#i was starting to worry i may be late | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spkyart · 11 months ago

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My xmas gift for yall 🎁🎄

Happy new yeast ♥️

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tomaturtles · 6 months ago

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Got inspired by this and had to

#shinji ikari #kaworu nagisa #kawoshin #neon genesis evangelion #nge #toma draws #managed to set up my art stuff in the place we're staying at and immediately used it for evil #love how after kawoshin week i was like 'yay i can finally get to non kawoshin wips ^_^' only for it to be the first thing i draw after 😭#in my defense i also didn't get around to drawing for a while and kawoshin kept me going during the fuckass flood situation in my state #(i'm doing ok btw :3👍we have a nice place to stay while we wait it out and our house seems to be mostly water free despite water around it)#btw i forget if i mentioned it but i started posting art on twitter for kawoshin week and ended up sticking around after #so i'm also there now :] (i'm tomaturtles there too)#worry not though.... i may have been quiet on here lately but tumblr is still my house

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lighthouseshepard · 3 months ago

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feels like. most of the past few months have just been me waiting in drs offices alone hoping for answers or a solution that will stick. and it sucks

#currently waiting to discuss the anxiety medication ive been on lately oh and also tmi warning cnencnnfn regarding My Brain #sorry ur all getting too much insight into my dumb stupid molecules probably #i just want to not feel like garbage all the time #and anxious and like im dying #and advocating for your own mental health is so hard #bc i KNOW this shit isn't working #it's been 3 months #and i feel only vaguely improved #but still bad overall #plus i keep losing weight bc i have no appetite #down like uhhh 35 lbs i think since this all started in may #and im always worried these ppl and doctors think im like #asking for a magic pill to fix everything but thats not the case at all #its not for lack of trying its brain chemistry and i know it is bc ive struggled with it my entire life #anways #hope i can get these thoughts across to the dr without like barfing #im so nervous im nauseous #i just wanna wake up and not have my chest hurt from the panic #tbd

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a-very-fond-farewell · 5 months ago

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it was tendOnitis all along???? travesty

#I thought it was spelled ‘tendinitis’??#me is a fool??#no it made sense bc in my language there’s definitely an ‘i’ ther but like #*there #come on mate #D:#I’ve resorted to look up my symptoms online yes why do you ask #4 months of pain should be plenty imho #moreover. I have receipts some lovely comments on my fic :) and I want to reply to them soon :D #*received #but I’m currently typing this with my left as I strapped (no pun intended) a frozen peas bag to my right arm at 6am on this merry Sunday #this does look pretty grim my dudes. ngl #anyway.#I hope everyone is having a good time #and if not.. I’m sending you the goodest of luck #imagine a golden retriever bringing luck to you in a picnic basket as we speak #that’s the luck you deserve peeps #I’ve typed (and I must stress this. with my LEFT index finger. like a boomer) enough for the day #I’ve been awake since 4am to get a good start with ch25 and boy howdy did SDY got scared for a minute there in this chapter 👀#*get #ok I’m done #I’m rather delirious at this point. sorry about that. the pain is real #to my lovely m00ts: I may be late to the game but I will answer your messages and comments. done you worry #*don’t you worry #if anything lemme know if I can be of help with anything on your end D:#mutuals of the same feather as they say..#ok. Niki out P:#sneaky niki

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winepresswrath · 2 years ago

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The author is dead but according to our beloved necromantic traditions Jod is neither telling a series of slickly manipulative half-lies nor painstakingly recounting the truth as best he is able. He is drunk and ranting at McDonalds. Perhaps most crucially, he is going to regret this when he sobers up.

#no but he HAS been drunk and he's god. he can probably get fries with his geriatric and adoring admiral if he wants them #also I DID very much start a harrow reread and to the surprise of probably no one it's very rewarding in a post Nona world #John going off about how absolutely no one has to know about harrow's murdergenesis #that no one has the right to know? I'm late I'm late but oof does that hit different in light of his late night confessions #when god regrets spilling his guts in the early a.m. what does he do about it?#I'm worried for our girl harrow #mr. no one ever forgives you for real and I am so uncomfortable with anyone being mad at me #I created a society where everyone worships me as a god #and now!!! im fucking Admiral God's Home is On This Ship #You Speak of frailties I had not noticed in GOD #sarpedon goes from responding to jod's touch like a brand to getting his dick in #pour one out he is having the ABSOLUTE wildest time #Jod has been on that ship for 80 years! longer than his whole career!#anyway the guy who mindwiped all his friends so they couldn't judge him and then killed them when they got mad at him anyway #and THEN decided to fuck someone who adores him unconditionally to help with the breakup sadness #may not respond well to that post drunken honesty vomit vulnerability and regret

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zip-toonz · 2 years ago

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Something about Xerneas giving life. Im still figuring out the little details! But heres what happens when the life pokemon grants you a second chance.

#pokemon xy #trainer trevor #trevor pokemon #Rivial Rival #?#also sorry for all the edits and aus as of late. ive been working on my artstyle as of late #i wanna play around with a more stylized art style. think paswg or 2010s mlp/lps type art #but im in the process of experimenting and refining it so it may be a bit before i start really posting fullu original stuff #dont worry i still like my older style and def have a reason to use it but i feel like keeping myself locked to one thing is hindering me #as for why im only drawing trevor. uhhh 2013 brainrot back for round 2 #if you wanna know more btw just ask i have a few ideas #Revival au

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sn0wbat · 1 year ago

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i finally did something lineless again for the first time in A While, so i felt like comparing!!

old ones are from october 2018, new ones are from very recently (august 2023)

#man. that's nearly five years huh. dang #low stakes 🦇#sometimes it's just really fun to compare recent stuff with old similar stuff #just to see how your art has progressed. and also how their designs may have subtly changed. very neat #also don't worry einarr still mainly has a sidepart haha #i like playing with his hair!!! i always did #i've drawn him with a middle part back then too #it's fine #also it was 2018 einarr was only BARELY starting to become a character at this point #also yeah i've been drawing mort's hair a lot wavier lately #it's more fun and it looks very nice actually #morten still has the top hat too. don't you worry #again i like playing with their designs and morten has a lot of hats <3 #but yeah. pretty sure that old lineless mort actually never saw the light of day until now. he was literally still in the psd file #i wasn't completely happy with it at the time

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merkerlerspeaks · 7 months ago

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Think I had a breakthrough with something tonight. No I will not elaborate.

#Buuuut I wanna mention it just because it's a good thing #Just something a bit personal however I wanna celebrate that breakthrough somehow #I was going to go in to class today but my hair is a matted mess from not brushing it for a week (Brushing my hair is tiring lately.)#So I may deal with that and make myself some brownies in the morning #Then email my teacher and let him know why I'm not there when I said I'd try to be there #I need to be there at LEAST once this week. At LEAST. Preferably twice.#We're starting our drone flying and I wanna do the water drone #Merkerler speaks #(I should also mention the hair thing is not a depression thing. It just LOOKS like depression.#It's other things masking as that. But I don't even slightly suspect that I'm depressed.#I bring up no red flags on any clinical screenings I've taken at the doctor.#I'm just chronically sick and something flaring up and that + my ADHD means #Little motivation + doing things hurts or is tiring #which could cause depression. But it isn't Ive been depressed before & I know depression and it isn't that. Promise.#and I'm explaining that cuz I've gotten more comments about it lately and I want to be clear about it #bc I don't want anyone worrying about that #Maybe pray over the sickness that's actually there lol)

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year ago

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idk man but it seems that when you start becoming aware of your own IssuesTM you also begin getting a little uncomfortable with how many of those same IssuesTM are present in popular interpretations of fan-favorite fictional characters

#to be clear: I'm not bashing people processing their issues through fandom. I get that. have done that.#it may not be the most ideal way to process things but it is A Way and sometimes it may be all you have for a while #the thing that's worrying me a bit is how much of it isn't a path towards restoration. it's just... there.#like it's an integral part of who the characters are now and everyone feels that it's Very Important that they are That Way #and there's little to no hope of it ever getting better bc this is The Character now #idk maybe I'm just reading my own yearning for hope and restoration and redemption into my experience with fandom lol :')#but. maybe a little bit of the issue is the way that we present issues as Static. and we can't allow them to ever be fixed #bc that would take away an aspect of 'identity' if we did #your brokenness is not your identity. it may be part of your story. but it is not /you/.#this is what I'm trying to force myself to believe lately (and yes it is directly descended from my faith. I must believe in redemption #and restoration. because otherwise there is no hope. and I cannot live without hope. no one can.)#gurt says stuff #fandom #**if people start being weird on this post I will delete it and block them this is a fair warning**

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autistic-shaiapouf · 8 months ago

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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

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scarletcomet · 11 months ago

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I feel so depressed for no reason. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried everything.

#i think talking with my psychiatrist put me in a worse mood #i was like on the verge of tears while talking to her #she said that she would have hoped that the new med im on would have started to make a difference by now #she also said that i always present myself the same way when i come into her office. apparently im distant and withdrawn #i try so hard to open up but im just so bad at putting how i feel into words #she said i never report feeling any better. which isnt even true but i also just havent been feeling much improvement lately #i feel like i do acknowledge the improvement i've made #like she has seen me at my lowest. she literally sent me to the hospital in june. then she was my doctor while i was in the hospital too #idk #i think im just like getting burnt out from all this therapy. ive been in higher levels of care (inpatient/residential/php/iop) since may #i just don't want to do anything. even things i have enjoyed in the past or have always wanted to do #im going to spain with my family on tuesday but i so just dont want to go even though ive wanted to go to spain for a long time #this kind of reminds me of when i wasnt looking forward to the taylor swift concert or my 21st bday #and that was because i was so suicidal. i worry that's how im going to feel again #i felt like i couldnt keep getting through each day which i feel now too #but i guess my suicidal thoughts are less constant and intense now even though they are still chronic #i remember that i literally could not focus on anything because my mind would just wander to thoughts about hurting myself #i remember the constant thoughts and urges...

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squuote · 1 year ago

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lately I’ve been trying to divide my time evenly enough to where I don’t feel so guilty for not having created anything while still allowing myself time to relax and do other things I enjoy doing. work is tiring but it’ll be worth it once I can get a car and as long as I can sleep in on the weekends I don’t mind only sleeping a few hours most nights. plus I got a good balance with work and school so it checks out for now

#delete later #ignore this I’m just talking out loud #I know I’ve been very chatty on here as of late #I do have stuff in the works though that I wanna get to working on today #but I’m doing good progress on being nicer to myself at least #despite having it very bad other weeks. this works for now #I am worried about next semester though because I have to take in person classes #worried I may need to change jobs because I don’t think I could do this job and in person classes #rlly this job only works with online stuff so I can do homework at work #so maybe I’ll start looking for something part time to accommodate #for now at least this works

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only-in-december · 1 year ago

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Y'know, being in my brain 24/7 is a wild experience. Especially when it comes to fandom related stuff. Because like. On the one hand, I'm rewriting/editing all my Danny Phantom fics so I can reupload them, but better. On the other, I'm still working on my SG1 AU. But also, I want to keep writing the three different Star Trek fics that I have going right now. Plus, I'm reading LOTR and just really want to read that. And I also am starting to get back into Doctor Who again??? Because y'know. THe rest of that wasn't quite enough for me. I'm going to drive myself insane with all of this. I might as well fall back into the Les Mis fandom too! (I won't though. Don't worry.)

#stargate sg1 #danny phantom #star trek #lotr #someone please help me #i need all the fics that live in my head to just be written #so that i can read them #and not have to worry about disappointing readers by accidentally disappearing for months at a time #doctor who #les miserables #i forgot to mention the amount of 'bones' fanfiction i've been reading lately #i may cry #(but not really please don't worry about me)#also i feel like i should explain that it's mainly a wild experience because i jump around between all of these things at once #like #i sit down and start typing up one fic #then almost immediatly i have to jump over because i need to work on a different fic #but oh wait #that other one needs work #but no i should really start on that one that i've been thinking about for a while now #and there's that other thing i was gonna work on too #but i digress #sorry for rambling in the tags #i just needed to get this out of my system #i'm good now

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cerealmonster15 · 1 year ago

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lowkey feel like im gonna throw up and idk if thats the anxiety or the chocolate from earlier LOL

#perhapeth a little of both jsdjflsdjf #iti's not like. not a BIG feeling just. JUUST ENOUGH #god idk why im so nervous LOL like damn the fic isnt THAT deep and serious or anything #but it's like. More Serious Than Usual and i DO feel more vulnerable w/this one #got dam started it sept 4 finishing it MAY 12TH WHOOPS #it's not even my longest fic it's like. my average i guess LOL #im like. scared of embarassing myself lol #SORRY im having a therapy session with myself in the tags here I NEED THIS #i guess it's only been like a couple months ish since i last posted a fic so it hasnt even been that long but #in my mind it feels like forever #WHY are my arms shaking GOD i swear im like. nervous but it's not That Bad fljdksfjlksd #i probably sound so dramatic over like. fanfiction lskdfjsd #but man lately i have felt so very insecure about. doing things. and sharing things. being percieved when i make attempts at something #like both in general but extra when it's a personal attempt #and this fic!!!! felt personal!!!! im not fully sure why tbh #but it did #so i had emotional stakes in it. i wanted to do the topic justice and i want to be understood in the way i wrote things #but i didnt wanna spell it out completely either but i dont exactly have faith in myself to make implications clear #and im worried it doesnt work. im worried it ended weird. im worried some stuff didnt fit together. but thats just 2 bad llol #also directors cut: there was gonna be a part about jamil loaning sleepwear like a hoodie and sweatpants to azul #but thats part of what had me stuck for a while. i couldnt figure out hwo to make it work #eventually i decided it didnt fit and i had to cut it #so alas. clothes sharing and hair brushing for another fic one day maybe LOL #ok thats enough baring my soul to the internet for one night good bye lol 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️

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mimicteruyo · 2 years ago

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Yesterday: “I will literally never reach the end of this draft.”

Today: “...Hold on. I’m down to the final 10k.”

#teruyo talk #it's probably less than 10k even but i don't wanna get my hopes up #due to how chaotic this whole process has been both how much there's to go #and how long the current draft actually is are both mysteries #but yeah i did go from feeling like no progress has been made #to realising how far i've actually come #ofc additional scenes and mandatory rewrites are 5k+ at the absolute minimum #but i try not to worry about that right now #at this rate i may even be done at the end of the month #looking forward to starting edits in 2027 #things will probably slow down a little bit after i wrap up the next chapter #and re-introduce my tenshi side project back into the rotation #but still! man i had forgotten just how much progress you can make just by being consistent about writing small amounts at a time #hope everyone's been well lately

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angelolsenwife · 2 years ago

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IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#MY GOD #i was low key worried about her not saying anything about coming here bcs she was posting all the time about her your #and NO WORD on brazil #and since a lot of artists canceled on us lately i was starting to freak out a bit kkkkkkkkkrying #BUT ALL IS WELL I'LL BE SEEING MY GIRLFRIEND IN MAY CAN'T WAIT #weyes blood #natalie mering #tour****

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