#i was talking with customer support for over an hour trying to figure out what my issue was and we couldn't figure it out

[pixellangel]

:D?

[drdemonprince]

At one point he was down in between my legs, fingering me, and he made a throwaway comment about probably being Autistic. 

I leaned back, trying to relish what pleasure I was getting. “Well, we can talk about that subject, if you like,” I said vaguely, not really wanting to bring my professional life into things. 

He kept working away at my body, kissing between my lips and thighs. “Oh I know who you are,” he said suddenly. “Your book changed my life. In a way, I guess this is me thanking you.” 

I made him exit my body and we went to the kitchen to hash it out. It turned out he was a big fan of many things I’d written. 

“I’ve seen you around the neighborhood many times,” he confessed. “But you posted online that you don’t like when people come up to you, and so I always decided to leave you alone.” 

He said, “Your book is the reason I got divorced, actually. My ex-husband was a therapist, and when I showed him your book and said I thought I might be Autistic, he didn’t believe me. We have been separated for a year.” 

He asked, “Did I just make this weird, telling you when I did that I was a fan?” I told him that if he’d said it sooner, I would have never fucked him at all. 

People never realize that when they approach me, what they are doing is dragging me into work. It doesn’t matter whether I was at breakfast, or an orgy. I was just some guy standing there, enjoying his beer, but now they have made me the known scholar and author. And sure, my job might be meaningful, but that doesn’t mean I like to work. 

I tell my friend that I no longer want to be a public figure, and that I am planning how to make it all end. She tells me, “You’ve got to do what is the best for you, even if it’s something that the rest of us wants and can’t imagine giving up.” 

I ask myself, did I want this? It would be more flattering to say I didn’t, and play the role of the hermetic author whose work developed its own life purely because it was so good. But that isn’t true. 

From the moment I got a Myspace account in high school, I was publishing essays about my political views. I serialized multiple novels on Tumblr, guerilla marketing them with giveaways and custom-made images until they hit the Kindle sales charts. I have made memes, tried starting viral trends, coined phrases, and given hundreds of hours’ worth of media interviews. I write prescriptive nonfiction, for Christ’s sake. Of course people seek guidance from me. I offer it up! 

I have been strategic about how I dress, and my video backdrops, and retaken clips of myself speaking over and over again until they sounded right. I’ve hosted debates with my most vicious critics while I’m in the shower, started public beef with creators who had larger accounts than I did, and rushed to my keyboard when upsetting news broke, because I alone was possessed of the most correct take on it.

I wanted this. I didn’t know what this was, this internet fame I was chasing, but I did all I could to make it mine. I thought that by writing so much, I would one day be able to escape myself, maybe really feel connected to other people. Instead it has meant never being able to stop thinking about myself: how I am seen, what I am working on, how it all fits together, what comes next. It has also meant being spoken about, theorized about, and criticized, and developing a firm exoskeleton of disdain between myself and the world. 

I believe now that that it is immoral for any person to be listened to by ninety thousand other people. Holding authority and status like that runs counter to my anarchic ideals. I am not more important or correct than anyone. I should not be trusted to tell people which commodities to buy, which companies not to support, what to read, what to think, what words to use, or how to conduct their lives. 

All the other animals know there is no one way that a creature “should” live. There is only the way that it does. The world has no consciousness, no beliefs. It cannot pass judgment. We only feel so watched and evaluated because we have covered the planet with so many millions of our eyes. But we can stop performing dignified human goodness at any moment. 

I think that celebrity is an evil, corrupting force that pits the human instinct for bonding against itself. Instead of appreciating the singing of our friends around the fire, we stream Chappell Roan until stalkers break into her house. Rather than playing card games together, we stan Twitch streamers, filling up their chats with highlighted messages until they acknowledge us. We long to be famous novelists because then we would have the social permission to write, and we don’t have the money or time to enjoy the activity on its own. 

I wrote about Chappell Roan, stalker stans, and how turning art into content creation ruins the work, and the creator's life. It's free to read in full (or have narrated to you by the app!) on Substack.

[shiny-jr]

Get you a guy with thighs bigger than yours.

- Warning: Gender-neutral reader. 

- Characters: König.

- Summary: Thick thighs do not save lives.

- Note: This came about because I was just talking crazy in the dms with a mutual. I originally wasn't going to ever let this see the light of day, but then I decided, why the hell not? If I get smacked with delayed embarrassment, I'll just delete. Yeah, I know this isn't what I usually write and post, but oh well. Anyways, after this, we will be back to our regular scheduled content shortly. Oh, and sorry for minor mistakes, I wrote this like at midnight.

. . .

You decided to put a movie on. Just for a distraction. After about an hour into the movie, the leather couch got a bit uncomfortable since it stuck to your skin. So you slunk down to the floor, bringing a pillow or two down with you to use in case extra comfort was needed. The movie was beginning to lose your attention, but you still watched the screen attentively as if you were still focused on the film's plot.

What ended up catching your attention, was the slight shifting couch. Well, slight probably wasn't the correct word, as the movement was anything but light. It was safe to assume the shifting was from a guy who was well over 200 Ibs and a few inches short of 7 ft, although you didn't know the exact numbers because you never wanted to ask König outright.

It was easier to hear the movement, as the large figure scoot a few inches over. Instead of sitting beside you like he was a few seconds earlier, he had not so discreetly moved to take your vacant spot and sit directly behind you. He tried to stay quiet, he really did, but it wasn't so easy for him given his size. At the very least, he treaded carefully, not bumping your back once with his legs or accidentally knocking the back of your skull with his kneecaps.

You didn't move, but your eyes slowly glanced downward, where you could see the tip of his boots. Custom made, as most department stores didn't carry anything in his size. Most articles of clothing he had were custom-made or bought in special stores, save for that odd black diy mask he often wore over his head like a hood to hide himself from the world. Too afraid to lean back and accidentally make contact and disturb this fragile peace, you remain still despite the slight ache in your lower back that make you want to lean back and stretch. But you don't. All you could do was try to revert your attention back to the movie and not think any unholy thoughts, that is, until you heard more movement.

To not bump his knees against you, Konig spread his legs a bit and leaned down. The edges of his homemade cloth mask brushed against your back as you stiffened up, and you could make out the shape of his head beside yours as he whispered, "Do you, uh, want some...?"

Yes. "What???"

"Popcorn? Do you want some popcorn...??"

Oh.

After deciding whether or not you'd accept his offer, silence ensued, only fueled by the movie playing on the television. You weren't gonna lie, you have no idea what the hell was going on in the story anymore. A solid minute passed when he spoke again, sounding just as unsure as the first time. He spoke, as if whatever thoughts he had on his mind earlier where left to simmer for long enough.

"Scheiße. Sorry, should I have not moved here...? You can still lean back if you want?"

"Oh, okay... I, um, I'll do that."

Your back was starting to ache a little from sitting up without support, so, feeling just as awkward as he was feeling, you leaned your back against the couch. Instantly, as soon as you did that, your peripheral vision was covered by his knees and part of his legs. The movie was pretty much pointless now, as you were currently wondering whether you should thank whatever gods existed or curse them for the fact that König did not have shorts on. Even without shorts and with specially fitted cargo pants, they could not conceal the insane bulk of his legs. Especially his thighs. Good lord. The two pillows you brought down before from the couch were essentially useless now because on each side of your head were his limbs that rivaled the best of My Pillow.

Think of something else, anything else, is what you tried to tell yourself.

That idea would go out the window as soon as you felt something in your hair. Carefully twisting a few strands, you felt some thick and calloused fingers gently try and feel the texture of your hair. But it lasted only for a brief second, as he immediately pulled his hands away and murmured a tiny bit louder from his whisper earlier, "Ah, sorry, I should've asked first. I should not have done that. I am sorry––"

"It's okay, I... don't mind." You shrugged it off, and much to your surprise and contentment, he continued.

The first few seconds had a bit more hesitancy, but as time ticked by, seconds turned to minutes, his boldness increased. It started with his large hands carefully feeling the texture of your hair, then it became slow brush strokes as his thick fingers ever-so-carefully untangled knots in your stands of hair. Until eventually it escalated, and he gathered the courage to do something so bold as to scratch your skull. He could easily take your entire face in one hand and crush your skull, but he didn't. There was no sign of any such roughness. Instead, his fingers and nails continued to comb through your hair, lightly scratching your scalp. At first when he did this, he paused, and waited for any objections or signals of a negative reaction, but after no such thing, he continued and seemed pleased.

It was after about five-minutes and heavy mental debating in your mind that you decided to suck it up and go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Honestly, you didn't even expect to make it this far.

So, after taking in a breath, you let your head fall to the side. It wasn't like those romantic scenes where you watch the character lean their head against a love interest's shoulder. Oh no, you were skipping that part, your ear landed right on his thigh. Which was probably due to the cushion you placed underneath you on the floor that elevated you a few extra inches, or else you might've missed. In that moment, right as the side of your head landed on its intended target, you felt him freeze. His fingers stopping, nails still on your scalp. A second passed, then two, then three, like time froze.

You were almost tempted to pry yourself off and apologize, but you really didn't want to. But you had to ask. "Is this alright...?"

"J-Ja... I mean, yes..."

Your eyes widened, and you were sure you had on some goofy kinda grin but at least you weren't facing him so he couldn't tell. Once you heard his response, your shoulders slumped, relieved of tension you didn't even know you were carrying.

Even with your head against his thigh that wasn't plush but was still definitely comfortable, you realize you were no better than a man as you resisted the urge to just reach out and squeeze his other thigh that had gotten closer without you even realizing it. You had to dig your nails into your knee to prevent yourself from acting on impulse.

It was definitely almost pure muscle from what you could tell with your head on one of them. Firm but somehow still soft. Thick thighs, in fact, do not save lives, because these thighs have ended who knows how many between them in finishing moves on the battlefield. Lucky bastards. Trying your luck agian, you place a shaky hand on his other thigh, but he didn't react. A good sign? Possibly?

Forget goth gfs and thick plush thighs, apparently giant anxious austrian soldiers with thighs as thick as tree trunks and strong enough to obliterate skulls like melons were the new fad.

Movie totally forgotten, your vision was entirely covered when König leaned down a bit from his spot on the couch and you tilted your head to look up and meet his gaze. The masked man stared at you, his blue eyes peering down at you through the two small slits cut into his mask for his eyes to see. His mask partially dangled, but not fully, so not revealing himself to you. When your gaze traveled away, abruptly his thighs got closer, squishing your cheeks and the sides of your face but not enough to hurt. Just a bit of pressure to get you to look up again.

Oh god.

There was literally no space between your face and his legs anymore, and your arms instinctively went to the outer side of his thighs to try and pry them apart a bit. You didn't try much, maybe because you enjoyed it or because you didn't exactly have strength strong enough to rival his, so all you could do was clutch the pockets of his cargo pants that were just above his knees, your nails digging in softly just to get a quick feel.

Once he saw he had your attention again after he applied a bit of pressure, he cocked his head to the side and continued to look down at you through half-lidded eyes darkened by the shadow of his hood. Then he spoke, but this time with no apprehension in his quiet tone.

"You do know I've ruined others that were in a similar position to what you are in right now?"

[vanesycho]

Summary:Renting a boyfriend? It was the stupidest idea in the world according to you, but what will you do when you get used to him and want to see him again?

wc:2,08k

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"No way! Have you lost your mind?"

You backed away as your friend tried to pull you inside. "Come on, it'll be good for you too."

"Buying a boyfriend? I don't think so." Your friend knew that you were sitting at home all the time and not doing any activities lately, you didn't even spend time with her and she thought that at least by having a man in your life, things would change. "If you don't want to then you never do it again, just for 2 hours? Pleaseee."

You let out a deep breath and let her pull you in, your friend smiling with victory. When you entered, you looked around in surprise as you saw that the place was crowded. A couple passed by, you guessed that the man was someone who worked here. "Come on, I registered for you and...Nakamoto Yuta? He'll be your boyfriend today." After your friend's sentence, she winked and tried to find Yuta among the other men working, even the idea of being alone with a man you didn't know for 2 hours was very scary.

"Oh! Here he is." You looked at your friend as she brought a black and long-haired figure with her. He smiled at you softly, walked over to you and leaned in, you stepped back a little. “Y/n. So I’ll be with you today?” You turned your head and looked for your friend and saw that she was already heading towards the exit of the store. She gave you a quick air kiss and disappeared. Did she leave you here alone with him? You quickly turned to the Yuta. "Two.We'll only be together for two hours."

He held your hand and started to lead you towards the exit. "There's no point in waiting then if it's two hours." You pulled your hand away from him and he turned to you, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Who told you to hold my hand?" He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it in front of your face. "Rules?"

You frowned. “Did you really not read the rules?” He handed you the paper, you took it and looked over the rules.

Welcome to the boyfriend store! Here are the rules for you;

-Holding hands and hugging are mandatory. (We care about the customers' request, if you are not interested in skin contact we recommend you to choose men who are interested in this)

-Satisfaction of some sexual desires and wishes (upon request, not mandatory)

Our only wish is that you do not feel lonely and have a good time with your boyfriend, even if only for a few hours.Thank you for choosing us!

And there was some contact information at the bottom, you looked up at him, he was waiting for a reaction from you, you handed the paper to him. "Well, you better not get too close though." He nodded in agreement and extended his hand, you took it and walked out of the store.

While walking down the alley, Yuta saw a cafe. “Would you like to go in?” You knew there was nothing else to do so you agreed. Yuta ordered your coffee for you, you mumbled a small 'thank you' when he handed it to you.

"What made you want to do this? Do you really have fun doing this job?" He took a sip of his drink. “We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff, but you’re obviously not interested in it either, so I’ll answer. No. But this is the best paying job, and I have to support my home, myself, I have to work here at least for a short time." You hummed. Think about how hard it is to work in a place you don't want to and have to be close to all these people. "Anyway, let's not talk about that, your friend seemed more interested than you."

You laughed, he looked at your face carefully, leaned his elbow on the table, put his head in his palm and looked at you. You cleared your throat with a fake cough as his full attention was on you, his eye contact was definitely good, no wonder he chose this job.If you didn't know better, you'd think he was working on this job on purpose. "Yeah, she was always saying that I was shutting myself up in the house and refusing to socialize, that if I had a man in my life, at least I would feel good about myself."

"Well, she's not lying." you were drinking your coffee without an answer, you didn't even know how to talk to a guy, no wonder you haven't had a boyfriend for so long, you've always had problems with communicating. "I got some information about you. You like taking photos?"

You nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I am not a professional photographer, unfortunately I do not have a proper camera, but I still love it, I often go for a walk in nature by myself and I take very nice photos from there." He smiled at how relaxed and happy you looked when you talked about your hobby. You stopped in embarrassment when you noticed his smile. "I'm sorry I talked too much."

Still smiling, he said, "No, I like this, please continue." You pressed your lips together, his attention wasn't leaving you, you were usually the listener and now it was the other way around, making you a little nervous. "So...as I said, I live on the street and it makes a lot of noise, I like nature and quiet places more, I hope one day I can move to a place like that and take more pictures of the beauty."

"I'm sure you will." He opened the bag he was carrying with him, you watched him with curiosity, you looked at the camera with surprise when he took out. "Oh that's what I was talking about, I've been saving money for this for a long time." He chuckled at how excited you were, handing the camera to you. "Would you like to try it?"

"Really?" He stood up and sat on the chair next to you. You took the camera in his hand and examined it. You were a little confused by the number of buttons. He smiled and put his hand on your hand that was holding the camera. "Let me show you.." He turned on the camera. "If you press this button for a long time, it will switch to video mode, this button will show the photos you have taken before, and if you press this button once, it will take a photo."

You tried to listen to him carefully but the scent of his perfume was distracting you as he was so close to you, he was almost hugging you while holding the camera by your shoulder with one hand,It felt weird to feel his breath on your neck and face every time he spoke. "Hey, are you okay? You got lost in thought."

"Huh what?" You turned to him, but you had forgotten how close your faces were for a moment, and when your noses touched, you quickly turned back. "I'm fine yes, sorry." He smiled at your reaction, thought it was cute, and put the camera in front of you. "Keep this for the rest of our time together, take pictures of anything you want and I'll print them and give them to you."

You turned to him excitedly, "Really? Thank you so much." he stood up "Come on, I know a nice place." You stood up without hesitation, Yuta went to pay for the coffees, even though you denied it, he didn't seem to be listening to you much, so you lost to him.

After walking for a while, you arrived at a park, mostly covered with trees, and you saw a lake, you talked while looking at the beauty of the environment. "I've heard a lot about this place but I never had the time to go." He clasped your hands together, you turned to him with the sudden warmth you felt. When you saw that he wasn't looking at you, you turned back to the front in shame. 'This is his job Y/n, these are normal things for him of course.' You got caught up in the moment and forgot that you would only be together for two hours.

You walked towards the lake, taking a deep breath as a few birds gathered around, smiling slightly as the scent of flowers filled your nose. But the sound of a camera behind you made you turn around quickly, Yuta was smiling at you with his camera in his hand. "You looked beautiful, I didn't want to miss it."

He came over and handed it to you, you took the camera as you smiled again, taking a few pictures of the beautiful view in front of you. Yuta came into view, his hands on the board in front of him as he looked around, you raised your camera again as you carefully looked at his side profile, taking a picture of him. The wind was caressing his long black hair, you continued to watch him as he closed his eyes, you swallowed hard, trying to come to your senses, in an hour there would be no one like him in your life. "Isn't it beautiful?"

You were pulled away from your thoughts by his voice and approached him. "Yes it is, no sound, no noise, just peace."

You continued to watch for a while, most of the time your mind was occupied with Yuta, you couldn't even look at the view in front of you properly.

──────────────────────

You spent a few minutes together and found yourself in front of the store again, your feet refusing to leave, you really couldn't have gotten used to him that quickly. You looked at the camera in your hand and handed it to him. "Thank you Yuta, I..I really had a good time."

He smiled "Keep the camera with you." You looked at him with your eyes wide in surprise, not knowing what to say. "What? No, I can't accept this."

He leaned in closer, tucking your hair behind your ear, you flinched when you felt his fingers. "Of course you can accept, take this as my thanks, I... This is the first time I've had a good time with someone." You refused to believe it, how many people did he go out with in a day and did he have fun with you?

You froze in place when you felt his lips on your forehead, a light, small kiss, the smile on his face didn't fade when he pulled back. "Thank you Y/n, take care of yourself and.. the camera too." He chuckled and you watched him walk into the store, you just stood there, not knowing how to react.

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When you got home you lay on your bed, stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. His face, his smile, his touch, his kiss, each one of them ran through your head like a film strip. You turned to the side, the camera was just there, you picked it up, looked through the photos that were taken before, you saw Yuta among a few landscape photos. He was perfect on camera but he was definitely better in real life, you went back to older photos, you didn't know if it would be right to look at them but your curiosity gave in.

You smiled when you saw a photo of him with a kitten. You looked at the smile on his face, you scrolled to the side. It was a picture of him lying on the grass, you looked at his hair, it was shorter than it is now and it was red, you thought how pretty he looked even with red hair.And the other photo looked more recent, he was in a studio or something, was he into music? Not knowing much about his normal life made you sad. You admitted to yourself that you wanted to talk more, you were used to it, unfortunately.

As you were about to take off your clothes, you noticed something in your pocket, you frowned, realizing it was a piece of paper. The paper on which the store had written the rules was "How did this get here?" You opened the paper, saw the contact information at the bottom, thought, should you go to him again?

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I'm thinking of writing another part of this, I'm not sure tho,if most people like it, I'll do it🤍🤍(and the photos above are the other photos on camera)

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN, updated version  *  assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy, adjust as necessary

i can't find any hard evidence.

good luck, [name]. maybe they'll listen to you.

i'm coming with you.

sometimes it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work.

i just couldn't take it anymore.

maybe i can get the job done my way for a change.

if you're wrong, we'll pay for it. but if you're right, and we did nothing, i think we'd regret it a whole lot more.

i thought you were dead.

it sure is good to see a friendly face.

at least it's not hard to find criminals here. all i have to do is point my gun and shoot.

my feelings got in the way of my better judgement.

i'll make you a deal. you get me out of here alive, and i'll tell you the whole damn thing.

nobody would give me a mirror. how bad is it?

don't make me laugh, damn it.

some women find facial scars attractive.

i'm fit for duty whenever you need me.

when i got to the meeting point, no one was there.

kill you? no. but i don't mind slowing you down a little.

what do you want from me, [name]?

i know you want to talk about this... but i don't. not yet.

it's so much easier to see the world in black and white. gray... i don't know what to do with gray.

my instincts are what got me into this mess.

never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.

well, why the hell not? there's nobody in this galaxy i respect more than you.

if we can figure out a way to make it work, then... yeah. definitely.

you're about the only friend i've got left in this screwed-up galaxy.

you don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable.

i brought wine.

your hair looks... good. and your waist is... very supportive.

hopefully that's not offensive in human culture.

i want something to go right. just once.

think you can win this thing, [name]?

i'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns... and lots of them.

so... is this the part where we shake hands?

the scars are starting to fade. i remember they drove you wild.

i've been doing some more research on human customs.

glad to know my romantic skills made an impression.

let's not go there.

i can afford the good stuff.

what about you? i'm starting to see some wear and tear.

don't forget to come up for air. and not just because all these people need you. because i need you.

if you're suggesting i'm scared... game on.

still trying to make me blush, huh?

i'd be lying if i said i didn't hope it would inspire a certain... mood.

it seemed like you needed time to... figure us out.

the worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again.

not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. just saying some of us know how to make it dance.

i've actually seen you dance. no comment.

i know there are other things you're good at.

probably not a lot of air in here. an hour if we're lucky.

so tell me. think a girl would fall for that?

it gets even better when you try it in bed.

you don't lack for places to get lost.

did we break anything last night?

you'll find a way to win. and when this is over, i'll be waiting for you.

if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there... meet me at the bar. i'm buying.

forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you.

come back alive. it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

we're in this 'til the end.

we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.

looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.

if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.

oh crap!

guess he didn’t like the food.

looks like we got the jump.

pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.

we won’t get a second chance.

that was me, sorry.

nothing like being stranded.

we’ll do more than that.

just the usual minor flesh wound.

what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?

i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.

stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.

drinks will be on me.

one of my favorite places to fight!

i’m hard to kill. you should know that.

it’s gonna be bad all over.

for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.

you’ve waited long enough for this day.

just wait ‘til this war is over.

you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?

how do i not have one of those?

surprise on our side for once. i like it.

brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.

[littlemochabunni]

You’re such a nice guy, a nice guy

synopsis: Toji is just being a nice guy. Helping a girl out in her time of need while you’re at home not knowing where he’s at and what he’s doing. Let him show you just how sorry he is.

pairing: Toxic!Toji x Bratty afab!Black reader

content: 18+ mdni. pwp, Toxic relationship, little angst, petty black fem reader, mean Toji, assumed cheating (Toji is an asshole but he's a loyal asshole), use of the n-word like twice, implied multiple o’s, brat taming, cunnilingus, spanking, cerv*x touching, overstim, dumbifaction, manhandling, hair pulling, full Nelson hold, backshots, c.pie (wrap it before you tap it bby) beta read. Pet names( baby, babe, sweetheart, Princess.)

Wc: 2.7k

a/n: This is my first smut ever and thanks to @peachy-dove for encouraging me and for beta reading! And shout to @rlvsmegumi for humbling my obsession for this creature of a man because insulting him was definitely a challenge before coming to her for help😭. Banner and boarders made by yours truly. Annnd on that note please enjoy 🥹💗

support & mdni

NSFW content under cut. Again minors gtfo.

It’s 2 am when your sleep is disturbed by multiple messages from your friends sending you photos of Toji and some girl around his arm leaving the club together. “What the actual fuck is this?!” You immediately sit up, feelings of anxiety and anger flooding your nervous system as you scroll through your contacts to call Toji debating if you were going to cuss him out or play dumb to figure out where the fuck he’s at. Honestly probably the latter with the amount of fury boiling in your veins.

The never-ending ringback tone plays in your ear as you’re, once again, sent to his voicemail. You opted for calling him a fourth time whilst you decide to spam his phone with text messages, but the usual blue turn green along with a reply message stating:

Msg 2110 - The customer you are trying to text is temporarily out of service.

“This fuckin—“ you let out an irritated groan, because of course this nigga’s phone service is off! And somehow he miraculously healed from the “pink eye” he supposedly had 7 hours prior when you last spoke to him too right? Since he’s out at some fucking club!

It’s going on 3 am when your rage turns into anguish as you call his phone for the nth time. You left voicemails ranging from calm, cool, collected, and concerned girlfriend to cussing him out saying, “Oh you no good community dick ass is out tryna fuck another bitch? You're fucking appalling Toji! Keep ya’ stank ass breath and dirty ass dick away from me. Go choke on a fucking Pepsi for all I care you fuckin’ dick!” You toss the covers off your body as you get up to turn the bedroom light on and began taking every article of clothing Toji has left in your apartment. Wanting to rid your life of anything of him completely, and as you're in the middle of your mental debate between throwing his shit in the dumpster or burning it, a loud banging at your door interrupts you. Reaching for the bat in your closet, you proceed towards your front door cautiously, as you stand on your tippy toes to peek through the peephole. It's covered by the person on the other side.

Attempting to use your deepest man-like voice you call out “Who is it?” “Baby open the door it’s me.” Rolling your eyes at the sound of Toji’s now sickening nickname for you, you let out an exasperated sigh. “One ‘m not your baby and two I dunno anybody named ‘me’. Get the fuck away from my door Toji.” “Y/N let me in so we can talk I just got your messages, you’re overreacting.” Gripping the bat in hand tighter as you open the door furiously.

“Oh, I’m overreacting Toji! Are you fucking serious? You get caught lying and cheating, but I’m over-fucking-reacting!?” you shout not caring about how early in the morning it is. This asshole came all the way here and the first thing he says is you’re overreacting? “Christ y/n, quit shoutin’ before you wake the whole damn neighborhood.” Toji proceed to walk inside your apartment as if it was another regular Tuesday. Grudgingly you step aside as he walks in “What happened? She kicked you out so you decided to come here?” You express as you slam the door turning toward him.

If this was a regular Tuesday, a lot less talking would have been done if he hadn’t fucked up so tremendously.

He scoffs as he continues to your living room, manspreading comfortably on the couch “I ain’t do nothin’ with her babe, I was just bein’ a good samaritan that’s it.” Your eyes hardened feeling infuriated by his words, you stomp towards him. “A good Samaritan Toji. Seriously? That's the best excuse you can come up with for lying about having pink eye, getting caught leaving the club with another girl, and having the audacity to come here like you did nothing wrong. Did you hit your head on the way outta her place or are you just that fucking stupid?” Toji rolls his neck as he sighs nonchalantly, “Look I ain’t do nothin’. I was out drinking with some friends and I got a bit wasted. After that, this girl bought me a drink, so I decided to talk to her. She was very nice and friendly but she had no place to sleep for the night. I thought giving her the key to my hotel room, I was just doing her a favor, you know? But I promise you nothing happened between us... I was just tryna be nice.”

You step in front of him, pushing the knob of your baseball bat into his broad chest, as you chuckle dryly. “You…being nice? Are you being serious right now?? You’re an idiot, you know that? You’re telling me that you were just trying to help out a complete stranger and outta the kindness of your heart. You just gave her your room? An-and for what? For her to have a place to stay for the night or so she’d end up repay you in another way? An-and what about you lyin’ to me huh? What happened to the ‘bad case of pink eye’?”

He kisses his teeth and pushes the bat away from his chest as he smirk at you leaning in closer. “Was just dry eye babe, my bad for gettin’ the two confused.” You push the bat back to his chest pushing him back against the couch, you grit through your teeth, “You're just a lying bastard. This whole time we've been together, every time you went out with your friends, I never even questioned it because I trusted you. Now, I catch you lying and you get caught red-handed by my girlfriends. And you know what's worse? You think I'm dumb enough to believe your stupid ass explanations. Well, I'm not! I deserve better than this. I deserve someone better than a lying ass, cheating piece of...”

Toji grabs the bat out of your hand standing over you feeling fed up with your bratty attitude as he speaks intermediately low, “I ain’t cheat on you, so cut that shit out or imma do it for you. Now you know better than to go around makin’ empty threats like that…” He smirks and caresses your hip teasingly, “Just lemme show you just how loyal I am baby.” Your eye slightly twitches as you look up at him and cross your arms over your chest. ��Screw you Toji. You fuck up and you think sex is gonna make things alll better?”

“Yeah, I do.” Toji pulls you in by your waist as he leans down looking smirking smugly, “Are you saying no to me? Really?” Toji brings a hand to your neck caressing your chin with his thumb, “I know you don’t mean it, but if you’re a woman of your word…” He leans down and whispers in your ear. “Tell me no.” You squeeze your thighs together as you try to fight your crumbling resolve, and in a weak attempt of resisting you place your hand on his chest. He chuckles and speaks huskily, “Can you resist me? Can you do it?”

Inhaling sharply you turn your head away from his touch and grumble, “Fuck you Toji… You’re drunk.” Toji flashes a devilish grin as he pulls you in close by your neck, placing a small kiss on your jaw before sliding his hand to the nape of your neck. “An you’re cute when you’re mad. Actin’ out just to get some attention, it’s cute really.” He kisses your neck, letting his tongue glide along the side slowly before biting it. Stifling a moan you try pushing away from his large figure refusing to lose so easily.

The brat in you taking things to the deep end, you look up at him smirking smugly as you say, “If I wanted some attention I’d be out helping some random nigga find his way back to my place, and give him a place to sleep for the night. Y’know, just be a Good Samaritan like that.” Toji’s eyes darken and his grip around your waist tightens. “Still bein’ a brat huh? Well since I’m being so generous, let me help you find your way back to your place.” Your smile drops as the realization of how badly you just royally fucked up sets in and all you can utter is a small, “Oh shit.”

Toji swiftly picks you up tossing you over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes carrying you to your bedroom. You gasp at the sudden movement you pound your fist against his muscular back, “Fuck Toji put me down, I was just joking shit!” He smacks your ass at your tantrum as your only warning, but as he approaches the disarray of your bedroom with his scattering belongings on the floor he chuckles dryly. “Well with all my shit on the floor, think you were pretty serious ‘bout that ‘lil joke.” Your very well-thought-out plan of begging for mercy goes straight out the window as he tosses you onto the bed, you let out a soft whimper once to lock eyes with his and he gives you a look only predators give their prey right before they devour them. “Nothin’ smart to say now, sweetheart?” With no turning back you decide to see how far you can push him, “Oh I have plenty to say, but I don’t think a poor creature like yourself would be able to comprehend...”

The sun kisses the horizon as Toji is slurping up your juices like it’s his last meal, his tongue flexing tight persistent circles on your swollen clit, your moans growing heavier whilst he brings you closer and closer to yet another orgasm he’s so generously given you. You grip his raven hair as you practically ride and push his face away reaching your third overwhelming orgasm of the day. “Fuuck! fucking waait T~” Toji groans deeply against your dripping cunt the vibrations send shivers up your back, and he flattens his tongue as he messily licks up your sticky release. Toji kisses up your thigh leaving soft love bites as he pulls away to stand up to remove his tight boxers that are restraining his hardened cock. “I think I’ve made you wait long enough for ya punishment, yeah?” You pant heavily as your back-to-back euphoric highs fog your brain. “T ‘m sorry… I- I learned my lesson.” As he pulls his boxers down freeing his twitching cock he shows you fake sympathy, “Aww my baby is sorry now? Tsk tsk tsk that could have probably worked earlier y’know instead of you being a fuckin’ brat.”

He grabs your ankles pulling you closer to the edge of the bed and manhandles you onto your tummy, gripping your ass whilst positioning you into a deep arch putting your glistening swollen cunt on display. Tapping his fat tip against your sensitive cunt, you jerk at the sensation moaning out soft pleas “Toji… Baby ‘m sorry okay? I didn’t me—..” He bottoms you out in one go without giving time to adjust to his massive size you moan out into the sheets as he thrusts hard and deep into your tight cunt. You moan out louder looking over your shoulder to see Toji playing and squeezing your plump ass, “Toji please pleaasee I-I I didn’t mean it!” he smirks down at you as he holds down your head to keep you from running from his thick cock hitting your sweet spot over and over. “Didn’t mean what huh? When you said I was fucking appalling? Oh fuuck— or when you said you were gonna let someone else fuck what’s mine huh? Or when you said that my dick was for everybody hmm? Which is it y/n.”

You can barely comprehend what he’s saying let alone hear his deep voice over your loud moans and the increasingly loud paps filling the room, and your fourth orgasm approaching fast. “Yes! Yes! Ah, fuuuck– ah T r-right there right there pleease!” Toji’s cock kissing your sweet spot with each of his brutal thrusts comes to a halt, and he pulls out chuckling at your cries. “Brats don’t get to make demands. Don’t mistake my generosity for forgiveness.” He teases you by rubbing his tip against your throbbing cunt, and watches you wiggle your ass trying to entice him, panting and begging as tears fall from your eyes.

“Please please pleease Toji! Please please fuck me.” Watching you cry for his cock causes something to snap inside of him… He grabs your arms locking them behind your back with one hand as he aligns his hardened cock with your swollen needy cunt, screaming as he slams his thick cock deep inside your walls. Toji covers your mouth thrusting deeper than before with an animalistic-like pace, he's practically fucking you onto his cock. “Thought I already told ya’ to quit that shoutin’ shit y/n. You wanted this shit, right? So fuckin’ take it.” You begin to drool and mumble incoherently against his hand, Toji tsk as he takes his hand away wiping your drool in your hair, pulling you up by your protective style against his chest whilst he continues to bully his slick-covered cock against your creamy walls. “Hmm? What was that? Got something to say, sweetheart?” Panting heavily you speak sultrily, “T-too m-much! Mmmm, please T! I-it’s too much! S-slow d-doown~” Toji groans as your cunt tightens and flutters around him and he lets go of your arms to reach down to your puffy clit, rubbing tight circles as he brings you undeniable pleasure.

“Why should I hmm? Did you slow down to fuckin’ think about what you said?” “T!! Waaaait ‘m sorry!” You shut your eyes tightly tears running down your face as your peek builds back up again faster and faster, you reach your hand back against his lower abdomen in a weak attempt to slow down his pace, crying as you moan out strenuously “Tojiii! I-I— oh fuuck please waait wait wa—” before you can plea anymore all it takes is a few more thrusts and you’re trembling uncontrollably as your release is gushing all over his lower abdomen and down the side of your covers onto the floor. Toji groans deeply and his begins to falter as he watches you squirt all over his cock. “Shiiiit Princess you like that? Fuckin’ take this shit.” He locks his arms under yours, putting you in a full nelson hold pounding into you poor cunt unforgivably as he chases his release. All thoughts and sounds leave you speechless as your tongue kills out and you drool down your chin whilst he fucks you through another unexpected high to reach his and the lewd expression on your face only drives him insane, “Fuucking good girl— oh fuck Princess.” His brows furrow while a small ‘o’ forms on his lip as watching you fucked out on his cock sends him over the edge. He groans out as he stuffs your cunt full of his thick cum, “Oh shiit y/n, fucking take that shit.” You babble and whine out in response unable to form coherent sentences “So full T— stuffed soo stuffed.”

Once he catches his breath he slowly lays you back down on the bed and pulls out causing you to hiss and whine at the lost contact. “Tojiii, put it baack.” He chuckles as he kisses your head and smacks your ass once he pulls away, “Shh, you’re tapped out. You can get some more later if you behave.” he walks to the bathroom to grab a wet rag and a towel for the bed, he comes back to clean you up, moving you over to the other side of the bed then places the towel under the large wet spot. He climbs into the bed laying you on his broad chest. After a short comfortable silence you pout softly and mumbles, “ ‘m sorry Toji.” You hear a deep rumble in your ear and Toji gently lifts your chin as he smiles smugly. “Aw sweetheart I don't want an apology,” He gently caresses your cheek as you smile sweetly at him.

“But what I do want is for you to go clean that fuckin’ mess you made with my shit.”

Well damn.

A/n: well I’m gonna turn my notifications off now byeeeeee

[lovelynim]

Daily report

Eighty Six - Shin & Theo and Raiden (feat. Lena)

A/N: Of course my first (official) client would be @wertzunge! Thank you so much for your constant support and your trust! I hope this is of your liking, my dear, dear customer ~

Summary: As the captain of the squad, Shin is giving Lena his daily report, but the call starts to get a little... unstable.

Word count: 1118 words

“And that’s how it went today, major,” Shin spoke softly, his eyes lost in the barren fields that surrounded the squad’s base at the Eastern Front First Ward. The night would be dead silent if it weren’t for the girl on the other side of the line and, obviously, the rest of the group that was still inside the old house. “That's all I have to report.”

“I’m glad to hear everything went well, captain,” Lena hummed on the other side of the line, her gaze fixed on the sketch book in front of her. “But this isn’t really the kind of answer I was expecting, if I’m being honest with you.”

Shin arched his eyebrow, puzzled. He already knew the girl wasn’t like the other handlers the Spearhead Squadron had in the past, but, still, what else did she want to hear? “Is that so? What were you expecting, major?” He muttered, leaning back in his chair, crossing his hands behind his back and one knee over the other. 

Lena giggled on the call, imagining what kind face the captain would be making. “When I asked you ‘how was your day’, I wasn’t requesting an official report, captain.”

“Ah,” he looked up to the starless sky, letting out a small chuckle, “my mistake, then.”

“Let me try again,” Lena smiled, twirling a strand of hair in her hand, “how was your day, captain?”

“Peaceful, I suppose,” Shin muttered, closing his eyes as he barely gave his own words much thought before speaking them out loud. There was no need for those formalities, after all. 

While Shin let himself sink in the casual - and private - conversation with the squad’s handler, two pairs of eyes peeked at him from the corner of the closest doorframe. Theo and Raiden slowly retreated back inside, with Shin’s voice almost fading in the distance.

“They are doing it again,” Theo mumbled, a pinch of annoyance in his voice. “Tsk, ‘let’s wrap up for today’ my foot, they just wanted to talk by themselves.”

“Hah, and you are jealous? Of him or the major?” Raiden teased, scoffing. Still, he couldn’t deny that it was - at least - curious that the oh-so-reserved Undertaker agreed in spending some hours of each of his nights chit chatting with the handler. 

Theo frowned, leaning to get another peek at his captain, “whatever. Are you ready?” The blonde grinned, looking at Raiden with the corner of his eyes and feeling excitement sparkle inside his chest when the other man nodded.

It was time to put their plan into action.

“...and then we had lunch together. It was pretty nice,” Shin commented, not aware of the shy smile that took place in his lips while talking to Lena - and also not aware of the two figures silently moving in the background. 

“I can imagine,” Lena, on the other end of the call, had already moved away from her desk. Strolling around her bedroom, the handler eyed the balcony, thinking about the squad under her care. “So, according to your report,” she continued, jokingly, “the squad went through some training during the afternoon. Did you join them this time, captain?”

“Someone needs to keep an eye on the group,” Shin replied in a monotone, making Lena wonder if he was being serious or joking back at her. While some other members were like an open book, it was pretty hard to get a grip on Shin's feelings sometimes. 

Walking over her bed, Lena sat on the edge of the mattress before allowing herself to fall on the soft surface. Swinging her feet in the air, the handler pondered about her next words, not wanting to let the conversation end at that point.

“But,” Shin resumed, picking up the topic from where he had left it. “I did take pa-ahart- h-hey!”

“Huh?” Lena frowned, rolling onto her side and laying on her stomach. “Captain, is everything all right?” She narrowed her eyes, doubling the attention she was paying to the conversation, but all she could hear from the other sound were… some sort of static? Or some other type of unknown noise. “Shin,” Lena insisted, “did something happen?”

“G-give meheh a secohond!”

Eh?

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, gently rubbing her eyes. She must’ve misheard it, but, for a moment, she could swear that Shin was… laughing?

“S-sure, but you’re ok, right?”

“Y-yehes, it’s just- agh, you two, stohohop it!”

“Huh? W-who is there?” Lena inquired, but nothing that sounded like an answer came from Shin’s end - just more noise, lots of noise. On the other side of the line, Shin fought as if his life depended on it. Sadly, it all seemed like a losing battle.

Theo and Raiden, working together like they never did, grinned at the Undertaker. 

“What’s wrong? ~ Aren’t you going to answer the major? ~” Theo teased, keeping his arm wrapped around Shin’s leg while his other hand dug and prodded at the sides of Shin’s thigh and the back of his restrained knee.

Raiden, standing behind the captain, held Shin’s head in an armlock while his other hand moved against the captain’s sides and ribs, playing him like some sort of instrument. Unlike Theo, Raiden remained quiet, not wanting his voice to be captured by the mic - still, there was no need for words when his expression said all he wanted to.

“I-it’s nohohoting, m-major,” Shin gritted his teeth, trying to somehow coordinate his moves between punching Raiden in the face and kicking Theo away - but it was all for nought. “J-just sohohome minor i-issues!”

Lena felt the back of her throat going dry, unable to say something back while Shin’s laughter echoed through the voice call. Lena felt some heat spreading up to her face, tainting her pale skin with a bright shade of red. “S-should we stop for today? I don’t want to-”

“NOHohoh,” Shin laughed, his voice raising slightly as Raiden managed to dig his fingers under his arm, “a-ahah, i-it’s fihihine!”

The handler jumped in her bed, sitting up in a hurry. “A-are you sure?” She chuckled nervously, pressing her hands against her flustered cheeks.

“Y-yehehes!” Shin pressed his eyes shut while a large grin spread over his face. “J-just gihihive me a sehecond t-to- agh, dahahamn it!”

“O-ok, ok,” Lena smiled, “I will call you back in a few minutes.”

click

As soon as her fingers hit the button, the handler fell back into her bed and let out a huge, dreamy sigh. “I can’t believe… they actually followed my orders. I need to thank Theo and Raiden later…” 

Lena reached for one of her pillows, wrapping it into a tight hug while she hid her flustered face. “Poor Shin, heheh…”

[underspacegame]

We are less than a month out from our Early Access launch. Excited? Sleepless? Suffering from splitting migraines as you try to parse documentation that’s useless to you because Google’s search capabilities have been gutted by corporate ineptitude and your previous talents of being able to figure out solutions and leverage online resources are now useless in the vast overwhelming face of tools that have become completely mediocre in their relentless idiotic pursuit of profits via the lowest common denominator that have degraded any utility to the point of unusability and it’s 3AM and your cat is screaming at you because she wants you to play with a plastic fish she brought you and you’re not supposed to be up this late and you accidentally dropped your last pain medication pill that might have made you at least capable of falling asleep down the drain?

No? Well then, good. Yeah. Let’s talk Early Access and what to expect, to better set your expectations and illuminate what’ll be in and what’ll be not-in.

The thing I want to emphasize over everything else is that we are a very small and overly ambitious team working on a VERY large game with a scope that dwarves even many AAA releases. As it stands and when it launches the amount of content that will be in, at launch, is massive. I have no doubt that many of you will be spending hundreds of hours dredging up every perverse secret the galaxy’s hidden away.

At the same time, we’re a VERY small team. Outside of our asset creators, the only person doing coding, bugfixing, UX, QA response, server integrity, mod support, etc, is me. And just me. This isn’t so much a single developer spinning multiple plates as it is a human trainwreck trying to twirl an entire restaurant, to the severe detriment of his health and sanity.

With all this in mind, our Early Access launch will not launch with the full scope of features and content planned for Underspace. Significantly, multiplayer will launch in a very early state that does not include NPCs, bosses, or the multiplayer campaign. On the singleplayer side, several questlines, extended ship customization and cockpit textures, and many planetside and station interiors will not be included in launch.

These features or content exist or are implemented in a working state, but are often heavily, HEAVILY untested or unpolished, to the point where keeping in game before they’re at least in a state I'd be comfortable with is not something I’m comfortable with.

Before you go off creating posts on various imageboards and badly rebranded social media sites decrying the Underspace apocalypse, keep two things in mind: these features are not gone or cut from the game. It’s much like Todd Howard’s kind smiling visage: even if you can’t see it it’s still there. Watching and waiting. When Early Access releases in April, we will be putting out a nice big roadmap showing a huge amount of upcoming updates to the game. These updates will be staggered out as major releases, which will include these missing pieces of content.

This also includes features or elements such as voice acting, bugfixes (as Early Access is always buggy), and further mod support.

The second thing to keep in mind is that Underspace, when it launches, will still launch with the majority of its content and the vast majority of its game features implemented. This includes the singleplayer main campaign, over 40 quests, all bosses, all points of interest, all factions, star systems, random missions, storm hazards, equipment, flyable ships, and probably many more things I’ve lost in the hazy maze that is my fried brain currently.

It has been a long long time coming, almost seven years in constant development. None of this would have been possible with the support of our backers and community, but there’s still more to go. Contributions, supporting us during the Early Access period, and of course relentlessly shilling it your friends will all help us massively, in no small part because this will also let us dedicate more resources to improving the game and getting it out in a reasonable timeframe that also, coincidentally, doesn’t overwork me to death.

And… that’s about it! If I survive, I hope to see you out in the stormy skies on April 10th!

[mmoonlightbunny]

GENYA x MODERN!AU

_____________________

G E N Y A S H I N A Z U G A W A

TRAINING DIVISION / ‘You… You cannot speak for what I’ve been through.’

• Genya who, over the years, had learned to both bottle and channel his emotions to fuel his survival instinct, because simply wishing for change isn’t enough.

• Genya who would purposely soil the fresh bandages to redo them himself, an ever present need to proof he was self-sufficient to all around them.

• Genya who couldn’t find a mentor because of who he was and his precedent reputation, almost forced to figure it all out on his own from very young. Well, that wasn’t new in his eyes.

• Genya who liked walking alone at night across the Districts, relishing on the drastic difference of worlds for other boys his age. Overhearing their biggest problems, situations, goals and oversights… It was endearing and very much distracting.

• Genya who towered over most around him, and avoiding stealth assignments in fear he could be easily spotted, yet he never was.

• Genya who kept a secret for months to the person who was closest to him, letting the silence eat slowly at his insides while coming up with a way to tell him the truth.

• Genya who grudgingly trained for years, polishing his one skill to perfection, only to discover that it wasn’t as fulfilling anymore.

• Genya who wouldn’t sleep at night and intently listened to the soft purring of the cat placed in his lap.

• Genya who after talking about it with a stranger, came to terms on how to face his truth, and the impersonation of it.

• Genya who cried for hours and was unable to speak for days without muttering apologies and rivers of tears. He had bottled it for too long this time.

• Genya who, out of nowhere, had a new train ticket and a packed up bag. The bag with a folder containing all his accomplishments and certificates, even if some of them weren’t entirely legitimate.

• Genya who had faced worst and gut-churning assignments before, but stepping into the new district seemed atrociously worse.

• Genya who learned he liked the feeling of orange fizzy drinks just as much as his new peers did, and that school subjects could be boring and sports weren’t as interesting. But others were, and it was refreshing.

• Genya who had to stick to a tailored profile of what he wished for his average life to be instead of what he had truly grown up into.

• Genya who was the new exchange student and certain rules wouldn’t apply to him. This made him interesting to others, and everyone would gravitate towards him to soak up on the mystery.

• Genya who always blushed around one girl in particular, his ears turning bright red and forehead slick with sweat. The midnight phone calls will tease him endlessly about it.

• Genya who now stayed up late while flipping through pages and not overseeing a crosshair in a green lens, actively trying to stay awake for another 18 hours.

• Genya who seemed to be more confused by trivialities and customs than over types of ramen, sometimes being overwhelmed by the amount of choices he had.

• Genya who excelled at his finals with modesty, keeping his success to himself. Until he arrived to a surprise party, organised by who he once thought would be against his new path. He was his biggest supporter.

• Genya who was overly talkative after his first sips of alcohol and confessed his fear of frogs, his crush’s name and admitted that he had always been right to push him away from their past, words he would never repeat until much older.

• Genya who was gifted a handwritten letter and a small wolf made out of felt on Valentine’s day by his crush. Her pink eyes were filled with joy when she did this and he would see them at night before going to sleep.

• Genya who had an alarm set up at midnight, because he made a habit of checking in with him, even if it was a series of grunts on the phone.

• Genya who had realised he was happier now, and it was bittersweet he couldn’t convince him to do the same, to walk away and start over.

genzuko is real and you can’t change my mind about it.

i’ve been working on modern!sanemi and will be posting sometime soon to complete the hashira headcanons.

bunny

[disordercinema]

To add to your retail AU-

Fred worked right next door to the store and was really close with Tubbo and Tubbo fell in love with him. The store ended up moving so now Tubbo sulks about it, especially when he sees Pac and Fit flirting. His background is also him and Fred.

Fred is the son of the store owner so he just moved with the building. Now instead of working next door, they work a couple of blocks from each other. Tubbo always acts like he moved continents.

Other members would come by and just talk for a while.

Bolas is just that one dnd group that hangs around after closing hours. Phil doesn’t do shit about it, he’ll actually join in with them every once in a while.

Bad would often yell at Tubbo for his mannerisms, like cursing while talking to a customer or back talking.

Pierre is the tech support that everyone calls if Tubbo doesn’t know how to fix it himself or makes it worse.

If someone is yelling at an employee and no one can calm them down and Phil is needed, he kills them with kindness. If someone yells at one of the kids though, he gets pissed.

The island is frequently visited. People will stay for a few months or less but most leave rather quickly. It’s small enough to where everyone knows everyone, but everyone knows the islanders as they’re own group.

The Islanders are one big family and are willing to do a lot for each other. If you argue cross one of them, you cross all of them.

The Federation is a government system and Cucurucho is the mayor

The eggs are the islanders children still. They came from an overcrowded orphanage so they took them in.

This is it! For now maybe- idk.

I like, I like, tho I don't follow all

I had imagined Bolas as like, the employees of the other store Philza owns across the city. All the employees are insanely terrible at their jobs but somehow always outperform the morning crew's store especially during holiday season and Tubbo absolutely hates them for it. He has a whole one sided rivalry with them and comes up with crazy plans to win against them while most of their stategy is just "Let's figure out a way to leave early".

I don't see a reason why the kids would be at the store, but I like Pierre being the tech support. I think Bad would be a former Karen turned regular after Philza won against him during a passive-aggressiveness-kindness-disguised contest. He starts going there out of pettiness, but actually becomes friendly with the employees over time and it is close to his job (daycare worker) so it's easy for him to buy stuff on the way home. Sometimes Tubbo convinces him to go terrorize Bolas when he finds out Bad has an errand across town and he does it for discounts.

I also like the idea of the Fred being from a nearby shop, maybe a flower shop?

The Federation would 100% the heads of the Retailers Association, always in contact with the government, observing and making sure the policies are being followed. Fit gets a spot in it for his strong presence in the union and all he does is cover up for all the things his store fails to comply on. Cellbit gets a place in it too, because he used to be a general manager at another big retail company, but he fucking hates it and wants to leave so he has been trying to get kicked out by leaking shit he shouldn't and it somehow doesn't work because no one figures out it was him.

I really like your ideas, this is just what my brain cooked since I made that post lmao

[may-bee-its-just-me]

personal life update

Hey yall, i figured i'd take some time to give a personal life update as well as allow myself to vent for a second. I'll start with the positives for those not interested in the emotional bits :]

I've been making more substantial steps towards buying a car! I've been looking into this one Saturn, and while it's got a few minor issues, it's still my best option so far. Hoping to buy it for 2000, or 2500-3000 if the seller is willing to continue fixing the current known issues.

I've also been growing a bit closer to God, and I've been finding peace among the chaos. I'm learning to lean on Him for support - which has been an uphill battle against myself and the feeling I need to cling onto what i can control, but when i have been able to let go it's been very freeing. I'm still working on myself and growing in Christ, but progress is progress.

I recently got promoted to Crew trainer (about a month or two ago). I'm now making 75 cents more an hour than I did this time last year, after two biannual performance reviews and a promotion. I heard rumors that I'd been in consideration for a management position but I havent been talked to about it specifically, and I'm not sure if I'd accept if offered it. Still flattering to know though :]

Apparently more than once, customers have spoken to my managers and possibly even some higher ups praising my work ethic. I think its specifically when working on front counter/in lobby, as I'm most actively engaging with customers then and they can see me compulsively scanning over lobby for trash when im otherwise not busy. Regardless, it's nice to know I'm making a genuine positive impact on customers' experiences and potentially the rest of their days. Today, one such pair of customers is an older couple known for being very particular, occasionally rude/difficult to serve. They had already called our regional manager that day to complain before I was moved up front, saw them, and said hi. Later on one of my managers came up to me and had mentioned they liked me, and I assume said something to them about it. :]

On the flip side, i've been in a depressive funk for several months now. I'm actually questioning if it's a depressive funk, or if I'm always depressed and sometimes it's just...not as bad. But the last few weeks have been worse. I'm struggling to take care of myself, and while it's not as bad as it has gotten before - I went three days without showering this week and lately i've been routinely skipping showers after maintaining showering almost daily for a year.

For the last few weeks I keep going back and forth between losing my appetite, and eating myself into feeling sick. I'm pretty sure this is from grief and will pass though.

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks/almost a month ago. For reasons, although there wasn't any real conflict between us during the relationship, it was more internal conflict and convictions. We'd been getting distracted with each other, putting off other things to spend time with each other. He needed to focus on his health and figuring his life out. Part of me still wants to cling onto hope he'll come back around, wants to go back and fight back against his reasons for leaving, because I damn know he still cares about me more than friends. But I'm trying to just trust that if we're meant to be, God will bring us together again naturally when we're ready for it. Trying to focus on getting my shit together on my end, and let Him figure the rest out. We're still friends, and through the relationship we were always friends above all else, so I'm thankful to still just have him in my life. I'll be okay, but the grief does eat away at me sometimes. I thought I had been recovering from it pretty well, but that was suppression (oops). I keep going back and forth from feeling okay about it, and feeling like a piece of me is missing. I even get mad at him from time to time, blaming him for my hurt feelings. "You promised forever" "you actively encouraged me to open up and lean on you, encouraged me to share my burdens with you, and now im supposed to just be okay with that ripped away" and then i see him, and i remember its not his fault, and he's always had my best interest in mind. Even in breaking up with me, he was doing out of the place of wanting what was best for both of us, and thought I deserved someone who already had everything together and wasnt a mess in himself. I know he genuinely meant every word he said in the moment, because i saw him. I saw it in his eyes. I saw it in his actions. I found the card he gave me for my birthday, and it made me cry, because it hurts my heart to think he's breaking both of our hearts needlessly. But everything happens for a reason, and so I'm trying to just...go with the flow of wherever this season of my life takes me. It hurts to think of either of us moving on with someone else, but whatever happens happens. I have so much love to give, and it's a challenge to find somewhere in the tangible physical realm to put it.

Silver lining, he said I can keep the shirt and hoodie he had let me borrow before. I've been wearing his hoodie everywhere...The only thing stopping me from still carrying my promise ring around is the sensory issues that caused me to stop wearing it to work in the first place.

The few coworkers I've told are convinced we're going to get back together soon, but again, trying to trust God and not my own hopes and dreams lol At the very least, no one can gossip about the break up because they can still see us laughing and getting along fine at work. A different couple had briefly broken up, and the amount of gossip that was floating around was awful - everyone talking trash about either person involved because there was a lot of friction between them. I'm just glad that wont be the case for us, and if we don't reunite anytime soon, at least we can still function at work more or less normally.

thats all tonight folks. Thanks for reading, God bless.

-Mod Bee🐝

[satoshi-mochida]

Maid Cafe on Electric Street launches this summer

From Gematsu

Maid Cafe on Electric Street will launch for PC via Steam this summer, publisher PLAYISM and developer Adventurer’s Tavern announced.

Here is an overview of the game, via its Steam page:

About

Maid Cafe on Electric Street is a leisurely maid cafe adventure set in the otaku haven of Nipponbashi, Osaka. The protagonist of our story quits his job at an extremely toxic workplace and finds himself at a run-down maid cafe tucked away in a quiet part of Nipponbashi. There, he meets the maid Shiro. One thing leads to another, and he eventually gets appointed as the temporary cafe manager and put in charge of the management of the maid cafe. As the new manager, his first task is to scout cute girls to work at the cafe. Time to explore Nipponbashi and all the otaku stuff it has to offer!

Get to know the four unique main girls: Shiro, Miyu, Favna, and Honoka, all voiced.

Immerse yourself in lighthearted stories about everyday life with the cute maids.

Enjoy the modern and gorgeous pixel art graphics depicting even the finest details, including the meat buns next to the convenience store cashier and the figures on the shelves of an anime shop.

Go on fun dates at Nipponbashi, from anime shops to arcades to the cinema!

The Four Main Girls of Fuwa Fuwa

Shiro – “Um, please be the new manager of the cafe!” A maid who loves Fuwa Fuwa Cafe. A huge otaku for anime and video games, she talks really fast when she’s gushing about the things she loves, and often splurges on merch without thinking whenever she visits an anime shop. A little clumsy, but works hard every day to become the cute maid she’s always wanted to be.

Miyu – “Hey Mr. Manager, thanks a bunch for hanging out with me today~☆” A game otaku and gyaru with a big appetite. Loves both eating and cooking, and apparently really enjoys serving her cooking to customers at Fuwa Fuwa Cafe. Is actually Shiro’s friend on the online game Magic Angel, so they knew each other before actually meeting in real life.

Favna – “I am the Slayer of the False God, the Queen of the Kingdom of Darkness, the All-Seeing Oracle, the Guardian of the Dream of All Things—“ A mysterious girl dressed in gothic Lolita fashion. Speaks in riddles and demands the protagonist become her familiar. She sometimes accidentally drops the edgy act when she’s taken by surprise though, so maybe she’s just got a serious case of chuunibyou…?

Honoka – “Ya want a thrivin’ business? That there sounds like a job for our shrine!” A girl with a Kansaiben dialect who works as a shrine maiden at her family shrine. Practically in charge of the shrine, she is reliable and very good at handling money, and has a strong sense of responsibility to boot. On top of that, she’s also the only glasses girl at Fuwa Fuwa Cafe!

Support Your Maid Cafe Employees as the Manager

As the cafe manager, it’s your job to allocate work to your maids. Make sure to give the right girl the right job! For example, Shiro is always enthusiastic to serve customers, and Miyu is great in the kitchen. Of course, you can’t just sit there while they work. During opening hours, you’ll also have to make coffee and help out on the floor, so it’s not as easy as it sounds!

The Stunning Sights of Nipponbashi

In order to recreate the atmosphere of the real Nipponbashi, the game features several real stores you can find there, such as Surugaya, Sofmap, Dragon Star, Super Potato, and Karaoke Rainbow, among many others. Don’t forget to pay them a visit when you’re shopping or taking one of your maids on a date!

Collectable Capsule Toys

If you’ve been to the real Nipponbashi, you’ll know that there are capsule toy machines all over the area. In this game, you can also try your hand at collecting your favorite capsule toy series and experience that unique gacha thrill of not knowing what you’re getting. As you collect more toys, you can even bring them up in conversations with the girls. Keep cranking those machines until you’ve collected them all!

Watch a new trailer below.

Indie Live Expo 2024 Trailer

English

Japanese

[raestarz]

Rookie Hour

Chapter Six - Mixed Emotions.

A/N: Eat this up, y'all because this is great and I love every part of this. Let me know if you guys would want me to switch between Leon and Kyaire's POV's every chapter.

Word Count: 2k To my loves who've been supporting me from the beginning, this is for y'all... @mrmidnight6 @neteyamsmunch

——————————————————————————————————

I stared at the body of…what was his name again? Right, Ben…God, poor guy he didn’t deserve to die. I shuddered, my mind raced with thoughts. What was that thing that killed him? Is it gonna be after us next? How’re me and Leon gonna survive against that thing? Jesus fuck, Leon called out for my name.

“Kyaire?” He asked, grabbing my shoulder gently, I snapped back to reality and looked at him. His face was concerned and soft whenever he looked at me, he was so caring, constantly looking for the best in people when I saw and knew the worst. We were complete opposites but we fit together so well. I stared into his eyes for a long time feeling myself getting lost in them, they were such a soft blue but full of life and hope. I wanted to protect him despite him being two years my senior, I felt the need to protect him. God what the fuck? Why is my heart racing? Whatever I need to answer him.

“Yeah, Leon?” I answered trying to give him a small smile despite our circumstances and well trying not to glance at the obvious dead body on the floor. He knew everything wasn’t fine or that I wasn’t based on the way he frowned slightly. “I’m here if you need me, okay?” He offered giving my shoulder a light squeeze, and if I wasn’t black I’d be blushing red as fuck, but luckily I’m black so thank God. I could just feel my face heat up, I must be sick or something I dunno. I nod at his offer before looking down the hall.

“We gotta keep going,” I mutter and notice a red handle bar to the side on a table going over to it then grabbing it. This’ll be useful later, I put it into my pouch which somehow holds so much shit. I glanced at Leon and he looked deep in thought, I figured he’d tell me later and I saw a printed out memo talking about the power panel. I glance over at it near the jail cell putting two and two together, realizing we need custom power panels to power it and get that parking pass. Which are in the generator room, which is…fuck. Where the fuck are they? I groan internally shifting my feet, “We need to find the generator room.” I say outloud to Leon and hear his boots come over gently, taking the memo out of my hands. I watch as he reads over it as well, after a few silent beats and me paranoidly listening out for zombies or whatever the hell killed Ben from earlier.

“There’s one in the generator room and one in the clock tower, you think we should split up and go get them?” He speaks up, giving me a small smile, I shake my head. “Leon, this is not a horror movie we’re sticking together.” I stated giving him an eye roll, he gave me a small laugh and nodded. “You have a fair point, we’re better together.” He says, and for some reason my stomach does a somersault and my heart flutters. I shook my head giving him a small smile trying to shake whatever nerves he just gave me, “Lead the way then, rookie.” I teased and he nudged me with his shoulder gently before walking ahead of me.

We walked down the corridor and out of the jail area, back to the parking garage. Heading over to the next door with the green light figuring that since it wasn’t red it was unlocked, and right we were. Look at us two: a rookie cop and a civilian who hated cops, working together against the odds. Who knew? As we made our way inside Leon and I both clicked our flashlights in unison, I laughed under my breath at how in sync we were now. It was like when I moved, he moved and vice versa. We went straight down the hall to the firing range, Leon grabbed a tin storage box, opened it and took out a bent car key I snorted at the sight.

“Hey, maybe it has some use.” He replied to my snort giving me a brazen smile, I rolled my eyes in response, laughing softly. “Well, let’s hope it does.” We go further into the shooting range going past a door that requires a diamond key to open it, which we unfortunately didn’t have. Going into the part of where you shoot the target’s in the shooting range, I walk over spotting the shotgun shells near an officer's body which gets up and grabs me before I can react. 

“Ky!” Leon shouted and suddenly I heard a ringing in my ears, I let out a small groan as I realized that the zombie that had grabbed me was on the floor dead and its head popped. I still heard ringing and turned to face Leon, it looked like he was talking to me when he ran over to me holding my shoulders. Holy shit, he’s pretty, his lips were just so kissable. I wanted to lean in and suddenly I was for a moment till I heard Leon’s voice again, “Kyaire? What’re you doing?” He asked softly, and I took a step back blinking fast and hard. There’s no way in hell I almost kissed him, no, no…But I had to respond to his question, but I also wished that the zombie that grabbed me had bitten me. Because I have never been so embarrassed in my fucking life! Oh my fucking God this is more embarrassing then the time I got caught sneaking out by Sherry, and she made me play teatime with her. 

Suddenly hearing another zombie shift and rise, I pull myself out of his grasp taking out my multi shot handgun putting the fucker down as it’s head bursts. I turn and look at Leon, his eyes meet mine, and I’m absolutely mesmerized by him again. I need to stand up because there’s no way in hell I’m acting like this over a white man. But Jesus, Mary, and Joseph the way he makes me feel is insane. Do I like him romantically? No! No, no, no…We’re just friends not even strangers who are becoming friends from a shared trauma experience. I shake my head snapping out of it.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” I suggest my heart racing and I walk past him not waiting for a response he lets out a small huff following after me.

We take a right going down the hall hearing a small howl and reaching the kennel. I grimaced wondering if there were more zombie dogs in there. I handed him the box of shotguns I picked up earlier silently, he whispered a small ‘Thank you’ and I nodded in acknowledgement. We went into the kennel, dogs immediately attacking us and we shot them quickly as they came. The silence between us was strong and so was the tension, plus me avoiding what happened didn’t help or add on to the stress from the apocalypse. We, I mean me, didn’t need adding probable feelings or emotions into this already shit show of a situation.

As we got through the kennel going to the back hallway my urge to speak grew so much more, but I still had that fucking embarrassment from earlier. What if he finds me I dunno like a sister to him? That’s not possible. I turn twenty in three weeks and a day, God I hope he doesn’t think I’m weird or grotesque to him. I groan internally and bang my head against my hand silently, God I’m so fucking stupid why, why, why God! Any other time! It’s fine, it’s cool I don’t like him romantically. We go into the morgue and open the dead body rollers until we find the diamond key, I let out a small breath and see the zombie lunge at me luckily I was able to dodge out of the way and shoot the zombie in its head. I pocket the diamond key and sigh, Leon clears his throat and I manage to pull my eyes to his. The silence between us is deafening. 

I lean against the wall and look at him, I prop myself up with my foot. He stares back at me, trying to give me a small smile, Leon opens his mouth as if he’s about to speak and then closes it. 

“What is it, Leon?” I ask in a harsh tone which is never what I never meant it to sound like and he flinches slightly, “Sorry,” I mutter and look down at the floor. I honestly feel like shit, I feel like I’m losing a piece of me which is so unnerving. I only met him a couple of hours ago but the attachment I have to him is startling. This isn’t normal. I take a deep breath and my eyes meet his blue ones again. His eyes are swimming with so many emotions and I honestly don’t know what to say or do.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I just…I hate this silence between us, is there something wrong?” He asked his voice soft and low, but his eyes glanced at the door into the morgue every so often. I feel like my chest is tightening and I can’t breathe, I let out a small breath. I lick my lips, why do I feel like this? This isn’t fair. I hate it here. I hate how I feel. I hate everything right now. I close my eyes and sigh before thinking things through. 

“I’m just overthinking things, which is something I unfortunately do…” I mutter and run my hands over my face, I realize I can’t just say that and leave it at that. “I’m just tired of this situation and the constant fucking puzzles.” I sigh and look at Leon, his eyes are so understanding and suddenly I feel guilty for lying but it was technically the truth. He held his arms out for me to hug him and I took two long strides over to him, letting him hug me and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when he put his head on top of mine. Leon rubbed my back gently and held me as long as I needed him to, the feeling of his warmth when his arms wrapped around me is parallel to the feeling of taking that first warm sip of hot cocoa. Weird comparison but he was just that warm, I nuzzled my face into his shoulder taking a deep breath. His musk was nice but the cologne he was wearing was nice. It was a refreshing smell better than rotting flesh, I slowly pulled out of the hug and he held my face in his hands.

God I want him to kiss me. Shit, do I have feelings for him? Nah, I don’t…I’m just tripping.

Right?

Right.

As he held my face in his hands, he gave me the sweetest smile ever and I felt myself melting, this is not how I should feel and I wanna run away but I’m staying because we need each other but I’m not gonna say that. “Are we okay…?” He asked softly, and I wished and prayed to God none of these zombie fuckers existed because this would be so romantic. But it’s not! Cause I’m not into him, ok guys? I’m really truly not. Everything is fine and great.

“We’re okay,” I whispered and he caressed my cheek with his thumb. I smiled back at him. Leon takes his hands off my cheeks and we leave out of the morgue heading down the hall till we reach a closed shutter and I take out the handlebar from earlier, putting it into the hole that perfectly fits it, turning it till it opens. Leon lets out a low whistle, “Well, aren’t you strong?” He teased with a smile, I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, you’re the one with all the muscles.” I state with a laugh and we go up the stairs to the right finding the generator room. I grab the orange box sitting on top of a stool prying it open and finding one of the electrical parts we needed. “Well, one out of two…That’s fantastic.” I laugh softly, my eyes meeting Leon’s happily. God, I hate how good he makes me feel.

I don’t like him…Right?

[aladaylessecondblog]

Red Mountain Waffle House pt. 19

"And there you go. Enjoy yourself."

Jiub handed over what looked like a rolled-up piece of pumpkin-stamped plastic wrap to a Dunmer that quickly left.

"And what exactly was that?" Nibani spoke up, having just come out of the bathroom and noting this gift.

"It's the Witches Festival. I'm giving things out."

"That wasn't a child asking for sweets OR a beggar asking for alms. Was that moon sugar? Skooma, maybe?"

"It's weed. Half my customers are Urshilaku...I'm not seeing the problem here."

"The problem," Nibani huffed, "Is that you're doing it from behind the counter. Do that outside if you have to do it at all."

"In this weather?" Jiub gestured toward the exit. An ash storm had kicked up, and looked to be turning red. "If Sadara were still here I could have her do it. Girl wouldn't catch anything, what with having corprus and all."

There was a brief rush, and for the next half hour they didn't have the chance to talk.

After a chain of waiters and waitresses, Nibani had finally been unable to find anyone willing to work the night shift and had taken to doing the duty herself. It had her in none too good a mood, despite the drop in Sixth House related customers. Jiub figured she'd be happy about that, but there'd been more ordinators too, and they were a fair sight more troublesome.

"And when are you going to put on a shirt?"

"Huh?"

"I said, when are you going to put on a shirt?"

"It's my costume!" Jiub protested with a laugh, "I'm one of those weird Sixth House dreamers."

"Really? That's not only lazy--"

"But also blasphemous, yada yada yada." Jiub finished his cigarette and went to trying to scrape up a patch of burned in egg on the grill. "It couldn't be less of a problem. Maybe focus on finding someone that actually wants to work at night?"

"Were you always this snotty?" Nibani grumbled. "Nobody wants to work this shift and deal with the ordinators and cultists anymore."

"And the skooma heads, don't forget about them. You chased off the only person that did. Congrats. Could've had the big man in a better mood, and Nerevar too, but--"

"Nerevar?"

"Yeah, he was by looking for..." Jiub stopped as another couple people showed up. One was dressed as a Telvanni mushroom and the other as a guar. He handed them each a little wrapped up chunk of weed, gave them their orders for waffles, and then went back to the grill. "Anyway, I don't think he's doing the prophecy any more than Sadara was, considering he's currently shtupping the Sharmat."

He nearly dropped the spatula when he heard what she said next.

"What is it about this man that makes Nerevar and his incarnates act SO unwise?"

Not for the first time did Jiub thank his lucky stars that the idea of sex had no power over him. If Dagoth Ur was that much a rizzmaster they might all have been in danger if he'd any interest in anyone unconnected to Nerevar.

--------------------------

"Dwemernet Executive Support, what's your thousand gold per hour problem?" Sotha Sil paused when there was shouting on the other end. "No, your inability to run a team full of bots in Team Fortress 2 is not my problem - yes, you are paying for service, but your disconnect is your own fault."

Another pause.

"Would you prefer to have no access at all?"

Again the sound of shouting on the other end of the call.

"That's not a threat, Dagon, it's a promise." Sotha Sil finished the sentence and moved over to a monitor to the side of his main and largest one. "Choose your next words carefully."

Incomprehensible shrieking.

"Oh," Sotha Sil's voice was momentarily breathy. "Look at that. You just lost access. I'll be sure to let everyone know of Oblivion's dwemernet outage...which I estimate will last at least a day."

He mistyped when there was a particularly loud shout and his headset went to speakerphone.

"--and AFTER I finish pissing out the fire I set to what's left of Ald Sotha, I'm going to build a NEW shrine on top of it and--"

Sotha Sil typed again, and fixed the speakerphone. "I am ending the call. When you feel as though you can behave with decorum and dignity, I will be available to take your call."

He ended the call, and blocked the number's further attempts to get him back on the line. The extinction burst ended only an hour later, and Sotha Sil amused himself in knowing that the daedric princes' policy of self policing would take care of this problem.

The Coldharbour Compact was very mysterious for a reason - for who would believe that the one thing to keep them from crossing over was the threat of no longer maintaining the labyrinthine complications of running the Dwemernet to all planes of Oblivion?

Sotha Sil set the line to Do Not Disturb and left the room.

-----------------------------------

It seemed to be the one day a year nobody minded people wearing an Indoril helm, so long as they were the designated color that ordinators didn't wear...so that was what Sadara had done, with one slight addition - a Spirit Halloween shirt. It felt appropriate, considering. Nerevar's influence here and then not here, replaced with something else.

No, she just didn't want to spend much time or money on a costume when she was too old to really enjoy it anyway. Or at least, too old to enjoy it the way kids did...well, that and not really knowing anyone who would get her into a good party. There were some here in Mournhold, sure, but...

Eh, do I really WANT to go to a party, though, considering what happened at the last one?

Barenziah was done with her for the day, though, so she went out with a handful of gold pieces and a small bag of candy, handing them out to any beggars or children that asked. The night was a bit chill, so she decided to head down to one of the shops and get a coat.

Wow, she thought. A coat. A NEW coat.

Coat purchased, she went back out and stopped at the newstand. Maybe if Barenziah was so fond of those cigars from Black Marsh, she ought to try them too. A single one wasn't THAT expensive...

...that was her thought, anyway, until she saw her own face on one of the gossip rags and THE DAGOTH DIVORCE.

She huffed. "Divorce, there was barely a marriage to begin with!"

Despite knowing it was probably a bad idea, Sadara decided to buy one and read what was being said inside.

She realized almost immediately that she should've listened to her intuition.

A sad story indeed, this particular marriage. After a courtship that would make most heads spin, a whirlwind romance for the ages, a heart lies in ashes. One can hardly expect the Sharmat to behave decently, but this disloyalty to a bride no doubt in awe of the charisma that won him her hand is a new low.

Sources say that the demon of Dagoth's decision was prompted by Saint Nerevar's revival, being that it was him who held the--

Sadara crumpled up the magazine, threw it into a trashcan next to the newstand, and headed back without even getting the cigar she'd meant to. What in oblivion WAS that, and why was she being portrayed as some sort of lovestruck waif? Why was it she saw or heard about this so often?

New rule, she thought, No more looking at magazine headlines. No looking at Morrowtwitter, not that I was going to anyway. Just go to work and play the lute and maybe pick up another new hobby. Make sure there is never even a remote chance of a thought occurring.

She stayed out a bit longer, though, making sure to hand out the rest of the candy to a couple kids that passed by and on a whim the gold she'd intended to spend on the cigar too, before heading back to the palace.

Sadara practiced in her room with her lute for an hour and, in a turn entirely unlike her, fell asleep at a reasonable time.

At least asleep she didn't have to deal with any of this nonsense.

[agentjayrock]

Uber? Lyft? What the hell is going on?

Ever had to contact customer support and heard over an automated voice instead of a human? How about contacting them and once you explain to them your issues only for them to give you ready-made responses as they haven't clue of what you're talking about? Well, that's been my excrcuiating experience as a driver for both companies at the same time. So, let's dive into how ludicrous it's been.

Let's start with Uber since it's rich with crazy stories. Uber has kind of a fair hourly wage going $25-30. You can receive payments on weekly basis like most jobs and contracts. Or you can have instant access to your money and even cash out once you've finished your shift with the Pro Card. Of course, I would choose the latter because why not? Normally I cash out directly to my debit card and needed I new one some time ago. I went in to change the details for the new card and had to undergo a security code verification via text message. I never received it so I had to contact support. I explained the issue I had and was told to whilelist my phone number from a text message. That's strange. How come I can receive text messages from Pro Card just fine when logging in, but not for this? Because this didn't work. I thought that this had to be a problem in their end. Now, a good tech support agent would troubleshoot such an issue should a solution like that not work. Not here; they "took it to further support" (Bear with here. I couldn't remember exactly what they said.) in order to resolve my issue. Their response: logout and in, reinstall the app and restart my phone. None of that worked because it's the most half-assed set of solutions of all time. Imagine if EA told you do that with their games you try to boot up. It'll just add the notoriety they're known for having.

It didn't feel like I was chatting with a human, so I decided to call support for a better chance. I had to wait (Get ready for this) ONE MOTHERFUCKING HOUR just to talk with someone. I can't believe I had the patience for that. I finally get to talk with an agent, only for them to tell me the same. Damn. Thing. Dude, what the fuck? Is Uber run by Skynet or something?! I kept contacting until I remembered why I had to whitelist the phone number I've been using with my account: it's because it's believed that it was being blocked by the provider. The number here is one I had setup for business reasons via TextFree, so I contacted them about it and they told me there was no issue on their end. Is Uber screwing with at this point? But, I went and switched the number on my account to my personal one, thinking that the business number is being assumed to be a VoIP, which is not allowed with some services. I finally get the code needed to finalize debit card changes to my Pro Card account.

Now this next story really interfered with my job significantly. I've been doing rideshare look normal, steady with a consistent schedule I setup for myself. The one thing that annoys me is that I have to verify my facial identity every once in a while. I mean, you know what I look like. Nothing too drastic has changed about me. So, why do I gotta go through this as I begin the job at a desired time? One day, I randomly go into the trip preferences menu to see it go from this:

To this:

Note: the Uber Eats food delivery preference is suppose to be there, but I didn't take a screenshot before it disappeared.

Of course, I had to talk to an agent. But this was more aggravating. I tried my damnedest to explain this issue. The agent, however, couldn't seem to figure out what I mean. Did they not have any job training? Once that was sorted, the agent said things like "This should be the type of experience for you to have" or "We understand your concern". Do ya, really? Because you should've went deeper into it by now. Continuing with this chat, guess what they told me then: the same solution from the Pro Card "troubleshoot", but that didn't work because THE APP IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM! I disconnected and got in contact with a different agent. This bullshit repeated, but I got a whole new response. I got confirmation of my eligibility to have these preferences, including UberXL, and it was still approved. They also actually spent the time to look into it for a few minutes, although it was longer than. The problem involved the inspection of the vehicle I have registered. They wanted me to show an image of a newly documented inspection, but I don't have to worry about it for another 6 months. In my state at least, (I'm from the USA) I have to perform an annual inspection for legal validity of driving the vehicle, and it's $100. Doing this every 6 months makes no sense and it feels like it'll lead to an endless money pit, as a certain mechanic would say.

After that was sorted, I went back to doing the job like normal, only for it to happen again the next week. Starting to feel like Uber has a grudge against me. I go back to dealing with the same ol' crap more frustrated than ever, even angry, and get an unexpected response: I'm not eligible to perform UberXL rides. Well, isn't this the most inept thing to happen here? I drive a minivan, goddammit. What do you mean I'm not eligible? I just disconnected and almost didn't bother to reach another agent. But, I'm managed to collect myself and get it sorted out like last time. I'm certain this will happen again however.

On the Lyft side of things, the same issue with support, except this is about emblems. Speaking of those emblems, the adhesive is weak sauce. So, I needed new ones. You can order new ones from the site or app with the push of a button. It's suppose to arrive within week, but didn't as that time range passed. I had to contact an agent, but it was hard to do it on the app because for some reason, they have too high of expectations that problems are solved with FAQs. But this is a troubleshooting issue; there's no way they can believe things can work fine that easily all the time. I had to go to the site to get help, and they responded by arranging a new order, which did arrive. Thing is, I've had this problem since I first signed up. I didn't even get my training kit with the cool pink mustache. After those emblems wear out too soon, I had to order another pair. Here's me thinking "Maybe they sorted out that issue with the delivery". But something even worse happened:

And as of the date of this blog post, it's still like this. Why? I even contacted them with this screenshot and they just gave me an automated message saying they'll just reship the emblems. This shouldn't have to be the only way to obtain new emblems beside the Express Hubs, which is too far from where I live. And they didn't arrive this time. If I contact them about any other problem, it'll just be the same type of response instead of troubleshooting.

Now, I don't know too much about the experience with support for riders since I've not used rideshare often. But I'm sure there's similar issues. The fact that this is the type of support we receive is unacceptable. It's as if they only measure their success financially based on the quantity of users. With the money they make, you'd think they could hire more competent employees for tech support, but they just found some random people with barely any tech skills to speak of and brought them in. There's got to be some kind of union strike or something because we can't keep letting them get away with this.

[enigmalea]

Why I Contributed to FujoGuide

If you follow me here or mastodon you may have noticed that I've been reblogging/boosting a lot of posts for something called The Fujoshi Guide to Web Development (@fujowebdev). There's a good chance you followed me or know me from the Dragon Age fandom where I run communities, events, and zines and write fanfic, and you might be wondering why the sudden and drastic departure from my normal content. Why would a writer contribute to something related to webdev? Why have you stopped seeing thirst for Dragon Age characters and started seeing… whatever a FujoGuide is?

The answers to those questions (and more!) are below the cut.

My Coding Journey

I wrote my first lines of code in 1996 (yes, I'm old AF). It was the early days of the internet and tutorials for how to make your own websites were literally everywhere. You couldn't go more than two clicks without finding a how-to written in plain language. But it was painstaking and tedious. CSS didn't exist yet (literally, I started coding about six months before it was released) and even when it appeared it wasn't widely adopted or supported.

It was the "glory days" of Geocities, Myspace themes, Neopets, and Livejournal. If there was a cool site, you could use HTML and/or CSS to customize it. I honed my skills by coding so many tables character profiles for RPs, creating themes, painstakingly laying out user info pages, and building my own site.

Gradually, things changed. Web 2.0 showed up with locked down profiles and feeds you couldn't customize, free website hosts became more difficult to find, and point and click page builders became the way of the web. Shortly after, I took a long break from fandom; frustrated and disappointed with site closures, lost communities, and general fandom wank… it felt like it just wasn't worth it anymore.

I eventually came back, and when I did it meant customizing themes, figuring out how to create tools for my communities, coding tumblr pages (and learning they're not really supported on mobile), and looking at automations for my common tasks. One day, I woke up and thought, "I'm going to make a Discord bot… it can't be that hard."

So, I did it.

An Unexpected Friendship

About a month after I launched my bot to the public, I received a random Discord message from @essential-randomness. A friend had told her about my bot, and she was working on BobaBoard which needed volunteers. I was shocked. First, people were talking about my bot. Second, I wasn't a real coder. I didn't know anything! I just googled a bunch of stuff and got something working. I had no idea what I was doing.

She assured me it was okay. She was willing to teach me what I didn't know - and most of all, that she wanted my help. I took a day or two to think it over, and fatefully filled out the volunteer form. I didn't know if I could be useful or how I could be useful, but I wanted to try.

Programming Is Awful

In the years months that followed, I spent a lot of time in @essential-randomness' DMs complaining about programming… at least once I realized she wouldn't judge me. I was still very much doing things the hard way, taking hours to update a site to add a single link on all the pages. I knew there were easier methods, but I either couldn't find them or once I found them, they were filled with dense jargon which was terrifying.

"An all-in-one zero-javascript frontend architecture framework!" Is that even English? "A headless open-source CMS." Cool. Sounds good. "A full-stack SSG based on Jamstack extending React and integrating Rust-based JS." Those sure are words. With meanings. That someone knows. Not me, though.

I spent so much time looking at what sites claimed was documentation and losing my mind because I had no idea where to even start most of the time. With @essential-randomness' encouragement, I kept at it, experimenting with new things, and jumping in headfirst even when I had no idea what I was doing. And I was so glad. Where I used to struggle keeping one website updated, last year I managed to deploy and update 7 websites. Yeah, you read that right. It was amazing.

The new stuff made it all much, much easier.

An Idea Is Born

Meanwhile, we spent hours discussing why it was difficult to get fandom to try coding. Part of the barrier was the belief you must be some sort of genius or know math or that creative/humanities people can't do it. It is also partially coding communities being unfriendly to newbies and hobbyists; a culture which often thrives on debasing people's choices, deriding them for not understanding, and shouting rtfm (read the fucking manual) and lmgtfy (let me google that for you)- all of which are unhelpful at best and humiliating and abusive at worst. The tech dudebro culture can be unforgiving and mean.

The number of coding-based Discords I've left far outnumbers the ones I've stayed in.

We determined what fandom needed was a place for coders of all skill levels to come together to help and support one another; where they could learn to code and how to join open-source projects they love, and where they could make friends and connections and show off their projects whether they were new or experienced programmers.

And thus… Fandom Coders was born.

What About FujoGuide?

Of course, running a coding group and working on BobaBoard together means we spent a lot of time talking about the state of the web. We both lamented over poor documentation, jargon-rich tutorials, and guides which assume a baseline of knowledge most people don't have. What we needed to do was provide tutorials which start at the beginning… from the ground up (what is a terminal and how do I open it?) without skipping steps. What we needed to do was make those tutorials fun and appealing.

I don't remember exactly the journey it took to get us here if I'm honest. I have no clue who said it first. But I do remember I first started thinking about anthropomorphizing programming languages when we attempted to cast the languages as the Ouran High School boys… and again when I suggested we do a [TOP SECRET IN CASE WE DO IT] group project in Fandom Coders to help people learn about programming.

What I do know is that as last year ended, @essential-randomness became laser-focused on creating our gijinka and moving forward with FujoGuide… and I couldn't say no.

Okay, But… Why Contribute?

To be honest, it's not just that I was around for the birth of the idea. It's ALL of the things in this post - the culmination of three years of frustration trying to figure out what I'm doing with coding, of wading through dense documentation, of wanting to give up before I even start. It's three years of dipping my toes into toxic techbro culture before running away. All added to decades of watching the web become corporate-sanitized, frustratingly difficult to customize, increasingly less fun, and overtly hostile to fans who dare enjoy sexual content.

To sum all of this up, it's the firm belief that we desperately need a resource like this. Something that's for us, by us. Something that builds fans up, instead of tears them down; that empowers them to create for themselves and their communities what no one is creating for them. It is a project I'm deeply passionate about.

And I can't wait until we can bring it to life for you all.