#i was starting to worry i may be late | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spkyart · 1 year ago

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My xmas gift for yall 🎁🎄

Happy new yeast ♥️

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tomaturtles · 9 months ago

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Got inspired by this and had to

#shinji ikari #kaworu nagisa #kawoshin #neon genesis evangelion #nge #toma draws #managed to set up my art stuff in the place we're staying at and immediately used it for evil #love how after kawoshin week i was like 'yay i can finally get to non kawoshin wips ^_^' only for it to be the first thing i draw after 😭#in my defense i also didn't get around to drawing for a while and kawoshin kept me going during the fuckass flood situation in my state #(i'm doing ok btw :3👍we have a nice place to stay while we wait it out and our house seems to be mostly water free despite water around it)#btw i forget if i mentioned it but i started posting art on twitter for kawoshin week and ended up sticking around after #so i'm also there now :] (i'm tomaturtles there too)#worry not though.... i may have been quiet on here lately but tumblr is still my house

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lighthouseshepard · 6 months ago

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feels like. most of the past few months have just been me waiting in drs offices alone hoping for answers or a solution that will stick. and it sucks

#currently waiting to discuss the anxiety medication ive been on lately oh and also tmi warning cnencnnfn regarding My Brain #sorry ur all getting too much insight into my dumb stupid molecules probably #i just want to not feel like garbage all the time #and anxious and like im dying #and advocating for your own mental health is so hard #bc i KNOW this shit isn't working #it's been 3 months #and i feel only vaguely improved #but still bad overall #plus i keep losing weight bc i have no appetite #down like uhhh 35 lbs i think since this all started in may #and im always worried these ppl and doctors think im like #asking for a magic pill to fix everything but thats not the case at all #its not for lack of trying its brain chemistry and i know it is bc ive struggled with it my entire life #anways #hope i can get these thoughts across to the dr without like barfing #im so nervous im nauseous #i just wanna wake up and not have my chest hurt from the panic #tbd

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a-very-fond-farewell · 8 months ago

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it was tendOnitis all along???? travesty

#I thought it was spelled ‘tendinitis’??#me is a fool??#no it made sense bc in my language there’s definitely an ‘i’ ther but like #*there #come on mate #D:#I’ve resorted to look up my symptoms online yes why do you ask #4 months of pain should be plenty imho #moreover. I have receipts some lovely comments on my fic :) and I want to reply to them soon :D #*received #but I’m currently typing this with my left as I strapped (no pun intended) a frozen peas bag to my right arm at 6am on this merry Sunday #this does look pretty grim my dudes. ngl #anyway.#I hope everyone is having a good time #and if not.. I’m sending you the goodest of luck #imagine a golden retriever bringing luck to you in a picnic basket as we speak #that’s the luck you deserve peeps #I’ve typed (and I must stress this. with my LEFT index finger. like a boomer) enough for the day #I’ve been awake since 4am to get a good start with ch25 and boy howdy did SDY got scared for a minute there in this chapter 👀#*get #ok I’m done #I’m rather delirious at this point. sorry about that. the pain is real #to my lovely m00ts: I may be late to the game but I will answer your messages and comments. done you worry #*don’t you worry #if anything lemme know if I can be of help with anything on your end D:#mutuals of the same feather as they say..#ok. Niki out P:#sneaky niki

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dzozef · 16 days ago

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i got offered the promotion at work.... why am i every business owners wettest dream damn....

#yapping #yes my ocd is horrible for my mental health but boy is it good for my wallet !!!!#its not OFFICIAL yet #but it was offered to me and i accepted so theyre seeing how they want to proceed now #cause its not just about me theres a shit ton of changes they want to make that include switching like 5 peoples schedules around #but my team leader said that most of those changes being possible depended on whether i would accept this or not #so well see #id be a team leader myself now #the feminine urge to become a power hungry dictator control freak at work.......#id be switching from my current early morning shifts to late night shifts which is much less healthy on paper #but my body is made for sleeping late i physically can not go to bed before 3am even now when i wake up at 5:30 #i might have the money to renovate my apartment now cause i think this comes with a 20% pay increase which is a lotttt #i basically will be earning two incomes myself now 😭#dani said he fully believes Ace Of Spades exists at this point cause everything always ends up going my way in the end #i know it may seem like im flexing but please be aware when i started this job a year and a half ago i was borderline homeless 😐#so its a huge deal for me 😭 and really quickly done as well which is why its so insane #like. in a year and a half only i went from borderline homeless and my parents keeping me on constant phonecalls #cause they were worried id off myself if i hung up #to being a homeowner that earns two incomes by herself while working from home #i feel like in most companies hard work doesnt rly pay off tbh i was just lucky to get into one of the few companies where they do value it #the literal CEO is my biggest dickrider 😭 but i do appreciate him giving me raises randomly cause he feels like i deserve it #but yeah !!!! apparently life altering anxiety that forces you to compulsively do perfect work at any job you ever do #because making mistakes and not giving it your 110% feels like a moral failure so you feel sick at the very thought of it #is apparently what makes the dream worker #if only they knew i dont actually care about this in any capacity.... i am just fucked in the head in a way that works im their favour 😭#this is why all of my ex bosses begged me to stay when i quit teehee #im yapping too much but yeah !! heall yeah money !!

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zip-toonz · 2 years ago

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Something about Xerneas giving life. Im still figuring out the little details! But heres what happens when the life pokemon grants you a second chance.

#pokemon xy #trainer trevor #trevor pokemon #Rivial Rival #?#also sorry for all the edits and aus as of late. ive been working on my artstyle as of late #i wanna play around with a more stylized art style. think paswg or 2010s mlp/lps type art #but im in the process of experimenting and refining it so it may be a bit before i start really posting fullu original stuff #dont worry i still like my older style and def have a reason to use it but i feel like keeping myself locked to one thing is hindering me #as for why im only drawing trevor. uhhh 2013 brainrot back for round 2 #if you wanna know more btw just ask i have a few ideas #Revival au

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sn0wbat · 1 year ago

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i finally did something lineless again for the first time in A While, so i felt like comparing!!

old ones are from october 2018, new ones are from very recently (august 2023)

#man. that's nearly five years huh. dang #low stakes 🦇#sometimes it's just really fun to compare recent stuff with old similar stuff #just to see how your art has progressed. and also how their designs may have subtly changed. very neat #also don't worry einarr still mainly has a sidepart haha #i like playing with his hair!!! i always did #i've drawn him with a middle part back then too #it's fine #also it was 2018 einarr was only BARELY starting to become a character at this point #also yeah i've been drawing mort's hair a lot wavier lately #it's more fun and it looks very nice actually #morten still has the top hat too. don't you worry #again i like playing with their designs and morten has a lot of hats <3 #but yeah. pretty sure that old lineless mort actually never saw the light of day until now. he was literally still in the psd file #i wasn't completely happy with it at the time

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uwudonoodle · 4 months ago

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I've officially joined AO3! My username is the same as here on Tumblr, Uwudonoodle. Now I can read all your fics that are only for registered users.

#it may surprise some of you that I wasn't registered until now #I'm kind of late to getting deep into fandom #I only started reading fanfic with any regularity a couple of years ago #and I only joined Tumblr a few months ago #I wasn't going to worry about officially joining ao3 until I was ready to publish my story #but I also want to read your fics that you've set to only registered users #it will be nice to bookmark things too #I also put it off because I wasn't sure what I wanted my username to be #but someone here on Tumblr complimented my username and now it's gone to my head #so I decided to use it for both Tumblr and ao3 #it will be a still be a while before my fic is ready to publish #but I may try to write a quick one shot before then so I can figure out how to format things correctly #I've got a lot to learn still #gonna go look at site skins #ao3 #happy reading

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phagodyke · 5 months ago

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this is like my fourth or fifth consecutive bad gym session I might as well just kill myself

#was fine when it was bc of my wrist injury just frustrating that i was so limited in what i could do #but its mostly better now and i still feel like im not doing anything near what im capable of i dont fucking know whats holding me back #both physical limitation and also i just have no grit at the moment. lost my mojo :-(#well ik itll take a while until my wrists are fully functional again and i probably am still healing so its partly that #and just a lot on my mind lately. im usually fine at work but for some reason the gym makes me ruminate n i get so frustrated n miserable #by the end of a session and ppl start to annoy me bc they act like they can read me n make wildly wrong assumptions abt how im feeling #and then im reminded that even ppl i consider good friends consistently do the same no one actually knows me at all i guess #and it makes me feel very unloved and upset but whatever its all on me bc i cant communicate in ways other ppl can understand #and i dont trust or feel safe around other ppl so i just alienate myself and fold myself up around the immense distress it causes me yayyy #and ill be thinking this shit at like 8:30pm halfway up a wall and demotivate myself and slip and graze an elbow or whatever #ughhhhhh. and then i cycle the whole way home until i get thru the door and start sobbing idk how many times this is now #i have a stupid headache and im going to be so fucking tired at work tomorrow im going to bed.#its fine really. im not actually depressed anymore i dont think. these are just my regular old wounds ive had since the dawn of time #and i just have this dumbass fucking brain that for some reason instead of giving me endorphins and a high from exercise as a reward #just makes me really sad instead. maybe im just not eating enough around when i workout idk like it could be low blood sugar #and i am mildly worried abt some things bc well. they could be very very difficult for me to deal with if they happen. and if they do #happen well thats good in other ways but i have to be prepared to take some major fucking hits. ive only recently started to feel like ive #mostly recovered from how fucking shite this summer has been after the mental damage done in may/june. i cant spend another season there #can i just catch a fucking break like forever please. and a shoulder to cry into im so touch deprived its unreal who even cares anymore #fine reallt tho i promise just worked myself up innit. ugh. anyway gn #.diaries #.vent

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merkerlerspeaks · 10 months ago

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Think I had a breakthrough with something tonight. No I will not elaborate.

#Buuuut I wanna mention it just because it's a good thing #Just something a bit personal however I wanna celebrate that breakthrough somehow #I was going to go in to class today but my hair is a matted mess from not brushing it for a week (Brushing my hair is tiring lately.)#So I may deal with that and make myself some brownies in the morning #Then email my teacher and let him know why I'm not there when I said I'd try to be there #I need to be there at LEAST once this week. At LEAST. Preferably twice.#We're starting our drone flying and I wanna do the water drone #Merkerler speaks #(I should also mention the hair thing is not a depression thing. It just LOOKS like depression.#It's other things masking as that. But I don't even slightly suspect that I'm depressed.#I bring up no red flags on any clinical screenings I've taken at the doctor.#I'm just chronically sick and something flaring up and that + my ADHD means #Little motivation + doing things hurts or is tiring #which could cause depression. But it isn't Ive been depressed before & I know depression and it isn't that. Promise.#and I'm explaining that cuz I've gotten more comments about it lately and I want to be clear about it #bc I don't want anyone worrying about that #Maybe pray over the sickness that's actually there lol)

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 2 years ago

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idk man but it seems that when you start becoming aware of your own IssuesTM you also begin getting a little uncomfortable with how many of those same IssuesTM are present in popular interpretations of fan-favorite fictional characters

#to be clear: I'm not bashing people processing their issues through fandom. I get that. have done that.#it may not be the most ideal way to process things but it is A Way and sometimes it may be all you have for a while #the thing that's worrying me a bit is how much of it isn't a path towards restoration. it's just... there.#like it's an integral part of who the characters are now and everyone feels that it's Very Important that they are That Way #and there's little to no hope of it ever getting better bc this is The Character now #idk maybe I'm just reading my own yearning for hope and restoration and redemption into my experience with fandom lol :')#but. maybe a little bit of the issue is the way that we present issues as Static. and we can't allow them to ever be fixed #bc that would take away an aspect of 'identity' if we did #your brokenness is not your identity. it may be part of your story. but it is not /you/.#this is what I'm trying to force myself to believe lately (and yes it is directly descended from my faith. I must believe in redemption #and restoration. because otherwise there is no hope. and I cannot live without hope. no one can.)#gurt says stuff #fandom #**if people start being weird on this post I will delete it and block them this is a fair warning**

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autistic-shaiapouf · 11 months ago

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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

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scarletcomet · 1 year ago

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I feel so depressed for no reason. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried everything.

#i think talking with my psychiatrist put me in a worse mood #i was like on the verge of tears while talking to her #she said that she would have hoped that the new med im on would have started to make a difference by now #she also said that i always present myself the same way when i come into her office. apparently im distant and withdrawn #i try so hard to open up but im just so bad at putting how i feel into words #she said i never report feeling any better. which isnt even true but i also just havent been feeling much improvement lately #i feel like i do acknowledge the improvement i've made #like she has seen me at my lowest. she literally sent me to the hospital in june. then she was my doctor while i was in the hospital too #idk #i think im just like getting burnt out from all this therapy. ive been in higher levels of care (inpatient/residential/php/iop) since may #i just don't want to do anything. even things i have enjoyed in the past or have always wanted to do #im going to spain with my family on tuesday but i so just dont want to go even though ive wanted to go to spain for a long time #this kind of reminds me of when i wasnt looking forward to the taylor swift concert or my 21st bday #and that was because i was so suicidal. i worry that's how im going to feel again #i felt like i couldnt keep getting through each day which i feel now too #but i guess my suicidal thoughts are less constant and intense now even though they are still chronic #i remember that i literally could not focus on anything because my mind would just wander to thoughts about hurting myself #i remember the constant thoughts and urges...

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squuote · 1 year ago

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lately I’ve been trying to divide my time evenly enough to where I don’t feel so guilty for not having created anything while still allowing myself time to relax and do other things I enjoy doing. work is tiring but it’ll be worth it once I can get a car and as long as I can sleep in on the weekends I don’t mind only sleeping a few hours most nights. plus I got a good balance with work and school so it checks out for now

#delete later #ignore this I’m just talking out loud #I know I’ve been very chatty on here as of late #I do have stuff in the works though that I wanna get to working on today #but I’m doing good progress on being nicer to myself at least #despite having it very bad other weeks. this works for now #I am worried about next semester though because I have to take in person classes #worried I may need to change jobs because I don’t think I could do this job and in person classes #rlly this job only works with online stuff so I can do homework at work #so maybe I’ll start looking for something part time to accommodate #for now at least this works

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only-in-december · 2 years ago

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Y'know, being in my brain 24/7 is a wild experience. Especially when it comes to fandom related stuff. Because like. On the one hand, I'm rewriting/editing all my Danny Phantom fics so I can reupload them, but better. On the other, I'm still working on my SG1 AU. But also, I want to keep writing the three different Star Trek fics that I have going right now. Plus, I'm reading LOTR and just really want to read that. And I also am starting to get back into Doctor Who again??? Because y'know. THe rest of that wasn't quite enough for me. I'm going to drive myself insane with all of this. I might as well fall back into the Les Mis fandom too! (I won't though. Don't worry.)

#stargate sg1 #danny phantom #star trek #lotr #someone please help me #i need all the fics that live in my head to just be written #so that i can read them #and not have to worry about disappointing readers by accidentally disappearing for months at a time #doctor who #les miserables #i forgot to mention the amount of 'bones' fanfiction i've been reading lately #i may cry #(but not really please don't worry about me)#also i feel like i should explain that it's mainly a wild experience because i jump around between all of these things at once #like #i sit down and start typing up one fic #then almost immediatly i have to jump over because i need to work on a different fic #but oh wait #that other one needs work #but no i should really start on that one that i've been thinking about for a while now #and there's that other thing i was gonna work on too #but i digress #sorry for rambling in the tags #i just needed to get this out of my system #i'm good now

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angelolsenwife · 2 years ago

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IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#MY GOD #i was low key worried about her not saying anything about coming here bcs she was posting all the time about her your #and NO WORD on brazil #and since a lot of artists canceled on us lately i was starting to freak out a bit kkkkkkkkkrying #BUT ALL IS WELL I'LL BE SEEING MY GIRLFRIEND IN MAY CAN'T WAIT #weyes blood #natalie mering #tour****

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