#i was planning on writing fluff but I realized i actually crave angst again
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noa-ciharu · 1 year ago
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I love your seisub content, so pls continue with it despite other people not being into the ship. It scratches that itch in me that wants angsty, fucked up shit that I can't find in bl manga without it being full of other stuff I'm not into. You made me come back to reading fanfic after not reading it for over 10 years lol. (Also reminder that I'm still dying for the continuation of the seisub ghost fic you have ajsjejskwk)
Thank you so much, I'm glad to hear that 🥺 ofc I'll be still writing seisub, I don't see myself getting out of fandom anytime soon. But I just don't see myself spending hours writing prompts on tumblr for less than 10 notes. But maybe that's for the best since it gives me more time to focus on actual fics
And you're 1000% on point about seisub having that special something which is hard to find in other ships. It rly scratches that itch for angst, freedom of expression given the 0 limitations and catharsis. Also today I sat and wrote 2k of that fic. Your message reminded me of how much I actually love that fic despite it being the most difficult thing to write (constant metaphors + character study + getting into psyche of two deeply complex characters + all the tension between them). I'm at 6k now, I'll try to get it somewhere between 10k and 15k and then finally update it 💕 thanks for motivation
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jo-harrington · 8 months ago
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Longevity (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Summary: Longevity (noun) - continuance; durability; permanence
Previous Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.06
Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. (For now.) Fluff, a little angst, discussions of the future, vignettes/time jumps, smut, HEA.
Note: Alright here it is, and it is a HONKING CHAPTER. But how could I break it up into pieces when it's The End? I'm tucking my little babies into the dollhouse and closing it up so they can live on the rest of their lives. To Eddie and Store Manager, I love you both dearly and you were the thing that brought me back to writing and into a wonderful community of writers and readers. To everyone reading, thank you so much for your endless support. You will never know how much it's appreciated.
You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager and all of my other writing. Seriously, go read it.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
---
April 1986
"Ope, if it isn't the man of the hour, Mr. Edward G. Robinson himself. We were just talking about you."
That was the greeting that found Eddie as he walked into Claire's after school on a lovely Thursday afternoon, ready to share some good news before his closing shift.
Great news, actually, if he was being honest. Life-changing news that he was sure would earn him a ton of kisses that he'd been craving after a long week of assignments and standardized tests.
Imagine his surprise then, that instead of finding you and Mindy behind the counter, chatting after a supposed "big visit" you'd told him that you had today, you still had company.
He skidded to a halt at the sight. Your guest smiled up at him with her hands on her hips.
Short in stature, blonde hair in pristine victory rolls, bold makeup that consisted of layers of glittery eyeshadow, and wrists adorned with stacks of multicolored scrunchies.
"It's nice to see you again Jen," he greeted your old Store Manager.
He'd only met her in person once, but had heard countless fond and semi-unbelievable stories about her from you--and apparently she'd heard the same about him, having greeted him with a bone-crushing hug the first time they met—so there was a familiarity and fondness there that they both indulged.
"What are you doing here?" he asked casually and crossed the distance to throw an arm over your shoulder and press a kiss to your temple. "I thought you said that you wouldn't be caught dead in Indiana."
You, Mindy, and Jen all broke out in a fit of giggles and Eddie felt a sudden sense of instinctual dread.
"Well then get ready to start planning my funeral kid," Jen announced. "Because you're about to start seeing a lot more of me."
"Jen just got promoted," you interjected finally.
"Oh yeah?"
"To District Manager. So she's gonna be my boss. Again."
"Oh, shi--shoot," Eddie felt like he'd been doused with cold water at the revelation. He peeled his arm from around your shoulder and took a wide step to put distance between the two of you. "That's...wow. Congratulations."
He'd been through a handful of DM visits at TapeWorld, never on his own, always under Kyle's cool guidance; however, he'd come to realize that the stiff authority figure of his District Manager Jeff was something to be feared.
So even though he was excited for Jen--your friend--on her promotion, the sudden realization that Jen--your boss--was standing here watching him make an idiot out of himself and possibly put your job at risk...
"Oh my god," Jen broke down in a fit of laughter. "Look at him, he's about to shit himself. Take a chill pill Ed, Jesus. I’m not gonna be a hardass until next week. If that.”
Once everyone had their fill of laughter, and Jen promised that she wasn't going to hold your relationship over your head--
"So long as you're not in here interfering with the business or making out on the sales floor or something."
--Eddie pulled you to the side and finally revealed his big news.
"So," he began excitedly. "It, uh, looks like I'm on the road to graduation. Like really graduating. Not just 'if I don't fuck it up in the home stretch' this time. I'm actually gonna graduate."
"Oh my god," you grabbed him by his jacket and shook him as joy bubbled in his chest from your reaction. "Eddie that's amazing!"
You asked him a few questions and your eyes sparkled proudly as he recounted his talk with his guidance counselor, and he couldn't help the smile that stayed on his face the entire time. Especially when you let out a shriek of joy and jumped around.
"We need to go and celebrate!" you insisted.
"I mean," he suddenly got bashful. "I haven't graduated yet."
"Still, it's big. You worked so hard." You looked back over at Jen and Mindy who were talking at the cash wrap. "I know you're closing tonight but I'm taking Jen out for drinks a little later. When you get out of work, meet us at the Hideaway. I'll get you the Wayne and a beer. And then afterwards, uh...if you wanna come back to my place? Like...actually celebrate?”
He grinned and nodded eagerly; you'd taken the words right out of his mouth.
---
His shift had gone by quickly and he’d joined you and Jen at the Hideaway with Kyle in tow. Kyle who was not only proud of Eddie and wanted to treat him to a beer for his efforts, but also intrigued at the possibility of schmoozing a pretty new face in town.
“Sometimes,” he announced with a flourish when he returned to StarCourt right before store close, dressed in the nicest clothes Eddie had ever seen him wear. “You need to take a chance. How many times did I tell you that kid? You miss all the chances you don’t take. That’s why it took you so long to get a girlfriend.”
Jen, unfortunately, laughed right in Kyle’s face when he kissed her hand upon introduction.
“I’m engaged, Romeo,” she informed him. “Sorry.”
“I don’t see a ring. You can let me down Jenny. Tell me the truth, I won’t be hurt.”
“You’re sweet. But it’s the truth. I just don’t wear the ring to work.”
“Alright, alright,” He sighed, then got a sly look. “Any chance you have a sister? Or a brother? I’m an equal opportunity man looking for true love.”
The night was filled with hearty food, rounds of beer, fantastical stories of retail hell and 4th Quarters past, and accomplishments on everyone’s part.
Kyle bragged about a new car he had just put a down payment on.
Your store had hit some Diamond Earring milestone that only you and Jen seemed to understand but the excitement was contagious.
Eddie got a round of applause from the table when you urged him to announce his big news to everyone.
Honestly he couldn’t care about Kyle or Jen’s reaction, it was seeing you look at him with all the pride and affection in the world that he basked in. He couldn’t wait for the actual graduation ceremony, for you to be front and center with Wayne and Rick and all of his friends. There to witness his hard work come to fruition…and for him to flip Principal Higgins off.
And then Jen stood up and announced her own accomplishment right before last call.
“So,” she cleared her throat and held up her glass and pulled something out of her coat. “I know I already celebrated back home and I don’t really know either of you, Kyle and Ed, but I know my little protégée here would be happy for me.
”Alongside my wonderful and well-earned promotion to DM, I also received my Longevity pin.”
She opened a little velvet jewelry box and showed off a tiny glittering purple pin with a tiny little diamond chip in place of the dot of the “I” in Claire’s.
“Ten long years,” Jen announced after a swig of her beer, “with the Purple Glitter Factory. And all I have to show for it is a pin, a little more money, and a lot more responsibility. God. Growing up sucks. But I’m very proud. And you’re next kid.”
She laid a hand on your head and you waved her off with visible embarrassment then disappeared to go and close out your tabs.
Later that night as you and Eddie settled into bed to sleep after some celebratory activities, Eddie laid awake and stared at the ceiling. Thinking.
“What are your plans for the future?” He asked after a beat.
“Uh,” you shifted your head on his shoulder so you could look at him. “Is this because of all of Jen’s talk of careers and stuff?”
“Yeah. And graduation. And all of that stuff. So? What do you wanna do…where do you wanna be…when you’re older?”
“God, I dunno. I got my associates in business because I was hoping it would help me get my own store. And I did. It also was so boring, I don’t want to go back to school. I guess the next thing is…actually take a vacation day now that I’m earning them. What about you?”
“Music legend,” he answered immediately.
“Uh huh.”
“Guess that’s gonna take some work though, huh?”
“No shit.” You rolled your eyes and then sighed as you settled against him once again. “There’s a reason you asked, Ed. What’s going on in that big head of yours?”
He ran his tongue along the seam of his lips repeatedly as he considered…everything that was laid out in front of him.
Corroded Coffin.
Tape World.
What about Hellfire? Damn, he knew Dustin and Will were the future of the club but…a few years down the line. What about next year? He was gonna have to pass the torch to Gare or Dave after he left. They weren’t ready yet.
And what was he gonna do after school was over? Could he see himself taking a class at TCCC? Maybe. Jeff had been showing him the Catalog at lunch the other day. There was a Creative Writing course that looked cool.
10 years.
That was half his life away. Impossible to imagine. Would there be flying cars by then? Space travel? He could enlist in Starfleet, meet Captain Kirk. Ok maybe that last one was stupid.
"10 years,” Eddie whispered into the top of your head as he rid himself of the fantastical thoughts. “That’s an awful long time.”
“Well it’s a good thing we have all that time to figure it out.”
We…
“Yeah. Yeah we do.”
He could only hope you’d still be there with him. One way or another.
---
July 1987
The spot lights were blinding and the air thick with humidity; his throat was dry and his fingers ached from how hard he was on the fretboard.
But the crowd was cheering and that’s all that mattered right?
No, what really mattered was the music.
And the band.
That's why he was up here with his friends, demolishing the bridge of The Sentinel, laughing and jumping and barely giving a shit when he missed a note or Jeff’s fingers fumbled or Gareth lost the beat for a second. He didn't even mind that the County Clerk had them censor out the "cuss words" of the songs they'd chosen.
It was exhilarating just to be able to play on an actual stage.
It had taken 2 years but they were finally playing at the Roane County 4th of July Festival. An actual gig. And not the first one they'd played, but certainly the biggest so far. Big enough and successful enough that Eddie expected it to be a standing gig for the foreseeable future.
The Polka Band from Kenosha hadn't gotten nearly half as many people and they were, by far, the most successful act of the night before Corroded Coffin.
There was a sea of friends, neighbors, families, and out-of-towners just below the stage, snacks and drinks in-hand, as they danced and jumped and headbanged to song after song. Rick and Wayne were out at Benny's getting all set up for the next stop on Corroded Coffin's "Independence Day Tour" but you were out there in the crowd with Mindy and her family, singing along and cheering louder than everyone whenever a song ended.
Which was why Eddie didn't hesitate to dedicate the final song of the set to you.
"This next one isn't our usual sound," he spoke into the microphone, words a little muffled as his lips brushed against it. "It's a little slow. Something you can dance to, so gentlemen please grab your ladies, tell them how much you love them. But before we begin...did you all know...it's almost Back to School time."
There was a series of boo's from the crowd.
"Now now, maybe yet not for you all, but definitely for a special someone out there," he shushed them and traded Sweetheart for his mom's old acoustic guitar. He plucked a few notes and then continued. "A special someone...who leaves me all alone every once in a while. Late nights. Lonely nights while I wait by the phone, as she and her team make magic happen and she forgets all about me. See I'm saying all of this because she's about to leave me high and dry this coming Sunday night, so I have to guilt her a little otherwise she won't let me surprise her with hash browns and coffee when she gets out of work.
"Queen of Glitter Kingdom," Eddie squinted and looked around the crowd until he found you standing there holding your hand over Mindy's mouth as she looked like she was about to cry. He pointed right at you. "My life, my world, my cheeseburger. This one's for you."
He and Jeff then began to harmonize their guitars for the opening of Beth.
---
"You're a shithead, you know that."
"Mmm...but I'm your shithead, sweetheart."
It was late. Wayne, Rick, and the guys had all left. You and Eddie were sitting across from each other in a booth at Benny's, as the last few fair-goers trickled in for a late night snack. Your own dinner sat half-eaten on the table between you--patty melts and an apple pie shake to share--as you talked and laughed and played footsie.
He and the boys needed to rush across town after their set was over so they made it in time for Ben's advertised happy hour, so he hadn't gotten the chance to get an earful or a kiss from you after his little spectacle.
Fortunately, you were giving him hell for it now, and although he was wiped, he gladly accepted your teasing wrath.
"Is Wayne still around?" You turned in your seat and looked at the sparse group of customers. "I'd like to make a return."
"Mmm...well I moved out in January so I think it's after the 90-day return policy," he said matter-of-factly.
"God damn it," you laughed and snapped your fingers. "And I think I lost the receipt too."
"Stuck with me forever," he teased in a sing-song. There was a beat and he straightened up in his seat and drummed a rhythm on the table with his knuckles. "So...I think it went well."
"I think so too," you agreed brightly.
"You know, Jeff found some...Septemberfest thing out in Jasper..."
Your eyes sparkled at Eddie's words, and he felt the flutter of butterflies deep inside of him that always kicked up when you gave him your excitement and encouragement.
“It’s not a competition or anything but there’s a prize for most popular act of the weekend. Audience ballot and everything. I think it would be cool.”
"That's great!" you grinned. "You should go for it."
"But it's Labor Day weekend."
"So?"
"Paulie's going for a promotion," he shrugged. "Kyle's gonna want us all there in case Jeff comes for a visit."
"And? I didn't know Paulie was planning on opening for Corroded Coffin. What's he playing? The kazoo?" you joked.
"Well no," Eddie shook his head. "But if he leaves...I mean, I'm the best bet for FTASM. I don't want to lose out on that for the future. That'd be...the money would be nice. Can do some repairs on the van. Maybe I'd get my own store someday too."
Your face crumpled--brows furrowed and lips pursed--and you didn't hesitate to shuffle out from your side of the booth and kneel beside him on his. You placed a hand on his forehead for a moment and then tilted his head back and forth.
"Uh, sweetheart," he placed a hand on your waist to steady you as you shuffled closer to pull the back the neck of his t-shirt to look for something. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to see if my Rockstar Eddie Munson action figure is broken," you explained.
"Uhhh."
"Or at least if I accidentally left him at the fair and picked up a Corporate Shill Eddie action figure instead?"
"What?" he laughed.
"How about Suburban Dad Eddie?" you asked. You straightened your posture, pulled on non-existent suspenders, and lowered your voice comedically. "Gotta prepare for tax season. Cut the grass. Do some repairs on the van."
"Stop," he pulled you down to sit beside him in the booth. "I just...don't wanna take the chance on that when I know the full time position is a sure thing."
"Ed," you shook your head at him. "I know you like Tape World but...promotions always come around, music is your dream."
"I know."
"Why did you tell me about this Septemberfest thing if you were not gonna go through with it anyway?"
"I dunno," he turned away from you and went to grab the shake. "I guess I just wanted to pick the thing...that you'd be most proud of."
"Listen here mister," you grabbed him by the chin and made him look at you, Apple Pie Shake be damned. "I'm always gonna be proud of you and support you in whatever path you want."
He nodded for a second and then stole a kiss from you with a soft "I know, thank you." You let yourself get lost in the feeling for a second, but Eddie knew that you weren't gonna let him distract you from the discussion at hand.
You put a hand on his chest and pushed him away, then stared him directly in the eye.
"So?" you asked. "What kind of future do you want?"
His eyes darted between yours--your gaze hard and challenging but nonetheless filled with hope and affection--and he had his answer.
---
May 1989
You could feel Eddie fidget in the seat beside you.
"Calm down," you muttered to him.
"Can't help it," he whispered back; you could tell he straightened out his posture, but his knee still bounced. "Too excited."
A name was called over the loudspeaker, then another, then another.
"Eddie seriously," Gareth was the one to give it a shot this time, leaning across you to put a hand on Eddie's knee and get him to stop fidgeting. "You're gonna shit yourself if you don't stop."
"Shit, sorry, this is only like..." he shook his head. "The most important thing I've ever done in my life."
You, Gareth, Jeff, and Dave all shot him skeptical and unamused looks.
"I don't have time to argue right now," he scoffed at the rest of you. "Shut up, here it comes."
"Peter Halliwell...Dustin Henderson..."
All five of you jumped to your feet and cheered and clapped, along with another group a few rows up that consisted of Dustin's mom, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, and their respective partners.
It was a repeat occurrence several times over that afternoon, as you witnessed the Hawkins High Class of '89 cross the stage and receive their diplomas.
"That's my kid," Eddie wiped a fake tear as each of his former Freshman Sheepies were called on stage, but he was especially emotional with Dustin. And when the newest DM of Hellfire flipped Higgins off before running off stage? Eddie stood on his chair and whooped and whistled. “That’s my boy!”
“Sit down Munson,” Higgins spoke into the microphone, over an audience that had become uproarious with laughter.
“It’s tradition now, Higgy,” Eddie shouted, words amplified by the hands he’d cupped around his mouth; still, he jumped down and took his seat so the rest of the ceremony could continue.
“You’re unbelievable,” you giggled at his antics. “You do know that right?”
“I’m unbelievably loveable,” he replied, quickly accompanied by the scoffs and mocking fart noises of his friends. He leaned closer and whispered in your ear. “Unbelievably in love with you.”
“Uh huh.” His tongue snaked out and he licked into your ear obnoxiously. “Fuck off!” You pushed him away from you with a shrieking laugh.
It wasn’t long before that the real reason you were in attendance at the graduation walked across the stage. Because yes, the kids were your friends but you wouldn’t miss this for the world.
“Jane Hopper,” came the announcement and you, once again, got to your feet with a cheer, along with her family and friends in the next aisle of seats. Chief Hopper had his camcorder out and his shoulders visibly shook as he sobbed for his daughter, and you couldn’t help but feel your heartstrings pull.
If Dustin and the boys were Eddie’s little sheepies, you supposed Janey was one of yours. From a shy girl whose ears you’d pierced for the first time in your early days at StarCourt, to one of your die hard regulars who looked up to you over the years trying to emulate your style, to one of your associates when she came in for her first summer job at 16; you’d watched Jane grow and gain confidence and really come into her own.
That was the high point of your career as a Store Manager, and something you happily shared with Eddie: seeing the kids you took under your wing flourish.
“All the birds have flown the coop Mom,” Eddie teased as you sat down and actually wiped a tear from your cheek.
“I think you guys can cut the Mom and Dad bit now,” Jeff said matter-of-factly. “Until you guys have your own kids someday.”
That was something you and Eddie happily shared too.
The two of you looked at each other for a moment…before making the most exaggerated vomiting and gagging noises, unfortunately getting looks from the people around you.
“Pass,” you and Eddie announced in tandem.
---
After the ceremony was over, Chief Hopper invited everyone to the shared Hopper-Byers abode for a barbecue. And by everyone, it seemed like he literally invited the entire town to the lakeside cabin the family called home.
All of the kids and their friends and families, Benny was somehow there—had he closed the diner for the day? Good, he deserved a day off—a handful of Hop’s coworkers and friends, including Wayne and Rick.
There were hamburgers and beers, conversation and music overlapping one another.
Eddie was in his element though, and it warmed your heart to see him talk and spiel and be accepted by such a big group when, not so long ago, it seemed like he’d been shunned by them. Even now, you could see some hesitation as he stiffly talked with douchebag Callahan and Mike’s asshole dad, but he wasn’t sweating bullets or falling back on the pricklier parts of his personality. He even cracked a smile once or twice.
What would his life had been like if he’d had this all along?
It was silly to think about after you’d been dating for years but…would he have asked you out sooner? Would you even still be together now? You thought about the ways that the kids had grown into their own…but it wasn’t hard to also appreciate how much the two of you had grown side by side as well.
Especially when you considered the next step you were about to embark on together...
“You’re thinking too loud,” Eddie startled you as he snuck up behind you and dangled a fresh beer in your face. You shot him a scathing look but he easily recovered, back into your good graces, as he swooped an arm around your shoulder and pecked a kiss to your temple. “What’s got you all sour?”
“Not sour,” you shrugged and picked at the label on the beer bottle. “Just…I don’t know. Thinking."
"Always a bad idea."
"Reflecting.”
“Well you look like you’re about to tell someone to get fucked so…”
"Maybe I am," you grinned at him cheekily.
"As long as it isn't me." He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "But you know it gets me going either way."
You slapped the back of your hand against his chest just as a gaggle of voices called your names.
Jane was the first one to run your way from across the yard, with Dustin and Lucas hot on her heels. They were all talking over one another, and Jane especially looked like she was about to burst into tears.
Eddie was the one to try to make sense of them, and he yelled a bellowing "shut up" that got them to stop their barrage.
"You're leaving?" Jane asked, looking directly at you. "Leaving Hawkins?"
"Uh," you paused and looked at Eddie, who held his hands up innocently.
"Gareth's got a big mouth," he reasoned.
"Of course he does," you rolled your eyes and then turned back to the kids. "Uh...yeah we are. At the end of the summer. I’m opening a new store. Again."
"What about you?" Dustin demanded, pointing an accusatory finger at Eddie.
"Where my lady goes, I must follow," he stood tall and held a hand over his heart for a second, chivalrous as ever, before he took a sip of his beer and slumped back into his usual posture. "Besides, Corroded Coffin has a better chance in a bigger city. We're big fish in a small tank in Hawkins. Gonna pack up the van; give Chicago a chance to chew us up and spit us out."
Eddie and the boys bickered back and forth--gathering a small crowd of onlookers the longer it went--about the trip and the plans about where you'd all live and work while you stood there with Jane.
"How could you just leave?" she asked.
"Oh, honey, that's just...how it is," you reassured her. "I get a new assignment, Mindy takes over. And I'll be back to visit. Maybe you and Max will take a drive up for a weekend in the city."
"That'd be fun."
"It isn't goodbye."
"I know," she nodded somberly.
"Besides, you're going off to school in the fall," you reminded her. "You weren't meant to stay at StarCourt Mall forever, and I wouldn't want you too. You have a bright future ahead of you. I know it's scary, but it's all gonna work out. One way or another."
They were the same words that Jen had said to you before you embarked on your big adventure to Hawkins, and you were happy to pass the sentiment along to Jane.
"What about you?" she asked after a minute. "Your future? Are you afraid?"
That was the question, wasn't it? A new adventure, maybe in a more familiar setting but...a new challenge nonetheless. But you looked over at Eddie, who had both Dustin and Gareth in headlocks; his head was thrown back in obnoxious laughter and he gave you a shrug that said "how could I help myself" when he noticed you looking at him.
He was an idiot. But he was your idiot. And he'd be by your side for this next adventure, just like he promised he would be.
"No," you told her honestly. "I'm not afraid at all."
---
September 1990
"Alright, here's a question?"
"Shoot."
"When…is our anniversary?"
"Uhh...Ed..." You let the question hang awkwardly in the air, unasked, but Eddie could read your mind.
The two of you were symbiotic at this point; still, he was happy that you had no idea what he had in mind for the day.
"No hear me out," he took a few steps ahead and turned to walk backwards so he could look at you. "Because I really put some thought into it. If we're going by first dates, it's in January—”
“Like it has been for the past 4 years.”
“—but, if we're going by first kiss..."
"If we're going by first kiss, that was last week," you laughed and rolled your eyes. "So you’re late."
“Yeah,” he agreed wickedly wistfully. “I guess I am.”
Of course you remembered.
The two of you were walking. Exploring, actually, around the cemetery where your Papa enjoyed his eternal rest.
5 years and it was a lot easier now.
You still cried sometimes but the initial guilt was gone and you found enjoyment in spending the day traversing about the sprawling cemetery grounds, visiting this great uncle and that distant cousin, just like you did with Papa when he was still alive.
“Did he make sure he bought flowers for everyone he ever met?” Eddie had asked as you piled bunches and bunches of flowers into his arms at the florist that first visit after Papa passed, when you told Eddie of the tradition. “Aren’t they just gonna die?”
“This is why I don’t like flowers,” you explained. “They die. At least when they die here, the dead can still enjoy them.”
“Well shit, that’s a pretty metal thought baby,” he cooed softly and shuffled the bunches to hold them with some more care. “Can I put that in a song? I’ll dedicate it to you.”
He had and you’d cried when he first sang you the haunting ballad in the privacy of your living room.
Today, though…well you’d already made the rounds today. Only one stop left; the most important stop. Eddie had suggested taking the long way through the mausoleum—down hallways lined with plush red carpet and dated sofas and marble walls filled with the dead—partially for his own curiosity, and partially so he could build up the courage.
You were doing quite a good job distracting him from his nerves as you conversed easily—whatever thoughts popped up in either of your heads—and explained the differences between this Saint and that one as you passed their statues and depictions in stained glass. They all looked at him with serene eyes and he thought that meant this journey would be a successful one.
There would be no crying, if he could help it.
Maybe tears of joy? He could settle for that.
“So what has you thinking of anniversaries?” you finally asked as you sat on the tufted velvet ottoman in front of your grandparents' epitaph.
Eddie shrugged and looked around, absorbing the names and dates inscribed on the marble walls that surrounded him.
“Been a lot of milestones lately. It’s been a couple years since graduation, 5 years since your grandpa passed…” He trailed off for a moment. “Been a year since we moved…since we’ve both been at new stores.”
You gasped and he felt his heart stop in his chest.
“Is…are you thinking of quitting?” You asked with big eyes.
“What?”
“That new Hot Topical store they’re opening? Or whatever it's called? I saw you chatting with that District Manager in the food court the other day. Are you leaving TapeWorld? Eddie, that’s so exciting. You should…”
“No I’m not quitting,” he announced with finality, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“…nevermind then. Then what’s going on? You thinking of breaking up with me or something?”
“No.”
“Well I know you’re not proposing; you literally just wrote a song called Marriage is a Death Sentence.”
Your laughter echoed through the mausoleum but you stopped abruptly when Eddie didn’t join you.
He watched your expression change as you processed the thought. And when you looked back at him again he smiled nervously.
“Eddie…” you said hoarsely and then cleared your throat. “Eddie, you just wrote a song called Marriage is a Death Sentence.”
“About my parents,” he explained. “And how they did everything wrong.”
“Yeah,” you nodded frantically. “A lot of people get it wrong. Marriage is a Death Sentence. Those are literally the lyrics. You’ve been singing it when you wash the dishes.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s catchy.”
“It is, isn’t it? But...while I was working on it...it got me thinking that…I mean…just because they got it wrong, and a lot of other people do, doesn’t mean we will.”
You said his name almost desperately now.
"A-and," he continued. "W-we don't have to get married but...I don't know. Spending the rest of my life with you sounds pretty great."
He pulled one hand out of his pocket casually and with it came a small ring box. He shook it a few times and held it out to you.
There were a bevy of emotions cycling your face, all of them undecipherable, until you settled on shock.
Good shock...hopefully.
“You’re supposed to get down on one knee I think,” you whispered again.
Yeah...good shock.
He let out a sigh of relief.
“Yeah but what if it isn’t a ring? What if this is all just a red herring? What if I had to get one of my teeth pulled and it's in here?”
You let out a shocked laugh and your brows hitched together in question.
"Did you put a tooth in there?"
"I don't know...seems as likely as any other potential surprise."
“Is it another cootie catcher?” you guessed.
“Only one way to find out.”
He shook the box again.
You slowly took it from him, fingers deliberately brushing against his which caused his heart to race.
He felt lightheaded when you opened the lid.
You smiled so brightly, he swore you rivaled the sun.
“Oh…Eddie…”
---
December 1992
"So what'd you do?"
"What makes you think I did something?"
"I love you son," Wayne sighed and leant against the counter. "But you always do something."
It was Christmas. The worst time of year for both you and Eddie. Long shifts, angry customers, restless coworkers...but a standing promise to make it back to Hawkins for the holiday had been the light at the end of the tunnel. Especially since Wayne and Rick had come out to see you for the past few years.
It was tough but you and Eddie made it work; hit the road right after your Christmas Eve shifts had ended, fallen into bed as soon as you'd arrived at Rick's close to midnight.
And you didn't need to be back to work until the 27th.
It was a perfect little getaway.
Except it hadn't been perfect.
Because you hadn't been talking to each other past the standard "good mornings" and "see you tonights" all week. The drive had been made in silence. And you chose to sit as far as you could from him during Christmas dinner, opting to sit beside Wayne and chat all night, instead of right next to him like you always did.
And unfortunately, yeah...it'd been Eddie's fault.
Eddie knew that, and usually he could admit it easily. Fights between the two of you were few and far between, and you had a good track record for recovering from them. For some reason though, this time was different, and it was hard for him to admit how badly he'd fucked up.
Wayne could see right through the two of you, though. Especially through his nephew. No matter how good you thought you were at hiding it.
"There was this...big opportunity we could have had," Eddie began his explanation calmly. "But it wasn't a sure thing."
"Oh yeah?" Wayne hummed. "How big?"
"Big. Like...a once-in-a-lifetime thing. An underground show a buddy of mine heard about it through the grapevine. Said they were looking for an opening act. Wanted to throw me a bone." He hit the counter with his fist gently. "But...he got his wires crossed. Told me it was tonight. So it meant we'd need to miss Christmas. But it's really next week."
"Hmmm..." Wayne nodded sagely and kept listening.
Eddie suddenly felt uncomfortable at the tone though, and became desperate for his uncle to understand.
Understand that he hadn't meant to hurt you.
"Work's been hard this season Wayne," Eddie continued with an edge to his voice. "Made me realize that I don't wanna do this forever. I wanna make music. You know that. It's been my dream forever."
"I know it has."
"Me and the guys. Our dream."
"What'd you say to her?" Wayne asked suddenly, as he lifted the mug of eggnog to his lips.
His knowing gaze made Eddie fidget and harsh words echo through his memory.
"Why can't you understand? This is huge for us. How can we say no?"
"I didn't say you had to pass it up, I just said it was a shame that we'll miss Christmas."
"You don't have to miss Christmas, you can just go to your aunt's if you don't want to go to the show."
"You know what I mean. You know Wayne and Rick look forward to seeing--"
"Wayne and Rick would understand how big this is. Why can't you? Why the fuck do you care anyways? It's not like they're your family!"
Wayne swallowed a mouthful of eggnog and then his lips pressed together tightly with a long exhale. Eddie turned to watch you and Rick chatter while you organized the gifts into neat little piles; even though you were avoiding each other, seeing your smile made him feel a lot better than his uncle's intense stare.
"I fucked up," he croaked. "I know."
"How're you gonna fix it?" Wayne asked.
"That I don't know."
Wayne sighed and clapped a hand on Eddie's shoulder.
"I would suggest," he leant in close and his voice rumbled, the same way it always did when Eddie would get in trouble growing up. The few times Wayne needed to intervene at all. "I would suggest you start with I'm sorry."
---
Eddie stared up at the glow in the dark stars that were stuck to the ceiling of the old guest bedroom that used to be his designated room at Rick's once upon a time.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
He couldn't sleep.
He might have spent most of his life in Hawkins but a few years in and around Chicago and he'd gotten used to the sounds of traffic and trains and people walking around late at night.
And it might've been easier if you were closer to him than you were, if the sounds of your sleep-deepened breathing and the soft snores you always denied were in his ear. Instead you were lying on your side at the edge of the full bed, as far from him as you could get, equally as awake as he was if your near-silent breaths were any indicator.
He turned his head and watched you for a moment before he took a breath of courage.
"Sweetheart," he whispered. When there was no response, he said your name, a little louder this time. "You awake?"
There was silence...heavy silence...and then you responded.
"Mmmhmm." You shifted to look halfway over your shoulder at him. "It's too quiet."
"I was just thinking that."
"Hmmm."
"I've got...a lot on my mind too."
"Yeah?" you turned fully now, lying on your back just like him; your shoulders touched but you refused to look at him. "What about?"
"I was thinking..."
What was he thinking? A lot of things. How to start an apology, how to fix this. How to make tomorrow better so your Christmas wasn't ruined.
"...that at least when we fight fight, we still talk to each other afterwards."
You scoffed and he closed his eyes, cursing himself and his big mouth.
"That...wasn't the right thing to say."
"No it wasn't," you sassed him immediately.
"It wasn't what I wanted to say either," he quickly added. "I wanted to say...that I'm sorry."
"I know."
"You do?"
"Aside from the fact that I know you too well," you began. "Rick was trying to get me to forgive you all night."
"Why did he think I did something?" Eddie asked incredulously.
"Because you always do something."
"God damn it, did Rick say that? Wayne said the same thing."
The two of you laughed together for the first time in days, and as you settled down, Eddie reached over and took your hand in his. He threaded your fingers together and rubbed his thumb back and forth to soothe you.
"I'm sorry that I...that I was a thick-headed, stubborn, big-mouthed idiot who hurt your feelings," he apologized. "I know that we've both been under pressure but there's no excuse. I could've been more level-headed, but I wasn't and I hurt you."
"Yeah well," you squeezed his hand tightly as you responded, "I guess I'm not innocent here either. I could have...been more excited for you, supportive. Instead of trying to make it about Christmas. I was thinking about how desperate I was to get away from work, excited to be back here. And it's no excuse. I'm sorry too."
"Yeah but I told you Wayne and Rick weren't your family."
"Well I told you--"
"Are we gonna fight again?" Eddie stopped you before you could get ahead of yourself. You huffed a soft "no" and melted into the bed, all tension in your body gone. "Did you like your Christmas gift?"
"Jesus." He could hear you rolling your eyes.
"Well did you?"
"Duh," you deadpanned. "Did you like yours?"
"Uh, duh," he parroted, a little more exaggeratedly. "You didn't give me a kiss though."
"Well you didn't give me a kiss either," you retorted, but you were already rolling over so you could close the distance and seal your lips against his.
The two of you showered one another with more whispered apologies and words of devotion before you got ahead of yourselves.
Clothes were shed, soft caresses shared, and lips lavished over the most sensitive parts of you.
You still liked it when you dragged your teeth along the shaft of his cock a little and got him to beg, and then Eddie returned the favor when he sucked a bruising hickey to your nipple that made you squeal and call him a god.
The two of you had lived on your own for so long that it was good fun trying to keep your voices down, or make sure the bed didn't slide across the hardwood floors with your passionate fucking.
And all slights were soothed when you reached the height of pleasure together, and whispered sweet words of affection and forgiveness as you descended back to earth.
Come morning, Wayne obnoxiously asked when the two of you were planning to hit the road back to Chicago.
"It's been a good while since I lost sleep thanks to your spirited activities," he noted, embarrassing the two of you in front of Rick. "No more fighting when you come back to visit in the future alright? I miss you dearly, but I can't say I miss that at all.”
---
April 1993
"It took you guys long enough," Dustin announced as he threw open the door.
“You know what, you try sitting in a rusty old shitbox with a bunch of musicians that still act like they're teenagers for 10 hours," you deadpanned and then pushed past the guys as they protested to pull Dustin into a hug. "Happy housewarming, congratulations."
It was Spring Break.
Well for the kids it was--although, they weren't really kids anymore were they--but for you and the guys, it was more like a long weekend. You'd scheduled yourself off for a few days, Eddie'd requested the whole week off, Jeff and Dave had traded shifts with coworkers, and Gareth simply quit his job.
"I'll find a new one," he reassured everyone, including his girlfriend, on St. Patrick's Day when he announced his departure before he and the guys had gotten on stage to play for a crowded pub in the suburbs.
It had been a headache and a half to get everything in order and everyone in the right place at the right time, but you were all here for one thing and one thing only.
Dustin's first apartment.
A Hellfire Club Reunion.
And a special one-shot that Dustin and Eddie had spent hours on the phone planning for the past few months.
Months.
You didn't think you'd been invited at first, but when Dustin told Eddie the full guest list, Eddie volunteered your attendance immediately.
Your forays into Dungeons and Dragons were few and far between; never a big campaign, only the one-shots that Eddie had put together here and there for the guys or a few coworkers who were interested. And this would be the first time that you played with such a big group. Or such an experienced group.
You were nervous.
"You'll do great," Eddie reassured you as he plucked snack cakes and sodas off the gas station shelves for snacks on the road. "I know the roleplaying is not your strongest suit, but it's just Henderson and the gang."
Now you were here and your nerves melted as you slipped further into mother hen mode the longer you looked around at what was obviously the apartment of college students. It was a familiar sight; you, Eddie, and the guys had all crammed into a duplex when you'd moved to Chicago and you'd had your fair share of pizza boxes stacked in the corners before garbage day and underwear of questionable origin and cleanliness tucked into the cracks of the sofa.
But that was a time long since passed and seeing it now made your fingers itch.
And your ears ring.
"...be here soon and I figured that you'd be here first to help me set u--Mom you ok?" Dustin stopped his chattering when he noticed you were frozen in the door of the living room. He glanced around the space that would soon host all of his friends. "Oh...yeah I should probably clean up a little more. To be fair, most of this isn't my mess."
You felt your eye twitch at his dismissive laugh.
"Jesus Henderson, didn't you just move in January?" Jeff asked when he saw the sorry state.
The boys all started giving Dustin shit, and Eddie had the foresight to put a hand on your shoulder and steer you back towards the door.
"We're gonna go take a quick smoke break; why don't you four nerds try to get this place looking a little more Hellfire appropriate in the mean time, m'kay?" he ordered them with faux sincerity. "We brought those props you asked for Dustin."
You heard the faint, sorry Mom, come from the boys as Eddie got you outside.
---
Eddie was extremely attentive and was quick to take charge of the ragtag group, running back and forth between the little stoop where you'd essentially set up camp right outside of the building, and back up to Dustin's apartment to make sure the cleaning and setup were underway.
"Hey listen, you boss enough people around at work," he reassured you when you insisted that you'd be alright to go back in. "You don't need to do it on your day off too."
You proved to be useful enough as the other started to arrive, little by little.
Max and Lucas had flown in from California and arrived via cab.
"It kind of sucks when the place you live is the place everyone else goes on vacation," Lucas laughed good-naturedly.
His younger sister Erica, who you remember from her days of buying scrunchies and glitter makeup, was now grown up and toted an entire kit filled with binders and notebooks and dice.
"It's my first ever Spring Break," she sniffed. "I could have been in Miami with my friends. But...I wouldn't miss this for the world, so it better be worth it."
Mike and Will drove up in the Wheeler's old station wagon, their siblings in tow in the backseat; Nancy and Jonathan had apparently been broken up for some time now.
It apparently had been an awkward drive for all of them.
Jane unexpectedly arrived with a new love interest friend and was beyond ecstatic to see you, barely letting you get a question in as she told you about everything she'd been up to.
Robin was unfortunately absent, but sent her regards along with the last person to arrive. Someone who you honestly didn't expect to see at all, but who had pulled up in a shiny new car, sporting a wedding band and a mustache: Steve Harrington.
"Look what the cat dragged in," you greeted with a smile. You pointed at the wedding band. "Seems like you don't need my relationship advice anymore."
"Same relationship," he chuckled and shrugged, suddenly bashful.
"No shit," you laughed. "Congratulations."
"Congrats to you too," he pointed to the ring on your own finger but you waved him off dismissively.
"Marriage is a Death Sentence. This is just...symbolic more than anything. We both know we're not going anywhere."
"Get more of a deduction on your tax return if you guys do tie the knot."
"Alright Ned Flanders," you rolled your eyes. "Taxes are a death sentence too. I'll ask Ed to write that song and dedicate it to you."
"By all means, I'm actually an accountant now. Maybe it'll get me some more clients."
You cackled.
You and Steve made some casual chit chat as you walked up to join the others now that everyone had arrived.
The apartment looked worlds different, especially with the abundance of candles that surrounded the table you all crowded around.
Dustin was taking the lead with this one, his DM screens in ominous abundance as he sat at the head of the table and filed through stacks of papers.
You looked around at all of your friends...really all of Eddie's friends who had become your friends, your family. It was nice to see them all in one place again.
Then you looked at Eddie himself, who looked right at home surrounded by them all. Laughing and spieling and picking on them with bright, glowing fondness that radiated off of him. You didn't think you could feel any more love for him, but suddenly in that moment, your cup overflowed.
He deserved this; deserved all of this...all of the love you all had to give and share with him because he loved you all so hard in return.
You took your seat beside him and grinned and patted your knee encouragingly.
"Perfect timing, sweetheart," he announced. "Hope you're ready to get absolutely obliterated."
Dustin hit a button on the stereo he'd set up beside him and everyone started to cheer as music and sounds created the ambiance of the adventure you were about to embark on.
"Welcome friends as we revisit a grand adventure of old tonight," Dustin began. "As we venture deep into Greyhawk and come face to face a great evil once defeated. Timelines have shifted, and what you might remember from the past is no longer what it seems; it will take great courage and strength to overcome challenges that you'd previously faced with ease. Are you up for the challenge?"
Everyone cheered again."
"Good," he said with a guttural groan, eyes rolling back in his head dramatically. "Then let us begin on our quest to face...The Cult of Vecna."
---
May 1995
It was like deja vu.
Maybe because he'd done this a thousand times, just not recently. It'd been years since he'd worked at the Mall, after all, and the muscle memory might have been a little out of practice, but it was still there.
He ran up the stalled escalator, long legs skipping every other step, until he reached the top, out of breath.
"Fuck," he bent over with his hands on his knees, panting. "Fuck. This is why I gotta quit smoking."
He'd taken the day off to surprise you; he and the guys were supposed to be recording today--their first album; it'd taken long enough--but this was bigger and he wanted to be there for you.
Needed to be there.
It wasn't every day that his best friend and beloved--the love of his life--his dear Store Manager...wasn't going to be a Store Manager anymore.
You'd both broken the news to each other on the same day. For weeks you'd only mentioned small developments in passing, never letting your hopes get too high just in case of a let down.
"We're getting signed," he announced as you'd collided into one another outside of your apartment building. "It's happening we're getting signed and we're gonna make a whole fucking album sweetheart!"
"Oh my god!" you shrieked. "Holy shit Ed!"
"No more weird touring schedules for fests, no more begging to get a song on the radio during the 3am broadcast, it's happening!" He cupped your cheeks and peppered kisses around your face.
"It's happening for me too," you laughed and tried to shake him away. "I got the job."
"What?!" he squished your cheeks harder until you jabbed him lightly in the stomach to get him to let you go.
"I got the job," you laughed, head tilted back as you announced it to the world. "Eddie, baby...you're looking at the new associate manager of Visual Development."
You'd spent the night indulging on a deep dish pizza, fucking making love, and talking about the future.
Maybe you could buy a house...maybe you could get a puppy...take an actual vacation someplace and not just a weekend trip to the Dells or wherever Corroded could find a gig...the possibilities were endless...
But from that moment on, it was a whirlwind.
The band had gotten started right away, signing contracts and working with the small label that had seen their potential and believed in them.
And now, a few weeks later, it was here. Your big day. Your last day as a Store Manager at Claire's, before you went off to their home offices to tell people what color scrunchie was gonna be big for the season.
There were a bunch of purple and pink balloons tied to the sandwich board outside of your store, and as Eddie got closer, he could hear snippets of conversation as your associates asked you about your new position.
"Have you seen your office yet?"
"Yeah, I have," you laughed.
"Is the desk pink?"
"No but the walls are."
"Do you get your own cell phone?"
"Probably not. I'm not the CEO guys. I'm just a manager."
"Are you gonna have to wear business suits?"
"No," Eddie answered for you as he quickly snuck up behind you. You jumped as his arms wrapped around your waist, but you quickly melted into the embrace. "But she's not gonna have to wear clothes from Seventeen Magazine anymore either."
"Yeah," you sighed. "It really sucks to wear clothes from the juniors department once you're past 30. They're just not made the same way."
"Gotta take your word for it sweetheart, I'm not 30 for another few months," he blew a raspberry against the side of your neck and squeezed you tightly in his embrace.
Your associates all sighed dreamily at the sight of the two of you canoodling—power couple who?—and Eddie was thankful for this once-in-a-lifetime chance that you wouldn't just swat him away for PDA while you were on the salesfloor.
"I'm sorry this is coming from the man who still dresses the same as he did when he was 17," you laughed and reached back to pluck at his battle vest that had only accumulated more pins and patches over the years.
"I'm very sorry that I'm not trendy, sweetheart." He kissed your cheek. "But I'm what you would call timeless."
"I'd like a divorce." You pulled his left hand away from your torso so you could attempt to pull the band off his ring finger. "Effective immediately."
"We're not married," he murmured teasingly in your ear. "Or did you forget?"
"You finally gonna seal the deal Munson?" you whispered back. "It's only been 10 years."
"Just so you can file for divorce? I don't think so."
"What if I trade you my longevity pin? I think it would look nice on your vest."
"How about...I take you to lunch first?" he asked, voice back to its normal volume. "And we negotiate the terms and conditions? She's got her big corporate lady pants on, trying to get me to sign a contract."
"I guess I could pencil you in," you feigned annoyance and then looked to your assistant manager. "Let me ask my secretary."
Both you and Eddie stared at them expectantly.
"Get out of here," they laughed at your antics. "Before I kick you out; so sweet, you guys make me gag sometimes."
---
The rest of your final shift was eventful, and Eddie sat in the chair of the Ear Piercing station while you chatted with your regular customers and received one visitor after another.
Old employees and coworkers, your mom who made you take a picture with the whole team, and then a very cheesy one with Eddie who dipped you for a kiss at the very last second.
Jen had come around close to 5 to bring even more balloons and a cake, and had made jokes that she was gonna have to haunt the corporate offices even more now.
"So we can talk shit, obviously," she joked.
Eddie had called Kyle up, who was now managing a store in Milwaukee, to tell him both bits of good news and Kyle had made the drive down to bring a sentimental gift to both of you on your last day.
A picture frame with a collage of polaroids from your years at StarCourt. There was a filmstrip from one of the photo-booths that depicted a younger you and Eddie, making funny faces and staring longingly at one another.
"You left this in the stock room once upon a time," he told Eddie as he pointed it out specifically. "That was before you were dating too. I squirreled it away and forgot about it but was gonna keep it in case you never got the courage to ask her out. And look at the two of you now."
"Yeah, Eddie watched you as you caressed the glass. "Look at us now."
"I still think I should have won the bet," Kyle sniffed bitterly.
You had scheduled yourself to close, and you were expertly restocking the scrunchie wall as the last few customers shopped.
Eddie kept snaking his arms around you and switching this scrunchie here for that one there, and you'd whine and complain about him messing up the color flow. Still, you never made any effort to stop him, and each time you stomped your foot petulantly, he would drop a smooch right on your cheek to "earn" your forgiveness.
"You know, this is what I was doing when we first met," you recalled after a few kisses. "Officially met."
"What?" Eddie asked.
"Restocking scrunchies."
"You sure?" he frowned and tried to think back. He vaguely recalled...bracelets of some sort...or had he just been looking at the jewelry. He'd been so nervous to ask you out back then...it was all a blur.
And he hadn't really even asked you out at that time either. Jesus Christ, what a loser he'd been.
Where would the two of you be now if only he hadn't fumbled on that first not-date? Right where you were now? Maybe broken up? A lot of the growing the two of you had done had been done with the soft buffer of friendship first...it almost caused his heart to ache to think that they might have caused an end to a relationship if things had been different.
Because now he couldn't imagine what his life would be like without you.
"You still haven't let me pierce your ears," you leaned in close to him, nose brushing against his, and teased him.
Eddie froze and then backed away.
"Well," he licked over his bottom lip pensively. "It is your last day...the last hour of your shift too...I think I could be persuaded."
You squealed and ran to get the forms ready. You didn't even let him fill them out, you just pushed him back into the seat he'd been occupying all day as you got it all ready.
"No more being afraid of needles babe," you cackled, the kind of cackle he'd only ever heard when you were being especially devious or evil.
"I have tattoos," he argued, trying to stand from the chair in protest, but you pressed your hand to his chest to get him to sit back down. "I have a ton of tattoos; if I was afraid of needles I wouldn't. Your logic is flawed."
"Yeah ok Spock," you dismissed his reasoning. "This one takes a chunk out of you though, so it's different."
"What argument are you trying to win here baby? Are you trying to get me to get my ears pierced or are you trying to get me to admit I'm afraid."
"Dealers Choice."
"You're lucky I love you," he grumbled.
You were silent for a while as you marked his ears, as you snapped on your gloves, and readied the piercing gun.
Was he afraid? No. He trusted you. But damn if the anticipation wasn't making him sweat a little.
Eddie closed his eyes as he prepared himself for the next step, but you paused and made one quick run across the store before returning.
"Alright I have one last important question to ask you," you began, and he peeped an eye open to see you standing there with your hands behind your back. "It's the age old question and I don't think we ever got a solid answer."
You revealed your plunder and then stared at him expectantly.
"Take your pick: broken hearts or gummy bears."
Eddie went soft as he stared at the two sets of studs backed by purple carding: little black broken hearts and the neon green gummy bears.
It was the age old question wasn't it? The first question he asked you before he even asked you out.
"See, if it was still 1985," he tilted his head back and forth, "I think this would be a hard one to figure out."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. But uh," he reached out and pointed to his choice. "Now it's a no brainer."
"Seriously?" you laughed.
"Seriously."
"And why are you, Eddie Munson, lead singer of Corroded Coffin, the most metal band on Earth, picking the Gummy Bears?"
"Sweetheart," he singsonged, pausing for dramatic effect. "I think you know."
"I don't think I do," you parroted.
"Ugh," he scoffed and turned his head. "I guess I am the more romantic of the two of us."
"Answer the question, Cassanova."
"Sweetheart," he turned back to you, hand over his heart. "It has to be the gummy bears."
"Has to be?"
"Must be."
"Because..."
"Because I can confidently say that my heart is never gonna be broken if I have you around."
Your challenging gaze softened and Eddie swore that he saw tears at the corners of your eyes. For a moment he didn't know if you were gonna kiss him or start crying.
"Shut the fuck up," your associate shouted from across the store, ruining the sweet moment. "That was so adorable. Oh my god."
"Language Chels!" you scolded her good-naturedly.
And then, in those last few minutes of your career as a store manager, you kissed Eddie softly on his forehead...on his lips...and then punched holes right through both of his earlobes in rapid succession.
"Fuck!" He screamed. "Fuck!"
"I love you," you chuckled at him.
"Yeah. Love you too..." he grimaced. "Fuck! I love you."
---
Thank you for reading The Store Manager Verse.
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spookykoolkat · 1 year ago
Text
eddie m. - you're just so sweet | 2
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MDNI! 18+ ONLY! read at your own discretion!
chapter 2: i'm yours, you're mine.
part one here | main masterlist
pairing: older!eddie munson x plussized!reader
na: thank u for all the love on my eddie fics omg 🥹 especially on this series!! i've gotten a lot of love i appreciate it all and appreciate the feedback too omg pls let me know any suggestions or any comments! more parts to come!!
summary: it's been a few days since your last encounter with eddie and since you started avoiding him, so after your parents leave on a getaway trip, you decide to go out for drinks by yourself
warnings: age gap! (reader is 25, eddie is 43), body shaming, insecurities, self defense, alcohol use, face riding (f oral receiving), fingering, spanking, choking (lightly), p in v (unprotected) *this is fiction. wrap it up!*, breeding, and probably more but also a little bit of angst and fluff. *also was not proofread. and trying a new writing aesthetic style or something LOL*
after that night, two days went by and you refused to see him. how could you refuse to see him when he lived right next door to you? it was possible, you found. your parents ended up springing their real plan on you the morning after you had eddie's fingers buried in you. your father planned a getaway trip for him and your mother, and actually wanted you to watch the house until next monday. which means you have the entire house to yourself for a week, and nothing to do.
you were nervous to face eddie if you were honest. the reality settling in and realizing that maybe you did overstep. he was old enough to be your father for christ's sake, and yet for some reason you could not get him out of your head. you were obsessed with the way he looked at you, how he handled you as if he's known what you liked even without asking. in his presence, you felt like a dumb girl again. like you were 18 all over again, pining after your neighbor that you referred to as Mr. Munson until you were 20.
eddie on the other hand made it a habit to glance over at your house through his window every once and a while, wondering if he'd see you leave the house or meet with someone. he knew about your parent's trip and knew you were home alone, so he wanted to make sure you were okay. he knew that if you wanted to talk to him, you'd easily go over to his place and talk. but he knew you were avoiding him, for what reason? he couldn't figure it out.
it wasn't even because it was awkward after, seeing this man after you came on his hand. it was because you felt a bit self conscious if anything. you felt maybe he would think different when he was sober, and clear minded. maybe men really will fuck anything. you felt scared to face him again, in daylight this time, and not think about if he thought you were too big or too ugly. you felt like maybe he just wanted a quick fuck, something to get by. you wondered if he'd even try to talk to you, even though you were trying to avoid him. a part of you wanted him to show up anyways, ask you if you were okay and if you regretted it. he wanted to too. he wanted to see you and talk to you, to hear your voice again.
it was wrong, he knew. to be pining after his friend's daughter, to want her so unapologetically, to crave her. he didn't know what he was getting himself into when he pursued you. he didn't really think about it, though eddie doesn't think about much when deciding. he sure as hell couldn't have thought about it when you were right there, practically begging for him.
it was late already, around seven or eight in the evening when you decided you wanted to go for a drink. you figured the house would be okay for an hour or two until you get back, so you quickly got ready, putting on your usual black smokey eye makeup and your dark lipstick and putting on a tight fitting black dress that you seemed was casual enough. you put on black platform heels to match and grabbed your purse to leave the house. before leaving you check your hair in the mirror and run your fingers through it, fluffing it and fixing it to your liking.
finally, you're out of the house and you lock the door behind you before turning towards your car. you subconsciously catch a glimpse of eddie's house, seeing him standing on his porch with just a muscle shirt and his black jeans, smoking what you think is a joint. you don't give him a smile or a wave, you just watch him as he watches you get into your car and put your key in the ignition to drive off.
he was kind of upset actually. eddie, almost wanting to throw a tantrum because you hadn't spoken to him since that night and because you were dressed so sexy that he couldn't think straight. where could you possibly be going right now? it was almost night time, and you were stepping out on the town without him? he couldn't rack his brain for long thought because you took off and he has to be down at the bar in less than 20 minutes.
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you went to the local club/bar, it was more of a bar to you but you saw flashing lights and people dancing so you kind of just went with it. you made your way inside and straight to the bar, speaking over the music to ask the bartender for a drink.
"hi! yeah can i get uh, i'll take two tequila shots and whatever sweet alcohol drink you have," you smiled at the man as he complies, smiling back at you. he was far from ugly, around your age, and he was admiring you under the lights. he was no eddie, he had no tattoos, no piercings, and not a trace of weed coming from him.
"here you go, beautiful. on the house," he said and you blushed a little, taking a look at his name tag, jordan, it read.
"you flirting with me jordan?" you teased, scooting the drinks closer to you.
"something like that, do you want me to flirt with you?" he asked leaning into your space over the bar, and you smiled, not feeling what you thought you were supposed to be feeling.
"depends how you flirt with me," you said and took a sip from the fruity looking drink in front of you.
"hey can i get a drink?" a guy called out from the other side of the bar and he excuses himself, going to do his job.
it wasn't long before you downed your two shots of tequila AND your fruity drink. you ended up drinking another fruity cocktail before deciding to go to where the crowd was dancing and dance to yourself, with yourself. it had been thirty minutes of you dancing with random girls and guys, letting your body move the way you want and feel the music under the colorful LED lights. the buzz of the alcohol made it hard to focus on the music changing after about five minutes, but then you heard the static of a microphone and spinned your head to see where it was coming from.
"hope no one minds live music, m' name's eddie and we are corroded coffin, almost 20 years strong," the familiar voice that warmed the inside of your tummy. he was here. for some reason, you wanted him to notice you. you wanted him to know you were here as well, that maybe this was a sign for you to finally face him after two days. you worried you wouldn't have enough time with him since your parents come back in five more days.
two days of yearning. he missed you since that night, he couldn't stop thinking about you or your moans, the way your body looked against his, how tight you felt around his fingers. he was dreaming of you at this point, wondering why you hadn't said anything but took a while to realize that this is on him. he is older, and in this dynamic he holds all the cards. he didn't like that at all. he didn't want you to wait on him for an answer or a call, he didnt want you to wonder if you did something wrong that he didn't like. he should've reached out to you the morning after, instead he came to the house and grabbed a cup of coffee before your parents left, completely ignoring your presence in the house even though you were quietly upstairs, listening in on their conversation.
you were nervous for him to see you because from your stance, you can see him very well. he wasn't wearing the same thing he was wearing when you left your house, now he wore a graphic black t-shirt that had the faded words 'metallica' on it and black straight leg pants that he seemed to love. he was so sexy like this, his fingers strumming his precious guitar as his voice boomed through the speakers, how deep into performing he got. you could tell he seemed eager, like he was feeling his music through his body and it controlled him.
you actually liked his music, and it did made you want to dance and head bang, but as everyone danced and eventually formed a small pit away from you, all you could do was stay still and watch him in awe. you stood there for about five minutes, listening to his songs and the sensual lyrics that poured from his lips. you noticed how his eyes never really left the center of the room, but with his lips pressed against the mic his eyes fell on you, and he almost had to do a double take. you were one hell of a distraction, and as you stood there in a tight little black dress with your black heels that added at least five inches to your height, your breasts pushed together and your curved and rolls being hugged—he was going feral onstage.
he felt embarrassed for a mild second. he felt ridiculous losing his mind over someone so young, someone he's never thought of in the way he does now. he wasn't a teen anymore, did he even have the right to lose his mind the way he did?
you couldn't shake the feeling of his eyes on you while he sung and screamed into his mic. you felt like he was undressing you as you stood, or maybe picking you apart, realizing maybe you weren't as pretty or attractive as he thought he did. you couldn't take it anymore, and you go to find a seat at the bar, meeting jordan once again.
"another fruit cocktail, sweetheart?" he asked and you wanted to cringe. it didn't sound right falling from his lips, his eyes meeting yours will never feel the same as your eyes meeting eddie's.
"yes please, can i also get another two shots?" and he nodded, getting your drinks as you crossed your arms on the bar. he brought you back three glasses, one large for your cocktail and the others being shot glasses.
"you here all by yourself?" he asked and you nodded, taking your shots without chasers this time.
"well, i'm off in fifteen minutes, you need a ride baby?" he asked and before you could answer, you felt a body stand next to you and put his band at your lower back. you didn't even notice the music changed back to the regular DJ, and now eddie stands next to you in all black, heat coming from his body.
"she's good, she's got a ride." eddie said without looking at you, only holding you from your back.
"and who are you, her father?" you almost giggled at jordan's remark but refrained, you didn't want to make eddie mad. any more mad than he already was.
"why don't you fuck off huh? you wouldn't even be man enough to handle all of her, you're the last fuckin' thing she needs," he spit and jordan threw his towel down and scoffed.
"yeah, like anyone'd be man enough to handle someone as big as her." before your fuzzy, tipsy mind can comprehend what you're doing, you grab the remnants of your drink and reach over the bar to splash him in his face, all of the ice hitting his nose and eyes.
"fuck you," you said, throwing the glass over the counter and listening to it break as you turn to move past eddie. but, eddie notices that jordan was a bit unhappy. he stormed around the bar to try to reach for you, and you turned around to see him charging at you. before eddie could even try to move in front of you to protect you, your hand reaches inside your bra and pulls out your usual all black pocket knife and flick it open with your wrist.
"woah, wait," eddie tried and attempted to grab you, but for some reason you were a bit slippery for him. you moved past him and charged at the man who was cussing at you, until he saw the blade in view and the demeanor of his face changed from angry to frightful.
"what? you're quiet now huh? where were the fuckin' balls you had two minutes ago? you're a fucking pussy," you said, holding the knife pointing away from you in a fist, your hands raising up in a defensive way. you didn't back down from anyone or anything, and you would rather die than let a man think he's able to do things to you with no consequences.
"let's go," eddie grunted as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hoisted you up after seeing everyone begin to record and grab their phones to call the police.
"no fuck that, fuck you! you fucking asshole," you yelled in eddie's arms at the man who thought he could disrespect you and get away with it. you formed saliva in your mouth and spit at him before eddie could drag you far enough and it landed on his face, bringing a smile to yours and forcing a laugh to bubble from your throat.
he needed to get you out of there before you get arrested, so he took your keys from you before grabbing your knife and folding it back up again, then putting you in the passenger seat and buckling you in.
he kind of smiled getting into your car, the little knick knacks and the cheetah print steering wheel covered made him snicker even more. this whole situation was so insane to him, that he truly thought he'd be coming to your rescue from a fucking asshole guy. he also questioned your father, remembering back to when he came to eddie's home asking him to watch you, make sure you stay out of trouble. it made him wonder how much trouble you truly get in usually and if it was more than just sleeping with your dad's friend. but tonight, he understood.
"what is so fucking funny," you hiccuped as he quickly started the engine and drove out of the parking lot and towards your cul-de-sac.
"you, sweetheart. you're is what's so fucking funny," he chuckled, deciding to turn up the radio to see what was in the disc slot.
"what do you know about Alice in Chains?" he asked curiously, listening to man in the box on the radio.
"why'd you have to pull me away," you groaned and shifted in your seat with your eyes closed. you weren't drunk, but you weren't sober, and you were tired.
"because if we stayed, you'd be in jail for that little stunt you pulled with the knife," he said as he stopped at the red light. he looked over to you and saw you sitting with your legs crossed, leaning onto the door of the car. he saw the way your dress rose up on your thighs as your body was positioned in a way to hike your dress up.
"he fucking deserved it, so arrest me! it was funny too. fuckin' asshole." you said, more towards the bartender but also to him.
"fucking pussy, ugh fuck i can't stand a lot of men. think they can just treat women like shit and get away with it," you kept on. your mouth didn't stop as your anger kept flowing, until eddie cut you off.
"yeah he did, and i would've fucked him up myself for saying that to you. what if he hurt you?" he said and you laughed to yourself.
"well you didn't, and he didn't hurt me." you said but then you felt angry towards eddie, "you don't know me, you don't even care except for the fact that my dad told you to look after me. you just want a quick lay from a younger girl because you can," you were sobering up a little as he continued the path to your house. you knew what you were saying wasn't true, at least you tried to believe it wasn't true.
"you don't know what i need. i don't need you." you finished.
"is that what you think? really?" he asked, but no anger on his words. he was genuine, sincerely asking if that's what you truly believed. that he only wanted you because you were young and 'easy'. but nothing about you was easy. you were faaaar from easy.
"why didn't you talk to me that morning?" you whispered as you opened your eyes back up to watch the city move past you.
"what do you mean?" he asked, but he knew. he just didn't want to admit it to himself.
"you know what the fuck i mean. i mean, that morning after you fingered me in my back yard, you just-," you breathed and started to try to cover yourself with your arms. "-you just looked at me. you didn't say hi, or good morning. you didn't even look at me like i was just someone you knew. you just looked at me with nothing. so i avoided you. i went back to my room and sat there. listened to you and my dad, and heard nothing from you. not even a slight tone in your voice voice that you have the same weight of what we did hanging over your head. like nothing happened."
he let you speak, and he listened. his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel and felt his anger creep up his neck as he could practically hear your heart breaking into two. he was fucking angry with himself.
"i, baby, just listen-" he tried but you shook your head enough for him to see.
"no, eddie. we don't have to talk about it. just take me home please," you begged and continued to stare out of the window, waiting to finally see your house creep into view.
the rest of the ride was silent except for the music playing in the background. eddie was unbelievably upset with himself, trying to rack his brain about how he could let himself be this dumb. he knew you were young, he knew how this could look, he knew this was going to effect you more than you think. but he didn't know it effected him just as bad. he craved someone that should be forbidden, he dreamed of someone who could do so much better than an old man.
soon, eddie pulled into your driveway and got out of the car immediately, slamming the car door making you jump. you lazily unbuckled your seatbelt and reached for the door before it was pulled from you, eddie going to grab you and carry you to the door bridal style. he managed to unlock the door and take you inside quickly, shutting the door behind him and going upstairs to your room. you snuggled into him regardless of what was said in the car, wanting some sort of warmth. for some reason you felt cold everywhere, and you needed someone to help you warm up like he could. and he smelled so good. he smelled like smoke, weed, and cologne like always. a little bit of sweat, but it was granted given his onstage performance.
he settled you into your bed and you refused, sitting up way too fast before you dragged your hand through your hair.
"you think i didn't want to talk to you? i didn't know how else to act. i'm an old man sweetheart, an old man with a bad temper and a grumpy look to em'. you, are the only thing that has made me ache." he said, moving from your bed down to his knees, resting his elbows on the bed in front of you.
"i should've talked to you. i should've made it normal but i made it awkward." he said and reached for your hands but you're reluctant.
"you could have anyone eddie," you began, looking at your fingers. "why would you want me? i'm insane. i'm actually crazy and i can't be looked after. i'm fat and i know that nobody really likes fat girls. i like how i look, i love fat girls myself. but i have everyone in my ear telling me i'm not pretty, yet here you are, telling me everything i wanna hear." you said and looked at him, his eyes never leaving yours.
"you tell me i'm pretty, that i'm sexy. that you, eddie munson, the guy everyone had a crush on, wants me?" you said and saw his hands reach for yours again.
"how many times do i have to tell you that you are nothing but fucking gorgeous? you are fucking unbelievable, princess. you think i don't like your body? that i dont like you and your fucked up attitude?" he asked, getting up from his knees and instead pulling you up with him, turning so that the back of his knees are at your bed. he sits with you standing between his legs and his hands resting at the backs of your large, wide thighs.
"what must i do for that pretty little head of yours to believe me when i say i think i could stare at you for hours?" he asked, his eyes no longer on yours but now on your tummy, and the way yours tits looked in this dress. most of all, the curve of your sides and how the dress hugged you in all the right way, he couldn't help but rub his hands all over your thighs and ass, to your waist and your back as he pushed his face into your stomach.
"i just fucking love feeling you, angel," he murmured as he felt you shakily breathe in, your hands deciding to rest at his shoulders.
"let me take care of you, baby. let me make you forget anything negative anyone has ever said to you. i know you can take care of yourself, but let me do it take care of you. tonight and until you want me to get out of your life," he said and thought his hands roaming all over your body was so seducing and the thought of his hands buried in your cunt again sent a jolt of electricity straight to your core.
you wanted to fight back, to tell him to let go of you and leave. but the truth is, you could get out of his grasp in the time it takes to blink. you didn't want to fight back. you wanted the man that had his face to your tummy with his hands slowly reaching up your dress.
"why would i want you out of my life?" you asked, your hands still at his shoulders as he grabs all over you and rubs over every crevice.
"mm, don't know, maybe it's just too much for you to handle, me being so attractive and all," he joked, making you laugh under your breath. he felt the vibration of your body and went to bite the curve of your hip and you winced, just because it was unexpected.
"you're a fucking asshole," you mumble, your hands going to his hair to tug.
"i know, baby, i'm working on it," he said and you couldn't help but break into a smile. he groaned when you tugged his hair, a groan you hadn't heard before but it sent you to think of what other noises comes out of his pretty throat.
"i didn't know you were in a band." you said as he pressed kisses into you over your dress.
"mhm, i am." he responded and grabbed two handfuls of your ass.
"is that why you're so good with your hands?" you asked, rubbing his head as your tits practically sat on it, and squeaked when you felt his fingers creep under your dress and to your clothed cunt from behind. he had to spread your cheeks, doing so to where he can rub you in your hugging position.
"i'd like to think so, but who knows. maybe my hands just were made to please you," he said and softly tried to bite your tummy.
"eddie," you moaned out as you felt him apply pressure to your clothed cunt.
"yes baby?" he asked as he pulled his face away so he could meet your eyes again.
"please, i want it," you whimpered as you pushed your tits in his face. he didn't even try not to look, he faced them and even left kisses on them.
"tell me with words, honey. what do you want? what can i give my sweet girl?" he asked, wanting to hear it from you yourself. he kept craning his neck to kiss the skin exposed of your tits, moving to just face plant straight into your cleavage. he just stilled, all his movements stopped and you got a little worried.
"eds? you okay?" you asked as you tilted your head down to see his mop of hair just on top of your chest, but you can feel his entire face in your cleavage.
"huh? yeah uh, fuck, sorry, you just looked perfect in this dress. it does a lot for these," he said as he pulled away to grab some air and cups them with both hands as he finished his sentence. he was a bit in awe, again. his large hands didn't even cover 2/3 of your tits, there was just so much he felt like a kid in a candy store.
"it's why i wore it, i like how it makes me look," you said as you stared into his eyes. your hands came to rest on his cheeks as your fingers rubbed over the stubble he had, seeing he hasn't shaved or bothered to upkeep his facial hair. you could see the grey and black peppered in his stubble, showing his obvious age, but not enough where you could ever think of him as an old man.
"tell me what you want," he said again, his hands resting at your hips and you smile.
"i'll give you anything you want, sweet girl. i'm all yours."
"i want you to fuck me however you want. show me how pretty you think i am," you said and with puppy dog eyes and whine, "please fuck me eddie."
eddie was trying hard to control himself with you standing between his legs, begging him to fuck you. you didn't even have to ask twice, he would've did it in a heartbeat. but he was worried, worried he wouldn't be able to do what he really wanted.
"what?" you saw the look on his face like he was contemplating something.
"are you sure? baby, i don't wanna make you uncomfortable." he said and you looked at him with an serious look on your face.
"i saw how mad you got in the bar because that guy called me fat. is it bad if i said i wanted you to fuck me in the restroom there?" you said, hoping he'd get the hint. you wanted him to be rough with you, at least once, so you know what he truly likes.
eddie's entire demeanor changed while looking up at you, his eyes grew a bit dark and his fingers squeezed tighter on your hips
"is that right?" he asked, standing up and spinning you around so that he can push you onto the bed and straddle your hips. while on top of you, he removed his shirt and threw it across your pink room. he put both hands on either side of your head, caging you in.
"you wanted me to take you in the restroom? would you have let me taste this pretty pussy in there too? maybe my angel isn't the angel i thought she was," he teased darkly, his lips going straight to your neck as he kissed and sucked on it, clearly leaving more bruises than before.
"ed-" you started but was soon cut off by a squeeze of your throat. you could feel your pussy clench around nothing, the way he watched as he choked you slightly.
"uh-uh, you've done enough talking tonight. you ran that little mouth of yours all night, hm? didn't expect that from my pretty girl," he said and took his hand from your throat, down to under the little black dress you wore.
"you want me to touch you right here princess?" he asked and you nodded frantically, trying not to make a noise.
"you gonna let me do as i please with this pretty cunt you have? i just have this urge to stretch you out, make you all nice and ready for my dick," he said against your cheek as he rested on his other arm, his hand dipping into your panties before pulling them down your legs as he went with it. now he's positioned in between your legs on the bed, your legs bent at the knee and his arms curled around your hips, gripping the tops of your thighs and your tummy that he finds so sexy.
he loved this position, and missionary, because he got to grab onto you and watch you until you can't go anymore. the way he grips onto your thighs as he admires the slick coating that was building up on your slit.
"m'sorry, i didn't shave and, she's kinda fat," you said, embarrassed. you wanted to give a headsup in case he was unable to find your clit, knowing it took a lot to spread the lips to really see your hole.
"even fuckin' better, don't tell me none of those little boys you've fucked never found the clit?" he said, looking up at you as you situate a few pillows behind your head so you weren't looking up at the ceiling. you wanted to see him.
"uh, they–i haven't really had anyone go down on me." you said as you moved your hands to your lips, biting on your nails.
"my, vagine, is fatter than most skinny girls. so, i don't know they don't usually gravitate towards that." you finished as he moved his position. you kind of started trying to close your legs again, his eyes going between you and your pussy.
"don't do that shit again, keep those legs open for me," he said as he slapped the bare cheek of your ass which made you pull your legs apart again. he situated between your thighs again before using both hands to push your legs further up, almost coming to your chest and you used your arms to hold your legs in place like that.
"look at that, fuck baby, you've been saving all this for me? i gotta say, i'm kind of glad none of those pricks went down on you." he trailed as he started to trace your pussy lips with his finger.
"wh-why?" you breathed shakily , watching through your legs.
"cus i'll be the first and the only one to ever taste this pussy," he replied and moved his lips down your thighs and over your pussy lip, moving his finger to tease your hole before finally dipping one inside of you as he used his other hand to spread your lips.
"fuck, look at you baby," he said, mostly to himself. he's so distracted and devoted to your pussy he doesn't even care that you've been talking this whole time, making noises left and right.
he manages to spread you open enough to see the nub of your clit and your labia, down to your hole that clenches around his one finger as he pumps it in and out of you.
"just like that, you're taking my finger so fucking good," he groaned as he watched you. he was rock hard and felt his dick strain against his jeans, almost uncomfortable but he didn't care.
your moans and throaty groans echoed throughout the room that was only lit by the christmas lights you had outlining your room, and a small dim lamp that was on the dresser across the room. you couldn't deal with how his finger felt inside, still not full enough but it still made your back arch as you cried out for him.
"what baby? you want my tongue? want me to eat this pretty pussy up?" he taunted and you cried.
"yes, please eddie please, i want your tongue, please eat me," you moaned, your eyes never leaving his even though yours flutter closed every once and a while. it felt like you were high, like you were fighting to keep them open.
"mm, i'm gonna need more than that," he decided and you huffed, which made him smirk as he added another finger inside. he noticed it was a little painful for you, but he just slowed down then sped up when you were ready.
"fuck, eddie please eat me out, i need it, please i wanna cum on your face, please let me cum for you," you cried out as you started to feel your arms give out around your legs, the pleasure of eddie's two digits weakening you to hold yourself up. eddie saw, and quickly used his other arm to press your legs to your chest.
"whatever you want, princess," he said and removed his fingers, using them to spread your pussy and flattening his tongue from your hole to your clit. but just as the pleasure started hitting you, he stopped and let your legs fall to their relaxed position.
"eddie what the hell?" you asked as you moved your arms on the bed, and he quickly took the opportunity to remove his jeans so that he's just in his boxers.
"i have realized that i need you sitting on my face. right fucking now," he demanded and of all things, laid on your floor.
"what are you doing??" you asked. you were so confused, a little drunk still, and hazy from the pleasure he was just giving you.
"stand up, and put your pretty pussy on my face. now." he demanded, watching you intently. you obliged, getting up from your bed still in your heels, and you walked over to where you were standing over his face. he could still see your pussy and the way your wetness was dripping down your leg, he couldnt help but groan at it. he needed you on his tongue right now.
"what if i hurt you eddie?" you asked seriously and he grabbed onto your calves, stating up at him as you stared down at him, your face barely peeking over the mounds of your breasts. you looked so delicious, he could eat your pussy until he fell asleep and would want to wake up right again between your legs.
"i really don't care baby, i want it, let me have it baby," he encouraged, gripping your calves and you reluctantly squat down just hovering over him.
"what'd i say? i said sit," he barked and it made you move to your knees now, still hovering and he spanked you, wrapping his arms around each leg and forcing your body down to literally sit on his face. you let out a small squeak as you feel his lips pressed against your pussy that's spread due to your legs being so far apart.
eddie wasted no time, his tongue swirled around your clit and labia as you stayed still on his face. he could tell this was new for you, so he grabbed your ass with both his hands and encouraged you to grind against his face.
"fuck, eddie, what-fuck oh my god," you said as you looked down over your breasts, his eyes only on you. he was devouring you, and when you finally got a whiff of confidence, you felt your hips grinding into his face trying to reach your own high.
"it feels sooo good, fuck eddie, please keep going," you begged as you moved your hands to your chest and moved the straps of your dress down your arms so you can allow your breasts to fall out of your dress. you needed that feeling of playing with your nipples while eddie sucks at your clit, moving his tongue to pass over your clit over and over.
you couldn't control yourself, the way he looked where you could only see his eyes and the bridge of his nose, and how you felt his hands start to move all over your body once you started to ride his face. you felt the way he started to lap up your juices and start to run his tongue from your hole to your clit as your grinding got more messy, not even worried now if he can breathe or not. he moved your own hands from your boobs as he replaced them, playing with them and toying with your nipples as he starts to focus his attention back to your clit.
"eddie please, it's-it's too much," you whined as he moved his lips to take your clit into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around your sensitive nub. you weren't used to having this much pressure between your legs and you started to get needy. the feeling of your horniness and neediness becoming stronger and stronger as you watched eddie look blissful as he played with your tits and ate you out like a starving man.
he wanted so desperately to tell you how beautiful you looked riding his face, how sexy it was that you were this soaked for him, how he never wanted to let you go. it was dangerous. he was getting obsessed with every grind, every moan, every whimper that was whined just for him. the noises that felt out of your mouth felt oddly unlike you, you felt like you could moan as loud and as much as you wanted since it was just you and him. and here he was, in your girly pink room, eating you out as you rode his face on your floor. it was intoxicating, and it was something that made you want to ride more than just his face.
"mmfph, fuck baby i'm—oh my god—i'm gonna cum, please don't stop, dont fucking stop," you cried out as your hands went to his hair, tugging and pulling as you tried to ride your high go completion. it didn't take much when eddie was watching your body wiggle and squirm over him for you to cum, and it didn't take eddie much to want to cum all over you, and in you. he kept sucking at your clit and licking over your hole as you grinded on his face, until he noticed your body starting to tremble a little, and that's when he started to flick his tongue over your clit with every movement as you slowed down.
"i'm cumming, baby fuck i'm cumming," you moaned and left your mouth hanging open as you tightened your grip in his soft curls, riding his face rougher to where you can feel his nose rub past your clit as his tongue flattened against your warm cunt, wanting you to use his face as you pleased. you felt it build up in your tummy and the way your thighs tightened around his head, your body halted and you felt yourself come undone on his tongue as you moaned and cried out from the sensation.
eddie just watched you, soaking in every detail of the way your tits looked when you shook, how your thighs almost suffocated him when you squeezed them shut from the tingling feeling lingering on your clit. you could feel everything throbbing, and if you moved you felt like you could cum again. eddie could probably say he was in love. he was obsessed. he knew there would be nothing to compare to watching you cum on his tongue. he also knew this image was going to be burned in his mind and his jack off material for the next three months.
you finally composed yourself as you still sat on eddie's face and suddenly remembered your hands were in his hair and your thighs were practically cutting off his air supply, so you clumsily moved yourself from his face and landing onto your bare butt next to him. your legs were still thrown over his chest since you couldn't bring your legs to your body because of how weak you felt, but he just sat up with his hands on your legs and faced you, a dumb big grin on his face.
"i need that again," he said and your big doe eyes turned into panicked ones, you weren't sure you were ready to do that again right now. you knew your clit was sensitive, and you felt yourself try to calm yourself down, but the minute eddie moved to be in front of you, looking at your position and how you looked, you felt that electricity go straight to your pussy again and you whimpered a bit.
"what baby, you wet again for me?" he asked and moved your legs apart to see your fat pussy again, making him groan and take his lip between his teeth.
"fuck, i need to feel you around me princess, get on the bed," he said and stood up from his spot, lending his hand down to grab yours and pull you up into his body.
"i got you, baby. okay? trust me. i'll never let you go," he said as he stared into your eyes. even though his hard on is pressing into your bare hip right now all you can think about is him. how beautiful he looked all flustered and hot, how believable he was. you craved him over and over again and so did he. he wished to wake up next to you in his empty bed, seeing your back turned towards him before scooting next to you and pressing kisses into your back. dreamed about having you on his lap in the kitchen as he drinks his coffee and reads his old man newspaper. he wondered if you wanted him the same way he wanted you.
he couldn't be rough with you even if he wanted to. because truthfully, he wanted to enjoy his time with you. he wanted to cherish you, to hold you, to see you as he bottoms out inside. he wanted to worship your body and mark you as his, to make sure everyone knows that someone is tasting you and fucking you how you deserve. he wanted to fuck you hard, and fast, and tell you how good of a slut you were for him. but he only found himself ever at your mercy, unable to hold his dominance over you because truthfully, you held it over him.
eddie was at your disposal. he'd do everything and more to see a smile on your face, to know you were feeling good. he couldn't fuck you rough like he did every other girl, at least not right now. this was going to be your first time fucking him, and an older man in general, and he refused to make it degrading and pure sexual intentions. he needed you to know how much he craved to be inside of you.
eddie moved the rest of your dress down your legs and to your ankles, helping you step out of it and telling you to sit so he can take your heels off too. you were drunk off of pleasure, love? maybe. watching this man move his hands up and down your legs as he moves to undo the straps of your heels and removing them made you feel something you'd never felt before.
to see him move your feet so he can press kisses into them, and up your legs so he can caress and touch your bare body. he stood back up and laid you back on the bed where your pillow rested, and slipped off his boxers as he came to hover on top of you. but when he began to move towards you he saw you start to try to turn over, assumingly on your tummy
"no, none of that doggystyle shit right now. i wanna see you, let me see that pretty face baby," he said and moved to trap you while he hovered over you. he pressed kisses into your face and down your jaw, to your neck and chest area. he didn't want the first time he's inside of you with your head turned away from him, he wanted to watch you come undone, to see your face and all of your body unfiltered. he had a thing for the way your tummy looked even if you thought he didn't like it.
"do you want me to use a condom, baby?" he asked as he kissed over your skin. he had one just in case of course, wanted to be prepared for anything.
you didn't think about it, and even though you were on birth control the only thing you thought about was feeling the way he would fill you up.
"no, please i wanna feel you. wanna feel you cum inside me please," you whimpered as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer, feeling his tip skim against your pussy lips and you jolt a bit.
"you're gonna fuckin' kill me," he groaned as he moved back to face you, watching your fucked out expression and how flushed your face looked. he couldn't believe what he was doing, what he was saying, who he was saying it too. in many ways it felt wrong, it felt almost criminal. not legally, but because of your father. he was worried about what would happen after this, what does this mean for the two of you?
"please, fuck me, i need you eddie i need your dick inside me," you begged with no mercy. you had no shame anymore, every ounce of resistance and pride you had was shot down. you couldn't resist begging for him as he teased your hole with his length. you managed to look down between the two of you and saw the sight of him positioning his girthy length into you.
he was even bigger than you imagined. the minute he took his boxers off you snuck a look, seeing the way it bobbed with every move and how angry and red his tip looked. he was thicker and bigger than most of the guys you'd be with, but definitely would rank the best of everyone.
"i'm gonna give it to you baby, you ready? you can take my dick?" he asked as he slowly went in and out of you with his tip, staring at you with nothing but lust and love.
"i can, please i can be good and take it all," you moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck and reaching to rub his cheek with your thumb.
"give it all to me, please, stretch me out like you wanted to," you said in a sultry tone, bucking your hips to his to try to make him go deeper.
"whatever you want princess, i'm yours," he said and started to slowly push himself into you, moving one of your legs up to your chest to get a better angle as he pushes further into you. he could feel the resistance of your cunt around him, how tight you truly were, and how much he was trying not to bust right then and there watching your face contort with your mouth hung open. eddie couldn't believe he could find you any sexier, but then you start to claw at his back and intertwine your fingers in his hair, telling him how good he feels being inside of you.
"fuck, i can feel it, you're stretching me so good baby," you moaned and watched as his face contorted to unbelievable pleasure. he refrained from fucking into you like a bunny because frankly, he needed to watch you. he needed to hear you and feel the way you felt around him without having the need to fuck you like he hated you.
"oh m- fuck angel, you take my dick so fucking well," he grunted as he finally managed to get balls deep inside of you, your body suddenly feeling tight and full of him. you practically felt him in your stomach, and without him even moving you felt his length and girth make you twitch and shake a little. it was a lot, way more than you were ever used to and he noticed.
eddie noticed everything about you. he saw your freckles when he was up close, he saw the blush creeping up from your neck to your cheeks, and he saw the expression on your face when you finally felt him give his all to you.
"you okay, baby?" he asked gently, moving your hair from your face and rubbing your cheek.
"mmhm, you're just so fucking big," you whined and shifted a bit to get more comfortable in your position with him still inside of you.
"you're so good for me, taking all of me in that pretty pussy, look at that," he said as he started to slowly pull out before slowly pushing back in.
"is that okay baby?" he asked and you moaned in response, the feeling of losing him just for him to fill you back up again was incredible. you couldn't believe he was inside of you like this, reaching places nobody ever has before you were practically a virgin.
"s' good, it feels so good, please-," you pleaded breathlessly, "please fuck me," you said and he kissed the cheek of your face and kissed down to your neck.
"anything for you," he mumbled and started to pick up the pace of his thrusts into you. you felt like you could feel the head of his cock hitting the spot that you yourself could never reach, and arched your back into his chest. eddie instinctively snakes his arm around your thick waist to hold you in place while he fucks you into the bed. his pace was hard but not incredibly fast, it was just at the right pace for you to feel it in your lower stomach.
"you looked so fuckin' pretty for me tonight, so fuckin' gorgeous," he grunted as he watched your tits bounce with every thrust, and he moved one hand to one of your nipples so he could play with them, like he did when you rode his face.
"please, fuck, eddie oh my god," you whined as his pace went quicker, now moving your legs to wrap around his waist as he holds himself up with his hands on either side of your head.
"talk to me, tell me baby," he encourages as he takes one hand strokes your face. you don't say anything because you physically cant, not with the way he's basically fucking the wind out of you. you just grab his large hand and place it on your neck.
"ohh, that's what my girl wanted huh?" he said with a shit-eating grin, you wanted to smack him. but the way his index finger and pointer finger pressed on one side of your neck while his thumb stroked the skin then pressed down, you couldn't think. you couldn't breathe, you couldn't fully capture this image of eddie fucking into you in your own bed while he choked you.
"eddieeee," you draw out as he looked down between the two of your sweaty bodies, watching how delicious it was to see his dick stretch you out ridiculously. he released your throat and pressed kisses into the skin of your neck, kissing over the slight bruise he created with his hand.
"you gonna cum f'me baby?" he asked, too drunk on pussy to really focus on anything else but you. he felt the way you clenched and pulsated around him and you almost lost him, he felt like he was a goner the minute he pushed you against that wall. he saw your hand go down to your clit to relieve some pressure, and he pretty much knew you were close.
"it feels, fuck i feel so full of you eddie," you panted, keeping your eyes on his and nothing else as he pounds into you. it almost felt like the recoil of the bed with every thrust made it easier to keep a steady pace, and it made you feel yourself build up that burning desire you've had for hours now.
"youre stretching me out so fuckin good," you cried as your eyes glossed over, feeling pleasure and pain as his cock splits you in half. you still hadn't gotten used to the size, or the way he holds you in his grasp.
"yeah? come on baby, cream on this dick, i need all of it pretty girl, my pretty girl," he said and reached down to kiss your lips, moving his slowly and obscenely against yours. he wanted to devour you whole, to taste you over and over again. you were his favorite flavor.
"please, please please make me cum," your breathing was labored and your bodies were both covered in a film of sweat, but he just couldn't believe you were anymore attractive than you were before. here you were, lying on your bed, taking him so well and he's just supposed to last?
"tell me i'm yours," he said and you almost snapped out of your haze, wanting to ask what he meant by that and if it meant what you thought it meant. he pushes your hand away from your clit and replaces it with his fingers, pressing onto your numb and slowly rubbing in circular motions.
"tell me baby, and i'll let you cum. you're all mine princess, am i yours?" he managed to ask as he himself felt his own release building from the way that you kept squeezing and clenching your walls around him. he'd never been so in a state of daze and dizziness that he was practically feeling his walls come down.
you couldn't say anything but the truth to him.
"you're mine, eddie, please be mine, i need you. let me be yours, i wanna be all yours," you were kind of just babbling at this point, but you meant what you said. the feeling of his fingers rubbing you while his cock fucked you with one leg around his waist and the other on his shoulder now, you felt him in angle you'd never felt anyone.
"cum for me pretty girl, wanna see you cum on my dick for me," he hastily said, his own voice covered in raspiness and desperation. you felt his thrusts get sloppy as you felt your release start to break down the walls, your cunt pulsating around him when you finally grab onto his neck and pull him down to you as far as you can, hugging his body as he kept fucking you through your orgasm.
"eddieeddieeddieddie," you cried repeatedly. "oh my god, i'm fuc-i'm fucking cumming," you cried in his ear and it sounded like it could be his favorite song. he could listen to you speak this way and call for him, moan and cry for him over and over again. he craved you in this way and now he finally had you coming undone around him, he couldn't help but smile against your skin as you started to jerk and shake under him. eddie managed to wrap his arms around you as you cried against his shoulder telling him how good it feels, wanting to bask in this forever. he didn't feel wrong anymore. he couldn't even manage to have a twinge of regret because right now he didn't care who's daughter you were, who his friend was, or if this was right or wrong. his heart was swelling just being in your presence.
"fuck baby, so good for me, this pussy is all fucking mine," he claimed and finally you felt his hips start to stutter, bucking against yours without a rhythm.
"fuuuuuuck, princess, fuck," he moaned loudly in your ear as he felt his cum pour inside of you, no barrier to protect. you knew that this wouldn't be the last time he was going to be inside you like this, you knew that every time would be more and more real, and you would fall more in love with him.
"i'm yours," you whispered as you felt him collapse on top of you, moving your fingers through his hair to see his face. you say it as in you're asking for clarification, like you weren't sure.
eddie moved off of you, kissing your face before walking out of your room naked and into the restroom. you kind of just laid there, your makeup smeared and your lungs aching for deep breaths. you were completely fucked out yet in the most adoring and loving way you've ever felt. you noticed that you didn't feel disgusting, or gross afterwards. and when eddie came back in, you turned your head and saw he held a rag in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. you didn't feel used, or made just for sex. you felt like you were glowing, or levitating.
"let me clean you up, okay?" he said and your eyes fluttered to his as he came and sat on the bed next to you, watching him put the bottle on your side table. you look to him lazily and nodded, letting him reach between your legs to wipe the mess that you two created. it was almost overstimulating, but it was over soon and he was sitting up on the edge of your bed with his hand on your outer thigh as you were laid down.
"i'm yours too," he whispered, moving the blankets to cover your body and let you get comfortable.
"do you want me to get you some clothes?" he asked as you struggled to keep your eyes open. he couldn't help but form a small grin as he started to wipe away the stray lipstick that was on your chin and the corner of your mouth. he knew that he had the same shade in his lips too, probably even more messily. but to him, it was just another for of marking him. he was yours.
you hummed no, and grabbed his wrist sort of tugging him towards you.
"can you hold me?" you asked looking to his face and he smiled again. he couldn't help but smile.
"that was the plan, baby," he said and decided to slip on his boxers that he found next to the bed and crawl over you, to the left side of the bed against the wall and underneath the purple bedsheets you had. he immediately pulled you against his chest, his arm wrapping around your waist and letting his hand rest on your tummy. his face was buried into your neck and your hair, not minding as he got to remember what you smelled like.
you wanted him to hold you and to feel what it was like to be cared for after sex, you wanted to soak in this moment where you didn't feel guilty and were ignoring your subconscious telling you that your dad finding out about this would be ruining. so you laid in eddie's arms, letting him leave tiny kisses on your shoulder and back, then moving back to his original position and listening to his soft snores that came quickly. you fell asleep to his own sounds, with the embrace of him keeping you safer than anyone has ever done.
it was bliss.
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TAGLIST
@bebe07011 @sleepy-bunnie @munsonzgf @emsgoodthinkin @olibxr @briamunson92 @uwantagoodbhloe
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stedefxckingbonnet · 1 year ago
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PLEASE WRITE BEING IZZY'S LOVER (gn) AND IZZY ACTUALLY SURVIVED BECAUSE IDK THEY EITHER MISSED OR THE LOVER MANAGED TO SAVE HIM OR ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO SAVE THIS MAN 😭🙏
I GOT YOU!!! Here's my little fix-it fic, all! Writing this made me feel a bit better because my god I finally brought myself to watching the finale even after knowing all that happened already and wow I was not okay. But perhaps this fic is me turning poison into positivity in my own way? Yeah. Yeah! I'll leave it at that :) This one is a bit shorter but, it's short and sweet, I thinl!
I didn't really want to recount the battle itself, just more-so the aftermath, so please keep that in mind whilst reading in case it feels like I dove in a bit too suddenly and quickly!
Keep the requests coming, all! I love you all so, so dearly.
Love,
Lavinia
My Favorite | Izzy Hands x Reader
Warnings: light angst (but there's fluff GALORE and it ends happily, i swear!), some strong language, brief mentions of being shot, tending to an injury/mentions of injury (non-graphic descriptions)
Word Count: 1481
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In your periphery, you couldn't help but notice Izzy suddenly hunched over, clutching his stomach. Everyone else managed to continue charging forward with their weapons, but you had other plans, and knew that both you and Izzy would be better for it. You rushed over to him without any hesitation, slinging his arm around you gently as you ushered him back to the ship as quickly as you could. His breathing staggered and the sound of it motivated you to move even faster.
You managed to rush him back to your quarters; in case the rest of the crew came stumbling onto The Revenge again, you would be able to focus on the most important mission of your life—helping Izzy Hands survive.
"I'm alright, love," Izzy breathed out, looking up at you as you cleaned the wound and prepared to bandage it.
"Clearly, you aren't," you laughed sadly, fighting back tears as you worked.
"You don't have to do this, you know," he sighed as he spotted you scrambling all over the place, very clearly in a panic about all of this. You so badly wanted to stop right there and scold him. You didn't have to do this? Was he fucking kidding? Of course you had to do this, you wanted to do this. You wanted him to be okay, needed him to be. You wanted to take away the harm brought upon him. You wanted to see him live another day and many, many more. You craved to see him go on to send you another one of his not-so-discreet-anymore smiles that got you through the toughest of times. You don't have to do this? How could he be so foolish? He was by far the most intelligent aboard the ship and yet, he still managed to say such a silly thing.
"Did you hear me?"
"Oh, I heard you," you almost seethed. "And once again, I will be ignoring your request."
"You manage to go and do that so much and yet, you're still my favorite," he weakly shook his head as he looked up at the ceiling and laughed under his breath.
You stopped in your tracks, for just a moment. You figured you could—Izzy was all patched up and all that was left to do was sit with him and make sure the bleeding stops and give him food, water, anything else he needed, and you were beyond happy to do so. You needed to be sure he was okay. But what he had just admitted to you earned quite a bit of a shock from you, a shock you couldn't quite process running all around the room. "I'm your favorite?"
He laughed once again, coughing immediately after and reaching to clutch his abdomen once again. You immediately sat down beside him, not realizing you had started to gently touch his cheek. "Isn't that fucking obvious? Everyone else sure as hell knows it."
You couldn't help but laugh yourself. "I guess? I don't know. You're my favorite too, you know."
"Oh, don't bother lying just because I'm injured," Izzy teased, reaching out to flick you in the arm.
"I'm not lying!" you threw your hands up in a playful surrender. "I mean it, Izzy. You know I do. And I don't want anything happening to you. I don't know what I'd do if you..." and with that, the tears began to spill out. Izzy knew there was no use trying to sit up, but he was able to extend his arm around you.
"I signed up for this," he shrugged.
"As long as I'm around, you are not dying any fucking time soon. Okay? You got that?"
Izzy's lips formed a smirk. "I love it when you get feisty."
"Shut up," you rolled your eyes as you giggled. Though suddenly, your expression hardened, and even Izzy noticed you were about to say something of the serious vein. "You really scared me back there, Iz."
Izzy could only sigh—he knew that none of the words he could muster would be enough to relieve you just yet, or even at all. And what was he supposed to say, anyway? That he was sorry he let himself get shot? Sorry that he didn't immediately seek help? Sorry that you had to see that? That he was so fucking exhausted of the life he's made for himself after all?
You made your way over to the foot of the bed, carefully sitting and stroking his leg. "I'm sorry," you suddenly lamented.
"Why are you sorry?"
"You just really scared me. I didn't want to lose you but I don't want you feeling bad about it either because it wasn't your fault you got hurt," you sighed, averting your eyes from his gaze.
Izzy slowly sat up, rubbing your upper back before gently wrapping his arm around you and resting his head upon your shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, you know. I promise."
"I know," you exhaled. "I just...I could have lost you, and that thought absolutely haunts me every time we raid or duel or see another ship at all, or even just roam about the Republic of Pirates, but I know this is your life and what you're used to and I would never yank you away from—"
"I don't want any of it anymore," Izzy suddenly admitted. "I'm tired. So fucking tired. And I don't even know how many wounds my body can take anymore."
You laughed sadly, craning your head over to look at him once again. Even after the years of suffering and pain that remained on his face at times, he was the most beautiful sight you had ever seen. And, he was healing as of late—you could see that, everyone could see that. "Well, what are you saying? And no, it isn't obvious—"
"I want to live," Izzy assured you. "But not this life. A different one."
"What would that look like to you?"
"I don't know," he whispered, almost ashamed of this answer.
"It's okay not to know. I'm up for anything as long as you are right there beside me," you reassured him as you planted a gentle kiss upon his forehead.
"Really? You'll stay with me?" Izzy asked in disbelief.
"I love you, Izzy. You. Not because you're Blackbeard's first mate, not because you're a pirate. Because you're you. You're Israel Hands. You are clever and caring and proud and you have so much else to offer this world, away from the sea. Beyond all this."
Izzy lifted his arms up from his sides, wincing as he did so, his hands flying back to his abdomen. You smiled softly as you ever so carefully wrapped your arms around him, making sure not to squeeze so tight. One of your hands made its way up to the back of his head as you gently ran your fingers through his hair. You suddenly heard him whimpering and it brought tears to your own eyes. At last, he spoke. "Fuck you."
You couldn't help but giggle as you sat back up once again.
"I love you," Izzy spoke sincerely, hoping with every part of him that this came across. By now, your face was in his hands, and he looked at you in such a way that truly did confirm his tenderness, his endless adoration that he reserved for you and only you.
You knew exactly the response he was searching for. He knew that you had love for him already—you were never exactly subtle about it. And he never exactly minded it. "I know that, Iz. I promise you."
"Suppose we should say goodbye to everyone?"
"We will. I just want to be here with you right now."
"I wouldn't mind that."
You lay down beside Izzy, draping your arm over his chest as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. He hums happily as you do, and he instantly settles into the warmth you provide. Before you know it, your eyes flutter shut and even in your dreams, Izzy Hands is there and you are together and you are living without fear and judgment, and the only thing you're stressing about is what to make for breakfast that day even though he'll always mumble, "Anything will do, darling." Perhaps whatever life the two of you should lead will come to you in your dreams and you will eagerly share these ideas once you awaken. In this moment, you were just grateful to get to spend the rest of your life with none other than him, and it almost didn't matter what endeavors you embarked on alongside one another from this moment forward. You finished the ditty Izzy was humming before you succumbed to the sweet dreams he wished upon you, and you looked forward to your dreams that were about to come true in just a few hours.
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farfromstrange · 1 year ago
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Butterfly Effect | Michael Kinsella x Reader
Masterlist
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Chapter Four: Dirty Chai
Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Barista!Reader (afab)
Summary: Michael can't stop thinking about you and you can’t stop thinking about him. Although the way you channel your feelings inherently differs. At lunch, you decide to become his personal coffee delivery service and hope it will get you some answers. He's not very open when it comes to his past, but you manage to see a glimpse of who he really is. Or, you take another shot at unraveling Michael's guarded heart, still hoping he will finally take a step toward you in return and that this odd attraction you’re feeling isn't just one-sided.
Warnings: Smutty themes 18+ MINORS DNI, male masturbation, allusions to oral sex, allusions to handjobs & allusions to p in v, fluff, pining, kissing, hurt/comfort, a bit of angst
Word Count: 6.7k
A/n: This is just a taste for what's to come, both in the naughty and in the angsty sense. Thank you all so much for your love and support so far and I am currently planning a continuation of this series with these two that follows the actual storyline and plot of the show but also with my own twist on it. I'm not sure when or how, but I've got the idea because Butterfly Effect has become by far one of my favorite fics to work on because it's just a bunch of human beings with no superpowers, and that's an awesome challenge after writing Marvel for so long. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!
Read All Previous Parts Here...
18+ under the cut!
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Michael dreams of you. Your lips on his, your hands in his hair. He dreams of the dress you wore the day before last, the soft skin of your thighs, the smell of your perfume, and how it felt to hold your hand.
He dreams of you and your godly lips. He thinks about what else you could do with them, how your hands would feel tugging at his hair as he gets on his knees to worship you, to show you that you deserve to be pleased too, and he wonders what the rest of you would taste like. You’re divine, there is no doubt about that, but he feels this desperate need to spread you open and eat you whole like you’re his last meal on death row. He craves more than a kiss. You’re everywhere as he sleeps, and your lips paint delicate patterns on his skin until he’s writhing in the sheets. 
With a gasp, Michael’s eyes shoot open. He’s lying on his back, his body covered in a sheen of sweat. He looks down. His cock is aching hard in his boxers. 
It’s morally wrong to think of you in that context. It’s even worse that he reaches into his underwear to find pre-cum leaking out of the mushroom tip, but he’s so hard, it hurts, and he can still feel your lips on his.
This obviously isn’t the first time he has woken up hard after a dream, but he had never craved it to be a reality until now, and that’s all he can think about.
If you hadn’t pulled away the day before, would you have asked him into your apartment? Would you have led him to your bed, take your clothes off, and spread your legs for him so he could indulge in something other than the voices in his head? He now knows that your touch can make the world go quiet. He realized that there is something about you being so physically close to him that makes all the blood rush from his head to his cock, and he feels as if he’s on a high or drunk or both when he thinks about the power of your hands alone. Your mouth though, that’s the strongest weapon you possess. Not just when it comes to words.
He remembers the kiss vividly. Your lips moved with a purpose like this was something you knew you wanted, and they moved rhythmically against his as if you’d done it a million times before. He remembers getting lost in how warm you felt. Your chapstick still lingers, and when he opens his mouth, he swears he can taste you. 
His cock throbs. It’s so wrong it already feels right again; the relief he feels when he starts stroking up and down his shaft to the faintest memory of your lips makes everything else turn gray. 
Your hand would be softer than his calloused fingers, but from what he could tell before, you have a stern grip and you would probably pay close attention to every last vein and the slit that drags through his tip with your delicate fingers because you never do anything short of perfection. 
You would be eager to make him come undone in the palm of your hands, maybe you would even use your mouth. Those lips that he only got to taste once would wrap around his cock. You would struggle to get him down your throat fully at first, but then you would hollow your cheeks and suck his soul right out of his body through his cock. The pleasure would be out of this world.
You would suck and lick at him, you would kiss him all over as your hands explore his body, and you would make sure he’s taken care of everywhere at once. Maybe your nails would rake over his skin, tug at his chest hair and find his nipples only to play with them. You’re addicted to detail, and you would feel so good wrapped around his cock – first your mouth and then your sweet cunt he suspects tastes just as perfect as your lips.
Michael thinks about you in the lewdest of ways and the guilt is knocking on his door relentlessly, but he’s lost in the feeling of his hand that he wants nothing more than to be yours as he strokes faster and squeezes his aching cock harder. His abs tighten. He groans and he pants and he knows by saying your name in such ecstasy makes what he’s doing even more wrong, but then he thinks about your mouth and that smile of yours turning into a slack jaw as you’re writhing and moaning his name, preferably with his head between your thighs or his cock buried deep inside of you instead of his sloppy hand, and he’s done for. 
It takes only a few more strokes before his cum spills messily into his palm and all over his stomach, and the orgasm is painfully intense, it drags on for ages as your face dances foggily in front of his inner eyes and your voice whispers sweet nothings into his ear. 
Perverse, that’s the first word that comes to mind when Michael finds his way back to himself. What he just did crosses so many boundaries, and yet the secrecy and obscenity of the situation makes his cock twitch all over again. You’re unaware of the thoughts you have put into his head. You’re so innocent, untouchable, and that makes you even more intriguing. He wants what he could have, but in his mind, he can’t have you, and that makes him want you even more.
Michael wants you in more ways than just because he’s seeking comfort, and as the physical need grows bigger, the demons in his head are going crazy with what it would mean if he acted on his desires the way he wants to. 
Do you touch yourself to the thought of him too? He wonders. Did he get you as worked up as you did him? He hopes. The thought of you touching yourself while moaning his name, perhaps with a vibrator or your slender fingers alone barely allows him to get off the cliff he jumped off from. He doesn’t want to think about it because you pleasuring yourself to the thought of him has the power to make him hard again, but he catches his mind slipping to the sight of you in your bed, the sheets barely covering your naked body as you fuck yourself, and his name slips from your lips so sinfully perfect.
Michael.
He groans. His cum sticks to his stomach, and it’s seemingly everywhere. He can’t do this again. It’s wrong.
All he wants to know is if he has the same effect on you, but you were the one who kissed him, you’re the one who keeps making moves, and he suspects he’s not so far off with his suspicions. But it’s dangerous territory he finds himself on, he realizes that now more than ever. 
And the day hasn’t even started yet. So much could happen in a span of twenty-four hours, enough to change the course of everything. He’s not consistent like you, and his life is too messy.
On the other end of the city, you’re floating. It feels like it, anyway. When you come to work that morning, everything is perfect. Well, it’s not entirely perfect, but you’re somewhere on cloud nine and can’t be bothered with theatrics. 
You serve every customer with an extra bright smile. Today though, you’re not being kinder than usual to make up for a bad day; you’re being nice because you’re happy. You feel fulfilled. The sun is out on the streets and especially, it is shining brightly into your heart. 
“Have a wonderful day!” you tell the elderly woman who ordered your signature latte when you hand it to her, and she gives you a bright smile back in return. 
It’s days like today that you live for. 
Sarah cocks her head to the side. “Okay, what did ya smoke today?” she asks. 
You stop humming the song that’s stuck in your head – whatever was on the radio this morning truly spoke out of your soul, and now the melody won’t escape you. “What?” you ask. 
“Yer very happy today. Unusually chipper. Especially to the fuckers who are being absolute cunts in here. So ya either snorted a line of coke this morning or somethin’ exciting happened last night.”
You ignore her suggestive tone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mhm, sure. Ya have a glow surrounding you. Did ya finally get some cock last night?”
“Sarah!” You swat her playfully. 
The customers in the café don’t need to know every detail about your sex life. You wish you had one, and you would probably glow just as much, but it was just a kiss. A kiss that makes you feel like you’re in another world, but still just a kiss.
You sigh almost dreamily. His mouth would surely feel even better all over your body. Attention to detail, you’re sure that might be his thing. It wouldn’t be the first time you fantasized about his hands or his mouth on you, but you don’t feel as comfortable doing it at work as at home in the privacy of your own bedroom. 
“Seriously,” Sarah snaps you out of it again, “what is going on with you?”
You twirl and throw the towel over your shoulder. With a grin, you turn back to her. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” you say. 
“I do, that’s why I asked.”
“Can’t I just be happy?” 
“If it’s about Mister Tall-And-Mysterious who came in the other day–”
You cut her off, “I have tables to clean.” 
“Did he come in ya this time?”
“SARAH!”
Her laugh echoes through the room, the blush on your cheeks threatening to overtake every inch of skin it can find. 
Grabbing a bowl of warm water, you make your way into the sitting area. Sarah’s eyes remain on you, and you can tell she’s suspicious. She won’t leave you alone until she’s got her answers, but you are still too happy to jinx anything; you would rather keep her guessing than gush about something that might shatter your heart sooner or later. For now, you want to be happy, and cloud nine is comfortable enough for that. 
Your eyes flick to the clock almost anxiously, counting down the minutes to your lunch break. When it finally strikes twelve, you’re back behind the counter and you’re using the lack of business to use the coffee machine for your own purpose.
Sarah watches you as you brew some espresso on one end while pouring a perfectly balanced chai tea into two cups. You add the coffee and the fresh foam, a bit of cinnamon and caramel, and to top it off, you paint an actual butterfly on it with cocoa powder, and that’s when she knows that you’re not preparing coffee for another customer or yourself, even. You’re doing this for someone else. 
You write the name on the cup in capital letters. “Perfect,” you murmur to yourself. 
“Should I book that Dirty Chai on your account?” Sarah asks. 
You cast her a knowing smirk and she returns it. 
“Go get him, darling. One of us has to.”
With a quick yet cheery, “Thank you. Appreciate it!” You lose your apron, get your bag from the break room and head out into the busy streets, the two to-go cups balancing in your hands.
You go past the gas station next to the deli a little outside of downtown, and that’s when you spot the car dealer Michael mentioned, and the car wash that connects to it. To you, this is the best idea you’ve had in a while. 
The jacket around your shoulders is his. You’re wearing a soft cardigan underneath; your skin is used to Dublin’s rather low temperatures, after all, so you can easily give the jacket back to him – although you considered keeping it that morning, and that thought is quick to reappear when you reach your destination. And then, you get nervous. 
What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if you interpreted the kiss wrong? What if he thinks you’re crazy for remembering where he works? And what if he tells you to go to hell and you will never find someone as special as Michael again?
Now you’re overthinking and quite frankly, you know you’re overreacting, but damn it, you can’t stop the spiral your mind falls into, not even if you tried. 
Getting what you want is so much harder in practice. Your thoughts have been all around him for a while now, but last night knocked it out of the park. Every living thought is about this man you barely know, and you woke up with the sudden urge to change that. You’re determined, and you are going to get what you want. 
As someone always so focused on doing the right thing and pleasing everyone else, meeting someone who doesn’t know how to make the first step because he, himself, is caught up in shit you don’t quite understand yet is a challenge that forces you to come out of your shell. 
You fidget with your dress. You hope the perfume you added before you left doesn’t smell like you’re trying too hard, and you send a prayer to a God you don’t believe that your hair isn’t ruined from the walk. The coffee is still hot, which eases your nerves a little, but you’re not even sure he’s going to like it – it’s a different take on coffee once again, one that you’re not sure if he’s going to like. Is he a tea person? If he’s not, he might not like it. What if he doesn’t? You’re going to look like such an idiot if he doesn’t like it and you came to his place of work just to bring him coffee that’s actually tea with toppings that don’t usually go into a Dirty Chai for nothing. 
You don’t want to seem like you’re trying too hard, but it suddenly feels like you’re a walking groupie if not a stalker already. 
No, you paid for these drinks, you painted a fucking butterfly onto the foam, which is a hard task to achieve, so you have to at least try. 
You once again take a step toward him. Now quite literally. 
Michael is engrossed in spraying down the Prius before him with a hose that he doesn’t see nor feel the curtain behind him shift. You watch him for quite some time, his sleeves rolled back and the rest of his clothing covered in wet splatters. His hair is disheveled. There is something tragically elegant about the way he looks, even when he’s a mess, and the flexing of the muscles in his forearm makes you sweat. 
“So this is what you do all day,” you decide to speak up. 
He almost loses control of the hose when your voice tears him out of the thoughts that were inevitably about you, too. He turns to look at you. You can tell he didn’t expect you to come. 
“That looks even more exhausting than my job, and I have to talk to people.”
Your name rolls off his tongue in a stammer and his cheeks flush a bright pink as if you caught him doing something illegal, and you find yourself smiling shyly back at him because obviously, you’re not here to embarrass or hurt him. 
Michael turns off the hose before it can wet you both, running a hand over his sweaty face. “You–” he collects his thoughts. “What’re ya doing here?”
You hope he didn’t mean to sound so harsh, or maybe he’s simply shy when it comes to you seeing this part of his life. You’re not sure, but you make sure to be a bit gentler from now on. 
You step forward and lift the cups in your hands like an apology. “I remembered what you told me about where you work,” you admit, “and I thought it would be nice to bring the coffee to you, for a change. You know, since you can never know how busy work gets and you– well, not to make assumptions or anything, but you seemed to quite enjoy the coffee I made you. Daily ritual type of thing, you know?”
He frowns. “So ya came here instead of waitin’?”
“Yeah, I guess. I’m sorry, did I– I mean, did I misinterpret something? Did I go too far? Is this pushing boundaries? Should I not have come? I– I’m sorry if I broke any unspoken rules. That was never my plan. I just thought… well, maybe that’s the problem. I’m so sorry, I–”
“No!” Michael responds, cutting your rambling short in the process. He can see the blush on your cheeks and the slight quiver in your voice, signaling you truly believe you did something wrong. It seems to break your heart a little, and that is the last thing he wants. 
He lifts his hand almost as if to calm you. “There are no rules and ya didn’t cross any boundaries,” he says. “I didn’t expect to see ya here, is all. I’m surprised.”
“Oh.” You hope he means it positively. “Sorry,” you say again.
“Not– not in a bad way. You… ya came here. Fer me. With coffee.”
You blush. “I did.”
He’s overwhelmed. Out of all the things he expected to happen, seeing you here was not on his list. You took the time out of your day to walk to him, and the thoughts that kept him awake at night reappear as soon as he sees your face; you’re wearing his jacket, still, and you still smell the same. 
This is a bad, bad idea, but it’s impossible to deny that he’s caught a liking to you. He couldn’t push you away the way he knows he should. If anything, his desire to keep you close at all times grows further now that you’re right in front of him, coffee in hand, and he reminds himself that you’re here for him – it’s an honor, almost, that you would consider doing this for him; it’s an honor that you care about him. A curse disguised as a blessing. The temptation is sweeter than common sense because he knows his common sense can be wrong too, and you’re exactly what he needs. He no longer has the strength to deny it, especially not to himself. 
“So stop apologizin’. It’s… sweet.”
Your blush deepens and it turns even your chest a distinctive red. “I also came to return your jacket,” you add when the silence grows awkward. You know talking too much will only make it worse, but you can’t stop yourself. You slide out of the item of clothing while trying not to disturb your drinks. “Coffee, a jacket, and some time. That’s what I can offer. If you don’t want to take it, that’s fine too, but–”
“Thank you,” he cuts you off. 
“Oh… you’re welcome? I just thought it’d be nice.”
“It’s very nice, yeah.” 
“I thought we could get to know each other more and… talk. That is unless you don’t want to, in that case, I’d apologize right away. I’m bad at reading signs sometimes. And I talk a lot. I don’t know how to shut up. I’m sorry.”
His eyes soften. He looks at you with newfound determination, and his words carry pure honesty. Michael steps forward to take the jacket from you, grabbing the coffee cup that has his name written on it in the same move. 
“I can take a few minutes off,” he says. 
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. 
Staring into his eyes, you forget your name for a second. You were bold enough to kiss him the other day, but all that confidence seems gone now. Your fingers brush him when he takes his cup, and the shockwaves that the simple contact sends through your body make you dizzy.
He smiles, but he’s just as caught up in the way he’s feeling as you are, and the confusion leads to an inner turmoil that makes it hard to sort out what exactly it is that sets his heart on fire when he sees you so clearly now, and when his hands brush yours like he dreamed it would. 
You’re wearing a dress again. It fits you perfectly. If you wanted to tease him, you should have just told him so because this is torture. 
How can one man dance around his own feelings and not acknowledge them or try to change something about them? He’s a tough nut to crack. 
You clear your throat. “I made you a Dirty Chai,” you say.
His eyebrows shoot up. “A Dirty Chai?” he asks.
“I know it sounds odd, but you know what chai tea is, right?”
“Right, yeah.”
“Do you like chai tea?”
“I’ve had one ages ago, but it was good.”
“Well, that’s a relief because while this is coffee, it’s also chai tea. It’s chai tea with espresso, milk, and some foam. Dirty Chai. Because it’s not pure–“
“The coffee makes it dirty?” he says.
You nod. “Exactly.”
“And is tha’–“ he sniffs the cup. “Cinnamon?”
“I noticed you like cinnamon.”
He wants to wipe that stupid blush off your cheeks. You look way too good, even in the dim lighting of the car wash. 
“I also drew a butterfly into the foam,” you say, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.
Sarah was right, you suck at flirting, and he probably thinks you’re insane now for how fast you’re talking. You’re a barista, you’re used to remembering orders, but you memorized his likes in particular and that just feels weird to you.
Though when you look at him, you’re met with an unexpected look of pure adoration. 
Michael stammers, his cheeks flushing the same color as yours. He puts his jacket aside and lifts the lid to check on your painting – you didn’t expect him to do that. You’ve meant it as a nice gesture, but now he’s actually looking at it and he fills your heart with warmth and your tummy with butterflies. It sounds like destiny, almost. 
His lips curl into a soft smile. The butterfly is as clear as day. You have a talent for all things that have to do with coffee, and no matter what you bring to the table, he finds himself in awe of your competence every time.
“That’s almost too beautiful ta drink,” he mutters to himself.
You look away. 
“Thank you,” Michael still has his eyes on you, “that’s lovely.”
“You’re welcome,” you say.
He puts the lid back on. “Would ya like to walk with me?” 
You smile, nodding along. “I’d like that very much.”
He guides you out of the slippery car wash back onto the street. You walk in silence as you sip your drinks, the sun shining down on you with only the softest touch of heat while the wind continues to rustle the leaves in the trees.
The awkwardness was to be expected. Neither of you has found the guts to mention the kiss, and now that you’re taking a stroll through the streets of a part of Dublin you’ve barely been to, you’re not sure if there is even a right time for you to say what you want to say – you’re not even sure what you are capable of saying any more.
Michael’s shoulder brushes yours and you shiver. He’s so close, your heart beats faster at his proximity. He wears the same cologne that is etched into his jacket, but he also smells like the soap he uses to wash the cars.
“So, yer a writer then?” 
It surprises both of you that he’s the first to break the silence.  
There’s a difference between pretending to be interested just to make conversation and being interested in what the other person has to say, and with Michael, it’s clear that it’s the latter. When he looks at you, his eyes always meet yours and he makes sure to tilt his ear in your direction so he can hear what you’re saying. He’s attentive. He cares. He doesn’t expect people to care about him, but he pays attention to everyone else and he shows when he’s interested, even if it’s not intentional. It makes you feel more comfortable talking about something that has often filled you with dread.
“Yes,” you say. “That’s right.”
“What do ya write?”
“Well, I tried my hand at a few things, but what I got stuck on the most were period pieces.”
“In the style of Jane Austen, ya mean?”
Your eyes light up. “That’s exactly it!”
“I figured,” he smiles. “I read sometimes and ya strike me as the kind of person who would would get inspired by Jane.”
He reads. It’s a small detail, a small piece of information that you will cherish forever because he opened another door in his heart to reveal it to you. 
“Ya must be good then,” he continues, “if ya write stories set earlier in history, I mean. Not everyone can do tha’.” 
You smile. “I have this, uh, old book collection at home,” you say, opening another window to your own heart. “It’s the first time I fell in love with a story from the past. Not just because it’s a classic, but because it drew me in. I wouldn’t consider myself a history buff, but there is something enchanting about stories told during that time that make me want to do the same.”
He hangs onto every word your say. He’s not much of a talker but he’s a good listener. He probably learned to be quiet in the past because maybe he was forced to, and now he sees the world, but he doesn’t say much about it. He only listens. 
Your pinky finger brushes his as you walk a little closer to him. “Jane Austen’s stories have such a sad beauty. I love modern romance as much as the next person, but there is something about classic literature that makes me want to convey the same vibe and reimagine past times. And perhaps romanticize them,” you say. “Because life sucks sometimes and people need to romanticize every aspect of it, even if it’s just the past, you know?”
His focus remains entirely on you. He hums, telling you he understands, before forming a gentle smile. “Have ya ever thought about publishin’?” he asks.
“Thought about it, yes. But I’ve never even finished a book. I don’t have an agent or a publisher on the line ‘cause I haven’t come far enough yet. It’s the reason I work at the café now. A desk job wasn’t for me, but I can’t seem to find my footing when it comes to writing because I don’t know how to finish something I’ve started. It’s kind of an exhausting feeling, I have to admit.”
“Yeah,” Michael murmurs, “I know what that feels like.”
“It’s a lot more complicated than that. I used to let it tear me down, but with this job, I don’t see a reason why I should anymore. So I tried being more optimistic.”
“No, I get it. I can see tha’. Ya don’t strike me as a pessimist.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are ya apologizing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, don’t. Not fer somethin’ like this.”
He stops and you halt your step, too. You find yourself right in front of him. His breath fans across your skin. He’s being nice to you today. Not that he’s ever been not nice, but it feels different today.
“I’m Michael–“ his hand stops halfway, hovering just above your cheek, “Kinsella,” he says. 
He looks at you as if that’s supposed to ring a bell, but other than that it sounds familiar, you’re not sure how you’re supposed to react. 
Your smile reappears fully; now you know who he is. At least his name. But your souls feel connected enough already to say that you know his essence, who he is inside, and not a single story from his past could ruin that. You see the person he is, nothing else matters. If only he could accept that. 
“Okay,” you say, and you tell him your full name in return. He deserves to know.
He smiles almost sadly. “I hate washing cars,” he admits.
“I figured,” you say.
Between the two of you, there is a lot you have managed to just figure. There is a silent understanding that exceeds knowing all the details about the other’s life. You’re prone to romanticizing, but with Michael, there is a raw realness to it that has nothing to do with pathetically wishing things to be good. You’re good for each other. That’s the truth, and it’s the truth you should focus on.
And Michael Kinsella seems like an honest enough man to you that you feel like giving up would be the wrong choice, no matter how hard he is to get around.
“I was away for eight years.” He’s opening up without saying much, but it’s the truth nonetheless. “And then I came back and everythin’… changed. The place yer working at, the Butterfly Effect, I didn’t even know it was there until I found it. I used to frequent Mister and Mrs. Dunham’s coffee shop tha’ was there before ya, but that was eight years ago and there’s so much shit I don’t recognize. It’s like the air has been poisoned.”
With a confused frown, you ask, “What do you mean?”
His nostrils flare. He takes a deep breath. “Yer not like that,” he says.
“Okay?”
“Yer a breath of fresh air. I, uh, appreciate that. I think.” 
You tilt your head. “Oh,” you breathe softly. Your palm meets his shoulder. “Well, you shouldn’t be breathing poisoned air, so I’m glad I’m not that.”
He glances at your hand. 
The next question burns on your tongue. “Why were you away for so long?” you ask him then. 
He stiffens under your touch and his eyes grow weary, almost vacant. You hit a nerve. Michael almost recoils. He knows you might, too, once you get to know who he truly is, and that’s what has him in a chokehold, and the fear makes it impossible for him to talk. 
“Most of the time, people don’t just go away for eight years without a reason.”
You’re too curious for your own good.
“Wasn’t voluntary,” he says. 
“What do you mean?”
“What I said.”
“Why is it–“ you kill the space between you and press yourself flush against him, “–that every time I think I’ve seen a glimpse of who Michael Kinsella really is, I still don’t seem to get you?”
“Because it’s dangerous out there, love.” This is the first time he’s called you that. “Honesty turns into a weapon that gets people hurt.”
“People you care about?”
“Yes.”
“And you care about me?”
Weakly, he nods again. 
“Are you scared?”
“You’ve no idea.”
His vulnerable admission makes you reach for his cheek and cradle his face in your hand. He drops breathing. “You know, I am driven by this desperate need to get to know you,” you admit. The hairs on his face feel soft under your fingertips. 
Michael closes his eyes. “Not a good idea,” he says. 
He wants to tell you everything. You’re the kind of person who doesn’t have a single bone of judgment in her body and that’s dangerous. It could get you into a lot of trouble, and the thought of losing you is something he can’t bear.
You shrug. “I know, but there’s something about you…” 
“What’s tha’?”
“I’m not sure, I just get the feeling that deep down, you just need someone to take care of you,” you say. Your hand still rests on his cheek and he nuzzles into your gentle touch. “That you want to be happy and leave your past behind, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
You’re tumbling dangerously close to an edge Michael might not be able to pull you away from, but you’re so close, he can’t push you away. You draw him in. And your words have never been more true. He wonders if he’s really such an open book, even if it’s just to you because you read him better than he understands himself. 
“And talking about it to people helps, you know? Sometimes, you just have to let someone else in or you’ll never find true happiness.”
When have you become so wise? You often don’t take your advice, but it seems like the people around him don’t usually try to pull him out of the dark hole he’s in but rather force him to live with it, to be silent, to be shy, and that feels wrong to you. No one should ever have to feel this way, not even when they claim it’s their life.
Which Michael does, a lot.
“There’s things ya can’t understand,” he says. 
“You’d be surprised at just how much I’m capable of understanding.”
“God, why do ya have to be so insufferable?”
“I don’t know,” you retort, “why do you?”  
His chest heaves with a sigh. “We should go.”
As he turns to leave, you grab his hand and haul him back. “I don’t mind not knowing everything,” you try again, “but it would make things a lot easier.”
“I told you my name,” he says.
“I know.”
It’s just a name. 
He shakes his head. “I don’t get it.”
“What?”
“You.”
“What about me?”
“Yer way too nice to a man like me,” his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks. Michael’s face has fallen and his eyes glaze over with a sad darkness. The world is on his shoulders and he is slacking under the weight. 
You want nothing more than to hold him. Your hands brush his shoulders again. He doesn’t flinch away, he stays. 
“I just care, there’s nothing more to it,” you say. 
He can’t put his feelings into words. The fact that you care fills him with a sense of being loved that he is not quite used to feeling. You’ve lit a fire in him. It won’t die. But the voices in his head often have a different plan.
“It’s okay to ask for help, Michael. You’re not alone.”
And then your arms wrap around him and you pull him close. He’s hesitant at first, the feeling overwhelming, but then his instincts kick in and he hugs you back. His head lands in the crook of your neck, clinging to you like you’re his lifeline, and you make sure to tighten your hold so he knows he’s safe in your arms – because he is. You’re a terrible fighter, but you can keep his heart safe. You can protect his soul the way he deserves. That, you can do. 
This is different from the first time you hugged him. You were thankful back then. When you hug him this time, it’s more emotional, it’s intimate, and you get lost in each other’s arms for what feels like an eternity. 
He pulls away with a heavy sigh. You look at him. “Are you okay?” you ask. 
Michael can only nod. 
Your hands move from his shoulders to his face again. You cradle his cheeks, and for a moment you’re scared of breaking him. He looks so fragile, his skin reminding you of the thinnest glass that might break if handled incorrectly. 
He holds eye contact with you. Your eyes switch between his lips and the brown of his irises that look a lot more green in the sun, then back to his lips. You lean forward. This isn’t you; something deep inside of you is controlling you, compelling you to kiss him, and you’re too weak to fight the urge. 
Your lips finally find his again and all the lights in your brain go out. They short-circuit. 
His grabby hands find your waist, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. You’re not the only one who is eager today, but you’re too lost in the feeling of his soft, plump lips moving against yours in a fight for dominance to even care or pay attention to much more. He no longer wants you to take the lead; Michael presses his lips and body against yours with a force that catches you by surprise, and he catches you with his arms that function as a safety net. 
You feel so alive. He holds the back of your neck with one hand while the other travels across your back and then high enough to brush the seam just below your breasts, and you gasp. You’re in public, but he’s relentless, and you’re forced to take what he gives you. 
His hands are everywhere. It’s like he wants to memorize every inch of your skin, to brand you into his brain. Calloused fingers caress your bare thigh and your arms, his lips never wavering in their intensity or how skillfully they move against yours in a rhythm you both seem to know without ever having heard about it. 
By the time you pull away to breathe, your lips are swollen, your pupils are blown wide and you’re sure his hands on your hips left their mark from how hard he was gripping the flesh. 
You have to find your footing again. The distinctive haze that has found its way over the wasteland of your thoughts clouds everything in its path. It makes your knees go weak and your vision turns into a fog. His eyes are the only thing that manages to shine through. 
Michael touches his lips almost as if he can’t believe it happened again. You never turn down a challenge. He’s convinced now that you want him and he wants you, but other than the physical aspect, he is scared of what it might mean, of what it might do to you, and how much more he can screw up in such a short amount of time, and he stands there like a statue, his thoughts turning into a destructive tornado that makes rational decisions impossible to make. 
Your lips are as soft as he remembers them. Your hands in his hair felt like heaven. He got to touch your skin this time, and whatever he imagined this morning didn’t come close enough to what you truly feel like. 
You run a nervous hand through your hair. “I, um—“ you lick your lips. “My lunch break is almost over,” you manage to say. 
He slides his hands into his pockets. “Yeah,” he says, “Mine too.” Except Amanda might kill him because he doesn’t have an official lunch break. 
“Did you like it?”
You’re such an idiot.
He blinks, flabbergasted. “What?”
“The chai! I meant the chai. Did you like it?”
“Oh! Yeah. I mean… yeah, it was grand. Thanks.”
“Good.” You adjust the straps of your bag. “That’s good,” you say. Your cheeks are redder than a rose at this point. “I’m glad you liked it.”
He nods. “Me too.”
“I liked it too. The chai. Dirty Chai. It’s a real success. People like it. But I also like other things, you know? It doesn’t have to be dirty. It can be dirty because dirty is better, but– well, I– about today, I mean, I–“ 
You should stop talking. 
A silent curse slips your lips. “I have to go back to work,” you say. That’s not what you were trying to say, but it saves you the embarrassment. 
Michael raises his hand, but the ‘Wait,’ that’s forming on his lips and the question for your number gets lost in translation. “Okay,” he says instead. 
You expected more from him, but it’s clear that there won’t be coming much else from him soon. 
“Okay,” you repeat. “Have a nice day, Michael.”
“Yeah, you too.” 
“Thanks.”
He watches you leave with your head hung low and your steps a little faster than they were before. It doesn’t take long for you to disappear around the corner, leaving him standing there, pondering what could have been or should have been and what an idiot he had been. 
He should have just asked for your number. He should have come out of his shell because it’s the same you have been doing for him consistently the past few days. You deserve someone who can take a step toward you, not someone who chickens out at the last second. You deserve someone better than him. 
Michael crosses the street with a heavy heart. He shouldn’t have let you go. He returns to work with twice as many thoughts, and every time he closes his eyes, he can see your face clearly now. You haunt him in the best ways possible, but he suddenly finds himself scared of ghosts. 
He’s not sure how much longer he can withstand the storm inside of him, but you deserve better than what he can give you, and that’s the kind of self-loathing he will continue to carry with him until he sees you again because he knows that when he does, he will only fail again. 
Next door, unbeknownst to him, Amanda has been watching him through the window behind the cars. She saw him leave with you and the kiss unfolded right in front of her eyes like a bad movie. She doesn’t remember seeing your face anywhere before, and Michael hardly ever talks about his personal life, but you seem different. You seem normal. Someone who wears butterfly clips in their hair is not cut out for the kind of life he stems from, and Amanda grows suspicious. 
A few seconds later, the line clicks. “It’s me,” she says, her eyes fixated on the now empty spot outside where you once stood. “Listen, I just saw somethin’ and I think… I think ya need to talk with your brother before he makes a mistake.” 
Unbeknownst to Michael, a storm bigger than the one inside of his is brewing outside, and it comes in the shape of none other than his own family trying to take away the only sliver of hope he’s had since prison – and he is not prepared for that. 
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Tagging: @bellaxgiornata @loveroftoomanyfandoms @acharliecoxedfan @lina-mar @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella
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heavysoldat · 3 years ago
Text
are you alone?
bucky barnes x fem!reader
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summary: after two weeks without bucky, he’s finally able to give you a call. and you plan on making the most of it.
warnings: SMUT (phone/facetime sex, mutual masturbation, breeding, excessive dirty talk, mentions of oral & vaginal sex, name-calling), fluff, angst if you squint, i am the absolute worst at endings
notes: here’s something sappy for the road! lets play a game called “can jo write a fic without breeding being involved?” (the correct answer is no, apparently)
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Two weeks have gone by so slowly.
Sam insisted they’d be gone for only one. Only one week, one mission, one simple mission, and then your man would be home at your doorstep to greet you like he always does. Just one week.
That was two weeks ago.
The bed is colder than usual, and your morning routine is lonely without his annoying presence hovering behind you as you try to pour your coffee. Everything you once found annoying, you now find yourself missing— craving even his blank stares, snarky comments, clingy presence and closed-off nature. Everything about him you just want home.
You’re lying in bed, watching some sitcom your friends have been begging you to watch. The laugh track is boring into your head, fueling the already started ache in your brain as you find yourself dissociating, a sadness washing over your shoulders; a longing, a desperation, a—
Ding!
You almost jump out of your skin as your phone goes off.
Peeling yourself from your laid back position, you grab it from your nightstand, staring at the glaring light of the screen.
Bucky: I miss you.
It takes you aback. He hasn’t had cell service for almost the entire trip, the only communication you’ve had has been crackly phone calls that you lost him in not even halfway through, but you had given up on those on the fourth day.
You: You have service?
Bucky: Not even a “I miss you too”?
Bucky: Yes. We got a new hotel. Place has wefi
You laugh at his misspelling, falling back onto the pillows behind you. It’s been so long since you’ve felt like this, felt the happiness you’ve only had with him around. You missed it. You missed him.
If only you could see his face.
You: Can I call you?
He answers almost immediately, with an eager “Of course”. You position yourself, lining up with the headboard and sitting up, adjusting your hair with the help of your phone’s front-facing camera. You can feel nervousness filling up in your stomach at the prospect of seeing him again, every nervous thought you could possibly have serving itself to your brain— what if he doesn’t miss you?
As soon as you click the video call button, he answers, but it’s dark. Once he realizes it’s a video call, he jumps to fix it, bringing his phone up to his face, mumbling obscenities as he tries to set a good angle.
“Fuck, warn a guy,” He mutters, flattening down some of his hairs sticking out of place.
You smile. He looks handsome, tired, but happy. His stubble has grown out, the light grey patches on his chin more noticeable, the hair spreading out into almost an actual beard. He’s shirtless, clearly in pajamas, arm on full display, as well as the scars littering his chest. The bags under his eyes have darkened, clearly from stress and lack of sleep, and his eyelids are peeling down over his vision. But he has to stay awake for you. He has to see you.
“What time is it there?” You ask, already worried about how tired he appears.
He turns to look off screen; presumably at a clock, “Twelve.”
“Bucky,” You sigh, “You need to get some sleep.”
“I don’t know how long I’m gonna have a connection for. Couldn’t take that chance of not bein’ able to see you, honey.”
That fills your chest up with butterflies. You can almost feel every anxious idea flush out of your head. You smile, and he returns it; delighted by your happiness, pleased that he’s the one that gave it to you.
“How you been doin’ without me?” Bucky asks.
“Bad.” You say, blunt as ever.
He laughs. The kind of laugh where he looks away, raking his hand down his face to rest on his chin. Makes you yearn to touch him. “Miss me that much?”
“You have no fucking idea.”
He stares, silently, for a long beat, organizing his thoughts as he gazes at you, taking in everything about you. What you’re wearing, how you did your hair, where you are, the expression on your face. It’s been so long since he’s seen you. He doesn’t know how long he has now, doesn’t know how long it’s gonna take since he’ll see you again. He has to memorize every line, every detail, so he can burn it into his brain like a photograph. Something to keep with him, to keep him going.
“I missed you too.” He finally says.
You take the time to memorize him, too. That brings a soft, quiet smile to his lips, watching as your eyes rake over him.
“How’s your mission going?”
Bucky sighs, hard and heavy. “It’s goin’. Had to delay ‘cause the target kept relocating— but we managed to track him down again. Should be done in about a week, if it goes well.”
You frown. “A week?”
He returns the same facial expression. He doesn’t miss how your voice cracks, how your face falls, how your steady breathing stops for a moment. He can practically hear your heart fall in your chest. “‘I know, honey. ‘M sorry. If it were up to me, I’d be in a plane headin’ down there right now. You know I would.”
Your eyebrows furrow with dread. “I hate this.”
He sighs again, just as heavy. “I do too, baby.”
After a second of silence, the sad kind— he starts to smile, “Just keep thinkin’ about me and I’ll be there before you know it.”
“Trust me,” You say, “I haven’t stopped.”
“Me too,” He hums, curious, leaning his phone up to adjust himself. “What have you been thinkin’ about?”
You shake your head as you rake your brain, smiling, tugging your lip between your teeth. “Nothing I can say out loud.”
He clicks his tongue, a knowing smirk gracing his lips, “Why’s that?”
“Are you alone?”
Bucky’s eyebrows raise. He almost laughs at how quickly you get here, before turning to his door, listening for anyone outside—
“All alone, doll.”
“You tell me first.”
“I asked you first, honey. You tell me.”
You take in a breath, sharp through your nose, staring at your man through the camera; the way his chest is moving, the scars, the skin, it’s enough to fuel your confidence, and horniness, enough to finally speak.
“I miss how you touch me.”
Bucky hums, clearly imagining it. He urges you to continue.
“I miss everything about how you touch me. Miss your hands, miss your lips, miss your hugs, miss… miss your cock.”
His eyebrows raise, slightly taken aback- despite the fact that he knew it was coming, just didn’t expect it so soon.
“Mmm,” He hums, raspy, rumbling in his chest, “I miss touchin’ you.”
“Yeah?” You ask, watching as he nods. “You miss my pussy?”
He lets out a long, heavy breath, “You know I do.” eyeing down, “Can I see her?”
That makes you chuckle, even though you’re equally desperate to see him, too. “Take a girl out to dinner first, god,”
He laughs.
Despite your teasing, you oblige. Sliding your hand down your shirt, stolen from him— it had been a stay at home day, so thankfully, you were in comfortable, easy to remove clothes— pulling down the band of your shorts along with your panties. You pan the camera down as you move. Slowly, making sure to take your time, before you finally get to the holy grail.
You haven’t shaved in a while, due to his absence, but Bucky doesn’t care— that's the last thing on his mind. He lets out a groan at the sight of your pussy, wet since you first saw his face, glistening in front of him. His mouth waters, practically feral to taste you.
“Wish I was there,” He grunts, “Wanna taste you so bad, doll. Touch yourself for me, fuck, please.”
You clench your thighs when you hear the rustling of pants. Eyes moving to the camera, you see his arm moving down, clearly palming himself through his shorts. Your cunt clenches around nothing, and you whimper with a bite to your lip, beginning to rub your clit in circles.
“Mmhmm, yeah.” Bucky moans, “Dip ‘em in for me. Fuck yourself.”
You do as he tells you to. Fuck, it’s almost pathetic how easy you give into him, how easy you do anything he says when he uses that voice— but even that has your cunt gushing.
You’re fucking two fingers in yourself, rubbing your clit with your thumb, propping the camera up on the nighstand and adjusting to face it.
“Lift, fuck-“ He pants, “Lift up your shirt, I wanna see your tits.”
You tug your shirt off, throwing it to the side. With your free hand, you grab and tug at your hardened nipples, moaning like you’re being paid— and it’s driving him fucking crazy.
“Bucky,” You whimper. “Wanna see your cock, please.”
Bucky mimics your movements from earlier, propping his phone on the nightstand and facing it, tugging his sweats down just enough to free his length. When he grabs it, it’s hard, hot and throbbing, the vein on the side looking fucking delectable, twitching just for you. He begins to rub himself up and down, panting, groaning at the movements, but unable to take his eyes off of yours.
“You wish my fingers were fuckin’ your pretty cunt, ‘stead of yours?”
You shake your head, trying so hard not to close your eyes as you give into the pleasure.
“No?”
“Mm-mm.” You moan, “Want it to be your cock. It’s- it’s the only thing that fills me up just right,”
He tosses his head back with a moan, practically fucking his own fist. “Yeah? Want me to fuck that pussy just the way you like? Fuckin’ fill you up?”
“I want your cum so bad, Bucky,” You’re moaning, whimpering as you tighten around your fingers, desperate for something bigger. “Want you to fucking fill me up, get me pregnant,”
“Oh fuck,” His leg starts twitching, starts getting faster, “When I get there, we’re not leaving that bed until I have you good and bred- not leavin’ till you’re fuckin’ round and full. Not gonna be able to get my cock out of you, fuck, gonna wanna keep fuckin’ you.”
“Yeah, Bucky, please, I’m so close,”
“Look at you, fuckin’ dirty girl. Getting off at the idea of me gettin’ you pregnant? God, are you that much of a whore? That’s, fuck, thats so fucking hot. Need you to cum for me, doll, fuckin- cum so hard for me, need it so fuckin’ bad.”
With a final, whining moan, you clench and gush around your own fingers, your orgasm making you tremble with the force. You can barely make out his own broken groan as he cums around his own fist, painting his stomach and his thighs with his spend.
You’re both panting, smiling at each other as you wind down- the endorphins you’ve both been needing flooding through your bones like a ravine. It’s finally peaceful.
“Oh, god,” Bucky laughs, looking down at his crotch, “Gonna have to clean this up.”
“I’d lick it up, if I were there.”
“Fuck, baby,” He groans with a chuckle, “Can’t say shit like that, gonna make me hard all over again.”
God bless that serum. “That such a bad thing?”
Bucky squints, a large, beaming grin covering his features, “You trying to go for another round, doll?”
“You said it yourself, you don’t know how long we’re gonna have this connection. Should make the best of it while we can.”
And you do.
3K notes · View notes
jcwriting · 4 years ago
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Written in the Stars
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summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.
pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader
genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)
word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped
warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!
authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)
(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)
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You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.
It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.
From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.
Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.
Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.
He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.
So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.
“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”
You couldn’t help but agree.
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Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.
Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.
The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.
“What did you just say?”
You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”
“How do you know I was in my rut?”
“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”
Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?”
He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”
You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”
Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”
“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”
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Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.
(It had become your favorite sound.)
For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.
Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.
“What did you just say?”
“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”
Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”
Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”
“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”
“What color is your shirt?”
“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.
“Jungkook!”
He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.
“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.
“Are you going to kiss me?”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”
“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”
Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
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Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.
“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”
“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”
You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”
“Do you?”
Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”
He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”
You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.
By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.
Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.
“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”
“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”
“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”
“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”
“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”
“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.
“Do you know what a true mate is?”
Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.
Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.
“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.
“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”
“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”
You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.
By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.
“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”
With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”
Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”
You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”
“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”
Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”
Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”
Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”
Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”
“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.
Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.
“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”
“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”
You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”
“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”
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Two years passed.
Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.
And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.
Except, for one tiny thing.
While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.
It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.
The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.
He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.
This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.
While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.
By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.
This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.
You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.
Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.
Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.
A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.
That’s what you felt now, fear.
Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.
From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.
“Enough, Taehyung.”
“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”
“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”
“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”
“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”
“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”
“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”
“Like what?” Jungkook spat.
“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”
“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.
“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”
“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.
“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.
“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”
“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”
Oh.
That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.
Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.
You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.
Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.
It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.
“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.
You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.
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It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.
Well, that was a lie.
Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.
I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.
You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?
“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.
“Why do you say that?”
You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”
Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.
By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.
Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”
“Christ, you look like shit.”
You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”
Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.
“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”
Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”
“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.
Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”
Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”
“Take however long you need.”
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It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?
Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.
His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.
But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.
Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.
The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.
With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.
When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.
Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.
“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”
“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”
It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.
“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.
“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”
“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”
You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”
“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”
The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.
“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.
“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”
You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”
“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”
“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”
“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”
But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.
“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”
“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”
You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.
“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.
“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”
“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.
“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.
“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”
Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”
It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.
“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”
“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”
Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.
Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”
It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.
You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.
“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.
“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”
Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”
With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.
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It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.
The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.
He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered.
“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”
“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”
“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”
You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”
Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”
A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”
“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.
“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.
“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.
Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”
“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.
“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”
Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”
Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”
“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”
Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”
“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.
“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.
It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.
“Love you forever, my darling girl.”
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©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.
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levisgirll · 3 years ago
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How about one where levi comforts his s/o on her birthday? She maybe doesn't feel as important or not good enough? My bday is actually coming up and im a bit anxious for it and i tend to cry on my birthdays for no reason, but now im feeling as if i have a reason to cry? idk but i just would like some fluff/comfort with levi bc i love him sm. Thank you!
𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)
text: hello anon!! First of all thank you so much for your lovely request I would gladly write this up for you 🥺💕 and second HAPPY EARLY/LATE BIRTHDAY <3 I hope I am not too late and you get to see this post either on your birthday or before :,) I hope you have a lovely day filled with love and laughter cause everyone deserves that on their birthday 🥰 and also I hope this post somehow helps you go through with your bday and makes u feel perhaps less anxious or sad! I kind of felt like this on my last birthday but I went to read some fanfics and they kind of helped me out and made me smile so I hope that is the same case with you when you read what I wrote for you :,) also i made this modern au ahhhh
synopsis: it’s y/n’s birthday! He tries to make this day special as it is since he wants his s/o to realize that! Later he finds out that his s/o feels on this very day not that important and also tears up. As Levi discovers that, he does and says things only on your birthday that really made you surprised and on this day you felt extremely good and special y/n cries happy tears instead <3
comfort fluff, bit angst, a little bit suggestive (?), modern au ♡ —
Today is the day, and not any day but Levi's s/o birthday! He woke up extremely early for this day. He had already planned out what to do coming from a man who is pretty much organized and ahead of things you weren’t shocked to see him getting up quite early.
“Levi..?” Y/N said in such a soft and tired tone, it really warmed his heart. “Love...Happy birthday.” He would go near your ear and whisper that, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn't mean to wake you up...Go back to sleep.” He would say as he pushed your hair back gently that was laying on your face. You felt his warm fingertips brush against your cheek and you open your eyes slightly to look at your man, Levi that was up and putting his shirt on. You got up a bit reached out and pulled on the his shirt “Wait...don’t leave.”
He turned around quickly and looked at you, ‘Why does she sound uneasy....?’ He would wonder as he came closer to you and kissed on top of your head. “Silly, I’m not leaving or going anywhere. I’ll be in the kitchen so just rest a bit and I’ll wake you up later on, Hm?” Levi said with a smile, after the war and when you both left Paradise to start a life in the outside world, Levi started to smile more, laugh and be even more affectionate towards you and this warmed your heart. He promised you that he would protect you till the last days even if there was no war anymore and also....promised you to show you more love cause he deiced to spend the rest of his life with you, and he was in progress in doing that!
After a couple of hours, you felt a small rub on your shoulders. “Time to wake up birthday girl” He gave you a warm smile and helped you get out of your shared bed. You felt how gentle, and careful he was for you...he truly did cherish you and loved you a lot, you meant the world to Levi.
As you were brushing your teeth, Levi was brushing your hair and when he was done he would put his arms around your waist and kept kissing your neck until you were done and ready.
Your cheeks were red now and you had a shy look on your face. “Ha, Don't be shy with me Love, it’s just us alone.” He would say and softly rub your arms. “Let’s go then?” and you give him a nod and held on his hand.
When you both went downstairs, you gasped and was taken aback by what you saw. A beautiful breakfast that was set up and prepared for the both of you, a sack of pancakes with fruits that was cut by him, your favorite fruit juice, and there was a vase with a bouquet and you could see a card that was hidden in the beautiful flowers he picked out for you and it was written ‘Happy Birthday my Dearest’
“Wow, you did this for...me?” You would say while giving him a sad expression that almost broke his heart. “Who else?” He said with a sarcastic tone and pulled your hand towards the table. You and Levi enjoyed the breakfast and you both had a good morning filled with laughter.
“Sit down, I’m gonna clean the dishes” you nodded and went to sit on the coach. You then started to feel...a bit anxious? Y/N wondered how the rest of the day would go and you started to think if what Levi did was all worth it?
“Love, what's wrong?” Levi was quick to read your vibe, he approached you from behind, and sensed you were feeling perhaps down. “Nothing...”
“Yea I’m not gonna buy that, tell me....What’s wrong?” Y/N stood up slowly and was looking down, her hair was covering her face and that made Levi quickly go in front of her and held on her shoulders. Tears then started to roll down from your cheeks and Levi pulled you to his chest for a hug. “I-I don’t know why I’m tearing up! But I am feeling as if I have a reason to cry and I usually cry on my birthdays Levi...I’m sorry, it’s probably for nothing.”
“Why are you apologizing?” He hugged you tighter and then proceed to stroke your hair. “These feelings are completely normal, why apologize for it? But it’s okay you don’t need to explain why you are crying love.” Levi waited for y/n to calm down as he caressed her hair, and Y/N pulled her face away from his muscular chest and looked up at him. He gave a small smile to her and wiped her tears “Let’s....make those tears not for ‘nothing’ or for ‘no reason’ to be wasted, but instead let me make those tears a reason for you today. A reason that caused you to smile and laugh today.”
Levi was now looking at you in such a loving way, you could feel all his love, emotions, the way he caressed you, hugged you, touched your hair gently and now holding both of your hands, it warmed your heart. He was indeed a man who was really mature, and has a great deal of empathy towards Y/N. Levi understood your feelings cause of the deep love he had for you. “You are important to me, okay? So, let me make those tears....happy tears instead.”
After a while, Levi told you to get dressed up and ready because he was going to take you somewhere. You both left your apartment that you both shared at the moment and walked down the street, while Levi tightly holding your hand and on the other hand he was carrying a brown paper carrier bag which had something in it. “What’s inside?” “A surprise.”
Later did you know, you both reached a huge garden park and you saw a group of people that you recognized. Your friends! “Everyone!”
As soon as Hanji hear you, Hanji came running towards you and hugged you tightly which was then followed by Jean, Mikasa, Armin and the rest all wishing you a happy birthday!
You then spotted Onyankopn, Falco and Gabi preparing the huge picnic filled with a variety of delicious food and then Levi brought out the cake which he designed and baked just for you.
The whole afternoon was spent with your loved one, friends and you all had such a great time, playing some card games, tennis which Jean and Connie that they brought along with them. You were packed with so many gifts too, and Levi was holding on to your waist and hand the whole time and would sneak in some kisses on your cheek when no one would look. Hanji then talked about how your relationship was going and Levi would suddenly talk really highly of you, and pamper about you then he would mention all of the times you meant a lot to him and he cherished.
The sun started to set and everyone was heading to leave, and Levi held on your hand and you both went to see the sunset while sitting on the bench. You found the sunset really beautiful, but to Levi he thought you were more prettier. He held on your hand and then said while focusing on your eyes “You know...When you are not around, I always crave for your touch. You just make me feel good so I always find myself a chance to hold your hand constantly.” Before you could say anything, he gave you a box that was wrapped with a ribbon. “Open it.” Your eyes widen when you saw the gift, it was Rose Gold Watch and it looked rather expensive but extremely charming. He went closer to you and brought your wrist closer and wore the watch for you. “I knew this would suit you.” Levi smiled again and looked at you, tears were now forming on your eyes but this time...it was happy tears and you gave him a big smile that really warmed his heart. “Thank you Levi, I really love you...” He went closer to you and kissed your cheek which washed away the tears that was rolling down. “I love you more....And didn't I say I would make that happy tears today, Hm? But we aren’t done, your birthday did not end yet”
After you both reached home, you both went to the bedroom and you started to change into your comfy silk nightgown, while Levi took of his shirt and was only...wearing his joggers? ‘Wait...He would only do that if he is in the mood’ You thought as you started to blush slightly.
“Lev-” Your words were taken aback when Levi suddenly embraced you and kept his face in your neck while bring his arms around your waist. “Can...I make you feel good tonight? I want to make your birthday memorable....just for today.”  It was more of a whisper when he said it, and you managed to hear it all even though you could feel his heart beating fast.
Your face was now red, you could feel his back muscle tense up and the detail of it as you caressed his back. You nodded, which Levi sensed and acknowledged, but asked again. “I need to hear your answer love.” He was now looking at you and he held on your shoulders, waiting for a response and he would not let you go until you answered. “Yes Love” You said with certainty and looked back at him which he suddenly blushed with you how you responded. Levi did had a tough and strong personality from the outside, but when it came to moments like these he was really soft and usually shy but tonight he wanted to try his best for you, cause you meant the world to him.
He picked you up and you could feel his biceps around you which you held on as he gently laid you on top of the bed, with Levi being on top of you. He leaned in closer and gave you a kiss on your forehead. “Oi! I can be romantic…So why are you giving me that look?” He said with a smirk and that made you laugh. “Hmm...Prove it then.” You challenged him and that made his ego boost up. He proceeded to kiss all over your face which made you giggle as some of them tickled, and then he stopped and reached the edge of your lips which made both of you open your eyes and gazed into each other, both feeling the affection and attraction. “Shit...it drives me crazy when you look at me that way.” He went and kissed your lips, it was soft, slow and very passionate...you could feel all of his love in that kiss as you held on his biceps while his arms where between you for support.
“Where....else do you want me to kiss you?” He moved closer to you as he whispered near your ear, you felt his hot breathe which made you shiver. “A-Anywhere..” You were a blushing mess right now, but you weren't alone your boyfriend Levi’s face was redder than yours.
“O-Okay....Y/N I’m gonna make sure tonight you feel loved tonight, and I want you to focus right now how good you are and how wonderful you are.” As he said that, your face was burning up, ‘what made Levi say this all?’ you wondered.
He came closer to your neck, and was kissing it...you held on to him and hugged his chest, and he was doing it gently. This then left a small hickey on your neck and he was surprised as it was kind of dark.
“I will leave this mark on you so you can remember my love tonight, and know that you are always in my thoughts Y/N” He brought his hand and caressed your cheek which you held on, “And...when its gone, I’m here to give you another one.”
Perhaps, in the days you cry, there would be sad days, but today was a special day which was your birthday, and that not only gave you any tears but instead happy tears which was cause of Levi giving you the warmest/sweetest comfort and love throughout the whole day and especially the whole evening. You really did love Levi Ackerman.
well i hope you enjoyed this! I tried something new and I really see levi doing this for his s/o especially in days where he wants to make them feel loved and he really tries his best to comfort them <3 I hope you loved this anon and you get to see this and also if anyone else did please leave a like or a reblog! ♡
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alicee1 · 4 years ago
Text
Finally back
Revived! Wilbur x Reader
Warnings: talk of death, grieving, character death (Wilbur), reunion
Word count: 1.7K
Synopsis: After Wilbur got revived by Dream he first rushes off to find you, right in the place where you had spent the night before L’manburg got blown up together with you. Angst followed by fluff/comfort
Request:
what if revived wilbur returning to a (he/him or they/them) reader and the reader who was with wilbur the night before l'manberg went boom being like super over emotional and stuff because they hadnt seen their lover in a while and just good ole comfort coming out of the reunion :0 (please the wilbur revival has had me craving wilbur content </3)
A/n: Not gonna lie, this was really hard to write at first cause of the pure angst, but i figured out a way! I really hope you enjoy it and it was really fun to write actually. Thank you for requesting!
Rules, Masterlist
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"I'll come back to you."
Maybe you had been a fool to believe his words. Both you and him knew the chance was small that he would come back unscathed yet in that moment, those promising words that left his mouth were all that mattered.
The night before the bombing of L'manburg you had spent together with Wilbur. It had been calm and comfortable, spending the night in each other's arms and reminiscencing past memories. Neither of you had spoken a word of what would happen the next day.
He had built a small cabin in the woods where he stayed with you, his little escape from the outside world and all the problems that came with it.
For a while you had seen Wilbur start to slip, his sanity slowly seeping away under the pressure and responsibilities he carried.
He didn't speak to you often about L'manburg and Pogtopia, wanting to keep you seperated from his work and worries.
You had been his escape.
No matter what had happened outside the walls of your small comfortable cabin, it was as if a switch was flicked as soon as he stepped inside.
Even if it was just for a moment, he could leave all his worries and problems behind and seek comfort in your arms.
You were his cliff against the stormy sea that were his thoughts and problems, an unrelenting barrier he could escape to.
But as the day crept nearer he had explained to you what his plan was, sitting down with you as he explained what could happen.
You had known where he was when you awoke to an empty bed that morning. His warmth lingered in the blankets and his scent in the air. Leaving behind his promise to return to you from the night before.
His words were believable, you truly believed he would return to you. For the past days he had made up his mind, through cracks you thought you could see glimpses of the Wilbur you had once known.
Nothing could have prepared you for the news that Phil brought with him.
It felt as if you were torn apart piece by piece before getting out back together, yet his death left a gaping hole behind.
You had etched his name into the large builder that laid in your back garden, without a body to bury it was the most you could do as memorial.
Desperately you had clung onto the traces that he had left behind in your cabin. The pack of cigarettes left on the table, his spare beanie that hung discarded on a chair. A small pile of crumpled up papers discarded as he attempted to write letters to his father.
He never send the majority of them. After everything had gone south and he had retreated to the woods and Pogtopia it just seemed like he couldnt keep up the lies anymore.
You never touched anything he held left behind, afraid it would get rid of his last traces in the cabin. The objects were cleaned often but other than that remained untouched.
It was a few months until a see through apparition had found its way to the small cabin. It was one of the first times you had left the comforting space after Wilbur's death only to be faced with someone, something, that looked so much like him.
It had made you curl up under the protective blankets of your bed as tears streamed down your face as you grieved.
Although it had taken a long time, you learned to move on. Despite that his last traces in the cabin stayed untouched, but you healed. Slowly, step by step, but it happened.
You returned to the way you lived before. Besides the crater in your heart that you weren't sure would ever heal, you picked up your activities one by one.
You started gathering wood again, hunting for meat and gardening in your back garden where you had started a small vegetable farm beside the memorial builder.
Each time you passed it you traced your hand over the stone, lingering for a few seconds as you remembered him before moving on with what you were doing. Although you would always make sure there was a small bouquet of fresh, hand picked, wild flower laid on the stone.
The apparition didn't appear again, making you believe you had imagined the entire ordeal in the first place.
The fireplace was lit again when you were at the cabin, the windows opened to let in fresh air. Due to the secluded nature of the woods you could easily leave the windows and doors open as you gathered for materials.
Wilbur hurried away from the crater where L'manburg once stood. He left Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo, who he had just met, behind there. Plans and ideas shot through his mind although he needed to figure something out first.
He reached the cabin in the woods, he didn't even have to think to remember the way, his body leading him down the path automatically despite it having been 13 years.
The small clearing was still exactly the same as he remembered, the cabin stood peacefully in the middle of it.
Wilbur could see a new vegetable garden beside it, surrounded my fences with lanterns attached to light it up in the dark.
The windows and doors stood open, making his entrance effortless as he entered.
The place still looked exactly the same, although he could see the small changes that had occured over time. But in general, it looked as if time had stopped flowing inside.
The pack of cigarettes laid unmoving on the bedside table that stood on his side of the bed. His spare beanie hung from the side of the clothing chair that stood in the same corner it had been in 13 years ago. The fireplace that always spread warmth and a soft golden glow when he returned to you was reduced to a smouldering pile of ashes, indicating you hadn't been gone for too long.
A small hand drawn map hung from the wall that hadn't been there before.
The only thing missing was you.
Today you had chosen to go fishing, something you had enjoyed doing before but a hobby you had left neglected for a long time.
The ripples in the water were calming as you breathed out, instantly you knew why you had always enjoyed it. There was something peaceful in watching the sun's reflexion in the small ripples the water created as the red and white striped ball floated gently along the stream.
You stayed by the river for most of the day, only returning at the end of the afternoon, satisfied with the catch of today.
As you returned home, you were caught of guard by the steady smoke that gently rose from the chimney. You could see it from a little distance away, making you question if you had checked that the fire had died before you left.
The sack you had stored the fish in hung from your hand as you gently opened the door with the other, the setting of the sun had allowed the fire to cast it's golden glow through the cabin.
That wasn't however what caught your attention. Instead the cloaked figure in the middle of the room did.
A dark cloak you could recognize between any other, paired with a beanie similar to the one you saw every day as it hung from, what had once been your shared, clothing chair. Underneath messy brown hair could be seen.
It was an appearance you could recognize in a heartbeat as tears gathered in your eyes, the sack slipping from your grasp as Wilbur turned around at the sound of the door opening.
He didn't say anything, just opened his arms invitingly as you stumbled forward, crashing into him and burying your head in his shoulder.
His hold on you was tight, he breathed in deeply through his nose, inhaling your scent as his arms squeezed harder around your form.
He had missed you so much. In those 13 years spent at the station, all he wanted was to see you one last time, to apologize for leaving you behind.
There had not been a single moment where he hadn’ t longed for your touch, for your presence, in comfort.
All that time he had thought he truly wanted to die, that this world wasn't for him. All that time you had been his deciding factor without even knowing.
But now that he had experienced it, was there and seen what it was like, he was sure of the truth, his truth.
Ha had a new lease on life and this time, he wouldn't throw it away. He had learned.
He melted into your touch as you leaned back, cupping his cheek and wiping away the stray tears he hadn't even realized that flew down his cheeks.
In your eyes he could still see the same love for him as he had seen that night. You still looked exactly like you then.
He pulled you closer, inhaling your scent as he realized he was holding you, the real, physical you, in his arms once more. You smelt like water, grass and the forest. It was a scent he would burn into his mind of he could.
You pulled him towards the bed gently, forgetting what you had been doing before entering the house and tackled him onto the bed in your hold.
His voice was rough as he spoke, pulling you closer against him as he mumbled against your skin. It may have taken him 13 years to do it, but he did it.
"I promised you I'd come back to you."
284 notes · View notes
astronomoney · 4 years ago
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IDK if you're still taking requests or not, but the latest fix on D. Wayne was 😍🥰. For part 2 can you add the prompts 11 from fluff, 6 from angst and 20 from neutral pretty please?🥺🥺
Pairing: Damian Wayne x fem!reader (age 16ish)
Prompts: Prompt list ☁︎11- “Hey hey hey, it’s ok i’m here. It’s just me ok, you’re safe.” ᜊ6- “I don’t care about you anymore.” “i’m starting to think you never did.” ⚛︎20-“Please be quite, i can’t even hear myself losing my will to live.”
Summary: After the fight you had with Damian things have been tense but sometimes bottling up your emotions only make things worse (i can’t do summary’s to save my life) enemies-to-lovers because i’m a sucker for that shit
Warnings: Blood, swearing, kinda character death i guess, Damian being a dick as always, angsty teens being angsty teens
A/n: this is a part 2 but you can find part 1 here once again this took waaaay to long to write literally i could not figure out what to do but whatever because i did it and i’m proud of myself for it (Masterlist)
Word count: 3k jeez these are getting longer
Tag list: @battlenix @pleasestophoney wow look at that multiple tags
Part 1
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Love and War pt2
Spending spring break in Wayne manor had its ups and downs. Ups included a huge library in the south wing, delicious homemade meals every day, and the best water pressure you’d ever experienced. The downs included 8 hours of training daily, getting lost while trying to find a bathroom, and having to spend way too much time with your arch enemy.
Technically he's not your enemy. At least he’s not supposed to be. After the fight you had last week you couldn’t be sure. You’d had fights with Damian before but this felt different. Usually after a fight he'd sulk for a few hours but then it would go back to normal, but this time it didn’t go back to normal. Damian had been avoiding you for almost 8 days.
You knew the fight ended too soon and you both had more to say but if he was going to act like a child and ignore you then you weren't going to stop him. You still had to patrol with him but it was considerably quieter. The manor was big enough for the both of you and after a few days you'd figured out his schedule and how to get around him. Tim let you train with him, so as long as you stayed on your side of the gym and Damian stayed on his you didn't have to interact with him at all.
It wasn't until the 4th day of break that you had to talk to him. Bruce had to go meet with the league for the day so training ended early. You had a couple hours before dinner and decided reading would be the best use of that time. You walked down one of the many hallways lazily dragging your hand along the wall until you reached a door. You couldn't remember exactly where you were but you were about 75% sure there was a couch in this room, so you pushed the door open.
Inside you found tall ceilings paired with dark wallpaper, a tall window with the thin white curtains pushed out of the way, and a couch. Actually it was three couches but after 4 days staying here you'd gotten used to the large number of furniture that was there for no reason.
The couches formed a square with the open side facing the window lined wall. The first two couches were empty but when you stepped farther inside the room you saw someone sitting on the third one. Of course the one room you picked to go into also happened to be the one room Damian was sitting in. He looked up from his sketchbook and immediately frowned.
There were two options in front of you. You could back out of the room and leave him be but then you'd be backing down from something that might not even turn into a fight which made you seem weak so really you were left with only one choice. You straighten your back and closed the door behind you, officially leaving you in a room alone with Damian for the first time since the fight. You walked over to the couch facing the windows head on and sat down on the side farthest from him. He watched you the whole time but you paid him no attention, instead you simply opened your book and began reading.
You felt his eyes leave your form and you let out a quiet breath. You heard a page turn and a  pencil being dragged lightly across paper. It had been over a week but nothing seemed to be getting better between you and him. Patrols were a nightmare beforehand but now that he'd switched from constant criticism to almost no comments you found that you preferred the former.
Damian's pencil against the paper was the only sound in the room and yet the silence seemed so loud. You hated it. You hated having to avoid him all the time. You hated not being able to talk to him anymore. You hated how far away he felt even when he was right next to you. Above all you hated that you didn't hate him as much as you used to.
You never realized how much you talked to him until you didn't. It was a weird feeling to miss someone when you hadn't even known you cared about them. You honestly just wanted to apologize and let things get back to normal but as you sat there staring at your book you couldn't bring yourself to say anything.
After three to many nightmares where Damian got hurt, you finally realized how badly you needed him back. So you took a deep breath, swallowed your pride, opened your mouth, and prayed to god that something would come out.
"Look-"
"Damian-" you both spoke at the same time. "Sorry, you go first." You apologized.
"No you can go first." He replied almost nervously. That couldn't be right, he never got nervous.
"Uh I was just going to say, well i've been thinking lately,"
"You?" He asked sarcastically.
"Oh haha really funny. Will you just listen for a goddamn second." He was not making this easy. "I know we haven't been talking much ever since, well you know and uhh." You couldn't find the right way to word it. You were still too stubborn to outright apologize but you knew he would never say sorry unprompted. "You've just seemed... off, lately and if it has something to do with me-"
"It doesn't." He cut you off. "I'm not 'off' and even if I was you definitely wouldn't be the cause." His expression was blank but calculated.
"Well jeez you don't have to be so rude about it." You sneered back at him. "What were you trying to say anyway." So much for your apology.
"I've convinced father to change our partners." His voice was flat and he seemed bored with the conversation.
"You what?" You stood up. You couldn't believe he actually did that without talking to you first.
He stood up as well and was a few inches higher than you. "We don't work well together, you can't tell me you don't agree."
"I don't! We've been a great team! Remember the Penguin pen raid or Mr Freeze's death ray thingy." you exaggerated your point by waving our hands through the air. "We stopped those. Together. You can't just go around changing things without asking me first!" You were fuming.
"Sure I can! We only stopped those villains because of what I did, you just got in the way." he pointed at you.
Here we go again, the blame game. The endless cycle of 'he did this she did that'. You were so sick of it. "That's bullshit and you know it. I can hold my own on the field just as well as you can. And you know what! I don't even want to be your partner anymore."
"Neither do I! You can go play hero with someone else while I do all the real work. I never wanted you on the team in the first place!" He stared you down and if you weren't so fired up you'd probably be intimidated.
"God you're so annoying!” You threw your hands up in frustration. “You think you're so great and no one can even come close to you but in reality you're exactly like the rest of us!"
What were you doing? This wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to apologize and make things right but now here you were screaming at him again. You almost couldn't help it. Fighting him gave you a sort of rush that you craved. It was like a drug and you were addicted to the pain. You didn't want to fight him but it was the closest thing to a conversation you'd had in over a week and at this point it was enough to satisfy your need.
"I'm going to prove that i'm better than you. I'll do it on my own too!" You told him.
"Go ahead and try! You can do whatever you want because I don't care about you anymore."
You stepped back, stood as tall as you could without going on your tiptoes and took a breath. "I'm starting to think you never did." You said calmly, it seemed to catch him off guard and he didn't retaliate. You grabbed your book and turned towards the door. Dick was standing there, completely still and staring at you and Damian.
"Woah." He said awkwardly. He clearly didn't know how to handle the situation he'd just stumbled on.
You pushed past him and into the hallway. Tears were building up in the corners of your eyes so you had to move fast, the last thing you needed right now was for them to see you cry. 
Damian watched you walk out before turning around and groaning. "I can't believe her," he muttered to himself. "I'm starting to think you never did. That doesn't even make sense."
"Because... you do care about her?" Dick asked. It probably wasn't the best choice of words.
Damian looked back at him with an almost offended expression. "That's ridiculous! I don't care about her, that was basically the whole point of our conversation."
"Was that a conversation? The part of that 'conversation' I saw seemed more like her yelling at you and then you... yelling back." He stated the obvious.
"That was completely her fault," Damian defended. He seemed angry but it wasn't his usual kind. Usually it was directed at someone or something and usually that thing would get acquainted with his katana but this time he was mad at himself and he couldn't understand why. "I don't care about her." He repeated quietly almost trying to remind himself more than anything.
You spent the rest of the day hiding in the guest room. You planned on staying there forever and letting yourself fade out of existence but the universe had other plans. 3 hours, 5 episodes of your favorite show, and a nest made of blankets later you got a call from Tim asking you to come to the cave.
He didn't tell you why he needed you, he just said to meet him in the lower level of the cave so when you got there you were very surprised to find him and Damian standing in the hallway. You groaned internally and considered turning around and just walking away but Tim spotted you before you could. Damian's back was to you so he didn't know who it was until he turned around and you saw his face fall.
'Nice to see you too asshole' You thought to yourself, walking over to stand near him but still keeping your distance. "What did you need?" You asked, wanting to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. You kept your eyes ahead trying not to look at Damian and you had the feeling he was doing the same.
The entire mood of the dimly lit hallway had shifted from the moment you locked eyes with him and the tension was noticeable. Tim looked between the two of you before clearing his throat and bringing the attention back to him. "I actually don't need anything."
"So then why did you call telling me to come down here?" Damian asked, clearly annoyed that Tim was wasting his time.
Tim smirked in response and opened the door before Jason, who was behind you apparently, pushed you both into the room before either of you could react. You landed on top of Damian with a grunt. Once you realized you were on top of him you felt your cheeks turn red and you stood up quickly. You could have sworn you saw the slightest bit of a blush on him but you were too preoccupied with the now locked door to think about too much.
"Ok love birds here's the deal, you're petty hormone fueled fighting is driving us crazy and now we're doing something about it." Jason told you from the other side of the small glass window. "We said you were gonna lock you in a room until you figured out how to get along and now we're following through." he smirked.
"I swear to god if you lock me in this room with him,"  you motioned towards Damian, "I will drop kick you into the sun."
"If you let us out now maybe I won't kill you," Damian threatened alongside you.
"Maybe if you’d learned to talk to each other like normal people you wouldn’t be here in the first place," Tim said. "We'll be back after patrol so you've got about," he looked at his watchless wrist "4ish hours. Have fun." And with that they both walked away.
"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWA- and they're gone. Dammit." You cursed and hit the steel door which hurt a lot more than you thought it would. "Shit," You shook your hand.
"Well that was just stupid," Damian scoffed at you, taking your hand to examine it. He always did that sort of thing on patrol so you didn't pull away or even really register what he was doing.
"Oh i'm sorry, is my frustration not smart enough for you?" you sneered back. "What even is this place anyway," You looked around the small dark room, determined to not look him in the eyes.
"A containment cell for metas, we haven't used it for a while so the power blockers are probably turned off." he told you before releasing your hand. "You definitely bruised it but you'll be fine."
You reluctantly thanked him and turned back to the door to see if you could get it open somehow. "Ok so how do we get out?"
"We don't."
You flipped around, surprised to hear him give up without even trying. "You're kidding right? There's gotta be some way out of here. We're superheros, a few walls can't hold us,” you exclaimed. “Can't you use those ninja skills you're so proud of and like... kick it down, or something?" You watched him walk to the back of the small cell and sit down on the floor.
"No," he replied simply. "This room was built to hold the most dangerous people in Gotham and I don't know if you've noticed but we don't have any of our gear." He glared at you and you rolled your eyes.
"So we're just supposed to wait here until they get back? We can't just sit here all night," You tried to convince him to do... anything really.
"Well if you're so keen on getting out then let's hear your genius plan," He leaned forward with all the smugness of billionaires son, daring you to say something.  "That's what I thought. Now will you please be quiet, I can't even hear myself losing my will to live."
"Fine whatever we'll just stay here in complete silence," You muttered sarcastically under your breath. Damian remained quiet as you started pacing back and forth but you could tell he was watching you.
After pacing for about 30 minutes you realized how tired you were from training so hard the past couple of days and sat down in the corner. You spent so much time over the last week worrying about Damian that you hadn't let yourself relax long enough to get any real rest. The little sleep you did manage to get mostly turned to nightmares.
At first you didn't even realize you were asleep. It all looked real enough except for the fact that you'd somehow been transported to a rooftop. You scanned your surroundings but everything was just slightly out of focus so you couldn't tell exactly where you were. When you turned around you saw him. Damian was there, and behind him was a shadowy sort of silhouette.
The shadow raised a knife and you realized what was happening. You tried to warn him, you tried to scream or yell or move but it was no use. The knife plunged into Damians back and you were helpless to stop it. You felt the pain he felt, you felt the blade slice through you. Finally you could move again but it was too late. The shadow disappeared but you didn't care about it, all you wanted to do was get to Damian. You ran forward but it was like running through water, your body moved in slow motion and you watched the blood start to pool underneath him.
Suddenly you were falling. Damian was gone, the roof was gone, everything was gone, it was just you and a black abyss trying to swallow you up. You screamed again but no noise came out, it was like all the air was being sucked from your lungs. It was silent and dark and empty nothingness until you saw a faint light. Then you heard something, your name being repeated, someone calling you and then you were pulled out of the void.
You shot up and gasped for air and frantically looked around but your eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet. You heard a familiar soothing voice pulled you farther out of your trance.
"Hey hey hey, it's ok i'm here." The voice was calm and concerned at the same time. "It's just me ok, you're safe," Rough hands gently turned your head and the first thing you saw clearly was a pair of worried green eyes. You're breathing slowed and you're heart nearly skipped a beat.
Wrapping your arms around his chest you pulled him closer. He hesitated for a moment before folding you into his embrace. It was soft and delicate and it seemed like he was scared of holding you too tightly. Neither of you said anything else, you just sat there on the floor of a meta containment cell in each other's arms.
Time stood still and you finally admitted the truth to yourself. The real reason you hated Damian was because you loved him.
A/n: might fuck around and make a part 3 with the classic “because i love you!” confession scene
201 notes · View notes
brekkerism · 4 years ago
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Strange Addiction(Spencer Reid One-Shot)
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A/n: So, this is my fic for the lovely @andiebeaword in the swap fics event that my lovely @imagining-in-the-margins hosted, and it was a blast writing it. Pom also was my beta, as always, and also the sweet @definitelynotkatesblog. This was super fun to write, and I hope y’all like it!!
Couple: Spencer Reid/Reader
Word count: 2.8k
Rating: 18+
Content warning: hinted age gap, smut, cunnilingus, professor!Spencer, angst, misunderstandings and fluff. I think that’s all.
******
I don’t know much about addiction, but if I had to guess, I thought it would feel something like this.
When his hair falls in his face, and his hands are so warm they manage to stop me from shaking.
When his lips taste like coffee and the way he insists on sleeping over, even if we both know he’ll never hold me until the morning.
Craving something that is slowly killing you, refusing to give it up.
It’s an addiction. It has to be.
Or maybe I’ve gone mad. ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ ’ I could hear it in his voice, telling me that “actually the quote was never linked to Einstein formally, but-“
I had to stop it. I had to stop myself, and put an end to it. It’s been weeks since we saw each other, it’s the perfect time to end-
Ding.
“I miss you. Can we see each other today?”
A few words on a text.
That’s all it took.
Well. It’s supposed to be bad to stop cold turkey right?
******
He spilled coffee on me the first time we met. It was on one of the campus coffee stands and I was already having a shitty day. I would have been furious if I had the strength for it.
“FUCK!” Burning. Hot coffee burning it’s way down my chest.
“Are you okay?” The stranger that had spilled his unnecessarily hot cup of coffee in me said.
“Dude?! It’s fucking hot!” I tried to pull my dress away from my body, to try and stop the burning in some way.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just saw this bird and it reminded me of someone and I got distracted and-“
“Please get me some napkins.” I cut him off promptly.
He did, and tried to help me clean up before realizing it was all over my breasts, and it really wouldn’t help his situation to touch me there.
“Again I’m so sorry. Uhm, whats your name? I can pay for your dress or if you’re hurt I can take you to the infirmary.”
“My name is girl you burned the tits of.” I snapped. “And I’m fine, don’t worry that much.” I finally looked up at him, with his suit, his fluffy hair and the scruff. Cute. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” A professor then? Hot, older, professor. Wait, didn’t I hear something about this?
“Well doctor, you can just buy me a coffee and some pastries and, we’ll be even. Then you can go on your merry way and forget about the totally embarrassing afternoon that you spilled coffee all over a girl.” And maybe you can be so sorry that you slide me your number or something. A girl can hope.
I could have forgotten the whole thing. But he was himself: totally apologetic and cute, so tall and handsome, and his eyes-
I accepted his apology, and the coffee he bought me to make up for it, and we parted ways.
And if I went to my dorm and immediately tried to find out who he really was, it wasn’t completely weird right?
And yeah, maybe I sneaked into one of his classes, just to see what all the gossip and fuss was about (like I didn’t already know) but it didn’t start because of that.
******
It started way later at a bar. It’s not like I sought him out, maybe I had been going out a lil more than I used to in hopes that maybe, just maybe...
And then it happened. He was there, sitting at the corner of the bar sipping from his glass. Freshly out of class and all alone. The fucking universe. A chance to talk to him.
He was up from his seat, going for a refill at the bar when I rose from my seat before I even had time to come up with a plan or say goodbye to my friends, making a beeline to his direction.
Maybe it was the universe conspiring against us, or for us, because before I could tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, someone bumped into me sending me with force so that I would collide directly into him.
I luckily grabbed onto his suit jacket, stabilizing myself before I could do something stupid like fall to the floor and make a spectacle of myself.
He turned towards me, finally looking at who shoved him forward, and the recognition on his face was like relief washing over me.
“So, are you just gonna stare at me or will you buy me another apology-drink?” I tried my best to be charming and pretty, to keep his attention on me.
“Well this time I didn’t spill on you, so I don’t think I owe you one.” His smile. Fuck. He had a great smile.
“Okay. I’ll buy you one then.” I called over the bartender, getting him his scotch refill and something for me. Before he had the chance to do anything, I was taking the drinks back to his table. We wordlessly sat down and drank from our glasses.
“Should I ask why you went to one of my classes?”
Oh. oh. He saw that.
“Should I ask why you didn’t kick me out?”
“I asked first.”
“And I still don’t want to answer.” I pretended to inspect my shoes, racking my brain for ways to keep him here, talking to me. “Why are you drinking tonight?”
“You know, you ask a lot of questions for someone who won’t answer any of mine.”
“It’s part of my charm. So, what’s the reason?”
“What?” He did this cute thing with his nose, kinda scrunching it up, and he never stopped licking his damn lips, and maybe it was the alcohol in my system but I wanted to see how he tasted.
“There’s not that many reasons to be drinking alone at a sad college bar. You either have a problem with booze, can’t get a date, are drowning your sorrows, or trying to forget something.”
“Why don’t you try to guess?”
“Hm.” I leaned back on my seat to study him, using it as an excuse to look him head to toe. ”You’re both too put together and uncomfortable enough in this setting to have a problem. You’re too hot and have like, a billion college girls trying to get in your pants, so it’s not the date thing. You don’t look melancholic enough to be drowning your sorrows, especially with that choice of drink. So, who are you trying to forget, then?”
“Can’t a man just want to get a drink?” He chuckled.
“But that option would be no fun.” I could feel myself pouting and my cheeks getting warmer. Maybe it was the alcohol catching up to me.
“Well, it’s suiting, since I’m no fun.”
“That’s a lie. I’m talking to you and I’m having a blast” it was a joke on his part, but the way he said it sounded upset. Truthful. I wanted to make it go away.
“Kinda sad if this is your definition of a blast.” It sounded like a joke, but the way he said it... he sounded upset. I wanted to make it go away.
“Maybe it’s just because you’re hot. Who knows.”
“That's the second time you called me that.” He said it suspiciously, like he doubted that I really thought that.
“Can’t help it if it’s true.” I’m ridiculously attracted to you, I thought. Can you please realize that soon?
“What about you. What are you doing here?”
“Same reason as you.” Lies. Little liar. I’m here because I have been waiting and hoping to see you again, somewhere, anywhere.
“To drink cheap scotch?”
“To forget.” I’m so fucked up. I’m lying to the guy for what? So he can relate? That’s so stupid.
“Who is he?”
“Who is she?”
“She’s... A friend.” Oh. So there was a she. Shit. But that meant... was he looking for a rebound? A shoulder to cry on?
“Some guy I met at college.” You.
“Wow, an answer from you.”
“Wild, right? Next you’ll ask me my name and I’ll actually give it to you.”
“Your name isn’t actually ‘girl you burned the tits of’? Shocking.”
“No, I could only hope to be named something as elegant as that.” He laughed at that. If I could bottle up the sound, I would. Hell, I wanted it as my new ringtone. “C’mon, that’s what you laugh at?”
The night kept moving, and I learned little things, like that he worked for the FBI, his socks were mismatched, he didn’t blush at my dirty jokes after a while, and he was exceptionally bad at taking shots, but exceptionally good at magic tricks. It was nice. It was more than nice. It caused my face to flush and made my knees go weak.
“You should tell me your name now.” The seriousness in his voice made something inside me tremble, and warmth rose up deep in my guts.
“W-why?”
“Because I won’t fuck you if I don’t know your name.” Finally. Fucking finally.
He was giving me a out. If I wanted, I could just say ‘no, thanks.’ and walk away.
Jokes on him if he thought I would give up that easy.
“(Y/n). My name is (y/n).” He took a shuddering breath in, lowered his hands down to my upper thigh and squeezed.
“Go to the second to last stall in the bathroom and wait.” There was no room in his voice for questioning. I did it anyways.
“Here?”
“Here.” He confirmed with a firm nod, his eyes never leaving mine.
We were both too desperate for it.
And it happened. In the second to last stall of a dirty bathroom, with him fucking me against the door and whispering dirty things in my ear. It was perfect, it was fucking heaven. It made me crave.
It happened again in my dorm room. Again and again. And then in his apartment. In his empty office. In my car. In his car. Not as frequently as I like, with his job at the FBI and teaching, but more than it should be for what we had. We weren’t in a relationship. We were just fuck buddies. And yeah, maybe he also gave me his time with the sex, with the sweet words, the occasional lunches and the not-dates to his favorite bookstore, but it didn’t mean anything. Six months in, and he didn’t seem any more over the mysterious girl he had loved for decades.
He was just using me to get over the woman he truly loved. The young college girl who he thought was also in love with someone else was the easiest choice. The least messy.
But it was messy. Because there was nobody else. There was just him. He was the one I was in love with.
I was trying to get over Spencer Reid, by sleeping with Spencer Reid.
Funny, right?
******
I didn’t have to knock twice at his door.
He hugged me as soon as he opened it. I melted into him, like I always did. He smelled like coffee and home to me.
“Rough day?” I asked.
“Rough week. Rough month.” Yeah, I think I know the feeling.
“Can I help?”
“Always. You always help.” He said softly.
Stop saying things like that. Stop making me feel like this.
“Come here little girl.” He led us to his bedroom, sitting on the bed and guiding me to his lap. It felt safe. Felt loving. “You’re always so pretty for me. So good. You don’t even know how much I.... how much I want you.”
He took my dress off with ease, kissing a wet trail from my face, to my neck, to my tits. I wanted his hands everywhere, I wanted him to touch me, to make me forget why I ever considered stopping this.
“You’re gonna be good for me right? You’ll be a perfect girl?” Always. Just for you.
“Yes.”
“That’s my girl.”
His girl. I was his. I will always be his.
He just wasn’t mine.
I swallowed back the tears and tried to push down the lump in my throat. He needed me and I wanted to please him, to be good, to show him how much I loved him with this.
He always knew how to work my body, and this moment was no exception. Always knew how to make me go crazy with a swipe of his tongue on my pussy, a finger curling inside me, a thumb circling my clit. Sometimes I thought he was the only one that knew me at all. I was probably right.
The orgasm built and built and built, and I couldn’t do anything but hold on to his hair and smother him between my thighs while I rode it out. He was perfect. It was perfect.
I wanted it forever.
Tears. Pooling on the corners of my eyes, rolling down, no matter how hard I tried to blink them away.
It was killing me.
I loved him. Three little words. I love you. I love you I love you I love you I love you-
“I love you.” It felt natural rolling off my tongue. It felt okay. The world would still spin if he knew I love him. I might not have him anymore, but it would be okay.
“W-what did you just say?” He rose from his place between my legs, the frown on his forehead and his shaking hands making me just as nervous as he was.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m sorry.”
“You’re... Why are you sorry?” That was the part he was worried about?
“Because I didn’t mean to. I know you can’t love me back. I’m sorry.” I retreated from him, bracing myself as tight as I could. Maybe I could use his shock to my advantage; dress quickly and leave. There wouldn’t be any awkwardness or tears or rejection-
He was kissing me. He was kissing me, coaxing my mouth open with his tongue, holding on to me like I would disappear if he didn’t ground me to him.
“We’re so stupid. I’m so, so stupid.” He was saying the words in between kisses, like he couldn’t take the time to pull away from me and actually talk.
What was happening?
“How can you not know? I thought you knew, I thought that was the whole reason-“ more kisses now, all over my face and my mouth.
“Spencer, what are you talking about?”
“Listen to me. I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now.” He was holding my face in his hands.
I must have gotten into a car accident on the way to his apartment. I was dead, or dreaming, or hallucinating.
He loved me?
He loved me.
“I thought the reason you were pulling away from me is because you knew, because I’m a shitty liar when it comes to you, and I don’t know how to hide how desperately in love with you I am.” He continued to ramble and I almost couldn’t keep up. I felt like I was inside a dream. “I was so sure you still loved the guy from your school, and I didn’t want to risk losing you, losing us, so I didn’t tell you. I’m so dumb.”
“But... but what about her? The woman you love? Your friend?”
“She’s just that: a friend. I think because we never had a shot at having a romantic relationship, I idealized it for so long. I thought that it was love. But I met you. I got to know you. I got to love you. This is love. Whatever I felt for her doesn’t come close.“
Blissful. I felt blissful. I felt like the universe gave me everything I wanted all at once.
“I love you. I’ve loved you since I met you.” I get to say it. I get to say it, I get to love him, and have him.
I needed him. Now. I needed to make love to him, needed to be his.
We kissed for too long, slow and sweet and perfect. When he drove himself inside my body, he looked into my eyes and told me how good I was for him, how much he loved me. When I came, it was with his name on my lips. It was everything. It was impossible for someone to be so right for me. He was everything.
We laid next to each other, too needy to not be touching every moment possible. My legs tangled between his, my hand in his.
Everything was out in the open, and we were together.
Except…
“Spence…”
“Yeah?”
“Remember the guy at college that I liked? The one I was trying to get over?”
“Yes” his tone was tentative, like he halfway expected me to take back all that was said between us.
“He... kinda doesn’t exist. Well, he also kinda does, but I think it might be you.” He was silent, and for a moment I thought he fell asleep and didn’t hear me.
“…Honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised” there wasn’t any anger in his tone whatsoever, and the last of my worries was gone.
“Still love me?”
“Always, pretty girl.”
And I guess that was more than okay.
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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago
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acquainted | four
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> series masterlist <
summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)
words: 4.2k
warnings: implied sexual content, your friends are still extra, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, making out, slight dry humping, you actually act on your hoe-ish thoughts because seokjinnie keeps testing you??
notes: 2nd member involved in this love triangle will be revealed next chapter and it’s actually gonna start getting messy. are you with me? 😈
tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish​ @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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A couple of days have passed and you were only getting more giddy as time passes. It sounds stupid as hell, and sometimes you can't help but curse yourself for having a crush on someone so unattainable. The thrill, though, is what excites you, and knowing that there's a possibility Jin may reciprocate the same feelings. Since he had placed his number in your phone, he had sent you random, occasional 'have a good day!' texts and smiley faces. Maybe it didn't help that he was only fueling the fire by sending you texts like this. You couldn't help but ponder on the thought that you had crossed his mind from time to time, and that my friends, was fucking attractive.
"Her head game was on point." Taehyung smirked and leaned back in his chair, making Ryujin roll her eyes at him.
"You're sick, no one asked about your night."
"Why do you sound so mad, sweetie?" He leaned closer to her.
"I'm not mad." She scooted her chair away from him. "Can you believe this right now?" She shot you a look, but you were too busy texting on your phone, responding to the messages you couldn't get to earlier.
[jin] 3:05pm: I hope your day has been treating you well. See you soon?
[y/n] 5:37pm: Been a little busy, but hasn't been bad. :) Excited for class!
You laughed at yourself because who even says 'Excited for class' like that? You were really playing yourself right now.
"Earth to Mr. Kim's mistress?" You shot Taehyung a look and immediately shoved his face away.
"Jeez, you've been glued to your phone so much lately. Did you find new dick, or something?" Ryujin asked as she rested her chin on the palm of her hand.
"No, god. I've just been trying to keep myself occupied." She shrugs and doesn't press any further. Thank god, because you hadn't told any of your friends how Jin comforted you that evening and how he had given you his personal number just to check in every now and then. You didn't plan on telling them anytime soon, only because they'd be dramatic about it and you didn't have the energy to calm the chaos that would ensue.
"Speaking of - have you guys started the assignment due next week for Mr. Kim's class?" Jimin kept his eyes on the work in front of him.
"No. I'll probably do that the day of." Taehyung says as he texts on his phone.
"I was going to ask him for help later."
"Were you now?" Jimin rose his eyebrow, shooting you a look.
"Yes, and it's only because I can't choose which topic to write about."
"Why don't you ask us?"
"Because this always ends up being an open-ended debate and the conversation ultimately ends with no decision made." Jimin nodded in agreement.
"Touché."
"Bat your eyelashes while you're at it, kay?" Ryujin giggles.
"You guys are free to join me."
"Mmm no thanks, I don't think I need any help right now." Jimin responds.
"Same. Besides, I'd rather not cockblock."
"Honestly so sick of you guys." You all end up packing your things to head to Jin's classroom, all four of you entering one by one and taking your seats near the front. Class goes by rather quickly, you and Jin stealing glances from time to time. Ryujin, Jimin and Taehyung offer to wait up for you near the library and you simply nod, letting them know you'll only take a quick minute to talk about the assignment. Once they've disappeared from the hallway corridor, you turn on your heels to make your way over to Jin at the front desk, where he's arranging his things and getting them together.
"Y/N, hey." He smiles at you, tilting his head to look at you from his stance. "What's up?"
"I uh, just wanted to ask for your opinion about the assignment. If.. you aren't busy?" He chuckled and shook his head.
"No, not at all. What's going on?"
"Well, I've just been having trouble deciding on a topic." You placed your things down.
"Alright, try me." He nods towards the whiteboard, signaling for you to scribble your ideas onto the board so he could help you map out your thoughts. You quietly walk over, grabbing the only black whiteboard marker available and start talking through your thoughts. He sits on the desk, arms crossed, watching you scribble on the board. He chimes in every now and then, either agreeing or disagreeing, and providing his honest opinion as to what might work best for the assignment.
"Mm, okay. I think that makes better sense." You step back and take a look at the things you've crossed out and circled, leaving you to finalize the topic for your assignment.
"Yeah, I think so." He stands and nods in agreement. You turn to look at him, only to realize how close in proximity your body was to his. His hands are tucked into his pockets while he looks down at you. Both of you don't move, regardless of how close you two are at the moment. You feel stuck, and the only option that crosses your mind is something you shouldn't even be thinking about. Yet, you still act on it. You find yourself on your tippy-toes laying a kiss on his plump lips, but you quickly pull away and gasp, realizing what you had done.
"I-I'm so sorry, I-" You stutter as you step back to try and quickly grab your things. "I gotta go." You dash out of the room, your heart beating through your chest. As soon as you were far as possible from his room, you slowed your pace to gather your breathing. You facepalmed so hard because what the fuck! You felt dumb as hell for acting the way you did, let alone for thinking his texts and all the attention even meant anything.
Way to fucking go, Y/N. You could feel how embarrassing next class will be already.
As soon as you spot your friends, you try to put on a smile and brush the thoughts out of your head when you see them waving you over. Jimin instantly throws his arm around your shoulder, helping you feel at ease as you momentarily forget about the events that just transpired.
"Ready? We're gonna go grab some pizza before heading home." You smiled at him.
"Yeah, I'm down."
Jin grabbed his things, feeling a little conflicted about what just happened. He knew this was something that shouldn't have happened, nor should it ever happen again. Yet, he wanted more of this feeling you gave him. He longed for it. He couldn't explain the feeling he got when he felt your lips against his, he just knew he was interested in more. It was bad as fuck, but it was the same thrill you felt that peeked his interest.
Jin pulled into the lot of him and Grace's house, seeing he was the first one home yet again. It wasn't a surprise to him anymore, and quite frankly, he was used to being home first all the time. It would have been a surprise if Grace was here before he was. Not gonna lie, after what happened, it makes him feel a little empty inside. He's starting to feel like he wanted more of you and to see you outside of campus grounds. He wanted your company and enjoyed your presence, inside of the classroom and even through simple things like text. It just made him happy, and like he was appreciated. Wanted.
Yeah, that quick. He was starting to crave you.
He kicked off his shoes by the door and changed into comfier clothes. He took some time to work out at their home gym before eating whatever leftovers were left in the fridge. He happily warms up his food and quickly gobbles it up, leaving the dishes in the sink for him to get to later. He hops into a hot, relaxing shower, letting the heat hit his back and relax him from all the stress he had been experiencing lately. It was so relaxing that he didn't even hear Grace shut their front door. He only found out he wasn't alone when he heard dishes being washed and slammed onto the dish rack and cabinet doors being slammed shut. He dried himself off a bit, before wrapping the towel around his waist and heading into the kitchen to see what the commotion was.
"Hey, you're home." He says with a smile on his face, but she continued to place dishes on the rack without looking at him.
"Yeah, and you couldn't even think to wash your dishes and clean up the kitchen?" His smile immediately turned into a frown when he realized Grace was far from being in a good mood. Over what? Dishes that he was eventually going to wash anyways?
"I was going to get to them."
"Jeez, Jin. I've had such a long day, the least you could do is help out and clean up after yourself." She glared at him.
"Woah, hey. I do my part around here. Just because I didn't do my dishes right away doesn't mean I don't do anything at all under this house."
"Hasn't seemed like it." She walked away, brushing him off completely. If it's one thing Jin could point out about his fiancé, it was the fact that she liked to project when she was upset. It was the one thing that drove him crazy, and the one thing he felt like couldn't be fixed. It was just in her nature, no matter how many times they've fought and argued about it. He tries to be patient and understanding. He tries to relate. Yes, I'm sorry you had a bad day. But just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you bring the negative energy into this house.
"That's not fair, Grace."
"Grow up, Jin." She snapped as she headed upstairs. "I'm going up to pack and head to bed." He continued to watch her, appalled at the attitude she was throwing tonight. He really couldn't understand why this was happening over some dishes. He didn't wanna be here right now, and he wasn't going to deal with this shit. To be honest, he was feeling a little relieved knowing he'd get some space from her when she flies to New York for a week. She had some work to do for the opening of her restaurant down there, plus some related projects for her book.
He heads upstairs to throw on some jeans, a hoodie and a hat before passing Grace in their walk-in closet.
"Off for a drive again, huh?" She says as she keeps her eyes on the luggage laid out in front of her. It's sad that Grace knows what Jin does whenever he doesn't wanna deal with her attitude. But, no matter how many times he's tried to communicate and talk it out, it never mattered to her.
"Yeah, because it doesn't seem like you can communicate properly tonight."
"And how is a drive supposed to help?" She turns to look at him, but he doesn't say anything. She scoffs before returning her attention back to the clothes she was packing into her luggage. "Perfect. Run away from our issues, Jin. It's what you do best." He shook his head and sighed.
"I'm not doing this with you tonight, Grace. Not over some dishes that were eventually going to get washed and fixed." He walked out, but turned back on his heel to finish off his thoughts. "You know, I really wanted to have a nice night with you. Pop some wine and put on a movie, just to enjoy being in each other's presence since it feels like we haven't done that in a really long time. But, so be it." He threw his hands up in defeat and continued to walk out. He really did want to try, though. Part of him felt like he needed to because he was probably just longing for that attention from his fiancé, which is why he had been feeling the way he had been about you. Maybe it would have helped him brush it off like it was a silly, little crush. However, tonight just amplified those feelings he had for you and he wanted nothing more but to just see you and hear your voice.
He lowers the brim of his cap as he walks to his car, instantly starting it up and driving off. At first, he was conflicted. He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision or not, or if his judgment was cloudy. But something in him tweaked and made him say, fuck it. He was tired, and for once, he just wanted to feel wanted.
You sat on your living room floor, putting together a vision board for yourself. A ton of magazine cut outs and printouts laid alongside of you, waiting to be organized onto the small white board. You had been rearranging the layout for quite some time, feeling a little frustrated at the perfectionist in you. This definitely could have been quicker if you hadn't picked at the fine details too much. It was nearing 10:30pm; after you and your friends had ate pizza together, you all went your separate ways, tired from this week's events already. You especially didn't want to linger around, the thought of you kissing Jin in the classroom still haunting you. You felt your phone vibrating off to the side, signaling a call coming in.
Speak of the devil.
You hesitate, afraid that this had to do with what happened earlier and to be frank, you weren't sure if you were ready to deal with the repercussions just yet. The call ends, but a text notification pops up at the top of your screen.
[jin] 10:27pm: Are you free right now?
[y/n] 10:28pm: Sorry, yeah I am. What's up?
[jin] 10:29pm: Can we meet up?
You stare at your phone, unsure if you should take the opportunity to see him. It could mean a lot of things, or it could mean nothing. It could be about the kiss, or it couldn't be. But, you can't help but feel a little guilty that he had been there for you when you needed someone and here you were, contemplating if you should blow him off.
[y/n] 10:32pm: Sure. Is everything okay?
[jin] 10:32pm: I think, kind of just need some good company.
[y/n] 10:33pm: Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll come. Just let me know where.
You watch as he drops his location into the message, and it's not too far from where you live. You actually are quite familiar with the area to know that he's sending you up to a view that overlooks the Bay Bridge. You and your friends used to go there often during undergrad, just to eat edibles and eat hella junk food. Those were the days. You all quickly outgrew it though.
The drive up is a little scary, with only a few street lights posted as you drive up the hill. You catch a glimpse of Jin's car, being that he's already leaning against it, facing the view. You pull up into the empty spot next it, taking a deep breath and recollecting your thoughts before stepping out. Whatever it is, just be honest. That kiss was because you wanted to kiss him, but perhaps you misread the vibe about everything.
Not perhaps. You for sure misread the vibe about everything. He's fucking engaged. There was no way.
"I brought you brownie." Is the first thing you say as you hand him a ziploc with a huge brownie square. "There's no weed in it or anything, I promise it's clean." He chuckles as he takes it from you. "I just figured you could use a picker upper since you seemed like you might've need it."
"Thank you." His trunk had been open, so he takes a seat and invites you to sit next to him. You leave a bit of space just to be sure, since you already crossed your boundaries earlier and you weren't even sure how that was gonna play in to tonight.
"So, what's on your mind?" You dread asking him the question but you knew there was a reason he brought you out here.
"I, uh. Just had a pretty tough day and wanted to surround myself around good company." He turned to look at you.
"Oh, so I made the good company list?" You chuckle.
"Yeah, you did." He looks back out at the view. You examine him, his body language still a little tense from whatever he had just experienced.
"Was it Grace?" You ask softly and he nods in return.
"We've just been having issues. It's no biggie."
"No biggie, huh? Then why are we out here looking at the bay bridge?" He chuckles again. You think it's cute the way his dimples under his eyes pop out when he smiles and laughs.
"Touché. I mean, what if I just wanted to hang out with someone who could cheer me up?"
"Wow, then that's a lot of pressure on me." You laugh. "I can already tell something's wrong. You were there for me, so I just want you to know that I'm all ears." He sighed.
"It's kind of dumb? Maybe not? Me and Grace just haven't been the same for awhile now."
"How so?"
"We're just distant. We haven't done things together like we used to because we're both busy and so wrapped up with work."
"Jin." You smile shyly because this couldn't be a serious excuse. You always need to try and make things work! "You know being busy shouldn't be an excuse, right?"
"I know, I know." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, it's difficult to explain. I question if we're still in love with each other or if we're just sticking to this because we're comfortable."
"Deep down, I know you still love and care for her."
"I do. It's been hard to show that these past months. I guess.. what I'm trying to say is that it's been easy to focus more on the negatives than the positives. There have been more negatives than positives."
"Why don't you sit her down and talk about this?"
"I can't. I try, but I really can't. She's always coming home in a nasty mood all the time."
"Well, she might have a lot to balance on her plate. Not everyone approaches things the same way and if you know Grace easily shuts people out when she's overwhelmed or stressed, then I think you just need to continue supporting her by simply being there for her."
"I know." He looks down at his hands.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just thinking. I hear you loud and clear though." He smiles at you toothlessly.
"Try talking to her. Work it out. I know she's important to you."
"She is but," He shakes his head once more. "I can't shake off this feeling."
"What feeling?"
"It's going to sound stupid."
"Nothing is ever stupid." He simply looked at you before responding.
"Earlier, in the classroom—" Fuck, you thought. You thought you had just gotten lucky tonight and that you both had put it past you so that you could move on without ever mentioning it. But half of you knew you'd still have to confront your mistake either way. Nothing was ever that easy.
"Jin, I'm so sorry, I didn't think about—"
"I didn't want you to stop." He spits out, causing you to stop mid-sentence. Your eyes widened after you had just registered what he had said. Was he fucking playing with you right now? This shit really couldn't be real.
"W-what?"
"I can't shake off this feeling because of you and as bad as it sounds, I really don't want that to go away."
"Jin." You say softly. "You should really work this out with Grace. This feeling is just temporary and you know it is because she's your fiancé. What happened earlier was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened." It kind of sucks, but it's true. You don't really know why you did what you did and what you wanted out of it. You knew what this would entail and it would be too messy. People would just end up getting hurt left and right. It would be a domino effect.
"Was it though?"
"I'm not trying to get in between you two." You beat around the bush with your response.
"Then, what did you want out of that earlier?" He stares at you. You can't help but feel yourself melt at the way he's eyeing you and the way he's actually teasing the fuck out of you with his piercing eyes.
"I don't know." He continues to stare, but this time his face is edging closer to yours.
"You can't even tell me straight up that it was nothing." He says, almost at a whisper. Your knees are starting to buckle beneath you and although you knew you needed to stop this, you couldn't see yourself doing it right at this moment.
"We shouldn't be doing this." You whisper, his lips inches away from yours at this point.
"Then why aren't you stopping me, Y/N?" No response. Before you knew it, your eyes were shut as your lips pressed against his. The feeling of his lips sent chills down your spine, his hand now tugging you closer to his body. You waste no time straddling his lap, deepening the kiss as your hands rest on his face and your hips grind against his. God, he was so fucking attractive and everything about him drove your ass crazy. You wanted him.
But you couldn't have him.
"Stop, stop." You edged your head back, reality settling in once his hands start to dip inside your sweats. "We really shouldn't be doing this." You climb off of him and gather your things.
"Y/N, wait."
"Jin." You turn to look at him. "Listen to me. We would never work."
"I wouldn't say never—"
"Look, this is already difficult as is and I'm trying really hard not to make this even more complicated for anyone. At the end of the day, you're still with Grace. You're still engaged to Grace." You emphasized. "I can't get in between you two, and I don't want to hurt her." How in the fuck did things escalate so quickly? How did we get here?
"I know that, and I know you don't. But you can't tell me that you didn't feel anything just now."
"I'm not saying that I didn't. I did, I-I do." You stuttered on your own words. "But I shouldn't be acting on it and neither should you. You should really focus on working things out in your relationship. I know deep down you love her and want to make this work."
"That's the thing, Y/N. I don't know how else I can make this work with her. I've ran out of options."
"Jin, you planned to marry her! You do understand that you can't just give up on someone like that, especially your future wife."
"As much as I appreciate this and understand where you're coming from, you don't know our relationship."
"I just don't want you to give up on her. I want you to try for her, not just because I told you so." He can see how serious things have turned, and  he knew you were right. This would be complicated. But damn, was he undeniably attracted to you and he loved the feeling he got from all of this.
"I-" He sighs. "You make me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time."
"You have your life planned out already, and so does Grace. You obviously saw a life and a future with her, and that's what you should continue building. I don't even know how to get from point A to point B in life and I still have shit to learn. Like-like changing car lights or how to do a fucking oil change by myself! I'm a mess. I'm not the one you should be thinking about."
"I don't care about that." He spits out as he gently grabs your wrist and turns you to face him.
"Don't make this harder than it already is." With all this shit going on, you still found yourself wanting him the same way you did earlier. Looking at him made you want to do unspeakable things and it didn't help that he gave you the green light to do so.
The temptations.
"I'm not trying to."
"We should really keep our distance from each other, okay? You need to work things out and I'm going to give you the space to do so."
"Fuck, Y/N. I really don't want that."
"I'm sorry." You whisper as you break free from his grip and get back into your car. You hear him groan, causing you to cry to yourself as you drive off and get back home. One mistake turned everything upside down, and now everything was suddenly 10x more complicated than it ever was in the beginning. You couldn't help but curse yourself and blame yourself for letting this happen the way it did.
But shit is done. The mistake happened. There was no taking it back.
You just needed to give him space to get over it, and that would be the end of it. Easy.
Or so you assume.
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holidaywishes · 4 years ago
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I don't get you...
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  Requested: 👍
  Summary/Request: Can I request just some like filthy smut with Fred? Maybe sugar daddy Freddie? But like there’s actual feelings involved and maybe the reader flirts with Auston and it makes him jealous then he tells them he loves them then fucks the living daylights out of them...or something along those lines
  Warning: smut as per request, some angst, a little bit of fluff
  Author’s Note: So, anon, I'm not sure this is exactly what you wanted. I went through a lot as I was writing this, so that's part of the reason why it took forever to get this out. But yeah, it started out as something short and filthy and then moved to something exceptionally long and fluffy and I nearly forgot that I was supposed to be writing smut. Also, I'm really in a ✨summer vibes✨ kind of mood lately and I really want to go to the beach but because I can’t until the borders open, I guess I’ll write about it. Hope this can give everyone a bit of a reprieve from everything for a little bit! Stay Golden, loves! <3
  masterlist
  the other masterlist
xx
Freddie’s P.O.V
  You never expected her to agree to the arrangement, you didn’t think she was the type, but you weren’t looking for a relationship at the time. She told you she’d never had a sugar daddy before but she was happy to try it out
  “I’ve met people who’ve done it and they seem to be really happy,” she said
  “Well, yeah, I would think they would be,” you joked, “a little bit of money for a little bit of pleasure...”
  “That makes it sound like prostitution” she giggled and you nodded
  “It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that...”
  “I mean, it’s not far off, I suppose”
  “But you’re okay with it?”
  “I’m okay with it, but I’m curious,” she asked, “if you’re willing to spend money on me and fly me places and do literally everything a partner does... why not actually be partners?”
  “I just think we’re better off doing this”
  “I know,” she added, “but why?”
  “My life... is a lot for a relationship. I don’t want to put anyone in a position where the fans or the media can tear them down”
  “But you like me enough to do all the same stuff?”
  “Yeah, just... as a secret” you admitted shyly
  “Alright” she finally said, leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek before your hands latched onto her sides to pull her closer and station her on your lap. “I have to go...” she whined and you groaned in response
“But you don’t” you laughed
“I have to do a presentation tomorrow that I have to work on”
“Skip it,” you mumbled, “you know that you don’t have to work”
“I still like to work”
“Just stay a little bit longer” you urged, kissing her neck and squeezing her hips tighter
“Freddie...” she moaned before you picked her up and carried her to your bedroom, dropping her onto the big mattress. She giggled as she bit her lip, waiting for you to lay your body against hers, “come here.”
xx
  The arrangement was simple. He wanted a warm body just not a relationship. You were in debt up to your eyeballs but you still had very, very expensive tastes and Freddie was all too eager to get you whatever you wanted. There was never any real talk about never developing feelings or what would happen if either of you eventually did but his lips fit so perfectly with yours and your bodies knew instinctively what to do for each other and the way his fingertips grazed the sensitive skin on the sides of your neck made your vision blurry and you weren’t sure how long you could keep this... simple. You were able to work enough that you were chipping away at your debt while Freddie indulged in your materialistic cravings. His gifts were relatively tame so far. Some jewellery, a few designer handbags, some very expensive lingerie, a pair of vintage Chanel stilettos that you almost never wore and when you asked why he didn’t get you Louboutin’s, he smirked and said ‘that’s what every other guy gets his girl. You deserve better than that.’ He really did know just how to say the right thing to make you feel important to him without fully taking that next step but when he started to offer bigger gifts, things started to feel different
  “You can’t buy me a car!”
  “Why not?”
  “I barely drive!”
  “Okay, what about a house?”
  “I’m sorry what?”
  “A house. I mean, not like a mansion but an apartment or like a cottage. By the lake...”
  “That’s too much” you scoffed, fluttering around your kitchen putting away dishes and wiping off the counter before your roommate could complain that the house was a mess
 “You shouldn’t have roommates. Not if you’re with me” he replied and you furrowed your brow before leaning on the cold granite of the counter
  “But I’m not with you...” you corrected, “not like that. How am I supposed to explain to people how I suddenly have enough money to have a cottage by the lake when I’m still paying off student loans and credit card debts?”
  “Tell them it was a super great deal!”
  “Because they’ll definitely believe that” you sighed, walking over to him and pecking his cheek before he followed you to the couch
  “Then say it was a gift”
  “From who? Who would gift something like that to someone? Am I supposed to tell people that you’re my sugar daddy now?” you teased
  “You could say you won the lottery,” he suggested but you ignored it, instead turning toward the TV and switching it on, “I mean that happens right?”
  “Freddie... it’s sweet but it’s way too much” you repeated softly and he dropped it
  “Come hang out with me this summer. I have a place right on the water, it’s beautiful there”
  “Where?” you asked curiously
  “Muskoka”
  “You wanna take me to Muskoka?”
  “It’s romantic there,” he added, creeping over to kiss your shoulder before his body hovered over yours and his lips slowly connected with yours, “and it’s private, too. We don’t have to worry about people interrupting us”
  “People don’t interrupt us he--”
  “(Y/N)!” your roommate yelled, interrupting your moment with Freddie and completely destroying your words even before she came down the stairs, Freddie putting as much space in between the two of you as to not give anything away. “Hey, where is.. oh sorry, I didn’t realize we had company”
  “Stacey, this is Freddie,” you smiled awkwardly, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed, “Freddie, this is my roommate, Stacey.”
  “Nice to meet you” Freddie greeted politely
  “Yeah, you too” Stacey replied, almost suspiciously and you scoffed
  “So what were you looking for?”
  “Huh?” she was clearly lost in thought now, “oh right! That big bag of sunscreen, where did it go? I thought it was in the closet in the bathroom but I didn’t see it. Did you move it?”
  “I did,” you admitted, smiling as you stood up, walking to the bathroom upstairs to show her, “it was just taking up so much space so I took them out of the bag and put them under the sink separately”
  “Ahh, okay. Thanks”
  “No problem,” you said, turning to walk downstairs
  “Wait!” she exclaimed, stopping you, “who is that?”
  “Freddie?”
  “Yeah, I mean... are you two dating? Why have I never met him before?” she rambled before her eyes went wide and panic rushed through your chest, “is this a first date?” you exhaled in relief, laughing in response
  “No, it’s not a date. First or otherwise. He’s just a friend, I met him at a work party last year”
  “Oh, right...” you could tell she didn’t believe you but you weren’t going to try to argue, fearing if you did that you might let the truth slip. She finally let you head back downstairs but before you reached the bottom, your phone chimed
  “Had to go” Freddie’s text read and you sighed before dropping your head
  “You didn’t have to...” you replied
  “I did but the offer still stands. You, me, the lake, Muskoka. Come”
  “I’ll think about it.”
xx
Freddie’s P.O.V
  After weeks of constant begging, (Y/N) agreed to go to the cottage with you over the summer and it was perfect. You almost never left the bedroom and when you did, it was to take a drive into the city to get a few groceries and then you’d lock yourself back in the house, drawing the curtains to block out the light. After that, she asked to go back the next summer and you were more than happy to oblige
  “You liked it huh?” you teased as the two of you lay in bed
  “I had a lot of fun,” she smirked, lifting your hand up so she could trace her finger along your palm mindlessly, “pretending like the world didn’t exist”
  “You sure you don’t want me to just.. get you your own?”
  “No,” she scoffed, “I like yours. As yours, don’t think about giving it to me”
  “Fine” you laughed at her figuring you out before you could even get your suggestion out.
  “Fine” she mocked, rolling over to kiss your cheek and lay on your chest, tracing her fingers across your skin
  “God you’re beautiful” you exhaled as you brushed her hair away from her face
  “YO ‘ZILLA!” you heard Auston yell as he crashed through your front door
  “Shit!” you panicked
  “What is he doing here?” she asked in a hushed voice
  “I don’t know, I thought he was gonna be playing golf all afternoon”
  “FREDDIE?” Auston yelled again
  “Just get dressed, I’ll go talk to him”
  “Okay” she laughed
  “Yo, Tony, what are you doing here?”
  “Hey!” He exclaimed, “I came to hang out with you... am I bothering you?”
  “No of course not. I just thought you’d be at the course for most of the day...”
  “Yeah.. it wasn’t all that exciting today. What have you—”
  “So I think that Shelley was right!” (Y/N) yelled as she came down the stairs, interrupting Auston with some lie that you couldn’t even follow. “I think we did do an event down the street,” you smirked, watching her eye-line go past you and to Auston, “oh, hi...”
  “Hi...” he hesitated
  “I’m (Y/N)”
  “Auston. It’s nice to meet you” he greeted and you watched as the two of them stared at each other
  “Matts, (Y/N) is a friend of a friend and she wanted to see a vantage point... from upstairs”
  “Not a vantage point. See, I work at an event planning company, I’m an intern but I help with a lot of events and one of them was an MLSE fundraiser and, Shelley, my friend that’s also Freddie’s friend,” she rambled and you had to stop yourself from laughing, “she said that Fred’s apartment was nearby but I didn’t believe it...”
  “Right,” he smirked, “well, now you know right?”
  “Right,” she smiled brightly, “but hey. I should go, I have stuff but thanks, Fred, for letting me look. It was nice to meet you, Auston.”
  “Yeah.. nice to meet you, too. Maybe I’ll see you again?”
  “Now now,” you intervened, “no flirting”
  “Bye Freddie” she chuckled before walking out the door.
  “She’s cute,” Auston said to you and you could sense that he was trying to get more information, “young for you though huh?”
  “We’re not dating” you tried
  “So she really was just here to scope out the view?” he teased
  “I guess so” you tried, making your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water
  “You wouldn’t mind, then, if I asked her out?” he asked, forcing you to sigh at his incessant attempts not to drop the subject
  “No, go for it...”
  “I will” he smirked and that was the end of the conversation. You found out a few days later that he had actually asked (Y/N) out for dinner but she told him she had to think about it
  “What am I supposed to say, Freddie?” she asked, following you around your apartment, her annoyance apparent as she waited for an answer
  “You should say yes” you replied
  “Is that what you want?”
  “I mean you said it yourself, we’re not together. We’re not dating, we just sleep together every once in a while and I buy you stuff. I don’t care who you date...”
  “It’s not tha..” she stammered, shaking her head hastily, “it’s a little more complicated than just me dating someone else. This isn’t just some guy you’ve never met before who wants to take me out on a date. This is your teammate, your friend. He has a key to your apartment. You watch his dog... so it’s not as simple as what you think it is”
  “I’m fine with it. We’ll still do what we do, if you want, and Auston doesn’t have to find out” you added, sitting down at the kitchen island, fidgeting with your water bottle
  “And what if he does?”
  “He won’t”
  “You really want me to say yes?”
  “If you say no, he’s going to think something is going on with us,” you admitted, “if you say yes, he won’t. Simple”
  “That’s all this is?” she sneered, “I’m surprised you haven’t told him already. It’s not something that you’re ashamed of. Unless... are you ashamed of me?”
  “No” you replied. She sat down slowly in the seat across from you and dropped her head to her hands before exhaling
  “Fine,” you groaned, “I’ll say yes.”
xx
  It was the last thing you really wanted to do but Freddie seemed intent on you going on a date with Auston. It wasn’t awful but it didn’t feel right but the two of you stayed in touch, which created its own issues between you and Freddie, just like you knew it would. After nearly a year, you had grown a lot closer with Freddie’s teammates than you thought you would and you were starting to feel like part of the group, whether or not that was a good thing remained to be seen. It did allow you to spend time with Freddie outside of the bedroom but it led to questions about why you never carried a wallet or offered to pay for meals
  “I’m all for chivalry,” Morgan chuckled, taking a sip of his drink as the server took everyone’s plates away, “but you can clearly afford to foot the bill every here and there. I’ve seen all these fancy things before, I’ve bought a few of ‘em for Tessa, so...”
  “This stuff...” you stalled, gesturing to your purse and your clothes, “they’re all gifts”
  “Some friends who get you those gifts” Auston laughed
  “Who said they’re from friends? What about family?”
  “Or a boyfriend?” he teased, your eyes darting to Freddie quickly to gauge his reaction; nothing, completely stoic
  “No boyfriend. I’m not much for the ‘shower me with gifts’ kind of relationship” this comment earned a round of scoffs from the boys in front of you and you just rolled your eyes in return. Freddie offered you a ride home which you took gladly because you wanted to see where his head was at
  “So...” you started before Freddie huffed
  “The guys are coming out to the lake next week. You’re welcome to come but it won’t be like last year”
  “Are you mad at me?” you asked, turning your body to face him
  “No, why would I be mad?” he chided, keeping his eyes on the road
  “I don’t know,” you replied, turning back to face the road yourself, “but I’m glad you’re not mad. I love the lake so I’m happy to go, even if it won’t be like last year...”
  “Great” he sighed
  “Perfect” you replied, pursing your lips as the rest of the drive was spent in silence. He drove into the underground parking lot, turning off the ignition before looking at you
  “They really like you” he said and you furrowed your brow
  “Yeah... I’m likeable” you joked
  “It’s good,” he said, “but maybe after the lake, you should keep your distance”
  “What?” you scoffed as Freddie opened the door and made his way to open your door, leaning his hands against the side of the car and caging you in lightly
  “Or we need to end this arrangement”
  “So, it’s an ultimatum? You or them?” he nodded, sliding his arm under your legs to pick you up and carry you upstairs. It was a strange request but you could barely concentrate on your thoughts with the way his hands began roaming your body once he set you down. After the week had passed, and you managed to patch up things with Freddie, you were on your way back to the place where you had come to know as if it were your own. You wondered how different things would feel there, with ‘the boys’ being there, and if Freddie would keep his distance from you or if the tension would be too much to bear.
xx
Auston’s P.O.V
  You spent most of your time in the water, or watching (Y/N), while everyone else seemed to find other things to occupy their time. You couldn’t believe that (Y/N) hadn’t pursued more of a relationship with you, especially when you thought the date went really well; you decided to make it your mission to get her to fall in love with you or find out if there was something else going on.
  "So..." you grunted, taking a seat next to (Y/N), "how are you liking the cottage?"
  "It's beautiful out here" she answered with a smile
  "Isn't it though?" you said
  "Are you mocking me?" she laughed
 "I would never"
  "You're still mad that I didn't want to date you, aren't you?" she asked, taking you a bit by surprise and you weren't really sure how honest you should be
  "Why didn't you want to date me?" you said curiously, "I mean the date that we went on was good, wasn't it?"
  "It was fine, yeah," she replied, unimpressed as she seemed to remember the date in her mind, "I just have a bit of a complicated situation going and I didn't feel like adding more to that. But, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you"
  "Oh," you really were hoping that she would've made some joke about it all instead of... actually telling you the truth, but here you were. "Thank you..." you hesitated before chuckling, "I'm over it anyway. Let's just enjoy the summer, okay?"
  "Yeah" she grinned. As the night drew on, Freddie got the barbeque ready while setting out snacks as Mo, Mitch and Cogs grabbed a seat around the fire.
  “HEY! YOU TWO, COME HANG OUT BY THE FIRE!” Fred yelled to you and (Y/N) as the two of you stayed on the dock
  "I wanna go in the water!" she yelled
  "YEAH ME TOO!" you chuckled in return, seeing Freddie's distaste from where you stood before (Y/N) slipped by you and ran into the lake
  "HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD!" she screamed, her body already shivering from just a few inches of water crashing against the bare skin of her legs
  "What did you expect?" you scoffed, wading the water as you neared her, lowering your body so the water covered your chest
  "I don't know.." she hesitated, trying her best to maintain the composure of her voice before her shivers took over, "I just didn't expect it to be that cold..."
  "Well now you know" you smirked, catching her stare just as your body reached her space, letting your frame hover over hers as the two of you stood in the cold water; the waves splashing against your hips and trying their best to drag both of you into the current.
  "Right" she whispered, unable to tear her eyes from yours
  "Right" you returned, squatting down in front of her, your lips grazing her chest while your gaze stayed trained on her. You could feel her breathing build in her chest as your fingers traced her skin before you picked her up and she squealed
  "STOP!" she laughed as you threw her over your shoulder
  "What? I'm not doing anything!" you joked. She started to squirm in your grasp before eventually straightening her body which, luckily for you, meant that your face met her chest; you felt her hands rest gently on her shoulders as you shamelessly stared at her breasts before looking back up at her
  "Don't do it" she breathed
  "Do what?" you replied quietly
  "I know what you're thinking" she said and you smirked
  "No, no I don't think you do"
  "Don't do it Auston..." she repeated
  "You need to get used to the temperature," you replied, a grin growing on your face, "and the best way to do that is just to do it..."
  "You throw me in and I'll take you down with me" she threatened but you weren't going to listen. You stopped only for a second when you heard Freddie call to the two of you and you turned around to see him on the shore. You grinned before turning back, throwing (Y/N) in the water before feeling the tug on the back of your neck; both of you crashing into the water. When you finally came to the surface, you splashed water at her which she reciprocated before looking over at Freddie, "we should probably head in."
xx
Freddie's P.O.V
  You watched as the two of them held onto each other in the water, not able to discern their emotions from the distance you were at, but you didn’t like it. You called them in one more time before Auston tossed (Y/N) into the water and they began splashing water at each other. She looked back at you before wiping the water from her eyes and saying something to Auston, the two of them making their way back to shore.
  “Hey,” Auston said breathlessly as he walked past you
  “Finally had enough of the water huh?” you teased to which Auston just smirked, looking back at (Y/N) then back at you
  “Hi” (Y/N) said when she got close to you but your irritation from what you’d witnessed caused you to all but ignore her as you turned to walk back to the fire. The six of you sat around the fire, drinking, laughing and telling stories while you felt (Y/N)’s eyes on you, begging you to look at her without having to say the words
  “Well,” she sighed when you kept your eyes away from hers, “I’m exhausted from all that fun in the water. I’ll see you all in the morning” she laughed, Morgan and Andrew standing up to showcase their chivalry
  “Have a good sleep” Andrew smiled as (Y/N) made her way back inside. You weren’t sure how long you should wait to talk to her but you knew it couldn’t be too much longer
  “I’m gonna get some sleep as well” you said, finishing your drink as you stood up
  “Oh yeah, sure...” Cogs teased and you rolled your eyes at the tone
  “Goodnight. Please don’t destroy the deck” you said, making your way inside and turning down the hall toward (Y/N)’s room, letting yourself in
  “Hey!” she exclaimed, irritated that you didn’t knock, “what are you doing?”
  “I came to talk to you”
  “Oh really? You’ve sure done a great job of ignoring me all night. What do you have to say now?”
  “You can’t act like that,” you said under your breath, referring to how she was with Auston
  “Act like what?!” she argued, raising her voice as she stepped toward you
  “Like that!” you repeated, gesturing to the lake, trying your best to keep your voice low. “Throwing yourself all over Auston like that. Half naked and soaking wet no less”
  “Oh my god,” she scoffed, “you’re jealous”
  “Jealous?” you huffed at the suggestion
  “Yes. I have no idea why you would be but it sounds an awful lot like jealousy how you’re talking to me right now” she urged, anger covering her face
  “What if I was jealous?”
  “Why would you be jealous?”
  “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”
  “What?” she whispered, stumbling back
  “I love you,” you said calmly, vulnerably, as you studied her expression
  “You don’t love me, you’re not in love with me” she argued, shaking her head in disbelief
  “I do!”
  “YOU DON’T!” she yelled, “YOU— I— ugh” she groaned
  “What?”
  “I don’t get you,” she sighed, “one second you say you don’t want a relationship and you want to be my ‘sugar daddy’ then the next you say you’re in love with me? Which is it?”
  “Both”
  “Both?” you could feel the disgust in her words but it almost made you laugh
  “Yeah, both,” you countered, “I didn’t set out to fall in love and get into a relationship, especially when I met you,” you noticed her mouth drop, realizing you had to backtrack. “I wanted to protect you from my life but I liked being around you. And the sex was amazing”
  “So all you wanted was sex”
  “Maybe that’s where it started,” you admitted, “but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and I realized I would still be paying for everything either way but this way I’d get you all to myself”
  “Oh so now it’s about possession?” she growled and you rolled your eyes
  “I’m not trying to possess you,” you groaned, “I just wanna be with you because I love you. I have no idea why because you’re impossible to deal with and you test me every god damn second like I’m still in school but I can’t help it” you bit your bottom lip as you thought about tearing off her clothes, taking a step closer to where she stood. “I see you and you make everything... different. My heart races and I blush and I sweat and I just want to be around you. All the time. It’s infuriating. But I love you and I think I have since the beginning” she stood silently in front of you before you boxed her in with your arms, letting her eyes linger up your chest until they found yours, placing your hands on her hips to bring her even closer to you
  “Show me,” she said softly, watching your lips. You let your fingers slide up her body until they reached her neck, cupping her face as you kissed her softly. Her body moving closer to yours, forcing your feet to move backward until you felt the bed behind you, stopping only for a minute to pick her up
  “I love you” you repeated and, as if something possessed her, she bit her lip and pushed you onto the mattress
  “I want you to fuck me”
  “You’re n—”
  “Fuck. Me” she interrupted, moving across your body to straddle your lap. You honestly thought she’d say it back and it was throwing you off that she wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” she groaned when she finally realized that you weren’t exactly following through
  “I can’t do this” you sighed, pushing her off of you to walk across the room, dropping your head in your hand
  “What?” she scoffed
  “I...”
  “Should I go ask Auston? I bet he’d be more than happy to fuck me” she teased, smirking when she saw the glare on your face. You promptly made your way back to her, harshly grabbing her hips and turning her around where she stood; moving your hands up her body to clear her hair from her neck to bite at the sensitive skin between her neck and her shoulder. You felt her hips push back into yours and you grinned at her sudden neediness
  "Is this what you want?" you whispered
  "I told you. I want you to fuck me" she breathed, placing her hand on yours to guide it onto her breast and she leaned against your chest, continuing to back her ass against your growing erection. You pushed your hands into the waistband of her shorts and underwear, tearing them off her body, kissing up her legs and removing her shirt before forcing her to lean against the bed, keeping her back straight. “Freddie...” she whimpered when you stepped back, making sure not to touch her just yet
  “Shh,” you hushed before pushing your shorts off to expose your hardened cock. You ran your finger down her spine until you felt her shiver underneath your touch, holding yourself in your free hand before you began running the tip along her folds; letting her moan fill the room before you pushed yourself into her entrance. "Shhh," you repeated as her sounds started to get louder, "you don't want everyone to hear, do you?" she let out another moan before she nodded her head, looking at you over her shoulder and smirking as she watched you fuck her. She rocked back into you, sending vibrations through your body and encouraging you to dig your nails into her hips, fucking her harder. You moaned lowly as your pleasure began to increase, slapping her ass to give her the playful punishment you thought she deserved for teasing you earlier
  "Fuck" she shouted breathlessly, earning a growl from you as you tried to fuck her into silence. You weren't surprised when her panting filled the room and she brought her body up so she could lean against your chest. "Fuck" she repeated, quieter this time, as your fingers lingered to her core, pressing on her sensitive bud as your thrusts became stutters and grunts continuously left your lips. You came, messily, inside her but kept your fingers moving against her clit as you took yourself out of her, kneeling down in time to find your juices leaking down her leg; snaking your head between her legs to lick up the liquid teasingly. "You need to cum, don't you?" you baited, your finger poking inside and curving to find her g-spot while you gently swept the tip of your tongue across her clit
  "Fuck, yes," she panted, "faster baby. Make me cum" you smirked at her pleas. You quickened your ministrations until her legs shook and she was unable to stand, falling to her knees while a sigh exited her mouth. Her hand lazily rested on your chest as she attempted to compose herself and you could only chuckle
  "Oh we're not done yet"
  "What?" she gulped, eyebrows raising in surprise
  "Oh no no no no," you laughed, "you wanted me to fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Until you can't speak without feeling me inside you. Until you see my face with every breath you take. Until you feel the heat from my body against yours just by walking across the room. Until you need to beg for mercy at any given second because I'm still making you cum."
  "T--" she hesitated, pushing herself up as best she could while still not being able to use her legs, "that sounds good to me"
  "You sure you can handle it?" you asked
  "From you?" she replied, raising her hand to stroke your cheek, "any day. All-day"
  "I do love you" you admitted once more, hoping she'd say it back but helping her up gently so you could continue to fuck her, as you promised you would
  "I love you, too" she confessed and you kissed her quickly, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. It was at that moment, when you saw her smiling underneath you, that you didn't care if the guys heard the two of you. She was yours and you were hers. You had her and she had you. Nothing could ruin that.
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butterfliesinmyguts · 4 years ago
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A Helping Hand
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summary: reader always helps around and levi wonders why.
warning : fluff, angst, and happy lovely stuff(may or may not turn into a series)
“ you did better today...” Mikasa breathed pushing my body off of hers. I finally was able to take her down. before dinner, she’s been helping me train to get better at combat.
a smile fell on my face, getting up and dusting myself off, “ keep it up and I’ll be more scared of you then those titans are..” I was able to keep up with Mikasa in ODM training, which was nearly impossible for everyone else. i felt at home in the air- as soon as my body begins to float, everything thing else zones out. my swords were just an my arms extended and I felt so powerful killing titans- scared yes- but powerful, but on ground I’m a clumsy wreck.
“ now let’s go eat before our meals fall victims to Sasha” letting out a laughed, I quickly remember a promise I made earlier today.“ could you save me a potato or something? I promised Jean I’d cover for his stable shift...” My friend sighed, “ again y/n?” quickly nodding, I set off to the stables.
I didn’t mind helping, if it was me I would want someone to offer to help me. sometimes I helped hange with mission plans, the days we go into town a lady sometime needs help carry supplies in her store, at the end of the week I help armin with reading, and at the beginning of the week I help captain levi organize his papers.
helping Levi is my favorite part of the week, if I’m in his office late enough he’ll set a cup of tea in my face with the words “ drink “ following after. while in my focused trance of replacing the water for the horses, and daydreaming about my captain Levi- two feet come into my line of vision. looking up my eyes were met with cold grey ones and then his trademark frown.
“ why are you out here, this is Jean’s punishment” dropping the buckets to the dirty stable ground, I wiped the sweat off my palms against my pants- fucking Jean, you told me this was duty.
“ just giving him a helping hand” my voice cracked, trying to laugh off the pure nevrousness that his presents brings me. I admit that im extremely fond of captain levi. he’s was the only guy that has ever made my stomach go crazy just by looking at me. the way he holds himself, short- yes- but never looked down on. he is humanity greatest soldier, during training I swear that he watches me. I feel his eyes burning my skin, the one time I did catch him Levi’s eyes widen and his breath hitched. I would kill to even be able to hug him, sometimes I imagine what it’s like to kiss him-but know that’ll never happen, hange told me that he thinks I’m silly and child like - he’d never feel that way about me.
“ - and now you’re standing there looking stupid, are you going to answer me y/n?” I realized that I’ve completely blocked out everything he said.
“ i.. please repeat the question- I’m sorry.” pinch his nose, my captain shook his head toward the ground. “tch, I asked you why your doing his punishment ?” shrugging, I began to brush the horses. “ I like being a helping hand, -“ before he got the chance to scold me I continued with “ it’s the only thing that makes me feel happy..”
looking up to catch him staring at me, our eyes locked together and for the first time ever I saw his eyes soften. taking him in, cause I may not ever be allowed to do it again, my heart ached. Levi is beautiful, breathtaking. his youthful glow made those dark orbs glow,if lips werent in the plain straight line- they would be puffy and pinky- so kissable. pulling my eyes away I finally breathed, trying to focus on the brush going through the horses hair while Levi still watched me. “ if that’s the case I need help mapping out the next expedition, hange told me your quite intelligent.” my cheeked warmed and a smile began to creep up on my lips- hange is getting so much praise next time I see them.“ I’ll find out for myself..” that smile dropped. “ come to my office after you clean and change from your filthy clothes.” nodding I watch the man walk towards the dining hall. On the inside, I was doing leaps. more time with levi, and we’d be talking to each other- I get too share my thoughts with levi.
“let the horse boy have fun with his siblings, and if I catch you doing other’s chores I’m making you run until the sunsets...” and you giggled.
during dinner levi couldn't help to think of you. why did you look at him like that, was there something on his face? maybe you were just scared, but no he’d always caught you looking at him. rather it been during training, in the dinning hall, and even doing expeditions.
Recalling back to when he first saw you, that smile you had permanently planted on your face- stupid what made y/n so happy? he was even more stunned when you got your ass handed to you by reiner during training and yelled “ again!” with that grin. that beautiful smile, y/n was beautiful- everyone knew it. levi heard eren, jean, connie, armin, and even hange talked about what they would do to have you in they’re beds, they all ranted about you body- Levi will admit that he has imagined your shy breath as his hand roamed your skin but It's more than looks with you, you care so much and you're gentle with him.
y/n would make sure that you take off your boots when entering his office ( which is tedious a job in itself ) but you did because Levi hated it when his floors were dirty and when on missions you squeeze all you cadets hands just to comfort them. no one ever has been gentle to him, it made him feel important but more importantly, why couldn't he stop thinking about you.
after showering, you changed into you nightclothes and headed to levi office. you knocked softly to quick “ come in..” I opened the door to Levi pulling two cups of tea. “ your late, I hope you didn't finish the stables...”
pulling your shoes off placing them beside his door you watched him pour, “ I didn’t” assuring him. moving towards the desk, examining the maps- Levi’s notes were so oragnized and neat. each note had so much detail about the surrounding area. while familiarizing with the map, Levi placed the tea cup infront of you. “ drink.” Brushing passed you, he set down in his chair.
why would he risking going in the open field for 740 meters, “ wouldn’t it be better to use this patch for cover?” expressing my concern, levi leaned up and listened to me rumble about the how it’ll be longer but it’ll save more cadets- every change I got I took a peek to see if he was still listening.
those sliver eyes watched me draw circles and point at the map, bottom lip between his teeth. i imagined how good it would feel to push my lips against them, the relief and pleasure that would rush through my body. I craved him “urh- but those are my thoughts..” finishing pushing away from the desk, distracting myself by sipping the tea.
“ where would we stop ?” Levi questioned, my heart warmed up, I stood over him to explain better “ over there would be a great rest point..” pointing to it, my neck completely in front of levi. I felt his breath hitched, clearing my throat i grabbed the pencil marking the on the map. “ I notice a cabin the last time we traveled...”
“ tch, impossible that’s a bit of the trail, with those tree you couldn’t have seen anything..” looking down in shame “ well while everyone was sleep I explored, even found a waterhole..”
I knew the risk of exploring, but I couldn’t help myself. while setting up for camp I saw a stream pulling down and I just had to see.
“don’t ever do that again...” nodding feeling ashamed, does this mean I have to go stay in the dungeon like eren? his eyes lighten a smirk playing along his lips.
“ just don’t go alone okay?” smiling at his words. sitting across from him I continued to tell him my discoveries - making sure he took notes of the waterhole and fields filled with berries. Levi forced me to write all my finding down, and he promised to even follow me on one of my ventures next time.
as time flew by tea cups were spilled, by me of course, and I was forced to re write the papers I ‘ ruined ‘ leaning my head on this desk my eyes flutter - wake up y/n - yawning I turned to levi still writing, how is he still writing? that tea was not keeping him up. so much energy, my eyes trailed his toned arms- the veins moving every in each stroke. blinking I distracted myself from my dirty thoughts.
“ you need to sleep levi” stretch my bones, the pop and crack give me a shot of adrenaline so I can actually wake up. “I’m fine” he muttered.
Levi eyes sunk from the lack of sleep, he was fighting it- too focused in his work to care that his eyes were burning and skin was red with an indention on his finger from the pen. “ they’ll be there tomorrow I promise..”
I reach to grab the papers, placing my hand softly on his bicip- he stiffened instantly and pushed my back into his bookcase. my ass landed on the ground,“ owe!” I cried, rubbing my back. fuck he is strong for a little guy, wow.
“y/n!”
levi rushed over and I swear his eyes were widen, like he was worried that he actually hurt me. Levi quickly leaning down watching me.“ I didn't mean to that y/n” a couldn't help but smile at him. were so close right now, my nose filled with his fresh scent- mint and tea leafs.
“ don't worry captain I-” levi’s hand pat my head. I could fucking scream in joy right now. did he just pat me? he never touches anyone. what does this mean, pulling away I watch his hand close as his finger tips carcassed his palms. as if he was trying to saver the feeling of my head, huh?
“your being gentle with me, why?” questioning him- levi set down in front of me. “ why not, your gentle with everyone else..” my eyes widen, he notices me In that way? planting his hand on my cheek, my heart stop, It felt so warm- his thumb wipe the tiny tear from the corner of my eyes. I’m blushing “I just flung you, and your still smiling why?”
shrugging “ I should have known that what’s going to happen” breathing out, I stared at his lips. “ y/n..” nodding not looking up at him. just kiss him, Levi is right there.
“ l'm going to kiss you..” he leaned and pushed my hair out of my face. repeating those words in my head, “ is that okay?” nodding quickly our lips came together as Levi took me in. I felt his chest against mine, and I couldn’t help but to grip his collar pulling him closer.
our lips begun to dance with each other, levi hands landed on my waist pulling me on top of his thighs. that smile still planted on my face between the kisses, while my hand combed his undercut.
my daydreams weren’t even a compare to the real deal, gently rubbing the back of his neck, Levi groaned into my mouth. With each movement we gained a slow rhythm,our body flowing against each other. I couldn’t help but to moan in pure pleasure I was feeling.
levi pulled bac slowly and watched me with my smiled in a drunken daze. replaying the moments in my head, Levi just kissed me, Levi my captain levi thinks of me- he thinks I’m gentle. a “ wow” left my mouth as he got up, leaning down quickly to steal one last kiss. my smiled never left my lips as I stood up leaning against the bookcase as finger tips brushed over my lips, hope the tingling sensation never went away. Im buzzing, I’m buzzing- all because of him.
watching the man, pick the fallen books up his eyes went to the window . “ it’s almost dawn, go get some sleep” Levi ordered coldly , point toward his bed.
fuck, “it’s dawn already!” I darted around Levi’s office trying to clean my area and while getting myself together. Levi stood there confused, as my actions all clicked in his head- arms crossed tightly along his chest.
“ I promised sasha that I’d help her with her hair this morning- I hope she’s not up already- oh no” slipping on my shoes on. opening the door to walk out, I give him a warm smile. “ I’m so sor-“
“ don’t worry, thanks for the helping hand..” leaning in to kiss him I was met by a closing the door. dumbfound I stood there, “what?”
part 2!
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wooyunhwa · 4 years ago
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kingdom of welcome addiction | seven
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view pinned post for masterlist / links to the rest of the parts!  note: this is part 7! I recommend reading all the parts before this one (on my masterlist!)
Genre: smut (with plot), angst, some fluff in this part
Pairing: demon!san x fem!reader / angel!yunho x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.1k
Warnings: oral (female receiving), edging, very light dumbification if you squint
Synopsis: Torn between two opposing forces competing for your attention, who will you choose?
A/N: Thank you for reading and comments are super appreciated as always! Sorry this took so long to get out and it’s a bit shorter than usual parts, but I’ve been having trouble writing recently! (lots of stuff in my personal life) Anyway I hope I can update more frequently from now on! I hope you enjoy anyway~
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You made your way out of the lecture hall through the same door Yunho had left out of. A part of you had expected him to be there, waiting. He was nowhere in sight. 
But San was. 
“I take it your angel boy didn’t take kindly to my marks?” 
You narrowed your eyes. “What we did back there, it was a mistake,” you said in a hushed voice as you approached him, poised against the wall in the bustling hallway. 
“Oh, darling. We both know that’s not how you feel,” he quipped with a wink. How could he still be so charming to you even when you were angry at him?
He reached out a hand to touch you, but you shied away from it. “Not here,” you hissed. “Let’s talk at my apartment today.”
He rolled his deep coffee-colored eyes. “Does that mean I have to walk? This human body isn’t good for much, I’m learning.”
“Take the bus, actually,” you responded dryly. 
“How do you humans do this every day? This whole walking everywhere thing. It’s exhausting,” he grumbled through his teeth as he gathered his things up to follow you out of the building.
It felt particularly strange, being in public with him. Something about it felt wrong, illegal even, like you were transporting some sort of wanted criminal through the streets. He looked like one, too, even now. Even in his human form, he looked like pure trouble. He was, after all.
Despite your extensive history with him, small talk felt awkward. You stared awkwardly forward during your bus trip, resisting the urge to push your hips against his and feel his warmth. You hadn’t realized how much you missed his touch until he was all over you in the chemical closet, and you couldn’t help but want more now. 
The tension only grew thicker as you let him into your apartment. You realized this was the first time he’d ever gone through the front door—usually he just popped up like magic. Demon magic, you supposed. 
“We should talk—”
Sans lips curled into a cheeky grin, cutting you off before you could finish. “I thought that was what we were doing here, darling.” He took a step close to you, cutting off any space left between you. His eyes glazed with unmistakable lust. “Unless you’d rather do something else.”
“I—I would…” You broke your gaze away, heat pooling in your cheeks. “But… we need to talk about this. You can’t keep messing around outside my classroom.”
“And why’s that, lamb? Jealous?”
You gritted your teeth. It was useless playing his game. Honesty was the only way you would get anywhere. “Yes, San. Yes, I was jealous. I am jealous. Your lips on another girl makes me feel sick.” 
You drew your gaze back up to his to take in the smug look on his face, but you were met with a serious gaze. He bit his lip slowly before clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth. “To be honest, it makes me a bit nauseous too. None of them have the same...  delicious taste. Kissing lowly humans is more of a chore than anything.”
“Are you admitting you only did that to make me jealous, then?”
“I have my reasons. Nothing you need to worry about, darling.” He stepped forward, pinning you against the wall of the hallway like he’d done earlier in the chemical closet. 
Despite the looming guilt for what you’d done to Yunho, his sad eyes and disappointed gaze haunting in the back of your mind, you craved more of San. It crept up on you slowly, washing over you until it was unmistakable. You needed more. 
You didn’t give him a chance for him to play around with you any more. You knew what you wanted now, and you were going to take it. Your lips came crashing into his, nibbling lightly at the soft skin of his lower lip as you kissed. He growled low in his throat, reciprocating against you with hungry bites, tugging and nipping at your lips with his distinctly fang-less teeth. His lip ring felt comfortingly familiar to taste, cold against you as you slipped your tongue in his mouth. 
His hands found their way under your shirt, pushing up under them to feel every inch of your skin. You squirmed under his touch, cold from walking in the outside air, moaning against his mouth as his fingers cupped around your breasts and yanked your bra up, letting your breasts loose beneath it. His index finger circled your sensitive nipples, and you whimpered into him, pulling away to bury your head in his neck. 
He had you worked up so easily again—it was barely an hour ago that he’d fucked you until your legs shook in the chemical closet, and yet you craved it all again somehow. 
San’s deep, honeyed voice purred in your ear. “I just realized something, lamb. I was so busy fucking you senseless earlier I forgot to make you feel good, too.” 
Your knees buckled under you at his works, sending pleasured waves and vibrations down your spine, contracting the muscles in your thighs until you felt hopelessly weak. His hands found their way down to the skirt he’d fucked you in earlier, this time tugging it down until it pooled at your ankles.
He slowly sank down, peppering kisses along your sensitive skin as he travelled lower down your body, dropping your shirt back into place as his knees found their home against the cold hardwood floor. 
He kissed the soft skin of your thighs gently, carefully and teasingly avoiding your neediest areas. "San, please," you begged, squirming from his merciless teasing. You craved his tongue against you—if you didn’t know any better, your body would have had you thinking you needed it as badly as you needed oxygen now. 
"Beg for it, baby," he growled against your thighs, swiping his tongue slowly and deliberately just shy of your folds. 
"San please—please I need it..."
"Need what?" 
"Your tongue—I need—please," you pleaded. You knew you were playing his game, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were desperate. 
"You're so cute when you're begging. Pathetic little thing, can't even get words out," he cooed mockingly. You laced your fingers in his hair, hopelessly grinding your hips to his face, hopefully to find his tongue. He wouldn’t budge. “Uh-uh, lamb. I’ll get there. Patience.”
You groaned impatiently, wiggling your body again to find some—any—relief from the teasing, but he refused. He gently ran his finger tips over your legs, tickling the soft skin of your thighs with his torturously light touch. He licked a long stripe up the sweat-slick skin of your inner thigh, grasping your thighs harshly to keep you still as you squirmed under him. 
“San—San I can’t take it,” you whined.
He looked up at you with hungry, playful eyes. You could tell he was basking in every second of you conceding to his control. “Okay, darling. But only because you’re too delicious to resist.”
You could swear you ascended to heaven for a moment when his tongue met between your legs. You melted against the wall, gripping your fingers tighter in his hair. He licked skillfully, deliberately, as if he had been planning and perfecting every move beforehand. Maybe he was that good, or maybe you were just that horny. 
He brought his fingers up, pushing them inside slowly as he worked carefully at your clit. It was like he slowed down every time you were close to your edge, as you started to grip tighter and grind against his face harder, he pulled back, slowing the thrusts of his fingers inside and swiping his tongue painfully slowly. It was easy to tell when you were almost there—a string of fucks fell from your lips like it was the only word you knew. You were beginning to think it actually was. 
“Has my lamb had enough?” he asked smugly, smirking against your thighs as he kissed at the soft inner flesh, giving you a break from the torturous edging.
“Yes, yesyesyes, please San—”
“Be good and cum for me now, okay?”
You nodded vigorously, but he was buried back between your legs again before he even had a chance to glance at your affirmation. It barely took anything for your orgasm to wash over you, his tongue dancing over your clit and two fingers buried deep inside you, thrusting steadily as you shook. It rocked through your whole body, waves of pleasure riding from your toes all the way up through every limb, a rush overwhelming your brain. Complete bliss. It was more intense than you could ever remember experiencing—San’s merciless teasing had paid off, as much as you hated to admit it. 
He smirked as he stood up, sliding his fingers out of your slick entrance, looking particularly satisfied at his accomplishment.
He opened his mouth to speak—probably to praise himself—but his efforts were interrupted by a series of loud knocks at the door right next to you. You jolted back at the sudden noise, knocking the back of your head against the wall. 
"Ah—ow—fuck." You cursed, panicking slightly as you stood there, embarrassingly exposed but suddenly wide alert after your moment of bliss. 
San swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, moving backwards out of view of the door. You scrambled to pull up your skirt and panties, smoothing out your hair, which was tousled messily from writhing against the drywall. 
You didn't have to move very far to get to the door—you and San had barely made it out of the entryway. You fumbled with the lock and the doorknob. The door swung open, and you were greeted with Yunho, his uncharacteristically serious gaze meeting yours coldly.
“Yunho—” 
“Smells like a demon in here,” Yunho sneered, glancing through the doorway at San peeking his head into view. “Of course he's here."
“Yunho, I’m so sorry, I—”
“We should talk.” He was frighteningly serious now, and you felt uncomfortable in his dark presence, his gaze making you feel particularly small. His aura still shone brightly, but there was nothing sunshiney about the way he spoke. “Without the demon.”
“I can’t exactly pop out of the room now, Yunyun,” San jeered, tapping his feet against the ground. “I’m cursed with these earthbound legs.”
“Then walk out,” Yunho said dryly, pushing his way into the apartment. You stumbled out of the way, not daring to be in his path right now. 
“Yunho—” you started, your voice suddenly small and meek. “What- what if I just… put him in the bedroom? We can talk on the couch.”
“Put me in the bedroom?” San chuckled behind you. “What am I, your unruly dog?”
Yunho narrowed his eyes in San’s direction. “That’s exactly what you are.” Then, back to you. “That’s fine. We can talk out here. I don’t need much of your time.”
You swallowed hard, before motioning to San to wait for you in the bedroom. He rolled his eyes, sulking as he shuffled his feet to the room and closed the door behind him. You hesitantly pulled your gaze back to Yunho, who only seemed to be growing taller and more intimidating by the second. You hardly recognized him like this, hardly any angel left in him. 
You made your way to the couch, sinking down into it nervously. It was hard to even look at him—the guilt was already eating away at you, only compounded by the fact that you just let San tongue fuck you in the hallway minutes before.
He sat down next to you, maintaining a significant distance. 
“Yunho, I—” you started, but he wouldn’t let you finish. 
“It was a mistake. Letting my emotions get clouded like that, it was a mistake. It was unprofessional of me to walk away from you like that. My job is, was, and always will be to protect you. It can’t be any more,” he said with a sigh, dropping his eyes to the upholstery. His mouth was slightly agape, as if it was itching to say more, so you didn’t dare speak. “We can’t do this anymore. You and I. Kissing. Cuddling. Or... anything else. Our relationship needs to be strictly business from now on.”
You gulped, taking in his words. They stung harshly in your chest, like a knife digging in. But you knew he wouldn’t budge. It was no use fighting it. He was deadly serious. “I—I understand. It won’t happen again.” The room fell silent for a moment. “But… but what about school? Can we still—”
“I’ll play that role at school. Acting. That’s all it can be. I don’t want any rumors circulating if we were to ‘break up’.” He lifted his gaze back to meet yours, softer now. He glowed once more, and it felt like a weight was lifted off your chest as he softened his demeanor. “Y/N, I care about you. But I can’t care any more than I’m assigned to care. It’s unprofessional, and I won’t let it happen again.”
You nodded silently, tears welling in your eyes, but you shoved them down. You weren’t dating him, not in real life at least, but it still felt like he was breaking up with you. Your body ached as you pushed the tears as far down as you could, willing them not to spill over with everything you had. You refused to break down in front of him.  
“That was all I needed to say. I’ll let you get back to… whatever you were doing with San,” he signed, pushing himself off the couch with his large palms. “I guess he’s harmless in this form, anyway. A bit pathetic, really. Still, call if you need me. I’m your guardian after all.” He gave an empathetic smile, more closely resembling the Yunho you knew. 
You nodded in agreement, unable to choke out words for fear of your voice cracking and letting go of the tears that threatened to spill over at any moment.
He left just as quickly as you came, and the minute you clicked the lock behind him, you couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. 
You didn't want San to see you like this—crying pathetically over Yunho. You knew he wouldn't understand, he hated the guy, and his jealousy over him was palpable every time they were in the same room. You choked the tears in as you opened the door to the bedroom. San was splayed out on the bed, leaning charmingly against the pillows. 
"How's the angel boy?" he sneered.
His words alone were enough to immediately bring the sting to your swollen eyes again, unable to keep the tears back. You let out a single choked sob before collecting yourself. A lump collected in your throat as you spoke. "I-I don't want to talk about it."
You watched with slightly blurred vision as San's expression seemed to soften. "Come here, lamb."
You stumbled over to him, collapsing next to him. He opened his arms up invitingly. Was he asking you to… cuddle? That was certainly new. 
"I—I didn't want to cry in front of you. Especially over… Yunho. I thought you'd just be an asshole about it."
"You're only pretty when you're crying over me, darling. Not when you're actually sad." He wiggled his fingers, arms still outstretched, offering his warm embrace. "I'm soulless, not heartless. Remember?"
You couldn’t believe he was actually offering you his comfort like this, but you weren’t going to reject him. After everything, you just craved human touch. Well… mostly human.
You let out a few gasped sobs as you learned in and nuzzled against his chest, his warm arms pulling around you to keep you still as your body shook from crying. He stroked your back comfortingly, staying surprisingly quiet as he did so, with none of his usual quips or snarky offhanded comments.
You weren't sure how much time had passed, but at a certain point you couldn't even be sure why you were crying anymore. All you knew was his warmth, his arms, his scent, and the way he ran his hands from your hair all the way down your back so softly. 
Your vision drifted away into black, the last thing you remember was his fingers laced in your hair and the gentle rise and fall of his chest under you. 
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You woke up to a soft filtering of moonlight through the windows of your bedroom. Your phone alerted you to the fact that it was 3am. You weren't exactly sure when you went to bed, only that you fell asleep in San’s arms after quite a while.
Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a light snore and San twitching gently under you in his sleep. 
His sleep. 
You'd never seen him sleep before. His demon form didn't do this.
He was shockingly adorable in this state, mouth slightly agape, a small amount drool pooling at the corners of his lips. His hand twitched by his side, like a sleeping cat dreaming about chasing mice. 
He looked vulnerable in a way you never imagined he could be. Despite your heavy eyelids threatening to lull you back to sleep, you wanted to watch him like this for as long as you could. You climbed carefully out of the bed, draping an extra blanket you had over him carefully. He was still fully clothed, but you couldn't risk waking him like this. He looked so peaceful. 
You imagined it must have felt amazing for him to experience sleep in his human form—you were actually still exhausted yourself, immediately collapsing back into bed after stripping your street clothes from the day and changing into a more comfortable set of panties and a tee. 
You slept for the rest of the night next to him. You woke up at one point with his heavy arm draped over you, unconsciously cuddling you in your sleep. 
It was everything you wanted, everything you needed, and yet something about it was painful—the part of you that remembered it couldn’t always be like this. He wasn’t going to stay in his human form forever, he’d soon go back to being a sleepless demon, bound by his work. He couldn’t stay and sleep with you every night. He couldn’t hold you while you cried, not without a contract. He wasn’t yours. 
And yet you slept peacefully, temporarily comforted by his warmth, his presence, his adorable sleepiness. 
But you knew, deep down you knew—everything comes to an end.
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amxranthiine · 4 years ago
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e t h e r e a l (ron weasley x poc!reader)
ethereal (adj.) extremely delicate light, not of this world Pronouns: She/her
Request: Hiiiii! Can I request a Ron weasley x sweet smart reader (if you do POC can she be black?) and she’s a slytherin and friends with a lot of people and has a huge crush on Ron and she’s pretty sarcastic when she needs to be and hermoine is jealous of her because Ron really likes reader and she’s really pretty and smart and Ron plans on confessing to her but hermoine confronts reader trying to tell her she’s not good enough for Ron but reader is headstrong and doesn’t care cuz she loves ron to much and Hermoine and Ron get into an argument about it with her telling him she loves him but he doesn’t feel the same way and asks reader out later she says yes and hermoine is heartbroken(I’m sorry that’s so long I get pretty detailed😭)
A/n: Ahhhh! My first request!! Thank you so much for requesting this darling! Set in third year, the reader is a Slytherin. I’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted, I struggled with her being sweet. I had to make it a little angsty, sorry about that! 2.3k words of solid chaos, please enjoy!
Warnings: Bullying? Light swearing? Angst, then a bit of *fluff*, one f-bomb.
Summary: The reader is a POC Slytherin, who is in love with her friend, Ron Weasley. After an awful day, and a run in with his obsessed best friend, can she win the love she desires? (I’m so bad at summaries I’m sorry)
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ Y/n’s POV “What on Earth are you looking at, L/n?” A voice says to my left. A voice that belonged to Draco Malfoy. I snap out of my lovesick gaze and clear my throat, trying desperately not to blush. I had been staring at my longtime crush and friend, Ron Weasley, for the past five minutes. I thought I was being subtle, not that that matters anyway. Ron barely acknowledges my presence and Malfoy notices everything.  I would have been more scared if it were Granger who had caught me. Merlin knows she hates me for no reason at all, other than the fact that, you know, my robes are green instead of red. Oh, and she knows I like Ron. Bloody brilliant. Her catching my heart eyes would send me flying straight off the Astronomy Tower. She would be the one pushing me. It’s not that Hermione is a bad person, per say. It’s just, she’s a little... Possessive when it comes to her friends. Ron, specifically. She hates Slytherins with a passion solely because of Malfoy and his bag of rats, which is understandable. I just don’t understand why we’re hated for being cunning and ambitious, not all of us are dabbling in the dark arts! Malfoy pinched my dark skin, “I asked you a question, blood traitor.” Of course, because I’m friend with Muggleborns and Half-bloods, that automatically makes a traitor. Almost as bad as actually being a Muggleborn. Recoiling slightly, I lie. “I wasn’t looking at anything, Malfoy. I was merely thinking about the Potions essay that’s due on Wednesday.” On the outside, I may have looked annoyed, which I kind of was. But on the inside, I was trembling like a terrified doe. Merlin, why couldn’t he mind his own business? Playing with a strand of my dark hair, I sighed in exasperation. Malfoy snorts from beside me, “That’s a lie and you know it. Everyone knows you could rival that Mudblood Granger with how smart you are.” He spits out Hermione’s name as if it’s poison. I blush at the compliment (at least, I think it was a compliment) and look down and my hands. My green nail-polish contrasted nicely against my chocolate skin and Slytherin robes.  Inhaling sharply, I take a leap of faith and glance over at the Gryffindor table, only to find the man of the hour already looking in my direction with anger and hurt written all over his face. He then looked to my left, where the blonde ferret was sitting, and his hurt turned to fury. If looks could kill, Malfoy would be cremated in a second, just from the look Ron was giving him. My heart jumped to my throat, and I could feel my pulse everywhere. Why is he giving him that look? Why is he angry with me? What did I do?  Draco noticed my attention was no longer fully on him, and followed my eyes to the redhead. A look of realization crosses his face, and suddenly, he’s cackling. “Him? L/n, are you mentally deficient? He’s a Weasley! A blood traitor! He’s friends with Potter!” His words have a sense of venom to them, even if he’s laughing. I glared at him with cold eyes, “Listen, love, I have no reason to dislike Potter, unlike you. I also have no reason to dislike Ron, in fact I quite enjoy his presence. So, if you would please drop the matter and go on with your life, I would be thankful.” Malfoy’s face morphed into one of anger and disbelief. Sure, we may be friends, but I don’t deal with his crap just because he’s rich and a Malfoy. Luckily, or unluckily, Pansy Parkinson saved me from his wrath. “Yeah, okay Y/n, you’ve been in love with him since first year, everyone can see it!” She snorts, and the entire Slytherin table erupts into giggles. “That is, everyone but the Weasel,” She adds on. My face is as red as Ron’s hair and I feel my eyes tear up. Was it true? Did everyone know? I look around the room for a second, only to see Hermione glaring at me with a raised brow. I look away quickly. Malfoy is practically wheezing from how hard he’s laughing, “Honestly, Y/n, do you really think you have a chance with him? He and Granger practically eloped the day we got here! You would be crazy to think you actually stood-” He stops talking when I stand up, tears streaming down my face. “You can burn in hell, all of you.” I whisper, my voice breaking. Everyone suddenly has a look of guilt on their faces, and I look at Ron one last time. I can tell he’s concerned, but I don’t need him. “Wait, Y/n, it was just a joke!” “Merlin, she’s so dramatic.” “Y/n, where are you going? We were just kidding!” I hear yells and shouts from the Slytherin table as I sprint out of the Great Hall. But what really got to me, was the one thing I heard from the dreaded Gryffindor table. “Look at her, pathetic isn’t she? She can’t even take a joke! Ronald wher-” Bloody Granger. Bloody Malfoy. I turn the corner and slump against the wall, sliding onto the ground with my legs straight out in front of me. I struggle to breathe, the sobs are coming out too harshly. I was a liked person in my year, with plenty of friends. At this moment, though, it seemed as if everyone hated me. I tried to muffle the sound of my cries with my hand, but to no avail.  “Y/n! Are you alright?” I eyes dash to the sound of the familiar voice, and quickly wipe my eyes when I see Ron running towards me. “Y-Yeah...” I mutter, “I’m fine.” My lungs hurt from holding back my cries, my lips quivering from the familiar sting in my throat. Ron sat down beside me, my eyes meeting everything but his own. “You’ve always been a bad liar,” he chuckles slightly. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. “Have not,” I mumble. As much as I craved his presence, I was not in the mood for games. I looked down at my hands, something that was quickly becoming a nervous habit. Luckily he must have sensed that I didn’t want to talk about what just happened, and stayed silent for what seemed like eternity. Ron examined me for a moment, he was nervous, just like me. I didn’t know what he had to be nervous about, it wasn’t like he liked me as anything more than a friend... “Y/n...” He whispered, I hummed in acknowledgment, looking at him. “I-I just want to say,” He stuttered, “I don’t care that you’re a Slytherin. I know that may seem impossible because I’m a Weasley, and a Gryffindor, but...” He trailed off and took a deep breath, “ I-I care about you...” My head shot up so fast, I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash. My heart was thumping against my ribcage harder than ever, and my stomach felt weak. “R-Ron?” I whispered, not wanting to believe my ears or what my brain was trying to desperately to tell me. He likes you, you idiot! Why can’t you see it?  He bit his lip and closed his eyes, something I would have found absolutely adorable if I wasn’t about to faint. “Y/n, I-” “Ronald!” Yelled a high pitched voice. My heart (and spirits) dropped and I sighed. Here we go. “Where have you been? We’re going to be late!” Hermione yelled. “Coming, ‘Mione,” Ron called after her. He looked at me apologetically, though he also looked... pained? “Ronald! Stop talking to the snake and hurry up!” She shouted again, and my rage levels increased drastically with those few words. Ron squeezed my hand to try and calm me, or to stop me from pulling out his best friend’s hair. “Bloody hell, woman! I’m coming!” He turned to me, “Bye, Y/n, see you later.” With a small wave, he was off. It was later that night, I was walking back to the dungeons after hours in the library, writing my Potions essay. Humming a tune I don’t remember the name off, I was slightly spaced out as I strolled along the familiar corridors. What wasn’t familiar, though, was the wand at my neck. Hermione-fucking-Granger was standing right in front of me in all her brilliant glory. Her perfect defensive stance with her wand right in my face. “Hello, Hermione,” I say, trying to stay calm. She scoffs, a disgusted look painted on her face. “Don’t ‘hello, Hermione,’ me L/n,” She practically spits. I shrug, and try to move around her. “Okay, then goodnight, Granger.”  She still blocks my path. “What’s going on with you and Ron?” There is an edge to her voice that tells me there are no right answers. I am genuinely confused and befuddled, “Nothing is going on between Ron and I?” I state, though it sounds more like a question. What on Earth made her think that someone was going on between Ron and I? I mean... I wouldn’t complain if something was going on, but alas; absolutely nothing. I suppose that answer only made her angrier; “That’s bullshit.” “Is it?” I question, trying to push her buttons. She scoffs again and pushes her wand closer to my face, “Ron is mine. Not yours, mine. Stay away from him, or you’ll regret it.” I was raging at this point, but I couldn’t say anything... harsh to her, because Merlin forbid anything happen to the Brightest Witch of our year. So, instead of potentially harming my crushes obsessed best friend, I settled with, “Yeah, okay, whatever Hermione. Can I leave now?” Seemingly satisfied with my answer, she steps aside and watches as I walk away. “I’ll be watching you, L/n,” She says, trying to threaten me. I just snort. “I’m counting on it, Granger,” I call back and pranced away. Internally I was screaming, what would she do to me? Why is she so obsessed with him? Is she so jealous that she feels the need to threaten any girl that even comes close to her precious Ronald? Yes, she is.  The next few days, I avoided Ron like the plague. He knew I was avoiding him, too. Anytime he was within fifteen feet of me, I turned around and practically ran the opposite direction. It didn’t help that Granger had such a smug smirk on her face whenever I saw her. All I wanted to do was shove my middle finger in her face and call it a wand.  It was getting increasingly difficult to ignore Ron, and I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up with it. The longing stares when no one was watching, to the daydreams of what we could be during class- I couldn’t stay away. One night, I was- once again- walking back to the Slytherin common after hours in the library. Only, it wasn’t a wand in my face that made me pause. No, it was the distinct sound of arguing around the corner. Curious, I tip-toed towards the noise, trying to be as quiet as possible. Which was hard because of the echoing halls of Hogwarts, but somehow I wasn’t caught. “Why would you do that, Hermione?!” A very familiar voice yelled. “Because, Ronald, she’s a Slytherin!” Hermione yelled back. “That cannot be the only reason! She’s the nicest Slytherin there is! You don’t own me, ‘Mione! You have no right to decide things like that!” Ron was fuming, I could tell just by the sound of his voice. Somehow, I knew they were talking about me. I was the only Slytherin Ron could tolerate. “Fine, you want to know the reason? I love you, Ron! She was getting in the way!” Merlin, I really should stop listening before I start crying. “Getting in the way of what?!” “Us!” “There is no ‘us,’ Hermione! I don’t love you, I love Y/n! And you deliberately sought her out... And threatened her?! Bloody hell, you’re completely mental!” Ron was practically screaming at this point, he was so mad. I was completely shocked, he loved me? He loved me?! Am I dreaming? Apparently my gasp was louder than I thought, because both Ron and Hermione turned in my direction. Well, shit, I can’t run now. “You love me...?” I whisper. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around that fact. My tummy was swarmed with butterflies, my feet tingled and my hands were completely numb. I couldn’t believe it. Ron just stared at me, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “I-... I... Urm... Y-eah.. I do,” I could have laughed at his attempt to speak, but I was completely dumbfounded. Not trusting my voice, I raced over to him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him into a kiss. This kiss... it was something ethereal. It was slow and passionate, but full of love and desire. There was nothing else like it. Our mouths moved in sync for what seemed like forever. I didn’t want it to end. His hands traveled from my waist to my face, cupping my cheeks gently as he towered over me. Alas; all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately we have lungs that feel the need to burn when you don’t breathe. Pulling apart slowly, I smile at him, genuinely smile. His cheeks are almost as red as his robes, and his hair ruffled from my hands running through it. “I take it you love me too?” He asks, smiling just as wide as I am. I nod, and giggles flow out of my mouth from how happy I am. He looks like he’s in a daze, “Bloody hell, Y/n, you’re brilliant.”  “Y/n L/n, will you be my girlfriend?” He doesn’t leave my embrace as he asks this. I gasp, “Yes! Merlin, yes!” Jumping into his arms at lightning speed. A quiet cry is heard from the right of us, and we look over to see Hermione, a hand over her mouth and tear stains on her cheeks. Ron shrugs, “Sorry, ‘Mione!”
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