#i was to lazy to switch up everyone so just mike and will are girls

[milarepas]

Willow was sent to kill one of the three royal sisters and end the curse for the entire kingdom. But she later realized there were no such demons to fight. Her beliefs were slowly shattered the moment the breath of a raven-haired girl with eyes as black as her dress brushed her lips.

Now, instead of blood, the village girl wanted something else, something that would make her feel impure.

Summary: A Kingdom that was cursed to spend all eternity under the moonlight the night the queen dies. The curse would fall when they hand over the hearts of the three sisters; nancy, holly and michelle. (Spoiler: the queen, in fact, dies)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!! I was wondering if you knew of any really long fics (like 25k or more) that are only one chapter, I travel a lot sometimes and some places don't really have good enough internet for multi chapter fics. So yeah, any really long one chapter fics about John and Sherlock would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!!

LOL OKAY FUNNY STORY. I almost replied to this with “oof I’ll have to read EVERYTHING so I’m sorry.... and then... I remembered.......

I put chapter counts on everything 🙃😐 

I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. 🖍 

Anyway, so yes, I can definitely rec you some fics! BUT I should also offer you two suggestions you can totally do to read ANY fic!

On Ao3, you can click on the “Entire Work” button to load ALL chapters of a fic (it’s the very first button along the top) and in turn you can then just read it all there! 

And the very last button along the top, you can Download copies of the fic to your phone or computer with eBook file types (AZw3 for Kindle, ePub for iPhone’s Books app, and MOBI is for other mobile devices and e-readers), the HTML if you want to read it as-is in a web-browser, or the PDF format which is a universal file format that is supported by everything, even web browsers, so it’s a good one to download if you don’t know what format you need :) If you read on an eReader, though, I can’t recommend enough just downloading the format for your device. You get to keep a copy of the fic AND the eReader keeps it nicely formatted. It’s a BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL feature that Ao3 gave us, because I like downloading all my fics and read them later in iBooks. Once you start that, Nonny, you can’t do it any other way. AND at the VERY END of the fics, it links BACK to the original post so you can bookmark, kudos, and comment on it!! <3

So yeah, two options you can do to solve your poopy internet and still read long fics hee hee! <3

ANYWAY EXCUSE FOR A NEW LIST LOL. 

ALSO, side note, check out @silentauroriamthereal; a large chunk of her fics are both long AND one chapter, so it’s a good place to go and she’s a brilliant author so I don’t think you’ll be disappointed! <3 Plus a lot of her fics are on this list, so I am sorry hahah.

AND I wanted to make the list a bit longer than I had, so I picked fics over 20K, if that’s alright :) As always, if you wrote a 20k+ single chapter fic, let us know!

SINGLE CHAPTER FICS OVER 20K WORDS

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Shallow Grave by SilentAuror (E, 31,672 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, HLV Fix It, Infidelity, Pining Sherlock, First Person POV Sherlock) – Starts as Sherlock's plane is taking off at the end of His Last Vow. When he finds out that Moriarty is alive and that he's being recalled from his mission, Sherlock decides that he should have told John how he felt before he left. So he walks off the plane and kisses him.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding... Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

[smolbeandrabbles]

Don’t Call Me Angel - Detective Meares x Reader (Needle)

GIF CREDIT: X 

All responsibility out the window here, I can’t claim any, it’s all Mendo Nation’s fault! No seriously they came up with it, I’m innocent I swear!

Author’s Note: “How did we get here!? Who brought us here!?” 

I stg, @mendelskrull​ and @crawlingmist​ started me on this damn man with digging up (and creating) gifs I didn’t even realise were a thing. And then I was like ‘you know I think I can probably get something out of him!’ and kinda dismissed that 500 words as all we were ever going to get.

Oh no. Then - rightfully so! - I did some campaigning for him on Twitter polls and now I’m here. 

I digress. I wrote more for Meares, and you’re welcome.

Disclaimer: This is not my idea/plot and is a joint effort of the Mendo Nation - who let me go ahead and write it / Needle naught to do with me / gifs & lyrics not mine

Premise: When Meares turns up at a crime scene and finds a second potential victim he’ll do anything to see the killer brought to justice, for her. If he can figure out who the killer is...

Words: 8277

Warnings: TW potential rape discussed / sexual connotations / sexual pre-amble / swearing / kidnap / I really tried to make that last scene as far from non-con as I possibly could but I still want to put a warning for it jic.

____

Don't call me angel when I'm a mess Don't call me angel when I get undressed You know I, I don't like that, boy I make my money, and I write the checks So say my name with a little respect All my girls successful, and you're just our guest Do I really need to say it? Do I need to say it again, yeah? You better stop the sweet talk And keep your pretty mouth shut Boy, don't call me angel, You ain't got me right Don't call me angel, You can't pay my price Ain't from no Heaven,Yeah, you heard me right Even though you know we fly, Don't call me angel You sizin' up my body, oh yeah Don't you know that I bite when the sun set?  So don't you try come around me Might work with her, but not me, oh yeah Don't you know that I bite when the sun set? Keep my name out your mouth I know what you about So keep my name out your mouth I appreciate the way you watch me, I can't lie I drop it down, I pick it up, I back it off the county line I fell from Heaven, now I'm living like a devil You can't get me off your mind I appreciate the way you want me, I can't lie I drop it low, I back it up, I know you wanna think you're mine Baby, I totally get it, you can't guess so You can't get me off your mind We in it together, but don't call me angel

---

Abandoned building in the middle of nowhere – that wasn’t so unusual, not for a crime scene anyway. This was the kind of place he half expected to be sent to. Not that he particularly wanted to go – another Detective had been on the case this morning, but apparently something a little more interesting had come up for them and so Meares was thrown the file. ‘So… where’s my crime scene?’ in fact, he wasn’t even sure he was in the right place by the fact there appeared to be no officers guarding the scene. Only the tape strung across the front of the building let him know that’s exactly where he wanted to be. Maybe they’d all just been lazy and decided to clock off for the evening? He ducked under the tape and flicked his torch on, which he still needed because the lights in the warehouse were so goddamn dim. But why had everyone left? The sheet was still over the body and to him that only signalled that the scene had yet to be fully processed. ‘Fucking bastards sending me out here…’  He huffed, ‘If they’ve all miked off drinking I swear to GO---D.’ He noticed how he was also alone out here and his partner, Detective Reddick, didn’t want to bother driving across town for it either. “Aw, nah, it’ll only take one of us. Report back..!” Cursing again, Meares approached the victim, he supposed he might have to start this alone. Bending over he grasped the corner of the white sheet delicately – having learned from previous crime scene interactions that sometimes he could be a little too flamboyant in his actions and there’d been a few ‘incidents’ – and stood to height as he pulled the fabric back from the body. Respect the victim - a little easier when he was alone… Meares guessed that sometimes he just liked being a show off and it was an unfortunate trait he couldn’t help. He jumped as he surveyed the body, just one glance over – his stumbled footsteps echoed around the warehouse, adding to the eerie atmosphere. Meares checked his papers, then the body, then the papers again, then the body… That was not a ‘white male, 20s, average build, deep lacerations, bruising and ligature marks’. This was a very naked (but very beautiful) woman; possibly around the same age bracket - but the body itself looked intact. “Okay. Who is out here pranking me now!?” Had someone switched files? Had someone told him the wrong location? No, no, how often did that happen? Everything else about his file was right, apart from the body. Meares tipped his head, tongue between his lips as he drew his eyes back up her. He rolled it with a small tsk sound, and then knew he was smirking. It was probably very inappropriate to think that a potential victim was hot, even when it was as confusing as to why this was the body in front of him. But her form dipped and curved in just the right places, her skin very nearly perfect… Meares wouldn’t have guessed she’d been dead too long, but also didn’t see any way that she could have died. He stepped carefully around her, her eyes may have been closed but she had an Angel face to match her body, Meares thought hard; ‘more importantly, why is she at my crime scene? And if she is here… where is the real body?’ He let his eyes linger on her for a little too long, and felt that guilty blush build up on his cheeks, travelling fairly swiftly to his neck… but the rush of blood travelled a little further than expected. NO. NO. C’mon, man… He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. But found himself suddenly sad that she was the victim; of course, every victim was difficult but as a detective he had to do his best to separate- “Is it her or her body, though? C’mon. You have nooo idea what she’s-” Meares paused, “Aw, great, I’ve finally cracked I’m talking to myself at a crime scene.” He stopped his walk, palm to his forehead for a minute, “Well, nothing like an expert opinion!” He looked her body over again. No, he was fairly certain there was no obvious sign of trauma. Nor anything to indicate any other type of foul play. And it still bothered him that the body was supposed to be male-! ‘It sure does feel like a set up…’ And of course, forensics had all cleared off. He took one more step towards her; maybe Meares just wasn’t thinking clearly enough. ‘Too distracted, obviously.’ But also maybe he just wasn’t looking closely enough. His eyes lingered on her face ‘Who are you? Why are you here? Who did this to you..? C’mon, darling, I need answers…’ Meares didn’t have a chance to think much more than that; her eyes snapped open. If he thought he’d jumped back before, his string of yelled expletives matched the pounding of his heart in his chest as his adrenaline spiked. Yeah, dead bodies did that, occasionally – but dead bodies did not then take dry choked breaths that then became something close to strangled sobs. That didn’t surprise Meares either; she’d practically been declared dead, she was in a middle-of-nowhere warehouse, naked, and a male detective was now standing over her and – by his own admittance – probably looking a little leery. When her eyes focused on him all he saw on her face was terror, she pulled her knees up, arms around her body to cover herself as she attempted to scramble away. Meares threw his hands up, immediately going for his badge, “Hey, hey! It’s okay! It’s okay! My name’s Detective Meares. It’s alright – I’m here to help… I promise… you’re alright now.” He wasn’t sure she trusted him, and her nails dug hard into her skin. Meares shrugged himself out of his jacket, levelling his voice off in hushed tones. “You gave me quite a scare there you know?!” He smiled as he held it out for her, “I’m here to investigate a body, although believe me I’m glad you’re not one… take it. It’s okay… We should probably get you outta here…” He watched her slip it on, buttoning the front up to look as modest as possible, but she still shivered. “You… got a name?” Her eyes raised back to his face, but suddenly she shook her head, “I don’t…” “Remember?” Her nod was certainly sad and he didn’t want her to panic and spiral, but anything he could get now would aid his case greatly, “Do you remember anything? Why you’re here, what happened? Anything about who did this? What about your clothes honey, do you know what you were wearing?” She continued to shake her head, and Meares certainly didn’t want to stress her out any more than he had to. “Okay, it’s okay, this happens. I’m sure it’ll come to you. It’s all going to be fine. But, I should really get you over to a hospital.” “I don’t-” “Honey it’s procedure, I don’t have much of a choice,” he held his hand out for her, “you’re safe with me. No one is going to hurt you.” She placed her hand in his delicately, and Meares felt like he was going on some kind of power trip, but not a bad kind of trip; she trusted him. He was going to protect her now, that was his duty. He pulled her up, trying to keep his eyes on her face. “Thank you.” “Hey, we’re not there yet, you can thank me later. Let’s make sure you’re all okay, right now. Come on, I’ll get you to the car and get you warmed up.” He didn’t touch her as he led her to it, opening the door; Meares would put the heat on for her, he’d pull up to the hospital and they could do tests and maybe he’d get some more evidence from her… And she’d remember too, once she was over the shock, he was sure. He slid his mobile out of his pocket, calling his partner as he jogged around to the driver’s side of the car, indicated that he should meet Meares at the hospital and they could figure it out from there. The detective paused, looking back at the building for just a moment as he opened the door… There was just once problem he couldn’t quite figure out here. “Where the fuck is my actual body, though?!”

** You kept glancing across to the detective as he sped towards the hospital, and you did mean that – Meares was running every light and had his blue lights flashing. He looked on the verge of his 40’s, messy greying black hair and piercing blue eyes – though the true colour seemed fleeting as they changed with his emotions. And those were all over the place right now, that much was obvious. Although he appeared to be being the gentleman, sometimes he couldn’t help but look over at you – and his glances to your body weren’t very fleeting, either. In a normal situation you supposed you would be flattered, but right now you were having doubts you could trust him to be taking you where he said he was. ‘No… He’s a detective. He surely wouldn’t take advantage of that?’ or, maybe he would; how much did you know about Meares anyway? Maybe not a lot; but he was very easy to read on the surface so you didn’t think that figuring him out was going to be much of a challenge. Eventually you started seeing the Hospital signs and could breathe a real sigh of relief; okay… you could trust him. Upon pulling up you noticed several other police vehicles waiting around outside – all with their lights also flashing. You gasped and visibly shrank back in your seat; Meares turned to you. “Don’t worry, I called for backup, they’re good guys. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He opened his car door. “I’ll be very quick, okay, just wait here. We’ll get you checked up.” You reached for his hand before he had a chance to leave and held him there for a minute, Meares thought that you might be about to thank him, but that wasn’t what came out of your mouth: “Y/N.” “…What?” “…My name. You asked my name.” You found yourself taken aback by how gentle and sweet his smile was, “Y/N, you remembered… That’s good progress. Real good progress.” His large hand enveloped yours for a second, “Excellent! Now just, wait here, the hospital will help you out!” By the time Detective Meares exited the car and found his partner he was panicking again, “God damn, Meares-! What the hell is going on!” “You tell me! They send me to a crime scene where somebody is supposed to have been cut through, and I find a live woman there? What happened to all the investigators!? Anyway, that isn’t the point, she’s sitting in my car, I don’t know who she is – she’s barely remembered her first name – she doesn’t know how she got there and she’s half naked! And that’s only cuz she has my jacket! Who does that to a girl and leaves her in the middle of a crime scene!?” Reddick wiggled his eyebrows, “Naked ehhhhhh?!” Meares immediately hit him, “No! She’s a victim, quite possibly a witness once we get through to her!” Although his face burned, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought the same thing. “…Well they knew someone would find her in a crime scene?” “Logical if it was accidental but then evidence has been moved, where’s the logic there, huh?” “Maybe forensics has the body.” “…Then why send me with the damn report like a body is there?” “Because they don’t like you, Meares?” “Fuck that. No wonder this department is a laughing stock…” He sighed angrily, “Look, if we have the body, great, but someone has tampered with that scene, and there’s either a secondary scene for her, or new forensic evidence at this one. Get down there with some people and figure it out.” His partner groaned, “Why me!?” “Because I’M staying with the victim for questioning, and hospital test results. I found her, her mind is clearly fragile, right now I am the familiar face-!” “Shouldn’t you be telling the department all this?” Meares glared at him, “Quit whining! Sure, I’ll do it. Can you please get down there – I really don’t want to leave her alone too long!” “Fine… fine, I’m going, but then get them to come straight out to me.” Reddick peered around his friend, “She’s a good-looking girl.” “Y-Yeah.” Meares also turned on the spot, you were looking at the hospital nervously, chewing your lip, “She is.” “And you’ve seen her naked.” There was a waiver of amusement in the other Detective’s voice, Meares turned back to him, snapping: “Will you get out of here!” ** Meares hung around in the hospital as long as he could before they forced him to leave to conduct their tests. Not before he took your hands and promised you he’d be back as soon as they let him. You did trust him, you knew that already – right now he seemed like the only person you could trust; and he’d brought you to a hospital and he trusted them to take care of you. You took a deep shaky breath as he let you go, but you knew everything was going to be okay. Once outside he called his superiors to tell them the news. That he’d found a secondary victim and that Reddick was back at the scene to retrieve any other evidence – luckily that was met positively and a forensics team was dispatched. Although Meares did mutter something about lack of communication under his breath. He had to voice his concern now: “There were no police or detectives on the scene – things have been moved, or must be missing. Someone got a second body in there between them packing up and me arriving. And conveniently no one was around to see anything!? And if I just missed them, then I’d say the killer was watching us, or the building. You have the body right-!?” “Yes. Meares, don’t you worry about that.” “Why send me with paper work?! This all seems fairly suspicious to me!” He was rambling and he knew that he probably shouldn’t have let that become more than just a thought, but Meares couldn’t help it. “You’re not shouting conspiracy, Meares?” “Are you giving me reason to?” There was silence for a moment, before a heavy sigh, “We’ll put you on the case team, see what you can get from our live victim.” “Thank you, Sir. They’re going to call me when the tests are finished.” With that they both hung up, but Meares couldn’t help but think that something was going on: after all, he wouldn’t exactly have called that answer straight. Much more like a bribe not to mention it. Someone isn’t saying something Meares… Watch your back… Was the only conclusion he could draw, dropping his mobile into his pocket he leant his head back against the waiting room wall and closed his eyes. He’d figure it out; that was his job. *** He was woken by a nurse, who led him into a back room. “Well, it’s all fairly conclusive Detective.” “I do like easy.” Meares grinned, but she didn’t find his joke attempt amusing, so he cleared his throat, “What happened to her?” “A fairly heavy dosage of sedative. Ketamine.” “She was drugged? That makes sense… isn’t that like a date rape drug?” “Correct. Although the rape kit has come back negative. And she didn’t ingest it, it was injected into her.” “Someone really knew what they were doing.” She nodded, “She’s not a regular user?” “No. No recent tracks or scars in her skin, she’s clean apart from this.” Meares nodded, mulling the information over, “You say fairly heavy… enough for the memory loss she’s experiencing? There’s also gotta be a reason why I didn’t realise she was alive, right? But Ketamine elevates heart rate?” “In small doses – but this wasn’t a small does, Detective. As for her memory, I wouldn’t say so but it could be a stress reaction, we don’t know what else happened to her tonight, or at any other point. It doesn’t have to be related to the drug.” “I guess I’ll only find out when her memory returns.” “Yes, but she’s doing very well, she’s certainly open to talking to you – in fact she asked for you.” “No doubt, do you think she’s ready for questions?” “Go easy on her, Detective.” “Oh, I promise.” Meares nodded, and he meant it, “Just one last thing. I found her at a crime scene, we had a body that had been almost completely lacerated. When I turn up on the scene her body is in the same place. Could… could it have killed her?” “Any sedative in a high amount could yes, but not the amount in her. Perhaps it is only to sedate the victims until the killer is ready to…” the nurse paused, not willing to spout conjecture, “I will say this, at least, she’s very, very lucky you found her Detective. Less she become just like your body.” “On that, I’m sure we can all agree.” When Meares reappeared in the room that you’d been set up in, your heart couldn’t help but give a flutter of excitement – he surely was a very attractive man, and kind too, although you weren’t sure if you could call him your knight in shining armour. A knight in one-hell-of-a-suit, maybe. Though you noticed his shirt was untucked and his tie a little more slacked than it had been previously. You were dressed in a hospital gown now, but you were still clutching his jacket. His scent was unfamiliar to you, but it was one you liked. Meares sat next to you, once again taking your hand in his; you thought your pulse might run wild and suddenly felt light headed – but you controlled it. “How are you feeling?” “Alright, considering what happened… And thanks to you, god knows what would have happened if-” He stilled you, “Hey, you don’t need to think about that. Sounds like you were on one hell of a trip!” the grin indicated he had just cracked a joke, although your laugh was more embarrassed than anything else, “I… suppose.” “I’m sorry-” His eyes left yours, “I have… never been too good with my comedic timing. I wanted to ask though, Y/N, if you’d be up for answering some questions of mine?” You weren’t sure how much help you’d be, but you certainly wanted to help him. “Of course, Meares, anything.” Anything. His heart almost skipped at that, heat rushing back to places it had no business being. Anything was a big word, and he could think of plenty of things he wanted that were certainly not appropriate to bring up right now! He took a slow breath, c’mon. Be professional! For once! “Well, hey, we have your name now at least. And I have a little data on you from the hospital – with your consent to use it, of course. So, I know your address, we can get you back home, maybe that’ll help too.” Yes, he had your name, and you certainly liked the way he said it. “Oh, of course, use whatever will help your case.” Meares nodded gently, “Well, let’s start simple, do you remember what you were wearing?” “Uhm. Yes.” Although you chewed your lip, blushing – and he caught the red. “It’s okay, it stays in this room.” “Just a short black dress, off shoulder, low cut. Maybe even very low cut. Small split up the side… I remember… I remember thinking that I had to wear my sexiest dress. That was very important.” He raised an eyebrow, “Hot date?” “I-I don’t think so.” Although maybe you’d count this… interview… “Shoes?” “Good heels, yes. But also black, nothing fancy. Uhm, some… obscure brand that you only find in stores like T.K.Maxx…” “So we’re looking for a dress and heels. That’s good, you’re doing great.” He squeezed your hand, “Anything else?” You shook your head, “No, I… I wasn’t wearing-” “Oh. Oh, no, that’s- That’s okay… Dress, heels. We’re hoping your items are at a secondary crime scene. So, any detail is good. Do you remember anything, about where you were?” “…Some crowded part of town. I know, that doesn’t help any but…” “Well, do you have any idea what time? We have plenty of ways of figuring out where – sounds like you’re heading for a night out.” “Yeah, uh, 9:30, maybe closer to 10?” You scrunched your face, “That’s habitual. I don’t think I was meeting someone…” “Well, there’s security footage in the busy parts of town as you can imagine, so, I’ll get a team working on that.” “Thank you.” You took his other hand, and instinct laced your fingers with his, “Meares, I… I don’t know what I would have done if-” “I said don’t think on it. You’re safe. Keep moving forward, okay? Well, okay, maybe any information you do remember would still be good!” You giggled, then gathered his jacket and held it out for him, “And for this, especially.” “Oh!” He looked a little bashful for a second, “It’s not anything anyone else wouldn’t have done.” “But it was you.” There was another silence of understanding as you looked into each other’s eyes; his really did change just like weather. “No…” His tone was quiet, and he pushed it back at you, “Keep it. It looks good on ya.” “Y-You think?” “Mhm.” That small smirk was playful, and made more than just your stomach flutter. Oh… “Well, I guess I should thank you once more, detective.” “Don’t mention it… Just keep talking, maybe that’ll trigger something.” He had the right idea, but for the investigation it proved rather fruitless. Eventually he stopped you, just because you were getting so worked up about it not being useful. But he did learn a little bit about your life, even the most random of details helped Meares build up a picture of you, and that could really help him figure out the ‘why you’. It wasn’t necessarily the same person that had done this to you as had killed the first victim, but if it was there could be a connection somewhere. Perhaps a crime of opportunity, but that was down to Meares and his detective skills to figure out. Some details that you could remember were patchier than others, and as you struggled with the want to give him more information you became less forthcoming with anything you thought was unusable. Meares had taken notes and finally pocketed his notebook. “Y/N, I promise you, everything you’ve told me is important. It helps us build a profile of the person we need to catch too. Maybe there’ll be similarities between you and our victim. Trust me, in an investigation like this no detail is useless or too insignificant. Everything counts. And you’re brave for going through this with me.” He stood, leaning forward he kissed your forehead and you gasped, making him think that once again he’d screwed up professionally. Though Meares was hardly sure he was thinking professionally at the moment; you were a nice girl. Someone he’d actually want to hang out with… that wasn’t just your body talking to him, although that was a somewhat delightful image still burned into his head. He would do anything to bring the person who had done this to justice, he vowed that to himself. “Stay in the hospital tonight, just make sure you’re okay and I’ll come back in the morning, alright?” You nodded, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, Meares.” Today, by the looks of his watch, but it was still dark. Not tomorrow until you’ve been to bed-! was a rule he liked living by. “Goodnight, Y/N. Try to get some rest.” You smiled, watching him leave, and wishing he didn’t have to go: “Goodnight Detective, you too.” *** Meares did turn up at the hospital the next day for you, and seen as they were good with discharging you, he offered to drive you home. At first you thought that would be fine but, under Meares’ gaze in his car, this time your heart kept running away with your thoughts. He really was gorgeous, and now you were seeing him in natural lighting those blue eyes were even more stunning. Even when you stole glances at him and traced that side profile… Should you be thinking this way about him? Meares was supposed to be investigating what had happened to you, after all. You doubted he’d be able to have a relationship with you; not when the investigation was open. He’d noticed these shy little glances of yours and could barely hold that smirk back, you must have been checking him out. Meares was fine with that of course – and this morning you’d walked out of hospital with his jacket on, and he wasn’t reserved about admiring you in it, especially now sitting in his car again. He knew your address but he was certainly taking the scenic route, Meares’ drive was leisurely at most. Once he did pull up at your home, you were both clearly disappointed. You hesitated, staring up at your front door. Thinking he should probably be being the gentleman right now, Meares rounded the vehicle to open the car door for you – but you just kept staring forward. “I don’t want to go.” Your voice was timid, but he still caught it. “What? Why? You’re home.” “I don’t feel safe here. Not alone.” You shook your head, seemingly shrinking back into your seat, “I can get people posted, or watching the house, if you’re not comfortable.” You shook your head again, “What if whoever did this is watching the house-!? What if they’re waiting for me to be alone, Detective?!” Meares opened his mouth to try to calm you down, but this time his joke faltered. He couldn’t forgive himself if something happened before he arranged for someone to watch out for you. “Y/N… I don’t know what else I can really do with you.” Your big eyes looked up to his, pleading, “Can’t I stay with you? For a little? Until I feel safe again.” He almost did a double take, and hoped he looked level and not like he was about to punch the air – a little like what was happening in his head – “…I don’t know if my supe’s are gonna like that. But I can sure ask. They might pull me off the case to do it. But your safety should be paramount, and you’re a key witness. It’s just-” You knew exactly what he was getting at but tilted your head, “Just what, detective?” Meares for once opted not to run his mouth, and swallowed thickly eyes flicking down your body again – he hoped inconspicuously – “…It’s nothing. Don’t worry. I’ll call them. I have a spare room, don’t you want to collect some things first… though?” So, Meares found himself dropping you at his house. Although he didn’t see how this was helpful for you, considering he still had to leave you alone and work on the case at the precinct. He guessed no one was going to think of finding you here. And, obviously, he was secretly elated… Even though Meares guessed he was about to get heavily reprimanded for this. And he was laid into quite hard, despite his – fairly calm – explanation as to why. Oh yes, of course he wanted to raise his voice, yell about it to be heard – but he didn’t think that would help him in keeping you at his. Upon offering to hand the case to someone else in exchange for making sure you were truly safe, his superior immediately scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve done the hard work.” “I don’t want to compromise anything!” “You should have thought about that before you agreed to let her stay.” “So pull me off, like I said. You have my write up… She’s scared, she doesn’t remember things, I found her… I just think giving her some familiarity and comfort right now is a good idea.” “Familiarity? In a house she’s never seen before?” “You… know what I mean.” “Just, be sensible, Meares.” “Yes Sir.” “You do know how to do that, don’t you?” Meares made the mistake of laughing, and it wasn’t met well, before he turned serious: “Y-Yes. Of course.” The case itself brought about good progress very quickly, with all your files back from the hospital and his own notes – coupled with what they knew about the victim, and witness interviews begun, the team were beginning to shape a picture of events. Fingerprints and DNA helped narrow the list of people who would have been around the warehouse recently, and soon interviewing witnesses became interviewing suspects. Your dress and shoes had been found well within a mile radius from the warehouse, and whilst sweeping the areas around, needles – one containing Ketamine – were also recovered with the DNA of both you and the victim. General consensus was the killer had tampered with the crime scene. That raised questions of its own; why, and how had they been able to? Meares believed that’d lead to some internal investigation – and he was still mindful to be cautious around others in the department - but right now catching this person was paramount. *** Your relationship continued to grow. Although Meares was very careful with what he told you. You understood why, this was his job on the line after all. But of course he kept you updated on your own case; he was determined to catch the person who did this. It was good to see how joyous he became the more information he gathered, and how Meares would always announce ‘we’re close!’ if you asked for an update. You weren’t sure exactly how true that was, considering he’d been saying that for weeks, but you couldn’t help but be happy that he was happy. Detective Meares made you feel safe, safer than you had been for a long time. And as you started to remember little pieces that would help him, Meares got excited to grab his little recorder to make sure he had everything right. You continued to get closer, and you were sure by now you’d outstayed your welcome at his place and you should be heading back home – but neither of you raised the subject of you leaving, and he never asked if you were safe enough to go home, even though it was obvious by your attitude and body language that you were. It started slow – to build to something more than the victim and the detective who had saved your life (probably), you were sitting on the couch together watching TV. Not even a movie, just news reports, but you leaned into him, head on his shoulder. For a moment Meares tensed – not in an uncomfortable, ‘I don’t want this’ way, but in a ‘is this really happening?!’ way. Meares didn’t dare breathe for a minute, and yet as if to prove how much you meant it, you cuddled into him a little more, soaking up his bodily warmth. Meares’ smirk was a little too smug, but you were smiling too, and your cheeks began to hurt as his arm snaked around your shoulders and he pulled you a little closer. Meares knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this. But, fuck it, when had he ever really listened to rules and procedure? You were beautiful, no, you were gorgeous. Wasn’t it the first thing he’d noticed about you anyway? He pulled your body into his, hand settling on your waist; and you didn’t complain. Maybe Meares was right, maybe you wanted him as bad too. Was that a good thing? Well, he knew he would certainly choose to believe it was.

 Pretty soon that dynamic changed, and cuddling on the couch turned into making out on the couch. It didn’t take much persuasion; he’d been staring at you like that ever since he’d first met you and you were certainly hot on him too. As you both leaned closer Meares tilted his head, smirking “Whatcha thinking about Angel Face?” And how you almost returned his smirk as you looked deep into those ever-changing blue eyes, “Kissing you.” Angel Face - That was his nick-name for you, even if he wouldn’t admit how he came to that conclusion, and it just stuck. You soon found out that if you ran your fingers through his hair Meares would groan into the kiss - and it was no wonder that he always liked his hair being messed up. Clearly it was even better for him when you did it. Professionalism be damned, the detective was not about to resist you. And he’d offered to be off the case, fair and square, he didn’t see how they could blame him now. Especially when you looked like that.

Being with him was just so easy; old enough to know better, young enough to still be playful - but he could bounce back from any fuck ups, a little headstrong and rough around the edges… No one was ever perfect though. A good man, even if he spent his time making inappropriate comments or jokes - just as often in content as in his timing. But all of that just made you love him more, that attractive face of his (not to mention his voice) was the best bonus. It only made you wonder what was under his clothes… after all, he already knew what was under yours. And you were fairly certain that was an image burned into his head.

This meant Meares had a particular way of staring at you; you wouldn’t call it predatory, but it had that kind of effect on you. Your pulse ran and your eyes widened and sometimes you struggled to breathe against the weight of his stare; drawing his eyes slowly up and down your body, tilting himself to get better views of you. The way his lips parted and he ran his fingertips over them, or sometimes his tongue before he smirked. Of course he wondered when he’d get to see you naked again. You weren’t sure if that made you more or less scared of it being an eventuality. Sometimes you shied away from him completely. Sometimes you had the confidence but found yourself unable to speak it.

Today was not either of those. Today the stars aligned all from a seemingly innocent sentence. If Meares hadn’t wondered aloud if you were ready to return back to your own house then you probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity to take his hand and turn him back to you. You found the words to be honest: “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be alone. Or without you. Again.” For the first time Meares saw something in you that he hadn’t before. Whilst the sentence had been said in all innocence there was a wildness in your eyes. An untameable force that somehow you were holding back. You very nearly stole his breath with that look alone. He kissed you hard and fast; slipping out of his own jacket before reaching out to pull your hips to his.

When he broke away from you, the look on your face was of slight wonder. Yet that wildness was still there - and the trembling he felt under his fingertips was not because you were nervous and scared. It was because of what you were holding back: this didn’t match the personality that you’d been showing off to him; shy and sweet and delicate. Meares wondered which was real, this or the girl he thought you were just pretending to be. Cupping your face in his large hands his next kiss was delicate, lips barely touching yours. “Don’t hold back now Angel Face.”

He found himself yanked back to you almost angrily by his tie, the look in your eyes not hiding now. Oh, you didn’t intend to.

 ***

 He was falling for you. And hard. Meares didn’t want to call it love yet, but he thought it could be. He wasn’t sure he was simply in lust with you - but he’d keep that option on the table. You were always lingering in the back of his mind, and now he knew what your sex was like you weren’t just an image of a naked body, but a whole experience. And every so often you’d use this to your advantage, and send him pictures that made him smirk and text eagerly back: ‘Bad girls get put in handcuffs, you know?’

 Of course, all this had to happen right around the time of the major case break through. And not a breakthrough Meares particularly wanted. One day he was called down to the forensics room, and was faced with a mix of items of both yours and the first victims. They had been through everything again, and again, and again and nothing. Meares hoped that today was the day they’d finally find something that would help. “Detective, we will have to simply call it.” “We can’t give up on them! The killer is still out there!” “There’s nothing more we can do. Nothing - if we go on evidence alone now, logically there’s conclusions that must be drawn.” Meares sighed and placed his hands flat on the table, stretching his body back behind him; “Give it to me again.” “There’s NO other DNA in that warehouse, on her clothes, nothing.” “No other person?” “None.” “No evidence that anyone else was involved?” Meares wanted there to be another angle, something beyond what he felt – with dread – that this was all building to. “No. And we have tested and retested everything.” As you well know, this seemed to say. “…What about our first body?” “Well, here’s the interesting thing.” “What?” And why hadn’t this ‘interesting thing’ been raised!? Meares knew he sounded more annoyed than he did elated at this potential breakthrough. “Same sedative.” “So what, they were coming back for her?” That didn’t make things any better. He certainly was glad he’d found you if that was the conclusion. There was awkward hesitation, before the technician cleared his throat: “…Prints on the syringe are hers.” Meares raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding: “They… forced her to do it to… herself?” “Meares…” The look was pointed, “You know what the evidence is saying.”

Meares set his tablet up on the kitchen side, staring at it hard, before taking a stylus and trying to connect all the dots virtually. He’d been trying to do this in the office all day - and he almost had it but there were blanks that he was drawing that he still didn’t understand. They could easily have forced you into it, he doubted they’d forced you to inject someone else. But he suspected they could have had you self-inject. That’s what Meares wanted, but that wasn’t what the evidence was saying. That was never what the evidence was saying.

He had to be sure, and he’d found the security tapes of the warehouse opposite: terrible quality of course, and grainy. They’d already been dismissed by the team as being insufficient to gather anything from. But if you looked hard enough, if you knew what you were looking for, you’d find it. And he unfortunately did. This figure that he was seeing was you. It had to be you - it wasn’t like he could see your face, but he was living with you. He knew your body, he knew the way walked, the attitude you put into steps. This wasn’t that shy act either, this was careful and calculating. The person he knew, sure, but there was a horrendous chill that ran up his spine. Like he was watching some kind of horror movie. No one else went in or out of the warehouse after you. Then you came back out - he fast forwarded all the police investigators turning up - but you returned later… then nothing, until he showed up. And Meares knew the rest.

 “Oh. SHIT.” His head bent forward and he rested it on the cold side. It’s you. It had to be you. Meares couldn’t help but admit his heart was a little broken, that he felt a little nervous and sick. Where were you? Were you here? A killer in his house; someone he trusted, he had feelings for, that he’d told about his life. Was everything you’d told him about yourself a lie? You didn’t remember anything, because there was nothing to remember. You’d killed someone, drugged yourself to make yourself look like a victim… watched the warehouse while the police did their work… but why? The why had him so confused. And it was a question he couldn’t answer. Meares wouldn’t put you in handcuffs until he had the whole story.

 But he heard the sound behind him all too late, and as he straightened to react you grabbed him. Meares didn’t really have time to struggle, you’d been watching him - and bless his heart he was struggling. With the truth - but he didn’t know the whole truth just yet. You placed your hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out and sunk that needle in; no hesitation in injecting the heavy sedative into his veins. “Figured it out yet… Detective?”

 ***

 Meares took a little longer to come around from the sedative than you’d have liked. No doubt it was the same one that you had used on yourself and your victim. Damn did he feel like an idiot. And drowsy. And have one hell of a pounding headache.

Didn’t take very many of his detective skills to figure out he was tied to a chair, hands bound too. He thought back to that first description; bruising and ligature marks. Looking around it seemed a little like he’d been put back in another warehouse. Though this one looked a little cleaner than the one he’d been investigating. Eventually his eyes fell on the figure approaching him; and Meares glared.

“You?!? It was you all along?!?” He sounded much more hurt than he wanted to, “Why would you do that?!?” You stopped a few feet from him, hands in your pockets, head tipped as you surveyed his body. It was slightly gratuitous, but he could hardly complain about it after what he’d been doing to yours. Meares supposed that he should be thankful he wasn’t naked. Then again...

You took a breath, and once again answered too honestly. “For you.” Meares squinted, disbelieving: “What the fuck!?” That made no sense. “Are you kidding!?” You shook your head, “Detective Meares I’ve been watching you for a very, very long time. And is it any wonder, just look at you.” You paused, biting your lip seductively. He hated to admit it was almost working, “...What better way to finally meet you? And the fact that you were the first man on the scene for me. Couldn’t have worked out better.” He swallowed, backing up as far as the chair and restraints would allow: “There’s better ways to get my attention.” “Oh, but it did... didn’t it. Get your attention.” You took a step back, but your eyes didn’t leave his, “Or I did.”

Meares face was illuminated fairly well by the dim lighting, and his cheeks flushed. Yes - but he’d only admit that in his head right now. Of course you’d caught his attention. Look at you. You were gorgeous.  ‘She’s a fucking killer though, Meares, c’mon!’ Although he wasn’t really listening to that reasoning anymore as his eyes flicked up and down your body once more. He found himself struggling against the restraints. You smirked, “I wouldn’t do that, they’re your handcuffs.” Meares did the unexpected and smirked back, with a raised eyebrow, “Little kinky?” You gave him a look of amusement, but disappeared for a moment into the gloom. That made him panic a little and strain against the cuffs and binds again. No luck.

When you returned you placed a stool in front of his chair and sat opposite him, twisting the keys to his cuffs around your finger. “You want out?” Meares stared at the keys for a long while, before looking back to your face, then the keys, and then your face once more. When that gorgeous blue returned to the keys, Meares took a deep breath; he wouldn’t lie, he was in two minds here. ‘What’s she gonna do if I say yes, actually this is weirdly turning me on. If it weren’t for the context I’d actually quite like her to be in charge if we’re gonna fuck?...’ His eyes returned slowly to your face but you recognised that swallow; you knew exactly where Meares’ mind was at and what you were doing to him. That man was craving you, even now. “What are you gonna do to me? You gonna kill me now?” “Nothing you won’t like.”

A shiver of excitement ran his spine and he cursed himself, the widening of your smirk meant you’d seen it, and the way his pupils dilated. “I want answers.” “I don’t think you do. You want means and motive. I saw opportunity and your jurisdiction.” “You drugged yourself, stripped naked and… no maybe that was for me.” You enjoyed the way that blush rose on his face again. “Yes, Although I wasn’t really meant to inject quite so much sedative. I’m sure your labs will figure I have enough immunity to have got back to the crime scene after stripping off before it kicked in. And yes, of course for you.” You tilted your head, arms folded for a second, “I didn’t meant to go that hard; and it did affect my memory momentarily.” “You’ve… also obstructed the course of justice.” “There was no attack for me to remember.” “And the guy you… lacerated?” You shrugged, “Just some guy.” “...You- he was a random vic?” “Not entirely, but I’m sure you know by now he won’t be missed.” “You can’t just… do things like that.” Meares’ look was hard, his tone disgusted. “No, but I did.” “You’re psycho-!” “Little emotional there, detective.” He scoffed, “You expect me not to be?!” His eyes narrowed and for a moment hurt genuinely flickered across his face: “I can’t believe I fell for you, can’t believe I slept with you. Holy shit what have I got myself into-!?” “I just told you…” Your voice softened, and you leant forward, hands on his knees you pushed his legs apart. That shade of red on his face got deeper as his eyes widened: “So what, we’re gonna hate fuck now?” Your head tipped and you said it almost sweetly, “Not exactly.”

For a moment you left your stool and sat between his feet, arms up over his left thigh you leant against leg, eyes almost pure and innocent. “Oh. FUCK!” He had to voice something in realisation, after all. “Baby…” You ran your fingers up his inner thigh and loved the way he tensed under you, “Just let me take care of you.” “Y-Y/N…” His breathing hitched, should he want this? Shouldn’t he watch this? This was certainly going to fuck up his case. If it wasn’t already fucked. “You’re so god damn sexy when you’re frustrated…” Your voice purred and his body threatened to shudder once more. Meares felt himself getting hot, and that feeling was very quickly travelling down his body. “Geez, will ya just do it?!” His voice a mixture of anguish and yearning. There was underlying lust there too you were certain to capitalise on. You were certain you’d probably let him go; you didn’t want to have to kill him… What he would do to you, you weren’t sure. But you knew the implications of his relationship with you to the case. Well, he had warned them.

 You smiled gently, eager to please, pulling the stool forward with your foot you sat back on it, leaning up to kiss him. “Do you want out of the cuffs?” He thought about his hands in your hair, about the control that would give him. “Mhm…” His voice wavered with what he was trying to hold back, you reached behind him and unlatched them, “Don’t worry, Detective, I trust you…” “I don’t know if I trust you,” then he smirked, “Angel Face.” You tsked him, giving him one last slow kiss, before your hands travelled to his belt, “I probably should have told you not to call me Angel… but that might have given it all away…” “Oh yeah…” Meares groaned at the sound of his zip coming undone and you sank back onto the stool properly. “That woulda done it…” You leant back on his knees, smile playful, “Just relax, Meares. Enjoy yourself.” “I’m not sure I’m gonna call it that right now.” You ran your tongue across your lips to wet them, “We’ll see, Detective… I’m sure you’ll find a way to appreciate this.” “Well…” He breathed deep again as you forced his legs a little wider, bringing his hands around, just itching to tangle in your hair, “Won’t say I won’t love the view…”

---

Cheers guys, I owe ya!  🤣

[therandomfish]

Power Rangers Samurai Rewrite

Power Rangers is an amazing show with a rich history and a tapestry that is beyond anything we have ever known. However some of the seasons just sucked… but unlike series like Turbo and to a greater extent, Operation Overdrive where there were seasons on either side of them that made them tolerable and gave us something awesome to cleanse our viewing palate on we didn’t have that with Samurai and Megaforce with both seasons being awful for different reasons. Samurai was just bad due to it being a direct copy of the sentai story and Mega-Force was bad due to it’s laziness. So I have decided to take an idea of attempting to rewrite history and instead rewrite a season of Power Rangers.. specifically Samurai and Mega-Force with hopefully better story and character development.

I’m beginning with Samurai first. We open pretty much how the actual show started with kids kidnapped by moogers who then come face to face with the Red Samurai Ranger however Mentor Hajun Ji is back at the Shiba house and is sat with a com set on and is talking to the red ranger, he easily takes care of the moogers and the kid who survived watches him leave and mutters “Power Rangers”

The Red ranger returns to the Shiba house and demorphs. We meet Jayden who is a bit of an arrogant dick. Mentor Ji tells him that the moogers are becoming more aggressive and it may not be long before Nighlocks start coming through. Jayden isn’t worried, saying that he can take whatever comes through and that the threat will end with him but Ji disagrees saying that they need to find new rangers to bring about the next generation of Samurai rangers. Jayden doesn’t want to saying that there are no other new generations and that he is the last one (they share a look) and Ji then tells him to look out for those in the school he goes to who embody the traits of the Samurai and he will do the same elsewhere. While at the school, maintaining his cover Jayden sees Kevin who is regimented and has the disciplined and he also sees Mia who has patience even when she continually fails at cooking. He leaves them notes in their lockers. Ji is out at a park and he sees Emily sitting and talking with a young boy and some bullies come over to make fun of him and asking if he’s having a girl fight his battles for him, then Mike enters on his skateboard and he is older than the bullies as well as more athletic (think of the bullies as a mini Bulk and Skull) so the bullies run away. This immediately sets up the Emily and Mike relationship with Mike coming to Emily’s rescue and her defending the boy. Ji recognises the compassion in Emily and the boldness and tenacity in Mike so he gives them notes as well.

The others all show up at the Shiba house where Ji explains to them why they are there. Jayden scoffs over the choices of Mike and Emily and tests them both with a bamboo sword. He knocks Mike down multiple times but he gets up again every time with Emily being able to fend off his attacks and learning to keep the others safe as well as things around the Shiba house. Jayden is impressed and so hands them the Samuraisers and they go to fight an group of moogers. They morph for the first time in the Shiba house and leave as Rangers. A Nighlock emerges and fights the rangers and through them working as a team they destroy the Nighlock. Ji is concerned upon their return and wonders why the Nighlock didn’t grow with a shot showing the destroyed Nighlock pieces as it dissolves to the Netherworld where a ship floats on the Sanzu River and episode one ends.

Second episode introduces the villains. Octoroo is wandering up and down the ship and is very anxious. Dayu enters and they talk about how the Samurai rangers and now all back and just when having the one around was bad enough. However they are stopped by Xandred who doesn’t have a body yet. He is a part of the Sanzu river. He curses the previous Samurai Red Ranger for putting him in this state but knows the if the moogers and his Nighlock servants raise enough fear then the Sanzu river will flow into the human world and the Netherworld will merge with it causing Xandred to have enough power to restore himself to his corporeal form and take over. Xandred demands to know whats going to happen with the Nighlock that was destroyed. Octoroo says that he’s going to send a new Nighlock who can grow giant after being defeated and said he needed the previous Nighlock’s energy to use for Master Xandred’s use. Xandred is pleased by this but also wonders why Dayu is there as she wasn’t in his favour last he checked. Dayu responds by stating that Octoroo needs her and Xandred can’t stop that.

Back with the rangers they start to train with Jayden and learn about their zords with Ji telling them about how the Nighlocks normally growing to giant sized. We also see Mike notice the motorbike and asking about it with Ji saying it was his. The new Nighlock emerges with some Moogers and they go to fight. They fight and defeat it with this one going big and the folding zords are invoked with the armour mode in the zords like in the actual show still happening. They defeat the Nighlock and Octoroo is annoyed but vows that he will restore his master and they will take the human world.

Over the course of the first season we see episodes dedicated to the rangers themselves learning about them a bit more with ironic monsters of the week being involved. Mia would have a mind that is focussed on following the instructions when it comes to something like baking but it still doesn’t come out right and she gets frustrated and ends up bonding with Emily who helps her understand that a little love and caring doesn’t hurt. Kevin has his jealousy of Jayden moment where he talks about preferring himself as Red Ranger and they both have a “Oh I’m a bit of a dick” moment. Mike has an episode with him and Ji where it’s revealed that Ji was a lot like Mike, so alike in fact that he used to be the previous Green Samurai Ranger. Emily has her moment when the Nighlock uses horrible memories against Emily and it turns out that a Nighlock hurt her big sister who was usually the strong one but after she was attacked Emily had to step up and became the strong one. But as for who that Nighlock was, let’s leave that for now. Finally Jayden’s episode has Antonio, his old friend coming to town to stay. They reunite after having spent years apart and Antonio already knows about the Samurai Rangers so he becomes an IT assistant to Ji and they all get on with that concept; we also learn that Jayden misses being able to be normal sometimes.

Moving on from that we get introduced to Decker and Serrator. Serrator is a Nighlock general that once led a nighlock army. He comes in and takes control away from Octoroo as well as taking his place as Xandred’s whisperer. Decker emerges in the human world and fights against Moogers and a Nighlock instead of the rangers who watch with amazement as he calls the nighlock “scum” after he cuts it down. He also challenges Jayden who refuses and Decker says that eventually they will duel as he will be the only challenge Jayden will see is worth fighting. He can still switch between human and Nighlock but he fights the moogers as a human which makes the rangers hopeful then turns into his nighlock form when he faces the other Nighlock.

Moving on past it we learn about the Octazord and it’s inability to listen to anyone else. Ji eventually sees it talking to Antonio though he tries to keep it a secret til he can figure out why it’s talking to him instead of the other rangers and he didn’t think Ji would believe him if he said he wasn’t doing it on purpose. Ji instead attempts to help Antonio and they look at the Octazord together.

Moving on we end up with a Nighlock that can turn humans into Moogers but only until it’s destroyed unless the moogers go back to the netherworld then it’s permanent. It gets nearly all the rangers except for Kevin who runs back to the Shiba house with the other’s morphers who were all dropped when they were turned. Ji and Antonio talk about the Octazord who gives them a vision of a gold ranger that can help. They end up combining the octazord tech with Ji’s old samurai morpher into the gold ranger morpher which leads to Antonio becoming the gold ranger and a part of the team.

The end of the season comes in the form of a two parter where Octoroo finally sends out a massive army of moogers along with Serrator and Dayu into the world to end the rangers and prepare the world for Xandred’s return. Serrator leads the charge and fights the rangers, beating them so bad they demorph. However before Serrator can attack another figure steps in and morphs into a female version of the red ranger. She attacks Serrator who falls back and goes off to spread fear. This is still Lauren and she still left when their father died in order to learn how to destroy Xandred permanently. Jayden reveals how he used his father’s old morpher and she has the traditional one that he refused to use and that he wanted to be the red ranger but Lauren was older so that’s just the way it goes. Lauren is introduced to everyone and Jayden immediately sees Decker who challenges him. He leaves with Antonio to fight against Decker while the others follow Lauren after she gives a speech about them beating them back. They fight against the Moogers and Serrator. While Jayden fights against Decker, Antonio fights against Dayu and she reveals through their fight that she and Decker are connected and all she knows is that she must be with him when he falls. Antonio beats her and she flees with Jayden and Decker coming to a stalemate and Decker, apparently recognising his link with Dayu leaves too with Jayden and Antonio returning to the fight and they finish off the moogers while Lauren demolishes Serrator but before he dies he goes back ot the Netherworld.

However upon his return, Serrator is used by Octoroo who planned it so Serrator would be weak, apparently enough fear has been created that Xandred can leave the Sanzu river but as a spirit and he inhabit Serrator who dies as Xandred takes over. He laughs and says that Serrator’s body is only temporary until he has enough energy to bring himself back to his proper form.

We see Lauren reunite with Ji and she begins bonding with the rest of the team. Jayden admits he’s happy to be done being Red Ranger as she takes her rightful place as team leader but he’ll still be here to help in the fight and at least they have a spare red ranger now. We then see Decker stood outside the house and smiling to himself, thinking about what the future holds

[tirednotflirting]

couch cuddles - l.h.

school is kicking my ass and I miss my friends like mad so yes, I projected all of that here at around 2am after yelling about this sweet pic of Luke with @castaway-cashton​. 

hope everyone is finding ways to manage all of the time indoors these days. I’ve been thankful for the community on here during all of this. much love and happy reading (and pls send me thoughts, I’m still new to this and horrible at editing).

wc: ~1.6k

They were nearing the end of their third week in quarantine. Three weeks of being locked up inside (aside from a brief gloved trip to the grocery at the beginning of week two). 21 days of zoom meetings with her graduate advisor and radio interviews on facetime, of creative pasta dishes (the one thing had randomly stocked up on even before this all happened), of afternoons in the backyard watching Petunia run in circles until she stopped in front of their chairs, her sad eyes practically begging to be taken to a dog park that was unfortunately closed until this was all over.

They had settled into a routine pretty quickly. She wouldn’t start her work before 9 and unless he had some international interview he had to take part in, Luke would do the same. She would plug in her laptop and stick her phone on do not disturb at 6pm sharp. Luke would keep his stuck in the deep pockets of his sweats, always eager for a sporadic facetime from a tipsy Calum asking to let the dogs say hello or Ash calling for him to listen to a new melody he had thought up or Mike sending him another twitter meme. They switched back and forth on who made dinner, Luke had been enjoying trying things from the beginner’s cookbooks his mom had sent him sometime during the last year. They watched a lot of movies. She read a lot of books, he spent a good deal of time playing around with different songs they had been trying in the studio during February. With everything going on, she figured there were worse ways she could be living than doing what she could for her research and TAing from the comfort of her sweet boy’s kitchen table.

She had started to pick up on his cabin fever when their day began at around 5am with Luke shifting around in the bed so much it almost felt like he was doing something choreographed. After 15 minutes of his dance, she sat up on her elbow and reached for her phone to check the time. She didn’t remember exactly what the bright digits displayed across a picture of Luke and Petunia with flowers tucked behind their ears she had snapped a couple months prior were other than too early.

‘Honey, are you feeling alright?’ she asked quietly, her throat dry from sleep, as she leaned back from the bedside table. Her hand moved back to cross his chest as his own wrapped around her waist.

‘Yeah, just can’t get comfy,’ he huffed, obviously frustrated by the random early morning energy. ‘Gonna go let Miss P out for a minute. Go back to sleep, angel, you need your rest.’

While she wanted to further investigate what was up with her tired eyed boy, she immediately felt herself yawning. She lifted her head from his chest and pressed her lips to his jaw before letting her head fall back to the pillows as she felt his weight lift from the mattress.

When she woke up next, it was to the sound of her alarm and an empty bed. She padded out to the kitchen and was greeted with a kiss to the top of her cheek and her coffee. (‘I think I got the sugar to cream ratio right this time but please give me feedback, lovie.’) She shrugged off the morning, brushing off his odd early jitters with the fact that they had both been getting a lot more sleep than normal given the new situation.  

She had been busy throughout the day. It was a Thursday, her busy day, even with the quarantine. In the morning, she zoom called her advisor to check in with her more personally but also to update her on where she had gotten that week with the data she had been sifting through (being stuck outside of the lab made for good reason to finally do some data work). She did a meeting after lunch for the undergrad course she was TAing this semester. Though that discussion section had basically turned into everyone just talking about their pets and families more than talking about evolutionary theory (they needed to see faces though so she didn’t mind the chatter). She held virtual office hours after that for a couple hours (more chattering with a little bit of explaining how that equilibrium equation worked again).

So by the time her 6pm switch to do not disturb rolled around, she was more than looking forward to spending a few hours on the couch with a glass of wine and the new book she had ordered that arrived that morning.

She’d been settled on the couch for about 15 minutes and was raising a stemless glass of pinot grigio to her lips, when she looked through the big window in the living room that gave a nice view of the yard only to see Petunia wandering around but no sign of her golden boy. She looked to check what page she’d reached, mentally marking her place before getting up to look for where Luke had wandered off to, when she heard socked feet shuffling into the living room behind her. She turned her head to find the sweet face she hadn’t seen hardly at all since she was handed her morning coffee so many hours earlier. His normally bright eyes looked worried and his dimples hidden by a pouted frown.

‘Sweet pea, what’s the matter?’ she questioned, the hand not holding her novel reaching for his once he’d wandered close enough to where she sat on the couch, her left leg still folded up while her right rested against the floor, ready to get up to hug the droopy boy. She doesn’t get a chance to though as he moved to sit beside her, his fingers playing with hers almost nervously.

‘Miss the guys,’ came a quiet voice that sounded like it was coming from a tight throat. ‘And like, we’re so lucky here. And the album is doing well and the fans have pushed so much on this release. And we’re healthy and everyone we love is healthy but,’ he blinked really hard before continuing, ‘I just wanna see them. Like actually see them.’

She leaned forward to leave her book on the coffee table before moving her hand to rub at the back of his neck, her fingers working through the knots in his curls there, trying to get him to release some of the tension in his shoulders. ‘And I love being here with you and we would never normally get this much time together during an album release and I know I shouldn’t be whining and-‘

He stopped short when she pulled her hand from his and placed it against his cheek to turn his face towards her. ‘Babe, you don’t have to apologize for feeling right now,’ her thumb stroked against the top of his normally rosy cheek. ‘You’re allowed to be upset and you’re allowed to miss your boys. You’re never gone from them for this long, it makes sense.’

He opened his mouth to respond but then just nuzzled against her palm when she shushed him. ‘And I love being here with you too but that doesn’t mean I’m not bummed that my sister canceled her trip out here and that I don’t miss seeing my students every week.’

Across the room, the clatter of Petunia’s paws against the tile in the kitchen sounded out as she trotted towards the couch. Luke sniffled a little bit, and the girl he’s practically sitting on top of felt a tear against the thumb still running across his cheekbone. Petunia must have sensed the sadness coming from the couch as she jumped up and pushed herself against Luke’s legs, looking up at him for pets.

Luke blinked back tears again, his head leaning back to face the ceiling and the hand at the back of his neck moved to scratch between his shoulders. ‘I know it can’t make it go away but how about cuddles for a bit and then we can facetime everyone after dinner? See what they’re up to maybe?’ she whispered, suddenly aware of the stillness of the room.

His lips pouted a bit as he nodded and turned to her. ‘Can I lay in your lap so Petunia can get cuddles too?’

She let herself giggle softly at his request, not being able to help herself as she leaned forward to brush her lips against his pout. ‘Of course, sweet pea.’

He maneuvered his long limbs so Petunia was tucked against him (easiest access for tummy rubs) and laid his sleepy head in his girl’s lap. As one hand returned to the glass of wine beside her, the other combed through the bleached curls, softer than usual from the hair mask she convinced him to do with her earlier in the week. Though her heart ached that she couldn’t give any better of a solution to the way her sweet boy was feeling, she knew something was right by the way he quickly fell asleep, his lips pouted against her leg as he rested. She returned the glass to the side table and carefully picked up her book again, moving slowly so she didn’t disturb the sleeping boy in her lap. However, one hand did stay tucked into his hair as even in his sleep he would start fidgeting some if he couldn’t feel the lazy patterns she drew through the curls.

Later that night, as she finished rinsing their wine glasses from a late dinner, she heard his loud, bright laughter followed by ‘Baby, you gotta come see the costumes Mike and Cal got for the dogs! And bring your laptop, we need to find a pink Power Ranger costume for Petunia!’

She chuckled as she set the last glass down on the drying rack. Yeah, they were gonna be alright.

//

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[tozierpunks]

I’m always here for Reddie and stanpat. So. reddie & stanpat Conception AU

ashbot you’re the only one who truly loves me sometimes ❤️just a heads up, it’s a lil nsfw, so dig on this:

the story starts with mike teaching a classroom of 5 year olds, and he wraps up the lesson with, “any questions?” and little 5 year old Elton raises his hand and goes, “where do babies come from?” Mike’s face proceeds to drop to the floor

another little kid, Emmy, goes, “I’ll draw it for you Elton, it’s real weird.” AND NOW MIKE PANICS AND TAKES THE PAPER AND TRIES HIS BEST TO EXPLAIN, “it’s not weird! it’s... normal.” and a third kid (Cher) chimes in: “my daddy said the mommy poops out a baby” and Mike resists the urge to roll his eyes

cue title card and now we cut to our first couple of the story: stan and patty. now they’ve been trying forever to have a baby, but they’re struggling. patty is a doctor and stan is an environmental science teacher, they’re doing well, and now they’re on a special plan to get pregnant bc they’re ready, it’s time

so he comes in with the fertility shot, patty’s leaning against the bed, and he’s clearly nervous but this is his wife, he loves her, he wants this baby too, so he’s gonna help and he says, “i’m really afraid i’m not gonna be good at this.” “i’m afraid of that too babe.”

she instructs him tho, “hold it like a pencil, stick the needle in really quickly- like a dart, check for blood, and if there’s no blood then push the medicine in.”

“... okay but... if there’s blood... i might pass out. Maybe I should put some pillows down like a stuntman-”

“am I just gonna have to do this?” “No!” and she held her hand out to take the needle back but he just high fives her and counts down, “Three, two, two and a half-” “Stan.” AND HE STICKS HER AND SHE STARTS SHOUTING AT HIM

“OW, FUCKER!” “YOU SAID LIKE A DART!” “WELL NOT LIKE A FUCKING JAVELIN!”

stan, perplexed, stands there and patty shouts, “WELL PUSH THE MEDICINE IN.”

stan, still shaken: “OKAY, OKA- CAN YOU BE NICE TO ME?!”

“I HAVE GOT A NEEDLE IN MY ASS RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh babe there’s blood, I’m gonna be sick.”

And Patty is rolling her eyes while Stan needs to take a breather bc he really can’t handle the blood

NOW SCENE CUT TO REDDIE where it’s a little less romantic, a little more Fight Club

richie planned a whole day bc at the end, their surrogate was supposed to call to let them know which designer baby was chosen - so, richie’s spermies for a boy or girl, or eddie’s spermies for a boy or girl

but eddie comes storming into the house to see his boyfriend - not husband, but boyfriend - on the couch, and he marches straight to the bedroom to grab richie’s bat, comes back out, and smashes the tv

“WHOA, EDS, WHAT THE FUCK-” “GET YOUR SHIT OUT!” “YOU JUST SMASHED A THOUSAND DOLLAR TV-” “GET IT OUT, I’M CALLING OUR SURROGATE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE, JUST GET OUT! IT’S OVER!” he slams the door to his room, leaving richie dumbfounded, but ofc he comes right back out

“you didn’t even ask why i smashed the tv, you just said ‘that was a thousand dollar tv’!” ofc richie’s gonna bite back tho, “okay, fine, let’s ignore the property damage. eddie. what’s wrong?”

“YOU! You took my money-” “our moneY? in OUR bank account?” “and who put that money there? what’d you spend it on, richie? baseball? football? fucking ice skating-” “I’ll get it back-”

“great! mail it to me!” and again, he storms off. so obviously they’re in a pickle but more on that later.

BACK TO STANPAT BEING GREAT, Stan flops on the bed and groans, “this baby making stuff is really hard.”

“yeah but now comes the fun part.” “you’re gonna watch me play video games?” “no, we’re gonna have sex!”

stan doesn’t look as excited as patty hoped and she’s confused as he covers his face and goes, “babe... i kinda did it, with myself, in the bathroom-” “YOU MASTURBATED? WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY, YOU CAN’T-” “YOU LEFT SOME KIND OF WOMEN’S CATALOG-”

“No, take your clothes off-” “Pat, respectfully, I have to take a raincheck-” “No! Take your frickin clothes off, you’re fucking me!” and ofc stan is pretty turned on by his wife being bossy, he can work up another small soldier in his pants maybe... probably... hopefully

so while they’re waiting for him, patty explains all the stuff he can and can’t do

“you’re gonna need to drink plenty of fluids, cut back on things like flaxseed-” “aw babe, I love flaxseed.” bc stan got jokes and patty just stares at him before adding, “and you gotta switch to boxers, the testicles need less restraint-”

“babe, i know you’re a doctor and you have to say that at the hospital, but when you’re at home, could you call them balls? like, stan your hot sweaty balls aren’t good for making babies-” “babe, i have to fuck you right now, stop.”

their banter is everything, and as they climb into bed, patty stresses that missionary position is more likely to get her pregnant, and stan is skeptical, “that just sounds lazy on your part.” but alright! and they do the do, and eventually patty tells him she orgasmed and stan is AGAIN SKEPTICAL

“what? no! You scream a lot when you orgasm-” “oh that’s just for show”

stan found dead in his bedroom

“this baby making stuff just keeps getting better and better.”

and as patty is lying there, hips elevated to help the spermies flow their little way up the pipes, she looks at stan and smiles, “i know this is a lot babe, i’m sorry. I just really want a baby.” and stan smiles back and kisses her hand, “i know pat. me too.” “will you stay with me?” “of course.” and they get to lie there together and be cute

NOW BACK TO REDDIE WHO ARE CLEARLY HAVING ISSUES BUT, EDDIE COMES OUT AND THREATENS TO CALL THE COPS, BUT RICHIE TAKES HIS PHONE AND ASKS, “WILL YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT STARTED ALL THIS, EDDIE? PLEASE?”

and eddie slumps against the wall and explains, “I thought having a baby would fix things. I thought I could get over your aversion to getting married, but I’m sitting at the stoplight, and I realize... everyone’s going somewhere. Everyone’s moving, but me.”

“Well that’s what you do at a stoplight-”

“Shut up Richie.” and Richie tries to reach out to touch Eddie but Eddie kicks him away and scoots to the other side of the wall, leaving Richie to sit in his spot

now they’ve been together since high school, they’re thirty now, and richie still hasn’t hinted at marriage. Eddie’s been ready since 24, and six years is a long time to wait for someone to mature. He really wants this baby, and he really wants a life with Richie, but he doesn’t know how to stop wanting to get married. If Richie doesn’t want that, where does that leave him? he doesn’t know if he can wait much longer for this man to be ready to grow up and start a life

so Richie sighs and goes, “I didn’t spend the money on sports stuff or gambling.” and he pulls a little velvet box from his pocket and slides it over and Eddie’s eyes widen and all Richie can hear from him is, “ohhh”

“I hate you, Richie.” and Richie snorts bc he loves Eddie so much, he knows that EDDIE KNOWS, he’s in the wrong. not richie. “I’m sorry-” “I love you, Eddie.” “I snapped-” “Clearly.” “That was really extreme-” “You’ve always been extreme. You threw the first rock at Stonewall- I mean, Henry.” “Shut up.”

and they start smooching on this apartment floor, but it quickly turns into a frantic fuck bc MAKE UP SEX!!!! WOO WOO!!!

when richie’s in the tub and eddie’s washing his hair, they get the call and the surrogate tells them she chose one of each bc the doctor said it was a maximum of two, they’ll find out in two weeks if it worked and then later, what they’re having!

cut to a couple months later, patty comes home and slams a sonogram on the table for stan to see, and he’s fighting the biggest goofy grin, “what’s that?” “a tumor.” and ofc he’s :/ “no it’s not.” “no it’s not!”

meanwhile, eddie is pacing in his apartment while richie lies on the floor and the surrogate is on speaker, “I didn’t think both eggs would plant! You guys are sure you can handle two kids?”

NOW, FINALLY, CUT BACK TO MIKE. THE BELL RINGS AND HE BREATHES A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF. ALL THE KIDS RUN OUT OF THE CLASSROOM TO THEIR PARENTS.

Emmy runs off to meet her mom and dad, Patty and Stan Uris

Elton and Cher are hoisted up by their dads, Richie and Eddie

the four of them wave to their old friend, Mike

the end :3

[thewritingstar]

I would ask you 1-100 but that's a huge request and doubt you'll do it, UNLESS🤔🙃

UNLESS....

1. Name- Deanna or as everyone knows me, Star

2. Nationality- American

3. Age- 19

4. Birthday- April 5th

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)- Aries

6. Gender- Female 

7. Sexuality- Bi/Pan (im fine with either)

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)- Dark brown hair, greenish eyes and body of a 12 year old boy

9. What do you/did you study?- Animation

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?- I work in an ice cream shop just as a job but i wanna be an animator or writer for shows

-

11. Your birth order- Youngest of 2

12. How many siblings do you have?- One

13. Do you have good relations with your family?- for the most part

14. How many friends do you have?- I would say I have about 8 close friends and then just a ton of other friends

15. Your relationship status- single but accepting applications 

16. What do you look for in a SO?- usually a pulse and good hair 

17. Do you have a crush?- kinda but also no

18. When did you have your first kiss?- haven't yet :(

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?- prob meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?- smoking and drugs and how they treat others

-

21. How was your day?- well i just woke up so i guess good. 

22. Favourite food & drink- Raspberry iced tea/Vanilla Lattes and Chowmein or burgers

23. What position do you sleep in?- either on my side or stomach. Im usually curled up in a ball so prime cuddle position...just saying 

24. What was your last dream about?- I think it was about cake..

25. Your fears- bugs and the overwhelming thought of me being a failure

26. Your dreams- being someone where others can be inspired by 

27. Your goals- to live a life with no regrets (i know typical right?) but also have a successful career. 

28. Any pets?- 2 doggos 

29. What are your hobbies?- drawing, painting, writing, video games, reading 

30. Any cool places in your area?- kinda but you gotta drive to them so not really 

31. What was your last awkward situation?- me stuttering over my words at work

32. What is your last regret?- idk 

33. Language/s you can speak- English and barely any French 

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)- hell yeah

35. Have any quirks?- i can make a guinea pig noise and can stand on my head for a while. 

36. Your pet peeves- having my neck being touched and mouth breathing

37. Ideal vacation- Any disney park

38. Any scars?- only mentally 

39. What does your last text message say? “Shes being a big girl and taking 5 classes.” 

40. Last 5 things from your search history- im to lazy to check but prob youtube or fics

41. What’s your [device] background?- Phone background is a painting from a museum and my computer is a bunch of Nintendo items

42. What do you daydream about?- being a voice actor or a pirate 

43. Describe your dream home- one that looks like a castle

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion- I was raised Catholic but i really dont practice it anymore. I think it its a beautiful thing and alot of good comes from it, however i dont like it when it is used to harm others or defend evil people

45. Your personality type- So i took a test based on the 16 different ones and I am an Advocate type which apparetnly is very rare and less than one percent of the pop are it. https://www.16personalities.com/ heres the link if you wanna take it!

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done- I used to suck on batteries as a child

47. Are you happy with your current life?- for the most part 

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life- Snorkeling in Hawaii (which i almost died), Crystal Cave tour and donuts which i hate

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?- hoodies and graphic tees 

50. Favourite colour to wear?- black

51. How would you describe your style?- comfortable and sometimes i look good 

52. Are you happy with your current looks?- ye

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?- I want blue hair one day 

54. Any tattoos or piercings?- have my ears and now my nose pierced but i do want tattoos in the future

55. Do you get complimented often?- usually for my hair and i find it happens often 

56. Favourite aesthetic?- Gothic and pastel 

57. A popular trend that you dislike- crop tops 

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?- “Good Night Moon” by Go Radio

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.- My Little Pony and Sofia the First songs slap

60. Favourite genre?- pop punk or pop 

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? -Panic!, Taylor Swift

62. Hated popular songs/artists?- I wouldn’t say hate but im not really a fan of Billie Ellish, maybe i need to sit down and really listen but its just not my jam. I think shes a cool person and i love watching her on tv and what she stands for. By i hate Drake and Chris Brown for sure. 

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5- Head above Water, Happy when im sad, Love bug, Casual affair, I believe. So Avril Lavigne, Jonas Brothers and Panic!

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?- Im not the worst singer but im also not fantastic and i can’t play

65. Do you like karaoke?- sometimes

66. Own any albums?- like cds then yes

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?- not anymore

-

68. Favourite movie/series?- Any disney or pixar 

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc- YA like adventure books 

70. Your fictional crush/es- oh here we go. Juvia and Gray (Fairytail), Catwoman, Danny Phantom, Captain Hook and Regina Mills and Henry (Ouat), Steve (stranger things), Riddler (gotham) and Molly Hooper (Sherlock) and prob more. 

71. Which fictional character is you?- prob a mixture of Momo and Deku from My Hero and Honey from Ouran 

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so. Am I a shipper? ha. aight Gruvia, Nalu, Gajevy, Jerza, Kiribaku, Kacchacko, Todomomo, tododeku, LadyNoir and the love square, Captain Swan, Outlaw Queen, The powerpuff girls and the rowdyruff boys (respected partners) and like five thousand others

73. Favourite greek god?- Hades and Persephone 

74. A legend from where you live that you like- literally nothing from where i live

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?- love art and i cant just pick one

76. Can you share your other social media?- i mean you can follow me on twitter at StarsnShortcake but all thats there is my shitty tweets and interactions with my friends and Voice actors lol

77. Favourite youtubers?- Mikes Mic, Macdoesit, Twamiz, Larri, Dan Howell, Amazing Phil, Jenna Marbles, Shane Dawson, Steph Inc, Garret Watts, and like a ton more

78. Favourite platform?- Tumblr or twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?- too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?- I love anything Nintendo

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)- Kingdom Keepers, Suicide Notes and the Selection Series to name a few

82. Do you play board/card games?- Yes

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?- nope

84. Favourite holiday- thanksgiving for the food

85. Are you into dramas?- ye

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?- haha ye

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?- no racism, sexism, homophobia and legal marriage everywhere. Also that no one goes hungry and everyone has a nice place to live.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?- probably 

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?- a hot demon

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?- I turn into a goddess

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?- ooo Celeste is a cool name 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?- hmmm Tara Strong 

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo- either the stars or the black heart or the fireworks

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true- Ive never eaten a chicken nugget, I can do the splits and I have cat

-

95. Cold or hot?- hot

96. Be a hero or be a villain?- oooooo um im a sucker for villains

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?- Rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?- Shape shifting, i could be a plant

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?- bold of you to assume i would wanna live forever

100. ….. or …..?- :0

--

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ANON CAUSE IT TOOK FOREVER. 

[marlonrae]

&. SASHA VISITS MONA!

who: @fckmonax​ and sasha; preston’s friend. & marlon. where: mona’s place warning: highkey! problematic! - nsfw ig.

SASHA

knocks on the door a few times and waits, scrolling through her phone

MONA

jumps at the sound of a knock on the door, carries ven with her to go open the door “Hopefully you’re not a murderer!” opens the door, grins at sasha, pulls her in for a hug “Wow, I totally forgot I invited you over.”

SASHA

laughs and shakes head, rolling her eyes at mona's comment ''Am I that irrelevant? I don't think so.'' chuckles and gasps when she looks at ven ''YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE, WOW.'' grins widely and strokes Ven's cheek. ''Oh my god, pictures don't do her justice, look at her.'' pouts

MONA

laughs, shrugs “What can I say? My brain has been very occupied with all things Venecia all morning.” steps aside to let her in, grins at the compliments, knows they’re all true “Wanna hold her?”

SASHA

grins, looking like she won the lottery. ''Yes, of course, yeah.''

MONA

chuckles, pushes the door closed “She’s like the easiest baby ever, I promise.” kisses ven’s forehead, carefully maneuvers to hand her off, switches to baby voice “Hey Venny. This is mommy’s friend. She’s gonna hold you for a bit, okay?” doesn’t let got until sasha has her securely

SASHA

grins at both ven and mona and holds her like a pro, placing a hand in the back of V's head. ''Ugh, I already love her so much.'' looks down at Ven and kisses her cheek gently. ''The most beautiful baby ever, I SWEAR.''

MONA

smiles proudly at the two of them getting along so well “Isn’t she just the best? I am totally obsessed with her and I’m glad you can see why.” pulls out her own phone, snaps a pic of them “Seriously, though. I’m not sure what I did to be blessed with a baby girl so perfect. I can’t wait for her to be just like me!”

SASHA

''She really is the best.'' cant stop looking at Ven and giggles when mona snaps a picture of them. ''You need send me that asap.'' nods ''For sure, she's gonna be just as beautiful as you are when she's older, you'll see.''

MONA

nods, immediately sends the photo over ”Oh, please. She’s gonna be prettier than me. We don’t even look like mother and daughter.” pouts

SASHA

furrows brows and looks at Ven and then at Mona. Hums. ''How does her dad's side of the family look like?''

MONA

“Dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin. They’re Puerto Rican.” navigates through phone, pulls up a pic and hands it over “This is her Aunt Mariana. She literally looks more like her than like me.” pouts

SASHA

looks at the pic and frowns, def seeing the resemblance. ''I mean, yeah, she's pretty and all but I'm sure Ven will grow out of it and look more like you as she grows older.''

MONA

“I wouldn’t mind if she continued to look like Mariana though. Mariana’s gorgeous.” shrugs, sighs “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” leads the way towards the kitchen “Preston’s weird about his stuff, so maybe don’t touch anything?”

SASHA

shrugs, not at all impressed by mariana's looks. ''Yeah, I guess she's alright.'' looks down at ven and smiles, blown away by how adorable she is. ''Hm, do you have snacks?'' giggles

MONA

looks at them adoringly, checks through the cabinet for snacks “Looks like we have potato chips... barbecue ones, oreos, an assortment of fruits. Sorry that the selection is kinda lame.” shrugs “We can also go out if you’d like.”

SASHA

hums ''Do you have ketchup?''

MONA

quirks brow “Yes...”

SASHA

“Potato chips with ketchup are a blessing.” grins excitedly

MONA

makes a disgusted face “Would’ve never guessed that you’d be the type for that combo, but who am I to judge?” grabs both the chips and ketchup for her “Want me to grab her?” gestures at a now asleep ven

SASHA

''I can't believe she fell asleep on me.'' smiles and pouts at the baby. ''I love that she's comfortable, ugh but yeah, I'll take her again in a bit.'' very carefully hands ven over

MONA

“She’s probably exhausted from the sleep she didn’t get last night.” takes ven, rocks her to keep her asleep “That and she’s totally comfortable with you.” puts ven in her crib, walks back out with the baby monitor “But I didn’t ask. How are you? How is life?”

SASHA

frowns ''Why? What happened?'' totally walks into the kitchen as if she owns the place and grabs a bowl for the chips and pours ketchup all over them. ''Life is good, a little uneventful at the moment, but good. Michael's been working a lot lately and that's super boring.'' sighs, eating her chips. 'Want some?'' offers the bowl ''What about you? Your life seems to be much more eventful than mine.''

MONA

“No clue. She just had energy all day and night for some reason.” sighs, shakes head “Literally P and I got no alone time.. if you know what I mean.” watches her, genuinely confused by the chip situation, shakes head “Your whole life doesn’t revolve around Michael though, right? - Unfortunately, my whole life does revolve around Venecia.”

SASHA

frowns ''If you ever need alone time, I could help babysit. Just give me a call.'' smiles and shakes head ''No, it revolves around my phone, mostly.'' laughs ''I truly don't have a life but I don't really care, it's fine. I'd love to have more action or drama but I guess I'm lucky I don't.'' shrugs, eats more chips

MONA

“That would be amazing, but that’s what my sisters are for. I would never pass on an irritable Ven to you.” chuckles “I’ll get them to babysit some time while we hang.” shakes head “Believe me you do not want drama. What’s so entertaining on your phone though?”

SASHA

''I doubt she ever gets irritable.'' chuckles, is literally loving her chips. ''But I do, nothing exciting ever happens for me. I wanna be involved in something entertaining. Do you get drama often?'' chuckles ''Honestly, social media, online books and youtube.''

MONA

scoffs “Play one round of peek a boo with her and you’ll see how irritable she can get.” sighs “Honestly.. So much. Like a sex tape of me and my sister’s husband literally leaked a few months back. Drama follows me everywhere, so if I could have it not, that’d be ideal.”

SASHA

gasps, puts the bowl down ''A sex tape with your sister's husband?'' jaw drops ''Please, elaborate.''

MONA

sighs “Well it was old first off, and he wasn’t her husband at the time of filming.. was her boyfriend, though.” shakes head “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s way too soon for you to know this about me.” chuckles “But we were both just kind of going through weird stages in our relationships and we did something stupid.. multiple times. And I guess at some point in our drugged out, sexed up state, we thought making a video was a good idea.” sighs “I didn’t even remember any of this, but kind of just had to put the pieces together when suddenly there was evidence of it floating around.”

SASHA

is shocked and wide-eyed but lowkey loves everything about the story even though she probably shouldn't. chuckles. ''That's... terrible but amazing.'' chuckles again, shaking her head ''Is he cute?''

MONA

laughs, shakes head "I'm definitely going to hell for it, but you're totally gonna lose some points for that reaction." chuckles "You will not find him attractive. He kind of gives off Jafar from Aladdin vibes." pulls up a pic of marlon on her phone "This is Marlon. He's my best friend."

SASHA

jaw drops again, takes the phone and stares at it for a good 30 seconds before looking back at mona ''Oh... my god!''

MONA

takes her phone back, rolls eyes

SASHA

shakes head, shocked ''Mona, I know him.''

MONA

jaw drops "What?"

SASHA

nods, wide-eyed. ''It's kind of a long story but basically he was my brother's drug dealer for like the longest time and they would hang together and I always thought he was so hot and I was younger than him but I...'' chuckles, shaking her head ''... finessed him and I sneaked him in one night and yeah.'' shrugs and giggles. ''I had like the biggest crush but then he kind of like grew tired of me..'' pouts slightly ''... eventually I got over it, though.'' shrugs dismissively ''But woah, this is so bizzare.''

MONA

stares wide-eyed, listens, shook "Holy shit... He wasn't like, your first or anything, right?" pulls out her phone "I'm texting him right now. Can I invite him over?" laughs, shakes head "This is insane." laughs some more "And you genuinely liked him? Wild." laughs

SASHA

laughs. ''I mean, there was a guy before him but I was really young and  he was basically the first guy I ever had like real sex with but no, he didn't actually took my virginity, my neighbor Jason did when I was even younger.'' laughs and covers her mouth, shaking her hand. ''OH MY GOD! I haven't seen him in forever, that's so embarrassing.'' laughs and nods, figuring that this was truly the most problematic thing happening in her life in the past year or so. ''I liked him so much.'' shakes head, still laughing. ''I thought he was the hottest dude around. - I mean, he is kinda hot but please don't tell Mike I said that.'' chuckles

MONA

finishes writing out her text to marlon, focuses on sasha again "This is truly the strangest coincidence. I'm glad he didn't take your virginity though. That'd make him coming over here a little more awkward than this is already gonna be. " literally just laughs some more, trying to stop, failing "Dude, he's so hot. In a hot chicken kinda way, but hot. Obviously, I think so. I like... risked it all for him. We stayed friends though. Which is truly amazing."

SASHA

nods in agreement ''I only said kinda because I thought you would judge me but yes, he is 100% hot.'' laughs ''He just looks so different from everyone around and his face is so, so nice and okay I shouldn't be saying this but he was like actually good in bed in a lazy, high, kind of way. - I think that made him even hotter.''

MONA

"Why would I judge you? After that story I just told with him as the other person in the scenario? This is a judgment free zone." replies to marlon, continues talking "Oh god, we really shouldn't be discussing this.. but yeah. Those days where it just Marlon and I and a bunch of coke and molly? Some of my best days." groans, shakes head "Don't ever repeat this, obvi."

SASHA

''Of course I won't.'' laughs ''He 100% used me back then, we had sex like four times and he would never even call me or anything.'' shakes head and laughs ''I mean, it was enough for me because it meant he gave me a tiny bit of his attention and–''  M(arlon): literally walks in as if he's walking into his own apartment. ''Ramona, this better be good or else I swear I will shove my fist up yo–'' stops when he notices she has company. furrows brows  S(asha): looks kind of terrified but laughs ''Hi.''  M: raises eyebrows ''What are you doing here?'' looks at Mona ''What's going on?''

MONA

is kind of saddened by her story, doesn't have time to respond "Hey!" looks in between the two of them, a cruel smirk on her face "Marlon, this is my new friend Sasha."

SASHA

S: smiles mischievously and nods ''I'm sure you don't remember me.'' M: raises an eyebrow and shakes head, pretending to be oblivious even though he remembers every single lil detail about sasha ''I don't.'' shrugs, looking back at Mona ''Did you just bring me here to introduce me to a friend?''

MONA

scoffs, offended for her new friend sasha "Marlon, cut the shit. I can see it in your eyes, I know you know who she is, so how about not making her feel even worse than you did when you fucked her and ditched her all those years ago." rolls eyes, looks to sasha "Clearly, you missed out on nothing by him ghosting you."

SASHA

S: smirks, loving mona's attitude ''Yeah, trash.''    M: exhales deeply ''Did you expect me to propose?'' asks sasha, raising an eyebrow ''What are you two even doing together?''    S: ''Not really, a call would've been nice.'' shrugs M: ''It was ten years ago, Sasha. Move on, maybe?'' gives her a look ''Forreal, what's up?''

MONA

"Ah, so you do remember." shakes head "I gotta say, my sister really hit the jackpot with this one." is entertained by the whole situation "Nothing's up. We're friends now. Preston is buddies with her boyfriend, we met through them and realized that we kinda have a lot of common... Clearly more in common than we originally thought since we've now learned that we've both seen a scrawny chicken boy naked."

SASHA

S: laughs, shaking her head. ''I mean, I don't blame him. I've been told I tend to leave an impact on people.'' smirks, grabs her bowl of chips again.

M:  shakes head, staring at sasha and shaking his head when he sees the chips ''See, that's exactly why we never worked out. Why would I ever trust a stan of chips covered in ketchup?'' makes a face ''Disgusting.'' 

S: ''Hey!, don't be a hater.'' rolls eyes at him, hugging the bowl 

M: chuckles ''I guess rich, spoiled brats have a thing for scrawny chicken boys like me.'' smirks ''I can't blame y'all. I would too if I was dating the men you all seem to date.''

MONA

claps hands together, grins "This is amazing." turns to marlon "I was giving her a crash course, like on who I am as a person and why all the drama in my life isn't fun, so I mentioned that leak that happened a couple months back. And she was like no way, details please. And I showed her your pic and she was shook to learn that it was you. I am shook to learn that you two banged... Literally when she was so young, but we'll save that conversation." drapes an arm over marlon's shoulder " But yeah, I was telling her about we're bestest friends and you looove me." pulls him into a hug, dramatically kisses his cheek

SASHA

S: eats her chips, laughs at the summary ''Aww, I'm lowkey sad you guys didn't work out. It would've been so cute.'' half joking

M: nods and looks like the cloe meme as soon as mona is all over him but doesn't even move. looks down at his best friend ''Can you.. not?'' rolls eyes when she kisses his cheek but stays put ''I love her so much she's pulling this type of shit right now and I still haven't punched her in the face.

S: laughs and hums, putting her bowl down and walking over to him and grabbing his face before kissing his other cheek. laughs. 

M: shakes head and pushes the two of them away. ''Get off.''

MONA

"Nah, it was for the best. If the two of us actually became a thing, we probably both would have OD'd by now. Plus, there'd be no Venecia and that isn't even a world I'd like to live in." chuckles when sasha joins in, squeezes him even tighter, scoffs when he pushes them away "I mean, technically we have both gotten you off before... if that's what you meant by get off." winks, knows she's being horribly problematic

SASHA

S: rolls eyes and laughs, eating her chips again. ''I got you off several times. - Remember that one time   I got you off like twice in a three minutes period?'' smirks and looks at mona ''That was my personal best. I did good.'' chuckles

M: Knows hes going to hell and laughs at mona's problematic comment, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes at sasha. ''You want a medal?''

MONA

"Twice in 3 minutes? His little chicken dick was probably weeping with joy that it got THE Sasha," pauses, thinks "I don't know your last name, to BLESS it with her touch." shrugs "I don't know. I think she deserves a medal."

SASHA

S: laughs at mona's comment and nods ''He was so shocked, you could tell I was basically changing his life. - Sasha Cole, that's me.'' laughs ''It's such a pornstar name but I guess it goes well with my life-changing sex skills.'' smirks

M: ''You were also sixteen and I was a grown adult so we should probably never discuss that ever again.'' rolls eyes

S: shrugs ''That didn't stop you from fucking me, did it?''

M: ''It did.'' gives her a look. ''I'm guessing your men don't know y'all are speaking so fondly of my dick, do they?''

MONA

just observes the dynamic of the two of them, so intrigued "Huh. So your morals came into play, just way too late in the game?" shakes head "You guys were so messy. I love it." shrugs "Nobody's man gotta know about this conversation just like your woman doesn't need to know. Simple as that." ven starts crying on the baby monitor, nipples immediately begin to ache and leak "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back!"

SASHA

S: hums, frowns ''Is that seriously why you never contacted me again?'' furrows brows ''Because of my age?''

M: ''Yes, Sasha. Are you gon' cry about it?'' rolls eyes at her. ''Why would I ever tell anyone about this meeting?'' is immediately interested by P's knives and grabs one, is weirdly fascinated by it.

S: furrows brows and can't believe she's somehow feeling somewhat attracted to marlon at that very moment ''Preston doesn't like people touching stuff, you know?'' brows still furrowed

M: looks at S, staring at her for a second. ''Are you telling him I went through his shit?''

MONA

literally takes her time getting ven, debates feeding her but knows she needs to go back to her guests, carries ven out in her arms "MARLON!! What are you doing? Put that down!" hurries over "Give me that. Now." looks around frantically "Sash, here." unceremoniously hands ven over to ketchup hands, ven is now crYING "I'm not even allowed to touch these, why would you be?" looks through drawers for a cloth to wipe marlon's prints off with, puts hand out for the knife

SASHA

S: jumps a little at mona's reaction and struggles to grab ven without making a ketchup mess all over her baby clothes. starts to kinda rock the baby to sooth her but is watching the whole thing go down with furrowed brows

M: looks mad confused ''What the fuck are you doing?'' gives her the knife ''What.. the fuck.... are you seriously wiping prints off the knife?'' ainsley's face hits his mind ''Stop doing that.'' shakes aisnley's face away and furrows brows 

S: ''Shh, it's okay baby.'' rocks ven

MONA

literally ignores him, wipes the knife off soo thoroughly, carefully inspects it for any leftover marks, hums in satisfaction, returns it to its rightful place "Sorry, he just notices things, okay? And literally like the one rule I have here is to never touch the knives." sighs, stressed suddenly, takes a bottle from the fridge for ven and warms it, holds it out to sasha "It's not you, she's hungry."

SASHA

M: He's deadass so weird.'' shakes head ''You really gon' make ketchup hands feed your child?'' shakes head and takes ven from Sasha with one hand and the bottle with the other, showing pro skills at the whole thing. starts feeding ven and the baby is suddenly quiet and happy to be eating.

S: everything happens so fast that she's just observing, chuckling at how smooth marlon was at taking the baby and feeding her ''That's kinda hot.'' is wide eyed when she realizes she said that out loud.

MONA

"Ketchup hands was the one without a knife. I had to make a decision." shrugs, watches, smiles as he feeds his niece Clearly, you've had lots of practice." raises brows at sasha's comment, knows they've def crossed a line at this point "Sasha!" shakes head, chuckles "Was this a bad idea inviting Marlon over?"

SASHA

M: shrugs, not seeing the big deal ''Being a dad teaches you a thing or two.''

S: giggles and her cheeks start heating up. changes the topic. ''I mean, yeah. Good dads, though.'' shrugs ''Ven's dad can't relate.''

M: raises an eyebrow ''You got something to say, Sasha?'' 

S: laughs ''Hm, yeah. Ven's dad is a flop.'' shrugs, goes back to her chips.

M: ''Your dad is a flop. I mean, his teenage daughter was out there finessing grown man into fucking her.'' furrows brows

S: furrows brows, offended

MONA

cringes, really don't wanna be a part of a convo about fab, lowkey relieved when marlon changes the topic a lil, walks over, lightly and playfully slaps him on the side of his face "What teenager doesn't finesse grown men into fucking them? Shut up." goes over to sasha, pulls her into a hug "Stop being mean to my friend."

SASHA

S: is mad and lowkey sad because she ain't used to people being mean to her ''You were the adult so technically you were the one responsible for it.'' crosses arms over her chest and leans into mona's touch 

M: ''Right, that's exactly why I ended it.'' is annoyed ''Seriously, this was years ago, why are you so pressed? Chill.'' 

S: stays quiet and shrugs

MONA

frowns really upset by the turn this is taking "You're literally just being mean, Marlon." notices sasha going quiet, hugs her tighter, really ain't trying to lose this friend already just bc marlon is mean "Anyways. This was fun and all, but you can go now, Mar."

SASHA

S: gives him a look. ''What do you even get out of being so mean?'' frowns 

M: rolls eyes so far back he caught a glimpse of his brain ''Man, are you still sixteen?'' shakes head and furrows brows before looking down at ven and kissing her cheek and then her forehead. ''Take her.'' carefully hands her to Mona 

S: shrugs slightly again, frowning and hugging mona back ''You're gross.'' @marlon

MONA

frowns, gladly accepts her child, literally just ready for this all to be over "I'll talk to you later, okay?" also @ marlon

SASHA

M: gives mona a look ''Apologize to Hazel, you were gross.'' turns and stares at S for a quick second and reaches for her face, pinches her cheek. ''Toughen up, you're grown now.'' narrows eyes at her. ''You're cute.'' smiles, walks away fully aware he just rocked her world again.

S: is sixteen again and looks up at him, feeling flustered when he calls her cute and furrowing her brows when he leaves

MONA

rolls eyes "Yeah, obviously I will." watches his interaction with sasha, confused and kind of disgusted, shakes head "Alright, enough of that." shuffles him to the door, her hand on his back basically pushing him out "Goodbye, Marlon... We're definitely talking soon."

SASHA

looks like she's about to cry, grabs her bowl but there's nothing there. pouts.

MONA

shuts the door, turns just in time to see sasha's face "Please don't cry!" hurries over and pulls her into another hug, ven squished in the middle "I am so sorry, that was an awful idea."

[monkey-network]

WarioWare: The Series Season 2 Episodes

52 Episodes, Season 3 Coming 20XX. Season 1*

Business is Booming: Wario’s house blows up and nobody wants to take him in except Penny... without Crygor Sr’s permission. So Penny does her best to hide the 200+ lb man from her grandfather while bots are sent out to fix the house.

WarioiraW: One of Orbulon’s pets, a gelatinous blob that can take the form of any being, escapes and takes the form of Wario. This fools everybody in the fact that the fake is friendlier than the actual one. Even Wario, who plots to take advantage of his impostor’s kindness.

Spare the Rod, Don’t Spoil the Child: 9-Volt must wait to see a movie, one 18-Volt saw at an early screening. Known to be a blabbermouth, 9V does his best to shut out 18-Volt and spoilers of any kind before the event, which puts a strain on their friendship.

Jimmy Two Shoes: Jimmy T. wants to watch a game, but his tendency to not say no gets the better of him when everyone suddenly needs him.

Cricket and the Octopus of Fortitude: Young Cricket has to take care of Master Mantis’s pet while he goes to the doctor. The octopus doesn’t take kindly to Cricket’s overprotective nature, so it tries to outwit the apprentice with some outside help.

You’re Not Funny: An anonymous joke is emailed all across DC and everyone is laughing themselves stiff... except for Ashley and Mike, the latter believing the joke wasn’t sent just for the heck of it. The two go to uncover the truth, and it may be up to the not funny Ashley to snap people back to reality.

Fronkenstein: Feeling inferior due to his size, Snag, 9V’s Fronk, goes to build a new body for itself.... using body parts from the WarioWare gang.

Taxidermy: A customer hops into Dribble and Spitz’s cab and must compress his urge to make stuffed animals out of them, while the driving duo are completely unaware of his serial reputation.

The Nunja: Kat & Ana meets Artie, a wolf ninja who’s confidence is more than her actual skill. They see that’s she’s talented in a different field, but are conflicted to tell her the truth when she truly wants to be a ninja like her family.

One Perfection: A new student arrives at Mona’s school, and is seemingly flawless in everything they do. Mona feels inadequate compared to them, until she finds out a secret insecurity about them that she wants to help them with.

Monday Night Manor Madness: It’s a rainy day and the WarioWare gang coup up at a reluctant Ashley’s house. All goes well until a haunting spirit starts to spook everyone, with even Ashley unexpectedly shuddering at the thought of encountering it. What’s the spirit’s true intentions, and how is Jimmy not afraid of ghosts?

Meet The Sellouts: One of Wario’s schemes causes massive damage and the animation budget crashes due to the medical bills. So Crygor comes up with a way to work around this while Wario spams a bunch of ads subliminal messages to hopefully make money back.

Animal House: Mona’s pets and Kat & Ana’s pets join forces to commit a supermarket heist.

Ode to the Stone: 9-Volt makes a new pal out of a rock, glue, a sharpie, and googly eyes at school. Immediately losing interest, he tosses it and it not only reaches the rest of the gang somehow, but their hearts as the lifeless friend helps them see a new perspective about themselves.

The “Hero” Gains: Lulu* feels like she lacks a special hero attack, so she goes around Diamond City to see if she can have one of her very own. But like Wario always implies, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Drone Alone: Doris 1, the robot Crygor rescued from Agate forest, is left to take care of the lab while the doctor and Mike go to Penny’s talent show. Time unfortunately puts Doris on an emotional journey when an hour feels like an eternity.

Sea of Green: After a successful treasure hunt, Wario is stranded in the middle of the ocean with little to eat besides a bag of edible cacti. The cacti might leave an effect on him, but it might be the big guy’s only chance of making it home.

Late Night Cruise Control: When not on the clock, Spitz hosts a talk show that gives the latest news and brought in tons of celebrities. But when ratings start to drop, will our mechanic resort to low hanging fruit to garner back an audience, or can Dribble the music pitbull pick the show up from this funk?

Full Metal Jacket: Manager Joe, Mona’s employer and friend, creates a clothing line based on the WarioWare gang and everyone is loving it. But business becomes an empire and Joe starts losing that generous side he had, leaving Mona to bring him back down to earth.

Krumpet Scouts: 18-Volt is trying to earn money for a limited edition video game cover, but is too young for a job. He tries joining a cookie selling gang, but it’s for girls only. So he asks 13-Amp to join in his place.... while dressing up as a girl to make double the money.

Pyoro Over: The creators of Pyoro are retiring and the WarioWare gang set out to give them an explosive send off celebration since it was the company’s inspiration.

Your Greatest Feeture: Cricket’s shoes wear out and the young ward is struggling to find the right pair. But is the loss of his slippers an opportunity to learn a new technique?

Two Fros on a Sofa: Jimmy T and Jimmy P encounter each other at a bus stop and luckily finds a comfortable sofa to wait. The sofa, however, is actually a prototype rocket Orbulon left behind and the two have to work together to land the couch safely.

Flavorful Fallacy: Orbulon, realizing he left his couch in the middle of the city, goes to see where it might have gone. He meets an old man, who has a prejudice against aliens, and the two start to fight over which flavor of ice cream is better.

The People v. WarioWare Inc. (Part 1): A chipper and well meaning cult leader creates a lawsuit against the WarioWare gang for their unintentionally ludicrous crimes in the city. Wario doesn’t believe there’s a case against them, but testimony and evidence suggests otherwise and even with Mona knowing the law by hand, the gang can’t find a loophole to their reckless nature.

The People v. WarioWare Inc. (Part 2): The gang is about to serve jail time for their pretty criminal deeds of the past, but Wario’s encouragement and a special hint from the audience helps them realize that while they’re guilty, scapegoating the right person can lead to a means of escape.

Bored Games: Since the trial put everyone on edge (and house arrest), Jimmy invites the gang over for game night. Wario can’t join them, and this creates a vacuum as to who is the 2nd most conniving opportunist in the group.

Scientifically Supernatural: Ashley and Penny team up to create a being of both magic and nature and get along pretty well. The project, however, starts to rampage the town and the two fight over who’s responsible, with Red as the mediator.

Double Dribble: Dribble and Spitz enter their cab into a Rocket League type derby that puts their driving and piloting skills to the test.

He’s Back, An Unfortunate Revenge Story: Wario escapes from prison and plots to get his revenge on the one who put him there. Or ones...

The “Hero” Movie: Lulu enters a home movie into a film contest and wins thanks to Wario’s meddling. So after getting persuaded into competing for state, Lulu turns to Wario and he agrees to help if she constantly pays him, resulting in the two making “Ryno Optimus II, A Sequel to the Chosen One: The Unreckoning”

Mona’s Stop: Mona finds out that her checks have been sent to the wrong address for a while and she becomes a multi-millionaire. Knowing she’s been working pretty hard already, she retires early to become the queen of Diamond City. This would be around the time Wario tries to swindle her out of her fortune, but he’s surprisingly happy for her.

Head Boppin’: Jimmy, Jamie, James, Papa, and Mama T. have switched brains somehow. Getting back to normal seems easy... if the family didn’t act and sound nearly the same.

The Lazy Day Saints: Another couch related episode? Yeah, except this time 9-Volt rebels against his mother and chore day by turning the sofa into a pirate ship with Snag, 18V, Penny, Kat, and Ana as his crew. Knowing 9-Volt won’t back down without a fight, 5-Volt and the neighborhood moms fight fire with fire, using lazyboys as their vessels.

The Ultimate Foe: Cricket faces the most horrifying challenge of his life: a slab of silly putty.

Awww... Crap, Love: Ashley falls for a demon she spawned from the Necronomicon. And while Red tries to stop the demon from unleashing hell unto town, 5-Volt and Mona try to teach the stone faced witch about love, romance, the birds an- wait she learned that already, so just the first two.

Your Opinion?: Wario posts a negative review on a movie he watched, and the city turns against him. He easily ignores them at first, until everyone becomes nastier than him and the internet comes to life to kill him.

Join us for T-Posing: Dr. Crygor accidentally sets off a gas that forces everyone to silently stand in tree position... except Wario because it’s too hard for him. So I GUESS it’s up to him to reverse this before they’re all stuck like that? Ouch.

Magic Mike ACT: 13-Amp works well with music on the mind, but a challenge has arisen in the form of a standardized test... in a soundless classroom. Desperate for a beat to work with, she looks to Mike to join her in staying cool while dealing with the work and the no nonsense teach.

Spacecataz: Does anyone know how fictional characters are able to breath in space without helmets or oxygen? Eh, doesn’t matter... cocky alien hunter Spiff Gibbous* is back to destroy Orbulon, this time the WarioWare gang is in tow. It’s Star Wargames, ya’ll!

Knitwit: Dr. Crygor takes a major interest in knitting and this makes him a laughing stock among other mad scientists. Discouraged at first, Crygor soon schools his hecklers about the ingenuity of threading and needling.

Wario Und Pantser: In a 60s style episode, Wario-Man and Dynogirl (Mona) are on the case to find the criminal who’s been pulling people’s pants down.  

Flipping the L: Waluigi gets to be in this episode... and doesn’t know what to with his screen time. So what’s a reject to do besides immediately erase the show’s universe all together and come up with his own?

The Shuriken Heart of the Cards: 9-Volt wants to join Kat & Ana on their special delivery, Ana more accepting while Kat worries about him being a potential burden. However, when they get ambushed by skilled ninja.... card players, it’s 9V’s time to shine.

Stereo Street Fighter: An old foe of Master Mantis returns with a new style of fighting that towers Mantis’s more ancient techniques. Cricket, with the help of Jimmy T, try to master a new style of martial arts with the power of funk. The perfect time for Cricket to sport a rocking afro of his own.

You Have to Go: Death has come for Wario, but continuously gets sidetracked by the gang when they’ve yet to find the special treasure he buried somewhere.

Cadillacs & Yoshisaurs: I forget this is also Mario’s universe sometimes. So anyway Yoshi eggs start appearing in Diamond City and everyone’s loving them. But they’re then caught between raising pretty rowdy animals and letting a Magikoopa poach them away.

The LIVE WAHundredth Episode (Yikes, this many?): Wario is eager to celebrate the show’s special episode on stage, but somebody kidnaps the gang and leaves them in the middle of a forest, forcing everyone to work together to head back to the studio. In the meantime, Lulu and Joe are forced to entertain the audience and start to have fun with it.

Quid Pro Wario: Young puppies look to Wario for lessons on becoming con artists, with Jimmy P not taking this well.

How to Stop Worrying and Love the Cruise: 9 and 5-Volt are on a ocean liner they won in a sweepstakes and aren’t taking it well, with 5V struggling to have fun and 9V getting seasickness.

Get Nasty: Mona makes a painting everyone has mixed feelings towards it for being too obscene, so she tries to go wild with her art to get better publicity by being more shocking.

Wario’s World (Hour Long Season Finale): A fart fueled nuke sends Diamond City into a post apocalyptic setting, where a grown up Lulu leads a resistance against the Immortan Wario’s greed fueled wrath, Empresses Kat & Ana are at war with Cricket, Dribble, Spitz, and Orbulon fighting off a colossal meteor, and the only one who could possibly bring everyone together is Mike, 18 Volt (now 21 Volt), Red, and Ashley, who is dying from the putrid radiation.

[sassasquashedgrapes]

Another Story: A Glee x Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Cross-over

It’s me again! Your friendly neighborhood, Squashed Grape.  

It’s been a while since I got into the fanfic (or any literal stuff) and decided to do some fan service today.  This is an old post but a goodie.  You see, I’ve been a fan of Glee during the early days and was also a huge Otome player (lol. the closest to player I’ll ever be).  And made this fanfic cross-over of sorts inspired from the Voltage Inc story, Kissed by the Baddest Bidder.  Actually I *might* have switched the names a bit and the plot line is from the intro except for a few tweaks.  Anyway, I just wanna lay it all down there so nobody starts yelling bloody murder.  

After all, wasn’t 50 Shades like some fan service to Twilight, so haters can just move along now, Nothing to see.  

So without much further ado, a short story cross-over for y’all!!

By the way, be prepared for a series of long fanfics of Glee coming at your way. This is only just the beginning of the Hargreave brothers.

click below

Another Story: Kissed By The Baddest Bidder/Glee Fanfic.

I’ve always been a huge fan of the otome game and the delicious notion of having someone used up for bidding, using the Glee characters seemed absolutely too good to resist.  How could I? So shall we? Elian “Ian” Hargreave – Eisuke Ichinomiya Mike Chang – Soryu Oh, the cool mobster Noah Puckerman – Mitsunari Baba, the philandering theif Kurt Hummel – Ota Kisaki , the artist. Lol I know, Ota doesn’t swing that way but I always pegged Ota as a closet anyway. Cooper Anderson – Mamuro Kishi, the lazy detective and of course: Lucy Quinn Fabray – MC

Quinn Fabray is different in this storyline.  I made a parallel universe of sorts, changing a bit of her past to make her come to her present future.  So instead of moving to McKinley High, Lucy Q. Fabray’s father, Russel, dies of a heart attack and thus her mother remarries another man who worked as a hotel concierge manager in one of the most prestigious hotels in New York, the fictional hotel/casino Wyndham, (loosely based on the Waldorf Astoria) which is owned by then the family of Elian Hargreave’s grandfather who eventually takes over the hotel after graduating from high school.  Quinn has grown up in the hotel, pretty much understanding and loving every detail and aspect of it, treating it as if it were her own family since she pretty much lead a lonely life in New York, being a small town girl from Ohio who turned out to grow into a beautiful young woman.  This storyline is inspired by the Otome route of Eisuke Ichinomiya, whom I think was the best storyline for someone like her.  I’m way too biased that I don’t think I want to share Soryu Oh with her, hahaha.  Fast forward to the present, Quinn just graduated from Yale, but is now working he as a chambermaid in the hotel to earn extra cash at the same time pay for her college loans while she looks for a job.  

Prologue: As I feel a trickle of sweat behind my back while being in the middle of the spotlight, I start to wonder as I stare into the crowd facing me “how on earth did I ever come to this?”

12 hours earlier

“Good morning,” I greet cheerfully as I swing open the door in locker room of the female changing hall as if I’ve done so many times over.  I’m working during the summer as a maid at a hotel owned by the Hargreave Group, which is a large company that owns banks, trading companies, locally and overseas.  

“Good morning, Lucy,” greets Marley, one of the maids who also works part-time in the hotel.  I know for a fact that she looks old enough to still be in highschool, but I’ve never bothered to pry into matters like gossip. As long as they keep to their business, I keep to mine.  But despite it, I feel like I could confide in her because she seems so open and nice.

“The VIP convention starts today.  I am super excited,” Marley grins as she mentions one of the annual big events the hotel/casino throws.  

“I’ll bet you’d be way too busy to get excited since you’ll be working at the casino floor,” I grin back thinking how exhausted I’m going to be once this convention is over.  I’ve been living in the Wyndham since I was 15 after my dad died and my mother remarried.  I’d come to love it as if it were my own family and was familiar with its daily routine until 4 years ago when it underwent a massive renovation into becoming the first hotel/casino in New York.  It had been quite a scandal at first, with government officials opposing the idea of bringing “Las Vegas” to the metropolis, but the whole issue died down after a while and for the last two years, the Wyndham, became New York’s first legal casino and hotel.

“Don’t you wish you could work at the IVC?” Marley was referring to the International VIP Convention, one of the newly annual conventions frequented by Hollywood A-list stars, World leaders, socialites and big time businessmen who gathered once a year to play at the casinos and have a go into dabbling in a world of glamour

“Yeah, that would be great.” I agreed quietly.

“Well, that’s the goal of everyone who works here.” Marley sighed as she hunkered on the bench and rested her elbow on her knee as she propped her head on her hand.  “I’ve been dreaming about it ever since I saw it on TV. Seeing movie stars, top athletes, and other super famous people all over the world gathered here in this party.  I even heard Perez Hilton was so pissed that he didn’t get an invite.”  She pursed her lips conspiratorially.

“You know, when I applied for this job a few months ago, I didn’t think I was going to be hired that I thought I was dreaming when I actually did.” Marley grinned happily.  I smiled feeling how infectious her mood was, she was so upbeat by the whole thing, I didn’t want to look like a kill joy so I agreed.

“Oh my god.” She stopped suddenly as if she had thought of something of real importance.  “What if some rich, famous guy falls in love with me at first sight?” I hope he knows you’re barely 18, I mentally think and almost utter it out loud but I stop myself and….

“Haha, keep dreaming.” I just say instead.  

Whew, that was close. Our VIP guests are important, but I also value working for our regular guests, too.  I had just graduated in a Marketing degree at Yale, but with the recession, jobs were scarcely handed and I didn’t feel the need to dabble in doing freebies as an Intern in a big corporation, when I could be earning much more doing it here in Wyndham.  It really isn’t so bad.  I really didn’t care that much about image anyway since moving to New York.  Somehow the anonymity of it all had liberated me from the confines of the shallowness that I had experienced living in Lima, Ohio that I didn’t give a damn anymore.

I thought about the IVC, the International VIP Convention, Wyndham’s largest annual event is today and the international publicity with the media hanging around the area was totally insane. Unlike Marley, I had actually dreaded this more because I knew things were busier and a lot more tense than usual.  My step-father, Charlie was one of the managers of the hotel and was in charge of the VIP guests lounge and had direct connections to the owner, Mr. Elian Hargreave.  I heard a lot about the new owner, how accomplished he was despite his young age. He was featured in Forbes magazine as the most successful businessman under 40 years of age (rumors had it that he couldn’t be more than 30 years old.)  He reminded me of a true-to-life Bruce Wayne, ridiculously handsome in a dark, mysterious way and was always surrounded by beautiful women.  I knew my sister, Fran was crushing on him big time that she even begged Charlie for an introduction, but to no avail.

As we left the locker room and head to the hotel lobby, where a crowd of reporters and onlookers gathered, people whom I’ve only seen on TV or on a movie screen started appearing, strutting as if they were meant to walk down the red carpet and enter the magnificent lobby as if it were from a Hollywood movie scene.

“Oh. My God.” Marley’s mouth literally hung wide open.  “Look who just got out of that limo.”

I crane my neck and look around thinking that she just saw the famous TV actress who was in a popular teen show.  What was her name again?  Elena Davenport?  She was famous for being in this TV show about a love triangle between a vampire and a cyborg.  It was insane how people were shouting her name as if it were part of her entourage. She looked stunning with her black hair and her golden skin that had obviously seen the tropics recently.  She was then accompanied by an equally handsome young man who stood well over six feet tall and had a shock of black brown hair.

“That guy’s always on the VIP list.  They call him the King,” Marley whispers as if we’re in church.

“I thought that was Elvis,” I quipped chuckling at her disgruntled look.  I knew what she meant.  I wasn’t one to get caught up in celebrity gossip, but that King she was referring to was no other than the owner of the Wyndham, Mr. Hargreave.  He gallantly bowed offering his arm to Elena who gave him a dazzling smile as she took his arm.  Hanging on the other side of his arm was also someone famous.  I heard she was the new Broadway superstar and her name was Rachel Berry.  Behind him was another famous model who often graced those ads in Vogue and a famous British reality show actress.  

All the women around him are famous, I think dully as I look down in my frumpy uniform.  For some odd feeling I felt a pang of something that I couldn’t understand wash over me.  Before I had time to even think about it, Marley again interrupted my thoughts by whispering again on my ear.

“He’s been living in the penthouse suite for a while now.” “Of course he does, he owns the hotel.”

“But it costs tens and thousands of dollars to stay there for the night.” Marley argued.

“Maybe it’s a lot more convenient to keep tabs of work here than living on Park Avenue or at the East Side.” I shrugged watching as Mr. Hargreave pays no attention to the huge crowd and walks straight ahead.

I realize that I can’t take my eyes off him.  I’ve heard the how the female hotel staff would gush about how hot he was, but seeing him in the flesh just took my breath away.

“Aaaah!!!  Over here, Elian!!!” one of the women from the mass crowd screams holding a phone camera hoping to get a picture of him.

Suddenly, a group of women, thinking about doing the same thing start running towards him and bump into me and I feel myself being pushed right into the crowd and on to the red carpet.

SMACK!

I feel like I just hit a wall and close my eyes bracing myself for the pain to follow after the impact. Instead I feel a band of steel arms hold me close, as if to steady me from the madness.  I then pry my eyes open and find myself staring into a pair of steel gray blue eyes that were placed like jewels on a handsome chiseled face.

Mr. Hargreave!!

“Aah, I- I’m so sorry,” I stammered, feeling the rush of blood flow straight at my face and into my brain as I continue to look at him, almost mesmerized yet horrified by what had just transpired.  I still feel his arms around me and I could just tell that this multibillionaire really does work out because he’s practically hugging me right now.

“What do you think you’re doing?” a haughty voice belonging to the new Broadway ingénue pipes up beside Mr. Hargreave.  She sounds almost disgusted by the sight of me.  I can see from the corner of my peripheral vision that Elena Davenport was smirking as if amused by what was happening.  God, I didn’t think she was such a bitch until now.

But instead of voicing that sentiment out, I knew I had a job at stake and right now it was totally hanging in the balance.  I had just publicly humiliated myself in front of the owner of the hotel and his guests and was drawing unnecessary attention right now and it was more than I could honestly bear. I swallow and gather myself before bitchy Quinn Fabray comes out and try to mutter an apology again but am cut short by a curt, masculine and surprisingly sexy voice.

“Get out of the way,” Mr. Hargreave says as he suddenly pulls away from me, and pushes me not quite gently aside.

“What?” I mutter in disbelief as I lose my balance and fall flat on my butt to the ground.

Owwwww..

I look at slight disdain at the man who apparently was also my boss, but his muscular, tapered back was the only thing that could see that look on my face as I watch walk further away. He brushes off his suit as if he had just encountered a speck of dust and before I thought he had finally dismissed me, turns his head and shoots me a glare and then suddenly disappears into the casino hall.

I suddenly realize with a shock that I still had that look of displeasure on my face and grimaced as I rubbed my lower back, trying yet again to stead myself as the crowd disappeared into where Mr. Hargreave and his entourage were headed.  Marley quickly comes rushing over to my side.

“Are you okay, Luce?” She asks me, totally concerned as she called me by my nickname.  I haven’t been called Lucy for a while, I had been using Quinn since I had come to New York, but somehow there was a comfort in still being known as Lucy while here in the confines of the Wyndham.

“Yeah, my butt and my pride are fine,” I say.  

“Oh my God.  Mr. Hargreave caught you in his arms.  I am so totally jealous!  Did he smell nice?  Was he really as buff underneath that suit as they say?” Marley was acting like a puppy dog fawning over that jerk.

“I don’t know, I don’t even r-remember,” I lied because I had just mentally scratched Elian Hargreave off as a completely cold, aloof, unfeeling human being.  The nerve of that man!  He didn’t even bother to defend me while I, one of his staff members, was berated by that Broadway bitch Berry.

Hmm.  That had a nice ring to it.  I feel tons better knowing that the girl could have used a plastic surgeon as good as the one who did my nose.  

Come to think of it, Elian Hargreave was actually pretty frightening.  I’ve seen how New Yorkers glare sometimes, but that cold look was totally at subzero levels worthy of the Artic.

I smooth out my clothes and hear the click clack of high heels behind me.

“Just what were you thinking, making a fool out of yourself?” a cold, voice tinged with an Italian accent snapped me back to reality.  “And in front of such important guests and even the owner of this hotel?”

“Miss Thelma, “ I say coolly plastering a smile at one of the hotel managers.  Thelma Caparano has been on my ass since the day I started working at the Wyndham when she found out I graduated with honors on my Marketing degree from Yale.  Perhaps it was that and because I’m Charlie’s kid that she thinks I deserve to be more ill-treated than a worn-out mule from a third world country.  She stands imposingly before me, all dressed up in her expertly tailored uniform as she clacked impatiently on her Prada heels waiting for me to answer her.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.  It was an accident…”

“You are at fault for not paying attention to what’s going on around you,” she clucked her tongue at me, looking at me disapprovingly under those heavy glasses that framed her would-have-been pretty-if-she-wasn’t-such-a-bitch face.  She was probably a few years older than me, but the harshness of her demeanor just made her look like petulant and almost bratty for a woman in her mid-thirties.

“Aren’t you in charge of the regular guests, Fabray?” She asks with a smirk on her face.  

Oh boy, she does enjoy torturing me.  

“You have no business even being here in the lobby.  Not unless you get promoted to handling the VIP guests.  But you won’t get that chance, would you?  Not even if you begged your stepfather.” She laughed as if she had just thought of that joke and it was funny.

Ugh.  I am totally so close to slapping her but instead I reply setting my gaze downcast hoping that she won’t see me seething as I meekly reply “Yes, Miss Thelma.”

“Well, since you’re here,” she motions to one of her hotel assistants who was following her like a dog who hands over a box as she shoves it towards me. “Go to every floor and drop off these announcement letters while you’re at it.  These are for the guests who wish to avail of the spa promo package we are having in honor of the IVC.”

“Okay,” I say since arguing about doing a herculean task is going to go nowhere anyway since this angry vampire is out for my blood.  She’s always been a bully and since I would never dared complain of this to Charlie even though I could have, I decide I might as well just shut up and deal with it. I turn and nod to Marley, saying my goodbyes and head towards the elevators.  

As I walk by, I see a man, about my age arguing with a young woman about something in front of the elevator. The woman is wearing a dress that looks like something from the recent Fashion Week runway as she throws a mask at the man at the same time spewing a litany of curses in fluent French.

“Connard!!  Baise toi!” she screamed as the man looked back in her as if in shock.  “You lying, cheating scum!  I never want to see you again.”  With that, she gave him a resonant slap in the face for added effect before she walked out of the hotel.

This is awkward.  I turn my attention instead to the mask that looked as if it were something one wore to a masquerade ball.  I suddenly got an image of 50 shades of Grey and find myself  staring at the mask lying on the floor.  I was about to pick it up when the man who was slapped earlier moves quicker than I could and in a blink of an eye was brushing it off as if were the only precious thing that mattered to him.

Wow, his hands were fast like those of a magician.  I turn to look at him and realize that he wasn’t bad looking either.  He was of above average height and was muscularly built, but a bit thicker than Mr. Hargreave.  He also had dark hair and had the most dazzling pair of emerald green eyes I’ve ever seen.  I couldn’t tell what his hair was like underneath that Fedora hat that just made him look like the epitome of 1920’s gangster cool in a modern way.

Fedora Hat sighs dramatically.  “Great, now I don’t have a date.”  He says as if talking to himself then realizes I’m watching him.  When our eyes meet, I quickly look away self-consciously because I didn’t want him to know that I had been caught staring at him.  I try to act cool despite the awkward tension but know that he saw me witness the whole thing.

“You saw that, didn’t you?” He smirks, as if reading my mind.

“Yeah.  I-I’m really sorry.”  I backed away slowly as if avoiding being pounced by some agitated animal.

“Aw, come on. Don’t run away,” Fedora Hat laughs as he gently takes my arm as he leads me towards the elevator, completely ignoring the fact that I’m in the hotel maid’s uniform with a box of undelivered fliers on the other arm. “I’ll explain everything when we get there.”

“S-Sir?”

Before I know it, the man ignores my protests and continues to guide me, half-dragging me into the elevator with him.  We’re alone in the elevator and to be honest, this is the first time I’ve been to the basement area.  I’m surprised that the basment’s elevator looks just as elegant as the regular floor elevators.  It sort of reminded me of going into a secret lair of some evil villain but at the same time being cooped inside a glass bird cage of sorts.  I tried to avert my attention to the man beside me and look instead at the buttons of the elevator as the blinking lights affirmed our descent to the unknown.

“Whew!  I’m lucky I found you,” Fedora Hat grins at me, still holding onto my arm having no intention of letting me go.  His grip isn’t painful nor in any way gentle, but it’s firm enough to hold me into place.  As if wanting to distract me from thinking of it, he adds “coz there’s no way I could go to the party without a beautiful woman on my arm.  That would be a total buzzkill.”

Buzzkill?  Who says that sort of thing these days?

“Party?  You mean, the IVC?”

“The One and Only. Isn’t it obvious how I’m dressed?” He opens one free arm to show his expensive Italian cut suit.  Definitely Armani now that I got a closer look. And definitely custom made as it fits him perfectly.

“I-I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that you—“

“Hahaha.  I’m kidding, babe. Man, you’re kinda uptight for a pretty thing.  Were you raised in some Christian Bible thumping school or something?”

“Uh, that’s because I work at this hotel,” I say slowly almost as if trying to hint that I’m still in my maid’s uniform, completely ignoring the fact that he’s actually right about me being Christian.  “So technically, I can’t go with you to the party as your date, sir.”

“What are you talking about? The reason why that woman earlier left was so you could be my date, Lucy.” He smiles in the most seductive, sexiest way possible as he finally noticed the name plate on my uniform.

Whoa, this one’s pretty dangerous.  And a hopeless flirt as well.  I try not to show my fear when grabs my chin and lifts it up to meet his face as he peers down, bringing it closer to mine.  I can feel his breath grazing against me as he looks into my eyes.

“Definitely my type. Angel blonde hair, mesmerizing green eyes, and luscious lips…” he trails on softly as I sort of feel his face coming closer.  He moves way to fast and I try to squirm away, backing off thinking now I understood perfectly why he got dumped in the first place.

DING! Saved by the bell of the basement floor. The elevator arrives at a full stop at the ballroom and Fedora Hat quickly backs off  and casually straightens himself as if nothing of importance was about to take place.  He could even care less whether he kissed me or not.  Jeez.

“Let’s rock and roll, Princess.” He  announces and gives off a broad smile as if putting on a game face.  And contrary to his calm demeanor, he drags me out into the ballroom before I can protest as I’m lead into the glamorous ballroom that reminded me from a scene of a Hollywood movie.

I gaped in awestruck fascination, marveling how I could have possibly missed out the new renovations at the Wyndham.  The renovations had still managed to maintain some of the old architecture, paying detail to preserving its original Art Deco state, but added with contemporary minimalist design, it’s mixture was astounding and beyond words.  I had no means of any background in architecture, but this was like walking into the Hall of Fame on architectural immortality. I was shocked that everyone present were almost nonchalant of the genius behind the design and how lavishly decorated the ballroom was to the point that even the catering was handled in the most A-list of ways.  I turn my attention to the gorgeous Swarovski crystals that were adorning the chandeliers that were hanging from the high ceiling.  

The entire floor was jam-packed with the rich and famous that I wasn’t even sure if I was hallucinating because it was too much sensory overload to be true.  I turn my head and notice Cristian Renaldi, the famous World cup soccer player from Spain to my right.  And that’s the famous Hollywood actress, Julie Moore.  And even the former President of the United States is over there?  I feel like Alice in Wonderland being wrapped around the surrealness of it all being around these celebrities that it takes me a moment to get back to earth and finally notice that Fedora Hat who had dragged me here in the first place was gone.

Huh?  Where’d he go?

Suddenly, I hear a womanly voice from behind me.

“Hey, do you have any champagne?” I turn around and am surprised that it wasn’t a woman, but a young man with an angelic face whose skin was as flawless as fine bone china. He had soft, brown hair and bright blue eyes.  He looked so familiar because his face was on the cover of this month’s issue of People Magazine being tagged as one of the 25the most beautiful People of the World of this year.

“K-Kurt Hummel!!!” I gasp, recognizing the mega hyphenate National artist/ Pulitizer prize winning Children’s Novelist/ Socialite.

“Oh, you know who I am.” He smiles brightly, happy to have been recognized in a sea of famous faces. “Thanks!”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll look for the champagne now.” I mumble apolitically frantically looking for a bottle of Dom Perignon and Mr. Hummel chuckles behind me, as if thoroughly amused.

“You sure you work here, Alice?”

“P-Pardon?”

“You remind me of Alice in Wonderland when she fell down the rabbit hole and stumbled into the Mad Hatter’s party.” He moves away from me and reaches over the table behind me and lifts a bottle of Moet et Chandon and pours himself a glass.  He then thrusts his newly refilled glass towards me nudging me to take a drink.

“Here. You could use one more than me,” he grins.  I was about to protest but there was something harsh in his eyes telling me not to defy him as I emptied my glass.

“T-Thanks,” I was about to take the bottle and refill his glass for him when he shakes his head and takes the glass from my hands and pours himself another.

“Now, go on to doing whatever it was and I hope you get back home safely, Alice,” was all he says as he raises his champagne glass, giving me a wink of good luck for whatever it was I was about to partake.  He leaves with a wave.

He definitely was spot on about what I was feeling right at that moment.

I should definitely get out of here before I cause any more trouble.

But before I do, another man stops me from my tracks.  He’s over fifty, overweight, and perhaps a bit slightly drunk as he grins at me and grabs my hand. Ugh, he also seems really sleazy. “Aren’t you a pretty one?” He slurs and I inwardly flinch from the smell of alcohol and sweat coming from him.  “You wanna come with me and give me room service? I’ll make it worth your while and give you a big tip afterwards.

Ewww.  His head is shaped like an egg and his pock-marked face is flushed as he looks me up and down.

“I’m sorry, sir but we don’t offer that kind of service here.” I answer politely, knowing that we had been trained beforehand on how to deal with rude perverts like this guest.

He completely ignores me and starts going on how rich he is and how much is net worth is.

To be honest, it wasn’t really much.

He then slips his arm around my waist and is about to pull me towards him when…

“This party just got really trashy.” A familiar masculine voice announced icily.  I turn my head towards my savoir and realize that it’s Mr. Hargreave.  He ignores my gasp of surprise and scowls at the sleaze holding me.

“I’d rather appreciate it, sir, if you kept your attention from the hotel staff and settle instead for the bevy of beauties surrounding you,” Elian Hargreave  grinned sardonically nodding his head towards a group of runway models who flirtly waved back.  And just when I thought he couldn’t intimidate the sleazebag, he looked at me as if I were a piece of trash marring the ambience and added cruelly. “Besides, you could totally do better than THAT.  This one’s hardly a raving beauty.”  

“I-I’m really sorry, Mr. Hargreave, sir!  Pardon me!!!” Sleazebag bows apologetically quickly letting go of me as if he had been burned and kept his distance from me like I was infected with Ebola or something. He furiously wipes away his sweat and runs off.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Hargreave,” I say, totally ignoring the pain that he had brushed me off as a ugly and unattractive.  But then again, men like him are probably used to just dating models that even ingénues were all blasé for him.  

“Let’s go, Elian,” one of the pretty models whom he nodded to a while back approached him and casually hooked her arm around his, totally ignoring me.

“I can’t stand people who don’t know their place,” another one of those long legged giraffes piped in hooking her arm around his other free one as if she were about to die in a desert and he was her oasis.

As if he didn’t even acknowledge my existence and hadn’t even heard me, he turned his back as if nothing had ever happened a few minutes ago before being led away by the Amazonian Brazilian bimbos.  He starts walking still surrounded by women and I’m completely overwhelmed as I watch him walk away.  I suddenly notice a purple handkerchief on the floor behind him.  I remember this being a part of his suit and realize that he dropped it.

Almost without thinking, I picked it up and started going after him.

“Uhm, sir! Excuse me, I think you dropped this—“  I try to chase after Mr. Hargreave but he gets lost in the crowd and I can’t seem to find him.

Oh, wait!  There he is!!

I make my way through the crowd and follow him as he makes an exit to the far end of the ballroom.  

A long, deserted hallway stretches out behind the door that Mr. Hargreave enters.

“Wait.  Where did he go?”

There are several doors on either side of the hallway and I didn’t catch up with him in time to even know which doors did he enter.  However, I hear voices coming from the far end.  But somehow, as I strain to hear from the distance I get the feeling the conversation wasn’t even in English.  I shake my head, thinking that I really have to return this handkerchief back to Mr. Hargreave, I strengthen my resolve and make my way towards the door where the voices were coming from.  I note the door is slightly ajar, which explains why I could hear them.  I peek through the gap and see several briefcases lying on a table surrounded with guns and large sums of money being packed by three Asian looking men dressed in all black discussing where to put the money in perfect Cantonese and before I could see more, I feel a large hand grab me by the shoulder and roughly pulls me away, swinging me around and forces me up against a wall…

Fear and surprise of being caught seeing something I shouldn’t have take over that I feel like I just might have suffered my first heart attack.

But unfortunately, that doesn’t happen.

Instead, my heart starts pounding again in fear as I’m facing a tall, Asian man of slim, yet muscular build with broad shoulders and powerful muscles who is now glaring at me and asks in in slightly cold, yet scarily threatening voice.  His hair is slicked back and even though I know he’s actually quite good looking, I’m paralyzed with fear to hardly even notice.

“What are you doing here?” He demands as he pins me against the wall as his sharp eyes look at me.  

Oh dear, God.

It happened so suddenly my body starts to tremble as I start to realize that maybe he is one of those gun men and those men aren’t just hotel guests.  But Mafia?  Triad?

What on earth should I do?

I breathe and swallow but it’s way too hard to even do so.  Instead I focus on his face and answer.

“I-I- w-w-ork h-he---“ He completely ignores me and says instead, “you’ve got give seconds to walk away, disappear and forget everything you just saw. Got it?  Otherwise, I’d hate to think what would happen to you after.” He also said it in a way that sounded like he was talking to a five-year old.  A not very bright one at that too.

I nod wordlessly over and over, desperate to get away and he immediately lets me go.  I run so fast my legs get tangled up with each other at first and don’t even think of where I’m headed.  I just run to the point of exhaustion and find myself at the basement storage room. I close the door behind me and try to catch my breath, relieved with the fact that I have just barely escaped with my life as I offer a silent prayer and make the sign of the cross in complete gratitude that the scary Asian Mafia guy just let me go.

I ruminate over the thought of how it was possible for the Triad, one of the notorious Asian Mafias could be tied up to an event like the IVC? Were those guys even part of the Triad? Maybe they weren’t even mafia.

Get a hold of yourself, Fabray.  Keep it together.   I have just realized right at this moment I had actually lost the box of flyers I was holding earlier.  I wasn’t sure if I had lost somewhere from that struggle between me and Fedora Hat, or that Mad Hatter encounter with Kurt Hummel, or even with the Middle Aged Sleazebag .  I try again to get my body to function properly as I compose myself thinking over again where I had last left it and realized that it was on the table where I had been with Mr. Hummel.  

Just as I swing the door open, I hear a loud crashing THUD.

The door I just swung had collided into something and I could hear a group of men scream “Watch out!!!”

I see two mean-looking men peeking at the other end of the door looking helplessly as the box they were carrying drops to the ground.

“Shit!  That was the Winged Victorian Angel!”

Oh no.  I remember from the news that this 300 year old museum artifact was meant to be raffled off as the grand prize at the IVC.  It had been shipped all the way from the Louvre in Paris as a gift from the newly elected French President to the United States. The proceeds of the IVC’s funding and the raffle were meant to help the victims of Typhoon Haiyan somewhere in the Philippines.

I quickly open the crate box and find the statue was broken in half and my heart just drops to my stomach in nameless shock.

I am way too shocked to even mutter an apology.  Not only did I just destroy what might have been a National Treasure, millions of homeless Filipino children were going to starve and suffer.

“Hey, this was a very important piece that was going to be auctioned off.”  The slim mean-looking guy barks at me, ignoring my shocked state. Did he just say auctioned?  Didn’t he mean it was going to be raffled?

“How are you gonna pay for this?” Asks the Fat Meanie beside him.

“Uh…..Sorry?”

“You think an apology is gonna cut it?  You owe us, bitch!”  

The men reach out to me and….

 ……………..

 And I find myself being auctioned off.  The host of the eveing had just announce d that the next bid was me, a healthy fit young Caucasian American.

 Is this even legal?  I think as I swallow in fear hearing the bids knock from $2 million to higher.  I got put up in place of that Winged Victory Angel.

The mere fact that someone just started the bid off at $2 million was unreal.

I could barely make through the crowd as everyone was wearing masks similar to the masquerade mask Fedora Hat had with him when his date dumped him.  But somehow I felt with a sinking dread that the person who placed the initial bid was the Middle Aged Creep from before.  Oh crap, is he really going to buy me?  I definitely do NOT want that at all.

“$2 million, going once……going twice……”

I heard the announcer say that I’d be a slave, or a toy, or……God knows.  This is horrible.  I try to shake myself off this nightmare, but I know what I’m going through right now was just as real as everything that partook 12 hours ago.

Oh God, how did I get to this?  I fall to my knees, hang my head in shame as I feel the tears well in my eyes start to overflow.

I start praying hoping that Charlie, or my Mom or Fran could find me before it’s too late…..

Just then….

The auction hall suddenly buzzes with commotion as the announcer stops from closing the deal.

“Seat number 100 with a bid for $20 million cash.”

The crowd is drawn into complete silence.  

I peer through the gates to look for 100, but whoever was bidding was not in the crowd.  All I could do was stare up at the sum of the winning bid, completely dumbfounded as a  bell sounds, calling the auction to a close.

“Sold to Seat Number 100 for $20 million.  Thank you!!”

Someone bought me for twenty million US dollars?

My cage is carried over to the edge of the stage.  As I get off, I’m greeted by two masked men.  They weren’t the mean jerks from earlier but something about them looks vaguely familiar.  One of them looked to be wearing a Fedora Hat.

Fedora Hat bought me? Before I even get the chance to ask, Fedora Hat in the mask grabs my arm and says” This way���.”

Wait, what the heck am I being so nervous for?  At least it’s Fedora Hat who bought me and not that Middle Aged Creep.  But where are they going to take me now?

And who bought me?

I feel totally numb from this crazy situation that I don’t even notice that I’m brought up into the penthouse.

I gasp in marvel looking at my surroundings, knowing that out of all the hotel employees, only Charlie and a few other managers were ever allowed to come up here.

Wait, speaking of Charlie, does he even know about those weird auctions happening at the basement?

“We brought her, boss.” Fedora Hat announces to the man in the immaculate tux seated on one of the elegant sofas.  Like Fedora Hat and the other man,  he was also wearing a mask, but something about him looked made me sense that I’ve also encountered this man before.  Even the other man seated beside him also with a shock of black hair was also wearing a mask also seemed vaguely familiar.

“Wait.  You’re----“

“We bought you,” Mr. Hargreave says indifferently, removing his mask as if he didn’t even hear what I was about to say.  The other man beside him followed suit.

“Guess we did end up seeing each other again,” the Asian Mafia guy remarks in the same casual, yet cold tone.

“You know this woman, Mike?” Hargreave raises his eyebrow almost as if in disbelief.

“You can say that.” He shrugs, not really giving a toss.

“Wait.  You bought me?  In that auction”  I stammer, trying to still make sense of it all.

“He means WE won you, Alice.” Kurt Hummel corrects as I turn around in disbelief as he removes his mask as well.

“For $20 million, Princess. The boss must have it bad.” Fedora Hat grins as he casually throws his mask and lays it on the next empty sofa.

“M-Mr. Hummel?” I squeak, not sure if I was asking if Fedora Hat was referring him as ‘the boss’ or if I was just asking a reaffirmation that I knew at least another familiar but friendly face.

“Pffft!!! She doesn’t even know you’re name, Puck.”  Kurt laughs.

“That because I didn’t have the time to tell her,” the man named Puck crosses his arms as if he were a pouting kid who wasn’t included in a game of tag.

“Isn’t this some form of human trafficking?  I shouldn’t have even been up for that stupid auction in the first place.”

“Hey, anything and everything’s for sale at that auction.” Puck grins matter-of-factly, completely oblivious to the fact that I had stated it being against my own free will.

“Absolutely,” Kurt agrees. “You can buy almost anything there. Like stolen art, government secrets, and even hire a hitman!”

“That was last year, wasn’t it?” Puck asked as I noticed that he and Kurt were the only chatty ones in the group while the other two men watched silently.

“Anyway, this was the first time anyone was sold off in the manner of fashion you had earlier,” Kurt says tilting his head as if trying to understand what was really going on. “You must have done something really bad to put yourself up there, huh?”

“Well…….I accidentally broke the Winged Victory Angel….” My voice trails off and I realized that something wasn’t right here.  Wait a minute, weren’t they just talking about selling black market things in a legal casino that by the way just happens to be in a highly publicized area? Was this even legal at all?  “Who in the world would approve of these things?   Do the police even know?”

“Well, to answer question number one.  I did approve of it.” Mr. Hargreave says as if bored by this whole conversation.

“What?”

“If it’s worth anything, it’s here.” Hargreave scoffs and laughs coldly.

“Reckless as always,” Mike shakes his head.  “This woman isn’t even worth anything.”

“Think about it for a moment,” Hargreave looks at me up and down as he folds his arms looking at me as if he were the predator toying with his prey.  “Won’t it be fun coming up with ways to use her?”

“What gives you the right to decide that?”  I ask exasperated.

“Who gave you permission to speak?” Hargreave asks coldly, merely raising an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Not another word unless I. SAY. SO.” Hargreave says, savoring the last three words, enunciating them slowly as if threatening me to not disobey him.

“If you’ve got a problem, we could always send you back to be auctioned off.” Mike sneers as if finding this even more amusing.

These guys are so scary. I’d rather die first than be sold off again.

I shake my head looking at both men, pleading them that I won’t disobey.

“Come on Boss……Mike……You two should be nice to the girls,” Puck quips, trying to lighten the mood, but honestly it fell a bit flat.  Not that I’d feel better either way.

“We need to figure out who gets to keep her,” Kurt says, as if now he’s the one who was bored by the whole turn of the conversation.  Though he acts as if he wants everything finalized, I get the feeling that he’s not entirely happy with the idea of having me for a slave.  In fact, he looks rather…….reluctant.   I’ve heard rumors that Mr. Hummel was gay, but I didn’t think now would have been the best times to actually confirm that.  So instead I ask the second question that’s been nagging me.

“What do you mean, who gets to keep me?  Didn’t you all buy me?”

“Yes, that’s true. But that’s really not your concern now.” Puck says.  “If I were you, I’d choose me.  I’m the only good guy here, so you can rest easy.”

“Says the world-famous thief and con-artist,” Elian Hargreave snorts derisively.

“Now, now Elian, you’re just trying to make Puck look bad.” Kurt says as if coming to his friends defense. “You’ve already got tons of groupies, why don’t you just play with one of them and let the rest of us have our fun?”

And to think I thought Kurt Hummel was safe because I assumed he was gay.

Guess again, batman.

“Mike Chang’s the one who could have his pick,” Hargreave threw a smirk towards the cool Asian mobster guy’s direction.  “Women would do anything to be the lover of a Hong Kong mobster.”

So he really was part of the Mafia.

Who ARE these people? I’m speechless but I try to pull myself together and try to shake some last-minute common sense in them.

“Human trafficking IS illegal, you know.  I’m going to report this to the police and I don’t care who you are.”

“You see a cop anywhere?” Elian Hargreave throws his head as if calling out to no one in particular. I follow his gaze and see a worn-out looking man standing by the window smoking a cigarette.  He looks to be the older of the bunch, probably around 35 in age. Rather good-looking, in fact he sort of reminds me of that guy who plays a thief on TV except that he looks disheveled and hasn’t shaved in a week.

“Damn it, don’t just blow my cover like that,” he groans as if he didn’t even want to be a part of this conversation.

“Better now than later, right Detective Cooper?” Kurt giggles as if enjoying himself.

“Shut up, Hummel.”

“Oh, don’t be so mean. Just because I’m dating your brother doesn’t mean you have to be so rude.”

“Wait, you’re a cop?” I ask incredulously, ignoring the fact that Kurt Hummel just confirmed he was openly gay.

“Yup.”  Apparently, the Detective spoke the fewest words possible.

I seriously CAN NOT believe that even the police are in on this.

“Well, it looks like we’re not going to reach a decision any time soon.” Kurt announces, really emphasizing on the obvious.

“Well Boss, at times like these….” Puck begins but Elian Hargreave cuts him off immediately.

“Right. I don’t want to waste anymore time.” Hargreave nods and stands up with Mike Chang following suit. All the men except for the Detective stand up and saunter over to me with Mr. Hargreave standing in the center of the group with his arms crossed looking down at me with cold eyes.

“Make a decision,” he says. “I’ll let you choose who buys you.”

---END---

Elian Hargreave.  Be ready to hear more of another Hargreave, Elian was just the prototype of my OC in the next series of fanfics.

[womenofcolor15]

6 Things That Must Be Addressed During The 'Real Housewives Of Potomac' Reunion

The first part of the "The Real Housewives of Potomac" reunion just aired and there are some things that we want addressed in the following parts.  Like...

    What in the World is Wrong With Katie Rost's Wig?

As many antics that unfold within the prairies of the Potomac, nothing compares to the spectacle that sits atop Katie Rosts’ head. We don’t care if Michael is competing in a butt grabbing contest with ‘The Black Bill Gates’, if Katie and her lopsided lacefront are there, all eyes on her.(Full disclosure: That wig she rocked on the finale episode def got an A for effort.)

The friend and former housewife returned to the scene this season with a bang but not like a straight bang, more like a topsy-turvy-toupee. Not only are we thrown off by this seemingly synthetic situation, but the idea that no one ever makes much mention of her mop makes us wonder what’s really going on.

        View this post on Instagram

                  Unseen production footage of me in a new era after Lana threw away every last bad wig. #badwigsproductions #RHOP #lanafiercecollection #katierost #TheKatieFactor #RageAgainstTheMachine #killinginthenameof

A post shared by Katie Rost (@mskatierost) on Sep 8, 2019 at 5:10pm PDT

  So we did what any esteemed journalists would do and went to her twitter page where the wonky wig-wearer wrote, “Ik, I'm putting it all out there, I shaved my head last december and I was in that one and a half inch zone of new growth, I also bleached my hair blonde when I shaved it, so I went with wigs and clearly I fucking FAILED”.

At least you know boo. You also would have looked stunning with a fresh fade or a small pony though.  While we’re disappointed by the lack of good wig makers in the Maryland area, we’re glad to see Katie has a good sense of humor and now that we think about it, her off-centered wig matches her offbeat personality. She deserves a champagne glass all her own - not Katie of course, her wig. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to see either of them as Reality Tea reports the two were not invited. Tragic, because chick became the real MVP at the end, TBH.

Has Candiace’s Mom Had to Pop Her with a Purse Again?

Violence is never the answer, but you gotta admit, the little black girl in you got flashbacks when it was revealed ‘Cryin Candiace’s’ mom Dorothy had popped her with that pocketbook. Some will argue that the Princess of Potomac deserved it in a season full of fallouts and fork-flinging.  Others will say Mommie Dearest needs a wire-hanger-hit herself for breeding such babyish behavior.

Either way, we’ve gotta know what has become of the mother-daughter, ‘domestic violence’ duo. Have Candiace and her husband Chris moved out? We saw they paid the other half of the rent that one month. Who has the upper hand? And is that hand holding a Dooney & Burke?

Whose Side is Monique Samuels On?

Usually, the side of the couch the Bravo producers sits you on reveals your allegiance, but with "Not for Lazy Moms" Monique, you never know.

While everyone seems to stir the Potomac pot, Mama Monique does it ever so slyly. We don't know if it's the essential oils or the fifty-leven goddess braids that engulf her head but homegirl is stealth with her shade. As long as she brings that same now post-baby hormonal energy she brought at the ranch when she threatened to drag Candiace “pregnant and all”, does it really matter which side of the couch Ms. Monique sits on?

Do the Darby’s Dab in an Alternative Lifestyle?

Ashley Darby’s husband Michael has grabbed more than a few butts this season, he’s also grabbed the attention of the ladies, wondering if the 59-year-old businessman is bisexual. But the Real Housewives of Potomac aren’t the only ones curious about the couple’s relationship status, the nosy inquiring minds at home want to know too.

An open relationship seems to be the only logical explanation for all of Michael’s "mishaps" this season. First Juan’s sausage, then the alleged brush with the cameraman’s peen; these can’t be coincidences. And while in reality, it’s none of our business, Ashley has been quite transparent about her life since joining the cast in 2016 and we can’t understand why a spirit as free as hers would lie about something so liberating...unless, she’s waiting for the reunion. Dun-dun-dunnnn.

How Will Robyn Wear Her Hair?

Hearing about Robyn and Juan has become a total yawn. Even though he is fine AF.  She says the same thing every reunion, “I think we kind of are moving in that direction where we’re blah, blah, blah…” So until he re-pops the question, we’re not checkin’ for Robyn’s man. Even though, again, he's fine AF.  The main thing we’re checkin’ for is Robyn’s mane.  Because no one castmate switches up their hair quite like Ms. Dixon. She can wear it long, short, pink, purple, pulled back in a wig, it doesn’t matter. We love the way this domestic diva experiments with her hair and can’t wait to see what style it’s in this reunion season.

Where the Hell is Sherman?

That’s it. That’s all we wanna know. He came in with the slickness and left with the quickness. Was it the cameras? His “horse face” ex wife as Gizelle calls her? Or was it all just a ruse? You know how the housewives do - borrow a boyfriend for the sake of a storyline?

All we know is Gizelle’s girls loved him and we were looking forward to seeing whether being boo’d up was enough to tame the wild Gizelle Bryant. Either way, we’re sure the question of Sherman will resurface during the reunion. Mainly becasue the finale hinted that Gizelle has already reunited with the UNLIKLIEST of people.  And we already think we know who....

  Part 2 of the "RHOP" reunion airs Sunday, September 22nd at 8/7c on BRAVO.

Photos: Mike Ware @mike_ware27

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/09/16/6-things-that-must-be-addressed-during-the-real-housewives-of-potomac-reunion

[thesundanceghost]

Could Be Worse

Because I promised you guys a one-shot, and I had a lot of feelings about pre-Season One stancy.  This takes place in late October before the show actually begins, right at the start of steve and nancy’s relationship.  @stancy, I thought of you while writing this!  Also @dadharbour, thanks for calling me out about how i always say i’ll write stuff, because I wrote this entire thing out of spite lol

“Oh my god.” Nancy’s jaw dropped.  She was going to kill her brother.

She was holding what should have been her striped grey T-shirt for gym, but instead was a smaller, unflattering grey shirt with the Star Wars logo plastered across the chest above art of all the main characters of the saga.

Mike had switched the shirts.  She couldn’t believe him.  She knew he’d been annoyed at her all weekend, but this was ridiculous.

None of the other girls seemed to notice or care as they changed quickly and made their way out of the locker room.  She glanced at the clock, groaning when she realized she was going to be late unless she changed right away. Grumbling, she stripped out of her sweater and top and pulled on the T-shirt. Luckily it was one of the shirts Mike had bought a size too large, so while it was small, it wasn’t unbearable.  She threw her stuff into a locker and quickly walked to join the rest of the girls outside.

To add insult to injury, the coach had lectured her for five minutes in front of everyone about proper attire while the other girls giggled about the unattractive shirt.  The coach then announced that they were going to play soccer that day, which was naturally Nancy’s worst sport.

God she hated gym class.

Nancy managed to avoid most contact with the ball by hovering around the sidelines.  About fifteen minutes into the game, however, one of her more athletic teammates made the terrible decision of passing to her.  She noticed too late, and they all watched the ball fly off the field until it hit a fence.

“Wheeler, go get it,” the coach told her, shaking her head.  Nancy just nodded, but as soon as she turned away she started muttering under her breath as she walked towards the ball.

She’d never understand why she was still being subjected to gym class.  Last year she’d been lucky enough to share the class with Barb, and the two of them had been able to hang in the background unbothered through most of classes.  This year she was all on her own, and it made all the difference in the world.  She pulled at the small shirt in frustration, frowning when it kept rising above her waistband.

“Hey, looking for this?”

She looked up at the voice, blinking in surprise.  Steve Harrington was holding the soccer ball, eyebrows raised expectantly.  He was wearing basketball shorts and a grey T-shirt as well, as she realized he must be in his own PE class as well.  After a second, his eyes flicked down to her shirt.  He smirked.

Embarrassed, Nancy just nodded quickly and took the ball, holding it in front of her to block him from seeing any more of the nerdy design.

“Come on Wheeler, hurry it up!” Coach Johnson called, and Nancy blushed.

“Thanks,” she muttered before jogging back to the other girls.

Only forty more minutes, and then she could get out of this class, and this stupid shirt.

*****

History was her last class of the day, and luckily she wasn’t on her own for this one.  She was able to rant to Barb as they walked to the class together, even though she got the feeling that her friend thought she was a bit too angry at her brother for the prank.  Whatever.  She was a sixteen-year-old girl.  She was allowed to hate her baby brother, right?

They separated once they entered the class, Barb sitting by the door and Nancy heading towards her assigned seat in the back corner.

“Hey Nancy,” Steve greeted her as she set down her stuff.  Nancy looked over at Steve Harrington, who was throwing his stuff down on the desk next to her.

“Hi,” she answered back nonchalantly, giving a polite smile.  She tried not to think about their run-in earlier, but she had a feeling he’d already forgotten about it.  Even though they’d sat next to each other in history for months (as well as having attended the same schools since they were five), they barely ever spoke.  She doubted he knew anything about her besides her first name.

Steve turned towards her suddenly, mouth open like he was about to say something, when the bell rang and Ms. Katz made her way to the front of the class.  Steve shrugged and turned back to his desk.  He was probably just going to ask what we were supposed to read for homework, Nancy thought to herself.

The class passed slowly, as it always did.  Ms. Katz was a fine teacher, Nancy supposed.  It wasn’t the teacher’s fault that she hated history as much as she did.

She was doodling small UFO’s and dogs in the margins of her notebook when something lightly tapped her arm.  She looked over to see a ripped piece of paper folded into fourths.

Nancy stared at the note, picking it up from the corner of her desk so Ms. Katz wouldn’t see it and snatch it up.  She frowned when she saw there was no name written on the outside.  She glanced around, but nobody seemed expectant, and being in the corner meant that there was really nobody else to receive it.  Nancy looked at Steve again, who was tapping his pen repeatedly as watched Ms. Katz.

Sensing her gaze, he looked up and smirked.  After glancing towards the front of the classroom cautiously, he raised his eyebrows at her and mimed opening the folded piece of paper.

She was wary, of course, but figured it couldn’t hurt to just read it.  Not checking to see if Steve was watching her, she unfolded it and stared at the dark ink waiting inside.

Didn’t take you for a Star Wars fan.  Cute shirt though

Nancy read it three times, just to be sure.  She was blushing intensely, she knew, so she hid her face as she attempted to get back to the lecture.  She tried to listen to her teacher, but her eyes kept flitting over to the words etched over the blue lines on the paper.

She’d sat next to Steve for almost two months at this point, and he’d never said anything besides the occasional “hello” or “did you do the reading?”.  They weren’t friends.  They were barely even acquaintances.  Nancy wasn’t exactly a nerd-- or at least, not like Mike and his squad were-- but her and Barb hardly even existed in the same social realm as Steve Harrington and the rest of the jocks.

Was she supposed to respond?  She didn’t know the first thing about passing notes.  Not that she was too good for it or anything, there just weren’t that many people who bothered to engage her in it.  Steve wasn’t looking at her anymore, but did that mean he wasn’t expecting anything?

After two minutes (though it felt like half an hour) of debating with herself, she gave in.  One reply couldn’t hurt, and she had to set the record straight, after all.  As discretely as possible, she wrote out a small response under Steve’s writing.

It’s my brother’s.  He switched them to get back at me.

She watched Ms. Katz carefully, waiting for the perfect opportunity to set the note on the boy’s desk quickly.  She was never one to pass notes during class, and she refused to get in trouble for something as silly as this.  After it was safe out of sight in Steve’s hands, she returned to her note-taking.

She’d only written another line of notes by the time the scrap of paper was back on her desk.  This time she didn’t waste any time in opening it.

what’d you do to him?

The words were scrawled in that same lazy handwriting, contrasting sharply with her controlled cursive.  She scribbled her answer back underneath and carefully placed it back.

He couldn’t go to the movies with his friends since I wouldn’t chaperone.

She heard Steve give a small snort before jotting something down and tossing it over.

Cruel woman, Wheeler.  No wonder he set you up.

Nancy barely kept quiet when she read his response, shocked.  She quickly replied, handwriting messier than usual, and all but slapped the paper back onto his desk.

I had homework!!  Besides, he was being annoying, and it was a stupid movie!  I doubt you would’ve gone if it had been your brother

bullshit. I’d be an awesome brother.

Well feel free to take Mike if you’d like to test that theory.  He still wants to go to the movies.

Steve actually laughed when he read her reply, but he turned it into a cough before Ms. Katz picked up on it.  Nancy couldn’t help but feel pleased at the reaction.

maybe if you came along.

The bell rang before Nancy could write a response.  She looked at the clock in shock, not realizing how much time had passed, and realized she hadn’t paid attention to the last ten minutes of class.  She’d have to copy the notes from Barb before the quiz.  Although she was ready to go home, she found herself strangely disappointed by the end of the school day.

Steve had already packed his bag and was making his way to the door, but before he left he threw her a glance, a small smile on his lips.  “See you on Wednesday,” he said with a wink, ruffling his hair one last time.

Nancy could only watch him, not remembering to put away her things until he was out of sight.  Barb was by her side in an instance.

“What was that?” Barb demanded as they made their way down the hallway.

“Nothing,” Nancy defended, still holding the paper in her hand.

“You were passing notes with Steve Harrington and you expect me to believe it was nothing?” Barb asked, incredulous. “What did you even talk about?”

“Nothing, Barb!” Nancy said with a laugh, even though she herself had no idea what to think about the interaction.  “It was just a conversation.”

“Can I read the note?”

“No!” Nancy shot back immediately, though she wasn’t sure why.  There was nothing incriminating about it, and she hadn’t lied when she said they’d just been talking, but she really didn’t want to see what Barb had to say about it.  She clenched the paper a bit tighter.

Barb noticed, of course, and looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“Look, he was probably just bored or something.  I doubt he’ll even look at me on Wednesday.  It’s not like we’re suddenly friends or anything,” Nancy said with a shrug.

Barb sighed, but obediently changed the subject.  As they made their way to the parking lot, Nancy saw Steve leaning against his car as he talked to Tommy Harding.  She refused to look at him, not wanting to give Barb the satisfaction, but she got the feeling he was watching her.  Something fluttered in her chest.

Maybe she’d let Mike off the hook this once.

[billiejoeisaburrito]

All the nsfw asks plz

SEXYTIMES EXPERIENCES1. How many people have you had sex with? Three2. Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with? Yep3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good? her name was Charlotte and I was so drunk I don't remember tbh4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? It was with Christina I know that 5. What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had? The first time me and Mark had sex. Actually every time me and Mark had sex.6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex? A couch7. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated? In the car oops 8. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes? Once by Mark's mom 9. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how? I was like thirteen and I had asked my therapist what masturbation was because longview and she told me what it was and that it was natural and healthy to do so so I got curious 10. Have you ever been caught masturbating? Only by ChristinaQUEER SHIT11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)? Probably Squishy 12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship? Well I am a raging homosexual 13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship? Yeah 14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight? I was like nine 15. Are you out to everyone you know? Yep16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult? I don't go looking i just live life and meet people 17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react? My mom isn't too keen and my biodad can fuck off 18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react? We dated lol19. Describe your first queer kiss. Again, I was drunk. The first one I remember was awkward though. I was a terrible kisser. 20. What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done? Well I've went down on a girl that's pretty fuckin queer I think LET’S GET PHYSICAL21. Are you happy with your body?Partially.22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why? My collarbones or tits. That general area.23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)? I shave when my limbs aren't shaking24. Do you have stretch marks? Where? My thighs 25. Describe your nipples in too much detail. Well they're round and usually perky. And dark pink.26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an “innie” (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an “outie” (more visible/larger inner labia)? I think its in the middle27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you’re turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)? Yep 28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it? -29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it? -30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other? Yeah my right one SEXUAL FANTASY LAND31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy. I wanna have oral on a ferris wheel. I don't know why.32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones? I fantasize about either Christina or Billie. Sometimes both. 33. Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about? Probably Shaggy. I am not even sorry though.34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose? All the time tbh 35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate? Yeah 36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation? If I'm not in public37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else? Yeah I accidentally moaned for Mike Dirnt while fucking Mark lol38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about? See above39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after? I feel like fantasizing about Billie is bad but meh40. Describe your most sexy fantasy.I have too many tbh KINKTOWN USA41. How do you feel about BDSM? Hell yes42. What’s your most unusual kink? I like my hip bones and clit bit. 43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it? I'll do both.44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither? Switch 45. Describe your most recent bondage experience. Scratching, biting, nothing too intense yet.46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term? Billie...47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)? Cum is okay but the others no 48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?My ex because apparently a woman isn't allowed to be dominant hA49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of? Not really no50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)? None yet COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come? Not that I know of 52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)? No 53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched? If I'm being bitten and/or licked yes 54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched. I like it rough.55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on? Hella and yes56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? Another person usually 57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting? Quite a few 58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle? Rough 59. What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had? It was with Christina 60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?Early ORAL FIXATION61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?Its okay on a guy but I love tasting women 62. What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral? Missionary 63. Describe your oral sex technique. Depends on the partner 64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different? Same65. Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received. I haven't. 66. Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received. Again, Christina. 67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?Not my thing.68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you? It can be.69. Do you like 69ing? Never done so.70. Can you deep-throat? Mhmm.EVERYTHING BUTT71. Do you like it in the butt? Eh 72. What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt? An enema. 73. Do you enjoy being rimmed? No. 74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little? None in it.75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex. None.76. Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts? I haven't but I mean77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?78. Do you own any buttplugs? Nope79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience? Nope80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)? NopeSHARING IS CARINGAll questions assume you’ve done group sex of some kind81. Describe your most recent group sex experience. None 82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)? No but I'm interested 83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you? No but sure 84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others? Idk I'm pretty jealous 85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically? Eh as long as its consensual its whatever 86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex? Nope 87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)? Nope but not against it88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus? Nope but not against it89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time? No90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time?no**BONUS DARES**91. Post a selfie. Nah 92. Post a naked selfie. Already did if you wanna see more dm me 93. Tag your biggest tumblr crush.Christina 94. Post your follower count. Too lazy 95. Press ctrl-v, and post whatever comes up. On mobile 96. Tag your top five followers. Mobile 97. Post your most recent Facebook status here. Nah 98. Post the last SMS you received.Nah 99. Post the last SMS you sent. No 100. Send me $500.Do I look like I got that kinda money

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

The 65 absolute best moments from 'The Office'

Fact: The Office is now and will always be one of the greatest television shows of all time.

The NBC comedy, which debuted in 2005, followed the extraordinarily amusing lives of Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Pam Beesley, and other employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton. And even though The Office has been off the air since 2013, fans have yet to stop obsessing over the nine glorious seasons.

While everyone impatiently awaits a possible revival, which John Krasinski already has planned, we figured it'd be wise to take a look back and cherish some of The Office's best moments.

SEE ALSO: 'The Office' hasn’t been revived yet, but at least we have Angela’s YouTube channel

From entire episodes like "Dinner Party," to small but hilariously written and acted cold opens — like the time Kevin spilled his chili — here's a comprehensive list of 65 best moments from The Office. 

1. The Dundies

Nothing beats your first Dundies! So let's kick this list off by taking a trip back to Chilli's to see Michael in his prime as a host and Jim and Pam share their first real kiss. 👀

2. Dwight blasting "Everybody Hurts" in his car

In Season 2, episode 4 — "The Fire" — Dwight gets jealous of Michael's budding relationship with new temp Ryan Howard. After a fire alarm causes Dunder Mifflin employees to evacuate to the parking lot, he's seen hardcore brooding in the car. Dwight, windows down, slumped in the driver's seat, blasting "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M., will forever be one of the Biggest Moods out there.

3. "Ryan Started the Fire"

Another equally gorgeous moment in "The Fire," occurs when Dwight bounces back from his brooding to belt a parody of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."

After learning the beloved temp Ryan accidentally started the fire in the office by leaving his cheese pita in the toaster oven (set to "oven" instead of "toaster"), Dwight sings "Ryan Started the Fire" while waving the charred cheese pita in the air.

4. Jim and Pam having a roof date AND sharing headphones

In "The Client," (Season 2, episode 7) Jim and Pam spend the night sitting in lawn chairs on the roof while watching Dwight set off fireworks. Jim makes his "famous" grilled cheese sandwiches and Pam brings drinks and a freaking candle. Then later, before saying goodbye, they SHARE HEADPHONES, which is such an important moment that Mashable.com already mentions it in two other articles. Has there ever been a more wholesome 1:14 of television?

5. "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration" 

In the eight seasons since the world finally met the love of Phyllis' life, Bob Vance, we've had the pleasure of listening to him introduce himself many many times. Nothing, however, will ever beat the first.

6. The teapot

As Season 2's stressful holiday party comes to an end, Jim's thoughtful Secret Santa gift finally makes its way to the intended recipient, Pam. Jim (clearly smitten to hell) gets her a tea pot she wanted but FILLS IT WITH BONUS GIFTS, including several cute and sentimental inside jokes like hot sauce packets, a mini golf pencil, and his dorky high school yearbook photo. Swoon city!

7. Jim's "Booze Cruise" confession 

Season 2, episode 11 aka "Booze Cruise" is a doozy. In a touching scene on the boat, Jim finally reveals his feelings for Pam to Michael. Surprisingly, Michael replies with some truly inspiring advice.

8. Michael's grilled foot

Season 2, episode 12's "The Injury" is one of the greatest The Office moments. Michael burns his foot by stepping on a George Foreman grill, which he places on his bedroom floor because he likes to wake up to the smell of bacon. Understandable. It's a beautiful, overdramatic episode filled with crutches, Country Crock, and Michael trying to shove his foot into Dwight's MRI machine.

9. Pam's voicemails

"The Carpet" (Season 2, episode 14) starts super gross and ends super sweet. Jim's feeling a bit sad after being isolated from Pam all day due to a temporary desk switch, but when he checks his voicemail before leaving for the day he finds he's a bunch of messages from her! Aww. Luv.

10. When Ryan hooked up with Kelly but didn't check the date

In Season 2, episode 16, after finally hooking up with Kelly Kapoor on Valentine's Day eve, Ryan Howard utters perhaps his most iconic line in the series.

11. Dwight's bobblehead

Unlike Ryan, Dwight had a great Valentine's Day, because a secret admirer *cough* Angela *cough* gave him a bobblehead doll of himself. Watch as Dwight experiences true joy.

12. Jim gets jinxed

In Season 2, episode 20 — "Drug Testing" — Pam jinxes Jim for the entire day and really makes the most of it. After poking a little too much fun at him, however, she goes out and buys a Coke so he can purchase it from her and un-jinx himself. 

13. Dwight "Honorary Security Advisor" K. Schrute

In "Drug Testing," a guilty Michael also has Dwight inducted as "Honorary Security Advisor" of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Hugh Dane, who played Hank the security guard, did the honors, and when the actor recently died Rainn Wilson shared the scene on social media.

RIP Hugh Dane, aka Hank the security guard. He was one of the greats. So kind, funny, talented. We will all miss him. Donations can be made in his name to: https://t.co/z1SAqamWMM pic.twitter.com/ysevEZKOjy

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 4, 2018

14. "Casino Night" confession

Hello, yes. You knew Jim's parking lot declaration of love was going to be on this list. We finally get to see Jim tell Pam his true feelings and it's SO MUCH. When John Krasinski says, "I just needed you to know... once," and "I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship," who on this planet did not die? Not to mention, THE KISS. WHAT A KISS. 

15. Michael walking down to "the warehouse"

"Grief Counseling" (Season 3, episode 4) begins with a hilarious and underrated cold open in which Michael pretends to walk down the stairs to the warehouse. The ultimate dad joke.

16. Good Grief counseling

Later in the episode, Michael leads a grief counseling session where the Dunder Mifflin employees tell stories about losing loved ones. Turns out, they're actually just death scenes from movies.

17. The bird funeral

Wow, "Grief Counseling" again! Great episode. Gotta love this bird funeral complete with moving speeches, Pam singing, and Dwight playing his recorder. RIP BIRD.

18. Stanley on Pretzel Day

If you want to see Stanley Hudson shine, look no further than "Initiation" (Season 3, episode 5,) where the man gets to indulge in his annual free pretzel.

19. The phone call

Jim hasn't spoken to Pam since he transferred to the Stamford branch, but in Season 3, episode 5, the two accidentally share a phone call and pick up right where they left off. They talk about Michael, how many words per minute they type, and Pam confusing 28 Days with 28 Days Later. Romantic shit, people!

20. Phyllis' ultimate burn

After Stamford-turned-Scranton employee Karen Filippelli reveals she's allergic to her new desk mate Phyllis' perfume, Phyllis delivers this scathing hot burn: "Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan Orlando. It's made from real pine."

21. "Lazy Scranton"

Michael and Dwight present "Lazy Scranton," a parody of Saturday Night Live's "Lazy Sunday," to get everyone pumped about working in The Electric City post-merger.

22. Prison Mike

After someone claims prison would be nicer than working at Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott introduces the staff to Prison Mike — one of his many alter egos. In "The Convict," Prison Mike memorably explains the worst thing about prison... the dementors.

23. Angela's karaoke debut

Angela rarely comes out of her shell, but in "A Benihana Christmas," she makes the office floor her stage and sings a very tame rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy."

24. The ceiling prank

Although it ended in Andy punching a hole in the wall in a fit of rage and being forced to attend anger management classes, the prank where Jim put Andy's phone in the ceiling tiles was quite fun.

25. The missing key

Behold: The Season 3, episode 17 cold open in which Michael unsuccessfully attempts to escape from a straight jacket.

26. Creed eating a potato

"Safety Training" (Season 3, episode 20) is an utterly delightful episode. The Scranton office gets into placing bets against each other, one of which is whether or not Creed will notice if his apple is replaced with a potato. Spoiler alert: He doesn't.

27. "Lord beer me strength"

Jim puts his own fun spin on Andy's famous saying in "Product Recall" (Season 3, episode 21). It gets a laugh, like a quarter of the time.

28. Mall day

Sometimes you just need a day with the girls to figure your life out. Michael learns this in the "Women's Appreciation" episode, when he takes the ladies of Dunder Mifflin to the mall. They hit the food court, give him some much-needed advice about his relationship with Jan, and then he takes them on a shopping spree to Victoria's Secret. Not inappropriate at all.

29. Andy floating away

In "Beach Games" — episode 23 of the third season — Angela tries to sabotage the games (so Dwight will win) by letting Andy drift away in the lake while wearing an inflatable sumo wrestling suit. Andy repeatedly asks her to go get help. She doesn't.

30. The yogurt lid

During "The Job," Jim's mid-interview with David Wallace when he discovers a sweet note and a gold medal yogurt lid from the "Office Olympics" episode. Pam hides them to encourage Jim, and they inspire him to return to Scranton and ask Pam on a date. One ticket back to swoon city, please!

31. Michael hitting Meredith with his car

Season 4, episode 1 starts with a bang, and that bang is the sound of Michael hitting Meredith with his car. Later, Michael holds a Fun Run to raise money for rabies awareness, carbo loads, and throws up fettuccine alfredo, saying, "While I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out." The best. 

32. The DVD logo

In the thrilling cold open of "Launch Party" (Season 4, episode 3,) the staff watches on the edge of their seats, waiting for the DVD logo on the TV screensaver to hit the corner of the screen. When it finally does, they cheer, and Michael assumes it's because of him.

33. Devil Wears Prada day

In "Money," the seventh episode of Season 4, it's very clear Michael's obsessed with Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada.

34. Dwight's bed and breakfast

This is also the episode in which Jim and Pam stay at Dwight's family farm turned bed and breakfast. If you recall Dwight READS THEM A BED TIME STORY from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

35. Michael driving into Lake Scranton

If there's one thing we learned from Season 4, episode 3 of The Office, it's that your GPS is not always correct.

36. The entire "Dinner Party" episode

It's impossible to choose just one best moment from "Dinner Party." The Season 4 episode gives viewers a rare and hilarious AF glimpse at Michael and Jan's home life — complete with bizarre sleeping arrangements, a tiny plasma television, and a catchy AF single. Even the cast loved this episode.

37. Michael singing "Goodbye Toby"

"Goodbye Toby" was the episode Michael dreamed of since the series began. Toby's headed to Costa Rica but not before a parking lot party, a proposal, and Michael's rendition of "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp.

38. Jim proposing to Pam

It might not seem like the most romantic setting, but Jim's spontaneous gas station in the rain proposal is one for the books.

39. Dwight's fire drill

One of the greatest cold opens of all time is in the Season 5 episode, "Stress Relief," when Dwight starts a fire to teach the office about fire safety. Chaos ensues, Angela throws her cat through the ceiling, and Stanley straight-up has a heart attack. #SaveBandit

40. CPR training

Michael also attempts to perform CPR on a model in the two-part "Stress Relief" episode, but the office winds up singing "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees instead. A truly glorious moment where Kelly dances like all of us.

41. The roast of Michael Scott

In "Stress Relief," Michael decides to hold a roast for himself — which is, of course, hilarious — but the real laughs come near the end of the episode when he fires back at his employees. Michael goes around the office flawlessly burning each of his coworkers, declaring, "BOOM, ROASTED," when he's finished. It's so funny even Stanley LOLs.

41. Kevin tragically spills chili

RIP Kevin's homemade chili. You lived a good, extremely short life, appearing only briefly in "Casual Friday" (Season 5, episode 26).

42. Phyllis' hug selling for $1,000

Dunder Mifflin's holding an auction to raise money after the office was robbed and the highest bid just so happens to be for a freakin' hug from Phyllis. After an intense bidding war, Dwight surrenders to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

43. Andy trapping Dwight

It's a duel for Angela's love and Andy's not holding back. He tapes a note to some bushes to lure Dwight, then stealthily drives up behind him in his silent Toyota Prius at about 1mph and traps him. An impressive feat.

44. Kelly's Hillary Swank freak out

In "Prince Family Paper," the thirteenth episode of Season 5, the office tries to decide whether or not Hilary Swank is "hot." When the group is unable to reach an agreement, Kelly has very relatable outburst in which she realizes that if people don't think Hilary Swank is hot they must not think she's hot either, and storms out of the room.

45. Soup snakes

"Company Picnic" (Season 5, episode 28) is a special one. The Dunder Mifflin branches come together to compete in a series of challenges, but amidst the chaos Michael admits he and Holly are "soup snakes" (mispronouncing "soul mates").

Cute Fact: Mindy Kaling used the term "soup snakes" to describe her IRL relationship with B.J. Novak. ~ swoon city, bitch ~

46. Pam's pregnant

"Company Picnic" is also the episode in which Jim and Pam learn she's pregnant. GRAB THE TISSUES!

48. Jim's wardrobe adjustment

Another two-part episode, "Niagara," shows the highly anticipated wedding of Jim and Pam. But right before the two are about to head into the church Pam's veil tears. Jim's response? Cutting his tie in half.

49. Embarrassing 4ever

And what would Jim and Pam's wedding be without their friends recreating a viral video and dancing down the aisle to Chris Brown's "Forever" despite being asked not to?

50. Michael joins the Mafia

In the sixth episode of Season 6 of The Office, Dwight and Andy convince Michael that an insurance salesman interested in working with Dunder Mifflin is a member of the mafia. They go to out to lunch, say "gabagool" a lot, and Michael orders a salad ON THE SIDE.

51. The Lip Dub

Season 7 of the show begins with the Dunder Mifflin crew attempting to go viral by recording a lip dub of The Human Beinz's song, "Nobody but Me." Just watch.

52. Dwight doing Pretty Woman

In "Counseling," (Season 7, episode 2), Dwight pulls a "Pretty Woman" and returns to a store in the mall that refused to serve him. Turns out, the employees were simply terrified of his beet juice-stained hands, which looked bloody. He makes amends, but still manages to deliver the iconic Julia Roberts line.

53. The happy and sad boxes

In the "Ultimatum" episode, Erin helps Michael prep for potentially good or bad news regarding Holly. They create two boxes, one filled with happy things, and one with sad things. A truly brilliant method of dealing with news and we should all take note.

54. Creed attempting a cartwheel

Ah, watching Creed thinking he achieved his goal of successfully doing a cartwheel in Season 7, episode 13, is one of the most simple joys out there.

55. Threat Level Midnight

In Season 7, episode 7, after more than 10 years of hard work and preparation, Michael screens his action movie: Threat Level Midnight.

56. Kelly explains text message subtext

Kelly gets REAL when it comes to analyzing Darryl's texts to Val from the warehouse in Season 8, episode 16, and we could all use her wisdom in our lives. Five dots, Darryl??? Are you kidding me?

57. Michael proposes to Holly

You will cry so many tears watching Michael propose to Holly in episode 19 of Season 7 that it'll look like a sprinkler system went off.

58. "Seasons of Love"

In Michael's second-to-last episode and final Dudies ceremony, the office honors him with a beautiful rendition of "Seasons of Love" from Rent.

59. Goodbye, Michael

Episode 22 of Season 7 requires a big old box of tissues. Michael's leaving a day earlier than he told everyone and says heartfelt goodbyes to all his co-workers except Pam. Luckily, Jim catches on and drives Pam to meet Michael at the airport before his flight takes off.

60. Daryl's daughter classing up Christmas

Daryll's daughter Jada singlehandedly saves "Classy Christmas" — perhaps the worst holiday party to ever hit the office — by joyously handing out vending machine snacks to everyone. So wholesome, ugh.

61. Ryan's final declaration of love

Scared of losing Kelly to a successful doctor, Ryan pulls out the big guns and declares his love with the help of poetry and a horse.

62. Asian Jim

From sticking belongings in Jell-O and making mega desks, to tampering with vending machines and more, Jim's played some great pranks on Dwight over the years, but Asian Jim was a next-level effort.

63. Darryl's farewell dance

The office busts a move to bid Darryl farewell in Season 9's "A.A.R.M" episode, though it's Oscar who really steals the show.

64. The Note

Remember THE TEAPOT? Well, at the last minute Jim hid the card to Pam he'd included in the box, and gives it to her years later (along with a DVD of highlights from their relationship) to save their marriage.

Jenna Fischer still has the note, too!

Awwww...Cleaning out my desk and I just found Pam's teapot note. #swoon

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) October 24, 2013

65. Michael returns for Dwight's wedding

MICHAEL RETURNS for his BFF's wedding to Angela, because what would this wedding be without one last "that's what she said" joke? If the series had to come to an end, the only way we'd want to do it is with the whole gang back together again. It's emotional AF, but "Finale" does a good job of wrapping up this brilliant journey.

To catch more best moments from Michael, Jim, Creed, Kelly, Angela, Kevin, and the your favorite paper salespeople, you can re-watch the series on Netflix. And who knows, maybe one day we'll get that revival.

[jumpsitehq]

Top 500+ Attitude Status New, Best, Cool, Short Quotes

We all have attitude, which we want to express from our Whatsapp Status. So, this time we have collected and updated Attitude Whatsapp Status for you. Today we are sharing Top 500+ Attitude Status New, Best, Cool, Short Quotes.

Attitude Status for Whatsapp in English

1. I'm not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too. 2. I never insult people I only tell them what they are. 3. If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I'm the worst. 4. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success. 5. I always arrive late at the office but I make it by leaving early. 6. I’m sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot. 7. I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT. 8. My attitude based on how you treat me. 9. Hakuna Matata!!! – The great motto to live life... 10. Yeah You - The one reading my status, Get Lost!

New Attitude Status in English

11. When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you? 12. I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! 13. I loved a girl and she broke my heart. Now every piece of my heart love different girls. People called it flirt that's not fair… 14. Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine. 15. Me and my wife live happily for 25 years and then we met… 16. Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you. 17. I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in classroom. 18. When I'm good I'm best, when I'm bad I'm worst. 19. I’m cool but global warming made me hot. 20. Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh its your Attitude.

Top Attitude Status for Facebook

21. If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’. 22. Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude. 23. My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are! 24. I'm Not Special , I'm Just Limited Edition. 25. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive. 26. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me! 27. Stop checking my status ! Go get a Life! 28. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm & silent. 29. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”. 30. Life is too short. Don't waste it removing pen drive safely.

Whatsapp Status for Girls Attitude

31. Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want. 32. I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast I never commented “Cute pic dear“ on girls profile picture. 33. Your Whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me 34. I started out with nothing and i still have most of it :) 35. I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge” 36. I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card 37. They say we learn from our mistakes. So I'm making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius. 38. Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend. 39. Waiting for Wi-Fi network. 40. I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

Best Attitude Status for Whatsapp in English

41. Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status... 42. Tried to loose weight… But it keeps finding me. 43. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car. 44. I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 45. lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number. 46. Sleep till you’re hungry... Eat till you’re sleepy. 47. If your bad. Call me your Dad. 48. If I was asked what a friend looks like, I would seat next to you and hold you tight because you define what true friendship really is. 49. Friends are the family you choose 50. Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: It’s Awesome, Now Run! 51. What is a Best friend? A single soul in two bodies. 52. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. 53. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. 54. True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. 55. Friends are notes to life's great songs. A melody that carries you along. 56. A best friend is someone who tells you the truth even when you don't want to hear it. 57. I don't have an attitude, I have standards for the people who are supposed to be my friends. 58. It is better to live alone. There is no friendship with a fool. 59. A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second an stops the third. 60. A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your hear.

Attitude Whatsapp Status in English

61. That awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you. 62. My friends are the weirdest, most craziest people I know but I love them. 63. World is full of smiles, whenever friends are with me. 64. If friendship is your weakest point then your the strongest person in the world. 65. Good friends are like starts. You don't always see them but you know they're always there. 66. Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you. 67. Never forget who was there for you when no one else was. 68. Every friendship doesn't change into love but every love begins with friendship. 69. A beautiful friendship can change people. 70. True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

Awesome Status for Facebook in English

71. A good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, damn that was cool. 72. A true friend is someone who never gets tried of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again. 73. Relation of friendship is greater then the relation of blood. 74. A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. 75. A day spend with friends is always a day well spend. Attitude Status for Whatsapp Attitude Status for Whatsapp 76. Good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget. 77. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button 78. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you. 79. I love to walk in fog because nobody knows I'm smoking. 80. I'm not drunk, I'm just chemically off-balanced.

Awesome Whatsapp Status in English

81. Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON. 82. I'm so poor that I can't pay attention in class. 83. Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words. 84. I'm not virgin, my life fucks me every day. 85. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. 86. Save water drink beer. 87. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity. 88. Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor. 89. Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off. 90. I love my job only when I'm on vacation

Awesome Cool Status for Whatsapp in English

91. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 92. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. 93. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. 94. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? they both have an iPhone. 95. Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight. 96. Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn. 97. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle... He's dreaming too. 98. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status. 99. Not always "Available".. try your Luck.. 100. Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Cool Attitude Status for Facebook in English for Girls & Boys

101. I don’t wake up every day to impress you. 102. The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality. 103. God is really creative, I mean... just look at me. 104. When I drink alcohol... Everyone says I'm alcoholic. But... When I drink Fanta.. No one says I'm fantastic. 105. Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need Money :-) 106. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 107. I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 108. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. 109. When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me. 110. I'm jealous of my parents, I`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs. Advertisements 111. Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters. 112. The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks. 113. When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm. 114. I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent. 115. The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs. 116. When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it's like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch. 117. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U. 118. There's always that one person, who takes a few minutes to get the joke. 119. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people. 120. ETC – End of Thinking Capacity. 121. I have 2-3 real friends, the rest are just people I socialize with. 122. Marriage is a "workshop", Where husband 'works' and wife 'shops'. 123. I need Six months of vacation, Twice a year. 124. Time is precious, waste it wisely. 125. Life is Short – Chat Fast! 126. Totally available! Please disturb me! 127. You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it. 128. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode. 129. Hey there whatsapp is using me. 130. Not always "Available" Try your Luck... 131. My "last seen at" was just to check your "last seen at". 132. I'd rather have honest enemies than fake friends. 133. Scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status :D 134. I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. 135. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. 136. Sometimes you succeed... and other times you learn. 137. When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. 138. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone. 139. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 140. I love my job only when I'm on vacation

Attitude Status for Whatsapp in English

141. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 142. Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off. 143. His story is History, My Story is Mystery. 144. Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor. 145. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity. 146. Save water drink beer. 147. When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way. 148. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain. 149. People say, you can't live without love...I think oxygen is more important. 150. I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.

Attitude Awesome Whatsapp Status for Facebook

151. I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday. 152. Warning! I know KARATE... And few other oriental words. 153. I am so poor that I can't pay attention in class. 154. I love to walk in fog, Because nobody knows I am smoking. 155. If you can't convince them, Confuse them. 156. When nothing goes right! Go left. 157. If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty! 158. I am always right, Once I thought that I am wrong, But I was wrong. 159. I work for money, for loyalty hire a dog. 160. When I was born... Devil said, "Oh Shit...! Competition".

Cool Attitude Status for Whatsapp in English

161. I am not failed......My success is just postponed. 162. Some people are alive only, because it's illegal to kill them. 163. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. 164. Be a good person, but don't try to prove. 165. Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. 166. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. 167. Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think. 168. I don't have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination. 169. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. 170. Silent people have the loudest minds.

Cool Attitude Whatsapp Status in English

171. Born to express not to impress. 172. The road to success is always under construction. 173. I will win, not immediately but definitely. 174. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. 175. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 176. The longer the title the less important the job. 177. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. 178. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons. 179. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. 180. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Cool Attitude Status in English

181. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women. 182. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. 183. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight! 184. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. 185. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. 186. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. 187. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. 188. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside. 189. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job. 190. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Best Attitude Whatsapp Status in English

191. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. 192. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? 193. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. 194. I'm not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too. 195. I never insult people I only tell them what they are. 196. If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I'm the worst. 197. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success. 198. I’m sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot. 199. I always arrive late at office but I make it by leaving early. 200. I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT

Attitude Awesome Whatsapp Status for Facebook

201. It is never too late to be what you might have been. 202. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. 203. Better to die on your feet than live on your knees. 204. I love the confidence that makeup gives me. 205. I will never be perfect, but I can be better. 206. Girls who do not ask for much, deserve it all. 207. Keep your heels, head, and standards high. 208. You are amazing just the way you are. 209. Always act like you are wearing an invisible crown. 210. What matters most is how you see yourself. 211. You were born to be real not to be perfect. 212. Listen to your heart above all other voices. 213. You are always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. 214. Only make decisions that support your self- image, self- esteem, and self- worth. 215. I decide how I live and who I love. The choice is mine and no one gets to make my mind up. I decide and I choose. 216. I may not be the girl that everyone wants, but at least I am not the girl that everyone’s had. 217. Do not search for a man that will solve all your problems, he would not. Find one that would not let you face them alone. 218. I am not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice. 219. Take charge of your attitude. Do not let someone else choose it for you. 220. I love being a girl because I am my Daddy’s little girl and that rocks. 221. Be yourself because an original is worth more than just a copy. 222. I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become. 223. I will not allow anything outside of myself determine my happiness. 224. Someone asked me what is your attitude, then I simply replied, being single is my attitude. 225. What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you. 226. Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting yourself. 227. True happiness comes when you can look at yourself and like what you see. 228. The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off. 229. Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine. 230. If you do not have respect for yourself, you would not get it anywhere else. 231. Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality. 232. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. 233. A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavour. 234. Make a girl happy. That is the most amazing feeling she can ever experience. 235. I am not concerned with your liking or disliking me. All I ask is that you respect me as a human being. 236. You cannot compare me to the next girl. Because there is no competition. I am one of a kind, and that is real. 237. Every girl needs a good guy who can help her laugh when she thinks she will never smile again. 238. Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again, because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts. 239. When a girl tells you about her problems, it does not mean that she is complaining, it means she trusts you. 240. All girls want is a guy who is taller than her so she can wrap her arms around his neck when they hug and kiss. 241. It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine. 242. Whatever boys can do girls can do better. 243. I am a girl. Do not touch my hair, face, phone, or boyfriend. 244. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. 245. There is no market for your emotions so never advertise your feelings just display your ATTITUDE. 246. When guys get jealous it can be kind of cute. When girls get jealous World War III is about to start. 247. Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart. 248. It only takes one bad boyfriend to realize that you deserve so much more. 249. I have a new theory in life, what other people think of me is truly none of my business. 250. Treat me like a queen and I will treat you like a king. But if you treat me like a game, I will show you how it is played. 251. Dear Good Boys, do not worry having no girlfriend this time. Remember, bad boys will always have the best girlfriend but they will never have the best wife. 252. There is only one thing I have to say. You are lucky to have me as your sister. Just kidding! I am lucky to have you as my brother. 253. Better to be strong than pretty and useless. 254. I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. 255. No matter what a woman looks like, if she is confident, she is sexy. 256. Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness. 257. A confident woman wears a smile and has this air of comfort-ability and pleasantness about her. 258. A girl should be like a Butterfly. Pretty to see and hard to catch. 259. A girl adding you to her Whatsapp is a modern sign of trust. 260. I consider myself a crayon. I may not be your favourite colour, but one day you will need me to complete your picture. 261. Be what you want to be, be the girl you supposed to be and forget the world. 262. Why cannot mosquitoes suck out my fat instead. 263. Every girls dream = to eat without getting fat. 264. If a girl tells you to leave her alone and you actually do then you have absolutely no brain cells. 265. Just because I do not start the conversation, does not mean I am not dying to speak to you. 266. I may not be the best, but I know that I am not like the rest. 267. When I joke they take it seriously. When I am serious they take it as a joke. 268. Thank you to every person who has ever told me I cannot. You are just another reason I will. 269. You cannot compare me to the next girl. Because there is no competition. I am one of a kind, and that is real. 270. An attitude is an inward thought that wiggles its way out. 271. Like me for who I am and not for who you want me to be. Take it or leave it. That simple. 272. Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow. 273. I keep my head held high and smile, because there are people who will kill to see me fall. 274. Never hate people who are jealous of you, but respect their jealousy because they are the ones who think you are better than them. 275. Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you. 276. Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon. 277. Jealousy is the best compliment you can receive. 278. People would say bad things about you, because it is the only way their insignificant self can feel better than you. 279. Love all your haters, after all they are what makes you famous. 280. I do not care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I will laugh because they will probably be funny. 281. Having haters is just a part of the business, and the more haters you have, the more people like you – that is how I view it, because I try to see the positive in things. 282. When there is so many haters and negative things, I really do not care. 283. The Internet is for haters. Everyone wants to knock somebody down, but it is cool. 284. I am sure there are some haters out there, but I just put my blinders on. 285. Now my haters are very high class people, so I feel like I have moved up. 286. Nations have come under the control of haters and fools. 287. I deal with haters on a daily basis. 288. You are going to have haters and you are going to have lovers. 289. Learn to use the criticism as fuel and you will never run out of energy. 290. Insecurity is an ugly thing, it makes you hate people you do not even know. 291. Haters only hate the people they cannot have or the people they cannot be. 292. Do not think that someone else is more blessed than you are, because we are blessed in different ways. 293. Jealousy is just a lack of self-confidence. 294. Remember: people only rain on your parade because they are jealous of your sun and tired of their shade. 295. Jealousy weakens life. Like the ice-cube in sun-light. 296. Thank you to all of you who talk bad about me thank you for making me the centre of attention. 297. You dream it, I did it, you are jealous admit it. 298. Jealousy is a waste of emotions. 299. A jealous husband does not doubt his wife, but himself. 300. Call me what you want, I will just call you jealous.

Cool Attitude Status for Facebook in English for Girls & Boys

301. Dear haters, do not criticize me for my flaws and mistakes when you cannot even see your own. 302. Jealousy is the fear of comparison. 303. You mostly do not have haters of you, but mostly you have haters of your success. 304. You just hate me because you are not me. 305. I never used to be jealous of anyone, and then I like you. I think I get it now. 306. You know you are awesome when people you do not even know hate you. 307. Nothing brings on jealousy like laughter. 308. People call it “jealousy” I call it “fear of losing you”. 309. Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time. 310. I am just someone, not that one. 311. The way I deal with you is the reflection of the way you deal with me. 312. If you want to improve your life, start with working on your attitude first. 313. The words coming out of my mouth are all of me – unfiltered, raw and real. Love it or hate it, it is up to you. 314. In love, if you fall easily on your knees, you will never win your happy ending. 315. Your attitude screams about the bursting colours of your soul and the rhythm of your heart without the need for any words. 316. Attitude is the mirror of your entire being. 317. Let people think what they want to think about you. It is none of your business anyway. 318. You would not find anyone like me. That is why I call myself ‘limited edition’. 319. Everyone is unique in their own little ways. 320. My attitude with love is simple – I do what I love and love will find me along the way. 321. Some people lives on the business of minding the business of other people. 322. I would rather be single and happy than be in a relationship and miserable. 323. I do not have time to dwell in pain because I am too busy enjoying the things that makes me happy. 324. Never apologize for showing your true colours. 325. My attitude is my unique gift which I am not obliged to explain to anyone. 326. My style is my business which means it is none of your business. 327. If I ignore you and your calls, it only means that I am too tired to deal with your foolishness. 328. Style is a reflection of your attitude and your personality. 329. I believe if you keep your faith, you keep your trust, you keep the right attitude, if you are grateful, you will see God open up new doors. 330. If you do not like something, change it. If you cannot change it, change your attitude. Advertisements 331. Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. 332. Being sexy is all about attitude, not body type. It is a state of mind. 333. A positive attitude can really make dreams come true - it did for me. 334. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. 335. Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions. 336. Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. 337. Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. 338. I will keep smiling, be positive and never give up! I will give 100 percent each time I play. These are always my goals and my attitude. 339. Each day, I come in with a positive attitude, trying to get better. 340. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. 341. Happiness does not depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. 342. Excellence is not a skill, it is an attitude. 343. For success, attitude is equally as important as ability. 344. Be sure what you want and be sure about yourself. Fashion is not just beauty, it is about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong. 345. A healthy attitude is contagious but do not wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier. 346. Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude. 347. The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. 348. The only disability in life is a bad attitude. 349. Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us. 350. Attitude and enthusiasm play a big part in my life. I get excited about the things that inspire me. I also believe in laughing and having a good time. 351. Acting is magical. Change your look and your attitude, and you can be anyone. 352. Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you are going to live your life. 353. My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you are moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again. 354. Sales are contingent upon the attitude of the salesman - not the attitude of the prospect. 355. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. 356. Fairness is not an attitude. It is a professional skill that must be developed and exercised. 357. Your attitude will go a long way in determining your success, your recognition, your reputation and your enjoyment in being a lawyer. 358. My attitude is never to be satisfied, never enough, never. 359. The higher the better. It is more about an attitude. High heels empower women in a way. 360. Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, and never know too much to learn something new. 361. Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. 362. The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That is the day we truly grow up. 363. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike. 364. A positive attitude is something everyone can work on, and everyone can learn how to employ it. 365. Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations. 366. Age and size are only numbers. It is the attitude you bring to clothes that make the difference. 367. Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it is hard. When you do that you are passing the test. And God promises you your marked moments are on their way. 368. Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears. 369. The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. 370. The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes. 371. The ABC's are attitude, behaviour and communication skills. 372. It is the hopeful, buoyant, cheerful attitude of mind that wins. Optimism is a success builder, pessimism an achievement killer. 373. Always keep that happy attitude. Pretend that you are holding a beautiful fragrant bouquet. 374. Negative attitude is nine times more powerful than positive attitude. 375. Natural ability is important, but you can go far without it if you have the focus, drive, desire and positive attitude. 376. It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. 377. You can do everything you can to try to stop bad things from happening to you, but eventually things will happen, so the best prevention is a positive attitude. 378. Always go into meetings or negotiations with a positive attitude. Tell yourself you are going to make this the best deal for all parties. 379. Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time. 380. Always have an attitude of gratitude. 381. Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes. 382. Commitment, belief and positive attitude are all important if you are going to be a success, whether you are in sports, in business or, as in my case, anthropology. 383. Anything can happen, so you have to control your attitude and stay strong. 384. Solidarity is an attitude of resistance, I suppose, or it should be. 385. Your attitude is contagious. 386. Cock your hat - angles are attitudes. 387. You cannot study comedy, it is within you. It is a personality. My humour is an attitude. 388. A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. 389. And the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging to belief, of holding on. 390. Civilization is a method of living, an attitude of equal respect for all men. 391. The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them. 392. Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family. 393. The accounting of the sacrifice is, more than anything else, the attitude toward war memorials in our time. 394. Yes, we are still five little people with a noisy attitude. 395. Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it cannot be done. 396. We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them. 397. Attitude determines the altitude of life. 398. Most of us start out with a positive attitude and a plan to do our best. 399. When you are thwarted, it is your own attitude that is out of order. 400. Great effort springs naturally from great attitude.

Whatsapp Status for Girls Attitude & Boys Attitude

401. Success or failure in business is caused more by the mental attitude even than by mental capacities. 402. The ideal attitude is to be physically loose and mentally tight. 403. I need someone who sees the fire in my eyes and wants to play with it. 404. Boys lie more, but girls lie better. 405. Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do. 406. Forget the haters, because somebody loves you. 407. Do not hate me, just get to know me first! Loves you. 408. People with status do not need status. 409. Always trying to cool myself. 410. I forgive but I never forget. 411. Boys are great, every girl should have one. 412. Hate girls except the girl reading this. 413. I am cool but summer made me hot. 414. My Life My Rules. 415. It’s my life, so keep your nose out of it. 416. Be silent and let your success shout. 417. I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode. 418. ATTITUDE is everything. 419. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. 420. I love my job only when I am on vacation. 421. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. 422. My parents should be proud of me because I am addicted to Facebook not to Drugs. 423. My words are like a china phone. They have no guarantee. 424. Dream big and dare to fail. 425. Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor. 426. Life taught me lot of lessons but I bunked those classes too. 427. If you obey all the rules, you will miss all the fun. 428. Not always “Available”. Try your Luck. 429. When I am good I am best, when I am bad I am worst. 430. Yeah You – The one reading my status, Get Lost. 431. I will be back with my same attitude. 432. Do not play with me! Because I know I Can PLAY Better Than You. 433. I am not heartless, I just learned how to use my heart LESS. 434. If you do not like my attitude quit talking to me. 435. Being single is my attitude. 436. Never underestimate me because I am more than you think. 437. Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you. 438. I may not be perfect but I am always ME. 439. Born to be awesome. 440. I am actually a nice person. Until you piss me off. 441. Tried to lose weight. But it keeps finding me. 442. I am having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for my inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety. 443. I am not arrogant, I am just better than you. 444. Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies. 445. I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow does not look good either. 446. If you are too open minded your brain will fall out. 447. Follow your heart but take your brain with you. 448. The road to my success is always under construction. 449. Personality is to a man what perfume is to a flower. 450. Born to express not to impress. 451. Sending my Selfie to NASA, because I am a star. 452. If you like me then raise your hands. If not then raise your standard. 453. I do not like to follow. I like being followed. 454. My style is what “I like” not what “others like”. 455. If you want to cry, use a tissue. Not your status. 456. Life is better when you are laughing. 457. I know who I am, and I am damn proud of it. 458. You have not ever seen my bad side yet. 459. Yes I am smiling. But you are not the reason anymore. 460. Attitude is like a price tag, it shows how valuable you are. 461. Down to earth, but still above you. 462. While you are chasing Pokémon, I am chasing my dreams. 463. Kill them with success and bury them with a smile. 464. I will not quit until I am living the life I once dreamt of. 465. Man of the year. 466. Do not be the same, be better. 467. Girls express their feelings via tears. Boys express their feelings via Beers. 468. Great minds think alone. 469. I am W.E.I.R.D Wonderful Exciting Interesting Real Different. 470. I know I am always. SPECIAL. 471. I am just cool like hot coffee. 472. The best is yet to come. 473. I was reminded that my blood type is Be Positive. 474. Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back being me. 475. Only my name is enough. 476. The eyes are useless when the mind is blind. 477. Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it. 478. I am not fat, I am just easier to see. 479. I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice. 480. Take my advice — I am not using it. 481. Life is short. SMILE while you still have TEETH. 482. I define my own life. I do not let people write my script. 483. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 484. Only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. 485. I am not old, I am youthfully challenged. 486. Alter your attitude and you can alter your life. 487. Men also have FEELINGS, for example they can feel HUNGRY. 488. Girls do what they want, Boys do what they can. 489. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. 490. I am a nice person with bad attitude. 491. I am not a Spider man nor a Superman, however I am Superhero for my Girl Friend. 492. You were born an original. Do not die a copy. 493. Being happy never goes out of style. 494. Behind every successful person lies a pack of haters. 495. Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that will be me. 496. Only great minds can afford a simple style. 497. Believe in yourself. 498. I am not the kind of person who tries to be cool or trendy, I am definitely an individual. 499. Do not stop until you are proud. 500. I smile. Because I do not know WHAT THE HELL is going on.

Attitude Style Status Messages About Me And Myself

501. Keep moving! Nothing new to read. 502. I celebrate myself, and sing myself. 503. I am nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. 504. Always wear your invisible crown. 505. You could not handle me even if I came with instructions. 506. Out of my mind. I will be back in five minutes. 507. I do not Care about Popularity. I Live In Reality. 508. Stay cool do not get freeze. 509. Keep talking you are making me famous. 510. When nothing goes right. Go left. 511. Looser. Is the one who creates a winner so, I do not mind loosing. 512. I did not lose my mind. I just sold it online. 513. My attitude my choice. 514. God is really creative, I mean. Just look at me. 515. I love being single. It’s almost like being rich. 516. Error: status unavailable. 517. I do not care what people think or say about me. 518. I will win not immediately, but definitely. 519. Be what you want to be NOT what others want to see. 520. Of course I talked to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. 521. I do not need your Attitude because I have my own. 522. WARNING: U may fall in love with my face. 523. I am going to make the rest of my life, the best of my life. 524. Every man is the architect of his own fortune. 525. Sorry I cannot be perfect. 526. Read a book instead of reading my status. 527. My life my rules so, keep your nose out of my Business. 528. I have a disease called AWESOME. 529. I have reached a point in life where I feel it is no longer necessary to try and impress anyone. If they like me the way I am, good and if they do not, it is their loss. 530. I am not online, it is just an optical illusion. 531. If you do not like something change it, if you cannot change it, change the way you think about it. 532. Positive anything is better than negative thinking. 533. They can because they think they can. 534. Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. 535. To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven. 536. A child’s attitude toward everything is an artist’s attitude. 537. Smile when it hurts most. 538. Attitudes are more important than facts. 539. What you think again and again becomes your truth. Think right. 540. A positive attitude can really make dreams come true – it did for me. 541. Results are always hidden in thoughts and actions. 542. Attitude is your acceptance of the natural laws, or your rejection of the natural laws. 543. Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us. 544. Thinking harder is more important than working harder. 545. Humour prevents a hardening of the attitudes. 546. I want people to remember me as a full on entertainer and a good person. 547. You can overcome every hurdle with positive attitude. 548. Attitude-flexibility is the mentality that helps us to smoothly persevere through turbulent times. 549. A thinking man can never be brave. 550. The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. 551. If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden. 552. Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools. 553. Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. 554. Sorry Vegetarians We cannot Pretend. 555. You Are A Designer Of Your Own Destiny. Make It Better. 556. Fake People Have Image To Main. Real People just do not Care. 557. Congratulations! My Middle Finger Salutes Your Bad Attitude. 558. Watch Your Attitude. It’s The First Thing People Notice about You. 559. Your Attitude Belongs To You And its You Want To Have A Good One. 560. Smile In Front of People Who Hate You. Your Happiness Will Kill Them. 561. Single is not A Status. But it is A Word That Describe a Person Who Is Strong Enough to live and Enjoy Life without Depending On Others. 562. Coins Always Make Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent! That’s why I am Always Calm and Silent. 563. If you wait to do everything until you are Sure It’s Right, you will Probably Never Do Much of Anything. 564. Dear Mario, I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend. Now, You Help Me To Save Mine. 565. Just Because I do not have A Girlfriend, does not mean I am Alone, I Have a Food and Internet. 566. There is no buddy like a brother. 567. We all live under the same sky, but we do not all have the same horizon. 568. Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. 569. The world is full of cactus, but we do not have to sit on it. 570. If you expect nothing, you are apt to be surprised. You will get it. 571. What they call you is one thing. What you answer to is something else. 572. If you do not think every day is a great day try going without one. 573. It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control. Nothing is by its own nature calamitous -- even death is terrible only if we fear it. 574. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. 575. If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life. 576. I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. 577. Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. 578. It is not the position, but the disposition. 579. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. 580. I would rather be first in a little Iberian village than second in Rome. 581. Life is a story, Make yours the best seller! 582. With Great power, Comes great electricity bill. 583. Silence speaks thousand words. 584. I do not hate Peoples, I just love Peoples who loves me. 585. Some men have Hundreds of reasons why they cannot do what they want to when all they need is one reason why they can. 586. Before I fall asleep, I always picture what it would feel like to fall asleep in your arms. It's probably the best feeling in the world. 587. It is our attitude at the beginning of every difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. 588. I have reached a point in my life where I feel it is no longer necessary to try and impress any Person. 589. Nurture your mind with great and Positive thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. 590. Life is full of surprises, so you may as well get used to it. 591. There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The small difference is always an attitude. 592. There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it. 593. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. 594. Hope is a waking dream. 595. Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. 596. When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray. 597. Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. 598. The next time you feel slightly uncomfortable with the pressure in your life, remember no pressure, no diamonds. Pressure is a part of success. 599. It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. 600. Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.