#i was today years old when i found out this single also has Enjoy the Silence <3 i loved that cover for so long.

[spideyjimin]

sweet love | pjm

⤷ part of the dads universe

⏤ pairing: coffee shop owner!jimin x female reader 

⏤ genre: parents au, exes to lovers, fluff, and smut 

⏤ rating: 18+ 

⏤ summary: jimin is the father of your four-year-old daughter, moon, and he’s also your ex. an ex you never considered getting back to, but that wasn’t until you both found yourself being single again. watching a movie with moon every sunday became the perfect excuse to flirt together discreetly. a flirt that brought back ten years of sweet love. 

⏤ words: 14,388 

⏤ warnings: mention of pregnancy, mention of breakup, sexual tension, flirting, long-haired!jimin, little moon is sick, mention of jealousy, some teasing, a lot of making out, mention of struggles after a breakup, praising, mention of postpartum struggles, some swearing, pet names, thigh riding, dirty talking, masturbation, dom!jimin, big cock!jimin, missionary, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, nipple play, creampie, and multiple orgasms

⏤ author’s note: hiiii guys ✨ so here you finally have sweet love!! as “before you”, it’s an old fic that i rewrote and in this one i’ve added extra scenes and conversations. it was definitely fun to rewrite it and make it part of the dads universe 🤗 hope you’ll enjoy it & happy jimin day 💞

Slowly, you open the door of your daughter’s bedroom.  

“Are you ready?” You ask your small daughter. 

She’s struggling to put on her little blue dress, but today, she insisted on dressing by herself. Apparently, a little girl at her school already does everything alone, and Moon, your four-year-old daughter, wants to be just like her. But in general, your little daughter has been showing you that she wants to become more and more independent. 

You can totally understand her, you absolutely want her to do things on her own but it’s also okay to ask for a little help.  

“Let me help, booboo.” 

You rush in her direction to help her out with her dress. She doesn’t push you away or anything, she just lets you give her a hand. As you do so, you simply can’t believe that she is already four years old. For you, she’ll forever be the tiny little baby that she was at her birth. 

Moon was born prematurely, almost five weeks before the due date. She was tiny and more fragile, but she quickly grew once outside and she easily gained weight. The doctors and nurses were actually very impressed by her fast growth. You still remember how proud you were of her ⏤ and you’re still very proud of everything she accomplishes. 

But since the day she was born, you can only see her as a tiny little baby. Your tiny baby.    

“Mommy, daddy is coming soon?” Her little eyes look up at you.  

You quickly glance down at your watch to check what time it is. 

“He should be coming any minute,” you tell her. 

Moon’s father, Jimin, isn't your partner anymore, and today is the day he’s coming to pick her up to spend the week with her. When you broke up with Jimin, you agreed to share Moon’s custody. One week she’s with you, the next one she’s with Jimin. In the last three years, everything has been working out pretty well. 

“Have you already chosen the movie you want to watch?” 

For the past couple of weeks, the day you or Jimin pick up Moon at the other’s place, the three of you watch a movie together. You always come around 2 pm to enjoy a good afternoon together. Moon is always the one to choose the movie, and you and her father just let her do. It’s better if she enjoys this moment as much as she can. She doesn’t like watching tv, but she can open an exemption for her disney movies. 

Since she’s a little baby, you’ve been watching all the disney movies with her so she would know them when she’s older. Today, she loves them so much that she just wants to watch them, making you and Jimin watch them again and again.   

“Not sure yet,” she answers. “We can choose when daddy comes.” 

“Okay, booboo.” 

The dress is finally correctly put on your baby, she looks so beautiful. Every week, when Jimin takes her, it always breaks your heart. You perfectly know she’ll be in good hands but being apart from your baby is tough. If things depended on you, you’d be 24/7 around your daughter. But that’s life. She has a father who isn’t your partner anymore, and she deserves to be with him and to be loved by him. The only perk of sharing custody is that you can do your own things when Moon is at her father’s. 

Your eyes roam at the tiny little girl standing in front of you, causing a smile to spread on your face. She looks a lot like her father. She isn’t totally a mini-living version of him, but she inherited a lot of his traits. There’s also a lot about her personality that reminds you of him. She clearly takes a lot after him. However, your favorite thing about their resemblance is the way she smiles with her eyes just like him.

The doorbell rings, making your daughter run to the entrance to open the door to her beloved daddy. She always does that when he comes, she always wants to be the first to see him. As you leave her bedroom to join the two of them, you hear Jimin’s voice. 

“My little princess,” he says before grabbing his little daughter. 

From afar, you watch this tender moment between a father and a daughter. Their reunion every two weeks melts your heart. It just perfectly shows the sweet and gentle love they have for each other. Even if today you aren’t with Jimin anymore, for sure, you chose the best father for your daughter. 

As you see them today, you believe that breaking up was the best decision you both took three years ago. Things wouldn’t be as they are today, you’re completely sure about it. Most probably your little family would be more broken, and you’re convinced that you wouldn’t even speak with your ex which in the end would be absolutely sad.  

At first, you deeply regretted offering your daughter this kind of dysfunctional family. For a long time, you were persuaded that she would be destroyed because of this separation that happened when she was only seven months old. However, as you and Jimin made everything to remain friends for her own good, you got to see your daughter blooming into this remarkable human being. In the end, this dysfunctional family is her kind of normal because you always made sure she came first.

“Hey,” you say as you get closer to the two of them. 

Jimin’s face turns to look at you, his smile never leaving his face. Your heart squeezes when his eyes lock with yours. He looks absolutely stunning with that brown polo and black classic pants. His sleeves are rolled up, and you can see in his hands a black cap. His strong arms tightly hold your little princess who is now looking at you too. 

Lately, things have changed between you and Moon’s father. After you ended things with your ex, a sexual tension has been growing between the two of you. At first, it was just a simple flirt between the two of you, something completely innocent. Honestly, you let it happen because it reminded you of the ten years you spent with him. It felt good to be back to how things were. 

Seeing movies every sunday with your daughter is just an excuse to spend more time together. Honestly, it’s good to be able to spend more time together. Also, you’ve noticed how happier your baby is after the now-weekly movie session. In the end, this little excuse to flirt more and be more together has a lot of positive outcomes. 

None of you has actually thought of what could eventually happen if you decide to ever go further than flirting. However, you are both trying to be extremely careful because there is Moon. Any decision that you might take will impact her first, and you both want to keep this dynamic that has been working for three years now. 

“Hi, yn,” Jimin says as he takes a step closer in your direction. 

The man presses a kiss on your cheek, causing an intense wave of heat to suddenly grow inside you. Lately, every time he presses a soft kiss on your cheeks or even if his body brushes against yours, you instantly feel extremely hot. The power the man holds over you still blows your mind.  

Moon also takes advantage to press a kiss on your other cheek, and you smile as the two of them simply show you affection. 

“Mama is really beautiful,” your daughter says as she looks now to her dad.

Your daughter always adores complimenting you, she probably takes that after her father. While you were together, the man would shower you with compliments, it was his way of showing his love for you. It honestly made you extremely happy, and now, you have this little pumpkin who constantly does the same.   

“She really is!” Jimin agrees, his eyes still devouring you. 

Your eyes don’t ever leave his figure. Jimin has been letting his hair grow lately, and you believe that it suits him really well. With the cap in his hand, you can totally picture him with it on his long hair. He must look like a whole damn snack. A snack you’d definitely love to take a bite. 

“And both of you also are very handsome!” you reply with a bright smile on your face. 

They are more than handsome. They are perfect. The most perfect human beings you have ever laid eyes on. Well, technically, Moon is only this perfect because the man holding her right now made love to you almost five years ago. She is perfect because her father is too.      

For a brief moment, your eyes glance at the two of them, but every time they land on Jimin, all you can sense is the growing sexual tension. The tension between you and Jimin has reached its highest peak for the past few days. The man in front of you has been texting you a lot, being quite flirty with you, and honestly, he would have preferred if the two of you were alone. But today, he’s here for his daughter. For you, he already has some ideas behind his mind for another day.    

“So, we’re going to watch that movie?” Jimin asks your little daughter. 

His eyes move from you to his princess. Every time he looks at her, all he thinks about is the ten years of sweet love he shared with you. The ten years spent with you were definitely the best years of his life, and just like you, today, he doesn’t regret how things have changed between the two of you. For sure, he would have preferred to give another kind of family to his baby. If he could, he would give her the same kind of family he grew up in.  

But it’s life. 

Things can’t always be the way we want them, but Jimin has been trying to give the best to his daughter. Being on good terms with you has always been his top priority because he knows it will affect your little baby. Her happiness comes before anything else.  

“Yes!” Moon exclaims with delight. 

The three of you head to the living room, Jimin sitting on the couch while you grab the remote control. He sits on the couch with Moon on his lap, she gets all comfortable in her father’s arms before you quickly join them. As you turn the tv on, you take a seat next to your ex. Your little baby looks at you with a bright smile on her face, showing you just how much happiness this moment brings to her.  

“Which movie do you want to watch?” 

Moon starts thinking about what she’d like to see but knowing her, it’s probably going to take her three hours before she makes a decision. 

“What about Frozen?” you suggest as you set Disney + on tv. 

“No,” she says, shaking her head. 

“Zootopia?” Jimin proposes. 

Moon doesn’t seem convinced by your suggestions. That girl doesn’t watch that much tv but she’s still very tough when it comes to choosing something. On top of that, she’s also extremely tired today. Last night, she wasn’t feeling very well which led her to not sleep a lot. Most probably, she’s going to fall asleep during the movie but it’ll be okay. You prefer that honestly. 

“Raya!” She almost screams as she sees the movie being suggested on the screen. 

“Okay, booboo,” you say as you select Raya and the last dragon. 

Moon gets all comfortable on her father’s lap after he pulls a blanket on her small body. You smile as you see them. The bond between a father and a daughter is truly magical. Every time you see Jimin and Moon interacting together, it reminds you of the close relationship you have with your father. He has always been there for you, he has always given you the right amount of love, and since you were a little baby, you’d do anything for him. 

As you see Moon and Jimin, you know that they’ll share the same bond. It will for sure be different but it will be a very strong one. Plus, she’s a total daddy’s girl. She has Jimin wrapped around her little fingers, and he’ll do anything for her. For sure, in the future, she’ll be the one doing everything for him.     

On the couch, you try to get as close as possible to them, but you also try to not stick your body against your ex's. Although things are getting to a completely new place with him, you’re just scared to do something completely inappropriate, especially with Moon around. When there’s just the two of you, it’s okay to be very touchy or to be flirty, but when Moon is around and awake, you try to be very careful with everything you do.  

The movie starts, but you already know it by heart. Your daughter adores it so much, you have seen it a million times. But honestly, you also like the movie so you don’t mind watching it over and over again. 

As the movie progresses, Jimin slowly moves closer to you while your baby is falling asleep in his lap. Since he’s really subtle, you don’t even notice his body getting closer to yours. 

“She must be pretty exhausted,” Jimin whispers in your ear, causing you to jump with fear. 

“Gosh, you scared me, Jimin!” You press your hand on your chest before looking up at him. 

His face is very close to yours, his hot breath is falling on your face, and his dark orbs are glued on you. The last time you were this close was a week ago, at his place. Before the movie session, you both prepared some snacks in the kitchen, and you almost bumped into each other. That closeness almost caused you to kiss but it didn’t happen since Moon abruptly appeared in the kitchen. 

Your heart is beating extremely fast in your chest. He’s way too close to you, and you don’t really know what to do. So your eyes glance down at your daughter to avoid looking at the man who has been haunting your wildest dreams for the past few weeks. As you look at your baby, you can see that she’s already sleeping peacefully on her daddy. 

“She didn’t sleep well last night,” you admit as you watch her sleeping like a little angel. “She wasn’t feeling well, and she spent most of the night awake.” 

Slowly, you glance up at him to catch a bit of his reaction. His facial expression gets softer as he realizes that his baby must be pretty exhausted. Nights like this are something you are both familiar with. Moon is still very young so she gets sick pretty easily which also impacts her sleep quality. Thankfully, she takes naps the day after to compensate.     

“I’m actually relieved that she fell asleep now, I was scared she wouldn’t sleep at all today,” you tell him. 

“But how was she this morning?” He asks with concern. 

“She was sleepy but I put her in front of her favorite cartoons,” putting her favorite cartoons always makes her sleep, and it’s something that surprises you. “My parents were supposed to come but I canceled last minute to see if she could sleep a bit before you’d arrive.” 

The entire morning, she was lying on the couch with her little milk in her hand and her eyes glued to the tv. Those things comfort her when she’s not doing well, and they always help to put her back to sleep. However, this morning, she only slept for about an hour. 

“She didn’t sleep a lot, I guess she was just too excited to see you today.” 

A small smile appears on his face. He also gets pretty excited when he needs to come to your place to pick her up. He loves to see his daughter. 

“You could have told me,” he says. “I would have come on another day.” 

“She’s not doing well, Jimin, and she needs her father.” 

Just the thought of telling her that her daddy wouldn’t be coming today devastates you. You know how much she was looking forward to this exact moment. Nothing is as important as this right here. 

“She would have cried if you didn’t come. She loves those movie sessions with us, she loves to see us coming to pick her up every Sunday. This is what helps her to feel good. I don’t want to take this away from her, especially when she’s not feeling well.” 

Jimin presses a soft kiss on your forehead. Even if today you aren’t together anymore, he’s sure he chose the best mama for his baby. There’s nobody else he would have loved to have a kid with, and if he ever wants to have more, it’ll be with you. Nobody else. Even all the exes he has accumulated for the past three years can’t compare with you. 

His mother told him once that no matter what, he’ll always be drawn to you. Not only you are his first love, but you’re also the mother of his child. Even if you’ll never be together anymore, the love and bond between you will always be special. 

However, today, he’s convinced that it goes beyond that. Today, he’s convinced that he’ll never be able to love anyone else. Those last three years without you have taught him that. He has grown to understand that a life without you isn’t even possible. 

The two of you started dating when you were only fifteen. You were very young but madly in love. Nobody thought things would work between you because you were very different. Jimin was the typical bad boy while you were more of a discreet girl. It almost looked like a cliché teenage movie, but eventually, the two of you completely changed the other. 

After eight solid years of relationship, things started to get pretty rocky. All due to a friend you met at work. Jimin considered that he was clearly flirting with you, even in front of him when you strongly believed it wasn’t the case. Slowly, jealousy started to take a big place in your relationship and it destroyed the trust you both had for each other. 

Since you didn’t want to lose Jimin, you took some distance from that coworker but it was obvious that your relationship with your boyfriend would never be the same. Things were different but you were doing everything to try to save it. In the middle of all that turbulence, you got pregnant, and you both worked harder to make it work. 

Moon’s arrival clearly changed everything, but she didn’t help to improve your relationship. Everything was already falling apart when you got pregnant. When you realize it, you simply decide to end everything before it got worse. It wasn’t easy for the two of you. It was definitely hard to put behind ten years of love. 

But it was the best decision for Moon.       

“And how are you feeling?” 

Jimin knows that if Moon hasn’t slept, you didn’t too. His little girl always needs her mama when she’s not feeling well because nobody can bring as much comfort to her as you do. 

His concern warms your heart. Beyond being all flirty with you, Jimin has also shown a lot more love to you. In the end, you’re not just Moon’s mother. Slowly, you rest your head on his shoulder because you need to feel him in any way. He puts his head on top of yours, his heart being overwhelmed with love. Two of the women he loves the most are snuggled up against him.  

“I’m tired, but I’ve known worse,” you whisper. 

The first weeks of Moon’s life were a nightmare, and you survived them. She was very tiny and needed her mother and father. She’d cry a lot which was totally normal for a newborn since she wasn’t able to take care of herself. On top of that, she was born prematurely so you’d visit the pediatrician quite often to make sure she’d be alright.  

So if you survived that period, you believe that nothing can be worse than that. 

Although your daughter is sleeping peacefully, you and Jimin keep watching the movie together. This feels like heaven for the two of you. Almost like you were brought back to three years ago. 

Once the movie is finished, Jimin takes Moon in his arms and places her on her little bed. He’s definitely not going to take her home now, he prefers that she sleeps. From her room’s door, you watch him put her carefully on the bed, an apparent smile growing on your face. He pushes the sheets on her tiny body before joining you. 

As his eyes roam your face, he tries to think of a way to express his wish to stay longer. He’s thinking about how to formulate it without sounding like a desperate man. However, he ignores that you want him to stay.  

“Do you want to stay until she wakes up?” you offer him. 

Without any second thoughts, he nods, more than happy to stay longer than he was supposed to initially.  

“A glass of wine?” you suggest. 

“No, I still need to drive Moon to my place,” he tells you. “But if you have anything else, I won’t say no.”  

Certainly, you have more than just wine to drink in your house. Your little daughter is too young to drink alcohol, but she’s obsessed with apple juice. You always make sure to have enough of her favorite juice at home so for sure you have some of it. The two of you leave her little room to head to the kitchen. Once you’re inside, you open the fridge to see what you have inside to drink. 

“I have some leftovers of Moon’s apple juice in the fridge,” you tell your ex. “Or I have water,” you show him the bottle on the worktop of the kitchen. 

“I’ll take the apple juice.” 

His fridge is also full of apple juice just for his little baby. Every Saturday, he does some grocery shopping, and he buys everything Moon loves. He constantly makes sure to have all her little things in his house in case some emergency appears and she has to stay with him on the week she’s supposed to be with you. 

You take the juice box as well as two glasses, and you fill them with the sweet juice. You hand one glass to Jimin before taking the other for yourself. His eyes never cease to glance at you. He takes one sip before putting his glass on the little table. The man comes closer to you, your heart hammering in your chest as the distance between the two of you slowly disappears. 

Your mind keeps wondering what he’s going to do. After ten years of relationship, you can easily say that this man right here is completely unpredictable. He can go from sweet to dirty in a blink of an eye. And when he gets dirty, he really gets super dirty. His super dirty mind will bring the two of you to bed, his head between your thighs. 

Once his face is super close to yours, your eyes are instantly fluttering shut. A smirk grows on his face as he watches you closing your eyes. His breathing caresses your face while his sweet scent lingers in the air. Your heart is beating extremely fast, ready to leave you at any moment. 

“There’s something we started last week that Moon didn’t let us finish,” he whispers in your ear with his deepest voice. 

Shivers run down your spine, and you keep your eyes close, too scared to take a look at the man in front of you. You perfectly can picture the expression on his face right now. For sure, the dirtiest smirk is on his face, and his eyes are filled with lust. That expression will for sure have you so weak that you’ll instantly fall into his arms. 

“What are you talking about?” you tease him a bit. 

You perfectly know what he’s referring to, but it won’t hurt to just play a tiny bit with him. Well, most probably, Jimin will tease you a million times more. 

“Do you want me to remind you?” 

Instantly, you open your eyes, your heart pounding extremely fast as you realize what is about to happen. For the past week, your mind has been thinking over and over again about the moment where you almost kissed. That moment, you desperately wanted to taste his lips on yours again but Moon put an end to that. 

Jimin’s eyes are hungrily devouring you while he waits for an answer from you. Your eyes move from his eyes to his plump lips, resting a little too much on them while you wonder how it will feel to kiss him again. Will it be like before? Or will it feel like kissing him for the first time? The more you think about it, the more you want to taste them.  

“Yes, remind me what Moon interrupted,” you almost beg. 

The black-haired man doesn’t waste another second before pressing his lips against yours for a fervent kiss. His hand finds its way to the back of your neck, holding you while he hungrily kisses you. 

After three years, you’re kissing again. It seems unbelievable.

His lips are extremely soft, but you were kind of expecting it. His plump lips have always felt soft when you both kiss, and you always loved that. However, even if you were expecting this softness, this kiss feels like the first one. This seems like it’s the first time you’re doing it while you have ten years of kissing history. Slowly, he starts moving his lips to passionately kiss you. 

Soon enough, his tongue is licking your lips so you can open your mouth. His tongue is desperate to meet yours after all this time. He’s desperate to deepen this kiss because just your lips on each other aren’t enough for him. He has been dreaming of this for the past couple of days. 

His hands move to your waist before bringing your body closer to his. He’s craving to feel more friction and to simply feel your body pressed against his. This sudden closeness after three years of simply co-parenting is driving both of you completely crazy. The two of you are starting to pant hard but it clearly doesn’t matter. 

His hands snail up to cup your face in them while the kiss becomes more and more ardent. This kiss is clearly indicating how desperate you both are for each other. The sexual tension has really been too much to handle lately. 

Out of breath, you break the kiss before pressing your forehead against his. Jimin is smiling, his eyes glued to your face while you try to catch your breath. Even after all those years, he still finds you extremely pretty and attractive.

As you look down at his hands, you notice the tattoo on his wrist. Four years ago, a couple of days after Moon’s birth, he got the number 13 tattooed. Not only does it stand for his birth date but it also stands for Moon’s birth date. Just like her father, she was born a 13. That tattoo always warms your heart in unexplained ways.    

“We should probably move to my room in case this goes any further,” you suggest before looking up at him.   

“But do you want to take this further?” Jimin asks. 

Even if your body is showing all the apparent signs that you want to do more than just kissing, he wants to be completely sure you want this. He doesn’t desire you to regret this tomorrow morning when you wake up. Even though this might be a simple one-night stand, he doesn’t want you to regret it. 

“More than you can imagine,” you reply before pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

The father of your child kisses you back, more than excited to show you how much he misses you. You intertwine your fingers together before guiding you both to your bedroom. The two of you try to be as quiet as possible since Moon is peacefully sleeping, and you don’t want to wake her up after the terrible night she had.  

Once inside your bedroom, you make sure to close the door. It wouldn’t be a great idea to have Moon seeing you doing unholy things with her father. Hopefully, she’ll sleep for a good two extra hours, and you won’t need to worry about being caught by your daughter. But it’s better to take precautions.

Jimin’s eyes roam the room where he hasn’t ever come in three years. After your breakup, you sold your shared apartment to move into a new one. The memories shared in that place were too intense and none of you wanted to stay there. Quickly after, you moved into this apartment but the only room Jimin never got to see was your bedroom. 

There is barely any decoration. There’s just a big bed in the middle of the room, two nightstands, one on each side of the bed, and there are some pictures here and there, mostly pictures of Moon. This room reminds him of his own bedroom. 

After living with you, it was hard to be on his own. A bedroom without you by his side was also extremely hard so he decided to put the bare minimum. However, his bedroom feels constantly empty, almost as if someone is missing. Today, he’s convinced that you’re the one missing.      

Jimin kisses you again once his eyes have done a quick tour of your bedroom. Naturally, you move to your bed where you know things will take a sexual turn. You can still stop things if you desire but your body is desperately craving for your ex. Your body needs are completely clouding your mind, and you honestly don’t care. Right now, all you want is to be intoxicated by your first love. 

As you break the kiss, you take his brown polo off, revealing his bare skin to your hungry eyes. You enjoy the view while being sat on his lap; his torso is in full display just for you. The first thing that catches your eyes is his ‘nevermind’ tattoo, it’s still extremely big but you always loved this tattoo so damn much. Then, you can’t help but notice how toned his torso has become. 

“You’ve been working out a lot for the past three years,” you say as your fingers touch his rib tattoo. 

“After Moon’s birth, I became so lazy, and it was time to work out again like I used to.” 

Jimin used to work out so much before your daughter’s arrival. There wasn’t a day where he wasn’t at the gym working out or he wasn’t doing any sport. He used to dance a lot as well as doing karate. 

“Do you still dance?” 

Your fingers trace from his tattoo to his chest, causing Jimin to shiver at the feeling of your fingertips brushing against his skin. 

“Of course, I never stopped,” he replies before pressing a quick kiss on your lips. “Dancing saved me after our breakup.” 

Hearing that your breakup equally devastated him breaks your heart. Jimin deserves all the best in the world because he’s such a beautiful soul. Never before have you met someone like him. He was your sunshine when you were together. Unfortunately, things weren’t working anymore, and it was definitely better to simply let go even if it was painful.  

And it was. 

Raising Moon on your own and not having Jimin constantly by your side was extremely hard. For sure, it was the most complicated time you faced in your life. But today, things are better and that experience made you grow as a human.  

You press your lips against his, expecting to reassure him in some way. He licks your bottom lip before he grips it with his teeth, making you moan. As he hears your sweet moan, his dick twitches inside his pants. As the sweet moan leaves your lips, you open your mouth, and Jimin seizes the occasion to slip his tongue inside your mouth. Another moan leaves your pretty lips at the feeling, and unintentionally, Jimin flexes his toned thigh. That simple action is felt in all the right places in your body, making your pussy clench around emptiness. 

Jimin instantly smirks, looking like the devil himself, and his hands snail down on your body to take off your shirt. His fingers softly caress your back as he brings you closer to him. His soft gestures create goosebumps all over your skin and a small whimper leaves your lips. 

His lips come closer to your ear before he whispers in the shell of it. “Take your pants off, honey.” 

Slowly, you stand up to undress in front of the man. He bites his lower lip as you unbutton your jeans, his length growing harder in his pants at the sight you’re offering him. He hasn’t seen you dressed in so little clothing in more than four years. The last time it happened was during your pregnancy. After Moon’s birth, you simply avoid having any sexual interactions. 

His cock twitches when he sees you wearing only your underwear. Even after giving birth to his favorite human, you look fine as hell. The thought of knowing that in a couple of minutes you won’t be wearing anything is slowly driving him crazy. 

When you start walking closer to him, Jimin adjusts himself in the bed, his back pressed against the headboard. He spreads his legs, subtly making you understand to take a seat on only one leg. There’s no doubt that he wants you to ride his thigh, and nothing in the world would make you happier than doing it.

Dry humping is something you used to do a lot when you were together. Your sex drive was insanely high during your whole relationship, and you’d have sex in very unusual places, even in public. It was hard to resist each other.

As you place yourself on his thigh, Jimin’s eyes roam your body. He bites harder on his bottom lip, especially once your body is on his thigh. This is highly alluring. 

“You look like a fucking dream!” He whispers. 

In those three years, he has seen a very huge amount of women but you are for sure the prettiest he has ever seen. He still perfectly remembers how he constantly compared all those women to you. It was most probably toxic, but you’re the only person he has ever found pretty. 

The compliment makes you smile as you know it’s a sincere one. After giving birth to Moon, it was hard to look at yourself in the mirror. Your body changed so much but with time, you learned to love it even more than before. That body you were despising was the first home to your baby and it also provided her all the nutrients she needed after she joined you. That was more than magical. Your body deserved to be loved for that.  

With the way you’re sitting on his leg, Jimin now has a proper view of your black laced panties. They hide enough of your private area but they also reveal just enough to make him want to see your pussy. His eyes are completely glued to your clothed pussy pressed against his dark pants.  

As you’re scared that Moon will wake up in the next few minutes, you waste no time in rolling your hips against his toned thigh. One of the perks of all the dancing and karate classes he took younger is his extremely toned thighs. Even when he stops working out or dancing, they are still super toned. 

But damn, those thighs have already procured you so much pleasure. 

“Fuck, yn,” he groans when you start moving your hips against his thigh.  

Jimin presses his lips on yours for a filthy kiss, his tongue passing past your lips to meet yours. This feels more than good. He forgot how everything about you can be addictive, and damn, he wants to do more than this. He wants to fuck you senseless until all you can think about is him. 

As his tongue plays with yours inside your mouth, his hands find their way to your waist and guide your hips as you’re straddling his thigh. A small moan leaves your lips but the man in front of you swallows it directly. Those intimate moments between you are something he has missed dearly. The connection you have is something extremely unique that he never experienced before with anyone else. 

Even if he wasn’t virgin when he met you, he truly discovered everything with you. The two of you explored so many things in your sexuality, and it made the bond between you grow stronger. When he looks into your eyes, he can exactly tell what you want, he doesn’t need you to verbally express it, something he couldn’t understand with any other girl.      

Your first love pushes his thigh firmly against your clothed pussy before flexing the muscle once more.  

“I like how you’re riding my thigh, yn,” he whispers against your lips. 

As you’re slowly moving your hips faster, you place your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself. Jimin shivers as your soft hands touch his body.  

“But I want to feel you properly,” he adds. 

Of course, he’s enjoying this moment with all his soul but he craves more. One of his hands slides down on your body to tug aside the fabric of your panties until your clit is directly pressed against his black pants. A breath falls from your lips as you drag your pussy against the thick material of his pants.   

Jimin pulls you firmly against his flexed muscle, and once his hands are back on your waist, he quickens the pace of your hips. Although you’re fighting as much as you can to not moan a lot, it’s almost impossible due to all the pleasure you’re feeling at the moment. This will for sure wake up your little baby. A trail of barely audible moans leaves your mouth, loving the friction of his pants against your pussy. 

“I wish you didn’t have to hold back your moans, honey,” he whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “I’d love to hear you moan my name.”  

Jimin is a master when it comes to dirty talking. He just knows what to say and when to do it. In your ten years of relationship, he was able to make you come just with words which is extremely incredible.  

As you’re riding his thigh harder and faster, his cock gets harder and tighter inside his pants. If he doesn’t do anything right now, he’ll explode in his pants. While you’re still completely euphoric by the way you’re riding his thigh, he lowers his pants and underwear a tiny bit to allow his cock to slap against his lower stomach. 

When you notice the little monster being freed, your eyes glance down at it. His cock takes your breath away, standing proud in between your bodies. His fingers grab a hold of his cock before moving them up and down the length. This sight alone gets you wetter. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles, his head slowly going back at the feeling of his fingers on his length and your clit rubbing against him. “You’re doing this so well, honey.” 

Your teeth bite your bottom lip as you stare deep into his eyes. The intimacy of the eye contact with the friction against your clit makes the wave of pleasure grow intensely inside you. You know that you won’t last long before your orgasm hits you hard.  

“Pleasuring yourself on my thigh while I touch myself,” he growls in your ear while his hand keeps pumping his cock. “It’s extremely hot, honey.”  

Jimin runs his thumb over the tip of his cock, his teeth gripping his bottom lip between his teeth. The pace of his strokes on his cock follows the pace of your hips working on his thigh. You can see on his face that it’s also a matter of minutes or seconds before he’s coming on his hand. 

“Fuck, yn,” his eyes glance down at your throbbing pussy rubbing against his thigh, “you’re doing it perfectly.” 

At his words, you buck your pussy faster against his thigh. You can feel that you’re getting closer and closer to hitting your orgasm.  

“Jimin,” his gaze meets yours once again when you say his name, “I’m so close...” you almost whimper.  

The hand resting on your waist snails down on your body, his thumb starting to circle on your clit. It instantly sends you over the edge, the wave of pleasure hitting you hard. You bite your lips and close your eyes at the overwhelming feeling. You try as hard as possible to not moan as you don’t want to make too much noise.  

The sight of you coming undone makes him come. Just like you, he bites his lips to refrain any moan to leave his lips. Your daughter’s sleep is extremely important. As the orgasm overwhelms him, cum flows on his hand and some spurts of cum hit his abs. 

Your eyes glance down with marvel at the way he’s coming. His hot cum flowing from his head makes you want to lick it. Before any of you gets the time to do or say anything else, you hear the handle of your bedroom’s door moving. 

“Shit, she’s awake,” you swear before quickly standing up to put your clothes back on. 

As you’re putting the clothes on again, you give Jimin some towels to clean himself before he also puts his clothes back on. A loud knock is quickly heard, and Moon’s voice calls for you. Her little sleepy voice melts your heart instantly, causing you to feel sorry to have closed the door. But damn, you don’t regret anything that happened with Jimin.  

Moon knocks again at the door before speaking once more. “Mama, why is your door closed?”

Once you’re fully dressed, you take one quick look at Jimin. His clothes are again on him but his hair is all messed up. Anyone looking at him can perfectly understand that he just had an orgasm. A small smile appears on your face. 

Quickly, you run to the door and open it to your baby. To her surprise, she sees both her parents in the same room. That is something quite unexpected for her, but she’s happy that her mama and dadda get along so well. 

“Why is dadda in your room?” She asks, her little finger pointing to her father. 

As she raises the question, you know that you have like five seconds to come up with something otherwise it’ll be suspicious. Jimin gets closer to the two of you, his hand pushing his hair back to arrange it a bit. 

“We were taking a little nap while you were sleeping,” he presses a small kiss on her forehead before taking her in his arms. “But how are you feeling, my little princess?” 

Jimin knows that if he completely changes the conversation’s topic, Moon will forget about this little weird moment. None of you ever imagined being interrupted by your little daughter during such a moment, but that for sure made it unforgettable. 

“Tired,” she simply replies before pressing her little head on the crook of his neck. 

Your heart instantly melts, and you can’t help but press a soft kiss on her forehead. She’s absolutely adorable but you know that she’s sick. For sure, tomorrow, you’ll have to go to the doctor with her to see what’s going on with your little baby. You and Jimin hate to see her like that, you feel extremely powerless. 

Jimin’s aware that he can’t just take her home like that, she needs her mama more than anything else right now. 

“I’ll take you home with me now, baby,” he starts saying. “What do you think if mama comes with us?” 

His eyes glance down at you to see your reaction. He believes it’d be a good idea that the three of you go to his place so Moon can fall asleep easier tonight. 

“If mama is okay to come with us,” he adds. 

Your hand brushes back your daughter’s hair so you can see her little face even if she’s hiding most of it. Nothing will ease your heart than going with them to Jimin’s place. Tonight, you know you won’t be able to sleep if she’s far away from you while being sick. 

“I will come with you, booboo. Is that okay for you?” You ask her before pressing a sweet kiss on her plump cheek. 

Of course, you’ll only go if she wants it. You would never want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. You’ve already been a lot of times to his place when she was feeling sick, and it wouldn’t be something new. But this time around is different, you’ll be leaving your place together to go to his place. This never happened before, and you’re a bit scared that she wouldn’t feel comfortable. 

“Yes, I want mama,” she says with a very little voice. 

Your heart aches at her little voice. You hug Jimin to have your daughter in between the two of you. Feeling loved during this hard time for her will for sure help her, you know it. She always calls for the missing parent when she’s sick. 

“I’ll come then,” you whisper. 

Although this little hug is mostly for your daughter, your and Jimin’s hearts are also overwhelmed with love. This sweet and soft moment right after such a wild moment feels like going to heaven. The three of you close your eyes to enjoy this very rare moment. 

This is family, an unbreakable bond between parents and their children.  

The three of you are in Jimin’s kitchen. 

Moon is sleeping once again in her father’s arms, she fell asleep right after eating her dinner, and you and Jimin are talking. After arriving at his place, you and her father prepared dinner together. You also took her temperature, and it’s unusually high. There’s no doubt that tomorrow, you’ll call her pediatrician to check up on her health. Something is definitely wrong with her, and it breaks your heart. 

“Tomorrow, I’ll call the pediatrician to check if she has some availabilities.” 

Your fingers run through her soft black hair, the exact same hair color as her father’s. She looks like a little angel when she sleeps, and when she’s sick, her little cheeks get pink which makes her look even cuter. 

“I’m so worried,” you add. 

Jimin’s eyes move from his daughter to you. 

“She’s going to be okay, she’s a little fighter like her mama,” he tries to reassure you. “She’ll be fine in a week or so.” 

“I know but my little mom’s heart always gets so concerned when she gets sick.” 

His face gets closer to yours before his lips press a soft kiss on top of your head. This tender gesture really warms your heart. You’re more than thankful to have him by your side when it gets hard with Moon. 

“It’s normal, but I’ll always be by your side, yn.” 

When your eyes look up at the man holding your baby, you close the small distance between your faces by kissing him. Those past few days and especially today have confirmed that the flame that you thought had died three years ago is still there. Your heart still deeply loves Jimin. Your ex wasn’t expecting this at all but it definitely brings hope for the future. 

“Thank you, Jimin.” 

He presses another quick kiss on your lips. 

“We've been on this together since the second Moon bloomed in your stomach,” his eyes look down at the little princess sleeping in his arms. 

Being a father has been the biggest achievement of his life. Nothing brings more happiness than seeing his daughter bloom into the little person she’s becoming. She’s very strong and independent which always makes him feel pride. 

Becoming the father of Moon only happened because you carried her for nine months before giving birth to her. He’s a father because the two of you worked together to bring her to life and to raise her. So, he’ll forever be thankful for it. 

“I’ll put her in her bed, she’ll be more comfortable,” Jimin says before the two of you stand up. He holds Moon tightly in his arms as he walks to her little bedroom. You open the door for him, and once again, he puts her on her bed. 

Hopefully, tonight, she’ll be able to sleep a bit more than she did last night as well as during the day. Your eyes glance down at your baby with concern. All you hope is that tomorrow she’ll feel at least a bit better because you won’t be able to handle seeing her like this for a long time. 

Jimin leaves her bedroom after he makes sure that she’s safe under her bedsheets. Since Moon is deeply afraid of the dark, he leaves the door open so the light of the hallway lightens her room. 

“Would you like to stay a little longer?” he asks while you’re walking in the hallway. “I’d like to suggest bringing you home,” he quickly glances at his daughter’s bedroom, “but there’s Moon.” 

Jimin would have loved to drive you home so he’d get a tiny bit more time with you. However, his little princess is sleeping in her little bed. He can’t leave her here or to take her with you. 

Your heart is beating fast. It’s a bit surprising that he’s proposing you to stay at his place. Well, it occurs you that maybe ⏤  just maybe ⏤  he wants to finish what you started at your place. You wouldn’t mind at all to end what you began earlier. Sex with Jimin has always been mind blowing. For sure, after three years, you still have to rediscover each other in bed.  

“Well, I’d like to if you let me,” you finally say with obvious nervousness in your voice. 

A bright smile appears on his face as he hears your words. He doesn’t dare to look at you as he also feels nervous. Obviously, he likes you and wants to maybe give another chance to your relationship. 

But being around you, and even thinking of spending the night with you, makes him feel like this is all new. It makes him feel like he’s back to high school when he was trying to flirt with you more than ten years ago. 

“There’s nothing I’d like more, yn,” he says while finally looking at you. 

You’re now at the entrance of the living room, standing face to face. He leans against the outline of the door while crossing his arms against his chest, his eyes never once leaving yours. For a moment, you simply don’t speak, only looking at each other. 

His eyes are sparkling, just like they did when you started dating thirteen years ago. You wonder if you’re looking at him the same way. Definitely, you really want to stay a little longer with him. It feels good to be around him. It feels good to be wanted all over again by your first love. 

“In all honesty, yn,” Jimin says after a little while. “I would really like to give us a second chance.” 

The past three years, he has been hooking up with a lot of girls. At first, it was to drown his sorrows, to get you out of his head. He knew he’d never find love in those women, and honestly, he didn’t want to love any of them. The pain of the breakup was still hard to handle. 

However, a year ago, he fell in love with Gayeong. He really loved her, he even introduced her to Moon. In his mind, he was certain that he’d be with her for a long time. On your side, you were dating Seokhoon for two years. This new blended family was working just fine for all of you. Moon even adored Gayeong and Seokhoon. 

Nevertheless, things with them ended. It was hard but slowly, everything changed between you. What was an innocent flirt turned into Sunday’s movies and suddenly, you’re here, wanting to give each other another chance. 

And now, your heart is hammering like crazy in your chest, ready to burst any second.  

“Flirting with you lately has brought me back to when we were fifteen,” a little smile appears on his face. “To when I was trying to desperately get you.” 

You still remember perfectly how it felt to be chased by the one and only Jimin, the popular guy every girl desired to be with. You were young and very naive as well, but he was the first man to have ever truly seen you. Of course, you really wanted to start dating him, but you still make it a bit difficult for him to see how far he’d go to have you. 

However, once you got together, you thought it’d be for life. Time prouved you wrong. Yet, lately, you’ve been feeling like probably he has been the one since the beginning. Maybe, you just needed some time apart to grow.  

“Things are for sure different now due to the fact that we have a daughter,” his smile grows bigger as he mentions his daughter. “But the feeling is the same,” he pauses for a hot minute. “I want you.” 

Right there and then, you feel the world freezing instantly. Even though it was pretty clear that he’s been wanting you back in your life, it’s something different to hear it from his mouth. It makes it feel real. 

Although it warms your heart to hear those words, there is a harsh reality. Today, you have a daughter, and obviously, she’d understand you’re together. Most probably, she’d be super happy that her parents are back together. So, if things go wrong all over again, she’ll suffer the most from it. 

There’s no doubt that no matter what, you’ll keep it cordial with Jimin. But it’d be too painful because this time around, Moon will be hurt. 

“Jimin,” you break the small distance between you. Your face gets super serious, and Jimin almost instantly regrets his words. “As you said, things are different now. We can’t just step into a relationship like that. There’s Moon. If this all goes wrong, she’d be the first impacted.” 

His eyes briefly close. The last thing he wants is to cause any harm to his daughter, but he can’t just push away his feelings for you. It’ll be unbearable to be around you and not be able to love you the way he wants.  

“I know, yn,” he opens his eyes. “She’s always the person I put first under any circumstances,” his right hand travels to your cheek to caress it. “But right now, you’re the person I want to be with,” you close your eyes. “This whole thing of watching movies together wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t love you,” he marks a little break. “I never stopped loving you, yn. Never,” he insists on his last word. 

Jimin being vulnerable like he is right now doesn’t happen often. Most of the time, he hides his feelings, too scared to be hurt. During your ten years of relationship, he wouldn’t hide anything from you. But he closed himself to you once you broke up. So this right here warms your heart beyond comprehension. 

You rest your hand on top of his, stroking it with your thumb. “I don’t want to get hurt,” evident sadness can be heard in your voice. “I don’t want our daughter to get hurt.” 

Your daughter’s father wishes he could promise that none of you will get hurt, but it’s a promise he can’t make. The future isn’t predictable. However, he can promise he will do everything in his power to avoid hurting any of you. 

“I can’t promise that, yn,” he murmurs. 

Hearing those words break your heart. It’s obvious he can’t guarantee that, life is full of surprises after all. The proof is that you broke up three years ago when you thought he’ll forever stood by your side. 

“But I can promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to not do it,” you open your eyes to look at your first love. “That’s all I can do.” 

You press your head against his chest while closing your eyes. Although you wish he’d say something else, you perfectly know that it’s the only thing he can promise. And it goes both ways. Obviously, you want to try again but there is a possibility where you’re the one hurting him. There is possibility where you’re responsible for your daughter’s pain. 

Jimin wraps his arms around you before pressing a gentle kiss on top of your head. For a while, you simply stay like that. There’s nothing to be said nor that needs to be said. This is a moment you both need. Of course, there’s been a lot of flirting, and teasing lately which inevitably lead to what happened at your place. You don’t regret it. But it opens the door to a possibility where you both give another shot to your relationship. 

However, it leaves you wondering if it is a good idea. 

“Can I stay for the night?” you finally break the silence.”I don’t want to stay too far from Moon,” you try to find an excuse. 

“Yes,” he instantly replies. “I’ll leave you my bed and I’ll sleep in the couch.” 

This sounds like the correct approach, especially since you’re not sure about anything right now. Even though there’s nothing more you’d want but to sleep next to him, it’s better like that. 

“I can sleep in the couch,” you tell him. “I almost invited myself to your place so no need to make you sleep on the couch.” 

“You’re my guest so I’ll never make you sleep in my couch,” he starts saying. “And my couch can turn into a bed so don’t worry, yn.” 

Well, knowing Jimin, you can argue as much as you can, he’ll stand his position. There’s no way he’ll let you sleep on the couch so no need to keep arguing. It’ll just be a waste of time for both of you. 

“Okay,” you say. 

You don’t let go of Jimin for a solid ten more minutes. It feels good to be in his arms, it feels good to only be intoxicated by his sweet scent. There’s no other place you’d want to be right now. 

After that, he guids you to his bedroom. This is a place you’ve never seen before. It feels like you’re violating his intimate area. Your eyes wander in this very simply decorated room while he grabs some bedsheets.  

“Would you want pajamas?” he proposes. 

“If you don’t mind.” 

Jimin simply nods before handing you one of his pajamas. He doesn’t have many pajamas, he only used them during winter as it gets very cold. Otherwise, he doesn’t use them at all. 

“Thanks,” you smile at him while grabbing it. 

Your baby’s daddy smiles back at you. “I’ll let you sleep. Let me know if you need anything else.” 

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” you tell him. 

“Goodnight, yn,” he whispers before pressing a kiss on your forehead. 

“Goodnight, Jimin,” you reply with your eyes closed. 

This morning, Moon woke up feeling great which was a huge contrast with how she was yesterday. But it eased your mother’s heart. So you took the decision with Jimin to not go to the pediatrician today, but you’ll keep a close eye on your baby. 

When she saw you this morning, she was more than happy. She definitely wasn’t expecting it, you could tell it by the way her eyes were sparkling. She was even happier when both her parents dropped her at school. Afterwards, Jimin drove you to your place so you could get ready to go to work. 

This weekend was intense, but one you’ll for sure never forget. You flirted with your ex-boyfriend, then had sex with him, and finally, had an openhearted conversation. 

The entire day, your mind was constantly replaying Jimin's words, wondering what to do. However, what you’re certain of is that you want to have a conversation with him. So, you texted him that your mother would pick up Moon at school. 

Jimin is the proud owner of a coffee shop. He opened it a couple of years ago, it was his dream. It wasn’t easy at first. There were a lot of expenses and it wasn’t easy to find customers. But slowly with time, it became easier. 

As you step inside the little shop, you instantly notice that there are quite a lot of people. You aren’t actually very surprised. This coffee shop is currently a bit popular on instagram and tiktok, and in some way, it makes you incredibly proud of him. 

Your eyes look around, admiring how it has been decorated. It’s been a while since you last came here. Well, if you think about it, the last time you were here was at the very early beginning. This shop has existed for like four years, it’s as old as Moon. So, it definitely has been awhile.  

Jimin now has four employees helping him out with everything. At some point, it became just too much for one person so he slowly hired new people. Right now, he is behind the cash register, talking with someone. He’s smiling at the person, and you can’t help but find him adorable. 

As he looks up, his gaze meets yours before his smile grows bigger. Although you informed him you’d like to speak, he wasn’t expecting you to actually come here. He thought that you’d like him to come to your place or something like that. However, it’s a very pleasant surprise. 

You walk in his direction, queueing as it’d be rude to just pass before everyone else. You look at menu hanging behind Jimin, thinking about what you’d like to order. When you’re finally in front of him, you both look at each other with the brightest smiles. 

“What would you like to order?” he asks. 

“Well, I’d like to order the owner,” you teasingly say, causing Jimin to blush. “Together with a simple latte with soy milk and a portion of banana bread.” 

For a brief moment, your baby daddy seems to be thinking about what he could reply to this. 

“I can give you all of that,” he replies. “For the owner though, you’ll have to wait a little longer.” 

“No problem,” you know you both look like two idiots right now but you absolutely don’t care. “How much do I owe you?” 

“Nothing, it’s on the house.” 

“I can’t accept that, Mister Park,” you instantly say with evident seriousness. 

Jimin sighs. If he even tries to argue, he knows it’s a lost cause. He knows how damn well you can be very subborn. So he ends up making you pay for your order. You then head to the counter on your right to wait for your order, but the wait isn’t long as a server quickly brings it to you. Afterwards, you look for a place to sit while you wait for Jimin, aka the man who owns your heart. 

Since it’s almost closing time, it slowly gets less and less crowded. Once there are barely any customer left, Jimin takes a seat on the chair in front of yours, your bodies being only separated by a table. 

“Wasn’t expecting you to come,” he smiles at you. 

“Me neither,” you reply. “I decided last minute,” you continue. “I was going to wait at my place, but then I wanted to see your coffee shop.” 

Jimin doesn’t know how to describe how he’s feeling right now. For sure, it’s been a long time that he hasn’t seen you here. Last time, Moon was only a couple of months old. 

“I’m very glad you came.” 

Seeing him this happy warms your heart beyond comprehension. On top of that, being around him lately also makes you happy. He’s obviously a fucking tease, but he’s someone you deeply care for and love too. 

“Me too.” 

“So where do you want to go?” he asks while placing his elbows on the table to rest his head on his hands. 

“Maybe to my place?” you suggest. “Or yours if you prefer.” 

“Both suit me,” he says. “Then, we can go to yours.” 

He isn’t sure what you want to talk about, but as long as he gets to spend a tiny bit more time with you, it makes him happy. 

You simply nod at his answer, and he quickly informs one of his employees to close the store since he’s leaving now. In a matter of seconds, he’s back again so you both can go to your place. 

Jimin drives you to your place, and quite honestly, it’s incredibly hot to see him driving. As you sometimes eye him during the drive, seeing him so focus reminds you of your own daughter. She has the same face when she’s deeply concentrate. It always startles you how much she takes after him. 

Once you arrive at your place, you both take a seat on the couch. Your love interest looks at you with evident joy, you don’t doubt at all that he’s glad to be here with you. Honestly, you’re happy as well. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about yesterday’s conversation,” you decide to not waste any second and jump directly into the much needed conversation. Jimin nods. “I guess you could understand by all that has been going on that I want you too.” 

Jimin’s heart starts beating crazily in his chest. He’s more than aware of it, but it still makes him feel something to hear those words coming out of your mouth. 

“I also never stopped loving you, and honestly, I only realized it when this whole Sunday’s movies happened.” 

During your relationship with Seokhoon, you thought you had gotten over Jimin. It wasn’t easy sometimes to see him when you’d pick up Moon, but you were convinced you had moved on. Honestly, it was just a mirage. You never stopped loving him, and flirting with him is what made you realized it. 

“I guess I will never stop,” you add. “I would also like to give us a second chance, but I’m so scared of everything.” 

Jimin gets closer to you. 

“I’m afraid to be losing you all over again, I’m afraid to unintentionally hurt you, and Moon, I’m afraid that this time around it won’t work, and I’m afraid of too many things,” you admit. “This time around, I feel like our decision will have a bigger impact on everything.” 

Jimin is beyond grateful that you openly speak about your concerns. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable in front of someone we love. 

“For sure, it will,” he tells you. “So much has happened since we started dating thirteen years ago, but we still want to be together.” Jimin makes a small break, his eyes roaming your face. “It won’t be easy, but we can at least try. We can still give each other another chance while still being careful.” 

You bite your lower lip as you think about the situation. There is no doubt you’ll keep flirting as you still deeply crave each other. There will be more sex since you can’t resist each other. No matter what you decide, it won’t change the reality. At least, if you give your relationship another shot, on top of all this physical attraction, there will be romance. 

“However, I’m not really sure how we could hide this from Moon, but we’ll have to be careful,” he says. 

“Me neither,” you say. “She was so happy this morning to see us.” 

You can still picture her radiant smile and the joy on her face when she spotted you at her dadda’s place. Naturally, you wish to constantly see her this happy but for now, it’s best she can’t imagine you being together again.

“Yeah, she really was,” Jimin smiles with evident joy. 

Right now, being with Jimin is the only thing you desire with your entire soul, but as you said before, you’re simply afraid of too many things. However, for the entirety of the day, you’ve only been thinking about the fact that if you don’t try, you’ll deeply regret it. You can’t predict the future and there is a possibility where this doesn’t end well, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. 

Maybe you’ll be extremely happy and fulfilled. 

“I love being around you,” you say. “I really love our Sunday’s movie sessions, and I would like to turn it into an everyday thing.” Your heart is beating crazingly in your chest. “I’m very afraid, but I want to try because I love you.” 

Jimin’s heart is ready to burst any minute. 

“I just want us to protect Moon as we’ve been doing so far and to only let her know once we believe it’s the right time.” 

Moon’s father wraps you around his arms as he’s noticeably happy. Even though he expected this conversation to be about a possible relationship, he never thought that you’d actually say that you wanted to try. He believed that you’d needed some more time before noticing the obvious. 

However, he’s extremely happy to hear those words. 

This hug catches you by surprise but it’s a very welcomed one. Jimin’s embraces are your favorite place on earth. Even when you were going through a break up, he hugged you a couple of times and it felt great. For a minute, it felt like everything was still going well. 

“I’ll promise I’ll do everything to never hurt you,” he whispers in your ear. 

Your eyes flutter shut to savour this wonderful moment. 

“Me too,” you whisper as well. 

Those promises are the only ones you can make. All the rest will obviously depend on external factors, but hopefully, it won’t cause any harm to your relationship. 

Less than a year ago, none of you imagined this moment would happen. Back then, you were in happy relationships so this would be the last thing you’d think of. But you’re definitely in very different places today. 

When you put an end to the hug, you fervently and desperately kiss each other. You kiss as if there’s no tomorrow. His tongue meets yours in your mouth, your teeth bite his lower lips, and soft moans escape both your moans as your eagerly kiss each other. It’s a kiss filled with passion.  

“We didn’t finish what we started here yesterday,” he says against your lips and out of breathe. “Would you mind if we finish it?” 

Your eyes look up at him. One of his hands place a strand of hair behind your ear.  

“Well, it depends what you have in mind…” You tease him before biting your lower lip. 

A smirk grows on his face before he gets even closer to you. 

“I was planning to have sex with you.” He whispers in your ear, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. 

Instead of replying, you just press your lips again against his to kiss him. There’s no hesitation when he kisses you back, enjoying every second of being able to kiss you again. 

“Maybe we should move to my bedroom,” you say. 

Jimin simply stands up before holding your hand and rapidly walking to your bedroom. By the way he’s walking fast, you can tell how needy he’s right now.     

“Take your clothes off, honey,” he says once you've reached your bedroom. “I need you, now.” 

You simply nod before stripping for him. The urge can be felt as you quickly take off your clothes while he does the exact same thing. Jimin doesn’t want to wait anymore, he wants to have you in every possible way. After all, it feels like he has been waiting three years for this moment. 

You also take off your underwear, offering him the opportunity to see your body completely naked for the first time in three years. Jimin takes the time to roam your body once he’s also naked. He still remembers how your body was before you split. Although most of your pregnant belly had disappeared, it wasn’t how it was before you got pregnant.

But today, as he looks at you, it almost feels like you’ve never been pregnant. There are no visible indications of pregnancy, but your body has clearly changed. He can’t really express it into words but you’re different, and he loves it. He loves every single part of you. 

On the other hand, Jimin’s body is being hungrily scanned by your lust-filled eyes. He has also changed, he’s not the same anymore. His body is definitely more toned than before. For sure, he’s a damn dilf. 

As you both look at each other, it feels like you’re discovering the other for the first time. Almost as if you’re about to have sex for the first time. Well, your first time together was a little bit awkward but you made it through together.    

“Lay in bed, baby,” he instructs you once you’ve both finished glancing at each other. 

The urge he’s feeling is something that you sense, and you can understand it. If Moon hadn’t woken up, you would have had sex right after that mind-blowing thigh riding. You don’t even question his commands, laying on his bed. His body hovers over you, his eyes getting lost in yours. 

It’s been a long time that you both haven’t found each other in this exact position.  

“I missed you,” he admits with a deep voice, his thumb caressing your cheek. 

At the feeling of his soft finger on your face, you close your eyes. The love you share with Jimin has always been so sweet. A sweet love.

“I missed you too, Jimin,” you answer before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Without any warning, his other hand moves down to your core, his fingers brushing over your folds, snatching a moan out of you. His thumb rubs your clit, making you moan even more. He’s doing this to prepare you for his cock, knowing perfectly that he can’t just slip it into you, it’ll hurt you too much. 

Once he feels you’re wet enough, he stops torturing your clit with his fingers. He places himself in between your legs, spreading them a bit more while he pumps his cock with one hand, getting ready for you. His face leans closer to yours, his lips finding yours for a passionate kiss as he buries his thick cock inside your soaked core, stretching your velvety walls. 

For the past three years, you’ve had sex with other men. It was good, and with others, it was like going to heaven. But having Jimin’s cock pushing inside you is like going back home. Jimin is your first love, he was the first man with whom you had sexual activities. Then, for ten years, he was the only man you ever had sex with. So, in a way, your body considered him as your home. 

Having sex today with him is like you’ve found your way back home.   

His cute little hands find their way to your waist, caressing your soft skin. Both of you softly groan as he slowly pushes his thick cock inside you, but his lips swallow every sound. Your eyes roll back, loving the feeling of his length stretching you open.   

Jimin takes a little step back to take a look at the wonderful woman beneath him. As he does so, he gives you the time to adjust to his thick size. 

“Did I already tell you how pretty you are?” he asks before he leans closer, pushing his cock a bit deeper inside you. You shake your head because you want to hear him say it. “You’re so damn pretty, yn!” 

His lips kiss yours once more, but honestly, all this making out feels amazing. It brings peace to your soul. A much needed peace.  

“I’m going to fuck you nice and slow,” his deep voice whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. 

When he takes that deep voice, you just want to come because damn, it’s so sexy.

“Go for it, Jimin,” it almost sounds like you’re begging him.

Honestly, all you want is to be fucked rough and good as he used to do it before. You want to see if this older version of Jimin can still keep up with how he used to fuck you four years ago. He pulls back a bit to look at you in the eyes, a smirk rising on his face. 

“After this, you won’t be able to walk.” 

You desire nothing more than this. To be completely sore.

Jimin slowly pushes back, leaving only the tip of his cock inside you. His eyes never leave your figure, watching you holding back every moan that threatens to leave your mouth. 

“It’s so good to feel you again around me.” 

Brutally, he pushes his cock fully inside you, and this time around, you can’t hold back a moan. A smirk appears on his face as he realizes that this time around, he managed to cause a little moan to leave your pretty lips. 

For a little while, he doesn't move. He’s only hovering over you and watching you with delight. His eyes glance down on your body. Watching your pussy sucking his cock is something that he used to love to do.  

Jimin groans as he watches himself buried deep inside you. “Your cunt takes me so well, honey.” 

You close your eyes, completely enjoying having him fully inside you. Once he sees that you’re ready to take more, he pulls back brutally before slamming himself back into you. The bed under you squeaks, the headboard hitting the wall just behind you. 

Your first love once again stops when he’s fully inside you, torturing you just to hear you begging him to fuck you. This is also something he deeply missed, so he’s for sure going to make you beg all night long. 

“Jimin, move,” you start saying. “Please,” you beg.  

As he loves to hear you begging for more, he just gives you what you want, pushing his cock back before slamming into you with both hands on your hips. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock quickly fills the room. 

“Shit,” he gasps, thrusting into you with no mercy, “you feel so good.”

You’re completely drunk in the feeling of his cock filling you up, his hips hitting against yours with every thrust. This all causes sparks of pleasure to shoot throughout your body, your arousal dripping from your core and creaming his cock. Jimin smirks as he notices the sticky mess you’re causing.

Everything about the moment that is happening right now is something you both missed so dearly. These past few days of flirting with each other caused your feelings and the physical attraction to grow a lot. It wouldn’t surprise any of you if you keep doing this all night long.   

His cock is buried deep inside you, causing you to grip the sheets as hard as possible to steady yourself from Jimin’s hard thrusts.

“You’re so fucking wet, honey,” he hisses before biting his lower lip. 

His hands press harder into your skin when he feels your walls tighten around him. Every time he pushes his hips back, he watches with delight the way his cock is completely covered with your arousal. Nothing drives him crazier than seeing this, you can see it in his eyes. 

Jimin bends down, pressing a sloppy kiss on your lips while his thrusts slow down. A desperate whine gushes from you, a sound that he swallows directly. His hands move up on your body, grabbing your breasts and squeezing them before his fingers start playing with your nipples. 

“It feels wonderful,” you whisper as you’re completely lost in your euphoria.

Slowly, Jimin begins to thrust hard into you again, your walls sucking in his cock as he slams his hips into you with more force. His fingers keep playing with your very sensitive nipples, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. His eyes look at you, contorting with pleasure as it slowly builds within you.

His hands can feel the way your body quivers with each thrust. The way he’s torturing your body is only making you lose yourself further. 

Small groans leave his lips when he feels the warmth of your walls wrapping tighter around him. “Your cunt is clenching so hard, honey.” 

The sweat is dampening his body, sticking his black long hair to his face. With your hands, you push some strands of hair to be able to have a proper look at his handsome face. Jimin looks like a god right now.  

“You’re so pretty,” you whisper as you move your hips to meet his thrust. 

The man over you smiles at your compliment. It always feels heartwarming to hear you compliment him. 

“Thanks, honey,” he presses another sloppy kiss on your lips while you keep creaming his cock with your arousal. 

As he keeps thrusting into you, he senses how close you are. He knows that the vision of you coming will make him come as well. But before that happens, he needs to know where you want him to come. 

“Where do you want me to come?” he asks, panting hard. 

“On my belly,” you say as you touch your lower stomach. 

For the moment, it’s better to not have him coming inside you. There’s absolutely no way you’ll get pregnant right now. You’re already scared of what is going on right now, and it’s better to avoid adding a second child to the mix. It’s preferable to enjoy your reunion. 

His fingers pinch your nipples harder, making the wave of pleasure grow bigger inside you. 

“I’m gonna come,” you exclaim with despair. 

Jimin’s cock twitches inside of you at your words, a low groan rumbling in his throat. One of his hands slowly snails down on your body, passing your stomach, and landing on your throbbing clit. His fingers start to rub your sensitive spot. 

The simple feeling of his cold fingers against your clit is what you need to be completely hit by your orgasm, making you come hard around him. Your arousal completely covers his cock while your walls are squeezing him on repeat. 

While you’re completely lost in your euphoria, he speeds up the pace of his hips slamming into you to chase his own high.  

The coil in his lower stomach tightens inside of him, and it completely clouds his thoughts. The only thing he sees is the image of you coming under him. Breathy whines escape his pretty lips as he looks down at the mess you made on his cock. His eyes are completely hypnotized by your body.

With despair, he pushes his cock out of you with his left hand. Instantly, hot spurts of cum are being projected over your stomach. Breathy moans escaping both your lips, a smile appearing on your face as you feel his sperm touching your skin.   

Jimin collapses next to you, both of your bodies covered in sweat after this intense sex session. Your heavy breathing is now the only thing that can be heard in his bedroom, but you quickly stand up to grab a towel to clean yourself before his cum gets dry on your stomach. 

Once cleaned, you hand him the towel so he can clean himself. “Well, this was something,” he says with a bright smile on his face while rubbing his cock with the towel. 

“It definitely was,” you answer as you grab your bra and panties to put them back on. “Although you’re older, you’re still very good at it.” 

“For the past three years, I’ve been taking care of other gardens,” you frown, not understanding what this guy is saying. 

“You’re comparing a pussy with a garden?” you ask with obvious confusion and disbelief. 

Jimin starts laughing at your reaction. He has an inside joke with his friends about gardening. Instead of saying that they are having sex, they’ll say that they are going to do some gardening. It all started when they were drunk and started comparing sex with gardening. 

They said that it’s the exact same thing. For gardening, you take care of a garden, and for fucking, you take care of a pretty pussy. It’s weird, but it’s better to not raise any questions. 

“Eeeh, you have a pretty little garden, honey,” he says while coming next to you to hold you in his arms. 

“You’re weird,” you say before pressing a gentle kiss on his plump lips. 

“And you love my weirdness,” you nod. 

Jimin is your weirdo. 

“Since Moon is with your parents, we could perhaps spend the night together and maybe go to a restaurant?” he suggests. 

You nod once more before resting your head on his chest. It feels wonderful to be around him again. It makes you feel at home, and it’s such a powerful feeling. Even though you’re absolutely scared of what the future might hold, you feel a sense of completeness right now. It almost feels like everything is falling into place now. 

You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with your first love.    

[f1fantasys]

Balenciaga, Nike,and 1 with lando please and thanks youuu♥︎♥︎

BIRTHDAY BOYYYYY FIC

NB - This has nothing to do with Lando's birthday, it's just the name.

Here we go! First fic from the prompt list! Sorry for the delay! This turned out a little longer than expected, and i think i may have gone off track towards the end buuuut hope you all enjoy!

Balenciaga - swallowing his cum Nike - caught by his parents #1 - rough and filthy

3.7K words

During the summer break, at least a week was always spent with Lando's parents on their yacht - it had been a given for the last 3 years you'd been dating. And you absolutely loved it; you loved them like your own so it was always something you looked forward to.

Lando has ended the European leg of the races on a high, so everyones mood was ecstatic to say the least.

His? haha

He was ecstatic, sure, but he was also fucking horny for you every second of every day you'd been on the yacht.

On day 1, Lando had woken you up with his face between your legs, pulling and sucking at your clit as his fingers slid through your slick folds before he frantically thrust them in and out of you, making you cum twice within a matter of seconds. The night ended with him banging you hard against your cabin door, hand snaked round your throat as he pounded into you relentlessly.

You'd both been at it every day since, and to say you were sore would be an understatement, but all he had to do was give you a single look, or touch, and your body was putty in his hands, begging him for more until you were both shaking in each others arms.

Today was day 4, a lazy day for everyone just lounging around and working on a good tan.

By the time dinner was finished, everyone was exhausted from being out in the sun all day, and had retreated to their rooms.

Lando and you decided to just chill out on the decks, open another bottle of wine and spend some time together.

It started off innocently, it really did, until Lando stripped down into nothing but his boxers, saying something about needling to cool down in the pool.

Your eyes shamelessly eyed his body up and down as he took the few steps to get into the water, involuntarily squeezing your thighs together as he let his arms rest on the side, showing off his taunt arm muscles and flexing his back ones.

His own eyes stayed trained on yours, knowing very well he was leading you on and would get what he wanted sooner rather than later.

But you kept your ground, trying to focus on talking about something or the other, trying to keep yourself distracted.

He could see you fidgeting, your legs bouncing up and down. Hell, he was fucking hard as rock by just watching you do practically nothing.

''Come here, y/n'' he said, a warning edge to his tone.

You gave him a look, not saying anything, until he got out of the water, shred his boxers on the walk to you, and pulled you up, before walking hand and hand back to the water.

All you could keep your eyes on was his thick girth, lose and springing up and down, hard.

''Lan-'' you started, though he cut you off by placing a finger on your lips.

The cool water was a relief to your core, but Lando quickly manhandled you to sit up on the edge, taking his place between your legs.

You wrapped your legs around his torso as he untied your bikini strings, letting the top fall off to show off your perky boobs and pink nipples that had stiffened due to the the old as well.

Lando licked his lips as he reached forward and latched his mouth onto your left nipple. Gently suckling on it and circling his tongue around it as his hand harshly tugged and pinched on your right nipple.

Your hands found his hair and pulled on his curls, breathless moans leaving your mouth as you bit down on your bottom lip, though the quietness went out the window when Lando's one hand pushed your bikini bottoms to the side and immediately plunged two fingers through your core.

''Lando, fuck!'' you hissed, jumping at his actions as you thought he was taking his sweet time with you.

He was not.

Lando kept his eyes trained on yours as he let your nipples go and spread your legs further, giving himself enough room to fit his head between you, before he devoured your cunt with his tongue, while thrusting his fingers roughly.

A series of swear words left your mouth as you leaned back and tried to give him better access, and within minutes your body was trembling, shaking violently as you came all over his mouth.

Lando made sure to swallow everything up before he helped you sit up again, pulling you down for a heated kiss that quickly had him sliding his tongue into your mouth as you moaned into him.

''Lan'' you panted, ''need-'' ''need to taste you'' you said, between kisses, sounding more desperate than you have in the past few days.

''Yeah?'' he asked, mischievous glint in his eyes when he pulled back.

''Uh huh'' you said, sliding yourself back into the water and instructing him to now sit at the edge.

He complied without fuss, because he was just as desperate to feel your lips around him.

You pumped his dick a few times, concentrating on stroking the thick vein at the side which had Lando squirming above you.

You teased him now as you pulled back completely and squeezed your one boob in your hand while the other continued to pump him, licking your lips as you saw a bead of pre cum already leaking through his slit at the top.

''Y/n, please'' he begged, and just because you were in the mood and wanted to hear him beg some more, you pulled your boobs right up to your mouth and circled your tongue around your nipple.

Lando's eyes darkened as he gawked at your actions, his dick twitching in your hands as he watched you, mouth open and in awe at the sight of you.

''Fucking hell, baby, please'' he said, already gathering your hair out of your face into a makeshift ponytail.

How could you say no to him when he asked you like that?

So you finally gave Lando what he wanted - you deep throated him straight away, gagging when hie tip brushed against the back of your throat as you bobbed your head up and down his long shaft.

You played with his balls and pumped the part of him that you couldn't fit into your mouth, tears already stinging the corners of your eyes as Lando's hold on your hair tightened, when finally he just cupped your face and held it still, fucking his dick in and out of your mouth.

''That's it, yeah, takes me to well baby, fuck'' he mumbled between breaths as you could tell he was already close with the way his cock was pulsating.

You pulled back for a second, ''cum for me Lan, let me taste you, yeah?'' you cooed before resuming your activities, and with one harsh suck later, Lando was emptying his load down the back of your throat as he let out harsh grunts and moans.

His taste was salty and warm, just the way you loved. ''So delicious Lan'' you smiled up at him, cheeks flushed and eagerly ready for more.

''Come here'' he said quickly, getting you up and pulling you out the water. Lando scooped your naked body (and his) up and rushed over to the bar.

You hissed when he placed you down on the cool counter top, body still shivering from being in the cold water.

''Gonna warm you up yeah?''

''Fuck Lando, please, need to feel you'' you said impatiently.

Lando spread your legs with his knee as his hand gave his already hard cock a few strokes, sliding his tip through your folds to gather some slick.

Eventually, he settled at your hole, pushing in with one hard thrust.

You held your breath, fingers digging into his biceps at the intrusion, while his mouth found yours and gave you a sloppy kiss.

Then he started moving, pulling out of you completely before pushing all the way in, setting a quick pace as if you were short of time, but really you just couldn't get enough of each other.

''So tight, as if i haven't fucked you enough these days'' he said, smirking at you. He knew you'd have an answer to that, so he quickly brought his hand up to your throat, giving you a few gentle squeezes as he continued to fuck in and out of you.

''Gonna come Lan'' you cooed as you felt your orgasm approaching hard and fast, and withing seconds your body was shuddering in Lando's arms, body feeling like jelly so he had to hold you up now.

''Fucking love you'' he mumbled, more to himself when he looked down to the place you were joined, your thick cum coating his cock was enough to edge him closer to his own orgasm.

You leaned forward and gave his nipples a few kitten licks, sweat dripping down his whole body. He hissed when you bit down on his left one, sending you a warning. Only your name though. ''Y/n''

Just as Lando picked up the pace even more, now chasing his high, you heard a door open, though your minds were too fucked out to even respond.

Until you heard a gasp, and Lando's mum's voice.

''Oh''

You both froze, your movements coming to a halt as you looked each other with wide eyes, Lando's dick stopping halfway on its way into your cunt. His arms snaked their way around your body to rest against your ass in an attempt to cover it.

He looked over his shoulder to see Cisca standing there with her own pair of wide eyes, mouth agape. You took this opportunity to bury your head in his chest, trying to control your breathing as his as well was going at 1000 miles per hour.

All of you too embarrassed to respond, but your mind was screaming at Cisca to walk way without saying another word.

That thought was short lived though, as suddenly the door opened and closed again and now it was Adam's voice that filled your ears.

''Cis, what are you-'' he cut himself off at the scene in front of him.

''Oh'' was all he said after.

It was all probably about 30 seconds, though it felt like 5 hours, and you gave Lando warning eyes, begging him to say something to get his parents out of here and back inside. Your body was starting to squirm at the feeling of Lando's dick softening inside of you, the moment fleeting away with each second.

Finally, he coughed, and at the same time Adam cleared his throat.

''We''ll leave you to it'' he mumbled quickly before pulling Cisca back inside behind him.

As soon as the door shut you both let out a series of swear words, your bodies finally relaxing even though you didn't know how you'd ever face his parents again.

Lando looked down and gently peeled himself out of you. He cupped your face in his hands. ''Sorry'' he said, looking shy and embarrassed at what had just happened.

'''Don't be. Serves us right for trying to fuck in a place where anyone from the family could have walked in'' you said, leaning forward to peck his nose scar.

He smiled. ''Make it up to you later?'' he asked.

''You better!'' you squealed as he helped you off the counter and threw you a towel to cover up.

Time jump

For the last few days of summer break, you and Lando had opted to spend them quietly at home before the roar of the season began again.

It was a lazy day today, Lando was streaming with Max while you were preparing dinner.

As you were waiting for the oven to be done, your mind drifted the last few weeks. It was easily the best summer break anyone could dream of - sun, sea, sand and sex, lots of sex.

You could feel yourself blushing just thinking of all the nasty you did during the holiday, and suddenly, as if you hadn't had enough, you felt your core dripping with want.

Without thinking, you switched off the oven and made a beeline for the room Lando was in, stripping and leaving a trail of clothes all the way from the kitchen.

You knew his set up, so you knew all the ways to avoid the camera, though when you opened the door and Lando looked up from his screen he had to do a literal double take, his eyes wide and mouth agape, licking his lips as you made your way into the room.

Max's voice through his headphones reminded Lando where he was and what he was doing again as he tried to get back into the stream though he was failing miserably.

''Bro what the fuck what's wrong with you?'' you heard Max ask as you crawled under the desk and sat on your knees, watching Lando through hooded eyes.

He still had his own eyes on you, one hand already snaked down into his shorts at the sight of your naked body leaning down in front of him.

''Lando!'' Max yelled.

''I, fuck'' he jolted in his seat. ''Nothing, just..nothing'' he said, trying to ignore you and get back to talking to the chat.

You giggled to yourself and gently leaned up to palm his thick girth through his shorts before pulling at the them to tell him to remove them.

He kept his eyes in the screen, not even listening to what Max was saying as he subtlety lifted himself just enough to let you slide his shorts and boxers down, springing his achingly hard dick free.

You breath couldn't help but hitch at the sight of it standing tall, red and angry, with precum already sliding down the sides.

Quickly, you pumped him a few times, your thumb swiping his tip to spread the precum. You watched how Lando held his breath, before sighing and mumbled a fuck it, before he turned his camera off, though left the mic on.

Finally he was free to look down at you, biting his lower lip and mouthing a ''dirty'' down to you as you leaned forward and have his slit a few kitten licks before letting your tongue run over the thick vein at the side.

Lando's hands found your head and roughly pulled your forward, giving you no option but to take his load into your mouth, hard and deep.

His hold on your head tightened as you watched him lean back in his chair and let out a series of silent moans.

You pumped whatever you couldn't fit in your mouth as one hand fondled with his balls, pulling and tugging at them harshly when you started gagging around Lando, tears stinging the corners of your eyes.

You had spit running down your chin and dropping onto you thighs as you clenched them together, your core begging for some attention of its own.

Lando tried his best to concentrate on what ever was going on with his stream, but everytime your tongue circle his tip his mind short circuited and he had to ground himself to make sure he wouldn't moan into the mic.

You could feel his dick start to twitch uncontrollably in your mouth, knowing he was close, and within a few seconds with no warning, Lando let his cum splutter down your throat as he clenched his fists on his chair handles, biting his bottom lip agonizingly hard to keep quiet, letting out a few staggered breaths.

Your own mind forgot where you were for a second, and as soon as you got a taste of him, you moaned a little too loudly, halting your movements for a split second.

You looked up at Lando and saw him mouth ''swallow it'' to you, to which you gladly obliged because he was delicious.

Max of course, caught up to what was happening. He indirectly threw teases at Lando which luckily the chat hopefully wouldn't catch on to.

As you sucked Lando dry, you pulled back and took a few breaths.

You needed more.

Your cunt was begging you for something, anything.

You looked up at Lando again, cheeks flushed, and sent him a silent ''please'' You watched as his eyes turned shades darker.

Just one look at you like that on your knees, and he was putty in your hands.

He ended the stream with no goodbyes, no explanation, nothing.

He roughly pulled you out from under the table and carried you to the bedroom, throwing you on the bed.

''You asked for it baby'' he harshly said, hovering above you as you peeled his tshirt off.

Finally, he lowered down and attacked your lips with his own. Clashes of teeth and tongue, biting and nipping as you fought each other, spit messing your chins already.

You let your hands wander his toned body - following the outlines of his taunt muscles, eventually settling at his precious hair, pulling at it to edge him on.

Lando lowered his lips to your neck, finding your sweet spots which had you biting your own lips in anticipation of what was to come.

He hen went to your boobs, taking his sweet time tugging and suckling on your nipples, while his eyes stayed trained on yours.

Your cunt, for one, was getting impatient, clenching around air, begging for something.

''Please Lando'' you said, innocently as you could so he'd give in.

''Patience baby. Gonna ruin you tonight''

After spending a ridiculous amount of time on your boobs, Lando finally traveled further south, and thank god he didn't waste time in getting down and dirty.

He devoured your pussy that had been dripping, for him.

''So wet y/n. Wet for me, yeah?'' he asked.

You quickly nodded, wanting to boost his ego before you fucking exploded.

''All for you Lan'' you panted as he slid his tongue through your folds multiple times before starting to thrust into your hole as he held your legs apart strongly.

Your hands returned to his hair, pulling at it roughly as you very quickly felt the warmth start to build up in your stomach.

''M close'' you cooed, taking a boob into your hand and squeezing it a few times.

Lando had let his fingers find your clit, and this threw you over the edge, shaking and shuddering underneath him as you came all over his face, while you let obscene noises and moans leave your mouth, praising him for how good his fucking tongue is.

He licked up all your cum before reaching up and letting some drip straight from his mouth down into your yours - his own series of ''fucks'' leaving his mouth at the sight of you tasting yourself.

But as much as you loved when he ate you out, you loved his dick more.

So you reached down and took his thick girth into your hands, pumping it a few times before bringing it to your entrance and guiding it through you.

You gasped at the intrusion, eyes locked on Lando's as he bottomed out in you, before he started moving, thrusting out fully before slamming back into you roughly, fucking into you roughly.

''Fuck. So tight baby'' he mumbled as he leaned down to kiss you again.

''Lan please, harder. Fuck me harder, please'' you begged, needing more and more of him and your nails dug deep into the muscles of his back, surely leaving bruises.

''If i fuck you any harder I'm gonna break you'' he said breathlessly.

''Then break me'' you pressed, taking him by surprise.

He smirked, ''and this is why i fucking love you so much'' he whispered before picking up his pace even more, literally ramming his body into yours.

You shut you eyes and before you knew it your orgasm had taken over your body, cum exploding out of you as you swear you could see stars, all the while Lando's pace didn't slow one bit.

Suddenly though, he pulled out of you.

You looked down at him, confused, irritated that he'd stopped. But you mind quickly phased out as he bought his mouth to your cunt and collected as much of your cum as he could on his tongue, leaning up to engulf you in a dirty, filthy kiss. Both your cheeks and chins' were sticky and slimy but you couldn't care one bit because that was hot.

Lando manhandled your body to flip you over onto all fours, before he thrust himself through your cunt and resumed a rapid pace again, while his one hand found your throat and the other pinched your nipples.

''Lan, fuck, close. Gonna cum'' you mumbled as you felt him him you G-spot over and over and over and then your mind blanked.

You couldn't think straight. All you knew was there was liquid flying out of you left right and center, you could feel Lando's tongue, and all you ears could hear was Lando praising you for ''being the sexiest thing to grace this earth, how he's gonna make you squirt every day for the rest of your lives because fuck, there was nothing hotter than that''

Wait. What? Did he just say squirt?

Then your brain caught up, and your eyes flew open.

Lando was still ramming into you, so you looked back at him with the biggest look of embarrassment because wdym you squirted?

His whole face was wet with slick and sweat. He looked hot.

You tried to talk, but you couldn't, your body and mind a mixture of a lot of things. And with the way Lando was chasing his high now, you figured you'd let him finish before attempting to comprehend what was happening.

''I'm gonna cum y/n'' he warned. ''One day fuck a baby into this pretty cunt of your's'''he whispered, more to himself.

You clenched your walls around his throbbing dick, yet another orgasm coming over you, and within seconds he was spasmming and letting his load go deep within you, his own pornographic moans and grunts leaving his mouth.

Finally, you both fell forward, you on the bed and he on top of you, breathless and sticky, trying to calm your shaking bodies.

You could feel Lando softening inside you, and you both hissed when he slid out, your cunt extremely sensitive.

He gave you a sheepish smile before pulling you to lay on top of him.

''Please interrupt my stream more often if this is what I'll get. Squirming? Fucking sexiest shit you've ever done baby''

[bapeach]

Valentine's Day

Anyone else suck at writing summaries for their stories? Anyways, happy belated Valentine's! I hadn't planned on writing a Valentine's related story, but here we are. Hope you all enjoy! Constructive criticism is always welcome :D Find my masterlist here :)

Pairing(s): Paige Bueckers x female!reader  Word count: 4.8k+ Warnings: a bit clinché, swearing, long-distance Summary: Valentine's Day isn't so bad when you get to call with your long-distance best friend, except things don't really go the way you planned. You're not mad about it, though. ------------

Valentine's Day. A day loved by many and hated by even more. 

You belonged in the latter category. Why did couples need an extra day to celebrate their relationship? Why would you require an extra day to be nice to your partner when you should do that any other day as well? The only thing this holiday does is make single people feel bad. You’re not bitter about it or anything, it’s just a fact, okay fine, you’re a little salty.

Today is another Valentine that you’re spending single, but this time at least you have plans! While most of your friends were going to be off on dates, you were going to be calling your long-distance best friend and making fun of the whole holiday. To say you were excited to talk to the girl was an understatement.

Being a student-athlete wasn’t easy, Paige had complained about her busy schedule enough for you to know. Not that she had to, you could tell how exhausted she was whenever she found a bit of time to call you between school, homework, and basketball. It saddened you to know the blonde was wearing herself out completely to be the perfect student while also making sure she’s the best basketball player she can be. She barely ever has time to relax, and you’re scared she’s going to give herself a burn-out.

You were glad Paige found time today to hang out with you. You’ve missed her more than you thought you could ever miss anyone, not having heard her voice in weeks and only having gotten short messages to let you know she’s still alive. 

“Everyone is gonna be out and about on friday after practice so I’ll have the dorm to myself, FaceTime at 10:30?” Her message had read last Sunday, and you’d immediately agreed. While you knew the Valentine’s Day hangout was just a friendly hangout between best friends, you liked pretending it would be a date. 

When you met Paige, you never thought you’d ever fall for her so deeply, let alone be such good friends with her. But here you were, 6 years later, with the biggest crush on her.

When your mom sent you to a random month-long summer camp when you were 16, you’d protested with your whole being. You’d much rather stay home, bundled up on the couch all summer, re-reading your favorite book series, not going to a random camp out in the wild. “You’ll learn so much stuff! And you’ll make friends for life!” She’d said, making you roll your eyes. You didn’t believe a word she’d said, knowing that even if you managed to make friends, you’d only talk to them for that summer and maybe a month after.

You didn’t meet Paige until a week into camp. Her cabin was nowhere near yours, and so you weren’t in the same activity groups as her. One of your roommates had met her one night when she couldn’t sleep and went on a walk. She said you two would get along well, but the more she talked about the blonde, the less likely it seemed to you.

While you were shy, loved staying in, let people walk all over you, and were a bit of a teacher’s pet, 16-year-old Paige was the complete opposite. She was outgoing and friendly, and she loved teasing people even when she didn’t know them. She preferred the outdoors, getting restless when she had to stay in and couldn’t play her sports. She loved breaking the rules and always seemed to get away with it too, her charisma being able to charm all the camp leaders.

When your cabinmate had called her over during dinner, you were incredibly intimidated by the taller girl. She towered over you with a big grin, her blue eyes wide and full of mischief. She was loud and immediately set her eyes on you when she noticed your quietness. When your friends had joked about how shy you were, she’d only grinned wider, saying she was going to get you to come out of your shell.

She managed to win you over a lot faster than you dared to admit. After that dinner, she was always able to spot you in the crowd, coming over to tease you or introduce you to more people. Within a week, you two were glued at the hip. She managed to do what she said she would, making you a little less afraid to speak your mind, while you were able to bring a calm to her that no one knew existed.

You swore saying goodbye to her at the end of camp was one of the hardest things you’d ever had to do. You were quite dramatic at times. Sadly, you’d been right about the not staying friends thing. You two sent each other two letters once camp was over and called five times before life got too busy with school, extracurriculars, and new friends. After that, you didn’t talk for two years.

The next time you saw her again, you thought you were dreaming. You were touring different universities and had just finished the UConn one. Paige had managed to get even taller, her muscles were more defined, and she’d finally found her style. You thought you were mistaken at first, but then her bright eyes found yours, and a wide smile made its way onto her face. She excused herself from the conversation she was in and jogged over to you, not letting you say more than a hi before pulling you into a hug. You let yourself fall into the comfortable, familiar feeling, sinking into her as you hug her back.

This time, when you two parted and said you’d stay in touch, you actually did. Sadly, you didn’t end up going to UConn, instead choosing a university over two hours away from the blonde. Keeping in contact was easier now that you were older and more mature. You called each other multiple times a month, texting almost daily, and even met up IRL whenever you could. You’d attended quite a few of her games, and she even surprised you on your birthday last year.

That birthday is your favorite one so far. Paige had surprised you with flowers and a book you’d been wanting for ages. She spoiled you like crazy that day, even staying the night at your dorm before having to go back to UConn. The day after was the day you realized you were head over heels for her. You became aware of the fact that the butterflies you felt in your stomach weren’t just from being excited at seeing your best friend, they were actually because you had a crush on her.

You never told her about your feelings, however. You figured she only saw you as a friend and knew that there were hundreds of girls throwing themselves at her feet, so why would she choose someone who didn’t even live in the same state as her? 

You shake yourself out of your thoughts as you readjust yourself on your bed. Seeing it’s already 10:28, you open your camera to make sure you look okay. Patting down the flyaway hairs, you smile at your reflection. Closing the app, you grab your water bottle to take a sip and calm your growing nerves.

Knowing you’ll be even more nervous if you keep staring at the seconds tick by, you open TikTok and scroll on your FYP to pass the time. You quickly realize that wasn’t the best idea, seeing as there are only edits of Paige on your screen. Your face becomes a bright red as you watch the videos and save them all. You close the app after seeing an edit that makes you feel certain things, fanning your face as you try to get rid of your blush. 

When you look at the time again, you shake your head in amusement. 10:35. In the years that you’ve known the blonde, there haven’t been many instances in which the girl has been on time. Usually, it bothers you to no end when someone is late. It makes you feel as though they don’t respect you enough to be on time. With the blonde, it’s different, however. 

It’s cute to see her all flustered, apologizing again and again for her tardiness. It makes you laugh when she pouts at you, complaining about how her laptop had to do another update, how her alarm didn’t go off, or how Geno always has it out for her during the practices before a call. You grin when she leaves out the part where she was once again being a menace at practice, teasing her about it after Nika texts you to let you know Paige will be late and why.

You send her a quick text, asking if she managed to piss off Geno again, before checking to see if the Croatian had texted you anything. After another 5 minutes pass, you frown a little, slightly worried about the blonde. When your phone buzzes, you sit up straighter, fluffing up your hair a bit as you prepare to start the call. Grabbing your phone, you expect a “Sorry I’m late! You ready?” message, but you deflate instead.

“Hey, sorry I can’t call 2day, feeling exhausted, rain check?” It reads.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Paige has had to cancel on you. You understood that her busy schedule left her incredibly exhausted, and you knew she hated herself every time she had to cancel. Usually she pushed through, calling you anyway and falling asleep within 10 minutes of the call. She’d apologize profusely, a big frown on her face as her eyes turn a murky blue in sadness. You always told her you didn’t mind, you actually found it cute how her tired eyes would slowly blink at you before finally closing. 

The fact that she actually canceled this time meant she didn’t feel good at all, so you let her know it was okay and that you’d talk soon. Once you wish her sweet dreams as she goes to take a nap, you close your laptop with more force than necessary. 

While you typically wouldn’t mind all that much, you did this time. You missed her like crazy, you hadn’t had the easiest week, all your friends were out having fun, and to top it all off, you were about to have your period, making you even crankier than usual. You sit in silence for a moment as you try to blink away your tears. You press your palms to your eyes as you shake your head. Slapping your cheeks softly, you try to snap out of it. “Don’t be such a little baby,” you think to yourself.

You get up and stretch before pausing in the middle of the room. You look around a little lost, unsure of what to do now that your plans fell through. You bite your lip as you think about the tub of ice cream you left in your freezer for when you had a bad day. You pout as you realize you’ll spend yet another Valentine’s Day watching a cheesy movie that’ll make you cry into your ice cream.

Right as you’re about to open the freezer, you hear a knock at the door. You throw your head back, holding in a groan as you debate pretending no one is home. You knew it was most likely your roommate, who knew you were going to be home, having forgotten her keys again, so you make your way over to the door. 

You take a quick peek into the mirror to check if your eyes look red from your mini breakdown, silently cursing when they do. Rolling your eyes at yourself, you open the door, ready to tell your roommate to not mention it.

You freeze as your jaw drops open. Paige is standing in the hallway, holding a bouquet of red roses and a big teddy bear, a wide smile carved on her face. “Surprise,” she says, her voice soft as she takes you in. You cover your mouth with your hand as tears well up in your eyes again. “Damn these hormones,” you think, blinking to make them go away.

Seeing your watery eyes, the blonde’s smile softens as she mutters a “C’mere.” You fall into her open arms, squeezing her tightly as you nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck. Paige leans her head against yours, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple. She slowly shuffles you backward into your dorm, using her foot to close the door behind her.

Once you realize the way you’re gripping onto her, you let her go, heat creeping up your face. You feel a bit embarrassed, but the feeling gets taken over by the happiness of finally being near the blonde again. “What’re you doing here?” You breathe out as you look at her in childlike wonder. “Wanted to spend Valentine’s with my favorite girl,” she replies, shoving the flowers and bear towards you. The butterflies in your stomach flutter around as you take the gifts with a wide smile, your cheeks bright red at the nickname.

You quickly put the flowers in a vase with some water before setting the teddy bear down on the couch. When you turn back towards Paige, you see her already staring at you with a soft look in her eyes. You skip back over to her, flinging yourself back into her arms, making her chuckle. “Thank you,” you mutter against her shirt, fondness seeping through in your voice.

You pull back slightly with a loving smile, looking up at her but not leaving her arms. She moves one hand away from your back, bringing it towards your face as she rubs your cheek. “Anything for you,” she mumbles as she takes in your face like she’s trying to memorize every bit of it. You can feel your face heat up, but you can’t look away. Your heart beats faster as you admire her, waiting to see what’s on her mind as you see different emotions swim around in her eyes. 

Softly clearing her throat, she steps back nervously as she takes an envelope out of her pocket. She shifts her weight from foot to foot as she looks down at the envelope, her throat bobbing as she swallows harshly. “I, uh,” she starts, biting her lip before looking up at you with an anxious yet hopeful look. “This is for you,” she says, handing you the envelope. You raise an eyebrow at her as you ask, “What’s this?”

“Jus open it,” she says, fidgeting with her sleeve. You open the envelope tentatively, a little nervous at how anxious the usually confident girl is. Folding open the pink letter, you scan the page, smelling her perfume as if she sprayed it on the paper. You smile in adoration as you see the usual scribbly handwriting, this time a little less messy. Taking a quick glance at the girl, you see her rub her neck, nodding at you to read it. Your heart skips a beat as you read the words. 

It’s… It’s a love confession. 

You grip the paper a little tighter as you read about how Paige has had a crush on you for the past two years and how much you mean to her. Your eyes stay glued to the page until you reach the end. “Will you be my valentine?” The last sentence reads.

You look up at her in shock, excitement bubbling in your chest. The athlete is still looking at you, her eyes wide and hopeful. “Really?” You whisper, not wanting to break the intimate atmosphere. She nods her head as she bites her lip shyly. A broad smile spreads across your face as you nod enthusiastically. “Yes!” You say, your voice a bit higher as you’re unable to contain your joy.

“Yeah?” Paige grins, her confident, cheerful self showing again. She grabs you again, lifting you up as she twirls you around. You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips at the giddiness you’re feeling. “Okay, uhh, I’ve made dinner plans for tonight, but I was thinking we could just chill here for a bit and then go get lunch in that cute little café we went to last time I was here!” The blue-eyed girl beams.

You’re already nodding your head before she finishes her sentence, knowing you’d do anything with the girl. Seeing as you still have some time before you need to start getting ready, you drag the basketball player to your couch. You let her sit down first before settling down next to her and swinging your legs over her lap. You’d been in this position plenty of times before, but those times never felt as intimate as this time.

Your heart thrums in your chest as Paige immediately rests her hands on your legs, rubbing them softly as she relaxes into her seat. You hold your new teddy bear against your chest as you watch the blonde fondly. Catching you staring, she sends you a smirk, making you look down with a chuckle.

“So, how’d you manage to get coach to let you skip practice?” You ask, your head tilted in question. “Oh, that was easy, he loves me, so he said he’d let me skip for once,” she replies smoothly. You huff out a laugh as she says that, mischief clear in her eyes. “You’re such a liar,” you grin back. “Okay, okay, maybe that’s not exactly how it went,” she rolls her eyes playfully. You look at her triumphantly as she gives your leg a little squeeze, more amused than annoyed that you caught her. “He said I could skip, but that my next practice is gonna be extra hard.” 

You look at her in amusement but also slight worry. “You didn’t have to do this, you know? I would’ve been happy with just a phone call. I don’t want you to work yourself to the point of passing out,” you reply, your brows furrowed slightly in concern. She shakes her head, bringing one hand to your face to smooth out your frown. “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Besides, I think I would’ve gone insane if I didn’t see you soon,” she says, her voice more vulnerable than you’re used to.

Your lips curve back into a smile as she continues. “And stop worrying about me so much, I’m okay. If things get too much, I’ll let you know, I promise.” She sticks out her pinky finger, grinning at you as you interlace yours with hers.

You two keep talking until it’s time to get ready for lunch. Seeing as Paige is already dressed, you leave her on your couch as you walk up to your closet to pick a nice outfit before running to the bathroom to put yourself together. Once you’re satisfied, you return to the couch, blushing as you see the blonde check you out. You raise your eyebrow and send her a teasing grin, letting her know you caught her. She simply sends you a smirk back as she gets up.

There’s not a moment of silence on the way to the café as you two talk about the latest things in your lives. You talk about classes, basketball, family, friends, and the weird dreams you’ve had. The conversation continues to flow during lunch and into the afternoon as you walk around the city with Paige. A smile is permanently etched into your face as you stroll around with your hand in the blonde’s. While her hand is a bit rough from playing so much basketball, it’s still very soft. She rubs her thumb across your knuckles as she animatedly talks about the shenanigans she’s been up to with the team.

When you stop for ice cream, you order your favorite flavor before noticing Paige taking another flavor you love. It confuses you a little, knowing she doesn’t really like it, but you don’t really pay any mind to it as you continue rambling about what your professor did last class. When you sit down, you enjoy your ice cream as you listen to the girl in front of you. She takes small bites in between sentences, making her still have half of it left when you’re done with yours. As she talks, she starts feeding you some of her cup, making you smile at how cheesy you two are being. You don’t mind, though, this is exactly what you’d dreamed of.

When you notice the blonde isn’t eating her ice cream anymore, only feeding you, you go to protest. You don’t get the chance to, however, as the girl knew what you were up to. She quickly shoves another spoonful into your mouth when you open it to speak, rolling your eyes playfully. She grins as she shrugs a little.

Once you two are done, you walk back towards your dorm, silently thanking your roommate for having her own plans and not being home. Once inside, you guide the blonde to your bed, plopping down as you put on a random show for background sounds. You spend hours talking about everything and nothing, laughing harder than you have in months. 

“So, this dinner, where are we going?” You ask Paige as you crane your neck up from where you’re lying against her. She pretends to lock her mouth and throw away the key, making you roll your eyes. “You’re so unhelpful, y’know that?” She laughs, knowing it’s true. “Can you at least tell me what the vibe is? Do I need to dress fancy?” You question as you get up and walk over to your closet. You rifle through your options as the athlete speaks. “Semi-formal, I guess,” she shrugs, getting up herself. “Where are you going?” You ask as she starts walking towards the door. 

“Gonna grab my bag from my car, I’m not going to dinner in this outfit,” she replies, making you nod in understanding. Once she’s gone, you pause for a moment, pinching yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. When you know for sure you’re not, you let out an excited squeal before calming yourself down and getting ready. Once you’re dressed, you sit down in front of your mirror to apply some light make-up.

You hear Paige walk back in, having borrowed your keys, as you’re applying mascara. Once you’re done, you look at her through the mirror and send her a bashful smile. She doesn’t smile back, too enthralled by your beauty. You shake your head as you giggle, grabbing your lip gloss. You lean in a bit closer to the mirror, applying a thin layer of gloss to make your lips shine. You glance over at Paige, seeing her eye the applicator as you glide it across your lips. She swallows harshly when you make eye contact, looking away sheepishly as she walks over to get ready in the bathroom. 

You scroll through Instagram as you wait for the blonde, liking the Valentine’s Day posts from your friends. When you hear the bathroom door open, you glance up, your throat going dry. Paige always looked gorgeous, but right now, you think she’s never looked better. She smiles softly at you as you take her in. She doesn’t tease you about the way you’re basically drooling over her, knowing she’s just as enamored.

“You look beautiful,” she says, grabbing your hand and giving it a soft squeeze. “Says you,” you grin with rosy cheeks. Her eyes twinkle with happiness as she leads you to the door. “Oh, one sec!” You mutter, running back towards your dresser to grab something. You quickly put the tiny box in your bag before walking back over to Paige. “Alright, I’m ready,” you say, rocking back and forth in excitement.

You walk towards the taller girl’s car in comfortable silence, your hand in hers, fingers interlinked. You let her open the passenger door for you, chuckling at her as she gives you a bow. “M’lady,” she tries to say seriously, but she can’t stop the smile growing on her face. “You’re such a dork,” you reply as you get in, hoping she doesn’t notice the bright color of your cheeks.

Once you two are on the road, Paige takes one hand off of the steering wheel, putting her arm on the center console. You look at it for a moment before grabbing her hand and interlacing your fingers once more. You take a peek at the blonde to see her reaction and feel your stomach flutter when you see her sporting a tiny, content smile.

Once you get to the restaurant, you look around in awe. It was beautiful. You still can’t believe that all of this is real. That Paige Bueckers, your best friend, is taking you out on a date and treating you like a queen. Your cheeks hurt from how much you’ve been smiling all day. 

You two share a bottle of wine as you enjoy your food, letting one another taste each other’s dishes, grinning when you find the other’s food better. You giggle as you switch your plates around, not paying any mind to the looks you’re receiving. After finishing your meal, you order dessert, sharing the sweet treat, feeling pretty full from dinner. 

Once you’re done, Paige pulls out a wrapped box with a tiny ribbon bow. For a moment you’re confused where it came from, but you quickly dismiss your confusion. “Paige, you didn’t have to get me anything! You’ve already paid for everything today,” you whine, feeling bad about how much the girl is spending on you. “Oh hush,” she says, “I love spoiling my girl.” “Your girl, huh?” You tease with a grin. She rolls her eyes lightheartedly. “Open itttt,” she says impatiently.

You giggle as you open it, letting out a gasp as you see the bracelet inside. “Paige…” you breathe out, “this is beautiful.” “Yeah? You like it?” She asks, hoping you’re speaking the truth. You nod eagerly, flashing her a toothy smile as you brush your thumb over the P charm. “I was scared it would be too possessive, giving you something with my initial on it for our first date,” she admits, scratching her temple. “I love it, P,” you say, letting her help you put it on.

You grab your bag, pulling out your own gift box. “You didn’t,” Paige grins as you hand it to her. “I did,” you grin back. “How? You didn’t even know I was coming today,” she asks, giving you a curious look. “I got this a while back and was just waiting for the perfect moment to give it to you,” you say, your heart drumming in your ears as you nervously wait for her reaction. Her face lights up at the sight of the new chain you’d gotten her. She lifts it out of the box, letting it shine in the dim restaurant lights.

She taps the tiny basketball pendant as it swings on the chain. The blonde sends you a radiant smile, her eyes shining with love. “Thank you,” she says, adoration clear in her voice. You raise one finger, making her pause. You rummage in your bag, grabbing a tiny plastic bag, before handing it to her with a smirk. She holds it close, laughing as she realizes what it is. Opening the bag, she grabs the tiny charm, twirling it between her fingers. “I see we had the same idea,” she smiles, her cheeks becoming a soft pink at the thought of wearing your initial on her neck. 

You help her put it on before waving over the waiter for the bill. You begrudgingly let Paige pay, knowing you’d never win that fight against her. You hold her hand as you walk towards her car, squeezing it softly. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst with joy and adoration. Once you reach the car, you look at the taller girl as she pauses. 

Her eyes flit over your face as she softly grabs your hips. She steps closer, gently pushing you against the car. She leans in closer, her eyes looking into yours with a questioning look. Your heart skips a beat as you nod lightly. The blue-eyed girl leans even closer, her lips hovering over yours for a moment to give you an extra second to change your mind. When you don’t, she presses her lips against yours in a slow but deep kiss. You grab her face, trying to pull her even closer as you close your eyes. After a minute, you pull away slightly to catch your breath. You move your hands towards her neck as you play with her baby hairs. The smile she sends you makes you weak in the knees, making you silently thank God that you’re leaning against the car. 

“Be mine?” Paige breathes, her question sounding almost like a statement. You don’t need to think twice as you nod, pulling her into another kiss.

You know it won’t be easy, being in a relationship while you’re miles apart, but you know that it’s all worth it when you get to call this amazing girl yours.

[cinnamoonblue]

I forgot something

ONE SHOT - Portgas D Ace/Reader (female)

DESCRIPTION: OP Verse | Friends to lovers - fluff, slight angst

SUMMARY: It's your birthday and something or rather say - someone is missing.

WARNINGS: english is not my first language, explicit language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of Thatch's death, mentions of pet names (princess)

WORD COUNT: 3,8K

✰ MASTERLIST ✰

NOTE: this is a special one for my girl @neospade as today is her birthday and as she has turned into my internet bestie I had to make sure to properly wish her a nice birthday ♡ I hope you enjoy this short piece on your day and have an amazing upcoming year ♡ I know that you are a sucker for angst so there is a little bit, but overall I really, really hope you like this one as I tried to include all your favorite tropes and character in this one - so I hope that you will enjoy my little present for you ♡ ily ♡

The sunlight is creeping through the window which means it’s time for you to wake up. Today is quite a special day for you as it’s your birthday. Usually, you are very excited when it comes to it, but this year is a little bit different. It isn’t about the age you are turning to, it is more about the upcoming celebration. You know that every single person from the crew is excited about tonight’s celebration as, since you were a child, your birthday has been treated as a holiday on the Moby Dick, after all your father was none other than the Whitebeard himself.

Sitting up in your bed a sigh leaves your lips. You have been feeling very down lately since a certain someone has left the ship to pursue revenge. It has been two months since Thatch was killed by Blackbeard and Ace has gone on his journey to avenge his comrade’s death. Not only you have to celebrate your birthday without one of the closest people you had while growing up, but on top of it, you have to spend the day without the person your heart desires the most.

Portgas D Ace – the second division commander of the Whitebeard’s pirates, has stolen your heart the moment he had stepped his foot on your father’s ship. Even when he was trying to kill your father you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat every time you saw him. You never worried about his attempts towards your old man as you were sure that one day they would stop, and the hot-tempered boy would eventually cool off. While his attempts were still ongoing, you made sure to tend his wounds and clean his bloody nose every time, not only as an excuse to get closer to him, but also to get to understand why he was trying so hard to harm your father. Of course, he wasn’t very found of you in the beginning and refused your help, but slowly with time he started to cool off and open up more and more to the crew and you.

“Why…” His voice was low and groggy from his hundredth killing attempt towards your dad. You have come to leave him a bowl with warm stew in it, as you have noticed that most of the time out of pride he would refuse to eat with the rest of the crew or eat in general. “Why do you people call him ‘Pops’?” He was sitting on the deck with knees pulled towards his body and elbows resting on them, his head was hanging low as he had failed again, and he was getting tired of it.

You felt bad for him. It was obvious that the guy who was the same age as you had been faced with many demons inside his mind and it pained you, because if you put aside his want to fight your father so badly, he was clearly a good person.

“Because he calls them all ‘sons’ or ‘daughters’ and every one of them was hated in one way or another by the world.”  You offered him a gentle smile as he looked up to meet your eyes. “I guess, this brings people joy. It’s a simple word – but it does make them happy.”

“What about you?” The question he asked you took you by surprise which made you giggle. Didn’t he know?

“I have no choice but to call him that.” You said in between giggles as the boy in front of you had confusion written all over his face. “I am his biological daughter, Ace.”

His eyes widen when he heard the words leaving your lips. There was no way that something this beautiful and tender could be this man’s daughter.

You offered him another smile and walked closer to him, squatting down, you looked him in the eyes, this time with a serious look over your face. You knew that this must end once and for all, and the boy sitting in front of you was the one who should make up his mind.

“Ace.” You started and hoped that he would listen. “You got to make up your mind, because this can’t continue.” He looked away from you, avoiding your gaze as he didn’t want to admit that you were right. “You can’t kill him, no matter how much you try and even if you do, what do you gain by doing so?”

You didn’t get any answer to this question, but since that night Ace has changed. He has agreed to be part of the crew and not long after that your father has made him his second division commander.   

The more time has passed, the more you two have grown closer, which leads you to right now. You have no idea where he is, how he is or with who he is. Every day you check the newspaper with fear, but you try to tell yourself that no news should be good news. If he is in danger or something has happened to him, it would be known. You two have grown to be extremely close friends to a point where you would always get teased, especially by Marco and Thatch that you two are meant to be more than friends, but you have always ignored them. While Ace was quite oblivious to the fact that you have feelings for him, the rest of the crew isn’t. On top of that, your father has moved you to the second division, which was a surprise for you because since you could remember you were always under Marco’s command, but you chose not to question your father’s choices. Being in the second division only brought you even closer to Ace, and the more you got to know him, the harder you were falling for him, but again no matter what anyone was telling you, you couldn’t bring yourself to confess your feelings for him, afraid of being rejected and making things awkward between you two.

You get up from bed and get ready for the day. Taking a step out of your private cabin you make your way to the deck. Passing by every crew member on the ship you are being greeted with congratulations for your birthday. Getting on the deck you see your father’s big figure sitting on his usual spot with Marco by his side. The moment your father sees you a big smile is placed on his face as he opens his arms, inviting you for a hug.

“Happy Birthday to my dearest child.” His voice echoes around and everyone cheers. Pulling away from his embrace you smiled at him.

“Thank you, dad.” Before you know it another pair of arms wraps around you in a suffocating hug and lifts you a bit from the deck’s floor.

“Happy Birthday little rascal.” Marco’s voice rings in your ears. “Are you excited for tonight?”

“Sure, I am.” You half shrug with your shoulders and chuckle a bit.

“You don’t seem to be.” Izo, who appeared from behind Marco, points out. “Happy Birthday beautiful.” He says and gives you a hug as well. 

“Thank you Izo, and yes, I’m excited for tonight. Don’t worry.” You try to brush it off before the teasing starts but it is too late.

“Oh, I’m sure if certain someone was here you would be more excited-yoi.” Marco chuckles and nudges Izo with his elbow. All you do is roll your eyes and ignore him as you don’t have the energy for this right now.

“Any news from him?” You turn to your father, but he just shakes his head and you nod understandingly. “Well, no news is better than bad news.” You whisper to yourself and turn around to walk away from the guys, going on with your chores for the day.

You can’t help but wonder what the man with raven black hair, who happened to steal your heart, is doing. Does he even remember that today is your birthday? He is super forgetful when it comes to things like this, but he did remember it last year, and this let you think to your birthday then – he tricked you into believing that he had forgotten it, only to surprise you later during the night with a trip to a nearby island where you two observed the night sky filled with start all night. Then just before you two got back to the ship he gifted you a red bean bracelet which matched the necklace he wore all the time and since then you haven’t taken it off.

Gestures and moments like that one made you fall in love with him more and more, but the courage to confess or even question if he feels the same way never comes. You know how hard it is for him to understand feelings and emotions in a first place, so you are sure that all he sees in you is a very good friend. Still, all the days and nights spent talking to each other, you or him falling asleep in the others cabin, led to your heart belonging to him and him only.

When he left without a second thought to revenge Thatch’s death without even saying goodbye to you or asking you to go with him left a bitter taste in you. You wanted to go after him, but everyone stopped you from doing so, instead until he comes back you are in charge of the second division, after all your skills in combat and fight strategies are exceptional, so no one in the crew mind you taking over them and it is only until Ace comes back.

The day goes by slowly, but before you know it everyone gathers on the deck and starts celebrating for you and your special day. You are trying to enjoy the night as much as you can, but nothing feels good enough. Your father, Marco, Izo and everyone else are throwing toast after toast in your honor, but you can’t even finish your first drink while everyone else is at least on their fifth or sixth. You are sitting with some of the nurses when your father calls you out to go to him. Excusing yourself you get up and go to your father, wondering what he wants from you now. As much as you love your old man, sometimes he is pain in the ass, and you just hope that tonight he won’t give you one of his life lectures. Taking a seat next to him you give him a questioning look.

“Since when you don’t enjoy celebrating your birthday?” That is all he asks you while taking a glance at you.

“I’m just growing old, I guess.” You shrug, obviously not in the mood for anything and almost done pretending that you are in the mood for any celebration. And this isn’t only for your birthday, you have been like this since Ace left, but today all the feelings you have bottled up feel a little bit heavier than any other day.

“It is because the stubborn brat is not here, isn’t it?” Your dad chuckles with bitterness in his voice. He does miss Ace, too. This is how much of an effect Ace has on people – just like the sun he is attracting everything and everyone towards him. His charisma is so big that there isn’t a possible way in which someone will meet him and not fall in love with him at once. He knows how to charm his way into people’s hearts, especially yours.

“Don’t act like you don’t miss him yourself.” You look over your shoulder at your father and his laughter fills up the air.

“I do miss him. The ship is too quiet without him, there is no one wreaking chaos around.” He says in between laughs. Both of you stay silent for a minute observing the party around you. A deep sigh escapes your lips as you decide to call it a night. You aren’t in the mood, so it is pointless to stay up any longer.

“I’m calling it a night, dad. Don’t drink too much.” You get up and place a kiss on your father’s cheek, wishing him good night. His laughter fills up the air once again as he wishes you good night and tells you not to worry about him.

Making your way to your cabin you stopped a few times as some crew members stopped you for a little chitchat, but it doesn’t take you long to finally reach it. Taking a step in and closing the door behind you, you noticed the big window in it is being open.

“That is strange.” You tell yourself as you remember clearly that you have closed it last time you were in your cabin or maybe you remember wrong. Walking to it you close it and the second it makes the clicking noise that indicates it is being closed, a pair of arms wrap around you with one hand on your middle and the other on your mouth stopping you from screaming.

“Sh, sh, it’s me.” You don’t need to be told twice as you immediately recognise the voice. You relax in the arms that are now strongly wrapping you in a hug. “Happy Birthday, princess.” He whispers in your ear. You waste no more time and turn around to face him. You can’t believe your eyes, after two months you are face to face with the deep dark eyes you have fallen in love with so deeply. This can’t be real, you must be dreaming.

“Ace.” You can feel tears treating to fall from your eyes. “You… you remember.”

“How can I forget.” He chuckles as he pulls you even closer to him. It hits you just now how close the two of you are and how intimate this feels.

“Does anyone else know that you are here?”

“No, only you, and I intended to keep it that way.” He lets go of your body and instead takes your hands in his. “I’m very close to catching Teach and I’m not turning my back to what he did, but I couldn’t help not being part of your special day today.” He said while giving you one of his many charming smiles.

“Please, drop it.” You know that this won’t stop him from going after Blackbeard, but you have to try. “Just come back I beg yo-…”

“Hey, hey I’m here to celebrate you, not argue with you.” He lets a little laughter escape his lips in an attempt to brush off the topic.

“We are all worried sick about you Ace.”

“I’m fine as you can see.” He replies with a little eye roll. “Now birthday girl, how was your day?” He guides you to your bed as you both sit on it. You still can’t process the fact that he is here.

“It was okay.” You shrug. “How did you get on board without getting caught?” It just occurs in your mind that if only you are aware of the fact that he is here right now, this means that he getting on board has been unnoticed by whoever is in charge of the night watch tonight.

“I have my ways.” He winks at you with a little smirk playing on his face.

You two laid down and talked for hours. He told you about how he met his infamous little brother again and that now he has a crew on his own. He told you about all the troubles he had gotten into while searching for Teach, but you weren’t surprised, after all Ace so reckless at times, yet it was so fun listening to his stories while your eyes traced every freckle on his face. You have missed his face so much. You have missed him so much.

Before you know it, the sun is back on the horizon, which means that soon he will be gone. You know that you can’t do anything to change his mind regardless avenging Thatch, but you can’t bare the thought of not seeing him for who knows how long.

“Why did you come here Ace?” The question slips past your lips before you can stop it. “I mean… why did you come back today of all days?” You know how much he values his friends and family, but still… he only showed up for your birthday.

His cheeks get heated. Ace has come all the way here with one thing in mind but now with you in front of him, all his confidence has left the room, and he is not sure what to do or say next.

“It’s… it’s because… I-I know how important this day is for you.” He chuckles awkwardly.

“You are important to me as well.” You tell him not caring about how this will come out.

“And so are you to me.” He swallows hard before raising and sitting up in your bed, you follow him and wait for him to continue. Taking his orange hat off, Ace runs his fingers through his hair, pulling it a bit.

“Ace… are you okay?” You quietly asked.

“Yes, of course, I am.” He tries to brush you off, but you can easily see how tense his muscles are and also noticing that he is… nervous. You have never seen him nervous, what is he nervous for?

“I don’t believe you.” You gently place your hand in his and give it a little squeeze. “You know you can tell me anything. Is it something to do with Teach?” Saying out loud this name you immediately feel the anger building up in him.

“No, this has nothing to do with him.” He grinds his teeth as his jaw clenches, just hearing his subordinate name, who has betrayed your father and all of the crew in the worst way possible, makes his blood boils.

“Then what is it Ace?” Raising one of your brows, you are waiting patiently for him to give you an answer.

“I’m not the best with words and you know this.” He turns his body a bit towards you so he can face you better. “And I know that this might…” He sighs as he is struggling to find the right words. “This might complicate things between us… but… I’m… I-” His cheeks bloom with blush all over them as he looks away for a second before he curses under his breath. “Fuck this.” He says as he cups your face and pulls you closer to him. His lips, soft and plump, captures yours in a sweet full of desire kiss. It takes you less than a second to return it.

You have dreamed of this kiss for so long, maybe since the first week he came on board. His lips, his kiss, is even better than you have imagined – so gentle, yet full of passion. You both pull away at the same time to catch your breath as his hands gently caress your face. Leaning closer to him, your foreheads touch as you share a little eskimo kiss with a little laughter escaping from both of you.

“I missed you, Ace… I missed you so much.” You whisper.

“I missed you more.” He whispers back as he captures your lips once more in a sweet gentle kiss. “I… I have never felt that way before as I feel for you, and I had to make sure that you know it… just in case.”

“Please, don’t go.” You beg. “Or at least let me come with you that way you won’t have to be alone, and we can be together.” You place your hands on his face, cupping it as you kiss him, hoping that this will change his mind.

“I can’t princess.” He pulls away from you and exhales as it pains him – he doesn’t want to leave you, not now when he knows that the love is mutual, but he can’t risk losing you. Looking over his shoulder the morning twilight is set on the horizon, u means it is time for him to go before someone from the crew notice the Striker anchored next to the Moby Dick. “But I will be back here soon, very soon and then we can be together without any worries.” He wipes away the tear that falls down from the corner of your eye. “Don’t cry, I promise you – I will be back before you know it.” He pulls you closer for a hug as he wraps his strong arms around your form and places a kiss on your forehead. “In the meantime, you take good care of the second division, I’m sure you are doing even better job than me.” A soft boyish laughter escapes his lips as he kisses your forehead once more. “Again, I’m bad with words, but you mean everything to me. Never forget that.” He lifts your chin and kisses you one more time before he gets from the bed.

You are still sitting on it, knowing that all you have to do is wait – wait for him to come back to you, so you finally will be able to be together as you have always wanted.

Ace is about to sneak out from your cabin’s window when he turns around and calls out your name.

“I forgot something.” He says as he pulls out a little piece of paper. You get from the bed and stand next to the window where Ace is. He hands you a vivre card. “I forgot to give it to you last time, but now that you have this, no matter what or where I am, you will now know that I’m alright and that soon I will be back to you.” His hand reaches once again for your face and cares it so gently as if you are made of glass. With one last look he turns around and jumps over your window, but you grab his hand as he is about to run away.

“I love you, Ace.” You say as both of you are staring into each other’s eyes. “Please, come back to me soon.” With a heavy sigh you let go of his hand and look down at the vivre card he has given you, placing it to your heart with your hands on it.

“I will.” He says with a smile tilting his hat before running away and jumping out of the ship.

You hear the rumbling of the Striker and with that he is gone. But he will be back soon – after all he has promised you and Ace always keep his promises, and now that you have his vivre card you will never need to worry about any newspapers or so as, as long as it it pointing towards his direction you can and will always find your way to him and know that he is well and unharmed. Loving a man like Ace is a challenge, but you are willing to take this challenge any day because Ace is Ace, and you would never asked for anyone else but him.

writing, format, header & dividers © cinnamoonblue ©cinnamoonblue, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[realcube]

dilf december

day five ⭑ shota aizawa ⭑ coffee shop au!

tw implied age gap, mentions of heart failure & brief mentions of suicide

dealing with hyperactive kids all day is tiring. so, as a strategy to help him get by, aizawa will pay a visit to his local coffee shop on his way to work, and orders a sweet pastry along with a caffeinated drink.

not only is a nice treat, but that little bit of sugar and extra coffee gives him the energy he needs to stay awake through the whole day and complete his extra duties too. it's a nice routine he's found himself falling into, popping into the cafe every day of his working week, and occasionally trying out new desserts.

something else that has made him particularly excited for his daily pastry, is the new hire who has recently started serving him. he's been frequenting this cafe for around two years, and for the most part, it was a nice old lady that would be behind the counter. however, for the last week or so, it has been someone else.

a someone else who happens to be a treat for his eyes, while he buys a treat for his stomach.

today, he's headed to work a bit early to grade some papers before class. naturally, during his walk to the train station, he slips into the cafe first to begin his morning routine.

he was only half-surprised to see you standing behind the counter again, hair thrown into an updo, covered by a puffy hairnet, which he could tell you weren't pleased by wearing. though he's never seen someone look so cute in one before. as for your uniform, you wore a white blouse under an apron with the cafe's logo on it, tightened at the waist to highlight your gorgeous figure.

he couldn't take his eyes off you, which made things a bit awkward when you address him, while he's lost in his fantasies, "welcome. are you ready to order?" you ask, offering him a weak smile.

he blinks, raising his eyebrows as he is suddenly snapped out of his thoughts. "hm," he crosses his arms over his chest and approaches the counter, scanning over all the delicious options kept in the adjacent display case. "a croissant, please."

"okay." you hum, tapping that through the system, "and would you like a drink?"

"yes. a triple espresso."

you raise your eyebrows, then explain with a polite smile, "we serve doubles as standard here, so that would be the equivalent of six shots of espresso. if you prefer, i could give you a double which is equivalent to four sh—"

"six shots is fine." he says bluntly.

"uh," you stammer, quite caught off-guard by the man's resounding certainty. "do you happen to be a teacher?"

he quirks a brow, and can't help but smirk a little at your observation, "yes. highschoolers."

"i would've guessed elementary kids." you snicker, idly fiddling with the tassles of your apron, "i don't think i can, in good conscience, serve you six shots of coffee in one drink."

"really? the other lady would serve it to me, no questions asked." he says, in such a dull, matter-of-fact way that you can't tell if he was being sarcastic.

"she also still thinks smoking is good for you, so she's far from a health guru." you joke, and feel quite pleased with yourself as the man cracks the tiniest smile in response, "you usually get a double, don't you? i could do that for you. that would be four shots."

"i've got an early start today; i could use the extra energy."

"well, i don't want you dying of a heart attack, so will a double be okay?"

"for an old guy like me, heart failure is inevitable anyway. may as well enjoy the coffee while i'm still alive." though his inflection sounds serious, you can tell there is a hint of playfulness in his tone.

"well, you'll have a lot more time to be alive and drink your coffee if you stick to a double." you argue, eyes fixed on the screen as you ring up his total, "that'd be a thousand yen."

he hands over a single note, you process it and then start preparing his drink at the espresso machine. since he is the only customer in the store, in order to combat the awkward silence, you intend to engage him in conversation. and fortunately, he strikes it up first, "a double will have to do. though if i fall asleep mid-class, i'll let them know who to blame."

"i have a feeling you were going to do that either way." you tease, entirely joking, however aizawa is stunned momentarily at how you're able to read him like an open book.

"i see you've somehow found a copy of my lesson plan." he says in that indecipherable tone of his.

"i did. and you glad you're only having four shots of coffee? otherwise, you wouldn't be able to nap." you explain perkily, pouring the brew you made for him into a to-go cup and fitting a lid onto it.

"you'd be suprised." it was now aizawa realised how strange this was. where ever his colleagues tried to engage him in vapid small-talk, it filled with the burning urge to blow his brains out, but now he was not only enjoying a surface-level conversation, but going out of his way to participate in it. with a complete stranger, no less.

"oh, i must be dealing with a professional napper." you muse, giggling to yourself as you use the tongs to pick up a croissant for him from the display case and put it into a paper bag. once that was all done, you wrapped it up, placed it on the counter alongside the coffee and gestured for him to take it — but not without slipping a little something into the bag first.

trudging over to the counter, he picks up the coffee and bag in one hand, and uses the other to get another thousand yen note of his pocket and slide it over to you.

"sir, you've already paid." you correct, motioning for him to keep his money.

"this is your tip." he clarifies, leaving it on the counter for you to take, as he turns around to head out, "you're a sweet girl for caring about the health of others."

as he says that, he doesn't make eye-contact with you, but just as he opens the door to leave, he glances over his shoulder and casts you a gentle smile, which you reciprocate.

it did worry him slightly that he may have came on too strong in that interaction, but his worries were put to rest on the train, just as he was about to start eating his pastry, but lying atop it is a napkin with a note scribbled on it:

'if you're okay with double espressos for the rest of your life, my number is written on the back :P'

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 16 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: hello loves!! I can’t believe we’ve already come to the end of this series😭 thank you guys so so much for all the love you’ve sent my work and efforts!! Love y’all so much, enjoy reading- and stay tuned for my future fics 🤍🩷

W/C: 4.025

part fifteen

I sigh for the millionth time today, leaning back against the backrest of my chair. I rub my wrists, massaging my fingers and knuckles, groaning in relief when I hear some of them pop.

There were only a handful of matches left in the league, along with the Champions League final. The entire PR and marketing department had been working overtime for a couple days now, wanting to end the season on a high note.

I was so tired and stressed out, internally debating whether to call in sick tomorrow, but there was no way the team could finish all of this without my help.

Since my role in the department has gotten much more important this season, I needed to attend more meetings and calls with a lot of different people.

Never in my life, had I exercised my social skills this much, and it was only a matter of time before my social battery ran so low that I couldn't take interacting with people anymore, without looking like a total jerk.

Though, the generous paycheck that dropped into my back account every month, motivated me to work harder, well, sometimes..

I shift from my position, grabbing a single pen from its holder. Looking back up to my laptop to write down some refreshing and creative questions for the upcoming, very important and widely viewed interviews.

Winning both the national league and the Champions League in the exact same season would be absolutely insane to witness.

I had experienced the feeling in my first season working at the club. After almost three years of getting to know the team and the players who had come and gone, this year would feel even more special.

I had grown closer to the club, not just as an employee but as a supporter as well. I had multiple personal and dear connections with the club.

My father had just renewed his contract with the club. A topic that everyone working for respective companies joked about was the possibility of the agreement not being renewed.

After all these years, both companies had become synonymous with each other.

I had also gotten closer to my colleagues, much closer than I would've ever imagined. Starting this job as an eighteen-year-old, I was incredibly intimidated by the sheer size of the operations behind the scenes.

Of course, juggling both working here and studying for my law degree was hard at first. Work in the morning had switched to the evening when attending the matches.

Study breaks consisting of trying to figure out what interview questions were rubbish and needed to be scrapped, and packing my little suitcase for another trip, only to overpack again.

Thankfully, I had gotten all of my results back from this school year, and I was absolutely over the moon knowing I'd be going for my next year of my degree after summer break.

All my hard work had finally paid off when I saw my grades, and I had celebrated it that night- with working…

The biggest change in my life?

That was the fact that I had actually found love.

Going from hating each other to loving each other was a weird feeling. Even so, Jude and I had been together for almost six months now, and honestly speaking; I had never felt so loved by anyone in the entire world before.

We supported each other wholeheartedly, and it was definitely easier to do than other couples.

Mostly, because we worked together.

Living together for the first few weeks of our relationship, definitely sped up the process of actually getting to know each other. It bonded us faster than I would’ve ever expected.

Looking back, it's difficult to even imagine a world where Jude never moved into my place..

Jude had moved out of my house in the middle of March. He had changed houses following everything that had happened the last few months.

The new house is quite far away from the old, temporary house he lived in, that got broken into. The home was spacious and modern, just like I'd expected before visiting for the first time.

My father and his partners at his firm, had finally built up a proper case to take the intruder to court. I didn't know the specifics because, for some reason I wasn’t allowed to, by both my own father and Jude.

I already knew that the man who had caused so much chaos wasn't getting off the hook easily, and that was enough for me. Knowing any more details about the situation, would probably cause me more stress and anxiety, so I had just learnt to let it go.

I couldn't even lie, lately I had spent more time at Jude’s place than my own. There was something so comforting about it, maybe it was how inviting and cozy it felt.

His friends from England and Germany would always be over, for the simplest of reasons.

Playing games, both board and video ones, watching new movies in the unnecessary, huge cinema room. It created a very fun and friendly atmosphere and made me feel more comfortable than ever.

Jude’s parent’s presence, especially his mother’s- was very much appreciated. I loved chatting to her, from the most mundane things, to the things that I was worried about.

Just like the other women in my life, she gave me guidance and encouragement to keep on going and be even better at anything I wanted to accomplish.

Obviously, there was no way we could keep on hiding our relationship from certain teammates Jude was very close with. We'd decided to be open with them, because keeping a 'secret' from them wouldn't exactly give us peace of mind in the long run.

Scratching what I've written down so far, I drop my pen onto the desk. Glancing up at the clock to check the time, and gasping softly when I remember I have a meeting that starts in a minute.

I quickly grab the necessary paperwork, and dash out of the office. Into the meeting room, already full of my coworkers, sat waiting only for me..

"Okay, I'm really confused. Do I have something on my face? Like sauce from lunch or something?" The puzzled y/n asks, turning around in her office chair, only to glance at the busy Lina.

"Uh.." The older woman begins, looking up from her monitor and shaking her head.

"Nope, no sauce. Why?" Lina takes her hand off the computer mouse, sighing before leaning back.

"Everyone has been looking at me, like since- this morning.." y/n rolls her chair forward, holding out her foot, to stop herself from violently slamming into Lina's desk.

"You think? I thought it was because your dress looked cute.."

Lina smirks at her own words, her hand reaching over to grab her purple water bottle, swiftly taking the top off and chugging a couple gulps.

y/n scoffs, glancing down at the dress she's wearing. Yes, of course the dress is cute, that's why she wore it today. But the stares she got were definitely not in appreciation of the cream-colored dress.

"Are you serious? I don't think-"

She's cut off by a loud knock. Both women break eye contact, looking up at the glass doors where someone is standing in front of.

"Jude?" y/n perks up, standing up from her chair and making a beeline towards him. Ignoring the unnecessarily loud and teasing whistle leaving Lina's mouth.

Stepping outside, she furrows her brows, looking around for anyone who could eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Follow me.." Jude can only say, immediately starting to walk down the stairs without sparing another second.

"What are you-" She trails off, sighing in defeat, before following him down, into one of the empty meditation rooms.

She looks at Jude as he locks the door behind them, his hand immediately reaching to wrap around her waist. He pulls her closer than ever, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Something wrong?" She asks, picking up on his stressed out demeanor. Pulling back, she scans his face once again.

"I have to show you something, but don't freak out, yeah? I called your dad already, and he said he'll see what he can do.."

This only sends her into a panic, his warning going over her head as she watches him pull his phone out of his pocket. Arms flexing underneath his training jacket as he moves.

She looks at him with a confused frown on her face, her eyes almost popping out of her head when Jude shows what was so important.

Grabbing the phone out of his hand without thinking, she brings the device closer to her face. A small noise of annoyance leaving her mouth.

It's all photos of the couple, outside during various times they had been on dates for the past- six months.

"This one's from Valencia, and this one's from that night in Mallorca?!" y/n exclaims, hands shaking as she tries to scroll through the other photos. All off guard pictures of them, taken while they were out together, after matches, and even on dates in Madrid.

Noticing how distressed the photos make his girlfriend, Jude grabs his phone out of her hand. Setting it down on the table next to him, he grabs onto her shoulders, making her look up at him.

"It's okay, we prepared for this, remember? I won't let my team put out a statement, apart from legal action. Your dad's handling it with my team, okay?" He brings her frazzled form into a reassuring hug, planting kisses on her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

Of course, just like her boyfriend explains- they knew their relationship couldn't be kept secret for much longer. Jude, being the high profile football player he is, couldn't exactly keep people from prying into his private life.

She knew that the media had caught a whiff of her, even back when they despised each other. The night at Wembley Stadium months ago, had caused a little commotion back then.

The gossip pages and newspapers loved a story containing love, a successful and beloved young man, and not to forget- her having actual connections to the club in both work, and her father's partnership with the club.

To the couple, when they entered the training center or the stadium, they would work at that particular day- it was about work and work only.

When they clocked in, they prioritized working. It would've obviously been very difficult for them to keep their relationship on the low- if they glanced at each other every damn second, while in the same room.

During working hours, they'd greet each other like their other colleagues, acting like they didn't make out the night before in his room.

Unavoidably, the players who knew about them dating, would try their best to sneak little jokes and teases in. The couple would successfully brush off the comments.

Practicing all these months made the perfect facade, but sometimes the jokes were too good not to chuckle, at least very discreetly.

"Okay, I trust you.." She mutters, pressing her face into her chest, a soft hum leaving her mouth. Thoughts and worries swirling through her mind.

"Baby! I'm ready!" I shout, almost falling flat on my face while pulling on my new heels.

These red bottoms were absolute hell to wear, especially since I had just gotten them as a gift, from Jude.

It would take some time before I could break them in, but with how stunning they looked paired with this dress, it was worth the pain, at least tonight.

To celebrate winning the league, Jude and I were finally going on a date. It had been a while since we had been on a proper date night, mostly due to how busy we both have been lately.

Jude with training and I with preparing everything, from interviews to social media posts, and even some press releases that needed to be out before the Champions League final that was in a couple days.

"I'm here.." I walk out of his bedroom, chuckling at the sheer amount of my clothes stuffed in his closet.

We had been staying over at each other's place on and off, but looking at both our closets, you'd think we'd been living together again.

Considering how important the past few weeks had been, Jude had been training a lot. I was especially worried about him and his health, mainly thinking of his shoulder injury.

His doctor and the team's physiotherapist had reassured me personally, but still, I could help but wince every time he touched his shoulder and grunted. Or seeing the multiple, pain-stopping injections, he had to take to play a full ninety minutes.

"You look handsome.." I mutter when reaching the front door, pressing a kiss onto his plump lips, my hands reaching to fix the collar of his button down. My lipgloss leaving a sheen of glitter on his lips, it making me chuckle as he gave me a dumbfounded look.

We’re fairly young, and early in our relationship, we realized that fancy dates weren't really our thing. But tonight was one of the few occasions we'd go all out, and dress up very nicely.

"You look absolutely stunning, love.." He smiles, his hand circling around my waist and down my back, fingers digging into the fabric of my dress.

"Thank you, baby.." I hum, giving him a small wink. A loud chuckle leaves my lips as he attempts to wink back, though, just like every time, it looks like he's got something in his eyes, instead of being cheeky.

"What's so funny, hm?" Jude questions, hands trailing down to grip at my bum, squeezing slightly.

"Mhm, nothing.." I say, reaching up to fix his hair a little. "Should we leave? It's getting late.."

He agrees instantly, and I wrap my arm around his as we walk out of his house. The sun hadn't set yet, mostly because summer was coming soon, and I couldn't wait to enjoy the weather this year, yet again.

"Wait- I didn't grab my keys.." I gasp, eyes going wide as I watch him pull the door shut.

"Oh, you're definitely not driving missy, especially not in those heels.." Jude says, giving me a cheeky smile, and I can immediately sense that he is hiding something.

"You got your license?!" I beam, eyes glistening in happiness. Though, my excitement is cut short when he shakes his head, an embarrassed look on his face.

"No, I did not get my license.."

"Oh.." I say, the corners of my mouth twitching as I hold back a menacing laugh.

"So, you'll be my passenger prince forever?" I bring my hand up to grab onto his bicep, squeezing the muscles as my body leans against his.

"Will you ever stop saying that?" I watch his lips move, eyes glimmering when his lips pull into a slight pout.

"When you get your license, sir. I'll stop calling you my passenger prince..."

"I'm sure you would like a break from it then.." Jude says, his expression changing to a smug one within a split-second, and I follow his lead without thinking.

My uncomfortable heels click against the concrete as Jude leads me outside the gates of the house, a sleek black Rolls Royce parked right in front of the driveway.

"You got a driver for tonight?" I ask, eyes fixated on the, admittedly sexy car.

"Going all out for my lovey tonight. I've got to spoil my girl, always.."

I grin at his sweet words, warmth reaching my face, and I suddenly feel shyness creeping up on me. I shift my gaze for a second, avoiding eye contact with him and staring at the concrete.

"Aw, is my pretty girl shy now? You weren't like this a moment ago, huh?" A soft noise of protest leaves my mouth at the loving words. My breath hitching as he presses a kiss on my neck, right against my jugular.

"Come on, love. We'll be very late to our reservation if I keep you here longer.." Jude gives me a charming smile, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me towards the car, making me forget whatever my thoughts were before he'd made my heart flutter.

"I'm sweating literal buckets. I can't even breathe properly right now.." My eyes immediately shift to Luis, my right eye twitching, just like it has been on and off this entire day. The stress and anxiety of this all had been building up in us both, causing actual physical symptoms to show.

"Ask me about it, I went peeing two times already, and we're just seventy minutes into this match.." I say, wiping my sweaty hands down my black jeans. The laptop and phone on my lap shaking, as I bounce my knee up and down in anticipation.

My heart also leaped in my throat every time Jude got fouled. Checking the stats confirmed my suspicion, he currently is the most fouled player on the pitch.

I obviously knew it was a part of the game, but considering his injury- I couldn't help but be worried.

"Fuck, I swear if we score, I'm going to lose my shit." Luis says, running a hand through his curly hair, and I can almost feel the nerves radiating off of him.

Well, all 90.000 people in Wembley Stadium feel the exact same way right now. From supporters to chairmen of both respective clubs, sitting on the edge of their seats as we all watched the Champions League final between Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund unfold, live in front of our own two eyes.

My breath hitches in my throat as we're given a corner. The grip on my phone getting tighter as Luis glances at me.

"Okay, we got this, Toni's so experienced-"

"Shut up, I'm trying to focus.." I exclaim, grabbing onto Luis' shoulder to calm him down.

"You can't exactly focus with 90,000 people screaming.." He replies, glancing at me.

I open my mouth to speak, but decide to spare my breath, and stop breathing in anticipation.

Right, at that moment, Toni kicks the ball from the corner flag, it flies upwards as we watch both our players and Dortmund players scramble in front of the goal.

Finally, Dani jumps up and GOALLLL!!

The entire Madridista side jumps up in celebration, my devices almost slipping out of my hand and onto the floor as we jump up to cheer as loud as we can.

"I'm going to kiss Dani's forehead after this!" Luis screams, making me choke on my laughter. I hurry up and return my attention back to my devices, as happy as we were, we still had our job to do and execute.

I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm down, before we both go back to doing our jobs.

Our wishes and prayers for a second goal aren't that far away, time-wise. Dortmund player Maatsen tries passing the ball, due to a wrong estimation, Jude gets the ball instead, shooting to Vini.

He goes on to score the second banger of the night. The stadium erupts in both cheers of happiness and screams of protest.

It's even louder than after the first goal, and we know it's only a matter of five minutes before our boys secure the victory over this season's Champions League..

y/n fixes her shirt for the nth time, trying to fidget with something before she loses her mind. Standing in the tunnel, she glances at Luis. Both of their eyes glimmering, as they wait for the families of the players to enter the pitch to celebrate the win.

They were insanely busy with handling their work, channelling their emotions into doing their job, to make sure it's all taken care of before they were done for the night. The automated system, consisting of already edited work, would take care of the rest from now on...

"Dude, what just happened?.." Luis whispers, glancing at the equally mesmerized girl next to him.

"We won!" She squeals, letting her excitement and happiness show as she hugs Luis. "Fuck, I don't even know what I would do if we lost. I'd actually be having a breakdown right now.."

Luis hugs her back, patting her head affectionately.

"You've worked very hard, y/n. Thank you for being my best friend and best colleague.." He says, giving her a brotherly smile.

"Thank you too, older brother.." She laughs, voice slightly teasing, as she pats his shoulder.

"Oh, I think we can join the celebrations.." He says, pointing to the families they’ve gotten very close with over the years.

The familiar faces joining their loved one on the pitch to celebrate this huge milestone in their careers.

"Come on.." Luis says, dragging her along and onto the pitch.

She looks around, a permanent smile plastered on her face as she's overwhelmed by the emotions running through her body.

"Dani!" Luis shouts, and y/n watches him run up to the goal scorer, just like his promise- Luis plants a fat kiss on the athlete's head.

y/n laughs loudly at the interaction, making eye contact with Dani’s wife, and laughing even harder at her confused expression.

She shakes her head at her best friend’s antics. Realizing she's alone now, she freezes. Cameras were absolutely everywhere at the moment, and she was absolutely sure at least one was pointed towards her.

The weeks following the photos of their dates being leaked were quite turbulent, with a lot of support, but also criticism- it was very difficult to ignore the reactions.

She wasn't anywhere close to wanting to be a public figure of some sort, so the attention was putting a lot of pressure on her.

But loving a star athlete, like Jude meant having to sacrifice some part of her privacy. If it meant she could run up to him now, and kiss his face a couple of times.

Then screw privacy, she'd throw that all away to get to him right now.

Her eyes darting to the rest of the enormous pitch again, frowning when she can't find the boy she's so desperately looking for.

Finally, after squinting a whole lot, and definitely causing damage to her eye muscles, she finally makes eye contact with the equally lost looking Jude.

He's standing in between both his parents, arms around them as he looks around wearily.

Jude's eyes immediately light up in relief when he spots y/n, mumbling something to his smiley parents before he makes a run for it.

Within seconds, he's by his girlfriend's side, and she jumps up to wrap her legs around his waist in greeting. He pulls her flush against him in a tight embrace. y/n cups his jaw tenderly to place multiple kisses on his face.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, baby.." She breathes out, cut off as he presses his lips onto hers, exhilarating kiss that makes them forget other people are around, and especially the hundreds of cameras and phones filming the pitch.

He catches her lips, plump lips sucking onto her bottom lip before they're forced to pull back for air. They pant, faces warm, and cheeks hurting from how much they'd smiled within the past couple minutes.

"I'm proud of you too, baby. Come on, you're my family too. Forget about work and the cameras here for me, yeah?”

She plants her shoes back onto the grass when he lowers back on the floor. She looks down as he grabs onto her hand. Playing with her fingers as he makes eye contact with her.

Reaching up, she swipes at a piece of grass stuck on his temple, probably from being fouled earlier, she chuckles at the sight, biting her lip.

“Come on, then. Your parents are waiting..” She says, turning and dragging him along the pitch. Skipping towards his awaiting, happy parents. Who look at them with an infinite amount of joy and proudness in their eyes.

“He’s a winner! Jude’s our winner!!”

[sos717]

i guess you don’t answer anymore but i’m hoping you at least read this because it’s genuine and i feel like i have nowhere else to post this. i just want someone to hear me. ignore this if it’s too long. i want to thank you for your posts. they are the only writings that have truly resonated with me ever since i discovered the law, neville, states, being, whatever we call this thing. but i’ll be honest i’m giving up today. i discovered the ‘law of attraction’ in 2019 when i was 18 years old. it is now getting to the last quarter of 2024 and i am 23 where i’ve evolved in understanding to where i found ‘nondualism’. i went from law of attraction -> law of assumption & neville goddard -> robotic affirming -> mindset fixing & joe dispensa -> states & edward art -> nondualism. however… i have never manifested a single thing in my life. i used to be filled with anxiety when i said this. fearing these words would cause it to keep going on but i don’t even want to fear anymore. it’s just the truth. your posts taught me that i don’t have to fear my words anymore anyways. i’ve had a dream for a long time. i don’t believe i will ever reach this dream anymore. along with that dream i also just really wanted good for my family and i. you know the basics like financial freedom, happiness, mended relationships. but throughout everything i’ve learned i could never make it work and i’m just done. i guess i will return to living a normal life and just hoping i make it. i hope i find happiness or just.. anything. i’m just letting go of it all because i feel like things shouldn’t be this hard. even going to caleb’s channel and watching his recent ‘your manifestation isn’t taking long, you are’ video…. i’m just… exhausted. i just dont know how to do this and i don’t think i can take life anymore anyways. but yeah i just wanted to say thank you. even though i could never find success, you taught me who I Am. and i’ll forever be grateful for your wisdom even though you’re a bit younger than me. i hope you find continued success and live a happy life. sincerely

THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PART TO THE HUGE POST, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME

After what felt like months away from tumblr I really dove into self-inquiry fully, and of course still am, and I promised you guys a mega post so here’s the initial information so far. There is more to come.

IM SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS IN GRAMMAR OR SMTH I WROTE THIS AT MANY DIFFERENT MOMENTS THROUGHOUT THE DAY!! FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS, ETC BUT PLS DONT ASK BY RESPONDING TO THIS POST, ITLL CAUSE SO MUCH SPAM ON THE FEED AND MY ASKS PAGE

Hello! Yes I have started looking back into my inbox (THERE ALLOT OF ASKS 😭😭🫶) but I absolutely plan on answering as many as possible, and because your post resonated with how I used to feel, I want to answer yours first.

So to begin with, It makes me so happy to know that what I’ve written has some kind of affect (that being positive). I can’t remember if I told you guys how old I was but I must have cus you seem to know 😭😭, yes I’m 19 we’re very close in age, this moment in life is when allot of us who figure out this stuff lean into it more because we realize how much of a leg up we have if we just “apply” the teachings this early on.

So first what I want to say to you is, no, your not giving up on a dream and neither are you going to live a normal life, I’ll make sure of that, this beautiful world that we step into gives us so much insight on what we inherently are. But I need to remind you and everyone else, this is not some big secret that has to be practiced, it’s a look at what we are and always will be. You have purpose and you deserve to be happy and enjoy a life that’s easy and fulfilling. I apologize in advance because this is going to be a pretty long post!! 🫶🫶

Let’s get rid of the labels and titles we’ve given these understandings as if they are for someone to learn and master. No one masters manifestation, no one will ever master manifestation and I truly don’t care for how many “success stories” they have, it doesn’t hold proving value of what they are (notice how I didn’t say who), we are not who’s, but that’s for later in the post.

The reason I’ve stepped away from the concept of manifesting is because it is inherently lack and separation based. No matter the teaching, they all seem to glorify the idea of getting and achieving which puts great pressure on success stories and all that rubbish. (Not me turning British) 😝😝, okay sorry, so yeah this also goes for nondualism, I don’t associate a title with what I learn, it’s not NonDualism it’s actually just self discovery in disguise of a teaching. But for this exact reason I don’t think to myself “I need to learn NonDualism better”, nononooooo I made this mistake wayyy to much due to the sole fact that I came in with the expectation that this would now teach me the secrets of manifesting. This is kind of the set up to more desire and lack, which is actually the opposite of the self-realization “journey”.

So, when you say you have never manifested anything in your life, I say this with incredible pleasure, that this is impossible, I know I know, before you start thinking to yourself that youve heard this before but I don’t think people go that in depth as to what that even means. So, your life and your problems, are not actually problems.

Self-realization is not the journey for the person to become consciousness, but to understand that you ARE consciousness to begin with. You does no reference a someone, but “ “.

This is going to be, quite a post so PLEASE hang in there. And I just want to add in, this is still not a seperate being trying to understand that it’s connected to conciousness, no, you as conciousness, infinite knowing, are so involved with the content that you appear as, you’ve tricked yourself into thinking that you are just 1 thing of the content. Let me use my first example.

We have given ourselves the greatest interpretation and key to knowing ourself, and that’s dreaming.

Every night, we sleep, HOORRAAYYYY, now let’s get into the details because this is where the magic happens and it clicks.

Take the moment before a dream appears, recognize that when the eyes are closed there’s this presence. Not the darkness, the presence. Something, but not a thing.

Stay here and forget the rest of the world exists for a moment. Now there is only this presence, it’s knowing, it’s being right? Now there’s no actual material but regardless, it is, something. This isn’t something out of this world it’s literally, you. From this, knowing or no-thingness, comes expressions, absolutely infinite potential, this is registered as a dream, but, before the dream in any way can be experienced, there always has to be some type of interpreter/lens, this comes in the form a person or better yet, senses. Of course, there’s nothing to the senses or the person but whatever it’s formulated from, which was that presence/knowing. The activity of this infinite potential that is the knowing, (you asleep) appears, only with the help of a pov/sight.

Nonetheless, it plays out, it plays stories of absolutely anything, for no reason at all, and as it does, we get lost to it, it starts to become real, and without even realizing it, it’s no longer a dream but something we’re experiencing, now you are the character in the dream and you naturally play out the dialogue and storyline and explore the fields, magic towers, and laugh and dance and make friends, and then you wake up.

When you wake up, you recognize “oh, nothing was actually happening”, now of course, when your the person in the dream it is very real, but even then, is it? Knowing what you know, there wasn’t actually a place with dialogue, no character of its own experience or life, no actual forests or fields and magic, no one actually laughing and dancing or friends, but simply the appearance of that. The illusion.

And it’s not that it’s only a formulation of you when you realize it is, but it always is, the dream doesn’t only become an illusion or “fake” when you wake up, it’s naturally just fake, REGARDLESS of how it seems to be. And regardless we sleep every night knowing that we’ll forget it’s a dream.

So I think you can see where I’m headed with this, I’m going to use the example Rupert Spira uses but twist it a bit.

You go to sleep in Australia and dream yourself in the streets of Paris, and you take on the identity of John, you don’t actually become John and experience the streets of Paris.

Now, John drinks coffee and he feels the sunlight warm his skin, sees the greenery, feels the wind, all of it. But despite the way it all seems the sunlight, the sensations that John has, is not actually real, and neither is John. John isn’t actually feeling anything, he doesn’t exist and there is no Paris being traveled. And it’s not John that realizes/awakens to the understanding that he’s fake and this is all a dream, it’s you, asleep in Australia that realizes it as you modulate/formulate as the streets of Paris, the coffee, and the greenery, and John, understand?

The activity of that presence, if you recall when we talked about closing your eyes, formulated as something that seemed so real, and that doesn’t give any reality to the dream itself, because there is no separating the knowing from the content known. Without the “space” for it to appear or form from, how on earth would there be the content? A bigger step forward is to realize that there isn’t even an actual dream occurring but it’s all the self knowing presence of, well, knowing. I want to add something very important before moving on.

Knowing does not happen for the purpose of pleasure, we naturally deconstruct false ideas like this as we go, but something you MUST understand about the nature of existence is, none of this is appearing for the purpose of ant experience, there isn’t actually an experience. No one is enjoying nor hating the illusion, it is simply an appearance.

In the same way that the aware/presence before the dream appears from it simply is, in this way, we are. It’s like saying the TV screen plays a movie and experiences it, or does it for the purpose of experience, no that’s silly, knowing has no inherent motive, it is, you (infinite knowing) don’t “happen” for a purpose, never mind happen at all, you are, and in this do you take form of something, your self aware nature of course knows the content of your own being, but that doesn’t mean the illusion can enjoy itself, or that you enjoy or experience the illusion, it’s just a plain appearance, and that’s it.

For example, when you close your eyes on this next demonstration, truly try to grasp the essence of what I’m trying to explain.

Bring from the nothingness/knowing when you close your eyes, a blue vase, know it in every aspect you can, incorporate every sense you can (even taste if your a little freaky 🫦🫦😭) and make it as present as possible. After you open your eyes I have a question for you. (I’m serious, do the damn practice it’ll help you) please take as much time you need to truly get in there (not too long I can’t wait all day)

okay hey, your back, now answer me this, from what did this immersive appearance take reality from? You and I know that there’s no actual vase despite its presence, no matter the vibrant or dull colors, no matter the feel, rough or glossy, its taste 🫦😭, its feel, etc. So what was the substance that formulated this? If you guessed knowing, your soooooo correct, if you didn’t it’s okay you get brownie points 🫶. But yes, now I need you to understand this verrrry clearly, the vase was not real!!!! Yet it appeared that way! This is AN ILLUSION SURPIRISISIEIEIEIEIEIEISISBWHH- yes. No matter how much you want to convince yourself and go back to the vase and its appearance and its feel or colors or any aspect of it, it wasn’t ACTUALLY happening and that means it didn’t take place for anyone or anywhere!!! All there was present was knowing, from knowing forms vase and every seemingly alternate way that it is known, feeling is a form of knowing, literally every sense is just a form of knowing. Every sense that was “used” to understand the vase was all just aspects and appearances of knowing, the color, the sounds, the taste, the feels, they didn’t formulate anywhere else, but nonetheless appeared as immersive and real because YOU BECAME FOCUSED ON THE CONTENT OF THE APPEARANCE RATHER THAN RECOGNIZE THAT IT WAS JUST APPEARANCE. And even though the content of the appearance you formed as became the focus, it still didn’t change the objective fact that there wasn’t someone actually there and experiencing it in any way.

The knowing in/on which appearances formulate is not something different than the appearance, there is nothing to the illusion but its reality, and its reality is knowing. In this way, the illusion couldn’t even be described as something real or taking place, as if it could exist apart from the source of it.

Knowing this is also knowing there is no such thing as the knowing OF, we never know of things or of experiences as if they are something seperate and exist seperatley from knowing itself, that’s literally impossible. Moving forward

You are not the person/character, and it’s not that you are a limited being and you have to wake up to the idea that you are infinite knowing, you have to realize that you were never something seperate, and that this is simply the modulation of your being, and it’s not a someone it’s more of a something.

Let’s starts stabilizing this.

To all of the experiences across centuries, theres one constant amongst the billions of people who’ve lived and are now and that is, I Am. We might not know for certain about anything else ever in this entire universe, and we might not even know who or what we are but for a fact we can say, yes, I am.

There’s no true word that can describe the infinite essence of being, so we use knowing or conciousness or god, all completely the same.

So, to every experience, without an ounce of doubt, there can be the claim, I am. This is knowing, and only from knowing comes the statement, because we must know we are in order to claim that we are. I think something that can capture this is a newborn, imagine yourself to be newly born, mere seconds I mean, eyes closed. You have no understand of anything, no thoughts, no memories, no identity, your pure experience is simply being/knowing, and I don’t mean the action of knowing, that’s not a real thing. Knowing is inherent, you don’t force it.

Going back to experiences. Any experience that is recognized, any seeing, and hearing, tasting touching, and of course feeling, is assumed to be the experience of the body and this is therefore falsely established as “me”, in doing so, we forget our true nature of freedom and limit our understanding and abilities to the limitations of the body.

I’m now going to help you realize the body is an interpreter, and not of a world that’s happening somewhere in time and space, but that the world is the interpretation/modulation/illusion/dream/appearance of our shared infinite being, AFTER being recognized through the interpretations, (sensations and perceptions). This also means that it’s in no way an actual measurement to what you fully are.

What experience is there to seeing? Better yet let me narrow it down, there is nothing to seeing as if there is someone doing the seeing. Seeing simply is. There’s no one to do it, just what is. There is sight, how is there an acknowledgment of the sight/seeing? There must be something to it that gives the understanding “oh I’m seeing this”. (Hint, it’s the same thing that let you know, that “I Am”). Knowing, yes, not knowing as an action, that’s not real, people don’t know, knowing is the essence of what we are (we are not people). But just wait for that. So all there is to sight is knowing, and I don’t think I have to do this but you can say the same about absolutely every other sense, because every single “experience” absolutely requires knowing. Without knowing, “experience” never is, I think we can all acknowledge that.

There is no such thing as the experience of being a human, Why are we deciding that this is what’s it’s like to be humans, we know humans we acknowledge humans but there is no such thing as being a human, in the same way that there’s no true way that there is something to being a fox or a bird or a rock, it’s only with labels are these ideas decided.

The only thing you’ll be able to muster up is memories, emotions, etc, but that doesn’t make it the inherent experience of being a human. Our first and only experience of what we are is knowing, and then knowing that we are, that’s it. In the same way that a babies first experience is not “I am a baby” or “I am a human”, rather it’s just knowing. If being human was our nature, that’s all we’d recognize, and from the very beginning. Our experience does not actually change from being/knowing, we simply forget that there is the knowing, and decide to focus on the body to be “me” or “human”.

You don’t need senses to know you are. Knowing is something unimaginable. Go ahead and try to find it by closing your eyes or even with them open. Can you grab or touch the knowing. Can you recognize its dimensions or what its appearance is? How old or young is it?

Do me a favor and find the edge where knowing starts and stops.

Let me know when you find it because you never will.

Even when you try, it’s only conciousness itself that searches for its own parameters.

By recognizing that your truly not the body, or this person you as knowing have pretended to become, the made up problems of the person disappear, well actually, you realize that there is no person that has problems, only an idea. Only the idea that I am someone and something is happening to me, I am something seperate and need saving. There isn’t actually a seperate self, the seperate self is the activity that you as knowing are, when you become involved with the content and forget your true nature. And what’s truly the main takeaway from this is that, even when it seems like you’ve lost it and now you have to restart and understand it all over again, you as knowing haven’t gone anywhere, your the one pretending to be something lost, and not on purpose, but because you involve yourself too heavily in the appearances without recognizing where they originate from.

From what we know so far, I hope in some way you’re able to recognize that there is no one doing manifestations and having success stories. You ARE the manifestation and it will NEVER be any other way, whether we recognize it or not, that’s the beauty. So no matter if we go on about this appearance of life and say we don’t get it and move on, you as conciousness will continue to play the roles, because there is no off switch to this.

I’m hope this has been able to start untying the blinds over your “eyes” and you’re starting to somewhat understand the truth of what you/we are. This is only the beginning and it’s only going to get more incredible and beautiful from here. But for now I’m shleeepy hehehe, I’ll talk to you soon, never ever give up on your dreams!!!! 🫶❤️❤️

[syndrossi]

Oops, this is an accidental fill, because I meant to get to some of the prompts further down, but I misread where I was in the set of replies, so...enjoy?

This takes place at a hand-wavy point roughly a year later than present-day Resonant, when winter has finally started to settle in.

x~x~x

Attending court in the throne room had grown more tolerable over time, Jon admitted. There were dull days, of course, filled with petty squabbles being aired before the king, but that was also true of the occasional small council session.

Today, there was a different feel to it. There were more ladies in attendance than usual, which meant that the queen and Princess Rhaenyra both were present, trading the occasional icy glare. Helaena meanwhile had been given a place of honor beside the throne itself, which had concerned him at first, given her discomfort with large crowds, but she seemed in good spirits, a garland of blue flowers adorning her head, the color bright against her light hair.

Jon did not doubt that they would have been green flowers, had they existed. Her gown was a deep, velvety emerald with white trim, and Helaena’s own dress mirrored it, though it had white lacing along the bodice that reminded him of frost on a window.

He and Rhaegar had not escaped being dressed in fancier attire either. Daemon had selected their garb that morning, which had included new boots that needed breaking in and the stiff, quilted black tunics with gold trimming that they had worn once before. He hated them, especially the jeweled belts they had to wear over them, because those always meant that they had to wear their circlets as well.

The rest of their cousins were equally frilled. Aegon was picking at the jewels on his cuff, while Aemond stared imperiously across the attending courtiers. Jon and Rhaegar had been placed between them and Jace and Luke, though Daeron and Joff were together at the very end of the cousins, accompanied by their nurses. There were other highborn boys clustered near the wall with them, which was also unusual.

Both he and Rhaegar were often mistaken by visiting nobles as Jace and Aegon, and he could feel the attention on them very acutely today. There were more young maids in attendance, and Jon knew their number would only increase over time. If there were this many visiting the Red Keep in the hopes of catching Jace’s or Aegon’s eye, when their cousins were all of six and ten years old, he did not dare imagine the horde as they neared majority.

One particularly pretty girl with red-brown hair that nearly burst out of its netting caught his eye. She was perhaps two years older than him, growing into a woman’s shape, and her smile at noticing his gaze brightened. Jon quickly averted it, well aware that if she knew that he was not in fact Prince Jace, she would feel quite differently.

There was a buzz of anticipation to the crowd as they reached the last few attendants of the day, and when the last had been dismissed, the king rose from his throne.

“With the passing of the season’s first snows, the time has come for the crowning of Winter’s Prince,” he said.

He nodded at the queen, who took Helaena by the hand and began guiding her toward the cluster of highborn boys—and Daemon, who caused the queen’s steps to quicken past him.

Winter’s Prince? A glance at Rhaegar found him entirely unruffled, which meant this was some southron tradition. Is it like a tournament’s Queen of Love and Beauty?

It was Helaena who began tugging her mother, whose pace had slowed as they reached her sons. The queen’s lips curved into a frown as they passed Aegon and Aemond, her gaze flitting toward Jace and Luke.

But it was Jon and Rhaegar who Helaena halted in front of. Her burst of confidence seemed to falter as she looked between them, and Jon gave her an encouraging smile. Her purple eyes widened, and she smiled back. She raised her hands to the crown of flowers atop her hair, and Jon realized that it was not a single crown but two stacked atop one another.

Winter roses. He had thought they might be, when he had glimpsed them from afar, but seeing it for certain brought a strange pang to his chest.

“I choose Jon and Rhaegar,” she said, and though her voice was soft, it carried in the hushed silence of the throne room. “They are princes of winter.”

She extended her arms, and Jon bowed so that she could place the first crown on his head, and Rhaegar followed suit. Before they straightened, she gave each of their cheeks a hesitant peck, then pulled back, seeming startled by her own daring.

The queen looked equally taken aback, though she managed a smile as the room erupted into loud, echoing cheers, and he and Rhaegar were taken by Helaena, each with a hand in hers, back up before the king, who seemed delighted.

Otto Hightower, who was not far from the king’s side, watched them with a rather less than pleased expression, his smile tight and pinched. Two crowns, Jon mused. Helaena would not have been able to hide such a choice from whoever had placed them on her head. Doubtless the queen and Hightower both had assumed they were meant for Aegon and Aemond.

“All hail the princes of winter!” Viserys exclaimed, and the cheering rose to a roar.

“What does this mean?” Jon half-whispered to Rhaegar.

His brother gave him a pitying look. “It means that we will be dancing the entire evening.”

Jon winced, glancing down at his new boots, which were already starting to pinch. “Wonderful.”

[aajjks]

Lovers (m)

synopsis. you love him so much. You’ll die if he ever leaves you.

warnings.YÄNDËRË CÖNTËNT, mätůrè cöntënt, ünhëälthy rëlätïönshïp, pösëssïvënëss, yändêrê nöönä, sůggëstïvë cöntënt, 18+ cöntënt.

note. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! I’m getting old but send in asks? SHARE FEEDBACK AND ENJOY. *not edited*

Even just looking at him makes you feel calm.

You’re not sure about how you got so lucky to stumble upon jungkook three years ago, but you are so glad that you found him, maybe it was destiny.

Maybe it was destiny’s plan to bring you two together, maybe it was your destiny’s way to make up for all the bad things that happened in your life by bringing Jungkook in your life.

And he is the best thing in your life.

Sometimes you cannot believe that he’s yours and that he loves you so much. The question often lingers in your mind that why does he love you so much? What is it that makes him so crazy about you? Why is he so obsessed with you?

And when you ask him that question you only get one answer.

“because I was made to love you.” he says it without hesitation every single time, His brown bambi eyes full of love, and honesty.

The way he looks at you every time every single day it makes your heart clench in your chest, how can someone love you this much?

His love for you has you addicted. You don’t think you can live without his love anymore, you need his attention you crave it every single moment of the day.

He’s got you, so used to this.

He Is standing with you watching the neighbors as they move in, the wind is so clear, hitting your face, he is holding your hand, so tightly so focused on that woman who carries those boxes.

You’re focused on him instead gazing at him, his innocence, is the best thing about him, the way he gets so curious about the littlest things it makes you so happy, he’s like a child almost in an adult body.

“Noona, do you think I should help that girl carry the boxes? I mean it would be kind of me don’t you think? And they’re our neighbors, so maybe I should go and help her?”

That pulls you out of your thoughts, you process his words, and it almost makes you annoyed. “but why Baby? I think that elderly man is enough and I don’t think you need to go and help her.”

Sometimes it makes you angry too that how kind he can be and how naïve he is, He makes you feel so territorial, you’re so possessive about him it scares you.

As you gaze up forward to see the woman you take your time to notice her appearance, she looks pretty young, that blonde hair, and those green eyes.. you are pretty sure they’re green, her nose is almost perfect, and her lips look pretty.

You don’t like that. Insecurity immediately bubbles up in your chest. You sigh as you looked at her. Jungkook hums an okay and shrugs.

“come on baby let’s go inside I don’t like the weather anymore.”

it’s been a few days since your neighbors have moved in, you see the pretty girl, occasionally when you go out for work, it is ridiculous how pretty she is, she manages to look flawless, even at 7 AM in the morning.

You notice everything about her.

And you’re pretty sure that Jungkook does too.

And now you’re sitting at home, exhausted and insecure.

“Noona, why are you so quiet today? I missed you so much and you just came home showered and now you’re just sitting so quietly you didn’t even kiss me today… did I do something wrong?”

you blink twice as you see him stare at you with a gloomy expression and pouty lips.

“Tell me kookie.” You clear your throat. Crossing your arms on your chest you look at him with a serious expression, and he nods eagerly.

“Ask me anything I’ll tell you anything just talk to me.” He looks at you so desperately, his lips are quivering, “fine.”

“do you find her attractive?”

You don’t even know why you asked him this question,

but it was eating you up inside she’s way more beautiful than you can ever be. You’re also getting older. You don’t even feel like celebrating your birthday anymore

You’ve become so insecure in the span of three years, ever since he came into your life. He’s so beautiful, so handsome and so young.

What is he doing here with you?

Are you holding him back?

“I mean, she’s your age she’s beautiful she seems happy too… she is perfect. Do you like her?”

You stand up, suddenly, and look at him, borrowing your eyes into his. Your bunny boy stares up at you with his eyes completely caught off guard, his mouth is wide, with shock in his eyes, they get glossy

“Tell me Jungkook. Is noona not enough for you anymore?” Your heart feels like it will sink. You feel sick. The insides of your stomach are doing flips you’re not sure if you want to hear the answer what if he says yes he is tired of you?

What if he says yes, that he wants to be with her or he finds her attractive? The silence is eating you up yet you are not ready to hear his answer.

God you feel sick.

The jealousy is eating you from the inside, you haven’t felt hungry in so many days you can’t sleep because whenever you try to sleep the thought of him with her together fuck with your mind..

And she visits your house often, always smiling with her perfect teeth sometimes bringing cookies or pies, and he opens the door every time, smiling back at her, accepting her treats.

“N-Noona w-what are you even- shhh.”

You silence him before he can complete his sentence. You stalk closer to him, your head hurts from all the thinking you’ve been doing these past days.

You cannot lose him.

No you can’t.

“I love you so much koo. I really do.” You stop, he listens to you carefully, his brown eyes surprised but he doesn��t interrupt you, “I love you so much.” You let the tears fall, your voice shakes.

These emotions are so intense.

“Y-You love noona too right? You’ll never leave me right?” You kneel down on your knees, he’s sitting on the couch, frozen, his eyes fixed on you.

You grab his thighs, your nails dig into his jeans. “Tell me now Jungkook!” He doesn’t speak; it is driving you insane.

He’s so stupid!

“Too bad, even if you will, you can’t leave me Jungkook.”

You start laughing, something switches inside you.

You take your hands off him, “I’ll lock you up.”

Jungkook stands up and leans down so he can sit down infront of you.

“Really? What are you gonna do? Tell me noona.”

Your laughter stops.

You bite the inside of your cheek, you’re so confused right now, he’s breaking your heart.

“Tell me what are you going to do to me?”

“YOU ARE MINE. I’ll lock you up and never let you go.”

“You were actually right Jungkook. You were made to love me. Only me..” he listens to you so intently, you can hear how his panicked breathing matches with yours, none of you speak another word.

He closes the distance between you, you can feel his breath on your face and the rapid heartbeat, it’s synchronized.

“tell me that you love me please I need to hear it… please baby…” you beg him, your emotions are a mess. You’re not sure if this is because of lack of sleep or your insecurities

Jungkook looks at you with a weird dark hue in his eyes, his lips are pressed together in a thin line, it is frustrating you to know, and that he’s refusing to say anything.

It feels like years, and it’s been only a few seconds. His silence is like torture to you.

You start crying once again, are your hands cover your face and you let it all out.

And that is, until he finally says it.

“oh, I love you so much, noona, fuck… I love you so much.”

Before you can even look at him, he grabs your face and pulls it even closer to his, he takes one of your hands in his hand and guides it towards his crotch.

“Look at what you’ve done to me.”

He presses your hands onto his crotch and you feel his hardness against your hand.

“You’ve no idea how hot you sounded going all crazy… all for me, noona… fuck.. wish I could relive it over and over again..”

“But you have no reason to be insecure, because this heart beats only for you. Like I’ve said before, I was only made to love you.”

Jungkook presses his lips on yours, taking your breath away with how passionate it is, “my noona, my pretty noona.”

You kiss him back immediately and climb up on his lap, he shakes his hands around your body and you feel him shake.

“I love you so much… I love you alot.” He mumbles between your kiss, your fingers play with his hair as he unbottons your shirt impatiently.

“We’re each others forever, mark me noona, so no one can even think of me, without you.” It feels so good to kiss him, to be his embrace.

To hear him confess his undying love for you.

“I just wanted to hear hor much you loved me noona, she cannot ever take your place.. I don’t even remember her name.. I only remember you.”

“We’ll be lovers forever.”

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Falling for you

Summary: When you decided to bring your daughter to Colombia to work for the CIA to take Pablo Escobar down, you never thought you would find someone to fall in love with....

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem. reader

Wordcount: 6.2k

Rating: E

Warnings: colleagues to friends to lovers, reader has a daughter, mentions of dead husband, death of best friend, angst, fluff, domestic Javi, kissing, smut (unprotected sex), feeeeeelings

A/N: This fic has been in the making for almost 2 years. I can't really explain why, but it took a long time and before I keep on editing it, I put it out in the world. I'm aware the last thing the CIA would do is send a single mother with her child to Columbia in the eighties but this is fiction and I don't want to hear complaints lol Also please let me know how you like the mood boards this year. I'm trying to change things up

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“He’s starring again.” You looked up from the file you were reading, looking at your partner Enrique before you let your eyes wander to the desk across the room. You had been here in Colombia for a good three months now. It might have been the worst idea you ever had to take your daughter with you to one of the most dangerous countries in the world, but it was not like something was holding you back in the states. 

You were used to the looks of all the men who thought they were more important than you. 

More intelligent than you.

The whispers behind your back. 

The catcalls. 

How they always tried to talk over you. But they didn’t know what you knew. They didn’t know the resources you had. Working as one of the few women at the CIA as an active agent took a lot from you. But you did it for the greater good. You did not talk to many of the men working in your department. Except for your partner Enrique and your supervisor. You and Enrique had been working together back in the states and him coming with you was one of the conditions you had before you agreed to go. You needed someone you could trust if you would work here to help to take down the biggest drug cartel in the world. You needed someone you could trust your daughter with, apart from the two nannies the CIA was providing all around the clock. 

Of course the safer and easier way would have been to stay back in the states. Where your daughter could play outside without being watched by at least one CIA Agent. But ever since your husband died almost four years ago on a mission, you had been searching for the change you needed in your life. And against all better judgement you found yourself agreeing to go and take your six year old daughter Eva with you to Colombia. Was it crazy? Obviously. Did it still feel like the right decision? Absolutely.

Javier Peña was looking at you, a cigarette between his lips. The first three buttons of his baby blue shirt were open and his finger kept rubbing over the side of his face. You nodded at him before you focused back on the files in front of you.

“Do you think he would still look at you like that if he knew about Eva?” Enrique whispered. You rolled your eyes. 

“He can look at me all he wants. I know how good I look today,” you chuckled and made him laugh. You were wearing a white silk blouse and dark red dress pants.

You did enjoy flirting with Javier Peña. 

He and his partner Steve were the only ones around here who actually talked to you. And in Javier’s case, try to get into your pants. And a part of you did enjoy the attention you got for him.

No one had looked at you like he did since your late husband. 

And even though you knew it was dangerous to entertain his flirtations, you found yourself doing it. You found yourself thinking about him more often, even though you knew that nothing would ever come out of it. He was, well, he was Javier Peña. Fucking everything that just looked his way and you were a widowed single mom. 

Of course you did enjoy it when he invited you for a drink after work at the bar around the corner. Who wouldn’t enjoy being invited for a drink by a handsome man? The problem you had was that he knew exactly how handsome he was and he knew how to use it. Because deep down, in the moments Javier Peña was just himself and not the guarded DEA Agent with commitment issues, you could see him as a man you could fall in love with.

“Why did we end up in this shithole again?” Enrique asked. You were about to answer when Carillo came back in, shouting in Spanish and everyone around got up and moved.

“What’s happening?” You asked, internally cursing yourself for not knowing more Spanish.

“Something about La Quico and a brothel?” 

There was something about La Quico and a brothel and you knew from the moment you heard about the intel and the plan that it would go to shit. Now, as you were standing outside, bulletproof vest still on, watching how body after body was carried out of the building, you kept shaking your head. 

If any of these fuckers would have just listened to you. 

Woman after woman was carried out. Dead. But your knees almost gave out when you saw your partner's lifeless body being carried out. Hugging yourself, you looked away from him and up to the sky to stop yourself from crying, They did not need to see you crying. You would wait to break down until you were home and after your daughter was tucked it.

You felt someone stand next to you.

“I’m sorry,” Javier said and you breathed in deeply, not looking away from the sky.

“It’s not your fault,” you answered quietly. Because it wasn’t. Javier actually had been more than vocal about what a shit idea this was in the first place.

“I’m still sorry,” you smelled the smoke he breathed out and you finally looked at him. He looked as tired as you felt. You reached for the cigarette between his lips inhaling the smoke yourself, before you handed it back to him. Steve came to stand beside him, the same tired expression on his face.

“I think we could all use a drink,” he said and you sighed.

“He’s been my partner for more than 8 years. And my friend for almost 20,” you shook your head, looking at Steve before your eyes fell back on Javier.

“I really wanna go home.” 

“We’ll take you.” Steve said.

You could still see the lights on in your daughters room and you sighed. You weren’t ready to tell her that her Uncle Ric wouldn’t be helping her with her Spanish skills anymore, that he wouldn’t help her paint her bedroom after he made the big plan for her to get her jungle book room.

“I’ll walk you in,” Javier said as the car stopped. You only nodded, saying your thanks to Steve as you stepped out and walked across the street. 

“Are you okay on your own tonight?” He asked, as you opened the door to the house, walking in. Javier kept following you.

“I’m not alone, and I am planning on getting drunk and then cry myself to sleep. It’s Saturday tomorrow right?” You asked and he nodded. 

“I guess I’ll see you on Monday,” Javier said quietly. You felt the tears in the corner of your eyes and you prayed he would just turn around and leave. You just nodded, your lips already trembling. The reality of how alone you felt hit you like a brick as you looked at the apartment door across from yours, where Enrique lived… used to live. 

“Please go Javier. I don’t need you to see me breaking down,” you pleaded and turned away from him, putting the key into the lock of your apartment.

He sighed before he said your name. You felt his hand on your shoulder and against your better judgement you turned around and let him pull you against him, as you sobbed into his shirt.

You blamed it on the loss of your best friend, the need to feel something, that you just leaned in, your ear on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as his hands rubbed soothingly over your back.

“You are going to get through this,” he whispered. You enjoyed this moment. Standing outside of your apartment in his arms. He wasn’t being a flirt. He was just there to comfort you. You breathed in deeply, his scent in your nose and you had never noticed just how good he smelled.

“Thank you Javier,” you whispered and brought some distance in between you. Looking up into his tired eyes, the hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at you, you were more than grateful when you heard footsteps behind your door. Untangling yourself from him you brushed your tears away and put a smile on your lips just in time before the door opened. Eva jumped into your arms as you turned around.

“I missed you Mommy!” She giggled and you felt yourself smile as you picked her up and carried her in your arms.

“I missed you too, princess,” you whispered into her hair, before you set her down.

Looking up you saw Maria standing there with a tired smile on her lips. 

“I tried everything Miss, but she wanted to wait until you’re home.” 

“It’s okay. Thank you,” you nodded at her. She looked behind you and you followed her gaze, finding Javier standing in your door as if he was out of place. Maria nodded at him as she said her goodbyes. He stepped out of her way as she left.

“Either in or out Pena,” you said. He looked at you, about to open his mouth when Eva came back with a painting she had made today.

“Who is that?” She asked looking at Javier.

“That is one of the Agents I’m working with,” you explained nodding at him. He still looked between you and Eva like a fish out of the water before he shook out of it.

“I’m Javi. And I should go before my partner drives off without me,” he said the last words looking at you. You nodded.

“Bye Javi. Thanks for bringing my mom home safe,” Eva smiled, and you sighed.

“Go brush your teeth, I’ll tuck you in in just a moment, okay?” You smiled down at her, your hands brushing over her cheek before you leaned down to kiss her forehead. She nodded, waving towards Javier and left the room to go to the bathroom.

“She’s a…” Javier began.

“Yeah,” you nodded, walking towards him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.

“You never asked,” you shrugged. He nodded. You could see the many questions he had in his eyes. 

“Will the two of you be okay here tonight? Alone?”

“We will. Thank you. And now go, before Steve actually drives off without you,“ you smiled forced.

“Okay. I’ll see you on Monday?” He asked, sucking his bottom lip in. You nodded.

“Good night Javier,” He nodded too and turned around, slowly walking down the hallway.

“It’s Javi,” he called over his shoulder and you frowned.

“Friends get to call me Javi,” he looked at you. You had to smile at that before you finally closed the door behind you.

Within two weeks after this day, everything had changed. You moved into the same building as Javi and Steve, after a brief visit to the states for Enrique’s funeral. You actually found a close friend in Steve’s wife Connie. But most of all the absence of your best friend had been hard on you. 

You never actually told him how grateful you were for his help. And for coming to this country with you, just because you felt the need to change your life. You spend the nights crying yourself to sleep, feeling responsible for his death. If he hadn’t agreed to come down to Colombia with you, he would still be alive. 

And you wouldn’t have to look into your daughters sad eyes when she remembered that Uncle Ric wouldn’t come around to cook her favourite meal. You never learned the secret on what exactly Enrique did with the mac & cheese that made her go absolutely nuts, and now you wouldn’t have a chance to. 

Work had been one big mess ever since the fail at the brothel. And it took all willpower you had to not go around and tell everyone “I told you so”. You also had a new partner. Well, two. Steve and Javier insisted on you joining them. Not that you had a chance when you came back on Monday morning and your desk was standing a joined to theirs. You had spend the whole weekend crying when you weren’t around Eva and this had almost made you tear up again.

Javier had almost entirely stopped flirting with you, which was the biggest change. He had actually been nothing but nice and respectful and you were wondering what it was that made him like this. Not that you minded. 

He made the effort to get to know you, asking little question here and there. Asking about Eva and what her hobbies were. 

You were fascinated by this side of Javi you got to know now. 

But somehow you missed the way he used to look at you. 

“What are you doing this weekend?” Steve asked, as you were sitting over another file of leads going nowhere.

“We wanted to paint Eva’s room. She chose green. And I absolutely hate it,” you chuckled.

“How come you never told anyone you had a kid?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

“No one ever asked,” You shrugged. 

“People don’t really talk to me because I'm CIA and I'm a woman. And I don’t speak more than 10 words of Spanish.”

“Yikes, we really are assholes,” Steve shook his head and you laughed.

“Well… You’re not that bad. And you have a wife that bakes cake, so you’re on my good side,” you joked and Steve chuckled. 

“But what is going on with Javier lately?”

“So you noticed it too? I kept asking him but he just shrugged it off.” 

“Maybe he needs to get laid,” you shrugged and Steve grinned.

“You offering?” You heard Javier’s voice behind you and you glared at Steve who tried not to laugh. Turning in your seat you looked up at the man in question. He grinned down at you.

“What if I told you I'm a lesbian?”

“That would only make it hotter,” he winked. You turned in your seat looking at Steve. “Okay I think he’s back.” You chuckled.

“If you need any help, just say the word,” Steve said as you walked down the hallway. It was Friday and you had just come home. One of the perks of living together with Javi and Steve was that you could use one car to get to work. 

“Will do, thanks!” You smiled. 

“Help with what?” Javi asked, standing next to you. You were now occupying the apartment across from him.

“I want to paint Eva’s room tomorrow. And let’s just say it’s not my biggest talent. Enrique used to do things like that. He actually planned the whole thing,” you smiled sadly looking at the floor before you breathed in deeply and looked at Javi. He had a strange expression on his face.

“What about I’ll come help and you cook that thing you have been cooking last weekend?” he rubbed his moustache.

“You can come over for some food without working, Javi,” you said right away. 

“You tell me that now? What is it you cooked there last week?”

“I’m trying to figure out how Enrique made his mac & cheese cause Eva loved it so much.” You said quietly. You could hear her laughter behind the door.

“Sorry. I… Fuck. I keep reminding you of his death,” Javier shook his head.

“You’ve been a big help. I mean it. And if you want to spend your Saturday painting my daughter's room, you are welcome to do it,” you shrugged. He smiled a little.

“Okay. See you tomorrow then.” 

One thing you noticed since moving was that Javier was a night owl. Of course you knew about his reputation but you didn’t judge him. He was an attractive man. If you were him you would use that to your advantage too. When Eva was in bed, and you were sitting in yours, a glass of wine in hand as you continued to work on files it was more than once that you heard just how much of a night owl Javier was. Either his women were very good actors or he really knew what he was doing.  

“Mommy?” You heard the sleepy voice of your daughter and looked up from your book. She was standing in your door, her hair a wild mess. You looked at the clock. Nearly 1 am.

“Bad dream?” You asked. You saw her nod.

“Come here,” you smiled.

She climbed under your covers, snuggling to your side as you closed your book, setting it down on the bedside table. 

“Wanna talk about it?” you asked softly, stroking away her hair so you could look at her. She shook her head. 

“Okay,” you kissed her head.

It was a couple minutes later, you thought she was already asleep when she mumbled. 

“You are not gonna leave me too mommy, right?” she whispered. 

You gulped, pulling her closer towards you. 

“I’m never gonna leave you baby,” you promised, your heart breaking. 

She nodded. 

“I miss Uncle Ric,” she said. You fought the tears. 

“I miss him too,” you whispered. 

You didn’t know how long you laid in bed, watching your daughter fall asleep. You had questioned coming to Colombia from the beginning. 

You had been looking to change jobs for a while, and the job in Colombia was the only job the CIA had offered to various agents who had all declined it. Now that you were living here, you knew why. 

It was beyond dangerous to take your daughter to this country. The CIA took your safety serious, which could have to do with how your late husbands death, which happened on a mission the CIA fucked up. 

You could have asked the CIA for everything and they probably would have given it to you, just to keep you quiet. And maybe you should just have taken the money they offered you, buy a house on the beach, settle down with your daughter somewhere safe. 

But there was always a little part of you brain that wanted to…. Avenge the death of your husband who had died because he found himself in the middle of a cartel deal gone wrong in Mexico. 

You looked at your daughter, hoping that your selfish decision would not cost her more of her family in the future, before you let yourself finally drift of to sleep. 

There was a knock on the door just as you finished washing the dishes from breakfast. Eva was wearing a bright blue kids overall you had bought while getting supplies to paint, running past you to the door before she stopped and turned around. 

„Can I open Mommy?“ She asked. 

„You gotta ask whose there first,“ you remind her and she nodded.

„WHO’S THERE?“ She yelled loudly through the door and you chuckled. 

„Uh…. Javi?“ The man behind the door said, sounding it like a question. Eva looked at you and you nodded at her and she unlocked the door and opened it. 

Javi looked at Eva then at you before he stepped into your apartment. 

„Next time we need the codeword from you Javi,“ Eva said and he nodded seriously. 

„What is the codeword?“

„Pancakes,“ she whispered loudly.

„Good morning,“ he said a little awkward. Eva threw the door closed behind him, before she ran back towards her room. 

You shook your head amused.

„Good Morning Javi. Ready to spend time with a six year old girl who is obsessed with the jungle book?“ You asked, drying your hands, before you turned around to him. 

He was wearing some older looking jeans and a white, very tight, T-Shirt. 

„I have you know I have a lot of younger cousins. I think I can handle one girl,“ he said over confident and you nodded. 

„We will see,“ you said, a smile playing around your lips before you nodded with your head towards your daughters bedroom.

You stopped counting after the tenth time Eva insisted on replaying The Bare Necessities. It was a surprisingly fun day. 

You had to admit that you had underestimated Javier Peña.

You knew he was good at his job, but you didn’t know he was good with children. He explained every step he made to paint the walls to Eva and praised her when she began to paint herself. And he listened to every story your daughter told him. Never annoyed with her, always asking follow up questions. 

And once she brought out her little recorder and played the jungle book tape you even noticed him humming along to the song, making you smile as you watched them both together. 

They had both threw you out of her room so you could make dinner, leaving Javi and Eva to rearrange her room now that it was finished painting. 

You could hear them laugh and you found yourself smiling to yourself. You missed the sound of her laughter ever since Enrique died. 

You had put the Mac & cheese into the oven when Javier walked into your kitchen. 

He had paint all over his arms, his shirt too. There was a smile on his lips and you found yourself smiling back. 

„Enough Jungle book?“ You asked and he huffed a laugh. 

„For now. She’s rearranging her stuffed animals on her bed,“ he said, leaning with his hip at the kitchen counter, watching you. 

„Oh good. This will take her at least an hour. She’s a little perfectionist,“ you said. 

„That’s… That’s good…“ Javi hummed and you frowned, turning towards him. He had a hand on his hip, his other hand pulling at his lip as he looked at you. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

He seemed… nervous. His eyes focused on you, seemingly fighting with himself about something. 

„Javi…“ you started but he stepped towards you, one of his hands coming up to touch your cheek, his thumb brushing over your lips. Your breath hitched and you looked at him with wide eyes, your lips slightly parted. 

You were nervous, but not in a bad way. It was more… anticipation of what would happen next. 

„Can I kiss you?“ He asked. Instead of answering you nodded slowly, seeing him smile before he leaned in and kissed you softly. Your eyes slipped close and his lips found yours. You felt his other hand come to rest on the back of your head, and he slowly guided you so your back was against the counter as he slowly deepened the kiss. His tongue brushing over your lips until you parted them for him, sighing against his mouth. You rested one of your hands on his chest, your other hand in his hair as he moved his lips over yours. 

He rested his forehead against yours as he parted form your lips, both of you panting for air. 

„Wow,“ you whispered, opening your eyes. He was smiling at you. 

„Yeah,“ he whispered, kissing you again. 

You both jumped apart when you heard Eva call for you. You felt like a teenager who got caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing when you looked at Javi. You both chuckled at each other and you took a deep breath. 

„I should check on her,“ you said. He nodded. 

„Go. I’ll keep an eye on dinner,“ he said. You ran a hand through your hair, before you turned around, seeing Javi adjust himself out of the corner of your eyes. 

Date Nights were not something you ever had before. Yes you went on dates when you were married, but there was never a big fuss about it. 

Javier on the other hand, had taken you out every Friday night since you kissed. And it didn’t matter that you couldn’t openly date, not just because of work, but because the cartels had eyes everywhere, you were just happy to bet able to spend time with him outside of work.

Steve and Connie were happy to watch Eva for the evening, happy to have someone to play with their recently adopted daughter Olivia. You had been there in the house when Olivia was found. The scene still haunting your dreams. 

Javier and you remained strictly professional at work. Of course there was talk about how Javier hadn’t been to a brothels in some time, but no one ever dared to ask, because he still got his intel from the girls. 

You weren’t officially dating, but the both of you spend almost all your free time together. Things had become so domestic that even Eva seemed to realise things were changing. Not that you were hiding it from her. Javier had started to hang out at your place some more. Dinner for the three of you becoming a almost daily fixture whenever Javi was around and not working. 

There were secret touches around Eva at the beginning until she caught Javier kissing you goodbye one night. She had a million questions for the both of you, and you had to give it to Javi, he answered every single one of them until Eva was satisfied, allowing him to date her mommy which you found beyond adorable. 

You could never even entertain the thought of dating someone your daughter didn’t like. 

That your daughter approved of this new man in your life made the change that was coming even harder. 

Things in Colombia were getting more and more dangerous, leaving you to make the difficult decision to go back to the states. You had put in a request to get relocated which had been approved the week before. 

You and Eva would be going back tomorrow leaving you to have to start over again. It had actually been Javier who had brought his concerns in the first place about you and your daughters safety up. You knew that coming to Colombia as a woman working for the CIA would put a target on your back. But the cruelty of the cartels and above all Pablo Escobar were at an all time high and to hard to ignore much longer. 

So this Friday night would be your last date night with Javier for a while. He had taken you out to your favourite restaurant and held your hand all night, proud to show you off now that the both of you did not have to hide anymore. 

It was the first time he kissed you in a crowded room, unafraid of who was watching. Because he knew you would be safe and out of the country in less than 15 hours. 

And while the two of you had kissed for the first time almost three months before, you did not have sex yet. 

Something you meant to change tonight. 

You unlocked the door to your apartment, inviting him in. He had helped you put your whole life in boxes, promising to oversee them being shipped off to your new home. 

„You gonna tell me where you going yet?“ He asked as you made the both of you a drink. You bit your bottom lip as you turned around, handing him the glass. 

He knew you were going to Texas, he just didn’t know where. 

Javier took a sip while you took one too before you set the glass down on the kitchen table. 

„Laredo,“ you said and his eyes widened. 

„I’m transferring to the DEA in Laredo, Texas,“ you added, waiting for his reaction. You never really talked about the future. But Javier was a man you could see yourself growing old with. You knew he had his own demons, thinking he did not deserve to be loved. 

He had told you that he wanted to work on himself once he was finished with Colombia. 

„Say that again,“ he asked you. He was looking at you with warm eyes, a smile forming on his lips. 

„Eva and me will be moving to Laredo, Texas,“ you said, smiling yourself. 

„Where?“ He asked.

„I found a house. But it needs some work. So I talked to your Dad the last time he called to ask for some help to find a contractor and he offered us his guest room,“ you said shyly. Javi laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

He sat the glass down and walked to you, his hands crossing on your lower back, his chest against yours. 

„You did this all behind my back?“ He asked. You nodded. 

„Surprise?“ You asked and he kissed you. 

„You gonna be on our farm?“

„Eva is already looking forward to learn how to ride a horse,“ you nodded. 

„Fuck, she’s gonna have my Dad wrapped around her little finger in no time,“ he chuckled.

„Just like she has you?“ You asked and cried out in laughter as he dinged his fingers into your side, making you giggle. 

„Rude,“ he said. 

„But true,“ you shrugged and he kissed you again. 

„I’m not complaining,“ he mumbled against your lips. You sighed as his lips slowly kissed down your jaw and then your neck. 

„Javi,“ you gasped and he hummed against your skin. 

„Please take me to bed,“ you whispered and he looked up at you. 

„Are you asking me…“

„Yeah…“ you nodded, both of your hands resting against his chest. He took a deep breath. 

„I need words,“ he clarified and you got on your tiptoes. 

„I wanna have sex with you Javier,“ you whispered against his ear.

He took his time undressing you, once you made it to your bedroom. His lips following a path of every inch of skin he revealed. When you were standing in just your underwear in front of him before he kissed you, mumbling against your lips how beautiful you were, before he helped you strip him off his clothes. 

You gulped when you saw his cock for the first time, not really surprised at the lack of underwear on his side. Biting your lip you looked up at him, seeing him wink at you before he kissed you again. 

He laid you down on your bed, his lips never leaving yours. 

You moaned when you felt his weight on top of you, his arms resting next to your head to keep him hovering above you. You felt him rub against you, his cock rubbing against your stomach, making you both groan. 

He slowly kissed down your body. 

Your neck.

Your collarbone. 

Right between your breasts. He looked up at you then a question in his eyes. You arched your back and he smiled as he reached around and unhooked your bra, slowly pulling it down your shoulders until he could pull it off. 

„Beautiful,“ he hummed, his lips kissing the top of each breast before he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimpered, your back arching again, your hands playing with his hair to keep him close. 

He moaned against your skin, his tongue playing with your now hard nipple inside his mouth. 

„Javi,“ you moaned softly and  he released your nipple. 

„Prettiest tits I’ve ever seen,“ he grinned and you felt yourself flush, giving him a shy smile. 

„I wanna taste you,“ he said, kissing your other breast. 

„Mhhh,“ you hummed.

His lips wandered down your body, his tongue dipping into your belly button with a grin before he kissed right above your panty line. 

You released a shaky breath and he smiled at you. 

„Can I take this off?“ He asked. You nodded, biting your lip. His fingers slipped under the fabric of your panties and he kneeled between your legs pulling them down. Both of his hand ran up your thigh as he leaned back down, his face resting just above your pussy. 

„You’re so wet,“ he said in wonder and you smiled. 

„Just for you.“

He hummed before his face lowered and his lips kissed just above your clit. He inhaled deeply, releasing a groan. 

„Gonna miss this when you’re gone,“ he whispered and you sighed. 

„Guess you have to come home to me quickly then,“ you said and he smiled as he looked up at you. 

„I like the sound of that,“ he said.

„What?“ You asked. 

„Coming home to you,“ he whispered before he licked into you. You grabbed the bedsheet beneath you as he began to eat you out, parting your legs even further. His big hands kept you in place while he devoured you. His tongue playing with your clit before it dipped down and into you. 

„Javi please…“ you moaned.

„Please what?“ He asked.

„Make me cum?“ You begged and he chuckled. 

„Already begging for me….“ He teased and you lightly kicked him in his side, making him chuckle before he leaned back in, eating you out until you were moaning his name, your legs shaking in his hold. He kissed your pussy after you calmed down and have you a proud grin and he leaned back above you, his lips finding yours to give you a deep kiss where you could taste yourself. 

You angled one leg behind him, pushing him down against you. 

„Fuck me, Javi. I want you inside of me,“ you mumbled against his lips.

„Fuck,“ he cursed. He grabbed his cock, lining himself up against your pussy. 

You both moaned when he slowly sank into you. Inch by inch filling you smoothly until his whole cock was inside of you, filling you perfectly. His forehead came to rest against yours and you wiggled your hips, making him groan. 

„Fuck…. Please give me a moment…“ he groaned and you smiled, pecking his lips. He kissed you slow but deep. Licking into your mouth. 

You made out for a while before he slowly bottomed out and pushed back into you, keeping a slow pace. 

„Feels fucking perfect, baby,“ he moaned against your lips, fucking you deeply. 

You wrapped both of your legs around him, your hands on his back and in his hair. 

„Shit I’m not gonna last, feels so good, he groaned and you felt one of his hands slip between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. 

„I want you to cum with me,“ he said and began to circle your clit while he fucked faster into you. 

„Javi,“ you whimpered, arching your back. His head dipped down, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. He pulled your nipple between his teeth, pulling it playfully and your whole body shuddered as your orgasm washed over you, whimpering beneath him just as he twitched and came deep inside of you. 

You sighed, your fingers brushing through his hair as he kissed you, both of you smiling against each others lips. 

You stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each others embrace before he slowly pulled out of you, pecking your lips. He went to the bathroom to clean himself off, bringing a washcloth to clean you too. 

„I’m gonna get Eva from Steve and Connie’s,“ he mumbled against your lips and you nodded dreamily at him, watching him as he got dressed. 

You got into your bathrobe and walked out of your bedroom just as Javi walked back into your apartment, a sleeping Eva in his arms. 

Smiling at him you opened the door to her bedroom for him, watching him as he put her carefully into her bed. He had been doing this since the first date night, and it never ceased to amaze you just how perfect Javi fit into your life. 

He kissed her forehead before he walked towards you, taking your hand to lead you back into your bedroom. 

You knew you had to sleep but as you watched Javi strip out of his clothes and get into bed with you you were overcome with a sadness, knowing that his was the last time you would see him for a while. 

You laid in bed, facing each other. 

„I love you,“ you whispered, wanting him to hear the words before you leave. 

He gave you a soft smile before he slipped closer towards you, his nose brushing over yours. 

„I love you too,“ he whispered back and kissed you. 

Both of you finding close to no sleep until it was time to get ready to leave for the airport the next morning. 

„Bye Javi,“ Eva sobbed as Javi held her in his arms the next morning. She was clinging to him like a koala, clutching his shirt in her tiny fists. He was still holding your hand.

Javi had gotten breakfast while you got Eva ready before he drove you both to the airport.

You saw him take a shaky breath, kissing her hair. 

„I’m gonna miss you,“ she mumbled and you felt tears stinging in the corner of your eyes. 

„I’m gonna miss you and your mom too. So much,“ Javi whispered, pulling you closer. He let go of your hand to put his arm around you, pulling you into the hug. 

„You have to fight the bad guys. And then you can come live with us all the time,“ Eva mumbled and Javi looked at you. You gave him a watery smile.

„I’ll do my best. Be good for your mommy,“ he said and you saw her nod, before he slowly let her down. She hugged your side and you wrapped your arm around her. 

„Be safe,“ you whispered looking up at him. 

„I will,“ he promised before he kissed you softly. 

„I love you,“ you said and he smiled, a tear now running down his cheek. 

„I love you, too,“ he kissed you again.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Today I Do: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: Emily's past is coming at her like a freight train with no signs of slowing down, and it's getting harder to keep it from the team. You're getting suspicious not only for her but about your own troubles. Someone is trying to make it known that they're watching you.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If any warnings exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." - Sally Kempton

When you and Spencer walk into the briefing room, you notice Emily in there alone and on the phone. She only manages to get out a single name before noticing you and Spencer walk in.

"Lauren Reynolds is dead." She turns away from you and Spencer. "Just be careful and send Jeremy my love. Bye."

"Who's Lauren Reynolds?" Spencer asks.

"She was a friend of mine."

You frown and notice the way she tenses slightly at the name. Even if you didn't have your abilities, you can tell she's lying. You don't want to upset her and call her out in front of an audience so you keep your mouth shut, and she seems grateful for that.

"How did she die?" Spencer asks.

"Car accident."

"I'm really sorry."

Just then, the rest of the team files in.

"Good morning. Let's get started," Hotch says.

"Thank you all for coming," Penelope says, "and time is of the essence. Molly Grandin, twenty-five years old, has been missing for approximately twenty-four hours. Her car was found abandoned in a strip mall parking lot."

"Syracuse police chief just called me to tell me that four months ago, another woman named Gail Langston, also twenty-five, went missing," Hotch says.

"Yes. Gail's body washed up three days later in Onondaga Lake. She'd been held captive, her hands and feet smashed, and then she was stabbed to death. Her car was found in the same parking lot as Molly's."

"Other than abandoned cars, what makes them think it's the same offender?" Emily asks.

"Both women packed a bag with enough clothes and toiletries to last them for the weekend, and in both cases, the bags were found in the car along with their purses and cell phones."

"If the unsub is sticking to the same MO, then Molly only has thirty-six hours left."

"Let's go," Derek says.

"The plane awaits."

You want to ask Emily about Lauren but she's the first one out of the room. You have a feeling she did that to get away from you, and you sigh.

"Garcia still hasn't found any overlap between Molly and Gail's lives," Derek said once in the air.

"For two girls that didn't know each other, they had a lot in common," Ashley says.

"What's the first thing that jumps out at you?" Emily asks her.

"Their body types are both small, but it's not just physical. They both shy away from the camera and clearly don't enjoy being photographed. It seems like both are easily overpowered and controlled. At twenty-five, they'd be much older than most undergrads at Syracuse University."

"You know, their college transcripts are littered with incompletes and missed semesters," Spencer says as he reads into their backgrounds. "Both are from blue-collar backgrounds with no scholarship. It must be hard to keep up while working a full-time job."

"So, going to a private school could have been worth it for appearances' sake. If the unsub met them on campus, he could be another student."

"He may not be a student. He might be an employee like from the janitorial staff or security."

"Well, they both packed bags to go away with him for the weekend. That trip's romantic."

"Yeah, he's not just getting to know them, he's dating them," Derek says.

"Prentiss and Morgan, go to Molly's apartment. If she knew the abductor, there might be evidence there. Reid and Y/N, go to the dump site," Hotch says.

"Gail's body was found almost four months ago. Won't all the evidence be gone by now?" Ashley wonders.

"You can actually find out a lot about an unsub by where they choose to leave their victims."

"Plus, spiritual energies rarely ever go away. The dead leave behind so much, it's overwhelming at times," you say. The plane's phone rings and you answer Penelope's call. "What's up, Pen?"

"Syracuse Police Chief Barrows brought a suspect in for questioning five minutes ago. His name is Lyle Donaldson. Molly's ex-boyfriend."

Lyle owns a boat and fishes twice a month in the same area where Gail was found. He's also a student with her at SU, and he's known for his anger problems. He has three arrests for assault with two of them being that he beat Molly up.

It's unusual for serial killers to go after someone with such a strong connection to them, but the profile will be able to eliminate him if he's not the unsub.

You get to the place where Molly was dumped which is by a bridge overlooking a very small lake. You park off to the side and exit the car with Spencer who is holding Molly's file. You walk to the thick concrete railing of the bridge and stare at the place where Molly's body was found. She stands at the edge of the water just watching you. She walks into the water slowly until she disappears below the water's surface.

She doesn't come back up.

"You know, a body would be found here rather quickly, especially if it wasn't weighed down," Spencer says. "There was no postmortem damage from being tied to the weights. Everything else about Gail's capture was carefully planned. It seems unlikely this guy would just suddenly panic and lose control. He prioritizes control. I mean, Gail's body was beaten in a very specific way--a mallet to the hands and feet. Look at this. The stab wounds are parallel to each other."

Spencer shows you the wounds from the pictures in the file.

"They look more like puncture wounds," you say.

"The ME thinks it's a Phillips head screwdriver. Which means he uses tools instead of traditional weapons. The wounds definitely have a purpose."

"I don't think we're dealing with a man. I think the unsub is a woman."

"How do you know?"

"You mean besides the fact that it's a water burial and men don't do that? Apart from yours, I don't see a shred of male energy. Right where Molly was found, it's all blue which means it's a female."

"I agree. I mean, with the water burial."

You chuckle and take out your phone to call Emily. "Hey, Spence and I think we might be looking for a female offender."

"That explains why there was no sign of sexual assault. With an unsub this obsessed with control and power, it's usually part of the territory. It looks like there was a female living in the other bedroom of Molly's apartment."

"We'd have been told if she had a roommate."

"Yeah, so Molly must have wanted to keep it a secret for a reason. Whoever she was, she left recently and in a hurry. I'll put a canvas out now. Thanks, Y/N."

You and Spencer leave the bridge and head back to the police station at the same time Emily and Derek get back from Molly's apartment.

"So, neighbors did see a woman coming and going from Molly's apartment over the last few months, but nobody saw her close enough to get a sketch."

"No one met her?" Rossi asks.

"No. The best description we got was a white female, in her mid-twenties with light-brown hair, and plain."

"Molly never mentioned a roommate to her father or her coworkers. Lyle didn't know, either."

"Is he still here?"

"No. We couldn't charge him, so his lawyer walked him out."

"Alright, we need to start over and go back over both Gail and Molly's cases and look at everything from the perspective of a female unsub," you say.

"I'll bring in Gail's family and ask about the women in her life," Rossi says.

"Prentiss, you and Y/N go back over to Molly's apartment. Find out what else she's hiding."

You and Emily leave together and get to Molly's apartment within ten minutes. Her bedroom is pretty normal except for a bunch of different colored sticky notes with short quotes on them posted nearly everywhere.

"Looks like she was overdosing on daily affirmations."

"Yeah, saying you're happy isn't the same as being happy." Emily gets on her knees to look under the bed, and she produces a small white box. Inside is a book and lots of pills. "Oh. I think I found her dark secret." She stands and reads through the book. "This is a diet journal. Check with Garcia and see if her spending reflects a disorder."

You take out your phone and call Penelope, putting her on speakerphone so Emily can hear.

"Hey, how much money did Molly spend on food every week?"

"Let's see here. It looks like she spent thirty bucks a week at the grocery store. Thai food every Friday. Yikes, she is worse than me. $8.00 a day for coffee."

"What about a couple of months ago?"

"Oh, my. Back then the spending tells an entirely different story of the unhealthy sort. Lots of drugstore purchases and fast food places. Only a few dollars a week at the grocery then seventeen dollars at McDonald's."

"Binge night. Anything in the journal?"

"It's intense. She recorded not only what she put into her body but what came out. Calories expended during exercise, and she weighed her bowel movements."

"Anorexia and bulimia."

"The last entry is ten weeks before she disappeared. When did her spending change?" Emily asks.

"About three months ago. She got a membership at a yoga studio and stated paying for cooking classes."

"We need to find out if Gail had a similar pattern before she was killed."

"Rossi is speaking with her family right now." You hang up with Penelope and text Rossi one of the more famous affirmations in Molly's room: Today I do, tomorrow I will. You look at Emily and get flashes of her when you think of Lauren Reynolds. You know you shouldn't but you can't help but push this. "Look, Em, I know I said I wouldn't bring it up unless you did, but who is Lauren Reynolds?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business. I told you, a friend."

You chuckle but there is no humor behind it. "My best friend in high school called me the human lie detector. Can you guess why?"

"Look, I'm not doing this right now. I really do like you which is why I'm asking you to drop this. Please."

"Em, who are you afraid of?"

She doesn't answer. She just walks away from you. She doesn't say a word the entire ride back to the police station. Spencer is writing the affirmation on the whiteboard since Gail's family confirmed she used to say this all the time, too.

"You know, this phrase doesn't seem to have a particular source or author. It's found in pretty much every self-help book--I read twenty-two of them today--all touting the same basic three-part plan.

"Let me guess, phase one is positive thinking and visualizing goals?" you ask.

"That's to work up the courage to get to phase two which is taking real steps to achieve said goal. Gail committed to school and got grades like never before. Molly gave up her obsessive food journal and started eating better."

"It's hard to believe motivational sayings alone would allow them to make these types of strides."

"Maybe that's why the unsub moved in with them. She could offer support and encouragement day and night," you suggest. "She'd be around to watch Molly's diet or Gail's study habits. At first, her methods worked. She gets to be the hero, the savior."

"She's a pure narcissist, so helping her victims is only about gaining their appreciation and dependence. The more her victims gain confidence, the less they need a full-time cheerleader. That's when her motivational plan goes completely off the rails. Phase three is normally about maintaining the tenets of the program independently, but her program doesn't end. She holds them captive and destroys them physically."

"She's the motivational speaker from hell," Emily scoffs.

Since you know what type of person you're dealing with, Hotch calls for a profile with the Syracuse police department and Chief Barrows.

"We're looking for a white woman in her mid-twenties, most likely blue-collar and local to the Syracuse area. She probably has a job that puts her in the role of caretaker, such as a masseuse, a nail or hair stylist, or a personal trainer. Women feel comfortable opening up to her about their personal lives, revealing details about their insecurities that she later uses to manipulate them."

"Do you think she tries to pass herself off as a therapist or a counselor of some sort?" Chief Barrows asks.

"That's doubtful. Her narcissistic personality wouldn't allow her to listen to anything that didn't revolve around her for more than a few minutes at a time. It's hard to learn anything when you always need to be the expert. We don't think she's capable of getting a degree of any kind."

"Wouldn't she need some kind of certification for the jobs you're talking about?"

"She would, but she's a master manipulator. She probably talked her way into many jobs before they realized her credentials were fake, so check gyms, spas, salons, and yoga studios for employees fired in the last two years."

"We need to ID this woman as fast as possible if we want any chance of finding Molly alive."

x

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[chaptersleftunwritten]

Silver & blood taste the same…

Blurb: FBI special agent Amaranthine Delaware has a nose like a blood hound. She can sniff out crime wherever it may lurk, not even the shadows are safe. But what happens when a crazed killer is tearing through towns rampantly and she has no idea who they are and where they're going next?

Pairing: Bill Skarsgård x OC

Part 1 of ?

Warnings: Gore, blood, violent depictions, homicide, dub-con, somnophilia, sexual themes, sexual acts, swearing, mentions of torture, kidnapping, mentions of weaponry, mental health struggles, addiction (alcohol dependency and cocaine) and possibly more throughout. 18+. Read at your own discretion and risk. You have been warned.

-

October 17th, 2013

The killings started in the early fall here in Indigo Grove. It must have been around September time because all the kids were back in school and that's how our first Jane Doe was discovered. She had been left- no, she had been discarded, in an overgrown area of greenery near a family home. It was the youngest of the children who found her... now two lives are ruined.

I say 'it must have been around September time...' but I know that it was. I remember everything from that first day. Every smell, every sob, every single one of my hairs standing on end as I try not to dry heave onto the ground next to the poor girl laying there on the frozen earth. Her red eyes staring up at me forever piercing and tainting my soul.

I try not to panic at the coffee counter as the barista with smudged eyeliner blinks at me, evidently annoyed at my prolonged silence and stilled movement, "Sorry," I breathe, finally, "How much did you say that was?" she rolls her eyes as she glances back at the till.

"You owe 5.75 today, ma'am."

Ma'am? The word makes my head spin. Her and I are clearly close to being the same age and she is referring to me like I am some 30 year old woman. I would laugh if I weren't so tired.

I stuff my hand into my damp coat pocket and pull out my purse. Loose strands of my rain soaked hair stick to the side of my face. The purse is a faded shade of purple and the faux leather is of a smooth grain. It's about the only thing that has been with me through thick and thin.

I rummage through the compartments of the purse, my cold shaking fingers scraping together the last of the coins that I have. I count them out in my palm before quickly handing them to the cashier.

She looks down at the metal like it is a foreign form of currency before she as well briefly counts them, obviously not trusting my judgement. After slotting them into her till she rewards me with my morning beverage and sweet treat. Nothing better than sugar at 8 in the morning.

The lights in the café are dim as I enter further into the sea of tables, every person appears like a blurred silhouette- or maybe it is just the three glasses of wine from last night catching up to me. My patrol partner, Johnny Franklin, is sitting in a dark far away corner of the café at a small table for two. He is tucked against the wall, his coffee mug in one hand and his toasted sandwich in the other. He orders the same thing every day; Regular coffee with three spoonfuls of sugar and whole fat milk alongside a toasted cheese and tuna melt sandwich and a chocolate chip muffin for dessert.

Johnny is around the same age as my older sister Jocelyn, which I find great comfort in… maybe that’s why I enjoy having him around. He is also a creature of habit, making his days predictable. I always know where he is going to be and when he is going to be there. It’s why I stay so fond of him, he doesn’t surprise me.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” He grumbles lazily, bringing his coffee mug up to his thin pale lips to take a leisurely slurp as I take a seat across from him. A small stubbly beard has grown in on and around his mouth, I notice this as he says, “You seem as chirpy as ever today.” His hoarse voice is dripping with sarcasm and I pray that this won’t be the running theme of the day. Johnny talking nonsense and me with a pounding headache.

“Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system.” I wave my hand, almost dismissing him- or maybe I’m trying to swat him away like he is a fly. He is always getting all twisted up in other peoples shit.

“You look like shit, kid.” The now empty coffee mug comes down onto the cheap wooden table, a light clatter of the porcelain following close after, “I’m in two minds of even telling you what I got paged this mornin’…”

And there it is. That horrid feeling of dread, doubt, despair, anger, hurt, anxiety- my body knows what he is going to say before he has to say it. The way my stomach twists into painful tight knots and how my breath is now lodged, undoubtably stuck in my throat. The world around me pivots on a sideways axel and I’m struggling to make it stop.

“Tell me.” I am strangled as the words come out, almost too quiet for myself to hear. Do I want to know? Can I handle what Johnny is going to tell me? The answer is no, probably not. But this is the work, and I owe it to those girls to catch this sick fuck-

Johnny’s beady brown eyes examine my features. It takes him a moment but he sucks in a deep breath and I see his bushy eyebrows knit together, his mouth also downturning distastefully, “Another body was found early hours this mornin’, around 3am. She has thought to have been out there for at least two weeks they said.”

The sourness in my mouth intensifies. Two weeks… two whole weeks. Evidence could be lost, the crime scene tampered with, decomposition.. animals. The thought alone sickens me to my stomach. How could she have been missed for that long?

“Who found her?” I ask after a long pause, my mind is buzzing with fear. That’s the thing about this line of work, people expect you to have no feeling- but I feel everything.

Johnny takes a bite of his sandwich and grease pools at the corners of his mouth making me cringe. I want to scream at him for even being able to stomach anything after telling me that information. He chews for an agonisingly long time before he finally grumbles, “A trucker on the highway nearly swerved off the road- agents at the scene think she must have still been alive after the attack and tried to crawl to the nearest road to wave down some help but her wounds were fatal. She died as she reached the highway.” Another bite. Another bite of that disgusting fucking sandwich.

My nostrils flare as I suck in a deep aggravated breath, standing up from the table the chair legs scrape along the floor, the screech punctuates my exit and I am gone before Johnny even has the time to comprehend what’s happening.

Dark clouds swell the sky and the chilly air nips and whips at my cheeks. The rain conjures a hellish dance upon my head as it pelts from the heavens above, drenching my hair further. My chest rises and falls with every breath I struggle to pull into my lungs and I find myself thinking about him.

He keeps me awake every night. I dream about him, I write about him- I wonder, what does he eat? What does his morning routine look like? What does he hate? What does he look like? His eyes, his lips, his smile… is it nice? Is it a nice smile, a warm smile, a welcoming smile? What does he smell like?

He consumes my life, he controls my every thought.

I hate it. I hate him.

It feels personal. Every murder… every life that he takes. And I know that it shouldn’t, but it does.

It fucking does.

-

Blue lights flood my vision, captivating the world around me in an inescapable light. The light in which we should all feel safe in, but I don’t. I never have.

The yellow and black police tape is lifted for me as I enter through to the official crime scene. The highway has been closed off and traffic is being redirected elsewhere, creating this ungodly eerie silence. I want noise, I need the noise… it’s too quiet.

“Special agent Delaware, this is Milo Reed, our truck driver.” My supervisor, Harold Hawkins, approaches me from a nearby vehicle. The man stood to his left is as pale as chalk, his eyes wide and dark with purple circles cladding the skin beneath his sockets.

My steps are steady and slow as I inch closer to the pair, deciding it may not be best to go in for a handshake in this moment, “Milo, my name is Amaranthine and I’m the lead detective on this case. My partner will soon be here to take care of you.” My own voice echoes inside of my mind. I can’t imagine how this man may be feeling. All he manages to muster in response is a nod and then he is shuffling off in another direction, his actions meek and stilted.

My next walk feels like one to the gallows, but I find comfort in one thing. I know what his mark is, I know what he has left behind that’ll tie this girl to the last and to the one before her. The butterfly. He irons it into their skin. Always in a different area, but always just as deep and just as brutal. Taking something so beautiful and blackening it with evil…

That’s how he got his name from the media.

The butterfly killer.

It headlined in every newspaper a month back, and it still continues to steal the spotlight today. Front page, big and bold for all to see. I bet he is basking in the glory of all of this…

It makes my stomach churn.

As I advance further into the scene I spot an unmissable tanglement of red hair on the ground. The colour is admirable.. it is absolutely gorgeous. Or so I thought, that is until I realise that it’s not at all the colour of the victims hair- it is her blood.

I fight the urge to vomit, swallowing down whatever salvia I have in a desperate attempt to maintain my composure- especially in front of my male colleagues.

“Have you been briefed?” One of them ask and I nod my head, remaining silent, “It was him, she has been branded on her right shoulder. Her wounds, however, are of different technique. He was angrier this time and he used some sort of screwdriver.” His words are so cool it leaves my skin feeling icy cold, like the decaying corpse in front of us, “She has been photographed but with the recent weather conditions, evidence might be tricky to recover. We will be lucky if we identify any from her, never mind any from him.”

I can feel a slow build in my chest, a rising fire of complete rage. When will this end? Will he ever be satisfied? And will I ever catch him?

“Try your best.” I plea and my eyes flicker from the ground to the flashing lights that are now intensifying my headache and then back to the body. The attending agent has left my side and I struggle to grasp the reality of anything around me.

I crouch down to further investigate our victim. She tried to fight. She tried to flee- she wanted to live so desperately that she crawled 10 metres from her drop off point before her lungs finally filled with blood.

She died alone.

I watch as they carefully remove her body from the scene and into the back of an ambulance, taking her back to the lab where hopefully we will be able to identify her.

She will have a family somewhere, and they are waiting on her coming home.

-

“You can’t smoke in here!” I am four vodka cokes deep in the ‘Hell Gate’ bar just off of the highway and maybe I’m feeling brave and maybe the buzzing red lamp above my head has officially drove me insane but I have had my eyes on this delicious stranger since I arrived and I’ll be damned if I leave here without him. I know that he has noticed me and I know smoking indoors is illegal, and it has been for over 10 years, but there’s just something about watching him do it that makes my insides flutter.

The music in the bar is deafening but it’s pretty vacant of people, even the bartender keeps disappearing elsewhere. The man spares me a quick look, taking one long last drag of his cigarette before he is stumping it out into a nearby ashtray. His face slowly turns towards mine and just like that, he exhales the large cloud of cancerous smoke right into my face.

“What you gonna do about it?” His gravelly deep voice challenges me and my thighs clench together at the mere sight of him. Plump pink lips, stunning round eyes, a strong nose and not to mention the gorgeous brown hair. His tall frame slouched leisurely over the bar has my mind reeling with sin.

I just want to forget. Just for one night.

My front teeth toy with my bottom lip, nibbling on the cushiony skin as I try my hardest to force my drunken brain to think of a quip and sultry response but all I seem to muster is a pathetic, “Steal your lighter.”

He hadn’t noticed but around three seconds ago I had pinched his lighter from on top of the bar and secured in my pocket.

A smugness braces his face, pulling his lips up just ever so slightly at the corners, “What’s your name, angel?” I can tell that I’ve caught his attention by the way his body leans into mine and the total thirst that has consumed his eyes. He wants me.

“You first.” I counter, proud of my own confidence. It’s not every day I manage to pluck up the balls to talk to guys and I would like to thank my liquid courage for tonight. Wherever it may lead.

“Bill, but you can call me whatever you want.” I expect to see a hand stuck out in front of me, but I don’t. He keeps himself to himself, and I quietly admire that. It’s sort of gentlemanly…

I take a short but sweet sip of my drink, letting the alcohol sere my throat on the way down before I chirp, “Amaranthine, but my friends call me Amara.”

His eyebrows perk up momentarily on his forehead before they proceed to faintly knit together in what I assume is confusion, “Are we friends, Amaranthine?”

I bite rabidly at the inside of my cheek, pinching the flesh to stop a shit eating grin from taking over my entire face. There is a short pause as I pretend to think of an ‘honest’ answer, “We can be. If you wanna?” My blood feels hot as scolding iron as it flows through my body, flushing my face for a brief moment.

“Hmm,” Bill’s pink tongue darts from his mouth to swipe over his bottom lip, his teeth gentle nipping the skin, “I don’t know… what do your friends usually say about you?” He is closer to me now and I can feel my breathing start to become a bit ragged. It takes every ounce of restraint I have to not press my lips to his. They are all I can focus on. I wonder what he tastes like.

“My friends would tell you to run for the hills…” In order to regain composure I play with the metal lighter that belongs to him, flicking the cap and watching as the flame would erupt from within. On the side there is a word that is engraved… Love.

It takes mere seconds before Bill is pulling my wrist toward him with force, but not enough to hurt me, only enough to frighten me. And it does, and the gasp that leaves my mouth is borderline erotic and makes my cheeks fervent. He is gentle to take the lighter from my loose grip, placing it into his dark jean pocket and then returning his attention back to my face.

“I think this could work… this ‘friend’ thing.” His grip remains tight around my wrist, “Only thing is.. I don’t think friends fuck their friends, do they, Amara?” Somewhere along the way Bill has stood up from his barstool and he is now towering over me. He must be at least 6ft 2 and looking up at him from my seated position is making my mind spin uncontrollably. I thought I was attracted to him before but now… I want him to take me right here, right now in the middle of this dive bar.

“Friends sometimes do that.” I say meekly as I swallow thickly, all the saliva in my mouth has mysteriously disappeared and maybe it was the alcohol or maybe this is just what he does to me. The greed grows between my thighs and as I'm staring into his eyes I can see the hunger growing within him too- infatuation blowing his pupils to the size of bullet holes.

He yanks me to my feet, his face is uncompromising and I am on fire with anticipation, "Your place or mine?" His lips brush the shell of my ear and I feel electricity race down every vertebrae in my spine, making my legs unsteady. His voice is almost a moan and his tone is low and yet I am willing to totally submit to his every beckon and command.

"Mine..." I feel like I can't breathe, "I.. I don't have a ride." My quavering voice declares my evident embarrassment and Bill tucks some loose strands of my wind stricken hair behind my ear.

"It really is your lucky day." Bill winks at me, a semblance of a smile gently appearing onto his face and his long arm snakes around my waist, guiding me toward the bar exit.

"Oh- I haven't paid!" I exclaim in a state of panic.

"Shhh-" Fuck. His voice is like a lullaby, "I know the owner, don't stress." It was at that moment that I realised, in my inebriated state, that I would believe every word this man said.

-

Sober Amara would never have given her home address to a total stranger- but drunk and horny Amara just did. We are always warned as children- don’t speak to that strange looking man, don’t go near that lady, stay away from them and so on.. but if we lived up to those rules- to that fear, we would never live. We would be so alone..

I juggle my keys, struggling to control the adrenaline that is coursing through my veins, causing my hands to tremble. I manage to slot the key into the lock and jimmy it open- I really have to get that looked at.

I shoulder barge my way inside, losing my balance as I do and I expect to see the floor coming up to meet my face- but instead I feel Bill’s colossal hands gripping my waist firmly, holding me restrained in the air. Shock roots us both to the spot and I can feel something brewing rapidly between us.

My apartment is small, but it’s cozy and it’s home. I keep it clean for the most part, overall the only mess visible is the case files I’ve left on my desk and the map that’s strung up on my wall. To the average person, like Bill, I’ll probably look crazy. Luckily for me, that’s not where his attention is.

“I'm waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you.”

The door has been kicked shut and I can hear the rhythm of my own heart pounding in my ears. I’m starting to feel a bit lightheaded, like I am levitating above the ground. He knows just what to say, he knows how to look at me in just the right way to make my mind turn to mush- it’s almost like he knows me. Have we been here before?

“I’m gonna need your help to get my clothes off…” my hands dance up to behind his neck, cradling it gently whilst pulling him closer to me. My fingers card through his luscious dark hair, tugging the roots playfully which causes a groan to erupt from his lips.

Bill's large hands come to fondle with my chest, his fingers struggling with the buttons of my blouse. His breathing hitches and with a leap of faith and a lewd huff he rips the seams apart. My mouth falls agape as I watch the buttons fly across every square inch of the room. Some of them I'll never be able to find again...

His lips are on mine before I have time to form any sort of coherent thought and the warmth of his skin is enough to heat my entire body for days. My lips part, allowing his wet tongue to slip inside of my mouth and I moan out at the contact. He tastes like alcohol and cigarettes with the mildest touch of mint- just what I expected. Abruptly he pulls away and I whine with the need to have him near again, "I'm going to take good care of you, I promise. I just wanna enjoy the view. It's not everyday I get to fuck someone as pretty as you." His voice has dropped an octave or two lower and the simple task of breathing becomes obscenely hard in that moment and I battle the urge to pounce on top of him right there and then. He slides my ripped blouse down my arms, letting it fall to the hardwood floor below my feet. He steps further away, urging me with his eyes to continue undressing.

"You don't have to be gentle with me, I won't break..." I offer him a smirk and my feet move toward him with gentle strides and I notice Bill's eyes fluttering to and from my chest. My bra is boring but it's black- and black always leaves an impression no matter what it is. Plus, he seems to like the colour, considering he is dressed from head to toe in it, "You can do whatever you want with me."

The air vibrates between us, "What do you want to do to me, Bill?" My eyes flutter innocently up at his stocky frame and he pulls a quick breath into his lungs through his teeth.

"You want me to tell you, or do you want me to show you?" He is walking towards me now, an impure domineering twinkle gracing his eyes. He backs my steps up until I feel the wall crash into my spine and his long muscular arms cage me to the spot, "Are you afraid?" His face is craned down into my neck now, I can feel his breath on my skin and it settles just above my main artery that I can feel thumping.

I shake my head.

"You got any neck ties laying around here?" He asks and I nod in response.

"Top drawer, in the bedroom." I nod toward the dark hallway that connects my living room to all the other rooms in the house. He glances at it before allowing me to move from the wall, his hand slapping my ass hard.

"C'mon then, lets go get them." I giggle a bit as I run toward the bedroom, Bill following closely behind me, "And take the rest of those clothes off before I get there- or you'll regret it."

Excitement pricks at my heart and I assume he is talking about my suit pants and my shoes, and so I am happy to oblige as soon as I pass through the doorway into my bedroom. It's dark in there- pitch black, so I scramble around for the lamp on my bedside dresser, stumbling over clothes that have been left on the floor and more case files that really should be getting organised but aren't. My shoes are first to go, kicked beneath the bed and my pants are peeled down my legs. The rain had caught us on the way in so my skin is a bit damp and cold, making the fabric cling to my skin like it has been glued down.

I pull open my drawer, ignoring the vibrator that I usually hide in there I retrieve multiple neck ties- just in case he wants more than one and then I sit on the edge of the bed, watching the open door as Bill’s sturdy frame emerge's from the darkness of the hallway. Like a hunter stalking its prey.

"Are these okay?" I hold out the palms of my hands, the colourful neck ties splayed flat across them as I present them to Bill like a knight receiving his sword.

Bill's hands find his knees as he bends down to my line of vision, his face mere inches from mine, It’s almost mocking and I feel like I am about to get a telling off for bad behaviour, "I'm going to fucking ruin you, sweetie." His lips pinch his cheeks as he smirks devilishly, his hands pushing me harshly down onto the mattress- knocking the air out of my lungs.

“Wrists.” He demands and I clasp my hands together in the air without a second thought, my drunkenness blinding every ounce of my reasoning. Bill climbs on top of me, his knees at either side of my torso and he hovers there as he skilfully knots and binds my wrists tightly together. He has done this before...

“Please take your clothes off,” I beg, my voice coming out as a sweltering breathy pant and after he had finished securing my wrists to the bed frame he stands from the bed, my body moving with the shift in weight.

“You’re so polite, so fucking cute- you know what good girls get?” He perks an eyebrow, his hands gripping the hem of his black t-shirt as he pulls it up and over his head. The sight of his abdominal muscles tensing and contorting to the movement of his body has my mind sobering up slightly. I want that image permanently engraved in my mind, “They get anything that they want, sweet cheeks.”

He moves onto his jeans next and even just watching him unbuckle his leather belt has my pussy aching for more. I can’t stop admiring his body- he is so lean and strong, chiselled by the Greek gods themselves.

“Like what you see?” His voice takes the reins of every one of my thoughts and I nod my head, my thighs impatiently rubbing together desperate to get some sort of release, “Awww, is she pulsing?” Up until this moment I'd never been provided the chance to experiment this much in the bedroom, my one night stands were always so vanilla and borderline unsatisfactory- so to have my hands tied to the bed and someone as hot as Bill mocking my arousal... it's all so new. I love it.

"Touch me." It wasn't supposed to come out as a command, but it does and the dimple that screws itself into Bill's cheek leaves my wrists tensing against their restraints.

Bill's eyes settle between my legs, his tongue swiping out to briefly coat his swollen lips in momentary shine as he prowls up the mattress and only then do I see how stiff he is in his briefs- I just want him inside me.

Despite my state of tenseness Bill separates my legs with ease, a small 'fuck' leaving his throat as he drinks in the sight of my pantie class core, "Wanna make you scream..." Two of his slender fingers tactically stroke over the slick covered fabric that sticks to my puffy slit, teasing me softly as he applies just the right amount of pressure to my stimulated clit, "You're so wet already and I've barely touched you-" An egotistical hum swims through his deep voice, "My fingers are covered in you already."

I can't help the mewl that leaves my mouth as I watch Bill foam at the sight of me. No one's made me feel like this before, this wanted- this desired. Bill gasps as his fingers hook beneath the fabric of my underwear and it is shortly followed by a profane groan as his fingertips tease my needy entrance, "You're killin' me, baby." It makes my head whizz with exhilaration as Bill tears the poor garment of clothing from my body, slightly burning my skin with the friction as he does.

Goosebumps arise on my skin at the expose to such cool air, making me shiver where I lay. Bill's head of messy brown locks dip between my spread thighs, pressing trails of kisses from my kneecaps up to my bare centre where his tongue strokes a long slow strip through my glistening folds. His lips make a 'pop' noise as he sucks my sensitive cluster of nerves roughly , pulling away only to dive right back in again. And again...

"A..ah!" My back curves up from the comfortable springs beneath me but Bill continues to secure my hips in place, the grip his fingertips have on me is bruising as the room is filled with nothing but the lewd noise of wet sloppy slurping and pleasure pained moans.

"She's dripping," He coo's cutely, his voice is a muffled hum against my pussy and the vibrations cause my legs to quiver as they cage Bill's face between them. After one final stroke of his muscular tongue Bill spits on my folds before rising to steady himself on his knees, "Think you're ready for my cock now, babe?" His huge hand lads a sore slap against my heat and I cry out at the sting, tugging harshly on my bounds. It hurts but it also feels so fucking good...

"Yes! Yes, please. I'm ready... just want you to fuck me, Bill, please." I say with so much agony that it is comedic.

Two of his slim fingers push inside of me, filling and spreading me out as Bill finally free's his shaft from his underwear. His hand pumps at his length a few times, his thumb gently spreading the pre-cum from his tip to the rest of his thick rod, "Say, 'pretty please' and I'll think about it." His smile is more intoxicating than any of the alcohol that I've consumed and I'm growing to detest the affect he has on my body.

He carries on touching himself, his eyes hooding as he throws his head back in total bliss, "Pretty please." The words are almost a sob as I wiggle my hips, trying to meet him halfway. He bites his bottom lip, clearly satisfied with my pleading he taps his dick a few times against my slit only to shock me at the very last second as he pushes himself all the way inside. The stretch is glorious and my eyes are rolling to the back of my head at the sensation of him filling every inch of me.

"So warm- you're squeezing me so tight." It's now Bill's turn to moan as he bottoms out of my pulsating cunt and plunges himself back in again, "Keep this act up and I'll end up cumming before you do, sweetheart." The image of him coating my walls with his hot spunk makes me want to scream.

His thrusts quicken and with more ferocity, the room is captivated by the loud sounds of wet skin slapping skin and the perverted moans from both Bill and I.

"Don't stop! Ah.. fuck! Please don't stop!" My screams reverberate in my chest, bouncing off of every wall and playing back at us. It's evident that Bill has no intentions of slowing down and I struggle to keep my eyes open long enough to watch the perfect contour of his parted lips widen and how his dark eyebrows pinch together in pure delight.

He pulls out of me and grabs my hips. He flips me around to my stomach before pulling my ass up into the air where he spanks the skin brutishly and I endure the red marks that tingle their way up to the surface. Forcing my face down into the pillows he holds my head there as he propels himself back inside of me and the scream that leaves my mouth leaves me drooling all over my pillowcases. My mouth is unable to close from the constant moans exiting past my lips.

"I knew you were a slut, look at you-" He slaps my ass cheek again, punctuating his words, "Taking my cock so well. Am I hitting that sweet spot, baby?" I try to speak, I try to communicate with him but I can't. It's all too intense, "Right there? Yeah, Ugh, fuck yeah!" Bill's moans bless my ears and I feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach, my high is hurdling toward me with every thrust his thick cock gives.

"Want you to cream all over me, can you do that?" I nod into the pillow, having given up on my words and Bill releases a noise that is somewhere between an hum of approval and a moan, "So good for me, so fucking good.." Maybe I hadn't noticed before now, but the way he praises me only increases the fire consuming my insides and I don't know if it's because of how attracted I am to Bill or just a newly discovered kink of mine but whatever it is it's working.

I struggle to breathe against the fabric of the pillow and my eyes pinch closed alongside every muscle in my body tensing as my howling orgasm washes over me. My legs are a shaking mess and I swear I pass out for a moment or so because Bill is the only thing keeping me kneeling upright as he pounds into me from behind- chasing his own release that soon follows closely after mine...

And we are left both a panting muddle of sweaty flesh in a room stinking of nasty sex.

-

taglist: @colorful-white-ideas

[theborzoiarebackintown]

What would be your advice to a prospective first time noodle horse human? I am looking to get a borzoi when I get my own place and wanted to ask your advice.

Woops idk how long this was sitting in my inbox but I missed it!!!

Okay I apologize if this becomes a novel. (It will)

First piece of advice, get a big ass yard, and strongly consider getting litter mates or two puppies around the same age. You’d be doing yourself a huge favor :P

Familiarize yourself with the breed’s health issues and decide what you’re okay with, because there isn’t a single line of borzoi anywhere that doesn’t have bloat or heart issues. There are levels to these health issues though. Some heart issues can seem scary but dogs live to old ages with them with no problems. Sudden death is the big bad, but isn’t as prevalent as some would have you believe. Every borzoi alive has relatives with bloat. Direct relatives (parents, siblings, I consider parent’s littermates direct as well) bloating are the riskiest, and multiple direct relatives is probably something to avoid. There’s a certain subjectiveness to all this as well, many people may not agree with what I consider okay and vice versa, so do your research and decide what YOU find acceptable.

A breeder with dogs/lines that have health issues isn’t inherently irresponsible at all, it’s what they’re doing to try and mitigate those issues that matters. It’s important to remember a lot of the testing we have now wasn’t available even 10 years ago, and a lot of people breeding borzoi have been doing it for 20-30+ years. They have generations upon generations of dogs bred long before echos, holters, or DM tests, were a thing, and have to balance pedigrees with health and structure. Don’t get caught up in what the internet says responsible breeding is, there isn’t a magical list of good or bad and every breed is different.

A breeder can also do all the health testing required by the OFA and not be responsible at all, health testing doesn’t mean they’re making responsible choices with the information that testing provides. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t do a co-own. I have tried and failed at co-owns with people I thought I could trust, but words are free and anyone can present themselves however they want and flip the script at any time.

Have patience!! Start following kennels and learning structure now. The longer you look at borzoi and the more you learn, the more you’ll know what style of dog you want. The dogs I started out liking when I was brand new are NOT the style of dogs I enjoy today. Understand that borzoi are a rare breed and getting rarer, but pet homes are incredibly important to most breeders and if you’re an appropriate home they’ll want to place a dog with you.

Coursing ability in borzoi is an absolute crap shoot and anyone who tells you differently doesn’t know shit. You can breed the top two coursing dogs alive and get zero puppies that’ll course. That being said, there are definitely show lines that do zero coursing and like what even is the point then lol but a lack of a field championship isn’t much of a negative in my book. If you want a dog that consistently courses, get a whippet. It’s even normal for borzoi that can and do course to not get their field championships. It’s very common for them to learn the game and start cheating, and be unable to finish. Bastards. So my advice is don’t get hung up about it I guess.

Uhhh what else umm Ivanhoe is a BYB even though to a normal dog person they seem pretty good, even titling their dogs in conf. these days.

You can spend lots of time with borzoi but you won’t know what they’re really like until you live with one. They’re hard to describe. Like every breed, there’s a range of appropriate temperaments. They should be quietly confident, neither overbearing or shy. I’ve found the average borzoi will seek out attention from strangers without forcing themselves on anyone, but it’s not rare for them to be aloof and not care about other people at all.

They communicate subtly, and it���s really important to approach borzoi with a patient, but firm, hand. They’re not necessarily soft, but normal temperaments won’t tolerate harsh treatment. They WILL hold a grudge and can absolutely sulk and pout lol They need consistently enforced boundaries but usually a stern tone is enough to communicate they shouldn’t be doing something. On rare occasion they will need a strong correction, but usually only once rofl oh something a lot of people don’t talk about is most males go through an asshole phase around 18 months and you need to be ready to nip that shit in the bud. I’ve seen males ruined because their owners didn’t work through it with them appropriately. They basically need you to take the lead, and prove you’ve got their back and they don’t need to be a jerk to protect themselves. Clear communication and consistent positive public outings are key 👍🏻 (that doesn’t mean every outing must be incident free, but that you work through any shitty behavior and set behavioral expectations while showing them nothing bad is ultimately going to happen)

They’re somewhere between a cat and a “normal” dog temperament, and I consider them to be primitive breed adjacent. A lot of people don’t get them, and don’t take the time to learn how they talk. A lot of people find them flat and lacking personality, but I find those are the same people who don’t have the patience to really learn their language.

Is any of this good advice??? Rofl good luck!!! I’m willing to discuss individual breeders privately, so feel free to DM.

[seenoversundown]

Come Back For Me : Chapter Three

Danny Wagner x Melody (Fem OC)

Warnings: Fluff, the twins, a lot of Iris being cute, light anxiety, but there's not a ton to warn for this week- thankfully!

Word Count: 3k.

Summary: Melody and Iris stop by the bar to get some boring stuff taken care of and then everything takes a turn.

Author's Note: Consider this the calm before the storm. 😌 That's all I have to say about that.

Glue Myself Shut - Noah Kahan "And if I glue myself shut, You would find your way in."

“If you want to come in and get some of the new hire paperwork filled out,” Jake’s voice rang through the speakers in my car. “Whenever you can, obviously.” 

“I can do that,” I tell him, and then realize that I already told Iris we would go to the park today. “Ummm… are you okay with me bringing my daughter with me?”

He practically yelps, “Oh! I didn’t know you–” 

“I figured Josh would have told you,” I laugh out, but then tell him, “I have a three-year-old, and she was promised a date with the playground at some point.”

She’s pretty chill for being three, almost four, but she is still a kid at the end of the day, and boy, does she remind me of that. That tiny little thing tires me out every single day with her endless energy. We’ve found a park with a good playground that she really seems to enjoy. 

I can hear him chuckle to himself, but also hear the sounds of the bar as he’s wandering around. “Oh, that’s totally fine; we can just sit in my office so she’s not out and about with the alcohol and whatever.”

“Is.. that legal?” I ask, trying not to laugh because it sounds insane. 

“I have no idea,” He breathes out with a laugh of his own. “But you’re just filling out stuff, not like.. working, so I’ll say it’s fine.” 

I look at my rearview mirror, seeing her just content playing with the few little toys she has, and then looking at the clock, seeing it’s about lunchtime. I should probably not torment him right away with a hungry child. 

“Okay, I can head over in a few minutes,” I say. “Just going to stop to grab her something to eat– I don’t need her freaking out the first time you’re around her.” 

“There’s no rush,” He giggles quietly before mumbling, “I’m excited to meet her.” 

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Once I satisfied the little diva in my backseat with a treat and we found a parking spot kind of near the bar, we took our time walking there because somebody needed to get some energy out. She’s not as slow as she used to be, but she gets so distracted by everything that if we move too quickly, she’ll trip over her own feet. 

As we get closer, I squat down to her level to make it easier. 

‘Mom has to talk to her friend about work,’ waiting for her to acknowledge it. She signs back, ‘Okay.’ 

I scoop her up before pulling the door open, and her eyes go wide at all the decor on the walls. We take a second to look at some of the pictures that are hung up, and her eyes light up over the jukebox, but we don’t have enough time to get through all of that. 

I can’t help but notice that this place is a ghost town right now; I guess there really is no reason people would be here around lunchtime. It’s probably nice for him if he’s understaffed, though, at least not having to worry about being overwhelmingly busy. 

We wander down the hall, finding Jake sitting in his office, and all I can hear is the keyboard as he’s replying to an email. 

“Hi,” I say quietly so as not to scare him. Turning around from his desk, he smiles, but his eyes drop to her quickly. I tell him, “This is Iris.” Shifting her up on my hip slightly. 

He waves at her and watches me as I spell out ‘Jake’  to her. She shyly waves back to him, and his eyes soften at her little smile. 

“She’s precious,” he tells me before switching over to work stuff.  “Okay, so, there’s not like a ton for you to do.” 

It kind of was a relief that he didn’t just focus on her, not that I don’t want to talk about my kid, obviously, but it’s nice when people don’t forget that I’m also here. 

“Also, I should warn you,” he says. “Danny works here, but you won’t have to really work with him.” 

“Oh, okay,” I breathe out. I should have known, really. “No, that’s fine, honestly. We’re adults; we can handle that.” 

He sighs, almost as if relieved, and tells me, “You reacted a little better than he did, so that’s good.”

How did he react?

“What does he do?” I ask quietly. 

“He really just handles any rowdy customers or overly drunk ones,” he says, handing over a little stack of paperwork to me. Giggling as he says,  “As you can imagine, I’m not the most threatening person.” 

I set Iris down and she leans into my leg while I look through the forms. Feeling her nuzzle her face into my leg and then turn back to Jake a few times, I glance down to see her peeking over at him. 

‘You can say hi,’ I tell her. 

He smiles at her before looking up at me, asking, “Is she weary around men or?”

“No, she’s honestly a big ol’ flirt. She’s just being shy,” I can’t fight the laugh that comes out with it. 

They keep staring at each other and laughing quietly, watching her eyes light up when he leans closer to her height. 

‘You like him?’ I ask her, and she just hides her face. 

I tell him, “She’ll never want to leave you alone once she’s comfortable.” 

“That’s okay with me,” he lets out. 

The two of them still have a staring contest; as I’m slowly filling out the paperwork he needs, I hear Josh. 

“Melody! Hello!” His voice rings as he leans against the door frame, gasping when he notices. “And hello, sweet angel.” Waggling his fingers at her as he squats down. 

This girl is going to end up with a fuckin ego at this rate. 

I laugh out a “hello” back to him. 

Josh waves her over to him, and it only takes a minute before she toddles over to him. He’s a lot more animated and goofy, so he enticed her a bit quicker. It’s so sweet to see him able to talk to her without needing my help, and she seems really excited about it, too. Obviously, it’s kind of perfect that she’s so young with how much ASL he actually knows; they are a match made in heaven.  

“It’s wild sitting in this room with you guys,” I confess; it kind of just blurts out of my mouth. 

They both look at each other for a second before Josh chimes in, “Yeah, I didn’t really expect this to be a thing.” 

“Can I ask something?” I start but follow up with, “You don’t have to tell me.” 

They both just nod and my heart pounds as the question leaves my mouth, “Is Sam going to be pissed?” 

The silence in the room is so loud. 

“He.. uh,” Jake hesitates. “He probably won’t be excited.”

Josh clears his throat audibly, “We sort of haven’t told him yet.” 

I know Sam probably hates me, but Daniel is his best friend, so I can’t be entirely shocked. They’ve been close since they were kids, so there is no chance he isn’t going to take Daniel’s side in anything. I just hope he knows the truth, at least. 

“He doesn’t work here, too, does he?”

They both burst out laughing, but Jake manages to squeak out an, “Absolutely not.” 

“Thank god, okay.”

“He comes in a good amount, and I’ll sometimes recruit him,” Jake tells me as the laughter dies down, “But if you’re also here, I probably won’t need to ask much of him.” 

Looking down to see Josh fully sitting on the floor with Iris, oh how sweet. Seeing the way he just signs a few things to her and how comfortable she already seems around him. He does have a way of doing that– both of them do, really. 

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After a few minutes, Josh left us to go do his job, and I stole where he was sitting. Iris moves on to try and get closer to Jake but still being a bit shy about it. She’s a funny little thing with who she decides she’s comfortable with. 

“So, do you have a schedule in mind?” I ask him. 

He looks over at a calendar he has on his desk before turning back to me, “Well, do you have anything you definitely can’t do?” His eyes quickly dropped to her and then back up to meet mine. 

“If I can just get her in bed a couple nights a week, I don’t even mind working after that, but just so she doesn’t forget that I love her,” I tell him, letting out a small laugh at the latter part. 

“We can work with that for sure,” he says, leaning down so Iris can touch his hair. “I’m just grateful that we didn’t scare you off.” His eyes move back to her as she gently plays with a little section of his hair that’s more wavy—chuckling quietly to myself, watching the two of them subtly as I fill out more information. Shuffling the papers to grab the next blank one, and realizing it’s the payroll form. Shit. 

“Um,” I hesitate quietly. "I don’t have my bank info on me. Can I just bring it next time I’m here, or can I run home real quick?” I cringe a bit, but he seems so unphased by it. 

“Oh, just bring it whenever you can,” he tells me. Smiling at Iris when he says, “I know you, I’m less worried about it.” 

“Are you sure?” I ask, knowing he’s not going to care but I don’t want him to think I’m taking advantage of the fact we know each other. 

He lets out a small giggle before telling me, “I’m positive. You have that playground to get to, anyway.” 

I can’t help the laugh that comes out when he says it. It’s nice that neither of them seems judgemental of the fact I have her. The twins are a couple of years older than me, but we’re all not that old, to be fair. I suppose I shouldn’t be too shocked, considering who I’m working with here, but still. It’s refreshing. 

The two of them giggle together as she warms up to him and tries to tickle him, which he naturally lets her do because how do you say ‘no’ to a cute little thing like her? He makes her belly laugh when he tickles her back; her laugh is the cutest thing in the world, and I’ll stand on that. 

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“Well, thank you so much, again, for doing this,” I tell Jake as we start to walk out into the bar. “It means a lot, really.” 

Josh prances to the end of the bar, “Leaving already?”

“Need to get Miss Girl to the park before it gets too late,” I tell him, bouncing her around a little to make her laugh. 

Watching him pretend to clutch his pearls at the sound before he lets out, “Oh my heart! Well, don’t keep her waiting!” 

She says her ‘goodbyes’ to them both when I hear the door chime ring, glancing over my shoulder. Oh, fuck me. Daniel walks into the bar, and my mind starts racing. 

I wasn’t prepared to introduce him to her yet. There’s no chance he’s going to understand what happened, and if anybody is going to be judgey, I feel like it’ll be him. Not that it matters. We’ve literally spoken once since we broke up.. But we’re going to work together now so. 

“Oh— hey,” he says quietly once he gets a bit closer to us. 

I quietly let out a “Hi.” Turning slightly to where Iris is visible, she tucks herself close to me again. He looks over at her, and I see his eyes widen a little. His mouth hung slightly open for a second before asking, “Who’s this?” 

“She’s being shy today,” I tell him, taking the second to introduce him to her. Spelling out his name to her even if she’s back to being bashful; his eyes are fixed on the way I’m talking to her. 

He waves at her, looking at her for a minute before looking back at me. His voice barely above a whisper, “She’s really just a mini you, huh?” 

“You think?” A laugh sneaks out with it. Breathing out,  “Hopefully, she doesn’t get too much from me— I’m already afraid for the attitude to kick in more.” My eyebrows raise as I say it.

He quietly lets out, “I don’t know– I always thought you were pretty great.” His eyes went from her to mine, and I swear I could see something switch in him. We stare at each other for a second, and it feels normal.

“You haven’t changed at all, have you, Daniel?” A soft smile laced my lips after I said it; our eye contact felt intense, but this only being the second time I’ve seen him in years, I guess it’s to be expected. 

It was quiet for a moment; I almost forgot where we were. 

He clears his throat before asking, “Uh- do you need help with anything?” 

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” I tell him, waving my hand around. “I’ve gotten pretty good at juggling things at this point.” Nodding my head towards Iris. 

I had never considered that I would have to introduce him to my daughter. I spent so long thinking about how we would have kids.. together. 

Sure, it was a thought at one time, but who doesn’t have those thoughts when you date for a few years? Granted, we were still so young even when we broke up– I truly thought he was it. And it took all this time to get to a place where I accepted that finally, maybe that isn’t true. Standing here in front of him, my mind and my heart are conflicted seeing him again. 

I watch him as he looks at Iris, really taking a moment just to see her. She naturally is hamming it up a bit, smirking into me. 

‘Mom,’ she signs. ‘His hair is like mine.’ 

I laugh, telling her, ‘Yes, you’re right.’ 

Looking back at him, I tell him, “I think she likes your hair.” 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still find him attractive; he looks good. Something about his hair being longer is really working for me. He started growing it when we were dating, but it hadn’t gotten to this point where he could wear it up. It suits him well. Also, after working at the shipyard for a while, he must have kept up in the gym or something because he looks a bit more muscular than before. I’m not mad about that either. 

The way that he isn’t exuding a weird vibe towards me, makes me feel like we have the potential to at least be friends again. If we’re working together in some capacity, we’ll end up talking anyway. 

Hearing the door open, just the air swapping from outdoors to indoors, was enough to pull me back to reality. Given the way people keep seeming to show up, I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting it when I heard a familiar voice yelling, “Oh, Daniel!” 

We stood there for a second before Danny turned around, letting out a quiet “um.” Slowly side-stepping because the inevitable was coming, Sam came into view as he moved. He still looked the same, his hair a bit longer, and his facial hair made him look a little older, but it was still the Sam I remembered. 

Even just seeing him takes me back. 

The three of us were inseparable for so long. We spent countless hours together– running through stores together, going to the beach during the summer to see the fireworks, finding random places to go ice skating during the winter and keeping them in mind for when the weather got warm so we could go swimming. The three of us always had each other laughing over something incredibly dumb. 

If it weren’t for Sam giving him a nudge, I don’t know if Daniel would have ever asked me out. Even if it was glaringly obvious that we had a crush on each other, I think we both were worried about ruining the friendship. I guess maybe we had a valid fear. 

I always loved the relationship that they had with each other. They truly were each other’s best friend. Relying on one another for any and everything in life, which obviously, as a teenager, wasn’t really that much, but it sure felt like the weight of the world. It only makes the feeling in my stomach worse now. 

He and I lock eyes, and it feels like time slows, except this isn’t the same feeling I got when I walked into Daniel the other day– this is worse. His stare felt sharp, cold, which is nothing I wouldn’t have expected, but shit, it doesn’t feel great being on the receiving end of it. It only solidifies my fear that he definitely was Daniel’s crutch after the break-up, and of course, I understand that he would do that for him. But this is brutal. 

I shift my weight, moving Iris into his view. I watch his eyes move over to her, and then the subtle panic wash over his face as he looks between her and Daniel. But the second his stare comes back to me, the dread joins it. 

Knowing one of us is going to have to break the tension as we stare at each other, but we’re both apparently too stubborn to be the one to do it. The reality of it is probably a minute, which isn’t even silent as some classic rock song plays through the speakers or the bar, but nothing is louder than when Josh finally says, “Well.. Sam knows.” 

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Chapter Two

Chapter Four

CBFM Masterpost | Masterlist | Playlist

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[dark-and-kawaii]

Lynnania Thay, Queen Of Thay

Other Titles:

The Vermillion Queen

Scourge Of Sovereigns (She’s Killed 3 Kings And Ended An Entire Bloodline)

Queen Of The Dragons

Lofn Cormyr Thay's Mother

Because everyone has been so interested and kind with Lofn I wanted to share with you all Lofn's mother who started everything in our DnD campaign. This campaign has now been going on for five years officially and everything that is said below has happened which is wild, please enjoy.

In Lynnania’s veins flows the same blood as the Ancient Red Dragon, a dragon that has long been intertwined with her family's legacy. Before Lynnania, her father Merciel Thay rode the mighty beast, just as her grandfather did before him. Together, the Ancient Red Dragon and Lynnania's grandfather laid the foundation of Thay, seizing the land in a bygone era, and forging it into the kingdom it is today.

She is a fearsome fighter, sorceress, and Queen, renowned for her indomitable spirit and undefeated record in countless battles/wars. Ascending the throne at 19 years old, she claimed her rightful place in Thay. Since then, she has waged relentless wars, relentlessly expanding her banners and territory, seeking to conquer and gain kingdoms throughout the region.

Lynnania is without a doubt a strong and unyielding Queen that never hides behind her walls. She is a Queen that will forever fight alongside her people, whether on dragonback or not. She would never bend the knee for anyone, deeming death a far more suitable option for any who dare ask this of her. If you do not bend the knee to her... Well... She will kill you for that as well.

When confronted with threats, Lynnania exhibits a bone chilling absence of mercy. Though her reign may be drenched in blood, her subjects and allied realms remain unwaveringly devoted to her and even adore her.

Lynnania wields a weapon known as the Mirror dagger: This blade was bestowed upon her by a mysterious masked elf who crossed her path during her travels. The masked figure played a series of tricks on Lynnania, and by the end of their encounter, she found herself in the possession of the dagger. Initially, it was cursed, seizing control of her at unpredictable times and causing harm to those around her.

Though it took time, Lynnania managed to break the curse which ended up being the Masked Elf trapped within the dagger who turned out to be the son of the great Feywild. This led her unlocking the daggers true potential- she can teleport to wherever she throws it, and if she lands a fatal blow with the dagger she can imprison the victims soul within its shards. The dagger is crafted from broken glass, with each fragment serving as a prison for a soul. Lynnania has the power to resurrect anyone whose soul she has captured by simply breaking the shard that contains it. She may also take on the appearance of those whose souls she’s claimed.

Enemies: Asmodeous & The Nine Hells

Dragons At Her Side: Ancient Red, Black, Gold, Green, and Brass.

Children: Signa, Visela, Lofn, and twin boys whom she took in from streets, Aedric and Aleron.

Lynnania is a wicked force to be reckoned with at this point, she has single handily forged alliances with names we have all heard about. Take for instance, Grazzt, The Demon Prince Of Pleasure, a prominent figure among her earliest allies due to her relationship with him. Her stepfather -long story-, played a role in raising her and happened to be none other than Grazzt's own offspring. Together, Lynnania and Grazzt have formed a great partnership, united in their shared enmity for The Nine Hells. Recognizing her as a potent assest, Grazzt has bestowed upon her his mark, even granting her with a portion of his own abilities. Though much more could be said, their relationship remains delightfully uncomplicated in its wickedness.

Bane Lord Of Darkness, yes it's true I promise you. Bane is one of Lynnania's closest allies. Bane initially sought to extinguish her existence, dispatching his chosen one at the time to do his bidding. Yet, astonishingly, Lynnania not only withstood a fatal blow but also managed to mercilessly and precisely throw her dagger into their chest allowing her to teleport to it and dig the dagger deep into their heart- sealing their soul forever in her dagger as her prisoner. Time and time again, Bane tirelessly tried to kill her, only to witness her emerge as the victorious one each time, incinerating his last chosen to ashes.

Impressed at this point by Lynnania, Bane also found himself consumed by curiosity and since that time he has taken on the form of a wood elf Reyes so he could be at her side. He brought her back to his domain giving her a chance to prove herself, which she did. Bane has now stood by her side since fighting alongside her conquering new territories, enjoying her ambition. He looks forward to their coming war in The Nine Hells. Bane's Church was even allowed to be built in Thay. They since have become inseparable and you will most likely find these two together. Rumors have spread that the lord of darkness may harbor other feelings towards her, but it is unknown/ never been proven.

The Githyanki, were allied with her Father before she was even born. Merciel Thay held a private study within an Astral Dreadnought's stomach which harbored his most cherished possessions including a golden dragon egg and providing a portal to the realm of the Githyanki. Upon his demise, this inheritance fell into Lynnania's grasp, solidifying the Gith and her connection. Though occasional rivalry may simmer between Lynnania and the Githyanki, in times of battle and war, they set aside their differences, recognizing their respectivie roles and the importance of victory. Together they always unite, driven by their connections of the red dragons.

Tiamat Also Know As The Dark Lady, was released from her shackles orchestarted by Lynnania and her forces when they took to Avernus in The Nine Hells to showcase her army and power. While this battle was going on, Lynnania was able to find her way to Asmodeus shattering the contract and chains that had long bound Tiamat under his thumb. Due to Lynnania's connection and relation to the Ancient Red Dragon -One Of Tiamat's "children"- Tiamat has an unbreakable bond with Lynnania. They both harbor a desire to witness the ultimate downfall of Asmodeus.

Cormyr and Thay were at war for ages and clashed in a relentless war due to Cormyr being connected with the Ancient Blue Dragon. In the era preceding Lynnania's reign -before she was born-, Merciel and the King of Cormyr, Lothric, locked dragons in a cataclysmic clash in a spectacle that left the very heavens trembling. Amidst the fight, Merciel emerged triumphant as The Ancient Red Dragon delivered a fatal blow that killed the once mighty Ancient Blue Dragon.

During Lynnania's time in Cormyr, Lothric's son, Lykos, new ruler of Cormyr -unbeknownst to him of who she actually was at the time- and her both fell deeply in love. As he discovered her truth and who her father he reluctantly chose not to hold his blade to her. Instead he decided to keep her close, potentially using her to his own benefits and safeguarding her from others. Unfortunately, one of Lykos' guards discovered her secret being of Thay blood and dared lay hands upon her attempting to imprison her. Breaking free from his grasp she spared the man only to see what Lykos would do once she told him and showed him the bruise left behind... The guard and the other who saw it all happened were never seen again... Their existence forever erased.

Eventually after some time Lynnania killed Lykos, sealing his soul away within her mirror dagger. To ensure his father couldn't reign again she also slaughtered him in his sleep... And then killed the younger brother which turned out to be her half brother thus discovering what caused the great war in the first place... The Queen Of Thay, Lynnania's mother had an affair with the old king of Cormyr.

A year went by and she brought Lykos back, claiming she did what she had to ensure the ending of the war. They worked it out and he became king again and they united their forces and kingdoms creating a new army, The Purple Dragons <3

There is so much i want to add but i cant. How do you breakdown a five year campaign???? I hope whoever reads this enjoyed it xoxo

Commission By: ArtOfNeight

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 3 "Where is Bella?" (Part 3)

While Cassandra goes about her work at the institute, Alexander enjoys his day off with his father. Even though the boy is not so artistically inclined, he is still interested in art. He knows from stories that his mother was passionate about painting. But he is also surprised that there is not a single picture of hers hanging in the whole family home.

“Why aren't there any pictures of mom hanging here? Didn't she want them to be seen in the gallery?"/ ”She's… She didn't get around to putting her pictures in the gallery, Alexander. But she would have liked to… It just wasn't quite enough for an exhibition.” Mortimer found it difficult to give his son explanations that weren't even entirely true.

“Then why don't you just paint a few pictures and show them? You can paint beautifully too, I know that"/,,I know that too. But I… Would you like to have a look at the old covered wagon?”. The boy noticed when his father became uncomfortable talking about certain things. So he preferred not to probe any further. “Yes, and I want to have another look at the founder's statue.”

Mortimer worked at the institute himself for many years. He carried out many groundbreaking research projects and experiments. But there was one area that he preferred to keep his hands off in the end. He no longer knew what to do, the loss almost broke him completely. But he caught himself, for his children. “And that's what they used to drive around in, Dad?”.

“Hn-hn, yes, and sometimes whole families traveled in a thing like that//,,I find that hard to imagine. How did they go to the toilet? Our caravans have toilets in them“/”well, there were no toilet blocks by the roadside back then. Then you went into the forest“/”mmh, and what about toilet paper?"/ ‘My boy, necessity is the mother of invention’.

To change his own mind a little, he told his son what life was like in the past, in the countryside, in the cities. Completely different from today, where so many things have become taken for granted. And Alexander listened curiously and patiently to the stories his father told him. They spent a little longer in the gallery.

short Change of scene

Strangetown

While Mortimer is on a trip to the gallery with his son, his daughter is on the phone in her lab. As she needs help with her own experiments, she has contacted a few experts whose contact details were not exactly easy to obtain. She is currently only in telephone contact with them.

And in this laboratory at the end of the Strangetown desert, work is also being done, well, more or less: “What did you do again to cause the box to crash?”/"I didn't do anything, okay? What bothers me most is that it happened again during calibration. And I can't find the error"/ ‘Have you ever asked Bert?’/ ‘He's busy in the lab at the moment…’.

Then Pascal's cell phone rang. Hello? Oh, hello, Cassandra, how are you? I'm glad to hear that. Yes, everything's the same here. I'm sorry to disappoint you… Yes, there's nothing new in that regard. All the sightings have turned out to be fakes. The ladies have all been checked, none of them are your mother. Mhm…”.

“I can't explain it either, but they're all clean. They have valid birth certificates, each of them has their own genetic code, no two are alike, and neither is your mother. Apparently it's just a freak of nature that some of the women here look very similar to Bella. No, Polli has also confirmed everything to me in detail. I think we'll have to start all over again, step by step… Hey, I know you don't want to give up“/,,haach, crap crutch,” was heard from the background. “No, that wasn't me haha”.

“Oh, I'm having problems with the main computer here at the moment. And my little brother is the only one I trust when it comes to technology… Oh God, mercy, no. Hmm, yeah, I'll definitely contact Polli again…. oh, I believe you on that, no question. Tycho? Oh, he's doing wonderfully, he's learning incredibly fast,” / ‘who knows what he's doing with the babysitter right now, hehe’….

“Oh, that's Lazlo, he's always cracking some kind of joke. What's the situation?"/ ”Your Holy Grail is operational again, all the data is still there, nothing has been lost. What do I get for it?“/”uh, I don't know, we'll talk about it later… Cassandra? Oh, good, you're still on. Well, I'd suggest we go back to the beginning. When did she disappear and everything”.

“back to the beginning? We've already been through all that. oh man, hhh, all right. I'm meeting Don today anyway… maybe I can do some more questioning there… Yes, the wedding is soon. Mhm…did you actually receive my e-mail with my theory? And what do you think? OK, then ask your brother… It's okay. Give my regards. Yes, see you then”.

After she had finished the phone call, she collected her thoughts once again. She has been dealing with Pascal for several months now and she currently has a suspicion as to where her mother might be. But that's just a theory. It's all about her soul. Her ghostly existence. A ghost that is nowhere to be found must still be somewhere. Maybe even stuck somewhere? But for now, Cassandra makes her way to her meeting with Don.

@greenplumbboblover, @solorisims, @plumbobgothica🙂