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homespork-review · 5 years ago

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Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 1)

BRIGHT: Before Act 3 proper starts, we see a message from Nanna to John, written in the front of the Sassacre’s joke book from Dad’s safe. The message is somewhat bizarre. For one thing, according to Nanna, the book it’s written in will end its journey on the day she dies...and still carry on for a while. For another, it talks about game elements we’ve encountered already, and hints at more to come. Overall it’s a nice bit of detail, enough to whet the reader’s interest.

You are no doubt reading this as a handsome and strapping young man! Why, the mangrit needed to lift the book is itself a sign of your maturity, not even to speak of the wisdom needed to grasp the nuance of Sassacre's time-tested mischief. I am so proud of you, grandson! How I wish I could have delivered this heirloom to you in the flesh. But I am afraid it wasn't in the cards! For you see, John, like you, this book must yet take a journey! Its journey will end on the Final Day of my life, and even then will continue some. Though I suppose that will be up to your Father. Perhaps he will discuss it with you one day, when he and you are ready. But it is your journey I am writing about to wish you luck! There will come a day when you will be thrust into another world. And once you arrive, that is only the beginning! You will soon delve even deeper into a realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse. A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend. John, if only you knew how important you were! I regret my passing came so early in your life. And yet I feel in my heart we have already met. But what I know for sure is that we will meet again! Until then, John, I do hope your Father keeps you well fed!

FAILURE ARTIST: As I said earlier, Hussie has artfully defaced books, including one antique one about an expedition around the world. Defaced books show up again in this comic.

CHEL: Particularly, it implies that Nanna also had knowledge of the game during her lifetime, somehow, and refers to the gathering of four heroes. This is our first introduction to the classpect system, which now rivals Hogwarts houses as a method of personality description in fandom at large. I think at the time I didn’t realise who it was referring to… Anyway.

Next, we officially meet GG, the fourth and final member of our gang, a “silly girl” with a cheery grin, sleeping in a greenhouse full of vegetables and spirograph-shaped flowers. Since she’s sleeping and can’t object, she’s referred to for a while as FARMSTINK BUTTLASS, but she’s way ahead of us; under her hand is a note admonishing the reader and declaring her actual name to be Jade Harley. I think she’s the cutest of the kids, myself - just seeing her first appearance makes me happy! All its weaknesses aside, Homestuck’s pretty great at creating painfully cute character designs and attaching a good range of personalities to them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade Harley was considered a “Mary Sue” when she was first introduced. I don’t know why. Yeah, she has a lot of eccentricities and unusual possessions but so do the other characters.

Farmstink is a reference to an old comic Hussie did about this dude obsessed with the stink of farms. Hussie’s early work is really weird.

CHEL: The reader attempts to wake Jade by dropping a pumpkin carved with an animal’s face on her head, but the pumpkin disappears; as we know, WV now has it. Fortunately for the pacing, Jade wakes up on her own. Look closely, and you’ll notice the symbol on her shirt changes each page; that turns out a bit later to be due to her hi-tech WARDROBIFIER. If I recall correctly, Hussie intended to settle on one chosen by reader vote, but ended up on a cycle of three different ones.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade settles on three icons to appear on her shirt. However, eventually just one icon stays on her shirt. The WARDROBIFIER doesn’t get much use with her, though a later character has the same thing.

CHEL: Jade is also wearing COLORFUL REMINDERS on her fingers, and when the view pans out it’s revealed by the view from the window that her GARDEN ATRIUM is on a high floor. She plays the flute badly for a while in a Flash game; apparently it’s not her preferred instrument. Also fortunately for the pacing, we think, she knows how to use her sylladex, and prefers to set its retrieval function in the form of a memory game because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try! On checking her reminders, she remembers to wish John happy birthday, gathers some fruit, and heads upstairs by means of a teleporter.

Jade’s bedroom proves to be full of various disturbing-looking plushies, albeit not nearly as disturbing as the Smuppets, hanging baskets and potted plants, a bass guitar, and G-rated furry artwork, including a piece obviously drawn by Dave. Franchises depicted in her toy and poster collections include GREEN SLIME GHOST (the apparent copyright-friendly source of John’s T-shirt and pogo ride), MANTHRO CHAPS (mustachioed human faces on plush animal bodies), and SQUIDDLES (adorable octopi with magnets in their bellies which stick together as Tangle Buddies!). Her favoured weapons are rifles, though she would never shoot an animal, and she has various gadgets on a worktable, including a thing that looks like a disconnected window not unlike those shown in Rose’s book, which she apparently hasn’t been able to get to work.

FAILURE ARTIST: Manthro Chaps is a reference to Hussie’s particularly disturbing set of comics where he plays around with anthropomorphization. Like having an anthro chicken man lay anthro eggs.

CHEL: The comic in question, Humanimals, can be found here; warnings for extreme body horror and general grossness.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade is told by a forum prompter to Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again. Jade refuses to in a beautiful little speech but she denies she’s a furry. Oh, if she only knew what was coming for her.

Jade looks out the window and we find out she lives somewhere next to a volcano.

CHEL: The very same one which appeared in the animation at the end of the last act, in fact.

Your grandfather is a WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE. He has taught you everything you know.

Grandpa is heavily coded here and in his appearance a bit later as a Great White Hunter, an upper-class European guy who goes to faraway countries in order to shoot the animals there. Of course, non-white people can certainly do that, but white is what people will immediately picture upon seeing the trope. Also note we have another ridiculously wealthy family here. Since all four of the kids have now been introduced and we’ve had a lot of WSP points from their races and financial statuses already, here we get another HOW NOT TO point as well.

The Country Club Here every single character is white and middle-to-upper class. Unless your novel is taking place in rural Sweden, this will eventually give the reader the eerie feeling that some form of ethnic cleansing has taken place. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 7

One could argue that some form of ethnic cleansing is taking place, since these are the kids who are surviving the apocalypse, though that’s not actually fair because there are plenty of other SBurb sessions all across the world which might also succeed.

Jade opens her GADGET CHEST and produces several more items pertaining to her interests, including her computer, which she keeps in a Squiddles lunchbox. Several fortune-telling items are included among them, but according to Jade they are not the source of her abilities. The Magic 8-Ball is apparently usually wrong, responding to being asked whether it’s John’s birthday today with NOT EXACTLY, and the Magic Cue Ball is supposedly always right but is impossible to read, making it completely useless.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s another Problem Sleuth reference (or rather Problem Sooth) but what’s important is the Magic Cue Ball. Unlike her Magic 8-Ball, it has no window where one can read the prediction. If only Jade had a special vision. Perhaps an eightfold vision.

Jade goes to feed BEC. She has some sylladex trouble until she finally just takes a steak out of her fridge.

CHEL: Once again, the sylladex shenanigans waste several pages.

GET ON WITH IT!: 9

Bec’s identity is as yet unknown, but recall that Dave called him a “devilbeast” in an earlier conversation, and when he suggested shooting Bec Jade said she didn’t think she could if she tried. He also apparently eats nothing but steaks (lucky Grandpa’s a billionaire), so Jade is living on an island with apparently minimal supervision from her guardian and an allegedly dangerous carnivore running wild outside. Like Dave, at this point it seems to be very lucky she’s a cartoon character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Using a special oven she irradiates the steak. Umm, I think Bec can take that but I worry about Jade.

Jade finds and plays her elaborate bass and she’s much better at it than with the flute. During the flash, the camera pulls out and we find out where she lives: in a tower on a small volcanic island with a frog temple in the lagoon. An airplane goes by and drops a package.

Jade uses her super high-tech “lunchtop” to have a conversation with John. Nothing special about that but we see on her chumroll a bunch of unfamiliar handles. Hmm.

CHEL: The unfamiliar handles are listed in the “Trollslum”, which one presumes is a blocklist. I think you have to see just how hi-tech the lunchtop is:

"Jade: Get down to business." (Watch on YouTube)

Hussie’s really coming into his own with the animations by now.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has sent her some messages begging her to wake up and unfortunately one line has the f-slur in it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 7

In the end, he decides she’ll probably forget what he says.

CHEL: Begging her to wake up” doesn’t exactly cover it.

TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything

Apparently Jade sometimes talks to him while she’s sleeping.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a little flash where you can listen to some of Dave’s tunes. When you’re done with that, you can join her in looking at mspadventures.com. A crude John wearing a wizard hat is sitting on his lawn with the caption

It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

What the hell is going on here? Is Jade reading what John is doing right now?

CHEL: I think it’s just a fourth wall joke, but it’s certainly accurate, considering our GET ON WITH IT count.

FAILURE ARTIST: Next, we get this flash called Midnight Crew: Act 1031. If you are watching it in 2019, the song playing is Dead Shuffle by Mark Hadley. However, the song was originally Nightlife by Bill Bolin. Unfortunately, Bolin had a dispute with Hussie over Hussie using music that Bolin considered WIP. Bolin blew up and called Hussie “unprofessional” and in a very professional move posted a photo of himself giving the double deuce. It’s a shame this happened since Nightlife is a jauntier and more appropriate tune.

CHEL: The Midnight Crew, to be specific, are gangsters with card-themed names who bear a striking resemblance to WV, living in a mysterious purple city full of towers, pitted against the Felt, another gang of odd-looking green fellows who wear bowler hats with numbers on them, in the colour schemes of a set of pool balls.

Hussie did make reference in the previous page to a “weird tangential intermission [which] clearly advanced the plot in no way whatsoever”, implying that it actually is relevant, and the purple city and its shiny black beady-eyed inhabitants look very familiar, but since as far as we know at this point the Midnight Crew is just a comic-within-a-comic, you know which counts get added to.

GET ON WITH IT!: 10 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2

Just for the record, the leader of the gang is named Spades Slick, and yes, we’re aware that “spade” is a slur against black people, which makes it slightly unfortunate to be applied as a name to a black-shelled alien creature. However, we’re not counting that as PROBLEMATYKKS because Hussie and the Crew’s original writer certainly did not intend that. It’s not that commonly used a term from what I’ve seen, the playing cards would be the more likely immediate association, and with the other characters being Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Diamonds Droog, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. If he was a black human, then I’d object more strenuously.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade talks with Dave (I think the conversation is a repeat?)

CHEL: Yep.

GET ON WITH IT!: 11

FAILURE ARTIST: Finally, we get the flash we’ve been waiting for: Dave strifes with his mysterious guardian. Or rather, he strifes with Lil Cal while Bro is a speed blur.

BRIGHT: Unlike the other strifes up to this point, the reader can’t do anything other than watch, because Bro slices the command box in half right at the start.

TIER: In the world of Homestuck, the parental units are overall just really weird! Like dad Egbert severe overabundance of cakes and mom Lalonde's drunken dysfunction. It's overall all hilarious, fitting with the tone and humor of the story well!

But then we have our lovely outlier. The one, the hated, The. Bro “a huge bastard honestly” Strider! A.K.A basically the one guardian whose questionable parenting gets the Real Consequences treatment later on in this tale. Peculiar that.

CHEL: Now, under most circumstances, an adult man beating the hell out of a barely-teenage kid, on the precarious rooftop of a high-rise building no less, would be horrifying. However, Bro chooses to hit Dave with his puppet, which… is frankly hard to take seriously. Obviously it would still hurt if a real person did that, but it looks so stupid that the immediate assumption is that it’s a joke.

BRIGHT: Particularly when earlier strife moves like Rose’s ‘Empty Suicide Threat’ were intended to be humorous. This is about on the same level as that, in terms of severity!

TIER: Being smacked around by the flopping noodle limbs of a freaky puppet is honestly hard to take seriously. Hell, this entire sequence is chock full of outlandish “Rule of Cool” bullshit and I am Peeved that I was apparently supposed to look at this sequence of ridiculous events and go “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE”.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 7

CHEL: I could kinda see that with hindsight from the rest of the comic, but definitely not “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A LOT MORE FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE THAN THE OTHER AWFUL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES”, which is what was apparently intended. And we also get another HOW NOT TO point, which we’ll give now even though the official “reveal” comes much later.

A Novel Called It - wherein an abusive parent exists Bad parents are everywhere in unpublished fiction. Whole cities of abusive fathers and sneering mothers live in the pages of books that can’t be sold. While occasionally, and notably in the horror genre, this sort of material can be made good (Carrie, V. C. Andrews), most cruel parents in fiction are just as much fun as they are in real life. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14

That damn puppet gets creepier every time, admittedly, more so now that Bro is moving so fast that the thing appears to be dancing on Dave’s head under its own power. Dave’s expressions look more annoyed than afraid or hurt, however, in my opinion.

FAILURE ARTIST: Anyway, we go back to Jade. Rose is pestering her.

TT: I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. TT: Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?

Very business-like, isn’t it? Rose and Jade’s relationship is a big missed opportunity in this comic. They’re more like friends-of-friends than friends.

CHEL: I don’t know, that sounds to me like how Rose talks to the boys too; facetiously formal. Still, they don’t converse nearly as much as the boys do with each other or them. Male writers in particular tend to do this, and it’s not entirely their faults. People are socialised to think women talk a lot more than they do, so he probably didn’t notice.

TIER: A real shame honestly, we were fucking robbed of some peak interactions between a sunshine flower child and a “dark and brooding” baby goth. Fucking. Robbed.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out that Jade was the one who had the idea of playing Sburb. She had told Rose that the game would answer some of Rose’s unnamed questions. Rose wants more information on this Big Day. Jade says the game will not be what Rose thinks it is and will answer questions Rose hasn’t thought of yet. On that mysterious note, Jade says goodbye.

CHEL: We check in briefly with Rose in the present, confirming that she’s found the secret passage and is escaping the fire, bringing the corpse of her cat along with her, then to John, who is doing much worse. The ogres (the giant tusked imps) have cornered him, and while he flails frantically about with his Pogo Hammer it doesn’t do much good. They beat the snot out of him with the old Sassacre book and the tire swing, then send him flying into the abyss; fortunately, Nannasprite is able to catch him on his bed and provide healing, allowing him to flail uselessly at the ogres again and get beaten up again, ad infinitum.

Back in the desert, a giant worm-like creature emerges from PM’s bunker and chows down on the cart full of mailboxes. PM is displeased, and puts a hand on the hilt of an ornate black sword.

Cut back to the FAQ, which John has found time to edit with information about the punch card system. He doesn’t know if anyone is left alive to play the game, but Rose asked him to add to it, so he will. He’s figured out with his 133t h4x0r 5k1llz that the captcha code on the back of the cards is converted into a binary-based pattern on the cards, 0 being blank and 1 being a punched hole. Overlapping the cards functions like a bitwise AND operation, causing both to be enacted. The 48-hole card system allows for 300 trillion combinations, but John lampshades the fact that this couldn’t possibly cover every conceivable captchable item, and that various combinations of overlapping cards would just produce the same combination. This is just adding to my conviction that the system ought to be reworked; the totems alone would probably allow for a much wider range, if one gets down to the atomic level of their shape. Then again, those would be a lot harder to merge… Still, I’m sure there’s some way to work it.

BRIGHT: This section was kind of surprising to me because up to this point we haven’t had much if any description of John being into coding, so the section came out of left field somewhat. Not bad, necessarily, just jarring.

CHEL: Actually, he did mention in his intro that he likes to program, albeit not very well, he had some coding books on his shelves, and the icons on his computer are named in a way which implies they’re some of his attempts at coding. However, this interest never really comes up again later that I remember.

Meanwhile, the secret passage Rose followed led to her mother’s laboratory, which bears the logo “SN” with a stylised atom and a spirograph pattern in the loops of the S. It seems Mom Lalonde knows more than she’s letting on about the game. Inside the laboratory is an enormous HUBGRID of devices into which the laptop can be plugged.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose uses that ol’ r-slur when she says she won’t go on the pad so that’s another point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 8

CHEL: Jade uses the TRANSPORTALIZER to travel most of the way down to the ground floor, but not all the way down because the one on that floor is blocked. As she walks down the last couple of flights of stairs, we see Grandpa’s own collections of stuff; taxidermised animal heads, suits of armour, mummified corpses (made by pasting in photographs to the cartoon background, it’s creepy as hell), and his BLUE BEAUTIES, or the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA; sun-bleached portrait photographs of beautiful women. On the final floor, we are confronted with the thing blocking the final portal; a gigantic preserved monster with a white head and green serpentine body. It took me till just now to figure it out but I think the white part is supposed to be a human torso on the snake tail; at first it just looked like a snake wearing a stocking mask. That’s what happens when the humans don’t have arms.

Jade thought she had logged off from Pesterchum, but suddenly it pings again, and here we are introduced to an entirely new section of the cast. We’re probably not spoiling anything by not being mysterious about them at this point in the fandom’s history, but just in case, we’ll stick to doing the reveals when the comic does. The person talking to Jade is one of the names from her TROLLSLUM, under the handle carcinoGeneticist; they gloat about being “BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU, FOREVER” when asked how they’re still contacting Jade after being blocked, and mock her about today being “FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP”. Angry, Jade blocks them again.

FAILURE ARTIST: I had forgotten that “they” appeared so early.

CHEL: Well, “appear” is stretching it; the TROLLSLUM only make contact through Pesterchum for a while yet. And when they show up, we’ll have both plenty of skilfully-written points to pick out and plenty of counts to apply.

#Homespork #homestuck #literary critique #sporking #Let's read #let's read homestuck #homestuck let's read #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread

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dedicatedfollower467 · 5 years ago

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i can’t believe homestuck 2 legitimately makes me want to re-read THE FUCKING EPILOGUES

why the fuck do i want to re-read the epilogues??????

the answer is because now i think i might actually understand the point that is being made about the relationship between authorship and authority, and now that i know that’s what they’re about and that they’re not like. supposed to be satisfying conclusion of character arcs, or even about the characters at all. i might actually enjoy them more?

(this got really long so i’m putting the rest under a cut because uh. turns out i have a lot to fucking say about the homestuck epilogues)

reading the homestuck epilogues the first time around was like reading fucking Waiting for Godot and expecting it to be a wacky feel-good buddy comedy, which is to say, sure, there’s some funny joke-y moments but like. you’re going to be severely disappointed my dude.

i was genuinely expecting the epilogues to be character-driven story arcs with a coherent, satisfying plotline that made me feel good about the end. like i thought we were going to see the conclusion of the beta kids’ arcs while they fought LE in a thematic way. i thought we were gonna get to see terezi find vriska. i thought we might even get to see karkat do the bloody thing. i thought they were going to be STORIES.

And that absolutely, positively, 100% was NOT what they were, and was not the fucking point of them? so i just completely misread them. like, legitimately the main reason i was so disappointed was because i went into them with a set of expectations that did not line up at ALL with what the epilogues actually were.

and it hurt and it sucked to see all these characters tortured and twisted into unrecognizable shapes. like watching jane turn into a fascist and rapist, and jade become a vapid, overbearing ass, and rose just fall apart, and john driven deeper and deeper into depression, and just nearly everyone becoming completely ooc, it all HURT. it hurt REALLY BAD.

i also project hard onto the strider boys, so watching dirk especially become a literal villain really really fucking hurt. like, i am not gonna lie here, dirk’s face-heel turn in meat and suicide in candy legitimately contributed to my depression for a little while there. i wrote a fucking comic about how bad it hurt.

and gamzee’s whole “redemption” bullshit in candy absolutely made it worse. it felt like hussie himself was deliberately spitting on me, erienne mccray, in particular, for liking a narrative where someone with bad tendencies becomes a good person, by making a choice every day to be better. it felt like a fucking assault.

but like. that wasn’t actually the point of the epilogues. practically none of the actual content of either epilogue is actually the point.

because the epilogues aren’t about story content, they’re about story format. they are explicitly trying to get the reader to think about the idea of narrative, as a concept, and authorship as the final arbiter of canon.

dirk’s not an inherently bad or villainous person, it’s just that hussie needed an antagonist author within the story to take control of the narrative, and dirk was easy to convert given exactly who his splinter selves are. dirk is a villain because in homestuck, the author is a villain, and dirk is the author because the premise idea required someone within the narrative taking control of it, because hussie and LE theoretically can’t reach beyond the boundaries of homestuck canon.

(and holy shit it just occurred to me that might be why andrew hussie isn’t actually writing this content by himself, hussie-the-character is confined to the canon, so hussie-the-author deliberately is de-centering himself from the extra-canonical parts of franchise here holy shit)

likewise, the twisting of other epilogue characters isn’t trying to say that those characters are inherently bad. like jane isn’t inherently a fascist or rapist. it’s just that in the political climate of the world today, talking about fascism and reproductive freedom and sexual assault is an important fucking conversation to have, and again, given jane’s canonical dialogue, it was easiest to twist her to make the story fit the themes the epilogues were exploring.

and ultimately, the basic premise of the epilogues - that they are extra-canonical texts which have no more or less validity than any other extra-canonical homestuck text - really drives home the fact that they’re not about the story. they’re about who gets to tell it, and why.

and i think that, armed with the knowledge that they’re a very deliberate meta-narrative exploration of the concept of authorial agenda (which is something homestuck, and frankly hussie himself, given literally all of his other creative work, has always been very interested in) and a deconstruction of the entire concept of “canon” and “word of god” confirmation... i think i could re-read the epilogues and actually genuinely enjoy them for what they are instead of being mad that they’re not what i thought they would be?

like, a second time around i would go in knowing that it’s gonna hurt, but the characters i love and their twisted suffering aren’t the point. the characters of the epilogues are only there to demonstrate proof positive of the meta-narrative concept of author-as-antagonist, and how a story works. because the epilogues were never actually about characters. they’re about how thinking a single author’s agenda in telling a story is fucking tyrannical

basically what i’m saying is the homestuck epilogues are about how the Author Is Not Dead And Cannot Die, because Every Author Has an Agenda, but it is imperative that we, as a group Kill the Author Stone Cold Dead, because The Author Is a Tyrant who Oppresses the Freedom of the Narrative

idk if i’ll actually re-read them or not but... i think now i’m more at peace with them than i thought i was. because i’m actually very interested in the concepts they’re exploring. i’m really interested in metanarrative and how stories work.

i’ve been thinking so much about this specifically because of homestuck 2 and some of the things dirk says in it and how he’s portrayed/portraying himself. and even though i haven’t played pesterquest yet, the existence of pesterquest and its basic premise have also got me thinking

i guess what i’m saying is, homestuck 2 legitimately made me excited about homestuck again, but this time i’m excited about it for the reasons i think hussie and the creative team behind the homestuck franchise actually want me to be.

#homestuck #homestuck 2 #the homestuck epilogues #homestuck epilogue #meta #metanarrative #i find it very difficult to articulate my thoughts about homestuck's position regarding death of the author #it's basically saying The Author is Dead and The Author Cannot Die at the same time #UnDeath of the Author #death of the author #about me #i'm sorry for rambling this got away from me #that's been happening a lot lately i think it's probably the new antidepressant

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isa-ghost · 5 years ago

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Achievements Unlocked?

The last decade has COMPLETELY shaped who I am now and the fact that it ends today and essentially sends me off into the next one where turning 30 is the end is something I can’t wrap my head around and not just bc it’s barely 9am as I’m writing it. Ten years hasn’t felt like ten years and all the shit that’s happened during those ten years feels like it’s happened in the last like,,, 3.

Basically this is just me going How The Fuck Did All Of This Happen In A Decade and highlighting the big things that shaped who I am now.

Uhhh this is long I’m gonna-

2010/2011 (Shit’s A Blur):

I started noticing aesthetic interests I had.

I developed my love for the outdoors and exploration.

I started realizing vaguely spooky things were really intriguing to me.

I got SUPER into Harry Potter.

Which lead to me creating my first two Ocs.

I started switching from drawing animals/landscapes to drawing people.

I made my first cluster of friends I hoped I’d have forever. (Spoiler alert: only still have one of em).

2012:

I started identifying with punk rock & emo culture/aesthetics.

I made my first cluster of online friends (Spoiler alert: don’t talk to any of em now)

I got into YouTubers.

I got into anime.

I made my first “blog.” It was a Facebook page for a fictional character.

I discovered my favorite band.

I made my first online friend I hoped I’d have forever (still have em so far!)

I met my future wife.

I started roleplaying with Ocs.

Which lead to making more.

I started drawing digitally using bases. Which started my improvement.

I made my own first little community via my FB page.

Which lead to an rp group of more friends I hoped I’d have forever (still got a handful of em!)

I discovered my other favorite bands.

I started using Skype.

I got into more anime.

My parents were officially fully separated.

Which began the very start of realizing my dad was verbally abusive.

Congrats Isa, You Need Glasses You Dumb Fuck. Hooray astigmatism.

I graduated 8th grade.

2013:

I was essentially forced to move in with my dad for high school.

I started high school.

Officially became total anime trash and started watching them like crazy.

I THINK I hit 100 Ocs at some point this year. Just kept makin them from here.

Met my first cluster of irl forever friends (spoiler alert: only have 1 now).

Learned having Ocs was Not Just An Isa Thing, Holy Shit I Thought I Was Just Weird.

Promptly fell in love with learning about other people’s Ocs.

Realized Wow, I Kinda Can’t Stand My Dad And I Don’t Trust Him.

Had my first boyfriend. *gag* He was nasty.

Experienced my first long distance relationship. It lasted 3 days.

2014/2015 (Shit’s Also Blurry):

Got another long distance boyfriend. First relationship I genuinely liked the person.

I realized talking multiple people through the lowest points of their lives and keeping them from harming themselves was a sign I should maybe get into psychology and do that as a job.

I started getting interested in researching mental disorders.

Realized Okay Yeah, I Lowkey Hate My Dad

Realized I had A Concerning Amount Of Symptoms Of Depression. Fuck.

Realized Huh, Girls Are Pretty Too,,,

My friend taught me about bi and pansexuality. Casually started identifying as pan. Didn’t know shit about LGBT+ stuff.

Was shown a video by my friend. Decided Wow I Really Like This Screaming Potato Guy.

Acquired one more forever friend I still have.

Got slapped in the face by Gravity Falls.

My mom moved out of the rural town I just spent the last like 8 Years Of My Own Character Development In, Dammit

I realized money and finances Fucking Sucks.

Had the,, probably worst year of my adolescence. Angry, depressed, sick of my dad. It was Not Great. Almost started self-harming, only didn’t because I’d be a hypocrite if I did after helping my friends stop doing it.

Homestuck invaded my life around here I think.

Decided I’m Gonna Live With My Online Friends One Day! (spoiler alert: nope).

Was kinda forced by my dad to move out of the apartment I lived in and therefore forced to transfer schools.

Got to meet my future wife irl for the first time. Wow that was,, so gay before we even realized.

Okay Hold On, This New School Is,,, Really Nice.

2016:

New school. New me. New friends. New everything. Fuckity shit fuck.

Okay wait they have an anime club like my other school did we good.

Met another two forever friends that I think really are forever friends now.

Angry Shitty Depression Time Died Down A Little.

Somehow learned about evilsonas. Huh, Does Jack Have One? ... Ok Cool, They’re All People’s Ocs. Meh.

Started learning how to drive. Oh My God This Is Fun.

Lost my second ever pet and was... very confused when I wasn’t as traumatized as I was the first time I lost a pet.

Boyfriend kinda Thanos snapped from existence bc his irl life was hectic.

Experienced what it’s like to have a friend that died.

Wow my irl best friend is hot. ... Okay I Think Boyfriend’s Absence Is Bothering Me. *proceeds to ignore that*

Gets into some more bands.

Knock Knock, You Have Separation Anxiety, Isa.

Finally decided to try out high school things like homecoming. Ooh That Was Actually Fun.

The beginning of the worst end to a friendship I’ve ever had starts. Not Handling It Well.

Discovered Fooster. Cue hyperfixation on new favorite YouTuber and more new friends.

Wait What The Fuck What Just Happened To Jack’s Camera,,,, OH MY GOD HE ISN’T-

HE IS. OH FUCK HE IS. MMMMHELLO KNIFE MAN.

Totally forgets he exists for the next like 10 months.

Realization I Really Fucking Love Halloween.

Discovered what asexuality is and immediately identifies because I thought I was just weird.

Hmm maybe I should start watching this Markiplier guy

Big Sad Times, My Friends Graduated. Next Year Gonna SUCK.

Tried out Dungeons & Dragons. Fuckin loved it.

2017:

Ah fuck I’m a senior in high school this is gonna be a trip.

Discovered I like photography.

Literally where did this school year go it’s so blurry.

Was convinced to end the relationship with boyfriend. He’s still a good bean.

Hey uhhhh online best friend do u big gay.

WE big gay.

Found a book I really like that isn’t Harry Potter, damn it’s about time.

Ok But This Book Really Fucked Me Up, I Love It.

OH FUCK WAIT I’M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL.

Oh that wasn’t so bad.

Actually had to be PUSHED by my friends to have my first kiss with my girlfriend at my graduation party because I was too busy going [dkasjdjf] about having her physically in my presence at all.

First super memorable vacation. Wow I Fucking Love Traveling.

Got to meet another online friend!! I am,, incredibly lucky about being able to do that, this was like the 4th friend I got to meet.

[That one motion blur conspiracy theorist meme] SABRINA IM TELLING U JACK IS UP TO SOMETHING HIS TWITTER IS FUCKY

Gets punched in the throat with Kill Jacksepticeye on the way home from vacation and remembers how much I fucking love Anti

TIME FOR COLLEGE. I made a mistake.

TIME FOR COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Much Better.

Friend I Still Have From High School 1/2 introduced me to Bendy and the Ink Machine. HYPERFIXATION TIME BABEY.

Let’s,,, lets try Tumblr. Jack exists there a lot. And so does good art of everything I’m interested in.

Wait Who’s This Baby With The Mustache, JACK EXPLAIN

Okay there’s More Going On Here, lets get active in the community.

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SECURITY FOOTAGE. THIS IS SKETCH. THIS ISOH MOTHERFUCKER ITS ANTI

Isa: Become Theorist

The rest is history, really, all stuff I’ve posted about on here. xD

And knowing me I’ve left out other highlighted bits but remembering all of this is,,, really exhausting lmao, I’m surprised I jotted down as much as I did in Relatively Chronological Order.

#happy 2020 new year

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4n0th3rm3 · 6 years ago

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Who has control over a story? Or: presidency as a metaphor for authorship

So… I have read the meat part of the Homestuck epilogues and I have to say, I am impressed. I have to admit that I was initially wary of the experience because the first opinions I’ve read on tumblr have been controversial, to say the least. But before I talk about the epilogue itself, I have to make some things clear. I haven’t read Homestuck in my formative teenage years. I started reading it when I was 18, so I had a lot more distance to the main characters and their experiences than I would have had if I was younger. This was also an age when my English could have been considered „good“ enough to even understand what was going on since it’s not my mother tongue. Additionally, I was just starting my degree in literary studies, so the interest in narrative structure has always been on the forefront of my reading experience, so that’s what I’ll focus on in my analysis. And hoo boy does Homestuck deliver in that regard.

First of all we have to ask: in what situation are the epilogues written? Homestuck is „officially over“, the fans are more or less satisfied, the „canon“ is supposed to be finished and can now be looked at in its entirety. This is not only important for the creators of fanworks, but also for Hussie himself. In a lot of ways, when a work is canonically finished, the author has distanced themselves from the story and the writing process. So how to write epilogues, when you have given up control over the narrative? It’s at this point that Hussie decides to make the problem explicit in the work itself: he changes the medium. What has been a narrative element in Homestuck before now becomes once again necessary for understanding the story. By changing the webcomic format to an Ao3 fanfiction format he shows the reader that these are indeed „tales of dubious authenticity“.

Now, finding the tone for the continuation of a finished work can be difficult (and we have to keep in mind that Homestuck has been over for three years). When we take a look at the Harry Potter series, where lots of fans were disappointed by a seemingly overly saccharine epilogue, we see how much can go wrong in the fans’ opinion. Actually, Harry Potter is also a good example of the consequences it has for a work of art and its fanbase when the author tries to uphold their control over the narrative after the work is finished — it can be disastrous (case in point: jkrowlings borderline surreal twitter presence). The expectations readers have are repeatedly mirrored in the epilogue itself:

And all of us are definitely the „devoted fans“ who show up to any new content, even if it’s bad. But is it bad? Whether there is too much meat (brutality, tragedy) or too much candy in it, both will be unsatisfactory. This is a thing that Rose, in the process of becoming a aware of the whole canon herself, comments on:

Even before the epilogues, Homestuck has always had lots of both, it varied in tone and regularly switched between tragedy and comedy, most often depicting tragedy through the lens of comedy. That was one go the things that made it unique. The way that Karkat reacts to the fact that Jade didn’t know that Obama was a real person shows how important the framing of events can be:

How comedy and tragedy are received respectively is very subjective to the reading experience. The reactions of the characters to canon and post-canon events mirror different fan behavior. Take for example Calliope, who seems to obsess over overly saccharine fantasies, mixed with gore and pornographic content:

The way it is framed here, it seems to sum up the fanfiction side of the Homestuck fandom pretty well. It frankly reminded me of the times when a lot of the fandom was pretty obsessed with the dark and horny parts of Homestuck - and unapologetically so. I mean, remember the 4chan „raids“ on Tumblr? That’s what they had to say about the Homestuck tag:

Now, please keep in mind that I haven’t read the candy part yet, so if Calliopes behavior is directly referring to it, it partly goes over my head at this moment. That the different perspectives and reading experiences can clash with each other and even canonical events itself is shown in John's own discomfort at the reunion with his friends:

It reflects on the way that the whole of Homestuck has been perceived by the readers not only while it was running but also after it has ended. Looking at a story after it’s been finished and at the sum of all its parts leads to some problems - for the author and the creators of fan works alike. From a distance and after three years, everyone is „stuck somewhere in the harrowing nexus between canon, post-canon, non-canon, outside canon, and fanon.“ Or as Rose puts it:

Rose realizes at this point that, much as we, the reader, the characters (especially Rose and Dirk) have also become readers of their own, their whole story. This forces them, much as us, to confront every aspect of every character that has been written in the Homestuck canon, what Dirk then calls the Ultimate Self. How do you for example characterize a person like Dirk when you know how different aspects of his personality play out in different scenarios? I mean, Bro is very much a character that exists in the Homestuck canon and — shitty as he is — shares Dirk’s genetic information. Dirk on the other hand is a person who has always tried to overcome the negative aspects of his personality that are realized in other versions of him. The convergence of personalities that happens when the characters become readers of canon themselves is in Dirk’s case as much a tragedy as it is for us, who have also seen the positive potential of his character. ultimate!Dirk then goes — in the manner of an overly sarcastic megalomaniac — from reader to narrator:

So it’s not surprising that looking at the whole of canon itself, different characters show different reading behaviors. This is as much true for Dirk as it is for every single reader, especially every creator of fan works. We take the elements that are given to us and try to create something from it. In one way or the other, by interpreting a story, everyone tries to take hold of the narrative. This is especially true for a story like Homestuck, where the interaction with fans and fan culture have been a central element of storytelling and has lead to the inclusion of multiple contributors to the work itself.

In ultimate!Dirk’s case, it is made very explicit how his particular perspective influences the narrative structure. The lines between reader and author blur even further than before:

But not only ultimate!Dirk and muse!Calliope, who tries to take the narrative away from him, have conflicting views and agencies, other characters also start framing actions and people in a certain way. It’s no coincidence that Hussie decided to make an election the setting for the epilogues. In meat, Jane runs for presidency and is then rivaled by Karkat, who decides to take a stand against her „xenophobic“ views. While Karkat says:

It quickly becomes clear, that a lot of what we think about Jane in the meat epilogue is framed on the one hand by ultimate!Dirk’s manipulative narrative that influences the behavior and events, and on the other hand by Dave and Karkat’s political campaign. (Both of whom don’t leave their house very often and have probably not spoken to Jane in a long time.)

We think that Jane is xenophobic because ultimate!Dirk and Karkat tell us she is. Not to say that Jane doesn’t have some problematic views, but she seems to be far from a fascist dictator.

It mostly shows how politics is very much about presenting a certain narrative to your potential voters. And whoever controls the political narrative has a hegemonial perspective on cultural narratives as well. This is an idea that has probably been best presented in the texts of the philosopher Walter Benjamin. In his essay „On the concept of history“ he remarks on the way a ruling class presents history and historical events as a legitimization of their power, and ultimately concludes that historical methodology is also a question of politics and questioning narratives that are presented to us. In 1940, when the essay was written, it was the conflict between fascism and socialism that influenced Benjamin’s work, but today his ideas are just as relevant.

By presenting the election and conflicting narratives (ultimate!Dirk vs. muse!Calliope, Jane vs. Karkat and Dave) side by side, Hussie builds a bridge between those two. It is not only that the text is a metaphor for the current political climate, it is a metaphor for the way that current behavior in general is shaped by controlling narratives. We live in a time when fake news and callout culture are two sides of the same coin: especially in America, these two intersect more and more, in political campaigns and online. Not to say that this kind of discourse isn’t developing in Europe as well, it’s just that the American one seems to be central for the discourse and views that shape sites like tumblr. On Earth C, in the „post canon victory state“, we can see these methods of political strategy developing from the very beginning.

This becomes especially clear as Vriska comments on Hussie’s behavior (as in: Homestuck-character Hussie): „not to mention your flawless defeat of an obstructionist, hectoring, orange man, who for reasons you cannot begin to comprehend seemed to be obsessed with you.“ While the whole world sees itself confronted with the weird views of a megalomaniac orange man (Trump), so does the readership of Homestuck: Hussie and Dirk’s text are both orange and are a constant obstacle for the fans who try to take hold of the narrative, to make their perspective the right one.

Actually, ultimate!Dirk’s perspective is skewed by numerous biases, mostly concerning women and gender issues. Jade is repeatedly called „bitch“ in a derogatory way and Kanayas behavior is framed as being „hysterical“. Roxy’s transition goes straight over his head, he can’t read her intentions because he is blind to gender issues that don’t fit his limited understanding of the concept of gender. He reminds me of a member of the alt-right, shutting women out of conversations and disregarding their opinions. This quote especially:

This sounds like it’s ripped straight from an alt-righter defending his free speech while at the same time trying to shoehorn his dubious political intentions in. In contrast to that, muse!Calliopes way of telling the story seems to be fairly neutral.

So it’s no surprise that the people he tried to shut out before (women and trans people) are realizing that his narrative behavior is trying to manipulate them and they take action. Especially Terezi seems to be immune to his narrative manipulation:

The moment that they break the hold ultimate!Dirk has over the narrative, they are beginning to feel like the old „canon“ characters.

Up to this point, we had to look at genuine character moments through the lens of an unreliable narrator. Homestuck has always been a parody that got unintentionally serious, so I think we have to look at the epilogues the same way: genuine character moments under the layers of parody, commentary on fan behavior and politics.

Ultimate!Dirk ultimately fails to create a cohesive narrative, one that favors only one perspective. This is reflective of the way Homestuck has been written and perceived these last ten years. He has to fail, because the author has lost control and interpretative hegemony over Homestuck canon — no one has it.

That is why it’s so important that the voice of the epilogues is not only Hussie’s voice, but was written in part by Cephied_Variable and ctset. While Hussie was responsible for writing the dialogue, the surrounding prose is entirely in the hands of fans. It’s a decentralized narrative that refuses to acknowledge one perspective, one reception as the right one.

And much like the kids in the juju, we are now stuck in a place outside of canon, after Homestuck ended. And it just happens that everyone is starved for new content: We all wish we had brought something to read. Be it the epilogues or fanfiction, we are all stuck in a place that no longer really affects the narrative:

And look at me, how I desperately try to take hold of the narrative in this long ass meta post. This is what Homestuck means to me and this is my perspective, my narrative.

#homestuck #upd8 #homestuck epilogue #homestuck meta #andrew hussie #long post #sorry this got like reeeeaaaaaally long #but if you want to read my hot takes on politics and authorship be my guest #(please be my guest)

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edenfalling · 6 years ago

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[Fic] Random fragments that I will never finish

#liz writes stuff #liz talks about random stuff #fragment #harry potter series #homestuck #daredevil (mcu)#riddlemaster trilogy #fairy tales #all my original fiction (which you can find on dreamwidth)#liz is thinky #decluttering

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momestuck · 6 years ago

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Epilogues: Meat ch 1-8 [Epilogue 1]

I’m eating so you get one more of these before I try to salvage a bit of work from today.

We’ve read through the whole of the ‘Candy’ branch of the story. It went places! Spoilers for it below.

Somehow Jane turned into a fascist dictator, Karkat became a heroic resistance leader, a whole lot of ships were made and broken, Dirk killed himself but somehow it was fake (???), John went through multiple existential crises and a failed marriage, Jade destroyed Dave and Karkat’s relationship but ultimately got with Dave, Gamzee was brought back to perform a ‘redemption arc’ and was generally awful but ultimately ended up getting sexually assaulted and then murdered by Vriska, let’s not forget that the cast had three entire fucking babies and one of them ran into her own namesake... and Obama was there. And that’s not even covering all of it...

But that was all in a universe that was ‘inconsequential’; it was in a bubble disconnected from ‘canon’, spread out on the event horizon.

Now we wind the clock back, and consider what happens if John chooses on that day to go forth, recruit a group of other selves from elsewhere in Paradox Space, and fight Lord English, as ‘canon’ dictates he eventually must...

Chapter 1

This one is in second person, and features narrative prompts, which was also true of the first chapter of Candy.

This time, John eats the meat in a really gross way, manages to not puke everywhere, says awkward goodbyes, writes a bunch of letters, and fucks off back into Canon(TM).

Not a lot to say about that! P much what we expected. Wonder where he’s gonna end up?

Chapter 2

I pretty much expected them to dive straight into Canon, but no, in fact similar plots as the first one seem to be abrew. We meet Dave and Karkat - no Jade here, this time - as Dave breaks the news of Jane’s presidential bid.

So, Dave proposes, Karkat should run against her. Which was a possibility floated in the other story... it does feel rather like, at this point, whatever V said, I might have read them in the wrong order.

Dave brings up Obama as a reason he’d want to see a good president - Obama who, in Dave’s timeline, got killed by meteors before he could ‘fix the economy’. Which I guess makes his appearance in the other branch a little less of a non-sequitur, though still fucking weird don’t get me wrong!

DAVE: or maybe not... maybe there was like an escape hatch in the white house that led to his own secret presidential session of sburb

DAVE: what if hes just chillin there now

KARKAT: DAVE, I THINK WE’VE COVERED YOUR “OBAMA’S SECRET SESSION OF SBURB” THEORY WELL ENOUGH ALREADY.

So the Obama chapter was all payoff for a very long term brick joke? This is not the revelation I expected to be having in Meat.

Anyway, Dave basically explains how scary it is to have the human government in charge of troll reproduction, echoing Karkat’s words back at him. Apparently the way the whole weird eugenic system got put in place was that, before Kanaya arrived with the Mother Grub, the government reproduced trolls exclusively ectobiologically.

The other issue is... The Economy. We get a little note that, indeed, this is an alchemy-based post-scarcity economy:

DAVE: ok if shit goes sideways i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles and pauper chess men standing in bread lines or anything

DAVE: thats just the nature of alchemy-based post-scarcity economies the depressions tend to be pretty mild

DAVE: but it will still be bad

DAVE: a healthy economy is fuckin IMPORTANT

DAVE: if for no other reason than it protects the societal context for what it means to be fucking rich, like us

So uh what do they spend money on... I guess there’s services, those can’t be alchemised (except for the fact that ludicrously advanced robotics exists?). someone actually has to work the alchemizer...

Anyway most of this chapter is... electoral strategy.

DAVE: consorts overwhelm the other kingdoms in sheer numbers but due to unscrupulous gerrymandering, all kinds of fucked up voter suppression policies and some electoral “counterbalancing” measures to account for their ridiculous population growth rate their voting power per capita is kind of pathetic

DAVE: also its hard to drive turnout

DAVE: this may come as a shock but legions of easily distracted low information amphibians primarily concerned with eating bugs and farming god damned mushrooms arent the most politically motivated demographic

The chapter ends with Dirk calling Dave... to... cut off his head. Yeah. That joke again.

OK, this sure is a direction. Welcome to Homestuck Electoralism Edition I guess. They probably won’t have quite as many kids?

Chapter 3

John apparently has a specific list of retcon interventions, apopros of Rose. The first is to appear on the battleship during the three year journey in the non-canon, pre-retcon timeline, open a fridge containing Aradia and Gamzee (god I’ve forgotten so much), and take the ring that Aradia is holding (which ring is that again?). Then, John decides to shove Gamzee back in the fridge.

> Do everyone a favor and put an end to his preposterous narrative relevance.

You wisely decide that this clown will lend nothing valuable to the narrative whatsoever if he is allowed to remain outside of your childhood refrigerator. You put both hands on his chest and shove him into the fridge where he belongs. He goes easily, issuing only a pair of weak honks in protest. You slam the fridge shut and resolve to never think about Gamzee Makara again.

So... we’re going with that, huh.

I’ve said enough about the Gamzee Issue already perhaps. But I guess I thought they were going to do more than to bring Gamzee back mostly to mock the idea of ‘redemption arcs’, and ‘punish’ him some more for being a bad character.

Chapter 4

John interrupts two other retcon-Johns, one trying to cancel out the other, a Dave, and a grimbark Jade during some of the shit that happened when Jade got mind controlled or whatever... it’s been a long time...

Dave’s the first recruit, along with Jade. John gives him a rather half-assed explanation about why, after several years of ‘boring adult lives’, they need to go and fight Lord English now.

Chapter 5

Back to the real story: Dave and Karkat’s electoral bid.

Dirk has apparently been... playing the heel in televised rap battles to Jake’s face so that Jake’s endorsement of Jane’s political candidacy would be more effective. Yeah.

Also he disagrees with Dave on fiscal policy. The cad.

He has a rather weird conversation of alternately discouraging and encouraging Dave and Karkat’s opposition. Then, to round out the chapter, V and Cephied deliver... an entire stanza of Jake’s rap. Oh boy.

At the end, Dirk... tranquilizes Jake (????????) to take another call from Rose.

This is the ‘real’, ‘canon’ storyline now? Oh Homestuck.

Chapter 6

John’s assembled a group of god tier kids in his back garden. The alpha and beta kids are present, but there are no trolls.

There’s a rather uncomfortable moment (for the reader, as well as John) when young Roxy hits on adult John.

You weren’t prepared to get passively hit on by the Definitely Not Legal version of a girl you used to have a crush on at the age she was when you first met her, only a few hours after you watched the Actually Legal version of her engage in passionate hand-holding with her possibly aromantic skeleton alien monster girlfriend.

‘Legal’, really!

Anyway, John feels rather strained watching this rather rushed rehash of the reunion scenes from the original comic. He wonders about the ethics of all this...

You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?

foooof i mean he’s not wrong! let’s call them the ‘child soldiers’ from here on out...

Chapter 7

Time to catch up with Rose. We finally learn what’s wrong with her: she’s ‘ascending’, taking on the full burden of the ‘ultimate self’.

The same is also happening to Dirk, but he is somehow more resilient to it. So that’s what Obama did to Dave, huh.

Also this puts the prompt ‘Dirk: Ascend’ before his suicide in a rather different light.

The pieces are thus falling into place: this is why Dirk was building a Rosebot. Quite possibly the Dirk and Rose who were flying away from Earth C in the Candy timeline actually entered it out of this timeline, which would explain how Dirk was alive.

Chapter 8

Time to see the full events of Caliborn’s ‘Masterpiece’.

This is all Caliborn dropping an extremely corny buildup:

CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME.

CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS.

CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND...

His laughter turns into a low, cracked gurgle. It spikes towards you in waves, distorts and pitches low. He is beyond pleased with himself, and with the line he is about to deliver.

CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY MASTERPIECE!

We need more organs to give that the proper level of scare chord...

End of Epilogue 1

Well that explained at least some of the wild horseshit we experienced in Candy, I guess.

So somehow this is all according to keikaku, which is to say Dirk’s design - he fancies himself as an engineer, putting each piece in its proper place. Rose isn’t entirely in on it, but she will be. We still don’t know why Dirk’s doing this, why he needs Jane to be president, why he’s ultimately going to need a new SBurb session...

As for themes and stuff... this just felt like ‘setting the board’. Rather hastily, even though it’s a full eight chapters. Compared to the emotional heft of some of the stuff that happened in Candy, anyway... this is all plot.

#momestuck

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verdigrisprowl · 6 years ago

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Sept 24 Dancitron Movie Night - Assassin’s Creed

Prowl wasn’t here because this movie was chock full of so much back-of-the-neck mind-invading.

Today opatoes 7:58 pm /Smokescreen's coming in, much shorter than he was last week but here, at least!/ Kelpy 7:59 pm Fire. opatoes 7:59 pm Soundwave, I need to find you the terrible lifehack videos! NoodlesAtNight 7:59 pm *Soundwave stares at Smokescreen with his arms half full of bowls for the bar.* [[No. No, you don't. ... What in Pit happened to you.]] [[Greetings, Swerve.]] Kelpy 8:00 pm Hey Soundwave. opatoes 8:00 pm ... Every time a greyface hugs me, I shrink by an inch. /He is about 5 feet at the moment./ SCProwl 8:00 pm ((o h my gd whyyyyyyy SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:00 pm *the dragon wanders in, fluffy and bearing treats as always! she got fancy this time, with delicate syrups and intricate carvings, but they're still the tasty dragon treats everyone knows and loves* Hello, Soundwave, Ravage, everyone! Darkscream 8:01 pm [skreeee Chaoit 8:01 pm ((HI! Today Darkscream 8:01 pm [rabbit don't you DARE go to hell on me I swear to Primus NoodlesAtNight 8:01 pm [[Good evening, dragon. And smack them if they insist on hugging you.]] opatoes 8:01 pm /Smokescreen is practically running after the treats!/ MedicalMurdersaurus 8:02 pm *stops outside to roll around in the dust and what not* Kelpy 8:02 pm I had a thought and then I forgot it. opatoes 8:02 pm I would if I could, Soundwave. On the bright side, every time I hug a Cybertronian, I grow an inch, so I guess I need to get really close with someone soon! Darkscream 8:02 pm [*intense squinting at rabbit for the glitching* NoodlesAtNight 8:02 pm [[Don't you dare.]] ((if it's being awful refresh)) opatoes 8:03 pm Don't I dare? MedicalMurdersaurus 8:03 pm *huffs, this is not up to his standards* *promptly stops caring and sprints inside to find Bird* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:04 pm *the dragon puffs up, interposing all tiny feet of herself between Soundwave and Smokescreen* You don't dare! *grr. such fierce. much protect. very power. wow.* NoodlesAtNight 8:04 pm *What an amazing and wonderful dragon. He must find her more butter.* [[Thank you for saving him.]] opatoes 8:04 pm Wait, THAT'S what you're worried about? I'm not gonna hug a bot that doesn't want to be hugged. Darkscream 8:04 pm [Okay it seems to be better now] MedicalMurdersaurus 8:05 pm Bird! NoodlesAtNight 8:05 pm [[Oh. Good. In that case, enjoy the bar treats.]] *Waves a hand in that direction and sits.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:05 pm Bird? NoodlesAtNight 8:05 pm {{What?}} MedicalMurdersaurus 8:05 pm Hi Bird : > NoodlesAtNight 8:05 pm {{Hello.}} Chaoit 8:05 pm -trots in, yawning a bit- SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:05 pm Good! *the dragon preens herself proudly, before going back to her treat cart and continuing to place them where they belong.* NoodlesAtNight 8:05 pm *Does this Blaster EVER get sleep? Soundwave must wonder.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:06 pm Me Swoop miss You! : > opatoes 8:06 pm Thank you, Soundwave. You don't know how hungry I am right now! /He's practically throwing himself at the bar, ready to help himself!/ Chaoit 8:06 pm -nightmares, Soundwave. They tend to cut sleep short- Kelpy 8:07 pm This video name is very misleading. These are crafts, not life hacks. Why did they lie. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:07 pm ((literally why would you want that)) ((rope covered lightbulbs seem like an invitation to have someone accidentally smash one and cut themselves up)) opatoes 8:07 pm ((HONESTLY some lifehacks are just... not lifehacks at all opatoes 8:08 pm ... Wait, you can do that? OH Chaoit 8:08 pm ((what the fuck no, don't do that opatoes 8:08 pm Oh, I thought they were replacing the glass or something I want a weird bottle shaped light SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:08 pm ((I'm torn between agreeing or a sarcastic comment on about how not everyone is a pterodactyl with big pterodactyl wings)) opatoes 8:08 pm Idea #1: Static fingers Darkscream 8:10 pm Peers in through the doorway - are they even inside - before coming in. Dipping her wings down to keep them out of the way before coming inside. Huh. There are quite a few more mechs here than she thought. Welp. This is going to be an interesting night! chronosmith 8:12 pm ((omg i love thse crappy 5 minute craft videos)) opatoes 8:12 pm ((i know right chronosmith 8:13 pm *this is the last week of the four weeks his offering of exotic space caviar has awarded him free drinks, Whirl is already up at that bar* opatoes 8:13 pm What kinda statement would it be to just, like, spray yourself in mirror spray? NoodlesAtNight 8:13 pm ((making a food brb opatoes 8:14 pm why pumpkins MedicalMurdersaurus 8:15 pm *rocks back and forth on his heels* Me Swoop want hang out more with You BIrd! Me 8:15 pm ((look at all this shit i am So Ready for the halloween aesthetic holy shit. it's time.)) Kelpy 8:16 pm //lmao opatoes 8:16 pm ((MOOD i should pull out my spider cup Darkscream 8:16 pm [do eit chronosmith 8:16 pm SAME)) Darkscream 8:16 pm [I'd have it out all year opatoes 8:16 pm ((i already have my anatomically incorrect dinosaur and spider skeletons out on display SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:16 pm ((TIME TO GET SPOOKY)) opatoes 8:16 pm ((i do! i'm just not using it rn SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:17 pm ((did that man just hot-glue his hands)) opatoes 8:17 pm ((yes SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:17 pm ((fear)) opatoes 8:17 pm ((yeahhh 😔 Kelpy 8:17 pm Those are some weirdly exaggerated scare responses. Do all humans do that MedicalMurdersaurus 8:17 pm *wiggles in his best "pay attention to me" dance, similar to a pee pee dance but a pinch less urgent* opatoes 8:17 pm I think so! ... Ohhh, they're supposed to be worms chronosmith 8:17 pm *peers at the screen dubiously as he continues to mix. The fumes from this Gaugebuster might be deadly. He's going all out* opatoes 8:18 pm I just thought they liked making everything difficult chronosmith 8:18 pm ((IT'S ME)) Darkscream 8:18 pm I've never seen any human do any of this before for Halloween... *Frowns at this nonsense that is going on.* opatoes 8:18 pm w why would you opatoes 8:19 pm ((video is just like "just put hot glue your friend's phone.")) Chaoit 8:19 pm -watching this in confusion- MedicalMurdersaurus 8:19 pm ((If you're going to be a big enough asshole to hot glue shit to the front of my phone, you better have the balls to actually slam a nail through there because I'm coming for you either way.)) Me 8:19 pm ((the most terrifying halloween costume: broken phone.)) Darkscream 8:19 pm [DON'T DO ANY OF THIS SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:19 pm ((you're so valid swoop)) chronosmith 8:19 pm Oh yeah, it's getting to be about that time, isn't it? Hmm. Gotta figure out a way to make my costume work. opatoes 8:19 pm ((... that one brought back memories with the chapstick Me 8:19 pm ((these aren't even halloween, they're just pranks now?)) Kelpy 8:19 pm //gfbfhg tbh Kelpy 8:19 pm //mean ones chronosmith 8:20 pm ((HALLOWEEEEEN pranks. ...buy not really)) opatoes 8:20 pm ... is this how to make homestuck horns)) Me 8:20 pm (("diy cheap-ass homestuck cosplay.")) opatoes 8:20 pm ((EY Kelpy 8:20 pm //p sure that was meant to be maleficient lmao Me 8:20 pm ((well they CLEARLY used the wrong colors)) opatoes 8:20 pm ((its gothstuck MedicalMurdersaurus 8:20 pm *escalates from his "look at me" dance to full on jumping up and down* Me 8:21 pm ((that one's actually pretty tho)) Kelpy 8:21 pm //lmao i just recognized the shape tbh NoodlesAtNight 8:21 pm ((okay bek)) opatoes 8:21 pm ((i knew once they put it on it was maleficent but the whole time i was thinking "homestuck?" 'cause i had to do that for some emergency troll horns once ;; Me 8:21 pm ((omg nice)) opatoes 8:22 pm ((that sentence already says a lot about me i realize but ascxvb the vriska horns i made before broke on me Darkscream 8:22 pm *More wondering why Swoop is jumping around. Staring at him then the video of nonsense.* Me 8:22 pm ((i used that super soft self-drying crayola clay)) opatoes 8:22 pm ((oooo! NoodlesAtNight 8:22 pm *Laserbeak decides to stop waiting to see how long Swoop will escalate the dances before it gets out of hand and waves.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:22 pm *stops jumping and waves with his whole arm* Me 8:22 pm ((so THAT'S how you make a yarn wig SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:23 pm *now that her due diligence is done, Whirl is getting the fanciest epaulette* Hello! NoodlesAtNight 8:23 pm *Soundwave suddenly stops being off in his own head and looks around to see who all is there. They all get nods and pings as usual, with Rumble fighting with Frenzy to push and shove his way downstairs so he can hole up with Whirl on the couch and watch movies* opatoes 8:23 pm ((i feel like you could do the thing people do with yarn tails to make it more hair-like? why are there so many pumpkin hacks SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:23 pm ((TINY PUMPKINS)) NoodlesAtNight 8:23 pm ((starting in 7 get whatever you need)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:23 pm (🍕) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:23 pm Bird! Bird! Me Swoop miss You Bird a loooooottt! SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:23 pm ((huh. that's an emoji.)) Chaoit 8:23 pm Um.... chronosmith 8:23 pm *bobs his head at his epaulette; the noxious concoction is Complete* Sup? Chaoit 8:23 pm What was all that? chronosmith 8:24 pm just gonna drink straight baileys out the damn bottle)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:24 pm ((WHAT)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:24 pm Me! I am up! *the dragon tries not to look too proud of her joke* But, I also have been having a good week. How about you? chronosmith 8:24 pm not that I don't drink liquor out the bottle BUT NOT BAILEY'S, NOT A LIQEUR)) Kelpy 8:24 pm //dfgbrdtfgbgv hacks to break the law i guess Me 8:24 pm ((... why don't you just....... pour it in a thermos)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:24 pm ((literally there are ten thousand other ways to drink in public)) Darkscream 8:24 pm Humans have gotten very weird... Me 8:24 pm ((that is the WORST way to try to drink in public)) Kelpy 8:24 pm //not to mention it looks SO SUSPICIOUS Chaoit 8:24 pm Humans ARE weird MedicalMurdersaurus 8:24 pm ((I will get one of those wine bras before attempting a boozerrito)) Kelpy 8:24 pm //just shove your mouth into a sandwich opatoes 8:24 pm ((... i met someone who drank it from a ketchup bottle last tfn NoodlesAtNight 8:25 pm {{Maybe you not miss Bird if you get scope sight, heh heh.}} Me 8:25 pm ((omg)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:25 pm ((they're still drinking straight baileys)) Kelpy 8:25 pm These are insanely complex and ridiculous and completely pointless opatoes 8:25 pm ((specifically: they offered me a swig and i chugged it expecting ketchup)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:25 pm Pff! You funny Bird. Me Swoop GOOD shot! Kehehh. You Bird not here. Or Swoop not. Or BOTH. : < SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:26 pm ((smokeymun you are exactly a disaster)) Me 8:26 pm ((... the fact that you chugged it BEFORE knowing makes it even better)) NoodlesAtNight 8:26 pm *The fighting continues all the way right up to just in front of Whirl's couch, at which point the twins look at each other for a long, silent moment, nod, and then peacefully separate to steal different portions of said couch* chronosmith 8:26 pm omfg)) opatoes 8:26 pm ((asdzxvbmncx id do it again chronosmith 8:26 pm i would rather chug homemade moonshine that ketchup, which I hate)) and incidentally I have had homemmade moonshine, which was brought to me ina water bottle)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:26 pm ((... what)) chronosmith 8:26 pm good stuff)) NoodlesAtNight 8:26 pm {{Bird busy many often times. It work! You Swoop got work too.}} opatoes 8:26 pm ((: o SCProwl 8:26 pm ((reading books is for wimmin, gotta watch sportsball Chaoit 8:26 pm ............. Chaoit 8:27 pm Um.... SCProwl 8:27 pm ((that's all i took from that guy ruining that book is that's what he thinks NoodlesAtNight 8:27 pm *Soundwave sees a new face here. Who is the blue and black bot?* [[Greetings. Designation?]] chronosmith 8:27 pm *shrugs* Incredibly boring and monotonous. Which is not IDEAL. I almost wish someone else would come screaming down to Cybertron to try and collect my damn bounty. At least THEN I'd have something to DO that isn't... *shudders* Regular old hard WORK. Darkscream 8:27 pm *Facepalms.* These are things not even John would do! NoodlesAtNight 8:27 pm ((oh look it's soundwave's mouth)) opatoes 8:28 pm ((PPHFHFPH Kelpy 8:28 pm These are the most pointless "hacks". Why are they doing thins MedicalMurdersaurus 8:28 pm *twists his torso back and forth so his arms and wings get flailed loosely around as he levels Laserbeak with his best exasperated face* Me Swoop not wooooorrrkk. Me Swoop hang out. Want to hang out with You Bird! opatoes 8:28 pm these dont hack my life at all 😔 NoodlesAtNight 8:28 pm {{Then you Swoop sit. Us watch movie in two minute.}} SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:28 pm If they come down to kidnap you, I'll have to fight them, Whirl. *the dragon is deadly serious* NoodlesAtNight 8:28 pm //Y'WANT your life hacked? Cuz I could do it.// opatoes 8:28 pm Soundwave, can you hack my life SCProwl 8:29 pm ((oh yes, just put tape directly on your skin Darkscream 8:29 pm *Turns her attention over to Soundwave. Assuming he was talking to her, this was the first time meeting, she put up a servo in greetings.* I'm Darkscream. Kelpy 8:29 pm Huh MedicalMurdersaurus 8:29 pm ((I lik ehow they tied fishing line ot her skirt instead of using a fan or hairdryer like a sane person)) Me 8:29 pm ((reblog to save marilyn monroe's life)) opatoes 8:29 pm ((asdxcvbnzxxcv MedicalMurdersaurus 8:29 pm *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighs* Kaay chronosmith 8:29 pm Nah, fighting them off is MY honor. Sorry. I rarely share my fights, dragon. *and now at last he will make his way over to the couch, having quietly and with amusement watched World War Twins break out over the best spot* opatoes 8:29 pm lifehack: just destroy your stuff opatoes 8:30 pm ... what would happen if I did this to my pedes SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:30 pm *the dragon sighs, but nods understandingly* Of course. That's perfectly fair. I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fights. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:30 pm ((if you actually fell that away in those shoes you'd absolutely have a broken wrist from trying to catch yourself)) Me 8:30 pm ((PONYTAIL THROUGH A KNIT HAT THAT'S THE WORST LOOK I'VE EVER SEEN HVSGDT)) Kelpy 8:30 pm /gfhbyfghnhg Chaoit 8:30 pm ((just NoodlesAtNight 8:30 pm [[What in BLAZES--]] Chaoit 8:30 pm ((yikes chronosmith 8:30 pm Now, at last, we see what Prowl's special task forces get up to. opatoes 8:30 pm soundwave this video vexes and terrifies me Chaoit 8:31 pm Soundwave? NoodlesAtNight 8:31 pm *So that's Darkscream.* [[Greetings, and welcome. Any high grade must be paid for, but solid snacks are free.]] [[And yes?]] Chaoit 8:31 pm What are we watching now? NoodlesAtNight 8:31 pm [[Nothing, because it is time to start.]] [[And he has tortured you all long enough.]] opatoes 8:31 pm ... but what is this lifehack chronosmith 8:31 pm Damn. I should've known you'd protect his secrets. Chaoit 8:31 pm Thank Primus opatoes 8:31 pm soundwave please NoodlesAtNight 8:31 pm [[A periscope.]] opatoes 8:31 pm . . . Oh MedicalMurdersaurus 8:31 pm *toddles after Bird to sit where she wants, for once forgetting to grab snacks for her* NoodlesAtNight 8:32 pm ((WARNINGS: i got distracted and didn't finish but uhhhhh assassin guy gets his finger chopped off in the opening sequence (whirl consider yourself notified), disturbing imagery, needles, unwilling medical patient, lots of violence and death, a little blood)) Darkscream 8:32 pm Good to know. Not much of a high grade mech, though I might grab a few snacks. *Smiles at Soundwave then glances around the room again. Out of all the mechs, she only recognized three, not counting Soundwave, and only one she's met before.* NoodlesAtNight 8:33 pm ((also if you've never played an AC game don't let this movie stop you. it's a horrible movie but in a fun way. the games are way better)) opatoes 8:33 pm /Smokescreen's grabbing as many drinks as he can before jumping off the bar, running towards where round Prowl is/ chronosmith 8:33 pm ((NOTIFIED. Liquor ready to be deployed for chugging-distraction functions)) opatoes 8:33 pm ((... i always read AC as animal crossing so i was so confused for a second)) chronosmith 8:33 pm ((altair but as an animal crossing style eagle... )) Me 8:33 pm ((Animal Creed)) ((Assassin's Crossing)) opatoes 8:33 pm ((Assassin's Crossing Kelpy 8:33 pm //assasin crossing SCProwl 8:33 pm *oh right, yes, Prowl totally arrived while everyone was watching bad life hacks* NoodlesAtNight 8:33 pm ((THE EAGLE THING IS CUTE)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:33 pm ((assassins crossing)) Me 8:34 pm ((whenever i see AC i think Advent Children)) Kelpy 8:34 pm //mood tho SCProwl 8:34 pm ((same, puff chronosmith 8:34 pm I think... Armor Class)) opatoes 8:34 pm ((Final Fantasy: Animal Crossing Chaoit 8:34 pm -peers back at the flier, blinking. Kinda feels like he recognizes her- Kelpy 8:34 pm //final fantasy seven, animal creed MedicalMurdersaurus 8:34 pm ((only the brotherhood and also the possibility this apple is a metaphor, not a real thing)) Me 8:34 pm ((... omg i didn't know the AC plot was so..... like........ dan brown)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:34 pm ((it is VERY dan brown)) chronosmith 8:34 pm ((ye dude)) NoodlesAtNight 8:34 pm ((you have NO idea)) opatoes 8:34 pm man I wish I had a house that big opatoes 8:35 pm I wish I had a house SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:35 pm ((yeah it's really really dan brown)) Me 8:35 pm ((i had no idea)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:35 pm What are they doing with those knives. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:35 pm Me SWOOP have a cave. Dino cave. ALL Dinos in cave : > NoodlesAtNight 8:35 pm ((but also really really really good)) chronosmith 8:35 pm *leans back, drink in hand, and bobs his head, in turn, to Rumble and Frenzy both* So, how was it you were planning to hack someone's life, again? The old-fashioned way? Me 8:35 pm ((man that apple is probably pretty much dust by now NoodlesAtNight 8:35 pm \\AIN'T NO BETTER WAY. HACK 'N SLASH, HEH.\\ Darkscream 8:35 pm *Going to head to where the snacks were to be out of the way. Given she was about Megatron's height, it was a really smart idea to not block the screen. Picks at one of the crunchy snacks.* NoodlesAtNight 8:36 pm *Ravage peers over the bar to stare at her. ... She smells all right.* chronosmith 8:36 pm *tips his head back for the OPENING CHUG* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:36 pm Oh that's what they're doing with those knives. opatoes 8:36 pm ... I want a cool axe Chaoit 8:36 pm .....yikes chronosmith 8:36 pm *the fumes might very well be smell-able from across the room* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:36 pm Them do Spanish. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:37 pm You Bird do Spanish? NoodlesAtNight 8:37 pm *They are. But Ravage's nose is strong enough he can smell Darkscream past it. Not the twins' though. They can't smell anything but booze.* {{Si.}} opatoes 8:37 pm That guy's got a Megatron blade! MedicalMurdersaurus 8:37 pm Kehehheh SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:37 pm ((IS THAT GODSMACK)) chronosmith 8:37 pm ((omg i typed that up without reading all of ravage's comment we both went for The Smell)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:37 pm How many WORDS You Bird know? :V SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:37 pm ((oh no I thought it was the song from the scorpion king movie)) Darkscream 8:37 pm *Pauses and looks back at Ravage with a curious blink. Tilts her helm a bit.* Ravage...? SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:37 pm ((this is not that song)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:38 pm KAHAHHAHA Him SUCK SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:38 pm ((parkour)) NoodlesAtNight 8:38 pm {{Aaaaaaall.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 8:38 pm :V That a lot chronosmith 8:39 pm *returns his attention to the screen* Hell yeah, Frenzy. I mean, my first love is guns, but I can appreciate a good swordfight. NoodlesAtNight 8:39 pm =Yes. You are wanting drinks?= Kelpy 8:39 pm Um chronosmith 8:40 pm Huh. Patsy Cline. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:40 pm ...Is that his docent. NoodlesAtNight 8:40 pm \\I LIKE IT UP CLOSE 'N PERSONAL.\\ *Frenzy grins and pops a drill - but only briefly, knowing the Boss will get mad if he leaves it out.* \\DON'T NOBODY MAKE SWORDS OUR SIZE.\\ [[It appears to be.]] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:40 pm Hm. opatoes 8:40 pm ... Who's blood is it, then? Kelpy 8:40 pm What SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:41 pm I don't like this. Chaoit 8:41 pm Um What? Kelpy 8:41 pm So did he kill her or chronosmith 8:41 pm That's a damn shame. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:41 pm She might have suicided. Kelpy 8:41 pm Excellent start to a movie NoodlesAtNight 8:41 pm //Better'n gettin' captured 'n tortured.// Darkscream 8:41 pm *Good looking Ravage for this 'verses style.* The currency still in credits? *Not even paying attention to the movie! It is so silly even for her.* opatoes 8:41 pm those corn fields stink SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:41 pm Generally speaking, yes. Me 8:42 pm ((i see he already has a genetic predisposition toward wearing hoods no matter the temperature)) chronosmith 8:42 pm Yeah, but I'd rather go down fighting, personally. Kelpy 8:42 pm //lmO opatoes 8:42 pm ((PFF NoodlesAtNight 8:42 pm =Eh, which kind?= ((LOL)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:42 pm ((man this movie is all about super dark scenes with one primary dominant color)) chronosmith 8:42 pm Edgy. Kelpy 8:43 pm //visiblity wasn't a concern when they filmed i guess SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:43 pm The pair's bonded. Not everyone can handle seeing their bondmate tortured in front of them. chronosmith 8:43 pm That's why you go out fighting TOGETHER. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:43 pm ((am I the only one bothered by the fact we have to guess where the subtitles are going to pop up? I want it to go balls to the walls and just start showing up in the middle of the screen on top of people's faces. Go all in.)) chronosmith 8:44 pm Get a backup plan, some kind of handy explosive you can use. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:44 pm Why Him all tie up? SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:44 pm That is a better idea. Did they have an explosive, though? NoodlesAtNight 8:44 pm ((youtube subtitles are terrible)) Chaoit 8:44 pm ...... NoodlesAtNight 8:45 pm ((and generally try to be near the speaker)) Kelpy 8:45 pm Do we get to know who he murdered MedicalMurdersaurus 8:45 pm Oh. Them cut him up. chronosmith 8:45 pm Probably not, but that's their own bad planning. Chaoit 8:45 pm ...oh no chronosmith 8:45 pm I always have some kind of grenade handy. I've got one in my subspace right now. NoodlesAtNight 8:45 pm //Yeah? What kind?// SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:45 pm This is definitely not a psychologically healthy way to execute someone. chronosmith 8:45 pm Matter of fact--*nods to Frenzy* It's the one you gave me. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:45 pm Oooh, nice. chronosmith 8:45 pm Implosion grenade. Chaoit 8:45 pm ....what? Darkscream 8:45 pm *Goes to her side and slips a servo into a subspace compartment. Takes a little bag out to set it down. Flips through to find a glowing chip almost like energon.* Got a more hard form or better in trade. Haven't don't much trading here. *Takes a seat at the bar if Ravage doesn't mind.* NoodlesAtNight 8:45 pm \\OOOOH, YOU STILL GOT IT?\\ chronosmith 8:45 pm Hell yeah I do! Waiting for the right time to use it. chronosmith 8:46 pm *peers at the screen* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:46 pm He doesn't look dead. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:46 pm Dead chronosmith 8:46 pm Honestly, it probably would have been better if he was dead. NoodlesAtNight 8:46 pm *Ravage ducks below the bar to peek at the list Prowl helped them set up for conversions. He's down there a moment or two before peeking over again.* =It works. What order?= SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:46 pm Almost certainly. Me 8:46 pm ((NO)) Kelpy 8:46 pm What a way to wake up opatoes 8:46 pm This... Isn't going to go well for him is it SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:46 pm Most people don't pretend to kill you for good reasons. Me 8:46 pm ((WHY DO THEY DO THAT)) NoodlesAtNight 8:46 pm ((i hate that)) opatoes 8:47 pm oh! his pants say dr! so he's a doctor right NoodlesAtNight 8:47 pm ((he should be pouring blood down his arm)) chronosmith 8:47 pm Don't trust her. Grab the IV out of your arm and stick it in her eye. NoodlesAtNight 8:47 pm [[Sedated him right proper, he sees.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 8:47 pm ((I'd love to see a movie go all in on showing how dumb that is.)) opatoes 8:47 pm imagine if he just like. put the iv back in NoodlesAtNight 8:47 pm ((in fairness, gotham sorta did)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:47 pm *snickers every time he falls or stumbles* NoodlesAtNight 8:47 pm ((with alfred anyway, not fish)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:47 pm KEHHEHH SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:47 pm This is a very fancy torture prison. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:47 pm Him suck at walking opatoes 8:47 pm what a walk cycle! chronosmith 8:48 pm *dryly* The best ones usually are. *takes another swig* Kelpy 8:48 pm I guess they really don't like to show faces Chaoit 8:48 pm ...... SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:48 pm Fair. *the dragon can't really dispute that* NoodlesAtNight 8:48 pm //Don't flop over now, buddy. 'S a long way down 'n you ain't got wings.// MedicalMurdersaurus 8:48 pm YAH Movie stuck MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm Never ever FLIER chronosmith 8:49 pm No, he absolutely should. He should jump. Darkscream 8:49 pm *Glances at the movie with a snort then back to Ravage.* Hrm. Happen to have a Praxis Crash? [*totally making this up*] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:49 pm He definitely should. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm Flier get away *blows raspberries* opatoes 8:49 pm None of this sounds healthy MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm ((THAT FUCKING subtitle)) ((good god XD)) NoodlesAtNight 8:49 pm ((i missed it what was it)) chronosmith 8:49 pm ((KEEPIN U ON YOUR TOES)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm ((who puts a subtitle in the upper right hand corner?)) Me 8:49 pm ((bouncing around everywhere)) opatoes 8:50 pm ((i get that they're trying to make it match the location but like. just put it in the bottom center area!! Me 8:50 pm ((like a pong match)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:50 pm Well, that's one way to not gain someone's trust. Chaoit 8:50 pm ((ick NoodlesAtNight 8:50 pm =Praxis Crash?= *It's been a while since someone asked for a Klingon/Praxus mix. Usually that's the kind of thing their own Prowl runs for.* =Yes. A moment.= MedicalMurdersaurus 8:50 pm ((I literally feel like I'm at the eye doctor where they make you stare at the center and ask you to click that little thing every time a spot of light shows up in the periphery of your vision)) Kelpy 8:51 pm They're super bad at explaining anything anywhere Chaoit 8:51 pm .............. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:51 pm *the dragon winces* That's a torture device. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:51 pm ?? Chaoit 8:51 pm -nope- opatoes 8:51 pm ... So, is this like the cortical psychic patch but for humans from different points in time? chronosmith 8:51 pm I swear to god, these two had better not end up in one of those dumb romances. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:51 pm *don't mind her, she's just going to scratch at the back of her head* NoodlesAtNight 8:51 pm [[Apparently.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 8:51 pm keheeheh chronosmith 8:51 pm If they don't end this movie as arch-enemies then I call bullshit. NoodlesAtNight 8:51 pm *He's silently grateful Ravage told him to tell Prowl not to come.* opatoes 8:51 pm You know, for the patch's credit, at least it doesn't physically lift you up! Me 8:51 pm ((this is such bullshit science lmao)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:52 pm ((I know right)) ((it's so bad)) opatoes 8:52 pm I wish I had DNA Me 8:52 pm ((SEARCHING DNA FOR TIMEFRAME ASFGDKGH)) Chaoit 8:52 pm ((so much bs right here SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:52 pm Why do you want DNA? opatoes 8:52 pm So I can travel through time, apparently! Kelpy 8:52 pm //"Let's say science words, they'll nevrr know were making it up Chaoit 8:52 pm That...didn't look like it was....what is going on? SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:53 pm ...I implore you to trust me- that is not how DNA works. Darkscream 8:53 pm *Having no idea anyone else would of ordered the same, Darkscream fiddles with her bag of currency. Getting out the appropriate credits for Ravage. Everything on the movie was NONSENSE.* opatoes 8:53 pm ... Really? Man, what a disappointment. Kelpy 8:53 pm Did thery just dump him into a time portal Or did he fall into something else NoodlesAtNight 8:53 pm [[Of course it isn't. He's never traveled through time simply by inspecting a memory. If anyone could have done it, he would have.]] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:53 pm You can clone beings and create new ones with DNA. But definitely not travel through time. opatoes 8:53 pm ... Actually, can I use the patch on myself? I want to remember things. chronosmith 8:53 pm *sidelong look at Soundwave* NoodlesAtNight 8:53 pm [[They dipped him into his own memory, he thinks.]] [[...What?]] opatoes 8:54 pm ... What? chronosmith 8:54 pm What? SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:54 pm What? Kelpy 8:54 pm What MedicalMurdersaurus 8:54 pm hi NoodlesAtNight 8:54 pm *Ravage paws the credits off the counter and passes over the drink. Enjoy.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:54 pm Hi, Swoop. chronosmith 8:54 pm *now looks at Swoop* What? MedicalMurdersaurus 8:54 pm *waves* chronosmith 8:55 pm *nods solemnly. Time for another swig* Darkscream 8:55 pm *DNA time travelling is silly. Smiles as she takes the drink.* Thanks, Ravage. *Lets her wings relax, keeping them out of his view too, and sips at the drink. Sighing at the good taste.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:55 pm *snarls* Eaten take them. chronosmith 8:56 pm Wow, those weapons aren't obvious at all. opatoes 8:56 pm Actually, Soundwave- any idea if you can, like, use the patch on bots that aren't online anymore? Hypothetically? chronosmith 8:56 pm ...Okay, that was pretty sick. NoodlesAtNight 8:56 pm [[/He/ cannot.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 8:56 pm *SHRIEKS with laughter* NoodlesAtNight 8:56 pm *But he has heard that those with needles can. And that is frightening.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:56 pm *the dragon churrs delightedly* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:56 pm Death from ABOVE ekehehhehhhehh Kelpy 8:56 pm Oh. opatoes 8:57 pm Wait, seriously? ... How likely is it that a bot with needles has done that, do you think? They clean their needles every time, right? Kelpy 8:57 pm [coughs] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:57 pm Did the female assassin just beat a man with a spinning stick? NoodlesAtNight 8:57 pm [[He doesn't know and doesn't care to think about it.]] Chaoit 8:57 pm -shrinking back- I really don't like the general premise of this movie... SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:57 pm It's about rebels killing torturers and mind-controllers. I'm enjoying the premise immensely. NoodlesAtNight 8:58 pm [[Agreed.]] chronosmith 8:58 pm I know a mnemosurgeon who can. Or, he used to be able to. Probably isn't allowed anymore. opatoes 8:58 pm /Smokescreen's rubbing the back of his neck, feeling a bit grossed out./ NoodlesAtNight 8:58 pm [[Oh? Who?]] Chaoit 8:58 pm I mean how they're seeing all this NoodlesAtNight 8:58 pm *Takes note of Blaster's discomfort. Hm.* chronosmith 8:58 pm Chromedome. Only mnemosurgeon I know, really. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:58 pm Oh, the scientific premise is complete garbage, if that's what bothers you. chronosmith 8:58 pm His junxie doesn't like him injecting, though. NoodlesAtNight 8:58 pm [[His - what?]] Kelpy 8:58 pm Conjunx. NoodlesAtNight 8:59 pm [[Oh. Rewind? What has he got against it?]] MedicalMurdersaurus 8:59 pm mmm-nemo opatoes 8:59 pm I know, like, three mnemosurgeons and one of them is offlined, another is a bot I'd never let use his drills on me, and the other- he's not that skilled at it yet. Kelpy 8:59 pm I never actually asked why he doesn't like it. Chaoit 8:59 pm -winces- SpecsTheSpectralDragon 8:59 pm ...Anything you use to pull precious cargo is not that stupid, right? Right? chronosmith 9:00 pm Bad for his health. *dryly* Rewind has a vested interest in keeping Chromedome around. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:00 pm What muh-nemo means? opatoes 9:00 pm But Chromedome? How good is he at that stuff? I guess he probably shouldn't do it, but still, it might not hurt to ask him about the stuff sometimes! SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:00 pm It is that stupid. Chaoit 9:00 pm -heights! Nope!- Darkscream 9:00 pm *Watching the movie with mild interest/disinterest. It's all so BROWN and not very interesting.* chronosmith 9:00 pm Apparently that sort of this is addictive. *waves a claw* He's been trying to quit. Rewind's there to make SURE it happens. NoodlesAtNight 9:00 pm [[Addictive? He experiences withdrawals if he does not do it?]] chronosmith 9:01 pm Maybe? I dunno. You'd have to ask him. And, I mean... I saw him pull the memories out of a mech who had just been killed by a sparkeater. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:01 pm Gee, look at all those symbols just like the one that the bad guys use. I wonder if it's a sign. chronosmith 9:01 pm He's PRETTY good. Kelpy 9:01 pm I remember that. That's when I found my bar. opatoes 9:01 pm ... So, Apple got really big in this world, I guess. NoodlesAtNight 9:02 pm \\HAH\\ opatoes 9:02 pm Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night! MedicalMurdersaurus 9:02 pm PFFF chronosmith 9:02 pm PFFT. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:02 pm Does he need his offspring to do everything for him? Make his science, write his speeches, put on his clothes? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:02 pm CURE violence? pffffffffffffffffffffffff chronosmith 9:02 pm I know, right? NoodlesAtNight 9:02 pm *Soundwave makes a note to install some sort of self-destruct device in case he ever dies alone in the presence of mnemosurgeons.* Darkscream 9:03 pm *Slips her bag back into subspace so she didn't forget about it later. Tilts her helm towards Blaster. Hums a moment then raises her voice just enough to get his attention.* Blaster! Come sit over here. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:03 pm Piteous traitor to his kind. If I felt pity for the creature. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:04 pm ... I'm going to compost every human in that building. NoodlesAtNight 9:04 pm [[Do.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:04 pm ((this is the most expositiony conversation I've heard in eons)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:04 pm I'd threaten to eat them, but I fear I'd get poisoning from it. chronosmith 9:04 pm On the one hand I wanna say this is cartoonishly evil, but I mean. This is more or less what Functionists were like, so. opatoes 9:04 pm I wish I had a brotherhood ... I wish I had brothers SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:05 pm Compost the creatures and reuse them for better purposes. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:05 pm Brothers are AWESOME Kelpy 9:05 pm They'd posion the plants. Me 9:05 pm ((that was SUCH a hamhanded infodump)) NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm //Only sometimes.// \\HEY!\\ opatoes 9:05 pm You have brothers, Swoop? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:05 pm YAH SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:05 pm Like not being evil and wasting air. chronosmith 9:05 pm *snickers* NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm *Rumble cackles and leans over to bop Frenzy.* Me 9:05 pm ((anyway i'm renaming the head villain dude jeff bezos)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:05 pm Grimlock, Sludge, Slag, Snarl, Slash. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:05 pm ((valid)) chronosmith 9:05 pm ((ndjwfd)) NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm ((oh excellent)) opatoes 9:06 pm Man, I'm kinda jealous! Anybody want a new brother? NoodlesAtNight 9:06 pm {{...Who Slash?}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:06 pm Her Slash is a RAPTOR opatoes 9:06 pm You've got a huge family, Swoop! Chaoit 9:06 pm -whelp, may not totally recognize the flier, but going over all the same- chronosmith 9:06 pm I'm good. The last thing I need is to burden anyone with a relation to ME. NoodlesAtNight 9:06 pm {{When her made? Bird not recognize.}} SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:06 pm I have a brother. Probably other siblings, too, but he's the only one I've actually met. opatoes 9:06 pm Specs, would you like another brother? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:06 pm Uhhh dunno! Her Slash just *makes upward gestures* and there! Darkscream 9:06 pm *There are six Dinobots now? Well seven if Paddles counts.* Kelpy 9:06 pm [pats Smokey] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:07 pm I'd be your sister, Whirl, but I'm afraid I'm just too fuzzy for you. Me 9:07 pm ((... so let's say this "genetic memory" thing is real.)) opatoes 9:07 pm /Sigh, leaning against Swerve!/ ... What about you, Swerve? Kelpy 9:07 pm Yeah sure. opatoes 9:07 pm Wait, really? chronosmith 9:07 pm Fuzziness is no obstacle. I'm just not taking applications. Me 9:07 pm ((if it's a real thing, then that means that all this happened before aguilar passed on his genes to his descendant)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:07 pm ...I mean, I'd have to find my parents to do that. I could locate them, but I don't think anyone would enjoy that. Kelpy 9:07 pm I have no idea how it works but sure. Me 9:07 pm ((so, we can say, with 100% certainty, that aguilar will fuck AT LEAST one time in the future.)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:07 pm That's also an obstacle, yes. I'm happy to just be your friend, anyways. opatoes 9:07 pm Awesome! Wait, how old are you, Swerve? I'm your older brother, right? NoodlesAtNight 9:08 pm ((lmfao)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:08 pm ((the science checks out)) chronosmith 9:08 pm ((scientifically speaking, he WILL fuck)) Lord, this lady is insufferable. Someone PLEASE kill her. Please. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:08 pm ((how great would it be if they were getting ready for the big crazy fight that the whole story had been leading up to and he decided to have one last hurrah in a bar and then the memories just STOP cause he got someone knocked up?)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:08 pm I would, but I can't reach into the screen and murder her. Kelpy 9:08 pm Awhile SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:08 pm ((SWOOP PLEASE)) Me 9:08 pm ((LMAO)) ((NICE)) Kelpy 9:08 pm //god i did the math once but i forgot what it was that swerve's age was lmao Darkscream 9:09 pm She's probably going to die at the end of the movie. NoodlesAtNight 9:09 pm ((i would laugh my head off)) opatoes 9:09 pm ... Well, you wouldn't be older than me, right, Swerve? Darkscream 9:09 pm *Really doesn't care at all for this group. It is just a movie, so she's not attached at ALL.* opatoes 9:09 pm I'm not sure I'm younger brother material! NoodlesAtNight 9:09 pm ((she sounds like what's-his-holes with the whole "cold constructed bots are all horrible")) chronosmith 9:09 pm We can only hope. *grimly toasts Darkscream and takes another long draught of his Gaugebuster* Kelpy 9:09 pm Depends, I'm like. Hmmm. I forgot, but older than the war. Darkscream 9:10 pm [This makes me want the Prince of Persia movie. THAT WAS INTERESTING] Chaoit 9:10 pm -pokes at the new flier- I recognize you, from somewhere opatoes 9:10 pm ... I'm just a bit older than the war. Who was Prime when you first came online? Chaoit 9:10 pm -after he's seated nearby- NoodlesAtNight 9:10 pm ((and the plan to do the killswitch and all that)) chronosmith 9:10 pm ((Tyrest!)) Kelpy 9:10 pm It was the one before Sentinel. Me 9:10 pm ((GENETICALLY EEEEEEVIL)) Me 9:11 pm ((ur right, she'd get along with tyrest)) opatoes 9:11 pm ... That was Nova, right? So- So I guess you're older than me, basically. Darkscream 9:11 pm *Grins at Blaster.* Yeah, you should. We only met once and Sideswipe was ready to tear my helm off because I had you in the sky. chronosmith 9:11 pm ...*pauses, tilting his head curiously* Since we're on the subject, and all. *looks between Rumble and Frenzy* How do brothers WORK where you guys are from? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:11 pm *his optics are going to roll right out of his head* opatoes 9:11 pm That's just weird, though. I can still call myself your older brother, right? chronosmith 9:11 pm What makes you two twins, aside from the obvious? Chaoit 9:11 pm .......oh yeah He really hates fliers Kelpy 9:11 pm Nah, I think you're younger brother material. You're all... [gestures] Bouncy. NoodlesAtNight 9:11 pm //We tell ya, then you gotta tell us how's it work where you come from. Deal?// opatoes 9:11 pm Hey, what? Come on! I'm just an energetic older brother! Chaoit 9:12 pm Like...it's a switch, almost Darkscream 9:12 pm Does he pull Jet Judo on any flyer he goes against? Kelpy 9:12 pm You can be the taller brother if I can be the older. opatoes 9:12 pm I'm not even taller right now 😔 Chaoit 9:12 pm That'd be putting it nicely Kelpy 9:12 pm You're usually taller. Chaoit 9:13 pm During the war, if we didn't have a flier of our own, we'd send in Sides Me 9:13 pm ((look at him, demonstrating all that FREE WILL)) chronosmith 9:13 pm I've got no idea how it works HERE, either. Never thought to ask anyone. opatoes 9:13 pm True... Fine, I guess I'll be the taller brother. /Grumbling, doorwings flicking./ Kelpy 9:13 pm [pats] If he's been dead two hundred years, how is he here. chronosmith 9:13 pm Apparently Minimus Ambus--the dude in our Ultra Magnus suit, currently--had a spark-brother, but that's the full gamut of my expertise on the subject. NoodlesAtNight 9:13 pm [[His assassin-person has been dead two hundred years.]] opatoes 9:13 pm EAT IT Kelpy 9:14 pm Oh. Darkscream 9:14 pm Autobots back home didn't have flyers either until Swoop was created with the Dinobots. Then game the airealbots after that. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were pure devils before that. NoodlesAtNight 9:14 pm //Well, y'find out, you tell us. We'll give ya the details anyhow.// MedicalMurdersaurus 9:14 pm *perks up when he hears his name* Hi! opatoes 9:14 pm /Leaning against Swerve./ Me 9:15 pm ((if they want to brainwash him into thinking he's doing the right thing by giving them the apple, why are they letting him hang out with all the people who know they're supposed to guard the apple and want to talk him out of handing it over?)) Chaoit 9:15 pm We had our own, but...they were taken out quickly, something about politics and stuff Darkscream 9:15 pm *Waves a servo.* Hi Swoop. I'd love to chat when you're not busy. *Smiles. She's more relaxed now than when she came in.* chronosmith 9:15 pm *salutes Rumble* You got my solid word. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:16 pm Me Swoop hang out with Her Bird. *points at Laserbeak so we're all on the same page* Me 9:16 pm ((why didn't they, just, put him on a different floor and go "oh, yeah, you're the last surviving ancestor of this assassin's club, all the other genetic lines of the other assassins died off over time because their descendants were violent malcontents.")) Chaoit 9:16 pm And Sides...I think he was taught by a flier. Because he doesn't just grab for the wings. He grounds them NoodlesAtNight 9:16 pm ((because Evil is Stupid i guess)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:17 pm ((what the fuck happened)) ((I wasn't paying enough attention)) Me 9:17 pm ((it's the musical episode)) Kelpy 9:17 pm //lmao SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:17 pm ((CLEARLY)) Darkscream 9:17 pm As I said, when you're not busy. I can always catch you after the movie? *Waves to Laserbeak so she wasn't left out then turns to Blaster.* Oh I know. I've seen it happen. I had it happen once to myself... Darkscream 9:19 pm *Clears her vocoder.* And I've crashed hard plenty of times before from stalling while trying to keep Sideswipe from crashing when we were on good terms. Taking jet surfing to new heights; literally. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:19 pm ...Torture chambers are bad places to kiss. Kelpy 9:19 pm //they are so bad at making things visile i honestly can't even see either of them lmao SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:19 pm ((I know right)) NoodlesAtNight 9:19 pm ((if you're on LD changing to HD helps a lot)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:19 pm ((that's why I just wasn't watching until they put him back into the animus)) Kelpy 9:19 pm //it is on ld unfortunately lmao Kelpy 9:19 pm //hd* Chaoit 9:19 pm Jet surfing? Kelpy 9:20 pm Seems like their primus is mean opatoes 9:20 pm man i wish i could see our past like this chronosmith 9:20 pm Thank god we CAN'T. Darkscream 9:20 pm Mhm. It's a bit of a willing jet judo. Keeping to my alternate form, Sideswipe kept his pedes positioned so he wouldn't slide off my winds, and we'd go flying. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:20 pm I don't think I would enjoy the experience of being burned alive. chronosmith 9:21 pm There's not a single day in my past I'd rather live than right here, right now. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:21 pm ((am I the only one having clone wars flashbacks?)) chronosmith 9:21 pm ...*pauses* That. Came out sounding a lot more optimistic than I intended. opatoes 9:21 pm Hey, I'll try anything once. Chaoit 9:21 pm Sounds dangerous SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:22 pm ((what is with red bird man)) NoodlesAtNight 9:22 pm //So, Frenzy 'n I, we got us kinda the same spark, sorta. Ain't stable enough for holdin' together - somethin' with the types of fields 'n speeds 'n scrap - so it busted up. Two parts, smaller ones. They was strong enough to hold up by themselves, so they got busy growin' both of us. Coupla changes on account of the splittin' - don't everythin' come out the same most times - but real close. Happens to all kindsa sparks, but most the time it makes minis like us. Anyhow, means he 'n I sorta got a weird bond without askin' for it. Ain't super telepathic like the Boss, 'n I can't do no talkin' to him, but we know stuff's happenin' 'bout each other. Feel it.// Darkscream 9:22 pm It can be if either party isn't careful. I've torn up my wings saving Sideswipe's skidplate. Forgot his jetpack to be looser and he fell. I couldn't reach him in time and... yeah... I transformed and hit the ground HARD. Tore up my back and wings pretty badly. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:23 pm ((did they just subtitle it... and "speaks spanish" it)) opatoes 9:23 pm .... So, basically at this institute, they're doing historical LARPing? chronosmith 9:23 pm *now turns his full attention to the explanation, Maximum Attentive Mode, antenna perked forward and everything* Chaoit 9:23 pm Yeesh Yeah, I'm not doing that SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:23 pm At least remove the restraints. NoodlesAtNight 9:23 pm //Same thing with the Birds. 'N Buzzsaw's sweetie 'n his bro - think they was supposed to be somethin' real strong. Sunstreaker's half spins way fast 'n burns super hot. Sideswipe don't.// Chaoit 9:23 pm -not looking at the screen, not looking at the screen- opatoes 9:24 pm I WANNA JUMP ON ROOFS Chaoit 9:24 pm -why the HEIGHTS!?- Darkscream 9:24 pm *Laughs.* I wouldn't ever ask you to. It really is dumb, but we did it anyway. *Sips at her Praxis Crash.* Chaoit 9:24 pm -he looked at the screen at a bad time- Darkscream 9:25 pm *Can block Blaster's view with a wing? They could move up and down to a point.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:25 pm ((It seems to be implying he's going to knock this chick up but that doesn't make a ton of sense because then couldn't whatshisface in present day see this fight from both their POVs equally?)) Chaoit 9:25 pm -oh good- Me 9:25 pm ((not if they decided to only sync to one of them and chose him instead of her)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:25 pm ((the argument seems to be that they can hone in on which one it is via the Y chromosome)) Chaoit 9:26 pm Yeah, you remember how well me and heights got along chronosmith 9:26 pm Huh. *that's honestly kind of interesting; Whirl's still pretty glad he DOESN'T have a sibling, sharing a bond like that with someone sounds pretty terrible to him, but NOT having it would probably seem pretty lonely to the twins* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:26 pm ((hence why no ladies are in here)) opatoes 9:26 pm Swerve, how rebuilt is your Cybertron? Can I go over and hop on roofs? Me 9:26 pm ((there was at least one lady in the cafeteria.)) chronosmith 9:26 pm ((MITOCHONDRIAL DNA WOULD GIVE THEM SO MUCH MORE MILEAGE THO)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:26 pm ((I will accept the Y chromosome explanation)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:26 pm ((WHY IS THERE A HORSE ON THE ROOF)) NoodlesAtNight 9:26 pm ((yeah, the y explanation wouldn't work cuz there's lady assassins in game too)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:26 pm ((even if you are right that going maternally would be more useful)) Darkscream 9:26 pm Mhm. First hand experience. Least I now know if the case ever comes up. Kelpy 9:26 pm Uh, I mean it's mostly just Iacon right now though.... No, I don't think they'd let you. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:26 pm ((I KNOW O MIGHTY WORM)) ((but these are dumbasses)) SCProwl 9:26 pm ((i'll accept it if the next assassin is amab in the next game opatoes 9:27 pm Aww... I wonder if it would be wrong for me to jump on roofs around my Cybertron. chronosmith 9:27 pm ((...OR AT LEAST EQUAL MILEAGE)) opatoes 9:27 pm I mean, it can't be worse PR than dying and getting possessed by Unicron, right? Kelpy 9:27 pm Er. Darkscream 9:27 pm *Coughs on her drink hearing Smokescreen.* /What/ Chaoit 9:27 pm Yeah...still. Sorry about how Sides reacted Me 9:27 pm ((so yeah if these are BOTH his ancestors it's, like... real fucked up... if they keep going "oh yeah, he's this dude's descendant, this one dude, only the dude, check out this dude he's descended from" when literally she is rrrright there, in the same time period)) opatoes 9:27 pm ... That bot's okay now! SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:27 pm To be fair, dying and being possessed by an evil god is very bad PR. Chaoit 9:28 pm .......... Kelpy 9:28 pm //tbf i think it was said that he's the last one confirmed/known to have the apple and they are Speficially Searching for where he hid it MedicalMurdersaurus 9:28 pm ((I hate how they keep cutting away from the parkour to show us him on a CGI rig. It totally takes you out of what could be a cool practical stunt by showing clearly fake shit.)) Chaoit 9:28 pm -going to ignore that bit about Unicron- SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:28 pm ((I didn't mean "only male assassins ever" by the Y chromosome I mostly meant "this is why they're using a dude and not any of the female descendants")) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:29 pm Oh, that looks like brain damage. Kelpy 9:29 pm //p sure their reasoning is bc it was aguilar who had the appl laste, and not any specificdna reasons Me 9:29 pm ((but they DO have a female descendant in the cafeteria, i'm saying.)) NoodlesAtNight 9:29 pm [[...Interesting.]] opatoes 9:29 pm it looks like his model froze on an animation clip! Kelpy 9:29 pm Did he just die NoodlesAtNight 9:29 pm *So he's not the only one who suffers physically if he suffers in his head.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:29 pm ((wait, they do?)) ((I didn't see her)) Me 9:30 pm ((clearly they're not tracking by the y chromosome if they've got her there. unless she's trans or has a y chromosome, but somehow i doubt they thought it through that far)) Darkscream 9:30 pm *Bloody old gods. Looks back at Blaster.* Uh... Anyway. It's fine. Not going to be the first time or the last I'm sure. Sideswipe doesn't trust me. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:30 pm ((like I said I haven't been following real closely on the non assassin parts)) chronosmith 9:30 pm I dunno if that's how OURS work, but that seems like... the simplest way for it to happen. *he's not going to say so aloud, because it would be VERY CHEESY, and even though he's had plenty of liquor, he hasn't lost ALL of his decorum, but... he's glad the twins turned out the way they did. They're a lot more fun as two different people that he imagines they would be as a whole* Chaoit 9:30 pm Sideswipe's _paranoid_ to levels I'm worried about MedicalMurdersaurus 9:30 pm Her dumb MedicalMurdersaurus 9:31 pm Pain is fun : > Darkscream 9:31 pm How paranoid? Chaoit 9:32 pm He trained under Jazz NoodlesAtNight 9:32 pm *They wouldn't wanna be one person either. It's fun combining into an alt mode, and their split state probably makes that easier than it would be, but they like being different.* //Bet it ain't so different. You guys got hot spots, right? Maybe it's two sparks popped up real close together, or somethin'.// //Mixed stuff up.// *Mashes his fists together and makes a sort of "pchoom" noise.* Darkscream 9:33 pm Oh. Yeah. Training under the Spec Ops would lead to that, but it couldn't be all of Jazz's input to why Sideswipe is like that. chronosmith 9:33 pm Or one spark, and the sentio metallico sort of split it while it was forming. *matches Rumble's very informative gesture with one of his own, a big, massive pinch of his claw* Dunno if you can MAKE twins, though, the Cold Constructed way... I'd guess not? Chaoit 9:33 pm I...don't think I'm at liberty to tell the rest of his reasons Chaoit 9:34 pm But he's quick to react to even perceived threats chronosmith 9:34 pm Of COURSE she won't. Kelpy 9:34 pm [half listening] Branched spark twins are formed when the sentiuio splits itself between two sparks and bonds to both, instead of bonding to only one. I've never seen how a split spark forms. chronosmith 9:35 pm *perks up, looks to Swerve, and then gestures grandly* I'd trust the metallurgist on this one. Darkscream 9:35 pm *Leans back against the bar. Sips her drink.* Given he reacted the way he did to me, I'd venture a guess that Sideswipe had his home destroyed on a bombing run by a squad of Seekers... NoodlesAtNight 9:35 pm \\SO LIKE. ONE GLOB, TWO SPARKS?\\ Kelpy 9:35 pm Yeah, basically. So their bodies both experience the same thing. Sort of sharing a nervous system? Chaoit 9:35 pm ......... NoodlesAtNight 9:36 pm //Probably nicer 'n pinchin'.// *Whirl's idea looked kinda painful.* Darkscream 9:36 pm *Sighs.* I'd have a frag of a time getting to know him, wouldn't I? Assuming I could even get close. I'd just /scream/ threat because of my Seeker-state, huh? Kelpy 9:36 pm I've never seen the split spark form, so I can't say for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was a result of unstable formation. Chaoit 9:37 pm Yeah....he'd....he'd not react well chronosmith 9:37 pm Probably. Pinching is generally pretty unpleasant. Darkscream 9:38 pm *Sips her drink in thought.* I'd have to look... less threatening, wouldn't I? Be an entirely different form. Even then it'd be a game of decepticon. Darkscream 9:39 pm [RIGHT] Chaoit 9:39 pm You'd have to work hard at that.... Kelpy 9:39 pm //exposiitiion Darkscream 9:39 pm [Primus is WTF at that apple Chaoit 9:40 pm The odds are really stacked against you, though NoodlesAtNight 9:40 pm [[...This facility must go through a great many employees.]] [[He hopes they offer good life insurance.]] Kelpy 9:40 pm //Everyone: apple is important, don't tell them how to find it! dude: i'm gonna give it to them so they kill my dad chronosmith 9:41 pm It's almost like re-connecting your unwilling prisoners to their ancient roots as highly-trained assassins is... *dramatic gasp* Backfiring. Darkscream 9:41 pm [welp, gee rabbit, you kicked me out SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:41 pm ((oi)) Chaoit 9:42 pm ((rabbit, you butt Darkscream 9:42 pm If it's changing my form that's the issue, Blaster, then it isn't that big of a problem. Chaoit 9:42 pm I don't think it'd be fair to you, though. NoodlesAtNight 9:42 pm \\NO, NEVER! SURELY NOT!\\ *Frenzy clutches his chest plates in mock shock and then doubles over laughing* Chaoit 9:42 pm And...he's not going to recover if he keeps this up NoodlesAtNight 9:42 pm \\COURSE IT'S BACKFIRIN'.\\ NoodlesAtNight 9:43 pm \\DUMB TEMPLE FRAGGERS.\\ SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:43 pm ((STOP "SPEAKING SPANISH" YOU ASSHOLE SUBTITLES)) Darkscream 9:43 pm Wouldn't be the first time I've looked different for interacting with others. Think I always look this way when I'm in another universe? chronosmith 9:43 pm I don't care what the official name of these guys is, from now on, they're "Temple Fraggers." Darkscream 9:43 pm [*SCREAMS IN SKELETON* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:43 pm Seconded. Temple Fraggers it is. Me 9:43 pm (("temple fraggers," the colloquial term for cityspeakers)) NoodlesAtNight 9:43 pm ((OMG)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:43 pm ((PUFF NO)) ((I'M EATING DON'T MAKE ME INHALE MY OWN FOOD)) NoodlesAtNight 9:43 pm [[...Such beautiful walls.]] chronosmith 9:44 pm ((HAHAHHA)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:44 pm ((Soooo how are we seeing this? No one related to anyone is in that room.)) Kelpy 9:44 pm Couldn't he give them a decoy apple NoodlesAtNight 9:45 pm ((they're peeking from above.)) chronosmith 9:45 pm ((PEEEPIN)) Chaoit 9:45 pm ((pfff MedicalMurdersaurus 9:45 pm ((ahhh. I can't keep straight who is where relative to each other.)) Me 9:45 pm ((who's doing that)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:45 pm ((the faces thing?)) Me 9:45 pm ((yes)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:46 pm ((I don't know)) Chaoit 9:46 pm ((please stop MedicalMurdersaurus 9:46 pm ((hell if I know)) Kelpy 9:46 pm //dfgg my pc doesn't like it SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:46 pm Ooooh, blood water. NoodlesAtNight 9:46 pm [[Let her perish. It is what is right.]] Kelpy 9:46 pm Stalemate NoodlesAtNight 9:46 pm [[She told you to let her die.]] chronosmith 9:46 pm She should kill herself first. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:47 pm She really ought to. NoodlesAtNight 9:47 pm [[Fool.]] Kelpy 9:47 pm He lost his leverage chronosmith 9:47 pm Honestly, how stupid. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:47 pm He... He stabbed her? Darkscream 9:47 pm *Sips. That was dumb.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:47 pm For... No reason? NoodlesAtNight 9:47 pm [[Why would he not? It removes a threat.]] opatoes 9:48 pm I zoned out what are they fighting for? NoodlesAtNight 9:48 pm [[He likely would have even if he received the apple.]] Chaoit 9:48 pm You change appearances in different timelines? chronosmith 9:48 pm It was the only thing keeping that guy at bay. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:48 pm Exactly. Darkscream 9:49 pm *Small sigh.* Takes some of the tension out when we know he survives because we're going "back in time" to view this happening. Me 9:49 pm ((remember: he still must fuck at least once)) Kelpy 9:49 pm Maybe a bit SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:49 pm ((he must fuck before he can die)) NoodlesAtNight 9:50 pm [[We do not know that he survives. They say he was the last to see it. They do not say for how long, or that he lived past that.]] chronosmith 9:50 pm Oh no. It's a tragedy... that character whose name I can't be arsed to remember is dead. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:50 pm Did they even ever name her? Darkscream 9:50 pm *Turns to Blaster.* I do. I might not be one of Amal' offspring, but I've got technology that far surpasses even our own that lets me change. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:50 pm ((seriously, did they name her?)) Chaoit 9:50 pm ....seriously? chronosmith 9:51 pm I legitimately could not tell you. Darkscream 9:51 pm *Nods.* SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:51 pm I cannot remember either. Kelpy 9:51 pm PLot twist this is where he dies. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:51 pm Ugh, look at that disgusting little man. Chaoit 9:51 pm That's...kinda amazing NoodlesAtNight 9:51 pm ((maria.)) Me 9:51 pm ((I BELIEVE I CAN FLY)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:51 pm ((uh no)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:51 pm ((THEY BROKE THE ARM)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:51 pm (( LOL)) Darkscream 9:52 pm *Laughs.* It is, isn't it? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:52 pm ((he jumped SO HARD in the past that he broke a machine IN THE FUTURE)) Chaoit 9:52 pm Like, what can it do? Kelpy 9:52 pm Are they reading his mind while he's in the memory then Darkscream 9:53 pm It's quite the all-in-one. I can travel through the slips between universes, change my appearance as a Cybertronian, and even take on the form of more organic races such as humans. I still have a solid-light holoform though for when I'm in this form. Kelpy 9:54 pm //and what's that in english MedicalMurdersaurus 9:54 pm ((OMFG)) Darkscream 9:54 pm [pffff eff that guy] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:55 pm ((I don't know shit)) Me 9:55 pm ((if they can do all this--look up the date in the DNA, sync it to his mind, read his mind while he's synced to his ancestor's DNA save file--why can't they just... read the save file. wouldn't that be a lot easier than getting a living dude to play through it.)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:55 pm ((seriously)) Chaoit 9:55 pm That's....wow. That's a lot of things it can do. opatoes 9:55 pm ((they just enjoy LARPing)) chronosmith 9:55 pm *perks up* Why couldn't we get a movie about this guy? He's got so much more charisma. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:55 pm I know, right? NoodlesAtNight 9:55 pm ((there was some reason or other i heard once for not being able to do the direct reading but i forget it)) Darkscream 9:56 pm Mhm. It was created by a Genome, whom really was the definition of a "mad" scientist. Chaoit 9:56 pm A what? opatoes 9:56 pm I wish I had genes. My legs get really cold sometimes! SCProwl 9:56 pm ((I'm fairly certain they explain they get most of the data as it's re-experienced. unless it's something like in historical records or whatever, so they can't just read the save file as it were ((in the games anyway, the movie skips some explanations obviously Kelpy 9:56 pm //will we ever know whqt he said in arabic and what they're chanting Darkscream 9:57 pm A Genome. Think of a blonde human with a monkey tail, but he's not human SpecsTheSpectralDragon 9:57 pm ((will the rest of this movie involve the historical assassin larp I care about is the queeeeeeeee oh wow fuck it up dude)) chronosmith 9:57 pm ((EEEEY)) ((bless u for that ref darskscream. Best one i n the series)) Kelpy 9:57 pm //i laughed chronosmith 9:57 pm ((... darskscream.)) Darkscream 9:57 pm [😀 ? Darkscream 9:58 pm [Me talking about Genomes, eh? Kelpy 9:58 pm //the ff9 ref chronosmith 9:58 pm ((yes |3c)) Kelpy 9:58 pm //my first ffffff Chaoit 9:58 pm ....huh chronosmith 9:58 pm So does... that mean they're related, or...? Kelpy 9:58 pm //i also then spent a decade looking for a copy after my dad sold his copy when i was like 12 ghnghvn Chaoit 9:58 pm Sounds....silly Darkscream 9:59 pm [I am a neeeeeerd who loves their references and hybrids of gaming. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:59 pm ((Who would have thought that letting a bunch of people with nothing to lose relive their badass assassin ancestor's life experiences would end poorly for you?)) opatoes 10:00 pm ... I wish I had cool ancestors. Darkscream 10:00 pm Sounds silly, but he's extremely smart. Liked to think if you caught his tail he'd pass out. It was honestly cute. spent a lot of his time in a mushroom. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:00 pm What "ancestor" mean? chronosmith 10:00 pm It's a biological thing. opatoes 10:00 pm The bots that raised the bots that raised you! And so on Kelpy 10:00 pm Does he need to be shirtless Chaoit 10:00 pm Huh opatoes 10:01 pm Yes SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:01 pm ((fuck em up lady)) chronosmith 10:01 pm That was the most hilarious *air quote claws* "Security Guard" rush I've ever seen. opatoes 10:01 pm If he didn't, he'd die from heat stroke or something, I think? Me 10:01 pm ((i kind of feel like "nothing is true and everything is permitted" is more the kind of philosophy that leads to redpill MRAs than to badass diverse assassins that challenge the church and protect free will.)) MedicalMurdersaurus 10:01 pm ((to be fair, taking off clothes in a sword fight back in the day was a good way to avoid getting fibers in a stab wound and dying of infection)) Chaoit 10:01 pm Well, I don't doubt the smart part, considering what he made for you NoodlesAtNight 10:01 pm ((if i am glad for One Thing about this movie it is that we get at least a decent variety of people being the assassins in modern day)) Darkscream 10:01 pm I came from a very strange place. John was one of the more normal things. I had Tyrannids running around, Zerg causing havoc, Orks being badass, and even some Protoss. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:01 pm *the dragon perks up* I know a protoss. NoodlesAtNight 10:01 pm ((however briefly)) Me 10:01 pm ((yes, i was very pleased to see that)) Chaoit 10:02 pm ....come again? chronosmith 10:02 pm ((Yeah! And subtle note, I like that there are male and female security guards who are treated equally as threats)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:02 pm Protoss. Plant creatures. He's called Byandar. Darkscream 10:02 pm M'not sure we're thinking of the same Protoss? Kelpy 10:02 pm How great would it be if all that suspense and drama and the Columbus thing was a fake out and the apple isn't there at all. chronosmith 10:02 pm Too clever for this snorefest. Darkscream 10:02 pm I lived in a very chaotic world, Blaster. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:03 pm Two, three meters tall? Come in Khalai, Nerazim, and Tal'darim varieties? Bipedal, digitigrade? Chaoit 10:03 pm I can tell Darkscream 10:03 pm Psykers. NoodlesAtNight 10:03 pm ((also re: the philosophy - it may sound like that but you _do_ get a lot of protecting people from that kind of asshole in during the games)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:03 pm Yes, that too. The "no mouths" thing does tip one off. Darkscream 10:03 pm *Whistful sigh.* I miss the Protoss. I don't miss the Nekrons... [I am mixing my games on purpose.] SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:04 pm Byandar seems nice enough. Painfully shy, of course. Me 10:04 pm (("my ancestor pretended to give the apple to chistopher columbus because he knew that 600 years in the future there would be strange metal contraptions powered by electircity and witchcraft that would let them look through my ancestor's eyes to see this moment.")) Darkscream 10:04 pm Though I still have a few bottles of Slaneesh wine. Me 10:04 pm ((no no, i'm sure that they actually do protect the poor and downtrodden in the game.)) Chaoit 10:04 pm ??? Me 10:04 pm ((that just seems like the wrong philosophy for people who protect the poor and downtrodden.)) NoodlesAtNight 10:04 pm ((fair)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:04 pm Anyone who would get thrown through a wormhole and then refuse to return due to social anxiety probably has some issues, though. Darkscream 10:04 pm Wish I could meet Byandar. It's been so long since I've even seen a Protoss. chronosmith 10:05 pm (("my ancestor pretended to give the apple to christopher columbus cos chris was a massive tool even then and it was a hilarious prank)) Chaoit 10:05 pm Annnnnd you've lost me SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:05 pm ((WELL GOOD NEWS BYANBYAN IS MY OC AND U CAN MEET HIM FOR 3 POTATO)) Darkscream 10:05 pm *Grins at Blaster* Sorry. Slaneesh is a God of Chaos. One of many SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:05 pm I'll have to send you his comm frequency. He could use the conversation. Darkscream 10:05 pm [*MAKES MASHED POTOATOS* GIMME Kelpy 10:06 pm IS she having all second thoughts and regrets now. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:06 pm (( protoss-menagerie.tumblr.com , or specs6262 on discord)) Kelpy 10:06 pm Because she's still a crappy villain Darkscream 10:06 pm [follow the bbe chronosmith 10:06 pm Yeah. She's like "oh nooo, I did all these horrible things that they're twisting to take away peoples' free will!" When she's been DOING that this whole damn movie. Chaoit 10:07 pm The only God of Chaos I've talked too was drunk off his aft MedicalMurdersaurus 10:07 pm ((she is not cool enuogh for that quote)) Darkscream 10:07 pm Yeah they're not /our/ gods... Kelpy 10:07 pm Didn't she like. KNow fro the START this was the plan Darkscream 10:07 pm You'd be more afraid of them than you would of Unicron. chronosmith 10:07 pm ((if we're talking about a speech about free will I can think of a line OFF THE TOP OF MY HAND that is better than that)) ((...head)) Chaoit 10:08 pm ....wonderful Just what I needed to hear Darkscream 10:08 pm Though some are just so sweet if you can stand them. Not many though. chronosmith 10:08 pm ((any one of the "falls the shadow" refrains from TS Elliot's The Hollow Men)) Darkscream 10:08 pm You don't want to meet Tzeentch unless you want to go crazy or smack him in the faces. Darkscream 10:09 pm [hnn I need to catch up on the Emperor MedicalMurdersaurus 10:09 pm ((SO I have a question. I don't know if the games answer this but, in this movie, the Apple has a complete genetic roadmap for humanity in it. Okay. I'll buy that. So why did anyone hundreds of years ago care? Even if they were super smart enough to understand genes somehow, that wouldn't be ACTIONABLE knowledge. It'd just be a fun fact.)) chronosmith 10:09 pm *exaggerated gagging noises* Chaoit 10:09 pm ..... yeah, you're not helping with that Kelpy 10:10 pm God don't romance them they'd be terrible together NoodlesAtNight 10:10 pm ((in game the apples do way, way more)) Darkscream 10:10 pm *Laughs* Just be glad you're not anywhere near Warhammer. NoodlesAtNight 10:10 pm ((from wiki: "The Apples were designed to be able to project images, conjure realistic illusions, and even turn thought into reality; hence, they were used by many great rulers throughout history, proving the efficacy of their powers")) opatoes 10:10 pm just snag it from him and eat it NoodlesAtNight 10:11 pm ((this movie is like... a gross simplification of the whole all the explanations)) Darkscream 10:11 pm How sharp was that dagger... Me 10:11 pm ((why don't the assassins, like... smash the apple)) Chaoit 10:11 pm I am chronosmith 10:11 pm Damn right you did, idiot. Kelpy 10:12 pm Don't take credit for someone else's work You're not even cool enough to do it Chaoit 10:12 pm That place sounds terrifying NoodlesAtNight 10:12 pm ((and also uhhhh where is it. "Apples also contained knowledge of technologies used by the Isu. Like many other Pieces, they were able to "communicate" with people, showing them the schematics necessary to make the technology and transferring knowledge about the manufacturing of the shown devices.[9] A good example of this was Leonardo da Vinci, who studied one of the Apples and invented four war machines, and several other weapons of technology far beyond his own time.")) ((why they didn't smash them is beyond me)) SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:12 pm Smokescreen, I think the Apple is metal. Human teeth do not eat metal. chronosmith 10:12 pm Man. this movie is so bad I can't even get into her revenge subplot. Primus. Kelpy 10:12 pm So. She let him go knowing he'd likely kill her dad, now she wants revenge? Darkscream 10:12 pm *Finishes off her drink that she's been nursing all night. A good drink was best savored.* Kelpy 10:12 pm What happened to that sudden spate of regret SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:13 pm I can't even remember her name, either. opatoes 10:13 pm Well, they could learn to eat metal! SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:13 pm ... opatoes 10:13 pm Isn't that how they get their genetic traits in this movie? Darkscream 10:13 pm And we'll never get another movie in this line because it was /boring/. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:13 pm Smokescreen please never have organic teeth. opatoes 10:13 pm I really hope I never do! Chaoit 10:13 pm Is it over? opatoes 10:13 pm I don't want my teeth to fall out Darkscream 10:13 pm Almost it seems. Dragging it out. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:13 pm I hope it's over. Chaoit 10:14 pm Sheeesh chronosmith 10:14 pm It was also ugly. Like, it felt like a chore for my damn eye. opatoes 10:14 pm 15 minutes of credits? SOUNDWAVE SOUNDWAVE JUPITER ASCENDING MedicalMurdersaurus 10:14 pm *YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWNNNSSS* chronosmith 10:14 pm ((SMOKEY NOOOOo)) Darkscream 10:14 pm [BEE] chronosmith 10:14 pm ((you're going to kill us)) Me 10:14 pm ((LORD i've never seen jupiter ascending but i kinda wanna)) ((HEY HEY BEE TRAILER BEE TRAILER)) opatoes 10:14 pm ((honestly i had a lot of fun watching it! opatoes 10:15 pm ((it's a visually nice movie i will say! Me 10:15 pm ((good action sequences)) opatoes 10:15 pm ((bees Darkscream 10:15 pm [pffft NoodlesAtNight 10:15 pm ((time marker: 10:35.)) chronosmith 10:15 pm ((I went in with lowered expectations and all it did was frustrate me at every turn. A few good ideas scattered in a mess of a movie)) Chaoit 10:15 pm ..... chronosmith 10:15 pm ((the reptile alien was cool tho)) opatoes 10:16 pm Oh! I have some useless inventions chronosmith 10:16 pm *peers* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:16 pm Bird. Me Swoop sleeeeeepy. SpecsTheSpectralDragon 10:16 pm *the dragon stretches out* I should head on back. Goodnight, Soundwave, Ravage, Whirl, everyone! NoodlesAtNight 10:16 pm [[Goodnight.]] chronosmith 10:16 pm Seeya, dragon. Darkscream 10:16 pm Human stupidity never ceases to amaze me. [specs, the bebbeh Chaoit 10:16 pm What...the.... MedicalMurdersaurus 10:17 pm *blink blinks slowly* opatoes 10:17 pm ... Soundwave, do you know any buts who could hug me? I really don't feel good shrinking and growing all the time, and I want to be back to normal. Kelpy 10:17 pm //i dunno, butterone could be useful for disabled people with hand problems from nerve damage or something Kelpy 10:17 pm //specifically, those unable to use knivves chronosmith 10:17 pm agreed)) Darkscream 10:17 pm [I had a pet rock Me 10:17 pm ((USB pet rock is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen)) chronosmith 10:17 pm ((ALSO AGREED)) NoodlesAtNight 10:18 pm [[...Tarantulas has many arms?]] *He doesn't know who does hugs. He doesn't do hugs.* chronosmith 10:18 pm ((how dare you this is an AMAZING INVENTION)) MedicalMurdersaurus 10:18 pm *streeeeeeeeeeetches his arms and wings* chronosmith 10:18 pm ...well, Ravage. opatoes 10:18 pm True! True, I'll have to ask him. He gives really, really good hugs, too. NoodlesAtNight 10:18 pm =Do and die.= chronosmith 10:18 pm When are you going to get a fabulous do? Darkscream 10:18 pm *Laughs.* NoodlesAtNight 10:18 pm *Rumble points at the baby mop.* //I wanna do that.// chronosmith 10:19 pm Pfft, I'M not going to do anything. I know nothing about fashion. I mean, seriously. *gestures to all of him* Does this look like a mech who knows FASHION? NoodlesAtNight 10:19 pm //Looks fun as frag. Wigglin' across the floor to clean it.// Chaoit 10:19 pm Anyway chronosmith 10:19 pm PFFT. Well. I mean. *snickers* One way to get Dancitron clean. Oh, oh, get this one, Ravage! Kelpy 10:19 pm I mean, doesn't look that bad??? a personal tv would be cool NoodlesAtNight 10:19 pm [[You look fashionable to him.]] Darkscream 10:19 pm M'yes, Blaster? opatoes 10:19 pm ... Give me the hat wig chronosmith 10:20 pm I question your judgment, in that case, Soundwave. But thanks. Chaoit 10:20 pm So, the thing can do quite a few things Darkscream 10:20 pm Aye? MedicalMurdersaurus 10:20 pm *slumps forward until he's folded over like he's melting mid-yoga pose* chronosmith 10:20 pm (dbnesjf THE ARMLESS ONE)) opatoes 10:20 pm .... I want one Darkscream 10:21 pm *Shrieks in laughter suddenly.* Me 10:21 pm ((okay the velcro remote control headband is the most hilarious-looking thing i've ever seen)) NoodlesAtNight 10:21 pm ((this one beats it)) chronosmith 10:21 pm *outright laughing* Chaoit 10:22 pm So, you said it allows you to change into quite a few things? Darkscream 10:22 pm *Trying to stop laughing first to talk.* Many things. NoodlesAtNight 10:23 pm *BANANAS.* Kelpy 10:23 pm //bana slicer is actually a disability tool NoodlesAtNight 10:23 pm [[...This looks useful.]] chronosmith 10:23 pm ((SOUNDWAVE'S WEAPON OF CHOICE)) Me 10:23 pm ((A WEAPON TO USE AGAINST YOUR ENEMIES SOUNDWAVE)) ((oh the zigzag one is cute)) NoodlesAtNight 10:23 pm ((i honestly like things that slice things for me)) Chaoit 10:23 pm ......... Kelpy 10:23 pm //like it's legit created and marketed for those with disabilityes involing their hands Me 10:24 pm ((i believe it. it looks like an actual disability aid)) NoodlesAtNight 10:24 pm ((that's good!! and very very useful)) ((chopping things is nervewracking when you've got shaky hands, at the very least)) Chaoit 10:24 pm How often have you needed to use it, though? chronosmith 10:24 pm ((yeah, a lot of "useless" infomercial stuff is specifically designed as tools for folks with disabilities!)) Kelpy 10:24 pm //i read an article earlier and they quoted the company who makes it and yeah, it's a legitmiately marked disability aid for those who've had strokes, or the elderly with shaking hands. the sock puller upper is ALSO a disability tool chronosmith 10:24 pm Spin the bottle? MedicalMurdersaurus 10:25 pm *starts breathign deeply* NoodlesAtNight 10:25 pm ((i have never seen these videos so i apologize if more disability aids get into them, i am mostly curious about stuff like this electric spin the bottle rubbish)) MedicalMurdersaurus 10:25 pm *is now a one dino-pile* Darkscream 10:25 pm More often than you'd think. I've traveled quite often through the multiverse... and I think Swoop passed out. chronosmith 10:25 pm ((You're good neddles! I know you'd give a much more tasteful commentary if it was you <3 )) Kelpy 10:25 pm //lmao i've never seen them either but yeah a lot of the useless invention videos include them bc people don't realize that's what they are Kelpy 10:25 pm //alsio i would absolutely like a portable microwave MedicalMurdersaurus 10:26 pm *is passed out* Kelpy 10:26 pm Is Swoop okay Darkscream 10:26 pm *Finds Swoop sleeping absolutely adorable.* Chaoit 10:26 pm Um... He's out NoodlesAtNight 10:26 pm ((oh my god)) Kelpy 10:26 pm //dfbfgb opatoes 10:26 pm that. that bot is going to start a revolution Darkscream 10:27 pm [hey look chronosmith 10:27 pm *looks at his feet* I've never tried socks. Obviously. I don't think it'd work out. opatoes 10:27 pm Socks are pretty cozy! They don't work well for us, though. Me 10:27 pm ((eyyy, speaking of actual disability aids. there was a post about a version of this on tumblr a while ago)) NoodlesAtNight 10:27 pm ((oh?)) Me 10:27 pm ((OH MY GOD)) Kelpy 10:27 pm //yeah that's the article i learned the banana slicer was a disability aid opatoes 10:28 pm ..... can I put this on me Me 10:28 pm ((the abhancer)) MedicalMurdersaurus 10:28 pm *is going to keep on zzzzing until he is done napping or until Bird wants him to zzzz somewhere else* chronosmith 10:28 pm ((amazin)) Darkscream 10:28 pm Soundwave, is Swoop alright sleeping like that? NoodlesAtNight 10:28 pm [[We'll move him in seven minutes.]] Me 10:28 pm ((oh yeah this one definitely is too)) Kelpy 10:29 pm //yeah lmao. Chaoit 10:29 pm ((yup Darkscream 10:29 pm [cleaning that though has to be a bit iffy opatoes 10:29 pm ((yeahhh like... so many of these products for "lazy" people are just... Kelpy 10:29 pm //gotta wonder if anyone's ever been told after posting one of these videos that all their lazy video items are actually disability aids NoodlesAtNight 10:29 pm ((.....i'm sorta looking at this going "want this, want that, want this")) Kelpy 10:29 pm //same?? NoodlesAtNight 10:30 pm ((let's just enjoy the products)) chronosmith 10:30 pm ((o7)) Kelpy 10:30 pm //frankly i'd like an auto cat scooper lmao Darkscream 10:30 pm [Cat is kind of BAD for your health, so, this is a good thing [....AND THENTHIS MedicalMurdersaurus 10:30 pm ((We used to have an electric literbox. Let me tell you what, that thing was FAR more work than just a normal one.)) Kelpy 10:30 pm //unsurprising Me 10:30 pm ((... did the sound go out or did my headphones, like, spontaneously stop working?)) Kelpy 10:31 pm //we turned off sound lmao chronosmith 10:31 pm ((Neddles muted the annoying announcer)) NoodlesAtNight 10:31 pm ((i muted it cause i was tired of him calling them all lazy)) Me 10:31 pm ((oh okay good)) ((might wanna turn the caps off too)) chronosmith 10:31 pm ((i have one image for u neddles))

NoodlesAtNight 10:31 pm ((WHAT IN GOD'S NAME)) chronosmith 10:31 pm ((i owe you my life)) Darkscream 10:32 pm [WAT Chaoit 10:32 pm ((YIKES NoodlesAtNight 10:32 pm ((AUTOMATIC SCISSORS!!!)) ((yes please)) chronosmith 10:32 pm Borg hammock(( Darkscream 10:32 pm [Good for long cloth I'd bet, but not shorter work Me 10:32 pm ((hahaha the bike burger holder)) Me 10:33 pm ((im digging it)) Chaoit 10:33 pm Humans are weird Me 10:33 pm ((graze at your burger like a horse with a feed sack)) Darkscream 10:33 pm [I'm hungry now. I should of eaten earlier cause I need to take my pill opatoes 10:33 pm ((i remember this one video series i saw a bit of that looked at some of those from tv things and tried them out and suggested similar enough alternatives? that was fairly interesting ngl MedicalMurdersaurus 10:33 pm ((Okay. I'm going to go to bed. Feel free to physically move Swoop around or just leave him be. Honestly, y'all just have fun with him ragdolling around XD)) NoodlesAtNight 10:33 pm ((rest well!)) Chaoit 10:33 pm ((that's asking for it to spring itself into someone Darkscream 10:33 pm [Nini! opatoes 10:34 pm ((nini!! Darkscream 10:34 pm [COOKIE chronosmith 10:34 pm *streeetches* All right, I'm out. Seeya, losers. *bobs his head to the room in general* You too, Rumble. *additional bob, and then a moment where he gives an exaggerated "hmmm" face. it's very convincing* And you, too, Frenzy. opatoes 10:34 pm coooooookie NoodlesAtNight 10:34 pm *Soundwave stretches.* [[All right. He should close down for the night.]] Me 10:34 pm ((*grabs swoop by the butt and shakes him to watch all his limbs flail*)) opatoes 10:34 pm Awww. Do you need any help finishing off drinks for the night? Me 10:34 pm ((that's the only way to play with ragdolls)) NoodlesAtNight 10:34 pm //Seeya, Whirl. I'll head with ya next time?// \\OOH OOH, ME TOO.\\ Kelpy 10:34 pm Welp, I should definitely get back. Oh! Did you remember to pick up your octopus? Chaoit 10:34 pm Yeah. I should be heading back home too chronosmith 10:34 pm Sure thing! *salutes* You two're always welcome. Darkscream 10:35 pm *Gets up and rolls her shoulders.* Was nice to see you again, Blaster. NoodlesAtNight 10:35 pm [[He will pick the octopus up shortly.]] Kelpy 10:35 pm Alright. I'll go get it ready to go then. Night! opatoes 10:35 pm ... Actually- wait, did I ever give you that octopus I got, Soundwave? Chaoit 10:35 pm Nice to see you in a less dangerous situation NoodlesAtNight 10:35 pm [[You did not.]] *...Is he about to get TWO?* Chaoit 10:35 pm Good night! opatoes 10:35 pm ... Do you want to come by later and maybe get the covenant and read the octopus? I mean. NoodlesAtNight 10:35 pm [[Goodnight, those of you leaving. Blaster.]] Darkscream 10:35 pm Night Blaster. Get home safe. *Wings twitch.* Octopuses? opatoes 10:35 pm I need to rest, but you know what I mean. NoodlesAtNight 10:36 pm [[That sounds fine.]] Me 10:36 pm ((READ THE OCTOPUS, SOUNDWAVE)) Chaoit 10:36 pm -waves and is soon gone- Me 10:36 pm ((TELL US WHAT IT THINKS)) NoodlesAtNight 10:36 pm *HE'S GONNA* chronosmith 10:36 pm ((DISCOVER ITS SECRETS)) opatoes 10:36 pm ((DON'T GET THE COVENANT THOUGH!! NO STEALING!! NoodlesAtNight 10:36 pm [[Yes. Octopuses made their way into the multiverse mechs' hands. He is going to find a home for them.]] *Here. The home is here.* ((TOO LATE YOU SAID HE COULD)) opatoes 10:36 pm ((smokescreen will cry that's like. the closest remaining connection he has to some of his mentors NoodlesAtNight 10:37 pm ((fine fine he'll be good)) opatoes 10:37 pm ((also he'll tell megatron Darkscream 10:37 pm *Makes a little trill-like sound.* Really now? I guess the grays have been active handing out the little guys. NoodlesAtNight 10:38 pm [[These things go around. It was protoforms, last time.]] [[But, he must close. Tanks won't set themselves up.]] Darkscream 10:38 pm *Looks at Swoop passed out then back over.* Need any help? opatoes 10:38 pm ... Can I help set up the tanks? What kind of things do you do for these long-term tanks? NoodlesAtNight 10:39 pm [[No, no. The twins can carry him. He's only going to Laserbeak's quarters anyway. She will keep an eye on him until he wakes.]] [[And he would prefer to set the tanks up himself, but thank you.]] *Doesn't want anyone to see That Room Upstairs.* opatoes 10:39 pm Fair enough! Night, Soundwave. See you later. NoodlesAtNight 10:39 pm *They'll question why there's a whole Earth style habitat up there.* NoodlesAtNight 10:40 pm [[Goodnight.]] opatoes 10:40 pm /Hey Smokescreen's got no room to judge, he's got a greenhouse!/ Darkscream 10:40 pm Ah, Laserbeak. I didn't want to assume if it was her or Buzzsaw. NoodlesAtNight 10:40 pm [[It is her. Buzzsaw is... reclusive.]] Darkscream 10:41 pm That's a shame. *Shakes her helm.* I miss the minicons from my world. It's nice to see they're alive and well here though. NoodlesAtNight 10:42 pm [[Quite. 327 in just this area.]] Darkscream 10:42 pm *Wings perk up.* Really? NoodlesAtNight 10:42 pm [[Yes. We are quite a happy settlement.]] NoodlesAtNight 10:43 pm [[But, again. It is past hours. If you require a place to stay, he offers to connect you to a mech in New Praxus or New Kaon, as you prefer.]] Darkscream 10:44 pm Ah, right. Sorry, Soundwave. I'll be fine finding someplace in the outdoors if I'm not intruding on some territory. Might go check out the Rust Sea before settling in for the night. NoodlesAtNight 10:45 pm [[As you wish. Be careful. He does not want police at his door asking about your remnants.]] *He only wants police at his door if they're there for very different things.* Darkscream 10:46 pm Thanks for the warning, but I'll be fine. If an army of Nekrons can't kill me.. Oh. Before I go... NoodlesAtNight 10:46 pm [[Yes?]] Darkscream 10:48 pm *Goes into subspace for something.* Where did I... *Her arm goes nearly all the way in as the grumbles about pockets. Grins and pulls out a plastic box.* If you're going to get some octopuses soon, you'll want these. If they're the big variety, this is vacuum packed shark. Little ones. I run into a lot of species out there. NoodlesAtNight 10:49 pm *Soundwave takes the box with a feeler and gives it a suspicious glance before setting it onto a couch nearby. If it's going to blow up before he can scan it, better the couch than him.* [[Thank you.]] Darkscream 10:50 pm *Not going to blow up. Understands the caution.* Hope I get to visit again. Thanks for the drink, Ravage! *Waves and heads out the door.* NoodlesAtNight 10:51 pm *Nods after her and motions for the twins to take Swoop upstairs. He'll be along in a moment, himself. Work to do!*

#chat

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landofsomethingsomething · 7 years ago

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Yo someone's trying to tell me Hussie is a racist and hates disabled people but has absolutely no evidence. What do I do?

You gotta decide for yourselves whether people in the year of our lord 2017 should be judged entirely by the words and thoughts and ideas they put out into the world years ago in different life stages. Like. This isn’t a problem that’s going to go away. Increasingly now the history of people’s entire life journey is accessible via some social media snap shot in the wayback machine or some ancient chat log sitting on someone’s hard drive out there. We don’t all start from the same place. A lot of us start from positions of privilege, from systems learned from parents or other family or institutions with power over us that influence our way of thinking when our brains are first developing the capacity for empathy and understanding.

And we grow. And we create. And we experience things. And we talk with people. We make friends. We read feedback. We listen to some and we disregard others, and years later, some (but by no means all) of what we disregarded we might think about again and realize was good feedback and helpful advice.

Our opinions change. Our understanding of our own privilege changes. Our understanding of media and propaganda and narrative and power structures and justice change. Our biases shift. Our politics change. Our worldviews are shaped by our conversations and our experiences and the things we take to heart and the things we lock outside.

Hussie used to interact heavily with the fandom. There is so much text from him out there saved in archives that has been pored over again and again and again by people with axes to grind, people with their own agendas, people who feel wronged and hurt and ignored by someone they maybe once respected and looked up to.

Anyone with that much text over that long a period of time has something fucking problematic out there waiting to hang them, I guarantee it. Back in 2012 the r-slur and the a-slur were common slang used by elementary school kids, let alone ppl frequenting the various rancid asscracks of the internet. Then awareness campaigns took root and opinions and language shifted for the better and suddenly a lot of text written without that mindfulness started looking really nasty, didn’t it?

We as a society are going to have to make some hard decisions in the very near future about how much rope we need when we’re eyeing those gallows for people we feel wronged by. How much someone’s opinion now means when their opinion five years ago might have been the exact opposite. How much good faith to extend to people who grow and change and understand their younger selves had some Bad Opinions about the world, but can’t erase the words they said, and have to live with them for the rest of their lives because people looking for ammunition can find it in ample supply. How much someone’s actions now count for weighed against their words in another fucking life.

There are quotes out there where Hussie said some stupid shit. There are a million words of Hussie quotes out there. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re an adult, I can almost guarantee you that you can go back some number of years and remember a version of you that you’d be terrified of the internet finding today.

The dude gave us one of the most queer-positive, transformative and engaging pieces of media of all time. It wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t perfect because nothing and no one is. The queer community is always so goddamn hypercritical of its prolific creators, in part because we’re desperate for the things we want and never get and it’s so frustrating to find people who *almost* give you what you want – and god knows the mainstream media isn’t listening, so where else do we have to turn but inward? We’re a stymied, frustrated group desperate for representation on all sorts of underrepresented axes of oppression and no one story is ever going to satisfy everyone. But Homestuck was so big, so expansive and meant so much to so many - of course there’s a lot of bitter disappointment out there.

How much rope do we need to hang someone? How much history do we need to build a gallows out of plank by fucking plank to feel morally justified?

It’s up to you.

#text #asks #on fandom #skelo-saurus

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betweengenesisfrogs · 8 years ago

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OFF-THE-CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #5: ACT 6 HOMESTUCK AS NARRATIVE REBELLION, OR: ARCS ARE DEAD, LONG LIVE ARCS

DISCLAIMER FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

[Note: This one’s a doozy! Still kind of off-the-cuff, in that I tried not to stress out about getting everything perfect, but I did do some revision to make my ideas more clear. That’ll probably be the norm from here on out. Hope you’re in the mood for a long read and a wild ride!

…Seriously, this shit is like twenty pages in Word.]

In my previous posts, I’ve discussed a number of ideas present in Act 6 and Act 7 Homestuck that I think contribute powerfully to the ending of Homestuck, especially on a thematic level.

I’ve discussed Homestuck as a meditation on the nature of a self divided across the many timelines of a dispassionate cosmos, and argued that the Retcon, far from a drastic change in storytelling, is a continuation of that long-running theme. Is victory meaningless if one’s original self isn’t around to claim it, or can a coherent, archetypal identity can be understood as existing beyond all of one’s disparate selves? In the system of Skaia, Homestuck asks, how do we live?

I’ve also discussed Homestuck, especially Act 6 Homestuck, as a Gnostic work, the story of an escape from a cosmic tyrant, a Demiurge whose ultimate weakness is that he cannot see the limitations of the domain he’s been given. In the same post, I discussed how this realm of the Demiurge, Lord English’s domain, is constantly paralleled with the space embodied by Homestuck itself, and how the kid’s departure from the story evokes their escape from this tyrant’s space-time domain as it reaches the end set for it by Paradox Space. From the system of Lord English, Homestuck asks, how do we escape? And at the same time, in the system of narrative called Homestuck, how do we find meaning within its limitations, and how do we escape them?

These themes work together. As we’ve seen, they echo and reinforce each other, provide parallels and points of contrast. In fact, I’d argue that each of these different themes are diverse manifestations of one larger theme, in the same way that individual selves in Homestuck can be thought of as manifestations of one larger Self. This overarching theme is present throughout Homestuck, but it reaches its culmination in Act 6 and 7, in a finale that drives it home in a different ways. To understand Homestuck is to understand this theme.

If someone were to ask me, “What is Homestuck about?” this would be my answer:

Homestuck is an exploration of the tension between abstract, impersonal systems and individual, personal experiences of those systems.

Abstract, impersonal systems are everywhere in Homestuck, systems that don’t always align with the desires, emotions, and goals of the main characters. The central question of Homestuck is how these characters will choose to understand the systems that govern their lives, and how they will carve out meaningful lives in relation to those systems. Gnosticism, metafiction, divided identities, and Sburb itself all play into this theme. As Homestuck’s characters decide how to live their lives within these many interconnected systems, they suggest possibilities for our own lives, for we readers also live in a world that also contains many systems and forces outside of our control. In their choices, we find opportunities and implications for how we should live.

You’ll notice I said there’s a tension, rather than an opposition, between individual experience and abstract systems. I think that gets closer to the truth of what Homestuck is trying to say. Characters in Homestuck sometimes reject its systems altogether, but just as often they exploit them or find identities for themselves within the constraints/opportunities of those systems. While Caliborn’s Gnostic-style domain of control is presented in a negative light, as something worth opposing and escaping, other systems, like Sburb itself, are presented in a much more ambiguous light, challenging us to decide how we feel about those systems and the possibilities they present within their rules.

I’ve talked about several of these systems in my previous posts, but today I want to talk about one I haven’t yet dug into in detail. Narrative itself.

Narrative in Homestuck, the power a story holds over its characters, is another system which the characters of Homestuck are constantly fighting, exploiting, and embracing.

Because another word for those abstract systems in Homestuck is…

Arcs.

Some Dave-Related Groundwork

[Note: If you’ve read previous posts of mine, I’m going to repeat myself a bit here, but I’m going to revisit the subject here because I want to make sure it’s understood.]

When we talk about Narrative as a system in Homestuck, we have to be really, really careful what we’re talking about.

Perhaps no sentence in Homestuck has been more unfortunately misunderstood as Dave’s statement to Rose near the end of Act 6:

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin "arcs" we are just human beings

This has been interpreted in some quarters as Andrew Hussie throwing up his hands and saying, “I don’t care about character development or giving my characters meaningful growth, because arcs, like magic, are fake anyway, so it really doesn’t matter what I do.”

This would be incredibly annoying and misguided if it were actually what he was saying, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Andrew Hussie is deeply invested in character development, and it shows.

As I’ve said before, if Hussie rejected the idea of character development altogether, if he didn’t believe stories that contained character growth were important, he wouldn’t have given Dave himself one of the most cathartic character arcs in Homestuck! Even among those disappointed with other aspects of the ending, it’s pretty widely agreed that Dave’s growth out of his internalized homophobia, his connection with Dirk, and the chance this affords him to process his feelings about his abusive brother make a story that’s pretty damn powerful and triumphant.

The simple truth is that Hussie handled some character arcs well and not others, like many an author with a large, diverse cast to juggle. While he arguably dropped some balls and made some mistakes while attempting to take on his enormous humdinger of an ending, these failures did not come from any lack of passion or commitment to his characters, but from an inability to handle everything at once.

Dave’s statement, and the discussion that follows it, should not be read as a writer dodging responsibility for completing his work. Dave is talking about something very different, a subject he has a lot of experience with, and which his own development as a character has a hell of a lot to do with.

Dave is talking about the tension between his friends’ individual lives and the narrative frameworks, the overpowering Archetypes, that they, and Sburb, and Lord English, try to construct their lives around.

Dave’s arc, in fact, is about learning to question Arcs.

Arcs are Dead, Long Live Arcs, or Critiquing Clichés With Characterization

Let me explain this statement in a little more detail. By Dave’s arc (lowercase) I mean the series of events and choices that led to his growth as a person. By his Arc (UPPERCASE), I mean a story structure that tries to enforce a narrative on Dave from the outside, rather than exploring who he is as as a person and what path makes sense for him to take.

Think of an Arc with a capital A as something like a cliché. A cliché is a predetermined story structure that is tedious because we’ve seen it a million times before. The hero hooks up with the only girl with a speaking part over the course of his journey for no reason other than that’s what we expect from a movie. That’s tedious, and we all know it’s (heteronormative) bullshit. It isn’t true to life. It likely doesn’t represent what’s natural or personally fulfilling for the characters. It’s something imposed by the writer, the studio, and/or the need to please a certain audience. It’s a narrative structure, overwriting and suppressing a more organic process of growth.

A narrative structure is a set of changes from point A to point B: the hero starts humble, gets more badass, meets girl, achieves badass goals, wins girl. Or something like that. The structure is the shape of a certain kind of story. Meaning, encoded in a certain, archetypal trajectory.

Ideally, we would like to tell and read stories that say something true about our lives, rather than just regurgitate narrative structures that have little to do with our own life experiences. What makes this tricky is that stories rely on structures. Stories are not real life; they’re only representations of life. (Once again we’re getting into the tension between the Map and the Territory that Homestuck showcases so well.) We need structures of some kind to have stories. To tell any story at all is to fix it in a specific, limited set of representations, narrative structures, arcs that create meaning.

Hence the paradox, the ambiguity inherent in the word “arc:” conveying a person’s growth over time requires that you fix it in an arc, even when you’re drawing from how that person would naturally evolve and change. At the same time, though, certain narrative structures are overused; they overdetermine the story you’re trying to tell. They become a certain set of expectations, rather than tools for conveying a character’s development as a person. They become Arcs instead of arcs.

Do you see the difference? Good narrative structures (what I referred to as arcs) depict character growth in a way that feels organic, spontaneous, and real. Cliché narrative structures (what we’re calling Arcs) overpower organic character growth and force it to fit a preexisting, forced model based on a set of expectations.

Dave’s arc is his growth from repressed coolkid with internalized homophobia to a gentle, mature adult whose relationship with Karkat is one of the most positive forces in his life. He’s rightly proud of that growth.

Dave’s Arc was the set of expectations that were placed on him by his society, by the narratives inherent in Sburb, by Lord English, and ultimately by many readers and certain narrative structures within Homestuck itself. Expectations that he might be a powerful, unflappable warrior hero figure destined to slay villains like Lord English. Dave rightly rejects these expectations placed upon him, which had little to do with who he was as a person or what he needed. His arc revolves around him rejecting the Arcs that were harming him.

In Homestuck, Hussie contrasts his protagonists’ organic, individual growth with the harmful power of the narrative structures that try to control them. This is another manifestation of the recurring theme of Homestuck: human lives are spontaneous and personal, and don’t always fit into the structures that try to shape them. True maturity is being able to grow beyond these structures.

Read Dave’s statement this way:

“Rose, our lives aren’t stories. They’re just lives. We decide what they mean. Outgrowing the need for my life to fit those structures has been freeing for me, and I think it’ll be freeing for you, too.”

Now, what Dave’s saying here works on two levels. From an in-world perspective, he’s exactly right. In reality, human beings don’t have inherent structure to their lives. And that’s exactly the tension that exists between the protagonists of Homestuck and forces like Sburb, Homestuck, and Lord English.

But, at the same time, we can also recognize that Dave’s a fictional character and Hussie is, in fact, crafting a narrative arc with Dave’s statement. Dave’s growth as a person (his arc) is about learning to free himself from the overpowering, harmful narratives (Arcs) that surround him.

Hussie is using arcs to defeat Arcs.

Arcs as Archetypes

With me so far? Okay. So, I’ve been distinguishing between arcs and Arcs because I think we want to be clear about the point Hussie’s trying to make, especially in this conversation. Now that we understand that, though, let’s acknowledge again that we’re talking about two different versions of the same thing.

Art is a way of representing life. It can represent life well and with an understanding of the nuances and ambiguities of real human beings. Or it can represent life poorly, forcing characters to conform to predetermined expectations, and robbing us of our chance to learn from other people’s experiences. But it’s a sliding scale. No representation will ever be perfect, and no representation is completely without some grain of realism. Every story structure falls somewhere along the line between the most human arc and the most aggressive Arc.

But one of the greatest things about stories is the way they critique each other. So an author like Hussie can use his own, more naturalistic story structures to critique the harmful, false story structures of others. That’s exactly what Homestuck is doing, and the escape the characters experience is every bit as much an escape from harmful clichés as it is from a cosmic tyrant named Lord English.

A given narrative structure is not necessarily positive or negative. Nor are all the narratives in Homestuck seen negatively. (Again, it’s tension, not opposition.) Before, we talked about the danger of clichés. But now we’re saying they’re not always harmful. What’s a better word, one that takes in both the positive and the negative?

I really like TVTropes’ word trope, which they use, I think, to address this very problem. Trope is like the value-neutral version of a cliché. While clichés have been repeated so often that they become harmful and restraining, tropes are simply things that exist in narratives, structures that authors use to achieve various goals. It’s up to us to decide if they’ve been used poorly or well. Homestuck is built on tropes, and uses some of them to challenge others.

A trope can be a certain kind of story. The hero went and slew a monster. The gods created the world. A young man overcame his psychological demons. These are narrative tropes we know well. We might also call them myths, or stories.

Another word we might use? Archetype. Literally a “leading type,” an archetype is similar to what we’ve talked about as the Ur-Self, or the Forms that come up in discussions of Platonism. It’s the original thing which can be seen behind various manifestations.

Ultimately, what we’re talking about here is an idea. And one of the fascinating things about Homestuck is that ideas are the basic building blocks of reality. In Homestuck, the power an idea can wield is immense.

Idea, archetype, trope, arc—they’re all words for what Homestuck is built on. The stories we bring to it, and the stories it presents to us. Above all, acts of resisting and embracing stories are at the heart of Homestuck and what it’s about.

What I want to delve into in this essay is: what are the narratives that Homestuck contains, and what are the narratives it critiques? What are the new narratives it suggests as more organic, more naturalistic alternatives? What does Homestuck suggest is the way to live?

Let’s find out.

Sburb vs Homestuck

On a narrative level, there’s a tension between Sburb and Homestuck. Sburb is a game and a system heavily constructed around certain narratives, archetypes, and ideas. Homestuck is a fictional work that is heavily constructed around many of the same ideas, but also calls some of these structures into question. This is deliberate as all hell.

Meanwhile, superimposed over the narratives of Sburb, another set of narratives lurks: the rules of reality set by the cosmic tyrant Lord English, who enforces certain narratives, rewarding some and punishing others, and literally rewriting the story in the most juvenile fashion. Homestuck takes on his narratives, too. And, at the same time, it takes on many narratives that we know from our lives, and calls them into question even when they’re built into the structure of the universe.

Let’s take a look at how all this works.

The Narratives of Sburb

Start with Sburb. It’s not surprising that Sburb takes the form of a game. Games are, in a sense, nothing but structure. They’re made of mechanics, and mechanics frequently have narratives encoded into them. The possibilities of a given game system, the choices one is able to make within it, produce narratives and produce meanings. Sburb resembles many different games, including chess, fantasy RPGs, and billiards (to say nothing of the playing card motifs elsewhere in Homestuck). This is because it has many different goals and thus creates many different narratives around those goals. In many ways Sburb can be read as critique and examination of all of these types of games (especially fantasy RPGs). But certain narratives encoded into Sburb seem to be extremely important, and over and over we see them come to the forefront.

Let’s call them Creation Myth, Coming of Age, and Heroic Epic.

The Creation Myth

Hussie has been very up front about Homestuck being a kind of creation myth. In a 2011 Formspring Q&A, Hussie wrote:

Question: So now you've revealed that the trolls' Sburb session CREATED OUR GODDAMN UNIVERSE. How long have you been waiting to spring that on us?

Hussie: Since before Homestuck started.

HS was always going to be a story about an extremely elaborate creation myth. As elaborate as I could conceive…This was always what Homestuck was about. This revelation was carefully guarded, although there are plenty of clues. It has taken 4.5 acts to understand the "what" (as well as some of the "how" along the way.) The rest of the story will be about exploring the rest of the "how", as well as determining whether the players succeed.

A Creation Myth tells the story of how the world was made. It usually tells the story of powerful gods, who represent certain aspects of the universe, causing different aspects of it come into being, often through fighting, procreating with each other, carving up the bodies of other, older beings, and all sorts of other memorable ways. By the end of it, the most dangerous gods have been defeated or made peaceful, and the world is paved for the arrival of human beings. The message is clear: these beings help us understand the world, and should be respected, as they still have power over it today.

This is Sburb’s central narrative. Only for Sburb, the gods are the players of a video game, and power over creation—described in terms of a new universe that is also the body of a giant frog—is offered as a reward for successfully completing the game. So, too, is their godhood (and god hood) a reward. It is not intrinsic to them, as with traditional creation myths, but must be earned over the course of the game.

But they earn it. Not only do they take on more elemental personas with magical power, and even become immortal within a strict set of rules, they also become mythologically important in the newly created universe. For the trolls, this takes the form of them becoming the twelve zodiac signs and constellations of Earth’s mythology. Later on, for the kids and trolls, this takes the form of them becoming venerated hero-ancestors who create the new civilization and guide it into a prosperous future. (Who knows, maybe they have constellations as well? Please, somebody put this in a fanfic.) To say nothing of the way Calliope venerates their journey as holy, almost mythological writ.

Hussie also wrote:

The goal is to create a universe all at once after overcoming an extensive series of challenges, and as is implied, the universe fleshes itself out with galaxies and systems and planets and lifeforms, ready and waiting for entry by the victorious players. The ultimate reward is for the players to enter the universe they created and do as they see fit. They are essentially the gods of that universe, and that is what the trolls are to our universe.

This ties in nicely with Sburb’s other strong narratives.

The Coming of Age and the Apotheosis

Sburb fuses the Creation Myth with the Coming of Age Story, or Bildungsroman (fancy German word for Coming of Age Story.) Sburb is designed to be played by adolescents, children on the cusp of adulthood, and it draws parallels between their journey into adulthood and their journey into the game. Indeed, Sburb seems to view maturity as what qualifies one for inheriting the mantle of a god. You can’t be a god without growing up, it suggests.

And isn’t it interesting that the goal of Sburb is to help a universe reproduce? A biological, evolutionary narrative, the non-narrative of the species blindly shaped by its attempts to reproduce, is introduced to the players right at the point in their lives when they’re also navigating their growing sexual and romantic maturity. The mysteries of adulthood are sublimated into the mysteries of giant cosmic space frogs. (See my Gnostic post for more about Sburb as biology.)

This process can often be cruel, as noted in how Sburb frequently kills off the guardians of its players, and usually their entire homeworld as well. It represents adulthood as a process of loss and grief and needing to move on. Not entirely untrue, but painful, too. It’s a brutal approach to maturity, one that echoes its inhuman, survival-of-the-fittest origins. The last generation must pass away for the next generation to take its place.

One of the most fascinating things about Sburb’s approach to maturity is the way that it tailors it to each individual player. Sburb tells them how they will mature, and who they will mature into. This is done through the system of classes and aspects (classpects) which are assigned, RPG-like, to each player. On the one hand, these are clearly elemental powers, like breath, light, space, and time. On the other hand, these are also descriptors of psychological realities for each player. Space connects with solitude and patience, breath connects with freedom, light with knowledge and agency. And the class side of the equation, the heroic titles of heir, seer, witch, and so on, are even more personal, describing a relationship to those elements and those powers. These are both the god-like roles the heroes will take on and the person they will be. (Or, in prophetic ways, they describe their failure to grow into maturity—see Eridan for an example.)

Thing is, though, they don’t start as these people. Because in Sburb it takes time to grow into being a god, right? As Kanaya says, Sburb frequently gives its players roles to challenge them. So what a Sburb title is…is a narrative. Player A started off as young and brash…but grew into maturity as the wise, reflective Seer of Time. She grew as a person because of her journey in Sburb, and became someone who could be a Seer and a God.

But it goes even further. As Tex Talks discusses in his excellent analysis video here, the elements are literally elemental; that is, the aspects make up the deepest-level structure of the universe. As Calliope tells us, reality is built out of the same aspects that describe the players. So when the players are maturing, part of what they’re maturing into is people who are closely tied to the structure of the universe. They’re becoming gods.

The combined narrative of Creation Gods + Coming of Age we might call Apotheosis. A fancy word for the story of becoming a god.

And as Tex reminds us, drawing heavily on Rose in her apples speech, for Sburb, the basic building blocks of the universe are ideas. Ideas in the Platonic sense; free-floating ideas that manifest in diverse forms but contain a central underlying truth. Tex argues, convincingly, I think, that these are also narrative ideas within the context of Homestuck. Light represents knowledge for both the reader and the player, and it represents importance on a metafictional level. Time and Space are constructs built into any narrative, Breath and Blood have ties to pacing, and Rage represents utter contrivance and bullshit.

It’s narratives all the way down.

So the story of each player’s growth into maturity, and the story of the group of players’ growth into the kind of people who can be gods of a new universe, is rich with narrative meaning on many levels. Each class, aspect, and pairing is a story, and given that Sburb can perceive all space and time, that means the story these descriptors tell is guaranteed to be tailored perfectly to each person’s process of growth or failure to grow.

Whew. Let’s see how Apotheosis, this fusion of the narrative of maturity and the narrative of creation, connects to the third major narrative of Sburb: the Heroic Epic.

The Heroic Epic

The Heroic Epic is a kind of story we’re all familiar with, I think. A Heroic Epic generally pits one or more figures of great might, skill, or intelligence against overwhelming enemy forces. Despite the odds, the hero or heroes are able to triumph, a testament to their inherent excellence as people. This is a story framework as old as mythology itself. A given hero often has one or more traits that a society considered desirable or noble--military skill, tactical cleverness, and so on—and to the degree a hero fails, it is because they fall short of these goals. Often a hero is a special, other kind of person, chosen from birth for greatness or descended from the gods.

An epic frequently takes the form of a long and complex poem or narrative, interweaving many different heroic figures and their struggles against opposing forces. Examples include the Trojan War, the Mahabharata, and the Journey to the West. Victory and defeat, usually in war, are among an epic’s major themes, and despite the complexity of its many interwoven figures, despite death and failure along the way, we generally expect some of the figures the story depicts as noble will succeed in their aims, even if they have to pay a heavy cost.

Sburb structures itself as an epic, and so does Homestuck.

What’s interesting about Sburb’s approach to the Heroic Epic is that it could have come straight out of many fantasy video games. Sburb structures itself as a military conflict between forces who share the players’ goals and forces who oppose them. It depicts the players as the noble figures who have the power to win victory for the forces of good. It even calls them, explicitly, its Heroes. As in Skyrim or a fantasy RPG, without the intervention of the player character, good cannot prevail and the world is doomed. It’s a fantasy that exalts the one who participates in it: you’re the one who carries value; you’re the one who everyone is counting on. You are the hero. It’s you.

This joins nicely with the theme of Apotheosis. The player character in Sburb is able to achieve victory, grow into maturity, and become an immortal god capable of bringing a new world into being. These are all echoes of the same theme: achieving value. Value in Sburb’s terms, according to its structures.

Like many video games, Sburb places value on achievement, strength and victory. While personal growth will be different for every player, the Heroic Epic carries the same theme for everyone: greatness is achieved through victory. By helping the forces of light achieve their goal and defeat the forces of darkness, you become a Hero. By leveling up and growing stronger, you become more worthy.

Beat the enemies, beat the game, by being the best. It’s a theme familiar to us from many a video game. And it’s a theme the video game Sburb places at the heart of its heroic narrative.

These are the narratives, the Arcs, Sburb is built around. They’re not necessarily good or bad, but they have their limitations. They’re tropes, archetypes, that can only say so much. Homestuck is a depiction of these narratives, but also a critique of them.

The central science-fictional/fantastical concept of Homestuck is Sburb. To that extent, Homestuck and Sburb share the same narratives. Homestuck, as Hussie discusses above, is an attempt to tell a very strange creation myth. Homestuck is also a story about kids growing up, and how they deal with the problems in their lives. And Homestuck is very deliberate and self-conscious about its status as a large, complex work where many heroic figures war against opposing forces, not just the forces of Derse, but also Lord English and his many agents. An epic. Homestuck is all of the same things Sburb is.

But it also critiques these things. Homestuck isn’t just Sburb, but a story about Sburb. Like any science fiction work about a particular concept, it has the chance to show both the exciting things and the limitations of a world where that concept is true. Homestuck offers a sharp critique of the narratives of Sburb by showing its limitations and showing how its players struggle against those limitations.

If you’re inclined to anthropomorphize Sburb, you might say Homestuck calls Sburb’s major narratives out as being cruel and callous. But, given that Sburb is fairly abstract, a structure more than it is an entity, perhaps it’s better to say that Homestuck tries to show how a system like Sburb imposes limits on its participants, and what the results of those limits are. We’ve seen this before with Sburb’s approach to the self. Now we can examine how Sburb also places limits through its narratives.

Interwoven with this critique of Sburb’s narratives is a critique of two closely related elements of Homestuck: what we might call the world of Inherited Narratives, and the narrative of Lord English.

Inherited Narratives, or: Everything is Caliborn’s Fault Forever

What do I mean by Inherited Narratives? Remember how I talked about Arcs (in the negative sense) as being like clichés? When we read a story, we don’t read it alone. We bring an entire world to it, the world of all the other stories we’ve ever read. We compare any story’s narratives to the narratives we’ve encountered before. This shapes our expectations, what we want to happen, and this shapes how a story is told. This is where clichés come from: they’re echoes of stories we’ve seen before, from the mind of the writer and the reader. But if a cliché narrative is just passed on without close examination, it creates an unsatisfying experience for the reader, one that doesn’t really say anything meaningful about its characters.

We exist in a world of cliché narratives in everyday life, too. We pick up a myriad of messages about what it means to be a good person, what it means to grow up, what a hero looks like, what gender norms look like. If you’ve been on tumblr for any length of time, you’re probably familiar with how these narratives are embedded in our society and our ways of thinking, picked up from the media we consume but also from everything and everyone around us.

Homestuck’s characters inherit these narratives, too, from their dying word. Much of the psychological growth they go through is found in challenging these expectations, these clichés pressed upon them by society, that no longer make sense for them to inhabit.

These Inherited Narratives even shape our expectations of what a creation myth, growing up, or heroic victory look like, and you’d better believe that when Homestuck’s critiquing Sburb, it’s critiquing them, too.

In our lives, we can blame history, culture, and society for the narratives we inherit.

But in Homestuck, we can also blame Sburb, and we can also blame Lord English.

Let’s get Gnostic again for a second. In case you thought I’d run out of things to say about Gnosticism, nope! There’s more here, courtesy of some great discussion from the legendary revolutionaryduelist and their commenters.

As revolutionaryduelist discusses here, in Gnosticism, the realm we inherit from the Demiurge, the Material World, is viewed in opposition to the World of Ideas. The false god gives us the world of flesh and death and suffering. But we can escape it by connecting through our own wisdom to the world of Truth and Goodness and Ideas. We escape to the world of the Platonic Forms, become more than our limited selves, become something more archetypal, more meaningful, more absolute.

The thing Homestuck does, and does so well, is that it parallels the Material World, the realm the kids inherit, with Inherited Narrative. As the Gnostics believed we inherit the limitations of the material, and can escape into a higher realm that is unlimited and good, Homestuck posits that we inherit the limitations of restrictive Narrative, too, and can escape into narratives that are more meaningful, nuanced, and free. Material Arcs. Transcendent arcs.

Lord English’s Demiurgic tyranny thus works on two levels. He creates Homestuck’s material reality, that is, its stuff, its substance, by devising time loops that perpetuate his own self-indulgent existence. Objects like Cal and the harlequin dolls dance to his whims.

But at the same time, he also creates Paradox Space’s narrative reality, its inherited ideas. The scratched trolls are born into an Alternia rewritten by LE’S agents into a world of bloodshed, competition, and cruelty, where Doc Scratch guides evolution and the Handmaid slaughters the unwanted, perpetuating fear. Earth, meanwhile, inherits LE’s toxic ideas about masculinity and power (ideas we’re all familiar with from our own Inherited Narratives), and a dystopic future. In a bizarre twist, arguably these narratives form another enormous self-perpetuating loop, with Caliborn being influenced by the most toxic elements of Earth and Alternian culture, and then as LE orchestrating scenarios that bring Earth and Alternia into being. That’s the second level on which LE the Demiurge creates a harmful, limited reality.

But remember what Tex taught us? In Homestuck, reality is made of ideas. Paradox Space is literally composed of Platonic forms, narrative and conceptual elements. So these two levels of LE’s influence are really one and the same. He has created our players’ limited world, and their quest is to escape it for a better one.

So, Inherited Narrative, the Material Realm, and Cliché are all the same concept in Homestuck. It’s easy to see how this is a critique of Caliborn and all he represents.

But I think it’s also, implicitly, a critique of Sburb, or at least an examination of some of its limitations.

Because many of Caliborn’s harmful narratives echo structures from Sburb.

Caliborn: Sburb’s Demon

What does Caliborn value? He values his toxic notion of masculinity, but more specifically he values strength, self-glorification, and being the best. Especially when it comes to games.

Caliborn’s ideal narrative, and the one Sburb lets him achieve, is the story of someone who was inherently the best achieving victory over his enemies, overcoming absurdly difficult trials, and becoming recognized for his superiority by becoming a god, a god powerful enough to shape world after world in his own image.

As we’ve seen, this is illusory. What LE is able to influence is actually, like the Demiurge, quite limited. But from Caliborn’s perspective, this is his story.

In it we can recognize many aspects of Sburb’s narratives. Deification comes from the creation myth and from Sburb’s notions of growing stronger and better. Most of all, though, Caliborn draws on the Heroic Epic. He sees himself as being at the center of a great story, in which he proved his inherent worthiness via his victory over the great forces set in his way. Constant conquest is his way of approaching the world. He is a warrior hero, slaying the weak and worthless left and right; he is an artist, triumphing over the haters. He is as arrogant and militaristic as a warrior-king like Agamemnon, but without any of his redeeming qualities. Caliborn takes narratives encoded in Sburb and exaggerates them to a profoundly unhealthy level. He is an echo of what’s harmful about them. He is Sburb’s shadow, its demon, summoned up by what its Yaldabaoth principle encourages, as limited as the Heroic Epic itself can be.

But there is a theme from Sburb that Caliborn’s missing, and that’s the narrative of Growth in its notion of the Coming of Age.

Caliborn rejects his coming of age, or to put it another way, sees it simply as an act of self-glorification. He places deification over inner conflict, victory over meaning. He’s encouraged, in part, by the narrative structure of Sburb’s Heroic Epic, but he also pushes it to new levels, creating his own kind of game. He rejects the normal maturation process for his species, and because of this, as Hussie says, will remain an enormous stunted tool forever, lacking his maturity and his wings.

Caliborn adores one of the most limited parts of Sburb: the aspect of it that’s a Game. He wants to keep playing the game forever, to keep achieving victory at the expense of all meaning. He is the ultimate powergamer, and the game enables him to live out a false maturity, a false coming of age where he never has to be challenged, never has to grow. This is the horror of Caliborn’s love of games: that games are meaningless without our own growth within them. Caliborn misses life for the game, maturity for mere strength, and meaning for cliché. Personal arcs for Arcs. Thus does he perpetuate a horrible Paradox Space and a horrible, cliché set of ideologies, and pass it onto others.

Echoes of his mistake are everywhere in Homestuck, harming and shaping its characters. We could talk about them for pages and pages, but let’s look at just a few examples.

Dave Strider vs the World

Again, let’s talk about Dave. Dave inherited a very toxic narrative, the narrative of the Hero. I use this word to describe the Heroic Epic in part because it carries such emotional weight for Dave within Homestuck. A Hero, in Dave’s mind, is someone masculine, unflappable, perfect, and cool. A warrior whose life is all about fighting and victory. He gets this idea straight from his Bro, who personified ideas of masculine perfection, irony, and constant conquest. Bro is a warrior-hero, untroubled by complexity, and his attempts to force Dave to live up to this warrior-hero ideal through terrifying ironic mind games and daily fighting are explicitly called out as abuse.

As Dave says:

DAVE: it was "training" you know DAVE: but you know what it really was it was some vicious shit that was bad and sucked and i hated it DAVE: it didnt make me stronger DAVE: it did the opposite DAVE: it made me never want to fight DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism

The narrative of the Hero, like the idea of being cool, was harmful for Dave, and to grow as a person he needed to escape from that narrative and find who he was beyond that story. When he said “I’m not a hero,” what he needed was not to learn to see himself as one, but to recognize that not being a hero was a good thing if that was the definition of heroism. In the end, he’s able to make that escape, and that’s a profound triumph over a harmful narrative.

Bro’s horrible influence was his own, but it was also Lord English’s. The two figures are linked: LE influences Bro through his soul embedded in Cal, but a splinter of Bro (AR/Hal, one of the more negatively-depicted versions of Dirk) is also in that soul, shaping Lord English.

And, at the same time, there’s a distant echo of Sburb here. A video game all about fighting enemies and becoming a victorious warrior figure perpetuates the ideas of value-through-victory that were so harmful to Dave. Bro’s actions within the Game were often to push victory forward on Sburb’s terms. He saw his abusive “training” as a way to help Dave win the Game. So, too, did Doc Scratch see his alteration of Alternian society into something competitive and violent as a way to help the trolls win Sgrub. It doesn’t make either of them less horrible and evil, nor their actions less abusive.

This isn’t to say that Sburb is inherently evil, but that it prioritizes certain things, including the militaristic, fighting-based heroism of a Heroic Epic, and the players of the Game suffer for it. In a way, it’s a critique of games in general: what does it mean for victory to be found in slaying enemies and gaining strength? (It’s probably not a coincidence that we find this theme in Undertale as well.) In a world where those game narratives shapes people’s lives and worlds, there are some deeply troubling consequences, especially after LE gets involved.

Accordingly, Dave struggles more than any other character with what he even wants to do within the confines of Sburb, what he should strive for. In the end, he ends up rejecting Sburb’s idea of heroism in a big way. He chooses to fight for the people he cares about, not for glory, self-exaltation, or conquest. At the same time, he rejects a world of harmful clichés that he inherited from the same sources. Dave chooses to define himself by his own goals, not by his failure to live up to the inherited narratives of heterosexuality, irony, and unshakable coolness. He learns to celebrate his bisexuality, sincerity, and vulnerability instead.

In the end, Dave’s able to leave Bro, Caliborn, and Sburb’s ideas behind him and make his own choices about what his life means. It’s not surprising, then, that he understands the harmful power of overbearing Arcs better than anyone, and what it means to escape them.

Rose Lalonde, Disgruntled Narratophile

Rose’s reluctance to leave Arcs behind makes an interesting counterpoint to Dave, because it comes from an entirely different place. Rose doesn’t define herself by Caliborn’s narrative, but she does define herself very strongly by narratives she’s picked up elsewhere. Initially we see her as a psychoanalyst, trying to make sense of her friends’ minds by fitting them into Freudian and other models of repression. Yet at the same time, we also see her missing the reality of her own repressions because of the narrative she tries to fit them into. Rose misses the reality of her mother’s alcoholism because she turns it into a tale of irony and mutual antagonism between mother and daughter. She writes a story around it and makes herself believe it. Is this in part because the truth is too painful to admit? Almost certainly. It makes sense to us that Rose is introduced to us as a writer, because her way of dealing with the world is to reach out to narrative tropes and make sense of it that way.

Later on, we see her in the context of Sburb, and there she begins to think of her experience with the game as a kind of epic. Her GameFAQ is laced with grandiose purple prose and self-aggrandizing attempts at pathos, even as she mocks herself for it in an ironic-but-not-really-ironic way. She uses it as a chance to depict herself as a protagonist, a hero about to conquer a mysterious world.

Later, of course, as she becomes more disenchanted with Sburb, she turns the narrative around: she becomes an antihero opposing a corrupt world, ready to break the Game for its injustices. But it’s still an act of roleplaying, one that she eventually becomes disenchanted with. And as Dave later observes, it’s probably a narrative Sburb itself wanted her to fall into for its own reasons, giving her a reason to advance the time loops the destruction of Lord English required. After she breaks free of grimdarkness, though, she focuses on a narrative of self-sacrifice, wanting to find fulfilment in martyrdom that lets her companions escape their dire circumstances. Dave’s insistence on coming along with her complicates that narrative, as does her survival and transformation into the God Tier Seer of Light in the fires of the Green Sun.

After Cascade, Rose wrestles with the broken pieces of narrative all around her, not knowing how to put them into a framework. We’ll talk about that more in a bit, but perhaps we can see now why Rose has such a hard time believing Dave’s experience with Arcs—she writes everything that happens to her into her own personal story.

Though Doc Scratch is being his usual asshole self when he tells Rose this:

The plans you were making were based on assumptions and fabrications of your imagination. You were writing more stories, much like those about your false magical men.

…I think he’s actually got some pretty good insight into Rose here. He knows that she constructs stories around her life in the same way that she constructs stories about Zazzerpan and the Learned. In Rose we see someone who’s constantly casting about for narratives that describe her circumstances. The narratives she finds aren’t so much Caliborn’s but Sburb’s—the story of a protagonist of an epic, destined for heroism and achievement.

But once again Hussie is stressing the difference between narrative Arcs, especially Sburb’s, and the random chaos of human experiences. Rose wants everything that happens to make sense narratively, for every event to be Chekov’s Gun, but sometimes shit just happens. Jasprose’s existence in the narrative, I think, is primarily to highlight this tension. Sometimes your dumb cat brings back your alt-universe dead self and fuses with her for no particular reason and it doesn’t really mean anything. That’s life, you know? It be like that sometimes.

It’s not surprising to me that one of the other narrative things Rose is uneasy about in the end of Homestuck is Calliope’s return from the dead. Rose wants to see her as a messiah figure, central to the culmination of an epic (her word) but the fact is, as I said in my Gnostic post, Calliope exists on her own terms, not as part of any narrative structure. This is hard for Rose to wrestle with, but it’s the entire point. Calliope, and by extension all the characters in Homestuck, don’t need to be narratively significant to be worth protecting. They need only to live.

(Okay, I can’t resist making another point, silly as it is: Even Rose’s tongue-in-cheek suggestion that Jade will debunk the concept of endgame ships has some truth in it. Homestuck approaches endgame ships somewhat differently from other narratives, showing a lot of different possibilities for each character’s relationships over the course of the story and leaving it somewhat ambiguous and open to reader interpretation where they finally ended up. This is especially true of Jade, whose close bond with Dave and Karkat is left to be interpreted by the reader. Homestuck acknowledges that relationships don’t always fit into simplistic narratives, and that how a relationship turns out has a lot to do with a person’s maturity, needs, and growth. Rose and Kanaya, interestingly, are among the exceptions, being very clearly defined, but even still, Rose is surprised, I think, at the ways in which her problems endanger the relationship and the fact that it needs communication and upkeep beyond the usual romance trope of “they got together and all problems were solved forever.” So as much as Rose was joking, she’s also 100% right. Okay, I’m done. )

So that’s Rose: someone who attaches very strongly to Sburb’s narratives about importance, heroism, and growth, missing some of the ways in which her own life doesn’t fit those models. In the end, though, I think she ends up in a good place. She begins taking Dave’s remark to heart, as evidenced by how she begins approaching reality’s departures from her narratives with humor and levity rather than angst. And her connection with Roxy, which allows her to see past the story she constructed around her mother and perceive the real facts about their relationship, brings her out of her illusions and into a more mature perspective on her life. I think, by the end of Homestuck, she’s headed in the right direction, and she has a strong, mature bond with her kickass alien wife to help get her there.

Cascade vs Character, or God Tiers Don’t Cure Your Blues

With Rose we touched on how Sburb’s narratives aren’t always what the characters really need. This is something that also comes out in Sburb’s approach to maturity: the god tier. The god tier mechanic suggests that maturity comes from developing into a very specific kind of person. A Seer of Light, a Knight of Time, and so on. Most importantly, it shows this as happening in one cathartic moment, usually involving self-sacrifice, in which the Hero dramatically transforms into their mythological role. Bam—maturity unlocked. It’s growth-as-cutscene, identity as leveling up.

In Cascade, we see God Tiering happen in parallel with moments of catharsis for the characters. Dave and Rose find themselves alive on the other side of self-sacrifice, and Rose is empowered by her aspect to see things clearly, rather than be caught up in her illusions. Meanwhile Jadesprite, caught up in Jade’s self-loathing, is instead transformed into Jade’s greatest strength and glorious furry self-affirmation when Jade goes god tier. These moments are immensely satisfying, and one well might think that they represented the end of each characters’ story.

But Homestuck deliberately calls this catharsis into question. After Cascade, we’re shown that these flashy moments of ascension didn’t solve the characters’ problems. Becoming god tier didn’t keep Rose from having an ambiguous, painful relationship with her mother’s legacy. The strong narrative it suggested for her didn’t keep her from losing direction and becoming unsure of what was important. Similarly, Dave’s ascension to being a Knight of Time didn’t help him reckon with his brother’s abuse; if anything it heightened it because of his ambiguous relationship with heroism and battle. In the Game Over timeline, we see him having a nervous breakdown because of all the ways in which he hasn’t dealt with this! Only a real connection with Dirk, the right person to help him work through the problem, could set him free. And Jade’s reabsorption of Jadesprite didn’t fully allow her to integrate the sadness she represented into her psyche; it remained repressed, as comes out later when she’s under the GrimBark influence of the Condesce.

What stands out to me about the god tiers is that they represent powerful narratives within the context of Sburb—all three received powerful abilities that would help them win the Game of Sburb. But taken out of that context, on the three-year meteor and battleship journeys, the God Tier roles didn’t help them in the least. They needed actual growth, not the narrative structures that Sburb provided for them. This, I think, is the whole reason for the three-year gap: to show how Sburb gave our protagonists Narrative growth without giving them actual, individual growth that they could rely on.

And John? Well, John’s god tiering is taken to represent maturity, and as Homestuck’s everyman, his death and resurrection is a cathartic moment for everyone in their deepening relationship with the Game. But when he finally leaves the context of Sburb for good, we see him lost and aimless, holding onto the past, unable to follow his friends into a more meaningful maturity. He helps achieve a happy ending for everyone else, but he doesn’t know what to do without living in that story. (One hopes that in the Epilogue, he’ll find a way.)

I’m Feeling Just Peachy About Hegemonic Narratives

While we’re making contentious points about Homestuck’s relationship with narratives, let’s talk Tricksters. Yes, we’re doing this man. We’re making this happen. While some confusing signposting and the deliberately off-putting nature of the Trickster arc led to it not being well-received at the time, looking back I think it reads much better (and is much less tedious) archivally, and actually continues the theme of individuals versus narrative tropes rather well. I’m drawing on the aforementioned essay by revolutionaryduelist, which is frankly the definitive work on the topic of Tricksters, so go read their work, not mine, for a real examination of the subject. Cannot recommend it highly enough!

But to summarize how Tricksters fit into what I’ve been discussing here: with the Trickster arc and the candy juju, we return to Inherited Narratives and the toxic narratives perpetuated by Caliborn. The Trickster Arc is a depiction of whiteness, heteronormativity, and hegemonic power as horror, because all these things clash with who the characters are as people. And once again it represents big, seemingly cathartic moments as emotionally bankrupt because they lack the substance of actual growth. The Trickster sequence is off-putting not by accident but by design; it’s extremely uncomfortable to sit through because it is extremely uncomfortable for the characters and not what they really need.

The Juju is explicitly compared to the star in Mario; it’s a game mechanic that allows you to skip difficulty and blaze ahead to the end of the level. Of course, since this is Sburb, it’s paralleled with skipping ahead in one’s maturity as a person. The God Tiers offer catharsis irrespective of real growth; for Tricksters this is turned up to one zillion. It’s not surprising that this “gift” comes from Caliborn, who dearly loves achievement and leveling at the expense of growth, and from Calliope, who’s been led to dismiss the importance of her individual existence and whose hero-worship of the protagonists can sometimes be alien and othering.

Needless to say, the use of a power-up to achieve maturity goes horrifyingly wrong.

Caliborn’s link to Inherited Narratives of aggressive, overpowering masculinity is also here connected to other hegemonic narratives of heterosexuality and whiteness as power. While I wouldn’t call Homestuck’s approach to race perfect, ultimately I think the Trickster arc is written around showing Homestuck’s more usual goal of racial ambiguity for the kids as the ideal, while the departure from that ideal, ie; Trickster versions of the kids being represented as white people, is depicted as negative and horrifying.

This is demonstrated in Jake’s horrified reaction to Trickster Jane. While sober, he doesn’t see her peachiness as a good thing. He reacts with the same terror, and in fact the same panels, with which Nepeta reacted to the nightmare of Sober Gamzeee. Whiteness is being played here as horror, especially in that it’s supposed to be a way to achieve power and advancement. That whiteness would be seen as a tool for success and catharsis represents Inherited Narratives from our world to the highest degree, and we are indeed supposed to be horrified by it, as we are by all things Caliborn. While there was a lot of confusion around this at the time, and in ways it was written confusingly, looking closely, I think ultimately invoking the terror of hegemonic whiteness what Hussie was going for here. Again, see revolutionaryduelist, who puts it better than I could.

Tricksters also evoke inherited narratives of Heteronormativity. Marriage and reproduction are their obsession, and they’re particularly concerned with fixing Jane and Jake’s problems through having a zillion babies. Trickster Roxy, meanwhile, ignores Dirk’s sexuality out of a misguided belief that she is entitled to a romantic relationship with him. Tricksters ignore the difficulty of working out one’s relationship problems by believing makeouts and absurd marriages will solve everything. The Tricksters also decide to head straight to self-sacrificing themselves into being god tiers. And why wouldn’t they? They’re high on the very notion of progress, and that kind of flashy, cathartic progress is exactly what they crave.

Ultimately, we can read the Trickster arc as a much more direct representation of what figures like Caliborn have been doing all along: enforcing seemingly cathartic narratives that are harmful to the protagonists in lieu of actual growth.

The good news for the Alpha kids is that when they wake up hung over from this narrative-induced bender, they’re forced to confront how abysmally it failed. They realize that this wasn’t the growth they needed, and they begin the painful work of actually communicating with one another and working through the problems which the Juju couldn’t solve. It’s a rejection of Caliborn and his ideals, and it’s a sign that they’re headed in the right direction.

This brings us, at last, to the finale, the ultimate repudiation of Caliborn and what he stands for.

Two Endings: Glory vs. Escape

One of the things that most caught people off guard, including me, about the ending of Homestuck was that the main kids, our central protagonists, never directly confronted Lord English.

I remember thinking, as I’m sure a lot of people did at the time, that there would be one more plot twist, that the seeming fight with the Condesce and three Jacks who were connected to Lord English’s power would give way to a fight with English himself, that somehow the kids—especially Dave— would have to confront him and take him down.

That didn’t happen. Instead, Homestuck played things much more straightforwardly. Those who’d said they were going to confront English—Vriska especially— held a showdown with English in the Furthest Ring, while the vast majority of our protagonists, the kids we cared especially about, simply confronted the lingering problems in their session, the echoes of his influence over Paradox Space, and achieved victory not over English, but their Game.

I was certainly surprised by this. Do I think it was a bad choice?

Hell no.

I think it’s an incredible fucking choice, and it’s a big reason I love the ending.

Look. The central narrative of the Heroic Epic, the idea of becoming important through victory over powerful foes, is called into question throughout Homestuck. It’s often a necessity to engage with because the Game asks those kinds of victories of its players, but Homestuck shows that it isn’t the same thing as real growth. Caliborn is the ultimate manifestation of the problems with this idea, someone who’s latched onto the achievement games offer, the sense of power and importance, while rejecting the opportunities to mature Sburb also presents. Caliborn wanted a multiverse in which everything revolved around him, and for a time, he got it.

But for the kids we care about, life doesn’t revolve around Caliborn. It revolves around their own goals, their own lives, their own reasons for being. They have Caliborn and Sburb’s systems to wrestle with, but they can choose how they want to engage with those systems. They can, if they wish, depart from the values of these narratives and be set free.

For John and his friends, the experience of Homestuck isn’t about having the biggest showdown with the biggest bad guy. It’s makings sure your friends are safe and getting to the end of the Game so that you can be free. It’s about finding a way, in a multiverse made out of these narratives and these systems, to live. Their story is not truly a Heroic Epic, that is, an Epic of Battle, of Victory, but an Epic of Escape.

But that isn’t true for everyone. While John and friends are bringing the story of an Escape to a culmination, a completely different story is going on at the same time over in the Furthest Ring. It’s a much more traditional story. The story of a great Warrior, confronting a great Enemy. It’s a traditional Heroic Epic, a Sburban Epic. And who is its protagonist? The one person who most wanted to be. Vriska.

There’s so, so much more one could say about Vriska, and I hope to say it all at a l8r d8. Suffice it to say for now that Vriska—especially this version of Vriska—is caught up in the very same narrative Caliborn is. The narrative of Becoming Important through Achieving Victory. Vriska rejects the growth the people around her have achieved, and berates her ghost self for growing away from this framework that’s so important to her. Like Caliborn, she can’t let herself grow, because to grow would be to lose her central role in the Narrative of Heroism.

It’s a narrative she inherited from her culture, from Sburb, and from Caliborn himself. Because technically, she’s right that what she’s doing is necessary. Lord English called someone like her into existence. It was always necessary that someone confront him, someone with the same devotion to Game Skill and Conquest that Caliborn has. Another powergamer, ready to (Heroically) take the bad guy down. Indeed, as a product of the aggressive, game-winning troll culture Doc Scratch brought into being, she is a reflection of English, his Girl Gamer double, his light mirror. She wins, in a way. She trounces Hussie. She gets exactly what she wanted. She gets to be the most important person to the cosmos. She gets to end his reign of terror, just as he got to have one in the first place.

But just like Caliborn, she’s caught in that story like a trap, and she can’t see it. She throws herself into the same black hole that devours Caliborn’s domain. Indeed, she chooses to sacrifice her relationship with Terezi, and the chance at a happy life it provides, for going out in a blaze of glory. She loses so much by this narrative, and yet she chooses it. This is in sharp contrast with her ghost self who instead chooses—of all the absurd things—happiness. And like Alt-Calliope, by committing to her narrative, she ensures (ironically) a loss of her own agency, ensures that she will be a tool used by Skaia and Paradox Space to end the story of Caliborn, to close a loop that was always meant to end. Just as Calliope and Alt-Calliope stand on two sides of that thematic divide, Vriska and (Vriska) also represent the choice between identity within an overpowering narrative and the more terrifying, but more meaningful possibility of personal growth.

(And isn’t it interesting that while Vriska thinks she’s the most important person to this story, she couldn’t have done it without Meenah, and Tavros, and Davepeta, and Aradia and an army of ghosts, all of whom work together to achieve that moment of victory? Her individualistic idea of her story is shown to be false by the very mechanism of her satisfaction.)

Simultaneously in Paradox Space these two stories take place. In the Furthest Ring, the story of Glory. In the final Sburb session, the story of Escape.

In contrast to Vriska’s story, the final chapter for our thirteen protagonists is about living despite the narrative structures around them, not throwing themselves into a predetermined role. We already talked about this with Calliope, but I think it’s the nature of the victory for all of them.

In ending their Game, John and friends are working within the confines of one system while rejecting another entirely—and yet they find a way of escaping both. They do not choose to live by Caliborn’s values. They don’t go to the Furthest Ring seeking glory but merely seek an ending, seek peace. The peace that Vriska and Caliborn rejected.

Sburb itself offers them that peace, and mediates their victory. Its narratives are a structure that they must turn to their advantage, rather than reject entirely. Because Sburb—or, to put it another way, the rules of the Game, the rules of Paradox Space—has been running the show this whole time. The retcon Juju was Skaia’s creation, and the kids’ use of it to retcon a better ending for themselves was part of its plan to close the loop of Lord English and bring him to an end. This is clear from the way the Denizens approve and sign off on their victory, as they approve of all victories in their Game. The kids’ happiness is incidental, a footnote in the grand essay that is Paradox Space, and not necessary to this larger narrative.

But it matters because it matters to John, and Rose, and Dave, and Jade, to Calliope and everyone in that final victorious group. Their freedom comes not from a grand narrative but from themselves, from the ways in which they’ve grown and the things they want to achieve. They fight the final enemies LE throws at them—a Queen, a King, some Carapacians locked in stalemate—just as they’d fight the final bosses of Sburb, not because they’re seeking glory, but because they want their Game of Sburb to come to an end.

John talks about the importance of his friends in his final conversation, and how glad he was to be able to save them. Roxy talks about everything that was taken from them by the Condesce and LE’s agents—the promise of a better life, a future for humanity and trolls—and how by defeating them, she hopes to take back those possibilities.

But in the end, not much needs to be said, because implied beneath all the humor, beneath the painful memory of Game Over and John’s retcon journey, is that what everyone’s fighting for fighting to be free.

And in the end, Sburb sets them free. For its own reasons, yes. But because they seek this freedom, also for theirs. They’re given a world to define and create for themselves. A world where they no longer play the Game. A place where the narratives they inherited, from LE, from Sburb, from the world, no longer matter. Where they can tell their own stories, the stories that come from their own growth and their own lives, rather than anyone else’s.

The End of All Storytelling

At the end of Homestuck, the camera begins to pull away. In their final moments in the story, we see the kids from a distance, wordless, opening the door to their freed but no longer clearly in the spotlight that once shone on them. We see them gathering together with loved ones, embracing those they thought they’d lost, reconciling after their past arguments. It’s not the end of a story, exactly. It’s an arrow, pointing in the direction of one. The signs that happiness is possible in that world of freedom. Even the depiction of the world they will build together is a suggestion, a projection forward through the door they will walk through. We can’t look on it directly, because it’s out of our scope. And in the Credits sequence we get glimpses into that world, but nothing direct. A series of suggestions, literal snapshots with us left to fill the space between.

The map begins to show only glimpses of the territory. Homestuck begins to pull away from Homestuck. We come to understand the kids are heading into a world in which all narratives cease.

Don’t misunderstand—this isn’t a rejection of the story of Homestuck. It’s an acknowledgement of its limitations. Homestuck sought to present a story of several kids who found themselves in a world of overbearing narratives, and how they responded and reacted to that—some by embracing those narratives, some by creating their own. They inherited narratives, but they made new ones that were more true to spontaneous experience, to their own lives. But Homestuck acknowledges that even the new narratives it creates can only say so much. No representation will ever perfectly be able to capture the spontaneous meaning of real lives. No map can ever perfectly show us the territory. So Homestuck chooses to point at the territory instead. To give us a sense of a future, of the lives that the kids, now freed, will be able to lead, without nailing down the details. In that wide-open space, we can imagine infinite possibility, and infinite freedom. Freedom for the characters, but also for the readers who love them.

In the end, it’s the same question all endings confront: how do you bring things to a close while acknowledging that life goes on, that nothing ever really ends? For Homestuck, the answer is to paint with broad strokes, to suggest that there will be a future, that each person we care about will shape it in their own way while leaving a wide space to explore what that means. For Homestuck, that means lifting away the restrictive structures of story for the wide-open possibilities of living.

Homestuck

So. Let me tell you about Homestuck. What does that word, that title, really mean?

If a home is the context we come from, the world we inherit, the realm we live in, then Homestuck describes our relationship with that origin. There are many origins in Homestuck, and thus there are many levels to that relationship. To be Homestuck is to be stuck in one’s context, to be stuck in one’s universe, one’s home planet. But also to be stuck in one’s narratives, in all the narratives one inherits from one’s guardians and from the world. To be stuck in a game, a set of rules. To be stuck in the corrupt realm of a Demiurge. To be stuck in the story one tells to oneself, to be stuck in a domain that promises glory but also prevents any other story from taking place.

The end of Homestuck is about escaping all of these things. How one achieves that escape, or fails to achieve it.

In the end, some do. Leaving Homestuck, they leave the context they inherited—through the door of a white house that represents their Game, the realm of their Demiurge, and their Story. Leaving it, they become unstuck from the Home they once knew.

They’re free.

Homestuck offers us the possibility of taking that journey with them, and finding our own understanding of that Escape. And it suggests to us the possibility of our own escape in a world that has its own structures, its own limitations, its own narratives, a world that, in its challenges, is really not too different from the world of the comic. It suggests that by questioning our inherited narratives, by writing our own stories, by living our own lives for our own reasons…

We, too, can be free.

That’s the meaning of Homestuck.

[Next time: confronting Homestuck’s reception, the limitations of my model, and the relationship between the fandom and Andrew Hussie. Coming…..at some vague point in the future.That sounds like a good release date. Yes, that’s right! Same day as Hiveswap. *rimshot*]

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