, Sasha saved everyone's butts. By far the most competent and brave of the squad - a true Gryffindor u-u

But im afraid she died from whatever got her in the storage unit... I've been skimming through the comment section on each episode's youtube video, and some of them seem to imply she's dead for good... I reaaaaally don't want that to be true, she was so cool!! and the single holder of the Archives braincell!! I dont want her to die ;-;

And Tim!! Tim had the least amount of recorded time, but he's already a fave too. Him pretending to be Jon right before Sasha tackled him was so so funny. Also, ig he's kinda what I thought Martin would be. So no losses there!

Elias is.... Weird. Weird in the sense that he seems so obviously suspicious, i hesitate to pin the blame of anything on him. Like it's too easy to be true you know??? Like they're making him look shady on purpose to distract us from the actual shadiness going on. Idk though. He's shown up so little until now he might just have nothing to do with nothing, or be the big final boss. He's got me very confused (also his voice is sooooo cool, i love it. He gives me stern professor vibes)

How much the statements creep me out highly depends on what they're abt. Like, so far, the scariest have been Piecemeal 14#, Lost John's Cave 15#, and Infestation 39# purely because of all the screaming.

And abt the bigger story..... Idk about anything yet, but I'm very curious indeed.

The Dreamer #11 keeps coming back to me when i try to piece it together. Wth was supposed to happen to Gertrude?? Did it come to pass, and it was somehow how she ended up shot, or... did she find a way to kill herself so as not to have to face that fate?? And now Jon has to because he's in her place???

I rly dunno abt anything yet. Im just vibin and listening to all these spooks and having fun. I shall continue doing so rn actually.

End statement or whatever :p

(part 3 has been posted)