#i was looking over my posts and was like ‘1st of all. damn i’m interested in a lot of dystopian and emotional games. 2nd of all-

[jazzedpunk]

can’t say im sorry for posting all the WHF stuff(because i’m not gonna apologize for my interests being posted on my own blog), but i will try to shake things up when/if i can👍

[dcandmarvelimagines]

sweeter than you ever knew. (pt. 1)

Series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 Pairing: Wade Wilson x Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6.8k Warnings: AFAB reader (uses she/her pronouns), 1st person POV, non-mutant Reader, some blood, Wade being too flirty for his own good, vaginal fingering, bathroom sex, dirty talking, the relationship with Logan is a "slow" burn in comparison. More smut to come, I swear. Author's note: Damn...it's been a while huh? My last comic related fic was in 2018, funny enough also because of a Deadpool movie. I was already sappy in a post before so I wont subject y'all to it. But this was intended to be a short little oneshot and has absolutely ballooned out of control. I'm thinking this will end up being five chapters. I will upload the second chapter concurrently with my ao3 upload, so if you prefer to read there, feel free! Also as a little aside: I am so unbelievably sorry that the reader's job working in outreach to help Al is barely described and is probably highly inaccurate. I was desperate not to get lost in the weeds of research on the subject. I needed something that would keep the reader out of the apartment most of the time and let the relationship grow differently, so neighbors was out of the question. If you work in community outreach (absolute angel), please just avert your eyes.

I used to think my life was boring. It was the same day in, day out. I never met anyone interesting or experienced new things. That changed when I knocked on an unassuming apartment door in a dingy building.

I worked in government outreach, providing assistance to elderly blind clients. I had been assigned to work with Althea Sanderson. Her file had listed her as combative and she didn’t disappoint. She absolutely hated my guts at first, grumbling about how she just needed her “disco dust” to keep going. She assured me that she had roommates and didn’t need me “thundering” around her small apartment. 

For nearly two weeks, I thought her mind had to have been slipping, because no one else would come from that apartment besides me. Imagine my shock when I walked into the place and found a hulking mass of a man, only in his boxers, in the kitchen. His brown hair, streaked with white, was wet after a shower and he was half heartedly rubbing at his shoulder with a towel covered in sparkly unicorns. “Who the hell are you?” He snapped, voice gruff. He glared at me like I had personally insulted him by my mere presence. My eyes darted all over him, the thick ropes of muscles in his arms, the harsh planes of abs, the thin sheen of dark hair on his chest, the trail disappearing into his boxers. The man yanked the fridge door open and snapped me from my drooling. 

I had barely stumbled my name out before Al, as she insisted I call her when she realized I wasn’t going anywhere, came around the corner, her hands guiding her along the wall. “Leave her alone Logan. She’s like herpes and I can’t get rid of her.” My lips pursed at the comparison. The man, Logan, huffed with either annoyance or laughter before padding away, beer clutched in his hand. For how big he was, I was shocked at how light on his feet he was. In comparison, I really did thunder around. 

“Oh! Do we have a new roomie!?” The voice trembled in excitement. Its owner bounded around the corner, clad only in low slung sweatpants, nearly tripping over the scraggly dog at his feet. I drew back, sucking in a sharp breath. The new man was no less tall than the other, but lean in comparison, with a wide chest and firm arms. But I was far more distracted by his skin. It was a mixture of mottled pink and white, looking more like swirled bacon fat than anything else. He was completely hairless but I saw the skin of his forehead rise. “Al, you didn’t say you had a hot granddaughter!” 

“Oh I’m not,” I said. While I was scheduled to be here for four hours, I was already contemplating how to escape the suddenly cramped apartment. 

“Does she look like she’s related to me dick for brains?” Al growled at him. The man shrugged, a megawatt smile plastered on his face as he picked up the dog and let it lick at his face. 

“She has the same wild sexual energy you do, my sweet black Betty White.” He walked closer, carelessly dropping the dog into Al’s lap just as she lowered herself into a creaky chair. The man theatrically bowed, snagging my hand to press a too wet kiss to my knuckles. His skin was unbelievably soft as it held mine, the grip light enough that I could pull away at any moment. “Wade Winston Wilson.” 

He was so close to me that I took a half step back. I gave him my name, just my first, and wriggled my hand free. “Um, I'm assuming your Al’s roommates?”

“Roommates is such a safe for work word, I prefer to be her personal pommel horse.” A laugh bubbles up before I can stop it. Wade grinned at the sound and shit, his face softened in such a charming way that I felt my defenses come down just a little. 

“I don’t think you understand what a pommel horse is.” 

“Isn’t it something you ride? Get all flexable on?” 

After that first awkward day, all four of us fell into an easy routine. Al seemed to warm to me more, though her sharp tongue never faltered. Wade was a vibrating ball of energy whenever I came over. He bounced around the kitchen as I made Al her coffee or insisted I sit with them to watch Golden Girls . I came to realize that only his right hand was so soft, the left was scratchy and blistered, which was something I refused to think about any deeper. Logan remained standoffish and reserved but he was there when I needed a break from Wade’s constant talking. I would occasionally find him sitting on the fire escape, smoking the cigar that seemed permanently stuck to his fingers. We often just sat in silence while Wade and Al argued about Ikea furniture. 

I had always found their schedule strange. They would disappear for days, sometimes weeks, at a time with no rhyme or reason. I had originally thought they might be businessmen but Logan’s quick temper and Wade’s obnoxious energy clashed with the idea. Wade often talked about going to exotic places and had brought me back a diamond that he swears up and down is not only real, but is also the tip of a woman’s finger. 

The day I found out their real profession had started horribly. The train line to Al’s apartment had broken, so I had to take a cab there. I was flustered, hungry, and in desperate need of caffeine when I trudged up the five flights of stairs to Al’s apartment, because, of course , her elevator had broken. It was customary for me to knock twice, allowing Al to respond before I used my key to come in. Today, my knocks were much shorter. “Good morning Al,” I called, slipping into the door before turning to close and lock it. I spun and nearly screamed. 

“Oh hey,” Wade said, leaning against the wall of the kitchen, a mug clutched in his hand. I was far more distracted by three massive claw marks across his chest, blood oozing down his stomach, staining his plaid underwear. 

“Oh my god! Wade!” My keys and purse clattered to the floor as I rushed to him, bracing my hands against his chest. “What happened?! Holy shit, oh fuck.” I was babbling now, distracted by how sticky and hot the blood was. But his chest rumbled under my shaking hands. I glanced up and saw a smile on his face as he failed to contain his laughter. “What are you fucking laughing at?! You’re dying here and you're laughing?!” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear. Miss good samaritan knows such nasty words.” I tried never to swear around patients but this was a worst fucking case scenario. 

“Oh fuck off! You’re dying and you're laughing ‘cause I said a bad word?!” That only seemed to make him laugh harder. 

“Calm down sweetheart,” came a rough voice behind me. Logan had started to call me that more often, but it always felt like he was insulting me with the word. It usually had a stinge of annoyance laced around it, now was no different. “He’s fine.” I peaked over my shoulder, hands still pressed against Wade’s firm chest, about to argue with the other man about how un fine Wade was. I nearly screamed again. A knife was embedded into Logan’s shoulder. There was blood everywhere . On his bare chest, his face, his hands and arms. 

“Logan!” I wanted to reach for him but couldn’t without leaving Wade to bleed out. 

“Now peanut,” Wade cooed and slid out from under my touch. “I told you, baby knife is just for the bedroom.” With that, Wade yanked the knife from Logan’s shoulder. The spurt of blood made my head woozy and I gripped the counter to hold myself steady. Logan barely reacted to the five inch blade being ripped from his skin, just a small grunt. 

“What’s going on?” My voice was thick with confusion. They had clearly been mauled and attacked in their own home, yet they walked around like nothing traumatizing had just happened.

“Target practice,” Wade said, using a kitchen towel to clean baby knife. Logan turned and dropped on the worn couch, the springs screeching in protest. 

“What?” I grabbed at his wrist before he could walk away. “Wade, please, I hope you understand how jarring that was. Now, please explain and cut all the punny bullshit out.” Wade pressed a dramatic hand to his chest like I had insulted him. 

“We’re mutants.” My eyebrows knitted together as I stalked toward the living room. Logan sat there, whiskey already in hand. He seemingly hid a bottle everywhere. Wade followed behind before collapsing on top of Logan. The older man snapped his jaws like an animal and a little snarl escaped his throat. Wade grinned, tugged at his hair, before going to the other end of the couch. 

“Mutants? Like the X-Men?” The scowl Logan shot me turned my blood to ice. Some of that shock must have shown on my face because Logan glanced away, taking a hefty swig of whiskey, and Wade tugged at my bloody pinky. 

“Ignore him, the X-men are a touchy subject for him, and never touchy in the fun way.” He scratched at his chest, some of the blood smudging. The skin was…

“You’re healed?” I knelt before the couch, hands feeling his chest. “Holy shit I thought you were going to bleed out.” It was impossible. The wounds were deep , I could have sworn I saw bone before. 

“God I’ve thought about you kneeling there for so long.” Logan’s fist cracked into Wade’s arm. My hands flinched away and I quickly stood. “Hurtful peanut. You know my arms always take too long to heal.” 

“Stop being a fucking creep,” Logan hissed. I turned to him and saw that the wound in his shoulder was also gone. Without thinking, I bent to touch the smooth skin, as if I couldn’t believe it without feeling it as well. Logan went still under my touch. I knew Wade didn’t mind the physical contact, he practically threw himself at me whenever I was around, but Logan was always just out of reach. I was too frazzled to think correctly anymore. 

“So you can heal,” I mumbled. 

“Very fast,” Wade said. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the tv. 

“You can stop touching me now sweetheart.” Once again, I snatched my hands back with a mumbled sorry , a faint flush burning my cheeks. 

“Comes in real handy with our line of work.” Wade was bouncing his leg, the couch squeaking under him. Logan’s hand shot out to still him, knuckles showing white for a moment. Wade winced and I heard another snap.

“Which is…?”

Logan answered for me, “mercenaries.” 

“Oh,” I plopped down on the rickety coffee table. The information settled like a lead weight in my stomach. My first instinct was fear. They killed people for money. Would they then turn on me now? Curiosity tugged at me as well. I couldn’t explain it but there was something so magnetic about them. The edge of danger had always been there, especially with Logan. I would have never guessed it was this. Ever since I first met them, I knew I would be fascinated. I guess I had my answer as to why they were as fit as models. “How come I’ve never seen anything? Do you guys not have…guns or whatever?” 

“He didn’t want to scare you.” Logan jabbed his thumb Wade’s way. I cocked my head at Wade, a tiny smile pulling at my lips. He actually looked a little bashful. 

“I’ve found that women don’t always respond very positively to my intestines hanging out.” My stomach flipped and I sat a little straighter. 

“Has that happened?” 

“No, but a fortune teller told me it will happen when I least expect it.” He stood with an excited jump, moving to stand in front of a small closet. There was only a faint limp in his movement. As he walked, I became incredibly aware that both men were nearly naked, only clad in thin boxers. With every step, Wade’s well defined back flexed and his legs tensed. I only allowed myself a moment to take him in before I drew my gaze away. He turned and flung the door open with flourish. “Behold! My batcave!” I glanced inside, and found a tall gun case, massive stacks of ammo, and two katanas balanced against a red suit. There was a yellow one tucked next to it as well. “Mine is the red one, a very flattering color I assure you.” 

“The yellow one is yours?” Logan just gives me a curt nod. His face is stone again, clearly done with this conversation. “Do you use any of that?” I ask, motioning to the “batcave”, whatever the hell that means. 

Snikt.  

“Woah,” I whispered. The three blades protruding from between his knuckles were shiny and looked wicked sharp. I leaned forward and pressed the pad of my thumb against the middle blade. It immediately split the skin and a drop of blood oozed down my skin. Logan watched my warily, like I was liable to jump on the claws at any moment. “Do they hurt?” There were small beads of blood around where they had pierced through his skin. With a flex of his veiny forearm, the claws disappeared. The blades slid smoothly between the bones on the back of his hand.

“Yeah, everytime.” I watch his skin knit itself together again with rapt attention. Once it finished, I ran my injured thumb over the regrown skin, our blood smearing a thick stripe across his knuckles. Logan’s hand was relaxed as I held it. Wade flopped back onto the couch, his head in Logan’s lap, baby knife clutched in his hands. Logan seemed resigned, face relaxing just a bit, and allowed Wade to rest. He withdrew his hand from mine before resting his arm across Wade’s neck. The motion was surprisingly domestic and it made my heart warm. Behind me, the Golden Girls theme played. 

“Isn’t Al in danger with you two here? Don’t you have enemies that could find her?” The briefest sad expression flashed across Wade’s face. I stood suddenly, “oh my god where is she? Did someone already grab her and that’s why you were fucked up?” 

“She’s fine, probably wandering the streets or whatever women of her age do,” Wade made a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Wade!” I stepped on his foot in my mad dash to my fallen purse. I needed my phone to do…something. Call someone? The phone call would sound ridiculous. Hi, I help a blind woman and her two mutant roommates are mercenaries and got her kidnapped. Yeah, totally believable. I had just snatched my bag up when the door opened and Al herself appeared. 

“Fucking Jesus,” she snapped as she ran into me. My body sagged in relief at seeing her. I gripped her shoulders, just to make sure she was actually there. 

“Oh my god Al, don’t fucking scare my like that.” Her hands flew up and shook out from my touch. 

“Well you were late!” I wasn’t. “Are those two done fucking yet?” I twisted to look at the men on the couch. Logan was half way out the window to smoke. I could have sworn I saw him lick at his bloody knuckles. Wade was studying me, the hint of a challenge in his eyes, daring me to say something about their relationship. I smiled, hoping it let him know I didn’t care. But that easy look might have been ruined when pieces fell together. The knife. The three slashes to Wade’s chest. Their near nakedness. 

Huh.

“Uh yeah Al, I think I ruined the mood for them.” She scoffed and shoved a grocery bag into my hands. I dutifully turned to the kitchen and began to store away the random assortment of items. She guided herself over to the coffee maker and began to load the grounds into a filter. 

“I think you are one of the biggest things that puts them in the mood honey.” I heard a growl float in from the window. 

Wade and Logan stopped avoiding me after finding out their true occupation. It never got any easier seeing their bloody bodies strew around the apartment. I slipped on enough stray bullets that I learned to watch my feet. Wade was always cleaning his guns with a concentration I didn’t think he was capable of. One night he forced me to sit down, offering his lap first and whimpered pitifully when I took the chair, and made me hold the gun, showing me how to cock it and flick the safety on and off. The name Chekhov was stamped across the side in shiny gold letters. “Do I really need to know this?” He leaned closer, cheek pressed to mine. His warm hands slid over my own, guiding me to a button that would pop the magazine out and helped me click it back into place. He had grown much bolder in his touching and I couldn’t bring myself to stop him anymore.

“Never know when you’ll need to flip the badass switch.” His bubbly finger tapped the glittering name for emphasis. I shifted in my seat to face him, my lips ghosting over his cheek. He followed my lead and our noses brushed. 

“I didn’t think I would need that with you around.” A beat passed as we looked at each other. There was something soft in his eyes that made my heart clench. “You’re going to protect me, right?” It wouldn’t take much to lean closer, to finally kiss him. I knew he was thinking the same thing and my eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation. 

The alarm for my Al’s meds broke the moment. 

I knew I was sliding into a sticky situation. I found myself staying later and later, well past my shift with Al had ended. It was absolutely forbidden for me to become involved with clients. The excuse that they weren’t technically my clients wouldn’t work on my boss. I needed to make a decision. Either stop working with Al or end any attachment to Wade, and Logan by extension. 

***

I’m not sure how Wade and I ended up on that date. He and Logan had been away on a job for a week. It was finally peaceful in the apartment but I couldn’t lie to myself, I had missed them. So I didn’t fight Wade too much when he asked “nicely”, aka demanded , he tag along while I ran errands for Al. She was the last person I had to visit for the day so I allowed him to drag me to a bar after I dropped her meds off. Logan had a dark look in his eyes when he saw Wade clutch my hand. “The old man is just jealous. He wishes someone would take him out, but he doesn’t do well in crowds, very bitey.” I smirked and let Wade choose our destination. His hand was steady around mine, giving it occasional squeezes as we rushed across busy streets. The bar he picked was properly seedy, full to the brim with haggard men with face tattoos. Normally, I would have run screaming from a place like this. But Wade was clearly well liked. He moved through the room, smiling and waving at everyone. He tried introducing me to some people but it was hard to keep their names straight. We found an empty booth tucked behind the row of pool tables. I eased onto the sticky laminate bench as Wade headed to the bar to get our drinks. I listen to the men next to my seat argue over who was supposed to break for their next game of pool while I waited. 

Wade returned with my drink, a neon green one for him, and two small shot glasses. I eyed them suspiciously as he passed me one of the whipped cream topped shots. “I thought it was only right to start our date with a blowjob.” I coughed on my laugh, examining the glass. He tapped his against mine before downing it and I followed his lead. It was pure sugar, nearly masking the burn of the alcohol. 

“Whoever made this has clearly never given a blow job. Way too sweet.” Wade grinned in that mischievous way he always seemed to when he was going to be especially gross. I had no idea why I was being so forward. But I felt light, happy. All my worries from work had melted away as Wade held my hand on our way here.

“Oh yeah? I’ve been told my cum is rather delicious. It’s all the pineapple I eat.” I rolled my eyes and matched his grin, propping my elbows on the table, head cradled between my hands. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat a single fruit. Or a vegetable honestly.” Wade copied my pose, fluttering his nonexistent eyelashes. 

“How about you taste mine and I taste yours?” I pretended to contemplate, eyes scrunching, head tilting from side to side. My hand inched across the table before I plucked the cherry from Wade’s drink. He saw me, I could tell by the minute flick of his gaze, but he let me take it regardless. I yanked it from the stem with my teeth and chewed thoughtfully. 

“Hm, I’m not sure. Don’t you think Al would talk if you were moaning my name so much?” He grabbed my wrist and dragged my hand closer. My breath caught as his lips enveloped my index finger and thumb. His tongue lazed over them before he drew back, the cherry stem between his teeth. 

“Sweetie pie, I moan it enough as is.” I blushed and my stomach grew warm. The stem disappeared, his jaw moving. “I haven’t been able to convince the old bastard to dress like you yet. But he lets me pretend.” I took a big gulp of my drink and glanced away. The patrons were starting to get more boisterous. Their shouts echoed off the peeling wallpapered walls as they called for more rounds or catcalled some of the working girls. I watched as a pretty blonde walked off with two men. Would Wade and Logan take turns? Or would they pin me between them, spreading me open on both of their- “Jealous?” My head whorled back to him but only found a knowing glint in his eyes. 

“Shut up,” I growled and took another deep drink. Wade’s tongue lolled out, in the center was a perfectly knotted stem. I shifted in my seat. This was not how I had intended the night to go. I wanted just a drink, conversation, and then home for a long awaited rest. But here I was, squirming at the mere sight of Wade’s tongue. “Impressive,” I mumbled. I reached across the table and plucked the stem from him. It looked like he was going for another kiss but my hand drew back too fast.

“I know it’s impressive. Just spelling out my name gets it all twisted like that.” I rolled my eyes with a smirk. 

“You didn't strike me as a guy who would spell his name out. I thought you might be a little more creative.” He leaned closer, eyes just a bit too wide. 

“Oh? What were you imagining I would do? I have a lot of skills and I’ll use them all on you.” Damn it . I finished off my drink and the booze buzzed down my body as it settled inside me. A small voice in my head reminded me that I needed to pick. That if I went down this road with Wade, I needed to stop visiting Al. But fuck, I craved the feeling of his hands on me. I dreamt of him and Logan anytime I saw them. My brain became more and more depraved as the weeks went on. I could barely look at them sometimes without blushing. 

“Wade,” I sighed, twirling my straw in the slowly melting ice. “If we do anything, I have to stop working with Al. It’s a conflict of-“ he held a scarred hand up and my voice died away. 

“No work talk. It’s Friday, let me show you a good time.” I sighed again but nodded. 

The night passed blissfully. Wade was a strangely great date, much better than any guy I’ve been with recently. He asked me a million questions, ranging from my childhood, food allergies, to my favorite Mexican food. He gave me half joke responses about his own childhood, but gave me enthusiastic answers to everything else . He bought me another drink after he finished his but I was careful to sip mine slowly. The last thing I needed was a hangover. He also brought some greasy fries and I dove into them gratefully. We played one round of pool, which he won by only a few points. Then he promptly annihilated me in darts. “So unfair,” I groaned. “You do this for a living, I would have never won.” 

“I thought you being sexy would distract me enough. Strip, then you’ll win.” I had that pleasant buzz running through me so his words just made me giggle. 

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that.” I held up my hand to cut off his next words. “Not now you horny bastard.” He pouted, lip stuck a full inch off his face. I playfully plucked at it. “Pout all you want. You gotta put more effort in to get me naked.” 

That was perhaps the wrong choice of words because he bent down, his lips colliding with mine. I gasped but grabbed at his sweatshirt, clinging to him. He kissed like he wanted to eat me, all tongue and spit. He tasted as sweet as candy from the bright cocktails he had. It made my head swirl, skin heat. His hands moved to my hips and traced the sliver of exposed skin before they dove into my back pockets, and jerked me closer. I moaned into him as I felt the hard ridge in his pants pressed against my hip. The few whoops from our onlookers made me pause. “Probably not the best place.” Wade’s voice was a little husky, lips still close enough to mine that they moved with his words. 

“No,” I mumbled. But neither of us disentangled from each other. “I should probably go home.” Wade sighed and straightened. He nodded, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear. 

“Fuck you look gorgeous.” His voice was barely audible under the conversations and the music. I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off. “I gotta hit the head then I’ll take you home.” He removed my hands from his sweatshirt, but still held one as he guided me to where the bathrooms were, situated at the end of a long hallway. “Wait here, don’t get too many men drooling over you.” Once he disappeared into the men’s room, I let out a breath. He was overwhelming, equal parts sweet, filthy, and ridiculous. The last thing I wanted to do was be responsible. To go home and ignore all the things he made me feel. I had already gone too far, what were a couple more steps? I bit at my thumb nail and watched the bathrooms intently. I didn’t see any women come or go into theirs. I scanned the bar and only found a handful of them. I knew I would have it mostly to myself. 

Cautiously, as if I was somehow breaking a law, I walked down and into the women’s bathroom. It was empty, mostly clean, and smelled fine. Which I’m sure is more than I could say about the men’s. I propped myself against the wall in the hallway, waiting for Wade to emerge again. Two men passed before I saw him. “Aw, I don’t need an escort out of this creepy hallway.” I roughly grabbed his shirt, and backed into the still empty bathroom. “Oh wow, the promised land.” 

I slammed him against the door, far too rough from nerves, but his face lit up nevertheless, a little excited laugh escaping him. “How about you show me those skills you talked about, yeah? Consider this a trial period before I let you fuck my brains out.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He hauled my body tight against his, lips crashing against mine again. This time, I gave into his kisses completely, his teeth tugging at my lips. There was a pinch of pain each time but it only made me claw at his neck harder. Judging by the groan he let out, I think I broke through skin. His tongue prodded its way into my mouth and I moaned loudly against him. His hands slid all over my body before they hooked behind my knees and he carried me to the counter. He lifted me like I weighed nothing. My head was beginning to grow fuzzy from our kiss but I refused to part, greedily sucking air from him instead. 

Wade was the first to rear back, gulping down lungfuls of air. I wanted to drag him back and kiss him till I was lightheaded again. “Goddamn woman,” he mumbled. I just hummed, moving my desperate kisses to his jaw. My hands crawled up his shirt and littered his torso with scratches. He leaned closer, my head hitting the mirror behind me, as he gripped my hips and dragged me flush against him. My legs curled around his waist, craving the feeling of his hard cock against me. 

“Wade,” I whined while I ground my hips against his. I found a particularly sensitive spot just below his ear that made him rasp my name. He cupped the back of my neck, leading me back to his greedy mouth. His thumb brushed along my jaw before his fingers delicately laid across my throat. I arched my neck to give his hand better access to the column of muscle. But his hands slipped from me entirely so he could shove my shirt over my breasts. He buried his face between them, peppering the skin with long, sucking kisses. “ Wade,” I moaned, hips bucking desperately against him, “I need you to fuck me.” His hand went to my jeans, pulling the button free and easing the zipper down. I yelped when his teeth captured a bit of flesh and bit down, hard . But the sting of pain only made me crave him more. Finally his hand plunged under my jeans and into my underwear. 

“So wet all ready,” he hummed, biting at more of my skin. He drifted over my clit in loose, but firm circles. With his free hand, he worked the cup of my bra down and captured my nipple in his mouth. I thursted against his hand in an attempt to get him to do more, to bend me over this sink and fuck me like I knew he wanted to. Instead, he traced the tip of his finger over my entrance and had the nerve to chuckle when I tried to force it inside. 

“ Jesus, Wade , stop teasing me.” My voice was airy, tinged with desire. His teeth glanced across my nipple and I nearly wailed. “Wade!” My nails went to his head and dug into his scalp, heels digging into his ass in annoyance. 

“I love the way you say my name, pretty girl.” His finger drove into me, pumping in and out quickly. He sucked one last bruise onto the top of my breast before he was kissing and licking back up my neck. 

“ More , Wade,” I panted, “you aren’t going to break me.” He laughed, the sound sending goosebumps across my feverish skin. Another finger worked its way into me and my eyes rolled back at the stretch, a sigh catching in my throat.  His thumb moved into more controlled figure eights. My legs trembled around him as he crooked his fingers inside, hunting for that spongy spot inside me. “Wade, oh fuck.” 

“God you moan so nice for daddy Wade.” Something between a laugh and a sob of pleasure bubbled up from my chest. Heat oozed through my body, settled deep in my stomach. 

“I’m not gonna call you that. Ah, keeping doing that, so good.” 

“Are you going to call Logan daddy when he makes you wiggle like this?” He found his mark and stroked the spot deep inside me with complete focus. My hips bore down on his hand, chasing for the orgasm I sensed. “ Aww seems like you like the idea. You’re sucking me in so much.” He bit more bruises on my neck, tongue lapping at the skin after to soothe the ache. “I can’t wait to see you stretched on his big dick.” 

I whimper, the tension inside me near breaking point. “Yours first.” The coil finally snapped. My eyes squeezed shut as a stream of his name and half gasps fell from my chapped lips. His free hand pinned my hip to the counter to stop its wild jerks. He scattered soft kisses across my face and cheeks as he worked me through my orgasm. It seemed to last an eternity and the waves of bliss made my body tingly. 

Eventually, my body relaxed and slumped against the mirror, chest heaving. Wade’s fingers remained in me, lazily plunging inside. Now that the haze had passed, I could hear just how wet I was. The lewd noises echo off the cramped bathroom’s tiles. “Wade,” I mumbled, tugging weakly at his wrist. “You should get to fucking me now.” 

“ Ew , how about you guys don’t. Do you know how dirty it is in here?” I jumped at the voice, scrambling to cover myself. Wade shifted himself to block me from view as I did. His fingers withdrew with a pop that made my face heat even more. The woman idly scrolled on her phone to give us privacy. My bra was fixed, shirt back over my chest, in record time. 

Wade was fine to let us wait it seemed. His sticky fingers lingered on my stomach, running over the curves and stretch marks, before he buttoned up my pants. “Okay sugar bean, let’s get you home.” He helped me off the counter, my weak legs wobbling just a bit. He kept his firm arm around me for support anyways. I had half a mind to think it was just to keep touching me. I didn’t mind and leaned into his side, head against his chest. 

The night was cool, the slight bite of oncoming autumn in the crisp air, and I breathed it in. My head felt clearer with each one. I went to pull away first, to tell him that I would see him on Monday, but he kept walking. “Where are we going?” 

“Gonna take you home.” I blinked. 

“How do you know this is the way to my place?” He made a noncommittal noise and shrugged. 

“Is some light stalking a turn off?” I knew I was crazy, absolutely insane, because all I did was beam up at him and cling closer. We made our way to my apartment in long winding segments. First the train where he pulled my legs over his and kissed at my wind whipped cheeks. Then a stop at a late night burger chain where Wade promptly drowned his in ketchup. We walked slowly to my apartment, hand in hand. Exhaustion had finally reached me and my feet dragged behind me. The night had only grown colder, breath misting in front of our faces. I was wearing a light jacket as I anticipated being home before the drop in temperature. I drew Wade’s arm closer, pressing it against my chest, clinging to the bit of heat. “You know, if we were both naked you would be warmer.” I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s absolutely not how that works. Also, my place is just around the corner.” We only had to walk a few more steps before I saw the familiar entrance to my apartment. Wade followed me to my door, leaning against the rail, waiting for me to fish my keys out of my purse. Once I had them in hand, I also tugged my phone from my pocket. “I don’t have your number.” I oddly felt shy, like this was too much of a leap. It felt more official like this. When I held it out for him, he took it eagerly, fingers tapping quickly. Then he kept typing. I peered down at my phone and saw him adding information for Asshole GILF, surrounded by an assortment of hearts. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know Logan had a phone, I had never seen him with it. 

My stomach dropped when I saw Wade open a conversation with Logan and began typing. I was only able to read the words horny and get it up before I snatched my phone back. “Oh my god Wade!” I rapidly deleted the text, refusing to read anymore of his nonsense sexting. “I would prefer Logan to not think I’m trying to jump his bones.” 

“Aw come on! Live a little. Logan loves people who come on too strong, especially on his face.”  

“I think you are probably the exception, Wade. Logan doesn’t seem to want much to do with me.” His cold palms cupped my cheeks and drew me closer. 

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, just you and me, yeah?” I nod, arms encircling his waist. The warmth of his chest spread into mine. “Logan dreams about you. He growls your name. He humps me in his sleep like a teenage boy. Then he wakes up and fucks me for hours.” My face heated at his words. I could feel him getting hard against my hip. “He wants you so bad it makes him crazy.” He pushed against me, just the slightest bit. “ I want you so bad it makes me crazy.” I realized that I never repaid the favor at the bar before being interrupted. 

“Do you want to come upstairs?” Wade smirked, kissing the apples of each cheek then my nose. 

“No, I’m gonna surprise Logan. He’ll go nuts when he smells you on me.” I blinked in confusion. I didn’t smell that bad, did it? “He has enhanced senses,” he explained. “He’ll be able to smell your cum on my fingers from outside the apartment.” 

“Oh god,” I mumbled, stuck between embarrassment and arousal. “Okay, well, don’t keep Al up.” 

“She has ear muffs.” I shook my head, chuckling at the absurdity. Wade pecked at my lips but didn’t allow me more. “Goodnight baby girl. Make sure you text me so I know who you are. So many crazy fangirls, you wouldn’t believe it.” 

“Uh huh,” I teased, finding the key fob for my building. Wade left one lingering kiss on my forehead before giving me a nudge toward my door. The scanner beeped, door releasing with a click. I wedged the door open before it could lock again. “Goodnight, see you Monday.” I blew him a kiss before the door clicked behind me as I went to the elevator. I reached for my phone and searched for Wade in my contact list. Of course I found him listed as Bootycall . Instead of solely hearts, his name was circled by eggplants and hearts. 

Me: you have to send me a picture for your profile. I could have missed you 

The elevator dinged and the door slid open. I traced my usual route to my apartment, jiggling the lock open with my key. My phone buzzed on the counter as I set it down to toe off my shoes and hang my coat up. 

Bootycall: once I’m done with Logan, I’ll send pictures for the both of us. 

Bootycall: Do you have other fuckbuddies? How could you? We should be the only ones for you

I woke up late the next day to two pictures. One was blurry, but the brown hair and a pointy white tooth told me it was Logan. It seemed Wade had tried to sneak it and was caught. The picture of Wade nearly made me faint. Pearly white beads of cum were splattered across his face and dripped off his exposed tongue. 

Me: I can’t possibly make that your contact picture

Bootycall: you’re right! Make it your background!

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

It’s high time I’ve done another rec post, so here I am, coming in hot with six WIPs you should be reading right now.

Before I get into the fics themselves, a word about reading WIPs. Look, I know it’s tempting to wait until a fic is complete. Not to mention the fact that there is an absolutely staggering amount of amazing fics out there. I’m a slow reader myself, and my TBR list, even after reading fics for nearly three years, is so damn long. I could easily sit back and only read older completed fics and probably never finish them all.

But. I love a good WIP fic almost like nothing else. Yes, binging a completed fic in one sitting can leave you flying high. But following a fic as it’s being written, interacting with said fic and cheering that writer on, gives me so much gratification. Getting that email notification for a new chapter, and feeling so eager to read the new update, is an absolute joy. I highly recommend.

Lastly, this is not an exhaustive list of current Carry On WIPs, but merely a small sampling. And if anyone has any good WIP recs for me, I’d love to hear them!

Only Creatures, WIP, currently 52k, rated E by @emeryhall

In this canon divergent story, Simon breaks up with Baz at the end of WS, leading Baz to become a recluse and a poet, growing a beard and hiding out in Scotland. When he finds out Simon is a camboy for a website called Only Creatures, they tentatively start wanking chatting again. Come for Baz’s Unabomber style, stay for the second chances and explorations of intimacy.

Everything Emery writes is amazing, and this fic is no exception. It’s a little absurd, incredibly witty and heartfelt, with a cast of OCs that quietly shine. This story has cracked my heart open and is slowly putting it back together. You won’t regret reading this one.

Hiding Out in the Open, WIP, currently 48k, rated M by @cutestkilla

Another canon divergence story, this time where Simon and Baz never got together after their truce in 8th year. After the SSR debacle, they meet again and this time start connecting over a shared interest in a psychology podcast.

This fic does an excellent job of having these boys dig into their trauma and issues via the podcast topics, letting them heal and connect, while also letting the reader marvel at the heavy Snowbaz vibes of every podcast episode. It’s so smart, I’m telling you.

I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man, WIP, currently 83k, rated T by @shrekgogurt

This football AU has Baz and Simon ending up on the same premiere league team, years after playing together at school. The author gives us flashbacks in every chapter of their frought relationship as teens, before progressing the story in the present.

I can’t believe I haven’t done an official rec post for this fic yet. Mary writes the sports bits of this story so vividly, and the flashback bookends of each chapter so perfectly tie into the current narrative, you’ll marvel at the complex way it moves the story forward. Seriously, one of my all time faves.

Basil Pitch’s Diary, WIP, currently 32k, rated T by @bookish-bogwitch

Watford-era Baz starts a diary on January 1st, determined to record his progress on various resolutions, namely, getting over Simon Snow.

This fic has the incredible humor of Bridget Jones’s Diary and will introduce you to your favorite version of acerbic, self-depricating teenage Baz. He will own your soul. There is no other outcome of reading this fic.

The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch, WIP, currently 25k, rated M by @monbons

This story watches a three hundred year old Baz, cursed after desperately trying to find a way to be loved on his own terms, wandering aimlessly in present times until he finds a certain blue eyed barista who has an unusual reaction to meeting him.

This AU is based on The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, but you don’t have to have read the book to become immersed in this achingly sad but thoroughly sweet story of hope and second chances.

Episode 6: Apres la Pluie, le Beau Temps, WIP, currently 10k, rated M by @artsyunderstudy

Another installment in the Star Trek series for the lovely @raenestee, this series is the epitome of following a good WIP story. Several authors have contributed to this sci-fi beast, and the progression of the story through several different writers’ hands is an absolute delight to watch. (And, as one of the authors, to participate in.)

If you aren’t yet reading it, this is a great time to join. We’re right in the middle of the story, leaving the four couples in Ashton’s very capable hands as she expertly guides them through various communication breakdowns. If you know nothing of Star Trek, don’t let that stop you from joining a thoroughly entertaining epic of a story.

[never-rpg]

Welcome to NEVER RPG! Please send in your url within 48 hours. Be sure to look over our checklist. We hope you enjoy, or at least survive, your time on the island!

Welcome to the island, ALI! You been accepted as ECHO with the faceclaim of Sophie Thatcher.

Your entire app was a delightful display of that ideal Lost Boy spirit! If I were to bet on anyone being able to survive, and even thrive, as a Lost Boy the longest of the lot, I’d put my money on Echo. I mean, with this energy: ‘and in a world that’s sink or swim, you’ve chosen to fight for every breath even when your new life threatens to overwhelm you at every turn. your own determination found your spot with the lost boys, and you’ll be damned if you’d ever let yourself lose the family you’ve found’. I know Echo is sort of an underdog at the start, but I have a feeling that could all change!

Welcome to the island, EFFIE! You been accepted as BRAMBLE ROSE with the faceclaim of Saoirse Ronan.

I do so enjoy a lovesick tragedy and oh how your app delivered on that front! Soulmates torn from one another too soon has always made me weak and is there anything more quintessential for the gothic horror genre? ‘Sometimes, she can even close her eyes and pretend that those gossamer messages aren’t said in fear or despair but with love. Little promises of a life that will never be’.  I cannot wait to read more of your beautiful writing!

Welcome to the island, EFFIE! You been accepted as CURLY with the faceclaim of Robert Sheehan.

Curly is such a fun mix of perceptive, creeping fear and an uncrushable will to survive. Your app for Curly positively trampled my heart in the best way possible! ‘It wasn't until Wendy left, taking the family he had with her that he saw just how cruel and thoughtless Peter could be. The winter that followed was unforgiving, but despite all the suffering it caused, he was grateful for the way it opened his eyes’. Also, your mixes for both Curly and Bramble Rose are freaking fantastic! I've been listening to them on repeat!

Welcome to the island, ILANA! You been accepted as AMARA THORNE with the faceclaim of Anya Chalotra.

We love to see a heroine forged from fire and hellbent on revenge! I’m already extremely invested in Amara with her longing for adventure, volatile anger, and survivor’s guilt. ‘Amara had lost the closest family she had ever known and once again found herself amongst strangers. Still reeling from the loss, Amara has had a difficult time opening up to the crew and finding her place, although she respects them all and is learning more about Neverland and its atrocities’. I wonder what she’ll make of the Jolly Roger’s crew and if they’ll become like a second family for her in time or not.

Welcome to the island, LIOT! You been accepted as LUCY with the faceclaim of Courtney Eaton.

Once again, I am in awe at how masterfully you can create an oc who feels so perfectly a part of this world! I’m so excited about the differences among Lucy, Echo, and Wendy. I believe that each of their counterbalances are going to make for some interesting plots. Lucy is a melancholic dream: ‘She does remember wishing there were more of her, where she came from, and she remembers her home being full of love and loneliness’. I’m eager to see how her dynamics shake out with everyone!

All important pages on the main will be updated in the next several minutes to reflect these acceptances. OC bios will be posted shortly as well. Roleplay will officially commence on January 1st after we’ve posted our our first mini plot-drop to establish our opening setting. Welcome to the group, everyone! We’re beyond excited to have you join us for all the chaotic glory and misery!

[dreamlostdogs]

Hello!

This August has been incredibly exciting for me, since it was on the 1st that I settled on a release date for Dreamlost Dogs! It’s a game that I have been developing for a little over a year and a half now, and while it is utterly terrifying to be sharing it with the world, I do feel like there is room in the gaming sphere for a very distinctly horrific canine tabletop experience, haha.

Read the game's summary + whole load more under the cut:

So, here’s the game’s summary:

Dreamlost Dogs is a surreal horror tabletop roleplaying game where the player characters are dogs. These dogs find themselves lost inside the Dream, an ominous and perilous realm where neither time nor place behave in natural ways. These dogs must find a way to escape the Dream before the nightmares take hold, changing them in irreversible, aberrant ways. Can you escape the Dream as a dog, or succumb to becoming a living nightmare?

In essence, it is a tabletop roleplaying game / board game hybrid, which can be played both solo as well as in a group, and as such, it does not require a game master! It is up to the players to decide how much they wish to roleplay in the game, and while immersion through roleplaying is recommended, it does also work as more of a board game experience. The game is print & play, meaning that it requires physical pieces for it to be played, but some parts of it will also be available digitally (since I do not expect people to be able to print out booklets, haha).

I have a week-by-week schedule for finishing the game by April 2024, and I will be making weekly update posts about how the game is coming along. For example, this month, I’ve got the following done in three week’s time:

– Setting up socials, Patreon, a website and a Discord server for the game – Added 12 random encounters – Added some side characters (this game’s equivalent of NPCs!) – Honed pre-existing mechanics – Did a whole bunch of worldbuilding / writing lore

I do also attend university and have a job, so my schedule is made in such a way that it will not overwhelm me. I’m confident that the game will be finished in time!

Going forward, in addition to giving quick weekly updates on the game, I will be posting more in-depth looks at the game’s development on Patreon and the Discord server (available to supporters). On the server I will also be hosting monthly sketch/art raffles, and possibly other benefits as I figure them out along the way! So being an early supporter has a higher chance of netting you some very cheap art, haha. If you are interested in that sort of a thing, check out my Patreon here!

If you have read all this way, damn, thank you for your time! If you have any questions, feel free to throw them my way in the comments! If not, expect to hear from me again next week, where I might also write a little post about myself too, so you know whose journey you will be in for, haha

Have a good one! – Fell

[tsintotwo]

(Part 2/4)

Second post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects (Part 1 here).

Remainder (2015)- Plot: Dude has an accident and is in a coma for months. Afterwards, he's forgotten a lot but weirdly, is remembering things that seem to have never happened. This dude is Tom. Now, I have to give it to the director- Tom has been shot GORGEOUSLY in this. The movie is slow at the start and honestly I was ready to happily treat and view this as a 2-hr modeling exercise feat. him. But things did get interesting, and I ended up kinda enjoying the movie. Tom's character gets slowly unhinged, and he portrays that so well. The voice, the attitude, the inevitable sexual tension- all of it had me mesmerized. He kisses a woman and a man. This 2nd kiss might just be, without any exaggeration, the hottest thing I've ever seen in my whole damn life. What's great about this is when he's kissing this man, it's not just like 'oh yeah sexy times!!1!' Basically his character had been trying to recreate a scenario (that happened with the 1st kiss) for months and with this man in this moment it's all come together- so he's ecstatic and almost delirious: that's the scene here. Idk how much the actors really got into this irl 'cause most of the kiss looks quite close-mouthed, but that matters zero per cent because HOLY FUCK they, esp. Tom, sell it like there's no tomorrow. He's just so. fuckin. INTENSE. I can swear to you right now: I will NEVER be over this. (Sorry for a longass kiss analysis; not tryna be pervy, it just really made an impact.)

Mary Shelley (2017)- Kissing husband in front of wife, flirting with said wife, making out with mistress, and then introducing everyone to his twink, all under a minute. Meet Lord Byron, ladies and gentlemen, a veritable chaotic devil. In the movie for, like, 15 mins, but Tom just rolls up and SETS THE HOUSE ON FIRE. Playing such an outrageous character, it might have been easy to make it a caricature. But Tom makes it believable, and you can kinda tell he's having fun with this. The effect is electrifying. Just, perfect casting.

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)- I'd watched the movie when it came out 'cause I'm into horror/thrillers, but the only thing I remembered is not particularly liking it. I did go and look at Tom's scenes again (who, until recently, I'd totally forgotten was in this movie). He plays a hipster art critic, complete with pretentious scarves. It's a small role, and unremarkable. He does what the job asks of him. There's no lasting impact. (Did he come into the movie 'cause he's friends with Jake Gyllenhaal?)

Sweetbitter (2019)- Series on Starz. New adult girl, Tess, comes to NY, starts working at a high-end restaurant. Falls for bartender Jake immediately. But he's childhood friends+ with two-faced queen B Simone who's very territorial about him. Tess gets close with both of them, and you just know there's a clusterfuck coming. Which we didn't actually see arrive because the show got cancelled after 2 seasons. I did mostly watch this- interesting enough, but riddled with problems. That aside, Tom plays Jake and I have to say this is the only time ever I've thought him less than perfect. The character is a walking NA instalovey-romance trope with near zero redeeming qualities, that's one thing. But a. Tom's American accent was off (which is weird 'cause he's pulled it off decently enough in other things), and b. (I feel like this is the showmakers' fault)- this character is supposed to be a thirst trap: broody asshole, a player with tattoos, a classic bad boy- and I KNOW Tom can do that, be that. And yet, he kind of... wasn't, 100%? The show just failed to present him that way, and it's SUCH a missed opportunity. I mean, dude's got the looks, the charisma, has done awfully well in bad news/lusty devil roles before. So what gives? Just, frustrating. The intimate scenes in the show are VERY nicely done tho. Worth watching just for seeing Tom fuckboy-shoving and kissing a girl against a wall tbh (A taste here)

Irma Vep (2022)- HBO show. Actress separates from actor husband after cheating on him with a woman, goes to France to film a remake of a classic movie called 'Irma Vep' and reflect on life and shit. Yeah, I wasn't gonna watch this. So, I watched the parts with Tom. He's the ex-husband, now on friendly terms with the MC. I loved him in this: something so natural about both when he's having a quiet, regretful convo with his ex wife and being playful and upbeat with his young new gf. There's this scene when he's hurting, goes to the MC for comfort, and they end up sleeping together. It was SO well done- hesitation, hurt, desire, wanting each other, but still really looking for comfort... masterful, from both actors (Tom with Alicia Vikander) and the director.

Bonus: See Wall/A Life (2019)- Two monologues from Tom (Sea Wall) and Jake Gyllenhaal (A Life) at Public Theatre and on Broadway. They both got Tony noms for Best Actor for this. It kills me that there's no way to see it now (check out the trailer on yt, you'll regret too), but there's an audiobook for this done by them on Audible which I got. I just love Tom's voice, okay? Love the way he speaks, even when he's not being Morpheus. And him telling me a 36 min story where he gets hyper and then quiet, excited and then devasted, is in love, is heartbroken- and I can replay it as many times as I want? Just, gimme. Any day, anytime. I'm so happy this exists.

That's it for this post. I've watched more stuff, so there will be a next installment.

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to the other members not liking their s/o (part 2)

❦ Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3K7.

❦ Requested: Omg yes lol, thank you! 🦋

❦ A/N Note: ⚠️Since I took an eternity to post it, I advice to read the first part again (or for the first time)! Thank you for liking the 1st one tho! hehe

HONGJOONG

It's been 3 weeks since your altercation with the boys. You didn't talk to your boyfriend yet and he was really sad. He was trying to call you every day at least once, but your phone rang one time and the voicemail welcomed him. You were the only one he wanted to talk with right now. And he wanted to fix this situation as well. "Hyung, do you want to play with-" started San, handing the console remote to him. Still angry at them, he didn't bother to glance or reply neither. He just slammed the door's room loudly. "Us." Finished San. "He's still mad." Declared Yeosang. "Congrats Genius. You found this deduction by yourself?" Asked San, ironically. Yeosang ignored his comment and took his phone. "Where's Y/N working already?" "I don't know. In a café or something." "Where?" "Itaewon." "Okay then put some pants on." "What? Why?" "Wow Sherlock." Replied Yeosang in the same tone San used later. "We are going to apologize to her. Hongjoong was obviously happier with her." "And he didn't have this serial killer look." "Let's go." Claimed Yeosang.

The 2 boys entered at least 16 cafés to find where you were working. They were about to give up when San spotted you, cleaning a table under the terrace. "Y/N! Y/N!" Yelled San, running crazily. You thought that you were dreaming when you saw these 2. It almost felt unreal since they never gave you attention. "What is happening? Are you guys, okay?" "We are really sorry Y/N." They both bowed respectfully. "We had wrong assumptions about you. We are really ashamed of ourselves." Continued Yeosang. "You were not taking advantage of Hongjoong Hyung. But in fact, you made him happier." You felt bad to know that your boyfriend was sad because of this situation. "It's okay..." you smiled nervously. "I guess that you wanted to protect him." Yeosang and San nodded. They were really sorry. "Lift your head boys. We are fine now." "There's a last person you need to be fine with." Added Yeosang. San and you stared at him weirdly. He pointed at the other side of the street, where Hongjoong was smiling at the warming scene. San, completely unaware of this plan, whispered to Yeosang: "how did you planned this? And when?" "You know how long you take to put a pant on?" "Are you a genius?" "Why are you surprised?" Replied Yeosang. While they were talking about their strategy, you asked your manager, 15 minutes break and ran to your boyfriend. His arms were open, waiting for you. "Mission accomplished." Declared San happily. "Congrats Partner."

SEONGHWA

Just when the rest of the group entered the room, Seonghwa was waiting for them with a wide smile. "What is going on? And why are you smiling like that?" Asked Wooyoung. "Yeah. It's scary." Whispered San. "Well boys..." he started. "We have a guest tonight." "A guest? Your mom?" Hongjoong freaked out a bit. Judging that it was the best moment to appear, you came out of the kitchen, an awkward smile on your face. "Hello." You waved nervously. You saw all of their faces darkened at the moment they saw you. "What is she doing here Hyung?" Asked Jongho. "She came here to talk and to arrange the situation." Replied Seonghwa. "But who said that we wanted to talk to her?" Sighed Mingi. "Guys." You tried to interpose, but Seonghwa stopped you. "Let's talk comfortably in the kitchen." He smiled. Even if the boys were reticent, they walked one by one to the kitchen. All of them, taking an empty seat, except San who decided to seat on the counter. Seonghwa and you sat at the end of the table like 2 serial killers waiting for the justice. "I wanted to know why you hate Y/N so much." Started Seonghwa. "I'm sorry if I did something bad." You apologized. "But I would appreciate if you were honest with me instead of being so cold." "How are we supposed to act with you when we know you are just taking advantage of him?" Asked Hongjoong. Seonghwa raised a brow, "taking advantage of me?" "Yeah. She appeared right when we were rising in the charts and stuff like that." You stared at Seonghwa, who was still looking at you. You both busted in laughter. "They thought you were the one asking me out." Laughed Seonghwa. All the boys were confused. "I was the one insisting to date her. I was practically stalking her." "Creep." You whispered. "She had like no interest in me." "Yeah. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Rien. Nieten. Que Tchi. Walou.*" You added. "Hey." "Sorry." "So, you are telling us that we were wrong since-" "The beginning." "She was my prey. And I was the hunter." Smirked your boyfriend. "Seems like we had a misunderstood." Admitted Hongjoong. "Yeah. Seems like." "Can you be friendly with Y/N now?" They all nodded and apologized once again. "Cool! Now should we goo at the restaurant?" "Heck yeah! I could eat a whole bear!" Claimed Yunho. "Babe, do you want to come?" "Yeah sure." You finally accepted, not scared anymore to ruin the mood.

*Nada, Rien, Nieten, Que tchi, Walou: expression to say “nothing” in severals languages.

YUNHO

Your boyfriend was feeling down. He was working for his first k-dramas. he should be happy and in a good mood. But instead, he was simply acting well in front of the cameras and was almost depressed backstage. It wasn't right and you didn't like this at all. The rest of the members were trying to talk to him. In vain, he was simply ignoring them or spending most of the time at your apartment. This behavior would not help to solve this situation. Removing all of your bad thoughts, you planned a quick visit to the other members; especially Mingi and Wooyoung. ["What are you doing today babe?"] You sent a text to your boyfriend, praying that his schedule hasn't changed. ["I'm filming. My break is over in 10 minutes :(. Do you miss me?"] He replied. ["Always haha. Have fun filming too."] Now that you were sure that Yunho won't interfere in your plan, you paid your taxi and get straight to the building. You decided to use the stairs so you wouldn't have more time to think of a strategy. Just right when you entered the hallway, Wooyoung and Mingi were closing the door. For a quick second, the thought of running away settled in your mind. But Yunho's health and spirit were the most important things right now. "Hi." You greeted them. "Hello?" Started Mingi. "Yunho isn't there, he's-" "I came to talk with both of you actually." You said. "Yunho explained what happened 2 weeks ago." "Yeah sure." Growled Wooyoung. "I think it would be easier for us to get along if you tell me what is going on. What did I do wrong?" You asked. "We know you with another guy." Declared Mingi. "And you seemed close enough to hug for at least 2 long minutes." "Listen Y/N, we just don't want Yunho to suffer so we didn't tell him yet that you were seeing someone else." "Are you talking about this tall guy, with a lot of tattoos?" You raised a brow. They both nodded, reminding exactly every detail. "That's my cousin. He moved in Mexico. For his work. So yeah." You sighed. "I hug my family." Wooyoung and Mingi were looking at you dumbly. "Well... what a useless situation." You admitted. Wooyoung ran his hand through his hair and stepped forward you. "I guess you deserve apologies." "Instead of this, can we make a deal?" You offered. "Sure." "Let's get along." You handed both of your hands to each of them." "Deal." Mingi shook your hand, quickly followed by Wooyoung. Before leaving, you asked one last thing.

["Guess who's going to have a dinner with us tomorrow?"] Yunho instantly called you, wondering how you managed to take a selfie with his friends. ["I'm so happy that I could combust right now! How you managed to do this!"] ["Anything for my man!"]

YEOSANG

"Yeosang wait!" You followed him in the hallway. "I want to be alone for now." He replied, opening an empty backstage room. "But you just can't run away like that!" You held his wrist. "Y/N." "We can fix this. Or just at least try to live without them hating me." "I do not think they are ready to do that." Yeosang gently pushed your hand and entered the dark room. Before you could say anything else, he slammed the door in front of you. A quick and loud noise made you realize that he locked the door. Knowing that being loud or begging your boyfriend to open wouldn't help, you decided to fix the problem by yourself. "Okay! If you prefer to stay here and hide, then FINE! I'll handle it!" You gave a quick kick on the door and walked back on your previous step. "What a baby..." Without knocking, you opened ATEEZ' backstage room. They were all gathered around Hongjoong, probably claiming how much they hate you. "I have many things to say guys." You started. "And one by one." They were all looking at you as an alien who just came from another planet. "I'll start by you Kim Hongjoong! As a leader, you should be comprehensive and try to fix things which could hurt any members!" "Y-Y/N." "And you Park Seonghwa! Yeosang told me that you were the nicest here, but I only saw a rude and cold guy! I'm really disappointed." "Please-" "Yunho and Mingi." You sighed, putting your hands over your hips. "You were the first one who were nice with me. But something made you change your mind and you both kept hurting my feeling. Especially when you leave every room I enter." You said angrily. Both of them bent their head, feeling guilty. "Oh, and this trio!" You pointed at San, Wooyoung and Jongho. "I would appreciate if you could stop looking at me like you are looking at a trash. Surprise! It hurts my feelings too! Because YEAH! I have feelings!" You almost screamed. "So, tell me NOW, why you hate me so DAMN MUCH?!" A long silence settled after your monologue. The boys were looking at each other, waiting for one to talk. Hongjoong as a good leader, stepped forward. "We are sorry Y/N." They all bowed to you. You had no idea that your words would affect them that much. "Ah... Huh-Okay." You scratched your arm. "After Yeosang quick departure, we talked a bit about our behavior, and we concluded that we have zero reason to dislike you." Explained Hongjoong. "Let's trying to get along." Said Hongjoong. "For Yeosang." You accepted. "It might be hard for us because you were really not into our heart." Added Seonghwa. "Yeah, don't worry y'all made it clear." "But if you are important to Yeosang, then you are important for us." He said, smiling warmly. "Thank you. I truly appreciate that." You bowed back politely. "Now we just need to get Yeosang out of the room."

SAN

Seongwa entered the kitchen. He was surprised to see San and Wooyoung actually sitting at the same table. San was eating his cereal and Wooyoung was scrolling on his phone. It almost felt like a random and good day. Until Seonghwa asked: "You are finally getting along again? It's a good thing!" San sighed, "why should I get alone with this guy?" "Oh no..." "Just ignore me like you used to do. I'm fine with it." Said Wooyoung, rolling his eyes. "Okay, I should have stayed quiet." Whispered Seonghwa. "Exactly like him. He should have shut his mouth." Replied San, leaving the room, bowl in his hand. "I said that to help you!" He shouted. "Jung Wooyoung." Called Seonghwa seriously. "You should fix it." "Me? Why? It's him which was dating this girl! And you weren't liking her too, right?" "Yeah, but have you seen San these days? He's barely smiling or talking to us." He replied. "You need to fix this. And today." "Today?! Hyung! Come on." Growled Wooyooung. "Not my problem." Honestly, this task wasn't helping Wooyoung to like you, but he needed to do or at least try something for his friend.

That's why, now, he was waiting at the restaurant next to your college. You said that you would show up, but he wasn't sure about that. Until, you sat, in front of him. "Hello?" He greeted you. "Hi." "Okay... I'll be totally sincere and straightforward with you." "As you always do." Wooyoung was surprised by your attitude. But in a good way. "I don't like you because I'm pretty sure you take advantage of my friend." You sneered. "How many times do I need to tell you that I don't give- that I don't care about his career." "What if he was an employee or a technician?" Asked Wooyoung. "Do you date people for their image? I'm not like that. I don't date him because he's an idol. I just love him. For his personality, his kindness. Everything that made San, our San." "You love him?" Said Wooyoung, surprised. "Yeah, of course I do." I thought it wasn't serious at all yet." "Well maybe if you tried to talk more and sooner with him or me, you'll know." "If you us to get along, you should be nicer." "And you, less rude." Wooyoung rubbed his forehead. You were stubborn as him. "How can we get along?" "Are you free right now?" "Huh, yeah?" "Cool. Let's hanging out without beating each other." You offered. "A-Are you sure it's a good idea?" He asked, not convinced. "Well, San, always says that people get closer around-" "A good meal." Finished Wooyoung. "Cool then let me call the waiter." You paused. "But you pay." "Argh... this woman." Sighed Wooyoung.

MINGI

Hongjoong sighed when he saw Mingi, eyes glued on his phone. It's been 2 weeks and still no sign of you. You declined all of his calls, ignored his messages even on social media and obviously you were not sleeping in your apartment anymore. "Mingi, your view is going to be terrible if you don't leave this damn phone." Scolded Hongjoong. The tall boy gave him a dark look. "My view would be fine if you've learned Y/N better. Instead of judging her." Seonghwa growled next do the leader. "Here we go again." Mingi rolled his eyes, still pissed by this behavior. "Yeah, here we go again." He repeated. "It will be like that until Y/N accept to talk to me again. Or just listen to me." "Why does it matter so much?" Asked Seonghwa. "Because she's the one. Why? I don't know. I just feel it. She's the only one I need." Hongjoong and Seonghwa exchanged a quick, guilty glance. "Y'all decided that she wasn't made for me because of a stupid "instinct". Mingi air quoted. "We are trying to help you. We know how sensitive you are." Declared Hongjoong. "Then why do you need to put me in this situation? You are the only ones who are hurting me right now." He finished, plopping angrily on the sofa. The 2 boys remained quiet for a second, looking at each other. Finally, Seonghwa asked: "Okay so how can we help you?" Mingi smirked, when he finally heard those magical worlds. It was exactly what he wanted since these past weeks. "Okay call everyone here." He ordered.

You were sadly applying your night cream on your face. Since your break-up with Mingi, your skin decided to be terrible dry and itchy. You were the worst. Tired of this situation, you buried your face on your arms. You shivered a little when your forehead touched the cold surface. "It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby I think I wanna marry you!"* You didn't need to hear it twice to recognize Mingi's voice. Not believing that he did something like this, you rushed to the window. At your big surprise, he wasn't alone. The other members were there too: Hongjoong was holding the phone and speaker, while the rest of the group was holding a sheet of paper saying, "Can you forgive us?" But Yeosang was holding the quote mark in the wrong side. "Song Mingi! Are you crazy!" "Crazy of you!" The members gagged behind him. "We all want to apologize for treating you this way." Claimed Yunho, louder than the music. You were affected by this effort. They all realized that you were not a bad person. "If you accept our apologies than come here so we can have a discussion." Declared Seonghwa, speaking for the whole group. "Got it, I'm coming. Do y'all need snacks?" They all yelled and shouted an incredible about of snacks' brands in only few seconds. Mingi winked at you. Your kindness got them. And food too.

*Song reference: Marry You by Bruno Mars.

WOOYOUNG

Your roommate entered the library again. She couldn't help but to let out a quick sigh when she saw you: your head buried behind a ton of books, which didn't seem interesting. "You didn't move since I left this morning." She sat in front of you. "I need to pass this exam." "You could have at least answered to your phone. I wanted to have a lunch with you." "I forgot my phone." You shrugged. "Did you really forget your phone?" She raised a brow. "Or you made sure to let it on your bed? To avoid texting Wooyoung?" "Study is the only thing that keep me away from my problems." You sighed. "You should confront your problems." Advised your roommate. "I can't. Nobody can force someone to like them." "It's not true. You can do it." She replied. "Meg...." you rubbed your nose. "Even if I want to. I can't." Your roommate opened her mouth to prove you the opposite, but finally she decided to stay quiet and open her books instead. This silence lasted only 30 minutes before someone tapped your shoulders. "Ye- Yunho?!" You freaked out. "Hi." He scratched his head, embarrassed. "Is everything okay? Wooyoung is sick? And how did you manage to find me?" "I'll let you talk in peace. I have my science lesson anyway." Said Megan, burying her books in her bag, before leaving." "See you later Y/N." "Is everything okay?" You repeated. "Yeah, don't worry. Wooyoung is fine." You sighed in relief. "Fine but sad though. He's missing you." "I do too but... I don't want to interfere with his career. I got it. It's important for you and the rest of the members as well." You claimed, sadly. "It is. But we only thought about the group and our success." He added. "It's a complete selfish behavior." "It's okay." You smiled nervously. "You wanted the best for the group." "I can understand if you don't want to forgive us, but we are truly sorry." "For Wooyoung, we should try to get along. And to find the right way to move on." Yunho nodded, happy that you didn't plan a revenge. "So... you are the one who decided to come here? So brave." "Hm... honestly, we are all here except Wooyoung. But I'm the only one who succeeded to jump the gate. "W-Who what?" "If you hear security guard running here than we should run too." "The heck-"

JONGHO

"I can't believe we hide ourselves for 3 hours now." You complained, shoving your hand in a pack of candies. "What do you want to do? Confront them?" You raised a brow, "yeah! We should." "Come on Y/N, we don't even know why they don't like you." "That's why we should open the door, enter the living-room and ask all of them." Jongho sighed, "Y/N." "Jongho." A long eye-contact battle started between both of you. The one who is going to blink will be the winner. "I won't give up." You said. "And I won't give up too." Your eyes started to feel dry and itchy when a loud knock resonated in the whole room. "Jongho, Y/N. Come in the living room please." Requested Yunho." Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time. Your boyfriend gulped and your hands became moist. "We are coming Hyung." Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time. "Why do you want to talk about?" Asked Hongjoong, sitting next to the coffee table. "You asked if we had a particular hate toward Y/N." Replied San. "And yeah, a bit." "At least that's straightforward." You whispered. "Can I know why?" "Well, you made Jongho cry just after 5 days of relationship." The maknae facepalmed and blushed at the same time. "I what? You cried?!" You looked at your boyfriend shocked. "Yeah... it was our first argument. You were really really really mad, and I was so nervous! I was having a mental breakdown and it just happened." He explained. "Only 5 days of relationship." Repeated Yeosang. "So how he would be after 2 years? Depressed?" "Argh no! Of course not. And that's not my intention." You tried to justify yourself. "And an argument is normal for a couple..." "Even after 5 days?" "Seonghwa Hyung..." whispered Jongho. "Yes, it is!" You raised your voice. "You'll understand when you'll get someone in your life." "Y/N." Called Jongho. "I really like Jongho. I don't want to hurt him." You started. "Yes, we have arguments, yes, we cry, yes we ghost each other for few hours or even days. BUT! We will always be going through it." You held Jongho's hand in yours. "Right?" He nodded, completely agreeing with you. "So... I know y'all won’t change your mind instantly, but I'm ready to wait that you give me a chance." You stood up. "here are you going?" Asked Jongho. "Going back home. Maybe you should have a talk with them. "Yeah. We need to gather and explain this situation." Acquiesced Jongho. "See." You winked. "I'll come back tomorrow don't worry." "Okay then." "Thank you for having a talk with us." You thanked the boys. "I really hope you can see me as someone who only wants Jongho's happiness." "We do." Smiled Wooyoung.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter I | Raul Mendes

                                           *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Helloo, this is the first chapter of this series and I'm super excited about it. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. I plan on posting a chapter weekly, which means new chapter every Thursday (and maybe a sneak peak every monday). Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like it as much as I did. I'll stop rambling now, byee. Happy Reading!

                                                     masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 3.4K+;

*Warnings:  cursing, descriptions of violence, blood, injuries, hostage situation and a whole lot of teasing. Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 1st, 2021.

                                                     -*-

Raul Mendes was a pain in the ass. Y/N loves him way too much for her own good, but he was a pain in the nonetheless. 

He was the only person she knew who could be in a possible life-or-death situation and still make fun of her through their communicators. And sure, that made the whole thing lighter and less scary, and sure, he was the best agent she’s ever met, but damn did he get on her nerves. And Raul always knew how to get her frustrated or squirming, he enjoyed it more than he was willing to admit. Sure, they’ve been friends for a long time and she should be used to him, but it never got easier. The fact he had a killer smile, the looks of a legit greek god and had this whole tough guy exterior, but secretly had a soft spot for her did not make her case any less complicated.

Y/N and Raul knew each other ever since they’re basically born. Their parents met when they worked together at a company of secret agents, it was only a small corporation back then, and they were known as the best agents at the time. After they retired from field missions and eventually desk jobs, they became only advisers and emergency contacts. But despite that, they kept their friendship going though all the years and that’s how Y/N was introduced to the triplets. They’re always together, doing everything with each other and protecting themselves. And of course she loved Peter and Shawn with her whole heart, they’re like family to her, but Raul was different. Y/N wished it wasn’t, but there are certain things in life you can’t exactly control. Like falling in love with your best friend.

And it’s not like she stood a chance, to be honest. Regardless of his looks, he treated her like she hung the moon and stars on the sky. Sure, he was a tough guy, who rode motorcycles and wore leather jackets, and wouldn’t admit alive that he cried while watching Lion King. But he took care of her when she was upset or having a bad period, he would take her driving around town at midnight on random occasions just because he knew it would make her feel better, and would always be so mindful of everything involving her. And yeah, he teased her endlessly, but it was part of it and in reality, Y/N didn’t mind it that much. 

So when they started growing older and decided to follow their parents career, it only made sense they trained their asses off and got the job together. The company their parents worked for grew a lot, a team that was originally formed by 15 agents turned into a massive business, with over 100 employees, doing various functions. Shawn was picked for a more diplomatic field, always in meetings with important people and traveling around the world. Peter became a tech engineer, developing the coolest gadgets and weapons imaginable, something out of Totally Spies! Raul was clearly a field agent, an expert on body combat and weapons, best out of the four when it came to their physical test. And Y/N was the one who guided the operations, the hacker and responsible for strategies, also for the tech part and best sniper out of the three of them. 

That made her and Raul an unbeatable team and the best duo ever. Their chemistry on the field was recognized by their bosses on the first week, basically glueing them together for every future mission and it worked. For the company. But it only dug her little crush deeper on Y/N’s heart. And obviously no one knew it. She was a spy for fucks sake, she knew how to lie and she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. Raul didn’t date, working on this field made  everyone’s love life a bit harder than it was already, and he never seemed interested enough in anyone with the same career to have a long lasting relationship with. That didn’t mean there where a lot of people interested, which made Y/N’s heart twist in her chest. 

“Sweetheart, you still with me?” Raul’s voice came through her earpiece bringing her back to reality.

“Of course I am, you idiot, I take this job really seriously” Y/N replied rolling her eyes as if she didn’t just daydreamed a bit. 

“Oh sorry, doll, didn’t mean to insult you hard working” he chuckled “but could you please check in the corridor number 6, half the team is heading down there right now”

“Sure” she quickly typed on her computer changing cameras really quickly, perks of being Peter’s best friend is that she could usually take extra stuff and the newest gadgets on the market “It’s clear and, by the way, you look pathetic with this glasses”

Raul laughed clearly amused, throwing his middle finger up in the air in the direction of the security camera he found “Oh really? Tell that to Peter, he’s the one who created them” 

“Technically their still a prototype, so make sure to let him know”

Raul scoffed playfully as he climbed another set of stairs, the man and woman with him following without questioning, used to his ways of leading “Of course, I’m sure he’ll like to hear your fashion critiques to his million dollar glasses”

“I’ll write it down, now careful, you’re approaching the level where they’re at”

“Sure, mom, I’m always careful” he said in a hushed tone signaling to his teammates to keep quiet and try to find the possible security team they left to watch the hostage.

“Shut up” Y/N said trying to hold back the smile from stretching her lips, already letting the airway team know to be ready to pick them up as they approached their target. 

They’re currently in the middle of a mission where they needed to recover another agent who got caught up in an ambush two weeks ago, and now they’re being kept as a hostage. Raul’s leading a team to retrieve the agent as quickly and as silently as they could, two with him and three other on the opposite side to meet halfway. All that while Y/N’s on the under construction building across the street seated among her gear, gun in hand following their every step and guiding them through the camera system and the big windows that other building had. It’s not the worst mission they’ve ever been, no apparent violence or blood bath, just a simple rescue mission, but they still felt a little jittery and always worried about each other’s lives. And through the years, they noticed that their copying mechanism to make this less stressful (at least a tiny bit) was through light banter and jokes. That somehow brought a bit of normality to their very non ordinary job. 

Y/N did her best to keep them hidden while they crashed into the building as quietly as possible, trying go unnoticeable since they didn’t have enough munition or people on the tactic team. It would also prevent them from moving the target around or opening fire. And despite the fact Raul kept on trying to joke around and that she’s been doing this for at least four years, the fact that they’re working with a less experienced and fresh out of the academy crew made her a little jittery. Not that she didn’t trust Raul to command everything and boss everyone around if things got messy, she just didn’t want him to get in the middle of a crossfire again. 

He had the terrible habit of playing the hero in the most inconvenient times, like when they were little and a guy twice his size, with three friends mocked her pigtails. He didn’t stand a chance, but he went after them anyway. They ended up having to run as fast as they could so they wouldn’t end up with a black eye or something. And that was nothing compared to the stupid shit he could do on field. And Y/N couldn’t be more pissed whenever he came home with more bruises then he should just to play Superman or something. Sure, that was admirable and the fact that he put everyone on his team on his top priority was definitely something fantastic for a captain, but not for Y/N’s heart. 

And for that reason, she was always extra careful, but when he had a newbie joining him on the field, Y/N tripled the attention to avoid putting the kid in danger, and, consequently her best friend. 

Raul was quick to take down two man on their level without raising much alarm, grabbing their munition, dragging the unconscious bodies away from where they’d be easily seen and moving forward to another set of stairs. He was a very skillful agent, with great physical development and worked great under pressure, with quick thinking and a natural leader. So it didn’t shock her when he was able to do that as if it was the most natural thing in the planet. While Raul was more of a passionate person, Y/N was more rational, was analyzing every possibility and coming up with creative solution, she was also really cold on work (she just had one exception) and was a quick thinker, great person to rely on. It’s almost as if the complimented each other and that’s why it worked. That’s why when she tells him to shoot, he does without thinking, or to jump, he wouldn’t blink before doing it head first. 

And that’s why they’re able to reach the hostage without much trouble. 

“Told you to chill out, I knew we could make it” he murmured through their coms and she giggled, shaking her head incredulously.

“You should watch the entrances while your teammates take care of the hostage”

“That’s why I have you, sweetheart” he said with his infamous smirk stretching his annoyingly pink lips.

Y/N shook her head when she felt her face warming up a bit, stupid boy “Well, actually I’m pretty busy calling for our ride, so watch your own back this time, you’re a big boy, I’m sure you can do it”

Raul scoffed but did as she say either way “fine, are we clear?”

“On your floor yes, climb three more levels and meet me on this side of the street, don’t stall champ, they’re going to notice there’s something wrong with the cameras and their man who aren’t responding, so be quick”

Raul chuckled as he helped balance the hostage on Roman’s arms and signaling them to climb the stairs again “Yes, ma’am, anything to keep you from frowning and scolding my ass”

Y/N rolled her eyes smiling, sighing in relief that half of their mission was done and it went as smoothly as it could have been “Great, now get your ass out of there now, Raul” 

The tactic team started moving to the floor they’d have access to jump, and everything was going too smoothly to be true, not even a minor inconvenience. And that was not normal, at all. That’s when Y/N started getting worried. 

Everything was great until Seth, from loosing a lot of blood and being severely dehydrated, started loosing his conscious, making Roman’s job a lot more complicated and making everyone move slower. And while that was happening, Y/N saw when one of the guys saw his partners laying limply on the corner of a hallway and finally the pieces clicked. Luckily she was able to caught it quickly enough to be able to mess up their coms, so instead of a dozen men, they’d have to deal with two. She was also quick to let Raul know, so he jumped into action, telling everyone to rush and grabbing Seth’s right side, basically carrying him alongside Roman up the stairwell. 

But as they’re almost reaching the door, Raul heard footsteps rather close, rushing Roman up the rest of the way, warning he’d be right behind him, that he was only to be a bit far back so he could hold whoever was coming. 

He ran downstairs, quickly blocking the door to the staircase with a fire extinguisher, running all the way upstairs to reach his teammates and jump to go home. But as he had just reached the door, his colleagues waiting for him with their gear (and also his) ready to cross to the other building, he felt the barrel of a gun touching the back of his head. Raul raised his hands in surrender, his teammates staring at him with horror in their eyes as they aimed their guns to whoever was behind him, but he knew they couldn’t do much before he got shot. He also knew they’re too young, apart from Roman and Cara, who were both holding Seth up, they weren’t experienced enough to do something like that. But before the person could pull the trigger, they grunted in pain and Raul felt the barrel slipping away. 

He turned around to watch the guy on his back in the floor, clutching to his left ribs, a little pool of blood already forming underneath him and gun long forgotten. Raul looked around to see if it was anyone from this guy’s side or anyone on the stairs, only to be met with silence and a single security camera with the green dot on, meaning Y/N was still in their system. He shook his head in disbelief, dragging the whining man outside of the room, quacking his gun down the stairs and managing to lock the door so they could escape safely. 

“Still with me, baby?” Y/N’s voice teased mimicking the way he said it earlier. 

Raul shook his head with a smirk on his lips, before moving to where his teammates stood still a bit shocked with all that happened in front of them “Wouldn’t dream of leaving you, sweetheart”

“Alright boys, the helicopters are coming for us, meet you all on the roof in three” Y/N said through the coms for the whole team, quickly shifting to a line only the captain, Raul, could hear “and if you dare be late just to make a big entrance or another dramatic scheme you can think about, I swear to God I’ll leave you behind”

“You wouldn’t dare”

“Try me” Y/N sing sang picking up her stuff and quickly shoving them down in her backpack, gathering the rest in her hands before turning around to climb to the rooftop. 

As she climbed the last set of stairs, Y/N saw their helicopters approaching as the seven agents she was waiting for used a special gun to shoot a line to her building, before locking them in place before zip-lining their way to meet her. She helped Seth, the agent that was kept hostage climb up the little wall since he was in a pretty bad shape, throwing his arm across her shoulders and basically dragging him to where they thrown the stair to climb up to the helicopter with the medical team waiting for him. Cara and Roman climbed first since they’re going to report what they saw and assist Seth as best as they could. Roman grabbed him and the rope stair, shouting to pull them up so he could be taken care of. 

Raul was the last one to arrive, as always staying behind to insure everyone got there safely and no one would try to kill them or anything. He graciously climbed the all as if it was nothing, pulling the gun from the string and cutting it so no one could follow them up there that quickly. Raul told everyone to climb onto the helicopter and they’re quick to follow his order, only one person stubbornly waiting for him, as always. He held back the relieved smile from stretching across his features, noticing how warm and relaxed he felt only by seeing Y/N standing besides the hope ladder. She looked worried, a frown on her beautiful face and Raul wanted to smooth his fingers over it as if it would ease all of her troubles away.

She nodded as soon as he was close enough, Raul being quick to pick up the heavy backpack she was carrying and leaving the rest to her “Are you okay?”

“What? Of course, Why do you ask?” he knew why she was asking, hell, his heartbeat was still a bit too fast to be normal, and yeah, partially was because he was standing in front of Y/N, but on the other hand he almost got killed. She only arched her brow at him and he sighed in defeat “Of course I am, doll, you know me, I’m always okay” 

“That’s what’s scares me the most” she said with a sad chuckle and started climbing the rope ladder to the helicopter and Raul was quick to follow behind.

“Dude, that was insane, I can’t believe you didn’t miss or accidentally shot Raul from across the street!” the youngest guy from the mission shouted as soon as they reached them on the vehicle, Raul closing the door behind them. 

Y/N only giggled in response “yeah, a bit crazy, isn’t it?”

“That’s because she’s the best, Tommy, but she won’t believe it” Raul said as he sat on one of the vacant seats, waiting for her to join him. 

“Oh shut it” she said unable to stop the smile from forming.

They kept on talking about the mission for a while, Tommy and the other two kids who recently joined still high from the adrenaline, but Y/N couldn’t be more worn out and Raul was quick to catch it. He leaned closer to her and she automatically laid her head on his shoulder, a movement that was almost mechanic to both of them. He gently grabbed her hand that was placed on her knee and interlaced their fingers together, letting her play with his hand to pass the time. 

Y/N sighed and mumbled after a while, when most of the kids were too distracted to pay attention “Are you really okay? Don’t say that you’re always fine, I mean it”

Raul had mastered the art of the poker face. He could easily be having the worst time of his life, but he would never let it showcase always with a quick sarcastic remark and an easy smirk on his lips, ready to flirt with anyone to distract them from the real problem. Raul was not the best when dealing with feelings and emotions, always thought it was easier to push them away, but Y/N saw right through him. She always did, ever since they were little. After that, he never tried to hide it again from her, always being as honest as he could with her about how he was, and obviously it didn’t always work, but she understood and respected it. It’s not like he needed to say anything for her to know. 

But at the same time, she didn’t know that he would always be fine, as long as she was safe and right next to him, the rest didn’t matter. 

“I promise you I’m fine, you saved my beautiful ass and we’re going home, I’d say we’re fantastic” he said after a while, pressing a long kiss to the back of their laced hands. 

That seemed to be enough to convince Y/N, since she huffed through her nose and let out a tiny giggle, before leaning closer to him and Raul took it as a sign to drape his arm over her shoulder pulling her closer to his chest “your beautiful ass is really annoying, you know that, right?”

“Oh, I do, but you love it anyway” he said with a giggle, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, as she just showed him her middle finger, making him laugh even more. 

Yeah, he was definitely fine. For now. 

                                                     -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[reddeadreference]

Blog Progress Update (Travel Blog Style? #16)

I forgot to shave before passing out in the street… damn it.. 

Also I love (and hate) the idea that this guy just found me in the street and decided to DRAG me to the doctors (or maybe he just dragged me out of the middle of the road… cause he does try to get Arthur to wake up and the doc isn't far from where we fell over)

"Not good news" Yep here come the water works.

I made a gif, i’m sure there’s a bunch of these out there of this but I made one anyway..

I'm sure the game didn't think I would actually choose to leave the horses after taking the canoe up river and actually WALK all the way to the cave judging by how Arthur and Charles were yelling despite walking a foot apart. 

But guess what game, I just needed to take a long walk through spooky woods with my boy, the only guy (okay one of two cause John counts but he's not here right now) that has my damn back in this damn camp. 

It was actually rather relaxing… if I didn't think about where we're going or where we were or the fact that Arthur is DYING (I'm not okay)

Damn it the last mission in chapter 5 is just full of so many "oh shit" moments where I remember or hear a line that reminds me what's about to happen. Bringing Meredith home I almost started crying, hearing Molly I had to pause and take breath first… this game is so well done to provoke emotions like this even after years and knowing what’s coming

Oof and the music "I did… I told them!" And the music just gets so much darker and dramatic and UGH I don't like this pain. Yelling at my screen "no she didn't! She's drunk! Susan no!!!" DX but fuck man… she's so heartbroken she's lying so he'll shoot her and/or she's lying cause she knows it'll hurt him cause he’s hurt her… I hate it. 

The fact that Molly didn't get a fucking grave and that they didn't bury her but burned her… I know they didn't know… but she deserved better… and the fact that the chapter screen pops up on that image…

Chapter 6: loads in

Me: I hate it here...

Dutch is giving a speech… does he even realize NO ONE is looking at him. Like for his other speeches he had people stop and turn to look or walk over to listen… I think everyone has realized his speeches are just the same. He'd throw himself in the ground in their stead. Yeah, we got it Dutch…

Basically saying pick his side… dude there shouldn't be sides in the first place. You're a self fulfilling prophecy my man… 

Also seeing how the list in my “people” folder for camp stuff keeps getting shorter just HURTS

I am excited about doing Bronte's house's post. Dude has his fucking initials on his damn wallpaper xD

I think you can go inside it in Red Dead Online so I might go back for some more photos (it was very annoying to angle the shots I did take so bodies weren't in frame) if not I can just replay the mission.

Might have to see if I can go into the Mayor's house too cause the party doesn't really let you wander in there unless Luca is with you or you're sneaking

Apparently you have to use a wagon to get to the second floor then go through a window… well this’ll be interesting… just hope I don’t get a session with a lot of players in Saint Denis… ugh I wish it was like GTA V online where you have private lobbies. I hate going onto RDO alone cause I always run into assholes who just wanna kill npcs and players for fun. Well, I will ‘document’ my online adventure as Evangeline (my online OC) who looks like Ciri from Witcher 3 and her Missouri fox trotter Trevor.

Well I found a wagon immediately but it had an open back so i couldn’t climb onto it… now i’m waiting on the either side of a bridge for a good wagon… If i had a trader wagon that might work but I don't… wait... O_O Target acquired.

*Hacker voice* I’m in.

Obviously these photos won’t be as clear cause I can’t turn off blur on the 1st person view thing… Gonna do the same kinda thing I did with the Braithwaite manor post where there is a lil mini map to show which room it is. Gonna make a separate post for the garden in back… and honestly… probably have to make a separate post for each floor… I took a lot of photos...

So yeah that might be the next thing to come out cause I really wanna get that up.

[1358456]

Pokemon Yellow Exploration Run Part 2

Back for more. These don’t take that much time, but I want to take breaks in between so I can do other things. And now that I have done other things, such as... eating and doing the dishes and all that fun stuff... part 2!

Wandering through Silph Co because I was lost, and... wait. You actually use the Pokedex for that kind of thing? You stupid schmuck. Here you are, filling its pages like a damn nerd, and here I am, doing all I can to skip as much as possible.

Well, I have beaten the First Chairman a second time at Silph Co, and... the Gym is still locked. Well, well. So either I need all 7 Badges, or just the 7th Badge. We shall see.

Hmm. I only have 2 Badges right now. So how do I skip everything else and go get the 7th? The 7th Gym is on Cinnabar Island, which is... an island (gasp). That requires Surf. In order to USE Surf outside of battle, I need to beat Koga, the 5th Gym Leader. Hmm. If only I could WALK THROUGH WALLS.

Fortunately, I partially remember how to do that. By doing the Glitch City trick in the Safari Zone, but timing it right so that the outside-world’s 500th step is taken while I’m jumping over a ledge.

... Okay, I also need exactly 1 Pokemon in the party, and that thing needs to be poisoned. And when I have all that stuff ready...

The PA goes off as I’m in the air, and...

I am flying... for a good second before I land right after the dialogue.

Except now, I have no collision detection. The glitch wears off if I go through a door (as it loads a new cell), so I can’t leave the building. ... Which is why I needed one Pokemon in the party, and that thing needed to be poisoned.

So when that thing dies (Subject Beta: the Dratini I caught in Safari Zone), I warp to the Pokemon Center without going through a door.

And retain “noclip”.

In that Joy Run post I made years ago, I said that I shall be walking through walls. And so here I am. Walking through walls.

Surf is for pansies.

I can technically go after Mewtwo right now, since I can clip through the guy blocking me. But, that’s a doorway so the moment I enter a new cell, the glitch wears off. And I actually need Surf inside. So... damn. I’ll have to pass. But I CAN go for Mewtwo the moment I have access to Surf. Interesting... I mean, I don’t need Mewtwo when I have Mew, but... you know. Possibilities.

I have now walked to Cinnabar Island. Yes. Walked. I am here with only 2 Badges! Now to take on Blaine! What could go wrong?!

Looks like this piece of steaming hot garbage is pissed that I stuffed it in a box.

Now, there is a bit of an... inconvenience. So, I walked to Cinnabar Island. The glitch wore off since I had to enter interior cells, so I can no longer phase through stuff. So the problem is... how do I get OFF the island? USUALLY, you’d have the ability to use Fly or Surf. Fly requires beating Lt. Surge. Surf requires beating Koga. I have done neither. I have both HMs, but... I can’t use them. Solution: Abra’s Teleport. Problem: it only sends me to the LAST USED POKEMON CENTER. So if I heal at Cinnabar Island’s Pokemon Center, I’m permanently stuck. And unlike GSC and onwards, depositing in a box doesn’t heal. ... Uh oh. Good thing I didn’t heal at Cinnabar Island... Now I absolutely have to avoid fighting EVERYONE in this Gym and go straight for Blaine or I’ll run out of PP and be f*cked.

This was far too close for comfort. Good thing it doesn’t have Extremespeed!

And now, the proof. I have the 1st, 2nd, and 7th Gym Badges, and nothing else. And unfortunately, it seems that Giovanni doesn’t open the Gym until I have all 7. Aww. Oh well. At least I got my answer. And I also got my answer that I indeed can beat Gyms 3 through 7 in ANY ORDER I DESIRE.

... So naturally, I go in the opposite order. Sabrina is down. Koga is next.

Oh, shut up. I’ve been through here like 10 times already. Don’t you know? All I have to do is ignore you while walking right in front of you, and the moment I exit that door, I’ll be on a bicycle that I don’t actually have.

NOW I can use Surf, instead of performing miracles and walking on water.

I bet Lt. Surge is real confused right now. He’s all alone, neglected and dejected, having been ignored for the longest possible time.

And all that waiting for this super unfair battle. This isn’t even the most one-sided Gym Battle ever either. I’ve beaten Brock with a level 100 Nidoking. I’ve beaten Misty with a level 100 Mew. I’ve beaten Falkner in HGSS with a level 81 shiny IV 31 all EVed Weavile. There’s truly no kill quite like overkill.

Time to wrap it up for the day. I’m in Vermilion City, so... what else can I do here?

Oh? Are you sure? I could’ve used the phase-through-everything glitch to walk around this guy, but... I don’t have to.

Hold right, save. Reset. Mash start as the game loads up so I pop open the menu as soon as possible. Did you know? In Generation I, no matter what direction you’re facing when you save, you’re ALWAYS FACING DOWN when you reload that save? But if I do this here, I’m still facing right, aka, water. But the game thinks I’m facing down. So when I use Surf and take that step forward into water...

I go the wrong direction and phase right through this dude. I’ve clipped through a lot today, huh?

Some guard you are, letting a random dude phase through you like that.

And now we see that the ship is still here. And I can Surf around to find the truck that somehow everyone believed that was hiding Mew underneath. Fake news existed way back then too, huh? There’s nothing underneath. It’s immovable.

And also, you can still board that ship, get all the loot that you may have missed, and waltz out and the ship won’t leave a second time. ... Even if it does, I suppose you can just phase through that guard and go back on board.

Now that’s it for today. But Dr. Red still has more experiments to perform. Let’s see the checklist here...

In order to do Surfing Pika and Flying Pika, I probably need to do some Pokemon “splicing”. Though I guess it’s technically Pokemon fusion. Player duplication... well, it’s kind of luck based, I guess? And I need Fly. Currently, NOTHING can use Fly (other than Mew but I’m not giving Mew any HMs). Which means, I’ll need a temporarily aerial transport. And in order to beat the crap out of Prof. Oak, I need a specific Special stat, and to easily control that, I need Fly and a Special stat of 181, 182, or 183. ... So that’ll take some grinding that I don’t want to do tonight. So, that’s it for this part!

[akampana]

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

[diabolikscenario]

NSFW- Can I ask for a scenario of Shu losing his virginity? (Always wanted to see one of the diaboys having sex for the first time)

I am crying bc Tumblr keeps on rejecting this?? and idk how to post it. Urgh sucks... Anyways I hope you like it. I had real trouble writing this Anon! ;o; <3

[⚠️NSFW ⚠]

Taking the virginity of the boys / 1st time

Character: SHU

Shu Sakamaki x Reader What, you're still a v!rgin?! It gushed out of your lungs. Shamefully, you covered your mouth with your right hand. That should have remained unspoken... Yes, you already guessed, but now he was fully upfront about it. Shu sighed and scratched his head in a carefree manner . Tsk, don't be so noisy. And, what's the big deal? Having sex.. that never really piqued my interest. It's exhausting to do. Overall, don't they say good things should remain untouched? So, now you know - can I leave?" What a blatant lie. With these words, he grabbed his Headphones and got up from the sofa. Panic arised in your body, not knowing what to do. One part of your brain wanted to leave it be, while the other one had the urge to deflower him. You knew he was lying, recalling some spicy Magazines you found recently-  as well as a selfmade pocked vag hidden in the trash. His baths took longer than usual, and he started locking his damn room every night. You knew 100% he wanted to do it, more sooner than later.  In a rapid movement you shifted and grabbed onto his Shirt. "S-Shu, I-!" A grin formed on his lips while he brushed your hand off his body. "Haah? Don't tell me you want to do it with me? Come on, that's-" Interrupting and half screaming, you made it very clear. "Yes!" Shu's eyes widened, trying to process this sudden outcome. After a few seconds of silence he blinked furiously, nodding in agreement. "Seems like you got me there. Come here." Shu grabbed your sweaty wrist and flipped you around quickly. Suddenly pushed against the Sofa, you immediately lost your balance, landing face first on the cold and leathery armrest. A inaudable gasp escaped your throat. Your head slowly turned to the side, just to catch a glimpse of Shu's red, flushy face. His breath was getting ragged and his trousers revealed a pretty spicy tent. The blonde slowly leaned down to your face and words started to fill the empty room. "Oi. I know what you're thinking. That I don't have experience and I don't know what to do. But in reality I jacked off so many times to your face I know how to get myself going." Your head was now all mush, the evidence of everything you suspected beforehand ... It almost send you over the edge. Your sex now drenching your lacy panties, you just hoped Shu would take them off in no time. He slowly bit his lip as He reached for your skirt and panties. Your guts were tightening, your everything was extremly moist and now you just hoped he'd release himself inside of you. Quickly taking off your panties, he chuckled at this wonderful view. "Hah, so this is what anticipation looks like.." Shu pressed his fingertip against your entry, as you breathed heavily and tried to push his finger inside of you. Originally you wanted to go easy on him, but the thought of you being his first made you absolutely crazy. A whisper rolled off your tongue "Shu, please touch me. Touch me as much as you want. Use me, as you always imagined while you touched yourself.” Shu gulped hard, droplets of sweat forming on his forehead while fumbling around on his pants, just to reveal his hard and thick groin. Slowly pumping his manhood a few times, he moaned through his teeth. "I hope this will be as good as expected." Placing his hot member on your entry, he immediately did what you asked for. In a quick movement, he pushed all his dick inside of you,  filling you with joy and excitement. Deeply moaning, Shu opened his eyes and tried to focus. "Oi. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't do this with anyone but me." Shu started to move and quickly upped his pace. His arm was now wrapped around your Body as he pounded forward into the heat of your dripping canal. Slaps were filling the empty mansion, taking your joy to unlimited levels. Your orgasm was just around the corner, but you didn't wanted to le go without letting HIM know. "S-Shu.. I'm gonna-- If you keep up like this.." Hearing this, his hand cupped your face. Both your foreheads meeting, Shu whispered slowly. "Urgh. Let's... Do this together then. I can't go any longer..." After two more unsteady slaps, his hot manhood twitched a few times while shooting his load into your deepest bits. All that was left was a long moan filling the room. Just as you realized he actually said your name, your orgasm was kicking in and the sweet release you wanted was finally there. Shu slowly came to a halt, kissing your cheek tenderly. "Hm. I guess I am addicted starting today. But I am sleepy now, so let's take a nap." 

[nxmuzluv]

ariana birthday hcs !! —

it’s september 1st in south korea & japan rn,,,, so you know what that means

26th birthday hcs 👁👁

(this post is long as hell so brace urselves lmao)

on the morning of her birthday, ariana is woken up by either twitter and message notifications or her husband

her fans are blowing up her mentions with birthday wishes and her family & friends are doing the same, so bet that she has about a million notifs

since byakuya gets ready for work before ariana, he usually comes back to wake her up (even if she’s already up lol)

he hands her coffee (a caramel macchiato with a shit ton of cream and three sugars), tells her “good morning” and “happy birthday, love,” and kisses her on the forehead

(SOBBINFGMNBKJHBMK)

they usually have a short lil conversation about whatever (what they’re going to do that day, ariana’s birthday, other random topics) before byakuya tells ariana to go to work lol

but before she does, she usually opens twitter and scrolls down her birthday hashtags (which are already trending with about 100,000 or so tweets lmao), and responds to her text messages

three hashtags i came up with are “#AutumnFairyAri,” “#26WishesForAriana,” and “#아름이하트27개” (#27HeartsForAhreum) 🥺

(the last one is because ariana is 27 in korea lol)

guaranteed that she’s smiling like an idiot at those tweets lol

if her fans are lucky, ariana might like their post. if they’re extra lucky, she might even respond-

(cue the combustion of her fanbase)

then she posts a lil morning selfie, thanks her fans for all the birthday wishes, complains about how she has to go to work on her birthday, and then she finally gets ready for work lol

as ariana does, her fanbase is literally in flames lmao they’re screaming at her new selfie (“LOOK AT HER HAIR OMG MNJSHFJFMNGJ” - one of ariana’s fans, most likely), flooding her comment section, and taking over the trending page

ari and byakuya usually leave together, and ariana gets dropped off first, so when she does, they usually say goodbye to each other & byakuya gives her another kiss on the head

ofc they say “i love you” to each other, and if anyone around them has sumn to say about it, then byakuya can just make their jobs disappear !! 😗✌🏽

once ariana gets to work, she’s immediately greeted by another round of birthday wishes and the occasional gift (because oh my GOD she gets so many from her staff)

the best gift comes from her manager of 22 years, yoo miyeon. that woman is literally like ariana’s second mother it’s so cute-

miyeon usually says something along the lines of “remember when you were shorter than me ???” (it is now the other way around lmao)

near the end of her day, ariana sits in her company’s conference room, goes live on vlive, and opens the shit ton of gifts, cards, letters, and bouquets that were sent to her by her fans (and god damn doesn’t she get a lot-)

(ariana loves the bouquets,,, she literally squeals every time she sees that she got another one :(( she’ll be making flower arrangements with all of them later on lol and she’ll probably go live again 👁👁)

her birthday lives are one of the things ariana loves the most. she gets to speak to her fans, speak to her staff all casually, and her fans get to see her again. it’s a win-win :))

(bet, byakuya is watching that live when he has the time and has sent a message to ariana. when she spots his message, knows it’s him, and gets incredibly happy is one of the best moments of the live)

she also speaks to her family (they’re all in korea and america while she’s in japan 😕) during the live !! near the end, ari blows out the candles of the cakes that were bought for her by her staff and her family, and she answers questions from her fans

(lol remember back in 2011 when ari’s fans thought she was gonna finish high school & come back to korea, but instead she met this tall blond mf, fell in love with him, moved in with him, and then ended up marrying him 10 years later so now she’s really not coming back ??? lmao good times 🤣🤣🤣)

it’s a v nice moment & if you miss it, that’s such a loss lol ariana rarely goes live since she’s always so busy

after well over 12 hours, ari’s work day is finally over. on those types of days, she gets home before byakuya at around 7 or 8pm

after work, both of them go to dinner !! :))

while byakuya is coming home, ariana just gets ready. there’s a dress from byakuya that was hung by his staff in ariana’s closet (it’s black and designer, ofc 🙄✋🏽), and all ari has to do is shower, do her hair and makeup, pick out her shoes, and pick out a bag from the literal hundreds that she has

say it with me, y’all !! bag hag

ariana goes live on instagram while she does that as some kind of “get ready with with me” thing. she gets to talk to her fans again (especially her stan twitter ones lol), ask how she should style her hair & do her makeup, and ask what accessories she should choose

she also plays music in the background (especially britney spears, christina aguilera, the pussycat dolls, rihanna, nelly furtado, gwen stefani, lee hyori, or hyuna because they make her feel hotter than she already is lmao) !!

and ari sings to whatever’s playing and she gets haruka-

(am i allowed to put her here ??? i’ll just put here here lol 🤪)

-to say hi & help with her hair and makeup, so ariana’s lives are just a gold mine worth of content lmao

byakuya comes home just a lil while before ariana’s finished, and ofc, she forces asks him to say hi to her fans

lmao all that man does is silently wave with the world’s straightest face, and the chat is just yelling about how fine he is (“GO OFF RICH BOY” - one off ariana’s fans, probably). like HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHINGFGDHMBK

but as they should 😩☝🏽

ariana asks her fans if she should leave or stay on the live for a while longer, and ofc, they usually say that she should stay,,,, but that woman rarely listens tbh ASMNKHJFMNJK

she might stay for like,,, 5 minutes, but usually, she just leaves lmao

a lil while before she and byakuya leave, they talk to each other and to haruka for a while, and haruka probably most definitely takes polaroid pictures of ari and byakuya before they leave lol

(ariana def posts those on twitter later and all byakuya does is retweet them)

(but ofc he’ll tweet out a post wishing his wife a happy birthday,,, okay byakuya, look at you making progress !!)

the restaurant ariana and byakuya go to is of course very fancy and luxurious (it probably serves french cuisine too lmao). ari insists that they get a table on the rooftop, and since it’s her birthday (and since he loves her sm), byakuya complies :))

they talk the entire night, and if she can, ariana reaches over to hold byakuya’s hand most of the time :((

(taking a bit from rae’s hcs on how byakuya would celebrate his s/o’s birthday,,,,, like i’ve kinda been doing the whole time 🚶🏽‍♀️)

after dinner, the two of them will take a walk through tokyo. ariana would love it (well, not really, because she’s wearing literal heels lmao), especially since she and byakuya rarely get to do things like that. she’ll be taking pictures of things she finds interesting and would 100% ask byakuya to take pictures of her (and vice versa)

(she’s posting those on twitter too,,, ariana nation is getting fed well lol)

and then they can finally go back home and stay home, and ariana can finally open the rest of her gifts !!

they’re gifts from her family, her close friends, and of course, from byakuya and haruka !! ari’s literally smiling the whole time as she opens her presents (especially the ones from her family,,, hayley’s homemade birthday cards are always so cute 🥺), and haruka has that polaroid camera out again

(ariana: does anything)

(haru: you’re doing great sweetie !! 😀📸)

idk exactly what ariana would want for her birthday (tmw you don’t even know the preferences of your own character 🧍🏽‍♀️), but most likely, it’s either something homemade or a designer item lmao (mainly another purse-)

fun fact: her aunt josephine spoils the shit out of her lol like ariana could see a bunch of bags from chanel, louis vuitton, and yves saint laurent and automatically think “yeah, that’s my aunt lol”

ariana facetimes her family again, as well !! they get to speak to byakuya and haruka, they sing “happy birthday” to her in korean, they ask her if she liked their gifts, and it’s just a very cute family moment :))

it’s like,,, 11pm by the time ari finishes opening her presents, so she really has to go to bed

before that though, she spams her followers with the pictures that were taken, and posts one last “thank you” tweet before her birthday inevitably ends 😕

(well not really since it’s gonna be september 1st in other parts of the world lmao)

“everyone! thank u sooo much for all the birthday wishes u gave me today! it wouldn’t have been such a great one without y’all, my family, my best friends, my husband (@ByakuyaTogami), and my no. 1 fan, my sister-in-law lmao (@harukaonice). i love each and every single one of y’all with my entire heart, and i’m so glad u love me just as much 🥺 i saw as many of ur posts as i could, and i just wanna thank y’all for reaching over a million tweets! can’t believe y’all think that i’m that important lol (i mean, ofc i am 🙄✋🏻) anyways, once again, thank y’all smmmm! love y’all lots!! <3 ari <3” - ariana’s tweet 🥺 (that she posts in four different languages lol; english, korean, japanese, and french !!)

(SHE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART IM LITERALLY CRINGHMNHJDJGKM)

then ariana and byakuya finally go to sleep (it’s like 1am now jesus christ-), and ariana’s twitter notifications are still blowing tf up lmao

n e ways, that ends this behemoth of a post !! happy birthday to my baby, ariana park and even though she doesn’t exist (😕), i hope she enjoys it to the fullest !!

bonus !!

if she has a public appearance scheduled before or on her birthday, if fans are allowed to attend, they sing “happy birthday” to her whenever they see her !!

like, she could be entering a building and they would sing it, and then she could exit a few hours later & they’ll sing it again lol

ariana’s just like, “babes, you already sang this to me earlier !!”

when it comes to her “more important” birthdays (although her birthdays are always important)—such as her 18th, 20th, or 21st birthdays—ariana will throw quite a big party. like there would be a bunch of celebrities and popular society figures on the list,,, it would be a whole spectacle that the average person could only dream of getting into lmao (like me, ofc 🚶🏽‍♀️)

when ari was a child, her parents would throw a birthday party for her nearly every year lol,,, and while they were living in korea together, they would have dinner with nearly their entire family, too

(she always got two cakes, too,,, like it’s just kinda tradition for the park family at this point lol)

since ariana and jungkook (from bts) share the same birthday, either one of them message each other to wish each other a happy birthday !! ari also sends him a gift, while jungkook posts said gift on twitter and probably fanboys,,, i have a feeling that he would be a fan of her and her dramas,,, as well as the rest of bts

(they have each other’s numbers because ariana is a korean celebrity and they’ve attended events together on multiple occasions,,, ofc she and bts know each other lmao)

and i forgot to mention, but haruka would totally watch ariana’s birthday vlive if she didn’t have practice or something,,, probably sending as many messages as she can & aggressively hearting the live lmao,,, that girl really is ariana’s biggest fan SKJMNNFJMK

i also forgot to mention that JH entertainment (ariana’s agency) releases photos from a birthday photo shoot that they did with her !! they have different themes every year and they’re always so cute :((

they’re also taken prior to ariana’s actually birthday, especially since she’s always in japan now lol (but like,,, how do people not notice her going back and forth between korea & japan sometimes-)

(also, big verified accounts and celebrities on twitter & instagram wishing ariana a happy birthday >>>>>)

(celebrity tingz 🤪)

n e ways, now i’m done !! happy birthday, ari ilysm <3

(the character of haruka togami belongs to @raes-ramblings, btw !!)

[beautifulweird0]

Forgiving Your Parents

I know too many people who’ve experienced some form of trauma from their parents. This isn’t a blog about bashing your folks- this is hopefully a post that will help salvage some strained parent and child relationships. Cause I been there, done that-and understanding your parent is only feasible if your parent is interested in understanding you.

My disclaimer is this: The child isn’t responsible for mending the relationship...solely. I’mma tell you like this, if your parent doesn’t want anything to do with you...skip em’.

   Because that’s backwards as hell and that takes away from loving yourself. Anyway you chop it, if you find yourself forcing yourself on a “parent”, the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere-AND THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT OR CONCERN. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE EXTREMELY WORTHY. I’m so sorry your people ain’t solid; it’s a reflection of them-not you.

It’s my belief that something is wrong with a person if they want no parts of having a relationship with their child. Literally so messed up from their own unhealed traumas that they can’t find it within themselves to love someone they created…

Ain’t no fixing on that unless you take they ass to a therapist.

Moving on.

I’ve always had such a strong feeling in my gut when I come across new people. It’s like they look at me and think I got it all. Truly looking at me and seeing a woman who doesn’t have insecurities or childhood traumas spotted along her path cause I’m kind and always make it a point to smile like Granny told me.

    I’m usually a private person. But its always been that ‘pull’ on me-telling me… “It’s another little girl that is going through the same stuff you went through. Say that shit anyway. And with your chest.” .

Think about it...

Can’t a soul embarrass you about some stuff you open about. That takes all the fun out of their miserable lives if folks know wassup already.

    So as a 22 year old woman that been through some mess with her people, let me share pieces of me. Cause the last thing you want on your conscience is one of your parents passing and ya’ll not being on the best of terms.

I was listening to Mad Bitches the other day and Mikhala Jene said something along the lines of, “Nobody living is perfect”.

That hit me a little different. Like damn...nobody walks this earth perfect so...why do we expect perfection (again, subconsciously).

THIS.

   This is why I say if your parent is trying, then work with them. If they sit down with you and tell you how life was for them coming up. The good parts, the ugly parts, and everything in-between. Trying their best to be authentic and build a bond, then meet em’ halfway (if they haven’t been on some stuff that’s just unforgivable).

And shit, our people ain’t have everything at their fingertips as we do. The apps that spread information quicker than you could sneeze, weren't available. They couldn’t go on a ‘self-care’ page to calm themselves down if triggered or go on YouTube and watch motivational videos. Not making excuses, just using a little perspective that helps me! Yet and still, let your parent(s) know if they did something to wrong you; you gotta’ have respect for yourself as a human. Period.

   I didn’t find out who my biological father was until I was about 16 years old. Up until that point I believed another man was my father (which he is still and will always be!).

Sooo...I already had abandonment issues from my parents and my dad lived in a way at that time, that all parties involved thought it was best my grandparents took us in. That’s all I know is Granny’s (& Grandpa’s) house since I was a baby.

    It helped that when my mom told me who my biological dad was, she was in a much better state of mind and stable-but man...I didn’t know what to feel. My sister was more upset than me (cause we have the same dad hypothetically).

     So many questions ran through my head that I couldn’t even cry or be mad. I was shocked. Everyone played their role so well…

There was a long road ahead of me. Not only did I have to forgive my mom and dad for lying to me for so long, but there was a father in the same city I had yet to know.

My first point is patience. If you aren’t going to be patient with an end goal for you and your parent, you’re wasting your time. Being prepared for them to fumble sometimes is mandatory if y’all going to get to a better place. You mess up on certain projects or what have you’s a few times before you get it right...right?

Give your parent the same energy if you were in their shoes. Cause baby...ain’t nothing worse than admitting your wrongs and still getting beat down. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at my mom in that moment where she was vulnerable and upset cause she knew she played a part in hurting me. What was it gone do but make me feel bad and her feel worse?

     Blowing up wasn’t going to change what happened now 22 years ago.

Yeah, there’s hella’ books on parenting but I’mma tell y’all like my Granny told me, “There’s no such thing as a book on how to be a parent.”.

Having a child of my own- I’ve been witness to this. Folks can be shown and folks can be told on how to do certain things but with each child being different in this world, you have to be intune with them specifically- no book on that.

I was through hell and back with my mother and now we’re in an extremely better place because we both made the effort (more-so on her part 🌚).

But it was my responsibility to go into it with pure intentions and my guard down a bit after she made the effort; disappointment is what I expected sometimes cause I went into it knowing it was going to be a process.

Don’t get it confused,  my mom always knew how I was-that wasn’t the issue. The new end goal was getting to know each other again so I could understand her better so I could forgive her. That’s no sucka’ shit. Its real. Everybody in this life is going to disappoint you, one way or another. Better to know what you’re dealing with so you can assess the situation in order to better assess the person. Free game.

Another step to keep in mind is, boundaries. I just feel like it will make the whole exchange smoother-not easier- but smoother. The point of forgiving your parents and (if you chose) trying to build a relationship, is to have them know you for who you are NOW. Not when you were 5, not when you was 12...have them meet you at your level. They dropped the ball, not you. Sure...nobody asked to be here but that becomes invalid when you start having babies of your own. It’s a different ball game when you bring a life into this world. Your joys become the joy of your children but way too often we forget that our pain becomes theirs as well.

My father always tried too-the dad that I always knew as my dad. On weekends me and my sister would go to his house before he moved to Michigan. Man I was a daddies girl-still am. My grandparents had the house on lock, couldn't watch programs with cussing in it or too much violence. Life of having Southern Baptist grandparents I guess.

 The weekends at pops house was always interesting. I could watch all the music videos I wanted and watch the movies that didn't have too much goin on in them.

My dad would do different stuff with us like go to the library; he always knew I loved reading. Sometimes my dad would take us to the park or a friends house who had kids (how I met my husband), water parks, or even cooking dinner with me and my sister; plenty of quality time where I could talk to him about anything.

However, at the time, pops lived a certain lifestyle and no matter how hard he tried to shield it from us younger kids, I still seen things and experienced things a child shouldn't have. Again, comes with the lifestyle I guess.

My dad drunk...ALOT. And it was interesting to see the 'upsides' of alchoholism and the very big downsides. I'd never forget, I was maybe 8? Another weekend at my dads, just me and my sister (I have multiple brothers on that side too plus another sister), and I woke up one morning on the couch. My dad was goin through some things- all he had was a couch that he let me and my little sister sleep on. My 1st thought when I woke up was where was my dad sleeping? My sister was sleep, and it was still fairly early in the morning. I go back to the empty bedroom to find him sleep on the floor. No pillow. No cover. Just a beer in hand, laid out. That broke my heart.

Just remember feeling sad all over. I took the beer, threw it away then grabbed the pillow I had and laid it under his head. While doing so, my dad woke up, halfway and kissed my hand.

He told me straight up he loves me and he apologized. Didn't go into detail but he didn't have to. My dad never had his pops in his life, nor his mama until he was grown and was taking care of her though her illness.

I knew even at 8 years old that, that gotta hurt. I'm not gone sit here and act like I always understood the motives of my father but I tried because he always tried to understand me and til' this day, he is one of the top 3 people that KNOWS me like the back of his hand.

I had to forgive my parents because they’ve come a long way. Holding all that anger and resentment wasn’t gone help me in the long run. And in a way I can say I've helped to heal them by loving them through their screw ups. We always talk about a parents love but what about a child's love?

I don’t want to pass down my pain to my son, he don’t need that- the world will give its fair share. But everyday I pray that the world won’t hurt him bad. I want my son to be nothing less than strong mentally, emotionally, but most of all spiritually. He won’t have that unless I’m solid. So I ask myself… ‘hm, what’s still hurting me?’.

We all got a story to tell.

Love. Peace. Manifest.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey! So in your latest post you mentioned something about the instinctive reactions that Jikook have towards each other as a sign of intimacy between them. Being a multishipper, I can say that I have noticed the same between Taekook, too. It's almost the same as it is in Jikook. Like during Fake Love Era, when Tae came around to hug JK but stopped himself. I have seen the same happening with Taekook a lot, too. Especially Tae. He seems to be controlling himself a lot around JK. Same goes for +

Hmmmm.....

You really sound like this one tuktukker in my DMs who won't stop trying to convince me Taekook is real.👀 You are not the one, are you? Lol.

And I'm not sure how I feel about this ask...

On one hand, I love the topic about intimacy and even comparing and contrasting Jikook's intimacy with that of the other pairs within the group. I think it makes for an interesting conversation.

But on the other hand too, it feels as if you are asking me to prove to you my opinion and perspective on the topic, and convince you that Jikook is in fact real? I don't gotta do that. Lol.

That sits on the same table as that whole 'what are you seeing that I am not' conversation and I don't feel comfortable with those kinds of debates. It's unhealthy and doesn't flow from a good place.

I don't enjoy pointless competitive and argumentative conversations of that nature especially when it's one person's point of view versus another's point of view- not when Jikook haven't officially stated their sexual preference or that they are an actual couple. It's pointless.

Mine is just to share my thoughts on a subject, nothing more. Chileee, You are allowed to believe whatever you want about these boys and their ships but please don't disguise skepticism as objectivity when it comes to Jikook.

On the topic of intimacy- yea, you piqued my interest in that. Can't help myself. *rolling my eyes. Lol.

I think I have said several times now that BTS in general are a pretty intimate group of friends and as such it is reasonable to expect a certain level of intimacy between them- all of them not just Jikook.

I mean how close do you think Namkook need to be for JK to try and eat food from his mouth? How close does he need to be with Jin for Jin to wake him up by squeezing his nipples or for JK to be kissing Jin's calf or for him to take 'naked' shirtless selfies with him?

When it comes to Taekook, I have said I think they are or used to be one of the closest pairs within the group. How close do you think two people need to be for one of them to strip the other naked to the D to take a shower with?

Tae played a huge role, just as much as Jimin did in their earlier dynamics, in helping JK break out of his shell as the quiet shy boy he used to be in their trainee days.

I mean they both pretty much acknowledged this fact in their conversation in Soop.

But nothing about these interactions outlined above, as 'intimate' as they may seem on the surface, is in any way romantic or indicative of a romantic relationship.

But you are right, when it comes to the metrics for determining whether a ship in BTS is real within BTS, that a clear distinction ought to be made between the kind of intimacy characteristic of romance and the kind of intimacy that flows from close friendships.

There is just a certain degree of interaction that cannot ensue between two people unless those two people are very close to each other. And that intimacy between them often would flow from how close they are with eachother both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and sexually.

Most of these interactions between them are often influenced by each individuals unique personality too. JK is touchy, when he touches Jin or Jimin or Tae there is a higher chance he is just being himself.

Jimin is affectionate and a bit flirty by nature, if you see him being affectionate and flirty with any member there is a higher chance he is just being himself.

Tae is equally very touchy, affectionate and flirty all at the same damn time. Lol. So often when he is being touchy, affectionate and flirty with any member in there, there is a higher chance he is just being himself too.

We ought to make all these deductions and subtract them from the equation. And on that note, skinship would have to be the first to go simply because it is much closer to and contingent on the personality tangent and very far removed from the romantic intimacy spectrum.

What I mean is, a person's comfortableness with skinship depends much on their personality- Some people like it, some don't.

And while we are at it, I think we have to draw the distinction between physical affection and skinship- those two are not the same.

When JK is kissing Jin's leg there is nothing affectionate about that. When he is trying to zap food from RM's mouth- ain't nothing affectionate about that either. If anything at all it's just gross. Boys can be gross sometimes. Lol.

But these actions in no way communicate RM's affections for JK or JK's affection for RM. It just shows they are comfortable around eachother.

I think RM watching JK on the screen with pride and fondness written all over his face during their LGO reaction VLive conveys his love and affections for Kook more just as Kook kissing the top of his head- forehead or whatever, shows his love and affection for RM.

Physical affection is a variant of intimacy and conveys a person's love and fondness of another person but it in no way, by itself, is indicative of a sexual and romantic relationship.

A classic example of this distinction would be the September 1st BB Vlive held on JK's birthday this year. Tae reached for JK and squished his cheeks. It was a cute interaction, true. But was it intimate? If you say yes, I'm smacking the back of your head. Lol.

No, but seriously. Let's look beyond the cuteness of that moment for a second here. Do you think that moment speaks to how intimate they actually are with eachother even as friends off camera?

You said yes, didn't you? I-swear- to-God! Lmho.

It doesn't. It's not. It in no way is a reflection of the level of intimacy between them. What it shows is Tae's fondness of JK that's all. It sits right with the Namkook examples I gave above.

Now juxtapose that moment with Tae Kook's interactions in Run 116. Which of these two moments would you refer to as intimate? Do you see what I mean?

There wasn't much loud skinship going on between Tae kook in that Run episode yet it was the most intimate I had seen them be in a long time- especially the moments of them sitting together on the couch. It made me weak just watching that bit. I won't lie- God was it beautiful. Woo!

But what sets these two moments apart? I don't know about you but to me it's the vulnerability- that's what did me in.

This may be debatable but JK seemed very vulnerable with Tae to me in those moments in Run 116 as compared to the Tae Kook moments in that BB reaction VLive.

Tae seemed very nurturing of JK and his presence and close proximity to JK seemed to provide some sort of comfort for JK.

Vulnerability is a key determinant of emotional intimacy, in my opinion. And I think emotional intimacy sits high in determining if two people are in a romantic relationship.

So forgive me, but all these secret boy with love signs you mention- where is the emotional intimacy and vulnerability in that? How is that physically affectionate and as such such proof that two people are real? Chilee.

Jikook do that too and more but I don't even regard that. Lmho. Those things are cute and beautiful and I uWu at it too- but make no mistakes, it proofs nothing. Lol.

Taekook do that, Jikook do that, Taejin do that- wait a damn minute! You is a tradshipper ain't you? 🧐

Backing away slowly. You sonova bish! lol. You almost fooled me with the whole multishipper bit. Chileee. So sneaky- I like that. Lmho.

Anywho, as I keep saying, I believe Jk is the most emotionally closed off within the group- oh did you read his Weverse magazine interview? Him talking about wanting to have a solo stage someday to try and perform on his own without the members? This is where I regurgitate my slogan for Jikook in 2020- 'Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group.' Lmho.

Totally unrelated, but just wanted to point it out to all the PJMs who come for me when I say JM is more emotionally attached to the group than JK and that JK has the most emotional boundaries within the group.

I mean from their interview, JM was the one who expressed the sentiment of wanting to be with the members forever while JK expressed a desire to pursue a 'solo stage. Just as a disclaimer, as JK said, I am not saying he is trying to go solo or leave BTS. Just read his interview for yourself and see what I mean please.

They both love the group and are attached to it but this goes to show who is the most emotionally attached to the group- It's not important, let's just move on. Lol.

I value Jk's emotional vulnerability because unlike Tae or Jimin, who are both naturally affectionate and as such emotionally open to others, I believe JK is a bit picky about who he decides to be emotionally vulnerable with or emotionally dependent on.

In Jikook's 2014 magazine interview about their friendship, JK expressed and conveyed his emotional dependency on Jimin when he whined about Jimin not waking him up that morning.

He wasn't just being emotionally vulnerable with JM in that moment, in my opinion. I think he was also expressing his emotional needs and wants to Jimin. He was communicating the way in which he wanted to be nurtured by Jimin- He wanted Jimin to wake him up every morning just as he had been doing.

He expressed similar vulnerability with Jimin in their New Jersey VLive when he whined and complained about Jimin not letting him in on their JinMin VLive or even during their Rain fight when he literally cried on the phone with Jimin- please, I'm soft. Don't touch me. Lol.

And when you contrast these moments with even the Tae Kook conversation in Soop which was supposed to be a vulnerable moment between them, you could see JK wasn't as emotionally vulnerable in that conversation- He don switched off his humanity on Tae. chileee. What a man gotta do JK? Lmho

He seemed emotionally closed off to Tae even though Tae was being vulnerable with him. Allow me to regurgitate again- if Tae kook is real it's one sided. Ok that's wrong of me. Lol.

I honestly don't think Tae is in love with JK. He is very fond of JK and he loves him just as much as he loves everyone in the group. I see a similarity between him and Jimin in that regard- except Jimin is throwing it back for his dongsaeng at night. Chileee. Lmho.

Listen, I'm gonna state my opinion as fact here: Taekook is not real. Their ship is not the standard for ascertaining Jikook. Any ship involving JK and JM besides Jikook is null and void and utterly invalid in the grand scheme of things.

There is just a certain degree of emotional depth to Jikook's dynamics that is just absent in all these other tradships involving Kook and Jimin in BTS.

And I think the one thing most tradshippers don't realise about Tae Kook is that their dynamic is more similar to VMin and not Jikook. Tae is to JK what Jimin is to Tae- close friends. And if Taekook is real then VMin ought to be real too. In my opinion.

There is a deep connection between Tae and Kook just as much as there is between Tae and Jimin. The only difference between those two ships is that Jimin nurtures his connection with Tae, just as Tae nurtures his connection with Jimin and so their bond very often is consistent and fully nourished.

But in Tae Kook, for whatever reason, JK stopped nurturing their connection. Over the years, it's always been Tae complaining about JK not doing this or that- Jk ignoring him, excluding him in the VMinKook dynamics, keeping Jimin to himself and from their conversation in Soop, it seemed when Tae tried to tell JK his emotional need in order to nurture their connection JK put a barrier there too. Claiming he didn't want to treat Tae as a friend because because that would have led to them fighting a lot. And Tae said, fighting is something that would have brought them together- This is the missing depth, I'm talking about. Taekook lacks a certain degree of depth in their connection.

So yes, I expect Tae to hug JK when he is excited. I expect him to squish his cheeks like a baby, I expect Tae to sit on JK's laps and bounce up and down. But these are just interactions and they may come across as intimate to some but they in no way carry romantic subtexts.

I mean Trad jokers do that shit with Jikook too most times- but that is not why Jikook is real.

These moments only go to show how close these boys are to one another and as I prefaced earlier- they are all pretty close.

So if Tae is trying to hug JK when he is happy, it is not really a tell. I think it shows how comfortable and close he is with JK. If Jikook or any other ship hugged too, it wouldn't mean that much either. Not to me.

However, why he hesitated to hug JK in the moment you mentioned would be something I would place much value on. Usually, BTS are very comfortable hugging each other and showing skinship. So if suddenly one of them is hesitating to do that with another member then brows ought to be raised.

There could be a myriad of reasons for why they would hesitate to do skinship in a moment but just a few of those reasons would be suggestive of something suspicious going on between the boys.

I mean RM tried to hold Hobi, was it? He wanted to hold his suit or something at an award but seemed to hesitate there for a sec. I think it used to be a meme? Lol.

Then there is JK trying to put his hands around Jimin and hesitating too- I mean all the times he's hesitated when he's tried to touch Jimin...

What these are are just stress marks. It merely shows the wants of whoever was hesitating to engage in the act. RM wanted to touch Hobi's suit, JK wanted to touch Jimin. Tae wanted to hug JK. It's not that deep. Lol.

The act itself they wanted to carry out needs to be taken into consideration just as much as the why they were hesitating in those moments.

I don't think RM was hesitating to touch Hobi's suit because he had a crush on Hobi's suit. That would be- disturbing, even by my standards. Lol.

I don't think JK was hesitating to put his hands around Jimin in the earlier days because he was shy of the cameras in the way he was conscious of the cameras in Soop.

Jk's hesitation in Soop was because he was censoring himself in order not to expose their dynamics. I think.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you gotta find out why Tae hesitated in that moment with Kook. I don't think it was because he was trying not to expose their nonexistent relationship dynamics. Chileeee.

Jimin trying to kiss Kook and stopping himself is different from him trying to hug Kook and stopping himself. Why? Because the former exposes their relationship dynamics while the latter don't.

Sometimes, it's just the cameras that stop them. Other times, like Jikook in Run 116, it's just one of them putting up boundaries with the other- for reasons I've speculated on.

To sum everything up, I guess what I'm saying is, when you notice someone hesitating and exhibiting these instinctual reactions check to see the context- don't just say it's an instinctual reaction and go. Lol.

Consider if it's happening in a vulnerable moment, the history between those two individuals- whether the action in question is something they do a lot with eachother, whether it's an expression of affection or skinship, whether the action they were going for exposes their dynamics, the setting within which that happens and most importantly why that person is hesitating.

Tae going for a hug and hesitating in no way exposes their dynamics, to me, because we see them hug all the time. If he is hesitating to hug JK it's just a sign something is stressing their dynamics and perhaps you have to strap on your tinfoil hat and look into that? Lol.

Chileee, Anon. I feel used and bamboozled by you. Disguising these tradship insecurities as legitimate shipping concerns- Strike one. Lol.

I think if you are looking for ships with similar dynamics in BTS to compare, you should look more into VMin vs Taekook because they are relatively the most similar ship dynamics in BTS as far as ships and friendships go.

But even that, you don't need me to tell you VMin pulls weight over Tae Kook. I think Tae Kook could use some nurturing in their dynamics like VMin do in theirs- more cuddling, more teasing, more I miss you's. Oh love letters would be great too!

They should just spend more time together and nurture their bond. If they start spending time together it will show in their bond and chemistry.

As beautiful as these tradships are, none of them is a competition for Jikook. Jikook is in a league of it's own. They are an Altship. And there is only one of that in BTS.

Signed,

GOLDY

[meimi-haneoka]

Hey there! First of all, thank you for ALL your content, I’m here for all of it and most of it saved me while reading the Clear Car manga.

That being said I have a few questions for ya eheh first of all, and this is one I’ve been dwelling on for a while now, when do you think Syaoran starts to fall for Sakura, both in the manga and in the anime? Because I think I can place it, specially in the anime, but I was wondering what you think.

Number two, do you think it’s still possible for us to have a Season 2 of the Clear Card Arc and if yes, when would you think? I used to see CCS when I was a child and to be able to watch it again with so much character development has been awesome and tho I love reading the manga, it’s so nice to see them brought to life like that, you know? And I know you don’t have an answer, because no one does, but you seem to be quite familiar with CLAMP dynamics so I was wondering what was your opinion on that.

Lastly, I just love how long your posts are because it makes it seem like the chapters are longer and that we have a cushion to lay on while we wait for the next one (also do you think they’ll end the Clear Card Arc in 2021?) and someone that makes it easier for us specially when there are cliffhangers.

So sorry for such a long text, hope you’re well and wish you the very best from Portugal 😊

Hello!! Thank you so much for your kind words, these kind of words are what makes me stay up late at night (sometimes till 3 am) finishing those damn translation posts every time XD Everytime I receive a message like yours I think that in the end it’s worth it! 😊

Let’s reply to your questions! Hmmmm more or less I have an idea of when Syaoran starts to fall for Sakura... In the anime it’s definitely the beach school trip (the one of the ‘test of courage’, so to speak), Syaoran starts to look differently at Sakura (and Sakura too, she realizes that Syaoran can be *really* kind when he wants), while in the manga....well....in the manga he has a reaction ever since their first battle together, when Sakura uses her handkerchief to bandage Syaoran’s bleeding wound! But I also think that the definitive “blow” was given, once again, during the school trip at the beach! He starts to blush furiously and all, so yeah...hehe! Question number two is kinda complicated, because as you said yourself, no one can really know what’s going on in the mind of the producers. But on our side we still have the fact that the manga isn’t over yet (and if they’re waiting for it to enter the final stage, it’s only normal and maybe even a wise decision to put the anime in hiatus until it can catch up with the manga when it’s over), and the fact that everyone involved with this franchise seem to be “serious” people who really love Sakura. CLAMP, Madhouse, everyone. Sakura over the years created a legacy they can’t betray like that, now. Leaving Clear Card (which it’s fair to remember is a fully canon sequel to the original story) with a crippled anime adaptation would be an insult the fans wouldn’t really take well. It might take the time it needs (some new anime seasons came after 6 years - Chihayafuru I’m looking at you) but this anime needs to be completed, one way or another. Especially cause (I’m being totally honest here) the most interesting part of Clear Card barely starts after what they’ve shown in the first 22 episodes. They did such a good job, taking care with the details, trying to make all the conflicting differences between manga and anime meet (what’s with Eriol’s house, the Sealed Card movie and the existence of Meiling etc), that it would really be a pity to throw all of that to waste.

That said, the “preview of the next issue” page of this month’s Nakayoshi reported an interesting thing...

The June issue of Nakayoshi, out on May 1st, will all be dedicated to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Cardcaptor Sakura (we need to do big celebrations!!) and so it will have once again Sakura on the cover, and a special furoku too (with an original Clear Card called “Smile”). But the thing that caught my attention is a small text that says “a special color article will be published” and “lots of information to paint the year of the 25th anniversary”. What will this mean? I don’t want to raise hopes for an announcement, but I’ve seen some “suspicious movements” lately (the announcement that two new cafes will be inaugurated in the next months, and new anime art to promote them.....) so....we’ll be on the lookout, I guess? XD