#i was scrolling the tag and my brain just won't let this go now that I saw it

[solar-pxwered]

Is this intentional or just a coincidence???

[fairlyang]

Bad idea right? 🕷️

bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo but it's you being down bad for your ex

w/c: 2.6K

pairing: exbf!miguel x drunkfem!reader

tags: 18+ smut. mention of being drunk. can't help but miss him, he lives rent free in ur head, down horrendous for him, making out, fingering, only reader orgasm

Oh, hey

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensin' some undertone

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sendin' me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

I was at the club with my friends getting drunk off a our minds like we usually do, when I get a phone call. We were sitting in a circular booth so I had Ryan by my left and Val to my right and both of them peered over my shoulder as I grabbed my phone.

We all gasped at the caller ID and they immediately tried to snatch my phone from me, I quickly pulled it down and put it between my thighs making sure to squeeze them tightly so they can't get it. "Bitch do not answer that call-" I hear Ryan say before I moved.

I grab my phone and get under the table as I hear their screams at me while I crawl away then stand up at the end of the table waving my phone, "NO!"

I answer and put the phone to my ear to hear his all too familiar voice, "Hey... I'm all alone and was hoping you could slide by.."

I bite my lip and feel my heart race at his tone, so husky and giving me the exact implication I'd expect after months of not talking. "I'm down." I respond almost immediately letting drunk me take control of my brain.

"I'll send you the address." He murmurs and then hangs up.

I sigh dreamily then look at my phone as a message came in from Miguel. The snap of a finger caught my attention as I look down at all three of my friends giving me crazy eyes. "You are not going-"

I sit down next to Val and lean my head against her shoulder as I pull up his insta and look at his pictures. "Ugh but how could I not-" I whine and show them the most recent set of pictures he's posted.

"Bitch it's been literal months-" Ella sneers shaking her head in disappointment.

"So....? I know we're done but that doesn't mean we can't fu-" I start to say as I look up at Ryan and Ella both shaking their head, "you guys are broken up!"

I roll my eyes and look down at my phone taking a closer look at the pictures of Miguel as my friends groan and Val wraps an arm around me, shaking me, "you're gonna regret it."

But, God, when I look at you

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably

(I should probably, probably not)

(I should probably, probably not)

I shrug and admire the way his lips were curled into a pretty smile and his dimples were out, so pretty. The sparkle in his eyes making me melt and make the butterflies reappear in my stomach like old times.

I scroll through the rest of the pictures that consisted of selfies and mirror pics with his friends. My heart skips a beat when I see him wearing the navy blue button up I always loved seeing him wear. Fuck he's so handsome... so fucking fine...

And the way his voice sounded, god I could never grow sick of it.

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

Hmm maybe it is a bad idea.... I mean everyone knows what happens if you hook up with your ex after months of no contact..

It won't be the end and will just be an endless cycle of calling each other, hooking up and potentially getting back together just forgetting why you broke up in the first place.

Do I really want that?

Fuck it, it's fine

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

I shake those thoughts away and grin, fuck it, it'll be fine.

"Shouldn't it be fine if two people just reconnect?" I ask and they all say "no" at the same time.

I groan, shaking my head looking at them in disbelief, "I only see him as a friend..." I lie and Ryan immediately bursts out laughing.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

"What?!?" I exclaim and throw my hands up.

"You do not see him as a friend-" Val cuts in and I shake my head.

"Bitch be serious for one second-" Ryan says but I cut him off, "You're all wrong!" I say when a hiccup leaves my mouth.

"You're literally drunk-" Ella says and I wave her off.

"I'm fine-"

Another hiccup.

"Alright I'll catch you guys tomorrow-" I say and stand up.

"Bitch stop you gotta really think about this-" Ryan starts but I lift a finger up and look up pretending to think, "I've thought about it...... Bye!" I say then wave goodbye as I walk to the exit hearing their shouts at me.

I open the doors and walk out feeling the cold breeze as I walk over to the parking lot. I quickly get an Uber and try to wait as patiently as I can, pacing back and forth along the sidewalk, waiting.

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where, in his sheets

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor

And you're standin', smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

I see the designated car I got and quickly hop before opening Miguel's text and telling the driver the address.

He nods and starts heading there as I put on my seat belt and sigh in relief. I'm finally seeing him.

I feel a buzz from my phone and I quickly open it but groan when I see it's texts from the groupchat.

Ryan🤞🏼

I'm beating your ass tmrw

Val💅🏼

Please be safe

Ella🫶🏼

Bitch where are you

I giggle and roll my eyes, quickly typing.

What a variety...

Y/n

Going to sleep😴

I send then put my phone on dnd knowing they'll do anything to try and stop me.

I go through my archived on my insta and look through all the posts I had of Miguel and I when we were together. We were so good together. So perfect. Two peas in a pod. Yin and Yang. The apple to my eye. Whatever the fuck that meant.

I sigh and lean against the window looking out as it started to drizzle. I felt my eyes closing but I tried my best to stay awake, of all times being drunk right now would be the one time I get sleepy?

So fucked up.

The rest of the drive was a blur but i automatically paid from the app and stumbled out of the car and walked towards his new apartment.

I go through the door and then walk towards the stairs holding on to the railing because I didn't trust myself to go up steadily. I get to the top of the stairs, making it to the second floor and walk onto the hallway. I pull my dress down then fix the straps when I see a door a couple feet away open and there he was.

I tried my hardest not to smile immediately but I got closer I noticed he was the one that had a smile on his face. It sent a shiver down my spine as I walked towards him suddenly feeling nervous but the excitement rising with every step.

I feel like I've seen hotter men since we broke up but couldn't think of when or where, and didn't care to because I had him now right in front of me.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably

(I should probably, probably not)

(I should probably, probably not)

My mind was going wild, heart started racing as I checked him out. Wearing a white tee and god those grey sweatpants....

I felt my breath hitch in my throat and i felt like I was going to melt just at the sight of him. I couldn't help still feeling this way towards him, I always tried to push my thoughts away whenever I thought of him but I really couldn't help that he lived rent free in my head all these months.

So of course I was going to jump at the opportunity of being with him again. In whatever way he pleased.

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

"Hey." I breathe out and give him a drunken smile.

"This is a bad idea isn't it?" I say looking into his eyes praying he doesn't agree with me.

He chuckles and shrugs, "maybe..."

I was contemplating really going in, going through with this. If I do through that door I'll be stuck to him and won't be able to leave his side. I'll be glued to him and will continue to come back here.

"Well maybe it is." He mumbles looking down at my body.

I bite my lip and feel a whirlwind of emotions but the most powering one being arousal. He just looked so good.

Fuck it, it's fine

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Fuck it.

I take a step forward and smash my lips onto his immediately wrapping my arms behind his neck as I feel his trail down to my waist. He kissed me back instantly and makes us take a few steps back to go into his apartment.

I feel one hand get off me to close the door then it's back but playing with the ends of my hair as he moves us back.

He pulls away, leaving my lips lightly shivering, quickly leading us towards his bedroom.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

He closes the door and connects our lips together again, I kiss him in the neediest manner ever as he leans down making me sit on his bed. His hands go to my thighs, lightly squeezing as he bites my bottom lip then slides his tongue into my mouth.

I moan in his mouth and move my body back as I felt his hands on my lower back helping me scoot up his bed while he went down and was now hovering over me. I let his tongue explore my mouth while I tug on the ends of his curls and wrapping my legs around his waist bringing him even closer to me.

He pulls away and leaves a kiss on my cheek, then my jaw until finally goes down to my neck. Leaving open-mouthed kisses leaving me breathless and a moaning mess beneath him.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

"We're still exes." I breathe out and let my head sink in into his pillow, arching my back because of the pleasure.

He hums against my skin, then sucks on his favorite spot before leaving kisses on it. I let out a shaky breath and feel my eyes flutter, I've missed him. All of him.

Can't two people reconnect?

"We're only reconnecting." I murmur and buck my hips up to have some friction, feel anything.

He groans and grinds his hips against mine making us both moan. "Fuck." He moans out and continues doing it but now faster and directly against my soaked pussy as my dress was ridden up to my thighs.

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Even deep down I knew this was going to end bad, but it was far too late. Well I mean I could just pull away right now? 

Yeah right....

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

"Such a bad idea." He murmurs against my neck making me giggle.

"Too late now." I purr and smile as he leans in to kiss me again but with more passion, need, hunger.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I kiss back with the same intensity slowly feeling his hands go down my body, first groping my tits over my dress then trailing down my stomach. He immediately went down between my thighs and rubbed circles on my sensitive clit making me gasp against his mouth. "Miguel." I cry out but he slides his tongue in my mouth quickly shutting me up and making me melt into his touch.

(The biggest lie I ever said)

"Please-" I plead when he pulls away to kiss my neck again.

"Already so wet baby." He mocks, moving my panties to the side then slides two fingers between my folds leaving me a breathless, desperate mess.

My brain goes, "Ah"

I felt like I blanked out because suddenly he was pumping his fingers into me murmuring sweet nothings into my ears while I let out whimpers and moans, "faster."

"Patience baby." He says and pecks my lips as I felt my body shaking, just needing him to fuck me faster.

Can't hear my thoughts

I move my hands to his back, lightly scratching, trailing up and down, caressing his shoulders. "Please- I need you Miguel, I need you to make me feel good. You're the only one who can- fuck-!" I moan out then scream, scratching his back with my nails.

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

He moved his fingers faster and started curling them up almost hitting the spot that always had me reaching me orgasm fast. I felt myself clench around his fingers making him moan as the sounds of my slickness filled my ears. "You've missed me then huh mami?" He whispers in my ear making me whimper and nod.

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

I let out bundles of whimpers as I felt my orgasm quickly approaching, the all too familiar feeling rising in my lower abdomen. "Yes- yes I have." I moan out and move my hips as he went faster.

His fingers finally hit the spot repeatedly making me quickly reach my orgasm, "shit Miguel!!" I whimper as I come undone beneath him.

My whole body shook and I still felt my body shaking as he was slowing down, my breathing was calming down and I felt my eyes fluttering. Holy fuck.

"You did so good baby." He murmurs and leans in to kiss me softly.

I kiss him back moving my hands up to cup his face when I felt his fingers slip out. I felt my wetness drip down to my asshole and my legs continued to shake. I was speechless, I didn't think I'd cum that hard let alone have it be by him. He pulls away and brings his fingers to his lips, licking off every drop of my juices. "Mmm and you taste just as good." He moans out making me squeeze my thighs together.

"Nuh uh, spread them for me. I'm not done with you yet." He says making my eyes go wide as his brings his hands down to spread my legs for me.

[writingforstraykids]

Be nice

Pairing: Minchan

Word Count: 2983

Summary: Sometimes, Chan helping him out isn't what Minho wants, and this time, they get into a fight. Later that day they talk but it never stays at that with them...

Warnings/Tags: angst, minor fight, fluff, lots of kisses, teasing, smut, top!chan, bottom!minho

Minho stares at the ceiling, wondering if Chan would join him at some point tonight. The lights of passing cars illuminate the room, and the continuous sound of raindrops hitting the bedroom window calms him slowly. He hates getting into fights, especially with Chan. His boyfriend was a sweetheart, but when he got mad, everyone else felt like hiding and let him deal with it. Which was exactly what had happened today. 

Six hours earlier 

Minho scrolled through his phone as his stylist made the last adjustments to today's outfit. They'd be giving an interview soon, and he was a little nervous since it would be in English once again. Understanding wasn't the problem, but the time his brain needed to process the information and grasp some words together for an answer was simply too long. He hated it, wishing he could participate more, and Chan knew how upset he could get because of it. Nevertheless, he had repeatedly told him that he'd take over the Japanese, becoming more fluent than the rest. One of their staff members came up to him, and Minho greeted him politely. 

"The company feels like you're going to be left behind with all those English interviews coming up." 

"Sorry?" Minho asked, confused. "I'm here, aren't I?" 

"Yes, but a lot of this promotion is focused on English, so we need you to open up more," he told him. 

"What's going on?" Chan asked, strolling over as he saw the utter confusion on Minho's face. The staff member repeated himself for Chan, who frowned. "Why? You're not pressuring any of the others who struggle with that either." 

"Well, they try, at least. Everyone knows they won't get any new bits of information from him, though," he told them, and Chan glanced at Minho, whose face fell. "We need you to try at least." 

Minho was hurt by that because everyone knew how much he struggled with it. Nevertheless, this was his job, and he knew he had to put in some work to excel. "Okay," he nodded quietly. 

Chan placed his hand on his lower back and shook his head. "There's no need to pressure him like that. You all know I always try to include him."

"You may be the leader, but you're not the babysitter," he told him, and Minho closed his eyes in defeat, knowing Chan would be pissed now. 

"It's okay, I'll try harder. I'm sorry," he said, and Chan opened his mouth to protest. "Just let it be, please," Minho said before stepping away from them and sitting down on the sofa next to Felix. 

"What's going on?" Felix asked gently, but Minho didn't get to answer as Chan came over. 

"Why don't you stand up for yourself?" he asked, and Minho stared at him blankly. 

"You're serious right now? You do know your position as the leader is a little more secure than mine, right?" he asked defensively. 

"They're not gonna kick you out just because you tell them to fuck off once in a while," he said. 

"I got kicked before, didn't I?" he gave back and grabbed his phone. "Just stop, they're right you're not my babysitter, Chan, I can handle it." 

Chan huffed. "You're right. I'm your boyfriend, and I'm there when you're in trouble." 

Minho contorted his face. "It wouldn't have been a problem if you didn't waltz in and take over once again." 

"Now it's my fault they're telling you that stuff?" Chan asked, offended. 

"Chan. That's not what I said, and you know it," Minho sighed before pushing himself up. "Stop, okay? It's embarrassing." 

Chan stared after him as Minho left their room and closed the door a little too loudly. He took a deep breath before following him outside. Minho was leaning against the opposite wall, nervously fidgeting with his hands. "Min, come on," he said softly. 

Minho closed his eyes in defeat and shook his head. "I mean it; you're not making things easier. I know I'm shit at it, but you defending me for being shit at it makes it even more obvious."

"I was trying to help, okay? That's all," Chan said. 

"I don't want your help, okay?" Minho told him. "I love you, Channie, but I have to figure out some things on my own. Stop hovering." 

Chan looked at him for a long moment before going back inside. Minho sighed, knowing he was beyond pissed now. 

This time, Chan didn't mention him once or ask any questions to include him. He kept his distance during the game they played, and once they were done, Chan packed up his stuff. "We're going home," he told him firmly, and Minho blinked at him surprised. 

"I thought we were getting dinner with the -," he asked, but Chan's firm look made him stop. "I suppose not, then," he said, grabbing his bag. 

The others watched them nervously as Chan opened the door and let Minho out first, who waved at them with a halfhearted smile. As soon as the door closed, Minho turned toward him. "You're an asshole." 

"Excuse me?" Chan asked firmly, gently pushing him in the right direction, and kept walking next to him. 

"Why would you spoil our group dinner just because you're pissed at me? They were looking forward to it all week. I was looking forward to it." he said. 

"You're a grownup, you can still go," he shrugged, and Minho stopped walking. 

"You know what? Maybe that's a good idea," he told him. "Because you're being ridiculous right now, and I'd rather enjoy my evening instead of hiding until you calmed down." 

"Great, fuck off then," Chan said, not noticing the tears shimmering in Minho's eyes. Minho didn't answer and dropped his bag to his feet before turning on the spot and returning inside. Chan rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag before leaving. “Fucks sake,” he cursed.

Jisung watched him worriedly as he stepped inside. "You're okay?" 

"Not really, but that's between me and Chan," Minho told him, accepting the hug he offered. If there was one thing that he cared about, it was not pulling the others into their disagreements. Their relationship shouldn't weigh heavy on the group mentality. 

Two hours earlier 

Minho came back later that night, waving Changbin goodbye, who had driven him home. He sighed softly as he pulled the door close behind himself and slowly walked into the living room, spotting Chan on the sofa. "Hi," he said quietly. 

"Hey," he said, not looking up. 

"You should've come, it was fun," Minho told him gently, trying to make peace. 

"It wouldn't have been with me hovering," Chan said sourly. 

Minho nodded more to himself. "Okay," he whispered, putting his keys on the kitchen table. "How long?" 

"What?" Chan asked, irritated. 

"How long do you need until you can look at me again and talk to me without being pissed off?" he asked calmly. It wasn't meant as an insult or tease but to check his boundaries. 

Chan put his phone down and stared at him, a little startled. "What?" 

Minho closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself to stay calm. There was no use in exploding and triggering Chan's response even more. "Listen, love," he says very gently. "I had an amazing evening, and I don't intend to ruin my mood with another unnecessary fight. I missed you there, okay?" 

"Why? I thought you don't want a babysitter?" Chan said before he could think it through. 

Hurt filled Minho's eyes as he grabbed his keys from the table. "Now you're just being mean," he told him, clearly disappointed, and made his way upstairs. 

Chan groaned at himself and leaned back into the sofa, rubbing his face. 

Now

Chan still sits on the sofa, unsure if Minho would like him to join him tonight. By now, Chan knows Minho has every right to be disappointed, and deep down, he knows he didn't mean any harm telling him to back off a little. He is still hungry and craving that amazing noodle dish, Minho made them a few days ago. But now is hardly the time to ask him for it, having no idea how he made it. 

He looks up as Minho slowly comes down the stairs, his breath hitching when he sees him. Minho is wearing nothing but boxers and a shirt he lent him, his hair framing his face beautifully. Chan is once more reminded of how effortlessly beautiful Minho is at all times. Minho's eyes meet his, and the world seems to stand still for a moment. "Min, I'm sorry," Chan says softly. 

Minho walks past him into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water. Chan gets up, hesitantly making his way over and leaning against the kitchen island opposite him. Minho puts down the glass and searches his eyes. "You had dinner yet?" he asks. 

"No," Chan shakes his head. 

Minho sighs softly and opens his arms for him. Chan doesn’t hesitate and practically throws himself into his arms, hugging him tight. Minho gently runs his hand through his hair and plants a soft kiss on his head. "I know you meant well, Channie love. It's just…" 

"I don't make it easier, I know," he nods. "I just hate seeing them treat you like that." 

Minho places his fingers beneath his chin, lifting his face. "I have you, at the end of the day, I don't care what they say," he says, rubbing his thumb across Chan's lower lip. "We both know they're right, I have to try sometimes." 

Chan smiles softly and sinks deep into his eyes. "Did I ever tell you how adorable you are when you try though?" 

Minho's eyes brighten up, his smile growing shy. "Not since we recorded Drive." 

Chan smirks, cupping his face. "Mhm, the day of our first kiss. You were too adorable to resist." 

"So that's why you finally confessed your feelings," he teases lovingly. "I don't think I ever saw you that shy again." 

Chan mindlessly brushes back his hair, caressing his cheeks. "I was scared to ruin our friendship." 

"Technically, you did," Minho grins and searches his eyes. "We're way more than that now, aren't we?" he asks and turns, kissing the palm of his hand. 

"There's just one thing that bothers me," he tells him, and Minho frowns softly. "Your last name." 

"What?" Minho blinks at him. "Go blame my parents, thank you very much," he protests, gently shoving his chest. 

Chan grins before taking his hand and mindlessly fondling his ring finger. "I intend to change it one day," he says, and Minho's eyes widen, realizing what he is on about. "When all this is over, I'll officially make you mine." 

Minho chuckles softly and rolls his eyes at him. "You're so cheesy," he giggles. 

Chan smirks and pulls something from his pocket. "Until then, I want you to hold on to this for me," he says, sliding a subtle silver ring up his finger. 

"Channie," Minho breathes out, stunned. 

"Happy birthday, Minho baby," he says sweetly after checking the time. It’s only a few minutes after midnight. 

Minho's heart is about to burst, and he pulls him in, kissing him hard on the mouth. Chan's lips crash onto his, a soft moan leaving his lips that shoots straight to Minho's stomach. He sinks his hand into his hair and presses himself close. "Love, I need you. Right now," he whispers against his lips, and Chan takes the hint. He lifts him up, chuckling as Minho wraps his legs around him. Minho kisses him heavily as Chan maneuvers his way through the living room and up the stairs. He doesn’t even bother turning on the lights and sits down at the edge of their bed. Minho straddles his lap, hands cupping his face as he kisses him passionately. Chan sinks his hand into his hair, pulling him back as his lips travel down his neck. Minho moans sweetly at the sensation and presses him closer to his skin. "Chan, sweetie," he pants, and Chan hums questioningly against his neck, sinking his teeth into his skin. "Lube. Now." 

Chan chuckles at his impatience but reaches for the table next to the bed, grabbing the lube from the drawer. Minho takes it and slips from his lap, chest heaving softly from their heavy kisses. 

Minho leans down and captures his lips in another short, soft kiss. "Take it all off," he whispers before grabbing the hem of his own shirt. 

Chan doesn’t need a second invitation and pulls Minho back down on his lap as soon as their clothes are gone. He hungrily kisses him before getting up and lowering him back on the mattress. "Fuck, you're beautiful," he tells him quietly, and Minho smiles sweetly beneath him. 

"Please don't make me wait," Minho answers just as quietly, reaching out for him. 

Chan flicks the bottle open and pours some lube on his fingers. He spreads Minho's legs, and his hand disappears between them. Chan watches his face in awe as he starts to open him up. Minho pulls him into an open-mouthed kiss, arching into him as Chan adds another finger. As soon as Minho tells him he's ready, Chan grabs a condom and prepares himself quickly. He pushes in with slow, careful movements and can’t help but groan when he is fully buried inside him. "Fuck." 

Minho beams up at him, softly burying his fingers in his hair and pants at the pleasant stretch. He takes a moment to adjust before nodding. "Okay," he whispers, and Chan starts moving. He watches him full of adoration, brushing back a curl that's already sticking to his forehead, and places his hand on his neck, thumb fondling his cheek. Minho presses their foreheads together as Chan thrusts in deep, both moaning at the feeling. "Feels so good, Channie hyung," Minho tells him, and Chan growls softly at the honorifics. 

Chan's bracing himself on his lower arms, gently playing with Minho's hair. He leans into Minho's touch as the younger one caresses his cheek, and their lips brush together, moans and soft sounds of pleasure echoing between them. Minho's head falls back, toes curling as Chan manages to hit his prostate. His hand shoots up, nails burying themselves in Chan's shoulder. A punched-out sound leaves his lips as Chan buries his nose in his neck simultaneously, gently licking the spot he previously sunk his teeth into. "I got you," Chan rasps against his skin and hits his sweet spot again. Chan watches Minho’s face flood with pleasure, lips falling open with soft whimpers and moans. Moonlight dances across his dark hair, highlighting every significant feature of his face.

Minho chases his lips, moaning into the kiss loudly, and wraps his legs around Chan’s waist. “Don’t stop,” he pants, gripping his hair tightly. “So close…”

Chan kisses a trail down his jaw, keeping the same pace as Minho’s hips start to stutter beneath him. He reaches down between their bodies, wrapping his hand around his dick and pumping him fast. “Come for me, baby. Make a mess,” he rasps into his ear, and Minho does, whimpering his name as he paints their chests. Chan picks up the pace of his thrusts, knowing Minho only likes to be overstimulated when he’s in the mood for it.

Minho smiles at him lazily as Chan falls apart above him, lovingly fondling his hair as the older one collapses onto him. They lay still for a moment, both catching their breaths before Minho speaks up again. “We could’ve done that earlier, maybe you wouldn’t have been sulking all day then..”

Chan giggles and weakly punches his arm. “Fuck you.”

“I thought you did already,” he teases, kissing his hair. “I’m joking.”

“I know,” Chan snorts before pushing himself up. “We need a shower.”

“You still need dinner as well,” Minho reminds him.

“Yeah, about that,” Chan starts, and Minho snorts softly. 

“You’re addicted to that dish already, aren’t you?” he asks, and Chan blushes. “You always are when I try something new,” he giggles. 

“You know me too well,” Chan laughs. 

“Of course I do,” he smiles smugly. “And, of course, I’ll make it for a very late dinner,” he tells him and gently pats his back. “Now get off me, you big baby, before I get too lazy to move and decide differently,” he says, laughing as Chan does so immediately. 

After their shower, in the dim light of their bathroom, Minho sees the scratch marks he left on Chan’s back and contorts his face softly. He gently brushes his fingertips over them and meets Chan’s eyes through the mirror. “I’m sorry.”

Chan smirks before turning and wrapping his arms around him. “One of the reasons I call you kitten, it’s fine,” he assures him, and Minho fondly rolls his eyes at him. “Also, I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I can help you out with the English stuff at any time.”

Minho stares at him, amused for a moment, before squinting his eyes at him. “You know why that’s not a good idea?”

“Why?” he asks, clearly confused. 

“You’d have another excuse to fuck me stupid and blame it on me speaking English,” he smirks, and Chan’s jaw drops. 

“How is that bad?” he asks, playfully offended. 

“How is that helping with learning? I’d be distracted the whole time, and we’d get nothing done,” he protests. 

“It would work like a reward system, which is quite effective, by the way,” Chan smirks. 

“Oh wow, he’s speaking English, but somehow he can’t walk straight anymore. I wonder why,” Minho thinks out loud, and Chan starts laughing.

“Shut up, I was being nice,” he giggles. 

“I’m just being realistic,” he grins. 

“Buzzkill,” Chan snorts.

“Be nice, it’s my birthday,” Minho pouts playfully, squirming away and laughing as Chan tickles him.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies

[wokelander]

jesus what is with these save Leon ppl and their hard-on for mobilizing support for anti dc shit surrounding this man??? i've never seen such targeted harassment for someone writing incest fics. and there are dc creators in like my hero academia for the students😭 even seen dc outer banks and gilmore girls fics literally every single fandom has that side LMAO ??? like yeah they'll get the occasional hate ask and ppl starting discourse and shit. but never seen repeated attempts of creating a hate and harassment campaign against one specific person bc of writing dc. also bc im pretty sure i've seen other ppl write dc Leon fics but u get it the worst for some reason ?? you've suffered more than jesus fr🙏🏽 sending u so much love u don't deserve all this for writing fictional shit for a fictional man. he's not reallllll he doesn't need to be saved. i stg these ppl are absolutely batshit crazy it's not even funny. like imo it's more concerning than anyone writing incest fics bc okay u don't like it...but this isn't anything new. tumblr user wokelander is not the first person to write incest fanfic and she most certainly won't be the last. this makes me think it's ppl new to fandom spaces bc dark content is not a new phenomena. even if u delete ur blog and stop writing (pls don't i will die 😫) or they move to a different fandom, unfortunately for them incest/dc/pro-ship content isn't going anywhere! so they can be an adult and learn to curate their own online experience by muting keywords and tags or spend the rest of their miserable lives witch-hunting every dc writer they come across 🤷🏾‍♀️

sorry for the long ask i just think the hate you've gotten is so bizarre and u don't deserve it at all❤️❤️ pls don't let these ppl get in ur head❤️❤️

I’ve written in SO many different fandoms and I have gotten hate before but omg the leon girls are fucking crazy and this isn’t me trying to be like. Annoying ab it but I do genuinely believe that bc re got so much traction from re4r leon from tiktok and whatnot that it’s just brought in a load of people who are unfamiliar with re as a whole..

I’ve never written for re on tumblr but I’ve been in the fandom for years and I only used to post on ao3 and I never got backlash there? I also grew up reading weird re fanfics LMFAO so it’s like?? ok so why is this happening all of a sudden? fanfiction.net was FULL of leon being a creep when I was a kid LOL and even as a kid I had the fucking brains to scroll past shit I didn’t like? so man idek they’re just dumb

i also think it’s partially bc leon is a white guy who can do no wrong in their eyes golden retriever boyfriend who wants the best for everyone!!! nobody gets sent extreme hate for writing carlos ISTG it’s bc he’s a white boy like hello. they’re the worst!!!!

I am not the first to write dark content but like on leon tumblr I will say I wrote the first leon incest fic.. like not stepcest or pseudo cest even when u go on ao3 and put it in the tags I’m there first for actual incest 🔥🔥🔥🤣🤣🤣😊😊😊 so I guess people blame me bc now everyone writes dark content but?? they don’t? most of the re tag is full of fluff so … like I think these people see one fic and tweak out ab it and think everyone’s doing it man idk they’re so entitled there’s no point in reasoning with them it’s funny to me bc they quite literally talk like narcissistic abusers sometimes .. I say that as someone who has been thru that LOL like the way they speak in that self righteous tone is so..

HOWEVER. THIS IS RE !! the game is dark content the game has fucking incest in it ??? there are implications of rape! there is so much ugh. Idk but thank u for this ask ily!!! sorry for rambling ab nothing in particular

[fatuismooches]

here's to yame's usual response to your reblogs in the signature lengthy ask .. greetings suzu! 🤍

now to get the quick ones out of the way — i was DYING for someone to notice the contact name in "heart rhythm" and listen i was laughing my ass off the moment i decided on the name because on the other hand i had a cute theme in mind but i was like nah, let my crackheadedness show <3 and yes! i am a violinist :)

glad i could awaken the musical bone in you hehe. i actually posted a random post about a very specific idea i had featuring violinist reader and pianist kuni but that's a whole can of worms that i'd rather save for another time because .. well, my kabuki series lmao

now for the collection of birthday hcs i posted........ oh boy, let's go:

. kabukimono is actually so fucking proud of himself. especially so since i was running along with the imagery that is him being a mess in the kitchen, not only that; but you always occupy yourself with making him what he likes, why not reciprocate the gesture? he found out it was your birthday through niwa who urged you to come over for tea and have a chat. katsuragi spent just about the whole day to early afternoon looking for kabu only to see bro cooking up in your shared home, and katsu ended up tagging along! i like to imagine that kabu finds solace or some form of acceptance when he's around humans like you for instance; a human who sees him as one of their own. kabuki felt something akin to relief wash over him as katsuragi stuck around and helped him by providing tips on making your favorites for your birthday. he felt alive, human. and that smile of sheer delight on his face was not only because he saw your smile at his simple method to celebrate, but also because he felt accomplished. he repaid you for a simple gesture you never hesitated to do for him.

. kuronushi is a man of both words and actions. when it came to how he should make you happy, he surprisingly found a little bit of difficulty in figuring it out because and i quote, “knowing you're here is enough to make me smile, 'nushi.” so what? is he supposed to simply stay by your side for the remainder of the day? that simply won't do and isn't enough of a gift for you; an individual who practically made his existence more meaningful to him. such a simple gesture like staying by your side, while something he does more often than not, simply isn't enough as stated. and so, just exactly a day before your birthday, he excused himself by leaving a note that said he's out on an inspiration walk. by the time he arrived to kannazuka island, the atmosphere was exactly what he desired; partially cloudy with an auspicious breeze and most importantly, the stage was all his as his brush began to make short work of the once empty scrolls, and as cheesy as it sounds the dim and gentle lighting of the sun emitting from the clouds above reminded him of you. which helped immensely with his inspiration. honestly, a simple portrait isn't enough to capture your radiance, but if he had to give a gift he'd make with what he has, it'll be this for now.

. kunikuzushi is an interesting case. once unnecessary now an absolute fucking must as he simply looks at you while you sleep at an ungodly time of 2 a.m. a frustrated frown slowly but surely painting his face as he juices his non-existent brain out on how exactly he should make you smile on your supposed special day. the things he does for you, all due to those mind boggling emotions you allowed his mechanical heart to influence. the first time he took you to said café; people were staring. eyes not only on him but you, how come his benevolence be with an ordinary individual? on a simple get-together no less... he finds offense in the stares that were mainly on him, why? is it so strange for him to be sighted like this? foolish mortals won't begin to understand how he chooses to spend a day he deems dear to him. now breaking from writer ayame for a bit YOU'RE SO REAL ABOUT HIM JUST SNAPPING AT PEOPLE WHO WERE STARING ;; the next time he took you to that café at the same day, you were taken aback by seeing no one other than the workers in sight.

. somehow in someway, wanderer has found himself in the company of buer, the aranara and you — while nahida is partially correct about this being his idea; he meant only you along with him and the little sprout. not with the company of talking cabbages! but alas, here he was at the small table sitting by your side as his aranara lookalike is chatting the tea party away with along with nahida who's elated to finally know more of you. he couldn't bring himself to ( or rather was unable to ) convince nahida otherwise about her idea, not when you looked both interested and excited, more than willing to go. he was quiet for the most part, only deciding to chat if he was brought into the conversation which contradicting what i said earlier, he ended up using his voice quiet a lot; from indulging you in your lighthearted remarks to indulging nahida's playful inquiries and teasing. it felt a lot more like a family gathering than a birthday celebration, but if he to admit to himself at most, he enjoyed it while it lasted.

.. shit ayame you popped off for this one lmao BUT!! what's an ask ayame sends in reply without kuni brainrot? anyways <3

i did have a wonderful birthday, thank you very much! a lot of it was made through seeing your and many others' asks which i appreciate you all an incredible lot for! 🤍

and the izumi reference? yeah your welcome for the dose of soft angst <3

— signed, ayame.

AHHH AYAME THESE KILLED ME... (LOVINGLY) AND PLEASE THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN READING MESSAGES IS LOOK AT THE CONTACT NAME 😭 i love seeing silly names as the contact it's so cute 🥰 AND YES I DID SEE THAT!! and ugh i could just imagine the rivalry... the tension (i know nothing about music but i just know it'd be good) AND I SAW THE KABU DOLL YOU DREW!! THAT WAS SO ADORABLE!! 😭💗💗 so you can draw, write, and play the violin... *cutely steals your skills*

AHHH Kabukimono always making a mess of the kitchen but it gets ten times worse on your birthday because he's trying so hard 🥺 i imagine it's because not only is he cooking your favorite meal, but he's also cooking and preparing stuff to cook even more stuff for you later in the day. Look he is the kind of person to pull out all the stops for his darling. Kabuki is the kind of guy who probably slipped a few times in the kitchen because of how he's running all over the place but has gotten right back up like it's nothing. 😭 Once Katsuragi has seen the kind of madness he pulls he really doesn't know what to do other than sit the puppet down and lecture him on general safety and kitchen precautions. Kabuki feels a bit bad after that for making his friend worry. 😭 (And yes definitely. 🥺 Kabukimono definitely feels really accepted and at peace in the company of other kind humans. It's little things like this that make him feel like he truly belongs.)

UGH IM NGL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME LOVE-LOVE KURONUSHI. Like, i've always loved him because he's our beloved Kuni right? But i wasn't as attached to him since there's like, no lore or content for him, but YOU. you're making me love him. THE PAINTING? THE BRUSH AND SCROLLS? THE SCENERY? i love to think about laying on his lap or something while he draws or writes :(

DEJKFEBWKF SCARA AGONIZING OVER HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 😭 oh he so would. Because what do you mean he has to make you smile and laugh on your birthday? Those are just... foolish human customs. (That's what he says, in reality, Kuni is pacing back and forth wondering how best to please you. Sure, he may not care much for birthdays, but this is you. His love.) AHAHA let's be real, he snaps at anyone who dares to look at you, whether it's a bad way, a good way, a neutral way, he doesn't care. Look too long at his darling and you will have a snappy Balladeer on your ass. He does not play around and will take offense to anything when it comes to you. 😭💗

DONT TO THIS TO ME... THE FAMILY GATHERING. THAT'S ALL I WANT. I want to bond with Nahida and help Wanderer heal with her :( he deserves it, and she deserves loving people to talk to as well :( He may not talk much during the conversation. He may click his tongue and roll his eyes when an Aranara or two crawl into his lap or steal his hat to lay on. But he truly loves you two!! He's so happy to see his darling and his auntie bond!! (He's definitely going to sip on the specially prepared bitter tea though.)

[del-stars]

People need to understand that just because Regulus ended up betraying Voldemort, that does not excuse his actions and the fact that he was a racist piece of shit. He betrayed Voldemort because Voldemort wasn’t holding up to his end of the bargain. In fact, if anything, Voldemort betrayed Regulus first. Just because Regulus got upset and decided to do his little teenage wizard angst arc does not excuse the fact that he was a racist, f@cist, pure blood supremacist who does not deserve redemption.

this is so funny to me because i am.... not a regulus defense blog? i don't really post often about regulus (outside of my wip, which is an au and thus has nothing to do with anything you've just said). i think there's a anti regulus/jegulus anon who's been blindly sending hate as you clearly haven't scrolled through my blog but as i've been sick in bed for three days now and am thus bored out of my mind, let's write an essay :)

re: regulus being a DE, i quite literally do not disagree with you. regulus, to me, is at his most compelling when we consider all aspects of his canon storyline, including the fact that he worshipped voldemort. i find it really bland when he gets given sirius' storyline or is reduced to "my parents forced me to do this" because we know (again, canonically) that they didn't. it's interesting to have a character who made mistakes, and (considering my self-proclaimed bias in favor of all things sirius black) it's really just boring to remove all nuance from his and sirius' stories to just make them essentially identical.

in regard to voldemort betraying regulus first, i'm actually laughing because i have a big rant about this that i saved in my drafts last night wherein i, once again, do not disagree with you. the tl;dr of that was regulus probably felt betrayed upon discovering that voldemort was a half-blood (looove to imagine this was what he meant by 'your secret') who had disrespected what he considered his personal property. regulus, who had been forced to be #2 his entire life, was operating under someone he considered fundamentally less than, which he deemed unacceptable. again, we will literally never know the truth on this, because we're given such little detail in canon, so people can go whichever way they want.

but, in his defense, he was sixteen. apologies to all my sixteen year old followers, but your brain is quite literally not formed. you're in no place to make informed decisions about anything. and, if you've lived an incredibly sheltered life in which you've constantly seen someone physically abused and belittled, and then you're told "as long as you don't act like him, you won't end up like that," you're probably ripe for manipulation and radicalisation. regulus was heralded as the perfect son for being in slytherin and being a pureblood supremacist, and he knew the danger of disobeying his parents. so, yeah, he probably took it a little too far.

does this mean regulus was right in what he did? well, no. did he do the right thing in the end? maybe/kinda. did he die a misguided, sheltered child, and thus we have no real perception of the choices he would've made were he an informed human being? yes.

i think calling him a racist/f@cist is a very.... interesting choice, but i'll save that essay for another day. i don't think those terms are things we should be throwing around in fandom.

to conclude, i offer one sage piece of advice: touch grass. take an internet break. go for a walk. he isn't real. he's made-up. all of this is. you don't need to interact with it if you don't want to. scroll. block the tag. again, i hold some relatively controversial regulus opinions myself, but i happily scroll on when i see things i don't agree with. policing the marauders fandom is a slippery slope. you can think regulus stans are annoying/incorrect, but you cannot tell them to stop theorising on a character, because that is what this fandom is built on. if we stop encouraging one another to brainstorm about new characters, this fandom is going to become a very boring place to be.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @meyerlansky

How many works do you have on AO3? 773

What's your total AO3 word count? 2,059,396

What fandoms do you write for? I'm deep in Masters of the Air now, obviously. I've also written for Band of Brothers and Generation Kill. I dabble a LOT, so my overall fandom list is very long. Way back in the day I wrote a lot of West Wing. I did a lot of Guy/Kyle in Green Lantern, and then Law & Order: SVU ate my brain for several years even though I can't actually say the show was ever good. Oh, and I was in Avengers fandom hanging out with my fellow Phlint crew at one point.

Top Five Fics by Kudos Revenge is Best Served @ (Check Please, Jack/Bitty)

But I Will Hold on Hope (And I Won't Let You Choke (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

By the Book (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

These Are Our Friends, and These Are Our Foes (You're the One I Love Most (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

5 Scenes to Build a Team (+2 Scenes of Sweet Sweet Victory) (Avengers, Phil/Clint)

Do you respond to comments? Yup! Usually in batches. I really like doing it.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? You Would Live a Hundred Years If I Could Show You How (Law & Order, Jack McCoy/Mike Cutter) -- I killed Jack.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I tend to write happy endings most of the time, so you can really just pick one, but I think it's probably A New Mode of Living (Band of Brothers, Speirs/Lipton), and I'm including the epilogue with that.

Do you get hate on fics? Very occasionally. I just delete/block and move on.

Do you write smut? Oh my yes.

Craziest Crossover? I once had CJ Cregg go on a date with Big Bird. They had a lovely time.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yup! Someone stole a bunch of my Rita/Amanda fics from AO3 and slapped them on Wattpad with Amanda switched for Olivia but everything else verbatim. I reported the shit out of her, and when she moved over to AO3 and literally did the same thing, I reported her again. She accused me of bullying, naturally.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several! And I have blanket permission for my fics if anyone wants to translate anything. I would love if you'd link back to the original story so I know it's out there.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Eons ago there was a show called Without a Trace, and a friend and I took turns writing vignettes for the same couple. Same friend let me write a sequel to their Leo/Josh West Wing story, and we did a few more things like that. I don't think that any of those survive, however.

All time favorite ship? Speirs/Lipton, Band of Brothers. They are very important to me. They see each other in a very important way, and I treasure them.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? On the advice of counsel, I refuse to answer.

Seriously, though I don't really have that sort of WIP. Either I'm working on it (A Mighty, Vast, and Dangerous Place is still in active progress), or the idea didn't pan out (a bunch of stuff), or I actively chose to stop working on it (there's a Ted Lasso fic that I will never touch again).

What are your writing strengths? I do good character voices and can get the emotional response I want from readers. I have fun coming up with interesting descriptions.

What are your writing weaknesses? Losing steam. Getting distracted by a new fandom. From a writing-writing standpoint, I have a hard time remembering room layouts or where people are in them. I don't think visually, so I'm always having to scroll back up or make a note so I don't forget a piece of furniture or a whole guy.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I got no problems. It's about being able to understand the point of the conversation, not necessarily the words themselves. There's lots of ways to get it across while having the dialogue in a different language than the rest of the fic for whatever reason. But the use of the other language needs to fit the story and the characters, and if you're writing in another language, you better know it's quirks.

First fandom you wrote in? Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

Oh, god, it was Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers back when god was a child.

Oh, man. God, I just got the goofiest memories. I was SO into that show.

Favorite fic you've written? Oh advice of counsel, I plead the fifth.

Honestly, I don't know. It changes constantly.

Tags (very optional): um, @dytabytes, @infiniteeight8, @daysofxavierspast @sarahcakes613, @ralkana, @lunaris1013, and anyone who wants to. I swear I barely remember my own name when it comes to tagging time.

[awiderangeofgreen]

Hell Week (aka Mother's day week) is done so I can finally come back to this ^^ Thanks for the tags @lilmaemae and @ella-norah 💚

Do you tidy your bed?

No XD my bed is a giant nest and one of the house rule is "if you are looking for one of my belonging, look in the bed and at the computer desk first, then under a cat." 🤣

What's your favorite number?

I don't really have one but I don't like 27, its taste is just weird and I can't wait for my birthday just to leave 27 behind me

What is your job?

I'm a florist^^ I've been for 4 years now after I decided to quit college after my english degree.

If you could go back to school, would you?

No. I love to learn new things but school is a place with most of the worst memories (and a few bests too) . I had to go back to school for my florist diploma and the age gap made it really difficult add to this I'm bat at social interactions. If i considered going back to school it would be College for a translation master degree or do research around gender studies

Can you parallel park?

I love to. Fun fact: I parallel park better than other "easy" park 🤣

A job you had that would surprise people?

I worked for almost a year in a high court. First few months was photocopying files and giving them to lawyers and others asking for them. And then I moved to registry. It was a really fun work and made me realize you can write about anything crime related, it can never reach reality without having someone tell you "that's unrealistic"

Do you think aliens are real?

yes, the universe can't be so big without having more about it. maybe they don't exist in a way we can comprehend but there has to be something

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes. I've been for more than 8 years now. Manual cars are the standard around here.

What's your guilty pleasure?

collecting/hoarding books that I know I won't read XD because all my reading brain goes to ao3 and reading in english

Tattoos?

so far I have one of my tuxedo cat scratching my leg.

Now I'm waiting for money for the others. I already have one planned in memory of my 3 buns, just need to decide the flowers I want to go with it and find a tattoo artist specialized in watercolor tattoo.

the other one will be on my right forearm with an arrow with aroace colors and zodiacal signs ^^

Favorite color?

Malachite or emerald green

Favorite type of music?

It depends on the mood. If I want my brain to quiet down a little I'll listen to death metal or any "screaming" music. But if you look at my playlists it is just a mash up of everything. It goes from classical to rock to metal to pop and so on.

(Okay, let's be real for a second too: Jeff Satur is really taking over my music. I need him to give me back my soul)

Do you like puzzles?

i love them. The logic behind solving them is really soothing. With my sister we also try to have regular jigsaw puzzle afternoon ^^

Any phobias?

I wouldn't say it's a phobia but I can't stand slugs. I love snails but slugs? can't see them, can't touch them.

Favorite childhood sport?

i liked badminton at school or running but things like sprint. There's something brrrr about trying to go as fast as you can in a really short distance.

Do you talk to yourself?

all the time

What movie(s) do you adore?

thrillers? I don't know 🤣 I read this question and suddenly I'm unable to remember what I watch.

I don't really watch movies anymore because I don't have the focus to stay in front of them so most of the time it's my sister picking one and I "half" watch while scrolling on my phone or writing (and then I ask too many questions about the movie because it's good but I have no idea what happened)

Coffee or Tea?

Both

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

A veterinarian but then I did an internship and realized I couldn't handle some of the emotionnal sides of the job. But now I'm involved in animal welfare, I'm also a foster family for exotic pets and working on opening an educational farm 🤣 so... I didn't really go far from my first idea, just changed how I wanted to help animals.

I have no idea who to tag so if you see this and want to do it, feel free to say I tagged you

[moshieee-but-evil]

This is an oops moshie got emotional moment ~

don't mind me and just scroll on past but it's not like I can stop you just use your judgement

Make sure to read the tags first though

(my problems are mine and I just need to write and put them out there to process everything you don't need to do anything)

I want to be viewed as kind and to be kind to others don't get me wrong

...

Is it strange sometimes I worry people only see me as a kind person?

But... Does being kind count as a personality when it's the only thing to me, is that all I have to me?

And that makes me concerned, if i don't have a personality... does that mean I'm even fully a person?

This is how my anxiety works it digs into one thought and starts spiraling, maybe that's why I'm so good at picking up on small details... details that sometimes don't even mean anything

when talking to other people I try my best to choose my words carefully like they have the same problems

That's cute, it's fine, i'm fine...

Just a few of the words I try to avoid because they've hurt me in the past, even though I know not everyone has the same issues

I worry that if I choose a wrong word I could make others start to spiral as well, or that they'll dig into it and notice something is wrong

I try to treat everyone like they have the same kind of worries I do if not more, even though I know we're all different

Perhaps that's why I worry that they'll worry, about me if I make the slightest slip up, but I don't want to force my problems or emotions onto other people...

I grew up with two parents who did that constantly as I grew up and I know how awful that feeling of being trapped in trying to... In needing to help others is, I don't want that for anyone

I worry that if I let people care for me, to listen to my problems or try to help I'll be like my parents...

And even though I know people care about me, my brain sometimes tells me I won't get reassurance, and it will just hurt if I'm ignored, or just unnoticed

It makes me feel entitled when I make a small slip up and I feel hurt by it going unnoticed, which is selfish of me

People have no way of knowing, and I don't want them to worry and look into everything I say, I don't want to make this difficult for people who care, and yet I still do this...

Either way I don't know what I want, I don't even know what I want by saying this, perhaps to get it out of my head so I can look at my thoughts better, like if I was trying to reassure another person, to give them advice...

I don't know if I want reassurance or to be ignored because both feel awful, other people already have so many problems they need to deal with, they shouldn't have to deal with me being whiny about my feelings

I'm sorry if you decided to read this and it makes you feel like you need to reach out please please PLEASE know it's not necessary.

I won't stop anyone doing what they want. but do not, do it out of a feeling of obligation

And now that I got that out of my system, let's just move on!

I like keep things positive and I'll do my best to sort this out myself after all it's the reason I have a therapist!

Have a wonderful day everyone I love yall :D

[kalmiaphlox]

If You Give a Vampire a Polymorph Scroll Pt 1

AO3 Link / Masterlist

If you give a vampire a polymorph scroll, he's going to sow a little chaos. When he creates that chaos, he'll probably want someone by his side. When he has that someone, they are going to be very, very naughty.

Alternatively: Astarion turns Kalmia into a little lizard. They commit crimes and have fun because Astarion likes some chaos, and Kalmia will never deny him.

Main Tags: Tiny Dragon, Astarion wants some chaos, petty theft, ruining a festival, fluff

How quaint.

It's just them, all alone in this big house for a few days. No one to disturb, no one to interrupt. That means it's playtime.

His darling lizard is cleaning away, righting whatever mess she made for dinner, leaving it just as-it-was so not even Gale can complain upon their return. 

Oh, how he loves her. 

And how she loves him. 

They need some spice tonight though. Astarion has been plotting this for ages, ever since that first time. 

Kalmia will forgive him, she always does.

With her back to him as she scrubs at the counter tops, he unfurls the scroll in his hand, reading off the words there. Hopefully she doesn't resist the magic too much, he won't be able to escape the punishment for a failed attempt. “Mutatio Forma! ” 

In a burst of purple magic, where once stood a very charming woman, now lies a tiny bronze dragon. The rag she had been holding flops down on her body and she wiggles out in confusion as she takes in her changed appearance with a shriek. “You- Astarion! What do you think you're doing?!”

He sits on a stool with a malicious grin, pulling his legs up to protect them - not that she can hurt him like this. “I just wanted a little fun tonight, is that too much to ask?”

“Henich! Change me back!” She hisses and spits a small stream of celestial fire into the air. Awe, his little wyrm is throwing a tantrum. 

“I shall do no such thing, lizard. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this chance? Ah, ah! Watch the cabinets, you know Gale will notice any scuffs.”

The lizard is trying to reach him but the stool's legs aren't conducive to climbing, she just scrabbles fruitlessly at the wood.

Maybe he feels a little bad, Astarion won't torment his darling for too long when she can't fly. Of course, the second he picks her up around the midsection, the shrinking sickness kicks in and Kalmia is biting onto his wrist and arms like her life depends on it, but no harm comes to him. Funny as the scene is, he can't have her be mindless all night. 

Pulling a leather satchel from his pocket, he produces a small, round treat, “Your mother gave me these, she said it would help. Eat up.” And she does, barely even chewing as the treat goes down the gullet. Ravenous little freak.

Her emerald eyes blink up at him, some semblance of her lizard brain returning to normal. “You both are evil.”

“Yes, yes. You will have all night to remind me of said evilness. Now, shall we have some fun or would you rather pout?”

“Is it fun or trouble that we are having tonight?” 

He gives her a peck atop her snout. “Both, I hope. Let me change.” And with that, he deposits her on the countertop. Gale isn't here to shoo her away this time so she can have all the bread her lizard instincts command her to consume.

His clothes are already laid out in anticipation of this plan going well. And surprise, surprise, when Astarion returns back upstairs, Kalmia is gobbling up fruit left out in a bowl. He plucks her from her feast - is she already heavier? Gods below! - and places her around his shoulders where she cries for her lost meal. “Oh hush, I'll buy you more food at the market.”

“Why can't I enjoy it as myself , hmm? Think of how much nicer this could all be if we held hands , or I clung to your arm, or-”

Tempting… “Those can come later, little wyrm. Now be a good beastie for me and don't stray too far, I want to wander the festival stalls with a lizard on my shoulder.” 

She nibbles on his ear and this time he can actually feel the edges of her razor sharp teeth. Interesting. “Oh, so I don't even get to enjoy the festival? I'm stuck being a beast, like some- like shoulder-candy!”

“Hah! How right you are, darling. Off we go.” The portal sends them to Gale's tower in the Dock Ward, and their destination is the Sea Ward. The walk would be long on these crowded streets, but he spider-climbs up a roof, and hops to the next as Kalmia clings to his shoulder, grumbling constantly. 

She might not have said it in words, but clearly he's already been forgiven. The stubborn old wretch isn't one to go along with things lightly, but he doesn't doubt that she isn't already cooking up some just desserts . He'll enjoy what he can for the night until his retribution comes.

Finding an empty enough alley, they descend onto the streets, blending in with the rest of the crowd. Ahh, he should have left earlier to drop some orders off to Solixes’ and Leucian's stores, but his excitement at his little prank was too much, next time then.

Some magic festival is set up in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Waterdeep. These travelers know where to find the coin, but he's surprised that they could open here to begin with. Maybe this group caters to a higher clientele in general. 

Lucky for Astarion, he's filthy rich no thanks to the teeny dragon perched upon his shoulder. Not that he will ever spend a pearl of what she gives him. They belong to him now. 

“So, my love, we have a goal in mind tonight. Would you like to assist, be the proverbial devil on my shoulder?”

Kalmia rubs her warm, scaly neck against his cheek. “Oh, yes please.”

“There is a vendor here with the most luxurious fabrics I have ever laid eyes on, but darling, I don't want to pay the extravagant prices they've marked them up with. Even if they come straight from Myratma.” The pleading lilt in his voice is useless, she would help him even if he asked to slaughter every person on this street.

“And you need a distraction to steal it all?”

“I do! What do you say?”

There's a vicious glint in her glittering eyes. “There's a cart holding pseudodragons and faerie dragons that way,” She points with her snout. “Take me there and I'll create a very grand distraction.”

“Gods, I'm falling in love all over again.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Before we begin though, the food you promised me - and it must be bought.” 

Astarion groans in distaste but relents. “Fine!” He'll steal back what he can when their simple plan plays out. 

Drifting from meat to dessert stalls, he buys up everything his lizard points out. It's a damned fortune when her eyes are a thousand times bigger than her stomach. His mistake was offering in the first place, but he needs to keep the lizard brain engaged. 

A giant's feast now shoved away into his bags of holding and his wyrm devouring a meat skewer, he meanders his way to the cart selling the caged beasts. The fabric vendor isn't too far from here, once Kalmia is attending to her task, he'll be slipping into the shadows.

The creatures are definitely stuffed in too tight cages, it will probably be a relief to free them - if that is Kalmia's intentions. 

“What a magnificent specimen you have there, saer. In all my days, I haven't seen one with such colors or scale patterns. Did you breed that beauty yourself?” The shop owner inquires.

Breed her? It takes all his power to not sneer in disgust at the man. She's not some run of the mill lizard, sold to ignorant parents! She's a full (half)- blooded dragon! His partner, who just so happens to be small at this moment…

Containing his snobbery, if only for this conversation, Astarion gives a tight smile. “No, I just found the beast wandering the woods and it took a liking to me.”

“Ay, amazing what bonds these little beings can form. Shame it lost its wings though. If you see one you like, or better yet, want to pass along that one's lineage, let m-”

Whipping around and stalking off to a secluded corner, he rips the skewer out of Kalmia's grubby claws, “Hey! I'm not-”

“Little wyrm, when you create your distraction, make sure that man can't recover any of his goods and services. You have plenty of food, hop to it.” 

She growls like a cat before throwing herself to the ground. “Ugh, fine. Once this is done, I want to go to the beach.”

“As you wish.” He watches as she scampers off, weaving between people's legs and diving under stalls. When her green-tipped tail has slipped under the beast seller, Astarion takes that as his cue to get into position. Who knows what chaos this feral dragon is about to unleash.

Finding a scroll of gust of wind , he stands at the ready. Even if the fabrics get a little dirty, this endeavor will still be well worth the sacrifice. He needs these for his projects.

A shout from behind gets his attention. The beast seller’s clothes are lit up in white flames while all the captive creatures are in the process of being freed by one tiny green dragon. Each beast that escapes its cage launches forward onto unsuspecting patrons and vendors, burning, magicking and attacking everything in sight.

Maybe next time, that man will learn not to cage such creatures.

Taking this chance in the ensuing disorder, Astarion casts gust of wind down the street, upending stalls and tables so all their contents go flying. 

People are cowering in terror and calling for the citywatch, he isn't going to wait for them to show up. Quickly locating the silks and patterned textiles that have scattered across the ground, Astarion begins the arduous task of shoving them into his bags of holding. He's not the only one looting though and he might have punched a random woman in the face when she reached for a bolt of his fabric. 

Alright, he's collected all his spoils, there's no way he can steal back his gold from the food stalls at this point, he needs to grab that damnably old lizard and run. 

Is he surprised to see that she sits on a pile of crates up high, breathing fire like the fiend that she is? No, of course not. He does also spot the beast vendor, trying to get to her. Now that won't do. 

Astarion shoves the man to the ground, cutting loose his very heavy coin purse and attaching it to his own belt, he places his dagger against the man's throat. “If I ever see you again, know that I will gut you. A word of advice though - animal handling isn't really your thing. ” He'd relish the meal right now, but there's too many people. It can wait. 

Flinging herself onto his shoulders, they make haste before the citywatch shows up. All it takes is one wrong person recognizing what he is and escape becomes that much more perilous, and he'd rather not break the polymorph spell yet. They're having so much fun! 

Returning back to the crowd, Astarion listens as Kalmia directs him to the beach. It's not one of his favorite locales, on account of him not being able to step foot in the ocean, but she indulged him, so it's time to return the favor.

There’s a bite to the wind as they near the beach and he shivers, wishing he would have brought a warming enchantment, but alas, he'll have to rely on his personal heater for comfort. 

Unfortunately, that won't pan out as the second his boots hit the sand, Kalmia dives to the ground, little legs kicking it up as she sprints towards the water. 

My puddle-loving weirdo.

He follows at a distance, watching as she splashes in the shallows and cackling when she's buffeted by large waves.

This night could not have gone better. 

Pulling two blankets out of a bag, he lays one on the ground to sit on while the other is wrapped around his shoulders, not that it does much, but it cuts the worst of the chill.

The beach is completely empty, so his frenzied love is making the most of it, barreling from one end to the other, flailing about tripping on grasses and rocks. 

“Little wyrm, I'm feeling quite neglected at this moment. Where's my love and affection?” He whines.

Her head pokes up from some bushes, cocking curiously at his words before racing his way, taking a giant leap and landing with a splat before him. 

Astarion frowns, unimpressed. Kalmia crawls towards him with excitement. “Irthiski, look! Look, look, look!” She wiggles vigorously, burying her body in the sand with just her head and tail kept above. Seems the pellet her mother provided is wearing off, her mind is regressing.

One wicked turn deserves another, hmm? “You performed well back there. Would you like one of your treats?” The tone is mocking, speaking to her the way one might a pet, but she takes no notice as she bursts forth from the sand, and runs in circles chasing her tail. 

Ugh, he doesn't have the energy to entertain these deranged dragon antics. 

A treat is proffered and she gnaws at it as if she's never eaten a day in her life. Her tail curls around his ankle and Astarion, against his better judgment, can't help but smile. Wild as she is, he wouldn't have it any other way.

But maybe it's time to return to normal, he'd like to be warm and-

“Evening! Rarely see anyone out here at this time of night.” A well-to-do young man approaches them from the beach entrance. Short blonde hair, soft features, an unmistakable innocence to him… Definitely the kind of man Astarion would have brought to Cazador once upon a time. 

And also the kind he might be attracted to in general, but well, his tastes have evolved to angry old women. Or really just the one in front of him that is giving more attention to a chunk of meat than him.

Woe is me.

He offers him a small acknowledgement in the hopes that he continues on quickly, but that is a mistake, the man takes that as interest. 

“I haven't seen you around, did you come in with the caravan?”

“No.” Does he look like some traveling carnie? These high born types, always expecting others to play into their mild interest… He knows it all too well.

The man has stepped closer, he's probably pleasant, Astarion doesn't care. He wants to spend time alone with his dragon, uninterrupted. They get bothered enough at home.

He's unsure what is running through that little lizard brain right now. She's frozen mid-bite on her meat, staring blankly, maybe she understands he's getting hit on right now or maybe she's just lost in a food haze.

Freak.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

9 People You'd Like To Know More

I was tagged by @rocketturtle4 @pose4photoml @lurkingshan Thank you so much! 🧡

Last song:

I am totally in love with Yuuri and after scrolling through TikTok yesterday this love just got rekindled, so this song is playing on repeat since yesterday 😅

It is just so positive and a good balance for my slightly depressing playlist I made for my walks...especially "What was I made for?" by Billie Eilish from the Barbie Movie. Damn this song is beautiful and had a big part why I was crying in the movie theatre.

Currently Watching:

Dinosaur Love (it is so sad, that this list begins with this one...but I go by the alphabetical order...)

Hidden Agenda

Jun & Jun

King The Land (on episode 6, but I don't want to put it on-hold! I know it is sweet, but I don't have the energy for those long episodes...)

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (I finally caught up today)

Stay Still (still on epsiode 1)

Taikan Yoho (My Personal Weatherman)

Wedding Plan (since Be MY Favorite and Stay With Me ended this week, this has become my favorite watch of the week)

In my head Be My Favorite and Stay With Me didn't end this week...I am not ready to let go of them!

Currently Reading:

I am on page 9 or so. I love reading, but right now it is too exhausting. Not the book, I usually love his books, just reading in general. Because of back pain I am on medication and that is messing with my head...

Current Obsession:

Those two... I guess you can say I am a little bit obsessed with bl, yes and with queer media in general.

And besides that I let my hyperfixation decide what to be obsessed about tomorrow... I really hope it won't be an expensive new Five-Minutes-Hobby! I love my brain!

I think for the next five to ten hours it will be the redecoration of my bookshelf, filled with lots and lots of books I haven't read, but thought I need because I surely will read them all! Yeah... sure...

Well, that was fun!

I am tagging @leonpob @nieves-de-sugui @blmpff @ueasking @my-wandering-rabbit only if you want to and if you haven't participated already 💜

[astromechs]

one line, any fic

tagged by @seek--rest!!

tagging: (no obligation or pressure!) @kitausuret, @mattmurderock, @paperprinc3, @literatigeek, @mari--lace, @inkforhumanhands, @bisamwilson, @the-cones-of-dunshire, @sgtjamesrogers, @liminal-zone

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.

come, my friends, i will take you on a journey through my evolution as a writer....

Programmed (my first fic on ao3; published 12-19-2009)

Sam looked at GERTY. "We're not programs, GERTY. We're people."

For all his capabilities, GERTY had no response to that. His understanding, his malleable circuits, his complex internal machinery could only carry him so far. Though he had found loopholes in his own programming to suit his needs, he was, after all, limited by his mechanical brain. The subtleties and contradictions of the human mind would always elude him, no matter how hard he tried to run them through a logical algorithm.

And then his screen went black.

Triumph of the RIckRoll (published 12-24-2009; remains my comedic magnum opus tbqh)

Grimliglook hated the universe. No, not hated, he despised it, every minute atom of it. He hated the stars, he hated the planets, he hated the asteroids… he hated everything. It probably wasn't healthy for a mysterious alien being such as himself to go around carrying that much hatred, but he did anyway. That wasn't to say that the doctors didn't warn him, but he hated them too, so it didn't matter.

prelude to a kiss (published 6-30-2017)

"I ain't done anything, Star-Dick," Rocket says one day when Peter finally manages to corner him with the accusation, with the kind of smirk that suggests exactly the opposite. "Not my fault you got terrible timing."

i won't let you go (so don't let go of me) (published 8-3-2019)

A vague figure comes into her line of sight, and she freezes where she stands. The effort she’s already expended just to walk probably less than a hundred steps has already made her breaths labored and her legs weak. She knows doesn’t have the strength for a fight right now; the thought sits uneasily in her chest, and rises up to grab her by the throat. Fingers shaking, she instinctively reaches for the gun she no longer has, then lets her hand drop uselessly to her side.

anything that's worth my love (is worth the fight) (published 11-17-2019)

They stand there for a time in silence, Peter looking as lost and haunted as he feels. There’s nothing to say, anyway; no platitudes will bring the planet back, gallows humor can only go so far, and with both of those options gone, well. That’s it.

slipped away into a moment in time ('cause it was never mine) (published 8-30-2020)

Foolishly, she doesn’t fight it. But what’s most foolish of all is that in the warmth of his embrace, she almost lets herself believe him.

keep whatever it is (that's compelling you on) (published 9-9-2021)

He wakes with a start, drenched in a cold sweat (as cold as their last kiss), gasping for breath. Next to him on the bed, Natalie stirs and shifts closer; when he reaches out a tentative hand, lets his fingers graze over her stomach, she’s warm.

His eyes scrunch tightly shut. Code falls behind his lids like the rain that patters against the windows outside.

if we dare to dream (at the end of the scene) (published 9-23-2021)

In that place, there’s a whole lot of good; he sinks into it and it seeps into every part of him, and even if it doesn’t erode his scars or make the pain of everything they’ve been through magically disappear (nothing can do that), it’s within his reach. Something he can hold onto for a while, that he doesn’t have to worry about slipping through his fingers right away.

it's miserable and magical, oh yeah (published 6-27-2022)

Ammo’s expensive, okay? Especially for someone who’s barely pulling in above minimum wage. He’s just trying to save it for when he really needs it.

the devil makes us sin (but we like it when we're spinning in his grip) (published 10-19-2022)

“In case you didn’t notice,” Jessica tosses back his way, “I’m already doing something for you. That’s the whole point of this. You don’t get to negotiate more terms. How do I know more about this than an actual lawyer?”

diesel is desire (you were playin' with fire) (published 11-10-2022)

Instead, something that resembles a fraction of a laugh huffs out of her mouth. “I never said anything about being together ,” she says. “You came to that conclusion all on your own.” If she notices the way that his brows lift, she chooses to ignore it, pressing on. “We’re playing a part. The more convincing, the more painless it’ll be. So — back straight; you’re slouching like a teenage boy. You’ll never pass for society if you slouch .”

With an exasperated sigh, he complies.

[rosaiel]

[There's art down below for those curious! I just talk a lot, sorry lmao]

Since I've been very quiet, I figured I'd give a small update; within the last few weeks I was able to reconnect with my friend @/maskedlin (not sure if you'd be okay with being tagged or not) and she encouraged me to take an old universe of mine that I had been working on years ago but lost a bunch of information on, and turn what little I still had and could remember into a Zelda AU since it was an idea I was toying with, due to the fact that I always underhandedly associated this universe with Zelda seeing as how Zelda was one of my big inspirations for the universe (alongside The Elder Scrolls series, Final Fantasy 12, Okami, and The Witcher series).

I don't have too much developed in this AU yet; not even a proper name (like I said I've only been working on it for a couple of weeks now, forgive me) but in doing so I've been able to revive and rework an old OC of mine that I haven't touched in years (she was the main protagonist in my universe), and has also given me the chance to rework a bunch of other 'dead in the water' OCs as well.

In this AU, I have taken my original universe (named Feldris) and reduced it to a neighboring country beside Hyrule, given this universe has a much more 'high fantasy' feel. In the original version of Feldris, the most prominent race there were the Aku'Rae (an elven race- think kinda like your Wood Elves/Bosmer from The Elder Scrolls; they live in trees, but in a very dense jungle-quese forest that's brimming with magical, mystical energy, who have abilities more along the lines of the of you Cleric, Druid, and Bard classes, just a tad bit more "feral" if you will), which have now been renamed to the Hylu'Rae; they are essentially a sub-species to the Hylians as they had split off from the Hylians eons ago when Hyrule and Feldris were first being established, due to a dispute between the Hylian clans when trying to unite them, and thus they split off and settled in Feldris instead of Hyrule. Due to Feldris' vastly different environment and biomes in comparison to Hyrule's, this clan evolved over thousands and thousands of generations to adapt to the environment, becoming the Hylu'Rae we know today. With that in mind, let me introduce the main protagonist to my AU (besides Link of course lmao), Shani'Lynn! She goes by 'Shani' for short.

I won't go too much into the details of the Hylu'Rae just yet, as I plan on making detailed reference sheets for the Hylu'Rae and all of my versions of the race in my AU in due time, but Shani's basic reference should give you enough of an idea of their differences from the Hylians.

Anyways, I'm very proud of Shani and I plan on designing more travel related outfits for her along with some weapons as well. I'm very excited to more on her and my AU more!!! c:

-

In other news; fir those of you watching me for my Pokémon content with my persona; no, this Zelda AU will not replace that at all. Pokémon is my main special interest and invades my brain 24/7. This Zelda AU will simply be something I work on alongside my Pokémon content.

-

ALSO- Go check out my girl @/maskedlin's Zelda AU fanfic 'Magic's Wake' on Ao3!!! >:O iwillfightyouifyoudont

[luthienmpl]

Watching/Rewatching/Planning to Watch List

I was tagged for this weeks and weeks ago by @mellens but I kept not doing it because I was stuck in a MUST!FINISH!STICHING PROJECTS!!!! phase and was watching quite literally nothing at all except Critical Role (no need to read subtitles or even look at the video footage most of the time with that one), so my list would have been very uninteresting for readers and frustrating for me personally. However I have now FINISHED THE PROJECTS (YAAAAY!!!) and am trying to coax my brain out of hyper fixation mode and back into watching some stuff. I'm partially doing this post now to hold myself accountable, lest I end up just aimlessly scrolling through tumblr still not watching anything instead.

Watching:

Between Us: I'm uhhhh *checks Wabi Sabi page* in ep 4. I watched 4 1/4 probably like.... 3 weeks ago? I will start this ep over this week probably. I'm enjoying it so far and like many others, it gives me an urge to rewatch UWMA.

My Tooth Your Love: I had to log back into Viki to check where I was, that's how long it's been. Apparently I have watched eps 1-4. I watched this more casually while I was still keeping up with it but I do wanna know where they're going with bar-owner's trauma induced anxiety issues (literally I can't remember what anybody is called in this, it's been so long) so I'll probs pick it up again at some point.

Big Dragon: Gaga tells me the last ep I watched was ep 5. I did quite enjoy that one while it was going even though it's ridiculous, the problem is that I've been spoiled a lot with this one so there's less of an urgency to pick it up again. On the other hand there's only 3 episodes left so it still shouldn't be much of a problem to finish.

My School President: This is the first show I have picked up to get myself back into watching mode, I started it Friday night and caught up with it yesterday evening. It's very cute, and surprisingly I'm enjoying all of the singing so far.

Dropping: I was watching Remember Me and Eternal Yesterday before the big break but from what I've heard Remember Me has gone off the rails hard and Eternal Yesterday ended about as you'd expect so I think won't bother with either of them.

Re-watching: Bad Buddy. I ran out of Critical Role and I was obsessed with BBS enough while it was first released that I can just let that one run in the background without looking at it a lot and still follow what's happening. Ngl though, the evening that I hit the Rooftop Kiss not a lot of stitching got done.

Planning to Watch:

Those coffee shop shorts that Vibie is putting out: I loved GHGH and am not averse to seeing more of Boy and Tod (also i hear there's a GL ep!)

GAP: I WILL START IT TODAY. I WILL OKAY. LISTEN THE SHOW IS JUST.... !!GAP!! IN MY MIND OKAY IT'S LIKE A BIG DEAL SO THAT TRANSLATES INTO ME BEING RELUCTANT TO START IT FOR SOME REASON? I DON'T UNDERSTAND EITHER BUT I'M STRUGGLING UGH IT'S LIKE

Never Let Me Go: I hated FUTS and dropped it halfway through but it's not like the bad writing was the actors' fault and I hear good things about this one so far, so yes.

609 Bedtime Stories: I'd like to see OhmFluke in something other than UWMA but the Sunshine Night one certainly Wasn't It so I'm hoping this one is at least a little better. It's low priority though, I'll get to it when (if) I'll get to it.

History 5: I was not impressed with H4 At All but, well. It's still History. I hear there's time travel involved somehow? At least that's creative.

I'm vaguely aware there's a couple Korean office ones floating about, I'll probs watch those ones eventually, but the Korean stuff is so short that half the ones I've watched had no emotional impact on me at all, so they're also low priority currently.

Feel free to leave recommendations in the notes, I'm pretty out of the loop and unaware of release dates atm.

As I feel like I'm the Last Fucking Person to do this and I know quite a lot of my long time mutuals have done their lists already, let's take this as an opportunity to get to know some newer follows a little better. So I'm tagging @boosnbugs, @aliceisathome and @chimerasinourskyline. Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna and sorry if you made a list already that I'm unaware of.

[blushstories]

hi! hope you're okay! :)

i just wanted to maybe explain a bit of the perspective of people who don't reblog stuff on here, not trying to justify anything because i'm aware that writers deserve to be recognized for their work and people should share it when they're able, but there are a lot of reasons why people don't reblog anything!

in my case i used to not reblog a lot if not at all because i read like 50 things a day and i felt like it would be annoying for the people that follows me to have their timeline full of my reblogs, especially because most of them were from different fandoms and had completely opposite interests, also it made me feel so anxious because there's stuff i don't want people to know about me that's maybe visible on the things i read (or at least it felt like that in my anxious brain) and i'm sure other people have other reasons and again, i know it's not fair and it doesn't justify anything, but everyone is different! as for me, now i reblog everything i read/enjoy, but it was really hard to let my anxiety about it go!

anyway, maybe this won't help at all and i'm sorry if it's inconvenient or upsetting!

i absolutely love everything you write and i hope i can read more of your work soon! :)

hello! thank you!

i do understand that perspective, and i absolutely can see those fears but i think it’s more than just being ‘recognised’, and i’ll explain why!

firstly, yeah being conscious of your followers is totally fair, however the beauty of tumblr is that you can make sideblogs, or tell your followers to blacklist/filter a specific tag so that their timelines arent clogged! even just queuing the posts gives a chance for them to scroll by if they want. ofc certain tws make sense to not share with followers who know you tho.

sometimes it isnt even about reblogs specifically; if someone left a comment or ask instead of a reblog that’s more than enough! the problem with just liking posts is that it creates a really consumerist experience on tumblr, which is first and foremost a blogging platform: so when i see empty blogs and their like pages are just full of fics i bluescreen a bit. these days, the like to reblog ratio of literally every artist (writer, fanart) is really really sad to see, their audiences just consume it without even sending a kind thought to the creator!!! doesnt that make your heart ache??

imagine a small town. everybody knows everybody, small businesses everywhere trading their own products to share the love and hyping up each other’s babies (their passions). that’s how i imagine blogs, and so when i see spam likes without reblogs, or a “part 2 when??!” when said person hasnt even commented before or reblogged, it transforms my blog from a community space where we share thoughts about blorbos into a product that only serves to entertain.

i really dont care about followers or note counts; i do care about having conversations with anyone who decides to hang around, if that’s a reblog chain or an ask or a comment thread then that’s how it is! we can talk headcanons or daydreams (within reason) or just generally chat!

i just cannot describe how crushing it feels when i open my notifs and only see likes. it makes me close the app straight away because there’s no one to interact with. also, it gives the message that someone read my fic, and liked it, but not enough to share it with their friends.

i hope that clears it up a bit more! it’s not a vanity or note count thing, if you comment or send an ask about a fic that’s exactly the same thing! thank you for reading and let me tell you i say this with nothing but love.

[awakefor48hours]

3, 8, 13, 14, 18, 19, and 22?

Salty Ask Game

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

I have not actually. If someone I follow likes something in canon I don't (or vice versa) I just do my best to ignore it and block tags when needed.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

YEP. I don't usually respond to it and I won't mention it because it can be triggering but I've gotten PLENTY of anon hate.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

For this, I just put a bunch of my blorbos in a spinner and got Luz so let's do her. For the most part, I feel like I have a lot of the same opinions as most people in the fandom but I think the most unpopular opinion is that her relationship with her mom has always been good.

When Luz made it to the Boiling Isles, she always thought of mom. She made videos for her, brought a picture of the two them together, and fought specifically to see her mom again after the portal was destroyed. Camila has always loved Luz and done the best she could to make sure that Luz would have a good life.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I'm just gonna use TOH for this as I'm in A LOT of fandoms but seeing as how the fandom is kinda dying down now, it's hard to say what exactly but one thing about it back when the show was coming out is the constant huntlow hate. There's a lot I can say on this topic but just to keep it simple, I'll just say that this fandom definitely has some liars because when gold/rick was getting popular, no one really batted an eye to it despite not knowing a thing about Hunter or the fact that they've never even interacted. Then after Willow and Hunter had several heartfelt moments together, suddenly everyone's going around screaming that Huntlow is underdeveloped.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

I wouldn't say that. I've had times when I don't ship the popular ship in the fandom and it's just because it doesn't compel me. Let's take the RWBY fandom (FNDM) for an example. The most popular ship in the FNDM is Yang and Blake but I don't ship it, I actually like Ruby and Blake more than that. There's no reason to it, that's just how my brain works.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Once again, I'm using TOH because I'm in a lot of fandoms. I feel like I've made my hatred of Belos clear so here's a new thing: the tunnel vision on lumity. I love lumity, I think this is obvious, but so often when you hear people talk about TOH or even just scroll through the tags, you'll just be bombarded by lumity and just classify The Owl House as the yuri isekai cartoon.

22. Popular character you hate?

ALADOR (kinda). When Alador was first introduced, I got so annoyed seeing people constantly talk about how he's "so neurodivergent" and bi (especially since the literal protagonist is canonically neurodivergent and bi) yet would shit on Odalia. From our perspectives, until Clouds on the Horizon, Alador was just as bad as Odalia but because he liked bugs and did things a little weird, everyone suddenly developed amnesia about the fact that he's the one who made Amity befriend Boscha and Skara and also threatened to kick Willow out of Hexside.

I don't hate Alador too much anymore because the cancellation of the show definitely shot his redemption arc in the foot and I can tell what Dana wanted to do with him. Other than that, the way that the fandom treats him just shows how white male characters can basically get away with murder.