#i was super upset for most the day bc of a friend being a dick to me

[kitkatstu-dies]

Productivity for Yesterday (6/100)

Took part 1 and part 2 of my med term exam & got 100 on both :)

Studied Micro (~1 hour) & finished assignments

Read The Death of Ivan Ilyich

[kaiserio]

❄︎ bllk drabbles - cuddle time!

ft. shidou & nagi

Some lil drabbles about cuddles with these guys 🩵

cw: shidou (a cw in itself), shidou’s is sexual, minors please dni with this post!

not proofread, sryyy!

❄︎ Shidou - oh man, most of the time - even a sweet cuddle with this crazy fella turns into one hell of a ride. I mean that literally and figuratively.

He always has the best intentions, of course he does. We all know how Shidou worships those he loves.

In the morning, you always wake up to him already being wide awake. Has he even slept?

He has you pulled flush against his naked body, face buried into your neck leaving sloppy open-mouthed kisses on your skin. And - of course - there it is, his dick is rock solid and he’s grinding against your ass.

“How ‘bout it, Angel? You want it, hm?” He growls into your ear and nipping at your lobe.

To Shidou, there’s no better way to start the day than a round (or three) of being buried inside his better half.

Shidou isn’t ALWAYS sexual. One thing his relationship with you has taught him, is to read the room - even just ever so slightly.

He knows your mannerisms like the back of his hand. The way your brow furrows ever so slightly when you’re upset, or how you chew your inner cheek when you’re anxious, or the way you shut down when you’re overstimulated. As soon as he notices any of these reactions from you, his first instinct is to protect.

If you’re in public, he will pull you into him and wrap his arms around you in a bone crushing hug.

“I just love you SOOOO much. If you don’t hug me I’ll die or some shit, Angel, I swear.” He’s loud, he’s annoying, he’s clingy, but he does the best job of distracting you from any negative emotions that you’re feeling. It’s a secret super power of his that he should be proud of!

If you’re in private? Good luck! He’s smothering you. If you’re sitting or laying down, he’s on top of you. If you’re standing up, he has his arms wrapped around your shoulders and he’s trying to wrap his legs around your waist. Does he even realise how much bigger he is? Most of the time, these events always end with you both in a heap on the floor, him cackling feverishly whilst you admonish him for being an idiot.

But hey, Shidou is Shidou, you signed up for this! 🫵

❄︎ Nagi - When I tell you this lazy boy was made for cuddles. Just look at how soft he is.

In your relationship, you’re the early riser. Despite being awake first, Nagi doesn’t want to let you go in the mornings. He’ll wrap an arm lazily over your waist and rest his head on your chest (bonus points if you stroke his hair for him, like he’s just a big floofy cat).

No matter what the occasion is, how busy you are, whatever mood you’re in, Nagi is ALWAYS down for some cuddle time. Out with friends? Every half hour he’ll suggest going home to cuddle on the sofa. Got guests over at your place? He’s texting you asking when do you think they’ll leave bc he wants to go lay in bed with you.

He is your own personal koala bear. Always soft and always willing to do what you want to do (as long as it involves some form of horizontal time).

In the winter; he’s your heater. He’s always so warm, you just don’t get it. On particularly cold nights he will wrap you both up in a blanket like a little double burrito and his warmth takes all your problems away (you always fall asleep like this, and he’ll never tell you but he loves it.)

All in all, this cutie pie is just a little cuddle bug. We 🩵 him over here.

[gvftea]

"Danny isn't 100% straight and if you disagree with me you're wrong. Just look at him for 5 minutes. That's a Bisexual man."

“We should NEVER assume, but I've been a fan for many years now and always have this secret thought that they really are Greta Van Queer Lmao I could be very wrong but yeah LOL”

you see everyone, this is a response i could actually consider super decent. all these shit ass speculations are silly (in a good, human way) to have. its normal. we make assumptions. we have a humor. we wonder. its okay to share them and laugh a little about them with your friends. BUT WHEN SOME OF YOU LITERALLY ARE LITERALLY BLOWN INTO SHARING THEM IN THE MOST CRINGIEST MANNERS ON HERE, it ruins it for everybody. sharing all of yalls personal romantic relationship/sexually related speculations about them (NOT saying “omgg hes so bisexual coded”) such as having the monthly omg did theu break up omg hes dating someone esle talk, OR EVEN SHAMELESSLY (idc if youre annonymous) TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEIR K!NKS MIGHT BE… THAS FCKING INSANE. SHAME 👏🏻LESS 👏🏻 if i would be a celebrity and went on a page where people talk about me, i would love some positivity, more “appreciation” talks, NOT IN A SELFISH MANNER, but seeing fans being real good fans. obviously there IS going to be hate, but the fact that i would be overly sexualized every single day by people of all friggin ages and got nothing better to do than rot in their bed and send a “do you think josh would tattoo/pierce his dick” or “do you guys think danny is a trump supporter”. TRUST ME, im not always happy when i find out more than i need to about a celebrity, bc it mihht ruin my view about them, but i am ENJOYING their work and what they put out there if i fw it. genuinely. these guys just wanna make music and live their lives and be happy. even if “allthingsgvf” and all these accs respect their privacy, even of they post pics of them with their consent, its still upsetting to be posted everywhere just so people could get more of you. IM NOT TALKING ABOUT FULL PICS OF THEM, im talking them beinf in the LITERAL FUCKING BACKGROUNF OF SOMEONES TIKTOK. ITS SADDENNING. GET A LIFE. RESPECT THEIR LIVES. stop beinf embarassing, keep some things to yourself and your close friends because ITS NORMAL, BUT BE A GOOD HUMAN AND MAKE EVERYONE FEEL COMFORTABLE. spread positivity. PEACE.

[starbuckie]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

pairing(s): college!peter parker x reader, dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!sam wilson x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader

words: 8.1k words

warnings: DARK!FIC, SMUT 18+ (unprotected sex, foursome turned fivesome, gangbang, non-con/dub-con, daddy kink, oral M and F-receiving, spit kink, degredation kink, praise kink, creampie), age-gap (reader is in her early 20s), cheating, angst, there’s like zero fluff

summary: peter should’ve made it back to the tower for date night on time, or maybe just before he found his girlfriend being fucked by three other superheroes.

a/n: eee my first dark fic! im so so happy with the way this turned out, and even though it was a pain in my ass for nearly three months, im so hapy to share it with y’all. this idea was brought up by an anon from @mypoisonedvine’s saturday sleepover a few months back, but i switched up tony and sam bc i didn’t like the tony and peter stuff. hopefully my smut has improved from the first time i wrote it in january, and just a reminder that in no way, shape, or form do i condone rape of any kind. there’s a large difference from the page and the real world. i try to put all tw’s in the tags and warnings, but if there was something i missed please tell me. thank you to my lovely bestie @mermaidxatxheart for beta-reading(i have no fucking clue what i’d do without your help). feel free to leave a comment or two and reblog, but don’t repost anywhere or i will hunt down your ass. thank you again and please please enjoy <3

main masterlist || mcu masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck Y/N as soon as he saw her.

It started with a faint mention, something Tony had thrown around along the lines of, “Parker’s bringing his girl down here tomorrow, don’t be an asshole”. He didn’t give a damn what Tony said or how he acted around Peter’s girl. Years of being thrown between gruesome mind-wiping and being half-dead, asleep in a freezer would do that to a man.

So the next day when Peter brought his girlfriend in, he was scratching his ass like a fucking ape and downing a beer with a messy bun at the nape of his neck, until he actually saw her. Neat hair, even neater laces with a sweet smile but a body that could kill. Didn’t matter that she was bundled under Parker’s hoodie and a pair of jeans- he could always admire a pretty dame, but Bucky could see that she was beyond that. It was as if God had intentionally made the one being, the one ethereal creature beautiful and angelic enough to be a sin away from him, so that he couldn’t touch her. Because she was young, and in her twenties, and that shouldn’t have even been the first two things that popped up in his mind because she was also Peter’s girlfriend.

But then she had the audacity to stick her hand out, a shy grin and twinkle in her eyes as she gave her name. It sounded so pretty rolling off of her tongue, and he wondered what it would sound like while he groaned it into her cunt.

Y/N. 

So, yeah, maybe Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck her as soon as he met her, but it was pretty damn close after.

-

Steve Rogers was one of very few men who said they had the pleasure of banging nearly every woman on the north side of Manhattan. Bucky indulged in the fact that the man who had once been too shy to do so much as meet a gal’s gaze was now “a dollar whore”, but he was more than happy to keep that title if it meant he could continue to get off in the nearest woman’s mouth everyday. 

Every time he walked down the streets of New York with just a simple ball cap and jeans, he could feel stares on his back from what seemed like miles away, girls on every street corner just waiting for him to take her into the nearest public bathroom and fuck them dirty. CEOs, baristas, girls fresh out of getting master’s degrees with stars in their eyes and big dreams, until he shattered them by making them gag on his cock and scream his name into bedsheets. Or tile floors. He didn’t care as long as they were screaming. The girls of this century were just too delectable to turn down. He didn’t discriminate. His dick had been in women of every height, stature, hair color, and he had quite the variety throwing themselves at him as well.

And then Tony ruined it all and sat him down with a simple explanation that the image of Captain America was being tainted with disturbing stories of girls being fucked in the ass and thrown on their knees in dirty bathroom stalls. The blond was beyond pissed when the billionaire told him to stop dicking around, but he couldn’t do anything else if he wanted to keep his title and job. In a new century, even if he’d had a few years to adjust, he was still absolutely oblivious when it came to anything outside of aliens and sex. There was nothing left for him outside of being an Avenger, so reluctantly he agreed to keep his number of conquests to a minimum, and most definitely inside of the tower rather than out on the street.

However, inside of the tower seemed to be no problem at all when Peter brought his girlfriend over, all smiles and straight A’s, and that’s when Steve realized that he’d yet to fuck a bright, little college student. He could see himself stripping her from the innocence in her eyes, loosening up her pussy with his thick cock against the wall in his room.

Surely Tony couldn’t reprimand him for spending a little time trying to bond with Peter’s new girl, right?

-

Sam Wilson was a simple man. He had a job, a well-paid one at that, somewhere to live, a girlfriend, or a woman to keep him company, that’s for sure- but for once in his life he was seeking out something other than missions, something that would keep him busy when he was feeling bored, something like-

Pleasure, and he knew that he’d finally found what he was looking for the moment Peter brought his girlfriend through the elevator doors on the fifty-sixth level of the Avengers tower. She’d shaken his hand so daintily and spoke so politely that if he were to see her without any backstory, he’d think she was another innocent, dim-witted college student, breaking her bank account every Saturday morning and naively believing that her relationship would last longer than a few months. But by the things Parker had told him, she was much more than that.

Was it shitty of Peter to tell his teammates, the people he worked with, how Y/N was in bed? By the majority’s vote, probably, and by Sam’s strict conduct of his own morals, definitely, but when Peter’s girl looked like that and he was so incredibly bored with his routine? 

Well, fuck, Sam had never been happier that the Spider-kid had told everyone how his girl gave head.

Peter brought his girlfriend in daily after that, and every one of her visits, she grew less shy and more friendly, and the Falcon saw each of his friends gape at her growing comfortability with a wolfish demeanor. It started with the water incident with Steve in the kitchen, where he so clearly spilled water on her already thin, white camisole with intention. Sam couldn’t say he was upset though, after all Steve had offered him and the rest of the Avengers quite a show when he tried to clean up her shirt, taking his sweet, sweet time to fondle her tits as subtly as he could, his eyes staring at her pebbled nipples poking through the material. He could see Bucky hiding his boner under his cereal bowl on the couch that day. 

Then of course, he’d been no better than America’s sweetheart himself when he greeted Y/N with a hug that in hindsight, was a little too enthusiastic. His large hands squeezed into the pockets of her back pocket, and if the college student found anything weird with it, she didn’t say so, but Sam graciously palmed the round globes of her ass in his hands, feeling the muscle clench under his fingers. Oh, how he’d never hugged someone that tight ever before in his life. Maybe he would’ve gotten a bit further than squeezing her ass had it not been for his own girlfriend standing behind him, ready to introduce herself to Y/N.

Bucky, well, Sam could admit that Bucky had the most guts out of all of them. Though the super-soldier was normally well-reserved and polite, the dark glint in his eyes the day he met Y/N let him in on the secret that he had a much dirtier mind than most thought. It had been movie night that time, and he barely even tried to cover up how much he wanted the girl, his hands resting all over her as they watched Inception. Hardly a movie to get so riled up over, yet Bucky’s hand still inched its way up her thigh, his rough fingers gently carressing the flesh until they started to lightly trace the apex of her thighs. 

If she noticed anything then, she didn’t comment on it, doe-like eyes just marvelling at the screen in great intrigue. It was only when Peter’s arms wrapped around her a bit tighter did she scooch away from Bucky’s touch, with a small apology and shy grin. 

That only made his dick harder.

On the other side of Bucky, his super-soldier counterpart tapped his knee gently, forcing their blue eyes to meet each other. No words had to be said between the two, three men when they looked over to Sam, because they all recognized that look they saw in each other's eyes; predatory, dark, nearly voracious in the way they all wanted to be balls deep inside of Y/N.

And they would get there. No matter how long it took, they knew that the ultimate prize of tearing their prey apart would be more than worth the wait.

-

“Hey, babe, I’m gonna be a little late. Ned and I got stuck back in the lab, so we’re gonna need to stay until eight or nine. Can you make it to the tower by yourself alright?”

Peter’s concerned voice made Y/N smile gently as she trudged along the rainy streets of New York. He always loved to worry about her, especially when it was dark and gloomy out, but she could handle herself pretty okay. By pretty okay, of course meant she could kick ass like no other twenty-something year-old, but she wasn’t one to brag. Y/N readjusted the Kate Spade purse on her shoulder with her right hand, attempting to keep her umbrella over her head with the other. “I’ll be fine, Pete, just go finish up and get back to me. I’m gonna be waiting in your room at the tower before you go off on that mission this weekend.”

A small sigh came through the speaker, “Okay, I’ll try to get back to you soon. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Pete.” 

“Oh,” she could hear the shy but no less mischievous smile that was taking over his face, “I left you a little present on the bed, make sure you open it before I get back.”

Y/N’s face heated at the implication. “Peter Parker, you dirty little-” He ended the call with a laugh, and she huffed out a small chuckle at his childish antics.

The walk to the Avengers tower would have been nice, had it not been for the downfall of rain, making everything mushy, socks being absolutely soaked through her sneakers by the time she arrived. The receptionist at the front desk, Jenny, if Y/N remembered correctly, stared at her a little oddly, probably not expecting to see the young college girl in such a state of disorder, but it didn’t affect her at all. She confidently strutted up to the elevator, pressing in the floor number where all the rooms were located. Y/N scrolled through her Twitter feed on her phone while classic rock blared through the elevator with the constant shuffling of people moving in and out. Seven minutes and thirty-two seconds later she was sprinting down the halls with soggy shoes and damp hair, her cold body screaming for warmth.

Peter’s room was the farthest down the hall, and the room was fairly empty. He rarely stayed at his room in the tower, preferring to stay with his Aunt May or keep Y/N company in Brooklyn. When she entered the room, she saw a plain white shirt and a pair of socks strewn upon the carpeted floor, but what really caught her eye was the red box wrapped in a pink bow on the bed. Deciding it would add more suspense if she opened it later, she quickly hopped in the shower, letting the hot water warm her freezing, rigid muscles under the spray. 

Peter didn’t have all the products she’d usually use before she knew they were going to have sex, so she had to make do with the half-used bar of Irish Spring and his small travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner, promising the fresh, breezy smell of citrus and mint. It was a quick process; two squeezes of shampoo, shaving with the green soap as best as she could without cutting herself, one squeeze of conditioner. A fuzzy towel sat waiting for Y/N on the rack, with the Spiderman symbol as a prank gift from her to her lovely boyfriend, and without a second to let the heat leave her damp skin, she wrapped herself in it, quickly hopping out to the bedroom again.

The lingerie she set out on the bed was a deep set burgundy color, with lace decorating the delicate corset and the trim of the satin panties. The packaging really did not do it justice. Y/N grinned at the new set, one that she knew would happily be torn from her body later. A shiver ran through her as she let the cold air fall over her skin, carefully slipping the lingerie on. It was a damn shame, really; the set was quite nice, and she reminded herself to buy more of the nicely suiting color for their nights together. 

Click.

Y/N’s heart thumped with anticipation as she heard the door open and she took a quick moment to ready herself. Hair in perfect style, legs stretched along the length of the bed to make herself look as seductive as possible, a small smirk thrown on her pouty lips.

But in the darkened room, it wasn’t Peter’s shadow that appeared. Three men, three tall, bulkier men’s shadows appeared at the foot of the bed, and horror washed over her as she realized who they were. “Goddamn, dolly, I’ve imagined what you would’ve looked like under those sweaters, but this is much sweeter than I expected.”

The sinister face of Bucky Barnes came into her view, just a sliver of moonlight lighting up his pale skin. His eyes raked over Y/N’s uncovered skin, and goosebumps appeared as she tried to cover herself up under his predatory gaze.

“W-what are you doing here?” She whispered worriedly. Sam and Steve flanked the bed on either side of her, plastered sickly sweet smiles on their faces, providing her with a false sense of security that made her heart scream in fear. Though she wasn't making any noise, her lungs felt like they were going to give out, her throat closing up like an allergic reaction. 

Her head whipped every which way in robotic movement, her brain seeming to fail her as she scanned the room for an exit. Several moments of shortened breaths, cold air chilling her body, before she came out of her freezing shock to realization.

“Why are you here? Please, get out, just g-get out!”

A calloused hand pushed away Y/N’s left arm that covered her tits, and Steve groaned at the sight of her pebbled nipples. “God, baby, they’re as pretty as I thought they’d be. Been trying to feel them up all week, but you knew that, didn’t you?”

Saturday the week before at lunch when he’d spilled water over chest and tried to clean her up. Sam’s friendly hug that became a bit less friendly when his hands slipped into the back pockets of her jeans. The movie night on Monday when Bucky’s hand caressed her thigh a little too close to her core. All of their touches began to make more sense, and her eyes filled with tears at the realization. 

“Please,” she begged, tears blocking her vision, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Pete, but please just go.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Steve asked. He grasped her chin roughly, his face close enough to hers so that she could feel his fiery breath on her lips. “We’re not leaving, sweetheart. You’re gonna let all three of us play with your pretty little body, and you’re gonna make the prettiest sounds for us, alright?”

Y/N shook her head violently, too afraid to make noise, but also bold enough to make one last attempt at freedom. The hand that held her chin quickly moved to slap her cheek, and she hated the way the sting made heat stir in her lower belly. She tried to shy away from their touch again, but Bucky’s face simply held the same smirk as he trailed his vibranium fingers up and down her leg. 

“Oh, come on, Y/N, don’t act all shy now. Peter has been telling us how good you’ve been to him and don’t think he hasn’t told us about your little childhood crush on little ol’ me. Been wanting to fuck you ever since.” Bucky’s hand quickly left her body, instead moving to palm over the bulge in his pants. “Fuck, sweetheart, got me real hard just thinking ‘bout your pussy swallowing my cock. Bet you’re gonna be a sweet, obedient girl for me, right?”

Fire started to course through Y/N’s veins, and with all the power she tried to dampen it down with, it seemed to push through her body that much more dangerously. She despised the fact that she could feel herself growing wet for the three older men, but God, she had never felt the need to be filled up as badly as she did in that moment.

“You’re a bit of a slut, don’t you think?” Sam mocked. He kneeled on her right, his eyes fixated on her panty-clad pussy, a wet patch already forming on the soft satin. It really didn’t help that three of her teen celebrity crushes were eyeing her nearly naked body like a piece of meat. “I mean, look at you, already growing wet and needy for three cocks. Is that what you want, honey? Parker not treating you good enough?”

She hesitated. Goosebumps rose across her skin at the sinister tone of his voice, like he already knew it was true. And it was true and she hated that Sam was right, but as amazing as Peter was a boyfriend, it was clear from the vibrator hiding in his apartment’s bathroom that he was not amazing in the sheets. Every time, she held hope that it would be better, that she would finally get to stop faking an orgasm before he rolled out of the bed with a filled up condom, but she knew deep down inside of her that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. Y/N forced herself to nod weakly at Sam’s questions, and Bucky chuckled. “Oh, you poor dolly, we’re gonna have so much fun with you. Treat you better than that little boy ever could.”

All it took was a whimper, a nearly audible, deadly silent whimper that managed to squeak its way past Y/N’s throat, and the three men took it as permission to ravage her body however they pleased.

Steve made quick work of his pants as Sam lifted her chin to kiss him, his tongue hot and heavy against her mouth, coaxing her lips open. The sound of belt buckles hitting the floor shamefully turned on Y/N even more. Panic coursed through her senses, her mind wanting to scream for them to stop, but her body knew her too well as she felt a wave of slick run down her thighs. Cold metal digits slipped under the waistband of her panties, moving to her wet folds, and she whimpered into Sam’s mouth at the touch. 

“You look so nice, baby, so pretty all laid out for us like this.” Bucky’s hands pulled down her panties as Steve pinched her peaked nipple through the lace, laying lavish, open-mouthed kisses down her torso. The cool air hit her pussy when Bucky’s hands pulled her legs wide open, fully exposed to the three men ready to use her against her will. “Knew you’d be so wet for us, sweetheart, just look at you. Dripping all for your daddies,” Steve murmured against her skin.

Hot breath fanned over her cunt before they rolled her over on her stomach, someone’s hands forcing her up onto her knees with her face smashed into the cotton pillows. She could feel two rough human hands pulling her ass cheeks apart, spreading her ever wider for their view. “Would you look at that, boys, look how fucking hot she is for us.”

Sam’s thick finger ran through her folds, the calloused pad of his finger just teasing her clit before landing a harsh smack to the inside of her thigh. Her moan was muffled through the mattress and she prayed they wouldn’t hear how being treated like whore made her wet like nothing else. 

Hot slick dripped down her thighs, a pool of it staining the pristine sheets by each knee. It was quite a sight, Steve, kneeled by the bed as his face hovered next to her ear, whispering filthy things into her ear as Bucky stroked his hard, leaking cock right next to him. Sam’s lips were making their way up the inside of her right thigh, cracked skin gliding across her sticky flesh. “Oh, baby,” he purred, “you smell so good. Bet you taste even better, don’t you, little girl?”

His tongue reached the apex of her thighs, finally licking a stipe up her center with no warning. Y/N sobbed into the comforter below her, mascara stained tears marking up her face. Two fingers edged their way between the bed and her face, forcing her head upwards and arching her back. Steve’s face was caught in a dirty smirk above hers, lip pulled taut between his teeth, until he saw the tears trailing down her face. “Oh, sweetheart, you look so desperate like this.” His fingers traced her smeared lip gloss around her lips, before opening her lips harshly. “Open up, you dumb baby.”

Y/N forced her jaw open wider, just enough to watch a string of Steve’s saliva drip into her mouth. The thick spit pooled on her tongue and she tried hard not to grimace in front of him, in hopes that he wouldn’t make her- 

“Swallow it, sweetheart.” He saw the hesitation in her eyes, how her lower lip trembled at his words, but he just laughed at her. “Now.”

The warm saliva slid down her tongue and more black tears ran down her face as she obliged his orders, finally gulping it and cringing at the taste. Steve loved the way her face screwed up in displeasure, how she still had the audacity to pretend she hated what they were doing though she was moaning and whimpering with Sam’s tongue attacking her entrance.

“What do you want, sweetheart? We might give it to you as long as you use your words.” Bucky taunted lightly.

Y/N stared up at the brunette, staring menacingly down at her with his cock in hand. “Please,” she whimpered.

The three found it woeful, the way she could barely get a full sentence out as Sam went to town with his skilled tongue, but even with that onslaught, a simple please wasn’t enough for them.

“Please what, honey,” Sam moaned from between her legs, “you gotta use your big words or we’ll never know what you want from us.”

Steve and Bucky nodded in fake-agreement even though they all knew exactly what she wanted and where. 

“I don’t-” her widened eyes glanced into Steve’s, blown-out and teary. “I don’t want anything, not from you.” She lied through her teeth harshly.

Sam removed his head from between her thighs and Y/N immediately whined at the loss of contact almost hilariously. “You don’t want anything, little girl?” 

The air felt static, every hair on her neck rising in the pressured silence. The angel and the devil clawed at her heart, each trying to show her what was right. And she wanted to sin, God knew that she would love nothing more than to let that little greedy part of her take over, but she’d already cheated on Peter and that damn good part of her conscience stole the wheels of her brain.

Slowly and shamefully, she shook her head, though the downright dirty monster inside of her wanted the men to ignore her words and keep assaulting her body. 

“That’s a shame, baby, I thought we were having fun.” Sam sighed. He met Bucky’s gaze on the side, and though they seemed to be in resignation with her wishes, their eyes twinkled devilishly. He positioned his body over Y/N’s kneeled over form, his bare chest glued to her sweating back as his hands ran up the sides of her ribcage and to her front, just barely grazing over her sensitive nipples. “You mean, you don’t want me to touch you here?”

He pinched the darkened buds and she had to use every ounce of self-restraint to not collapse at the sensation. His calloused hands moved back even further, tracing down to the stretch of skin just above her mound, swiping a finger across the skin delicately. “How about here? Or even,” he brought three fingers around her body, over her ass, and into her glistening cunt again, just rubbing along her entrance, not daring to go further in. Y/N couldn’t hold in her reaction to his prodding anymore, his teasing chipping away all of her dignity and pride in a few simple touches. 

“Yes, please, please, use your fingers,” she blurted against her will. Where shame should have washed over her, there was only lust, raging red and coursing through her body so forcefully that she felt braindead. “Put your fingers in me, daddy, please.”

The pet name rolled off of her tongue so easily and she was barely ashamed of how it made her feel. The name especially shocked the three men, who smiled even wider with their cocks harder than before at the little slip up. “That was all you had to say, dolly, gonna have your daddies make you feel real good,” Bucky laughed.

Sam finally plunged his thick fingers knuckle-deep into her cunt as Steve’s mouth captured hers, effectively swallowing her scream with ferocity. The long digits scissored and swirled inside of her, pressing against new unexplored areas that she’d never even gotten to with her own fingers. White dots danced along the front line of her vision as teeth clashed against hers and though it’d been mere minutes she already knew she was close and the men did as well.

“I can feel you clamping around my fingers, honey,” Sam taunted. His lips were moving sinfully around her ass, planting sloppy kisses and drooling all over her skin while he fingered her deep. “Are you gonna come soon, baby?”

“Yes, daddy, I’m so- fuck,” Y/N panted into Steve’s mouth, “m’ so c-close.” The blond bit her tongue hard enough for her to taste blood and she yelped as she heard Sam and Bucky laugh. 

“Watch your language, dolly,” Bucky sneered from the side of the bed. His hand was rapidly moving around his cock, corkscrew motions edging him towards the brink of pleasure. 

“Little girls like you don’t get to use big swear words,” Sam’s face was still buried between her legs, his soaked fingers pulling out of her cunt only to rub at her little pearl of nerves in circles. His tongue still lapped at her dripping entrance and he could feel her tight hole start to pulse as her breathing picked up. “Oh, baby, you’re getting close, aren’t you?”

Y/N was hesitant to answer at first, the sweat on her body seeming to cool immediately in fear of what would happen if she messed up. But after five seconds Steve stopped kissing her, gripping her chin and staring into her eyes deeply. He looked as debauched as she felt, with his rosy lips swollen with spit and cheeks tinged with pink. “Are you gonna answer daddy, sweetheart?”

That knocked her into shape real fast.

“Yes, daddy, I’m so close. P-please let me come,” she whimpered. The whine in her voice pleased the two men, and Steve went back to exploring her mouth before she felt something poking against her asshole.

“Gonna let daddy put his cock in you, little girl?” Sam asked gently. His words had panic coursing through her system, a chilling realization like water being poured on her head and she began to wiggle around, trying to free Sam’s hand from her hip. Her arms weakly pushed at Steve’s chest, trying to push him as far away as he could, but the men only laughed at her flailing limbs. Y/N wanted to scream no to them, and despite her contrasting love-hate relationship with Sam’s fingers inside her cunt she knew it was time to go. It was laughable how much she would continue to say that to herself for the rest of the night. 

But Sam managed to sense her panic, knowing exactly what the issue was before harshly spanking her and effectively stopping her struggle. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t come inside of you. I’m not risking knocking up a whore with my kids, I’ve got more dignity than that.”

He led the leaking tip of his dick down her crack, rubbing it along her slick entrance before pushing in with a groan. “Oh my fucking God, that is so hot.” Bucky admonished from the side. “Gotta get in on that soon.”

Steve chuckled against Y/N’s lips, pulling away with a strand of saliva connecting them. He adjusted himself up so his dick was centimeters from her face, a knee propped up on the bed for balance. “Gotta wait your turn, Buck, we all want a piece of her.” He noticed the way Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his cock, the red mushroom head smeared with precome along the slit, nearly purplish veins standing out prominently on his shaft. Yeah, he couldn’t even deny that he was big because he already knew how many girls had dropped down on their knees for him. “Go ahead, sweetheart, open up those pretty lips for me.”

Almost too excitedly, she dropped her jaw, allowing him to slide his cock into the silky warmth of her mouth. As his hips started to thrust into her mouth, Sam’s started to do the same into her cunt. Both men moaned in tandem with their movements as Y/N’s worries faded away to the back of her mind as they stuffed her to the brim.

“You can come now, baby,” Sam nearly ordered, “go and cream on daddy’s cock- fuck, I know you’ve been waiting.”

It was a harsh bump of his head against her G-spot that sent her over the edge, walls clamping down with ferocity and milking him for all she was worth. Y/N reeled in the sunlight infested warmth that coursed through her body as she finally let go, whining around Steve’s dick as he continued to abuse her throat with long, deep thrusts. 

Bucky was still holding his orgasm off, fondling with his tight, heavy sac while his dick remained a painfully hard mess, glistening with precome. “I’m so glad I got to see you come, dolly, look so fucking pretty when you do.”

She couldn’t deny the little skip of her heart at the praise, just a few simple words that made her feel like a good little girl. But no, God-fucking no, she wasn’t supposed to let them make her feel this way. Guilt washed away that warmth in her chest just as quickly, knowing that her boyfriend was just waiting to come back to see her, finishing up his studies so that they could live their lives out together after college while she was getting her pussy and mouth absolutely wrecked by his co-workers. 

As soon as Y/N got her brain thinking straight again, Sam started moving inside of her again and she garbled out a strangled cry. “If you thought we were done here, baby,” Sam laughed, “you’ve got a lot left ahead of you.”

“We’re not leaving until all of us have come, brat.” Steve’s palm gripped the back of her skull roughly, pushing her head so far down on his dick that her nose was squished against his abdomen. “Greedy little bitch.”

Both men started to thrust into her again, and just like that she was back to being absolutely lost in desire and lust like the bitch in heat she was until there was a sudden shift in the air. So much that the sweat on her body began to cool her skin, Sam’s hands still gripping her hips so tightly she knew they’d leave marks that she would have to hide when she wore her favorite low-cut shorts. 

Bucky’s eyes seemed to drift from her tits moving with each movement of her hips, checking behind the door as if there were something lurking there, but she was too afraid to see for herself. If she stopped she would get spanked, and they’d probably prolong her second orgasm even further, and her pussy couldn’t handle any more subtle teasing.  

“Hey there, Parker, why don’t come on out here?”

But that, that was what made the hairs on Y/N’s neck rose, dread filling her to the fullest as she realized the implications of Sam’s words.

Peter had seen everything. Peter, her boyfriend, had seen three of his co-workers, three men who she barely knew, fuck her deep into his mattress. Peter, her boyfriend, had watched her get fucked into his mattress, without trying to stop them whatsoever.

She couldn’t tell if it was the guilt of cheating on her boyfriend or the freezing realization that he hadn’t done anything to stop the three men that hurt more. 

Yet Peter still walked from behind the door, dressed in a NYU hoodie and a pair of khakis slung low on his hips, just drawing attention to the sizable bulge that stretched out his zipper. His umber eyes, normally full of so much joy and love, were possessed by the same lust and darkness as the three men, as much as he tried to hide it behind a shyer facade. 

His eyes were trained on the tightness of how Y/N’s pussy was gripping Sam, her lips glossed over with come and spit wrapped around Steve’s dick. The girl stopped in her movements, her eyes no longer full of tears for just being gagged, but as soon as her mouth came to a halt around the base of his cock, the blond slapped her across the face. A sharp crack echoed around the room and though she couldn’t see him, she heard Bucky’s feral growl of pleasure at the whorish treatment she was receiving. 

“Didn’t say you could fucking stop, sweetheart, keep working on daddy’s cock.” No more words needed to be said as Steve gripped her hair once more, forcing himself farther back into her throat to the point where she couldn’t breathe. Sam’s thrusts were quickening, closer and closer to release as the sounds of the girl struggling to breath made his balls tighten. 

“Fucking shit, baby, you feel yourself squeezing my dick? I bet you like teasing daddy like that, don’t you?” One of his hands were brought down on her ass in a quick smack that resonated with Bucky, who was staving off his orgasm for something much sweeter than his hand. She was moaning raucously around the dick stuffed in her mouth, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up every nerve in Steve’s body as he came with the tip of his dick nearly being swallowed by Y/N’s throat. There was barely any time for her to fully down the thick come in her mouth before Sam was threatening to orgasm. “I’m gonna come so soon but you better fucking not, little girl, you hear me? Gotta let your daddy come before you, you ungrateful little bitch- oh.”

It was a really fucking close call, Sam’s dick pulling out of her with one quick movement before spilling pearly ropes of come onto Y/N’s spine. A high whine escaped her mouth, clit throbbing as she was so, so close to coming, and she was too far into her crazed pleasure to realize that she was letting three older men, men who fought to defend the universe from evil, use her as an over-glorified fleshlight. 

She couldn’t really blame them for calling her a cockdrunk whore. 

Bucky sauntered over to the bed, eyes trained on the pool of come centered around the base of her spine before flipping her over onto her back with his large hands and shoving three vibranium fingers back into her hole. She gasped and held onto his forearm as he continued to fingerfuck her to her second orgasm, eyes screwed shut in a delirious haze of contentment for being filled with at least something again. 

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, please-” Steve slapped her along the face, correcting her words immediately. “Daddy, daddy, please let me come.”

Bucky chuckled, tweaking one of her nipples with his flesh hand as he hovered over her face. “I don’t know, dolly, you’ve been a little naughty, callin’ me the wrong name, not listening to Stevie’s orders- don’t think you deserve to get what you want.”

A muffled whimper escaped her swollen lips, and he sighed in surrender. “Okay, dollface, go ahead and come on my fingers. Let me see how you wet ‘em up real good.”

Y/N’s hips bucked into his metal digits with finality, come leaking out of her cunt and soaking the sheets below her. Her sweat-glazed skin shone even against the darkening sky, and all Bucky could do was chuckle at how her chest rose quickly as she tried to catch her breath. He thought about teasing her clit again, just circling around the little bud of nerves to get a rise out of her, but he decided against it. Sam probably had better plans for her anyway. 

On the other hand, Y/N’s orgasm was starting to wear off as she noticed the hardened stare from the edge of the room. Her boyfriend.

“Peter, I…” Y/N made eye contact with him, suddenly noticing how mousy he looked in his own bedroom. 

“I nearly forgot you were here, Parker,” Sam smirked darkly. “Why don’t you come over here and fuck your little whore. I’m feeling a little generous today.”

Steve and Bucky nodded with the same infuriating smugness as Sam. The brunette boy opened his mouth to object to the degrading statement, but when he met his girlfriend’s eyes nothing needed to be said. There was no escaping this. Nothing he said mattered to the three older men, because really they had already gotten everything they wanted right in front of their disgusting, perverted eyes. 

He unbuckled his belt, letting the weight of it drop his khakis to the floor. Maybe if he’d known he would be forced into join a fivesome later that night he’d have picked any other boxers but the Ducktales one, but no one seemed to say a word about them, rather focusing on what they were failing to conceal. 

Peter’s cock had always been admirable to Y/N by its length and God, definitely its thickness. Curved upwards towards his abdomen with a vein running along the left side up to the bulbous head, it was definitely more than average. It was really just a shame he didn’t know how to use it well enough.

His shirt was pulled over his head just as quickly, and if Y/N knew any better she would say that he was excited to get to fuck her in front of the three men. He placed himself in between Y/N’s parted legs, standing in the same position as he had so many times before.

But when Y/N cried out in pain and pleasure as he slid into her, Peter knew that this time, it was different. This time three men, men that he used to trust with his life, stood on either side of him and his girlfriend and jerked their hands up and down their cocks as they watched her get fucked relentlessly. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t romantic, but he couldn’t really think when his thick cock was stuffed inside of her stimulated pussy, juices and come leaking out of her abused sex. 

“Go faster, Parker,” Steve instructed, his face contorted in pure pleasure. The pace of Peter’s thrusts sped up, and he threw Y/N’s ankles over his shoulders, hitting deeper inside of her, with the sound of her sobs only turning them all on more. “Oh, right there, shit, shit, shit-”

Steve came first, a low groan escaping his lips as streams of come landed on her tits, still bouncing with every movement of Peter’s hips. 

“Open up,” Sam gritted through his teeth, and Y/N obediently opened her mouth to let his bitter come coat the inside of her throat, some of it landing on her face and neck. The string of curses he let out made Peter thrust even faster into her, and he hated, absolutely despised the way it turned him on to see the three men use his girlfriend to their pleasure. But soon enough a hand pushed against his chest away from Y/N and he reluctantly pulled out.

“Move aside, kid,” Bucky instructed, “Wanna come inside of her.”

As he lined his gigantic cock up with her entrance, her eyes widened with fear. “No, please, I didn’t take my pills, I can’t- I won’t, please not inside-”

“Shut the fuck up, you slut.” Bucky’s fingers came to slap her clit harshly, and she cried out in pain. “You’re gonna be quiet and let me come wherever I damn want, right?”

He punctuated his last word as he thrust inside her, filling her up to the hilt with his girth. She was too drunk on the feeling of her cunt being filled up to argue again. It was painful, extremely so, even though two different cocks had been inside her overstimulated pussy already and Bucky stretched her out wide, his cock thicker with veins to hit every pleasure point. With her legs tossed around his tapered torso, he slid out until his very tip was left in her, then slammed back in with a small moan. The head of his cock relentlessly pounded into her cervix in a nearly soundless tempo and all Y/N could hear were her own gasps of pleasure, jaw-dropping moans that made drool slide back down her throat in her laid down position.

She turned her head to the side, and though her vision was bleary through the tears, she could see Sam and Steve watching Bucky fuck her while Peter, her boyfriend, her sweet, sweet boyfriend, was caught up fucking his hand to the sound of Bucky’s balls slapping against her ass. 

“Fuck, ‘m not gonna last much longer, dollface.” Bucky gasped. “You gonna come soon? You’re gonna come for daddy one more time. I think you’ve got a third one in you, you little fucking slut.”

“Shit, shit, daddy, please ‘m almost there,” Y/N wailed absentmindedly. A thumb came down to circle her clit quickly and she felt the coil in her stomach grow tighter and tighter, until she finally let out a high whine, finding her release as Bucky’s cock pulsed inside of her, ready to come just as easily as her. Her pussy clenched around his cock as she rode out her orgasm, fingers grasping at the sheets in order to find some sort of grounding. His come painted her walls white, and Bucky could’ve sworn there was no better feeling than feeling his blood warm in every vein as he finally let go. With stunted groans, his hips slowed its rhythm, lost in watching how his cock disappear into Y/N’s pussy, her slick juices coating his dick each time he pulled out. 

“Ah, fuck, dolly, you did so good for me. Pussy tight as a fuckin’ vice.” Bucky hugged her limp body close to his sweaty chest, letting his dick soften inside of her for a good few moments before pulling out. He tossed Y/N back onto the bed below him, barely even caring to clean the come dripping down her ribcage and out of her cunt before grabbing his boxers from the cabinet next to the bed. 

Steve was already buttoning his jeans up, checking the notifications on his phone before shoving it back into his pocket. The blond seemed to have better things to do so soon after, rushing his way to the door before pausing where Y/N laid to watch come drip out of her pussy. One more time he pushed Bucky’s come inside of her abused entrance, watching as it oozed out from behind his digits. “Look at you, fucking full of of his come. Such a goddamn whore,” he muttered under his breath.

Those were the last words he said to her before patting Bucky on the shoulder and leading him out of the opened door. 

Maybe Sam was a bit more kind, or affectionate at least. He was already dressed but visibly hard again beneath the thick denim of his pants, and he made sure Y/N knew it, taking her left hand and placing it over his dick. “You still got that effect on me, honey, even when you’re all fucked out like this.” He dragged his fingers through the thick ribbons of come that coated her chest, bringing them up to her mouth so she could taste. Even though she was more than exhausted, she wrapped her tongue around the two fingers that were pushed past her swollen lips, sucking them clean with a tired vengeance. Satisfied with her work, he kissed her chin one more time before leaving without so much as another word, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Click.

It ended exactly the way it started, the lock jostling into the doorknob just as easily as the high of Y/N’s final orgasm slipped away.

Stifling silence suffocated the room around them. Peter refused to meet her eyes, just as much as hers did his. She laid motionless on the bed with him standing at the foot, his dick soft and if she narrowed her bleary eyes just a bit, she could see how his knees were shaking. Neither of them were able to say anything, losing the ability to converse as soon as the three men left the room.

“Peter,” her voice was throaty after the rough fucking she took, “C-can you please get me a drink?”

The brown-haired boy looked down to meet her face, and she could finally see the reason that he had hid it from her. His eyes were red and bloodshot, snot running from his nose with tears running down his cheeks. She’d been so caught up in the after haze of the sex that she didn’t even notice how his bare chest was heaving so deeply, nearing hyperventalation. 

But still, he grabbed his boxers, pulling them over his weakened legs clumsily. “Y-yeah, what kind do you want, Mr. Stark has a ton-”

“I don’t care.” She cut him off firmly, a sharp tone in her voice as she rolled over on her side. Y/N tucked her knees to her chin, fingers running over the side of her neck which was marked with bruises and scratches. “I don’t fucking care.”

Without another word Peter slipped out of the room quietly, knowing better than to try to talk to her about what they had been forced to participate in. It wasn’t as if there was much to say anyways.

Rain pattered against the window. It was only six o’clock in the evening. Cars honked and beeped and Natasha’s Igor Stavinsky record played for its fiftieth round of the day, and to anyone else in the tower it was a normal night. Normal, just like the ones spent sitting on the couch with Bucky’s hand creeping up her leg or Sam’s hands groping her ass, but this time they’d made a move. 

The silence was far too much to handle, the unspoken truth of what she’d done with Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Peter finally hitting her, knocking the air out of her lungs as she suddenly struggled to breathe. Gripping her face, clawing at it like a goddamn wolf, Y/N began to cry. Silently at first, gradually growing into heartbroken sobs, she let her trodden pride carry her voice wherever it wanted to go. 

The men’s whispered words haunted her mere moments after they’d left the room, but most audibly she could hear a faint husk of a voice, Sam’s low moan in her ear looming in the dreadful silence of the room:

Thanks for sharing with us, baby.

[makoodlesarchive]

bad dragon

here i am delivering content that NO ONE ASKED FOR !! this is nasty and i got super embarrassed just writing it but i hope you enjoy it anyway

honestly no one look at me, just let me indulge in this in peace

pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader

word count: 10k

warnings: blowjobs, penetrative sex, virgin kirishima, lots of cum (like, a ridiculous amount), breeding (kinda), size kink?. it’s not exactly anthro bc everyone is human here but uhh non-standard genitals, i guess? kirishima has an unusual dick: pls see here for reference      OR     check out the amazing fanart for kiri’s dick !!

Tip Jar!

  dragon dick kiri masterlist!

                            »»————-　♡　————-««

Kirishima Eijirou was a perfect gentleman. He bought you flowers, he opened doors for you, he gave the sweetest goodnight kisses, he ate you out so good he had you seeing stars. You had the biggest, fattest crush on him, and you would be embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the fact that it seemed, at least for the most part, to be reciprocated.

The problem was Kirishima never let you touch him.

Whenever the two of you ended up in bed together, with the door firmly locked behind you, Kirishima insisted on sliding under the blankets and eating you out so enthusiastically he had your legs shaking in no time. It’s not like you would ever complain about that, but it definitely bothered you that he was never up for doing anything else. You would see the blanket shifting around as he jerked himself off furiously under the sheets as he tongue-fucked you, but whenever you tried to coax him out from beneath the sheets you were turned down with a soft, apologetic little smile.

You figured it must have something to do with his apparent commitment issues. Everytime you brought up the possibility of being a couple, or anything more than what you currently were (which, tragically, was nothing; just two friends occasionally getting hot and heavy) he brushed you off or changed the subject with a beautifully sunny smile and a laugh, so bright and cheery that you were successfully diverted every single time.

And it was fine, really. You liked Kirishima a lot, so you were totally willing to put up with a few odd idiosyncrasies. And okay, sure, if you were being totally honest with yourself, of course you wanted to be more than friends that flirt and kiss and mess around a bit. You couldn’t even technically call each other fuck buddies because he wouldn’t fuck you. But he was so sweet, and so handsome and kind and his tongue was so so good, that you would take whatever you could get from him. 

At least, that was until one afternoon.

April had brought with it blue skies and sun showers and warm breezes, and as the weather begins to improve your friends take to lounging out the front of the apartment complex. After graduating, renting places in the same neighbourhood just seemed like the next logical step. On days like this, where you all come together just to chill out in front of the complex, it seems like the best idea in the world. As you watch Kirishima chase Kaminari around the lawn, the two of them howling with laughter, something a little wistful twists in your stomach. It’s a familiar feeling, easy enough to shove away normally, but today for some reason you just feel… melancholy.

Maybe that’s why you do something you would never normally do. You turn to Bakugou, who’s aggressively chewing on candy as though it insulted his mother, and say, “Hey, um. Does Kirishima… does Kirishima ever talk about me?”

Bakugou’s jaw stills, and he turns his head very slowly to look at you. He looks mildly disbelieving, which is understandable. The two of you get along just fine, but you’ve never asked him anything personal before. “Why the fuck are you asking me that?” he demands through a mouthful of half-chewed toffee.

You shrug jerkily, suddenly mortified. Why are you asking something like that of Bakugou, of all people? “Never mind.” you say quickly, praying that he’ll just let it go and you can both move on and forget that you had ever asked such an embarrassing question.

A silence stretches between the two of you, long and taut, broken only by Mina giggling as she shows Sero something on her phone a few metres away. You could curse yourself for making things awkward between the two of you when you had been on relatively good terms, but then Bakugou turns to look at you so abruptly that you startle a little. “Look,” he says, jaw working absently as he chews his candy. “He likes you just fine, okay. Why aren’t you having this conversation with him, huh?”

You can’t quite meet Bakugou’s eyes. You don’t know how he can be so forthright all the time. “Um. I’ve tried, but he always changes the subject.”

Bakugou swears softly, glaring out across the lawn at Kirishima as he chases Kaminari, throwing grapes at his back. “I ain’t a relationship counsellor, okay? I get that it must be hard that he doesn’t cum when he’s with you or whatever, but you seriously need to work that out with him. What am I meant to do about it?”

“Right,” you wince, your body hot with embarrassment. Your mind sticks on something he just said though, and you turn back slowly to frown at him. “He… he doesn’t cum?”

“Hah?” Bakugou scowls at you, clearly annoyed that you’re still having this conversation. You’re not about to let up though, because you hadn’t known that.

“I-I didn’t realise that he didn’t-?” you trail off, mortified and horrified in equal measures. You had assumed all those times that he was jerking off under the sheets that he was getting himself off but just didn’t want you to see. You had never questioned the lack of mess because as soon as you were done he always left for the bathroom, returning a few minutes later with damp towels to clean you up with -- you had assumed he cleaned himself up in those moments of absence. How the fuck had you never noticed?  Why did Bakugou know when you didn’t? Oh god, had he and Kirishima talked about this?

Bakugou’s expression shifts as he apparently realises that he had just revealed something you hadn’t been aware of. “Oh.” he says, and his annoyance seems to have evaporated, only to be replaced by an intense discomfort. “Well. It’s not that big a deal, or whatever. I’m sure he still, uh, enjoys himself- fucking hell, can we stop talking about this?”

“Yeah.” you say a little numbly. You feel so stupid. Why had he never said anything to you? You had been under the assumption that he liked you back, but maybe you were totally mistaken. Maybe seeing your naked body turned him off to the point that he couldn’t actually cum even if hidden under the sheets and not looking at you. Maybe he never actually wanted to do any of that with you in the first place. There’s a stinging pressure building in the back of your eyes, and you have to look down at your lap and blink hard to stop yourself from doing something stupid like bursting into tears in front of Bakgou -- you don’t think either of you would live that down. “Uh. I think I’m gonna head up to my room, I’m really tired.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened a little, “Wait, are you-”

“I’ll see you later,” you smile and try to keep your voice as normal as possible, but even you can hear how forced you sound. You stand quickly and brush yourself off before heading back inside; you have to consciously slow your pace so that it doesn’t look like you’re running away, because you really don’t put it past Bakugou not to chase you down for cutting him off like that.

You bump into Jirou on the stairs and babble out an apology, escaping back upstairs to your apartment before she can ask you if you’re okay. The last thing you need is an audience for your imminent breakdown, but thankfully you don’t see a single other person on the way to your place. You shut the door to your room tight and lean your forehead against it to take a deep breath. It doesn’t do much to calm you down, so you turn and make a beeline straight for the bed. Throwing yourself dramatically on top of your bed covers feels a little cathartic, so you allow yourself the luxury of being dramatic as you bury your face into your arms and sigh. 

God, you wish Kirishima would have just talked to you instead of grinning that stupidly bright smile of his and changing the subject anytime you tried to talk or ask about the thing the two of you had together. At least then you would have been able to deal with any upset that may have been caused by that conversation by yourself, and you wouldn’t have had to get all upset in front of one of Kirishima’s best friends. God, how were you ever gonna look at Bakugou again?

You know that stewing by yourself like this isn’t going to help sort this situation out, but you just can’t find the energy to start thinking about what you’re going to do next. You don’t want to start thinking about that at all. You just need some time to yourself, just a little while to relax and breathe and just not think because if you start thinking you’re pretty sure you’re going to cry. You feel impossibly stupid.

When you hear a knock coming from the door, you want to bang your head off the wall. You can’t imagine anything worse than having to talk to someone and pretend that everything is fine right now.

“Y/N? Hey, is everything alright? Bakugou said you ran off.”

Aw, shit. Maybe you can imagine something worse.

You sit up sharply, staring at the door. This was so typical. Of all the people in the building, Kirishima is the last person you want to talk to right now. So of course it stands to reason that he would be the one to follow you straight to your apartment. “Everything’s fine,” you call back quickly, trying hard to sound like you meant it, “Hey, I’m just tired right now. Can we talk later?”

“Bakugou said you were upset.”

That traitor. You clench your jaw and scowl at the wall. “I’m-”

“I’m coming in, okay?”

“Wha-?” you stand up quickly, but Kirishima is already coming in and closing the door behind him. “Kirishima, I don’t-”

“Okay look, Bakugou said you were upset with me and I’m really, really sorry,” Kirishima blurts quickly, hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint, “He’s actually pretty annoyed at me right now, but he’s right, and-”

“I’m not-” you start, then pause to gather your thoughts. Bakugou was right, especially when he said you had to talk. And it was important this time that you didn’t let Kirishima divert you like he had been doing. “It’s not that I’m upset with you. Not really. I just- what are we even doing?”

“What do you mean?” he asks, so softly that it’s almost a whisper.

“I-” you swallow hard, brace yourself, “I really like you. I like spending time with you, and I’ve told you, or at least tried to, that I’d really like to, well, be- um, be more than whatever this is. And obviously I would totally get if you don’t want that, a relationship and stuff, but I want you to just tell me! Just say it, instead of changing the subject.”

“Wait, baby, please.” Kirishima steps forward quickly and stops just short of touching you, a bare few inches between you. “I like you so much, I never wanted you to feel this way. I just- it’s difficult to explain-”

“Do you...” you start to say, then sigh. You can’t believe you’re actually going to ask this, because it makes you sound so desperate, but you really need to hear him say it, “Do you not find me attractive?”

Kirishima makes a startled choking sound, “Wha-? Are you kidding? I find you so attractive! You’re so pretty, and your body is- is really nice, why would you think-”

“You never look at me when we’re in bed and-” you start fidgeting, horribly awkward. “I just want to be able to touch you.”

Kirishima steps forward, closing the distance between you and dropping to one knee. “Baby, I’ll do whatever you want,” he says, his hands coming to rest on your hips as his thumbs stroke circles into your skin. “You want me to touch you?”

“No.” you squeeze your eyes shut in frustration, realising that he had misunderstood. “I mean. Bakugou told me that you never cum when we’re together.”

When you open your eyes again, you see that Kirishima has gone stock still. His mouth is a little open, and you can see his throat working as he seems to fight for something to say. Very slowly, he gets back to his feet. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

You stare at him, at a loss. “Is it because-” you start, then trail off as you realise that you don’t even know what you’re trying to ask. You just want him to start talking so that you can stop asking all these stupid questions. “If you don’t want to have sex with me, you only have to say so, I would never pressure you into-”

“No!” Kirishima blurts, jolting forward. The suddenness of the movement seems to startle the both of you, but Kirishima recovers faster. “God, no, that’s not what this is!”

“Then, why?” you whisper, thoroughly confused. You had hoped that talking it out would help get some answers, but if anything you’re even more confused and insecure than you had been before he came to your room. “Did I- I mean, if I’m doing something that’s-”

“It’s not you.” Kirishima interrupts, covering his eyes with one of his large palms and leaning away from you. His hand is trembling a little, almost imperceptibly. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

The statement hangs in the air between the two of you like it’s a tangible presence. You stare hard at Kirishima, but he doesn’t remove his hand from his face. He looks a bit like he’s going to be sick. “What do you mean?” you ask quietly.

You’re guessing that this is where you get the ‘You’re great and all but I’m just not ready for a relationship. It’s got nothing to do with you though, I need to work through my own stuff’ sort of speech, and you have to brace yourself for it. Instead, Kirishima says something that you had not prepared yourself to hear in the slightest.

“I’m sorry.” you say, a little bewildered. You’re certain that you heard that wrong. “Could you- could you say that again?”

A flush has begun to crawl steadily across Kirishima’s face, made all the more prominent by the contrast of his hand pressed to his eyes. His ears are so red that they blend right into his hair. “I said,” he says, then takes an inhale, “That you’ll break up with me if you see my dick.”

You don’t actually know how to begin replying to that. For one, breaking up would require you to be in a relationship, which is something that he has been avoiding for a while now. You decide to address the bigger problem first. “Why would I want to break up because of your dick? Why would you even think that? Do you think I’m that shallow?”

“It’s got nothing to do with you being shallow,” Kirishima says slowly. You get the impression that he’s measuring his words, and his uncharacteristic reticence has you on edge. “It’s just that- I’m not, well, normal.”

You stare at him, a little taken aback. Kirishima had always had some issues with self-confidence, ever since middle school, but you’d always thought he’d worked through that in UA. You had never heard him talk about himself like this. “What’s that supposed to mean? Eijirou, lots of people are self-conscious about what they have going on downstairs. It doesn’t mean-”

“No, you don’t get it,” he interrupts. His hands have started twisting up the hem of his shirt, wringing it out and wrinkling the material. He’s frowning, and clearly starting to get agitated. “It’s not that I’m self-conscious about it- well, I am self-conscious about it, I guess, but it’s for a reason! I mean it, it’s not exactly… standard.”

Your face scrunches up in a frown before you can stop it. Not standard? “You’re worried it’s too small?” You guess. Your gaze drops to the crotch of his pants, where he’s subconsciously folded his hands. “Too big?”

“Um.” Kirishima lets out a nervous little laugh, several octaves higher than normal. “Yeah, I guess. It’s… it looks weird.”

“Eijirou,” your voice is soft now, most of your frustration melted away by the sight of Kirishima’s anxious fidgeting, “We live in a world where physical mutations are the norm; you really don’t have anything to worry about.” You pause for a moment, but Kirishima doesn’t respond immediately. The silence builds, until you try to break it with a light-hearted, “How weird can it be, really?”

Kirishima’s throat works as he swallows hard, but he’s nodding so you at least know that he’s listening. When he does speak, his voice is so low that you have to lean closer to him to catch what he’s saying. “I just don’t want to ruin this.”

Your heart twists, and the last of your frustration straight up disappears. You take a breath to steady yourself, then step forward and place your hands gently on his chest. A tremor works its way up his spine at your touch, but you don’t remark on it. “Kirishima.” you say firmly, and when he looks up and makes eye contact you try to keep your gaze as strict as possible. “You really have no idea how much I like you, do you? God, I like you so much, it’s stupid. I’ve wanted to be with you for so long. I mean, even if you never wanted to have sex I would understand, so long as you talked to me about it. Your dick is not gonna stop me from liking you, idiot.”

The fear of rejection is still plain to see on Kirishima’s face, but there’s something lurking just underneath that looks like hope. “I’ve never… I’ve never been with anyone like that.”

“You haven’t?” you ask, genuinely surprised. Not only is Kirishima perfectly sweet, he’s also extremely attractive. As an up-and-coming sidekick in Fatgum’s hero agency, you knew that he had no shortage of admirers. Even before that, in UA, you knew there were always people who had their eyes on him. He was so bright, he was hard to miss. 

He laughs, scrubbing at his eyes with his knuckles. “Uh, no. I mean, I’m not totally inexperienced. I mean, I’ve done oral and stuff, and I think I’m actually pretty good at it-”

“You are definitely pretty good at it,” you chime in, nodding and trying not to laugh at the flush crawling up his neck.

“I enjoy it, too!” he says quickly, as though trying to reassure you, “I enjoy it a lot. But I’ve never- I mean, no one’s ever touched me like that.” You feel your mouth drop open in honest shock. A little part of you couldn’t help but feel reassured that it wasn’t you he had a problem with, but that was mostly drowned out by surprise. Kirishima rushes on before you can speak, as though trying to say his piece before he runs out of steam, “It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that it’s never seemed worth the fallout. Especially with you. I’m happy with being with you in whatever way I can, and I don’t want my stupid dick to scare you off or-”

“Oh my god, Kirishima, stop,” you say, and this time you really can’t hold back your laugh. “Your stupid dick isn’t going to scare me off. God, I can’t believe this is why you never let me touch you.” you step closer and press a soft, close-mouthed kiss to his lips. You hadn’t realised just how tense Kirishima was until he relaxed a little into your touch, the stiffness in his shoulders easing out as he sighed into the kiss. You pull back just a little, just enough that you can give him a cheeky smile. “Want me to give you your first blowjob?”

Kirishima’s whole body tenses right back up as his eyes shoot wide in surprise. “What?” he squeaks out, his ears turning scarlet.

You take his hand in yours and tangle your fingers together, before tugging him gently towards the bed. “I want to,” you assure him quietly, “No matter what your dick looks like, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kirishima says as he sits at the edge of the bed. He’s breathing a little faster now, either from excitement or nerves. You’re guessing it’s a bit of both, because he’s clinging on tight to your hand even though he looks like he’s about to bolt. When you hook your fingers around the waistband of his shorts, he catches one of your wrists with his free hand. “If you- you know, if you change your mind after seeing it, just know that I won’t be mad or anything.”

He’s so quiet and earnest that you feel your heart melt a little looking at his nervously hopeful eyes. You take your hand back and climb onto his lap, pushing your fingers into his wild mop of hair. It’s the first time you’ve ever been close with him like this -- usually he would give you a sweet, gentle kiss and then dive between your legs, always keeping a frustrating amount of distance between your lower halves. This time though, he doesn’t try to divert you away. His hands grip your hips tight, and he leans his head into your touch. “I wish you would stop expecting me to push you away.” you murmur into the side of his neck, peppering little kisses into his skin. Kirishima lets out the smallest, choked off sounding whine at that, and tilts his head so that the long line of his throat is exposed. You take the hint, and start trailing kisses all along the soft skin at the base of his neck. “I told you, and I meant it; I want to be with you.”

Strong arms wind their way around your back and pull you close until you’re sat right over Kirishima’s crotch. You don’t even think it was intentional on Kirishima’s part, but you won’t pass up the opportunity when it presents itself to you. His shorts are bulging a little right in the centre where he’s starting to get hard, and you lower yourself down so that you’re grinding over him. He gasps at the contact, and his hips jerk up into you. “Oh, shit. I want you, so badly.” he gasps, his forehead dropping down to rest on your shoulder.

You have to admit, what you can feel through his shorts is… intimidating. ‘Yeah, I guess,’ he had said when you asked him if he was worried about his dick being too big. Judging by what you could feel pressing against you, that was a massive understatement, and he was only half-hard. You ghost your hands down over his sides, feeling his ribs expand with his breaths, sliding down until your hands reach the waistband of his shorts again. You push them down over his hips, and he lifts himself up to help you, and then he’s just in his impressively tented jockstrap. You smile reassuringly at him as you tug down the jockstrap, and then his cock springs free of the waistband and you pause.

“Oh.” you breathe.

“I know that it’s-” Kirishima begins to visibly panic, his hand reflexively shooting down to try and cover himself as he tries to sit up.

“It’s okay.” you say quickly, recovering from your surprise as quickly as possible. You still feel a little off-kilter as you slide off his lap to your knees in front of him. You know that you’re staring at his cock wide-eyed, but you can’t quite help yourself. It’s… well. It’s definitely not standard.

You reach out, your hand hovering uncertainly over his cock because you barely know how to begin. It’s thicker than a soda can, and long. Delicate ridges and swirls decorate the underside, with a series of bumps along the top. When you finally do grasp him in your hand, you’re rewarded with a barely stifled gasp and a hot spurt of precum that dribbles down his cockhead to your fingers. You use both your hands to explore his length, fingers trailing over all those strange ridges. The bumps along the top are apparently sensitive, because when you rub your thumbs over them Kirishima gasps and his hips thrust gracelessly into the air.

“Sorry!” he blurts as his cock dribbles even more precum. There’s so much of it that it looks like you actually used lube or something to slick up his cock, but you guess that this must be normal for him because he just looks embarrassed. “I- it’s sensitive, I guess, um- I usually put down a towel, because I tend to get, uh, messy.”

The way he says that and the connotations of it has your thighs squeezing together, and you take a deep inhale through your nose. It’s unexpectedly hot. “Gotcha.” you smile at him, trying to put him at ease as you return your attention back to his dick. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind if you make a mess.”

“Oh, shit. Uh, okay.” Kirishima says, and his breathing has gotten noticeably heavier now. He’s almost panting as he leans back on his elbows, craning his neck so he can get a look at what you’re doing. There’s a curious swell around the base of his cock that just seems to be growing. One of your hands travels down to it curiously, splaying over it and then rubbing it at it experimentally. His hips rock forward sharply, a huff of breath leaving him as he grunts a muted, “Fuck!”

The precum is oozing almost continuously now, spilling over with nearly every stroke, and your rubbing at the swollen base seems to be pushing even more out. It’s obscene, the copious amount of it and the way it’s stringing down onto your hands. If this is the amount of precum he produces, you can hardly imagine the amount of cum he’s going to produce. You wonder if ‘messy’ is another understatement.

You finally lean forward and lick an experimental stripe up the underside of his cock, lapping at the ridges and swirls. The moan that’s ripped out of him is needy and so desperate -- his stomach muscles are tensed with the effort he’s putting in to keep from rocking into your mouth, but his cheeks are flushed and his own mouth is lolling open, his eyes squeezed shut. You take that as your cue to take all of him in your mouth as best as you can, suckling at the tip before swallowing him down. You get about halfway before you have to pull back and try again. Your mouth is stretched obscenely wide around the girth of him, and you swear you can feel the weight of his dick pulsing on your tongue.

“Oh god, oh baby, oh Y/N,” Kirishima is babbling nonsensically, his head thrown as his hips make the sweetest little aborted rocking motions, like he wants nothing more than to let go but is trying his best to restrain himself for your sake. “Feels so good.”

You suck him as best as you can, but your jaw is starting to ache from being hinged so wide. You alternate between stroking his length and suckling on the head of his dick, tracing the swirls and squeezing the bottom. The swell at the base of his cock has engorged even further, and you prod at it curiously with one hand as you work his length with the other. It’s firm but oddly spongey, and everytime you poke at it Kirishima’s whole cock twitches.

When he gasps out your name you pull back and look up at him. He’s trembling, his shirt rucked up past his bellybutton and his gaze fixed unwaveringly on you. “You okay?” you ask softly, rubbing your thumb along one of the ridges under the head of his dick.

“Yeah,” he breathes, reaching down to cup your face. His thumb swipes over your bottom lip, and you realise that a string of saliva and precum is dripping down your chin. “But if you keep going I’m gonna cum.”

“Isn’t that kind of the point?” you laugh, and press a kiss right on his slit. His hips twitch and you dodge backwards just in time to avoid him taking your eye out with his hard on. 

“Sorry!” he looks mortified, and you can’t help but find his nervous fumbling absolutely adorable.

“Don’t worry about it.” you smile as you kiss your way down his shaft, prepared now for the intermittent jerking of his hips. You get to that swollen part at the base and place your mouth right at the bottom of his cock, before wrapping your lips around it to the best of your ability and sucking.

You had guessed that this swollen area was sensitive thanks to his reactions earlier, but you’re not quite prepared for the shout he lets out or the way his hand grabs onto the side of your head as he damn near rides your mouth. You’re totally startled by the reaction, but given the amount of times that you’ve done the same to his mouth you’re only too happy to indulge him. Plus, it’s the first time you’ve ever seen Kirishima fall apart like this. His cock is dribbling precum at a rapid rate the more excited he gets, and thick strings of it are pouring onto your cheeks. You think you should probably feel a little grossed out, but seeing Kirishima open-mouthed and panting as he rides your face like he’s hasn’t got a single other thought in his mind has you so turned on that your panties are getting sticky and uncomfortable between your legs. You stick your own hand between your legs to try and relieve yourself of some of the heat coiling up in your stomach, but the way that Kirishima’s rutting into your face throws off your coordination.

“Oh god, please, baby, please, put it back in your mouth, I’m gonna- fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna cum, please-” He begs, his head thrown back as he gasps.

How could you ever deny him when he pleads like that? You pull your head out of his grasp and sink your mouth back down on his cock, and then you just hold there and breathe as steadily as you can as Kirishima’s cock throbs in your mouth. His hips spasm, pushing his cock further into your throat. It almost feels like he’s getting bigger, as if he’s growing down your throat.

Kirishima is still babbling, a steady stream of senselessness about how good you’re making him feel, how beautiful you are, how lucky he is, until he cuts himself off with a gasp of “Baby, I’m- I’m-” and then he’s silent, his mouth hanging open as his whole body strains.

You try to suck him through his orgasm, but you are utterly unprepared for the sheer quantity of cum that erupts from his dick. Despite your intentions, you have no choice but to pull off his cock, choking a little on the cum that actually managed to get up your nose. You stroke him through it, feeling dazed as you watch him cum. You know it’s dripping from your chin, running in rivulets down your face. You wonder if it’s coming out your nose.

Kirishima seems to come forever, humping into your fist and whining and moaning the whole time. When his cock finally gives its last, exhausted spurt, his body falls limp against the bed. He’s gasping for breath and staring at the ceiling, looking like his soul had been ejected from his body along with the insane amount of cum. You notice the swollen part at the base of his cock has deflated almost entirely, to the point that it’s hardly noticeable anymore.

You climb up on the bed beside him and nudge him with your knee, a little concerned. “Eijirou? You good?”

When he looks at you, there’s a goofy smile splitting his face. “I have never been so good in my whole life.” His smile freezes as he catches a proper look at your face, caught between surprise, embarrassment, and something else. He reaches out to your face and swipes his fingers through the mess on your face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be!” you hasten to assure him, squeezing his wrists. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Kirishima stares at you as though he almost doesn’t believe you, but his cum is painted across your face and dripping down your chest, so he’s not in the best position to argue. “I told you I tend to get messy.” he breathes out a laugh, and then leans forward to kiss you, apparently not caring about the taste of his own ejaculate.

You hum into his mouth, your thighs clenching in excitement. “Eijirou,” you whisper into the kiss. When he pulls back, you bite your lip and smile at him, “Next time, will you fuck me?”

Kirishima inhales sharply, and his grip on your hips tightens to the point that the pressure is near bruising. “You really want that?”

“God, yes.” you blurt, shifting so that you’re straddling his stomach. You lower yourself down so that you’re grinding against his bare skin, and you can see the exact moment that he realises you’ve soaked through your panties.

He groans, and pulls at your hips to encourage you to grind against his stomach harder. “Shit, sweetheart. You don’t think it’s… kind of gross?”

“I didn’t expect the amount of cum,” you confess, wiping at your face with a helpless laugh, “But no, I don’t think it’s gross. I like it.” You whimper as Kirishima’s thumb slides over your swollen clit, the glide made smooth thanks to the slickness of your own arousal.

Kirishima is looking up at you as though you had hung the moon, and it’s hard not to get a little embarrassed under the intensity of his gaze. “Okay,” he whispers, “If you’re sure.” He glances down with a small frown, his lips twisted thoughtfully, “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”

“You won’t.” you kiss his nose, grinning as it wrinkles up under your lips. “We’ll make sure I’m stretched.” you glance over your shoulder at his still wet, softening cock. Even now, the size of it is intimidating. “And lube,” you conclude, “We’ll use lots and lots of lube.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, a smile starting to light up his face. He presses a sloppy kiss to the base of your throat, and you can feel the smile against your skin, “Yeah, okay. I’d really like that.” There’s still cum everywhere, all over your hands and chest and face and splashed across Kirishima’s legs and stomach, but he doesn’t seem to care about the mess in the slightest as he rolls the two of you over so that he’s hovering over you. The kiss he presses to one of your breasts is impossibly soft, and you tilt your head back and sigh as you feel his fingers trace over the lips of your pussy. “I’m so lucky to have you.” he whispers, then pushes himself down your body.

As his tongue flicks over your clit, you smile. It’s definitely you that’s the lucky one here.

_________________________

Kirishima’s complicated relationship with his genitalia had started in middle school. Up until that point, he had managed to remain blissfully unaware that there was any kind of abnormality in his nether regions. That changed one day in the locker rooms.

Having never paid any particular attention to what he had in his pants, Kirishima hadn’t thought anything of changing out with the rest of the boys in his class, as unabashed as any middle-schooler that hadn’t developed a sense of self-consciousness yet. He didn’t notice the whispers or stares until one of his friends nudged him hard. “Dude,” he said, glancing between Kirishima’s legs and then away, curiosity and mild revulsion mingled on his face, “What’s wrong with your thingy?”

“Wrong?” Kirishima had echoed, discomfort beginning to prickle beneath his skin. He hadn’t realised there was anything wrong with his genitals. He covered up quickly and finished getting changed, but the stares lingered.

No one said anything more about it to him, but by the end of the day rumour had spread that Kirishima was weird down there.

He had, like so many boys his age, taken to the internet to do his own research. It felt like a punch to the gut when he realised that his classmates were right -- his dick looked nothing like the dicks that all the guys in the videos he found had. There were exceptions, where the person’s genitals were affected by their quirk, but they were always full-body quirks that made it pretty obvious that what you were gonna find down below would be non-standard. His genitals didn’t match his body or his quirk, so his classmates must be right when they say that he’s weird with those grossed-out little laughs.

He learned pretty quickly to keep that part of him to himself, to change out quickly and efficiently in such a way that no one would ever see the parts of him that he’d rather keep hidden. He welcomes physical contact because he’s still an affectionate guy, but he’s always careful about the distance he allows between himself and others just in case they brush up against him accidentally and somehow feel that he’s different. When the boys in his class start excitedly talking about girls and other boys, and how nice it’d be to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, Kirishima tries to stay out of it. He doesn’t want to wonder about something like that when he knows that if someone were to find out his secret they’d be totally grossed out.

High school comes hand in hand with experimentation though, and Kirishima is lonely and touch-starved. He doesn’t want to avoid touch for the rest of his life out of fear that someone’s going to know. So he allows himself to indulge a little; he’s popular with girls in UA, a fact that surprises him. Unlike the girls in middle school, they haven’t heard the rumours that there’s something wrong with him, so they smile and chat to him and even flirt. It’s exciting and new and he allows himself to have just this -- he kisses them and he makes them feel good, and then he retreats when they look for more because he just can’t give it to them. 

When he tells you all this, you could swear that you feel your heart crack right down the middle. You hadn’t realised how lonely Kirishima was, wrapped up in a self-constructed blanket of self-loathing and disgust. You knew it had taken a lot of trust for him to open up to you like he had, but you hadn’t realised just how much. It makes your chest fill with some undefinable emotion, and you just want to hold him and never let go. 

You’re more determined than ever now to show him exactly how much you care about him, and exactly how much any physical anomaly doesn’t affect the way you feel in the slightest. You’ve been stretching yourself methodically and carefully every night of the week that has passed since you gave him his first blowjob in preparation to finally have sex with him. You just want him to feel good, and you don’t want him to worry about hurting you. And now, tonight, you’ve decided that you’re ready for it.

Bakugou’s the one that answers the door when you knock at their shared apartment, and his face does something funny when he sees you. He lets you in without a greeting, and yells for Kirishima as you shut the door behind you. It’s definitely a little awkward, because your last proper conversation was that day when he told you that your now boyfriend didn’t get off when you were together, but you smile and ask him how he’s doing all the same.

He just grunts at you and sprawls out on the couch, his attention fixed on his phone. You don’t try to make any further conversation, because you figure he probably won’t respond and you can hear Kirishima crashing around further down the hall anyway. You’re about to slip down the hall towards Kirishima’s room when Bakugou speaks again, surprising you. “You talked.”

You pause, confused for half a moment before the memories of your last conversation come flooding back. “Oh. Uh, yeah, we did.” 

Bakugou nods, still staring at his phone. You hover uncertainly, unsure of whether you should continue to Kirishima’s room or if Bakugou had something else he wanted to say. You don’t have to wait long; Bakugou puts his phone down and turns to survey you closely. “If you’re still here, then I guess you didn’t freak out.”

“There’s nothing to freak out over.” you say defensively, thinking of how sensitive Kirishima is about his body.

“I never said there was!” Bakugou snaps back instantly. You both glare at each other, but you don’t respond further. You came here for one reason, and that reason was not to start a fight with Bakugou when your boyfriend was waiting for you in the bedroom. When Bakugou speaks again, it’s with an awkward edge to his voice. “Whatever. Just don’t be an asshole to him.”

You realise that Bakugou is just trying to look out for his friend, and the revelation that you’re receiving Bakugou’s awkward attempt at a shovel talk is enough to have you reeling. “As if I would be,” you say, “I really like him.”

“Good. Fine.” Bakugou picks his phone back up and you take that as a dismissal. You’re just about to leave when he says, “By the way, keep it the fuck down. I don’t care if you’re taking dragon dick or if it’s Shitty Hair’s first time getting his dick wet, I don’t need to hear that nasty shit.”

His crudeness has you flushing hot with embarrassment, but you don’t dignify him with a response. You slip down the hall and up to Kirishima’s bedroom, knocking softly on the door before letting yourself in.

Kirishima is in the process of trying to stuff a pile of clothes into the bottom of his wardrobe, and he slams the door shut and whirls around when he hears you come in. “Hey!” he beams at you, trying to kick aside the pair of underwear that’s stuck in the edge of the wardrobe door.

“Hey, you.” you greet him. You’re still a bit flustered from Bakugou’s comment, but you hide it as best as you can as Kirishima sweeps you up in his arms and pulls you into a sweet, close-mouthed kiss.

In the week since you blew him the first time, the two of you have alternated between your apartments and spent almost every single day together. Some days you just touched each other with your hands, other days you used your mouths on each other. You still hadn’t gotten fully used to his enormous loads of cum, but he seems at least to be getting more and more comfortable with your touch. Even now, his hands trail up your sides as he presses eagerly into you; this boldness would have been unheard of coming from him only a week ago, but neither of you are under any illusions about what the two of you are going to get up to this evening.

You wind your arms around his neck and melt into the kiss, relishing the contact and the wet slide of his lips against yours. As his hands trail from your hips to your lower back to your ass, you feel the hard press of his lower abdomen nudge against you. You pull back and grin at him, “Someone’s impatient.”

Kirishima flushes, but he doesn’t pull away or deny it. Progress. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” he confesses quietly, reaching up to nudge a flyaway tuft of hair out of your eyes.

“Yeah?” you grin, delighting in his openness. You take a small step back and look down at where his bulge is tenting the front of his sweatpants. “How long have you been like this, baby?”

“Pretty much since you texted me telling me you were thinking of coming over.” he says with a cheeky little smile, nudging his face into your neck and nipping at the skin there. “So, an hour and a half? Give or take.”

You hum as you cup his hardness through the cotton of his joggers. He groans and his hips jerk into your palm, as sensitive as ever. “Hey,” you murmur, “Wanna fuck me?”

Kirishima’s whole body twitches at that, and you swear you can feel his cock jump in his hand. “Now?” he asks, his voice gone a little hoarse from surprise and arousal.

“Unless you’d like to wait?”

“No! Now is good!” Kirishima says hastily, reaching out to hold your hips as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear. “God, now is so good.”

It’s really hard to hold back your laugh as you watch him scramble towards the bed, tugging you along with him. He’s excited, that much is obvious, and you really can’t blame him -- he’s gone so long thinking that he would never get to have this, that he would never be accepted like this. You want to give him everything.

His hands start fidgeting with the sheets as soon as he sits back on the bed. You straddle his lap and take his hands in yours before leaning in for a kiss, hoping to distract him from any nerves or self-doubts before they can take a hold of him. He hums happily into your mouth, squeezing one of your hands in his and using the other one to wrap around your waist and pull you closer.

“I’ve thought about sex with you so many times,” you admit when you pull away from the kiss. You reach up and stroke a line down the bridge of his nose, then push back a lock of his hair; it’s freshly washed and ungelled, lying fluffy and loose around his face. He’s looking up at you like you just hung the moon, open-mouthed and soft-eyed. It’s such a sweet look on him, and you love watching it contort into pleasure as you sink down to rub yourself against his hard on. “I want you to feel good.”

Kirishima makes a choked off whining sound in his throat as he grinds up into you. “You always make me feel good.” he says. You can feel his cock thickening and filling out against you, and judging by how clearly you can feel him, he’s foregone the usual jockstrap or protective cup he uses to try and hide his shape in his pants. 

You reach down and pull at his sweatpants -- you manage to get one leg off entirely, but the other gets stuck halfway down his left thigh and you’re too impatient to keep pulling at it so you just abandon it in favour of reaching for Kirishima’s now exposed cock. You’ve gotten familiar with the thick ridges and bumps of it over the past week, familiar enough for your fingers to seek out his sensitive spots without even looking.

He moans as you touch him, and dips his hands into your pants so that he can squeeze at your ass. His grip is a little too hard, bordering on painful as he bites at your neck. He pops open the button on your pants and shoves one of his hands into your panties, rubbing at your clit with his thumb and trailing his other fingers along your slit. 

You rub at the bumps along the tip of his cock, and you’re rewarded with a little squirt of precum. It dribbles down your hand and onto the sheets, and you wonder if maybe you should put down some towels to try and keep the mess contained. But Kirishima is letting out the softest little moans as he tries to rut into your hand and rub at your clit at the same time, and you decide that ruining the moment to lay down towels just isn’t worth it. A little mess is a small sacrifice to make.

When his fingers finally dip inside you, you feel his whole body tense up and still. “Baby,” he says, his voice soft and a little stunned, “You..”

“I stretched myself out before I came over,” you finish for him, pushing your hips back so that his fingers sink all the way inside of you. The lube still inside of you makes the slide effortless, and the look on Kirishima’s face is absolutely priceless. “I’m ready when you are.”

Those words elicit another little spurt of precum as Kirishima’s cock twitches in your hand. When you glance down, you see that the base of his dick is engorged and painful looking, and it only seems to be swelling. You only get to look for a moment though, because then you’re being flipped on your back and Kirishima is looming over you. “Oh, baby, oh shit,” he grits out through clenched teeth as his cock rubs up against the back of your thighs. “Are you sure you want to?”

“I want to, I want to so bad,” you promise him, kissing where you can reach on his face. You reach down and grip his cock, guiding it to your entrance, “Go slow, baby.” You’re so excited when you first feel the tip of his cock press into you that you’re not sure if the gush of wetness is from your pussy or his precum. You’re so turned on that you wonder if the amount of lube you had used was overkill, but then the length of him starts to stretch you out and you decide that yes, you absolutely did need that lube.

As soon as the tip is in, Kirishima stills over you. His head drops down, forehead making contact with your shoulder as he groans. You rock your hips experimentally, your breathing gone a little ragged as you realise that you can feel all those fleshy bumps and ridges, but Kirishima snatches at your hips instantly to still you. When he speaks, his voice is strained, “I’m not gonna last.”

Affection bubbles up in your chest as you look at his flushed face, his misty eyes. He’s practically trembling from the effort of holding back. “It’s okay,” you assure him, looping your arms over his shoulders and tracing little patterns into the skin of his back, “You don’t have to, it’s your first time. We have all the time in the world to go again and again, as many times as you want.”

Kirishima makes a garbled little noise in the back of his throat, and then he’s kissing you so sloppily and enthusiastically that drool begins to slip down your chins. It’s a little gross, but considering how much cum you’re going to be covered in soon enough you can’t be too fussy. When he pulls back, it’s so that he can look down and watch where his cock is entering you in increments.

The slow, inexorable stretch of it has your breath catching in your throat. You throw your head back on the bed and focus on keeping your breathing as steady as possible as he presses into you so, so slowly. After exploring the length of him with your mouth and hands, you knew he was big, but apparently knowing and feeling are two completely separate things. You feel like you’re being stretched impossibly wide, and when you glance down you see that he’s not even halfway in. 

Kirishima pauses suddenly, his breathing coming in short pants. You think that he’s just taking a moment to collect himself, to pace himself, but he’s frowning down at where the two of you are connected. “I dont- I don’t think I’ll fit.”

“Oh, you’ll fit.” you declare, jaw set stubbornly. His dick was already partly in you, and like hell were you giving up now. “Don’t worry. Keep going, Eiji.”

“You’re so…” he groans as he edges his hips forward, rocking his cock another inch inside of you, “So tight, you feel so wet and warm inside, oh god, so good, so good.”

The stretch is starting to sting, but you’ve prepared yourself well for this and it’s not so bad that you can’t breathe through it. When he bottoms out inside you, the tip of his cock hits your cervix and your whole body jerks hard at the dull ache it sends up your spine. “Fuck!” you cry out, your hips humping back into Kirishima’s of their own accord. You can feel every damn ridge and swirl grinding against your insides, and you clamp down hard around him, gasping. “Oh, shit.”

You’ve never felt so full in your life, and Kirishima’s cock doesn’t even fit all the way inside you. You wonder if you’re about to split in two. Your thighs are splayed obscenely wide, and you can feel your own body trying to suck him in further but there’s nowhere else to go because he’s filling you up so completely. Your chest is heaving as you pant for breath -- your thoughts have turned a little muddy, but even now you can see that Kirishima has frozen, his face tucked into your neck as he shudders with deep, panting breaths. Your shoulder feels wet, and you realise that he’s drooling on you.

“Eijirou,” you groan, “Move.”

His first thrust is hesitant, exploratory. He apparently likes what he feels, because he lifts his head up so that he can look at you properly. He looks totally blissed out, his eyes a little unfocused, and his expression alone shoots a bolt of heat straight between your legs. You breathe out a curse and move your hips down and into him, trying to encourage him to fuck you properly. When he thrusts forward again, the movement is accompanied by a vulgar squelching sound, and you realise that you’re probably being filled up with his precum. The thought makes you moan quietly, tightening up around him. 

Kirishima grunts and dives down so that your chests are pressed together, his arms pushing your legs up and to the side, and then suddenly he’s fucking into you for real. His moans sound like they’ve come straight out of a porn video as he shoves his cock as deep inside you as possible before pulling out and doing it again. All you can do is gasp against him as the breath is driven straight out of your lungs by his desperate humping.

His movements are nearly feral, jackhammering into you at a pace that probably should feel punishing but instead has you hiccuping out moans on every stroke. The size of him and the speed at which he’s fucking at you is overwhelming in the best possible way. He keeps gasping your name in between moans, his jaw lolling open as he pants for breath. “Oh, baby girl, you feel so good, so good for me. You like this?”

“Yes!” you wheeze, clinging to his shoulders as he rails you into the mattress. It’s better than you ever could have hoped for, and you���re nearly sobbing from the sheer sensation of it all. “Oh god, don’t stop!” You feel your abdomen drawing tight, heat beginning to build rapidly in the bottom of your belly, and you practically throw yourself down to meet his thrusts. “Please, I’m gonna cum, make me cum, Eiji!”

Kirishima practically snarls at that, his hand snaking down to your pussy even as he keeps rutting into you. His hand finds your clit and starts stroking at it hard and fast at a pace that matches his fucking. “Fuck yes, I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

You know you’re starting to shake apart, his cock and his fingers too much for you. Your body is strung taut, your orgasm so close you can virtually taste it. As he feels you clamp down around him Kirishima lets out a whimpering moan, and with that you’re totally gone, head slamming back on the bed as you let out mindless, breathless little choking moans. It feels like your vision totally wipes out as you convulse in Kirishima’s arms, hips twitching wildly. 

When the euphoria of your orgasm finally subsides, you feel so totally fucked out that you hardly know which way is up. It takes you a moment to become aware of the way Kirishima is humping into you desperately now, hunkering over you and groaning. Feeling his cock slide in and out of your over-sensitive and still twitching pussy is almost too much, and you know you won’t be able to take much more of his relentless pounding. You clench around him as tight as you can and cup his sweaty face in your hands, smiling at the open-mouthed look of pure need he’s giving you. “Are you gonna cum inside me, Eiji?”

Apparently that was the correct thing to say, because you can see the moment that he hurtles completely over the edge. He shoves his cock as deep as he can get inside you and then he’s crying out as he begins to empty himself inside you. He keeps rocking, even though his cock is crammed as far into you as it’s possible to get, and you tremble and gasp as you feel his cum spraying inside you. It feels totally filthy, and there’s so much of it that you can feel it leaking out and down your ass even though Kirishima’s cock is still plugging you up. There’s so much cum that you actually start to wonder if your birth control is going to still be effective. You almost expect it to start coming out of your ears.

It seems like he’s cumming forever, and eventually he has to pull out because you’re just too full. As soon as his gradually softening cock is pulled free, it seems like a veritable bucketload of cum streams out of you and makes a mess of the bedcovers. It’s simultaneously really gross and really, really hot, and you don’t have the energy to unpack that so you just lay back and watch as Kirishima’s cock continues to dribble cum all over his legs and your abdomen. The swollen base of his cock is deflated now, and his dick eventually gives one last twitch and then he’s finished. 

He collapses on top of you, sweaty and soiled with his cum, but you don’t complain as he wraps you up in his arms and kisses your temples, murmuring soft, mindless praise into your hairline. “Are you okay?” he whispers, “Did I hurt you?”

You laugh a little, still winded. Your pussy is feeling achey from being stretched so wide, and you’re definitely going to have trouble walking tomorrow, but it’s the best kind of hurt imaginable. “You did everything just right.” you say, giving him a tired smile. “How was it?”

“If I could stay in your pussy forever, I would.” he says solemnly, the barest hint of a smile pulling at his lips.

You laugh properly at that, and roll over so that you’re lying across his chest. “Yeah? Well, I think you’ve just ruined me for all other cocks in the world. No one's ever gonna compare to how good yours feels.”

With your chin on his chest, you have a clear view of the way he flushes at your words, and the vulnerability that creeps into his expression as he looks at you. “Really?”

“I just came so hard it felt like the world was ending.” you grin at him, then press a teasing kiss to one of his pecs. “Yes, really.”

A smile breaks out on his face, toothy and dorky, as if he can’t believe his luck. “So… Would you want to do it again, maybe? Sometime?”

The smile you return is so wide it feels like it’s about to split your face. “Yeah, Eiji. Without question.”

It’s hard to kiss when you’re both grinning like total idiots, but the two of you make a valiant effort all the same. The ridiculous amount of cum painting the two of you is beginning to dry and flake off your skin, and it's definitely kind of gross but you’re so happy and sated and tired in that moment that you’re pretty sure nothing on earth could ruin the moment for you. Not even Bakugou when he comes pounding at the door and yelling obscenities in the form of noise complaints.

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (May 30th-July 5th)

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Narrative basically ret-cons bad behavior of someone who isn't Marinette.

Oh yay! Alya V2!

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow to know that Mouse!Mylene will be called Multimouse.

I read somewhere that her name will be Polymouse but the source was broken.

Please be a mistake back when we saw the hero names and Mylene didn’t get her own name.

I’d also like to add a bonus that either Mylene gets named that without her consent (like someone calls her that), or Mylene names herself that without any knowledge of Multimouse!Marinette at all.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Assuming Luka×Zoe actually happens, there will be no build up whatsoever. In one episode, they just happen to get trapped together somewhere, talk for like ten seconds and start dating immediately afterwards. Basically the same as Alya×Nino bc none of the ships in this show (other than Lukanette and Adrigami) had any sort of meaningful developement before happening

A relationship beyond the love square getting development??? That’s cute.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Nino is gonna realize that Alya has the fox miraculous full time now and because of that he's gonna get pissy and so somehow Alya will be outta commission and Nino will be there so Marinette will give him a miraculous, Alya will probably say something encouraging about Nino, and then HE'LL get a full time miraculous to.

The only reason I don’t feel like this won’t happen is that it doesn’t direct anywhere near as much blame onto Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Don't need burrow to know Chat will get angry at Ladybug and maybe Rena because Rena is now a permanent hero and he'll spend the day being a dick, but he'll be forced to work with Rena and realize things are good, but he'll only apologize to Rena.

Ladybug is just used to being chopped liver I assume.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrigami is restored, while Lukanette isn't.

Marinette will be too busy being forced by the narrative to continue caring about Adrien.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow, Su Han will only reappear at the end of the season and then disappear again.

“Hi, Su-Ha--oh, there he goes.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrien decide to confess his secret identity as Chat Noir to Nathalie. She decide to don't tell him that his father is Hawkmoth (but also decide to don't tell Gabriel that his son is Chat Noir)

God, the Agreste drama intensifies. Kill me.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette actually REJECTS Adrien after the identity reveal after it hits her all at once that HE did all the awful, questionable things Chat Noir did. This allows the Love Square Drama to continue, with Marinette being slammed for DARING to be upset/have STANDARDS - everyone claims that she's set the bar too impossibly high and is responsible for her own romantic misery, while Adrien continues being coddled by other temporary love interests while waiting for her to wise up.

Uggggggh.

I���m just waiting for Ladybug to loudly reject Chat Noir and then she falls for him soon after and bonus if Chat rubs it in her face that she’s moved on or the narrative ignores Chat’s past actions as Ladybug is all like, “WOW HE’S SO RESPECTFUL NOW.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug's continued rejections of Chat Noir are directly compared to Gabriel's shitty parenting -- both of them are denying Adrien things he wants, and these crimes against Sadrien are depicted as equally awful.  (If not weighted towards Ladybug being worse because sHe'S bReAkInG hIs WiDdLe HeArT~~~)

This one wins for making me the most upset.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Juleka will become the tiger hero in another Julerose-centric episode, but this time Rose is akumatized (into princess fragrance again, but this time with a sentimonster so it’s DiFfErEnT). It will chronologically take place after guilt trip, but Rose’s disability will not be acknowledged, even in passing.

I swear, if I have to see a repeat akuma ONE MORE TIME!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: The major conflict of the season will be Marinette repeating “mistakes” (this can be similar to not keeping chat 100% in the loop till he throws a fit or having a human to depend on emotionally about miraculous stuff) Bonus: The show doesn’t show the good that came out of her actions and only the bad (Not having a breakdown and etc)

Yup. Definitely Marinette’s fault that she needed to rely on someone so she didn’t have a breakdown. She should’ve buried her emotions and broke down every day instead.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: After the show runners give into another fan theory of new permanent heroes, they will quickly show why this was a mistake. Bonus if it’s the very next episode (because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad)

This already felt super likely and then you added “because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad” and now I’m just sad because it’s doubly right.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette, who dreams of being a fashion designer, designs something that’s just ugly. Bonus if it’s never addressed/characters just say it’s great so the show doesn’t look bad at designing clothes

Does Ladybug count? Still can’t believe Chat Noir gets the “complex” outfit with actual thought and Ladybug gets the onesie.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that Emilie intended to use the Miraculi they'd found to 'give Adrien the world'.  This is treated as a sympathetic motive because, as Word of God constantly insists, Adrien is perfect and deserves everything he desires, regardless of how anyone else feels about it.  Thus it doesn't matter what horrific things his parents did or intended; their goals are treated as righteous, with Ladybug being Wrong to oppose them.

They just want what’s best for their son!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a plot in which LADYBUG is accused of not caring about civilians, with Adrien/Chat Noir getting to lecture her as if HE has the moral high ground.  Or any ground to stand on.  His abysmal track record is completely ignored, retconned, or otherwise treated as inapplicable; we likely get a singular moment where he suddenly Gives A Shit about protecting one of his friends/classmates, which is treated as proof that he Always Cares About Such Matters.

Bonus if it’s Ladybug choosing not to defend/save someone who spited her/deserves it, which is “clearly worse” than Chat Noir threatening to let Paris drown in “Syren.” Ladybug is not allowed to be human and also not allowed to show people that there are consequences for their actions, proving that they/Chat can take advantage and mock her as much as they want with no repurcussions.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Sabrina and Chloe have another Friendship Breakup; when Sabrina seems poised to actually get away from her abusive 'BFF' for good, Adrien intervenes/whines at Marinette to help him fix it, because it's nOt FaAaAaIr for Chloe to be aLl AlOoOoOoNe...

Is it too late to make Adrien disappear and have it look like an accident.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: In a Shocking Twist, Cats are revealed to be cursed - the majority suffer some catastrophic fate as the Ring eventually causes their Destruction.  Only True Love can break it, making Ladybug's refusal to give in to Chat Noir's advances a literal matter of life-and-death and 'justifying' all of his behavior.  Bonus if it's retconned that *Adrien always knew this*, despite nothing in his behavior ever indicating he believed himself to be on borrowed time.  Because Angstrese.

Also bonus if this is also used as just another way to make him seem sympathetic. Double bonus if this information is brought up after Ladybug snaps at Chat Noir, and she’s told this information to make her feel guilty.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Adrien reveal someone his secret identity, it will be ... obviously Wayhem.

Nino: hello darkness--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Goat!Marc, Rooster!Nathaniel and even Ox!Ivan will be buffed out because not even the boys in this show are allowed to keep their own body shapes when they become superheroes.

I’m positive Ivan especially will be beefed up. The civilian models are really awkward at times and clearly not prepared to be put in onesies (it’s hard to explain and maybe someone more experienced with propotions/anatomy will be able to say it better, but their limbs don’t have a lot of “shape” to them I guess?).

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Alya’s miraculous looks exactly the same in it’s “camouflage” mode solely so Lila can easily switch her necklace with Alya’s. (seriously why does it not change that bothers the hell out of me)

If that happens, I’d put money on Alya not getting called out on it. Good to know you put so much priority on “secrecy,” Alya.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: A kwami swap will happen again somehow. Marinette will uncharacteristically scold Adrien way more harshly than normal AGAIN to make him feel bad about himself and this will further the (Adrien melodrama depression arc) of him feeling useless/ replaced. Bonus points if Alya picks up his slack.

Honestly, I was here for the scolding in “Reflekdoll” just because there weren’t consequences for her for once.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: There will be Sad Noir galore. Its all Ladybug’s fault, naturally.

Naturally.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Episode where Sabrina gets Dog Miraculous will be Chloe-centric (or Bourgeois sisters centric)

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: the episode where Sabrina gets the Dog Miraculous (which seems inevitable now, ugh) will heavily feature or even focus on Chloé, despite the fact that Chloé has already had a couple of episodes focusing largely on her this season. Sabrina’s introduction as a hero will have about as much focus as Kim’s or will be jammed into the last five minutes of the episode. Bonus points if they manage to deny her a proper transformation sequence like they did Kagami.

Roger: *exists and desperately needs development on his policy that caused Sabrina to become Chloe’s slave in the first place*

show: okay but--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Under pressure, Marinette admits to Alya and/or Tikki that she doesn't mind the attention (aka constant harassment) Chat Noir gives her; parroting common claims by sexual harassers, she says it makes her feel *special* and *noticed*.  She may also insist that she still wishes he would focus on the AKUMA/their responsibilities more, but the obvious point of this scene is to 'justify' his behavior with evidence that 'she enjoys it'.

MARINETTE

PLEASE

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a joke about Chat Noir *copping a feel* on Ladybug after an akuma sends them into an awkward position.  Ladybug's shock and discomfort is played for laughs; bonus if he quips about her suit not leaving much to the imagination.  Adrien is in a fantastic mood afterwards, considering that to be the 'best battle yet'.  (Alternatively, another heroine is victimized and Ladybug is visibly jealous/her annoyance at Chat is treated like jealousy.)

I’m not adding this to the spreadsheet just because a scene like that is too dicey for a kid’s show (though, believe me, if it were to happen, I’m putting that on it’s own damn card), but I will say that this would 100% happen if this were an anime/aimed towards an older audience.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien tricks Alya into thinking that Chat Noir already knows Ladybug's secret identity, thusly learning that she's Marinette.  This is passed off as all MARI's fault, naturally.  If Alya apologizes at all, it's in a backhanded, "But why didn't he know this already?" sort of fashion.

It’s Marinette’s fault for telling Alya her identity in the first place.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Post-Reveal, Marinette struggles to reconcile how her crush is also her abusive slacker 'partner'.  Adrien, by contrast, accepts her as Ladybug immediately... though his words make clear that he doesn't give a shit who SHE is, just that she's Ladybug.  Naturally, this is treated as Mari needing to learn how to accept Adrien for who he is, all while insisting that his many flaws and failings aren't issues at all.

i hate it, thanks

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The RLBS is EXPLICITLY punishment for Marinette: after a mutual reveal, Adrien declares that they can't get together as civilians until she accepts him as Chat Noir.  Mari is forced to awkwardly pursue Chat as Ladybug while he strings her along/humiliates her; meanwhile, Adrien trolls her with shallow gestures to fluster her/rile up their shipper classmates, who ride her ass for not 'sealing the deal' and making their relationship official.  Alya, aware of everything, is the WORST about it.

I presume that “RLBS” is “Reverse Love BS” which... yes.

Also, that whole “she needs to accept him as Chat Noir” infuriates me because that’s been a fandom thing forever.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The only reason Sabrina got Dog Miraculous is because of a scene where Chloe literally "Kick the Dog".

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know that despite Sabrina almost certainly getting a miraculous and becoming a hero, the fact that she deserves better than being abused by Chloé and is a worthwhile individual in her own right will not be addressed. Because StATuS QuO!

I just had a horrible thought that they’ll do the episode like--

Chloe treats Sabrina terribly like usual, Sabrina ditches Chloe and Chloe is miserable + takes it out on everyone else for it, then Chloe gets akumatized over it and Sabrina gets the dog (for “loyalty”), which leads to Sabrina going back to Chloe so that Chloe will direct the abuse more solely towards Sabrina because “she takes it out on others otherwise”/she’s “used to it”/”it’s her responsibility and this is the right thing to do.” This will also be presented as the “right choice” and Chloe and Sabrina’s relationship will basically not change for the sake of leaving Chloe the way she is.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Cat Noir is gonna throw a Syren-Sized fit if/when he finds out that Ladybug dares to have a support network through Alya (not a very GOOD support network, but one nonetheless).

Still waiting for the “lesson” where Ladybug is told she’s not allowed to have emotions/be vulnerable.

Oh wait, that’s the show.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir will angst and fish for sympathy points instead of apologizing for the 40th time in the series.

Every time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Luka is gonna say that Adrien and Marinette are made for each other. This is the last appearance that he will make in the show (with exception to background/shipping fuel between him and somebody else w̶h̶o̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶i̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶Z̶o̶è̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶K̶a̶g̶a̶m̶i̶).

Considering the ““““parellel”“““ episodes of “Truth” and “Lies,” I’m just ready for the same thing that happened with Kagami in “Mr. Pigeon 72.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx plays pranks on Alya's family and is a little troll; he particularly loves teasing the twins, since any claims they might make about seeing a 'magical flying fox' will be passed  off as childish imaginings.  Alya blames Marinette for this more than she does Trixx.

Marineeeette, raise your “children” better!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will wind up spilling Ladybug's secret identity to Nino because 'she needs to talk to SOMEONE about this!' (and Mari CLEARLY doesn't count for anything) and trusts her boyfriend.

I would also imagine Alya going on about Marinette’s secret to Nino without explicitly telling him.

Also, this will be an episode in this season because Alya couldn’t even keep it in for ONE SEASON (”Animan” all over again).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will be seriously injured during an akuma battle, with circumstances preventing them from winning the fight/repairing the damage with Miraculous Cure right away.  Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to exploit the situation to learn 'his lady's' secret identity.  The narrative REFUSES to call him out on this; it's entirely on Marinette to protect herself by hiding the truth despite her injuries.

Bonus because “Ladybug” seemed to imply that their almost invincible in their suits, though I imagine if they get hurt, it’ll be Chat Noir and used for angst (like in “Miraculer”).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will combine Miraculi more often to cut down on having to track down others all the time and put them in danger.  (And also because the merch guys want more stuff to base toys off of.)  She gets condemned for being a 'glory hound' and 'taught' that she needs to rely upon others more often, no matter what sort of risks that might entail (she'll get blamed for that anyway) or how they might let her down (again, always her fault).

Marinette: *tries not to burden others and instead does what the narrative has convinced her of; bearing the world’s weight alone until she breaks*

show: gOd, mArIneTtE--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir's tendency to screw around, flirt, and not read or work with his allies at all gets Rena Rouge, Vesperia or one of the other heroes hurt.  Naturally, this is played for Sadrien above all else -- if Ladybug or anyone else DARES to show any anger towards him for it, it's depicted as completely unjustified and unfair.  Bonus if the injured party insists that it's okay.

They neeeed Chat Noir to lighten the mood! He’s worth the risk!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: RLBS is kicked off by Marinette being utterly HUMILIATED by Adrien publicly rejecting her once he can't ignore her crush anymore, spurring her to give up on him 'for good'.  Adrien decides that he misses her chasing after him and starts pursuing her, with Alya and others encouraging her to accept his advances/telling her that she's crazy to reject him even after what he did.  Marinette's utter misery over the whole ordeal is treated as HILARIOUS.

It’s not like he mEaNt to embarrass you, Marinette!!!

Marinette didn’t meant to do a lot of things too but you don’t see the show giving her any slack.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir starts treating Alya/Rena Rouge with exactly as much 'respect' as he gives Ladybug -- which is to say, nothing but lip service paired with stunts like refusing to help unless she spills Ladybug's secrets.  Alya naturally blames Marinette for this.

I’m torn on whether he’d “””respect her””” as much as Ladybug or give her even more respect, probably on the premise that “Ladybug chose her,” and that somehow proves that Chat Noir is a good guy in all this (while, again, disrespecting/not trusting Ladybug/making his own decisions at every corner).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to charm Alya/Rena Rouge into sharing Ladybug's secrets with him, possibly making Nino jealous in the process.

*sees “Rocketear” trailer*

oh no...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get another 'Bad Future' episode centered on Sadrien; this time around, it features him losing the Ring, painting this popular plotline as a horrible idea because Adrien is Perfect and Never Does Anything Wrong, and should never be punished for his actions.  No matter how it happens, Marinette is blamed for it; bonus if somebody angrily tells her that SHE should have lost HER Miraculous instead.

Wouldn’t be surprised, but that would also mean making a new model of a cat hero.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that part of the reason Alix/Bunnix refuses to share any 'Spoilers' about how the future is 'meant to go' is because Marinette Suffers Incredibly in the process, and Alix knows that she'd try to find some other way... and assumes that she'd fail in the process.  This is treated as entirely valid and Marinette, if she learns that this is part why Bunnix won't tell her shit, has to accept that she's just doomed to be Fate's personal punching bag.  Sucks to be her!

It’s “meant to be.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug is told outright that she's a horrible person for not respecting Chat Noir's feelings for her.  Bonus points if it's Alya, citing Mari's crush on Adrien as proof that she should know how it feels to constantly fail at getting your crush's attention.  (Alternately, Adrien venting to her about how *unfair* it is that Ladybug's so cruel to her partner, unaware of the dramatic irony.)  Triple-7 Jackpot of Shit if this contributes to the RLBS becoming a thing.

UGGGGGH.

And of course Chat Noir wouldn’t get the same treament and it’ll be like, “WELL ADRIEN DOESN’T kNoW sO--”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Instead of Lila, Chloe is revealed to be the next holder of the Butterfly Miraculous. This shows Chloe as "irredeemable" while successfully writing Lila out of the show.

Meanwhile, the writers’ script is frantically scribbled on with red marker.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that post about Lila being future Hawkmoth was Red Herring (or in this case orange herring)

Dumb herring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need a burrow;

By the end of the series, Gabriel will have a redemption arc to feel sympathy for him :o

guys he’s so sad don’t you see--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien's inability to choose between the 'love of his life' and the abusive shitbag excuse of a sire who'd just smacked him like a ping-pong ball foreshadows that he will ultimate choose Gabriel after learning that he's Hawk/Shadowmoth.  This will be entirely blamed on Marinette not being able to keep him by her side because 'she didn't love/cherish/appreciate him enough'!

After “Guiltrip” and the whole, “I don’t say this enough--” line, I’d buy it and now I’m sad.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The RLBS is kicked off by Chat Noir switching sides and joining Hawk/Shadowmoth.  Ladybug is forced to appeal to Chat's 'love' for her, with Alya, Tikki, and various other 'friends'/allies blaming her for his defection.  Meanwhile, Sadrien starts pursuing Marinette as an outlet for his mangst, 'unintentionally' making her more miserably conflicted in the process.

She rejected him and therefore he’s in his right to switch sides. She never even gave him a chance!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien is a Sentimonster/was created by other Miraculous magic by the Agrestes, who desired a 'perfect/model son'.  This is used to further the narrative that his entitlement is actually a Good Thing: Adrien was not MEANT to have any wants/needs/desires of his own, but mysteriously developed them anyway.  Thus Marinette NEEDS to cater to his every whim because it's sO mIrAcUlOuS that he HAS them in the first place.  Hooray...?

His very EXISTENCE is MIRACULOUS, Marinette!!!

Also, Astruc will act like this was amazingly foreshadowed in “Ladybug” where Ladybug comments on Sentibug’s perfection.and with Astruc always called Adrien perfect (either on his own or through other characters).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Another Shocking Familial Connection is revealed: Felix is not Adrien's cousin, but Gabriel and Emilie's original son, whom they shunted off on her sister and replaced with the 'perfect' Adrien.  50-50 split on whether this is used to excuse all of Felix's shitty behavior or if he's demonized further -- 'See, THIS is why they replaced him!  ANYONE would choose the Perfect Adrien over someone like THAT!'

Why not both????

It’s like the Chloe-Zoe situation but male.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: After learning that Rena Rouge has become Ladybug's confidant, Chat Noir outright REFUSES to help at a critical moment, sneering about how 'you ladies CLEARLY don't need me'.  As with everything else, the blame for his latest stunt is laid neatly at Marinette's feet, because Adrien is never EVER responsible for his own actions.

They’ll probably blame Marinette because Ladybug “didn’t tell him right away.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Circumstances force Adrien to be Mr. Bug again (since they already have the models).  Much is milked from how HAAAAAAAARRRRD his temporary responsibilities are on him, and he reiterates afterwards how happy he is that he doesn't have to deal with that all the time.  No actual sympathy for Ladybug's situation is displayed, though stans treat it as such; what we're actually SHOWN is that Adrien only cares about the burden when HE'S the one stuck carrying it.

As per usual, no one cares about Marinette’s problems until it directly affects THEM, and then they’ll go back to not caring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: With all of the other abusive behavior Adrien has shown towards Ladybug, it's only a matter of time before we get a 'Why did you make me hit you?' moment.  No akuma influence; just him physically lashing out at her because he's an entitled little shit upset over not getting his way, followed by the inevitable bleating about how bad HE feels and how he'll 'never do it again'.  Naturally, this is presented as though Marinette 'deserved it' and must accept his apology.

Show, don’t do this to me, I swear--

I’d be surprised if this did happen, but more because it’s like wow the lack of self-awareness is even worse than I thought.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a Very Special Episode about sexual harassment... which not only refuses to acknowledge Adrien's behavior as such, but asserts that he would NEVER touch 'his lady' in any kind of inappropriate fashion.  Bonus: he harasses her in that very same episode to 'prove' that his behavior isn't inappropriate.

So “Felix” but worse...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The reason why ML Writers made Zoe an actress is to justify why she managed to recognize that Lila is "Liar that lies" instantly after meeting her.

Waiting for the moment where Zoe talks to Marinette to address Marinette “acting like she’s not in love with Adrien.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Lila steals the Fox Pendant from Alya/does something that affects her *personally*.  Alya then reads Marinette the riot act, demanding to know "Why didn't you WARN ME about her?!"  (None of the times that she DID count because Alya dismissed them as her 'just being jealous', which is, of course, entirely Mari's fault.)  Bonus if we allude back to her claiming that 'good reporters do their research' and how she expected MARI to provide her her with proof of her claims.

Marinette: *thousand yard stare*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Lila is exposed, Marinette gets blamed for all the harm she caused with her various deceptions, since she tried to warn others and couldn't convince anyone of the truth.  Adrien 'taking the high road' is largely glossed over; if anyone finds out that HE knew too and never did anything to warn anyone, he's quickly forgiven for 'not knowing any better'.

See, Marinette, if you just hadn’t tRiEd--

And Adrien was just trying to “be nice to everyone equally” so he’s forgiven.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir outright admits that he dislikes Rena/the other heroes being around since they make him feel unnecessary.  This is treated as a perfectly reasonable and valid complaint rather than a slacker piss-moaning about being shown up by others making actual EFFORT.

*flashbacks to “You’re not trying to replace me with a turtle, are you?” after Carapace shows up LITERALLY ONCE*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a retread of the NYC Special's Angstrian when he accidentally ('accidentally?') Cataclysms Rena/somebody else.  Bonus if the victim once again argues that THEIR experiences/trauma are FAR less important than his.  (Especially if it's Alya, Nino, Max... somebody who ALSO happens to be a character of color temporarily killed off to make the spoiled white rich brat feel sorry for himself.)

It’s an accident and also probably “Ladybug’s fault.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir skips an akuma attack/shows up late to find it was resolved without him, and mopes about how 'his lady doesn't need him anymore', requiring somebody else to massage his ego.  Bonus points if somebody (likely Ladybug) is demonized for getting annoyed at him for being late/a no-show, because HOW DARE they take defending Paris seriously?!

Well excuse us, Chat, next time we’ll just awkwardly stall for twenty minutes.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will 'accidentally' Cataclysm one of the protective Charms so that its holder can be akumatized again.  Bonus if he does this to Alya/one of the other heroes.

Probably Chloe.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The protective charms are ultimately rendered effectively pointless when Adrien switches sides and starts using his powers to destroy them.  Naturally, Marinette is held completely responsible for his actions, because God FORBID he ever be called to account for himself.  Not when his 'partner' is around to absorb all the blame.

You didn’t make him feel loVeD, Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien pulls a Chloe with his own attempt at engineered heroics, putting the lives of others on the line to 'prove his value'.  Ladybug is completely blamed for the stunt; bonus if someone accuses her of 'not learning anything' from what happened with Chloe.

Hate it. Hate it a lot.

We already got him trying to cause/hoping for akuma, so this isn’t too far off.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gives Zoe better advice for dealing with her bullies.  His policy for handling Chloe and Lila remains the same as ever.  (In other words, only Marinette has to 'be the better person' and keep suffering at the hands of her abusers, since it maintains his preferred status quo.  But it's no skin off his nose if Zoe's situation changes/improves.)

I also imagine that Adrien would give this advice without Marinette onscreen, so Adrien won’t be called out on it.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya will reveal Marinette’s identity to someone (possibly Nino) and the show will then punish Marinette for trusting Alya in the first place. Bonus point if the show then says she should have trusted Adrien/Chat Noir because he would never have betrayed her trust.

I’m just remembering the fandom’s complaints and wow I hate it.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Ladybug Miraculous basically change into Poor man's version of Green Lantern's Ring

*stares at the phone in “Optigami” that somehow picks up on the kwamis’ voices* hm

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette will look through the future and see one where she and Luka get together, except it’s portrayed as bad and abusive, more so if he knows her secret identity, and the only way for her to escape it is by getting with Chat Noir(and not...you know, anybody else. Or being single. Or MAKING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK!!!). Chat Noir sees it too, and gloat about in her face, since it proved that they were “meant for each other, m’lady!” Bonus points if someone calls Thomas Ass Truck out on this shit, and he either replies that it was the best thing to do, claims it doesn’t matter how Lukanette is treated/the love square ends up together because they’re “made for each other” anyway, or even tries to pass it off as “girl power”, because how could we let the female lead get with the respe—oops, I mean abusive guy over the one who treats her te—oops, I mean respectfully and like a “gentleman” would?! And then he’ll follow up by blocking them for daring to question the Ridiculous Relationship Rhombus and respect the “non-endgame” ship. Even wor—oops! I mean, better, if love square shippers use this opportunity to gloat about how “I always knew Adrien and Marinette(notice how they always place his name first?!) were perfect for each other, Luka wasn’t good enough for Marinette, take that, Lukanette shippers!” declaring it “anti-salt”.

bfgkdjfgdfg god

Also, the only problem with this idea is that it would mean making an adult model for Luka.

Bonus if another “disadvantage” to Marinette dating Luka is that Luka isn’t high class.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be told outright to 'Get over yourself' and stop bringing up valid complaints about Chat Noir's shitty behavior, as the series becomes increasingly overt with its subtext about how one of Marinette's Biggest Mistakes is having STANDARDS.

Ignoring that Luka exists, of course, and if it’s mentioned that Luka exists then cue, “OH BUT SHE DOESN’T AAAACTUALLY LOVE LUKA.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: SentiWiFi (Lady WiFi Sentimonster)

SentiEveryone at this point...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Nino is again robbed of screentime by Sentimonster based on him.

*sees “Sentibubbler” title and trailer*

Did--did you predict the future??

...I mean, we’ve been doing that the whole time, but damn.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue shoving Marinette towards Adrien, then mockingly ask 'Didn't you want to give romance a break?' or something along those lines.  Showing that not only is she fully aware of Marinette's wishes and doesn't give a damn, but implicitly blaming Marinette for her inability to stick to them, despite how SHE is the one forcing the issue.

“We all know that you WANT HIM, Marinette! Stop denying yourself!!!”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Marinette gets a spot of hope regarding her relationship woes, Alya leaps in to take all the credit for the apparent success.  Once the light turns out to be an incoming Drama Train that blindsides Marinette and leaves her humiliated and heartbroken, Alya insists that it's entirely MARI's fault that things went off the rails.

Waiting for a line from Alya about how she’s doing everything right and Marinette must be really hopeless if Alya’s schemes aren’t working...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya and Nino will get into a bit of Relationship Drama in order to further reinforce the series' double standards.  (Such as 'It's OK for boys to lie, but girls shouldn't have any secrets.'  Or 'Boys can hold grudges, but girls must forgive every trespass.'  Or 'Girls shouldn't told boys to impossible standards like expecting to be treated with basic human decency.')  Bonus points if Marinette gets blamed for it.

Yup.

Yup.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The subtext about Marinette not deserving a GOOD love interest is further emphasized by Kagami and Luka getting together.  Kagami comments on how she can trust Luka not to lie to her; this is the closest she gets to explaining to Marinette WHY she broke things off with Adrien in the first place.  After all, it doesn't matter if Adrien lies to Marinette; they're 'meant for each other'.

I’m still not over Kagami saying that the guy who lied to her is “made for” her only friend????

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe learns a valuable lesson about the importance of Being Herself with Luka's help, teasing the idea of the two of them getting together.

“Bonus” for Marinette saying that Zoe and Luka are made for each other.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir deliberately strings Vesperia along in a ploy to make Ladybug jealous.  Zoe is naturally heartbroken when she learns the truth.  Her pain is blamed entirely on Marinette, since Adrien can NEVER be held accountable for his own actions.

Ladybug, you should’ve seen this coming!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow (kinda?), Astruc apparently is aware that his perfect Adrien is flawed as Chat Noir (he said so on twitter), and I fear that if anyone ever asks him why the two sides of Adrien so different, he'll reveal that the cat miraculous changes the holder's personality or some shit, which will cause "Anti Adrien Salt" to explode, screaming "the salter's claims aren't valid anymore, it's not Adrien's fault, it's the miraculous!!!1!!111!!!!¡¡!¡¡¡!!!"

I feel like he denied that back when he still had a Tumblr but gosh I’m just waiting for it to be confirmed because FANON THEORIES.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gets a taste of what Marinette goes through constantly when he/Chat Noir suffers a bit of minor humiliation over his crush.  His pain and angst over this is played DEAD SERIOUS, treated as though he's suffering through the WORST THING EVER even though whatever happened pales in comparison to what Marinette has endured.  Anyone who dares so much as chuckle at what happened is villainized, since only a MONSTER would find his suffering funny.

I’m seething.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Return of Sentibug (for fanservice)

Bonus if they kill her off again. Something something “only one Ladybug” something.

neyla9 asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: So if Zoe gets sent to a new boarding school after being in Paris for a few months (there is a chance the writers will just completely ignore that this was established in Sole Crusher, in which case this probably won't happen), I predict that Zoe was brought in specifically to redeem Chloe, rubbing it in Marinette's face that she failed at redeeming Chloe, and force Marinette to give Chloe the bee miraculous back

Most likely. Apparently needed to bring someone else in to make Marinette feel worse.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien abandons/ditches his responsibilities as a hero because he's too busy sulking over his ego being bruised by some slight (real or imagined).  Marinette is naturally blamed for this.

Oh, of course!

Marinette probably had to be late for patrol so he was intentionally late for something, and then was like well you did it to me, so--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will get another tiresome 'Will she or won't she be redeemed?' arc, only to backstab/betray everyone again.  Astruc will preen and croon on social media about how gullible anyone that thinks she could ever be redeemable is.  Bonus points if Chloe's damning act that proves she's unsalvageable is something ADRIEN has done.

Meanwhile, Nino is back here absolutely collecting DUST!!!

I guess you gotta be a horrible person/make Marinette suffer to get screen time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will discover Vesperia's secret identity and steal the Bee Miraculous, then spitefully out Zoe so that SHE can't be a heroine anymore.

Marinette is running out of teens at this point but finding new ones would mean more models.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe is used to teach Marinette that she's too harsh on others for lying, and should accept that they can be dishonest sometimes.  (Especially Adrien.)  As a natural follow-up, Marinette is blamed/punished for falling for a friend's lies -- because CLEARLY it's not Alya/Adrien/anyone else's fault if she believes their bullshit!

No one’s perfect, Marinette! People are human!!

...Except you, of course.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Despite the incident with SentiNino, Shadow Moth will *successfully* obtain a miraculous by using the same trick.  Bonus points if it's Marinette/Ladybug who falls for it... though really, she'll be blamed regardless.

Double bonus if she doesn’t fall for it but it still goes through.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The 'Shocking Twist' of Adrien/Chat Noir betraying Team Miraculous and joining his father will be presented as though it's entirely Marinette/Ladybug's fault, with Adrien acting as though he Had No Choice and angsting about being 'forced' to betray his lady and friends.  The series never acknowledges how self-serving his motives actually are, and any call-outs he gets are treated as Wrong and Awful and Blaming Poor Innocent Victim Adrien.

“hE’s jUsT tRyinG tO sAvE hIs mOm”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: 'Borrowing' from many a Salt Fic, Marinette will thank her for 'proving who my *real* friends are'.  This entails giving Adrien, Alya and possibly others credit for always standing by her, believing in her, and various other things that they never actually did.

I’m presuming “her” means “everyone”/”the girl squad” and yup.

Better tell than show I guess.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be retconned into having 'never believed anything Lila said'.  Or at least, she will CLAIM that she never believed her.

I WILL BE SO UPSET

Also prepared for them to handwave it, like, “oh whatever, now I’m helping you since I know so it’s all good!”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: Similarities between Luka and Zoe were only red herring. Zoe will become Kagami's new love interest (and Kagami and Zoe's dynamic will be suspiciously similar do Fanon!Marigami)

But that would imply they care enough about LGBT rep.

Though they could always pull a Voltron and slip it in at the very end.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will suffer the toll/backlash from using multiple Miraculi ONLY for the sake of making that her Latest Mistake. Her past successes are only acknowledged as a way of painting her as arrogant for assuming she could continue doing so safely.

She’ll probably be yelled at and told not to “keep doing everything herself” even though that’s what the narrative keeps telling her to do.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien discovers his father's secret identity and hides it... and this is painted as an act of incredible self-sacrifice rather than selfishness.  Rather than treating it as a betrayal of Ladybug/Team Miraculous, the series focuses on his angst and 'inner struggle', pretending there's something heroic about him refusing to expose Hawkmoth and potentially put an end to his terrorizing Paris.

:|

Deep breaths, Clarity.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Alya will get to keep her boyfriend despite her being involved with the miraculous box n stuff, unlike Marinette. Why, you ask? Easy, the bond between Luka and Mari just isn't sTrOnG eNoUgH for them to last through difficult times, like Alya and Nino do so easily.

Ignoring that Marinette and Luka only just got together and also that Marinette has it WAY different than Alya.

But no I guess. Adrien and Marinette are “made for each other” so gotta discredit Lukanette whenever. Marinette isn’t allowed to be happy, we know.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: The one time Marinette gets a break from akumas and her responsibilities all hell breaks loose and the lesson for that episode will be that Marinette and Marinette alone must carry the burden of being Ladybug and Guardian.

Marinette: *gets five minutes of sleep*

Paris: *catches on fire*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow (Can I do two at once?): "Crocoduel" will not acknowledge the Lukanette breakup at all, and the titular Akuma will just be Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock again.

(You’re allowed two, absolutely!)

I’d like to add as well that, even if they do acknowledge the Lukanette breakup, Marinette will talk to Luka about it but then be like, “I’m not focusing on love right now and I’m too busy so I’m sorry for everything that happened,” even as everyone keeps pushing for the love square.

[mithliya]

Okay sorrh this is long I got a couple of receipts from sapphicdesi and don’t wanna send screenshots since I have social anxiety but the post genderistseku used was a bad one to call out sapphicdesi, but it doesn’t discredit all the hostile things she’s said about bisexual women

it’s nothing new, they all deeply hate lesbians. they refuse to admit they are homophobic oppressors and how homophobia and problemtic the bi community is. she has me blocked and so do many other of her deranged friends who have some osa victim complex / oppression fetish. they really act and speak like no other women experience misogyny.

(Bi women really aren’t it from an anon) they really aren’t. they’re the worst. rabid homophobic misogynistic narcs. who apparently spew the most racism here too. i’m gonna post all the asks / discussions i never did, they can keep harassing me. a bi tra or bi woman from radblr sent me such a racist yesterday i’m a post it when i wake up

(In response to an anon) but isn’t funny i’m called crazy and hateful for saying they aren’t oppressed nor victims for being into dick and men? im insane and evil for saying heterophobia isn’t real? and for being upset at how lesphobic and abusive they are? most bi women think lesbians need to be converted and raped by males. they are so deeply deeply narcissistic and fake feminists.

(In response to an anon talking about how they prefer straight normal friends above gender “queer” people) it’s also so fucked up because a lot of the gendies are actually heteros/bis. but you know bisexuals have always been homophobic and annoying. Even having no males and dick or threesomes w ur ugly bf in my bio im a lesbian, rejecting tras/tw got me banned on tinder bc of bis/trans/gendies. Always triggered white people.

(In response to an anon talking about a post where bi women claimed to like penis over vagina) oh my god ew no I never saw that can you link me? but that doesn’t surprise me at all, bi women don’t love women or respect women at all, only dick and treat lesbians like walking sex toys. they want us to be raped and used by dick so bad and then for themselves. straight women are more tolerable at this point, at least they aren’t pretending to like women. and it’s funny bi radfems think they’re any better or less homophobic. I’m so fucking sick of the homophobia everywhere, bisexual women hate lesbians/women so so fucking deeply I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with them, they’re fucking homophobic dick obsessed demons. of course lesbians to them are just their to lick their pussy and cuddle them, just for their boredom but real relationships and real sex? gotta be men and dick! and then they spew vile shit about lesbians all day long and how they love women more than us and are so gay. I hate them the same as trans males at this point. misogynistic homophobic demons who talk about dick like it’s water they’d die without. also if you’re an offended bi who’s gonna send me hate asks after this don’t bother just unfollow me and blog about how much you hate lesbians and how we oppress you for your love of men and dick.

bi women are fucking demons who don’t love women and hate women. especially lesbians who actually love women and only women. lmao apparently we’re not really lesbians if we don’t like straight men in dresses who fetishize us but they are lmao, like look at how they start listing their bs gender labels to showcase how they’re better for wanting to fuck everyone aka men w stupid labels. “all women” lmao het men in dresses ain’t women, trans “women” are evil lesbian fetishists and neither of you love women you’re homophobic creeps.

I just looked up bi on her account, there’s a lot lot more but I just used these since I don’t want this to be super long.

She doesn’t site things for most of(couldn’t find sources on her blog for any of these claims) this stuff and mainly uses her own experiences and others around her. I don’t doubt her experiences or her life exposure to hateful bisexuals but imo it doesn’t justify how hostile and hateful she’s being in return to bisexual. Im gonna cut it here since this s already long and I really already feel anxious about this

Sorry again for this

i agree genderistdeku should’ve used a different post if she wanted to illustrate a point and that her post choice was a bad one. to me it just came across as almost laughing at a lesbian for being abused by a bi woman. i understand that someone facing abuse at the hands of any type of minority doesn’t justify hating said minority, and i wholeheartedly agree there, but it just came across as malicious and like she’s laughing at sapphicdesi for what she experienced. i assume that wasn’t her goal or her intention, but that’s how it came across. based on the quotes you provided (i did not check to see their accuracy), there were clearly far better posts to choose from if her argument was that sapphicdesi is prejudiced against bi ppl.

for the first post you quoted, i agree the bi community is unfortunately deeply homophobic today. but i disagree bi ppl necessarily have an oppression fetish, many definitely are quite privileged and sheltered but many do in fact face a lot of shit for being bi. 2nd post, i think she has every right to criticise racism & homophobia, at the same time i think especially as woc & lesbians, we have to be very mindful about what we say and how we say it. i don’t think she genuinely hates bi women and i think she is simply hurt & traumatised, and to me it comes off like she’s very frustrated with the homophobia & other prejudices she sees spewed by many bi people. + im sure she’s very wary bc of what she experienced, and i can somewhat understand as i also faced abused at the hands of my ex who happens to be bi. but people don’t always know ur intentions from what u write on here and ppl often divorce your words from the context you wrote them in as well. for this reason i think we should be careful, and esp as woc we don’t get cut the same slack that others are.

for the rest, i get the vibe that she’s very frustrated by the homophobia she’s seen expressed on here and seemingly feels very betrayed by bi women. i don’t blame her bc i know many lesbians feel this way, and sometimes i feel frustrated and exhausted from the stuff i see on here too. or the homophobia i see irl. when it’s stuff online, sometimes i just log off and talk to someone who i can trust and know can understand me & where im coming from. i havent really properly talked about this before, but my previous relationship was with a bi woman (so was my relationship before that but that’s another story). and the entire time in our relationship, she’d tell me that one day she’ll leave me for a man. like she just… would straight up tell me that unprompted. she’d often ask me how id feel if she suddenly realised she was straight. and id usually say nothing or just say idk and she’d just keep pressing & asking until i eventually breakdown into tears. constantly telling me she wants a relationship thats “normal”, that her family will accept, that she wants to have a kid within the next year, that if she finds a man she likes she’ll leave me for him. another time some guy was hitting on one of us at a gay bar and she just… turns to me and makes out with me and then turns back to him, and gives him a look. idk why she did that or what her goal was but it made me deeply uncomfortable. but i said nothing bc i was scared of her and scared of losing her too. and on top of that she would physically, verbally, and most of all emotionally abuse me. this is stuff i kept to myself most of the time but at times people in my life would see how she was and beg me to leave her (and i refused and told them they simply didn’t understand). so speaking on a personal level, i get it. but i just tell myself that i don’t want to be anything like her, i don’t want to let how hateful she is change me. i make the conscious choice to be mindful and tell myself there’s many bi women (& men, tho idk many) out there who are completely decent and normal. who support gay people fully and truly. normal bi people. and im lucky to know a few, like my best friend who when she slept w a trans woman told me she thinks i won’t like it bc it’s like being w a man, or my bi cousin who’s 7 years younger than me yet came out at a younger age than me (she was 11 i think). they definitely exist and they are what prove me to everyday that shitty people are shitty independent of their sexuality. sorry for ranting but, yeah. i wish sapphicdesi well bc i can tell she’s hurting and i can empathise with what she’s going through. she and i talked about that before i believe and i know it’s really painful when someone you loved and trusted takes advantage of you and hurts you the way her ex hurt her. it also can really hurt when the women you expect to understand & support you most, are ones you see spewing homophobic rhetoric. i hope she heals from that. but ultimately people take our words at face value and won’t see that when she says “i hate bi women”, she doesn’t literally mean “i hate all bi women”. they’ll just take it literally without knowing where she’s coming from.

[torishasupremacy]

things ive done as ace attorney characters

phoenix wright: made a super elaborate birthday present for a childhood friend I hadn't spoken to in many years because I was overcome with yearning

maya fey: every time I eat a burger I eat it at a lightning speed and then mix mustard in my ketchup and dip my fries in it and all my friends call it metchup and they hate me for it

miles edgeworth: not being upset by things that should by all means upset me by saying I use logic and reasoning to decide my emotions when in reality im just repressing everything

mia fey: somehow convinced a horde of middle schoolers that I was a successful and balanced person despite the fact that my life is a mess. also, just having to be the responsible eldest child in general

simon blackquill: told my friend I might wear a trench coat to his poetry reading, and when he laughed at me and said not to I showed up in a giant black trench coat and black boots and intimidated the shit out of him

kay faraday: stole candy from the scariest teacher in middle school and when she caught on, I blamed it on some high schoolers and got away with it

diego armando: drank an absolutely MASSIVE smoothie because I was committed to finishing that bitch and ended up sick for the rest of the day

lotta hart: acted as my friend’s photographer at her birthday party because it was a pool party and I couldn’t swim bc of my period but I was too embarrassed to mention it

dick gumshoe: make terrible microwave mac and cheese using noodles you are most definitely not supposed to put in the microwave

larry butz: when a girl I liked said she’d always wanted to punch someone in the face, I immediately volunteered and then my other friend called me a bottom

apollo justice: spoke so loudly during my performance in a play a random old lady came up to me and thanked me for speaking loud enough for her to hear everything I said

kristoph gavin: I told my little brother that a clump of coffee grounds was a brownie and he bit into it. this is more going off of the fact that my brother is VERY similar to klavier, and I tell him this on a weekly basis

maggey byrde: has tripped and fallen onto the ground in front of my entire school multiple times

trucy wright: got a concussion and still went to school the next day because I had play rehearsal and im nothing if not a dedicated performer

thats all I got for now.

[aeligsido]

So I recently saw some posts about the new Batgirls title and how it’s possible that StephCass becomes canon in it. And I have some thoughts™️ about it, and StephCass in general. 

I’m going to start this by saying that yes, absolutely, I want representation. It’s super important, and I’m not mad that writers think about making it more canon (bc apparently it’s already canon in Future State, which, valid), and honestly, if there’s a wlw couple to make canon this one works very well. I’m also not here to destroy anyone's joy or anything, I just want to give my opinion about something that has been bothering me for a moment now. This ship, and the people who ship it, is very valid, and I totally understand why it’s popular and why people like it. 

That being said, this ship doesn’t spark joy for me. It’s a question of personal taste, I suppose, and there’s a few things that bother me that really have nothing to do with what I want to talk about today (not really, at least). 

It’s just that, as a Steph fan, I can’t help but feel like it’s a huge disservice to her character. She was created to be Tim’s love interest, then fridged when the writers realized she was becoming more popular than him, then brought back to life when they realized that people wanted her back. And sure, having her not being Tim’s love interest anymore and existing outside of it, choosing the person she will love herself, it’s amazing and totally something that should be done to get her further away from these origins. 

The problem for me is that Steph is still stuck having to be the love interest of one of the Batkids to exist -- both in fanon and in canon, apparently. With Tim and Cass for the most part, or sometimes Jason or even Damian -- and there’s no shame for anyone if you like these ships!! It’s totally valid, once again, and I’m not here to police what you should like or not. It just bothers me that Steph can only exist as a love interest, and no, the fact that she went from a boy to a girl is not really an improvement. Because at the end of the day, she’s still stuck as being nothing more than the girl who has to fall in love, and nothing more. 

And, again, as a Steph fan, it bothers me a whole lot. Like, for starters I can’t read a Steph-centric fic without it having TimSteph or StephCass, both ships that I don’t personally like, so it’s upsetting for me, but I also feel like it spits on the face of all the development she should go through. Steph is a strong young woman, who was raised in abuse, comes out from it, and chooses to be smiling and optimistic and to believe in a better future, even if she has to fight for it. She has her own personality and her own history, her own moral and her own belief, and it’s too often relegated to nothing so she can be the perfect girlfriend. 

Besides, Steph has proved herself a dozen times already. She shouldn’t have to be “the girlfriend” to be accepted into the Batfam. She shouldn’t have to be a love interest to be considered interesting and good enough for them. It’s forgetting, once again, everything she is, but also her other relationships. The fact that she’s Damian's big sister, and that she was the one who helped him being a kid. The fact that Dick did try to mentor her, as much as he could because back then he has his own very messy life, and then when he was Batman and she was Batgirl -- sure, he wasn’t okay for her to go out again at first, but you have to consider that his latest memories of her was probably her funerals and how yet again a kid died in his family colors, so, yeah. But he still accepted her and tried, and they could have an interesting relationship if anyone really tried to write them. She has an interesting relationship with Barbara as well, who was her mentor but who also was judgemental toward her at the beginning; with Bruce, whom relationship with her is extremely complicated, but I can’t help but feel like they would probably have been closer if Bruce hadn’t been lost in his grief and refusing to get his head out of his ass -- he did like Steph and recognize she was good, he was just too afraid to really do anything else than reject her; she has her relationship with Leslie, who sacrificed so much just for her; even in the new comics and the New52 that make me want to commit arson, Steph has a relationship with Duke, apparently friendly and/or sibling-like, and it should be explored more!!

But instead, once again, Steph is relegated to love interest. And it’s sad. It just makes me sad. She deserves so, so much more. 

AND, I’m absolutely not against Steph dating a girl. I’ve been hcing her as pansexual since I started in the DC fandom lmao. I just feel like Steph should have contact outside of the Batfam and Gotham. She should be a real part of Young Justice, or the Teen Titans. She should have friends outside of that one time with Kara (who has been used as “the super best friend” of almost every Batgirl, btw, so I don’t even feel like it’s special), have way more contacts, have way more people she could get to know and date and go out with and laugh and cry with and everything. 

Steph should be spreading her wings, but instead DC -- and, despite all, the fanon as well -- keeps her pinned to the ground. And it’s just very sad for me. 

(Steph wasn’t a Robin for nothing. You can debate a lot about why she was one, how she became one, but the point is the same -- she’s a Robin, and she’s meant to fly.)

(Tbh I also have a lot of things to say about how annoyed I am about Cass using the Orphan codename, how deaged they both are right now and how it destroys so much of their history, but that’s probably for another time lmao.)

So. Yeah. I’m not mad about DC plans -- or not -- to make StephCass canon, or whatever. I just don’t vibe with this ship, but again -- personal taste! I’m personally aware it’s only my opinion, but yeah, I just wanted to get it out. You’re all free to ship whatever you want, I’m not here to judge that!! 

And, again, as a huge Steph fan, it just makes me sad as a whole. She just deserves better than constantly being the love interest.

[dorkylittleweirdo]

the lesbian himbo solidarity post

okay so. basically this dude named max was in my anatomy class and we sat next to each other for the whole year so we had No Choice but to vibe

~

so he’s a Large football jock and i’m smol. we were both seniors tho and there were only three seniors in that class so we bonded over that. so he looks,, really scary tbh. like. ya know. the Exact type of person who would bully you and call you slurs. so i was like “oh god oh god oh god” every class bc i was like “this is it, this is the day i Die by his hand”

~

the first time we really vibed was when i came from culinary one friday bc i had culinary right before anatomy. and i had Cookies. a lot of them. and i had them in a little brown paper bag sitting right in the corner of my desk just bc like why not. cue max rolling up to class, throwing his stuff down and coming up Right Next To Me and Intensely eyeing the bag before going “hey jc, whatcha got there”. and i went “...cookies from my culinary class” and he just “👀👀” so i go “do you,, do you want one?”.  g r a b s  the bag while yelling “HELL YEAH” and really excitedly just eats a cookie and i just go “you can,, you can just take the bag if you want”. he obviously took the bag. we were Bros from that day on

~

i was Notorious for being the Class Nerd bc i loved anatomy and i had over 100% in the class. he was Not as into anatomy and just wanted to vibe and i feel that bc i had a class like that too, so i just gave him my notes and warm up answers to copy bc i’m Like That. we had like,, a system in place, so he would tell jokes or just say random shit and i’d kinda laugh and vibe while taking notes

~

one time i was kinda tired and staring off into space and he rolled up to class and goes “jcccc why are you saaaad :((” and i was like “i,, i’m not???” and he was like super confident that i was Going Through It and was like “you can’t lie to me, i already saw that sad face” i’m like “you mean my Normal Face???”. but so while i was taking notes that day, he leaned over and drew a lil happy face on my packet, so i looked over and smiled at him. aND NOT EVEN A MINUTE LATER, he leans back over and turns it into a dick. and i go “b r o  i gotta turn this shit in i’m gonna get in trouble?????” and he Panicked on my behalf, Stood Up in his seat,  Y E L L S  to the teacher “SIR, I DREW A  M A L E  G E N I T A L I A  ON JC’S NOTES, IT’S NOT HER FAULT”. teacher just Looks over at us, blinks, goes back to his lecture. my face is Red, max turns to me,  w i n k s, and goes “i gochu”

~

so my group Abandoned Me one day for a lab bc neither of them were there and i rolled up to the teacher like “k i’ll be Stabbing A Brain alone today” and my teacher’s like “but??? you need to Poke A Brain With A Group” and i go “but i have None Friends and my group mates aren’t here”. so max heard this whole interaction go down and is like “jc i Cannot Believe, you’re gonna group with us”. drags me over to some other people who sit near us that i anxiously vibe with, who had apparently been struggling to stab the labels into the brain for like seven minutes before i rolled up. max goes “okay guys jc’s in our group”. everyone’s hype. i labeled it, filled out the sheet, let everyone copy it, and all of us vibed for like half an hour

~

he was struggling to label to bones in the body for our warm up. two minutes in he goes “damn i know like,, four of these. jc how many do you know”, looks over at my worksheet, his eyes pop out of his damn skull. “JC ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS”. holds up my worksheet that’s completely filled out, points aggressively at it while looking at our teacher, “ARE YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT???”

~

straight up asked if i was a mom one time bc he said i give off “mom vibes”. his response to me not wanting kids was “really??? i want like six”. appreciated me saying “oh, well i want a career” a little too much bc he couldn’t stop laughing

~

a regular occurrence was me finishing a worksheet really fast and standing to turn it in, then max going “sit your ass back down, i needa see that” followed by “bro i appreciate you actually letting me copy your shit but Please write neater”. his handwriting was worse than mine and he could read my writing but he likes to Complain

~

another Regular Occurrence was me finishing a test in about five minutes followed by him yelling “JC ARE YOU  F U C K I N G  KIDDING ME”

~

i’d bring food from culinary a lot and he’d just go “👀” and i would just give it to him and he’d be so excited and go “jc you’re the best” while proceeding to shove a cupcake down his face or whatever else it was i brought while  M O A N I N G

~

he asked me one time why i’m so nervous around him, and he was probably expecting me to say some shit like “oh nooo i’m not i’m just Shy tm” but i Instantly responded with “bc you look like you’re gonna call me a slur in the 7/11″ and he was so genuinely upset and he goes “noooo jc D: i’m not a baseball boy” and i Died

~

some dude smacked him on the back of his head and he goes “OW MY-” looks at me, “hey jc, what’s the back of the head called again?” and i go “the occipital” and he’s like “great, thanks”, turns around again to the other dude, “MY  O C C I P I T A L”

~

“jc have you ever been depressed” “max i have depression” “sick, you should listen to this band”

~

he slowly tried to put something on my desk and i was still adjusting to “okay not everyone is gonna hit me” and thought he was trying to do like a fistbump or something. and he goes “oh no i wasn’t-” and i’m like “oKaY yEaH iT’S fiNe”, he puts whatever lil eraser on my desk then goes “NO NO, GIVE ME SOME JC” and fistbumped me but it still Haunts Me bc he Was Not Trying To Do That

~

“i’m gonna go as a cop for halloween” “...okay max” “all i have to do is wear a wifebeater shirt” “i-” “because. because ya know. cops beat their wives”

~

asked what kind of music i listen to once, and i went “uh,, it depends” he goes “what are you listening to now??” aND I HAD TO GO “um,, bruises and bitemarks” and he screeched bc whatever he was expecting from the shy quiet girl who sits next to him, it was Not That

~

so i wasn’t sure how to like,, come out but i have a bunch of gay pins on my backpack so i didn’t know if he knew or not. but then one time he just starts asking the people around him if they would kiss/date someone of the same gender. so i go “i mean,, yeah” and he goes “wait really” and i was Scared tm bc oh god here it comes. i go “yeah” he goes “full gay or like bi” and i was like “full,, full gay. i’m a lesbian” and he’s like “BROOOO THAT’S SICK :D” and he was so genuinely excited that i like girls

~

ever since he found out that i’m a lesbian, he would move his desk reeeeaaally close to mine to show me pictures of girls and be like “hey hey what do you think of her”, trying to invite me to parties so he could set me up with someone, attempting to be my wingman

~

he constantly shoved one of his earbuds into my ear so i could bop to his music with him. set his phone on my desk a few times so i could choose something and i go “oh no, i have garbage taste in music” and he goes “well i don’t, that’s why you’re choosing from my playlist” and i just Sat there like “wow okay but also that’s valid”. he shockingly had a few songs on there that i listen to, so we vibed to those. he listened to my playlists a couple times and he’d be like “most of these are either depressing, horny, or gay, and that sums you up pretty well” and i was Offended but he’s right

~

“hey jc, what’s the bone that sounds like my name” “...maxilla???” “fuck yeah, there’s a bone named after me”

~

asked me if i ever had a girlfriend before and i was like “n o  :((((” and he’s like “on god bro, you gonna get you some pussy”

~

every time he’d see me out of class, he point at me and wave really aggressively and be like “HI JC :D” and i’d kinda wave back really shyly while watching him tell whoever he was with that we were bros. after a couple times, i asked him next class why he waved at me and he’s like “why wouldn’t i??” and i go “um. bc you’re pretty popular and well liked and nobody knows i exist and i’m pretty uncool????” and he deadass is like “J C  NOO YOU’RE REALLY COOL WYM PEOPLE LIKE YOU” and that’s how i found out that people actually knew me bc a bunch of the football guys i talked to in anatomy would point me out when they saw me bc they liked vibing with me so that was A Time. made sense why random people would like,, nod at me while walking by

~

i brought cookies for my teachers and friends on valentine’s day and i gave max a couple and i was like “hey i’m giving these to all my friends so like here” and he just “jc you consider us friends???” and i thought he was gonna laugh at me and i just went “ah,,, yeah” and he was So Excited

[fishoutofcamelot]

Hi there! I hope you’re well. I just wanted to send a message to thank you for the elyan content 😍 he is my favourite knight but for some reason I never see much of him on tumblr! So it’s awesome to see him on your blog. I hope I didn’t bother you with this ask 🙈

I AM doing well, actually! And you didn’t bother me, asks will probably never bother me <3

I could go on for a million years about why no one makes content about Elyan - and sometimes forget he exists altogether - but I don’t wanna start drama so we’ll just. Not touch that topic with a 10-foot pole

BUT! Elyan IS a fantastic knight, and the fact that he is your favourite knight too is very iconic and sexy of you. Elyan fans/stans are the sexiest members of this fandom. That’s not even opinion, that’s just science

So! Here’s a list of Elyan headcanons, because he’s worth it:

Elyan is ace. Them’s the facts

He’s also gay but in that stage where he’s questioning if he might be bi. Unfortunately, he died before reaching an answer

I hate to talk about Hogwarts Houses in 2020, but he is one hell of a Hufflepuff. Elyan is his name and protecting his loved ones with life and limb is his game. It is very easy to earn his loyalty, and once you have he will ride straight through Hell for you

Elyan likes hoods. He wears hoods whenever he can (i mean c’mon, that outfit in season 3 was serving some killer looks)

He’s just a protective older brother to literally everyone in Camelot. Yes, even Gaius

Gwen, Elyan, Leon, and Merlin have family game night once every month. They all gather in their old house in the lower town to get drunk, play some dice games, and spend the whole night goofing off

Only a few people know about game night. Even fewer people have seen it with their own eyes. Arthur and Gwaine frequently try to sneak in to see game night for themselves, but somehow never succeed

Elyan loves swimming. They don’t get many chances for it, but whenever they do, Elyan is the best swimmer out of all the knights

He’s also like. Really good at sneaking up on people. Consistently rolls high on stealth checks

Out of everyone in the Round Table, Elyan is the most easily spooked. He hates it when they gather around the fire to tell ghost stories, bc he will NOT be able to sleep the rest of the night after that

Why do people think there’s no dynamic or chemistry between Elyan and Gwaine??? Those two had a SOLID friendship and I will not stand for this disrespect (also, Perelyan is good but Elyaine is godtier imo)

Elyan is bad at blacksmithing. Like really bad. No one even understands how that works, considering he spent his whole childhood training under his father. All the blacksmithing talent apparently went to Gwen somehow

He likes bugs. When he was a kid he would go out in the woods and collect beetles and stuff to stick in little terrarium jars. He’d even give them names and backstories and personalities. Sometimes he would sit under a tree and tell Gwen stories about all these adventures his bugs would go on when no one was looking

Leon HATED bugs, and got creeped out by them, which meant Elyan was legally obligated to harass him about it

Elyan doesn’t get much chance to catch bugs anymore, but he’s also the only member of the Round Table who can put up with spiders

Spider in the armory? Everyone is freaking out while Elyan just calmly picks it up and lets it outside - but not without lots of snark and eye-rolling, of course

The reason Elyan ran away from home was because his mother had died and he saw it as a personal failing. He felt that it was his fault she was dead, because he couldn’t protect her, and left Camelot because he couldn’t bear the shame of guilt

In the last few years of his time away from Camelot, Elyan fell in love and lived out an mlm cottagecore fantasy where he and his lover raised wyverns together. But when Morgause came to capture him, she killed his lover and burnt their wyvern farm to the ground

Elyan tries not to let his grief be known, though. Not just because he doesn’t want to burden Gwen with his pain, but also because his lover had magic and he could get arrested for having fallen in love with a sorcerer

Morgause had Elyan captive for a while before Gwen showed up. She even used the nathair on him in small increments; not long enough to kill him or damage him irreparably, but enough to make him suffer. It’s for this reason that Elyan was able to bounce back from being tortured by Morgana whereas Gwaine didn’t survive it, because Morgause had already microdosed him with that kind of pain two years ealier

Still traumatizing, though. Like. This boy is EXTREMELY traumatized, can someone please get him some therapy???

Moving back to Camelot with Gwen was simultaneously healing and harming. Healing, because  he visited his dad’s grave, rebuilt his relationship with Gwen, and his companionship with her, Merlin, and Leon helped him move on from the pain of his loss. But harming because of all the anti-magic prejudice that surrounded him, and every time someone said magic was evil it was like another dagger in his heart. That was his dead lover they were talking about and calling a monster. Someone who was kind and compassionate and funny, who didn’t have a lick of evil in them, who would have burned at the stake by Camelot’s laws

Elyan didn’t think about what it meant to be a knight of Camelot when he agreed to be knighted. But he was just so determined to fight and kill Morgause, the woman who had killed his lover and his wyverns and abducted him from his home, that he didn’t even think about it. He just wanted Morgause dead. It wasn’t until a few days later when he realized that being a knight of Camelot meant enforcing Camelot’s anti-magic laws, and this realization naturally caused him distress

Instead of abandoning his knighthood, Elyan found a compromise. He would support Arthur in everything, until magic got involved. If Arthur ever captured druids or put sorcerers to death, Elyan decided he would smuggle them out of the city. He would never actively kill or capture those with magic, and would sometimes even try to sabotage efforts in capturing harmless magic-users

Elyan knew full well what Dragoon was doing. He knew that Gwen and Arthur’s love was true and required no enchantment, meaning Dragoon had simply framed himself to get Gwen out of a jam. He appreciates Dragoon, and even though he supposedly killed Uther, Elyan can’t even fault him for that. Elyan wanted to kill Uther too

Merlin is the little brother Elyan always wanted, and Elyan is the older brother Merlin never had. They act so much like siblings it’s not even funny, and some people question if they were actually raised together 

He and Merlin like to team up and tease Gwen. They’ll walk behind her and chant stuff like “Gwen and Arthur sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”. They’re like children, and it’s both very funny and very annoying

Gwen gets her revenge, of course. She always gets her revenge

They also team up to be like. Super protective of Gwen. The vetting process Arthur had to go through - between Elyan, Leon, AND Merlin - in order to date Gwen was ridiculous

Arthur: Merlin I’m literally your boss. Your friend. You've been my personal manservant for like six years now

Merlin: Yeah, which means I know exactly how much of a dick you are

After being possessed by the druid ghost, Elyan is a lot more in tune with the supernatural

Am I suggesting that Elyan can now see, talk to, and interact with ghosts, and even starts a little agency where he goes around helping them complete their unfinished business? Why yes, yes I am

When Gwen was banished, Elyan wanted to go with her. But she asked him to stay behind and keep an eye on Agravaine, as she suspected him of treachery, and to stop him from taking over Camelot should Agravaine make a move. And, well, Elyan has never been able to say no to his sister

Elyan and Merlin decided to try and find a way to prove Gwen’s innocence. There’s no way she was acting of her own accord, after all. There was some kind of enchantment at play, there had to be. Merlin doesn’t tell him about Shade!Lancelot directly, but does propose it as a theory regarding how Lancelot had come back from the dead. Elyan supports the theory 100%

About two months after the wedding, Merlin and Elyan locate the enchanted bracelet, and Gwen and Lancelot’s names are finally cleared

In Avalon, Elyan, Freya, and Lancelot spend the whole time watching/narrating the events of season 5 like sports commentators. They are all mutually exasperated at Merlin’s antics

When Arthur shows up in Avalon, the only reason Elyan doesn’t punch him in the face is because he’s too busy restraining Lance from doing the same

He does, however, give him a strong talking-to about how “all your magic and you still can’t save my life” is a horrible thing to say actually

Lancelot, however, is more upset about the “I guess I was wrong” speech

Gwaine shows up in Avalon like. SUPER traumatized. He died while being tortured by a nathair, died in a way that he perceived to be failure, and he’s kinda messed up because of that. Elyan, who has already had a few years to cope with nathair torture, is the one who helps Gwaine heal from his trauma

In the 21st century, Elyan gets reincarnated along with everyone else. His childhood is plagued with weird dreams, dreams that terrify him. Snakes and pain, wyverns and fire, all of it. He meets an old man who calls himself Merlin, who helps Elyan through the pain of remembering his past life. For once, Elyan gets to be taken care of instead of the other way around. For once, he is allowed to be vulnerable and weak and struggling. He doesn’t hide his tears. He gets the help he needs and works through his trauma

And one day, many years later, he is walking down the street when he sees someone who looks oddly familiar. The face of an old lover, perhaps

Thanks for the ask! <3

[ribcage-rodents]

How Iris first had an inkling that Wally had a crush on Dick. Ok so like, bc Star and Gotham are absolutely horrifying during Halloween, Barry is like “I’ll patrol then Iris will take the babies trick or teating”

Originally Wally is really upset bc he wants to go patrolling w his uncle but once he finds out that he gets to hang out w the other hero’s he’s psyched.

So Wally is like 12-13 and dresses up as the flash naturally. Roy is like 14-15 and he’s totally too old for Halloween and over it bc he’s super angsty, and dresses up as like Jason form Friday the thirteenth or some shit bc Black Canary forces him to. Robin only ever celebrated Halloween during his circus days when everyone would paint their face scary and flying Graysons would do aerial ballet show w black fabric so it was like spiders but after that it was just horrifying.

Anyway so Barry picked up this tiny Batman costume and Iris was like “Barry hon, isn’t he like 10? Shouldn’t you get him a bigger outfit?” (He two years younger than Wally, and four younger than Roy) And Barry is like “no trust me babe he teeny”.

Batman shows up to their house followed by a tinsity winsty baby tiny Batman bc Barry ran it over b/f patrol. And wow is that cute. Tiny baby Batman is basically glued to Batman’s side, his teeny little head coming up to Batman’s lower thigh, last time Iris checked 10-year olds aren’t supposed to be that tiny but wow is it adorable. (I’m sorry I just love teeny baby Dickie& giant looming built-like-a-tank batdaddy)

Barry told her what Batman had already explained. That Robin is foreign and doesn’t really know a lot of holiday stuff and also has been severely traumatized the past couple of years and doesn’t really like strangers and knows better than to take anything from strangers.

So it’s obvious that Robin would rather be tied up and drugged w fear gas than in a family aquatintence’s home about to go trick or treating. And Iris is a little resentful of the other boys, hard as she try to be understanding, bc Wally looks so disappointed bc he just wants to have friends and these guys don’t want to have fun.

Anyway Roy is kinda warming up to the whole trick or treating thing but sometimes he can be really mean to Wally but maybe Iris is just overprotective of her boy. Iris takes several pictures during the entire night despite both Batmans being adamant about no photos.

Robin refuses to go up to any house but Iris doesn’t comment on it. She doesn’t want to alienate him, so she doesn’t say anything. She goes up and grabs him a peice of candy but he disappears into the night. She panics for a good couple of seconds but calms when tiny Batman shows up next to Wally and Roy.

She doesn’t try again after that. He likes to walk at the back of the group and every time Iris tries to keep an eye on him, bc he may be a trained hero but central isn’t as safe as smallsville and her parental instincts are going off. Every couple of blocks Wally will try to walk next to him and talk and it’ll work for a while then Robin will slow down and fall behind and Wally’s angelic little baby face gets so sad.

As their trip comes to an end Iris can see Robin wrapping the cape around him tightly w his eyes screwed shut and it breaks her heart a little bc this poor boy must be so uncomfortable and scared that he’s trying to imitate the feeling of his mentors hug. It’s a jarring to imagine Batman hugging anything but she supposes that a baby as cute as that must make even the dark knight just wanna squeeze his sweet rosy, chubby cheeks. She reaches out to place a hand on his head, bc he’s too short to comfortably put a hand on his shoulder.

He jerks back immediately and death glares her, his anger showing full force through the white eyelets. She sent him an apologetic smile and he seemed to unbistle a smidgen.

Once they were finally home Iris watched them from behind the kitchen counter. Wally and Roy were digging into the candy while Robin perched on top of the couch. He kept scratching at his arm, Barry said that it was fine as long as it was controlled. Apparently the poor baby had a pretty serious anxiety disorder and tended to scratch to make himself feel better, it was ok as long as he didn’t have an attack.

She tossed him the single candy across the room, he caught it swiftly in his tiny baby hand. (So cute) Wally shot up to his feet. “That’s not one of my candies right?” Iris smiled, her prefect gluttonous boy. “Nope it’s from your uncles,” it was lie but it didn’t harm anyone. “That’s my backup candy!” Wally cried racing towards the door and snatching up handfuls of candy from the trick or treater bowl. Iris pretend to scold him for being stingy.

Robin slowly unwrapped the candy then examined it breaking off a piece and finally eating the snickers. His eyelets widened comically and he chewed slowly staring down at the candy before shoving the entire (not that fun size is really that big) thing in his mouth. It was absolutely adorable! She wished she had take a video and wondered if this was his first ever candy. (Dick usually just ate cotton candy as a kid, he hadn’t discover cereal yet. But since his parents died he hasn’t had real sugar, Alfred has strict hold on anything sweet in the house and Robin was deemed too energetic already.)

Apparently Wally agreed bc his mouth was wide open and his face was a blotchy-red color. His eyes were filled w what Iris could only discribe as adoration.

Wally swallowed then stood up again. His arms filled w sweets. “Here you can have my candy!” Wally all but shouted at the other boy, he paused for a second looking at his arms, “or we could share,” he suggested instead.

That’s what got Iris, even before his flash experiment Wally has never shared food, not even w his uncle. But here he was offering up some to a boy he hardly knows bc he thinks it’s cute when he eats candy. God she might cry.

Robin smiled at Wally. A real smile, the first one she’s seen all night. “You could still have it all if you wanted!” Wally said again his face turning a couple shades darker and thrusting the candy at robin, who artfully avoided his touch.

“We can share, don’t speedsters need extra calories?” Wally nodded and then proceeded to gather up the rest of the candy scattered on the floor. It was then that Iris noticed that Roy and dipped.

She was slightly panicked. Roy could probably fight for himself but he’s still a baby, a baby that Iris was in charge of. She hurriedly pulled out some blankets and turned on the tv for the boys while she dialed Barry who called Ollie. In a strange turn of events Ollie actually apologized to Iris, saying quote, “Roy’s a little jack-ass of course he snuck off. Don’t worry I’ll find him, probably screwed off to get drunk at some highschool party. Thanks for watching him while you could, I honestly expected him to scurry off a lot sooner.”

It didn’t exactly ease the tension in Iris’ chest but watching those two babies sitting on the couch pass candy back forth watching Charlie Brown specials made her feel a lot better. They were on opposite sides of the couch and Iris could see Wally’s little fingers twitching by his legs, he got up to go to the bathroom and came back only to really casually sit right next to Robin, like basically on his lap.

Robin wiggled up onto the arm of the couch.

“Ok so this ones a Milky Way,” Wally said passing the treat up to Robin.

He popped it in his mouth and chewed. “What’s the difference between this one and the snickers?” He asked, Iris was a little surprised by how good Robins accent was, he spoke like a natural English speaker, which he wasn’t. Every once in a while he’d use a word wrong or mispronounce something, a lit of something would catch on what he was saying but his American accent was pretty flawless.

“Snickers have peanuts, milky ways don’t,” Wally supplied in a duh voice. Robin smiled, “golly, you sure know a bunch about candies. You must be really smart!” And isn’t that so cute! Everyone treats the speedsters like idiots just bc they’re dense but here Robin is picking up on the hidden intelligence like a Batman should. Wally puffed his chest out all proud his face was still all red like a patchy strawberry.

A couple hours passed when Batman showed up. Wearing a different not soaked in fear gas costume, both Iris and Wally were sad to see robin go, well Wally was more devastated. The minute Batman stepped through the front door Robin was disappearing underneath his cape, according to Barry Robin doesn’t like to be more than 3cm from Batman at all times.

“Maybe we can hang out more!” Wally called his blush finally fading. A chipper ok sounded from somewhere in Batman’s cape, (Wally’s face turned scarlet in an instant) at the same time Batman gruffed out a no. Wally’s perfect baby face fell, Batman and Robin left. “Hey don’t worry kiddo I’ll talk to him!” Wally gave a half-hearted smile then went back to his candy eating.

Later he was engrossed in a discussion of patrol w his uncle while they both ate most of central’s candy supply.

As Barry and Iris got ready for bed an hour or so later she turned to him w a mischievous smile. “So it’s seems like Wally’s got his first real crush!” She sing-songed. Barry looked at her confused a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. “Who?” “Robin” she responded. “That’s doesn’t make any sense!” She signed, somethings speedsters really were dense.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: True Might

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  Powers don't make the hero - passion does. Luckily for Izuku and Toshinori, this is something the quirkless have in droves.

AKA: All Might is a quirkless vigilante, One for All isn't a quirk that exists and 1A gets a whole 3-week buffer before villain's start kicking their face in as opposed to the 3 days of canon.

Basically: Quirkless!Vigilante!All Might and Quirkless!Successor!(gen ed) UA Student!Midoriya. It’s a riot.

Yagi is stupid strong, his only form in this AU is basically Muscle Form from canon, but he’s a little less ridiculously cut. Not quite chubby, but huggable. This is mostly because he A, isn’t a celebrity that needs to have a marketable image and B, he really likes carbs.

He’s not exactly a vigilante by choice, in his day and age quirkless kids weren’t permitted to apply to UA, either gen ed or heroics. When Nezu got the job, that all changed, but it was a solid decade too late for Yagi.

He’s admittedly a little bitter about it, but he refuses to do anything but his best. He might be a little snippier with Pros than he really needs to be but oh well.

Katsuki and Izuku are utterly enamoured with this crazy vigilante that just doesn’t lose, refuses to back down from a fight even when he’s outmatched, and somehow coming out victorious anyway, rescuing everyone. They have a tense relationship, but often find time to get together and just ramble about how cool All Might is, share theories and dissect his fights. It’s not uncommon for Katsuki to have been hurling abuse at Izuku during class, only to show up at his house after school with a backpack full of snacks and a notebook full of questions.

Izuku knows most of what Katsuki does is to keep his status in the school. If he showed pity to a dumb quirkless runt he’d be painted with the same brush. This doesn’t make what Katsuki has done right! Only Izuku doesn’t blame him because he’s way too forgiving.

Izuku is the smartest person Katsuki knows and vice versa – they are each other’s measuring stick. Katsuki shows Izuku bravery, Izuku shows Katsuki determination.

Episode 1 goes as it does but you see a real flash of regret when Katsuki tells Izuku to jump off a roof because they are kinda-sorta friends. Izuku looks so betrayed. We meet the slime villain like before, All Might saves Izuku and 100% doesn’t expect the kid to fanboy about him and ask for two autographs – one made out to a “Kacchan”.

“Can someone quirkless be a hero?” “The whole world will be against you. Most places won't even give you a shot – no matter how good you are. You’re better off picking something else.”

Izuku is crushed but he does understand. All Might leaves and Izuku trails off kinda hopelessly. He follows the sounds of explosions without meaning to.

It’s Katsuki! He’s dying! Like usual at this point lmao. Izuku rushes in much like canon, All Might shows up, pulls Katsuki free and slams a dumpster on the slime villains head before making a speedy getaway. The police rip into Izuku but Katsuki actually defends him. “You were doing fuck all while I fucking died – don’t knock the only asshole who tried.” Izuku quietly slips him the autograph before running off the scene. Katsuki cries because Izuku got that for him even after he was such a fucking bastard that day? He can’t bring himself to be a dick to Izuku again, even only for show.

All Might finds Izuku and he's like “Sorry I was an ass I was being a dick because I had low self-esteem – I’m quirkless. If you’ll have me I’ll make you into the best hero the world had ever seen

Izuku, obviously, says yes please!

Also, hypermobile Izuku with joint braces as support gear because just let me project please my arms are killing me ( I wrote this a while ago and yes. My arms are still killing me - yes even now). He gets them after All Might sees him miss a dodge because his ankles rolled beneath him. They support his joints beyond the normal range of strength, letting him do some crazy pivots and handsprings, making it easy to support all his weight on a single-arm with very little strain. They can also lock in place, lessening muscle fatigue if he needs to hold onto something for ages and preventing injury if he’s pushing against something. Produced by David and Melissa Shield and imported through Nighteye Heroics.

Is support gear illegal for civilians to own? Yes! But medical equipment isn’t so if you can just convince people its medical not support you can get away with a lot.

Yagi has no weapons himself, other than the random shit he picks up and swings at people, and has little support gear other than a communicator, panic button, and a whole lot of zip-ties.

Izuku should probably have weapons but I’m struggling to think of anything other than war fans because how cool would that look? Because Shonen they would also have the ability to create powerful downdrafts that would give a boost to a jump or dodge.

Probably doesn’t get them until later and needs to train with them.

In this AU, One for All isn’t a quirk. Rather, it’s a role, passed from quirkless person to quirkless person, the only people who can’t be hard countered by All for One. They tend to be vigilantes, crime lords or hero managers, doing their part to foil as much of All for One’s plans as they can, through whatever means necessary.

It’s a role with a pretty high fatality rate.

No one knows All Might is quirkless other than those close to him, they instead think he has a strength quirk. He’s the most prolific vigilante in Japan and is almost as much of a household name as canon All Might. More divisive though, with most people decrying his vigilante status when he could ‘easily make a respectable hero’. He’s also pretty brutal with his takedowns of some villains, leading a lot of people to call him an unregulated brute. Still more call him a villain which, legally he would be - were he using a quirk.

Nighteye is his contact in the heroics industry, gives him loads of inside info that’s typically not something he should be passing on. He’s still close with David Shield. Nighteye imports any costume parts he needs from David and leaves them at various pickup points for Yagi.

He went to college with David in America after Nana died; America having a quirk blind admission process helped - but he’d have gotten shit talked a lot if people didn’t just assume he had a strength quirk. Dude was and is crazy big.

David was one of the only people that knew he was quirkless

OH FOR FUN; Nighteye was also going to this American college and that’s where he met All Might. The three of them became the world’s strangest group of friends and may have lowkey done some slightly illegal vigilante work around the campus and surrounding town. They had a reputation for getting no sleep ever and being the most mismatched set of people

Secretly Smart Jock, Business Man with a Touch of E-boy, Science Hipster. They all tumbled into class together with varying levels of alive-ness. Nighteye and David were very much not morning people.

UA! It’s a ride. Izuku fails the practical but he’s not shocked – he was prepared for this.

He actually got like 30 hero points? But they refused to admit him on hero points alone due to his ‘deficiencies’. They don’t exactly tell Izuku this but Aizawa was there and he was furious.

Gets into 1C with Shinsou, Shinsou fuckin hates him on sight for reasons best known to him (It’s bc he was so god damned cheerful he just – assumed Izuku had a quirk. I love Shinsou but he’s more than a little judgemental). Izuku is like smiling through the pain because he just wanted to make a friend his age – Katsuki barely counts.

He sits with him at lunch and makes friends-ish with the hero kids who dragged Katsuki along, meets Ochaco again. She’s upset he didn’t get in – especially after he tells her he apparently got 30 points. The whole table gets mad on his behalf and hes embarrassed and happy.

Like day 2 he’s leaving gym and someone is like “Oh LMAO it’s Deku – he was in the year below me at Aldera. Only fuckin quirkless kid in the whole school; can’t believe he got into UA.” He turns to Izuku. “Who’s dick did you suck to get in you - ?” And Shinsou just decks him. He grabs Izuku – who is super confused fyi – and s p r i n t s. They have to stop after a while because hes having a panic attack and Shinsou doesn’t know what the fuck to do and he’s mad and upset and the sunshine boy is sobbing –

Aizawa shows up, having seen the (end of the) altercation and is ready to expel some gen ed kids he can’t legally expel – until he sees the two kids from the entrance exam he was interested in – including the quirkless kid who should have gotten in. Well he’s much more willing to hear them out.

100% requests expulsion on those 2 2E kids because that’s Discrimination and they should know better as second years. Nezu grants it because those 2 were di ck s

No USJ because no All Might – stuff like that will come,,, later : )

Sports Fest! Izuku and Shinsou kick ass, Aizawa is Watching. All Might may have gotten in as a crowd member with Nighteye and a visiting David and Melissa and they are cheering on their sun son. Also, Nighteye is going to go cheer on Mirio so he just got a pass to attend all 3 days of the sports festival. He’s just buying snacks on the second day because he’s never talked to one of the second years in his life.

Shinsou and Izuku make it to the tournament. Izuku has been training pretty seriously with All Might for a while now and hes a very good fighty boy. Makes it to the 3rd round of the tournament where he loses to Iida. Shinsou makes it second where he loses to Katsuki. Izuku is like “Iida might you be Ingenium’s brother or something?” “Yes, I am!” “OH MY GOD I LOVE INGENIUM ISN’T HE THE COOLEST” “YES MY BROTHER IS AMAZING” Shinsou is just watching while faintly amused.

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)

a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.

jimmy page 

james patrick page 

born on January 9, 1944 

he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker 

was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him 

went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess 

if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’

declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join 

was the last member to leave the group

basically was the leader of led zeppelin 

was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it 

and he painted a cool dragon design on it 

played on it for the first led zeppelin album 

when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar 

he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums 

paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money

deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies 

but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with

one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it 

has such a small and soft voice 

was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work

would collect crowely memorabilia 

even bought crowley’s boleskine house 

had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier 

struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies 

went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food 

he got really skinny bc of it :( 

miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo

once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class 

allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old 

laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other 

was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image

has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr

deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties 

we love demons 

zoso

he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad

had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.  

has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor

deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that 

has been through a lot and come out pretty okay

produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl 

check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing

would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion 

robert plant

robert anthony plant 

born on august 20, 1948

this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me. 

nicknamed percy 

wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer 

jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”

jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet 

after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer 

he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”

he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it 

convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies 

he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract 

started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory 

it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage 

once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands 

there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy 

he would call himself a greek god 

would party with john bonham a lot 

kind of the hippy of the group 

moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone 

would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them 

nurses do it better 

not to mention his super tight jeans 

we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off 

has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair 

and the sweetest smile 

can you tell that i find him attractive yet?

has a fear of earthquakes 

also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)

also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays 

either fear or amnesia 

it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion 

though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it 

robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him

and i respect that a lot 

no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time

in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair 

still went on to record zeppelin’s album 

once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before

his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour

absolutely crushed him 

was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life 

john bonham was there for him though 

robert apparently never forgave them for that 

a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well 

late seventies was not a good time for robert plant 

but he got through it all like a champ

hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao  

one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again 

almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all 

he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song 

he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle 

in 2007 he won beard of the year 

john bonham

john bonham 

born on may 31, 1948

nickname is bonzo

oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo 

he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever 

unless he was drunk 

he drank a lot :/

denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him 

once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to 

hated touring so much 

he always missed his family 

so he drank 

he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them

tore about his hotel rooms like no other 

he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot 

bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger 

jason is just about led zeppelin��s biggest fan next to jimmy page 

one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk

also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him 

partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager 

liked cars a lot 

really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough

was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't 

punched robert in the face once too 

him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever 

jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along 

bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him 

he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)

was there for robert when karac died 

they were really good friends 

there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm 

gave good hugs apparently 

played drums like no other could and knew he was good 

but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special 

his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his 

he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)

he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep 

led zeppelin died on the same day 

nobody can replace john bonham 

his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out

john paul jones

 john richard baldwin 

born on january 3, 1946

nickname is jonesy 

was also a session guitarist like jimmy 

they had worked together before 

when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately 

not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist 

and could play the recorder 

insanely talented. put some respect on his name 

he talks in italics i swear to god 

i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life 

deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other

he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies 

pissed peter grant off so much lmao 

wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh 

but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band 

jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion 

or they use to 

when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!”  and laughed 

was pretty much left out of the live aid show 

he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard 

“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones 

he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead 

it’s sad to think about

is actually quite funny

he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content 

when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat

managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?

has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol

that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes​ bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3

[yaraaflor]

how i think a dickroy wedding would go:

for a long time after they settle down together they’re not married. roy doesnt believe in the institution of marriage and refuses to participate. dick is secretly disappointed but he would never want to push roy into something roy doesnt want, and he knows they dont need a piece of paper to prove their commitment to one another. 

but fast forward a couple years, one of their kids, lian or mar’i (probably lian bc she spent most of her life wanting her daddy to find a life partner and be happy) is like “so when are you gonna get married? i wanna be a flower girl!!” (even though lian’s been a flower girl in like, 4 weddings already). and roy is like shit. should we get married? and dick cant hide his pure joy at being asked that question and roy is like double shit. have you been wanting to get married this whole time and im holding you back from your dreams?? alright guess were getting married!

at first they agree that its gonna be a small wedding, just family and close friends, no fuss. but their families are huge. and then they sit down to start writing the guest list and its like wait we cant leave so-and-so out and dont forget about so-and-so until the list is like three hundred people and theyre like. shit. were both too popular for our own good so we have to invite the entire superhero community.

huge wedding means mucho cash so bruce swoops in and is like we can host the wedding at the manor?? i can hire planners etc? and dick is like. fine with it bc he knows its bruces way of showing he loves them and that he accepts roy is part of the family now. but bruce is definitely gonna be a mother-of-the-bride-zilla lmao. originally roy wanted nothing to do with wedding planning except for picking the cake, but when he finds out that bruce wayne, control freak extraordinaire, is taking over the plans hes like oh HELL no. and promptly enlists dinah and ollie to also help plan the wedding. 90% of the wedding “planning” turns into roy and bruce arguing about every minute detail while the poor wedding planner tries to play referee and dick is off with lian like “lets go pick out your dress sweetie!” while also solving cases and generally burning the stick at both ends up until 2 days before the wedding.

they try to have separate “bachelor” parties on the same night and roy goes to a strip club but hes actually bored by it and the separate parties all end up together at donna and kory’s apartment at the end of the night and dick gets too drunk so he and roy sleep on their couch, piled on top of each other. they consider a honeymoon but roy doesnt want to leave the kids that long and theyre playing with fate anyway by hope an alien invasion doesnt happen on the day of the wedding, so they figure the honeymoon can come a few years from now.

the day of the wedding arrives and roy is surprisingly chilled out, just like oh, well, guess whatever happens will happen! we planned as best we could! while dick, predictably, has a panic attack about whether hes trapping roy and ruining his life and blah blah blah. eventually he calms down and the actual ceremony goes pretty well. connor is roy’s best man and donna is dick’s. lian (and maybe mar’i) is INDEED the flower girl and she enjoys it immensely. cerdian is the ring bearer. they have a justice of the peace preside so its actually super quick. ollie cries. clark cries. half of the room is crying actually. bruce doesnt cry but jason swears he saw a tear or two in his eye.

the reception is the best part. diana brings themysciran wine so most of the metas can actually get drunk. people give speeches and there is more crying, even during damian’s. donna is taking pictures nonstop despite the fact that bruce hired a photographer (hers are better anyway). they party from the afternoon into late in the night bc everyone is having such a good time. clark leaves to save a sinking boat at one point but no ones upset. bruce sneaks out to patrol gotham for an hour and everyones upset. alfred yells at him. the titans coordinate a group sort of performance telling the story of dick and roy’s love. its mostly wally speeding back and forth pretending to be them having a conversation about how much they love each other. as everyone gets progressively drunker, they start telling more stories that they shouldnt be bc roy and dick invited their like 2 non-super friends too lmao. 

it starts raining at like midnight so everyone leaves (its a miracle the rain waited so long bc its gotham). dick and roy say their goodbyes and head off to their hotel suite in the city (roy refused to spend one more minute near bruce). as soon as they get there they collapse from exhaustion and spend most of the next day nursing hangovers. then they end up patrolling that night bc dick is obsessive and roy loves him despite that lmao. its a wonderful time and roy never once regrets giving in to the institution of marriage.

[mydarling-suggestions]

Ok so I sent my last one in on 12-21 and this one is being sent 12-22(his birthday). I'm not quite sure how much I said before but whatever imma just go for the events of the last couple of days. Not asking advice, just updating since you've been helping me :)

Yesterday, I texted him asking him if he was doing anything for his birthday today because one of our friends was trying to plan something for his birthday and he told me that his mom was probably planning something out, he couldn't do anything today for sure. So I asked him to go to birthday dinner, wherever he wants, and I'll pay and he said that he (a now 20yo man) was being forced to go to a church event to meet people by his mom (which after 5 years knowing them, I'm not actually sure she would do that) but at that point I was like "whatever, kinda sad but its fine". So today I said happy birthday at 8am, he responded with thanks nearly 3 hours later and then didnt say anything until I asked him if he was doing stuff with his family still, which he said yes, and so an hour or two later I texted him telling him I was bringing his christmas/birthday present (a 50$ blanket that I made by hand out of my own sparse funds because I'm in college), showed up, his mom was surprised and said that he walked downstairs with another friend not too long ago (which remember he said he for sure could not have people over today) so I headed downstairs and found him and one of our friends checking out video games and such and when I handed him the present, he just looked at it and went "so it's just a blanket?" To which my snarky, already kinda upset ass replied, "yeah. And I made it." To which he got googly eyed and looked embarrassed for acting like that in front of our friend, who is also recieving a handmade gift and both received handmade gifts in the past numerous times and know that that's my thing. Our friend just kinda looked at him like "uh.. duh its handmade dumbass?? You've known her for 5 years and didn't know it'd be handmade??" And then went back to looking at games. BEFORE THIS LAST PART: this friend that was in the room was not supposed to know that we were dating as to not hurt his feelings/keep another friend who's a little too obsessed with bf from knowing. ANYWAY so he gets up and just kinda gives me this awkward smile and a light hug, like one of your guy best friends in middle school were trying to console you on your first period or something, and then kisses me in front of this friend who isn't supposed to know. So I left, went to a nearby park and cried bc 1. If he wanted to just spend some time with this one friend, he should have and could have just told me and i would've been fine and he knows that bc weve both done it before and been fine. 2. The attitude that came with receiving his present? I mean I get just not using it or donating it once the persons gone but straight up "it's just a blanket?" To my face?? 3. If he told the friend we were dating, I would've liked to had known so I didnt feel wierd recieving a present and not being able to talk to him about it and having to watch what's coming out of my mouth. 4. Why is he seemingly avoiding me???

Now that I'm done with that, with what you said in the last reply about talking to him, I do plan on it. I was going to over dinner, but since it was his birthday it didnt feel right so I'm going to wait a bit. I'm honestly hoping this doesn't go on much longer and it fixes soon bc the last time I was in a situation like this was bc I wasnt giving the guy what he wanted and so he cheated on me, then tried to pin the blame on me and play victim so I would break up with him and it wouldn't be his fault to his parents (I most def made him take responsibility) but I dont want anything like that happening again (though I doubt the cheating part would happen since hes super antisocial)

Thanks for listening folks

Okay so, I talked to him and told him he needed to communicate with me because he said he was having problems and I told him he needed to talk to me about those things and not just ignore me, and he told me yesterday (new years eve) he wanted to talk to me bc I was right, he needed to communicate and we went to a park and he talked for a bit, said he wasnt sure he wanted to finish bc he didnt want me to be mad or shattered or anything, I reassured him and he broke up with me. I took him home, we joked for a min before he got out and he said "see you around" when he got out so we're still cool and friends so I'm pretty happy with the situation all in all. I wanted him to break up with me last night if at all so that I could go into the new year and just let it go since I kinda knew that things would be ending a while ago anyway.

i know this is late im sorry i was working on my mental health yet again 🥺

for the first part, excuse my french but what a dick... i always do homemade gifts so i know how that is, but "just a blanket" that would crush me...i would have been so upset.

for the second part, the ending shattered my heart because it sucks to know the relationship is ending, however im glad it ended on okay terms... i wish you all the luck in the world and if you ever just want someone to talk to im here, ive dropped my @ multiple times including once tonight, if you ever do feel so inclined to message me i would gladly talk to you for a bit!

p.s. happy new year i love you toooo!