#i was thinking of editing it before posting it

[x-kell-variant]

Compliment your writing! It brings a lot of comfort, and I'm grateful for that.

How do you react to positive comments? I vibrate with intense joy and put them on my altar to bless their entire lineage.

How do you react to negative comments? I ignore and delete them. They don't deserve my energy. And I can't please everybody.

Post a screenshot of one of your favorite comments. Screenshot attached

Quote one of your fics out of context. “Get your fake ass gold tooth and chuckle-fuck pony men off my fucking property.”

Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is. He's still alive.

Share the first line of your five most recently published fics. I only have two lol. "There were a million ways I had hoped to start my day, but on the ground in an alley with the taste of my own blood across my tongue, was not how I hoped it would start." and "Logan stared at you as you screamed bloody murder into his pillow."

Share the last line that you wrote. “Still a surprise,” he shrugged, gesturing towards the time door. “After you.”

Tell us your favorite thing to drink when you write. Water because I tend to forget to hydrate all day.

Tell us your favorite thing to snack on when you write. Mike n Ike's, chips and apple slices.

What fandom do you write for most often? Wolverine <3 specifically Old Man Logan

What fandom do you want to write for more often? Invincible (for Omniman and The Immortal bc daddies)

Do you ever write crossovers? Not yet, but I'm sure if it inspires me, I will.

What two fandoms would you write a crossover for? Invincible and X-Men would be interesting.

What fic of yours would you most like to rewrite? All of my old One Direction ones from when I was thirteen LMFAO THEY ARE SO BAD

What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing? "Her breath hitching" is one I found a lot when editing.

What trope is your favorite to write? She makes him soft and he fucking worships her.

What trope have you not written yet, but want to? Friends with benefits to lovers.

What headcanon do you always include in your stories? He fell in love waaaay before he said it or showed it.

What was the last thing you researched for a story? Where Alkali Transigen was located in the movie Logan (2017)

What do you do when you get writer's block? Take a goddamn nap. That's been helping a lot lately.

When do you usually write? The evenings after work, or literally afternoon til past midnight on days I don't work.

Where do you usually write? My shared home office with my husband.

Which fic do you think is your funniest? "And it Feels Like Home" Deadpool x Wolverine; which will never see the light of day (maybe)

Which fic do you think is your saddest? Logan & The Badger

Which fic do you think is your scariest? Haven't written a horror fanfic yet, but I am working on an actual novel that's heavily based on Gravity Falls

Which fic do you think is your most adventurous? Logan & The Badger

Which fic is closest to your heart? This may come as a surprise...but Logan & The Badger

Which fic would you most like to have fan art done for? I'm copying and pasting at this point. Logan & The Badger

Which fic would you most like to have its own fanfic written for? I actually don't know how I would react to this lol, so I guess I'm skipping for now???

Which fic would you most like to see made into a movie? Bitch if Hugh Jackman would come back as old man Logan, I think I might combust with all the domestic bliss I'm injecting into my epilogue. Logan & The Badger hands downnn

Which fic would you most like to write a sequel to? Logan & The Badger

Which of your fic titles is your favorite? I think y'all know at this point.

What title do you want to use, but can't figure out a story to fit? It's funny how bad I am with titles. I usually find them after I write a few chapters.

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title? Not yet I haven't

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a song? I have playlists upon playlists of songs that inspire my characters' relationships and vibes. You bet your ass I have.

Pick one of your fics and share three songs to go with it. Logan & The Badger! 1) "Work" by Hozier; 2) "Us" by James Bay; 3) "Anyway" by Noah Kahan

Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each. "Turning Page" by Sleeping at Last is another good song I'd share for Logan & The Badger. For I Don't Tell You Everything, "Strawberry Wine" by Noah Kahan, but not because of what's written on there, it's because of what happens to them in the larger fic

Pick one of your fics and share an image to go with it. Photo attached

Pick one of your fics and share a quote to go with it (not a quote from the fic, but an outside quote that fits) Logan & The Badger - "In this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything and I will not abandon you. Unwrap the worst things you have done. Watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch."

Yet another fanfic writer ask game!

Compliment your writing!

How do you react to positive comments?

How do you react to negative comments?

Post a screenshot of one of your favorite comments

Quote one of your fics out of context

Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is

Share the first line of your five most recently published fics

Share the last line that you wrote

Tell us your favorite thing to drink when you write

Tell us your favorite thing to snack on when you write

What fandom do you write for most often?

What fandom do you want to write for more often?

Do you ever write crossovers?

What two fandoms would you write a crossover for?

What fic of yours would you most like to rewrite?

What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing?

What trope is your favorite to write?

What trope have you not written yet, but want to?

What headcanon do you always include in your stories?

What was the last thing you researched for a story?

What do you do when you get writer's block?

When do you usually write? (day of the week or time of day)

Where do you usually write?

Which fic do you think is your funniest?

Which fic do you think is your saddest?

Which fic do you think is your scariest?

Which fic do you think is your most adventurous?

Which fic is closest to your heart?

Which fic would you most like to have fan art done for?

Which fic would you most like to have its own fanfic written for?

Which fic would you most like to see made into a movie?

Which fic would you most like to write a sequel to?

Which of your fic titles is your favorite?

What title do you want to use, but can't figure out a story to fit?

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title?

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a song?

Pick one of your fics and share three songs to go with it

Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each

Pick one of your fics and share an image to go with it. (Unsplash is a good source)

Pick one of your fics and share a quote to go with it (not a quote from the fic, but an outside quote that fits)

[jaggedamethyst]

not in that way (part two)

bucky barnes x fwb!reader

content: as both of your best friends, steve tries to get you and bucky to bond

warnings: 18+ minors dni, smut in an elevator, fingering (r!receiving), discreet, mutual pining, angst, not proofread I'm lazy and tired

notes: thank you guys for the response to the first part...what the fuck?? everything i write for bucky goes insane and i didn't think people wanted more but i got too many messages not to keep writing for him.

ps: wanted to post this tonight… so it may not be seamless, but i will edit when im fully awake bc im half asleep dn

series master list

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆　 。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

The next time you saw Bucky was the following day. He was seated next to Steve as the pair of them lounged in the grass at a park near your house. Steve and you came here a lot—him making a reason to escape Avengers duty and you simply being within walking distance. 

“Hi.” You offered an awkward wave to the men, sitting down on the throw blanket they’d laid in the grass. 

While Steve greeted you Bucky hardly acknowledged your presence, averting his eyes to watch his friend next to him. Steve dug into a bag beside him and pulled out a few small notebooks. One of them was noticeably more worn; you recognized it as his own sketchbook. 

In his free time since being off ice, Steve found solace in drawing the world around him. Between each image would linger small lists of to-dos, figures of speech he had to know, and bucket list items he hoped to complete one day. He was almost finished with this one, keeping it on him to use at his leisure. He wanted to offer the experience to you both as well, his best friends. 

“I got you these,” Steve passed you and Bucky each a book. “I also have some of my favorite pencils here.” He grabbed a handful and let them fall in front of you. “Whenever I’m feeling...overwhelmed or anxious I just,” he exhaled a deep breath, “I just put something in here. It helps.” 

You and Bucky watched him intently, nodding at his explanation. 

He continued, “We don’t have to talk—you guys don’t have to…but maybe we could just do this together?” 

“I’d like that.” You spoke first, grabbing a few of the pencils and an eraser. 

“Me too.” 

Bucky spoke. It was low and filled with apprehension, like he was testing the waters of what it was like to use his own voice. You whipped your head to him at the sound, arching your brow as his covered hands reached for a book and pencil. He sat for a while, though, just looking between you and Steve without putting anything down. 

As time passed you chuckled at your paper a bit, drawing a rough picture of Steve’s concentrated face. He was quite fond of birds, you realized, and he would often draw them. Their presence was fleeting and he loved that challenge, the idea that one moment they could be here and the next gone. It was similar to life in that way, how the people he loved most would be with him and then not. 

The greatest joys of his life were when a bird would return, perched on the ground in front of him. He found that his life in particular was like that. Just when he thought Bucky was gone, he came back. He was able to finish his drawing now, and you were an amazing addition to the artwork. 

“So,” Steve clasped his hands together, “Who wants to show theirs off?” 

You perked up and excitedly flipped your with a laugh, pointing to Steve’s upturned face in the sketch. 

He immediately laughed and snatched your book, eyeing the scratch before looking up at you. “No way we sat here for an hour and you drew me in your book.” 

“Believe it,” you shrugged, “I’m an artist.” 

Steve scoffed playfully before tossing the book back to you with a light underhand throw. “What about you, Buck?” 

He’d been into it by then. You weren’t sure when he started to actually draw but he wouldn’t look away. His brows were pinched and he pulled at the inner skin of his cheek in concentration. You and Steve exchanged a look when he didn’t reply. 

Steve outstretched a hand toward the book, “Bucky-“ The harsh movement of Bucky pulling his work back toward his chest cut Steve off—he held his hands up in a surrender. “Sorry, buddy. You okay?” 

“I’m good just…got kind of invested.” 

You nodded, observing the way Bucky still clutched the book. “It’s really relaxing Steve. This was a great idea. Right, Bucky?” 

“Right.” He looked between you and Steve before closing the small book and tucking it into his jacket’s inner pocket. He moved to stand suddenly backing toward the road, “I’ll be in the car when you guys are done.” 

He was always like this, pushed people away.

Steve looked to you when Bucky was out of earshot. “Did I say something?” The look on his face was one of pure confusion and concern. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t push it. At least he actually put pencil to paper, you know?”

“You’re right—this is sort of a milestone if you think about it.” 

“I agree, big step for him.” 

On the way back to the tower you let your mind be on Bucky again—the way he so quickly let the good moments be pushed away by whatever small thing bothered him. 

There wasn’t much talking as the group of you got into the elevator, save for Steve making a last-ditch effort to get you and Bucky to talk again. 

“I have a few things to do, but feel free to wait around and we can hang out again later.” He stood facing the elevators closed doors with a stoicism he always had. 

Neither you or Bucky spoke as Steve stepped out of the elevator—his words seeming like an order rather than a random comment. He had that authoritative way about him.

A few seconds after, the doors shut and allowed the cart to spring into action. It made you wobble a bit, the startling movement making you both off balance briefly. 

When he regained his composure Bucky finally spoke, glancing over at you. “Today was a good day.” His voice was filled with unease, not having a moment alone with you since the day prior. 

You nodded, “It was. I had fun.” It was fine, entertaining the small talk. “You have fun?” 

He looked over to you as the tension he’d been holding slowly dissipated—you had that affect on him. Bucky was instead filled with nerves as your eyes rested on him. His lips parted to speak in response but he couldn’t. Not when you were looking at him so fondly, actually interested in whether or not he enjoyed himself. 

All he could muster was a tight nod, assuring you that he had enjoyed himself, before looking ahead to the elevator doors. Then they jolted again, this time stopping abruptly at the pull of the emergency stop button. 

He looked over at you again but this time in confusion, concern even. “What are you doing?” 

“Why are you being weird?” You tucked yourself into the corner, covering the button so he couldn’t try to leave. You knew, of course, that had he tried he'd be out of here faster than you could even process. But the fact that he hadn’t moved an inch said enough to you. 

“I’m not. I’m being my normal self-“ 

“Normal for you isn’t…whatever this is.” You looked him up and down, “You’re more—more reserved, methodical. You’re not a jittery person, Bucky.” 

He let out an amused scoff, “I’m only jittery because we’re stuck in an elevator.” 

“You could get out and you know that.” You crossed your arms, “You just don’t want to.” 

“That’s not it-“ 

“Bucky?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Move me.” You stepped off the wall and inched closer to him. “Move me out the way and press the button.” 

He swallowed but didn’t move—like you expected. Suddenly, you broke the eye contact. He watched you turn and push the red knob back into place. 

As the metal box started to move again you scoffed at him, purposely avoiding eye contact. His breathing sped up, suddenly enticed to prove you so extremely right. 

“Fuck it,” he grabbed your hip with a single had a let his lips fall onto yours. He’d simultaneously pulled the button with a free hand, distracting you by how eagerly he’d started kissing you. 

The startling jolt of the elevator and Bucky combined sent you back into the side wall, colliding with the long bar with a hiss. Bucky didn’t stop, swallowing the sound with his own mouth on yours. He was needy, pressing his tongue into and through your lips. He’d waited so long for this, and it was absolutely worth it. 

You were completely insatiable. You let Bucky use you, a fondness for the feeling now. The both of you moaned into each other, carelessly wrapping yourselves in one another. You snaked your hands up to his face, pulling him in impossibly closer. You could feel his stubble on your face, suddenly smiling at the burn you’d have between your thighs with him settled there. He felt your smirk and pulled away to look at you. 

Buck smirked, too. You were in a daze, swaying on your feet as your eyes pulled back into focus. 

He watched you leaned into the wall, lowering his head. The layered top of his hair fell over, covering your view of his beautiful face. He stayed looking down but spoke in a low tone, “Take off your pants.” 

“Make. Me.” You smiled, repeating yourself slowly. 

He made a show of lifting his head and letting his hair settle back into place. He was in that damn jacket again, always was. You stayed watching him, tilting your head in amusement as he shrugged off his jacket and let I fall to the floor. Even slower, he took off his gloves. You’d never even actually seen both his hands, only hearing of the metal arm that rested beneath his clothing. 

He let his hand flex in front of you, gulping at how quickly he’d decided to show you this part of himself. Bucky didn’t think twice, actually, completely motivated by the opportunity to be close to you. He kept eye contact, hands on his hips and moving forward until your chests met. 

“I have no problem taking matters into my own hands.” With that he simply moved a hand to your pants button. You could tell he was proud, bobbing his head lightly at the way he could so easily strip you without even looking away from your face. You cracked a smile at the way he slid your clothes off, leaving you bare on the bottom. He let you slip your shoes off too, still chest to chest. 

He kept looking at you, spreading your legs with his thigh. He ignored the way you were dripping, sliding one of your legs up onto his waist. He kept his grip there, firmly holding you. 

“Don’t move, I got you.” 

He slipped two fingers into you slowly, pumping in and out at a torturous pace that immediately had your jaw dropping. The sight of you unraveling was amazing and he kept his eyes locked with yours until they fluttered shut. 

You felt helpless, completely entranced by his fingers rubbing your walls. Your breaths came out ragged, “We just—we don’t tell him okay?” You shook your head, eyes opening slightly at Bucky. 

“Mhm, yeah…no Steve.” Bucky looked at you, eyebrows pinched and whimpering. “It’s nothing-“

“Right.” You moaned between each word now, bouncing with his harsh movement. “Nothing.” 

He kept going, speeding up at the squelching sounds that was now like music to his ears. He could tell you were struggling, teetering on the edge every few seconds but not quite exploding. The continuous heat made it feel like you could pop at any moment. It was too good. He was too good. It felt cliche to let this overtake what was blossom for you both—the transition from acquaintance to friend. 

But you couldn’t help it. 

You’d been holding onto the bar on the wall, but the position was a lot. As he pressed into you over and over you started to lose balance, hardly standing on the toes of one foot. He kept going even as you shook. He felt your body sliding, hardly keeping yourself up anymore. Your hand fell to the side and accidentally highlighted over a cluster of the floor buttons, illuminating them in an irregular pattern. 

Bucky chuckled but quickly readjusting without missing a beat. He nudged your body into his arm more, completely holding you up with ease now. You felt like a ragdoll and it reminded you so quickly of the sheer strength of the man that was in you now. You could tell with his hand jacking into you regardless, the flesh of him flexing into you so tastefully. 

He suddenly stopped, slipping out of you as you gripped his next for more leverage. He again moved you with ease, putting you into his right arm now. His head tilted, ready to see your reaction to his metal hand filling you. 

You gasped at the cooled tips of his fingers teasing your hole, just barely entering before he pulled back out. He could tell you were sensitive now and savored it, only letting you feel him when you calmed down from his slow pumps before. 

He let you whine like this for a bit longer for adding a finger, surprising you with three fingers ramming into you. He was completely soulless about it now, mouth agape at the way your body reacted. He knew you were close and urged you on. 

“Doing so good.” He nodded, “You gonna come soon?” His tone was almost mocking, your condition evident. Suddenly you snapped, head falling into his neck. 

“Yes, yes, yes…” You couldn’t help but repeat to yourself, whispering through the writhes into his palm. 

Your hips rolled and he met you with a soft kiss into your temple. You slowed, then, coming down from the intensity of the ordeal.

You breathed into him without a word, smirking at the man in from of you. Bucky let you down, grabbing your pants for you and sliding them onto your now wobbling legs. He nudged your shoes with his feet before kneeling down and sliding them on, patting your leg when he was done. You were in another world, only slipping back to him at the sound of the elevator returning to motion.

You let out a laugh at the elevator slowly stopping on a random assortment of floors. At a higher one Bucky finally stepped off, turning back to look at you for a second. You hadn’t expected anything more; he was often wordless and he proved you right the night before…when he left so carelessly. 

“You coming?” 

With a ding the elevator doors slowly moved to close. Through them you watched Bucky, standing and looking at you expectedly. “Just did, actually.” 

He choked at that but jerked forward, putting a hand between to doors to stop them. “So is that a yes?” He tilted his head back, “Maybe watch a movie or something?” 

You intended to head home at first, not expecting him to extend this hand. This wasn’t like him—his usual closed off self. Admittedly you enjoyed this better. He now had a willingness that never was there before. It was jarring—the way he seemed to do a 180 from last night. 

You reasoned that maybe you could enjoy yourself and finally be the friend Steve needed you to be—to love his friend the way he did so many years ago. For Bucky it was grasping at straws; he wanted to keep you around in any way he could. He would never be Steve—could never be the image of a perfect man that you deserved. 

We’re better as friends. 

He repeated the mantra in his mind, affirming himself despite part of him saying otherwise. He could stand be this with you, friends with something more every once in a while. Hell, every day if you let him. He settled so you wouldn’t have to. You didn’t deserve someone like him, an undeniable shroud of darkness that clouded over your blinding light. 

“You know what, why the hell not?” You stepped off the elevator cart and brushed by the man. “I get to pick the movie though.” 

“‘Course, doll.” 

tag list (click to request to be tagged, please read tag list rules)

@crookedtimetravelheart @wintercrows @rimunagenius @gorgeouslylethal @taylormobley @fan4astic @chimchoom @lilulo-12 @greatenthusiasttidalwave @hrlzy @foxinthestreet98 @lostinspace33 @royallykt @sleepysongbirdsings @pickuptruck01 @unclearblur @mrsalexstan @akiyhara @spaceconveyor @winchestert101 @chinggay85-blog @misschicl3 @bbyboyycal @aurafite @scott-loki-barnes @the-sylver-dragon @bxtchboy69 @mrsnikstan @lilbloggs @ana-cxst @regics @oceanaroma @milaer @lexavalon052 @anonymously-buckys @maryevm @blazeflays @p1nkgirly333 @antiartemis @abitofblues @a-century-of-sass @mindsofjade @jumpingjackalope @smalland-angry @slasherbuck @nicolebarnes @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @bonnyclydecat @coutureisart

(for some of you it may not let me tag, check ur settings or if anyone has advice on how to fix it lmk!!)

[aeribbon]

bf!lando headcanons x photographer!reader

warning; english isn't my first language

an; requests are open !

navigation / masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who constantly 'borrows' your expensive cameras cause "yours are way better than his".

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who pretends to not like you photographing him off-guard but secretly enjoys it as his feed is full of candid photos you took of him.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who gets slightly jealous whenever you take pictures of others drivers in the paddock, especially when they compliment you for the photos afterwards.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who every now and then, finds little polaroids you took of yourself in his stuffs with little note you left for when you can't attend races.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who gets protective when someone criticise your works and doesn't hesitate to clap back on twitter. he'll quote tweet with his latest favorite works of yours and say something like ''i would hate to be jobless and know nothing about photography''.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who will prepare you late snacks when youre running late in editing your work and even try to help you with his editing skills. you would always be thankful and express the fact that you're lucky to have him, he will joke and say that you'll pay him back with pretty pictures of him in his racing car next time.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who asks you every day to open an exhibition of your work, but you always feel unready—until one day, he takes you on a date and surprises you with a gallery filled with your photos... and some of his favorite shots of you.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who keeps a folder of all the photos you took together for when he's away for races and he misses you.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who has a complete different aesthetic than you but always tries to match the pictures he posts to your instagram feed.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who brags about you to everyone in the paddock and express his proudness anytime you're behind the covers of the latest vogue magazines.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who always tries to show you off to the cameras present at the paddock even tho you told him that you prefer to be the one behind the lenses.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who gets emotional when you gave him his birthday gift. a personal photo series that you haven’t shown anyone, just raw, emotional captures of your boyfriend in unguarded moments. he even gets teary-eyes !

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who when he can't sleep, because of the jet lag, starts a little photoshoot of you in his hotel room. it always end up in you posing and doing ridiculous poses (which he doesn't hesitate to post on his instagram stories).

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who always includes multiple photos you took of him in his race day dump on social medias.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who is 'forced' to take part in your ritual which consists of him posing for your camera before every races. he pretends to be forced, when he secretly looks forwards to it as he thinks it brings him luck—you started the ritual the day of his first f1 win.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who always asks you to be here whenever he has to do a professional photoshoot.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who loves to bother you when you have to edit photos of others because he says you should be only taking photos of him.

✮⋆˙ BF!LANDO who walks into your hotel room after a long race day and finds you sitting on the floor, legs crossed, editing photos with tired eyes and a focused cute face. you're wearing his hoodie, dirty with lens cleaner. he crouches behind you, rests his chin on your shoulder, and quietly whispers, “you make everything look like art.” you quietly whispers “that’s because i photograph what i love,” he kisses your temple, lets out a little laugh, and walks away, leaving more sure than ever that you’ve already found your forever.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[harryspet]

rough hands, soft chains [4] r. cameron

[warnings] dark!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, arranged marriage, rancher au, manipulation, size difference, jealousy, DUBCON, oral sex, rafe is HUGE, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

a/n: I posted this drabble about readers' state of mind at the end of chapter 3 if you'd like read it before this chapter :)

In which everything is perfect, it's you and Rafe’s wedding shower, and nothing could possibly go wrong.

word count: 5.5k

rough hands, soft chains masterlist

“I hate this shit,” Rafe grumbled, fumbling with the engraved silver buckle that adorned his belt. You thought he looked handsome. His shirt was crisp and white, his leather blazer a deep charcoal with subtle western embroidery, and his dark-wash jeans looked expensive but well-worn enough to look natural on him. He looked like the perfect cowboy to you. He’d sat his deep brown hat on the edge of your freshly made bed before he plopped down next to it, “We should stay up here. Have Wheezie bring us food.”

"But it's our wedding shower," you murmured absentmindedly, your focus fixed on the precise sweep of your mascara wand. Each coat was deliberate, just enough to make your eyes stand out, but not so much that it overwhelmed the rest of your look.

“I never would’ve agreed to let Rose plan this if I-I …. if I knew there had to be an engagement party, bridal shower, wedding shower, and a rehearsal dinner before we even got to the actual wedding.” 

“But you only get married once, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah, baby,” Rafe continued, waving a hand dismissively, “But that’s not the point.”

You spent another five minutes adding blush and bronzer, then you spent a full ten minutes doing your lips, and you topped it off with a fine mist, locking everything into place. Your armor for the day. Rafe had begun pacing but that wasn’t out of the norm, “How do I look?” You asked when you finally revealed your carefully designed look to match the dress you and Sarah had bought together. 

The dress was made of delicate lace, an ivory color, that gave a hint of the skin beneath. The bodice was fitted, hugging your curves, strapless and the skirt flowed softly from your waist, ending above your knees. It was completely romantic, in your opinion, and Sarah had begged you to get it. 

At first, Rafe said nothing. His expression shifted, his brow knitting together, lips pressing into a firm line. His eyes locked onto you, dark and unreadable. He scratched at the back of his head, shifting his weight from foot to foot, a sign that something was brewing beneath his surface. 

“Uh,” Rafe started, his eyes going wide, “Fuck …yeah, baby, you look fucking gorgeous.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face, glossy lips pulled into a curve. You walked closer and Rafe placed his hands on your hips, “You think so?” You batted heavy eyelashes up at him, placing your hands on his chest. You felt his heart beating fast beneath your palm. 

“Don’t do that,” Rafe smirked, leaning down until his breath was fanning over your face, “I’ll keep you up here, I will. Tie you down to the bed.” 

“That will mess up my makeup.”

“Well, I was going to mess up your makeup either way. You can decide if it’s before or after the party.”

He didn’t wait for your response, leaning down to peck your lips. It was brief but soft and warm. You giggled when you opened your eyes, finding his lips glossy in the same shade of pink as yours. 

You liked the version Rafe you’d gotten to know over the last two weeks. It made your heart race with anxiety to even think about him pinning you down on Ward’s desk. But your heart filled up when you thought about laying next to Rafe everyday after that. You felt broken, barely able to pull yourself out of bed, but he stayed with you. He made sure you ate, kept Rose from prying into your business, and brought you flowers nearly every other day, filling the surface of your antique dresser. You did your best to care for them, but only now were they beginning to wilt.

He wiped his lips with the sleeve of his suit jacket and you saw a bit of blush rise in his cheeks. 

You pulled from him, crossing the room to your closet. You picked out the strappy heels that you’d also bought with Sarah. You came back to sit on your bed, leaning down to lace them onto your feet. Rafe rounded your footboard, hand hanging on the wood and upholstery. 

“I’m excited,” You admitted, “I’m, like, nervous still. But it’s exciting.”

You glanced at him, finding his eyes fixed on your exposed legs, his eys trailing up to your thighs. It was a hungry look. He’d grown kinder but his appetite was still there. Part of you worried that his darker side might return, that he couldn’t contain his true nature, and it was a matter of time before he snapped. He held you tight at night, his fingers slipped into the front of your panties, oftentimes when you were still drowsy in the morning. He took your orgasms from you, as he always did, but he hadn’t pushed you again like that day two weeks ago. 

“You should be excited,” He said, “We’re very close to life being exactly as it should be.” 

You gave him an agreeing look. A honeymoon in Florida and then you and Rafe would have a whole house to yourself. A home. You didn’t know what you wanted from life before you met Rafe. You knew you wanted your Dad back but since you couldn’t have that, following his wishes would the next best thing. Maybe this was the best thing your father could’ve done for you. 

“I’m excited to meet Kiara,” You said, finishing strapping your feet into your heels. You stood, taller than before, but still much shorter than Rafe. 

“Kie?” Rafe’s brow raised and your heart stumbled, afraid that you had made a mistep, “What do you mean?”

Sarah had explained that Rafe didn’t necessarily like her friends but you also understood that Rafe didn’t like many things in general.  You'd thought hard about it once. He liked you and Wheezie. He liked whiskey. He liked movies where guys raced fast cars. He liked riding his horse and working with his Dad. You couldn't come up with anything else.

"Sarah’s bringing her as a date," you said, your voice turning a little unsure. "And, um, I think her family is, like… catering the wedding? I think?"

You could feel him thinking deeply, “Interesting.” Was all he said. 

That sounded neutral, right? Neutral was good. Safe.

You smiled, encouraged. "Oh! I was thinking it’d be fun if she came to my bachelorette too! So it’s not just me and Sarah."

“What about Wheeze?” He asked, voice deep and concerned. 

“Oh,” You started, “Sarah thinks she’s too young.”

“Sarah,” he spoke his sister’s name like it was a cruse, “You know she’ll be pissed. And I don’t think Sarah should be planning anything for your day that isn’t appropriate for my little sister. I thought you guys were going to the spa or something.”

You took in all his words, beginning to feel guilty about not including Wheezie, “I can talk to Sarah,” You said, “I just don’t know what most girls do. Sarah seemed to have good ideas about fun things to do. And she said the spa ideas was, um, boring.”

“Sarah’s idea of fun should not be your idea of fun.”

Your brows furrowed. Now you were confused, “But …” Despite the time you had spent with him, you’d yet to learn how to successfully argue with him, “What’s my idea of fun then?”

Sometimes you liked when Rafe filled in all of your blanks. It kept you from thinking too much and overthinking always led to shallow breaths and watery eyes. 

Rafe exhaled, like he’d already worked this all out in his head. “Something that involves Wheezie.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was an answer. You nodded automatically. “Okay.”

It was a simple enough request. You’d just have to tell Sarah. And really, what was there to do in town, anyway? It wasn’t like you had a million options.

The backyard stretched endlessly, turing into rolling hills, and groves of towering pines. Edison bulbs twinkled above your head, shining light down onto long, wooden banquet tables. Dinner was over. Everyone was standing now, drinking glasses of wine, and talking in small groups. The Cameron’s knew a lot of people. People you didn’t even recognize from living here all your life. Rafe explained that they were business partners. A live band, one man with an acoustic guitar, the other with a fiddle played softly from a wooden platform. 

You were at Rafe’s side for a majority of the night. A photographer also seemd to follow the two of you everywhere. Under Rose’s direction, you took posed photos under a floral arch with white roses, Montana wildflowers and fresh greenery. In one, Rafe tilted your chin up, kissing you so deeply that you thought your heart might explode. 

The sky had darkened, the party continued to stretch into the night, and Rafe’s attention began to wander. He’d made it to his fifth bud light and now he was loudly talking into his friend, Kelce’s ear, his hand having left your hips moments before. 

You decided to look for Sarah, slipping away because Rafe wasn’t paying attention to you anyways. Some people walked up to you to congratulate you, some to offer condolences, and some just stared. 

You weren’t sure what to say to any of them. The words tangled somewhere in your throat, so you just smiled. Small, pretty, vacant.  You scanned the crowd, searching for Sarah’s familiar silhouette, but all you found were unfamiliar faces, whispering in hushed voices as their eyes lingered on you just a second too long.

Once you made your way back inside, shuffling through servers in their bright white shirts, you found Wheezie standing in the foyer, her eyes fixed down on her phone, “Wheezie, have you seen Sarah?” You asked and she barely looked up. 

“She left.” 

You stomached dipped, “What do you mean?”

“Kiara and her walked out like twenty minutes ago. Think they went to the barn.”

“Oh," You tried to hide your disappointment with a small grin, “Why?”

“I don’t know why Sarah does anything she does,” Wheezie tilted her head, studying you, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go look for them.”

“Alone?” She inquired, “Rafe’s gonna come looking for you.”

“He’s busy, I think,” You said, “I’ll be back in like ten minutes anways!”

Although Wheezie didn’t look convinced, she didn’t stop you either. She simply hummed, shifting her focus back to her phone. You walked out the front door, feeling the cool night air on your skin. You decided to leave your heels behind, knowing they’d just get stuck in the mud. Rafe would notice you were gone, eventually, but still your feet carried you forward. 

You recalled the first night you were here, when Rafe walked with you to the barn, and spread your legs on the floor of it. The other building, farther off in the distance, was the ranch hand’s quarters. You remembered that too. 

You heard them before you saw them. Laughter. Sarah’s was unmistakable and you’d gotten used to John B’s voice as well but you hesitated at the barn’s open doors when you heard an unfamiliar male voice. Slowly, you peered inside. You spotted Sarah sitting on a bale of hay next to a girl with light brown skin and curly hair. Sarah had an entire bottle of wine in her hand and sipped from it casually. 

Across from them stood John B. and a dark-skinned boy with a lean build and soft, deep brown eyes. Next to him was a boy whose sun-kissed blonde hair was kept in check by a weathered white cowboy hat. His skin was tanned and his smile was wide with mischief. 

A strong smell hit your nose too, earthy and smoky. You assumed it came from the cigarette in John B.'s hand, or at least, you thought it was a cigarette. 

It was too late to abort, because the blonde had spotted you and, in turn, all eyes turned to you. You wandered into the light of the barn awkwardly, your eyes meeting Sarah’s, her brown one’s lighting up with excitement, “Y/N!” She shouted, handing the wine bottle over to Kiara, and crossing the space to get to you. Her arms wrapped around your waist as she pulled you forward, “Guys, this is Y/N! Y/N, these are my friends I was telling you about.”

The group looked you over with curious eyes, their smiles friendly but tinged with cautious skepticism, as if still unsure of what to make of you.

She pointed them all out. Pope, JJ and Kiara. John B., you knew, of course. “Welcome,” John B. said. 

“Hi,” You waved. 

“You look so good!” Sarah exclaimed and you smelt the wine on her breath, “I was telling everyone how beautiful you are!”

“Thank you,” You smiled faintly, glancing over at Kiara, who gave you a soft, welcoming wave, “...Um, how come you guys didn’t come to the party?” 

“Oh–” JJ started but Pope quickly interjected. 

“It was a little too crowded,” Pope said, offering you an apologetic smile.

You nodded, accepting it, but your eyes couldn’t help but find JJ’s. His gaze was intense, but not in the way Rafe’s could be. It was the kind of stare that took you in without any hidden motive, no pressure. Just curiosity.

“Yeah,” Sarah chimed in, trying to ease the moment. “But I’m glad you came out here.”

“Rafe didn’t follow you, did he?” Kiara asked and you felt the tension that grew between the five of them. 

“No,” You shook your head, “I didn’t say anything,” you assured them, looking at each of them with wide, innocent eyes.

“Good,” Sarah said in approval and your mood lightened. 

JJ, however, seemed unfazed by the tension. He pushed past Pope, whose gaze had hardened slightly, as if issuing a warning that went unnoticed. JJ’s eyes were back on you, and his voice was playful as he moved closer, his grin widening. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” You blinked, feeling a little taken aback.

“Yeah, word gets around,” JJ replied, his eyes scanning you again, like he was memorizing your every detail. You fidgeted with the edge of your lace dress,  “And now I see why. You're hard to miss.”

“JJ,” John B. and Pope spoke at the same time. 

“What? I was just about to offer our guest some refreshments,” He turned to look at them but his gaze was fixed back on you soon. He gestured to the makeshift bar sitting on top of one of the stall gates. A bottle of clear liquor, a six-pack of beers with only two beers left, and a dirty shot glass, “She’s the bride. Gotta make sure she has a good time.”

“You don’t have to drink anything,” Sarah said. 

“She should at least have a shot,” JJ argued, “It’s her party, after all.”

You hesitated, but something about JJ’s easy confidence made the thought of refusing feel wrong. You didn’t want to come off as boring. 

“JJ, don’t be weird,” Kiara spoke, sounding annoyed, “That’s Rafe’s fiance.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Big, bad, Rafe. I’m shaking in my boots,” You didn’t understand and your eyes darted between all of them before they landed back on JJ, “What do you say, Y/N? Celebratory shot?’

It was just a shot. Nothing crazy. Except you’d forgotten to eat in all the commotion and attention, and the alcohol immediately went to your head. Plus, it burned your throat. You coughed but JJ’s smiled wider, making you think that you’d done something right. Everyone else was watching you with interest. 

Moments later, he was pouring you another and cracking open the rest of the beers, handing one to Kiara and then to Pope, “To new friends?” He raised his glass and you glanced around as everyone raised their respective glasses. 

“To new friends,” The others answered reluctantly and tilted back their drinks. You downed the second shot, wincing as it went down, smoother than the first one but still awful. 

Surprisingly, you heard Kiara laugh, “You’re brave for drinking out of that glass, girl.” 

"You’re more fun than I expected, cowgirl," JJ said with a teasing grin, his voice low and smooth.

“That’s mean, JJ.” Kiara said.

“Seriously, you’re cool, how did you end up engaged to Rafe?”

"JJ," John B. warned, his voice a little sharp as he glanced at him.

To your surprise, Pope, who’d been mostly quiet up until now, chimed in with a serious look. “No, I think it’s a valid question.”

You froze for a second. It wasn’t like you could just come out and say, well, it’s complicated and totally a mess. You didn’t even know what was going on with Rafe half the time. You decided to shrug it off, “I’m still figuring things out,” You tried to sound casual, though your heart was pounding, “I mean, we’re figuring things out together.”

“Enough interrogating, guys,” John B. said and you were grateful.

You’d been gone for too long, anyways, “I should get back to the party. It was really nice meeting ya'll.”

“We’ll see you around then, Y/N,” Pope smiled at you and you couldn’t help but feel warm. Or maybe that was just the alcohol.

“Yeah,” you agreed. You turned to Kiara, “Kiara, I hope you can come to my bachelorette.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” She spoke in a way that made you think she might be coolest girl you’d ever met. 

“Alright,” As you walked pass, Sarah grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. The warmth of her touch felt like a promise, like you’d just been accepted into something new, something different than what you were used to.

When you were back in the night, clear of the barn doors, you heard Pope’s voice loudly erupt, “Are you a fucking idiot, JJ?” 

Back inside the house, you searched for Wheezie, wanting her to break the news to Rose that you wanted to retire for the night. The party could certainly go on without you seeing as you knew barely anyone here. Your eyes felt tired, and honestly you felt a little bit wobbly, “Wheezie,” You whispered, as you peaked around corners and opened all the downstairs doors, hoping to find her on her phone, “Wheeeeezie.”

You made your way upstairs next, deciding to check her room. The teenager’s room was completely empty and you let out a tired huff. You just needed to lay down for a second. As soon as you turned on your heel, Rafe appeared, tall legs hurrying up the stairs. 

“Y/N,” His voice boomed as heavy as his steps, “Where you been?”

You tried to steady yourself but you stumbled backwards, “What’s going on, baby?” He caught you quickly, his voice softening. He held your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You leaned against the wall, “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I just …wanted to get away from the party,” You spoke slowly, your head swimming, “I’m fine. Just sleepy.”

Rafe studied you for a moment longer, his brows furrowing as if piecing something together. He looked down at your feet, “You went outside. Where’s your shoes?” 

“Downstairs somewhere. I guess I lost them,” You smiled weakly. 

“Hmm,” He leaned down to kiss your lips and you accepted, your tongue dancing with his.  

He pulled away, his eyes darkening, “You taste like vodka,” he murmured, his voice low and quiet. “Cheap vodka.”

“It’s a party, right?” You asked softly, “Our party.”

“I know they weren’t serving whatever you’ve been drinking. Tell me, what have you been doing? And with who?”

“I feel like … I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

His hand reached up, cupping your face with surprising tenderness. “I won’t be mad at you,” he said, his voice reassuring, though his eyes betrayed something darker. “But I need to know, darlin’. And I need you to be honest.”

You faltered, struggling with your words. “I don’t want you to be mad at anyone else either. Can we just go to bed?”

His jaw tightened, his patience wearing thin. “Sarah,” he muttered, his voice low. “She gave it to you, didn’t she?”

“Wha–” You froze as Rafe’s jaw tightened, “It wasn’t her–”

“And you smell like fucking weed,” His face scrunched up and his voice turned low and painful. 

"I smell like... a weed?" you asked, confused, the words coming out in a dazed haze as you tried to process his words.

“Fucking Pogues,” Rafe cursed and you yelped when his fist pounded against the wall beside your head, “Stay here. I’ll deal with this.”

You reached out to grab his arm, your fingers trembling against tense muscles beneath his skin, “Wait. No, no, no, stay here with me.” 

He grabbed you next, and lifted you off your feet as he dragged you across the hallway. You tried to pull away, to get him to let you go, but his grip tightened. "Rafe, please!" you cried, struggling to free yourself, but it was futile. His hold on you was ironclad.

"Stay the fuck in here. I’ll be right back," he commanded, his voice colder than ice as he forced you into his room. The door slammed shut and then there was a wall between the two of you. The click of the lock followed and you stumbled back, your heart racing. 

You heard his footsteps retreat, a few heavy thuds followed by the faint sound of him calling out to someone. You pressed your ear against the door, straining to hear anything, but it was quiet for a moment.

You hurried towards the window, pressing your palms against the cool glass as you looked down toward the front of the house. Through the dim light spilling from the porch, you could see a trio of men walking in a purposeful, determined line away from the house.

He’ll be right back. You doubted that. You should’ve laid down then. But you did your best to undo the zipper of your dress, needing more room to breathe, before you wandered into Rafe’s closet. You pushed a mountain of clothes to the side, settling in the corner, and cried your makeup away. 

How did you manage to mess up everything with Sarah, her friends, and Rafe all in one night? Why did you have to ruin everything?

It wasn’t the first time Rafe had blown up at Sarah. She often stood in the way of everything he wanted in life. Ward loved her more than him, for some unknown reason that baffled Rafe the more he tried to understand it. This night was about him and you and yet Sarah and her pogue friends had to crash their party. Rafe couldn’t have one thing that was just his. Now she was trying to corrupt you, his sweet and clueless bride. 

“Where’s the rest of your friends?” Rafe asked when he and his friends found just John B., Kiara and Sarah in the barn, “They run? Huh?” 

Sarah rolled her eyes, hard, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t mess with me, Sarah.”

“What? Did you snort too many lines tonight?” 

Rafe imagined his hands around her throat. He squeezed his fist tight, examining the scene before him, assessing what exactly he could get away with in this moment. Soon, someone would notice that both Rafe and his future bride had disappeared from their own party. He was on thin ice with Ward already.

Kiara shifted, stepping in front of Sarah like some kind of shield. “Back off, Rafe.” Her voice was steady, but he could see the way her hands clenched into nervous fists.

Rafe let out a cold laugh, pointing straight at his sister, his gaze razor-sharp. “I’ll make every last one of your little Pogue friends miserable, you hear me?” His voice was low, dangerous, a promise rather than a threat. “I’m gettin’ the company, the money, the influence, every goddamn thing. Cameron Ranch pays all their fucking bills, and you know it. You think Heyward’s could run without us? Kie, your parents buy their beef from us, same as every other rich asshole in this town. Y’all survive because we let you…and you …”

Rafe turned towards John B., “You know better. No one else in this town would have you on with your history. And your friend, JJ, if I find out he put one finger on her. I’ll fucking kill him.” His voice dropped to a whisper, seething with a quiet rage. 

It was a promise. His blood boiled at the idea of JJ’s eyes on you. He would’ve killed him if the pogue hadn't been smart enough to run. That’s why he left you in his room, he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he saw him. 

“That’s enough!” Sarah shouted, her expression twisted in frustration, “Stop, Rafe. You got your point across.”

“Nothing even happened, asshole,” Kiara said. 

“Like he should believe that,” Topper scoffed, speaking up, “Dirty pogues.”

“Let it go,” John B. said, “Before you do something you regret, man.” 

Rafe nodded, jaw tight. He considered them lucky. Damn lucky. They were on his property, his land, trespassing, he had every right to go after them, “Keep your friends away from Y/N,” Rafe said to his sister, “I’m serious.”

“You can’t control who she’s friends with!”

“I promise you won’t like it if you push me on this one, Sarah,” With one last glance at Sarah, he turned on his heel, heading back toward the house, back toward something far more important, back towards you. 

Rose ripped into him, of course, after the happy couple completely abandoned their own wedding shower. He would’ve preferred his father’s yelling over hers. She cornered him in the foyer, before he could climb the stairs, and Rafe started to feel a headache coming on. It was then he remembered the beers and the fact that he was not even close to sober. It wasn’t his fault the night ended in disaster. He’d done his part, networked, kept up appearances, and even posed for a million photos. The Pogues showing up and manipulating his fiance into getting drunk was out of his control. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Wheezie peaking from the bannister upstairs. She was eavesdropping, of course. He apologized to Rose instead of raising his voice. She continued. He apologized five more times. She didn’t accept, he didn’t expect her to. She threw up her hands in exhaustion, said she was going to talk to Ward, and then stormed off. 

With a heavy sigh, Rafe climbed the stairs.

His nosy little sister asked, “Why is Y/N crying in your room? She sounds like a kicked puppy.”

Rafe’s jaw clenched. Great.

“Ask Sarah,” Rafe spoke curtly, annoyed. He reached into his pocket for his keys. 

“Sarah?”

“Goodnight, Wheezie.” Was all he said before he unlocked his bedroom door, pushed inside, and slammed it shut. 

He understood immediately what Wheezie meant by you sounding like a kicked puppy. You weren’t where he expected you'd be but it didn’t take long to narrow down where you were. He gave himself a few minutes to collect himself, bracing for your torrent of emotions, bracing for the anger you probably felt towards him. 

Being mad at him would be useless in the end. Rafe had decided the two of your belonged together. He certainly didn’t believe in soulmates but he understood ownership and possession. Whatever it was, the two of you would work for it, because you belonged to him. 

He found you, head in your hands, shaking like a leaf. He kicked off his boots, lowered down to the ground, and moved next to you, “Y/N?” 

“I’m sorry,” You said immediately, your voice pitiful. 

“You’re sorry, baby?” It wasn’t the reaction he expected from you but he leaned into it, “You’re sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for,” You hiccuped, “For drinking. I don’t know why I did it. I just …” 

“You want Sarah to like you,” Rafe filled in your often incomplete thoughts and you finally looked up. Despite the streaked mascara and smudged lipstick, he thought you looked gorgeous. 

“Yeah … I shouldn’t, right?” You asked hesitantly, "You know, sometimes it feels like everyone knows what’s going on except me. I think she thinks I’m stupid and she’d be right.. I can’t even take care of myself.” 

“Look, I’m not happy with Sarah but I know she doesn’t think that,” Rafe assured you, but made sure to add on, “And you shouldn’t care what she thinks. She hangs out with a bunch of lowlifes. She’s going nowhere. You, baby, have so much potential. So what, you don’t know everything, but you don’t need to take care of yourself. How many times do I have to tell you? That’s my job.”

Rafe watched you nod your head, eyes still watery, “My Dad wanted it.”

“He did,” Rafe agreed, “I don’t like to see you like this …things will be better when we have our own house. Our own family. I know it will.”

“Was she upset?” You wiped your own tears, “When you went out there…” 

“You’re too sweet for your own good.” 

He was watching you closely now, scanning your body language, gauging whether you were on the verge of a panic attack. This moment, it was an opportunity for him. Somehow, despite everything, he wasn’t the bad guy in this situation. Maybe it was the trust he’d built with you over the last two weeks, maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, he wasn’t about to let it slip through his fingers.

“C’mere,” He reached for you, fingers wrapping around your wrists, guiding you toward him. You shuffled forward onto your knees, letting him pull you closer. His hands slid to your hips, gripping firmly as he positioned you over his lap, your legs straddling his. Now, you were right where he wanted you, face to face, eyes locked, nowhere to hide.

“She was upset,” he admitted, his thumbs smoothing slow circles against your sides. “But not as upset as me.”

You blinked, lips parting slightly.

“It wasn’t just the drinking,” he continued, voice low and steady. “It was who you were drinking with. You were with them. Without me.” His jaw tensed. “Knowing that those dirty Pogues got to look at you, be near you-” He inhaled sharply, shaking his head. “You’re the most beautiful thing in my life. I don’t think it’s selfish to want you to myself.”

Shame flickered across your features. 

“I wasn’t thinking,” You murmured and part of Rafe’s mind, the sick part, rejoiced, “I’m so sorry.”

A weak smile tugged at his lips, “I forgive you, baby. I’m not mad anymore. At all. “

He kept his voice reassuring, his words gentle, but his touch was anything but. 

“What makes them so bad, Rafe?” You asked curiously, your voice barely above a whisper, “They didn’t look that dirty to me.”

“Not tonight, I don’t want to talk about them,” Rafe ran his hands over your thighs, traveling beneath the skirt of your dress, before he gripped a handful of your ass in his hands, “I wanna teach you something.”

“Mhm,” You hummed as Rafe leaned into your neck, kissing you softly. You were so responsive, even in this fragile state. 

“I know how you can make it up to me.”

Rafe felt you tense when you felt it, the growing hardness that was currently being restrained by his zipper. Barely contained. He leaned his head down, just as he moved his hands to your breast. He squeezed tightly, savoring the handful, “Rafe …I-I–I don’t know.” 

He did wonder how far he could push you before you couldn’t take it anymore. But he remembered how much further he’d gotten with you being a little more gentle, “Don’t worry,” He assured you, “I’m going to teach you how to use your mouth on me. It won’t hurt at all.”

“It won’t? But …. But  it can’t fit in my mouth.” 

Patience, he reminded himself. 

“I’ll show you,” Rafe pressed his thumb against your soft lips, “Open, baby.”

Rafe saw it in your eyes, the hesitance, the fear but he kept his touch soft. He brushed your tongue, “Suck on my finger,” You closed your mouth around his finger and when he felt your teeth scrape his skin, he added, “But don’t bite. No teeth. That’s lesson number one.”

He moved his thumb slowly in and out of your mouth, allowing you practice. The way your wide eyes were fixed on him, looking for his approval, was probably the sexiest thing he’d seen you do. And you were his, “Good girl, darlin’” he praised, and your lashes fluttered at the words.

He promised to take it slow and was a man of his word. He gave you plenty of practice before the real thing. You were right, he couldn’t fit inside your mouth. Most of him. But he taught you how to hold him, how to stroke him, how to keep touching him in the moments where your mouth got too tired. That was lesson two.  Just the tip this time, you could handle that. He had been holding off for two weeks, and it wouldn’t take much.

And when the moment finally came, when his release spilled hot and thick onto your tongue, Rafe taught you lesson number three.

“You never spit, baby,” he murmured, his thumb grazing your swollen lips. “My cum is your reward for all your hard work. You swallow all of it.”

And when you did, although your face scrunched at the unfamiliarity of it, Rafe pressed a slow, claiming kiss against your lips.

hope you enjoyed!!

[kxsagi]

blue lock boys with an idol s/o and how would they feel with their girlfriend being shipped with another male idol when they're dating secretly

(back from my hellish exams 🤩)

- 🪻

“𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞”

a/n: welcome back!!! here's a little reward for completing those hellish exams 😍

ft. isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, reo mikage, itoshi sae, itoshi rin, chigiri hyoma, kaiser michael (i’m sorry if i’m missing any characters!)

𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 - “𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞”

while you’re showing him a new music video featuring you and your male idol co-star, your boyfriend’s arms are crossed, wearing the most unimpressed expression known to mankind.

➝ “his voice is kinda pitchy,” he randomly comments, despite having no musical knowledge whatsoever.

➝ you squint at him, unimpressed. “babe, that’s literally a pre-recorded track.”

but he’s already moved on, subtly muttering, “his outfit’s kinda mid too,” just to cope. 

𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 - “𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦”

you nervously introduce your boyfriend to your co-star at an exclusive event. your boyfriend, calm and composed, offers the briefest nod possible before he proceeds to talk over the guy every time he tries to say something. if the male idol comments on your vocals, your boyfriend suddenly remembers a “crazy goal” he scored last season and loudly retells the story, making sure you’re paying attention.

➝ “huh? what was that? sorry, i didn’t catch what you said,” he says with a fake polite smile, despite hearing the guy perfectly fine.

𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐨 - “𝐛𝐮𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭”

your boyfriend is scrolling through his feed when he comes across a high-quality, cinematic edit of you and your male idol co-star looking way too good together. the caption reads: “power couple energy 💫” and it has millions of likes.

he doesn’t say a word about it, but two days later, you randomly receive a diamond bracelet with a tiny soccer ball charm. when you confront him, he shrugs nonchalantly.

➝ “what? can’t spoil my girl?”

but you know the ship edit is still living rent-free in his head.

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐬𝐚𝐞 - “𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨-𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲”

after your male idol co-star posts a behind-the-scenes photo of you two laughing together, your boyfriend suddenly becomes a lot more… active on social media.

he casually drops a photo dump with you in it. not too obvious, just little things like your hand in the corner of a pic or your reflection in his sunglasses. but his die-hard fans know.

➝ “wait… is that a girl in his pic? 👀”

➝ “the same nail color as [your name]’s recent live…?”

he smirks at the comments, satisfied.

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐫𝐢𝐧 - “𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭”

your boyfriend doesn’t say anything when he stumbles across a viral ship edit of you and your male idol co-star looking all lovey-dovey. he just calmly puts his phone down and heads straight to his gym.

suddenly, he’s doing way too many reps, shirtless, with his jaw clenched and veins popping like he’s training for the world cup. his music is blasting obnoxiously loud and he’s muttering curses under his breath every time he slams the weights down.

when you come to check on him, he’s drenched in sweat, chest heaving. you raise a brow.

➝ “everything okay?”

he wipes his face with his shirt, exposing his abs. “yeah. just… thinking.”

about what? definitely not the ship edit he saw. 

BONUS: 

after seeing another viral ship edit of you and your male idol co-star, your boyfriend casually posts a gym selfie with his shirt off. his toned abs and veiny arms are on full display, the sweat glistening perfectly under the light. the caption? “feeling good 🤍” with absolutely no context. it immediately gains traction, his comment section flooded with fans thirsting over him. you instantly know why he posted it.

➝ “oh, you’re sooo subtle,” you tease, and he just shrugs with a smug smirk, checking his like count.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐢 𝐡𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐚 - “𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬”

during a post-match interview, your boyfriend is being his usual composed self until the reporter mentions a popular couple collab between you and your male idol co-star. the reporter grins.

➝ “their chemistry is crazy, huh?”

your boyfriend’s jaw ticks almost imperceptibly. but then, with the most neutral tone ever, he shrugs and says:

➝ “yeah, i guess. it’s called acting.”

the internet goes feral dissecting that clip. 

𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 - “𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞”

you’re casually chatting with your fans on a livestream when your boyfriend, who knows he shouldn’t, suddenly strolls into the room in his sweats, shirtless, with his hair still damp from a shower.

you glare at him off-camera, but he conveniently “forgets” you’re live, walking right into the frame with a lazy yawn and stretching his arms, showing off his toned abs.

the chat goes insane.

➝ “wait… WHO IS THAT?!”

➝ “omg her boyfriend?!!!”

➝ “ISN’T THAT MICHAEL KAISER THE SOCCER PLAYER”

you quickly end the live, shooting him a glare.

➝ “seriously?”

he shrugs with a sly smirk.

➝ “what? i just couldn’t take it anymore. the world needs to know you’re mine.”

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[pinkyqily]

ALL MINE - JUJU WATKINS X READER

Summary: school and life is stressing you out but your lovely girlfriend is here to calm the cloudy storm brewing up.

Contains: fluff, fool inlove, juju and reader are down bad for each other. Also ignore the mistakes in one of the text I'll edit it out later

A/n: another game day fic we cheer this is a date fic one of my favorite writing prompt i hope you guys enjoy this, I would have had this posted earlier but tumblr sucks and didn't save half of the ending so I had to redo it but here it's, and as always happy reading, feedbacks are appreciated or commenting in general 💕

It has been a while since you ans the basketball player hangout, with both of you being full time students athletes your schedule would always clash and you guys wouldn't be able to hang.

But that didn't stop your late night calls catching each other up about what is going on in your lives.

Juju could tell you where having a strees full week from your track week and juggling having a part-time job.

You where getting ready for the day that you had ahead of you until you heard your phone pig. Picking it up you saw a message from juju.

You weren't going to question what she had planned because one thing about ju was she stays planning.

Your whole day went well, practice went well your after a while you needed to meet up with a few friends for revision.

You got back at your apartment around three in the afternoon. You started by doing your wash routine that conceited of a coconut butter body wash, then gentility exfoliating any dead skin.

Getting out the shower, you wrapped your towel around you, moving onto your skincare routine and body care routine.

Once you were done, you started getting dressed, picking a black flared tube bodysuit, and paired it with a cropped puffer jacket. You wore your white and gold Jordan 4 that juju got for you, and for a final touch, you added your white Prada cross bag to finish your outfit.

With a final touch of using the Vaseline body oil and your kali perfume in vanilla candy rock sugar.

You picked up your phone to text juju that you were done and she could be coming. After a few minutes of waiting, you got a text from her saying she was outside, but before you left, you replied, Your perfume.

Finally making it outside your building you saw juju leaned back on the car.

"Hey baby." You said, making your way towards her.

"Hi, my love." She said once she saw you

"So where are we going?" You asked her, as you we're about to open the door for yourself she got to the handle before you beating you to it.

"Umm, thinking about me and you a little date night, driver around our area and get some food while we're at it, what do you think." She told you as she closed the door

"Sounds like music to my ears." You said

"Gald were on the same note, how was your practice?". She asked

"Wasn't bad went really well, I'm starting to think these coaches got sum up with them so much complaining before we even start, but things are well." You told her.

You started ranting as juju continued driving but still paid attention to what you we're saying.

"And can you believe that, telling me I'll come third behind some big headed fool."

"No baby, but all that matters is that you prove to her and everyone else that they are wrong, you're the one who knows your strength and weaknesses."She told you as she laid her on your thighs palming your hands together.

"You're right it just gets really irritating having to hear this." You sighed, needing to get that rant out of your system.

"You feel better getting that out?

"Yea how did you even know I needed a day off".

"You looked like you were going through withdrawals on your spam."

"Ugh, don't remind me was spam was meant to be mysterious vibes only." You said.

Taking off your seat belt as she already found a spot to park.

"Pretty sure I'm the mysterious one." She said, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Whatever miss nonchalant, bring your face closer for a sec." You asked her

All of a sudden ju was all in your personal space, you looked up at her getting lost into those dark brown eyes of hers.

You felt her hot breath on your neck.

Next thing you do is pull the neck of her hoodie and go in for a kiss. It caught her off guard, but she found herself grabbing your face, deeping the kiss a little longer.

The both of you move back, trying to catch your breath.

If humans were able to breathe into each other the both of you would be sucking the oxygen out of one another.

"You got me way off guard." Was what she told you as took out her car keys.

"What did you think was gonna happen when I asked you to come closer, big head!?"

"Welp, I thought I had sum on me guess I was wrong."

"Sure, now where are we?". You said with a sarcastic tone layed under it

"This new diner places I recently found, c'om let's get out". She said taking off her seat belt.

"They better have good food."

Walking into the place you and juju had your hand intwering, she wasn't huge on pda, but you never take them for granted whenever she displays any type of affection for you in public.

You both went to go find yourself a table, getting yourself sitted before the waitress came.

"Enough about me, how's basketball?." You asked her.

"Same routine, but everything nice getting ready for march, though." She said as a waitress started making her way towards your table.

"Hi, welcome to didi's diner what get I get for you two?". You heard the waitress say.

"Umm, I'll have your chicken burger combo with a chocolate milkshake." Was what ju ordered

"And you miss".

"I'll have your chicken and beef pizza sandwich with a cold lemonade."You said

"Perfect would you guys like to pay now or later". The waitress had asked you both.

"I'll like to pay now." You told her as you started getting your card out.

"You'll be paying, yea no baby I got that what our total".

"Your total is 105". The waitress said she found you and juju amusing.

"Your always paying for everything I got this one". You said to her.

"Nah I got this". Before juju could do anything you grab both her hands and handed the waitress your own card instead.

"Here you go". You said to the waitress who immediately grab your card before ju could get out.

"I'll be back with your food soon".

"Thank you".

"Bruh why wouldn't you let me pay". She said crossing her arms.

"Because you always pay". You told her

"I pay because I enjoy treating you out". She said lowering her back on the chair.

"Well this one is my treat". You told her as you laid your head on her shoulder.

"This was supposed to be a fun relaxing day for you". She said.

"It's fun and relaxing because being with you is the quality time I need, so don't be sour Judea." You told her.

"Using my government is crazy." She said, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"Girl bye it ain't the end of the world and you do have a pretty name so yea infact might just be calling you that". You told her

"Sure baby." the both of you found yourselves looking at each other anyone could tell y'all got tension and chemistry together as a couple.

Before you both could do anything the waitress was already making her way towards you both.

"Here's your food hope you guys enjoy". She said before leaving you guys.

Anyone around the two of you could tell you both had crazy tension and chemistry, the attraction you both have on each other was something natural and couldn't be replicated.

You found yourself digging in juju fries that came with her meal.

"You got a problem miss Judea". You asked her as you took another one of her fry.

"You just have a pretty face and smell so good that I could eat you instead". She said making you almost choke.

"Ju, we're in public". You said nugging her.

"So?". She asked, not really caring. One thing for certain was that juju doesn't shy away from a lot of things. "Whatever big head".

You guys date continued you feed juju a few bites if your sandwich, chatted more about your goals and what you both want.

And you guys ended your night with a drive back to juju places and getting all cuddled up with her and duce.

[devdozes]

♣ Whatever happened to the Hayloft? (pt.1)

wohooo modern au! anyways uh reader is part of kremnoan national agency and epos is the enemy EDIT: PART TWO IS POSTED!!

The world always had a way of discarding those who had completed their given role, and You learned that lesson the hard way.

You weren’t born in Kremnos, but you had carved a space for yourself in its investigation unit. It wasn’t out of loyalty or duty but because Eurypon had given you something—an offer, that too an undeniable one. You hunted the rot lurking in the shadows, the kind of filth that thrived in places where the law looked away. Because the offer was a mutual win, To absolutely destroy Epos.

Your last mission should have been a victory. You eliminated the threat, wiped out the infection before it could spread further. You expected gratitude, recognition—at the very least, acknowledgment that you had done the right thing.

Instead, you were met with silence. Then, whispers. Then, a sudden decision was handed down as if it were carved in stone: your removal from the unit, the same unit to which Eurypon himself added you in. And then, you were removed by your superiors, and that same decision was approved by that bastard Eurypos himself.

They told you it was protocol, that your methods were reckless, that you had overstepped. But you weren’t stupid. The target you eliminated had been a benefactor, slipping money into the right hands to stay untouchable. The same hands that had signed off on your expulsion.

Disgrace. That’s what they called it. An exile disguised as procedure. You weren’t arrested, weren’t silenced permanently—just thrown out like something inconvenient.

Your badge was taken. Your access revoked. The work you dedicated yourself to, gone in an instant.

No goodbyes. No allies. Just you, standing at the threshold of a city that no longer wanted you.

The mission played over and over in your mind. "Observe the enemy's intentions and eliminate them." That had been your directive. You did exactly that.

You spent weeks following him, watching him slip through the cracks of Kremnos’ justice system, paying his way out of every accusation, every crime. You watched him destroy lives, snuffing out the weak like they were nothing more than pawns in his personal game. And yet, no one ever stopped him. No one ever tried. He wasn’t just another criminal—he was protected. A necessary evil, they called him. Essential to the city’s survival.

You knew better.

The night of the mission still clung to you, vivid in every detail. The air had been thick with rain, your coat heavy with moisture as you pressed into the shadows of the alley. The target had been cornered, his options dwindling with every step you took forward.

"You don’t want to do this," he had said, voice shaking but still laced with arrogance. "You think you’re doing something noble? I keep the wheels turning. Without me, this city crumbles."

You hesitated—not out of doubt, but out of anger. Did he truly believe that? That he was untouchable, that he could buy his way out even now? That the rules didn’t apply to him?

Your grip on your weapon had been steady, your mind clear. "Then let it crumble."

A single shot. A clean execution.

The silence that followed had been deafening. The city continued on, indifferent. No sirens, no rush of justice arriving too late. Just the sound of rain washing away the blood.

You had fulfilled your mission. You had done what you were told.

And yet, they cast you aside like you had betrayed them.

Confusion twisted in your gut, warring with the certainty that you had done the right thing. Hadn’t you? Or had you simply played the role of executioner while the real enemies remained seated in their offices, drinking their fine liquor, counting their bloodstained money?

As the weight of their betrayal settled in, there was no regret.

But the anger remained, burning beneath your skin.

You had done the right thing.

Even if no one else would admit it. They were all money-hungry cowards.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!". You threw a pillow at the screen with a frustrated groan. The TV show had been a mindless distraction, something to drown out the thoughts clawing at the back of your mind, but now it was just fueling your frustration. The female lead—who had spent the entire season developing chemistry with the actually interesting, funny, and devastatingly handsome second lead—had just thrown it all away for the blandest, most insufferably boring male lead imaginable.

"Oh, sure! Pick the emotionally constipated guy with all the personality of an unseasoned mashed potato! That makes so much sense!" You snatched the remote, furiously hitting the rewind button just to glare at the scene again. "This man wrote you poetry, He made you laugh! Meanwhile, your so-called true love hasn’t smiled once in twelve episodes and the ONLY thing he did was to accept you and give you flowers, which is the bare fucking MINIMUM!"

You slumped back against your pillows, glaring at the ceiling. Maybe it was the betrayal, the unfairness of it all—both in the show and in your own life—that made your blood boil. The second lead had done everything right. He had been there, had supported her, had actually put in the effort. Your fingers curled into the blanket, irritation and something heavier twisting in your gut. The familiar weight of injustice, of being discarded despite doing exactly what was asked of you.

"Ridiculous," you muttered, reaching for the half-empty bag of chips beside you and stuffing a handful into your mouth. "I swear, if they make him attend her wedding in the finale, I’m going to go batshit insane."

And then the finale aired.

The second lead sat in the audience, watching with a wistful smile as the female lead exchanged vows with the brick wall of a main character.

You stared at the screen, jaw tightening. The remote was in your hand, the power button just within reach.

Click.

The TV screen went black.

Without hesitation, you tossed the remote onto the couch, grabbed your bike keys, and swung on your jacket. Enough of this nonsense. You needed something to cool your frustration before you did something drastic—like throwing your TV out the window.

"I am not dealing with this bullshit anymore, isn't tv supposed to calm you down? why is increasing my already high blood pressure"

You quickly stomp out the door, put on your shoes, and run down the stairs quickly, and jump on your bike. from rage or excitement idk

The ice cream shop was nearly empty when you arrived, save for the cashier—a familiar silver-haired young man with a bright grin that immediately screamed trouble. Caelus.

"Well, well, well! If it isn’t my favorite brooding customer!" Caelus leaned dramatically over the counter, resting his chin on his hands. "What’ll it be tonight? Let me guess—something bitter, to match the look on your face?" that zesty bitch

Before you could retort, the door swung open violently, and a blur of motion tackled you from behind. "[Name]!" Stelle practically jumped on you, clinging to your shoulders like an overgrown koala. Then, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, she stuck her tongue out at Caelus. "Beat you to them first!"

Caelus gasped in mock horror. "Betrayal! I was just about to offer them a special ‘overdramatic protagonist’ discount!"

You groaned, trying to pry Stelle off. "I just wanted ice cream, not sibling chaos."

"Too late!" Stelle grinned. "We come as a package deal!" Caelus scoffed, dramatically flipping an imaginary cape over his shoulder. "Excuse you, I am the main event. You’re just the annoying sidekick."

"Excuse you," Stelle shot back, finally releasing you only to jab a finger into Caelus’s chest. "I am the superior sibling here. I was born first."

"You both are twins." You say with the most tired expression on your face while rubbing your temples.

"And yet I’m still more mature," Caelus countered clearly ignoring your words, flashing a smug grin.

"You literally tried to eat a rock yesterday!"

"It looked edible!"

"It was glowing blue!"

You sighed, rubbing your temples as they continued bickering like children fighting over the last cookie. "Can I please just order my ice cream before you two kill each other?"

Caelus instantly straightened, clearing his throat and putting on his best ‘professional’ expression—though the effect was ruined by Stelle making faces behind his back.

"Of course! What can I get you, dear customer?" He batted his long-ass eyelashes exaggeratedly, voice dripping with fake sweetness.

Before you could respond, Stelle leaned in. "They’ll have the saddest, most depressing flavor you’ve got. Something that really screams ‘I got kicked out of a corrupt government unit and now I’m having an existential crisis over fictional characters.’"

Caelus nodded solemnly, stroking his chin. "Ah, yes. That’s a classic order. I recommend the ‘Betrayal Blackberry’ or the ‘Melancholy Mint.’"

"Or," Stelle added, grinning, "we could go for full self-pity mode and get the ‘Cold and Alone Cookie Dough.’"

You glared at both of them. "You two are the absolute worst."

"Yeah, yeah, we know," Caelus said cheerfully. "So, which depressing flavor will it be?"

"...Cold and Alone Cookie Dough."

They high-fived.

"You guys suck," you muttered, grabbing your ice cream and biting the waffle cone and ice cream with unnecessary force.

"Oh, don’t be like that," Stelle cooed, flopping into the chair across from you and stealing a bite of your ice cream before you could stop her.

Caelus leaned on the counter, watching with the grin of someone who lived purely to be a menace. "So, tell us—was it a TV show or real life that caused this spiral into frozen dairy despair?"

You debated throwing your ice cream at his face.

As you stepped out of the shop, the cool night air wrapped around you, the taste of cookie dough and vanilla lingering on your tongue. The ridiculous bickering between Stelle and Caelus still echoed behind you, but for once, instead of irritation, it left a small smile on your face.

"Try not to get arrested!" Caelus called after you with a cheeky wave.

"And don’t die!" Stelle added, throwing in a thumbs-up.

"You guys act like I can’t handle myself," you scoffed, waving lazily over your shoulder as you stepped onto the sidewalk.

The moment lasted exactly three seconds before someone slammed into you.

Your grip on the ice cream loosened, the cone slipping from your fingers in slow motion, the pale brown-dotted biege scoop tumbling unceremoniously onto the pavement.

You barely registered the loss of your dessert because the person who bumped into you—a hooded stranger—was already darting away, their head ducked low. A second later, shouts erupted from down the street.

"Hey! Stop that guy!"

"He stole my bag!"

"Someone grab him!"

You blinked, staring after the retreating figure.

Then, slowly, your gaze dropped to the fallen ice cream, the way it lay pitifully on the ground, melting into a sad puddle.

Your eye twitched.

Alright. The theft? Definitely a problem.

But ruining your ice cream? That was just personal.

"HEY, YOU SON OF A—" You took off in a sprint, instincts kicking in before you even thought about it.

The stranger whipped his head around in alarm, realizing that not only was he being chased—but that his pursuer was very, very angry.

"Oh, you better start running!" you yelled, pushing forward with even more speed.

"WAIT—WHAT—WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?!" the thief shouted over his shoulder, dodging past pedestrians.

"YOU RUINED MY ICE CREAM, YOU COWARD!"

That seemed to genuinely throw him off. He stumbled slightly before regaining his pace, muttering something under his breath about lunatics.

Behind you, Stelle and Caelus had stepped outside just in time to witness the scene.

Caelus let out a low whistle. "Aaaand there she goes."

Stelle crossed her arms, grinning. "Do we help?"

Caelus hummed, pretending to think. "...Nah. This seems personal."

You took a sharp turn into the alleyway, cutting off the thief’s path before he could escape into the maze of side streets. He skidded to a stop, looking around frantically like a trapped rat.

"Alright, asshole," you panted, rolling your shoulders as you stepped forward. "You made me drop my ice cream. Now I have to kick your ass on principle."

The thief let out a high-pitched laugh, one that sounded more nervous than anything. "L-Let’s not be hasty now!"

You blinked.

That voice.

That infuriatingly familiar, weaselly voice.

Your eyes narrowed as the thief slowly turned around, hands raised in mock surrender.

Purple hair. Cocky grin. Shady coat.

"Sampo?" you deadpanned.

"Ahahaha... surprise?" Sampo Koski grinned, but the sweat dripping down his forehead told you everything.

You stared at him. Then at the stolen bag slung over his shoulder. Then back at him.

"...You stole someone’s bag?"

"Hey, hey, hey, let’s not use such harsh words!" Sampo waved his hands, stepping back. "I prefer ‘borrowing without permission’—"

Your glare intensified.

He coughed. "Temporarily relocating belongings—"

You cracked your knuckles.

"—IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING, I SWEAR!"

Before he could bolt again, you lunged, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him close. "You owe me ice cream, you rat bastard."

Sampo held up his hands in surrender. "H-How about I get you two? Three! Three ice creams! My treat!"

"You are so lucky I don’t punch you right now," you growled, releasing him with a shove. "Now return the damn bag before I make you eat pavement."

Sampo chuckled nervously. "Right, right—of course! No problem! Consider it already done!"

Just as he said that, the original owner of the bag—an angry looking woman—came sprinting up, flanked by two security officers.

"There he is!" she shouted, pointing directly at Sampo.

He stiffened. "Ah. Well. This is awkward."

You smirked. "Oh no, please go on. I’d love to see how you talk your way out of this one."

Sampo shot you a pleading look before sighing dramatically. "Alright, alright, no need for handcuffs! It’s all a big miscommunication, I assure you!"

As the officers descended on him, you simply stood back, arms crossed, enjoying every second of his downfall.

. . . .

As the security officers reached for Sampo, he shot you one last desperate look—the kind that screamed "Help me, oh great and merciful person whom I may have slightly inconvenienced!"

You rolled your eyes.

"Hey," you called out to the officers, stepping forward. "This dumbass already realized he messed up. No need to rough him up."

The security guards hesitated. The woman, now clearly an elderly lady with sharp eyes, frowned at you.

"Are you vouching for him?" one of the guards asked, skeptical.

"Pfft— No." You snatched the bag from Sampo’s hands before he could protest and turned to the woman. "Here. Safe and sound."

The old lady blinked, surprised. Then, with a warm smile, she took the bag. "Oh, bless your heart, dear!"

Meanwhile, the guards turned their attention to Sampo again.

"Hey, would you look at the time!" Sampo chirped, already inching away. "I must be going—"

You stuck your foot out.

Sampo tripped but recovered quickly, casting you a betrayed look.

You sighed dramatically. "Alright, alright, he’s harmless. Just let him go."

The officers exchanged glances but ultimately relented, grumbling as they backed off. The elderly woman gave you another grateful nod before walking off, leaving you alone with the notorious conman.

Sampo, ever the opportunist, dusted himself off with a wide grin. "Wow! You actually helped me! Didn’t know you cared so much—"

Your fist cracked against his head lightly—a warning tap, really.

"Ow!"

"You owe me ice cream, Koski." You grabbed his collar before he could escape. "And a damn good explanation."

Sampo chuckled nervously. "Ehehe… w-well, you see—"

You dragged him back toward the ice cream shop.

"Talk. Now."

As the bell chimed upon your return, Caelus and Stelle looked up from behind the counter—only to immediately burst into laughter.

Caelus nearly collapsed onto the register, wheezing. "Oh my god."

Stelle clutched her stomach, barely able to breathe. "What— what is that look on your face—?"

Because, standing at the entrance of the shop, you wore the most dangerously peaceful smile imaginable. A smile that promised violence.

And in your grasp, Sampo Koski dangled half-dragged by the collar of his coat, groaning dramatically. "Mercy! Mercy, I say!"

Caelus wiped a tear from his eye. "Did you adopt a stray, [Name]? Or—wait—did the stray adopt you?!"

"Shut up," you said sweetly, before unceremoniously dumping Sampo onto the floor.

"Oof—!" He sprawled out like a ragdoll. "Rude."

You turned to Caelus, still smiling. "Another one of my usual. On him." You jabbed a thumb at Sampo, who gave a weak thumbs-up from the floor.

Stelle snickered. "You got a sugar daddy now?"

"More like a debt-ridden weasel who owes me for ruining my first ice cream." You crossed your arms. "And I will be collecting."

Sampo scrambled up, brushing himself off. "Now, now! Let’s not be hasty—"

Caelus grinned, already scooping your ice cream. "Oh, no. We love hasty."

Stelle smirked. "So, Koski—" She leaned over the counter. "—care to explain what the fuck just happened?"

Sampo let out a nervous chuckle, straightening his coat as he glanced between you, Stelle, and Caelus—all three of you wearing eerily expectant expressions.

"Now, now," he started, raising his hands in a pacifying gesture. "Surely there’s no need for such hostility! Let’s all take a deep breath, relax, and—"

You grabbed a chair and turned it around, sitting on it backward like you were about to interrogate him. "Talk."

Caelus, ever the opportunist, slid a cup of water across the counter like he was in some kind of detective movie. Stelle leaned in closer, grinning.

"Spill."

Sampo sighed dramatically. "Ahh, what a cruel world! A man can’t even do a little bit of freelance item relocation without being hunted down like a criminal—"

"Because you are one?" you deadpanned.

"Details!" He waved you off. "See, my dear friends, it’s all about perspective! To you, I might look like some shady—albeit handsome—fellow running through the streets, but to others, I am simply a humble entrepreneur!"

Caelus snorted. "Humble, my ass."

You tapped your fingers against the chair. "So what, you just happened to rob an old lady in front of a crowd?"

"*Whoa!*Whoa! Let’s not throw around words like ‘rob,’" Sampo said, looking genuinely offended. "She was the one who had something very valuable, and I simply liberated it for a bit! Then I was going to return it—eventually!"

"Eventually my ass," you muttered.

Stelle grinned. "So, what was in the bag, huh? Stacks of cash? A top-secret government file? The legendary lost treasure of—"

Sampo groaned, rubbing his face. "Ugh, it was a bunch of handmade scarves!"

There was silence.

Then Caelus burst out laughing again. Stelle doubled over, wheezing.

You blinked. "Wait, what?"

Sampo slumped over the table. "I thought it was something else!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "You—stole scarves? From an old lady? And got chased down the street for it?"

Sampo threw his arms in the air. "I panicked!"

Caelus wiped a tear from his eye, grinning. "Man, you really are the worst at this."

"I’m usually so good at this!" Sampo groaned, before giving you the most pitiful look possible. "You believe me, don’t you?"

You took your freshly made ice cream from Caelus, making a show of enjoying the first bite. Then, without breaking eye contact, you reached out and grabbed Sampo’s wallet right from his coat.

"Hey—!"

You flipped it open, pulled out enough to cover the ice cream, and slammed the cash onto the counter. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Caelus let out an exaggerated "oohhh!" while Stelle outright clapped.

Sampo sighed, defeated. "You wound me, [Name]. Truly."

You smirked. "Next time, watch where you’re running. Or maybe don’t steal from old ladies."

Sampo pouted. "Lesson learned… probably." that fucking whore

With the sweet taste of victory (and ice cream) on your tongue, you leaned back in your chair, savoring every bite while Sampo sulked dramatically across from you. Stelle was still giggling every now and then, and Caelus had taken it upon himself to reenact Sampo’s very ungraceful escape attempt using napkins and straws.

You took another slow, deliberate spoonful, making a show of enjoying it just to rub salt in Sampo’s wounded pride.

"Mmm. So worth the trouble."

Sampo groaned, slumping over the table. "This is cruel and unusual punishment. Watching someone else enjoy what should’ve been mine."

"You paid for this," you reminded him.

"And yet, somehow, I feel robbed," he sighed.

Stelle grinned. "Now you know how that old lady felt."

Sampo shot her a betrayed look, but before he could get another word in, you set your spoon down, stretching with a satisfied sigh. "Alright, I’m heading home before something else drags me into its nonsense."

"Awww," Stelle whined. "You sure? You could stick around and watch Caelus keep clowning on Sampo."

Caelus, who had been dramatically dropping a napkin “thief” off a table ledge, grinned. "I’ve got at least ten more skits in me."

Sampo groaned louder. "You’re all terrible people."

You laughed, standing up. "I’m sure you’ll survive, Sampo. Or not. Either way, not my problem."

With a final wave to the chaotic duo, you exited the shop, stepping into the cool night air. Your bike was parked nearby, and you swung a leg over it with ease, the quiet hum of the streets a welcome change from all the chaos.

For the first time in a while, a genuine smile settled on your face.

As you settled onto your bike, ready to head home, a flicker of movement in your peripheral vision caught your attention.

A hooded figure stood near the alley across the street, leaning casually against the wall as if waiting for something—or someone. The dim glow of a nearby streetlamp barely illuminated his features, but for a split second, you caught a glimpse of something familiar.

Ash-blonde hair with red tips.

Your grip on the handlebars tightened slightly. A strange sense of recognition stirred in your chest, but you pushed it down. You were tired—you’d had enough surprises for one night.

With a shake of your head, you dismissed the thought. Probably just some random guy. Not your business.

You revved your bike, the engine’s low hum filling the silence. The hooded figure didn’t move, didn’t react.

And so, you turned your attention back to the road and rode off into the night, leaving the stranger—and whatever trouble he might bring behind because you had enough for one fucking night

. . . . .

The ride home was uneventful, the cool night air doing little to wash away the lingering irritation from earlier. You parked your bike, stretched out your sore limbs, and stepped inside. The dim glow of your apartment welcomed you, quiet and still—just the way you liked it.

You tossed your jacket onto the couch, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and were about to collapse onto your bed when your phone buzzed.

Unknown Caller.

You stared at the screen, debating whether to pick up. Something about it felt… off.

Against your better judgment, you answered.

A familiar voice crackled through the speaker. "…[Name]?"

You froze.

Aglaea.

It had been months since you last heard her voice. Since she let you walk away without a word. Since she didn’t defend you when you needed her most.

Your grip on the phone tightened. "What do you want?"

There was a pause. A hesitation. Then—

"Eurypon is dead."

The words settled over you like a thick fog. Cold. Heavy.

You blinked once. Then twice.

Dead?

Eurypon—the same bastard who removed you from the unit, who framed you as reckless, who ensured you’d never work in the investigation unit again—was dead?

You weren’t sure how to feel. Shocked? Maybe. But there was no grief. No sadness. Just an empty sort of understanding.

People like Eurypon made enemies. It was only a matter of time.

You exhaled, voice steady, emotionless. "I'm not in the investigation unit anymore, Aglaea. Don’t contact me."

A beat of silence. Then, Aglaea’s voice softened. "I know," she murmured. "I just thought… you should hear it from me. Not the news. Not anyone else."

You didn’t respond.

Another pause. Then, quieter—almost hesitant—she added, "Save my number, [Name]. Even if you don’t want to talk to me. Just… save it."

You sighed, fingers hovering over the screen.

Then, without another word, you declined the call.

But you did save her number.

. . . .

You groaned, throwing yourself onto the couch before grabbing the remote and flicking on the TV. After the chaotic mess of the night, all you wanted was some mindless background noise.

Flipping through the channels, you paused at the news. Maybe they had an update on something actually interesting.

"Breaking News: Former Investigation Unit Director, Eurypon, Found Dead."

Your brows raised slightly. So it was real.

The reporter droned on about the details—Eurypon’s body found in a private residence, a single bullet wound to the head, no signs of forced entry. But what really caught your attention was the next segment.

A figure appeared on the screen, standing at a podium in a sharply pressed uniform, flanked by two other high-ranking officials. His face was one you recognized instantly.

Ash-blonde hair with red tips, slightly messy yet unmistakable. Cold golden eyes staring through the camera with that same unyielding intensity.

Mydei.

Your former teammate.

No. More than that.

Eurypon’s son.

Your lips curled into something between amusement and curiosity. So he was the one stepping into his father’s shoes now?

Then, before you could process anything further—

BZZZT.

Your phone vibrated against your stomach. Another unknown number.

You groaned, throwing a pillow across the room in frustration. "Are you kidding me?"

Swiping the call open, you pressed the phone to your ear. "Whoever this is, I swear—"

"[Name]."

You blinked.

That voice. Low. Steady. Unshaken.

You glanced at the TV again, and there he was—Mydei, standing there like he owned the damn world.

Slowly, you sat up, adjusting your grip on the phone. "You killed Eurypon, didn’t you?"

There was a beat of silence.

Then, calmly, Mydei responded, "Yes."

No hesitation. No guilt. No unnecessary justifications. Just a simple, undeniable confirmation.

You exhaled a quiet chuckle, shaking your head. "Well. Can’t say I’m surprised."

Eurypon was a bastard. A snake who sold out his own people for power. You weren’t about to shed any tears over him.

"That’s not why I’m calling." Mydei’s voice was clipped, professional. "We need you back in the investigation unit. There’s a mission that requires your expertise."

Your amusement faded.

And then you laughed.

Loud. Sharp. Unbelieving.

"You think I’d ever go back to that corrupt mess?" you asked, a grin stretching across your face. "You’re funny, Mydei. I don’t do favors for free, and I especially don’t work with the people who threw me out like trash."

There was silence on the other end.

Then, a sigh.

"I expected you to say that," Mydei admitted, his voice still composed. "But it was worth a try."

"You seriously thought I’d agree?"

"I thought you might consider it."

You scoffed, shaking your head. "Hard pass."

Another pause. Then, softer than before—barely noticeable—he said, "…I see."

You almost laughed again. Even now, he was as restrained as ever.

"Tell you what," you said, stretching lazily against the couch. "How about next time you call, you don’t ask me to clean up the investigation unit’s mess? Try something fun for once."

A quiet breath from the other end, like he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

Then, his voice returned to that same controlled, unreadable tone.

"Just wait till 25th April."

And with that, the call ended.

You exhaled, tossing your phone onto the couch beside you.

So Mydei was pulling the strings now.

And he had no qualms about getting blood on his hands.

You weren’t sure if that was better or worse.

April 25th

Your phone buzzed.

You barely spared it a glance, still sprawled out on your couch, half-asleep from last night’s late ride. The screen flashed with an unknown number again.

A groggy sigh left your lips as you grabbed it. "This better not be another waste of my time."

"[Name]."

You sat up instantly.

That voice—steady, composed, unmistakably Mydei.

"You're calling me again?" you said, rubbing your eyes. "What, another mission offer? I already—"

"Check the news."

You blinked.

Something in his tone made you pause. He sounded… amused? Smug, even.

Your brows furrowed as you reached for the remote. The news channel flickered to life on your TV, and within seconds, you were wide awake.

"Investigation Unit Officials Exposed in Widespread Corruption Scandal—Mass Firings Underway."

Your breath hitched.

The screen displayed a list of names, each one making your pulse quicken.

People you used to work with. The same bastards who threw you under the bus. Who framed you, lied, and made sure you'd never step foot in the unit again.

Now? They were gone.

Some were getting arrested. Others were being dragged out of their offices, their faces pale as reporters bombarded them with questions. Their crimes—bribery, evidence tampering, illegal dealings—were being laid out in broad daylight for everyone to see.

You sat there, stunned.

And then, from the phone pressed against your ear—

A quiet chuckle.

"So?" Mydei drawled, clearly enjoying this moment. "What do you think?"

You let out a slow breath, still processing everything.

"You… really went and did it, huh?"

"You sound surprised."

"That’s because I am." You shook your head, watching as another corrupt official was led out in handcuffs. "I knew you were stepping in, but I didn’t think you’d actually clean house."

A hum from the other end of the line. "I said I would handle it."

Your lips twitched. "Didn’t think you’d be this thorough."

There was a pause, then, with that same unwavering authority, Mydei spoke again.

"Come to the Investigation Unit tomorrow at 7 AM. ASAP."

You stiffened. "Wait—what?"

"You’ll be leading the next mission," he continued, completely ignoring your reaction. "Highest-ranking officer. No one above you. No one to control you. You do things your way this time."

Your heart skipped a beat.

"You’re serious?"

"Have I ever wasted my time with jokes?"

He had a point.

Before you could respond, the line cut off.

You lowered the phone slowly, still staring at the news, but your focus had already shifted.

Tomorrow at 7 AM.

You were back in the unit.

And this time, you were the one in charge.

A quiet chuckle slipped past your lips.

It felt good.

HI GUYS ITS ANTOHER SERIESS and ts tension wohoo!! @leonsnewadventures

PART 2!!

[workingonasongbird]

I'm in mixed minds about this because on the one hand, SOTR does give what we know about Annie's Games the potential to be another rebellion attempt, but on the other hand, some of the information doesn't really add up.

The key things we supposedly know about Annie's Games are that the dam broke after an earthquake, flooding the arena and allowing Annie to survive as the strongest swimmer, and that Annie had some kind of complete mental breakdown after watching her district partner be beheaded.

If Annie's Games had happened a longer time ago so that Katniss and Peeta would have had to rely on the edited recap tapes to know what happened, I would be more inclined to believe that the 70th Hunger Games might have been more than what the trilogy suggest them to be. But as the 70th Hunger Games were quite recent and clearly not very popular as Annie kind of faded into the background, the information we do have on them is more likely to be what Katniss and Peeta remember from watching the Games streamed live.

Peeta is the one to give us all the information on Annie's Games in Catching Fire. At the time, Katniss was preoccupied with trying to feed her family after the death of her father. But Peeta was likely paying quite a bit of attention that year because the 70th Hunger Games was the year Katniss and Peeta turned 12 and became eligible for the reaping for the first time themselves. Even if Peeta wasn't in the Games that year himself, we know from his note taking in Catching Fire, his interviews, and the way he acted in the 74th Games that Peeta really pays attention. He knows how to play the Games and how to play them well, so I wouldn't be surprised if he spent a lot of time studying them from a young age.

(This turned out to be a longer post than I expected. A lot more under the cut. SOTR spoilers included.)

But let's say for argument's sake that Peeta didn't remember the details of the 70th Hunger Games. Finnick definitely would, and do you not think that if the love of Finnick's life had previously been involved in a rebel plot he might have mentioned it at some point? It makes sense he would keep quiet in Catching Fire, but in Mockingjay when the Capitol aren't watching and all he can think about is Annie, Annie, Annie, I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't mention it.

Then there's what we are actually told about Annie herself in terms of the rebellion:

“Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she’ll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it,” says Finnick.

“Well, they didn’t arrest her because they thought she’d be a wealth of rebel information,” he says. “They know I’d never have risked telling her anything like that. For her own protection.”

These quotes don't exactly scream that Annie herself was ever an active rebel before widespread uprisings broke out in Panem. If she was, Finnick would know about it, especially because she relies on him to help her differentiate between falsehoods and reality. If she was involved in a rebel plot in her arena and Finnick didn't know about it... that's a massive and potentially dangerous thing that she could easily get very confused about.

It's possible that if there was a rebel plot in the 70th Hunger Games, Annie wasn't the chosen tribute to carry it out, but I do think that is unlikely. Mags - a known rebel - was probably her mentor, so Annie would be an easier tribute to communicate plans with, and getting a tribute from another district to blow up a dam and cause a flood is going to take a lot of persuading because tributes from the other districts generally can't swim. Blowing up that dam on purpose for anyone not from 4 is effectively suicide, and I don't think every tribute is willing to be as self sacrificing as Haymitch and his allies in SOTR.

Which brings me on to the flaws in the dam being part of a rebel plot itself. Blowing something up in attempt to cause a flood is a tried, tested, and failed rebel idea that the Capitol are aware of. Even if the greater public aren't aware of what Haymitch did, Snow and the Gamemakers definitely are, and a lot more precautions would have been put in place over the years to make the arenas impossible to tamper with from the inside. Another flood seems like something the Capitol might catch on to pretty quickly, and if Annie started to act like she even had the idea to tamper with the arena, I think the Gamemakers might have taken her out pretty quickly.

The idea that the dam breaking has to because of some kind of rebel plot or outsider influence (like the theory that Finnick slept with a Gamemaker to convince them to break the dam to try to bring Annie home) is an interesting one, but it doesn't have to be the case. Gamemakers do make mistakes. We're told about whole arenas that were either flat out boring or great in theory and then poorly executed (like Wiress's Games). The earthquake breaking the dam could have been a miscalculation on the Gamemaker's part. Or it could have been intentional as a way to wrap up a Games that might have been going on too long.

As for Annie's mental illness: she witnessed a beheading. That's a super traumatic thing to go through, to which experiencing a psychotic break and long lasting severe mental illness as a result is a very realistic response. Not everything needs to be super significant to the rebellion effort for it to affect someone severely. Sometimes people are mentally ill because they are mentally ill rather than because the plot demands it, and that's okay.

"Oh, but Haymitch saw Wellie's decapitated body and he wasn't super traumatised by it!" shush. Haymitch is hardly a paragon of mental stability, and different traumas affect everyone differently.

I've seen some arguments that the recap of Annie's Games might have been edited to make her look like she was hiding for most of her Games to cover up that she was actually defying the Capitol (especially because that does make for a pretty dull recap, and the Capitol usually avoid dull Games at all costs). And while that is definitely possible, victors have won just by hiding before. (Exhibit A: Wiress).

But despite the slightly lengthy argument I've just made, Annie potentially being a rebel IS an interesting idea, and one that I will continue to think over until the day I die.

we know Lenore Dove didn't die of appendicitis, and Mags didn't have a stroke. Gale isn't Katniss's cousin, and Haymitch's house fire wasn't an accident.

so.

did Annie Cresta ACTUALLY "go crazy after she saw her district partner beheaded"? or was there something more? Suzanne get ur pen back out NOW

[happysparklingshadows]

A Certain Hunger (7/?)

Chapter 6 ✿ Chapter 8

Summary: A heartbroken reader is trying to piece her heart back together as best as she can with all the resources she has available. The reader tries to be a good friend as she tries to find meaning in dreams and maybe helps with an abortion. The adult reader is trying to connect with her own ghosts as she tries to get through another brunch.

Pairing: Surviving!Poly! Yellowjackets x reader (slow burn)

Warnings: There is talk of abortion (spoiler: it doesn't happen), another trippy dream sequence, sexual tension, ghost Jackie, heartbroken Reader, Adult Reader lore dropping this chapter, and making Natalie jealous with Lottie is becoming a thing, lol.

Word count: 15.7k

Notes: I hope you guys will forgive me for posting this morning instead of last night. I completely crashed after I got home. This needs another edit, but I hope you enjoy it! Also, please tell me what you think about the outfits at the end of the chapter! We did another Poll to see what will happen after everything with Natalie and this was the outcome!

❀ A03 ❀ wattpad ❀ spotify playlist  ❀

‘96

You groan in frustration at the small nut in your hand, which is rotten and has a small hole made from an animal. You throw the chestnut onto the forest floor with a sigh. “It’ll just make us more constipated,” you think as you focus on whatever small nuts could still be on the ground. You didn’t have much hope to forage like everyone else, as things have been getting harder lately. No luck with the hunter, and the fishing season was leaving as September started. You sigh again as you roll your eyes. 

“Seriously? How the fuck are there no berry.” Mari grumbles as she stands up from a bush. She pulls her leg up and kicks the branches.

 “The birds could be picking them off? Or-or mice?” Akilah tries to reason as she rests her hand to cover her eyes. Everyone was feeling the frustration of hunger. 

You sigh softly and say, “We’re not the only animals out here looking for food.” 

“I’d eat the crap out of a mouse right now,” Van confesses as she sits on a rock for rest. 

“Ew.” “Gross.” 

“You know, some animals live off eating their own vomit.” Lottie adds, trying to get the attention away from her best friend. 

“Okay. Thanks for the image, Lot.” Van sighs back to Lottie, a whisper of a smirk on her lips in humor. 

“Did dead cabin guy tell you that, or do you guys just chat about blood and stuff?” Mari snickered to Lottie as she looked over to the crouching girl. 

“No, we mostly talk about how Danny Mears dumped you for his own cousin,” Lottie said with a mocking smile, sending it to Mari as she stood up and walked away. 

You couldn’t help the chuckle that left your lips. Your eyes followed Lottie as she walked away toward the fork in the trail, leading towards the field area and the thicker parts of the woods. Mari looked at you and then back to Akilah and Van: “Hey! They’re second cousins. And that’s totally legal, you know.” 

You look at Mari with a snicker growing wider on your lips as you say to her in your kind voice, “Stand up, girl. You don’t have to defend your cousin's fucking ex. Danny Mears is fucking weirdo.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle as you followed Lottie onto the path, ignoring Mari, who was trying to defend herself again. You felt Van behind you as you approached Lottie, who quickly turned around in fear. Van said before you could speak, “Hey, look, ignore Mari, okay? I don’t think she has taken a shit in, like, two weeks.”  

You pause as Van speaks to look over Lottie’s face. She had seen something. You felt it in the way her eyes looked burdened. 

“Yeah.” Lottie breathlessly replies. 

“Are you okay?” Van asks Lottie quickly as she looks her over as you did a moment ago. Seeing the same thing you did in Lottie. Lottie looks behind herself for a second, and both of your eyes follow hers to see only empty bushes and leaves. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Lottie replies again with a soft smile on her lips. “It’s- it’s fine.” 

Van nods her head softly and looks her over a little. “Okay.” 

Van accepts what Lottie says to her and returns to the others foraging, but you stay planted in your spot. 

You didn’t want to sound crazy, but you couldn’t help but feel the need to say. “It’s okay, you know. I’ve seen and heard crazy stuff out here, too, since we’ve been here. I don’t think you’re crazy.” 

Lottie looks at you with wide eyes for a moment, then looks behind herself again, and says, “I am crazy. I-I don’t understand what I am seeing. These are wrong.” 

You paused as you took in her words, trying to find the right thing to say: “I don’t think you're completely crazy, then. Like the seance thing, I know you can’t speak French. I’ve seen things on my own out here.” 

Lottie’s eyes soften as she slowly lowers her eyes to the ground in a mix of confusion and fear. “Like, what did I even say? I’m not good at French, I don’t even-”

“You spoke it like you lived in Quebec, Lottie. It was scary.” You admit to her without needing to think. You didn’t want to tell her what she said as you didn’t want to think about what she said that night. “That’s why I don’t think you made it up like the others.” 

Lottie looks back up to you quickly as she studies your face. She shakes her head softly and says, “I didn’t fake it. I don’t even remember anything after the fake boob question.” 

You nod and touch her arm for reassurance. “I know. I don’t know if ghosts or spirits exist, but after that, I don’t know if I can say that anymore.” 

“What did you see?” She asks, almost desperate for someone to reassure her and tell her she wasn’t the only one seeing what she saw that night. 

“Well, what I saw wasn’t during the seance.” You spieled off as you looked back at the others, ensuring they were out of earshot. You said, “I saw it that day; I was gone all day. It-It just wasn’t right.” 

Lottie looks at you with an intensity you can’t place. She asks, “What was it?”

“It was this weird-looking tree. It was familiar, but I knew we didn’t have one like that on the trail. It looked like a woman peeking out at me because it curved and stuff.” You try to explain, but you can’t find the right words to convey the horror you felt that day. “I kept walking on the trail, and when I got to the plane, it was like I couldn’t go past it. I felt like I was walking for hours in circles, always coming back to the nose of the plane even though I had passed it moments before. I don’t know if I was asleep, dreaming this all, or something was turning me around for a reason…” You confess to Lottie, who stares at you with wide, concerned eyes, and you let your gaze drop to the ground in embarrassment. You shouldn’t have said anything. “Sorry, I must sound crazy right now.” 

Lottie looks at you deeply and is almost lost in your words, looking at the wrinkle in your eyebrow that has formed since the crash. “I don’t think you're crazy. (Y/n), I don’t think you were just seeing things.” 

“Well, I have to be because there is no such thing as a tree woman.” 

“No, but dreams are said to have meaning to them. My mom always told me that my daydreams were so intense because of my imagination and anxiety.” Lottie explains, her voice growing more passionate as if she is finding a solution to her problems. “But I don’t think it was my imagination. I think it was a vision.” 

You paused in your listening to her for a moment to feel the weight of her words because, for the first time in a while, you believed Lottie’s words weren’t out of mental illness but out of her own perspective truth. You couldn’t help but take in her words as a smile comes to your lips. “Like a psychic medium?” you ask her as you lean toward her with a chuckle. “I would believe it. You always know something before something comes out. Like Rebecca Glassmen.” 

She chuckles as you remind her of the old gossip about Rebecca being pregnant. Lottie says she was faking it to get her boyfriend to stay with her. It turns out to be true after they break up, and her ex-boyfriend tells the whole school how much of a psycho she is. Lottie clocked it as soon as it was whispered at the Lunch table. 

“Yeah, but it’s more than that. When I was 6, my parents took me to the World Trade Center to see where my dad works, and we had a day out in the city. But, on our way back home, we were at this red light, and my parents were talking about something on the radio. I felt this rush through my body. I saw meat and glass and blood everywhere on my mom’s face and my dad’s; I screamed.” Lottie paused as she continued, her eyes glossed over momentarily, and she didn’t seem to notice. You did. “They both looked at me, telling me to shut up, but when I was screaming, the light went green. The car next to us went ahead just as a semi-truck had brakes snap; it was a horrible crash. My mom is convinced I can see things because her mother, I guess, did the same thing. But, um, yeah, the driver of the car survived, but the passenger passed away in the crash, and it’s something not even my dad can explain. My dad doesn’t believe in any of this shit, so he has me go to therapy and take pills to stop them. I wish I had them again.” She says this almost breathlessly, as if she is lost in the present moment but completely focused on your conversation. 

You don’t know if you fully believe in all the psychic talk, but it was interesting. You weren’t completely closed off to the idea of the spiritual realm, but after what happened in the attic, you believe there are things you can’t explain. You tell her, “Well, I don’t think I ever disbelieved in the supernatural. My grandparents' house was scary, and I am sure I had seen something before when I was young. I think you did see something before that car crash, Lottie,” You say to her with a soft nod. She beams underneath this almost gloss in her eyes, and you pause as you carefully place your words together.

“I think that not everything you see has a meaning, but something does have meaning because we place it on them. The cross means nothing to Taissa, but to Laura Lee, it means everything because it means something deeply to her. I do think that sometimes we need to place judgment on them and see if they do connect. I think that maybe what happened to me meant that something within can’t get past the plane crash, like I can’t even get in feet of that thing without having a panic attack, and maybe I can’t move on from it. Like, I’m mentally stuck on the plane. I know that sounds crazy, with us being stuck here, but something within my soul is more disturbed by the crash.”

Lottie nods her head and smiles. Her hand comes to her upper arm as she steps closer to you. You two stand so close together that it makes your heart skip a beat and halt your breath. “I think we should meet in the morning to discuss our dreams. I feel better talking to you. How do you feel?” 

You wouldn’t help as your eyes scanned over her face. You felt her breath on your skin, breath lodged in your throat, and you felt yourself stunted for a moment. You took a moment to get lost in her brown eyes and tan skin. She was so beautiful. You remember how it felt to kiss her, but you couldn’t let yourself feel that way for her. Both of you placed a boundary around your friend to protect it, but at this moment, it felt like both of you were going to risk ruining it.

Lottie just waits for your answer with her eyes looking down at you like you were prey. You felt the electricity in the air between you two as you finally found your words. 

“I feel good. We should.” You breathlessly say to her as you step back against the tree. A cavil memory comes to your mind of when you were pushed against a tree by Natalie. You didn’t want to remember that day. You didn’t want to believe that she didn’t want anything to do with you after everything. But you couldn’t help but lean onto whatever feeling this was as you locked eyes with Lottie. It was something thickening the air around you quickly. You almost felt yourself pull forward to Lottie’s lips by some pressure in the back of your head. 

Lottie’s lips started to move before she could speak, and a snap of a branch ripped the two of you from the moment. Lottie snaps her head behind herself, and you peek over her shoulder to see bottle blonde streaks of hair. 

You felt a red-hot embarrassment come through your body. 

“Hey, uh, I wanted to tell you everyone left- I was just passing through,” Natalie says quickly to Lottie as she looks at her and back to you. You locked your eyes to the ground as a sour pout came to your lips. You couldn’t help but want to cry. 

“Oh- Okay, Nat, me and (y/n) were just talking,” Lottie says with an almost nervous friendliness. 

“Oh, okay,” Natalie says slowly, with a rasp, as she looks at the two of you. Almost a darkness comes over Natalie’s Aura as she looks at the two of you. 

You wanted to sprint away from both of them and cry. You say quickly, “So, anyways, Lottie, let’s do a morning dream circle or something. I’d like that,” as you move yourself off the tree and back to the trail. Your neck clicks as you rush out of your situation. “I’ll talk to you guys later.” 

You literally felt your heart start to pound painfully against your chest as you stormed out of the clearing. You wanted to scream.

Why did Natalie look at you like that? 

Why did Lottie?

What fucking right does Natalie have looking at you like that with Lottie? All you did was talk. All you did was look.  Fuck her. Fuck Travis. Fuck them. Fuck you, Natalie Scatorccio.

You bite your lip in frustration as you look down at the water, praying that something will finally take a bite of food. The river bank was still and smelled of hot milkweed peeking out of the water; the wilderness singing all around you didn’t stop the inner turmoil burning your insides. You couldn’t help but let your mind dwell on Natalie and Travis as they normally did when you were alone. 

What were they doing? Hunting? Kissing? Fucking?

You couldn’t stop the spiral of cruel thoughts. It makes you want to vomit sometimes. It made you resurface every insecurity within yourself and blossom under the burning sun of jealousy and bitterness. She loves a boy, and you're not a boy. It’s that simple. 

You were only for fucking. And Travis was for love and companionship. 

You were just a passing pleasure. 

A simple masturbatory lay. 

She knew you liked her. She knew you were a virgin. She had to know how you felt and knew you would give anything to her if she acted like she liked you the same. She knew you were desperate for a companion. For someone to love you and for you to love them. 

“Natalie sees me the same way she sees Misty.” You miserably thought as you tried not to let the tears form in your eyes. 

Her not talking to you has been getting to you. She would be dismissive towards you, didn’t even look you in the eyes at your morning announcements anymore, and giggled at Travis while you tried to get through your words.

 You couldn’t help but feel little pieces of glass stab into your flesh every time she stole a glance back at him in your presence. Jealousy has been evergreen within your veins since you lost your virginity. 

You knew you shouldn’t be worried about this. Shauna is pregnant, we’re losing food every day, and you miss your family. But Natalie greedily stole all the space in your mind. 

“Hey, you okay?” Van asks from the brush behind you. You didn’t notice her walking towards you with a laundry basket. She only saw your back quivering as you were trying to fish. 

You glanced behind your shoulder at her as you felt your lip quiver. You were going to cry. You try to calm your voice as you squeak, “I’m okay!” 

All efforts to stop her from coming closer were dead in the water as she put down the basket and came to sit beside you. Van quietly looks over at you in concern as she tries to piece together your pain. She gently asks, “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

You felt your lip shake as a tear rolled down your cheek. You tried to steel your face, saying, “I don’t know if I should.” 

Van jooks at you and scans down to your hands holding the old fishing pole. They shook slightly. The pressure of her kind eyes allowed you to vomit out your feelings. 

“I don’t think I am lovable.” You sob out as your face twists into an ugly cry of despair. Your body shakes as you let out your dark thoughts, “I did something stupid, Van, and now I am just feeling so alone because I can’t tell anyone!” 

Van is shocked at your outburst but comforts you with her hands on your shoulders. Your body violently shakes, and you feel sadness come over you. “Hey! Hey! What happened, (y/n)? You can tell me!” 

“I don’t think I can!” You sobbed as you felt as if your eyes wouldn’t stop rivering down your cheeks. You said, “I could be outting someone.” 

Van’s eyes widen for a second, but she quickly says as she grabs your shoulder firmly, “I don’t fucking care, why are you crying?! What happened?” 

You cry as Van’s hands lead you down to their chest, and you feel yourself curl into her arms, crumbling under the comfort. You cry harder as you say into her chest, “I had sex with Natalie.” 

“What?!” Van says, shocked, but as softly as she can manage not to upset you. 

“Me and Natalie, two weeks ago, had sex in the woods when we were alone. She fingered me, and when I tried to reciprocate, she just pushed me away and told me it was all a mistake. She likes Travis-” 

“She told you that just after she fingered you?!”

“Yes! She did. She just told me it was all a mistake. She likes Travis. I knew that when I was doing it.” You sobbed as you pulled away from your embrace with Van. You held a palm to your quivering lips. The weight of your emotions cut out your words. “I don’t know why I did it. I-I knew I wasn’t who she wanted.”

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). I’m so fucking sorry.” Van says as she pets the back of your head. She just watches you as you are crying. She is trying her best to calm you down from your helpless sadness. “Tai and I talked about how Natalie was giving you the cold shoulder, and we didn’t know why. Tai asked Natalie what was up, and Natalie said nothing was up and that the two of them were fine. I never would have thought-”

You sniffle as you shake your head, and your eyes close in pain. You didn’t mean anything to her. 

“I meant nothing to her.” You quietly say as you look away from Van. Looking at her in the eyes would be too vulnerable for you. “I don’t even get a good lie. I just get we’re fine.” You darkly chuckle at the realization. You felt a twist in your core and changed the emotion consuming you. A giggle formed in your throat as you joked, “At least I know it’s not because I’m fat. It’s because I'm gay.” 

“What?” Van asks, bewildered but amused at the mood swings. You turn your head to face her again.

“I know it’s not because I’m fat. I was always worried someone wouldn’t want me because I was too fat.” You laugh as you wipe your nose with your sleeve, cleaning the drips of snot. “It’s because I’m a dyke, and she’s straight!” 

Van chuckles softly at your words, but your laughing amuses her. She rubs your back as your laughs slowly morph into cries again. Your hand comes over your face to hide it. You felt much more sadness than Natalie rejecting you, but you couldn’t help but focus only on this nasty feeling.

“I don’t know. I’m hurt because I don’t think Natalie is my friend anymore.” You wept into your hand, feeling yourself shake as you finally released the words into the air. “S-she wants nothing to do with me!” 

Van pulls you into another hug as she rubs your arm. She brings you so close you are almost in her lap as she says, “Fuck that. Nat used you and acted like it was your fault. If she doesn’t want to be your friend, then that is on her and not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

You paused as you let Van comfort you in this moment. You looked at her and asked, “I don’t understand. I don’t get why she wants nothing to do with me now.” 

“Because she knows she fucked up. Fuck her. I don’t want to leave you now. I’m so sorry. Seriously, I am going to sit here with you all day.” 

You try to pull away from her hold, but she keeps you in her grip. “You don’t have to.” 

“No, I will.” Van says with a stern lip, “I’m not going to leave you today. You don’t deserve that shit from that fucking burnout. It’s wild.” 

You let yourself breathe and calm down as you nudge Van with your shoulder, a smile softly coming to your tear-stained face. You didn’t have any fight in your body anymore. “Okay. Is it okay if we just sit here and look at the water for a while? I can teach you to fish.” 

Van nods and softly smiles, “Yeah-yeah, whatever you want.”

‘21 

You rub your ring finger with your thumb as you nurse your cigarette. You sat relaxed on the small kitchen table of Natalie’s hotel room as you looked out the window to the parking lot, waiting for Shauna to finally show up. 

You knew she was going to be mad at you. She doesn’t even know you’re still in contact with the others. You didn’t know that she kept their numbers. You and her always had some secrets from each other, but Shauna was one to hold a grudge. You normally forgive her misgivings without thought, but she will hound you for weeks about even the smallest withholding of information. 

You felt the chair beside you move as someone pulled it out to sit next to you. You slowly glanced at the woman next to you and looked back out the window. 

“What have you been up to? I heard about that, uh, ‘Blood Oath’?” Taissa asks as she looks over you with a softness in her eyes. 

You softly smile at the words and shake your head as you ash the fresh cigarette. “Yeah, you hear about it.”

“I mean there isn’t a lot of lesbian media out there.” 

You look over at Taissa and say, “Yeah, I’ve written a few lesbian romance troilys. I have Blood Oath and Mushroom Circle about a fairy, and I am currently writing Three Wishes about a jinn. I am finally using my history minor and going on a press circuit. I have a whole panel to go to in a few days.” 

“How has that worked out for you?” Taissa says as she pulls out a cigarette from your box. Something was comfortable with the women you were with, but you didn’t know how you felt about Taissa coming closer. 

“It’s worked out good. I got my dream job, and it keeps the lights on. I think I might be taking a break after this.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m getting old. I’m losing steam over romance altogether. I’m thinking about finally dipping into sci-fi.” 

“I mean, it’s about time. How many times have you read Dune?” She jokes softly as she lights her cigarette. You look at the woman, let your eyes study her, and take her all in. You don’t feel anything negative when she mentions the book you brought to the wilderness. You read it repeatedly, let the others burrow the behemoth, and still found yourself reading it when you were deathly bored. It had something new every time you read. You remember the second spring and summer out there, conversing about the book in an almost book club. It felt light and nostalgic. It was odd, but you didn’t let yourself stop.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same. It could be me correcting all the male centric bullshit.” 

“Make it lesbain somehow?” Taissa jokes with a snicker, her nose crinkled playfully, as she puffs from the cigarette. 

You roll your head back with a cackle. “You better know it.” 

You notice Natalie pacing by the bathroom, but you ignore it. Your attention was off of Taissa, which felt very familiar. These women with you in a closed-in space were something your body seemed to remember as your heart beat faster in your chest. You noticed your fingers didn’t stop rubbing on the other. It was a tick you’ve grown to have over the years, and you looked down on it. 

Taissa looks at your hand, then stares down at your ring finger. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck raised as you realised this is the first time she has seen you without your old engagement ring. 

“If you're going to ask about it, just go for it.” You sigh as you ash your cigarette in a vodka bottle cap. 

“Um,” Taissa looks almost longingly at the table and back at you and asks, “How are you and Van?”

You take a long drag on your cigarette. “We didn’t end up getting married. Van’s mom got sick, and my dad got dementia, and we- yeah.” You sigh. And you felt something sharp come over you as your eyes slice to Taissa’s, and you ask, “How’s Simone?” 

Knock! Knock! 

 A polite knock against the hotel door saves you from hearing more from Taissa. You didn’t want to get any closer to Taissa. She scared you and was a coward when you needed her most. You were too grown to be getting closer to her again and having another toxic cycle begin. Luckily, you have learned how to shoo away politely as possible while letting someone know you weren’t happy with them. Natalie rushed to the door but paused as she held the door handle and slowly opened it to look at Shauna for the first time in almost a decade. 

You stood up as you looked out the window to see Shauna awkwardly standing in front of the door, looking behind herself, paranoid. You took your last puff to ready yourself for whatever was to come. 

Natalie opens the door wider for Shauna to come in. Tension is thick in the air as the two women lock eyes. You look on at them and smile at Shauna as Natalie paces to the other side of the room and towards the bed. 

Shauna looks at you sharply as if to tell you to stand near her, and you find yourself coming closer. With the tension in the air, you can tell there was something more than terror and memories; it was jealousy. 

“You look like shit.” Natalie chuckles, sarcastically,  as she looks on at Shauna.

“Uh, well, back at you.” Shauna retorts with a pinched smile. 

“How’s Jeff?” Natalie whispered in a hiss to Shauna. It was goading and mocking. You knew what she was mentioning, and you couldn’t help yourself as you grabbed Shauna’s forearm gently. “Is he still hocking futons?” 

“Okay, no, no!” Taissa says as she leans against the counters with her cigarette in hand. “We’re not doing this, okay? Not after all the shit we’ve gone through. Now, we’re in a situation here. We’re gonna deal with it.” She paused as she looked at Natalie, then back to Shauna, and then back again to let the air settle. “Together.” 

You rub Shauna’s arm, comforting her, saying, “It’s bigger than our feelings right now.” 

“Okay, fine. What’s- what’s going on?” Shauna asked, exacerbated. 

Natalie walks gently to the table where Travis's crime scene photos are. You still can’t make yourself look at them without feeling a rumbling of fear inside you, still marked with the symbol. Shauna looks over and leans forward to look closer, her eyebrow crinkled with caution. “Is that Travis?” 

Natalie's eyes looked haunted for a moment, water lining them. You wanted to cry when you felt yourself nod, “Yeah, Shauna. It’s Trav.” 

Shauna sits down and looks closer. Natalie says as Shauna looks closer, “Someone stung him up and then tried to cover their tracks.” 

Taissa adds, puffing her cigarette, “We think it’s the same person who’s blackmailing us.” 

Shauna’s head snapped up in confusion and worry. “What? Blackmail?”

Taissa and Natalie share a look, and then Natalie looks back at you. Neither of you got a text about it. “But you didn’t… get one of these?” as she leans back to the bed to pull out a postcard. 

Shauna is completely bewildered as she looks at the postcard. She leans forward, says, “What?” and investigates the rest of the card. She pauses with almost anger in her eyes when she sees the symbol. “No. What do they want?” 

Natalie rolls an eye of frustration, and Taissa says before Natalie can speak, “50 grand in cash to keep their mouths shut. We’re not sure exactly what they know, but we don’t want to find out.” 

“You all got one?” Shauna asks, and she looks over to you. You feel a lot of pressure on you now, and you quickly blurt, “No. I didn’t get one. Misty did, though.” 

“I mean, it’s got to be someone from the team, right? I mean, who else would know about this?”

“That reporter, " Natalie said with a smug smirk. She felt like she knew exactly who had done this. 

“Wait, wait. I thought I told you to take care of her,” Shauna says to Taissa, which raises an eyebrow. She was also talking to the team members behind your back. 

“I threatened a lawsuit. I told her to back off.” Taissa, crossed her arms, defended. 

“Fuck this.” Natalie snaps as she grabs her phone. 

“What are you doing?” Taissa asks. In this moment, you feel yourself rubbing Shauna’s shoulder for your own comfort and her own; she feels less tense as the girls talk. 

“I’m gonna bring Jessica Roberts- great fake name, by the way- to us. And I’ll just say, 'I’m ready to tell my story.'” Natalie says as she starts to form a text with her thumb. 

“No, because if it’s not her, then we are handing her the exact kind of story she is looking for,” Shauna says with a wave of the hand over the crime photos. 

“Shauna’s right.” You mumble as you try not to panic. You knew in your heart that Jessica was out of anyone, but you didn’t like the logic of going to her now. 

“Yeah, Shauna’s right, Nat. Please.” Taissa agreed as she looked at Natalie worriedly and shook her head. She was rightfully worried as Natalie didn’t stop sending texts to Jessica. “Please, just put the phone down. Stop it. Stop it!” Tassia stressed as her eyes started to widen. 

“Natalie!” Shauna calls out to have Natalie stop. 

“Please, Nat, stop it. Please, don’t talk to her!” You worry and come closer to Natalie, making Natalie look up at you, annoyed. 

“Fucking put the phone down!” Taissa hissed at Natalie, who was slowly putting down the phone. 

Natalie tilted her head to Taissa and said, “You know I don’t like it when you yell at me.” She dramatically puts the phone down. 

“Can you get the money?” Shauna asks Taissa. You bristle a little at the question but don’t want to make it a big deal. 

“I’m working on it.” 

“Once you do, we put a GPS tracker in the cash, and that way, we can follow it, and see who, what we’re- we’re dealing with.’ Shauna says, planning out what the mission will be. It felt familiar and quiet; you didn’t know how you placed yourself. “Together,” Shauna added as she looked on at Natalie. 

Natalie smiles at Shauna; a little bit of the hatchet was buried, as they agree with the plan. 

“I cannot believe I’m about to say this, but should we loop Misty in?” Shauna asks the group, and you feel yourself lean forward on this. You add, “Yeah, I think we should. She could track down the sender of the text from a pin or something, and she could-” 

“No. She could be part of it.” Taissa shook her head, and you couldn’t help but scoff at the idea. 

“That’s a little far-fetched.” You say to Taissa with a smile, “She would lie about something to make us closer to her, but blackmail us. That is too far for even Misty.” 

“Well, she did take me to see Travis, but first, she fucked with my car.” Natalie paused to inform the other two about your trip together. You felt yourself doubting Misty at that moment because it was all odd. “Still, she’s been helping me to figure this all out.” 

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause, naturally,” Shauna says as she waves her hand, dry and sarcastic. “Is there anything else I should know about, or does the blackmail, Travis maybe being murdered, and this one playing buddy cop with Misty Quigley just about cover it?” 

Natalie sniffed in response. 

You sigh and nod as you rub Shauna’s shoulder again. “Yeah, that about does it.” 

You feel yourself relax on the sand as your eyes open to an open lake view. It was beautiful. The water simmered in the lake like glitter in the air, making you want to walk into it. A summer breeze gently caresses your face as you gaze at how the sun sets on the horizon's edge. It was pure and something made by loving hands, as Laura Lee once said. 

There was someone familiar in the water. Your mother looked at the sun and turned around, the rays of light highlighting the baby hairs that stood atop her head. “Peanut, come into the water! It’s heaven!” Your mother says to you with a giggle in her throat. She was healthy. She looked just how she did in your childhood before her illness. Before, she let her hair go grey. She made the scene beautiful. 

A lightness spreads all around your body. You feel warmth you haven’t felt in months. Your mom is here, and she is healthy and young. 

You call out happily, “I’m coming! I’ve been waiting for you!” 

You stand up and feel almost nothing around you, not even the sand or your clothes, as you feel yourself strip down to your underwear to swim. 

You walk towards the water, carefree and almost relieved to see her.

Absentmindedly, you glance down at your feet in habit only to find coldness touching your feet. It wasn’t water of a hot summer day. It was frost. You take a second to look at the snow that fell onto your foot as you walked forward; your toes have the white fluff in between, and you notice how cold you are. You look up to see only your mother gone. You're not at the lake. You're on the snow-covered cliffside. 

You hesitated as you slowed your movements. It was your feet in the snow. You were in your underwear. Long hairs came from your legs and even from your feet. As you looked down, you felt something change in the air. 

The stillness of everything wasn’t right. It’s the wilderness. It’s not winter yet. 

You panic silently as you start to look around. It was all tall birch trees with autumn leaves still attached at the tops. Red and violent oranges stared down at you.

You looked down to almost a pond or a river. It wasn’t clear, as most of your legs were now submerged in it. It was all red. It made you shiver when the water brushed against your thighs. 

Laisse l'obscurité te libérer. 

You heard something from within the water. You didn’t like this, and you didn’t want this. The water stabs into you a 

The water was corrupted—something rotten like the smell of eggs and iron. You felt yourself walk across this water bank, fearing something might grab at your legs. 

‘It’s blood.’ you say out loud, as you try lto leave the tainted water. It was death. It was something dark. 

“No, no, no. Mom!” You called out in a panic. Did she fall in? Is it red because she is hurt? No, the whole body of water is red; it was like a vein of the forest. You felt your lips quiver as you struggled out of the water, trip on your foot in the sand, and fall into the water until your knees touched the bottom. “MOMMY!” You sobbed out as you tried to look around as you felt yourself not finding your footing. 

Splash! Splash!! 

You hear splashing in the water before you feel your nose fill with the thick pond water. It tasted as it smelt: “AH!” You yelped when you found air. You tried to move away from the force that pulled you under, only to find yourself being pulled down deeper. 

Your thrash and kick, flailing your arms, as you open your eyes to the metallic sting. Nothing but darkness tugged on your leg, wrapped around like a tentacle of some Greek myth, and you can’t help but panic.

You were drowning, but there was no pain. There was no sting of water in your throat. 

Waving desperate arms to the sky, the disgusting water above as another body is thrown into the water, almost wanting a hand to pull you out. 

As you stared at the body, it was thin, and you couldn’t make out anything to identify the girl whose lifeless body floated down like a rock.

You struggle more as exhaustion comes to your arms and legs and as the being tightens its grip. It doesn’t stop pulling, but you stopped swimming.  

You feared what was at the bottom and who had just fallen into the water. But it was peaceful when you stared up at the translucent water. It was enough for you to feel at ease. 

‘96 

You gasped awake in a panic, a hand resting on your frantic heart. Your body shook as you looked around the dusty, dank attic, and Shauna was lying beside you now, stirring at your noise. 

You felt tears fall out of your eyes without you realizing you were tearing up as you try to push air into your body, you were awake. It was just a horrible dream. 

Shauna stirred in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes, a frown on her lips. “Are you okay?” she yawns. 

You pant as you nod your head. “Yeah, horrible nightmare. I’m fine, go back to bed.” 

Creak!

There are the sounds of someone softly stepping up the ladder to the attic, and a pair of shoes are gently placed on the floor. You see Taissa’s head pointing out from the hatch. She almost widens her eyes when she notices both of you awake. 

“Hey. where have you been?” 

“I had to pee,” Taissa quickly says as she looks to the floor. She goes to her sleeping bag and asks, “What are you two doing up?”

“Bad dream,” Shauna says before you can, stretching her arms on her side of the makeshift bed. You look to Taissa as you try to fix your hair in your grogginess. 

“What was it this time? A Cheeseburger-baby?” Taissa chuckled as she stood still at the foot of your bags. You giggle as you try to braid your hair back to where it was before falling asleep. 

Shauna laughs, “I should have never told you about that.” She looks down to the ground, and worry seems to pass through her. “What am I going to do?”

Taissa’s eyes soften as she slowly lowers herself to the floor to look Shauna in the eyes. You tie the end of your braid to get closer. “What do you mean?” you ask softly, as your eyebrow crinkles in worry for her. 

“I heard that Katie Lindstrom did with the underwire of her bra last year,” Shauna states as she looks at you. She was serious. You just look on at her with wide, concerned eyes. “Shauna, that was a rumor-”

“Have you lost your mind? You’ll die.” Taissa adds with a grave undertone. 

Shauna’s lip quiver as she whispers back, “I’ll probably die either way. I’m in the middle of nowhere, and the Ob-gyn on call is Misty fucking Quigley!” she took a breath as she looked away with eyes in her eyes. You wanted to sob at the way she spoke, and you wanted to vomit at the idea you were going to lose your best friend. You grab her arm and rub it to comfort her as a tear rolls down your cheek, looking down to Shauna’s lap, as she continued her rant, “At least this way I won’t die having my best friends-” she cuts herself off. 

You paused as you slowly looked up at Shauna’s face, your eyes widening as you turned to look at Taissa. You couldn’t speak, think, or move. The information was just not expected. 

Shauna hates Jeff. She doesn’t like him and cheers whenever Jackie and him break up… You couldn't help but look back at everything that happened in your friendship and see the truth. Shauna was sleeping with Jeff, not the whole time, but at least since her hatred for him formed. 

“What… what were you about to say?” Taissa asks Shauna with wide eyes, and she also takes in the bombshell and you. 

For a moment, only the summer crickets' song could be heard. You looked on at Shauna in disbelief. You couldn’t believe she would betray Jackie, but you couldn’t help but be hurt that she didn’t confide that in you once. “Shauna?” Taissa asks again, more momentous. 

“At least this way I won’t die having my best friend’s boyfriend’s baby.” She whispers with a stammer in it from her emotions. She is crying now as she finally looks at you; she feels judged and disgusting. You rub your hand softly. You ask, in disbelief, “It’s Jeffs?” 

Shauna doesn’t say anything as her teary eyes burn into yours, almost begging you for forgiveness, like you were Jackie. You couldn’t help the betrayal that painted your face as tears welled in your eyes, overwhelmed with the truth. She was telling the stone-cold truth. You were starting to accept the facts, but it hurt you to think about what Jackie would say. 

“Whoa.” Taissa sighed as she felt what everyone was feeling. “Okay. I mean… Wow. Yeah.” She processed as she has Shauna looking at her, “But still, Shauna, it’s not worth dying to keep Jackie from finding out.” 

“It’s not Shauna.” You agreed as you sniffled a little bit. You were overwelemingly sad, and your dream didn’t help you prepare for the heaviness of the situation. “Jackie doesn’t have to find out.” As you grab her arm, you quickly say, “We must lie to her. We can’t let this get out. It-it.” You try to find an easy lie as fast as you can. “It was Randy! Randy marsh and you fucked at the party and I saw it! It’s okay! Please, we don’t have to do that, Shauna.” 

“I have a plan, alright?” Taissa cut in, “To head south and find help. So just wait.” 

You nodded at Taissa’s words. We all needed to leave, and the group needed to start being more aggressive with our approach to leaving. You turned your head to Shauna, came closer, and rubbed her back as lovingly as possible. You were angry with her, but she was deeply regretful in a dire situation; you loved her more than any other feeling. “Yeah, please just wait.” 

“Please, promise me not to do anything stupid,” Taissa begs as she puts a hand on Shauna’s knee. You kiss Shauna’s temple, rub her back, and Taissa moves to lie down on her bed. 

Shauna was silent as her eyes dried, her tear-stained face plagued by heavy thoughts. She doesn’t respond to your affection but doesn’t push you away when you lightly push her to bed. You cuddle beside her and plead, “Shauna, I will be here no matter what. I love you. Please, we need to find our way out, and I will go with you to get an abortion at a clinic with professionals.”

Shauna nods her head with empty eyes. “Okay.” She weakly says as she turns away from you so you can cuddle her back. You feel her shaking as she starts to cry into her pillow. She cries softly, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

You quietly rub her back and look at the back of her brunette hair. You feel a shy tear fall off the side of your eye and into your ear. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is you surviving this. Fuck everything else.”

Shauna just cries as you softly pet her hair and hold her shivering body. Taissa looks over at the two of you from her bed, concerned, and turns to keep an eye on them. 

You wake up in the early morning hours with an ache in your body, and your neck is stiff as always. You feel dark circles under your eyes as you rub your eyes to wake up fully. You sit up and look around the room to see Taissa and Shauna still resting. You felt pressure on your blader as you sat up in your blankets and didn’t bother to mess with your undone hair. 

You yawn into your hand as you quietly creep to the ladder and descend. You saw the girls sleeping on the floor, but empty beds were lying about like they were going to where you were going now. You don’t think much about this morning as you peacefully walked out of the cabin and onto your trail to the pooping corner. 

As you finished your business, Lottie walked by with a wide-eyed look of excitement: “(y/n)! You’re up!” 

You zip your pants and chuckle, “Yeah, I’m up. I had a fucking crazy dream.” 

Lottie stands next to you from the other side of the bushes. “I did, too. I asked Van to come with us because her dreams have been off, too, if that's okay.” 

You smile and nod, “Oh, yeah, that's fine. I love Van.” 

Lottie almost dropped her cheerful smile as she furrowed her eyebrow a bit. She quickly smiled again and nodded her head. “Yeah, she’s great. She’s been my best friend since diapers.” 

You nod your head as you try to explain the swing of expressions she made, you walk beside her and say, “Van’s always been nice to me, but since we’ve been here she has been such a good friend to me.” you look down to your feet and back to Lottie,

Lottie nods her head with a pinched lip. She looks away for a moment and then smiles back at you. “She’s a good friend. I’m happy you two have gotten close.” 

You look at the side of Lottie’s face, not knowing where her cheeriness went as you say, “Dreams last night?” 

Lottie looks back at you in surprise. You were looking at her, thinking, and she says, “Yeah, I had some weird ones last night.”

You return to the cabin to find Van and Laura Lee standing around the fire. Lottie nods over to them with a smile and cuts off your conversation to sit in a circle. Van is placing logs, while Laura Lee is placing kindling in the places between. 

You sit down and feel yourself hug the blanket closer in the crisp morning breeze. The others slowly sat beside you in the circling trunks surrounding the main fireplace. Lottie cleared her throat, saying, “Alright, let's start this thing. I had a dream about a talking squirrel, “ She blurts out with a giggle. Laura chuckles as well as Van, “It was saying something about breathing in life and that if I just go with the flow, I would be fine.” She confesses with another chuckle. 

You narrow your eyes as you snort, “That’s it? Anything else?” 

“Do you have anything better?” Van snarks with a chuckle. She looks over at you with a joking look. 

“A little.” You smile at her as you look down at your feet and put them closer to the small fire. “I had a dream about my mom at the lake. I, like, went to the water, and it then became winter. Snow everywhere and shit, in my toes. I saw this lake of blood.” 

“Exodus 7:14.” Laura Lee mumbles beside you; you turn your head to her with confusion. 

“What?” 

“A river of blood is in Exodus 7:14, part of the ten plagues God sent upon Egypt to convince Pharaoh to release the Israelites from slavery.” She says to you, her legs crossed and her hands clasped in her lap. She is trying her best to be here as a spiritual guide, and you are not uncomfortable with her religious lectures. 

“Did it have a meaning behind it? Like, was it a metaphor for something?” You ask her as you rub your hands on your thighs, “I don’t know. It was kinda scary.” 

“It was retribution for the drowning of the newborn Hebrew boys in the Nile. It took all the water to drink and to water their food.” 

You nodded your head as you rocked gently in your seat. “Well, I saw the lake, and somehow, I am inside the lake. I am standing on the shallow end, and it just smells horrible. I got scared thinking my mom fell in, so I looked for her, and then I was pulled in. I woke up as I was being pulled down.” 

The three look on at you with some concern, but Van says, “That was a crazy nightmare. If this is to put meaning on dreams or whatever, I think your dream was about you worrying over your mom.” 

Lottie nods and says, “Yeah, I think you were thinking about your mom last night before bed, and you felt all those feelings. I’ve had a few nightmares about my parents since I’ve been here.” 

As she plays with the cross on her necklace, Laura Lee says, “I think we should pray together. I’ve kept your mother in my prayers, (Y/n). How about we do one together?” 

You felt your heart punch when you were touched by the idea that Laura Lee had been praying for your mom since she got sick. When she told her she would keep her in her prayers the first time, Van and Lottie looked uncomfortable, but you didn’t stop yourself when you said, “You know what, Laura, sure. I think that would make me feel better.” 

Laura Lee beams as she grabs your hand in her thin pale one; she grabs the hesitie Van’s. She looks at Lottie and slowly grabs Van’s, then yours. You look on at Laura and Lottie, bowing their heads and closing their eyes. You look at Van doing the same as you, looking at the other, trying not to laugh and being sincere at this moment. 

“Dear heavenly father, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. We ask you to look over Mrs. (L/n) and (Y/n) (L/n) in this time of uncertainty and to have mercy on the health of Mrs. (L/n). Amen.”

’21

You sit across from Mr. Taylor as you try to fix your skirt, desperate for a good brunch. You look back up and say, “So, yeah, my sales have been very good this last quarter because my next book-”

“The Three Wishes thing.” Mr. Taylor asks as he sips on his coffee. He is trying to be interested in your life. 

“Yeah, and-” 

“What were the sales? Number wise for books?” He asked you before you could speak. You felt 15 again in his kitchen. Shauna looks on at you with a wary expression as you are cut off, but there is a small shimmer in her eye that you know but never said. Envy. 

“About 100,000 copies, especially because there is this app that younger people like called TikTok, which has gotten much attention for my work. So, if we’re talking about my other books included, it would be about 400,000 copies of them together. It’s getting decent, but when the whole Twilight thing was happening, I had a peak of 1,500,000 copies.” 

“You haven’t gotten a movie deal yet? It sounds like you are doing amazing.” He says with a smile growing on his lips and somewhat pride in the little girl he has known for 35 years. You smile back at the praise and nod. 

“I haven’t had any deals in the talks, but some are whispering about the rights going to Netflix or Hulu to adaptation because romance is becoming a big genre for teens again.” 

“Ta-da!” Mrs. Taylor says with a smile as she presents her dish. Tuna Quiche. 

“Oh, wow,” Shauna says with a nod as she looks at the food with a painfully fake positivity. Jeff smiles, and Mr. Taylor smiles as Mrs. Taylor places the dish in the center of the dining table. 

You fake a big smile and say, “Thank you, Ms. Taylor. This looks delicious.” 

“I know it’s silly to do this each year,” Mrs. Taylor says with a distant look as she turns to the side table where Jackie’s cake and two presents stood. She lifts the two small box presents wrapped with a blue and a yellow ribbon. “It’s not a real birthday without presents.”

The older woman hands you and Shauna the two boxes that are presented. Shauna is trying to be okay as you beam up to her. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor, " you say as you gently pull the ribbon, and Shauna unwraps the small box. You already know what it is, and you want to cry. 

“Oh, god, look how cute!” You pull out a small porcelain bunny. The brown rabbit is anthropomorphic and dressed in a purple dress and a white parasol. She looks to be dancing like a southern belle with a winked eye. 

“Oh,” Shauna sighs as she tries to smile. She pulls out a mother rabbit with babies hanging from her white skirts. It was cute, but it was heartbreaking. 

“Oh, yup.” Jeff nodded as he leaned in, “It’s- she’s got little babies. That is nice. That’s very nice. It’s very pretty.”

“It’s- it’s lovely.” Shauna agreed with a forced smile. 

You put yours before your plate as if you were happily claiming it. “You even remembered our colors. Right, Shauna, You’re blue, and I’m purple, and Jackie was pink.” 

Shauna nodded her head with the same smile. You smiled as you looked at the disappointed Mrs. Taylor. She nodded lightly and said, “Jackie just adored rabbits.”

You just nod as you see Shauna pursing her lip at Ms. Taylor’s comment. It was a mismermory of Jackie. 

Mr. Taylor says as he grabs the pie knife, “Dig in before it gets cold.”

“Great.” “Deal!” 

You smiled as Mr. Taylor placed a large slice of the quiche onto your plate. You looked over to your side for a piece of toast. You weren’t excited to taste this. You could die without eating fish again. 

“Yum! Where did you get this recipe?” You say as you politely eat at her table, remembering how she corrected you in childhood when you slept over. But you know why she needs you here, why you play like you were her child for this hour. “I would never have thought to put tuna in a quiche.” 

Mrs. Taylor beams at your compliment and nods, “I got it from Paula Deen! I just love her, and I wish people didn’t judge her so much.” 

You felt Shauna kick your leg as you professionally held in a cackle. You lick your lips as you grab your mimosa. “I agree. I mean, what are we comparing her to? The KKK?” You lie through your teeth to appease the racist old woman you can’t stomach upsetting. 

“It’s Jackie’s birthday. Just breathe and lie. Just get through this, " you thought as you let Mrs. and Mr. Taylor ramble about how wrongfully she was canceled for her remarks. You wanted to peel your skin, but you bit your tongue. They have always been this way, but at least they were polite. 

There was a lull for a moment as Mrs. Taylor looked on at Shauna, a mix of longing and bitterness. 

“You two have an anniversary coming up, don’t you?” She asked as she looked at the couple pointedly. You glance up to Mr. Taylor, who has his gaze on his plate. You drank the rest of your mimosa. 

“Yup. Yeah, pretty soon.” Jeff answered with a smile. He was in good spirits despite the tension building. 

“Jackie would’ve been so happy for you.” She says in a wispy way, you knew that her Valium was kicking in as as then blinks, “I truly believe that. She was generous that way. And always worried about you finding someone, Shauna. And you too, (y/n).” She added, sending you a small smile at the end. You didn’t know how to take any of the tension as you didn’t in previous years. An ongoing feud only on one side out of grief. You knew Shauna enough to know why she still comes; you come for similar reasons. “Sliver linings, I suppose.” 

“I think Jackie would be happy with my New York lifestyle.” 

“She would be so impressed with how slim you got. You look just like your mother when you were young. You dress up like those girls on Girls. It made me think if you two went to Rutgers.” Mrs. Taylor compliments and aims through your heart like an arrow—one about your mother, another about Jackie, and a comment on your body. Triple digits in one go.  

You smile as you take a bite of your quiche. “Oh yeah, I like to think me and her, and Shauna would go the clubs I got to go to. I went to one with pink lighting and flowers on the wall, and my first thought was, 'Jackie, would love this!’” You thoughtfully replied, as you wanted to bite through the tip of your tongue. 

Mrs. Taylor almost ignores you as her head sways back to Shauna. “You two are a-a better match. You're both the type to be content. You don’t want more than, well,” she stops, continuing now, hearing the anger in her words. You look down as you nibble on your croissant. You glance up to see Jeff looking at you in shock. “What you have?” 

“Um—” Shauna starts, almost instinctively standing up for herself, but she is too shy to continue. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. No, I mean… It’s nonsense all this talk about having it all. The fact is that you can’t be remarkable and raise a family.” 

“And you’re the mother of such a special little child.” Mr. Taylor added to lighten the mood a little bit. 

“I don’t even like my own daughter.” Shauna retorts with a dryness that matched the food. 

Jeff and you hold back giggles as she says that to say professional in this brunch. 

“I don't,” Shauna says again as she looks at you. You knew it was a lie but also not dishonest. You couldn’t help but agree that you disliked Callie's behavior but thought it was too far. Jeff chuckles and shakes his head, thinking it was all a joke, “It’s an inside joke. She’s kidding.” 

BRINNG! BRINNG! BRINNG! 

You widened your eyes as your phone rang in your purse. You quickly turned to the bag hanging on your chair and picked out your phone—it was your publisher. 

“I’m so sorry, I have to take this business call. I will be right back, " you say as you take the purse strap on your shoulder and stand up. You smile to Mrs. Taylor. “Delicious food. I’m excited for cake.” 

You leave the dining room quickly as you answer the call outside on their back patio. You sit down on their pool chair, stare off at the flowers in their garden, and pull out a cigarette, resting it on your lower lip. 

“What is it, Anderson? What's the good news?” 

“We’re underestimating the excitement for the third book. Marketing and Production have called me saying they are seeing the number rise and will print about 100,000 more books.” 

You nearly choked as you lit the end of the cigarette. As Anderson spoke, you said, “What?! What happened?” 

“Well, there was this TikTok edit for your Vampire Annette, and now we are finally starting talks about a movie deal!” The young man beams into the phone and rambles on, “And, that gives you that needed break, lady.” 

You are stunned as you just blink and look at the green weeds. You were lost for words. This was amazing news. You took a drag of the stick and say, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, Holy shit! You’re going to see a lot of attention soon. I just had to tell you. We will be in touch soon.” Anderson says cheerfully, as he hangs up on you. 

You felt yourself still for a moment and held your phone up to your ear still as you smoked away. You didn’t feel happy. You didn’t feel anything for some reason. This brunch has taken out most of your energy for anything else. 

“You should be happy, you know, not everyone can make a living off of porn.” A girlish giggle says beside you. You felt your lip quiver as you realized why there was a numbness inside of you: it was because this was going to happen. You turn your head to see Jackie in her orange ruffled bikini from her 15th birthday party, a pool party. She looked so small and childish as she smirked, “You know, if I knew you like vampires so much, I would have watched Nosferatu with you finally after your years of begging and begging.” 

In middle school, you three had a movie phase and would watch whatever the other said when you slept over. You pick Nosferatu, but Shauna and Jackie rejected the idea because it was too old, so you all watched Jackie’s pick of It Happened One Night. 

You look on at her as you puff your cigarette, a small smile creeps on your lips as it quivers. “You would have hated it.”

“I would have. But we would have been together.” She says with a cheerful smile, it was like a memory of a memory playing out in front of you. You felt 15 again under her gaze. 

You had to physically stop yourself from letting yourself cry at those words. You quiver, “I would have, too.” 

“If only you said something. None of this would have happened.” She says with a twist in her smirk becoming dark. You wanted to scream with guilt at those words. 

You look to your feet as you ash the cigarette and look back up to see the phantom gone from the pairing patio chair. A stinging feeling comes over you that you can’t shake as you slowly look up to the sky. You let yourself cry, smoking the cigarette as if it would clear the stress. 

“Jackie should’ve been here.” You think as you shakily take a breath in. Your grief, guilt, and nostalgia lock you in place for a moment. 

‘96

Shauna and you crouch down at a Rabbit trap as Jackie says, “I never thought I’d be desperate enough to want to eat a rabbit.” 

Shauna sighed as she stood up with nothing. You don’t say anything to Jackie out of exhaustion with the day already. Jackie continues, “Oh, well… I mean, what even is a rabbit? A squirrel with floopy ears and a pom-pom on its ass? Like why? What even is that?” 

“It’s a rabbit. What’s this question?” Shauna says warily as she walks forward. She seems as exhausted as you as you walked beside her for support.  You stop with them as Jackie moans displeasure at the leaves nibbled on by the clever rabbits that missed the traps. 

“I’d sell my firstborn for a cheesesteak right now.” Jackie moans to the two of you. 

“Can we stop talking about food?” Shauna quickly says as she rests her fists on her hips. You could feel the silent tension of knowing something Jackie didn’t grow inside you. The firstborn comment made you feel like you were walking on eggshells. 

“I think I miss Cheesesteak more than I miss Jeff,” Jackie blurted out. Looking at Shauna, you both chuckled at her statement as she continued, “Is that even possible?”

Jackie sighed as she looked away at the trees and crossed her arms. “No, I miss Jeff more. Fuck. I miss his smell and…” Jackie rants as Shauna walks away. You felt the hairs on your neck standing up when you remembered hiding everything from Jackie. She didn’t do anything wrong. You stand there at full attention to Jackie’s words to not let her notice how Shauna looked hurt, “the way he rubbed his wrist with his thumb when we were holding hands, and I even miss his stupid Ace Vantura impressions.” 

You rub Jackie’s arm with comforting eyes. “I’m sorry, Jackie. I know you must miss him, " you say as Jackie starts to follow Shauna down the trail. Jackie smiles back to you, understanding and loving the attention you are giving her. 

“He must be losing his mind right now. Did I tell you guys he said he loved me before we left?” Jackie says as she looks back to you, and you couldn’t help but express your shock. She just couldn’t tell your shock wasn’t because of the confession. Shauna stops dead in her tracks and turns to look at Jackie. “No, you didn’t,” Shauna replies evenly. 

“Did you tell him you loved him back?” You asked quickly to Jackie. 

“Yeah. Yeah. I-I didn’t say it back, and… I should have.” Jackie says, keeping her arms crossed. She looks down at the forest floor with a mix of emotions. For a moment, all of you pause the conversation to only hear the crowing in the distance. 

“I’m sure he knows how you feel.” Shauna says as she starts to walk on the path, but she stops and says, “Wait. Do you.. Love him?” 

You paused beside Jackie with wide eyes, almost wanting to scream at Shauna to shut up, as Jackie looks at Shauna for a moment as Shauna continues, “I just thought that-”

“I don’t know. I-I just shouldn’t have made him wait, that is all. I just got so caught up in making everything perfect, and now, if we die out here, someone else will be his first, and I’m-”

As Jackie was ranting, Shauna stopped to lean against a tree out of exhaustion. She held her stomach as she took a deep breath. You and Jackie quickly came to her side, concerned. “Shauna?” You yelped as you grabbed her shoulder. 

“Whoa. Hey, hey, hey. You okay?” Jackie says as she circles the two of you to be in front of Shauna. 

Shauna pushes a hair behind her ear and says weakly, “Yeah. I’m just hungry.” 

Jackie quickly reaches into her pocket to pull out her last piece of fish jerky and says to Shauna, “Oh, here. Take this.” 

“It’s your last piece, I-” Shauna tries to say, as you pull out your last piece of jerky. 

“You need it more than me. Here,” Jackie says as she smiles at Shauna to take the food. She doesn’t understand how much truth is in her words. You were sweating bullets at the many opportunities to tell Jackie come up in your face, and you had to resist telling her that Shauna is pregnant. 

“Just take it.” You softly push as you look deeply into Shauna’s eyes. 

Shauna nods weakly and says, “Thank you.” She takes two pieces and eats them. 

You quickly turn to Jackie to lighten the mood, “By the way, if he has his first time with someone else, it doesn’t change you were his first love. And sex is so overblown!” 

Jackie chuckles and nods her head. “Yeah, I am. He will just have to think about me when he sleeps with whatever skank you took my place.” She snorted at her joke. 

You chuckle with her as you refuse to look at Shauna, knowing this hurts her. " Yeah, you were the most interesting part about Jeff, anyway.” 

You all giggle at that joke as you feel Jackie nudge you, “How do you know sex is overblown, huh?” 

You blush as you shake your head, turning to walk away. “I may have been fingered before, but it doesn’t count!” 

Jackie gasps and slaps Shauna’s arm for attention. She quickly perks up to follow you to get more. “It does, too! I told you when Jeff did!” 

“Well, it doesn’t matter now!” You giggle with blush on your cheeks, trying to run away from your two friends who are now pestering you for more information.

You sit beside Jackie, holding her hand gently as you paint pink on her fingernails. “Do you even think that’s true?” Jackie asks Mari, besides her, between the legs of Akiliah, who was braiding her hair. 

You snicker as you add, “I don’t think she is a prostitute if that is what you're asking, Jackie.” 

“I mean, you can’t not be a prostitute if you're offering blowies for 20 dollars.” With a snort, Jackie says Mari and Akiliah giggling at the rumor about Jessica Lowa. 

“Ooohh!” The girls who circle the fire are sent to Natalie and Travis when they return. The whole cabin ground was giggling and whistling over to the couple; you bit your lip as you focused on not painting on Jackie’s cuticles. 

“Natalie and Travis sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-” Laura Lee was teasing with a playful smirk. You feel yourself have to hold in a small gasp from your lips as you try to stop the blurring of your eyes from tears. Dear god, you didn’t need them being together rubbed into your face. 

Lottie giggles and shakes her head at Laura, “I think they were doing more than kissing.” 

You couldn’t help but agree. You wanted to cry.

Mari calls out from the porch, “Hey, Nat, how exactly are you and Flex hunting for out there anyways?”

“I hear it’s beaver season!” Van cuts in with a joke, making you all snicker. 

“Maybe a condom.” You giggle yourself at Akilah’s little joke. You push her knee to approve the joke, and she sends you a beaming smile at the praise. 

“Ah! Sit and spin, assholes.” Natalie says as she flips off the group, turning for everyone to see it sent their way.  When you finish her picky finger, Jackie pulls her hand from your hold, and you look up to see her frowning deeply in anger. 

“Is this why we don’t have any food? ‘Cause you been too busy running for mayor of Pound city.” Jackie cuts into the laughs towards Natalie. You look at Jackie and back to Natalie, feeling the tension building. 

“Uh, go fuck yourself.” Natalie retorts. 

“I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. Nat’s always down for a good time, right?” Jackie says with a tilt of her head. She steps down the steps slowly, coming closer. Everyone pauses what they are doing to see what Jackie is going to say, listening to every word. 

“I can’t magically conjure a deer, Jackie.” Natalie says and then points her finger at her for a second, storming closer to jackie herself “But keep talking your shit, I’ll find something to shoot.” 

“Oh. Wow. Oh, you’re so tough.” Jackie mocked as she came into Natalie’s face. “I’m not scared of you, burnout.” 

“No.” Natalie stares daggers into Jackie’s eyes and says, “You’re jealous. ‘Cause your an uptight, prudish little bitch.” 

Taissa runs between the two and pushes Natalie off of Jackie. “Hey! Knock it off!” she says, turning to Jackie, “Both of you.” 

The two girls turn their backs and walk away, Jackie sending a middle finger to Natalie as she storms off. 

“Fuck that bitch.” Jackie huffs as she passes you to get into the cabin. You just sit there in shock. 

You wanted to cry. Natalie wanted Travis and was showing off her claim to him. 

You look to your side to see Van whispering to Taissa, Van’s blue eyes look at yours as you get off the porch step to check on Jackie. 

‘21

You: I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I wanted to know if you want to go to the reunion together.  You: I also got great news from my publishing house and wanted to celebrate with you sometime.  😊 Van: I don’t think I can go to the reunion.  Van: I’m happy to hear about that! Please call me when you can to talk more about this because I can’t stand texting.  Van: 3====D You: Okay! I would have called if I wasn’t in a situation! It’s all good.  You: I’ll come by after the Reunion. They wanted me to give my graduation speech, which I never got to give. I wanted to give you the chance to make fun of me.  Van: I would never. 

When you came back inside Jackie’s parents' house, you were scolded by Mrs. Taylor about your smoking, which Jeff and Mr. Taylor only added to. You smiled and apologised on your way out to go to the bathroom real quick, even with Shauna’s pleading eyes for you to stay with her. You sat on the toilet as you typed a text to your ex-fiance, now a long-distance friend, and you sighed as you felt yourself smile. You knew you needed to speak to her about everything happening with the team, but you hadn’t found the time or the mind to do so. You miss her and want to tell her about your life again, even with how things ended the last time you were together. It felt like something within you was looking for Van’s comfort and her presence. 

You leave the small bathroom across from the main bedroom and enter the hallway, only to find Shauna standing outside Jackie’s room. The door closing behind you makes Shauna turn to the side to meet your eyes. The two of you share a quiet sorrow this morning. She returns to Jackie’s bedroom and walks into it, leaving you alone in the hallway. 

As you reach the white doorway, you slowly step down the hall with a heavy heart. Leaning on the door frame, you look on as Shauna silently stares at the bed. The room was untouched from the day you all left. The white silk of her bed and curtains were meticulously cleaned and steamed, the pink carpet was spotless of any dirt or life, and her vanity was still messily scattered from her rushed packing of her makeup the day of the trip. It felt like her room was stopped in time and space, like the ghost of the homecoming queen was still living there. 

As you shyly walked into the room, you felt like a teenager. It made you think of a good memory of one of the many sleepovers you shared. Shauna went into her purse and started to text someone on the other end. You assumed it was Callie as you slowly came over to the end of the bed in the center of the room. 

 You’re parents were very strict about you going to your friends' houses when you were a child, and they never let you have a sleepover until you were 12 years old. It didn’t matter how many camping trips you went on with Shauna, Jackie, and your parents. They didn’t like the idea of you sleeping away from them. It didn’t matter how much they knew Shauna’s parents or Jackie’s, and they didn’t let you stay longer than 9 pm. It took you, Shauna, and Jackie begging your mother for weeks for her to finally agree that you were to sleepover at Jackie’s at her birthday party, rules being you had to call your mother when you were going to bed and when you woke up to pick you up as soon as possible.  A smile comes to your lips as you remember your first time sleeping over at Jackie’s house.

“You remember when we finally had a sleepover with you guys?” you ask quietly as you look at Shauna. She was now looking at the small dairy you both bought after you were rescued to make cute favorite pages of things you knew Jackie would have loved if she was still around. 

“Yeah,” Shauna chuckles as she looks up from the pages. “We finally won. We've got to all be together finally…” 

You felt sad at the memory, feeling that innocence and triumph were the highlights of your childhood. You felt yourself almost melt into the memories as a chill crept up your spine. 

“Okay, read it back to me.” The sweet sound of Jackie’s was heard behind you. She was young, with pigtails on her crown. Her body was petite and still childish, and she looked on at a younger version of you and Shauna. 

You had turned your head to the scene. You smiled as you saw your chubby self giggling into her fist as she tried to let Shauna speak. “Okay, so I’ll go. You’re Jeff, right?” And then he will nod or whatever, and then I’ll say, “Your friend Randy told me that you asked him to ask me to ask Jackie if she likes you.” Shauna excitedly reads off the notebook paper, her small finger moving along with the words. 

12 year old Jackie blushes as she shakes her head a little, “Just don’t say that I told you that I like him. I don’t want him to think that I’ve been, like, pining over him or whatever.” 

You saw your younger self giggle harder in her hands, blushing at the idea of romance, as you said, “I bet you have been writing little doodles about him for weeks now.” 

Jackie giggles and pushes your shoulder, pushing you back to the pillows. “Shut up, (y/n). It’s not like you don’t pine over Joshua!” 

“Stop it!” Your younger self squeals with Jackie, grabbing her hands to hold yourself up with giggles. You never remember how happy you were as a kid. You smile at the scene as you feel Shauna’s arm brush against your own. She is looking on at the bed as you were. 

“What if he says yes?” Shauna asks Jackie as she holds her tassel pen. 

Jackie straightened her back, “Then just be like, “Okay, Cool… But definitely don’t act like you know I like him back.” 

“Wait. Do you, like, like like him?” Shauna asks Jackie with wide eyes. “Oh my god, Jackie, why didn’t you tell me?” 

All your younger selves giggle and are excited. You feel a tear come down your cheek, and your hand comes up to wipe it. You look away for a moment to look at the smudge of black makeup on your fingers. 

“It’s not your fault,” Jackie says as she sits alone on the bed. She looks at you with her big innocent eyes and looks at you with pity for a moment. “What happened.” She added, to explain what she was talking about. 

“I know,” Shauna says beside you. You look to her quietly as you realize she was seeing everything you were seeing, too. It was real or not real. It didn’t matter. 

“Actually, you don’t know.” Jackie retorts with a pout on her lips, mocking. “It’s totally your fault. It’s your fault for not stopping it, (Y/n).” She looks to you with a smile and back to Shauna. 

Your lip quivered as you looked at her round face. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have stayed with you that night.” You whisper to the phantom.

“But we were kids. And it was awful.” Jackie says again, more calmly and sweetly. A mood swings with each word the phantom has. 

“Why are you here?” Shauna asks softly.

“Why are you here?” Jackie whispers back with a small smirk growing on her lips. 

You both look at the bed and whisper together in the bedroom, so you don’t notice when Jeff enters the doorframe. “Where have you guys been?” he says softly as he pauses at the doorframe, unable to walk through. “You left me all alone down there.” 

Shauna sighs softly as she looks at her husband, and you quickly try to fix your black makeup. You quickly lie: “Sorry, Jeff. The door was open, and I got emotional. I needed a moment. Sorry I stole your wife.” 

You felt a sting of guilt when you knew what you said was truer than he knew. 

Jeff nods his head and smiles softly. “It’s okay. Shauna, if you wanna go, we can go.” 

Shauna doesn’t react to his words or your lies. She walks past him and says, “We just have to make it through dessert.”

“To Jackie, whose light shone too bright ever to be extinguished from our memories. Happy Birthday, baby.” Mrs. Taylor roasted, you all held up refilled mimosas. You smiled widely as you looked at her. 

“Happy birthday.” Mr. Taylor agreed as he momentarily looked up to the ceiling and sipped. 

“Cheers.” 

“Happy birthday, Jackie!” You say with a cheerful smile as you sip your drink, you don’t stop yourself from drinking it all in one go. “To Jackie.” Shauna adds,

“We’re reading Elena Ferrante in our book club, and it reminds me so much of you girls.” Mrs. Taylor says as you take a piece of cake. 

You nod as you push a hair behind your ear, “Oh! Which one? Lost daughter, Days of abandonment? 

“My Brilliant Friend.” She beams happily and looks at you as if you were the smartest person she has ever met. You feel yourself pinch a smile back at the mention of the book. Of course, she would think of Jackie when reading that book. “It can’t always have been easy for you, Shauna. Jackie was just so… gifted. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must’ve been, for both of you, to always comparing yourselves to someone so beautiful and smart. ” Mrs. Taylor ranted as she ended, her emotions painting brightly in grief.  

You wanted to scream. You never knew why there was so much animosity toward Shauna, but you knew that at some level, everyone saw the marriage as one Shauna stole from Jackie. Shauna was living the life Jackie would have had if she had survived. 

“Shauna got into Brown.” Jeff defends with a slight move of his hand. He was over this whole facade. “She’s, uh, the smartest person I’ve ever met. Are-are you a genius?” Jeff turns his head to Shauna to ask. You smile lightly as you eat more of the cake, letting everything happen before you. 

Shauna is stunned to silence as she opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Jeff asks again, “Did you ever take one of those tests? You should take one of those.” 

“I haven’t.” Shauna bashfully looks down, quiet, uncomfortable with everything. You couldn’t help but feel the same. 

“Shauna and I were sleeping together when Jackie and I were a couple.” Jeff blurted out to the old couple. You choke on your mimosa as you try to sit up straighter at the news; a little juice falls on your shirt. There was silence at the table as Mr. and Mrs. Taylor looked on with horror. You couldn’t help but look at Jeff with wide eyes. “Which is, obviously, you know, a shitty thing. But there it is.” 

Mrs. Taylor sends a look to Mr. Taylor as ‘I told you so’ as you put down your drink. You wanted another cigarette. 

“Because the truth is that Jackie was amazing.” Jeff sighs as he looks at the couple, “But so is my damn wife. And she still is. And I may have been an Idiot then, but I was smart enough to see that.” Jeff looks around the table, and for a moment, your eyes lock together, and you give him a nod of approval. He did right by Shauna, defending her but exposing that was wild. 

“And this really is the best Tuna Quiche I’ve ever tasted, Mrs. Taylor.”  He added as he toasted to Mrs. Taylor. 

You just sit still in your seat for a moment as you find your words: “I found out in the wilderness.” You say as you look at the Taylors. As you spoke, you could see shock written on their faces, adding to this scandal. “It was heartbreaking, but even then, I knew it was them being stupid and not understanding the gravity of how it would hurt Jackie.” You confess as you frown for the first time since being here. 

You sigh as you look up to the couple. “Jackie was our best friend. She drank Rum milk punch at parties, and stole your Valium for the trip, and she used to talk about how my arms were chucky. She wasn’t perfect, and I don’t want to remember her that way. She was Jackie. Our Jackie. No amount of years or regrets will change that. She would be happy knowing we all still come together for her birthday; she was humble enough for that.”  

You smile and raise your glass again. After your speech, the couple smiles weakly as they agree, and Shauna and Jeff go along. 

‘96

After comforting Jackie and trying to bite your tongue about Natalie, you decided you needed to let yourself vent for a moment. With a growl in your stomach, you crawl up the stairs to the attic, logging your emotional day. Exposing every secret, every dirty detail of your night with Natalie, how you’ll go to hell for lying to Jackie for so long. You cuddled in your blankets and didn’t look up when Taissa approached the attic. 

She started to unbutton her shirt without even greeting you and paused for a moment. Then, she approached your shared pile of clothes and grabbed Shauna’s white push-up bra. 

“Um- Where’s Shauna?” Taissa snaps to you with a grave tone. You turn your head to her as you put down your journal. You don’t understand why the importance right now. You then look at the bra in her hand at the rough cut on the inseam; the wire was ripped out. 

You shoot up from your bed, “Oh my god! Shauna!” as you run out of the attic. Taissa is right behind you as you stumble out off the ladder. Once your feet find ground, Taissa slides down the ladder and rushes past you against all your might. She was on the actual soccer team; she ran outside. 

Misty spun around to you while holding a cup of ‘medicine’ for Ben. She asked you with furrowed eyebrows, “(Y/n), everything okay?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, Misty!” You dismissed her as you moved her out of your way, softly, as she stared at the back of your head when you stormed outside. 

You come to the door when Taissa grabbed Lottie’s shoulders and asked, “Lottie, have you seen Shauna?” 

“Uh…”

“Lottie, have you?!” Taissa pressed harder as you approached the girls, who were already slightly out of breath. 

“I think she went that way. Wait! Uh…!” Lottie stops as she looks concerned at Taissa. "Were- were you outside last night eating dirt?”

You paused as you looked at Taissa with wide eyes. The night with dirt under her nails comes to mind. 

“What the actual fuck! No!” Taissa hisses as she turns around to run into the woods to find Shauna.

 Lottie grabs your arm before you can follow behind her, “Is everything okay?” 

You push her hand off as gently as you can as you say, “No, stay here! Don’t tell anyone about this!” 

You pull away from her completely, noticing how concerned she was about you and feeling touched by it. Then, from a distance, you follow behind Taissa. 

You weren’t in shape before the crash, and you had only lost weight from not having enough to eat. You weren’t doing your best as you panted through the greenery. You were still behind Taissa by a few feet. 

It felt like hours as you ran behind Taissa. She stopped to look around momentarily, and you leaned your hands on your knees as you desperately tried to breathe. You saw a footprint in the moss that led to your left. You and Taissa continued as you found your breath again. 

You two finally find her sitting against a tree with a blanket under her body. She laid out her supplies beside herself. “Shauna!” Taissa yells as she turns the corner of the tree. Shauna is lighting the end of the wire with your weed lighter.

Witch hazel. A underwire. A lighter. A rag. 

You felt your lip curl into a sob when you looked at the broken girl on the forest floor. You couldn’t stomach that this is what you have. You were shaking when you came over to her side, Taissa the other, as you looked over her body. 

“Okay. Okay. Um…” Taissa processes as she sees what is before her; she is trying to stay strong. “You’re not going to do this alone, okay?” 

You nod your head as you kiss Shauna’s temple. “We’re going to be right here for you. I promise. I will always love you, Shauna.” 

Shauna’s lip quivers as she rests her head in your chest. She cries heartily, and Taissa grabs the wire from her hand. She took in a deep breath as she positioned herself in between Shauna’s legs. “I’m going to help you,” Taissa says as she takes another big breath. “If you let me.” 

Shauna pulls her head out from your breasts to look at Taissa, and she nods her head. She couldn’t muster up any words for this moment. “Okay.” 

You rub her shoulders as you move behind her. You lean Shauna into your body as you hover over your back, putting your legs beside her body to stabilize her. All you could muster in comfort was a shaky, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay, Shauna.” 

Taissa puts up her curls in a ponytail as she then leans down to perform an abortion as best she can. Shauna lets a shakily breath as she leans down on your body and slides to rest on your stomach. You pet her hair gently and feel fat tears roll down your cheeks. You look at every curve of Shauna’s face, fearing it will be the last time you see it. Shauna nods as Taissa places her hand on her thigh to move the wire inside. You couldn’t help but hiccup a sob as you say, “It’s okay.” 

Shauna was panting as you tried to comfort her with your hand in her hair, your kisses to her temple, but she was panicking softly as Taissa inserted the underwire. You hid your eyes into Shauna’s shounder as it shook. You couldn’t watch this. “Okay. Keep going.” Shauna whimpers to Taissa below. 

You slowly breathe as you rub her arms and hear Taissa sniffling back. She cries as she pushes the wire further in. Shauna shakes in pain as an agonizing moan comes from her mouth. She bites her fist as Taissa continues to press inward, and she whimpers, but it becomes hard to hear anymore. “I love you, Shauna. Everything will be okay.” You whisper into her ear. 

Shauna sobs into her fist and yells, “Stop! Stop! Take it out! Take it out!” 

Taissa takes it out as soon as she hears Shauna’s cries. She starts crying as Shauna sits up. “I can’t do it! I can't do it!” Shauna sobs. 

You hug your arms around her shoulders as you kiss her temple. Taissa rushes over to hug Shauna’s waist, and Shauna clings onto both of you. “I know! I know. It’s okay.” 

Shauna sobs into Taissa's chest, “I don’t want to die!” 

You sob yourself as you hear her say that. You rub her back and say, “I won’t let you die, Shauna. You’re not going to die.” 

“It’s okay.” Taissa cries as she hugs onto Shauna. 

And for a moment in those woods, you all three cried like children in each other's arms. Then, you all quietly, without any words spoken, walk back to the cabin as the sun sets in the distance. You hold onto Shauna’s hand as you walk back and tuck her into bed as soon as you all return. You don’t even think about your journal that wasn’t on your bed anymore. 

Taglist: @zhivaxo @h-doodles @homopheli @bigtimesalt8196 @juniperjean @scatorccioz @juniperjean @yaakooi @lottieswebs @juchily @freezinggay @deathly710-blog @ghostoflesbianism @marvelous-wandanatangel @errriiie @anskkks @deathvidal @slutforhotpeople @thursdayygrrrl @day-ziez @evewasheretoday @mayasaurusss @captainbabybear @eleanormall @mommyeater2000 @leonchef @mikititta @tigersarrcool @nyasbae @dykepvppy @jax1118 @oakwave @mmiah @dvrkhcld @swiftin0f @opheliadeservedbetter-27 @psychicdreamwonderland @pinkmoonzzz @under-your-bed-not-in-it @sadsapphic-rose @fictitious-sapphic @gayandfairycore @modernvenuss

[lemonthesh4rk]

Have you noticed who's NOT in the Misadventures crypts?

Okay so I know we've all been crying and mourning the canonized deaths of all the emperors in empires smp, but have you noticed that like, not everyone is there??

Here's a list of all the ppl in the crypts (as far as I've seen there could be more and i could be forgetting a few)

Pearl s1 - "The Goddess"

Fwhip s1 - "The Tinkerer"

Fwhip s2 - "The Goblin"

Gem s1 - "The Wizard"

Gem s2 - "The Dawn Princess"

Jimmy s1 - "The Codfish Boy"

Jimmy s2 - "The Sheriff"

Shubble s1 - "The Gnome"

Shubble s2 - "The Witch of Evermore"

Katherine s1 - "The Sheep Queen"

Ren for some reason??? - "The Red King"

Katherine s1 - "The Sheep Queen"

Joey s1 - "Ruler of the Lost Empire"

Joey s2 - "The Pirate King"

Pix s1 - "The King of Copper"

Pix s2 - "The Archeologist"

Joel s1 - "The Mezalean King"

Joel s2 - "The God of Thunder"

Lizzie s1 - "The Queen of the Ocean"

Lizzie s2 - "The Mayor of Animailia"

Scott s1 - "The Elvish Emperor"

Oli s2 - "The Bard"

Now this is probably just because Sausage (since he made it) had limited space or he was just picking emperors that were played by people participating in Misadventures as a fun little easter egg for them

BUT IN THE LORE-

Okay before I start to ramble I want to clarify some more things, the list above is just a list of people who had names on their crypts/were named in their "boss" battle (those being Shubble s1, Katherine s1, and Joey s2, as ppl who became individual bosses/enemies for the person running the crypt to fight). That being said, there is also a phase in the crypt where you have to kill several skeleton sheep, and in his episode Sausage refers the them as Blood Sheep, there is also a larger tomb labeled "The King", where the players can bring raw gold to get more dungeon loot. I'm going to infer through these two references that Sausage s1 aka the Mythland King is also in the Crypt.

Also Pearl s1, Gem s1, and Fwhip s1 all had their tombs in the same room as the "The King"'s crypt, so that is probably a room dedicated to the Wither Rose Alliance, further proving that Mythland Sausage is probably "The King".

Although she does not have a labeled tomb, False from s2 is also likely buried in the crypt, as by looking at Lizzie's mc skin history she has several recent skins with skull heads, likely used as decoration for the dungeon, one of which has False's goggles on it. (in case you're curious the other skull skins were Oli s2 (had his hat), Pix s1 (had his crown), Joey s2 (had his hat), and a 4th one that has some sort of markings on the side which i'm choosing to interpret as axolotl gills for Lizzie s1 although it's not quite clear)

Okay future me here she does have a labeled tomb it's called "Emperor of Cogsmeade" it just hadn't been shown in any of the youtube povs I watched

There is also another few crypts, those being "The Withered Man", "The Vampire", "The Protector" (which might be katherine s2?), and "The Warrior" (and the Warrior's Companion so I don't think that's Katherine as she didn't really have a dog)

So here's the list of emperors who were NOT in the crypts based on everything we've gathered;

Katherine s2

Scott s2

Sausage s2

The majority of this list is s2, which makes some sense

But I think that raises another question

How are Pearl and Sausage from s1 in the Misadventures crypts?

Pix in s2 discovered their tombs in the catacombs in empires s2

It's very possible that they were moved, but STILL

so uh yeah

just something i noticed

This post has been edited as I did leave out some ppl mb

[your-unfriendlyghost]

🌼Evie🌼

Had this drawing of her that I haven’t posted (I think) and I like it so here we are (the background is a stock image fyi I just edited it some- coulda easily done my own but man I just don’t feel like it)

Anyhow I have a few headcannons about her that’re partially for the Steviepop-Tex AU, and here feels like a good place to put ‘em- so they’re under the cut

-She used to smoke, but medical school turned her off of cigarettes.

-She never seems to remember to pick up after herself. She’s very clean- can’t stand dirt or dust- but very messy. 

-She wanted to be a model or a cowgirl back when she was a kid. She’s older now, and she’s a part-time nurse, part-time hairdresser. Deep down she still wants to be a cowgirl.

-She’s a good mechanic, but she hates the feeling of motor oil and the smell of gasoline. Not enough so to keep her from working at the DX gas station for three years, or to dislike the way grease and gasoline cling to her boyfriend, but enough to turn her off of wanting to be a mechanic as a career. Besides, she’s a girl. She doesn’t wanna work such a masculine job. She feels masculine enough as is. (it’s the 60s-70s I’m sorry lol)

-She had a crush on Soda before she met Steve. And then when she first dated Steve she thought Soda was kinda annoying and airheaded. But when she got to know him the crush came right back.

-Evie lets Ponyboy get away with everything- she’s an only child and she kinda immediately latches onto him in a sisterly sorta way. Steve hates this. So much. God he hates it.

-Her and Soda have come to the agreement that if steviepop has kids Steve’s carrying them (Steve is unaware of this conversation) (this makes no sense but they also agree that they can figure it out w/ “modern science”)

-Her mom doesn’t like Steve but does like Soda. …However, she likes how Steve has more money than Soda does.

-Her and Soda are both into horses- she learned to ride illegally in Buck Merril’s stable (Sylvia convinced her sneaking in at night was a good idea) (She’s still shocked they never got caught) (They actually did get caught- Buck just never mentioned it or stopped them)

-Sylvia was her best friend for years (sorta the Dally to her Johnny). They met at age 12, and stuck together until Evie went off to college.

-After that though, Sylvia stopped returning Evie’s calls and letters. Scared of being forgotten, Sylvia sort of self sabotaged herself. Evie still wonders what happened years later but has too much pride to reach out and ask (she cried about it to Steve for months though. Took it more seriously than a breakup.)

-Part of why she’s always been chill with the idea of Steve being bi and into Soda, even tho it’s the 60s, is that she was the only one who knew Sylvia was a lesbian.

-Really wanted to be a mod girl in high school but couldn’t really afford it. (That yellow dress I draw her in is homemade w/ Sylvia’s help)

[emeraldserenade]

Operation Kiss And Tell ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: You kiss Joaquín while on a mission to keep your cover

tw: fem!reader, reader wears a dress, none?, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

If you sent me the request that's sitting in my inbox, I promise I am working on it. Also, I had decided during class today that I would write a fic as long as the notes my professor gave out today is. It's 17 pages front and back, so I am deciding what to write. There is a poll that will be open for 1 day (starting a little after this is posted), so if you want a say go and vote.

➽──────────────❥

You and Joaquín were placed together, normally you never went undercover. You stayed in missions where you didn't have to pretend you were something else, it made you nervous to pretend. You always thought that you would ruin the mission with your inability to fake things, so when Sam told you that you had to pretend to be Joaquín's wife, you were terrified. Not of Joaquín, you could never be, but of the idea of faking something like that. Especially when you knew you were in love with Joaquín.

"Come on, it shouldn't be too hard," you mumbled to yourself as you adjusted the dress you were wearing.

"Are you talking to yourself?" Sam popped up in your door way making you yelp in surprise. Joaquín and Bucky both ended up behind Sam ready to help you.

"God, Sam, you scared the shit out of me!" You placed a hand over your heart and Bucky grumbled and left the doorway. Joaquín hung around for a little longer before leaving too.

"You didn't answer the question," Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, looking you over with a thoughtful look.

"Yes, I am talking to myself," you told him, sitting down next to him.

"Nervous?" Sam wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

"A little, yeah," you admitted, Sam ended up as your closest friend over the few months.

"Is it because you think you're going to be bad or because you're hopelessly in love with Joaquín," Sam questioned.

"I am not in love with," you paused as Joaquín walked into the room fully ready to go.

"Sure you aren't," Sam told you, not even caring that Joaquín was in the room.

"Are you ready?" Joaquín shifted his stance under both your and Sam's gaze.

"Yeah, let's go," you stood up and brushed your hands down your dress.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"I'm sorry," you muttered, knowing what you were about to do. Joaquín didn't have time to ask what you were apologizing for before your lips landed on his. Joaquín barely hesitated before he was kissing you back with just as much intensity as you.

You peaked an eye open and saw your target slowly grabbing for his gun still. In another moment of panic, you pulled Joaquín closer by his collar. You felt his hands land on your waist and pull your hips flush against his. Another peak at the target let you know he let his gun go but was still watching you two. You decided to make the most out of this and completely focused on the feel of Joaquín's lips on yours.

"We've got the guy, where are you two?" Sam's voice from your comms pulled both you and Joaquín out of the kiss. You shared a look with Joaquín before you wiped the stray lipstick on his lips away and ran for the doors. You two met up with Sam and Bucky outside where they had the buy already in police custody.

"Sorry, we got caught in the crowd," you lied, knowing Sam would question you more about it later.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Got caught in the crowd?" Sam walked into the room you were staying at, you were freshly showered and lounging in bed in just an oversized shirt.

"Shut the door," you didn't even look up from your phone when you told him.

"So what really happened?" Sam ended up on the bed next to you, you could smell his body wash wafting off his skin.

"I kissed him," you put your phone down. "And he kissed me back," you added.

"Explanation?" Sam questioned.

"I noticed that the target saw us, he was reaching for his gun so in a moment of panic I kissed him. And he kissed me back, and I pulled him closer, and he pulled me closer. And his lips are so soft, and," Sam cut you off.

"Ok, I don't think I need to know more," Sam told you and you nodded. "That explains why he's just staring into pace with a stupid love sick look on his face," Sam told you and you looked at him.

"What?" You sat up straighter.

"Yeah, ever since he got out of the shower he's just been staring at the wall with the stupidest look of love plastered on his face," Sam explained. You and Sam talked for a while before he decided he was ready for bed, leaving you alone again.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You might have been surprised when Joaquín walked into the room later that night, if it weren't for the fact that he had been coming to you after nightmares.

"Joaquín?" Your sleep filled brain made out the vague shape and look of Joaquín walking in the door.

"Hey," he gently greeted you before just slipping into the bed. Unlike the other nights, he hesitates to pull you closer to him.

"You ok?" You gently questioned, aware of how late it is.

"Yeah, just," Joaquín sighed and you got worried. "Did the kiss mean anything to you? I know you kissed me because of the target spotting us but," Joaquín trailed off and you smiled at him.

"Joaquín, that kiss meant so much to me," you admitted, he finally pulled you flush against him so you two could cuddle into each other's side.

"Good because it meant so much to me too," he told you and there was a silent agreement that whatever you two were going to do about this, you would do it together.

➽──────────────❥

Masterlist | Requests

[rapz-rites]

Edit

Damian Wayne x Reader

For someone big on social media, you would’ve never expected this side of it, and love it

A/N: … So… I'm in college… idk how consistently ill be able to post. I thought I could do every week but ig that's not possible for me as I'm taking 6 classes 😭 My goal is to post at least once a month to put something out. That highlighted part is from when I had about 85% of this done MONTHS ago. And I'm finishing this during spring break 2025, and mind you this was asked September 2, 2023… IM SO SORRY 😭

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warning(s): none I think…

As someone with almost 100 million followers across several social media platforms, to say you’re relatively active is an understatement. You’re practically always working. As a part-time college student, it took a while for you to find a good balance.

You would post at least 2 YouTube videos every month, usually vlogs, TikTok’s every few days, sometimes a few days straight if you have enough content, an Instagram post every now and then, and posting on Twitter and Snapchat are rare unless something big is happening. On top of that, you have a monthly performance meeting with your team. You talk about how your engagement has been and ways to increase it. At the last meeting, they thought you could reply to more comments and videos you’ve been tagged in.

~

You were chilling with Titus on Damian’s bed, knowing well that Titus isn’t allowed on the bed, waiting for him to return from Patrol. After almost 3 years of dating, it has become routine for the two of you at this point. After editing and posting for the day, you would spend the night at the manor, and the next day you had off, you spent it with friends/Damian.

As you were waiting you took it upon yourself to scroll through comments and videos you’ve been tagged in. While scrolling through the comments of a video you posted of you and Damian doing one of those game interviews, you saw a comment that confused you.

Wifeofyn: I can see the edits already 😃

Edits? Like the ones you would see when a new movie or show came out? Due to the people you follow and the type of content you and them post, you rarely ever see them. And you never spent enough time on your for you page to get them either, so you searched it

Search: Y/n edits

You scrolled and scrolled. You were completely mesmerized as you watched the TikTok edits of yourself for the first time. You watched in amazement as you saw how people turned your everyday life into something straight out of a movie, albeit you have made cameos in movies before and had some minor roles but it was nothing like this. You got so caught up in the videos, your excitement bubbling over, that you lost track of time and everything else around you. You didn’t even notice Titus had gotten off the bed and went to sleep in his and Damian had returned from patrol.

It’s only when you feel the bed shift and see Damian lying next to you, freshly showered and awaiting your attention, that you realize he’s back. You realized that he’s probably been watching, and most likely studying, you for God knows how long.

He saw the excitement in your eyes every time you watched an edit. He heard your laughs as people used funny or sarcastic things you’ve said before in intros of edits. Of course you thought they were hilarious, no one was funnier than you… He even saw when you rolled over on your stomach and started kicking your feet in the air when you discovered the couple edits your fans made of you and Damian. You snap out of your TikTok trance with a start, your face flushed. You turn to him with an apologetic smile, eager to share your newfound excitement about the edits.

Over the next few days, you spend some of your spare time watching edits. It didn’t matter where you were, on the toilet, in the car, at a cafe. You LOVED them.

It had been a few days since you had “discovered" the edits of yourself. You’ve been commenting and “reposting and sharing the edits you’ve seen.

~

Secretlifeof_y/n started a live: Revolutionary Discovery

You look at your phone and watch as the number of viewers is increasing.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna let more people join before we get started”

Y/n_lover: omg your reposts

You continued to see comments come in regarding your reposts on TikTok.

“Wow! 10 thousand people in less than 15 minutes”

ButtercupBriii: is it me or has she not been on live in a minute

777.Marley: @ButtercupBriii no you’re right it’s been like 3 weeks

You read more comments of people agreeing that you haven’t been on live as much. That was the whole reason you were on live now.

“Now that we have more people in here, HIIIII!”

You watch as comments flood in of people greeting you and asking many questions. In the back, the viewers can see that you're in Wayne Manor, as you have gone live there several times before, and Stephanie is searching for something in the pantry.

“I’m trying to read all the comments coming in but you guys are too fast,” you say as your eyes skim the bottom of your phone screen. Accidentally letting out a snort, you slap your hand over your mouth. “Someone said Stephanie in the back looking for food is giving big back. Yall are evil !”

Stephanie pops her head out of the pantry giving the camera a confused look. “They said what about me?”

She walks to you with a large metal mixing bowl filled with baking supplies. You move the camera back so she can place the items onto the counter while also giving the camera a greater view of your surrounding area. Noticing candy in the bowl that you know she got for the two of you to snack on, you opt not to say anything about it. You clap your hands together while standing straight and slightly popping your hips out.

“Okay guys. Today Steph and I are,” You start. Stephanie moves close to you and in unison the two of you enthusiastically state “Baking brownies!!”

“So,” you start. “While we’re mixing everything, neither of us will be able to read comments so we’re just gonna talk, and while the brownies are baking we can chit-chat.”

As you and Stephanie pour ingredients into the mixing bowl and mix them, you talk about how the night you first saw the edits of yourself. You explain how you saw a comment referring to them and got curious, prompting you to search “Y/N edits”. That’s how you ended up with over 50 reposts of edits of yourself and various friends and family.

You pour the mixture into a flat pan and Stephanie goes to put it in the oven. While Stephanie does that you start reading comments aloud to answer.

“Who’s my favorite editor? Wifeofyn. But yn_lover is up there too.”

You and Stephanie continued answering the comments until you heard voices from the foyer. Sure enough, it was your boyfriend and his brothers returning from one of their excursions. You could listen to them bickering, which was normal, considering that's how they communicated 70% of the time.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your boyfriend as he and his brothers walked into the kitchen. Everyone started getting comfortable, especially Dick with the camera. You move towards the back of the kitchen with Damian. He wraps his arms around you from behind and you instinctively relax into his embrace. You let your head fall back while he nestles his nose into your neck, inhaling your scent.

“You smell delicious,” your boyfriend mumbles into your shoulder. You couldn’t help but giggle at him, “I smell like flour.”

“You still smell good.”

The two of you remained in the same spot and position for several moments in silence. It was moments like these you loved: in Damian’s arm, in a comfortable silence, watching life happen.

You notice Jason is staying away from the camera. This peaking your interest, you question him. As you’re asking Jason about his seeming distaste for the camera, Damian kisses the side of your head as he let’s to know he’s going to retire to his room for the night.

“I’m not getting in frame because people will make edits and every single one you see you’ll send it to me and next thing you know I have 42 edits of myself to watch” Jason states.

You gasped, acting offended, but you knew he was right. You also knew people were probably editing this live. You rolled your eyes at him and walked back to Stephanie, who was downing some brownies with Tim and your phone.

“Guys so the brownies are done and I miss Damian so I’m going to bring him some. I promise to go live again soon,” you finish off by blowing a kiss to your viewers.

LIVE ENDED

Tag List:

@firephoenix2020

@devotedlyshadowytheorist

@Manonptv

@inmymonologue

@Findingnolia

@thereal5limshady

@blackrockshooter780

@lillian-morningstar

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist!

Hope you enjoyed this and so sorry it’s late to the person who requested it

[purplesimmer455]

That night, Piper and Cam head to the Rouge Note in Nordhaven. I gave Piper this super cute outfit from the pack that's more for cold weather but I had her wear it to the lounge. Plus, Cam got the new leather jacket and fits her like a glove. I have to be honest, I played these past 3 or 4 Piper and Cam posts in the course of two sim days, (Friday and Saturday) and I had fun just exploring the new pack. This is messed up, but I was wary because my game was running more smoothly than usual and I was almost waiting for it to crash with that kinda horrified anticipation whenever it would freeze a little, but weirdly enough it didn’t and I just saved a bunch in case. 👀😅

Anyway, Piper and Cam reach the lounge and head to the bar. Neither of them drink alcohol much, and Piper doesn’t like hangovers or having her head feel fuzzy, so Cam orders a round of root beer floats. She and Piper make small talk with a man named Crispin Black, who works as an art critic. Crispin is aloof but polite enough, and answers their questions about Nordhaven. He tells them about the lounge downstairs, and they finish their drinks and head down the steps, where it’s a more intimate and cozy vibe with a sim named Zain playing the piano.

While Piper goes to watch Zain play, Cam sits down on an armchair and relaxes. She’s pleasantly surprised when she sees a familiar face, and calls out “Auntie Is! Hey!” Her auntie turns, and a wide smile breaks out on her face. “Hey Cammy, what are you doing here?” She says, getting up to hug her niece. “Pipes and I came here to check out the lounge and chill. What about you?” Cam asks as they sit back down. “I’m here to visit my friend Dahlia. She runs this nice coffee shop with her wife and family.” Iseul says, and Cam nods. She’s not too surprised by that, her auntie Iseul travels a lot and makes friend anywhere she goes.

Piper comes back over and she greets and hugs Iseul too, who asks how she and her family are doing while Cam goes over to the piano. Plus, Piper shows off the floral tattoo she got for Cam. “It’s beautiful, Pipes. I’m sure Cammy appreciates it too.” Iseul says, and Piper nods. “Cam loves it,” she says bashfully, and Iseul grins. “It’s sweet, and you two are such a good and solid couple, it makes me happy for you both. When I was your age, I almost got a tattoo for a woman named Robin* that I was casually dating.” She says, and Piper nods. “Thankfully, I never did. Robin got involved in some petty theft and went a route I wasn’t willing to go, and I realized I was more in lust than love with her. But that aside, I think the tattoo looks good and it’ll be something meaningful between you two.” Iseul finishes and Piper gives Iseul a teasing grin for the story before nodding. “I know, and thanks auntie Is.” She says.

Piper, Cam, and Iseul head back upstairs, and Iseul smiles as she sits next to her niece at the bar. “You look very cheerful lately. Is it because you have auntie Megan on your mind?” Cam teases. She grins mischievously as Iseul’s cheeks turn pink. “What? No, I’m just happy to be here and enjoying time with you and Pipes.” Iseul says, and Cam laughs. “Sure, Iseul.” She teases again and Iseul shakes her head but laughs too. “Okay, fine. Maybe I am thinking of her.” Iseul says, her eyes warm. “Not that I ever stop thinking of Megs.” She adds softly, and Cam smiles. “I know, auntie. Teasing aside, it’s sweet and I’m happy for you guys.” She adds, and Iseul smiles.

Edit: *it’s a Robin that’s newly added with a patch, yet infamous in the sims already. 👀😄

[artisiumstudios]

I have an AU called A Better World For Stan that I am writing, and like, I decided to symbolize that the characters are kind of the "inversion" of how they are in canon by inverting the color that represents them in their clothes like, Caryn dress Cyan, Filbrick dress Blue, Older Brother Shermie dress Vermilion, Teen Ford dress Blue. What do you think?

To anon, my apologies that it took this long to respond (Also I was going to respond to the first one but I accidently deleted the first part on my phone, THANKFULLY I also had it pulled up on my computer so I could just take a picture (dont ask why its not a SS) But anyways

Edit: nope I’m just dumb and didn’t realize I posted the other, not deleted but anyways🤦🏻‍♀️

I LOVE THE IDEA!

Also I think this is one of the few AU's where ive heard shermie being described as indifferent/aloof brother! A lot of people (including myself) usually write him as either being the baby or even having him be someone who was drafted into the war, or just simply trying to escape his abusive household and start his own family. But I like the idea that perhaps his fathers influence had a bigger impact on him that caused him to feel indifferent to his siblings.

now with that said-

A MODERN AU? Does this mean he is currently living somewhere in present time (or around the time dipper and mabel are from? If so, does this mean he'll have to get accustomed to modern technology? (meaning he has access to the internet and oh look he has daddy issues not a surprise-)

Is Ford still really into anomalies? Will he assume Stan is some kind of anomaly or will he believe that he's from an AU? How will their parents react to Ford bringing in Stan?

I can just imagine Stan's freaking out because if these versions of his parents are any similar to his, Filbrick will not be amused and he doesn't think he can handle being kicked out again.

"Ford are you su-"

The bell of the pawn shop rings as they step inside. Sitting in front of the register is Filbrick, newspaper covering his face.

"Ya back?" He asl, his voice still stoic as always, setting Stan's nervousness through the roof.

"Yup! And look who I brought!" Ford announces excitedly as he grasps Stan's hand preventing him from leaving anywhere.

The newspaper is dropped onto the table as Filbrick stares at Stan, his eyebrows slightly raised in surprise, "Well, that's something new." he stands up, the stair squeaking against the old wood making Stanley flinch. His hands shakes as his father makes his way over, his signature sunglasses helping hide any emotion.

"Uh- I" Stanley stammers looking for an opening or anything to-

"What's your name champ?" Filbrick asks. The nickname causing Stanley's brain to short-circuit. It endearing, so unlike his father. Its tone isn't filled with venom but rather patience, its not demeaning, meant to bring out insecurities or hurt. It's a nickname he's heard other dad's call their son; one he's always hoped to hear.

"It-it's Stanley, sir." e cringes at the stuttering.

"Stanley? HA!" now Stan's really surprised. Laughter, his father is laughing and not in disbelief but a full hearted laugh filled with joy, "How peculiar, me and my wife-"

"My wife and I-" Ford interrupts and now Stan truly is shocked because no one interrupts Pa without getting backhanded but here is Ford standing proudly and almost smugly as Pa just huffs playfully.

"My wife and I, were actually considering that name for a long time. Twins run in our family so we thought that if this one had one we would have named them Stanley and Stanford."

Ford leans over, his hand covering his mouth as he whispers, "They are not the most creative when it comes to names."

"Hey!" Pa roared, "I heard that twerp!"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

And he's not wrong but this is because why is this Pa so loving and caring and- oh. He's crying. Before he knows it he's enveloped in a bone crushing hug being asked if he's okay, the tremors worsen because this is all he's ever hoped for and he doesn't remember the last time his father ever hugged him. He's crying and everything is so wrong and he feels guilty but it also feels right.

Anyways-

I thought about how Ford would find Stanley and what better way than to be on the beach exploring when he finds him and offers to bring him home to clean him up. And Stan who's still dazed agrees without thinking only to realize that his parents must be hope and all of this to happen because holy shit what is going on?!

Also I love color symbolism! Especially because blue can signify calmness, serenity, trust, and stability-- something Stan's OG Filbrick isn't-- but can also represent sadness or depression (maybe this FIlrbick is more opened about his emotions and is much more encouraging of the kids to speak about their feelings and maybe even encourages them to actually seek professional help if they need to. Also I'm a sucker for Audhd Stan so perhaps he can even get a proper diagnosis?)

Cyan is often shown to represent serenity and mental clarity, maybe this means Caryn is more present in her children's life and perhaps is an actual psychic (or if you have the headcanon that she might be one, perhaps in this AU her powers are more present! And perhaps that's why FIlbrick, Ford, or Caryn aren't shocked with Stan appearing.)

But overall I love this idea and I hope you post more about it! And please tag me so I can see it!

(side note because I must know, does OGFord ever find out what happened to Stan? Does he tell their parents? Will they even believe him or do they just decide to believe that he's dead? Do they hold a funeral? What if OGFord still summon bill but instead of being to find out why weirdness travels to GF, it's to find his brother! What if he still falls through the portal? Does he doom his world and is left to travel the multi-verse, or does he still have a home to come back to? Does he eventually find Stan and tries to convince him to return? Does Stan even want to return? So many questions but anyways-)

[sweetiesicheng]

yunho - survival show

word count : 601

happy yunho day ~

-

“thank you team moonlight for your performance,” the emcee says after interviewing the team. “now, online voting will—“

you write some notes on your papers and look over at your fellow judges. some of them start discussing the trainees and the performances that just happened. 

“these three were good performances. this one was the best in my opinion,” you state your opinion. 

“all of this team improved a lot. i didn’t expect them to change their ambiance like that,” one of the other judges says, holding up a paper with the profiles of one of the groups. 

“all of them did a good job, but the second performance is still my number one for the night,” yunho mentions. 

all of the judges continue discussing the different contestants. after some discussion, the judges’s choices are finalized and online voting have settled. 

everyone waits for the rankings to be posted, but it’s time for a break within the filming. some of the judges get up to stretch their legs. 

you sigh and continue sitting. you look over your notes about the various trainees that stood out from the performances. 

“you okay?” 

you look up and see yunho standing next to you. he crouches down and looks at the papers in your lap. 

“sorry about your trainee,” he says. 

there are a couple of trainees from your company, who are participating in the show. unfortunately, one of them was eliminated last episode and another one is low on the ranking. 

“they’re hard workers. they’ll get back in the game soon,” you reply. “the performances were really good today,” you comment. 

yunho nods, “yea, i really liked team two’s performance. they covered the song really well.” he holds his hand out, indicating he wants your papers. you hand them to him, and he flips to a couple of pages. “this kid, they practice day and night. i helped them out a couple of times with their choreography,” he mentions, pointing to someone’s photo. 

“think they’re gonna get a higher ranking?” you ask him. 

“they better. the kid deserves it,” he says before leaning in, “but the editing in the first episode was definitely against them,” he adds with a whisper. 

“i noticed that too with some of them. they really want drama broadcasted, huh?” you reply. 

“y/n, can we do some touch ups?” a makeup artist asks, walking up to you and yunho. 

“oh, sure,” you reply and sit up. 

“i’ll come back,” yunho says to you before standing up and walking back to his seat. 

—

after the recording ends for the night, you sigh while getting into the van with yunho’s manager waiting in the driver’s seat. 

“everything go okay today?” the manager asks. 

“could be better,” you reply. 

after a few minutes, yunho gets into the van. “sorry, some of the trainees wanted to talk,” he says. 

“it’s all good. let’s get you two home,” his manager says to both of you and starts driving once yunho is buckled up. 

“you okay?” yunho asks, reaching over to hold your hand. 

you shrug, “i guess. i feel sad every time trainees are eliminated.”

“i know. it is sad,” yunho replies, “but we’ll probably see most of them at music shows one day anyways.”

“i sure hope so,” you reply, “i’ll be their number one supporters when they debut.”

“hey,” he starts, “i thought you were my number one supporter?”

“you’re slacking. the trainees are doing better than you,” you say and stick your tongue out at him for a second. 

he rolls his eyes but smiles afterwards, “i’ll listen to your critiques, judge.”